#FibbyMusic

[theshedding]

No pretense, nothing profound here…just me bout to dig into this plate at the Kwanzaa celebration 😂.

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My heartfelt thanks to all my real friends for their love & support during this season. I am on the ‘long journey’ but I am taking things one day at a time.

“The outside is the same, but the inside is different.” 💕

C’mon 2024. ✨

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#Rogiérs #RogiérsFibby #fibbymusic #FibbyMusicGroup

[theshedding]

Family, Grief, Religion & Manners

So the day (or day after) my Mom died exactly two months ago, one of her favorite cousins of her age group called me to offer me his condolences. This cousin lives in Hampton, VA and is a retired, married professional living a solid middle class, boomer life. Yet he never called to check on me/her (except once in the hospital), never came to see about her or send a birthday card or flowers in the year and some months she was home.

Until she passed. Then he calls me; after initially offering condolences, he quickly launched into his own grief narrative around his mother some years back (centering himself), going on and on…and on.

Then he asks “Are you a Christian?” I say “No, we’ve had this conversation before” (re: we talked extensively about my non-belief in 2022, though he didn’t recall). He then begins to say, “Iook, I know you don’t believe, but I want you to know if you just call on the name of Jesus and say his name 3x every time you miss your mother, that feeling will go away!”

Stunned, I say nothing. He pauses and goes on. “Trust me, it will work! I promise you.”

He kept repeating this and centering his own story of grief-rather than saying something helpful or consoling. I could go on….but the point is, in the immediate aftermath of my mom’s death, I was being forced to engage his theological views and false gospel…even though he knew I was not a believer. In fact, BECAUSE I am not a believer. As the call drew to a close, I remained mostly silent, placated him a bit, made no promises and ultimately, politely ended the call.

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The point of this story? As I have been wrapping up sending the thank you cards to those who came to the service (or couldn’t come)-today I kept the promise I made to myself following the call with this cousin and decided to send him a very customized, special message. Let’s just say “it’s been in my spirit” to address him.

This is how I put my feelings into words:

Dear Cousin, I hope you have had a good holiday season and start to the new year. Thank you again for your condolences last November, and for the loving card you mailed.  I write however, both to acknowledge and draw attention to a great offense I took during your phone call in the immediate days following my mother's transition. Out of respect for the loving friendship the two of you shared, and my grief and shock, I listened to your evangelism over the phone but chose not to offer a rebuttal at the time.  However, following critical reflection I am afraid there is one. Saying "Jesus three times" to alleviate the grief of my mother (or any loved one) does not and did not "work". But it did serve as a crude and misplaced effort to wield power and privilege over someone who has politely already expressed to you their disbelief in the tenants or claims of your faith. Imposing Christian mantras upon someone who expressly does not share Christian beliefs -for a variety of reasons- is inappropriate, offensive, and unbecoming, in fact. You did this repeatedly over your phone call. Had I been Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Yoruba or of any other faith, I imagine you might have extended more courtesy and respect for my beliefs than what I listened to on the phone. But apparently to you, a secular humanist and atheist does not get afforded the same courtesy or consideration-even given the death of his mother some 48 hours prior.  The truth is, I am not only a non-Christian, but I am also a secular activist, congressional advocate for Black Freethought, and a Black, Queer secular community organizer on these issues specifically: religious freedom, interfaith advocacy, anti-religious stigma, and linkages to Black and minority communities in health, sexuality, education, etc...You show no interest in the "why" of my non-belief; only that I am a non-believer and effectively targeted me for a Christian conversion on a call where I was grieving the loss of my mother. Might you ever wish to understand why I am-or others like me are no longer a Christian (or religious, generally), please consult my work; one of which is entitled "Where We're Headed" (wwh.podbean.com), an award-winning narrative podcast that takes a deep dive into Black history covering the legacy and phenomena of religious dissent as political resistance all around the African diaspora. There I engage in these and other related topics for anyone interested, no matter their faith. My mother knew these things about me-my non-belief and religious skepticism were no secret. And though she kept her faith (and I respected it), she also celebrated my work and was proud of my activism and political and cultural advocacy.  Please know I have no interest in your conversion or de-conversion; I respect and support your choice to believe -or not- based upon your autonomy if nothing else. But like many before me raised a believer who then changed my mind about their faith tradition, so have I. The right to change one's mind about any faith tradition at any moment-given sufficient and/or empirical evidence against it, is a right I claim proudly for myself. Losing a parent is not an opportunity to affirm your beliefs- but an opportunity to show care, interest, comfort, and sensitivity to those who cared for, and showed up for that loved every day during their last years-even to those who are atheists.  Given those two options, an unequivocal "I'm so sorry for your loss" will always suffice for a better message of condolences. Sincerely, -R

Podcast: “Where We’re Headed” W: wwh.Podbean.com // Produced by Fibby Music Group, LLC  Sponsored by the DC Commission on the Arts & Humanities

I said what I said. This was wholly inappropriate; I will say what deserves to be said.

