#For context she ran directly into his back when he stopped walking lmao
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Need everyone to listen to this because “bwargh” does not even come close to describing that sound
#mine#For context she ran directly into his back when he stopped walking lmao#project sekai#i had to fuck around on the web version on my phone for this and now I have this audio file on my phone forever <3#emu otori#emu
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Urgent Care
A/N: Okay, so I wrote this loosely based on this post that @imagine-assembling-the-avengers reblogged a little over a month ago because I couldn’t help myself. I think it may have gotten a little out of hand, but I’m p happy with the way it’s turned out! I just hope you guys feel the same way lmao
Pairing: AvengersxReader
Word Count: 5185
Warnings: Slight angst?
“Margaret Carter?”
“Yes?” The woman lying on the hospital bed manages to rasp out. Her breathing is labored and she’s fighting to keep her eyes open. “Who…” She trails off, trying to catch her breath. “Who are you?”
“You don’t know me, but I know how to help you.”
She lets out a hoarse laugh. “How could you help me? I’m dying, dear. There’s nothing to be done.”
“There’s always something to be done.” I shake my head and step towards her. “I have… well, I have powers. I can restore you to the way you were in the forties; young, spry and healthy.”
“How is it that you have these powers?” She asks, wary of the newly presented information.
“I’m an Inhuman, Ms. Carter. When Terrigen mists were released in my city, I was lucky enough to have the necessary alien genes to form a chrysalis and develop powers. Now,” I place my hands on my hips. “Do you want my help or not?”
“Why do you want to help me?”
“Because your idiot godson and too-pretty-for-his-own-good ex are about to do something so stupid that it’ll destroy the balance between supers and civilians as we know it.”
Her eyes widen. “And how do you happen to know this?”
“Not illegally, I can promise you that. I just happen to have Inhuman informants on the inside.”
“Alright… but how do you expect to explain my sudden, miraculous transformation to the hospital staff?”
“Oh, the hospital won’t know. They’ll think you’ve died.”
“And how do you expect to pull that off?”
“Tetrodotoxin B, Ms. Carter. It slows the heart rate to one beat per minute. Dr. Banner is quite brilliant, regardless of whether or not his inventions work the way he intended them.”
“So, I’ll be dead, will I?”
“Legally, yes.”
“And when I wake, I’ll be young again. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
She’s silent for a moment, staring at something directly in front of her. She purses her lips and turns back to me “Do it.”
“Cool,” I smirk and produce a syringe of the tetrodotoxin b and take a step closer to the woman on the bed. “I suggest you get comfortable. You’re gonna be out for a while.”
–
“Ms. Carter,” I snap my fingers in front of her face in an attempt to rouse her. “Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”
Her eyelids flutter momentarily before her eyes snap open and she sits bolt upright, eyes wide. She looks at me in confusion then down at her hands and, if it’s even possible, her eyes widen further. “This isn’t a dream, is it?”
“Thought you might ask that,” I hand her a mirror and grab my coffee from the table next to her bed. “So I brought backup.”
“How can you do this?” She asks, tearing her eyes away from her reflection. “I realize you have powers, but how can you use them without draining yourself?”
I shrug. “I just have to make sure I take in enough calories before I do anything. Either that, or I drain something or someone else”
“Someone?” She asks, lifting one perfectly shaped eyebrow. She’s trying her hardest to keep her cool, but the mask is slipping.
I shrug again. “If I have to, yes.” I finish with my coffee and crush the slightly soggy paper cup in my hand. “It’s not ideal but, y'know, desperate times and all.”
She nods her understanding and casts her eyes around the room. “Where are we?”
“Motel about half an hour’s drive from the Avengers facility in upstate New York. We have to get to there before dark.”
“You told me Steve and Tony were about to do something only I could stop. What exactly am I stopping?”
“Tony and a number of the other Avengers are about to sign the Sokovia accords. The accords were drawn up in order to move the power over those with powers to the government. Anyone with powers who doesn’t sign, meaning mutants, Inhumans and any other sort of enhanced person, will immediately be marked a criminal and they will be pursued and captured. If they are coerced to sign, they’ll be assigned to a team and all will be fine and dandy.”
“And if they refuse?”
“They’ll be put in prison. Specifically the kind that’s submerged in the middle of the ocean somewhere. They call them rafts. I like to call them hell.”
