#Forgive me for taking forever
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Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
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the pspspsps effectively got me. Im in. Youâve got me hooked. Now I present the new idea I just got for the language barrier au. You know how the genshin names have different meanings in different language like how Ei apparently means egg in german? Imagine speaking in another language/you native language and one of the words sounds really similar to one of the characterâs names or just straight up is their name, so they ask why you call them but youâre not calling that character but are actually saying smth else like egg.
I think i talked abt this sometime ago in 2023 masterpost, so i felt more inclined to share some shitty art of how i imagine these moments go instead lmao
(it should be very assumed atp that i am so so SO sorry i took forever to reply!! /gen)
sorry its just my art đ
Safe Travels Anon,
đâ
I feel bad tagging ppl for smth kinda small?? and its just my art not even a writing blurb - srry guys just thought smth better than nothing, more to come!
âĄthe belovedsâĄ
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist /Â @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko
@kiyomi-uchiha777
#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin isekai#genshin imagines#genshin impact#gender neutral reader#genshin impact sagau#genshin x reader#my asks#aqua asks#aqua art#genshin impact self aware au#not really sorry :(#more like isekai#genshin sagau art#again sorry abt replying taking forever!#i rlly do have a lot of ppl in my inbox i realized#and i have unmedicated adhd#and a busy year when i made this blog#pls forgive me#</3
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luxendarc miku
#bravely default#bravely second#any jrpg actually#hatsune miku#vocaloid#brazilian miku#i was a bit self indulgent today#artist on tumblr#my comfort place#the next rdr drawing is taking forever bc it's very out of my comfort zone#pls forgive me#i'm glad i finally made a complete piece in 2h instead of forever#back to grind
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"King of the masquerade"
I've seen quite a few people use this phrase as 'proof' that Kazui is secretly egotistical or proud of what he's done, so this post will be me breaking apart what I think he actually means
A king is the male ruler of a country, or in this case, the man who rules over the masquerade that Kazui lives by. A good king is strong, commanding, dominanting, someone who leads others and protects everyone within his kingdom. Someone who is respected and admired by all and feared by those who challenge him or threaten those he protects. In other words- a king is the height of masculinity. A strong provider.
Kazui is someone who, on the inside, has failed to become the ideal masculine man. On the inside, he priorities his emotional safety above others, he's timid and weak, he's manipulative to those closest to him, and he wants to be cared for rather than being the one who cares. Unfortunately for him, he isn't allowed to be anything other than the 'perfect man'. Even before he was born, he's had the expectation of being a strong man forces upon him, regardless of what he truly wants or needs. He isn't naturally manipulative, but has had to become so to protect himself. He lies and 'follows' the ideal of masculinity (the king) until he can become it himself- even though it's something he can never truly become.
But he's not just following the king in order to become like him, he's following him to get the king's protection. As said before, a king rules over and protects all those under him. A good king will look after his citizens, and as long as Kazui is under him, Kazui is given the safety he isn't allowed in his normal life. Kazui isn't just following any king, but the king of the masquerade- as long as Kazui lives under a mask, he is granted protection. He's only allowed to be safe if he hides behind a performance of masculinity. Kazui said it best himself, lies are "ways to live without getting hurt", and he will "lie until it gets better".
Even if the things I've just mentioned weren't true, even if they were Kazui flexing his ego or something similar, it wouldn't matter. I can't subscribe to the idea that this man is proud of what he's done because more than anything, what Kazui wants so deeply, is to be freed of his lies. To stop following the king.
Kazui is a man who has been torn between two desires his entire life- the desire to be safe, and the desire to be accepted as his true self. He cannot have both, if he wants to be safe he has to hide who he is, and if he wants to be true to himself, he has to put himself at risk. It's only after 39 years that he's finally made his choice to try and live as himself, but he can't just quit lying as he pleases. Dropping his mask means tearing down the kingdom walls and exposing himself to pain. He would have to live without the king's protection for the first time in his life and he is rightfully terrified to do so, he needs to be given patience and help in order to live freely.
TLDR: Kazui hides behind the masculine ideal. This isn't something he wants to do, but feels it's the only way he can be safe.
#milgram#kazui mukuhara#I will NOT stand for people saying he has an ego!!! he hates himself so strongly!!! his biggest emotion is shame!!!!! i will not accept it!!#lets keep forgiving him alright? lets gently help him take of the mask :) lets accept all of him- not just his weakness but his wrongdoings#and then lets frolic in fields with him forever âĄ#PLEASE tell me if i made typos. my typing is getting worse and worse i swear...........
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Hi. I've calmed down a bit, and I think it's better if I just take a break from Tumblr for a while. Right now, I don't feel the fandom to be the same chill and safe space as I felt it to be, so I'd rather take some time until I can feel comfortable again with posting. All my side blogs will be on hiatus too. I'm terribly sorry for any discomfort this may cause.
A deep, wholehearted thank you to anyone who reached out in the last hours in replies, asks and dms to share their support and love. Seriously, you can't imagine how much it meant to me, how meaningful every single message I got was to me. Yesterday I was really believing my blog didn't bring anything but negativity and hatred to the community; thank you for reaching out to tell me I was able to share a little happiness, too. Words cannot express how indebted I am to you; you made me feel again like the posting I made on my blog was worth it, for you alone.
