#GIRLIE its your job to tell me what to do why are you ghosting me

[queer-chnospinci]

Screaming crying chomping violence

[that-bitch-kat3]

kats initial ttpd thoughts

fortnight:

stand out lines: i took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary

i like this one. i don’t think it’s my favorite (or i hope it won’t be) but i think the production does do it for me. i was honestly hoping that “i love you it’s ruining my life” would have been in a… better (?) song. this will undoubtedly grow on me but not a great start.

ttpd:

standout lyric: “i’ve seen this episode and still loved the show”

okay “who uses typewriters anyways” is objectively a really funny line. “i’ve seen this episode and still loved the show” im screaming crying and throwing up how dare you put that lyric in a song i have to listen to.

on a different note who tf are dylan thomas and patti smith? am i meant to know these people?

oh my god. the way charlie puth is about to have his career explode. this poor man. i hope he was warned.

CYCLONE!! CONEY ISLAND!!!

oh i like this bridge. also lucy as in lucy dacus?

i’m trying not to be a hater but taylor “now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon” couldn’t have come up with a more poetic way to say you put my ring on the finger where people put wedding rings? fr? is this about marty healy? i hope to god it’s not.

mbobhft:

stand out lyrics: “once i fix me he’s gonna miss me” and “there was forever in the heat of my touch, he say forever so he smashed it up”

i was ready to not like this one but im kinda into it. the line “i’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me” is… not something i am ready to unpack. this is a really good song and i will probs have it on repeat for a while but i stg if i don’t hear a song about joe soon im gonna be pissed

down bad:

standout lyric: jury’s still out

this song was not written by a 33 year old. jesus christ. taylor please. STAND UP. THIS IS BAD FOR THE BRAND!! however as a 19 year old: real af.

you loved his indecent exposures? interesting.

this is once again giving situationship. which is insane because JOE WAS HERE FOR 6 YEARS?!? WE DONT GET TO HEAR ABOUT THAT?!? i mean like she is entitled to her privacy but never in my life did i want to hear this much about marty healy

so long london:

stand out lyric: “i didn’t opt in to be your odd man out. i founded the club she’s heard great things about” “you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”

not the production i was expecting from a track 5 but ill keep and open mind.

fairy lights mentioned!! ttpd bingo moment

i like this bridge tbh. it kinda fucks. “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues” taylor wtf?

two graves one gun?!? oh wow! very melodramatic and i love it

this song is good. very sad so great job! killed it! i’m not crying yet tho

but daddy i love him:

stand out lyrics: Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all

HEYY RELIGOUS TRAUMA VIBES?!? FUCK YEAH!! FINALLY SOME GOOD RELATEBLE CONTENT!!

this is so champagne problems vibes

“im having his baby! no im not but you should see your face” BAHHAHA taylor wtf

i was hoping for more religious trauma energy than what i got. i had high hopes with that first verse

OMG WHAT?!? MAAM?!? “ID RATHER BURN MY WHOLE LIFE DOWN THAN LISTEN TO ONE MORE SECOND OF ALL THIS BITCHIN AND MOANIN” GIRLY YOUR “BABY” IS ANTISEMEIC?

okay this song is now just funny to me. deeply i would’ve kept this one in the vault but it’ll grow on me

fresh out the slammer:

stand out lyric: n/a

we are starting with the lowest of standards for the record. i do not have a good vibe from this song

its fine. liek it’s not revolutionary to me. like its okay but… why does this beat change like that and did the long prison metaphor help? i think not.

however yeah bring up that he didn’t propose again. love that for you

florida!!!

stand out lyric: well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time

!! what!! “they said i was a cheat so i guess i must be” ARENT YOU THE ONE WHO WRITE IVY AND HIGH INFEDELITY?!? WHAT?!? i am giggling so hard. taylor what are you saying?!?

this song reminded how much i love florence! i mean that woman can really sing

nbnc reference! that was not on my bingo card!

texas mentioned!! slay!!

i love this song. like i fr really like this one. the drums are a bit much but i love how their voices work together! delicious

guilty as sin?

standout lyric: “there no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk” “i keep recalling things we never did”

i like how this one sounds

this song is really good! and bestie i get it! yikes!

this song is really for the girlies who make up fake scenarios to hurt their own feelings and i feel seen

false god references(?)

well terrible job everyone that was a bit too relatable! thanks! i’m going to throw up! or scream! or cry!

who’s afraid of little old me?

standout lyric: “you don’t get to tell me about sad” “is it a wonder i broke let’s hear one more joke” “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

yay!! she’s doing witchcraft again!! thank god!! levitate queen!!

you should be afraid of little old me was not what i was expecting from this song! but i like it! also i am enjoying this production

“so tell me everything isnt about me but what if it is?” HAHAHH TAYLOR WHAT IS THIS?!?

no taylro they say that you’ll sue them they prublish public information about your plane! so close tho!

jokes aside i like this! this one’s gonna be in my tops i think! it reminds me of tlgad which is one love

i can fix him (no really i can)

standout lyric: “he had a halo of the highest grade, he just hasn’t met me yet”

texas mentioned again!! a win is a win

another song about matty healy?!? must we?!? are we sure? this is proof that any relationship pain is overshadowed by a 3 month situationship

loml: “better safe than starry eyed”

mmm im liking this one!

damn marriage is brought up a lot in the album for someone who wrote lavendar haze

i like that there is the love of my life to loss of my life switch! i was worried she abrievated that for no reason

still alive, killing time at the cemetery is a great line!!

!!! oh!! i wish i could unrecall how we almost had it all! i didn’t think i would like that lyric!! i in fact do.

icdiwabh:

standout lyric: “babe you gotta fake it till you make it and you did”

THIS SONG IS SO GOOD!! OH SHIT

okay now this is my shit. i like how she’s taking about her success and shit

i cry a lot but i am so productive it’s an art is so real

“try and come for my job” yikes.

the smallest man who every lived

standout lyric: “i would’ve died for your sins but i died inside”

this one isn’t doing it for me so far. i’m sure it’ll grow on me but idk it’s not killing it for me.

DID SHE JUST CALL HIS DICK SMALL?!? HELLO?!? good lord i hope that’s what that meant

“you kicked out the stage lights but your still preforming?!?” GOOD LORD TAYLOR! it’s so jover

The alchemy:

standout lyric: “he jokes that it’s heroin but this time with an E”

i had to listen to this song twice cause i could just not lay attention

AYO ITS TRAVIS!! god the next album is gonna have so many football metaphors that i will not understand

this is really cute! i’m on team trayvis

clara bow:

standout lyric: promise to be dazzling

cool! now i’m sad!

as a girl who tries to be something exciting but feels like she never gets there this is very yikes! greta job gang

DID SHE JUST SAY HER OWN NAME?!? SHE NEVER DONE THAT

OH MY GOD

YOUVE GOT EDGE SHE NEVER DID

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

the black dog:

standout lyric:

i am scared!

oh shit! who cheated on taylor?!?

oh wait. maybe that’s not true

i love old habits die screaming! tahts a funky line. i know we already had it but im a fan

!! hoax reference!!

!!daylight reference!!

oh joe. that poor man. they’re gonna kill him.

this is putting a sad spin on some of my fav songs so that’s cool

imgonnagetyouback:

standout lyric: “pick your poison babe, i’m poison either way”

did we need to do this in one word

OH MY GOD

SHE MAKING THE SAME THING AS GET HIM BACK BY OLIVIA RODRGIO

now i personally would’ve rewritten this one or picked a different song but this is a choice

this is a worse versions of get him back! imo

eras fading to gray is a crazy line!

the albatross:

standout lyric: “the devil you know now looks more like and angel”

this is kinda giving cowboy like me vibes but with more unnecessary vocal effects but that does in fact mean that i like it

peace reference?!

idk im into this one i think

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus:

standout lyric: all of them <3

my god this is a long title

oh my god. did she just out joe alywn? what? that can’t be what just happened

“you needed me but you needed drugs more” IM THROWING UP HOW DARE YOU

nobody touch me

“if you want to break my cold cold heart, just say i loved you. the way that you were” okay so now i am crying! hey! tahts cool! in other news put me on watch

this is one of my tops

you can tell cause i’m depressed now

maroon reference!!

okay so i will never recover congrats everyone!

how did it end?

standout lyric: “we learned the right steps to different dances”

i feel invasive listening to this. i didn’t want to hear about matty anymore but this is a lot.

this song is good but sweet lord. this is really sad. which i should’ve guessed but this is not what i was expecting

“D-Y-I-N-G” that was not how i thought that line was gonna end

so high school:

standout lyric: idk man they’re all cute

is this another one about travis?!? yay!!

awww she want to marry him! that’s so exciting!! and also maybe kill him but we do what we can

this is really cute

i’m glad she got this back! cause this is giving very fearless vibes which is perfect! i love that! i love that she’s having the sweet love again! and i’m so glad im not listening about matty! cause that man if the gift that won’t stop giving. no matter what i do. he just won’t.

i hate it here:

standout lyric: “No mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears” “when they found a better planet only the gentle survive”

second time bringing up being a precocious child! not something i thought we would get twice!

this song feels like it’s right off folklore

GIRL WHAT!?! “I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid” this is why no one wanted to play with you as a little kid

oh yikes now i’m relating

“i get lost on purpose. this place made me feel worthless” crying in the club once again

she really had to fight not to call him a finance bro

thank you aimee

stand out lyric: “Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead”

go to jail just for the capitalization

i feel like im missing something

is amiee real? is she a metaphor? is it someone from the rep era? i’m lost

if this is 15 year old beef that is amazing.

“there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you” oh lol that’s so funny.

thank god taylor changed the name! cause otherwise they would kill her!

“and one day your kid comes home singing a song that only us two is gonna know so about you” oh that’s so good. you see i like taylor better when she’s being petty over decade old shit. it makes her more relatable

i look in peoples windows

stand out lyric: “i’m afflicted by the not knowing” “im addicted to the if only”

i love this.

is this the new shortest song in her discography? it’s gotta be. it’s like 2 minutes long

anyways. relatable. killin it

the prophecy:

stand out lyric: “Don't want money just someone who wants my company”

finally a song i can relate to! you know cause im psychic?

“I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope a greater woman wouldn't beg” yikes

oh no. i’m gonna cry. you see now im reminded of why i feel like im never enough. so cool 🤙

witchcraft again!! yay!!

what is gray-ge? gray/beige? was that already a word?

cassandra:

standout lyric: “what does kill you makes you aware. what happens if it becomes who you are”

bffr taylor does not patch cracks in her house

sorry i know tahts a metaphor, allow me to start by being less of a hater

oh i love a call back to the 2016 era. yikes

“BLOODS THICK BUT NOTHING LIKE A PAYROLL” HOLY FUCK WHAT?!?

“when its burn the bitch they’re shrieking, when the truth comes out they’re quiet” lol relatable

peter:

standout lyric: “we both did the best we could do underneath the name moon in different galaxies”

who is peter? very excting!

oh it’s peter pan! that’s cute!

is this about joe? i’m confused? i have no idea who this is about

i liek the piano! i like this more stripped back version

great bridge!

“cause love's never lost when perspective is earned” HEY BRO WHAT

the bolter: “she was leaving it felt like breathing”

standout lyric:

omg hey she wrote a song about me! jk it just started idk what this is

oh no

i cant do this right now

okay so no comment but yeah very relatable! cool! (except i’m not really a bolter now that i think about it. i just think i am. i’m actually not a quitter. im a stick with it person even when maybe i should bolt.)

robin:

stand out lyric: “you have no room in your head for regrets”

i like these a lot better than the first part of this album. i actually can’t tell if it’s a double release or not but i just like these more emotional songs more.

is she singing to her child self?!? is that what happening?!?

crying again.

the manuscript:

stand out lyric: looking backward might be the only way to move forward

my god this is a lot of songs! not complaining but i’m tired

okay i like the piano

“He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was soon they’d be pushing strollers” FUCKING HELLo?!? well now i’m in pain slay

this was not what i was expecting at all but let it be known i am crying and im not okay

this song really fucked me up guys

[pinkpantherjam]

A Recap of Jam's Year (2023 Ver)

January- I left my job and returned in Laguna with mama and my siblings. I reorganized my body clock from strenuous graveyard shift to normal and became the instant eldest doing ate's roles because she just decided to ghost all of us. I had so much regrets because i didn't have a backup plan or any savings left from my former job. I could have had something to use for myself. It made me realize that resigning never felt rewarding after all because i no longer receive bi-weekly pay plus i'm back with major household chores which i think was so tiring compared to my routine of living alone series as a working girlie in Manila-Makati. Mom made me leave the job because they offered to support me in my studies and all around expense so i took the opportunity because somehow that was what my body needed. But from that experience i learned financial independence. I learned it the hard way that a good way to invest for your future is through starting small steps of saving. Aside from the fact that my ego can't ask stuff to my parents as i was used to buying all the things i need and want on my own, nothing is more rewarding when you wallet is full. I should've opened a bank account and took an effort to spare for something that will eventually grow in the future back when i had the opportunity. January made me realize that saving was actually as serious thing to help yourself out in the future:))

February- Second semester , 1st year in Adu and from those few days of schooling i got tired of life. An exchange of parental support is an effort to comply and cater the most dysfunctional person in the family. What Step Father wants, is what we follow. On the other hand, Mom told me she cared about my health and physical well being so she had to watch over my eating habits and that is why i can't stay in a dorm. But mom never cared about the fact that i study kilometers away which takes 2-3 hrs , a total of four rides before i get there and ironically speaking, that would mean her daughter will go home late everyday tired and drained from school and commute. But i continued and chose to stick around. I was so strong that i managed my own sanity while adjusting to my circumstance. I kept on manifesting that by second year i'll get to rent a dorm in Ermita and i no longer needed to travel 6 hrs a day.

March- I took the opportunity to speak my mind more through speech & writing competitions and joining academic organizations. Not because i was motivated but because I have lived my daily life with guilt seeing and knowing that somebody is making a living along with funding my studies so i have to not just study hard but also excel. That became my reason until i lose sight of everything in me. I've always reminded myself that if i am tired, so are they. Until i forgot its purpose and became drained. I also think it was the month where i get to have more bonding with friends and i get to widen my circle. I had this thing where i thought "the more, the merrier". I was such an extroverted person.

April to May- all i know is that i was fighting. i never gave up from the fact that i'm few days away of making it through the semester and eventually I will be a sophomore sooner or later. I numbed myself from all the insult i received from my own parents because i valued gratitude even more. They gave me a thought that i owe them because they offered me shelter, food, and education. I had plans of working or looking for a job by summer because i had nothing to do and i wanted to save up too. I missed treating myself out also:<< At the back of my head i was already guessing mama would disapprove.

June to August- I was fully vacant with nothing to do at home so i applied for a job in Laguna without mama knowing. When i announced i was hired she disapproved. She kept on telling me she wanted my body to rest but i know on the other hand that once one of us gets a job, that would lessen their power and authority. Our dependence towards them is what will boost it and the same thing will also be their card against us. So i was jobless the entire summer rethinking about what life could have been if i never resigned, if i never left my dormitory, or in general if i could live an authentic life where i can decide for myself and the things i want to do. I was also heartbroken during last weeks of august because i never made it to the list of scholars despite of my high GWA, it turns out that i actually had one subject close to 2.00 and just like that, for a couple of months i did dwell myself on the thought that i was a failure, something i should've not. It was hard to accept because I was almost there, but it seems to be as if everything i did was not enough. It felt as if I was so ahead of the curve, until the curve became a sphere. I kept trying still.

September to October- i met a very gentle person who takes his time to get to know me. He was patient when i declined for a couple of times, i kept myself high and he did all his best to reach me. I was never an open book so never did i willingly utter stuff about me, my family, even my deepest and most sincere desires. He proved himself, he did all he could, he cares about my well being, shows me simple to big gestures of giving through things that make my heart happy and that includes all his acts of service. He constantly reminded me that he was and will always be proud of me and the things i do. He called me beautiful even during the days i didn't feel like it. He kept in track of me through written notes of the things he admired about me each day, along with sweet compliments were all the sweets he gave. There was this one rainy day and he rushed his way to where i was before his exam starts just so he could hand me white roses. He takes me to beautiful places i haven't been. He waited all along until i would open my heart fully, until i would allow myself to feel how comforting it is to have someone beside me; Ought to love and to be loved genuinely. And from that day onwards, my night rides on the bus never felt miserable, or lonely and cold because he travels with me until Laguna even though he lives in Taguig just so he could make sure that I'd get home safely without him knowing that whenever i am with him, it feels so warm as if i am already Home. Romance is indeed not dead, if you keep it just...yours.

November- to recall my last two months of the year, November has taught me so many things. It was the time of the month when my "so called" friends turned their backs on me. I felt betrayed. They made up things about me, things i wouldn't do, accused me, confronted me for things i am not even responsible in the first place and that ruined my mental health. I realized it was so much draining to have such kind of friendship and i had so many regrets. My bad for having empathy, my bad because i never chose who i surrounded myself with because i was blind. I was overly friendly that i forgot my worth. From that, i learned the art of detachment. I decided to cut off all the people who disrespected me and ruined my well being. Not just my former friends but also those who treated me badly. I was slowly leaving my people pleaser self and kept my circle smaller and smaller. I even decided to fully cut ties with those who made me feel a certain guilt for not doing them favors. Choosing peace is somewhat painful especially if you somehow shared memories with those people. But for my own sanity, i decided to let things be. That took me quite some time to finally accept that not all things taken care of actually last. I felt sorry for myself, i felt sorry for the days i haven't checked my environment. It doesn't mean i never cried about it. I just decided to continue because life goes on. Eventually, "the more the merrier" does not apply in relationships.

December- i left.

I left home. I left the environment that suffocated me for years. I left the people I thought were my people, I left the unhealthy ones, the ones who made me question myself. I left those who abused me emotionally, physically and mentally. I left the university that gave me an unforgettable memory of how I used to pity myself when the professors who knew me and sought that I was a kid with an upbringing potential saw me hopeless and crying in front of them because her own mother reported her, her step father tarnished everything she has, her own parents invalidated everything she worked hard for. I left places and avoided spaces that reminded me of where or how to end my life. I avoided the bus terminal and that vehicle I couldn't avoid to cry publicly then and now. I left my old self and started to outgrow ties, friendships, and even dreams. I left the program people think I excel at. I had to leave my sister and brother for now in the care of my mother because I cannot afford to give them a life yet. I left everything, everybody, all at once. I kept a low profile and never did I tell anyone where I am or what I'm up to. I left to the extent that people eventually forget my existence. I never celebrated Christmas, new year or my own birthday because I can't find reasons to celebrate mourning seasons. I took the risk to let go of who I once was and the things I once wanted. And now I am enduring liberty, solitude, and love— until I can think and feel that I am finally clean.

[xtrashmammalstefx]

Where My Demon’s Hide (A Zak Bagans x Nephilim Reader SMUT!)

WARNINGS: SMUT, LANGUAGE

SPECIAL THANKS TO: @xcazzax​ who not only gave me this idea but who has inspired me to maybe write Zak Bagans fics for each day of October (or at least try to). Thanks girly, for helping me get my mojo back. 😊

I arrived at the Asylum just as they were setting up the cameras. I've been with the GAC for a few years now and I have yet to have a boring day with them. They are and always will be my family. Aaron, was like a goofball older brother who smokes like a chimney, looks tough as shit but is actually chicken shit (not that that's a bad thing, lord knows I'm not brave when locked in a haunted room  on my lonesome). Billy is my punk rock brother who has also not grown out of the punk/emo phase of life. Jay is the responsible one of the group (aka the dad) who sometimes looks like he's ashamed of having raised such dumbass kids.  And there's Zak, the main man of GAC who is both crazy and beautiful. He wasn't afraid to get in an evil spirits face, and even opened up his home to those who were harming others in their old one's. It's that twisted generosity that has led to moments like these.

