#GOD I HAVE SO MANY FICS TO FINISH
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Sonadow Fic Rec
Okay, before you jump down to the masterpieces listed below, I just wanted to state this:
These authors have given this phenomenal content for free, baked with time and effort. I have never once ignored this, hence why I try and comment on each and every one of these fics. However, my energy and ability to be verbose differs day to day. Some of these fics I have not given proper comments for, despite this, I will be on it the moment I can be. In the time being, (once I am able to find my comments on each of these fics) I will be sharing my adoration for them further in other posts (and most likely link back to this one).
With that being said, please, PLEASE take your time to check each of these fics out. If they're not your cup of tea? Valid! But hands down I have never dedicated myself to making a fic rec like this until now. But I MUST share and spread these works, they are much too dear to me not to, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
(All fics are listed by order saved in my bookmarks, not in the order read)
tangled threads and bite-marked shoulders by @rubyiiiusions
Words: 32,287 | Series | Complete
Shadow hissed in pain. The laser had just grazed him, but it still stung, and he instinctively gripped the wound it left on his arm. āYou dare-ā He stopped. The laser hadnāt hit him. In fact, it had struck Sonic, right on his lower left arm. So why did his forearm feel like it just got shot? He whipped around, fear climbing up his throat, and he suddenly became hyper-aware of something new. It was like a sixth sense, feeling the confusion that emitted from Sonicās fur in waves as if it was his own. āWhat did you do?!ā Shadow snarled. or, eggman accidentally soulbinds shadow and sonic, and no one has any idea how to undo it.
Sleepwalking by Tirainy
Words: 22,117 | Complete
'There is a strong arm curled around his torso, the appendage keeping him close to its owner, whose warm breath is ghosting over the back of his neck. Sonic is sure he went to bed alone the previous night, but he isn't worried about the intruder. After all, this isn't the first time this has happenedā¦'
Secret Admirer by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 24,313 | Complete
Sonic understood well what it meant to be loved. He was a world-famous hero, after all; his presence never went unnoticed. For the most part, he lavished in that attention, he soaked it in and encouraged it. But not romantic attention. So, when the blue blur found himself falling in love? Well, the prospect was rather daunting, no matter how easy Amy had made it out to be. So maybe, just maybe, he should just take the easy way out...
Rose Drops Series by @magicstormfrostfire
Words: 122,489 | Series | Complete
Love, Intuition, and a little bit of magic ensues as Amy sends Sonic and Shadow on an unforgettable adventure.
Wolfboy by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 73,856 | Complete
World-famous monster hunter Shadow the Hedgehog has a job to do. It doesn't take long for the one-shot wonder to realize that this job won't be as simple as he'd expected: a small town, rumors of a lone werewolf, and a handsome, green-eyed, chronically-injured casanova who manages to worm his way into Shadow's heart... What starts off as a simple job turns out to be something much more life-changing.
Blizzard Bedfellows by @magicstormfrostfire
Words: 21,294 | Complete
When a rare blizzard takes over the island, Sonic is on the run to make sure a certain angry loner is safe and sound. Y-you know, because...uh that's what heroes do.
We never met but can we have a cup of coffee or something? by @whitejungle
Words: 3,630 | Complete
It's been almost two months since Sonic lost someone he didn't even know, but he can't stop thinking about it.
Clean Slate by nottheweirdest
Words: 155,880 | Complete | Note: Squeal pending and I am cheering you on author!! Whatever you decide I am excited to support you!!
Shadow has lost himself before. He knows what it's like to straddle the line between reality and false memories, but this time, itās Sonic whose memory has vanished. A premeditated set of circumstances and an accidental injury leave Sonic with no memory of who he is, his life, or more importantly, his painful history with Shadow. Itās up to Shadow to remind the hero who he is in the midst of a global outbreak. Itās a chance for redemption. Itās a chance to right the wrongs of the past. Itās a clean slate.
say i reckon (i love you, for a millisecond) by @redamancering
Words: 30,205 | Complete
Thereās a hand on his shoulder, barely making contact. A red gauntlet glows around the wrist. Sonic blinks, the pain having evaporated so fast he feels almost weightless. āShadow?ā Shadowās breathing heavily. āProblem.ā The retrieval of the ancient tech Shadow (and Sonic, in tow) has been sent to uncover takes a turn for the worst. In this case, the āworstā meansā¦ becoming physically and inextricably linked to each other. For the foreseeable future. OR: Metaphysical handcuffs, and general gay buffoonery.
Judge my sins, not my feelings by yellothebeeloved
Words: 228,479 | Complete | Note: Possible one-shots pending from the author for the series, I am here to support you author!! What ever you decide I'm here for it!
Maybe he's not meant to touch. It's the newest excuse he thought of in hopes that he could prolong the game a little more; a careful ruse to enjoy the bittersweet torture of seeing the days pass them by, while he pretends he doesn't seek azure blue whenever he's restless. At first, all he wanted to do was watch: but now the desire to touch, to have, to affect is at a point where he's not sure whether reaching for Sonic would truly be fruitless. He wonders that especially when Sonic's eyes light up upon seeing him. When he corners Shadow, when he invades his space and he touches and takes and then excuses it by calling it a fight. Shadow truly wonders then: if only he was brave enough to reach out, what would his grip find? Loose stars or a battle-worn body? Standing up, he glances at Sonic again, whose eyes have now met his own. There's something heavy in the eye contact, something Shadow doesn't dare name. Neither of them say anything, and yet Sonic's eyes move away from him again, like they did. Shadow warps away, hiding from the stars once more.
