#Fake bell ross

[verdemoun]

how would undead nightmare fit into timewarp canon, if at all?

lmao this was fun to imagine

In timewarp, the timewarpers still leave a corpse behind when they timewarp. John still buried his daughter, Jack still buried John, Charles still found Arthur's body and buried him, ect.

A brief derail, most of the gang have gotten curious about where their remains are. MOST were exhumed over the course of the century to make room for land developments, meaning that Sean, Lenny, Hosea, Karen, Eliza, Isaac, and Grimshaw's bodies/bones are now actually at a museum as unidentified remains. Dutch, Micah, Javier and Bill were given unmarked graves in a cemetery owned by the Bureau.

Arthur's remains are still where Charles buried him. The Marstons + Uncle are still at Beecher's Hope, but their graves unmarked and locations forgotten. Poor Molly's remains are scattered over Roanoke Ridge, as her body was left exposed for scavengers.

Eagle Flies' remains were in possession of the museum, but the modern Wapiti tribe advocated for his remains to be returned and he's now buried in the heartlands on land returned to the Wapiti people.

Lenny made the mistake of googling about Kieran's remains, since they were meant to be at Shady Belle. They still are! But because Mary-Beth was so well known, Shady Belle and therefore the graves at Shady Belle have been extensively documented. This means he saw a 3d representation of Kieran's skeleton as created through the use of ground penetrating radar, and a forensic analysis of what happened to him.

When Lenny, mortified, asked if Kieran really was alive when they started cutting off his head, Kieran chuckled through a mouthful of pizza and signed 'yeah I could've told you that'.

There is also a fan theory that Mary-Beth, in her declining years, was the one to kill the unknown 'Kieran Duffy' buried at her property while trying to get into character to write of her best selling novels: a supernatural romance/thriller similar to Jane Eyre but including the presence of a mysterious headless horseman. Kieran, with the worse sense of humor known to man, thinks this is hilarious.

But back to undead nightmare.

Since the gang leave bodies behind when they timewarp it is: a) entirely possible that if the gang were zombies in undead nightmare, John would have had to take them out and then explain the really weird month of 1911 where he killed the gang's reanimated flesh eating corpses to them b) if undead nightmare happened post-timewarp, the gang would have to fight their own zombies.

I personally won't consider undead nightmare part of timewarp canon, but if it did was Jack wouldn't have gone after Edgar Ross because John's zombie canonically had his soul and therefore would have probably been able to raise Jack? Imagine zombified John being a comfort to Abigail in her last months and still helping Jack with the ranch. Jack would have lived a 'normal' life and not timewarped, either.

Abigail, having also seen zombie John, would be extremely confused to see John alive after she timewarped.

They'd discover that Zombie John, while undead, still decomposed and completely disintegrated somewhere around 1924. He did, however, successfully bite the us army agents trying to force Jack to enlist in WWI, which allowed Jack to avoid it, but also meant zombies played a significant role in WWI. By WWII, Jack was too old and wealthy to be drafted and the non-revenant zombies proved too dangerous to be major factors.

The mask is now on display in the museum.

Jack went on to write novels and live a good life, much like Mary-Beth, retelling the stories of the VDLs and also what it was like being raised (for lack of a better word) by a zombified John.

The fact zombies actually existed for a brief decade in the early 20th century was lost to time, mostly dismissed as rabies or PTSD in soldiers. Jack's novel about zombie John is revered, but considered to be a metaphor about what it was like being raised by a John who faked his death but had a range of neurological conditions including: alcoholism (the stumbling, slurred groans), a brain injury (loss of language, bites when defensive) and suffering 'shell-shock' from gang days (how the zombies were dismissed in WWI).

[9leaguesofmirrors]

Weekend Comfort (a Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe fanfic)

Not sure what else to say, just had this silly idea of Ross having an awful day and Lisgoe trying to make it better - despite being awful at comfort

Lisgoe could tell Ross was out of it the moment he walked through the door and fell into the sofa, eyes closed and head leaning against the backrest. Not a word was spoken until Lisgoe said something:

"You alright?"

Obviously not, you daft twat, look at him!

"Just tired..." came the reply "I'll live."

"You look like death warmed up if I'm being honest."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"You love my honesty-"

"Not when I feel like this." Ross groaned as he sat up, massaging his temple "I've got a throbber."

Confused, Lisgoe's eyes dragged down, much to the chagrin of his partner

"In my head, Joseph."

"Seems alright to me-"

"My other head."

"Oh."

Watching his partner tut with annoyance, Lisgoe realised that this problem needed solving fast. So he stood up and headed for the kitchen, rummaging around in the fridge mumbling to himself

"Joseph? Need a hand in there?"

"What do sick people have?"

"You should've said," Ross stood up and joined him "I'd have gotten you some tablets or-"

"Not me, this is for you."

"I'm not sick."

"No, but you have a headache." Lisgoe took some milk out of the fridge and went over to the counter, taking two mugs and boiling the kettle "This might help."

Ross sighed, leaning against the counter

"You don't have to."

"Maybe not. But I want to."

"I'm fine, Joseph-"

He was interrupted by Lisgoe holding his upper arms firmly

"Ross. You're not well."

"I've been worse-"

"That's not a fucking good thing! Christ, you need to sit down. Or take a shower, do something to freshen up."

"Need to stay here," Ross gestured to the kettle "make sure you don't burn the house down."

Lisgoe furrowed his brows, jaw tightening in irritance. Eventually, Ross sighed

"OK, fine, I'll take a shower." He rested his hand on top of his partner's, running his thumb along it "This... thank you. It's nice."

"Will be if I don't burn the house down."

That made them both laugh and Ross moved his fingers under his partner's chin, tilting his head towards him and kissing him gently

"I'll be alright Joseph, I'm just-"

"Fucking hell, just get in the shower!" Lisgoe laughed

Ross went to leave when he heard a phone ring, he watched as Lisgoe picked his up, reading the name

Cameron Bell

"That someone from work?"

"Yeah," Lisgoe declined the call and went to message the person "started recently. I'll get back to him." He put his phone back in his pocket, focusing on making the tea "You're my top priority."

"I'm not fragile, Joseph." His partner teased as he made his way upstairs

Lisgoe ran his tongue along his teeth

"We'll see about that!" He called back

*********************************************

Ross wasn't surprised to hear the bathroom door opening while he was inside, he figured his partner was either peeing or just wanted to be his usual self

Taptaptap

Lisgoe was stood in front of the shower door, thunking his knuckle against it

Right. He's being his usual self then

He opened the shower door with a tired yet slightly playful smile

"Can I help you, Joseph?"

"I just realised something. You never really talk about that Pauline."

Ross sighed

"Joseph, can we talk about this later-"

"I mean, was she really that bad?"

His eyes narrowed

"Yes. Yes, she was."

"You say that, but I'm not sure. I mean, apparently she got married."

"To Mickey," said an impatient Ross "but she died."

"Apparently she faked it. Ran off."

"What is this about-"

Lisgoe took off the ring on his index finger and moved it to his ring one. He smiled softly at Ross

"Joseph, please, I'm not in the-"

"Nine years. That's how long she was destitute for. Because of you." Lisgoe went over to the window and pulled a padlock out of his pocket, locking it tightly "Nine years, she suffered."

"I have no sympathy."

"Maybe not." Lisgoe reached into the shower and turned the temperature up to its highest setting "But I knew I couldn't let you get away with hurting my fiancèe like that so I sought you out. Let you live happily for nine years."

For a moment, Ross was stunning into silence. Suddenly, he jolted back with a yell as Lisgoe yanked up the pressure on the shower

"Why, Joseph? Why didn't you just leave me?"

"Because I want your last moments to be spending wondering what's worse: nine years of hell, or nine years of bliss being stripped from you."

Ross watched Lisgoe shut the shower door. He gripped the handle, desperately trying to tear them open. By the time Lisgoe pulled away, there was already a padlock in place

All Ross could do was scream. Scream and slam on the shower door as hot steam scorched the room. His partner, the man he told all his secrets to, all of his darkest parts, left the room and locked the door behind him

As his body got weaker and weaker, Ross slumped against the moist wall behind him. The world closed into him in a haze of translucent heat. His eyes remained fixed on the door, clinging onto the pathetic hope that Joseph would have a change of heart. That his partner was still there, somewhere

Cameron Bell...

Cam Bell

Campbell

Have a shower, Ross... freshen up...

Joseph...

"Ross?"

Upon hearing his name, he jolted slightly looking around the room

His living room

He was in his living room

Lisgoe was next to him, looking slightly confused

"You alright? You kinda... went off."

Ross looked at the TV as credits began rolling

"Told you it was a great episode, second favourite one." Lisgoe said "Private View's better though. But you might like Riddle Of The Sphinx."

That's when Ross started to connect the dots

"You alright?"

"Just tired... I'll live."

"You look like death warmed up if I'm being honest."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Alright, alright! Tell you what, we'll see what's on the telly. Pretty sure Inside No. 9's on tonight."

"That's the Black Mirror-y one you like."

"Yeah, there's a rerun of the season 8 finale tonight. Last Weekend, that's what it's called."

"Still can't believe he'd do that to his own partner, fucking hell!"

Ross looked at his partner in silence, not sure what to say after... whatever trick his mind had just played

"You're clearly out of it." Lisgoe went to stand up "I'll boil the kettle and-"

"NO!" The volume surprised them both "I mean. No. Thank you. I'll make it myself."

"O...kay?" Lisgoe nodded, trying not the laugh "Go ahead!"

Ross nodded, getting up and making a beeline for the kitchen. He chose to ignore Lisgoe when he said:

"Slow down! Christ, you'll end up scalding yourself!"

A/N: ... Happy April Fools :)

Hope you enjoyed this little prankfic, be sure not to spoil it in the comments! Promise my next one will be genuine

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Wanna know about my history with soap operas? Well... I know that I’ve shared my love for Dominique Deveraux - TV’s First Black Bitch on the original Dynasty, but that wasn’t the only soap that I watched as a kid and while she was my first, here are a few more Black women in soap operas who I paid attention to (and mostly saw first on soaps).

