#Fondue or Die

[jolieeason]

WWW Wednesday: August 28th, 2024

WWW Wednesday is a weekly meme Sam hosts at Taking on a World of Words. The Three Ws are: What are you currently reading? What did you recently finish reading? What do you think you’ll read next? Here is what I am currently reading, recently finished, and plan to read from Thursday to Wednesday. Let me know if you have read or are planning on reading any of these books!! Happy…

[woso-dreamzzz]

Playing Favourites III

Arsenal Women x Child!Reader

Summary: The annual Arsenal Christmas video

"Hi everyone," Leah says to the camera," I'm Leah Williamson and I just want to say, sorry, Mum. I know you told me not to let her do this before Christmas day, but I'm here with the youngest member of our squad and...What are we doing today, bean?"

You sit in the middle of a little half-circle of the Arsenal girls with a little sack in front of you. There's a Santa hat on your head and you're holding the sack like you're scared it will float away.

"Presents!" You cheer. "I'm like Santa!"

"You are like Santa," Leah says, smiling at the camera," So we've got our own Santa here at Arsenal and she's going to close her eyes, spin around and give everyone their Christmas gifts. Ready, bean?"

"Ready!"

You close your eyes nice and tight, spin around and aimlessly wander to your left. Arms clamp around your waist and you open your eyes to see Teyah and Lessi.

You beam and reach into your sack. "For you!" You give them both their gifts.

"Top trumps!" Teyah says triumphantly as Lessi pries her Michael Jordan Funko Pop out of the package.

"I'm gonna put this in my locker."

You close your eyes again, squeezing them tight as Lessi helps you spin. You go straight this time and fall into the laps of Noelle and Cloe.

Cloe ends up with the 100 pics riddle game and Noelle gets a fondue thing. They both seem especially happy and Noelle ruffles your hair.

"I'll have to bring you round for fondue, bean."

You don't know what fondue is but you think it's food so you're happy to go.

Next up is Lina and Stina - who catches you when you stumble - and they get a little teddy bear and a tree ornament of Stina kissing the trophy.

"You gotta put it on the tree," You say to her as she laughs at the picture," Because that's what it's for." You turn to Lina. "And have to give your bear cuddles. Teddies die without cuddles."

Caitlin and Vic are next and you get a picture on Vic's new camera with the three of you and Caitlin wearing her new Arsenal beanie.

You fall onto Viv on the next round and giggle hysterically as your favourite Lia moves to tickle you. You give her her gift first which ends up being big plastic things to pick up leaves with. Frida gets a special ornament with a picture of her scoring.

Viv gets a nice jumper with her and Beth on.

"You gotta wear it to the next game!" You say.

Viv laughs. "Maybe I will."

Gio and Kim follow them and you sit in Kim's lap as Gio unwraps the blue Arsenal bag that's meant to sit on her hips. Kim laughs in embarrassment as she gets a mug that proclaims her as the best captain ever and has an arrow that points at her when she drinks from it.

Laura catches you on the next round when you misstep on Kathrine's ankle.

Laia lets you have some of the Spanish gift she gets. It's kind of like nougat but it's got nuts in it and you're not too sure that you like the texture.

Kathrine gets socks (you always end up with socks in your stocking) and Laura gets a snow globe with a picture of her only goal in it.

Laia and Kathrine both help you do your spins and the next person you fall into is your sister.

She hugs you tight around the waist as you balance on her lap while digging through the bag. Her gift is one of the longer ones and it takes you a little bit to get it out of your sack.

You sit down properly when she leans forward to open it, bursting into laughter when it's revealed to be a keyboard.

"I'll teach you, bean," She says, pressing a few of the keys," Won't that be fun?"

"I don't have to do everything you do," You say a bit condescendingly but you're smiling so Leah knows how you really feel, pinching at your cheek.

"Off you go, bean," She says," You've got more presents to give out."

She spins you around so much that you basically crash into Jen and Beth.

Jen ends up with a book of Christmas carols for the guitar while Beth gets the same jumper as Viv just in a different colour.

"That's you and Viv," You tell her.

"Yeah, bean! That's me and Vivi!"

Naomi gets her gift next, a book of very unfunny dad jokes that you only laugh at so she doesn't feel sad that she's not funny at all.

Manu, Kyra and Steph come next.

Manu gets a picture of the goalkeeper union while Kyra gets a packet of Tim Tams that she lets you eat two from.

"It's a jumper for Calvin!" You exclaim when Steph unwraps her own present.

She looks ecstatic and she swears that she'll send a picture of Calvin wearing it to Leah's phone for you to see.

The last person to get her gift is Katie. She looks confused for a moment as she unwraps it before a smile splits her face.

"It's a luxury cat advent calendar," She says.

"For Cooper!" You say.

"That is class. He's gonna love that."

She pulls you in for a hug before letting you plop yourself back on your sister's lap.

She covers your eyes for the last time as someone places the last gift on your lap.

You rip open the packaging and squeal when you reveal an Arsenal jersey. It's got your favourite number on the back and instead of Williamson like all of Leah's jerseys, it's got the words 'The Boss' on the back.

You pull it over your head with help from your sister and she nudges you up to wave and smile at the cameras.

"Do you remember what to say?" She prompts you.

"Merry Christmas, Gunners!"

[imagineredwood]

3. Roses 🌹

Summary: Miguel always spoils you, but especially on Valentine’s Day.

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x female reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI Sexual content. CONSENSUAL drunken sex,

Word count: 1.2K

A/n: I know these were supposed to be drabbles but my fingers had a kind of their own and kept typing 🤐

“Jesus. How much did this cost??”

You looked over at Miguel incredulously, still in shock by the what looked like hundreds of roses all bunched together neatly in the round case. The bright scarlet petals were dusted with a gold shimmer on the very tips, something that made the arrangement look even more expensive. Loose petals scattered on the tile leading out to the pool. Miguel grinned, his hand coming to snake around your waist as he kissed the very tip of your nose.

“Don’t worry about that. You’re priceless, and your gifts should be priceless. I have much more set up for us.”

With that, he squeezed your side gently, ushering you to follow the petals. You walked behind the trail out to the pool, finding that the usual warm white lights that were strung up were now in soft shades of pink, the entire backyard having a pale pink hue. The table was set up elegantly, an ice bucket right in front with chilled bottles of your favorite champagne and wine. A long charcuterie board with all your favorite cheeses and fruits, candied jams and specialty nuts. A tray of glistening chocolate covered strawberries sat off to the left, some with drizzles over top and others with sprinkles. There was a fondue machine towards the back and Miguel motioned over to the side where the outdoor kitchen was, two chefs moving around silently as they cooked.