“Tony wouldn’t dare. “
“I think you’ll find that he would.” I snort. “He’s done a lot of things that he’s not proud of and he’s made some things that he lost control of. He thinks that if there’s someone to keep them in control, then he can prevent any potential future disasters.”
“And Steve…?”
“Steve disagrees, obviously.”
She smiles, likes she’s remembering something. “He never really did like having someone tell him what to do.”
“It’s more than that though. The accords affect everyone. Any powered person who doesn’t sign is a criminal. If someone’s in hiding and has to expose themselves to help an innocent in the street, no matter how pure their intentions, will be put away if they don’t sign.”
“How am I supposed to straighten them out? I’m not an unstoppable force.”
“You’re the only thing left they don’t want to lose. Steve’s probably already gotten an alert letting him know you’ve passed. We have to get to the compound before something drastic happens.”
“Alright then,” She swings her legs over the side of the bed and pushes herself up. “What are we waiting for?”
“For you to change out of your grandma gown.” I rise from my seat and grab the clothing I bought for her and throw the wadded up items at her. “You look ridiculous.”
She readily catches the clothing and looks down at the nightgown she’s currently wearing before laughing. “I suppose the nightgown does age me. Where is the restroom?”
“Just down the hall there,” I point in the general direction. “I’ll pack up and start the car.”
She nods and walks off to the bathroom to change. I shove all of the clothing that’s laying around into the duffel that I brought, leaving a pair of shoes and socks out for Peggy to put on when she returns from the bathroom. Other than the possessions that I brought with, I grab the notepad and ballpoint pen from the table closest to the door and scribble down the phone number of my informant and a message that I’ll have Peggy send on either we’re on our way to the compound. After finishing with the message I take both the notepad and pen, but leave behind the key card on the table.
I fling the duffel in the back of the car and slam the door before dropping heavily into the driver’s seat and loudly closing the door.
It’s about ten minutes before Peggy slides into the passenger seat. I start the engine and, as soon I as she’s buckled her seatbelt, I tear out of the parking lot.
We ride in silence until Ms. Carter can’t stand it any longer. She shifts in her seat and angles her body towards mine. I feel her gaze weighing on me like a ton of bricks.
“Spit it out before I hit you.”
“What exactly is it that you can do?”
“In what context, Ms. Carter.”
“Your powers.” She says. “What are the extend of your powers?”
“Oh. Well, I manipulate stored energy. I can drain energy from people, plants, animals, you name it. I can also give that power back. If I have to, I can weaponize it, but I prefer to keep my talents in the infirmary.”
“Is that how you met your informant?”
“More or less yes. He and I worked at the Avengers facility together. He’s a weapons technician and I worked in the infirmary. More often than not, he would get injured trying to help Stark with his tech and I’d have to patch him up.” I concentrate on the road signs my eyebrows furrowing. “I got pretty well acquainted with most of the Avengers, if I’m being honest. After they found out about my powers they would occasionally come see me for a little energy boost before missions. Not all of them will be happy to see me, so please don’t be offended if I use you like a human shield.”
“Why wouldn’t they be happy to see you?” She asks, narrowing her eyes at me.
“Let’s just say I couldn’t be exactly what they wanted.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I sigh, my grip tightening around the steering wheel. “During the Ultron incident the team picked up a couple of kids. They went to Sokovia and only one of the kids came back alive. They wanted me to bring him back, but I couldn’t. His brain had been without oxygen for too long and I couldn’t do anything to help.” I wipe a frustrated tear away with my thumb. “No one was too happy to have me around at that point, so I left. I kept in touch with my informant and, from what he tells me, at least a few of them think I’m a deserter.”
“That hardly seems appropriate.” She turns her body back to the front of the car and focuses her eyes on the road.
“Yeah, well I left when things got hard. Their words hold some truth. Can’t really be upset when I’m the one who gave up and ran away.” I flip open the compartment between the two front seats and fish out the note I had written earlier and the cell phone and toss them into her lap. “The past doesn’t matter. The present does though, so text that message to the number on the paper.”
–
I stop the car in a secluded area a ways away from the facility. It looks almost exactly the way it did the day I left.
“So this is the Avengers facility?”
“Yup.”
“It’s not as large as I would have expected Tony to have built it.”
“There’s more to it than what you see right here.” I unbuckle my seatbelt and pull myself out of the car. Peggy follows and joins me on my side of the car. “There are a bunch of buildings that you can’t see from here and there’s a large portion of the facility that’s underground.” I point to a small building a few yards away. “That’s how we’re getting in. We just have to wait for my friend to open the door.”
