#From Phlegmatic to Amorousness

[hwnglx]

i actually liked his energy a lot, it was quite clear and direct. hope it's a nice read!

eunseok's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

shuffled song: anchor by novo amor

+ eunseok is incredibly strong. he knows and understands the power of hard work, and is not the type to back down from a challenge. he's the type to work quietly but immensely hard, especially if he's assigned with a task. he's amazing at fiercely concentrating and zoning on what he needs to do, and doesn't allow any circumstances to stand in the way of him getting done what needs to be done. in my minds eye, i kept seeing him and the riize members in the practice room together while he was clapping his hands and saying ”정신 차려 얘들아!” which translates to “lets concentrate, guys!” he very much gives me second leader vibes. who just displays this rock and source of stability for the rest of the group. the capricorn moon energy is strong for him.

his energy is also very self-sacrificing and unselfish. he's a person blessed with a good connection to his inner voice and intuition, very emotionally intelligent guy. this results in him naturally attuning himself and his actions to the various needs of the people he's surrounded with; just a lot of focus and value on team harmony. he doesn't put his own desires above anyone, and understands the benefit of adapting himself to the group, for the sake of smooth teamwork.

another quality adding to this pronounced selflessness in eunseok, is his ability to put his own negative emotions aside for the sake of other people. this is something i've observed and heard about capricorn moons; they can often give off this stoic and phlegmatic vibe, where it seems like nothing truly affects them.. however, this isn't due to them not actually having any feelings, but moreso because they put responsibility and stability over their own emotions. meaning, they don't always allow themselves to really dive into their emotions, because they feel this innate responsibility to become a source of stability for others, which makes them suck their own tears in and remain calm.

eunseok does have his moments of disappointment, regret, insecurity; but instead of crying it out, he can have the habit of rationalising it. let's say the group is in a moment of despair and most members are heavily caught up in emotion; it's highly likely for eunseok to be the guy with a dry face, trying to comfort his members and get them to calm down. i can even see him being a source of support to the leader sungchan, who strikes me as much more emotionally out there.

it's interesting because on the one hand, he can be very headstrong and determined in his actions, but on the other hand he can also approach situations with this calm patience, when needed. he's just very adaptable, and not someone who gets knocked out of his flow easily. it's like, he doesn't mind life coming at him because he knows he can handle everything with his calm and composed attitude.

having that said, eunseok still isn't an easy or defenceless guy. if the need to speak up presents itself in a situation, he will be ready to defend himself and hold his ground no doubt about it. again, there seems to be an abundance of inner strength and resilience in him, which also showcases itself in his excellent ability to remain determined, driven, perseverant and persistent. he stands by his opinions, isn't gullible or easily swayed, and knows how to push through challenges in a powerful manner.

- so, eunseok is impressingly mature, and gives me this vibe of someone who had to grow up quite fast. maybe that's the reason why he's the type of person to burden himself with responsibilities not everyone expects from him. to explain, riize are still very much like the page of pentacles here. at the beginning of their journey, still trying to find their way, inevitably inexperienced and slightly awkward or insecure in some areas still, but very ambitious and eager to develop in their journey. that's completely normal. however, eunseok is already putting the weight of having to be like the emperor on top of him, because he again, feels like he needs to be a stable existence for the group or the people around him. this desire of helping and being the mature person, comes to him very naturally; so much so, that he just isn't the type to allow himself to be vulnerable and insecure sometimes. he always feels the need to step up and be the strong guy, and can dismiss a lot of his own troubles or concerns due to this.

the moon afterwards is telling me, he just hides and buries many of his own fears and worries inside of him, and can tend to disguise them behind a strong demeanour. he can be very hard on himself and not allow himself to break at any given moment, which makes it even more frustrating for his mind if he ever gets to a point of mental anguish. there's also this sense of.. “if i ever have a problem, that is my burden to deal with, and not anyone else's weight to carry” he doesn't like the thought of anyone holding the weight of his own emotions, so he can be very dismissive of his insecurities.

he can not only be hard on himself, but also quite strict with the people around him. he just keeps giving me this father-like energy, where he wants to keep guiding and leading people. i can however sense him potentially having difficulty controlling his tone of voice once he gets into a disagreement, and just wording himself in a way which can be kinda rigid and hurtful. he can can come off controlling, overly strict and harsh, in a way that could potentially bruise people of more sensitive nature, or bother people who easily feel constricted by people like that. his actual intentions are good, but he can put himself into a position where they could be easily misunderstood.

it does seem as though he himself is aware of this habit of his, because he's very introspective and reflects on his actions. yet he can get avoidant at times, and might have problems being honest about his faults. although inside he knows he was wrong, he puts himself in a position where he could be blamed for not wanting to own up to his wrongdoings. i do think ego and pride plays a role here too, since i can see a dilemma between his values of holding himself accountable, but also wanting to avoid the bruise to the ego, that could be caused from potentially admitting his mistake.

[crystalofmoon19]

Striker x Mexican (Latina) Reader - Headcannons

● You certainly caught his interest when he noticed that you had Hispanic roots, he had already met some people of your same origins in Wrath, a clear example of that was the mariachis that always sang songs about him. Even though he was sick of them, seeing that in you was endearing.

● He already knew some words in Spanish, but when he heard you speak them he already had his eyes on you, you had a rather distinctive accent that he couldn't miss.

● One day he decided to speak in Spanish with you and that had produced interesting results, as you found yourself constantly correcting him on his sentences.

● It was a low blow to his big ego and you couldn't have more fun with this.

"So, what does "vil víbora'" mean?"

"Oh, that means vile viper in spanish."

"Wait! You were calling me like that this whole time?"

"Of course I did, what did you expect?"

"I thought you were flirting with me!"

● He definitely had to learn a lot of Spanish and you also had no problems teaching him your native language.

● You stood out from many other girls he had known because of how brave you were, you exuded great energy wherever you went, you even dared to play the pain games at the harvest moon festival and you had to fight him. Even though you lost to him, you never gave up and continued giving everything until your body could no longer resist, with that you earned Striker's respect, very few could do what you did.

● You had a melodious voice that you used to sing some songs in Spanish and every time Striker heard them he couldn't help but feel enthralled by them. It's as if you were a kind of siren attracting him with your song.

● You were easy to get angry and overflowed with a lot of emotions, Striker liked that, but above all things he saw that you had a big heart. You loved your family and your friends, and you did everything in your power to help them, you even helped him as much as you could and Striker was captivated by that.

● He made a great effort to go out with you, since apparently you were very resistant to his charms and you are ultimately the girl who had the hardest time conquering of all of them, he even had to ask the mariachis for help one day to give him options to conquer you

● Striker had to serenade you with the help of his mariachis along with a romantic dinner for you to even accept him on the first date.

● However, when you formalized their relationship, all the time invested was worth it.

● You were extremely affectionate with him, you hugged him and kissed him whenever you could, you called him "mi amor" (my love), "mi vida" (my life), "mi güero" (my blondie) and "papi" (daddy). When you explained to him the meaning of all those words, he puffed out his chest with pride.

● He for his part called you "darlin'", "sugarcube", "sunshine", "sugah'" and sometimes "hun" and you were happy with this.

● But just as you could be affectionate you could also get angry with him, when you found out that Striker had done something bad, you were the first to point it out to him and you would slap him or pull his ear. And as a last punishment you sent him to sleep on the couch for a week or more; Striker quickly learned to be obedient to you after that.

● You also had your arguments, after all you both had a phlegmatic nature, his pride and your passion could clash many times, but despite everything yo two resolved your differences to correct your mistakes and work as a team.

● When you introduced Striker to your family, it was the first time in a long time that he felt nervous, he didn't want to make the best impression but he also didn't want to be on bad terms with your parents.

● Fortunately your mother accepted Striker without much problem and your father, although it took him longer to accept him, he ended up doing so when he saw that you two loved each other.

● You and Striker have taken care of your little siblings hundreds of times, Striker didn't like taking care of children, but when he saw you were so motherly with your little siblings. He thought that you could be the ideal mother of his children and from then on he thought about always being by your side.

● Oh yes, you two also watch Hell-a-Novela together on TV, it's your favorite show and Striker knows it. That's why whenever he sees it with you, he says that you're the Gabriella to his Alejandro, to which you just laugh and agree saying the same thing.

[steelfyre]

࣪𓏲ּ  ֶָ  𝑤𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑠𝒕𝒗  ⁝         bie thassapak hsu,  36,  cis man,  he / him.    announcing  the  arrival  of  klahan  of  house  rogare,  the  first magister of lys.  whispers  among  the  court  name  them  to  be  both  steadfast  and  machiavellian  in  disposition,  and  those  closest  to  them  speak  to  their  interests  in  cyvasse & political strategy.  if  we  bards  could  compose  a  song  for  them,  it  might  tell  stories  of  how in the game of sharp swords and loud words , the deadliest weapon on the board is the one unseen until it's too late ; fated to never be ares reborn , he sharpened his mind as if it was a blade - athena's son can spell equal destruction for it was divine wisdom that inspired the trojan horse ; the brightest sun illuminates the halls but also casts the darkest shadows ; candlelight flickering across the titles of books in an ever growing library , knowledge valued equally to the gold and secrets filling lyseni vaults.  the  seven  whisper  to  their  most  devout  queen  as  she  sleeps,  making  her  question  where  their  loyalties  truly  lie.  are  they  right  to  whisper?  for  their  loyalties  truly  lie  with  the emperor of essos.

basic information.

official name: klahan rogare. nickname: han. noble title: first magister of lys , lord of lys. date of birth: january 3rd. age: thirty-six. birthplace: lys , essos. home: lys. nationality: essosi. gender: cis man. pronouns: he / him. orientation: heterosexual , heteroromantic. monikers: the sun of lys , the golden sun. languages: lyseni high valyrian , fluent. also fluent in other valyrian dialects from across essos. the common tongue , fluent. accent: like liquid gold , smooth and charming , carrying an air of quiet confidence and authority but not arrogance.

physical information.

faceclaim: bie thassapak hsu. ethnicity: valyrian. hair: black. eyes: lilac. height: six feet , two inches. build: lean with muscular arms and torso. scent: nothing distinct. dominant hand: right. allergies: none. scars: multiple on his injured left leg from unsuccessful medical interventions to restore it back to its full function. distinguishing features: his valyrian eyes and the slight limp he walks with. clothing style: doesn't stray from the essosi styles. while his attire doesn't appear extravagant, one need only to look closer to know that rogare wealth is subtly displayed in the choice of expensive fabrics and the rings that adorn his fingers.

personality.

positive: steadfast ,  decisive ,  perceptive , confident ,  astute , tactical. negative: machiavellian ,  ruthless ,  amoral , calculative , proud , deceptive. label: the machiavellian , the puppet master. mbti: entj - the commander. enneagram: 3w4 , the expert. element: fire. star sign: capricorn. temperament: phlegmatic. moral alignment: true neutral. character inspirations: michael corleone. deadly sin: greed , pride , wrath. heavenly virtue : patience. godly parent: athena.

drives.

hobbies: cyvasse , political strategy , hawking , reading with a particular interest in history , politics , and the art of espionage. religion: not religious but is knowledgeable about r'hllor. alliance: house rogare , then the emperor of essos. personal goals: for house rogare's power and influence to grow. to claim his rightful role as head of the rogare bank. would they choose family or power?: power.

family ties.

father: lord darko rogare , deceased. relationship: tba. sibling: llord/lady/liege utp rogare. relationship: tba. sister: lady amera rogare. relationship: tba. sibling: lord/lady/liege utp rogare. relationship: tba. aunt/uncle: lord/lady/liege utp rogare. relationship: tba.

history.

the prized heir of house rogare, the shining sun that promised that light would remain shining upon the family's future, was not always viewed as such. too gentle, his father once called him as if that was the worst thing a person could be. and perhaps he was. klahan preferred sitting in the rogare gardens with his head buried in a book than sword fighting or hunting. his father gifted him a hawk for one of his name days in hopes it'd inspire an interest in hawking, and eventually it was a hobby klahan grew to enjoy, but initially he was more focused on raising and training the bird as a pet. he might have been pushed to the side, especially as house rogare welcomed more children, but his mind saved him from such a fate. the first signs of his intellect was the speed at which he learned to read; then came how quickly he could memorize passages in books, reciting them word for word with ease; and finally, one time at a gathering he, going unnoticed, observed and recounted a conversation between two scheming against the rogares to his father, which enabled the threat to be stopped before any harm could be done.

his worth proven, he became his father's shadow. the son nearly shunned now treated like a prince in all but name. lessons were quickly absorbed, even passing remarks remembered with vivid clarity, and excellence not a choice but a requirement. expectations never ceased, every error was met with harsh reprimands, a reminder that failure was unforgivable. klahan rose to meet them, but unlike icarus, he'd built his wings out of a sturdy material and flew without fear of a fall. much to his father's delight, time and experience crushed the gentleness that once existed within klahan. ruthlessness found a home where it'd once been. the more involved he became with the family's business, the more morality waned too.

an desire to excel in all aspects of life was what led klahan to pick up a sword and join hunts despite a quiet disinterest. weapons of steel were too obvious, and the pain they dealt too fleeting in comparison to the damage meticulously targeted secrets could do. but drako rogare wanted a warrior too so his son played the part. until the day a god decreed the rogare could not have it all. his horse spooked on a hunt and the fall left klahan with a injured leg that would never fully heal. a warrior he would never be but his mind, forever his greatest weapon, remained untouched.

the accident didn't alter his place as the rogare's golden heir, not when klahan adapted and continued to excell. the quiet man in the corner, listening as his father commanded the room, might be overlooked by some but rather than raise his voice, he allowed the misconception to linger for it enabled him to gather more information, safeguarding the family and the business against any who dared wishing it harm.

klahan was unprepared for his father's death. one day he was there and the next he wasn't. however, no one save those who knew the man would have noticed due to how quickly he worked to establish his control, a necessity when his uncle was circling them like a shark. the control of the bank ending up in his hands was a knife twisting in klahan's flesh. but after the initial waves of anger washed over him, determination took up residence. clashes were inevitable, seemingly polite exchanged undermined by palpable tension, waiting to explode. for now it remained contained as klahan waited for ideal time to take back full control.

headcanons.

while not a common known fact outside of the rogare family, klahan has as a near genius level intellect and his memory is second to none. he isn't someone to forget a face or an offhand comment, though he will occasionally act like he has. in his eyes, there is no point boasting about one's intelligence or memory because then people will know they must try countering it when plotting their schemes. he far prefers being falsely underestimated.

very observant. rarely is he not paying attention to his surroundings, particularly listening to conversations, even when he looks like he isn't.

he still has a slight limp from his accident. it no longer causes him much pain unless he has to sit still or stand for long periods of time. because of that he does carry a cane but how much he uses it depends on how his leg is feeling. he also doesn't horseback ride or go on hunts, though he will join the hunting party at the camp.

he greatly enjoys strategy games. it lets him see how possible opponents think. his favorite game is cyvasse, of which he is considered a master at, even beating his father on occasion.

a man of many faces, klahan can either come across as realistic and remote or charming and confident, but he is careful to never show the true darkness, greed, and ruthlessness lingering in his soul.

is willing to do whatever he must to further his and his family's aims whether it be the moral choice or not. very much has a "the end justices the means". he is not bad but neither is he good.

much to his surprise, he grew to genuinely enjoy hawking and has a hawk as a pet. name tbd.

wanted connections. | established connections.

