#Finally. They Have an In. so i think they have a goofy cartoon montage where they nab someone's coat/boots/etc. that people have left out +

[poptartmochi]

tee and hee-ing 🦐

[mar64ds]

Okay! I have been thinking about toons, I thought I could share something about my mickey toontown story, but I don’t really like calling it the ‘toontown au’ anymore. The original name and the one I’ll call it from now on is and was ‘New Mouse in Town’. The thing is, I’m extremely busy with many projects, from OC stuff, to the sam&max ‘fangame’, to just overall short random drawing ideas that I need to immediately draw. Right now I’m not really motivated to build a huge story with this, but it is an idea I like to imagine from time to time, like as if it was a show I would make and I would just steal all the characters from disney. So, I do HAVE the structure of the pilot written, some dialogue too, and I thought why not, let’s share it! It’s still a draft so of course it doesn’t feel complete, but to give you an overall idea of an introduction, as well as some changes.

Enjoy!

“We are introduced to Mickey, who needs no introduction. This version of him, he hasn’t met any of his friends yet, so he is a bit of a newbie. He is overly positive and pretty corny, like how he is in the Paul Rudish shorts, but probably a bit less, because I’m not funny enough to capture that Mickey.

Mickey talks to the taxi driver, the turtle from the Oswald cancelled show, and talks about how he is moving to Toontown, a wonderful town full of toons, including celebrities like Bugs Bunny. We give a bit of a hint towards his past, implying that he might not have been happy before but this town will finally be his chance to make friends.

Mickey arrives in town and he interacts with a couple of well-known characters, like Roger Rabbit, Kermit the frog, [include any well known cartoon or puppet character]

After that montage of cameos, Mickey decides to sing a song, but is immediately stopped by a toon, Oswald. Oswald tells him what the hell he thinks he’s doing, Mickey is confused and tries to sing again but Oswald tries to stop him and tell him he can’t do that here. Other toons tell Oswald that as long as it isn’t a big song or anything that it can’t be too bad and that Oswald is a grouch anyway. This makes Oswald mad so he just shut ups and leaves. Mickey starts to sing and oh no it IS a big song. In one part of his musical number, he sings that his name is Mickey Mouse and that caughts Oswald’s attention, but then Mickey is immediately interrupted by three cogs, they hand him a musical number fee, Mickey is confused, the three cogs look at each other in silence and they tell him to come with them to ask him a few questions, but Mickey obviously rans away. The cogs follow him and Oswald does so too at a distance.

Chase sequence, a lot of visual jokes are meant to be placed on this scene, too bad we can’t see them on a written script, too good i don't have to come up with them right now. In this sequence we are introduced to Mickey’s well known friends, but without really introducing them properly yet, just a way to let the audience know what’s coming. When Mickey rans away he sees that a girl has lost her scarf and while he rans away he also runs after the scarf, because Mickey is just way too nice like that. He bumps into Daisy and apologizes so much that Daisy finds it amusing and sweet, when he rans away and the cogs ask her if she has seen a mouse running away she directs them to the wrong direction. He sees a hungry dog (Pluto) and quickly buys him a hot dog, which later makes Pluto bites the cogs. Goofy is lost and looking for directions and Mickey stops and gives him the right direction, which later makes Goofy give the cogs a purposely wrong direction as to where Mickey went. Mickey quickly gets in a bus and bumps into Donald who looks really depressed, so Mickey gives him a short but very nice and sweet conversation before he gets out of the bus. Mickey finally gets the girl’s scarf and surprise surprise it was Minnie’s, who was chasing for it too. He gives it to her and they have a cute moment, Minnie leaves and Mickey is so distracted that he immediately gets caught by the cogs lol

Mickey is finally captured and sent to a court where he is judged by multiple cogs. They ask him questions and Mickey doesn’t really know how to reply, the Cogs threaten with ‘taking his heart’ and Mickey is horrified and confused. Then Oswald shows up and shouts that he is just new in town. The Cogs are like ‘oooooh okay, yeah that was the second option’. The Cogs then explain how this town works now, they explain it through with a villain musical number too, but it's a bit off-key and ends very abruptly because most cogs don’t really like musicals lol which contrasts Mickey’s musical number at the beginning of the episode. It is explained that too much fun is prohibited, too much hope is prohibited, too many jokes are prohibited, toons need jobs and be mature and be more serious. That’s how things work and if he tries to do anything against that, there WILL be consequences.

This is a world where the cogs won against the toons not too long ago, they have taken over the town and toons have to follow rules or else they’d be punished. As mentioned before, cogs have found out that the hearts of toons is the source of their joy, hope and comedy, and taking it out would leave a toon empty and depressed, and not long after that there is a chance they could permanently die.

Now the question is, where does Mickey live, because the cogs were not informed of any new habitant. Mickey says that in toontown you can just move in and a house made for you will show up magically, but of course the cogs say that’s not how it works anymore, you need to pay for a house. Mickey CAN’T pay for that house. So he’s asked that whether he finds a solution or it’s better he leaves and go back to his old home

Mickey and Oswald get out of the building, Mickey looks around the town, the town he thought was going to be joyful and hopeful, and he starts to notice the misery all around it. He’s sad and sits down on a bus station. Oswald asks him what he’s going to do, Mickey says that he’s not sure. Oswald gives him a bunch of money to at least stay in a hotel, and advices that maybe he should just go back when he can. But Mickey tells him he really wants to be here, he wants to meet new people and he wants new people to meet him, he wants to call this place home. And whether the cogs are here or not, he wants to help, he wants to make people less miserable. Oswald is a bit surprised after hearing this, he asks Mickey that that’s nice but WHERE is he going to live. That stops Mickey for a second and he says he doesn’t know. Oswald takes a moment to think, and sighs, and tells Mickey he can live with him for a while. Mickey is shocked, he barely knows Oswald and Oswald doesn’t even seem to like him, but he’s overjoyed to hear this. The episode ends with Mickey and Oswald walking down the street, while everything seems sad and hopeless, there is a bit of spark coming from Oswald and Mickey’s banter. Maybe there is hope after all.”