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Senait Ashenafi ♡ Keesha Ward, General Hospital: This is one of my favorite soap girls of all times. She was sweet and pretty, and she was in one of my first ships as a preteen? I don't recall how old I was when I was watching this, but I was obsessed. I would rewatch her scenes with Jason all the time on VHS tapes. I stopped watching some time after they broke up.

Felecia Bell ♡ Simone Hardy, General Hospital: I did not watch General Hospital during the days of earlier Simone casting. But in my soaps heyday, and I mean I set the VCR for my soaps when I wasn't home and watched them when I got home, and Felecia Bell was Simone at that time period. I thought it was interesting to see a character that I was told had a historical landmark for daytime tv.

Renee Elise Goldsberry ♡ Evangeline Williamson, One Life to Live: I had many run ins with OLTL, but the last time I watched it, I had been lured back by one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life! I CRIED when she left the show. I tried to stick around to see what they'd do with her sister, but I quickly lost interest and have not seen the show since.

Rhonda Ross ♡ Toni Burrell, Another World: I wasn't extremely fond of this character, but she had the first Black rape survivor story arc that I can recall seeing and I still remember images of the court trail in my mind today. AND! She was the first Diana Ross child that I knew of. Diana Ross was so important to me in my childhood, her daughter was important by proximity.

Tracey Ross, Brook Kerr, Lena Cardwell ♡ The Russells, Passions: Sometimes... You see a show that is like a decade long fever dream. That show is Passions. Some might have called it a guilty pleasure, but I don't be guilty about my pleasures and Passions was my pleasure. NONSENSE! But very entertaining. I was not around for all them Simones, but Idk the two lightskint ones apart, so idk which one was on by the time I simply fell off this show.

Lynn Hamilton ♡ Cissie Johnson, Dangerous Women: I definitely didn't see her first in Dangerous Women, but her role in that, as Cissie Johnson was a pretty significant part of a short lived serious that I thought was amazing. It was about women who had been in prison, one fakes her death, escapes, Sqand gets plastic surgery, and there's a lot of stuff that revolves around the ex cons. Cissie was kind of a mammy character, in hindsight, but as a kid, she was a nice Black lady on a show full of snakes and liars.

She was also on Generations, a soap opera that I called, "The Black Soap Opera," because there were SO MANY Black people in the cast, and other soaps just did not do that back then.

Sidenote: Generations was the first time that I saw Vivica A. Fox, but I didn't learn her name until Patti Labelle's sitcom Out All Night. Y'all have NO IDEA how much I loved and watched any and every Black show they gave us, even though they never really lasted long. I missed Generations SO MUCH, despite it only being on for a couple of years.

Sharon Leal ♡ Dahlia Crede, Guiding Light: I thought she was the most beautiful woman ever to be on a soap opera. That was basically it. I was only sort of watching Guiding Light, so I barely remember anything about her character, but I collected every photo of her that they put into my mama's soap magazines.

Mari Morrow ♡ Rachel Gannon, One Life to Live: This character also has been recast several times, but during my consumption, it was Mari Morrow, when Rachel was in her addiction storyline.

Enuka Okuma ♡ Kelly, Fifteen: It took me a ridiculous amount of time to remember that Enuka had been Kelly on Fifteen!! I was excited to realize that, even though still to this day, nobody I speak with ever remembers this show. A Nickolodeon teen drama? Excellent, I loved it. Nick was so good in my day.

I included Arseman, even though I have not seen her since. But, she was rep too, so. There she is.

Sherri Saum ♡ Vanessa Hart, Sunset Beach: Now... this one is a little different, because I don't remember actually LIKING this character, but she's pretty and whenever I'd see people reblog that Fosters show, I'd always envision my older sister imitating her soap character's boyfriend saying her name (Because my sister hated his acting and imitated him funnily to me) First time I saw this lady and that man, but he later wound up in Shondaland.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Garcelle Beauvais ♡ Cynthia Nicols, Models Inc.: This show was a primetime soap. A spin off of Melrose Place. (Melrose Place being a spin off of Beverly Hills 90210), and Garcelle Beauvais gabe me EVERYTHING an angsty child needed inher soaps. This character went through SO MUCH and was SO important to me! She was bulimic. She had an obsessive ex who stalked her. Who KIDNAPPED her and assaulted her in front of her tied up new boyfriend. He had been sending her Black Barbie dolls bound and blindfolded, and when she got down with her new man, he yoinked her. She wound up having to kill him and I supported every moment of her in that one season of a show it feels like only me, my mama and my older sister watched.

[tumbler-town-incorrectquotes]

Ross: *Dumping a bunch of ‘weight loss’ books onto a huge unlit pyre in a giant hole* I think that’s the last of them!

Fen: *Dumping a bunch of ‘dating advice alphamale’ books onto the pyre* Same here

Caden: You think the pit is big enough?

Sage: *Rushes in* What is going on here?!

Ross:…

Fen:…

Caden: …We’re trying to cleanse the world of this harmful fake information

Sage: Without me?

[Nice.]

(Assistant - @evilassistantbutnotmean Fen & Sage - @sagehyperfixates Caden - @the-belle-siblings)

[aggressivelyarospec]

‘Aro Tunes Thursday’: Master List ⇝ March / April 2023

[Completed 4/28/23] | [Spotify]

Screwed — Janelle Monáe (ft. Zoë Kravitz) [Link]

Be My Own Boyfriend — Olivia Dean [Link]

Nunca Tristes (Me Vale Madre) — RENEE [Link]

Pay For It — Mindless Self Indulgence [Link]

Make Me Your Queen — Declan McKenna [Link]

VOID — Melanie Martinez [Link]

Best Friend Breakup — Lauren Spencer Smith [Link]

What About Me — Godsmack [Link]

I Won't Send Roses — Mack & Mabel [Link]

I Really Don’t Think So — K-Otic [Link]

I Don’t Love Anyone — Belle and Sebastian [Link]

Aromantic — Lee Porteous [Link]

Backseat Rider — Sara Kays [Link]

Always Get This Way — The Aces [Link]

Come Along — Cosmo Sheldrake [Link]

Aromantic Anthem (Pure Love) — MaJiKer [Link]

La Vie — Ichon [Link]

Will I Ever Find a Love — Tower of Power [Link]

Call Me The Breeze — Lynyrd Skynyrd [Link]

The Future — Mystery Skulls [Link]

You Can't Change Me — Mystery Skulls [Link]

Sports — Beach Bunny [Link]

Nobody to Love — Sarah Hester Ross [Link]

Fake Out — Fall Out Boy [Link]

{ ALL ↺ } { ⬅ Previous | First ⬆ | Next ➡ }

[sheenashifts1217]

Hii,I hope you're doing great and taking care of yourself!

I came across your reading post and i was wondering if you still accept requests, if not it's fine but if you do I'd like to request a reading with a message of my s/o. His name is Jean (he/him) he's a famous guitarist and my name is Hanna.

Hope you can do it,but if not there's no problem,please take care of yourself and thanks you!🫶🏻🫶🏻

Hello, my love. Thank you for your kind words and being so sweet. You are actually my last free reading that I am doing. From now on, I will be doing paid readings only. :)

What Jean has to say to Hannah

Lyrics standing out:

“Things are getting heavy

Wrapped in leather ready to go

Don’t stop the music

Anything we want

Anytime we want

Not gonna live any other way

His friends are so hot

A hundred little Betty’s all staring at me

I was cruisin for some lovin

I’m ready to go

We ride fast like a bullet

Ride all day

1, 2, 1, 2, 3

I got a gang full of bruisers

Don’t stop the music”

He’s a partied and he’s ready to bring you along. He knows that he gets a lot of female attention, but he want you to know that you’re the only one he sees. You all live a fast life, but hell never forget to love you and be the one you need. You’re his family, his rock, he does all of this for you. There’s nothing you could do that could make him not want you. And he’ll always have eyes for you. He wants you to remember all the fun you’ve had together and know that it’s not over.

Lyrics standing out:

“I have a dream about her

Rings my bell

She rocks

Doesn’t give a damn

I’m just a teenage dirtbag baby

Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me

(He likes to go to concerts with you/likes when you’re at his concerts)

Her boyfriend’s a dick (I feel like he was talking about himself and kind of joking)

Know what she’s missing

Man I feel like mold

She’s walking over to me

Must be fake

How does she know

Why does she give a damn

Come with me Friday, don’t say maybe

Like you”

In his past, he felt like no one took him seriously, but you. You were the one who believed in him. Im picking up that maybe you’re parents or some authority figure don’t approve of him for you, but he doesn’t care. He’s your man and nothing anybody says will change that. Sometimes he may even play into the “teenage dirtbag” or “dick boyfriend” persona just to show that he doesn’t care what they say, but he’s never a dick to you. I heard “you’re my princess”. He wants to bring you on stage with him because he’s working on a song just for you. Do you sing? If you do, he wants to sing with you. “You’re the coolest chic I’ve ever know”. He possibly wants you guys to paint your finger nails together. I know that was random, but I’m seeing black fingernail polish.

Lyrics standing out:

“Shut up and put your arms around me

Put on my favorite song

Get it on

Why talk

Forget about it

Skip the fight

Be careful what you say to me

I know you didn’t mean to

What if you made a move on me (GIRL, he wants to shut you up by kissing you OMG)

Hold my hand

Green light baby go

Tonight you won’t be cold

Nobody’s wrong”

Not to get too deep into it because it isn’t that kind of reading, but he wants you to be more frisky. He really likes it when you make the moves. If there’s a height difference between you guys, he adores it. He adores all of you and really wants you to know that you are beautiful. He hates when you guys fight. I’m feeling like you guys can both be a little jealous and possessive with each other. He says he likes your protective side. He said, “gets me going”.

He’s basically telling you that you’ve got him in the palm of your hand. Do what you want with him, he’s yours. He loves to hear you yap and see that expression on your face when you get excited over something. He wants to hear all about your dreams and he’ll always support you.

I’m also hearing, “step out of your comfort zone, try something new”. He wants you to be more confident and believe in yourself. He’s always there to lift you up and he loves doing that. But he can only reassure you so much. You have to know your worth and understand you are loved.

