#GOD everything about this movie drives me nuts

[cyber-corp]

Pleasantville is a beautifully stunning film about the importance of living life to the absolute fullest, not giving it a proper, structured definition, and the inherent hypocrisy of internalising your own humanity. It’s one of the best usages of colour since The Wizard of Oz and it also features a scene in which a woman having an orgasm for the first time causes a tree to spontaneously combust.

Did you like the premise of Barbie? Watch Pleasantville.

Did you like The Truman Show? Watch Pleasantville.

Have you an attraction to either Tobey Maguire and/or Reese Witherspoon? Watch Pleasantville.

Quite possibly a new favourite of mine. Phenomenal.

[writingamarie]

okay so overall i didn’t hate it. there were things i didn’t like. and random thoughts i had this is about to be long…

there was too much humor surrounding gerrard for me. it’s like we took the begins episode bigot and leveled him out. listen i don’t want them to work for a bigot but they do and i don’t want it to be funny…

and like i get that chris hung out with tommy. maybe a little weird to have him as a part of the video birthday surprise but i guess we didn’t get to know a lot about chris and tommys dynamic.

i will die on the hill that the diaz parents are awful and if they get the 911 parent redemption treatment i will actually struggle with that. helena acts like eddie being shut out of chris birthday is no big deal and then literally walks away from the computer to sing?? like bring your son with you. she does not actually care about eddie and it hurts me.

honestly it’s good buck didn’t punch gerrard even if i wanted him to. and i like seeing some of my favorite buck traits making an appearance again. his info dumps and just how he processes everything around him. but saving gerrard would make sense for buck somehow playing golf with him.

thoughts i wrote during the episode:

eddie being the one to tell buck to keep his head down. yikes. like do you know buck??

bucks animal knowledge!! i missed my little info spiral buck

fucking independent thinking. fuck gerrard

fucking tommy

that was weird flirting. why do they have awkward high schooler energy? like im all for multi shipping but i dont like tommy’s past or how it’s been glossed over. but that aside that was not sexy i like my boyfriend energy it was kinda lame. like i was back being a weird theatre kid hiding behind couches with other weird theatre kids at parties

fuck chris… didn’t even stay for buck. like that hurts. stay mad you grumpy teenager. you are your fathers sassy asshole kid

i hate eddie’s parents. if they have a redemption arc i will revolt. they are terrible parents to eddie

haha i’m so glad i didn’t replace you with an ai

i would also stampede if bees swarmed

check for booboos god he’s an ass

i’m sorry buck sprayed eddie with bee attracting perfume????

omg eddie’s little run that’s so funny.

duct tape fixes everything haha

you want a trophy. seriously this man is so old and awful

omg changing flights. no athena

is it awful to hope this man dies on the plane?

oh no this actor is gonna drive bobby nuts

buckward omg

omg buck saved the bigot

and onto another 70s disaster movie

[dukeofdelirium]

Let’s talk about something more positive: what are your top 10 gay ships?

Oh god idk if I have 10 but let’s see!

1) lawlight. 1000000000% LAWLIGHT lmao! I’m obsessed. OBSESSED with them. I’ve been obsessed with this ship for over 14 years. They make me actually rabid and crazy like nothing else. Everything about this ship and their dynamic drives me nutty. They are the only real “enemies to lovers” ship I’ve ever gaf about or probably ever will. There’s something sooooo Shakespearean tragedy coded about this pairing and they are genuinely so fun to analyze to me. I’ll never get bored of them!

2) byler! Definitely byler!!! I love this ship so much. Best friends to lovers is always gonna be my favorite overall trope (despite the lawlight obsession) because I just think it’s gahhhh so sweet!! Mike and Will being together will be the perfect conclusion to stranger things imo and I’m so excited for the final season!!

3) korrasami! I remember when they went canon. I was so shocked I didn’t even believe we actually WON with a gay ship. This pairing was groundbreaking for cartoons and is the reason we have gay rep in kids shows now too

4) zukaang! I am a multi shipper so I ship Aang with Katara and Zuko too. I love Zuko and Aang’s dynamic and I think there is a ton of canonical support for this ship, too. I guess they’re technically an “enemies to lovers” but I don’t rlly think of them that way. Anyway, I think they’re cute!

credit to Noquelle for the fanart!

5) patrochilles, obviously there’s the Iliad but there’s also a novel called The Song of Achilles which I highly recommend if you’ve never read it and want gay rep. It’s a beautifully written novel that is about Achilles and Patroclus and makes an argument for the interpretation of them being lovers (which was common in ancient times)

credit to awanqi on Twitter for the fanart

6) frowise??? Samfro???? Sam and Frodo from The Lord of the Rings! I’ve always loved these two. And if you think the films are gay, the books are gayer. They cuddle, hold hands, kiss and tell each other they love each other in the novels. They are precious and I love them soooo much

7) this one’s gonna sound silly but me and my friends ship quimbry (Quil and Embry) from Twilight lmao. We wanted gay rep and then it just kind of snowballed. I have like 7 fanfics on my ao3 written for them …. 😂😂😂 idgaf that they’re fanon either cuz they’re real to me and I’m obsessed with them. My ao3 is the same as my tumblr btw if you wanted to read my fics! it’s dukeofdelirium

8) (edit I can’t believe I forgot them!) WILMON from Young Royals! Such a sweet pairing and I was so obsessed with them when I watched this show. Such a good show too. Highly recommend and the actors had amazing chemistry

9) REDDIE? I remember this one breaking my heart a bit. I’m not a hugely active shipper of it but it’s cute and really sad

10) Jack and Ennis from Brokeback Mountain:(((( this movie really and truly ruined my life and did something to me when I watched it as a 10 yr old. Somethin about growing up in the south as a closeted gay boy…. Heath and Jake were insane in this film their chemistry was nuts

Hmmm I can’t think of anything else at the moment! I’m very particular about the stuff I ship, it rlly has to scratch a niche itch in my brain for me to be really and truly obsessed with it.

Thanks for bringing something positive to the ask box! :) what are your favorite gay ships, anon?

[mushtoons]