Child of Prophecy by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 139,321 | Completed
On the night the Mobius Castle was ransacked, the Queen received a prophecy. āOne of three will not cry; send him down the river, for you can only save your kingdom if he does not grow up royal.ā
Coming Home by nottheweirdest
Words: 55,740 | Completed
Shadow's life has been full of mistakes, some worse than others, but admitting his unrequited feelings to Sonic tops the list. He's spent the better part of a decade ruminating on his regret and hiding from feelings he couldn't bear to face. He never thought he'd see Sonic again, and he told himself that was for the best. Until now. At the bequest of his former rival, and in an attempt to finally get closure, Shadow has returned to Central City. The reason? Sonic the Hedgehog is marrying Amy Rose. And Shadow is invited.
#I hope you all understand how many of these I have been in call reading to my friends#How many I have tried to draw shadow and sonic for#how many of them inspire my own writing#How I have dreamed about these fics so often I wouldn't be suprised if it rivaled my time fighting sleep to finish them in mere days#Also the AMOUNT of times I've wanted to pull out my microphone and read them aloud#Even though I would be absolutely horrible at reading them like audio books but you know what? fuck it#For these fics I would read them aloud the best I can#GOD JUST#I cant imagine a world where I never read these and its scary to think if they were never shared#Mostly because they actually genuinely impacted me in meaningful ways#I've cried real tears and felt such genuine emotion that I've been changed#Even if it's int he smallest bit#But it happened ya know?#Just- god I love you fic authors sm#Your work is never lost not to me#fox speaks#sonadow#fic#fic rec#fanfiction#writing#fanfic#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow#sonic fanfiction#sonic underground#sonic universe#sonic prime
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letās do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo
this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, likeā¦at all.
this goes into a few things
1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol
2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really donāt think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably couldāve been worked on by talking becameā¦*cough romk* escalated.
3. honestly i wouldnāt be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldnāt feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol
vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)
unmaskingāyeah im taking the mask thing very literally hereāis a big deal and a very slow process for mk. iām sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, yāknow, see him.
i canāt say i think heād ever fully ditch itāthereās always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.
it really is about vulnerability. granted, i donāt think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. canāt fake a smile but also canāt hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirbyās face.
just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what heās feeling before heās ready for them to (or even understands it himselfā¦) yeah he doesnāt want that
but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims
remember that whole āsuppressing your feelingsā thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isnāt a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible
1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. theyāre usually a good indicator of how heās feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.
2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time heās excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thingā¦ (iād say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so itās not necessarily a bad thing)
3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumblingā¦all that
one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo
(look at him and his magically floating glasses)
sensory stuffāi think heās mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. heās pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.
the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. itās a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.
i think he would like pressure though. so thatās probably part of it. and iām pretty sure thereās some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)
anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but heās in tune enough to express itā¦usually.
this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirbyās so energetic, itās hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.
yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels
this is the conclusion i promise
to me, metaās arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things heās always wanted to doā¦
autism headcanons are fun for me because itās cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! thatās a dynamic thatās a lot of fun to play with, and itās at the heart of my kirby interpretation.
if you actually read all this WOW thank you
#i almost considered not posting this on a wednesday but then i wrote everything and uhhh yeah i think i gotta so#happy cringe day wednesday#for as many notes as i have on these characters i really donāt talk about it much#but meta knight is a special case because i am terrible at subtlety and he wouldnāt be meta knight without it#so this is to contextualize some things#because of what ill have in the next few days haha#basically these are just things i consider when writing meta#but a lot of it is subtextual and i dont know how well it comes across#kirbyposting#kirby#meta knight#headcanons#autism headcanon#this is practically an essay lol oops#i have like 2/3 of a fic that explores most of this in a way i probably wonāt do again#but weāll see if i ever finish it#god kirby concepts are so fun to chew on#i overthink everything i make so much lol
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me wide awake at 3am and running on fumes: MegOP AU...Hades and Persephone...OP is Persephone and Megatron is Hades perhaps...haha just kidding...UNLESS?????