Sending you so much love, beautiful. I hope this resonates and helps. Please reach out with feedback and let me know what you think 🤗💗🫶

[mlobsters]

supernatural s9e21 king of the damned (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)

LOL cas you can let go now

dear lord i'm tired after just the recap. angels, metatron/gadreel, abaddon, crowley and his addiction, hellhounds, etc etc

angel handcuffed, slow clompy walk, "is that him??" cas appears. i giggled, not gonna lie

CASTIEL That brings me to why you're here. We have a prisoner. It's an angel from Metatron's inner circle. I need to know what they're planning, but so far, he's revealed nothing. DEAN So, you're done with the rough stuff, and you want us to be your goons? CASTIEL Well, you've had success at these situations before. If you don't want to do it, I understand. DEAN Who says I don't want to do it?

blegh. you know how i feel about the torture stuff, especially in relation to dean. and cas calling them in specifically just to torture information out of this angel. for a just cause though, of course, that makes it okay :|

truly enjoying sam's hair this season combined with very proportionately sized sideburns and now that we're finally less orange looking consistently. lookin good mister padalecki. dean looks like a slight wreck and like he's dissociating

wow show and boys, solving a problem without torture???? i am impressed! (seriously thank you eugenie and brad)

so much smiling and getting to put on this manipulative little show for the dude, fun to watch

cute cute (ignoring this whole abaddon bringing his son from the 1700s thing to force his hand is.... whatever this is)

GAVIN You sold your soul?! Sold it?! For an extra three inches of willy?!

did we know this? i feel like maybe but i can't remeber lol

so i wonder how much was shaved, he has enough hair i think he could have an undercut there and still have more than enough. wonder if that's part of why i like it so much more. i know i've seen him with it up in a bun a couple times so i could go see when that was but that's waaaay too much effort

oh, dean and his slice and dice mark of cain flashback. again, fic gave me the impression the mark was going to be central to goings on but there's just so many subplots nothing really is central

maybe they should just keep a couple pairs of nitrile gloves on hand so, for example, they don't have to raw dog rifling through a corpse. a very slimy corpse

okay so crowley used sam and dean's go word and dean isn't telling sam because? (because he's not making good decisions either) and being all shifty

CASTIEL Just as poor judgement undid you all those centuries ago, your mistaken trust in Metatron will bring you down again.

rich coming from you, cas 😂

okay weird fake solid blue birds. twitter product placement?? LOL

CROWLEY Hello, Dean. Love the crazy bloodlust in your eyes.

must be really smitten now. bye abaddon, you were moderately fun and very beautiful to look at

CROWLEY You owe me. Do I get no credit for warning you this was a trap? [SAM looks perplexed.] CROWLEY "Poughkeepsie" ring a bell? I sense drama.

his gleeful little laugh was cute

DEAN Well, I don't know what to tell you. Them's the rules. He goes back. SAM The lore all says the same thing -- you change any one thing in the past, the ripple effect impacts everything that follows. CROWLEY Please. No one bends the rules like you two bend the rules.

made me laugh, points being made!

CROWLEY I'll cheer the day when the last trace of humanity leaves me. Feelings.

relatable

DEAN First time I touched that Blade...I knew. I knew that I wouldn't be stopped. I knew I would take down Abaddon and anything else if I had to. And it wasn't a hero thing. You know, it wasn't... It was just calm. I knew. And I had to go it alone, Sammy. SAM Oh. Of course. So it was just another time where you had to protect me. DEAN You could've gotten nabbed by Abaddon, and she could've bargained her way out. We couldn't afford to screw this up.

okay but dean how about you have that conversation beforehand instead. asking for permission/begging for forgiveness

also can't remember sam turning in his seat like that before in one of these feelings-laden chats, really means business. so... effusive in his concern and everything lately

sam's soaking up all the empathy leaking out of dean

SAM Look...I'm glad it worked out, okay? I am. And I'm glad the Blade gives you strength or calm or whatever, but, Dean, I got to say... I'm starting to think the Blade is doing something else, too. DEAN Yeah? Like what? SAM I don't know. Like, something to you. Look... I'm thinking until we know for sure that we're gonna kill off Crowley, why don't we store the Blade somewhere distant? Lock it up somewhere safe? Okay? DEAN No.

well i'm glad we get to hear about the effects of the mark/blade combo finally. it's really been the backburner plotline. again i know what it leads to, but not how we get there

this episode made the angel politics about as tolerable/interesting as i think they can get, so woo for that (missing the days of cas popping in and getting irritated because he's in the middle of an offscreen war)

[twittercomfrnklin2001-blog]

Queen Bee

With lines like “Ty always comes in the back way” and the exchange “It’s been so long.” “It’s about to get longer,” Ranald MacDougall’s QUEEN BEE (1955, TCM) is a drag extravaganza waiting to happen. Elegantly gowned by Jean Louis, Joan Crawford rules the roost as a Northern upstart who’s married into Atlanta society. She’s all sugar and magnolia until she’s crossed, and then she stings. Sister-in-law Betsy Palmer, years before she struck back as Pam Voorhees, says Crawford’s Eva does it “ever so gently,” but there’s nothing gentle about her performance. She strides and bellows from behind that elegant movie star mask in which nothing between the overdone lips and overly thick eyebrows ever moves. And yet she gets her points across. In one scene, she trashes Palmer’s bedroom with a riding crop while going on about how she’s been mistreated by husband Barry Sullivan’s friends and family (after she faked a pregnancy to lure him away from fiancée Fay Wray) and then surveys the damage and says, “I did get carried away, didn’t I?” The whole thing is utterly preposterous. Beyond the fact they walk and talk, the character never engage in recognizable human behavior. But I dare you to look away. Charles Lang shoots it all as if it were film noir, and George Duning scores it as lushly as if it were one of those Ross Hunter soap operas, which is good, because MacDougall’s direction is rudimentary at best (he was a writer making his directing debut, and he was never much of a visual stylist). Wray is funny as the belle gone dotty after losing Sullivan to Crawford, though both women look a mite too old for the men they’re paired with. Sullivan and Palmer do some decent work, though their Southern drawls keep slipping. Lucy Marlowe, as the nice cousin from Chicago through whose eyes we see the plot, is bad in such a boring way you can’t even laugh at her. You just wish she’d go away. And John Ireland snarls his way through his performance as Crawford’s ex-. It’s almost as if he knew the film and his affair with Crawford while making it were going to end his marriage.

[shop-korea]

Hallmark+ - Premium

$9.04 - Miami Florida

I messaged - Couldn't

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The - CLICK - worked

I said - Got It while - I

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Worked - Because - I

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Received - $7.99

Getting - Pizza - $3.99

Door Beer - $0.99

Whole Foods - Market

Monday - Food - 5P

Chicken - Ground Beef

Parking Lot - 33

SW 2 Av - SW 1 St

Lunch Time - Eating

Hot Foods - Salads

10:30A - Not Pizza - yet

Uncured - Pepperoni

Alfredo Chicken Broccoli

I didn't like - 365

Light Organic Mayo

Was - Sour - 2 - Me

Trying Organic Mayo

Skinny Girl - Not yes

Included - Maybe some

Ingredient questionable

Who Knows but Ben and

Jerry Ice Cream made cut

Main Library

Sitting on my Calvin Klein

What I use - when Raining

Softer - Pain Relief Cream

$1.25 - Dollar Tree

Little Havana

Buying it Making 5 Floors

Escalators - Buffet - $1

Finally - with - Tax = $1

Kids - Free - Buffet

Seniors - 65 and older

Free - Register

2nd - Finger

Escalators - Elevators

World's Best

Asia - Europe - China

Items with Tax - $1.00

Can't wait - 24/7 open

Holidays

Buying - Taco Bell

Making Korean Taco Bell

5 Floors - Escalators

Grill 2 Make - your Foods

2nd Floor - 24/7 - Open

All Holidays - Open

Buying - Planet Fitness

SW 8 St - SW 8 Av

Criminal - Charges

Land Bldg - $1.00

Family - Sports Exercise

5 Floors - 24/7

Fake Trees Rollerblading

As - Kids - Moonbeam

Jumping - US Airforce

Go inside - Flying up &

Down - Diving and Swim

Laps - Family - All Ages

Kids - Seniors - Free

Buffet - Free - 24/7

30 min - Rest

3 Buildings 24/7 Holidays

This will change - Little

Havana - Double Decker

Buses - Free - Coming ...

Doral West - Bad News

Like Philippines stabbing

Women in Hotels - there 2

Shop - Hugest Mall

President never shut down

That Mall - 24 Hour Fitness

Attacked Me said 16 Older

Yet Babies - British Swim

School - Babies not Age 16

They attacked me because

Near Ross - Five Below and

Michaels Men and Hispanic

Women Toilet Cleaners

Hispanic Women Workers

Attack - Women Shoppers

Attack - Women - Athletes

Dolphin Mall - IKEA

Doral West - Hispanic Men

And Women - will - Attack

Women - Asian - Shoppers

Can Change Little Havana

[ftsvip0]

Two leather pants satin shiny leggings🔗 http://bit.ly/3FYhA2q

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[snjonm-blog]

Fake bell ross

Paris-based   Fake bell ross   has always been a fashionable brand, and products like the BR 03-92 White Camo (reference BR0392-CG-CE/SCA) help prove it. Even though Bell & Ross products are all deeply inspired by tools and the people who use them, the brand is rarely shy to release timepieces which are patently artistic or merely fashionable when the situation merits it.

