#Felix needs a big big hug
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nuclearbleu · 6 months ago
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You are Immolation
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Your tears are now ash, your flesh is now charcoal
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sugarcandydoll · 7 months ago
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my cure to anxiety is reading nate jacobs reader-inserts hehe ♡🎀
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jeonginsleftcheek · 20 days ago
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Dolly III
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~ part 3 of the Dolly series
pairing: lee felix x afab!reader
genre: smut, fluff, elements of horror
synopsis: as a rare doll collector, a unique sex doll piques your interest and you have to own it.
wc: 8.2k
warnings: mentions of bruises, blood and needles, some violence, haunted dolls
nsfw warnings: grinding, praise, lots of kissing, body worship, handjob, cum tasting, oral (m and f), unprotected sex, creampie
~ divider by @bunnysrph
"Good morning, Matilda. Prudence, how do you do? Ah, Mr. Avery. Looking particularly swell today." the dolls stare at you with their big eyes and smiling faces while you greet them just like every day.
Whistling about the kitchen as you prepare breakfast, your life companions are always there to listen to you and bring you comfort.
"You know, we have an exciting new family member arriving to us today. I'm expecting all of you to act polite and give him a warm welcome to his new home." you point your spatula at the dolls that were decorating the kitchen.
"I mean all of you!" you yell out, chuckling after.
"We all know what happens to naughty dolls. You don't want to experience the same scorching punishment they did." you smirk at them and though they are usually silent, it seems like they're even more quiet now.
Alive in your mind, they've heard you and are now shivering in fear but anticipating the arrival of the newest addition to your precious collection.
You really do expect them to be on their best behavior.
Not long after breakfast, your package arrives.
You practically rip open the huge box and tear off all the covers and bubble wrap, throwing them carelessly behind you.
"Oh!" you gasp.
"My my, you're just such a beauty, aren't you?" you smile at the doll staring at you from the box.
"You look like a little angel." your hands cup his cheeks.
"So soft. So sweet. You're going to be perfect for us." you look at him fondly. "Welcome home, Felix."
You lean down to kiss his cute nose, observing the freckles on his face.
He is just stunning, every little crease on him looks perfect and most importantly; he looks alive.
Yes, people might be creeped out by your love of dolls, collecting them, playing with them and hanging out with them but you never cared.
They were everything to you ever since you were a little girl so you spent so much money on getting the most rare and unique dolls you could, even getting a few ones that were supposedly haunted.
The thought of that exhilirated you, and you were convinced all of them were alive especially after you'd find them in different places or hear them giggle and whisper.
You loved that, respected the dolls and their needs but you always let them know that you were the head of the house.
It was going to be the same with this special doll.
As soon as you saw the ad, you wished you could buy all eight of them and have the rarest and craziest collection ever but they were so expensive so you settled on getting only Felix.
He just seemed so sweet and innocent to you, out of all 8 of them, you thought he looked the most doll-like and would go perfectly with your porcelain doll collection; just one of many you had.
You didn't care much that he was a sex doll, but seeing him now up close made you understand the appeal for that too.
You grabbed the manual to skim over it, not really caring about what it says, you were more interested in the letter that was in Felix's hand.
You slowly picked it up and opened it.
Hello,
my name is Felix and I am your comforting doll.
I love cuddles, hugs and kisses, sweets (especially chocolate). And videogames!
Please always keep me close to you as I love to feel your warmth, and no matter what you do with me always end it with a sweet kiss.
"You're a little cuddlebug, hm?" you pout at him. "You're just becoming cuter by the second!"
Finding another paper tucked in the pocket of his jeans, you pull it out and open it too.
My darling!
I'm ready for our first cuddling session!
I hope you bring fluffy pillows and enjoy our first night together.
"Ah! So adorable!" you squeal. "Let me introduce you to everyone." you add, quickly grabbing him and lifting him up.
"Fam, this is Felix, a very special doll. I expect you give him a warm welcome and help him feel at ease here. This is now his home as much as it is yours and I will not tolerate any sour behavior!" you say.
Of course, it's quiet but you know that they've understood you.
One of the ventriloquist dolls lips open and you chuckle.
"Yes, Parker. I know he's pretty. Now close your mouth or you'll catch flies." you chuckle, standing up and making your way to the doll.
With your fingers on its chin, you gently close the wooden doll's mouth.
"Now, where were we? Ah, yes! That outfit is atrocious. But don't worry, sweet Felix. I already prepared clothes that I know will fit your pretty face perfectly." you smirk, hoisting Felix in your arms and lifting him up.
Once you make it to your bedroom, you gently lay him down on your fluffy bed and open your wardrobe, looking at the neatly hung up outfits you had ordered online right after ordering Felix.
The dolls on the shelves all stare at him as you whistle a tune, picking out his outfit.
"This should do it." you grab one of them and make your way towards your bed.
"Let's get you out of this... whatever it is." you grip the hem of his shirt, slowly lifting it up and gasping when you notice his abs.
"Interesting." you poke his stomach and then his side. "I bet you're ticklish." you add, sliding his arms out of the shirt and tossing it aside.
"Oh!" you gasp again, noticing a few freckles on his chest. "You're so precious, Felix." your finger traces his beauty marks gently, almost making you hypnotized.
You snap out of it and unbutton his jeans, pulling the zipper down and feeling your face flush when you realize your touch had aroused the doll.
"Did you get excited, precious dolly?" you giggle at him, before looking around at the other dolls who were fixated on Felix.
"It is rude to stare." you chastise them, but they continue looking as you slide his pants down and toss them on the floor.
"I think you need help with this, Lixie." you chew on your lip as you hook your fingers in his boxers.
As soon as you slide them down, a wave of embarassment washes over you as you stare at his hard cock, glistening at the tip.
It seems that there are a few freckles on his length too and your thighs press together involuntarily.
It's been a while since you've been with someone, most people you tried to date couldn't understand your obsession with dolls and there was no way you were going to choose them over your doll family.
But, seeing that Felix was a doll and a sex doll at that, you didn't see harm in using him for what he's made for.
"We can help each other, but you can forget about putting that inside me." you warn, lifting your dress up and pushing your panties down.
"This will have to suffice, my little Lixie." you giggle as you throw your leg over him and press your wet core against his cock.
Slowly, you start grinding against him, your arousal coating his cock and balls, little whimpers leaving your mouth as you close your eyes and throw your head back.
It really has been so long, and Felix is so warm and pliant, laying under you taking it.
You speed up as you feel your high building up, you look back down at him and notice that his cheeks are rosy, making him look even cuter.
You whimper as you stare at his pretty face, his tip catching onto your clit a few times and almost slipping inside.
"Don't be naughty, Lixie. Or I'll have to punish you." you whine as his cock catches on your entrance, the tip twitching inside you.
It's as if something flashes in his eyes and you whimper loudly, cumming all over his cock and riding your high against his throbbing erection.
"You didn't cum yet?" you pout, remembering there was something about that in the manual.
"Ah, yes, you like having your hair pulled on." you smirk and continue grinding against him, your fingers now tangled in his hair.
"Cum for me, my angel." you pull on his hair and his cock twitches against your wetness before he explodes on his abs, the warm liquid pooling around his belly button and making you more wet as you grind on him once again, his cum smeared on your cunt.
You look at him as you stop your movements, your heart beating fast.
"Look what a mess we made, Lixie." you shake your head before getting up and heading to the bathroom, the dolls chilling in your room still with their eyes fixed on Felix.
You come back after cleaning yourself up to clean him too, so you can dress him in the clothes you bought him.
It's a bit of a struggle but you get a feeling that Felix really wants to cooperate.
"There, now you look like a real angel." you smile as you lean back, satisfied with the white loose pants and the white shirt, embroidered with golden flowers.
"I have some work to do on you yet." you sit him up and then grab some of your makeup.
You gently work on his face, putting some light gold eyeshadow on his eyelids, a few sparkles under his eyes and he seems to be pouting.
"You think I forgot to give you a sweet kiss, don't you?" you smirk. "I didn't, don't worry."
You finish up on his eye makeup then grab a pink lipstick, opening it up and applying it on your lips first.
"A finishing touch." you lean in, holding his face before you press your lips into his heart shaped ones, kissing him gently.
You giggle as you lean away, removing the smeared lipstick and repairing what stayed on his lips with your finger as he practically stares at you.
His eyes seem shiny and warm, something deep and dark inside them too and you can't look away.
"My sweet Lixie. So good for me." you kiss his nose and then his cheeks, making sure to kiss his pretty freckles.
You almost get completely lost in him, forgetting about the dolls watching you until one of them falls down onto the floor with a loud thud, making you jerk away from Felix.
"Jonathan! You startled me!" you reprimand the wooden doll before standing up and coming to it.
You take him in your arms and look at him.
"Are you jealous?" you ask as you gently put him back in his place, fixing his shirt and hat.
"Don't worry, I love you all equally." you pat the doll's head before turning to look at Felix.
You have a feeling that might change soon.
-
You take Felix to your workshop, a small room where you dedicate your time to repair dolls, sew their torn clothes or make them new outfits, sometimes even making a few dolls of your own.
"Welcome to my workshop, Lixie. I spend lots of time here so I guess you will too. Now, I should've started with this, but you... distracted me." your eyes fall down to his crotch before you look up at him.
"I will make sure you have everything you need and I will always treat you well, but of course I expect that to be reciprocated. Which means you are to behave well in this house, listen to what I say and be good to your brothers and sisters. If you ever do something to break the rules, there will be repercussions. And trust me, you don't want to get on my bad side." you wave your finger at the doll and it seems like he's listening intently, his eyes seemingly fearful as you sit across from him, making eye contact.
"Don't be scared, Lixie. I have a feeling that you're a good boy and that you'll be obedient. We will have no problems, you and I. I'll even reward your good behavior." you smirk at him, caressing his soft cheeks.
You lean in to press a kiss on his lips before you turn to your table and start working on your broken dolls.
Felix stares at you from where you left him, his hands tucked in his lap and eyes fixed on your hunched frame.
You almost forget about his presence as you concentrate on your work, every detail you sew into their clothes, the love you pour into them, in a way giving them a soul of their own.
Your hands seemed to dance as you kept working, until you felt a sharp pain in your neck.
"Ow!" you mutter and sit up, realizing you've been hunched over for too long, your shoulders tense, pain throbbing in your neck. "Time for a break." you announce, your stomach growling after that.
"And food, I guess." you turn to Felix, finally acknowledging his existence.
He looks to you like he wants to say something, even though he is sitting still.
"What is it, Lixie?" you lean in closer, looking right into his eyes.
He stays silent.
"Ah, you're shy. You'll come around. I'll wait for you to show yourself to me." you smirk, kissing his nose, your fingertips tracing the pretty freckles on his face.
After giving him a little kiss, you take him to your garden, which was thankfully surrounded by a tall wooden fence, hiding you away from the rest of the world.
"Sit here and I'll be right back." you sit him down on one of the fancy chairs, brushing away the hair that fell into his face.
You bring a few of your other dolls, sitting them down on the other chairs, bringing all of them a set of china; plates, cups and everything.
It's all themed with pink flowers, making everything look even more proper and fancy.
"Socialize." you wave your hand before disappearing into the kitchen, preparing a quick lunch for yourself.
You walk out into the garden some 15 minutes later with a plate of food for yourself and a glass of juice.
"I hope you're being nice to Felix." you say as you sit down, eyeing the four dolls sitting around the table, Felix being exactly across from you.
He looks a tad timid, and you're 100% sure that the expressions on his face keep changing, you know you're not just imagining it because other dolls you own have changed expressions or positions, some even giggled and whispered.
With your doll experience, Felix doesn't scare you, quite the opposite, you're waiting for him to start talking.
You make small talk with your dolls, about this beautiful day, how sunny and warm it is, how good lunch turned out.
As you continued talking, suddenly one of the cups started shaking and you look at the porcelain doll sitting next to Felix.
"Jenevieve. Don't do that! Behave." you warn but it's too late, the cup flies right into Felix's side, hitting him hard before crashing onto the floor, pieces of it flying everywhere.
Anger bubbles up in your veins as you take a deep breath in.
"You little bitch." you almost growl at the porcelain doll before standing up abruptly and grabbing a fistful of her hair.
"That's it, you're getting punished!" you seethe, walking back into the house as you carry her by her hair all the way down to the basement.
"You're gonna think long and hard about your behavior. And after you do, you will apologize to Felix. Like it or not he is family now." you say before laying the doll in a box and locking it.
"I know you're claustrophobic. So this will be a nice lesson for you never to misbehave again." you smirk before making your way back upstairs.
You quickly run to Felix, gasping when you notice a single tear running down his cheek.
"I'm sorry, angel." you wipe it away quickly, kissing his cheek after.
"Let's see the damage." you undo his shirt and sure enough there is a bruise forming on his side.
"For this, Jenevieve will get a week in the dungeon." you say angrily, your fingertips brushing against the bruise. "I'll take care of you, sweet Lixie. I promise that'll never happen again."
-
The same evening, you brought Felix to your bed, stripping him out of the shirt so you could take care of his bruise.
You flip through the manual seeing the warning about not bruising the doll and anxiety washes over you, hoping he wasn't now damaged in some irreparable way.
You rummage through your bathroom cabinet, finding a cream that was used for bruises, skipping back to Felix.
"Well, you're warm, you can blush, bruise and cry. And... cum." you giggle quietly. "So I guess this would help you?" you purse your lips before taking some cream out and gently applying it on his bruise.
"There-" you pause, seeing a bulge growing in his pants. "Really? You're so sensitive." you tsked, your hands on his thighs, gripping the flesh shortly.
You look at Felix's face and melt.
He's blushing again, his cheeks rosy followed by the tips of his ears becoming red.
"You're such a cutie." you coo at him. "But you're gonna have to wait a bit. I have to take off your make up and brush your hair. I want you to be all comfy in bed." you nod to yourself, getting up to retrieve makeup wipes and a brush.
You start gently removing his makeup, leaving little kisses on his cheeks and nose, pressing your lips into his plush ones.
After cleaning him up, you take the brush and sit him up more comfortably so you can start brushing his hair.
"Oh you really like this." your eyes widen as you notice him twitching in his pants. "Like your hair played with, my pretty angel?" you twirl a strand of his soft hair between your fingers.
"Give me three minutes." you hurry to your bathroom to get ready for bed before skipping back to Felix excitedly.
"I'm here sweetie." you grab his face and crash your lips against his.
The way he was made, his lips seemed to be kissing back, so soft and sweet against yours.
You kissed him for some time, already addicted to his taste before you started leaving kisses on his jaw, all the way to his ear.
He only seemed to become even more red, the color seeping onto his neck and chest.
"My shy Lixie." you giggle, leaving kisses on the column of his neck.
He feels so soft and smells so sweet, making you want to do this forever, just kiss him everywhere as he lays and takes it.
You liked being in control, it made you feel powerful as your hands roamed all over his body, his skin so soft like a baby's, you couldn't stop touching him.
Your lips covered every inch of Felix as you kissed his chest, his arms, his stomach, his hands.
Taking your sweet time to worship him.
You slid his pants off, getting up to put them on the chair where you've already left the shirt.
Felix was blushing profusely and he was very warm as you touched him, his cock throbbing, the tip red and angry, glistening with his wetness.
"You're working yourself up, dolly. You need to calm down a little or I won't give you what you want." you smirk, sliding your hands on his supple thighs, up to his balls where you lightly grazed them with your fingertips.
His cock twitched in protest, his face even redder now.
"If you act naughty, I'll leave you like this all night. Don't test me, my little prince."
Felix's lips seemed pouty at that and you waited a little, only gently caressing his smooth arms, the redness of his face and body subsiding slowly until only his cheeks were rosy like before.
"Good boy." his cock leaked and twitched at the praise.
"Ah, my dolly likes to be praised?" you giggled delightfully, smoothing out his hair.
"I'll keep that in my mind." you winked at him, fingertips grazing against his length before you finally wrapped your hand around him.
"Good boys get rewards." you coo at him, thumbing at his wet slit.
Felix's ears become red again.
"I'll take care of you, sweetie. Don't worry." you whisper as you lean down, leaving kisses all over his skin as you start moving your hand.
You play with him for as long as you want to, torturing his cock as you alternate between fast and slow movements, at times using only one hand and then both or fondling his balls, your lips never leaving his heated skin.
You explore him with your tongue, swirling it around his nipples and noticing how he got even more wet because of it.
"So sensitive. Cute." you kiss his lips, your hand tangling in his hair.
"You wanna cum, dolly? Ah, I wish I could hear you beg, I bet you'd sound so sweet all desperate for me." you coo at Felix, gripping his hair and pulling it back as you jerk him off faster.
He explodes all over your hand and himself, making you gasp from the amount that spurted out, curiosity taking you over as you scoop some of it on your finger, licking it up.
"Mm. Are you strawberry flavored?" you chuckle, swirling your finger in his cum to lick at it again.
"Maybe cotton candy?" you giggle again before kissing him sweetly.
You clean Felix up and cozy up to him, curling your body around his as you wrap your arms around him.
You hope that from that day on, everything goes smoothly; without any more incidents.
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The following week passed by just as you expected, with no incidents, the dolls now on their best behavior after they've witnessed Jenevieve being dragged down to the basement.
Felix became an obsession of sorts, you just couldn't keep your hands off of him.
You've never owned a doll like him, and to say that you're infatuated is an understatement.
Constantly kissing him and touching him made you equally as aroused as it did him.
You wanted him in every way, but you didn't want to use all his capabilities on your own, instead you wished he'd snap out of it and do it by himself, participate and react to your touches more than just heating up, blushing or twitching.
You felt sad every day you had to leave for work, leaving Felix alone with the other dolls.
You warned them not to try anything or you'd burn them to a crisp.
But as you finally let Jenevieve out, hoping she had learned her lesson, you had no idea how it would actually make all hell break loose.
"Now, Jenevieve I hope you're sorry for what you've done and that you understand why it was wrong. This can never happen again, okay?" you told her before putting her back in her place.
You sat Felix on your bed, caressing him and kissing him for some time.
"Be a good boy, Lixie." you kiss his forehead.
"And all of you too. Behave or else." you give Felix one last kiss before leaving the house.
It was obvious that some of your dolls felt neglected.
This was their home and in their eyes Felix was an intruder they had to get rid of.
He was taking up all your time, soaking up all your attention, getting all your love.
There were dolls that didn't agree, they liked Felix and thought he was sweet just like you did.
Some were just scared to share their opinion, afraid of being locked in the basement, smashed to pieces or burned into ashes.
The neglected dolls had come up with a plan.
They were going to destroy Felix so by the time you come home, there is nothing left to salvage.
-
"I'm home!" you announced cheerfully as you entered your house, a bag of groceries secured in your arm.
Whistling, you made your way to the living room but stopped dead in your tracks when you saw a few drops of red liquid on the floor, something that looked like blood.
You stood in shock for a moment before dropping the bag of groceries on the floor, as they made a loud thud sound, the apples you bought rolling around your living room.
With a gasp, you started running up the stairs, all of them painted in little red dots, anxiety building up with each step you took.
When you reached your bedroom, a shriek escaped your lips, echoing off of the walls.
Felix was thrown on the floor, his body and face bruised and cut up, the outfit you dressed him in torn into pieces.
What was most concerning was the blood dripping out of his wounds.
Your heart started beating fast in fear.
Noticing Jenevieve standing in the corner together with some of your other dolls made your blood boil, your body starting to shake with rage as your eyes blurred with tears.
With a loud growl as rage took you over completely, you ran downstairs to grab your sledgehammer.
"I told you. I told you to behave!" you screamed at the culprits, lifting up your weapon and smashing the first doll that was nearest to you.
"How could you do this?" you cried, continuing to pound your sledgehammer on the dolls, damaging your wall and furniture in the process.
Jenevieve was last and you smirked at her.
"Goodbye, bitch." you said before smashing her into pieces, the sound of porcelain breaking was so satisfying in your ears.
"Do any of you have anything to add?" you looked at the other dolls coldly, the ones that didn't dare move from their designated place.
"Didn't think so." you added, fresh tears sliding down your cheeks as your eyes caught sight of Felix again.
"Shit!" you exclaimed, falling down to your knees and grabbing his face gently.
He was crying.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I left you alone with them Lixie! I will make this right, I promise!" you cried as you held onto him.
You ran to your bathroom to grab a first aid kit, running back to Felix as fast as you could.
You tended to his wounds, tears falling down your face onto his cheeks and mixing with his own.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." you kept whispering as you took care of him, worry growing inside you when Felix became colder to the touch.
"I think this one needs stitches." you noticed a gash on his hand. "How did they do this? I'll never let anyone hurt you again, Felix."
That night, you brought Felix to your workshop, sewing up his wound and hoping that he would heal just like the bruise from his first day here was healing.
You didn't want to look at your dolls, opting to take Felix to the guest room, the only empty room in the house, getting him all comfy in your fluffiest blankets before you joined him under the covers.
"I love you a lot Lixie. Even though it's only been a week. You're my favorite doll ever." you kissed his cheek before cuddling him, holding him close to your body as you felt him warm up.
A smile spread on your face.
He's going to be okay.