(no but seriously the thought started off as like, a crack fic idea but the more I think about it the more it weirdly makes sense?? like, Orion Pax = Kore and Optimus Prime = Persephone, and there's already a whole life and death thing going on with how often OP dies and comes back to life lmao. so that kind of suits him actually
and Megatron is Hades because...come the fuck on do I even need to say why lol. man spreads death everywhere he goes. and Alpha Trion can be both Zeus and Demeter for Orion. or he's basically Zeus but not horny, either works)
#fuck i should not be thinking about this too hard i already have so many other fic ideas and a fic i need to finish AAAHH#kinda makes me want to assign other tf characters to other greek gods but i dunno about the rest lol#transformers#megop#maccadams
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i need to go fucking crazy over house again
#getting increasingly scared of houseposting though because i think my opinions are getting more and more controversial#donāt know who changed me or the fandom but idk#i do need to go crazy. rewatch was conked on the head by moving to uni i havenāt been Into it and itās annoying me#need to get that shit back i need to lose my mind again#also have so many edits i need to post here#and i was working on a fic maybe i should try finish that#need to worm it back into my head i need it god#+
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SSBDAY2 | Time Capsule
During spring cleaning with the Uzumaki, Sarada unexpectedly comes across a picture that Nanadaime took post-mission after seeing how Sasuke n Sakura fell asleep like that<3
#naruto#sasusaku#uchiha sarada#ssfam#STILLā¦ CANNOT BELIVEE I DREW THIS WHOLE ASS COMIC HOLU SHITā¦.#sscomic era is so real#im so proud :ā#I have more comic plannedā¦ for ssbpd weekā¦#whether Iāll finish themā¦ lol is the question#but so excited teehee#I love ss so much T.T#I love that panel where they are just. resting against so much gah itās so sOFT and came out so well im so happy#been staring at it for hours n sobbing cuz SASUSAKUUUU#god I love them so much#kinda planned to write a fic with this but cba. maybeā¦. in the future#also realised I have So Many ideas thatās just. sarada finding pictures of her parents together in diff timesā¦. maybe that should be a#series <3#lil Easter egg for Sarada ^^ collecting all of these pictures š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ
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so upset that I can feel my terror hyperfixation fading just as thereās a joplittle resurgence building someone throw me back into it please
#Iām gonna take a little rest and see if it helps#Iāve been so burnt out the last few months it could have nothing to do with the terror at all tbh#I do still have one big fic finished and being edited at least#but God I have so many WIPs I want to work on and I just#am deep into my wwii boys#the adhd needs the New Interest Dopamine real bad rn
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Tom Riddle AU -- snippet
Tom couldnāt stand it a moment longer. He grabbed his cloak and apparated out of the rundown flat. He arrived in Hogsmeade under the cloak of night. The lights of Hogwarts were still lit. It wasnāt yet curfew.Ā
Tom raised his hood over his head. He made his way to the edge of the forest, where he knew the entrance to the secret passage lay hidden. He cast the password and slipped through the tree. Spiral stone steps led him down the tree and beneath the earth.Ā
He lit his wand and strode through the passageway. It was dank and crumbling. Clearly, no other students had found it in some time. Then he reached the collapsed ceiling and realised his mistake. The passageway was blocked.
Tom cursed under his breath. He waved his wand and muttered a few spells. The stone bent under his power. The stone groaned as it shifted into a jagged and dangerous looking archway. Tom passed through the passage and continued onwards.Ā
Eventually, he reached another set of steps that led him up into the castle. A large painting popped open and Tom entered Hogwarts.
The warmth of the castleās magic greeted him like an old friend. It took him back to the years he had spent as a professorās assistant here. It had been an enlightening experience for him to be able to live in his home without the pressures and eyes of his Slytherin peers.
Tom took a moment to breathe in the familiar magic. Another twinge of pain cut through him. He hissed in annoyance. Time to get rid of this problem once and for all.Ā
He hurried through the nearly empty halls, following the thread of magic towards the origin of his problems. He side-stepped into a classroom and waited for the magic to grow closer. He heard the clicking of boots against stone and small sniffles. He peered through the sliver of light to see a girl walking through the hallway alone. She was cradling her hand to her chest.
The pain. She was injured.
Tomās annoyance tripled. Was she too stupid to go to the Hospital Wing? He bit back a growl and waited for her to pass by the classroom. The second she was past, Tom silently sprung from his hiding place. He wrapped a hand around her mouth to smother her scream of surprise as his other hand clamped down on the wrist of her injured hand. He smoothly drew her back into the dark classroom and closed the door behind him.
He wordlessly and wandlessly cast a notice-me-not on the door as well as a silencio. The girl's scream into his hand was muffled.
āQuiet,ā he snapped and raised her hand for inspection.Ā
There was a scar on her hand. I must respect my superiors. A blood quill. Tomās lip curled.
āDonāt scream,ā he hissed and released his hand from her mouth.
The girl spun around, wand out and pointed at his throat. He still held her wrist tightly in his hand. Tom looked down and met the eyes of the girl he knew was a descendent of his in this reality, at the very least. The moment he took her in, he knew she was his daughter.
She had his dark eyes and equally dark curls. They had the same mouth and chin. She looked so much like him. More importantly, she looked like her. The stubborn tilt of her chin and the fire in her eyes. A Gryffindor through and through.
āLet go of me,ā she hissed at him.
āWhere did you get this scar?ā
āThatās none of your business.ā
āI think youāll find,ā he responded as he took a step closer, āit is.ā
Her eyes flickered and then widened. āItās you. The new person in the magic.ā
He raised a dark eyebrow at her. āYou can differentiate the persons in the family magic? Iād say itās impressive, but the only other person is a ragged mess.ā
āIt hurts,ā she confessed softly.
āYes,ā he drawled, āI imagine it does.ā He nodded to the nearest desk. āNow sit so I can heal your hand.ā
Her eyes narrowed. He released her wrist and she cautiously took a seat. He pulled out the chair beside hers and held out his hand. She eyed him warily.