[semantic-diarium]

Teu amor putativo.

(Your feigned love.)

E antes te ti, cultivava certa pistantrofobia em meu coração, já a muito estilhaçado e dilacerado, junto da certeza e da razão que a muito mantiveram minha fé e sentimentos reféns, até mesmo de pessoas de bem.

Me vi então irrefragável diante de ti, tomada, tão crente de teus toques e dizeres acalentadores, ternura essa tua que minha razão domou como uma fera, se fez então domesticada.

Posturada a crer que o enfêmero jamais cruzasse meu caminho novamente, que daquele dia agora eu chamava de "nosso".

Maldito seja esse meu "eu" tão pacóvio... beirando ao fleumático... Aah... Tola! Idiota! Ignorante!

Se eu soubesse desse teu lado aporético entre a tua razão e a minha emoção...entre teus objetivos sem um pingo de solidez e meus pedidos de atenção, se eu soubesse que eu deixaria de ser tão relevante para ti diante de terceiros assim... Da tua vida já teria saído de vez.

Se eu soubesse que esse teu amor por mim em realidade era apenas putativo, vindo a se tornar tão apenas tépido, com certeza a muito tempo eu já não estaria mais diante de ti.

Se eu pudesse lhe definir hoje oque se tornou agora para mim, após tantas vezes traumas e dores que eu me dispus a engolir, ciente de que as mesmas seriam apenas pautadas como infantilidade de minha parte, sem fundamento ou veracidade.

Se tivesses discernimento do quanto sangrei diante tuas incongruências, de quantas vezes quebrastes minha confiança e confidencia, calada? Sim! Mas visando mais maturidade e eloquência.

Quando te tornastes tão sofomaníaco? Embora eu também me culpe pelos meus atos falhos, que diferente de ti quando um pedido de desculpas era empregado não despia-se da totalidade da culpa e dos fatos?

Quisera eu logo ter o discernimento de tuas palavras e promessas inundadas em falaciloquência, quisera eu prever tudo isso antes de chegar no final desta trilha denominada "sofrência".

No mais, sou grata pelas lições, lições essas que agora aplicarei, lições essas que fundamentos e regras dentro de mim categorizei, obrigada por tamanho calejamento.

Aproveitastes bem? De meu corpo nu? Carícias e enaltecimentos? Da sincronia de nossos ápices entre aqueles atos carnais? Tirastes bastante proveito?

Por aqui então me despeço, deixando-lhe com a totalidade de tuas escolhas futuras.

Amor putativo não merece ternura.

Your feigned love.

And before you, I harbored a certain pistanthrophobia in my heart, already shattered and torn, along with the certainty and reasoning that long held my faith and feelings hostage, even from well-meaning people.

Then, I found myself unwavering in front of you, taken, so convinced by your touches and comforting words, with your tenderness taming my reason like a wild beast, now tamed and domesticated.

I stood firm in believing that the ephemeral would never cross my path again, that day I now called "ours."

Cursed be this naive "me" of mine… almost phlegmatic… Ah, foolish! Idiotic! Ignorant!

If only I had known about this contradictory side of yours, between your reason and my emotions… between your goals without an ounce of solidity and my pleas for attention, if I had known I’d become so irrelevant to you before others… I would have left your life for good.

If I had known that this love of yours for me was only feigned, growing lukewarm over time, surely I would have stopped standing before you long ago.

If I could describe what you've become to me now, after swallowing so many traumas and pains, knowing that they would just be brushed off as childish or unfounded.

If you understood how much I bled over your inconsistencies, how many times you broke my trust and confidence, silently… Yes! But hoping for maturity and eloquence.

When did you become so self-absorbed? Though I also blame myself for my flawed actions, which, unlike you, whenever an apology was given, didn’t strip away the fullness of blame and facts?

I wish I had seen through the sophistry of your words and promises, wish I had foreseen it all before reaching the end of this path called "heartbreak."

All in all, I am grateful for the lessons—those I will now apply, those that have formed foundations and rules within me. Thank you for the hardening.

Did you enjoy it? My bare body? The caresses and praises? The synchronization of our peaks in those carnal acts? Did you take full advantage?

And here, I bid you farewell, leaving you to your future choices in their entirety.

A feigned love doesn’t deserve tenderness.

- Nyxx Frump.

[chin-up-love]

From Phlegmatic to Amorousness

Chapter Two

Paring Bucky x Reader (eventually), Platonic! Steve x Reader, hints of Steve x Nat

Word Count: 1,781

Warnings: Angst, Cheekiness, Panic Attack

*This is not my GIF and all credit goes to the original owners. I don’t own any of these characters, but it would be so cool if I did.*

It was three A.M. when you woke up. You were covered in sweat from head to toe. Although you don’t remember your dream it still left you with a uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Knowing that there is no way you’re going to fall back asleep you decide to head down to the gym. At the very least you might tire yourself out enough to go back to bed for a few more hours of much needed rest.

Shedding your blanks you get dressed appropriately for the gym. Once ready you being the short walk to the gym. Along the way you made stops in front of your teammates doors to listen in and make sure they were okay.

When you stopped in front of Natasha’s room you heard two people in deep sleep.There was no need to check Steve’s room. You knew he was safe.

Once you made it to the gym you started on the lateral pull-down machine. After three sets you heard footsteps slowly approaching the gym. You waited to see who it was in great anticipation.

As Bucky rounded the corner into the gym you made your way towards him. He seemed surprised to see anyone else in here at such an odd hour.

“Hey Bucky.” You softly smile at him. As you take in his appearance you could feel a light blush dust your cheeks because of his attire. He was wearing a tight white tank top and sweats hanging low on his hips.

“Uh hey. Um your name is (Y/N) right?” He looked embarrassed about asking.

“That’s me. I’m sure you met a lot of people today. I’m surprised you even remembered.” His expression contorted into a confused look.

“Of course I remembered.” His cheeks returned a light blush as the possible weight behind his words registered. He rubbed the back of his neck and you smiled a little bit at the nervous tick.

“I’m going to get back to working out. Could you spot me?”

“Uh sure. I would like that.” His face cringed at how that might sound. A light chuckle passed your lips for the first time in a while. It must of been contagious because he returned the small laugh.

By the time the two of you finished working out the sun had come up and some of your teammates had made there way down to the gym. You started to feel waves of anxiety wash over you as more and more people entered.

You could feel all the symptoms of a panic attack coming on. Your heart was racing and your fingertips began to feel numb.So with a brief smile and thank you thrown vaguely in Bucky’s direction you exited the gym quickly.

You brushed passed Steve on your way back to your room. You could only spare him a small smile because the small waves of anxiety was turning into a tidal wave. You barely made it to your room before you began hyperventilating. Flashes of gruesome images fired into your vision. Blood and carnage took over and you could barely clamour to your bed before you felt yourself being pulled into darkness.

When you finally woke up Steve was sat in a chair by your bed with his head in his hands. Your episodes were nothing new but this one was more severe than any before. You shifted onto your side looking at him. He slowly withdrew his hands from his head and you could see the strain you were causing him.

His eyes were tired and dull. I’m slowly making him wither away.

“Hey kid. How’re you feeling?” You merely shrugged in response and rolled over to face the wall. You traced your fingers softly over the wall and drank in its texture as a way to ground yourself. “I think you're getting worse. Your panic attack episodes are becoming more and more frequent. Maybe we should talk to someone about getting you some support.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “We’ve talked about this. I’m fine. The more and more you force me to talk about it I think ‘Maybe’ I should just retire. Hell ‘Maybe’ I should just..” You released a loud sigh stopping yourself before you said something you would regret.

“I know you don’t like talking about it but it could be good for you. I only push you because I care.”

You roll back over and sit up. You move so you are sitting right in front of him. You throw your hands up in an exasperated manner.

“You’re treating me like a child! If I need help I’ll get help. I don’t need you baby-ing me all the time.”

Steve scoffed and abruptly stood up. As his chair slammed to the ground he raised his voice.

“Maybe I wouldn’t need to treat you like a child if you could do things for yourself!” As the words left his mouth it felt like a knife was stabbed into your chest. His face turned into one of shock. It was as if he could see the blade being pushed in and he knew it was too late.

“(Y/n)-” You got off bed and walked towards your door.

“Listen Steve. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, truly I do, but I think it’s best if I handle this myself from now on.”

He stood up and made his way towards you quickly. The look on his face made you almost falter in your decision. “Don’t do this doll. Don’t shut me out.”

Tears began to well up in your eyes but you willed them away the best you could. Steve had no such luck. His beautiful face held so much pain and was painted with tears. You looked down in shame.

“Goodbye Stevie.” You softly pushed him out the door and he lost all strength to fight back. You watched as Steve’s face slowly disappeared behind your door. Once closed you locked it and made your way to your shower.

You must of sat under the hot water for an hour. At times you wailed out as your pain became too much to contain. At other times you stared blankly at the wall. No thoughts were surfacing. You felt blank and lost.

Eventually you exited the shower and laid in bed. “Jarvis. Could you make sure no one comes in my room without my permission?”

“Of course Ma’am. What should I list as the reason for this request?”

“I’m not feeling well and I need to have some quiet time to make a decision about my future here.”

“Okay. Request accepted.”

You whispered a quiet thank you before you got ready for bed. Should you retire? You haven’t been let out on missions in a long time due to your mental stability. It’s not like you would be missed. You have already severed your last ties with your team. You’re just a waste of space.

Coming to a clear decision you decide to begin packing up your belongings. Seeing as you don’t own much it only took you two hours. By 3 A.M. you were bringing the last of your things down to your car. You’d been lucky and hadn’t ran into anyone.

You decided to take one last look around before heading out. You’d been through the gym and the kitchen. Making your way around the corner into the living room you collide with a solid figure. Dread washed over your body and you hoped it wasn’t Steve.

To your luck it was actually Bucky. You let out a sigh of relief.

He smiled softly. “Looks like we both can’t get any sleep.”

You smiled back at him. “We should really stop meeting like this. If we're not careful people might start talking.” You winked at him to show your teasing him. Then you remembered you were leaving and all amusement left your face.

“Hey. You okay?” You let out a humorless laugh. You really are bad at acting in front of him. Thinking about how you wanted to respond an idea popped into your head. It was risky but you decided to ask.

“I know we just met but could you do me a humongous favor?” He looked slightly uncomfortable but nodded to say yes. “I’m getting outta town for a little while. I need to take time to take care of some stuff. Could I text you and meet up with you from time to time to check in on everyone? I don’t want anyone knowing about it. Not even Steve. Can you do that?”

“It’s sounds like this is a permanent thing.(Y/N), why don’t you want anyone to know?”

“It’s just easier this way. Tell them I went on a private mission. I’ll tell Tony when it isn’t an ungodly hour and he will take care of me.”

He seemed to contemplate helping you. You began to get nervous because people would start getting up soon. You needed to be gone before then.

“Okay. I’ll help you out, but only if you talk to me about why. I thought this was your home. These people are your friends. Why do you want to leave all this behind?”

You wrap your arms around your waist and began to rock back and forth on your feet. It had been a bad habit of yours whenever you felt nervous. You really didn’t want Bucky to see how fucked up you were. You knew he had enough issues of his own but you had no choice but to answer him.

“I need sometime to heal myself. Around here I constantly feel like I’m putting up a mask and I’m just so tired. I need to leave and get help. Sometimes it’s easier for a stranger to help you rather than people who already have expectations of who you are supposed to be.”

When you finally met Bucky’s eyes you didn’t see pity. You saw a man who understood how it felt to need some time.