Aaron looked nervous and Billy seemed to not want to leave the van unless absolutely necessary. That only meant one thing.

“How is he?” I asked Aaron who was getting the equipment ready.

“Um, well...”

“ C'MON SHOW YOURSELF YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!” We heard Zak yell from inside the asylum.

“Oh,” I sighed. I swear it was like Zak attracted evil (and sometimes demonic) spirits like chocolate attracts a hoard of kids. Then again he was more than okay with investigating places with the most gruesome of histories. “I'll see if I can cool him down before the shoot. Just hang tight.”

“'Kay, good luck Y/N.” Aaron said.

I grabbed a flashlight from the van and walked in to the asylum. Zak was in the middle of reception area with a wild look in his eye. “Zak?”

He looked at me. “There's something here I-I know it!”

I looked around not seeing anything until my eyes landed on a shadowy figure hovering around Zak. Ah shit. “Zak it's not one of the residents,” I said. “One of your little friends is just being an asshole.”

The shadow looked up and snarled at me.

“Yeah I'm talking about you,” I rolled my eyes. “Now kindly fuck off before I hose your sorry ass down with holy water.”

It growled and vanished.

“Thanks,” Zak said calming down a bit.

“We really need to do something about this Zak,” I said. “You can't keep letting them get to you like that. It's how they win.”

“I know but...I don't know how else to keep them from hurting anyone,” he said. “From hurting you.”

“Well it's gone for now, and that's all that matters,” I said brushing his cheek with my hand. “Now are we just gonna chill in here or are we gonna investigate this bitch?”

He smirked. “C'mon my ghost whisperer let's get you a mic and a camera.” He threw his arm around my shoulders and escorted me back out of the asylum and to the GAC van.

Eventually the sun went down fully and the haunting hour was upon us. “Okay Y/N why don't you stay here by yourself for a bit and see what you can get.” Zak said when we reached the children's ward.. Sadistic fucker.

“Sure,” I said. He and the crew left and I sat down cross-legged on the ground and put my 'gift' to work. “Hello there. I was wondering if we could talk for a minute if that's okay.” I placed the spirit box on the floor in front of me. “You see this little box? Well if you talk into it I can hear you...er I mean the world will hear you. I for one don't really need it. So what do you say?”

“D-Do you know where my mommy is?” A small voice called out in the darkness.

I sighed. “No sweetie, I don't...what's your name?”

“H-Hazel,” she said.

“It's nice to meet you, Hazel, I'm Y/N,” I said. “Can you do me a favor and speak into this?” I motioned at the spirit box. “My friends really want to know you, and help you if we can.”

“R-Really? Wuh-What about Dr. Meanie?” she asked.

“Dr. Bronson can't hurt you anymore,” I said. “And if he tries, he'll have to deal with me.”

I suddenly felt a weight on my lap, like that of a small child snuggling up to mommy.

“I-Is this okay?” she asked.

“Yes, beautiful, it's fine.” I reached out and wrapped my arms around her. “God, how did such a sweet little angel like you end up here? This is no place for a child.”

“M-Mommy came here when I was still in her tummy,” she explained. “They took me away after I was born and I never saw her again.”

“Do you know how you ended up like this?” I asked. “You're awfully young to be as you are.”

“I-I got sick...Dr. Meanie wouldn't give me my medicine 'cause I slapped Tippy on the head for pulling my hair. One day I went to sleep, and...and suddenly I was invisible.”

“Have you tried to go into the light?” I asked. “I'm sure you'll find your mommy there, and someday I'll be there too.”

“I thought I saw it once but...I was afraid. Dr. Meanie tells us it's not safe.”

“It is safe,” I said. “I promise you it is a thousand times better than this place.” I wanted to say shit hole but I had a rule about cussing in front of kids, even the dead ones.

“It's in my room,” she whispered.

I sniffed back a tear and kissed the top of her head. “Go to it,” I urged her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, angels belong in heaven after all,” I said brushed her cheek and she giggled.

“Thank you, Ms. Y/M,” she said standing up and vanishing through the nearby doorway.

“Good bye sweet angel,” I said before turning off the spirit box and pausing my camera.

I left the ward and got Zak on the walkie. “Alright, I'm done.”

“'Kay I'm down in the basement if you wanna...WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Zak?” He didn't answer. “ZAK!?” Still nothing. I sighed. “Dammit.”

I took off running.

Down in the basement Zak was looking around and shouting like a madman. “Zak what happened?! What's going on?!”

“There was a shadowing standing right fucking next to me,” he said. I looked around and sure enough a tall shadowy figured hovered behind him.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” I snapped at it.

“My, my...” it said smugly. “Aren't you an interesting specimen.”

“Leave us alone, now!” I said. It laughed. “I'm not fucking around! Leave and never return to this sacred ground.” He flinched at the words I've said more times than I would like.

“Foolish woman,” he laughed. “This place is anything but sacred.”

“It wasn't in your time,” I said walking towards a nearby wall. “But now...” I took my bottle of holy water and dabbed some onto my hand. I then drew a cross on the wall.

“Is that all you got?” the demon scoffed.

I smirked. “Lesson number one in haunting,” I said taking out my small switchblade. I made a small cut on my fore finger  and drew a symbol on the wall above the cross. A symbol no demon could fight against. “Don't piss off a Nephilim.”

The empty pits where it's eyes once were widened and a loud roar erupted from its mouth.  

“I, Y/N, the daughter of Michael send thee to the house of thy uncle Lucifer...may he not have mercy on your soul.” The ground opened up and the shadow was swallowed by a wall of flames. “I hate fucking demons,” I muttered once it was gone.

Zak looked at me in shock. “Is there really never gonna be a time when this doesn't surprise you?” I asked.

“Nope,” he said snapping out of it.

“You feeling okay?” I asked placing my hand on his cheek.

“Yeah,” he said. “Thanks...”

“Anytime,” I said pecking him on the cheek.

We continued investigating and got plenty of evidence that made sleeping not an option for the next year.

That night we were hold up in a hotel. I couldn't sleep so once I was showered and jammied up I went for a walk. So many different things ran through my mind and I tried to sort them out as best I could. But then I heard the shouting...

“LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” Zak damn near roared. “For fucks sake!” I heard him cry.

I went up to his door and knocked furiously. “Zak it's me, let me in!”

“Not now Y/N,” he begged.

“Yes now,” I snapped at him. “I know there's someone there with you and I'm the only one who can help, so let me fucking in!”

A moment later the door opened and Zak stood there looking exhausted and just done with life. It was terrifying and heartbreaking. ..but it was nothing compared to what his friend looked like. It was a snarling beast with skin resembling that of a dried date; brown and shiny. It's arm was around Zak's neck, holding him in a choke-hold. “He is mine.” It said, it's voice deep and chilling.

“No,” I said. “No he fucking isn't!”

I wrapped my arms around Zak and the demon let go as though it had burned. “A daughter of Michael...why am I not surprised?”

“In the name of my father leave this place!” I demanded.

“Brave like your father...” It said. “Unfortunately you're as foolish as he is as well. Watch your back daughter of Michael for I am not the only one in this world and my brethren aren't as friendly as I...” Friendly. My. Ass.

“IN THE NAME OF MY FATHER LEAVE THIS PLACE YOU COCKAROACH LOOKING SHIT!” I demanded once more...this time he listened.

With the demon gone I pulled back. “It's gone.”

Zak nodded. “Which one was it?”

“I think it was one of the pests you picked up at Bobby Mackey's.” I explained helping him to his bed.

“I thought we got rid of all of them?” he asked.

“Yeah well it seems this conniving little fucker did a good job of hiding during the clean up,”  I said. “You gonna be okay?”

“I think so,” he said. “But I'd still feel better if you stayed...if that's alright.”

“You don't even have to ask,” I said rubbing his back with my hand. “Jesus,” I gasped. “You're burning up!”

“I just had a hot shower...the tap might have been busted 'cause shit was that water scalding.” I rolled my eyes.

“It didn't burn you too bad did it?” I asked. He shrugged. “Alright off with the shirt.” He arched an eyebrow at me. “Not like that...I just wanna check for burns.”

He pulled off his t-shirt and tossed it aside. I crawled behind him on the bed and inspected his back. His skin was smooth, without so much as a scar. Even the tattoo on top was left unscathed. I leaned in and brought my lips to it. “You're good,” I said.

He turned around and our faces were suddenly closer than they've ever been. “Z-Zak?”

He said nothing...just leaned in and brought his lips to mine. So far in this brief life I've had four unforgettable nights.

The first was when I first met my dad when I was five. The second was when I found out what I was when I was thirteen...I felt at peace knowing everything I'd experienced finally made sense. The third was when I used my power to help the spirit of my best friend move on after a drunken asshole took her life. The fourth was the first time I went to Zak's house and gave him answers about the entities there.

And now...I was experiencing my fifth.

After a while Zak and I leaned back on the bed. His pants wound up joining his shirt, and eventually my clothes followed. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight as he pushed into me. I gasped. Like the rest of him, his length was pretty... thick.

I whimpered as he moved inside me. Our skin slapped together and he grunted with almost every thrust. I don't know how much time had passed but eventually I tightened around him, my toes curling up. “ZAAAK!!!” I moaned as my whole body tensed up.

Zak thrust a few more time, each time becoming more sloppy. “FUCK!” He groaned as he filled me up. He collapsed beside me and eventually sleep overcame us.

“I love you,” I whispered just before I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up needing very badly to pee. I tiptoed to the bathroom (not wanting to wake Zak) and relieved myself. When I got back Zak was sitting up with a confused look on his face.

“Zak?” I said sitting back down next to him.

He looked at me and tightened the blanket around his hips. “Y/N? WHAT THE FUCK?”

“What? What's wrong?”

“What's wrong? Are you fucking serious?” he said freaking out. “You're naked! FUCK, I'M NAKED! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!”

“Y-You mean you don't remember?” I said suddenly feeling uneasy.

“I remember coming back to the room after the investigation. I-I remember the inhumanly hot shower...then I saw this..this thing...next thing I know I'm waking up naked and raw.” My unease grew.

“I-I don't under...” I suddenly saw a dark, leathery skinned figure standing beside Zak's side of the bed. It had a sickening smirk on it's face.

“My brother was right, daughter of Michael,” it snarled. “You really are foolish.”

Realization hit me like a truck.

“SON OF A-!”

[the-fiction-witch]

Blind Date p1

REAL LIFE

COUPLE TBS X READER

RATING ADORABLE AF

I sat with my friend luke as we had some coffee outside of a local london cafe. 

"How's things with you and arthur?' I asked before having a sip of my tea

"Great got the ticket confirmations for our trip to south korea" he smiled

"Awesome" I laughed

"You have got to get back on the dating game"

"Eh, I like dating I just don't like the apps and stuff you know, tinder is just people looking for sex I want something more then two shags and another blocked number" I sighed 

"You know I had this exact conversation with someone earlier" he laughs 

"Luke I am not going out with Mikey so his parents think he's straight we've been over this" 

"Not Mikey,"

"Who then?"

"A mate of mine, little older then you, into motorbikes, fits your aesthetic-"

"I don't need a boyfriend who fits my aesthetic"

"Don't you?"

"Shut up"

"And I was having this exact conversation with him this morning, he hates the Apps and wants to meet some nice girly for more then a fling"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, trust me dudes a boarded line technophobe" he says "I had to go over and show him why he kept getting instagram notifications"

Which made me giggle 

"You see, how about I see what he's doing and arrange you two a little blind date?"

"I guess so Luke" I shrug 

I sat at my vanity in my tights, bra and underwear, slowly taking my hair out each curler and brushing it down a little so the curls where not quiet so intense doing my make up nothing too heavy as it is first date and a blind date at that. Once I was done I got up and forced my heels onto my feet already hating it when my phone went off 

Luke: hey hun, your date just left and is on his way to the restaurant have fun you too ;) 

I slipped my dress on and packed my handbag slipping my Jacket over my shoulder, 

Y/n: okay tell him I'm on my way, how will I know him?

I locked up my house and headed down the driveway as my phone went off again 

Luke : he says he's waiting outside with a cigarette and a present for you

I was worried but I kept walking down the dark, half broken London streets, all I had to light my way was the street lamps and my phone as I followed the maps to the restaurant, the clicking of my heels against the pavement, the sounds of cars and buses rushing by, why did I wear these shoes? I hate these shoes. Why did I walk? Why didn't I just get a taxi? Ughh I am so having a large red wine when I get there. I saw I was just down the street from the place so I put my phone away and checked my make up and reflection in the window of a closed shop. I was all good so I took a breath a walked up to the restaurant initial I panicked as I didn't see anyone, but I saw a little down the street where some chairs and tables sat for the restaurant during the day, it had a black metal fence to seperate it from the rest of the pavement, a man stood there.

He was taller then me, if I had to guess from here he wasn't six feet but high fives atleast but I think the shoes helped. He had black dress shoes, a black pair of suit pants with something in his pocket, a tight leather belt a black button down tucked into the pants with a slight patten I wasn't sure what of in it, he had a black slightly trench coat like jacket over him a ciggertte in his hand, watch on his wrist, he looked nervous in his face even if he still looked attractive, his hair fixed to one side alot clearly still a little wet from where he had washed it. He was the only one around so I went closer catching his attention away from the ciggertte in his fingers, his eyes glanced to me looking me up and down quickly taking in alot of me much like I did to him moments ago. He put the ciggertte out on the metal fence and smiled 

"Y/n? By any chance?"

"Yeah" I nodded 

"Ahh great, I was getting worried" he says 

"Yeah I uhh I walked" I smiled "sorry luke didn't"

"Oh, Thomas" he smiled offering his hand 

"Lovely to meet you" I smiled taking it he gave my hand a gentle kiss 

"Lovely to meet you too, he uh he didn't say you'd be so beautiful" 

"Ohh well thank you very much" I blushed "he didn't say how handsome you where"

"Your sweet, ohh uhh I got you something" he smiled moving his hands to his pocket "I wanted get you a real one but all the shops where closed so I thought then you can keep it longer" he smiled heading me a silk rose 

"Ohh thank you, it's beautiful" I smiled happily taking it "shall we go?"

"Well if you'd like to have dinner with me?"

"I'd love to" I smiled offering my arm, he happily linked arms with me and lead me inside he delt with the hostess and we where lead to a table that overlooked the outside garden space of the restaurant closed up at the moment for the night I went to get my chair but he stopped me 

"No, no let me" he says pulling my chair out for me

"Ohh why thank you" I giggled letting him tuck it under me and then take his own seat across the table "your very sweet" 

"First impressions you know" he smiled fiddling with his hair 

"Can I get you two started with some drinks?" The waiter asked bringing some meal menus I hadn't even looked at the drinks one on the table already but I knew what I wanted 

"I'll have a large glass of red wine please" I smiled 

"Very good madam, and for you sir?"

"Uhh I'll take a large cola, I'm driving" he answered

"Aww don't make me drink all by myself" I laughed

"Ughh alright, white wine but make it a spritzer" 

"Very good," he says before heading off 

"Sorry I shouldn't" I began

"It's okay, your right. One drink with you isn't going to hurt" he says 

"So you drive here?"

"Yeah, it was pretty far so I just drove" he shrugs "you said you walked?"

"Yeah, I thought I'd have a wine and I didn't want a taxi"

"Perhaps if we… go out again I'll have to come by and pick you up" 

"If?"

"If" he smiled "you ever been here before?" He asked as we both glanced over the food menus it was all so impressive and I had no concept what half of it even was 

"No never, have you?"

"Once but they have… changed things since I was here last"

"What sort of things?"

"The thing I liked has disappeared from the menu"

"Aww that's disappointing"

"Yeah, but hopefully that will be my only disappointment this evening" he says gently moving his hand across the table so his fingers grazed mine not looking up from the menu as he did. 

"Let's hope" I smiled gently moving my fingers against his own the waiter returned and we out in our order and he dropped off our drinks "so? How do you know luke?" I asked 

"Uh, not all that well actually." He says "I went to school with arthur"

"Ohh, yeah I like arthur"

"I kinda think it's impossible to not like arthur he's a bundle of joy and enthusiasm" 

"He is," I laughed

"How do you know luke and arthur?"

"Luke and I where neighbors growing up, he's probably my best friend" I smiled "he said you uhh don't so all apps and all"

"Ohh no not really, I keep forgetting my phone does more then just… be a phone. I'm not good at all the twitter, facebook, and that sort of thing"

"Yeah me neither" I smiled just then our food arrived "so uhh… how long have you been single? If you don't mind me asking"

"Ohh uhh," 

"It's okay, I shouldn't have asked" I said playing with my food a little

"No, not it's alright, I understand if your curious" he says "about six, seven months now. So… not to long,"

"Six months isn't that long" I said more to myself 

"Yeah I know, it was uhh a quick seperation you could say" he says "do you uhh mind if I ask?"

"A year" I answered trying to smile 

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked"

"It's okay, he ran off. Cheated on me got another girl pregnant" I said 

"Y/n. I'm so sorry" he says taking my hand 

"It's okay, I'm good" I answered smiling at him 

"I feel like I have to tell you now since you told me" he laughs

"You uhh don't have to"

"No it's okay, moved to the other end of the world, missed her family and all, and then just broke it off said she found someone down there so" he says "very much done and over"

"I'm sorry"

"It's alright, if she hadn't then I wouldn't be on this nice date with you" 

"Smooth" I laughed having some wine

"I try" he smiled "sorry I haven't even asked you what you do or anything"

I explained my job to him as simply as I could and he did likewise explaining it in that wash where you never completely say what your job title is but give and overview of what you do, the conversation moved to family and such, and we ended up just chatting about everything and nothing for a good while until we had finished eating, our plates taken away just nursing our drinks 

"I uhh I have to be honest y/n." He spoke up

Yay, here it comes the this was really fun but I'm not feeling any connection or anything

"I uhh I really like you,"

I stopped short almost choking on my drink 

"Sorry I know it sounds a little strange when we have literally been on one date but, I really like you. And I would really like a second date if… you wanted to go out with me again?"

"Yeah I'd liked that" I blushed "I'd love to go out with you again Thomas"

"Great uhh when are you next free?" He asks 

"Well I have nothing going on tomorrow night"

"Yeah me either," he says moving his hand to ghost mine a little "anywhere you wanted to go?"

"I've been dying to see that new movie everyone's been talking about" I said moving my hand closer too "but since it a horror, you'll have to promise to hold my hand if I get too scared" 

"I'll happily hold your hand, weather your scared or not" he smiled taking my hand intertwining our fingers "shall we get the bill?"

"Yeah its a long walk home" I said 

"I'll drop you off home don't worry about it" he says as he got the waiter to bring the bill 

"You sure? I don't want to be any trouble"

"I'm sure it's no trouble at all. And I'll pick you up tomorrow for the movie" he says "ooh I should probably give you my number so we don't have to talk though Luke'

"Ahh yeah good point" I said as I got my phone and we traded numbers just then the bill came so I reached for my purse

"No, no I'll get it" he says getting his wallet from his pocket

"No I can't let you pay it's not fair"

"I'm more then happy to y/n, its a date put your purse away it's on me" he says putting his card on the table 

"We split it. I insist" I said putting mine with his 

"Alright, but I'm paying for the tickets tomorrow" 

"And I'll pay for the popcorn" 

"Alright love" he smiled

[saltyhuntress]

One Shot | Dean finds you after a long time since a painful break up.

~ 1687 words

~ angsty stuff, drama

~ this is my first piece that I decided to post hence I’m being so nervous. I’m fond of angsty plots and lots of feels, so brace yourselves! Hope you enjoy it ;)

P.S. just sayin’, English is my second language so sorry for any mistakes in advance :D

“How did you know where to find me?” 

