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fixomnia-scribble · 6 months

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WOW.

Scientists found an amazingly well-preserved village from 3,000 years ago

Text below, in case article access dries up:

LONDON — A half-eaten bowl of porridge complete with wooden spoon, communal rubbish bins, and a decorative necklace made with amber and glass beads are just a handful of the extraordinarily well-preserved remnants of a late Bronze Age hamlet unearthed in eastern England that’s been dubbed “Britain’s Pompeii” and a “time capsule” into village life almost 3,000 years ago.

The findings from the site, excavated in 2015 to 2016, are now the subject of two reports, complete with previously unseen photos, published this week by University of Cambridge archaeologists, who said they cast light onto the “cosy domesticity” of ancient settlement life.

“It might be the best prehistoric settlement that we’ve found in Britain,” Mark Knight, the excavation director and a co-author of the reports, said in an interviewThursday. “We took the roofs off and inside was pretty much the contents,” he said. “It’s so comprehensive and so coherent.”

The reason for the rare preservation: disaster.

The settlement, thought to have originally consisted of several large roundhouses made of wood and constructed on stilts above a slow-moving river, was engulfed by a fire less than a year after being built.

During the blaze, the buildings and much of their contents collapsed into a muddy river below that “cushioned the scorched remains where they fell,” the university said of the findings. This combination of charring from the fire and waterlogging led to “exceptional preservation,” the researchers found.

“Because of the nature of the settlement, that it was burned down and its abandonment unplanned, everything was captured,” Knight added.

“As we excavated it, there was that feeling that we were picking over someone else’s tragedy,” he said of the eerie site in the swampy fenland of East Anglia. “I don’t think we could smell the fire but the amount of ash around us — it felt close.”

Researchers said they eventually unearthed four large wooden roundhouses and an entranceway structure, but the original settlement was probably “twice as big.”

The site at Must Farm dates to about 850 B.C., eight centuries before Romans came to Britain. Archaeologists have been shocked at “just how clear the picture is” of late Bronze Age life based on the level of detail uncovered, Knight said.

The findings also showed that the communities lived “a way of life that was more sophisticated than we could have imagined,” Duncan Wilson, head of Historic England, the public body responsible for preserving England’s historic environment, said in a statement.

The findings unearthed include a stack of spears, possibly for hunting or defense; a decorative necklace “with beads from as far away as Denmark and Iran”; clothes of fine flax linen; and a female adult skull rendered smooth, “perhaps a memento of a lost loved one,” the research found.

The inhabitants’ diet was also rich and varied, including boar, pike and bream, along with wheat and barley.

A pottery bowl with the finger marks of its maker in the clay was also unearthed, researchers said, still containing its final meal — “a wheat-grain porridge mixed with animal fats” — with a wooden spatula resting inside the bowl.

“It appears the occupants saved their meat juices to use as toppings for porridge,” project archaeologist Chris Wakefield said in the university’s news release. “Chemical analyses of the bowls and jars showed traces of honey along with ruminant meats such as deer, suggesting these ingredients were combined to create a form of prehistoric honey-glazed venison,” he added.

Skulls of dogs — probably kept as pets and to help with hunting — were also uncovered, and the dogs’ fossilized feces showed they fed on scraps from their owners’ meals, the research found.

The buildings, some connected by walkways, may have had up to 60 people living there all together, Knight said, along with animals.

Although no intact sets of human remains were found at the site, indicating that the inhabitants probably fled the fire safely, several sheep bones were found burned indoors. “Skeletal remains showed the lambs were three to six months old, suggesting the settlement was destroyed sometime in late summer or early autumn,” according to the university’s news release.

Ceramic and wooden vessels including tiny cups, bowls and large storage jars were also found. Some pots were even designed to nest, stacked inside one another, Knight said — evidence of an interest in aesthetics as well as practicality.

A lot of similar items were found replicated in each home, Knight added, painting the picture of completely independent homesteads for each family unit rather than distinct buildings for shared tasks — much like we live today.

Household inventories often included metal tools, loom weights, sickles for crop harvesting, axes and even handheld razors for cutting hair.

The roundhouses — one of which had almost 50 square meters (nearly 540 square feet) of floor space — had hearths and insulated straw and clay roofs. Some featured activity zones for cooking, sleeping and working akin to modern-day rooms.

The Must Farm settlement has produced the largest collection of everyday Bronze Age artifacts ever discovered in the United Kingdom, according to Historic England, which partly funded the 1.1 million pound ($1.4 million) excavation project.

The public body labeled the site a “time capsule,” including almost 200 wooden artifacts, over 150 fiber and textile items, 128 pottery vessels and more than 90 pieces of metalwork. Some items will go on display at the nearby Peterborough Museum next month.

Archaeologists never found a “smoking gun” cause for the fire, Knight said. Instead, they suspect it was either an attack from “outside forces,” which may explain why the inhabitants never returned to collect their possessions from the debris, or an accidental blaze that spread rapidly across the tightly nestled homes.

“Probably all that was left was the people and what they were wearing; everything else was left behind,” Knight said of the fire.

But the preservation has left a window for people to look back through in the future. “You could almost see and smell their world,” he said.

“The only thing that was missing was the inhabitants,” Knight added. “And yet … I think they were there — you certainly got glimpses.”

#archaeology #bronze age #UK archaeology #excavations

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gulfcoastfitcation · 2 years

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How Can A Couples Fitness Retreat Help Couples Recharge And Reconnect?

Couples fitness retreats are an excellent way for couples to not only get in shape but also strengthen their relationship. These retreats provide a unique opportunity for couples to bond, challenge themselves physically, and grow as a team. Whether you're looking to kick-start a healthy lifestyle or simply spend quality time with your partner, a fitness retreat may be just what you need. These retreats offer a complete wellness experience, from challenging workouts to nutritious meals. Couples can strengthen their relationships by attending a fitness retreat and getting on the path to a healthier, happier life.

5 Ways In Which A Fitness Retreat Helps Couples

Whether you're a fitness lover or just looking for an innovative way to spend time with your partner, an exercise vacation is an excellent choice. Continue reading further to explore more about the ways in which it can prove to be beneficial.

1. Group Fitness Classes

A couples fitness retreat should offer a variety of group fitness classes that cater to all levels of fitness. Moreover, it can include yoga, Pilates, strength training, cardio, and more. The classes should be led by certified and experienced instructors who can provide modifications and adjustments to accommodate different fitness levels.

2. Outdoor Activities

Outdoor activities can provide a great opportunity for couples to get some fresh air, enjoy nature, and bond over a shared activity. Activities can include hikes, kayaking, rock climbing, and more. The retreat center should have equipment for guests to use, and options for different skill levels should be available.

3. Nutritional Guidance

The best fat farms for adults should also include nutritional guidance. Further, it can take the form of cooking classes, nutrition seminars, or healthy meal options in the retreat's dining room. The focus should be on promoting healthy eating habits that couples can continue long after the retreat.

4. Couples-focused Workshops

Workshops focused on couples' fitness, and wellness can be a highlight of the retreat. These workshops can cover healthy communication, mindfulness and stress management, and relationship-strengthening exercises. These workshops can provide couples with a safe and supportive space to explore and work on their relationship.

5. Relaxation And Rejuvenation

Afitness retreat should also provide opportunities for relaxation and rejuvenation. It can include spa services, massage therapy, and quiet spaces for couples to unwind and recharge. The retreat center should have comfortable and inviting spaces for guests to relax in, such as outdoor lounging areas, hot tubs, and gardens.

Strengthen Your Bond With Your Partners! If you want to get fit along with your partner, you can opt for the couples fitness retreat. Gulfcoast Fiction offers some of the best scientifically validated weight loss and fitness programs for you to choose from. Contact them to know more about their programs.

#couples fitness retreat #exercise vacation #best fat farms for adults

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thecrownestt · 3 months

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This idea is rattling around in my head, but I'm kinda digging it?

