#For like two seconds

[notacluedo]

aaron minyard certified academic weapon

[peach-flavored-cyanide]

you guys want some shittily drawn angst of course you do

[imma-triple-a-battery]

bonus:

saw this on @mha-quotes-and-such and just had to draw it

[mesopelagos]

3 guesses as to my favorite faction and the first two don't count

[bestworstcase]

In general I'm far more partial to your thoughts on whatever Ruby & Yang's dad is up to than the fanon-consensus fall vault guard angle, though I do wonder about, say: Oz having the crown stashed somewhere outside said vault so whomever else is in on this could play keep-away with it. Of course that has no shortage of logistical drawbacks, though Raven sort of rejoining the fold does open up handy rapid-evac options so long as Salem doesn't catch her directly. Still, the 'dragon dad has totes noble rational Reasons, not that deep' conclusion does seem damn simplistic.

tbh i think the fanon presumption that tai MUST be guarding the crown is equal parts

1. the fandom completely failing to engage seriously with the (very obvious by now) factor of summer rose being alive – by which i mean, a huge swath of the fandom has grokked she’s still around in some capacity and treats this as little more than a trivial detail meant to twist the knife for ruby (and to a lesser extent, yang) in a shocking way, rather than, you know, the load-bearing pillar it clearly is in this given how her fate has been one of the central narrative questions since the beginning. which is to say that i think a lot of people are just brushing past the possibility that tai’s absence in vacuo is directly related to summer being at beacon, because they’ve either not added two and two to figure out where she is or they have but don’t consider that to be salient to the question of tai’s motives.

and

2. kneejerk backlash to the cyclical tai parenting discourse, with people who read him as a decent-to-good father getting defensive in reaction to the discussions that circulated after B4 revealed that his whereabouts are more or less unknown. it does in fact look Really Bad for tai to not be in vacuo for unclear reasons! which is why the subset of fans who read him as a good parent were predisposed to assume that he has a justifiable, crucial reason to stay in vale, namely guarding the crown. and then any other speculation on the subject of why he isn’t in vacuo was instantly conflated with the tai-is-neglectful reading and thence dismissed out of hand as "character bashing."

eyeroll. the point being, i think this defensive reflex toward tai resulted in a lot of people circling the wagons around the first snap assumption they made even though tai guarding the crown doesn’t make a whole lot of sense even if one accepts the fanon presupposition that he’s The Best Dad.

because he quit working for ozpin after summer disappeared (and to judge by the 9.10 flashback, didn’t have much respect for oz before that!) – we know this because,

it’s a notable enough change for ruby to comment on it when tai starts going on missions again; he’s been off active huntsman duty for over a decade, meaning he wasn’t taking any assignments from oz during this time (which is a point in his favor re: the question of his parenting and i think it’s really funny that people in the “good dad” camp were the loudest voices pointing out that tai clearly wants nothing to do with ozpin right up until the boba incident)

ruby and yang had no idea that ozpin had any particular connection to their family beyond having been headmaster when their parents were in school; they didn’t even know that qrow worked for him. tai kept him so much at arms length that he was just a random public figure to the girls.

tai is explicitly not involved in glynda’s effort to reclaim beacon, nor do port and oobleck seem to have any expectation that he should or will be once yang is back on her feet. they’re his friends, but there is zero professional or collegial relationship.

and frankly after tai watched his team implode and lost not one but two of his loves at least indirectly because of ozpin, why in hell would he want anything to do with that man ever again? did we forget him seething at qrow in v3? did we forget how palpably he wanted to just smack ozpin in IQ? hello?? if we’re starting from “tai is a loving dad who would move mountains for his kids” then i simply do not believe he’d stay in vale while qrow led ruby to round two with salem just because that’s what ozpin’s “in case i die��� plan said he should do. like that’s flat nonsense.

the only way i could even consider that as a possibility with any seriousness is if i were convinced that tai straight up just Didn’t Care That Much about his kids, because that kind of coldly pragmatic decision-making—i’ll let my teenage children fight on the front lines while i putter around home keeping an eye on things for a dead man, because the crown is the most important thing—does not track with a man who gives a shit about his kids.

but i think tai does in fact care a lot about his kids, however dysfunctional the family relations may be, so like

the explanation that makes the most sense to me is that he figured out summer was alive and with salem in some capacity sometime in v2-3 and he’s been torn between the two sides of his family ever since. does he go after ruby or does he try to save summer? <- isn’t that a lot more balanced. a lot more understandable. potentially a lot more sympathetic, depending upon exactly what the circumstances are and how much he’s learned. for him to be Just Some Guy having to choose between His Kids and His Wife?

like?? i firmly believe that if the good-parent-tai crowd hadn’t immediately dismissed every other theory besides dragon-guarding-the-crown as hysterical character bashing then within a few weeks at most someone in that camp would’ve remembered that tai fucking hates ozpin and they would’ve eventually landed on “oh. duh. he’s staying in vale for summer” – because it is both obvious and casts him into a much more tragic, sympathetic light versus the stiff upper lip sorry kids it’s for the greater good crown guard angle.