You should have known better to try to hide from a man that knew you like the back of his hand.

It didn’t feel like a good moment to start small talk. You were never good at it and you knew that Dean wasn’t either. Seeing him again was strange but also so warm and familiar. Seemed like not that long ago you two would hang out together for hours talking about stupid stuff, so careless and happy. You tried to shake those feeling rushing at you off. It was in the past. You saw signs of stubble on his face. You liked him with a stubble. But unfortunately it almost always meant that he was in a bad place.

“I never stopped looking out for you.” He said looking down at the bottom of his glass. Plain whiskey, which you never understood. He always teased you for liking girly cocktails.

“I am a girl!” You used to point laughing, but knowing that secretly he liked their taste too.

“I’m… I’m not ready to deal with this.” You stumbled halfway and covered your eyes with your palm, feeling heat rushing to your head. You felt tired as it is, pressure at work was driving you crazy. You left the office with an anticipation of a relaxing evening. But there he was, a glimpse into the past that you avoided so well until now, stood there leaning on his gorgeous car, looking awkward and uncomfortable. You froze, and only after looking longingly at you for a minute, he finally approached you. He offered a drink and you said ‘yes’. Of course you said ‘yes’. It was Dean Winchester. Your Dean.

“Deal with what?” He asked raising his eyes to you, knowing exactly how you felt right now. Pretty much the way he did. Crappy.

“You.” You said shortly and pressed your lips together before you said anything else. You felt like you could say a lot of things to him right now, but felt that it was too early. He looked hurt by that one word already and you hated to be the one to hurt him. “I thought we decided…”

“You, Y/N. You decided.” He cut you off, his brows coming down over his eyes, making him look angry, even threatening. “I listened. That was it.”

“Then why didn’t say anything?” Your voice faltered for a moment as you tried to hold back all the anger and frustration. Sadness and tears.

“It looked like you already made up your mind. And nothing That would say or do would change that.” He downed the whiskey and put an empty glass back on the table with a thump.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Dean.” You sighed softly. You remembered when he started behaving like this. Something bad had really happened. “I would’ve listened, if you had anything to say.”

He scoffed and looked sceptically at you, but both of you knew that that was true. He was over his head with confusion and rage that day, so he didn’t say anything, because he was afraid we would hurt you. He didn’t realize that being silent did a pretty good job at that too.

“But it’s too late now, isn’t it?” He mumbled, turning the glass on the table. He thought about getting another one. A double. 

“It is.” You murmured. “So why are you here?”

“I can’t visit an old friend?”

“I’m not just a friend. You made it almost a year without contacting me, Dean. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You saw that something was bothering him. And despite the fact that he came all the way here to you meant, that he wanted to talk about it and was just having second thoughts now. You didn’t like to have to pull the words out of him. 

“Then why are you here?!” You exclaimed anger spilling over the edge and heat rushing to your eyes, your heart trembling. You sat there vulnerable near him again, feeling everything that you worked so hard to bury come right back. You didn’t realize that Dean felt the same way but did a better job at hiding it. You waited for him to find any words, but he was quiet. So you took the initiative once again. “You’re upset. I get it. I would be too, if I were you. But don’t think that this whole thing didn’t hurt me too.”

“Oh, did it?” He taunted, with a grin. “Didn’t seem too upset.”

You clenched your jaw as he stared at you, challenging, but you didn’t say a word. You didn’t have anything to say, nothing that he wanted to hear at least. And you sure as hell wasn’t going to give him an apology, since he refused to accept the last time. 

He was silent, still nervously turning the glass on the table. It almost seemed he forgot you were here at all, when in reality he was just lost and confused. A lot has happened since you left, a lot of bad, but he felt reluctant to just dumo all of it on you, even though he knew you would listen and maybe even comfort him. You used to read each other so easily, but time was taking it away from you. One thing was true: both of you desperately wanted to spend at least a couple of hours together, but not like this. Not reminiscing your worst mistakes.

You sighed heavily and started moving to the side of the booth. eager to get out of here. “Goodbye, Dean.” You uttered “For what it’s worth, it was nice seeing you again.” As you started to get up, you got startled by a sudden grip on your wrist. You turned to see Dean looking at you. Really looking at you. All of his sadness and resentment on his face. Honest. That was what really stopped you.

“I just want to know why.” He said trying to stay strong, even cold, but failed. He pulled you back into the booth gently and you gave in. “You said you couldn’t take it anymore. What was the ‘it’?”

You remembered that night. Pained to have to go through this again, you visited your memory lane. A crappy motel, Impala, Sam and Dean. It was a normal hunt until it wasn’t. Until you held Dean’s dead body in your arms because he plunged that niddle into his chest to stop his heart. That was the last straw.

“The life.” You finally started talking under his awaiting gaze. “Maybe at first it was exciting. Killing monsters and saving people, it sounds awesome, but in reality… I got to see the people that I love get hurt. I lost people too. And every single hunt that we went on I was thinking to myself that that could be it. The last one. I was terrified.”

“I still don’t get it.” He interrupted. “You got hurt too. You ran into the fire, you risked your life too, so what’s the difference?”

You chuckled softly at the thought that you had probably sewn up more wounds than you’d ever sewn buttons. For a second there you thought there wasn’t a difference. That you were a hunter to your very core, but then you wouldn’t be here. You’d still be with them.

“The difference was that I wanted out, Dean. I saw the end to the job. I don’t mean a world without monsters, no, monsters are always going to be out there, but an end for me. Something you could never see. I had dreams of a normal life. You don’t. I know Sam doesn’t, not anymore. So… Imagine feeling the way I did and knowing that all of this would never stop. I couldn’t take it anymore.” He tried to cut you off again, but you never let him. You were on a roll and felt that if you didn’t tell him all of this now, there wouldn’t be a chance to do that again. You leaned in and covered his hands with your, as you looked in his suddenly big sad eyes. “I admire what you and Sam so. And I know I can’t be the reason for you to stop, nor can I deprive the world of its heroes too early. But until you hesitate for the first time to stick a needle with poison in you whether it’s for Sam or a ghost, I can’t… I care too much about you. And…” You paced yourself, squeezing his hands. “I can’t love someone who hates himself so much he doesn’t think he deserves to live.”

His body tensed, lips straightened in a thin line, feeling your words cutting way deeper than he expected. Probably because they were true, as much as he’d want to be offended by them than so profoundly hurt. And even though it was painful, he couldn’t let go of you. He couldn’t know for sure but it felt like it was the last time. Last look, last touch, last words. He wanted to prolong it for as long as he could.

“You do, Dean. Out of all people, you deserve to live. But you need to understand that yourself.” You forced a smile, seeing that he didn’t believe you. When did he ever though? You got up from your seat and walked over to his side. He raised his head following you. “When you and Sam finally get that it’s not your duty to die for the world, you can find me.”

You leaned in, a little nervous of what your were about to do, but also wanting it so much. Your lips gently touched his for a short moment, sending electricity and warmth down your spine. And as you pulled away with a growing smile on your lips, you caught a glimpse of one on his face too as he tried to hide it. Both of you didn’t know what was coming next, but somehow you felt that you would still see him somewhere down the road. Maybe one of those would stick. Or so you hoped.

[detroitbydark]

Crossed Connections

Tech x Togruta!Reader

No warnings yet

Summary: Tech discovers that the net is a very small place and that he doesn’t know everything.

A/N: So this is based off the assumption that a galaxy far far away has their own form of internet dating. It’s crack. id love to write for these two in the future but It’ll likely just be scenes and things I find fun as me and fully functioning works of fiction just don’t mesh well.

This should be the calm before the storm, the time of preparation and meditation before the next mission. For most of the Bad Batch it is.  

Crosshair, feet propped on the ships console dismantles and reassembles his sidearm before moving on the more formidable sniper rifle.Tech sighs loudly as his fingers dance over the datapad in his hand. He’s been doing it since they jumped to light speed. Usually he’d be rattling off a steady stream of facts on the planet they were heading to, its inhabitants, dangers, precautions needing to be taken. Now he was silent and that was not the clones default.

“Alright, I’ll bite '' Crosshair grumbles from the co-pilots seat. Tech looks up, shrugs and then sets the pad down, relieved his brother had finally taken the bait. The sniper continues to slowly work the oiled rag over his rifle.

“It’s nothing…”

“You're a fragging awful liar” 

Crosshair didn’t care. Really. But...of all his vods he was least annoyed by the team's resident engineer/translator/tech genius. So, here he was, digging at the other clone in an attempt to get him to talk.

“It’s her-“

“Wait” Crosshair sets the rag and rifle down on his lap. His eyes narrow. “You mean to tell me you're still messing with that GalaxyMance stuff?”

Tech runs a hand over his closely cropped hair rubs roughly as the partial hawk. “Yeah, maybe… yeah.” He admits, avoiding the snipers focused stare.

“And you’re still hung up on that anonymous nerfherder.”

“She’s not a...” Tech defends trailing off as he narrows his eyes. Rutababy was not a nerfherder. 

He was sure of it. 

Yeah, pretty sure. 

Mostly sure.

 He was trying to play it cool, choosing not to do the digging he was more than capable of. He’d matched with Rutababy a few days after he’d set up the (very much against regulation) GalaxyMance account for fun. He’d just wanted to see if he could do it. If he could stay ahead of the brains at the GAR. 

It was boredom, really. He wanted to play with routing his activity and bouncing his signals through different channels. It was just supposed to be a bit of a challenge. 

And then he’d gotten a match. 

He didn’t even have a profile picture up, for kriffs sake, just a picture of a scrawny Loth Cat he’d pulled from the Holonet. Apparently she liked Loth Cats.

 They’d been sending messages back and forth since, he’d even talked to her over comms once. Her voice had been soft and smokey. She’d apologized and said it was often like that after work, that she talked so much at her job that she often found herself borderline hoarse afterwards. 

She’d been a good listener. When he rattled on and on she seemed to even like it, asking questions that only fueled his descent into random, obscure subjects more.

 Of course, some things they didn’t talk about. She didn’t know he was a member of the GAR and she sure didn’t know he was a clone. She didn’t press him for more than he’d give and he respected that about her and didn't press her for more either. 

Tech huffs. 

She was definitely not a nerfherder.

 He picks his datapad back up and refreshes the screen. Still nothing from her. This was the longest he’d gone without hearing from her since they’d matched weeks ago. He wondered if she was-

Crosshair barks out a laugh that startles the younger clone from his thoughts.

 “Yeah, Tech-vod, I’m sure she’s not”  the sniper quips out the entirely unoriginal profile name his vod had chosen. Tech seems to relax and Crosshair smirks as he goes in for the kill, “she’s probably Trandoshan. You like lizards right?”

Hunter steps onto the bridge and it’s only because of his heightened senses that he barely misses the screwdriver flying toward his head as he steps between his men. It’s snatched out of the air, his face slowly turning toward Crosshair. The sniper gives him a lazy grin. 

“Good timing Sarge”

Hunter’s eyes trail back to Tech. He looks flustered. His skin was paler than most clones, including the rest of the Bad Batch, and it only accentuated his reddened cheeks more. It was an uncommon sight for, arguably, the most level headed of the small unit. An eyebrow arches above heavy tattoos.

“I’m fine Sarge.” Tech tries to explain.

“His girly friend is ghosting him”

“SHE'S NOT-“

“Enough!” Hunter's voice is sharp. “You’re excused” he growls over his shoulder toward the sniper.

Tech can hear Crosshair grumbling as he gathers his rifle and supplies.

“...ruining all my fun”

Hunter waits til the soft whoosh of the bridge door before he says anything.

“You know nothing good can come of that” he points to the datapad. The usual growl of his voice tempered. “We’re different Tech, but we’re still clones and clones don’t get happy endings”

Tech’s jaw tenses as he nods, “there’s nothing wrong with pretending, Sarge”

Hunter nods, “is that what you're doing? Pretending to be excited when you get the new notifications? Pretending to walk on air after you talked to her? Was it pretending when you let Cross gaude you into chucking a wrench at him?”

“It was a screwdriver” Tech corrects, petulant with arms crossed tightly over his armor.

“Yeah, ok, you know best, don’t you? Smartest of all of us. Incapable of making a bad decision.”

Tech feels something akin the shame twist in his belly. Hunter was just trying to look out for him. He wasn’t poking like Crosshair, he wasn’t out right laughing like Wrecker had done.

“I hear what you’re saying.”

Hunter looks less than impressed, “Yeah? We’ll see”

------

You're running late.

Again.

You hurriedly button your shirt as you skitter around the corner, your badge swiping you through locked doors as you go. The laces of your left boot flop against the duracrete.

It was the third time this week and your CO was going to have your head. You push through the medbay door just in time to see your CMO, Slash, a serious looking clone with a permanent twist to his mouth, begin the morning meeting. Your jaw slams shut, incisors clicking together as you find a chair at the back of the assembled group. You ignore the looks that get flicked your way.

“So, we’ve got some new assignments coming our way.” He begins, his gaze traces over you and you cringe when he raises a brow in your direction. You mouth ‘sorry’ and hear the scoffs and smothered giggles of a few of the other civvie medics. Slash doesn’t waste another look your way and you feel insanely lucky that he must be feeling lenient this morning. You couldn’t handle another dressing down like you had received a few days ago.

 You were a good medic. A damn good one but, by the force, the rest of your life was a mess. You’d always felt that leaving Kiros was the right choice but the loneliness you felt had only become more acute during your time in Coruscant. Where you’d once stood out too much amongst your tribe, you seemed to not stand out enough amongst the swell of people and species. Togruta were not wild about individualism and you stood out just enough to be off putting. 

On Coruscant, your pale pink skin and montrails did very little to make you stand out in the hustle and bustle of daily life at all. It was hard for you to make friends, hard for you to connect. It was the same problems from Kiros all over again. It was you, not them.

It’s why you’d bit the blaster and signed up for GalaxyMance. It felt silly and ridiculous, but you were desperate to feel a connection to somebody, anybody. You’d been on a few dates too but nothing ever panned out. Some of them had loved your “exotic look” while others had taken one look and decided they’d pass. No one tried to get to know you. 

Until Tech-vod.

You’d clicked on his profile after an awful day in the bay because of the silly Loth kitten he’d chosen as an avatar. Without much thought you read through his profile and sent off a cursory introduction and then thought nothing of it until he’d sent you a message back a few days later. It was funny, less of an introduction than a vomiting if facts on the Loth cats. It was cute. You’d never seen him but you were sure he was too. Pretty sure…

“Y/N”

You startle as CMO Slash barks your name.

“Sir?” You greet. Someone to your left snickers. Slash pinches the bridge of his nose.

“You’ve missed everything I’ve said, haven’t you?”

You don’t respond. You both know the answer and there’s no use lying. Your hand strays to one of the lekku hanging over your shoulder, fingers toys with it the way you’d done since you were a child, a tell to your parents about the state of your nerves. 

“You’re being reassigned off world” 

His words catch you by surprise. Your jaw gaps but nothing comes out. Sure you’d been late a few times and, yeah, maybe you hadn’t clicked with your team so well, but reassignment?

“Sir, I-“

He holds his hand up, “it’s not for discussion. This comes from higher than the likes of me. Transport leaves at 1600.”

You swallow hard, “where too?”

“Fort Anaxes.”

[trashmancan47]

Um.. Here.

{This is what he be wearing, but the shorts aren’t see through!!} {I know it’s girly that’s the point shush!}