“I understand (Y/N). I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

“Thank you Bucky. I know this is going to be hard lying to Steve. I could never thank you enough. Can I have your number so I can check in?” You handed him your phone and he put in all his information. “Thanks. I’ll text you when I get settled down okay?”

“I’ll hold you too that doll.” You blushed madly at the endearment and waved goodbye. Heading out to your car you took one last dramatic look back at the compound.

“Goodbye guys.”

With that you drove off knowing where you had to go next.

I hope everyone enjoyed! I know it was a bit long but I hope it was worth it.

Tag list:

@utterlyhopeful @sushidoesntneedtoknow @kaylzzz8 @i-had-a-life-once @i-am-coral-grimes @polarbearnamedpanda @boyzines @this-kitty-has-claws @theonlyonelives @myrabbitholetoneverland

[fictionadventurer]

Literary World Tour: Weeks 2 through, like, 4?

I've had a lot less time to read, between life getting busy and me spending more of what free time I have writing, but I feel like I should talk about the few books I've read with this project.

Salt to the Sea by Ruth Sepetys (Germany): I actually already had this one on audiobook from the library (since I'd loved Between Shades of Gray), and had been considering returning it to focus on the world tour, because the ocean isn't any country. Then someone recommended it as taking place in Prussia, so I counted it toward the project. Fascinating look at WWII from an angle it's rarely covered from in American literature. I loved how it managed to convey that these people in this mostly-forgotten disaster all matter, even if it didn't end well for most of them. The four first-person narrators was weird, and I had trouble sinking into the narrative because of it. The readers were excellent, but having the stylized prose spoken aloud does make some passages sound more stilted. From what I saw in reviews, I think the audiobook may have made the German soldier seem more nuanced--everyone was talking about how over-the-top evil he was, but the narrator gave him a Mr. Collins type of pathetic-ness that made him seem ridiculous, so the evil-ness kind of emerged as chilling underlayers. Not nearly as good as Between Shades of Gray, but still very glad to have read it.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (Russia): I don't intend to talk about books I don't finish, but I loved this one so, so much before I abandoned it (at 60%) that I'll make an exception. What a delight of a book. Would have been one of my all-time favorites if content (I get picky about sexual content and the Lord's name in vain) hadn't forced me to abandon it. Count Alexander Rostov is a Russian version of Peter Wimsey and I (mostly) loved him. The sanguine-phlegmatic cultured gentleman both trapped in horrific circumstances while living in relative sheltered luxury. (I want to know what idiot of a cover designer was responsible for making him look like the most boring man in the world). Loved the hotel setting, loved all his friends, loved the conversations about the shifting world and what makes a gentleman, loved the child characters. Pity that I couldn't finish it.

Homeless Bird by Gloria Whelan (India): Middle-grade book about a thirteen-year-old girl left a widow after her husband's death a couple of weeks into their marriage. Read this in one sitting. It felt rather underwritten--huge scenes were glossed over in a sentence or two, telling us most things rather than showing us anything. But it was still a fascinating story about a very different culture, and I've explained the plot to at least two different people since reading it because I found it so interesting.

Norah of Billabong by Mary Grant Bruce (Australia): Third book in the series that starts with The Little Bush Maid; already had it on my Kindle. I have such a strange relationship to these books. The setting (early 1900s Outback Australia) is so interesting, and the characters are likable overall, but the story can be so boring, until it has a few absolutely thrilling chapters that get me just engaged enough to contemplate continuing the series.

There is a shocking lack of tension in this story. Things go wrong, but they wind up just turning out alright with little action from anybody, or the characters just kind of shrug and move on and you don't get the sense that anyone's emotionally affected by anything. I think part of it is a massive overuse of passive voice. And then the characters! I like them, but it's sickening to read about how the Lintons are the absolute ideal at outback life and always good at everything and everyone loves them. My favorite characters were Brownie and Jean because they weren't good at everything; they had insecurities or flaws. Jean especially was satisfying to follow, because she wasn't sure how well she'd do at this life, so her accomplishments felt meaningful.

(I'm not usually one to get too worked up over outdated ideas in classic fiction, but oh my goodness, if anyone tries to say that Little House on the Prairie is racist, they have clearly not read these books. Little House may have some racist characters, but it has the general worldview that the Native Americans have a valid culture and what happened to them was sad (or at least acknowledges that there are multiple views of them). Here, any mention of any brown person, but especially the Aborigines, is ruthless in telling us that they're primitive, dirty, lazy thieves, and while it's an accurate depiction of a settler's POV back then, it was kind of brutal to read.)

But anyway, the chapters with the fire were great, and it was interesting to learn about this time period, and there was just a shade of compassion shown toward the Aborigines at the end, so it's just possible I may cave and read something else in the series, but I'm not sure it'll be worth it.

[titleleaf]

Mr. Etheridge was a man of some forty years of age, of singularly handsome appearance, and bore evident traces of the Italian blood which flowed in his veins. He had the appearance of a man having strong amorous passions, but his manners were as gentle as those of a woman, and he was universally popular throughout the whole county.

His wife was a woman of unusual beauty. Descended from an old Spanish family, she had married when but sixteen years of age; Mr. Etheridge having met her at the house of some friends, and as they mutually fell in love with each other, their united entreaties overcame the objection raised on account of her youth, and in fact the warm blood that flowed in her veins had ripened her beauty to an extent almost unusual in those of more phlegmatic races.

She was now in her thirty-fifth year, and in the full zenith of her charms. An exquisitely shaped head graced a neck and shoulders white as alabaster, large liquid eyes, and long drooping lashes, a nose of perfect form, and two ruby pouting lips that seemed made to be kissed.

Her form was magnificent, of commanding height, widely spreading hips, and a bosom of massive proportions, the firmness of which rendered stays entirely unnecessary; a fact that was evident on watching the rise and fall of those two lovely globes, their form being perfectly defined even to the nipples, beneath her well-fitting dress.

Her glance was electric, and it was impossible to meet her look unmoved, she exhaled an atmosphere of voluptuousness of the most maddening force.

I went back to reading 19th century porn, as is my wont, and honestly all other genres of personal description can fuck off

[miojolovetodo]

Reincarnation AU

BASICS

Name:  Eloi Shou Aikyo

Name Meaning: Eloi: (The Chosen), Shou: (Soar), Aikyo: (Love/Respect)

Alias/Nickname:

Age: 7-17

Date of Birth: December 4, 4PM

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Bloodtype: O

Gender: Male

Sexual Preference: Greysexual

Species/Race: Human

Occupation:

Alignment: Neutral

Languages Spoken: English, Spanish, Japanese

Current Relationship Status: Unknown

Pet: Rat Terrier named Chestnut

APPEARANCE

Height: 5′6″

Weight:  111

Body Type: Thin, Defined

Eye Color: Emerald Green

Hair Color and Style: Black, short and choppy

Distinguishing Marks (tattoos, scars, etc): Slitted pupils, Large iris’, birth marks forming the shape of the number four on his left shoulder next to a patch of discolored skin that slits across his heart.

Birth Defects: Partially deaf/ blind.

Clean Shaven, Stubble, Rugged: Clean Shaven

Usual Clothing Style: Grunge, Emo/Goth, Baggy or sleek and clean,

Wearing Currently:  a baggy grey hoodie, somewhat tight deep blue t-shirt, tight fitting black jeans, green themed sneakers.

PERSONALITY

Hobbies:

Personality: Relaxed, Intuitive, Strong, Thorough, Neat, Orderly, Contemplative, Fair, Tolerant, Meticulous, Insightful, Private, Strict, Impassive, Unaggressive, Stubborn, Quiet, Unambitious, Invisible, Surprising, Undemanding, Casual, Self centered, Unemotional, Pedantic, Insulting, Inconsiderate, Cruel, Dull, Regimental, Misguided, Condemnatory, Amoral  

Quirks/Habits:  

Illness/Allergies: Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Low Empathy, PTSD

Outlook: -

Likes:  

Dislikes: -

Usual Demeanor:  Usually mellow and laid back, almost to the point of apathetic, indifferent and emotionless.

Quick to Anger or Difficult to Anger:  Difficult to anger.

Easily Approachable or Not So Much: Not particularly. Most people imagine that he doesn’t like them because of his demeanor to begin with. Whether he does or not, he let’s things happen as they happen.

Introvert or Extrovert:  Introvert

PAST

Describe your characters History/Background:

After Ulquiorra is reborn, he is reborn into a moderately well off family. He however spends most of his life not getting the love an affection a child would need to adjust as normally to the world. His mother and father spent much of their time at work and would often tend to their son, Shou’s needs by buying him things or hiring help to take care of him.  Growing up this way has made him a little more than just a bit narcissistic. Though he is often quiet and contemplative more than outwardly concerned with the others around him directly. Even as a small child this had made many children find him to be strange. However this did not prevent Shou from finding friends, of course.

As a high school student Shou attends school at Karakura, which is quite a bit away from where he was born. His parents having moved there residents there when he had turned twelve. After moving there Shou found it a bit harder to make friends with most of the students who had already known each other for some time. Over the next few years Shou grew more into himself and embraced his more narcissistic tendencies. It often tends to show him as being an asshole to most people, and in most peoples opinions. (Work In Progress)

Hometown:  Unknown, Spain

Childhood trauma: Watched a child that was his age die by Hollow attack when they were only the first years of grade school. This happening on a school day in the middle of recess.

Parents/Siblings:  Unknown

How events shaped their outlook on life: After the incident that happened in his childhood most students from that year were for the most part traumatized by what they had seen. Eloi’s reaction and little empathy had made him stand out and easy imagined as a ‘freak’ to the rest of his peers however.

MISCELLANEOUS

Do  they know their heritage well? If so, does it resonate with their personality? (Ex. A viking having a brash and impulsive, violent personality):  Not very well at all really.

Powers:  Void [ This ability is one he developed entirely independent of his former life, but rather that of his new one., Ulquiorra’s Powers [Powers he will regain in time/Once he awakens his past life.]

Weapons:  Murcielago in the form of a Nodachi

MBTI:  ISTJ-A

Enneagram: 1w9, The Reformer, The Peacemaker

Element: Earth/Darkness

Temperament: Phlegmatic-Choleric

Aptitude:  Candor or Erudite

District:  4

Harry Potter: Slytherin, Wampus, Black Mamba

Talents:  

Social Standing:  Moderately Average Wealth

Verses In This AU

[akemiozawa]

Twisted OC Profile

Here it is! The full (and polished) profile for my TW OC! Shout out to @by-inky for an amazing job at Trinity’s half-body drawing and coloring!

————————————————————

PROFILE

Basics

Name: Trinity Beatrix Homura

Katakana: トリニティ•ビアトリクス•ほむら

Nicknames: Trina/Tris - by most of the student body

Demented Woman - Silver

She-Devil: Riddle, Leona, Sebek

Puzzle Master

Ms. Blackmail

Etymology:

Trinity: of a triad, three things being connected

Beatrix: The Blessed One

Homura: Fire/Blaze

Homeworld: San Fransokyo / Twisted Wonderland

Family: Cordelia Josephine (mother)

Enishi Kuroke (father)

Pronouns: She/Her

Birthday: November 7

Zodiac: Scorpio

Physical

Age: 19

Height: 5’5.5’’

Weight: 135 lbs.

B/W/H: 39 in/ 29 in/ 33 in

Chest: 34C

Blood type: AB Positive

Ethnicity: Asian-European

Sexuality: Straight

Race: Human

Persona

Twisted Counterpart of: Obake and Trina from Big Hero 6

Song themes:

One Woman Army - Porcelain Black

Don’t Call Me Angel - Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, Lana del Ray

Swan Song - Dua Lipa

Dorm: Ignihyde

Year: 2

Likes: Science, potential, success, blueberry muffins, cappuccinos and espressos, William Shakespeare, winning, collecting valuables, robotics, training and expanding her magic

Dislikes: Incompetence, failure, limitations/restrictions, losing

Fav. COLORS: Cardinal Red, Ruby, Raspberry Red, Sapphire, Midnight Blue, Baby Pink, Aqua Green and Royal Purple.

Hobbies: spying through her cameras, listening to music, collecting trinkets, aerial silk dancing, practicing singing, dancing or her magic, inventing gadgets.

Appearance: Trinity is of average height, with a slim yet buxom physique. She has fair skin, lower back-length brownish-black hair with dyed red highlights, piercing bright blue eyes, and noticeable cheekbones. Both her eyes occasionally produce a bright, neon purple glow, obtained from a lab accident, that stretches from her corneas to her temples in a wing-like pattern. She can apparently do this at will but is more notable whenever she shows strong emotions, such as excitement or anger, even when it’s not in darkness.

Personality: Trina has a polite, yet spunky and rebellious attitude. She addresses everyone she meets with grace (even her professors) and acts in a very self-assured manner. Her effective cunning is partly responsible for her arrogance; she purposefully demeans herself so that others will let their guard down around her; in turn, this allows Trina to come off as innocent in spite of her true personality.

She views both magic and technology together as freedom. Trina believes in free will, as she sees everyone as young mages who are underestimated by older figures, and acts on her own so as long as she obeys the rules. She partially shares her birth father’s amoral nature, but her individuality compels her to partake in battles or dorm events and gaining popularity. This goes against her dad’s orders even though she is “very loyal” to her father. She is also smart and manipulative as she is capable of making anyone believe her lies and deceits despite the fact that she causes them.

