#GOD that would've been funny as shit

[essektheylyss]

Back to my highly intermittent c2 rewatch because I have a knitting project again, and it really is incredible how undramatic the choosing of their name was. They were asked the episode before, put it off, did not discuss it in the interim as is dnd tradition, and had an exchange that lasted about a minute before they settled on the Mighty Nein. Suggested by the biggest flight risk in the party. Absolutely iconic.

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

was having trans marty thoughts again and i came to a realization about this scene

[eightspringdays]

the meronia reunion

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

This is the funniest way of depicting Speedster Speedster Sense™ ever

(Speedster Speedster Sense™: a Speedster's innate ability to track and locate other Speedsters, especially when the tracked Speedster is using their powers)

They're like bloodhounds after a squirrel lmao

Normally, this kinda thing is depicted as a speedster just kinda knowing where someone is (see, below)

Like these panels where Barry just knows where Max and Wally are. There are tons and tons of instances of Speedsters vaguely feeling another Speedster nearby or, like Barry, just knowing their exact coordinates but seeing an energy trail? That's fun. I like that so much better.

It isn't the first time we've seen something like this. Wally tracked down a time manipulator for Dick one time exactly like Ace and Avery. But it's just so fun. I'm glad to see it back.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

We had to make mini board models of our rooms for this class and our old guy professor walked in and saw all our models and said "look at all these beautiful models" and I said "me when I work at vogue" and he blinked at me and went "what?" and I said nothing nevermind I'm sorry. Mortifying

[cosmic-walkers]

After delving into tudor history again, since college....it always shocks me that people think that thomas wanted anne dead more than henry and that idk...henry wasn't the one who made thomas put the charges on anne.

i'm not excusing thomas and how he fucked anne over, and i know they had fall outs, but at the same time he couldn't put her on trial, or start any of that without henry wanting it. the way henry has shimmied his way out of being directly tied to anne's death, but rather thomas seems to be the scapegoat always surprises me.

ppl act like henry didn't get married like a week after.

[nyhti]

Awww, that’s so cute <33 Bruce teaching him martial arts.

Action Comics #318

[mrfunnyinthebank]

peepaw driving that damn bike as slowly and carefully as possible

[siriuslylantsov]

be my valentine

pairing: spencer reid x reader

description: in which, spencer asks you out after a hearty but incomplete info dump on the history of valentines day.

tags: fluff! idiots inlove, gn!reader, reader is briefly described as shorter than spencer, teasing!spencer, grumpy!reader, penelope is an angel and i love her so much, reader shitting on valentines day and raising some very valid points.

a/n: based on this request, second fic for the event!! i know its still four days till valentines day but! if i didnt get this done now it would've been late. i rewrote this THREE times... but i rlly like how this version came out! happy reading :)

wc: 2.1k

it's your lunch break and you’re glaring at yet another sappy couple that walks by you. grumbling, you take another bite of your blueberry muffin. spencer laughs from his seat in front of you, amused by how your lip curls into an irritated pout. the two of you had walked to a cafe, a brief reprieve away from the frenzied police department you were stationed at for this week's case. 

“motherfuckers,” you seethe, still chewing your food. “i hate valentine's day.”

he laughs again, his tone sarcastic, “really, i never would’ve guessed.”

your glare shifts to him as you cross your arms. his grin is still there, annoyingly persistent, you hate that it doesn't affect him as much as it should. if you told him this, he would’ve told you that it didn't pack much of a punch. 

you roll your eyes and continue with a heavy scoff, “it's just another fake holiday, you know. like mother's day. created by greeting card companies trying to commercialise a day that shouldn't even exist honestly. every day should be dedicated to showing your loved ones how much you care, not just 24 hours in the middle of february.”

he accepts your cynicism with a smirk, completely accustomed to it. he knows you don’t mean it, not entirely, you just like to rant. “you know valentines day actually goes back about 2000 years. i’m sure greeting card companies weren't around back then,” he corrects, biting his lip in suppression.

your eyes narrow into slits, feeling the faint shift in the air of an incoming info dump. you ignore the way you want to hear what he has to say and take a sip of your coffee instead. you stall to torture him a bit, it's funny how he squirms.

“really,” you drag out, stroking your chin in exaggerated contemplation. you stare at him knowingly, he wants to continue but he's waiting for you to give him the green light. you laugh quietly, mood already improved, “go on.”

spencer visibly brightens, sitting up straighter and hands springing into action. “well, valentine's day has a really fascinating and somewhat convoluted history,” he starts, almost giddily. “the earliest accepted theory can be traced back to the roman festival of lupercalia, which was celebrated from february 13th to 15th. it was a fertility festival dedicated to faunus, the roman god of agriculture, and it included a ritual where men would sacrifice a goat and a dog, then use strips of the goat’s hide to whip women-”

“wait, they used goat skin to whip women?” you interject, eyes widening incredulously.

“yes! they willingly lined up for it too, believing it would make them more fertile,” he explains, far too animated considering the context, but it's okay. you like his enthusiasm. 

you grimace, “weird.”

“right. however, the day of love that we now recognise was brought by st. valentine, though which valentine is unclear—there were at least three martyred saints by that name. the most famous story involves a priest in third-century rome who defied emperor claudius ii's orders by secretly performing marriages for young soldiers,” he pauses to take a breath. you use it to bring your coffee back up to your lips, hiding your smile.

“claudius believed single men made better warriors, so he banned them from marrying,” he clarifies to which you nod. “when valentine was caught, he was executed on february 14th, which is why he’s the namesake of the holiday. some versions of the story even say that he sent a letter to his jailer's daughter signed ‘from your valentine’ which could be the origin of the modern tradition.”

“huh,” you pick your lip in thought, spencer hides the way his eyes dart down to them as you do it. “but that’s still an execution, how did it-”

the shrill tone of your ringtone interrupts you. “mhm, okay,” you respond when you pick up the phone. “we’ll be right there.” 

spencer stares at you expectantly, reaching over to grab your bag. he secures it over his shoulder and stands up. 

“it was jj,” you explain, stuffing the last bits of muffin into your mouth. “wi’ness ‘howed up.”

the food-muffled words make him chuckle and hold out a hand for you to get up. you let him pull you up with a dramatic huff, still holding his hand as you dust crumbs from your lap. you realise it a little too late and let go with a start, frown returning when you realise he isn’t going to let you carry your bag.

the walk back only took about five minutes before but this time's slower pace makes it a longer ordeal. comfortable silence brackets the two of you until it doesn’t when spencer speaks up.

“so, there's actually a lot more to the history of valentine's day. for instance, how the day became one of romance instead of, as you said, one that marked a martyrdom. we could, i don't know, discuss this properly over dinner. or drinks? or ice cream, i know that you like ice cream-”

filler words... he’s nervous. amid his rambling, he doesn't realise that you’ve stopped in your tracks. 

“-we can do whatever you want, i don't mind.” when he looks beside him and doesn't find you, he turns around. he can scarcely read the expression on your face, he usually can. this causes a little bout of concern to bubble up, “what is it?”

“are you asking me out?” your question is immediate, blunt, as a confused crease forms between your eyebrows.

well shit, he was. his lips part as he processes what he just said, he looks a little like a deer in headlights the way he stares back at you. was that too much? are you mad? did you want him to ask you out? what if you say no? he should say something. what if he messes everything up? he can’t-

“spencer,” his name rings out softly, pulling him from his spiral. 

his eyes snap to yours, searching, desperate to read between the lines, to piece together what you’re thinking like he always does—except this time, he can’t. he squeezes his eyes shut before opening them again, “yes.”

he swallows hard and adds, “on a date.”

“i got that,” you murmur, stepping closer to him, and closing the distance that he unintentionally left.

his head dips, voice small. “i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

your head tilts slightly, studying him. “you didn’t.”

the reassurance eases him a little but not enough as the anxiety claws at him while he waits for your answer. your phone sounds again from your pocket, this time a text from morgan. you quickly type out a response–got lost, be there in 2. it's a pathetic excuse, if you focused, the station was in your direct eye line. but you needed to say something. 

“okay.”

he can't help the sign of relief that slips out of him, you giggle at the sound. when he looks at you again, he's unmeasurably happy to see your poorly concealed smile, breaking out in his own matching one. 

“yeah?” he asks sheepishly.

you nod, chewing your bottom lip, “yeah.”

your eyes squint at the corners, a side effect of the same grin that those sappy couples had been sporting, the same one that you’d been complaining about a little while ago. it makes you want to kick yourself, so you do the next best thing. you take hold of spencer's hand and drag yourself back to the pd. spencer shuffles somewhat behind you, trying to keep up with your stride. it doesn't take him long with those long legs of his.

his thumb strokes your knuckles gently–deliberately, you feel–but he pretends it's an unconscious action with the way his eyes are trained ahead. it makes you roll your eyes. when you near, you reluctantly let go of each other, the moment being the last time the two of you are alone for the rest of the day.

-

the team ends up solving the case a few hours later, taking the jet home where a valentines day baking spread is set up in the briefing room. all set up by the resident tech savvy. penelope tells you later that it took a whole week of convincing on her part, insisting that it would be quick and she’d clean up, and that everyone would get home to their own valentine's day plans in no time. 

there are a few heart-shaped helium balloons floating in the corners, and pink streamers in easy to reach places. the room is drastically more inviting, maybe the tones of fuschia and bubblegum have something to do with that. a cake and a bowl of suspiciously dyed punch reside on the table, along with pink plates and cups.

“penelope,” you gasp when you see them.

perfectly curated baskets of chocolate and cookies and associated items for everyone. you pick up the one with your name on it and inside you find: a candle, your favourite candy tied together with a little bow and a letter signed ‘happy valentines day, sweetheart. love, penny xx’. 

oh my god, you could kiss her. 

“it's like christmas,” emily muses from the other end of the table. you hear jj mutter something in agreement. you peek over at spencer, it's probably the hundredth time that you've snuck a glance his way. his eyes were already on you every other time, only now they were accompanied by a pair of red heart-shaped glasses, the clear plastic lenses offering a perfect view of his hazel orbs. the picture makes you laugh to yourself, you can barely hear it echoing from his end. 

-

about 30 minutes later, only the stragglers are left. in better words, the single people. the individuals with partners having rushed off to their own respective plans. you're making small talk with another girl who worked around the office when you feel a light hand on your shoulder, spencer nodding his head toward the elevator to signal your leave. you politely wish her goodbye and walk out with him. 

“cute glasses,” you tease, bumping his shoulder with yours, though the height difference makes it so you're nudging his upper arm. 

“yeah? i might get the lenses medicated, switch them out for my regular ones,” he jokes, his elbow nudging yours gently as he pushes the bridge of the glasses up the slope of his nose instinctively. 

“good idea,” you nod.

“you think?”

“mhm.” 

once again, he beats you to your bag, swiping it from your chair and carrying it along with his own. you meekly toy with the hem of your shirt as the two of you walk to the elevator. 