āWho are you?ā
āSomeone annoyed by this constant pain in my magic because you refuse to go see a healer. Now, give me your hand.ā
Her lips twisted. Finally, she gave him her hand. She was entirely too trusting. If he were her father ā which he was not ā heād have scolded her firmly for that. But she did not belong to him. Not really.
Tom pulled a pouch from his pocket and summoned a collection of healing supplies from within. She gasped lightly.
āIs that an undetectable extension charm?ā
āIt is.ā
āTheyāre illegal.ā
His dark eyes flickered up to meet hers. āOnly if you get caught.ā
She pursed her lips, amused but trying to look like she was disapproving. Her mother used to do the same thing. The thought cut through Tomās chest. He returned to the task at hand. He wasnāt going to stay here. He wasnāt going to get involved. He was already breaking every rule in the book by interacting with her at all.
āDoes Minerva know about this?ā
āProfessor McGonagall?ā Her shoulders relaxed at the mention of the older witch.Ā
Tom looked up. āWell?ā
She shook her head. āSheās at St. Mungoās. Umbridge cast four stunners to her chest.ā
āWhat?ā Tom hissed, voice filled with ice.
Her eyes widened. She swallowed visibly. āUmbridge is in charge now.ā
āShe did this?ā He raised her half healed hand.
She nodded.
Tom made a noise of disgust. āThis world is a mess.ā
āWho are you?ā she asked again.
He didnāt respond as he gently wrapped her hand.Ā
āIām Hermione.ā
Hermione. Shakespeare. God, he was so predictable. Such a beautiful name. A powerful character. A queen.Ā
āI didnāt ask,ā Tom seethed, furious with himself for being so weak. He never should have come here. He never should have given in like this. The sight of her face and the feel of her soft, warm magic would haunt him until the day he died.
#i don't think anyone knows how much i love writing tom riddle#i love him so much#he's such a great character#any of my stories involving him haven't been finished yet#or even made it that far into the story#but god#i have so many#celestialseawitch#harry potter#fanfic#fanfiction#hermione granger#fan fiction#fan fic#hp fanfic#tom riddle#lord voldemort
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Me: //brushing up on my old Paperhat fanfics to make sure I'm getting details right for the new one//
Me @ my past readers:
#paperhat#villainous#OP#HOW DID ANYBODY ENJOY THESE??? LMFAO#THE GRAMMAR IS AWFUL I REPEATED SO MANY PHRASES WAY TOO MUCH WTF#SO MANY UNNECESSARY EPITHETS#THE CRINGE DIALOGUE#WTF#THE AMOUNT OF BULLFUCKINGSHITTERY THAT PPL LET ME GET AWAY WITH BACK THEN. ASTOUNDING.#IF I DIDNT HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME LOOKING BACK ON THESE DUMB THINGS ID GO BACK AND REWRITE THE SHIT OUTTA EM#GOD#AWFUL#Like sure I get that the concepts themselves work fine but wow reading these back makes me physically cringe#Just from like... how bad on a technical level that the writing //itself// is#Look I know that cringe culture is dead but THAT DOESN'T HELP STOP ME FROM FUCKING CRINGING AT THIS GARBAGE#Yeesh. Oh well. I guess I was never a professional or anything lol. But WOW#I mean I'm glad that people enjoyed them back then regardless of the flaws but man. MANNNNN......#I can do better#One day I will prove it lmao#Whenever I get around to finishing another goddamn fic lol
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I can't stop making WIPs and never finishing them but I have been working on my draft for an Elain Week fic and oh my god I legit made myself cry THE ANGSTTTT
#All of the stuff I'm doing for Elain week includes Jesminda because I just can't not include her#The art is going to be cute#but#this fic#oh my god it's so fucking sad#I'm so excited#And it also means I have to upload more chapters of ACOEAS because it includes characters I haven't introduced yet#AGHHHH I LOVE ANGST SO MUCH#And I just need more Jesminda and I can't stop thinking about her#and I feel like there are soooooo many opportunities for stuff with Elain and Jesminda#anyways I'm really excited and I hope I'm able to fucking finish it in time#dana rambles#jesminda acotar#elain archeron
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oughhhhh T_T i need to read . i need to read i need to readddddddddd
#like . Books#FICS TOO OBVIOUSLY god knows my tbr is straining under its own weight#but like . fuckkkk i wanna read :(((#i have so many books just rotting on my shelves#ā¦ā¦..#i need to like . force myself to read a little every day. maybe before bed#i feel like that could fix me#still havent finished giovanniās room š iāll have to prioritize that#iāve been reading so much for uni but so . sloppily . since itās For Uni lmao#ari noises ā©
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still thinking about the. asgore's winter alarm clock dialogue like. If they ever finish this (please) imagine waking up one day to asgore divorced-reemurr saying "he was... my rudolph" ab some guy he used to know like
"I was... his Santa. He was... my Rudolph." With those sprites. like. Oh he was yours and you were his, huh. Sir. Sir--
hello, sir, what was that about the mistletoe--
Oh so. he uses the same nickname your ex-wife used for you. Is that so. The very same huh---
Oh so you wanted to show him the sun huh. You wanted to hold his hand and bring him to the surface and show him the beauty of the sun didn't you
#undertale#asgore dreemurr#rudy holiday#rudolph holiday#i make this post in an affectionate manner thumbs up#also sorry for the long post but i found this page open in my ten trillion tabs collection and felt so normal ab it#Very aware of what's going on in deltarune as well but just thinking ab. the alarm clock specifically#i have many thoughts ab rudy and asgore in both games but also just#toby fox rly did just give us this#toby what are you saying about asgore toby toby come back here---#i need. to make post ab rudy and asgore thoughts one day. or draw something. or finish writing things#stares off into the distance i need to finish my kingdings gaster pining fic where rudy and gaster eventually become friends#there are so many thoughts in my head. but also.#going to fix my sleep schedule fr if ut alarm clock ever drops bc dear god#deer god even
