#GIVE ME RADIOAPPLE OR GIVE ME DEATH

[minkdelovely]

"Makes no sense to listen for words, if you aren't ready to receive the message, bambi."

GAAAAHHHHHH FRAU!!! MY RADIOAPPLE LOVING HEART CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT OH MY GODDDD!!! 😩❤️‍🔥

This was sooo lovely — omg the build up between them was so fun and PALPABLE! You’ve done us all such a great service with this one. What did we do to deserve?? 😭🙏🏻♥️

Hello lovelies! Even though it's hard to follow Hazel, I hope you will enjoy todays little kinky story too!

Somnophilia is a personal favorite of mine, and reimagining it with RadioApple in mind was less a challenge than it was an experience :D I had to keep myself from writing, and who knows if I won't revisit this specific bit in the future? ;> To keep you from missing all the other juicy bits to cum come, I suggest following those beautiful creatures right here 👇🏼

Coven: @hazelfoureyes@minkdelovely@sugoi-writes@macabr3-barbi3@synamartia (banner by Syn!)

Warnings: Somnophilia, Implied but not explicit consent, Mentions of Insomnia, Depictions of depression and nightmares/night terrors, Blowjob, Hand job - Fun times all around! And as usual: Minors Stay away - 🔞

The king of hell was a lousy sleeper.

From the moment he’d moved into the hotel, Alastor noticed the falling angel creeping through the halls in the middle of the night, thick, dark circles under his eyes and an expression he could only describe as tortured.

Hidden in the familiar shadows, he’d stalk Lucifer out, night after night, and the initial delight changed into morbid curiosity. Such a curiosity in fact, that instead of mocking him, he decided to further his investigations. And what he found - well, was rather peculiar. Lucifer, king of hell and royal head of the realm, was afraid of sleep.

Alastor saw him more than once, from the dark corners in Lucifer’s chambers where he concealed himself, pacing around his room, or more accurately: in front of his wide, luxurious bed, pained and conflicted. In most instances he’d sigh, put on his slippers and morning coat, and flee into the empty halls. But on very rare occasions, Lucifer would, with furrowed brows, slide into his bed. And what followed unwillingly elicited a certain kind of sympathy in the Radio Demon.

It must’ve been scarring nightmares that haunted Lucifer, the way he writhed and whimpered, fighting for air and almost choking before he’d shoot up, panicked and halfway transformed to the demonic angel he became after his fall into the depths of depravation. His blonde hair would stick onto his sweaty forehead, swept away only by his trembling hands, and Lucifer would cry, for hours at times, until dawn would break and he’d mask himself in his usual, debonair demeanor again, facing his daughter and the inhabitants of the hotel with another night of lost sleep on his shoulders.

He could've used it against him - it would’ve been a perfect addition to his arsenal. But Alastor knew torturous nightmares just a little too well. They were one of the reasons he, too, was evading sleep as much as he could allow himself. But while his were just draining, Lucifer's seemed to be outright cruel.

So he thought he had the perfect bargaining chip in hand for a rather harmless, little tit-for-tat. Offer his assistance in relieving the king's nightly terrors, in whichever way needed, in exchange for access to his personal collection of ancient (and most certainly rarely known) spellbooks he'd spotted in his nocturnal stake-outs, sitting in his bookshelf where these dreadful ducks weren't occupying the space, adding with a sly smirk:

"And - let's be honest your highness - you're so much more bearable to be with when you're knocked out and not talking."

First, Lucifer had stuttered incoherently. Then had denied, then had laughed nervously, then had said no before hurriedly fleeing from him. But Alastor didn't have to wait even a fortnight after proposing this unusual arrangement for the naive royal to open a portal in his bayou, barking an "Are you fuckin' coming or not?" while waving a mesopotamian tomb about blood magic for good measure.

And Alastor had followed.

The first night of many.

For a few weeks now, the angel would open his his door when he knocked (the privacy-intrusive portaling forbidden by Alastor), less wary than the night before, offer a drink from his personal supply (Alastor had to admit he had a rather pleasant taste in whiskey) and maybe even engage in borderline friendly conversation before they'd settle on the bed: Lucifer under, Alastor over the pristine bedding.

Every night another book and the same steady, even, peaceful breaths. It seemed that the fallen angel’s loneliness was, at last, soothed when another warm body laid next to him.

Until Lucifer would inevitably start to whine. The first time it happened Alastor stared at the twitching man gripping his sheets, grinding his teeth and whimpering like a child. It wasn't as intense as the ones Alastor had witnessed before, this nightmare, but still enough to rattle Lucifer out of his tranquil rest. A silent tear escaped his shut eyes, and Alastor, as if in trance, kept staring at Lucifer as he reached out his hand and, after a moment of hesitation, rested it on his cheek.

That small gesture seemed to do the trick - the demon's erratic, fearful movements slowed down, a low, blissful hum coming from his throat. The frown melted away and Alastors' breath hitched in his own throat as he leaned closer to observe this phenomenon. The relaxed, even serene expression that appeared on Lucifer's features under the palm of his hand…

He had tamed the devil with barely a touch.

Alastor felt triumph surge in his chest, as well as an unexplained feeling of relief he couldn't explain. When Lucifer awoke that morning, Alastors hand in his hair and ever so slightly, almost gently, scratching his scalp, he didn't say anything, and Alastor was thankful for it. But that night changed something, in both of them - Alastor felt it. Soon, his hand on some part of the angel's body became as much a habit as reading a book while Lucifer slept.

"You seem more tense than usual - what, did one of your frivolous ducks explode?"

Alastor smirked at the grumpy growl he received, already settled and propped onto his usual pillows, a sanskrit book about alchemy in hand, as Lucifer threw off his clothes sans the stupidly ridiculous rubber-duck-boxers he usually slept in and climbed in and under the sheets with a hybrid of a huff and a groan.

"Compared to what I had to endure today, I wish. Had to go to the embassy again."

"I do hope this meeting went more favorable than your last?" Alastor queried, reading over some runes he only partially recognized, remembering fragments of the ancient language from an essay he acquired a few decades ago. The poignant look Lucifer shot him made him lower his book. The king pointed at his exhausted face, brows raised.

"With Michael and the other arch-angels present? Look at my face and tell me how it went."

"Ah well," Alastor grinned at him as he disappeared into a pile of duvet, pillows and sheets as if he wanted to burrow himself alive. "If at first you don't succeed, there's always next time."

His ears twitched when he heard a mournful, quiet "Yeah, that's what makes it worse.". After a long moment of silence between Alastor and the mountain of plush fabric, Lucifer's voice traveled damply through the layers. "Can you... pet my head until I'm asleep?"

Alastor startled at the blunt request, watching Lucifer's embarrassed face pop out from the nest he’d built himself. It was the first time that Lucifer outright asked for what Alastor had given unrequested night after night.

"I clearly remember you telling me I'd make a worse nanny than I'd make a hotelier, now you ask me to pamper you? Oh, how the tides turn."

"God, do you have to be such an ass, Alastor?! I'm fucking lonely, and you know you're..." Lucifer stopped himself, biting his lips. He turned away from him, pulling up his shoulders, disappearing into the pile again. "Forget it."

"Now don't be so insolent. I know what, my king? That I'm...?", Alastor tried, raising a single eyebrow at the sulking pile. Lucifer mumbled a short, vehement and very audible string of curses, to Alastor's great delight and even greater curiosity.

"Can you please stop fucking patronizing me and just scratch my goddamn head?!"

"Alas, since you asked so nicely!" To his never-ceasing astonishment, his touch and gentle ministration at the base of his hairline calmed Lucifers entire body down, relaxing the knot of muscles under the touch almost instantly. When he let out a long, content sigh, the deer demon just snickered. "My, my, such obscene noises from the ruler of the realm just for a simple head scratch. I fear what you'd sound like if I put in a little more effort!"

"Then put in more effort." Lucifer mumbled, already on his way to cross the border between awake and sleep, but his voice had a certain, unmistakable edge - a meaning behind so outrageous it hit Alastor like a ton of bricks. He stills, his hand unmoving in Lucifer's blonde locks, his grin slightly tweaking.

"Hm? I don't think I quite catched that right."

"Makes no sense to listen for words, if you aren't ready to receive the message, bambi."

"Oh," Alastor's wide grin returns when Lucifer, to underline his point, rolls his hips teasingly, "If you are insinuating what I think you are then that's quite the daring offer so close to drifting into sleep, even for the devil himself."

Lucifer's voice was quiet and slurred as his head fell deeper against the pillow, eyes shut and sleep already taking hold of his mind. "'Said it yourself - 'y like me best when 'm knocked out and stop talkin'..." And with that cryptic message, Lucifer left the waking world behind, and in it a - for once - speechless Radio Demon.

Hours passed, all the while Alastor tried to concentrate on the runes in his book, while trying not to listen too closely to the slow, calm breathing. He only tore his eyes away from the text whenever Lucifer's hands flexed and fisted in the duvet, or a small whimper broke free, until the pressure subsided. But eventually, Alastor let the spellbook sink as he mulled over the recent developments of their weird relationship - if it even could be called that. The days were still spent with banter and fights, especially when the matter of authority of either demon was challenged by the other. But their nights were something else, something calm and somewhat peaceful, like a truce in the midst of a cold war, and for some ungodly reason, Alastor hadn't felt this relaxed in ages either, which meant that although bizarre, this arrangement turned out to be mutually beneficial after all. But if Lucifer had indeed insinuated what he thought he had insinuated...

The small figure began to shift, slowly tossing and turning. Another nightmare, Alastor thought and returned to stroking the nape of the fallen angel's delicate neck, only to realize it was covered in cold sweat. With wide eyes, Alastor noticed Lucifer's brows drawn together in his torturous dream, breath erratic and frantic as his horns sprouted and grew in sync with his admittedly beautiful wings.

Against all good judgment, Alastor sprung into action. If a simple touch of his hand could soothe a mild nightmare, he'd just have to, well, put in more effort for a bad one. That was the proposed arrangement, wasn't it? The covers were thrown back, and before he could change his mind, Alastor slid under the blankets and sheets, laying down next to the twitching demon. With a sigh, he put an arm around Lucifer, pressing his front against the winged back, and pulled him closer, resting his chin on the crook of his shoulder, his nose and mouth touching the bare skin of his neck.

The Radio Demon tensed and waited. When Lucifer's body began to relax, his horns and wings started to retract and the cries became quiet whimpers, a smile crept over his features and his claws found the golden hair again. As soon as his fingers began to work his scalp, his whines died down and the angel leaned against him. Alastor's heart did a leap.

The king was so close, and his skin so warm where it connected with his lips. So inviting to bite down, taste a bit of that angelic blood that Alastor had always wanted to sample. But waking Lucifer would mean not adhering to the proposal, and he couldn't have that ending. Not when the fallen angel's tired voice rang so temptingly in his ears.

Tentatively, Alastor let one of his hands wander, from where it rested on Lucifer's slender waist, down further, over his hip and to the inside of his thigh.

His grin widened at the change of tune in Lucifer's whine. 'Let's see how much effort my king can take' the Radio Demon thought, the fingers of his other hand combing through his hair, scraping along his skull. It was a risky plan, to indulge Lucifer's frivolously mumbled innuendo, but then again, what could be a greater entertainment than the thrill of having the king of hell defenseless and weak, writhing at his fingertips? Wasn't he all about entertainment?

Letting the fingers that weren't in blonde locks explore, Alastor skirted his talon up the fair and sensible inner thigh, reaching further and further until he found the heated center, finding him semi-hard and tender under the fabric of his boxers. Slowly, he brushed his fingers over it, palming him firmly, earning a sinful moan from the sleeping demon. He listened for any signs of waking and found none as he sliced the offensively hindering piece of clothing open and his thumb began to work his swollen tip.

A flood of goosebumps erupted on his skin as he listened to Lucifer's heaving, irregular breaths, intensifying with every stroke he supplied.

How far could he go with this?

When would Lucifer wake?

He was so open, so sensitive and Alastor found himself enjoying the prospect of putting him at his mercy, teasing him to the edge of consciousness with his every little movement.

As the hand on Lucifer's cock ceased all movement for a moment, the angel breathed out a sound that wasn't a whimper or a moan or a cry - it was something deep and sensual, like an unarticulated plea and his hips bucked weakly into his grip.

Oh, this was fun, so much fun…Alastor could barely stop himself from chuckling, instead deciding on another experimental jerk with his hand. This elicited another noise from Lucifer, more desperate this time and Alastor repeated the action, his tongue trailing from the bottom of his shoulder up to his neck. It tasted salty and slightly sweet and utterly divine. The essence of an angel, and Alastor felt his throat thirsty for more of this heavenly flavor.

Moving swiftly, the deer peeled himself off Lucifer's back, shifting onto his knees and in between the skinny, white legs, eyes fixated on the hard and dripping member he still lazily stroked. The cum glistened in the gloomy light of the room as if it was liquid gold. The need to sample him had him leaning down, his hands pushing Lucifer's thighs further apart, making his hips arch invitingly as he opened his mouth and wrapped his tongue around the wet crown of his erection.The skin here was softer than anything he ever touched before, and oh, the taste!

That indescribable taste he had lusted after was like the perfect morsel on his palate, so divine Alastor feared for a moment he'd go off in flames from the heat that spread through him.

He moaned around the head, sucking on it hungrily as more precome hit his tongue, his ears filled with nothing but ragged and loud breaths. Lucifer was still too far gone into this dream world of bliss to wake, and a thought pierced his mind, one he shouldn't be dwelling on, but one he did, his damned tail swinging wildly from one side to the other:

That he could get addicted to this after all - the feeling of power over the king of hell himself, the taste of the heavenly essence still so prominent in the fallen angel, and the company, even if abrasive and bantering. Lucifer challenged Alastor, and although he'd never tell a soul - unlike so many others, he was at the very least, a worthy sparring partner.

Opening his eyes again and sliding down, taking him all the way, the head touching the back of his throat, he felt a slight stirring above, Lucifer shifting and panting. Just for a few more moments. Alastor pushed a bit deeper, teasing and testing before sliding upwards and setting a steady and firm pace, one hand tightening its hold on Lucifer's hip and the other wandering down, exploring the path over his smooth, tightened balls to the tensed ring of muscle below. Slowly he began circling it, sucking harder and stroking him faster until a noise he had not yet heard pierced his ears. Lucifer, in his dream, moaned his name. And for once, Alastor didn't mind it at all.

Instead, he closed his eyes and just drank in the sound of the sleeping angel moaning like he's dying for him, feeling himself responding to the lewd display of helpless want as his own cock twitches against the strained fabric of his pajama. Without his conscious accord, the tip of his finger entered the hot, willing hole, and his tongue lapped eagerly as he did, searching for another taste and there's nothing - absolutely nothing - better in this whole wretched pandemonium than the sensation of Lucifer arching and curling under him.

"Ngh… Fuck. That's an A for e-effort, if I've e-ever seen one."

Alastors eyes flew open. Lucifer's head was turned to the side, eyes barely open, irises glowing with lust in his hazy gaze. When he tried to retreat, a sudden wave of both disappointment and a weird sense of shame washed over him, Lucifer's immediate grip in his hair was painfully firm, holding him exactly where he was, while a tired smile crept on the kings' lips.

"Don't stop now when you fin-ah... not when y-ou finally gotten the h-hint." 

Lucifer panted and sank back into the pillows, legs falling further apart and hips angling, opening even more while Alastor felt the corners of his mouth twitch in renewed excitement. Noting to himself to renegotiate their agreement come morning, he hummed in accordance to Lucifer's mumbled words as he descended onto the slickened heat of the angel's cock again."Not w-with those pleasant dreams you were giving me."

[hazelfoureyes]

The Safeword is RadioApple (part 1)

I’m gonna go ahead and apologize right now

Lucifer x FemaleReader x Alastor

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱ tidbit (cute, not smut) Part 4 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱✨NEW✨ ₊⊹⁀➴ Lucifer wins⟡Alastor Wins

Alastor would give you anything, all you had to do was ask. When you asked for Lucifer, he delivered. But after seeing just how much you enjoyed Alastor’s rough handling, Lucifer takes a turn and gets a little lost in the pleasure.

tags/warnings/promises: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, smut, RadioApple in a sense, fem reader, creampie, breath play, rough sex, Alastor is an eternal little shit, soft jazz, hard jazz, Luci calls himself Daddy, 🗣️ READER GETS SPITROASTED, threesome, cervix hulk smashed, half assed blowjob, help I got too horny on main

Minors dni

“Sir.”

Lucifer jumped, whipping around and shoving Alastor’s face away. “You are a living nightmare, fuck!” He hated being snuck up on, as most people do. Adjusting his hat, he looked around the hotel lobby to see if anyone else witnessed his personal jump scare. Charlie and Vaggie were seated nearby, but hadn’t paid them any attention.

“I aim to please! Now,” Alastor gestured to the stairs, “I, unfortunately, need to show you something upstairs.”

“Ha!” Lucifer forced out a laugh, “Ha. Haaa- Not a chance, scarecrow. Find someone else to search for your brain.” He smirked to himself. “Did you hear that Charlie? I made a joke.”

But Charlie was not laughing. She finally turned her focus to them. “Dad, you have to start trying to get along with Alastor.” She looked to Alastor who was nodding along as if he actually cared at all, “He’s trying to spend time with you. Come on, Dad. For me?”

With a pout, he dramatically crossed his arms, “Fine. I’ll play nice, for you. Not for him.” Lucifer glared daggers at Alastor. “Fuck him.”

“Daaad!” She groaned.

“Yeah yeah, I’m going.” 

Alastor let his microphone follow behind Lucifer’s back, an unseen and unfelt safety net so he couldn’t back out. When they approached Alastor’s door, Lucifer put up his hands as if to physically stop the situation from progressing, “There is no way in all of hell I am going in your bedroom.”

Alastor’s eyes rolled, frustrated already with the interaction. “Are you sure about that?” He pushed the door open, using his mic to make contact with the small of Lucifer’s back. He stopped resisting when he finally looked into the room.

He took a step in, willingly, and as he saw you sitting in the center of the bed in just your silk sleep robe, he let out a quiet, “What the fuck is this?”

Then a louder, “Heeey, kitten…”. The sound of the door locking made his head whip back to Alastor, teeth bared.

“Luci.”

Softened under the sound of his own name from your lips he brought his attention back to the bed.

It was no secret to anyone that you two were fond of each other. It was the little things you did that endeared the fallen angel to you, how you doted on him. Filling his glass at dinner when you noticed it getting close to empty, holding the door for him, keeping eye contact when he went off on some excited tangent.

Everyone was also aware you were Alastor’s person. And Alastor would give you anything you wanted in death; and today you happened to want Luci.

You’d seen the broadcasts of the King of Hell defending his daughter during the last extermination. The power he gave off, even from your screen, brought goosebumps down your arms. So when you found your way to the hotel, you were elated to see Lucifer himself readily available for interactions. Your luck continued, as your father’s love of jazz had been passed down to you and allowed the radio demon to notice your presence among the sea of new residents. Following the sounds of Nat ‘King’ Cole, he found you one evening in your room, and a mutual fondness for music bore a new friend. And then, more. 

Soon enough you were a regular member of the Hazbin Hotel core crew, by way of Alastor.

That’d been some months ago now, and you finally had the courage to ask Alastor for a special favor.

No part of him understood your motivation, but the idea of making the king of hell pussy-whipped to his darling was understanding enough. And, of course, the pleasure of watching you enjoy yourself. While he was capable all his own, he was happy to allow someone else to fill in. Not to mention—- no, actually, definitely mention the fact it would give him a little more power in the tense dynamic between himself and Lucifer.

For Alastor, sharing you physically wasn’t an issue. Sex was something he did for your pleasure, though he did enjoy the control he held over you in those intimate moments.

Watching you mewl under someone else, knowing he gave the permission, that Lucifer would never have a chance in Hell if The Radio Demon didn't allow it, made his head dizzy with the loss of blood flow. Whatever pleasure Lucifer could give you was pleasure he has granted you both. The idea of someone pining for you but never having a chance unless he says so made him feel powerful.

“I have a request, of sorts.” You tried to keep your smile still, cheeks twitching with pure nerves. The room was lit by only two small lamps on either nightstand and the light coming from the half open bathroom.

Lucifer approached you, making a dramatic point of going past Alastor. The radio demon chuckled, the king of hell scowled. He placed one knee on the end of the bed, trying to forget this was the spot you shared most nights with Alastor. His smile encouraged you to continue.

“You can say no.” You added quickly. 

“Why would I ever do that?” Lucifer continued to smile at you, too sweetly for what you were going to ask.

“Many reasons.” You added quicker. 

“Come on, tell Luci.” He laughed softly at the idea of denying you anything.

You pressed the tips of your index fingers together nervously, “I want you to fuck me.”

He tried to blink but his eyelids only seemed to rise further and further up his face with every attempt.

“You what now?”

His eyes darted to Alastor, who was now crawling onto the bed and settling behind you. 

“It was a fairly straightforward statement, sir.” Alastor’s tone was always teetering on mocking when he addressed Lucifer, “My dear would like you, for some god awful reason, to bed her.”

If this hadn’t been such a shock, Lucifer would have quipped, “Oh because you can’t, you overdressed maitre d’?”

But when he opened his mouth, there was nothing. He just stared at you. Alastor’s long legs and lanky arms came down beside you, behind you. You looked like the enticing light of an angler fish’s lure, sharp teeth shining just over your shoulder. 

“I thought-,” he motioned between the two of you.

You nodded, “Alastor is happy when I’m happy. And right now, I’d be overjoyed to spend an evening taking care of you.”

Oh, why couldn’t you have said it so sweetly the first time? Take care of him? You always did. Every time he felt something lacking he’d find you close behind offering him just the thing.

Whether a smile, or supportive word, or just a sympathetic ear.

Shifting onto your hands and knees, you crawled toward Lucifer. His face was flush, his brows knitted together in some mix of worry and confusion.

“You don’t have to do that, kitten. I don’t need that.” He reached out a hand to touch your cheek but stopped himself; he’d never touched you before. He had gone out of his way to avoid it, because he couldn’t bear what it would do to him. He’d just be hurting himself, he had thought. His hand began to pull away but you reached out with both of yours and took hold of his wrist.

“I don’t have to do anything, ever, Luci,” Alastor’s grin widened as you said it. A hum of approval only he could hear. A silent, ‘That’s my girl.’

“This is about what I want.” You leaned up to rest your cheek in his open palm, “I’ll accept any answer from you.” Your eyes staring up at him promised safety, “So, what do you want?”

He buried his face in his free hand, opening his fingers to look over you once more. In the shade of the canopied bed, Alastor sat motionless. But Lucifer couldn’t see him, not because of the shadows but because his focus was so purely on you. He had absolute tunnel vision, which happened often when you two would speak. Lucifer made a low sound, coming from somewhere deep in his chest,  hidden beneath all his shame and sense of inadequacy.