“so, bummer that neither of us have plans today. it’s so early,” you say, being blatantly obvious with what you're suggesting.

spencer only offers you an indifferent “yeah, bummer” in response, walking in when the doors slide open. when you look at him though, he's anything but indifferent, the corner of his lip pulling up in a crooked smile, irritatingly smug. you don't know where he gets off on being so at ease but the expression on his face makes you scowl as you follow him in. 

he is silent the whole ride down. you become increasingly annoyed, only faltering slightly when his hand reaches down to hold yours. his fingers thread between yours and you not-so subtly curl yours over his, ignoring the way he looks down at you. 

you try not to smile at the domestic picture of the two of you walking out hand in hand. thankfully the basement is empty. he pauses between your cars and mutters a quick “see you monday” before loosening his fingers and turning to walk away.

“spencer,” you groan, almost a whine as you squeeze his hand before he can let go.

he responds immediately, without missing a beat, “yes, angel.”

fuck.

you want to melt but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction. “would you like to do something tonight?” you grit out begrudgingly.

“i would love to,” he agrees, pulling you closer with your hand. your gaze darts to the two bag straps on his shoulder and you realise he had no intention of letting you go just like that. so you shove him, a little hard that he stumbles a bit. he huffs a laugh and you shake your head dismissively. 

he slowly, tentatively, dips down to press a soft kiss to your cheek. your eyes flutter shut at the contact. 

“how does thai food sound?” he asks, that same bashfulness creeping into his voice that you love so dearly. 

“sounds perfect.”

you share another sweet smile that would probably make you gag from an outside perspective but now it just makes you feel dizzy. he leads you back to his car, muttering something about how he’ll pick yours up tomorrow morning. you want to argue with him but that same dizzy feeling stops you.

you can't help the dreamy sigh that slips out when he connects your hands again over the centre console. thank god for st. valentine, you think.

reblogs and replies are appreciated :) | m.list

divider from @saradika-graphics

[astonmartinii]

day one: when you wish upon a star | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem reader

he's been begging max to set him up ... and look who has him in the grid secret santa!

christmas song: my only wish (this year) - britney spears

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,209,488 others

tagged: carlossainz55, pierregasly & landonorris

f1: it's that time of the year again... it's secret santa time!

view all comments

user1: THE SPEEDOS????

user2: 100% from valterri

user3: what do we have to do to see them on tho ???

user4: HUH?

user3: we're all thinking it??

alexalbon: since you're a blabber mouth @charles_leclerc PLEASE PUT MORE EFFORT INTO YOUR GIFT THIS YEAR

charles_leclerc: my gift was great last year idk what you people are talking about

alexalbon: if i unwrap a calendar i will set horsey on leo

charles_leclerc: @rspca GET HIM

user5: i love with secret santa you can really tell which drivers are actually friends lol

user6: charles... we're looking at you last year

user7: the teaser showed that max got lando ... could be interesting after this season

maxverstappen1: not that i need to ... but i have a plan

user8: really?

maxverstappen1: i have concepts of a plan!

landonorris: please don't like gift wrap like a litter box or something

maxverstappen1: oh i like my cats much more than i like you why would i do that?

maxverstappen1: AHA! I HAVE IT

landonorris: that sounds ominous

carlossainz55: is it something to do with his pathetic crush on a certain someone

landonorris: LALALALALLALALA SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW ABOUT THAT MAX PLEASE DON'T I'M SORRY ABOUT AUSTRIA

user9: well now it needs to happen...

user10: whoever came up with the grid secret santa i need to give you a big fat kiss

maxverstappen1: you might not be the only one ....

landonorris: SHUT UP

maxverstappen1: hehehehehee

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 14,055 others

yourusername: gift giving is my love language

view all comments

user14: okay lando i kinda get you

user15: she's friends with max and looks like that and hasn't been hooked? where is the hope for all of us

maxverstappen1: hideous personality 👍

yourusername: and you're my best friend so what does that say about you?

maxverstappen1: i have zero standards?

yourusername: girl fuck you

user16: i hate bitches that can actually wrap gifts

user17: leave me alone with my crinkled shit held together with a whole roll of tape

landonorris: my love language is words of affirmation :3

yourusername: okay mr praise kink

landonorris: WHAT? NO?

yourusername: whatever you wanna say babygirl

landonorris: oh i ... um - yes!

user18: oh brother this dude stinks

alexalbon: he is even worse in real life

oscarpiastri: but it is just as entertaining

landonorris: i'm glad my low self esteem is so funny for you guys

yourusername: you're amazing lando - don't think badly of yourself :(

landonorris: did you or did you not call me a 'stumpy, entitled british bum' the other day?

yourusername: well that's because you were fighting max and unfortunately we're two trauma bonded cats and he therefore comes first

yourusername: but i still love you!

landonorris: LOVE?

user19: someone check on him?

oscarpiastri: i just found him passed out in his driver's room

georgerussell63: that's becoming blackmail material

landonorris

liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 803,405 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

landonorris: didn't manage to win the championship this time round but i'm hoping max got me something good in the secret santa to say sorry

view all comments

user20: thank god this season is ending

user21: i think it would've killed me if this title race went to abu dhabi again

user22: it's pookie on pookie crime

user23: i fear one of the pookies may have killed the other if this went on any longer

maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know weather boy

landonorris: um yes? i hate surprises

maxverstappen1: i think you might like this one 😈

landonorris: that emoji makes me think you've been scheming

maxverstappen1: maybe i have? you'll just have to wait and see ...

landonorris: STOP I CAN HEAR YOUR EVIL LAUGHTER FROM HERE

landonorris: seriosuly how many of you are in on this it sounds like a pack of hyenas this is meant to be SECRET santa

alexalbon: what do you mean i don't know anything about this ...

landonorris: alex YOU CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AROUND ME

alexalbon: maybe i just find you real funny lando?

landonorris: really?

alexalbon: NO

user24: they are enjoying torturing him way too much

maxverstappen1: call it karma for all the shit he talked throughout the season

landonorris: NOO I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING A NICE GIFT ???

maxverstappen1: oh it's definitely a gift for somone...

landonorris: i deadass won't come to the paddock

yourusername: you'll win it soon lands - just wait for max to retire so i can support you wholeheartedly

landonorris: why not now :((((

yourusername: don't worry babe he's old he'll retire in no time

landonorris: yay 🥳 🙌 😀

maxverstappen1: excuse me?

landonorris: is four championships and y/n not enough?

maxverstappen1: no!

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,302,558 others

tagged: yourusername & landonorris

maxverstappen1: not just because i want another trophy, but i'll pick up my best secret santa award now thanks

view all comments

user25: he didn't ???

user26: i think he did

user27: is that not like prostitution?

maxverstappen1: i don't think giving lando a chance to embarrass himself on a date is prostitution

user28: do you have any faith in him?

maxverstappen1: in him? no. but does y/n also have horrible standards and is easily impressed? yes.

alexalbon: he folded so quickly i hope they got it all on camera

oscarpiastri: that was so humiliating it might have to go on a more x rated website

landonorris: OSCAR????

oscarpiastri: it was harrowing mate but she seemed to like it so go you?

carlossainz55: that was a crazy reaction for it to just be y/n

maxverstappen1: i think you're trying to be funny but it might JUST be a skill issue

landonorris: JUST Y/N? KILL YOURSELF

carlossainz55: woah where is the christmas cheer?

landonorris: i will run you over with my sleigh

landonorris: THIS IS THE BEST GIFT ANYONE HAS EVER GOTTEN ME PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

user29: bro is so down bad that he just took carlando out back and shot them

user30: bro is so lost in the sauce that he is threatening a festive hit and run

yourusername: okay max we can stop pretending that i wasn't also begging you to set me up with lando

maxverstappen1: but it's so funny watching him make a fool of himself

landonorris: HUH???

yourusername: newsflash baby, i'm just as in love with you as you are with me

landonorris: AHHHHHHHHH <333333333

landonorris: i'm sorry i'll get back to being in love with you one sec

landonorris: @alexalbon @georgerussell63 @oscarpiastri @carlossainz55 SUCK ON THAT

landonorris: okay i love you y/n :3

yourusername: i love you too you crazy boy

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,430,973 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: christmas wishes do come true!

view all comments

user34: so how long do you think he's had that shirt in preparation?

landonorris: 18 months at least - i have faith in myself even if the others didn't

user35: i can't tell if that's creepy or?

landonorris: IT'S ROMANTIC

yourusername: kiss me it's christmas!

landonorris: only because it's christmas?

yourusername: i guess i can give you a couple more passes...

landonorris: not to be dramatic but now i know what it feels like i might die without it

yourusername: not dramatic at all !!!

maxverstappen1: it is kinda dramatic ...

yourusername: SHUSH!

maxverstappen1: i knew you were mushy about this (your diary reads like a very badly written romance book) but good lord this is awful THESE ARE PUBLIC COMMENTS

yourusername: I FUCKING KNEW YOU READ MY DIARY

maxverstappen1: duh! how else did you think this little scheme came to be?

yourusername: ugh i guess

user36: so like where do i get an f1 driver bestfriend who will invade my privacy to get me a bf?

user37: might just start throwing my diary in the paddock at this point

alexalbon: ur so pathetic i love you

yourusername: excuse me old man

alexalbon: old? OLD?

yourusername: i don't care to google you but i've seen you try and read a menu and scan a QR code so stop declaring your love for my boyf or i will keep going

landonorris: she's so possessive 😩😩😩

yourusername: i ate too many grapes on new year's eve to not get and keep my man

alexalbon: trust me, no one wants ur man

yourusername: tell that to the teenage girls in my DMs

user38: it's a pleasant surprise to see that y/n is just as down bad as lando

user39: match made in heaven ... this MIGHT make me a max verstappen fan

user40: i fear this will be an f1 custody battle for the ages

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 78,209 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: my only wish this year was to finally get you <3

view all comments

user41: i already liked this queen but a queen who loves britney spears christmas... that's mother

user42: one of these most underrated christmas songs ever

oscarpiastri: ... some people have even witnessed her live rendition of it

yourusername: don't sound too excited about it then

oscarpiastri: i appreciated the enthusiasm but like i feel like it was a PRIVATE moment ... not for the whole of the garage to see

landonorris: someone is missing lily ....

user43: i am trying to be joyful as per the holiday season but i am absolutely seething with jealousy

user44: hey siri play that should be me

yourusername: nope sorry never gonna happen :P

user45: okay girl you've made your point no need to rub it in our faces

yourusername: actually i think i will! my bf is pretty why wouldn't i show that off ?

user46: yall can hate her for this but realistically this is how we'd all be if we pulled lando

landonorris: you guys acting as if i'm the catch when it's literally her...

user47: do we think santa's elves can make me a lando norris? REAL ANSWERS ONLY ...

maxverstappen1: WOW you wouldn't think this was a double date trip ...

yourusername: you can't complain about BOTH of us pining and then be annoyed about us being lovey dovey

maxverstappen1: i can and i WILL

landonorris: you know what max you can complain all you want because this has been the BEST secret santa ever

maxverstappen1: so you won't call me a dirty driver next season?

landonorris: eh?

yourusername: make no mistake lando, i may love you but my loyalties on track remain with max

landonorris: as long as you're still coming home with me i guess i'll deal with it

yourusername: luv u xxxx

landonorris: i love you tooooo xxx

user48: is y/n going to do more for the on track tension than the literal fia?

yourusername: always gotta be a woman sorting everything out

user50: babe i think max is just afraid of you and lando is so in love he'll do anything for you

yourusername: AS THEY SHOULD BE

fin.

note: and on the first day of christmas aston martini gave to me a smau that undos all of our max vs lando tension from the season !! thought i'd treat yall to the first day early <33

[sunsburns]

i have a thought, and it might be silly, but i have always wondered what a little bit of ‘innocent’ gunplay would be like with wade wilson. (18+)

he doesn’t seem like the type to be opposed to it if you asked, he might look at your a little funny at first, and make a joke or two, but once he notices the sincerity in your tone, his eyes light up like a fucking christmas tree. he's already running to your shared closet, skipping and pulling out his gold-plated fifty-calibre desert eagle pistol arrows (yes, the ones he stole from nicepool).

wade kisses you like it’s the first time all over again, a little nervous around the edges, but he looms over you with enough confidence which makes you moan into his mouth.