“The main course will be done in half hour. Sit down and let me pour you a drink.”

You smiled, smoothing your hands over the back of the dress Miguel had picked out for you to wear and took a seat. He held up a wine glass and a flute, letting you choose which you wanted first, pouring one for you and one for him before he came to sit down beside you. He held out your glass and you took it, your mouth curling into a smile as you took a sip. Miguel’s smile mirrored yours, always loving to see you enjoy something, regardless of what it was.

“Good?”

“Great.”

“Only the best for my girl.”

Your eyes crinkled in the corners as you settled into his side, his hand coming to rest on the knee of your leg that was peeking out through the slit in your dress.

You both drank and ate and talked and laughed, well once the table was nearly empty and everyone save for the guards had gone home. You were both tipsy and giggly, as well as touchy. The wine and champagne had made you feel flushed, but Miguel’s wandering hands the entire night had served to do the same despite the soft chill of the night air. You swallowed down the last of the wine in your glass, eyes glazed as you looked at your husband.

“You always treat me so well. You spoil me.”

The cartel leader smiled softly, hand leaving your thigh to instead gently take hold of your chin.

“You deserve all of this and more.”

It was true. He viewed you as if you had been the one to hang the moon and all of the stars in the sky. You were everything to him. The only woman for him. People had said that once he was married, the novelty would die down. That you both would get comfortable, and the spark would dwindle. ‘Happens to every marriage at some point.’ People said. And Miguel was determined to make sure that didn’t ever happen to the two of you. So, he made it a point to always shower you in love, attention, affection, and gifts, never wanting the honeymoon phase to go away. And so far he had been successful, much to your appeasement.

Your eyes fluttered in your tipsy state, lashes heavy and seductive as you looked at him, a perfectly manicured finger running down the buttons of his white shirt.

“Maybe we could take a shower now.”

Miguel nodded, hand reaching for yours so he could bring it up to his lips, pressing an adoring kiss to your knuckles.

“That sounds like a great idea, mi amor.”

You were both up and off then, gaits a bit messy from the alcohol, giggles and snickers being shared amongst the two of you as you bumped into walls and corners in your haste to get upstairs. By the time you had, you both were sure there’d be slight bruises to your hips from all the edges you wandered into. That was the last thing on your mind though as you both stumbled into the bathroom, lips locked, hands wandering. It didn’t take long for your dress to be unzipped and discarded, Miguel’s button up tossed somewhere over in the corner. Your mouths were messy, hands even messier. A few bumped teeth and bent back thumbs earning laughs from the two of you.

The giggles remained even when he was inside of you, the air light and fun. When he pinched his finger putting you up on the counter. When you threw your head back and knocked it against the mirror. Miguel’s life was dangerous, as was yours by default, so carefree moments like this were what made it all worth it. It was the coil in your stomach that brought about more seriousness as you clung to him, legs locked around his waist as he pounded into you, the vase on the counter wobbling and rocking slightly

“God, you feel so good, Miguel.”

He grunted, cock twitching within you at your praise.

“So perfect. Just for me.”

He cursed, willing himself to hold back, never liking to be the one to come first. Granted, he had already made you come twice, once with his fingers and another with his mouth, but he still wanted you to be the one to come first. Your words weren’t going to make it easy for him though.

“You always know how to get me, preciosa.”

You laughed, Miguel shuddering as your walls clenched and tightened with your chuckling.

“Fuck, stop that.”

His words only served to make you laugh more, your drunken brain not able to understand.

“Stop what? I thought you liked my laugh. You always said it was cute.”

He nodded, a small laugh of his own leaking out.

“I do. And it is. But not when I’m trying not to come.”

It clicked then and Miguel shook his head as your lips formed an O, now understanding.

“My apologies.”

You had meant to stop laughing. Truly, you had. But now you had the giggles, and they didn’t seem to be going anywhere or stopping any time soon. So, you laughed, and laughed more at Miguel’s clenched jaw, a bead of sweat forming on his forehead as he struggled, cursing as he spilled within you. Your giggles died down as he settled, your eyes enamored as they looked at him with not an ounce of disappointment, only love.

“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”

Miguel nodded, understanding.

“Yeah, yeah. You owe me one.”

At that you quirked a brow, leaning up to tease him.

“I’d think you owe me one, actually.”

With a shake of his head, Miguel pulled out and nodded, a worryingly mischievous look in his eye as he agreed then sunk down to his knees before you, his breath chilling the mess that was spread over your lips and inner thighs.

“You’re absolutely right.”

General taglist

@piccasoe @ateliefloresdaprimavera @gemini0410 @woahitslucyylu @my-rosegold-soul @that-chick212 @everyhowlmarksthedead @glimmerglittergirl  @fanaticfangurl21 @encounterthepast  @svintsandghosts @starrynite7114   @destynelseclipsa  @queenbeered @iamthegraham @emoengelfurleben  @otomefromtheheart @rosieposie0624 @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @beeroses @weirdosandhopelessromantics @kola95 @black-repunzel99 @xonickibaby @cruzwalters @myakai13 @mrsstevenbuchananstark @lyly00 @kaystacks17 @cole-winchester  @alexxavicry  @savagemickey03  @fanfic-n-tabulous   @gangstaliciou06

Mayans MC taglist

@dazzledamazon​  @abunnykisses​ @briana-mishell24​  @wrcn9fvlcver​  @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @krysiewithak​  @appropriate-writers-name​  @blessedboo​  @megapeacelovemusic-blog​ @emoengelfurleben​ @blowmymbackout​ @abby-splace​ @kola95​ @black-repunzel99​ @redpoodlern​  @myakai13​

@cruzwalters​  @danimals1096 @po3ticb3auty​ @lyly00​ @im-just-a-mississippi-girl​  @angel-121​ @fanfic-n-tabulous​ @90sisthenew80s​ @lovelytricia @librarian1002