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sometimes i canāt believe i was posting wips every single wednesday and sunday for literal months like who even was that person
#and now i canāt even write a paragraph without taking a month break#or monthS should i say#god why arenāt the words so easy anymore š«š#this writers block thing is doing my absolute head in#i get so excited to still be tagged#and then iām all ā¹ļø cos i have no words to share back#i have so many wips so may ideas but i am so scattered#i miss writing soooo much#and instead of actually writing#i just think about it#and never get any words down#also weāre like a third of the way thru the new season and that is scaring me#i feel like by the time i can write again or finish a fic iāll have missed the boat#and everyone will have moved on#or already written the same idea but better#and itāll be like hey! whatās the point#anyway iāll try to be reassured by the fact everyone stayed active during an 18 month hiatus#and the more fics the merrier#also feels like iām trying to make up for lost time#for all the years the show aired and i wasnāt apart of the fandom#i want to enjoy and savour all the moments of the new season with you all#and get out of my own head#but that wonāt be tonight š„²#š hours#donāt mind me being a sook lol#emphasis on the sunday scaries tonight#literally how is it monday again already im going insane šµāš«#d stuff
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oouugghhh hannigram either 7 or 45. maybe even combine the two.
ok so it has been. a while. this one got, uh, more than a little out of control lmao (almost 3500 words holy fuck). but it's finally finished! i'm not sure if it exactly fits the prompts anymore but i tried to combine them both :) i hope you like it! (even if it did just end up as yet another mizumono fic lol oops)
***
"You were supposed to leave," Will hisses, and his voice is a devastated, furious thing.
There is blood soaking into his shoes and the scent of iron hangs heavy in the air, and the worst part is that Will doesn't even know whose blood it is anymore, but the question is lost to the back of his mind. Because in front of him stands a dishevelled man whose shirt is a mess of shiny red stains, a knife dripping in his hand.
A man who isnāt supposed to be there at all.
"I didn't want to leave without seeing you one last time," Hannibal says. The words one last time should be ringing alarm bells in Will's head, but he canāt hear them over the overwhelming chorus of thousands of other alarms, because everything is going wrong. There is blood on the floor and on the walls and Alana and Jack lie dying among shards of glass, and there is a SWAT team likely only minutes away, and yet Hannibal is still here.
They both are.
And now Will doesnāt know what to do, hasnāt known what to do for the last 3 months and hadnāt known what heād do next when heād made that phone call, telling the Chesapeake Ripper that they know. All heād known was that he didnāt want Hannibal to die, didnāt want him locked up in a cage by his own hands. But here he is, faced with the consequences of his own actions, and once again Will doesnāt know what to do, doesnāt know what to feel, or even what he is feeling beyond the adrenaline and desperation and horror and relief and confusion. He doesnāt want to feel the overwhelming guilt and sense of responsibility that has been steadily building behind his ribs since this whole scheme began. Yet that guilt now tears at the lining of his chest and crushes his lungs and holds his throat in a chokehold, and itās just all too much and all he can think is none of this was supposed to happen and this is all my fault and what if?
Seeing Hannibal alive, heād been struck by a sudden wave of relief that had almost caused his knees to give out beneath him. But now, as Hannibalās eyes meet his, the awful look that greets him makes a pit suddenly form in his stomach, and the relief gives way to guilt again. And Will canāt take it.
None of this was supposed to happen.
This is all my fault.
What if?
And then it hits him: none of this was supposed to happen. And it hadnāt needed to. This awful mess of glass and blood and ruin could have all been avoided if Hannibal had just listened. If heād trusted Will when heād picked up the phone with shaky fingers and told him to run. But he hadn't. And this realisation comes with a sick sense of understanding, because for the whole time Will had known him, Hannibal had always had to have something hidden up his sleeve, always had to keep secrets from Will. Always had to know better. Feel superior. At last the final veil falls from Will's eyes, and all at once he can see how foolish he'd been to ever believe that they could be equals. How pathetic it was that, for those few long weeks they'd spent together, he'd actually believed that they were.
(Will fiercely forces back the voice in his head that whispers that he hadnāt exactly given Hannibal a reason to trust him.)
Heart hammering against his ribs, all of that guilt and fear melts together and stretches and twists and is reborn as deep, righteous anger.
Because no, all heād wanted was for Hannibal to be safe and free and far from here, even if it meant Hannibal hated him, even if it meant they could never be together, even if it meant that one day Hannibal would come back and rip his still-beating heart from his chest without remorse. But instead here they are, highly armed police likely mere minutes out. And all because Hannibal hadnāt listened. Bitterly, Will thinks to himself that maybe he couldnāt change Hannibal in this way after all.