YOU HAVE NO FUVKJN CLUE WHAT KIND OF SHIT LEONARDO HAMATO DOES TO ME. GODDAMN. theres a reason im obsessed w this boy and those reasons are Many. hes just like every other leo if they got a moment to be a person and it drive me fuckin nuts. bonkers, even. hes still analytical he still cares with all his heart hed still do anything to keep them safe and hell still do it alone he still cares about tradition and the status quo and he refuses to show that he cares both because he doesnt want to break that status quo as hes not the eldest anymore and because he doesnt want to stop being able to be carefree and happy. but hes still made up of a leader (he still wears red beneath his blue, a mask that doesnt hide a thing-and the leader wears red, doesnt he, doesnt he?) and god, hed still do anything to keep them safe. hes still the head, and the legacy, and. karai. you are not alone. and yet, both her and leo, they readily threw themselves into a prison that they thought theyd never escape from. no one is alone. except for them. because they have to, this is their duty, this is their comeuppance, they have to be a hero, they have to be the savior. and leos closeness with karai and. and when they leave karai and then when they leave raph, both times, he has to be dragged away. and he locks himself in a prison dimension. and hes calling casey 'case' by the end of the movie, and his supposed last words to him are to say hes proud. and hes so bright and kind and annoying. and. theres just. god theres so much i could say about leo. i use jokes to cope, with my last breath i told you so, hero moves are totally your style, youve been portal chopped. and he only cries in the prison dimension. the moment that portal opens he stops. and he doesnt say a thing between youve been portal chopped and. and, 'took you guys long enough'. like he knew theyd save him. and mikeys portals were a miracle. and he left a katana there. and its a belief of mine that, afterwards, hes more subdued and careful and out of the way. its not about me. and maybe he pushes that too far. and maybe, hes always worked hard to keep his hurt from them, so they dont have to bother with it. mikey needs more help, donnie is more sickly, raph is trying so hard. that last thought was off the hook idk abt that one yet dont take it too seriously. but anyways i think a lot abt him and caseys relationship too. the gentle carefulness that could bloom there alongside bright burning youth and love and hope. and casey was their final stand, and he did it. and he told him, i dont wanna lose you again. and like..just. leos everything. the masks he hides behind and the person underneath and how its clear he cares and..leo is the soul. mikey is the heart and donnie is the mind and raph is the body and leo is the soul. tuning the background noise and guiding them, quiet or loud, whatever he needs to be. and just..the way he always quietly led them and his smarts and how he got to be someone and how he still tries to throw that away and how clear it is he doesnt care for himself the way he does others and how that reflects in future leo concepts and how much I know he would care for this younger versions of himself and. and how bright he is, how annoying yet loveable and so, so interesting he is. this was so scrambled but idc i love him so much. if you want more of my coherent leo thoughts point a thing out this was summary and i DO have SO many thoughts on the prison dimension as a whole (four poems actually), casey and leos relationship (a whole post and then a much larger section in a doc), the peepaw and leo (again A WHOLE DOC for peepaw concepts), and general analysis on the boy (yet again a whole doc). also sorry if this was a bit much lmao he means a lot 2 me

DHDHDJD HOLY SHIT THIS IS A LOT /POS

LMAOOO WE CAN TELL WHO YA FAVORITE IS /LH BUT THIS IS SO DJJDJFDJDJD SO DETAILED AND JUST ❤️❤️

[halloweenthief]

Deadly Valentine

2023 December edit: This is still centered on Valentine's day, I wanted to share it again because hey guess who got dumped, I rewrote some parts but overall still the same - End of the edit

I wrote this in the same way I write my own books or fanfics, so yeah, It may look weird?

This is an au where Streber didn’t survived to Bob

This is also the first fic(?) I post in Tumblr, it may look crappy but I tried to make it good enough

TW: Commented death, commented murder

……………………………………………………

A long, loud beeping sound echoed in Kevin’s room, it didn't matter, Kevin was already awake

It's hard to get used to sleep alone once you’re already used to sleep with someone else, to wake up and see the face of your loved one

Well, he still doesn’t have time to, it’s Valentine’s Day, obviously the Candy Club had to be open, and since they weren’t giving free candy he would at least get more money than he did on halloween

It’s been 5 months since the accident happened, 5 months since that sick fuck killed his boyfriend, 5 months and he wasn’t able to move on

He didn’t even had time to mourn

God, he hated Halloween even more

And he was just about to start hating Valentine’s Day as well, even if he didn’t had a free day, he could always take dinner with Streber, or watch movies, anything

………………………………..

There’s nothing now

Better to go to work, if he’s lucky enough there won’t be a lot of annoying costumers

Maybe the spooky kids won’t ever appear today to drive him nuts

Oh what a day it would be...

He heard the sound of door opening, sadly, it wasn’t a normal costumer

The day was surprisingly calm, a lot of kids coming to buy candys for gifts, either for friends, familys or partners

Must be nice, at least other people was going to enjoy Valentine’s day, but it was still hard to see couples being so lovey-dovey knowing he won't get the chance to do that anymore

—… Here we go —Kevin sighed as he saw Skid and Pump entering the store, he didn’t have the energy to do anything

— Hi Kevin!

—Two candy cans please!

—Are you two kids going to pay this time at least?

—I’m not in the mood for this  —He reached for the candy cans and gave it to them— Just get out

Ah, they forgot there’s no free candy on Valentine’s day, only discounts

Pump tried to search for money on his pockets, there’s no money on his pockets, he’s just trying to pretend there is

—Thanks Kevin!

—Oh! What are you gonna do today?

—What?

—For the spooky Valentine’s day!

—You two just add “Spooky” to everything, don’t you?

—Because it is Spooky!

—So? —Skid returned to the first question

Pump sounded really proud about that

They were getting really annoying today, why aren’t they gone yet? Don't they have anything else to do

—I’m working, that’s what I’m doing, now go

—Aw…

—Huh, I could’ve sworn you… You really aren’t doing anything today? —At least Skid was confused, he was pretty sure he heard Kevin mentioning having a partner at least once

He never got to meet him tho, at least that’s what he thought

—Yes, I’m pretty sure

—Mom bought me some lollipops

The kids looked at each other and shrugged

Skid took out a lollipop from his pocket and offered it to Kevin

—You already had candy? And yet you came for more?

—I wanted a Candy Can!

—The lollipops are for sharing

Kevin took the lollipop, it was one of those heart shaped ones with a pink packing, it had a cheesy message on the back, it was hard to read

—… Thanks kids

—Your welcome Kevin!

—Let’s go to the forest! —The kids got out of the Candy Store with the cans, heading out to the forest, they're really loud when they're running

It wasn’t really safe but at this point Kevin knew that he could do little to nothing to stop them

At least there wasn’t any kind of weird shit today

At least he got a lollipop

At least Valentine wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been...

[dilfdoctordoom]

Absolutely just preaching to the choir at this point but like, I don't care I'm also going to complain LOL I cannot get over how it seems Gunn had a legit grudge against Gamora (and Mantis!!!) because the treatment of both of them feels so specifically targeted that you would think both characters broke into his house and kicked his dog or something. He's definitely not as dumb as the Snyder fans would have you believe, I know he reads the source material even if he ignores the majority of it, but I do not see how even if you ONLY read GotG 2008 that you'd come away with wanting to intentionally write the women like that, it's so unhinged.

I'd ask why the HELL Vol. 3 struggles so much with its WOC when he's shown to have the ability to Try and improve on this in his other work post Vol. 2 (Mind you i think The Suicide Squad also had issues with racism AND ableism- if it's supposed to be this commentary on the USA strong arming and trying to cover up their involvement with other countries, why is the film presenting it as a big joke that Bloodsport and Peacemaker are violently murdering these POC freedom fighters by accident? I know Gunn is a big horror nut and violence and an R rating blah blah blah but Maybe read the room. And don't get me started on everything with Polka Dot Man oh my god) but by now I think the Vol. 3 issues are because he just could NOT put himself mentally into the characters headspaces, like he literally couldn't relate to them At All so they just had to get these half assed resolutions at best or written out to never to return at worst. (other than Rocket, obviously, who even then ALSO suffers from the writing!! NO ONE TRULY WINS!!!)

I genuinely think the only reason the leading lady in Peacemaker (Leota, a black queer woman) didn't get treated like ass is because of Gunn's own comment that the character shares a name with his mother. Like, bruh. If the only way you can treat these characters with different backgrounds than you with the bare minimum of respect is because of vaguely nepotistic reasons or because you absolutely HAVE to relate to/project onto them, then idk what to even say 😵‍💫

This is a safe space to be mad about the treatment of women (& women of color specifically) in the Guardians franchise because god, it always just gets worse the more that I think about it.

