#GODDDD SO BEAUTIFUL
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i can see how tommy still looks at buck like this when he has boils all over his face.
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In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.
Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.
1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.
Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.
He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.
He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.
2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.
In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.
Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.
For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.
He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.
3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.
The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.
Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.
She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.
Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.
4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.
On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.
He's helpless to save her, again.
4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...
El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.
Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...
Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...
There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.
Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.
She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.
He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.
She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.
Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.
The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.
He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.
And it works. It's music to her ears.
#stranger things#mileven#mike x el#mike wheeler#mine#mileven fuels my soul#'you can only have 30 photos at a time in one post' alright fuck you tumblr#had to collage the first set to fit everything in lol#but ohhh godddd i am so emotional about this dude#he doesnt struggle to say it because he has doubts. its not about whether or not he has feelings for her.#it is 100000% his own personal struggle with himself and his traumas#grabbing screenshots for that last scene though. GOD i was in tears AGAIN#SOMEBODY give Finn every goddamn award under the sun for that performance#the way his VOICE BREAKS!! he sounds so SCARED and VULNERABLE but also so COMPLETELY EARNEST#'i don't know how to live without you' in particular#i will never get over this ever in my whole life tbh#it was so beautiful#also i need there to be more discussion about the parallels between mike's and hopper's internal struggles#because it is almost exactly the same.#the black hole analogy... 'they didnt need me. i needed them. i'm not cursed I am the curse'#like... biggest of ouches#okie dokie ive spat my bars and dropped the mic now its time for B E D#edit days later: i very much regret not brightening the images. goddamn its dark af here
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Hiii Lev! I just wanted to say that I love Bos Taurus so much! I think I read it five times now. It's just so good!! I have a question though. Is Ghost ugly? You described him that way in it and I was curious to know if he was as "not handsome" as you say. Have a great day! ☺️
ahhh thanks!! and yeah lmao maybe a bit controversial but i don't think Simon is super attractive at all. in my personal headcanon, anyway!!
pre-events that led up to him looking the way he does now (mauled, scarred), i think he was an attractive guy. like a young Benicio del Toro (but patchwork because Benicio at any age is unbearably handsome; so the idea of him) but Simon's just too intense to find really attractive, y'know?
and then after? oof. mauled by an animal. dragged through a wood chipper. a travesty of scars that makes you realise how delicate flesh really is, is what i think about when i write him. kinda uncanny/scary! when describing his face, i think of cwm. Randkluft. the Khumbu Icefall. Bergschrund. and try to make something tentatively human from those.
but. it's definitely his size that is the most appealing aspect of him physically. and even that, i often describe as "sickening" and massive in a way that makes you nauseous. i love the idea of him being so large and intimating, that it's not even a real attraction - it's like. submission. roll over and show your belly so this big, scary animal doesn't eat you, that sorta thing.
i don't think any of the inserts i've written in the last handful of Ghost fics find him sexually attractive based purely on looks - it's just fear. and his charisma. your sense of self-preservation. instincts. but like Goya and Géricault, once you got over the initial fear of his size, the way he acts, his mannerisms, his intensity, there's definitely a beauty to it.
#godddd#this got so long lmao#i usually try to leave it vague enough that my ugly could be your beauty though!!!#also thanks!!!!! glad you enjoyed it!!
