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cxhleel108 · 11 months

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S7 Thots for this week: Oh god…

• I will in fact not be giving “us” a chance Vicky I’m so sorry.

• “There’s a him-shaped space in my bed and there’s a him-shaped space in my heart”…GIRRRLLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I already made a post about this quote alone but omg thinking about it again has got me crying. Someone please come get this bitch.

• I know I said my MC was gon keep it classy with Willow but both her AND I have had enough of Willow flapping her gums so best believe I chose to read her ass for filth when they let us.

• Gee I wonder what it is…

• *Gasp* REALLY??? YOU DONT SAY🫨🫨🫨

• Fusebox…CAN BITCHES JUST BE BISEXUAL TO BE BISEXUAL LIKE WTF??? They always pull this dumb shit like either you only want the boys or you only want the girls it’s never TRULY an option to choose both. Most of the time if I’m making my MCs bi it’s just for character building purposes so when I’m being forced to hear Bonnie declare her love for me 20 times each volume when I don’t want her you’d see why I’d be irritated.

• So apparently, after gathering info from other peoples posts, we coulda been having this convo with our original love interest and we coulda snuck out to the daybeds and did the nasty with them pulling our hair and shit if we chose the “Travis/Evan/OG LI” option. The way this makes no sense my god. This goes back to the point I just made like y’all don’t know what the fuck y’all doinnnnnnn!

• Omg she’s so embarrassing I can’t do this anymore😭😭😭

• While I’m mad I didn’t sneak down there with Bryson, seeing her lil pussy ass get absolutely nothing from him never fails to make me laugh.

• Uma getting all the girls to leave by pretending to gush about Alex…she ate that.

• I love Daphne (Sorry Raf romancers).

• Time to talk about outfits!🤩

• Fusebox let the stars go like good lord😭

• Ignoring that aspect, this is cute.

• Now THIS is what I want to see more of! Yes!

• Ok Willow being an embarrassing and obsessive ass bitch was funny at first but now it’s just annoying. Does she have any other hobby besides keeping MC’s nuts in her mouth?

• Now, onto this lame ass movie night.

• First of all, I guess I yet again need to clarify that I want nothing to do with Bonnie or her Ellen Degeneres haircut. Second of all, even if my character chose to give her the time of day…Vicky why the hell do you give a fuck??? You weren’t even here when these clips happened and once again I DID NOT CHOOSE YOU!

• Evan don't stick up for me like that baby I'm liable to put this thang on you😩

• In a shocking twist that nobody expected, Willow started talking shit and immediately shut up because her tea got clocked. I honestly gotta applaud her tenacity.

• Bryson’s confession over us uggghhh so cute😍

• Travis saying that Uma was hotter than Bonnie unprovoked was so rude😭😭😭 At the same time tho…did he lie?😶

• Alex is such a hypocrite. He knew damn well he was bout to fawk Estelle on that goddamn terrace before she left.

• Omg Uma said the casa girls needa make sure that they get to the villa😱😱😱 They grasping for straws tryna make up drama like obviously she’s gonna prioritize getting to the villa that’s literally the whole point.

• #Raphne lives on yesssss!

• Evan asking us on a date…WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO ME?????😫😫😫😫😫

• Outfit time again!🤩

• Ok I love love looooove all these options. The ONLY problem I have is with the choker necklace on the green dress like that needs to go. Other than that these are sooooooo cute.

• *Sigh* Why is Evan literally perfect lol🙃

• It’s not even the fact that he’s fine as hell and his personality is chef’s kiss but the way he’s not suffocating us with the fact that he likes us (Some other people should take notes😕). Lemme not speak too soon tho cuz they still have time to ruin him💔

• I am not kidding, when I replay this season I am grafting on him so hard with NO FUCKING HESITATION.

• I was so tempted to flirt with him just to piss off Vicky and Bonnie cuz why are y’all staring??? GET OUT OF MY BUSINESS!

• FINALLY! FUCKING FINALLY!

• I legit thought they were going to have us go through this entire volume without getting alone time with our OG LI and I was finna be so pissed.

• Not gonna lie tho…having sex in the middle of the living room where anyone could just walk in is kinda insane😭

• Where was I at Willow? Oh, I was just giving “your man” the time of his life😁

• Calling it now we’re not actually gonna get to sleep with who we want.

• Girl where tf did they get a whole curated bouquet of flowers?

(I’m not gonna lie guys I fell asleep before finishing this post cuz I was busy yesterday so I prolly forgot some things but yeah this volume was…ok)

#im begging for them to set us free next week #i want no more bonnie chats for the rest of this season #litg #love island the game #litg s7 #litg season 7 #litg stick or twist #litg mc #litg willow #litg bonnie #litg vicky #litg evan #litg bryson #litg uma #litg daphne #litg alex #litg travis

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penname-artist · 6 months

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My first vent was way too rambly, so I'll spare you guys a lot of extra long stories:

You might have noticed, in my Ao3: I'm cutting back on my amount of writing, almost full-stop right now.

It's not because I want to. It's because I physically cannot write right now. My hands will not the words make the stories happen.

Why?

People.

It's always fuckin people, coming in, ruining all the good things in the world, y'know?

No but seriously...it's people, in the sense that I've lost a lot of friends recently, and gained many more people on my List of Blocked, Blurry Faces.

Three more in the last six months, actually. Some pretty big ones too. People I really cared about. People I really wanted to believe cared about me, too. But actions and events in the past have made it clear that is no longer the case. There is nothing more for me now, in those empty places.

And the grief of losing people over and over again, over such stupidly small things, over such basic needs...it's overwhelming. The amount of grief I already spent the last two-ish years processing, finally at a point where I can live normally again, just for more shit to hit the fan the moment I've cleaned the living room carpet.

It's really starting to take its toll. It's getting harder and harder to want to write, to want to be around and present and a part of the show. Even just a conversation. When I know that it will keep ending in closing curtains. I will keep having bridges to burn down, whether or not I want to.

I'm not entirely done from it all. Not yet, anyways. There's more I still want to do.

But...I know it's getting nearer to me. The end of this season, my near-decade clinging to this fandom like a ship in the storm, sailing from one disaster to the next.

The smoke from all these fallen bridges is making it hard to breathe from the top of the hill.

There's some good news though, like a little light at the end of a long tunnel. There are new opportunities beginning to emerge, areas that feel scary and new, but also tantalizing, exciting. My optimism is compromised and quiet, but it does compel me, this new thing.

But, until I can get out of the cautious stage, I am suffering in the ways of my passions and hobbies. Writing is very hard. Art is very strenuous, too. I have so many things I can't do right now because they're just not enough of a priority at this point in time.

So in all this, really I'm only asking you the reader for your patience, which thus far I've been so thankful to have. I'm in a state of metamorphosis right now, shedding one form and waiting for the other, and I don't know how long this new process will take me. But it is going, for it is inevitable.

One day, I won't post Planes things very much anymore. One day they'll be very few and far between. But right now, I'm riding the wave, trying to wait out the growing pains, and giving myself the time I need to just...be. And to stop being what I should be, and start being what I want to be.

Which is a cool yet approachable goth-hippie that FINALLY lands a goddamn date

This has been my 1 AM ramble. Thank you for coming to my Pen Talk.

#vent #personal post

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inamanicpixiedream · 9 months

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2023

I've answered these questions on various platforms for over ten years now, I think? That's wild. There's better questions out there but tradition is tradition.

1. What did you do this year that you’d never done before?

Put on a mother-fucking Fringe show. Bought a Lego advent calendar. Got divorced lol.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions?

I don't really make them any more, but I feel like I set out what I wanted to do.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yeah, a few of my good friends from work.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What cities/states/countries did you visit?

My partner finally moved here from Brisbane, but I did a couple of final trips there and we went back for a wedding. I did a whirlwind trip to Melbourne and while it was fun I found out I am not the kind of person who thrives on flying somewhere for less than 24 hours.

6. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year?

Money. God, I hate this is the answer, but my rent got super jacked up and my partner hasn't found a job here yet and everything is find but it's tight as fuck and I hate working so goddamn hard and feeling like I have nothing to show for it.

7. What date(s) from this year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

February my show was performed. April my partner moved here. Two of the biggest days of my life honestly.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

The show was huge. I wrote and performed something I had written, with my own financial backing and organisation and steam, and it's something I have always wanted to do. And I just did it. I then started making more and more moves to make this my life, like asking to go part-time at work and starting my podcast again and putting together a Patreon.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I actually can't think of anything which is kind of wild. After leaving my husband last year I really grabbed a hold of my agency in my life. It's been pretty incredible.

10. What other hardships did you face?

I had a lot to grieve and process about the separation and I am very thankful to my therapist for all the work she did there.

My current relationship is wonderful but being two adults coming together is going to have more baggage and things to work through. It's so absolutely worth it.

11. Did you suffer illness or injury?

In July I was diagnosed with polycystic-ovary syndrome, which is yet another nail in the coffin of my ever being able to have children.

Along with that came a further investigation into my blood sugar and I was told I had pre-diabetes. This scared the shit out of me, cause I was really fucking close. I was also terrified about doing the work to try and reverse it, because I didn't want to get back into disordered eating territory. But I had incredible help from a dietician and I read really tempered, reasonable information, and I managed to make small, sustainable changes and turn that entire shit around. Within six months my levels were completely back to normal and all my other negative health markers were reversed. Honestly, this was another huge achievement.