(Random tangent: Like, you have Michelle Yeoh! The Michelle Yeoh! And she's just... cameo doesn't do anything doesn't ever appear again. My god if we're gonna force Gamora to be a Ravager at least bring her back).

There was some improvement in his DC work (though definitely not in his treatment of disabled characters lmao that's a consistent shitshow). Ratcatcher felt like a person, didn't get needlessly fridge like I'd assumed she would. Harcourt and Leota actually feel fledged out. Leota especially as that's a queer woman of color... and now it's just cause she has the same as his mother lmao.

Guardians 3 I think is the most disappointing movie in the entire MCU because I just fundamentally do not buy these resolutions for these characters. Peter's going back to Earth? Awesome, but he already did that. Rocket's fine with everyone leaving? Strange since for them, they were dead for five years.

What happened to Gamora and Mantis goes beyond Gunn's favoritism like he was so casual about killing Gamora... leading woman of color, and he talks constantly about how he just wanted to kill her, that's, uh, that's not great.

Mantis drives me crazy because you could not convince me that that man has read a single comic starring her. How do you adapt someone so horrifically? Comic Mantis isn't great, nor am I ever gonna claim she is, but she's still somehow better than the MCU depiction.

[thereisnoneedtocallmesir]

I was tagged for this one by @nerdie-faerie as well

1. Are you named after anyone?

No

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last night, some kinda bug was driving me nuts while I tried to sleep but the bastard appeared to be invisible cause no matter what I did I could not find it

3. Do you have kids?

Thank god no

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Apparently, but I suck at recognizing sarcasm

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Probably how they dress tbh

6. What’s your eye color?

Brown

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

Happy endings

8. Any special talents?

Apparently I’m good at chugging

9. Where were you born?

In the USA, but I was never an American because of an exception regarding diplomats

10. What are your hobbies?

Rowing, playing board games and video games, and when I actually get to it cosplaying and drawing

11. Do you have any pets?

Unfortunately not, but I’ll ask many many people I see outside if I can pet their dog!

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I have played so many because none of them worked. Like someone from the municipality had to go “yeah you’ve tried everything you could realistically try right now, you are allowed to not attend pe”. But for the last 3 years I’ve been rowing! Thankfully that sport does seem to work out for me

13. How tall are you?

Like 1,74 meter so like 5 foot 8.5

14. Favorite subject in school?

I’m not really sure I had one. I liked geography/geology with the right teacher

15. Dream job?

Probably policy worker as criminologist at a municipality, or maybe getting a PhD and working at a university

And for this one too I shall tag @1runw1thwolves212 and @theclaireelyse

[starkastichotmess]

TAG PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!

Favourite colour(s): Purples and blues.

Favourite flavour(s): I love most sweet things, as well as most spicy things. And by spicy, I'm talking ghost peppers are the 'somewhat hot' level of spice for me. But then, I am from the US South, so we tend to use a lot of spice here - especially in the areas where you'll find cajun cooking as part of the norm.

Favourite genre(s): Scifi mostly, and clever fantasy (think more along the lines of Discworld rather than Lord of the Rings kind of thing). I'm also a big fan of horror - mostly in terms of the psychological and supernatural stuff, rather than slashers and gorefests - as well as some outright cozy mysteries.

Favourite music: My musical taste is extremely eclectic, in part because I'm a multi-instrumentalist, and I enjoy hearing others play some of my favourite instruments to play. I listen mostly to metal, hard rock, and alternative, but I also listen to everything from pop to classical. Pretty much the only thing I'm not a big fan of is most modern-ish country music (ie the "my wife left me for my truck and took my dog because I was an abusive asshole" variety).

Favourite movie: Some of my long lasting favourites range from Ghostbusters (1984), Labyrinth (1986), and Aliens (1986) to The Addams Family (1991), Galaxy Quest (1999), and Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse (2018), just to name a few of my most rewatched.

Favourite series: Again in terms of long-lasting faves, Doctor Who (with pretty much the full extended universe range from 1963 to present day), Star Trek (various eras from TOS and TNG through at least DS9 and Voyager - didn't see much past that besides Enterprise, iirc), The Real Ghostbusters (1986), American Gods (2017), BBC's Ghosts (2019), Good Omens (2019), and The Mandalorian (2019).

Last song: VoicePlay's cover of We Don't Talk About Bruno

Last series: Dragon Age: Absolution (2022)

Last movie: The Batman (2022)

Currently reading: Mass Effect: Annihilation by Catherynne M. Valente

Currently watching: in between things right now, so nothing at the moment

Currently working on: revamping various pages across all four blogs, trying to plan out new banner graphics, attempting to remember what that word is that I've forgotten that has been driving me nuts since 4am this morning...

TAGGED BY STOLEN FROM: @dutyworn 😘💕❤️💜💙

TAGGING: steal it!

[repurposedmeatlocker]

31, 32, 27 and 60 for the movie ask!!!!

27. Top 5 actors AHHHH ughhh this is going to drive me nuts because I'm going to forget so many people ugh ok um. In no order: 1. James Stewart 2. Chadwick Boseman 3. Al Pacino 4. Robert Redford 5. Steven Yeun

31. Movie your parent showed you I wanted to choose from something recent, but suddenly realized they haven't had the chance to specifically show me a lot of movies this past year. Mostly it has been me showing them movies. Maybe now that it is the summer I can find some time to let them show me some films 'cause they are film buffs like me and they have a whole list of things they want me to see. The last film my mom showed me was Farewell My Concubine (1993) in an uncut theatrical re-screening. It was really good and beautifully shot. I'd recommend it if you like Chinese cinema and tragic homosexuals.

32. Last movie you watched Tbh I have been watching a lot of shorts this year (specifically animation) for school. The last one I saw was called All Nothing or Tout rien (1978) by Frédérick Back. You can find it here it is quite lovely. No, but the real answer, as far as movies go, is fucking Barnyard (2006). Had the impulsive urge to rewatch it for the first time since I was a kid. Such an odd film. Idk what else to say about it. Biggie Cheese 4 life.

60. Most visually stunning movie you've seen It is hard to settle on a singular answer because I feel like a lot of movies that I would consider "visually stunning" are so for different reasons. On a "spectacle" level, I found Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) really impressive. Just for the way it was able to manipulate its environment and the way it used its editing tricks and campy visuals within the storytelling. Especially for such a big blockbuster. I usually expect that kind of stuff nowadays for more "low-key" features. On a "general" level. As in, left me god-smacked despite it not being a traditionally "flashy" film, I would say The Shining (1980). The ambiance and environment built in that setting is so good and so impeccable. The fact that people still are trying to understand and break it down is amazing. On a "aesthetic" level. I want to add Chungking Express (1994). I just found it to be such a beautiful film in its simplicity and replication of an ethereal quality of being in a dream. Those blurry, flaring lenses really don't leave you after you see it for the first time.

[the-firebird69]

Thus Jacob says: "I, Jacob, who speak to you, I am also Israel, I am an angel of God, a ruling spirit, and Abraham and Isaac were created before every work of God; and I am Jacob, called Jacob by men, but my name is Israel, called Israel by God, a man seeing God, because I am the first-born of every creature which God caused to live.