[firstprince-ao3feed]

and i i i cant keep my hands off you

by luisasfalsegod “I hate you” Henry complains, but the pink blush that has risen in his cheeks gives him away. “Sure you do” Alex says, feeding Henry a chocolate dipped strawberry. “Fuck me that’s good” Henry moans, as he lets the sweetness envelop his taste buds. “Again, I was hoping we could eat something first. I promise to eat you after though” Alex says teasingly, a cocky grin forming on his lips. Henry truly can’t stand him. Or the one where Alex surprises his husband who’s been working way too much and deserves a break. Words: 3463, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of Firstprince As Troye Sivan lyrics Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: Fluff, Picnic, feeding each other, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, mostly implied - Freeform, some not, domestic husbands, Married Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, champagne kisses, Chocolate Fondue, Tooth Rotting Fluff, takeout, Stargazing, Flirting, Blowjobs, Overstimulation, acts of service, Loverboy Alex Claremont-Diaz, Pining Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Teasing, Kissing, So much kissing, Blankets, Quality Time, POV Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Unbetaed we die like Alex’s heterosexuality via https://ift.tt/RgOml0W

[rowdyhughesy]

Switzerland - NH13

📍Bern, Switzerland

liked by: jackhughes, yourbestfriend and others

tagged: nicohischier

yourusername: Just a German girl and her Swizz cheese enjoying summer break, Ich liebe jede Sekunde, die ich mit dir verbringe mein Nico🤍

jackhughes: I miss him, come home

→ yourusername: you spend more time with him during the season than I do!!

→ jackhughes: it’s still not enough dummy

nicohischier: Ich liebe dich mein Mädchen❤️

→ yourusername: ❤️

yourbestfriend: the cutest couple

john.marino: oh captain my captain🫡

dawson1417: ay ay captain don’t eat too much fondue and chocolate now

→ yourusername: I’ll grab the leash it’s fine Daws

→ nicohischier: not a real leash don’t chirp me guys please

hischier13: Keine wanderungen mehr bitte, ich schwitze😮‍💨

→ yourusername: Keine Zusagen Luc❤️❤️

liked by: tmeier96, yourusername and others

nicohischier: happy to be home

npatrick19: hope you’re enjoying it!

jesperbratt: just a dawg doing dawg things 🏌🏻

yourusername: my boyfriend the supermodel🤭

→ nicohischier: you make me blush pretty 😘

→ yourusername: that’s the point Hischier🤍

jackhughes: I miss mom and dad

→ dawson1417: me too🥲

njdevils: Looking good Cap!

yourbestfriend: you should become a photographer Nic

→ yourusername: I’m the one taking all the pictures of him!!🤨

load more comments…

instagram stories

[kalak]

Cinderella au where Luke gets hired in the imperial palace after he was orphaned and ran away.

He ends up as a servant in the imperial palace by some luck (he unconsciously mind tricked the hiring manager) and he has to do menial chores/clean up after the nobility - he quickly wins the heart of the other maids and cooks and servants with his politeness and sunny disposition. They always give him extra food when he stops by at the kitchen, ruffling his hair along the way.

But then - Vader stops by at the palace, and they draw a straw to decide the servant that's allocated to him, and Luke ends up drawing the short straw. (was it rigged? Maybe. Luke was small and easy to pick on after all)

And Luke's scared at first, thinking for sure that he would die, but Vader seems to be oddly warm.. and not that hostile (he reminds Vader of padme). Still, all the other maids are scared to death for him, gossiping about how Vader could kill without even touching someone, about how he could read people's minds and didn't like lying - people treat him like he's a dead man walking, pitying glances thrown his way.

Luke's resigns himself to one day being choked to death by Vader for some miniscule slip up, but until then, he's going to enjoy life to the fullest. So that's how, when given the opportunity to sneak into the imperial ball as a noble, Luke takes it - taking on the facade of luke naberrie, son of padme naberrie.. (she's dead, no one would check, surely? And she's from an obscure enough house!)

At the ball, Luke has the time of his life tasting all the fancy delicacies and watching the dazzling dresses move with the orchestra's music. Of course, Vader happens to overhear his name and instantly whips around to see who it is, but Luke's already gone, drawn by the chocolate fondue.

Vader spends the entire ball searching for him, but .. no luck, only thing he could find is a coat that Luke shucked off when things got too hot, with some odds and ends inside.

There's a japor snippet (this proves luke's heritage, to Vader. This is his son without a doubt), some mechanic parts (Vader smiles at the thought of his son also liking tinkering), a letter, scrawled to... Leia organa. It's not finished so there's no sign off, but he sees the dear leia at the top - and who else has that name?

So that's how leia has to deal with a sudden vader who barges into her lodgings at the palace, interrogating her about the letter. She recognizes it immediately as luke's, but she denies any knowledge out of fear that Vader will do Luke harm. Still, she lets slip the fact that the flimsi is from the servant's quarters .. and that's all vader needs to know.

All vader has to do now is match the coat to its owner and luke's so small, there's no way another man fits the coat - and that's how Vader finds his son.

[pentacle-artist]

Finished replaying Rhythm Thief! I also replayed the first two bonus chapters and rewatched a video of the last one (I can't get A on all of the minigames, I know my limits)

I completely forgot Natalie recognizes Raphael if you decide to talk to her on your way to find Elisabeth's house

Fondue looks so... offended?

How often does this happen? I am genuinely curious. Also someone teach this guy how to summarize. I bet he's used all the paper and ink in printers because of his papers.

I didn't take a picture, but Professor Alban says "you must already know quite a bit" so I assume he's involved in all of this somehow. Obviously on the side of good, he knows where Elisabeth lives

Seriously, Raphael? You went through the trouble of posing with statues, but don't bother hanging the painting straight?

I still love it when Marie says "I don't care whose mother you are. I don't want you to die."

This game really should've used dead silence to indicate when someone has been shot.

I completely forgot about the murder robots. Love that Raphael is posing while shoving a robot. Also, I just can't get the hang of any minigame involving soccer balls.

Ending is still fun. Also, Fondue following theatre etiquette better than the Vergiers is amazing.

RIP the second phase of Isaac and Napoleon's plan.

In Marie's extra episode, I noticed these two lines. Nothing crazy but I completely forgot about them.

So, Family Ties, Charlie saying, "We'll see how your dark deeds fare in the harsh light of justice!" adds to my whole thing about if we got a sequel, Charlie probably would've been tied to the sun.

Overall, I had a great time! Glad I replayed it! I'm definitely looking forward to writing soon. ^v^

[howlingday]

Persemblance

1 / (2) / 3 / 4

Qrow: Hey. Some girl named Weiss Schnee went missing.

Qrow: All this work is such a pain! It's like people expect huntsmen to solve crimes or something!

Qrow: Ruby, get your uncle another beer.

Ruby: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Neptune: Weiss really isn't at school today...

Port: THAT'S BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD!

Neptune: It's almost like that crazy TV world we fell into has something to do with the murders!

Naaaaah.