12. What was the best thing you bought?

I just bought a new guitar that has become a huge joy in my life. I also got into beading when I went to see the Eras tour movie to make bracelets and I've kept it up and I absolutely love it as a hobby. Otherwise, I didn't really make a lot of big purchases. Contributing financially to helping my boyfriend move was pretty great to get him here.

13. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

I am often resisting the urge to come on here and write a very gushy post about my boyfriend, but god he is great. I wrote last year that I highly recommend falling in love in your thirties. My mum commented at Christmas that it's clear how happy he makes me, but it's beyond happy - he makes me calm. Even when things are hard and messy he is such a solid presence in my life, and he is so, so bloody nice to me, and I keep waiting for it to stop feeling like a crush and exciting every time I see him but it's been almost two years and that just has never gone away. He is so ridiculously supportive of me and has worked so hard on himself and I'm so proud of him.

14. Whose behaviour made you appalled?

No names, but a few people at work made me feel like I was banging my head against the wall.

Also, fuck everyone who has been supporting Israel's attack on Palestine.

15. Where did most of your money go?

Rent and household expenses is the very boring but realistic answer.

16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My show. My boyfriend finally moving here. Seeing Barbie.

17. What song will always remind you of this year?

I was so terrible at listening to new music this year. The songs that were written for my show, I guess. I listened to Peach Prc and Tessa Violet a lot, but I don't know if those songs will remind me of the year. Maybe Kitchen Song.

18. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder? Happier, happier, happier!

ii. Thinner or fatter? No comment!

iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer. But I have complete control of my finances and can still cover everything and then some. Have to remind myself I'll be okay.

19. What do you wish you’d done more of? Reading! This is something I have to work on.

20. What do you wish you’d done less of? Last year I said sleeping, which is very funny to me. Mindless scrolling is the answer this year for sure.

21. How did you spend Christmas? My extended family did out potluck on the Saturday before which was lovely, and my boyfriend was nervous cause he hadn't met half of them before, and he'd never been to a big Christmas before, but it was really great. My granny is pretty far gone with her Alzheimer's though which was a cloud that hung over everything

My boyfriend's mum then flew down on Christmas Eve, and we had lunch on the day with just us and our mums, cause we're both only children of single parents, and I was a bit concerned it'd be awkward, but it wasn't, it was really nice. We cooked an amazing meal together and both our mums bought the dogs presents. and we watched Fantasia and it was great.

22. Did you fall in love this year?

I did not know it was possible to be in love the way we are. I sold myself short for years. It feels like a waste of time, but god, I cannot believe how lucky I am to have it now.

This is what I wrote last year, at the end of a much more extended answer, since 2022 was pretty big for us. But this is still absolutely true, and I can't get over it still.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t think so.

24. What was your favorite show? God, I didn't watch much that was new, but we rewatched 30 Rock because my boyfriend had never seen it and that was great.

25. What was the best book you read? The Bookbinder of Jericho by Pip Williams. Little Weirds by Jenny Slate. What You Are Looking for is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery of the year? I went to see Stop Making Sense and it got me very into The Talking Heads. Loved finding corook's music as well.

27. What was your favorite film?

Films that came out this year - Barbie, Oppenheimer, Across the Spiderverse,

Films I watched for the first time - Amadeus, Stop Making Sense, Best In Show, The Great Escape, Glass Onion.

I also went to a cinema event where we marathoned all five Twilight movies in a row, and that ruled.

28. What was your favorite meal?

We've been doing a roast chicken every Sunday together which has been great.

It's what we did on Christmas too and I made a kickass pavlova. Think that's definitely been the best meal of the year.

29. What did you want and get?

For my partner to move here.

30. What did you want and not get?

To win the fucking lottery.

31. What did you do on your birthday and how old did you turn?

I turned 35. I had a work event that night so did nothing special. That was fine.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Said it before, but having more financial stability and freedom sure would be nice.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of the year?

Comfortable. Embracing my body. Showing my tattoos. As sustainable as possible.

Wrote this last year. Stand by it.

34. What kept you sane?

My dogs. My friends. My boyfriend. Writing. Podcasts. Taylor Swift's music. Going to the movies.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most?

Caroline Klidonas is an actor I follow on TikTok whose work I just adore. I also love Pip Williams' writing so much, especially after seeing the play of A Dictionary of Lost Words.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The genocide in Gaza.

37. Who did you miss? Sometimes I miss the family I lost in the divorce.

But mostly not.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I honestly don't feel like I've met many new people? Which is weird.

39. What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?

Go after what you want.

40. What is a quote or song lyric that sums up your year?

On the way home I wrote a poem You say, "What a mind" This happens all the time

'Cause they said the end is coming Everyone's up to something I find myself running home to your sweet nothings Outside, they're push and shoving You're in the kitchen humming All that you ever wanted from me was nothing

- Sweet Nothing, Taylor Swift

We live in hope--that life will get better, and more importantly that it will go on, that love will survive even though we will not. As Emily Dickinson put it, hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. And we are here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here. Sing it with me, wherever you are. Think of those across the broad and roaring seas, and sing with me. You won’t be more offtune than I am. We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here. We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here.

- The Anthropocene Reviewed, John Green

#year in review

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pancakes-talks · 3 months

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I can't believe I'm still getting likes/reblogs on my old Nico posts. Like I'm shocked people are still finding them since it's been so long. I'm shocked that anyone saw them when I first posted them I thought the pjo fandom was dead. And like it makes me happy that other people like the same character I do and they like the stuff I made. But it also makes me sad. Cause I just haven't had the energy to be as crazy into the series as I used to be. I'm trying to rekindle that fire but it's hard sitting myself down to read and making stuff inspired by what I read. I want to enjoy things again. I want to be insane about something. So invested, so enthralled, I end up spending hours writing stupid stories and drawing goofy shit to make myself giggle.

I want to sit down and take in everything. Feeling completely engrossed in a story watching it unravel. How it's carefully sewn plots together. Just experiencing how more alive characters feel the further you get into the story. I want to furiously type out my developing theory's of where the story is going and tying those threads together as they're revealed. Just going completely feral when I'm proven right or wrong. Caring deeply for the characters ambitions and rooting for them.

Feeling your heart drop to your stomach as you see the ledge they're about to leap off of before they do. knowing there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Watching them fall. Watching them struggle to get back up on their feet and forging on anyway.

Cheering for them as they finally make their way back home safe. But having that bittersweet feeling wash over you as you realize there's no adventure left for you to follow.

Like, Goddamn! I don't want to watch a 20 minute YouTube video giving me a chopped up synopsis of a book for 1/4th of it and then give me a surface level analysis they pulled from Wikipedia nearly word for word for the last quarter. That's like licking the condensation off the outside of a soda bottle. I want the whole deal. I don't want to have to settle for less because I'm exhausted and in pain from work. It's kinda bullshit I can hardly enjoy my hobbies, which consist of mostly sitting down! That's crazy. Don't get me started on AI bullshit. Like no bud I don't want a computer to steal images and then muddle them together to make "art". The process of creating something is the whole point of CREATING SOMETHING. Typing words and instantly getting a garbled emotionless picture is not going to give me the same joy as drawing a horrific Freddy Fazbear as an old timey Chuck e cheese animatronic inspired by meat canon but in my own glossy style. Spending hours detailing his shiny rubbery skin and jagged tooth that's somehow rotting even though it should be plastic right??? Setting his eyes and eyelids further back into his gapping sockets to make them seem more uncanny. And having them look sideways at you even though he's placed forward on the stage. And then posting it in every discord I'm in. Forcing my friends to look at him as he gazes back at them. And then all reacting with "..oh my god? oh mY GOD! OH MY GOD" followed by "YOU MADE THAT? THATS FUCKING AWESOME" like no dude typing words on a keyboard will never make me feel as close to godhood as creating funny little cursed drawings does.

#Idk tldr; I want to feel utterly insane about my interest again but I'm so tired #also fuck ai and short form video “essays”#pancakes talks #rambling #text post #pancakes life stuff

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eusuntgratie · 2 years

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This feels a lot like procrastination 👀 but fine, fic writing questions...

5, 6, 7, 14, 18, 20, 25, 28, 48, 51, 73 😁❤

well i was gonna write but then EVENTS TRANSPIRED and i got worked up so i don't think that's gonna happen regardless so no need to feel bad about sending me 392049234204 questions (i think you've been talking to poe too much hmm)

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

answered here

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

answered here

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

OKAY i want to give you a tknp thirst tweets snippet but its not formatted yet BLERGH so here have some pining patty:

They never talked about the slow escalation of what could be written off as buddies with no boundaries - sitting too close on the couch and wrestling with too much touching - into a full-blown friends with benefits situation, neither of them willing (or able, in Nolan’s case) to stop the seemingly inevitable march from a frantic hand down the others’ sweats to sloppily making out during slow hand jobs, Nolan craving TK’s skin under his teeth, leaving bruises they passed off as hockey injuries, to blowjobs and finally, to Nolan discovering that nothing had ever come close to making him feel as good as TK does when he fucks him.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

outside on my laptop. we have these fancy tall adirondack chairs that my stepdad made us and i love writing in mine on the deck. mine has a little thingy added to the footrest bc i'm short af so that my feet can touch the footrest bc normal people furniture doesn't work for my short ass legs.

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

no, i don't, absolutely not. i do not enjoy my hobbies giving me goddamn homework. i will do research for a totally inane detail that no one cares about (i'm looking at you, LA Zoo map) but will go to great lengths to avoid actual legit research for fic.