{Logan, and Virgil} {Warning!! It may be a little suggestive-}

[Virgil likes, and practices pole dancing, When it is late, and the other four men he shares a home with should be asleep, Virgil likes to practice his pole dancing skills, while doing so he likes to wear something that shows some skin, show off his curves. He used to hate his female form, but now he accepts it. None of the others know, and he keeps the pole hidden by a curtain that he says is just decoration in a part of his room he doesn’t use. If any of them found out, he wasn’t sure what he would do, I mean, he loved to do it, of course never would he for a job or for strangers, he would never, his anxiety would never let him either way. He just did it because it was something he enjoyed and was honestly where his muscle came from, even if it never showed, he had it. He found it fun to be able to move the way he could up there, to hang upside down, and spin around, feeling the little bit of air, feeling the thrill of doing a fast move, twirling around the pole. Virgil had been practicing for years now and was rather good at it, and it didn’t bother him that no one else knew or got to see it, he enjoyed this for himself if the others found out.. He didn’t want them to make fun of him for it. Now Virgil had learned a couple of other things as well, like lap dancing, and moves on an actual stage, and the only reason he had for wanting to learn those was his imagination. He had imagined doing this for only one person, and really was ashamed of it, knowing the other would most likely not ever even want to come in contact with him if he found out. The smartest one there, probably the most understanding, while able to be truthful, and calm him so much easier than anyone. Logan, Logan Warren. Virgil felt embarrassed even thinking about it, but he couldn’t help himself sometimes, especially when he looked in the mirror with what he wore, wondering if Logan would like it if he’d ever even like Virgil. Virgil had a sliver of hope that the other did like him, even in the slightest, or even if he didn’t, and had caught him, that he would understand why he enjoyed this and would respect that, not saying anything to the others, and let Virgil do his own thing like he had been all these years. Virgil sat on his bed at the moment, him staring at the blank sketchbook page open in his lap, his knees pulled up to his chest, and his black headphones on his head, listening to a song him, and Logan listened to together when they would have small conversations, or would sit next to one another Logan doing a puzzle, and Virgil drawing, or writing. He put the pencil he was chewing on down on his stand on top of the now-closed sketchbook, and stood, unplugging his headphones, and checking the time once more just in case. He connected his phone to the speaker, and put it on low, starting to play some of the music that he normally danced too. He went to his dresser, shrugging his jacket off, foot, and head moving to the beat as he discarded his shirt, and his pants. He then pulled out his little lingerie wear, and put it on, Wearing a black Thong as well to hid his parts. People find it weird, but with his feminine figure it looked about normal all, but his actual part. He smiled as he looked at himself in the mirror, and blushed a little as he wondered if Logan would like it? He sighed, and shook his head, moving to the curtain that hid the pole. He moved the curtain, and smiled at the pole, approaching it, and put his hand on it, spinning himself around before actually positioning himself to put his legs on the pole, and pulling himself up, his legs holding on, and one arm as he spun down a little, using his other hand to pull his body up the pole before he hit the ground. He did so, and twirled a little more, smiling as he did so, starting to dance to the beat best he could. He hadn’t even seen, or heard the door open, and close. Logan had been in his room, having a question for the darker themed male in their house, he hadn’t been able to sleep as he kept thinking. When he said ‘question’ it was more of a statement. He had for a while been in much confusion when with the other, his heart picking up its pace when Virgil would laugh, or compliment Logan, when he would talk to him when he would just engage in small contact. He had finally figured out why, and accepted that he had formed what people called a ‘crush’ on the other. He had even talked to Roman about it, and even he said that it seemed he had caught feelings for the smaller male. Logan had been pacing for about an hour, and was still awake, looking at the time, he was sure Virgil was still awake, he normally stayed up, though Logan never knew why. He took a breath, wanting to get the rejection over with, he opened his door, and left, heading to the others room. As he approached the door that was decorated with a web, and a black warning sign that had a slime design on it. The door painted purple, with a cute little ghost around the handle, he heard soft music playing. He had knocked softly. Nothing. Another series of knocks, and still.. Nothing. Logan sighed, and he didn’t know why, but he opened the door carefully speaking up. “I’m coming in.” He entered the room, and closed the door before he looked, his eyes widening a little as he saw Virgil spinning on the pole. He stayed quiet as the other had not seen him yet, and even then he had no idea what to do. He was struck by the move, and the skill that the other had, he must have had a lot of practice, because these moves he was now doing weren’t easy. Logan watched taking it in, seeing how he looked so happy, and was doing this so gracefully., it interested him, and yet he found himself blushing as to his attire. He looked over the other biting his tongue as his eyes glossed over his figure, and the ending position he was doing. Virgil arching his back, and having his body pushed out legs crossed, on his toes, and his head back, his eyes closed. As Virgil's eyes opened, and the song ended, he pulled himself up to stand straight up, uncrossing his legs, he jumped around as soon as he heard someone clear their throat. His eyes widened, and his face grew hot, and red seeing none other than Logan there, he didn’t say anything, or do much else than cover his face, not knowing what to say, and his brain running a million miles an hour all the sudden. Logan looked at Virgil knowing he was flustered, able to tell that he was embarrassed about being caught. He spoke quietly, but rather calm, though for once in his life, he did have a stutter. “Uh.. Virgil. T-That was an excellent performance. You are rather talented at it, a-and you l-look rav-” Logan panicked, and changed his choice of words quickly “-I mean.. You look good.” Not once in his life had he stuttered so much, and been so flustered. Virgil managed to peak an eye through his hand, his face visibly completely red, even as his hands tried to cover his face. “You t-think I look g-good?” Virgil asked quietly, and though it was almost only above a whisper Logan still heard it, and nodded, walking a little closer slowly. “I can tell you’re flustered about this, but there isn’t a need to be, I can tell that’s something you are not only good at, but you enjoy doing. You shouldn’t be ashamed to do it, you should be proud even.” Logan spoke, a small smile on his lips, and walking until he was about an arms length away from the other. Virgil’s breath were a little uneven, but as he listened to Logan he slowly took breaths so he wasn’t feeling so panicked, Logan’s voice helping. “Y-you think so? I mean.. I’ve practiced for a while.. But I mean.. It can’t be that good.” Logan gave a nod, and kept the smile adjusting his glasses. “You were honestly doing as good as most people who do this for a job, even better than some. I have done some research when Roman’s brother asked me about a certain topic, and I had to go with him to his workplace, and I have to say their performances compared to yours, well some couldn’t compare. Or maybe I’m being bias by my views.” Virgil slowly put his hands down, and moved to his shorts, playing with the bottom of them. He thought over what Logan had just said, stopping when he got to the last part, him looking up at Logan. “Wait.. What do you mean “Bias by my views”? He asked his face still red, and watched as Logan stepped closer. Now Logan has not normally been the the one to initiate anything, or be the one to reach out, but he knew he had to do this. Logan took the first move, and looked to Virgil as he reached out, and put a hand on Virgil’s waist looking at him. “Well…” He pulled him closer, he put his other hand on his side, looking up at Virgil, and seeing his face completely red as Logan gave a small smile. “I actually came here to tell you something.” Virgil was surprised, but yet, didn’t show that, his face still red, and him looking up at Logan, his heart beating fast, and him loving the closeness, and Logan's hands on him, he could melt. He put his hands on Logan’s chest, and felt his heartbeat, it was a quick pace itself. “Yeah? What is it?” Logan took a breath, and glanced away for a moment before he looked back to Virgil, and moved the hand from his side to his cheek., speaking softly, closing his eyes for a moment, though he opened them soon after. “Maybe this isn’t appropriate timing, but I was coming here to tell you that for quite some time I have noticed that when you are around, my heart rate picks up, my mind starts to run, and even just the simple of actions makes my heart feel  like it’s fluttering, whether it’s you laughing, smiling, talking, or even just being you.. I always just feel.. Happy, or.. Guh-” Logan was now flushing red a little more, and Virgil snickered, him still looking up at Logan who looked slightly embarrassed. “I love you Virgil. That’s what I’m trying to say.” Logan said it quickly, Virgil's face going to one of a slight shock, though it only took a second before he grew a big smile, and kept his hands pressed to Logan’s chest. “I.. I love you too!” Virgil watched as Logan’s smile grew as well, and didn’t move the hand from his cheek, Virgil moving his hand on top of Logans, looking up at him, moving closer. Logan caressed his cheek, and let his thumb graze his lip, wanting to feel them against his own. Virgil smiled himself, and pushed himself into Logan’s touch, him looking back at him as he started to speak. “May I.. May I kiss you Virgil?” Virgil looked at him hopeful, and nodded, running his hands up his chest to his shoulders, and wrapped loosely around his neck. Logan kept his smile, and moved his hand back down to his waist, slowly moving in, and closing his eyes, Virgil doing the same. Once their lips connected Logan pulled Virgil the rest of the way to him, and wrapped his arms completely around his waist, Virgil pushing into the kiss more as their lips moved against the other. Virgil was lost in the kiss by now, melting more, and sming into it for a second, he moved a hand to the back of his hair, entangling in Logan’s hair, and took in the moment as much as he could, enjoying finally being able to share this experience with him, thinking how he could have gotten so lucky somehow. Logan didn’t think once in his life would he find someone that he’d love this much let alone them love him too, it seemed impossible, but he was proved to be wrong, and he couldn’t have been happier about it. The kiss finally broke after almost a whole minute, neither wanting to, but they both knew that wouldn’t be the last kiss shared, They kept their foreheads together, Virgil kept his eyes closed while Logan opened his, and moved to kiss his forehead before moving back to their previous. “I love you so much Virgil.” Logan closed his eyes again. “I really do…” ~~Ya’ know what- about halfway, I forgot how to function. So this probably sucked, but either way here it is, and I hope you enjoy your day, and remember that you are amazing!!! ♡＾▽＾♡ You are so important, don’t forget that!!!~~

[feelthepainofdodick]

Love For Hire - Ch. 3 - (D.D. x Reader)

Summary: David hires you to be his fake girlfriend for a month to get the diza stans off his back. This experience is the craziest thing that has ever happened to you and the emotional consequences that ensue are something you never expected.

Notes: I know Carly and Bruce just broke up but I just basically finished editing as they announced so if yall don’t wanna read and just wallow I understand but the next chapter of Love For Hire is here for yall when yall are ready. Also! Thank you to the people sending in requests! its so exciting. Thank you all truly. Im going to start writing them asap. Should be up by tonight or tomorrow. One last thing, this series truly is a slow burn. I have a million ideas for this series so there will be a lot of chapters. Hope yall love a good slow burn because that is exactly what this is. Much love, Julie

Word Count: 1775

CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER TWO

“DDDDAAAVVVIDDDDDDDD!” You hear someone yell from inside the house as Natalie opens the glass door to their home. You follow behind them as they walk in taking off their shoes, you do the same. 

This tall, multi-hair colored man hugged David and looked in my direction. He let go of David and said with a grin, “Well, David who did you bring home?” Looking at me from top to bottom. He walked over to me and gave me a big bear hug. “Hi. I’m Zane.” You struggled to breathe as the hug was very tight. David hit him on the side making him let go of you. “Don’t suffocate her dumbass.” He says to Zane, making him let go. “This is (Y/N).” 

“And how come I’ve never met (Y/N), David.” He glared at David while putting his arm around your shoulder walking over to the living room where other people you didn’t know were sitting.

“Because I just met her about thirty minutes ago.” He said as we all sat on the couch. You are now sitting in between Zane and this boy with blonde hair and many tattoos. 

“Ummm? What? Who are you (Y/N)?” Zane says with his full attention now on me.

“Well… I’m (Y/N) and I’ve been hired to be David’s fake girlfriend for a month.” You say casually. Multiple gasps come from people you have yet to meet but Zane just starts laughing. So hard that it makes the others start laughing.

When he finally stops, he looks over at David. “Couldn’t get a girl to date you so you had to hire one, huh?” He says beginning to laugh again.

David looks around, cheeks flushed, “you know I’m not looking to date anyone Zane. You all know how hard its been to be Liza’s ex boyfriend. I have a lot of press coming up within the next month so I’m giving everyone a distraction. (Y/N) is everyone’s distraction.” He says gesturing towards you like a shiny toy. The rest of the group nods in understanding.

The rest of the night is filled with music, jokes, meeting everyone, and many cameras. You were able to introduce yourself properly to the rest of the people there. You met Matt, Heath, Scott, and Joe. They were all extremely nice and took to you as a little sister type. They all felt so comfortable and homey. You then met the girls there; Carly, Erin, and Corinna. You instantly clicked with them. They were a perfect mix of funny, girly, down to earth, but also had a slight edge to them that made them not feel like superficial girls. It was a little surreal hanging out with the vlog squad after doing so much research on them in the plane but you just clicked with them just like you hoped you would.

Slowly one by one people started leaving David’s house to go home. First Corinna, to go stream. Heath next to go back to his girlfriend Mariah. Carly and Erin next to go to their respective apartments and boyfriends. Then Scott and Joe to also go back to their homes and girlfriends. Then lastly, Zane and Matt to go back to the house they shared. When everyone was gone, Natalie showed you to your room, when you did some light unpacking, you went out to the living room to find David on his computer and Natalie lying on the couch scrolling through her phone. You casually sit on the love sac across from them. “So are you guys ready to talk details?” You say trying not to be too forward but wanting to know details because this was, in fact, your job.

Natalie looks over to David and nods. Natalie sits up. “So, the main objective we were hoping to accomplish with hiring you is to distract people from David’s ex relationship for press. Do you know about David and his youtube?” She questions.

You nod. “I did my research during the flight, I have a general idea of who you all are.”

“Okay great! I’m sure you’ll learn smaller things to make the fake relationship more believable as you continue hanging out with us. So we need you to be a subtle affectionate kind of girlfriend. We do have cameras on nearly all the time. So just hang out with David as if you two are best friends and throw in some touches, some kisses on the cheek, overall general closeness. You’ll attend any events he has to do, but we all attend them so it’s not just you alone. You will have to act the part of a lot of the time. How does that sound? Am I scaring you?” She asks concerned.

“No! No no. I’m fine. Just a lot of information at once. I just want to make sure its not weird. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable David.” You said now looking over to David who was still looking at his laptop. “Because I’m completely willing to act the part but obviously we are not actually dating and I don’t want things to be weird.” David is now looking at you. He sighs, pushes his laptop over to the side, and sits closer to Natalie to face you. 

“I don’t think it’ll be weird. I think the only thing I’m hesitant about is that I just don’t know you. I want to know you so I can act normal around you, so I can act like a fake boyfriend. The fans know when I’m doing anything off. They can smell lies through the screen. But if we are actually friends then I think we can fool them, especially since they don’t know you so they haven’t learned to tell when you’re lying.” He smiles softly.

You smile back. “Well I’m an open book! Either of you can ask me anything that will make you feel more comfortable with me.”

David and Natalie look at each other then back at me. “Why are you an escort?” David asks nervously.

You smile solemnly at them. “I’m broke, is the short answer. I went to college for marketing but couldn’t get any job after it. I would apply to every PR firm in Boston and the state but nothing ever happened. I didn’t have the connections I should of made in college. My dad died during my junior year so I was super withdrawn during the prime time for internships and networking. When I finally graduated, I was jobless and homeless. I couch surfed for a while and that’s when I started escorting. I was objectively pretty and I needed money. It was definitely dark at first because I was so desperate for money that I did every job I was offered. When I finally got enough money, I got a tiny studio in Boston, was able to get a shitty deli job, and survive off only doing not sketchy escort gigs every once in a while. This escort job gives me the time to apply and try and catch up on the things I missed out on to further my career. So here I am, pretending to be your fake girlfriend for a job but also the whole social media thing intrigued me. Thought it could help me learn from experience about PR and stuff. Just thought I’d be up front about that.” You finally finish, sighing a long sigh, and looking over their faces. You could tell they were sympathetic but there was no pity in their eyes. You were grateful. “Oh god, enough about my sob story. The real question is, are there actually ghosts that love only Natalie in this house? Because I think that may be a deal breaker.” You say sarcastically.

They both laugh. Natalie nudges you lightly. “You really did do your research.”

The rest of the night is spent getting to know each other. You learn all about them. How they grew up together. David’s start in the social media space. Natalie moving to LA to be his assistant. The empire he has built for himself. In turn they ask you all about yourself. Living in Boston, your family, college, high school, ex boyfriends, your best friend, and your opinions on the most random stuff. That’s definitely something you and David connected on, going on random tangents about the wonders of the universe. You didn’t think anyone else thought like that but here he was. 

It was nearing 3AM and you all needed sleep. They told you they had some plans to film at a friend's house the next day. You left the living room, into your room, excited for the next day. You felt connected to Natalie, David, and even the other vlog squad members in a way you couldn’t explain. It felt like you connected a puzzle piece correctly to the puzzle that is your life. It has been a long time since you felt that way. You drifted off to sleep with a smile on your face.

You woke up to no alarm, just the sound of chatter in the living room. You woke up and got ready for the day. As you walked into the living room you see Natalie talking on the phone, you wave, and make your way over to the kitchen. As you look through the fridge Natalie walks up behind you and says, “Hey, don’t worry about breakfast. I just postmated a bunch off breakfast stuff from IHOP.” You smile, going over to sit at the kitchen island, “sounds great, thank you Nat.”

When the postmates comes in and it set up on the kitchen island is when David decides to come out of his bedroom to eat everything. It’s nice and comfortable eating with them. Some light witty banter, lots of shoving food into mouths by David, and just pure ease as you all eat. The second we finish eating, David wipes his mouth with his sleeve, and says, “Okay! You ready to go” Looking at both Natalie and you. Slightly startled you just nod and within seconds you are in his Tesla riding somewhere. His camera settled in the car so all three of you are shown. You came to the conclusion last night that if a camera was on and near you that you had to play the part. This was your first go, and you were ready to embrace this job for what it was, so you looked at David and smiled sweetly with a look of love for the camera to see. This was the official first day of being David Dobrik’s real fake girlfriend.

-

Tags: If you want to be tagged let me know... @duh-dobrik @live-awkward @roxyedobrik @duhdobrik 

[reefartandwriting]

BAD BET

Lapidot human/ghost AU for lapidot AU week. Yes I know I'm like 2 days late SHHHHH

Peridot couldn't believe she had actually agreed to this.

She looked up at the large, dark house. She'd never even thought of it too much till now, but it sent shivers up her spine. There were stories, most likely, but she hadn't cared about it. Why would she? It didn't involve her.

But of course she had agreed, on a bet, to go inside. She had to stay till midnight, and if she didn't come crawling out like a baby, or die, she would get 50 bucks.

She didn't dare glance back at the group of people she had started to call "friends". She doubted she'd still call them that after this. It wasn't like it would be that much of a loss anyway. The group had only talked to her for a few days, and she had the preference to be alone.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before hopping the squeaky fence and walking confidently up the front path. For show, of course. She peeked in the window, feeling her heart sink when she saw nothing but darkness.

"C'MON NERD, JUST FIND A WAY IN ALREADY!" She winced at the loud voice of the ringleader, Lars.

However she didn't want to seem like a wuss, so she faked a smirk and turned. "At least I'm over the FENCE. bet you don't even have the guts to touch it."

Lars narrowed his eyes, and pushed his skateboard into one of the others arms. "I'm not a wimp. I'll even come in with you. But this is your bet, shortstack." He ran and hopped the fence, walking up as peridot moved to try the door. It was stiff, but peridot tightened her grip and grunted, turning it roughly as the door swung open, causing the blonde to fall on the floor just inside.

Lars laughed, stepping over me and putting his hands on his hips as he looked around. "Pff. This is lame. Nothing in here but old torn up furniture. He looked back down at peridot, getting up and dusting herself off while coughing.

"Have fun being in here till midnight." He smirked, turning and walking back to the door. But before he even took a step it slammed closed, making peridot jump up. Lars stumbled back in shock, then moved to the door again, gripping the handle. "Very funny, buck. I'm so gonna get you back!" He attempted to turn the knob, but it wouldn't budge, and he laughed nervously. "C'mon guys! This isn't my bet. Let me out!" He struggled more with the door.

Peridot watched, but felt a shiver and turned, breathing a bit heavier and looking around. "Uh... lars?" She turned around nervously, but the redhead was still struggling with the door, grunting. She swear there were tears in his eyes, and as much as she wanted to laugh, she was too scared to focus on it.

She turned again, walking a bit further into the house, surprised about how clean it was. But the eerie silence made it uncomfortable. She found herself shaking, and glanced back at Lars, who was now beside her, wiping tears away. "What now nerd? This is YOUR bet..."

The blonde gave him a strange look, but faced forward, looking around and then to the stairs. "I don't really think we should be here. I just want the fifty bucks. I'm just gonna stay here." She moved and sat just in front of the fireplace, while the older teen scoffed.

"Boring. I'm gonna go upstairs. There's bound to be something interesting to do. Maybe a few pots to smash..." he marched up the stairs as peridot rolled her eyes. She loosely hugged her knees, closing her eyes and trying to stay calm.

However it was hard when a girly scream came from upstairs, and Lars suddenly half fell, half rolled down the stairs, somehow landing on his feet and rushing to the door yelling. "GUYS THIS IS FUCKED UP SERIOSLY LET ME OUT!"

Peridot jumped up, opening her mouth to say something, but felt the same chill, and a force push her back. She landed in a closet, which slammed shut as well. "LARS. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!" She pounded on the door, breathing heavily again.

She heard him scream again, followed by a crash. Then the front door opened and closed tightly, as she heard lars's panicked grunts and heavy footsteps

down the front yard. " LARS!" She hit the door a few more times, but just leaned against the back of the closet, panicking.

She slid down the wall, curling up and tightly gripping her jeans. She was trying to stay calm, but she was in A Locked Closet In The Creepiest House In Town. Her thoughts wandered dark, like she could die here. She might never get to graduate, never find someone she liked, never get an actual job. She would die here, ironicly, IN a CLOSET.

"HA! nice one, pumpkin!" The blonde paused as she heard the voice, along with happy light footsteps. "Heh I bet he PISSED himself. That was amazing! Everybody's gonna be talking about it at school!"

Peridot shivered, but moved into more crouch, pressing against the door. A small bark startled her, and she fell back again. While a few more yips came closer, along with the footsteps.

The blonde froze, pressing herself against the back of the loser as the lock clicked and the door was opened. She blinked, relaxing. "L-lapis!?" Her stunning crush stood there, her smile fading a bit. "PERI?"

It was awkward for a second, lapis blushing, but she bent down. "Are... are you okay?" She gently touched peridots knee. Giving a concerned look. "I knew someone else was here... but I thought it was Kiki or something... why were you with LARS?" She sounded a bit hurt, but also a bit angry.

"M-me? What are YOU doing here? Why are you just randomly hanging around in an old creepy house!?" She shot back, but tensing a bit and shakily standing. "Lapis was that you doing all the scares? Why? Wha... I don't understand." She looked into the black haired girls dark blue eyes, struggling to not fall into them again.

"I... well... uh..." lapis stuttered, blushing and kicking her foot a bit. "I don't think you'd believe me... and it's a long story. Look maybe you should just-" before she finished peridot heard another bark, and turned to see...

A... a dog?

But it was kindof see through, and it's small tail was wagging. It looked friendly, a small clear tongue lolling out of its mouth, and it's body slightly shaking with its tail....

But that didn't stop peridot from stumbling back. "WHAT THE HE'LL IS THAT?" She hid behind lapis, her eyes going wide as she looked at the... ghost? Ghost dog?

Lapis was stiff, but turned. "Peridot it's okay! Calm down he uh... uhm..." She struggled to find words to explain it. "This is uh... pumpkin..." She chuckled nervously. But she paused, growing her brows. "Wait... how can you see him?"

Peridot blinked. "Wha... what? What do you mean? Uh... is he a... ghost!? What the hell is HAPPENING? I'm dreaming... right...? Hooooly fuuuu..." She chuckles nervously, pacing a bit before pointing at the dog again. "Ghost. Ghost dog. You have a... ghost dog." She looked back at lapis, keeping her finger toward pumpkin.

Lapis smiled nervously. "Yeah..." She put her hands behind her back. "I... uh... like I said it's a long story..." pumpkin gave a small yup, and peridot blinked again, moving her hands and running them through her already messy hair while still staring at him. Lapis gently moves and puts her hands on peridots shoulder. "Please don't freak out... it's ok... really."