“And when is that supposed to happen?”
“Just give the man a second. He does work in one of the most heavily fortified facilities in the world.”
“What is that building anyway? It’s so small, I can’t imagine it having much more use than a small shed.”
“It’s the underground entrance. Most people who live outside of the facility use it to come and go, especially those of us who work, or rather worked on the lower levels of the facility.”
“Huh,”
The doors slide open, revealing my friend who stands there staring in our general direction. I lock the car and gesture to Ms. Carter to follow me. She sticks close, understanding the risk of sneaking into the compound.
“It’s about damn time you got here.” He says as soon as we’re in earshot. “You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”
I roll my eyes and sigh. “Shut up and give me a hug you asshole.” He laughs and pulls me into a brief but tight hug. “We works have been here sooner, but restoring her drained me more than I expected it to.”
He nods and looks over my shoulder to Ms. Carter. “It’s an honor to meet you ma’am. We’ve all heard great things.”
“It’s good to meet you too.” She nods respectfully. “I have no idea what your names are though.”
“You didn’t tell her our names?!”
“It never came up!”
“You’re hopeless.” He sighs in resignation. “I’m Jared and they’re (Y/N).”
“Alright,” Peggy nods once again.
“Okay, we should head inside before we get caught out here. I’d rather go to them than have them come to us.” I suggest stepping aside to allow Peggy to go through the door before me. Jared nods and we follow him down three flights of stairs and into his small office at the very end of the corridor.
As soon as the door is closed I open an application on my phone and activate it before nodding to Jared. He nods back and nod grabs a spare uniform that he managed to smuggle out of the laundry from behind his desk.
“How long do we have until they know something’s up?” He asks.
“Maybe fifteen minutes, twenty if we’re lucky.” I answer taking one of the uniforms from him and immediately beginning to change into it. “Stark, we should start worrying around ten.”
“Alright then, here’s the plan; Stark and Rogers aren’t exactly talking to each other right now. Last I heard, Rogers was mourning the loss of Ms. Carter here. You walk past a few security cameras, freak out the security staff enough that they call Stark in to check, he alerts the rest of the team and you wait for them to come to you.”
“Cool,” I zip the front of the uniform and stuff the cap on my head. “Anyone I should be particularly worried about?”
“Romanoff and Barton always seemed to like you, so they probably won’t be a huge problem. The Vision is just…”
“Vision?” I offer.
Jared snorts. “Let’s say he’s learning. You see the news a couple days ago?” I nod. “Wanda’s in a bad spot, she may not even show up.”
“Might be for the best. I got weird energy readings off of her when she realized I couldn’t bring her brother back.” I nod. “Anyone else I should be wary of aside from the fearless leaders?”
“Rhodes and Wilson joined up, so you might want to watch out for them.”
“Why is it that you’re warning them but not me?” Peggy asks.
“Because you’re the person who started all of this.” Jared says, gesturing to the facility in general. “Who would dare hurt you?
“Even so-”
“Listen,” I cut her off “I’m the one who pissed everyone off. Anyone who’s still upset with me is more likely to just punch me and then ask questions. If they don’t recognize you, they still won’t initially hurt a civilian. You’re fine.”
“If you insist.”
“She’s right, Ms. Carter.” Jared glances at the clock. “You two better get going if you want to get this done.”
I nod. “Alright, let’s go.”
We bid Jared farewell and head back out into the facility. I take her down past the gym where the Captain worked out when he wanted to be alone and check the window to the main door. Sure enough, he’s in there, pounding away at a bag near the doors. I slip away before he can see me and nod to Peggy. She nods back and takes her place in front of the door.
Taking a knee, I press the palms of my hands flat against the concrete floor. I close my eyes and focus on the Captain’s energy signature. When I’m sure that I’ve locked onto his unique energy, I send a jolt through the floor and into his body in hopes of it startling him enough to get him to look around and see his lost love standing at the door.
At the sound of Ms. Carter’s soft gasp, I grab her wrist and haul her down the corridor, whipping the both of us around a corner and pressing us against the wall. We hear the doors slam open and the slapping of feet against concrete as Steve thunders out of the gym. As soon as we hear his footsteps retreat we move on to our next point.
