#GAHHHH i fixed it now at least

[archivingdanganronpa]

a couple exciting things arrived in the mail for me. (sorry for the low quality photos, my phone’s camera is really really bad)

junko  enoshima nendoroid! i’ve been really excited for this! it’s my first ever nendoroid, and i’m very happy that it could be her. there’s a lot more small parts than i thought there were though!

and  a twofer, here. on the left is Progressive -Zan Shin-, the ending theme  of danganronpa another episode sung by megumi ogata and aya uchida  (makoto naegi and komaru naegi respectively) , which also includes  poison -gekiyaku- as a b-side, which is a komaeda character song again  sung by megumi ogata.

on the right is the danganronpa 10th  anniversary blu-ray box set. now i don’t actually have a blu-ray player,  so i won’t be getting a lot of use out of this, but it’s cool to have. the main ‘attraction’ for most people would be the complete sets of danganronpa the animation and danganronpa 3… but for me, it also comes with a bunch of bonus stuff!

first of all, the sound novel, kirigiri sou.

this is a sound novel starring kyouko kirigiri, set after danganronpa kirigiri and before dr1… and it’s probably not canon. i actually already archived a fan-translation for this, but i think i may try and rip the gamefiles if possible and put the game itself in the archive. we’ll see what i can do, at least.

also comes with a copy of Super Danganronpa 2.5: Nagito Komaeda and the Destroyer of the World.

this was an ova released after dr3 finished, as part of the limited edition of NDRV3 in japan. never got an official english translation, but there‘s a pretty good fan-translation out there for it. i’ll be including that in the archive.

and of course, there’s bonus discs, too (which sdr2.5 is one of).

one of these cds contains audio drama! two of these star koichi kizakura recruiting various hope’s peak academy students, and the other two star, respectively, celestia ludenberg and kazuichi souda. i’m not sure if these have ever been translated, but i’ll look for them nonetheless, and will be including the original audio files in the archive.

the other two bonus discs contain the soundtrack to danganronpa 3. now i officially own the soundtracks of all main-series danganronpa content that they’ve released!!

i hope the long-ass post makes up for the inactivity over the past week or two.

farewell, despair archivists…

[whentherewerebicycles]

I am very happy with every room in my house except my bedroom and I can’t decide what to do to fix it. I want it to feel super cozy especially as we head towards grey winter months but right now it just feels like a hodge-podge of colors I dislike (plain grey duvet, plain white ikea furniture, horrible crayola green walls). the room is a good size with a lovely view of evergreens outside but it doesn’t get much daylight and can lean towards feeling pretty gloomy/cold in the winter.

I am having trouble finding room inspo photos for some reason but this is a vibe I really like:

I love the natural wood and sage green walls with lots of off white and earth tones in the textiles. I’m kinda stuck with the white furniture which I don’t love (I feel like the ikea white is kinda cold) but it feels like a lot of work to sand and stain it. the real issue is gahhhh do I have the inner strength to go back to the paint search? this room is challenging because it’s low light but also gets a lot of green reflected from the evergreens outside. so sage greens often look muddy because the color looks flatter and the brown or grey undertones come through stronger. but then when I compensate by choosing a shade with a stronger green hue it ends up looking kermit green 🫠

I’m tempted by this color palette:

and I also kinda like this color (sage wisdom), although I might lighten it 25-50% to adjust for my dark room (?):

the other big change I could make is bedding and textiles. more pillows, more rumpled cozy duvet covers (maybe use my friend Kristin’s trick of using a king sized duvet on a queen bed so it looks oversized and cozy), and changing up the colors. I have also thought about doing string lights around the corners of the room… it’s a little college dorm aesthetic but when I’ve done it in the past I feel like it gives the whole room such a cozy warm glow. I also think installing curtains could help warm up the room. hmm okay. any thoughts appreciated. I just really want to get this done well I’m on leave!! I’m tired of my bedroom being my least favorite space in the house.

[arofili]

I love reading what you write! It's always such good, easy writing no matter what it's about! Do you have any Russingon fic recs? I'm new to Ao3 and still figuring it all out.

Aww thank you so much <3 <3 that means a lot! and YES I have lots of Russingon fic recs! These are all taken from my bookmarks and I know there are other great fics out there, but these are ones that I have saved and come back to frequently!

(I’m also going to plug my Russingon fics bc I write them a lot and I’m pretty proud of some of those works!)

Blessed Hands Will Break Me by @absynthe--minded - WIP currently at 139k, lots of worldbuilding, from Fingon’s discovery of Maedhros’ capture to the Mereth Aderthad - Absynthe is an amazing Russingon writer, absolutely check her stuff out!

“whoso list to hunt” by vauquelin (elftrash) - 3k oneshot, post-Angband, 1st person Fingon POV - another incredible writer

“Old Pains” by @zealouswerewolfcollector​ - ficlet, post-reembodiment, Maedhros is unsure of reality

Did My Heart Love Till Now? by @absynthe--minded​ (with art by @felixwhetsel​ !) - 5k, Years of the Trees, masquerade shenanigans <3

“stay thy mind, and all the rest” by @mc-dude​ - 25k oneshot, get together, Fingon visits Maedhros in Himring, the ANGST and LONGING gahhhh !!!

“commit (to the bit)” by vauquelin (elftrash) - 4k oneshot, Years of the Trees, FAKE DATING FOR WORLD PEACE, this author has a GIFT for prose and the subtlety of interpersonal interaction

“cliffs of fall” by @arrivisting - 3k oneshot, nonlinear narrative but generally focused on post-reembodiment reunion with Complicated Feelings - another author with a truly inspiring talent for prose, I reread the wedding scene in this fic at least once a week and it never fails to make me emo

In Equal Measure by @siphilemon - WIP currently at 108k, time-travel fix-it, bullet point fic, not just Russingon but they’re the ones who time traveled and anyway their parts make me go insane

Your colors by @elesianne - 2 chapters, 3k total, Years of the Trees and then Beleriand, gift-giving and anniversaries and dirty talk, so tender and loving, Elle’s Russingon always hits me right in the heart <3

“Like the old season” by Tyelperintal - 1.8k oneshot, post-Angband, Maedhros and Fingon take a walk in the woods, super sweet

“Gifts of the Heart” by @wren-of-the-woods - 10k oneshot, Years of the Trees, really lovely get-together fic, gift-giving, just super sweet and fun

Our Houses Bound Together by @senalishia and @z-h-i-e - 5 chapters, 17.2k total, arranged marriage AU!!, mutual pining, lots of drama, very fun

“just one safe place” by sunflower_diode - 2.1k oneshot, post-Angband, homoerotic haircutting

“All About Your Heart” and its sequel “At Last Broke Silence, And The Ice” by @admirablemonster - first fic is 2k, second is 8k, modern AU ft. aspec Fingon and genderfluid Maedhros!!!, get together, family drama, ice angst <3

Life after Death by Sylanna - WIP currently at 69k, Fingon-centric post-reembodiment fic, slow moving and contemplative, the author is truly the sweetest person ever

What Is Wrought Between Us by @nikosheba - 90k series (with plenty of smut too), complete, canon compliant, ranges from the Years of the Trees all the way to after the Dagor Dagorath, a truly incredible work

“Kindness” by justonelastdance - 1.6k oneshot, Maedhros in a fucked up mental state post-Angband, hurt/comfort - this author writes a lot of Maedhros whump so if you like this check out their other stuff too (this one is just my favorite)

and under the cut, some smut recs....

smut recs

In a Jeweled Crown by @absynthe--minded - 3 chapters, 12k, complete, Fingon’s coronation and the aftermath - this one still makes me go nuts every time I read it

Reconnecting by nyromes - a series with 2 parts, 9k total, first time post-Angband + first time Maedhros bottoms post-Angband

“Bright Defiance” (1.7k) and its companion fic “Very Good” (800 word ficlet) by @edgeoflight - two oneshots, Fingon coaxes Maedhros’ story out of him post-Angband + some PWP - these are some of my favorites, I come back to them frequently

“all your perfect imperfections” by @stormxpadme - 1.8k oneshot, stumpfucking, I’m biased bc this was written for me but I do love it very much, Himring era

“These Games We Play” by @edgeoflight - 1.7k oneshot, the original stumpfucking fic, Himring era

A Surprise At Home by Findecutie and MayGlenn - 25k of pwp, Years of the Trees, newlyweds, crossdressing - part of the much longer Russ and Finno Verse but this was my intro to that verse and it’s good on its own!

