#Fair warning I only did Numbers 1-12 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

imaginespazzi · 8 months ago

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Part 2: If Only You'd Been Here

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you (but ain't nobody love you like I do)

(In which a sadistic writer tortures her beloved ship a fair amount and maybe her readers too)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and maybe Fluff if you squint

Words: 6.5K (someone please be proud that it is in fact shorter 🙈)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good morning my lovelies <3 Just a couple of things I changed that you should know before you read. If you follow WCBB, you know UCLA didn't win the Pac-12 tournament in 2023 but in this universe they did. You also probably know they lost in the NCAA tournament last year to SC in the Greenville region but in this universe, for plot purposes, they're gonna be in the Seattle region. I kept their seeding and who they were playing vague because it was gonna get too complicated to figure out. Also if you saw my list of part titles a while ago, no you didn't lol. As always, feel free to know what you liked, what you didn't, and anything you'd like to see in future parts. And as you're reading, let's just remember y'all love me and everything I do is for the plot. Happy reading and have a wonderful week lovelies!

December 2022

The distinctly “car” smell of her car is starting to make Paige more than a little nauseous. Going by the way Drew is pouting in the passenger seat, he’s also clearly over it. They’ve been driving in circles for what feels like hours. At first, still enamoured with being allowed to sit in the front, her little brother had gone along with her ridiculousness. Now, as they approach maybe the 12th or so lap around the neighbourhood, he seems less than thrilled.

“Alright let me out and you keep driving,” Drew says, fiddling agitatedly with his seatbelt, “I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Well hold it in,” Paige retorts unhelpfully as they re-round the block. She keeps her eyes focused on the road, ignoring the glare her brother sends her away. He takes in a dramatic breath and leans back onto his seat. She grips the steering wheel tighter as they pass the house again, still not brave enough to pull into the driveaway of a place she’d once considered just as much a home as her own.

Drew lets out another groan, “I shoulda just stayed home.”

“Well you didn’t-” Paige’s reply is cut off by the sound of a phone call reverberating around the car. The CallerID reads “Azzi (DON’T YOU DARE IGNORE)”, a name the younger girl had plugged in herself with a warning look the day Paige had left LA. Chewing whatever dry skin is still left on her bitten-to-death lips, Paige clicks accept on the call.

“What number lap is this?” comes Azzi’s exasperated voice and Paige can’t help the smile that creeps onto her face.

“Oh you know my car’s feeling the need to exercise today,” Paige hums back, suddenly feeling a lot lighter than she had just a couple of seconds ago. Sometimes, she’s not sure how she managed to go a year with this constant heavy weight pressing down on her ribs, and no Azzi to slowly ease her out from under it.

“Azziiiiii,” Drew whines dramatically, “please come save me. I’m gonna die in this car.”

Affronted, Paige splutters, “nobody forced you to come.”

“You begged me to come,” her young brother quips back and it elicits a laugh from the girl on the other end of the line.

“I did-”

“Paige,” Azzi cuts her off, “just come inside okay? You’re wasting gas for nothing.”

“I- it’s just-,” Paige’s hands tighten even more around the wheel, as she stops on the sidewalk, switching on her turn signal, but still not entering the driveway. She leans her head against the wheel, overwhelmed by emotions she can’t quite name. Drew places a comforting hand on her back and she sends him a reassuring smile, trying to shield her younger brother from the havoc in her brain.

“Hey,” Azzi’s voice floats through the fog, “it’s just me okay? Me and you and us. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

It’s like a child being soothed with their favourite binkie, that’s what Azzi’s promise feels like to Paige. She finally turns into the driveaway, and both Drew and Azzi cheer in tandem. The knot in her chest loosens just a little bit at that because the large crowds that scream for her make her feel adored, but this, her own personal cheer squad for her littlest of achievements, well it makes her feel loved.

“Freedom,” Drew yells as he practically flings himself out of Paige’s barely parked car. She rolls her eyes fondly at her mini me as he dramatically pretends to kiss the ground. It’s a small distraction from the memories that are swirling like a tornado in her mind. Minnesota is home, it’ll always be home but this place, this had been her safe haven, something she could hold onto at a time where everything else was slipping out of her hands. And then, like a fool, she’d let go of it.

The door opens even before they’ve made it halfway to the door and Azzi’s brothers run out into the front yard. Jon pretends to take pictures and José practically falls to his knees as they swarm around the blonde.

“Paige, Paige, can we get a picture or an autograph please,” they yell teasingly, “please Miss Bueckers we’re your biggest fans.”

“Move over boys,” Tim Fudd’s booming voice hollers, as he swats his children away, “her biggest fan is actually me eh Paige?”

The girl in question nods solemnly, her smile stretching the full length of her face, and both Jon and José let out a groan as their father beams at Paige. And then Katie’s there, not a hint of anything but pure happiness on her face as she wraps the younger girl into a hug. Paige melts into the embrace, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. Because all she can think about is the hundreds of calls and texts from Azzi that she’d left unanswered, all she can think of is Azzi's devastated face as she’d told Paige about just how hard she’d tried and that wretched ache of i don’t deserve this i broke your daughters heart wraps itself around Paige’s heart.

Over Katie’s shoulder, Paige watches as Azzi finally walks out into the law, her cheeks immediately turning red from the cold. The younger girl winks at Paige with a radiant smile, before giving all her attention to Drew who almost trips as he excitedly launches himself into Azzi, tiny hands wrapping around her waist. Paige watches, still buried in the warmth of Katie’s arms, as Drew animatedly tells Azzi all the stories he possibly can and Azzi nods along emphatically as if she’s being told the most important facts of her life. And Paige takes a snapshot of it to add to her ever growing collection of moments i just knew.

***

January 2023

“Call her.”

Paige doesn’t bother replying, burying her face further into her tear-soaked pillow. Maybe if she ignores her teammate, Caroline will get the message and go away. The earth-shattering pain that she’d subdued for the last couple of months had finally reared its ugly head. And that too at the worst time possible, when her team needed to be a source of strength and with cameras catching the teardrops falling as she mourned the loss of not being able to play in the epic UConn-Tennessee rivalry. She’d done so well at holding it in, breaking apart only a couple of times, sometimes alone and sometimes with Azzi on the other end of the line. Until tonight, when the bright lights and roaring crowd had reignited the itch to just fucking play ball.

“Paige,” Caroline says again, “stop being stubborn and call her.”

“She has a game tomorrow, she doesn’t need my dramatic ass worrying her right now,” Paige replies, getting into a sitting position when she realises the other girl isn’t about to just let this go.

“You’re eventually going to call her. The two of you haven’t gone one day without talking to each other since this summer,” Caroline gives her a look, a hint of a smirk play on her face when it tints Paige’s cheeks pink, “seriously, just call her.”

It’s not that Paige doesn’t want to. She’d scrolled through her contacts and stopped at Azzi’s one too many time’s tonight. And each time, just as her fingers had hovered over the green call button, she’d felt guilt claw at her neck. Since she’d shown up in LA, Azzi had shown up for Paige every step of the way, checking in regularly, listening to Paige vent her anger at the world and whispering words of comfort that only sounded true when they came from Azzi’s mouth. Sometimes, if she tries really hard, Paige can feel the ghost of Azzi’s arms wrapping themselves around her shoulders, just as they had that one night in LA when Azzi had held her, so delicately as if she was made of porcelain, through the worst of her breakdowns.

“She needs to focus on her game,” Paige says after a moment.

Caroline sighs, mind wandering to the countless texts on her phone from Azzi begging her to take care of Paige and to let her know when the blonde wasn’t doing okay, “I know but she’d want you to call her if she knew. You need her.”

“And where was I when she needed me?” it’s the word need that triggers it, the quick snap because it’s all Paige has been able to think about lately.

Without basketball, she’d had far too much time on her hands and she’d ended up going down a spiral of watching Azzi’s games from her freshman year, something she’d religiously avoided doing when they had happened live. At first, it had just been this immense feeling of pride, seeing her best friend be the college basketball phenomenon Paige had always known she would be. She’d shoved away the envy of it was supposed to be us that immersed her seeing the way the Bruins celebrated their new star player, and just let herself be happy in her best friend’s happiness.

And then something changed around at the beginning of January 2022. It had only lasted a couple of games, but Azzi had hit a wall. Threes were short, cuts were made at the wrong time and she kept on getting lost on defence in a way that was very unlike her. And all Paige could focus on, eyes glued to the screen, was how completely and utterly exhausted Azzi looked during that stretch, despite the fact that she’d just come back from winter break. The smile had vanished off her face, replaced by stress lines Paige wished she could go back in time and erase.

It wasn’t until she’d binged through all the games, cheering silently as Azzi slowly returned to form, that the realisation had hit Paige. She’d been slapped with the memory of a store decorated brightly for Christmas and a familiar voice calling her name, as she’d purposely walked the other way, pretending she hadn’t heard and the more than deserved i’m done trying text that had followed right after. For a year, perhaps longer, Paige had convinced herself that she was the only one who had lost something, she was the only one who had a right to hurt, to break. And still, she thinks she’d take all of that pain again a thousand times, if it means she could erase the fact that in all of her self-pity, she’d broken Azzi too.

“Where was I when she needed me?” she repeats again to Caroline, as the brunette stares at her in confusion, “the answer to that Carol, is that I was anywhere but with her.”

Caroline’s eyes soften in realisation as she takes a cautious step towards Paige, “oh P don’t do this to yourself.”

“I want to call her,” Paige confesses in a whisper, tears brimming in her eyes, “it’s the only thing I’ve wanted to do all day and maybe- maybe I should have but I’m just- I’ve been so unfair to her.”

“You were hurt Paige.”

“I know- I know that. But so was she. You don’t- god Carol- you don’t even know the things I said to her before she left for LA. And she’s still here,” the first tears fall from her blue eyes, and then the next and the next until there’s a steady waterfall streaming down her face, “you know I almost didn’t let her in when she first came over this summer?”

Caroline doesn’t say anything, choosing instead to come sit next to Paige and wrap her arms around the point guard.

“I didn’t answer her calls or her texts for a year and still, still she’s picked up every call, replied to every text I’ve sent her since summer. I know- I know I need her and she’s going to be there of course she is. But when she needed me, where was I?” Paige drops her face into her hands, “I just- I don’t deserve her.”

There’s a moment of silence as Caroline rubs Paige’s back and lets the older girl wallow in her guilt. And then she reaches for Paige’s phone on the nightstand, ignoring the little grunt of protest. When the screen lights up, there’s already a notification of new messages from Azzi and Caroline can’t help but smile.

“I think,” she begins softly, “Azzi’s a smart girl so maybe give that tiny little brain of yours a little bit of rest and let her decide who deserves her,” she hands Paige her phone “let her be there for you. I think maybe she needs that too.”

Caroline gives Paige’s shoulders a little squeeze before heading out the doors, giving the older girl a moment of privacy. Paige sighs, getting herself comfortable against her pillows, and rubbing away her tears, before finally giving in and pressing the facetime call button.

“Do you want a distraction or do you want to talk about it?” Azzi says as soon as she picks up and Paige can see the concern etched all over her face.

“Or maybe I’m perfectly fine?”

“Ah we’re playing the pretend game tonight. Should have cleared your throat for a second longer maybe Miss Perfectly Fine, your eyes are red as fuck and you sound like a dying cat.”

“Wow, that was rude. Maybe I’m sick?”

“With what? The “lies to her best friend” flu?”

“That UCLA education has you making up illnesses now? Damn Az, you’re supposed to get smarter in college.”

“You’re so funny, like so funny,” Azzi huffs sarcastically before they both dissolve into giggles. It’s always just been so easy with them. And Paige’s isn’t a poet, but if she was, she’d write sonnets about the sound of Azzi’s laughter, and the way it makes the corner of her eyes crinkle.

“I watched the game,” Azzi says after a second, “and I saw you.”

Paige smirks, “so you didn’t actually watch the game, just stared at my gorgeous face the whole time?”

“There’s that comedian streak of yours again.”

“Hey you’re the one who said you were watching me instead of the game. But who could blame you really?”

“I didn’t-” Azzi rolls her eyes, as Paige’s cocky smirk deepens, “stop it.”

“You can admit I’m a pretty girl Az,” she teases, delighted when it makes the younger girl blush.

“Fuck off, you have enough people telling you you’re a pretty girl.”

“Yeah but it means more coming from you,” she says quietly, biting her lip. It’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to say to your best friend, at least not in the soft, wanting way that Paige says it. Except they both know that the lines in their friendship are far more blurred than they should be, even if they've both done a pretty fantastic job at ignoring that kiss. Paige had learned over Christmas that Azzi was exceptionally good at the pretending part, moving away the moment Paige’s hands lingered a little longer than they should, changing topics if they even got anywhere near addressing the something between them. It shouldn’t have hurt but it did and Paige doesn’t understand how she can so desperately miss something that she never even had in the first place.

“So distraction then?” Azzi says after a second, changing the subject back to her initial question.

Paige closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath, “it was just- it was a lot tonight. I didn’t realise I was being that obvious.”

“You weren’t. I just know you a little too well.”

“These are my favourite types of games, you know. The rivalry, the crowd booing my name and getting the chance to quiet them, that’s- that’s the type of game players live for and I just- I miss it Azzi. I miss shooting, I miss defending, I miss just standing on the fucking court sometimes. I miss playing basketball. So. Fucking. Much,” a fresh set of tears leak out of Paige's eyes, as her free hand fists at her bedsheets.

There’s silence as Paige’s words linger in the air. In a way it’s freeing to be able to say it out loud, to just let herself feel how she feels instead of fighting them.

“You’re gonna miss it every day until you play again,” Azzi says quietly, her own voice thick with emotions, “and it’s not really gonna get easier until you get it back. But when you finally do, just- just imagine it okay, your first game back. The feeling of the crowd. Dribbling up the court. Making that first shot as everybody loses their minds. Finally just playing the game you love. That’s when that feeling of loss will finally go away.”

Using Azzi’s steady breathing as an anchor to still her erratic heartbeat, Paige lets herself get lost in the picture the younger girl has just painted for her. She lets her mind run to the future that lies ahead of her and if she focuses hard enough she can almost hear the Gampel crowds roaring as she finally returns to the court.

“It’s kinda really fucking annoying how you always know what to say,” no it isn’t, it’s the only thing that’s keeping Paige going these days.

“Surviving an ACL injury will do that to a girl,” Azzi says with a pained smile.

That’s not it Paige thinks, it’s not experience, it’s you and I really wish you were here. But she can’t say that, so she changes the subject instead.

“Tell me about your game tomorrow.”

They both settle back into their pillows, getting into more comfortable positions. Azzi tells Paige all about her upcoming game and then moves onto another topic, then another and another and another. They’ll wake up tomorrow morning to phones that died and no memory of when they’d fallen asleep. And then they’ll remember who was on the other end of the line, and if that makes them smile a little too hard, well that’s just another thing they’ll pretend didn’t happen.

***

March 2023

It’s only natural that when Paige finally feels like she can learn to live with just having a little bit of Azzi, that the world would show her just how wrong she could be. She’s been in a much better headspace these days, her knee finally starting to feel like itself again, bit by bit. The guilt of not being able to help her team is still settled into the pits of her stomach but even with that, she’s reached a sort of acceptance. And while she’s still struggling to fight the part of her heart that wants so much more, she’s learning to be content with just having her best friend back.

It’s that little bit of time in between conference tournaments and the NCAA tournament when it feels like the calm before the storm and it’s the first weekend since before the season that the UConn team finally gets to go out and let loose for a bit. They’re riding the height of winning another Big East title and even if it’s a little bittersweet that they did it without her, Paige is beyond the moon happy for her team.

She turns up the music in her room and changes the lights for the sake of a little ambience, before sitting down at her desk, to call Azzi and do what little of her makeup she knows how to do. Normally she’d get one of the other girls or Kayla to do it, but she’d rather sacrifice a flawless makeup look then miss out on having Azzi tease her about how she still didn’t quite know how to do her eyeliner properly yet.

The fact that it takes Azzi longer than the third ring to pick up should be Paige’s first warning sign but instead she’s sucking in a deep breath at the sight of her best friend who looks breathtakingly beautiful tonight. Paige’s heart stutters as she takes in Azzi’s face, the light layer of red lipstick (that Paige wants to kiss off), the blush-tinged cheeks (that Paige wants to caress delicately) and the perfectly done mascara on her eyelashes (that Paige wants to feel flutter against her own skin).

She lets out a low appreciative whistle, “celebrating that Pac-12 championship in style huh?”

“Something like that,” Azzi bites her lip and really that should have been warning sign number two, “was there- was there something you needed?’

“I can’t just call you?” Paige asks, noticing the tension on Azzi’s face, “are you busy?”

“No it’s not-”

“She is actually,” a different voice cuts in aggressively and Azzi immediately gives whoever it is an exasperated look. Paige doesn’t know who it is, but she guesses it’s one of the UCLA players. It’s no secret they aren’t huge fans of her. They’d made that much clear the few times they’d met Paige during September, always regarding her with a wary eyes. It wasn’t their fault really, Paige understood their protectiveness, in fact she appreciated it more than they would ever understand.