[heloflor]

Finally saw the Mario movie last Thursday (I like to wait a week so that the theatre is emptier) and here are my 2 cents on it (very long post + spoilers ahead) :

- First of all note that I’ve seen many spoilers before going in because I didn’t know what to expect so I wanted to know what people thought of it, but it’s one of those movies where knowing things in advance doesn’t ruin the enjoyment for me. Hell I intended to go with no expectations whatsoever and reading spoilers actually got me a bit more excited about it.

- Overall, it was fun. Like many people here already said, the movie really could’ve used more time in order to be more character-focused, and I’ll admit I got a bit bored by the time the third act rolled in. But if you just want to have a good time, it’s a good movie for that. Nothing groundbreaking, but fun enough.

- As an adaptation as in “bringing the world into the big screen regardless of the story”, I do think that it does a fantastic job at it ! Absolutely everything feels like it comes straight out of the games. And while some references are a bit in your face, most of them flow very naturally with the world they created. It’s especially impressive how they managed to make a small Toad Town work while mixing it with platforming elements.

- The story is simple like you’d expect but sometimes simple is effective, and I do think this is one of those times. Only issue is that simple stories are meant to be carried by the characters, and there was a heavy lack of character-focused moments. On top of this you have the weird pacing, in particular the promise of a great adventure only to have a 15 seconds montage and boom, Kong Kingdom.

- The action was honestly very good all around ! They knew how to idolize both the power-ups and the environments, and it looked really cool !

- At first I thought people were exaggerating when saying there was too much slow-mo but after the 6th time or so…yeah, there was too much of it.

- Loved when the music used were remixes from the games or songs like the Mario Cartoon theme/DK rap ! Not so much when it was random pop music…

- Usually when I see people gush over characters I tend to view it as exaggeration but OH MY GOD I CANNOT OVERSTATE HOW MUCH I LOVE BOWSER IN THIS !!! As someone who grew up with Super Paper Mario I can assure you he is 100% in character and he is literally the best thing about the movie ! They managed to bounce off of both his menacing and goofy sides in an amazing way and I cannot get enough of him ! Kinda wish we saw his kids tho : /

- As someone who doesn’t ship it, I wasn’t expecting to enjoy the sexual tension scene between Bowser and Luigi as much as I did but damn that scene is gay ! Love it !

- The humor was something I was really afraid going in and I was honestly surprised by how medium-good it was actually ! Can’t say I laughed every time but the bros shenanigans definitely was fun.

- On that note I could’ve watched an hour long movie of just the two bros doing Brooklyn stuff. This whole sequence was adorable.

- Speaking of Brooklyn, the ending was…weird on that front. First of all I’m surprised Mario didn’t expect the Bullet Bill to arrive in Brooklyn and literally kill everyone (like dude, do you realize how dangerous that thing is ???) and second of all those people are surprisingly calm to see the invasion of a whole other species. Seriously, why are these people so chill about it ?

- I guess I could also mention the fact that there’s no dialogue related to Mario and Luigi deciding to settle into the Mushroom Kingdom but considering the lack of development in everything else, I’m not surprised they went so fast on that.

- I’d also add that the ending of the Rainbow Road scene felt a bit jarring in how dramatic it was, though I don’t know how to explain it other than saying it felt like the movie didn’t “deserve” to have such a dramatic moment ? Really not sure how to explain it better… And on that note, the whole “fake death/everyone think they’re dead” moment with Mario and DK felt very unnecessary, but at least they didn’t drag it out.

- Last negative comment on the story itself because it is so true : I saw the review of a French youtuber (Mayo-Lek) and he pointed out how the whole story is about Mario and Peach going to the Kong Kingdom for help, only for the Kongs to get kidnapped a few minutes later. So…what was the point in asking for their help if they ultimately don’t do anything ?

- Going back to the characters, Luigi was great ! And like everyone else here, I do wish he would’ve had more screen time. But other than that, love his character for what we saw of him.

- The Luma that is apparently divisive amongst people was very funny in my opinion. Also at some point they literally get out of their cell for a second there ! Tells you all you need to know about their character (low-key surprised they didn’t jump into the lava by themselves but then again it’s a kids movie).

- That blue-shelled koopa dude clearly loves his job. Good for him. Weirdly enough, his enthusiasm in trying to kill Mario makes him very fun and a pretty compelling character for the small screen time he had.

- Toad was…there. At least he was entertaining instead of annoying. So that’s a plus.

- Btw the fact that they didn’t have Toadsworth was already a bit sad but THEY HAD ANOTHER TOAD WHO HAD THE EXACT SAME ROLE AS HE DID WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL NINTENDO ??!!! WHY DO YOU HATE ORIGINAL DESIGNS SO MUCH ???

- Kinda random but I don’t know the reference for that Kong who drove Mario and co to Cranky Kong, so my only thought was “it should’ve been Funky Kong”. I mean he had the glasses ! And yes I know Funky is in the movie in the background.

- I cannot fucking stand Donkey Kong. Not exactly sure what kind of personality I expected them to give him since he doesn’t really have one in the games, but I absolutely hate what they did with him. “Boastful douchebag with nothing in their brain who tries to be the center of attention constantly and annoy the hell of everyone around him” is a type of character, and on that note a type of person, that I can’t fucking stand. That being said giving him a power up for a minute was really cool and made for a great action scene ! Same for his fight with Mario in the arena, but again the action in general was really good.

- Peach. Oh Peach. Peaches. Peachounette as he calls her in French. Look how they massacred my girl !

- More seriously, my biggest issue by far with Peach is just how much she was willing to throw hands all the goddam time. I’m sorry but to me that’s just not Peach ! While she can absolutely spring into action, her constantly wishing to fight as a first solution is just not something she does. Hell why do you think her people are so weak and pacifist in the games ! Peach is a diplomat who only fights herself if there’s no other option.

- On that note, I have no issues with her knowing how to parkour, how to use power-ups or how to drive. It makes sense she would given she was raised in this world. Her being athletic isn’t an issue, she’s always been athletic (just look at any sports game). Plus in the games where she’s playable she’s capable of keeping up with the others.