I find the casual mindlessness of a feedee to be hot at times. Stoned feedee if you will. Throw a super capable, sharp feeder. Bodily Contrast is sweet, but how about contrast of the mind, of the demeanor.

Let's find a restaurant that's decently out of the way. No chance we'll otherwise conduct ourselves over in that town, know anyone, etc. Somewhere where we can be faceless little ol lady and her man. Dress her up in her finest leggings and ridiculous t-shirt. Maybe a low cut tank top to show off her meaty arms and obscene cleavage. Have him dress competently. Nice pressed shirt. Flattering attire. Wear a nice watch even. Nice. He looks nice.

Have her rip a blunt. Smash some edibles. Who cares. Get her thoughts all bungled. Get her words soupy. Grin at me with your blood shot eyes. Be a little more basic for me. Follow your urges.

I'll order for the two of us. Be channeled into your inner farm animal. Focused on food. Lazily be aware of someone in our presence, but keep tearing at your bread and munch away while I speak to the adult.

A wordless dinner. Light salad with a glass of wine for me. Charmingly taking my time while reveling in the moment. Exerting my control over you to the point that you're utterly free to gorge without societal repercussion. We won't be back in this town... not until we want to do this again. Be a bit of a hot mess. Burp if you must. Don't excuse yourself. Take that deep breath, you need to make room for the next plate that is making its way over.

I'll call for the bill when you finish. I'll ease you out of your seat and to the sitting area. I'll pull the car around. Load you up like a blissful fat pig. Such a pig.

#gaining kink #feedee girl #ssbbw feedee

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mrsparrasblog · 3 months

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Take Me to Church

Summary: John MacTavish, the black sheep of his traditional chatolic family, hides his polyamorous relationship with his boyfriend Simon and you their pregnant plus-size girlfriend from his judgmental relatives. When you visit his family while being 9 months pregnant you need to face the reality of his cruel family.

Normaly I think his parents are the most supportive folks but this idea popped up in my head.

TW: Pregnancy, mention of labour, mention of homophobia, fat phobia and strong catholic beliefs, has a happy end

John MacTavish was always the black sheep of his family, and for most of his adult life, he was okay with it. Seeing his family only three times a year made him endure the hate he got from his brothers. In their humble opinion, he was wasting his life; a career in the military wasn’t sustainable. He would risk his life for what? For no wife to come home to and no bairn. If they had seen his single-room bachelor apartment in Glasgow, they would cringe even more. Moving to Glasgow was another thing they disapproved of. He could have lived on the farm like every other MacTavish, crowded with all his nephews. He really loved them, but coming back from every deployment to help on the farm left him with no freedom and several set-up dates with "proper" Scottish girls.

If it had been his grandma’s choice, he’d marry a thin, catholic Scottish girl. And despite the girls being absolutely beautiful, it just wasn’t what he wanted. John MacTavish only had four wants in his life, and his family could only respect one of them (the want for a good whiskey). Becoming a Military Captain wasn’t one of them, dating his Lieutenant (coming out as BI would be an early grave for his grandparents and dad), and his fourth want was you, the beautiful, soft girl who made him and his Lieutenant go crazy. His family would have approved of you being a girl, but you being an atheist, not from Scotland, a plus-sized girl (which he and Simon absolutely adored), and you being in a relationship with both of them at the same time, would be another matter. Sometimes he laughed thinking about what would scare his family more: him being bi, only dating soft, curvy women, being in a poly relationship, or dating two "foreigners." He decided the poly thing would be the final death blow for his family.

So he hid this side of himself for years, hurting himself and, more importantly in his eyes, hurting you and Simon. Both of you tried hard not to act hurt when you spent another Christmas without him because he needed to attend his family gatherings without his dark secret.

The thing about secrets is they can never be kept, especially if his secret was crying in his strong arms with the famous device with two lines in your hands. “Johnny, what am I gonna do?” you sobbed while he tried everything to ease your mind. He knew it was his, always knew. Simon couldn’t be the dad; he had decided as soon as he was 18 to go to the doctors and take the responsibility to never have children.

The first months of the pregnancy were beautiful despite all the throwing up. When you thought you had two guard dogs before the pregnancy, you were so wrong. You didn’t even know that people could get so protective. Simon was attached to your hip every second he wasn’t on deployment, shooting death glares at anyone who even dared to look at you. Johnny didn’t allow you to clean or cook. “Won't let ma pregnant girl cook. What kind of lad do you think I am?” Johnny huffed as you complained about being pregnant and not sick. Even the sex got better; you were living the life with your two perfect boyfriends.

To his surprise, Simon was happy about the news. A child wasn’t something he thought was in his cards, but with you and Johnny, it could be possible. Even if he had the fear that the baby would only accept Johnny as his dad, you immediately told him that he was an idiot—the child would see him as the dad he was. "Who cares about fucking biology?"

Until your last weeks of pregnancy, when it was finally time to drop the bomb on Johnny’s parents. You wanted grandparents and uncles for your baby so badly. In the end, you regretted your decision.

Scotland, Kingussie

You wore a cute sundress, one of the only things that still fitted you since the pregnancy. You looked radiant; pregnancy suited you. And Johnny’s hand in yours, waiting for his parents to open the door. Johnny told you only half the truth when he said his parents were happy to meet you. They were, they just didn’t know half of it. And you were long asleep when Johnny and Simon had a fight about him finally telling his parents about him and that he mattered too. This didn’t help you prepare for what would happen once you entered the cozy farm in Scotland.

The door opened, and an older woman hugged Johnny immediately. “We missed you, my sweet boy. Show me the lovely lass you brought home.” One glance at you was enough to make her gasp. “Dear God, you’re pregnant!” Her blue eyes scrutinized you. To her credit, she really tried to hide her disgust, not wanting to judge you. “Is it yours, son?”

“Mom, of course it’s mine.”

“Well, congratulations.”

She walked inside the house while you and Johnny removed your shoes. Both of you fell into an awkward silence. “Johnny, what the fuck was that?”

“Mo leannan, I’m sorry. They’re a bit catholic, but they mean well, I promise.”

“Johnny…”

“Please, give them a small chance, and then we can leave whenever you want.”

You sat down at the enormous table. Fourteen pairs of blue eyes stared at you like you were a foreign alien invading their beloved home.

“So, you’re Johnny’s lass?” his father asked gruffly.

“Yes, Johnny and I have been dating for four years,” you smiled softly. Simon and Johnny were the best four years of your life.

“Four years, so I assume that bairn is yours, Johnny?”

“Of course it’s his,” you snapped, offended that he even asked. You would never cheat on Simon and Johnny. There wasn’t even a reason—the relationship and the sex were perfect.

“I didn’t talk to you, lass. I asked my son.”

“Dad, of course it’s mine.”

“So, you’re telling me that you compromised that poor girl?”

“Compromised?” you asked, confused.

“Not even English by her lack of vocabulary,” his grandfather chimed in.

“I told you, Johnny, you can’t just let your urges win. Look at you, knocking that poor woman up and not even asking for her hand in pòsadh,” his father gripped the table, trying to calm himself down.

“Do you know how much shame you bring to this family, Johnny? I would have given you your great-grandma’s ring, but no, you decided to take the MacTavish name even further into ruin. We accepted all your poor choices, lad, but now you’ve got a non-Scottish girl knocked up without any wedlock.”

“It’s not like the ring would have fit on her fat finger anyway,” his brother mocked, and that was Johnny’s final straw. He grabbed your hand, ready to leave.

“I won’t bother you with my shame anymore. Come, mo leannan.”

“Please, Johnny, stay. I promise Dad and Grandpa won’t say a word. We just never heard of you having a girlfriend, and now she’s pregnant. It’s a big shock.”