“Fuath” by yeaka - 3k oneshot, first time, some truly disturbing manipulation by Melkor but the Russingon here fucking destroys me ;-;

“Rozanne” by yeaka - 2.8k oneshot, Maedhros recovering from Angband, I once saw someone use the phrase “lovingly described blowjobs” and that’s basically this fic

“Sleeve” by yeaka - 2.4k oneshot, trans!Maedhros, Years of the Trees, Fëanor invents the condom for Maedhros and Russingon are incredibly eager to try it out, they’re SO IN LOVE here it gets me every time

Passion and Anxious Care by LiveOakWithMoss - 12.5k total, 2 fic series, modern AU, oh my god they were roommates, get together and then first time, this is another one I return to frequently - this author is/was a BNF a few years ago but hasn’t been active recently

“For nimble thought can jump both sea and land” by TheLionInMyBed - 2.2k oneshot, palantiri foolishness that leads to video sex basically, Beleriand era - another BNF who is/was buds with LiveOakWithMoss

Treat me soft but touch me cool by LiveOakWithMoss and TheLionInMyBed - 4 chapters, 18k total, swoon kink/medical kink, relationship difficulties that are resolved, Beleriand era with a final chapter post-reembodiment, love this one

“Enthroned” by @ultraviolet-eucatastrophe - 4.5k oneshot, throne sex, fealty kink, King Fingon era

“A Disgrace to the House of Finwë” by @edgeoflight - 2.3k oneshot, get together/first time, Years of the Trees, they’re just super sweet together <3

“What Happens in Himring” by teasoni - 3.4k oneshot, reunion sex, Himring era, fealty kink, this fic is tagged “finally some dicks get sucked!!!!!!” and I think about that tag every time I write a Russingon blowjob jdkfhdkj

“a light in darkness, hope in woe” by @admirablemonster - 4k oneshot, trans!Maedhros, surprise baby Gil-galad in the middle of the Bragollach

“A lord and his prince” by @ultraviolet-eucatastrophe - 3.1k oneshot, early Beleriand era, reunion sex, super sweet and fluffy

“Made of Lava” by @edgeoflight - 2.1k oneshot, Years of the Trees, tender get-together fic with a kind of silly premise

Bend, bruise, beg by LiveOakWithMoss - 5 chapters, 13k total, part of a larger modern AU but tbh I haven’t read the main fic in that verse and this absolutely stands on its own, Maedhros discovering his kinks, chapters 2 (first time) and 4 (butt plug shenanigans) are my favorites

“in a field of stars” by Nacht - 3.4k oneshot, Years of the Trees, first time/get together, the writing style here is really unique and sticks with me

“a sword once sheathed” by @mc-dude - 3.5k oneshot, Beleriand era, reunion sex, the amount of horny longing is truly astonishing

Of Flight and Freedom by @admirablemonster - 2 chapters, 6.6k total, wingfic/wing kink, first time/get together, the Rescue and its aftermath

“Thorns” by yeaka - 2k oneshot, post-Angband, Maedhros with lousy self-worth, Fingon who punishes him with love, bondage

The Ice Between by angrymermaids (who has a tumblr but I don’t remember the url oops) - 7 chapters, 33.5k total, Beleriand era, piecing their relationship back together / trying to get back to being intimate, focus on Fingon and his trauma from the Ice

“much too tall for a boyfriend” by @i-am-a-lonely-visitor - 4.7k oneshot, fem!Maedhros x budding-transmasc!Fingon, Years of the Trees, I think about this fic ALL THE TIME I kind of want to write a sequel to it sjfdhdkjh

“the beat of your heart as my hand touches your skin” by @admirablemonster - 5.3k oneshot, part of the Elves in Pon Farr series, Years of the Trees, heat fic/mating cycles, first time/get together, Maedhros’ first heat catches him by surprise while on a camping trip with Fingon, accidental soulbond

“Beneath the Blanketing White” by @nikosheba - 2.3k oneshot, Himring era, pwp, cameo from little Gil-galad at the end

“What I Am (When I’m With You)” by @thatfeanorian - 5k oneshot, part of a larger modern AU, married fluff, Fingon with baby Gil, ends with some lovely smut, this was written for me so AGAIN I’m biased but I do very much love this one

“open your body and soul to me” by @the-quiet-fire-of-defiance - 2.3k oneshot, Years of the Trees, trans!Maedhros, pregnancy, exhibitionism, sex toys, they’re so in love that it drives me crazy, I can’t stop thinking about this fic djfhkjd

“Like the Golden Fire in Your Eyes” by @sianascera - 3.8k oneshot, Years of the Trees, Maedhros invents nipple piercings, extremely fun <3

[diabolical-lychoris]

May i ask for headcanons for Idia and Azul with a female s/o leaving hickeys on their neck before they have to go out to an important dorm leader meeting and they don't notice? If that's okay~ Thank you♡

Female s/o leaving hickeys on their neck before they had an important meeting and didn’t notice

Genre: fluff/ crack

Azul Ashengrotto

Would literally almost loose his composure and excuses himself to scream in a toilet stall in NRC or something

There was a heated session yesterday night with you

And yeah well he went to get dress and do his usual daily routine

But when he was about to walk out

Floyd and Jade’s eye widen when he walked by he doesn’t know why after he passed them he can hear them giggling in the distance but no idea why tho

When he arrived at the mirror chamber everyone looked at him in shock when he walked by them

Riddle was the first one to speak up

“Um Ashengrotto what are those on your neck?” Riddle asks

As Azul looked behind Oh no

He had no idea that (Y/n) left hickies on his neck and his UPPER NECK

He face was an embrassing face but he kept half of his facade and he pushed up his glasses and excused himself

When he arrived at the bathroom he looked at his neck and there were not one but a few hickies on his neck how didn’t he notice this now his face is getting redder and redder as he headed into the bathroom stall

He litterally screamed on the top of his lungs

Poor the guy who was next to him using the toilet

As he dashed out he found Jade and Floyd and grabbed onto their shoulders harshly

“Jade, Floyd Why didn’t you guys point out to me about having marks on my neck?” Azul asks facade crumbling because of rage and embarrassment

Jade pretends to look deep in thought and Floyd just bluntly points it out

“Because it was funny to see others reactions”

“Gahhhh” Azul says clearly upset as he walks away grumbling

When he head back to the dorm room in Octavinelle totally forgetting about the meeting because he might as well not show up due to embrassment

There you are reading a book peacefully

“Oh hey Azul how was your da-Gwahhh” you asks you didn’t get to finish the sentence as Azul slumps on your shoulders face red

That’s when you notice the hickies on his neck ohhhh so that’s why he’s upset he’s basically embrassed

You return the gesture as comfort

“It’s ok Azul you know this joke they would just forget about it anyways” you said trying to comfort him

As he rants and nags at your shoulders completely embrassed

“Ok look I’m sorry next time if I see one or I did some marks on you I’ll point it out ok?” You suggest

“Next time this happens you pay with a contract” he says grumbling

Oh boy next time if this happens this will not be fun

Idia Shroud

When people find out he would be curled up in a ball completely embrassed and face red in embrassed and so as his hair and would probably will take time until he opens up again

It was a week day after a heated session today well he shouldn’t have picked this day for the heated session but now he’s nearly late to a online meeting with the dorm leaders because of how special today’s meeting is he has to show his face damn it

Now he’s fixing his messy flame hair at least to look presentable as possible

Now since he opened his camera that’s connected to the floating tablet he may now let the floating tablet wander to the mirror chamber

When the tablet arrived the the mirror chamber he could see everyone and even himself

When everyone looked at the tablet Azul noticed something

“Hey Idia what are those dots on your neck?” Azul points out

When Idia looked down his eyes widen in horror

Seenable love bites now he officially need to curl up in a ball

He litterally closed his screen that shows his face and muted his tablet and screamed and on the floor curled up in a ball

When you arrived you saw Idia in this state

“Hey Idia what’s wrong?” You asked panicked why Idia is at this state

When Idia pointed to the marks your eyes widen aren’t those the marks you left on him your surprised he didn’t bother to cover them maybe he forgot but now your mission is to calm Idia down first

As you hug him closed to your chest and said sweet nothings to his ears hoping to calm him down

“Look Idia I’m sorry I did point this out I promise I’ll point it out next time alright” you said

“Now I’ll never be able to go back to social life and it’s ruined” Idia whined

Maybe you have made it worse

This was a very fun request from

@akura-ous-lady thank you for giving me a request Azul and Idia was quite the challenge but I hope this is the result you were looking for but it was slightly burnt XD but it was fun nonetheless

[flowers-for-flamingos]

Season 3 Episode 8: Day of the Animals

Guess what time it is?!!

Sorry it took me so long to write this one but we’re getting to it now which is all that matters!

First of all, this episode kind of grates on my nerves because it wasn’t necessary. This is purely a filler episode, we don’t even get any snippets at the beginning or end. We are is episode 8 of season 3! Why are we making filler episodes? Where is my backstory on the sun drop? What about Demanitus? I want to know more about him! Why did his followers betray him? I don’t want this garbage!