We quickly make our way to the hangar. There are rows upon rows of quinjets in various states of disrepair. Several technicians shout a greeting and I wave back, grinning at their reactions when they realize who we are.
“(Y/N)!”
I glance over my shoulder to see who’s trying to get my attention. When I see someone jogging to catch up with us I stop Ms. Carter and turn around to wait. I squint at them, trying to figure out who they are and it takes a while for it to click.
“Freddy?” I call, “Is that you?”
He laughs as he comes to a stop in front of me. “The one and only.”
“You’ve put on some weight, man.” I comment, pulling him into a hug. “It’s a good look for you.”
He laughs again, slapping me heartily on my back before releasing me from the hug. “I’ll have you know it’s all muscle!”
I snort in amusement. “Yeah, whatever you say, Fred.” He grins at me and I laugh at his response. “How’re the wife and kids?”
“Still just as tickled as ever that I have a job.” He answers. Peggy catches his attention and I immediately see the rebellious sparkle glint in his eyes. “So you’re really doing it, huh? Restoring balance to the Avengers?”
“We’re sure as hell gonna try.”
“Well good on you,” He leans in slightly and lowers his voice. “Though I’m glad I’m not the one who has to be there when the shit hits the fan.”
“I would never ask that of you. You have a family to protect. I don’t want to mess that up for you.” A loud siren cuts through the air and I sigh loudly. “That’s our cue, Ms. Carter.”
“It was lovely to meet you, Fred.” Peggy says, nodding to the stout man in front of us.
“Same to you, ma’am.” He grins at the two of us and squeezes my arm in a silent wish of good luck.
I clap him on the shoulder and lead Peggy towards the exit on the other side of the hangar. Before we leave the massive room I take off the cap that I’m wearing and discard it, making it easier to recognize me.
I hold the door for Ms. Carter and follow after her as soon as she’s through the doorway, the door banging shut behind us.
“There they are!” Someone yells to our right. Upon further investigation I find a horde of facility security officers not too far off.
“Oh, this is getting good,” I say, shooting a manic grin at Peggy before grabbing her by the hand and rushing off in the direction opposite the security officers.
Without so much as a shout of complaint, Peggy races after me, managing to stick close to me as we wave through the maze-like halls of the facility.
As soon as we burst through the doors that lead to another open field on the other side of the compound we’re met by both Stark and Rhodes, their repulsors trained on the both of us. By the shouts coming from behind us I would hazard a guess that the security guards followed us out and, with any luck, the good captain himself.
“Was this part of the plan?” Ms. Carter hisses.
“Completely.” I answer. “Just stay very still.”
“Y know, I was really hoping we’d never see you again, (Y/N).” Stark’s voice scratches out of his suit.
“Believe me, if I could have avoided coming back, I would have.”
“Care to explain why you’re back then? And on top of that, why did you drag this innocent woman into your petty liitle fight with us?”
“Are you really such an incredible dumbass that you’ve already forgotten what your godmother looks like, Stark?” I question.
Tony snorts in derision. “Peggy Carter is dead. You really expect anyone to believe that you brought her back after claiming you couldn’t bring Maximoff back?”
“He had been without oxygen for too long. If I had even tried he would have been brain dead and that would have been a fate worse than death. I did everyone a favor. The fact that you still can’t see that just cements the fact that leaving this team was the best decision I ever made. However, I didn’t come here to dig up the past, I came to get you idiots the scolding of a lifetime.” I run a hand through my hair and square my shoulders defiantly. “Three days ago I paid Ms. Carter a visit in her hospital room. I offered her the chance to have her youth back and she accepted. Using one of Banner’s little inventions, I helped her fake her death and restored her.”
“You're… you’re really not lying about this, are you?” Steve’s voice sounds from behind me. I sigh loudly and turn around to face the man.
“I’ve caused you all enough pain as it is. I wouldn’t come back and spout nonsense just to rub salt into the wounds.”
Looking over my shoulder, I catch Ms. Carter’s eye and nod to her. Her jaw sets and she turns to face the man. I watch as his eyes go wide and tears form in his eyes.
“Hello, Steve.” She says quietly.
“I-I…” He stutters, searching for something to say. “You’re here.” He says finally.
Peggy nods once. “I am. “ She confirms before turning around again to face her godson. “Now, Anthony, this young person has filled me in on the, what did you call them?” She asks, turning her head towards me.
“The Sokovia Accords.” I answer.