Johnny wanted to protest, but you really wanted your baby to have grandparents to love her. You whispered in Johnny’s ear that you needed to stay, at least try it for Sophia’s sake.

Another choice you regretted as soon as you saw haggis on your plate. “Johnny, what’s this?”

“I’m sorry, mo leannan. I told them you’re vegetarian,” he said apologetically.

“It’s good for the baby, lass. At least try it before you mock it,” she said, and you hated yourself for being a people-pleaser because the minute you tasted it, you ran to the toilet, throwing it up.

“That was a tad dramatic.”

“I get it, lass. When I was pregnant with my cute Johnny, I couldn’t hold anything in. Do you already have a name?” His mother really tried to make amends, giving you a bit of slack while his other family members couldn’t.

“Yes, we thought about Sophia.”

“That’s not a Scottish name,” his mother’s tone was full of disappointment.

“You cheated on John!” his grandpa started to scream at you.

“What?”

“The MacTavish family has never born a girl. Never.”

“Grandpa, you better shut your mouth.”

“How dare you talk this way to me in my own house!”

“Mo leannan, start the car already. We’re leaving.”

You went as fast as your swollen pregnant legs could carry you, trying to close your ears to the conversation.

“You won’t see my bairn. You disrespected the fucking love of my life. Who cares if she isn’t Scottish, or not Catholic, or fat? I fucking love her like this. She is the most intelligent, funny, beautiful woman on earth, and I’m going to have at least three babies with her, and you won’t see any of them. Or me. And by the way, I also fuck a man too.” He ignored the screams of his grandfather, how he was disowned, the pleading of his mother to rethink his choice. All he needed was to get back to you, the baby, and drive you to Simon, his perfect family.

“Mo leannan, I’m sorry. I should have done this years ago.”

“I just want to go home, Johnny. I’ve had enough.” You weren’t sure if you wanted to be mad at him or thankful for protecting you and your baby like this. But before you could decide on that, your shoes were already soaked. “Johnny, the water broke.”

“Yeah, I’ll fix it at home.”

“What?”

"Well, I don’t have a screwdriver here, and I won’t ask my dad for one."

"Why do you need a screwdriver?"

"To fix the car. You said the water broke; you meant the leak, right? Simon was already on it, but I guess it’s opened again."

"No, Johnny, my fucking water broke."

He stared at you in horror before he scooped you up and started to run. "Where are you running, Johnny?"

"To the hospital."

"We have a bloody car."

"But it’s leaking."

"Johnny, I’m leaking, not the bloody car," you screamed in pain after one of your first contractions.

"Fucking hell, I can bring that baby. I helped a cow with labor; it’s the same, right?"

"Johnny, you’re going to drive me to a fucking hospital. I’m not some highland cow."

-----------------------------

After 16 hours of painful labor (MacTavish babies are huge), your sweet girl was finally born, and Johnny didn’t even faint, much to Simon’s surprise, who almost caused six car crashes on the way to you. And now you were lying in bed, barely awake, looking at your tiny bundle of joy in Simon’s burly arms. It was enough to make a grown man cry. Kyle, Johnny, and Simon were just amazed by the baby.

The door went wide open. "How is my girl?" John ran towards your bed, looking to see if you were injured, hurt, and alive, holding you tight in his arms. He didn’t even look once at Sophia; he was just too afraid about you. "Sorry, I was afraid something happened to you with these muppets." You always wished to experience a father’s love, and right now you realized you didn’t need to have Johnny’s dad or grandpa for this—you had Captain Price.

"It’s okay, Dad," and this was enough to make Price bawl his eyes out. He always wanted a daughter, but infertility was a cruel curse on him. He kissed your forehead. "Let me look at my granddaughter." He accepted this role without hesitation, when you saw your baby between her two loving fathers, her uncle Kyle, and her Grandpa Price, you knew she already had the family you were searching for.

A/N: I don't approve of anything his family said if this isn't clear, I was almost in the same situation (without pregnancy) meeting the strongly prejudiced grandma of my partner. So please don't come at me with hate, already have enough of it in my asks :)

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megalony · 1 year

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Let Him Burn

This is an Eddie Diaz requested by Anon, I hope you like it, any feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefanthefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) takes Chris to the shop for their weekly magazine, but things take a bad turn when someone starts a hostage situation and the 118 arrives to save the day.

Enjoy.

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"Come on then, cheeky boy." Reaching into the car, (Y/n) scooped Christopher up in her arms, gave him a little spin and set him down on his feet so he could grab the crutches that were waiting for him.

She carded her fingers through his wet locks and slung her bag on her shoulder. A smile lit up (Y/n)'s face when Chris started to speed ahead into the shop. Despite just finishing hydrotherapy which was a tiring hour for him, he was still full of energy and ready to go speeding round the shop.

Every Friday after school, (Y/n) would come to the school and join Chris for his hydro session in the small pool at the back of the school. It was a small rectangle pool but they booked it out every Friday so Chris could make use of it and he could be on his own with his parents when Eddie had the afternoons free to join them. Chris loved to splash around and play with the floats and it burned the last of his energy that he had for the day.

Now it was the second routine they had on a Friday afternoon, they went to the shop ten minutes away from home. Chris would choose the same chocolate bar, the animal farm one with different pictures and inscriptions on each one. And he would get a new Dino magazine that came out weekly on a Friday. They contained new miniature figures and fun facts and he could colour and cut out and make new things.

Chris liked (Y/n) to read the facts and stories to him in the evening and then on the Saturday he would spend all morning cutting out and colouring and doing the activities.

It was one of his favourite routines.

"Chocolate," Chris beamed up at (Y/n) when she caught him up and walked into the shop with him.

(Y/n) rested her hand on his back and nodded, following him past the fruit and veg and towards the back of the shop where the sweetie aisle was.

"I think daddy deserves one too, he's done a double shift."

"Yeah!" Chris grabbed two and handed them over, it made him feel special when Eddie would have a chocolate bar with him and they knew Eddie would be home early tonight. He had been on shift since yesterday afternoon so he was supposed to be home on time for tea if all went well.

(Y/n) followed a step behind him round the corner towards the next aisle where the magazines were and right where it always was on the front row was the blue and green magazine Chris always picked. She let him grab it and he juggled it along with his crutch and they dawdled down towards the checkout.

"Why aren't you fucking listening to me? Try it again,"

Frowning, (Y/n) curled an arm around Chris's shoulders and pulled him back into her chest as she stopped walking. She didn't want to go to the checkout with Chris if that man was going to start shouting, it would unsettle her son.

She watched the lady at the desk try his card again but when it didn't work, he slammed his hand down on the counter and threw the bottle of whiskey onto the floor. The glass shattered, the alcohol splashed like droplets of rain forming a puddle and when he shouted, (Y/n) reeled back.

Chris jumped in her arms, the smile instantly dropping from his face as he brought his hands up to cover his ears, holding the magazine tightly against his left ear in his panic.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm not doing this shit, do it properly or I'll light this place up!"

Fear bolted through (Y/n)'s body and tingled down to her toes. The man got a lighter out of his pocket and despite how badly he was shaking, he held the lighter out as if he might either throw it on the alcohol on the floor or throw it on the lady at the checkout. He hadn't made up his mind and either prospect made (Y/n) choke.

Why today? Why did this idiot have to make a fuss today on all days? Why now when Chris was having his Friday routine did this idiot have to make a scene?

"Mummy,"

Reaching down, (Y/n) turned Chris around and let him burrow his face into her chest. He kept his hands covering his ears and (Y/n) tangled her hand into his curls to try and soothe him but she could feel him starting to tremble against her. Each time the man shouted, Chris jumped and shuddered and gasped until he finally screamed.

The scream vibrated through (Y/n)'s chest and shook her heart behind her ribs. She felt the magazine drop to the floor and Chris fought in her arms until he could flop down onto his knees and curl his chest over his legs with his arms pinned into his chest and his hands still over his ears. The crutches fell from his elbows and crashed to the floor with a clattering bang.