The BR 03-92 Camo is a new limited edition take on the core BR 03-92 Instrument watch that is the smaller, 42mm wide version of the larger BR 01-03 (46mm wide). For this particular product Fake bell ross begins with a matte black ceramic case, and then renders the cockpit clock-style dial in white and gray urban-style camouflage. The watch comes with two straps. One being a black rubber strap, and other other being a leather strap with the same white camo pattern printed on it. Fake Watches UK

2015 was a year when Bell & Ross firm took their design a step further with the unique design of their Fake Watches UK BR 01 Skull Bronze which is to be a part of the Only Watch auction. From the sword-shaped hands to the bronze skull and crossbones, this watch looks like the kind of pirate watch that Captain Jack Sparrow would wear, with its historical design that fits beautifully in a retro-futuristic Steampunk style.Fake Watches UK

Although the unique timepiece celebrates the legend of a two-hundred-year-old iconic pirate, Bartholomew Hawkins, whose pirate ship known as "Black Wind" sank off the coast of Monaco in 1815. Captain Bart Hawkins owned a watch that he had custom made with the notorious pirate's logo, the Skull & Crossbones and wore this watch during every confrontation. Rumor has it that the face of the watch he wore held a piece of bronze that he took from a cannon that once belonged to one of his adversaries.

[michelle-is-writing]

Wedding, Joey Tribbiani

Word count: 1.5k~

For the past two weeks, Joey has been stressing over finding an acting role and he hasn't been able to get very much sleep. I thought that maybe our bed would be comfortable enough or possibly his barcalounger... no. Monica and Rachel's couch was more comfortable than all of those. And what makes their couch even more comfortable for Joey? My body as his pillow.

As I lay underneath him with his arms wrapped around me, I hear the apartment door open and the voices of Monica and Rachel. Quickly waving my hand above the couch, I hear their voices go quiet, being replaced by the sounds of their frantic feet. Leaning over the couch, their faces greet my smiling one before I cover Joey's ears with my hands. "He hasn't slept for the past two days," I inform them. "Try not to wake him." They both nod, slowly backing away as I take my hands away from Joey's ears, his head nudging back into my hands once they move away. Great.

Sighing, I place my hands back on his head, lightly running my palms over the soft fibers of his hair. Moving my head downward, I place a kiss against his forehead, making him nuzzle his head even farther in to my neck. Even better!

I hear the apartment door open, the sound of Monica and Rachel shushing whoever just came in following. The next thing I know is Chandler's face peering over the couch, a smirk coming to his face as he begins to nod. "Hey, (Y/n), when he wakes up, can it be my turn next?" I squint my eyes with a smile, waving my fist as Ross' signature flipping off gesture. Getting the message, Chandler moves away from the couch and instead sits down on the arm seat, resting his head back on it. Almost instantly, Chandler becomes bored due to the tv not being on or having his buddy beside him, so he settles for humming the tune of 'Wedding Bells'. As to why he's humming that certain tune, I have no idea.

After a few seconds of Chandler's humming, Joey starts groaning a little in his sleep as if he were waking up. Moving my hand away from Joey's head, I go to wave at Chandler so he could stop humming, but Joey says something, making me stop.

"Mmm, (Y/n)..." He murmurs, moving his head against my neck. "What is he dreaming about...?" Chandler questions, quickly being shushed by Monica and Rachel as they rush over to look at the sleep talking Joey.

Smiling, I talk back to him. "Yes, Joey?" I ask in a sweet voice.

"I've always dreamt of this day..." he slurs, turning his head so he could lay his cheek on my chest.

I lightly snicker, Monica and Rachel smiling above me. "What are you talking about, love?" I ask him, scratching his head lightly.

"We're getting married, silly..." he slurs. All movement and sound in the room immediately stops as all of our eyes go wide. "I've always wanted this..." he adds before turning his head and nuzzling back into my neck.

We all stay quiet with me just laying there underneath Joey, my eyes wide open and I begin thinking. Does Joey wants to marry me? I honestly would have never guessed that the thought of marriage ever crossed Joey's mind... I never thought Joey was one to want to settle down. I mean, I've thought about it time to time, but let's be honest; What woman doesn't? And now that I think of it... what man doesn't either?

After a few hours with the TV being on silent and Joey being asleep on my body, he finally wakes up only to smile and kiss me. "Good morning, lovely," he says, hugging me tighter to him. I smile at him, running my hands through his hair. Just as I begin to do this, Monica yells "Dinner's ready!"

Even through eating dinner with my friends, I don't speak. I just... I just don't know what to say. It's almost as if all the words from my mouth have been taken, and for some reason, I don't know why.

"(Y/n), everything okay?" Rachel asks me. "You're quiet tonight."

I give her a fake smile, nodding while placing my napkin on my plate before standing. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just not feeling well," I tell her, with another fake smile and nod. "I'll be out on the balcony," I tell them, turning around and heading to the balcony.

Once I'm standing on it, I breathe in fresh air and lean on the railing, looking down at everything below this apartment. I breathe in another breath of fresh air, only to feel arms wrap around my waist. I jump slightly, surprised.

"Hey, hey, it's just me," I hear Joey say in my ear. I didn't even hear him open the door/window to come out here. I quickly calm down at Joey's words, but I still have bit of adrenaline running through me. "What's got you on edge, hon?" Joey asks.

I shake my head, putting on another smile. "I'm fine, Joey, really," I tell him, but he doesn't buy it. Instead he stares at me, knowing I'll give in, and guess what? I do.

"Its honestly nothing, but..." I begin, turning around in Joey's arms. I avert my eyes away from his before sighing. "In your sleep, you were talking, and you were talking about us getting..." I look up to him to see him looking at me questioningly. With another sigh, I complete my sentence. "About us getting married."

Staring at me for a few moments, Joey furrows his eyebrows. "Are you sure it was me talking?" He questions, causing me to giggle.

"Yes, you dork," I answer him, watching a smile appear across his lips. "It was you talking in your sleep," I smile, remembering what all he said. "You were saying that you had always wanted to marry me," with a dark blush rising to my cheeks, I slightly giggle again. "It was sweet and romantic... despite you being asleep of course."

A few seconds of happy silence pass before I see Joey get down on one knee and take my left hand both of his. Shocked, my smile drops as everything comes to a halt. With my breath caught in my throat, I watch as Joey releases a nervous breath of his own before speaking.

"(Y/n)," he begins, my name coming off of his lips sweetly and softly. "I love you more than anything - even more than my acting," my eyes widen more. "And Even though I accidentally confessed everything in my sleep, I still planned on doing this tonight, but you know... without you knowing and it being a complete surprise," we both laugh with each other before he continues.

"But I can't do this anymore. I can't just be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' with you. We have to be something... more. You deserve something more. And if you'll let me, I'll happily give you that something more. So, (Y/n), will you become Mrs. Joey Tribbiani?"

Grinning, I feel tears begin to seep out of the corners of my eyes. "Joey, I-I will happily become Mrs. Tribbiani," I answer him, tugging his hand so he can stand with me. Once he's on his feet, I pull him close and hold him to me while tears flow from my eyes and onto his coat. Keeping an arm around me, Joey pulls back a bit before taking a small, black velvet box from his pocket and opening it, revealing a beautiful marquise diamond ring that sparkles in the bright moonlight.

Taking his arm from my waist, Joey takes the ring from the box and slides it onto my left ring finger, smiling at the sight. “I’m sorry it’s so small,” He apologizes, making me look at him confused. “I wanted to get you something bigger, but-”

Before Joey can finish his sentence, I pull him in for a kiss, effectively cutting him off. As soon as our lips meet, the sound of applause fills the scene around us, causing us both to look over and see all of the gang at the window, grinning and clapping their hands together. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel all stand together with their arms around each other while Ross and Chandler are mimicking the girls movements.

Laying my head on Joey's chest, I feel myself begin to laugh along with Joey at our friends. "We have great friends." I point out, my hand with a new step of life adorning it finding it's way around the collar of Joey's jacket. Joey laughs at my comment, nodding before speaking.

"They're always there to share the happy moments with us." He notes, his voice full of happiness.

Looking back up at each other, we attach our lips together once again, this kiss being a promise to keep each other close along with our friends. No poem or love song could ever describe how I feel right now, and I'm pretty sure that in Joey's perspective, no script containing a romantic scene could describe this moment either.

It's just simply too perfect.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e5 shut up, dr phil (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

maybe you'd have less nightmares if you weren't sleeping on top of the covers in your jeans, dean. when i watch this show again i'm surely going to keep count of how many times he sleeps like this because it seems like the rule instead of the exception these days. sam too. and sleeping like that on bobby's couch. good for no one

tickles me to no end to find little computer goofs, especially because they're generally good with them! consistent and not obviously fake (teen wolf has some laughably bad ones where like instead of a url it would be a file path on the hard drive) because i am always looking 👀 this one didn't end up in that weird fake browser window like normal, up at the very top you can see Windows Picture and Fax Viewer LOL no wonder we're zoomed in and can't see our good old untitled 1 and 2. also searching for "FREAKY ACCIDENTS" very dean, thanks. very 9am drinking away the guilt dean

screenshots, that's it! "Pass Word" lol what.

DEAN No, it's not good for you. Look at you. You're, you're a mess, and you stink.

still grumpy mcgrumperson i see.

SAM You know, one more thing. What's going on with you? DEAN We have had this conversation, Sam. SAM No, we haven't. See, to do that, you'd have to, uh, sort of...speak.

DEAN Okay, let's see if you can get this straight. See you're – you're new Sam, right, Lance Armstrong. SAM Biking. DEAN And, uh – and I'm still me, okay? All right, so – so, you might see things different now, uh – call it a runner's high or some crap – but that doesn't mean that something's going on with me, okay? SAM Yeah, okay. DEAN No, don't say, "yeah, okay," like, "yeah, okay."

SAM Yeah, okay.

classic. dean trying to be the boss. sam bringing the little brother energy.

an attempt was made

oh we're back to the very special episode about addressing dean's alcoholism

ahh this dude was spike on buffy. the lady playing his wife was on it too but is not ringing a bell at all. i tried to watch it after a few years ago but never got very far. i did, however, enjoy the original movie with luke perry. in the theater. in 1992

DEAN So, the mister's a witch, himself. That means we got not just one pissed-off witch. We've got two. It's full-on "War of the Roses." SAM "Bewitched" just got a lot less funny. DEAN It's like when they switched Darrins.