Don’t get me wrong I love Pascal, Max, and Ruddiger a lot, but their friendship was kind of already developed (and could be further developed in other episodes as background). We didn’t need an entire episode centered around their inability to get along and how to overcome it.

Really the only reason I like this episode is because my children are all on a road trip together!

Like LOOK at my son (even though he’s like two years younger than me) He’s so cute hiding behind Rapunzel’s hair! I love him!

Ok, I think I’ve already mentioned this before but Ruddiger’s a little shit and I love him.

Also, this whole thing could have been solved if Max would have just gotten another apple!

Fucking Dwayne

I love this bit (not just because of the evil grin on Varian’s face) because Varian is 15ish, he’s still very much a kid! And therefore, when a pillow is thrown at his face he’s gonna throw it back! Then Raps just casually snatches it from him and he looks confused and then POUTS because he couldn’t mess around.

Also Angry (I’m calling her Angry because it seems as though she wants to be called Angry still and everyone continues to call her Angry but call Catalina Catalina) calls him V and if that isn’t sibling love then I don’t know what is.

Honestly, if Hamuel were to die mysteriously I’d be perfectly fine with it.

This bird causes more problems than fixes any and I am so sick of dumb comic relief characters (even if their animals) that aren’t actually funny.

O M G!!! Look at her leaning on Varian and Angry’s heads! Gahhhh!

Also, look at my precious girl Catalina! I love her to bits!

Do you understand how much I love them?!! Do you?

Pascal really was so done in this episode. The chamaeleon is tired of being the mediator let him rest.

Just wanted to draw some attention to how Dwayne switches his sword from hand to hand as he’s singing to himself.

It’s so simple, yet animated in such a beautiful way and I can’t explain why I like it so much, I just do.

FUCKING DWAYNE!

Ok, but also! You may hate Dwayne, but I love him. He’s hilarious and, honestly, if I were a thief I too would annoy all the main characters, constantly be making weird faces and body movements, and wouldn’t be able to spell my own name.

Speaking of body movements, this entire camp fire scene is my absolute fav of the episode! The way he moves! I can’t!

They’re morons! It’s great!

I die with laughter every time characters do this!

I already said why I didn’t get too excited about this episode from the beginning. This just seems like a season 1 episode and I’m not into it.

Sure, it was funny and we got to see more of the animals, but there was no point. I would have rather had an episode about Demanitus’ past, what caused Zhan Tiri? Who is the little blue girl with Cass and what her deal is! Anything but this.

Besides that, I got a nice Varian episode, so that makes me feel better but still.

4/10 for episode 8. I didn’t hate it and it’s not my least favorite episode (that one where the got turned into birds in season 2. What??), but it’s not good. Sorry if that disappoints anyone. I have no problem with any of the characters in this episode, but there is no reason for it.

I want to get the rest of Season 3 done before Wizards: tales of Arcadia comes out August 7th, but if I don’t I’ll finish this before I do them. (That is if you guys are cool with me reviewing them too?)

Anyway, another one soon :)

[willow-salix]

Anyone want to see Selene try (and fail) to play video games with Alan?

Day 54 of Isolation on Tracy Island and I almost killed Alan today. Mostly because he was laughing so hard he kept choking, wheezing and forgetting to breathe. 

What, you might ask, was so funny? Well, he tried to teach me to play a computer game with him. And let's just say… I'm not a natural. 

"I'm bored," I whined, stretching out a foot and poking Alan with my toe. "Entertain me." 

He looked at me. "How am I supposed to do that?" 

"I don't know, suggest something." 

"You won't like anything that I want to do." 

"I promise I will, I'll give anything a go at the moment, I'm that bored." 

"Fine," he handed me a VR headset and a set of hand controllers. "Let's play." 

"Oh, oh no! No, this is not for me. Boy, you know I'm a technophobe, I don't play games, I just can't get my head around them." 

"You promised you'd try," he reminded me, an evil glint in his eyes and an even eviller smirk on his face. 

"Crap." I sighed and slid the heavy goggles onto my face. "You had better pick something easy." 

There are, as it turns out, two versions of easy, Alan easy, and me easy. He picked Alan easy, which should be considered very hard for me. 

"What are we playing?" I asked. 

"Cavern Quest," he replied. "You'll love it, I even set you up with a witch character to go with my Knight. You'll do great." 

At least someone had faith in me. Though unfortunately that faith was about to be short lived. 

"How do I walk?" I called after him as he sped off like a streak of lightning. Boy was rapid. "Come back!" 

"Just use the thumb controls of the left controller to move, push forward or backwards to go forward or backwards and side to side to move left or right."

I pushed forward and was instantly face to face with the floor. 

"What happened?" 

"You fell over. You ran into a stump." 

"Poop. How do I get up?" 

"Push up! Just push the direction you want to go."

I pushed up and ended up looking at the stars. . 

"Erm…help?"

"Hang on, I'm coming." 

A hand grabbed mine and hauled me to my feet. 

"Thank you." 

"Want me to guide you to the first level?" 

"Yes, yes I do." 

He towed me along by the hand until we zoomed through a curved doorway into what looked like a castle hall. 

A king sat upon a pretty nifty throne, so I guessed that my assumption had been correct. 

"Welcome, brave warriors," he boomed. "I am grateful for your assistance. I shall give you five quests, each one more challenging than the last. Complete them all and you will win your place within the ranks of nobility and become a Knight of the Realm." 

"Fancy," I commented. 

"Prove your valour and recite the Cavern Quest oath." 

Alan nudged my character, and I think me in real life as I felt it in my ribs. 

"Just keep up if you can," he whispered then launched into what I assumed was the oath. 

"With mystic blades and fire ore, we pledge our honoured best. Many shall fall for only a noble few will pass the test! So come more worthy heroes and bring forth the cavern quest!" Alan finished triumphantly. 

"Mystic ore…nobel us…test…Cavern Quest…" I mumbled, the only words I could catch. Alan didn't look impressed. 

"You have pledged your fealty, you may now enter."

A set of doors opened before us and Alan dragged me through. 

"You have to be on your guard now. You're a witch, so you fight with spells. Use the buttons on your right controller to cast. You simply swoosh and point and hit the right buttons."

I lifted my right hand and swooshed, hitting a random button with my thumb. A shot of red light flew out of my hand and blew up a rock. "Dang." 

Alan cracked up laughing but soon sobered as out of the trees lumbered a gigantic troll. He dived at the troll, hammering it with his sword. 

"Cast a spell!" he yelled as I shrieked and dived out of the way, trying to karate kick it. 

"Oh, yeah, I'm magic," I remembered, fumbling with the controller. I bashed buttons madly, swinging my arm like I was batting away a fly. Coloured sparks shot this way and that, but the only thing I succeeded in hitting was Alan. 

"Hey!" 

"Sorry!" I yelled back. I risked moving a little closer and fell over again. 

Alan defeated the troll and picked me back up again, moving us through the rest of the level. It didn't come naturally or easily for me. 

"How do I jump?" I demanded. 

"Left trigger!" 

"Why am I stuck?" 

"Because you're in a bush!" 

"Why did I just die?" 

"Because you fell in lava!" 

"HIIIIYAAAAAHHHH take that you beast!" 

"That's a dog not a werewolf! Stop hitting him with that stick!" 

"Oops." 

"No! Don't go through…there."

"I can't see! I'm blind!" 

"You walked into a wall and you're still walking."

"Why can't I move?" 

"You just got yourself stuck in a corner, turn around!" 

"Why did I die this time?" 

"That tree just fell on you." 

I screamed like a banshee when something swooped down out of nowhere and attacked me. I flailed and somehow my thumb hit a button and my hand moved the right way and suddenly the gargoyle was in flames on the floor. 

"You did it!" 

"I did?" 

"Yeah!" 

"Cool. See? I got this." 

Turned out I didn't got it at all. 

We fought our way through the dark forest, taking out elves, fae and the odd goblin. Alan did the majority of the work while I set to work on a few puzzles, all of which provided me with new spells to add to my arsenal. 

"For this bit you need to change your form, you cast a spell and become something smaller, like a rat or a toad."

"I can do that?" 

"Duh, you're a witch. Use that new spell, it's easy, left, right, right, left, up."

"I wanna be a cat!" 

"Then select the cat!" 

I toggled along the options until I found a cat and hit the button. A flash of light, a puff of smoke and boom, I was a cat. 

"This is so cool! I'm a cat! I have ears! Look at my tail! I can swish." I wiggled my butt back and forth. "Swish, swish, swish," 

"We don't have time for you to play with your tail. You need to go through that pipe and push the button."

I did as I was told and actually managed to complete the mission, opening up a gate for us to go through. 