[bubzterr]

really getting into the ‘raditz came to earth too’ au even tho I’m like 6 years late teehee

bonus

[ryp3004]

Thomas Hunt prided himself on knowing how to handle anything life threw at him. He was a professional. He understood that sometimes things went wrong and you have to adapt. It's a part of life as much as a part of show business. It's one of the things he tries his best to instil in his students, though this particular crop is so hard headed he's surprised they learn anything from him at all.

That being said,

He was not expecting a toddler when he opened his office door. A young student, yes, but not this young.

He looked down at a girl that couldn't be older than five with a confused look. She had long, curly pink hair, bright blue eyes, and, from the looks of it, was missing most of her teeth. She was dressed in a Hollywood U sweatshirt that was far too large for her. They sold kids sizes in the student shop but certainly not toddlers. She was holding a well loved stuffed cow.

"Excuse me." She spoke softly, averting her eyes shyly. "I need help."

Hunt blinked at her.

"Oh?" He said, dumbly though he's loath to admit it. "With what?"

"I can't find my momma..." And, oh no, there are tears welling in her eyes. "Your door says you're a hunter..."

He looks from the plaque on the door that reads 'Prof. Hunt' and back to the little girl.

"Not quite, little one." He places an awkward hand on her head. "But I can help you find your mother."

Her eyes light up and she hugs the cow closer to her. From this angle her eyes take up most of her face.

"Thank you." She says in a practiced tone.

"What is her name?"

"Mom."

Hm.

"Where did you see her last?"

"In the building."

Hmm.

"Do you know which building?"

"Um, it was made of bricks."

Hmmmmmmm.

"Well, do you know your name?"

The little girl nods.

...

...

"May I know your name?"

She gets shy, kicking her feet nervously.

"Momma said I'm not supposed to tell my name to strange old men."

Well, Hunt would hardly consider late 30's old but he digresses. He kneels down in front of her and offers her his hand.

"I'm Tom. I teach at this school. Does your Mom teach here, too?"

The little girl eyes his hand for a moment before tentatively shaking it and then her head.

"No. Momma goes to school here. She lives here, too. I live with Gramma and Grampa." The girl hugs the cow tighter, lip wobbling. "I didn' mean to get lost... I was following the butterfly."

Hunt is scrambling. Internally, of course, he's not going to let this upset toddler see he's freaking out, but the feeling persists nonetheless.

"Well, why don't we look around together? I'm sure she's very worried about you. Here, would you like me to carry you?" He asks, trying to project all of the good will he can muster. It must work because the girl holds her arms up and Hunt scoops her up and places her on his hip.

"Alright, which way should we go first?" He asks, tickling her side softly. Thank God, the girl giggles and the tears leave her eyes. She looks both ways before pointing down the hallway, so Thomas goes that way.

"My name's Ryanne." She says softly into his ear, still clutching her cow.

"That's a very nice name. Tell me, are you here with your mother and father?"

"I don' have a dad."

Okay, not touching that with a ten foot pole.

"Momma brought me here for the weekend. I was with Aunt Addie and Uncle E."

Addie and E? Why does that sound so familiar? It's on the tip of his tongue when Ryanne gently smacks his cheek to get his attention.

"That place! I came from that place!" She points at the student production lot. Most of his students should be there at the moment if they want their assignments to be done on time. This is a good chance to check on their progress and help Ryanne find her mother. He walks into the large building and finds it bustling with activity, students and teaching assistants rushing about.

"There!" She points at the fantasy set at the far end of the lot. From here, he can see several people rushing around, sees that they're yelling but can't quite hear them. "Momma wanted to show me the princess castle."

As he steps closer he can hear the clipped, frantic tone of his most... Difficult student, Rebecca Prince. He doesn't quite see her but he already preemptively rolls his eyes, not eager to deal with whatever distraction she'll pose before he helps Ryanne.

"I hear Momma!" Ryanne wiggles out of his grasp and takes off, Hunt right behind her. They come upon Rebecca gesturing wildly to Ms. Sinclair and Mr. Blake, eyes frantic and panicking.

"I've looked all over the lot, nobody has seen a toddler running around. I just can't believe you guys! I asked you to watch her for two minutes! Two minutes!" Mr. Blake looks guilty and Ms. Sinclair averts her eyes. "We got... Distracted. Ethan got a call... I had to help fix a hem...* Sinclair says lamely. Rebecca goes red in the face, about to snap at her.

"Momma!" Ryanne calls out and Rebecca spins around. She looks like a puppet with its strings cut the way she melts in relief. She quickly drops to her knees and holds Ryanne tightly.

"Jesus Christ, Ry, oh my god, are you okay!?" She pulls back, checking her over with a critical eye. Ryanne giggles as Rebecca, her mother, pokes at her stomach.