As if hearing the war cry of bitterness and anger, the resentment heād kept locked away over the last year begins to bay and claw at its cage too, and, with no reason left to hold it back, Will finally opens the latch and lets it loose.
His next words come out as a growl. āWell now neither of us might get to leave at allā.
Hannibal looks at him, and before he can hide any emotion behind his mask Will can see surprise and deep betrayal warring behind his eyes. It should make him stop and consider, that surprise - that indication that he is behaving in a way that Hannibal did not quite anticipate. But the look of betrayal is like a knife to his chest, and so Will grips his resentment tightly and fumes.
What had Hannibal expected? For Will to be small, desperate? Cowering? Begging for forgiveness? His lip curls in derision. As if he would give him the satisfaction. No, mongooses have teeth and claws, and may whatever god he believes in help Hannibal if he thinks Will wonāt use them.
Hannibal manages to force the emotion all behind a mask of icy indifference, and now when he looks at Will his gaze is blank. Though it is not his usual blankness which Will has become familiar with. It is an empty, unsettling kind of blank, the sort of blank heās only ever seen in the eye of a shark. When Hannibal speaks his voice is cold, colder than Will has ever heard it.
"Forgive me for having doubts about the sincerity of your warning when you've been lying to me for the last month. Forgive me for wanting to see the truth of where your loyalties lie."
The acknowledgement is agony. All the guilt Will had been trying to force down suddenly rears its monstrous head again, and he finds his voice suddenly drying up. His throat feels tight.
He whispers. "My loyalties lie with you'
Hannibal only scoffs. It is ugly. Will has never seen Hannibal ugly before.
"A last minute change of heart is hardly loyalty, Will," he says. āWhat does Uncle Jack think of your loyalty, lying bleeding out in my pantry? Alana, shattered on the street? How can I be sure you do not still intend for me to join them?ā
Hannibal takes a step towards him, adjusting his grip on the knife. Willās heart pounds. He forces himself not to take a step back.
ļæ½ļæ½Because I chose you, Hannibal, I was always going to choose you, I just needed time to accept that.ā
But Hannibal just looks away. āIf that is what you truly believe, then you haven't just been lying to me, you've also been lying to yourself.ā
Itās so wrong, yet Hannibal had said it with such certainty and disdain that all Will sees is the arrogance with which Hannibal always assumes himself to be right. He dares to presume to know what Will is thinking better than Will knows himself? It turns out Hannibal Lecter really is just like every other psychiatrist Will has ever met, and a sense of grief rises up within him at the loss of something heād never thought he could have until meeting Hannibal.
He hates himself for mourning what he shouldnāt want.
Will smothers the voice in his head whispering that Hannibal may in fact be correct, that he really does know Will's mind better than Will does his own. Instead he lets anger take over again, and this time it burns.
āYou know nothing,ā he hisses. His hands shake. Deep waves of indignant resentment roll over him, the roaring of the waves matching the blood in his ears.
He doesnāt know what he expects Hannibal to do next, but it isnāt for Hannibal to hum to himself, then huff a mirthless laugh and concede in a tone both melancholy and angry, āPerhaps youāre right.ā
Once again Hannibal meets his eyes. āYou know, I've never fully been able to predict you, Will, but this time I had hoped. It is a mistake I will not make again.ā
He prowls closer still, and this time Will steps forward to meet him. Fight has won over flight and as the rising fury makes it hard to find words Willās body seems to have decided to speak for him. The ticking clock of the impending arrival of the FBI ignored in favour of the burning, all-consuming rage within him.
But the fear of their time running out is still there, forced down as it is, and between that and the anger itās only getting harder to think, and Hannibal is only making it worse. Every word that leaves his mouth brings fresh waves of intense emotion and itās rapidly reducing Will to a state where there is nothing in his brain except pure animalistic rage-fear.
He just needs Hannibal to stop talking for one moment so he can think.
With what little coherent thought remains in his brain, Will decides to tell Hannibal in the only way he can manage anymore.
āFor once in your life can you please just shut the fuck upā.
Hannibal's eyes flash dangerously. His lips curl up into a snarl, and the part of Will that still understands anything knows that heās made a mistake - heās only succeeded in confirming for Hannibal exactly how his words are affecting him, and getting him to stop now wonāt be achieved without consequences.
Hannibal is quick to recover, a cruel grin taking over his face. His head tilts condescendingly. āTerribly rude, Will,ā he taunts.
The fire inside Will soars higher. He can feel it scorching his insides.
āFuck you, Hannibal.ā He spits.
Hannibal begins to loom over him, moving closer still in a manner that can only be called predatory, until all that separates them is an armās length. The knife still glistens in his hand.
āIs that all you have to say for yourself, Will? Childish comebacks? Iāve come to expect better from you. I'm disappointed.ā There is a gleam of self-satisfied malice in his eyes and the shape of his lips. He looks dangerous. He looks beautiful.
Will hates him.
Will loves him.
Fuckyoufuckyoufuck-
And suddenly Will canāt take it any longer.
Before he knows what he is doing, heās grabbing Hannibal by the bloody shirt and crashing his lips into his.