I don't think I'll deactivate for the time being. The temptation is still very strong, but I've poured so much time and dedication and love on this blog, I don't think it'd be fair to delete it. I hope in the future there'll still be people who my posts can make happy.
Lastly, I want to apologize once again to the people for whom my posts evoked so many negative sentiments. I know it's impossible to avoid, but I'm still sorry that happened. I apologize to you.
Please, be kind to each other. Make some ss/kk posts on my behalf while I'm away :)
#I'm sad because in one year and four whole months I never skipped a day on aktgw-daily. And it was only 12 days till the 1000th Akutagawa.#I've been thinking about what to do to celebrate for forever.#And I'm sorry I won't be rewatching da with everyone. I was really looking forward to it so so much.#Worst of all the fifth guidebook came in the mail today. I was so excited to share it with everyone#But hey maybe now I'll be able to take some time to finally comment the fics I've been meaning to for so long :')#Hopefully I'll be back soon! Wait for me please. Think of Akutagawa for me#random rambles#And finally sorry for not being able to handle this more maturely. Please forgive me
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the prevalence of "yes or no" in The Locked Tomb Series
bonus!:
#forgive me. i love pash. i couldn't not include her.#tlt#the locked tomb#fuck off lou#my post#parallels#tlt meta#htn#ntn#gtn#harrow the ninth#gideon the ninth#nona the ninth#im just intrigued by the fact that there's no instances with a right choice#if gideon says no she's stuck on the ninth. if she says yes she dies at canaan house#if harrow says yes she eats gideon's soul. if she says no she damns her own#john's taking away U and T's past identities and fleshing them over later w a nicer exterior#or he's desecrating someone's children#nona doesn't know what she'd be disagreeing or agreeing with#camilla dies apart from pal and they depart unknowing into the river. or their souls are destroyed and remade together. forever#the horrors of love making the more grotesque of two evils look more inviting#anyway
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i kinda hate seeing people say bakugo should face consequences for his bullying of izuku like. his consequences are his unending guilt, his fear he will never catch up to izuku, his fear that izuku will leave him behind, that is his consequence. its forever having to know that nothing he does will take away the pain and suffering he caused the most important person in his life. his consequence is dying in order to try to bridge the gap between them. his consequence is always regretting not taking his hand, not allowing himself to fully appreciate izukus warmth until maybe its too late. his consequence is spending eight (8!) years without him by his side, without him to compete against. his consequence is forever having imposter syndrome. not truly thinking he is a good enough person to be a hero. his consequence is being friends with todoroki and witnessing endeavors fall from fame due to his ego. witnessing him losing his family because of his choices. its having to witness a nickname given to izuku in childhood that was meant to hurt, to bruise, turn into the worlds greatest hero name and knowing all he contributed to it was spite.
THATS his consequence not whatever fuckass social shaming you think he deserves.
#like PLEASE did we read the same manga? watch the same show?#you dont get him like i get him i stg#deku forgave him#deku always forgives him#thats like#their whole thing#deku would forever follow katsuki without even having to ask and katsuki will forever bite the hand that feeds him#he doesnt know how not to#it takes eight years of being on his own for him to grow enough to be able to extend a hand to izuku#like cmon people#the parallels between katsuki and endeavor were SPOON FED to you#how can you sit here and claim he needs to punishment for his actions#katsukis entire arc is his atonement#everything he does is for izuku#stepping off my soap box ig but it really really irks me man#just say you dont understand him and move on#katsuki bakugou#izuku midoriya#bnha#my hero academia#bkdk#bakudeku
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posted some Rosalie and Andrew yesterday, let's dive into Rosalie and Emily
childhood besties turned polar opposites
Andrew knows her best, but Emily was here first
The swell and dip of her voice fills the air like a familiar song on a new playlist. I can almost pretend that weâre eight years old again, waiting for my dad to drive us to softball practice. Weâll sit in the outfield and pull up grass. A ladybug will crawl on her thigh, and sheâll scream until I nudge it to crawl onto my finger. Itâll fly away. Weâll watch it go. âEm,â I say, interrupting her prattling. She looks up, lashes fluttering around ice-blue eyes. âDid you win?â âHm?â âHomecoming queen. I didnât hear the announcement.â âOh.â She fusses with the worn hem of her shirt. âYeah. I did.â
botrd taglist!
@vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @autism-purgatory @rosesonneptune @cartoonghosts @dyrewrites
@whoevenknowswhatimwriting @jev-urisk @mrbexwrites
everything taglist!
@saturnine-saturneight @gioiaalbanoart @tragedycoded @sableglass @the-golden-comet
@wyked-ao3
#burden of the reluctant death#andrew dies on homecoming night btw. so this is right after#i could ramble about their friendship forever#can we talk about the fact that andrew came along and basically stole emily's best friend#and emily spent YEARS pretending that it didnt hurt#trying to join in on their inside jokes trying to hang on to what she and rose had when things were simple#and then after andrew dies it's just. immediate forgiveness. ill take care of you. ill be here. im still here#rose is emily's andrew#let me stop before i get into spoiler territory
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Updates:
I decided to redraw the frames on normal procreate as well as finish the rest of the frames on there as well and transfer them over onto dreams to edit into the animatic.