“oh, fuck, baby, this is the nastiest thing i’ve ever seen,”he huffs out between a laugh and a groan, holding the handle of the gun near his crotch while slowly pushing the barrel near your inviting mouth. your tongue peaks out, sticking the tip of it into the muzzle and wade enthusiastically moans. “so dirty, oh my god. we’re gonna have to get you checked for lead poisoning.”

you pull away, a playful roll to your eyes with a tinge of annoyance, “wade-“

he snorts, “sorry, i’m just a chatty bitch tonight, huh? i still can’t believe this is happening,” he pats your cheek lovingly, slowly easing you back to his gun, watching your lips part wider and take as much of it in as you can. “go on, hotstuff. suck it like you mean it.”

and you do, eyes fluttering shut as you run your tongue along the bottom of the barrel, letting the muzzle scratch at your throat. you sputter when wade pushes your head in before pulling you back, watching your spit dribble and drip, the gold sparkling under the dim lighting of the lamp next to you.

you can feel the way your panties grow damp, spot the way his dick twitches in his sweats that are resting far too low on his hips. and with the way wade is smiling at you, a little breathless, far too silent, you can’t help but grab the collar of his shirt, pulling him into a deep, hot, and messy kiss, where your teeth clash and your tongues explore each other.

wade pushes you down on the bed, running his free hand over your skin before it settles by your jaw. his other hand trails the barrel of the gun up your inner thigh, a delighted giggle escaping him when you moan and arch your hips when he presses the weapon against your clothes pussy. “you like that, huh? shit, i wish you would've told me about this kink of yours sooner. would’ve fucked you with my gun a long time ago-“

“wade.”

“right. sorry, i’m just so horny right now. you’re better than porn at this point. so sexy. i haven’t been this hard since puberty.”

[takes1]

aaa HI OMG!!!i love ur writing . i ate UP that kuroo x hard-to-get!reader.

i have a req; could youuu… write kuroken x reader nsfw? >< u can choose the gender, established relationship, reader is sooo neeedy, kuroo/kenma both please them together and continuously praise them for taking it all so well…

>_o whatever the answer may be to this,THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!!!!!

p.1 kenma sharing you with kuroo

hi babes!! love this idea and it came at a good time too. this is a soft continuation of the needy!kenma fic

warnings. heavy nsfw, minors DNI

details. fem!reader / third!kuroo / established relationship / kuroo being so horny for you and kenma / crushing on kuroo / kuroo being rough / adult conversations / angsty smut / porn with plot / heavy petting / ass grabbing / getting walked in on / praise kink!reader / kenma being a great partner / 2.4k words / hopefully just a two-parter / pls reply to be added for next part!

links. my masterlist. more haikyuu. my ao3. part two here. final part.

"Ohh-Hooo-h shit-!"

Kuroo stuttered, eyes briefly getting their fill of that pretty body perched atop his best friend- who was- god damn- far more hung than he would've guessed.

Kenma raised his voice, half-sitting up to help cover you, with an incredulous, "Dude!"

That's right- he forgot that he was just standing there, mouth open under his palm. He was checking out the way you covered your tits with one arm, and attempting to cover your boyfriend with your free hand.

His surprise morphed into a guttural laugh at his honest mistake. He slammed the door closed behind him.

You could both hear a cackling that seemed like it was generated from the walls themselves.

"You okay?"

Kenma's hand cupped your face, cooling your warm skin down. It took you back to what had been a very intimate moment.

The sudden interruption, though nerve-wracking, didn't turn you entirely off like you thought it might. You leaned into his touch, a bit of worry on your brow, but didn't demand any extra coddling.

"I'm- I'm oka-y," You kissed his palm with a shaky sigh.

It didn't need to be a spoken thing; Kenma threw some sweatpants on, careful to keep an eye on you to ensure that was the truth, and slipped out to deal with Kuroo.

Kenma held his aggravation in a more grumpy, rather than wrathful, way. Where most guys would have flown off the rails, maybe keen to pick a fight with him, Kenma shut the door softly. He kept his tone even.

The taller of the two knew it was serious when he kept steady eye contact. That didn't necessarily mean he would suddenly stop finding the situation funny, but he respected -or, at least tolerated- the idea of privacy and 'territory.'

"Why are you here?" He mumbled, accusatory.

Kuroo raised his hands with a shrug, then let them flop to his sides in a defensive motion, "I was checking on you! It sounded like you were having a heart attack over the mic,"

"-I had no idea you were..."

His looked right through him, trailing over your lingering form in the door. He bit back a smirk.

It was such a prestigious opportunity at his fingertips. If he played his cards just right.

Kenma followed his eyeline to you, clad in his shirt that barely touched your thighs if you stood up straight. Good thing you were leaning on the frame, pulling a little on the hem, waiting for him to come back. His groin ached with the need to cut this short.

His voice lowered at your presence, "-Having so much fun."

The suggestive tone, worsened by the filthy expression that always made him look somewhat guilty, had you both warm at the topic.

"Well, thank you-," You were little raspy from what you had been doing, and moved forward to put a supportive arm around Kenma's waist, slowly pulling him back towards the bedroom, a little 'Let's Speed This Up.'

"For- um, checking on him."

Your partner couldn't help but smile, a soft and distracted look on his face as he turned to press a kiss to your cheek.

Physical touch, PDA, all wasn't a big deal to Kenma. It was how he loved, both with you and his friends. Kuroo had been an enthusiastic witness to some pretty raunchy stuff, over time.

Even a blind man could see that you two were checked out of this conversation already. You moved back into the bedroom, that shirt simply not enough fabric to cover your ass.

Before you could tell Kuroo 'Thank you,' one more time, he put a hand against the door.

He wedged half of his body in, like he was trying to squeeze into an already crowded elevator. You stayed standing just a little behind Kenma- not because you were threatened, but mostly because you didn't want to get in the way of their conversation. It felt like this should stay between two long-term friends. To make matters worse, the way you felt about Kuroo was confusing, and you weren't ready to dissect it yet.

"Ah-haha, you know," He laughed at himself, unable to find the right thing to say for the first time in a while, "I- I...I joke about it a lot-- but,"

He cleared his throat, mostly looking to see if Kenma was going to stop him, in the midst of what you all knew he was going to say.

"If you're looking to... 'spice things up,'" His nervousness was secondary to that cocky smirk across his jaw, "I know a guy who's available right now."

The 'You need a third?' joke was replayed so much that you and Kenma had grown desensitized to it. Now, it was catching up to you. You wished you had talked about it, sooner.

Satisfied with leaving Kenma to speak, you looked away, but realized all your toys were still out. The sight made you squirm, hoping Kuroo had not noticed (he did), and when you looked up- they were both staring at you.

"What?" Was so quiet that it was barely a word- so you swallowed and gave a panicked look to Kenma, whom you trusted, and figured would handle this in a conventional 'No, thank you' way-, "Why are you--?"

He wasn't so confident, especially not as sure as you'd have preferred, "I mean... It- doesn't sound too bad."

It felt like a test.

"Sweet," Kuroo laughed and stepped further inside- the only one able to be so lighthearted, with no difficult questions to consider.

"Wait-wait, wait, are you--," You were trying to decipher Kenma's passive demeanor here, "Are you serious? He's your friend."

Kenma nodded slowly, eyes closed, "I know."

He sighed, and made sure to be gentle with the way he worded this and the way he delivered it. It still felt like a knife to the stomach when he turned to you, took your hands, and said:

"But, I know you like him."

Heart racing, you looked both guilty and upset, and though you tried not to look at Kuroo, you couldn't help it. He was standing still, arms crossed, with one hand covering his mouth in concentration at the scene playing out before him.

"Hey," Kenma brought your attention back to him, "Hey, I'm not upset about it- look at me, baby."

You had to sit down. How could he know that, when you didn't- at least not yet? That wasn't what you had deemed it to be. In the midst of your conversation, Kuroo quietly slipped out of the room once more to give you both some emotional space. He did not mean for it to get that serious.

You were so faint that it was difficult to hear you, even standing right in front of you. He held your face in his hands and attempted to rub your stress away.

"I wouldn't say that, exactly--," You took a shaky breath in, and tried to find the right way to word it, "I think he's- attractive, I guess, but you know I love you. You're mine."

Kenma kissed your forehead a few times, relatively unbothered, "I know. And- I love you too. A lot."

You both smiled at one another and found comfort there.

"I'm just saying... It's okay to like him, too." He was the only one who could eye contact. The concept of it bothered you, but you liked the way you were being acknowledged, and validated.

"I promise."

His thumb brushed your cheek, and he caught another pretty, but still repentant, smile.

"It doesn't bother me," He asserted one more time for good measure, and let his lips fall onto yours.

It was warm, and kind, and soft- an 'I love you, no matter what,' in physical form.

His hands shifted, gentle and slow, up into your hair, his tongue swiped across your bottom lip before sucking on it, just to close out the kiss.

"We-," You lost your breath, so you took a moment to catch it, as he straightened back up, "Um- we don't have to, if you don't want to."

Five feet away, Kuroo was silently punching the air, absolutely geeking over the possibility that after all of that, there was still a chance he wouldn't get to fuck.

Kenma wiped his mouth of the trail of spit you hadn't caught in time, a little raise on his brow.

"I just wanna try this out."

He sounded so sure. Like he was only waiting to check that you were game, first. Where was the hesitation for him? Was this something he had already worked through, on his own time?

You watched him adjust, then rub a hand on the back of his neck.

He called to Kuroo.

His head peeked through the door, "Are you guys- uh, all good, ooor?"

Kenma opened the door wide for him. Their body language was just a little off. You couldn't tell exactly how, other than the energy between them as they looked each other over. It certainly wasn't aggression, like it had been before your conversation.