Your question was answered as he removed his hat, tossing it to the chaise lounge near the wall. You sat back on your legs and gave him space to remove his coat. Your heart seemed to double its pace, skin practically vibrating. A not-insignificant part of you expected a gentle but firm, “kindly fuck off.”

He seemed to be avoiding eye contact as he pulled his bow tie loose, only returning his knee to the bed when he’d kicked off his boots. Just the shifting of the weight of the bed made your thighs twitch, finally. Alastor leaned backed and watched, Lucifer’s gaze was full of uncertainty as he crawled to you. 

Hilarious. Already worth the price of admission. 

Both on your knees, you leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Lucifer’s lips. Pulling back, you looked at him and he felt like we’re looking at the sun. Your face was so bright, and warm. What light were you reflecting back at him? Surely not his own. That was long dead. Long buried under bruised wings and lost promises. 

You snaked your fingers into his hair and brought him in for a deeper kiss. When you bit gently on his bottom lip, he shakily opened his mouth. Your grin spread across both of your faces as you pushed your way past his lips.

Lucifer’s tongue was long, and tapered more than you’d expected. It moved, unsure, against yours. Your hands slunk out of his hair and down his chest, sliding until finding the buttons of his vest. 

You felt him gasp into you, and when you began to open his shirt he pulled away, “It’s been… a very long time.”

A scream echoed in your skulll, your own scream, thankfully entirely in your mind. He was so cute. So soft. He looked so worried, you wanted to rip him to pieces with affection. Was that possible? You were going to try.

Your hands fumbled over his belt, the tremble in your fingers making the pants button feel like an aptitude test. Your mouth returned to him, kissing down his cheeks and into the space under his jaw. Finally you could slip your hand down into his pants, and you hissed without thinking.

He was painfully hard, throbbing head pressed into his skin. 

Did you do this? Had you gotten the King like this with just a question and a kiss? Tip nearly purple with pressure, you rested your forehead on his collarbone and watched his stomach jump as you wrapped your fingers around it.

Alastor fought back a laugh, tongue nearly cut clean off with the attempt. This was better than he had expected. And he had just the idea to push it over the top.

When your head dipped to swipe your tongue over Lucifer’s cock, you both startled at the sudden sound of music. First you looked to the radio, then to Alastor.

One hand was loosening his bow tie, the other unbuckling his pants. 

“Don’t stop on my accord,” he bit his bottom lip, watching your attention return to Lucifer’s lap.

Lucifer raised a finger in protest, “I wasn’t aware this was a group activity.”

“The more the merrier.” Alastor whipped his belt off and tossed it to the floor, other hand pulling his member free.

“Three’s a crowd.” 

“Two heads are better than one.” When Alastor lifted your robe away and sunk himself into you, no preparation, you moaned into the blonde hair at the base of Lucifer’s cock.

Your breath over his shaft and now down his balls made his hips buck against you. Your hands gripped at Lucifer’s thighs, trying to get steady enough to return your mouth to his waiting heat. You could smell his arousal, your head dizzy with so many of your senses being assaulted by both men. 

“You okay, kitten?” A concerned hand came to your cheek. 

Your watery, lust clouded eyes met his, “It feels so good, Luci.” His dick jerked. When you finally managed to get him in your mouth his head fell back, legs under him twitching with the need to move along to the bobbing of your head. Lucifer was wider than Alastor, the corners of your mouth burning as you tried to take in as much of him as possible. 

Alastor’s hand raked long nails down your back, a whine ran from your throat and down Lucifer’s shaft.  He moaned in turn, trying to not connect the dots between himself and Alastor.

“I think you may need a little demonstration, from someone more–, “ Alastor leaned down, his face now inches from Lucifer’s. His hand wrapped around your neck, “experienced.” He pulled you up by your throat.

Lucifer watched, your knees no longer touching the bed as Alastor fucked up into you. One hand gripping your throat, one arm holding your body against his. Your face began to redden, and your thighs noticeably clenching as best they could, legs open and feet on either side of Alastor’s body. Lucifer winced, you looked pained, he wanted—

“Aa--Alastor,” Your voice was like honey, thick and sweet around Alastor’s name. Lucifer’s face fell flat, how could he have that? What did he need to do to have you say his name in such a debauched way? Why did that gangly sack of bones get all of the fun?

“See? She can handle more than you’d expect.” Alastor grinned, planting a kiss on your neck. You could see Lucifer watching through your wet eyelashes, his cock twitching repeatedly as his hand finally came down to touch himself. 

With the hand not holding onto Alastor’s wrist at your throat, you reached out for Lucifer. “Luci.” 

Alastor let you fall forward. Keeping your hips in the air and knees dangling just above the comforter, he continued his rough pace into your sopping cunt. Pulling your body on and off of his length with harsh drags he watched you lick from the base to the top of Lucifer’s member. Each thrust from him knocking your chin against it. 

When you popped the head back into your mouth and moaned around it from Alastor’s continued fucking, Lucifer gripped your hair with both hands. Alastor’s own erection jumped in you, the king of hell himself buckling from his dearest’s mouth. He could break him entirely by just pulling you off of Lucifer’s cock and refusing to return you. He was positive Lucifer would cry into his ruined orgasm if he did such a thing.

Tempting.

But, he promised to play along, for you. And he would, at his own terms. 

He pushed aside the thought entirely, instead returning to the task in front of him. Your tongue was pinned down when Lucifer was in your mouth, cock too fat to allow any room for movement. You abandoned trying to suck him off, and changed tactics to lick and kiss the sensitive flesh in your hands. 

Lucifer’s mind was—- he wasn't sure where exactly. His consciousness splintered around you. The feeling of you; your tongue was swirling around him, the first contact he’s had other than himself in literal years. The sound of you; your soft moans and huffs were both audible and physical, the hot breath ghosting over him. The sight of you; head in his lap as he leaned back, your ass in the air and making a satisfying slapping noise every time– 

Alastor. His eyes met Lucifer’s and a wicked grin took hold of his features. Lucifer could practically hear Alastor whisper across your body, ‘Watch this.’ Maybe Alastor had thought it, but he kept it to himself. 

Your hands began pumping Lucifer’s length while your body was slightly dragged away as Alastor backed up and let your knees find some solid ground again. 

Lucifer sat on his legs still, eyes flitting from between your face to the place you and Alastor connected. He could see Alastor disappearing inside you, and every intrusion had you gasping and mewling into the blankets. Your hand was still gently stroking him with outstretched arms, eyes clenched close.

Alastor smirked up at Lucifer, coming down over your back to reach around your body and find your clit with his middle finger. Immediately, you reacted. Legs squeezing together, hands stilling around your king’s cock. With a bite and lick to your shoulder blade, the radio demon set a bruising pace against you. That warmth in your core was spreading down as you felt him press against your cervix with every kiss of his hips. 

You choked out his name, a chant Lucifer had never wanted to hear before now. How could you make Alastor’s name sound so delicious? He wrapped his fingers around yours on his dick and began moving with you. Your eyes rolled up to him, a weak smile forming before your orgasm made your jaw lock. Alastor knew your body so well, bringing you to orgasm was like playing a well practiced song on the piano. Both required strong and fast fingers and a sense of rhythm. 

With a few more deeper, shorter moves Alastor stilled, too. Your knees slid down as your hips sank into the bed. 

Lucifer let your hand go limp, swallowing hard. He wasn’t ignorant to the way Alastor smiled at him as he reclined into the headboard, tucking himself back into his pants. 

“I have complete faith in you, for once.” Alastor teased Lucifer, hand motioning to your still limp body. His smile seemed to dare Lucifer, challenge him, to keep going even with Alastor’s release sitting pretty in you. 

Luci took a deep breath, steadying himself mentally, before pushing the hair from your forehead, “Hey there, kitten. What do ya need?”

With an uncharacteristic hunger in your eyes, you forced your line of sight up to him, “You, Luci.” Visibly shuddering, you sat up and brought your legs towards him, your knees touching each other in an odd display of shyness. Your hand felt at your entrance, Alastor’s seed just beginning to find its way from your relaxed walls. 

“Is it okay?” You asked, spreading the thick fluid between your fingers in front of Luci. 

Something between a grimace and a pout came over him, it wasn’t his ideal situation but the idea of — just how much he’d slip and slide between your folds with the added lubrication made him feel feral. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Alastor hoped to ruin you and sour his experience. He decided to not allow it. 

With a kiss to his nose, you wrapped your arms around his neck and lied back. You weren’t sure you were breathing anymore when you felt his scorching head slot up with your entrance. He rubbed the leaking fluid over himself and you with swipes up and down your lips. The difference between his heat and the cooled cum made him shiver in turn. 

As he began to press into you, your body instinctively scooted away. It took both of your hands hooked under his arms to stay still enough for him to make any real headway. 

Luci stopped, your face clearly pained. Your head shook in response, “Please, you just have to keep going. I’ll adjust.” While both of his heads swelled with pride – Alastor’s cock clearly smaller – Luci didn’t notice the wild eyes of the radio demon. 

Alastor brought a hand to his face, red eyes peering between his spread fingers, smile threatening to break at the seams as he watched Lucifer Morningstar fucking his cum into his darling doe. 

 What a pitiful sight. How humiliating.

What would Charlie think of her big bad daddy? What would the other sins say? If they could see their king now, slick and shiny?

Your nails cut into his skin, and you were sure you were tearing slightly. Instead of attempting to thrust his way in, he chose to just continually press. The way your body seemed to be splitting made you second guess your decisions. But when his head finally popped in, your hole got some reprieve. He stopped, taking deep breaths. 

Tears were collecting on your waterline, Luci noticed and leaned on an elbow to wipe them away. His blonde hair was falling forward now, tickling at your forehead. 

You nodded, answering a question he didn’t ask, and he continued to force your walls open to accommodate him. The only sound in the room was the soft instrumental jazz number playing from atop the dresser. Your voice was stuck in your throat, Luci was focusing too hard to form words. Alastor could speak, but the music was just too enjoyable to interrupt. 

Finally, after what could have been two minutes or twenty, you felt Luci bottom out. You had to just lie there for a second, never having felt something so solid in your otherwise soft body. No slight to Alastor, who was perfectly skilled in his abilities. Luci was just—- more than you had expected. 

As he pulled out, you thanked the heavens and hell and the rings within that Alastor had left you so wet and already softened. The first few thrusts were genuinely uncomfortable, the pleasure you felt almost entirely mental, drawn from the reality of who was pulling your insides back and forth. You were so tight around him that he too was almost pained; so much pressure but no way to move enough to get any release.

Slowly, the ring of your entrance relented and Luci could finally move at a normal pace. He would take himself out to his head before slipping back in. Every thrust made your body spread around him, a semi-truck through a field of sunflowers. Your body didn’t stand a chance, and you were grateful he chose gentleness for his entrance.

He leaned back on both hands, using the position to fucked up into you at an angle. He knew very well where to hit to begin gathering your pleasure.

Alastor dropped his head, yours between his legs. His hair made a short curtain, hiding the look he was giving you from Luci. He adores the faces you make when you are happy. Excited. Pleasured. You tried to offer him a smile, but you couldn’t manage it for long. Your eyes would wretch shut, lips tighten as you focused on the feeling Luci was providing. Focused on the sensations, of being so full, so wet, so wanted. But Alastor was still watching, the sight of Luci blocked from his view as he enjoyed every little twitch of your mouth, every whimper. 

It wasn’t jealousy, it was something more personal that stung Luci. While he couldn’t actually discern the looks you two gave each other, Luci felt very much the odd man out. But, he considered his position. Literally. He was leaning as far from your body as he could. He remembered the way you said Alastor’s name. Alastor had showed him exactly what to do, albeit in his usual obnoxious, showy fashion.

Sitting up, Luci adjusted your legs and slotted himself between them. Alastor leaned back, relinquishing your focus. Both of you looked at Luci though as one of his hands came to enclose your throat.

Alastor was almost impressed. Almost. You brought both hands to wrap around his wrist, glancing to Alastor behind you.

The words came out of Alastor as half warning, half instruction, “If she needs you to stop, she’ll tap two fingers twice on you, wherever she can reach.” Lucifer nodded, eyes not meeting Alastor’s. He kept them on your face, watching for any sign of distress as he tightened his grip. The way your pussy clenched around him earned you a hiss.

He began to move again, the new position causing him to rub against your clit as he buried himself in you. More clenching; He tightened his grip more. 

“Are you sure she isn’t hurting?” Luci asked, your eyes closed and nails digging into his wrists.

“Nonsense. Can’t you feel her? Or does she just grip me like that?” The cocky expression made Luci unconsciously clench his fist on your neck. A gentle tap tap snapped him back to you. He loosened up again, his eyes large and apologetic.

You tightened your own grip on his dick, grinding up into him for more friction. Your body had finally relaxed, pleasure freely flowing from where you and Luci tangled together. You closed your eyes, the pressure constant on the veins to your head. Blood flow restricted just enough to lower your oxygen levels and raise the nitrogen oxide in your body. It resulted in a dizzying feeling, maybe there was a primal panic that caused your body to feel heightened pleasure. You didn’t feel scared, or in danger. You felt —— ah there it was. You felt weak. You felt docile. You felt like you existed purely to give pleasure and the idea turned you on. In every day life you’d never allow someone to use you, to push you around. You were anything but subservient. That’s why it was so enthralling now. It was so strange a sensation. And to give yourself so fully to the king of hell, the originator of all sin? You groaned, head rolling back. 

Luci watched your head loll, drank in your groans and gasps and felt himself get dizzy too. More. Say his name like you did Alastor’s. Praise how well he fucked you. Reward him. Love him.

He pulled out suddenly, his head leaving you for the first time since it managed to fit in initially. Luci put both hands on your hips and directed you to roll onto your stomach. He pulled your ass up, knees bent. You crawled up enough to rest your forehead on the crook of Alastor’s leg, one lazily outstretched and the other bent under him slightly. Luci wasted no time pushing back in. He leaned over you and pressed his hand into your back, forcing your chest to be slightly crushed into the bed. He pulled out and slammed back into you, tearing a yelp from you as he hit deeper than he had before. 

He stopped, unsure, until he felt your hand reach under yourself and rest at the junction of his knee and calf. His other hand came to your right hip, and he used it to keep you from sliding up the bed. Letting his eyes close again, he focused on the feeling of you around him. His crotch and thighs were soaking wet, his balls tight against him. Every drag out of you made his body jerk back into you with need. It felt so good, too good. He needed more. He pressed hard into you, oversized tip of his cock threatening to push past your cervix. He made shorter thrusts now, ensuring he bottomed out every time. It was too deep, too much of a stretch. Your moans slowly devolved into screams, the pleasure mixed with a soft burning. 

You could feel him spreading open your womb. The feeling of your cunt pressing down on him from all sides including the front was driving him mad.

You were screaming. Actual, pleasured screams, threatening to alert the entire hotel to your activities. Screams that started shrill and dipped into a gutteral cry filled the room with every thrust of Lucifer’s frenzied hips.

A tiny part of your brain felt embarrassed, a dying animal shrieking into Alastor’s thigh.

An ever shrinking part of Lucifer existed too, the piece of him too preoccupied with your two fingers on his leg to enjoy you. It got smaller and smaller, no longer a blockade to his pleasure, but a safety net allowing him to walk the tightrope of sadism.

The radio’s volume dial rolled, smooth jazz now blaring and drowning out your painfully pleasured cries. Alastor was fine with allowing someone to take care of your needs at his permission but strangers had no business enjoying your sounds.

As Luci became lost in the sensation of your wet pussy trying to suck him in whole, his hand on your back began to press down. Your breaths got shorter, it got harder to expand your lungs fully.

Face turned and drooling onto the fabric of Alastor’s pants, you started gasping out his name, “Luci! Nngh Luciiii, Lucifer.”

Your lips dropped his name and it fell like lead into his thoughts. He fought the urge to close his eyes again as he felt his orgasm building. He watched your flushed skin jump beneath every punishing thrust, his name a spell you could now barely whisper, not enough breathe to scream. Your upper body was entirely buried into the mattress. It felt like your back might snap with Luci’s loss of control. You kept your hand on his leg, ever ready to tap out.

The yellow of his eyes turned red, just like the skin of your ass where his hip bones chaffed. “You take me so well, kitten.” He ground out, “Daddy’s gonna cum.”

Alastor’s eyes glowed a blood red from the end of the bed, a wickedly devious grin across his face at the opportunity before him, he looked up at Luci and said with a commanding tone, “Cum.”

Luci was already over that peak when his eyes flew up to catch Alastor’s, it was too late to stop his orgasm. He was helpless to disobey, despite his now desperate desire to never cum again. With a moan, and a hiss, he pressed your body fully into the mattress. Your body now flush, he waited until his cock stopped jerking his long overdue seed into your bruised womb.

Luci lied on top of you even after you were full to the brim with his cum. It was already forcing its way out around his softening cock when he managed to roll off of you and onto his back.

Staring at the canopy of the bed, he felt two emotions rise to the surface. First, concern. He turned to you, and you gave a weak thumbs up.

Second, rage.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you.” He looked to Alastor, who was grinning as he pet your head, whispering something to you. 

“Little late for dirty talk, your highness.”

Lucifer growled, but Alastor’s palm pressed against his forehead and pushed him back down to the bed.

“I sleep on the left. I’d prefer you on the right.” he gently moved your head from his lap, “Beside me, my dear. A darling barrier.” Alastor didn’t look at Lucifer, just slid off the bed and walked into the en-suite bathroom. “No outside clothes under the comforter.” Alastor called from the bathroom before the sound of rushing water poured in.

You rolled onto your back, still catching your breath. Body sprawled out on the massive bed like a starfish.

Lucifer turned onto his side, hand caressing your arm. “Are you okay, kitten? I didn’t mean to lose myself like that.” He felt shame, like he had done something terrible. “And— I didn’t help you finish. That’s pretty shitty.”

But it fell away when you smiled back at him, “I feel great. Sore, but great all the same.” You let your fingers clumsily lace with his. “I really like you, Luci. And I don’t need to cum to enjoy myself. You can always try again, ya know?”

Lucifer felt his face grow warm, but couldn’t press you to clarify what exactly that meant before Alastor scooped you up and carried you to the bath.

There was a moment where he was alone, noticing the radio was back to a tolerable volume, the water splashing softly out of view. He felt out of place, like he had accidentally walked into a stranger’s home. He wasn’t sure what to do next, where to go from there when Alastor’s head popped back into the room, annoyed, “Are you coming or not? Those are clean sheets.”

༻Masterlist༺

[minkdelovely]

ptolemaea

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“i am no good nor evil, simply i am. and i have come to take what is mine.”

Nun!Alastor x Demon!Lucifer ; RadioApple ; MDNI 18+

tags/warnings: top!lucifer x bottom!alastor, alcohol consumption, accidental luci praise fic?, blasphemous debauchery, desecration of catholic imagery, smut (vague i know but if the previous tags haven’t scared you… 😂) also not a brag but i think i accidentally put my whole pussy into this idk what happened but here we are 🥂**didn’t implement tag list to avoid shocking y’all to death**

word count: 5.1k

author’s note: *natalie portman voice* i never said i was a role model. this companion piece (<- first part linked here) is dedicated to darling @hazelfoureyes who gave me courage to let my freak flag fly — please accept this as my humble offer of gratitude; it’s been an honor to workshop this idea with you 😭 totally get it if this crosses a line for some (please skip, i promise it’s okay lol) but i couldn’t be more excited to publish this. for anyone willing to join us on the yellow brick road to hell you are welcome to link arms 🙏🏻❤️‍🔥 theme inspo from ethel cain 🏚️ i also made a playlist for the party if you wanna check it out ✨

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Samhain was always a peculiar time for Lucifer.

Though he could come and go as he pleased between realms — with the exception of Heaven, of course — the thinning of the veil was the only time of year he could feel Earth from Hell. The energy of realms converging wallowed in the air heady as incense, enticing his powers to rest just under his skin. 

Or at least that’s how it felt. A not-unpleasant humming tension, aching to be released. It put him on edge, stirring him like a poker to hot coals as he fought to maintain his suave facade against the urge to succumb to the deeper power he normally held back with ease. It had never gone over well whenever Lucifer gave into the temptation… 

Except for the year he accidentally created a mound of rubber ducks. What a charming fascination that had turned out to be.

Normally he would make plans to visit with one of the other Sins or confine himself to his workshop to keep busy (use your imagination), but this year Charlie was hosting a party at the hotel. A costume party. He had no intention of dressing up (the fear that no one took him seriously enough as-is not completely unfounded), but he did find the practice endearing. Little mortals disguising themselves to hide from ghouls and demons. 

But he was Lucifer Morningstar, after all. Sinners and the like dressed up after him, not the other way around.

Exasperation pricked the king’s skin as Alastor suddenly came to mind, maintaining a perpetual state of unwelcome in Lucifer’s consciousness. He probably wouldn’t be dressing up either, the smug son-of-a-bitch. Every day is Halloween for that haunted sideshow, he thought bitterly with a laugh to himself, the sound echoing off the walls his only companion within the confines of the office — aside from the ever-present mass of ducks, of course.

The dilemma was still there when the laughter died though. Risk letting Charlie down by not dressing up and lumping himself in with Alastor by extension? Or don a costume and give the snarky demon and anyone else with a mocking eye the false impression of superiority? Lucifer groaned, running both hands through his bouffant platinum hair as he slumped forward at his desk. 

How had it come to this, needing to choose between love for his daughter or himself? Consumed by the current problem, he failed to recognize that this was an issue typically at hand, even when he lacked venom behind it. He was making good progress when it came to Charlie, but as they say, old habits die hard. There had to be a compromise somewhere…

A minute passed.

Head between his knees, his eyes shot open with the thrill of inspiration and he sprang from his chair, decision made. The familiar handsome smile graced his lips as he sauntered to his bedroom where an untouched suit awaited him in the armoire. He wasn’t the sin of Pride for nothing.

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Intersecting somewhere between Halloween and New Year's Eve, the newly-added ballroom of the hotel was decorated to the gills, not a single inch of it lacking in festive flair. Angel Dust scoffed when a DJ had been suggested and happily provided a playlist for the party, which was either really smart or really crazy. Or both. Only time would tell, but so far there had been no complaints.

Sinners were piling in, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the establishment. The cacophony of conversation, laughter, and music filled the space with a liveliness Charlie hoped would be a more permanent fixture at the hotel. She and Vaggie had taken charge of greeting everyone at the entrance of the ballroom, receiving some surprisingly sincere compliments on their Glinda and Elphaba costumes. Any derogatory laughter or smirks were being pointedly ignored, both women knowing full well that they looked incredible.