Trina also has an ominous aura about her, in part due to her fervent confidence. The soft-spoken woman carries herself in a half-phlegmatic manner, though behind this persona lies a cruel and unpredictable menace. Trinity is very meticulous and refuses to act on impulse. When faced with an obstacle, she will observe it from a distance, analyze the strengths and weaknesses of her hurdle, then use the information she's gathered to overcome it. This rigorous conduct allows Trinity to always be five steps ahead of her enemy. As a result of this, she fears nothing and no one. She does, however, hold some level of respect to those who can hold their own against her schemes, at least briefly. As is the case with the Great Seven, and more specifically, Malleus Draconia.

Apart from being an expert hacker, the lengths of Trina's powers are unknown. As such, she regularly aligns himself with other powerful beings to use their resources to achieve her goals. Trina is deeply feared by the student body and is intolerant of failure. Should ANYONE underestimate her skills and call her weak, She will quickly resort to obliterating them as punishment. Trust me when I say: dont fuck with this bitch. You try and challenge her, she’ll annihilate you like a scrap of useless metal.

However, She rarely has any true connections with people, despite Idia and Ortho, who acted like family to her after her father disowned her. But whatever true connections she has, she holds them to her heart like precious memories and won’t let them go. You’ll need to earn her trust in order to be on her good side. As long as you don’t double cross her, make her angry, or challenge her, you just might live to see another day!

Background: From birth, Trina is an extremely gifted scientist, but was never born with true magic abilities (at least not yet); her genius is primarily used to manipulate technology to do her bidding. She has surveillance on virtually every corner of Night Raven, allowing her to monitor and control parts of the college as she pleases. To assist in her schemes, Trina calls upon the assistance of the Chaos Trio, Vil, Ruggie, Azul and the Leech twins, or even Malleus himself.

Before NRC, she was once a star student of her magic tech school. Many teachers, especially Robert Callaghan, whom she idolized, noticed her genius and gave her her own laboratory. He also allowed her to use the lab even after hours. With this, Callaghan believed that without limits, Trina would make great accomplishments, but that eventually led her to work on a dangerous experiment that changed everything. One night, while Trinity was working on an energy amplifier, the machine went haywire and Callaghan saved her just before it exploded, mortally wounding him and landed him in the hospital. Shrapnel from the machine, however, flew and caught in Trina’s eyes, piercing them and possibly leaving her blind forever.

After awakening in the hospital, Trina makes a miraculous recovery, and her vision seems to be restored, despite the light scars across her eyelids. After the recovery, she believed she felt responsible for her teacher’s accident and dropped out. Even after Callaghan died, the guilt kept eating at Trina’s heart. Her parents learned of the tragedy and her father, believing the accident to be Trina’s doing, disowned her and kicked her out of the house, despite her mom’s desperate actions to keep her with them. However, it was around the time that not only she received an acceptance letter to Night Raven, and left around the time of the events, but a surprising reveal has yet to be made.

After moving into the Ignihyde dorm, she met Ortho and Idia, whom she began to bond with during her first year as well as various other students, when she was a nervous individual, at first. However, due to the connections she formed, Trina grew more confidence in herself when around her crew.

One day, while preparing for class, she stares at her reflection in the mirror and upon looking at her scars, the flashbacks to her unfortunate fate, anger growing until she planned to smash the bathroom mirror when she saw a discover: her eyes were glowing a vibrant purple, giving her appearance like that of an ethereal being. Deciding to find out about her discovery, using her brain, she mentally commands to morph the mirror into a spy camera as she gazes in on Idia and Ortho, to her shock. With the fact that she was across the other half of campus. Keeping this newly found information to herself, Trina began to train herself to grow strong mentally and powerfully to keep her abilities up, eventually enabling her to use actual magic within her body, later finding out it was due to the amplifier’s power being absorbed by her, she holds the ability to connect with every kind of technological equipment she comes in contact with (think Stephen King’s Carrie and her Telekinesis abilities).

Trina also acts as an organized thief, despite her teacher’s disapproval. By hacking into the systems through her phone, and using it to steal blackmail and gossip from other people, Trina orchestrates a crime wave that lets other students take the fall while she ends up unscathed; for Trina, it's a profession that's both lucrative and fun. She's also obtained other knick-knacks from dorms, which she keeps on a shelf in her room above her bed. Some people see Trina's hobby of "collecting trinkets" as a waste of time, but she could care less about their shitty opinions.

Trina has kept the connections in the school, is well informed about the events that occur in it, taking certain newbies under wing not long after her enrollment and constantly watches the news or the surveillance cameras. She can hack into most devices utilizing robots, chips or her mental powers in order to communicate with her associates.

Her previous ambitions grew greatly twisted by the belief that not only should geniuses shouldn’t be held back, but have the freedom to explore it to help civilization progress, in whatever way it had to come, and her desire to be recognized for it only fueled her mentality. While she still intends to make a name for herself and rise to the top, she didn't care if innocent people got hurt or even killed in the process as a small price to pay for her desires. She became an intimidating force who terrifies even the most Powerful of students: Riddle Rosehearts, Jamil Viper, Rook Hunt, Leona Kingscholar, Jack Howl, Silver and Lilia Vanrouge. She is described by Silver as a "demented woman". Despite her insane beliefs, she still acts calculating and patient.

She likes remaining obscure to the outside world and performs her attacks anonymously, but doesn’t remain 100% holed up unlike a certain blue flame-haired anxiety-filled dorm leader, and goes out to make social interaction a lot of the time.

Alignment: Lawful Evil

Strengths: Strengths: Quick thinker, intensely loyal, caring, unaffected by most things, helpful hand, has no fear whatsoever, defending her family

Flaws: Slightly Sadistic, is usually up to no good via her spy cams or other equipment, closed off so earning her trust is very vital to being her friend, overprotective of those that she believes can be robbed of their potential, too smart-mouthed, arrogant and deceitful.

Skills: Expert hacker, fast reflexes, superior agility, upper and lower body strength, thieving skills, conscious thinker.

Abilities:

Genius-level intellect: Trinity is a patient, calculating, technological genius with prowess towards machines and magic. She’s skilled in hacking, as she managed to hack into multiple systems and take control of them. Based on her dorm room, it seems She can also access the college's surveillance systems, and she learned about the Great 7 Leaders and their followers when observing them through nearby cameras.

Watch: Trinity wears a watch that also has a hologram map. She can record things she sees and project them as holograms. She is able to trace any incoming humans with it, either approaching her location or right outside her dorm room. She can also shoots three streams of purple lightning to shock three targets.

Small graphene knife: She owns a small graphene-bladed knife that she uses to take a slice of any substance.

Digital Imaging Lenses: Special contact lenses which makes augmented reality visions to appear for its user. Trinity implants them into anyone with them being unaware of it.

Scanner Glasses: Trinity owns a pair of glasses used to digitalize texts so she could read it from her own base or anywhere she has her phone, as well as scanning areas of the college trying to find where certain people are. The first glasses were accidentally broken by Ace, but she could either fix them or build another pair. Also grants her and others X-ray vision ( the ability to see through obstacles or in darkness).

Graphene shard: Has this in case of emergency in cutting locks.

Scan Jammer: Trina has a scan jammer which prevents magic sensors from tracking her when she sneaks out her dorm after hours.

Crab Robot: Another of her creations, it is a semi-sentient robot modeled after a real crab. It works underwater and allows Trinity to record everything around the Octavinelle dorm, as well as automatically uploading the feed to her computer.

Magic

Technical Magic: Her unfortunate accident left her with mental abilities to control tech and sound equipment via her mind. From anywhere and anyplace, Tris knows no bounds to her magic.

Technology Manipulation, Technological Magic, Electricity Attacks, Defense, Detection, Embodiment, Empowerment, Generation, Magic, Manipulation, Strike, Resistance, etc.

Unique Magic: Total Override

This UM allows Trinity to hack into a human mind and force the person into doing her dirty work, letting them take the fall while she gets off scot-free. It takes up some of her mental strength, but she pushes it further when she becomes a hive mind when controlling several people at once, making it just as dangerous as Jamil’s Snake Whisper.

Sayings: “I don't deny my methods are harsh, but winning tends to settle any arguments."

“People like us never really turn around, we just pretend to.”

“Tragedy has molded us. Intellect has driven us. Now we stand at the doorway to greatness!”

Relationships:(canon)

Heartslabyul

Riddle: Honestly, His Royal Midgetness can go land in a pit of spikes for all I care. He doesn’t scare me. Never has, never will. Plus, I’ve got a scream that five times bigger than his will ever be. I just don’t see a need to use it...unless the time calls for it.

Ace: biggest Idiot I’ve EVER met.

Deuce: He’s okay. He’s just gotta get rid of that clumsy side of him. Not really appealing when your around other people. Someone could take advantage of it...

Trey: For someone who can tolerate Leader Shortstack 24/7, he must have high tolerance .... kinda like me under stress. Total honest respect!

Cater: he’s alright. Just hate it when he puts the camera in front of my face.

Octavinelle

Azul: Classy guy, but he’ll have to try harder to get yours truly into signing a contract.

Jade: I rarely converse with him, but I find him the more reasonable out of the trio.

Floyd: Believe me when I say this: he tried to swipe my history notes from me one time, and I sucker-punched him once I found out. Now, it’s escalated to the point where he’s tryna catch me off guard and get revenge. But that slick son of a bitch...he’s got no idea who he’s dealing with.

Scarabia

Kalim: Oblivious POS.

Jamil: hate him. HATE. HIM.

Pomefiore

Vil: i guess we’re kind of like siblings.

Epel: CUTE. Yeah, if he hears that, I don’t care.

Rook: Meh. But I swear to god, if he tries to put an arrow through my head...

Ignihyde

Idia: Onii-saaaaan! I care for him, anxiety and all!

Ortho: Baby boi! Also love him too! Sometimes I watch over him if Idia’s busy, not that I mind.

Savanaclaw

Leona: Arrogant Asshat. Pretty sure he fears me, but is too damn cocky to admit it to my face

Jack: Dudes strong, I’ll give him that. But he tries to fight me, I’ll make him wish he was already dead!

Ruggie: He’s the only one I can tolerate out of EVERYONE in Savanaclaw. Sometimes, I let him help me with my *ahem* “work”.

Diasomnia

Malleus: *lightly blushes* Again, I rarely talk with him, but when I do, I put heart into our talks. Unlike most who fear him, I can sense he needs someone who wants to see him not as a superior, but as a normal being...

Lilia: I seriously don’t get why everyone in the damn school fears him. Or maybe it’s just his wrath. Either way, I actually find it kinda funny how they all quiver in fear at his anger. And I’m just standing in the back, “looking” at their reactions.

Silver: Dude seriously needs to get a sleep schedule going. If he passes out in the middle of the hallway, someone could take advantage of him *grins maliciously*

Sebek: For someone who’s boy-crazy over Malleus, I’m surprised the latter’s never gotten a headache from the dude being so “spontaneous” all the damn time.

Faculty

Divus: I swear, is there NOT a day he can go without that damn fur coat? But at least he’s giving me a break with classwork thanks to Vil!

Mozus: Reminds me of my grandma... if she were a wrinkly, stern and strict doosh with a foot up her ass and a knack for cat cradling 24/7.

Ashton: A much less annoying version of Leona and maybe Vil.

Sam: He’s okay. He always recognizes me as “Technical Trina” whenever I need parts for my work. Or if Idia’s scared shitless to go get things himself.

Crowley: Sensei! Always respectful of him! I mean, he did accept me into Night Raven for a reason!

Extras

Most of the first years see her as some sort of guardian angel. She’s known to be protective of the bonds she holds with newcomers and upper class men alike. She can relate with the first years and doesn’t want them to end up like her, a headstrong student who is told what she can and can’t do; she doesn’t hesitate to crush anyone who messes with her family.

The reason she has red highlights is because red is her father’s most hated color. He despises anything that’s red. After being accepted, Trina got her highlights like that in order to show her father her newfound independence (or more as a big middle finger to him and all his restrictions).

She constantly loves to pull pranks when with Ace, Lilia and Kalim. She sees them as triplet brothers that she never had.

Believe it or not, but Trina has a beautiful singing voice. She hasn’t taken many vocal lessons, but has read plenty of music books while she’s not busy snooping through cameras. She loves to sing for Idia, to help soothe his anxieties, and for Ortho, when he needs some comfort.

I mentioned in her profile that the Shroud brothers were the only family Tris had when she first joined NightRaven. They’re extremely protective of her, and will gladly help her out of any situation. Ortho doesn’t want his “nee-san” hurt and Idia is willing to leave the safety of his room to defend Tris from threats.

Trinity and Vil actually have a better friendship than she’s willing to let on. It started when Tris began flunking Potions, so upon Crewel’s suggestion, she was to be tutored by Vil until the next in-class exams. At first, Tris wanted nothing to do with the Pomefiore Leader, but over time, she looked past his appearances and gradually opened up more. Vil teaches her what she’s been missing and in exchange, she lets him beautify her. Bonus: they always get together on Thursday nights to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Trina and Lilia often hold conversation in Japanese tongue. Malleus keeps looking at them from across the room as if they each grew separate heads.

During Potions Class, Trinity likes to peek in Vil’s book whenever he’s busy. She copies down some of her favorite spells in her phone and practiced them for later.

Tris, probably won’t admit it, loves and is attracted to shiny and sparkly jewels and jewelry, as part of her usual collection. Vil often wonders what happens to his favorite pieces every week.

