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inamanicpixiedream · 1 year ago

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2023

I've answered these questions on various platforms for over ten years now, I think? That's wild. There's better questions out there but tradition is tradition.

1. What did you do this year that you’d never done before?

Put on a mother-fucking Fringe show. Bought a Lego advent calendar. Got divorced lol.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions?

I don't really make them any more, but I feel like I set out what I wanted to do.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yeah, a few of my good friends from work.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What cities/states/countries did you visit?

My partner finally moved here from Brisbane, but I did a couple of final trips there and we went back for a wedding. I did a whirlwind trip to Melbourne and while it was fun I found out I am not the kind of person who thrives on flying somewhere for less than 24 hours.

6. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year?

Money. God, I hate this is the answer, but my rent got super jacked up and my partner hasn't found a job here yet and everything is find but it's tight as fuck and I hate working so goddamn hard and feeling like I have nothing to show for it.

7. What date(s) from this year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

February my show was performed. April my partner moved here. Two of the biggest days of my life honestly.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

The show was huge. I wrote and performed something I had written, with my own financial backing and organisation and steam, and it's something I have always wanted to do. And I just did it. I then started making more and more moves to make this my life, like asking to go part-time at work and starting my podcast again and putting together a Patreon.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I actually can't think of anything which is kind of wild. After leaving my husband last year I really grabbed a hold of my agency in my life. It's been pretty incredible.

10. What other hardships did you face?

I had a lot to grieve and process about the separation and I am very thankful to my therapist for all the work she did there.

My current relationship is wonderful but being two adults coming together is going to have more baggage and things to work through. It's so absolutely worth it.

11. Did you suffer illness or injury?

In July I was diagnosed with polycystic-ovary syndrome, which is yet another nail in the coffin of my ever being able to have children.

Along with that came a further investigation into my blood sugar and I was told I had pre-diabetes. This scared the shit out of me, cause I was really fucking close. I was also terrified about doing the work to try and reverse it, because I didn't want to get back into disordered eating territory. But I had incredible help from a dietician and I read really tempered, reasonable information, and I managed to make small, sustainable changes and turn that entire shit around. Within six months my levels were completely back to normal and all my other negative health markers were reversed. Honestly, this was another huge achievement.

12. What was the best thing you bought?

I just bought a new guitar that has become a huge joy in my life. I also got into beading when I went to see the Eras tour movie to make bracelets and I've kept it up and I absolutely love it as a hobby. Otherwise, I didn't really make a lot of big purchases. Contributing financially to helping my boyfriend move was pretty great to get him here.

13. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

I am often resisting the urge to come on here and write a very gushy post about my boyfriend, but god he is great. I wrote last year that I highly recommend falling in love in your thirties. My mum commented at Christmas that it's clear how happy he makes me, but it's beyond happy - he makes me calm. Even when things are hard and messy he is such a solid presence in my life, and he is so, so bloody nice to me, and I keep waiting for it to stop feeling like a crush and exciting every time I see him but it's been almost two years and that just has never gone away. He is so ridiculously supportive of me and has worked so hard on himself and I'm so proud of him.

14. Whose behaviour made you appalled?

No names, but a few people at work made me feel like I was banging my head against the wall.

Also, fuck everyone who has been supporting Israel's attack on Palestine.

15. Where did most of your money go?

Rent and household expenses is the very boring but realistic answer.

16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My show. My boyfriend finally moving here. Seeing Barbie.

17. What song will always remind you of this year?

I was so terrible at listening to new music this year. The songs that were written for my show, I guess. I listened to Peach Prc and Tessa Violet a lot, but I don't know if those songs will remind me of the year. Maybe Kitchen Song.

18. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder? Happier, happier, happier!

ii. Thinner or fatter? No comment!

iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer. But I have complete control of my finances and can still cover everything and then some. Have to remind myself I'll be okay.

19. What do you wish you’d done more of? Reading! This is something I have to work on.

20. What do you wish you’d done less of? Last year I said sleeping, which is very funny to me. Mindless scrolling is the answer this year for sure.

21. How did you spend Christmas? My extended family did out potluck on the Saturday before which was lovely, and my boyfriend was nervous cause he hadn't met half of them before, and he'd never been to a big Christmas before, but it was really great. My granny is pretty far gone with her Alzheimer's though which was a cloud that hung over everything

My boyfriend's mum then flew down on Christmas Eve, and we had lunch on the day with just us and our mums, cause we're both only children of single parents, and I was a bit concerned it'd be awkward, but it wasn't, it was really nice. We cooked an amazing meal together and both our mums bought the dogs presents. and we watched Fantasia and it was great.

22. Did you fall in love this year?

I did not know it was possible to be in love the way we are. I sold myself short for years. It feels like a waste of time, but god, I cannot believe how lucky I am to have it now.

This is what I wrote last year, at the end of a much more extended answer, since 2022 was pretty big for us. But this is still absolutely true, and I can't get over it still.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t think so.

24. What was your favorite show? God, I didn't watch much that was new, but we rewatched 30 Rock because my boyfriend had never seen it and that was great.

25. What was the best book you read? The Bookbinder of Jericho by Pip Williams. Little Weirds by Jenny Slate. What You Are Looking for is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery of the year? I went to see Stop Making Sense and it got me very into The Talking Heads. Loved finding corook's music as well.

27. What was your favorite film?

Films that came out this year - Barbie, Oppenheimer, Across the Spiderverse,

Films I watched for the first time - Amadeus, Stop Making Sense, Best In Show, The Great Escape, Glass Onion.

I also went to a cinema event where we marathoned all five Twilight movies in a row, and that ruled.

28. What was your favorite meal?

We've been doing a roast chicken every Sunday together which has been great.

It's what we did on Christmas too and I made a kickass pavlova. Think that's definitely been the best meal of the year.

29. What did you want and get?

For my partner to move here.

30. What did you want and not get?

To win the fucking lottery.

31. What did you do on your birthday and how old did you turn?

I turned 35. I had a work event that night so did nothing special. That was fine.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Said it before, but having more financial stability and freedom sure would be nice.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of the year?

Comfortable. Embracing my body. Showing my tattoos. As sustainable as possible.

Wrote this last year. Stand by it.

34. What kept you sane?

My dogs. My friends. My boyfriend. Writing. Podcasts. Taylor Swift's music. Going to the movies.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most?

Caroline Klidonas is an actor I follow on TikTok whose work I just adore. I also love Pip Williams' writing so much, especially after seeing the play of A Dictionary of Lost Words.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The genocide in Gaza.

37. Who did you miss? Sometimes I miss the family I lost in the divorce.

But mostly not.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I honestly don't feel like I've met many new people? Which is weird.

39. What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?

Go after what you want.

40. What is a quote or song lyric that sums up your year?

On the way home I wrote a poem You say, "What a mind" This happens all the time

'Cause they said the end is coming Everyone's up to something I find myself running home to your sweet nothings Outside, they're push and shoving You're in the kitchen humming All that you ever wanted from me was nothing

- Sweet Nothing, Taylor Swift

We live in hope--that life will get better, and more importantly that it will go on, that love will survive even though we will not. As Emily Dickinson put it, hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. And we are here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here. Sing it with me, wherever you are. Think of those across the broad and roaring seas, and sing with me. You won’t be more offtune than I am. We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here. We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here.

- The Anthropocene Reviewed, John Green

#year in review

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pancakes-talks · 10 months ago

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I can't believe I'm still getting likes/reblogs on my old Nico posts. Like I'm shocked people are still finding them since it's been so long. I'm shocked that anyone saw them when I first posted them I thought the pjo fandom was dead. And like it makes me happy that other people like the same character I do and they like the stuff I made. But it also makes me sad. Cause I just haven't had the energy to be as crazy into the series as I used to be. I'm trying to rekindle that fire but it's hard sitting myself down to read and making stuff inspired by what I read. I want to enjoy things again. I want to be insane about something. So invested, so enthralled, I end up spending hours writing stupid stories and drawing goofy shit to make myself giggle.

I want to sit down and take in everything. Feeling completely engrossed in a story watching it unravel. How it's carefully sewn plots together. Just experiencing how more alive characters feel the further you get into the story. I want to furiously type out my developing theory's of where the story is going and tying those threads together as they're revealed. Just going completely feral when I'm proven right or wrong. Caring deeply for the characters ambitions and rooting for them.

Feeling your heart drop to your stomach as you see the ledge they're about to leap off of before they do. knowing there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Watching them fall. Watching them struggle to get back up on their feet and forging on anyway.

Cheering for them as they finally make their way back home safe. But having that bittersweet feeling wash over you as you realize there's no adventure left for you to follow.

Like, Goddamn! I don't want to watch a 20 minute YouTube video giving me a chopped up synopsis of a book for 1/4th of it and then give me a surface level analysis they pulled from Wikipedia nearly word for word for the last quarter. That's like licking the condensation off the outside of a soda bottle. I want the whole deal. I don't want to have to settle for less because I'm exhausted and in pain from work. It's kinda bullshit I can hardly enjoy my hobbies, which consist of mostly sitting down! That's crazy. Don't get me started on AI bullshit. Like no bud I don't want a computer to steal images and then muddle them together to make "art". The process of creating something is the whole point of CREATING SOMETHING. Typing words and instantly getting a garbled emotionless picture is not going to give me the same joy as drawing a horrific Freddy Fazbear as an old timey Chuck e cheese animatronic inspired by meat canon but in my own glossy style. Spending hours detailing his shiny rubbery skin and jagged tooth that's somehow rotting even though it should be plastic right??? Setting his eyes and eyelids further back into his gapping sockets to make them seem more uncanny. And having them look sideways at you even though he's placed forward on the stage. And then posting it in every discord I'm in. Forcing my friends to look at him as he gazes back at them. And then all reacting with "..oh my god? oh mY GOD! OH MY GOD" followed by "YOU MADE THAT? THATS FUCKING AWESOME" like no dude typing words on a keyboard will never make me feel as close to godhood as creating funny little cursed drawings does.

#Idk tldr; I want to feel utterly insane about my interest again but I'm so tired #also fuck ai and short form video “essays”#pancakes talks #rambling #text post #pancakes life stuff

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eusuntgratie · 3 years ago

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This feels a lot like procrastination 👀 but fine, fic writing questions...

5, 6, 7, 14, 18, 20, 25, 28, 48, 51, 73 😁❤

well i was gonna write but then EVENTS TRANSPIRED and i got worked up so i don't think that's gonna happen regardless so no need to feel bad about sending me 392049234204 questions (i think you've been talking to poe too much hmm)

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

answered here

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

answered here

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

OKAY i want to give you a tknp thirst tweets snippet but its not formatted yet BLERGH so here have some pining patty:

They never talked about the slow escalation of what could be written off as buddies with no boundaries - sitting too close on the couch and wrestling with too much touching - into a full-blown friends with benefits situation, neither of them willing (or able, in Nolan’s case) to stop the seemingly inevitable march from a frantic hand down the others’ sweats to sloppily making out during slow hand jobs, Nolan craving TK’s skin under his teeth, leaving bruises they passed off as hockey injuries, to blowjobs and finally, to Nolan discovering that nothing had ever come close to making him feel as good as TK does when he fucks him.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

outside on my laptop. we have these fancy tall adirondack chairs that my stepdad made us and i love writing in mine on the deck. mine has a little thingy added to the footrest bc i'm short af so that my feet can touch the footrest bc normal people furniture doesn't work for my short ass legs.

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

no, i don't, absolutely not. i do not enjoy my hobbies giving me goddamn homework. i will do research for a totally inane detail that no one cares about (i'm looking at you, LA Zoo map) but will go to great lengths to avoid actual legit research for fic.

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

oooh i like both but overall probably canon fics. trying to fit what i want to write into the canon puzzle is really fun, and i think i'm better at that than transposing canon characters and plot points into a new universe.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

BRAINSTORMING. god so fun. if the fics could just pop out of my brain once i form a coherent idea i'd be the most prolific writer in the world. coming up with 1-2 fic ideas in a day is totally normal for me i live for that shit. and then i want to read the thing i brainstormed about and occasionally actually sit down to write it. SIGH.