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Over the next few weeks, Felix's wounds have healed nicely.
You've asked to work from home so you could be with him all day.
It was quiet in your house, all of the other dolls were now even more afraid of you, after your little sledgehammer revenge.
You cuddled Felix a lot, holding him close whenever you could, playing with his soft hair and doting on him the entire time.
His face seemed to change throughout that time, from an expression of sadness and pain back to happiness and his rosy cheeks.
Once he was fully healed, you decided to bake a chocolate cake to celebrate his recovery.
Of course, he was in the kitchen with you, watching you work on the sweet treat.
You had more than one sweet treat in mind, you thought, giggling to yourself as you swiped some chocolate cream on your finger.
"Mm. So tasty." you smirked, looking directly at Felix.
"You wanna taste?" you took some more, coming closer to him and pressing your finger on his lips.
"Come on, I know you want it." you smirked. "I'll let you taste something even sweeter later."
He didn't react in the way you wanted him to, but his face was quickly becoming red.
Sighing, you leaned back and continued making the cake.
Once it was finished, you decided to let it cool down and take Felix to your living room.
"Look at that. I didn't even touch you." you giggled, the bulge in his pants evident.
He was finally all well and healed so you let yourself explore his body with your hands and lips.
It didn't take long for you to strip him, your eyes glued to his pretty cock, all hard for you.
"You make me wanna do things I usually don't." you sighed, gently stroking him.
"But you've been so good for me, so I gotta reward you." you laid Felix down, kneeling between his legs.
You kissed his thighs, lightly biting into his skin and noticing how he twitched at that.
You wanted to taste him and have him in your mouth which is something you were usually uncomfortable with but Felix made you want to do all those things you thought you never would.
"My good boy." you praise him, your lips pressing gentle kisses into his leaking cock.
Felix's body flushed as you kept kissing and licking at him, your hands sliding slowly on his soft skin, mapping him out.
You kissed his tip, tasting his pre-cum, sweet like cotton candy and you couldn't wait anymore as you wrapped your lips around him.
Your tongue tingled from the sweet taste as you swirled it around his head, a moan escaping your lips and making him leak even more.
Felix's fingers twitched on his side and your eyes widened a little as you took more of him in.
Hoping he would move again, you started bobbing your head faster, taking him in deeper, moaning around him and creating vibrations around his throbbing cock.
His fingers twitched a few more times, every time his tip hit the back of your throat it seemed to make him move.
Determined to snap him out of whatever trance he was in you gave it your all, drooling around his length as you sucked him harder, your hand squeezing his sensitive balls.
Taking you by surprise, Felix came, filling your mouth up with his cum and making you sputter as you didn't expect it.
You managed to swallow some, the rest making a mess out of his crotch.
You knew he was supposed to cum only after you pull on his hair so how did this happen?
Now, you had an even bigger inkling that Felix was alive.
A smirk spread on your lips as you stared at his reddened face.
"D'you want a taste, angel?" you giggled, your hand between your legs.
"Yeah, you do." you added, gathering some of your juices before bringing them up to his lips.
You pushed your finger in his mouth, making him taste you.
"I know you like that, my pretty prince."
You gave him a few kisses before cleaning him up.
"We can eat some cake tomorrow." you told him as you laid him down in your bed, the guest room now becoming your room.
As you cuddled up to Felix that night, you had no idea that he would finally wake up while you slept.
-
Felix's eyes widened as he fought for breath, his heart beating hard against his chest.
He gripped at the sheets, fisting them in pain as his whole body hurt.
You were sleeping peacefully on your side, facing him and for some reason he was terrified.
Felix saw what you did when you got angry so he didn't want to upset you in any way even though you treated him well, so well that he knew he loved you as much as you loved him.
But with confusion and fear running through his veins, he decided not to wake you up, instead he got up quietly in search of food and water.
He knew that if he took something from the fridge, you'd know he was awake so Felix made his way to your pantry, his feet padding on the floor quietly.
On his way there, his knee collided into a chair and he cursed quietly, his eyes widening as he looked back to the direction of your room.
Felix gulped, listening for some time and after deciding it was safe he entered the pantry.
He found some cookies and in his hunger he devoured most of them, accidentally leaving the wrapper and the crumbs behind.
After drinking some water, Felix returned to bed, deciding to let you sleep and maybe tell you that he's alive tomorrow.
-
Waking up the next day, you started the morning like any other, kissing Felix's sweet face.
But, something was different this morning.
His eyes were closed.
"Hm." you looked at him and he seemed to be breathing but it was so early in the morning that you thought you had dreamed it up.
Suddenly, your phone rang, scaring you out of your thoughts.
"Hi, Jackie!" it was your childhood best friend, the only person who tolerated your obsession with dolls.
She didn't mind it much and she loved you for who you were, the two of you grew up together, going through all the ups and downs with each other.
"Hey, y/n! I'm in town this weekend so I thought we could catch up." she said cheerfully.
"Of course, I'd love to!" you sat up, momentarily forgetting about Felix as you made your way to the kitchen with a smile on your face.
"Great, I can't wait to share all the tea I have." she said and you giggled before noticing something weird.
There was a glass you didn't touch on the counter, and your pantry door was open so you walked towards it as Jackie yapped in your ear.
As you turned the light on, you noticed half eaten cookies on the floor, the wrapper pulled apart seemingly with teeth.
"What? Do I have rats in my house?" you chuckled.
"I'm not a rat." a deep voice said behind you and you shrieked, turning around, your phone almost slipping out of your hand.
"Y/n? What's wrong?" Jackie asked.
"I'm gonna have to call you back." you said as you hung up, staring at Felix as he stood before you with his eyes wide, a timid look on his face, his cheeks rosy and lips pouty.
His hands were clasped together as he played with his fingers.
"F-Felix?" your eyes welled up with happy tears.
"It's me." he said, the depth of his voice shocking you once again, you didn't expect your sweet angel would have such deep vocal chords.
"Oh!" you laughed in delight, throwing your arms around him and hugging him tightly.
Felix gasped at your onslaught of love as you squeezed him so tight that you knocked his breath out of his lungs.
"I knew you'd come to me eventually, my angel." you gently took his face in your hands, your thumbs moving back and forth on his cheeks slowly.
"Y-you're not mad at me?" he asks cutely, blinking at you.
"No, no, not at all! Though, you left a mess." you shake your head and his face becomes redder.
"I'm sorry, I will clean it up." he says timidly and you giggle.
"Oh, you are so adorable!" cuteness aggression takes you over completely as you pinch his cheeks and kiss his plump lips repeatedly, making him giggle.
His stomach growled and he looked at you embarassingly, his face red and you chuckled.
"You need a proper meal." you said, deciding to make the classic eggs and bacon combo.
You took his hands and led him to the chair, sitting him down.
"Let me help you." Felix beamed at you.
"It's okay, Lixie. I like taking care of you."
"I know, but I want to do the same for you."
You melted instantly, kissing him again, it was hard to be apart from him.
The two of you made breakfast together, albeit clumsily as he was still confused about everything.
After eating, the two of you sat in the garden, you with your cup of coffee and Felix with his cup of hot cocoa, two slices of the chocolate cake you made last night served on the fine china.
"What made you wake up?" you asked.
"I- I'm not sure. I tried doing it before, I only managed to move my fingers or toes slightly, sometimes my eyes. It was honestly like I was imprisoned in my own body. I wanted to- to reciprocate, hold you properly and take care of you like you do to me." he said, looking away as he blushed once more.
"Ah, you are so sweet my prince. Just how I imagined. I knew you were alive, I was just hoping and waiting for you to break out of the hypnotized state."
"You think I was hypnotized?" Felix tilts his head at you.
"Do you remember anything before coming here?" you ask, reaching out to touch his hand gently.
"I remember this big cold room. And water. So much water. And there were others but I can't remember their faces. We were all there in the big room. There was a voice talking to us, I- I don't know what it said. But I think it was giving out commands." the more Felix talked about his past, the more worked up he was getting, his hands shaking, a thin sheen of sweat covering his forehead.
"Hey, hey it's okay. You don't have to tell me everything right away. It must be upsetting." you quickly stand up, holding his face and caressing him.
"I don't wanna go back there."
"You won't." you smile, sitting in his lap.
Felix freezes, his eyes wide and lips falling open, his face taking on the familiar rosy color.
"Y/n." he looks up at you cutely and you lean in, kissing him lovingly.
"You're no longer just my dolly. You're my boyfriend now." you giggle and he smiles the most beautiful bright smile you have ever seen.
"Oh! I am?"
"Mhm." you nod and lean in to kiss him again, your tongue licking at his bottom lip and he opens his mouth, letting you explore him properly now that he's awake, your hand tangled in his soft hair.
"I love you, Lixie." you kiss the tip of his nose.
"I love you y/n. Thank you for everything. For being so good to me and helping me heal when those dolls..." he shivers.
"Of course. Sorry if I went a little crazy. I know I can be insane sometimes. It's just when I saw you like that on the floor, I felt my heart break. I needed to smash them into pieces so they can never hurt you again."
"No, I'm glad you did that. If I could, I'd fight back."
"I know you would." you smile, shifting on his lap as you caress his face.
Scooting closer to him, you feel him press into you.
"I'm sorry." Felix whimpers, looking everywhere but at you. "I know you don't want to... you know."
"I do. Now that you're awake." you nod and his eyes widen.
"Oh?"
"Let's go inside." you giggle at his shocked expression.
"W-what do I do?" Felix looks at you unsurely as you sit on your bed. "Usually you're in charge..."
"You can take the lead, angel. Whatever you had in mind all this time, you can do now." you smile at him, taking his hands in yours to reassure him.
"I wanna worship you like you do to me." he blushes profusely and you chuckle.
"Of course." you say, the two of you starting with loving kisses, layers of clothing slowly coming off.
Felix lays you down gently, looking panicked for a moment, like he doesn't know what to start with, and as his eyes travel all over your body, the redness on his face spreads to his ears and neck.
Ultimately, he decides to do what you did, leaning down to kiss your neck first.
You throw your head back, giving him space as his plump lips gently travel on your skin.
You close your eyes as Felix's worships you, his lips so sweet on your hot skin, his hands caressing you gently as he slides them on your arms, then to your waist and tummy before slowly going up to cup your breasts.
"L-Lixie." you whimper as he plays with your nipples before leaning in to kiss them, his tongue darting out to swirl around the sensitive bud before his pretty lips wrap around it, sucking gently.
"Ah!" you moan, arching into him, arousal dripping from your core.
Felix whimpers when his finger touches your warmness, feeling how wet you got just for him.
He finds your clit, gently rubbing it in circles with his fingertips as he continues sucking on your breasts.
"Want you." you whine and he lifts up.
"C-can I taste you?" he asks, licking his lips and you nod eagerly.
Felix leaves kisses on your tummy all the way down to your core where he presses his lips against your clit.
"Mm, angel." you moan, making him moan too.
His tongue darts out as he starts licking at you and your eyes roll back.
He groans into your core, already addicted to your taste as he spreads you with his thumbs, pushing his tongue in eagerly, as deep as he can.
Your legs tremble a little, your hand ending up in his hair as you hold him down.
Felix keeps grunting into you, his deep voice sending vibrations through you as he laps you up, his button nose pressing perfectly against your clit.
Being sensitive, you can't hold it in too long as you explode, your juices spilling on his lips and chin.
"You taste so sweet." he looks up at you, licking at his lips.
"Come here, I need you." you make grabby hands at him and Felix giggles as he slides up, slotting himself perfectly between your thighs.
"Are you sure?" he asks and you nod.
"Please."
"Anything you want, darling." Felix whispers.
You feel his tip caress your folds and you whine, wrapping your legs around him as he sinks in, slowly opening you up just for him.
You embrace each other, your bodies moving together as Felix makes love to you until you're crying and trembling in his hold, your nails digging into his back as he finally releases his warm cum inside you, filling you up to the brim.
That night, Felix got to embrace you just how he always wanted.
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The next few days pass by in perfect bliss.
You and Felix are attached at the hip, always together, always in each other's arms, lips constantly touching.
You took him out on so many dates and he loved being outside, seeing other people enjoying their day too, feeling the warm sunlight on his face, the gentle breeze caressing his hair.
You'd never been this happy before, never having someone who had seen you at your worst and still loved you for who you are.
Felix also loved helping you around the house, giving you massages and doing everything he can to make you feel comfortable.
He even told you of the dolls who were always nice to him so you'd take them out in the garden to hang out with you and Felix on a nice picnic date.
Even your friend Jackie was happy for you, first asking you to explain how the hell did he go from a doll to a human.
"So, basically, you were alive the whole time?" she scratched her head, as the three of you sat in your garden.
"I guess I was."
"So, do you remember how you were made? Like, are you human or?" Jackie asks, her eyes widened in wonder.
"I honestly have no idea. As I told y/n, I only remember that there was a room and that I was suspended in water."
"It's all so peculiar." you shake your head. "But it doesn't matter. What matters now is that Felix is alive and he is safe here." you kiss his cheek and he blushes instantly.
"If you're happy y/n, I'm happy too." Jackie smiles at you.
"Thanks, J." you giggle.
The rest of the afternoon Jackie fills you in with all the drama that happened in her life since you last saw each other, both you and Felix entertained after getting a scoop.
That night, Felix falls asleep quickly and you stay up just for some time, caressing his face and admiring his beauty.
"Good night, my sweet Lixie." you kiss his forehead before nuzzling into him and falling asleep.
Felix's night is filled with nightmares, after opening the topic of his past with Jackie today, memories started flooding in his mind.
People in white suits, their faces unrecognizable. A huge ceiling with big silver pipes. Water tanks with bodies floating inside them all in fetal position. Connected to a machine with a steady beeping sound echoing off of the walls.
The feeling of dread creeping up his spine.
Felix woke up with a loud gasp, covered in sweat, his heart almost leaping out of his chest.
"Lixie? What's wrong?" you sit up quickly as he jostled you awake.
"I- I had a nightmare." his lips tremble, tears sliding down his cheeks.
"It's okay, it was just a dream." you embrace him as he nuzzles into your neck.
You caress him until he calms down.
"It was about that place, wasn't it?"
He nods at your question and you sigh.
"How about we eat some ice cream?" you try to cheer him up and Felix nods quickly, a small smile already appearing on his face.
The two of you are in the kitchen when a loud banging on the door scares you both.
Both of you exchange a fearful look.
The banging starts again.
"Don't." Felix shakes his head, his hands trembling.
"It's okay." you reassure him, making your way to the door.
When you open them, you see five men in suits standing on your doorway, all their faces devoid of any emotion.
"Are you y/n l/n?" one of them speaks in a monotone voice.
"Yes, I am."
"So you've purchased Felix, the comforting doll?"
"I did. What is this about?" you ask confusedly.
"We are here to take him. There's been a malfunction and we need the dolls back at our company."
You scoff at them.
"No." you cross your arms.
"Miss, it's in your best interest to cooperate with us."
"Who the fuck do you think you are to know what's in my best interest?" you frown as two of the men exchange unimpressed looks.
You groan and in an attempt to shoo them away, you lift your leg up and kick one of the men right in his shin.
He doesn't even budge, doesn't make an expression or a sound that would indicate he was even hit.
"Get her out of the way." the man in the very back says and two of them grab your arms as you start screaming and kicking.
Three of the other men walk inside just as Felix runs up to the corridor, hearing your screams.
"Y/n!" he yells out, as the men grab him.
"Felix!" you kick around, tears sliding down your cheeks as you try to tear away from the men but to no avail.
"Let him go! He's alive! I love him!"
"Please don't take me away from her!"
Both of you scream but nobody listens to you.
One of the men takes a big needle out of his suitcase and before you can react he pushes it into Felix's neck, injecting him with some kind of liquid.
You scream as his body goes limp and they lift him up, walking out of your house.
"You'll get your money back, don't worry." the last man says and you scream at him, your tears flowing like a wild river.
"I don't want it! I want my Felix!" you cry, running after them but they've already pushed him into the backseat.
One of the men holds you back as they all pile in the car, leaving quickly as you fall down to your knees and cry.
Your heart hurts for breaking your promise of keeping Felix safe.
Your mind races with a thousand thoughts.
What are you going to do now?
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Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @juskz @quokkacidal @chuuyaobsessed @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @lixies-favorite-cookie @thelostprincessofasgard @linocvp1d
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seungfl0wer · 1 month ago
Text
*𝘽𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝘽𝙤𝙮*
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Pairing: Bunny!Hybrid Felix x Reader (Fem)
Genre: Smut
Warnings: Friends -> Lovers, Multiple: Orgasms/rounds and creampies, unprotected sex, Ear Kink? Idk man lol. Oral (Both), Hickeys/bite marks, 69, Squirting, slight face fucking. Sorry for any mistakes or missed warnings.
A/N: Posting this funny enough on my birthday lol. I love love love this I hope you guys do to!
Series Master List
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-🐾
Today was your best friend’s birthday. You kept asking him what he wanted and all he would say was just to hang out with you. Your friendship to others would seem more than friends. Felix always had some part of him touching you. Whether it be his arm around your waist or holding your hand. He just had to be close. He would always say it was just a hybrid thing, that he liked your body heat and it made him feel calm. I mean it was true, however Felix always had the massive crush on you. Ever since he got to know you almost 6 years ago now.
You met by chance from a friend of a friend who ended up leaving you alone at the cabin you all rented. You stayed up all night just talking about everything and anything. You’d be dumb to deny you had any feelings for him. Because in reality you may be more in love with him than he was with you. That pretty blonde hair of his, the way it draped over his face so perfectly. The way he smiled at you so warmly every time he saw you. The way those soft floppy ears would perk up as soon as he laid his eyes on you. Not to mention that cute little tail of his that always gave him away.
He had such a habit of laying his head on you wanting you to play with his hair, to touch his soft sensitive ears. He would melt like putty anytime you would too. Almost purring like a cat when you did. To everyone else you were together but neither of you ever confirming or honestly denying it either. It was almost a limbo of “are we together? Are we just friends?” Kinda thing. Neither of you dated or even looked for a partner.
You had everything set up for his birthday, you know he’d whine seeing you put so much effort into it but you wanted to make it special. After getting the apartment ready you slipped into Felix’s favorite outfit. Nothing special something you never understood why he liked so much. It was just a pair of sweats and your favorite crop top. He always told you how much he liked to cuddle up to you like that. How warm and cozy you felt all comfy.
When he arrived letting himself in you could hear him whine just like you knew he would. You decked out the place with his favorite color, made his favorite dinner and stopped at his favorite bakery to pick up the cookies he loved so much. When you saw him he looked like he could cry rushing over to you to give you a big hug. His little cotton tail moving like crazy, his cute nose twitching at all the good smells. “Y/n you didn’t have to do all this” he whined more.
“Ssh let’s go eat birthday boy” you said with a smile giving him a little nose kiss before making your way to the kitchen. You both sat and ate, listing to Felix talk about his day. He looked so handsome, his hair a bit messy, his black t shirt clinging to him a bit showing off his toned body. The way his sweats tugged down a bit to show off his little happy trail he had. Ugh and those eyes, those big eyes that could get him away with murder. They way the shined, smiled even while talking to you. You were hopelessly in love with him.
“Lixie I got all the blankets out on the pull out! We can snuggle and watch whatever you want!” You said with a smile.
“Is that why it’s so cold in here? You always make it freezing so ‘we need all the blankets’” he said with a chuckle.
After putting the dishes away you had to swat his hands away when he wanted to wash them. He always had that habit, trying to help you with everything. “Nuh uh, I appreciate it but today’s your birthday” you said pushing him slightly to go to the living room. He chuckled but did as you told him making his way to the couch as you put the dishes in the washer. You found him already cuddled up under the covers, he smiled at you.
“Come on, you got it so cold I need your warmth. I may die!” He whined. He moved the covers letting you take your spot. Slinking his arms around you, laying his head in the crook of your neck. “Mm you smell so good and so warm” he said with a little purr. You snuffled into him toes touching his legs making him jump “stooop you’re cooold” he whined more.
You put on some movie Felix had told you about. Felix couldn’t help but move a bit the way you had your body pressed against him now ass against his slowly hardening cock. He felt his head spin. You could feel his breath on your neck, the way it hitched a bit as you moved to reposition yourself. You could feel him pressed against you. Maybe it was that you had enough of whatever limbo you guys were in. Maybe it was the atmosphere of it being his birthday, having his cock so nicely pressed against you. You couldn’t help yourself your hand found its way to the hem of his pants making him jolt.
You glossed your hand over his hardening cock making him let out a soft whimper. You felt him move himself pushing his hips against your hand. You turned your body not saying anything before dipping under the covers. His eyes went wide, he felt you lower yourself on him. “Y/n-“ he choked out looking down out you, holding the covers up to see you.
“It’s your birthday lixie let me take care of you?” You said softly. And all he could do was nod. He watched as you slowly pulled his pants down letting his cock finally free. It was almost cute however you weren’t expecting how thick he was. He wasn’t big on length terms not small either but what he lacked in length he made up in sheer girth. He was so thick, his tip already leaking pre cum. You licked over his tip making him shake at the sensation. You were quick to take his hand in one of yours before taking him slowly back your throat.