When Charlie spotted her father approaching in the crowd, her smile faltered briefly. “Dad! I thought I told you this was a costume party,” she said tentatively, looking back to give Vaggie a silent plead to keep up with the greetings before focusing her full attention on Lucifer.

“Oh, honey, you look fantastic! Pink really suits you,” he deflected, eyes and voice sparkling as he held Charlie’s arms out to admire the glittering gown, looking every bit the princess she was.

She drew back, not unkindly, when he released her and wrapped her arms around her ribs self-consciously. Groaning, “Dad…” 

It was quite impressive how she could admonish him with a single word without even meaning to. Must've gotten it from her mother, he thought absently, though Lilith wouldn’t know passive aggression if it slapped her on the ass. 

Thinking on his estranged wife, it was a true miracle how Charlie had blossomed into the compassionate and brave young woman standing before him. Lilith, never afraid to lead the charge; himself, too trepidatious to take the risk. Yet somehow their daughter seemed to embody the best of them both, reflecting parts of himself that he didn’t know where there.

He could have wept on the spot, suddenly fit to burst with affection for her — no doubt another side effect of the day — but the angel quickly refocused when he saw Charlie’s nervous expression toward him and leapt into damage control.

“Whaddya mean, I am dressed up!” he managed to answer with his usual charm. With one hand he pointed at his extended horns, a flicker of flame glowing between them adorned with his delicate serpent crown. The other hand swooped in front of his red suit with a flourish. “You’re telling me this doesn’t pass as a credible devil costume? You know, I actually held back. Thought maybe it’d be too scary for your guests if I went all out.”

If keeping his flame low and eyes neutral counted as holding back, and not just the ones in his skull. People got squeamish around him whenever the amass of eyes on his crown and wings appeared. He didn’t blame them.

Lucifer was rambling now, a nervous laugh the cherry on top of his need to save face. Though somewhat of a loophole, he had found the idea to be rather clever. Then again, he was trapped in an echo chamber of his own thoughts so most ideas naturally fell into that category. Was it really such a letdown? He could’ve bailed altogether, nerves already desperate for solitude, but he wanted to try for her. Even if it felt like two steps forward and one step back when it came to Charlie, he’d keep aiming to get it right for as long as she’d allow. 

“I actually think you look great,” Vaggie said smoothly, swooping in next to Charlie at the first break in the crowd. Lucifer would owe her for the rest of existence for the save. A debt he was more than happy to repay in whichever way pleased her best, making a mental note to discuss it later with the fellow angel. “It’s a lot better than what Alastor decided to show up in, anyhow.” The grimace on her face and in her tone was unmistakable. 

Alastor had fucked up.

It took all of Lucifer’s willpower to keep his magic in check at the delight that shot through him. The PR mess regarding what would equate to mass murder, regrettably, didn’t ping his radar. But the thought of needing to rebuild the ballroom was just taxing enough to keep the impulse at bay.

He was about to ask what Vaggie meant when Charlie stepped in, playing devil’s advocate as usual (no pun intended). What his precious, well-meaning daughter saw in that undeserving creep, he’d never understand.

“He’s just getting into the spirit! You have to admit, it’s nice to see him mingling for once, he’s usually so—”

“Grotesque?” Lucifer offered.

“Conniving?” Vaggie added.

“Reclusive!” Charlie practically screamed, earning looks from a few demons within earshot. “Look, I won’t say that what he picked out isn’t… surprising, but I’m just really happy to see him join in on the fun. He’s been enjoying himself so far, so I want you guys on best behavior, all right?” 

She said you guys but made solid eye contact with her father. Despite wanting to protest, Lucifer understood he was already off to a shaky start and conceded with a sigh, covered quickly with a debonair grin. Charlie didn’t know what a particularly big ask it was to be on best behavior tonight, but that was his burden to bear.

“Of course, sweetie, you have nothing to worry about! There are so many sinners here I doubt we’ll even run into each other.”

Famous last words.

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Lucifer tried to enjoy himself, he really did. 

In the brief moments before his eyes found Alastor in the crowd, it had actually been a wonderful time. He was immediately awash in the admiration of his subjects, even managing to make some poor creature faint with a simple grin in their direction — though he had really laid on the charm with that one. Could he be blamed though? After ten millennia of habit, calling it compulsive would be an understatement. 

Moments like this were a reminder of why it was good to get out of his office every now and then. Whether it was compliments on his look, praise for the fight with Adam, or outright solicitation for sex, Lucifer drank it all in; beaming as the crowd awed at the sight of fully extended wings he could no longer keep to himself. He really was the shit, wasn’t he? Being worshipped is truly unlike anything else, but it’s something to experience, not explain. All he knew was that he adored it. 

It had been a devastatingly short-lived escape, the proverbial looming gray cloud — never too far away — returning as Lucifer’s gaze fell on Alastor. He had been scanning for the bar and stumbled on an atrocity instead. Just his luck. 

The costume was a shocking choice to be sure, one that Lucifer might have even appreciated had it been on literally anyone else. But something about it on Alastor was simply… perverse. Leaving him with the struggle of trying to decide if it was the costume that was the issue or its inhabitant.

Was it the way the habit — embellished with red stitches on each side and the Cross of Saint Peter in the center — framed Alastor’s face, ears and horns still exposed with just a tuft of bang peaking out across his forehead? The pure white wimple that glowed like a beacon against the stark black surrounding it, casting an unusual grace upon the slender neck and broad shoulders underneath? Or how the tunic flattered the swell of his chest, the taper of his thin waist accentuated by the fabric swirling about his hips that flowed down over long, lean legs?

The demon, draped languidly over the bar, was chatting with Husker; the look on their faces was the most relaxed and natural Lucifer had ever seen exchanged between the pair, borderline flirtatious. Whatever the bartender said made Alastor toss his head back with a laugh, the exuberant sound of it piercing the angel’s chest like an arrow. How he had even managed to hear it so clearly over the music and the crowd was a miracle, or perhaps curse was more accurate. Still, the easygoing look on Alastor’s face as he came down from the laugh was bewitching, accented by a boozy flush and mischievous, heavy red eyes.

Insufferable.

The Radio Demon was in top form tonight, confidence radiating from him with such a forceful ease that the king could feel it even from his place across the room. He hadn’t noticed the literal sparks flying out of the pads of his fingers until he brought his hands up to tug at the collar of his shirt, which suddenly felt too tight. Fuck.

Taking it all in, Lucifer could feel the heat rising reluctantly in his face as he was consumed by a baffling mixture of lust and loathing.

All because Alastor decided to be a blasphemous piece of shit, he seethed, scowling as he narrowed his eyes at the sinner in question. Eerie, arrogant, pompous, constant pain-in-the-ass Alastor, riling him up like this? Lucifer had considered it number one on his list of impossibilities, caught completely off-guard by the rush of desire — if he had to put a word on it — for the ghoulish prick. An impulse he had never entertained nor wanted to feel in regard to the demon, but was there all the same.

“Samhain,” Lucifer cursed under his breath. The flame between his horns intensified, eyes prickling with the threat to change color. He took a breath, remembering Charlie. 

Best behavior. 

It was about as helpful as a bandaid over a bullet wound. This had to be a joke; a cruel, tasteless joke meant to provoke him specifically. Like he hadn’t suffered enough of those already in his long, long existence.

That was the only conclusion the angel could come to from his table near the bar, practically burning alive in his chair as he watched Alastor strutting around the ballroom in between breaks from the dance floor. Lucifer really had almost set himself on fire after catching Alastor in the middle of a sultry dance move with one of the guests, a rolling of hips he didn’t think Alastor was even capable of doing, let alone inflict upon someone. It took a double shot to mellow out when he found himself wondering what it would be like to switch places with that guest, though it did little to quell the growing ache coiling low in his abdomen.

There was a lull in the music and the crowd disbursed, quickly filling the empty space around the angel. Lucifer exhaled, somewhere between a groan and a laugh. Alastor had finally managed to dip out of his line of sight — not that the demon was forcing Lucifer to look — and the reprieve couldn’t have come at a better time; the solace of his absence coming over the angel like poultice to a throbbing wound. Despite being a couple drinks in now, the tension in his body was a ticking bomb. He needed the opportunity to try and decompress before he accidentally wrought havoc upon the denizens invited here by his daughter.

For at least the tenth time he entertained the idea of going back up to his room, if only to release some of the punishing energy pulsating through him, but he wasn’t confident that he’d return. The only thing holding him back was the promise he made to Charlie to be present and well behaved. And so, he remained committed to the confinement of the table he’d been bonded to for the last hour.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

In hoping to keep as much distance as possible Lucifer had unwittingly tipped Alastor off, landing the problem he was hoping to evade right in his lap. So to speak.

He always forgot that the demon could travel through shadow until it was too late. It’s just that he didn’t care to remember, not wanting to give Alastor even the tiniest bit of permanent space in his mind. Something he was actually too oblivious to realize he was already doing; they both were.

Alastor had of course noticed when Lucifer entered the room. Whether he wanted to was another thing entirely. Though it was to be expected, what with the dregs of Hell no doubt encountering royalty for the first time. Thankfully he had been at the bar with Husker, his captive bartender providing a welcome distraction with a joke about how his drink was going to cost a few Hail Marys. There were reasons Alastor kept him around, after all, beyond the obvious. Surly as he was, Husk had the capacity to be quite funny when the mood struck. He wasn’t on the clock tonight, but he was the only one Alastor trusted to pour his drinks. 

He could feel the glare beating down on him from that moment on, focused on him wherever he went. So he laid it on, making rounds and fluffing up the guests who were all too eager to devour his attention. It had been especially fun seeing the quick shock of flame in the corner after he showed off a risqué dance move, all for his majesty’s entertainment of course. If the spotlight was going to be forced on him, why not perform? But after an hour the joke was growing stale, and so the demon came to the conclusion that he’d have to be the one to bridge the gap.

Lucifer jumped at the shock of Alastor’s melodic voice coming from behind him, transmuting the glass in his hand into a duck without meaning to with a pop; amber-colored liquor swirling around within the confines of its new shape. Lucifer couldn’t decide what pissed him off more, the jump scare or the magic trick. The not-so-secret third option being Alastor’s proximity to himself, the heat from their bodies mingling in the small space between them.  

“Fuck! You know, you’ve got a lot of nerve sneaking up on me like that. I’m liable to make it a killing offense,” Lucifer sneered, tossing a napkin over his new little creation before anyone else could notice it. “And I haven’t been admiring you. I’m just, uh, keeping an eye on things! Besides, a king shouldn’t mingle with the general population. Might give off the wrong impression.” 

Sealed with crossed arms and a smug, toothy grin, it would’ve made for a decent enough comeback had it not been for the slip up. 

A dear old friend to Alastor, the slip up.

The expression on his face sharpened with a malicious instinctual ease as an idea unfurled in his mind. Lucifer was so obviously perturbed by him, the attempt he made at concealing it was almost endearing in a pathetic way. Though he was always in a pathetic way to Alastor, dark gums revealed in his ominous smile as his scheme took shape. He leaned in low, lips nearly grazing the angel’s skin as he spoke; his ear twitched at the catch of Lucifer’s breath from the action. He was so fucking obvious.

How humiliating.

“Is that so? Well, if you’re merely killing time here, might I suggest a bit of… sport?”

Lucifer flinched, pulling his face away to glare up at him. He couldn’t be insinuating what the angel thought he was, could he? It would be a bold — deadly — move even under normal circumstances. And tonight was anything but normal. 

Something was clearly in the air for Alastor too, if the fraternizing Lucifer had witnessed for the past hour was any indication (not realizing he had been the cause). He was known to have a flirtatiousness about him when he drank, but there was a different edge to it this evening. Lucifer was beginning to wonder if the costume was fueling his narcissism. Obscene.

“Well, your majesty?” Alastor goaded, radio filter frazzling as he leered down. To Lucifer’s chagrin, bedroom eyes looked good on him, the rotten bitch. “If not, I’m more than happy to leave you to your sulking.”

That was a lie and they both knew it, the tension so charged between them the air might combust at any second. Given the king’s proneness to accidents tonight (and the literal open flame above his head) it wasn’t an impossibility. 

As they locked eyes, some silent declaration was sent, though neither had received the same message. Or perhaps they did and therein was the problem, dooming them to be forever caught in this stubborn battle of wills. 

Lucifer tried — and failed — to ignore the portion of himself that, apparently, had been eager for the opportunity. He could give in… if only to set some boundaries on who was always the winner in this pissing contest. The smoky trace of whiskey lingering on Alastor’s breath caused Lucifer’s nails to dig into the flesh of his palm, golden pinpricks of blood rising in the wake. 

A proposition now effectively ratified. 

The Body and the Blood…

How sentimental.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

“Haaahh…! Mmmnn — ahh!”

“Fuck…”

It started off as a joke like so many things do when you’re scared shitless of vulnerability.

An insult here, a dare to chase it. Contemptuous eyes poorly concealing the desire simmering underneath. An angry meeting of mouths, all tongue and teeth and claws. The clattering of miscellaneous items being recklessly swiped off a table.

Glass shattering. 

More insults.

A bite to the lip drawing blood, tangled breath filling in the needy gaps awaiting any touch they could get. The first shared moan ringing in ears before scorching its way down, stoking the molten ache roiling in the gut, desperate to envelop them both and leave nothing but frayed nerves behind. 

Caressing, pulling, gripping, grinding, biting…

The party supply room was hot, air humid with sweaty musk and the steam of heaving breaths, the sounds of the party resonating on the other side of the wall. Inside were hisses through clenched teeth, groans of ecstasy; slick skin coming together then pulling away with the magnitude of storm-heavy waves crashing and receding on the shore.

The tunic covering Alastor’s torso did little to comfort him, stripped as he felt. In fact, the habit was still on too, the only piece of clothing torn from him being the wimple in order to free the expanse of his neck. Lucifer had spent quite a bit of time there, marking it well with harsh love bites and languid strokes of his forked tongue.

He was laid out beneath the angel, open mouthed and florid, vaguely coherent as his king fucked him senseless; seemingly determined to conquer the demon as wholly as possible. A task at which he was succeeding, if he hadn’t done so already; though to be fair he had never stood a chance against Lucifer. Not tonight.

Alastor hadn’t spoken a proper word in minutes, reduced to communicating through moans, groans, and sharp intakes of breath. Quite the accomplishment considering he was such an articulate fellow. 

Lucifer didn’t know it yet, but he would be haunted by the memory of seeing Alastor’s eyes roll to the back of his head once he found the pace he was currently keeping; deep and steady, just fast enough to stay ahead of the desperation that was never too far behind.

So tight…

The demon almost looked sweet, splayed out below him like this, lost in the throes of pleasure. It was a nice change considering the sneer that normally painted his face. But seeing him like this, brows knit and face flushed, the tuft of bang soaked into his forehead…

In this moment, Lucifer truly felt like a God.

He certainly looked like he could be, his demon form fully unleashed. He always felt such relief in this state. It was exhausting holding himself back, and not just today. Something he did all the time, not out of concern or ease for others, but because he had difficulty grappling with his station. Not that he’d give it up — hell no. But the burden of leadership was exactly that. Lilith had known it too, all too happy to take the reins until she wasn’t. He’d been happy to let her… until he wasn’t.

Maybe it was the melding properties of Samhain surging through him, but he could swear he felt a shifting. What good did it do for him to hide himself away? There was actually plenty of proof to the contrary. Why should he hold himself back? He was Lucifer Morningstar. Hell was his domain, and all its inhabitants needed a reminder that he was to be revered.

The Radio Demon could be their martyr.

Why else had he offered himself up like one? And the image suited him well.

“I showed the Nazareth all the kingdoms of the world before they crucified him. What do you see, Alastor?” Lucifer growled, voice thick and smug with authority. He leaned down to nip and lick at the skin of Alastor’s open jaw, still whipping his hips at a relentless pace. 

Even with eyes closed — too much effort, they were so heavy to keep open — Alastor could see him perfectly, the image of Lucifer seared into his mind. Eyes. Glowing red eyes to match the flame roaring between his fully formed horns and the apple that topped his serpent crown like a sparkling ruby. Leering, all-seeing eyes on seraphim’s wings. 

A fanged grin so self-satisfied it was like looking directly into the sun. 

A God.

It burned him to admit it.

But the wanton moan that tore through Alastor’s chest pierced the room, coming on so quickly he never stood a chance at restraining it. The words spilling from Lucifer’s mouth in deep rumbles threatened to unravel the meager hold Alastor had left on his dignity. Absent claws bit into the flesh of the demon’s thighs as the angel momentarily hitched from the way Alastor clenched around him, hot and greedy as if needing to milk him for all he was worth.

The king let out a husky laugh in response, latching onto a particularly enticing patch of Alastor’s neck where it met the shoulder; reveling again in the salty musk that coated his tongue before biting down, filling his mouth with the satisfying taste of iron.

Alastor opened his mouth in a soundless plead, his mouth and throat dry from exertion. Impossible as it seemed, tears pricked at the corner of his eyes; his painfully hard and untouched dick throbbed, weeping against his stomach and into the fabric of the tunic. It was too much… He was too full, too surrounded, too helpless.

Consuming. 

Yes, that’s what it felt like. 

He had never been on the opposite side of it before. 

And despite it all, he could feel his orgasm pooling low in his belly, balls painfully full and tight. That gnawing tension yearning for relief as Lucifer’s thick arousal punished his spongy core. Once the angel pulled away from his neck, Alastor couldn’t help but reach down to touch himself, so in need of climax he didn’t care what it took to get it.

Lucifer roared at the sight, cock twitching as his own release threatened to spill, but managed to hold it back. Delicious as this was to witness, he couldn’t let Alastor get to the finish line just yet; his pointed tail coming around to snatch the demon’s hand away as he pulled out, exhaling with a strained grunt.

The sudden absence of both sensations left Alastor to writhe in frustrated ache, practically sobbing through gritted teeth at the loss, which Lucifer mercifully tried to soothe with languid kisses and nips to the demon’s inner thigh. He wasn’t a completely unfeeling Lord, after all.

He just needed one last thing before letting them both attain the high they so desperately wanted, his eyes shifting back from radiant flame to red and yellow with a blink as he wrapped his hand around Alastor’s angry, dripping length. It wouldn’t be long now, the poor creature was so hard and wet to the touch.

Alastor cried out, regaining some semblance of himself as he unconsciously bucked into Lucifer’s unmoving hand; his mouth made a sticky sound as he swallowed hard, moisture finally returning to his parched throat. 

“Luci…fer… please — I can’t…!” Alastor practically tore the words out between heaving breaths, tears burning his skin as the shame of needing to beg deepened his rosy blush to an intense red. 

He hadn’t expected the demon to beat him to the punch, unable to fight the grin of victory painting his lips as his eyes resumed their fearsome glow. Benevolently rewarding Alastor with a few firm strokes, he relished the lewd, wet sound of it joining the chorus of his subject’s carnal whimpers. Lucifer bent down and flattened his tongue, giving a slow wide lick to Alastor’s leaking cock from base to head, finishing with an obscene slurp. How could he possibly have denied himself such a precious offering? 

A pleased hum rumbled in Lucifer’s chest when Alastor slung an arm over his face, gossamer strings of spit between his lips as he shuddered, “Oh god… fuck…”

That would work. 

Lucifer buried himself back into Alastor’s enticing heat, continuing his ministrations as his hips set a slow pace. A mewling groan spilled from the demon’s mouth, hips rolling to meet each of the angel’s thrusts. Lucifer’s peak was quickly approaching, too lost in the divine feeling of Alastor’s body surrounding him, already lamenting the thought of being finished.

“You poor thing… Did I fuck all the attitude out of you?” the angel taunted, golden blood dripping down the side of his mouth from the force of his smile.

No longer capable of holding it back, the orgasm crashed through Alastor with the force of an avalanche, heart threatening to burst through his chest; the sound of its rapid pounding nearly drowning out his own scream of rapture. He spasmed so tightly that the king had to still himself, the grip on him almost painful. Hot, thick cum shot onto the demon’s stomach and Lucifer’s hand in gratifying spurts as he stroked him through his high, desperate for every drop he could wring out.

Inspired by the mess in front of him, the angel pulled out and brought one of Alastor’s hands to him, guiding him until he felt life twitch back into the demon’s fingers. The grasp was a little too harsh, Alastor perhaps using this as a chance for revenge if the look in his eye was any indication, but it didn’t matter. Nothing could take this conquest from him. It wasn’t long before Lucifer was rutting into the demon’s hand, groaning through clenched teeth as his face twisted up before spilling himself into Alastor’s palm.

Lucifer gave himself a moment to revel in the bliss of their debauchery before cleaning them up with a snap of his fingers. He was too worn out to put more effort into it than that, and hey, got the job done, didn’t it?

They were still trying to catch their breath when they finally locked eyes, the post-coital sobriety already at work. Alastor’s ears flattened as he glared at the angel, a rare grimace on his lips.

“No one knows about this. Understood?” he threatened, the static crackling in the air around him.

“Ha! Who do you think you’re talking to? Now I know I fucked you stupid.”

Their fistfight didn’t last long, but provided a great cover for their absence when they stumbled back to the bar in desperate need of a strong drink.

So much for best behavior…

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

“How did you do it by the way, the last temptation of Christ?” Alastor couldn’t believe he was asking, the bitterness clear in his voice, but he figured it might be his only chance to find out without seeming too curious.

It took Lucifer a second to process the question, an easy smile spreading across his face. “Oh what, showing Jesus the world? I just whipped out a map*.”

Insufferable.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ �� ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

ps: don’t worry, alastor was prepped before getting railed lol it just happened off screen 🫠

*biblically accurate if you can believe

[minkdelovely]

“Please don’t regret this,” Lucifer says, radio filter broken with feedback that Alastor can evidently still understand. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t-”

“Never,” he snarls, and Lucifer’s horns and wings spring forth, blocking what little light was coming from the room, creating the perfect darkness for the glow of the King’s eyes as Alastor stared down at him.

THIS RIGHT HERE. THE PLEADING AND EARNESTNESS IS TOO GLORIOUS.

And just another reason why I can never get enough of RadioApple. There’s so much to explore between their dynamic, but when they meet each other on the same plane… I could honestly cry. THANK YOU BARBIE for this exquisite gift — I can only hope my follow-up to this does you justice! 😭🙏🏻♥️

Yours, Mine, Ours

We're finishing up week two! We've got one more ultra hot story coming up from @synamartia (who also made our stunning Masterlist where you can see everything that's been written so far, including some absolute bangers from @fraugwinska @minkdelovely @sugoi-writes and @hazelfoureyes) and then we're on to week three!