"Now return to yourself."

"I'm stuck! I'm stuck! Alan, help me!" 

"You were supposed to get out of the pipe first!" 

"You could have told me that!"

"It's common sense!" he yanked at my arms. My avatar didn't budge.

"You're too stuck and you're crushing your own lungs. I'm gonna have to kill you. Sorry about that."

"Just make it quick," I begged. I closed my eyes as he raised his sword.

We moved on once I blinked back into existence after my slaughter at the hand of my team mate. Alan handled all the quest points like the pro that he was, instructing me to go around each area, smash up as much stuff as I could and collect all the objects that fell out.

"Just get all the coins, potion ingredients and magical objects, I'll protect you and do the rest," he promised.

I nodded and proceeded with my one woman rampage of the scenery. I was a button basher, that's all I seemed to be able to do. I found it impossible to coordinate more than one button or movement at a time. I was just about managing to walk, maybe jump and land at a push, everything else was pure dumb luck.

"Yes! Take that you ugly box! Boof! Ha! Give it up, give it all up, I know you've got some gold in there. Quit holding out on me." I smacked the box with an axe that Alan had taken from a suit of armour one level back. The box refused to allow itself to be looted. "Gimme it!!! Gimme the gold! Make me rich, baby!"

I bashed a series of buttons as quickly as I could.

"Why am I a goat? Alan, I'm a goat! Why am I a goat?"

"You cast a spell, change back!"

I tried. "I'm a cow! This is worse!"

He had to stop beating up a wild boar to run over and fix me, laughing the entire time.

"Don't laugh at me! You're body shaming me!"

He actually had to hold his breath for a few seconds to calm down before he could talk me through getting back to my former self.

"Thanks."

I returned to the chest and tossed a spell at it and to my deep joy it splintered apart." Yes!" I scooped up the gold and tucked it away into my bag. I was kinda getting the hang of this.

"Come on, we gotta move!"

Alan leapt up onto the battlements and raced along the wall. I jumped up after him… and promptly fell off the other side and hit the ground.

"Crap!" I yelled as I blinked out of existence and appeared on the other side of the wall again.

It took me six goes to manage the jump, move, run routine, by which time Alan had given up waiting and was half way down the stairs that led to the great hall where the sounds of an epic battle could be heard raging.

"Alan! Don't leave me!" I raced after him and immediately ran into a door that I forgot to open first. I finally made it to the hall after getting wrapped in a spiders web, stuck in a cupboard, setting myself on fire and accidentally drinking a potion that turned me into a ghost for twenty minutes. But at least that gave me a breather to wander around and wail at nothing, kinda like I felt like doing in real life at that moment.

"What took you so long?" Alan called as he slashed at a dark elf that had just thrown a spear at his head.

"I got caught up, but I'm here now. What can I do to help?"

"Anything!" he yelled desperately.

I took him at his word, throwing spells randomly, hitting maybe one intended target out of twenty.

I swung my axe, whacking at anything that came close enough for me to hit.

"Ha! Take that you twat! Come closer so I can kill you easier!"

"I don't think life works that way," I heard John comment.

"How the…?" I looked all around and almost got hit by a flying shield. "Gahhhh," I screamed, ducking out of the way.

"Try hitting it again?" Scott suggested.

"Shut up! I'm trying to stay alive here!" I yelled back.

"Try harder," Gordon encouraged.

"Duck!" Alan yelled and it took me a second to realise he was actually being helpful. I dropped to my knees and just about avoided death by turkey leg.

I'd like to say that I held my own, but I'd be lying. I failed miserably and had to be rescued by Alan another five times just to make it to the end of the level. Though I did manage to trip over my own foot, but then a vengeful knight tripped over me where I was sprawled out on the floor, so I suppose that was a good thing.

"Nope, I'm done, I'll never get the hang of this," I tugged off the headset to find everyone sitting around, watching me.

"How long were you there?" I asked.

"Long enough," Virgil grinned.

"Swish, swish, swish," Scott wiggled his eyebrows at me. I glared in return.

"Lady Witch," John bowed, offering me an apple from the fruit bowl. "I wish to engage your services."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm a mercenary now, I only accept precious jewels or things of high value. You got any potions about your person?"

"How about a dirty old bar of gold? Will that suffice?"

I pretended to think about it. "Deal." I held out my hand. "You good sir, just hired yourself a witch."

I've got no idea what I just agreed to but I'd just survived an epic quest and now I know I can handle anything. He won't be too mean to me, will he?

[oreomonsterhunter]

ON:E D2

Day 2 continued (even though there isn’t really a part one since TuMBlr DeLETed iT and I do not have the energy to try to recreate my thoughts, plus they wouldn’t be first impressions anymore since I’ve seen it already. Le sigh)

My Time is up first and I’m not prepared. My laptop even decided to quit the hell out of the website I was watching from, I assume in an attempt to protect me from 23 year old menace Jeon Jungkook. But the show must go on...

Ok I love the guitar move, I loved it the last two times and I love it now

No one come for me but his voice sounded a tad bit off when he first came in

I say this with love because my eyes and ears are peeled for injuries and strain and it is 2000007191819% believable that jk went too hard on day 1

But you know he’s right back on top again when the backing vocals come in and it sounds like a recording 😍 that’s my boy

I SEE TIDDIES I REPEAT THERE ARE TIDDIES ON THE SCENE

This choreo is impeccable

And I say that having seen it thrice and had my eyes peeled for the footwork and hand work because jk can Dance with that real good technique

You can almost touch the hours he’s put into this performance

Can you tell I’m avoiding the sexual nature as long as possible because I am

The leather fit was better for the thighs I’m just gonna say it

I like the red (and spoiler: the fact that he and jimin switch colors) but I reeeeeally liked the leather

My gawd those shoulder moves he’s so aggressive with it I’m 😳

The fact that his entire chest is out is absolutely sending me off the deep end, I am losing it, I have lost it

This sure is a...pectacle

Insert Jin windshield wiper laugh here

Jeon jungkook has pretty broad shoulders...and an itty bitty waist...and he’s throwing it in my face I’m like damn

Ok the backup dancers are lovely, and I like the symbolism of jk being followed by shadowy strangers, his every move inspected and copied

Imma say it: I liked day one hair better

I AM GASPING FOR BREATH JEON JUNGKOOK STOP IT RIGHT NOW I SAW ABS AND A WHOLE FRICKIN SHOULDER PUT THAT AWAY YOUNG MAN

I am keeping my eyes on the prize there is more to come I gotta stay cool but his THIGHS ARE A SIREN SONG AND I AM HELPLESS

That vocal run oof 😍😭 and right after that intense dance nonsense

Ok Santa I’ve had enough, all I want for Christmas is to squeeze jk’s thigh. Just one. Just for a moment. That’s all I ask.

I see sweat 👀 I’m not gonna say the thought I’m having I’ll scandalize you

FILTERRR JIMINNNN FUCK ME UPPPPP

Ok so he has his first note and immediately spreads his legs what am I supposed to do here jimin

His shirt is thin and almost missing as many buttons as mr doesn’t-know-what-buttons-are-jungkook so HOW does he do the outfit change later...we’ll find out

THE ROBE yes this is better this is the one heck yeah new fave

Jimin is Carmen right now (if you know you know) this is my ultimate goal

His hair...I said I was obsessed on day one but tousled is 😍 I love silvery jimin

And yes his eyeshadow is perfection absolute chef kiss Gordon Ramsay is on his knees praising this five star look

The lift and the half fall with the backup dancers is even MORE chef kiss ughhhh I’m so glad I’m watching this again to catch the details (and now I can pause lol)

Oop I caught a glimpse of those hand tattoos hello

Yeah jimin said “jk isn’t the only one with a chest”

HOW the outfit change was FOUR SECONDS OR LESS I COUNTED

I am literally yoongi looking at jhope doing hip thrusts right now. Hand over mouth, phone fallen to the floor, my entire life in shambles. Jimin has brought literal tears to my eyes how is he this potent even through a screen

Potent is the word, he is an actual SIREN like what

Jimin get over here I want you

And now I’m soothed with Jin 😌 thank you

THE PINK SHIRT nvm I’m not soothed I am a massive fan girl

His hair is also perfection, the whole vibe is It

Jin’s voice is sweeter than the WWH kisses he blows to the audience all the time 😭 omggg

I really do love that shirt, the sleeves are so fun and pretty and flowy

The little prince theme is killin me ahh

Things I want after this concert (since part 1 was deleted I’ll repeat myself...thanks tumblr I really love that you deleted valuable notes): jimins ripped sparkly pants, jungkook’s thighs, jimin, Jin’s shirt

HOLY HELL THAT HIGH NOTE

Jin are you sure you’re human I see no flaws, pretty suspect if you ask me

What?!? The song is over already? Excuse me?