“Chill Angela.”

“Are you not busy then?” the other voice who Paige assumes is Angela Dugalic says, clearly a little annoyed. And then Azzi’s phone is being shifted away from her and instead it’s Angela’s face that covers Paige’s screen.

“Oh,” the blonde manages to get out, taken aback by the sudden change, “hi Angela.”

“Hi Paige,” the other girl says, her voice dripping with saccharine sweetness.

“Angela,” there’s a clear warning in Azzi’s voice and Paige already knows, even before the words are let out into the open, that whatever Dugalic is about to say is going to tear her apart.

“Azzi has a date tonight,” Angela pronounces the last words with a gleeful lilt.

The world spins and Paige’s head spins with it, as she grips onto her desk for some semblance of stability. She can hear Azzi spluttering in the background as she tries to get her phone back but it’s of no use as the UCLA forward powers on.

“With a really pretty girl,” Angela smirks at the camera, clearly trying to prove something, “Zoe’s really wonderful. You’d like her, Paige.”

Zoe. Recognition registers in Paige’s brain. She remembers seeing the name flashing on Azzi’s phone a couple of times, accompanied by a photo she never quite caught a glimpse of. But as she tended to do with most phone calls that came during her time with Paige, Azzi had simply just declined the call and texted whoever that she’d call her back later. And so Paige hadn’t really bothered caring about Zoe, chalking her up to being some random friend Azzi had made. But fuck, maybe she should have cared.

“And Azzi really likes her I think. They’ve been tiptoeing around it for ages you know? But we all knew it was only a matter of time.”

A strangled noise escapes Paige’s throat and she tries her best to disguise it as anything but the cry of despair it is. It feels like there’s a thousand knives digging into her skin, pressing harder and harder until she has no blood left to bleed.

“They’re gonna make the cu-”

“Give me my phone back Angela,” Azzi’s voice cuts in harshly and Paige hurriedly rushes to contort her features into a smile right before the camera’s back to facing her best friend.

“So you’re all dressed up for a date then?” Paige manages to get out and the word date sounds like bile on her tongue.

“Doesn’t she look lovely?” comes Angela’s voice again; the girl seemingly on a mission to break Paige as much as possible, “give her a proper look Az.”

“Angela,” Azzi hisses through gritted teeth.

“N-no show me the fit,” Paige counters, because that’s what a best friend’s supposed to say right? Show me how fucking perfect you look for a girl that’s not me

Azzi hesitates, swallowing nervously, before she takes a couple of steps back so the camera captures all of her. And Paige wishes she’d never asked to be shown in the first place, hell she wishes she’d never bothered to call tonight. Because she thinks the image of Azzi’s casual light blue jeans and simple green off-the shoulder top will be etched in her mind forever, captioned with the words not for you.

“You look lovely Azzi,” she whispers quietly, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Zoe won’t be able to keep her fucking hands off of you,” Angela supplies and this time the glare Azzi shoots her is murderous.

“I think I hear Emily calling your name Angela.”

“I don’t-”

“Yes,” Azzi says pointedly, “yes you do.”

Angela rolls her eyes but doesn’t protest this time. She turns to the phone with a devilish grin, clearly feeling accomplished in being a menace, “nice talking to you Paige.”

She waltzes out, leaving Paige, Azzi and a silence that feels like it could drown them.

“You could have told me,” the blond says after a second, averting her eyes from the screen, “aren’t dates the kind of thing best friends are supposed to tell each other?”

“Paige-”

“It’s good though- you-uh- you deserve a night out.”

“P-”

“Listen, I uh- I’m going out too so- I- umm- I better get going but-,” Paige takes in a deep breath, “have a- have wonderful time on your date Az.”

She hangs up before Azzi can reply, the concern in the younger girl's eyes becoming too much to bear. For a moment, she stares straight ahead at the wall, just processing. And then she lets herself fall apart.

***

It’s 1 a.m., Paige is drunk and miserable and so fucking tired; it’s an extremely dangerous combination. Aaliyah and Amari had practically had to carry her to her dorm because she’d been stumbling far too much and everyone was worried she’d eventually fall flat on her face. Personally, Paige thought they just didn’t have enough faith in her. She wasn’t even that drunk, she couldn’t be. After all she could still feel that stupid Azzi-sized scar on heart and wasn’t the whole point of being drunk supposed to be not being able to feel? But she has to be drunk because sober her would know better than to do what she does next, would know better than to call Azzi when she has no control over herself.

“Paige? Is everything okay? Are you okay,” Azzi’s voice is filled with concern when she answers.

“Azziiiii,” Paige slurs, “areyoustillwithyourdate?”

“What?”

“Are. you. still. with. your. date?” Paige pronounces each word slowly.

“I- yeah. She’s in a different room. Paige, are you okay?”

“Interesting,” the blonde remarks quietly, “you never picked up her calls when you were with me. And we weren’t even dating.”

She hears Azzi’s breath hitch on the other end, can almost picture her doing that nervous swallow of hers, “ I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“You didn’t care if she was okay then? Those times she called you?”

“That’s not- she didn’t call me at 1 a.m.” the younger girl justifies hollowly.

“Bullshit,” Paige scoffs, “1 a.m. isn’t even that fucking late. Why is it so hard for you to admit you care about me waaaayyyyy more than you care about Zara or whatever?”

“Zoe. You’re drunk Paige, go to bed,” and Paige really should listen to the edge in Azzi’s voice.

“Where did y’all go?” she asks lightly, changing the subject, “c’mon Az, best friends share their date stories right?”

“Baltaire,” Azzi relents, choosing to let this battle go.

“Oooh that restaurant we passed that one time wow,” Paige coos, “too fucking bad you hate fine dining huh? But she wouldn’t know that now would she? Because she doesn’t fucking know you.”

“Paige please,” Azzi breathes out quietly in a pained voice.

“But you know who does know you? Me. And I would have never taken you to some boring old fancy ass piece of shit restaurant like that.”

“Don’t-”

“I would have taken you on a picnic. Do you remember that park you loved, the one by my air bnb? There, that’s where I would have taken you. And I’d have gotten you supermarket sushi even though I fucking hate that shit but I know, I know, you like it. And flowers. Did she get you flowers? Because I- I would have. Roses and peonies and lilies, a whole fucking bouquet.”

And Paige is crying again, for the second time tonight, one hand gripping at her phone as the other one tries to wipe away the frantically falling teardrops.

“And we’d stay at that park til the sun goes out and I’d take a polaroid of you in the sunset and I’d keep it forever. I swear Azzi, I’d keep it forever and I’d put it on my wall.”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, as if it’s the only word she knows, as if it’s the only word that matters.

“I’d bring my laptop so that when it finally gets dark, we can watch a movie. You choose Az, whatever you want. And I’d get distracted and start playing with your hair or something and you’ll pretend it’s annoying you but you’d be smiling. Fuck I love your smile.”

“You can’t- you can’t just say these things Paige.”

“Why not? It’s the truth right- why can’t I say the truth?,” Paige says petulantly, “but hush okay I’m not- I’m not finished yet. And then, then we’d just lie under the stars and it'd just be you, me and the sky. Perfect.”

Azzi lets out a broken sob and Paige hates it, she hates it but she keeps on talking.

“And then I’d take you home and I’d kiss you,” she whispers the last bit like a confession, “everywhere. Fuck, I’d make it so good for you Az. So good. Everything you wanted, everything you needed, I’d give you all of it. I’d make you come apart on my fingers and then my tongue-”

“Shut up,” Azzi’s voice is suddenly cold and frosty and it feels like all the heat has been sucked out of Paige’s room as well, “shut up, shut up, shut up.”

“Azzi-”

“No,” Azzi all but yells, “you don’t get to say all of that to me.”

“Then who does? Her? Zia or whatever? Who the fuck even is she?” Paige spits out venomously.

“Zoe. Her name is Zoe and you wanna know she is Paige?”

She should say no. She should apologise for interrupting Azzi’s date and hang up the phone, but no, Paige doesn’t do any of that, “enlighten me why don’t you.”

“She’s the girl who was there,” Azzi says, her voice cracking, “she’s the girl who held me last year when I was going through the worst time of my life. She was there when I couldn’t make a fucking shot and I thought maybe I’d never be good enough. She was there when I let the pressure and the media and all of it get to my head. She was there when I was crying my eyes out over losing the one person I was sure would always stay. She- she’s who you were supposed to be because she was there, and you weren’t.”

Paige isn’t sure if it’s the bitterness behind Azzi’s words or the brokenness of her sobs that is the reason for the ache in her own chest. All she knows is that she still remembers tearing her ACL, and she doesn’t think it hurt as much as this.

“It was supposed to be you,” Azzi sniffles, “I wanted it to be you. Because I’d have let you- fuck- Paige- I’d have let you take me on a picninc and if you brought me sushi I’d have brought you your favorite mac and cheese. I- I know you don’t really care about flowers so I’d get you chocolate, the rum-filled ones that you love. And that sunset polaroid would have been a selfie of us, where you’re kissing my cheek and I’d have it framed. I’d pick out a movie but first- first you could watch whatever basketball game was on and you’d get exasperated when I don’t know the team because I’m literally a basketball player,” she lets out a wet laugh, “but I know you secretly like explaining the NBA to me. And then- then I’d have let you take me home and I’d let you take everything. Whatever you wanted, it’d be yours.”

The vivid image of a date that never happened fills every inch of Paige’s brain. She feels like she’s in a bad dream, trying so hard to reach for a happiness that keeps on evading her grasp.

“But you weren’t there then Paige, and you aren’t here now.”

“Azzi-” Paige chokes out.

“Go to bed Paige,” the younger girl says, her voice shaky but adamant, ‘Get some sleep. Maybe you’re drunk enough that you won’t remember this when I call you tomorrow.”

“Right. So we’re gonna pretend this never happened. Again. We’ll just keep on pretending forever I guess,” Paige retorts bitterly.

“Yes, we will. Because if I stop pretending, I don’t think I’ll be able to survive.”

***

The buzzer rings around Climate Pledge Arena as the UCLA women’s basketball team loses in the Elite 8 on a last second buzzer beater. Azzi’s face contorts into one of sheer disappointment, and in the stands, Paige feels her own heart drop. She’s not one to root for a team outside of her own and god knows what would happen if Nika found out that she’d been screaming her head off each time the Bruins, or at least one specific Bruin, scored, but for Azzi, well, there’s not many of her own rules that Paige follows when it comes to her best friend.

It had taken a fair amount of convincing on Paige’s part to even be able to come to this game. Everyone had wanted to leave immediately after the Sweet 16 loss but Paige had insisted they needed to stay in Seattle, do something to get the team’s mind off of the terrible end to their season. And that wasn’t a complete lie because even if she hadn’t been able to help when they needed it on the court, she could try and help boost morale. But she knew her teammates weren’t fooled. They knew the schedule just as well as she did and they knew exactly what or better yet, who she wanted to stay for.

On the court, Paige can tell Azzi’s fighting back tears. The brunette had given it her all, scoring an efficient 34 points and really the game could have gone any way. That last minute heave from the opposing team really probably shouldn’t have gone in, but at the end of the day the NCAA tournament was a lot about skill but also a little about luck. But Paige knows, Azzi isn’t thinking about any of that, too busy finding a way to blame herself even though she’d had a near perfect night. They were just too similar sometimes.

Azzi’s eyes flicker through the stands, clearly looking for a familiar face. Paige resists the urge to run on to the court and pull the younger girl into her arms and soothe away the defeated look in her eyes, if only for the fact that Azzi doesn’t actually even know she’d figured out a way to stay back for this game. Despite being in the same city, they hadn’t been able to spend nearly as much time together and while Paige’s teammates had tried to be of some help, Azzi’s teammates had seemed determined to pull her away as much as possible. All of that on top of the fact that they’re still playing that stupid game of pretend had left Paige wanting for just one moment alone for the two of them.

As soon as the UCLA team starts heading back to their locker room, and the crowd starts leaving, Paige scurries towards where she knows Azzi will be. Their assigned locker room isn’t that far from where UConn’s had been and Paige gets there in almost record time, her mind firmly planted on being there for Azzi. She’d missed so many opportunities, but this time, this time she’d be there.

Azzi’s leaning against the wall, her eyes closed and Paige has to take in a breath at the sight of her. Sweat sheens against her tan skin and her gameday braids are falling apart just a little but still, she’s perfect. Before Paige can take a step towards her, there’s another girl, all dark hair and long legs, brushing past her, rushing to get to Azzi’s side. It’s like the world has stopped and yet is spinning too fast all at the same time, as Paige watches this girl, Zoe, pull Azzi, Paige’s Azzi, into her arms.

After the night of the date (and everything else they’re ignoring), Paige hadn’t bothered to bring it up and Azzi had never said anything about it again. Naively, the blonde had thought that maybe that meant nothing much had transpired after the date, silently patting herself on the back for possibly even having had a hand in that. Except, the way Zoe holds Azzi isn’t fucking platonic and the way Azzi relaxes in Zoe’s arms, isn’t fucking friendly.

“I”ve got you Az,” Zoe whispers into Azzi’s hair and Paige wants to die. She should look away, she should walk away but her feet seem to be glued to the ground. And she remembers the way Azzi’s eyes were searching the crowd and oh- she’d been looking for- Paige can’t even let herself complete the thought because she’s sure she’ll burst into flames the second she does.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Azzi says quietly to Zoe. To Zoe, and not Paige. If she could feel anything beyond the dagger twisting in her heart, maybe Paige would hear the way there’s still a tinge of disappointment in Azzi’s voice, as if she’s wishing it was someone else.

It takes Zoe pressing a kiss into Azzi’s forehead, eliciting a sigh from the brunette for Paige to finally tear her eyes away. Her feet finally move and then she’s running faster than she has in a long time, ignoring the way it causes her muscle to ache. She can’t tell if her rapid blinking is to usher away the tears or to try and prevent the memory of Azzi with some other girl from welding itself into her eyelids. It blurs her vision and in the speed of things, she can barely tell where she’s going. Paige runs chest-first into a wall, bruising her elbow. Her phone slips out of her hands, falling to the ground with a loud thud, the screen protector cracking into pieces.

And when Paige looks at the mess of her phone on the floor, she thinks it couldn’t possibly have cracked harder than this silly little stupid heart of hers.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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fishsticksloser · 1 year ago

Note

hii so this is kinda like. self indulgent 😭 but could you write platonic spiderverse headcanons w a gn spider-reader who’s 12?(got bitten at around 9-10)

hopefully that’s ok, if not it’s fine tho sorry 😭😭

Young!Spiderperson

Spiderverse + gn!reader

Warnings: slight angst, platonic fluff, pretty short

A/N: I'm so tired. I wish I could sleep... We don't need sleep... We only need Astarion... Also before you all yell at me... Noir was bitten at 16 in the comics and says he's been spiderman for 3 years in ItSV meaning he's 19 then 20/21 in AtSV. Same with Hobie, bitten at 16 and says he's been spiderman for 3 years making him 19-20

Miles

He was only 14 when he was bitten

So he's very understanding and wants to help in any way he can

He's thankful he had Peter to help him learn how to be Spider-Man

He can't imagine being 9/10 and doing it alone

Miles has had a fair share of difficult times

But being so young and going through that

Terrifying to him

He will beg his parents to adopt you

Pav

A lot like Miles

He cares so much

He's such a good listener too

And he wants to do everything he can to make your job easier

He was bitten at 14/15, so he's fairly knowledgeable on how hard this is

So never once has he yelled at you for how you performed

Pav spends a lot of time with you

He thinks you're so amazing and he tells you that every time he sees you

He might be your number one fan... Might there might be someone who has him beat

Gwen

She was bitten at 12/13

So the fact that you've already been spiderman for a few years just...

Breaks her heart

It was hard enough at the age she was bitten

She can't imagine having that pressure, those powers

And still be in elementary school

She decides to help you

Not just learn how to use your powers (cause you've been doing it for 2-3 years at this point)

But she decides to be your confidant

She wants you to come to her if you need help or guidance

Noir

He will adopt you

In a heartbeat, are you kidding?

Did you see how quickly he basically adopted Peni?

Yeah... he basically adopted a 14 year old while he was 19

But being so close to Peni, he understood the termoil she went through after she was bitten at 8

This man will fight for you

Tooth and nail

Especially since the spider goddess won't let him die...

He will do whatever it takes to protect and empower you

#1 dad young dad

Hobie

I said someone might have Pav beat for your number one fan...

And this man here might have him beat

He's a punk

Are you kidding?

He is astonished by you

He had his own problems being 16 and a crime fighting rockstar in his universe

But you...

You were just a "wee thing"

He is your biggest fan

Constantly encouraging you to do better

Be better

Be amazing

He is definitely upset that you had so much on your shoulders so young

He wishes he could go back and take it so you could be a kid

Miguel

As if anyone could be more upset by what has happened to you

Losing his daughter at such a young age

He was outraged that you were put under this

He makes you a little escape at HQ

He absolutely builds forts with you

Whatever you want

He just wants to make you happy

You didn't deserve this

Really none of them did, but at 9/10?