Kuroo stepped inside, rubbing his palms together, a big grin on his face.

"Good to see that you made the right choice."

Two big, rough hands had you by the middle so easily, so casually, that it startled you out of your wits. The instant reaction was to shut him down like you usually did. You pushed on his forearms with an awkward laugh.

He kept you plastered to his front after a small struggle, hand guiding your chin. Having to look up was new.

"Wooah- I know your little boyfriend just said you were into me-," His lids were low, and his grip was so strong that it made you weak in the legs, "So don't act all shy."

Kuroo was only single because he couldn't keep his attention limited to just one person. There had been countless times in the past year of dating Kenma that his girl trouble was the talk of the school; so-and-so was upset with what's-her-name because she was distracting Kuroo in class. Or, he was being too touchy with his girl-best-friend while trying to juggle two others in secret.

It was a good reminder that too much attention could spoil an otherwise great, fun-loving, guy.

In your attempt to look away towards Kenma- sweet, familiar Kenma, you finally felt his comforting presence behind you.

"Well," His hands trailed over your hips, eyes downcast at the way your ass was poorly hidden in his shirt. He hiked it up, a warm palm squeezing the fatty muscle there-- you couldn't help but slip your arms around Kuroo, hiding your warm, embarrassed face in his shirt.

"She's normally pretty shy."

You felt the bass in Kuroo's chuckle resonate through your chest, and remembered how surprised you were a year ago to hear him speak. He had a voice that always felt a little too deep.

A hand massaged through your already messy hair, grounding you.

His interested, "Oh, yeah?" made you clutch his muscular back.

Kuroo watched from over your head, fisting more of that shirt up to your mid back, as Kenma pressed his clothed hard-on between your supple flesh.

It felt exhilarating, both having somebody to hold onto and a dirty observer to all your bedroom activities. Kuroo's cock was already firm, trapped under his clothes, against your tummy. That didn't stop him from grinding into whatever he could.

The height difference would seriously take some adjustment. You and Kenma could fuck standing up-- you would need a step-stool for his bigger friend.

You gasped at his another hand gripping your ass, harder, sharper than you were used to. Kenma felt so good, even confined, grinding against your folds.

"Mn-!" Was muffled into Kuroo's t-shirt.

It should've been no surprise that he fisted a handful of your hair to make you look at him again.

You shut your eyes, resisting his hold, because you couldn't stand to look at him in this context. It was too new.

Instead of letting you go, he gripped you harder, eliciting a short, "A-ah!"

He took advantage of that, too, and tried to steal the kiss that he felt owed. But you turned your head at the last second and made it into a sloppy, unfinished cheek kiss. The remnants of which remained smeared across your warm cheek.

A defeated, audibly frustrated sigh-- he lost his grip on you, and in the process, you pushed him away.

Kenma pulled you close and out of Kuroo's arms. Onto his own chest, instead.

"The fuck?" Was a pitiful groan, and a look that you were embarrassed to receive, from Kuroo. He palmed himself freely, but stared at you like you broke some sacred pinky promise.

He ran a hand through his hair, stressed, and motioned to Kenma, "I thought you said she was into me. This- this isn't 'into' me. This is- is- like, fuckin' scared of me."

"She is into you-," His grip was soft, and nice, and though firm, it was still reassuring under your shirt.

Kenma laughed, thinking, as he kissed the side of your head. You still couldn't bring yourself to look at Kuroo, but you still found the strong desire to show off in front of him.

"Man, you're just--," He sighed, about to finish his thought.

"Just what?" Kuroo insisted, pissed off.

"You're too rough. Just... slow it... down."

Kuroo's hands rubbed down his face, brow working hard- he looked completely out of sorts, all frazzled and distressed.

An uneven tone, still worried as he tilted his head down, sideways, at you.

"O-kay, okay- yeah, I can..." He blew out a breath, "I can be... gentle."

As Kenma slowly peeled his shirt off of you- turning you around to face his best friend- revealing everything he ever wanted to see under that stupid uniform- his mind was made of stone.

He was not going to leave without touching you, tasting you. Kuroo lost a bit of feeling in his legs; he swallowed, dry, and nodded like a dumbass, over and over again.

"Yeah...Yea-h, I can slow it down for ya," He mumbled, mostly in an attempt to hype himself up. He pulled his shirt off by the back and closed the distance, with a different approach this time.

☆VIP☆

@integers @paradoxicalwritings @yuchacco

my masterlist. more haikyuu.

[cvnt4him]

hii it's meee :3 another izu req

reader plays a prank on her friend izuku, it ultimately goes wrong and they somehow end up trapped inside a closed space. Together. Alone. Tight room. Tension. Heat. Mwah

ah, another ask from the great mind of @lovelykil

I would be more than happy to fulfill this for you<33🎗️

Stuck Inside..

...........................................

God you loved your friend group, how chaotic, dumb, and funny they were, they always made you and mina feel like queens those boys did.

Bakugou, kirishima, denki and sero, they knew how to have fun they sure did, playing pranks on people, having movie nights that only inner circle people are invited to, it was ultimate fun.

But they had an initiation, to officially be invited to the 'bakusquad' not the name you would've gone with but whatever, you had to successfully prank someone in the dekusquad for 5 days and not get caught, see when sero told you this at the lunch table, bakugou and denki smirking while kirishima and mina looked at each other with such worried looks, you were already down, who didn't love a good prank on their peers?

Mina sighed and looked at you with a scared look like she had something to tell you, she tried too, opening her mouth before shutting it at the sight of bakugou staring daggers into her. You wanted to know why they were being so secretive but you didn't want them to not trust you, so you simply kept your mouth shut and listened to sero go on about the tradition.

"so all I have to do is prank someone? Easy."

You say rolling your eyes and clapping your hands together.

"don't forget, you can't get caught, so do whatever it takes, even frame someone else, to get away." Sero emphasizes heavily to you.

"too easy. Now, who shall be my victim.~" you scoff, then rub your hands together scoping out your prey.

"deku."

You hear a slightly rasped, deep voice chime in.

"oh? How come?" You question the still smirking blonde as he glared at you with deep volcanic red eyes.

"do the prank.. or don't. You're the one who wants to be with us, and those are the rules, either do the prank or dip. Either or."

Bakugou barks at you with a shit eating grin, leaning back against the window as he puts his hands behind his head laying on them.

You look around the cafeteria to search for the green haired boy, spotting him smiling and laughing with his friend group. His emerald green eyes shining so bright in the sun, his pearly white smile blinding you, he really was such a bright star, you were just afraid this prank might burn him out, although you really wanted to be apart of their clique, were you really gonna prank an innocent angel who's never done anything wrong to you, just so you can have a designated seat at the 'cool kids' table?

You inhale through your nose and exhale heavily out through your mouth.

"fuck it, I'm in. Any specific prank in mind?"

Yes, yes you were.

Your answer caused bakugou to smile widely at you, the rest of the boys doing so as well as they all snicker and snort quietly, again besides mina and kirishima who just sighed and accepted what was to come there truly was nothing they could do.

"shit man.. that might just make him cry, are you sure?"

You question after hearing the prank they wanted you to do.

"hey, your call, if you don't wanna do this, don't. We aren't forcing you of course these are all your choices, just make sure this is what you really want to do and be prepared to go down if you get caught."

The way denki worded his sentence made you feel something deep inside, guilt? No.. regret? Can't be, you hadn't done anything yet. So what was it?

You sigh, really thinking this through, hell you really felt something inside but you couldn't quite put a finger on it..

"yeah.. oh.. okay, I'll do it."

You agree before shrugging off everything and bringing your gaze back into everyone at the table, smiles still plastered on their faces as you see katsuki and denki fist bump.

That should've been red flag number one.

A couple days later you set your prank into motion, on Monday you started out tame, stealing little things he would need, whether it be his pencil, notebook, doesn't matter, if you could get your hands on it you did.

When izuku realized his notebook was missing, he freaked out looking around with a nervous face, not wanting to interrupt anyone or bother them with his silly needs, you kinda felt bad, but you couldn't let emotions get In the way of becoming an official member of the squad.

You sucked it up and waited for the next day.

As Tuesday hit your pranks slowly progressed into getting worse, you had started leaving mean notes in his locker, his desk, even his bad, they'd say just random hurtful shit, whether that be about his freckles or his scars, things you thought he'd brush off. But boy were you wrong, seeing his spirit shatter as he read each and every note really left a bad taste in your mouth, hell you thought you saw years prickling at the edge of his eyes.

You again, brushed it off and waited for the next day.

Wednesday, you decided to kinda bully him, well not really, just nudge him into the locker when you walked by, or kicking the pit of his knees making them buckle, small things like that.

He felt so humiliated when he nearly tripped because of you, everyone staring at him as you glance at him with doe like eyes and bat your lashes at him.

"are you okay?"

He looked at you with glossy eyes and sniffed before nodding violently and rushing out of the class, you sighed and grabbed you bag leaving too as it was the end of the day, god you hated this but you were almost through, just 3 more days and your free.

As thursday rolled in you sucked up everything in you and, mentally prepared yourself for the next prank, you decided to go off script and do little tame things, take a bite from aoyamas book and leave more little notes in his room, it scared him by the looks of him, you hadn't felt too bad for this one as you and already progressed from the little notes in day 2 of your pranks, just one more day, one more prank and then your free, however this prank was the worst and all if the bakusquad was gonna be present.

You had to make sure you didn't let your emotions get in the way so you mentally prepared yourself the night before.

Finally Friday rolled around, most Fridays are spent training so with that being said you need to change into your hero suit in the locker rooms, deku is always the last one to shower after training and putting away his hero suit, out of respect for his friends, at least that's what the boys told you,

You sigh readying yourself to go in there and take his clothes as they would lock the door making sure he couldn't get out unless he broke the door, then eventually coming back for him in the morning if he hadn't.

God you were terrified, the prep the night before hadn't helped at all, you were literally shaking in your boots. You sighed as you see all of the boys leave the shower room as mina and you waited outside for them to give you a signal.

When bakugou gave you a nod, with a wide smirk on his face you sighed and ran in, the door opening and shutting loudly catching izukus attention whilst he showered, he brushed it off as one of the guys coming in and stated in the shower, you walked to the bench next to the showers making sure he couldn't see you, you grabbed his clothes and ran as fast as you could, once you made it out you held his clothes breathing heavily with a smile on your face as you struggle to catch your breath, your heart beating so fast from the adrenaline.

"I.. I got it!"

You saved it around showing the boys and mina, a smile never making it onto her face, her knowing what's coming next she shuts her eyes and mouths and apology, you look at her as sero, kirishima, and bakugou give you your praise, you were so confused and focused on what she meant by it you hadn't even seen denki slip behind you and quietly open the door, mina quickly pushed you inside and bakugou locked the door with the key, everyone laughing loudly as you fall into the floor with a grunt, kirishima had snatched dekus clothes from you before mina pushed you in, you bang on the door and hokd back tears.