Besides, he didn't even come to the funeral.

[theshedding]

#FBF This pic was taken long ago that I still had a Hotmail account. ✨🥹✨ Patreon.com/Rogiers1 ___________ #rogiérs #RogiérsFibby #FibbyMusic (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClHQUQduKXj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[theshedding]

Impromptu live rendition “Come When You Call”. 

From “Life & Music: All of It.” 

(2008, Fibby Music Recordings - www.FibbyMusic.net)

[theshedding]

It’s a bit rarer these days but I can still sometimes be found singing in church. In this moment the occasion was a dear friend of mine who’s father transitioned a few years back and I was happy to pay tribute to him. He had a way of talking to me as a father would-and mine has been gone for quite some time now. Some lessons he shared I’ll always remember. 🕯 ____________ #Rogiérs #RogiérsFibby #singer #artist #musician #hammondorgan #organist #ministerofmusic #formerminister #malevocals #vocalist #locstyles #fibbymusic #flashbackfriday #alwaysremember #solovocal (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXk5X29OjzR/?utm_medium=tumblr

[theshedding]

It was ten years ago: 2011. I was in the midst of three major life transitions and was eagerly planning to resign myself from the music business (saving that for the memoire). But after crossing paths with an admirer turned A&R, I was urged not to “retire” but to make another album. Though reluctant at first, I did.

A year and a half later “theShedding” was completed. But it didn’t come out until 2014, two years later. This was due to dozens of setbacks and problems launching the single; a nearly catastrophic video shoot, thieving snakes for business partners, disgraceful & insulting “friends”, exhaustion with labels and “industry”, missing audio files and later crippling unemployment. I would stop singing for an entire year and lose my voice.

But something about “Good To Know You”- that no matter how bittersweet my reflections, it has always made me stop short of cursing the whole experience of making this record. And I believe it is because this song in every part was made with love, and in love.

I will forever be grateful and indebted to my friend Sparks-who though he didn’t realize it, picked me up from the lowest of lows and helped me get back my voice to sing. Al Copeland who brought me to Boston for this performance after a year of being away from everything & everyone. And special thanks to Thomas for shooting this video, and Robin, who have supported me since #Day1 more than 20 years ago. This song is my emotional masterpiece 🤩. It represents growth and gratitude-and no matter how bad things become, it ALWAYS reminds me of the magical time we had recording it live and the true meaning of loving yourself through change and disappointment. 💞

🎧 theShedding 

-available on iTunes, Bandcamp, Spotify & wherever music is available online.

[theshedding]

10+ years of shows, videos, BTS footage, minidisc and still producing new content every week! When you have a moment, please share, 👍🏿 & #Subscribe to my little page over on YouTube! 📺 🎬 youtube.com/RogiersFibby _________ #rogiérs #RogiérsFibby #FibbyMusic #subscribe #behindthescenes #footage #Minidoc #documentary #onstage #liveconcerts #subscribenow #singer #recordingartist #blackqueerartist #blackqueermagic #indieartist #indiemusic #indiemusician #malevocalist #singersongwriter #recordingartist #musicvideo (at Worldwide) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRXe7Y9BMRD/?utm_medium=tumblr

[theshedding]

Am I an asshole for posting this? 😂🤦🏿‍♂️ Came across this video on my YouTube feed earlier.

I mean, it IS true though...🤷🏿‍♂️ she has always had an amazing gift, but there’s this part:

[theshedding]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rogiérs Fibby (@rogiers1)

Check out all my 🎵 catalogue wherever (and whatever) you listen to music! *Search & *Follow: “Rogiérs” 🥰 ••••••••••••• #follow #newmusic #spotifyplaylist #tidalmusic #amazonmusic #itunesradio #newplaylist #musicislife #singersongwriter #rnbsinger #rnb #recordingartist #rogiérs #rogiérsfibby #rogiers #fibbymusic #singersofinstagram #portraitphotography #goodgirls #mitsue #kurious (at Spotify) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9R-YCEAFZp/?igshid=1hl209xxjfua4

[theshedding]