“Yes, the Sokovia Accords.” She nods. “You can’t seriously be considering signing the blasted thing.”
“The accords are going to do a lot of good.” He says defensively.
“No, what they’re going to do is set back the progress we’ve made with powered people by several decades. Do you realize how hard it was to normalize the existence of mutants, Tony? Now with the appearance of Inhumans, we’re presented with an entirely new obstacle and the only thing signing those accords will do is not only criminalize, but demonize the existence of anyone with abilities.”
“Aunt Peggy-”
“I am not finished.” She says tersely. I imagine her tacking on a ‘young man’ at the end of her sentence and have to tamp down the urge to laugh. “Why exactly are you signing the accords? Did you think about how it would affect the rest of your team? How it would affect the rest of the world? Once you sign something like this and it takes hold, it’s very hard to dismantle it. Tell me, have you even read through the proposal?”
“I’ve skimmed it.”
“Of course you have.” I mutter, scrubbing a hand down my face.
“(Y/N), please, that’s not helping.” Peggy says curtly.
“Right, sorry. Force of habit.”
She rolls her eyes. “Do you know what they’re proposing to do with those who don’t sign the accords, Tony?”
“I don’t exactly remember for sure.” He answers. We can’t see his face, but I’m certain he’s trying to look anywhere but at Peggy right now.
“They’re going to put them in prison, dear. Prison. For something they can’t even control. And you think this is a good proposal?”
The faceplate of Tony’s mask finally slides up, revealing his uncertain expression. “We need someone to keep us in line. We can’t keep operating on our own. Too many bad things have happened when we’ve run unchecked and it can’t go on like this.”
“Then propose something else.” Peggy says evenly. “The two of you need to work together and draw up a document that you can both agree on.”
“That sounds… doable.” Steve says slowly.
“It damn well better be or, so help me, I will take over and make your lives a living hell until you straighten out. Even then, who knows what I’ll do!” Peggy threatens.
I watch Steve visibly stiffen and I find myself slightly amazed at the effect that this woman has on these two men. I knew she was important, but I guess even then I underestimated her.
When the two men don’t verbally react she shoots alternating disapproving looks at the two men. “Do I make myself clear?”
“Of course, Peggy.” Steve nods fervently.
Peggy and I stare at Tony expectantly. He drops his gaze to the grass.
“Yes, Aunt Peggy.” He mumbles, his words just barely loud enough for us to hear.
Peggy nods in satisfaction. “Good. Now shake on it.”
Both men stare at her, eyes wide. She just lifts her eyebrows at the two of them, her expression otherwise stern.
“Well?” She places her hands on her hips. “We haven’t got all day, have we?”
I watch, mouth covered by my hand to muffle a giggle, as the two men trudge reluctantly towards each other and firmly grasp one others hand. They move them up stiffly up and down once before looking to Ms. Carter for approval. She sighs in exasperation and rolls her eyes.
“Fine,” She scrubs a hand down her face and crosses her arms over her chest. “Let’s get started on this. I don’t want you to put off something this important.”
Steve nods and waves away the security officers who quickly disperse, nodding once to me and Ms. Carter before they’re gone.
“Y’know, I half wanted to work security when I started here.” I muse, watching the men stalk off to their regular postings. “Maybe you guys wouldn’t hate me as much if I did.”
“You think that we hate you?” Steve questions.
I shrug once before nodding. “S’why I left. Everyone was throwing off negative energy and it was all directed at me. With the strength of it, I knew I wouldn’t be missed if I left. On top of that, Tony’s little greeting earlier really just confirmed that my decision was the right one.”
Steve’s expression darkens and I can’t quite read it. He just looks me directly in the eye and nods once before motioning for us to follow him.
I follow after Peggy as both Tony and Steve lead the way back into the facility.
Soon the hallway let’s out into a tunnel of glass, looking out on the expansive fields of the facility. Everything is impossibly green and beautiful. I half wonder if one of the landscapers has powers because whoever keeps up with this has to either be in a hundred places at once or have the greenest thumb in existence.
I amble along behind the small group, taking in the view, shoving my hands in my pockets and not really paying any attention to what’s going on around me. If I keep quiet I’ll be able to leave again soon without too much fuss.
“(Y/N)!” Tony barks, snapping his fingers in front of my nose, effectively stopping me in my tracks.
“What?” I ask, scowling at him.
“We’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now.” Steve says.