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

i write fic for fun, so i don't take myself too seriously or worry too much about what i'm bad at, but i struggle to write kissing? i will jump to something smuttier in a second because writing emotional, hot, exactly the vibe you want making out is fucking HARD. i need to work at it a bit i think.

48. Who is your favorite character to write for? Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

i don't think i have one? wait maybe melissa mccall? if i have an opportunity to work her into a fic i do it. i love her so much.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

no not really. i love to read and write porn, and angst, and sometimes fluff. i like to read and write a variety of stuff. i do love to read longfics, and writing 30k was an act of suffering, so there's an area of discprencancy. i also like reading au's way more than i like writing them. (i'm not opposed if i have an au idea thats just not usually where my mind goes).

73. What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

oh i don't know. i think i'm so flustered and flattered by every genuine compliment that i'm not capable of cataloguing them.

fanfiction writer asks | ask me

#fanfic writer asks #ask grace #grace writes #lostcol

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yayteaberry · 4 years ago

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*SFW* Babysitting (Bakugou)

Rarely did he ever take a Saturday off from either training or studying, he was determined to stay better than everyone else. But, it had been raining since yesterday and he felt like he deserved a break anyways. From morning to afternoon, he enjoyed doing absolutely nothing, scrolling his social media and avoiding liking any of his friends posts on principle.

Shitty hair still won’t shut up about the selfie he liked so now nobody gets any.

His planned day of nothing is interrupted by a knock at his door, and he’s been pacified by memes to a degree where he doesn’t react violently to the intrusion.

Instead he shoves his phone into his pocket as gets up and opens the door, plain faced until he sees it’s you and that you’re holding something. Well, someone.

“Hey!”, you greet with an unusual level of enthusiasm, “I need you to do a favor for me.”

“A favor?”, he asks while he takes in the fact that you’re holding a baby, dressed in a striped onesie.

“Yeah, I’m kinda busy with stuff and I need someone to keep an eye on this little cutie for a bit!” To emphasize the importance or maybe sway him, you turn the baby around so he can see the chubby face.

“... If you’re asking me to babysit it, then no.”

You click your tongue against your teeth, rolling your eyes. “Well don’t call her by ‘it’, and I really need you to do this for me!”

He puts a hand on the door to signal that he’s about to close it, “Nah. Ask shitty hair or Deku, I think they’d love to drool over your kid.” “It’s my aunts baby!”, you say as you put your foot over the threshold, jostling the baby somewhat, which excitedly babbles as it meets his eyes, “They’re busy too, I tried asking! Believe me, you weren’t my first choice.”

“What do you mean by that?” He speaks with annoyance, opening the door fully as his competitive nature rises.

Internally you give a sigh of relief, externally you place the baby on your hip. “Bakugou, I think we both know that you’re awful with children. But you’re my last option and I have nowhere else to turn.”

“I should’ve been your first choice! I’m a fuckin’ wiz at keeping brats well behaved! Gimme!”

“Ah!”, you step out of range of his attempted grab and put out your pointer finger, “Don’t yell at the baby, don’t be aggressive with the baby, and most of all, don’t yell at the baby.”

In spite of your words you know full well he’ll do nothing of the sort, just wanting to give the appearance so he’ll be on his best behavior. He doesn’t have to know he was actually the only one you wanted to watch her.

After all his surface level bullying you can tell he’s soft on the inside, knowing he’s the least likely to give into a baby's whims while also being gentle enough to avoid making her cry.

“Yeah yeah.”, he grumbles, taking her from you when you extend her towards him, “When are you gonna collect the brat?”

You give a 50/50 gesture, shrugging, “Ah an half hour to two hours, but I’ll be back before three hours for sure! She’s been fed and changed recently but just in case,” A bag is revealed when you pull it from behind your back, taking it off by the strap and setting it inside.

“Diapers and toys, if she’s hungry there’s something for her in there too. Just, be careful about that, she’s sorta young for it.”

He nods at your words, watching her grapple at his shirt, having not once taken his eyes off her.

“Thank you!”, you chirp and give him a kiss on the cheek, knowing that he can’t do anything about it while holding her. That makes him glance up at you with some minor malice, which is reduced severely by the dusting of pink across his nose.

With that you take your leave, confident he’ll do fine.

He shuts the door and sits at the edge of his bed, cradling her in his arms. After a moment he takes a look over to the bag you left, thinking it’d probably be best to fish something out of there for her to do.

While he wasn’t experienced in caring for a baby in any capacity that felt like common sense. Plus, it’d allow him to continue wasting time on his phone.

“You,” he gently places her on the middle of the bed as he stands, “are not taking my Saturday from me with your tiny incapable hands.”

With one hand he grabs the bag off the floor and sets it on the bed beside her, opening it and digging through its contents. You were right, the thing is loaded with diapers and many different plastic objects.

Keys, babies love keys.

That toy seems the best choice, taking that and a blanket out before putting the bag on the floor nearby, holding the baby like a barrel under his arm while he flattens the blanket, then placing her on her belly.

He dangles the keys in front of her, watching as her eyes widen as she takes a horribly aimed swipe towards them. With a laugh tinged snort he lets her have them, sitting with his back against the bed and taking his phone out, resuming his leisure hobby.

A minute passes before he peeks over at her to make sure she’s still there, idly chewing on an orange key. It reminds him of something a puppy would do, up until she shoves it in way too far.

He drops his phone and yanks the keys away with concern she’ll vomit, not expecting her to look so upset over it. Briefly she contentedly waits for them to be returned, but when it becomes apparent they aren’t, she scowls.

“No,” he preemptively says, putting the keys down at his other side to keep them away, “you did something fucking stupid, so now they’re off limits. Don’t get all upset over it.”

She huffs and slams a hand down a few times, making a ‘gah’ with very demanding intent.

“I said no. Let me find something else then, calm down.”, he says as he reaches over to grab something random out of the bag, finding a plush red dinosaur. “See? Fun. Chew on this.”

He sets it down in front of her, and she immediately pushes it over, repeating herself. If nothing he gives her credit for having a strange amount of object permanence.

“I. Said. No. The fuck do you want me to do? You’re the one who can’t handle having the damn thing!” With a curt ‘no’ as a final statement, he leans over her to shove the keys back into the bag.

This turns out to be a huge mistake.

In a universally understood way, her face screws up as she starts taking in heavy breaths, which makes his eyebrows raise.

“Don’t. No crying.” his tone is as assertive as he can get it, shaking his head as if to cement it. Her tiny face turns red, sniffling once before fat tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

With no idea what to do in this situation, he starts rummaging through the bag for a solution, diapers spilling out as he digs for a similar toy if there even is one. He cringes as she really starts crying, caving and getting the keys back out, giving them to her. “See? See??”

She either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, bawling in the way only babies do, arms giving out as she lays down.

His instincts on consoling anyone are terrible and usually not to be followed but he acts without thinking, picking her up and setting her in his lap, bouncing his leg as he pets her back, softly shushing her, ignoring the part of him that does in fact wish to yell at the baby.

Her tiny body trembles, pawing at his shirt as she rubs her tear stained face into it. Continuing to follow his instincts he lifts her up, both arms cradling her as her head rests against his shoulder. She does eventually calm, relaxing as quiet hiccuping replaces her sobs, breathing regulating.

She's effectively soothed, he on the other hand is completely shaken up.

Jesus, why did that scare him so much? He’d heard babies cry before and always was irritated by it, but this time there was something so different about it. Even now his heart is still racing, mouth dry as he stares forward into the wall with a mixture of worry and gratefulness.

Once she’s relaxed, he picks up the previously discarded dinosaur, placing it in his lap next to her. Thankfully, she seems to have forgotten about the keys, happy to latch onto the plushy.

He takes his phone back out with the intent to resume his earlier scrolling, but he can’t entirely take his eyes off her. He’s more interested in watching her reactions than he’d ever admit.

In some ways she reminds him of you, mainly the eye color and the way her cheeks pinch up when she smiles.

You seem the motherly type to him so he assumes you’re leagues better at this than he is, but you’ve never mentioned having to babysit her before.

In fact you’ve never mentioned her before at all.

Maybe you enjoyed doing it but kept quiet so you didn’t have anyone intruding or asking to see her, babies can feel stranger danger so that made sense, it’d probably be overwhelming. She doesn’t hate him though, maybe you knew that she wouldn’t?

Despite the panic she’s sent him through he really wouldn’t mind watching after her again. It'll probably be easier with you here, though he isn’t sure what he’d do if you were, he’d just be sitting around while you did everything.

God, she is really goddamned adorable. He smirks as he takes a second to allow himself to outwardly express something positive, watching her slap her tiny hand against the toy.

Usually the idea of having a baby is the worst one anyone can have, but right now he isn’t all that opposed to it. Not that it looks simple, more that it looks to be worth it.

He knows he’d make super cute babies, based on what he looks like and has always looked like the kid would outshine any other snot maker.

While he didn’t know what you looked like as a baby he just assumed you did too, briefly considering what a baby would look like if it came from you and him.

He’s got his mother's blonde hair despite his father's brunette coloring so that’s a dominant trait, possibly overriding your own but who can know, it’d more likely have more of your features.

Out of anything he’d want a little girl just like this one, though he’d be happy with anything as long as it's yours. Your features have always been something he likes, face as well as body, you’re built well in every aspect he tends to care about.

That, and your winning personality, even he can see that it’s a very pleasant contrast to his own. A kid with a mixture of both would be undoubtedly unstoppable, making him proud left and right.

Suddenly the thought bubble pops as reality rises to the surface.

You’re not his and he doesn’t like you anyways, this doesn’t bear so much thinking since it’ll never happen.

A heat takes to his cheeks as he tries to move on and pretend he wasn’t having a domestic fantasy involving you, mostly pretending he hadn’t had any fantasies about you.

It was something that’d creep into his mind sometimes.

Kirishima and Deku tended to have some softer traits alongside their bolder ones but it just wasn’t the same coming from either of them.

You had a certain tenacity to you, it was totally within your options to let some rich older man take care of you but you wanted more for yourself, you wanted to be a hero.

It made you strong, and you were strong because you worked for it constantly. As thick as your innocence tended to be, he was fairly confident you could knock him unconscious if it strikes you as the right choice.

He shook his head and made an effort to clear out all his emotions, directing his attention back towards the baby to ground himself.

At some point during his daydreaming she’d knocked out cold, the dinosaur laying on the floor beside him, propped up against his chest, quietly snoozing while drooling a slight amount. Even if he wanted too he couldn’t be grossed out, it was way too cute of a sight for him to get mad.

Looking at her makes him feel tired, so he decides that taking a nap wouldn’t be a terrible idea. Careful to avoid waking her, he shifts around to get comfortable, hooking an arm around her so she doesn’t teeter backwards while he’s moving.

He thinks about whether he should turn her over and lay her on the blanket, unsure of what the proper protocol is.

His neck is gonna get super fucked up if he stays sat like this, so he very slowly gets up and lays on his bed, keeping her held to his chest until he’s flat enough to let gravity do the work. For a moment he returns to thinking about laying her on a flat surface but he lets her stay as she is, being a light sleeper means he’ll be able to deal with any problems if there are any.

After thanking Aizawa for the extra sparring lesson, you quickly get yourself showered and changed.

It’s been about two hours since you left her with Bakugou and you were getting increasingly worried he was reaching his limit.

Honestly you didn’t expect to be gone this long, but you were glad you gave him the estimate because it meant he’d have less reasons to be upset with you.

You prepare yourself for him to yell at you for leaving him alone with a demon for so long, even if she’s rarely a problem you do suspect he’ll be dramatic.

Still, it was a godsend that he said yes to begin with, you were going to make sure to tell him that.

When you get to his room you don’t bother with knocking, opening it to let yourself in without hesitation.

You were going to say something, but you forget the instant you lay eyes on the scene in front of you.

Practically swooning, you place a hand over your mouth to prevent making any noise, getting your phone out to document perhaps the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

He’s laying on his bed, one arm over her and one over his eyes to block out the light, her tiny hands secured around the collar of his shirt, both of them peacefully asleep.

Not intending it to be blackmail but being aware it would probably become that, you take pictures from several different angles, wanting nothing more than to show everyone.