"Okay baby, shh, I'm here." (Y/n) went down on her knees in front of him and coiled her arms around him, trying to gently shush him but a fire lit up her eyes when she looked over at the man.

"What's he doing, what're you doing?"

"You're scaring him, what do you expect him to do?" She snapped back, unable to control her own anger. He couldn't expect the few people in the shop to be happy that he was causing a scene. "Baby come here, let's go home."

Reaching forward, (Y/n) curled her arms around Chris's chest and slowly pulled him up into her chest before she tried to stand. His legs hooked loosely around her waist and he tightly dug his arms into her neck until she could barely breathe. His breathing was laboured and harsh in the crook of her neck and he was about to start crying, she could feel it. But (Y/n) didn't get two steps before she stumbled back when the man threw a can of beer her way, narrowly missing her head.

"Stay where I can see you or I'll light this place up!"

Something inside (Y/n) told her to bolt. She could leave Chris's crutches here and the magazine and chocolate which were all on the floor. She could make a break for the exit with Chris in her arms and get in the car and go home. It wasn't worth the risk. As much as (Y/n) could run with her boy in her arms, that man was close and he could still start a fire or throw something else or hurt the cashier.

There was any number of things he could do and (Y/n) didn't want the risk, not unless it was a last resort.

But she didn't know how long Chris could stay here without having a full blown meltdown. Screaming was just the start and (Y/n) dreaded what else her son would do when panicked like this.

"Okay,"

(Y/n) nodded her head and slowly lowered herself down to her knees, still with Chris clinging to her front like a baby monkey. She gently shushed him and started to sway back and forth like when he was little and woke with nightmares. Her hand dug deep into his curls and she kissed his forehead repeatedly.

"Mummy, don't like it." His words were slurred around his thumb he was deeply biting down on, something he did when he was extremely happy or extremely unsettled.

"I know baby, we'll go home soon. I've got you," Shifting round, (Y/n) sat down on her bum, spread her legs out and kept Chris sitting on her lap. She could feel her legs beginning to burn and her lower back was starting to ache already but it didn't matter. What mattered was keeping Chris calm and safe, no matter what.

The stranger started to rant again but (Y/n) couldn't work out what he was saying, all she could hear was Chris whimpering into her neck and her heartbeat thudding rapidly in her ears.

Each can of beer the man threw made (Y/n) jerk and jump but when she watched the man throw down another bottle of whiskey just past the checkout near the window, fright took over her. He leaned down and set the alcohol alight with his lighter and jumped back to stop himself from getting lit up too.

This was bad.

With one arm still around Chris's waist and his face tucked into her neck- thankfully looking behind her so he couldn't see anything happening- (Y/n) dug around in her pocket. She fished her phone out and scrolled down to Eddie's contact. This was going to be hard.

"Ola mi amor, how are you? Did hydro go okay?" It was a relief to hear Eddie's voice after only two rings. Part of (Y/n) was afraid he would already be out on a call and wouldn't be able to answer and if she rang 911 they might think she was pranking them and hang up on her.

"Shh baby, good boy, everything will be okay." (Y/n) buried her nose and mouth into Chris's shoulder and kept her trembling hand between their merged chests. She had to have the phone close enough to speak and just about hear Eddie's voice on the other end but she couldn't let the stranger see in case it infuriated him or made him set another fire.

"(Y/n) what's wrong? Is Chris having a meltdown?" The panic was evident in Eddie's voice when his tone dropped an octave and a sterness overtook him.

"Hm,"

"Mi Amor why aren't you talking to me, is something happening?" Eddie reached his hand out and grabbed Bobby's arm, stopping him from walking past.

He'd never had (Y/n) ring him up like this before. If something was wrong she would always talk to him right away, she would rant and rave if something happened. She would panic or get upset if something was bothering her or Chris and if their son was particularly upset she would hand Chris the phone so Eddie could calm him down and talk to him. She always spoke when he answered, she wasn't giving clear answers right now and it was unnerving.

"Yes, baby."

Fear struck Eddie's heart and he pressed the phone tighter to his ear while simultaneously gripping Bobby's arm in a tighter grip.

"Where are you?" Eddie glanced at his watch strapped to his wrist and racked his brain. "Fuck, hydro's finished so… so are you at the store with Chris, for his book and chocolate?"

Eddie had all of Chris's routines memorised, each day was planned and specified because routines kept Chris happy and in order. He liked structure and if something had to change, they had to sit him down and explain what and why and make sure something else was in place for him. It made him feel calm to know what he was doing.

They had meal plans each week so Chris knew what he was eating each day, they had structures for shopping and only on a Saturday night would Chris ever try and watch a new movie. Every other day he stuck to the same Disney and cartoon movies he knew and liked.

Eddie knew by this time hydro was done and finished and they should be on their way home from the shop with his magazine and usual animal chocolate.

"Hm, yeah."

"Daddy?" Chris started to drool onto his hand and the back of (Y/n)'s shirt but she didn't care. She continued to smooth her free hand up and down his back.

"Shh, we need to stay quiet baby. We'll see daddy soon." She couldn't have Chris trying to talk to Eddie or she would have to hang up. The man couldn't know, if he knew she was calling someone, much less a firefighter, he would get manic.

"Mi amor," Eddie paused, gulped and took a shakey breath, "Are you being threatened or held hostage in the store?"

"That's right baby, we'll see daddy soon."

Bile rose in the back of Eddie's throat and he stumbled forward until Bobby held an arm out around his chest and hoisted him back up.

Oh God.

His family, his wife and son, they were being held hostage in the store. Chris had never been in a situation like this before. He had never been forced to stay somewhere or had his safety threatened. He didn't even watch movies about hostages or guns or violence, Chris wouldn't know what it meant or what was going on.

"We're coming, we'll be there soon mi amor I swear-"

"Who the fuck are you talking to? Why are you spouting shit?"

(Y/n) held the phone closer to her chest and continued to rock back and forth. This was going to give her a chance to speak a bit more freely to Eddie before she hung up. He knew what shop they always went to on a Friday, he had been part of this routine thousands of times each week. Eddie could get the team down here and help them out.

"I'm talking to my son, I told you you're frightening him."

"Stop talking-"

"Then let us leave, let me take him out of here-"

"No one's fucking leaving! This place will go up in flames if you keep testing me, bitch."

"Daddy! I want daddy. Home. Home. Home!"

Terror struck Eddie's heart when (Y/n) hung up on him. Why did he have to be on shift today? Why couldn't he of had today off and worked last Friday or next Friday instead? Anything to be there with his family right now. He could try and descale the argument and calm down the person threatening his family. He could of tried to get them out of there and keep them safe and make sure Chris wasn't going into a meltdown and (Y/n) wasn't panicked.

"(Y/n)…? (Y/n)! Fuck!!" Eddie let his weight drop onto Bobby as his vision blurred with tears and his head started to fill up with air.

They had to get down there. Now.

***

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) buried her nose in Chris's curls and tried to hum quietly in his ear but it didn't do anything to calm him down. If anything, she could feel his panic rising until he started to cry and he was itching to move in her arms. He kept his arms bound tight around (Y/n)'s neck like he was trying to strangle her but his legs kicked out against her hips and he squirmed until (Y/n) had to pin both arms around his waist as tight as she had ever done.

She couldn't have him try and fight his way out of her arms, she had to keep hold of him in case she had to make a break for it and run out of here. Chris wouldn't be able to run or hurry even with his crutches. (Y/n) had to be ready.

"Daddy. Home. Go Home!"

A tremor ran down (Y/n)'s spine when Chris slammed his hand down on her back and made her wince. He wasn't trying to hurt her, he was panicking and he didn't know what to do or how to make everything stop. He wanted his chocolate, his magazine and to be back at home without anything bad happening.