Peridot looked at her. Then laughed, rubbing her face. "Freak out? Lapis it's A GHOST. do you know how much I've wondered about paranormal stuff like this? This is amazing! And actual ghost!" She moved from the surprised girls grip to a crouching position. "How does it work? Like... can he posses things? People? Can he go through walls?"

She moved a hand out and the dogs tail wagged harder as he moved. To her surprise but joy, he rubbed against her hand and barked again. "And I can let him? This is a phenomenon! I can't believe this... oh my god..." She laughed, rubbing the transparent dogss ears and smiling.

Lapis relaxes, feeling her heart get warmer at the sweet sight. "No ones been able to see him begore... except me..." Peridot looked up, a little surprised. "I've been able to see him since I was little... everyone thought I was crazy..." Peridot stood, stepping forward.

Lapis was confused but the blonde lightly wiped a tear off. "I... you're not. Don't cry lapis. It's okay!" Lapis huffed happily, and suddenly wrapped the blonde in a hug.

"You cant tell anyone... for me, please? My dad would kill me..." She tightened thhe hug, and peridot sighed, hugging back. "I promise, lapis. Not like anyone would believe me anyway..." She laughed, then released lapis and felt pumpkin wiggle between them, panting.

"He's so cute... UGH" peridot laughed again, and both girls sqauted and began petting him. "I hope I didn't scare YOU. I just heard Lars talking about smashing stuff and... I got angry. This is his home. It wasn't fair."

"Well No ones gonna mess with it now. I'll help make sure of it." Peridot said seriously, smiling back up at lapis. The girl smiled back, and hesitantly moved and kissed the blondes cheek.

"Thanks, peri."

------------------------------------

@lapidot-week

I know it's not all lapidot but I just got the idea and I thought it was cute.

1606 words.

[codylabs]

Chapter 12: Escape to the Hard Life

Links: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Wendy awoke.

Just outside her open window, she heard her brother running the lawn mower. Doing it early in the morning was just his way of reminding her that she had promised to mow the lawn. But since she’d procrastinated for so long, he got a bigger allowance for doing it instead.

Ugh. I forgot again. Rub my face in it, why don’t ya?

She didn’t even bother opening the drawer of her dresser, because all her clothes were lying on the floor where she’d left them in the past week. She’d meant to get the laundry done yesterday. And the day before that. But she always just said ‘I’ll to it tomorrow’. But then the tomorrows came and went, and the laundry never got done, and her plans always bumped on back to ‘tomorrow’ once again.

Ugh. I’ll do it tomorrow.

So she crawled out of bed and into her cleanest dirty shirt, and began to prepare for the day.

When she came out of her room ten minutes later, with a backpack full of gear and an armful of armor, her dad was reclining on the couch watching TV.

He wasn’t looking so great. Juan’s mom had scratched him in the shoulder, sawed him in the leg, and threw him against the side of the house. He was still hurting pretty badly, and simply couldn’t find a way to sit that didn’t tweak something somewhere.

But Daniel Corduroy was a very manly man; such mortal pains were trivial to beings like him. He didn’t complain or whine. He threw no fuss whatsoever. He just kept the bandages where they were, kept the ice against it, and watched TV like normal. WHAT’S A LITTLE PAIN? He thought. I’VE HAD WORSE. WAIT, MAYBE I HAVEN’T… OH, SHUT UP ME!

Wendy aimed for house’s front door, which meant walking directly between him and the TV. She expected her dad to mutter some annoyed remark at the interruption, like usual. But instead, he broke his eyes entirely away from the screen, reached for the remote, and turned it off. “HEY.” He said, and gave her his full attention.

She stopped walking, and turned to face him. “Hey.”

“DIDN’T SEE YOU YESTERDAY.” He grunted. “WHERE WERE YA?”

“Oh, just…” She glanced around, trying to think how to put it. “Well… We were looking around, trying to figure out where the killer robots came from. And… Well… Yeah.”

“FIND ANY ANSWERS?”

“…Yeah.”

“WHERE?”

“It’s… Uh…” She hesitated to say it. “…Kind of a need-to-know basis…”

“…YOU… WAIT… HUH? YOU’RE GONNA KEEP A SECRET FROM YOUR OWN FATHER?!?”

She glanced about nervously. “Well… I kind of have to. Just… Trust me, it’s for the greater good that it stays between as few people as possible… It’s… We said to keep it a secret. We promised… I promised to take some very… Very amazing and scary things to my grave… And I wouldn’t betray that.”

This made a bit of sense to him, but it still annoyed him. He frowned up at the ceiling for a few seconds, and took a deep breath to calm his great annoyance. “SO.” With a mighty and obvious effort, he moved on. “WHO’S ‘WE’?”

“Huh?”

“WHO DO YOU TRUST THAT MUCH? MORE THAN ME?”

“Uh… I… I do trust you dad, it’s just… Okay, uh… The Pines men… Uh… Stanley and Stanford. Remember them? Used to own the Mystery Shack…”

“A’COURSE.”

“And Dipper, their great-nephew… I was with him all of yesterday.”

Dan nodded. “OH YEAH. THE LESS-GIRLY ONE. TELL ME ABOUT HIM.”

“Huh?”

“… YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH THE KID. TELL ME ABOUT HIM.”

“He’s… Uh… He’s a good man.” She stated simply.

Dan pondered this for a moment. “…MAN?”

“That’s right.”

“…HE’S BUILT LIKE A GIRL HALF HIS AGE.”

“Oh yeah?” Wendy fished her brain for some great comeback. “Well… Eh.”

Dan considered this. It seemed wrong to him that of a pair of mixed twins, the smaller one would be the boy. And it seemed further wrong to him that said boy would be given such a share of respect and trust. It seemed even further wrong to him that the boy’s obvious shortcomings would be so consistently and totally overlooked… Dan didn’t want to think too hard about all this though, because he knew he was probably wrong… But still.

He looked back up at the ceiling and took another deep breath, while he endeavored to drag his mind back on-topic. “HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS THING GONNA TAKE?”

“Like… Solving the mysteries of these robot things?”

“MAKING SURE THEY DON’T DO THIS NO MORE.” He pointed to his bandages. “HOW LONG ‘TILL YA BEAT ‘EM?”

She shrugged helplessly. “Like, I don’t know! This isn’t a war, dad! We don’t have an enemy that we can stand up to, it’s just a bunch of… Wild animals, we don’t even know how many! And this isn’t a job, either! I don’t have a schedule to keep or a wage to earn… I’ve put maybe 40 hours into this mess just this week, not including the time I spent recording in my diary or with you at the hospital. And we have NO idea how close we are to solving the mystery, and even LESS idea WHAT to do once we solve it…”

“40 HOURS THIS WEEK?” Dan frowned.

“Yeah.” Wendy grunted.

Dan considered this, and decided to remind her of her second priority. “YOU KNOW, YOU STILL NEED TO GET A JOB THIS SUMMER.”

Wendy closed her eyes. She had been meaning to forget that part for a while now. Her hands balled into fists within her pockets. “Yeah.” She grunted again. “I know.”

“HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING FOR A JOB?”

“No.” She admitted, as politely as she could manage.

“YOU KNOW YOU SAID YOU WANTED A ‘GOOD’ JOB… THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO SET YOUR SIGHTS HIGH. YOU NEED A RESUME… YOU FINISHED THAT YET?”

“No.” She admitted.

Her dad frowned. “HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN WORKING ON IT?”

She took her balled fists out of her pockets. “No.” She admitted.

“…HAVE YOU STARTED IT?”

“No!” She spat.

This annoyed Dan even more. He stared up at the ceiling for a few more seconds, and breathed deeply again. He looked back at her again. “THIS IS YOUR LIFE, WENDY. YOUR GAS MONEY, YOUR DRIVER’S INSURANCE, YOUR CAR SOMEDAY, YOUR COLLEGE IF YOU WANT…”

“I know, but… There’s always stuff that… Look, it’ll GET done, dad! I’ll get a job. I will! Just…” She gestured to the armor she had in her hands, then to the door. “There’s other stuff to do…!”

“THERE ALWAYS IS! BUT IF YOU REALLY WANTED THAT JOB, YOU WOULDN’T JUST COME HOME AND WATCH TV LIKE YOU DO! YOU WOULD WORK FOR IT!”

“Yeah. Thanks. I will.” Wendy turned and made for the door.

“LOOK, I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT ME REMINDING YOU, AND I KNOW IT’S YOUR LIFE, BUT I CAN’T JUST SIT BY WHILE YOU BLOW IT!” He bellowed. “YOU’RE RUNNING AROUND CHASING GHOSTS, AND YOU THINK THAT LETS YOU GET OFF RESPONSIBILITIES! I CARE ABOUT YOU, WENDY! SOMETIMES IT SEEMS I CARE MORE THAN YOU!”

“Sure…” Wendy grunted, stepped out the front door, and slammed it shut behind her.

Ugh.

The job… Her dad expected her to have a job… It wasn’t a huge expectation, really. It was perfectly reasonable… It just happened to be the straw that broke the camel’s cool. She didn’t want to deal with this. She didn’t want to think about it. She wanted nothing more than to forget all about it. She was so… Very… Done.

She eased herself down onto the front step, pulled out her phone, and began to check through her recent messages.

-Nate found a way to make paint cans explode! Come to the football game tonight so we can totally terrorize it! -Lee

-Why aren’t you texting me? I thought you wanted to go out again! -Joe

-Free subscription to our weekly newsletter! Simply call 8005554592 with credit card information -$$Win Win Baby$$

-Robbie says he can give us a ride to the forest today. Ready to roll out at 10:00. -Dipper

-I still love you, btw. >3. -Joe

-Oops, I mean <3. -Joe

-Credit Union Fraud Center: Fuel tax $38.83 on card 6800 of your account. If valid reply YES, if fraud reply NO. To opt out reply STOP. -Credit Union Fraud Center

-3 people liked your status update.

-I understand the urgency of the matter. I’ll be at 412 Gopher Avenue on the 10th. -B.Blandin.

-I’M MOWNG THE LAN AND GETING YOUR ALLOWANS! NYEH! -Bro

-Your library book ‘Cryptids: Pseudo-Science or Reality?’ has been overdue as of 05/14/2012. Return by yesterday or pay the full buyout price. -Gravity Falls Library

-Did I mention I found a way to make paint cans explode? Instant graffiti! -Nate

She scrolled through the messages. The words entered through her eyes and into her subconscious, but they didn’t get much further than that, because she didn’t care what they said; not even a little.

This wasn’t important. This wasn’t relevant. This was just her friends, her family, and the whole of the rest of society, trying to get in at her. Trying to get a piece of her. Vying for her attention, her time, even her money… Everybody wanted a piece of Wendy, everybody was saying something different and confusing, and the only method she had to survive was to retreat: shut it out and ignore it.

She began to delete texts.

Only one really stuck out to her, and she kept it.

-Robbie says he can give us a ride to the forest today. Ready to roll out at 10:00. -Dipper

There it is.

The mission. The plan. The duty. The purpose. There was one thing at least which was tangible and real.

Here in this normal life, where everything was ordinary and routine, here was where reality was at its most confusing, most burdensome, most troubling and depressing. But in that other life, where everything was crazy and hectic, where so much good and evil hung in balance, that was where things started to fall into place. That was where she stopped being confused, and could finally stand tall enough to stop being lazy. She could forget her family, her ex-boyfriends, her responsibilities, her laundry… It freed her. This crazy life was the one place where she knew how to live.

That was the life she loved.

-Ready for pickup now. She texted Dipper back. -I’ve got my armor if you’ve got yours. See you in a bit.

Dipper tossed his backpack and armor into the back of Robbie’s van, where they clattered to a stop on top of Wendy’s. Dipper slammed the doors back shut, and made his way toward the front of the vehicle.

“So… Like, where is this place again?” Robbie was saying, as he pulled out his phone and opened the ‘maps’ program.

“Oh, you know, just… Back in the woods.” Wendy shrugged. “Uh… Head South on Befufftlefumpter Avenue, and I’ll let you know from there.”

“Oh… Okay.” Robbie put away his phone. When he noticed Dipper standing at the door, he gestured toward the back seat. “Hey, you can sit in the back, little man.”

The back seat was stuffed chock-full of edgy, gothic clothes, edgy, gothic skateboards, edgy gothic musical instruments, candy wrappers, and edgy, gothic candy wrappers. “Great.” Dipper grunted, and began shoveling the junk aside, just to make room to sit down. Robbie started the engine before he’d finished, and lurched down the road toward the forest.

From there, the trip passed in a boring sort of way. Up in the front seats, Wendy and Robbie chatted about the most recent death metal albums, arguing about whether the songs had lyrics or were just screaming, theorizing as to what those lyrics might be, gossiping about the personal lives of the band members, etcetera. Dipper tuned out after a few minutes of this, then opened his journal and looking back over the notes from their first visit.

The first time, they’d only made it into the metal forest about half a mile. Then the underbrush and accumulated malice of the sharp leaves got so painful that they couldn’t continue. This time however, Wendy’s improvised suits of armor should be able to get them as far as the needed; far enough to reach the alien coordinates.

‘Betty and Barney’ said they’d set up ‘fortifications’ there. With any luck at all, the place would hold some answers.

The pavement ended after about ten minutes of driving. The gravel ended about ten minutes after that, and then the van was bouncing and rocking its way along narrow, overgrown dirt roads, up into the hills and deeper into the unknown.

The road took one final bend toward the old logging areas, and here they instructed Robbie to stop. This was the closest such roads reached, so they’d have to continue on foot from here.

Dipper and Wendy hopped out of the van and circled around to the back, where they began to unpack their equipment, and suit up.

“Hey…” Wendy remarked. “Why’s there a third backpack in here?”

“Huh?” Dipper looked down at it. “I don’t know. I thought you put that here.”

“Nope.” Wendy reached over and picked it up. “Well, there’s nothing even in it except some old glitter…”

“Oh, okay… Wait, what?”

They were interrupted from their discussion by Robbie, who had followed them around to the back of them van. “Woah.” He blinked, as he regarded their armor. “Is all that really necessary?”

“Oh yeah.” Dipper told him.

“Eh.” Wendy shrugged as she pulled the leather gloves and composite gauntlets over her arms. “We’ll see. But it can’t hurt, right?”

“Uh… So… Look…” Robbie shrugged, and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “Like… You know that I wasn’t a chicken the last time you guys went out there. I actually did want to come.”

“I know.” Wendy hiked up her leggings, and tightened the belt. “But you were wearing flip-flops.”

“Well… Look. I’m wearing boots this time. And I’m still not chicken.” Robbie gestured down to his boots. “I, like… I heard what happened to your dad. I heard that this thing really hurt him. So… Like, that sucks. And I want to help. I want to do this. I do.”

Oh… Dipper realized. That third backpack must be his. He was planning to come along the whole time… What did Wendy have to say about this? He looked over at her.

Wendy lowered the shoulder pads into place, and cinched the straps up around her waist. She glanced sideways at Robbie. “You really want to risk life, limb, and skin out in a deep, dark forest where the leaves are literally thousands of knives?”

“Is that what this is?” One of Robbie’s eyes was completely obscured by his hair, but the other one got really wide. “Like, what kind of knives? Do they slash or just stab?”

“Umm… Yes.”

“Woah…” Robbie blinked. “That’s… Like… Hardcore.”

“And it’s what we’re dealing with.” Dipper told him. “Hence the utterly necessary armor.”

“Yeah.” Wendy threw the chainsaw chaps across her back, and buckled the legs around her wrists. “I mean… You can come if you want, but…”

“UH…?” Dipper looked up at her, wondering if she really meant that. Robbie was useless, right?

“Oh yeah? Hey, look!” Robbie slipped back toward the front of the van, and came back in a minute covered head-to-toe in ultra-edgy, ultra-gothic black leather. He was also holding his mom’s sawed-off shotgun. “I got this!” He told them.

Dipper snorted. “You look like a… Like… I don’t know, like Catwoman or something.”

“HEY!” Robbie snarled. “At least I don’t look like some junior-high flag-football-dropout superhero-wannabe!”

“Is that what this is?” Wendy tied her hair back to make way for the helmet. “I always fancied we were more of… Post-apocalyptic rhino-hunters.”

“Well… I mean… You look fine, Wendy, but this guy’s helmet is bigger than his torso!”

“You know what?” Dipper snapped. “Fine! I look ridiculous! I’ll admit it! But at least I AM going out there prepared. You just got all your stuff just now, and shotguns don’t even work on these things!”

Robbie turned toward him, and frowned. “You’ve got some MOUTH, don’t ya, ya snobby little pipsqueak?”

“Woah, dude.” Wendy was about to put on her helmet, but instead she set it down and put up her hands to ward off a potential fight. “Back off…”

“You know what? You think you’re so much better than me!” Robbie stepped past Wendy and shoved a finger in Dipper’s face. “You always have, and now it looks like you always will! Dipper’s the smartest! Dipper’s the bravest! Dipper’s the hero! Dipper’s the manliest little snot-nosed 12-year-old brat on the face of this whole stupid Earth! You think you’ve got it all together huh?”

“I’ve never said that or thought that!” Dipper took a step forward, and didn’t flinch even a little. “All I’m saying is that we can’t use you if you’re not prepared! You didn’t even pack anything in your backpack!”

“Dudes!” Wendy repeated. “Chill!”

“You just want to kiss me off again? Treat me like pointless trash, just like you always do?” Robbie said.

“Wouldn’t you, in my place? What AM I supposed to do with you?!?” Dipper lost his temper. “Robbie, the ONLY halfway-competent thing I’ve EVER seen you do is hypnotize Wendy!”

There was silence for a good minute.

Dipper thought through what he’d just said. He wished he hadn’t said it, but too late now. He closed his eyes, bit his lower lip, and balled his fists. Why can’t I ever just shut up?

Robbie took a step back, and his eyes fell to the ground.

Wendy didn’t say a word. She just donned her helmet, and turned away.

Robbie and Dipper looked at each other.

“Well.” Robbie finally grumbled. “I guess the winners write the history books, huh?” And then he turned away, went back around to the front of his van, and climbed in. The engine sputtered a few times before rolling over, and then the vehicle lurched to life, turned around on the narrow road, and started back down the hill.

Dipper and Wendy hiked in silence.

“Sorry.” Dipper finally said.

The word wasn’t half out of his mouth before Wendy interrupted him. “Dude. That’s what you say every single time that whole hypnosis thing comes up. You always just start apologizing! Well look, I forgave you! See? I’ll do it again: I forgive you. Just like the last, like, four times. So ease up already, okay?”

“Oh… Okay…”

“Only one thing: I forgave Robbie too. So don’t go dragging him back into this. We’ve all moved on. We’re all sorry. And nobody’s more sorry than him. Nobody wants to move on more than him.”

“Yeah… I guess… Sorry.”

“Yeah, I heard you the fifth time.”

“Sorry.”

“Sixth.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. I get it, I just… Yeah.”

“And look.” Wendy said. “Don’t get hung up on this sort of stuff, man. You’re sweating bullets over the distant past, when all you really need to do is chill out, calm down, and stick to what’s important.”

“But… Aren’t my friends… My relationships… You? Important too? Like, I mean… I’m just… I don’t know, I was a jerk to Robbie wasn’t I? I should apologize to him, huh?”

“Look dude, that’s none of my business. But you know what is my business?”

“What?”

“The one thing we’re both good at, dude. The mission. Tell me: how close are we to the metal forest?”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah.” He reached up underneath the armor’s chestpiece, where he’d put his map before setting out today.

It wasn’t there.

“Uh…” He checked his back pocket, his front pocket, and all the other little chinks in the armor. He could’ve sworn he left it in here somewhere… “Uh…” He repeated. “We should be pretty close… I guess… I mean, I must’ve forgot my map but we should know when we get there, right?”