And he adds: "When I was coming from Mesopotamia of Syria, Uriel, the angel of God, came forth, and said, I have come down to the earth and made my dwelling among men, and I am called Jacob by name. He was angry with me and fought with me and wrestled against me, saying that his name and the name of Him who is before every angel should be before my name. And I told him his name and how great he was among the sons of God;

Are you not Uriel my eighth, and I am Israel and archangel of the power of the Lord and a chief captain among the sons of God? Am not I Israel, the first minister in the sight of God, and I invoked my God by the inextinguishable name?"[6]

..

Jacob is not Trump or his clone or son and it's not woody. But it does sound like a rider.

...

My husband is falling asleep trying to do this and he got to do some nice sleep he is oxygenating and you can't tell I can tell because of certain skin tone and he says okay and it's true this is a story that we want to get out about Jacob and Jacob's ladder and it does explain what Max are up to and he did get it there's only a couple of points throughout the stories of his life and his statements. He went through life and he got four wives and had children and someone said this child of yours Joseph does not survive then you are not from the house of God and Jacob refused him and went on as if his son survived and didn't know if he was dead or not and he began telling people did he is the son of God and he was made from nothing and that he has been the father of everyone that's what the max wanted him to do by telling him this about his son they do drive people nuts with that so Jacob made a statement and it's the above statement and a few others that were not so long. The story is about his strange experiences and he is a vastly delusional person and he had an experience with a winged person and they call themselves angels and they're delusional as hell some of them know what they're saying and they know it's not true people are wondering what this has to do with the max and it's simply put that the man might understand his position and he's running around trying to convince people that he is God and that he controls everything and that he's invincible and these people are here sons and he's doing he keeps telling them and saying what it is and they don't believe him and he wrestles with him and tries to use Force and this is the idea that the max have not wrestling with us and foreigners are avoiding it and the max are calling for it. It's a method of kidnapping and these idiots have been running around yelling at people and we can just sit there and her son sits there with millions of people doing it.

That's my take on it and my husband says I'm right

Hera

The details of his life explain it as well because he is an adulterer and he's taking over someone else's house and that's what the max are I'm thinking over several houses and their wives and they're making a bunch of clothes with them fights with an Angel and I'm saying that it's kind of a real one or it's not and that's what they're saying and the angel of the pizza many times proving that he is real and they also looking for that

Thor Freya

Inside the several movies and some people got it and they're trying to do it and they suck real bad and they get beat by regular people so trying to see the max to it and they're trying to watch what happens but the max don't have that plan they have a different way of doing it and they're seeing it happen and they can't believe it they're being pushed out of the entire plan

Nuada Arrianna

Olympus

[im-always-the-problem-its-me]

i don't know what the fuck just happened

i somehow managed to fuck up SO's birthday and feel awful. ive gotta make a big drive tomorrow night and have to fuck up my sleep schedule on purpose and with how emotionally exhausting this whole day was it's that much more difficult.

i legit started rambling, feeling very 'i'm a piece of shit, what do you want..let's make jokes about how fucked up i am while i detach emotionally when you have a breakdown' like roman fucking roy and then i even said 'i'm roman fucking roy, i don't know what you want from me'.

here's what i think happened: nutshell version because being vague is safer and i'm also tired.

SO has been depressed. i can't do shit about it. i have a bad habit when i'm overwhelmed with my own shit to be like 'let's try to just be super happy and pretend his breakdown isn't happening because i can't handle men crying on the floor because i'm used to men getting angry, yelling or worse...hitting me.' so i avoid. it's a symptom of complex PTSD apparently and also i think ptsd doesn't accurately describe what i have anymore because nothing is 'post'. this shit is happening right now and im constantly triggered because i figured out i'm still being abused and emotionally manipulated by my parents as an adult and i don't know wtf to do about it. i think im going to need therapy again. SO says he thinks he wants to go see one again too.

there's nothing wrong with our relationship. it's individually, we're both fucked up. it doesn't help i have this 'not really, but kind of' a side thing but it's not affecting things here. (im still a piece of shit because if anything its kind of an emotional affair...i dont know...feelings are fine...if i act on them then that's different...this is an old flame too and we're close, always have been...it's just an intense friendship bordering upon dangerous with flirtations but THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE)

'you never shut up' SO said to me out of anger. broke down after he said it even though i agreed even though it stung. i told him don't worry about it. it was true. i need to to not put all my shit on him. that's why i suggested therapy again.

i explained that i don't feel mad or upset by anything that happened tonight..just feel bad because yes he called me out on being emotionally detached and i have been lately because im a fucking mess. i also tend to run from everything so i even told him fuck it, we can move back because it's fine me being a mess but since he's the breadwinner, when he falls apart it's bad for both of us. i'm already on benefits because of epilepsy that's intractible. nothing I can do about that. but he needs to be ok.

he keeps looking at me like i'm nuts but dude, i've been running my whole life. i wanted to settle and stay here forever and i love this place more than any place i have ever lived but look i'm still sick here and i got issues popping up like god hates me.

i'm not even roman roy. i think because i detached instead of wearing it on my face or crying like kendall. maybe i'm a mix of both. i dunno. that show speaks to me on so many levels. i rewatched Hannibal too and i'm just like wtf. then i picked my favorite mommy issues movies to put on.

here's what i know happened: two people who love each other very much aren't doing well mentally but their relationship isn't what's making the other fucked up. it's everything else they have never dealt with making them individually fucked up and tonight it blew up. bad timing. neither of us could help each other. he got rightfully pissed. i am not upset he got pissed and the one thing he said out of anger was a very true fucking statement that put a big mirror in front of my face.

i realized too that i cannot handle a man having a breakdown. he asked why i always just walk away from him when hes like that? well because i don't know what to do with it and also what if it turns into something else and the man is going nuts on me or taking it out on me? i don't know. i'm very fucked up.

i hate victim mentality bullshit. i try not to put stuff on anyone. so i sweep it away like it's not fucking happening and i got called out on that. i don't know how to be there for him. i can't help it i have ingrained weird ideas. i try just not to be a cunt ok? and i don't know maybe i was one tonight? i don't even know. i apologized for getting loud when i did because i had my earplugs in so didn't realize how loud i was and i also hadn't eaten all day and it was making me hangry so my brain couldn't even process anything until after i ate.

a man shaking and crying on the floor because of me? (or what i perceived as being about me?) all i thought was get away from him because you're hurting him and nothing you do is going to make it better...and then it was like i felt like my mom. that's what she did. no comfort for the crying ones...just walk away until it's over. but i'm not his mommy. i'm his SO. he even said 'i don't want you to baby me or anything, just a little comfort would be nice.' he's right. but again, why are you crying in the first place? i'm selfish so i'm thinking 'wtf i'm a mess...now i have to wonder why you're a mess...wtf' and jfc no....i don't know what the fuck happened.

we need to both get some help with our issues somehow or we're not going to make it if repeats like this keep happening. i can't even call it a fight. it was more just a collective breakdown. he went to bed red eyed and mumbling. i'm up exhausted but numb af.

fucking a.

it's good i'll be gone for a day. give us both some time away just to think. well, he'll be able to anyway, ill be cramped in a car with 7 other people for 18 hours. not that i'm complaining. i've gotta do this to help out with bills and plus now i've got an obligation because my mother keeps putting shit on me and didn't even give me a chance to say no and if i don't make this trip a lot of people are out of money so im basically unable to back out even if wanted to. fuck it. i think i'll finally be able to chill next year. i'm going to make myself anyway. get through holidays. have a good time on our concert trip in january. hopefully by them my SO and i are in better places mentally too.

one hour at a time.