Time seems to stop, the world narrowing into a millisecond of time in which Hannibalās hair brushes against Willās forehead, breath warm against his mouth, their noses pressed almost painfully against each other. A moment where the cooling blood on Hannibalās shirt soaks into Willās palms and stains his fingers red. A moment where Hannibal stands deadly still, as if frozen, and Will feels as if heās been frozen too.
There is a distant pressure in the corner of Willās abdomen, then the vague sound of something clattering to the ground. But Willās lips are on Hannibalās and it is as if everything everywhere is inconsequential other than the feeling of Hannibalās teeth against his, just as heād imagined on so many a lonely night.
The moment seems to last an eternity before Hannibalās hand finally comes up to grasp the back of his shirt tightly, and Will feels the sharp pull of the fabric against his skin, the pressure of Hannibalās knuckles firm against his flank. A breathy gasp escapes his burning lips, and he canāt help the animal noise that subsequently tears its way from his throat. Luckily it seems that is what it takes for Hannibal to finally move his mouth and kiss back with equal force, teeth scraping sharply against Willās. They gravitate closer and closer until Willās arm is wrapped around Hannibalās neck and their hips are pressed tightly together.
Eventually, Hannibal lets out a deep growl before he at last pulls away, dragging Will backwards until there is an armās distance between them. Willās eyes flutter open and he gazes up at Hannibal. The adrenaline is still coursing through his veins and setting him alight, but this time it is not with anger but something wholly new.
As they lock eyes, Will realises that Hannibal is finally allowing Will to see, without barriers or veils, the full breadth of emotion in his eyes. There is still frustration and betrayal, yes (indeed, Will hadnāt let go of his either) but there is also - and Willās heart skips a beat when he recognises it - pure and all-encompassing adoration. A wonderful warmth blossoms within his core, rendering him both weak and solid and light as a feather, and it is unlike anything Will can ever remember feeling.
He wonders if this is what itās like to be loved.
Then those wonderful, expressive maroon eyes flicker downwards, and Hannibalās brow furrows, lines around his eyes deepening. Confused, Will follows his gaze, and is surprised to see a growing deep red stain on his shirt, though any reaction he distantly thinks he perhaps should be having is dulled and seems to float just out of reach. Itās strange; there isnāt any pain, just the memory of an odd pressure that heād ignored at the time and a peculiar sense of unreality.
For a moment he just stands, uncomprehending, but as the adrenaline finally starts to wear off he becomes increasingly aware of a dull ache at the site of the wound, and it isnāt long before that dull ache blossoms into a terrible burning pain. Hand instinctively falling from Hannibalās shoulder to hover protectively over the wound, Will looks back up at Hannibal, a mix of confusion, surprise, pain and betrayal written across his face. An involuntary whine slips from his suddenly dry throat.
The vocalisation appears to spur Hannibal into action. He takes Will gently but firmly by the arms and quickly guides him to a nearby sofa, helping him lay down across its seats before sinking to his knees beside him and pulling up his shirt to inspect the injury. A moment passes, then a near-imperceptible line of tension seems to drop slightly from Hannibalās shoulders and he pulls Willās shirt back down.
āIt is as I thought: due to the angle and the quick loosening of my grip on the handle, only the tip of my knife entered your body. The wound is not so deep as to require immediate attention, but it will certainly require stitches.ā
He guides Willās hand back to his injury and helps him to apply the right amount of pressure. It hurts, and when Will winces and lets out small pained noise, Hannibal brings a hand to his hair and cards it through the damp curls. It feels nice, it feels so very nice and right, and Willās eyes slip closed for a moment, enjoying the feeling. When he opens them, Hannibal is looking down at him, face once again carefully blank.
āThere is likely very little time left before the FBI arrives,ā he begins, āand I will soon be leaving for Florence. I will offer you this once and only once, and you will have until I return with our passports and a select few other items to make your decision.ā
He fixes Will with a heavy look. āOne last chance, Will. You can come with me to Florence, and I will show you the city where I became a man. We will leave immediately, take up new identities, and likely never return.
āOr, I can leave you here. You can wait for the cops to arrive and take you to a hospital. Your reputation will remain intact, and you can go back to your job and your house in the woods, your life as you know it, and you will never see me again.ā
An almost undetectable pause, and then, āThis is your final decision, Will. I suggest you make it wisely.ā
With this he climbs to his feet and leaves the room
For a while Will sits thinking, but deep down he knows his mind is already made up. The myriad of complicated feelings he harbours towards Hannibal still plague him, and a part of him still wants to lock the man up and throw away the key, but heās finally willing to admit that itās all inconsequential. He knows now he can't live without Hannibal, for better or for worse, whether he loves him or hates him, or a twisted mix of both. Heāll miss his life terribly for the isolated comfort it brought, but heād miss Hannibal far, far more.
There is only one choice to make.
The moment Hannibal reappears in the doorway Will is speaking.
āI want to come with you.ā
Hannibalās face remains carefully blank. āYou understand there is no going back from this. I will not change my lifestyle and you can never return to the false life you have led. You will be shedding your sheepskin for good this time, and the world will be on our tail for as long as we-ā
Will cuts him off.
āI want to come with you,ā he repeats firmly.
