#GENUINE VOCAL SYNTH ALBUM OF ALL TIME AND THE BAND VERSIONS ARE AWESOME TOO AND ITS NASHIMOTO UI AND YM AND IT RULES

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 27th October 2019

Top 10

For the fourth consecutive week, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I reigns at the top of the UK Top 40, which is still impressive to me as I see little appeal in the song but it is starting to grow on me a bit. I could see myself finding this pretty damn good in the foreseeable future, but for now I don’t really have a strong opinion on it, and my opinion could sway either way by the end of the year.

Yeah, this is a pretty slow week, as you can tell by our top 10, at least the top half. “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean is a non-mover at the runner-up spot.

“Circles” by Post Malone has a new peak at number-three, up one space from last week.

Up three spaces this week into the top five at number-four is potential future #1, “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B. I hope this doesn’t hit #1 but I feel like it’s inevitable.

“HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott is surprisingly stable at number-five.

Lewis Capaldi’s “Bruises” has a single push up three spaces to number-six.

“Outnumbered” by Dermot Kennedy has an unexpected one-space fall down to number-seven, probably thanks to the rise of “Bruises” and “South of the Border”.

I guess our first interesting song of note here is “Buss Down” by Aitch featuring ZieZie, as the song enters the top 10 after a three-space boost to number-eight. It becomes Aitch’s fourth UK Top 10 hit and ZieZie’s first ever. Congratulations, even if I’m not a fan of the song.

“Be Honest” by Jorja Smith featuring Burna Boy is down a space to number-nine.

Oh, and a shocking nine-space increase for “Memories” by Maroon 5 leads it to #10, which astonished me. Regardless, it’s Adam Levine’s eleventh UK Top 10 success with the support of his “band”, and I can’t really complain. The song’s inoffensive.

Climbers

There isn’t much here to care about, in fact there’s barely anything notable here. MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill are up 18 spaces off of the debut with “Lose Control” at #15, which was unexpected, but when the chart is weak and stagnant it’s not really a surprise that uninteresting songs will have success: see “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi hitting #1 in the US. Elsewhere on the chart, “Playing Games” by Summer Walker with an extended version featuring Bryson Tiller is up six positions to #24 out of nowhere, and “Graveyard” by Halsey is up seven spaces to #29 for whatever reason and I’m not exactly ecstatic about that, the song’s pathetic.

Fallers

Our climbers seem pitiful so there must be a lot of fallers, right? Well, no, it seems relatively quiet here too, although arguably our biggest news here comes from the collapse of Harry Styles’ lead single “Lights Up”, which I found to be very disappointing and increasingly dull, down eight spaces off of the #3 debut to #11, which is pretty concerning for Harry’s new album roll-out. Also within the top 20 is “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy and remixed by Sir Spyro featuring Aitch and Jaykae, slowly making its way out, down five spaces to #19 this week. Speaking of smash hits exiting, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello is down seven spots to #34 as well, and off of the debut, “47” by Sidhu Moose Wala, MIST, Steel Banglez and Stefflon Don, has taken a massive plunge down 21 spaces to #38. Other than that, there’s nothing to discuss here.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

There are some notable drop-outs here, most importantly “RAN$OM” by Lil Tecca finally exiting from #40, although I feel this might return to the top 40 sometime soon. These are pretty premature dropouts I’d like to say, although I may be underestimating the song’s longevity on the chart as these weeks do start to blend together. “How Do You Sleep?” by Sam Smith is out from #39, and thanks to streaming cuts and dumb UK chart rules, “Both” by Headie One is out from #13, but that’s all as there are no returning entries.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “The Last Time” – The Script

Produced by Danny O’Donaghue, Jimbo Barry, Mark Sheehan and Samuel Tsang – Peaked at #1 in Scotland