“Really?” I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how much I don’t want to be here. Didn’t realize you’d actually want to talk to me.”
“Is everyone who quits your little company this sarcastic, Tony?” Peggy asks.
“Nope, just this one.”
I roll my eyes. “What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Where did you get the uniform?” Tony asks. “It’s not like you can just make one.”
“I borrowed it from a friend who liberated it from the wash for me.”
“Who was it?”
“Now that would be tattling, Stark, and tattling can get someone fired in a place like this.”
“It’s not like I’d fire them.” Tony grumbles.
“Wouldn’t you though?” Steve questions, cooking an eyebrow accusing lyrics.
Stark isn’t given a chance to defend himself as Natasha enters the corridor.
“I heard the alarm a little while ago, what happened?” She asks, looking between her two colleagues.
“Why don’t you ask your little friend here?” Tony says, making a sweeping gesture towards me.
“Friend? I didn’t know anyone was supposed to be here.” Her brow furrows as she looks past them before her eyes settle on me and a grin stretches her elegant features. “(Y/N)?”
“Hey, Nat,” I greet her with a wave and a bright smile. “Fancy meeting you here!”
She pushes past the men at the head of the group to wrap an arm round my neck and pull me down to her height so she can grind her knuckles into my scalp. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“Couldn’t,” I grit out, smile still firmly in place, and try to shove her off of me. “It was kind of a secret.”
“I’m a spy, I can keep a secret.” She says, releasing me and punching me in the arm.
“I know, but this was a really big one!” I say, my voice almost a whine, and rub at my arm.
“This is what that young man meant when he said she liked you?” Peggy asks incredulously.
“What young man?” Tony asks.
“Nunya,” I answer, shit eating grin plastered on my face.
“Last name?”
“Business.”
“Nunya Business…” Tony trails off, his brow furrowing angrily. “Are you fucking kidding me.”
Steve snorts loudly, his mouth covered with his hand to keep his laughter contained and Peggy smacks his arm, a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth. I laugh outright and Natasha snickers from beside me.
“Was it Jared?” Nat whispers in my ear. I nod in response. “Good kid.”
“He is,” I agree.
“Is that Peggy Carter?”
“Indeed it is,” I nod.
“Isn’t she supposed to be dead?” Natasha asks.
“Yup,”
“Tetrodotoxin B?”
“Right on the nose, Nat.” I laugh. “Figured she was the only one who could fix this whole business with the Accords.”
“Huh,”
“Yeah,” I sigh quietly. Steve, Tony and Peggy begin walking down the hall again and Natasha and I follow after them, keeping enough distance between us that we can talk at a normal level. “Is Steve still looking for Barnes?”
“You think there’s any force in the world that could possibly stop him once he’s put his mind to something?”
“Right, well, he might want to check Romania.”
“Romania?”
“Sounds strange, I know, but I’ve heard rumors from a few Inhumans in the area who have seen someone who looks like the Winter Soldier in the street markets.”
The group goes into the conference room and Natasha and I loiter outside a while longer.
“You sure the information is legitimate?” She questions.
“I doubt my own people would lie about something this serious. Still,” I shrug. “Even if it’s not, it’s a better lead than anything he’s had in almost two years.”
“Sure wouldn’t hurt.” She turns her attention to the group in the room, hunched over a large stack of papers. “You think you’d ever come back?”
“Stark doesn’t want me here.” I say simply.
“That doesn’t answer the question, (Y/N).”
“Let’s worry about the Accords before I make a decision okay?”
“Fair enough.”