"hey! Let.. let me out! Mina, how fucking could you!.."

All you could hear was laughs as they suddenly faded away, their shadows disappearing as well, as another comes from behind you, you'd seen the shadow on the door as you quickly turn around with a gaso as izuku held a towel around his waist trying to assure you were alright.

You look down before looking back up and looking away.

It was awkward, silent, and he looked so fucking hot, and he probably guessed you were the one that had taken his clothes.

"...hey, you uhm.. wouldn't happen to know where my clothes... are?..."

He spoke quietly, and with a somewhat leveled voice not wanting to scare you off not that you could go anywhere.

You sigh before groaning in anger and frustration as you slap your hands to your face and slide down the door.

" I'm sorry... for taking your clothes and giving it to them, for bullying you and leaving mean notes and taking your things and--"

"that... Those.. things were you?..."

He asked in a confused tone, his brows furrowed, as he looked at the ground before slowly looking up to look at you, his eyes shaking, searching your face for an answer that you didn't want to provide.

You hadn't wanted to speak so you simply nodded, sighing as you bang your head back on the door, causing izuku to jump and rush down to you.

"hey, don't do that you could hurt yourself..."

For fucks sakes, you just admitted to doing these horrible things to him and passing them off as a 'prank' and he's still checking on toyou?

The way he looked down at you, his hand on the back of your head making sure you weren't hurt, his fingers rubbed the area soothingly, making your head lean back into his hand.

The two of you were just looking at each other, eyes staring into the others as your faces moved closer, before you knew his it, his breath fanned you face, the smell of mint coming off of it, he liked to chew gum to keep his jawline nice, god he looked so good like this, water droplets from the shower running down his body and wet hair.

The hand that was on your head moved to your cheek, rubbing his thumb over it as he brought you close, your noses brushed against each other's slightly, it was so quiet you could practically hear his heart pounding out of his chest, his breaths slowly turning more heavy as he looked down to your lips, licking his that were parted and nibbling lightly on his lower one.

"can I kiss you...please?"

His voice coming off more desperate and whimper-y than he meant.

You were tired of talking, tired of thinking, all you wanted to do was push your feelings from the betrayal you just went through down, and what better way to do that than fuck the person you'd been torturing for 5 days?

You pulled him into a deep kiss, groaning inside of it, your teeth clashed together and you pulled him by his shoulders, making him out his knees on either side of your thighs, his towel threatening to come off, you let him trail the kiss off into your neck as he gently kissed, licked, and nipped at it, little noises coming from him as he did so.

You sighed breathily, your eyes accidentally trailed down his lower abdomen, staring at his well toned abs and the v line going down, god that was so sexy to you, as your eyes kept trailing down you seen how his towel was even managing to somewhat stay up, his cock was fully erect and bobbing against the towel, that was the reason he was making whimper like noises.

He started bucking into the towel making your eyes widen slightly at the sight, a little damp patch forming in the thick towel, had he cum or something? You thought to yourself as he full blown moaned into your ear, was he really gaining that much pleasure from grinding his hard on against a rough towel?

You looked up to him as he looked down at you with a red face, his heart was racing as he looked down at his aching cock then back to you, you connected the dots and guessed he was asking you to touch him.

Without thinking about it, your hands trailed up his abs, then down again as you trickle your fingers over his wrapped cock, you felt his cock twitch underneath your light touches as a breathy sigh leaves his opened mouth, his eyes slightly rolling back, there was no way he was getting this much pleasure from this.

You scoffed and gripped his cock tightly, making his body jolt and a stuttery 'oh' leave his mouth as he looked down at you, grabbed you by your cheeks and pulled you into a heated kiss, he bucked his hips into your hand and he moaned and whined into the kiss, it being hard to stay in it due to him humping into your hand frantically like a bunny during mating season or some shit.

Your teeth clashed against each others once more as he shoved his tongue in your mouth, flicking his against yours, swapping spit and groaning into your mouth as you swallowed all his messy little noises that dropped from his mouth like spit.

He grabbed your other hand and pulled it up to his throat and wrapped it around his neck, you just kept your hand right there not applying any force letting him control it as he kept jerking his hips into your tightly gripped hand, he closed his hand around yours that was also around his neck.

Aww, was this his little attempt at getting you to choke him? I suppose his wish is your command.

You choke him harshly making his eyes roll back as he bit his lip harshly, moans being muffled by it, he bucked his hips a few more times before blowing his load into the towel, his cum seeping through the fabric and dripping onto your wrist and your pants, there was just so much you thought he was never gonna stop.

His hips kept lightly twitching up into the towel causing him to bend forward and moan into your ear due to the over stimulation, god his pitchy moans were so hot.

His hot breath still fanned your ear before he finally said something his voice a little groggy.

"please let me... let me eat you.. I want to taste you, please...?"

His sentence ended with a whimper in your ear as he moved his forehead to lean against yours.

"okay."

Was all you could get out before he pulled down your shorts in a flash, your panties coming off with them, he instantly hurriedly his face in-between your partially opened thighs, his tongue licking and prodding against your lower lips, not pushing his tongue fully inside, he licked a tongue stripe up and down your slit, a moan leaving your lips, you didn't fight anything and just let him work his magic, and bit was he magical with his tongue.

He finally stopped teasing and pushing his pink muscle inside, quickly lapping at your hole and lightly licking you clit in fast motions, he continued this for a while, and by a while I mean about 15 minutes, you were so close to cumming a couple of times but every time he sensed you were about to come he pulled away and pet your slit gently with his thumb, occasionally circling your clit slowly, agonizingly slow.

"wh..- why do you keep testing me like this.."

You groaned and looked down at him with glossed eyes, you didn't expect him to look at you with such a piercing gaze, his lidded emerald eyes staring painful daggers at you as he shoved two of his thick fingers inside of you without warning.

Your back arched and the pain mixed pleasures hips grinding down into his fingers as he finger fucked you, his fingers plunged in and out of you at a insanely fast pace, tears started prickling at the corner of your eyes, you were so close once again before he scoffed and pulled away with a smirk.

"do you really think you deserve to cum after how you've treated me all week? No, you're going to suffer like you made me."

His fingers arched up into you and plunged in and out of you at an erratic pace for about 5 more minutes, he just kept going and stopping not letting you cum.

"you wanna cum, love? Beg. Beg for me to let me cum, slut."

You were sobbing, tears streaming down your puffy red cheeks, hiccups and spit leaving your mouth as a string of incoherent begs left your mouth, you were pleasing helplessly for the orgasms you needed.

He sighed with a smile, squinted emerald eyes peering down at you in an evil, yet satisfied way. He loved how dumb you were from being finger fucked like this, god he could only imagine how brain dead you'd be if he fucked you in his cock.

He didn't say a word as he simply picked up up with ease, man handling you like a ragdoll, and switched your positions, you were now straddling his lap, due to you not expecting him to pick you up so quickly you leaned against his body, your tears falling onto his shoulder as he rubbed your back soothingly, hushing you while kissing the top of your head.

"it's okay, baby, you did so well for me. I'll give you what you need now, okay?"

You gulp hardly, you can hardly even get words out as you're still hiccuping from crying, before you can fully process what he says he undoes his towel that was previously wrapped around his waist and slammed his cock inside of you, you winced at the stretch and the brutal pace he'd already set.

You groan loudly as your eyes roll back, your head falling onto his shoulder as you can barely get out little 'fuck's and 'please's.

He hadn't let up, his hips hammering up into you, you were grinding down into him causing a breathy moan to leave him, a smile made it's way back onto his face as he kissed your head once more.

"you're doing.. so well, my love, it's okay I'll make you cum."

The way he whispered lovingly in your ear made this experience for you so much better for you, you had tightened around him, feeling that familiar feeling, you were going to cum, finally you were going to get to feel that release that you needed, tears continuously fell from your face as you moaned loudly, picking your head up from the crook of his neck to gripping his broad shoulders for stability as you begin grinding into him, feeling so close you hadn't wanted him to rip it away from you again.

He was shocked by the control you ended up taking, he didn't stop thrusting into you, although due to you grinding the rhythm he had set had been thrown off track, your hips hit against each other in an uneven fashion, but you couldn't possibly begin to care when you were finally going to cum.

Izuku grabbed at you hips, holding them tightly to stop you from moving, you tried to continue moving despite his painful grip on your waist, he was far too strong for you to even remotely gain he upper hand, you let him win as he sped up the jerking and jolting of his hips, the clapping sound of your ass meeting his pelvis echoing throughout the locker room.

There was one thrust that hit so vigorously against that sweet spot inside you, everything in you fell apart, you inhaled sharply, eyes rolling back as you grip and scratch as his shoulders harshly leaving a mark and probabkt even drawing blood, he grkaned byt never ceased his hips from stopping, your velvety walls convulsed around his so sweetly it caused his hips to buck into you at a frantic and frenzied pace, his hios stuttering into you as his breath hitched, he squeezed his eyed shut tightly, trying to hold out just a little longer to feel your warn and soft walls tighten around him, alas he simply couldn't, he thrusted one last time before spilling his seed deep inside of you, the warmth of his thick sticky cum warming you entirely, a shiver going up your spine as he lets his head lean into your neck, sighing deeply in the crook.

Your head ended up on top of his, coming your fingers through his damp curls, he sighed in content enjoying the satisfying feeling of your fingers raking and scratching his scalp, you wanted to say so much but also just sit in the moment, it was silent, but it was a comfortable one that you hadn't wanted to ruin with words.

"why did you forgive me so easily."

You say in a groggy and slightly raised voice, you moaned so loudly and cried so hard you had slightly started to lose your voice, izuku simply hummed, enjoying the vibration of your chest as you spoke and the nice feeling of still being inside of your warm messy insides.

"well, I suppose I haven't exactly forgiven you yet, but I'm not going to stop being your friend because of what happened."

"seriously? This shit is fucked up, we're locked in here, with no way to get out, and you don't have any clothes you could get sick. Or worse. Die."

He simply chuckled, making you angry, you were worried and all he could do was laugh at you.

"what?"

"y/n I can't get common sicknesses anymore, I don't know what OFA has done to my immune system but I can't catch things like the flu, or a cold, or anything like that, so I assure you, I won't get sick and I won't die, but thank you for worrying about me."

He chided, informing you factually like you could have possibly known that. you sigh and nuzzle your cold nose back into his damp hair, you sniffed causing him to slightly tense and move back to look at your face.

"are you alright, y/n?"

The way he looked at you with those vibrant emerald eyes, so wide and loving, his cheeks still slightly tinted a light shade of red as his freckles are littered all over his baby like face, you smile and put your forehead to his, closing your eyes making him do the same and sigh.

"I'm okay, but we seriously need to figure out how to get the hell out of here." You say softly, clearing your throat from the scratchiness you could feel, were you getting sick?

"there's a back door that I'm sure they didn't lock. We can skip out though there, do you have your phone on you?"