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

oooh i like both but overall probably canon fics. trying to fit what i want to write into the canon puzzle is really fun, and i think i'm better at that than transposing canon characters and plot points into a new universe.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

BRAINSTORMING. god so fun. if the fics could just pop out of my brain once i form a coherent idea i'd be the most prolific writer in the world. coming up with 1-2 fic ideas in a day is totally normal for me i live for that shit. and then i want to read the thing i brainstormed about and occasionally actually sit down to write it. SIGH.

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

i write fic for fun, so i don't take myself too seriously or worry too much about what i'm bad at, but i struggle to write kissing? i will jump to something smuttier in a second because writing emotional, hot, exactly the vibe you want making out is fucking HARD. i need to work at it a bit i think.

48. Who is your favorite character to write for? Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

i don't think i have one? wait maybe melissa mccall? if i have an opportunity to work her into a fic i do it. i love her so much.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

no not really. i love to read and write porn, and angst, and sometimes fluff. i like to read and write a variety of stuff. i do love to read longfics, and writing 30k was an act of suffering, so there's an area of discprencancy. i also like reading au's way more than i like writing them. (i'm not opposed if i have an au idea thats just not usually where my mind goes).

73. What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

oh i don't know. i think i'm so flustered and flattered by every genuine compliment that i'm not capable of cataloguing them.

fanfiction writer asks | ask me

#fanfic writer asks #ask grace #grace writes #lostcol

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yayteaberry · 3 years

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*SFW* Babysitting (Bakugou)

Rarely did he ever take a Saturday off from either training or studying, he was determined to stay better than everyone else. But, it had been raining since yesterday and he felt like he deserved a break anyways. From morning to afternoon, he enjoyed doing absolutely nothing, scrolling his social media and avoiding liking any of his friends posts on principle.

Shitty hair still won’t shut up about the selfie he liked so now nobody gets any.

His planned day of nothing is interrupted by a knock at his door, and he’s been pacified by memes to a degree where he doesn’t react violently to the intrusion.

Instead he shoves his phone into his pocket as gets up and opens the door, plain faced until he sees it’s you and that you’re holding something. Well, someone.

“Hey!”, you greet with an unusual level of enthusiasm, “I need you to do a favor for me.”

“A favor?”, he asks while he takes in the fact that you’re holding a baby, dressed in a striped onesie.

“Yeah, I’m kinda busy with stuff and I need someone to keep an eye on this little cutie for a bit!” To emphasize the importance or maybe sway him, you turn the baby around so he can see the chubby face.

“... If you’re asking me to babysit it, then no.”

You click your tongue against your teeth, rolling your eyes. “Well don’t call her by ‘it’, and I really need you to do this for me!”

He puts a hand on the door to signal that he’s about to close it, “Nah. Ask shitty hair or Deku, I think they’d love to drool over your kid.” “It’s my aunts baby!”, you say as you put your foot over the threshold, jostling the baby somewhat, which excitedly babbles as it meets his eyes, “They’re busy too, I tried asking! Believe me, you weren’t my first choice.”

“What do you mean by that?” He speaks with annoyance, opening the door fully as his competitive nature rises.

Internally you give a sigh of relief, externally you place the baby on your hip. “Bakugou, I think we both know that you’re awful with children. But you’re my last option and I have nowhere else to turn.”

“I should’ve been your first choice! I’m a fuckin’ wiz at keeping brats well behaved! Gimme!”

“Ah!”, you step out of range of his attempted grab and put out your pointer finger, “Don’t yell at the baby, don’t be aggressive with the baby, and most of all, don’t yell at the baby.”

In spite of your words you know full well he’ll do nothing of the sort, just wanting to give the appearance so he’ll be on his best behavior. He doesn’t have to know he was actually the only one you wanted to watch her.

After all his surface level bullying you can tell he’s soft on the inside, knowing he’s the least likely to give into a baby's whims while also being gentle enough to avoid making her cry.

“Yeah yeah.”, he grumbles, taking her from you when you extend her towards him, “When are you gonna collect the brat?”

You give a 50/50 gesture, shrugging, “Ah an half hour to two hours, but I’ll be back before three hours for sure! She’s been fed and changed recently but just in case,” A bag is revealed when you pull it from behind your back, taking it off by the strap and setting it inside.

“Diapers and toys, if she’s hungry there’s something for her in there too. Just, be careful about that, she’s sorta young for it.”

He nods at your words, watching her grapple at his shirt, having not once taken his eyes off her.

“Thank you!”, you chirp and give him a kiss on the cheek, knowing that he can’t do anything about it while holding her. That makes him glance up at you with some minor malice, which is reduced severely by the dusting of pink across his nose.

With that you take your leave, confident he’ll do fine.

He shuts the door and sits at the edge of his bed, cradling her in his arms. After a moment he takes a look over to the bag you left, thinking it’d probably be best to fish something out of there for her to do.

While he wasn’t experienced in caring for a baby in any capacity that felt like common sense. Plus, it’d allow him to continue wasting time on his phone.

“You,” he gently places her on the middle of the bed as he stands, “are not taking my Saturday from me with your tiny incapable hands.”

With one hand he grabs the bag off the floor and sets it on the bed beside her, opening it and digging through its contents. You were right, the thing is loaded with diapers and many different plastic objects.

Keys, babies love keys.

That toy seems the best choice, taking that and a blanket out before putting the bag on the floor nearby, holding the baby like a barrel under his arm while he flattens the blanket, then placing her on her belly.

He dangles the keys in front of her, watching as her eyes widen as she takes a horribly aimed swipe towards them. With a laugh tinged snort he lets her have them, sitting with his back against the bed and taking his phone out, resuming his leisure hobby.

A minute passes before he peeks over at her to make sure she’s still there, idly chewing on an orange key. It reminds him of something a puppy would do, up until she shoves it in way too far.

He drops his phone and yanks the keys away with concern she’ll vomit, not expecting her to look so upset over it. Briefly she contentedly waits for them to be returned, but when it becomes apparent they aren’t, she scowls.

“No,” he preemptively says, putting the keys down at his other side to keep them away, “you did something fucking stupid, so now they’re off limits. Don’t get all upset over it.”

She huffs and slams a hand down a few times, making a ‘gah’ with very demanding intent.

“I said no. Let me find something else then, calm down.”, he says as he reaches over to grab something random out of the bag, finding a plush red dinosaur. “See? Fun. Chew on this.”

He sets it down in front of her, and she immediately pushes it over, repeating herself. If nothing he gives her credit for having a strange amount of object permanence.

“I. Said. No. The fuck do you want me to do? You’re the one who can’t handle having the damn thing!” With a curt ‘no’ as a final statement, he leans over her to shove the keys back into the bag.

This turns out to be a huge mistake.

In a universally understood way, her face screws up as she starts taking in heavy breaths, which makes his eyebrows raise.

“Don’t. No crying.” his tone is as assertive as he can get it, shaking his head as if to cement it. Her tiny face turns red, sniffling once before fat tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

With no idea what to do in this situation, he starts rummaging through the bag for a solution, diapers spilling out as he digs for a similar toy if there even is one. He cringes as she really starts crying, caving and getting the keys back out, giving them to her. “See? See??”

She either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, bawling in the way only babies do, arms giving out as she lays down.

His instincts on consoling anyone are terrible and usually not to be followed but he acts without thinking, picking her up and setting her in his lap, bouncing his leg as he pets her back, softly shushing her, ignoring the part of him that does in fact wish to yell at the baby.

Her tiny body trembles, pawing at his shirt as she rubs her tear stained face into it. Continuing to follow his instincts he lifts her up, both arms cradling her as her head rests against his shoulder. She does eventually calm, relaxing as quiet hiccuping replaces her sobs, breathing regulating.

She's effectively soothed, he on the other hand is completely shaken up.

Jesus, why did that scare him so much? He’d heard babies cry before and always was irritated by it, but this time there was something so different about it. Even now his heart is still racing, mouth dry as he stares forward into the wall with a mixture of worry and gratefulness.

Once she’s relaxed, he picks up the previously discarded dinosaur, placing it in his lap next to her. Thankfully, she seems to have forgotten about the keys, happy to latch onto the plushy.

He takes his phone back out with the intent to resume his earlier scrolling, but he can’t entirely take his eyes off her. He’s more interested in watching her reactions than he’d ever admit.

In some ways she reminds him of you, mainly the eye color and the way her cheeks pinch up when she smiles.

You seem the motherly type to him so he assumes you’re leagues better at this than he is, but you’ve never mentioned having to babysit her before.

In fact you’ve never mentioned her before at all.

Maybe you enjoyed doing it but kept quiet so you didn’t have anyone intruding or asking to see her, babies can feel stranger danger so that made sense, it’d probably be overwhelming. She doesn’t hate him though, maybe you knew that she wouldn’t?

Despite the panic she’s sent him through he really wouldn’t mind watching after her again. It'll probably be easier with you here, though he isn’t sure what he’d do if you were, he’d just be sitting around while you did everything.

God, she is really goddamned adorable. He smirks as he takes a second to allow himself to outwardly express something positive, watching her slap her tiny hand against the toy.

Usually the idea of having a baby is the worst one anyone can have, but right now he isn’t all that opposed to it. Not that it looks simple, more that it looks to be worth it.

He knows he’d make super cute babies, based on what he looks like and has always looked like the kid would outshine any other snot maker.