Neptune: I can't just walk away this time. I need to find out why Weiss had to die like this!

Yang: Neptune...

Neptune: ...So can we go back in the TV again please, please, please~!

Sure.

Neptune: YAAAAAAAAY~! THIS IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME~!

--------------------------------------------------

Neptune: Alright, guys, this is going to be dangerous...

Neptune: So, I brought a rake!

Neptune: Also, Yang doesn't get to come!

Yang: Wh-What?! But I-

Neptune: Shut up and hold this rope!

Neptune: YAAAY, TV WORLD~!

--------------------------------------------------

Somewhat: Hey! It's you guys again!

Somewhat: Now I get it... You must be the ones throwing people in!

Neptune: SHUT UP AND TAKE OFF THAT SUIT!

Neptune: (Yanks Somewhat's head off)

Neptune & Somewhat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Somewhat: We must join forces~!

Somewhat: (Hands over glasses)

Neptune: What are these for?

Somewhat: So you can look cool during battles~!

Neptune: Battles- Wait! This is Weiss' parents door! I bet this place has something to do with how she di-

Somewhat: TUTORIAL FIGHT! TUTORIAL FIGHT!

Neptune: What?

Grimm: (Licks Neptune's face)

Neptune: WAIT, WHAT, WHAT IS THIS?!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF PERSONA~

The Rusted Knight: I AM THOU, THOU ART ME...

The Rusted Knight: WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILYYY~!

Somewhat: Okay, listen; some Grimm have weaknesses, but they never make any sense! So just guess until you get it right! Here, press this button to get a helpful analysis!

Somewhat: I'm CHEESED to see your GOUDA input skills and FONDUE diligence for this SQUEAKER of a battle~!

ZIO!

Somewhat: Wowie, sir~! That was amazing~! Don't you think so, what's your face?

Neptune: Hey, why don't you call me sir?

Somewhat: Because you're comic relief!

???: WHY DO I HAVE THE WORST DAUGHTER IN THE WORLD?!

Neptune: Is that Weiss' dad? I don't get it. Weiss always seemed like she was having fun at work... Y-You mean to tell me she WASN'T happy working at the store that drove her family out of business?!

Weiss: Hey, Neptune~!

Neptune: Yes, my sweet~?

Weiss: GO KILL YOURSELF!

Neptune: WHAT?! B-But we were gonna get married and have a million beautiful babies together!

?Neptune?: Whatever, man. She wasn't even that hot.

Somewhat: (Gasps) Two Neptunes?!

?Neptune?: More like one Neptune and one... AWESOME Neptune. Gee, living in the country sure is boring-

Neptune: NO, YOU'RE NOT ME, I WOULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT EVER!

Somewhat: Whoa~!

Neptune: Naptiiime~!

Grimm Neptune: SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE JUST ORDERED A STUPID LOOKING BOSS~! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ZIO!

Grimm Neptune: OW!

Neptune: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

Somewhat: You have to accept it, or it'll attack us again!

The strength of heart to face one's self has blah blah blah...

Neptune: Okay, fine, I guess I do kinda hate everything.

He has obtained the facade used to overcome life's hardships... THE PERSONA FARMER PIG MONK~!

Neptune: Sweet~! Maybe now we can save people who fall in here before they die!

Somewhat: Yeah~! You know, since you guys came in here, I've been wondering where I come from and-

Neptune: Yeah, whatever! See you later!

Somewhat: HUH?!

--------------------------------------------------

Neptune: Hey, we're ba- Oh, crap, I forgot about you.

Yang: You guys are jerks!

Yang: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~!

Neptune: Huh. I guess we should apologize.

Neptune: Later! I'm going to bed.

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: I'm wearing a kimono because I'm filling in for my mom at the inn we run!

--------------------------------------------------

TV: Blake Belladonna is wearing a kimono because she's filing in for her mom at the inn they run.

--------------------------------------------------

You should watch the midnight channel. There's a high school girl wearing a kimono on the screen. ...but you can't think of anyone who fits that description, so you decided to go to bed.

--------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: Helloooooooooooooooo~!

Ozpin: Person, persona, persona...

Ozpin: SOCIAL LINKS SOCIAL LINKS SOCIAL LINKS SOCIAL LINKS SOCIAL LINKS!

--------------------------------------------------

Neptune: Dude! I'm so excited to find out who's behind all these murders!

Neptune: Let's be friends~!

You became friends with Neptune~! Neptune will now DIE FOR YOU

Yang: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Yang: BLAKE'S MISSING! BLAKE'S MISSING!

Yang: BLAKE'S MISSING! BLAKE'S MISSING! BLAKE'S MISSING! BLAKE'S MISSING!

Yang: (Scroll buzzes, Answers) Oh, is this Blake? Yaaay~!

--------------------------------------------------

Qrow: Two bodies hanging from telephone poles... and we don't even know if this is a homicide yet.

Clover: Sir, I think we can probably assume it's a-

Qrow: Shut up, Ebi.

Qrow: We've got no clues about the perp. We don't even have a sus because the sec with the mo's got a perf al.

Clover: Sir, what are you even-

Qrow: SHUT UP, EBI.

Clover: Um, so what do we know about the case so far?

Qrow: The perp... is PROPBABLY in Patch!

ACE DETECTIVE~!

Qrow: Case closed! Let's get drunk.

Clover: Huh?!

--------------------------------------------------

...

Ruby: ...

[ladamedusoif]

Sleigh Ride (Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels x F!Reader)

A Merry Fic-Mas - December 10

Part of A Merry Fic-Mas: A Holiday Fic Calendar - click for masterlist.

Follow @ladameecrit for my writing updates!

Pairing: Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x F!Reader

Warnings: Established relationship; no use of Y/N; no physical descriptions of Reader; non canon-compliant (this man survives and gets the happy ending he deserved); alcohol consumption; references to smut. 

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1283

Summary: Jack is dashing, and so are you - dashing through the snow, that is.

For @agentjackdaniels, with love.

In the bright light of a sunny winter morning, you blink awake, peek your head above the covers, and swiftly retreat when you feel the first blast of cold on your nose. You nestle in again and reach out to Jack’s side of the bed, seeking heat from your own personal furnace.

Instead of Jack’s solid, warm body, though, you find a little note: 

Had to check on something out in the stables - be back around ten or so. Have some coffee and make sure you’re wrapped up nice and warm for me when I get back, sugar - got something I want to show you. J x

It wasn’t unusual for Jack to be up well before you when you stayed on his little ranch. He’d inherited it a couple of years ago from a favourite uncle, Joshua - “I don’t even have to change the signage, honey”, Jack had mused, looking at the wooden sign at the main entrance that announced, in beautiful old hand-painted lettering: SILVER RANCH - J. DANIELS.