Everything is moving so quickly, and y'all are in for some treats for the rest of the month! 😈

(As always, thank you to my beloved Frau for making my banners for this event- I love youuuu 💗)

Summary: In helping Charlie, some magic goes awry and Lucifer and Alastor swap bodies for a week. The usual shenanigans occur (and lead to boning) Tags: Lucifer has a vagina; body swap shenanigans

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

The last thing that Lucifer had expected three days ago was getting stuck in the body of the Radio Demon thanks to his daughter’s lack of magical training. He had assured her he wasn’t upset- and he wasn’t, really- but that was before he had awoken this morning after insisting they sleep in their own, original bedrooms with a throbbing erection that he couldn’t decide if he was allowed to touch or not.

One the one hand, this was technically his body for the next couple of days still. And with it being his consciousness in here, he didn’t think, ethically, there would be anything wrong with touching.

On the other hand, Alastor would probably kill him as soon as he found out- and he would find out, Lucifer was sure of it. Also on that same hand was the knowledge that when his mind was back in his own body, he would remember what it felt like- how Alastor’s gasps sounded as he pleasured himself, the weight of his cock in his hand as he stroked it, how-

Fuck, that wasn’t helping.

There was another little part of his brain reminding him that Alastor would be respecting his body. That the Radio Demon wasn’t interested in sex, and that anything below Lucifer’s belt would likely be ignored in favor of seeing if he could use his angelic powers since they were tied to the body and not the mind. Alastor also wouldn’t be touching himself if he were in his own body.

Maybe that was the cause of the problem though. If Alastor was ignoring his body’s needs, it made sense that the persistent erection wouldn’t go away- he needed release. And in theory, Lucifer could provide that. 

He bites his lips as he contemplates, wincing when Alastor’s sharp fucking teeth pierce the sensitive skin. Just to test, he palms himself over the blanket- and Alastor’s hips buck into the faint sensation, the slight friction feeling far, far too good. He holds onto the hope that Alastor would forgive him as he slips his hands under the covers, below the waistband of the deer’s stupidly comfortable pajama bottoms.

The first touch to his cock makes Lucifer moan, and it’s Alastor’s voice that rings out when he circles his fingers around the base and strokes. It was thicker than Lucifer’s own, when he opted for that set of equipment, and filled his hand perfectly, the skin silky smooth and hot under his palm as he set a steady rhythm. He wonders if he could convince Alastor to fuck him when they’re back in their respective bodies- Lucifer could always change what he had to offer on his lower body depending on Alastor’s preference, but whichever hole the Radio Demon wanted Lucifer would be more than happy to oblige if he could have this inside of him. His grip grows slick as the cock in his hand leaks, Lucifer’s thoughts making Alastor’s body react.

He pictures Alastor doing the same thing to his body- fisting his cock or pumping fingers inside of himself depending on what manifested in response to the arousal, caught in a cycle of crying out and being more turned on by the sound of Lucifer’s voice moaning out his name. He knows it's a pointless fantasy- if Alastor was doing anything with his body, it was probably just pinching and poking and prodding to see what weak spots the King had so he could use them to his advantage down the line- but it’s an effective one. He feels Alastor’s balls drawing up tighter to his body, just on the precipice of release. He opens his mouth to moan out his own name, just to know what it sounded like in Alastor’s static filter-

“Why do you suddenly have a vagina?” The doors to his private quarters fling open, and Lucifer opens his eyes to see his body centered in the doorframe- Alastor had come, his cheeks aflame and his eyebrow creased. Was that what he looked like when he was angry? “I was minding my business this morning, just waking up, and now there’s- this,” he snaps, gesturing at Lucifer’s lower body. 

And Lucifer knows with startling clarity exactly what happened, having been in his body for millenia and having been in relatively close quarters to Alastor for almost a year.

He had caught his own scent on his sheets and Lucifer’s body reacted like it always did- like a fertile doe ready for the strong buck it had scented. Sure, it was a little embarrassing to be in a meeting with Charlie and suddenly realize his genitals had changed when Alastor walked by and wafted his scent by him, but Lucifer was used to that.

Alastor, obviously, was not.

He tries as casually as he can to remove his hand from Alastor’s dick, but of course he notices- he might not have his monocle but in Lucifer’s body he would have perfect vision, certainly enough to see the subtle shift of the covers as Lucifer released his weeping cock. “What are you- have you been doing this the whole time?” He stalks further into the room, the door slamming behind him, and Lucifer wonders if he could actually die trapped in a Sinner’s body like this.

“Hold on, Al, just- wait, what are you doing?”

Because the sight he was seeing didn’t make sense as Alastor used Lucifer’s limbs to climb atop the bed, straddling his body’s waist and grinding down.

“Do I smell like this to you all the time?” He asks incredulously. “I want to devour you.”

The words travel through Lucifer’s brain and manifest in the form of Alastor’s cock straining, hips bucking up against the wet heat he finds from his own body. “Fuck, Alastor, slow- slow down!” He panics, when Alastor snaps his fingers (of course he figured out how to use the most basic of Lucifer’s magic) and the pants on the King’s body disappear while shoving the blankets down below Alastor’s waist. Lucifer garbles out some sort of noise when his hands wrap around Alastor’s cock again, slotting up against the slick folds of Lucifer’s cunt- and fuck, he really needed to stop this or they were both gonna regret it-

He grips his hands onto the waist of the body that Alastor inhabits and forces him to still- and shit, had he always been so slight? No wonder Alastor was always making comments about his size, when one of the Radio Demons hands could easily encompass nearly his whole thigh. When their eyes meet, Lucifer can hardly belief his own face was capable of such an expression; eyes glazed over, cheeks flushed, a bit of drool that started to drip from the side of his mouth. “Fucking Satan, you don’t actually want this,” he mutters. “You’re just- my body is reacting to your body and scent the way it always does, but that doesn’t-”

“Lucifer-”

“And I’m sorry! I just- it was so hard, I couldn’t help it- but I promise I won’t touch again, we can just forget about this-”

“Lucifer.”

“-and I can move out if you’re uncomfortable after Charlie fixes us, and once you’re back in your own body you won’t feel like this anymore-”

“The body I am in does not matter,” Alastor snaps, ceasing Lucifer’s static-laden babble. “Do you think I’m an idiot? Do you think you would have woken with that between your thighs had you not insisted on sleeping in our own beds?” He shifts Lucifer’s body enough to weaken Alastor’s hands on his waist, dropping the King’s weight back onto his lower body and giving a slow roll of his hips. Lucifer drops his head into the pillow and moans, the heat of him near unbearable. “My sudden arrival was not due to anger but frustration- imagine my surprise when I’ve been touching a cock for three days and it suddenly has magically become a slick hole that I have little experience with.”

Lucifer is so startled by the filthy words that he lets go of his waist completely, giving Alastor the free reign he needs to line up properly and start slowly sinking down on his own cock using Lucifer’s pussy- he was starting to lose sense of the possessive pronouns in play if he was being honest. All that mattered was one of them was inside the other and it was apparently exactly where both of them wanted to be.

Tight, silken warmth envelopes him, and he feels the sudden weight of Alastor’s antlers growing atop his head, digging harshly into the headboard. He hadn’t fucked anyone since Lilith had left, certainly not with his pussy, so the walls that clenched around him gripped like a merciless vice, velvety soft and slick with desire. He found the sense of mind to dig Alastor’s claws into his body’s hips again, pulling him down harshly and punching a moan from his chest with the force of it.

This was how Alastor would experience it, Lucifer realized, when they were back in their own bodies. This was the sensation he would have wrapped around his cock, the body held in his hands soft and supple and pliant- if anything, Lucifer would make more noise being fucked so well. 

Alastor makes a soft, broken sound above him, Lucifer’s face contorted in frustration. “It’s not enough,” he pants, “why is it not enough? I can fucking- feel it, like a bone about to break but I can’t finish.”

He takes one of his hands, guiding his own fingers to the sensitive clit at the apex of the angel’s thighs. When Alastor takes over, brushing across the swollen bundle of nerves, the body he occupies jerks- inner walls tense around Alastor’s cock, twitching and fluttering at the sudden onslaught of pleasure. “Oh, fuck,” Alastor moans in Lucifer’s voice, and Lucifer has to agree. It made everything that much more intense as Alastor started furiously rubbing, free hands coming down to sink claws into his own body’s chest as his hips bucked wildly, chasing the sensation. The sounds in the room were filthy, spurring Lucifer into digging Al’s feet into the bedding and thrusting up to meet him. It has to be the right move, because Alastor whimpers above him, eyes flying open to meet Lucifer’s.

“Please don’t regret this,” Lucifer says, radio filter broken with feedback that Alastor can evidently still understand. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t-”

“Never,” he snarls, and Lucifer’s horns and wings spring forth, blocking what little light was coming from the room, creating the perfect darkness for the glow of the King’s eyes as Alastor stared down at him. “You have no idea how I’ve waited- how I’ve craved you- to know that my scent alone brings your body to this state is bliss,” he pants, “that I can never live without knowing again and again.” His whole body is tensing, fingers working hard between his legs before he lets out a whine, collapsing to press their mouths together as he shudders into a strong orgasm .

The rhythmic clenching around the sensitive hardness of Alastor’s cock has him cumming, sharp jolts of ecstasy causing him to spill into his own body, hot pulses of release that flood and leak from Lucifer’s messy cunt. His brain feels fuzzy, head aching from the weight of the antlers, muscles sore from vigorous movement that Alastor’s body clearly wasn’t used to. The last bit of his orgasm has his cock twitching inside the still fluttering walls, a sensation that makes Alastor shudder on top of him and moan weakly into his mouth.

It’s an odd experience, to taste the way one’s own sounds of pleasure sound. He hopes that when they’ve returned to their own bodies that Alastor will find it enjoyable as well, Lucifer’s panting breath along his tongue, lips brushing together. 

Maybe there was part of Lucifer hoping that the act would put them back into their own bodies so they could repeat it, but minutes pass and nothing changes but the slowing breath of the body that rested on top of him. He brings one of Alastor’s hands up to card through his own soft blonde hair, knowing exactly the pleasurable tingles that it would send down his spine. 

“Give me ten minutes,” Alastor says muffled into his chest, “and we can go again.”

“I think you mean give me ten minutes,” he says, though he can already feel the jump of his cock in response to Alastor’s words. “I’m the one with the dick at the moment.”

“I’m aware. And I’m also aware of my body’s refractory period.” He trails a finger down his body’s fluffy chest, circling a nipple and making Lucifer release a warbled hiss. “I think there’s quite a bit that we can teach one another before we return to our own bodies, don’t you think?” He seems to take an answer from the sight of his signature grin, bringing their mouths together once more with a contented sigh.

[radioapplerevue]

Radioapple Fic Recs #2

I'm finally getting around to updating my fic recs, and I decided that it would get a bit too unwieldy to just keep adding on to the original post. So, from now on I'll be putting them into different parts and then linking them in an archive post, which I will pin on my blog. For now, my first post of recs can be found here.

There are also a bunch of unfinished fics that I have been keeping an eye on that I haven't read yet because they are fairly early on and their tags say something along the lines of "it gets worse before it gets better" haha. There are enough fics grinding my heart into dust at the moment, but just know that I am seeing those chapter counts go up. I'm Watching You.

Now, onto the recs!

Home Stretch by @tarmairons (mature)

Welcome to the most convoluted game of 20 questions I've ever seen. I love the slow, purposeful approach to showing how Lucifer and Alastor's relationship is shifting and merging to not only accommodate each other, but also tie them closer together. This is an entire fic of them attempting to communicate and really, honestly trying even if neither of them are sure of what the hell they're doing. And, of course, I love when fics really take the time to explore how Alastor's asexuality (and lack of experience with intimacy in general) would affect his approach and behavior when it comes to sex with Lucifer -- and also how Lucifer learns to handle Alastor in a way that meets his needs, even if the things Alastor needs are not what Lucifer's used to.

2. To Be The Perfect Angel, Some Sin Must Be Done by @hismercytomyjustice (ratings vary by part)

This is a series I've really super been enjoying, largely because it's just fun. Don't get me wrong, the explicit parts are hot too, but it's fucking funny and there's just such an enjoyable push and pull dynamic between Alastor and Lucifer here, where each give as good as they get and actually end up... maybe.... enjoying it? Whoops? And oh shit here comes feelings, where did those come from. And as always, I enjoy seeing how Alastor's asexuality is handled here, with his discomfort with making decisions or taking the lead in bed causing them to develop a dynamic where Lucifer makes all the calls, and Alastor makes the terrifying choice to trust him with his own body, pleasure, and safety. Plus, excellent use of the shadow here. Having the shadow play a significant role in a fic is always one of my favorite things, and I am also very here for shadow fucking at all times.

3. somewhere down the line by kj_crwn (explicit)

This is one of the "Alastor and Lucifer meet in the living world first" fics. I love Lucifer basically just coming up to the living world to be the biggest nuisance to Alastor he could possibly be, but whoops, I guess Alastor's into that. There's a lot of murder, a lot of two assholes trying to drive each other nuts (and succeeding), a lot of sexual tension, and a lot of said assholes being really, really bad at feelings. I particularly enjoy what happens from the time of Alastor's death up to the conclusion of the fic, and the way they have to come to grips with what their relationship is now, what it could be, and what they want it to be.

4. T is for Tax Evasion by @radiaurapple (teen and up)

This is a brand new fic, but my goodness I loved it immediately. I loved the take on Heaven's fucked up bureaucracy, I loved Lucifer's panic, guilt and weariness, and I love how God is a fucking dick. It's such an interesting concept that is explored through Lucifer's slowly crumbling psyche as the knowledge he's going to lose Alastor becomes more and more certain. Or is it? There are few things I love more than pre-emptive grief and utter desperation, and the emotional payoff is just so good. I would have loved to have seen more of the fallout, but regardless, this is one that I'll definitely be thinking about for a while.

5. I Will Dance Divine by @rahabs (mature)

This fic caught my attention immediately. A large part of is exploring Alastor and Lucifer's relationship through dance, and the first chapter is immediately gripping. There's such an immediate magnetism to them, as well as the clash between the performance they are putting on and the quiet battle they are having with each other. It made me so look forward to seeing where it goes. So far it seems to be a slow, but very thorough burn, with the fic taking its time to really let them come together naturally, and learn about each other in tantalizing pieces. I dearly hope it is continued as I want to see more, but what there is already is also a wonderful read.

6. Muzzle for My Lover by sabbathgoat (explicit)

This is a smutty one-shot, but it has one of my favorite depictions of a sexual dynamic between Alastor and Lucifer in anything. There's such a deep undercurrent of trust here, a trust that has been hard-earned over years. Lucifer's handling of Alastor, knowledge of his fluctuating boundaries and internal battles when it comes to his own body and desires, combined with his intense love and tenderness towards him just bleeds through the entire fic. I would happily read a several chapter story with them just lying there cuddling and doing nothing else if it was written with this same weight. It's one of those cases where you don't need to be told how in love they are, because it's impossible to not feel it.

7. Stolen Moments by @mothballmilkshake (ratings vary by part)

This series is quite the rollercoaster! Alastor and Lucifer's relationship in it hits some great highs and also some serious lows, because they are both so so bad at this oh my god. I like that it's from Alastor's POV, because I feel like we don't get that very often, particularly in the longer fics. And I also like that it just shows us what an absolute fucking disaster he is, haha. The continuing plot line regarding Alastor's deal is interesting and groundwork is being laid for some serious shit to go down later on. We'll have to see if Lucifer and Alastor's foundation has been built strong enough by then to not crumble under the pressure. But hey, after all they've gone through, I believe in them (.....mostly).

8. Hope Against Hope by OrlesianHat (explicit)

I don't tend to be into non-canon AUs, but I found I enjoyed this one quite a lot. Lucifer is being sent on a blind date, and the person he meets isn't exactly what he expected... or is he? There's no murder involved so automatically the fic is much gentler than canon would be, particularly with Alastor, but a while after reading it I had to go digging to find it again because something about it stuck with me. I love Alastor's unrepentant selfishness, and Lucifer's long-suffering mood of 'these are things I really should not be okay with but apparently I'm okay with them because I'm still here'. If you're looking for something a little softer after all the angsty cliffhangers we get in other fics (the angsty cliffhanger in this one has been resolved, thank you), then this might be for you.

[speakofthedebbie]

by popular demand (re: one person) some radioapple fic recs!! (i hope thats what you meant lol most of the fics i read are just radioapple)

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 3 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic

im not sure if its meant to be read as such but it kinda feels like a squeal to bedtime rituals in a way (edit: not meant to be read as such, just the same vibe)

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut and ive been trying to step back from that because "ive seen worse" isnt a valid excuse for that torture actually)

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i am foaming at the mouth till friday (depending on how this goes, that might be tomorrow or today)

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. also emily is there (fallen) tho we havent seen her in a sec. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6(?) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and minzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent of for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

cannot stress it enough but this is a WORKING list i WILL be coming back to it bc these are purely the fics i could think if off the top of my head. IN FACT, if any of you have radioapple fics you love, SEND THEM THE FUCK IN! i am one person whos only been in this fandom for 4 months, and reading fics/shipping radioapple even less, theres bound to be some ones i missed that you think are Worthy™️! and if theyre nsfw then at the very least it shouldnt be the main focus

EDIT: so sorry anyone who reblogged this before had to see the disgusting unedited version. literally just found out that tumblr doesnt apply edits to reblogs. what the fuck

[mousy-nona]

First — I love your work and your account! Your characterization is incredible and I really enjoy your style. Second — Radioapple prompt! I know its a common one in the fandom, but I love the concept of them dancing/getting to know each other through mutual love of music. Not too specific, but I think it definitely has room to be cute! <3

A major sacrifice

But clueless at the time

Enter, Caroline

Just trust me, you'll be fine

“What is that noise?”

Lucifer turned around warily. It was always good to be wary around Alastor. “Music.”

Alastor gave him a Look. It was his “Don’t Be An Obtuse Idiot” look, the one he saved just for Lucifer. 

He sighed. “It’s a song. The humans come up with some interesting stuff when left to their own devices.” He waved to the radio sitting on his desk. “It took a bit of work, but I managed to figure out how to connect this old thing to some of Earth’s music stations.” 

Alastor’s ears twitched, a surefire sign he was interested and trying not to show it. He lowered himself down onto the other side of the sofa, and they listened in silence together. 

And when I'm back in Chicago, I feel it

Another version of me, I was in it

I wave goodbye to the end of beginning.

“I’ve never heard of these instruments,” Alastor mused. 

“Synth? It’s a pretty new invention. I believe it was heavily popular around the 1980s, and it’s gone in and out of style since then. What do you think?”

“It doesn’t have as much soul as a good saxophone or a piano riff, but it’s not horrible.” Alastor admitted. “I don’t suppose humans on Earth still listen to singers like Ella Fitzgerald?”

“Hard to match a once-in-a-lifetime artist like Ella,” Lucifer remarked. Alastor snapped his fingers, his eyes gleaming with pure, genuine delight. It was rare to see him so excited about anything that didn’t have anything to do with blood or death, and Lucifer drank it in like a man dying of thirst. 

“Exactly,” Alastor grinned. “I see you don’t have completely irredeemable taste in music.”

“She’s fantastic, but you will not believe some of the stuff they have up there now.”

Alastor glanced at him with poorly disguised interest. “You don’t say? Do you happen to listen to these stations quite often?”

“Every night.” 

Alastor paused, as if weighing his next words. “Would you mind a little company?”

The smile that exploded from Lucifer was unexpected – but not unwanted. And that was how the king of Hell and the Radio Demon declared a truce every night, between the hours of 12 AM to 1 AM.

—------------------------

“Boy, you’re in for a treat today,” Lucifer said as soon as Alastor walked in. “They’re playing electro swing on 58.3 The Breeze.” 

Alastor furrowed his brow. “Electro…swing?” He shuddered. “Sounds positively horrid. Why ruin a perfectly good thing with extra noises?” 

“Don’t be such a Debbie Downer,” Lucifer scowled. “Sit down, shut up, and give it a chance, will you?”

To his credit, Alastor did sit and shut up – for approximately ten seconds. Then he groaned. “This is a travesty. They’re calling this garbage swing?” 

“Electro swing,” Lucifer corrected. 

“No, no, enough of this swill.” Alastor snapped his fingers, and the song immediately cut off. “Let me show what true swing sounds like.” 

A moment’s pause, then a new song came on the speakers.

Heaven, I'm in heaven

And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak…

Lucifer perked up. “This is…Louis Armstrong?” Just the sound of his voice brought back whispers of slower times, of smoky jazz clubs and whiskey in crystal glasses, of dreams laid out on silver screens. Suddenly, it was the 1950s again.

Alastor bowed and held out his hand, every move so darkly dashing it would make Fred Astaire weep with envy. But his eyes gleamed with challenge.

Dance with me? Asked Louis and Ella.

Spellbound, Lucifer took the devil’s hand. He placed the other on his shoulder hesitantly, but Alastor’s grip was strong and sure as he slowly led him around the room. 

“I want my arms about you, the charms about you will carry me through,” Alastor hummed along. The old-fashioned words were perfect in his radio static, as if the song was made for the two of them, for this very moment. 

Relax, you silly goose. He’s just singing the song. He’s not talking about you, Lucifer tried to reason with himself, but it was exceedingly difficult to think straight with Alastor’s face so very close. His voice – oddly lovely for a man who specialized in conducting screams – cast a spell over them. Time stopped. And Lucifer relaxed, letting Alastor’s song chase his worries away. 

“Heaven, I’m in heaven!” 

—------------------------

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

“You’re listening to this again?” 

Lucifer blushed and scrambled to change it to another station, but Alastor materialized in front of the radio and covered the fast forward button with his hand before he could get to it. Damn those tricksy shadows of his.  

“I…I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Yes, that is one of the benefits of teleportation,” he said, as effortlessly smug as always.

“It’s not our usual time,” Lucifer frowned, peeking at the clock. 10 PM. Far too early for what was quickly becoming his favorite hour of the day, although he’d never admit it out loud. 

“Well, I heard a cry for help coming from this room, so I thought I’d be a good neighbor and pop my head in,” Alastor said.

“Cry for help–” Lucifer started indignantly, but Alastor put a finger to his lips. 

And the damn song was still playing. 

So when everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive…

Lucifer turned so red his entire face resembled a tomato on fire. “I can listen to whatever I want during my private time,” he spluttered.

“That would be true, but I can hear your ‘private time’ from the other end of the hotel.” Alastor sighed, as if no one else in the history of the world had ever experienced the pain of a noisy neighbor. “So I decided to check on you, just to make sure you hadn’t fully devolved into an angsty child.”