You never got to experience what it was like to be a normal kid

Peter

Dad #2 on this list

Peter adopts you instantly, on sight

He's 100% 'kidnapping' you

He treats you like his own kid

You wanna spend the night at his?

He doesn't even have to ask MJ cause she'll agree

Smores, popcorn, Kool aid, you name it he'll get it

He wants you to experience real kid things without all the pressure

Cause you don't deserve that

You shouldn't have had to go through that

And he plans to make you feel loved and appreciated every day of his life

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bingbongsupremacy · 1 year ago

Text

Pen Pal

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Warnings: Slight mentions of homophobia

Summary: You've been Pen Pals with Ellie since you were in 5th grade. Will you finally get to meet her in person?

*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*****

November 3, 2028 (10 yrs old)

Dear Y/N,

My name is Ellie. I'm a fifth grader in Miss James' class in Wyoming. I like Savage Starlight and cookies. My best friends' name is Riley.

Do you have a best friend? Do you like Savage Starlight?

Sincerely Ellie Williams

November 10, 2028 (10 yrs old)

Dear Ellie,

Hi! It's nice to meet you! I love Savage Starlight! My brother hates them though. He never takes me to buy them at the book store :(

My bestfriends' name is Julie! Cookies are cool! I like ice cream. I have a dog. Do you have a dog? Do you like frogs? I like the color pink. Do you like pink?

Sincerely Y/N L/N

June 20, 2030 (12 yrs old)

Dear Y/N,

How's your dog? Joel's teaching me how to play the guitar! I learned how to play a song yesterday! I'm so happy.

Riley and I are planning on going to the fair tomorrow. I wish you could come. I bet you'd love Riley! Maybe some day you could meet her.

I finished the new addition of Savage Starlight yesterday and I'm so fucking sad. Did you finish it? I won't spoil. Let me know if you did so we can talk about it!

Sincerely Ellie!

June 28, 2030 (12 years old)

Dear Ellie,

I have bad news. Pepper died.

She died last night. Mom said she got really old and died in her sleep. Pepper was a good dog. I'm going to miss her.

I'm really sad. I wish she was still her.

I haven't finished Savage Starlight yet. I'm waiting until I feel happy. Maybe in a few days.

Sincerely Y/N

August 3, 2032 (14 years old)

Y/N,

Riley's moving away. She came over and told me today. I'm really sad about it. She's been my friend ever since kindergarten.

She's moving to Boston.

I found an a cute ice cream shop yesterday and thought of you. Maybe some day you can see it. We could get ice cream there and then look at the comic book store.

I can't believe Savage Starlight is fucking ending. I've been reading it since fourth grade. I don't want it to end. How do you feel about it ending?

Love, Els

August 9, 2032 (14 years old)

Els,

I'm so sorry about Riley. That sucks. I hope you guys can still talk.

I'd love to go to the ice cream shop and comic book store with you one day. My brother went off to college today. He's studying to be a doctor. Cool right?

I don't want Savage Starlight end either. I wish it could go on forever. Fucking sucks.

I think you're my best friend.

Love, Y/N

September 12, 2032 (16 yrs old)

Y/N,

I won first place in the art show! I'm so fucking happy. Joel took me out for ice cream with Sarah yesterday. We had so much fun.

Do you think we should start using email? Or texting? Joel got me phone yesterday! I'm so excited! Here's my number if you want to text xxx-xxx-xxxx and my email: [email protected]

I've started working out at a local gym. I love it. I'm going every day. I think I might do something with space when I'm older. I really like space.

Also, I'm gay.

Love, Els

September 18, 2032 (16 yrs old)

Receiver: [email protected]

Subject: Hi

Els, this is my email! I'll send you a text right after this. I'm so happy for you! First phone yay!! Also congrats on the art show!

The gym is fun! And space is so cool! I'm not sure what I'll do yet when I'm older. I'm still deciding. I'm glad you know what you want to do though.

Also, cool! I'm glad you feel comfortable telling me! I love you, Els. <3

My brother's being a fucking asshole. He refuses to come to my birthday party because his girlfriend's parents want to have dinner the same day.

I wish you could come. Maybe some day.

Love, Y/N

May 2, 2034 (18 yrs old)

Receiver: [email protected]

Subject: So

I think I might not be straight. I'm not sure. I've only told you. I can't tell my parents. I don't know how they'd react. I know my brother would hate me. He's a fucking dick now. I don't know why he's the way he is.

My parents have started fighting a lot. Money problems I think. I think my dad might have cheated on my mom too.

I'm excited to go to college next year. I'm glad we got into the same school! We'll finally be able to meet. I've been wanting to meet you for years. Maybe I can finally get away from all the shit that's been going on lately.

I don't know why this all happened so fucking fast.

I hope you're well.

Lots of Love, Y/N

May 2, 2034 (18 yrs old)

Receiver: y/[email protected]

Subject: So

Hey, so I know how you're feeling. It'll take some time to figure out, but you'll get there. No matter what, I'll love you.

You're family sounds like a bunch of dicks. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

I've been talking with Joel and he said I could do this.

Do you want to come stay with me and my family over the summer? Maybe get a break from your family? We could idk finally fucking meet?

Let me know if you want to come to Wyoming. You could meet my friends. Then we could drive up to school together. It's not too far from my house. Maybe day or two away.

Also, I got a girlfriend. her name is Cat. She gave me this cool ass tattoo. I'll send a pic.

__Pic Attached__

Love, Els

My eyes scan over the email again, making sure I didn't imagine what I just read. Ellie just invited me to Wyoming for the summer! There's no fucking way I'm missing this opportunity.

I'm finally going to get to meet her!

My eyes land on the last line. I got a girlfriend.

Fuck.

#fanfiction #fanfic #ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x you #ellie x you #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams #ellie tlou

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missbubblesoda · 9 months ago

Text

early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (24)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (25) | (26) | (27)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 4.4k

As it turned out, taking the post-winter inventory was just as tedious as the winter stockpiling itself, if not a little worse. Your entire arm, from the shoulder down to the pinkie, hurt from holding the heavy logbook; your eyes, from counting every dusty bolt of unused cloth; your back, from bending over to pick up all those fat boxes of untouched grain; and your hand, from writing down all those confusing numbers that had been relentlessly thrown at you all afternoon.

Yes, spending all day inside the storage shed was taxing enough, but you weren’t sure it was worse than what awaited you in your office: The daunting, dragging, and without doubt, ridiculously time-consuming task of condensing all those jumbled up numbers into a detailed log, one that was extensive and comprehensive without turning incomprehensible, so that it could actually be of some use to any ill-starred soldier who found themselves in such dreadful time of the year, when the consultation of dusty old records became inevitable. But hey, the dusty old records left by your predecessors had definitely saved you a frustrated cry or two, so it was only fair you kept the chain going. It was the fair, decent thing to do. Especially when life was so generous to you.

Generous like the orange beams of light seeping through the wood cracks, shining unsparingly on the old cabin walls, as the sun presented its final act of the day. Generous like the ample chorus of cicadas, or perhaps katydids… insects had never been your area of expertise really, performing for free outside the window, announcing that dinner was most likely being served at the castle right now. And you didn’t need to be there to know that the banquet would be generous too, as plentiful and bountiful as the pain all those poor soldiers who spent their day with you at the shed must be enduring at the moment, wincing in pain as they sat down in front of warm meat pies and creamy onion soups. And again, you didn’t need to be there to know that the first comment of the conversation would be something about their feet and how bad they hurt and throbbed inside their boots.

Just like yours did right now.

Yours hurt and throbbed too, but you couldn’t complain.

No, you didn’t feel like doing so. Not even when everyone had already left for the castle and you were still in the shed, in the middle of the woods. Not even when, according to the setting sun and the sudden temperature drop, your shift was supposed to be over by now.

No, you couldn’t complain. Not at all. Definitely not. Especially not when he would kiss you like that, softly and unhurriedly, like the early spring breeze playfully disheveling the tree crowns outside. Not when he would pull away slowly, a smile decorating his glossy lips, admiring you like you belonged in one of those fancy museums your father liked to pretend he visited often. And then, when he seemed to be done memorizing your features, he would pull you in for another kiss, only for the cycle to start all over again. And no matter how many times it had repeated that afternoon, the flutter of butterflies in your stomach was very much ever-present. Without fail, they would show up just as you were about to close your eyes, exactly when his lips were only a hair’s breadth apart from yours. That’s when the butterflies would flutter the most, tickling your insides, and making you giggle.

Making you giggle despite the uncomfortable pile of hay you were sitting on, and the way it was poking your skin through the fabric of your jeans; despite the chilly wind furtively slipping through the cracks of the wood and the way it was making your skin bumpy.

Or maybe it was him the one responsible for that. Maybe it was him, and not the cold, the one responsible for making your hairs stand on end. Yes, maybe it was him and the comfortable hand he kept on the small of your back, gently holding you as yours held his face. Or maybe it was the pleasant way in which the warm sunlight would shine in through the window behind you, artistically gilding the prominent bridge of his nose, masterfully tracing the sharp contour of his jaw, delicately sprinkling the mesmerizing blue of his eyes with gold, making them look like the forest stream from your cabin fantasy, happily glimmering under the sun.

Is this how it was going to be in there, in your little cabin? Kissing in the kitchen, after he comes back from work. His lips on yours the moment he walks in, effectively cutting the words ‘welcome back’ short, promptly trapping them between your lips and his. A reassuring arm wrapped around your waist, telling you how much he missed you. And your hands, cupping his face, telling him how much you did. A wide smile present on your lips the whole time he kisses you, tempted to call it a day already and retreat to the room you share, where you could cuddle under soft, warm covers for the night, but deciding not to when you remember about the pie in the oven. The pie in the oven, you better go check on it. Old-fashioned apples for dinner, because you know how much of a sweet tooth he has, and even though he never asks for it, you always bake something to surprise him with at the end of every meal. Sometimes sugar cream, sometimes orchard pear, sometimes layered pumpkin when you have some extra time, or simple rice pudding when there is none. But always something sweet, sweet like him.

Sweet like the gentle way his lips were cherishing yours back at the dusty storage shed. Softly, unhurriedly, naively, like you had all the time in the world. As if there were no flesh eating giants lurking behind a wall not too many miles away. As if he wasn’t the Commander of the Survey Corps. As if he was just your lover. Simply your beloved and nothing more, the owner of those soft lips now making wet pops against yours, those velvety lips now softly trapping your bottom lip between them, pulling away deliciously slowly, just to start all over again.

Yes, when he was standing between your legs like that, warm chest rising and falling against yours, hand gently holding you close to him, and yours lovingly caressing the bristly skin of his cheek as if it was the softest thing you’d ever get to touch, he became less of a military leader and more like your lover.

“We should get going before it gets too dark.” You said somewhere in between the sugar pecks he was lavishly indulging you with.

“I could kiss you the whole day.” He said, lips puffy and a little red from dancing with yours.

And I could kiss you my whole life. You thought as you stared into his eyes, allowing yourself to travel back to your fantasy cabin for a moment, running a finger across his swollen bottom lip, moist and coated with your saliva. “Well, you can keep kissing me in the office. I happen to have all night as well as a very nice boss who, I’m sure, will understand if I don’t finish this report today.” You smiled cheekily, tapping the papers you had placed in the pile of hay next to you.

“Is that so?” He smiled back, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Is he good to you?”

“Very good.” You smirked, emphasizing that last word with a sultry whisper. “He buys me my favorite treats, takes me to fancy parties and then walks me home, doesn’t like it when I work extra hours, puts more wood on the fire as soon as he notices I’m getting cold; oh! and during expeditions, he lets me hug him if I’m scared.” You reminisced fondly of that day, wondering if sometimes he too found himself thinking about the first time you were in each other’s arms, in the Forest of Giant Trees. “He treats me like I’m his princess. Especially when I lie bare on his bed and he makes love to me.”

He stared at you in silence, his attention shifting between your eyes and your lips, and his smile mirroring yours. His demeanor reminded you of the strategic leader he would become at the meeting room, always unpredictable, always ahead of everyone and everything, an experienced chess player meticulously evaluating what his next big move should be. And for a moment, you thought it would involve his lips colliding with yours again, devouring you, your face, your body, as well as your clothes in the process. Making you his right there in the middle of the storage shed, on top of all that prickly hay, like in one of those steamy novels your mother would pretend she didn’t keep under the bedroom mattress. But no, he was too much of a gentleman to do so when you were still in the middle of a conversation.

“Well, maybe because you are.” He finally said, his hand traveling back to your waist and, in a sudden and rather possessive manner, bringing your body closer to his, causing an excited whimper to escape your lips. “His princess.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, the words tickling your ears and making you feel as giddy as you remembered your teenage years to be. And like so, you let yourself melt into his embrace, head resting on his chest, and his lullaby heartbeat tempting you to tell him.

About the cabin in the woods.

Who knows? Maybe he knew of a vacant one, where you could move together. Maybe he had also been thinking about it lately, about moving somewhere quiet and remote. Somewhere where the title of ‘13th Commander of the Survey Corps’ didn’t mean anything. Somewhere where he could wake up after eight on rainy Sundays, grab that old history book, or that blue one with the golden title he was always re-reading, a warm cup of something, and lose himself until lunchtime. Somewhere where he could settle down. With you. The white ceremony in the garden, and maybe later, not too long after that, the very same garden becoming the playground where blonde-haired, blue-eyed toddl-

“Would you be interested in visiting the capital next weekend?” He asked, the sudden question pulling you back to the present moment, and making you sit straight so you could come eye to eye with him. He didn’t have any scheduled meetings in Mitras until the end of next month. “My good friend Hansel will be celebrating his Golden Birthday and he asked me to join.”

You knew he wasn’t particularly keen on those types of gatherings, not only that but, with so much on his plate, he didn’t have the disposition nor the freedom to attend that sort of event. So you figured Lord Koch must be a truly remarkable friend for him to consider attending.

“When he came to deliver the horses last week, he also extended his invitation. Admittedly, I did find it odd at first, that he came all the way down here instead of sending his nephews or assistants like he always does.” He explained, his warm fingertips absentmindedly drawing patterns on the small of your back.

Having grown up listening to your father’s stories about Lord Koch, and never really meeting him formally until recently, you had formed your very own ideas about the man. He seemed to be one of those people who would gladly sell their soul if it meant sorcery could multiply them. One of those folks who wished they could, and since they had money… always could, be a part of everything, everywhere, at the same time, and multiple times. Cutting the ribbon at the latest museum inauguration in the morning, accepting the community leader award at his local temple before noon, participating in both a regional chess tournament and a charity auction by four in the afternoon, feeding the poor in the underground cities at six, attending his grandkid’s academy play before speaking at the annual gala for his family foundation, and then finally getting to take his wife on that lavish trip they planned for commemorating their over-thirty years of marriage. Yes, it made sense he never came down here.

“I was told the bearer of the invitation could bring a companion.” His husky, velvety voice gently brought you back to the shed. Once again, you had gotten lost in your own head. It was particularly easy to do so these days.

“Is that so?” You teased, the butterflies in your stomach already flapping their colorful wings, as your heartbeat began to mirror those of a hummingbird. But he would never be able to tell, if the only thing he had to go by was the manual dexterity your fingers displayed as they straightened up the collar of his shirt. “Are you going to invite Captain Levi? I’m sure everyone at the reception would be delighted to meet Humanity’s Strongest.”

“They most certainly would, but Levi would be less than thrilled.” He smiled innocently, clearly playing along with you. “Not to mention the unfortunate remark I found at the bottom of the invitation, which only acts as yet another deterrent to Levi’s participation: ‘feasting and dancing to follow, the right company is advised.’” He looked you in the eyes, a serious expression suddenly taking over his previously soft, amused features. “I’m afraid Levi doesn’t enjoy dancing.”

You let out a hearty laugh that your mother would have undoubtedly found inappropriate, tickled by both the words as well as the disappointed tone he had chosen for delivering them. And he just looked at you the whole time, letting your laughter fill the room, allowing your joy to warm up the frigid evening air. A sweet smile on his lips as you struggled to regain your composure; once again making you feel like the most absorbing of art works, and making it even harder to forget about your forest fantasy.

“That’s why I’m asking my princess.” He said a little later when your laughter faded down. “For the pleasure of her company.”

You weren’t sure he could hear the champagne popping, the frenzied flutter of the butterflies, or the fireworks show he had started inside you; but you knew, because of the way your ears started burning, that he could definitely see the flustered pinks that had taken over your face, as well as the beaming smile you were trying to hide. Yes, you had made love a couple times already, his lips had spent entire nights on yours, his fingers had explored and conquered places no one else’s had before, he had met you at times of the night where friends, and let alone bosses, never do. But this… this was the first time he had straight up asked you to go somewhere together. Not only that, but in the place that husbands usually reserve for their wives. So all things considered, you couldn’t blame your lungs for their sudden inability to hold air, nor your imagination for all the crazy detours it started to take.

“What does she say?” He asked softly, a small, irresistible smile on his equally tantalizing lips as he pointlessly re-tucked an already perfectly tucked strand of hair behind your ear.