- My second biggest issue with her is her body language. Again, most of it didn’t feel like Peach. She had none of the delicateness and elegance of the games. Literally the only moment her body language felt like her was during the fight between Mario and Dk, and even then it was only when the movie wasn’t focusing on her (aka when she wasn’t talking to Mario but just reacting). Her face was also unsettling to look at sometimes, I think it has to do with her eyes. Idk, sometimes some of her facial expressions made her look old and I can’t explain why. 🤷‍♂️

- (Also it’s incredibly funny how some youtube thumbnails have edits of Peach moments but as Daisy and that body language fits Daisy perfectly. That being said, I wouldn’t call Movie Peach a clone of Daisy, as Daisy is a very spunky tomboyish character who gives a “I don’t care all that much about ruling my kingdom” vibe. So while movie Peach has a body language that fits Daisy, their personalities are still completely different.)

- A good example of my issues with her behavior and body language has to be the way she addresses Cranky and the rest of the Kongs. Peach in the games would have a completely different behavior when asking for their help, regardless of how dire the situation is.

- And on that, the only scene where she felt in character personality-wise was when she confronted Bowser and he threatened to hurt her people if she doesn’t marry him. This scene was absolutely *chief kiss* for both of them (then again every scene with Bowser is amazing; I can’t get enough of this guy !). But then she started becoming a martial-artist and suddenly we were back to her being OOC (you can have her use the power-up and manage to stall the cages + trap Bowser without having her look like a professional fighter, Smash Bros apparently already does it).

- I guess I could also mention how overly sassy she is, which again doesn’t feel like Peach as, while she does have some sassiness in the games, it’s not to this extent. The fact that the Toads made her their princess doesn’t make much sense either, like why electing some random person who comes from another world ? What about the government before her ? (note that I’m a big fan of the “she’s a toad wearing a super crown, in this case her blue gem” headcanon so I might be biased) But yeah those two issues are kinda minor for me compared to her behavior and body language.

- All this to say if they wanted Peach to have a more action-oriented role, they should’ve taken inspiration from Super Paper Mario in which she’s incredibly sweet to pretty much everyone but can still easily get angry and has no issues throwing hands when needed (thinking of her confrontation with Mimi in 8-2, and even then, like I’ve seen people point out, the first thing she does after the fight is trying to save/befriend Mimi).

- I guess there’s also that one comic people keep bringing up but the fun thing about Peach in it is that she’s all bark and no bite. She keeps getting angry like she can actually do anything but then gets captured very easily, spends most of the fight scenes running around, only gets away from Wendy’s tower by sheer luck (finding the cape) and does nothing when Wendy calls her bluff with the bombs. The most she does in this comic to defend herself, outside of when she outsmarts the Koopalings (which I’ll admit was pretty badass) is throw furniture around. In a way, it’s pretty reminiscent of the 1986 anime/movie in which she gets angry on several occasions, defends herself by throwing shit around and manages to outsmart Bowser at some point, but ultimately doesn’t stand a chance against him.

- (Btw if you haven’t read this comic you need to ! Everyone is an absolute dumbass in it but in a funny way and it’s great ! Can’t say I know much about them but reading it low-key feels like watching an absurd play. Nothing and nobody take itself seriously in this comic and I love it !)

- On an unrelated note since I mentioned the wedding, I really liked the pink tones on her wedding dress ! The ice dress did look a bit weird tho in the sense that it makes me think too much of Frozen, though I’m not sure what they could have done about it since ice = blue and white colors so I can’t blame the movie for this one 🤔 (also fireflower Peach didn’t have her ponytail, 0/10 /j)

- And since I’m talking about clothes, not much to say for the most part as it’s all stuff the characters wear in the games but still I really liked the look of DK using the fire flower, plus the Koopas wearing helmets was a nice touch.

- Last thing about Peach and then we move on to the others, apparently Miyamoto said this version of Peach is what he’s always imagined the character to be and honestly, I’m having a hard time believing him. Like, I can definitely see it when it comes to the old comic and the 86 anime, since in both Peach is very temperamental (the comic especially). Paper Peach is also not one to sit idly and tends to have a lot more agency, at least in the first trilogy. But if you look at more modern depictions of her…Luigi Mansion 3 ? Mario Odyssey ? The online ads and shit ? Mario and Luigi ? The second Paper Mario trilogy ? The Rabbids games ? Hell in the first Rabbids game she had a gun but in the second they went back to her parasol.

- What I’m trying to say is that if Miyamoto had always wanted Peach to be written this way, why didn’t he write her this way ? Isn’t he one of the most higher-ups at Nintendo, at least when it comes to Mario games ? How come her older depictions are closer to her movie self in terms of temper than her modern depictions, to the point where people need to dig up some old comic to “prove” that Peach had always been this way instead of using modern material ?

- And for those who might say it’s because the goal of the games is almost always to save her, it’s not like she can’t both get angry easily and be the damsel in distress. In the first two Paper Mario games and the comic/86 anime, she was the one in need of saving but still had some agency. The two aren’t mutually exclusive (and like I said the humor with her in the comic is the difference between how much she wants to throw hands and how weak she actually is). Hell, on the opposite end Super Paper Mario had her as an active hero but portrayed her as sweet and kind + a diplomat. So yeah, I’m having trouble believing that this whole “this is how I always imagined her” is anything other than a publicity stunt.

- And on the other end of the body language, Mario was absolutely fantastic as a character, especially when it comes to his reactions to things ! Best example I can give because it amused me a lot was when Luigi mic-dropped his phone and Mario hid his face behind his hat in embarrassment, made even cuter due to him jumping to Luigi’s defense a second later. But yeah, overall, I really liked Mario’s character, not just his body language but his personality as a whole.

- They kinda tried to give a few hints that Peach and Mario like each other but honestly I found it to be very clumsy. Basically you could tell they were planting the seeds for a possible romance but were using moments that you’re used to see in a movie where the characters end up together. And since they never truly commit to them ending up together, while it does make perfect sense as they just met, it still makes the whole thing feel weird. Also the scene with DK teasing Mario about it and Toad jumping in was cringe af.

- Not really any opinions about Mario’s family. They were there. It’s nice to acknowledge them being Italian-americans and how they feel about the bros’ new job in regard to their upbringing, but other than that, I don’t really have anything to say about them.

- I watched the movie in French and the voices were pretty good ! Different from the game voices, but fitting enough for the characters. Only issues were Peach sounding too deep but then again that’s not my biggest issue with her character, and the second issue is the song “Peaches” where the French voice just…doesn’t sound all that good in some parts ? Though I think it might have been on purpose to accentuate the comedy of that scene ? Idk, I need to listen to the English version. Maybe the fact that people kept hyping up this song led me to believe it sounded genuinely good instead of people liking it for the comedy and how out of left field it was (on that note, I was surprised by how short this scene was due to how much people talked about it; this song is actually the one thing I regret being spoiled about).