“It’s silly, I know, but sometimes listening to this stuff makes me feel…like I’m not so alone,” Lucifer admitted, not quite able to look the demon in the eye. “It’s been a tough couple of years.” Tough couple of hundred years, but who’s counting? 

Alastor didn’t say anything, but he didn’t leave either. Eventually, they turned the radio to another station – Billboard Top 100s, this time – and Alastor’s horrified face at “Think U The Shit (Fart)” made Lucifer laugh so hard water came out of his nose. 

He completely forgot about his depression. At least for the rest of the night. And that was enough. That was more than Lucifer had had in a long time. 

—------------------------

The next day, Lucifer came back to his room to find an old-fashioned ‘30s vinyl record player perched on his desk. A vinyl had already been set up, its arm perched delicately halfway through a song, ready for Lucifer to hit Play. 

Attached to it was a note.

As a thank you for all the new music. -A.

So Lucifer hit Play.

Immediately, the swing of the sax and Ella’s clear, dulcet tones filtered through the speakers. 

Blue days

All of them gone

Nothing but blue skies

From now on

I never saw the sun shining so bright

Never saw things going oh-so right

Noticing the days hurrying by

The record stopped there, as abruptly as if the entire track had been magically wiped. No matter how many times he tried to reset it and play it again, that was the only verse on the record. 

It didn’t matter. Had Alastor forgotten how ancient he truly was? Lucifer had been around for the dinosaurs, the age of ice, man’s first cities, and the launch to the moon. He remembered the greats, because that was his job. He was to live, and he was to bear witness.

He knew the rest of the song, even if Alastor had gone to such great lengths to erase it. 

Noticing the days hurrying by

When you're in love, my how they fly…

He smiled. And he sang along, letting the vinyl spin and spin until the words themselves were nothing but senseless sounds and only Alastor’s promise remained. 

“Blue days, all of them gone. Nothing but blue skies, from now on…”

[asherraccoon]

Sneak Peak at a WIP RadioApple fanfic (TW: Attempted self unalive)

(In collaboration with the wonderful @viviarts-c I am working on a fic based on their Ritual Self Torture AU! Here is a little snippet from it! :D)

Lucifer leaned on the railing of the balcony. He stared blankly at the ground below him. If he were to fall, it would be painful. He leaned his head on his arms as he contemplated jumping. Would it even do anything? 

He had tried this method before a few years ago when he was in the depths of his depression and isolating himself from everyone and everything. He had jumped off the balcony of his castle and let himself hit the ground. It hurt a lot, but he didn't die. He just broke a few bones.

Lucifer figured this time would be no different, but he was still tempted to try. Could he even die? He was an angel, the most powerful being in Hell. Being an angel, didn't that mean he couldn't die? Not unless angelic steel was used. 

Where would he even get angelic steel from? He knew Vaggie had a spear made from the stuff, but there was no way in Hell that she'd let him touch it. 

So he didn't have a way to kill himself that would for sure work. He sighed in frustration. He may as well just jump and see if that does enough damage to make him bleed to death. It'd be slow but worth it, he figured. 

He took a deep breath and climbed up on top of the railing, standing on it on his toes in a crouch. He held onto the railing to keep himself steady. He looked down. That was a long way down. He leaned forward, pressing the arch of his shoe against the side of the railing. Here goes nothing.

He pushed himself forward but was abruptly stopped when be was pulled backwards. His back hit something and two arms went under his knees. He let out a squeak-scream from surprise. He looked up. “Wh- Alastor!?” 

Alastor looked down at the blonde in his arms. “What where you doing?” He asked. 

“I-I-” Lucifer folded his arms and itched them. “Nothing. I was um.. I was going to go out on a flight,” 

“Without your wings?” Alastor asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lucifer looked away. “Umm…” he wasn't sure how to explain himself. “Can-” he squirmed in Alastor's arms. “Can you put me down?” he asked, kicking his feet helplessly. 

“Not until you tell me what you were about to do,” Alastor demanded, adjusting his grasp on Lucifer. 

“Can you at least hold me in a less awkward position? I have nothing supporting me besides my back on your chest and your arms under my knees and I feel like I'm going to fall and it's giving me anxiety,”  Lucifer explained, squirming more in Alastor's hold. 

Alastor hummed and obliged, adjusting his hold and carrying Lucifer bridal position instead. “Does this satisfy you?”

Lucifer put his arms around Alastor's neck. He tried to hide the way his face was warming up. “This is fine,” he mumbled. 

“Now can you tell me what you were doing here on the balcony?” Alastor asked. 

Lucifer avoided eye contact. “I-I'd really rather not talk about it,” he said, fidgeting with his sleeve. 

Alastor carried Lucifer inside. “Were you about to attempt to kill yourself?” Alastor asked. 

Lucifer tensed. He blinked his eyes a couple times and looked at his legs. He was silent. 

“Why?” The deer questioned. 

“I told you I don't want to talk about it,” Lucifer said, his voice almost a whisper as he began to tremble. He leaned his head on Alastor's shoulder and hugged himself. He was trying to prevent himself from crying. 

Alastor could sense Lucifer's distress. His ear flicked in annoyance but he didn't press it any further. Alastor walked to Lucifer's bed and set him down. He crouched in front of him. “Why don't you go to sleep? You might feel better in the morning,” he said. “We can talk about it when you're ready,” 

Lucifer looked up at Alastor with tear threatened eyes. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, nodding. “Okay,” he whispered. 

[adhdfuelednightmare]

seeing all this cute radioapple art is making me want to write fic about them noooo

but I do have ideas haha like teacher Alastor and single dad CEO of some big important company Lucifer who is figuring out how to care for teenager age Charlie since Lilith's death

but instead of actually caring for her he hires all these nannies instead so then Charlie of course being the angsty emo she is hates them all bc she's not 5 anymore

and so she bonds with Alastor bc he actually challenges her thoughts and doesn't care the fact that she's daughter of some rich guy, all he sees is another student to mold and while Alastor wouldn't be a cannibal/murderer bc I'm too soft to write something like that I'm thinking he's like a robin hood, stealing money from the insanely rich to give to the poor idk

anyways Lucifer comes to some parent teacher conference thing bc his nanny bailed on him last minute and it's hate at first sight bc hello who is this teacher and why does he think he knows Charlie better than Lucifer her father

and Alastor is thinking this is exactly the kind of behavior I expected from a CEO, haughty, thinks he knows everything and thinks he owns the place and this is exactly why he steals from people like him to give to people who are actually needy

and so now Lucifer has this new agenda which is to prove to this loser of a teacher that hey, you can run a super powerful and successful company and be a good parent at the same time and somewhere along the way they fall in love, Charlie rebuilds her relationship with her dad, and gets another dad along the way???

[xxx-angie]

"dance with me"

radioapple alcohol, talk of cannibalism, biting, blood consumption, non-sexual make out

1110 words

@lucifersruberduck

alastor sits at the bar and pours himself another glass of rye.

it was angel’s birthday, and charlie insisted on throwing a party for him. it was starting to get a bit late into the night and the radio demon had been drinking all through it.

vaggie and charlie had just started a duet on the piano. alastor taps his foot along to the song, looking around the room. he sees lucifer, who leans against a wall with a cup of apple cider. he watches his daughter sing with a smile.

the deer demon downs the rest of the glass and gets up, heading to the demon king. “dance with me?” alastor holds out his hand for the short demon, who looks up at him with confusion.

“y-you’re asking me to dance? why?”

“it would be fun.” the radio demon shrugs.

the short male lets out a sigh and takes the other’s hand. he finds himself pulled into the sinner’s chest, an arm around his waist. he looks up at alastor, who has a big, genuine smile on his face.

the other demons look at the two in surprise, certainly not expecting alastor of all demons to dance with someone. and definitely not with lucifer.

the radio demon looks up as he realized the music is gone. “why did you stop? come on, i could dance all night long!” he laughs and twirls lucifer around.

charlie nods and smiles at the two as she gets over the shock, happy to see them getting along. she looks at vaggie and they nod at each other, continuing with the song.

“there we go.” he looks down at lucifer and continues to dance with him. “oh how i wish rosie were here. she would enjoy this so much.”

“rosie? is that your wife or something?” lucifer asks before alastor pulls him into a dip.

“my wife? oh no no no no.” he stands up and pulls the demon king back up. “i don't have a wife. but she is a very dear friend, very dear indeed.” he looks at charlie. “and she would love to see charlie like this, so happy with her girlfriend.” he manages to grab his glass of whiskey as they dance, quickly downing it before setting the cup back down. “but even if i was interested in her, i'm not her type anyway. she might be interested in you however.”

“and what would her type be?” the pale king asks as he presses into alastor, back to the overlord’s chest.

“tasty.” alastor replies simply.

“tasty?” lucifer repeats as he looks up at the other.

“though I must admit, her ability to pick them when we met was absolutely atrocious. but it has improved. our last meal together was quite splendid.” alastor gives a light-hearted chuckle.

“and how do you know i fit the definition of tasty?” the shorter looks up at him with a raised brow.

“you have angelic blood, correct? after the battle, rosie let me know that it has a spectacular taste.” he brings the demon king into another dip, one hand under him and the other holding his chin. lucifer’s own arms reach up to grab his waist in an attempt to steady himself. “though i do wish i had tasted it for myself…” alastor leans in close to the paper-pale skin of lucifer's neck and drags his tongue up the side of it.

the short demon takes a shaky breath, his neck feeling cold from the other’s saliva. “t-tell me more about rosie?”

“she knows a lot about the queer community. which was personally quite surprising. she is much older than me yet still knows tons of terms that were made nearly a hundred years after my death.” alastor says.

“like what?”

“i don't remember most, but asexual stuck with me.”

“oh? how so?”

“when i was alive, i never really questioned myself. assumed I would meet the right girl some day. i knew that being gay was a thing, but i never felt attracted to men, so i simply never considered it. I otherwise never thought about sex. but terms like asexual… i never heard it before, but if i had when i was alive, that'd be me. i must admit, i am quite glad there is an afterlife, where I can continue to get to know myself.”

lucifer can feel alastor starting to get a little clumsy and slow. “i never thought of it that way before…”

the sinner sighs and stops, leaning his head on the king's shoulder. “i’m getting tired… mind escorting me to my room?”

the pale demon sighs and wraps his arms tight around the overlord. he easily picks him up despite their size difference and with a kiss on the forehead for his daughter, he carries alastor to bed.

lucifer sets him down on the end. “you need to let go.” he tries to back up a bit instead the radio demon pulls the king onto his lap.

one hand is around his waist while the other tilts his head up. “i’m sorry, sir, but i am really curious as to what you taste like…” he breathes against the other's neck. “just a small bite? i’ll promise not to leave more than a scar~” he chuckles as he looks up at lucifer.

the pale demon is silent for a minute, the look on his face showing he was genuinely considering it. finally, he lets out a shaky “alright.”

alastor smirks as he presses his mouth to the king's neck, then digs his sharp teeth into the flesh. lucifer arches his back and grits his teeth, claws digging into alastor's back. “shit!” he can feel the sinner's tongue running over the bleeding bite mark.

then he drags his tongue over the bite mark with hands tightly holding him in place. he reconnects his mouth the wound one last time before sitting up, lucifer's golden blood dripping down from his lips.

he suddenly grabs the king by the hair and kisses him roughly. the demon king gasps at the sudden action and alastor uses this to slip his tongue into the other's mouth.

and fucking hell, lucifer can taste his own blood on alastor's tongue. he leans in and closes his eyes and stays like that until alastor pulls away. they both pant, a string of each other's saliva still connecting their lips.

“alright, i’ve had my fun. i’ll let you go now.” alastor smiles and leans back a bit.

the pale king nods and gets up, heading for the door.

“by the way…” alastor lays down and curls up on his bed. “you really are quite delicious.” he laughs.

oh this was so fun to write!!

[fraugwinska]

FrauGwinskas Wonderful World of Works

Main Fic

on AO3 and tumblr (Alastor x Reader; #RadioGem📻💎)

Quick-Fics and One-Shots (#fraugwinskawrites)

The Nice (Fluff, Angst and everything in between - SFW)

Pour Decisions - Alastor & Reader Al and Reader have a pun-off, with Angel getting increasingly frustrated

Rainy Days - Charlie x Vaggie Just a little fluff between hells most wholesome couple on a rainy, boring day

Pandoras Box - Alastor x Reader Reader wants kisses - Reader gets kisses, whether our mighty overlord likes it or not (Spoiler: He does)

In Sickness and in Health - Alastor x Wife!Reader When his doe is sick, the buck will care for her. (TW: Mention of death by sickness)

Taking the edge off - Husk & Angel & Reader (+ Alastor fluff) A few drinks too much, and Husk finds himself being hug-attacked by Alastors girlfriend. Angel barely helps. Al to the rescue!

You put a spell on me - Alastor x Reader Reader gets caught singing and dancing by herself by Alastor, just to have him join in - both in dancing and in acting out the lyrics *wink wink*. The outcome surprises you both!

Fake it 'til you Make it - Alastor x Reader When Reader is stalked, Alastor - accidentally - has a most genius idea on how to help them. What could go wrong? (Tw: Stalking)

Mother'O Mine (Alastor x Reader) Mothers Day is hard for everyone in the hotel.... but one especially has a hard time. Maybe Reader will be able to help? (Angst/Comfort)

Worth a Shot (Alastor x Reader; Fluff) Reader has everyone in the hotel pictured, collected in a photo album, captured by her lense. All but one. But Alastor vehemently eludes her phone camera. Will a polaroid suffice?

Past and Present (Alastor x Reader) Alastor gives Reader the most perfect birthday present. Birthday One Shot for @alastor-simp

Gravitate (Alastor x Reader) - soon to come

The Naughty (NSFW - Minors DNI!)

Joke's On You - Alastor x Reader (NSFW) Alastor isn't the only prankster at the hotel. You join in on the fun,matching his energy and turning his solo act into a delightful double trouble. But the prank you want to pull on Angel might've gotten a little... out of hand.

We just have Forever (Alastor x Reader; MDNI) Waking up in the radio demons arms is nice. A little make out session before hell expects you back, is even nicer.

Shadow Games (Alastor x Reader x Alastor's Shadow; NSFW) Possessed by and therefore gifted to @hazelfoureyes What's better than getting it on with your favorite deer demon? Getting it on with him AND his ever-present shadow companion.

Pretty Desperate (Vox x Reader; NSFW) Bribe for @macabr3-barbi3 Vox hates Alastors new assistant who just drools over his friend. Too bad for her that he doesn't want her. And too bad for Vox that he doesn't want him either.

Transient Response (Human!Alastor x Reader, NSFW) When the new and only female sound engineer caught the eye of New Orleans favourite Radio host, she turned out to be quite elusive. But Alastor is always game for a little hunt, especially when he traps his prey in his broadcasting booth.

Antidote (Radioapple x Reader, NSFW) While almost everyone is away for a night out in town, back at the hotel Reader accidentally drinks a potent lovedrug. With Alastor and Lucifer beeing the only two remaining demons mannig the building, they have to somehow set aside their differences to help their darling girl.

Battle Scars (Alastor x Reader, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, NSFW) TW: Dark themes, mentions of self-harm and depression After a fight with Alastor, reader fights with herself. At the brink of relapsing into habits she tried to bury, he shows her that that's a battle sha doesn't have to fight alone.

Master of Puppets (Alastor x Witch!Reader, NSFW) Alastor and reader not only share interests in magic, but in each other. With what the little witch already knew and what Alastor taught her, she creates a gift that turns out to be a very naughty piece of witchcraft.

Heavenly (Radioapple, MDNI) - Gift for @minkdelovely Lucifer is tired. Tired of his domain, of his duties, of being a ruler... of just being itself, really. Ready to break by the circumstances and be put back together by the Radio Demon, who both infuriates and tempts him alike.

Mirror, Mirror (Alastor x Bodyconscious!Reader, NSFW) TW: Explicit depictions & mentions of ED and body dysmorphia An innocent remark from Angel confirms what Alastor long suspected. And he is determined to help reader see just how much more than beautiful she really is.

Sensory Overload (Vox x Reader, NSFW) Valentino's new hire is a genius when it comes to write about sex - but unfortunately, having it proves impossible to her because hell made her senses numb. Not even the moth pimp could get her off, much to the amusement of Vox. When they make a bet about whether or not Vox could suceed where Valentione had failed, Vox takes on that challenge as he does any other challenge. Head on and with full power.

Visions of You (Alastor x Blind!Reader, MDNI) TW: Depictions of attempted SA, Blood & Gore Managing hell without seeing, Reader made a modest living for herself selling books in her little store. A quiet, mostly uneventful life, until a certain overlord visits, interested in the various stock Reader keeps - as well as the little blind mouse herself.

No Hard Feelings (Alastor x Fox!Reader, NSFW) "Don't tell me you don't know?" he purred, a dark smirk pulling at his lips, a slight glimmer of the yellowish hue of his sharp teeth showing from behind them. "How quaint. I'm afraid I didn't take into consideration that you are not the type to make yourself acquainted with the hellish form you took on. Why, you're in heat, darling. A very... desperate and needy one, at that."

The Mini-Series (SFW & NSFW, mind the tags!)

Good Times Series - Alastor x Reader Al and Reader explore which era had better dance moves 1.Going with the times 2.Goody-Two-Shoes

Brat Series - Alastor x Bratty!Reader (NSFW) Reader tests the limit of Al's patience, it's just so fun! But what happens when his patience runs out? Uh-oh... 1. (Un)Holy Tease 2.(Un)Holy Terror

Hard Days Series - Sub!Alastor x Reader (NSFW) Alastor doesn't often feel the need to give up control, but when he does, we know - and we're ready! 1.Hard Day 2.The hardest Day

Actions and Words Series - Alastor x Reader Reader joins a lonely, tipsy Al at the bar for a night filled with much more than words. After the nightly drunken escapade, Charlie and the crew is hellbent on getting Reader and Alastor together. While Reader tries to stop the shenanigans, no one asks Alastor what HE wants. 1.More than Words 2.Louder than Words

The full Picture Series - Alastor x Reader Reader is an artist who draws everyone - just not Alastor. Which bugs him. Majorly. 1.Pictures of You 2.Ripped Canvas (WIP)

AfterLife Series (NSFW) Heavy Angst; TW: DARK themes, suicide, mental/physical torture, religious trauma Reader finds an old radio and with it, a friend. Her only friend in a word she feels shut off of. When that friends vanishes, she doesn't see another way to continue but to take a leap of faith. In the most horrible sense. You have to bargain with something much bigger than yourself, hoping to find your way to the one you jumped for in the first place. 1.Leap of Faith (Alastor x Human!Reader) 2.Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (Alastor x Reader)

Beauty is Power - A Smile is it's Sword Series (Alastor x Cheshire!Reader; NSFW) What's more dangerous than one smiling murderous deer overlord? Well, him with a similar murderous and ever-grinning cheshire wife, going out for a little game night. (Please mind the TW!) 1. Game Night 2. A Night to Remember 3. No Place like Home

Our Deer Family Series - (Angst/Fluff, NSFW) (TW: Sickness, Death) An unconventional offer from a gravely sick young woman turns Alastors whole afterlife upside down when she, now deceased, turns up at the hotel with the most unsuspected news. 1.One plus One makes Three (Alastor x Human!Reader) 2.What to expect... (Alastor x Reader, WIP)

Tempest Series - Alastor x Reader (Angst/Comfort, NSFW/MDNI) When Alastors nightmare threatens to destroy the hotel, Reader heads to his room, determined to wake him up before they are all buried in the rubble. But waking a sleeping beast is a dangerous thing. 1.The Eye of the Storm 2.Taming the Tempest

The Alchemist Series (Alastor x Reader, NSFW) The Alchemist, a powerful new sinner that quickly rises up the ranks of the pride ring's top demons and with no interest to join the elite group of overlords, is a thorn in Alastor's side from the moment she sets foot in hell. Chaos and Order just have to clash, so nature dictates The Alchemist and the Radio Demon have to do the same. Too bad that there is only a very thin line between hatred and love. 1.The Principle of Equal Exchange

#SlutSnacks (NSFW Shorts)

Early Morning Pick-Me-Up (Alastor x Reader) Incorrect Alastor x Reader Quotes: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 Lessons in Leather (Human!Alastor x Reader) Let Down your Hair (Alastor x Reader)

Collaborations

DoubleTrouble No.1: Sweet as Cherry Wine - Alastor x Reader (NSFW) Reader has her period, Alastor is a cannibal. Seems like a plan, right? (Alastor POV, companion piece to Reader POV The Blood is Rare by @macabr3-barbi3

Double Trouble No.2: Missionary Impossible - Vox x Reader (NSFW) (Reader POV, companion piece to Vox POV by @macabr3-barbi3)

One Word to lift the Pain of Life - Alastor x Reader (+RadioSilence) Regency AU piece done in the collaborative event 'PrideRing and Prejudice' by Bapples Orchard Discord Server, thanks to the one and only @bapple117

Never have I Ever - Vox x Kora (@macabr3-barbi3's OC) Fluffy One Shot of my favorite Vox/OC couple!

Asks to come (Not in chronological order; Working Titles)

For Reasons Wretched and Divine (Lucifer x Reader; NSFW) Business is Business (Alastor & Vox & Lucifer x Chuck the Tailor) Cheap Tricks and Tasty Treats (Alastor x Reader; NSFW) Midnight Snack (Alastor x Cannibal!Reader; SlutSnack WIP) Beyond the Horizon (Alastor x Reader; Part 3 of the Tempest-Series, NSFW) Stress Relief (Alastor x Reader; Slutsnack WIP) A Friend in Need (Alastor x Reader, Gift for the Coven)

[aryesdanger24]

I'M GONNA DO IT!

I am gonna make a Kingdom!AU For Hazbin Hotel, specifically for the RadioApple ship! Don't test me motherfuckers! If you don't see my vision it's fine, but I want you to imagine it.

Lucifer!King of the Hell Kingdom whose ruling style is very lax and minimal until his little princess (Charlie) wants to run a program to rehabilitate a small town to test a project of raising status through work ethic. She decides to do this in Duke Alastor's land because her father isn't supportive with her dream despite him letting run free for years to where her heart desired in the kingdom.

When he finally meets the Duke, the two begin to passive aggressively push each other to the point of them physically fighting. Charlie is disheartened and the King must put aside his feelings to support his daughters project....

So why does Duke Alastor keep pushing him into more fighting and cornering him?! Does he want his head cut off or have a death wish? Also, why does he keep bothering him even in his own home?

What on earth does Duke Alastor want from him?

YOU SEE???!!! THIS IS THE VISION!