[voidsumbrella]

gonna be obnoxious re: that last post on fandomification; i do think the worst version of that ive been in was the les mis 2012 explosion. the primary fandom source material was already two layers off of the original novel- movie was an alteration* of the musical which was an alteration of the book, which is dense and hard to parse- and then you remove that even further by your interpretation in fanart** and then people who are more interested in engaging with the tropes than the Themes And Narratives lean on those interpretations until the result is something completely divorced and/or directly contradicts the novel.

*said neutrally- you should make the story fit the medium, which will inherently mean changing some aspects, and despite everything i still like the 2012 movie a lot-

**i can... absolutely trace this in lm to two specific artists, who both made work that was simplified for the sake of comedy but recognizably based in the source, and then people took the simplification as gospel.

but no seriously everything ive been Into has the abstraction problem. amnesia's Lore™ is easy to miss, and there were/are a lot of people who watched ppl' lps the game and never actually played it themselves. which is not a inherently a bad thing! survival horror is not a genre for everyone, and the earlier games don't have a story mode and are much harder to digest. but it means their view of the game is already biased, which when added to the fandom tropification machine or just generalized misogyny be normal about justine or ill kill you leads to a lot more shit takes.

yume nikki/fangames run into people hinging their theories on other people's theories being The Only Accurate Read and not something subjective based on symbolic interpretation and the player's actions; metal gear has the curse of being stupidly overcomplicated in difficult to connect ways and very popular with the standard #gamer crowd, who can't fuvking read anyway; asscreed has the same issue but with worse intial writing and a more pointlessly drawn out canon.

ff7 is a shitshow and deserves its own post, which im probably not going to make, because it iiiiis exhausting. its fucking wild how just prioritizing* the original story over the later retcons and thematic contradictions causes ppl to bitch at you for being a Fake Fan™. cant say im big on it.

*those of you who reject the compilation entirely... i salute you, y'all are stronger than god.

anyway. it's healthy to embrace the zen of letting people be wrong on the internet, but boy howdy does it not stop them from being wrong in new and exciting ways. i would study some people in a lab if i thought it wouldn't drive me nuts.

[lookclike]

"they're not that bad." she answered mildly, shrugging. hanging out with her colleagues felt a little bit like trying to fly alongside a flock of migratory birds of another species - you couldn't really tell the difference from a distance, but up close the outsider stood up clear as day. but eliza thought this was mostly her fault, and not theirs. "the parties are really cool. we drink laughable amounts of wine and fight about christopher marlowe... and there's always at least one musical person trying to start a sondheim sing-a-long. it's almost like high school cast parties." not that eliza had experienced many of those. she always preferred having a nice dinner at woodrow after shows rather than going out with the other theatre people.

river's answer about his job made her hum, turning around to stare at him with a questioning expression. "but do you like it? the job, LA..." she then shook her head with laughter, going back to exploring the cupboards. god why were there so many rice cakes... "i hate the beach and i hate driving. the sun is okay, but not all the time. i think you need horrible, stormy and gray weather sometimes, to feel a little sad." melancholia had always been comforting to her in a way, an old tethered blanket she held close and hid in from time to time. it made the soft smiles and calm mood easier to summon when needed. "c'mon, new york is fine." fine. this is how she had been describing most of her life, lately, but it still felt like the best word. wasn't that slightly pathetic? "i like the hustle and bustle, and the closeness of it all. it's like i can see a completely different world through every window." she had this one window neighbor who put red scarfs over every single one of her lamps. it made the apartment look like a flaming heaven from the outside.

"i don't think so, it was the one with a vampire and a werewolf. not really my thing but i liked it a lot." eliza's taste in film tended to gravitate between golden age technicolor pieces and sprawling period movies, preferably adapted from some book. she liked to watch fluffy, escapist stories, and reserved the more raw, complicated and negative emotions for the theatre. she would go insane if everything she watched was grotowski-esque. "aha! there we go!" she said happily, pulling a box of honey nut cheerios. that was the closest to junk food she would probably find in the house. "i know celia and alison do, probably because of the proximity. and well, me. but i think mrs. tristan would rather be caught dead than stock the pantry with pop tarts. even though i would really like a pop tart right now." she pouted slightly, focusing on ripping open the cheerios and eating a fistful of it directly from the box.

River lit the cigarette before responding to Eliza. He usually only received imports after mentioning Richard’s name to producers. So, he was going to savour the opportunity to smoke a fine cigarette with a herbal kick. Even though he was sure Mrs Tristan would somehow sense he was smoking in doors and scold him for it.“You're not spoiled. You're just a classy lady who knows she deserves the finer things in life. There's nothing wrong with that.” If they had this conversation when he was thirteen he would have twisted the knife ; would have made a snide remark about how she always got what she wanted. But the two of them weren't kids anymore. River’s jealousy died years ago and now Richard was dead too so any residual bitterness River felt about not being his favourite ward was pointless.

Growing up he had mixed feelings about Eliza's passion for performing. Eliza was proof that Richard's favouritism was arbitrary and decided for illogical reasons he couldn't control. She and River were both artsy theatrical kids but apparently she had a certain je ne sais quoi River lacked and couldn't achieve if he tried. That was both a frustrating and reassuring realisation to cope with. River's mouth twisted into a small exhausted smile at Eliza's comment about New York art kids. “What's it like dealing with the New York art kids? I've heard they're pretentious and obsessed with a sense of authenticity they'll never achieve. Is that true?” He asked. He moved to LA for school and never looked back. His primary experience of New York Art Kids came from a production of RENT he saw a week before his twenty-second birthday.

River let out a hollow chuckle at Eliza's words. There were parts of his life that were stable but he still didn't feel like a real adult. He definitely didn't feel like a real adult in Woodrow. “Oh please, I surf IMDB then flatter actors by telling them I knew they had potential when I saw them play an unnamed bully stock character. That's hardly a real adult job. It's not like I'm debating international policy.” It didn't sound like it but River was grateful for his frivolous job. He couldn't handle having a job that was monotonous and significant.

River let out another laugh at Eliza's questions. He didn't remember her being this funny. Or maybe he was just looking for an excuse not to feel miserable.He was always looking for an excuse to talk about himself so he was grateful she asked multiple questions at once.“Yup. I haven't had to give up on my dream yet, knock on wood.” River reached over to tap on the kitchen counter. He wasn't particularly superstitious but he wasn't going to risk tempting fate.”Here's a secret the mayor doesn't want you to know; LA isn't as hot as you'd imagine. Your brain just tricks itself into thinking it's hot because it's sunny and in theory it's convenient to go to a beach.” River had been in LA long enough to stop romanticising it but he would never stop romanticising the lack of rain. “It depends on if you find being stuck in traffic for two hours and having people who were in one season of days of our lives twenty years ago cutting in line for coffee dazzling.” His fond tone and small smile were in contrast to his sardonic words. LA was a cutthroat town where dreams went to die but it was also his home. “It is slightly miserable but it can't be more miserable than New York.” Everyone he knew who had worked in New York complained about the rent prices and lack of space. But lucky for Eliza she didn't have to worry about one of those things.