The way his body trembled under you, the way he squeezed your hand and oh boy the way he moaned. It made your core tremble. You could feel yourself becoming wet at just the sound of him. You slowly bobbed your head on his length your other hand coming up to slightly touch his balls. “You- you’re gonna make me- ah ah” he said bucking his hips up cumming without any warning. Well he tried to but it came on so fast he couldn’t even get the words out. You swallowed around him, drinking in everything he had. To your surprise though he was still harder than ever, so you didn’t stop.
You moved your head faster, fondling his balls more. “Fuck y/n” he moaned out taking his other hand to move your hair. When you looked up at him, when you met those glossed over eyes you moaned. The vibrations sending a shock wave through him. He was already close again- fuck he was so close again. Something about bunny hybrids was they had tremendous stamina. They could cum over and over and still keep going.
He watched as you took him all in, if his brain was fuzzy before it definitely was now. Your eyes locked on him as you took him all back, tongue twirling around him. “God I can smell how wet you are” he said his voice low. His hand came under to cup your face pulling you off of him with a pop. “Let me take care of you too?” He said moving your body so he could lean back to touch you.
“But it’s-“ you started to say only to be cut off by him.
“Yeah and I say I wanna feel how drenched you are” he almost growled.
He pulled down your sweats groaning at the fact you didn’t have anything under it. He moved his hand down your stomach before pressing it against your clit. He quickly moved down a little feeling how wet you were. “Mm you’re soaked- fuck” he said softly before pushing his fingers into your needy hole. You moaned finally getting some stimulation to your throbbing cunt. You quickly moved your head back to take him in licking at his tip before slowly taking him back your throat.
He bucked his hips up, his cock head hitting the back of your throat. He felt you clench around him making a low groan come out from deep back his throat. “Y-you like me using that pretty throat of yours?” He asked. You hummed in response, he wanted to chuckle but fuck it was so hot. He moved his hips more fucking slowly into your throat as his fingers explored your folds. “I can’t take it anymore- need- I need to- ah taste you.” He moved his body laying on his back before you could even say anything in response he was pulling your body down on top of him.
He attached his lips to your dripping cunt lapping at every juice that dared to flow past his lips. His hands gripped at your ass and thighs keeping you on his face. Wanting nothing more to be surrounded by your warmth and essence. He ate you out like it was the most tastiest dessert that had ever graced his lips. His tongue darted at your hole fucking it into you. His thrusts into your mouth were becoming more erratic as he chased another orgasm. You were close behind him, feeling your body melt into him. The stings keeping it at by ready to break at any moment.
When he nipped at your clit sucking on it harshly is all it took. The strings snapping cumming in his tongue with a loud moan. His eyes rolled back pushing his cock back your throat one more time before cumming. His cum shot down your throat as you swallowed it once more. He licked your cunt clean not wanting to waste any of the sweetness he had only dreamt about tasting.
He quickly grabbed you, flipping you to your stomach before getting behind you. “Need you- I need you like I need fucking air- please y/n” he whimpered his cock pressing at your core begging for entrance.
“Felix, ah lixie please- fuck me, I’m all yours always been all yours” the words that came from you were almost desperate. You moved your ass back pushing him into you. The sound he let out was almost pornagraphic and the way his hands flung to your hips gripping them tightly.
“Shit-“ he choked out. He took a moment for his head to wrap around what was actually happening however the way you clenched around him he couldn’t help but move. He started off a bit slow still trying to adjust to what was happening but hearing you moan made him lose it. His thrusts were so deep, his thick cock grazing against all your sensitive spots. He pounded into you fucking you like bunnies do. “Shit- shit- gonna- ah I’m fucking c-cuming!” He screamed hands digging into you surly leaving marks.
The hot cum filling you, making him glide in and out even better. He gripped ahold of you pulling you back. He had you on his lap now his chest pressed against your back. He thrusted up into you even harder the new position making him feel even thicker. “Always wanted this, wanted to be burred so deep into you- to fill you full- ah-“ he babbled out. His hand came down to rub your forgetting clit. His master fingers bringing you close to another orgasm.
He was relentlessly, his thrusts so precise but also so sloppy. He left kisses to your neck sinking those bunny teeth into them. He needed to mark you up, needed to let everyone know you were finally all his. You felt your high ready to crash over you this time it felt stronger you knew that feeling from only one time before. Funny enough you were thinking of him that time too, riding your bunny dildo thinking of your best friend. It was the first time you ever squirted and you knew you were gonna do it again.
His other hand came up to grip at your neck softly pulling your had to the side to give him full access to your neck. He sucked purple marks all over leaving a bit indent of those cute little bunny teeth. With one more harsh thrust one more deep bite you were cumming. Felix’s thrusts stuttered as he watched the stream of fluids come from you. Squirting all over the couch body shaking violently. “Ah- ah that’s it fuck- I can’t believe you just- shit!” He groaned against your neck pushing as far as he could cumming deep into you once more.
He wasn’t done yet though, he moved your body once more laying you down on your back before thrusting into you once more. This time more desperate. “T’much” you stuttered out tears pricking at your eyes. You were so sensitive so fucking sensitive. Each thrust made you feel like you were gonna cum again.
“One more angel, please- you can give me one more right? For my birthday? Just one more- need- need to see you cum on my cock. I wanna-“ he panted out. “I wanna see that beautiful face while you cum all over me- please you can give me one more right?”
“Anything- anything for you lixie- you feel so fucking good” you croaked.
“God you feel so good to- so fucking good- you’re so warm so fucking wet- ah you’re all mine- all mine right angel?” His eyes had a gleam in them you’ve never seen before almost animal like.
“All yours! Always have been lixie!” You almost screamed.
He quickly attached his lips to yours kissing you hungrily as he ponded into you. Your hands flung up to his hair pulling him deeper into the kiss. Your hands grazed his ears making him whimper. “Ah- wait don’t” he started today but it was too late. You started to stoke his ears, they were always so sensitive but this was a different kind of sensitive right now. His body shook, he put all his body weight in you. His head in the crook of your neck letting out soft moans and whimpers. You gently pulled on his ears and he lost it.
His thrusted harshly into you feeling his high about to spill once more into you. He pulled away looking down at you. “Gonna-“ he choked out before cumming deep into you for the third time of the night. It was enough to bring you over the edge again cumming with him. He watched your face contort in pleasure feeling you clench so tightly around him.
He leaned himself back down to you cupping your face to kiss you lovingly. He brushed some hair from your face looking tenderly in your eyes. “The best birthday gift I could ever ask for is to just have you as mine” he said sweetly.
“Lix- I love you” you said breathily wrapping your arms around him to hug him tightly.
“I love you to, I love you so much” he said nuzzling back into your neck.
You felt his hips move slightly feeling him hard again. “Seriously?” You said in a jokingly voice.
“Sorry angel, can’t help it. It’s what bunnies do best” he said with a chuckle.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
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Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @jehhskz @babigriin @kkamismom12 @jeonginsleftcheek
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bbokicidal · 27 days ago
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heyyy hi! Loving ur new theme! When u have time and if u want could u pls do some hcs for skz with a crush and how they’d confess? I bet Felix and Han would be like very blushy and so. Changbin gives off the vibes like “I wanna seem cool but end up being a dork and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl”. What do you reckon?
SKZ [OT8] + Having A Crush
Genre: Fluff Pairing: OT8 [Individual] x Reader Warnings: None?
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방찬 - Chris:
♥ The most upfront about it. Tells you straight up one night after having dinner together; Confesses on your doorstep with his hands wringing in front of him.
♥♥ When he's done talking he'll put his hands behind his back and sway on his heels, lips pressed into a shy, thin smile. Very matter of fact about it and doesn't want to mislead you or get you confused at all. Very careful with his words but also straight to the point.
♥♥♥ If you feel the same way, he'll be very giddy about it and all smiley, pink in the ears. If you don't return the feelings, he'll understand - bidding you a goodnight and returning to his car with shaky hands. He'll just have to work through it on his own.
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리노 - Minho:
♥ Very cautious on how he approaches it because he's the one unsure of his own feelings. Also straight to the point but almost a little aggressive about it because he's not sure how to get the words out, per say? Talking very loudly but also saying very little.
♥♥ Almost frustrated with himself. He wishes he would've told you sooner, because he let his feelings fester for so long and now he's not sure he can take it if you reject him.
♥♥♥ If you feel the same way, he'll be extremely relieved and ask if you want to go on a proper date together sometime in the near future. If you don't return the feelings, he'll give you a curt nod and hum as if he's processing the information. He might distance himself from you for a bit - Just so he can get through it alone. He doesn't need comfort or care.
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창빈 - Changbin:
♥ Very flustered with his own feelings. He's so shy about expressing them if they're big emotions so he has to ask Chris for help on how to get it out, what to say to you.
♥♥ But he does it!! After working during a long day, he finds comfort in your apartment eating a warm meal together (takeout, obvi.) and watching YouTube videos for a few hours. He confesses sitting next to you on the floor, hoping it's the right moment to talk about it in the comfort of your own home. It's a chill moment, he's just a chill guy.
♥♥♥ If you return the feelings, he'll giggle to himself and his ears will flush red with admiration. He'll be sure to make you his partner officially soon enough. If you don't return the feelings, he'll play it off with a shy smile and nod, understanding that everything doesn't go as hoped sometimes. He'll excuse himself and leave the apartment, wishing you a goodnight. Afterwards it's almost as if your friendship wasn't changed by it at all.
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현진 - Hyunjin:
♥ Makes an art piece to express his admiration for you and gifts it to you when you have lunch together one day. He's best at anything art related - talking is not his strong suit, and neither is using words. (Paboracha, everyone.)
♥♥ You've never seen a painting so beautiful and he hopes you recognize it's you standing in the pouring rain, a glow emanating around your figure in the portrait that seemed to say you were his sunshine on the darkest days.
♥♥♥ If you return the feelings, he'll be happier than ever. Red in the cheeks, smiling, hugging onto you and asking if you'd want to go on a date later that evening - and talking about how he'll fill your future shared home with lots of art like this one, too. If you don't return the feelings, he'll nod it off and understand. You need to keep the painting though - He won't be able to look at it without feeling his heart shatter. It just wasn't in fate's design, it seems.
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한 - Jisung:
♥ Anxious. Giddy. Very open to telling you and gets his point across with many words, even if he's really saying very little. He sits you down to tell you, admitting his admiration when Chan steps out of the studio for a few moments to get a drink from the cafeteria. He finds solace in the studio so.. this was the best place for him to do it.
♥♥ His hands wring in his lap and he's bouncing his leg, trying to keep himself still but failing. He's anxious, riddled with curiosity and adoration and also the horror of - what if you reject him?
♥♥♥ If you return the feelings, he'll immediately make it official. Expect him to be all over you, holding your hand and having you close to him - bragging to the guys that you're his. If you don't return the feelings, he'll need to take some time away from you. For his own sanity and safety.
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필릭스 - Felix:
♥ Possibly the most excited to express his feelings towards you. Gets you a little muffin basket and some goodies when he knows you aren't feeling well, and then pays you a visit to deliver them all. He'll sit on your bed and quietly express how he wants to take care of you all the time - provide for you, spoil you, treat you like his prince/princess.
♥♥ His excitement outweighs any sense of nervousness, honestly.
♥♥♥ If you share his feelings, he'll make sure to plan the sweetest date known to mankind. A cafe date, maybe. Or a picnic with candles and lots of sweets. If you don't return his feelings, he'll be sure to take care of you regardless - admiring from afar until his feelings fade and he can move on.
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승민 - Seungmin:
♥ Kind of.. quiet about it? Hesitant. Gets you a bouquet and a card and asks you that way, leaving it somewhere he knows you'll see it. He can't do it in person - You might assume it's because he's a bit cold or a bit of a meanie at heart, but it's actually because he is far too shy.
♥♥ When he gets your text to call, he does it immediately and shyly explains over FaceTime while picking at his jeans that he really does like you and that it isn't a big joke - That he's serious, and wants to be more than friends. (And the way his neck turns beet red gives his honesty away.)
♥♥♥ If you return his feelings, he'll be - very excited, but it won't outwardly show other than his small smile. He might cry a tad bit, actually. If you don't return his feelings, he'll understand and end the call with a bit of a sad laugh. He knew he wouldn't be good boyfriend material...
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아이엔 - Jeongin:
♥ The most sweet, boyfriend-like, college crush-esque vibes with his admission. He's got a little sign made asking you to the homecoming dance and it's super cute and wholesome - and his nose and cheeks are covered in glitter from making the sign and his hands are shaking as he holds it - but he's got flowers and he's all dressed up in a cute set of jeans and a letterman jacket,
♥♥ He surprises you at your front door to ask you with the little dance-posal. But the bottom of the sign also asks for you to go with him as 'more than his friend' and he hopes the point gets across.
♥♥♥ If you share his feelings, he's going to be beaming for the rest of his days. He'll brag to his friends, always have his hand on your hip, and every Friday is a date night for just the two of you. If you don't share his feelings, it's going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life. And he will in fact never ask anyone out ever again, ready to die a virgin.
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cheeseceli · 3 months ago
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You wear a swimsuit
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Pairing: skz Ot8 × Gn!reader (individually)
Genre: fluff, reactions
Request: I was wondering how skz would react to their s/o being shy/not wanting them to see them in a bikini/swimsuit? thank you !! <3
Warnings: skinship on Hyunjin's, mentions of insecurities regarding body image
A/n: I truly need Lee Know to dye his hair purple again | daily click
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Bang Chan
At first he's just like "wear what you're the most comfortable with" and then, when you guys go to the pool or the beach, he's trying to entertain you as much as he can and inviting you to do everything with him (wanna play volleybal with me and the boys? We can go to the pool later) so hopefully you'll get comfortable and wear the swimsuit with no worries on mind
Lee Know
Out of all the boys, he's the one who covers himself the most, so I believe he'd completely understand you. If you aren't comfortable wearing revealing clothes, he gets it. However, he will not tolerate you thinking badly of yourself. Praises you until you understand that you're beautiful no matter what you're wearing.
Changbin
He knows everyone has insecurities but?? You?? Having insecurities on how you LOOK?? He does NOT get it. This post is basically me saying they all would reassure and compliment you, but this is HEAVY on Changbin's. And he's also super dramatic when he sees you in the outfit in a positive way, like he would kneel and thank you for blessing him with your beauty
Hyunjin
May I present you, ✨physical comfort✨. If you're insecure because of your body, he might just remember you that this is the exact body he loves so much. Kisses, hugs and soft touches until you forget why you were so self aware before.
Han
If it's like an outing with the boys to the beach and you don't want him to see you, he'll reassure you that you look gorgeous to him always. Now, if you don't want other people seeing you, that's quick to solve: he's always so chaotic and so full of energy that outsiders will always look at him only lol. So everything is okay in the end
Felix
Just like the other boys, he would also reassure you, but if it would make you feel better, he'd offer to lend one of his shirts to you, so you could use it to cover your swimsuit until you feel more confident to show it. As a bonus, it would probably be your favourite shirt of his
Seungmin
I believe he would do the same as Felix but in a more subtle way. Instead of being like "I can lend you a shirt to cover your swimsuit" it would be like "do you want to wear a shirt of mine? Just because". He's trying to not make a big deal out of it so you don't think that wearing a bath suit is too much of a thing, he's tryna make you feel comfortable
I.N
He has a sort of delicate reassurance. The moment you say you don't want him to see you wearing a swimsuit, he wants to understand why. And then he gently convinces you to wear it and show him. He's ready to praise you for your looks. Somehow, he's a mix of all the other boys, but gentler if that makes sense.
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Masterlist | you'll probably like: you have curly hair
Reminder that this is all fiction, this does not represent the members in real life!
Taglist: @yuyubeans @dandelions-143 @sleepyleeji
Dividers by @enchanthings | images 1, 2 and 3
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catiuskaa · 11 months ago
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*cough cough* no, me kisses.
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SUMMARY: he may have lost his opportunity to ask you to become official, but boyfriend or not, there’s only one thing Hannie wants needs: your kisses. All over his face. Right now.
WC: exactly 1.3k baby!
CW: it’s too fluff!! ahhh!! (scared) lol, mentions of the usual sick thingies like headaches and mucus (ew!), mentions of lipstick stains (because YES), use of petnames.
REQUESTED! by pookie dookie @4ln-stay8 right here. I owed you one for reading my angsty fics, so I gave my best with this one. tysm for your support, my love! <3
A/N: inspired on the jeekies bc this singlehandedly changed my brain chemistry (melts n giggles)
[☆★🧣★☆]
Jisung wanted to groan.
Meanwhile, you only wanted to giggle and take millions of pictures of him.
What for? Well, first of all, little Hannie was cutely hiding under his duvet.
Only Jisung’s big boba eyes blinked repeatedly as he sniffed, not because he was crying, but because the poor little thing couldn’t even smell anything. He kept the half down of his face under the blankets of his bed, as he surely knew he was blushing due to you being in his room.
He hadn’t been expecting you, and he wanted to groan and put on a tantrum —or however you use that word in a sentence— because you had to be there at that moment.
“Aw, Sunggie,” you melted at the sight of him, holding back the need to coo and pet him and treat him the small and cute hamster he so was. “Lix called,” you clarified with a toothy grin. “He said you were sick, and buzzed me in before he left.”
Jisung made a note to himself to remember to tickle Felix to death for that.
There was one thing he wanted, and while it was you the one who could give it to him, he felt quite shy from asking, as far as refraining from doing so just yet.
Because it was not like you two were dating officially. Yes, the big, fat crush he had on you was as obvious as shit, to put it in elegant words, but he hadn’t asked you yet.
He was going to ask you, but he got sick.
And that one thing he wanted from you was your sweet pouty lips peppering kisses all over his face.
You sat next to him, and sheepishly shook your head. “Let me tidy up this place for you and bring you some medicine and more tissues, yeah?”
Your voice felt soothing, he wanted to use it as a blanket and stay wrapped in it for the rest of the week.
His heart sent more blood to his cheeks. As if there wasn’t enough, he thought with a huff, big eyes watching your movements as you picked a plate that had been left there since the night before and started picking up the used tissues from the floor.
“…hi…” Jisung mumbled, his voice hoarse and his throat dry.
Was he sick? Sure. I mean, his head hurt, his eyelids felt heavy, his nose was runny and he had surely filled the floor of his room and a decent part of his bed with used tissues.
But despite all that, the thing he wanted the most was to cuddle you to his hearts content.
“Hi, gorgeous,” you snickered softly, and he couldn’t help but smile with you. “Want some water too?”
He coughed in response, and you giggled. He cracked his knuckles underneath the bed sheet, his hands tingling, wanting to take you by your shoulders and hug you like a boa constrictor.
“Guess we have to cancel for tonight,” you mumbled with a small smile, your hand tenderly stroking his hair away from his forehead. “I’ll go leave my coat and bag in the living room and I’ll come back, yeah?”
He pouted without realizing. “Mmhhh…” he hummed with a small frown, almost like a whine.
You were about to mumble a soft ‘what’s wrong?’ before he shoved the covers away from his face as he gingerly raised his hand to grab your wrist and settled your palm back on his forehead. He sighed in small relief, melting into the coldness that lingered in you from being outside.
“Headache?” You said almost in a whisper, hearing the butterflies’ wings going crazy in your stomach.
He nodded. If he had been a cat, he would be purring, even if your hand had already turned warm against his skin.
“C’mon, Jisung-a,” your voice felt even softer than before. “I’ll come back before you know it.”
He sniffed. “…you will…?”
Your heart crushed, unable to handle how cute Han looked. It was too much, so much that even the butterflies in your stomach started to have their own butterflies in their stomachs.
And with a smile, you moved your hand to his cheek and planted a shy tender kiss on his forehead.
“I will. Pinky promise.” You chuckled softly, a blush slowly creeping up to your cheeks.
His eyes widened, and his heart skipped a beat.
Oh, no. Now he knew what one of your small kisses felt like.
Now you couldn’t leave. Not before… oh.
He grinned slyly, making you raise your eyebrows, wondering what could he be thinking in that cute little head of his.
“…we’ll… make a deal…” he stated as firmly as he could.
You shrugged lightly, secretly enjoying the faint pink hue of your lipstick that had stained his forehead.
“Sure, Hannie.” Your smile only made the fact that you’d leave for, like, ten minutes —or God, maybe even more— feel a lot worse.
“I… want… more of those…” he blushed deeply.
“More of those?”
He took your hand and covered his eyes with it.
“I want more kisses.” He sniffed again.
Your mouth quickly formed the shape of an ‘o’, as your blush quickly turned a deeper shade of red, as if to compete against his.
You giggled, moving your hand from his face.
“You want my kisses, jagi?” You teased with a smirk.
He felt his heart going crazy in him, a tight feeling in his chest that turned his ears red.
“Aww, but aren’t you too sick for that?”
Oh, no.
You weren’t just going to give him a small kiss and then not continue all morning and all evening… right?
That couldn’t be allowed. Was it? He tsked at the thought. He had to make sure it wasn’t.
He coughed, pouting.
“No.” He coughed again. “Me. Kisses.” He sniffed. “Now.”