Though, for his own sake, you don’t actually send them anywhere near the class.

This doesn’t mean you don’t send them all to his mother, you do.

It does pain you to know you’ll have to hold off on showing people lest the information come back to him, but you do make it your phones home screen anyways.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou baby shenanigans #fluff #mha fluff #SFW #gender neutral reader #gn reader #bakugou katuski x reader #a03 fic

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dreams-inbetween-dying-realities · 3 years ago

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Man.. it’s been forever.

So in my own little weird corner of the internet, I finally have a spot, I think. I finally moved, got out of the hell I was living in, stuff finally got better, but now.. I’m away from everyone I ever knew. God this is gonna be a long one, but I feel the need to scream into the endless void of the internet. So, I know we aren’t exactly popular, this isn’t gonna reach that many people, or anything like that, and frankly, we don’t expect it to. I just hope some of the right people out there see it, and I hope it stays, just.. as a piece of me. I always liked reading other people’s words, even after they were long gone, so.. let me add to the pile. We have been abused our whole life, by parents and adoptive parental figures alike. We have been abused and neglected by friends, family, everyone we could ever have reached out to. We’re finally out of it all, and we couldn’t be more happy. Even though we’re away from it all, we still feel it’s here, dragging us down.. the more and more we get back up, it’s like another brick’s been tossed on the pile. Oh well.. right? Get back up, keep walking. Being an adult is fun, being an adult is an utter living hell. Having to sort through every little legal issue is taxing, and it’s getting harder and harder to explain to the new people we have in our lives what it all means, or how we are. Hell, it’s getting harder and harder to meet these new people. We have to find people to care for and about us, we have to find partners.. friends.. new family even, being as the one we spawned with ditched us when the match started. Hell, we only have one friend still.. he’s the most amazing bro on the planet.. if ya ever meet him, give him a hug for us.. he needs one. Little tiny tea errors I suppose.. all the little problems just keep building up, sorting through them is hell, they’re all different from what we’re used to. Just a little mistake.. here and there.. adding up.. slowly we’re drowning in them.. Sure now we have internet that works, a decent PC, a lovely setup, some goddamned privacy.. but that’s.. all we have. It’s the little things that matter, magical internet. Remember that. Could save your life one day. Don’t ask me how, I don’t know.. but it could. The chance is never zero. Onto some positives.. we finally feel like we belong somewhere! With the aforementioned privacy, we’ve been able to get things we needed to done rather easily, the internet access has made everything else easier, the music hasn’t killed us yet.. the partners we did have are still hanging around somewhere.. games are still fun.. writing has become a hobby again, instead of a labor-inducing chore. Reading is a hobby again.. model building is no longer a required coping mechanism.. music making too.. we only have to deal with the needed adult things.. we have free time that isn’t occupied by screaming fucktards.. it’s nice. Maybe come get to know us a bit? I dunno.. we’re a bunch of unique fools stuck together... interesting taste in hobbies and music.. generally chill.. I personally get called a father figure a lot by my online friends.. I don’t know if this is a call for help and support.. or a rant into the void anymore.. and frankly I don’t think I need to care. No one’s ever going to see this, let alone read this far. If you did, I’m sorry I wasted your time. I might post some of what I write on here.. Dev might as well.. maybe some art.. Who knows? Only you will! Nah.. I won’t be funny here.. this is kinda serious. Show me how.. Show me how to breathe.. (For the record, we are a system, DID to be specific, if you’re curious as to why we’re using “we/we’re” pronouns.)

#tw depressing stuff #this is bullshit #this is us #did #bullshit #rant #random rant #sorry for the rant #etc

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rouiyan · 4 years ago

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𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘜𝘊𝘒 𝘐𝘕 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘎𝘖𝘈𝘓 [ 𝘭.𝘥𝘩 ]

⧏ hyuck’s installment of the keep your cool collective ⧐

synopsis: you’ve decided that the boy in ‘66’ is yours.

✧ ice hockey player!hyuck x (fem.) reader x ice hockey player!jeno + best friend!renjun

✧ genres : fluff, minor angst ✧ word count : 2.3k ✧ disclaimer : swearing

✧ author’s note — finally my brain had the gall to pull through with this idea but i'm left with the realization that all my hyuck fics are just him simping for u.

hyuck internally sighs, his head ringing and ankles sore, as the buzzer goes off, signaling the end of the third round. he’s almost elated, even though he’s sure his team hasn’t won, by just the fact that the game is over. hyuck is by no means sick of ice hockey but lately, the mere idea of it drives him into exhaustion. as he turns to expect the disappointed stare of his coach, he’s surprised when he’s met with a halfhearted smirk. weird, the coach should know more than anyone how lazily this game had played out. but then, as an afterthought, he checks the scoreboard and realizes with an oh shit, that they were tied with the opposing team, somehow.

his line of vision is parting from the board when he makes unfortunate eye contact with the person entering the rink. your hair is pulled back with a pale pink scrunchie and your outfit is a certified mess of oversized hoodie and sweat shorts upon white sneakers. he can quite literally feel the heat that is quick to rush to his cheeks, unfailing to hide his flustered state. he knows he looks stupid but he still can't help but stare and ogle at new and blatant eye candy as she crosses the threshold into the cold space. half your figure is now covered by the wall that separates the stands with the rink though it doesn't matter because he's still equally enamoured by simply your presence.

"hyuck, why you staring at y/n?"

hyuck can only wince inwardly as he stutters out, "that's- that's y/n?" it seems unfair that renjun's been hoarding such a pretty specimen to himself. "like your best friend, y/n?"

"yeah, what about her?"

"br-bro, you never mentioned that she was pretty."

"hey, don't even think about it. you're the last possible person i'd set her up with. plus, she's with jeno, they went on a date after practice last time, remember?"

there's an underlying disappointment in donghyuck's tone when he's only able to produce a soft, "oh," because frankly he doesn't know why he's so worked up over someone who he's never even met and that's also dating one of his close teammates. amidst his confused trance, he almost fails to notice his coach call for a pre-game huddle.

he ends up tuning out most of it, now distracted by how jeno keeps glancing back at you and making funny faces, you returning them with the! cutest! little expressions he has ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes upon. the rest of the game is played out with enthusiasm on his part, even going so far as scoring in two more points. he's quick to doubt the truth but donghyuck knows that it's whoever that girl is in the front seats that's making him outdo himself.

the game ends and his team wins, claps and cheers at how the game had turned around in their favor, but donghyuck reverts into a sulky demeanor as soon as he's off the rink and into the locker rooms. he notices jeno, being quick and almost feisty with the other boys that are taking too long for his liking in hogging the showers. donghyuck assumes it has something to do with the (gorgeous, wtf) girl that's waiting on him for a date. hardly fair, he thinks, if only he'd met you earlier by chance, he knows he'd definitely have the ability to charm you out of your wits. after all, he's smart, his face is undeniably agreeable, his sense of humor is top notch, and well, what's not to like?

instead of getting closer to you as he so hoped he would, he ends up becoming more familiar with the routine disappointment, and yet delight, at seeing you show up after practices, games, and eventually, team gatherings outside the rink. he's okay with it, he thinks. but it becomes frequent, even, that you show up out of the blue, with the invitation from jeno, and he's starting to lose his cool when it comes to the simplest of interactions. being included in a conversation with you was no problem, as long as he wasn't talking. eye contact? bearable, but not for more than half a second. and the utmost unfortunate luck for the boy if you ever asked him to pass you a fork, or a spoon, or a goddamned napkin.

he's not so sure anymore, one sullen night, that he could ever make you his, even if he was gifted the chance. when you're not by jeno's side, you're by renjun's, and if that isn't telling enough about how uncomfy you feel around everyone else, he wouldn't know any better. but even laying within the deepest, darkest parts of night, the screen on his phone displaying your more recent instagram post of you on jeno's back, a sun setting beach painted behind the two of you, he finds his heart yearning to know more about you. he knows you're not one to reach out, to make friends unless in a situation that calls for it, so he supposes now is as good as a time as any to shoot his shot, at being friends.

he braves himself for this hefty task. his breaths are ragged and his heart is already hammering a deep crater inside his chest at just the thought of following through with his plan. his fingers are shaking and his pupils are twitting at about the same pace and it appears that none of his bodily functions seem to be within his control anymore. but before he can press the button, his door is thunked wide open with a hard force, the handle even going so far as to lodge itself neatly into the wall that's now been broken through. donghyuck's mouth is hanging ajar but he's barely surprised to see that the culprit of such heinous and costly action is jeno. lee jeno.

donghyuck makes swift and subtle actions to shove his phone underneath his pillow but when he takes a good look at the boy's face, he realizes that he didn't need to be so discrete in the first place. jeno's eyes are swollen, and not in the way that suggests he got into a big manly manly fight and came out the victor, but in the way that looks as if his three cats died, all at once, and he'd taken it upon himself to cry for each of their mothers respectively.

the same eyes rove about the room before settling on the bed, his body following suit but moving as if it were part of another entity entirely. the mattress sinks down low with his body weight and he repositions himself so that he's laying down comfortably, his legs still hung over and down the side. donghyuck can hear jeno's ragged breaths, not unlike his own a minute ago, and he wonders what hell of a day the boy had had to render him into this state of numbed consciousness. but before he can even form the question that sits at the edge of his mind, jeno's voice reverberates lowly in the silence of the room.

"she broke up with me," donghyuck blinks purposefully, "something 'bout how she thinks she might like someone else, fucking bastard."

"is she the bastard?" donghyuck tries to disassociate his feelings from his words and come across as...helpful in lifting his friend's mood.

jeno chuckles, "no, hyuck, she's not the bastard. bastard's the guy who has her heart. i'm glad she told me though, she's never been one to hide things."

"yeah, would've been worse if she dragged it on, huh."

"yeah, a lot worse."

donghyuck's voice almost gets caught within the confines of his rationality, "did she tell you who he- the bastard is?" he sighs inwardly, knowing that this was none of his business whatsoever, but the desire to know seeps into his thoughts.

jeno sighs as well, "no, not really. she said it was some boy on the team though, might even be you now that i think about it."

"oh," is, yet again, the only thing he is able to produce.

the new revelations seem to give life to donghyuck. the mere idea that there's a possibility of interest in his direction is something that he thrives off of. mundane tasks like washing the dishes are now enjoyable hobbies, no actual brain work, head empty, thoughts of you exclusively. when it comes to practice, you're no longer there, your presence reduced to hushed talk between the boys and renjun, asking him if you really are the reason jeno's been so out of it, letting easy pucks into the goal left and right. hyuck is relieved, though, that he gets a break, a step back to rethink his crazed emotions. maybe it really was just simple infatuation. maybe it was just because he hadn't gotten laid in awhile. or even just the fact that he's been hanging out with the boys too much and that the first girl he set his eyes on in days ultimately became the protagonist to his daydreams. hell, he is especially glad that you decided it wasn't worth showing your face at the rink for the time being for jeno would've been downright devastated.

that whole paragraph of feelings is bluntly disregarded and thrown off track as he enters the corner cafe a few blocks down from his house and is met with you waving your hand excitedly at him and motioning for him to sit with you. he doesn't hesitate, of course, but makes sure he takes slow and deliberate steps to the window booth you're sitting at just to make sure he at least gets in four deep breaths before he is inevitably subjected to not breathing in your presence.

"hyuck, it's been awhile, i hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable or anything," your face morphs into an expression of realization as it hits you that calling him over was entirely to satisfy your own hopes and dreams. the boy sitting across from you, smiling lightly, might as well be feigning a pleasant disposition, grossed out by the girl that dumped his friend just because she thought she was interested in someone else. by the end of this thought, your voice is reduced to a timid pitch, "you can leave if you want, it's all good."

"actually, i think that it'd be more uncomfortable for you if i left." he feels his heart constrict at the sight and the knowledge that his words enlightened your composure. you take it upon yourself to start some light conversation, not wanting to disclose the reason you'd called him over in the first place just yet. your heart picks up pace, rivaling hyuck's own, and you can't help but think of the sheer likeliness of the luck you'd just encountered. just as you decided to brave up for once and not take advantage of your best friend setting you up on one too many blind dates that were just, too artificial for you, the boy whom you had taken a liking for had shown up before your eyes, breezing through those glass doors as if it were a sign for you to just take charge.