--------
Part 2
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A week of bullshit
Damn, life really has been coming at me fast recently. This whole last week has been WILD. I’ve quite literally been drunk every night for a week. It all started a week ago, last Monday. Me and Briana were doing a normal, run of the mill, Croads sesh. I ran into Gina, Felix, and Jae (Gina’s room mate), and they invite me to sit with them, but homegirl’s busy with Briana so I hang for a second, mentioned to Gina how I stopped by her room the other day to say hi but she wasn’t there, and went back to hang with Briana. Then, as me and Bri are jammin to Mariah Carey by the dish racks, Gina, Felix, and company roll up to put their dishes away and join us temporarily in the jam. Then, Felix goes, “Why didn’t you stop by my room?”, referencing how I had tried to stop by Gina’s. He THEN proceeds to invite me to his room that night for a “party”. Of COURSE, me and Briana show up like an hour later to his room. It was Felix, his hot tall Connecticut friend named Will, Jae, and Gina, and we’re all just chilling to music. Felix was being a lil weird, him and his friend were sorta just in deep discussion together with no explanation, and they soon kicked us out, claiming we would link up again at 10:30 to drink Four Lokos. Apparently Four Loko Monday is a regular occurrence on floor 2. When he said “party” I didn’t LITERALLY know he meant PARTY. Anyways, we chill in Gina’s for a while, then he comes back with the Lokos, and we have a great time getting drunk in Gina’s room. Anders, this INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE Wasian on the lacrosse team that basically every girl in Unit 2 is obsessed with and whom everyone has basically just assumed at this point is completely unattainable, comes to join us cuz I guess him, Gina, and Anders are best friends or whatever. We follow each other on Instagram so I KNOW he recognized me, but this was our official formal introduction. He’s pretty shy and lowkey and introverted so whatever. I’ve seen him at a few rapey frat parties because, as afore mentioned, his friends are all fellow lax bros and lax bros are attracted to rapey/racist frat culture (Fiji, SAE, DKE, etc.). But that’s besides the point, for now. Anyway… my plan was just to Uber from Unit 2 at the end of the night cuz, at the time, a bitch could afford it. But Felix literally offered to walk me back at like 3 am so he just walked me back with his SKATEBOARD in hand. But that was whatever.
Ok, next night: me, Briana, Leah, Ariel, and Luna decide to get drunk on Leah’s balcony on floor 1, and low and behold, Felix lives DIRECTLY above her. So he hears us and peeps his head in, Anders in present company, and he fucking SPIDERMANS down from the god damn WINDOW onto the balcony. I deadass thought he would die. Then Gina came down to hang and drink with us, and Felix and Anders skateboarded away to smoke in the parking garage. I can’t really tell you much else about that experience except for that it was indeed an experience. I actually don’t know how I got home that night, now that I think about it.
Anyway, next up… Wine Wednesday. Boy was it a rough one. It’s Wine Wednesday today, incidentally, so I can’t really remember much from last week. I know we went to DKE, the one where I hooked up with a Trump supporter and also the one where Mohammed, the love of Leah’s life, is pledging. One time we went there and literally witnessed some minor hazing and forced binge drinking. Saw a poor fucker completely blacked and passed the fuck out being dragged up the stairs by like four guys in a conjuncted effort, one of them being Mohammed. Anyway, I know we started at DKE… went to Sig Chi… came back to DKE… lost Ariel and Luna at some point, and ended up with this girl I know who loves Sig Nu a little too much. So the two of us went to Delta Chi, got her scratch patched up by the brothers there (lmao), checked out a very empty Sig Nu, then ended up back at DKE…. Long night. Definitely blacked. And I basically just woke up in Avery’s bed in Rocky’s room with very little context. Then me and Julia, both having woken up still drunk in Phi Psi mens’ beds, with very different contexts at that point, decided to get breakfast and coffee in a late birthday celebration before my work shift. And that was actually a really good Potle sesh for me. Flirted with hella guys, got flirted with, finessed… good shit. There’s some longer record of the whole incident somewhere in my screenshots. But anyway, decent day. I guess at this point we’re at Thursday, so…
Thursday. Briana’s AXO date party night, where srats hold parties at various clubs in SF, bus us there in nice ass party buses, and I pay absolutely nothing to participate in them. I love being a GDI (god damn independent). It started out pretty stressful, since Briana gets a little crazy with being on time, staying on schedule, sticking to the plan, etc. This was a fun, somewhat eventful night, and I’ve made good progress on the whole week’s shenanigans, but alas, I have to go right now to get Potle while Leah’s working (a bitch tried it for the first time yesterday and the chicken is too god damn good), then get ready for a Chi Phi philo event that our friend Rory invited us to at Croads today, in which we watch pledges and brothers auction themselves off to us women atop a stripper pole as we lightly objectify them and pay for their company. Good shit. Anyway, that’s tonight’s shenanigans. Still gotta finish Thursday’s date party and aftermath, all of Friday (Whomsty and Whomstders), Saturday (Sig Nu disasters), Sunday (hall association), Monday (dick), and yesterday (a combination of Unit 2 shenanigans and hall association dick). So that’s my next big thing. Oh, and Briana’s birthday is on Friday so a bitch has to make her some art.
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