She secretly practices aerial silk dancing on her weekend time. The only ones who know this and have witnessed her skills are Epel, Ortho, Trey, Deuce, Silver and Lilia.

Her fav bands are a mix of J-rock, k-pop, and American rock. Some include: Three Days Grace, Fall Out Boy, Panic! @ the Disco, My Chemical Romance, EXO, SID, and Monsta X.

Links:

https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/189634481495/more-drawings

https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/189634503110/more-drawings-pt-2

https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/189634512330/drawings-pt-3

Singing voice: https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/190246876650/this-is-trinas-singing-voice-since-she-sings

Secondary form: https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/189985950695/an-angel-of-the-battlefield

RP

Chaos Trio x Trina p. 1: https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/190043754305/chaos-trio-x-trinity-pt-1

Sol and Trinity pt. 1: https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/189799408595/the-hacker-and-the-pirate-rp-pt1

Pt. 2: https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/189886464005/an-adventure-awakens-rp-pt2

Pt. 3: https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/190115960155/into-troubled-waters-rp-pt-3

Vintarella’s thoughts: https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/190235468985

Lunchtime Shenanigans w/ Blue: https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/189947213930/lunchtime-shenanigans

Fan drawings

https://akemiozawa.tumblr.com/post/190416191045

————————————————————

Thanks for reading this! PLZ SEND QUESTION OR WRITING REQUESTS TO MY INBOX IF YOU WANNA GET TO KNOW TRINA OR ME!

[dqbello]

sweet, gentle, and oh so unfortunate...

(a character analysis)

basic information

FULL NAME: delilah laila bello née qureshi PRONUNCIATION: DUH-lie-la bell-O MEANING: Delilah - amorous, delight, languishing ; Laila - dark haired beauty REASONING: laila - majnu , a tragic tale of love and yet her mother’s favorite story. her father is more practical, suggesting delilah for the birth certificate. and so laila becomes their darling, delicate daughter at home, while the rest of the world meets delilah first.  NICKNAME(S): desdemona, laila, lilah PREFERRED NAME(S): delilah, desdemona BIRTH DATE: july 10th AGE: 30 ZODIAC: cancer GENDER: female PRONOUNS: she/her/hers ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: heteroromantic (she never considered anything else) SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual (though she doesn’t count what’s happened under the influence & would call herself straight if asked) NATIONALITY: italian ETHNICITY: indian CURRENT LOCATION: verona, italy LIVING CONDITIONS: stable and comfortable, though not as cozy as it used to be TITLE(S): capulet soldier

background

BIRTH PLACE: venice, italy HOMETOWN: verona, italy though she was local to various cities for schooling SOCIAL CLASS: born to mid-lower middle class family, she married into about the same level when marrying a cop. however being a part of the capulets brings her into contact with much higher class people on a regular basis -- it’s hard to tell if her class plays a role in how poorly she fits in the mob. EDUCATION LEVEL: b.sc. in politics and international relations from the london school of economics and political science & m.a. in business criminal law from luiss school of law. though from how little she mentions it, it’s difficult to believe she’s so close to being a lawyer. FATHER: jaaved qureshi MOTHER: monal qureshi née arora SIBLING(S): n/a BIRTH ORDER: n/a CHILDREN: n/a PET(S): n/a OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: paternal grandmother -- shabeena qureshi née farooqi PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: ex-husband -- odin bello ARRESTS?: n/a PRISON TIME?: n/a

occupation & income

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: legal assistant for studio legale biondaro SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: online contributor for the local newspaper TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: capulet soldier APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: appx.  € 40,000 / year CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: she was so close to becoming a lawyer -- all she needed was to pass the national bar exam and then the local one. but then she got married. at the time, it had been her parents who had discouraged the marriage and told her to focus on her career. at the time, it had been her who chose not to pursue law further because she was happy and married and with odin gone all day, who would take care of their home. besides, the precedent of leaving careers for family had been set for her by the generations of women in her family before her. (her grandmother worked in her father’s tailor shop before marriage and her mother had been a dance teacher.) but now that everything has ended the way it has, she’s not sure what to do.  PAST JOB(S): grocery store clerk, university library assistant, a few internships at law firms SPENDING HABITS: her father owned a small grocery store in venice, one of the few where one could find indian and middle-eastern spices, fruits, vegetables, henna, etc. as such she learned to be sensible and thrifty about money. she’s excellent at creating and following a budget. it’s why she took time off between degrees to live at home and save money for her m.a. private universities are expensive after all, and her family couldn’t afford it otherwise. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: a delicate gold chain and flower shaped pendant -- it’s an heirloom passed down from mother to daughter. her wedding ring hangs upon that chain as well.

skills & abilities

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: 4/10 OFFENSE: 3/10 DEFENSE: 7/10 SPEED: 6/10 INTELLIGENCE: 9/10 ACCURACY: 7/10 AGILITY: 8/10 STAMINA: 6/10 TEAMWORK: 9/10 TALENTS: intelligent, flexible, adaptable, follower SHORTCOMINGS: too caring, non-violent, physically weak, indecisive LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: hindi, italian, english (accented), urdu (understands but can’t speak) DRIVE?: yes JUMP-STAR A CAR?: yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes SWIM?: yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: no PLAY CHESS?: yes BRAID HAIR?: yes TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: she’s supposed to be learning, but she struggles

physical appearance & characteristics

FACE CLAIM: deepika padukone EYE COLOR: dark brown HAIR COLOR: dark brown/black HAIR TYPE/STYLE: long, wavy, not prone to frizziness GLASSES/CONTACTS?: prefers to contacts but wears glasses when needed DOMINANT HAND: right HEIGHT: 5′9″ WEIGHT: 60 kg BUILD: slim/lean EXERCISE HABITS: all through school she used to dance; she didn’t really get back into exercise until after marriage -- now that she’s a capulet she finds herself engaging in cardio + kickboxing 3x a week. SKIN TONE: by indian standards, her olive skin is considered relatively fair. in europe, she’d be called dusky. TATTOOS: a small outline of a lotus on her left ankle PEIRCINGS: two in each ear lobe (she usually wears studs in one and something more fancy in the other) and a nose piercing that has closed up since marriage. MARKS/SCARS: a birthmark on the sole of her right foot -- according to her grandmother, it indicated that she would travel often NOTABLE FEATURES: she was known for being a beauty among the venetian locals -- her dimpled smile was alluded to in particular. USUAL EXPRESSION: tender, though lately she seems almost constantly on the verge of tears CLOTHING STYLE: business professional at work, athleisure/cozy at home. JEWELRY: tiny, gold studs in her ears, a gold chain. she does tend to wear a watch to work. ALLERGIES: n/a. BODY TEMPERATURE: normal DIET: mostly healthy -- she cooks her own meals most of the time (a mix of indian and italian) but will occasionally go out. she’s got a sweet tooth though she doesn’t usually indulge it, except for the sugar in her daily evening chai. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: n/a

psychology

JUNG TYPE: ISFJ JUNG SUBTYPE: n/a ENNEAGRAM TYPE: type 6 -- the loyalist MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful good TEMPERAMENT: phlegmatic ELEMENT: water PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: linguistic APPROXIMATE IQ: 125 MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: n/a SOCIABILITY: introvert EMOTIONAL STABILITY: stable, but vulnerable OBSESSION(S): literature, with a weakness for romance novels (good and bad) COMPULSION(S):  PHOBIA(S): none that she knows of yet ADDICTION(S): n/a DRUG USE: she tried weed once ALCOHOL USE: she drinks like an italian -- she prefers wines over hard liquor and will drink with a meal a few times a week PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: no

mannerisms

SPEECH STYLE: easy to understand, simple but descriptive ACCENT: her italian and hindi are unaccented, but her english has some kind of accent though it’s hard to figure out exactly what kind QUIRKS: she is not a fan of computers in general. if there’s an ‘e-’ version of something, she probably doesn’t like it (aka books > e books, notebooks > e notebooks, letters > emails, etc.) HOBBIES: reading, writing, dancing, bullet journaling HABITS: a cup of chai after work, reading before bed, journaling with her morning espresso NERVOUS TICKS: hand wringing, finger tapping, too wide smiles DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: love, truth, loyalty, justice, mercy FEARS: irrelevance, dying alone POSITIVE TRAITS: loving, loyal, honest, sweet, kind NEGATIVE TRAITS: indecisive, lack of self-worth, too gentle, non-confrontational SENSE OF HUMOR: she likes kind humor, self-deprecation, wittiness  DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: almost never. CATCHPHRASE(S): n/a

favorites

ACTIVITY: reading ANIMAL: ocelot BEVERAGE: chai BOOK: pride and prejudice  CELEBRITY: madhubala (old bollywood actress) COLOR:  orange (like marigolds and mangoes) DESIGNER: sabyasaachi FOOD: chicken malai kabob FLOWER: marigolds GEM: yellow topaz HOLIDAY: diwali MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: scooter MOVIE: mughal-e-azaam (old bollywood film) MUSICAL ARTIST: hozier QUOTE/SAYING: “no legacy is so rich as honesty.” SCENERY: rajasthani deserts SCENT: exotic and fruity SPORT: tennis SPORTS TEAM: indian national cricket team  TELEVISION SHOW: suits (it’s trashy, she knows, but it’s so perfectly escapist) WEATHER: warm and sunny VACATION DESTINATION: spain, greece, egypt

attitudes

GREATEST DREAM: becoming a judge GREATEST FEAR: dying alone MOST AT EASE WHEN: reading before bed LEAST AT EASE WHEN: doing anything mob related WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: losing everyone she loves BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: her acceptance into lse BIGGEST REGRET: believing she’d already reached her happy ending MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: hearing the rumors about her before odin confronted her BIGGEST SECRET: she’s signed the divorce papers but she hasn’t returned them yet. TOP PRIORITIES: proving her innocence to odin and the rest of the capulets

[grimoiresontape]

Collyries: Cosmetics and Magical Gazing

This is a blog post about 'collyries', which I don't feel terribly bad about referring to as early modern magical cosmetics. I have frequent misgivings when Cool-Trying Historians attempt to excite interest in their topic by drawing clunky comparisons to some modern phenomenon ("hey fellow kids did you know books were, like, the iPads of medieval monastries?!") but, the thing is, these sorcerous 'confections' are fully designed to adorn the visage and literally empower and amplify the magic which comes out of faces. Gazing. Ensorcelling words. Enchanting breath. The evil eye. The look of love.

"Magical make-up" seems especially fair when we consider the mythic origins of cosmetics. In the Apocryphal Enochic materials, a particular fallen angel of the Grigori – the Watchers – is named as the explicit teacher of the violent and deceptive secrets of both weapons and cosmetics.

"And Azazel taught men to make swords and knives and shields and breastplates; and made known to them the metals [of the earth] and the art of working them; and bracelets and ornaments; and the use of antimony and the beautifying of the eyelids; and all kinds of costly stones and all colouring tinctures. And there arose much godlessness, and they committed fornication, and they were led astray and became corrupt in all their ways." [Book of Enoch 8:1–3a]

This tutelary patron, Azazel, is blamed fairly extensively by the Enochic God: ‘The whole earth has been corrupted through the works that were taught by Azazel: to him ascribe all sin.’ [Book of Enoch 2:8] Quite the reference for a curriculum vitae there.

So, 'collyries': a word describing magical preparations applied to the face, most typically the eyes. Thus, when Renaissance occult philosopher Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa warns of the power of sorcerous 'bindings', he offers some initial context for how these salves, pastes, and powders were considered:

'Now there are such kind of bindings as these made by Sorceries, Collyries, Unguents, love potions, by binding to, and hanging up of things, by rings, by charmes, by strong imaginations, and passions, by images, and characters, by inchantments, and imprecations, by lights, by sound, by numbers, by words, and names, invocations, sacrifices, by swearing, conjuring, consecrations, devotions, and by divers superstitions, and observations, and such like.'

Practically speaking, these collyries could come in the form of salves or washes. I am going to draw a line - however arbitrary - between the magic of beautifying or buffing oneself with compounds, and using these specialised magical preparations to imbue a 'magical expression' with greater potency. The former are employed to enchant oneself, whereas the latter I would argue enchant what one is throwing out, from evil side-eye to come hither glances. For instance, beyond this disclaimer, we will not consider the use of belladonna eye-drops - to widen the pupils and thus beautify the 'good lady' using them - despite these arguably being collyries, because they do not help with the "launching outwards" of a particular magical working, as much as they do glamour oneself. Likewise, the term 'collyrium' is sometimes used in medical herbalism to denote health-giving eye-washes and salves. I would also qualify these uses as internal 'buffs' like beautifying cosmetics. Now, this internal/external definitional divine falls apart in practice, I accept. If one is intending to stir the passions of lust in someone at a bar, we have two modes of looking: what we look like and how we look at them. For now though, if only for an artificial simplicity's sake (and brevity), I am going to concentrate on the latter. To reiterate for the herbalists: collyries can of course be employed to bolster health or affect one's physickal constituency, but for now we will content ourselves to consider those used to affect magical expression, especially gazing.

So how did such sorcerous eyeshadows and lipsticks work? In order to answer this we need to take a foray into understanding one of the underlying medical, occult, and cosmological models of the pre-modern magic: humoural theory.