It had become a retreat of sorts for the two of you. The main ranch house was small but solidly-built, decorated in a simple, old-fashioned style that you fell in love with from the first time you saw it. Silver Ranch was the perfect place to spend winter holidays: just you and your cowboy, taking in the surrounding trails on foot or on horseback, giggling over your attempts at fondue, or snuggled up together on the couch in front of the stone fireplace. 

Sometimes, you or Jack would pull a few blankets onto the warm rug right beside the fire: a statement of intent, and the signal for an evening spent making love there under the layers until the fire began to die down and it was time for bed. 

You help yourself to a cup of fresh coffee - Jack always ensured he made a large batch if he was up first - and make some toast before padding back towards the bedroom to get dressed and ready for whatever he had in store. Wrap up warm, he’d said, and you heed his advice, pulling out your thermal layers and adding your warmest socks, a soft, long-sleeved cotton t-shirt and jeans, and slipping a denim shirt and fleece gilet over the top. Your knee-length padded coat and snowboots were out in the hall, ready and waiting with your hat, scarf, and gloves. 

Equine noises and the sound of Jack’s warm voice outside the house signal his return. He calls your name as he enters, finding you on the armchair with a blanket over your knees. 

“Well, don’t you look mighty cosy?”

He’s always a sight for sore eyes, even in layer upon layer of his warmest winter clothing. You know that a pair of brushed-cotton long johns and a long-sleeved thermal vest lie beneath the dark jeans and padded jacket he’s wearing. He’s unzipped the jacket, revealing a warm woollen sweater layered over a plaid shirt, the collar of a grey cotton tshirt just visible. In one hand, Jack holds a felt, extra-warm hat you’d given him the previous Christmas, along with a scarf and his trusty pair of suede, fleece-lined winter gloves.

You grin at him. “I am cosy - but I’m prepared, too. See?” 

You stand up and show off your winter layers, basking in the glow of Jack’s approving smile. 

“And a good thing too, sugar. C’mon - wanna show you something a little bit special.”

It’s… a sleigh. A real-life, as-driven-by-Santa-Claus, straight-out-of-Doctor-Zhivago sleigh. Jemmy (short for Jameson, much to Jack’s chagrin), the favourite horse of Jack’s uncle, stands proudly ahead of the wooden vehicle, bobbing his head and sending joyful little chimes pealing from the sleigh bells - sleigh bells?! - affixed to his bridle. 

You close the door of the house and walk down the front steps, jaw hanging open at the sight before you. The sleigh is dark wood, antique but well-maintained, with red leather upholstery on the seating. Fading gold accents pick out curved detail carved into the old wood. It’s small - certainly compared to the whoppers usually depicted on Christmas cards or in representations of jolly Saint Nick - but perfectly made for two. You notice bundles of blankets neatly folded on the main seat, awaiting the passengers.

Jack holds Jemmy’s reins and pats the horse’s muzzle affectionately before turning and grinning at you. His cheeks are flushed pink with cold and excitement and even with his aviator sunglasses on, you know his eyes are twinkling. “Well? What’cha think?”

“Where did you get a sleigh, Jack Daniels?”

He chuckles and walks around to your side, helping you into the sleigh like the gentleman he is. “I found it out in one of the barns last time we were up here. Came up on my own a couple of times to work on it and get her nice and pretty for my girl. You like it?”

He’s already packing blankets around you, tucking you in so firmly you have to wriggle a little to be able to move. 

“It’s incredible, Jack. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen a real one of these, let alone been in one.”

He crosses to the other side and hops in quickly, pulling a couple of blankets around his own knees before draping one big enough for the two of you on top. You feel Jack’s strong arm, made even bigger thanks to the layers and layers of clothing he’s wearing, wrap around your shoulders as he kisses you before firmly replacing his hat on his head. 

“Well, we’ll start off nice and slow. And then if you want some authentic dashing through the snow - well, you just say the word, baby.”

With a gentle word and a flex of the reins in his practiced hands, Jemmy starts to move and the sleigh begins to glide through the snow.

The sleigh ride feels like being in an old movie, or a picture on a vintage Christmas card. There’s no sound other than Jemmy’s hooves, the crunching and whooshing as the sleigh’s runners cut through pure white snow, the jingling of the bells, and the chatter and laughter between you and Jack. 

It is heaven.

You lean against your love’s shoulder, feeling a warmth course through you that has nothing to do with the thermal layers and Jack’s insistence on bundling you up for the journey. This is so him, you think - planning and preparing for this day for months, just to give you something special. Something shared just between the two of you. You sit up and lean in to kiss his cheek.

Jack chuckles, his beautiful, open face flushed pink and a sprinkling of powdery snow visible on his dark moustache. “So you like the sleigh, sugar?”

You nod and nestle back in against him. “I do. It’s a beautiful thing.”

He hums happily and nods towards your feet. “You'll find a little something extra down there, to keep us nice and warm until we get home.”

The chrome of the hip flask is blinding in the stark whiteness of the landscape and the bright sunlight. You help yourself before passing it to Jack, who takes a grateful swig and exhales. The warm vapor of his whiskey-scented breath is visible in the cold air as he rounds the furthest point of the trail and turns the sleigh for home. 

dividers by @stcvcngrant

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for not wanting to die?

Let me explain. I (22 m) got kidnapped on my way to work the other day and i woke up in a weird dark room with a chalkboard. Some lady (30 f) covered in fondue showed me percentages of mine and a bunch of other people’s survival rates for some sort of death game…and mine was 0.0% meaning I was DOOMED TO DIE no matter what. The one with the highest percentage out of 16 people (17 f) had 15.5%, so she’s surely a master manipulator taking advantage of everyone to kill us all and win, right? Anyways I stood strong. I was determined to live somehow, so I took on the name of my late best friend (I don’t know his age) to disguise my identity, cause clearly my enemy had seen these papers too right?