He almost dropped his cigarette when she said she saw one of his movies at the video store. “Are you being serious? I'm having a horrendous day ; you can't joke about something like that.” River had only managed to sell two scripts that were made into complicated movies. It was rare for producers to take a chance on scripts they didn't view as instantly profitable. Often River's ideas were about niche subject matter or made more sense on an emotional level than a narrative level. “I hope it had a girl chasing after a tour bus on the cover. That movie is my magnum opus.” His other movie was a low budget horror comedy about a married couple inconveniently turning into a werewolf and vampire at the same time. The studio ignored that it was an obvious metaphor for a lavender marriage. He stood in confusion while Eliza rummaged for Goldfish Crackers. It took him a second to work out why she was avoiding the buffet. River came to the conclusion she wanted comfort food over food from the funeral. “I'm not sure.” He responded while walking over to join Eliza on her search. “Do you know who visits regularly? They're probably too sophisticated for Goldfish Crackers. It can't hurt to check though. Mrs Tristan might have a secret fondness for them we don't know about.”

[muns0nslov3r]

doin something unholy.

warning : innocentfem!reader,perv!eddie, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (fem &me receiving), slight Christian reader, teasing, mentions of breeding,choking, and a lot of dirty things, daddy kink, praise kink.

minors pls dni.

——————————🕍🔞———————

you had got out of mass looking around for your bestfriend Eddie, your cross necklace laying on your clothed breasts, your skirt barely covering your plump flesh of your ass, you noticed eddie slightly waving to you as he held a cigarette in his fingers. You ran to him giggling “eds!!” you smiled “hey doll how was mass?” He asked fixing your hair trying his best to keep his eyes up. “it was super good! you know just normal stuff but it was fun” 

you smile, your scent  going into Eddie’s nose making him bite his bottom lip. he loves everything about you, your scent. you, your body. your smile your laugh everything. how perfect you are. how perfect your body is. wanting to see your body spread on his bed as he abuses your poor tight cunt.

he knew you were innocent, that you we’re a virgin. he wanted to change that so badly. to fuck you. own you. he wanted to fuck you anywhere. on his desk, bed, the couch, the table, the sink, the school desk, the church’s benches, anything. fucking your tight cunt, making you become a mess all over his cock.

he needed it so bad. as he drove you to your house smiling as you hummed the songs on the radio playing with your cross necklace. that made Eddie go nuts. you made eddie feel like a god. wanting to watch you worship his cock. worship him.  He got out of his thoughts as you grabbed his hand when he wasn’t paying attention.

“eds..be careful please” your voice was sweet as you held his hand,  feeling his rough skin against your soft skin. you smiled as he nodded driving still. as he parked at your place dropping you off as he watched you get inside safe and sound. driving off.

—————

——————

you were reading as you felt your cunt feel strange. A feeling you’ve felt before but never did anything about it. you always asked your friend and she would simply reply with “ oh your just turned on” she smiled, turned on? You never knew what that meant sense your parents never spoke about sex.

or being turned on. so you were confused, your friend told you this story how her and her boyfriend had sex. that’s why she wore a scarf around her neck as her cheeks were flushed.

showing you the little marks still slightly there. “ why did you do that? you know it’s bad. You aren’t even married!” you said as she covered your mouth “ shut up! there’s gotta be someone you would like to fuck at least.” she said rolling her eyes.

once she said that you saw Eddie’s pretty face in your mind. Flustered at the thought, you kept reading still thinking about the memory as you sighed looking around for something as you spotted your sweet brown teddy bear that Eddie gifted you, it smelt like him.

you felt bad for what you were going to do as you put it between your thighs. your clothed cunt grinding against the soft fur as you moaned whimpering a little as you let out little gasps.  the coil in your stomach builded up. making you worry as you stopped. losing your up coming orgasm as you sighed rubbing your eyes.

——————

it was the next day as you and eddie were watching a movie while eddie rubbed your thigh. your parents were gone on a business trip, your core feeling that overwhelming feeling again. “c-could you not touch me please” you sighed looking down at the ground as you moved slightly. As he put his hand off of you. The feeling making you want Eddie’s touch.

you let out a sigh as Eddie looked over at you. not caring for the movie as you let out little hiccups “ doll are you okay?” you were sobbing as he looked at you hugging you “what’s wrong?” he asked as you were a mumbling overwhelmed mess. Holding onto him as he listened closing “it feels..*sniff* weird down t-there..” you sobbed as Eddie looked at you.

“ how? how does it feel doll?” he looked at you wiping your tears away “ it feels..so warm and w-wet down there..” you sobbed looking at him. his cheeks flushed as you looked at him, “ is t-that normal..” you sniffled as he nodded. “ it’s completely normal doll. It happens to me too” he mumbled kissing your tear stained cheek .

“it does..?” you fixed your hair as he nodded “ there’s a way to get rid of it.” he smiled “ can you show me? or or..at least help me.” you looked into his eyes as he nodded fast “oh of course” he smirked rubbing your thigh as he got on his knees by the couch.

spreading your pretty legs to look at your pj shorts covering the good view as he pulled them down kissing your inner thighs. You moaned a little as you watched him remove the clothes that covered your bottom half. Getting the perfect view of your pussy. wanting to praise it as he smiled kissing the bud of your clit making you jolt. 

you stared at his eyes as they seemed darker then normal as he put a finger between your folds moving it up and down to get your wetness on his finger rubbing your cunt as you sighed leaning your head back. rubbing in slow circles as you whimpered a little, as he slowly slid a finger inside your soaked cunt. A moan leaving your parted lips.

his finger went slow not wanting to rush and accidentally hurt you. kissing around your cunt or on it. his soft lips against your puffy pussy lips, licking up and down tasting your lovely flavour. sucking on the bud making you let out a whiney moan. Feeling your gummy walls clench, around his finger. making him suck harder as he moved his ringed finger deeper.

letting the cold metal touch your cunt. As you grinded against his face gripping onto his curly hair. tangling your fingers as you let out breathy moans tugging at eddies hair as he went to town on your cunt. never wanting to stop eating you out.  You felt the coil in your stomach as he added another finger making you gasp. “eds..” You moaned “yeah doll?” “M-my stomach feels weird..” You moan looking at the metalhead.

‘How?” he looked up at you, “it feels like I have to p-pee..” “Let it go princess okay? Your doing so good” he smiled as you nodded. Once the coil in your stomach builded up more you let it snap. Making you let out a whiney moan as you arched your head back, cum getting on eddies fingers as he pulled them out tasting you as he moaned slightly. He stood up looking at you as he smiled kissing your neck.

Making you whimper “eds..I-i.. i want to have sex with you..” You moaned as he kept kissing your neck as he could feel himself  get harder. His cock twitching in his pants, taking off your pj top. Showing your pretty pink bra that had a little bow on it. Taking it off as he kissed your collarbone going down to your breasts. You hands moved all over his body touching his harden cock as he moaned slightly against your sensitive bud.

Unbuckling his pants. Seeing the nice bulge in his boxers as you blushed sitting up as you pulled his pants down as well his boxers too, mouth watering at the sight rubbing it a little the tip leaking like crazy. You licked the tip tasting the salty precum, his cock was nice. It was thick. It was cut, the tip was a pretty pink colour. Sucking on the tip trying to remember what your friend taught you as you hollowed your cheeks taking more of eddies length. Letting out a groan as Eddie touched your body.