“Hmm.” You raised a finger to your chin and pursed your lips, pretending to think. As if there was something to even think about in the first place.

You weren’t too keen on that type of social gathering yourself, or any type for that matter, but you had endured your fair share of frivolous socializing and marble ballroom occasions during your teenage years, for no reason other than your mother telling you to attend. So, why wouldn’t you do it one more time? This time for him, and for the rare opportunity to see him gift-wrapped in something other than his uniform, for the chance to feast on the sinful way the fabric would most definitely cling to his firm biceps, his rock-solid chest, that delicious ass and the matching pair of perfectly designed thighs that came with it. And when your mind began to explore the possibility of seeing his hair slicked back again, a pulsating warmth started radiating from between your legs

“I think you will encounter no difficulties at the party, Mr. Commander.” You said, your eyes watching your fingers as they fiddled with the emerald oval in his shirt. “Bet there will be lots of fair ladies eagerly waiting for you to extend your hand and lead them into the dance floor.” Your lips curved slightly, enjoying the feeling of his hard muscles under your hands as you glided them down his broad chest. “I don’t know. Maybe even some old lover, trying to make up for lost time.”

“I don’t consider any of those to be likely scenarios.”

“Really? No past lovers wishing to pick up the threads? I don’t believe that.” You smiled, feeling his eyes on you, but choosing to keep yours on the patterns your fingertips were now drawing on his chest. “Something tells me you were quite the charmer when you were a cadet.” You said, finally looking up to meet his eyes before comfortably wrapping your arms around his neck. “Tell me, did you break a lot of hearts back in training camp?”

“Quite the opposite actually.” He replied, something about his demeanor, probably the contrived innocence you found in his eyes, making you question the veracity of his answer.

“So, you’re telling me that all those skills are the result of sheer talent, and that assiduous practice wasn’t a factor at all?” You asked, unable to believe that all the skill he displayed in bed, all the delicious things he did to you, and all the delightful ways he made your body feel, all that came from natural talent alone.

“It’s a long story.” He answered, his hand going back to the spot he liked, at the small of your back.

“I have time.” You said, despite the logbook and the fat pile of papers beside you suggesting the complete opposite. “You can tell me about it now, or…” Your smile mirrored the one that suddenly took over his features, telling you that he already knew what your words would be. “You can tell me next weekend, when you walk me home.”

His eyes traveled back and forth between yours and your lips, reminding you of both your late-night chocolate cravings and a wolf stalking an innocent prey. And then, reluctantly letting your arms drop from their comfortable position around his neck, you added:

“Oh, my bad. How pretentious of me to assume without asking first. Would you please be so kind as to walk me home this time too, Commander Smith?” You asked, already knowing the answer, but pretending to wait for it, as your fingers fiddled with the strings of his bolo tie.

“Even if you lived on the other side of town.” He replied, his rich, irresistible voice making you think of crackling campfires under vast, starry skies.

“Really? I heard Lord Koch’s Mitras estate is in the very outskirts of town.” You teased, playfulness making your lips curve into a mischievous grin.

“I’d walk you home even if it was in Wall Maria itself.”

“Wow, that’s very far to go for someone, Mr. Commander. Especially when that someone is just your assistant.”

He shook his head lightly before replying. “I’d think of it as another felicitous opportunity to spend time with her, which would be heaven-sent indeed, considering I just miss her all the time.” He confessed, bringing your body closer to his, and making the tips of your noses touch. “Even now.”

And you had to fight the overpowering urge to kiss those lips, the urge to behave in very unladylike manners and ask him, beg him, to do equally indecorous things to you with those beautiful, perfectly round, sinfully soft lips that were smiling so prettily at you right now.

“Is that so?” You smirked, wrapping your legs around his waist and trapping him between your thighs. “There, now you can’t escape her.”

“Wasn’t trying to.” He whispered, his voice so deep and so smoky it made you think of the fireplace back at the castle, not the one in your office however, but the one in his room. In front of his warm, soft, tempting bed. As familiar and homelike as the one in your very own room back in Mitras.

And you stole a peck from his smiling lips, before happily returning your arms to their favorite position around his neck, where your fingers started playing with the short hairs on his nape.

You weren’t the biggest admirer of Leon’s uncle. Not that he had done anything bad to you. In fact, you had barely interacted with the man. Admittedly, you did remember cursing his name on an occasion or two, but that had been so long ago. So long you had almost entirely forgotten about it.

You started to reminisce, discovering your own reflection in the beautiful sapphires now staring back at you.

During your academy days, perhaps? When you were still living back home, and your father used to come back late every Thursday. Because Thursdays were his anticipated ‘chess nights’ with Lord Koch, which you had always suspected to be just a façade for their conspiracy theory club. You see, there was only one thing, other than your mother’s green tomato pie, that would make your father’s eyes sparkle the way they did on Thursday nights, and that was royal conspiracy theories.

He believed King Fritz was just an impostor, a very apathetic an alcoholic one, a puppet king placed on the throne by the council for some questionable reason, for the sake of some secret agenda they were trying to hide from the common folks. And that very reason, and not chess, was what his little club sat down to discuss every Thursday. There was no way your father would enjoy a chess club, because if there were two things everyone knew about him was that, one, he hated losing, and two, he never won at chess.

But that’s besides the point. You remember growing to dislike Lord Koch over the years because he used to keep your father for far too long at those so-called ‘chess meetings’, which usually translated in your stomach growling for hours until he finally decided to come home, because your mother always insisted that ‘eating together as a family’ was important, and that the loss of such tradition was slowly leading to the demise of society. But those days were long gone and forgotten, and you liked to think you weren’t good at keeping score or holding grudges against random people.

So no, it definitely wasn’t that. The disfavor you, inadvertently, still regarded Lord Koch with was more irrational than anything else, similar to when you would find a classmate, either from academy or training camp, insufferably annoying but could never give a valid reason why. Maybe it was because Lord Koch always wanted to be a part of everything. Maybe it was because everyone seemed to be obsessed with him and you didn’t understand why. Or maybe it was because he had happened to show up then, when the Commander and you were going through difficult times. Yes, maybe it was that. Maybe it was your brain unknowingly associating him with the bad memories from that day: the Commander coming back after spending the whole day riding out in the field with him, asking you if there was something between you and Leon. Why would he even-

“What is it?” He suddenly asked, bringing you back to the dark shed, making you realize that night had fallen over you, and that the moonlight sparkled way more prettily on his eyes than it ever did on the surface of the water. “You’re so quiet.”

“Nothing.” You replied, the corners of your lips instantly lifting at the sound of his voice. “I was just thinking about how much my father sucks at chess, about the King’s seemingly worsening alcohol problems, about how nicely the moonlight complements your features, and about my dresses and which one would be the easiest for you to take off me.”

“Wow.” He blinked a couple times as if trying to understand how were all those things related to each other. “That’s- that’s a very interesting, very peculiar association of ideas. Each one more thought-provoking than the other. Especially the last one.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled.

“Erwin.”

“Mhm?”

You weren’t sure if this was the moment to talk about it, but you found the loving way his eyes were studying your features, as well as the soothing thumb he was running across your cheek rather encouraging. So, you decided to go ahead.

“Did-” You took a deep breath. “Did Lord Koch tell you something back then?”

He didn’t respond and you took his silence as an indication that you could ask more.

“Did he mention anything that made you think there was something between his neph-”

“That doesn’t matter.” He hushed you just like he had back then, when you had tried to ask about the same thing. “All that matters to me is what we have.” He took your hand and brought it to his lips. “Right now.” His eyes were crystal clear, and what you saw in them was exactly what he was telling you. “Whatever happened yesterday, whatever happens tomorrow…all that matters to me is that we had today.” He kissed your knuckles, letting the pleasant warmth of his lips linger on your skin, closing his eyes tightly as if trying to carve the moment into his memory. “And I will always remember it.”

“Me too.” You said, nostalgia suddenly infusing the air of the cabin, creeping into your heart and burdening it with unexplainable melancholy.

I love you.

You confessed in your head as your fingers played with the soft, golden strands on the back of his.

Perhaps all that matters is that I love you. That I love you even if you didn’t say it yesterday and even if you don’t say it tomorrow.

You said in your thoughts as you pulled him closer.

Even if I never get to hear it back from these very lips.

You told him without words, as your lips welcomed his.

Even if they never return these words.

You surrendered without a fight as his tongue claimed what was rightfully his.

I love you just the same, Commander.

You promised him in silence, tasting in his kiss both the bitterness of the lemon and the sweetness of the honey you never forgot to add to his warm cups in the morning.

And I will always do.

Including busy mornings like today's, when it remained forgotten on his desk, still silently waiting for him in the middle of the cold, dark office.

next chapter

taglist: @mysticalnightbeliever @aliasrising @elnyrae @mchlist @apts2000 @angelaevangelion @depitaangeline @ynackerman9499 @afatalheat @pumpkin-toffee @velouria17 @gassytritis @goddessinsweats @nube55 @jeanboyjean @crazychaoticizzy @braunsbabe @erwinawesomeness @lucifers-nipple-piercing @karmabyfernando @thicc101q @shittyprofilebutfuckit @dilfenthusiast-union

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u5an5 · 1 month ago

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Of things obtained: Once Upon a Witchlight Ep. 16 | Monarch for a Day

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! Fair warning, this post contains SPOILERS. If you don't want to be spoiled, STOP READING !

Gricko

Languages: Common, Goblin, Gigant, Druidic

In possession from beginning:

Primal totems (gorilla, basilisk-esque creature; ep.1)

Alarm whistle (ep.1)

Ocarina (ep.2)

Glue dropper bottle (ep.3)

Eyedrops bottle (ep.3)

Peanut butter jar (ep.10)

6 banañas (ep.12)

-1 after giving to Gideon -1 after giving to Frost

Items acquired:

Bag of 603 gold pieces (ep.1)

Cloak of Displacement (ep.1)

Games Prize 6 - Magic Face Paint (Disguise Self 1h; ep.6)

1 ticket to Witchlight Carnival (gained due Fey Pact) 2/8 (ep.7)

Games Prize 4 - Witchlight wine (ep.7)

Games Prize 7 - Cuddly toy spider (ep. 8)

Games Prize 8 - Glove puppet wizard (Illusion 3/3; ep.8)

Games Prize 2 - Wooden wand (Prestidigitation 8/8; ep.8)

Blue ribbon "I dropped a beat on the Carnival street" (ep.8)

5x fridge magnets (ep.12)

Rocky Talkie (ep.14)

Mouse Harness (ep.15)

Clothes:

Really small Tentacle Chad T-shirt (ep.3)

Pixie wings (ep.10)

Wedding Outfit: Black pinstriped tuxedo with a grey leopard print bowtie (without shoes) with a petunia in the chest pocket (I'm assuming they've changed somewhere during ride)

Monarch Crown 2/3

Golden band that looks like oak, topped with about 50 life-like mechanical monarch butterflies and it's made from bolts of Sun itself. Once placed upon Monarchs head it grants the wearer the Charm of The Monarch Charm of The Monarch: You can sprout a pair of beautiful butterfly wings. As long as you have wings you gain a flying speed equal to your walking speed and you gain +5 on all Charisma based ability checks. These effects last for 1 hour. After you use this Charm 3 times, it vanishes from you.

Pacts/contracts:

No ticket - after giving away his ticket to Gideon, due to The Rule of Reciprocity, his most prized possession (Hootsie) was taken away from him by Sowpig (ep.5)

Fey Pact 4 - You can no longer talk about your favorite thing; Interpreted as you don't remember (Hootsie). Once the Witchlight Monarch is crowned, all pacts made fade then, and only then. (ep.7, as of 2:08:40 it's no longer active)

With Mr Light - If Gricko was to stop talking and leave immediately he would make sure to get Snail Number Two to Gricko; Gricko did nt and he might've been just humoring him to get rid of him faster

Fear: Groblin (2D beings in general; ep.12)

Hootsie (kidnapped by Sowpig, ep.5; currently in close proximity to a punctured hot-air balloon)

Status: ??? Hurt in some way

Gideon

In possession from beginning:

Engineered manacles (ep.5)

Cigar (ep.10)

Really tiny notebook (ep.11)

Really tiny spectacle (ep.11)

Items acquired:

3 letters from Mr. Roslov (ep.1)

x5 Magical Invisibility Cupcakes (ep.3)

162 gold pieces (ep.7)

Games Prize 2 - Wooden wand (Prestidigitation 8/8; ep.6)

1 ticket to Witchlight Carnival (gained due Fey Pact) 3/8 (ep.7)

Games Prize 7 - Cuddly toy spider (ep.7)

Letter from Mrs Witch & Light (ep.8)

Games Prize 7 - Cuddly toy spider x2 (ep.8)

Games Prize 3 - Pixie dust (ep.8)

Games Prize 2 - Wooden wand (Prestidigitation 8/8; ep.6)

Blue ribbon (ep.8)

Forlarrens Remorse [dagger] (ep.15)

1 banaña

Clothes:

Baby pink Cake Chad T-shirt at least five sizes too small (ep.3)

Flower crown (ep.7; was part of Pact)

Pixie wings (ep.10)

Wedding Outfit: Black pinstriped tuxedo with ombre (white-yellow-orange-red) accents with a fireblossom in the chest pocket (I'm assuming they've changed somewhere during ride)

Monarch Crown 3/3

Pacts/contracts:

Fey Pact 2 - Was given a flower crown. You must wear this flower crown, but you have to water it every hour and you can't take it off. Once the Witchlight Monarch is crowned, all pacts made fade then, and only then. (ep.7, as of 2:10:10 it's no longer active)

Marriage - He has to get married to Taxie after asking her to marry him in exchange for a ticket for Frost. Additionally, Frost, as show of gratefulness, will do at least one nice thing for him each day and fulfill one bigger favour once every two weeks. (ep.14)

Due to him and all betrothed signing Kremy's contract he became a sole husband to all three Bixie, Zaxie and Taxie and due some additional fine print he had to marry Kremy too (ep.15)

(In next 7 days, if he's 30 feet or less from people he married he gets one +2AC for each of them)

Clown kill manslaughter count:

Chuckles the Clown - after being punched in body laughed himself to death (supposedly he was already dead by this time due crippling alcoholism; before the campaign)

Klutzy the Clown - got hit by Gideon throwing Impossibal at incredible speeds directly into his face. The actual supposed cause of death was deadly allergy to unspecified ingredient/s in this processed not-meat sludge (ep.6)

Bumbo the Clown - Tripped and fallen directly onto Gideon's sword hand puppet, completely running him through. Was allergic to felt, he hit the ground and he died. (ep.9)

Thaco the Clown - Was deadly allergic to peanuts and ate an unlabeled peanut butter pie that Gideon chose for his wedding. It took over 1 hour for anyone to notice (ep.15)

Kremy

Languages: Common, Draconic

In possession from beginning:

Tophat

Skull Cane

2 gold pieces (ep.1)

at least 2 handkerchiefs (ep.3)

Compact mirror (ep.4)

Frying pan (ep.4)

Knife (ep.4)

Bacon grease (ep.8)

Cigarettes (ep.10)

Items acquired:

Satchel with Carnival map and Three Rules of Feywild (ep.2)

Games Prize 3 - packet of pixie dust

Stuffed Almiraj plushie from Gideon (Minor Illusion 3/day)

1 ticket to Witchlight Carnival (gained due Fey Pact) 2/8

45 gold pieces

Games Prize 4 5 - A replica unicorn horn filled with candy (ep.7)

Games Prize 5 - A replica unicorn horn filled with candy (ep.8)

Bright orange ribbon "consolation prize" from Torbek (ep.8)

Pinecone Pug plushie x2? (ep.12)

Pinecone Pug backpack (ep.12)

Gricko's teeth (ep.12)

Frost's fingernails (ep.12)

x3 Toffie (ep.13)

Fist sized cup made from snail shell (ep.14)

Great Fiddle (ep.15)

Clothes:

A replica unicorn horn formerly filled with candy strapped to his forehead (ep.7)

Pixie wings (ep.10)

Wedding Outfit: Regular outfit with a black dahlia in your chest pocket (I'm assuming they've changed somewhere during ride)

Monarch Crown 3/3

Pacts/contracts:

Due possessing unspecified knowledge he didn't pay for when he "abandoned his station" has to deliver 100,000 gold pieces to Mr. Garou by the end of the month (in next 19 days) as recompensation. If he's no longer able to do so by dying, the rest of the Krew is obligated to pay it (ep.1)

Fey Pact 8: You must declare your love for unicorns at every opportunity. Once the Witchlight Monarch is crowned, all pacts made fade then, and only then (ep.2, as of 2:10:10 it's no longer active)

Fey Pact 1: You cannot tell a lie knowingly. Once the Witchlight Monarch is crowned, all pacts made fade then, and only then. (ep.8, as of 2:10:10 it's no longer active)

Marriage -Due making his contract with his betrothed he was able to transfer it onto Gideon and also marry him himself. (ep.15)

(In next 7 days, if he's 30 feet or less from people he married he gets one +2AC for each of them)

Fear: Remy Garou and his debt to him (ep.12)

Frost

Languages: Common, Celestial, Elvish

In possession from beginning:

Backpack (ep.2)

Glue (totally not related to horses; ep.3)

Tambourine (ep.3)

Water skin (ep.3)

Small dagger (ep.4)

Peanut butter jar (ep.10)

Peanut M&M's (ep.11)

Ball of yarn (ep.11)

Buttons (ep.13)

Items acquired:

Letter to Zybilna by Madrik Roslov (ep.1)

Bag of Beans (ep.1)

1 gold piece

Morning Frost license plate (ep.12)

Games Prize 3 - Pack of pixie dust (ep.12)

Sky blue T-shirt three sizes too small with "Bird Chad" on it (ep.12)

1 ticket to Witchlight Carnival (gained due Pixie Pact) 0/8 (ep.14; apparently despite not using it since he got it he had only two punches left??)