“It’s kind of hard to tell, but if you pick individual trees and look real close…” Wendy picked up a rock, and pitched it at the trunk of a tree up ahead. The impact made a loud metallic ‘BONG’ sound. “You can tell them apart.”

“Huh.” Dipper squinted around at some of the other trees, and saw that they were standing right at the end of the organic forest. Past here, there was a few hundred feet of mingled growth, and then the full-metal started in quickly. “We should, like… Paint a line or something.” He suggested.

“Yeah…” Wendy pulled out a rattle can of paint, and drew a long red stripe on the side of the nearest tree. Then she dabbed her finger in some of the excess paint, and wrote the words ‘DANGER, KILLER ROBOTS BEYOND THIS POINT’ above the line. “There we go… Ooh, wait. In case anybody’s coming the other direction…” She swung around to the other side of the tree, and wrote ‘YOU MADE IT OUT ALIVE. YOU DA BOSS’.

“Great.” Dipper nodded. “Now… Ugh, oh man… I forgot my map. How we gonna find the coordinates?”

“We’ll just find it with our razor-sharp senses, willy intellects, and cunning instincts.” Wendy promised, with utter confidence.

“Uh… Does that work?” Dipper frowned.

“HECK no.” Wendy pulled out her own map. “We’ll just use mine. Where’d you say it was?” She pointed to a point on the map. “Here?”

“Yep… So… That way.” He pointed to the South-East.

“That way.” She confirmed, and started into the trees.

And so they continued. They passed through the forest’s outer regions, where the trees were further apart and the air was clear. They reached a small creek; the same on from their first visit. But this time they didn’t follow it; they crossed straight through, and continued on without stopping. Their destination lay beyond.

A few minutes later, the forest grew thicker and became immersive; the air smelled like iron filings and odd chemicals, normal moss and grass had disappeared entirely, and the clicking and buzzing of wildlife replaced the ordinary birds. Indeed, the whole world seemed ever-so-slightly colder and greyer. This place was alien in every way.

Their armor really started to prove itself. Their ears began to fill with clattering, scraping and tapping, as the razor-sharp branches and leaves assailed them and bounced off. Blow after blow was warded off by the armor plates, and more and more nicks and dings and scratches and abrasions appeared in the surface. But each mar was only surface deep; none of the blades were getting more than a few millimeters into the plastic, as their branches simply weren’t stiff enough to push them deeper.

Working wonderfully.

But this constant barrage wasn’t the hardest part of the journey. The ground beneath their feet was becoming… Strange. It wasn’t a flat surface anymore, or even what passed for ‘flat’ in normal forests. This was uneven; rough; chaotic. Every available surface was either a root, a branch, or some ancient deadfall. The heaping masses of living and dead metal rose and fell in miniature hills and valleys below them, entwining with itself, and hiding all else, even the dirt and the rocks. The ecosystem had consumed the very landscape.

There came to a point where a thicket of trees and bushes formed a sort of short cliff, and the only way to walk through was to climb a few feet up a tree, do some tricky footwork across the bows, and descend the other side. Wendy climbed up ahead of Dipper, wrapped an arm around a higher branch, and extended her other down to him. They gripped each other’s wrists, and she hauled him up beside her.

“Ugh.” Dipper said. “Why’s everything getting so… Like… I mean, where’s the ground?”

“If I had to guess…” Wendy looked around. “I’d say the actual ground is about 5 or 10 feet below the roots and logs we’re walking on. But just, like… When the old trees topple over, new trees use their remains for food, and grow right in the same place. And then those new trees-on-trees fall over too, and more grow on top of them, yadda yadda, right? …So over the years…” She steadied herself against the trunk, and jumped across a short gap. “It just stacks on top of itself.”

“Uh… That makes sense…” Dipper made the same jump right behind her, and would have lost his balance if she hadn’t caught him. “Why don’t normal forests do that, then?”

Wendy shrugged. “Normal forests do that too. Especially the old-growth forests, where my dad takes us hiking… That’s how I know.”

“Yeah, but… So why is this place such a tangled, deep mess? Normal forests are usually pretty flat.”

“I dunno… It��s probably because there’s no forest fires around here. In normal forests, a big ‘ol fire washes through about every 50 years, and cleans up all the deadfalls.”

“Huh… Yeah… And it might be because rain and water doesn’t dissolve or wash the rotten chemicals away.” Dipper theorized. “Everything is… Everything’s all solid. Normal life is based on liquid water, so things kind of… Rot away easier. But here, it’s all frozen in place. Static.”

“Ooh, that’s a good theory.”

Wendy reached a place where they could descend out of the tree, and back down to the ‘ground’. So she took a jump, aiming for a patch of grass. But when she landed on it, it gave way beneath her with a loud snap and creak. She lost control of her descent, and began falling further than intended.

“Wendy!” Dipper yelped.

But she didn’t fall far; only up to her armpits.

“Agh! DANG it!” She winced, as she tried to get her elbows under her. “Ow.”

Dipper descended more carefully, ran up to her, and offered his hand. “Are you okay?!? Did… Like… Did anything stab… Uh…”

“Ugh…” She took his hand, and pulled herself out of the hole. “Oh, ow, that’s gonna leave a bruise. Take note: this is all very hard. It hurts to land on.”

“Yeah… Are you okay though?”

“Uh… Yeah. I’m fine… I’m not skewered like a pig, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Err… Yeah… Okay.”

Wendy looked back down at the hole. The grassy landing pad had been growing in a gap between two fallen logs. When she’d hit it, the impact had knocked the smaller vegetation loose, leaving a sort of tunnel. Down in the gap, they heard something alive move about, then clatter away from them, off through the ground.

“So…” Dipper frowned. “If the forest is made of a whole bunch of stacked logs, are there tunnels and gaps all through it then? Like, I’m sure this isn’t the only place where the grass is loose.”

“Yeah… It’s like… Like a ‘Super Plumber Bros.’ game.” Wendy said. “We have to hop and jump between platforms, because there’s pits and spikes and crumbly parts everywhere below you.”

“It’s kind of scarier when it’s not in a video game.” Dipper noted.

They stood staring for a minute.

“So…” Wendy said. “Are we gonna go down there, or what?”

“Uh… Well, did you see anything cool down there?”

“Uh…” She reached back into the hole, and came up holding some fat, round plants. “Nothing but some… What are these? Fruit? Mushrooms? I don’t know. But they were down there.”

“Heh. Okay.”

She shoved them in her backpack, and they continued onwards above ground. High in the treetops above them, a small herd of five-armed ‘monkeys’ glance down with curiosity. Dipper waved up in a friendly way, but the harmless little animals didn’t respond. Instead, they just went back to cutting up and eating little bits off the tree branches.

After a while, they sat down beside a log to rest for a minute. Dipper reached into his backpack and pulled out his walkie-talkie. Ford had been kind of nervous about them going in alone, so it would be good to let him know everything’s all right. Hoping the signal would reach, he pushed the radio’s button and began to speak. “Hey Ford, just calling to let you know we’re all—”

As soon as the radio signal left the device, the forest leapt to life around them, and the teens realized that they’d accidentally wandered directly into the center of a large herd of pony-sized robot creatures.

Dipper hadn’t even noticed them ahead of time. Their spiny backs and long heads were colored and textured in an identical brown/grey to the rest of the trees, and the solar panel arrays on their tails looked a lot like those of the living bushes.

Nearly perfect camouflage. Perfect for sneaking up on people and attacking.

But they didn’t attack. If anything, they seemed as confused and startled as Dipper and Wendy were. Most of them stood in place with their antennae out, scanning side to side. The others watched the scanning ones, unsure if they should be panicked or not.

Dipper could see that no attack was forthcoming, but he didn’t want to provoke them anyway, so he turned his walkie-talkie off entirely, and returned it to his backpack.

One nearby creature seemed to notice them visually. It turned toward them, and approached until it was about 10 feet away. The teens stood up slowly, ready to fight or run if it did anything aggressive. Dipper wasn’t sure if they were in danger, however. Unlike the robot lion, which was sharp and hooked all over, this creature appeared entirely unarmed. It had no saws in its mouth, just a set of clamp-like jaws. Even its feet lacked claws; the fingers were short and stubby, almost like hooves.

Dipper supposed it could try to ram them with its gigantic, long head, but other than that it appeared perfectly harmless.

“So…” Wendy said. “It’s a herbivore, or what?”

“Well, it doesn’t have saws… Yeah, I think it’s harmless.” Dipper took out a disposable camera, covered up the light to prevent startling it with a flash, and began snapping pictures.

Wendy remembered the ‘fruit’ in her backpack. “Uh… Hey big guy… You want this?” She pulled out the food, and held it out to the creature. It shied away at first, then its antennae perked up, and it took a few steps closer. “Okay.” Wendy said. “Yeah. Herbivore.”

“It’s just, like, a robot deer or something.” Dipper said, and took another picture as it got close.

Then the creature opened its mouth. There was another mouth inside its mouth, and this second system shot outward about two feet and snagged the food out of Wendy’s hand.

“AGH!” Dipper yelped.

“Woah!” Wendy jerked her hand back.

The robot held the fruit in its first set of jaws, and began to grind at it with a drill bit in its second. When it was through, it took another step toward them, as if asking for more.

“Okay…” Wendy said. “Yeah. Still a robot deer… It just…”

“It has a head that looks like a Xenomorph.” Dipper observed, and took another picture.

“Yeah.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“No.”

“Just kind of weird.”

“Yeah.”

“Kind of freaky.”

“Yeah.”

It took another step towards them. “No.” Wendy said, as the deer/xenomorph thing got closer. “NO. Nothing more. No more fruit or stuff. Go away.”

It extended its second mouth again, and turned to Dipper. Okay. He thought, suddenly nervous. Its head is 4 feet long. That means its mouth can pop out 4 feet. Which means it can probably reach me from here… And it can definitely reach my…

The mouth shot out again, aiming for Dipper’s camera. He jerked it out of the way as fast as he could, and the deer’s drills did nothing but nick the chest of his armor.

“Hey.” Wendy stepped forward. “Shoo. Come on dude, shoo. Shoo. No more food. Take your weird long drill head, and take it way out of here. Go on, git.” She put a hand on top of its head, and pushed it away. It shook her hand off, and took another step inward.

“HEY!” Wendy yelled at it. “SHOO!”

It didn’t have ears, so the yelling was slightly less than effective.

“Yo.” Dipper brought his gauntlet down on top of its head. Not quite a punch, but almost. “Shoo!”

Its body was very hard and tough, so a measly half-punch wasn’t all that effective either. It turned toward him.

“Okay, look stupid thing.” Wendy said. “I’m like, up to here with your crap right now. Why don’t you…”

Just then, her words were cut off by a sudden noise, coming from the North; a clattering, and banging. The robot deer froze, extended its antennae all the way, and looked off in that same direction. All the other deer in the forest did similar.

The noise changed to a grinding, abrasive noise; the sound of saws.

All the deer tucked their long heads down close to their bodies, fanned out their solar panels like warning flags, and sprinted off through the trees to the south. In a matter of seconds, they were gone, and all that remained was some flattened grass, and some pictures on the camera.

Dipper and Wendy turned toward the sound of the noise, and crouched down behind a tree trunk. “You think that’s…?”

Wendy nodded. “Dude, I bet it IS! Let’s go see!”

They carefully began to crawl their way through the trees, staying behind logs and bushes whenever possible.

The finally stopped about 30 feet from the sound, and made themselves as hidden as possible.

“Magnet guns.” Wendy told him.

They both drew their weapons. (Not to use, just to have.) Dipper drew his camera as well.

And then they peaked over.

A deer robot lay on the forest floor, mangled and broken. Two full-grown lion-bots stood over it, digging into its torso with their massive saws. Sparks, debris, metal shavings, and bits of oil flew all over the place, as the deer’s motors, batteries, and functional parts slowly but surely disappeared into its killers.

The lions were pleasantly ignoring the humans for the moment, so they got comfortable and kept watching. Dipper lined up his camera, and began snapping pictures, while Wendy took a good look at the creatures themselves.

One was Juan’s mom. It had the damage that her dad had given it in the fight, as well as the ‘mom parts’ that Mabel had first pointed out.

The other was ‘male’, judging by the lack of these same parts. The male was slightly bigger, with a slightly shorter torso, longer antennae, and lighter coloring.

But curiously, although they’d never even seen this male before, it still had some damage; damage they didn’t give it. The plating on its right side was dented and twisted by a big, burned crater, partially exposing the hydraulics beneath. As if somebody had hit him with a grenade or a flamethrower or a… Laser blaster or something.

“Hey.” Wendy whispered.

“What?” Dipper looked over at her.

Wendy pointed to the blast mark, and shrugged. “Eh?”

“Uh…” Dipper frowned at it, and then shrugged. “Maybe there’s creatures out here with built-in ray guns?”

“…We should look out for that.”

“Yeah.”

And then Dipper’s phone rang.

Ford nervously drummed the six fingers of his hand against the table, while he waited for his great-nephew to pick up. What’s taking so long? Dipper’s usually pretty punctual about answering…

“Hey!” Stan called from the next room. “Did you ask Dipper yet?”

“Trying now!” Ford covered up the speaker and hollered back. “Just calm down Stan; it’s probably no big deal…”

“But it could be a big deal!” Stan reminded him. “You need to get a hold of him!”

“But he’s not picking up! He’s—”

Ford suddenly remembered just where Dipper was: an alien forest where the dangerous creatures heard and smelled through radio and electrical signals. Wait a minute, why is his phone even on at all? Ford wondered. If Dipper had any sense at all, he would have shut it off entirely. If anybody called him, the signals it shared with the cell tower could give away his position… Oh well. He must have just forgotten.

WAIT A MINUTE! Ford frowned as a new thought entered his mind. I just called him! Oh dear… I might have actually have put him danger, just by doing that… Oh my…

Ford was about to hang up, when suddenly Dipper’s voice sounded over the speaker. “HEYGREATUNCLEFORD THISREALLYISNTHEBESTTIME COULDICALLYOUBACK?”

“Dipper! I’m glad you’re all right! Listen, this is fairly imp—”

“NOTTHEBESTTIME!” Dipper repeated. “WENDY! HIDE DOWN THERE! I’LL FOLLOW YOU! GO GO GO!”

He heard the sound of a magnet gun discharge over the line. And in the background, was that the sound of saws?

“I’ll make it fast!” Ford promised. “Dipper, have you—”

Dipper hung up.

“Have you seen…” Ford looked at the phone for a second. He really had just hung up. He must actually have been in trouble… Ford closed the phone and slipped it back into his pocket. In the parlor’s new silence, he finished his sentence quietly to himself. “…Have you seen Mabel…”

A few hours earlier, Robbie’s head bounced side to side as his van rolled its bumpy way back down the roads, leaving Dipper and Wendy at the end of the trail at the top.

As he drove, a great many dark and edgy thoughts were going through his mind. Dipper is such a jerk… I could beat him in a fight… I wish I had… He just cheated… Wendy and I could have made it work… I didn’t mean to hypnotize her… Well, kind of… Well I only half meant to… Has Wendy ever forgiven me…? And what’s with those two now? They’re doing all this stuff together alone, and Dipper got rid of me today just because I’m intruding on their ‘alone time’... If they didn’t mean for me to come along, why would they throw in a 3rd empty backpack?

Wait a minute, they said it wasn’t theirs… Who packed it then? And why would they pack nothing but some glitter?

“Hold on.” Robbie mumbled, as he glanced over his shoulder.

To his surprise, he didn’t see the back of his van. He saw a young girl’s face, about 2 inches from his.

“HELLO!” She announced, more than loud enough.

“Ah geez there’s a kid in here!!” The van almost crashed into a tree as he stomped into the brake pedal. When the vehicle was safely back under control and stationary, he turned back to address his stowaway. “What the heck? Why are you here?!?” He asked. His brain worked through this new development. “You stowed yourself away in a backpack…? Wait, that doesn’t even make any sense! How did you load it into the van while you were still inside it?” He demanded.

What’s her name again? He racked his brain. I don’t quite remember, she’s just kind of the ‘Girly Dipper’ that set me up for a date one time… Well, I hate Dipper but I like girls, so… I don’t know…

“Oh, pshaw! You crack me up sometimes!” Girly Dipper rolled her eyes upwards as she leaned one cheek into her elbow with a mysterious grin. “Sneaking myself past the closed and locked doors from inside a backpack… That was the easy part! The hard part was fitting a pig in there too!” She produced a full-grown pig, which promptly emitted a loud snort.

“AGH! PIG IN MY VAN!” Robbie tried to stand up, and bumped his hair on the ceiling.

“And if you’re wondering how I did that… Well.” Girl Dipper smiled again. “You should really check out my YouTube video: ‘Mabel’s Guide to Showing Up in unexpected times and Places’.”

“Uh…”

“Yeah! It’s super informative! And a masterpiece, if I do say so myself. A true classic.”

“Okay…” Robbie sat back down hesitantly.

“So… Riddle me this, my gnarly old friend.” She abruptly changed the subject. “I guess Dipper and Wendy don’t want you going on their thing, huh?”

“Uhh…” Robbie squirmed rebelliously. “I didn’t even… Like… Wanna go on their stupid thing anyway. If I wanted to roll around in knives all day I would’ve just ransacked my dad’s morgue…”

“Well… If you don’t want to do that, how would you feel about helping me collect stuff?” She reached into her sweater and pulled out a map, scrawled all over Dipper’s handwriting. “Not as much danger, but the work is more important. And we’ll make lots of new robot friends!”

“Huh?”

“See, sometimes I don’t think Dipper trusts me.” The girl admitted with a shrug. “Maybe he’s right not to… Sometimes. ‘Cause we all do silly stuff that’s not very smart… But… But this time, I think he’s wrong. ‘Cause see, he wants to, like, kill the robot creatures and stuff like that… And I don’t think that’s really all super ethical or whatever. So I… I have another mission. A happier, funner mission… So what do you say, Mr. Buddy-Pal-Chum-Friend-Pal?” She gave him a gentle little punch on the shoulder. “Would you consider being my dark, edgy chauffeur/bodyguard for a day?”

“Uh…” Robbie frowned. “Uh… I guess…?”

“Awesome!” She squealed.

“SQUEE!” The pig squealed.

The girl then reached over Robbie’s shoulder, and put the van in ‘park’. “Let’s go do this thing!!”

[kayluh1915]

103 (?) Questions Answered.

I know this isn’t how this “game” works, but I had him on my mind and I needed a distraction. So, here’s 103 questions about me answered... I think. I’m pretty sure I numbered it wrong somewhere, but I don’t have the mental strength to fix it right now. Enjoy all of this completely useless information! It helped me forget, at least for a while.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify.

2. Is your room messy or clean? Clean…ish... most of the time...

3. What color are your eyes? Sea foam blue-green.

4. Do you like your name? why? Yes. IDK, I guess it just sounds pretty.

5. What is your relationship status? Engaged.

6. Describe your personality in 3 words or less. Witty, absent minded, empathetic.

7. What color hair do you have? Dark Brown.

8. What kind of car do you drive? color? I don't have a car yet.

9. Where do you shop? Walmart mostly.

10. How would you describe your style? Girly casual.

11. Favorite social media account? Tumblr.

12. What size bed do you have? Queen.

13. Any siblings? One blood younger bother and one adopted younger sister.

14. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why? Japan because I love their culture.

15. Favorite Snapchat filter? It’s an old one and I don’t think it’s there anymore, but the butterfly crown.

16. Favorite makeup brand(s)? Maybelline and Covergirl. I don’t like to spend a lot of money on makeup.

17. How many times a week do you shower? Three to four.

18. Favorite TV show? Avatar: The Last Airbender.

19. Shoe size? 7½ US

20. How tall are you? 5’0

21. Sandals or sneakers? Sandals!

22. Do you go to the gym? Occasionally. Been meaning to start going more.

23. Describe your dream date A day in Disney or Hawaii.

24. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Bold of you to assume I have money at all.