(It gives big "Duke having more influence over the kingdom and wanting to do what they want and a king who is actively trying to passive aggressively put them in place or laugh it off" trope from webcomics except with a romance spin on them as characters. God it would be fantastic♡☆♡☆♡☆

Does this not sound like an interesting AU for them♡

[hazelfoureyes]

Do you think you could do a male version of the radioapple is the safe word? Or maybe just a gender neutral pronouned story? I adore it so much

of course! I am happy to adapt my stories whenever possible 🥺✨ sometimes I can’t but this one was an easy enough shift! didn’t tag the horny deer cult, this is the same story but with the hardware swapped out. Will tag in new pieces 🙏 warning; I almost exclusively watch femboy gay porn and it shows

The Safeword is RadioApple (Part 1)

(RadioApple x MaleReader)

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱ tidbit (cute, not smut) Part 4 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱✨NEW✨ ₊⊹⁀➴ Lucifer wins⟡Alastor Wins

tags/warnings/promises: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, smut, RadioApple in a sense, male reader, creampie, breath play, rough sex, Alastor is an eternal little shit, soft jazz, hard jazz, Luci calls himself Daddy, 🗣️ READER GETS SPITROASTED, threesome, asshole hulk smashed, half assed blowjob, help I got too horny on main

MINORS DNI BRUH

“Sir.”

Lucifer jumped, whipping around and shoving Alastor’s face away. “You are a living nightmare, fuck!” He hated being snuck up on, as most people do. Adjusting his hat, he looked around the hotel lobby to see if anyone else witnessed his personal jump scare. Charlie and Vaggie were seated nearby, but hadn’t paid them any attention.

“I aim to please! Now,” Alastor gestured to the stairs, “I, unfortunately, need to show you something upstairs.”

“Ha!” Lucifer forced out a laugh, “Ha. Haaa- Not a chance, scarecrow. Find someone else to search for your brain.” He smirked to himself. “Did you hear that Charlie? I made a joke.”

But Charlie was not laughing. She finally turned her focus to them. “Dad, you have to start trying to get along with Alastor.” She looked to Alastor who was nodding along as if he actually cared at all, “He’s trying to spend time with you. Come on, Dad. For me?”

With a pout, he dramatically crossed his arms, “Fine. I’ll play nice, for you. Not for him.” Lucifer glared daggers at Alastor. “Fuck him.”

“Daaad!” She groaned.

“Yeah yeah, I’m going.” 

Alastor let his microphone follow behind Lucifer’s back, an unseen and unfelt safety net so he couldn’t back out. When they approached Alastor’s door, Lucifer put up his hands as if to physically stop the situation from progressing, “There is no way in all of hell I am going in your bedroom.”

Alastor’s eyes rolled, frustrated already with the interaction. “Are you sure about that?” He pushed the door open, using his mic to make contact with the small of Lucifer’s back. He stopped resisting when he finally looked into the room.

He took a step in, willingly, and as he saw you sitting in the center of the bed in just your sleep robe, he let out a quiet, “What the fuck is this?”

Then a louder, “Heeey, kitten…”. The sound of the door locking made his head whip back to Alastor, teeth bared.

“Luci.”

Softened under the sound of his own name from your lips he brought his attention back to the bed.

It was no secret to anyone that you two were fond of each other. It was the little things you did that endeared the fallen angel to you, how you doted on him. Filling his glass at dinner when you noticed it getting close to empty, holding the door for him, keeping eye contact when he went off on some excited tangent.

Everyone was also aware you were Alastor’s person. And Alastor would give you anything you wanted in death; and today you happened to want Luci.

You’d seen the broadcasts of the King of Hell defending his daughter during the last extermination. The power he gave off, even from your screen, brought goosebumps down your arms. So when you found your way to the hotel, you were elated to see Lucifer himself readily available for interactions. Your luck continued, as your father’s love of jazz had been passed down to you and allowed the radio demon to notice your presence among the sea of new residents. Following the sounds of Nat ‘King’ Cole, he found you one evening in your room, and a mutual fondness for music bore a new friend. And then, more. 

Soon enough you were a regular member of the Hazbin Hotel core crew, by way of Alastor.

That’d been some months ago now, and you finally had the courage to ask Alastor for a special favor.

No part of him understood your motivation, but the idea of making the king of hell pussy-whipped to his darling was understanding enough. And, of course, the pleasure of watching you enjoy yourself. While he was capable all his own, he was happy to allow someone else to fill in. Not to mention—- no, actually, definitely mention the fact it would give him a little more power in the tense dynamic between himself and Lucifer.

For Alastor, sharing you physically wasn��t an issue.  Sex was something he did for your pleasure, though he did enjoy the control he held over you in those intimate moments.

Watching you mewl under someone else, knowing he gave the permission, that Lucifer would never have a chance in Hell if The Radio Demon didn't allow it, made his head dizzy with the loss of blood flow. Whatever pleasure Lucifer could give you was pleasure he has granted you both. The idea of someone pining for you but never having a chance unless he says so made him feel powerful.

“I have a request, of sorts.” You tried to keep your smile still, cheeks twitching with pure nerves. The room was lit by only two small lamps on either nightstand and the light coming from the half open bathroom.

Lucifer approached you, making a dramatic point of going past Alastor. The radio demon chuckled, the king of hell scowled. He placed one knee on the end of the bed, trying to forget this was the spot you shared most nights with Alastor. His smile encouraged you to continue.

“You can say no.” You added quickly. 

“Why would I ever do that?” Lucifer continued to smile at you, too sweetly for what you were going to ask.

“Many reasons.” You added quicker. 

“Come on, tell Luci.” He laughed softly at the idea of denying you anything.

You pressed the tips of your index fingers together nervously, “I want you to fuck me.”

He tried to blink but his eyelids only seemed to rise further and further up his face with every attempt.

“You what now?”

His eyes darted to Alastor, who was now crawling onto the bed and settling behind you. 

“It was a fairly straightforward statement, sir.” Alastor’s tone was always teetering on mocking when he addressed Lucifer, “My dear would like you, for some god awful reason, to bed him.”

If this hadn’t been such a shock, Lucifer would have quipped, “Oh because you can’t, you overdressed maitre d’?”

But when he opened his mouth, there was nothing. He just stared at you. Alastor’s long legs and lanky arms came down beside you, behind you. You looked like the enticing light of an angler fish’s lure, sharp teeth shining just over your shoulder. 

“I thought-,” he motioned between the two of you.

You nodded, “Alastor is happy when I’m happy. And right now, I’d be overjoyed to spend an evening taking care of you.”

Oh, why couldn’t you have said it so sweetly the first time? Take care of him? You always did. Every time he felt something lacking he’d find you close behind offering him just the thing.

Whether a smile, or supportive word, or just a sympathetic ear.

Shifting onto your hands and knees, you crawled toward Lucifer. His face was flush, his brows knitted together in some mix of worry and confusion.

“You don’t have to do that, kitten. I don’t need that.” He reached out a hand to touch your cheek but stopped himself; he’d never touched you before. He had gone out of his way to avoid it, because he couldn’t bear what it would do to him. He’d just be hurting himself, he had thought. His hand began to pull away but you reached out with both of yours and took hold of his wrist.

“I don’t have to do anything, ever, Luci,” Alastor’s grin widened as you said it. A hum of approval only he could hear. A silent, ‘That’s my boy.’

“This is about what I want.” You leaned up to rest your cheek in his open palm, “I’ll accept any answer from you.” Your eyes staring up at him promised safety, “So, what do you want?”

He buried his face in his free hand, opening his fingers to look over you once more. In the shade of the canopied bed, Alastor sat motionless. But Lucifer couldn’t see him, not because of the shadows but because his focus was so purely on you. He had absolute tunnel vision, which happened often when you two would speak. Lucifer made a low sound, coming from somewhere deep in his chest,  hidden beneath all his shame and sense of inadequacy.

Your question was answered as he removed his hat, tossing it to the chaise lounge near the wall. You sat back on your legs and gave him space to remove his coat. Your heart seemed to double its pace, skin practically vibrating. A not-insignificant part of you expected a gentle but firm, “kindly fuck off.”

He seemed to be avoiding eye contact as he pulled his bow tie loose, only returning his knee to the bed when he’d kicked off his boots. Just the shifting of the weight of the bed made your thighs twitch, finally. Alastor leaned backed and watched, Lucifer’s gaze was full of uncertainty as he crawled to you. 

Hilarious. Already worth the price of admission. 

Both on your knees, you leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Lucifer’s lips. Pulling back, you looked at him and he felt like we’re looking at the sun. Your face was so bright, and warm. What light were you reflecting back at him? Surely not his own. That was long dead. Long buried under bruised wings and lost promises. 

You snaked your fingers into his hair and brought him in for a deeper kiss. When you bit gently on his bottom lip, he shakily opened his mouth. Your grin spread across both of your faces as you pushed your way past his lips.

Lucifer’s tongue was long, and tapered more than you’d expected. It moved, unsure, against yours. Your hands slunk out of his hair and down his chest, sliding until finding the buttons of his vest. 

You felt him gasp into you, and when you began to open his shirt he pulled away, “It’s been… a very long time.”

A scream echoed in your skulll, your own scream, thankfully entirely in your mind. He was so cute. So soft. He looked so worried, you wanted to rip him to pieces with affection. Was that possible? You were going to try.

Your hands fumbled over his belt, the tremble in your fingers making the pants button feel like an aptitude test. Your mouth returned to him, kissing down his cheeks and into the space under his jaw. Finally you could slip your hand down into his pants, and you hissed without thinking.

He was painfully hard, throbbing head pressed into his skin. Your own cock twitched under your robe at the feeling.

Did you do this? Had you gotten the King like this with just a question and a kiss? Tip nearly purple with pressure, you rested your forehead on his collarbone and watched his stomach jump as you wrapped your fingers around it.

Alastor fought back a laugh, tongue nearly cut clean off with the attempt. This was better than he had expected. And he had just the idea to push it over the top.

When your head dipped to swipe your tongue over Lucifer’s cock, you both startled at the sudden sound of music. First you looked to the radio, then to Alastor.

One hand was loosening his bow tie, the other unbuckling his pants. 

“Don’t stop on my accord,” he bit his bottom lip, watching your attention return to Lucifer’s lap. 

Lucifer raised a finger in protest, “I wasn’t aware this was a group activity.”

“The more the merrier.” Alastor whipped his belt off and tossed it to the floor, other hand pulling his member free.

“Three’s a crowd.” 

“Two heads are better than one.” When Alastor lifted your robe away and sunk himself into you, hole soft and ready for him already, you moaned into the blonde hair at the base of Lucifer’s cock.

Your breath over his shaft and now down his balls made his hips buck against you. Your hands gripped at Lucifer’s thighs, trying to get steady enough to return your mouth to his waiting heat. You could smell his arousal, your head dizzy with so many of your senses being assaulted by both men. 

“You okay, kitten?” A concerned hand came to your cheek. 

Your watery, lust clouded eyes met his, “It feels so good, Luci.” His dick jerked. When you finally managed to get him in your mouth his head fell back, legs under him twitching with the need to move along to the bobbing of your head. Lucifer was wider than Alastor, the corners of your mouth burning as you tried to take in as much of him as possible. 

Alastor’s hand raked long nails down your back, a whine ran from your throat and down Lucifer’s shaft.  He moaned in turn, trying to not connect the dots between himself and Alastor.

“I think you may need a little demonstration, from someone more–, “ Alastor leaned down, his face now inches from Lucifer’s. His hand wrapped around your neck, “experienced.” He pulled you up by your throat.

Lucifer watched, your knees no longer touching the bed as Alastor fucked up into you. One hand gripping your throat, one arm holding your body against his. Your face began to redden, and your thighs noticeably clenching as best they could, legs open and feet on either side of Alastor’s body. Your cock hard and bouncing with every thrust. Lucifer winced, you looked pained, he wanted—

“Aa--Alastor,” Your voice was like honey, thick and sweet around Alastor’s name. Lucifer’s face fell flat, how could he have that? What did he need to do to have you say his name in such a debauched way? Why did that gangly sack of bones get all of the fun?

“See? He can handle more than you’d expect.” Alastor grinned, planting a kiss on your neck. You could see Lucifer watching through your wet eyelashes, his cock twitching repeatedly as his hand finally came down to touch himself. 

With the hand not holding onto Alastor’s wrist at your throat, you reached out for Lucifer. “Luci.” 

Alastor let you fall forward. Keeping your hips in the air and knees dangling just above the comforter, he continued his rough pace into your tight heat. Pulling your body on and off of his length with harsh drags he watched you lick from the base to the top of Lucifer’s member. Each thrust from him knocking your chin against it. 

When you popped the head back into your mouth and moaned around it from Alastor’s continued fucking, Lucifer gripped your hair with both hands. Alastor’s own erection jumped in you, the king of hell himself buckling from his dearest’s mouth. He could break him entirely by just pulling you off of Lucifer’s cock and refusing to return you. He was positive Lucifer would cry into his ruined orgasm if he did such a thing.

Tempting.

But, he promised to play along, for you. And he would, at his own terms. 

He pushed aside the thought entirely, instead returning to the task in front of him. Your tongue was pinned down when Lucifer was in your mouth, cock too fat to allow any room for movement. You abandoned trying to suck him off, and changed tactics to lick and kiss the sensitive flesh in your hands. 

Lucifer’s mind was—- he wasn't sure where exactly. His consciousness splintered around you. The feeling of you; your tongue was swirling around him, the first contact he’s had other than himself in literal years. The sound of you; your soft moans and huffs were both audible and physical, the hot breath ghosting over him. The sight of you; head in his lap as he leaned back, your ass in the air and making a satisfying slapping noise every time– 

Alastor. His eyes met Lucifer’s and a wicked grin took hold of his features. Lucifer could practically hear Alastor whisper across your body, ‘Watch this.’ Maybe Alastor had thought it, but he kept it to himself. 

Your hands began pumping Lucifer’s length while your body was slightly dragged away as Alastor backed up and let your knees find some solid ground again. 

Lucifer sat on his legs still, eyes flitting from between your face to the place you and Alastor connected. He could see Alastor disappearing inside you, and every intrusion had you gasping and mewling into the blankets. Your hand was still gently stroking him with outstretched arms, eyes clenched close.

Alastor smirked up at Lucifer, coming down over your back to reach around your body and find your dick, now pulsing under his hand. Immediately, you reacted. Legs squeezing together, hands stilling around your king’s cock. With a bite and lick to your shoulder blade, the radio demon set a bruising pace against you. That warmth in your core was spreading down as you felt him press against your g-spot with every kiss of his hips. 

You choked out his name, a chant Lucifer had never wanted to hear before now. How could you make Alastor’s name sound so delicious? He wrapped his fingers around yours on his dick and began moving with you. Your eyes rolled up to him, a weak smile forming before your orgasm made your face tighten. Alastor knew your body so well, bringing you to orgasm was like playing a well practiced song on the piano. Both required strong and fast fingers and a sense of rhythm. His hands working your shaft, fingers ghosting over your balls and head with every stroke up and down. 

With a few more deeper, shorter moves Alastor stilled, too. Your knees slid down as your hips sank into the bed, your own release sticky and already cooling under you.

Lucifer let your hand go limp, swallowing hard. He wasn’t ignorant to the way Alastor smiled at him as he reclined into the headboard, tucking himself back into his pants. 

“I have complete faith in you, for once.” Alastor teased Lucifer, hand motioning to your still limp body. His smile seemed to dare Lucifer, challenge him, to keep going even with Alastor’s release sitting pretty in you. 

Luci took a deep breath, steadying himself mentally, before pushing the hair from your forehead, “Hey there, kitten. What do ya need?”

With an uncharacteristic hunger in your eyes, you forced your line of sight up to him, “You, Luci.” Visibly shuddering, you sat up and brought your legs towards him, your knees touching each other in an odd display of shyness. Your hand felt at your entrance, Alastor’s seed just beginning to find its way from your relaxed and stretched hole. 

“Is it okay?” You asked, spreading the thick fluid between your fingers in front of Luci. 

Something between a grimace and a pout came over him, it wasn’t his ideal situation but the idea of — just how much he’d slip and slide in and out of your with the added lubrication made him feel feral. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Alastor hoped to ruin you and sour his experience. He decided to not allow it. 

With a kiss to his nose, you wrapped your arms around his neck and lied back. You weren’t sure you were breathing anymore when you felt his scorching head slot up with your entrance. He rubbed the leaking fluid over himself and you with swipes up and down your ass, teasing your entrance with every pass. The difference between his heat and the cooled cum made him shiver in turn. 

As he began to press into you, your body instinctively scooted away. It took both of your hands hooked under his arms to stay still enough for him to make any real headway. 

Luci stopped, your face clearly pained. Your head shook in response, “Please, you just have to keep going. I’ll adjust.” While both of his heads swelled with pride – Alastor’s cock clearly smaller – Luci didn’t notice the wild eyes of the radio demon. 

Alastor brought a hand to his face, red eyes peering between his spread fingers, smile threatening to break at the seams as he watched Lucifer Morningstar fucking his cum into his darling dear. 

 What a pitiful sight. How humiliating.

What would Charlie think of her big bad daddy? What would the other sins say? If they could see their king now, slick and shiny?

Your nails cut into his skin, and you were worried you were tearing slightly. Instead of attempting to thrust his way in, he chose to just continually press. The way your body seemed to be splitting made you second guess your decisions. But when his head finally popped in, your bullied boy cunt got some reprieve. He stopped, taking deep breaths. 

Tears were collecting on your waterline, Luci noticed and leaned on an elbow to wipe them away. His blonde hair was falling forward now, tickling at your forehead. 

You nodded, answering a question he didn’t ask, and he continued to force your walls open to accommodate him. The only sound in the room was the soft instrumental jazz number playing from atop the dresser. Your voice was stuck in your throat, Luci was focusing too hard to form words. Alastor could speak, but the music was just too enjoyable to interrupt. 

Finally, after what could have been two minutes or twenty, you felt Luci bottom out. You had to just lie there for a second, never having felt something so solid in your otherwise soft body. No slight to Alastor, who was perfectly skilled in his abilities. Luci was just—- more than you had expected. 

As he pulled out, you thanked the heavens and hell and the rings within that Alastor had left you so wet and already softened. The first few thrusts were genuinely uncomfortable, the pleasure you felt almost entirely mental, drawn from the reality of who was pulling your insides back and forth. You were so tight around him that he too was almost pained; so much pressure but no way to move enough to get any release.

Slowly, the ring of your entrance relented and Luci could finally move at a normal pace. He would take himself out to his head before slipping back in. Every thrust made your body spread around him, a semi-truck through a field of sunflowers. Your body didn’t stand a chance, and you were grateful he chose gentleness for his entrance.

He leaned back on both hands, using the position to fucked up into you at an angle. He knew very well where to hit to begin gathering your pleasure.

Alastor dropped his head, yours between his legs. His hair made a short curtain, hiding the look he was giving you from Luci. He adores the faces you make when you are happy. Excited. Pleasured. You tried to offer him a smile, but you couldn’t manage it for long. Your eyes would roll back, lips tighten as you focused on the feeling Luci was providing. Focused on the sensations, of being so full, so sticky wet, so wanted. But Alastor was still watching, the sight of Luci blocked from his view as he enjoyed every little twitch of your mouth, every whimper. 

It wasn’t jealousy, it was something more personal that stung Luci. While he couldn’t actually discern the looks you two gave each other, Luci felt very much the odd man out. But, he considered his position. Literally. He was leaning as far from your body as he could. He remembered the way you said Alastor’s name. Alastor had showed him exactly what to do, albeit in his usual obnoxious, showy fashion.

Sitting up, Luci adjusted your legs and slotted himself between them. Alastor leaned back, relinquishing your focus. Both of you looked at Luci though as one of his hands came to enclose your throat.

Alastor was almost impressed. Almost. You brought both hands to wrap around his wrist, glancing to Alastor behind you.

The words came out of Alastor as half warning, half instruction, “If he needs you to stop, he’ll tap two fingers twice on you, wherever he can reach.” Lucifer nodded, eyes not meeting Alastor’s. He kept them on your face, watching for any sign of distress as he tightened his grip. The way your muscles clenched around him earned you a hiss.

He began to move again, the new position causing his stomach to rut against your returning erection as he buried himself in you. More clenching; He tightened his grip more. 

“Are you sure he isn’t hurting?” Luci asked, your eyes closed and nails digging into his wrists.

“Nonsense. Can’t you feel him? Or does he just grip me like that?” The cocky expression made Luci unconsciously clench his fist on your neck. A gentle tap tap snapped him back to you. He loosened up again, his eyes large and apologetic.

You unconsciously tightened your own grip on his dick, grinding up into him for more friction. Your body had finally relaxed, pleasure freely flowing from where you and Luci tangled together. You closed your eyes, the pressure constant on the veins to your head. Blood flow restricted just enough to lower your oxygen levels and raise the nitrogen oxide in your body. It resulted in a dizzying feeling, maybe there was a primal panic that caused your body to feel heightened pleasure. You didn’t feel scared, or in danger. You felt —— ah there it was. You felt weak. You felt docile. You felt like you existed purely to give pleasure and the idea turned you on. In every day life you’d never allow someone to use you, to push you around. You were anything but subservient. That’s why it was so enthralling now. It was so strange a sensation. And to give yourself so fully to the king of hell, the originator of all sin? You groaned, head rolling back. 

Luci watched your head loll, drank in your groans and gasps and felt himself get dizzy too. More. Say his name like you did Alastor’s. Praise how well he fucked you. Reward him. Love him.

He pulled out suddenly, his head leaving you for the first time since it managed to fit in initially. Luci put both hands on your hips and directed you to roll onto your stomach. He pulled your ass up, knees bent. You crawled up enough to rest your forehead on the crook of Alastor’s leg, one lazily outstretched and the other bent under him slightly. Luci wasted no time pushing back in. He leaned over you and pressed his hand into your back, forcing your chest to be slightly crushed into the bed. He pulled out and slammed back into you, tearing a yelp from you as he hit deeper than he had before, stomach lurching into your chest with the impact.

He stopped, unsure, until he felt your hand reach under yourself and rest at the junction of his knee and calf. His other hand came to your right hip, and he used it to keep you from sliding up the bed. Letting his eyes close again, he focused on the feeling of you around him. His crotch and thighs were covered in oil and cum, his balls tight against him. Every drag out of you made his body jerk back into you with need. It felt so good, too good. He needed more. He pressed hard into you, oversized tip of his cock opening parts of you never before reached. He made shorter thrusts now, ensuring he bottomed out every time. It was too deep, too much of a stretch. Your moans slowly devolved into screams, the pleasure mixed with a soft burning. 

You could feel him spreading open your body, soft walls helpless to resist his raging member. The feeling of your silky boy cunt sliding along his cock, your tight hole gripping him, was driving him mad.

You were screaming. Actual, pleasured screams, threatening to alert the entire hotel to your activities. Wails that started shrill and dipped into a gutteral cry filled the room with every thrust of Lucifer’s frenzied hips.