- (also you have no idea how much I hope someone will make an edit/animation of Bowser playing the piano but with “You’re the Greatest” from Wander Over Yonder)

- And since we’re talking about voice actors, obviously Charles Martinet was 100% robbed and the only valid reason that I can accept is “Martinet himself said he didn’t think he had it in him to voice Mario and possibly Luigi as well for over an hour, given he’s getting rather old; especially if he does it in several languages”. If that’s not why he wasn’t casted, then he was robbed ! He’s literally the main reason why Mario and Luigi have the personalities that they have in modern games ! (at least I think that’s the case ?)

- Overall, favorite character has to be Bowser, with Mario and Luigi not too far away. Least favorite character is DK. It could’ve been Peach but my issues with her stem from how different she is from her games counterpart. If you take her movie character as a brand-new character rather than a game adaptation, she’s actually pretty great as a guide and strong mentor. But DK, regardless of whether or not he’s faithful to his game counterpart, is just a character I can’t stand.

- Favorite scene is either the beginning at Brooklyn with the bros being bros because it’s adorable (granted the whole dog thing wasn’t very funny. I have no issue with them doing slapsticks but the fact that they used some random dog just doesn’t do it for me), or the scene where Bowser proposes to/blackmails Peach because finally Peach is in character and that whole interaction is really great ! Least favorite scene is by far the insides of the eel with Mario and DK. I just don’t give enough of a shit about DK to feel invested in an emotional moment focused on him.

- And lastly because I realized I forgot : the movie was really pretty, with the decors and animation being absolutely fantastic. Only issue is that it’s not the type of stuff that sways me into liking a movie. I’m the type of person who finds retro games to look great so yeah… Same for the references btw. Like if you ask me about a detail in the movie I liked, instead of mentioning a reference, I will mention something like that confrontation/confession between Bowser and Peach and how, when Peach threatens Bowser with her weapon, the koopas around her immediately raise their spears, ready to protect their king. Like I said, this has literally nothing to do with references, it’s just a random detail I really like. I still really enjoyed all the references but it’s just not the type of stuff that makes me like a movie. I’m here for the story, the characters and the emotions first and foremost.

Final verdict : either 5.5/10 or 6.5/10 The simple plot makes it seem like a character driven story but outside of the bros’ adorable relationship and Bowser being Bowser, there wasn’t much character here. Also Peach and DK were pretty bad, the former due to being OOC most of the time and the latter because he’s just annoying as all hell.

I’d also add that, in my opinion, the biggest mistake Nintendo made with this movie was trusting Illumination with it. While I’m very much aware that Nintendo likely had a very strong grip on the team working on it and that Nintendo also isn’t known for liking deep Mario stories (*cough* modern Paper Mario *cough*), I still think that the lack of character development and interesting dialogue interactions (+ pacing issues) are due to Illuminations, given their track record.

Weirdly enough since I’ve only seen a few of their movies, I feel like Dreamworks would have been the best at handling this property. Like we’re all quick to jump on the Disney/Pixar bandwagon (and tbf Disney does know how to write female characters that are considered princesses) but in that case I can’t help but think that Dreamworks would have been the better choice. Maybe it’s due to Disney and Pixar being not so great recently. 🤷‍♂️

In any case, I do think that making it an animated movie was 100% the right call. Mario is a bright and colorful world filled with imaginary creatures, something animation excels at. Also Nintendo already tried Live-action once and failed miserably so maybe that’s why they took the animation direction.

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse Review: Not So Goofy or The Ungoofy Is Upon Us!

GG

Welcome back to the RIDE OF THE THREE CABLLEROS. And i’m hitting the ground running to continue the trek after some lessened activity over the holiday weekend. Especially with Christmas season already there.. and.. things to take care of. 

Your time will come, you blighted hell of an episode. But no today we’re talking about something actually good! It’s Not So Goofy! It’s back on in to the house of mouse as this was only one year after the previous episode. We’re on to season 2 though frankly i’d have to re-watch more of the show to spot a difference. The show really didn’t change all that much between seasons. The only difference i’ve heard of is Pete is ENTIRELY absent this season, so my long spiel on him being on the show continues to be worthless and I continue to not regret it. But since I covered most of the stuff I knew about the series and how much I liked it last time we can dive straight into the episode> And this one was a treat for me as Goofy was my faviorite watching this show back in the day and is tied with donald now as my faviorite of the classic characters.. not that it’s hard competition but still I love both. Goofy is kind, clumsy, and a loving father, he’s who we are and who we want to be all in one. As with last time, which you can find on the disney tab on my blog, i’ll be reviewing the host segment seperate from the short’s for coherency’s sake. So with that in mind...

NOT SO GOOFY: Hot Goofy on Beast Action We open with Mickey intorducing the show and everyone chanting house of mouse, house of mouse, which makes me want a version of the show that’s a disney fight club, with over the top smash bros or scott pilgrim style battles. God that’s a project I never completed.. reviewing that series... maybe some day i’ll just start from scratch and do that.. HINT. Point is instead  of Disney Fight Club, we get goofy breaking a bunch of shit, because this episode he’s extra clumsy. Though thanks tot his I am reminded the HOM’s jaintoral staff is the brooms from fantasia, which is a nice touch and we get a nice bit of Minnie sending all of them after Goofy keeps breaking stuff. So despite Mickey being the one interrupted constantly, everyone else is hte one to point it out, Minnie politley everyone else just sorta barging in. I was going to give out about them giving out when none of them were effected but.. really bad wait service really dose impact them all: Donald is co owner so if goofy injures someone he has to help pay the setlement, Minnie runs the staff and has had to have her brooms work double to clean up, Hoarace has to clean up structural damage, Daisy is guest services so she has to hear about it, Clarabelle only heard a rumor and Gus is chef so he has to remake the food. So i’m sympathetic to all of them.. except Gus. Gus your only gimmicks are your lazy, you eat things, and in animations case you only communicate by honking obnoxiously. You don’t get to insult a comedic genuis for doing his bit. 