While he didn’t know what you looked like as a baby he just assumed you did too, briefly considering what a baby would look like if it came from you and him.

He’s got his mother's blonde hair despite his father's brunette coloring so that’s a dominant trait, possibly overriding your own but who can know, it’d more likely have more of your features.

Out of anything he’d want a little girl just like this one, though he’d be happy with anything as long as it's yours. Your features have always been something he likes, face as well as body, you’re built well in every aspect he tends to care about.

That, and your winning personality, even he can see that it’s a very pleasant contrast to his own. A kid with a mixture of both would be undoubtedly unstoppable, making him proud left and right.

Suddenly the thought bubble pops as reality rises to the surface.

You’re not his and he doesn’t like you anyways, this doesn’t bear so much thinking since it’ll never happen.

A heat takes to his cheeks as he tries to move on and pretend he wasn’t having a domestic fantasy involving you, mostly pretending he hadn’t had any fantasies about you.

It was something that’d creep into his mind sometimes.

Kirishima and Deku tended to have some softer traits alongside their bolder ones but it just wasn’t the same coming from either of them.

You had a certain tenacity to you, it was totally within your options to let some rich older man take care of you but you wanted more for yourself, you wanted to be a hero.

It made you strong, and you were strong because you worked for it constantly. As thick as your innocence tended to be, he was fairly confident you could knock him unconscious if it strikes you as the right choice.

He shook his head and made an effort to clear out all his emotions, directing his attention back towards the baby to ground himself.

At some point during his daydreaming she’d knocked out cold, the dinosaur laying on the floor beside him, propped up against his chest, quietly snoozing while drooling a slight amount. Even if he wanted too he couldn’t be grossed out, it was way too cute of a sight for him to get mad.

Looking at her makes him feel tired, so he decides that taking a nap wouldn’t be a terrible idea. Careful to avoid waking her, he shifts around to get comfortable, hooking an arm around her so she doesn’t teeter backwards while he’s moving.

He thinks about whether he should turn her over and lay her on the blanket, unsure of what the proper protocol is.

His neck is gonna get super fucked up if he stays sat like this, so he very slowly gets up and lays on his bed, keeping her held to his chest until he’s flat enough to let gravity do the work. For a moment he returns to thinking about laying her on a flat surface but he lets her stay as she is, being a light sleeper means he’ll be able to deal with any problems if there are any.

After thanking Aizawa for the extra sparring lesson, you quickly get yourself showered and changed.

It’s been about two hours since you left her with Bakugou and you were getting increasingly worried he was reaching his limit.

Honestly you didn’t expect to be gone this long, but you were glad you gave him the estimate because it meant he’d have less reasons to be upset with you.

You prepare yourself for him to yell at you for leaving him alone with a demon for so long, even if she’s rarely a problem you do suspect he’ll be dramatic.

Still, it was a godsend that he said yes to begin with, you were going to make sure to tell him that.

When you get to his room you don’t bother with knocking, opening it to let yourself in without hesitation.

You were going to say something, but you forget the instant you lay eyes on the scene in front of you.

Practically swooning, you place a hand over your mouth to prevent making any noise, getting your phone out to document perhaps the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

He’s laying on his bed, one arm over her and one over his eyes to block out the light, her tiny hands secured around the collar of his shirt, both of them peacefully asleep.

Not intending it to be blackmail but being aware it would probably become that, you take pictures from several different angles, wanting nothing more than to show everyone.

Though, for his own sake, you don’t actually send them anywhere near the class.

This doesn’t mean you don’t send them all to his mother, you do.

It does pain you to know you’ll have to hold off on showing people lest the information come back to him, but you do make it your phones home screen anyways.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou baby shenanigans #fluff #mha fluff #SFW #gender neutral reader #gn reader #bakugou katuski x reader #a03 fic

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teacup-crow · 3 years

Text

Maybe, Maybe, Maybe

Fun bit of survivors’ guilt for @badthingshappenbingo, based pretty heavily off Don’t Poke the Bear and Variations on a Theme. Post-finale.

They take it in turns to keep watch for when he wakes up: Doug, Reneé, Isabel, first names still such a novelty. Just his luck, he opens his eyes to the impassive face of Captain Lovelace.

“Hi, dickbag. Sore head?”

“Unnnnhh…” he whines as if he’s lying under a ton of rocks rather than a cosy quilt on Renee’s living room floor. His face is a patchwork of bruising. “Aspirin?”

She takes pity, and passes him two and a glass of water. The sitting up takes longer than he thought it would.

“You look terrible. Lucky for you, Renee makes a mean chilli con carne. Never would have guessed she could cook.”

“No thanks, I should, should be going-”

“You need food in your system, that’s non-negotiable. First thing’s first, though, you’re having a shower, and you either go willingly or get dragged bodily, because you goddamn stink. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir,” he mumbles automatically, and he remembers the Colonel - Warren? Was it on a day he could call him Warren? - once saying something similar and his head pounds. ((“mr jacobi, of all the irresponsible, stupid shit i have seen from you this really takes the-“))

“Bathroom’s on the second floor, just past the master bedroom. Dominick put a pile of clean clothes in there before he left for work. And it’s Isabel, okay? Not sir. Not Captain. Never again.”

***

“Who did this to you?”

He grips his mug of sweet tea like it’s thousand dollar whiskey. He’s still ashen. “I did this to me.”

“You beat the shit out of yourself? Okay, yeah. Don’t buy that one.” Isabel repeats the question. “Who did this to you?”

“Just some guys I pissed off. I don’t know how many. I don’t know who. Happy now?”

The room goes silent. Isabel continues:

“And did you go provoking them deliberately?”

Not for the first time, Renee wonders whether they should have included Doug in this little intervention. He’s been through so much just like the rest of them, but he doesn’t know it, and he’s clearly freaking out at the situation.

“Why would he want something like that to happen? He looks terrible!”

“I don’t know, Doug,” Isabel says levelly. “Care to answer, Jacobi?”

He’s not on a first name basis, apparently.

“Not… I didn’t... no. No, no, no. I was too drunk and… picking fights, but suddenly there were too many of them, okay? But I got out. And if I want to drink then that’s my own problem, so thank you for the hospitality but-“

Renee cuts in there. “When you drink yourself into a stupor, get attacked by a gang in a back alley, and stumble into my doorway at 0300 hours after six months of radio silence, it becomes our problem.” Her look of pity makes his stomach churn even more than the chilli did. He breathes in, hold, out; in, hold, out; in-((alana’s breathing technique and why why why is she everywhere in everything why does he have to see her out of the corner of his eye when it’s been so long he can’t properly remember her face-))

“Fine. What do you want from me?”

“You are a good man and you saved every single one of our lives and we need to understand why you’re so intent on throwing yours away.”

Jacobi starts laughing then, guttural laughs that worsen the ache in his head and bones but he can’t seem to stop them. “...me? I’m a good man? Oh my God, Lieutenant, that’s hilarious. Give us another.”

“You need to take this seriously! This is a form of self harm! You could have died!” Isabel is pacing up and down. She and Renee do good cop, bad cop like it’s a professional sport.

“Boo fucking hoo. And the world would forever be worse off for my passing.”

Isabel stops, and turns back towards him with some heat in her gaze. “I have lost too many crew members who deserved to die far less than you do. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? Do you need me to reconfirm that you are a an asshole? Do you need to hear about how Fisher, and Hui, and Fourier, and Lambert were all far better people than you will ever, ever be? Or will you accept that you are good in there? That deep down you’re on the right-“

“We burned their letters.” He’s staring at the duvet he’s wrapped in, running his finger over the flowers on the pattern. “Okay? Still think I’m a good person?”

“...wait. What?” She laughs a little, in shock perhaps. “But you told me…”

“I told you what I needed to tell you to make you trust me. We burned your crew’s letters. Lambert’s… I remember those especially. His hands were shaking really hard when he wrote them, weren’t they.”

It’s not a question.

Isabel stops pacing, and Jacobi grins again but it doesn’t reach his bruised eyes when he looks up at her. “More than mine, even. You could tell he was sick. They didn’t make any sense. We laughed at them. The irony of a Communications Officer who can’t communicate. Are you listening to me? We read their letters and we burned them and we laughed about it-“

Renee loses her softness. “Jacobi, that is enough!”

Isabel has a hand on her chest as if something has hit her there. She counts to ten in her head, ((fisher’s technique to try and stop her fighting with sam, never worked but still stuck in her head, or this copy of her head, or whoever she is now-)) and leaves the room.

They hear her slamming drawers in the kitchen.

Doug glances at Jacobi and shakes his head, before hurrying after her.

“How could you,” Reneé says. “How could you.”

“I don’t know. Will you let me go and ruin my own life now?”

“Never,” she replies. “Because, God help me, you’re still a member of my crew.”

At that, his eyes prick with tears he can’t explain. He rolls over on the air bed, and closes them.

***

“Lovelace?” Jacobi finally makes himself walk into the kitchen, grimacing like each step is on hot sand. The words are monotone. “I’m so sorry. What I did and said is... inexcusable.”

“Nope. That’s too large a word for your vocabulary. Come back to me with an apology Renée didn’t script,” Isabel snaps, going back to scribbling in a sketchbook.

“Look, I’m not much good at this-“

“You’re telling me.”

“I’m… really used to people yelling at me and hitting me until they feel better. Or you can shoot me if you like!”