Glad to finally share this NEW COLLAB out this week with @from_p60 in Hungary 🇭🇺 and released on @irmarecordsit 🇮🇹 with a #remix by Sam Ruffillo 🌟🦋 •••••• “This #EP contains gems ranging from #downtempo to #deephouse very stylish. All embellished by the voices of #Rogiérs and #Virag and the remixes of #SamRuffillo and #GuidoNemola. #FromP60 is back! • Ebbene sì, volevamo stupirvi con effetti speciali e pensiamo di esserci riusciti grazie al talento di From P60! Questo EP racchiude tante piccole gemme musicali che vanno dal downtempo fino alla deep-house molto stilosa. Il tutto impreziosito dalle voci di Rogiers e di Virag e dai remixes di Sam Ruffillo e di Guido Nemola. Mettetevi le cuffie che From P60 è tornato!” ••••• #RogiérsFibby #fibbymusic #newrelease #newmusic #irmarecords #bologna #chillhouse #housebeats #deephousevibes #jazzzhouse #goodvibes #fenderrhodes #outnow #traxsource #itunesmusic #singersongwriter #recordingartist #vocalist #collaboration (at Music) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4SsqNTAM6U/?igshid=2wvyv4wo2i8f

[theshedding]

Backstage prep and show looks a few Friday’s ago for #SoulInTheCity @pizzaexpresslive (🇬🇧) 9.27.19... •••••••• #rogiérs #rogiérsfibby #fibbymusic #beforeandafter #recordingartist #WardrobeStyling #Locs #backstagesecrets #performance #backstagelife #singers #blacktalent #soulsingers #artistsoninstagram #hairandmakeup #vocalists #vocalistsofinstagram #pizzaexpresslive #flashbackfriday (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3fFLkGAZqk/?igshid=1bfqg44vou1il

[theshedding]

#ThrowbackThursday to 2008 summer tour stop 🇬🇧 at the #Hobgoblin with the debut album. •••••••••• #Rogiérs #RogiérsFibby #FibbyMusic #LifeandMusic #debutalbum #singersongwriter #IndieArtist #RecordingArtist #Headliner #TourLife #Worldwide #BlackSingers #InternationalArtist #OnStage #SoulSinger #NeoSoul #SoulJazz #RnBMusic #djset #PA (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7q51ijAw5P/?igshid=b7riy198o9it

[theshedding]

Get your TICKETS for my upcoming performance in London 🇬🇧 this September 2019 with the fabulous Janine Johnson!!! •••••••• Visit the “Tour” section: 👉🏿www.FibbyMusic.net👈🏿 for tickets! •••••• #rogiérs #RogiérsFibby #fibbymusic #pizzaexpresslive #holborn #soulinthecity #blacksingers  #collaboration #live #ticketsales #vocalists  #caribbeansingers #blacktalent #internationalartist #soulsingers #indiemusic #caa #musicislife #concerts #musiclovers #janinejohnson #bands #londonmusicscene #soulfestival (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1g8gGpA5L-/?igshid=m7u7lddcj7et

[theshedding]

Vibing with Chaka Khan this evening and a little vocalese. 🎧🎤🎼🎧 ••••••• #rogiérs #RogiérsFibby #fibbymusic #throughthefire #vocalistsofinstagram #musiclovers #musicislife #recordingartist #singers #rnb #soulsingers #souljazz https://www.instagram.com/p/B20-k7tASNv/?igshid=1r8i4wql442am

[theshedding]

Excited to announce this upcoming engagement in my old stomping grounds of London UK 🇬🇧 this September 2019 with the fabulous Janine Johnson!!! •••••••• Advance TICKETS Online at: https://www.pizzaexpresslive.com/whats-on/janine-johnson-soul-in-the-city-2 •••••• #rogiérs #RogiérsFibby #fibbymusic #pizzaexpresslive #holborn #soulinthecity #blacksingers #collaboration #live #vocalists #caribbeansingers #blacktalent #internationalartist #soulsingers #indiemusic #caa (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0iAHcDAHCn/?igshid=1mo1jncud2fge

[theshedding]

Music and Art is not about money, ambition, status or clout...it’s about SHARING and collective expression. Last Friday at #WilliamsburgMusicCenter I was so honored to share and (re)connect with friends within my artist family. It was truly a blessing to see y’all and enjoy your company. I’m thankful to still have them in my life. 💕🎧😘👊🏿 ••••••••• #rogiers #rogiérs #rogiérsfibby #fibbymusic #wmc #brooklynevents #livemusic #gentrification #blackownedbusiness #williamsburg #jazzclub #jazzvocals #vocalists #vocalistsofinstagram #blacksingers #soulsingers #indieartists #jmitchell (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0VP1aVAMdi/?igshid=1nnt2mdj6eaj