He wanted to be home with his parents, not stuck in a shop with people shouting and crying.

"Daddy's coming here to get us, he should be here soon baby," She continued to rock him back and forth despite how badly he was thrashing around in her arms.

"I want d-"

Chris shuddered and gasped in (Y/n)'s arms when the distant sound of a fire engine rattled the store and got closer. The team had gotten here, Eddie had gotten to them as fast as he could. They were going to get everyone out.

The siren continued to blaze which alerted the man that someone was going to come in and ruin whatever plan he had concocted. His violent shouts, the siren and the sudden blaring fire alarm in the store all became too much for Chris who started to scream at the top of his lungs. He chomped his teeth down on the side of his hand and smashed his forehead into (Y/n)'s shoulder as if he wanted to smother himself to make everything stop.

The action sent (Y/n) tumbling backwards into a shelf and her arms momentairely let go of Chris to cradle the back of her head.

A split second was all Chris needed to scramble out of his mum's arms and shuffle away. He felt like he had tunnel vision, all he could see was the door where he knew his dad and the team would be waiting for them. He wanted Eddie, he wanted uncle Buck and Bobby to get him and take him and his mum home. He wanted to be out of here now.

"Christopher!"

Rolling onto her stomach, (Y/n) scraped her knees on the floor to try and get to her feet and grab him when she saw the assailant bolt towards them.

There was only a split second for (Y/n) to decide what to do and in that moment, she hooked her hands under Chris's arms, hoisted him up off his feet and bolted towards the door.

"Cap I have to get in there-"

"We can't risk running in blind we don't know if he's holding them hostage, if he had a weapon or if he's hurt anyone."

"That's my family! He was threatening to light the place up!" Eddie slammed his fist into the side of the truck, relishing in the burn it ignited in his knuckles and how it caused his nerves to flare.

He had to get in that store now, he had to go in and get his family out and keep them safe, that was his job. Eddie's job was to protect people and keep them safe and if he couldn't protect his family, he shouldn't be doing this job. (Y/n) had called him, she had been desperate for help and Eddie had to do something about this situation.

"Someone's coming out," Hen dug her hand into Eddie's shoulder and pointed towards the entrance to the shop when the automatic doors opened.

"Eddie!"

His head snapped to the left in time to see his wife running out with Christopher in her arms. But right on her tail was a man with vengence in his eyes, fury on his face and his arms stretched out towards her.

Both Eddie and Buck set off into a run but their paces faltered when they watched the stranger grab a fistful of (Y/n)'s hair and yank her backwards forcefully. A strangled sound left her lips and she tilted Chris forward to give him a shove towards the team to get him safe.

The eight year old stumbled forward, tripped over his feet and went down on his knees. He pressed his palms back over his ears, screamed as loud as his lungs would allow and curved his chest down over his knees with his head pressed into his legs to hide himself away and become as small as possible. He was out, he wanted Eddie and he wanted to get in the car and go home, whatever was happening wasn't fun and he wanted it to stop.

"I got you, come here buddy." Buck reached down and scooped Chris up before he backtracked towards Chimney who was waiting uncertainly by the ambulance. He needed Chris as far away from the scene as possible and he had to check if he had any injuries.

"Get off! E-Eddie…"

(Y/n) reached behind her to try and grab the wrist that was tangled up in her hair and in a frantic panic, she waved her left arm to try and either hit him or get some leverage and add some distance between them. His hold was strong and the force he yanked her back with caused her to stumble down to her knees.

She couldn't help but scream when he slammed her head into the side of the door and tried his best to drag her back into the burning shop by her hair. Her head started to thud and everything turned and spun on its axis around her.

A pitiful howl left her lips when she felt his lighter scrape down her left arm from her elbow to her wrist and the flame licked and fizzed against her skin. She dug her nails into his face and screamed, digging her heels into the floor to try and stop him from moving her any further.

She could feel Eddie's name on the tip of her tongue until she managed to open her blurry eyes and saw him heading straight for her. She barely got to focus her vision before Eddie was lunging.

His elbow flew into the man's nose earning a successful snap and when his head shot back, Eddie grabbed his wrist and twisted it round so he dropped the lighter that had burned his wife. As swift as anything, Eddie dropped the left side of his body and pummeled his shoulder into the man's chest and took him down to the ground.

He pinned his knee down on the man's groin and curled his fingers into his palm, smashing his already bruised knuckles into the man's face causing blood to splatter across the gleaming white floor.

He wanted to keep going.

Eddie wanted to smash his fist into the man's face until the flesh tore apart and the bones were exposed. He wanted to pin him down and light up his skin like he'd just done to (Y/n) and drag him closer to the flames by the roots of his hair. Eddie wanted to frighten him and punish him and pummel him for terrorising his family like that.

His son was screaming and his wife had been attacked; Eddie wasn't going to let that lie.

"Eddie- hey, that's enough!"

"Let him burn!" Eddie's chest heaved beneath his shirt that he had been sweating through since he received (Y/n)'s phone call. His arms shook and tensed up and he fought with Hen and Bobby when they grabbed an arm each and dragged him backwards until he was level with (Y/n) who was doing her best to sit up.

They should evacuate any other people in the shop and leave him to be engulfed by the flames. He shouldn't be able to get out, he needed to sit and dwell and inhale the smoke he had started. He shouldn't get priority for anything.

"Get off," He huffed breathlessly and wrenched his arms free from their hold so he could collapse down on his knees in front of his wife.

He wasn't sure whether it was the smoke, the terror of the event or the relief of seeing his family relatively unharmed that made Eddie cry, but the tears drenched his face and he didn't bother to wipe them away.

(Y/n) curled her shaking arms around Eddie's neck and burrowed her face into his neck, hiccuping into his skin when he bound his arms around her and pulled her back into his lap. His face tucked into her hair and he closed his eyes, inhaling her scent to try and calm himself down but a storm was raging inside of him and his heart was working overtime until he was sure he was about to have a heart attack.

"Mi amor," His tone changed, became softer with a gentle edge and he nuzzled his nose into her hair so he could press multiple kisses against the side of her head.

"Eddie…" (Y/n) wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but she didn't have to say anything. She moved her shaking hand up from his neck to cup his face and bring him down for a tear stained kiss. "W-where's Chris?"

"Buck's got him, he's safe. Come here,"

Moving his hands down from her waist, Eddie cupped the back of her thighs and swiftly pulled her until her pelvis bumped into his groin. He curved her legs around his hips and kissed her again while his fingertips dug into the soft flesh of her thighs and he lifted her up with him. He stood up with (Y/n) clinging to his front and her lips glued to his jaw, something she knew would instantly calm him down.

He turned around and made his way over to the ambulance where he could see Buck. His friend was stood in front of the ambulance, a soft smile on his face and Christopher in his arms who was curled up into his chest, calmly biting his thumb.

Eddie carefully sat (Y/n) down on the edge of the ambulance and stood between her legs, feeling the heels of her feet pressing softly into his lower back just above his bum.

He reeled his arms back and reached out for (Y/n)'s left arm and gently squeezed her hand while he held her arm out in front of him for inspection. A light burn ran up the inside of her arm from her elbow down near her wrist, but it wasn't deep her extensive enough to need medical treatment. Cream and bandages would do just fine to make it blister and heal up in a week or so.

A small burn and a bash to the head was the best outcome Eddie could of asked for when he had fretted they would have smoke inhalation, loss of consciousness. He imagined bullet wounds, broken bones, third degree burns, the lot. Anything and everything ran through his mind when he thought about what could have happened with his family.

"Are you okay, buddy?" Eddie brushed his thumb across Chris's cheek when Buck gently sat him down on the ambulance next to (Y/n).

"Just a scrape on his knee, he'll be alright."