Itâll take some time but thereâs no deadlines for this so Iâll take my time with it!
#when it comes to me and animatics#they usually take me FOREVER to get done#so please forgive me if this takes a while#I am determined to finish it tho!#as well as the other one Iâm working on for my OC!#ace attorney#maya fey#franmaya#work in progress#wip#my artwork#queenyv#video
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Your kitty looks like my kitty!! Tabby solidarity â¨
#pandora is a good gorl#my cat#pandora#asks#cats#i travel for work so sometimes i get asks and they take me forever to answer bc adhd brain gets me#so forgive any slow ask response times!
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OK I've got one for Huntsman.
You're able to track through scent and a keen eye for tracks in various terrains. Have you ever tracked big game, like say...a moose? And if you did, have you kept anything as souvenir like the horns?
~ Princess Anon (đ¸)
I always say "Morning" because if it was a good morning I would be Hunting
#lego monkie kid#lmk#lmk huntsman#lmk syntax#dear beloved followers.... pls forgive me 4 taking a while to do these i have school and such :(#also writing is really needlessly difficult for me. ah#sorry if this is..... not that good. this ask did give me the vivid image of#a deer into the caves at like 4 in the morning awakening syntax from their precious beauty sleep#goliath is also tagging along with him not to stop him or anything but to make sure he didnt hurt himself (and also cuz hes. an enabler/j)#and syntax just being sooo salty about that particular incident forever<3#speaking of#animal death#tw animal death#<- thats there for good measure#i do think Huntsman kills things. (reasonably. mostly.) bc i think it would be funny.#i meant to write something in there about him always searching for something bigger. like to hunt. ah!! i forgot#oh well ive already drawn everything im too sillg#enjoy. i may draw something else to go along with this one... stay tuned#UGH CORRECTION#*IT GAVE ME A VIVID IMAGE OF HUNTSMAN DRAGGING A DEER INTO THE CAVES
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flashtag â¨ignoredâ¨
#funniest scene hands d o w n get ignored haruki#yakimochi no kotae prologue was comedy gold i loved almost every moment of it#i forgive them for not having a mochiaka focus anime bc lord knows theyâd have been butchered to the point of no return#mochiaka are truly the cutest couple in gen 1. bonus for both of them being very cute in their own rights#akarin is very conventional cute and mochita is the awkward cute type aaaaaaa theyâre both so cute!!!!!!#akarin taking notice of mochita at the entrance ceremony got me auauauauuaaaaaaa#and the way mochitaâs naturally yet awkwardly kind!!!! auuuuyuuahdhdufhhdd#the train scene!!! a nd his reaction to the misunderstanding that akarin had feelings for haruki!!!!!!#âyes my heartâs broken rn bc my crush likes someone else b u t sheâs hurting from what happened earlier so i gotta cheer her up!!!!â#heâs so. aaaaaaaaa congrats akarin youâve landed a truly nice guy#i want them to be happy forever. shinumade darling fr#the enomoto-setogucci scenes were funny too though#hina going âyeah kotaroâs never getting a gf lolâ w ell guess whoâs laughing now enomoto hinaâ#yakimochi no kotae prologue was truly life changing. i shouldâve read it sooner
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Hey if anyone wants to check out Moving Pictures Redrawn [a fan-made remake of the first chapter of BATIM that Mike n Meatly may have ordered to be taken down? It's unsure at the moment] Guess who downloaded a copy before they did that~
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#honestly if they did order the take down um lmao tbh#I guess Id do the same it must be embarrassing for a fan to make a better game than you did literally improved your damn#flagship title bc it fucking sucks#but yeah in the name of preserving this piece of art this person mustve spent forever making hmu if u wanna download it <3<3#its genuinely so cool I hope it turns out someone was posing as the bendy devs bc like this is so awesome#to have it taken down just feels so shitty#idc if its just a better batim if I could fucking sue Meatly n Mike for selling me a piece of shit of a game#thats not fun to play buggy as hell and has some of the worst storytelling ive ever seen#then took this down bc actually we cant let ppl play chapter 1 for free anymore ugh its just salt in the wound of how shitty they r#this remake is so cool I cant believe I got it to run on my computer#the way they redesigned the general areas is so damn cool too this is genuinely such an improvement and meatly n mike should be fucking#begging on their knees for the fans to forgive them if they did take this down fuck them so so much#mike literally has flaunted his fucking wealth in the past do we really think he needs the extra 20 bucks from some poor soul#buying his elaborate scam of a game that has a broken save system really? Does he need that money? No the fuck he doesnt#ramblez
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having thoughts about louis de pointe du lac. (as one does)
how lestat once told him he was never cruel. how he's been having these petty, cruel moments in dubai. how he was absolutely vicious in that fight with armand from san francisco in 73. then thinking about this passage from the iwtv book that louis says to armand:
"You showed me the only thing that I could really hope to become, what depth of evil, what degree of coldness I would have to attain to end my pain. And I accepted that. And so that passion, that love you saw in me, was extinguished. And you see now simply a mirror of yourself."