You laughed loudly, a sort of laugh that went right in Han’s little heart and filled it up with energy. He didn’t feel that gloomy sensation that being sick could cast over someone.
Instead, he squinted at you playfully.
“You have ten minutes, missy.” He said, already looking much better, emotionally wise at least. “Or else.”
You giggled, sheepishly pecking the corner of his lips.
"You can set up a timer, you cheeky idiot."
He moved his hand to his heart in an overly dramatic gesture that made you cackle, as he chuckled too, trying to ignore how fast his heartbeat felt under his hand.
Nine minutes and forty three seconds later —forty four, forty five...— you had settled a plastic bag next to his nightstand, had stolen a tissue box from the living room, and right now, you were smiling, walking one step in front of the other, carefully so to not spill over the soup you had made for him.
"It's amazing. You have to try it, I've outdone myself." You chuckled as he sat up on his bed, gingerly waiting. You left the tray on his crossed legs, moving his desk chair and nonchalantly taking a seat close to him.
"C'mon." You snickered. "Eat up." He finished it without a single complaint.
"Good boy." You teased, cackling loudly when you saw him blush.
"That's not fair," he mumbled with a pout.
"Scooch aside, Mr fairness."
You moved the pillows and laid next to him, shyly putting your arm below his neck, and then passed the other over his chest.
His face was practically in front of you.
"Hi." You grinned cheekily.
"...oh, h-hi." You giggled at his shyness. You hid the fact that you had reapplied your lipstick in the kitchen before bringing the soup, and started peppering soft kisses on his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, the corner of his mouth...
Oh, you were surely going to catch whatever he had.
[☆★🧣★☆]
~Kats, who doesn't understand why tumblr won't let her stack pictures when answering asks, reason why I post them separately, lol. Thanks for the request, gorgeous!
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minminyoonjii · 3 months ago
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I need birthday triplets Felix Han and reader where the other members worship the three. I’ve seen so many stories where the reader has their brithday and gets all the praise and worshipping, but I know many (me included) who share their birthday with a member
I can’t stop thinking about it 🥹
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❤️Ultimate Masterlist
💜Rules and Guidelines
🕯Summary: Birthday Babies deserve a thorough pounding, including you. There's no escape once you're in.
🌹CW
Handjob|Squirting|Multiple Orgasms|Very Rough Sex|Praise Kink|Wet & Messy|Spitroasting|Dirty Talk|Threesome|Cum Eating|Cum Play|Facials|Untouched Orgasms|Blowjob|Face Fucking|Double Penetration|Orgy|Spanking|Scratching|Mating Press |Coaxing|Teasing|Dom! OT6|Degrading Praise Kink|Free Use Aes|Manhandling|Exhibitionism|Everyone Likes It Rough|Aftercare
💌 This is a work of fiction, I by all means don't force ship anyone. They have the right to love whomever they want.
🍄Wordcount: 1.3K
"Lixxie, did you get any messages from the boys?" you asked, nibbling on your bottom lip. He shook his head, "None, it's like radio silence," he murmured, hooking his leg over your waist. You moved your head, "Sungie, what about you?" you asked, rubbing his cheeks. Jisung gulped, shaking his head, "Nothing from my side either," he said, sulking against your palm. 
All three of you felt your hearts sink, "You don't think they forgot about us right?" you whispered, sighing deeply. Felix clicked his tongue, "No way, Stays have been boasting about it since September began. There's no way right?" he whispered, trying to find hope in your eyes when a soft hic came from Jisung. "What if they actually did?" he cried, tears spilling down his cheeks. 
You teared up too, empathy running high, "If you cry I'll cry," you sobbed, burrowing into his chest. Felix's lips wobbled, "You can't have a cry session without me," he hiccuped, clinging close, crying against your neck. Your cries were far from quiet. It was deliberately loud for attention. The boys swung open the door, seeing the three of you bundled together with tears streaming down your puffy cheeks. 
Chan brushed back your hair, "What's wrong, bubs? What's got you so upset?" He asked, giving a give big hug. Felix sniffled, "Not one of you wished us happy birthday," he sulked, squinting at them with his tear brimmed eyes. Seungmin frowned, "We didn't mean to make you feel neglected. It's just that we got distracted by work," he explained, rubbing Felix's nape. Jisung furrowed his eyebrows, "What work? We're off for today," he asked, looking at him. 
Minho stepped in, "Since you three decided to have a cuddle day, we prepared a little something," he said, pinching Jisung's cheek. You perked up, "What is it?" You asked, excitement buzzing through your body. Changbin chuckled, "Why don't you come find out?" he asked, easily carrying Felix in his arms. Chan carried Jisung and Minho carried you, "I swear to God, we leave you alone for a bit and it's suddenly a sob fest," Minho teased, bopping your nose. 
You giggled, nuzzling his shoulder. They walked into the kitchen, the dining table filled with your favorite dishes and cake. "Woah!" Felix exclaimed, seeing everything. The group placed you in your seats, "Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to our Sunshines. Happy Birthday to you," they sang, taking a video of your reactions. 
You beamed, nuzzling your partners, "Thank you," you said, blowing the candles with Jilix. Hyunjin smirked, standing behind the three of you, "Now to make your wishes come through," he teased, locking collars around your necks. You gulped, staring at the hungry gazes watching your every move. You held Jisung and Felix's hand, "We're fucked," you murmured. Jisung nodded, "Totally fucked," he answered.
"Too big, hah hhgh," Felix moaned, clawing Minho's chest. Minho chuckled, keeping his relentless pace, "But you love my big girthy cock," he teased, thrusting his cock deeper past Felix's puffy rim. Felix groaned, tossing his head back as Minho’s throbbing cock head brushed against his prostate, "There, hyung. There," he babbled, digging his nails into Minho's shoulders. 
Minho hooked his arms under Felix's thighs, "Shh, shh. I know," he  growled, pounding his cock at those sensitive bundles of nerves. Felix's back arched, his cock dribbling precum all over his torso, "Hah, fuck, fuck. I'm cumming, hyung," he sobbed, crying out from the constant pleasure buzzing through his body. "Cum for hyung, baby boy. Let hyung see your pretty cock get messy," Minho grunted, pumping Felix's cock in tandem with his thrusts. 
His fingers rubbed the sensitive tissue under Felix's hard red cockhead. Felix released a loud broken moan, cumming hard onto his chest. Streaks of white painted his pale skin. His jaw slacked with drool drying by the sides. Minho cooed, keeping the tip of his cock pressed against Felix's swollen prostate, "Take a breather, baby. Let's hear the others scream," he chuckled, hearing Jisung whine out behind him. 
Seungmin gripped Jisung's hair, his cock buried deep down his throat, "Your throat was just meant for cock, prince," he chuckled, thrusting his hips at a languid pace. Jeongin hissed, his cock clenched hard within Jisung's tight ribbed walls, "Keep praising, he loves it," he groaned, spanking Jisung's plump ass. Seungmin smirked, hearing Jisung gag around his cockhead, "You're doing so well, pretty boy. Warm tight mouth feeling so good around me," he cooed, stroking Jisung's cheek. 
Jeongin picked up his pace, thrusting at a merciless pace. Drawing muffled whines and whimpers from Jisung. "Fuck sake. I don't think I can hold it if you're mmh gonna keep, hah doing that," he growled, thrusting his cock in tandem with Jeongin's pace. "Cumming, fuck, fuck," Jeongin cried out, pumping his hot searing load up Jisung's tight hole. Seungmin hissed, ejaculating down Jisungs throat soon after, "Good job, you did so good," he rasped, stroking Jisung's hard. 
Hyunjin chuckled, "Poor baby, came untouched twice. His poor leaky cock looks spent," he teased, tugging on Jisung's  veiny cock. Jeongin whimpered when Jisung clenched hard around his shaft, "Shit, shit, shit. Hyung!" He exclaimed, swatting at Hyunjin. "Sorry, sorry," Hyunjin cooed, kissing Jisungs forehead. Drool dripped down your lips, your mind hazy and clouded by pleasure overwhelming your senses. 
Chan easily manhandled your body up and down his and Changbin's cock. Your cunt was stuffed to brim with Changbin's girthy wide cock. Chan's cock buried deep up your ass, your holes puffy and swollen from their constant deep thrusts. You stared up at Hyunjin with a dazed look, orgasm after orgasm pulled from your pliant body. "Such a creamy hole, your puffy cunt is just leaking with cum isn't it?" he asked, swiping the ring of cum by the base of Changbin's cock and tasted it. 
Chan groaned, "Go give Lixie some attention, he's been hard since Minho allowed him to rest," he grunted, rubbing your swollen clit from the back. Changbin latched on your nipples, his teeth and tongue stimulating your body to the brink. "Hah, huh, hhgh, hah," you slurred, barely coherent with your words. Hyunjin held your jaw, kissing you softly, "Sweet," he whispered, sucking  on your tongue. Your eyes rolled back, quivering around their cocks as your orgasm squirted onto Changbin's lap. 
Changbin growled, pumping a heavy load up your womb, coating every part white, "Shit, angel. You took me off guard," he chuckled, kissing your jaw. Hyunjin pulled away, "Don't make her pass out," he teased, walking towards Felix. "How's my little boy?" He asked, stroking Felix's leaking cock. Felix bucked his hips, craving the friction, "Feel good, Hyunnie," he slurred, moaning quietly at the pleasing pleasure. 
Hyunjin smiled, aligning his cock with Felix's, "Rest, I'll take care of you," he reassured, pumping his wrist around their cocks. His hand easily held them in between. "Hah, hah, hhgh,”  Felix whined,  clawing the couch below as he obediently took the pleasure Hyunjin gave. Hyunjin groaned, rubbing their slits with his other hand, "Mmh, feels good doesn't it, hah, ah, fuck," he grunted, stroking their cocks at a needy pace. 
Felix whimpered, "Cumming, cumming!" he cried, painting his torso white once more, his cum hitting his chin. Hyunjin growled at the sight, ejaculating hard onto Felix's face. Felix moaned at the warm facial, darting his tongue out to taste. Hyunjin  felt his cock twitch, "Fuck, baby. You're so perfect," he said in awe, kissing Felix's nose.
"Aww, look at them," Chan cooed, tucking the three of you in warm cosy blankets. Minho chuckled, "They look too innocent. It's dangerous," he teased, putting a plush in each of your arms. You whined and squinted at them with tired eyes. Seungmin stroked your hair, "Go back to sleep," he whispered, humming a soft lullaby. It didn't take long for the three of you to melt into the mattress with smiles on your face.
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acidinduceddaydreams · 6 months ago
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First Real Love with Skz
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Skz x reader who was in a toxic relationship before them
Synopsis: In which you experience love, the real kind, for the first time.
Warnings: major tw for trauma in terms of mental and physical violence done by a significant other. Please don’t read if this triggers you.
a/n : this fic was my baby for a long time. Now it’s yours, please look after it. I pray it brings some comfort to you!🫶🏼
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Chan:
He feels honored that you choose him to be apart of your life.
Doesn’t pry too much when you bring up your past. If you want to tell him you will and he’s content with that.
He finds you so incredibly intoxicating. He can’t believe that someone would ever treat you badly. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure you’re always happy.
Literally so in love with your more childlike/ whimsical view of the world now that you two are together. Your personality definitely changed for the better once you met him and realized that being safe should be a prerequisite in a relationship.
Minho:
Doesn’t ask about your past relationship much. Mostly relies on you telling him about it when you feel comfortable enough.
Absolutely at your service!!! If you’re having particularly unpleasant or difficult feelings or are in your own head he’s at your beck and call. Whether that’s cooking for you, feeding you (which you won’t admit you like) or even leaving you alone for a bit.
The babies (his cats) are by your side 24/7 to ground you and get you out of your head because “ they wouldn’t want their mom to be sad.”
Changbin:
Cannot fathom the idea of someone hurting you in any way whatsoever without wanting to beat them up.
Unlike Minho, Changbin will not leave you alone if you’re having a particularly bad day. He thinks you’re so precious so he will never leave your side even in a particularly bad situation.
Binnie gives the best cuddles!!!! I am 100% convinced. Cuddling is a must! It’s like free therapy. (He, himself is free therapy but wbk) his hugs and cuddles make you forget about what’s going on in your head bc binnie’s cuddles make everything better.
Hyunjin:
He’s appalled that someone could treat another human with disrespect and violence let alone you!
He’s your number one fan in everything you do. Celebrates your small wins just as grandly as the big ones. Oh you ate breakfast today. Suddenly your name and “I’m so proud of you” is all he knows how to say.
Paints with you. Yk when you put the canvases parallel to each other and paint something for the other person. Yeah you guys do that all the time as a grounding technique but also just as a way to show love to one another.
Jisung:
He’s so good at reading body language!!!!!! He is absolutely crushed when things like holding your hand or stretching his hand out to touch your cheek make you flinch, not because he’s mad or angry at you but rather at the person who ever dared to treat you this way.
Wdym personal space? Hannie’s never heard of it. He’s so good at getting you out of you head. He knows what triggers you and sometimes know when something will trigger you before you do.
He’s so attentive bc why wouldn’t he be when he has you to look after. This boy loves you so much and he shows it every day.
Felix:
Bakes for you!!!!!! Sometimes you two bake together but he usually does it in advance to you telling him you need a little extra love today.
So in love with you. Tries to show you the beauty that you are because you haven’t felt beautiful till you met him. “Oh baby you look even more gorgeous than you did yesterday, I didn’t even know that was possible.”
You remind him of sunshine and he reminds you of the sun. Clearly neither of you can exist without the other.
Seungmin:
He is super playful and witty naturally but he tones down the more mocking side for your particularly hard days. He loves you in ways that you didn’t know you could be loved.
On regular days though you two share a similar sense of humor. He loves that about you. Never lets it go too far though.
Absolutely a sucker for you. The boys tease him for being soft for you but he doesn’t care. You’re his baby and he doesn’t care who sees that.
Jeongin:
This boy is so whipped for you. He always listens to you even if what you have to say is something he has no idea about. It feels so amazing to have someone listen to you. To truly listen. He makes it look easy even though listening and not interrupting is quite hard.
He’s not a big fan of skinship but your hands are always within his and he loves it. He’s genuinely so feral for it but you don’t need to know that.
He’ll make sure to show you how someone treats someone they love every day. He’s so attentive and that makes going to him whether it’s with a problem or just to talk so easy because you know there’s no judgment from him.
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desi2go · 7 months ago
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Sleep deprived
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pairing: Minho x reader
warnings: fluff
Lee Minho always gave his best. From the moment he debuted as an idol, his perfectionism grew and grew. He wanted to impress Stay and make them proud.
When you met him, he was already an idol and you couldn't believe that he, the Lee Know of Stray Kids, asked you out. A normal person with a pretty normal job. But he did and you fell for him bad. He was the person you can lean on at the end of the day.
In the four-year relationship, you had ups and downs and even in the best relationship are fights about to happen. But in the end you can always find solutions.
You had met his group members after you dated for half a year and you immediately clicked with Han. He was like the male version of you and you became friends pretty fast. Minho didn't mind, he was happy. Because of that, Han spend much time with both of you.
You noticed that when the next comeback came closer and closer, Minho spent nearly all his time in the company, returning home late and barely sleeping. At first he tried to hide his tiredness but you knew him well and the dark circles under his eyes told otherwise. He often slept at the dorms so that he wouldn't wake you up when he got home even though you told him you didn't mind.
You had taken the afternoon off to clean the apartment and maybe visit your boyfriend with some food. When Han called, you didn't think that maybe something could be with Minho. Han and you called each other often.
"Hey Ji, what's up?" You asked, meanwhile cleaning the countertop of the kitchen.
"Can you come? Or are you at work?"
"No I'm home. What's wrong?" You cleared the wet towels away, searching for your car keys.
"No need to worry, Minho is sleeping right now. But we think he should go home." he told you and you immediately sped to the company building, running to the practise room.
You opened the door and entered the room. Minho sat against the big mirror, his head leaning against it. His eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. His members stood around him. Han jogged over to you, giving you a warm and sweaty hug.
"Why is he sleeping on the ground?"
"We did a short two minutes break and he must have been so tired that he immediately fell asleep." Felix stated.
"I'll take him home. He shouldn't work himself to death" you answered, crossing the room to kneel next to your boyfriend. You heard him quietly snoring.
Softly, you brushed his brown hair out of his face, rubbing his neck with the other. He stirred, eyes squeezing together as he leaned into your touch. He was so adorable when he was sleeping or waking up. You cupped his cheek, brushing over it.
"Wakey Wakey, sleepyhead" you whispered. He stirred again, his eyes half up and blinking lazy. Slowly, he came back to his senses, yawning while rubbing his eyes.
"What are you doing here, y/n?" He asked you with a small smile on his face.
"Taking you home with me so that you can sleep properly" He took your hand that still cupped his cheek in his and shaked his head.
"I need to finish practice"
"No, you're finished. Go home, Minho. Don't risk injuring yourself" Chan commented. Your boyfriend sighed. He knew that there is no point in arguing with his leader and his girlfriend. He stood up, rubbing his eyes and stretching. He definitely didn't choose the right place to fall asleep even if it was only a short amount of time.
You grabbed his hand again and led him out of the room, taking his sweater with you that he had taken off due to practising. Gently, you placed it around his shoulders so that he wouldn't get so cold during the short trip to your car. Like a toddler, he waddled after you, still sleep driven.
The shirt drive to your apartment was filled with a comfortable silence. Minho was curled up on the passenger seat, dozing off. The radio was playing quietly the entire time.
You parked the car and climbed out of your seat, walking around it to wake your boyfriend.
"Baby, come. We are home" you brushed through his fluffy hair. It was a gesture that was common to you both. Not only you would fiddle with his hair but he also with yours. Especially in the late evenings when you had trouble with sleeping due to the stress at work, he'll just move his warm fingers through it and it makes magic.
Your sleepy boyfriend waddled into your apartment, holding your hand ever so tightly.
"Come on, baby. You're still sweaty. Let me run a bath for you" He nodded and walked into the kitchen to grab a bite and something to drink.
Fast, you filled the tub with warm water, mixed with some bath oil and a bath bomb. Then, you brought new clothes to the bathroom. The door opened and Minho leaned against your back, circling his arms around you. He gave you a little peck against your neck and cuddled with you for some minutes.
"Thank you. Wanna come with me?" he mumbled. You nodded and both of you discarded your clothes and jumped into the warm water. "I'll wash your hair." you proposed and gently wetted his hair. You massaged his head while spreading the shampoo.
After his hair was clean, he layed his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. Slowly, you rubbed his back up and down, loving to feel his muscles relax and the soft skin.
After maybe hours of cuddling, the water was getting so cold that both of you decided to continue in the bed.
You found it funny how different his appearance could be. Most days, he loves sarcasm and humour and then there are days like this. Then, he is cuddly and wouldn't let you go anywhere without him. He really reminded you of a cat. He got claws knows how to use them but he is also touch starved. You loved him, your little ambitious cat.
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apple-kiwi · 1 month ago
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Skz Calling you clingy
Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, I.N.
Part 1
Authors note: This was supposed to be out on Tuesday but then I got into K-drama and kinda forgot about. I honestly hate how this turned out but whatever. I tagged everyone who asked for part 2, if you want to be untagged lmk, also if you want to be added to my tag list for this series lmk
Warning: None I think
Taglist: @heaveniseverywhere @straykidslvr @staybychoice @luckymilkshakerebel
Not proof read
Word count: 939
Days passed since your argument and you hadn't gone back to the apartment. You'd been crashing at a friend's place, needing time and space to cool down. Lee Know, on the other hand, started to realize the gravity of his mistake and how much he had messed up.
He hadn’t expected you to just up and leave, leaving him alone in the apartment. He also hadn't considered the fact that you might not come back anytime soon. His initial indifference was gradually replaced by a feeling of regret. He had stood you up, ignored your texts, and then called you clingy. The more he thought about it, the more it dawned on him how much he had screwed up.
Each day that passed, the more he longed to see you, to apologize and make it up to you somehow. And so, after a few days of stewing in his thoughts, he decided to make the first move. He sent you a text.
The text read: 'Can we talk? I messed up and I'm sorry. Please come back.'
You stared at the screen of your phone contemplating whether to respond or not. Your anger was still fresh, but the pang in your heart wouldn’t go away. After debating for a while you decided to type a simple reply.
'Alright, we can talk.'
Your short response surprised Lee Know. He hadn't expected you to agree to meet so easily but his heart slightly leaped with hope. Immediately he texted back.
'Can you come back home? I want to apologize in person.'
‘Ok.’
Lee Know’s anxiety spiked at your simple 'Ok’. Did that mean you'd come back? He waited anxiously for your arrival, pacing around the apartment. He hadn't seen you in days and it was eating him up inside.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the sound of the apartment door opening grabbed his attention and he turned to see you walk in. Your expression was neutral and your eyes were slightly puffy. You avoided eye contact with him, closing the door behind you. A tense silence hung in the air as neither of you knew how to start the conversation. But after a few moments, Lee Know spoke up, his voice laced with remorse, "I'm sorry," he took a few steps forward, still maintaining a small distance between you two. With an apologetic look, he continued, "I shouldn't have stood you up and called you clingy a brat. God, I don’t even know why I said that. I should've been there for our anniversary and I'm sorry I ruined it. I hadn’t realized I hurt you so much."