"and i was telling him-"

"are you free friday?"

"what? oh, what?!"

"i'm asking if you're free friday."

"i- i mean yeah, i have practice at three, but i'm free afterwards."

"let's grab dinner together then."

"oh shoot, okay, like with the boys? 'cause i could ask them if they're down."

"no, i was hoping it could be just us. like a date."

"so, hold the fuck up, you're asking me out on a date?"

"yeah, why…? am i not allowed to do that? is going out on a date with me gonna break bro code or something?"

"n- no, nothing like that. it's just...you can't possibly be serious."

"oh, trust me, i'm dead serious."

"...holy shit, i'm in."

donghyuck fucks up big time at practice, his cheeks are way too hot and he's sweating gallons per second. his jaw is clenching and unclenching in hopes that the action might make him a little more attentive while on ice but instead, he finds his eyes roving over to your figure in the stands far more often than he'd like to admit. he thinks, no he hopes, that jeno is okay with the fact that you're not here for him but rather the 'boy on the team' he'd unknowingly referred to a few months back. hyuck knows, though, that renjun is definitely not okay with it, the aforementioned boy throwing just as many glares at hyuck as hyuck's many glances towards you.

practice is over long after he hoped it would be but you're patient and supportive nonetheless. his eyes crinkle and his smile widens as you sidle into him for warmth in the cool air of the ice rink. hyuck solves this by removing the hoodie from his own, accustomed body, and gently tugs it over your shivering one. he thinks he handles the wave of adoration that consumes him pretty well, even able to ease the corners of his lips down a tad bit. "you're cute," you pull at his cheeks and suddenly things are not so easy to handle.

donghyuck does eventually get used to all the sneaky shit you pull just to get his ears red and shy smile blossoming, but he knows he'll never get used to the sight of you in the stands, adorning his spare 66 jersey with everything else fading, and fading further away until it's just you and him, and him and you.

✧ end note — i hope you find someone that holds you in such high esteem as hyuck does in this fic, i'm sure you deserve it <3

#dreamwritersnet #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #nct haechan #haechanxreader #haechan fluff #haechan fics #nct scenarios #rouiyan fics #rouiyan writes

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techmomma · 4 years ago

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I don’t usually like to dwell on the end points of character timelines, not out of any sentimentality but because, well. I can’t play with my character if they’re dead. I mean like dead-dead, gone, not around anymore.I can’t play with a character who isn’t there >:U

I do think about futures frequently though. Ed I’ve talked about plenty of times, but I think I usually avoid TB.

In the best-case scenarios, ones where maybe TB and Nizar reconcile their ghosts, even just a little, and Nizar grows a spine, TB still ends up with some pretty harsh empty-nest syndrome when Momo moves out, even if TB, finally, accepted that as a possibility. He cannot help this, he is a momma bird at heart who needs something to mother.

But he does get to live long enough to see any great-grandchildren Momo gives him. Death couldn’t kill him before, can’t take him now when there’s a mini-Momo on the way!!!

He never really gets sedentary per se but the ship only runs at half-speed, as it were. He sometimes even—hard to believe, but true—takes naps. But he’s still always doddering about with something to do, boredom does not suit this little man in the slightest. Please, god, give this man a hobby-project. He still cooks and cleans and sews and pushes paper and gardens, he’s just more stiff at the end of the day.

His short-term memory is kinda starting to go though and it never quite gets to be a real problem, but he’ll absolutely have moments of spacing out or forgetting what he just did or why he entered a room. A quick prompt usually puts him back on his way. This is also why his office is littered in post-it notes and reminders now.

His home always ends up sort of a time capsule where the outside world sort of stops at the door, and everything’s mostly the same as it’s always been; TB’s just older and slower. But you can come in, and lunch and tea will be served at 3pm, just as it always has been, with chocolate or rose biscuits he made from scratch and one of several tea sets he switches between. You’ll sit on the same old sofas, and he’ll probably be mending or darning something while you sit there.

He’s probably having some ah. Complications from a shit-ton of wine and valium overindulgence over the years but the severity depends on how nice I feel and how much of his shit he deals with. But regardless, there’s always some degree of it.

He’s happier, addressing some of those old ghosts and finally, a little at a time, talking about Estella. But he’s so very sad, in an empty house with things as old as he is (and sometimes a partner who’s just as old). So yes he’s usually trying to convince Momo to bring over his kid. Maybe someone can convince Tibby to get a goddamn hobby already that involves taking care of children so he has somewhere to put his mother henning before he explodes.

It’s not perfect, but I think if he and Nizar get some form of communication and healing in their relationship, things usually come out okay for TB.

#tiberius poppyfeld #he’s the kind of little old man you can tell glares at Death every so often to make It recoil #yes he WILL get you to do things for him #he is but a Poor Old Man Who Forgets you see

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radoccultadvice · 5 years ago

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September 2020 Horrorscopes

Aries

What are you going to do with your life besides cry about it on Facebook chat? You’ve got to find a new way to express your rage at the uncaring void that is the universe. Get on Snapchat.

Your Omen for the Month - Every feather you see on the sidewalk means something. I just don’t know what.

Taurus

Oh hey, good to see you. We were looking through the classifieds earlier. Can you clean bird cages?

Your Omen for the Month - Look out for purple orcas. That would be pretty damn weird, right?

Gemini

You don’t get to solve problems for the rest of the month. Instead you will ask advice from Nextdoor and get to know your neighbors better.

Cancer

Try imitating your favorite muppet. This muppet will come to you in your dreams and tell you your real horoscope, but in indecipherable code.

Aquarius

Why does everyone keep screwing up around you? It’s a conspiracy to make sure you don’t grow complacent. One day, in the distant future, humanity will need you to write the definitive dictionary of all profanity, and you won’t be able to do it unless you’ve got proper ammo.

Leo

Why not take a break and enjoy the sunshine? Remember to apply a generous layer of sunblock. Also, some aloe vera to seal the moisture in. And some coconut oil for more moisturization. Then, stir in some powdered sugar, being careful not to form lumps. Next take your cake out of the fridge where it’s been cooling for the past 34 hours. You’ll have an easy time icing it now. Which is good because I mixed up the doc I was writing horoscopes in with the doc for cake recipes, and I don’t know what actually happens for you this month. Please enjoy the cake instead.

Virgo

It’s ok to open up sometimes. We all have our own inner tragedy. You can finally start talking about the rhinos. The goddamn, goddamn rhinos.

Libra

Take a page from someone else’s book. We suggest the auto repair section of the library--no one looks there.

Scorpio

Don’t feel bad if you skip out on social engagements. Nothing of real importance happens this month.

Sagittarius

When in doubt, try shuffling a deck of cards. Not to tell fortunes, I don’t know how to do that. It just makes you look really cool.

Capricorn

Stop being so negative. When someone asks you if you’d like to do something you don’t like, instead of just shutting them down, say: “Hey, that sounds like a great idea. Why don’t you try it with my alternate universe self? They’re free.”

Pisces

You know what they say: The more the merrier. Well guess what? For this month, as a Pisces, you get all 12 horoscopes at once! Having a hard time picking one? Try a D12!

Ophiuchus

You’re not a real sign, but the internet can’t stop talking about you. I know, it still seems pretty random, but I guess just go with it and maybe start a Twitch stream?

Your Omen for the Month - A stack of half-finished bullet journals falling off a shelf and reminding you of all your old abandoned hobbies.

-----

These are September’s Horrorscopes!

Want the omen for each sign, to be extra prepared for the month to come? Want an expanded version of each piece of advice that’s the length of Leo’s? (Of course Leo’s was the biggest.) Want more?

Check out BOA’s Patreon tier!

Cute image versions for you to share are popping up on Facebook and Instagram, and individual text posts to retweet are on Twitter!

Otherwise, see you next month with a new set of 12 horrorscopes and some omens!

PS: If any of these come true or become useful, feel free to let us know in the notes. I just write them all stream of consciousness, and after everything that’s happened this year, I’m ready to expect anything.

#bad occult advice #horoscopes #horrorscopes #astrology #witchcraft humor #witchcraft

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silvermuffins · 3 years ago

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NieR:Automata: oof, been a hot minute

Let me hit up two big topics before we dive in, for the maybe five people who will read this and the one of you who was awaiting this but already knows the deal: Firstly, the five month absence of anything from me was the result of work getting super busy (STOP MAKING YOUR MOVIES TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG, HOLLYWOOD, NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS THAT). My other hobbies also got busy. And, well, both getting the PS4 going and liveblogging as I play games took more spoons than I was left with. Things are finally kind of chill again, at least for now, AND the two cats who pilot my meaty contraption actually agree on what to do, so here I am! Secondly, my laptop's keyboard is kind of fucky and some specific keys ain't workin' right. They are: A D B N X , . / - and enter. We may see some typos, folks! Or some completely incomprehensible bits, won't that be fun!

ANYWAY, let's get into it!

haven't even started the game, have no memory of where i'm at so we're just gonna Go

man i need a less awk setup

oh right fuck i got new internet and need to hook my ps4 up to it

hot damn i actually remember the new wifi password. doot doot updates and shit, probably shoulda done this before i started the post but you know what, I have never once in my life not been a disaster so why would i suddenly start now

okay NOW we Go

see if i even remember how to play

probably not

i have sidequests to turn in!

gee this map really is a lot bigger than i got to explore the first time through the game....hmmm

being friends with the meeses now really do be like "/walks out of vending machine" "/suddenly, MOOSE"

this leadup suggests either i am going to have to fight Jackass or she is going to explode me

i am pretty sure there is lore somewhere in this game as to why there is no day/night cycle but fuck if i have found it

found the Cruel Blood Oath! I am excited for this sword purely because my bestie and I used it for something in some of our secret fandom shenanigans--

i feel like this "project gestalt" is going to be relevant somehow

anyway i found jackass and it feels weird because i think even without the whole....alternate runthrough thing we've technically met her before

9S sweetheart please don't try to lie, you're bad at it

speed star wont talk to me which is fine because i suck at his quest anyway

fuck you, sir star

oh right this sidequest was shaping up to make me feel weird in the moral bits, like several others have done

Type-E?

ooooh

oooooooooh

dont like that

creepy chant starts up!

............i have questions about if those she was ordered to kill were really deserters

..............

well. at least she DID pay me.

2B did not confirm she didn't know

time to have a go at Daddy Serves

......i regret typing that but fuck it it's staying in

so he has 10 levels on me but i fight well and have healing items

.....sir are you going to just, have me cutscene kill you, or do i gotta get through another hp bar first?

iiiiiit's the latter

anyway pascal gave me monies thank u pascal

....wait what was i supposed to do to progress plot again? where do i find that out??? is there a main quest tracker somewhere???

literally right on the front of the goddamned menu letty be less stupid

....i don't have much to say to this part, okay, i already did it as 2B

i sorta wish i could find a list of the sidequests that are only completable as 9S? and maybe of the hackable things. just for completion's sake.

my cat really wants snuggles but has something against bent knees so she won't lapcat

forgot a dead machine's head hatches into emil

wha

flashback to the forest king founding....

time to finish off the photographs sidequest! see if this one will make me feel uncomfy in the moral bits,

it did not!

but as usual it was pretty existential

....i am losing steam i think imma call it here tonight

#letty plays shit #letty plays nier automata #nier automata #palletred #for your reading pleasure #sidequest hell tho #dude what if 9S actually sees this extra stuff im getting this playthrough #and he just doesn't fuckin tell anyone #that would be neat to play with #i STILL have feelings about the forest king #kinda a short one tonight #but my gaming chair gets cold #am sleepy

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violetnotez · 5 years ago

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Rookie |3|

Dabi x UA Traitor! reader

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WOW I finally posted??? 😦😦 Now that my school has been cancelled (thanks Corona!) I’ll finally be able to write a little more! 😋 I’m going to end this little series so I start working on other requests and fics I have ideas for

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Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3702

Warnings: cursing, Dabi being a WhOrE

Summary: Dabi has begun training you since your the newest rookie to enter the LOV, and things get a little heated.

|1| |2| |3|

(RULES | | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS CLOSED|

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Recap:

-----------------------------

“Oh he didnt tell you?” Dabi smiled evilly, making your heart race. “We’re going out training tonight- just you and me.”