Probably because I had to keep taking breaks from jk to breathe, and jimin to regain some control of my brain cells

The way tae does lil kid things as an adult

Not just on stage but I was reminded by that lil finger wave, this absolute cutie

The way he holds a mic is 👀 this man really does everything differently and somehow makes anything look damn good

What’s cuter, this kid or taehyung’s smile right before the chorus??? Impossible choice?

NOPE it’s the way tae makes those little faces at him and pats his head and you hear army in the background 🥺😭😭

His high notes at the end? Are they all trying to murder me with these vocals? Vocal line doesn’t REST

EGOOOOOO I think I need hobi in a red car for the rest of my life

How am I supposed to stay calm when you look That Good, hobi?

This choreo is so much fun ahhhhh I wanna dance but I’m definitely not good enough to learn this on the fly

The lil woah

Ripped jeans hobi 😍

Skipping hobi is an absolute joy, a bit of sunshine everyone needs to witness, the cure to what ails you, the light at the end of a long day, I sob

His joy is seeping through the screen he really is sunshine

He can really make any dance look easy, that’s such a skill

I mean these leg moves? I know they’re hard, or at least tricky, and he just? Does them? And makes my brain think they’re easy because he’s just doing them so naturally? What a lie he’s just gifted beyond this dimension. And also practices to perfection so there’s that

Tae is seriously shaking his booty right now lol

I know the boys always make fun of suga’s rap during boy with luv but I really love it

Jin’s so happy 😊 they’re all excited and having so much fun

I’ll never stop screaming over bts harmonies. Jk can actually turn anything into a masterpiece he blends so well with everyone, goosebumps every time I forget about a harmony and get surprised and ughhhh yesss

Jimin doing the ego dance lol this cutie

See I’m not crazy, they really are so happy on stage 😭 they’re all glowing and now they’re gonna talk about it I better not cry I’m too tired for that

Mmmmm Joonie wearing necklaces is 👌

All of their hair looks stellar oof

DNA choreo is one of my faves (who can watch them and say they’re not amazing performers, seriously)

Yasss Jin goooooo

Dance line really knows how to take and grab my attention like...I’m addicted to them

The hobi center part at the end though 🥳

I love the old songs, I’m always smiling when some of them come on idk

It makes me happy that bts still like performing their old stuff, like...we enjoy it but so do they

SUGA ON THE THRONE WHERE HE BELONGS #king of swag

You know it’s an old song when rapper jk reappears, and y’all know how much I love rapper jk *cough* ddaeng *cough*

The baseball is weird not gonna lie

Ooh little groovy jhope

Jimin seriously considered yanking his shirt up, I saw him think about it 😂 but shirt still tucked in

NEVER OVER THIS DANCE BREAK

Ok usually my jaw drops over jhope NOT NAMJOON excuse ME whAT

This should be ILLEGAL SIR, ILLEGAL

Ok yeah jhope has my jaw dropping again how does he move like that

😳😩🥵 red alert, that smirk is worth calling 911 to put out a fire because Hot Damn

I love jimin’s voice ok I love it

The closeups on heavy breathing sweaty bangtan are actual threats against my life

Not sure I have a pulse anymore

Can anyone in bts perform cpr I think I need it

Ok nvm jhope’s intro in spring day is the virtual version, I’m saved

What excuse me park jimin you better be ok go drink some water bb

Jin forehead I see you, worldwide handsome on full display

Gahhhh hobi vocals simultaneously kill me and bring me back to life

Also harmonies with rapline and vocal line (suga and jimin are lovely omg)

IDOLLLLLLLL YASSSSSS QUEEN

jk is totally doing sound effects lmao

I like how tae has the bandana around his bicep again (they totally stalked the internet and found the thirst, it’s the least practical thing, he’s only wearing that for one reason lol

They are the MOST HYPE how do they just keep going my introverted ass is in awe

Jk like move y’all are in my way this is my moment get out of it ahahaha

Wait how did I not notice tae put the bandana on his head

It must be a pain in the butt to clean up all that confetti

Encore song is only for army 🥺 these are the most precious boys i swear

Jimin fixing jhope’s hair...I thought I couldn’t uwu any harder but I can

Apparently I can uwu even harder because jimin saying he’s not gonna cry and smiling so big his eyes turn into smiles too I’m the softest for one man and his name is park jimin

President joon, I’m happy too 😭

[tumblunni]

Ohhh fuckin geez at least let me has a pikachu

Today's update: still feeling all fucked up from Everything Happening At Once, also getting a migraine from all the stress the other day and how i basically didnt sleep for two days and then passed out today and lost the entire 24 hours. Like man i cant even say the family shit was yesterday?? It just feels that way cos i spent all of today either sleeping, crying or crying on the phone to the bank and the stupid online game store that took my money for pokemon preorder yet didnt send me the actual game. GAHHHH and ive forgotten to Eat Food for like the whole three days all this shit has been going down, aside from a handful of Starburst candy my sis gave me during our Big Awkward Moment. And the energy drink i chugged on the way there to meet her because Fuck I Need Awakeness To Comprehend This Shit. I think my stomach is exploding in on itself.

Anyway! ANYWAY!! Gahhh! Anyway!

Thank you mega fuckin big much to the friends who leant me money AGAIN, both to catch the midnight bus to meet a long lost sibling and also to fix this stupid game preorder bollocks. God what the fuck is up with my life? I feel so guilty asking for money and man you guys have leant me like 300 in the last 3 months! Fuck i hope this stupid cavalcade of finance problems stops soon and i can start paying you all back because JESUS CHRIST. I feel like my skin is melting off my bones whenever i think about how much i dont deserve such great friends! 'welp yeah theyre wonderful people, guess i lost an arm' You ever wanna cringe yourself into a little ball from embarassment? Yeah like that but so much that i disintegrate into atoms.

SO I HOPE! FOR FUCKIN GODS SAKE! That this stolen money zero game bullshit gets resolved soon. But there's no chance of it taking less than a week, so thank you SO MUCH for helping me place another preorder at a different more reliable shop! This is what i get for fuckin going bargain hunting aaa. I ordered pikachu version just in case the original order does somehow turn up, cos it was eevee version. But i got none of the preorder bonuses anymore and no pokeball controller on this. I guess maybe itll make my second playthru more fun if i can finally use the damn controller, haha! And this second copy is probably gonna arrive quite late now cos i missed the preorder window. But it should be either on saturday or monday which is way better than waiting a month or something chasing up this bullshit! And hopefully also in a week or two i will get the money back from selling alll those preowned games, and it can go towards A: GROCERIES and B: repaying bebst friends of reckless money giving. You guys are fuckin nuts, seriously!! And man god i hate that im still suffering this knock-on effect tight finances bullshit from the stupid mental hospital thing 3 months ago. I mean i failed to even last a month there and its cost me almost a thousand pounds in terms of stocking up the stuff to be able to move house temporarily, all the mobile data i had to use while being without internet while i was there, all the miscellaneous expenses along the way, and then all the bill debt and having to restock tolietries and groceries and everyries when i got back home. Sighhh! And i feel guilty that i bought a stupid warhammer starter kit around halloween and i still havent even opened it because The Guilt. Like man i should have somehow predicted there would be more money trouble and saved that money rather than make a selfish purchase. But like it was the cheapest beginners kit anyway and i even haggled a discount for getting the figures without the paint. And now im being selfish and getting this pokemon game!! Twice!! Because stupid fuckin online banking nonsense!! Godddd give me back my money so i can give it to my friendsssss

So yeah in summary Bunni Feel Bad and also Overwhelmed and also Bad. But hopefully stuff is sorted now. Gah!

Also probably will be some delay on doing a lets play of this new pokemon cos i dunno when its gonna arrive and also i feel Big Sick now and need to chug a paracetamol and eat a loaf of bread before i die. Hope i dont spend all weekend just passed out on the sofa from Too Much Braining In One Day. Srsly why did this all happen all at once...

Also i probably wont go with the idea of twin protagonists headcanon for this LP, cos the whole Untimely Lost Sibling Madness kinda made that a sore spot to think about. One good side of getting the version i didnt want is that i can pick the female protagonist if i get pikachu version, and go with the personality i was gonna use for the female sibling. Cos actually it seems that your rival dude's perosnality is kinda simular to what i was gonna do for the male sibling? Could just have that sort of relationshup as a best buddies thing. And playing as a sassy roughhousing jock girl protag is gonna be more fun than playing The Nice And Shy Dude which is basically what i always do in every game cos its just me??? Would get more fun character lets player contrast with protagonist Darcy.