DEAN Look – obviously, you two are capable of wiping each other out, right? But you haven't, huh? Which means that you two – you still value whatever it is you got. A-and you want keep that dance going. Maybe it's – maybe it's punishment. Maybe it's – it's sick, messed-up, erotic, kinky, clamps and feathers kind of love. SAM Okay, okay, t-that's – that's going way too deep, there, cowboy.

the case relationship mirroring issues in their own relationship as ever. murderous rampage over an affair solved by talking it out.

that dean is so messed up over this killing jewel staite and lying to sam about it thing feels so fucking overblown and manufactured. i am so, so over it. surely there's a better source of things for dean to angst over. though i don't really ever like when the main source of conflict is them hiding shit from each other

DEAN Sam, I am so very, very, very, very...very, very tired -- SAM Dean, like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about doesn't just go away. It builds up, like whatever's eating at you right now. DEAN There's always something eating at me. That's who I am. Something happens, I feel responsible, all right? The Lindbergh baby – that's on me. Unemployment – my bad. SAM That's not what I'm talking about. DEAN Well, then what the hell are you talking about? SAM I'm talking about whatever you're not telling me about. Look, Dean, it's fine. You can unload. That's kind of what I'm here for. SAM I mean... we're good, right? DEAN We're good.

also what a weird way to deal with the dumbass leviathan attack situation. i am already exhausted with that plotline

brief music sidenote the classical piece playing during couples counseling was chopin nocturnes op 9: no2 in E flat major andante and i swear it must be on just about every ballet class music album because i know it so well but i couldn't tell you what it was for the life of me

[serenasoutherlyns]

i hit 100 followers today!!

actually 102 but who's counting ;)

in order to celebrate, i want to give you guys some presents?

i'm going to write as many 100 word drabbles or 500 word ficlets as prompts i get in the next week! please send the length, character/ship, prompt list/number/quote (or original request), and (optional) "genre" that you want to see to my ask box and i'll run (not walk) to google docs for you.

characters:

claire kincaid, alex cabot, casey novak, olivia benson, jack mccoy, serena southerlyn, abbie carmichael, alexandra borgia, jamie ross, connie rubirosa, elizabeth olivet, monique jeffries, john munch, mike logan, elizabeth rogers, rey curtis, danielle melnick, sally bell, margot bell, anita van buren, tracey kibre, kelly gaffney kay howard , tim bayliss, frank pembleton, megan russert, (others? just ask - or, ask for any or my ocs, or let me pick!)

ships:

casey/alex, abbie/serena, serena/casey, jack/claire, jack/sally, abbie/alex, tracey/kelly, abbie/toni, jerena (yes, really, you know who you are <3), (others? just ask - or ask for any or my ocs, or let me pick!)

prompts:

halloween/horror prompts

tvtropes fanfic tropes

fake dating prompts

romance story starters

not-really-romantic story starters

or one of your own!

songs - pick a song or lyric:

walkman - bad bad hats

just let me love you - lowen

wildest dreams - taylor swift

talking to myself - gatlin

pocketful of sunshine - natasha bedingfield

i wanna __ you til i'm dead - YACHT

everybody wants to love you - japanese breakfast

i'm beginning to see the light - duke ellington/ella fitzgerald

genres:

fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, romance, "slow" burn (500 words, so), friends-to-lovers, enemies-to-lovers, fix-it. i won't write explicit nsfw but maybe some spicy- think T/M not E.

i'm tagging some mutuals in the hopes that people see this :) no pressure!

@commasplice27 @lesbianologist @wine-drunk-on-elizabeth @justalittleghostwriter @dankspeare @sweetprentiss @storiesofsvu @alexcabot @livscabot @rosiewritesagain @holycrapraewth @multi-obsessions @onherwayrejoicing @morbidlonging629 @oliviaomlandthethird @15coldhotpockets @teenageraccoon @sit-drink-smile @yipyipjemily @ms-calhoun @theofficialjerenablog @eastberlin @crazybagelbitch @arrowgirll13 @rollinsnovak @voltives @enduringalexblake @illicitaylors @disaster-and-disgrace @hoe4almondmilk @alexcabotgf @hi-i-1 @littlelemonkey @season4scullyhair @addictedtodinosaurs @whiteberryx @laezzzi @swimmingstudentchaos891 @bilingualfiction @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @dxringred

[sunriserose1023]

Questions and Answers

WARNINGS: Language, medical situation, confrontation WORD COUNT: 4703

MASTERLIST

You fiddled with the strap on your purse, chewing on the inside of your bottom lip as you studied the garage before you. Mark II Mechanics was located in a huge warehouse in Flushing, Queens. You glanced at your phone again, re-reading the address for what felt like the thousandth time. You shook your head, dropping your phone into your purse and walking to the door. You gingerly pulled it open, not wanting your newfound strength to destroy anything else. 

A bell above the door jingled, heralding your arrival, and you heard a voice come from the back of the room. 

“Be right with you!”

You let out the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, tapping your fingers in a nonsense beat against your purse strap. You looked around the room, snapping your attention back to the desk when a woman with dark brown hair came into the room. 

“Hi, sorry to keep you waiting. What can we do for you?”

You swallowed, blinking a few times before you found your voice. 

“I, uh … I’m looking for Eddie Collins?” “Do you have an appointment?” “No. Do I need one?”

She gave you a smile, moving to the computer at her right. Your eyebrows furrowed, something about her smile sparking something in your mind. As she typed on the keyboard, you took a step towards the desk. 

“I’m sorry, but you seem so familiar to me. What’s your name?”

She looked over, dark eyes studying you for just a moment. 

“Jenny. Jenny Collins.”

You gave a slight shake of your head, a soft smile coming to your lips. 

“I’m sorry. God, I must sound like a stalker.”

Jenny smiled. 

“It’s quite alright. I think I have one of those faces that just seems familiar, you know?” “Maybe that’s it. I’m sorry to bother you.” “You’re not. I promise. Eddie’s free in about ten minutes, if you’d like to wait?”

You nodded, and Jenny gave you another of those smiles. 

“I’ll just let him know you’re here.” “Thank you.”

You blew out a breath, moving a hand to your stomach, nervousness making it ache. You swallowed and tapped anxious fingers on the desk, looking up as a man with dark hair that was silvering at the temples walked into the room. He had a smile on his clean-shaven face, crinkles by his eyes easing your mind a bit. 

“My wife tells me I’m needed, which is not something I hear often. She’s so independent.”

You couldn’t help the smile as he held his hand out. 

“Eddie Collins. What can I do for you?”

You shook his hand. 

“I’m hoping you can help me.” “Okay. With what?”

You gave a nervous laugh. 

“Well, I … I’m not exactly sure.”

One dark eyebrow raised and you sighed. 

“I promise I’m not crazy. But … that’s usually what crazy people say, isn’t it?”

You shook your head, lowering it and rubbing a hand over your forehead. Eddie’s voice was gentle when he spoke again. 

“Have I fucked up a car of yours?”

You lifted your head, eyebrows furrowing. 

“No.” “Computer?” “No.” “Some other sort of electronic?”

You shook your head, and he pursed his lips. 

“Then why don’t you start from the beginning and we’ll see what we can do.”

You nodded, taking in a breath, letting it out slowly. You licked your lips, fiddling with the strap of your purse again as you spoke. 

“I, um … I had an accident and sort of … god, this is such a Hollywood, Lifetime movie kind of thing, but I lost my memory. I’m hoping you may can help me fill in some of the gaps.”

You watched Eddie slowly swallow, a shaky smile on his lips. 

“What did you say your name was?” “Y/N Ross.”

You saw the color leak from his face, one hand moving to cover his mouth. He glanced behind him, Jenny standing there looking equally pale. You felt your heart thud in your chest, Jenny nodding before she turned and walked away. Eddie kept his back to you for a moment, then turned to face you, a fake smile on his lips. 

“Miss Ross, was it? I do have quite a colorful past, but I’m afraid I won’t be of any help to you.”

You blinked, giving a shake of your head. 

“But … you—“

Eddie shook his head. 

“Sorry. I do have to get back to work, so … it was lovely meeting you. Goodbye.”

He turned to go down the hallway towards where Jenny had been standing and you rushed to the desk. 

“Wait!”

He stopped, keeping his back to you. You started to put your hands on the front counter, but flashes of the deep grooves in Matt’s floor popped into your mind. You let your arms hang by your side instead, fingers going back to fiddling with the strap on your purse, the words softly leaving your lips. 

“Peter Parker sent me here.”

Eddie whirled around, eyes wide. He rushed back to you, dark eyes studying your face. 

“What did you just say?”

His voice was pitched low, just like yours had been. You didn’t really know why you were whispering. You’d been speaking at a normal volume the entire conversation. For some reason, you felt like you needed to protect Peter, so you whispered the words. 

“Peter Parker, he told me to come here and talk to you. He said you—you’d be able to help me.” “I don’t know what he—“ “Please. You’re my last chance.”

Eddie kept his eyes on yours, chest almost heaving. He swallowed, jaw clenching. After a long moment, he tore his eyes away, scanning the desk before him. He grabbed a pen and a sticky note, scribbling as he spoke. 

“I’ve told that kid time and time again to stop giving out my address. One day I’m going to get a crazy stalker, and then I’ll have to wait years until he’s old enough for me to kick his ass.”

Eddie gave a laugh, pushing the note across the desk to you. You walked over and looked down at the paper, at Eddie’s all capital lettered messy scrawl. 

EYES AND EARS EVERYWHERE. BROAD CHANNEL STATION, 10PM.

You read the note again, lifting your eyes to take in the grave look on Eddie’s face. You slowly nodded, taking the note from the counter and slipping it into your purse. You gave a quiet laugh, shaking your head. 

“So you’re no relation to the baseball player?” “Sorry, kid. Many a soul has come in here expecting that, but … hate to disappoint.”

You nodded, giving him a smile. 

“Thanks anyway.” “No problem. Be safe out there.”

You nodded, turning from him and walking out of the building. You managed to stay somewhat calm until you saw a park, walking faster, then breaking into a run. You found yourself not even the slightest bit winded, the purse on your shoulder a forgotten weight as you let yourself run through the park. You ran until you saw a park bench, sitting onto it and putting your head in your hands. 

You weren’t tired. You weren’t short of breath. You were breathing fine, leg muscles singing, but not tired. You closed your eyes and put your head in your hands. After a few moments of just slow, deep breathing, you pulled out your phone and dialed Matt’s number. 