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martha, dearie, you are so strong. i love you so so so much ಥ╭╮ಥ
#spy x family spoilers#i expected that confrontation but i did not expect that Martha and Henry's wife would become good friends#that must've hurt TREMENDOUSLY. i cannot even imagine what she felt#and to have this mindset?! HELLO?!#martha you are the most beautiful woman to exist in this series i love you so much#everyone in the fandom collectively ganging up to give martha a big fat hug because girlie really went through it#but she moved onnnnn and she became happy and she lived ಥ╭╮ಥ#GODDDD I LOVE MARTHA SO MUCH#spy x family#sxf spoilers#martha marriott#henry henderson#spy x family manga#sxf thoughts#mine
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#my godddd 😮💨❤️🩹#life is so beautiful you guysss#bless Sufjan's fucking precious mind😮💨🩷!!#everything written‚ produced and recorded by him + all the artwork and essays also by him!! he's everything!! ❤️🩹#the entire album sounds both familiar and new (like Goodbye Evergreen is literally how The Age of Adz goes from Futile Devices to Too Much!#sounds very atmospheric and melancholic and bittersweet but also dreamy and euphoric. and very gentle#and there's a sense of urgency and helplessness but the album ends in a very hopeful note which is so beautiful!!#lyrically is so impressive and breathtaking. man the way he feels everything so deeply 🫨❤️🩹#stunning compositions + so much heartbreak and existential despair and unsettling imagery and self-sacrifice#and distress and personal atonement and resignation and so much HOPE and LIFE and LIGHT#and also religious devotion (shocker i know lol)#and the Neil Young cover (shoot me!) is better than the original lol it's just so sweet and hopeful 💐#i really loved it so much!!#sufjan stevens#javelin#📓
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youtube
WIN FOR GAY PEOPLE 💖💖💖
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okay first thoughts. i dont HATE the ending i just feel like it needed more time in the season to reach the conclusion it did
#i enjoy the vast majority of it tbh i really do feel like it needed more breathing room tho#they tied up zaun and piltover way too quickly but idk what else they woulda done#also auuughhhh i know they wanna do a sequel to arcane. they SHOULDNT but i know theyre going to so its not OVER over i can feel it#which bothers me but okay! its riot! what else do you expect!#but vik and jayce. chefs kiss. perfect ending tbh. gay as HELL.#and also bets on the successor to arcane being abt noxus. id bet my life on it now tbh.#shut up virgil#arcane spoilers#despite flaws in writing GODDDD i fucking love the animation#goes without saying. gorgeous. beautiful.#fucking incredible work#i also have some mildly mixed feelings about jayce's speech at the end? but i see what they're going for. i see the vision here#thats just a hard topic to tie up properly yk#SHOUT OUT TO NOW CANONICALLY DEAD CHAMPIONS BTW#THATS KIND OF GREAT?#they arent as tied down by game canon as i thought they really can just do whatever they want now#uhg. more thoughts in the morning. im going insane.
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Rosamund Pike as Elspeth Catton in Saltburn (2023)
#rosamund pike#saltburn#elspeth catton#movie#screencaps#emerald fennell#my screenies#stgedit#shes so beautiful#my godddd
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#MARTIN LOOKS SO PRETTY I COULD THROW UP#MY PRINCESS#THE HOODIEEEEE#MY FAVORITE BLONDE#GODDDD#martin ødegaard#seeing him in like three days 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻#afc#riccardo is also beautiful but in this photo particularly my focus is on martin
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I made lantern fanart because I think she's so swag. augh
#GODDDD I DONT KNOW WHY I LIKE HER SO MUCH. SHES SO HOT#MY BEAUTIFUL BUTCH PUMPKIN GIRLFRIEND#Gaikotsu Shotenin Honda-san#skull-face bookseller honda-san#art cabinet#lantern
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did these for scientific research, i swear
#james spader#nick vanzant#supernova#supernova (2000)#supernova movie#nick vanzant gif#nick vanzant gifs#supernova gifs#gif#gifs#gifset#slowed them down for the scientific reasons aswell#i go feral crazy about how tight those pants are#its like a second skin#never wanted to be someones pants so badly#argh his fucking ARMS uugh oh godddd im ok....im sooooo ok#and those legs...step on me please nick do it for science#and ofc his beautiful ass#so shapely#looks so slapable 💞#ugh all his shapes are beautiful#i love all the spader shapes fr
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arrrggghggh…. Winterrr. (<- FRUSTRATED !!!!)
#marcy.woof#i’m not gonna say i hate it . because i don’t i think she’s beautiful in her own way#DO* think oops. tumblr trying to sabotage me#BUT GODDDD DOES IT MAKE ME MAD !!!!#i am so So cold … shivering …!!!!#and DRY!!! my palms are all peely from the cold … Sigh#i am not built for this !!!! I MISS SUMMER !!!!!!#🏝️🏖️☀️<- how i’m supposed to be living !!!