"oh! Yeah, wh-... fuck me. This whole time I could have called someone to get us out of here." You groan, absolutely disappointed in yourself for not using your shitty brain.

He simply giggles before grabbing your now unlocked phone.

"you must've really wanted to have sex with me, eh?" He tested lightly poking fun at you making you slap his shoulder, another like if laughs leaving him as he calls iida, neither of you expected him to be awake yet he was, his breath was slightly ragged, what had he been doing, maybe out on a run? Doesn't add up too much, it's 10 pm and they have a curfew for 12 am.

Iida had helped you two out, meeting you two at the other exit and giving you clothes to give to izuku, he continuously asked questions on why the two of you weren't in bed and why izuku didn't have any clothes and why you two were even together.

The whole walk back to the dorms was full of iida whisper yelling at the two of you for being irresponsible, you couldn't stop looking at izukus face though, or just him in general, he suddenly became oddly appealing to you, but you still couldn't shake the guilty feeling of the things you and done to him, he glanced at you giving you a warm smile, kissing your head goodnight before turning into his room, taking iida by surprise.

You chuckled and went to your dorm, jumping in your bed and calming it a night, you sighed at the comfortable feeling of your bed, giggling to yourself remembering how izuku came inside of you. Your eyes slowly shut and you drifted off to sleep.

...........................................

AN; this shit is hot ass, but at least the smut is great, I might remake this w/o the pranking part, it was hard to think of a good prank to do for this fic, im kind of dumb so.. yeah. I hope you all enjoyed reading this<33

[kaiawrites]

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES (halloween fic)

lando norris x f!reader

word count: 1.8k

prompt(s): “You okay? Your face is red.” “Yeah, I mean, yes. Totally, it’s just the weather.” & "Oh my god, your room is so dirty. How do you live here?" "If you're so bothered by it, clean it up." "Fuck off. I'm not your servant." "You act like one." "I. Said. Fuck. Off."

warnings: slightly creepy guy calls the reader a wh*re, minor violence/blood (just a bar fight), the rest is pretty fluffy

a/n: posting my 'once in every 3 years' post, happy halloween for the lando girlies! I haven't proofread this, so sorry for any mistakes

"Have you seen my black T-shirt, I'm sure it was here. I swear I saw it here," you heard Lando’s voice call out from across your shared flat. 

"Oh, the one that looked like a rag? Yeah, I threw it away," you replied as you continued drying off your dishes.

“What!” you heard Lando shriek. "You little shit, come here!" You snickered as an angry, shirtless, Lando stormed into your kitchen.

“Clam down Norris, I didn’t touch any of your shit I have no idea where your goddamn T-shirt is,” you laughed at the Brit’s unamused face as you put away the last of the dishes. “Come on, I’ll help you look for it,” you said, though you did not expect what you found when you reached Lando’s room. Rarely did you ever come into each other’s room; so you hadn’t seen it’s inside it a while. Clothes were strewn about on every flat surface, cups and plates you’d been missing for weeks scattered about and his bedsheets practically on the floor. No wonder he couldn’t find his stupid t-shirt.

"Oh my god, your room is so messy. How do you live here?" you laughed, your roommate glowering further at you. Clearly, he did not find you as funny as you found yourself.

"If you're so bothered by it, clean it up."

"Fuck off. I'm not your servant." 

"Well, you act like one, darling," now a teasing smile curling his lips.

“Then you can find your shirt on your own, Norris,” you said, giving him a bitter smile before exiting his room. You knew damn well there was no way you would've been able to find anything in his mess of a room. Anyways, you had to start getting ready too, since you were soon to be on your way to a Halloween party. Your costume was quite simple, just a regular red mini-dress and some devil horns on a headband, so it didn’t take you very long once you’d gotten your makeup down. 

“Come on Norris we’re gonna be late!” You called out, checking your phone for the time. In truth, you were already late, but you were about to be later than was acceptable if Lando didn’t come down soon. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long. Unluckily, however, it seemed that Lando had gone absolutely insane and dumped a gallon of glitter on his skin.

“Is that your costume?” You asked. Lando looked down at himself and nodded proudly, glitter falling off at the movement. “I thought you were being a vampire..?”

“I am,” Lando replied, a permanent proud and shit-eating grin on his face. “You know, like the ones from Twilight.”

“You’re going to embarrass me,” you said in exasperation.

“I know, that’s the point, love,” Lando replied smugly. “Let’s go now, you don’t want to be late, do you?” 

You rolled your eyes and followed him out.

———

Lando watched from the bar as you stumbled off the dance floor and looked around, a bright, dazed smile tugging at your lips when you spotted him. Jesus christ you were beautiful. Not that you weren’t always beautiful, Lando knew you were, but there were moments where you seemed more than beautiful. Moments like this one, where you headed toward him, the glistening of your skin reflecting the club lights, looking at him expectantly as you awaited his answer.

“What?” Lando said, breaking out of his stupor and nearly blushing at how he’d completely missed your question. You laughed at his confusion, before leaning closer. Lando’s heart skipped a beat, and for an imperceptible moment, he thought you were going to kiss him. But of course, the moment passed as you leaned into his ear, repeating your unanswered question more clearly. 

“Why aren’t you having fun?” you asked smoothly, revealing a faux pout as you drew back. Lando let out a chuckle.

“I am having fun, love,” he replies.

“No, you’re standing here watching the rest of us have fun,” you replied, matter-of-factly. “Come oooonnn, Norris, come dance with me.” Lando stared into your puppy-dog eyes, ready to give in and come make a fool of himself on the dance floor for you, before he was cut off by an unknown, and unwelcome voice.

“Forget him, I’ll dance with you,” the voice said, its owner getting far too touchy with you for Lando’s liking.

“Uhm, no thank you,” you answered, all your previous mirth dissipating into discomfort.

“Come on babe, I promise, I’m fun,” the evidently drunk man repeated, 

“I’m alright, thanks,” you said, refusing once more. The man didn’t reply this time, instead choosing to grab your wrist in order to lead you toward the floor.

“She said no, mate,” Lando cut in dryly. The man turned toward Lando, anger simmering beneath his stare.

“Look, you can drop the act mate, I’ve seen her whoring around all night, I know that’s not your girl. She’s free game,” he slurred.

“What did you just call her?” Lando spat. The guy laughed at what Lando could only assume the man thought was an empty threat. However, Lando didn’t give him a chance to retaliate.

“Lando!” you exclaimed as both men went down. The next moments were a blur of fists and bloodied faces, until Lando was suddenly pulled off the man by a security guard. He turned to see you looking all at once scared, worried, relieved and angry. Lando looked back down at the drunk guy, and he couldn’t help the self-satisfied smirk at the state he’d left him in, even as the security guard escorted him out of the bar.

———

“Are you mad at me?” Lando broke the heavy silence as you walked into your flat. You sighed deeply, turning around to face him for the first time since you’d been kicked out of the bar. 

“Of course not, just… promise you won’t do anything like that ever again. I mean, I know you’re an idiot, but that was even more stupid than usual,” you joked, hoping to lighten the mood, but Lando still stared at you, uncharacteristically unreadable.

“I can’t promise that, I would do it again if I had to.”

You stared at him intently, searching for any sign of Lando’s usual playfulness, but you only found earnest eyes and a clenched jaw. You averted your gaze, not knowing what to do with this uncharacteristic behaviour. Instead, you turned toward the bathroom, hearing Lando’s shuffling feet as he trailed after you. Rummaging through a drawer, you pulled out a first aid kit and turned back toward Lando to find him almost comically standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Sit,” you said more harshly than you intended, gesturing toward the ledge of the bathtub. Lando heeded your command, silently taking a spot where you’d directed him. After wiping off the remainder of his face paint and glitter, you began by cleaning up the cut on Lando’s nose, soaking a towel with cold water and dabbing it at the cut. Lando flinched and hissed at the contact. 

“Don’t be a baby,” you chided with a chuckle, though there was no malice in it.

“I am not a baby,” Lando scoffed with a small smile. After cleaning and patching up the cut on his nose, you moved on to his split lip, hesitating a moment before bringing the towel to it. Lando’s breath hitched almost imperceptibly at the contact, but he didn’t wince this time. You focused on intently cleaning the wound, and once you were done, you set aside the towel. You turned back toward Lando to find his face tinged a bright red.

“Are you okay? Your face just got all red?” you inquired, looking him over for any sign of an injury you might have missed.

“Yeah, I mean, yes. Totally. It’s the, uhm, weather,” Lando replied, his voice breaking on the first word. You looked at him, deadpan.

“We’ve been inside for a solid ten minutes, Norris,” you stated.

“Well, y’know what I mean, it’s like, warm in here or something,” he rectified, his face somehow flushing further. A small smirk formed on your lips.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flustered, Norris,” you teased as you finished cleaning up the small cut.

“What? Flustered? By you?” He replied, his voice an octave higher and cadence a tad faster than usual, only proving your point further. You disposed of the gauze, turning back toward him and cupping his face in your hands. You smirked and raised an eyebrow at his widening eyes and ever-flushed face. “Okay, okay, maybe I am,” he admitted.

“And what are you gonna do about it?” You taunted him. Lando’s eyes searched your face for any sign of humour, but found only sincerity. With that, he leaned in, closing the remaining distance between the two of you. The kiss was slow and purposeful, free of any of the teasing which usually permeated all your interactions. This was something else, communicating a kind of sincerity your words could hardly convey.

“Thank you,” you added after parting from the kiss.

“What? For kissing you?” Lando answered with a chuckle. “‘Cause I can do it again.”

“For sticking up for me. It was dangerous and reckless and please don’t do it again. But thank you, still. I appreciate it.”

“Well, like I said, I would do it again. That fucker had it coming, messing with my girl.” He replied, brushing the pad of his thumb on your cheek.

“Your girl, huh?” You echoed teasingly.

“If she wants to be, that is?” Lando replied. You hummed, contemplating.

“If he takes me on a date, I might consider it,” you settled on, turning to exit the bathroom, though you didn’t miss Lando’s hushed, dragged out yes, and you giggled as you imagined him pumping his fist. He followed you out, and you both settled on the couch, seemingly in agreement to watch a movie. You tossed Lando the remote.

“Your turn to pick,” you said, as you had picked the movie last time. After a moment, Lando settled on a movie and pressed play. “A horror movie?” You inquired. “You’re terrified of those.”

“Am not!” Lando replied petulantly. 

“Yes, you are,” you laughed, doubling over as the first jumpscare of the movie made Lando jump in his place. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing you laugh, even if it was at his expense. In fact, he would gladly make an idiot out of himself every day if it meant making you laugh like that. And maybe Lando really was terrified of horror movies, but maybe he’d also purposely picked a horror movie so he’d have an excuse to his his face on your shoulder, and maybe, just maybe, you were glad he’d picked a horror movie because you too, wanted and excuse to keep him close tonight.