"Home," When Chris saw (Y/n) lean forward and bury her face into Eddie's chest, Chris pushed forward and wrapped his arm around his dad's leg. He pressed his chin into Eddie's thigh and tilted his head up so he could look up at him.

He wanted to go home now. He wanted Eddie to take them home and for this day to be over.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take you both home now."

#eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz imagine #eddie x reader #imagine #bobby nash #evan buckley #911 imagine #911 #911 fox

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valrvn · 1 month

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Survey Results pt. 2

Sorry about the wait, I had a six day work week.

Please Note: Many respondents said they weren't sure of the cause of their fetish, and could only offer suggestions. So again, some of these answers are guesses on the part of participants, and should be taken with a grain of salt.

Also, a couple of these graphs are breakdowns by percentage, these are indicated with a '(%)' next to the title

Reported Causes of Respondents' Fetish (%)

*Most respondents who said their fetish stemmed from encountering a pregnant person were young children at the time, a handful were teens. None were adults. Most pointed to pregnant grade school teachers and family members. Only a few cited complete strangers.

*"always had it" refers to respondents who claimed they had an unusual interest in pregnancy for as long as they could remember. Some of these cases started as a more general interest in large/round bellies that later crystalized into an interest with pregnancy.

*"kink osmosis" refers to those who developed their pregnancy fetish through other similar/connected fetishes.

*"didn't know" refers to those who claimed to not know (obviously) and offered no suggestions or guesses.

*"association of pregnancy with sex" refers mainly to those who first made the connection between pregnancy and sex in their childhood/early teens. Things like the first picture of a naked woman they ever saw being of a pregnant woman, leading them to subconsciously associate pregnancy with sex/sexuality.

*"playing pretend" refers to those who reported developing the fetish after playing pretend (either with dolls or with friends) as young children. NOT TO BE confused with those who claimed they would explore their interest/fetish through play, but didn't actually derive it from said play.

Types of Fetishes Which led to the Development of the Respondent's Pregnancy Fetish

*Many cited just a belly kink without going into further detail

Kink Osmosis (When Developed) Breakdown (%)

*As expected, only a small minority of respondents who cited kink osmosis as the source of their pregnancy fetish reported developing their pregnancy fetish during childhood.

*People who developed their pregnancy kink in adulthood are hugely over-represented in this category.

Types of Media Cited in by Respondents who Blamed Media Exposure (%)

*Many people specifically cited cartoon episodes where characters would get fat/round/inflated.

*Media cited by multiple respondents included Birth Stories 2000-2004 (a Canadian documentary TV series), A Baby Story 1998-2007 (an American reality show that ran on the Discovery Channel and TLC), Birth Day 2000- (an American TV series), The Fairly Oddparents 2001-2017 (specifically the episode where Cosmo gets pregnant), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (which adaptation was never specified), the Aliens franchise, Men in Black II (2002), and The Sims.

Breakdown of Responses by Those who Stated that the Interest in Pregnancy was Always There

Gender of Respondents who Cited Fear as the Cause of their Fetish

Gender of Respondents who Cited Their Gender as the Cause of their Fetish

*Cis men reported their fetish as stemming from a need to prove their masculinity/male identity, cited a lack of confidence in said masculinity

*Trans women often cited gender euphoria associated with fantasies of pregnancy

*most trans men, AFAB NB people, and cis women cited a discomfort or fear regarding their ability to become pregnant, though a few trans men and AFAB NB also claimed that transitioning led to them reclaiming their reproductive abilities.

Types of Experiences Among Those who Cited Personal Experience as the Cause of their Fetish

A FEW NOTES

*two people specifically cited the art of metalforever on DeviantArt as the cause of their fetish

*YouTube was cited by 13 people, specifically birth videos, and in one case, those Elsa Spider-Man content farm videos.

*fanfiction and fanart were also a common source of people's fetishes

*6 people pointed to a parents/close relatives or family friends who were medical professionals who worked regularly with pregnant patients (midwives, nurses, doctors, OBGYNs).

*23 people recounted 'playing pretend' as young children and acting out scenarios involving pregnancy and/or birth.

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meowmeowriley · 6 months

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Well. I am now going crazy over Soap showing the team a picture of him holding a brace of fat, fluffy rabbits on his family's farm. The cuts are so clean there's hardly any blood staining their fur, and he's holding them so proudly, big wide smile on his face. And Ghost has some Feeeeeeeeelings about it does he want to hide from that sharp grin? does he want to be one of those rabbits, limp in Johnny's hand? would Johnny enjoy him as much as them?)

excuse me while i scream

😑 I hate you. I hate you, because I love this. (I don't actually hate you, anon, I could never ❤) I hadn't planned on going anywhere with this buuuuutttt.....

The subject of family came up, as it often does, but being on base and between missions, the men of the 141 could share photos.

Price showed the team pictures of himself as a boy, fishing with his dad. Some of him as an adult, more fishing. They'd all dismissed the boonie hat as being part of his wardrobe simply because he'd been issued it, but he hadn't. His grandfather had been issued the hat, and he'd worn it. And Price's father had worn it. And now him. The Price name had a legacy, stored in that hat.

Gaz shared photos of himself as a teen, his sisters, himself with his girlfriend. She was a shifter, though he didn't specify her species at first. She had gorgeous silky black hair, beautiful bronze skin. He said they'd met in Brazil, where she was from, and he was crazy about her. As he flipped through his camera roll on his phone, selfie after selfie of the two, each was more adorable than the last. She clung to Gaz, hung off him in nearly every picture. In some, her eyes were more black, than others. Sometimes she had black claws instead of fingernails.

"Why won't ye tell us, Gaz?"

"I don't want to have to hate you, mate."

"Tell us, and I'll tell you what I am." Ghost piped up from behind everyone.

Price's eyes went wide. He had no clue, though the other two thought he did. It had been erased from his file before they'd ever met, and he'd been denied any time he'd asked. Soap had nearly begged him, on multiple occasions. Gaz took the bait. "She's a spider shifter."

"What the fuuuuck?" Soap whispered. It earned him a smack from Gaz.

"Fuck off, Soap. Go on then, Ghost."

He smiled beneath his mask. "Well I never said when I'd tell you." He was smug, sue him. It earned him a laugh from Price, a groan from his sergeants. Soap took his turn next.

He had a photo album. Clearly well loved. Spoke of his family fondly. "Ah'm one of six, so there's plenty of picture." He was proud of his large family. Showed off pictures of tired yet happy parents, fields and a little farm house. Picture of his siblings. And then he saw it. A picture of a young man, unmistakably Johnny, even though his eyes were too narrow to see the brilliant blue, his enormous toothy smile gave him away. the young teen held a brace of rabbits, both tied by their rear legs together. Bloody noses the only real sign of their demise, other than the fact that they were held upside down by a kid.

It wasn't really a surprise, Soap had been vocal since the task force had been formed about his love for rabbits, that he'd grown up with meat rabbits, that he loved the taste. His mother had even sent him a care package on multiple occasions with rabbit stew, which he immediately tore into. He'd offer to share with the rest of the team. Nobody noticed that all but Ghost accepted.

Soap's voice was muffled. Ghost barely made out something about it being his first time, and he was proud. One of the rabbits had a light grey pelt. Light grey interspersed with white and black, similar to that of some wild rabbits. It could easily be a smaller version of himself. It could be him. The feeling churning within himself, he couldn't place. He wanted to thump, to warn the others, there's danger here... But... That could be him. And would it really be so bad? If it were Johnny to string him up as such?

The page turned.

Ghost started.

He hadn't realized the others were still talking. He couldn't hear them. How long had it been? It was then he realized he'd gone tharn. Instinct had taken over, and like many of his kin he'd frozen in the face of danger. That had never happened to him before. But then again, the danger had never been so tempting.

As the second youngest of twelve, Simon had known from a young age he was different than his siblings. He was off. He had a screw loose. It was always blamed on his father, he and Tommy having a different one to the rest. But Tommy turned out okay. Simon joined the army. In the army his twisted nature suited their needs just fine.