You remained silent for a while, finally meeting his gaze. He looked genuinely apologetic, his eyes showing genuine remorse. He wanted to come closer and hug you, but he was hesitant, not sure how you would react. He knew he had caused the damage and now he didn't know how to fix it. You let out a shaky exhale, “You really hurt me min…”
Lee Know looked at you, his face a mix of guilt and sadness. As you spoke, his heart felt heavy.
"I know I hurt you, I made a mistake and I'm so sorry.”
"I promise I'll make it up to you," he said softly. That day was a big day for us, and because of my selfishness, I ruined it. I was thoughtless, and I'm sorry.”
He looked at you, his eyes expressing his remorse. He took another step towards you. "I'm sorry. Do you," he hesitated for a moment, "Do you want to break up?"
Lee Know asked nervously, dreading the answer he might get, but he needed to ask, he knew what he did and said was wrong and unforgivable.
“What? No,” you say almost instantly, looking up at him, surprised he would even think that you know the argument was pretty bad and there were words that shouldn’t have been said but it was nothing that couldn't be talked out, and it was not bad enough to throw away a 2-year relationship, though if he hadn’t apologized it would have definitely been over.
He hesitantly closed the distance between you, carefully bringing his arms around you in a gentle embrace. He knew this wasn't enough to win you over but he wanted to feel your presence closer.
"I'm sorry," he repeated as he hugged you, feeling the weight of his mistake.
And he truly meant it. He wanted to fix this, to make things right. He knew it wouldn't be easy but he was ready to try. The thought of losing you had scared him and he realized that he needed to put more effort into being a better boyfriend.
“I know…” you whisper
Lee Know held onto you, not wanting to let go. He knew sorry wasn't enough, he knew he needed to prove it through his actions.
"I love you," he said softly. "Please don't leave me."
“I'm not… I won't…” You say softly, sniffling and trying to wipe your eyes
Your words provided him with some relief, a weight lifted off his shoulders.
"Thank you,” he said softly, letting go to examine your expression. He reached up gently, wiping away the last traces of tears from your cheeks. "I promise I won't mess up like that again.”
"I'll do better," he added. "I'll prioritize you more and make sure we communicate better."
He kept his arms around you, still afraid to let go. He wanted to savor this moment of having you close after days of missing it so badly. You two stay like that for a while before you playfully pinch his side, “You owe me dinner.”
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therandompagesblog · 2 months ago
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SKZ Mate Chapter 13
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Warnings: Angsty Minho, minor violence
Y/N felt a pain in her chest as she baked a load of snacks for Minho. Her omega didn't like what they were doing to Minho on his birthday. He seemed to value being close to people and took it personally when the smallest things were not recognised. She wanted to make it all better but Changbin promised he will be alright, eventhough Y/N disagreed. It wasn't fair, Minho must have felt annoyed to not go out on his birthday if it was a tradition. Y/N wouldn't have minded staying home if she couldn't go out. Y/N felt awful which was why she wanted to do something nice for him while they were out distracting him. She even spent the morning tidying his nest up, making sure it was as neat as possible for him. She even added some candles that she thought would enhance his scent. Once everything was baked she put it into tupperware boxes and left it on his side with a handwritten note for him, hoping he would appreciate it. When she walked back down into the kitchen to finish helping Felix she saw Hyunjin leaning against the alcove. His hair was pinned back into a lose ponytail, some of it falling out. He looked shattered, but somehow still looked incredibly attractive.
"Are you feeling better?" Y/N whispered, trying not to make eye contact with him as she walked passed him to Felix.
"Wouldn't you like to know." His tone laced with irony a meaning she didn't understand.
"Ah Alpha Hyunjin, your back. Did you shower?" Felix stated in excitement as he saw the alpha had returned. "Are you hungry, I made lots of food. I can make more."
"I am alright Lixie. Do not worry, I'm going out with Chan soon anyway." Hyunjin said softly as he ruffled the younger betas hair.
Y/N watched their interaction and found it quite sweet but also different. She hadn't seen Hyunjin as gentle before. Felix she had seen as gentle as if he was an omega. Felix was very docile and kind. He was always willing to please and if he got it wrong he felt immense guilt. She had never met such a sensitive beta before. It was quite cute, he reminded her of Yeosang. He was a very caring omega and always put others first. Felix noticed her staring at him and gave her a big grin, beckoning her over.
"What are you thinking about?" Felix asked as he brushed her hair behind her ear with his little finger.
"Your hair is getting longer." Y/N stated.
"Do you not like it?" Felix asked nervously.
"No. No. I really like it a lot, it's kind of sexy." Y/N blurted out, making Felix grin. His heart was being so hard in his chest in excitement.
"You're so cute Y/N-ssi." Felix stated as he pulled her into a hug, kissing all over her face, making the omega more embarrassed. "I'll keep it as long as you want. Come on let's finish this." Y/N and Felix continued to decorate the kitchen table with food, while Jisung and Jeongin where pulling some games out. It was all going great up until Minho had arrived with Seungmin and Jeongin.
"What's happened?" Y/N asked as she saw the angry look on Minho's face and an awkward Jeongin and Seungmin.
"Just stay out of my way." Minho growled as he pushed past Seungmin when Y/N grabbed hold of him with him excitement.
"Come on Minho-ah. I've got to show you something you'll-"
"I'm not in the mood omega. You better not have been in my room!" Minho shouted, snatching his arm away from her. Y/N's jaw tightened and she tried to focus on the wall in front of her so she didn't cry, but it was too late.
Felix ran towards Y/N and pulled her into his chest letting her cry. His beta instincts kicked in when he saw her disappointed face. Felix felt guilty, it was his idea to tidy Minho's room and put something's in there for him.
"Come on omega, Lix. We need to grab some candles." Hyunjin stated as he grabbed his car keys as the two wolves stared at him. "Let's go before Chan changes his mind." Felix nodded and walked to the cupboard to grab Y/N's coat only to realize she didn't have one so he grabbed Seungmins for her and gave it to her. It was a little bit too big for her but it will do.
"Let's go. Minho will be fine, he's probably feeling guilty." Hyunjin stated as he tried to hurry them up to the car. Y/N awkwardly followed, taking Felix's warm hand to the car and sitting in the back with him.
"Do not worry about Minho Hyung. He will feel guilty." Felix promised. What she didn't know was that Felix was right. The minute Minho had walked into his room and saw the note left on his side his heart shattered. He felt immense guilt as he read the note over and over again. He felt awful as he thought back to her excited face. Minho sat there in the middle of the floor and cried, knowing he had ruined it.
When they reached the shopping mall Felix took his hand in hers, holding it tightly as they followed Hyunjin to the shop.
"I'm going to go down there to get some art supplies, you stay with Felix." Hyunjin stated as Felix grabbed her hand tightly taking her to find candles.
"Ah ha. Here we go!" Felix stated as he grabbed the two and the six. Y/N realised she didn't know how old any of them where.
"Felix, how old are you?" Y/N asked.
"I'm 24. Wait, how old are you? When is your birthday. Have we missed it?" Felix asked nervously.
"No no. My birthday is February the 18th. I'm 23." Y/N answered
"Your birthday is near Jeongins. His is the 8th of February." Felix answered as he took her hand to the baking section. "I need some more tins as the other ones are not so good."
"Shall I take these to Hyunjin? He's only down there?" Y/N asked.
"Be quick." Felix stated as he looked through the tins and baking trays. Y/N nodded, pulling on Seungmins coat as she headed towards Hyunjin. Y/N pulled at the zip up to her neck, hiding her chin as she started to feel uncomfortable. There was a scent of old leather and spices around and she didn't trust it. She didn't want to panic incase it was another wolf but something in the back of her mind stated it wasn't and she was right to think that. As soon as she turned the corner she walked straight into her old alpha. Shit. Wooyoung! Y/N freezed as she stared up at him, almost holding her breath, as she slowly backed away, but he already grabbed, taking zero chances. Wooyoung wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her out of the shop.
"Where did you run off too, omega? Ay?" Wooyoung's voice burned deep into Y/N's soul, rebranding her all over again.
"Do you know how worried Hongjoong has been? He will forgive you omega. He will forgive you for hitting him over the head. He knows it wasn't your fault. He knows it's Jongho's fault." Wooyoung cooed but his tone held a lie. Y/N started to panic as he pushed her out of the shopping mall.
"Look who it is omega. It's San." Wooyoung whispered, causing Y/N to dig her heals straight into the ground. San isn't always as kind when he was angry.
"Please. Please. Please." Y/N begged as she tried to pull him off of her. Her hands pushed and slapped Wooyoung but he didn't budge. Y/N even tried to bite him as she knew her fangs could do a lot of damage but she couldn't reach him. San watched in amusement as she thrashed in Wooyoung's arm.
"Come now omega. You've played long enough." San stated as he walked towards her, grabbing her chin roughly, forcing her to meet his amber eyes. As soon as she did he slapped her straight across the face. Y/N's hand slowly reached towards her nose as she felt the blood start to drip.
"Wooyoung!" Hyunjin growled, his eyes a deep shade of red as he met them, an angry Felix behind him. Y/N had never seen this side of Felix before. He looked lethal. His jaw locked and his hands clenched ready to fight if he needed too.
"Hyunjin" Wooyoung turned around, laughing at the alpha as he held Y/N tight in his grasp. "How unfortunate we meet again."
"Let. Her. Go." Hyunjin growled, his eyes burning into Wooyoung's.
"How about no. She isn't yours." Wooyoung taunted, throwing his head back with a laugh when Felix pounced straight onto San knocking him to the ground. Felix was relentless as he punched San. Wooyoung narrowed his eyes as he realised he underestimated Felix. Hyunjin could tell he was panicking as he slowly started to back away with Y/N still in his grasp. Hyunjin crouched slightly waiting for Wooyoung to relax his hold so he could pull Y/N back. He wanted to grab her without hurting her too much but knew there might be some damage.
"Little wolf." Hyunjin called, giving her a soft look before he grabbed her the bottom of her coat trying to drag her foreword when Wooyoung had pulled her back by the neck, causing Y/N to help. Hyunjin pushed forward and hit the side of Wooyoung's face causing the alpha to throw the omega to the side. As soon as Y/N hit the concrete floor she took a quick glance to see Felix pushing San's head to the side when she heard a snap. Felix had killed San.
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godslino · 8 months ago
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IN BLOOM | jisung first date series. second chance lovers.
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pairing: jisung x fem!reader word count: 13.2k genre: childhood friends au, angst, fluff, songwriter!jisung, florist!reader warnings: swearing, minor character death, grief/loss (nothing to do with any of the members!) summary: it's february. the tulips are in bloom. jisung is back.
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chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin · · · ♡ series masterlist · · · ♡ taglist · · · ♡
a/n: *taps mic* hello?? is this thing on?? oh good. yes. hi. hello! it's been a while, as most of you can tell. thank you all SO MUCH for sticking around. if you've been reading my asks you'll know that march and april were rough months for me personally. shout out to my anons and mutuals who kept my spirits high and made my days brighter. uhhh, this was originally supposed to be a stand alone fic but i figured hey, what the hell, and made it into jisung's first date chapter. it's pretty heavy stuff. lots of feelings, lots of love. i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it! again, thank you so much for waiting for me. i'll be back soon with more updates! all the love <3
also thank you kenzie for being such a light during all of this. i hope all my screaming in your messages was worth it!
“All of these had to be pulled.” Hyunjin huffs, dropping a few crates just past the doorway. 
“Again?” you ask, hands on your hips as you stare at yet another wasted supply. “I don’t understand, they sold so well last year.”
Hyunjin gives you a sad smile. “It’ll pick up eventually, don’t worry. I mean the holidays just finished and business usually slows down in the months after anyways.”
He’s being sincere, you know that. But there’s a part of you that also knows it’s a lot more than just the usual ebb and flow of sales. He’s being nice for your sake.
“Maybe we could try coming up with other ideas?” he suggests, because Hyunjin is nothing if not kind. Always willing, always finding a way.
He moves past you to grab a fresh pair of gloves. The ones he’s wearing are dirty, pollen-stained and ripped at the edges. 
“You’ve always been really good at basket arrangements. We could try to make some for Valentine's Day. Different sizes, maybe? The big ones will probably do well for online orders since they’re more optimal for things like office deliveries and stuff like that.”
You hum in approval. “True. I mean, I was kind of worried we would have to skip out on deliveries this year since we don’t have the manpower to handle all of that, but I think Jeongin’s been looking to pick up hours around here again. He said something about his program giving them a month of independent study, so he’ll be home for a bit.” you say, scribbling down a reminder in your notebook. “I could ask him to help with driving the truck in his free time?”
Hyunjin lights up– he always does when Jeongin is mentioned. 
It’s been a lot quieter ever since he left for college. There were so many tears and so many hugs that were met with countless 'you guys are dramatic's in return. But it’s hard to not feel sad when people leave town; when they decide the borders lined with apple trees and rice fields aren’t enough to stop their dreams from blooming into more than what’s capable of being pursued here.
That, unsurprisingly, is something you know all too well.
“Can’t believe he’s driving.” Hyunjin laments as he wipes his floral scissors with a rag. “I used to spend my days changing his diapers and spoon feeding him redbulls– but now? Driving? My baby is all grown up.” he fake sniffles. “By the way, I’m gonna take my fifteen after I’m done snipping these tulips.”
You snort, bending down to take the crates of wilted flowers to the back for disposal. Hyunjin moves to help but you shake him off.
“Sounds good. Also, don’t let Innie hear you say that. I’m about a thousand percent sure he has the strength needed to throw you into the dumpster with one arm now.”
“My baby would never do that to me!” Hyunjin calls out as you round the corner, bumping open the back door with your hip. 
February brings a lot of rain in Jeju. Today is no different; fat drops landing on your head as soon as you stumble out into the alley behind the shop. Footsteps heavy on wet brick, you curse under your breath as you run as fast as you can to the dumpster.
There’s still a few supply boxes from yesterday’s shipment laying around. You meant to bring them in, but you were so exhausted that it slipped your mind while you struggled to make sure everything inside the shop was figured out.
Scrambling, you haul them in one by one, shoes squeaking against the floor as you alternate in and out, soggy cardboard pressed against the front of your apron. 
Hyunjin’s on break. A necessary one at that. You can’t bother him, especially not when he’s done enough by taking on more responsibility both as a physical worker and a newly actualized business partner recently. A few stacks of boxes and wet hair seem like a fair trade off for what he’s had to sacrifice in the past year now.
“Idiot,” you mumble, cursing yourself for carelessness. Your slip ups have been more frequent lately, evident in the way you constantly forget things and can’t seem to push away the haziness clouding your mind. 
If it weren’t for the timing of it all, you’d blame it on the weather. The gloominess. The overcast skies probably have some sort of hand in your lack of clarity. Shrouded.
But it’s February. And in Jeju— it rains.
By the time you make it back inside, you’re drenched. 
“You look like you just got dunked in a pool.” 
You frown, ringing your hair out into the trash bin by the door. It’ll definitely take time to dry off, both your hair and your clothes are soaked through.
Hyunjin watches with an amused look, arms crossed as he leans his back against the counter.
“Might as well have. It’s insane out there.” you sigh. “How was your break?”
You look up to find that his face has gone unreadable.
“Yeah, about that…” Hyunjin trails off, voice suddenly smaller than before.
“Everything okay?” 
“Yeah, yeah it’s just–” Hyunjin chews at his bottom lip.
You push past him into the supply room to switch out your apron just as he says, “Do you mind if I leave a little early today?”
You scoff, turning to face him. “Hwang Hyunjin,” you scold, lips twitching when he visibly startles at your tone, “You don’t have to ask me that. We’re partners now, remember? We run this place.” 
He shifts on his feet, still unsure.
“Besides,” you huff, tying a knot behind your back, “We were friends way before that, too. You don’t have to be all proper with me. Of course you can leave early. It’s slow today, I can take care of it.”
Hyunjin sighs after contemplating for a second. “Are you sure you’ll be okay, though?” 
When he stares at you for a moment too long, you know the real reason for his hesitation. It makes something twist deep in your gut.
Guilt, maybe, amongst other things.
“Of course.” you shrug, doing your best to seem nonchalant. 
Hyunjin’s ability to read people is kind of intense, a little scary at times. You happen to be one of his favorite subjects in that regard.
“Have fun. Tell Minah I said hi.”
He pales, sputtering around words as he struggles to say something. It’s cute, his plump lips opening and closing, eyes wild.
“I’m not going to see her! I’m–it’s just a movie! How did you—God, you’re so annoying. I should’ve made you trim the tulips. Hah!”
You giggle. “It’s funny that you think I wouldn’t know, especially with the way you love to actually make yourself look busy whenever she stops by to say hi.”
“I am busy.” he mumbles, looking away. “I just emphasize it a lot more when she’s here.”
“Sure,” you roll your eyes, “Let’s go with that.”
He whines a couple more times, trails after you around the shop and laughs when you swat him away with a rolled up newspaper that’s used for wrapping vases.
It’s loud. Easy. Hyunjin is a gentle reminder that normalcy still exists in your day to day, even if it’s hard to find. 
When he finally decides to leave, he lingers for a moment, triple checks that you’ll be okay. You roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time today, but deep down you’re grateful. 
“Love you,” he says, one foot out the door. “Call me if you need anything.”
You shake your head, ignoring him. “Love you too.” 
And then he’s gone, a skip in his step as he heads down the sidewalk, leaving you with nothing but freshly-trimmed tulips and the sound of rain. 
“Herb snips, shears, tape…” you mumble, scanning the supply shelf. 
There’s not much to do in-shop right now. Almost all the arrangements have been tended to by Hyunjin already, his specialty being his keen eye. That’s why he handles the appeal of the shop, leaving you to figure out all the logistics. Learning it all was easier said than done.
In reality, it was never your intention to take over the shop at all. 
“When I die,” your grandma would always say, ignoring the way you groaned and begged her to stop bringing it up, “Sell this place. Use the money for something worthwhile. A trip to Greece, maybe?”
“Nana,” you would scold, glaring at her where she stood next to you, trimming a batch of roses.
Wrinkled hands that still held all the skill of youth. Fingers moving at a speed others could only ever dream of having– you included.
Your grandma handled flowers with the same amount of care she did everything else. It’s no wonder that when they grew they would lean in her direction, drawn to her like they would be the sun. 
“I’m not selling this place. It’s too special, too important. A vacation only lasts so long, Nana. This is forever.”
She would smile, turn petals over in her hand. Sometimes the marigolds would match the glow in her eyes, a testament to the belief you harbored as a child that she had the ability to sprout blossoms from her fingertips.
“The one thing you shouldn’t do, my dear, is rely on forever. Because that, too, is uncertain.”
You wish you hadn’t been so hard headed. Wish that you would’ve believed her, taken the time to listen, cherished the moment a little bit longer instead of relying on the promise of tomorrow.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Your grandmother was a wonderful woman.
She’ll be with you in your heart, forever.
Oh, what a lie forever is.
The shop stays empty for the rest of the day. There were a few passersby, all of whom simply stopped to scan the arrangements along the windows before giving a polite nod and carrying on their way. 
Realistically, the shop has no problem with attracting customers. It’s a sight to behold: mid-floor to ceiling windows with various displays, hanging baskets of winding greenery, countless arrangements that fill the shelves and add a pop of color, and a wide assortment of flowers for each season. 
The real issue lies in your inability to sell. Most people regard the place as being good for nothing more than window shopping and the usual photo-op.
Business has slowed since your Grandma passed; since you took over as the sole owner and were suddenly face to face with the task of making decisions in the shop’s best interest– both integrity wise and from a business standpoint.
“I know, I know,” you say around the pen cap between your teeth, “You used to be the brains around here, not me. I’m not creative enough for all of this, you know? No matter how much I try to be.”
You look up from where your notebook lays open, dozens of scribbles for arrangement ideas and planning. The picture on the wall stares at you, unmoving, eyes as bright as marigolds.
“Don’t give me that look.” 
She stares. A gaze that holds all the answers while also saying nothing at all.
“Ugh.” you groan, leaning your palms on the desk.
You allow your head to hang forward, defeated, exhaustion flooding your bones. 
Just as you’re about to speak again, to complain about yet another thing that probably has her rolling around in her grave, the bell at the front counter dings.
The clock on the desk reads 6:55pm, five minutes until close. You hadn’t even heard anyone come in.
“Be right there!” you call out, rushing to grab your apron from where you’d thrown it on one of the chairs. 
In your haste, the box of seed packets you’d been inventorying goes tumbling to the floor.
“Fuck,” you mutter, bending down to pick everything up. One more thing to add to the list today. 
Off-kilter. Disoriented. Exhausted. 
You sniffle a few times, blinking against the sting behind your eyes as you stand up to put the box back in its place.
One deep breath, a shake of your shoulders. Just enough to chase it all away until later. 
“Sorry about that,” you say cheerily, pushing past the hanging beads that separate the front of the shop from the back. “How can I help you?”
There’s a stranger, his back turned, attention focused on a batch of tulips. Freshly cut. White, blue, purple.