The Script are a boyband turned semi-serious pop rock band, and I have no interest in them, but they’re always just... there, but I guess that also means that I have no complains towards them either. Using that flawed logic, I should be very excited for this new lead single and their eleventh UK Top 40 hit, but hence as the ancient scriptures foretold, I don’t care at all about this new single and there’s not much quality here to care about in the first place. This has actually been out for a while, and I understand how long it took to catch on as it’s not very unique, with some nondescript guitar behind Danny O’Donaghue’s pretty decent voice but not a particularly impressive showcase of their talents, especially since all of this instrumental sounds like a reverb-drowned FL Studio project file, yet the drums feel intrusive more often than not and the sequencing is off around the chorus, even if the section where the drums come in is kind of cool and reminiscent of the arena rock feel they really wanted to go for... but then O’Donaghue goes for a butchered triplet flow in the bridge... and, yeah, this isn’t good, but I don’t think it’s all that bad at least, it’s just I’m finding it difficult to write the description here, since there’s nothing out of the ordinary here for typical 2010s pop-rock. It sure is listenable, and I guess that’s better than it could be.

#33 – “This is Real” – Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson

Produced by Jax Jones, Mark Ralph and Tommy Forest

Alright, this is pretty routine for us at this point. Jax Jones has a new single, it’s his eleventh to hit the UK Top 40, and it features a performance from Ella Henderson, who I personally haven’t heard of since “Ghost”, which is a pretty awesome song... but I’m still not excited for Henderson nabbing her sixth UK Top 40 hit, as I know she’ll make sure her performance is as generic as possible for another house-pop song. I’m actually pleasantly surprised here, since she didn’t, really. In fact, despite her vocals being heavily-processed, she does remind me of a 90s house diva, and I’m half-expecting her to belt “You’ve got to show me love” in the chorus, the beat on the other hand is nothing really special but the keys here are pretty nice and do a good job at elevating the beat with its cheap snare crashes to something that sounds pretty uplifting. The chorus and drop here are really joyful, actually, it sounds pretty fun and... that’s all I have to say. The post-chorus is a tad annoying though, but this isn’t bad at all and I’m glad Ella Henderson is back at least.

#30 – “hot girl bummer” – blackbear

produced by blackbear and fmid

this song is already at a higher peak in the uk than “hot girl summer” by megan thee stallion, nicki minaj and ty dolla $ign. disgraceful.

oh yeah, i’ve ditched the capital letters this time. blackbear doesn’t need to put in effort, so i don’t think i need to. this song is a pathetic attempt from a talentless hack and nobody to capitalise on a genuine movement. but who cares about the politics and morality of the song’s existence purely to parody the #hotgirlsummer hashtag? let’s talk about the music. okay, it’s garbage. it’s a hot mess. blackbear appropriates the movement for a bitter kiss-off anthem, which he commands you to “throw a tantrum” to, even if this is far from danceable, in fact it’s a really mopey and slow song that somehow exceeds three minutes, which is impressive for blackbear, i guess. last time i talked about him was when “do re mi” featuring gucci mane was somehow a hit in 2017, and surprise, surprise, it’s equally terrible, but it at least has a memorable hook. here i’m left with very little to like. blackbear’s vocal performance, whilst heavily auto-tuned, is longing and desperate, making his posturing sound really sad, especially with the fake finger-snaps, vague “atmospheric” trap beat with a simple, lazy 808. throughout the song, blackbear just demeans this woman for three straight minutes, it’s really cruel but his emotionless triplet flow over this childish bells and synths as well as an out of place choir sample, makes there no excuse. Even with songs i don’t like that tackle this topic and vibe, like “i fall apart” by post malone, he doesn’t take the time about how he has drip or how you can’t “fit him in a trojan”. he has an actual bridge that doesn’t feel awkward going into that final chorus. he sounds, you know, awake, and has a lot of passion in his voice that makes his equally bitter and cruel lyrics sound meaningful, when they’re really not, but it at least adds substance and perhaps even context to the narrative. whilst on “hot girl bummer”...

got an emo chick that’s broken

..what. yeah, skip this song – it’s a pretty dreadful attempt at capitalising on a trend by promoting awful, worthless trap-rap, yet somehow it charted in the top 40, his first song to do so in the uk. again, disgraceful.

Edit: listening again that choir sample is even more egregious. like really what was the point of that?

Conclusion

I guess “This is Real” is somewhat decent in comparison to pop-rock fluff and... whatever that last song is, so Jax Jones and Ella Henderson get Best of the Week here, while blackbear definitely gets Worst of the Week for “hot girl bummer”, which just makes me sick every time I hear it. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

[romanmacharoni]

The Best Songs of 2016

I know some critics say that 2016 was a bad year for music (and yes, it was, let’s be honest). We also lost quite a few great musicians too. The world won’t be the same without titans like Prince, Bowie, and George Michael. 