“Hey, how’d your meeting go?” “Matt.” “What is it? What’s wrong?” “I’m scared.” “Scared of what? Where are you?”

You shook your head, forcing your eyes open. 

“I’m in a park somewhere near Flushing, Queens. I think. Matt, I just ran through this park and I’m not even tired.” “Are you okay?”

You sniffled, pushing a wrist under your nose. 

“I’m not in any immediate danger.” “Give me some time and I’ll find you.” “No, you don’t have to …”

You blew out a breath. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you. I’m all up in my head.” “You can call me anytime. I meant it when I told you that.”

You nodded, looking around the park. 

“Y/N, what are you scared of?” “That meeting I had today? It wasn’t about my dad. It was about me.” “You?” “My accident. You know, I told you things weren’t adding up last night?” “Yeah, I remember. What did you find out?”

You slowly shook your head. 

“The guy went pale as soon as I said my name. I’m meeting him again later tonight.” “Where?” “Matt, it’s fine.” “If you think I’m letting you around any part of New York alone after dark, you’re out of your damn mind. Where are you meeting him?”

You sighed, closing your eyes and running a hand down your face. 

“Broad Channel station, ten o’clock.” “I’ll be there.” “Matt—“ “I won’t say or do anything. I just don’t want you to be alone. Not only for your safety, but … moral support.”

You couldn’t help but smile. 

“Thank you.” “Of course. I’ll see you soon.”

You ended the call, putting your phone back in your purse and standing up. You decided to make your way around the city, not remembering much of Queens, if you’d ever spent much time there. Not to mention, you had plenty of time to kill. 

But you couldn’t make yourself relax. 

You got onto the subway and rode it into Manhattan, walking up the steps of the station and looking around Times Square. You shook your head and hurried back down the steps, running into a subway car just before the doors closed, riding until the end of the line, smiling when you stepped out of the car and towards the Coney Island boardwalk. 

“So you spent the afternoon in Brooklyn?”

You nodded, arm looped through Matt’s as the two of you made your way through the Broad Channel subway station. Since the minute the two of you stepped into Queens, Matt had kept his nose turned up at even the thought of being in another borough, but he was determined to stay by your side. 

“I walked along the Coney Island boardwalk. Ate a hotdog at Nathan’s. Sat in the sand and watched the water for a while. Then I just walked around. You know that opening scene of Saturday Night Fever? I walked it just like Travolta.”

Matt chuckled, shaking his head. 

“You’re worse than a tourist.”

Your deeply offended gasp made him laugh more. 

“Take it back.”

He shook his head, the laughter dying on his lips when you suddenly went still. 

“Y/N. What is it?” “He’s here.”

Matt nodded, gently patting your hand. 

“You’re okay. You can do this.” “There’s a bench a few feet to your left.” “I’ll be right here. If you want me closer, just say the word.”

You couldn’t do anything but nod, squeezing his hand once before helping him settle on the bench, then walking away from him. You stopped near the platform, in front of the man you’d met hours earlier, this time wearing a baseball cap and a leather jacket. Eddie Collins nodded towards Matt. 

“You brought backup. Smart.” “He’s overprotective. Everyone I know these days seems to be.”

Eddie nodded, taking his eyes from Matt and looking at you again. After a moment of silence, you spoke softly. 

“I didn’t think you’d show.”

Eddie smiled. 

“Thought about it. Thought about just taking my wife and getting the hell out of dodge.”

You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Smart.”

Eddie gave you a half-smile, putting his hands in the pockets of his jacket, looking out over the subway tracks. You swallowed, breaking the silence. 

“What did you mean, ‘eyes and ears everywhere?’” “I’m pretty sure my shop’s bugged.”

Your eyebrows drew together.

“By who? Are you involved with the mafia or something?”

You missed the smile on Matt’s face, one that matched Eddie’s. 

“No, not the mafia. The, uh … government.” “You a conspiracy theorist?” “Only when the conspiracies are true.”

You slowly nodded, and Eddie sighed. 

“How’d you meet Parker?”

You sighed this time. 

“It’s a long story.” “I got time.”

You nodded. 

“I looked him up.”

Eddie nodded, waiting a beat. When you didn’t say anything else, one of his dark brows rose. 

“Talk about anticlimactic.”

You gave a quiet laugh, shaking your head. 

“The truth is, I met this woman in L.A. She was … really cryptic, telling me that the memories I had lost, I needed to remember, because it affected her, too. Don’t ask me what ‘it’ is, because I’m still not sure. Anyway, she sent me this box of comic books and something about the books sparked something in my brain and … I sought out Peter to get the truth.” “Which was?”

You swallowed. 

“That the comic books are true stories.”

You met Eddie’s eyes and he slowly nodded. You licked your lips, speaking again. 

“Peter told me that my father … forced him to write the comics, back-date some of them, give some vintage covers. The General helped the comics get circulated, and in exchange, he kept Peter under his thumb by threatening the kid’s aunt.”

You shook your head. 

“He’s just a kid, and he doesn’t deserve what my dad’s doing to him. Aside from that, I don’t understand why. Why is the General forcing this kid to make comic books? And if the comics are true stories, how come they’re not being talked about?” “Because your dear old dad’s trying to slowly erase it all.”

You met his eyes again, shaking your head. 

“What?”

Eddie nodded.

“You ever heard of the Mandela Effect?”

You looked away, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Is that where … like we all thought we watched that movie where Sinbad was a genie, but no one can find proof the movie was ever made?” “Yes, exactly!”

You slowly shook your head as you looked back to him. 

“My dad’s trying to do that to the Avengers?” “He is.” “Why?”

Eddie swallowed, glancing down. You sucked in a breath as the truth suddenly hit you. 

“It’s because of me.”

Eddie’s dark eyes rose to meet yours. He nodded, and you closed your eyes, turning back towards Matt. He sat up straighter, and you fought the urge to run to him, to sit beside him and let his strength bleed into you. You gave a shaky breath, looking back to Eddie. 

“The stories are true?” “Yes.” “How do you know?” “Because Pete needed a reference point for his writing.” “So … what? You’re a consultant?” “No. I’m in them.”

You studied his face, somehow knowing he was telling the truth. You shook your head. 

“No, I … I’ve read them. You’re not …”

He gave you a sad smile. 

“It’s also a long story, but I … I was kind of forced into hiding. Changed my appearance a bit. Both my wife and I.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. 

“Jenny?”

Eddie smiled. 

“Not with a ‘J.’” “Oh. Ginny, then? With a ‘G?’”

He nodded. 

“Short for Virginia.”

You went still, looking towards the tracks. 

“Virginia?”

Eddie nodded, and you brought your eyes back to his. You gave a shake of your head and he gave you a soft smile. 

“Collins was my mother’s maiden name. Eddie’s short for Edward, my middle name.” “Who are you really?”

You took a step backwards as he stared into your eyes, as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

“I’m Tony Stark.”

You stared at the man before you, his eyes, his mouth. The way he was standing. He looked at you and smiled softly, and you finally saw the resemblance between him and the character in Peter’s comics. You heard Matt’s sharp inhale behind you, glancing his way before looking back. 

“Tony Stark.” “Yes.” “Which means Jen—no, Ginny is … Pepper Potts. That’s why she looked familiar.” “Yes.”

You met his dark eyes again. 

“You’re Iron Man.” “I am.” “The comics are real.” “They are.”

Tony caught you as you swayed, and he ushered you back to the bench, helping you sit. 

“Tony fuckin’ Stark, huh?”

Tony sighed. 

“Nice to see you too, Murdock.”

You put your head in your hands, unable to think clearly enough to voice anything. Matt’s touch was gentle against your back, and you shook your head. 

“Oh, god.” “Just breathe.”

Tony knelt in front of you, taking the hand you reached out to him. He held your hand in both of his, and you shook your head again, lifting confused, tear-filled eyes to his. 

“How … how?” “It’s a long story.”

Matt gave a hard chuckle. 

“I think she won’t mind if I speak for both of us and say … we’ve got time.”

Tony looked up to Matt, the look on his face stoic and just a tad pissed off. Tony nodded, looking back to you, smiling softly again. 

“So Captain America threw his shield so hard that when I caught it, I received injuries so bad they were easily explained away as being in a car accident.”

Tony nodded. Matt was sitting beside you, one hand covering his mouth. Tony was pacing before you, hands in the pockets of his jacket. You were bent over, elbows on your knees, studying the dirty, scuffed-up ground. Matt spoke softly, one hand moving to rest against your back. 

“But the shield thing came after her getting kidnapped? Because she was in a secret relationship with Captain America?”

Tony nodded again, and you just blinked, trying to let the information sink in. After a moment, you spoke again. 

“So where is he? My alleged boyfriend.”

Matt’s hand gently patted your back. 

“I can answer that one.”

You turned your head, seeing a smile on his face, eyes trained over your head. 

“The Avengers were put on trial—a very public trial—and found guilty. It was a farce, nothing but a media show, nothing but—“ “A stunt for the General.”

You blew out a breath, standing up and walking away from the men, wrapping your arms around your stomach. You turned back to them, meeting Tony’s dark eyes. 

“Where are they? In prison somewhere?”

Tony nodded. 

“I just don’t know where.” “Stark, I don’t mean to be rude, but …”

Tony gave a good-natured snort, and Matt smiled before he continued. 

“Why aren’t you with them?”

You watched the smile slide from Tony’s face, saw his features harden. 

“I’ve always been so public with my life, my company, with Iron Man. Ross gave me the option of being able to disappear. Pepper tried to stay with the company, but …”

He shook his head. 

“We thought about going to an island or something. Get all-new identities and start over. But I couldn’t do that when my friends are in jail for nothing, for a bullshit charge drummed up by the Secretary of State who hates us all anyway. So Pep and I decided to—“ “Hide in plain sight.”

Tony met your eyes and you nodded. 

“No one would think to look just one borough over and find Tony Stark in a warehouse in Queens.”

He smiled, glancing down at his shoes. You felt your face grow slack before you spoke again. 

“Peter Parker. He’s … he's more than just a comic book artist, isn’t he?”