You realize, belatedly, that you’d forgotten to grab your apron in your haste to clean up the seed packets. Another slip up. Nana always prided herself in her apron, wore it like a badge of honor, raised you to do the same.
Just as you spin around to grab it, the stranger says, “It’s okay. I just, um, I wanted to say hi.”
You freeze. There’s a long moment where his voice rings loud in your ears, reverberates against the walls of your brain until it travels through your blood, the feeling like wildfire in your veins until it settles deep in the pit of your stomach. 
Slowly, you turn, heart clamoring in your chest, threatening to stop altogether as soon as you come face to face with the one person you never thought you’d see again.
Because there, at the front of the store, is Jisung.
Jisung, with wide eyes and parted lips. Jisung, with hair that still curls at the ends and falls in shags around his face. Jisung, broader, more actualized, now grown into his features but still undeniably soft around the edges. Jisung, with thick framed glasses pushed up his nose and silver hoops dangling from his ears. 
A stranger. But undoubtedly Jisung. 
“You look…nice.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly with his free hand.
Three words is all it takes. Ice turns to fire. The blood that had drained from your face returns with the blaze of a thousand suns, anger burning your throat. 
You reach forward, grab the remote for the neon Open sign and click the power button. Jisung watches in confusion.
“The shop is closed.” you manage on a shaky breath.
Jisung sighs, something heavy. “Listen, I’m—”
“The shop–” you try again, louder, “–is closed.” 
Jisung stares. His eyes are still the same velvety brown; big and round and just as you remember. 
There was once a time where the sight of Jisung in your Grandma’s shop made your heart sing. A soft tune, the thrum of a thousand harps, a song only for him.
His heart-shaped smile as he helped her hammer some of the shelves onto the wall. The sound of his laughter whenever you’d enter a sneezing fit from accidentally rubbing your face with a gloved hand. His rosy cheeks, burnt from the wind whipping past his face as he ran on foot to make sure you were okay the one time an angry customer smashed a vase on the floor and you called him crying.
But now, seeing him here, a stranger in a body you once knew like the back of your hand— it feels wrong. 
“I…” he trails off, registering the way your fists are clenched at your sides. 
“Okay,” he resigns, licking his lips. “I, uh– have a good night.”
He gives you one last look, bottom lip pulled tight between his teeth, and then slips out the door. You watch his retreating figure through the glass panel, dark gray skies muting the sound of your rattling heart.
It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. Jisung is back.
And in Jeju– it rains.
There’s an apple tree in the middle of town where Jisung told you he loved you for the first and last time. 
Off the corner, a few minutes down the road from where your houses stand a mere five hundred feet away from one another.
Your grandparents were farmers. Your grandma started her floral business a few years before you were born, a dream she always had that your grandpa urged her to pursue once he decided to sell the animals to a younger, more capable couple that could take care of them. 
Jisung’s parents, new residents on the island, looking to settle down and start a family. 
That’s how it happens. Yours and Jisung’s story, two authors of the same book, destined since the start.
Jisung was born on the same night your mother left you at your grandparents’ doorstep. One note, an apology, is all you’ve ever known about her. Your grandma never cared to indulge you. You’re glad in a way. She provided more than enough love to make sure you never felt an absence in her wake. 
The townspeople used to say you and Jisung were soulmates. Something about the heavens knowing he would need a friend, hence why you were delivered that night. From that moment on, the two of you were inseparable. 
Attached at the hip, you and Jisung grew up together. First steps, first birthdays, firsts for everything under the sun.
Jisung was there in the morning to walk with you to school and he was there at night when the two of you tucked into bed, sleepovers a regular occurrence, both of you counting the pale green stick-on stars dotting his ceiling until you fell asleep. 
Jisung was always around. He held your hand and walked with you to the nurse’s office the first time you got stung by a bee. He wiped your eyes when the boy you liked told you he only ever saw you as a friend, your first rejection. He sat with you under the stars the night your grandpa died, your face tucked into his neck as you stained the collar of his shirt with tears until you were too tired to cry. In the years that followed, he took care of you and your grandma like the two of you were his own. 
Jisung, for lack of a better word, was your first forever.
“You could come with me, you know.” 
Under the stars, real ones that time, Jisung had turned to you and offered the world. 
The air was cold. The apple tree was bare.
“It’ll be fun. We’ll be together, we’ll experience new things. I can do music and you can study all that history stuff you like to learn about. You know, nerdy things.”
“They’re not nerdy things, Ji. Don’t you know everything we have now is because of what’s happened before us?” you’d asked. “Doesn’t it make you wonder? Learning about the past helps us better understand the present, and ultimately the future.”
Jisung had hummed softly, an agreement. “I don’t care about the future, though.” he’d said. “I care about right now. You, me, this.” 
When you turned to look at him, he propped himself up on one elbow and stared down at you from above as the moon casted a halo around his head. 
“I love you,” he whispered, “And I want you to come with me.”
Jisung, with all the stars in his eyes and a heart full of dreams. Jisung, with the world at his fingertips and the ambition to make it his own. 
You, with all your hopes stuffed tight into a suitcase and chained to a boulder, thrown into the ocean. Sinking and sinking until it hit the bottom.
“I love you too,” you whispered back.
Images of marigolds flashed behind your eyes when you closed them, a tear rolling down your cheek. Jisung’s mouth was soft when he kissed it away, salt on his lips. Burning. 
“But I can’t.” you choked. 
Under the apple tree, Jisung told you he loved you for the first and last time. He promised that the distance would be no match for him, that he would traverse oceans to find his way back. He promised forever.
It was February. The tulips were in bloom. Jisung left to pursue his dreams with a guitar on his back and your heart in his hands. Your understanding of forever was shot at point blank. The bullet passed clean through you. 
And in Jeju– it rained.
“I think you should talk to him.”
The sun is out today. Perfect weather for another field harvest. The distributor had called you early in the morning to ask if you’d be willing to accept a drop off even though it’s the weekend. You’d agreed, calling in your most reliable help for the job.
“And I think you’re not helping.” you huff, snipping the head off another hyacinth.
“Agreed,” Hyunjin parrots from beside you, currently in the middle of putting together an arrangement, “This guy sounds like a total dick.”
Chan sighs from behind the two of you, his knees knocking against the legs of the desk when he swivels back and forth in the chair. 
Besides Hyunjin and Jeongin, both of whom moved into town after you’d already graduated, and of course, Jisung– Chan is your oldest friend. 
Chan was also a neighbor of yours. Three years older than you and Jisung, he was the one who acted as a role model for the two of you when growing up. Nowadays he helps his parents run the largest orange grove on the island during the day and DJs one of the clubs in the tourism hub at night. 
“Jisung’s not a dick, he’s just–”
“An asshole.” you finish, smirking when Hyunjin cackles. 
Chan sighs. Again. “Yeah okay, I’ll give you that one.”
“Listen, I know I’ve never met him, but isn’t it weird that he just, like, showed up?” Hyunjin asks, setting down his scissors. You continue trimming the hyacinths, listening halfheartedly.
“I mean, think about it. Dude disappears to pursue music, right? He’s gone for what– three years?”
“Four.” you correct.
“God, even worse.” he grimaces.
“But yeah, okay, four years. And then boom! He just strolls in through the front door without so much as a word during the time he was gone? No letters, no phone calls, not even a damn visit. Nothing! All so he can pop up and go ‘oh, you look nice’? Come on.” he scoffs, crossing his arms.
You wince, caught off guard because you’ve never really heard it phrased as bluntly as Hyunjin put it just then. It’s no surprise that he’s annoyed, having only just heard the full story thirty minutes ago. He’d been shocked, partly because you never told him and also because he just couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Okay, yes, he was wrong for that. But isn’t part of you even just the least bit curious as to why?” 
You pause mid-snip, mulling Chan’s words over in your head.
The most frustrating part about it all is that you are curious. You wish you weren’t, though. Not when you’ve spent the past four years trying to convince yourself that you don’t need to know what Jisung’s been up to, don’t need to know if he’s been okay since he clearly held no concern for you in that regard anyways.
“What?” you ask when you realize that both boys are staring at you. 
“Well?” Hyunjin pushes. “Are you?”
You shrug. “No, not really.” 
There’s a total of five seconds that pass before Hyunjin is stomping over and hauling Chan up out of his chair, pushing him towards the front door as he protests.
“Out! Out, out, out, we have important business matters to discuss.”
“But we were supposed to get lunch—!”
“We’re taking a rain check!” Hyunjin fights back, shoving him out of the shop before he has a chance to answer. He drops the shade to cover the glass, Chan’s sad figure left alone on the other side.
You gape at him. “What was that for?”
Hyunjin scoffs. “You think you’re convincing? Think again.” 
He hops up on to the counter and gestures for you to do the same. When you do, he pulls you closer, grabs your hand in his, and pushes your head down until it’s resting on his shoulder. 
“Tell me the truth now,” he says, soft. “I know there’s more to it.”
Hyunjin’s warm to the touch. The heat seeps through the fabric of his shirt, igniting the skin of your cheek until you feel like you’re standing too close to the sun. A star. Hyunjin is a light in your tunnel.
“I am curious,” you start, “About him, I mean. I’ve– I don’t know. It’s been so long. I tried to pretend I didn’t care when I saw him, but the minute I looked into his eyes it was like I was eighteen again. Eighteen and happy and looking at someone that I always thought would be there, you know?” 
Hyunjin hums but doesn’t say anything. He squeezes your hand once, a signal to keep going. 
“I’m scared, though. Part of me doesn’t want to know.”
Hyunjin takes a deep breath. “What are you scared of?”
Through the gaps in the beads you can see into your office, the picture of your Grandma hanging on the wall. She stares at you, unblinking. 
“What if he tells me that it’s true?” you ask, lifting your head to look up at him. “What if he says that I was right, that he didn’t care? That he left and didn’t want to call because it no longer mattered to him? That he loves his life there and only came back to clear his own conscience?” 
“Oh honey,” Hyunjin soothes, pulling you into his chest. You hadn’t realized you were crying, that the anger and fear had bubbled over until there were tears falling down your cheeks, wetting the fabric of Hyunjin’s sweater. 
He lets you cry for a while. It’s nothing new; Hyunjin has seen you break down countless times. He’s been there through the worst of it, held your hand even in the aftermath. He’s picked you up off the floor more times than you can count, has grounded you when you felt like the world was gonna open up beneath you and swallow you whole. Salt of the earth, returning you to its core.
Once you’ve quieted into nothing more than shallow breaths and a few scattered hiccups, Hyunjin speaks again.
“Can you be honest with me?”
You nod, the hair stuck to your cheek with tears rubbing against his shoulder. 
“Do you love him?”
It nearly knocks the wind out of you. This concept, so foreign to you now, shoved to the back of your mind to make room for the things that matter most. Hospital visits, labor cuts, wage increases— none of it left any room for love, let alone the thought of someone else. Especially someone as all-consuming as Jisung.
Slowly, you inhale, breath shaking on the exhale. Hyunjin squeezes your hand to remind you that he’s there.
“I don’t think I ever stopped, Hyune.”
The silence stretches thin. The realization is dizzying. Years of suppressed emotions, of telling yourself and everyone around you that it wasn’t a big deal. The sad eyes of the townspeople whenever they’d see you sitting beneath the apple tree. The gentle touch of your grandma’s hand when she’d find you on the front steps alone, staring at the stars. The soft hum of the radio in the shop, set to a playlist of all the songs he’s written, the only reminder that somewhere out there he was doing well.
The final crack in the dam, its water pushing until it gives way.
“Then you owe it to yourself,” Hyunjin says. “You owe it to your heart to get an answer. Free yourself from this pain, love. Don’t let yourself suffer forever.”
Forever. That word again. No matter how many times you’ve tried to escape it, it always comes back.
“It’s gonna hurt.” he sighs, tightening his grip when you sniffle. “It’s gonna hurt so fucking bad, babe. But you can take it. You’ve got people who love you enough to stand in front of you and soften the blow from time to time. But you’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
He hops down from the counter and moves to stand in front of you, right between your legs. Placing both hands on your shoulders, he pushes until you’re sitting with your back straight and lifts your chin. 
“You deserve an answer.” he says, with conviction this time. “Okay?”
He lets his thumb swipe beneath your eyes, smiles softly. Unconditional— that’s what he is. Hyunjin burns brighter than any star in your sky, the heat wrapping its arms around you like it’s too scared to let go, to watch you freeze and die out like so many others. 
“I don’t deserve you, though.” you say, laughing wetly when he rolls his eyes.
“Shut up,” he chuckles, pulling you in for a hug, “You deserve everything and more.”
When Jisung comes into the shop two days later, you’re ready for it. 
Chan had talked to him. No surprise, really, not when he’s been letting him crash in his spare room ever since he figured out that he was holed up in one of the hotels out in the tourism hub. 
If there’s one thing about Chan, it’s that he’d rip the shirt off his back to clothe anyone in need. Housing a friend is nothing, especially when that friend is Jisung.
“I don’t know how much of a consolation this is,” he’d said nervously, watching as you regarded him with an expectant look, “But he’s pretty cut up about you not wanting to see him. Which, I know, is stupid. He is the one who fucked up. But I just– I don’t know. I’ve never seen him like this, I guess.”
It’s not a consolation, not really. Knowing that Jisung is struggling is far from anything you want to hear. 
Sure, there’s anger present. Anyone would be stupid to not feel the least bit frustrated with what’s happened. Years lost, time stripped away. But you’ve long since come to terms with it, the anger turning to sadness in the meantime.
“Also, he leaves tomorrow.” Chan smiled sadly. “He really wants to talk to you before then.”
Hyunjin left early again today to give the two of you space. Not before making a show of his own though, threatening to incite violence with his arms that are supposedly ‘shredded’ from years of lifting boxes filled with petunias. 
The shop is slow again, not many sales nor a lot of foot traffic. Usually when the sun is out there’s more to do; people to see, smiles to give. But there’s nothing, just the chirping of birds and the sound of cars rolling by. 
Maybe the world knows that this is what you need. The calm before the storm. 
Five minutes until close. You’ve spent most of the day pacing back and forth. Waiting. Anticipating. 
Chan had said Jisung planned on stopping by, trying again. You’d told him that was okay, and his eyes lit up. Too much hope, maybe, that something might come of this. 
You’re seated in the back office, staring at marigold colored irises when the front door opens. You hear it this time, ears fine tuned, waiting. 
Slowly, you stand, make your way to the front. You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until you pull back the beaded curtain and Jisung’s figure comes into view. 
He looks the same as he did the other day: curled hair, thick glasses, parted lips. His sweater, fluffy and striped, hangs off of his shoulders in a way that boxes off his tapered waist, one that you know is hidden beneath all the layers. The sleeves are way too long judging by the way it curls over his fingers. 
“Hi.” he breathes out, watching as you step into full view.
You blink. “Hi, Jisung.”
His name feels weird on your tongue. Bitter. It’s been years since you uttered it, forbidding yourself from the luxury out of fear that it would make his absence more real. Talking about him in the past tense always scared you off before you could even get the chance. 
“How– How’ve you been?” he chews on the inside of his lip.
You want to scold him, tell him to stop the habit just like you always would in the past. He’d make a joke then, tell you to kiss him so that he had something else to do instead. You would laugh, feign disgust, but in the back of your mind you’d wanted it more than anything. 
You’d waited for it, the day you could kiss him without warning and melt into his touch as he kissed you back. Another stupid bet on forever; the belief that you had all the time in the world for things to get to that point.
“I’ve been better.” you say, taking a deep breath. “What about you?”
Good, you think. He’s been good. He looks good. He doesn’t need this place.
“Me too.” he says instead. “I’ve been better.”
You don’t know what to say to that. Silence fills the room, heavy on both your chests. The anticipation feels like it might kill you before anything else does. 
“I’m sorry that–”
“Is that all you came here to say?” you cut him off.
“What?” he asks, confused. “No, I– no.”
“What, then? What is it you want to say, Jisung?” your voice is firm. He winces when his name leaves your mouth. “Because, honestly, I’ve waited all this time to hear literally anything from you, and if all that comes out of this is that you’ve ‘been better’ I might actually lose my fucking mind.”
The words tumble out faster than you intend. You can’t help it, not with the way anxiety has been bubbling over in your chest since the moment you woke up this morning. You could barely sleep last night, not when you were playing out every possible scenario in your head, the anticipation of it all making your sheets feel scratchy against your skin and the lumps in your pillow more discernible. 
“No, no, of course I wouldn’t do that.” he says quickly. “It's just that I didn’t know where to start. I don’t know how much you’ll allow me to say, what the boundary is here. I didn’t want to just barge in and demand you listen to me. You don’t owe me that. You don’t owe me anything. Not after what I did.”
What I did, his voice rings loud in your ears. He’s aware of it, of the pain he caused. 
He takes a step forward, and then another, again and again until he’s right up against the front counter, an arm’s length away. 
Your breath catches then, when you see him up close for the first time in four years, see the way he’s grown and changed with your own eyes. 
Stubble dotting his chin, laugh lines around his mouth, the dip and curve of the bow above his lips that you always loved. Brown eyes, soil and stardust. 
“Tell me what your conditions are,” he says quietly, “And I’ll give you every explanation I have.”
The sincerity on his face is blinding. Your stomach twists at the thought of hearing what he has to say, that same fear brewing in the pit of it. You take a deep breath, feel the phantom ghost of a hand squeezing yours and a crescent moon eye smile. 
“I waited four years for you.” you say.
“I know.”
“I trusted that you’d be back. That you would keep in touch during the time you were gone.”
“I–” his voice cracks. “I know.”
“You lied to me.”
Jisung tips his head back then. Swallows down a lump in his throat. Blinks rapidly at the ceiling, veins of ivy crawling along the expanse of it.
“I know.”
“So you owe me everything. I deserve that. I deserve answers.”
When he brings his head down to look at you, it’s unreadable. A mix of emotions that you aren’t familiar enough with anymore to decipher. Fear, guilt, sorrow. Hope, too. Maybe.
You stare at him head on, fully letting your eyes meet for the first time in what feels like an eternity. He holds your gaze, unwavering. Determined. The sight makes your heart clench. 
“Okay,” he says after a beat of silence. “Okay. I can do that.”
Despite the ever-growing mountain of things to address, you decide that the first thing you want to hear from Jisung is about his time in Seoul. 
You’re only human, after all.
Best friends from the start– you can’t stop yourself from wondering what life has been like for him. Jisung’s always been good at storytelling, animated in his features and gestures to the point that you’d be rolling around and clutching your stomach from laughter. It’s one of the things you missed the most, just talking and being present in one another’s lives.
The two of you end up at one of the diners down the road. The owners, an elderly couple, coo as soon as they catch sight of you.
“My flower girl,” the old lady, Mrs. Kim, greets.
“Mrs. Kim,” you beam, moving in for a hug. When you pull away, Jisung is behind you, hands clasped behind his back and feet together like he has his tail between his legs.
“Halmeoni,” you say, gesturing at him, “Do you remember Jisungie?” 
His eyes go wide at the nickname, and you try to ignore the heat creeping up your neck, avoiding his gaze and instead watching as Mrs. Kim blinks in surprise.
“Oh! Oh my goodness, our Jisungie? Honey! Honey, look, Jisung is here! Oh you crazy boy,” she scolds, rushing forward to hit his shoulder and pull him in for a hug. “Where have you been? It’s been ages!” 
Jisung lets out an oof! as her body slams into him, all of his anxiousness dissolving into laughter as he hugs her back. 
“Hi Mrs. Kim, how have you been?” 
“Me?” she asks, pulling him away to hold at arm’s length, “Nevermind about me! I’m old! How have you been?”
Good, you think again, a mimic of earlier. Jisungs eyes flit over to yours for the smallest of moments before he answers.
“Better,” he says. “I’m doing better.”
Once both Mr. and Mrs. Kim are done doting over the both of you, they seat you by the window.
The island is always beautiful on sunny days: trees swaying, golden rays painting the rooftops in hues of pink and orange, the indigo shimmer of the ocean off in the distance.
“So,” you say, catching Jisung’s attention, “Tell me about Seoul.”
He hums. “It’s busy. Stinks. Lots of people.”
“Dream come true, yeah?” you joke, taking a sip of your water.
Jisung chuckles. “You could say that, I guess.”
“I mean, it was yours.”
“It was.” he sighs, looking down at the table. “I don’t know. It’s nice. I met good people, made even better connections. I live in this one bedroom studio apartment just outside of Itaewon, so I’m close to where all the foreigners hang out. I’ve learned a lot, gained a lot of inspiration for my music.”
You follow along, staring at him intently. His mouth, still heart-shaped, twitches when he catches you in the act.
You clear your throat, glancing away. “Yeah, I’ve– uh, I’ve heard some of your songs.”
He raises his eyebrows, almost like he hadn’t expected you to say that. “Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, I hear them on the radio sometimes.” A lie. “It usually takes me a second to realize that it’s you.” Another lie. “But they’re good, you’re doing well.”
Pink dusts the tops of Jisung’s cheeks as he turns back to the window, clearing his throat.