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Ship Bingo: Heckyl/Kendall
Milk I think you and I know damn well what kind of monster you unleashed with this ask
Unsurprisingly, they've hit two bingos
I've made my adoration for this pairing ABUNDANTLY clear on my blog and anyone who knows me in relation to PR knows that they're my absolute favorite ship franchise-wide (and on my top 10 for favorite pairings in media ever). From the moment they had their first scene together (back when I was only 9 years old) I was immediately in love with them and wanted to see them together by the end. And through all of it, through all the flirting, heartbreak, longing to see the other again, they came back together and he joined the fight not just out of a genuine desire to be good, but for her sake because he felt so compelled to protect her when she needed it. And she believed in his good heart even after he betrayed her with the hope that he would realize it, if these two ain't loyal idk what loyalty is tbh
Also I'm a sucker for ANY nerdy, emotionally stunted brunette and her goofy ass boyfriend, purple good girl/blue redeemed villain, height difference, ISTJ/ENFP, girlboss/boyfailure simp, and snarky brunette/goofy humanoid alien pairings so these two are an automatic number one. Literally everything I want in a relationship (alongside my other OTPs)
There is quite literally no way I can pour all my veneration, fondness, and admiration for this ship into words that can even remotely convey the depths of it all, but this is my 'across time and space, I will always find you' pairing, my PR Roman Empire (next to Fran & RJ) when it comes to shipping, they are literally my everything, forever and always <3333 I've been in love with them for 8-9 years and it shows no signs of stopping any time soon
(Also one of my mutuals came up with the ship name 'Space Geek' for them and that's absolutely amazing and I use that too)
Send me a ship for the ship bingo!!!
#milk we've literally been matching pfps as them on discord since...fucking july#of course these two are gonna be my number one#i know i've been posting a shit ton of jungle fury recently but never think i could love any pairing more than kendall/heckyl#godddd they make me wanna bang my head into a wall they're so beautiful#need a heckyl to my kendall so fucking bad#power rangers dino charge#power rangers dino super charge#prdc#kendall morgan#heckyl#heckyl prdc#kendall x heckyl#kendall/heckyl#space geek#might as well start using it now LOL
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do you guys remember this. because it lives rent free in my brain every single day. this is still some of the funniest shit I have ever seen. like what do you mean no 😭😭
#shadow and bone#sab discourse#alskjdfls i guess XDD#do you ever read something youre sure is satire but it turns out to be serious im alskjdflks#grishaverse#anti darkling bs#aleksander morovoza#darklina#the darkling#godddd anti posts have turned right around into humorous territory at this point#its like free comedy#this is the post that claims one of his worst crimes is 'killing many families' and 'forcing alina to like him'#which is objectively some of the funniest analysis i have ever read in my entire life#i actually like his character and i could do a better breakdown of what ACTUALLY makes him a terrible person#this is crazy#i could do the job of 90 percent of antis better than them#fandomcourse#myramblings#and my first talking point would be how his beauty is textually posited to be a working factor of his manipulation and so cannot be denied#as a fact#unless you wish to make the point that lbs manipulation was lacking (which it is)#or#that the mentions of his looks can be attributed to something else#my second talking point would be about how manipulation ACTUALLY worked in the darklina relationship#because believe it or not for a bunch of people who have this as their main talking point#they never actually… hit on the point#or even anywhere near it#which I suppose makes sense for a bunch of people who think lbs writing of the darklings manipulation was actually good#and that his character was subversive (lol)#negative
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getting registered to vote is crazy there are so many resources to make this as easy a process as possible like you realize oh shit that ballot is gonna have more than just the president on it it's gonna have local things but I have the attention span of a goldfish and have also never had to pay attention to this stuff before in my life so i obviously know nothing am I gonna have to do a bunch of intensive crash course research?? no. turns out there are websites that will just sum it up for you
#just an example ballot with all the info. “this bill will do this here's the arguments for it here's the arguments against it”#all the way down. beautiful#very anxious about voting cause I'm aware I'm 18 and a dumbass so I'm like oh godddd I'm gonna fuck it up I'm gonna fuck it up#no!!! there are easy resources everywhere💖
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