When the death game began I was civil to her! I was nice. We investigated floor one together. I let her keep a GUN even though she could probably KILL someone with it. Because I’m NICE. But then after some teacher guy (30 m) died in a vote (I was one of the ones who voted for him but he was suspicious and I didn’t know he’d die okay!) I was poking around this hidden room, and I showed her a computer I found, but then she left soon after to keep looking around because the teacher’s former student or whatever ran off or something. I found out that the girl with the highest percentage.. her LAST NAME was the password to the computer!! And I read through a bunch of emails proving that she’s involved with this death game somehow!!! But then I got hit in the head with a frying pan and when the main game did roll around NOBODY BELIEVED ME and I told everyone that she was dangerous and the emails were PROOF!!! But NOBODY BELIEVED ME!! A very punk lesbian is now really mad at me for “emotionally manipulating a 14-year-old into working with me” too but she doesn’t have any of the context for that. She teamed up with me willingly, I just happened to use some of the elements of the death game to help convince her. The only *bad* thing I did didn’t even affect (15.5)!! I just placed a card fhat just happened to have lead to her friend’s(17 m) death where he would find it, that’s not my fault! And also some furry kid called me a LONER.Currently sitting in my room on the next floor typing this into my voting tablet and once again everyone’s siding with poor poor (15.5) ohh poor (15.5) her best friend is dead oh boo hoo, and calling me a loner and ‘untrustworthy’ and other insults and treating me like I’M the asshole like she’s not gonna kill us all!!

So, I ask you. Am I, a doomed man who just wants to live, the asshole?

[thewhumpcaretaker]

𝕺𝖓 𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕱𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

Note: I wrote this years ago when I was thinking about the concept of lust and found it today. ʚ♡ɞ

Never forget that we,

Like kittens at their yarn, pursue.

And when you chased the fairies down,

The goblin kings and dwarven crowns,

By hyacinths and in brittle aspen’s highest bough,

Where reckless kittens after little moths pursue, pursue,

What did you want to do?

Simply to know, by trembling caress,

That finds its halting way or makes its sudden trespass,

Either way breathless until

The scent of honeyed morn on yonder hill

Or sweat that tastes like spice of foreign fears, labors and loves unknown in these tame parts,

Finds lungs that shudder, winglike, in your breast,

Drives them through sprouting shoulder blades, through cardiac arrest,

Endowed with the levitation of power,

And do you reach? You do not know yourself, you cannot guess,

It has you now, desire,

That freckle-starred and fair,

That hair like cotton candy sunrise spins,

Or lace confection veil of a mourning bride,

Silver, pastel, carnival prize to win,

Blonde, angelic, to be buried in.

What do you wish?

To keep a jar, possess and tint in cola colored washes,

To own, to keep and make stay, to have to hold, and by this holding, see?

To use, to break? To be

Swallowed in a cloud?

Buried, with another body as your shroud?

What do bodies want,

To cherishingly crush the fragile, squeeze the darkly adored

Into powder, strike them like a chord,

And into a lightning storm release,

Follow the butchered ghost into the blaze,

Frenzied, to feast?

To taste the fleshy candy, sugared meat,

Were they of pomegranate blood and hot fondue, or did they proffer you

Sweatmeats beyond compare,

Fresh chestnuts where

Hearts beat in margination of a caramelized desperation,

Or,

Abandoning all metaphor,

Did you wish to fuck nymphs, happily kidnapped,

Too gentle and pure for your insatiable greed to stain,

That turn instead your insides gold and hollow from the loin and rot the veins?

Or did you wish to pay with your own cum and your own name,

Make wild love to twisted, pulsing horns while forked tongue lapped your thighs and spat a salted flame?

Did you wish to be bound and stolen,

Abandon all remembering and enter a slumbering,

Where ten thousand days unfold as handmaiden,

Desperate, adoring slave, rose laden,

To be kept in crystal, bell jars and castles in the stars,

To flail against the bars,

And then be broken, marred,

Into a better shape, to be reborn?

To cook sumptuous feasts from glamour and the air,

In gilded cages, warm, waxy drops of amber, and paralysis of fairy kiss,

Beneath the soil, be preened and wed to kings in amber halls,

Bewitched, resisting, to unearthly bliss,

Nun to a peerless, brutal, Pagan creature-god of beauty awful to behold,

Our lord the devil in her harlequin and gold,

Or, by bacchanalia rhapsody of lithe and lively riverdanse macabre,

Know his catlike motion and her deftness with a moonlight woven knife,

Its sting,

To die, impaled on his maple lily wings,

To walk hand in hand with one you cannot understand, and then to understand

A vivid moral compass, spinning, spinning in the depths,

And yet always pointing true,

For it always points the way desired by you.

Didn’t you wish,

To know your own soul’s lavish price,

To know what things

Lie beyond man’s kingdom and be given these,

Be given to these?

What happiness

And misery exist

Beyond even what exists -

The evils that we can imagine if we wish to be

Happy

Flailing ever forward into deeper reaches of paradox fantasy,

Where love’s most bitter, lashing embers stir,

Never to return,

Ever to pursue...

Think: if you caught a fairy,

What did you want to do?

And did you want to catch him, did you want her to catch you?

[bellepeppertronix]

Every time I see lava floes, I always think it's a little unfair that it looks like it tastes good.

Like I know I would instantly die if I took a bite, but it looks like it would taste like spicy cheese fondue, or really melty salsa con queso.

[lepoppeta]

Song asks: CharPentious

this was even harder than vaggiebomb holy cow

charpentious is probably my favourite charlie ship (theres like... negative art of it so i have to placate myself with the oodles of delicious charlastor drawings available). pentious and charlie are on the exactly same wavelength of golden retriever dumbass that they feed off of each other in this wonderful pocket ecosystem of support and positivity. they would undoubtedly make everyone else around them absolutely sick to their very gums and thats honestly half the fun.

the thing that was tripping me up about these two and finding songs was trying to find something that wasnt super generic - its all well and good to use any happy love song, but those can be applied to any number of situations. i wanted to try and be a little more niche. i dont know how successful i was.

love is an open door (frozen, sung by kristen bell and santino fontana)

all my life has been a series of doors in my face, and then suddenly i bump into you (i was thinking the same thing! cause like - ive been searching my whole life to find my own place, and maybe its the party talking, or the chocolate fondue)

one of the things i really wanted to highlight about the potential for these two is how EASY i think their relationship would be. after years of being met with adversity and ridicule, heres someone who doesnt think youre stupid or that your dreams are too big or that your inventions are too gaudy and complicated - they think its WONDERFUL. they think YOURE wonderful, in all of your goofiness, because within that lies sincerity.

something to believe in (newsies, sung by jeremy jordan and kara lindsay)

til the moment i found you, i thought i knew what love was. now im learning what is true - that love will do what it does. the world finds ways to sting you, and then one day it decides to bring you

something to believe in for even a night. one night may be forever, but thats alright - thats alright. and if youre gone tomorrow, what was ours will still be. i have something to believe, now that i know you believed in me.