25. What color socks are you wearing? I'm barefoot at the moment.

26. How many pillows do you sleep with? Only one. I hate a crowded bed.

27. Do you have a job? What do you do? Currently unemployed at the moment due to certain circumstances.

28. How many friends do you have? I have a lot of friends, but only about six or seven close ones.

29. What’s the worst thing you have ever done? I used a guy’s feelings for me to get free food. I know that sounds bad, but they were aware that I was dating my fiancé and they were supposed to be getting married themselves, but still continued to try and pursue me anyway. Figured I may as well get a Big Mac and some Pepsi out of it.

30. Whats your favorite candle scent? Vanilla!

31. Three favorite boy names? Eric, Mason, and Xander.

32. Three favorite girl names? Brielle, Brooklyn, and Scarlett.

33. Favorite actor? Adam Driver.

34. Favorite actress? Jennifer Lawrence.

35.Who is your celebrity crush? Well, I just found out that he’s secretly been a manipulative monster all this time… so no one right now.

36. Favorite movie? Titanic.

37. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? I hardly ever read “traditional” literature, but among the ones I have read my favorites are Hatchet and Bud not Buddy.

38. Money or brains? Brains.

39. Do you have a nickname? What is it? Usually just Kay. My Papaw used to call me Booch. I don’t know where he got it or why he called me that, but he did. He passed away in 2013, though, so no one calls me that anymore.

40. How many times have you been to the hospital? Admitted? About 5 or 6 times. Visited? More than I can count.

41. Top 10 favorite songs? These change on a regular basis, but for now they are:

43.Do you take any medications daily? I take a total of 4 medications every night before bed

44. What is your skin type (oily, dry, etc)? Combination.

45. What is your biggest fear? This is going to sound childish, but the dark. Well, I guess it’s not actually the dark its self that scares me, it’s knowing that there could be something standing less than five feet in front of you and you’d have no way of knowing. It’s more of what could be hiding in the dark than the actual dark.

46. How many kids do you want? Zero, zip, nadda.

47. Whats your go to hair style? Braid for a day or two then down until I wash my hair again.

48.What type of house do you live in? Small-medium apartment.

49. Who is your role model? I really look up to my old band teacher a lot. He always has something inspiring to say and makes you feel like you can conquer the world.

50. What was the last compliment you received? I was told that I was super kind and sweet.

51. What was the last text you sent? “Well, if I ever play it with you you’ll get to hear me freaking the fuck out. 😂😂😂”- Sent to my buddy James when he told me about Phasmophobia.

52. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? My mom never told us that Santa was real to begin with. She felt like lying to us was wrong so she just… told us straight up.

53. What is your dream car? Just your typical, modern Chevy or Nissan. I don’t really want anything flashy, just something that can get me from point A to point B in comfort.

54. Opinion on smoking? I've lost three of my four grandparents to smoking induced lung cancer. One of those was my Mamaw who I watched cough up her lungs through a tube when I was only six. Don’t fucking do it.

55. Do you go to college? I did at one point. Hoping to return one day.

56. What is your dream job? Running my own YouTube channel or marching band… or both. Being an Achievement Hunter doesn’t sound like a bad gig either.

57. Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Suburbs. People love the rural lifestyle until they hear about these new, hip things like Uber, Grub Hub, on time delivery, and fast internet.

58. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Are you… not supposed to?

59. Do you have freckles? Nope.

60. Do you smile for pictures? Usually, yes.

61. How many pictures do you have on your phone? 570. Had a shit ton more, but I backed them up to my Google account and freed up a bunch of space.

62. Have you ever peed in the woods? I grew up in the middle of redneck county where camping is an extension of one's self… of course I have.

63. Do you still watch cartoons? ...Duh?

64. Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonald's? Mick D's!

65. Favorite dipping sauce? Ranch or honey mustard.

66. What do you wear to bed? Panties and a large nightshirt.

67. Have you ever won a spelling bee? Hell no. I can spell, but not unless I’m writing it.

68. What are your hobbies? Playing the trumpet, singing, sewing, writing, cooking, and video games.

69. Can you draw? Can pigs fly?

70. Do you play an instrument? Yes! I play trumpet (as mentioned earlier), flute, and piano.

71.What was the last concert you saw? I've never been to a concert unless you consider all the choir and band concerts I've participated in over the years.

72. Tea or coffee? Coffee.

73. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks.

74. Do you want to get married? Currently engaged, so yes.

75. What is your crush’s first and last initial? WI

76. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yes.

78. What color looks best on you? Red.

79. Do you miss anyone right now? Oof… too soon… Well, I miss the person I thought he was, not him... does that count?

80. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open. If my cats can’t sleep with me, they bring hell.

81. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes… and no. It’s hard to explain.

82. What is your biggest pet peeve? Someone telling me to go do something when I'm already doing it or was on my way to do it.

83. Last person you called? The fiancé.

84. Favorite ice cream flavor? Moose Tracks or Vanilla.

85. Regular Oreo's or golden Oreo's? Regular double stuffed or nothing.

86. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow.

87. What shirt are you wearing? My old marching band shirt.

89. What is your phone background?

Created by this artist.

90. Are you outgoing or shy? Depends on situation. If I'm comfortable, I'm outgoing. If I’m not, I'm quiet and shy.

91. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes, but my hair is curly and it frizzes up when people run their fingers through it so no.

92. Do you like your neighbors? Yeah, they’re okay.

93. Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning? I wash my face every night before bed.

94. Have you ever been high? Nope.

95. Have you ever been drunk? Yes.

96. Last thing you ate? Homemade air-fried popcorn chicken. Made it myself and it was delicious.

97. Favorite lyrics right now? “It’s OK not to be OK.”

98. Summer or winter? Summer!

99. Day or Night? Night!

100. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk!

101. Favorite month? June.

102. What is your zodiac sign? Gemini.

103. Who was the last person you cried in front of? The fiancé.

[my-insanity-is-irrelevant]

You already knooooooow what's up! all of unusual asks my dude

firstly, i hate you lots of love

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? spotify

is your room messy or clean? messy af

what color are your eyes? green

do you like your name? why? I find it to be boring

what is your relationship status? single af rn

describe your personality in 3 words or less. weird and ambivalent

what color hair do you have? blue but im a natural redish head

what kind of car do you drive? color? baby blue Oldsmobile

where do you shop?  kroger

how would you describe your style? girly punk lesbian trash

favorite social media account? My nsfw tumblr

what size bed do you have? full

any siblings? 3 sisters 2 brothers

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Northern California bc im a west coast kind of gal and i like the cold and rain

favorite snapchat filter? the one with the glasses and freckles

favorite makeup brand(s)? Nyx

how many times a week do you shower? 4ish

favorite tv show? Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood

shoe size? 10 in ladies 

how tall are you? 5′ 6′’

sandals or sneakers? sandals i hate shoes

do you go to the gym? noooooope

describe your dream date. Buy me sushi and lay in bed with me and pretend to watch a movie while we make out

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? 3-4 dollars

what color socks are you wearing? black

how many pillows do you sleep with? 8

do you have a job? what do you do? Im a server at a cute lil restaurant 

how many friends do you have? a max of 10 but im only close to like 3

whats the worst thing you have ever done? didnt text my best friend back on the night of his suicide

whats your favorite candle scent? apple cinnamon 

3 favorite boy names? Nathaniel, Simon, Jace

3 favorite girl names? Daisy, Ella, Calliope 

favorite actor? Jason Momoa

favorite actress? Ellen Page

who is your celebrity crush? Ellen Page

favorite movie? What We Do In The Shadows

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to, The Kite Runner

money or brains? money, i got bills to pay

do you have a nickname? what is it? Em, Emma, Dissapointment

how many times have you been to the hospital? ive only been twice for myself but practically lived up there while my mom was sick

top 10 favorite songs. thats too much of a total discussion, which id be happy to have is someone pms me about my music tastes

do you take any medications daily? nope

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) neither?

what is your biggest fear? being totally without anyone to love me

how many kids do you want? none

whats your go to hair style? i just let is dry bc its too short to necessarily style

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) a small farm house

who is your role model? Billie Joe Armstrong

what was the last compliment you received? @lisathecreep called me a godess

what was the last text you sent? I was telling one of My Boys about a cute rat video

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? i dont ever remember believing in him

what is your dream car? a vintage convertible bug, pastel pink

opinion on smoking? cigarettes stink and give you cancer but weed is lit

do you go to college? no

what is your dream job? working with ceramics

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? rural

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no bc im picky about my shampoo and conditioner so i wont use them

do you have freckles? toooons

do you smile for pictures? occasionally

how many pictures do you have on your phone? a few hundred

have you ever peed in the woods? yes

do you still watch cartoons? yes

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? mcdonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? bbq

what do you wear to bed? panties and a large shirt, if that

have you ever won a spelling bee? no im shit at spelling

what are your hobbies? sleeping

can you draw? sometimes, if the stars are aligned

do you play an instrument? no

what was the last concert you saw? Never Shout Never at warped tour

tea or coffee? tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? dunkin donuts

do you want to get married? no but i want a wedding

what is your crush’s first and last initial? no clue

are you going to change your last name when you get married? no

what color looks best on you? green

do you miss anyone right now? yes, my ex cause im pathetic

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? yes 

what is your biggest pet peeve? people correcting harmless mistakes like theyre a big deal

last person you called` My Boy Eli

favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? niether

what shirt are you wearing? a pink velvet crop top

what is your phone background? a painting of flowers

are you outgoing or shy? both, it just depends on the atmosphere

do you like it when people play with your hair? i absolutly love it

do you like your neighbors? i dont have any

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? at night 

have you ever been high? i am right now

have you ever been drunk? yes

last thing you ate? pizza

favorite lyrics right now? well im drunk again and youre guilty like youre  irish catholic

summer or winter? winter

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? white

favorite month? october

what is your zodiac sign? libra

who was the last person you cried in front of? my ex

[mumblings-of-a-fangirl]

FLASHFIC: Lockwood&Co: the Empty Grave-Madame La Belle: An Embrace

A head canon during the moments of the Madame La Belle case in the Empty Grave, in Lockwood’s perspective. I have embellished here and there on the events. Hope you enjoy!

Tufnell's theatre had grown silent within the last few hours. The team had split off from one another to cover more ground, they stayed near for sometime, due to Holly and Kipps’ interaction with Madame La Belle’s ghost, but eventually gone further off. Lockwood and Kipps patrolled together for some time, while Lucy and the others were on their own. Lockwood figured the experience with the mermaid tank rattled poor Kipps, so he let it slide.

Poor chap.

After Kipps mustered up some courage, he’d gone his separate ways. Lockwood gone down into the basement, where some girls had claimed they’d saw the ghost wander before, but saw nothing as of then. It was quiet, still, and just a little uneasy to him. Sure, he saw Death Glows here and there, but they weren’t bright. There was just something about that stillness that sent him on edge. It reminded him of the time that he and Lucy spent on the Other Side, of how still and cold it was.

That experience wasn't something he thought light of or even often. Hell, Lucy and him hardly talked about it. Lucy… another reason he didn’t like that still feeling, it reminded him of the moments, those split moments when he hadn’t felt her behind him as they ran across the green on the Other Side. It was the time when Lucy’s Spirit Cape had torn and she was bare to the elements of the Other Side.

When Lockwood had realized she wasn’t following him, he instantly scrambled back and saw the still, graying figure on the ground. She was covered in a sheen of ice and she wasn’t breathing. Lucy’s large, brown eyes wide open and staring ahead. For that split second, Lockwood’s entire world tilted and fell away. He called out and ran to her side, he grabbed her and pulled her up and against him underneath the cape. For a second or two, she didn’t breathe or react. He held her tight, rubbed his freehand over her arms, an attempt to coax the warmth of life back into her. When she gasped, Lockwood’s heart sang, he gripped her tighter to him, their faces were so close, but he wanted her closer, then again he wanted to turn her away, fear that the proximity wasn’t welcomed.

All the same, Lockwood detested anything that reminded him of those horrid moments. The moments he had thought he’d lost Lucy. The same moments that what was left of his fragile heart shattered into a million pieces and were irreparable.

Dear God, he hated this theater just for the reminder. His mind often wandered to how Lucy was doing, or that if the theatre affected her, or that she was safe enough…

“Lockwood,” there was a low, familiar chuckle. “Where are you, Lockwood?”

Lockwood tilted his head in question at the voice. “Luce? Is that you? Why are you down here? Did something happen?”

“Don’t be stupid, Lockwood; I would have already told you if I did see something.” she said in that gravelly voice that sent a thrill of pleasure through him. His heart clenched, suddenly, whatever gap there was between them in that moment hurt.

“Then why are you here? Where are you?” Lockwood asked.

“Over here, come here, please.”

“Lucy…” he hesitated, but the tug of need to be with her yanked, and his feet was moving on their own fruition. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Holly pass the doorway, she nodded to him, and asked Lucy if she had seen George. Oddly, Lucy hadn’t answered back.

Lockwood followed the echoes of Lucy’s voice, until he found her. She wasn’t dressed in her usual leggings and skirt, nor was her hair looked as if brushed once through, but rather neatly brushed and had a shine. Lucy was in a white, cocktail gown that hung just above her knees, which clung to her every curve and emphasized them. She had grown taller within the last year, with that, she’d grown into her weight and her curves. She was lovely and all Lockwood wanted to do was to tell her just that, but not question why she was dressed so.

Although he wanted to compliment her, the words never formed, like they often did whenever it concerned Lucy, instead he just wanted to show her. To wrap his arms around her, to memorize her warmth and shape against him. Mostly, he just wanted to--

“Come here, Lockwood.” her voice called out to him. “Come to the stage. I have something to show you.” her hand reached forward, coaxing him.

With that, she began to walk in the direction of the stage and he followed without hesitance. He watched how her hips swayed from side-to-side, how the dress flowed with every step. He meant it when he said that she was born for dress up gatherings, the way dresses suited her, and the way she could own a room with her presence. Lockwood knew that Lucy didn’t realize this either, nor really cared about such. She’d rather have a dirty old jacket and muddy boots. Not a girly bone in her body.

Oh, God, her body. She wasn’t aware of her beauty, and that made her even more beautiful to him. Sure, she wasn’t Penelope Fittes beautiful, but she was Lucy Joan Carlyle beautiful, she was her own beauty. He was distinctly aware of her beauty just the other day, with how Mr. Tuffnell’s eyes lingered over her, drawn to the width of her hips. The man had a thing for girls’ with large thighs, he hinted as much by mentioning one of his workers. He also had the gumption to insinuate that he could give her--and Holly a job at his show. Lockwood wanted to hit the fat bloke’s face in for that.

They’d reached the stage by this time, Lucy walked over to the center of it and stood. There was a draft there, which blew the skirt of her dress and hair over to the side. Lockwood’s breath caught at the sight. Since when did he become so captured by this girl? Recently? No. Since they first met? Possibly. How could one tell the exact moment that they became someone else’s? That’s what Lockwood was, he was Lucy’s, if she wanted him, if he ever grew a nerve to tell her as much. To tell her that he was undoubtedly devoted only to her, and could never imagine another in her place. However, having mostly grown up without much parental guidance, let alone someone to converse about romance, Lockwood’s amount of a romantic bone was close to nill.

He was just as hopeless in romance as he was hopelessly lost in his feelings for her.

In that moment, the tug of the distance grew unbearable, he wanted her in his arms. If he didn’t soon, it would be the end of him. He took another step forward, then another, and another. His steps heavy, his muscles tired, but he didn’t care. He knew he’d find relief once his arms were around Lucy.

Something tore through the air and slashed Lucy across the neck. Lockwood’s heart stuttered in place, as he watched Lucy’s head nearly topple off her shoulders, blood oozed down the front of her white dress. He wanted to move, he wanted to go to her, hold her, but his feet were stuck in place. Dear God, he just watched the woman he loved murdered in front of his own eyes, and he couldn’t move an inch.

His fault. His fault. Despair wailed into him. Another loved one died because of him. Jessica...and now Lucy...how could he live with himself? In fact, he wasn’t going to live at all. That was his plan. But first...he needed to be with her.

His feet began to move again, closer, closer, and closer still. There was a pressure of his chest, pushing him back, but he kept forward, desperate to hold Lucy’s still form in his arms. All he ever wanted was her, and now she’s gone. Gone in a blink of the eye. He couldn’t even cry or scream, he was just dead and cold.

“Lockwood!” her voice cried out to him, although he saw her head on the floor, staring blankly up at him. “It’s me! It’s Lucy!”

I am looking at you, Lucy; I am coming to you. was what he wanted to say, but the words fell on still lips. I’ve always looked at you, even when you weren’t looking, did you know that? He admitted to himself. You captured me with your presence. I could hardly ever take my eyes off you, even now. His throat clenched tight.

How could he go another moment without seeing her? After this, her body would go in the ground, behind many wards, just like his parents and sister. God, he’d pray for the day to see her ghost, but he won’t last that long, he guaranteed it.

“Holly, please hurry!” Lucy cried out. “I’m losing him!”

“I am hurrying!” Holly called back.

Lockwood felt warmth on his hand. No more pushing, but desperate comfort and warmth. That got his attention, he drew his eyes from the blank eyed corpse of Lucy and looked in front of him. The image is distant, as if blurred and unfocused. He fought hard to see through it, until finally a shape formed: brown, pleading eyes, sulky lips, and those little, light freckled across her nose: Lucy. His heart leapt with both joy and relief.

“Hey Luce.” he said simply with a grin, realization ebbed its way back to him.

Lucy’s eyes, wet with unshed tears, spilled over, and a flash of anger gone through her features. He felt the slap before he realized that it was a slap, then before he could recover, there was another on the other side to match it. Lockwood took a back for a moment, reeling that Lucy both shed tears and slapped him in the same moment over him. He wasn’t angry at her, in fact, he was angry with himself, as he realized at what just happened.

His knees buckled, drained. Lucy gone down with him too, she clung to his lapels, sobbing lightly. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.” she gasped. “I-I thought I was going to lose you.”

He wanted to tell her the same, but chose to stay silent, instead, he reached around her waist and pulled her into an embrace. Oddly, what started this whole ordeal was his sole desire to hold her, and now he was, and she was shaking and sobbing against his neck. Then her arms went slack around him and her sobs quieted.

“Lucy?” Lockwood asked, leaning from her slightly, but there was no response. “Lucy!”

She had gone limp against him, her brow furrowed, face pale. “Shh, I’m okay, just tired.” she groaned. “She took a lot out of me.” her voice was faint, tired, like years had been drawn from her. “You took a lot out of me.” she gave a hoarse chuckle at that.

“I’m sorry.” was all Lockwood could say as he held her, her head rested against his shoulder. “Just rest for a bit. George, Kipps, and Holly have the rest.”

“What about you?” her eyelashes fluttered.

Lockwood grinned down at her. “Well, I have you, that alone is a big job.”

She forced a glare on her tired face. “I’d slap you again if I had the energy.”

“I know you would.” just the thought of her slapping him again stung. “That bloody hurt by the way.”

“Good.” she grinned.

“Not good, what if there’s reporters later?”

“Well, you’ll have a healthy flush in shape of hands.”

“Not funny.”

“So is.”

They laughed at that for a few moments, and Lucy gone still, resting her eyes, her weight and warmth against him. Guilt had struck him, as he looked up where she had come from. She had used the trapeze and leapt off the balcony above. Lockwood knew that Lucy hated heights and it took a toll on her nerve to commit to such an action. Yet still...she was his hero. 