He looks younger like this, like he’s still the same boy who would sit across from you all those years ago. Cherry-stained lips and a smile so bright it put the sun to shame.
He talks a bit more about his music, about how he’s with a good company that gives him creative freedom and enough support to pursue more if he desires.
His eyes light up when he tells you about his studio, a small room on the fifth floor of a building in the middle of the city where he does all of his writing. It’s equipped with an entire soundboard, full of instruments that he says he’s been able to get signed by artists that come in and out. Most notably, his guitar, the same one he left with. 
Slowly, like a flower blossoming, petals opening one by one, you feel yourself falling back into step with him.
Everything is so familiar: the curve of his smile, the tilt in his voice when he gets excited, the rumble of laughter when he recounts an embarrassing run-in with an A-list celebrity in the company’s cafeteria. He shares stories that fill your heart as the two of you fill your stomachs.
But with the ease comes something more, something you recognize as longing. You hadn’t realized how much you longed to be there through this part of his life, how you wished you’d been the one to answer a video call as he showed off his apartment the first day he moved in, his company badge when it was newly issued, every moment of happiness that you’d been absent for just as much as he was absent for yours.
He seems to share the same sentiment then, when he sets down his fork and stares at his empty plate. 
“You run the shop now,” he says, “How’s that been?”
You purse your lips, nodding your head slowly. You knew this conversation would happen, that it was coming.
“It’s good, I guess. Been almost a year now since, uh, it was left to me.” you shrug. “I’m not alone though, Hyunjin is a big help. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
Jisung noticeably bristles. Eyebrows pulled together, staring more intently at a crumb on his plate. It looks like there’s a lot he wants to say, like he can’t find the words to say them.
So, naturally, you do it for him. 
“I assume Chan told you so I wouldn’t have to, by the way.”
He looks up then, as if he wasn’t expecting you to address the very obvious elephant in the room.
“He did, yes.” Jisung says after a while. His voice is quiet, gentle, like he’s walking on eggshells. “I– I didn’t know how to bring it up. I assume you’ve heard it all already but– I really, really am sorry to hear about Nana.”
The way her name sounds coming out of his mouth turns your mind to static.
Suddenly you’re in the hospital again, monitors beeping, hands as soft as petals cradled in your own and wishing that you could bury your face in a familiar neck as you cried and watched the marigolds wilt. 
“I don’t need an apology for that.” you croak, blinking back tears. Jisung is somewhere in your periphery, your vision blurry around the edges.
“It wasn’t sad. Her life, I mean. It was full. Of love. Of light. She left this place happy. That’s what she told me, at least.”
You take a deep breath. “So don’t be sorry about it.”
Jisung sniffles, and the sound shoots straight through your chest. 
“I know. I just– I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should’ve been. I had no idea that–”
“Nobody did, Jisung. Don’t punish yourself for that.”
He sees it then, when you finally meet his eyes, the acceptance. You’ve come to terms with things a long time ago, have fought tooth and nail to come out on the other side of all the guilt and resentment and grief alive. Scathed, but alive nonetheless.
“You’re right.” he sighs, wiping at his eyes quickly. “She’d probably yell at me for saying that.”
You laugh, suddenly, the noise startling him. Jisung looks at you like you’re crazy.
“I think she has a lot more to yell at you for than being sorry that she died.”
The bluntness punches a chuckle out of him, and you giggle at the thought.
Your grandmother was always such an outspoken person. She always said what was on her mind, speaking it loud. There’s no doubt that if she was here she’d be berating Jisung, smacking him upside the head before pulling him into a hug and cooking his favorite meal. Tough love, but still, love.
“She would’ve loved to be able to see you.” you say once your laughter dies out, the air a bit lighter between the two of you. “She always wondered if you’d grow your hair out without her around to nag you about keeping it short.” 
He reaches up to run a hand through his curls, the strands falling around his face in a way that has your heart stammering in your chest.
“Well, clearly I don’t know how to listen.”
“No, you don’t.”
Jisung smiles softly. “Maybe I’ll cut it now. You know, since I’m here. And because I know she’d want me to.”
You watch him carefully, searching his eyes. For what, you don’t know. All that’s in them are stars. 
“Yeah,” you say quietly. “You’re here.”
By the time the two of you leave the diner, stomachs full and enough bags of extra side dishes hanging off of your arms to last you at least two weeks, courtesy of Mrs. Kim, the sun is almost fully set. 
The ocean is calm, the evening breeze just barely brushing the surface of the tide. Jisung walks in step with you down the street, one side of his face cast in a glow from the sun’s fading rays. 
“Do you think you’d maybe want to stop by the arcade that Old Man Park runs? Just for a little?”
You snort. “Why? So I can embarrass you?”
“Hey!” he puts a hand on his chest, offended. “I’ll have you know that I let you win all those times.”
“How do you let someone win after spending hours practicing while I worked at the shop?”
“I was being nice!”
“Uh huh.”
“Don’t believe me?” he grins. You try not to look, afraid of how bad your blood pressure might spike from the sight. 
“I’ll have you know that I’m one of the best Kart Rider players in the PC Bang scene back in Seoul.”
“Jisung,” you scold, “That’s a computer game. These are coin-ops. There’s way more skill needed.”
“No there isn’t!”
He knocks his shoulder against yours, tucking his chin to his chest to hide his smile when you try to fight back.
It’s easy. Nice. There’s a soft melody echoing in the dust-covered chambers of your heart. You still know all the chords.
Old Man Park’s arcade is a few doors down from the shop. You stop there to drop off the food, spare a glance in the mirror hanging in your office to fix your hair.
Your grandma’s picture stares at you from the other wall, eyes bright.
“Love you,” you say, kissing the skin of your fingertips and pressing it gently against the frame.
Jisung is toeing at a few rocks on the sidewalk when you walk back out. He doesn’t see you, too busy with his eyes casted down at the concrete, hands shoved into his pockets. 
It’s still hard to believe that he’s here. Flesh and bone. For a long time it felt like he was nothing but a distant dream, someone who only existed in the memories that you kept locked deep within your heart, the key somewhere on the streets of Seoul.
“Ready?” you ask.
He looks up, his glasses moving when his cheeks round into a smile.
Something passes across his face– a myriad of emotions in just a fraction of a second. Hesitantly, he holds out his hand. Long, delicate fingers.
You stare at it, swallowing roughly around the butterfly wings flapping inside your throat. 
The one thing you shouldn’t do, my dear, is rely on forever. Because that, too, is uncertain.
Forever isn’t promised. But even then, there are things you know for sure:
It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. Jisung is here. Living, breathing, in the flesh. 
So you take his hand, watch as relief floods his features, and let yourself feel.
The wind in your hair, the calluses on Jisung’s palms, and the warmth radiating out of the smile that threatens to split his face into two.
And with that certainty, the two of you start walking. A silent agreement to focus on the now.
You. Him. This.
“God, I can’t believe everything is only one coin.”
You laugh, watching as the multi-colored lights cast a glow on Jisung’s face. 
“Stop acting like you don’t remember this place.”
“I don’t!” he argues, smiling. “We stopped coming here, what, in middle school? Once Chan hyung started driving? We would always ask him to take us to the other one out in the big town!”
Chan’s first car was an old Camry with leather seats and enough room for the three of you to pile into after school. Used, but still with enough juice to satisfy three young kids who felt like they were on top of the world.
You used to sit in the back, the wind whipping your hair every which way while yours and Jisung’s hands lay side by side in the middle seat, pinkies brushing but neither of you willing to take it further. 
“Oh, shit!” Jisung gasps, letting go of your hand as he runs up to the space invaders machine. 
“Here we go,” you sigh, following after him. He’s like a kid in a candy store, face filled with innocent wonder and joy.
“Aren’t there, like, I don’t know– things better than this in Seoul?” you ask as he shoves a coin into the game.
Jisung turns to look at you with a devilish grin. “Obviously,” he says, “But I can’t beat anyone’s high score over there. Here though? Ha! This place is ancient. I can finally be at the top of the leaderboard in something.”
“We’ll see about that.” you mumble, the noise of the game booting up drowning you out. 
Jisung sticks his tongue out when he focuses really hard on things. It’s cute, the way the end of it sits between his lips, spit-slick and parted just a little bit.
He’s glowing, probably because of the lights, hues of red and green and blue flashing across his face. But then again, Jisung has always shined brighter than anything. 
The game beeps to signal that he has one life left. He grunts a few times, his fingers tapping the buttons madly as his other hand handles the joystick in a frenzy of movements.
When it ends, he groans, throws his hands up in defeat.. 
You shake your own head knowingly, watching his eyes bug out of their sockets as soon as the leaderboard appears on the screen, the 8-bit letters blinking at him. 
“You’re joking.” he laughs in disbelief, turning to stare at you. “Please tell me you’re joking.” 
There, on the screen, is your name. The highest score. Jeongin and Hyunjin’s names sit just below you, respectively.
“What was that again about finally being able to be at the top?” you mock him, smirking.
“Since when did you get good at this?”
You shrug. “Had to find something to do in my free time.”
“No,” he says, rolling up his sleeves. “Nuh-uh. No way. This is not happening. I will beat you.” he holds out his hand for another coin, to which you roll your eyes and place one in his palm. 
“You might as well give up now. We’ll be here all night.”
“In your dreams.” he scoffs, assuming his position as another round loads onto the screen.  
Jisung has always been competitive. It’s one of his more hidden characteristics. 
It persists still, you realize, as you watch him burn through the styrofoam cup of coins that Old Man Park had given the two of you. Free of charge for old time’s sake.
Fort-five minutes. All he’s managed to do is bump Hyunjin down to fourth.
“Ugh!” he groans, kicking the machine lightly with his foot. 
“Look at you throwing a tantrum.”
“I’m not throwing a tantrum.” he pouts. You raise an eyebrow.
“Okay fine. I’m throwing a tantrum.” 
“Thought so.”
“Can you blame me?” he asks. “This is, like, our first date. And I’m sucking. Hard.”
“Our–” you stop, eyes wide. Jisung mimics you, almost like he didn’t mean to say what he did. 
Heat rushes to your cheeks. Your mind goes blank. But the world doesn’t end. Time keeps moving. Jisung is still here.
“I didn’t–”
“I like the sound of that.” you say quickly. “Of this being our first date, I mean.’
He smiles. Slow and sweet like molasses. Blinding.
“And the fact that you suck.”
The moment is shattered, his resulting whine echoing throughout the arcade.
“Come on you big baby,” you laugh, grabbing his hand. “I know a game you can beat me at.”
He lets himself be pulled, pretending that he’s upset, but you can see the smile tugging at his lips when you lace your fingers together.
The feeling is still new, this ease you have with him. The wounds you sported all those years are still healing, some more fresh than others. But with each laugh that comes out of Jisung’s mouth and shared glance, every note that your heart sings, you can feel them beginning to fade. A balm to soothe the burn.
The Pac-Man game is situated in the back corner of the arcade, right next to the jukebox. It used to be your favorite, because Jisung would always use his own coins to play songs for you while you tried to score higher than twenty-five thousand points. 
When you get there, he frowns. “The only game you think I can beat you at is Pac-Man?” 
“I don’t think,” you say, grabbing a coin before shoving the cup into his chest. “I know.”
The game boots up instantly, and you smile softly to yourself when Jisung moves wordlessly behind you, slips a coin into the jukebox.
“Play something good, Jisungie.”
He freezes. Out of the corner of your eye you watch him stare at you for a long moment. And then he smiles. Stardust.
“You got it.”
In a matter of seconds, Lovers In A Dangerous Time by Bruce Cockburn rings throughout the arcade, the speakers on the ceiling fighting past the static.
An old song. The same one your grandparents would dance to in the mornings, eggs on the stove and love in the air.
Your grandma used to say it was written for them, because when they fell in love the war was at its peak and she didn’t know if he’d ever come home. 
After he passed, she still played it, except those times it was Jisung who twirled her around and painted a smile on her face as you watched from the same spot you grew up in. Always there.
Jisung, Jisung, Jisung. 
When the game starts, you try your best. It’s hard. You’ve always been terrible at anything involving quick decisions. Focusing on everything at once isn’t easy for you, that much is still true. 
“Shit.” you mumble, the top right corner of the screen reading ten thousand points as the ghosts run into you.
Jisung lets out a low whistle. “Harsh.”
“You wanna go back to space invaders and waste the last of our money?” you raise an eyebrow. 
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. Go ahead.” he says, holding the cup out for you to take another coin. 
You try a couple more times, failing each and every one. You can tell that Jisung is growing more and more amused with every attempt, and the smugness radiating off of him is starting to rub you the wrong way.
“If you’re so good,” you say after a particularly sad attempt, turning to glare at him. Jisung has his lips pulled tight to stop himself from laughing. “Then why don’t you try?”
He chuckles then. “I’d rather help you, if you’ll let me.”
“How are you supposed to do that? We only have one coin left.”
Jisung doesn’t say anything. He puts the cup down, the last coin held between his fingers. You watch as he slips it into the machine, move to get out of his way once he’s done, but he stops you by grabbing your hand and spinning you back around, his fingers placed over yours on the joystick. 
With your back flush against his front, caged in by his arms on either side, Jisung takes a deep breath.
“This okay?” he asks right next to your ear, the curls on the side of his head brushing your cheek when he leans down to get a better look at the screen.
Warm. He’s so warm. The material of his sweater only worsens the heat, and the faint scent of vanilla makes your head swim.
It’s more than okay. Great, even. It’s Jisung. Everything and more.
“Yeah,” you say, letting him control your hands as he flicks the joystick. “It’s okay.”
The hair against your cheek moves when he smiles. “Good.” he says, and then hits the start button.
The game begins but you’re barely processing what’s happening, too aware of the feeling of his body pressed against yours. 
A firm chest, different from what’s observable on the outside, what with the fluffiness of his sweater and soft features. His arms too, encasing you, the bulge and flex of his biceps every time he moves.
It’s all so intoxicating, so much so that you don’t even realize you’ve beaten the highest score in the system by the time he loses his last life. 
“What?” you blink. “What the hell?!”
You laugh, spinning to face Jisung who’s grinning from ear to ear. In your excitement, you jump, flinging your arms around his neck. He’s surprised, but catches you nonetheless, circling his arms around your waist.
“Holy shit how’d you do that!” you squeal while he swings you around, feet off the ground.
“Magic, I guess.” he chuckles. 
The closeness of his voice brings you crashing back down, suddenly aware of what position you’re both in. You pull back quickly, clear your throat, and watch as his face falls from the loss of contact.
It’s been a long time since you hugged Jisung. The thought transports you to that day four years ago, standing under the apple tree, the future uncertain. Forever promised.
Things are different now.
“Sorry,” he backtracks. “I didn’t– um, I wasn’t trying to–”
You cut him off by throwing yourself at him for a second time. Intentional. Breathless. Tired of running and acting like it’s not the thing you want most in the entire world.
Jisung doesn’t react until he feels your face against the skin of his neck. On instinct, he hugs tight, hands around your waist, breathing in the smell of your hair.
“Hi.” you whisper against him. 
One word. Simple. However the weight of it sends a chill down his spine. It feels like home. 
He tightens his hold. A silent understanding. The two of you never had much of a need for words anyways. 
“Hi.” he whispers back.
The apple tree is much bigger now.
Long, thick branches, a wide trunk, a slight tilt in its shape.
It’s bare. The season is long gone. But it’s okay, because it means that the view of the stars isn’t blocked when you and Jisung lay beneath it.
It’s the same but it isn’t. There’s gaps– periods of time where the two of you grew separately. There are moments and memories tucked away that neither of you know about, whole lives to discover. 
But even so, it feels right. His arm wrapped around you, your head on his chest. The stars and the moon. You and Jisung.
It’s nice. Perfect, even. But there’s a conversation that needs to be had. One that can’t be put off any longer.
“Ji.”
“Hm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
Jisung shifts beneath you, tightening his hold. The grass is damp. Neither of you care, too caught up in each other to stress about whether or not it’ll stain.
“Of course.”
“Am I ever gonna see you again?”
He takes a deep breath. “Yes.”
“You said that last time.”
“I know.”
“So what makes this different?” you ask, sitting up. He watches you carefully, eyes trained on every movement like he’s scared you’ll get up and run away.
When he realizes you’re waiting for an answer, he sits up too, pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs. 
He doesn’t say anything, just wordlessly reaches into his pocket. Silently, he hands whatever he grabbed to you. A guitar pick.
It’s white, a marbled design. Golden flecks infused into the lines. There, on the front, is a singular marigold. When you flip it over, you’re met with a tulip. 
“Do you remember that one time, when you called me crying at midnight because Nana told you that she didn’t know if she’d be able to afford school in the city?”
You nod silently, still turning the guitar pick over in your hand. 
It was one of those nights where the rain was relentless. Monsoon season always tagged on to the tail end of the school year, bringing with it a more intense gloominess than usual. 
You’d been angry. Stressed. Irritated that other kids at school were making plans to go to the mainland for college and you were stuck helping your grandmother trim foliage and wrap vases in newspaper.
“You told me that you couldn’t do it anymore.” Jisung whispered, staring up at the sky. “That you were tired of being here. That you needed to get out.”
You remember. Jisung had walked through the rain to show up at your window. Had climbed in with muddy shoes and sat on the floor of your room with you until the downpour stopped and your tears dried.
“And I said that I would make it happen, that I would invent a way to live amongst the stars so you could be as far from here as possible.”
“So what?” you ask, looking at him. “Did you finally do it, then? Is that why you came back?”
“Don’t be like that.”
“No, Jisung, I’m gonna fucking be like that.” you scoff, rising to your feet. 
There’s a fire in your veins, stoked until the embers are burning hot against your throat. Too good to be true. You should’ve known that there was no explanation left for him to give.
Jisung scrambles to his feet. “It wasn’t like I wanted to–”
“Oh like hell you did.” you say, turning to face him. “Four years, Jisung. I waited four years and you just– you come back and decide to tell me about some make-believe bullshit to save yourself and feel less guilty about the fact that you left.”
“It wasn’t make-believe to me,” he argues. “It was real. Everything I said was real. I left and I tried for years to make something of myself so I could come back here and get you.”
“Oh so it’s my fault? I made you leave, is that it?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“So then say something else!” you yell. The stars rumble, threatening to fall out of the sky. “Say something else, then, Jisung. Why didn’t you call? Huh?”
“Because I–” he stops, licks his lips. “God. Fuck. I couldn’t face you if I had nothing to show for myself, okay? It wasn’t fair to you for me to leave you behind just so I could fail.”
“Ha!” you laugh, running a hand through your hair in disbelief. “So you decided to go radio silent instead? Decided to not only leave me alone but let me suffer and wonder about where you were because that’s so much better than telling me that you were struggling, right? Great choice, Jisung. Really.”
He blinks a few times, watching as you pace back and forth in the grass. 
Anger bubbles deep in your gut. This whole time, he knew. It was a conscious decision. Jisung deliberately didn’t contact you because he chose not to.
“Did you ever even love me?”
The words tumble out before you can stop them. Jisung’s entire body goes rigid, his face falling and eyes hardening within a fraction of a second.
“Watch what you say.” he says, his voice low in his chest.
“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just be honest.”
“I’m trying.” he pleads. His eyes are glossy. Big and round behind his glasses. Illuminated by the moon. 
“I fucked up, okay? I prioritized myself and the way I felt over you and fucked everything up. But I tried. I tried so fucking hard. And I’m sorry it took me so long but I wanted– no–  I needed to make sure that I had everything figured out before I came back. I promised I would.”
“No, Jisung, you promised me that–”
“I’m not talking about you.” he says then, taking a deep breath. “You weren’t the only one I made promises to back then.”
Before you have a chance to speak, Jisung says, “I promised her. I told her I’d get you out of here. That I’d give you a life that you deserved, because she knew she couldn’t.”
You drop to your knees when the first sob hits, the force of it racking your body so hard you feel like you’re drowning. Jisung catches you on the fall, holds you up, lets you bury your face into his neck like he had so many times before.
“She told me you believed in forever. She wanted me to give that to you. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
Jisung lets you cry. He holds you through the storm, your wails as loud as thunder and tears as heavy as rain. Four years in the making; the sky and the earth colliding until the dirt and layers of sediment give way to the molten core that’s been hiding beneath the surface all along.
Pain. Grief. All of it pent up and leading to this moment. 
“You should’ve told me.” you cry, beating a fist into Jisung’s chest. “You idiot. You fucking idiot. You should’ve told me.” 
Jisung pulls you in closer, takes each hit as long as it means that it’ll soften the blow on your heart. He whispers apologies in your ear, runs a hand through your hair. 
When it quiets again, the worst of the storm gone, he shifts so that your head is in his lap, his legs crossed and tucked beneath him. A few stray tears wet the fabric of his jeans, your eyes focused on the field of flowers across the street.
“I won’t ask you to come with me.” he says after a long while, when your breathing has evened out. “I know that things are different. You have a life here that you’ve made for yourself, responsibilities to bear as well.”
He pauses to push a few strands of hair out of your face. His fingers are gentle against the skin of your cheek.
“But I promise it’ll be different. I spent too long away from you, was too selfish for my own good. I won’t disappear again. I’ll call every day. I’ll visit. You’ll get every part of me that I kept away from you all this time, and I’ll get every part of you in return.”