Teapot & pack of Scatterleaf tea (ep.14)

Killmoulis Spectacles (ep.15)

Wand of the Pact Breaker 3/3 (ep.15)

1 banaña

Clothes:

Pixie wings (ep.10)

Wedding Outfit: Black pinstriped tuxedo with a green tie with bits of ivy and baby's breath in chest pocket. (I'm assuming they've changed somewhere during ride)

Monarch Crown 3/3

Pacts/contracts:

Pixie Ticket Pact: In exchange for Gideon marrying Taxie to get him his ticket, he will do at least one nice thing for Gideon each day and one bigger favour once every two weeks; not as much pact as bros wanting to be fair (ep.14)

Fear: Being alone, being the last one standing and going insane, being left out (ep.12)

. .

Krew (The Party)

In possession from beginning:

2 gold pieces (ep.1)

Items acquired:

5 gold pieces (ep.2; for street-performing)

Wand of the Pact Breaker 3/3 (ep.15)

Pacts/contracts:

With Madrik Roslov: In exchange for checking if Zybilna is alright, and if true, giving her the letter he wrote, Party will get what is left from his possessions once he passes away (ep.1)

With Diana Cloppington: In exchange for riddle concerning Prismeer, with knowledge and information she was able to store about current state of it in it, Party promises to, at least, attempt to help her return to human and be reunited with Sir Cloppington; Not really Fey Pact but on their rules (ep.2)

With Mrs Witch & Light #2: In exchange for catching Kenku before crowning of Witchlight Monarch they'll be granted some answers to the questions they have about Carnival and Zybilna; not promise but proposal (ep.9; voided)

With Mrs Witch & Light #3: In exchange for returning The Pocketwatch they'll be shown entrance to Prismeer and how to use it and should they return whole and on their own volition after 'taking care' of Hags, they'll be always welcome and there won't be any revenge on Mr Witch and Mr Light's part (completed)

With Palasha & Candlefoot: In exchange for bringing Candelfoots voice back they pledged allegiance with Krew and promised to come and help them if they ever need them; not as much pact as keeping true to Third Rule (ep.13)

Altered states:

Twist of Fate curses:

(Gideon) 78 68 100? - You cannot stop sneezing, yawning or burping [prev. ep - 11:07]

(Kremy) 70 33 - You are in love with Gideon (I know) [prev. ep - 11:07]

-You're haunted by a ghost of the last person you've killed (Francois the Bullywug) [prev. ep - 11:07]

(Gricko) 95 - Your ears become gigantic [prev. ep - 11:07]

-You believe that you are the leader of a great kingdom. You've been ruling for 10 years and you're afraid it will fall to ruin (King Shmebulock) [prev. ep - 11:07]

16 - Your childhood invisible friend appears to you but no one else can see it [1:17:40 - 1:30:00]

85 39 - Your fingernails begin to tell you short stories [1:18:17 - 1:30:00]

(Frost) 5 - You become a spring eladrin [prev. ep - 11:07]

-You believe you're worlds greatest bard [prev. ep - 11:07]

(Gideon) 75 - You must consistently give yourself a peptalk [1:21:50 - 1:30:00]

32 50 - You lose two letters of your name (Geon) [1:22:50 - 1:30:00]

Twist of Dread curses (by DM):

(Frost) 15 50 - You immediately die and reincarnate as a black cat [32:00 - 1:02:54]

12 - You cannot tell the truth. You love lying. [48:05 - 1:02:54]

(Gricko) 4 - You're incredibly paranoid and believe everyone is out to get you [46:49 - 1:02:54]

(Gideon) 11 - You all swap bodies. (Gricko in Frost's body, Gideon in Gricko's body, Frost in Kremy's and Kremy in Gideon's) [50:15 - 1:02:54]

Would you kindly...

Pixie chariots bets (ep.5):

(Frost) - 1 gold piece on Red

(Gricko) - 40 electrum pieces/20 gold pieces on Blue

(Gideon & Kremy) - ?? on Red

Red wins. The Party gets ?? (they didn't got to collect the prize)

Snail race:

King Shmebulock on Snail nr 2 (blue) won ?? (they haven't gotten to it)

Drag show:

(Kremy) as Stilleta Silhouette did lipsync to 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton

(Gideon) as Phoe-Phoe Nix did lipsync/singing to Ring of Fire by Jonny Cash

(Gricko) as Trollina singing original rendition of If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher

(Frost) as Twinkerbell singing in-universe original song "Claws Fur Robe Heels" that's rewrite of Nails Hair Hips Heals by Todrick Hall

the money was NOT summed up next session (or this one. or at all, really)

To-do list:

Get the 100,00 gold pieces by the end of the month (ep.1)

Find out why Madrik Roslovs patron, Zybilna, stopped answering his calls for 15 years so he can die in peace, knowing her fate (ep.1)

Get to the Witchlight Carnival before it ends and find the only available entrance to Prismeer, Zybilnas domain (ep.1; completed)

Try to become Witchlight Monarch (ep.1; completed)

Find out who was the man that cut off Lexi Pott's wings, why he did that and what happened with them (ep.1)

Find a way to reunite Diana Cloppington with her with her horse, Sir Cloppington, and return them to their previous forms (ep.2)

Win Cake Eating contest (ep.3; completed)

Find a way to return Candlefoots voice (ep.4; completed)

Find some clothes for Torbek (ep.6; completed)

Keep Torbek occupied for an hour when Carnival Hands find manacles for him and take him away for his punishment (ep.8; completed)

Catch the Kenku and bring her to Mr Witch & Mr Light for her punishment in exchange for some answers (ep.9; not realised)

Get ahold of Mr Witch's Pocketwatch or Mr Light's Weathervane and keep it hostage to get the true answers to what they seek (ep.9; completed)

Find Hootsie

Time

3rd day of Campaign, just before the Coronation - after Coronation

9th of the month (19 days until The Debt deadline)

1st day in Feywild, Prismeer

Happiness Meter

+4 (MAX) - Candlefoot and Palasha are finally reunited (ep.14)

Random Info

Man whose name Lexi Pott's was unable to say was going to "wake her" and she was very scared for Party meeting him. When they mentioned name Zybilna, she said they "already were too deep" (ep.1)

After Lexi Pott died, Party was surrounded by Fairy Ring made up from mushrooms (ep.1)

Tasha and Iggwilv The Witch Queen are the same person (ep.4)

Kenku that has been terrorizing the Carnival is a Warlock and her patron is Zybilna (ep.5)

Chuckles said Gideon will join clowns in Hell and become Eighth Clown Lord of Crazy Eights (ep.7)

Torbek's poem is based on Immortality by Clare Harner (ep.8)

Burly the bugbear has a twin, Hurly, that went missing (ep.9)

Mr Witch and Mr Light got into pact for them to be able to run the Witchlight Carnival in exchange for things it wants (people breaking rules) to Hourglass Coven (ep.11)

The original owner of Witchlight Carnival was an archfey (ep.11)

Fey Pacts leave magical aura around those which they bind that are visible to fae (ep.11)

Whatever is stollen from Carnival always finds its way into Prismeer

The only people from Carnival who go outside its bounds are Witchlight Hands. All other creatures stay inside.

According to Mr Light, Party is affected by Fae Magic way more than anyone he've ever seen in his life for some reason

Mr Witch's last words were "Mind the rule of three - future, present, past" and Mr Light's were "Find the alicorn and free the dormant Queen at last"

Total money: no more than 817 gold pieces (idk how much Kremy and Gideon bet)

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#edit: if you want to read in proper order please just wait to about time i normaly post #all posts should be out by then #follow #Of things obtained: Once Upon a Witchlight #for future updates #do you feel the pain yet?#of remembering more than they do?#of keeping better track of their items that they do?#then prepare cause it only gets worse #you will WISH that the only thing they forgot about was money #legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #ouaw #dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #podcast #fun fact: displacer beast was actualy relevant #and that was the witchlight carnival arc!

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onboardsorasora · 1 year ago

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Haven't had a whole lot of time to write lately, but I really wanted to hammer out a little update on these two idiots (affectionate). Moar Tennis AU!

Part 1 | Part 11 | Part 13

Part 12! - Figured a change in POV would be fun for this

Blake sighed and looked despondently over to an equally over it Mike. At least he had a partner in this chaos. Because clearly he was put here on this earth in this moment to suffer.

Another breathless giggle punctuated the air and Blake watched as two grown men, two world class athletes at the top of their game in their respective sport giggle at dick jokes on a tennis court.

“You’re kidding me, that wasn’t even funny.” Blake complained, reaching an exasperated arm out to point out the problem just in case Micheal forgot or wasn’t paying attention. The roll of his eyes was all Blake needed.

The problems in question were on their knees in the service box, giggling so hard that they couldn’t breathe. To be fair, Blake expected this from Daniel. Daniel could hear the wind blow differently and start a chortle, sometimes (only sometimes) Blake wondered what went on between those ears. The mop of curls and bright smile disguised that the current world number one only had two modes; tennis and….whatever the fuck this was.

When they met Max, he seemed like a very straightforward fellow. Serious mostly, but clearly genial when he was ready. Unfortunately, he hadn’t anticipated that Max was truly the same brand of stupid. None of them did really.

Scotty didn’t warn them, Mark didn’t warn them. Hell, Christian could have said something. But no… everyone said them getting together was a good thing and everyone noticed how happy they both were. Apparently Max was a lot more agreeable on the track some days, and less snappish with media on others. And that was great, truly it was. Honestly, Blake was happy for them.

But did no one care that for that to be a thing and a benefit, Blake had to put up with……..this?!

Micheal looked over unhelpfully, they watched from the covered benches, figuring it was best to just let them tire themselves out like toddlers. It was summer break for Formula 1, and tennis also had a bit of a break going as well. But Wimbledon was around the corner, so there wasn’t that much time to fuck around.

But Max had invited them all on vacation to a resort off the coast of Italy, as both a way to congratulate Daniel and his team for Daniel winning Roland Garros, taking home the whole thing. And also as a way for them to all relax a bit before everything started up again.

Daniel had been all too happy to flex his rudimentary Italian muscles. Blake had drank that first night to forget the heated look in Max’s eyes at hearing his boyfriend hold a conversation with an older lady in a different language. Apparently, that did it for him, who knew.

They spent the first two days chilling and partying and generally having a great time. That ultimately led them here, at the tennis court of the resort because dumb and dumber thought it was a great idea that Daniel teach Max how to play tennis. There wasn’t much teaching or tennis happening, between the groping and giggling. It was like watching two teenagers poorly try to hide that they were sexually aware.

They haven’t even started drinking for the day yet and Blake felt like he already needed several shots. He wasn’t a babysitter damnit.

“What do you want me to do again?” Max called across the court, they seemed to be controlling themselves again.

“Just stand there and when I do this, you try to hit it back.” Daniel called back, mimicking a serve.

Max nodded, face focused. “Got it!”

They were quiet for a moment while Daniel presumably tried to regulate his serve to not actually kill or hurt Max when

“My name’s Jeff!” Max called out in a weird accent. The noise that Daniel released could only be constituted as a squawk, before he crumpled to the ground in tears. Again.

“The dick cannot be that good.” Michael muttered, which made Blake snort. He was massaging the bridge of his nose, not that it helped in any way, but it was useful to keep him from going over and strangling his friend slash client.

He cannot possibly suffer through any more of this. He wasn’t getting paid enough to. He wasn’t a babysitter, damnit!

“Hola todos!” Daniel screeched, which sent Max into another tizzy.

Michael and Blake released twin sighs of exasperation. They were totally babysitters because these grown ass men were children.

#maxiel #max/daniel #tennis player!dan #tennis!dan #tennis au #mv33 #dr3 #333 #3303

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tmwcs · 1 year ago

Text

HHP Chapter 18 - MDNI18+

READ NOTES!

Okay so i know i say this all the time...but truly, this one is my favorite chapter....you'll see why. please excuse it not being proofread, we're visiting some family and friends so that's my excuse this time lol....

Text in purple are song lyrics. IDK why but every time i highlight song lyrics sometimes the color doesn't highlight the entire verbiage, just ignore that.

Warnings: Sensual smut, descriptive, unprotected sex, angst, fighting, arguing, controlling behavior, imbalance of power in a relationship, restricting freedom (towards reader), obsessive/controlling/possessive behavior (very yandere...ofc it's heethan).

So it is a REQUIREMENT that you read the smau "Netflix and Chill" (all three parts) before reading this. It will be better if you read the entire MGR arc, but if you dont feel like reading the whole thing, at least read the smau and the last few chapters of MGR (Chapter 9-12) bc this is heavily referenced with a timeline of events that occurred in those chapters...otherwise it's going to just confuse you. I'm linking the smau and the masterlist for MGR below, i would suggest reading the chapters first and then reading the smau.

MGR MASTERLIST <- Click

“Why can’t you just see from my perspective once in a while??”

“Don’t I?...why can’t you see mine? I care and love you too much…I’m the only one that loves you, and I’m the only one that will protect and take care of you.”

“But I’ll be with the others-“

“That’s enough.”

“No!”

Back and forth, you both had bickered nonstop. An argument caused by the event of you informing Heeseung that you wanted to join the girls on a road trip, but Heeseung’s schedule was too booked for him to attend, therefore, you weren’t able to go…at least he wouldn’t allow you to.

“You do realize that this is not typical human behavior in a relationship right?” you snarked out with your arms crossed, glaring at him with slightly glossed eyes as you reached a level of frustration from feeling restricted…like a child.

“I never said it was.” He responded back calmly….to calm.

“You can’t treat me this way! Its not fair Heeseung.”

“I never said I played fair either…” standing before you, he tilts his head back just slightly to peek his eyes from the shadow of his cap, opening them wide as he glares down at you from a staggering height. His iris shrinks up the wider he opens them. You couldn’t deny it, it terrified you, especially seeing that his Ethan side wasn’t present at all, yet he was already so mad….how would it have been if his aggressive side did come through?

Shaking your head in defeat, you turn around and walk over to the window and tried to compose yourself as you took deep breaths. Placing your hands on your waist, you tilt your head back to look up at the ceiling as you count silent numbers in your head.

‘1…..2…..3……4…..’

Feeling his hands reach around your waist, cupping your ribcage, he leans into your ear to gently whisper and kiss it. But you were far from wanting to feel him let alone seeing him.

“Stop!” you snapped as you peel his hands off.

“Don’t touch me right now, I want to be left alone.”

Snarking out a smirk out of amusement and irritation, he looks at the doorway before looking at you.

“You really don’t get it, do you? after all this time you treat the love I have for you as some sort of joke…” he responds.

“I do not! I just think you go overboard. It isn’t normal!” you spoke out, and in all honestly, you spoke out of anger. Generally, you didn’t mind Heeseung’s mannerism when it came to his level of obsession and possession over you, in fact, a lot of the time, you loved it. But at this moment, you were too angry to remind yourself of how much you deeply craved his unhealthy level of possessiveness over you.

“That’s what I mean…..i never said it was normal…in fact….it’s insane…I’M….insane….i’m insanely in love with you and I never claimed to be a man who loves you in any other aspect…yet you keep comparing my love for you to other people’s definition of love….it pisses me off.” His voice remained calm, yet you could tell by the influctuation of his tone, that he was getting quite mad towards your disregard of his love for you.

“I’ve loved other women in that normal aspect…..I’ve loved them in the way that you’re comparing me to right now…..and honestly, they deserved it. Because the type of love I have for you is unlike anything I’ve felt or displayed towards anyone….and here you are wanting something different. Why can’t you be more considerate and just accept it? Why can’t you maybe fucking return it back once in a while or show some type of love that goes beyond ‘normal’?”

His words hit you deeply. Snapping your frame around to face him, you glared at him as you spoke out in high tempo, with a level of anger that you hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“What are you talking about? I love you! I’ve always loved you!” you lashed out, restricting the volume of your voice from getting too loud, yet it was indeed rising.

“Nah y/n…..you only love when I was there for you…when I was there holding your hand and comforting you because of Samuel and that stupid email he sent. I’m talking about real love…something you don’t know nothing about…you have any idea how it feels to look at something and get a feeling that they are beyond your reach? Yet you know that they are yours…that they belong to you? You have any idea what it feels like to love someone from a distance and watch them love someone else? Hmm? Do you?...I’m willing to bet you don’t…”

He spoke out with a slight side smirk….acting as if he knew the answers in regards to love. Your heart sank….you knew it wasn’t entirely his fault..yet….