#iwtv s2 rambling#like i have more thoughts#but they delve into loustat vs loumand#not in a which is better sort of way#just a sort of compare/contrast of them in regards to louis#but i know this fandom gets a little crazy with the shipping#and i don't want it to be read as me supporting one over the other#if this was not the show full of fucked up relationships#and if louis had slightly better taste in men then he does#i'd say louis needs to gtfo and be done with both of them#for a few decades at least. send him on a sabbatical to 'find himself' or some shit#and like eventually he can forgive them bc he has the rest of eternity. and when you live forever you can take all the time you need#but also the vampire community is pretty small. so it's like of course these people aren't going to ever 100% turn their back on each othe#bc essentially that's your family. your people. you can try to be human but you aren't and never will be#these people are monsters like you are a monster and they're the only ones who can fully understand what it means to be what you are
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Would love to hear your thoughts on Glitter & Crimson. Itâs about Jalex isnât it
I really gotta stop mentioning things I'm afraid people will latch onto. Sigh. But tbh, I've been wanting an excuse to use my English teacher knowledge to analyze the shit out of that song in particular. If you took an AP English class, you know that it's 90% bullshitting you're way through claims and that is absolutely why I am who I am. This is so fucking long, dude.
I spent an embarrassing amount of time on this. Like I literally printed out the lyrics and annotated it like I was in college. But this is my shit, yâall. I love to analyze things. So, thereâs a few different ways that I went about this: what the literary devices mean vs. what Alex (the liar) says the song means vs. the Jalex conspiracy theories that keep me in Delululand. Please scroll on if you donât want to read about me being delusional about Jalex. Also, the very, very last of this is where we get into the absolute most delusional theory I have, so scroll to the bottom if thatâs all you want.Â
Letâs start off with what Alex has said about the song so that it can provide us at least a little context. Alex told Apple Music: âTo me, this song is about two characters who are deeply in love, whose love is not allowed to be that by [a certain] society. Theyâre gay, and they donât feel like theyâre accepted in their own skin for who they are, or for who they want to love. Itâs a cry out to seize that power back and saying, âNo. You donât get to dictate how we live our lives.â Obviously, I canât speak to that, being a straight guy, but I know a lot of people who live that experience every day. And it was something that felt very meaningful that I wanted to address for them because they canât [in this way]. They arenât songwriters.â This is less helpful context-wise, but he also told Kerrang: âThis was dramatic to record (laughs). It was one of the last songs we wrote â in fact, it might have been the very last one. The record was almost done, but I felt like there were a couple of missing pieces. We actually went out to Big Bear [Lake, in California] â me, Jack, Zakk and Andrew. We rented a cabin and locked ourselves away for a minute. As we recorded Glitter & Crimson, it was one of those moments where we went, âOh, thank god! Weâve got the thing that we were missing!â I think the performance in the bridge is me almost knowing that it was the last take. Itâs like when the director is about to call, âThatâs a wrap!â and everybody is like, âHoly shit!â You feel that swell of relief and appreciation for getting through it.â
Most importantly, during the Wake Up, Sunshine Twitch Listening Party, Alex literally says he wrote G & C about Jack (starts at 1:36:26). Idc if he's joking, bro. It's good enough for me.
I guess the best way to go about the analysis is just to go lyric-by-lyric. Then, Iâll go a bit deeper into more of the bigger symbols. I want to preface this by saying that Alex probably did not mean for a lot of these things to mean what Iâve interpreted them to mean. And when I say I interpreted them, I mainly mean that I took what was given to me and recalled the connotations that these words carry (that was so wordy; idek if that made sense).Â
Itâs a typical story, three in the morning
Youâre holding my head.Â
To me, this seems fairly literal. Sitting with another person at 3 in the morning with them holding your head is really intimate. It could be after sex or just an intense conversation. I think that this is one of the lines that points toward this song being about a gay couple the most. I know he doesnât specify what gender the couple is, but since Alex simply cannot write a song without inserting himself, Iâm guessing theyâre dudes. The holding my head kind of gives off that vibe to me, too. Anyone can hold anyoneâs head, of course, but something about it just gives me the image of a guy holding a guyâs head. No matter how you spin it (head on the shoulder, head on the lap, etc.) it is super intimate, which means that this is a situation between two people who are very close. Itâs vulnerable, too. Thereâs also the idiom âto hold something over someoneâs head,â but I do think that the meaning here is literal. The idiom doesnât make sense here. We gotta remember that Jack and Alex (and Zakk and Andrew) wrote this song together at a lake house. Every time I hear the opening lines, I think about Jack and Alex being together at 3 am in the lake house in one of those bedrooms, Jack holding Alexâs head. đĽşÂ
Caught in the tension, silent confessions
At the foot of your bed
The tension line could be in reference to the relationship, which we know is not accepted by those around them. It could also just be another reference to sex lol. Iâm leaning more toward the former, though. I think the silent confessions depend on where the couple is at in their relationship. If theyâre established, I think itâs probably a confession of love (like, weâve been seeing each other, but Iâm actually in love with you). But if itâs in the very early stages, the confession could be the confession of feelings. These two people are really close, so if theyâre not yet a couple, then theyâre definitely best friends. âAt the foot of your bedâ makes me think about sex again lol (specifically head becauseâŚYeah).Â
Glitter and crimson, fighting the friction
What a perfect mess
Glitter and crimson are massive metaphors/symbols in this song, so Iâm going to hold off on going too far into that just yet. For now, we can discuss how the two are contrasting. Glitter is pretty and can symbolize the beautiful things in life (it can symbolize a lot of other things, too, which we will get to, promise). Crimson, on the other hand, often represents blood and violence (and a lot of other things, too), so this is one of the first instances of conflicting ideas and feelings. The two ideas come together despite being opposites. âFighting the frictionâ could be another reference to tension, whether itâs conflict brought about because of societal pressure, or sexual tension. It could even be both.Â
