#Fun Fact: I am a weak ass bitch for family dynamics

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Hello! Just wondering could you do a Dabi/Touya and Shouto brothers fluff? I really love these two characters and I'm dead set on the theory that Dabi is Touya Todoroki. Also, I really want to see a fic of these two in your writing because you're an amazing writer. Please and thank you!

THIS MAKES MY HEART!!!! SO HAPPY!!!! AH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOY THIS LITTLE FIC!!!!!

Fuck Todoroki Enji. Fuck that piece of shit right to Hell.

Touya shifted to his side with a groan, hissing when a fresh welt on his wrist touched the sparring mat floor, and waited for the spots in his vision to flicker away. Everything hurt. His head was pounding miserably for some reason he couldn't recall at that moment. He yanked his arm back towards himself and glared down at the mat, as if it had put him in the shitty position. If only it had. He could torch the damn thing to oblivion and never have to deal with this kind of agony again! Instead, he was stuck like this, littered in welts and bruises and burns, wondering why whatever greater power there was liked to screw him over like this.

He tapped a tender spot on his head and remembered why, exactly, he'd been left as a crumpled heap on the floor. He forced himself to his feet, forcing his legs to hold steady, while his eyes swept the room. He spotted him across the room, curled in on himself and whimpering. His right side was up in the air, jagged bits of ice protruding from his shoulder and arm, like some kind of frigid makeshift shield.

Touya slumped his shoulders in a bit of relief before starting to make his way over. He had to take it slow to keep from agitating the various wounds he knew lurched under his shirt. "Shoto," he called quietly, stopping a few steps away from the other.

There was a hiccuping, choked breath before a pale grey eye fixed on him. "Touya?" he mumbled, his voice shaking. Whether that was from fear or overexerting his ice Quirk, though, the older boy couldn't say.

"Yeah. Come on, get up. We need to get patched up before that old bastard comes back or Fuyumi finds us. You know how she gets," he said, holding a hand out to him.

Shoto's movements were sluggish and stiff, his right side so frosted over his limbs couldn't move easily. Touya sighed and pulled him into a sitting up position before hobbling back across the room. Their old man wasn’t a particularly kind man, but one of the few graces he offered was a medical kit being kept in the room. Though, if he was honest, he suspected it had less to do with care for his kids and more for the sake of peace. He’d started stashing them there after a few incidents where, after particularly grueling sessions, Fuyumi had panicked over treating he and Shoto that he kept them there. Listening to his mistake of a daughter fretting over his precious little masterpieces’ must have been so inconvenient for a Pro like Endeavor, after all. He would become incredibly aggressive and agitated whenever Fuyumi and Natsuo tried to speak out and protest what their father put their oldest and youngest brother through. More times than not, he would scream and shout at the pair, breaking them down with his words much worse than any blade ever could, and then retaliate on Touya and Shoto with harsher training, with pushing their limits that much farther.

Filthy monster. Bastard. And for what? Some delusional idea of what he was owed by his field of work? A revolting sense of entitlement?

He cast the thought aside as he returned to Shoto’s side with the medical kit. The gauze covering Shoto’s left side was damp and Touya mentally prepared himself to have to change it. The other boy always flinched away from having that wound tended; whether because it was still tender only a week later, or simply that the memory tugged at his young heart too terribly, he couldn’t say. The younger boy was still trembling like a leaf, the ice coating his right side still as pronounced as before. “Come here, Shoto,” he mumbled, holding his arms out.

The younger shuffled over and Touya carefully pressed him to his chest, adjusting his own internal temperature and calling a small flame up in one hand to hold in front of the younger boy. He really shouldn’t still be using his Quirk, with how his body ached and his very bones seemed to throb in protest, but he forced himself to do it anyway. “Thank you, Nii-Chan,” he mumbled, holding his own trembling and blistered hands up towards it.

“You could use your own fire to keep yourself warm, you know,” he pointed out.

He whined and shook his head, slumping into him more. “No. My fire is bad like Father’s fire is bad,” he muttered back.

He snorted. “And my fire is so different?”

“It is. Nii-Chan’s fire is warm in a good way. A safe way. It could never hurt me, because Nii-Chan would never hurt me,” Touya’s eyes widened as he stared down at his youngest sibling, at how his small form was so lax in his arms. He bit his tongue as he held the other, watching the ice melt away and his shivers faded. He took his time in tending to Shoto’s wounds, being mindful of his comfort while still assuring his wounds were well tended. There was only so much he could do with the limited supplies in the medical kit but he tried, his mind whirling.

“You will fight Shoto as an equal. Hit him with the full brunt of your fire,”

“I won’t,”

“You will do as you are told, you ungrateful little-!”