Also fuck i am gonna have SO MUCH to talk about in this first episode! Watchers who dont follow me on tumblr are gonna be so confused. "Hey youtube i just got out of mental hospital and found my long lost sister who thought i was dead, anyway never mind that lets talk about pokemon! I was gonna say i dont have any baby pictures of me when the original Pokemon Yellow came out, but here's the one i found on a facebook obituary for myself yesterday..."

What the fuck is my life, seriously?

Also if my starter ends up being a male pikachu im gonna name it Chuppy after my original one in pokemon yellow. And if its a girl i'll call it Ghostwriter after my mimikyu and pretend that its a mimikyu that just has an extra high quality disguise. Seriously, picturing all of these cute antics and tiny costumes on mimikyu makes it all even sweeter to me! I love ghosties!!

LOL I JUST REALIZED MAYBE IM A GHOST TRAINER COS I WAS "DEAD" ALL THESE YEARS AND DIDNT KNOW IT

Seriously man if there are any parents out there reading this, dont fuckin lie to your 4 year old that her sibling is dead just because the dad divorced you. There are no words for how fucked up this is. Except 'oh i guess thats why my favourite digimon frontier character is duskmon'. I fuckin thought that plot was unrealistic when i first watched it! XD actually i think duskmon is straight up my favourite digimon design and the one i'd probably pick as my partner, even though i prefer Impmon's plot from the third season. I kinda wanna go make a fanmade full evolution line for Duskmon now?? Man why am i getting so wildly off topic!

I really need to eat a food and sleep a sleep

[fantasticnewtimagines]

*Lost Too Soon* Newt x reader

◘ irlus asked:

Reader miscarries. Newt and she had been trying to have babies but she’s got her fourth miscarriage in a very short time. She is broken and beyond desperate and newt doesnt know how to make herl feel right. (And this is just the begining of the angst rampage)

❤ YOU AND YOUR ANGST. lol This one kills me with the feels.

WARNING: Obviously talks about miscarriages so read at your own risk. By no means do I wish to glorify miscarriages in any way. I know people who have had them and they are devastating. Keep in mind that this is only for creative purposes and in no way an attempt to lessen the severity and pain that happens when someone experiences a miscarriage.

You loved children. Your biggest hope was to one day become a mother and be able to watch your own children grow up and become the people they were meant to be.

You and your husband, Newt, had tried for years to have one but all seemed lost after you had endured three miscarriages. 

You were now in your fourth pregnancy and so far things were going well. Each day you and Newt held high hopes that everything would work out and you’d finally be able to start the family you had long dreamed of.

Newt was currently within his case finishing up his rounds feeding his creatures as you were in your room getting ready for bed.

Your hand rested upon your belly as you made your way towards you pillow and blankets, eager to nestle in to them and fall asleep. You were just inches away when suddenly a searing pain shot through your lower abdomen. Reaching over, your one hand laid against your belly as the other caught the bed, keeping you from falling. 

Your eyes were clamped shut as you rode out the pain. The sudden feeling of something running down your leg caused your throat to tighten and tears to form in your eyes. 

“Gahhhh!”

More pain shot through and you fell to the floor, grasping the bed sheets as you screamed. You opened your eyes and the sudden sight of blood caused you to break down in to a fit of sobs. 

The pain shot through again and as you screamed out for Newt, you suddenly felt the life inside you slip away and the darkness take over. 

It was too late when Newt finally emerged from the case. You were on the floor passed out with blood both on your nightgown and your legs.

Without a moment to spare, the wizard grabbed his wand and apparated the two of you to St. Mungos. 

Two days had past since the evening of your now fourth miscarriage. You were in the bedroom lying under a pile of bed sheets, your red eyes staring off in to the distance. You hadn’t spoken, eaten or get up since your return home. 

Newt was at a loss of what to do. Yes, you had gone through this three times before, but this time it had seemed so hopeful. His heart ached for you and wanted nothing more than to make this better.

Setting down the bowl of food for the bowtruckles, Newt wiped his hands on his pants as he made his way back towards the hut. It was late in the afternoon and he wanted to go and check up on you. Maybe he could get you to eat at least something. 

Emerging from the case, he made his way to the kitchen where he grabbed slice of bread and spread some peanut butter on it. He knew you liked sliced bananas on top with some honey and so he added that as well. Placing it on a plate, he carefully made his way in to your shared bedroom where he found you just where he’d left you hours before.

The room was quiet and all you could hear was the bustling of the outside world flowing in through the open window. A gentle breeze blew your H/C hair across your face but you didn't stir. You only continued staring at the ceiling. 

“I brought you something to eat, love...” Quietly, Newt walked around to the side of the bed you were laying and sat down. He placed the plate on your nightstand and watched as you just blinked, not even bothering to look over at what he brought you.

The pain in your eyes only grew with each passing day and as Newt watched the life drain from you every day, he began to feel hopeless and like you’d never smile again.

“Y/N... please eat something... you nee-”

He stopped mid sentence as he watched you roll over on to your side and facing away from him. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes with his fingers as he tried to find his next words. 

“I know it hurts, love. I’m hurting too... but I need you to eat. You need to take care of yourself.”

“There’s no point.” It was the first you’d spoken in days. The words were almost a whisper and came out hoarse and rough. 

“What do you mea-”

“I mean there’s no point!” Your voice grew louder as you answered him. Tears began rolling down your cheeks as you continued, “I can’t even carry a child without losing it.” Your crying quickly turned in to sobs and you struggled to catch your breath. “I’m broken... I can’t even do the one thing woman are supposed to be able to do....”

Newt’s heart shattered at your words and he wanted nothing more than to engulf you in his arms and hug you forever. Nothing he could say or do would bring your chid back, he knew that. But hearing your words, it was as if he was being stabbed in the heart a thousand times.

“You are not broken, Y/N. Do you hear me? You are not broken.” Fighting back his own tears, Newt reached out to you and pulled you up taking you in his arms. Your head fell in to his chest and your tears soaked his shirt. Your trembling body and labored breaths only grew and he began to feel helpless. He didn't know what to do or say. 

With each passing second Newt just held you tighter, trying to absorb as much of your sadness as he could to lessen the load of it on you.

“I just.... I-I don’t understand....”

“I know, love.... I know.” Stroking your hair, Newt placed a kiss on your head as he continued, “I wish I had an answer.”

“I-it’s like I-I’m c-cursed. O-or I’m being p-punished.” 

“No. You’re not.” The words struggled to leave his lips as he fought to hold in his now emerging tears. “You are not cursed and you are not being punished. This is something we have been given to deal with and we will. Together we can figure this out.”

Closing his eyes, Newt let his own tears now flow. It seemed like hours had passed that the two of you sat there in one another’s arms. Truthfully, it was needed. Newt hadn’t held you for days, seeing as every time he tried you only pushed him away.

“I’ll u-understand if y-you don’t want t-to be with m-me.” 

Newt’s eyes shot open at your words and he immediately pulled you away looking down at you and gently pushing your H/C hair from your face to reveal your eyes.

“Don’t you ever say that again, you hear me?”

You continued crying, keeping your gaze down trying to avoid his.

“I will never leave you, Y/N. Yes, this situation is hard. But by no means will I ever leave you. I love you, Y/N. I love you. You are my world and I will never leave your side.” Using his thumb, Newt gently wiped the tears from your cheeks as he kissed your forehead before cradling his head in the crook of your neck. 

Your tiny body shook in his arms as you continued to sob. 

Oh, how he wished there were a spell strong enough to fix this; to make things alright. 

All he wanted was for you to have your one wish.

To be a mother. 

As he cradled your head in his hand, he gently whispered, “Someday we’ll get our baby, love. I know it. And even if we don’t, I’m just happy that I got to spend my life with the most amazing woman I know....”

His words warmed your aching heart just the slightest, and for a moment you felt at peace. 

“Here she is!” The doctor smiled as he held your tiny bundle of joy in a blanket. He gently placed the baby in your arms and you felt your heart explode as you finally got to hold your long awaited child.

Your eyes were full of tears as it’s little hand wrapped around your finger and fidgeting in your arms. You let out a small laugh as you turned your teary eyes up towards Newt’s. A smile was spread across his freckled face as he looked down at his two favorite girls. 

“She’s perfect..” Reaching over, he gently pushed the blanket aside from her face revealing just the slightest amount of red hair.

“She has your hair!”

“And your eyes.”

Placing a kiss on your temple, Newt wrapped his arm around you as he kept his gaze down on his new daughter. 

“What shall we name her?” He asked you, rubbing your arm gentle.

“Hmmm...” You thought for a brief moment before smiling and as you looked up to meet his gaze, you smiled and said, “Faith. Let’s name her Faith.”

“Hello, Faith.”

Was this enough angst? I wanted it to be super angsty. 