While I know that Alex definitely wasnât trying to reference pride or the history of it, the mention of glitter was an excellent way of doing so. Glitter has a rich history with the LGBT community. It is tied with queer nightlife and the performance arts of drag, burlesque, and cabaret. In the past, it was a way to signal queer identity to other queer people, a practice that some people use to this day. It was also used as a kind of beauty and/or gender defiance when men were ostracized for presenting femininely and women were ostracized for presenting masculinely (Dorwart). Overall, glitter can also symbolize fakeness, materialism, greed, treasure, and excitement. In the instance of the lyric, I tend to think that the glitter is representative of the beauty of the situation, but also having to hide the relationship (the âcharactersâ are being fake by hiding their relationship.Â
While crimson can symbolize blood, violence, anger, warning or revenge (which is what I believe its main purpose is with the lyric), it can also represent vigor, passion, love, and courage. I definitely think that love and passion are an important part of this, too. Every facet of this relationship is intense, whether it be a negative or positive thing. This is also hedging into Delululand, but crimson (itâs called red in the flag, but the shade is definitely crimson) was one of the colors of the original pride flag, representing life. Iâm certain that Alex was not thinking of the pride flag when he wrote this song, but there are so many references that he did accidentally that this song could be a gay anthem tbh.Â
With the âperfect messâ line, Alex has given us an oxymoron and another example of contrast. The two words are technically opposites, but when they come together, they create a new meaning. In the narrative, this refers to the relationship feeling so good and right to the guys, but not allowed by society, those around them, and even maybe themselves. If we look at it through a Jalex lens, the âmessâ could easily be the conflict between them having feelings for one another and the pressures of the band and their friendship (a very classic fanfic trope for a good reason). Thereâs a lot to lose if things donât work out, so thereâs a very real question of whether pursuing a relationship is worth it. As weâll get to later, it definitely seems like it is to them.Â
I wonder if you feel kinda like I feel
Temporary
These lines feel fairly literal to me. To feel temporary means to feel impermanent or uncertain. I think that both could be prevalent here. I also think that those feelings pertain to both the relationship and just their lives in general. It feels like the relationship canât last because thatâs what society tells them, and the uncertainty comes from not knowing if they even want it to (because they too are influenced by society). Alex has always written a lot about existentialism and these two lines strongly evoke that concept (which, to me, is more proof of the song being written from his perspective vs some âcharacterâ but weâll get into more instances of that later).Â
Fixed on a moment just out of focus
And we canât quite seeÂ
Being us ainât good for us
I put these three lines together because they finish out the first verse and because there is significant enjambment, too. The first line is literal in the sense that the two characters (air quotes) in the song are trying to imagine what a good life together could be like, but theyâre struggling too because that future seems so impossible (as we see with the second line). However, âand we canât quite seeâ also brings into the second idea here. They canât see the future and it also seems like being themselves and together isnât good for them (probably because itâs dangerous for a lot of queer people in the world, even still). That leads us into the chorus, which is where we get to the cry out of the chorus.Â
And I donât wanna wait till the sunshine fades
And bury our love in a shallow graveÂ
Sunshinesymbolized happiness and life, so by the sunshine fading, that has to do with the beauty and goodness of the relationship wearing off (whether that be due to societal pushback or just conflict between the two guys). Sunshine is also what the yellow represented on the original pride flag. Again, I do not think that Alex ever intentionally referenced the flag, butâŚAnyway, it could also just be a little wink to the album itself âWake Up Sunshineâ or the song on the album. That song is also about existentialism to a certain extent, though itâs directed toward someone else and not about the narratorâs issues with it. Meanwhile, typically, shallow graves are done hastily by criminals (not always, but thatâs what it is most associated with) because they donât take much time or effort to dig. Alex (and Jack; Jesus, I keep forgetting he helped write this song) probably chose to pair these two lines because they almost have the same amount of syllables (11 vs. 10), but itâs also possible that he chose this specific phrase because being gay was a criminal offense for years. A shallow grave also indicates urgency and haphazardness, which would mean that the burial would probably be unplanned and quick. The narrator (Alex) is clear about not wanting that.Â
Cause the world could be cruel to us or
We could live for the dangerous so
Letâs start, letâs start a riot
Just like a few lines ago, I included these three together for the enjambment. The first line is straightforward, supporting the idea of society being unaccepting to the couple. When we put it with the second line, itâs reiterating that though the world is cruel, they could live for it instead of being afraid of it. When we pair the second line with the third, the narrator is saying that he wants to stop being afraid and instead embrace and fight for what he and his lover have. It is impossible for me to ignore the term âriotâ being used here in a queer context because the first pride was a riot! Iâm sure most of you know about the Stonewall riots, but if not, hereâs a bit of background: there was a small dive bar in NYC called the Stonewall Inn, which LGBT+ frequented. In an article entitled "The First Pride Was a Riot: The Origins of Pride Monthâ for American University Washington DC, Patty Housman writes:Â
 At the time there existed outdated âmasqueradeâ or âcross-dressingâ laws that suggested a âmanâ or a âwomanâ must be wearing a certain number of clothing items that matched the gender on their state-issued ID. The police took advantage of these laws to raid drinking establishments and arrest transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. Just after midnight on June 28, 1969, the police raided the Stonewall Inn like they had many times before. Only, this time, something unusual happened: Stonewall patrons fought back.