Soap finished up.

All turned to Ghost.

His hands clenched around the book he had stored in the long pocket of his jumper. It was special. A copy of Watership Down, his favorite book as a child and the thing his mother blamed for his desire to serve, but this one was different. When he'd signed up, his eldest sister had gone to the bookshop and bought this one, then had it rebound with photo slots at the end of it. His favorite story, and his favorite people. It contained photos of his family. His mother, eleven siblings, and numerous niblings. Himself. With so many, it was nearly impossible to take a photo where no one was shifted. And it was actually impossible to get one without at least partial shifts.

He swallowed down the instinct to run, and removed his hands from his pocket.

#ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #cod mw2 #call of duty #modern warfare #fanfic #text post #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #monsterfucker!gaz #rabbit shifter ghost #shifter au #captain john price

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bonefall · 8 months

Note

are amphibians like newts and frogs considered aquatic? i know crustaceans & mollusks would be

Yes they are! Generally, the more time it spends on land, the closer it will be to 5 calories than 4. The estimate was actually based on frogs and tadpoles, I had to make an educated guess.

My best source was a feeding chart from a reptile food website which sells whole small prey for consumption by snakes. It perfectly lists out the values of dozens of small animals, but no fish. So I took a note of the 4 calorie estimate, observed that an adult frog increases in calories compared to tadpoles (bucking the trend with the others on the list where younger animals are worth more caloric value) and went on to do more research

I couldn't find a source that broke down WHOLE prey caloric value like the chart, so I ended up comparing caloric value between rabbit fillets, chicken fillets, and fish fillets on human-centric nutrition websites. My hypothesis was mostly consistent, even with more species added. Fish (perch, flounder, pike) < Wild Mammal (rabbit, squirrel) < Poultry (chicken, turkey, quail). There was overlap between "classes", certain fish getting over the 100 hump, but generally there was a trend I boiled down into 4/5/6

This is consistent with how a lot of fish meat is actually water. In fact, cats quench a lot of their thirst from the food they eat. I also learned some very interesting stuff about the fat distribution in fish which is going to blow a bit of a hole in some of my Clan culture stuff lmaoooo, but I'll furiously swim across that obliterated bridge when I get there

But funfact! Fish oil is rendered fish fats and it is the form that unsaturated fat takes, whereas lard is what saturated fats become. I need to do more research into this topic to understand what kind of difference it would make in a wild cat's diet.

There was one big bucked trend though: salmonid meat was WAAAAY higher in fat and calories. Like, absurdly high. Like 150 cal trout fillet vs 110 cal of rabbit fillet vs 88 cal of perch fillet.

I do not know why that is. My guess is that maybe it's because they were taking the number from farmed salmonids? Maybe it's because they're particularly fatty fish? Perhaps this is just the raw power of salmon slammin'.

Anyway, at one point I was trying to estimate exact caloric value per popular prey species, but decided I didn't have the "backing" to get so exact with the numbers since I was doing estimates with the fish. I'll do the work if it comes down to it, but for now, 4/5/6 is a quick, easy guideline you can use for just about any WC project.

#I was planning for Bb!RiverClan to be the guys who didn't cook much #Being quite snooty about it and insisting it's good for you #But it turns out they're actually at the highest risk of getting worms for that #Maybe I'll keep it for the irony because that sounds VERY funny #Cleric in the corner SOBBING because Waterpool just caught tapeworms for the 4th time #Willowpelt over in TC like ''I ALWAYS KNEW THEIR GLOSSY COATS WERE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!''#No wonder her daughter Sorrel has a thing about worms lmaoo #I need to do more research but what I've come across here is that. Like. Actually?#A fish-only diet might cause a lot of really specific and pretty serious problems in RC #Another is that fish have so many micronutrients that some of the sites I visited were warning about some of those 'overdose' side effects.#The carp example was just the most interesting #I guess I had been assuming a lot based on the conception of fish as being 'the healthy meat'#Clan culture #Nutrition guide #Bone babble

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liveinfitness · 10 days

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#Live In Fitness #Weight loss camp #Adult fitness camp #Fitness retreat #adult weight loss camp #Weight loss bootcamp #Fat camp #Fat camp for adults #Fat farm for adults #Fat farm #Fat farm to lose weight #Fat farm weightless camp #Fitness camp for adults #Adult weight loss retreat #Weight loss retreat #Weightless retreat for women

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fitnessretreatt · 2 months

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#Fat camp for adults #Fat farm for adults #Fat farm #Fat farm to lose weight #Fat farm weightless camp #Fitness camp for adults

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o-craven-canto · 3 months

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Recent evolutionary adaptations to the environment in human populations, from Going global by adapting local: A review of recent human adaptation (Fan et al., 2016). The icons show the type of adaptation recorded in various parts of the world, and the acronyms besides (e.g. EDAR1) are the names of the involved genes. Also see Genome-wide detection and characterization of positive selection in human populations (Sabeti et al., 2009), Population Genomics of Human Adaptation (Lachance & Tishkoff, 2013).

Some examples are:

Lactase persistence in Europe, Near East, and East Africa, allowing the digestion of milk in adult age (by default, the lactase required to digest milk sugar would only be produced by infants; this was just a matter of removing a timed switch).

Similarly, greater production of amylase, which breaks down starch, is reported in Europe and Japan (diet based on farmed grains) and among the Hadza of Tanzania (diet based on starchy tubers).

Improved conversion of saturated into unsaturated fatty acids in the Arctic Inuit peoples. This makes it easier to live on a diet of fish and marine mammals in an environment where plant food is scarce.

Smaller stature ("defined as an average height of <150 cm in adult males") in the "pygmy" peoples (Aka and Mbuti) of Central Africa, and other hunter-gatherer peoples in equatorial Asia and South America. This helps shed heat in a hot humid climate where sweat does not evaporate.

More efficient fat synthesis in the Samoa, helping with energy storage at the price of more risk of obesity or diabetes with a richer modern diet.

Improved resistence to malaria, sleeping sickness (trypanosome), and Lassa fever in Subsaharan Africa. Fighting off against parasites is especially difficult (since unlike the inorganic environment, parasites also evolve), so this resistence often comes at a cost, such as anhemia, but is still a great advantage on net. Some improved resistence to arsenic poisoning is noted in an Argentinian population.

Denser red blood cells on the Andean, Ethiopian, and Tibetan highlands, to carry more oxygen which is scarcer at high altitude. I recall from elsewhere that this might increase the risk of thrombosis or strokes due to obstructed blood vessels.

Less melanin (which blocks UV light) and therefore lighter skin color in Eurasia. Melanin shields skin cells from damage due to UV radiations, but some UV light is necessary for the synthesis of vitamin D.

A change in the gene EDAR1, resulting in denser head hair, slightly different tooth shape, and fewer sweat glands (all skin annexes), appears strongly selected for in East Asia, but as far as I can find the advantage of this mutation is still unknown.

From another article (Ilardo et al., 2018): the Sama Bajau people of Indonesia, who have a long tradition of free-diving in apnea, seem to have developed larger spleen to store more oxygenated blood during dives.