Tony’s face paled. 

“The General doesn’t know. He knew Parker had been on my radar, so he went and sniffed him out. Pete came up with the comic book idea on his own, and your father doesn’t know that Parker’s—“ “Don’t tell me.”

You rushed back to him, hands coming to rest gently on Tony’s chest. 

Well … that was your intention. 

Your eyes widened, feet frozen to the ground when Tony flew backwards, across the room, crashing into the wall. You heard Matt curse under his breath as he scrambled to his feet, rushing to hit his knees beside a plaster dust-covered Tony Stark. 

“What the fuck was that?!”

You stared down at your hands, slowly sinking to the ground and sitting down. You could hear Matt whispering, Tony hissing words back at him, their words not registering with you. You heard Tony groan as he stood up, limping as he walked back to you. You couldn’t look at him, and he groaned again as he moved to sit next to you. 

“How long has that been going on?” “A while.” “Can we cut the vague bullshit?”

You nodded, staring at your hands. 

“I was in a coma for a year.” “I know.”

You nodded again, continuing with your story. 

“When I woke up, I climbed out of bed and walked across the room. The doctors couldn’t believe it. They said my muscles should have atrophied and I shouldn’t have been able to even turn over on my own.”

You shrugged, then went on. 

“I don’t get tired when I run. I had a cut on my foot that healed before I could bandage it up. I put holes in Matt’s floor just by digging my hands in.” “You didn’t put holes in my floor. Deep grooves, yes.”

You flicked your eyes towards him and shook your head. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” “I … I might.”

You met Tony’s eyes, watched him swallow hard. 

“When we … when we brought you to the hospital, you were …”

He blew out a breath. You swallowed, speaking softly. 

“Almost dead?” “You coded three times in the ambulance.”

Your eyes widened, and Tony shook his head. 

“You shouldn’t have survived. In all honesty, anyone with those kinds of injuries never should have made it.”

You shook your head, and Tony sighed. 

“With Blonsky having done what he did …” “Blonsky?”

You met his eyes, narrowing yours. 

“The Abomination?”

Tony nodded, slowly nodding as he realized what you were realizing. 

“You read the comic.”

You nodded. 

“Blonsky tried to turn himself into another Hulk.”

Tony nodded. 

“It kind of backfired on him, but it still worked. He still turned into … the Abomination.”

Your eyes widened as you turned to him, reaching out, then letting your hands fall by your sides. 

“Do you think they did that to me?”

You heard Matt’s sharp intake of breath a second before Tony grabbed your hand. 

“Come on. I’ve still got friends in low places.”

You couldn’t sit still, feet tapping on the ground. Matt was beside you, Tony Stark on your other side. The three of you had snuck into the back corridor of a hospital in Manhattan, you and Matt hanging back as Tony spoke with someone who worked in the morgue, of all places. You were sitting outside the morgue, desperately trying not to think about all the bodies in the room behind you when quick footsteps brought your attention forward. 

She was pretty, even as tired as she looked in her dark blue scrubs. She blinked more than a few times as she studied you, a smile coming to her lips. 

“Miss Ross.”

You looked to Matt, then back to her, and she continued smiling as she stepped forward, holding out a hand. 

“Christine Palmer.”

Something about her struck you as familiar, and you put your hand in hers. She smiled as she held your hand, her other coming to rest on the back of yours. 

“I was in on an experimental surgery when you were in your coma. I was also there to run a few tests when you first woke up.”

You nodded. 

“Well, it’s nice to see you again.” “Likewise.”

You met Tony’s eyes as he rounded the corner, eyebrows raising when he saw you and Christine drop hands. 

“Good, you two know each other.”

You kept your eyes on his and he smiled. 

“Relax. She’s cool.”

Christine gave a shaky laugh. 

“I’m new to all this. Apparently my ex is a magical sorcerer of some sort, and now Iron Man needs my help. Just a regular Tuesday.”

You gave a laugh, and Christine moved to sit beside you, on the side opposite Matt. 

“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to draw some blood and run a few tests.” “And that will show …” “There are some antigens and antibodies that appear in … the Hulk’s blood. We’ll compare and see if you have those in your blood.”

You nodded, blowing out a breath. You followed Christine to a small room off the hall, sitting on a table and swinging your legs as you waited for her to return. 

“Nervous?”

You glanced at Matt, who had a smile on his face. 

“No, I’m fine.” “Your legs haven’t stopped moving since you sat down.”

You exhaled, but smiled. 

“Well, you try learning you might turn into a giant green rage monster and see how calm you remain.” “Blonsky was orange.”

You glanced over your shoulder as Matt closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. Tony looked over at you, shrugging his shoulders.

“Just saying, you might not be green. Hey, maybe you’ll be a new color, like … Not helping, am I?”

You and Matt shook your heads in unison, and Tony winced again as he turned to look out the window he was standing under. Christine came back into the room with a kit, and you closed your eyes as she drew your blood. When it was over, you, Christine, and Tony watched as your arm immediately healed. 

You blew out a breath and Christine gave you a smile before she turned and left the room. When the door clicked shut behind her, Matt stepped closer to you, picking up your hand and giving it a squeeze. You shook your head, moving to rest it against his. 

“I’m scared.” “I know. Just breathe.” “What if I have the stuff in my blood like the Hulk does? How am I going to … what’s going to make me …”

Tony cleared his throat and you pulled away from Matt, glancing back to him. Tony swallowed, licking his lips. 

“That’s something you should ask your sister.”

Your eyes narrowed. 

“My sister? Betty?”

Tony nodded, and you shook your head. 

“Why would I talk to her about this?”

Tony’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked to you. 

“Because she was there when the Hulk became the Hulk.” “What?”

Tony studied your face as you slowly shook your head, a quiet horror creeping up your spine. 

“Betty knows the Hulk?” “Y/N.”

You looked to Matt, then back to Tony, who slowly shook his head, an apologetic look on his face. 

“Your sister … she worked with him. She … she dated him.”

You felt like someone had punched you in the stomach. Still, in the back of your mind … it made sense. The looks on her face when you talked about your “accident” and she thought you weren’t looking. The way she’d acted when you talked about the Hulk comic. How weird she had become when it came to your father. 

“God, I feel sick.”

Matt gently began rubbing your back and Tony cleared his throat. 

“So how long have you two …?”

You looked back at him, shaking your head. One eyebrow rose almost to his hairline and you blew out a breath. You glanced back to see Matt with a small smile on his face and you shook your head again. You and Tony looked to the door as it opened, and Christine stepped inside. 

“So I want to keep your blood for a while and run a few more tests. But at first glance, your blood doesn’t seem to match the Hulk’s.”

You gave a relieved breath, grabbing onto Matt’s hand. He gave your hand a squeeze, speaking to the doctor. 

“What other tests do you need to run?” “Well, I'd like to expose your blood to gamma radiation, just to be certain.” “But as of now …” “As of now, I don’t think you’ll be playing the Jolly Green Giant anytime soon.”

You exhaled a relieved laugh, hanging your head. In doing so, you missed the silent conversation between Tony and Christine, the question that came to Tony’s mind, as well as Matt’s. 

If your blood didn’t match the Hulk’s… 

Christine wouldn’t need to run more tests unless … 

Whose blood did yours match?

TAGS: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​, @captain-rogers-beard​, @bionic-buckyb​, @deaniebeanie666​, @shynara51​, @wolfarrowepz​, @captain-s-rogers​, @m-a-t-91​, @lovemesomepietro​, @the-obsessive-fangirl​, @winchesterenthusiast​, @iamwarrenspeace​, @until-theend-oftheline​, @evansrogerskitten​, @thatgirl-xx-thatgirl​, @thisismysecrethappyplace​, @jjsoccer11​, @beardburnsupersoldiers​, @geek-and-proud​, @moonlessnight14​, @castellandiangelo​, @stressedandbandobessed7771​, @get-loki​, @theladybiers​, @patzammit​, @maddie-laufeyson​, @queenoftrash97​, @xxashy999xx​, @oliviaadamswrites​, @theunofficialduke​, @sergeantliz​, @sea040561​, @nerdy-bookworm-1998​, @potteryourotter​, @animegirlgeeky​, @capsiclesdoll​, @their-bibliophile​, @thefandomplace​, @peaceinourtime82​, @fallenoutofrose​, @geeksareunique​, @heyyouwiththeassbutt​, @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall​, @lili-ann-love​, @sister-of-stars​, @distractedgemini​, @walkingchemicalfire​, @buckybarneshairpullingkink​, @not-another-fangirl​, @thefandomplace​, @jubileestreetv​, @smrofficial04​

[ducktracy]

184. the woods are full of cuckoos (1937)

release date: december 4th, 1937

series: merrie melodies

director: frank tashlin

starring: mel blanc (owlcott, walter finchell, milton squirrel, wendell howl, fox, raven mcquandry), tedd pierce (ben birdie, tizzie fish, andy bovine), sara berner (polly gillette, canary livingstone)

this cartoon gets the honorable award of possibly being the most dated warner bros. shorts in its vast repertoire of cartoons. not to worry! this will be a fun cartoon to unpack—i love delving into the shorts that involve extensive research. learning something new is something that‘s very rewarding to me, and i hope it is to you, too!

a giant ode to the short lived radio program community sing (lasting from 1936-1937), the short chronicles a woodland radio show hosted by a variety of caricatured animals putting on various acts.

iris in to the ringing of a bell. a pudgy, bespectacled owl rings it as he stands illuminated by the moonlight, preaching to all of the woodland critters, ready to start the show. he introduces himself as “owlcott”, a take on commentator alexander woollcott. he “blandly announces” (his words, not mine) the introduction of the master of ceremonies, ben birdie--a bird caricature of radio personality ben bernie, “the old maestro”.