(we was never meant to meet, and then we meet - who knows why. one more stranger on the street, just someone sweet passing by. an angel come to save me, who didnt even know she gave me

something to believe in for even a day. one day may be forever, but thats okay - thats okay. and if im gone tomorrow, what was ours will still be. i have something to believe in, now that i know you believed in me.)

i dont normally copy down that many lyrics, but they fit so well that i had to include all of them!

one of my favourite things about charlie ships is that (ideally) she wins over the other party simply by being kind and almost aggressively genuine. while i have my own opinions on how characters work and what they are within the universe, this song becomes heartbreaking if you put it in the context of show canon and have it be the last duet they have before heaven comes to attack - pentious calls her an angel, and they say that even though he/they might die tomorrow (which, as we all know, is what happens), it doesnt change the fact that charlie forgave pentious and allowed him the oppurtunity of redemption, and pentious in turn actually put in effort and became the hotels proof of concept.

[sanjismuskyarmpits]

In the dating simulator, if you flirt with Dark Fondue, their response is so devastatingly harsh and humiliating you instantly die

they say human resources murdered the player character with their voice. shouted them apart.

[clavissionary-position]

▍ smutty crack

G I L B E R T ⨉ R E A D E R

GILBERT, I NEED―

• • • • • CONTENT WARNING: crack . smut . angst don't read if you value having brain-cells

I M P O R T A N T ! please don't read/like/reblog this post if you are a minor or have no indication in your bio that you are 18+ (or you will be blocked)

"GILBERT I NEED TO SEE YOUR PENIS," you shout first-thing in the morning. You've just awoken from a completely unrelated dream about watching a duck cross the road. Now you're sitting up in your bed, pointing at the wall in front of you, your shoulders heaving from that valiant war-cry.

Fortunately, your room is empty.

Unfortunately, Gilbert is standing in your open doorway. Right smack-dab in the center, with both hands on his cane and legs astride the giant arrow painted onto the floor labeled simply "Definitely Not Belle". There's no draft, but his hair is doing shampoo-commercial things.

And his pants are still on.

Of course his pants are still on. Why would his pants not be on?

You eye his dominant hand and its proximity to his belt. 15 inches. You could fit a massive hot dog in that span.

But wait. What if he prefers to use his non-dominant hand to undo his belt?

But double-wait. What if he's ambidextrous and the odds are closer to fifty-fifty?

Left hand. Right hand. Left hand. Right hand. Left hand. Right hand. Left hand. Right ha-

Gilbert tilts his head, his lashes framing his eye with mermaid-levels of come-hither energy. "Are you looking for something?"

Peenbert. Moisturized.

"Not really." You clear your dick-ready throat. "I just woke up, so…"

Gilbert begins walking, and it's important to note that each stride is as sensual as chocolate fondue dripping off a cock. At least as observed by your emotionally-compromised eyes.

Mmmm, hnnngggg, fondue-play. You curl your lips over your gums as if Gilbert has slapped his chocolate-covered cock across your teeth.

You want him to drip the Obsidian crest onto your belly with his fondue dick. You want the tip of the rifle to end on your left nipple, because you're a little more sensitive on that knob. You want him to cradle your head in his hand as he pumps chocolate-infused Gil-juices onto your panting tongue. You want him to seize your jaw and ram it shut, and then move it around as if making you chew, all while he coos "Mmm, Gilbert is so yummy" in an extremely patronizing, extremely sexy way.

Back in reality, Gilbert taps over to your window with his cane and lifts it to part one of them to the side. "A lie first-thing in the morning. You've grown fearless as of late."

If by 'fearless' he means 'prepared to deep-throat and die', he is not wrong.

"How do you know I'm lying?"

Gilbert idly scratches his back with his cane. "Because I have ears." His eye narrows as if he's pleasuring himself.

Ah, yes. That's right. You screamed for his penis so loud that you left a crack in the window-pane.

Oh God, it's a dick-shaped crack. How in God's name is that physically possible? Is this your superpower? Are you doomed to save the lives of innocents by screaming artistic representations of Gilbert's dick onto buildings?

You open your mouth and words fall out. "Maybe I'm looking for the other Gilbert's penis."

Gilbert looks at you with a blinding smile. "The other Gilbert?"

You tried to think fast but it had cum at a cost.

Come. Come at a cost.

"Mhmm. Yes. The other Gilbert. With the… other penis…"

You want to say that made a lot more sense in your head, but it really didn't.

Gilbert's smile deepens and his eye takes on an excited sparkle. "He has two penises?"

"Mhmm." You nod. "Two." You hold up two fingers in a v-shape in front of your mouth and then immediately put it down when you realize what you're doing.

"How did he come to have two penises?" Why is he enjoying this story? Does Gilbert want two penises? Is one just not cutting it?

"Um… well…" You wrack your brain for more genius thoughts. "There was a freak-accident during a thunderstorm and…"

Gilbert climbs onto your bed and sits cross-legged. "And then?"

Please stop, Gilbert, you beg with your eyes. You both know you're lying. There's no need to keep up this charade. "And then he sneezed, and suddenly he had another dick."

"What did he name it?"

"Should he…have?"

Gilbert looks at you, aghast. "That's the first thing you do when you have a dick!"

"Does your dick have a name?"

His shock morphs into innocence. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

You'd laugh it off if it was anybody other than Gilbert threatening your life over the name of his dick. This man wants you to know absolutely nothing about himself. He and his dick are the national secret.

"Just kidding," he says, pinching your nose and giving it a rough twist. "It doesn't have a name. Would you like to give it one?"

Come again?

"I'm serious."

"I didn't say anything."

"You said it with your cute little, gaping"―Gilbert thumbs your bottom lip―"mouth."

You're trying so hard not to moan or look down at his crotchal region. That vast, forbidden paradise, the gates of which must be wrought of steel and guarded by… well, not literal soldiers, but figurative ones, in pretty armor with little helmets shaped like penis-heads. 'You shall not pass' they would say to you, being fans of a certain franchise. But then Gilbert himself, a spectral projection of the actual Gilbert, would ride through the gates on his penis-shaped segway and hold out his hand like a fairy-tale prince, inviting you into his…

Oh wow, how long have you just been sitting here petting Gilbert through his pants?

"I am so―"

Gilbert catches your withdrawing hand and slaps it back over his bulge. "You're not going to stop halfway, are you?"