[zorosangell]

⛥ﾟ・。 orchids

SECRET BONUS/prequel to pocus -- (a year after merienda) after a three-month long mission, katakuri comes home to a rather interesting surprise... aka the story of Soda's conception.

cw: nsfw, fluff, comfort, katakuri is a bit awkward, he is twenty-three, you are twenty-two, KATAKURI'S GOT IT BAD, reader is a sweetheart.

a/n: took way too long pt.3 </3 will it ever end? no.

Through the pouring rain, Katakuri's heavy footfalls bounded off the damp air, the rhythmic chink of his spurs counting down his approach toward the large, imposing front door of his mansion.

His thick cloak weighed heavy on his tired shoulders, his muscles rigid and stiff with a building tension that was just begging to be released.

Three months.

It had been a whole three months since he'd last seen you.

Last held you...

Last heard your voice...

Last felt your touch...

And he very well felt like he was going insane.

Extended missions were often few and far between for the Sweet Commander—maybe only once or twice a year—but when they came, they were long, and of the utmost importance.

When Big Mom called on him for an assignment, it was because the task required a certain caliber of power and precision that only he possessed, a certain cold calculation that only he could apply.

He was, quite literally, the only man for the job.

And before you became his sweet, little wife, he honestly had no problem with it.

His missions invited excitement and danger into his life, allowing him to face off with opponents relative to his strength and provide brief periods of rest from the ever-constant pressure of being around his family.

He would finally be able to let loose and get back to the true essence of being a pirate past territories and mind-numbing paperwork.

In fact, he would even go as far as to say that they were the times where he was most happy.

But... all of that changed when he finally found a reason to enjoy home.

You.

You eliminated the main reason why he relished staying gone by being your typical, supportive, and understanding self.

Within your presence, he no longer had to worry about remaining flawless or exuding perfection, as you preferred him when he was being his authentic self.

You gave him respite from the perpetual stress he faced due to his family, never asking for or expecting more than what he could offer.

You gave him comfort in times where he began to doubt himself, showering him with praise and sweet nothings as you held him close.

There was no need for missions anymore because he had all the sanctuary he required in you, all the love and care he could ever want right at home.

But, sadly, life had a funny way of dangling happiness just out of his reach.

Stepping up onto the front porch, Katakuri's eyes softened as they landed on the two large flower pots on either side of the door.

Within them were freshly-planted orchids, their rich, pink petals stretching out as far and as wide as his large palm.

Your handiwork, he presumed.

They were your favorite flower, as you often said their color reminded you of his deep, magenta hair.

Little things like that—trivial to others—were the things that made him miss you even more.

Things only you could think of, connections only your beautiful mind could make.

God, he couldn't wait to have you all to himself...

Not wasting another second, he removed his key from his pocket, using it to unlock the door with a loud click.

"Shit!" a soft voice from inside hissed, the sound promptly followed by a rather harsh thud.

Instantly, Katakuri's brows furrowed, sharp pang of fear shooting through his stomach.

'What the...?'

What the hell just scurried across the foyer?

He had only just relieved the guards from their duty—you had security detail at all times when he was absent—and up until then, the huge gate at the entrance of his estate had been locked up tight for the night.

Nothing could've gotten in... and he certainly would've sensed danger if someone were trying to escape.

Tired of supposing, he simply pushed the door open, eyes widening and breath hitching at the sight that greeted him.

"Surprise!" you exclaimed, smile blinding as you happily jumped out from behind a decorative table. "Welcome home, Kuri!"

Somehow, the house had been turned into some sort of makeshift honeymoon suite, the lights dimmed and walkways lined with rose petals and candles, incense filling the room with a light haze, which smelled of sandalwood and jasmine.

To his right was a small, candlelit dinner for two, sashimi and beef tataki lining the plates along with two glasses of premium wine to match.

To his left was a flowery trail leading right upstairs, the soft hum of a music transponder snail adding to the atmosphere as it played lowly in the background.

And there, at the middle of it all, was you...

Katakuri's heart practically stuttered to a stop, eyes widening slightly as he caught sight of your soft form.

You stood shyly, delicious curves on display in the very nightgown you had tried—and succeeded—seducing him in during your first merienda together.

Your hair, freshly washed, cascaded beautifully over your shoulders, framing your face and slightly shading your eyes in a way that gave his hands an itch to rake through it.

Not to mention your newly-lotioned skin glowing in the soft candlelight, making you look so smoothe and soft and primed for holding.

"(y/n)..." he started, both confused and painfully aroused, as he shut the door behind himself, locking it. "What... are you doing?"

You faltered, an awkward expression settling on your face.

"Being... romantic?"

Katakuri paused a moment, waiting to see if you'd change your answer, before a dark tinge of blush began to burn on his cheeks.

Instantly, your face flushed, embarrassment beginning to sink in at his silence.

Your worst fear had been realized.

"Oh, my God, you hate it," you muttered, utterly mortified as you clasped a hand over your mouth.

Something had told you to ask him first rather than make it a surprise, but you just had to get excited and jump the gun.

And now you were paying the price.

"What? N-No!" he stumbled, not wanting you to get the wrong idea. "I don't hate it... I'm just..."

He let out a heavy sigh, shrugging off his cloak and scarf, hanging them up on the rack before starting toward you.

"This was unexpected, is all."

Nervously, your lip jutted in a slight pout, your eyes avoiding all contact with the man as he moved closer.

"I thought you deserved something nice after being away for so long... since this is the first time we've been apart," you limply explained, turning away from him. "But I guess it's all kinda cheesy..."

As he moved to stand in front of you, Katakuri's forefinger and thumb came up to hold your chin, turning you to face him where you were met with a soft kiss to your hairline.

Your eyes widened, and as quickly as he came, he left, leaving you slightly stunned.

"It's sweet," he corrected, thumb smoothing over the skin of your cheek. "I can tell you put a lot of effort into this"

You perked up at the last part, turning to him eagerly, eyes glinting with hope.

"Really?" you asked, sounding surprised, your expression downright adorable.

Suddenly, the music, the clothes, and the absolutely tantalizing scent of you began to work their magic on him.

All of his thoughts and reason faded into thin air as he stared into your gorgeous, doe eyes.

"Really," he confirmed, voice low and wanting.

And you could only let out a tiny gasp as he pulled you in, pressing his lips against yours to finally claim you after all this time.

You went completely slack in his hold, sinking into the kiss with another small gasp as his tongue parted your lips.

Finding a hold on his shoulders, your hands clung tightly to him, moving to press your body against him as much as humanly possible.

Your craving for more of him was cut short as he broke the kiss, pulling away from you as he cupped your face.

His thumb ran softly over your lips, leaving you unable to respond, still dumbstruck by his sudden burst of confidence.

His hand moved gently down your neck, sliding the strap of your nightgown down your shoulder ever so slightly, you letting out a timid whimper.

Katakuri's face looked to yours as you turned away, embarrassed by the noise that escaped you.

He flushed from ear to ear, pleasantly surprised.

You pouted, lips pursed as you pulled the general in by his shoulders, "Kuri..."

Your lips crashed against his with need, pouring every ounce of feeling you harbored for him all this time.

His arms wrapped around you, and before you knew it, you were in your shared bedroom, falling onto the ginormous mattress with a soft creak, his body completely enveloping you.

Katakuri's tongue played with yours as your hands moved across each other's skin, exploring places they already knew and places they'd never touched in a more passionate way.

The man completely slid the straps of your nightgown off your shoulders, sitting up just enough to help you pull it over your head.

With hooded eyes, he watched as your breasts bounced out, wasting no time in taking one into his mouth.

You let out a breathy moan, back arching to accommodate him, hands running through his hair.

Though, suddenly, he stopped, pushing himself up on his hands as looking down at you.

Panting, you tilted your head while looking up at him.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head, as if he was in deep thought.

"I usually wake up by now..."

Heart melting, you broke into a smile, sitting up to meet him and pull him back into a kiss.

Breathing against his lips, you cupped his face gently.

"M'not goin' anywhere, Kuri. I'm right here."

The general let out a quiet exhale, kissing you softly before moving down to your neck.

Shivers ran through your whole body, thighs clenching tight and craving more friction.

Slowly, he shifted your legs apart to kneel down between them, pulling off his gloves with his teeth before flippantly tossing them aside.

You felt a flush roll over your entire body, entranced with the look he gave you as he intensely eyed your form.

He kissed the palm of your hand, then your wrist, working his way down your arm and then back to your lips.

You wrapped your arms around him as he slid his hand down your stomach and into your panties.

Your breath caught in your throat, clinging to him helplessly as his fingers rubbed between your wet folds. Then, after a little searching, circled gently around your clit with the rough pads of his calloused fingers.

Katakuri continued to kiss you, drowning out your moans and gasps, devouring your lips as if he was finally able to sate a ravenous hunger.

He couldn't get enough, the way your tongue felt against his, the sound of your hitched breathing, and the way your whole body quivered as he teased between your legs.

His fingers slipped down inside of you again, feeling your cunt clench around the two he prodded you with.

"Breathe," he purred against your mouth, his voice a tone you had never heard him speak in before.

It made you tremble, raking your nails over his back.

Katakuri let out a small hiss, loving the feeling they left over his skin.

He continued to tease and please the surface of your skin, kissing you everywhere he was able to reach.

Until you couldn't take it anymore.

Cupping his face and bringing him back to your lips, you kissed him with all the intensity you could gather.

When you pulled away, you gave his lower lip a small nip, then laid back against the plush comforter.

"Kuri, please..." his eyes went slightly wide, and you noticed his breath hitch, "...fuck me."

There was a fire behind his eyes as he removed his fingers from you.

He gripped your panties to pull them off, but when they didn't move immediately, Katakuri let out a frustrated growl, and pulled until they ripped in two like tissue in his hands.

You stared at the frayed fabric a second, too dumbfounded to even react.

The way his muscles flexed during the act of ripping your clothes made you feel as if you were gushing like a geyser.

...But that was still a very expensive set of panties.

"I'll buy you more," he stated, already predicting what you were going to say.

He cast the shreds of your clothes aside and began to slide out of the rest of his own, shrugging off his leather vest and kicking off his boots before pulling down his pants and removing his boxers.

Finally, the two of you were naked in front of each other for the first time.

You both just stared at each other, him on his knees, and you now propping yourself up on your elbows.

Katakuri eyed you up and down, the flush across his face and ears seeping down to his upper chest and shoulders.

It seemed as if he'd stopped functioning, taken by your actual living, breathing form beneath him.

He bent down at the waist, touching your hip as he swallowed hard, suddenly incredibly nervous.

You also felt heat rising through your body, now feeling shy as you were truly exposed in front of the man you had fallen for.

His intense stare was driving you wild, but you could also see the gears in his head grinding to a halt.

He was trying to hide his nervousness.

In an attempt to soothe him, you sat up, running your hands over his shoulders with a comforting smile.

"You all right, Kuri?" you cooed softly, the man feeling your touch and instantly calming down.

The red in his cheeks sunk deeper at his nickname, and he swallowed hard, "You're... so beautiful, (y/n)...

He touched your face, his eyes heavy and dark with desire, only reflecting you at this distance

"I don't want to hurt you..."