“Jesus. Well, I am not about to do that to ease your guilt. You look like you’d snap if one more person poked you. So apologise properly.”

“I’m sorry…”

“For?” Isabel prompts over the top of her book.

“I’m sorry for burning your crew’s letters.”

“You did what you were ordered to do. It is what it is. I’m not condoning it.”

There’s a moment of silence, and Jacobi realises she’s waiting for him to continue. “And… I’m sorry for bringing it up. That was… needlessly cruel. It sucked.”

“It really did,” she replies, putting the book down. “Tell you what: that sounded somewhat genuine, and Goddard brought out the shit in all of us. You look so pathetic, I’m going to forgive you. Not because you deserve it, but because I don’t bear grudges. Not anymore.”

She holds out a hand, and he shakes it. “Thank you.”

“Wow. That actually hurt for you to say.”

Jacobi nods. He sits down across from her at Renée’s huge darkwood table, and thinks about how she and Dominick must have bought this when they moved in together with plans to have people over for dinner every other night. Maybe even plans to have kids.

He wonders if Dominick ate at it alone while his wife was gone.

“So, you gone on that holiday yet?”

“No, actually. I’ve legally been dead for about seven years, so getting a passport is proving pretty tricky.”

“I can imagine.”

“Where have you been, anyway? We tried to get into contact with you. We drove down to your old apartment - got your address from the Goddard database - but it was cleaned out.”

Jacobi looks sheepish. “Yeah, well, I’d mostly been staying at Alana’s for the last few years or overnight at… yeah… so I’d not been a very good tenant and turns out they took ‘lost in space’ as the perfect opportunity to kick me out. So I’ve been sofa to sofa, on the streets a bit-”

“For heaven’s sake, Jacobi. We would have helped you, you stupid asshole! All you had to do was ask and you could have stayed here! Renee and Dominick would probably even let you have a cheese collection or whatever the fuck it was.”

“Guess the amount of drinks it takes for me to lose my pride is somewhere over eighteen?”

“How do you have a functioning liver?”

They sit in an almost comfortable silence for a few minutes, Isabel reopening her sketchbook.

“I never knew you drew.”

“You never knew me outside of a life-threatening situation.” Isabel sighs, twists the pencil between her fingers. “I don’t think I did. Before. The old ‘me’, I mean. But I was bored and I can’t get a job because of the ‘being dead’ issue, so I thought I should take up a hobby or something. Might be therapeutic. I’m not very good at it…”

“Can I see?”

“I, uh,” Isabel suddenly looks uncertain. “I drew her. Maxwell. I drew everyone, actually. Are you sure you want to look?”

“Yes.”

He leafs through the pages, at first simple doodles before branching into full portraits. Eiffel, upside down and smoking a cigarette. Hilbert, looking troubled at a shadow behind him he can’t quite see. Two ghostlike figures in lab coats staring out at the star, the man with a prophetic terror etched on his face - must be Isabel’s old crewmates. Mr Cutter smiles up at him with far too many sharp teeth in sharper lines where the pencil was pressed far too hard and he turns the page quickly. There’s Kepler, mid-whiskey speech and it almost stops his heart. He pauses. Maxwell.

In the picture, her eyes are shining as she stares at Hera’s console, fingers nothing more than a blur - the three-day stint she spent trying to get the AI online. Aside from the orange and blue of Wolf 359, elsewhere in the book Isabel has barely used colour, but here the room is bathed in a serene green light from the screens. Behind Maxwell, Jacobi sees himself, little more than a stocky, sketchy outline, waiting for her to finish.

He looks so proud of her.

He looks so… content.

After staring for a long moment, Jacobi closes the book and hands it back. “Thank you.”

“You can keep the pictures of them, if you like,” Isabel offers, but he doesn’t know whether he would like, so he says:

“Tell me about your crew.”

“What?”

“Your old crew. Tell me about them. Was Lambert the one staring at...?”

“No. No. No, that was Kuan Hui, our senior astrophysicist. He was whipsmart and funny and fearless, until the time Goddard Futuristics played around in his brain, stretched out his perception of time. He was completely alone in the dark for two weeks. His smile never really reached his eyes after that.”

Jacobi sips tea awkwardly, even though it’s cold.

“Something like that, it stays with you. At least he had Fourier, though.”

“That’s the woman behind him?”

“Junior physicist. Victoire Fourier had eyes like stars. Cleverest person I’ve ever met. She played six instruments, spoke four languages and she had the most gentle soul. She used to read to Hui when he got sick with Decima. Coughed up every organ in his body. I thought it would break her, but she was made of stern stuff. She vanished off the space station in the final days and I still don’t know what exactly happened to her-”

“I… do. If you want to know, I mean.”

Isabel shakes her head. Then pauses. Then shakes her head again. “I get the feeling whoever is to blame is long gone.”

Jacobi shrugs. “Who else?”

“Well, there was Mace Fisher. Fisher… Fisher died because of me, not Goddard Futuristics. Asteroid shower tore him from my hands. He had a boyfriend waiting at home. He was sensitive, sensible, grounding. A real older brother type. I- I didn’t deal particularly well with his death. Well, you know that much.”

((Pill popper!)) Jacobi gulps more cold tea.

“And Lambert?”

“Sam Lambert. Officer Samuel Lambert had a stick up his ass. He was whiny, and authoritarian, and he treasured his copy of Pryce and Carter more than Reneé and Kepler combined did. He drove me nearly insane, and I drove him likewise. The best second in command you could ask for. A damn good man. Sam got sick after Hui, so we knew what was coming. What it meant. He was brave, though. At first.”

((“C-Captain, please shoot me, please, it hurts, it hurts, Captain, please, I just want it to-”)

She falters.

“Lovelace?”

“Yup?”

“You know, it’s not even really about the Hephaestus. I keep… it’s insane, but I keep thinking about… I was an explosives guy for the Air Force. Before Goddard. A trigger failed and two men died. Andrews and Sullivan. I haven’t thought about them in years and suddenly-“

“They’re everywhere?”

There’s a sudden understanding between them.

“They’re everywhere. Them and Maxwell and Kepler. They’re in mirrors, in the back of my brain, around corners.”

“Flashes of them.”

“And if you just reach out far enough, maybe-“

“Maybe-“

“Maybe.”

((let’s go be monsters)), Jacobi’s brain echoes. He grits his teeth.

“Did it stop for you? When does it stop?” He finds himself asking. Isabel doesn’t answer.

#wolf 359 #bad things happen bingo #Daniel Jacobi #isabel lovelace #w359

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abzulios · 2 years

Text

Man.. it’s been forever.

So in my own little weird corner of the internet, I finally have a spot, I think. I finally moved, got out of the hell I was living in, stuff finally got better, but now.. I’m away from everyone I ever knew. God this is gonna be a long one, but I feel the need to scream into the endless void of the internet. So, I know we aren’t exactly popular, this isn’t gonna reach that many people, or anything like that, and frankly, we don’t expect it to. I just hope some of the right people out there see it, and I hope it stays, just.. as a piece of me. I always liked reading other people’s words, even after they were long gone, so.. let me add to the pile. We have been abused our whole life, by parents and adoptive parental figures alike. We have been abused and neglected by friends, family, everyone we could ever have reached out to. We’re finally out of it all, and we couldn’t be more happy. Even though we’re away from it all, we still feel it’s here, dragging us down.. the more and more we get back up, it’s like another brick’s been tossed on the pile. Oh well.. right? Get back up, keep walking. Being an adult is fun, being an adult is an utter living hell. Having to sort through every little legal issue is taxing, and it’s getting harder and harder to explain to the new people we have in our lives what it all means, or how we are. Hell, it’s getting harder and harder to meet these new people. We have to find people to care for and about us, we have to find partners.. friends.. new family even, being as the one we spawned with ditched us when the match started. Hell, we only have one friend still.. he’s the most amazing bro on the planet.. if ya ever meet him, give him a hug for us.. he needs one. Little tiny tea errors I suppose.. all the little problems just keep building up, sorting through them is hell, they’re all different from what we’re used to. Just a little mistake.. here and there.. adding up.. slowly we’re drowning in them.. Sure now we have internet that works, a decent PC, a lovely setup, some goddamned privacy.. but that’s.. all we have. It’s the little things that matter, magical internet. Remember that. Could save your life one day. Don’t ask me how, I don’t know.. but it could. The chance is never zero. Onto some positives.. we finally feel like we belong somewhere! With the aforementioned privacy, we’ve been able to get things we needed to done rather easily, the internet access has made everything else easier, the music hasn’t killed us yet.. the partners we did have are still hanging around somewhere.. games are still fun.. writing has become a hobby again, instead of a labor-inducing chore. Reading is a hobby again.. model building is no longer a required coping mechanism.. music making too.. we only have to deal with the needed adult things.. we have free time that isn’t occupied by screaming fucktards.. it’s nice. Maybe come get to know us a bit? I dunno.. we’re a bunch of unique fools stuck together... interesting taste in hobbies and music.. generally chill.. I personally get called a father figure a lot by my online friends.. I don’t know if this is a call for help and support.. or a rant into the void anymore.. and frankly I don’t think I need to care. No one’s ever going to see this, let alone read this far. If you did, I’m sorry I wasted your time. I might post some of what I write on here.. Dev might as well.. maybe some art.. Who knows? Only you will! Nah.. I won’t be funny here.. this is kinda serious. Show me how.. Show me how to breathe.. (For the record, we are a system, DID to be specific, if you’re curious as to why we’re using “we/we’re” pronouns.)