Simple as that. All Lockwood wanted to do was hold Lucy that night, it took a Specter in form of Lucy, and Lucy slicing through the air to save him from said Specter. He savored every moment of it, because he never knew when it would be his last. 

As time moved forward, the desire of her in his arms still burned, but another replaced it. His hunger for her presence would never be satisfied, and Lockwood was fine with that, in fact, it excited him.

[theskyisneveralwaysblue]

July 2020 - Are You Relieved?

“Are you relieved?” a friend asked me. I paused in the moment and replied “Yes”. It has been seven months since walking away from what was an incredibly draining toxic four year relationship. I always felt that, that was as good as it would get - having dated over the last ten years I realised I settled for something less because I strongly felt that it will never get better. The repetition of mental abuse was high and I don’t know why I couldn’t have been stronger and walked away earlier on in the relationship. I suppose after being hurt multiple times previously I just felt that it was a new normal to a degree and the more I reflect on it I really just wanted to see the good in him and see him change like he kept promising he would. How many times have you put yourself out there on a Dating app and you have had a conversation with someone and they have ghosted you, or you have met them and realised they really aren’t quite what you are looking for but you’re unsure of how to approach the topic and tell them so you just distance yourself from them? How many people do you connect with on the Dating apps? Do you meet with multiple people from the dating app within a space of a week, fortnight or month? Are you upfront about what you are looking for on the Dating app with people so that they are aware of where they stand with you from the get go? How many of those dates or hook ups have gone absolutely pear shaped? Do you honestly think you will meet someone worthwhile through those apps? I got back on Tinder not long after splitting from my ex because I felt that I needed to throw myself into the deep end and of course as we have all previously heard “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone”. I had many burnt out conversations - I became bored very quickly talking to different men, it all just really felt the same. Time and time again I kept asking myself “What the fuck are you doing?”. I met one guy and I tried. I really did try. I felt like nothing could really go wrong and I explained my expectations and where I felt that I was in that point in time - I am still hurting, I’ve just been gaslighted for the past four years, I put all my trust into someone who could not respect me or boundaries for a long time so please do not think that I am prepared for anything serious because I really am not - what an absolute fuck up that was. Despite being so honest it turned into a quick lived toxic mess which I fleetingly slammed the brakes on to bring it to a screeching halt. I was constantly agitated by the presence of this guy because he was always there. He was nice but I was not ready at all for anything - I made a point to recap this when I felt like I had to and to make sure that I was getting the reassurance from him that we were on the same page. He was always at my house, always touching me - he felt like velcro - like as if I had to peel him off of me, always wanting to share the shower, always wanting to sleep over - Look I am flattered if a guy wants to shower me with constant affection however, I don’t like to feel like I need saving. I am constantly looking ahead and wanting to better myself but it is always such a slow progress - as it is for anyone no matter what kind of challenge/struggle they are facing. But my lord I just always felt so awkward - I just wanted to be a whore and get on with this process of forgetting McFuckface (my ex - who will formally be known as “McFuckface” throughout the entirety of this blog because I have nothing positive for him).

After feeling like I had screamed from the rooftops multiple times of where I felt this was heading I suggested space so I could take some “Me Time” - and by “Me Time” I meant being able to just go do basic girly shit that girls enjoy doing in their down time. I felt like I had lacked in femininity and I just had given up on myself. I wanted to get back into my health and fitness and not have to rely on waiting for someone else until I could cook or decide what to have for dinner, I was sick of getting in the shower and having to share that space with another person - obviously this is different if I’m into the person but I really wasn’t feeling it. Yes; I also wanted to keep my options open. I tried talking to men on Bumble, Tinder and POF but I just constantly felt this consistency of feeling annoyed. The idea of meeting up with a guy felt like a fucking task. I became agitated when the messages started constantly flowing in almost on a daily basis from this guy after asking for some space - “Can we please hang out today?”, “Can we please hang out tonight?”, “Can I please come pick you up from work?” - I got to the point where I was opening the messages and not responding - yes this also pisses me off when it’s done to me - but if I’ve already asserted where I stand with someone from the beginning I feel like this does not warrant them further explanation. I messaged a guy on Bumble and his response to me was “Oh I guess this is the longest conversation you have had with anyone all day” and I responded with “What the fuck does that even mean?” and he replied with “Well you haven’t been talking to my mate that you’ve been seeing”. Instant fucking collateral damage. I blew up and I just could not help myself - I spoke my mind in the heat of the moment and had to politely yet bluntly remind this guy what I said I wanted from the beginning and that I had asked for space but the constant messages on the daily were driving me up the fucking wall. He freaked and said I was ghosting him and I reminded him that messaging me daily after asking for space does not help him at all. A week went by and I finally responded and told him I don’t think it would be appropriate for us to keep seeing each other anymore because we clearly had different agendas. I will slyly point out that he is 18 and I am 28. So perhaps a 10 year age gap is not really the most appropriate thing for any kind of “Fuck buddy” relationship. I remember confiding to a friend about it and he said “That poor man, you’re gonna break his heart - that boy is never gonna be the same again since you fucked him” and I remember just responding with a simple “Ah fuck, he’ll be right” - I am usually the one that has a strong heart and care factor and I usually find myself in the position of wondering why am I always the one left with all the feelings and getting hurt in the end so it felt like a bit of a spin for me being in a situation of giving shit news to someone that cares more for me than I do about them. I didn’t like it but I would rather rip it off like a band aide, explain what I want whether it’s what he wants to hear or not and get on with it. Honesty is best policy and I feel like it’s something that is seriously lacking in our generation and the generation below, its becoming more prevalent for people to think that ghosting is an acceptable form of communication than rather explaining what they want.

I tried to put myself out there and meet other guys again once completely getting away from this guy. One guy wanted to strike up a FWB relationship, I wasn’t 100% sold on the idea because he had a laugh like Jimmy Carr, that makes me sound shallow as fuck but I am telling you right now - a laugh like that is dead set a mood killer mid-fuck. The second attempt at a little meet up he struggled to get it up and I just could not keep pretending to be into it, I really just was not into him at all. Selfishly I arranged a second booty call that night after he left and that just turned out to be a complete nightmare because he couldn’t figure out how to get it in and I just was not up to putting on the disco lights, pretending to be Harold the Giraffe and deliver a sex ed lesson in my bedroom at 11pm at night with a 25 year old male. I laid there frustrated staring at the ceiling while he slept and I could not wait for him to leave. 

I continued to scope out the dating apps and I just felt more and more disinterested. The world is your oyster and clearly if you’re a female on a dating app you hold the cards on your DTF decision making. I got sick of reading the same stupid tag lines on Tinder, POF was freaking me out, and well Bumble was just bat shit boring. No riveting embarrassing dating stories to tell and amazingly after a double whammy I kept it in my pants. I’m a new woman - not like the hot mess I was prior to McFuckface for several years. 

Unfortunately my Tinder bio went viral on a satire military page which saw a herd of disgruntled men comment on it but I nonetheless enjoyed responding to some comments because 0 fucks were given - One ex went as far as to claim he once got me fired from a job... I laughed because that could not have been further from the truth - he in fact did not... I had a midlife crisis and I was doing a trial shift at a barber salon and he walked in and I remember saying out loud “You literally have no hair to cut” - I dead set have no filter sometimes, especially when it comes to someone that has just done nothing but hurt and fuck me off at some point in life with no apologies for wasting my time. I gleefully left that trial shift to go watch the latest Star Wars film at the time and I never looked back. Naturally McFuckface liked the comment. I thoroughly enjoyed knowing that he had seen my Tinder bio and was now aware of the description he had been dubbed: “Racoon eyed spitball grunt”. It is ridiculously petty but that was the point we had gotten to. Every day I am so grateful that we never had children especially after listening to him make threats for several years saying “If you fall pregnant I’m leaving you”, “If you fall pregnant get rid of it”.

Time heals all wounds and I feel as though I am getting there, I keep putting myself first and looking ahead for what I can do to better myself mentally and emotionally. I know that I am probably not going to be the easiest woman for any guy that I start dating, because of all the shit I put up with from the previous relationship and all the mud I was dragged through. My ability to trust is getting there but I still have my doubts. I don’t want to be that annoying female that constantly requires reassurance but I do feel as though I need things to be put to me and said in black and white. My anxiety levels can be very up and down and but I do this thing where I just maintain this poker face so I’m not stressing everyone else out around me. After meeting up with four guys from dating sites I did meet with one guy from POF. He has a really kind nature about him, it turns out we had a bit in common and I liked that a lot. It was after we hung out the first time I removed myself from the dating apps, I suppose I just didn’t want to give off the wrong impression. Knowing that we had crossed paths for a long time in our childhood made me feel grounded for once. For the first time in a long time I started to reflect on what I want out of life - I want a new career, I want a relationship with someone that I have common ground with, I don’t want to be on dating sites making pathetic small talk with random men, I’m certain I want kids one day maybe one or two - I don’t know if I want to get married, I think about all the things I went through with McFuckface and I am so grateful that children were not caught up in it and that I did not have to go through a divorce with him - I had a lot of sleepless nights wondering what the fuck I was doing with my life in that relationship and I look back on photos from then and I don’t think there is a single photo where I am smiling. I can feel myself starting fresh and it’s one of the best feelings I have felt in such a long time. The best part about going to bed now for me is I don’t lay there staring at my reflection in the mirror crying wondering what is wrong with me and asking myself a thousand questions and second questioning everything about him and myself. I don’t lock myself away in the bathroom for hours on end standing under a hot shower crying and thinking that I am not a worthy person. The idea of self harm had entered my mind on several occasions because I felt like nothing would be better and I felt that I had a lot wrong with me from the way he would beat me down regularly with his words. I’m certainly the kind of person who needs a release when dealing with a deep pain and I dealt with it by getting piercings - the sharp pain is quick but it is certainly a distraction. Now it all just feels like a distant bad memory. I don’t want him ruling my life anymore and it was a hard pill to swallow when I realised to an extent he was still ruling my life because I couldn’t stop talking about all the shit he did.  

I am so grateful for the friends who stayed by my side throughout the last four years and the newfound support from some people who I was able to reconnect with from school and other walks of life - and a select couple of newfound friends. I took the steps to start seeing a psychologist to deal with it. I strongly encourage anyone who is going through a difficult time to open up to a trusted friend or seek professional help from a psychologist.I’m doing what I can to stay strong during any point in time in which I feel my anxiety and stress levels peaking. COVID-19 has been a bit of a fuck around for a lot of people in 2020 - fortunately for me it worked in my favour. I was stood down from work and I stayed at home focusing on my mental health, I started cooking, getting back into dieting and exercising, spending more time with my dogs, watching movies and tv series. It’s taken some time but I have seen a change in the way I smile in photos and my face in general, I’m finally losing the weight I’ve been trying to lose over the last 3 years. I know deep down that if I do meet someone and strike a relationship up with them they will be so appreciated, supported and loved.

Change is coming and I can’t wait, this is just the beginning.  

[arwenkaboom]

Day 3: Darkest Moment

It was really going to be a bright moment, but yeah here we are.

AO3 link maybe its easier to read it there 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11317119/chapters/25345842 

Sara was enjoying her morning coffee in her room on the Tempest. Looking at the stars passing by as they were in FTL. Her eyes gazed at the little dots making long lines, she remembered that one of them has her name. She’d just leave Kadara and already she missed him too much.

“Good morning Pathfinder.”

SAM startled her as she was deep in her thoughts remembering all the sweet moments up on that mountain. Her coffee almost spilled on her as she shook.

“You have a new email Pathfinder, I advise you to read it at once.”

Sara raised her eyebrow and nodded. Her omni tool opened and she felt fear in her guts as she read the email. It was from Keema she urged her to come back to Kadara because there’s something wrong with Reyes. Keema didn’t go to detail and maybe that’s what scared Sara so much, not knowing. She left just two days ago, what could have possibly happen to him. Was he sick? He looked fine back then, more than fine.

She didn’t dwell on it for too long, whatever it is, she is going back to Kadara.

“Suvi, Kallo! We are changing the course for Kadara right now. We need to get there as soon as possible.”

They both were confused as they had clear mission ahead of them. But Archon will have to wait, even though she wanted to find him before he did more damage to Heleus, her heart was telling her to go back to Kadara.

She paced around bridge like a caged animal, mumbling something to herself, distracting everyone around her.

“Are you okay Sara?” Suvi stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Something is wrong isn’t it? That’s why we are going back. Did the bad boy do something?” She asked her calmly, like she expected trouble from him.

“No, no… I don’t know. I got an email from Keema telling me there’s something wrong with him. I’m fearing the worst. I sent her back an email but she is not answering.”

“Sara, you should go lay down, we are still far away from Kadara, you can’t pace around here for two days.”

Suvi pleaded with her as well as threating her with calling Lexi. Sara complied, not willingly, but she knew Suvi was right.

Back in her bedroom Sara was eyeing coffee that went cold by now. How did this happen? An hour ago I was happy and now I don’t know what is going on.

“Pathfinder, you have received an email from Keema. Maybe she will shed some light on the situation.” SAM informed her.

Her mind spinning, she felt slight weakness in her hands as she was opening it. What am I going to find? I hope he is alright, please don’t let him be hurt, I wouldn’t handle it. Sara’s mind running hundred thoughts at once.

 -----

To: Sara

From: Keema

  Ryder,

  Reyes is in his room, refusing to come out, or speak to anyone.

  He had an argument with someone at Tartarus last night, that’s all i know, and   since then he is acting weird.

  I have never seen him like this.

  I’m hoping you can kick some sense into him.

   - Keema

-----

Sara felt relieved and confused at the same time. It’s only some argument he had, he is fine. But with who?  Keema didn’t specify anything. Some Charlatan business maybe? Sloane’s outcasts making trouble again? No if that was the case Reyes would just act on it and fix it, this was something else, something personal. She feared it could some ex, what if… “No! Sara stop!” She screamed at herself. “You’ll drive yourself crazy until you land! Just go to sleep, he is not in danger at least.” Shaking her hands like she was trying to convince herself.

Sara managed to stay sane those two damn days spending it in a company of her crew, in hopes she could kill time and put her mind at ease. Some poker with Gil, this time she wasn’t in the mood to cheat. Exercise with Liam, which she really wasn’t in the mood for. She helped Cora to plant new sample they picked up on Kadara. Peebee asked her to join her in some zero-G adventure in her escape pod. And Drack would let her headbutt him, and as she was getting ready to do it, she heard Suvi over the comm.  

“Now orbiting Kadara.”

Sara ran to bridge, to see Tempest entering atmosphere. Her heart started jumping, pounding like she didn’t see him for years, not just few days. The anticipation is over, she can finally face whatever she is about to walk to. 

Keema was waiting for the Tempest to land, standing next to the door. Seeing her Sara rushed towards Keema.

“Come Ryder, I’ll take you to him.”

While they were walking Keema let out a few details about what happened. “One of the dancer saw them fighting, Reyes was furious. Seemed like a man that Reyes had fight with later got drunk.” Keema stopped for a second. “Ryder, please help him, whatever is going on.” Sara nodded and gave a reassuring smile. They approached the room and Sara was leaning on the door, hoping she might hear something... she pounded a few times.

“Go away Keema!”

Reyes was yelling his lungs out, Keema gave Sara a sad look right before she lowered her head, and went away. Poor Keema, who knows how many times she tried to talk to him.

“It’s me Reyes, Sara.. your... dancing star. Please open the door.”

Her voice shivering, but also longing. Door whooshed and he was standing there with his hands on the hinges, like he has seen a ghost. He couldn’t believe his ears at first, but now that he sees her, he was so surprised. She left four days ago, how come she is here? He let this thought go through his mind before realizing Keema probably called her. He pulled her close, kissing her soft lips and gripping her tight that she’d stop breathing for a moment. Oh did he love Keema for being so stubborn right now.

They came in and door closed behind them. Sara quickly scoped the room to see several items broken by the night stand, bed sheets all rumpled and twisted, thrown all around the room. The bathroom was letting out some sour smell. Did he puke? He got drunk? But he knew how to hold his drink. Has to be something else. Sara didn’t really know what to think.

She sat next to him on the couch, he buried his head in his hands and let out a loud sob that made his whole body shiver. Sara held her hand on his back stroking him at the base of his neck. She leaned forward. 

“Reyes tell me what’s wrong? Keema said you had a fight in Tartarus. Do you wish to talk about it?”

He raised his head looking at her, with a fear and sadness in his eyes.

“I did something stupid thinking it’s the right thing to do.” He stood up looking away from her, he shook his head. “Damn was the day I became Charlatan! Damn was the day I got the power!” He looked back at her, and fell on his knees in front of her, he carefully took her hand in his. He was ready to tell her the truth.

While he was in Aliance, Reyes met a guy named Hugo, a shy kid that ended up in the academy to please his parents. Hugo was an artistic soul, gentle, almost girly, but that was the bane of his family that held the honor of five generations of solders. They wanted him to toughen up. Reyes felt bad for him, because he himself was something else, no one could tell him what do, knowing what freedom tasted, how sweet it was, Reyes wouldn’t let this kid lose it completely so young. Hugo drew most beautiful landscapes and portraits and Reyes was more than willing to be his model. He’d hang a few in his apartment, specially the naked ones, ladies would go mad.

Out there in the field, he would keep a close eye on him, protecting him. When Hugo was shot by Vorcha, Reyes wouldn’t leave his side, he’d sleep on a chair for five days, until Hugo woke up, he felt responsible for him. If he didn’t give a damn, that kid would have no one. They developed a strong bond, a friendship that made Reyes a better man. It would make him care for this kid as his parents should. Love him.

As Reyes wouldn’t give up his womanizer role, back then he was very proud of it, it was bound that one day some mad husband is going to knock on his door. He just didn’t expect his commander to be the one. Reyes would curse a thousand time in his head. You had to be a gigolo at the New Years Aliance party. But damn was she irresistible in that red dress. After being dishonorably kicked out of Aliance, Hugo followed him, making his parents mad. Without jobs and money they agreed it’s time to move. The Andromeda Initiative was perfect opportunity.

“WHAT?!” Sara said in a surprise. “Where is he now Reyes?” She started piecing things together. Was he the one Reyes had fight with? He had to be. What was it about? Something important to hurt Reyes this much.

“He came with you, on Hyperion.”

Okay Sara your logic is dead wrong here, what the hell happened then? If not Hugo, who is the guy Reyes fought with?

“I just thought with an outpost here, and Kadara being as safe as it could be, he would enjoy the beautiful view, he could be someone here. I was greedy, I needed him, I was afraid when the time comes for him to wake up, I'd be old and not able to take care of him.”

Reyes stood up, almost mad. His muscles cramping. Eyes squinting. He started pacing and explaining, shaking his hands in short and firm motion.

“I told him not to write artist on his application! I told him soldier or pilot is better.” He would probably be among the first ones to wake up, artists were merely at the end of the list. “He wanted to start fresh, not to hide his true ambitions from anyone. He wanted to be someone else, someone he couldn’t be back on Earth. And I let him, argh! That stupid kid.”

“Why didn’t you say something before?! I can pull some strings at Nexus.” 

How could he ask that of her? Some eyebrows would rise and she could lose her respect, maybe even a tittle. No he would never ask that of her. She was better than to do that, to do.. what he did.

His watery eyes met hers and he looked at her like he is asking her to save him, to make it all go away. He sat in the chair, looking at her eyes, all so understanding, smiling at him, full of love, something so pure in them. How was he going to tell her this? He gathered some courage as he lowered his head down, not able to look her in the eyes anymore. Oh those ocean blue eyes...

“We smuggled his stasis pod of Hyperion…”

She gasped looking at him in disbelief. He did not do that. How could he?! Not to me. 

“…on their way here, they encountered a Kett vessel and… and his pod was damaged”

Reyes paused, his face succumbed to pain as he let out a loud roar.

“He died in that pod! Oh god Sara, I killed him!”