Moving your tongue around the tip looking at him. As his eyes were half opened mouth parted as he let out breathy moans. “ jesus..where did you learn this holy shit..” He arched his head back “ practice” you giggled sucking more as his thighs shook a little stroking the part you couldn’t fit into your mouth as he groaned “ s-stop” he lifted your head up “did I do something?..” You worried. “ you didn’t do anything jus..dont want to cum yet.” He giggled kissing your lips. He picked you up setting you on his lap.

As he took off his shirt kissing you as you held his face gently moaning into each others mouth, as he slid his cock into your cunt making you gasp and jolt from being sensitive as he started bouncing you on his lap making your hips move as you moaned breathing fast as you looked down seeing blood “ I’m b-bleeding..” You moaned at the feeling starting to feel pain. “ I know.. do you want to stop?” He looked at you rubbing your cheek.

You shook your head as he smirked moving you up and down slowly as you grabbed onto his shoulders jerking your hips a little. Looking at eddies body as you stared at his happy trail when you jerked your hips, your clit rubbed against his pubic hair as he groaned feeling you clench around him as you moaned tears slowly building up in your eyes as he gripped your hips. “ m-more..” You whined as Eddie got on top of you thrusting his hips as you whimpered gripping onto eddies back.

clawing at his back as he thrusted his hair sticking to the back of his sweaty neck. You felt the coil come back into your stomach as Eddie felt you tighten as he pushed down onto your lower stomach as you whined cumming around eddies cock as he kept going helping you ride out of your high as he reached his own, as he came inside moaning. He thrusted slowly riding out his high too as he pulled out of your sore cunt as he grabbed a cloth wetting it as he came back cleaning up the mess.

Cleaning you and him up as your body felt like jello. Putting on your guys clothes as you held onto Eddie “ I love you. So much princess.” Eddie whispered smiling “ I love you to Eddie.”

[starrrlights]

Untill I make you mine

Movie : zombies

Pairing : Zed x gn reader

Warnings : mutual pinning, curse words, long af, slow ish burn friends to lovers,

Summary : being more then friends with Zed seems like a fantasy, but maybe dreams do come true

A/n : you and Zed are basically "flirty friends."

Favorite color - f/c

Favorite drink - f/d

Favorite flavor - f/f

Any toppings - a/ts

^ means humming the song

…………………………………….…………��….

It was like every other day, same boring classes and the same people over and over again. And it was driving you nuts.

Staying in the same spot you have always been in, hearing the teacher blabbering and yapping about some world famous inventer. You could hear other people's boredom from the other side of the room. About to knock yourself unconscious, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you see the famous green haired zombie and best friend; Zed.

"yea?" Even though you hated your teacher, you did not want to have detention. So whispering will have to do.

"having fun?" You wanted to slap his pretty little face of his but you held back.

"yea, this class is so great. I wish it wouldn't end". You spat out sarcastically. Giving Zed a quick check out, you put out a stupid little grip. " So how is you doing, looking unbelievably handsome everyday?" giving a wink, you quickly notice the slight blush on zeds cheeks.

Zed bit his bottom lip, trying to show what you had done to him.

'im doing unbelievably well. Thank you very much." Setting his chin on his palm and smiling.

'God his smile is so damn cute.' smiling, and turning around. You finally broke. Your face becoming hot and putting on a shit eating grin. You liked that boy so much, but you new best friend-crush would never like you back.

…

Love wasn't the word to describe what Zed felt for you. Starstruck? Whipped? Mesmerized? All he knows is that he had fallen hard. You were out of his league! Every time you told him that you were serious that no one had a crush on you, he wanted to slap you gorgeous face and tell how he felt to you.

But that would never end the way he would like. Would you reject him? Would you laugh in his face and make him the laughing stock?

I mean, he 'knew' that you didn't like him the same way. He swear you had feelings for Wyatt when to guys met. Even though Wyatt and Addison are the founders and leaders of the 'zedxy/n' club

But maybe he had one chance on confessing and that was tonight.

…

You were walking over to the front doors to feel freedom, but only to be stopped by Zed.

"can we hang out later? We don't have homework and I believe you're free."

"yea sure. 5:30?"

"yea, I'll meet you at your place"

"alright then, see you!"

…

Zed had texted you saying how you were having a bonfire. And would be staying the night in his dad's camper that he had borrowed. The weather for tonight would be clear and mosquitoes won't bother you by the fire so you were excited.

Packing your stuff in you bag was easy. Hoodie, sweatpants, and a change of clothes. (And whatever else you want). It was 5:00. So you had time.

You were sitting on your porch swing when you see a familiar car park in front of your house. You quickly got up from your seat to greet zed.

"Hey darlin' " wiggling his eyebrows, you giggle and shake your head.

"Don't call me darlin' " your chest hurt at your own words. Of course you wanted to be called darlin', but it seemed to much like a joking manner then you wanted it to be.

"Well, I will call you darlin' and everything will be okay"

You rolled your eyes and gestured to his car.

' Cause I know that I am yours and you are mine '

"We going somewhere or no?" Zed snapped out of his thoughts and looked at you.

" yea, yeah. Hold on"

...

' Doesn't matter anyway, He doesn't ever like me more then a friend'

Zed had let you change in to p.j's in the camper. Hoping that you weren't taking long. You Finnish and pick up the clothes you wore earlier. Baggy shorts and a t-shirt. Not the best to protect yourself from mosquitoes.

Zed said that later in the night, we'll take a walk, it's nothing funny, Just to talk.

But you feel like there's more to that.

You open the campers door and walk outside to see that zed was gone and there was a fire with 2 chairs by it. Figured that he probably is in the camper or getting more wood at a near by store.

You go sit in the f/c chair and zone out. Tapping your foot and staring at the fire out of boredom. Only to feel a hand on your shoulder. You snap your head to the direction of the hands owner only to see zed.

"You scared me" you breath in and out before turning around and to see if you have you phone in you pocket or not. Hearing a shuffle and a chair squeak. Your eyes look up to see zed in a tank top, gray sweatpants and his somewhat oversized letterman jacket. The sight takes your breath away, only realizing you staring.

You find you phone in your left pocket. You quickly make it look like you were busy only to feel eyes on you. Not raising your head. Your eyes follow back to zed again. Only now his eye were looking at you. Omg, he was checking you out. Not in a perverted way btw

You two quickly look away only to feel hot in the face.

'Crap'

...

'She caught me, crap!'

Zeds plan had not went to plan. He wanted to see if you wanted to get ice cream in the diner near by. But never knew how to bring it up.

' fuck it '

"Y/n, you want to go to the diner for icecream?"

You look at him, and smile.

"Sure, why not"

...

The car ride was somewhat awkward. You rested your arm on the center counsel. Having your hand raised in the air.

Zed kept glancing at the hand. He wanted to hold your hand so bad.

'Please let me put your hand in mine. I want You to know that I want to be with you all the time. I want You to know that I won't stop until I make you mine'

Zed parks the car in front of the diner and you both pile out.

You open the door and a wind of sweets and food hit you.

"Omg, it smells so good in here" you walk over to a booth in the corner by the candy section. You could never get used to this smell.