But Goofy overhears this and is upset, saying they want him to be the oppsitie of goofy, ungoofy. I mean technically your right, but an ungoofy would be something more like this. 

“I WAIT INSIDE YOUR HOUSE UNTIL THE CRESENT DAWN THEN ONE BY ONE YOU’LL ALL BE GONE. “

See nothing like goofy. But no ungoofy in this episode’s case is just goofy acting refined and posh. And to help with that after the first cartoon, aka half the episode as i’m now realizing is standard, is...

I will never get tired of doing that. Rob Paulsen is back as Jose, and does a MUCH BETTER job this time. Though really that’s also because he has more to actually work with this time, so he can actually play the character. Him being a white guy playing a Brazilian is still unfortunate, still not his fault, and was covered more last time. We’ll get into how Jose helps goofy after the cut. 

So Jose helps goofy try to ungoofy himself.. which as established isn’t how that works but hey. So we get a funny montage of Goofy learning the ropes of being significant, getting a turkey on his head, and backslapping jose so hard he flies into the next room and goofy wonders where he is. I don’t have much to add, it’s just funny. It’s why reviewing comedy is hard. Besides being subjective sometimes that’s the most you can say. 

So it works, and Goofy helps everyone in a dignified manner.. and this is where the plot starts to slip up slightly, as for starters Goofy’s apperance is the same, he’s just closing his eyes a lot. He’s also not really doing anything wrong... the closest he gets is massaging bugs out of the beasts hair when he has an itch. 

And that’s because he didn’t ask if they have an open marraige.. I mean they probably do, Belle’s open minded and beast has needs, but still, he should’ve asked. Otherwise it’s going great.  As for where it goes wrong.. it’s because he dosen’t really DO anything bad. He isn’t an uptight jerkass about it or anything, he isn’t mean or tyranical to the customers or dosen’t transition to that he’s just.. not himself. Which isn’t good, btu the most he does in that regard is just not give the goofy laugh. Mickey and Minnie just suddenly kind of decided “Whelp this is bad let’s fix that”. And Disney would do this better, one of the Mickey Mouse shorts had Minnie, swooning over a sophisicated gentelman type on tv, give Mickey finishing lessons which turned him into a snobbish monster who broke up with her for daring to serve Bologna and not having a waiter. That WORKED.. and not just because we got Donald and Goofy kidnapping Mickey. But because we were shown there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, and there was something bad with the change. 

Here Goofy’s just.. compitent at his job. he’s not cruel to say max or clarabelle, he’s just refined. He should be himself, i’m entirely on board with that, but he’s not shown being worse off. I’m not saying he should stay posh, just give him a clear reason why his life is worse off this way is all. It’s basic storytelling.  But since Jose can’t just.. undo his training because he dosen’t know how they bring in Panchito! And we get another delightful song as Panchito tries to give a good lesson on being yourself with the help of his fellow cabs by explaning his long ass middle name... with Rob Paulsen’s voice. Yeah while Rob dosen’t play Panchito outside of song, he does end up voicing him for the number, likely because of his signature rapid fire delivery in music, but still does a GREAT job at that too. Serously I wasn’t just trying to placate people calling him a legend last time, he REALLY is fantastic, he was just given nothing to work with and here the diffrence shows as the song is really catchy, really beautifully animated and really fun and really plays to Rob’s strengths. Again casting a white man as a Latino is .. pretty sketchy, but it’s not Rob’s fault and i’m sure if Carlos was even offered the song, or even if he wansn’t, Rob apologized for it and made sure it was okay> Wether it actually was I don’t know but I can’t genuinely see Rob Paulson as the kind of guy to be racisit or steal rolls or any of that stuff. It’s likely they just knew he could sing fast and wanted to do that and dind’t think through implications. 

The song dosen’t quite work so they play a short, and when that fails Mickey closes the show sincerly thanking everyone and apologizing to Goofy. Goofy is restored.. horay? What do you think ungoofy?

“SOON THE APOTHEOSIS WILL BE APON THEE AND ALL WILL BE GOOF. ALL WILL BE GOOF. “ Oh you always say that Final Thoughts on Not So Goofy Wraparound: Not terrible, but it’s really thin plot wise. but joke and song wise it’s REALLY good, so overall i’d say i’ts just okay> Not a great or memorable plot, or an original one really, btu the use of the cabs is FAR better this time around, the song is really damn good, and there are some good jokes, so overall it works. Like the last one the wraparound is nothing specail, but it’s still deeply entertaining. Speaking of entertaining, let’s talk shorts. 

Roller Coaster Painters:  It’s one of those old “Mickey, Donald and Goofy” have a buisness deals, where all are hired to paint a rollercoaster with the person who does the most getting a free pass for life and Donald naturally being the only one who cares. A paint war insues between Donald and Mickey... mostly because Donald wants the prize real bad and Mickey wants to “give him a run for his money” instead of just helping him because he’s a dick I guess? I dunno, but it escalates to them paiting each other and, in my favorite part, Donald stealing shit from the park to create a paint arsenal for himself, forging the prize to get his revenge. Fun paint base fighting ensues, and Goofy inevitably wins and rips the thing. SImple, but really charming with really fluid and wonderful animation helping accenutate the hyjinks. Really good slaptstick stuff and a VAST improvment over the last episode’s longer short. 

Goofy’s Extreme Sports Wakeboarding:  Just a fun, silly skit of Goofy wakeboarding, my faviorite bit being him doing the tantrum, which his him doing a child’s tantrum in mid-air. What was your faviorite bit UnGoofy?

“BEHOLD MY SEED, THE SEED OF YOUR DOOM, THE SEED OF ALL WORLDS AND THE SEED OF ALL BLOOMS!” 

Awwwwww.... he has a kid now. 

How to Wash Dishes: Another How to Bit. Not as strong as the last one but still fun and throughly relatable as Goofy’s a dishwasher, which having been one twice now, I can relate to his surly disposition at the narrator guy talking it up. The Narrator then.. has goofy run up credit card debt because he’s a terrible person, hijinks ensue, and Goofy ends up.. washing dishes. Overall a fun short, and again relatable as Washing Dishes is not great. Not quite as good as the other two, but still enjoyable because well. it’s goofy after all. 