That doesn’t mean there wasn’t a lot of awesome music out there. Quite a few songs set fire to the charts in more ways than one and really showed us that there are diamonds in the rough. There were 15 in particular, similar to my film list for the year, so here we go. These were the best songs of 2016.

First, some honorable mentions...

“Dangerous Woman” by Ariana Grande https://open.spotify.com/track/7l94dyN2hX9c6wWcZQuOGJ

The only reason it’s not on the list itself is because of its poor sense of pace. The build is way too monotonous and slow. The chorus kills it, though, as Ariana feels right at home hitting this sweet spot on the album of the same name. 

“Chunky” by Bruno Mars https://open.spotify.com/track/0mBKv9DkYfQHjdMcw2jdyI

Bruno Mars’ newest album, 24K Magic (which title track is on the actual list, spoilers), has quite a few winners on there, but this sticks out as the second best of the album. Though it’s weird to refer to normal sized, curvy woman as ‘chunky’, it’s still a pleasant jam with a tight production as it plays to Mars’ strengths. The back-up vocals complement him well, and the keyboard adds some welcome spice to the composition.

“Adventure of a Lifetime” by Coldplay https://open.spotify.com/track/69uxyAqqPIsUyTO8txoP2M

I feel like this has become a commercial song (not that’s always a bad thing), but this is still a solid track. Delightful to listen to when you’re in a good mood. Coldplay isn’t what they used to be, but they are far from bad with this new direction. That guitar ‘drop’ if you will is trance-like and peppy. With all the slow stuff we got this year, it’s nice to have something like this on the radio. 

“The Good News” by Bloc Party https://open.spotify.com/track/3FI3nRETDMfK3z9SQwfVZr

While bright and loaded with the religion-inspired direction of Bloc Party, this song has some needed grit. Those guitar on the chorus give this track warmth and something to chew on while you’re listening. Kele’s soft vocals pair well with the strings to create something wonderful. 

“Play That Song” by Train https://open.spotify.com/track/3ZMFrvkNgwwMfPdX3aThYs

 This is what “Soul Sister” should have been. Happy, short and sweet. Not great, but still an enjoyable song. That’s probably because Pat Monahan isn’t inserting his odd lyrcial nuggets in there (See in previous songs: “I’m so gangster, I’m so thug”, “Hefty bag to hold my love”). 

“The Plain Moon” by The Besnard Lakes https://open.spotify.com/track/0p6DGv92OOuXu927xxlkmH

Call it bias (I did an article on them for coming to the Beachland Ballroom), or my apology for my editor messing up the headline for a story I did on the band (sorry again, if you’re reading this). Regardless, this song is the strongest track on “A Coliseum Complex Museum”, meshing a psychedelic flow with heavy guitars to create a haunting atmosphere. The vocals have the feel of ghosts, slowly moving in and out of the lush acoustics laid on thicker than honey. It’s a powerful jam in terms of sonics and a brilliant piece of music that honestly should have charted. Also, you can put “Towers Sent Her to Sheets of Sound”, reminiscent to a Beach Boys jam mixed with the usual psychedelic sound, on here as well. They’d be tied if this wasn’t an honorable mention.

You can read my piece on the Besnard Lakes here. 

“East Coast Girl” by Butch Walker https://open.spotify.com/track/2PMRCXna6KCB5D5EVU3hzD

 Consider this the unofficial #16 of this list. A modern fusion of personalities such as Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp collide in this cool little flashback track. Butch really projects himself in the chorus, opposed to his laid-back delivery in the verses. The storytelling feel to the verse as well places you into that throwback mood this song gives off. 

Now, onto the list...

#15 -  “Love Like That” by Mayer Hawthorne https://open.spotify.com/track/2pk8466VZtaO1QiiqaSJ8e

 I’ve been a fan of Hawthorne for a while. His use of old and new conventions to create fantastic pieces of music has been on my radar for equally as long. His appeal mimics how Chromeo came on the scene in 2014. Of his three singles released this year, “Love Like That” feels the most fitting for the radio and this list. Its crisp production is paired with a bombastic chorus and tight percussion. Mayer clearly knows what he’s doing here. A strong song to start off this list. 