But What Even Are A Humourals Theory Humoural theory formed the central operative European medical model for (at least) one and a half millennia, surviving from ancient Greece well into the early modern period. It was simply one of the most historically embedded, best regarded and most widely used medical models in the early modern period. It charted typologies of personality and behavioural proclivities of emotional expression, and indeed emotional experience. As Nogah Arikha puts it, ‘humoural theory explained most things about a person’s character, psychology, medical history, tastes, appearance, and behaviour.’ [Nogah Arikha, Passions and Tempers: A History of the Humours (New York: Harper Collins, 2007), xvii] It is proper to consider humoural theory as a magical principle concerning the organisation of the organic naturally magical cosmos, for the humours were considered the biological corollaries of the four classical elements.

Humoural theory posited substances (literally, ‘moistures’) that ‘controlled the whole existence and behaviour of mankind, and, according to the manner in which they were combined, determined the character of the individual.’ [Raymond Klibansky, Erwin Panofsky, and Fritz Saxl, Saturn and Melancholy: Studies in the History of Natural Philosophy, Religion, and Art (Nendeln: Kraus reprint, 1979), p. 3] Moreover, they linked humans and their environment in that they ‘corresponded, it was held, to the cosmic elements and to the divisions of time’. [Klibansky, Panofsky, and Saxl, p. 3] These cosmic elements, these 'originall grounds of all corporeall things' are of course understood by an occult natural philosophy of what Agrippa calls 'elementated world'. [Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa, Three Books of Occult Philosophy (London, 1651), 8] These classical four elements were corresponded to the humours: choleric Fire, sanguine Air, phlegmatic Water, and melancholy Earth.

As a brief but important note, the sanguine humour was often called 'blood', but the term could be used to refer to the actual sanguine humour, to the gross carrier liquid of all humours (which is why phlebotomy was thought to void all deleterious humours not just the sanguine ones). Sanguinity could even on occasion refer to 'subtle' sanguine vapours or aerial spirits in the body. Crucially also 'seed' (both male and female) and breastmilk were considered forms of rarified blood. Semen, especially, ‘as Galen had explained, was concocted out of blood’’[ Arikha, p. 164-5. For more on seed and blood, see Lesel Dawson, Lovesickness and Gender in Early Modern English Literature (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2008), p. 25-6, 85-6, 165-6, 209] This resulted in a further level of association ‘that those that are of a sanguine Complexion, are generally very Amorous’. [James Ferrand, Erotomania or A Treatise Discoursing of the Essence, Causes, Symptomes, Prognosticks, and Cure of Love or Erotique Melancholy (Oxford, 1640), p. 141] There is a rule-of-thumb that dictates that, in a way, prior to the wider acceptance and application of Paracelsian ideas about the organs, that all medical pathology was the study of malfunctioning or 'wounded' blood.

Humoural theory worked with connections between physiological and psychological affectivity in an incorporated and ensouled mind-body subject. It offered discourses for the distempers of the passions to be just as important to physical as to mental health. After all, at least potentially, ‘passions distemper the body, loose the spirits, ingender the humors, and produce diseases’ - moreover, ‘inordinate passion, is [itself] a most sharpe and violent disease: always dangerous and deadly…’ [M.I. Abernethy, A Christian and Heavenly Treatise: containing Physicke for the Soule (London, 1622), p. 264] This was no mere complaint about hysteria:  'the idea that heightened passion causes diseases and even death was common wisdom.’ [Michael MacDonald, Mystical Bedlam: Madness, Anxiety, and Healing in Seventeenth Century England (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1981), p. 181.]

The elements and their humours were apprehended by occult philosophers and astrologers (when those even were distinct personages!) through the elemental 'Triplicities': the four elementally-based groupings of the twelve signs of the zodiac, as when we refer to Aries, Leo and Sagittarius as 'Fire signs'. This created a greater degree of specificity of the elements and humours as apprehended in time, as when the Sun passed through these as the belt of zodiac revolved over the course of a year. What was time after all, mused Proclus (and, crucially, quoted Agrippa), but the movement of the celestial bodies? The wandering stars of the seven classical planets were also afforded elemental and humoural identities and associations, adding to the nuance of astrological diagnosis of humoural imbalances, and indeed to the range of astrological magical interventions, to either down- or up-regulate the humours of oneself or others, to balance or imbalance.

Such planetary humouralism and humoural planetary magic survives fossilised in idiomatic and figurative language to this day: we speak of people as saturnine, or mercurial, or having a sunny disposition, or even of lunacy itself. Such humoural theory did not simply set stringent "personality types", it articulated proclivities to particular experience and expression of passions. As one seventeenth-century passion theorist phrased the relationship, 'Passions ingender Humors, and Humors breed Passions'. [Thomas Wright, The Passions of the Minde in Generall (London, 1601), p. 64.] Such was the passional-humoural feedback loop of expression and habituation: a hot-headed angry Martial person not only lived in an angry world, but made themselves more likely to become angrier more easily. As we shall see, by the porous or "leaky" early modern self, such a choleric feedback might even extend its influence through and beyond the body, breath and speech of the angry person to begin to innervate and galvanise the natural choler of 'elementated world' around them. The angry person makes their world angrier. A stray furious look here, a bitter word there. Ripples in the imaginal fields of affect and contagion.

Express Your Bad Self The power of the humours - like other occult virtues - could be stirred, gathered, directed and deployed through words and signifying representational images, even images conjured and fixated in the imagination. This was most easily performed with humours and passions by being somewhat predicated on concepts of plethora (excess): from ‘the common Proverbe, ex adundantia cordis os loquitur, from the abundance of the heart, the tongue speaketh’. [Wright, Passions, p. 78-79] One could not help venting humours and passions when one expressed oneself. This welling tide of humours motivates us to speak up or pull a face at all. Indeed, the ex-pressive as well as behavioural affectivity of the passions was founded on the notion of the impassioned ensouled mind-body complex producing and being subject to inordinate unbalancing excesses. Impassioned and passionate, one simply had to get the words out.

Facial expressions, and especially the eyes, were some of the primary means to read and diagnose impassioned states. Yet this very readability also made them an excellent means of transferring passions. The seductive glance conveys a magical image as potentially powerful as any Venusian talisman of a maid holding a comb and mirror. Not only was this because ‘the countenance is the Image of the same’ passion prompting and enacted by it, but due to the origins of affections in the soul; for ‘by the eyes as by a window, you may looke euen into the secret corners of the Soule: so that it was well sayde of Alexander that the eyes are the mirror or Looking-glasse of the Soule.’ [Helkiah Crooke, Mikrocosmographia: A Description of the Body of Man Together with the Controversies Thereto Belonging (London, 1615), p. 8-9] The eyes did not merely convey meaning, but affectivity: the signifier was also the signified. An angry look carried an affective seed of anger itself. Thus a magnifying glass could also be a mirror, and this sense of reflection has a deep occult significance, as the ‘Looking-glasse’ looked both ways. As ‘the Eyes wonder at a thing, they loue it, they desire it; they are the bewrayers of loue, anger, rage, mercie, reuenge: in a worde; The eyes are fitted and composed to all the affections of the minde; expressing the very Image thereof in such a manner’. [Crooke, Mikrocosmographia, p. 9. Emphasis added.] Again, ��expression” was a literal as well as figurative term. To think of expressions in both behavioural and idiomatic light, malefic choleric expressions and their dangerous martial qualities are preserved in much modern idiom: the sharp tongue, bitter words, cutting remarks, seeing red, staring daggers.

Gaze Amplifiers A particular expression while gazing was not the only way to augment magically affective ‘overlooking’. The clearest example is that of ‘Collyries', magical salves to smear upon the eyes to magnify the effects of fascination. Here is Heinrich Agrippa on their potencies:

‘Collyries, and Unguents conveying the vertues of things Naturall, and Celestiall to our spirit, can multiply, transmute, transfigure and transform it accordingly, as also transpose those vertues which are in them into it, that so it cannot act only upon its own body, but also upon that which is neer it, and affect that by visible rayes charmes, and by touching it, with some like quality. For because our spirit is the subtile, pure lucid, airy, and unctuous vapour of the blood; it is therefore fit to make Collyries of the like vapours, which are more sutable to our spirit in substance, for then by reason of their likeness, they do the more stir up, attract, and transform the spirit. The like virtues have certain ointments and other confections.’ [Agrippa, Three Books of the Occult Philosophy, trans. 'JF' (London, 1651), p. 90]

Such 'Collyries' would be made from ‘the gall of a man’, which was the main depository of yellow bile, and thus powerful for strengthening choleric gazes. Consider the very phrase "having the gall": filling with fiery boldness. Such collyries could also be compounded from animal ingredients, such as ‘the blood of a lapwing, of a bat, and of a goat’. [Agrippa, Three Books, p. 134] These animal components were considered sources of appropriate occult virtue. One reason for this consideration was the idea that humours and passions were regulated by the rational faculties of the human soul, faculties that animals lacked. So the beasts of the earth were considered to express and even, in their use as spell components, enmatter unadulterated humours and passions. Raw feelings, to be marshalled and manipulated. Wolf parts were choleric, as their howling indicated. Cats were melancholy... as their howling also indicated. For more on this fascinating dimension to Shakespearean witches' brews, see Gail Kern Paster's 'Melancholy Cats, Lugged Bears, and Early Modern Cosmology: Reading Shakespeare's Psychological Materialism Across the Species Barrier', in Reading the Early Modern Emotions, edited by Paster, Katherine Rowe, and Mary Floyd-Wilson.

Now, I hope I do not need to state the importance of knowing the chemical and biological as well as magical affectivity of any materials you might chose to use in this manner. I do not wish to speak down to anyone by stating "do not rub random blood into your peepers". But, yknow, maybe don't. There are a wealth of herbs and other ingredients that contain the appropriate occult virtues to work as collyries that won't cause other problems. Consider adapting planetary correspondences for plant allies you already work: choleric humours respond to Solar and Martial virtues; phlegmatic humours to those of Venus and the Moon; jovial Jupiter is considered especially sanguine; and Saturn is well known as the ruler of melancholy. Again, to disclaim, I must strongly advice that if you are pregnant or might be pregnant, do not attempt any working, magical or medicinal, where you are taking herbs or other substances internally or through a mucous membrane like the eyes.

By these means of compounding humourally and passionally-charged materia, the humours expelled through the eyes and the passions expressed, vivified, and received were empowered and amplified by the virtues of these salves and eye-washes: for ‘such like passions also can magical confections induce, by suffumigations, by collyries, by unguents, by potions, by poisons, by lamps and lights, by looking-glasses, by images, enchantments, charms, sounds and music’. [Agrippa, Three Books, p. 135] Such magical eye-washes were not some half-baked tacked-on gimmick; they were as core a part of magical tool use as lamps, images, and incantations.

Yet amplifying the ejection of a sort of astral poison out of one's eyes was not the only use of such preparations. Agrippa goes onto to foreground the importance of sight and vision in terms of the all-too-real magic of the imagination:

'Now the sight, because it perceives more purely and clearly than the other senses, and fastening in us the marks of things more acutely and deeply, doth most of all and before others, agree with the phantastic spirit, as is apparent in dreams, when things seen do more often present themselves to us than things heard, or any thing coming under the other senses. Therefore, when collyries or eye-waters transform visual spirits, that spirit doth easily affect the imagination, which indeed being affected with divers species and forms, transmits the same by the spirit unto the outward sense of sight; by which occasion there is caused in it a perception of such species and forms in that manner, as if it were moved by external objects, that there seem to be seen terrible images and spirits and such like. So there are made collyries, making us forthwith to see the images of spirits in the air or elsewhere...' [Agrippa, Three Books, p. 134]

There is also a strong dimension by which collyries affected the imagination. For ‘when collyries transform visual spirits, that spirit doth easily affect the imagination’ either of oneself – in order to ‘make invocated spirits to be seen’ – or of others, in order to manipulate their senses and passions. (Those interested in magical preparations for seeing spirits might find this blog post compiling grimoiric instructions for such material useful.) These perceptual distortions of the magical gaze upon the overlooked’s imaginations could induce targets to ‘hear horrid, or delectable sounds’ making them ‘angry, and contend, nobody being present, and fear where there is no fear’. [Agrippa, Three Books, p. 134-5] Here occult passion manipulation is working directly on the imagination, through the inducement of impassioned hallucinatory states.

Lest this talk of imagination sound "too psychologising", we should bear in mind Agrippa is also clear that 'by divers rites, observations, ceremonies, religions and superstitions; all which shall be handled in their places. And not only by these kind of arts are passions, apparitions and images induced, but also things themselves, which are really changed and transfigured into divers forms...' The field-like qualities of the pre-modern magical imagination did not mean "it's all in your head". Rather, that something moving through your head (and heart!) - the tides of choleric boldness and anger, phlegmatic fear and hope, sanguine love and lust, and melancholy cogitation - flowed through us, into and out of the world, reminding and reanimating 'elementated' components of the responsive interconnected cosmos of their own natural magic. Nature itself could also be charmed, in this continually unfolding dance of attraction and rebuffing; the inhale and exhale of sympathia and antipathy expressing itself through the actions of a dancefloor or cast shade, variously as majestic and cutting as the turning celestial orbs spinning to the music of the spheres.