A long pause, and then a small but genuine smile graces Hannibal's lips. With a dip of his head, he seems to accept the decision. āVery well,ā he says, though Will can hear the unspoken relief that lies beneath it. He lets himself smile back, tired but overjoyed and honest. It feels right.
Hannibal comes back to where he lies on the couch, and helps him get up, his touch firm yet gentle as he holds Will against his side.
āDo you think you can walk?ā he asks.
Willās breath catches as the shift to being upright pulls sharply on his wound. While it could have been far deeper - and Will doesnāt want to imagine what Hannibalās initial plan for him was - it is still painful, and increasingly so as the last of the adrenaline wears off. Plus, heās losing a fair amount of blood, and the change in angle temporarily darkens his vision and sends stars dancing across his eyes. Grimacing, he closes his eyes and waits for the pounding in his head to stop. Hannibal lets him lean against him, steadfastly taking his weight, and says nothing.
When the stars fade and he feels steadier on his feet, Will considers Hannibalās question, and after a moment of assessment nods - heās been shot in the shoulder before, he can handle this - and lets Hannibal lead him out of the house and down the street to an unfamiliar car.
Alana is unconscious now, and Will catches Hannibalās eyes lingering on his jacket where it lies over her body. He looks at her, the person heād once imagined sharing a life with, and thinks of how important she had always been to him, even after everything. A pang of bittersweet nostalgia hits him, accompanied by a longing for a simpler time when maybe it could have been possible. But ultimately he allows Hannibal to help him into the passenger seat of the car. This is the life heās chosen, the person heās chosen, cannibalism and all. There is no going back now, and nothing to be gained from contemplating what ifs.
Then the car door closes, and Alana is hidden from sight.
There is another noise as Hannibal gets in the car from the other side, and after fiddling with some dials and buttons, he starts the engine.
āI will drive us to the airport where our flight awaits. When we are a safe distance from the house we will stop and I will clean and suture your wound. But for now I suggest you sleep - you will need the rest if you are to recover well.ā
He must notice the lines of discomfort on Willās face, as he adds, softening slightly, āThere are some painkillers in the door.ā
After taking the pills as directed, Will lays his head back against the headrest and allows his eyes to close. The last of the adrenaline has left his system, leaving behind a sudden bone tiredness that makes his lids heavy and breathing slow.
With the sound of the vehicle lulling him and the comfort of Hannibalās presence beside him - alive, together - sleep comes quickly, and the last thing Will knows before the darkness claims him is the feeling of a warm hand gently coming to rest upon his own.
#nbc hannibal#hannigram#hannigram fic#hannibal fanfiction#my writing#kiss prompts#gonna say āabigail is in the backseat of the car but it's dark and will is too tired to notice lol#and they find a way to have all 7 dogs sent to wherever they end up :)#i hope this is decent enough and there aren't any mistakes!#pretty sure everything is capitalised and in the same tense now haha#god this has taken forever#also#this is the first fic i've managed to finish in like 7 years so i'm really proud :)#now to work on my many other wips!#also i hope the formatting is ok!#let me know if it's horrible lol and i'll try to fix it
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I really need to start actually posting the fics I write rather than immediately forgetting about them
#fanfiction#the truest repairman posts#I have so many in progress and even a few that just need a quick read theough#But I just never feel confirmed enough to post them to AO3 lmao#My Google docs page: 10 fics to finish and or post#My AO3: this person has never written anything in his god damn life
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Someone give me the strength to finish all 15 billion of my finals so I can write ace attorney fanfic
#i found 5 different fics in my drive that i never finished/posted and holy shit theyre so good#god i have so many finals to do theyre gonna kill me#3 essays. 2 programming finals. 1 game dev final. 1 final research paper with 10+ pages. final illustration plus composite pdf of process#1 like and ill drop the fanfic ideas i found in the drive#when i tell you i was on the EDGE OF MY SEAT reading my own fic lmao
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tempalate by caninewhistles on devianart!! nothing in february:( little penguino so sad the ward take him away.. oh well! teehee.. thank you all for the good year!!! Mwah!!!
#the ward at least gave me one thing and thats insight on how the facility might function hehehehehe#not really ofc#its good for basing stuff on it !! i know its not the same ofc the facility is like way bigger#but its a good reference to have for the basics of how it could function#ive got sooo many thoughts on the facility#i gotta make like. a guard oc or smth. ive got mutants ive got scientists ive got civilians (marya my good friend marya)#ive got a stalker. i need more#i need another civilian#one thats not dead#there is a little devil in my mind that wants me to make ten thousand ocs. NO!!!!! WRTITE ALYA FIC FIRST!!!!#spoeaking of writing! ive published 56.4k words on ao3 !!!#those are the only ones that ive published lol#god. its not that ive got full fics sitting in my google docs#its just that ive got some wips i didnt get around to finishing... goddd.... anekom science au i loev you anekom science au!!!#and then ive got a bit of! temnolya/temnovazone bit. thennn ummm ive got saffie creepypasta#oh then i have rp but those arent fics#OH SHIT#i completely forgot about . no. i did those last year so im not mentioning#i had a bit of a dimanya fic going but then didnt like my execution.. the idea was cool but the exectionw asnt#then that facility janitor thing that i took down bc i didnt like it. you know how it goes#its wild... !!!#i like writing:)
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