There are conflicting stories about what actually happened, but essentially queer people fought back against the police brutality that had been plaguing them for quite some time. They were targeted, attacked, humiliated, arrested, and even worse, and they were fed up. Since this event took place in June, we now celebrate in America every June. And again, Iâm sure that Alex and Jack didnât intend to reference Stonewall, but Iâm deep into queer theory now, so thereâs no going back. Sometimes meanings can appear in works without the original composer even realizing it. Long story short, the riot is a way to take power back, whether it be the metaphorical riot in this song or the proverbial riots at Stonewall. And since this is supposed to be a queer song that references a riot, Stonewall must be discussed.Â
Hard to sit still when your headâs on fireÂ
Oh, oh yeah
The saying âmy headâs on fireâ means that one is stressed or overwhelmed. However, âyour headâs on fireâ indicates that someone is lying. Therefore, I think this line has a dual meaning. I think that it references both here because a) the narrator is frustrated with having to hide his love from society, but it can also indicate that theyâve been lying (i.e, hiding their relationship). âHard to sit stillâ calls back to the riot idea. It can be difficult to sit idly by when you know for sure that something is wrong. The narrator is tired of sitting around and hiding their relationship.Â
âCause Iâm a supernovaÂ
And youâre my four leaf clover
These two symbols are the most important (besides glitter and crimson) in the entire song. This is entirely metaphor; thereâs nothing literal in these two lines. The narrator compares himself to a supernova, which is the greatest explosion humans have ever seen. They are the âextremely bright and super powerful explosion of a star.â Supernovas signify destruction and renewal, so the narrator is seeking a new beginning of some sort. On the other hand, four-leaf clover have always symbolized luck, but they can also represent protection and the uncommon. Traditionally, each leaf of a four leaf clover signified something different: hope, faith, luck, and charity. Therefore, the narrator sees his lover as somewhat of a good luck charm. Heâs different from others, but heâs everything to the narrator.Â
This is where I get the most Delulu, so just keep that in mind as youâre reading. Iâm now going to argue that the supernova represents Alex and the four-leaf clover represents Jack. Iâm not pulling this completely out of my ass, I promise. Alex is obsessed with space. He brings it up every chance he gets and if you listened to Full Frontal, you know how annoying it could get lmao. Point is, the man loves some fucking space, okay? To Alex, Jack has always represented goodness. Nothing sums it up better than his birthday post for him here. He literally sees him as a âbright light in this weird worldâ and loves him âtimes a million.â But thereâs been countless instances of Alex singing Jackâs praises (and even more of Jack singing Alexâs). This last tour, Jackâs been spending every moment trying to make Alex happy and keep him laughing, and ya know, Alex can lie all he wants and say that âKill Ur Vibeâ isnât about Jack, but it absolutely fucking is, even if he doesnât know that. Alex sees himself as a supernova and Jack as a four-leaf clover. Jack is not only a rarity, but also just a constant sign of goodness in Alexâs life and that, my dudes, is fucking beautiful.Â
There is also a specific species of clover called crimson clover. I doubt that Alex thought about this while they were writing this song, but when I started working on this analysis, it occurred to me that Iâd heard the two phrases before in a Lana del Rey song. And if you guys know Jack, he loves Lana. In âVenice Bitch,â she has a line that says, âMe myself, I like diamonds//My baby crimson and clover.â This line is a reference to the song âCrimson & Cloverâ by Tommy James and the Shondells. Itâs a song about the potential for loving someone and what a relationship could be. I donât know if there was any thinking about this song during the writing of G & C, but itâs interesting how the two songs are essentially about the same thing (just in different contexts). G & C is about the potential for loving someone and what a relationship could be, but through a more cynical lens (at first). The use of the ampersand in both songs is curious, too. I donât doubt that Alex is aware of this song, but I donât know that it had much of an influence on it. I do love the idea that Alex wrote about crimson and clover in the same song for Jack (who loves Lana) or even that it was Jackâs idea in the first place. Itâs just cute.Â
Crimson clover doesnât have a ton of ideas associated it with it, but some people tend to see it as a sign of growth, resilience, love, and affection. The latter two are probably related to it being red and I would assume that the Tommy James and the Shondells song helped with that connotation, too. Itâs the growth and resilience that really intrigues me, though. They grow throughout the winter, which is fascinating and definitely lets that resilience ring true. If weâre to link those concepts to the song, the narrator believes that their relationship is resilient and growing, maturing in a way that it necessary for them to thrive. Winter can symbolize hard, rough times, and so the narrator views their relationship as troubled (whether it be because of the way theyâre viewed or because of their own issues), but resilient and able to survive the difficult times.Â
Time to stop being insane about the last two lines and get into the second verse and bridge.Â
Heavy as ever, light as a featherÂ
Iâm caught in between
âLight as a featherâ is a common idiom (and synonym) for having very light weight and/or being light and free. Here, the narrator is contrasting the feeling of being free and light because theyâre so happy with their lover with the fact that he also feels âheavy,â which means hard to endure or emotionally taxing. When used literally, heavy refers to something being hard to carry because of its weight. So while the narrator is happy, he is also sad and probably anxious and unsure because of the oppression he and his lover are facing. The second line is telling us that verbatim; he is torn between focusing on being happy with his lover and the negative feelings associated with their sexualities and relationship.Â