Reassuringly, your nose rubbed against his, spreading your legs a little more for him as he shifted his hips naturally into place above your own.

Both of your breathing picked back up, lips brushing tentatively, the dam of passion quickly filling back up and beginning to spill over.

"You won't," your body shivered as he slipped a hand between you both, lining up the head of his cock with your wet slit.

Katakuri grit his teeth as he slowly pushed himself in. Your head threw back with a throaty mewl as your fingers dug into his shoulders, sliding them down over his inked chest.

He was far bigger than the one or two others you had in the past, but it didn't take much or long before he had you filled to the brim with all he had to give.

After a few deep breaths from you both, you adjusted to his size, but still let out a shocked moan as he rolled his hips gently into yours.

The movement caused your walls to flutter around him, a small shock of pleasure pulsing through your body.

It was the smallest of movements from him, but you already craved more.

You pulled him in for another heated kiss, moaning into his mouth as he began a slow place with his thrusts.

Breaking the kiss, Katakuri buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly.

"F-fuck, you feel... so good—" his moan was caught in his throat when you shifted your hips to give him a better angle.

His thrusts became deeper with the new access, your eyes rolling in the back of your head.

The general kissed and sucked along your neck and collarbone, adding to the sensations you were already feeling, knowing you would be covered in marks by morning.

You lifted his face to look at you as you gasped out for him.

"Kuri... please..."

Placing a peck on your lips, he nodded as he took a moment to shift the two of you slightly, sitting up on his knees and lifting your hips with him, your upper back rubbing harshly against the cover of the comforter.

He wrapped your legs around him, running his rough palms up and down your thighs a few times until his hands gripped your hips.

Without warning, his cock drilled more harshly inside you, hearing a loud smack as his hips made contact with yours.

Fingers digging into his hands, your eyes rolled back again as he began a whole new assault on your soaking cunt.

Again and again and again, he pounded against you with such force you had to brace yourself against the mattress.

Katakuri fucked you hard and raw, picking up speed the louder your moans got, quite thankful that you'd let all the staff go for the night—he didn't sense a single soul in the house save for you two.

Your legs struggled to keep tight around him, nearly flailing as your toes curled and feet kicked.

Right there.

You felt your orgasm building closer and closer to a sweet peak that you had been chasing, craving, cying out for.

Your eyes met his as he licked his lips, knuckles white against your hips as he sprinted you both to the finish line.

He was a man possessed, desiring only you and the pleasures your bodies brought.

Neither of you could form the words, but the look on his face told you everything he wanted as if you could hear him speaking the words.

Cum for me...

Arching your back, you cried out loudly as you creamed around him, muscles and walls clenching harshly on his pulsing cock as you felt his hips begin to stutter, emptying deep inside you with a growl that matched your vibrato.

The world had gone white, feeling only the pressure of his cock twitching inside you and his fingers releasing your hips from his hold as bruises formed in their place.

Katakuri lowered them gently, still not removing himself as he looked you over, touching your face tenderly as he admired the marks he gifted you.

You felt as if you were glowing, and from his perspective you were, your hair sprawled out and wild among the pillows, creating a natural halo around your head.

It was as if he had an angel beneath him...

His thumb brushed your lips, mesmerized that he gave you your current fucked-out and dreamy smile.

"I love you... so much..."

He held you tightly in his arms, the two of you enjoying the pleasure of each other's company well into the night.

And nine months later... your firstborn son, Soda, was born.

[srslylini]

season 2 has a structure problem and that makes act 1 flow naturally enough and it sets up the next acts perfectly well, but they wanted to do so much more than what they were

1. setting up

2. capable of doing in 9 episodes

had they just cut a few plot lines everything would've moved far easier. For example

1. cut the Smeech thing entirely. Sevika and Jinx don't need this to find themselves together and start a found family. That scene In Silcos office was so moving and everything I always loved about Arcane, stuff like this is what's needed. In fact move the prison break to act 1 and have them handle that together, Jinx can still make Sevika her arm, and everything could've still moved the same. It would've fit so much better and there also would've been so much more time to develop anything else with the magic system and act 2 wouldn't feel like it was overflowing with anything and everything. Isha is a character that as of in the show can be cut so easily and that's so sad because she'd be so interesting. Everything about her would've worked and SHOULD HAVE worked but she also just felt like Plot and a thing to make Jinx sad over again. Either don't do that or make Isha not a character like this???? I liked her scenes with Jinx so much and the scene with Jinx freaking out after finding out that Isha was taken to prison was genuinely so good, I'm still holding on to the hope that they didn't actually kill her

2. either cut that shit with the tree because let's be so honest that basically only happened so that Heimerdinger, Ekko and Jayce could meet, since we do NOT even really talk about the tree in act 2? that was so weird. Like either actually make it a thing or find different ways to let characters meet naturally. I dont know, the show was so good with that in season 1. And if they truly wanted the tree scene at least make it make sense and don't randomly drop it Idk.

3. I LOVE Mel she is like my favorite character but the plot with the black rose takes so much necessary time away from what we actually need to focus on. I heard they want to make different shows so they are setting this up but it just doesn't work. Mel could've so easily been integrated into the main plot line and it would've also made so much more sense at that. Though I'll just wait on act 3 before I judge too hard. (if they actually DARE to make her pregnant Istg)

4. Making Jinx that hero character for only like, what, a few seconds was so strange. I hope act 3 gets that better but that, first of all, happened mostly out of no where and a few touches to her shoulder after the prison scene was also not??? helping??? either set that up from the very start or don't do it at all. She isn't a hero, she is a tragedy and someone who needs help and room to breathe. The scenes where they tried to make that funny, in my opinion didn't land at all. She doesn't need a hero complex she needs calmness and stable relationships. Let Isha live I swear to GOD.

in fact that leads me into the next point

5. Have Vi realize she doesn't want to be an enforcerer sooner? I actually do like how rushed that part felt don't get me wrong, but if they wanted a reunion between Jinx and Vi don't randomly put it into act 2 with barely any build up. Let Jinx and Vi realize it during the fight, they kinda did do that but??? just didn't move that anywhere. it's so strange. If they had cut the Smeech stuff they could've easily used the third episode to make Jinx and Vi slowly reconcile. Which also means I think Vi would've been such a better "symbol" than Jinx. Vi and Jinx, for me, show what Zaun is made of, and Jinx is quite literally the valid pain, distrust and anger of Zaun, and she as well as Zaun desperately need healing. Like that would've been SO COOL. that's just my opinion though, so there is that.

6. If they had made Vi the symbol the conflict between Caitlyn and Vi would've felt a lot more natural as well. Like??? Also Caitlyn should've had so much more time if they wanted that switch up in the end to work. Cut the black rose stuff and that would've worked perfectly fine.

7. Now do NOT get me wrong, Ambessa's character is so interesting and I feel like exploring her is so cool but she and her plot just doesn't fit into the Piltover/Zaun thing. It makes it too big for what the show is. In fact I (and now this is just my opinion, anyone can have their own just saying lmao) would've either cut out Ambessa's character/plotline or subtly continued Ambessas drama with Mel, which would give Mel, who didn't get taken by the black rose in my version, a lot more to do and way more interesting stuff too. Again this is very much my opinion and doesn't mean anyone needs to share it, but I feel like they could've easily made Heimerdinger be the one who gets Caitlyn to where she was/is with Ambessa. It would've expanded Heimerdingers character and it would've stayed in the setting they already perfectly build up, Piltover and Zaun. Also, Heimerdinger wouldn't just feel like a random joke character anymore.

8. The Pit fight stuff could have been SO interesting and I feel had we not stayed with Viktor Christ so much which was also so weird at times, we could've gotten so much necessary insight on Vi. If we follow my idea it could've been Vi forced to be a symbol because of the person she is. The embodiment of Zauns loyalty, strength and resilience. And then the fights that will come out of that forcing Vi to face so much stuff she shouldn't etc etc (I haven't fleshed that one out yet don't come for me) and that could've ended in her pit fighting era, which should've taken at LEAST an episode and not a random montage that just gets forgotten??? for no reason at all. Really hope act 3 talks about that cause??? I feel with Vi as the leader the healing of Zaun would make so much sense, because Jinx realistically can't do that. The idea of Jinx being in that position IS interesting I just feel it wasn't established/developed enough.

9. I really really liked how from the very beginning Viktor's safe haven did not in fact feel safe. There was always a very uneasy feeling and that's what I love about the show. I was always waiting for the shoe to drop and it happened, that was amazing. Though I would've either established a lot of this way earlier on in the show or made it not so, and now walk with me here Ik its magic, unrealistic. That does sound strange but having Viktor suddenly float in space with white silver flowing hair and his dead assistent next to him was... very very out of no where. It was like a lazy show trying to get away with "yeah well it's magic so of course this works" and I hate that because even magic needs explanation and build up. So yeah. Either cut that shit out or have it established sooner. And while seeing the one person who helped Jayce as a kid did kind of help, it still wasn't enough for THIS, though again MY OPINION. Also we spent way too much time there, it was getting ridiculous. So much time could've easily been lent to stuff that actually needed it. I actually laughed out loud when Viktor started the healing process with Vander because come ON now, and I do not think they wanted me to laugh.

10. The stuff with Vander, Silco and Felicia (while cute) was unnecessary and weird. What I liked the most about Vander taking in Vi and Powder was the feeling that he didn't do it because he necessarily knew them very well but because he knew their mom was dead (that did show he and their mother did kind of know each other but so do like all the people in the lanes that is kind of established) and wanted to PROTECT. This new context sadly makes it feel like "well of course he stopped everything and took them with them and cared for them he knew them since birth, duh" when I always wanted to feel "well Vander is in his heart a good man who saw what terrible stuff this war and fighting did and then took in orphaned children because of course he would do that" if that makes sense? I feel this new thing took away so much from Vander, but again that's maybe just me.

11. So many jokes and scenes didn't land with me. The scene with Jinx trying to show Sevika her middle finger was SO GOOD and so Arcane that seeing the scene were they try to make it funny with Jinx's trousers and that enforcerer felt so out of place? Like what. That scene could have EASILY been cut and nothing would have changed at all. And that's what is the worst because there isn't one scene in season 1 that I feel could've been cut and there are so many of them in season 2.

12. Introducing Maddie in act 1 made me believe she'd be a bigger, even more of a threat to Zaun, character than she was and that's so sad. What I loved about season 1 is that every single character mattered. Even those we saw maybe once. This time around I hardly cared at all for any new character because they didn't feel like a Person anymore, they just felt like Plot. In season 1 episode 1 there is this scene, the first scene Vander gets to speak in. The only reason Huck meets the woman and the man to trait was basically so we get to know how the undercity works and establish Vander as basically its leader and protecter; The one people are loyal to etc. But it doesn't feel that way. It's something that naturally happens and every character in that scene, even the man and the woman we never see again, mattered and felt real.

yeah so those were really just my thoughts. I could very much go on but I also don't want to.