You internally screamed. What the hell Shigaraki?! He knew how much of a pervert Dabi secretly was- he didnt try that hard to hide it. SO why was Shigaraki trying to screw you over by placing you with this man you were slowly gaining reluctant feelings for?

“ Shigaraki thinks it would be a good idea for me to train you,” Dabi continued, hardly noticing the terror erupting inside you from being alone with him, “ since our quirks are similar. Help you feel out how to work alongside me once we put our plan into place.”

You simply nodded your head, trying to pretend you were cool and collected about learning this new information.

“Smart-alright, I’m in. I just need a place to change into my costume.”

“Oh, thats alright princess- I don't mind if ya do it right here. Matter of fact- I’d really love it if you do.”

-----------------------------

You and Dabi were standing in the middle of an empty field, the air around you warm and full of flaming embers, reds and blues mixing into purple in the night sky.

“Fix your form-your not focusing your power right.”

“Well maybe if somebody would stop dodging,” you panted out, your chest filling with slight annoyance,”I’d maybe- be able- to aim properly!”

You and Dabi had been doing this for quite a while, at least 30 minutes.

After that fateful day you had come to the LOV offering information for the Villian group, (particularly about Izuku Midoriya), in exchange for a place on the League, Shigaraki had been hesitant to let you join. But he had begun to realize you could be a good asset to the League of Villians after seeing how powerful your quirk could be. You had the look for a Villian: when you activated your powers, your body would turn a bright red, your eyes turning a deadly black color. Your powers were equally as interesting, as you could control fire on one side of your body while your other side was able to read the mind of anybody you touched. You went by “Demon”, and even though it annoyed Shigaraki to no end that you used a “stupid nickname”, he couldn’t avoid the fact that you could be good addition to the team. You were now training with Dabi under Shigaraki’s orders for your mission to invade UA at their summer camp, information you had generously given to Shigaraki as you were a student at the prestigious hero school.

“Or is it because your still flustered from changing into your suit?”

Dabi has moments ago given you your new Villian outfit, the feeling of the tight outfit restricting your breathing slightly with how heavy you were panting.

He grinned devilishly, making your already red cheeks redder. His icy blue flames came dangerously close to your skin, the scorching heat singing the tips of your hair.

“Watch it doll, we don’t want to be burning that pretty face of yours, do we?”

You threw him a dirty look, your chest heaving against the black material of your new suit. You were tired and overexerted, while Dabi stood there calmly, almost amused as sweat began to trickle down your fiery red skin: your quirk couldn’t last for long, no more than an hour at a time, and you could feel the power you had over it slowly diminish already. It took a lot for you to hold on to your altered form, which was something you had been working on at UA.

You shifted your feet, grounding yourself into the soft dirt. Even though Dabi was extremely attractive and a huge flirt, you wouldn’t allow him to make a fool out of you. You would use every last ounce of your power to make sure that he knew you were strong enough to fair against him.

“Well-“ you huffed out, “if somebody wasn’t trying to keep sneaking peeks like a perv-I wouldn’t have been all flustered in the first place!”

You threw a large fireball, the flames licking dangerously close to Dabi’s stomach, his torso swiveling a few seconds before it made an explosive impact. The flames hit a nearby tree, engulfing it in a ball of gray smoke as Dabi looked at you in shock.

“Guess I’m not the only one who needs to watch themselves, huh?” You snickered proudly at his dumbfounded expression.

Dabi shook his head, a deep chuckle rumbling in his chest. You were too damn persistent on one upping him-it was pretty cute. And that damn fireball was pretty powerful-he wouldn’t ever expect that much force to come from you. He watched as your face continued to hold that triumphant smile, even as your legs began to shake and your shoulders slumped from exhaustion. You were overexerting yourself, and he felt a part of him feel respect for you for putting up so much of a fight against him. He had to admit, as much as he was trying to play it off that he was in control, you were giving him a slight workout. They were obviously doing something right at UA, because a little newbie like you shouldn’t being fairing so well against an experienced Villain like him.

“You were lucky that time-I was distracted.” Dabi smirked again, letting his eyes travel up and down your body, allowing it to be blankly obvious that he was eyeing your form.

He was overly pleased with how your new Villain suit turned out- it was elegant, mysterious, and absolutely gorgeous on your figure. Not to mention that it hugged your body from head to toe. Dabi’s mouth was practically watering every time you did any type of maneuver that showed off your chest or your ass. Dabi’s mind was deep in the gutter, imagining what it would feel like to grab you. He loved to imagine how it would feel to coax sweet little moans out of you, to let his hands travel your body like he had wanted to do for so long.

Something about you made you irresistible to Dabi, as if you were this rare gem that had fallen into his life that he wanted so badly to be his.

“Distracted?” You panted, straightening your back as you tilted your head. “Or just looking somewhere your weren’t supposed to?”

Dabi shrugged, that proud smirk still plastered in his face. “Maybe a little bit of both.”

Your eyes looked down, your mouth biting the tender skin on the inside. Every Time he flirted with you, you got overly flustered-it was like Dabi had a hold of your precious feelings and he toyed with them like a hobby. You huffed out your breath, your lips in a slight pout. You wouldn’t let him get into your head-not that easy.

Dabi’s hand twitched, the image of your lips plumped out like that making his body go into overdrive. You had the most gorgeous face he had ever seen- with your lips moving all so prettily like that, he couldn’t help but just want to eat you up right then and there.

You let your feet leave the traction of the dirt, running quickly to charge him. Your body engulfed in flames, your hand and suit on your right side lighting up in a flurry of red and orange. The sweet night wind brushed against your skin, making the fire crackle and spit dangerously as you tried to land yet another hit.

Dabi dodged each one with ease, as if he had been anticipating each one. You grunted, swiveling your legs around in a crouch. You wanted so badly to prove it to him, to yourself, that you were worthy of a place in this team.

“Why are you trying so hard, Demon?” Dabi asked calmly, as if reading your mind. “Have something to prove?”

“No-“ you lied, wiping a bead of sweat off your forehead, “just feeling like kicking your ass a little.”

Dabi smirked, licking his bottom lip. God, why was your determination so goddamn hot to him?

He looked down at your body, noticing that your skin wasn’t a fiery red anymore- a few patches of your skin were turning into your original pigment, like paint being smeared off of skin. Dabi smirked-you were tired. How precious.

He quickly threw a blue flame your way, making you shriek as you dodged it.

“Dabi, what the hell-“ you yelled in shock.

Dabi swiftly grabbed your arm, now dangerously close to you now. His figure was towering over your smaller frame, his eyes scanning your body.

“You sure it’s just about beating me?” He interrogated in a low voice. You gulped, those icy blue eyes glaring into your soul, the warmth of his hand dangerously close to burning your skin.

“Or is it because of something else?

You stayed quiet-you couldn’t possibly tell him why you were trying so hard. You couldn’t even figure it out yourself. You knew you were so happy to be doing exactly what you knew you were capable of-but the past kept surfacing in your mind. The name calling, the fear, the suppression you faced because of how scary your quirk is-hell, your own family were terrified of you applying to UA because they didn’t want the world knowing who you truly were. They argued you to stay home, to go to a normal high school, not one meant for hero training.

“It’s safer,” you remembered your mother saying, “nobody will bother you if you don’t use your quirk.”

You knew they were just worried for you-your quirk did have many giving you strange stares once you activated it, some cringing out of terror. You were called names all the time, many of them unpleasant-everyone who knew of your quirk seemed to think you were a monster. And even if you did get someone who seemed more interested than scared than you, you’d always get the same remark-

“You’d make a very good Villian.”

“How’s UA doing? Having fun at your little Hero school?” Dabi broke through your thoughts, his low, silky voice sending a shiver down your spine as his grip tightened slightly.

“UA is….doing,” you shrugged, not wanting to gaze into those blue eyes. Everytime you looked into them, you seemed to lose all control over yourself.

You tried to use Dabi’s little small talk to get out of his intense hold, yanking your arm away with sudden force. Dabi seemed to anticipate your movements, as he quickly yanked your arm again, a quiet gasp slipping out your lips as he pushed your back painfully into his chest, immobilizing you.

“Just doing? Seems to me you're hiding something,” he snickered huskily into your ear, loving how flustered you became. Your heart was pacing, your legs shaking-the hold you had on your quirk was slipping as Dabi overpowered you. You shimmied harshly, only getting Dabi’s hold on you to be stronger.

“I think I know what’s going on-you want to prove your not a hero,” Dabi grinned devilishly, loving the feeling of your body against his, “You want to show your different from them. Why is that Demon?”

His voice was so calm and silky: he knew he was in control, and he was drinking up every second of it.

You huffed, a single strand of hair falling in your face. Those few words were sending your body into a frenzy, a sudden heat flooding your chest at those simple words. But even though Dabi was turning you into a flustered mess, unwanted Memories began to flood in your head:

You remembered Getting into UA and being put into Class 1B, the excitement and slight disappointment filling your body-your classmates crying in shock when you transformed for the first time, some shouting why you were even in one of the Hero courses if you looked so scary.

You remembered the way the teachers tried to cover you up, your hero suit completely covering your skin as if it wasn’t right for you to show off your quirk, at least just a little bit.

That whole school reeked of superstition and prejudice.

How foolish you were to think being a hero would gain you acceptance in society.

You grunted again, trying to get out of Dabi’s tight hold.

“Let’s just say,” you chided,

“I was a little demon thrust out of hell.

Because the Devil couldn’t cope with me.”

Dabi let those words sink in, absorbing each syllable you spoke.

He smiled, a chuckle rumbling out his chest, the vibration causing your back to shiver. He knew exactly what you were going through-you hated this world, this world that shut you out for being different.

“I’ve never heard truer words, dollface.”

Dabi let go of you, surprise flooding your body. You turned around, rubbing your arm, the skin beginning to turn back to your normal pigment.

Dabi stared down at your annoyed face, a soft smile unlike his usually seductive, lazy one gracing his bicolored lips.

He had never related to someone more, and it somehow being you made a strange sensation fill him. He still found you unbelievably attractive, the imprint of your body forever ingrained in his mind, making him wish you could stay close to him forever-but he now just wanted you for more than that. Something about you made him go crazy inside, this electric attraction he just couldn’t ignore.

You looked back at him, confusion plastered on your face-his smile was so much more...tranquil, blissful. He was looking at you with such adoration it made your heart palpitate and flutter with each passing beat.

“Why are you looking at me like that Dabi?” You smiled weakly, a blush creeping on your cheeks.

His slender fingers found themselves to the crook of your chin, raising it so he could see more of your beautiful face in the moonlight.

“Just wanted to see my little Demon a little better,” he grinned, that ever creeping blush making his insides go wild.

“What do you mean your-“ you began, but couldn’t finish as Dabi’s lips rammed themselves onto yours.

The kiss was anything but soft-it was rough, full of raw, unfulfilled emotions Dabi had been feeling for so long. His lips were strong, the scarred skin and metal prickling into your tender skin. But he was holding back-his wasn’t trying to overly touch you, which would surprised the hell out of you if you weren’t completely in shock.

You were tense, your brain going a million miles a minutes. He was kissing you? You knew he had some strange thing for you, he had made it panifully obvious, but you assumed it was a joke, a little game he liked to play- nothing serious that warranted this kind of desperate kiss. You were also terrified-doing this with Dabi muddled your plans-it created an emotional attachment you didn’t want.

You were scared of being rejected again like so many other times for being yourself.

But Dabi had accepted you, right? He was never phased by your transformation-in fact he seemed in awe with it. He didn’t treat you differently, or make you feel strange in your own skin-but then again, he was a Villian. He could be doing that to somehow get something of value out of you.

You felt your left hand itch, the hand that allowed you to look in other peoples minds-to see their deepest desires in that moment. Fear bubbled in you-this whole time you had been fighting with just your fire dominant hand from a far range. Your left hand scared you, it being the side that was harder to control for you. Who knew what you would see in Dabi’s mind? Were you ready to see whatever desires he wanted?