“Are you kidding me? Heeseung, you obviously have no idea what you’re talking about.” You flared your hands as they dropped back down in minor defeat as you nearly began to sob in full.

“How could he say that to me?.....Does he truly not know?.....”

Smirking at you once more, all at the sight of you with the tears beginning to stream down your face, his cold and heartless words came out once more.

“You don’t…..you don’t know what it was like to watch you….dedicate yourself to someone else…being committed…loving them and cherishing them….even though they didn’t return any of it…..yet you still were so tenacious with your love for them….and I had to watch it all…..” shifting his gaze to the window behind you, then right back into your eyes, he chuckles with a closed mouth.

“Maybe you do know of the love I’m talking about….now that I just broke it down….you displayed that love towards Samuel…..didn’t you?”

Your mouth slowly gasps open in despair.

“But you never did it for me…..only until he came out with the truth and betrayed you…..and when I took the opportunity to get you for myself…that’s when you decided to return the love I have for you. I’m happy….but I’ll never forget that pain of wondering how to get you……coming up with ways and thoughts to sabatoge your relationship with him…..coming up with ways to get you for myself….i planned…I coordinated….fortunately I didn’t have to do any of that….because it all worked out….yet you’re going to sit there and just think I’m crazy and not think about the fact that it’s all because of my desire to be with you that drives me crazy….y/n…”

You shook your head slightly out of anger….you didn’t prolong the conversation any further as you felt like nothing you could say or do would make a difference.

Turning away for the last time, you leaned against the window and stared outside, by now, the girls would have already packed and left for their trip…. without you. Even h/n was joining them.

“why…just why?.....”

Seeing that you were no longer going to lash out or come up with any other response, Heeseung merely turns and heads for the door. Softly, without turning, he starts off speaking by facing the door, before turning his head to face his side profile in your direction as he finishes his words.

“I’m going to be downstairs….so we can both cool off. Think about what I said…in the meantime, stay here.”

With that, he leaves and shuts the door behind, leaving you in the room to remain as he demanded. You knew better than to try and break his command, especially with him downstairs, but more so because in the past, every single time you had tried to walk out during a heated argument, he always caught you…sometimes even before you could reach for the door.

At least he was understanding to give you some space, yet it was always in a guarded room…his room. He never let you go out…not for a walk…not for some air….not for anything. He was too controlling and restricting….all because of his ‘love’ for you.

“Fucking bullshit…”

…………………………….

Arriving downstairs and into the kitchen, Heeseung was glad that the rest of his housemates all went out for the weekend. He hated arguing, yet hated it even more if others were overhearing it.

Pouring himself a small drink of a gentleman’s liquor, he walks back over to the living room. Staring up at the open railed corridor that led to his room, he stares at the door as he takes a sip out of his glass. Licking his lips and poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue, a calm yet pissed off expression on his face, he sits the drink down on the coffee table before laying on the sofa.

“Fucking Hell….I’ll fix her after we cool down for a bit….”

Laying down and shifting his frame to sink into the cushions, he pulls down his cap slightly and forces himself to nap.

Upstairs, you decided to do the same, seeing as there was absolutely nothing for you to really do, since your phone and his laptop were both downstairs. Taking advantage of everyone being gone since yesterday, you and Heeseung had the entire frat home to yourselves. Earlier when he was studying, you had made breakfast for you both. It was shortly after breakfast ended that the argument began, where you started to feel fed up and, mistakenly leaving your phone on the kitchen island, you walked upstairs out of haste. A moment later, he came up and found you sulking in the room as you sat on the edge of the bed with your arms crossed, your head turned away, and trying to avoid speaking to him at all costs since you were already reaching an anger pitch that was bringing the worst out of you. It all went downhill from that point on.

Laying on his bed, you shift over to your side as pieces of your hair drapes over your shoulder and cheek, while the rest grazes over the pillow in a waterfall effect. With the tear streams dried, yet still evident as they left their mark on your face, you drift off, subtly sobbing once more out of frustration, feeling hopeless and defeated.

The evening shadows of night arrived as the sky turned pitch dark. Waking up in the dark atmosphere of the living room, Heeseung gets up and stretches. Taking his glass over to the kitchen to wash it out, he sees the screen of your phone brightening up from notifications of a study group you have set for next week.

“We already spend so much time apart due to classes….how could she want to go away for the weekend….away from me? She knows better than to ask that.”

Taking your phone, he views the texts of the study group. Some of the peers were female…some were male.

“I hate that…”

Still feeling a bit distasteful from the heated argument earlier, and noticing how familiar the boys in the group text were addressing and directing their messages to you, Heeseung proceeds to go into your contacts and begins to erase all the male contacts off your phone….again.

It took you nearly two days to place all those numbers back in, thank God you have a recall roster saved in your notepad, otherwise it would have been painful to go up to everyone in class asking for their numbers. Last time, he even erased the female contacts, including H/N and the girls, all due to getting mad over the April Fools prank that they encouraged you to do.

Setting your phone back down on the countertop, he was about to walk away when another notification came in. It was from h/n sending a picture of her and the girls all arriving at the hotel.

“Wish you were here with us! Miss you!” the text read.

Scoffing, he slightly rolls his eyes.

“What the fuck-ever.”

He doesn’t deny that your friends care for you, but no one truly loves or misses you like he does. He knows that…if only you knew…if only you knew what it was like to yearn for someone so much.

Pouring himself another drink in a clean glass, he takes a sip as he browses through your phone, particularly the message between you and him. He needed to get into a better mood before confronting you again, so why not look at all the loving messages that transpired between you two?

It started to work, yet each time when he thought he was feeling better, the words he issued to you echoed in his brain. It made him think back to the moments where you weren’t his…back when you were in love with Samuel and Heesueng was continuing on his relationship with Vicky, all for the sake of using her as a means in getting closer to you.

“If only she knew…”

Perhaps it was a good idea just to leave you alone for the rest of the night, he was nowhere near a good or decent mood to talk with you. He was still so angry, and now that he was recalling his emotions before he had you, he was feeling a little emotionally frustrated. Exiting out of the chat between you and him, reaching up to click the phone screen off, something caught his eye. It was a recent text message that you had sent to yourself.

“Y/N ###”

“Huh….interesting.”

He scoffs internally as he clicked on the chat.

“Probably sent some mental notes or reminders to herself.”

He was right. All the recent and collection of texts to yourself were of reminders, notes, and scheduled group study dates that you had sent to yourself. Days, weeks, and months’ worth of them. He continues to scroll all the way up, until he reached the timeline before you two started dating, where he saw messages you sent reminding yourself to send Samuel some gifts or a text message wishing him luck on a scheduled football game at his college.

Regardless that these messages were sent way before you and he became an official pair, a couple and now, engaged, seeing the messages you sent yourself in regard to Samuel didn’t sit right with him. One by one, he begins to erase the reminders….when a particular series of messages caught his eye….noting the date and the time of each message, he pulls his own phone out and scrolls through the messages he had with you, back to the timeline that matched your self texts….. and there it was, with the date and time matching exactly with the texts you sent yourself, he finds out that the messages, were all submitted right after the discussion he had with you.

Viewing the messages all in order, he begins reading the conversation from start to finish.

It was all coming back to him...how Vicky was expressing her pity for you....because at the time, not that you weren't aware, but everyone had assumed that you were blind....they all felt sorry for you...thinking that you were in denial...that you were blindly loving a man that didn't love you back.

Not wanting you to be left alone, Vicky asked for Heeseung to check in on you. Reading the contents of her requesting message, he stumbled across a moment in time, where he had saw something within you that he has now completely forgotten, all since he had you in his life permanently....

………………….

"She did...she always had....somehow back then...I knew she was alot like me....she yearned for love...."

Continuing on, he reads the contents of the messages you and he both shared the next night...

His chest heaves, his breathing deepens when he lowers his phone and raises yours in his other hand, reading what you wrote….

“Sweet pea…tell me….what’s on your mind? “

“Hmm?”

“I know my girl, something is on our mind. Even though your mother and I just drove down here yesterday to see you for the weekend, I know when something is bothering my girl, come here, tell papa what you’re thinking about….is it about Samuel?”

“…..no…actually….Samuel and I…..I don’t know….I’ve reached out and have done all I can…but I think I lost him…..”

“And you still love him? Are you saddened by losing him?”

“No…..no not really….even though I’m still trying…I’m not in denial…I just….”

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying? What’s wrong y/n?”

“……I don’t even care if I lose Samuel…I just …I don’t know why I keep trying with him….i think it’s because…..there is a man…who I really…..i think….”

“……..do you love this man?...the one you’re talking about?”

“……………….yes………but I can’t have him….”

“why is that?”

“Because he’s my roommates boyfriend……and he’s a good man…..so he loves her dearly….although I’m not sure if she loves him back…..”

“…So you keep trying with Samuel to fill the emptiness of not having the love of the one you truly want?”

“………yes….”

“…..I see…….it’s alright y/n……everything happens for a reason…..”

“But…..does it have to hurt this bad?.....”

“It does……because it’s true love….”

“so just this once….would it be bad….would it be considered weak if I cried?......I don’t like it but…..would it be okay….to cry this one time……that wouldn’t change the fact that I’m trying to be strong?”

“no….it’s okay to cry….it’s always okay to cry……come here, come hug good ol’ pappy.”

“……I don’t want to hurt anymore…how do I make it stop?”

“You can’t…..when you truly love and yearn for someone….sometimes the only way we can relay or show them that we love them….sometimes the only way to truly love them….is from afar and through our tears……”

The weekend ended, and your parents made the 5 hour drive back to their home, leaving you to prepare for class the next morning. Doing your homework inside your room, Vicky walks in and catches your attention.

“Oh! Y/N! hey, in three weeks from now, don’t make any plans! We’re going to go to a party!”

“What party?”

“There is a newly formed frat that is throwing their welcoming party in three weeks, we’re all going, so make sure you don’t make any plans.” She smiles as she plops herself on your bed.

Chuckling, you nod.

“Okay…I’ll go.”

“Oh my gosh Y/n! You look so chic!”

“maaaaaan you are going to get some looks at this party.”

Walking with your arms looped with a fellow classmate, you and the girls all arrive at the party.

Settling in towards the back of the kitchen where the open bar was stationed, you stood off to the side as you engaged subtly in minor conversation with the girls. Vicky disappeared, and you’re certain she was with him.

Yet for a moment, you could have sworn your eyes deceived you when you saw him walking into the kitchen area, dressed casually yet somewhat fancier than his usual choice, however, his black cap remains as usual. Spotting you, he walks up and greets you as you wave and smile at him.

“Hi Ethan.”

“Y/n…..how have you been?”

“I’ve been good, how have you been doing? It’s been a while.”

Admiring you, you couldn’t see his eyes, yet he was grateful for he didn’t want you to notice how deeply he was studying your features. Reaching up with his hand, he makes a delicate closed fist and softly rests it against your cheek, using the extension of his thumb, he strokes a piece of hair that was subtly connected to the corner of your mouth. Tucking it behind another strand, he makes sure it stays in place so that he could keep admiring that face of yours….

The events of the night transpired and escalated the moment that Gabe and his friend displayed an assortment of verbal harassment towards you. Yet he was there to protect you…to save you…..to stand in between you and those terrible men…like always. The feeling rose back up again.

“……he does this…he always does this….but I can’t have him….i don’t belong to him…..”

Feeling a sense of hopelessness and the sadness of an unrequited love, you rush out. He takes notice, though him and everyone else assumed it was all due to being flushed from what you had just experienced with Gabe and his friend.

Walking back to your dorm, you received the notification that, for a moment in time, left a dent in your heart……Samuel’s email.

Making it back to your dorm, you held your sobs in until you reached your bed. Leaving your phone screen on, you fell into a symbolic state as you matched the room to reflect your emotions….all dark…with only just that little bit of light remaining…though it was barely there…..normally it was the other way around….yet….now you found yourself enveloped in the darkness that was eating you inside.

“……I want what she has so badly….but I can’t have him…..so I was willing to make it work with Samuel….i’ve tried….I’ve tried all this time…and I’ve tried so hard…..yet it was all for nothing…should I be surprised? When was the last time he contacted me? Aside from tonight with that email?.....God…I’m so desperate for the love and affection of him…that I put myself through pain and wasted affection for a man that had been lying and unfair to me for the last six months…….so now what?.....If I can’t even keep the love of someone who is unworthy……and I can’t have the love of someone who I’m more than willing to love in her place…….then who is there for me to love?.....”

Slowly, you hear the door open. Closing your eyes, you knew it was Vicky, yet you didn’t want to be approached, so you pretended to sleep. You hear her footsteps coming in closer to your bed.

“Please…Vicky…not now…..I can’t talk….just let me be alone for now….please.”

The footsteps stop right at the side of your bed. You hear her reach and grab your phone….

“Oh God…the email…..she’s going to read it….”

Seconds later, you hear the phone being placed back on your nightstand. Sitting on the edge of your bed, right beside you, you felt her hand……you smelled her scent…….you heard her breathing……

But it wasn’t her……

Opening your eyes upon recognizing the scent, the feel of his touch, and the steady faint tone in his breath, you look up and saw him…..looking at you compassionately. With a soft tone in his voice, he speaks…starting off the conversation in the night that led to the events that forever changed your life…..

“Who made you cry?”………

Placing the phones down, he leaves them in place as he starts to walk towards the stairway….

I fell by the way The reason you haven't heard from me

Just didn't want to tell you Or see me this way

Having fun with someone

With a soft hand on the rail, he trails up each step, calmly.

Circumstance, who would've guessed

Force my hand when I was homeless He just, he wouldn't understand

If you saw me Holding his hand

Breaching the door, he pauses as he stands on the other side.

I fell from your grace The reason you haven't seen me here

I just, I didn't want to tell you to your face But I left clues you couldn't refuse

Knob in his hand, he freezes for a second, before gently and quietly entering, noting the lack of sound and lighting.

Obvious, you're friends would see I knew you'd get the word eventually

There you were, soundly asleep on his bed…..and as always, you looked so damn beautiful….

I'd rather have them tell you It's just as well

The picture's gone

Walking over….stealth with soundless motion, he approaches the edge of the bed. Extending his hand out, he softly grazes his fingertips over the soft skin of your cheek. Coiling your hair around his fingers, he sits by your lying side, taking a moment to admire the face of the woman he loves….the one who unknowingly stole his heart…without even trying…

Hovering atop of you, he places his forearms on the bed, off to each side of your shifted face as he admires your side profile directly above. Resting a bit of his weight on your body, he feels you move from the sudden density that was placed on your body. Raising his hand, he moves the hair away from your cheek to full expose your profile, admiring it, he smiles softly.

Leaning in, he places a gentle and tender kiss against your cheek, trailing off to the side towards your ear before he softly breathes over your canal.

Reaching over to your breast, he pulls down the spaghetti straps of your form fitted summer dress. Placing a hand over one of your busty mounds, he caresses it while stroking his thumb over your nipple, all the while he softly licks and kisses your helix.

You moan out as you start to wake up from the slight pressure of his weight on your body, and the application of his affection on your skin.

“…hmm?...heeseung?” you softly speak out in a tiring voice.

“Shhh…come here….come here my pretty baby….”

His voice was just as soft, despite him being awake for a while now. Gently stroking his nose up and down your cheek, you shift your head to face forward towards his. You were tired and groggy, yet you were still slightly upset over the argument....until….

Propping up on his knees, he was still wearing his punk-rock attire, a zip up black hoodie that remained partially opened, paired with sporting wristbands, a pair of straight blue jeans, worn and slightly torn, a black tee displaying a rock band logo, with his black cap.

Grouping your legs together, he reaches under the hem of your mini dress and hooks his fingers under your panties, slowly and delicately sliding them off. The room was terribly dimmed with the lights being off and being nighttime, yet the glimpse of the glaring street light from across the street provided a delicate hue of illumination through the window, allowing you both to subtly make out the features of each other’s bodies and faces.

Looking up from your lying state, you watch as he gleams his eyesight from above, not at all smirking, yet he didn’t at all look angry either. He looked bewildered….as if it was the first time he saw you. With a look of extreme love and admiration, he makes direct eye contact with you with slightly wide eyes, his mouth just faintly parted open as he gulps a breath.

“Why is he looking at me that way?....Why is he doing this? Is he not mad anymore?.....”

I fell while you were away You leave a woman at home Anyone will tell you

She's gonna stray

Unsure of what was happening or why he was displaying himself as such, you gently placed your hands on his forearms, gently pushing them aside…or you tried to. He wouldn’t remove them, despite you trying to move them away. It wasn’t that you were still angry, but you weren’t in the mood to do what he was aiming to accomplish, considering that you felt he needed to….

“I’m sorry…..pretty baby……I’m sorry my girl…”

Shocked, you raised a brow and slightly widened your eyes as he softly spoke out his words. With your underwear completely off, the skirt of your dress rolled up while the neckline and straps are pulled down. The flimsy material grouped around your waist, he remains on propped knees as he unzips and feeds out his length. He felt too overwhelmed to even worry about undressing himself.