#biology #evolution #human evolution #how beauteous mankind is

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stardust-sunset · 5 months

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pets i think the main 5 would have

cartman

he would definitely have a cat (or 3)

he’s like a crazy cat lady and all his cats are really mean lol

They’re all fat too because he spoils them

He’s not great with animals but he’s not terrible either

he just loses his temper a lot (judging by how he was with mr. kitty)

also i wish fluffy would make a return

stan

he ends up with a number of pets

i like to hdc he majors in animal science and he ends up nursing a lot of animals back to health

he’s been banned from animal shelters by his friends because he adopts like al the pets in there (exaggerating ofc)

but he’s awful at naming them

they’re all either the most basic dog/cat names out there or they’re human names

like he has a snake named Joe and a lizard named Michael or something

probably named his dog rover or smth basic (he’s not too creative)

kyle

i don’t care what you say kyle is a fan of animals (let’s not forget his elephant. also there was a clip of gerald walking a dog that i saw so maybe they have one?)

but kyle wanted a dog (he’s not a cat guy) so when he was moved out and had the money he was looking for a dog that would actually run with him

he ends up getting a german short haired pointer/german shepherd mix

he named it bucky because he’s one of those marvel fans lmao

he wanted a dog that would run around with him but also a dog that would calm down when he wanted it to

so after a lot of training he got exactly that lol

kenny

kenny would have really exotic animals

he has an ant farm (which is just ants he collected around the house)

he would probably have rats and mice aa well

he befriended an opossum so there was that as well

he makes up funny names for all his animals

its like the most random shit like he’ll just be all ‘oh yeah this is william snakespeare and alexander rattington IV’

he’s pretty okay with animals tbh

butters

butters would live on a farm as an adult i just know it

he adopts a border collie and names it waffles

he loves the cuter animals. he raises chicks and bunnies and names them all just really random shit

He also adopts three kittens to act as mice patrol in his barn

he probably names them after breakfast foods too

so he just has cats named pancake, toast and bacon

he names his farm animals really randomly though like he did in fun with veal

he has cows, chicks, bunnies, pigs donkeys, ponies, you name it.

i like to hdc he finds a good job that pays REALLY well (because he’s butters of course he would find a job like that) and he wants to buy things that make him happy. like animals.

he donates a lot to animal shelters and anti abuse organizations too

really random but was thinking about it because i’m making kyle have a dog in my comic lmao

#skipper speaks #south park #eric cartman #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #butters stotch #south park headcanons

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princessconsuela120 · 10 months

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Since it's spooky season, could you do an aged up ff about you convincing stan's friend group to go trick or treating with you?

PRINCESSCONSUELA'S FALLFEST EVENT🍂🧣🎃🍃

🧣 - Cozy Up: Send in any fluff requests from the prompt list that should be posted shortly. I will write a short blurb for any prompt.

—🧣

Summary: it’s Halloween, so you convince the boys to go trick or treating…even though you’re all on high school now.

Warnings: cursing, South Park…all warnings that come with that.

Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long, but I adored this idea!!! More Fallfest docs coming out tonight!!! Enjoy!

—🧣

IT WAS AN EXCEPTIONALLY WARM DAY FOR FALL IN SOUTH PARK. Like Cartman liked to say, the only two seasons in South Park were Winter and July, but today was different. It was warm, WARM! In South Park! You couldn’t just let that pass up.

“Come on guys, please! Look at the sun, it’s shining! Have you ever seen the sun before?” You rambled, practically running circles around the boys as they walked to class. You and been friends with them since the 4th grade, and now being Juniors in high school, it was safe to say you were very close.

“Yes I’ve seen the damn sun before y/n.” Cartman snarked, choosing to miss the point of what you were saying. You rolled your eyes, shoving him lightly as the other boys chuckled.

“We could be scooby doo, or, what about..”

“I swear to god, if you suggest crayons again I’m going to scream.” Kyle said, making you groan, shaking him lightly with impatience.

“Oh come on you guys.”

“I don’t know y/n it’s just, we’re in high school now. Isn’t there like, a legal age limit for trick or treating.” Stan said, making Cartman scoff, nudging you back.

“Yeah, it ends at 8 years old.” He teased, making you roll my eyes yet again.

“I’m sure Kenny wasn’t to go, don’t you?”

“Anything for free candy.” Kenny said, the two of you high diving as Cartman rolled his eyes in defeat.

“Yeah you know what, I can be a kid for the night for some free candy.”

“You don’t need anymore candy fatass.” Kyle teased, Cartman turning to look at him angrily.

“Aye!” He shouted, as you and Kyle laugh to each other.

“I guess I’ll go. Got nothing better to do anyways.” Stan says, shrugging as you jump up and down with excitement. You turn to Kyle, rubbing your shoulder happily against his as you smiled.

“Yay! So Kyle, what’s it gonna be?” You teased, making him sigh.

“Fine.” He pointed a finger at you. “But I’m not being a damn crayon.” You nodded in agreement before jumping and squealing happily.

—🧣

SOMEHOW YOU HAD MANAGED TO CONVINCE THE BOYS TO BE THE GHOST BUSTERS. You had found a bucket of green paint in Stan’s farm-from good knows what- and paint Cartman head to toe in green paint. You sewed together some makeshift green outfit for him to wear and deemed him the ghost to your quartet. You can only imagine how happy that made Cartman.

“Why did I have to be the ghost?” He whined, stomping behind the four of you as you came up to your first door.

“Because your fat.” Kyle said, not missing a beat.

“Aye!”

“What he meant to say, was that you just shine, like a ghost would shine.” You say, as Cartman scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Oh cut the crap y/n.”

“Trick or treat!” You all shouted, bright smiles on all your faces as the two adults at the door greeted you with excitement.

“Oh honey look, it’s the ghost busters!” The one woman said, nudging her husband as she pointed out Cartman.

“Yeah, and Bruce vilange.” Her husband cheered, making Cartman fume.

“God damnit I’m not Bruce villange! I’m a ghost!”

“Oh, of course you are honey.” The woman said nicely, making cartman scoff, grabbing the serving bowl from the lady and dumping half of it into his pillow case, causing you and the other boys to laugh.

“Just gimme the damn candy.” He grumbled, making you lean onto Stan as you laughed even harder. “I hate you guys.”

—🧣

“YOU GIVE ME YOUR ALMOND JOYS AND I'LL GIVE YOU MY PRETZELS.” Cartman bargained, making you frown as you held the blue wrapped candy up to you chest protectively. The five of you were now sitting in Stan’s living room, the contents of your pillow cases spilled out infront of you as you made trades for candy. Most of the time, when you were younger atleast, all the bags of chips and pretzels and drinks that you all got, you would all donate to Kenny, so he could take something home for his family. And besides that, he got to bring home the candy no one else would eat. Now Cartman on the other hand, would always try to go to bed Halloween night with even more candy than he had walking in the house. You of course, wouldn’t let this happen.

“But I want my almond joys.” You mumbled, a pour on your face as Cartman sighed, waving the bag of pumpkin shaped pretzels in the air.

“Well, don’t you want some pretzels?”

“Sure, here. I’ll give you my almond joys.” You handed him a few candy bars as he clapped excitedly.

“One bag of pretzels is equal to four.” Cartman corrected, making you roll your eyes.

“Right okay, well pretend that makes sense. Now, you give me your pretzels.”

“Ooo, ghost and pumpkin shaped, how spooky. Now, you give me back two almond joys.”

“Okay.”

“And I give you back your pretzels.”

“Okay.”

“Now you give me three more almond joys.”

“But there’s only two in my hands.” Cartman pouted, as you shook you head at him, gesturing to his pillow case.

“Then take it out of your bag.”

“Good idea.” He said, quickly digging for almond joys in his bag.

“Okay, and now you give me your pretzels.”

“Perfect. Aye!” Cartman yelled, watching angrily as you proudly stuffed both the new almond joys and spooky pretzels into you bag.

“No more candy trades boys, I’m all out.” You teased, dusting off your hands as Kyle Stan and Kenny all applauded you with amusement.

“That was amazing.” Stan muttered, making you chuckle as Cartman pouted in the corner, almost just like when you were kids. It was wonderful to be kids again on Halloween. Something the boys had missed. And even if they wouldn’t admit it, in fear of bruising their pride, they were happy you convinced them to go.

—🧣

#south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #stan marsh x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny mccormick #eric cartman #eric cartman x reader #south park #south park imagine #PrincessConsuelasfallfest2023

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