OveralL Thoughts: This was more like it. While the plot of the main segment was kind of thin and nonsensical in places... it worked because this is more of a comedy show and the wraparounds are more focused on jokes and crossover gags than a real plot, and worked SLIGHTLY better. The shorts were also really great, making this a hell of a lot more fun to watch. Highly recommend it to any cabs or house of mouse fan or if your intrested in house of mouse, this is a good one to try out.  If you liked this review, reblog it, like it, comment etc etc, and if you have an episode of house of mouse, another disney show, or just another show in general you’d like me to cover you can comission episodes by sending me a direct message on here or an ask to get my discord to hash things out there. Right now comissions are ONLY 3 bucks through monday, so get em now while their hot! And until next time there’s always another rainbow.  NEXT TIME: It’s Don Rosa again! Horary!. 

[mrmallardsmobileposts]

2 Fast 2 Furious and the nature of sequels

Preface: I'll be calling the movie Fast 2 because 2 Fast is stupid. Also, I've covered spoilers with strike marks, like so, and the movies I spoil are Smokey and the Bandit II and Mission Impossible 2. The MI2 spoilers are miniscule, but the Smokey II spoilers are substantial - but for the record, that movie sucks ass and imo you're probably better off not seeing it. Regardless, consider this a spoiler warning for those movies.

To sum up my opinion of 2 Fast 2 Furious - while it's emblematic of the nature of forced sequels, in good and bad aspects, I would say that ultimately it is one of the better examples of a shoehorned sequel that I've ever seen.

I saw The Fast and the Furious 1 last week, and while I thought it was corny and dated - the f-slur gets used twice, there's a mesh tank top on a dude considered to be the height of badassitude, the dialogue is pretty dumb and the acting isn't great - I was very entertained. I've seen Fast Five, so I know how corny and over the top the series gets, and I'm approaching this series from an emotional standpoint - are the characters compelling, is the action good, how much am I invested in the stakes. The first movie was pretty good - I felt like it was kind of reserved, even, though that's because the budget was low and because I have unrealistic standards due to my knowledge of the franchise as a whole.

So going into Fast 2, I knew to keep my expectations level. It's a sequel that lacks a major star of the first one, it's set in an entirely new environment with an entirely new supporting cast, it's dripping in excess since the first movie did so well, and all of this is going to affect the story's plot in a way that will significantly deviate from what fans liked about the first movie.

But for a movie with those elements, Fast 2 actually managed to keep the essence of what makes this franchise so enjoyable. It's still fast - though the CGI and other car effects have aged like milk - there's still a focus on community and "family" in a way - Brian reconnects with Roman, he's made connections with Ludacris' character and he gets in good with the wider racing community in Miami - and while the villain is cartoonishly evil and the last act of the movie is basically a giant cartoon with the s***ty villain and the stunts, the series as a whole has steered towards crazy cartoony s*** ever since. And also, you can see the stupid cartoony s*** in the first movie - using grapple guns to hijack trucks, for example.

Of course, two of those are retroactive connections to the franchise. That last one applies to the franchise going forward, as it became a franchise zombie. So it's totally understandable that for its day, Fast 2 was controversial. I still maintain that for a sequel that could be characterised as an unneeded cash-grab and potential reboot, Fast 2 has actually aged pretty decently.

There are two unnecessary sequels I want to compare Fast 2 to - Smokey and the Bandit II, and Mission Impossible II.

Smokey and the Bandit II is bloated and full of itself. The first movie was a straightforward caper movie - bootleg a truck full of Coors across state lines and evade the police. There's a little bit of backstory and character development, but it's a lean, functional movie at the end of the day.

Yet despite sharing the exact same cast as the last movie, sans one additional character, the characters feel outlandish and full of themselves - which reflects in the entire product. The Bandit has drunk himself into a pit over Frog, so Cledus has to give him a pep talk and push him through a training montage to lose his beer weight - it's padding, and it's trying to build a greater emotional arc based on a character who feels more like an archetype who works well in the moment. There's an unnecessary target shooting scene with Buford T. Justice that feels like padding, the Dom DeLuise character is grating, and the cargo of a baby elephant - along with its accompanying ethical dilemma, seeing Bandit take a more altruistic, heroic position rather than being the lovable scoundrel of the first movie - is such a self-serving cop-out. And that finale of all those truck drivers coming to the rescue - while awesome in concept - comes in after a majority of the movie has been a stinking turd and is the biggest example of unnecessary excess and bloat in the entire movie.

Smokey and the Bandit II took itself so seriously that it lost sight of what made the first movie so good. The Bandit has a heart of gold, but the movie doesn't have to give him an ethical dilemma to make him an objectively decent person. While the idea of the team losing the bet in the end is an alright ending, they didn't need a moral victory on the level of preventing an elephant from a life of circus work/misery to paint them in such a good light. And worst of all, the caper sucks. It's so up its own ass that it doesn't know how to emulate the first movie's appeal at all.

Quick note: I spoilered plot details, but I genuinely think this movie is one of the biggest pieces of dogs*** I've ever seen and you're really not missing out on much by not seeing it. People seem to hate the third one, but even that was a fun watch compared to the second one imo. If you're never gonna watch Smokey and the Bandit II, by all means, disregard the spoiler tags.

Then you have Mission Impossible II, which I saw for the first time less than a month ago. And while the first movie was a goofy, self-indulgent romp, the second movie is filled to the brim with unnecessary excess, bloat and unearned emotional weight. It feels longer than it actually is, the cinematography is all style and no substance, the acting is grating and full of itself, the acting sucks and it feels so dated and out of place on almost every level.

Like Smokey and the Bandit II, it feels much longer than it really is. Sequences like Tom Cruise flirting with the main girl for the first half hour of the movie really make the movie drag, especially after the punchy and functional approach to the first movie. It's overly convoluted, even for Mission Impossible - at one point the bad guy basically nails Tom Cruise's plan down to the T, and the heist focuses more on his deduction than it does on the heist itself. Then the last act, with the main girl being infected with the supervirus, has some of the most self-indulgent and needlessly stylised action in the series to date, and it jams the forced love story into the forefront even more. Mission Impossible II is a rough watch, even today - it's a wanky mess.