A tiny part of your brain felt embarrassed, a dying animal shrieking into Alastor’s thigh.

An ever shrinking part of Lucifer existed too, the piece of him too preoccupied with your two fingers on his leg to enjoy you. It got smaller and smaller, no longer a blockade to his pleasure, but a safety net allowing him to walk the tightrope of sadism.

The radio’s volume dial rolled, smooth jazz now blaring and drowning out your painfully pleasured cries. Alastor was fine with allowing someone to take care of your needs at his permission but strangers had no business enjoying your sounds.

As Luci became lost in the sensation of your body trying to suck him in whole, his hand on your back began to press down. Your breaths got shorter, it got harder to expand your lungs fully.

Face turned and drooling onto the fabric of Alastor’s pants, you started gasping out his name, “Luci! Nngh Luciiii, Lucifer.”

Your lips dropped his name and it fell like lead into his thoughts. He fought the urge to close his eyes again as he felt his orgasm building. He watched your flushed skin jump beneath every punishing thrust, his name a spell you could now barely whisper, not enough breathe to scream. Your upper body was entirely buried into the mattress. It felt like your back might snap with Luci’s loss of control. You kept your hand on his leg, ever ready to tap out.

The yellow of his eyes turned red, just like the skin of your ass where his hip bones chaffed. “You take me so well, kitten.” He ground out, “Daddy’s gonna cum.”

Alastor’s eyes glowed a blood red from the end of the bed, a wickedly devious grin across his face at the opportunity before him, he looked up at Luci and said with a commanding tone, “Cum.”

Luci was already over that peak when his eyes flew up to catch Alastor’s, it was too late to stop his orgasm. He was helpless to disobey, despite his now desperate desire to never cum again. With a moan, and a hiss, he pressed your body fully into the mattress. Your body now flush, he waited until his cock stopped jerking his long overdue seed into your bruised ass.

Luci lied on top of you even after you were full to the brim with his cum. It was already forcing its way out around his softening cock when he managed to roll off of you and onto his back.

Staring at the canopy of the bed, he felt two emotions rise to the surface. First, concern. He turned to you, and you gave a weak thumbs up.

Second, rage.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you.” He looked to Alastor, who was grinning as he pet your head, whispering something to you. 

“Little late for dirty talk, your highness.”

Lucifer growled, but Alastor’s palm pressed against his forehead and pushed him back down to the bed.

“I sleep on the left. I’d prefer you on the right.” he gently moved your head from his lap, “Beside me, my dear. A darling barrier.” Alastor didn’t look at Lucifer, just slid off the bed and walked into the en-suite bathroom. “No outside clothes under the comforter.” Alastor called from the bathroom before the sound of rushing water poured in.

You rolled onto your back, still catching your breath. Body sprawled out on the massive bed like a starfish.

Lucifer turned onto his side, hand caressing your arm. “Are you okay, kitten? I didn’t mean to lose myself like that.” He felt shame, like he had done something terrible. “And— I didn’t help you finish. That’s pretty shitty.”

But it fell away when you smiled back at him, “I feel great. Sore, but great all the same.” You let your fingers clumsily lace with his. “I really like you, Luci. And I don’t need to cum to enjoy myself. You can always try again, ya know?”

Lucifer felt his face grow warm, but couldn’t press you to clarify what exactly that meant before Alastor scooped you up and carried you to the bath.

There was a moment where he was alone, noticing the radio was back to a tolerable volume, the water splashing softly out of view. He felt out of place, like he had accidentally walked into a stranger’s home. He wasn’t sure what to do next, where to go from there when Alastor’s head popped back into the room, annoyed, “Are you coming or not? Those are clean sheets.”

༻Masterlist༺

[whatchuwaitinfor]

Alastor Gains Feelings

RadioApple FanFiction

Summary: When Lucifer showed up, Alastor decided to prey on Lucifer’s loneliness and be his non-sexual companion to get Lucifer to break him free of his deal then maybe become king of Hell with Lucifer and pull his strings. But as he spends time with Lucifer, he starts to regain feelings he had with another that he knew in his human life. Not Mimzy, a girl named Lucy who he saw as an angel, especially because he only saw her once and she disappeared without a trace.

After meeting Lucifer, Alastor decided to prey on Lucifer’s loneliness of his wife leaving him and giving him a companion in himself to get Lucifer to rid him of his deal. Since Lucifer is more strong and experienced, it’s more possible than Charlie to free Alastor and faster at that. Then maybe he could get Lucifer to marry him, so he could be the one pulling the strings, as he wishes. Kill two birds with one stone, as one would say.

It should be fine, he did it with Vox and nothing truly came of it other than what he wanted. Alastor is not expecting to catch feelings for Lucifer but as he spends more time around him, being friendly and showing his respect for Lucifer and Lucifer shows his respect for Alastor, he starts to feel strange. He did believe that he could find someone he’d date and have a family with, but he never expected it to be a man or even the devil himself, Lucifer!

Now Alastor is stressing himself out, he asks himself, “This man is who my one is?! I… wait.” He remembers back to a time in his life that he’s not thought about since death. Since his anger and hatred was stronger than his longing for who he considered his girl… Lucy. Though he only saw and talked to her once, his brain and heart decided she was his one.

She was a gorgeous young woman he met in the 1920s when he first started his radio show in New Orleans, Louisiana.

(Alastor’s Thoughts and his Memory; First Person)

This encounter with her was in the night, I was in my early twenties and a mixed (black, native and white) creole man. Struggling on my radio show because I “sounded too black” to be listened to by a majority of people. They used another word, but I prefer to not write it. If you know, you know.

I was on my way home from a Speakeasy with Mimzy and an albino snake slithered across my path, I jumped back as a reflex. But I seemed to have bumped into a fair skinned, beautiful young lady with lips of red like the rose, in a gorgeous white 1920s-like dress and long white silky gloves showing an outline of how small and delicate her hands were. She had long blonde, wavy hair and big but soft blue eyes. This girl was obviously rich based on her outfit.

“Oh!” The girl said, surprised, “You don’t see that everyday.” She said, seemingly she got frightened by the snake too. I backed away from her and apologized for bumping into her. “No worries, I would’ve done the same if you were behind me!” The girl said with a smile. I stared for a moment and my heart stopped, my glasses were slipping off and I pushed them up and cleared my throat. “I um… hello ma’am.” I cringed at my own response, the girl giggled a bit and I cleared my throat once more and said, “Um ma’am, where is your… escort?”

In the 1920s, it was seen as strange for a woman to be walking at night alone without a man escorting her home. Dangerous for a woman to do that too. “Do I need one?” The girl asked confusedly. I was shocked, it’s usually common knowledge for a lady to know that.

I laughed a bit and said, “Yes you do, miss. Have you not been told that by your father?” “Oh yeah, silly me… I forgot.” She giggled and I shook my head, ‘Oh she’s naive.’ I thought to myself. The girl looked at me and held her hands behind her back, “Maybe… you could be my escort?” She asked. I choked on my own spit for a moment, shocked that she even suggested that, “Madame, that would not be good for neither you nor me.” I said and the girl pouted, “Aw… why not?” “Ma’am, look at you then look at me.” I pointed out the obvious. “Yeah. What’s the problem?” This girl is so naive… I laughed a bit in disbelief, “Dear, your skin color and mine; I have dark skin and you have light skin. Your father would kill me if I was the one escorting you home.” “Mmm… no he wouldn’t.” “Would he not? Huh. Why?” I asked, it is not normal for a white girl’s father to allow a mixed man like me to even be around his daughter, she swayed a bit, “My father is a priest of a mixed church; he believes if you are to believe in God, he’ll allow you in as a brother, a friend. No matter what race you are. I also have many siblings of many different races.” She explained. I smiled a bit to myself, “Um… that’s interesting, wouldn’t he have rioters on his doorstep for allowing said things?” I asked and the girl shook her head, “No. I have not heard or dealt with anything of the sort.” I am honestly really happy, “Well then maybe I’ll attend said church.” I said, nodding. This is when I accepted being her escort, knowing I am safe with her father if he saw me.

That night I felt my heart skip a beat, almost many beats. She made me feel something I never felt before. As we walked, we talked the whole way, I got to know about her siblings, her mother Azrael and more about her father; as well as the fact that she was only going to be in New Orleans for a short while before her family had to move to another state for their word of the church to spread. My heart felt like it was ripped from my chest and stabbed. I knew she was going to leave soon but I’d hoped that if I walked her home, I’d show up at it again to spend more time with her before she left, take her to a speakeasy… but when I dropped her off, she kissed me on the cheek, thanked me and gave me advice on how to get more listens on my radio show so I can look after my mother easier. Before she went inside her home, I asked her what her name was and she said it was Lucy… I introduced myself as Alastor and we went our separate ways for the night. But the next morning, I arrived at her home and it was gone, the actual building was gone… it was like she never existed. I thought I was never going to see her again. I thought she was an angel because I took her advice and my radio show spiked with listeners.

Her advice was to maybe fake a white man’s voice and keep away from my deep Louisianan creole mixed man accent. She said it didn’t matter to her and her family but based on what I told her, it mattered to the grander audience; because it did. So I faked a white man’s accent that I heard constantly on the radio and it worked. Now I believe I’ve forgotten how to speak in my actual voice… my voice defaulted to the voice I put on for everyone when I died.

When I arrived in Hell and met Lucifer, all I could think about is he just looked like Lucy but with short hair and pants instead of a dress. God dammit, curse you Lucifer… but also, please don’t stop cuddling me, petting my ears and poking at my tail. You are a screeching headache of a person but also, you’re making me feel those emotions again.

(Present Day Hell; Back To Third Person)

One night in present day Hell, Lucifer and Alastor share a bedroom and a bed. They’re cuddling and talking but after some time, Lucifer sighs and speaks up about something that’s been bugging him. He spoke with a heartbroken and soft tone, “Al, I hope you know that I’m not an idiot, I know you’re using me to get something… suddenly looking after Charlie like a daughter once I showed up, then this… you are not hiding anything from me… and if you are, it’s shittily hidden.” he traced Alastor’s chest as he watched his finger.

“…What do you mean..?” Alastor asked, not knowing what to say about being caught.

“Tonight, I don’t know what is going through your head, but I know you have a deal and I know who it’s with and I’m sorry she has done that to you… I want you to know that using me, I can take but if I catch you using Charlie too, I’d kill you in a heartbeat and you know I could. Even though I have fallen in love with you, as stupid and gross as it sounds.” He looked up at Alastor with his eyes, who’s panicking on the inside but the radio static seems to speak for him.

“Al, I’m used to people using me, Lilith did the same exact thing and I’ll just take it to get love and feel love in return even if it’s fake. Then I’ll help you get out of your deal and maybe the other thing you want is royalty, I’ll let you have the crown with me if Lilith turns out to not care about me or Charlie.” Alastor continued to panic, “Lucifer, I don’t know what to say, I don’t have the words.” He said, not wanting to talk about it right now. Lucifer sighed and said, “Very well, do you still want cuddles?” Alastor nodded and Lucifer obliged. Then Lucifer fell asleep but Alastor stayed awake.

Alastor went to Cannibal Town the next morning to find Rosie and once he found her, he asked her to sit down with him. His ears were back and his eyes showed pain, confusion but bliss at the same time. But his lips never stopped bearing a smile.

Once Rosie sat down with some tea for the both of them, she saw Alastor’s look and she said softly and worriedly, “Alastor, what’s wrong dear?” “Rosie, I’m feeling… emotions.” Alastor answered and Rosie was slightly shocked, she stopped sipping her tea and looked confusedly at Alastor. “Emotions, Alastor? Can you explain to me how you feel when having them?” “Pain. In my heart, my brain and my stomach.” He explained.

Rosie hummed and said, “Is it truly painful, dear?” “I don’t know… I think it is but as I think about what’s making me feel this way, I feel a little light as well, like I’m floating on air…” Rosie smiled partially, “Alastor, you have a strange way of explaining you being in love, honey.” “I… what?” He looked at Rosie and arched his brow. “Those feelings are common with being in love, hasn’t your mother explained them to you before?” She laughed a bit with her hand on her mouth, “I heard about this Lucy girl once or twice after you’ve been drinking for a bit, have you seen her again since then?” She asked.

Alastor shook his head, “Not in the form I’ve known her in before.” “Alastor, this is Hell, we don’t look too much or really at all like we did when alive. With how you explained her to me before, she’d be more of an angel than a demon though, have you found someone else?” Rosie asked, drinking some more tea and Alastor blushed a bit, “Not… necessarily Rosie.” He then muttered, “That woman was Lucifer himself… like, literally.” Rosie stopped drinking her tea again in shock but she managed to keep it in.

Once she swallowed the tea, she placed it down and covered her mouth with her fingertips again. “Oh… Alastor, you met her in a tempt from the sin of Pride… then you only saw her again once you came down here and met Lucifer… the king himself. Well darling, I’m sure it’ll work out if you just try with him, from what I know, his wife divorced him because she left without a word really. If you love him, I’m sure you could—” Alastor cut her off, “Rosie, I’ve been using him to get me free… last night, he spoke to me about it. Telling me that he knows he’s being used but he’s just glad that he’s getting love even if it’s fake…”

“Oh so you’re doing what you did with Vox, but this time you’re actually catching feelings for him because he is who you considered your one love when he showed up as Lucy…” Rosie sighed, “Alastor, I know you want to get out of that deal you’re in sweetheart, but you should know that deal would be broken by now if you stop using people. Be the kitten that you are Al, you’re such a sweetheart when you let it show. If you love this man, why don’t you try and be truthful and say you’ve actually gained affection towards him? Be vulnerable in a secret place where it’s just you and him, like you are with me, you can even make him promise to not tell anyone, it would get you closer to breaking that deal and being king of all hell with him too, honey. It will also get you a true lover, give you that chance to be with your girl, even though she’s a man.” Rosie shrugged a little and laughed a bit, “Do you got me, Alastor?” She placed her hands on his cheeks and squeezed them a bit, causing a deer squeak from Alastor as he happily took it. “Yeah, I got you, Rosie…” he then laid his head in her chest as she hugged him. “…thank you…” he said softly and Rosie awed, petting his hair, “You are just the cutest little button like I could just eat you up, but I won’t.” She said and she kissed Alastor’s head then she made him stand up and let go of her, “Go on then, boy. Bye-bye! Come visit again and tell me how it went.” Alastor nodded then left.

When he arrived back at the hotel, he took a deep breath, then went inside.

That night, Alastor lay next to Lucifer, getting himself prepared to be vulnerable, he took a breath and looked down at Lucifer, “Your Majesty, might I have a word?” He asked, Lucifer was holding onto him and he looked up at Alastor, “What is it, Al?” “I now have words to say for our conversation last night.” “Oh boy, here we go.” Lucifer said and he leaned his head in his hand. “What is it?” He asked.

Alastor took a breath, “I will tell you these words if you make a simple deal with me… not anything nefarious, I just want to know you won’t tell anyone what I explain here tonight. If something comes of it after I’m done explaining, we can say that we’re co-parenting Charlie but that’s it. I don’t want to have everyone know the vulnerability I'm showing you tonight, it ruins my character.” Lucifer raised a brow and grinned a bit, “I’ll tell you that I promise to not tell anyone, okay? Sounds good to you?” “Yes.” Lucifer nodded and said, “Then shoot.”

Alastor sighed in relief then took a breath, “Lucifer, this did all start with me using you to rid me of my deal… I was taking advantage of your loneliness like I did before with Vox. But unlike Vox, it became more than that… you’ve made me feel emotions. You’ve reminded me of a girl named Lucy I knew for a short time when I was alive, she was who I considered to be my one, she was an angel in disguise.” He breathed slowly, relieved and kind of proud that he was vulnerably telling the truth, then he looked down at Lucifer.

Lucifer seemed to have returned to his awkwardness and cleared his throat, “Oh! Yeah, that… wait, you thought I was an angel—I mean… you thought she was an angel?” Alastor laughed a bit, “Yes, I thought you were an angel.” He smiled down at Lucifer genuinely. “But I think she remained my one because I hate to admit it, but you caused my feelings to rush back about her, now knowing I could be with her, even if she’s an insufferable little man.” “Insufferable?! Fuck. You.” Lucifer said, poking Alastor’s chest with a pout. “Yes, insufferable.” Alastor responded with a smirk. Then the two stared at each other and soon they just laughed.

Alastor sighed and looked at Lucifer again with a genuine smile still, “So, I’m not necessarily using you anymore… I get it if you still think I’m using you, but that’s not my intention anymore… these are my honest to truth words.” Lucifer looked up at Alastor then without thinking, he kissed his cheek. Alastor let out a little deer squeak and blushed, looking down confusedly at Lucifer, who covered his mouth, “I… I’m sorry! I don’t know why I did that, I promise I’ll never do it again!” Alastor turned on his side and held Lucifer in his arms, “You better take that promise back.” He said and Lucifer was shocked that Alastor was holding him and said what he said. He blushed, looked up, laughed a bit and kissed Alastor’s lips this time. Alastor kissed back.

[androgynousblackbox]

10 Things I Hate About You. [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Number 1: You never think before you act

Alastor never thought much about his own death. Unlike his devoted mother, he didn't had any faith to give him hope that there was a fluffy bright resting place for his soul, even if he discounted everything he did after he buried her. In the best case escenario, he just ceased to be, just like he imagined it happened to all the people whose lives ended under his knife. The lights behind their eyes just turned off and they stopped caring about what happened to their bodies, about who consumed it, because there was no one else to care. If the pastor his mother dragged him to hear when he was younger was right in any way about the afterlife, then so be it. At least some form of justice existed in the universe.

Turns out, though, that dying was the continuation of a new existence. Instead of fire and brimstone polluting his senses at all times, there was a constant warm weather and contaminated air that didn't made it impossible to breath. There were still rude people and people who clearly deserved a worst fate. Streets to walk by in his way to the next victim. Their screams were just the same as they were when they were alive. There was houses with neighbors that didn't want any trouble, or wanted them and therefore nobody helped them out when someone stabbed them repeatedly on the sidewalk. The golden rule of don't bother me and I won't bother you was the usual ettiquete.

For a while there, he thought this wasn't hell exactly. This was just the garbage disposal for all souls everywhere, that people assumed it was hell because everyone was awful, and maybe some decent people could still be there. But after three weeks of searching and asking subtly for the name of one woman, he had to assume that she wasn't there.

His father, in the other hand, was absurdly easy to find. He was just as big as he was in life and his laugh was just as strong like a punch to the chest of whoever heard it. As different as he looked on his new sinner form, Alastor still recognized him easy enough. A heart attack was what did him in, according to the doctor, but Alastor was never truly sure. There would have to be a heart there to be attacked in the first place.

Unofortunately, he doesn't quite remember what he did. He remembers a surge of rage like no other before. Rage at how that man had the audacity of still laughing after what he made them go through. Rage at the way he looked at the world like he deserved to have an space on it, like he just assumed he had it. Rage at the way he asked who he was when Alastor stood in front of him, before slamming the nearest bottle against his face. Something inside of him unlocked like a muscle he didn't know he had before and the static was stronger than ever before.

But then screams started to join his own personal music, screams that he never heard in life because that man only knew to bark orders and insults and he was too small to inspire him such fear. Now things were different. Now he could finally put him in other's shoes, smaller, tinier, defenseless, in front of his own overwhelming rage. The taste of his first consumeed soul was bitter and heavy in his tongue, but it went down so easily. The more he trashed and fight it, the more giddy he became.

When he came back to himself, the bar he went to was empty. He could lift his hand and synthonized the right frequency to hear all the patrons and staff. Hear him finally suffering like he deserved. Like so many other people deserved.

To say that he went off in a little bit of a binge was an understatement. A big part of it was simply the novelty of managing to do what he pleased, whenever it pleased him, and nobody minding it too much. Police officers reached that place everyday, but they had no such jobs anymore once they were there. Violence was the norm and it was all about who had the power to submit others. To kill or to be killed was also the norm of Earth. In Hell, however, they just stopped pretending like it wasn't.

He made friends. He found himself old friends. He learned about what deals were, what they actually meant for him, and the silver tongue he inherited from his mother was especially useful for that. If he couldn't make a deal, he consumed them all the same. Some souls tasted better than others, but they were all the same, weighted down by feelings of guilt or shame that he had no use for. Their screams was all that mattered to him. They were never going to be as satisfactory as the scream of that first soul, of that man, but they were pleasant to his ears all the same.

By the time he learned that apparently Overlords were a thing, he was already aiming for more rare souls, more exquisite ones. Those that should be able to defend themselves better, to give the all buffet a little bit of excitement and shake things up. It was only fun if he got to win, though, and he always made sure to win by choosing wisely his next step. Sometimes it took him some more time, use of some more conning, some manipulation here and there. But in the end he always got what he wanted.

As fun as it was, there was one black spot on his enjoyment that he did not appreciate having there. He could consume an entire block of souls if he so chose so, shake all the hands of those souls and keep growing his army of shadow minions through his power, and still would never be enough to move above the state of a simple Overlord. Above him still were, and would always be, beings that were far older and far more powerful that he could even imagine.

It didn't mattered if those beings generally kept to themselves to their own rings and their own issues. It didn't mattered that their ruling, if it could even be called that, was to let all the souls basically do as they pleased without any restriction. It didn't mattered that they didn't even had a face he could properly despise. Their mere existence was already annoying. Who is to say that someday they didn't get bored too and decided to start taking it out on the lower classes? They had all that power. It was inconceivable they just didn't use it. What was the point of having it then?

So he took all he could and he ate and worked as hard as possible. He already knew what was to be defenseless and vulnerable in front of a tyrant. He was never going to let himself be on that position again as far he had any say on it. No matter over how many souls he had to walk on to reach a point in which he didn't had to keeo fighting anymore.

That soul he encountered still smelled to fresh earth and cleaner air. A meek smaller sinner that understood rather quickly where he was and therefore was desperate for any friendly voice. The easiest kind of prey anyone could wish for. Candy in the hands of a toddler could have represented of a struggle. If Alastor haven't been the one to take that opportunity, no doubt about it, someone else was going to do it. Souls such as that one were not created to last long in Hell. If anything, Alastor did him a favor by devouring him as he did. At least he bothered to keep the mask of a friend until the very end, something that many others would not do. If you are going to join the scream of the damned, at the very least you would want a pleasant entry.

That was all he was thinking about when he finished with his meal. By the moment he turned on the street, ready to go home and rest for the night before having another day terroryzing sinners, he soon realized that something wasn't right at all. For one, he wasn't on any place at all that he could recognize. The transportation had been as seemless and effective that it only took one blink of an eye.