#14 - “The Love Within” by Bloc Party https://open.spotify.com/track/35Qc5U57RCROGY3h2l0d51

 Bloc Party’s “Hymns”, another re-invention for the decade-and-counting post grunge Brit-punk band, begins with a looping, weaving synth. It’s met with a thudding bass drum and Kele’s voice welcoming you to their new musical direction. And then the drop hits, and you know that this will be a fun ride. Very few albums this year start out this strong. I still haven’t heard anything like this so far. It’s just fantastic, and at the same time fascinating. 

#13 - “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)” by Adele https://open.spotify.com/track/3LGxef3inmn5jMLGDz9lqw

While I did enjoy “When We Were Young” off her album “25″ a lot, “Send My Love” layers her voice beautifully and gives her a unique platform to provide her heavenly vocal work and deliver a great performance. The minimalist nature of her music is a little less evident here, but it’s not overpowering. It feels more free than her usual mega-smash hits, which is why I decided to place this track on here rather than the aforementioned “Young”. The lone guitar providing the majority of the back beat is solid and quite atmospheric. And as always, Adele knocks it out of the park.

#12 -  “Reaper” by Sia https://open.spotify.com/track/1usLCyaUZ2y0uoPmKj1uYo

So Kanye West helped out Sia for this song off her album “This Is Acting”. You can tell. The delivery is very close to West’s part in the previous year’s “FourFiveSeconds”, and Sia has the conviction to make it feel genuine. I guess her ‘acting’ is just fine for this. I enjoy the sing-a-long feel to this track and the flow of the lyrics in the chorus most of all. Sia can really let herself lay it all out on this one, and it’s probably why this was chosen to be a single off the record. 

You can read my review of “This Is Acting” as an album right here. 

#11 - “Same Old Blues” by Phantogram https://open.spotify.com/track/28iw1FqJf6Vnfl2Fcu9rBh

I made sure to not include non-charting songs (as in not on the Hot 100) out of my Top 10, as I try to focus on hits, but I had to include this one. Plus, their third album — appropriately entitled “Three” — placed 9th on the Billboard Hot 200 in late October, and this song feels like the star of the album, burning so bright that’s blinding. It’s an elegant orchestration with gorgeous vocal work, and a killer guitar break towards its conclusion. Phantogram have always been known to brilliantly deconstruct and build their tracks to create sweeping pieces of music, and this is no exception. A fantastic piece I can recommend to everyone.

#10 -  “Cheap Thrills” by Sia https://open.spotify.com/track/27SdWb2rFzO6GWiYDBTD9j

From those of you who may have read my review for “This Is Acting” (link above), you might have seen that I said that the album was only slightly above average, a mixture of hits and misses. However, when Sia hits... it’s masterful. This one isn’t the most well written or put together, but it captures a feeling better than anything else on the album. I guess she’s been writing for Rihanna for so long that I can’t tell if this is her attempt to sound like her or Sia’s elements that she adds to Rihanna’s repertoire, but it works. This pseudo-island feel suits Sia as perfectly the odd face-concealing wigs she wears. 

#9 - “Into You” by Ariana Grande https://open.spotify.com/track/2meEiZKWkiN28gITzFwQo5

The first four tracks of her third studio album “Dangerous Woman” are pretty stellar, a mixture of the elements that make Ariana shine among the other pop divas (Daya, you could learn a thing or two). This string of songs is capped off by this slice of polished and refined pop excellence. The structure and production screamed for this to be a hit, and the populous answered accordingly. Grande’s grand on this track (see what I did there?), belting it out and oozing with sensuality.

#8 - “Drive It Like You Stole It” by Sing Street ensemble https://open.spotify.com/track/2ZBiHAwdeCnrKvXap6Yzef  

I don’t mean the other version with Hudson Thames. His vocals alone are… not as good as the original released with the trailer for “Sing Street”. The added filters to his voice as well as the back-up performers fit the mood of the bouncy instrumental a lot better. Simply put, a welcome homage to 80′s pop ballads. The beat almost has a doo-wop feel to it, fitting for a film that somewhat resembles an alternative “Footloose”. The final chorus breakdown is also what I consider hair-standing-up-on-neck pop perfection.