“Fuck it,” you thought blindly-you wanted to know, to get these confused emotions sorted out.

You tentatively kissed back, liking the roughness against you as you slide your shaking digits through his soft black hair.

An instant rush came over you, a blinding white light taking your vision whole.

Everything became hazy, the outer linings of your vision turning suddenly dark, gold flecks dancing across your eyes.

Your voice hitched, watching the blissful dream-like scene in front of you.

You were meet with another version of yourself, but instead, you were dressed in intricate black lingerie as you lounged on top of Dabi’s bare chest you both were sitting on a plush bed, your hips grinding into Dabi’s own. You were feverishly kissing his scarred neck as his hands traced every curve of your body hungrily, breathing moans of his name escaping out of you like a mantra. Both of you were so intense in your make out session, it was as if you two had never touched another person in your lives.

Before you could even process the scene, your sight instantly turned brighter as began to witness another desire.

You looked as you were again in something revealing, but not as sexual. This time, you were wearing a white shirt, it’s fabric loose around your body, it’s length stopping around your mid thigh. Something about that shirt was very recognizable: you craned your head for a better look, the unmistakable v-neck having to be Dabi’s own white shirt on your body. Your legs were tangled with his as you laid on his chest, the look on his face so blissful and sweet you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell.

Another and final blinding white light took over you, this time seeing something strange-it was an actual memory. It was the first time you and Dabi were alone together, you singing to one of your favorite songs as you were putting away papers for Shigaraki. Dabi has walked in on your little solo song session, you being too wrapped up in the lyrics to be that embarrassed. You had laughed as he rolled his eyes, expecting him to walk away like he did in real life.

But instead, he walked up to you, grabbing your hand, and twirling you around, bringing you gently close to his chest. He held you like that, your face a wreck as he chuckled. He had whispered something in your ear, making your eyes wide as he pulled you into a sweet kiss, the hazy lights quickly turning into black.

Your eyes shot open, all the images swarming into your head so quickly it made you feel dizzy. You instantly pulled away, feeling your chest begin to tighten as you stared at Dabi’s slightly confused face, that lazy smirk still on his lips.

“The hell was that?” he asked, malice gone from his voice as he looked at your now completely human form: it seemed like using your quirk sucked out any energy you had left.

“I-I,” yiu gulped, pushing a piece of hair away from your face, “I used my left side on you-I looked into your mind-“

“Huh.”

He looked towards the side, a thoughtful expression on his face. He didn’t really mind you looking in there-at least you knew how he felt towards you now. But the one thing that was concerning him was the last scene-he remembered that day, how he had found you so adorable, he just wanted to pick you up and never let you go. He wanted to tell you everything then and there-how attractive he found you, how you were so incredibly hot he couldn’t stand it, how he loved your personality and the way you got flustered-he loved every part of you, and wanted you to be his. But he didn’t-his emotions were too guarded. He didn’t want to be seen as weak, so he let that perfect moment go and he had been kicking himself in the ass for it ever since.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, swallowing thickly. He was too silent-you were terrified that he was angry with you for doing so intimate without his permission.

To your surprise, he smiled that mischievous grin that made your heart go crazy.

“No worries dollface,” he grinned, “I’m just happy we’re on the same page.”

“Now what I’m wondering,” he continued as he snaked a hand around your waist, pushing your body back into him, “is if you think the same about me?”

To your surprise, his voice wasn’t confident-he sounded almost nervous about your answer.

. “Maybe…,” You grinned, your voice shaking as you placed your hand again behind his head, “does this help?”

You then leaned your face, connecting your lips once again, feeling a delicious warmth fill your body. Dabi was this intense rush, with the harshness of his lips while his hands being so gentle, as if you were so delicate he could break you. His warmth was intoxicating, making you melt into his chest. You couldn’t breathe, the sensation and the smell of him turning your head into a fuzzy haze.

Finally, you were forced to part, both of your breaths a soft pant.

Dabi was in love with this-he desperately wanted to touch you more, to feel every part of you, but he knew he needed to take it slightly slow for you. Dabi knew he had to be a least a little patient-you were new to this lifestyle, this change in morales no matter how stubborn you were to say it. He didn’t want to overwhelm you- you had to walk before you ran. And right now, Dabi was surprised he was okay with this-you were intoxicating to be around, and just having a little intimacy was good enough for him.

“What were you telling me,” you asked in a daze, your feathery light voice making Dabi’s heart skip.

He cocked his head slightly in confusion, letting a hand rest on your hip.

“In the last scene,” you asked, “when you whispered-what did you say?”

He chuckled, that rumble in his chest making your chest tighten.

“I just wanted to know if you wanted to be mine,” he asked nonchalantly, as if it weren’t such a big deal.

“And what did I say?” You asked, your finger beginning to trace the outline of his collarbone.

His grip tightened on your hip, knowing full well you two were headed in dangerous territory if you kept up with touching him like that-you were making too damn hard to control himself.

“Yes,” he said through slightly gritted teeth, everything in him keeping from grabbing a handful of your ass.

“Huh-guess that little fantasy was right,” you smiled, bopping his nose delicately.

“What the hell?” His face instantly turned confused, a sweet laugh exploding out of your chest.

“Your so cute when you're startled,” you said between giggles, not noticing the way Dabi was looking at you with hunger in his eyes, his tongue licking his bottom lip.

“Ya know what would be even cuter?” He asked, his voice low and rough.

You hummed a response, your pretty eyes boring into his, making his stomach do a flip.

He grinned devilishly, knowing full well that what he was about to say would throw you for an unnecessary loop of emotions he had no remorse for doing.

“If we re-enacted that first little scene-think you’re up for some lingerie, dollface? Cause I know I am.”

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Tag List for this little Dabi Multi=Parter:

@cin-midnight @justaweaboonugget @missalicebaskerville @velvet-kissesss @nekee-lilac02 @rubyninja1 @placeoftime @lilushx @itskindofafairything @dinastilinski @cloudylove0601

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I hope you guys enjoyed this!!!! :)

223 notes · View notes

47pictures · 4 years ago

Text

“All-Star”

Link to original r/nosleep post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/mv9j9a/for_my_blog_i_toured_a_movie_studio_to_find_the/

________________________________________________________________

I finally made it to Hollywood… at least, I suppose that’s what I’d say if I were trying to make it big. That wasn’t exactly the case, though. On the contrary, my old hometown friend was the one who I’d say ‘made it big,' and she was the only reason I managed to get there. No way in hell I could just stroll through these Hollywood gates without some sort of reputation associated with my name.

I’m currently pursuing a degree in journalism, and right now I’ve got a pretty successful status as a blogger, and hopefully podcaster in the near future. My topics typically cover things involving entertainment, specifically movies, television, some celebrity gossip here-and-there, the ins and outs of the film and occasionally music industry, nerd topics about comic books or comic book movies, and I could go on. Essentially, all the things you’d expect from an entertainment blogger.

I don’t have a secret or special tip for how I grew a mass following. It just sort of happened. I did it since I was in high school - sophomore year, to be exact, and it started mainly as a hobby. Most people are surprised to hear that I was such a good writer and articulate for my age when they look back on the articles I’d put up during that time, speaking on topics such as the ‘downfall of blockbuster films,’ and the ‘toxicity of media's body standards on the youth.’ Truthfully, I didn’t know all of what I was saying half the time. Writing was sort of just my natural gift that I honed to where I could essentially bullshit anything well enough to make a great story. However, being ethical always remained my moral code.

The topic I was covering now involved my own personal ‘investigation’ of a famous movie studio known as Gemini Films. They’ve put out several flicks now that have garnered what most would consider moderate success (they're no Warner Bros. or Paramount, that's for sure). They deal mostly in the thriller/horror genre, sort of like Blumhouse. I’m a bit more in the sci-fi, comedy realm when it comes to my tastes, but really, I’m a bit of a pussy when it comes to scary stuff.

So why am I 'investigating' them? Well, as it turns out, it's their amazing use of special effects. Yep, that’s it. Special effects, that thing we fell for as children we called ‘movie magic,' and growing up learned that some of it were all the crafty work of well-put CGI. Though that’s usually the case, this time, something about Gemini Films seemed different. They’ve always been praised for their ‘hyperrealistic’ visual effects and pulling off stunts that would otherwise seem impossible. I was watching one of their action/horror films titled Last Thorn, and in a particular scene, a character’s on-screen death is, well, very lightly put, gruesome. I’ve seen my share of on-screen gore and played plenty of Mortal Kombat growing up, but I gotta say, I found the scene hard to watch. To clarify, it involved a character literally exploding before the camera, and from the way it was shot and the lack of cuts and edits typically required to create the illusion of a scene, it seemed quite real. A little too real…

They’ve done other things aside from their special effects department that some people on internet discussion forums found a bit too impressive. Take the actors, for instance. In their dramatic scenes, especially the horror flicks, I’m almost always convinced that the actors are actually going to die on screen. I’m surprised all of them haven’t been given Oscars yet, ‘cause goddamn, you’d think the director was holding them at gunpoint. We all saw just how amazing the acting was in films like Hereditary and The Babadook were, but I gotta say, after watching these films, they make those two look like child’s play (no pun intended to the Chucky series). I was so impressed with the actors that I had to look them up and see what other work they’d done, but from what I did find, their resumes didn’t seem that much greater than the work they’d done for GF. It was almost as if that was the peak of their careers unless they decided to further their contracts to star in any more of their movies. Anything else they did pale in comparison that showcased their acting chops.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jamie Douglas.

It had somewhat of household name potential, I thought. She was the next rising star. She’d just won a Golden Globe for her leading role in a TV series I’m sure no one had high hopes for in the beginning, and her name was now attached to an Academy Award-winning film for Best Original Screenplay, all at the age of 22. Her acting was stellar, always had been even growing up back in high school when we did theater together. I was never for the acting side of things; I always preferred the technical realm and behind-the-scenes work. She, however, had the ‘it’ factor. I never once doubted that she’d be famous. It was destined for her.

The taxi driver dropped me off in front of a luxurious one-story home in the Beverly Hills neighborhood, surrounded by other similar houses with a property value larger than what I’d probably make in my lifetime if I was being honest. From the outside, her home reminded me of that gilded, golden age of Hollywood back in the 60s, with a slanted roof and art deco-styled exaggerated features. It was nice and simple. But that’s how Jamie was. Nice and simple.

I could see her peeking through the curtains of her window before she came running out the door to meet me in the front yard. That big beautiful smile and those joyous eyes came rushing at me with open arms.

“Christian!” she screamed my name with excitement, as she gave me a big, suffocating hug.

I hugged her back with my free arm, as my other one was still carrying my trolley bag and she had that one pinned in her grip.

“I’m so glad you made it,” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, I made it to Hollywood, right?” I dryly humored.

Jamie giggled as she began to pull back from her hug and put both her hands on my shoulders.

“Yes we did,” she said with a big smile, flashing her perfectly straight, white teeth. “We sure did.”

She led me inside the house and gave me a tour. Compared to the outside, the inside was the complete opposite in regards to the decorative era. Whereas the exterior was ‘groovy’, the inside was a bit more with the times. Wide-open spaces, tan or beige-colored furniture and walls, a wide sliding door for the backyard where you can see the pool. Jamie recently moved into the house, so I figured there wouldn’t be a lot of things to fill it up with just yet.

“Someone said Bette Davis used to live in this house, which I knew was bullshit, otherwise the value on this home woulda been way outta my league,” Jamie commented.

I chuckled. “Oh, I think you’re well on your way, trust me,” I reassured.

I was going to be staying with her for a week while I did my journaling/blogging. We did tons of catching up. She gave me all the inside scoop of what goes on in Hollywood - or ‘Hollyweird’ as I liked to call it - and even some of her other famous neighbors you might recognize living double lives on the down-low. She said she’d been to a couple of big mansion parties as well, where you’ll see all sorts of celebs from different categories of entertainment. Actors, athletes, musicians, models, influencers, you name it. But Jamie insists that she doesn’t attend those very often, if hardly at all. She prefers to be a homebody when she’s not seeking work through her agent, and her extraversion mostly comes to play when it involves networking.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the night we stayed up watching TV and YouTube videos. One that fascinated both of us was a video explaining how scientists managed to find a way to make a perfectly cooked steak from a cow, but without actually harming or slaughtering it. Instead, they extracted a small sample of the cow’s cells and took it to a lab where the cells would essentially grow into muscle for it to be cooked later.