What these movies share is that they're entirely detached from the movies that came before them in tone, plot and/or stakes. Smokey II has a dogs*** tone, the plot is needlessly padded and the stakes suck. MI2 has an over-stylized and melodramatic tone, the plot is poorly acted despite having the building blocks of a decent MI plot, and the stakes are kinda f***ed due to the forced romance being directly connected to the mega-threat of the movie. Smokey II bastardises previously established characters, while MI2 brings in a mostly new cast to ruin specifically for that movie - though the variable team has stuck around in the franchise at large.

Here's what Fast 2 does to stand out.

The plot - another caper involving the feds, with a new character and locale in place of a returning one. The stakes are less personal than the first movie, but they're bigger and they're supplemented by Brian and Roman reconnecting over the course of the movie. Brian and Roman's relationship reflects the values established in the first movie - community, or family if that's your bag. Ride or die.

The tone - gratuitous driving, gaudy colours, a bit more ambitious with the bad guy compared to the first movie - true to the first movie, and reflective of the later sequels. Arguably less actiony in some aspects. A bit sillier than the first movie.

The stakes - Brian and Roman's freedom, the safety of Brian's love interest and eliminating a violent criminal. More dramatic than the first movie - that movie was character-driven from beginning to end, while Fast 2 is more of a standard action movie with an unambiguous villain - but reminiscent of the first movie's values.

Smokey and the Bandit II extended a great movie past the point it needed to exist, and MI2 was a stumbling point in a widely celebrated action franchise that no-one likes to bring up. Fast 2 - while undoubtedly dated, corny and a deviation from the first movie's focus - reiterates values that the first movie shared, and which became more prominent as the series continued. It also, bizarrely, aligns with the crazy action s*** that later movies spiral into - just on a lower scale. In comparison to the first movie, the wilder, dumber action is a departure, but it's almost restrained in comparison to what the franchise becomes.

Roman isn't the best character for most of the movie - he might be my second least favorite next to the Miami cop - but I found his relationship arc with Brian over the course of the movie to be pretty solid, and it paid off near the end in a really great, personal way. And while it's not the same as Brian and Dom, it is still a strong "friends to enemies to friends" arc in the end. Complement that with some gratuitous racing action, and you have the basic formula for a good Fast and Furious movie.

And the thing about Fast 2 is that it reminds me directly of Smokey II and MI2. Near the end, there's a scene where the good guys intervene with the bad guys with a bunch of cars to help the good guys escape - the whole cavalry idea reminded me a lot of the ending of Smokey and the Bandit II, with the fleet of trucks that face off with the police force. And much like MI2, the main character has a fling with a woman on the inside of the villain's lair, and endeavours to save her life near the end of the movie. The former felt bloated in Smokey II after an absolute s***pile of a movie, while it appealed to the series' sense of style and whimsy in Fast 2. The latter felt shoehorned in MI2, with the character basically being a damsel and macguffin with entirely too much screentime dedicated to getting together with Tom Cruise, while the character in Fast 2 is a character who is intriguing and who feels essential, whose functions as a character aren't overshadowed by Paul Walker's massive boner for her.

Ultimately, the Fast and the Furious franchise is a flashy, speedy spectacle franchise. The worst thing you could do is botching the driving and making it feel slow and inessential. Ultimately, while Fast 2 isn't as good as the first one - and may or may not still go down as the worst movie in the franchise - it still feels like a Fast and Furious movie. And it's retroactively made better by basically being The Incredible Hulk to Fast Five's Avengers - the Fast and Furious movies are basically a cinematic universe unto themselves, and even the bad ones gain some entertainment points by factoring into the wider narrative. By the sheer nature of the Fast and Furious movies being pandering schlock at the end of the day, Fast 2 really isn't that bad. It feels congruent with the past and future of the franchise, even if it isn't necessarily as entertaining as the rest of the franchise. Other unnecessary cash-grab sequels gut the characters, skimp on their development and make stories that really don't need to exist - Fast 2 has main characters who gel well with each other (even if one of them kinda sucks), gives them a solid arc that plays into the wider theme of the franchise and introduces characters and plot elements which further movies build on.

Fast 2 is not a bad sequel. It's not amazing, and it might still be the worst movie in the franchise for all I know, but my genuine opinion is that as far as sequels go, it does hold up in several key aspects that make it an entertaining spectacle on par with the broader franchise. As far as unnecessary cash-grab sequels go, this is actually a pretty good one.

[hecknopoohsadventures]

Weekenders Adventures of Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

And now, a technological breakthrough in Pooh's Adventures history - a classic unnecessarily reworked with your favourite cartoon characters, unnecessarily reworked with your favourite cartoon characters! The infamous Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, a.k.a. Why Paramount Should’ve Kept Those Rights in the First Place, was the closest a corporation-based animation studio could get to channelling Pooh’s Adventures as it so commonly stands - deliberate exposition that dumbs the original mains down, absolutely no reason for the guests to be there other than comic relief, a villain confrontation scene where there shouldn’t have been, dialogue tampered with to bring up these newcomers, you name it.

So of course Poohphiles would enjoy it enough to slap even less time-consistent cartoon characters onto that and make them twice as useless by having them direct every pratfall the cat and mouse stumble into as usual. This might just be fan fiction, but this is still what storytelling shouldn’t be. And so, without further adieu, let’s bite into Weekenders Adventures of Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I can’t believe I just pasted that either.

Part 1

0:15 His most diabolical scheme yet.

0:28 Implying this is artful enough to be transferred onto celluloid.

0:43 Tiff is about to request that the volume be increased, but all Dedede ironically shushes her. All he wants is Kirby's suffering.

1:18 Originality truly is dead.

3:00 As terrible as the original, uh, Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka is, at least Spike Brandt chose characters who knew when to shut up.

3:49 Oh my god.

4:30 OH MY GOD.

7:13 Why are they paired up with these two again?

7:28 How not to script a crossover vs. how absolutely not to script a crossover.

7:42 Charlie didn't even ask...

7:57 ...neither does he care.

8:17 If you're not as starving as they were, YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS MOVIE.

8:24 What's in your wallet?

8:34 Charlie's ignoring you.

9:08 How about offering some, you greedy fucks?

9:14 How about using some of your contract "more"?

9:17 It can't be that hard, right? ............Right?!

Part 2

0:59 Are every single one of them that foolish not to bring just the slightest nickel on their journey?

1:05 You can say that over and over again.