“I’m not going to hurt my brother just because you told me to!”

His own body felt like it was made of lead and screamed in pain with every move but he forced it to keep going. Why, he wondered briefly, had he been cursed like this? Why had he been given such an impressive power but a body that wasn’t built for it? Why was he born the eldest, charged with protecting his siblings, when he was barely any bigger than Natsuo? Why did they have to belong to a monster hiding under the mask of a Hero, who would lay his wife and children down as sacrificial lambs to the altar of his own greed and ambition?

He led Shoto out of the training room, forcing a smile on to his face when the smaller boy reached out timidly to take his hand.

[icharchivist]

Ramble about the Hisoka&Chikage dynamic (w/ spoilers for the two Winter Play Events and chapter 5) and more personal stuff under the cut

Either way the thing i found really cruel with the Chikage arc is that, Hisoka was already on top of my fav list, but since he was amnesic he wasn’t defined by much aside from “his amnesia most likely come from his trauma”, and learning that he has a guilt complex/is responsible for someone’s death and it’s likely that this death is what triggered the amnesia, and that’s it. 

and i thought i was safe with that bc What Could Go Wrong meanwhile i could relate on being a Sleepy Bitch like Hisoka (hell i used to be able to sleep ANYWHERE before and often fell asleep in class or in a corner on trip, before anxiety indulced Insomnia started to kick my ass.) and i have memories issue, trauma babey, so like, My Kin Now:tm: (i have more reasons but that’s the funny short version)

but then the Winter Chapter ended with the April’s cliffhanger and the thing is that i was aware of Chikage’s cards and i knew of that one card from the “past self” set which was matching with Hisoka, so it was obvious that Chikage=April and that Chikage and Hisoka both were spies

and it fucked me up and from all the rookies’s build ups from the events it’s Chikage’s that fucked me up the most bc he specifically appears in Winter chapter, makes it clear he’s lurking on Hisoka LIKE THIS IS CHIKAGE’S FIRST APPEARANCE

IS WHEN TASUKU PICKS UP HISOKA AFTER HE COLLAPSES.. AND NOW WE KNOW IT WAS CHIKAGE’S ROLE..... HE LITTERALLY SLIDES ON SCREEN TO DECIDE TO TAKE ACTION ON HISOKA WHILE SEEING SOMEONE FILLING HIS ROLE OF CARETAKER OF HISOKA.....

And then Chikage leaves Hisoka flowers saying it “means a lot to him” to send those flowers and considering the whole Flower Language in the game it had to be on purpose so i checked up the flowers he sent Hisoka and i’m a crying mess

Second Winter Play:

(red pre chap 5, green post chap 5)

Third Winter Play:

and i’m a messssss because while the first one can have resentment in it it also showcase the specific grief Chikage denied himself to feel??? even the grief he felt FOR Hisoka. But the second one is so positive and hopeful like Chikage doesn’t WANT to turn on Hisoka like he planned and i’m a fucking disaster.

COUGHS anyway i got lost but, the thing is that, the fact the direction they took with the complex relationship between the three siblings is. The sort of sibling relationship i connect with because this is closer to what i can relate. 

it is a similar reason why i’m fascinated with the Wales brothers in gbf, with the fact the youngest brother had to bear the burden of his older brother disappearing and his other brother going off rails and taking it out on him, before being torn by guilt and realizing he ought to make it up to his brother. 

And if you boil down the Hisoka/Chikage/August storyline it’s the same thing happening, except Chikage specifically BLAMED Hisoka for August’s death, and Hisoka felt guilty and responsible and beared that burden.

And honestly i already connect much more with sibling dynamics when the youngest of the bunch is bearing the burden of their dynamic bc, mood.

But, as someone who had my eldest sister ran away from home when i was a kid and my other sister turning on me and pushing me away because, as she told me ways later, she badly lived the abandon and she knew i was closer to my eldest sister so she pushed me away in a form of jealousy AND the fact we were not allowed to talk about my runaway sister, we had to act like she never existed, and it was extremely frustrating so my sister shifted the blame on me

bc Chikage was always a bit jealous of how close Hisoka and August were and then when August died, with the inability to process his grief, he had to blame Hisoka.

And like, if the Wales Brothers’ dynamic punched me in the face, this was a suckerpunch because bro that hit, ways too close from home??? on a character i already kinda can project on?? (even though my behavior and coping mechanisms are closer to Azuma bc of the shared Abandon Issues and all but man it’s not like i had nothing on Hisoka yaknow?)