“I’d consider that over going vegan,” Jamie said.

But I grimaced at the thought. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem right,” I remarked.

"What, are you vegan?"

"No, not that. Just the thought of cloning animals, ya know?"

“I mean, it’s not like they’re killing the cow or anything. They said it’s perfectly unharmed.”

“I know, but still…”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning was day one for me. Jamie had the right connections to get me an on-set tour of the studio lots associated with Gemini Films. I was greeted and led by the third assistant director (or AD as they’re commonly referred to).

“Hi, I’m Tiffany, nice to meet you,” she said, with a rather forced smile and handshake.

She carried a clipboard in her other arm, as well as a hand-held radio clipped to the pocket of her jeans, and I saw that she also had an earpiece nestled in her right ear. I could tell she was about her business and probably didn’t have time to be overly nice or talk too much.

I got a sneak peek of their most current production under the production title *"*Cold Silence", which required me to sign an NDA beforehand, of course. That wasn't actually their final name for the movie, but it's a common thing for them to do when shooting a film when either they haven't decided on a name yet or to keep the nature of the project a secret. It sort of took me back to my theater tech days with all the set designs and props lying around, except these were much more detailed and intricate thanks to their higher budget than what my high school had at the time. Here, there was limitless potential. Tiffany also introduced me to the other ADs, PAs, boom operators, cameramen, make-up artists, and then last but certainly not least, the director.

“Jeffrey?” Tiffany called to the man sitting in the director’s chair. The man turned to face her and then me. “This is Christian Watkins. He’s the man we’re giving a behind-the-scenes scoop for his… blog?” She looked to me for confirmation, to which I nodded. “Yeah, for his blog.”

The man in the big chair stood up with a cool smile and classy charm and extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, nice to meet you,” the man spoke in a tenor pitch. “Jeffrey Bachmann,” he introduced himself.

I didn’t take too much time last night trying to read up on his bio, but from what I could tell at first glance I knew that he was about in his mid to late fifties, as his hair was greying and skin was starting to wrinkle, and I could see that he had a surprisingly calm and laid-back demeanor. Surprising to me, at least. I always thought directing was a high-paced, chaotic mess that never ceased to present a myriad of complications onset that’d make any man want to pull their hair out. But Jeffrey seemed calm, collected, and very personable.

“Hi, thank you for having me,” I replied. “Seriously, this is like a really cool opportunity for me and my blog.”

“Hey man, it’s my pleasure,” Jeffrey said. “I heard you got a big following behind your name. Props to you. I respect the work ethic, especially giving your readers what they really want to see, ya know?”

I shrugged modestly. “Well thank you, but this time was mostly in my own interest to seek out this idea for my current blog,” I said.

“Ah, an interest in GF, huh?” Jeffrey replied. “Well, what would you like to know? We’ve got nothing but time today. In fact, we’re just getting ready to shoot the mangle scene for today and then we’ll wrap it up before we review the dailies.”

“Mangle scene?”

“Oh yeah, if you’ve got a weak stomach or aren’t into gore you don’t have to watch.”

At least he gave me discretion. “Hmm, I think I’ll tough this one out,” I said. “For the blog.”

Jeffrey gave me a sincere but slightly unsettling grin. “That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

He was a nice guy so far, but you know how you just meet certain people that for whatever reason, out of their control, their aura seems off? Maybe it was my preconceived notion and warranted cynicism I had of people working in Hollywood. Just a bunch of sharks in a pool with hungry eyes for desperate young talents eager to take a dive in the spotlight. But as I’d imagine with any field, there had to be a decent share of lambs among the many wolves.

Suddenly, one of the makeup artists scampered over to us, their attention directly at Jeffrey.

“Hey,” they said to him with a noticeably fake inflection.

“Hey, what's up?” Jeffrey returned.

“Savannah? She’s losing it back there. Said she wants to talk to you and only you.”

Jeffrey nodded. “Don’t worry, I got it,” he said, as he patted his hand on the MUAs shoulder. He then gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Christian, duty calls, but hey, Tiffany?” he looked to the stern AD. “Make sure he gets a front-row view for the martini shot.”

“Yes sir,” Tiffany replied.

Jeffrey and the MUA stepped off to handle whatever business needed handling regarding one of the actresses backstage in the dressing room.

“Martini shot?” I asked.

“Last shot for the day,” Tiffany explained. “For me, that’s a term I like to take literally.”

She seemed so serious all this time that I found the joke almost funny.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was now quiet on the set. Shooting was about to start shortly. At this point in the movie, the main character has a stand-off that turns into a big fight scene with the main bad guy at a warehouse factory building. At first, there’s a gunfight, then eventually they both run out of ammo and it comes down to a fistfight before finally having a standstill on top of a rail just over a giant industrial shredder.

Right now, the actor playing the bad guy, Will, is hanging on for his life over the rail above the shredder, while Thomas, the main good guy, is standing over him victoriously. My question was, is the shredder real? ‘Cause it sure as hell looks like it. It wasn’t turned on yet, but just from a glance it seemed legit enough that if I dropped something as sturdy as a microwave in there, it’d come out jelly on the other end.

For the blog, I told myself. For the blog…

Suddenly, my suspicions were confirmed once Jeffrey called to have the shredder turned on. The machine roared to life, the inverting sharp metal gears rotating past each other being a black hole eating everything that passes through it with no escape. Holy shit. It was actually fucking real.

Jeffrey gave the nod to the 1st AD, and the AD returned the same.

“Action!” the AD called.

Based on what Jeffrey showed me from the script, Thomas is supposed to stomp on Will’s hand that’s gripping onto the edge of the rail, causing him to fall to his death into the shredder. The camera was now rolling, yet, I didn’t see Thomas do the deed. Was he pausing for dramatic effect? Was he acting for the camera? I wasn’t quite sure why he was hesitating.

I peaked over to notice that Jeffrey, the once calm and collected man I met backstage earlier, was now beginning to seem noticeably impatient and about to snap at any moment. There was now that dark edge I noticed about him from before but couldn’t quite put a finger on that I could see now coming to light.

Hesitation filled Thomas’ veins, about to raise his foot, then not, dragging on the scene longer than intended. From this distance, I tried to see Will’s own expression, and I regret ever doing so. Surely he was acting, but I’ll be damned, it was too good. Whatever fear he portrayed transmuted itself into me now. It was the kind of fear that I didn’t think could be replicated on command. Jeffrey stood up from his seat, but just before he could say anything or call ‘cut’, Thomas stomped his foot down on Will’s hand, and we all watched as his fingers slip from the railing. Will sent out a bloodcurdling scream as he plummeted to his ‘death’. What followed will haunt me forever.

Do you know what it sounds like to have a person’s body mangled to death? Have you bitten into the bone of any sort of meat? Heard and felt the crunch? Or maybe even the crunch of celery? I myself have never broken a single bone in my body, but imagining what it might sound like other than what I’d heard in movies or video games all seemed elementary now. At first, I had to look away, but what forced me out of my seat to leave was Will’s horrifying screams. He’d fallen feet first into the shredder, so his lower body had to suffer first before reaching his upper body and finally silencing him at the head.

I ran to find the nearest trashcan and hurled. I guess I really didn’t have the stomach for gore, at least, not to this degree. Will’s screams kept looping in my head. It was a new primal sound that evoked a dread within me that I wish I never discovered. The sound of torment. One thing was for sure, Will was one fucking hell of an actor - if this was acting. But the shredder…

It seemed so real. And there was no greenscreen besides the ones to be used for the background later in post-production. I saw him fall right into the damn thing. With my own eyes. In living color. There were no edits, no crazy tricks, no lighting effects. There couldn’t be. It just wasn’t possible.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was sitting down trying to recuperate, as everyone else around me was wrapping up set for the day. Tiffany came over and handed me a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it.

“You feelin’ better?” she asked.

“Hmm,” I answered with a scoff, raising both my eyebrows and taking a sip from the bottle.

“I’m surprised you stuck around if you had such a weak stomach. I mean, he at least warned you.”

“I usually don’t. But that?” I shook my head. “How do you guys do it? It looked so real.”

“I’m just pulling your leg. I almost vomited too my first time. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

If it was a shame to flinch at something so vile, I don’t wanna know what goes on in Jeffrey’s mind to even come up with such a scene. Speaking of which, I still didn’t get a one-on-one interview with him as I’d hoped. All I had was the end result of his ‘movie magic’, but not how he did it. At this point, I'm not sure I really wanna know.

I went to go get my belongings, which were left in one of the dressing rooms, and was stopped by the sound sniffling from the one a couple doors ahead of mine. I looked on the door to read whose room it belonged to. It read: SAVANNAH YOUNG. She was one of the lead actresses in the movie, or rather I should say the only actress in the whole film. With the makeup artist and Jeffrey thing that happened earlier, it was evident to me that something sour had gone on behind the scenes I didn’t know about.

The door was cracked open and I couldn’t see her face entirely from my view, but I knew she was sobbing. She looked to be sitting in front of her mirror. I was about to just ignore it and go on about my business.

I lightly knocked on the door. “You okay in there?” I asked.

She stopped and I could hear her get up and approach the door. She pulled it back just enough to where I could see her whole face. She was beautiful, just like Jamie, even if she had been crying.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Savannah said. “Thank you.”

There was a brief awkward moment of silence between us. Clearly, she wasn’t fine, but I didn’t wish to pry any further than that.

“Are you one of the new PAs?” she asked. I arched a brow. “Production assistant?” she clarified.

“Oh, no, I’m just a visitor,” I assured. “Writing for my blog. I was supposed to be writing about behind-the-scenes things and how it all works around here, but I bitched out from the ‘mangling scene’.”

Savannah gave a short nod. “I see,” she said. “Well… I don’t blame you.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the way she said it or just from the state that I was in, but her words gave me chills.

“I should get going,” I told her. “Nice meeting you.”

“Likewise,” she replied, and then shut the door.

I got my stuff from the dressing room and got ready to head out. I wonder what could’ve made Savannah so down to where the director had to get involved and set her straight. Jeffrey seemed pleasant to work with at first glance, but who knows, maybe he had a mean streak to him after all, especially the way he looked during the shooting of the scene. God, I just wanted to forget about it. I can’t unhear the sounds. The bones crunching, the blood splattering, and the screaming. The fucking screaming…

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As I was leaving the studio lot, I noticed the cleaning crew of two men dump a large amount of black bags in the dumpster. From the way they swung the bags over into the bin, the shit didn’t seem light. The bags were in several different sizes, some small, some big, some disproportionate. I stood there and watched as the two men finished disposing of the junk and walked away to go about their other duties.

Regular, common sense me would’ve just picked up the phone, called Jamie to let her know I’m ready to get picked up, and go about my day. But the nosy blogger me kept itching…

I made sure the coast was clear and made my way over to the bin. I can’t believe I was actually dumpster diving, and for what? What did I really expect to find? In my head, I knew the answer, but was avoiding it, either out of how ridiculous it may sound or, God forbid, I was right.

The trash wasn’t stacked high enough from the bottom for me to simply reach, so I had to literally get in there myself. I climbed over on the other end, raised the lid, and jumped down on the piles of plastic bags, holding the lid up with my arm and my breath so I didn’t get a huge whiff of the smell. Though, if I did need to puke again, I supposed this would be the place to do it.

I immediately noticed the bags the men threw away, but in order for me to check what was inside, I’d have to crouch down and let the lid close on me. Fine. That’s what the flashlight on my phone was for. Surrounded in darkness and garbage now, I turned the flash on, illuminating the four dirty walls around me and I pulled back one of the bags. I felt around to try and see what sort of contents might be inside. Mush. It felt all mushy with chunks of solid and a little bit of liquid.

This was stupid, I thought. I realized how stupid I probably looked right then and there, sitting in a bin full of filth looking for clues like some sort of private detective. My followers have no idea how far I’d go, but this was ridiculous. Oh well, I’m too deep in it now, no pun intended.