[tumblunni]

How to fix those messes

Tooru: can literally just be a trans man who is good and on the hero side. The entire yandere flip flop evil love triangle plot didnt need to exist, it feels like it was only there to "prove" that "she's really a girl" because this author thinks gay people dont exist outside of creepy cannibal fetish pedo men.

Creepy cannibal fetish pedo man: just fuckin kill him. Seriously why on earth was he the one treated the most synpathetically out of all of these characters??

Back to tooru again: also you didnt have to introduce him being trans by showing some old man molesting him and revealing his binder. You could have just had him..yknow..say he was trans. Show the same flashback but its just him confessing to his new friends cos now he trusts them and all. But yknow that wouldnt have been a ~shocking gory twist~ i guess...

Nuts hammer boy: please punch yourself in the face for even considering this idea. The idea of a ~poor cis boy forced to act trans by abusive parents who wanted a girl~ is nonsense fearmongering and i hate how its more common in anime than actual real trans characters. And adding a disgusting note of sexual abuse and fucking GENITAL MUTILATION just takes it up to 11! Its like the author read a cliffnotes summary of how puberty blockers can help delay stuff like the lowering of the voice and etc, and went off on some wild assumption that they literally cause being transgender and also literally ripping off a child's balls is what this thing means. Cos i mean seriously this is traits of being trans played as a horror story? It reminds me of naoto from Persona 4 where a sex change operation is presented as a terrifying death trap you have to rescue "her" from, because yknow despite her showing multiple heavily implied signs of being trans she was really just ~sad about sexism~ and ~pretended to be a man to get more respect~ and her literal worst nightmare as represented in this nightmare dungeon is the idea of being trans. Also the bumfuck stupid idea that if you took puberty blockers/literally had your nuts chopped off, it would not only give you a higher voice and less muscle mass but also CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY INTO NONBINARY. Gahhhh! Fashion taste isnt a biological trait! The definition of manly and girly changes every decade anyway. God how to even fix this.. I guess just either or..? Like either have a regular nonbinary character or have a horrifying sad story of genital mutilation. One of those does not cause the other. Also seriously please remove the bit about the genital mutilation being motivated by his mom WANTING him to become trans, like what the fuck? And somehow it fuckin worked?? Seriously fuckin presenting trans women/nonbinary people as a creepy fetish of an abusive parent who wanted someone 'submissive', ughhjhh...

Also: like seriously man dont abandon the entire character of Hide five seconds into the plot and struggle to think of anything to do with him for the entire rest of the series. Like man he was pretty well established as an accidental really good love interest, one so good that the idea still kept massive popularity in the fandom over years of Hide not even getting five seconds more screentime. In comparison it took all those years and like five different personality changes for Kaneki and Touko to actually develop the slightest bit of chemistry together. Tho i mean dont look a gift horse in the mouth i guess, i was glad i at least managed to go 'yeah meh they kinda seem in love, im happy with that' by the end of this whole shitshow. Tho its funny how i initially thought that Ajin was a ripoff of Tokyo Ghoul ENTIRELY because Kei and Kai had such a similar relationship to Kaneki and Hide. I.e real good and gripping well established relationship in the first few chapters that could easily have carried the whole damn series, but instead the best friend is dropped as if he has no importance whatsoever and you're left wondering how the fuck someone could have written such realistic chemistry for gay teens entirely by accident. And yknow.. Even just looking at it platonically its still shitty! Like he was the protagonist's Most Important Person for like five seconds and we're expected to believe he suddenly isnt despite not having a reason for the change? Except i guess the author thinks that a normal human's perspective on the supernatural battle nonsense is just not interesting, despite the entire audience seeing these dudes as mega badass for trying to stand up for their monster friend despite not having powers. Sigh! Also weird coincidence that Kai and Hide even look similar lol. Let's split the difference and just crossover ship them with each other! XD

...man i went on a tangeant again

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Aaaaa ugh time of the month started And I’m breaking my ‘no caffeine’ fast AGAIN because I’m just so exhausted and gross feeling and I need it :P and just... uuuugh it doesnt hurt as much as it used to, I get less abdominal cramps now i try sleeping on my back whenever it starts but its still just so draining and demotivating when I know I’m not female yet I’m gonna have to deal with this shit anyway just GUH its so gross stop reminding me i have ovaries period blood fucking SMELLS, even! it smells completely different to regular blood and just a million times worse than anything on earth. i feel just as unclean as people used to treat women on their periods in ancient civilization, its just so horrible i have to pay attention to my ovaries for a week each month i have to be all achey and smell like a monster and constantly never be able to get clean and its so bad cos i have an inconsistant period i can never predict so theres always just that horrible moment of realizing halfway through the day that its started and now a good mood is ruined I refuse to let this mood be ruined, I’m just gonna stop thinking about it, ok take the pain meds and think about ANYTHING ELSE except dysphoria jesus christ and even seriously THE WORST BIT is how my period almost always coincides with my birthday too! it landed on my birthday this year and last year and on my 18th. it always fluctuates around the 12 to the 15th and its always the 12th in october exactly when i dont want it GAHHHH and sometimes its really painful and sometimes its okay and sometimes its REALLY PAINFUL I have these ridiculous blisteringly horrid periods that make me unable to fuckin walk straight cos my entire abdomen has gone numb while I vomit out everything I try to eat and sweat straight through my clothes with fever and friggin hallucinate this year’s birthday i had to go through that I had to WALK HALF A MILE TO THE SHOPS while going through that I was all out of medication and i nearly fucking fainted in the street on the way back I couldnt see anything at all, i was that goddamn dizzy it took me five tries to unlock my own door and i fucking didnt leave the house for a month after having to be outside while i was all gross and sweaty and probably everybody hated me and gahhhh I get paranoid that people can fuckin smell it on me and they know this body is female even if the person inside it isnt... I get paranoid they’ll all know I’m a fake I need to stop spiralling and just take my medicine dear god I keep freaking out more and more each month, i was able to handle this better when i was younger... it just keeps settling in that im gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my LIFE for no goddamn reason at all plz tie my tubes dear god doctor: okay we can talk about the transgender thing later, right now the priority is fixing your depression MY DUDE MY GUY DONT YOU THINK THAT WOULD HELP WITH MY DEPRESSION??? god i know probably he just means my medication would interact badly with testosterone suppliments but whatever seriously can i at least talk to a therapist about it or have my right pronouns used i built up all the courage to tell my support worker and they just pretend like it never happened and i keep cringing every time everyone keeps saying ‘miss’ and ‘woman’ even though I TOLD THEM seriously please dont make me remind you im not brave enough to speak up againnnn its hilarious the only place im out of the closet is frickin DWR CYMRU WATER BILLS COMPANY they added a ‘mx’ option on their registration forms and allowed me to change my details i dont even have it on my birth certificate, i dont even have my psychologist aknowledging it, but my frickin bathroom faucet provider is there for me they provide representation where it counts and also tap repair when it counts just imagine me scraping my claws across my face because that is what i am doing right now I need to eat my takeaway and take my medication and think about LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE okay okay I’ll try doing the measurements to get my custom binder ordered I’ll do that ...maybe tomorrow I dont know I keep putting it off cos I hate looking at my naked chest I wish i just had a bra size to give them but I legit have never known my bra size I couldnt fucking stand getting tested for it and having saleswomen look at me and touch me and talk about fucking breasts like theyre something great and like I’m a fucking woman when im not, please listen to me dear god and everyone’s telling me to get cervical exams for vaginal cancer and blablabla its important to get tested once a year when you’re over 20 but I AM NOT GETTING PEOPLE SHOVING SHIT UP MY HORRIBLE DYSPHORIA ORGAN WHILE TALKING ABOUT HOW FEMALE I APPARANTLY AM god why do i keep spiralling and thinking about everything bad I dont want to think about my body i just want the pieces gone i feel like a lunatic cos even most trans people dont have moments of literally wanting to cut your own stomach open with a knife and take the parts out i get the stupidest most over the top self harm thoughts I spend way too much time thinking of how the fuck I could possibly perform my own top surgery without bleeding out or dying of infection or whatever I ended up dwelling on it way too much when that old comic Y The LLast Man mentioned amazons ‘burning off their left boob’ as a sign of fellowship or something, I spent ages trying to figure out how the fuck you do that and how I could do it right now someone save me from this flesh coffin gross fucking sacks of uselessness and a spiderweb of disgusting blood organs that serve no purpose except punishing me every month for not wanting to have sex yeah geez fucking christ isnt femininity great cant imagine why anyone would ever not want to be a woman gahhhh and then I end up being a rude piece of shit and probably alienating all my trans woman friends who want this kind of body, and im just like PLEASE TAKE IT AWAY why cant there be a magical ray that lets us swap give me a way to pretend I’m being generous instead of selfish by self-mutilating this sad sack of a body gahhh ... sorry, dont take it serious guys, I’m just venting. I’ve had a lot of disturbing self hate thoughts before but I havent acted on them since I was a teenager. Its not all dysphoric though, sometimes god likes to spice it up by making me imagine slicing my own eyeballs out of my head or whatever XD i was having such a good day, I was going to go start drawing again... why now...