He was in a living room, that was obvious enough. A large couch, a small table, decorations like ducks and carousel horses here and there. But there was a lot of empty space and only he at the middle of it, standing on top of a red and golden carpet, without any immediate idea as to why.

His ears perked up at the sound of some shuffling behind him. As he turned around, he saw a tiny demon with a unnaturally pale face walking in. If the fluffy pink robe and duckie slippers wasn't a clear indication this man was supposed to be unassuming, then the holding an entire ice cream bucket against his chest and stop with a spoon in his mouth screamed that in bold letters. Clearly, if that man was expecting any visitors, he had a different definition than Alastor in how to receive them.

The moment they both landed their eyes on each other, Alastor saw a golden light on the black hand of the demon holding his spoon and he stared at it as it completely its passing around one finger. It took a second for Alastor to realize the same thing was happening to him and that explained the slight tingling there. A mere second later, all there was left was a golden ring that looked as solid as any other piece of metal could be. But somehow, it didn't feel like any normal ring.

"Oh" came out from the demon in front, bringing his attention back. The butcket of ice cream slipped away from his grasp and rolled away, but the demon didn't paid any mind to it. All his focus was concentrated in looking at that ring, a expression of horror like it was his actual intestines instead. "Uh…" the demon finally lifted his eyes back at him. First the ring on Alastor, then his face. Then repeat until he managed to close his mouth, swallow and speak again. "Hey. Um. By any chance, how many… souls have you taken? Buddy?"

Alastor squinted his eyes, all his senses in high alert. Something was clearly wrong there and it had to be with those matching rings. He tried to pull his own out without making it too evident, with his thumb under his hand, but there didn't seem to be any point of separation between the metal and his own skin to grab onto. The other demon was not even attempting to do the same, as if he knew already it was useless.

"A few" responded Alastor at last, staring him. He never kept score for such a thing, that would have felt vulgar and beneat him. His own power should a testament enough to the amount being more than considerable. And why that would matter at all in that situation? "I couldn't say. Why?"

"Ah, I see. W-well, just let me have a check then, just to make sure."

The tiny demon swallowed up and lifted his hand in front of him. A soft glow of red magic surrounded it. Alastor tensed up and got himself in position for an attack, but what happened instead was like nothing he had ever experienced before, either alive or after death.

It was like being suddenly naked in a way that had nothing to do with his clothing and therefore even more ennerving than that, because there was no way for him to cover anything. The spell, or whatever it was, lasted maybe a couple of second at max, but Alastor did not need anything else.

Treating it just the same as any other attack, he launched himself forward and grabbed the slim, delicate looking neck up until he could slam the rest of that tiny body against the wall. The red tiny hooves remained hanging above the floor. Without trying to kick him away. Without fighting him at all, actually. The tiny demon was just cringing into his hand like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

"Alright, okay, you are pissed, fair enough" said the tiny demon, having no difficulty to speak at all despite how hard Alastor was squeeing the skin. Was that another spell? Maybe he wasn't actually talking at all and it was all mental messages? "Listen, I am sorry, but I really need you to let me make a call so I can confirm a thing. Would you mind?"

Alastor cracked his neck to a side.

"So you do know what is happening" said, towering over him, which was easy given their size difference. Even though the tiny demon did not looked intimidated at all by it. "Tell me right now what happened or I will enjoy finding out how long I can spread your entrail all over that fancy carpet."

The tiny demon pulled his lips downard and out with a slight frown between his thick eyebrow. It took a second for Alastor to fully understand that this demon, this demented tiny demon, was pouting like his request was merely an annoyance for him. No fear or concern whatsoever despite the position they were in. There was not even the insane joy he had seen in a few sinners who liked to be treated in such a manner.

"That won't be necessary" said the tiny demon with a small sigh. "I have an idea, but I am not entirely sure. If you just let me do that call, we can sort this out."

Alastor didn't know if he was impressed or just profoundly astonished at the utter suicidal stupidity of this demon. As he stared down at him, he send his shadow to go as far away as possible to test the limits. Soon it came to him with the notion that they were not magically restricted. He could get away from there at any moment if he wanted to.

With that certainty in mind, and his own curiosity pressing, he finally opened up his hand to let the demon go. He was, really, so tiny. His blonde head barely reached the height of Alastor's chest.

"Thank you" said the demon, moving under his arm to a phone stuck to the wall.

At first it seemed he was going to keep an eye on him, but as soon his caller answered on the other side he shrinked between his shoulders and turned away from Alastor's gaze. His back turned to him, giving Alastor plenty opportunity to attack him if so he chose.

He didn't, though, if only because he wanted some actual answers.

The call itself didn't last long and sooner than later it was done. The tiny demon hang with a deep exhale. When he turned to see Alastor, standing close right under the entrance to the living room, he cringed again.

"Um, my friend should be here soon enough" The tiny demon cleared his throat and walked over to the long couch. "How about you… take a seat? We… should know what happened soon. I am sorry for the inconvenience" said, looking at the ground.

Alastor did not bother to reply, taking seat on the individual chair there was nearby. He kept his eyes attached to the demon as they waited. At least his whole squirming and looking like he wanted exorcists to take him already was more entertaining than anything else in the room. Oh, for some other people that could have been the definition of awkward, but Alastor was perfectly comfortable in staring down without barely a blink. If that bothered his host, or whoever that man was, it wasn't his problem to deal with.

For long, slowly passing minutes, neither of them said a single word. Silence stretched out with merely the distant tiktok of a clock somewhere to break it off. Sometimes the sound of the friction between the fingers of the other demon as he twindled with his thumbs. Nothing else.

When a portal suddenly opened up nearby, Alastor conjured up his staff and hold it in front of him. He squeezed it tight as a flaming blue head first came out, followed by a thin neck attached to a thick body that quickly rised up. As soon he saw him, Alastor already knew who that was.

Asmodeous. The king of Lust who had the advertisement for all his products around certain districts that Alastor prefered to avoid unless necessary. One of those beings that were a constant reminder that he was, after all, nothing else but a mortal soul. Someone that could smite him on a whim.

Alastor hold onto his breath. That was not at all the kind of friend he was expecting was going to arrive. Worst case, he expected a bunch of other demons coming over for him. He didn't even considered a royal into the equation. From his impossibly long height, the king looked directly to him and then at the other demon. He clicked his tongue, putting a hand on his waist.

"Luci" said, casually, "is that the guy?"

Alastor stared at the tiny demon as he stand up. In a flash he suddenly understood. The actual devil that his devoted mother was taught to hate. The incarnation of evil that doomed humanity with one apple. The sovereighn of all of hell. No wonder that man was never truly intimidated by him. Alastor's strangling must have felt like rubbing of paper napkins, if anything at all.

Unlike Asmodeus, this king had never made an advertisement with his own face. His name was known by everyone, but not what he looked like, the sound of his voice or anything at all. Somehow, looking over at him again, it made sense. Not the part of that being the ruler of everything on that realm necessarily, but that a creature like that could have been an angel before. He had a face like no other Alastor had seen in Hell. If the explanation was that it came from above before falling, then he could believe that.

"Y-yeah, I think so?" Lucifer cleared his throat again, looking up to see at Asmodeus's face. "B-but, um, do you remember the thing with the thing?"

Asmodeus sighed deeply, passing a hand over his face.

"Luci, I thought you nullified that silly thing years ago. Or if you kept it around, you were upping up the account so we would stop bothering you about it. Not that you just let it fester this long."

"I know, I know" Lucifer groaned, rubbing his temple with both hands. "I just forgot, okay?"

Alastor stand up from his chair. He was officially more confused than he had ever been before. If they wanted to kill him for whatever reason, nobody was doing the first move. If this was something else, then he couldn't imaigne what.

"What is happening?" asked. "Why I was brought here?"

The sudden elevation of his voice made Lucifer to flinch and want to hide away in the fluffy collar of his robe.

"You didn't say anything to him?" said Asmoderus to Lucifer, arching an eyebrow. As a wordless uncomfortable shrug was all the answer he got, he sighed deeply and shook his head. "I guess I can explain it myself then."

Asmodeus walked over back to the couch. As he did, his height became smaller and his steps less heavy over the floor. By the time he sat down, one leg cross over the other, he was only slightly taller than Alastor himself.

"Please, have a seat" said, offering the chair he just lifted himself off. "Would you like perhaps something to drink or eat?"

What was with this treatment now? Alastor looked over at Lucifer, but the king of pride just slipped at the other extreme of the couch and covered his face with his hand, refusing to engage with the conversation.

"I am fine" hissed Alastor, glaring at him and then inspecting the other royal. "I just want to know what did I do to be here."

"Oh, nothing, you did nothing. Well… no, actually, you probably did a lot of bad things to end up here. Horrible things. But this wasn't your entire fault. Wait, I am getting ahead of myself and making it more confusing" Asmodeus shook his head again. "I should start from the start. Do you know who we are?"

Alastor nodded, keeping the eye of a hawk in both of them.

"Good, then you know already that we are old. As if, old-old. Not even your oldest silver fox hottie has nothing on us. Because of this, we had a very long life, you following?" Alastor groaned, his ever present smile twitching at the side. "On that very long life, there was a time in which we tried setting up Lucifer with other sinners or demons. To rule Hell with or just have a good time, you know? He is a little shy, but he is a good guy and we hated seeing him all alone. But there was no sparks, or at least nothing that lasted very long, so we kept trying and trying. Until I suppose it came to a point in which it just became too annoying to deal with and Lucifer got wasted. And I mean, wasted with a capital W, man. I have only see it happen a handful of times since we are here and, trust me, it was a blast everytime. He danced with Bee, our gluttnous queen, and made musical number all night about how he didn't need nobody at all because the single life was so much better anyway. At some point during the night, he brought me aside and told me, fuck looking for anyone else, you know? Fuck that. I want to be free and remain free, he said. Unless a certain condition is met. Which condition, you ask? Easy. Whoever got to gather 666 souls at their disposition, that should be the most horrid, disgusting, psychopatic, low…" Asmodeous looked over at Alastor again and cleared his throat. "Anyway, a very particular kind of person that Luci felt at the time that would be his perfect match. He wouldn't stop insisting on it until I had wrote it down and make it official. Again, he was wasted. And like I said, I thought he had nullified it years ago or changed to make it even more difficult with more and more mortal souls coming to this realm that could get to that number. But apparently not" said, bobbing his head as he looked over at Lucifer, making his mouth into a disapproving line. "We tried to respect that nonsense, because that is what you do when your friend has been burned enough times. But that meant that sooner or later, someone was going to reach those numbers. I guess that means congratulations to you, sinner, because you are the first one of all of humanity to get that many souls."

Alastor blinked at him as if he had spoken in gibberish. He slowly moved over at Lucifer, who was also looking back at him between the fingers of his hands.

"I… forgot" said slowly, like it pained him to say such words. "I am so, so sorry."

Alastor turned back to Asmodeus.

"Are we sure there isn't a mistake?" asked, still trying to understand. "I wasn't counting, but I never thought I had that many."

"Mmm, let me guess" Asmodeus said, pointing at him with a finger. "By any chance were you also devouring other sinners who also had souls under their control? How are those called now? Otherlords?" asked to Lucifer, but the king of Hell just shrugged.

"Overlords" Alastor took a deep breath, suddenly reminded of the bridge between mortal souls and royalty again. "Yes, I did."

"Then that explains it" said Asmodeus, snapping his fingers. "All those souls they had came to become yours. You were duplicating or even triplicating your number with one single meal and you didn't even know it. Well, even if you did, it's not like you would have known what was going to happen once reached a certain number. This was always just one of those things you would only know if you were there, you know? Since someone never advertised it because, apparently, they forgot all about it the next day."

Lucifer groaned and rubbed his face, standing up.

"Listen, it doesn't matter" said. For the first time, Alastor saw a golden color extending over the porcelain skin that could only be the king's version of a blush. "This was all a very stupid mistake I did a long time ago. I just wanted Ozzie to confirm that it happened and he did, so now that we are all in the same page we can talk about just undoing it all. Once I do that, the condition will be null too because it was already fulfilled and we can pretend none of this happened" Lucifer inhaled, finally lifting his eyes to meet Alastor's. "I am very sorry that you were brought here. I will just get the papers, sign them and both our rings will dissapear instantly. You will be able to just go back to whatever evil things you were doing before any of this."

"Wait, wait, hold on" Asmodeus straighten up in the couch, reaching a hand to pat gently the shoulder of Lucifer. "Maybe there is no need to go that far yet."

"Ozzie" Lucifer stared at him like he alreadyd didn't like what was about to come out of his mouth.

"I mean!" Asmodeus made a wide gesture towards Alastor, "Of all the kinds of demons you could get in Hell, this guy is not bad looking at all! You could have done a lot worse. I am just saying, he is already here anyway, you already put a ring on it, so why not give it a go? Worst case escenario, it doesn't work, you get a null and then we forget all about this."

"You are insane" said Lucifer, turning towards him. "How do you figure that any of this is okay?"

"Oh, I am sorry, but if we are going to start pointing fingers, you are not coming on top, Luci. I am just trying to make a suggestion here. See a positive side."

Seeing as Lucifer was opening his mouth to protest, Alastor stomped his cane in the floor and spoke first.

"That is a great idea, your Majesty!" said, earning himself the attention of both royals. Asmodeus nodded, as if encouraging him further, while Lucifer looked like he couldn't believe he had been looked up with two lunatics. But Alastor finally had a clear idea of what he could do in this situation and wasn't going to just let it go. How many sinners could ever say that they were on his same position, literally brushing next with the throne of Hell itself? If he played his cards right, he could get all the control he ever wanted and nobody would ever be above him.

"I have to admit, I was also facing a bit of bad luck on the dating apartment, so this opportunity actually comes at the perfect time for me" continued, taking a step closer to Lucifer, only for the devil itself take it back until his feet hit the couch behind him. Alastor straightened up again, keeping up his smile friendly. He didn't mention that his lack of dating was entirely a choice he made, one he never regretted or felt the need to change in all his years of living. "I am terribly sorry about the rude way in which I treated you before, your Majesty. I had no idea who I waas dealing with. I thought I was defending myself from a possible attacker, and surely I don't have to say to a man of your vast experience how necessary preucation can become for a soul down here. But if it's instead for the sake of exploring a new union, well, then that is a different story altogehter. One I don't mind to find out how it continues, if you are willing to give me a chance" Alastor looked at those black hands and thought maybe holding them. The image immediately brought another of the the devil using them to pierce through his chest and destroy his heart between his fingers like it was nothing but a grape, soft and squishy. A shiver ran through him at the violent prospect, at the very real danger he was standing in front of such a being, no matter how absurdly small he was. Oh, it had been a long while since he ever had a reason to be concerned about someone's strenght. Even Hell itself could become boring if there was no challenge. "I can say for my side, sir, that I do not find you bad looking at all either."

"Oh, swoon" said Lucifer, not impressed in the slightest.

Asmodeus clapped his hands together, standing up.

"Then it's decided then!" Asmodeus went to the side of Lucifer and rubbed his shoulder, bringing him closer. "You two will keep up this thing rolling and see where that take us! Congratulations on your new husband, Lulu!" The king of Lust brought Lucifer to his wide chest for a hug, the face of the first fallen almost dissapearing between the thick arms of the sin.

Alastor stood still and tilted his head, in part relieved that he wasn't expected to participate in. Mostly still in shock that between the two of them, the figure with the duckie slippers was the most powerful one. Just how more absurd this whole issue could be?

"You do realize I didn't say I was okay with this, right?!" protested Lucifer, almost buried on the blue chest fluff.

"But you totally are, Lulu, I know you. Now don't whine in front of…" Asmodeus made a gesture towards Alastor and he was actually surprised to realize that, during all of this, he didn't even presented himself.

So many other things have gone and go through his head to make that a priority.

"Alastor Abaddon, sir!" said, regaining his composure instantly. "The Radio Demon, at your service to make your acquantance. A pleasure to be meeting you, quite the pleasure."

Asmodeus snorted, covering his mouth, as Lucifer's pressed together into a uncomfortable line.

"Oh, sweetie, I hope you weren't too attached to that last name you had" said Asmodeus with a playful smirk. "While this thing with Luci last, you will be a Morningstar from now on."

"It's o-okay, we can change it" said Lucifer, blushing even more as he turned his head to the other side.

"I don't mind" Alastor shrugged with a dismissing handwave. That was just a last name he made up to detach himself from the name of his father once the mand had died. He was no more endeared to it as he was for some old shoes that had outlived their usefulness, especially when he had some newer and shinier ones that could fit him just as well. "I assume anyway that this whole new development is to be kept underwraps and between us, am I wrong? Since the king never had an inclination to show himself to the public, not that I know of at least, then I can't see this new development being all that different."

"Uh, yeah, actually" said Lucifer once Asmodeus put him back on the floor, more relaxed because he didn't have to make that request himself. "A-at least for now, you know."

"Of course, your Majesty" Alastor had no issue with that. Just like he had no issue to be patient if he knew that the rewards was worth it. "I value a private life just as much as you do. I won't say a word about our new arrengement until we are both ready for that."

"Aww, but it would have been fun, though" sighed Asmodeus, blowing up over his upper lip. "All the drama, the gossip. Every news media in all of Hell would eat that up for months. We don't even have to say how it happened. Just say hey, guess what cute king got himself a hottie now."

"Ozzie" Lucifer chuckled with a half assed frown. "Not a word, please."

"Whatever you say, Luci" Asmodeus shrugged. "What about Bee and the others? Are you going to tell them?"

Lucifer sighed. He threw a look to Alastor and then at Asmodeus, scratching the back of his neck.

"I guess I will. Eventually. For now, though…"

"I got it, I got it. Keep my pretty mouth shut" Asmodeus chuckled and offered his hand to Alastor. "For now, then, welcome to the family, Alastor."

Alastor looked at that giant hands and then at the giant it was attached to. A giant that who even knows did with those hands in a daily basis while advertising all kinds of sexual toys and entertainment. He kept his smile neutral as he offered the tip of his cane.

"Alright, whatever makes you comfortable" Asmodeus snorted, but did shook it in the end. If he noticed when Alastor cleaned his cane with his hankerchief later, he didn't take offense as he talked to Lucifer again. "I will leave the two of you alone then. Give me a call for anything you want, Luci. It was nice meeting you, Alastor!"

In a moment, another diamond portal opened up and Asmodeus walked to the other side with a wave. Once his magic was gone, it was only the two of them again. Alastor prepared himself to speak when Lucifer cleared his throat first.

"I probably should change" said with a little chuckle, snapping his finger. His pink robe and duckie slippers changed into a stripped vest, buttoned up shirt as white as his pants and black boots up to the knee. If that was his usual attire, it was an improvement over what he had before, but still didn't scream king in Alastor's eyes. "That is much better. Uhm, hey, since you are going to be staying here, you should get your own room. Unless you want to…?"

"My own room sounds fine" said Alastor before he could finish that sentence.

Lucifer nodded, his shoulder relaxing as if that was also the option he prefered. The king made a gesture for him to follow him to the hallway. As Alastor went behind him, he also saw that the bucket of ice cream had dissapeared and there were no traces of it in the carpet either.

"I have like, a bunch of unused rooms" was explaining the king, casually going through a portal he opened up with merely a flick of the wrist. When they both traspassed, Alastor saw a long hallway with doors at both sides. Despite his lively talking, Alastor noticed that Lucifer was still avoiding making direct eye contact with him. "Pick whichever you want and then you can decorate it however you like. I guess the only actual rule would be, maybe don't invite people over? To not explain the whole living in the palace now thing. Don't do parties or stuff like that either."

"I wasn't planning to do either, but it's good to know. Something else?"

"Mmm… maybe just don't blow up stuff, I guess?" Lucifer chuckled, shrugging. "I don't know, I can repair almost anything in a second so it's not a huge deal either."

"I was more thinking about the schedule in this place."

"Oh" Lucifer blinked, as if the thought haven't even crossed his mind. "I guess, just breakfast, lunch and dinner at the usual hours? But you don't have to come to those if you want to get out or have something else going on. Just because of… this" Lucifer sighed, lifting his hand with the wedding band, "I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything or change your whole life. It's not like you were the one who set this up" Lucifer frowned. "Technically speaking, you don't really need to live here, now that I think about it."

"Oh, but if it's no issue for your Majesty" added Alastor before that thought could go any further, "then I would like to try cohabitation. I don't think it's a stretch to say that it would be far more convenient for the both of us if we really want to make this work. It would also just be my pleasure to accompany your Majesty during the meal times. It's no trouble for me at all."

Lucifer looked up to him for a moment and then looked away.

"Well, if you say so" sighed. "Again, if you have something else going on, it's fine. You can come and go whenever you want. I will see that you have your own key and security recognizes you as well. If you need something specific, I can get for you as long it can be bought. And isn't like a human pet or something, because that is just weird."

"Understood, sir" Alastor chuckled. "Don't worry, I can get those on my own anyway."

"Oh, goodie" Lucifer turned towards him, crossing his arms. Alastor got the impression that he wanted to say something else than what ended up coming out of his mouth. "I guess that is all. Anything you think we should discuss?"

"Can I see the rest of the palace?"

"Oh, sure. You can see anything, just not my office or my room. I keep a especial order on those."

Alastor nodded, translating that as they were both a mess it was best not to touch. Even if they weren't, he wasn't going to commit the dumb mistake of just invading the privacy of the king immediately after knowing him and risk being turned into decorations for the walls.

"Other than that, I think you are good" said Lucifer and it wasn't a smile what passed on his face, but it was pretty close. "I… I guess I should probably let you settle in then. My room is on the hallway at the right so, you know, if you need something come knocking. Oh, and call any of the servants if you want to eat."

"I will keep it in mind, your Majesty" Alastor smiled what he hoped was a charming gesture, but Lucifer had already turned over his heel to walk the rest of the way into a new portal.

"Great! I guess that is all then! See you tomorrow!" said the king without looking at him, dissapearing from his sight.

Alastor ended up chosing the room at the very end of the hallways, where he could conceivable could still see the king walking out. It was big and luxurious, just like he would expect from a guest room in the palace, but far too impersonal for his taste. Only once he had all his minions setting it up exactly to his taste, Alastor sat down on his new bed and bounced off of it. Slowly, a realization started to creep in at the side of his neck until crawling inside of his ear and nesting at the very center of his brain.

Make himself into the most powerful being of all hell by marrying the king was a good plan, but one for which he had no details to count on. This was, after all, a completely new situation for him.

All his experience dealing consisted in pretending to be a friend or a helper, someone that could provide a essential that a poor soul needed, but he wasn't entirely sure how could that apply with a king. What could he give to one that he couldn't obtain in his own?

Company?

Would that be enough to sustain a whole marriage? Enough for the man to concede him all the power he could want? He had no idea.

[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)