"Mhm. Tommy helped me!" That's when Rebecca notices him standing awkwardly to the side. She looks at him for a moment, mouth parted as if to say something before shaking her head and standing, holding onto Ryanne's hand.

"Thank you," Rebecca's eyes are sparkling and Hunt is reminded of the fountains of Versailles as he looks in them. He's about to respond when her eyes and smile turn sharp. "Tommy." She turns to Ryanne and pats her back. "Go apologize to Aunt Addie and Uncle E for running off. They were about to die today." She adds the last part with a glare at her flustered friends and Ryanne happily scampers towards them, the flight and colors of a butterfly already spilling out of her.

Rebecca looks at him for a moment in a way that reminds him of a film critic.

"I didn't know you had a daughter." He says before Rebecca can speak. He sees her eyes widen, a gentle blush adorning her cheeks. "Yeah. She lives with my parents most of the time. Addison and Ethan wanted to meet her and I already finished your project, so I figured this would be a good weekend." She never quite looks away from Ryanne, drinking in the sight of her as the panic slowly dissipates.

"She's very... Polite." He mumbles. Rebecca snorts and Hunt very politely does not point it out, even as the sound replays in his head. "That's all my parents. Trying to make up for their mistakes with me." She rolls her eyes, finally looking at him again. "What a crock of shit, right? I mean, look at me. I'm awesome."

Hunt scoffs. "Hardly. In fact, I'd say you think far too highly of yourself. That's something you'd do well to mind, Ms. Prince. Or is it Mrs.?" What was intended as a playful jab has her bristling and her face becoming stony. "It's Rebecca. Come on, Ryanne, it's nap time." Ryanne nods and bounces over to them before beckoning Hunt closer to her.

He crouches down and is met with a handful of toddler as she hugs him as tightly as she can. "Thank you, Tommy!" She smiles brightly and Hunt feels himself hugging back despite himself. "You're very welcome, Ryanne."

Rebecca picks her up and Ryanne waves at him goodbye over her shoulder, Ms. Sinclair and Mr. Blake following close behind.

What a cute kid.

He'll have to remember to ask after her before class on Monday.

Ask after Rebecca, too.

[hermanunworthy]

okay sorry i dont want this actually happen but. wouldnt it be funny if. after spending that time together in space. hermie was like nvm i like lincoln now

[vegetas-mustache]

Who else knew that Vegebul day is June 9th, aka 6/9? 👋

I forgot until last night, so have a super rushed vegebul fic!

Minors DNI, explicit smut inside.

[trashogram]

Bro there are really people out there that think the Mario movie was queerbaiting Bowser and Luigi.

I s2g this is just a mad house.

[shittlypostedpoetry]

Shove That In Your Dead Faces

I’ve listened to Emerson And I’m not impressed I’ve choked down some Poe And I’m not impressed I’ve suffocated on Irving And I’m not impressed I’m not saying I could do better But we both know that I can Emerson isn’t as open-minded as he says to be Sir, I’m sorry your wife is dead But that’s not on me Poe, Mr. Poe I think you need some therapy Existential crises really aren’t that deep Irving, how should I put this? You put the Sleepy in Sleepy Hollow Stop just describing food, I’d pay for like, a window The classics kinda suck I’m not saying they should be fun But I think they need some help And I’m really glad they’re done Emerson dug up his dead wife to see her after a year Poe married his cousin, I don’t have to say how that’s weird Irving, honestly he’s just that boring and Tom Walker is a loser The classics are boring But Shakespeare’s kinda cool Twelfth Night would be better though if it turned out really gay The classics are boring And enough about the allegories Someone write something interesting That isn’t a rehash of something old For once just say what you mean Communication is important The classics are dust Like the bones of those who wrote them I’m not saying I could do better But honestly I could

as always, shittly posted poetry

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i am beyond serious

bonus:

[chloesimaginationthings]

Cassidy loves to scare the FNAF night guards..

[fazcinatingblog]

Omg I know this one

Okay so they had Nathan Hauritz, Xavier Doherty (who lasted quite awhile until I think KP tore him to shreds) then Michael Beer (who lasted two seconds before the entire England team tore him to shreds and he popped up in big bash for a decent amount of time until Finch tore him to shreds)

Then in about 2013, they just thought stuff it, if we can't get one that spins like Warnie, what about we get one that looks like Warnie and they wheeled out a young boy with bleached hair taking Nick Riewoldt marks on the boundary in T20 matches and

That didn't last long, I think Lyon came along shortly after and the selectors clung him like a barnacle on a ship "please save us, we'll market you as a goat, the greatest off spinner of all time, don't tell anyone there's no other off spinners around"

The Warnie lookalike reared his less bleached head a few years later as more of a Bradman clone and the Test team was set.

[molinaesque]

But I got something going now. A friend. And I don't wanna mess it up. Maybe that's what I was like for you.

[technically-human]

Payneland²