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also wtf who designed rune factory 4 this way THIS IS MY ONLY COMPLAINT IN AN AMAZING GAME why are all the romance routes entirely random?? even after youve reached the relationship milestones its COMPLETELY RANDOM whether the event will start every day same for every friendship event and town event and even some plot events you just have to sit there at your bed constantly skipping days for multiple years til the random number god gives you the marriage scene you did EVERYTHING to earn this marriage scene and you have nothing left to do but wait and youll never see any new events with that character until it happens, and you have a very limited amount of dates to go on while youre waiting, and they all do NOTHING except raise the relationship bar over maximum which does nothing. doesnt even increase the chance of the random event?? why even LET me increase it over maximum if it does nothing? thats just tricking me into thinking i havent unlocked the marriage event yet! when I HAVE and i just need to WAIT A BAZILLION YEARS OF RANDOM

anyway i finally got Leon’s random marriage quest and it was Awesome and So Many Tears and now im even more conflicted on who to marry gahhhhh its such a shame you cant resolve everyone’s plot unless you date them, i feel so bad dating all these people when im not able to marry them all, just cos i wanna fix their lives and make them happy but then theyre gon be sad that we didnt get married aaaa

and Leon is especially saddddd

now cos his whole plot is that he had a depressing scenario with a friend as a kid. She loved him but he saw her as just a little sister, and he jokingly promised to marry her once when they were too young to understand. And he didnt know she took it seriously until after he DIED and reincarnated as a fox monster person centuries later too late to do anything about it. And he’s crushed full of guilt that he somehow led her on, and he was never able to apologise, and he’s scared she spent her whole life waiting for him to come back. and then you get this very cool series of sidequests thatre a realistic look at translating languages, and its really motivational how leon is able to help bring knowledge of a dead language back to life and preserve the ancient culture that people thought was lost BUT THEN ENDLESS FUCKIN TRAGEDY kiel accidentally finds an old diary of leon’s friend (WHAT ARE THE ODDS) and he has frickin detailed anxiety attacks unable to even hold the damn paper cos he’s shaking so much and you go on a big treasure hunt to find all the pages and he’s just CRYING SO MUCH mr playboy man! mr flirty asshole! mr stoic! he’s fuckin crying and he cant hold a book without your help and aaaa and his whole story is about how he isnt really the negative stereotypes of a flirty character, he really REALLY values love and he feels depressed he cant love everyone who loves him, so he tries to fake it. And he tries to push people away whenever it seems genuine, but also like... entertain them enough that they dont feel he doesnt love them, i guess? and no matter how promiscuous a person is, they still cant love EVERYONE, you cant just force a relationship on them and say they must be asking for it cos they date other people and enjoy sex. its so depressing that he considers his biggest flaw that he wasnt able to force himself to love someone he didnt, especially when he did care about her, just as a best friend instead! if theyd just talked about it, it would have saved all this heartache for both of them! so then we start piecing together this book and it looks like his worst fears are confirmed, she spent her whole life waiting for him and hating him and its really fucking EXPLODINGLY SAD and then the quest is a bit confusing so i spent several days stuck on this point not knowing who to talk to next, going through random dungeons in case that somehow helped. turned out i did find the right spot but the quest just doesnt progress until you talk to the right person first GAH! stuck for five days on crying leon scene!! NOOOOOO but I finally got past it and CLIMACTIC HAPPY END or bittersweet end more like we find out we mistranslated one bit which was actually PAGE NUMBERS, and we were missing a page all along! and then the final page reveals that she actually moved on and found a new love and had a happy family and grew old together, and her only frustration with leon was imagining that he couldnt find the same thing, worrying that she’d betrayed him. So this wasnt a diary, it was actually a letter she wrote for him to find, having confidence he’d wake up someday and have another chance at happiness! She just wanted him to know that she kept his memory alive and she’s sorry and she was happy and AAAAAAUUUGH im tearing up again the bit that really got me was that we find out that leon’s favourite romance novel was actually written by her. It was so popular it survived into the modern day as a literature classic, and it convinces him that she really was happy with her new boyfriend if she could write something as beautiful as this. And he wants to embody the spirit of the book with you, and keep his new promise to her to have a happy family of his own :) ... AGHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHH why cant i marry everyone why do so many of them have plots where it seems like they wont be happy unless i love them... even now i dont really think the leon pairing is my favourite, i wish i could have had this plot as a friendship route! i think it would have resonated just as much since the whole backstory is about him being friends with someone who had unrequited love for him. i wanna be leon’s bestie and ultimate wingman! I like him a lot but I dont really think i wanna marry him! IM SO SORRY LEON AAAA he’s such a soulful beefcake dammit I’m sure he’d find a bazillion better lovers! I’m sure a lot of players did marry him! WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY AAAAA its not fair, aaaa arthur was the first one i dated and i also really care about him but in his case his way of acting in the romance isnt very different to when youre just friends so i dont think i wanna commit to that relationship maybe? it might change when i see his final random event but i dont get much ‘he’ll be happy with you’ vibes, its just strengthening their powerful brotp that they had from the start of the game. he feels like someone protagonist would indeed date, but theyd part again on friendly terms after it didnt work out, and then be amicable exes who still care a lot about each other. and I just feel like I wanna marry dylas even though he’s had the least tragic events so far. gahhhh! he just seems SO HAPPY dating you, and has loads of character development since it started, unlike the other two ive seen the dates for. he feels like he’s actually getting something out of this that he wouldnt if we were just friends? its so hard trying to weigh up the pros and cons of romance options in games when im inacapble of actually being attracted to anyone, its just ‘i care about you all and i wanna give you the best possible ending’. I haaaaate when games have it so that romance is always the best possible ending for every single character and they all suffer forever if you dont pick them :P and I havent even seen the romances with the other three dudes yet! GAHHHHH!! Theyre all the ones I wasnt immediately interested in dating, but that opinion could totally change, i could end up with a six way tie :P ... ALSO RANDOM BUT is anyone else really uncomfortable with the queerbaiting in this game? there is a LOt, a LOT of ‘lol maybe gay’, sometimes so clear that it seems the game is outright canonically stating this character is gay or bisexual yet you have no option to marry them unless youre the opposite sex. It gets REALLY uncomfortable with Dylas, he just,,, does not express any interest in women at all unless the player pursues him. And his mutual crush with doug is CONSTANTLY REFERENCED, and called out very clearly for what it is. IOf the game didnt keep pointing it out i would have been able to shrug it off as just accidental chemistry from a failed rivalry plotline or something, but we have EVERYONE saying ‘oh a lover’s quarrel’ and ‘be honest about your feelings’ and ‘i bet you wanna see doug in a swimsuit’ and ‘gee i really wanna see doug in a swimsuit’ and IT CANT BE ANY MORE CANON THAN THIS. And.. like.. Dylas even says he DOESNT wanna see women in swimsuits, he’s just here at the beach cos Doug might come along. He does not express any interest in women at all except the protagonist! It makes me feel SO uncomfortable! it feels like he’s actually gay, when with most other characters they seem bisexual?? I dunno how to explain it, thats just how it comes off to me. Why is there no option for him and doug to date, why cant i date him as the male protagonist?? His romance route is so totally gender neutral, i did the postgame protagonist swap cheat and it just feels more in-character for him this way. if im gonna steal him away from Doug i dont want it to be a weird gay conversion therapy type thing, it just feels so WEIRD. The one and ONLY stated crush he has on another character, and its gay, and theres NO OPTION FOR IT TO HAPPEN and then he suddenly becomes 100% straight and never talks about doug again if a fem protagonist dates him. SO WEEEEEIRD... I’m just gonna sit here on the non-canon bonus feature dylas x male protag train and never leave. If you cant have doug you shall have the transitioned me! Its funny cos he’s like the only batchelor i very vehemently cannot ship with fem protag, yet do with male protag :P but GAHHH leon deserves a family and i could give him a child and aaaaa SO HARD TO CHOOSE also i am sad that the postgame cheatmode lets you switch to any character but if its not one of the two protags its only your overworld model and not your face portraits. Its weird because every batchelor and batchelorette has the exact same full set of emotions and costumes, so why cant i access that?? its also a shame cos it means i cant roleplay my doug and dylas marriage properly :P CMON MAN WHY U EVEN TELL ME THEY IN LOVE IF THEY CANT BE IN LOVE :P they have the best portmanteau ship name too! douglas! :P