Hard to stay focused, process the progress
How long can we be
Happy if happy ainât meant for usÂ
This calls back to the lines before it. Again, itâs hard for the narrator to focus on how happy the relationship makes him because of how bad society and oppression makes him feel. âProcess the progressâ probably means that itâs difficult for him to focus on how much their relationship has grown because of how anxious he also is. Progress is also a term used frequently with LGBTQ+ issues. We use âprogressâ to describe how things have improved for queer folks in the last few decades. I think the narrator could be referring to that, as well, that itâs hard to look at how much progress has been made as a society when things are still bad (especially for trans folks). The second and third lines see the narrator expressing his anxiety again. Yes, heâs very happy with his lover, but society is constantly telling him that they wonât work out, and heâs worried that some part of that is right.
Cause being less ainât good enough
But being us feels good to us
To be less means not as good or esteemed as someone else. In this sense, I take it as the narrator saying that he has been suppressing part of himself (his sexuality and relationship), since to suppress part of yourself makes you âless,â in a way (I hope that makes sense). Essentially, if youâre not presenting all of yourself, part of you is missing, hence âless.â The narrator says that being less isnât good enough, which I take as meaning that not being their full, authentic selves is not enough, and by enough, he means he doesnât want to settle for hiding their relationship in the way that they have been. And besides, with the line, âbeing us feels good to us,â the narrator is expressing that being with his lover feels right despite all of the anxiety he feels.Â
Iâm skipping the chorus, obviously, so letâs get into the bridge.Â
No compromise, no second best
Thereâs no stopping now, this weight on my chest
This is the beginning of the cry out in which the couple takes their power back. No compromise means no more suppressing themselves, which reminds me a lot of the old idea of gay people being allowed to exist and be with their partners at home and in LGBT+ spaces, but nowhere else. The narrator is saying that heâs not doing this anymore. This could be what âsecond bestâ is, whereas the best situation would be where they are accepted and allowed to be themselves everywhere, though I do wonder if second best could also refer to the concept of âplaying straight,â which is where queer people date only people of the opposite sex in order to fit societal norms. People have historically done this to stay alive. Itâs not as common anymore, but itâs definitely something that still happens. This could be a reference to the men dating (or even marrying) women in order to hide their sexuality and not ruffle societyâs feathers.Â
The narrator is putting an end to whatever the compromise and second best are, though. Heâs going to be open and honest with himself, his lover, and the world, and thatâs what the âno stopping nowâ refers to. Heâs done pretending and making himself lesser to make other people comfortable. âThe weight on my chestâ is the huge uncertainty and anxiety of his relationship. Heâs getting rid of it. It could also be anticipation, though, which would be the anticipation of taking his power back. Itâs an important, hard thing that is going to change the course of his life forever.Â
I wonât settle down, wonât settle for less
I wonât settle for less, I wonât settle for less
I think this is pretty literal. The narrator is not going to sit down and be quiet (and thus, hide his authentic self), and heâs not going to settle for anything but being his authentic self. I do think that the âwonât settle downâ could be read as an allusion to Stonewall, since the queer folks that protested those three days were constantly told to just calm down for many years before they finally fought back. âSettle downâ could also be a reference to playing straight since settling down often entails getting married to someone of the opposite sex and having children (*I look into the camera like Iâm on a mockumentary*). This could also mean that the narrator is not going to be with a woman to appease society. They utilize parallelism (and thusly, repetition) here. Repetition is almost always utilized to emphasize a feeling or idea, create rhythm, and/or develop a sense of urgency. I definitely believe that the use of repetition here is used for emphasis. Not settling is an important theme of the song. Parallelism is also used to create emphasis, but also to create flow between lines, which is always necessary for songs. Iâm sure thereâs probably more literary devices in the song, but I doubt you guys want me to go too much farther into that lol.Â
To sum up, the song is rich with metaphors and allusions (even if Alex wasnât aware of the latter when they were writing it). I think it has the potential of being a great queer anthem. I donât know that it will ever become that, but all of these possible references to pride and Stonewall are so fucking good (even if itâs just from happenstance). This may make me totally fucking insane, but I canât ignore the fact that Alex wrote this song with Jack at a cabin in Big Bear, the album was released, and then like eight months later, Alex and Lisa were split up. Then, like another month passed, and Alex was living with Jack. Iâm aware that Iâm delusional, but this isnât even me speculating; Iâm just reporting events in the order they happened. Take that as you will.Â
Works CitedÂ
Dorwart, Laura. âInside the Fascinating History of Glitter and Gay Culture.â Byrdie, 15 February 2022. https://www.byrdie.com/history-of-glitter.