[thornstocutyouwith]

Name: Kamryn Algernon Ukko Austen Nyström  

Meaning of Name: Kamryn: Crooked Nose, Algernon: With mustaches, Ukko:  is the primary (Finnish) deity — the god of thunder and the sky/ “Old Man”,  Austen: great and magnificent,  Nyström: New river

Nickname(s): Kam, Algie, Al, Aussie, Ny

Age: 28

Birthday: February 12

Nationality: American, Scottish, Finnish, Italian, German, Swedish,

Accent: Yes

Language spoken: English, Italian, German, Swedish, Gaelic

Powers:

Unknown

Weaknesses/Illness/Allergies: Pollen allergy, Allergic to wasps, Unspecific trauma related disorders in his childhood, Anxiety,

Pet: Gecko (Male, Asterix)

Occupation: Undercover FBI Agent, Owner of The Sword is Mightier Than the Pen bookstore (Or The Pen for short)

Faceclaim: Chris Wood

Description:  

Outfit/Accessories/Jewelry:

Height: 6′ 3″

Weight: 190

Body Build: Athletic

Backstory/Background: 

Past

Kamryn was born into a middle-class family only two days before Valentine’s day to his American mother and Scottish father. His father had been married once before and had had two children before marrying his mother and having his older sister and him. Kamryn being the youngest of the four children in the family was often babied and doted on. Though he had shown signs of being quite a smart young boy who often amazed his parents, as he seemed to adapt to and pick up on things quickly. Though things were not always as happy. His father had worked himself practically to the bone at a factory.

While his mother stayed at home to take care of her two children, plus the older two children who had moved from Scotland to live with their father after a nasty divorce from their abusive mother. Money had been tight but Halle and Kenneth Nyström managed to keep a happy, clean family home life for the four children. Though as most stories go, not everything good can last. While out with the young Kamryn, one a day trip to take care of bills and other such things that needed to be done while Kenneth had been at work most of the day, gunshots rang out.

Several stray bullets managed to strike the pair while they were walking along the sidewalks to attend to the day’s errand. Striking Halle in the head and chest and Kamryn in the gut and one of his hands. Kamryn did not talk for a long time after the traumatizing experience at such a young age. His father had sent him to therapy to help him open up again. In time the young boy managed to forget about the incident as he grew older and into adulthood. Though through the family he knew what had happened to his mother. Which had inspired him for the most part to join up with the FBI. Though sometimes he is often still startled by loud bangs and the sight of blood leaves him nauseous. Kamryn has made a life for himself, ending up on the FBI and undercover as a bookstore owner.

Present

With gang activity picking up Kamryn has taken on an undercover assignment, making his bookstore the front for his undercover operations. Though has only owned the bookstore and been undercover for a few months he has, unknowingly gotten to know some of the gang members he’s been assigned to infiltrate, from either of the gangs he’s observing. Though there has been an incident in recent months that made his current position stagnant.

After a party at the beach where one gang fired upon the other Kamryn was one of the people who ended up being shot and had been in hospital for several weeks following the incident, only recently getting out and back on his feet and to good health, or seemingly so, since this shootout happened.

Future

(Work in Progress)

Criminal History:

One might think that someone who might come from Kamryn’s background may never have committed a crime.  Though in his teen years he did run with a small gang for a short while. They were an underground organization that ended up getting caught because at the time the entire organization had been young teenagers and their leader hacked the wrong person. Which ultimately lead to his capture as he tried running and was caught red-handed with certain government intelligence he should not have had on a save file. A dumb kid kind of mistake.

This lead to Kamryn’s interest being fixated on becoming an FBI agent. Seeing it as more rewarding overall. Though while he had been under arrest. The one last time and asking about how to join up with the FBI he had overheard one officer talking about the murder of his mother, still an accident. But he had heard it had been in connection with a certain organization that he could not quite catch the name of. After that he was released, his bail paid, he spent some time in juvenile detention before being released back into the population with his records erased.

Personality:

Conscientiousness, Determined, Zany,  Brutal,  Considerate, Cultured, Curious, Logical, Attractive, Amoral, Perceptive, Practical, Observant, Empathetic, Deceptive, Stubborn, Ambitious, Neutral, Impersonal, Unpredictable, Unfathomable, Stylish, Undemanding, Stern, Modern, Morbid, Offhand, Secretive, Grim, Assertive, Opportunistic, Phlegmatic

Quirks/Savvies/Other: Hums, Believes in mythical creatures, Fidgets when nervous, Likes to improve things to make them more efficient, When he gets bored he spaces out, 122 IQ, Greysexual, Has duel degrees one in criminal psychology and the other a masters in science, Blood type: A+

Likes: Organic vegetables, Jigsaw puzzles, Escapology, Science, Blueberry muffins, Golf, Yoga, Hockey, Baking, Football, Watching sports, Palm reading, Roast, Sailing, Swimming, Relaxing, Fencing, Watching television, Photography, Helping old ladies across the road, Martial arts, Tree shaping, Looking for clues, Interviewing suspects, Watching YouTube videos, Tea, Table top games, Art, Reading, Botany, Topiaries, Ballroom dancing, Jack o'lanterns, Llamas, Nifty hats, Rocks, Sparring,

Dislikes: Olives, Chess, Cookery, Walking, Listening to the radio, Badminton, Charity work, Milkshakes, Jam crackers, Soup, Horse riding, Donating blood,   Playlists, Pizza, Blood, Alternative music, Medieval music, Dolphins, Medieval history, Live-action roleplaying, The saxophone,

Fears: Centipedes, Failure,  His cover being blown,

Personality Tests: ENTJ-A, The Challenger, The Enthusiast, The Loyalist, 8w7 The Nonconformist, Moral Alignment: Neutral, Gryffindor,  Gryffinclaw, Wampus/Horned Serpent, Hippogriff Patronus, Element: Air,  Left brained, Right handed, Temperament: Sanguine/Phlegmatic,

Other: Aquarius, Chinese Zodiac: Water Monkey, Haab’ Mayan Zodiac: Falcon/Frog, Celtic Zodiac: Cat/Rowan,  Mayan Zodiac: The Wind,

Parent(s):

 -> Father: Kenneth Nyström

 -> Mother: Halle Nyström

Sibling(s): Caelan Nyström (Older half brother), 1 older half sister, 1 older full blood sister,

Starters

Chat’s

Para’s

Face

Stuff

Information

Asks

All

                                                                              Alternate Universes

[ninehq]

      TO START OFF , we’d like to thank everyone who applied for ninehq and took the chance to send in an app to our tiny rp ! deliberations were hard since we had received almost thirty apps for a nine character rp but me and the rest of the admins have finally finished deciding ! the names and the basic description of the characters who have gotten accepted are under the cut . if you’re under it , follow the checklist and send in your discord handle when you send in your blog ! we will be releasing accounts tomorrow and once again , thank you so much to anyone who showed interest in our rp ! 

( JENNIE KIM / THE SOVEREIGN / CISFEMALE. ) ❝ ––– kyler ahn is a twenty three year old fashion intern and part time stripper from staten island, new york. she must love distraction by kehlani, because they’re always playing it. they’re totally allocentric & punctilious, but some people find them to be phlegmatic & acrimonious. they’re always carrying around cherry chapstick, and you can tell that it’s them because of the scar on the right side of their face.  / m.  est.  she/her.

( REECE KING / THE GRANDIOSE / CISMALE. ) ❝ ––– mason d'souza is a twenty four year old fashion photographer at gq from chicago. he must love gold by brockhampton, because they’re always playing it. they’re totally valiant & jocular, but some people find them to be machiavellian & intrasigent. they’re always carrying around a pack of blunts, and you can tell that it’s them because of the minolta x700 that hangs around his neck. / aja. est. she/her.

( NAOMI SCOTT / THE OLYMPIAN / CIS FEMALE. ) ❝ ––– daphne moreau is a twenty four year old personal trainer at horizon gym from san francisco. she must love kill v. main by grimes, because they’re always playing it. they’re totally adamant & resilient, but some people find them to be obstinate & erratic. they’re always carrying around an old walkman, and you can tell that it’s them because of their knee brace on their left leg. / teddy. est. she/her.

( KIM TAEHYUNG / THE PHOENIX / CISMALE. ) ❝ ––– seo jun is a twenty five year old tattoo artist at INKWELL, and a partner in a drug business from manhattan. he must love demons by joji, because they’re always playing it. they’re totally indulgent & beguiling, but some people find them to be petulant & unscrupulous. they’re always carrying around an engraved copper ring, and you can tell that it’s them because of the strange collection of tattoos that make up a sleeve on his left arm.  / eloise.  gmt+11.  she/hers.

( ROSS BUTLER / THE LOTHARIO / DEMIBOY. ) ❝ ––– jacob christopher vogel is a twenty-six year old bartender at bunny’s bar from new york city, new york. he must love good times by matt duncan because they’re always playing it. they’re totally gregarious & steadfast, but some people find them to be desirous & mercurial. they’re always carrying around a marker, fine point, and you can tell that it’s them because of thundering laugh. / dee.  cst/est.  she/they.

( FC PENDING / THE QUIXOTIC / CISFEMALE. ) ❝ ––– dot wynn is a AGE PENDING year old kindergarten teacher from new york, manhattan. she must love burning love by elvis presley, because they’re always playing it. they’re totally sanguine & amorous, but some people find them to be starry eyed & puerile. they’re always carrying around their glasses, and you can tell that it’s them because of their never ending hyperactive state.  / nana.  cst.  she/her.

[yourladybrie]

All the greens for Layla !

In her voice! 

Green - Was there ever a time in your life that you went through a period of growth? describe it.

I mean I grew up quickly on this mission, putting my trauma aside to help others. I don’t think I have fully grown up yet, I still have a lot of growing up to do. 

Juniper - What is the nature like in your setting?

Currently, Nature is a bunch of islands of paradise. The jungle is vast and it has mystery dryads. Back home, Nature is far from every day life; the city is consuming.

Shamrock - Do you believe in luck? If so, are you a generally lucky person?

Fate has something to do with life, but no I don’t believe in luck. I am not lucky person. 

Pine- If camping exists in your wold, have you gone camping? did you like it? do you go often?

I have not gone camping! I normally stay in the coven, where it is safe. I guess its like camping because we all sleep in the same room. 

Green tea - Does Tea it exist in your world?  If so do you like it, and which kind is your favorite?

Yes it does! I do like Tea. I prefer Jasmine Tea or an Earl Grey. 

Fern - Would you enjoy running a flower shop?

I mean I see it as a good business, but its not where my calling is. 

Seafoam - Are there bodies of water in your setting? Describe them if you can

There are! There is the ocean which I look out every day. Its big, blue, and beautiful. Some day I hope to cross it. 

Mint - Does Ice cream exist in your world? If so, what is your favorite Ice cream flavor?

It does! But I never tried it myself. I have to say vanilla, would probably be my favorite. 

Laurel - Is there a major victory you’ve achieved in your life? if so, what is it?

I don’t think so. My victories have been small. 

Emerald - If you could be immortal, would you want to be?

No. 

Brunswick - Are you a person who is often jealous? what makes you jealous most often?

I get jealous when it involves a romantic relationship. (She is only experienced Jealousy when people flirted with Kellan, otherwise no).

Avocado - Are you a health nut or a fan of junkfood?

Middle? I like homemade cooking!

Army - Do you have a fighting style? If so, what is it?

My fighting style is usually defensive. I like to protect those around me from others and only attack when I have to. And if I do, then I strike to maim, not kill. 

Olive - What is your Greek personality type? (sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, or melancholic)

She would be a mix of Choleric and Sanguine. She has the courageous and amorous part of Sanguine, but she also bad tempered. 

[chin-up-love]

From Phlegmatic to Amorousness

Chapter One

Paring: Bucky x Reader (eventually), Platonic! Steve x Reader, hints of Steve x Nat

Word Count: 1,454

Warnings: Angst, Depression

*This is not my GIF and all credit goes to the original owner. I don’t own any of these characters, but it would be so cool if I did.* 

Do you ever wake up and have that moment before everything in your life comes crashing down like a tsunami on you and all you feel is pure serenity? That moment seems to be the only thing that can coax you out of deep sleep. You crave those few seconds before you realize who you are and what you’ve done.

Back in high school, before you were brought to the Avenger’s Tower, you had a English teacher who warned you about those few moments. She told you that once we start living for the next time those few moments come around, and not all that happens in between, you are no longer living.

Feeling lost in a state of subsisting you decide you should take your first step towards that next euphoric moment of peace. Getting out of your covers and slowly maneuvering yourself towards your bathroom you wonder when you became so numb. You slowly piece together the strength to put on another facade of happiness to get yourself ready for the day.

Once ready you head out and decide to stop for some breakfast before going to the gym. With each heavy footstep you treasure the time you don't have to pretend to be okay. As you round the corner to the kitchen you feel the corners of your mouth creep upwards into a smile. Your acting skills seem to be good as ever because you receive nothing more than nonchalant nods and hello’s from your teammates.Grabbing an apple from the fruit basket left on the counter you decide to sit for a little while.

Listening into the conversation and trying to deduce the topic so you can join in you subtly try to lean in. Finally figuring out it was about the man that Steve was bringing back from T’challa’s home you decided it was safe to add your two cents into the conversation.

“So any news on when Cap is arriving home?”

Nat was the first to respond. “He’s actually getting back today. Speaking of which I was supposed to relay some of Steve’s ‘ground rules’ about Sergeant Barnes to everyone before they got here.” Too anyone else this might seem normal, but Steve normally always texts you first. This leads you to wondered when Nat and Steve had gotten so close. It seems like you miss a lot when you’re preoccupied with not letting anyone in too close.

“When we meet Barnes it’s probably best we don’t do anything that might startle him or make him uncomfortable. Obviously our goal is to make this transition as easy as possible for him.” Everyone seemed to agree with the littering of soft noddings. “Okay well we should treat today as any other. Get to training.”