#7 - “Starboy” by The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk https://open.spotify.com/track/7MXVkk9YMctZqd1Srtv4MB

The Weeknd made my top spot last year (in a tie, too!) but this year there was quite a few acts who really stepped up their game, so here he sits. That doesn’t mean that this song isn’t kick-ass, though. Daft Punk found a great partner in ol’ Saturday/Sunday here, as they meld a tight and methodical instrumental to pair with Weeknd’s always fine-tuned vocals. Elements of Daft Punk blend with Weeknd’s usual darker tones to create a melody that manages to be glittery and haunting simultaneously. It’s an ear worm in the best way. The stars are far from the limit for this pairing; I really hope they try another collaboration.

#6 - “This Girl” by Kungs and Cookin’ on 3 Burners https://open.spotify.com/track/5D1swG82nVVngZLHOLbe0V

I’m placing the extended version on here because I believe it builds the instrumental easier without just throwing it all out there first thing. However, either version is solid. The original by Cookin’ on 3 Burners is nostalgic kick-back to blues classics, but this sped-up and pumped-up remix by Kungs gives this song some needed pep. And those trumpets, my God. They’re loud, they’re large and in control; they make this song an instant summer classic in my opinion. Best drop of the year, bar none. I can’t say enough good things about this song.

#5 - “Let Me Love You” by DJ Snake, Justin Bieber https://open.spotify.com/track/0lYBSQXN6rCTvUZvg9S0lU

DJ Snake has really stepped up his game. This song feels minimal but is structured perfectly for a satisfying experience. Bieber’s vocals are great here, it feels like he’s really found his rhythm in this song. The drop is pure bliss and quintessential DJ Snake. It almost feels sad, as it complements the nearly pleading nature of the lyrics. The build works around the vocals to spotlight them and let them complement the composition.

#4 - “24K Magic” by Bruno Mars https://open.spotify.com/track/6b8Be6ljOzmkOmFslEb23P

Mars’ “Unorthodox Jukebox II: Electric Boogaloo” “24K Magic” opens with a bodacious nod to Zapp and Roger before breaking down into the grooviest track of the year. It’s also prove that lightning can be caught in a bottle, as it models itself and improves on “Uptown Funk” from the prior year. Normally I dislike the use of his ‘posse’ back-up vocalists, but they a lot to this track and make it feel like a true ‘playa’s’ anthem. Mars feels so loose on here, just shooting the breeze, juxtaposing the tight, restrained composition. A perfect party-starter with endless re-playability.

#3 - “Redbone” by Childish Gambino https://open.spotify.com/track/3kxfsdsCpFgN412fpnW85Y

This is one of the funkiest tracks to come out this year, a mix of a tribute to Bootsy Collins and R&B slow jams with a modern flair. Glover has a tremendous sense of pace here, taking its time to build. His voice throughout is strange yet inviting. I find myself always going back to this song by any mood, it’s just a beautiful piece of music.

#2 - “I Took A Pill in Ibiza— Seeb Remix” by Mike Posner https://open.spotify.com/track/1MtUq6Wp1eQ8PC6BbPCj8P

Depression and optimism mix to create such a solid song. Mike Posner’s meaningful lyrics are better highlighted here with this punchy bass rather than the original slow acoustic delivery. This personifies a state of lull with sparks of excitement. Even the small things like the tambourine in the bridge (you’ll never not notice it once you do) and the voice manipulation add so many layers to the track. It’s just so satisfying to listen to.  

#1 - “Lazarus” by David Bowie https://open.spotify.com/track/3Vn9oCZbdI1EMO7jxdz2Rc

This is the closest thing to a perfect song we got last year, and it came so early in the year as well. It stuck with me all this time. From the moment the drums kick in, it’s like a musical euphoria. This is where the dark scratches the surface of the light for me in terms of tone, a proverbial sweet spot if you will. The somber, beautiful saxophone pairs with a light funky bass and David’s brutally honest delivery. This is simply a masterpiece, a perfect final note for a career as varied and brilliant as Bowie’s. RIP Ziggy Stardust, even in death you showed us all what you’re capable of.