Patty Housman. âThe First Pride Was a Riot: The Origins of Pride Month.â American University Washington D.C.,10 June 2022.Â
âWhat Is a Supernova?â NASA, NASA, 23 July 2021, spaceplace.nasa.gov/supernova/en/.Â
#please forgive me for taking forever#also this is not proofread bc like#i'm lazy#anyway? i hope y'all can get some kind of enjoyment out of this?#kalina answers#jalex#jack#alex#glitter & crimson#wake up sunshine
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To be fair kidnapping Chay wasn't Vegas's fucking plan, Tawan is just insane. Agreed though I think Kim and Porsche are decent in-laws
I know it was left a little vague, but in canon, Tawan went off Vegasâs plan by accelerating it.
Vegas and Porsche make a plan to pick up Chay the next day so he can join the two of them on the run. while that itself wouldnât be kidnapping, Vegasâs entire plan was to. yâknow. frame Porsche as a sell-out and kill him and Chay to cover it up. kidnapping Chay and holding him hostage is still part of that plan, it was still going to happenâTawan ruined it by kidnapping Chay before Vegas could.
also, even if it wasnât, Tawan kidnapping Chay in the first place was to help Vegas. this doesnât necessarily put that blame directly on Vegas, but who the fuck would blame Porsche if he were really fucking pissed at Vegas for it anyways? bros donât kidnap other bros little brothers, not even tangentially >:(
but Porsche doesnât hold it against Vegas! he mightâve let it go because of unusual circumstances and how he was short of options at the time, but Porsche overall has astronomical reserves for forgiveness. he quietly works through his feelings when heâs upset with people and usually comes out the other end having forgiven themâsee Arthee, see Kinn, see Vegas, hell even see Khun! the only person he doesnât forgive is Korn (who killed his father, kidnapped his mother, forced him into the mafia, and fucking more) (fuck Korn). getting back to my pointâPorsche doesnât hold grudges against people, and he most certainly is going to start with Kim.
Porsche just plain isnât going to hate Kim for any of the mafia shit, or even anything that went down in Kim and Chayâs canon relationship. theyâre dumdums in love, but Porsche will let them sort it out themselves (may I remind people that Porsche only punched Vegas once for KIDNAPPING AND TORTURING HIS FRIEND even while also giving him the chance to talk shit out with PeteâChay might be more of a hot button than Pete, but Kim only hurt Chayâs feelings and ran away, Porsche is not so irrational). sorry nonny, I did not mean to go off on a rant here, but I despise this trope where Porsche hates on Kim because it:
a) completely disregards who he is in canon and massively distorts Porscheâs character into this irrational piece of shit hypocrite
b) overrules Chayâs feelings/choices/decisions just so the author can be mean to Kim
c) Porscheâs gaydar got replaced with a nongdar. the only person who adopts more little brothers than Porsche is TankhunâPorsche 100% sees angry little bitch Kim and goes free brother! without stopping to ask permission
#kinnporsche#i swear Iâm not mad or annoyed at you anon!#i just rly rly RLY hate this trope and thinking about it makes me rant-y đ
#anyways porsche adores kim I will beat this drum forever#and eventually write feral raccoon duo AU#EVENTUALLY#i deleted this part of the rant but the other facet I hate in this trope is that *grabs soapbox*#Chay doesnât hate nor blame Kim for the mafia shit#but heâs absolutely pissed at EVERYONE ELSE for it#Porsche left him to join the mafia#Vegas embroils him into mafia plots#Kinn keeps Porsche in the mafia#Khunâs coping mechanisms seem callous and cruel at first glance#itâs going to take A LOT OF WORK for Chay to be okay with any of them#the only one heâs willing to forgive right away is Porsche and thatâs only because he cares about Porsche more than anyone else in the world#but the mafia still puts a strain on their relationship#i have many feelings about Chayâs relationship with the mafia#maybe even as many as I have for Porsche & Kim
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