Heeding Nat’s advice you head down to the gym and start warming up. As you stretch out more and more of your team makes it’s way down to join you. Last night had been a rough one seeing as every time you closed your eyes you were kick started awake by a nightmare. Wanting to get all of your bottled up frustration out you move to the punching bag and put your earphones in.

Your fists assault the bag in time to the rhythm of your music. Each time your fist connects you feel a soft sting in your wrists and knuckles. You don’t notice how the gym suddenly becomes quiet around you as Steve walks in with the newest Avenger in tow. It isn’t until Steve gives you a soft nudge in the back that you realize he’s returned.

You remove your earphones and nearly launch yourself at him. Giving the best bone crushing hug you could muster. You peek over his broad shoulder at a man who must be Sergeant Barnes, His blue eyes enrapture you in a utter feeling of ice.

The feeling to anyone else might be unwelcome, but for you it was exhilarating. Any chance you got to feel something else other than numb you took. Finally breaking eye contact with the new man you return your attention to Steve.

“Good to see you managed to make your way back in one piece.” You softly nudge his shoulder but keeping a close proximity to his body.

“It was hard making it out there without my best girl by my side,” A genuine blush crossed your face at his choice of wording.

“Oh Stevie you’re gonna give Sergeant Barnes here the wrong idea about us!” Steve’s lips shaped into his earth shattering grin that would leave any girl with butterflies.

“Don’t worry Doll. I’ve told Bucky a lot about you. He knows you’re just my friend.” Turning yourself towards Barnes you muster up your best smile.

“Well I hope you told him only good things.” You slowly extend your right hand out for him to shake. “It’s a pleasure to finally put a face to all the stories. My name is (Y/N).”

He slowly reciprocated the gesture with a small and shy smile. “Nice to meet you. Call me Bucky.” He turned towards everyone. Making it known that’s what he prefered to go by.

“Sure thing. Um Steve. Once you finish getting Bucky acquainted can you meet me in my room?” A wave of nervousness washed over your skin as you awaited his answer. HIs eyes quickly darted to Nat’s and then back to you. So fast you nearly missed it.

“Uh yeah sure doll. I’ll have Jarvis tell you when I’m ready.” With a tight smile to Steve and a gentle nod to Bucky you returned to your work out.

Once you finished your daily workout routine you decide to take another shower. Hoping to give yourself down time to reassemble your breaking mask of happiness you head back to your private corridors.

You shower and get dressed in lounging clothes and try to get some shut eye. To no avail can you shake the horrid images of past missions so you settle with blankly staring at the ceiling.

It was 11:23 P.M. when Steve finally showed up.  As he walked in you barely stirred passed a small hand motion of acknowledgement.

“Hey Stevie. Did Bucky seem to settle in okay for his first day?” Through your thick eye lashes you drank in the image of a fairly disheveled Steve. He was with Natasha. I can smell her perfume from here.

“Uh yeah. He seemed to be doing okay. All things considering.” He looked nervous. His eyes seemed to avoid yours at all cost. Why was he hiding his relationship with Nat? Perhaps more importantly.. Why did he feel guilty? He is worried about how you would respond. Probably thinks you’re to unstable without his constant attention.

Motioning for him to come join you in your swarm of blankets you scoot over to provide him room. You slowly reach for his fingers and begin to play with them. Leaning your head against his arm you sigh softly. Since coming to the tower Steve had become like an older brother to you.

“I missed you Steve.” He shuffled so his arm engulfs your small body.

“I know kid. I missed you too.” He seemed to trail off and carefully evaluate his next words. “How did you sleep while I was  gone?” Now here ladies and gentlemen is where you test your acting skills.

“I slept like a log. Probably the best sleep I’ve gotten in years.” He seemed to buy it. “I just wanted to say goodnight personally.”

You paused because you weren’t sure if what you say next would let him know you’re onto his and Black Widows relationship. “You know if you ever need me I'll be there in a heartbeat right?”

As he nods you start gently nudging him out of your bed and you follow him to your door.

“Sweet dreams cap.”

“Sweet dreams (Y/N).”

Trying to not show your sudden need to be alone you slowly closed your door behind him. You had a lot to think about. Contemplating when you became such a hindrance to Steve social life you start to trudge back to bed. It has gotten to the point where even beloved Steve lies to your face.

Over the past year you have slowly began to enclose your safety borders to your room. The only time you felt safe was when you were in Steve's arms. Now it feels like your borders are getting smaller again. Soon you fear you may suffocate on your self made course of isolation. With these thoughts in mind you get pulled into a deep sleep. You made it to the next moment but you fear how long you have before the nightmares start.

I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter. I’m always up for constructive criticism! The next chapter is almost ready, so it should be out in a couple of days. Below are people who showed interest. Notify me if you want to be added or removed.

Tag List:

@i-had-a-life-once @this-kitty-has-claws @obscurilicious @theonlyonelives @boyzines @myrabbitholetoneverland

[alice-a-sonhadora-us-blog]

AFETIVIDADE - A DEVOÇÃO DOS TIGRES O tigre selvagem terá somente uma ninhada de filhotes a cada 3 a 4 anos (geralmente de dois a seis filhotes). Os pequenos tigres permanecerão com sua mãe por aproximadamente dois anos, nos quais ela irá orienta-los ensinando-os a caçar e a tornarem-se autosuficientes. Assistindo a um tigre fêmea protegendo e ensinando seus filhotes, torna-se óbvio para o observador que ela é uma mãe dedicada e amorosa. A gentileza que ela exibe em relação a seus filhotes pode se transformar rapidamente em ferocidade quando seus jovens filhotes estão sendo ameaçados, mas quando se trata de cuidar da sua prole, ela parece deleitar-se em seu papel de mãe. Para os “duas-pernas” com alma-tigre, há uma tendência intrínseca da devoção feroz que flui através de suas veias. Quando um indivíduo tigre ama outra pessoa, seja em um amigo ou amante, a lealdade, a intensidade e a devoção que ele derrama sobre seus entes queridos deixa uma marca indelével nos corações e mentes dos outros. Para alguns indivíduos menos apaixonados que se encontram em uma relação afetiva com uma alma-tigre, esta intensidade pode ser esmagadora e eles vão escapar por "águas mais suaves", enquanto que aqueles que possuem um incêndio e profundidade semelhante dentro de seus próprios corações encontrarão um parceiro especial no indivíduo tigre. ALMAS-TIGRE E OS DESAFIOS DO CORAÇÃO Os desafios para a alma-tigre podem ser vários quando se trata de assuntos do coração. Alguns tigres tendem a queimar com uma intensidade ardente. Mas tal paixão feroz não pode ser mantida indefinidamente e o calor escaldante de paixão vai diminuir rapidamente e, apesar do início emocionante (e mesmo que o parceiro/a ainda esteja encantado a intensidade do Tigre). Embora o romance possa ser inicialmente emocionante, a Alma-Tigre parte muito cedo em busca de um novo romance para reviver a fogueira exuberante de um novo relacionamento. O resultado é que o companheiro/a deixado/a para trás fica com o coração partido e aquelas “almas-tigre” menos sensíveis terão acumulado um saldo cármico negativo até que ele/ela possa identificar esse comportamento destrutivo e aprender a agir com mais compaixão e consciência. Mas inverso disso pode acontecer quando a “alma-tigre” está tão focada em amar os outros, derramando sobre eles seus cuidados, dominando seus próprios desejos, necessidades para agradar o parceiro nem sempre disposto a retribuir.. Neste caso, frequentemente, a devoção é completamente descabida, pois a alma-tigre está tão ocupada atendendo às necessidades do companheiro/a que nada sobra para alimentar a sua própria alma. Em ambos os casos, a lição para a alma-tigre é aprender o equilíbrio entre a paixão e a perseverança, amor ao próximo e um auto amor. Uma vez que este meio-termo é alcançado, o resultado é uma alma plena dando que ensinará a todos os que se deparam com ela, a beleza da verdadeira devoção e amor. PRINCÍPIO YIN / YANG – A ALMA-TIGRE E O EQUILÍBRIO ENTRE OS OPOSTOS Um olhar para a magnífica pele de um tigre revela como as listras pretas que estão cobertas contra o pano de fundo de uma coloração laranja/ferrugem sugere uma certa dualidade. Na natureza, quando há um contraste tão significativo, indica que há uma duplicidade de sentido e/ou finalidade. Este contraste de padrões e cores na pele do tigre sugere um equilíbrio entre os princípios Yin/Yang. O conceito chinês Yin/Yang é o conceito de que todas as coisas na vida são equilibrados através dos seus opostos e esses opostos são metades iguais do todo. feminino/masculino, branco/preto, claro/ escuro, são exemplos dessa polaridade que é o fundamento básico deste conceito. Portanto, quando se olha para o Tigre como um totem e seu belo pelo de padrões e cores misturadas, torna-se evidente que este é um ser criatura que possui o equilíbrio das energias. Como um animal-totem, o Tigre vai caminhar ao lado dos “duas pernas” ensinando o equilíbrio entre os extremos da natureza, dos sentimentos e do temperamento. As “almas-tigre” são indivíduos ao mesmo tempo, quentes ou frios, cheios de paixão ou completamente isoladas e fleumáticas. Alternam períodos quentes com períodos “mornos” sexualmente falando. O desafio para estas “almas-tigre” está em encontrar o equilíbrio entre os extremos e entendimento de que as duas metades não são contradições de um ou outro, mas partes de um todo que precisam ser entendidas e integradas. Ao experimentar uma faceta da vida, sentindo e sendo então o "oposto", o Tiger aprende a importância do equilíbrio. Muitas vezes, o “duas pernas” que tem o Tigre como seu totem animal terá que percorrer as chamas do inferno e voltar várias vezes durante a sua vida. Muitas lições dolorosas serão encontrados em que ele/ela vai chegar ao ponto de exaustão absoluta, para então surgir como o Fenix à partir de suas próprias cinzas e começar um novo ciclo de crescimento e aprendizagem. 🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐯 AFFECTIVENESS - TIGER DEVOTION The wild tiger will only have one litter of pups every 3 to 4 years (usually two to six pups). The little tigers will stay with their mother for about two years, in which she will guide them by teaching them how to hunt and become self-reliant. Watching a female tiger protect and teach her young, it becomes obvious to the observer that she is a devoted and loving mother. The kindness she displays toward her puppies can quickly turn to ferocity when her young puppies are being threatened, but when it comes to taking care of her offspring, she seems to delight in her role as mother. For the two-legged tiger-soul, there is an intrinsic tendency to fierce devotion that flows through their veins. When a tiger individual loves another person, whether in a friend or lover, the loyalty, intensity and devotion he pours on his loved ones leaves an indelible imprint on the hearts and minds of others. For some less passionate individuals who are in an affective relationship with a tiger soul, this intensity can be overwhelming and they will escape through "softer waters", while those who have a fire and similar depth within their own hearts will find a special partner in the individual tiger. TIGER SOULS AND HEART CHALLENGES The challenges for the tiger soul can be many when it comes to matters of the heart. Some tigers tend to burn with a burning intensity. But such fierce passion cannot be maintained indefinitely and the scorching heat of passion will subside quickly and despite the exciting start (and even if the partner is still enchanted by the intensity of the Tiger). While the romance may initially be thrilling, the Tiger-Soul departs very early in search of a new romance to revive the lush bonfire of a new relationship. The result is that the mate left behind is heartbroken and those less sensitive tiger souls will have accumulated a negative karmic balance until he / she can identify this destructive behavior and learn to act more compassionate. and conscience. But the opposite can happen when the “tiger soul” is so focused on loving others, pouring out their cares, mastering their own desires, needs to please the partner not always willing to give back. In this case, often, devotion It is completely out of place, for the tiger soul is so busy meeting the needs of its mate that nothing is left to feed its own soul. In either case, the lesson for the tiger soul is to learn the balance between passion and perseverance, love of neighbor, and self love. Once this middle ground is reached, the result is a full giving soul that will teach all who come across it the beauty of true devotion and love. YIN / YANG PRINCIPLE - ALMA-TIGER AND BALANCE BETWEEN OPPOSITES A glance at the magnificent skin of a tiger reveals how the black stripes that are covered against the orange / rust backdrop suggest a certain duality. In nature, when there is such a significant contrast, it indicates that there is a duplicity of meaning and / or purpose. This contrast of patterns and colors in the tiger's skin suggests a balance between the Yin / Yang principles. The Chinese Yin / Yang concept is the concept that all things in life are balanced through their opposites and these opposites are equal halves of the whole. female / male, white / black, light / dark, are examples of this polarity that is the basic foundation of this concept. Therefore, when looking at the Tiger as a totem and its beautiful fur of mixed patterns and colors, it becomes evident that it is a creature with the balance of energies. Like a totem animal, the Tiger will walk alongside the "two legs" teaching the balance between the extremes of nature, feelings, and temperament. “Tiger souls” are both hot and cold, passionate or completely isolated and phlegmatic individuals. They alternate warm periods with sexually speaking “warm” periods. The challenge for these “tiger souls” lies in finding the balance between extremes and understanding that the two halves are not contradictions of one or the other, but parts of the whole that need to be understood and integrated. By experiencing a facet of life, feeling and then being the "opposite," the Tiger learns the importance of balance. Often, the "two legs" who have the Tiger as their animal totem will have to travel through the flames of hell and back again and again during their lifetime. Many painful lessons will be found in which he / she will reach the point of absolute exhaustion, then emerge as the Phoenix from its own ashes and begin a new cycle of growth and learning.