1:27 Says the girl who will just give over to temptation anyway, including booping what should not be booped.

3:01 You've got a better cartoon to attend to.

5:04 Clearly someone hasn't heard of a term called "surprise".

5:47 Bravo. Just coming out clean rather than saving yourselves jail time.

6:10 You know, at least Brerdaniel would probably treat Tom and Jerry as goofy pet sidekicks rather than have a bunch of usually-independent chatterboxes follow suit.

6:19 That's what the mouse was mentally suggesting, faithful student.

7:07 Alright! What delicious spells has Star conjured up ready for blas- Oh. Never mind.

7:31 As for the rest of you, welp, you're screwed.

8:12 Worse than tobacco?

8:57 And whoever else is surrounding the desks but doesn't matter in the slightest.

9:58 Something with more artistic merit than this.

11:46 Some kid that has lifted dicks up for generations somehow.

12:11 How..................am I barely riffing on two well-known cartoon characters' extensive presence in a movie they're not supposed to be a part of?

12:42 And how are they not noticing that creepy old man on TV? A gaping flaw in the dumbest of Pooh's Adventures implemented into a corporate, Korean-co-produced film from WB. Welcome to 2017 in cinema.

13:27 *grumbles* I know, right?

14:04 And just like Pooh's Adventures, an extra guest just had to be thrown in.

Part 3

0:18 Lor, you're in 7th grade. That, and you're mentally stable. Think about what you're saying.

0:20 Diverting gender norms, are we, Nobita?

0:31 Physically, you're not helping.

1:03 Unless Star could use her noodle arms to pick it straight out. 

2:09 Those poor Koreans.

3:03 Star's not not feeling it lately.

3:32 You don't ask that the very moment you bump into one.

4:12 It's the 90's all over again, and some millennials just happen to be in the scene as Slugworth turns Veruca's song into a goddamn reprise.

9:40 They're the only two guests dancing. Remind me what the point of this crossover is again?

11:47 And you only just noticed?

11:49 Even Twilight Sparkle herself wouldn't figure it out so accurately. She may be a god, but she's no psychic.

12:28 Or, you know, just hop onto the sidewalks.

13:00 And one of you could've just tucked it firmly into your pocket, you lazy fucks.

14:59 A simple "excuse me" would suffice?

Part 4

0:02 And the rest? They all sneak in somehow without being detected. 

1:25 See how boring and clueless these people now are?

1:49 I can understand Tom and Jerry squeezing through a pipe, but everyone else?!

2:44 In a shopping mall, no less.

3:30 But in clown garb!

4:23 tfw when a mouse can silently explain the situation better than you can.

5:00 Speak for yourself, all you're doing is standing there.

5:20 I'll say.

5:52 Hiding yourselves, on the other hand...

6:31 ...beyond "kinky".

7:23 Christ, at least Tom and Jerry are doing nothing to interrupt not-Gene-Wilder’s soothing melody.

8:00 How did nobody in the guest team accidentally push one of theirs into the river trying to rescue him?

9:07 Who now?

9:39 Why is Star so aggressive in this crossover? Her religion is unicorns and rainbows, you’d think she’d giggle and dance around non-stop being in the same team as Princess Twilight Sparkle.

11:35 This is wasted fetish potential.

11:51 Oh, finally you give a shit.

12:24 Wha?!?!?!?!?!?!?

13:31 ALL of you?

Part 5

0:02 She looks like she's seen this before. Hmm.

0:46 For once, censorship actually makes the source material less awkward.

1:01 Oh, please, this ain't close to worthy of a montage. You could have seen a live chicken being chopped up.

3:09 She came straight out of nowhere. EXPOSITION. LEARN IT.

5:03 Truly wasted fetish potential.

7:22 Every other guest concurs.

8:18 *slow clap*

8:31 He already had a dog by his side, no need to make every line of dialogue politically correct.

9:18 INCREASED fetish potential.

10:16 And like many Pooh's Adventures creators, the writers do not understand independent thinking.

11:06 Um, Marco............... Oh, fuck it.

11:34 HE'S IGNORING YOU.

11:57 UNBEARABLY wasted fetish potential.

12:30 What, you want to kill him?!

16:48 Good.

Part 6

0:33 And it really should've been you all.

0:48 GO DIE IN ANOTHER FIRE.

3:36 Which is more than I can say about everyone following him.

4:39 See what at least happens when you have every character in the frame? SEE HOW BORING THAT MAKES YOUR CROSSOVER IF YOU SPLICE IT WITH IMOVIE?!?!?!?!?!

5:18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUEd6gPjIsY

6:55 Sunset Shimmer fires Megan. Meme videos at their finest.

7:42 But how does even Wonka automatically recognise their names?

9:20 Well, certainly not Megan, whoever she was. Why was she in this again?

9:46 Star's response is priceless.

11:08 Of course we have crack shipping in this thing. Sunset is technically a horse.

11:53 Story of a Poohphile's YouTube career. Wonka knows what he's smirking about.

15:25 You're telling us.

15:28 SMART CHOICE!

15:30 Who has already spun fast enough in his 2016 deathbead.

Outtakes

And finally here's some outtakes, because someone thought bloopers could work in Pooh's Adventures. Prepare to cringe like you've never cringed before.

Unoriginality: 

Illiteracy:

Tom and Jerry’s baffling superiority:

Bonerkills:

At least it wasn’t made by Yakko:

Overall: 7.2/5

-0.44/10. This is the epitome of pointless, and a chilling reminder of the potential devolution of storytelling now that it’s possible to build stories out of emojis and Slenderman. This being simple-minded, inoffensive fan fiction by a couple of guys with needs hosted by Google Drive and linked to in one out of 27,000 wiki pages, of course it’d be insignificant to the community compared to what you can pay money for right now, but as far as innovation goes, and I say this as a film critic in progress, it’s misguided, aimless and devoid of any substance of any form. I’m just saying, with plenty of much-deserved scholarship, maybe you could be writing far more intricate prose than "Tom, Imagine when a chocolate mouse appears." I know Time Warner didn’t get some when they commissioned Gene Grillo to write Tom and Jerry into Roald Dahl. If someone else is planning to put a few (or a thousand) more cameos into Tom and Jerry’s gonzo Wonka trek for fun and not for profit, you bet I’ll be ready-ish.