#tw depressing stuff #this is bullshit #this is us #did #bullshit #rant #random rant #sorry for the rant #etc

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rouiyan · 4 years

Text

𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘜𝘊𝘒 𝘐𝘕 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘎𝘖𝘈𝘓 [ 𝘭.𝘥𝘩 ]

⧏ hyuck’s installment of the keep your cool collective ⧐

synopsis: you’ve decided that the boy in ‘66’ is yours.

✧ ice hockey player!hyuck x (fem.) reader x ice hockey player!jeno + best friend!renjun

✧ genres : fluff, minor angst ✧ word count : 2.3k ✧ disclaimer : swearing

✧ author’s note — finally my brain had the gall to pull through with this idea but i'm left with the realization that all my hyuck fics are just him simping for u.

hyuck internally sighs, his head ringing and ankles sore, as the buzzer goes off, signaling the end of the third round. he’s almost elated, even though he’s sure his team hasn’t won, by just the fact that the game is over. hyuck is by no means sick of ice hockey but lately, the mere idea of it drives him into exhaustion. as he turns to expect the disappointed stare of his coach, he’s surprised when he’s met with a halfhearted smirk. weird, the coach should know more than anyone how lazily this game had played out. but then, as an afterthought, he checks the scoreboard and realizes with an oh shit, that they were tied with the opposing team, somehow.

his line of vision is parting from the board when he makes unfortunate eye contact with the person entering the rink. your hair is pulled back with a pale pink scrunchie and your outfit is a certified mess of oversized hoodie and sweat shorts upon white sneakers. he can quite literally feel the heat that is quick to rush to his cheeks, unfailing to hide his flustered state. he knows he looks stupid but he still can't help but stare and ogle at new and blatant eye candy as she crosses the threshold into the cold space. half your figure is now covered by the wall that separates the stands with the rink though it doesn't matter because he's still equally enamoured by simply your presence.

"hyuck, why you staring at y/n?"

hyuck can only wince inwardly as he stutters out, "that's- that's y/n?" it seems unfair that renjun's been hoarding such a pretty specimen to himself. "like your best friend, y/n?"

"yeah, what about her?"

"br-bro, you never mentioned that she was pretty."

"hey, don't even think about it. you're the last possible person i'd set her up with. plus, she's with jeno, they went on a date after practice last time, remember?"

there's an underlying disappointment in donghyuck's tone when he's only able to produce a soft, "oh," because frankly he doesn't know why he's so worked up over someone who he's never even met and that's also dating one of his close teammates. amidst his confused trance, he almost fails to notice his coach call for a pre-game huddle.

he ends up tuning out most of it, now distracted by how jeno keeps glancing back at you and making funny faces, you returning them with the! cutest! little expressions he has ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes upon. the rest of the game is played out with enthusiasm on his part, even going so far as scoring in two more points. he's quick to doubt the truth but donghyuck knows that it's whoever that girl is in the front seats that's making him outdo himself.

the game ends and his team wins, claps and cheers at how the game had turned around in their favor, but donghyuck reverts into a sulky demeanor as soon as he's off the rink and into the locker rooms. he notices jeno, being quick and almost feisty with the other boys that are taking too long for his liking in hogging the showers. donghyuck assumes it has something to do with the (gorgeous, wtf) girl that's waiting on him for a date. hardly fair, he thinks, if only he'd met you earlier by chance, he knows he'd definitely have the ability to charm you out of your wits. after all, he's smart, his face is undeniably agreeable, his sense of humor is top notch, and well, what's not to like?

instead of getting closer to you as he so hoped he would, he ends up becoming more familiar with the routine disappointment, and yet delight, at seeing you show up after practices, games, and eventually, team gatherings outside the rink. he's okay with it, he thinks. but it becomes frequent, even, that you show up out of the blue, with the invitation from jeno, and he's starting to lose his cool when it comes to the simplest of interactions. being included in a conversation with you was no problem, as long as he wasn't talking. eye contact? bearable, but not for more than half a second. and the utmost unfortunate luck for the boy if you ever asked him to pass you a fork, or a spoon, or a goddamned napkin.

he's not so sure anymore, one sullen night, that he could ever make you his, even if he was gifted the chance. when you're not by jeno's side, you're by renjun's, and if that isn't telling enough about how uncomfy you feel around everyone else, he wouldn't know any better. but even laying within the deepest, darkest parts of night, the screen on his phone displaying your more recent instagram post of you on jeno's back, a sun setting beach painted behind the two of you, he finds his heart yearning to know more about you. he knows you're not one to reach out, to make friends unless in a situation that calls for it, so he supposes now is as good as a time as any to shoot his shot, at being friends.

he braves himself for this hefty task. his breaths are ragged and his heart is already hammering a deep crater inside his chest at just the thought of following through with his plan. his fingers are shaking and his pupils are twitting at about the same pace and it appears that none of his bodily functions seem to be within his control anymore. but before he can press the button, his door is thunked wide open with a hard force, the handle even going so far as to lodge itself neatly into the wall that's now been broken through. donghyuck's mouth is hanging ajar but he's barely surprised to see that the culprit of such heinous and costly action is jeno. lee jeno.

donghyuck makes swift and subtle actions to shove his phone underneath his pillow but when he takes a good look at the boy's face, he realizes that he didn't need to be so discrete in the first place. jeno's eyes are swollen, and not in the way that suggests he got into a big manly manly fight and came out the victor, but in the way that looks as if his three cats died, all at once, and he'd taken it upon himself to cry for each of their mothers respectively.

the same eyes rove about the room before settling on the bed, his body following suit but moving as if it were part of another entity entirely. the mattress sinks down low with his body weight and he repositions himself so that he's laying down comfortably, his legs still hung over and down the side. donghyuck can hear jeno's ragged breaths, not unlike his own a minute ago, and he wonders what hell of a day the boy had had to render him into this state of numbed consciousness. but before he can even form the question that sits at the edge of his mind, jeno's voice reverberates lowly in the silence of the room.

"she broke up with me," donghyuck blinks purposefully, "something 'bout how she thinks she might like someone else, fucking bastard."

"is she the bastard?" donghyuck tries to disassociate his feelings from his words and come across as...helpful in lifting his friend's mood.

jeno chuckles, "no, hyuck, she's not the bastard. bastard's the guy who has her heart. i'm glad she told me though, she's never been one to hide things."

"yeah, would've been worse if she dragged it on, huh."

"yeah, a lot worse."

donghyuck's voice almost gets caught within the confines of his rationality, "did she tell you who he- the bastard is?" he sighs inwardly, knowing that this was none of his business whatsoever, but the desire to know seeps into his thoughts.

jeno sighs as well, "no, not really. she said it was some boy on the team though, might even be you now that i think about it."

"oh," is, yet again, the only thing he is able to produce.

the new revelations seem to give life to donghyuck. the mere idea that there's a possibility of interest in his direction is something that he thrives off of. mundane tasks like washing the dishes are now enjoyable hobbies, no actual brain work, head empty, thoughts of you exclusively. when it comes to practice, you're no longer there, your presence reduced to hushed talk between the boys and renjun, asking him if you really are the reason jeno's been so out of it, letting easy pucks into the goal left and right. hyuck is relieved, though, that he gets a break, a step back to rethink his crazed emotions. maybe it really was just simple infatuation. maybe it was just because he hadn't gotten laid in awhile. or even just the fact that he's been hanging out with the boys too much and that the first girl he set his eyes on in days ultimately became the protagonist to his daydreams. hell, he is especially glad that you decided it wasn't worth showing your face at the rink for the time being for jeno would've been downright devastated.

that whole paragraph of feelings is bluntly disregarded and thrown off track as he enters the corner cafe a few blocks down from his house and is met with you waving your hand excitedly at him and motioning for him to sit with you. he doesn't hesitate, of course, but makes sure he takes slow and deliberate steps to the window booth you're sitting at just to make sure he at least gets in four deep breaths before he is inevitably subjected to not breathing in your presence.

"hyuck, it's been awhile, i hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable or anything," your face morphs into an expression of realization as it hits you that calling him over was entirely to satisfy your own hopes and dreams. the boy sitting across from you, smiling lightly, might as well be feigning a pleasant disposition, grossed out by the girl that dumped his friend just because she thought she was interested in someone else. by the end of this thought, your voice is reduced to a timid pitch, "you can leave if you want, it's all good."

"actually, i think that it'd be more uncomfortable for you if i left." he feels his heart constrict at the sight and the knowledge that his words enlightened your composure. you take it upon yourself to start some light conversation, not wanting to disclose the reason you'd called him over in the first place just yet. your heart picks up pace, rivaling hyuck's own, and you can't help but think of the sheer likeliness of the luck you'd just encountered. just as you decided to brave up for once and not take advantage of your best friend setting you up on one too many blind dates that were just, too artificial for you, the boy whom you had taken a liking for had shown up before your eyes, breezing through those glass doors as if it were a sign for you to just take charge.

"and i was telling him-"

"are you free friday?"

"what? oh, what?!"

"i'm asking if you're free friday."

"i- i mean yeah, i have practice at three, but i'm free afterwards."

"let's grab dinner together then."

"oh shoot, okay, like with the boys? 'cause i could ask them if they're down."

"no, i was hoping it could be just us. like a date."

"so, hold the fuck up, you're asking me out on a date?"