Tightening his grip on your waist, he takes his other hand and strokes his lengthy muscle, before pressing the tip up against the subtle slit in between your folds.

“Wh-Heeseung wait…” your chest raises as you were experiencing further shock from the sudden contact of him beginning to enter inside you, all the while you were still trying to process the surprising avenue of him apologizing.

He never apologizes…not for something so serious. Usually if it was something minor he would, or if it was something he sincerely felt at fault for, but when it came to his hold and possession over you, he never felt wrong for the way he displayed his love for you…unless he was apologizing for something else. The thought of him finding out your messages never crossed your mind, how would it?

With him slowly pressing in, you began to feel the pressure of the sting and the pain that transitioned beautifully into that pleasurable tingle, that knot that build’s up in your lower gut as it drives you to crave more.

Uncontrollably, your hands drop their grip on his forearms, yet remained resting on top of them.

“Ah! Oh my God….” You gasped out. The way he moved as he slid in, it was so passionate and deep. Rotating his hips, twisting, and turning with a harsh yet slow gyrating motion, he buries himself deeper as he bellows out inside you.

Once he felt that he broke through your walls perfectly, he begins to thrust…starting off slow….working his way up to a pace that caused you to, despite being in a lying state, bounce up and down against the mattress.

“I’m sorry baby…..i’m sorry…please forgive me….” He breathes out deeply in between each word, as they all came dragging out of his pursed lips in a slight moaning tone as he felt the intense pleasure of thrusting in and out of you.

“Oh! Oh God! He-Heeseung!” your body starts to shift as the pleasure was too much for you to take in at a standstill, yet he held your steady with one hand on your waist, the other looped around your thigh.

“I shouldn’t have said those things to you….”

He speeds up the pace of his thrusts.

“Please ignore everything I said to you earlier….”

With the tip hitting that spot, your eyes roll to the back of your head as your body begins to tremble.

“Ugh!......uuuuuuugh! He-Heeseung pl-please!”

“Forgive me for everything I said….I should have known better than to say those things to you.”

“Heeseung!”

“I’m so sorry……tell me you’ll forgive me.”

Increasing the pace once more, his movements become jolting as he breaches his own orgasm, all the while he keeps gasping out his words of apology while you suffer the intense pleasure of being fucked with such deep and wounding passion.

Your body vibrates as you feel the knot tightening to the point where it was going to snap itself undone.

“Hee-Heeseung! Ugh!” you gasp as you arch your back, choking out gasping moans as your hands fling and slap on the sides of the bed, you lost all control of yourself as your body reacts and does whatever it wants to on its own accord.

“Yeah baby….I’m sorry…..” with the last bit of his words, he tucks his chin in as he leans down, nearly falling on top of you, yet he catches himself so as to not place all of his weight on you so suddenly while you vibrate violently from the intense orgasm that he just gave you. He too, felt the intensity of pleasure as he cums inside you.

You scream out as you fling your hands around, your body twitching uncontrollably. Taking both your hands, he pins them above your head and keeps them there as he leans in and kisses you. You weren’t able to kiss him back as your body was issuing gasping moans from the effects of the sexual high, yet it didn’t’ matter, he continued massaging your mouth as you gasped out your screams, his grip on our wrists tightens as he maintains them to be pinned above your head.

At that moment, you didn’t care about the argument nor your feelings on the matter. He softly tells you that while he wasn’t sorry about restricting you from going, you weren’t surprised. You knew that he was never going to be sorry or change his perspective over having a hold on you. You knew the very moment he said he was sorry, that it wasn’t for not allowing you to leave….but then what was it for?

“You loved me….even before we came together….didn’t you?” he softly speaks into your mouth as each word comes in during his passionate kiss.

“What?....”

Propping his head up as he rests against his forearms, still pinning our wrists down, he looks down at you with a wide eye look of amusement and love…it was almost terrifying. Never have you seen anyone look at you the way he does….even without his Ethan side, when Heeseung felt the passion of your love and consideration returned, he developed a wide stare that displayed a hungry look of desire, lust, and love that made you question how anyone could look so…..

“Insane….”

Leaning in after he gives a soft closed smile, he whispers in our ear….

“Those messages you sent to yourself….nine months ago…” reaching up with his hand, he keeps his face still and remains in place next to your ear, while his fingers strokes your opposite cheek.

“When you were still with him….and I was still with her…..”

Your eyes widened as you immediately recall the messages he spoke of. Your breath released a deep and slow gasp.

“…..How?......How did you see those?”

“On your phone…..while I was downstairs…..”

With the tears building up in your eyes, you recall the pain you felt back then…back when you thought that you would never have the chance to belong to him...that his heart would forever be out of your reach....and you felt lost....the pain he spoke of earlier, that he experienced while loving you from afar.... yet had no idea.... that you were feeling it as well….

Yet....as fate would have it.....he came to you....

I confessed You know the rest Promises you never kept Where were you baby You overslept When you hear that prison bell, think of me You're not the only one

Your life forever changed.....and it all started with.....

"Who made you cry?"

Authors note: This song was playing when i drafted the scene where you got the email. The lyrics pretty much represent your heart and feelings towards Samuel. The beat of it and the melody fit well with the love scene, it's melodic and sensual, so i thought it was perfect for you and Heethan. <3

42 notes · View notes

alovesreading · 2 years ago

Text

Constant Repeat | Part 5

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 20.2k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Currently not able to stay still because this is one of my favorite chapters and it's been one I have been excited to share ever since I finished writing it. So since imagine-that-100 and I are posting part 4 of Chicken Shop Date next week, I thought I would bring this chapter forward a week hehe, though this means you'll have to wait a week longer for the next one since I'll stick to posting it on the original date it was supposed to which is April 7th. But right now, I truly cannot wait to see your reactions to this one. I have a feeling you might yell at me lolll. Enjoy!!! xx

Masterlist

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

(17/09/11 10:28) Congrats on the suck it and see video, compliments the song brilliantly.

(17/09/11 10:31) Thank you for that and for helping us with it x

(17/09/11 10:39) Nothing to thank, that's my literal job Al hahaha

(17/09/11 10:40) Hahaha that's true. Well then thanks for making it such a great time for us.

(17/09/11 10:44) My pleasure :) Send my love to everyone over there, I hope tour is going smoothly x

(17/09/11 10:44) Will do x And it is! Kinda wish you were here to see the madness x

(17/09/11 10:45) We better hope America treats you just as well next time you come, I'll definitely be there :) x

•••

(27/10/11 13:16) I'm so glad Helders had the idea of going to Vegas and filming it.

(27/10/11 13:18) It was quite a lovely time, congrats on the music video Al!

(27/10/11 13:18) Even though most of it is just Bre and Matt, I'm happy to see that day after all this time x

(27/10/11 13:20) C'mon Turner, it's only been a couple months x

(27/10/11 13:21) Fair enough but, don't tell this to anyone, I miss America quite a bit.

(27/10/11 13:27) Any particular reasons?

(27/10/11 13:29) A couple come to mind...

(27/10/11 13:33) Any with first and last names?

(27/10/11 13:33) Are you trying to trick me into saying something?

(27/10/11 13:34) Maybe...

(27/10/11 13:48) I do miss you Ellie xx

(27/10/11 13:49) Well, that's good to hear xx

(27/10/11 13:49) I miss you following me around with your camera on my face x

(27/10/11 13:50) Anyone would think I'm a crazy pap from that sentence alone.

(27/10/11 13:50) Aren't you? x

(27/10/11 13:52) Alright Turner, I'm not saying i miss you too then.

(27/10/11 13:56) I joke, I joke x

(27/10/11 13:57) Hahaha I know, I do miss you xx

(27/10/11 14:02) Well, that's good to hear xx

•••

(05/11/11 02:22) Helders got a new film camera!

(05/11/11 02:22) No way?! Show me!!!

(05/11/11 02:24) *picture of Matt holding a Leica M6 to his face squinting his left eye*

(05/11/11 02:25) I'm so jealous! A Leica M6?! She's stunning!!!

(05/11/11 02:26) He's also been pestering me for your phone number, he might've stolen it from my contact book already.

(05/11/11 02:28) He did and texted me last night. Remind me again why you don't have a password? He's going to be the death of me.

(05/11/11 02:29) You said you missed the lads the other day, and I delivered the message. You didn't expect it to be that easy to escape him, did you?

(05/11/11 02:30) This is what I get for being a caring friend.

(05/11/11 02:31) It has its cons x

(05/11/11 02:46) It wasn't only Helders breaking into your phone, by the way.

(05/11/11 02:49) What do you mean?

(05/11/11 02:49) Nick and Jamie texted me earlier too hahaha

(05/11/11 02:49) Sorry? x

(05/11/11 02:50) Don't! I suppose you're gonna have a little rest from me now that I have more people to annoy x

(05/11/11 02:51) You're never annoying Ellie x

(05/11/11 02:51) I find that hard to believe x

(05/11/11 02:53) You really aren't x I actually think if you stop sending me your weekly film reviews and song recommendations I might go in a weird type of withdrawal xx

(05/11/11 02:53) I'll keep them coming for you then ;)

(05/11/11 02:54) I really hope you do xx

•••

(24/12/11 16:12) Just double checked and since it's already the 25th where you are, Merry Christmas Alex!!!

(24/12/11 16:17) Thank you Ellie, merry christmas to you too xx

(24/12/11 16:18) I hope Sinatra is playing on repeat all day today x

(24/12/11 16:21) You know he is. It's snowing later today as well, will send you pictures xx

(24/12/11 16:23) You're gonna make me miss home, I haven't had a white christmas in a while now :((

(24/12/11 16:24) We should do a video call then, make some hot chocolate and pretend you're here x

(24/12/11 16:25) Sounds lovely to me x See you later then, Al :)

(24/12/11 16:26) See ya Ellie xx

•••

(31/12/11 15:09) It feels weird having Bre here but not you, the group feels incomplete xx

(31/12/11 15:09) So sorry I said no, I had already planned on spending this one in Tennessee. And I would rather eat a cup of dirt than have you pay for my whole holiday in the uk!

(31/12/11 15:10) You don't have to be sorry, I know you missed your family x And you stubborn woman! Will you ever let me pay for anything for you without having to physically distract you when it comes to it?

(31/12/11 15:12) Never ;))) But you'll be pleased to know I have started saving up for my own trip, just give me some months and I'll be on your side of the pond x

(31/12/11 15:13) Can't wait to see how poorly you do in the cold once again, I'll have my coats ready for you to steal xx

(31/12/11 15:15) You're mean!

(31/12/11 15:16) I'm actually very kind, i'll be letting you take them all xx

(31/12/11 15:17) I think whatever you're having is getting to you already, go enjoy the party for me Turner! (I'm there in spirit x).

(31/12/11 15:17) I'm the most sober in here right now. Nick's pissed already and Matt is following very closely behind. (I can weirdly feel your presence in the room xx).

(31/12/11 15:18) Oh I would pay to see that!!

(31/12/11 15:18) Well lucky for you I won't charge you for the following videos x *video of Nick and Matt messily racing to chug down a pint of beer, video of Nick and Matt singing karaoke*

(31/12/11 15:19) You've just made my entire year with that HAHAHA

(31/12/11 15:22) Glad to hear it x

(31/12/11 16:00) Happy New Year from my side of the pond, Ellie xxxx

(31/12/11 16:03) Happy New Year Al xxxx Feels weird saying that at four in the afternoon haha

(31/12/11 16:04) Haha, time zones are mental, aren't they? Let me know when it's 2012 for you too xx

(01/01/2012 00:00) Happy New Year!!!! We just caught up to you hahah xx

(01/01/2012 00:00) Thank you, darling x How's it going with your family? xx

(01/01/2012 00:01) Absolutely insane but I had missed the madness that it was to spend the holidays with them :') Thinking about how crazy it would be if y'all were here to celebrate with us xx

(01/01/2012 00:04) Let's hope for 2013 xx

(01/01/2012 00:05) Yeah let's hope for that xx What about you? Starting the year with a hangover?

(01/01/2012 00:09) Thankfully no, but with a headache from inspiration and too much to write x

(01/01/2012 00:10) Don't stress yourself too much, it's always a perfect record x

(01/01/2012 00:11) Now you're just being nice x

(01/01/2012 00:12) Stop it, you know how good you are! I also have a feeling this one is gonna make history all around the world xx

(01/01/2012 00:15) We shall see about that xx

•••

(05/01/2012 12:21) I love how you regretted flipping the camera off and tried to cover it up with a peace sign.

(05/01/2012 12:34) I'm confused...

(05/01/2012 12:35) Black treacle just came out! Fill me in on Bre and Matt's fight after it.

(05/01/2012 12:36) You're still after Bre, I see x

(05/01/2012 12:38) Well if Matt fucks up then I need to be a good friend, don't I? x

(05/01/2012 12:39) Oh you think you're slick x

(05/01/2012 12:39) I'm smoother than you, that's for sure x

(05/01/2012 12:39) Hey what's that meant to mean?!

(05/01/2012 12:40) Hahaha nothing Turner, it means nothing.

(05/01/2012 12:41) How about I give you something? xx

(05/01/2012 12:41) And what would that be? xx

(05/01/2012 12:42) Remember how I promised you another music video? xx

Her jaw dropped at the same time her phone hit the kitchen counter, and in a delayed reaction she went to check if she'd cracked it but was relieved to see it intact. What the fuck?! was all that she could hear inside her brain, chanting to herself as she frantically opened her contact book to call Alex but, of course, the singer beat her to it. The room echoed with the ringing of his incoming call and she was quick to answer.

A loud "Are you serious?!" came out of her mouth like an instinct, not even giving him time to say hello.

His breathy laugh came through the speaker, "Do you think I'd be joking about that?"

She was screaming on the inside, her tummy fluttering as she thought about how the countdown to see him again would start right at that moment. "I don't– I just– When? Do Aaron and Ben know?"

He was lying on his settee, with his phone pressed to his ear and his ceiling was witnessing one of the brightest smiles he'd ever wore in his life. "I reckon our manager is getting in contact with them next monday, and possibly for the beginning of February. You know, we're doing a brief US west coast tour before we go back into the shadows to record the next one."

"Oh my god, really?! That's so soon!" Ella hadn't felt this much excitement since she got accepted in her first job in LA, everything felt light suddenly and she just couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

She's adorable, he thought with his cheeks aching. He could feel her happiness through the phone and she had this way of calming him down by just talking to him, that's why they had called each other so many times throughout the past months they hadn't seen each other.

"It is! And you're coming with..." Alex bit his lip trying especially hard to catch her reaction and when he got a tiny gasp, he freed his lip from his teeth and smirked, "Well, at least I was hoping you will– We, we were hoping you will." He cleared his throat, hoping the correction wasn't too noticeable.

Of course she noticed, her heart skipped a beat at that and her cheeks had warmed. Keep it cool, keep it cool, she reminded herself. "I would need to ask Ben and Aaron but I'd love to." She was giddy but then she realized what touring meant and her questions just came out in full force, "Wait... How many days would it be? Are we staying in hotels or just on the bus? We're not flying anywhere, are we? Who can I speak with from your team to pay for it?"

His chuckle was out before he could think of containing it, "It would just be a week of tour. No flying anywhere, no—we're moving on the tour bus like we did for Vegas. And as for the expenses you really don't have to worry, everything is paid for."

"But–"

He tutted, "No, Ella. I'll just let you pay for whatever you want to buy wherever we go but you're not paying for anything else if it's already covered."

She sighed feeling defeated but her excitement bubbled up again when she remembered what she had just accepted, "Oh I'm so excited!"

Alex decided to tease her and test the waters, "That eager to see me?"

She laughed at his advances, "Nope, just excited for the gigs and the free alcohol."

He laughed with her, "Glad to see where your loyalty lies."

Ella hummed and nodded, instantly feeling dumb when she saw her reaction reflected on the microwave realizing Alex was not seeing it. "And I'm glad you're understanding of my priorities."

"Talking about priorities, how come you're not at work? What have you been up to?" The thought of her casually picking up the phone at this time, when she'd normally pick up to whisper that she was at the office and that she'd have to keep whispering throughout the call, had been swirling around the back of his head and he was curious to know what had happened to change the situation.

She sighed, turning to rest her hips on the side of her kitchen counter and watching her guest bedroom door behind which her sister had been getting ready for almost twenty minutes. "Not much, just took the day off to pick my sister up from the airport."

He smiled at the news, thinking back to the many times Ella had mentioned her sister, the memories she shared with her and how many 'i miss her's he had heard after each anecdote. "Is she visiting?"

Her smile could be felt through the phone from the tone of her voice, and Alex couldn't help but count how many days it had been since he had witnessed that sight. "Yeah, she's staying for the week so I'm gonna show her every corner I love in LA."

A deep hum came from his side, "So she's getting a VIP Ella – Los Angeles tour..."

She let out a little chuckle, "Exactly that."

"Sort of jealous she gets one and I haven't gotten one yet."

With a smirk on her face Ella was quick to reply, "Well Mr. Rockstar, you haven't been here in a while and every time we've seen each other has been for filming."