I held my phone in my mouth as I used my hands to rip open the plastic. My heart began pounding as I slowly pried the bag open. Once I got a peek inside, shame and embarrassment came over me.

Food.

I should’ve just called Jamie to come get me. Had I really become that desperate? I threw the bag over and out of my way. Then I noticed the bag underneath had trickles of fluid. Curious, I shined the light down on it. They were red trickles. Considering how I’d just overreacted only to find a bag full of thrown out lunch, I wasn’t about to get all up in arms about finding red drops behind a Hollywood studio lot. I didn’t know the full recipe for fake blood, but if I recall correctly, Alfred Hitchcock used chocolate when they filmed the shower scene from Psycho.

I tried to follow the small trail and see if it led to another bag. I slowly pointed the light further up and it led me to the bag just behind the one I tossed to the side. Looks like it had a small bust that caused it to leak. When I pulled this one over, a very noticeable smell filled my nostrils and erased any other scent of the trash that surrounded me. It was a metallic, rusty sort of odor, like copper from a penny. However, that smell also belonged to something else…

I ripped open the bag, and with the shine of my light beaming down, I was welcomed to a bright crimson sight of mashed blood and guts. It had to be fake, I thought. It had to… but the way I recoiled from the putrid metallic fresh scent of carnage, my primal instincts told me that wasn’t the case. I innately knew that it was real. I was staring at Will’s mangled body.

Frozen from fear, I sat there for who-knows-how-long. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I’d call the cops first, of course, but they would need evidence, and even then they’d probably dismiss me after I told them I dove into the dumpster of a movie set where fake blood is a common prop. I’d tell Jamie the same, but she’d look at me crazy, too.

I unlocked my phone and started snapping pictures. As much as I could. I even opened some other bags and did the same. I tried to snap every bit of remains that was left of Will and saved them into my phone. It felt like a sick test to see how long I could hold my breath so I wouldn’t gag, and I think I broke a new record that day.

I snapped probably about 47 pictures on my phone before I finally shot up and threw open the bin. The wave of fresh air hit me like a truck, and enjoyed it for only a brief second before turning to see Jeffrey, Tiffany, and the other AD standing by his side. My soul left my body right then and there.

“Christian?” Jeffrey said, sounding concerned.

Fucking say something, I told myself. I did my best not to stutter and look stupid.

“Hey, Jeff,” I said, raising the inflection of my voice, probably sounding dumb.

“Going for a swim there?” Jeffrey joked.

I fake laughed, then put on my best acting skills. “I cannot for the life of me find my ring.”

“Your ring?”

“Yeah, my mom’s ring?”

Then, with the slick subtle motion, I hid my hands to where they couldn’t see them behind the walls of the bin, and with careful coordination used my fingers on my right hand to pull the ring I already had on and flicked it down onto the trash below. I shuffled my feet over the bags I stood on to make noise so they wouldn’t hear the ring drop. Please God, don’t let the ring hit the hard bottom floor or one of the rusty walls, I thought. To my relief, it didn’t.

“Oh man, I’m sorry, Christian, I haven’t seen it,” Jeffrey said, as he looked at the other two as they also shook their heads. “But we can definitely look around again and let you know if we find anything.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said, trying not to make my voice tremble with anxiety.

“Now, c’mon, let’s get you outta there,” Jeffrey said, waving his hand over.

I nodded and shot a quick timid smile. I climbed out of the bin and faced the three before me, wiping myself down.

“Hands a little messy there,” Jeffrey said.

Anxiety raced through me again, but adrenaline had my back to make sure I didn’t fuck up by saying anything dumb.

“Oh, the fake blood?” I chortled. “Yeah, you guys lots of that shit in there. Smells like a chocolate factory.”

Jeffrey fell for it, and laughed. Good. But he could just as easily be playing me right now.

“Given how you ran off earlier back there I’m surprised you can stand to look at it, better yet, touch it,” he remarked.

“I’m sorry about that,” I stammered but stayed on track. “It’s just… I now see for myself, no one does it like GF.”

“Haha, you don’t have to flatter me to get back my respect. Don’t sweat it. I totally understand.”

Is that so? I thought.

“You could use that martini shot right about now, huh?” Tiffany joked.

Definitely not with her any time soon. Or any of them, for that matter.

“Well we’re just heading out for the day, you got a ride?” said Jeffrey.

“Yeah, I should probably call Jamie now and let her know I’m done,” I replied.

“It’s no problem, man, I can give you a lift. I can drop you off wherever you need me to.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Seriously, I insist-”

“Jamie and I got a spa appointment to catch in a bit. Otherwise I appreciate the offer.”

Jeffrey had a brief look in his eyes, a glint of what I could only compare to a wolf’s gaze hiding behind that sheep’s clothing he carried himself around as, and then smiled and nodded.

“Okay, Christian,” he said. “Once again, nice to meet you and I hoped you enjoyed the tour, and hopefully make some good content for your blog.”

“Absolutely,” I said. “Thank you so much again. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s nothing, Chris,” Jeffrey said, throwing me off a bit. “Can I call you, Chris?’

I shrugged. “Sure. I mean, I called you Jeff by accident,” I said.

“It’s fine. Chris and Jeff it is.”

I needed to get away from here. Now and as fast as possible. But I still needed to do one more thing.

“Any chance I can wash these off inside?” I said, raising my bloodied hands.

“Oh of course,” Jeff said.

“I can lead him back,” Tiffany said, ready to go with, but Jeffrey stopped her.

“Ah, he knows his way in, right?” Jeff looked to me for reassurance.

“Yeah,” I answered confidently.

“Good, well hopefully I’ll see you around, Chris, and you enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Thank you, Jeff. And you all do the same.”

As I walked past them and towards the studio lot, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was being set up. Why hadn’t he let Tiffany escort me back inside? I’d think that would be customary for them to do for visitors entering and exiting the building. But I felt that they were watching me from behind, and with every step, I grew more and more anxious.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’d made it inside and the lot was now nearly empty and quieter. I didn’t see a single person in sight, and only a few lights remained on, making it mostly dark. I hurried the fuck up and did what I came to do, as I didn’t wanna be here any longer and didn’t feel safe.

Down the hall where the dressing rooms were, I rushed over to Savannah’s door, and saw that it was closed. I tried opening it only to see it was locked. Looking down, there was no light shining through the cracks either, meaning there was no one inside. She wasn’t there. Shit.

I washed my hands in the bathroom, scrubbing the dried blood off as thoroughly as possible, getting under nails and all, cringing at the thought of it being Will’s. Suddenly, I heard a noise from outside the hall leading to the bathroom. Petrified, my heart sank into my chest, and I froze. I shut the water off, and carefully approached the door. I listened for any other sounds as I placed my ear closer. After a few moments, I heard the noise again, but then realized that it seemed to be coming from one of the dressing rooms just outside in the hall.

Since I carry a notebook around most of the time for jotting down notes, I certainly always carry a pen. What most people don’t know is that I carry a military tactical pen for a variety of uses, and in times like these, it can be used as a subtle but effective weapon. I switched the tip from an ink ball to a small slick blade.

I opened the bathroom door and crept through the hall over to the dressing room door that made the noise, holding the pen underneath the breast pocket of my sweater. On the outside of the door, it read, “WILL BANKS.”

Confused, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Common sense me once again kept barking in my brain telling me to GTFO, but I had to be sure. I gave three shy knocks and waited. There was definitely someone in there because whatever noise I thought I heard from behind came to an utter halt. I could hear faint whispers of someone’s voice, and then another. There was more than one. My hand trembled as it tightly gripped the pen underneath with sweat as I heard whoever it was on the other end of the door approach.

It swung open, and there stood Will Banks, the man whose blood was just on my hands moments ago, alive and well, in the flesh. It couldn’t be, I thought to myself.

“Can I help you?” he said.

I just stood there, baffled, without answering. Behind him, I saw Savannah, who instantly recognized me and came over.

“Hi,” she said. “I thought everyone left.” She looked to Will. “He was visiting the set today for his vlog, or I’m sorry, blog.”

Will nodded, understanding now. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t get to meet you. Will Banks,” he said, pointing at his name on the door. “As you can see.” Savannah chuckled, and Will extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, or Chris,” I said, releasing the pen from inside my sweater and reaching my own hand out to take his. "Whichever you please."

He had a firm shake, and it felt uncanny considering what I’d just witnessed. I was touching him, feeling his skin and bone underneath, the warmth of his body temperature through the flesh. He was real. He was alive and breathing. That couldn’t be faked. That couldn’t be a visual effect. This was real. After we let go, suddenly my hand went cold. Everything about this seemed off and downright strange.

“Did you stick around for the shoot?” Will asked.

“I did, as a matter of fact.”

“Well, what’d you think?”

I wanted to say so many things right then and there, he had no idea.

“Um... y’all are some damn good actors,” I said.

Will laughed a bit, accepting my sham form of flattery, but Savannah, not so much. She gave one of those forced gestures as to not make it feel awkward, though, I noticed it right away.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

“I would give you some artistic bullshit answer like ‘study your craft’ or ‘years of training,' things like that, but honestly… it just kinda clicks, ya know?”

I fake chuckled. “No, I don’t. It looked kinda real from my end. Too real, I might add. Care to go into detail how you guys pulled it off?”

“Well, uh-”

Savannah interrupted. “Wait, you know what Jeffrey would say,” she whispered to him.

“I know, but it’s for his blog,” Will argued.

“But still.”

“I mean, Jeffrey’s not here, right?” I chimed in.

They both looked at me, then at each other. There seemed to be some sort of nonverbal understanding between them, and Will looked back at me.

“All right, for the sake of your blog, I’ll give you what I can to the best of my wording, that sound good?” Will proposed.

I took the pen back out from inside, switching it to the ink ball with a short click, and whipped out my small notebook. “Hit me,” I said.

“Get ready for this one. Basically, we’ve been using a new thing in the biz lately sort of like mocap but it’s not exactly. It’s also kinda like hologram sort of tech?”

“Really?” I said, eyes widened with interest as I wrote words down.

“Yep. That’s how we did it. What you saw, was as real as the hologram thingamajig allowed you to.”

“Hmm.”

“The shredder, too.”

“What?”

“The shredder. That was a hologram also.”

“Really? Okay…”

I finished writing on my notepad then turned it so that Will could read it.

BITE ME, I wrote with a big circle around it.

He laughed. Savannah did, too, but, again, in a strange nervous and restrained demeanor.

“That’s a nice story,” I said. “So if you’re ready to quit bullshitting with me, and tell the truth, I’m ready,” I spoke in a playful yet no-nonsense tone. “How’d you do it?”

“You’re good, man,” Will said with a smile, pointing his finger at me. “Like a true journalist.”

Any other day I’d be pleased to hear that, but I was serious. I needed to know, so much that I’d forgotten how long I’d actually been here. I told myself I was gonna leave as soon as I could, but now, for some reason after talking with Will and seeing how personable and genuine he came off, he put me a bit at ease. Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion. But then the screams echoed in my head again, and the smell...

“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?” I said.

“Look, I wish I could, honestly, but if I did, Jeffrey may not be too happy with either of us,” Will responded sincerely. That much was true, I could tell.

“All right, I think I tortured you enough,” I said, then immediately regretted my choice of words.

“No worries, man. Nice meetin’ ya. Good luck with the blog.”

“Thanks.”

I looked at Savannah one last time, and she looked back with a serious and almost scary gaze as though she needed to tell me something very bad. That’s who I came back for anyways. But that opportunity was a lost cause now, as I left with nothing and still no understanding of how Gemini Films did their visual effects? And I lost my mother’s ring. Fuck, I didn’t have time to go get it right now. I didn’t wanna risk being seen again. Hopefully, Jeffrey keeps his word and they somehow manage to give it back. That being said, I'd be fine with not having to see him ever again.

Whose blood was that? Whose body was that in the dumpster? Was it real? Was it actually just that well made to where the average person could be fooled into thinking it was actual flesh? Who’d go through the trouble of all that?

The screams of losing your life inch by inch, the sounds that would haunt me forever. And the smell of what was inside that bag. That instinctual gut feeling… how was it not real?

#writing #story #horror #nosleep #horror stories

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