"yeah, why…? am i not allowed to do that? is going out on a date with me gonna break bro code or something?"

"n- no, nothing like that. it's just...you can't possibly be serious."

"oh, trust me, i'm dead serious."

"...holy shit, i'm in."

donghyuck fucks up big time at practice, his cheeks are way too hot and he's sweating gallons per second. his jaw is clenching and unclenching in hopes that the action might make him a little more attentive while on ice but instead, he finds his eyes roving over to your figure in the stands far more often than he'd like to admit. he thinks, no he hopes, that jeno is okay with the fact that you're not here for him but rather the 'boy on the team' he'd unknowingly referred to a few months back. hyuck knows, though, that renjun is definitely not okay with it, the aforementioned boy throwing just as many glares at hyuck as hyuck's many glances towards you.

practice is over long after he hoped it would be but you're patient and supportive nonetheless. his eyes crinkle and his smile widens as you sidle into him for warmth in the cool air of the ice rink. hyuck solves this by removing the hoodie from his own, accustomed body, and gently tugs it over your shivering one. he thinks he handles the wave of adoration that consumes him pretty well, even able to ease the corners of his lips down a tad bit. "you're cute," you pull at his cheeks and suddenly things are not so easy to handle.

donghyuck does eventually get used to all the sneaky shit you pull just to get his ears red and shy smile blossoming, but he knows he'll never get used to the sight of you in the stands, adorning his spare 66 jersey with everything else fading, and fading further away until it's just you and him, and him and you.

✧ end note — i hope you find someone that holds you in such high esteem as hyuck does in this fic, i'm sure you deserve it <3

#dreamwritersnet #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #nct haechan #haechanxreader #haechan fluff #haechan fics #nct scenarios #rouiyan fics #rouiyan writes

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

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so this morning, while scrolling through my fb feed, i came across an nyt opinion/advice piece from a 27yo (ie basically me lmao) who is obviously lucky, in a sense, to finally land their “dream job using my (their) skills” etc. like obvs i can’t read it bc of the stupid “you get one free article a month if you either don’t have an account or subscription” (my one free article was used up reading an article about adult adhd like last week)….. thing that nyt does.

but anyway. back on topic lol. the crux of the article in both the headline and the quote snippet was that the advice asker was really dissatisfied with the 40 hour work week that came with her “dream job”. with how having this 40hr workweek gave her no time to do her busy chores like house cleaning or laundry or didn’t even give her time to let her have her hobbies/creative pursuits (whatever they were/are).

however, in the comments on the article (and apparently from those who read the article on the comments, the advice/opinion column writer) a good bunch of like gen Xer’s and baby boomers (im assuming) were ganging up on the asker like “suck it up princess, it’s what life is!!! i work 70+ hours a week and LOVE IT and have just resigned myself to the fact that i have NO time left over to do my “chores”! learn to O U T S O U R C E these life admin tasks to someone else!!! everyone MUST LEARN this in america!!! it makes life so much easier ☺️” and such.

of course, there were plenty of the same bs comments that you see on anything about careers or home ownership towards millennials/gen Z’ers about “learn to go WITHOUT and save save save and squander your time so that you NEVER live and HAVE FUN or TIME FOR HOBBIES! my bet is that your parents did that and they survived just fine while also raising your ungrateful spiteful ass (not including any type of health issues they might have picked up from such long hours/shitty working conditions) so why can’t you just L E A R N to do the same you precious spoilt brat!!! because the reality of Real Life™️ is that you can’t have it both ways!!! then you’ll have early retirement guaranteed, hopefully!!! and know that hobbies really are time wasters most of the time ☺️ or at least they were for me!!! and your precious so-called “creative pursuits” most definitely are time wasters. no one needs THOSE.” and so on so forth.

they also had jibes for her bc the asker wanted to start a family at some point apparently… and apparently it’s “much worse” once you have kids. like. thanks geraldine and henry. you’ve just told us how much you’ve resented having your kids/family in one fell swoop. your opinion which you’ve framed as unhelpful, condescending advice is now voided.

like. i don’t know how rhonda or paul or deandra or philip could miss the point so fucking entirely. why the fuck should anyone- nay everyone (bc that’s what they make it sound like)- learn to outsource their busy chores like laundry/house cleaning/grocery shopping or god knows what else- to someone else???? why is that apparently a standard expected to be learnt in the US???

like why the fuck are you so desperate for people not to have free time to do these things (unless of course they live in some of those shitty nyc or other big city apartment blocks that don’t come with individual private laundries in the self-contained flats or a communal laundry on like the bottom floor or w/e for example) frank????

deidre why the hell are you so bitterly hankering about “be grateful that you have it easier than most and learn that hobbies mean jackshit and just sell your soul and time to your boss!!! when will the generation stopping being “me me me!!!” and “work life balance!” and think about the company’s bottom line!! learn that “work life balance” is never important! work like a slave for 50 years and see if your valuable experience is needed then! that’s when you’ll learn that those hours where you were never being lazy, instead of just expecting life to be handed to you, will have paid off!” or whatever other ridiculously toxic capitalist bullshit they were spitting out.

obviously there were FAR MORE people actually supporting the question asker and echoing the idea that the 40hr workweek is now redundant. they were also putting down the opinion/advice piece writer’s advice to the asker….. that was apparently similar to the all the bitter people on the comments saying that the 27yo was just “asking for too much” and had to “learn to suck it up instead of being a petulant and overly selfish dick!!” etc etc etc. we all know the spiel as thoroughly as the macarena now.

because whats so fucking wrong with wanting time to yourself and wanting time to do your busy chores??? why the fuck should i be outsourcing these to other people (unless of course you’re still living at home and your parents are still like “hey what clothes do you need washed i’m doing a load rn” or you have a partner that works from home or has some type of parental leave etc)???? i want to do my own laundry. i want to do my own gardening (ok lawn mowing or tree lopping (if needed) i’d actually outsource bc i can’t lift or push lawn mowers bc they’re heavy af for me or and i obvs can’t use a chainsaw)… but i want to do my own grocery shopping. i want to do my own cooking (although i would consider the meal kit services once i had job that allowed me to afford like $50 a month for one of those meal kits sub services) i want to do my own cleaning.

why, if i lived in the US and not australia, am i just expected to learn to outsource all of these tasks even if i don’t have the money for it??? like why the actual fuck are so many of you so fucking weirdly proud of being absolutely worked into the fucking ground for your “great country” (although this is actually bleeding through to australia too and i hate it); working like literally close to 100 hours a week???

because i wasn’t aware you had to be whatever the fuck his name is from 127 hours and cut your fucking limbs off just to fucking survive a job in either corporate america or just let alone any goddamned job in america….. all so they can supposedly “learn to like working for free and devaluing your worth even more to your employer through overworking yourself and always being available!!! mental health is for those who aren’t built for the Real Adult World™️!!! this person is a prime example of the younger generations being weak and dissatisfied with life so often because of their “oh poor little me!!! care for me!!” act. NO ONE CARES FOR YOU today. stop being so over-expectant/demanding and juvenile!!! only YOU care yourself and you should NEVER expect someone else to pick you up from YOUR bootstraps!!! you’re fucking whiny and conceited babies. the lot of you!!!”

because i honestly don’t know who the fuck would enjoy working 70+ hours week with no time to themselves to do what they enjoy doing…. or enjoy having zilch time to catch up on errands and life admin duties or just general house chores; especially if you’ve moved cities or an entire fucking state/s away from your family and support network. let alone doing the same thing on 40 hours a week.

and on top of everything, let’s not even get started on the time spent commuting to and from work or even commuting for life errands/tasks etc etc- especially if you’re like me and you’re nowhere near the capital city’s centre (ie sydney australia for me) for there to be reliable enough public transport and longer commute times to certain places in those cities (that i’ve bitched about plenty before on other posts on here about work/jobs).

get your head out of your asses warren and viola et al and realise that work life balance is literally NOT ASKING FOR MUCH and is asking employers to just have basic respect for their employees time if they work fulltime. it’s literally detrimental to ones health if they have to sacrifice what feels like (or what is literally like) their entire fucking existence to their employer just for meagre pay and just to fucking survive.

because i read a heart-breaking article last night from huffpost (posted by buzzfeed on fb) about a woman in the US who literally hid her having a second baby from her employer for an entire fucking year (literally the entire pregnancy and birth of the baby and the first 6 months post pushing the baby out) during the pandemic all because she was scared she would get demoted or lose her leading of a project and lose her bs “temp” job which had really turned into full time work although the employer never said anything about it being actually full time hours or whatever…. and plus the lady herself was apparently to scared to ask to be put on the books fulltime too for some weird reason.

like honestly. fuck capitalism. fuck thinking that “work life balance is just too hard for employers to add and regulate. it’s an excuse and ploy for workers to be unprofessional, unproductive and lazy!” or whatever the fuck. everyone deserves time to themselves to pursue their interests/hobbies and busy chores/life admin. no one deserves to waste their entire life working 70+ work weeks for those employers who literally have no respect for their employees personal lives and time.

and particularly during the time that is the pandemic as we’ve seen so many companies having to learn to wholeheartedly embrace working from home and more flexible schedules for their workers. worklife balance is absolutely fucking beneficial for everyone involved.

america fix your bullshit work ethic right now lmao.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona’s job hunting thoughts and woes lmao

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techmomma · 3 years

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I don’t usually like to dwell on the end points of character timelines, not out of any sentimentality but because, well. I can’t play with my character if they’re dead. I mean like dead-dead, gone, not around anymore.I can’t play with a character who isn’t there >:U

I do think about futures frequently though. Ed I’ve talked about plenty of times, but I think I usually avoid TB.