"Wait, you're already half-way?"

He gives you a deadpan look. "Funny." He curls his hand around yours curling around his length.

Oh sweet honey badger tits, this is for real. This hardness, this solidity, this grand scepter of unadulterated power. This is the dick which commands armies and crushes foes into dust. The dick destined for the imperial throne. Its magnificent shape exalts your palm and ascends your entire forearm into Glory with a capital G. Tears stream down your face.

Gilbert slaps your hand away.

"These are happy tears."

Gilbert slaps your hand back.

"Other Gilbert will be so jealous," you whisper nonsensically, foaming at the mouth. No other person in history has ever derived such immaculate pleasure from being on the giving end.

Gilbert grunts softly as your fingernail pokes against his tip. The wetness traveling across the fabric only makes you want to clamp your mouth around him while sticking your ass in the air for Gilbert to clap like bongos. It has to be that specific position, because you read it in a dirty book two weeks ago and have spiritually-masturbated to the mental image every night since.

"Has Other Gilbert ever…" Gilbert lifts his chin as he chokes out another gasp. A bead of sweat rolls down from under his eyepatch in HD4K. Or he's crying. But he's probably not crying.

"I'm not crying. You're crying."

"I am," you say, still sobbing from the euphoric majesty of this experience. "I definitely am. But what were you going to say?"

Gilbert's head comes down on your shoulder. His teeth clamp onto your skin with the force of someone who's just overheard the funniest joke during a funeral and is trying desperately not to laugh.

"Ouchies," you comment. But in truth you barely notice the pain because the dick in your grasp has grown to encompass the whole of your reality.

But Gilbert still switches to cute, squirrel-like nibbles. You've been promoted from rabbit to acorn, just as God intended.

His breathing is even louder now, so close to your ear. If your superpower is super-sonic dick-graffiti, Gilbert's is brainwashing you, with the mere, sweet staccato of his sighs, into thinking you can suck his dick for 2000 hours straight without repercussions.

You believe in the Gilbert that believes in you. If you can't suck dick for that long now, no matter. You will learn. You will practice daily on the yellow fruit known as the banana. You will procure hot dogs only to divorce them from their bun and marry them to your cavernous maw. If Onepunch Man can train himself into godhood with 1000 pushups a day, you can do the same with 1000 daily blowjobs upon phallic-adjacent food.

But part of you wonders how much of this is an act on Gilbert's part. He's never been one to show himself unguarded. And he's every bit the kind of man to fuck with you just to see what you'll do.

He'd never just fuck you though. Maybe the act in itself has no particular meaning for him, but if it involves you...

Oh no, his sexy breathing is making you have lovey-dovey thoughts. Oh no, have you secretly been in love with Gilbert this whole time? Gilbert and not his Triple-S-20-Star-Gacha-Tier Penis? Shouldn't this revelation come after you do?

On the flip-side, your deep and profound introspection has translated into maddeningly sensual strokes of your hand. Or so you imagine, because Gilbert's leaving hickies on you a mile a minute now.

Hmm. What if you bring your hand around the underside...like this... and with his balls...

Gilbert meows.

Like a literal meow.

You're suddenly looking up at the ceiling as Gilbert cups your hand to his freed cock and presses down on you. Keeping your hand still, he grinds himself into your palm in the most beautiful undulation of the human body that you've ever seen. A dancer could not accomplish this. An earthworm, maybe.

"What are you thinking?" Gilbert asks you between deep thrusts and barely-maintained breathing.

You pull the excess snot up back through your nose. "You don't know?"

"Not in this moment." His smile is sad and gorgeous at the same time. "You feel faraway somehow. Like I'm seeing a part of you that I knew nothing about."

"Do you get off on saying angsty things at just the right moment?"

Gilbert grins as his pace picks up.

You reach your free hand up and around to gently grip his back. "I'm thinking about how beautiful you are."

He laughs. "Zero points for originality."

"Do you want me to lie to you?"

"Yes," he says, and it seems to surprise him as much as it surprises you. A drop of sweat falls from his chin onto your cheek. He leans in to kiss it away, hesitating for a second because some of your snot slipped onto your cheek when you'd turned your head briefly to check the time. "Yes," he repeats, as if trying to convince himself more than he's trying to convince you. His voice sounds hoarse. His kiss to your cheek lands like rain.

You don't even remember when he comes because you're too busy hugging him super, super, super hard. Not just Peenbert, but Gilbert.

Ah. Peenbert. That's right.

You tell Gilbert the name.

He chuckles and flicks a dried booger from your upper lip.

For a second you think he's going to eat it.

The end.

[danvillecheese]

it’s been more than a year since phineas waved goodbye we hoped it was an ending that would satisfy plus there’s always reruns so the show will never die but now people write us letters and they ask us why don’t wanna seem ungrateful or sound like a jerk it was a whole lotta fun but a whole lotta work we were exhausted for a decade counting years that’s ten so what are we gonna do now that it’s come to an end relax take a break try not to over extend no we’re gonna do it again with milo murphy’s law you might know the name from all the promos you saw we’re not resting on our laurels just eating fondue we’re working hard right yeah it’s true we’re gonna do it again that’s we’re not quitting new stories new characters new rhymes we’re spittin it’s a brand new show with a new point of view but if you like phineas you’ll like this too so what can go wrong will go wrong that’s murphy’s law and if you’re living it you gotta be strong meet milo the youngest in the murphy family he lives his whole life inside a cyclone of calamity for someone who handles adversity with such poise where in the world would we find the right voice the disney casting department has never steered foul so we called them up we said we want weird al and they just made it happen here he is in a recording and here’s a bunch of random shots of people storyboarding it’s a long long process and it’s really complicated we already did a video on how we animated we did yeah a few years back oh that’s right well we’re gonna do it again for milo murphy’s law a new behind the scenes video with a rap song score we did one for phineas this a sequel to it with a brand new crew it’s only fair we’re gonna do it again that’s right we’re not stopping just be glad you don’t see me and swampy poppin and lockin we’re working hard yeah bringing this new show to you but if you liked phineas you’ll like this too along with weird al we’ve got a great cast of voices from the channel and beyond all our top choices we’ve got sabrina carpenter we’ve got mekai curtis chrissy fit jemaine clement whaaat I think they heard us ming-na kate micucci diedrich bader christian slater there’s also me and swampy but we don’t show up til later so set your dvr cus you are gonna wanna see milo murphy’s law on disney xd if you want more information like a real insider just check the local listings on your provider check the local listings on your provider word