Your heart thrums. The thought of having what you’ve wanted for so long. Of having Jisung.
“And when you’re ready, when you feel like you can’t do it anymore, there’ll be a place for you.”
His voice is firm. Confident. More sure than he’s ever sounded before in his life.
When you turn to face him, he’s already staring back. Jisung, with all the stars in his eyes and a heart full of dreams. Jisung, with the world at his fingertips and the offer to make it yours.
Under the apple tree, Jisung leans down and kisses you for the first time. Twenty four years in the making, soft and slow, his lips a perfect fit against yours. A starboy and his flower girl. His glow is so bright it makes blossoms sprout from her fingertips.
Soft curls tickle your eyelids when he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours. You reach up to run a hand through them, smiling softly when he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. 
“I love you.” you say first this time. 
He reaches out a hand, closes it over your fist that’s still clutching the guitar pick. A marigold and a tulip, both working together to make a perfect harmony. 
“I love you, too.” Jisung whispers back. “Forever.”
Jisung stops by the shop early to say goodbye.
There’s less tears this time, less of a reason to be sad. But still, when he wraps his arms around you, vanilla filling your nose and curls against your face, you feel your composure crumble.
“Every day.” he says, repeating the same thing he did all night. “I promise. Morning and night. Also at lunch. Oh, and on your days off. Matter of fact, you can call when you’re on the toilet too.”
The last part earns him an elbow to the ribs, his laughter bubbling up and out of his throat as he tries to dodge any and all subsequent attacks.
He kisses you stupid before he goes, Chan rolling his eyes from his car out front. You flip him off blindly, Jisung’s lips still attached to yours, earning a loud honk in response.
When he leaves, the shop is quiet, the only sound being the buzzing of your phone as Jisung blows it up with text messages the second the car pulls away.
You’re too busy replying, giggling to yourself when a slew of cute emoticons start appearing one by one, that you nearly fall over out of your chair when Hyunjin bursts through the door.
“Jesus Christ Hyune, did you have to–”
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, breathless. 
“Uh,” you blink, glancing round. “Working?”
“Is Jisung not on a damn plane right now?”
“I mean he’s on his way to the airport. Chan is–”
“Chan hyung told me that Jisung wanted you to go with him.” Hyunjin says, brow furrowed.
You sigh. “He didn’t want me to go with him. Well, okay, he did. But I told him I can’t just pick up and leave. He knows that. Nana left this place to me and–”
“You are so stupid.” Hyunjin sighs. 
“Excuse me?” you ask. You stand up, crossing your arms as you walk closer to the counter. 
“Come on. We have to go.”
“Go where, Hyunjin? I’m not leaving to–”
He cuts you off, places an envelope on the wooden surface. “And I am not letting you stay here and pretend that this is what you want.”
“What is that?” 
“A plane ticket.” he says, pushing it towards you. “To Seoul.”
Your mouth opens and closes, lost for words. Hyunjin is already moving around the counter, pushing past you with an expression the most serious you’ve ever seen on him.
“Hyunjin I– I can’t– where did you even…?”
“Chan hyung has a friend.” he mumbles as he begins pulling stuff out of the office. Your planning notebook, your apron, the picture of your grandma off the wall. All of it thrown into a small box he managed to snag from somewhere off to the side.
“His name is Seungmin or something. Met him out in the tourist hub. Dude’s super rich with tons of miles and apparently owed Chan for a drunken night where he needed to be escorted to his hotel. So thanks to him, you’re leaving.” he explains as he grabs the box with both hands and starts walking towards the door.
“Wait.” you stop him, watching as he turns to regard you with a look that says his patience is running thin. 
“I told you I can’t leave, Hyunjin. This place is where I need to be.”
He huffs, places the box on the ground in front of him. His hair falls in waves around his face, a shimmery dark brown beneath the rays of the sun poking into the room. 
“Can you be honest with me?” he asks. 
You nod, slowly. 
“Do you love him?”
Hyunjin watches you with careful eyes. Reads you like a book, something he’s always been good at. You don’t doubt that it’s written on your face. Star-kissed cheeks and eyes as bright as marigolds. 
“So much that it hurts, Hyune.”
Hyunjin smiles, eyes watery. “Then you deserve to go. You deserve your chance to be free. Don’t worry about this place, I’ll take care of it.”
The familiar sting of tears sits behind your eyes. Your heart swells full of love for this friend, this light, this beacon of unconditional love in the shape of your best friend.
“I don’t have clothes.” you manage to say around the lump in your throat.
Hyunjin shakes his head, tears spilling down the bridge of his nose. 
“I’ll send them to you.”
“There’s a lot to do around here for just one person. What if you need me?”
“I’ll manage.” 
You round the corner quickly, throwing yourself into his chest. He catches you with ease, wraps his arms around your body as the both of you cry into each other.
“I’ll miss you.” you say weakly.
Hyunjin’s throat bobs against the top of your head. “I’ll always be here in our little corner of the world.”
The two of you stay like that for a while. Hyunjin’s warmth seeps into your skin, lights you ablaze. By the time he pulls away, his hands on your shoulders, you feel like you’re floating. Unreal.
“I don’t have a way to get there.” you say quickly, glancing at the clock. 
Jisung’s plane leaves soon. The airport, the only one on the island, is a thirty minute drive. You’re at a disadvantage the more time you spend not moving. 
“Don’t worry,” Hyunjin chuckles. “I’ve got that taken care of.”
You open your mouth to ask him what he means when you’re cut off by the sound of honking from outside. Confused, you run to the door, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize who’s waiting for you.
“Hurry up people we don’t have all day!” Jeongin calls, his upper body hanging out of the window. He’s parked outside in a beat-up truck, arms waving wildly when he spots you.
“Innie!” you scream, pushing through the door to run at him. He jumps out of the truck just in time for you to barrel into his chest, laughter loud in your ears as he spins you around. 
“You’re here! Oh my god I thought you weren’t coming for another two weeks.” you say in disbelief once he puts you down.
He looks older, more sophisticated. His hair is rusted and falls past his ears, the ends just barely touching his shoulders. 
“Yeah, well,” he shrugs. “I figured I’d show up earlier. You know, see you before you leave, catch up with my parents, help Hyunjin break into your house. The usual.”
“Help Hyunjin break into my what–” you say, but you stop when your eyes fall on the small suitcase in the backseat. Your own bag, the one that’s been sitting in your closet untouched for years now.
“For the last time,” Hyunjin says from behind you, carrying the box in his arms. “It’s not breaking and entering if I have a key. Which, by the way, I told you would come in handy one day.”
He sets the box down next to the luggage and dusts his hands on his pants. When he turns to face you, he’s smiling, eyes disappearing into crescent moons.
With tears threatening to spill once again, you stare at the both of them, your heart bursting at the seams. “I love you guys.”
Jeongin grimaces, opts for getting back in the driver’s seat as you laugh. Hyunjin rolls his eyes and ushers you inside of the truck.
“Yeah, yeah. Save it.” he says. “Right now, you have a plane to catch.”
The airport is crowded. 
There are tons of people everywhere, some saying hello and some saying goodbye. Hyunjin explained the gate system to you before you left him and Jeongin on the curb, and you keep glancing down at your ticket to make sure none of the information has changed in the past thirty seconds since you last looked. 
Thankfully, your gate isn’t far. With twenty minutes to go until boarding, you can feel the sweat building up beneath the hand that’s curled around your suitcase handle. 
It’s scary thinking about the fact that this is it. That you’re finally leaving. 
It’s bittersweet, too. There’s an excitement in the pit of your stomach as well as a feeling of dread in your chest, both of them meeting in the middle somewhere. 
You let your eyes scan the crowd, searching for wavy hair and thick-rimmed glasses. However, the first thing you see is the familiar neck of a guitar, strapped right on to a back that you would know and recognize anywhere without warning.
Jisung is seated near the gate, his eyebrows furrowed and lips set in a pout as he glares down at his phone. You realize that he’s probably wondering why you won’t answer, why all of his emoticons are going ignored. 
Quietly, you come up behind him, reach into your pocket, and say, “Excuse me? I think you dropped this.”
Jisung startles, his eyes falling on to the guitar pick being held out in your hand. Slowly, he lets his gaze follow upwards, wide-eyed and shocked.
“What– what are you doing here?” he asks. 
You place the pick in his hand. “I'm on my way to Seoul. There’s a guy there that I’ve been trying to find for a while.” you say. 
Jisung catches on quickly. “Oh, really?” he asks, moving over so you can sit beside him. “This guy must be pretty great if you’re leaving for the mainland.”
The rain starts hitting the tarmac outside right as you sit down. “Hm, yeah. He is. He really likes the stars. He says that he found a way for me to live in them, too.” 
He laughs, the sound making your stomach flip. “Sounds like you’re excited.”
You nod. “I am. He promised me that we’d do a lot together, experience new things. Apparently he’s gonna write songs and I’m gonna be a nerd.”
Jisung snorts and reaches across to link his hand with yours.
“He’s really lucky.” he says, leaning over to plant a kiss on your lips.
You smile into it. “So am I.” you whisper into his mouth, your heart stuffed to the brim with flower petals. 
And when Jisung smiles back, his other hand coming up to cup your cheek and give you another kiss with the force of a thousand suns, you feel the key you’d been searching for finally click into place. 
Salt of the earth. Soil and stardust. A boy who glows so bright that his girl sprouts blossoms from her fingertips. 
Forever isn’t promised. But then again, with Jisung by your side, there are things you know for certain:
It’s February. The tulips are in bloom. In Jeju– it rains.
And no matter what, despite all odds, you and Jisung will always find your way back to each other in the place where marigolds grow.
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[tags: @skzstarnet @snowyquokka @palindrome969 @summergirlsmj @n1staytiny @drhsthl @strwbrrychannie @shays-library @giuliadesu @iknowyouknowminho @linocz @pynchkilledme @jisunglyricist @itsgghowitsgg @alician87 @skzms @meloncremesoda @ilychee08 @allaboutsan @legally-lixs @stayceebs97 @candyquokka @chans1aptop @liknws @realrintaro @beeracha @vxllxnsworld @feelikecinderella @caitxx1 @lilac13 @sebastianswhore13 @classiclitandmemes @hyunverse @linosazuna @lastgreatamericandynasty1 @bubbly-moon @cookiesandcreammy ]
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milkteabinniechan · 7 months ago
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♡ sleep deprived - felix
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MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY commissions // m.list
pairing: idol! Felix x female reader (sort of)
warnings: masturbation, pillow humping, sleep deprivation (get ur sleep!!)
a/n: this is a long one, folks! but I'm proud :) comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
Room service, single use shampoo, turn down service. Every hotel was starting to blend into one enormous mansion of anonymity. Felix dropped his bags at the door and pulled out his key card. A green light blinked and a locked clunked from inside the handle.
He pushed his way through to see what he had seen a hundred times before. A bed with sheets tucked in tightly and pristinely. A large television with crappy TV shows. A shower with complimentary towels and fancy soaps that would disintegrate and crumble within the first hint of water.
Felix sighed as he looked around at the all too familiar environment. Only this time, he was running on zero sleep. The plane that brought them all here had experienced terrible turbulence and as a result, he was never even able to close his eyes.
At this point, the adrenaline from the tour and the press conferences was started to wear off and now his body was just running on instinct. He made his way to the sprawling California king bed and threw his entire weight on top of it. The plush foam cushioned his fall and cradled his body and aching muscles in the exact way he needed.
Finally, he thought to himself, while his arms caressed the nearest pillow and squeezed it firmly underneath his head. Felix let his eyes flutter close as he tried to sleep, but what had happened the other night was keeping him up.
A few nights prior, Chan had brought you home to the apartment that he and Felix share. You had walked into the living room in a short black skirt, the pleaded fabric whipped lovingly across your bare thighs. Felix couldn't help but shift in his seat when he watched you make your way to Chan's bedroom. You were gorgeous.
You and Chan had hooked up a few times before, but Felix always came home when you were leaving. The two of you would exchange pleasantries and be on your way. But this particular day, Felix was home. He didn't want to listen. To eavesdrop. In fact, he had made a conscious and drastic effort not to listen. But your voice pierced through the music in his headphones like an alluring siren song.
And that's where Felix found himself in this moment, in this hotel room. In his ears still echoed the sounds of your moans, the rhythmic grunts of Chan as he slid in and out of you so exquisitely. The sounds reverberated in his mind. His hips gently began to press into the king sized mattress. A low grunt left his throat and into the pillow beneath his face. He could easily picture your soft skin and closed his eyes to imagine your sweet scent.
His hips picked up speed slightly while his growing cock was willingly enjoying the sensation of fabric to skin. His sensitive tip leaked and left a desperate little spot onto his boxer shorts. Felix pressed his face further into the plush pillow as he bucked his hips up and pulled the shorts off and into the floor. His hands squeezed the cushion and he imagined squeezing your soft legs, your delicate stomach. Sliding his tongue down to your perfect, soaking, tight....
"Fuck... Fuck.." Felix whimpered pitifully into the mattress as he pushed the pillow down to his throbbing cock with a frustrated force. He pictured your big, dark eyes looking into his as he slid into you nice and slow. He imagined your hands running down his chest and waist, gripping his hips to pull him further inside of you.
The pillow hugged the rigid length of him so sweetly as his mind turned fuzzy and dumb. His tip continued to leak and pour out onto the pillowcase, leaving a long, thin string of pre cum connecting him to the plushy faux cunt. His whimpers grew in volume and length. Drool fell from his lips while his hips rutted ruthlessly into the hotel bed. He could see you underneath him so clearly now and all he wanted was to fill you up so entirely that his seed would have no choice but to pour back out of you.
When Felix finally snapped back to reality, he witnessed the fruits of his labor. He sighed and instantly fell asleep. The deepest, longest sleep he had had in a very long time.
taglist: @simply-trash5 @sugawhaaa @trixiekaulitz @chrizzztopherbang @cassidymb121 @roanns-posts @staysinbloom @yaorzu-blog @bubblebisk @cotton-candycloudz @beautyinhypnosis @domicaru @strawberry31 @slxtmeri @newhope8 @tinyelfperson @dandelions-143 @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @msauthor @fun-fanfics @ell0thebell @stephanieeeyang
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seungfl0wer · 4 months ago
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Jeongin As Your Boyfriend
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Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Han | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin
Contains Smut 🩷
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-🩵
•I feel like he’s very nervous, especially at first.
•Constantly checking on you making sure anything he does is ok.
•Like kissing. He’s gonna ask you if “it’s ok” to kiss you.
•Because he’s afraid of making you uncomfortable.
•When y’all get past that phase he’s still asking sometimes however he goes for it more often than not.
•He’s not super big into skin ship.
•However that does not mean he’s not ever gonna touch you of course.
•Holding hands is his favorite.
•Or wrapping his arms around you in a back hug.
•He’s not into PDA so if you try to kiss him around the others.
•He’s gonna turn bright red.
•He’s very reserved in my opinion.
•I feel like since he likes fashion so much he’d honestly like those couple outfits.
•Not the “I love my boyfriend” shirts.
•But like same color shirts and stuff just simple cute couple fits.
•Will have you in his OOTD’s especially when y’all matching.
•Absolutely loves seeing you in his clothes too.
•Ugh it just melts him. Finds it so endearing.
•Has a playlist of songs that remind him of you.
•Loves taking you to different places with him so you can experience them with him.
•Teases you of course.
•However he’s very mindful and sometimes can overthink what he says.
•He’s just afraid of hurting your feelings.
•Cuddles.
•Like I said he’s not a big touchy person however.
•When you’re sleeping he’s pulling you so close.
•Tells you all the time how it’s hard to sleep without you.
•Sings trots songs for you.
•Likes karaoke dates a lot too.
•Will definitely send you pictures of their concepts before it’s out.
•He can’t keep things from you.
•It’s really hard for him to keep secrets even if it’s something like a present or surprise.
•He just tells you everything so it’s hard for him not to tell you these exciting things.
•Clumsy.
•You joke how you need to put him in a bubble.
•Or bubble wrap the house at least.
•He loves taking pictures of you too.
•Changes his background so much cause he takes such cute pictures of you.
•No matter how long y’all date for he’s still smiling when he sees your name pop up on his phone.
•Even old and grey he’s still all giddy with you cause he loves you.
•I feel like after he lets his wall down he falls really hard.
•His love is so very genuine.
•He’s just a soft guy under those fox eyes, whose only mission is to make you smile.
•To make you happy and to feel loved and he’ll always be there to do so.
︵‿︵‿୨Smut Below୧‿︵‿︵
•Again this man’s still a bit nervous.
•He lets you take the lead a lot.
•But when he gets comfortable you’ll see the real jeongin.
•He’s very much a switch.
•Loves when you take care of him.
•Calling him your “Sweet baby” makes him go crazy.
•Whimpers so much when he’s like this.
•”I’ve been so good for you please-“
•Morning blow jobs to wake him up.
•Lazy morning sex too.
•You’re still half asleep when he’s pushing himself between your legs.
•His head in the crook of your neck whimpering how he “needs you so much”
•When you respond he’s losing it.
•Lubing you up before pushing into your sweetness.
•On the other hand he can be very aggressive.
•A lot of the times it’s when he’s stressed.
•He’ll have you face down as up as he pounds deep into you.
•Those big beautiful hands leaving hand prints on your ass.
•Loves sneaking you into the dorms.
•Telling you how you “have to stay quiet”
•Gets off on the thought of the others hearing how good he’s making you feel.
•Also those hands I mentioned?
•The way he pushes them into your sweet hole it just-
•He curls them so perfectly hitting every sweet spot.
•He knows how much you like his pretty hands.
•Teases you about how you fall apart on them.
•Aftercare is a lot for him.
•He is always concerned he hurt you or pushed you too far.
•Constant “are you ok?”
•Runs to grab you towels, snacks and drinks.
•Just wants to make sure you’re completely ok.
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something
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spiceofvy · 7 months ago
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heeeeyyyyy, is it possible to have a...wait let me do a coin toss first-heads(landed on my breast, hilarious) okay, favorite places for Stray Kids to smooch reader. Every body part is on the table. I'm thinking, gender neutral. Tender loving affectionate affection, ya know?
Thank you for your time✌️
SKZ - Favorite place to kiss you
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cw: gender neutral reader, sfw, fluff, one sensual innuendo (changbin)
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Chan: Hands/Fingers. Loves when you sit next to him in the studio while he's working, so he can just take your hand whenever he wants and press a soft kiss to it whenever he feels like it. Without looking away from his screen. Also likes to just quickly peck the back of your hand when you are out in public. Kisses each finger one by one at night in bed whispering sweet nothings.
Minho: Nape/Shoulders. He just loves hugging you from behind and being your big spoon. So it only makes sense that he loves pressing kisses on your shoulders. It's also pretty subtle, he can simply stand behind you, his hands on your waist, holding you softly. Whispering kisses into your nape, and watching you get flustered. Laughs loudly when you call him out for it and acts like nothing happened.
Changbin: Stomach. Not even in a sexual way though he definitely gives your stomach a lot of love before going lower but just in the most fluffy lovey way. His favorite way of cuddling you is laying his head on your stomach, so he has an easy time just turning his head and kissing your soft skin. Sometimes randomly starts tickling you when he feels like it. Play with his hair when he lays his head on your stomach and he turns to mush.
Hyunjin: Lips. He is just a romantic at heart and nothing means more to him than a kiss on the mouth. It is just the number one most romantic kind of affection to him. He just loves it so much. And honestly? He is really good at it, and kissing him just feels really really good. Sometimes he gets a little bit shy afterwards and giggles softly as he looks into your eyes. He's totally smitten.
Jisung: Your whole face. Leaving stray kisses all over your face is his favorite activity like ever. Of all times. He holds your face tightly, maybe squishing your cheeks a little bit, and just kisses you again and again. Your forehead, your nose, your lips, your eyelids everywhere. He giggles between each kiss, like it's the time of his life, probably because it is. Late at night, he pairs those kisses with sweet little compliments and pet names. Maybe licks your cheeks sometimes if he feels like teasing you.
Felix: Everywhere. This man loves every inch of your body. He doesn‘t discriminate between one part to another. He just needs to kiss you. Now. And he takes whatever he can get from you, just what is closest to you. He also doesn‘t care if he is in public, as long as you feel comfortable with his affection he will give it to you. Would kiss the back of your knee if that's what is the closest to his lips.
Seungmin: Neck/Jaw. It is just a soft little thing he enjoys doing. When he cuddles up to you his lips almost automatically find your jaw and neck. He just feels so close to you when he gets to hide his face in your neck. Don‘t tell anyone, he will say that you are a dirty liar even if you tell the truth. Whispers little I love you, half believing that you can't hear him. Sometimes he feels cocky and gives you a hickey out of nowhere.
Jeongin: Forehead. Giving as well as receiving. To him, it just feels like such an intimate sign of affection. And it can be casual too. Just a quick peck on the forehead before he leaves you to go to a schedule or when you meet him for a date. Softly lays his hands on your shoulders pulling you to him. Turns into mush when you return the forehead kiss. Always closes his eyes too.
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