birdie’s caricature is not new to audience’s eyes. the caricature, along with a handful of others, is reused from friz freleng’s the coocoo nut grove from 1936, a short that is very similar in vein to this one. tedd pierce provides birdie’s suave, velvety vocals as he introduces the program, only to be interrupted by the nasally cries of mel blanc. out pops walter finchell, a caricature of bernie’s faux-enemy walter winchell, both of whom carrying a notorious (and fake) feud in the radio-verse. it was common for winchell to interrupt the smooth-talking bernie, either throwing pranks or remarks his way, to which bernie dismissed every time. indeed, a signature tashlin upshot angle reveals finchell dropping an egg on top of birdie, who blocks it nonchalantly with a handy umbrella.

art loomer’s backgrounds for the cartoon are absolutely gorgeous. they’re vibrant in color, very lush and painterly, but remain playful and sophisticated at the same time. they certainly serve as a highlight to the short. and, as always, carl stalling’s scores are a blast to hear--his sardonic, wah-wah rendition of “cause my baby says it’s so” is a jolly juxtaposition to the prior score of “love is on the air tonight”, the latter being the song’s cartoon debut. it would be reused in cartoons such as the daffy doc, whereas “cause my baby says its so” was heard previously in rover’s rival.

birdie introduces a clever squirrel caricature of milton berle, whose routine gets interrupted by a little parrot named polly. polly is a take on eileen barton’s character, little jolly gillette, who was portrayed as the daughter of the show’s sponsor. polly and milton go through their act together, polly bluntly (yet innocently) announcing “my daddy says ya gotta let me sing ‘cause he’s a sponsor!” you can listen to real recordings of their banter here!

volney white’s animation of milton and polly is lively and jovial, constantly moving. milton energetically introduces us to our next star, pointing in the wrong direction and fixing it last second as he gestures towards a bird caricature of country singer wendell hall.

even if viewers don’t recognize the bird’s counterpart, they will most certainly recognize his voice--mel uses his foghorn leghorn voice for wendell “howl”. of course, foghorn wouldn’t debut for another 9 years, but that’s another story. the animation of the raucous bird is fun to watch as he extends his neck and wraps it around in coils around the microphone stand. random? yes, but fun nevertheless.

perhaps even more commendable is the staggering crowd shot that succeeds wendell’s scenes. the crowd is mirrored horizontally, but that doesn’t lessen the blow from how claustrophobic it is. wendell asks the audience to get out their songbooks and turn to page “22... no, page 44. uh, no, uh, page 28. uh, 42, uh, 36, uh, 45...” 

wendell is transformed from an entertainer to an auctioneer, spitting out numbers at rapid pace as his crowd frantically tears through their songbooks. finally, he concedes. “oh, never mind. we won’t use the books.” off screen, the crowd roars in unison: “OH YES WE WILL!” with that, wendell is generously showered with a barrage of books, buried in the pile of rejected papers. the timing of the scene is comedically sharp and energetic, one of the more entertaining acts of the cartoon.

now, for the real song number, lead by goat and bear caricatures of billy jones and ernie hare (would a rabbit caricature be too on the nose?) respectively, animated by volney white. they march out onto the stage--er, tree trunk--and open the curtains to reveal a sing-along to the eponymous song. thus, the camera pans into the lyrics as everybody bursts into the all-too-earworm-causing song number. 

as the crowd, ben birdie and walter finchell all lend their voices to the song, a fox caricature of fred allen sings “swanee river”, clashing with the unity of everybody else. in a nod to friz freleng’s toy town hall where the same routine was executed, a little bunny excitedly coos “ohhhh, mr. allen! you’re singing the wrong sooooong!” the fox bursts into everybody’s favorite Mel Blanc Yell as he repeats a frequent ‘30s catchphrase: “WHY DON’T SOMEBODY TELL ME THESE THINGS!?”

featured in the song is a seemingly interminable cast of celebrity caricatures, all introduced as the camera pans across the screen, each lending their voice to part of the song. some puns require more effort than others (dick powell as “dick fowl” rolls off the tongue better than al jolson as “al goatson”). caricatures include: 

eddie cantor as eddie gander, sophie tucker as sophie turkey, w.c. fields as w.c. fieldmouse, dick powell as dick fowl, fats waller as fats swallow, deanna durbin as deanna terrapin, irvin s. cobb as irvin s. frog, fred macmurray as fred mcfurry, bing crosby as bing crowsby, al jolson as al goatson, ruby keeler as ruby squealer, lanny ross as lanny hoss, grace moore as grace moose, and finally lily pons as lily swans.

speaking of grace and lily, they’re both highlighted as they fight to out-perform each other, seeing who can sing the highest note. tashlin pulls of a rather intriguing camera move: as the pan settles on the two of them, the background changes. it’s a subtle maneuver, but smart thinking nonetheless--especially since the camera extends into a vertical pan. as both women fight to sing the highest note, their necks extend, both of them scaling high into the night sky, harmonizing on one final shrill note. they both crumple back into the stands, exhausted by their efforts. some fun exaggerated animation for sure--one wonders how much further this would have been pushed had this been tashlin’s second stint at WB rather than his first. his speed often rivaled, if not out-performed, tex avery’s.

birdie and finchell have a brief interstitial together before making way for a raven caricature of haven macquarrie (raven mcquandry). his sequence is almost jarringly short, but full of fun drawings and poses--the pose of him standing curtly with his arms crossed is awfully reminiscent of izzy ellis’ work under tashlin and later bob clampett in the mid ‘40s. mcquandry asks “do YOU wanna be an actor?”, parotting the name of his real life counterpart’s show so do you want to be an actor? the audience shouts “NO!” in unison, causing mcquandry to do a take and shrug dubiously. though the scene is only a few short seconds, the animation brings forth some much needed vitality.

next is a penguin caricature of joe penner, singing a hilariously out-of-tune rendition of “my green fedora”. the animation is reused from the cartoon of the same name (notice how he doesn’t have penguin feet!), which was also used in toy town hall. not a complaint, but more an observation--this is by far the most humorous performance of the song yet, sung by blanc rather than tommy bond.

another fun scene with some vivacious animation is a sequence featuring a mule caricature of martha raye (dubbed moutha bray), singing a cover of “how could you?”, which has been featured as an underscore in cartoons such as porky’s badtime story and its later remake, tick tock tuckered. raye’s large mouth served as prime material for caricatures, as we see here. the animation is snappy, fun, and vivid--she finishes her song by “swallowing” the camera, an old trick that beckons memories of the harman and ising cartoons of animation past. 

an interesting trend in the ‘30s WB cartoons is the trend of playing with the iris, whether it was the closing iris out or an iris in between transitions. tex avery would consistently play with the final iris out on his cartoons, whereas directors such as friz freleng and bob clampett would use one as a transition between scenes. here, tashlin uses the “swallow the camera” technique as a segue for an iris in, tedd pierce’s falsetto squeaking “hello folksies!” as we’re introduced to a fish caricature of tizzie lish, a character played by bill comstock on al pearce and his gang.

though tizzie has long faded into obscurity (as has the entire community sing radio show), it’s still quite easy to appreciate pierce’s vocals and mannerisms as he portrays the character. it’s always a joy to hear him doing voices for cartoons--he’s never been my favorite writer on the crew, but he was an excellent talent as a voice actor. his squeaky deliveries, matter of fact deliveries “mix them up... are you mixing? my friends say i’m a good mixer. are you? or aren’t you?” as tizzie haphazardly dumps food items and their respective utensils into a bowl and prepares the meal are nothing short of hilarious. the timing is very well executed and can be appreciated regardless of background knowledge.

after humming a pitchy rendition of “the lady in red” while waiting for her concoction to bake in the waffle iron, tizzie removes the homemade waffle and discards it, instructing the audience “now take the ‘wiffle’ out and eat the iron. you must have iron in your system. or should you?” thus concludes tizzie’s act, certainly heightened in hilarity by pierce’s vocals and timing.

for the final act, ben birdie introduces a possum caricature of louella parsons, the host of the radio program hollywood hotel, which served as a way to advertise upcoming movies by featuring guest stars enacting some of the scenes. here, we have caricatures of jack benny (as jack bunny, the first of his many reoccurrences), mary livingstone (canary livingstone), and andy devine (andy bovine).

tedd pierce voices andy bovine, whose voice burlusqued not only in this cartoon, but to a greater extent in friz freleng’s my little buckeroo not even a year later. devine, a western star, was notorious for his scratchy, shrill voice which was rife for comedic opportunity. indeed, this scene here with pierce’s vocals is nothing short of hilarious: 

the trio chronicle the prodigal’s return, in which bunny and canary coo over their baby son. out of the bassinet pops incongruously large bovine, who shrieks “HOWDY MAAAA! HI PAAAA!”, the sheer volume of his voice enough to blow both of his parents away and out of the scene. and, with that, the scene ends, red curtains colorized from porky’s romance marking the sequence’s end. short, sweet, to the point, and hilarious.

ending right where the cartoon began, the owl caricature of alexander woollcott bids us farewell, the iris closing in on the bell he rings as he exclaims that all is well.

like so many other cartoons i’ve reviewed, this is one that i slowly warmed up to upon rewatching it and typing out the review for myself. i didn’t entirely dislike the cartoon upon my first watch, but it’s undeniably dated and deserves its title as possibly the most dated cartoon. without further research, some of the jokes and caricatures (if not all of them) are difficult to appreciate. the animation has bursts of energy throughout the short, the highlights being the scenes featuring raven mcquarry and moutha bray, but otherwise remains relatively simple and conservative. tashlin does incorporate a few intriguing camera angles throughout the cartoon, but many other entries of his are far more cinematic.

however, despite all of that, this cartoon is not without its bonuses: art loomer’s backgrounds are stunningly gorgeous and rich, and as someone who loves the lush, painterly backgrounds of the 1930s, this is heaven to me. and, as i mentioned previously, tedd pierce’s scenes are great--the tizzie fish and andy bovine sequences are undeniable comedic highlights.

so, if you’re willing to dedicate time to put in the research for this cartoon, you’ll find it’s quite fascinating! i’m certain this was a much bigger gut-buster in 1937 than it is in 2020, but even then, this is a good cartoon for people such as myself who love to learn more information and seek out facts. as a result, i’d recommend it to people who fall into that category. if you’re just someone who wants a good laugh and a leisurely watch, there are more interesting cartoons that lie ahead. you won’t miss much by skipping it.

with that said, here’s the link!