#Florida things

[sixty-silver-wishes]

I WAS LITERALLY JUST WONDERING IF SHE WAS STILL ALIVE LOL

Anyway, enjoy this masterpiece:

Ding Dong That fucking Bitch is dead

[tobbogan-13]

edit: “wheres Lidl” “where where’s piggly wiggly” “where’s HEB” THERES ONLY 12 SLOTS THATS WHY I PUT A “Something Else” OPTION!!!! /lh

another edit: I’m not saying that publix is affordable or practical (i completely agree, it’s fucking expensive) i just said it was the best. Also pub subs are fire.

[hollow-head]

me standing on the beach shouting "Go Helene! Go!" at the sea because I want the day off work tomorrow

[adiraofthetals]

Don't worry, Rin, I will make sure the alligators won't eat you.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

drag queen named rhonda santis

[fogerist]

She be hurricaning

[junipernight]

Greetings from the eye of a Hurricane.

[geeky-politics-46]

Things that bother & irritate me a stupid amount as a Floridian (& amazingly this has nothing to do with politics)...

When people refer to alligator Loki as a crocodile or call him Croki instead of something like Lokigator.

That is very clearly an alligator. Alligators & crocodiles are very different. I literally see an alligator, maybe every couple of days here in Florida & live within a football field of probably at least a couple. From the coloring to the snout. Very clearly a gator.

Also, no, if you're being chased by an alligator, do not run in zig zags. They won't chase you for very long. They tend to lunge more than really chase.

Thank you for attending my TED talk for non-Floridians.

[lunar-lavenderr]

the founding fathers fought for our freedom to park like this btw

[antvnger]

hey Florida boy! Would you do this?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_HYLYwvqEY/?igsh=MWdjZTJmenI5aDltdg==

I never know what you’ll end up showing me, but it always feels accurate.

And yeah, I probably would do this.

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A post shared by Only in Florida (@onlyinfloridaa)

[tobbogan-13]

I was bored during lunch so I was looking through clever, and I realized there was this digital theatre app (I forgot the name) but there were a TON of proshots on there Including Falsettos + like, information and interpretations of it but OF COURSE cause mr fucking ron desantis is a little sensitive snowflake it'd blocked

like yeah I have it on YouTube but it's just the principle of it

LET ME WATCH FALSETTOS

Kinky Boots was also blocked

[niennanir]

The Great Opening of the Windows

I am pleased to announce the single most important day in the Florida Calendar. It was 56 when I got out of bed this morning. On this day we usher in the fresh air, the season of picnics and street festivals, grilling season, outdoor sports, the functional end of tropical storms. Before you know it the Iguanas will be falling from the trees and the Snowbirds will migrate south for the winter.

[levysfailsafe]

Finding out how many tornado warnings there was in South florida was crazy. In my area we didn't have much rain, just mainly wind. We were spared and thank God it didn't head this way. But it's still concerning that new some family member's homes or the northern part of south florida had the biggest tornado i have ever heard of. 2miles wide, i believe in FT Lauderdale.

Never in my life have i heard of that. When i was younger the most i have heard of is the water spouts when it comes in and those tiny quick tornadoes. But an EF-3/EF-4 tornado is CRAZY and not heard of for Floridians. A lot of people I know have been complaining about headaches, and i think it's the quick change in pressures. It's weird. Also we had a purplish sky which is apparently due to the solar flares.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

Original Poem: "They Say God's Got A House Down in Florida"

They say God’s got a house down in Florida

With beams made of heron wing bones

A ceiling of palmetto branches

And the furniture’s made of limestone.

The door is a pale pink conch shell,

The windows magnolia roots,

A hurricane makes up the driveway,

And the lawn’s black mangrove shoots.

They say God’s got a house down in Florida

Where the sunset’s flaming gold

You can walk around in your sandals all year

Because not an inch of it ever gets cold.

Orange juice flows from a fountain,

There’s grapefruits as big as your head,

And if you’re feeling tired, you can rest your eyes

On a swaying sawgrass bed.

They say God’s got a house down in Florida,

Maybe somewhere down in the Keys,

You can see the whole thing through a spyglass

And come and go as you please.

There’s no theme parks and no highways,

No Disney World or I-4,

Just gather all your friends around you

And take the Green Flash up to the door.

They say God’s got a house down in Florida

Despite what they say on the news

Despite the castles on the seashore

Built by podiums, politicians, and pews

It must be standing somewhere

Just to give me peace of mind,

They say God’s got a house down in Florida

Though it seems a bit hard to find.

[niki-riki-nishimura-riki]

Chat, am I surviving this hurricane?

[junipernight]

The linemen came to my work today! 🎉

One of them pulled me aside while I was hauling debris to let me know that we could make a fortune on Etsy with all the bamboo we were clearing 😂