And, meanwhile, Hisoka and Chikage fixed their relationship. They opened up about their trauma, they cleared it up, they decided to heal together and getting better, and this is something that’s fucking me up a LOT because... it’s not something i can have? My sister and I shared our trauma but we’re still so distant and so caught in our parents’s bullshit that my sister KEEPS shifting the blame on me for anything going wrong with our family, especially lately with our dad. 

It was something that made me irrationally emotional with the Wales bro already but here destroys me, the fantasy of /fixing/ it. The fantasy of, after this hardship, managing to realize they can rely on one another and be there through their trauma. And, for Hisoka and Chikage, this desire to rebuild their family, in a less toxic environment. It’s something i can’t have, and don’t even really /want/ because the relationship with my sister is too damaged and we’re too different as people, but the fantasy of it being a possibility somewhere makes me weak on my knees.

(+ tbh a3 is HEALING bc with the Wales bro, the youngest is still the most responsible one, he still has to carry this burden, he has so much on his shoulders, and it’s... heavy when you get to project a bit on his story. While Hisoka is, on the contrary, encouraged to rest in order to recover. He’s encouraged to keep sleeping, to do stuff he likes, to nurse himself back to health, and this is so HEALING to have to see the characters who’s trauma you relate to being told that they don’t have to just “carry on” but, that they can be safe to rest now. (likewise with Azuma who’s also encouraged to rest and take care and rely on others without being punished about pushing people away. Instead it’s his friends picking up how to read him to counter Azuma’s first instict that is to isolate himself, without lecturing him about how he shouldn’t do that.), a3′s way to tackle trauma and recovery is seriously getting to me SO BAD like, it’s really healing to me)

Adding to that that, independantly to it all, I genuinely adore Chikage, he’s fun, he’s sneaky, he’s an ass, but he cares so much, and everything is because he cares ways too much, he’s so damaged and was never allowed to have room to get better and now he does, and he built so much walls around himself, his lies are just that (i’ve seen someone call it gas//l//ighting and DEAR LORD learn the meaning of words he doesn’t do that AT ALL) he just lies to throw off people, he tells people right away that he lies, even when it would protect him to keep on the charade (see his lie to Sakyo to cover up when he kidnapped Izumi), they’re walls in order to keep people away, to keep them from asking about him, and like he says to Tsuzuru because there’s weakness to be exploited in the truth, which is a paranoia that is completely legit to have when he’s litterally an informant/hacker spy?? 

he’s completely different from my sister, which is ironic, but therefore i do not even manage to project this thing fully on him. Hell, i crush on Chikage. I have terrible taste but good lord he’s been appearing in my dreams every day lately what the fuck Chikage. (litterally my top 3 chara is just “1) Kin in regard to the lore, 2) Kin in the coping mechanism, 3) Crushing ways too hard on him, am a total simp”)

Also meanwhile the fact the whole ending is “we’re leaving the organization (which was their family), we have a found family now, but together” is peak fantasy for someone like me and i’m always crying over the Mankai Found Family, but just, going “screw the previous family”? but..... the two of them together? I’m a mess. Especially adding to the fact Hisoka got SO close to the Winter Troupe and with the course of the events it really shows how precious they became to one another, this found family remains so precious to Hisoka (hell he bothers Homare and Tasuku as much as he bothers Chikage dLKFJD) he just, wants Chikage to experience this happiness too instead of letting himself collapse under his trauma and i’m!!! aaaah!!

So yeah what i’m getting at is, that, I thought i would be safe from Hisoka’s arc, that i wouldn’t be this emotionally invested in it, i was already too emotionally invested in Azuma’s bc Azuma has my coping mechanisms, but instead the plot took me by the throat with the direct sibling dynamic i REALLY feel for, it hit WAYS too close from home, with a storyline i can HEAVILY empathize with, and feel pain for both Hisoka and Chikage because i get both sides so hard, and i HAD to fall for one of those morons.

I’ve been playing a3 for over a year, started playing when the EN server lautched, and i had been emotionally involved in all of it, a LOT, i’ve played it every day in over a year, i’m up to date with everything, i feel so much for it, but despite that i felt like i was keeping it mostly lowkey, like i wasnt /obsessed/

but this storyline ruined me. This storyline brought this lowkey obsession to highkey at full speed. 

And all of that bc i genuinely loved Hisoka before those truthbombs, that those made me love him even more, that Chikage became SO loveable and has been living in my mind rentfree ever since, and that the dynamic they touch is both too close from home while also being unrealistic (as in how they fixed their dynamic), but in a “fantasy i love to indulge in” kind of unrealistic and it is destroying me.

so yeah, A3 good, i can’t get over how GOOD the writing is, but also that fucking wrecked me.