"HI, I will be your server for today. Do you know what you want to drink?" A woman , looking like she was in her early 20's asked. Holding out 2 menus.

"Uh, f/d please." So say, quickly opening to the dessert section on the menu.

"Lemonade please" zed answers. Slowly opening the menu to look through.

"Alright, I'll be back when I have your drinks" the waitress walked away to do her job and you had already knew what you wanted. F/f with a/ts.

"Let me guess, you're getting vanilla with vanilla?" You joke, knowing that's all zed gets.

"Yeah, yeah. Joke all you want". He laughs and your heart flutters. 'Damn' was all you thought while looking at zed. You broke into a grin and laugh.

You both get your drinks and order your ice-cream.

You pull out you phone and scroll on your feed. Trying to be occupied unstead of waiting 8-15 minutes for your ice cream.

The speakers start playing a song you recognize. 'Make you mine' was the song. The song you wish to sing but that would, 1: be embarrassing, and 2: stupid. You could never. And you couldn't sing to save your life.

You slowly start tapping your foot to the beat and then start humming.

^You know that I won't stop until I make you mine, Until I make you mine. Well, I have called you darlin' and I'll say it again, again. So kiss me 'til I'm sorry, babe, that you are gone and I'm a mess^

"-And I'll hurt you and you'll hurt me and we'll say things we can't repeat"

Zed whispers the lyrics. Glancing at you to keep humming.

^" Put your hand in mine. You know "that I want to be with you all the time""

You say, trying to not gain attention from the workers and the other customers ever if there weren't a lot of them.

" You know that I won't stop until I make you mine."

You try to keep your eyes on your phone but It was hard

"You know that I won't stop until I make you mine,You need to know we'll take it slow, I miss you so we'll take it slow "

You swallow your own saliva. Only hoping that this song will never end

" It's hard to feel you slipping (You need to know) Through my fingers are so numb (We'll take it slow)"

You start to feel hot and your palms are sweaty. Why are like this?

Until I make you mine. Put your hand in mine

"And how was I supposed to know (I miss you so) That you were not the one?. Put your hand in mine."

You know that I want to be with you all the time

You know that I won't stop until I make you mine

You know that I won't stop until I make you mine

You know that I want to be with you all the time

Your guys slowly sing quieter by every word. Sadly the song had to end soon

Oh darlin', darlin', baby, you're so very fine

Your heart fluttered hard. You looked at the table in embarrassment

You know that I won't stop until I make you mine

Until I make you-"

You were cut of by soft lips on your own. What.

Your eye finally adjust to see zed. He pulls away and you felt speechless. You opened your mouth to talk but you train of thoughts kept you quiet.

Zed was worse. Not only all that but was having 2nd thoughts. 'What if you rejected him?' 'What if you hate him after this?' 'What if-'

"I like you zed, I have for a while now. And I just thought you should know" you blurt out. Looking any where then zed.

"I..I like you too. Every since you stood up for the zombies on the first say of high-school. You made me feel like I belonged here and wasn't an outcast. I felt loved and honored when I was with you. Even if your little brother hates me"

you laugh and the last part. You smile and grab his hand from the table.

" you free next Saturday? We can you to the amusement park opening on Saturday "

"He'll yeah" you both laugh and you notice to large glass cups of icecream coming your way.

"Here you two go. Sorry for the wait" the waitress put down the icecream and the check.

"Holler if you need anything." She smile and walks away.

"Cheers to being accepted to Mountain College?"

You take a scoop of your icecream and raise it in the air.

"Cheers" zed mimics your actions and you bump spoons. Then eating the scoop of icecream.

"Hmm~" you loved you icecream. You wouls never replace it. You look at zed 's and feel bad

"do you ever get sick of just vanilla?"

Zed looks at you confused but quickly replaced by a smirk.

"Can I have some of yours then?" Your face feels hot but you replace his cocky attitude with you own

"Sure, but I doubt it will be good as you."

Now it was zed turn to feel hot on the face.

...

An hour had pasted. Your iCecreams were gone and finished. You sat in zed side of the booth and talked on what you had planed for college and after.

The diner had to almost kick you to out to close.

But zed he knew a place where you could see stars better. So you payed and left. The rest of the night was a blur. But waking up in the morning next the best thing ever <3

[appatary8523]

I don't know what part was the apology and the diplomatic discussion, you blocking me or harrasing me for a character I like. If your friend was killed I'm so sorry for your loss, but I highly doubt Ernesto (pretty clear, a fictional character) was related, or responsable of it.

A friend of mine was killed in a car accident and I'm not hating on Lighting McQueen for promoting speeding and reckless driving, because he's just a fictional character. Seek therapy, I'm sure there are plenty of thanatologists willing to help you with your loss.

I don't know why you keep bringing God to this, and trust me, if you claim he sees everything he's seeing you spreading lies. I dare you to give proof of what I've said to you, of how I insulted you and your friends. I know you won't be presenting anything, you're empty handed because I've done nothing. You mean nothing to me, I was so happy when you blocked me because I was finally free from your bullshit.

It's important to call you out by who you are, because you're a problematic being who brings nothing but problems and conflict. THIS MESSAGE YOU SENT ME is proof, out of nowhere you decided to unblock me just to annoy. You claim to say you're over it, but it doesn't seems like, you can't just let go, you are the one roping me back to this bullshit because I don't like a pathetic character from a dumb movie.

And I'm not spreading lies, what I said is no lie, folks in the Coco fandom can back me up about the Zine. As for the Facebook thing, it turns out I have this screenshot from 2020. Of course, you deleted it because you're a coward who doesn't know how to deal with the consequences of your actions.

I also want to know who your informer is, who is the one telling you the things that I supposedly said. They're lying to you, they're manipulating you.

I can't believe you call your blog "a safe space" when you're such a toxic person. That's why everybody kicked you out of their Discord servers, you're unbearable, it's impossible to deal with you. You keep acting like a kid. For God's sake, YOU'RE 42, GROW UP.

And if you keep hearing me talking shit about you and your friends behind your back, go to the psychiatrist, because I'm saying nothing. Is just that you're nuts.

ENCANTO FANDOM, BE CAREFUL WITH HECTIC-HECTOR

Long story short, this person is delusional. She blocked me like a year ago (or two? I can't recall) for not liking Encanto, and I thought that would be it, but this night she unblocked me just to send me a message, saying things that I cannot comprehend, talking about God seeing me talk trash about her and her "friends" because, apparently, she has some informant who told her so.

This is not the first time I'm aware she makes drama out of thin air, only to harass people. She has done it before in the Coco fandom, she's very problematic and tends to think she's in the right, feeling attacked for no reason, thinking you hurt his friends just for breathing, so she keeps bothering you forever. She went as far as to go to a Coco group IN FACEBOOK to complain about someone, trying to make people hate someone she didn't liked just because how spiteful she is. And in other occasion she harrased the mods of a non-profit Zine to lower the prices, even knowing the proceeds would be donated to charity.

I don't like the movie, but that's pretty much it, if you like it that's great for you. I don't check the movie tags and I don't tag ANYTHING with it, I don't talk about it because I simply don't care about Encanto, I don't have time to annoy people over things they like just to make them think like me. You don't bother me, I don't bother you, but she doesn't seems to understand it that way. Apparently, not liking Encanto is something I must feel ashamed of.

Be careful with her, do not interact with her if possible, she may get offended for things you never even said.