In the best-case scenarios, ones where maybe TB and Nizar reconcile their ghosts, even just a little, and Nizar grows a spine, TB still ends up with some pretty harsh empty-nest syndrome when Momo moves out, even if TB, finally, accepted that as a possibility. He cannot help this, he is a momma bird at heart who needs something to mother.

But he does get to live long enough to see any great-grandchildren Momo gives him. Death couldn’t kill him before, can’t take him now when there’s a mini-Momo on the way!!!

He never really gets sedentary per se but the ship only runs at half-speed, as it were. He sometimes even—hard to believe, but true—takes naps. But he’s still always doddering about with something to do, boredom does not suit this little man in the slightest. Please, god, give this man a hobby-project. He still cooks and cleans and sews and pushes paper and gardens, he’s just more stiff at the end of the day.

His short-term memory is kinda starting to go though and it never quite gets to be a real problem, but he’ll absolutely have moments of spacing out or forgetting what he just did or why he entered a room. A quick prompt usually puts him back on his way. This is also why his office is littered in post-it notes and reminders now.

His home always ends up sort of a time capsule where the outside world sort of stops at the door, and everything’s mostly the same as it’s always been; TB’s just older and slower. But you can come in, and lunch and tea will be served at 3pm, just as it always has been, with chocolate or rose biscuits he made from scratch and one of several tea sets he switches between. You’ll sit on the same old sofas, and he’ll probably be mending or darning something while you sit there.

He’s probably having some ah. Complications from a shit-ton of wine and valium overindulgence over the years but the severity depends on how nice I feel and how much of his shit he deals with. But regardless, there’s always some degree of it.

He’s happier, addressing some of those old ghosts and finally, a little at a time, talking about Estella. But he’s so very sad, in an empty house with things as old as he is (and sometimes a partner who’s just as old). So yes he’s usually trying to convince Momo to bring over his kid. Maybe someone can convince Tibby to get a goddamn hobby already that involves taking care of children so he has somewhere to put his mother henning before he explodes.

It’s not perfect, but I think if he and Nizar get some form of communication and healing in their relationship, things usually come out okay for TB.

#tiberius poppyfeld #he’s the kind of little old man you can tell glares at Death every so often to make It recoil #yes he WILL get you to do things for him #he is but a Poor Old Man Who Forgets you see

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badoccultadvice · 4 years

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September 2020 Horrorscopes

Aries

What are you going to do with your life besides cry about it on Facebook chat? You’ve got to find a new way to express your rage at the uncaring void that is the universe. Get on Snapchat.

Your Omen for the Month - Every feather you see on the sidewalk means something. I just don’t know what.

Taurus

Oh hey, good to see you. We were looking through the classifieds earlier. Can you clean bird cages?

Your Omen for the Month - Look out for purple orcas. That would be pretty damn weird, right?

Gemini

You don’t get to solve problems for the rest of the month. Instead you will ask advice from Nextdoor and get to know your neighbors better.

Cancer

Try imitating your favorite muppet. This muppet will come to you in your dreams and tell you your real horoscope, but in indecipherable code.

Aquarius

Why does everyone keep screwing up around you? It’s a conspiracy to make sure you don’t grow complacent. One day, in the distant future, humanity will need you to write the definitive dictionary of all profanity, and you won’t be able to do it unless you’ve got proper ammo.

Leo

Why not take a break and enjoy the sunshine? Remember to apply a generous layer of sunblock. Also, some aloe vera to seal the moisture in. And some coconut oil for more moisturization. Then, stir in some powdered sugar, being careful not to form lumps. Next take your cake out of the fridge where it’s been cooling for the past 34 hours. You’ll have an easy time icing it now. Which is good because I mixed up the doc I was writing horoscopes in with the doc for cake recipes, and I don’t know what actually happens for you this month. Please enjoy the cake instead.

Virgo

It’s ok to open up sometimes. We all have our own inner tragedy. You can finally start talking about the rhinos. The goddamn, goddamn rhinos.

Libra

Take a page from someone else’s book. We suggest the auto repair section of the library--no one looks there.

Scorpio

Don’t feel bad if you skip out on social engagements. Nothing of real importance happens this month.

Sagittarius

When in doubt, try shuffling a deck of cards. Not to tell fortunes, I don’t know how to do that. It just makes you look really cool.

Capricorn

Stop being so negative. When someone asks you if you’d like to do something you don’t like, instead of just shutting them down, say: “Hey, that sounds like a great idea. Why don’t you try it with my alternate universe self? They’re free.”

Pisces

You know what they say: The more the merrier. Well guess what? For this month, as a Pisces, you get all 12 horoscopes at once! Having a hard time picking one? Try a D12!

Ophiuchus

You’re not a real sign, but the internet can’t stop talking about you. I know, it still seems pretty random, but I guess just go with it and maybe start a Twitch stream?

Your Omen for the Month - A stack of half-finished bullet journals falling off a shelf and reminding you of all your old abandoned hobbies.

-----

These are September’s Horrorscopes!

Want the omen for each sign, to be extra prepared for the month to come? Want an expanded version of each piece of advice that’s the length of Leo’s? (Of course Leo’s was the biggest.) Want more?

Check out BOA’s Patreon tier!

Cute image versions for you to share are popping up on Facebook and Instagram, and individual text posts to retweet are on Twitter!

Otherwise, see you next month with a new set of 12 horrorscopes and some omens!

PS: If any of these come true or become useful, feel free to let us know in the notes. I just write them all stream of consciousness, and after everything that’s happened this year, I’m ready to expect anything.

#bad occult advice #horoscopes #horrorscopes #astrology #witchcraft humor #witchcraft

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silvermuffins · 3 years

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NieR:Automata: oof, been a hot minute

Let me hit up two big topics before we dive in, for the maybe five people who will read this and the one of you who was awaiting this but already knows the deal: Firstly, the five month absence of anything from me was the result of work getting super busy (STOP MAKING YOUR MOVIES TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG, HOLLYWOOD, NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS THAT). My other hobbies also got busy. And, well, both getting the PS4 going and liveblogging as I play games took more spoons than I was left with. Things are finally kind of chill again, at least for now, AND the two cats who pilot my meaty contraption actually agree on what to do, so here I am! Secondly, my laptop's keyboard is kind of fucky and some specific keys ain't workin' right. They are: A D B N X , . / - and enter. We may see some typos, folks! Or some completely incomprehensible bits, won't that be fun!

ANYWAY, let's get into it!

haven't even started the game, have no memory of where i'm at so we're just gonna Go

man i need a less awk setup

oh right fuck i got new internet and need to hook my ps4 up to it

hot damn i actually remember the new wifi password. doot doot updates and shit, probably shoulda done this before i started the post but you know what, I have never once in my life not been a disaster so why would i suddenly start now

okay NOW we Go

see if i even remember how to play

probably not

i have sidequests to turn in!

gee this map really is a lot bigger than i got to explore the first time through the game....hmmm

being friends with the meeses now really do be like "/walks out of vending machine" "/suddenly, MOOSE"

this leadup suggests either i am going to have to fight Jackass or she is going to explode me

i am pretty sure there is lore somewhere in this game as to why there is no day/night cycle but fuck if i have found it

found the Cruel Blood Oath! I am excited for this sword purely because my bestie and I used it for something in some of our secret fandom shenanigans--

i feel like this "project gestalt" is going to be relevant somehow

anyway i found jackass and it feels weird because i think even without the whole....alternate runthrough thing we've technically met her before

9S sweetheart please don't try to lie, you're bad at it

speed star wont talk to me which is fine because i suck at his quest anyway

fuck you, sir star

oh right this sidequest was shaping up to make me feel weird in the moral bits, like several others have done

Type-E?

ooooh

oooooooooh

dont like that

creepy chant starts up!

............i have questions about if those she was ordered to kill were really deserters

..............

well. at least she DID pay me.

2B did not confirm she didn't know

time to have a go at Daddy Serves

......i regret typing that but fuck it it's staying in

so he has 10 levels on me but i fight well and have healing items

.....sir are you going to just, have me cutscene kill you, or do i gotta get through another hp bar first?

iiiiiit's the latter

anyway pascal gave me monies thank u pascal

....wait what was i supposed to do to progress plot again? where do i find that out??? is there a main quest tracker somewhere???

literally right on the front of the goddamned menu letty be less stupid

....i don't have much to say to this part, okay, i already did it as 2B

i sorta wish i could find a list of the sidequests that are only completable as 9S? and maybe of the hackable things. just for completion's sake.

my cat really wants snuggles but has something against bent knees so she won't lapcat

forgot a dead machine's head hatches into emil

wha

flashback to the forest king founding....

time to finish off the photographs sidequest! see if this one will make me feel uncomfy in the moral bits,

it did not!

but as usual it was pretty existential

....i am losing steam i think imma call it here tonight

#letty plays shit #letty plays nier automata #nier automata #palletred #for your reading pleasure #sidequest hell tho #dude what if 9S actually sees this extra stuff im getting this playthrough #and he just doesn't fuckin tell anyone #that would be neat to play with #i STILL have feelings about the forest king #kinda a short one tonight #but my gaming chair gets cold #am sleepy

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