He let out a breathy laugh that made her insides coat with warmth, "Fair enough. I'll be sure to get enough time in February to get a tour."

Her stomach flipped hearing him say he'd make time for her, even if it was just a joke she couldn't help the way it made her giddy and her cheeks light up. "Alright then...I'll give you a good discount, don't worry."

"You'll probably get a date before we even know of one, so I hope you have flexibility when it comes to changing reservation dates for those tours of yours." Alex kept the banter going, loving how most of the time her replies would surprise him and keep him thinking if she had really just said that.

"Of course I do! Mates rates, didn't you say it was?" She was about to continue when her guest bedroom door opened to reveal her sister all ready and putting her earrings on. "Speak of the devil... my lovely sister just finished getting ready so I'm gonna have to leave you Al, sorry." She sighed, sad that she had to cut the conversation short once again despite not being at work.

"Don't apologize Ellie, s'alright." His voice was soft and she hoped she could continue to listen to it for as long as life would allow her. "Hope you enjoy yourselves, send my regards to your sister."

She melted inside, her rational side yelling at her emotional counterpart that it was a simple thing to say and not something to swoon over but she was blind. Maybe that was his effect, pure blindness to everything else and only being able to see him. "Thanks Al, will tell her you said hi. Hope to hear from you soon."

"You definitely will," he promised, "Goodnight Ella."

Ella's eyes were on the ten in the morning sun coming through her windows and smiled to herself, "Goodnight Alex."

The room was filled with silence as she pressed the red button to end the call. A bright grin was set on her face with no intention to disappear, her cheeks were slightly pink but it was the tiny squeal that she accidentally let out that caused her older sister, Lily, to speak up.

"So you do have a crush!" Lily's index finger was pointing accusingly at Ella.

She turned her head so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash, "What?" She asked too defensive to make the situation seem casual.

Lily smirked at her, reading her face easily, "I was right, you do like him."

"Oh shut up, I do not." Ella's voice sounded annoyed but her sister knew that tone of hers, it was pure denial.

The older sister just sighed and rolled her eyes, "When are you ever gonna stop being so stubborn?"

"The day I die." Ella replied quickly and proceeded to grab her car keys from the counter and put her phone in the pocket of her jeans. "Let's go."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Wednesday, the 8th of February had been the day Ben and Aaron had been informed the lads would touch down on American soil again and the day had rolled around fairly quickly.

It felt as if the countdown to the day of the band's arrival had been fast forwarded and for that she was grateful. She wasn't a fan of having to wake up early but she had woken up to a picture of the lads at the airport and several texts from all of them, and it made her grin like a mad woman as she got ready.

(08/02/2012 06:12) *picture of Matt flipping the camera off at the baggage claim area* Fair to say he's excited to see you.

(08/02/2012 06:26) Tell him I'm just as enthusiastic to see him, Cookie.

•••

(08/02/2012 06:20) My darling Ella, hope you're up and ready to see us. Alex said something about getting a tour from you...

(08/02/2012 06:27) Definitely up, and slowly getting ready. If there's one thing you should know, is that I need a good cup of coffee to properly function this early in the morning. And yes, I'm driving y'all and giving you a tour around LA.

(08/02/2012 06:28) Noted, gonna get you loads of coffee for the tour. Can't wait to see how poorly you drive xx

(08/02/2012 06:28) Alright O'Malley, rude.

•••

(08/02/2012 06:34) I bet you're celebrating I'm back in your land already.

(08/02/2012 06:35) You have the biggest head, has anyone told you that?

(08/02/2012 06:35) Been told something similar, if you know what I mean ;)

(08/02/2012 06:35) You're actually disgusting, Helders.

(08/02/2012 06:36) Yeah, yeah, you love me.

(08/02/2012 06:36) You certainly wish.

(08/02/2012 06:37) You're just in denial. We're about an hour away from the hotel by the way, you better be on your way missy x

(08/02/2012 06:38) I'm about to leave. Dreading seeing you though x

(08/02/2012 06:39) You keep telling yourself that x

•••

(08/02/2012 06:40) Can't wait to see you! We're an hour away xx

(08/02/2012 06:41) Give your friends a smack in the back of their heads for me please, haven't even seen you yet and I'm getting bullied already x

(08/02/2012 06:42) Will do. I'm guessing Helders gets double? x

(08/02/2012 06:43) Atta boy, you're so smart x I'm on my way, see you soon Al! x

To say she was giddy on the drive to their hotel was an understatement. Ella had been bouncing on her seat, not even minding having to sit in the traffic for longer than she would've liked to, singing her favorite songs a little bit louder than usual, with a bright grin permanently on her face throughout the whole drive.

She found a spot in the parking lot of the hotel quite easily and with a skip in her step, she made her way through the big window doors and into the lobby. The guys were all distracted on their phones, so many people were walking around the hotel lobby that the echo of her steps was lost in between the pattern.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Arctic Monkeys." Ella's voice was playful, a smirk on her face as she saw them turn their heads in her direction.

The four of them pocketed their phones and yelled her name, a little bit too loud for the hotel staff's liking. Ella was enveloped in a group hug and she swore she could cry when it hit her then just how much she'd missed them the past six months.

"Missed you guys." She said once the group hug was done and she went around giving them all hugs.

Alex was the last one, kissing the top of her head before he let go, "Missed you too."

She was melting, having missed the singer more than she would ever admit but the moment was cut short when Matt said, "Couldn't live without us huh?" A big smirk on his face, his eyes as playful as ever.

"Matthew, I will leave you here." She looked at the drummer with a serious expression, that was broken when she saw his film camera hanging from his neck.

Matt threw his arms up in defeat, "Alright, alright. But you couldn't though." He added the last bit quickly and quietly.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, "If that helps you sleep at night."

After asking them if they were ready to go, and all of them nodding, she guided them to her car. It was big enough for all of them to fit comfortably so it didn't take them much time to get inside the vehicle and start driving. Alex was sitting on the passenger seat, while the rest took the backseats.

The little mirrorball was hanging from her rearview mirror with a tiny cowboy hat on top and it caught their attention. They all pointed at it with giggles whilst Alex could only think about how long it had been since the first time he saw it and how that day had been. Soon enough she turned on the car and started driving out of the parking lot.

Nick, who was in the middle, rested his arms on the front seats and looked around them all before saying, "Anyone want to share their last words before we get on the motorway?"

They all laughed hard, Ella looked through the rearview mirror at them and shook her head. She took her right hand and swatted at Nick's leg, leaving the steering wheel alone for a second which made Matt dramatically yell.

"Jesus Christ, I hate y'all." She sighed, placing her hand back where it was and focusing back on the road.

Jamie, who was sitting behind her, patted her arm. "Except you don't."

She opted to put her music on, letting the speakers drown the car with Ozzy Osbourne's voice. No one complained, which she was thankful for, they were just chatting over the music from time to time until they made it to Venice beach.

She took them walking through the Venice canals, the little suburb which was an American version of the Italian city. She had found it once while looking for a parking place when she was going to the beach with her friends, loving how quiet the place was and how pretty the scenery was. She had gone back multiple times to take pictures there, some of her favorite pictures were from the canals under the colors casted by the rising sun.

They had used the neighborhood as a backdrop to them walking around and catching up, them telling her tour anecdotes and how Nick's wedding plans were going, her telling them about the things they had been filming at Focus Creeps—which were now steering away from adverts and onto short films and artists trying to work with them after the Arctic Monkeys videos had been posted—and the shoots she'd been doing with Breana, which she promised Matt to show.

It was early, so the streets were rather empty, and it was February so it wasn't unbearably hot either.

Ella had her camera with her, constantly stopping to take pictures and it sent Alex back to Vegas. The way she would shiver despite having her jean jacket on sent him back to the day they had met. This time though, she would share her frames and exchange tips with Matt—he had her take pictures of certain places, she was helping him get the perfect shot—and Alex was melting inside. She was beyond adorable when her face lit up while sharing her passions.

After they gave the neighborhood a full walk-around, they went back to the car and she drove them over to the Old Los Angeles Zoo. The drive was long, over an hour, which was filled with her music and lots of chatter. She turned the volume down, the Talking Heads song fading to the background, so that she could give them a small preface of where it was that they were going.

"Okay so before you say anything about the LA Zoo signs, I'm actually taking you to the old abandoned one. It's very apocalyptic looking, but it has character."

Soon enough they were parking on the side of the road, and they could see an old rusty sign that read 'Picnic Area'. She guided them into the place, agile while scurrying and crouching down and through the stone ruins.

They were walking around and seeing every one of the forgotten cages, the lads getting inside of them and getting their pictures taken by Ella while they made weird faces or they tried to act like the animals they'd guess had lived in those cages.

Matt had trapped Ella into one of the cages, making her curse him through the metal bars as the band waved at her and faked leaving her behind. Alex taking a quick picture of her with his phone, she flipped him off and he smiled even harder.

Ella had gotten her payback when they were in a particularly claustrophobic cage that had a very steep staircase. Matt had been resting his palms against the graffitied walls at the top, as he slowly leaned his body forward to look down but he screeched when Ella had purposely nudged his hip and made his balance waver.

"You little–" The drummer had mumbled sternly before setting off to chase behind her, not hard to know where she went since she had run away giggling and they could still hear her.

Another thirty minutes of them messing about went by, before they were back in her car. She sighed as she settled in the driver's seat. Everyone shuffled into their seats but before she could start the engine, she had to make her mind up about where to take them next.

Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel as she looked through the rearview mirror at them. "Alright, so do you wanna go to the Hollywood sign or am I good to take you to the next place?"

They had already gone to the iconic landmark multiple times before so it wasn't hard for them to shrug and agree on moving onto the next place, which ended up being Los Feliz and they drove through the Shakespeare bridge on their way there, which she had pointed out enthusiastically.

Ella loved this part of the city of Los Angeles, she would visit it at least once a week to have some food at La Pergoletta and then go to the Los Feliz Theater which was just a couple blocks away. And that's exactly what they did. They sat at the Italian restaurant to have some early lunch—Ella giving them all recommendations of what they should get and fighting them to pay for the meal when the check arrived—, and then they went over to walk by the theater and the rest of Los Feliz Boulevard.

With their stomachs full and yet another roll of film gone, they went back to the car. Jamie walked ahead of the group as he claimed to remember exactly where they had parked, Nick and Matt talking as they followed closely behind, Alex and Ella on the very back of the group smoking.

"Are you excited to go on tour with us?" Alex inquired after he took a drag of his cigarette.

A puff of smoke left her lips, "I certainly am, though I can feel my back hurting already."

"Bunk beds are lovely, aren't they?" He looked at her with a playful smirk that made her chuckle.

"I bet you love going to the chiropractor." She sighed, exhaling the smoke and flicking some of the ashes to the floor.

"I've never been to one actually." the singer admitted after thinking for a second, trying to recount any visit to a chiropractor.

"Are you serious?" Ella asked with a gasp, and when he shook his head, she shrugged. "Well you should, it's the weirdest relief."

Alex thought about it but then frowned, "Doesn't the cracking noise freak you out?"

"Kind of? The first time he cracked my neck I fully thought I had died and was seeing the other side." She recalled, shuddering at the memory and the wind that had hit her.

He snorted, "That's exactly why I'll stick to massages, thanks very much."

"Are you gonna share your masseuse's number then?" She jokingly replied, but actually thinking of ways to alleviate her upcoming backache during the tour in the back of her mind.

Alex looked straight ahead towards his friends and pointed to the one in the front. "That would be Jamie actually, he knows his shit when it comes to a good back massage."

She hummed, looking at the man walking confidently ahead of the group. "Good to know." A few seconds of silence passed as they kept smoking and she thought of taking a picture of them, like that, in a mundane LA setting so she turned to the singer. "Alright Alex, c'mon go walk with them I wanna take a picture of y'all."

He nodded, smoking the last of his cigarette before tossing it to the pavement and stepping on it. "Tired of me, are you? The tour hasn't even started yet." He teased with a raised eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes, smiling at his behavior. "Shut up, idiot."

He smirked back, before starting to walk faster ahead of her. "How do you want me then?"

"Just keep walking and turn around when I call you." Ella instructed with a point of her finger.

Alex nodded and complied, walking right behind Nick and Matt who nodded at him in acknowledgement but kept talking between themselves. He was waiting for her voice to call out to him, watching his feet move, the sound of every step he took hitting his ears as the city noise became more background noise than anything.

When he heard a soft "Al" being called, he turned around with a soft smile—a smile that she captured, with the perfect focus and he looked stunning so the thought just escaped her.

"Stunning." Her voice was soft as she rolled the film with the lever, sticking it back into its place right after. Turning the device off since she wasn't taking any more pictures, she let it hit her upper stomach and when she looked up, she was met with his gaze.

"Is that so?" Alex nudged her hip with his and Ella blushed.

"Yes but don't let it get to your head," her cheeks stayed warm as she tried to play it cool, "Or else I'll have to take it upon myself to keep you humble."

He hummed as he pursed his lips trying not to grin, "I'm sure you'd enjoy that."

"You're right, I truly would." She nudged him this time and he tripped on his feet making her laugh out loud, the lads turned around to see him stumble and joined in her laughter. "Told you I would." She added smugly.

Alex looked at her mesmerized, Ella was just so hypnotizing to him. With everything she did, what she said and how she looked, he couldn't help but stare. She flushed under his gaze and was saved by the bell when Jamie indeed found her car and she had to speed her walk to unlock it for them.

Once inside, she ignited the engine and clapped her hands, "The next place I'm taking you is probably one of my favorite places in the whole world, I spend hours here every time I go and it's beautiful so..." she ranted before turning her music on, Stevie Nicks' voice now drowning the vehicle as they moved through the streets and back onto the highway.

It took them less than thirty minutes to get to the place, which had felt way faster after Matt decided to tease her about being born in the wrong generation as her playlist was filled with 70s and early 80s songs rather than more modern music; she hadn't gotten a chance to even fight their argument because when Alex started skipping through the songs, their point was backed. Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Talking Heads, The Cure, Pink Floyd, Bowie, Dolly Parton, Fleetwood Mac. Ella blushed as she slapped Alex's hand away from her phone, Bowie's voice lost in the background as everyone laughed.

When they stepped through the threshold of the bookstore, Ella's breath was taken from her by the views, as if she didn't frequent the place and she wasn't acquainted with the people who worked there.

Even Matt, who couldn't be arsed to be in a bookstore, was taken aback by the way the place looked. The way the books were arranged and the eccentric decor of each room was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was like a Disneyland themed room, but it was just a bookstore.

"Just wait until you see the book tunnel." Ella's voice was giddy, her smile growing as she stepped further inside, with them following closely behind.

And soon enough, while she gave them a tour of the place—saying "Hi!" to people working there who greeted her back and knew her name—, they were met with a room which had a tunnel against a wall, entirely made with books. Further ahead a wall with what had been arranged to look like flying books, that reminded them of Harry Potter.

After agreeing to spend half an hour there, since they had to be at the hotel in about two hours and she had to pick her stuff up and Breana to meet them back again, they separated to look through the endless selection of books the store offered.

Of course they had left Alex and Ella by themselves, but she was too entranced by the worn out spines on the shelves to see Matt winking at his best mate before leaving with Jamie and Nick.

"You know, I found an annotated original copy of Pride and Prejudice here the first time I came. It was titled 'Elizabeth Bennet' rather than Pride and Prejudice and I found out that that was the title of some copies when they first got here in 1832. Have been coming here since then." Her smile was soft at the memory, her eyes glimmering under the dull yellow lights.

He hummed, mirroring her gentle grin, "That must be worth a fortune."

"Oh definitely, but that book is not leaving me ever. If I don't get buried with it, then I will pass it down to my kids." She laughed at herself by the end, shaking her head at her thoughts and started walking to turn into another aisle.

He giggled with her, eyes wondering from her figure to the books. Some old, some new but all equally hypnotizing to her as she picked them out and inspected them.

"I'm sure they'll appreciate it."

"They better," Ella said absentmindedly as she put the book back in its place, "Or else I will haunt them."

Alex let out a breathy laugh as he reached for a book on the top shelf that had caught his eye. "You'd be the worst ghost, if they even exist."

She clicked her tongue, turning to look at him, book left forgotten in his hands as he met her gaze. "C'mon Turner, you need to have some faith or else I won't be able to haunt Helders for the rest of his life."

His smirk grew playful, "You'll make him miserable?"

She winked, "You know it."

Time flew by like it always did, purposely forcing the needles on the clock to spin faster when it knew Alex was with her, wind blowing the sand from the hourglass so they ran out of minutes when they were together. And as if they had been the embodiment of an alarm clock, the other three members of the group appeared, precisely on the dot of the time they had agreed on.

Back in the car, she sighed as she saw them all take in their assigned seats. "So how was it class? Did you like your road trip?"

Nick shrugged in the middle, his lips pressed to avoid smiling. "Eh. Could've been better."

And before Ella could retaliate, Matt added, "I'm pretty sure the driver tried to kill us a fair few times." to which Alex and Jamie agreed with "'Yeah, yeah."

She just rolled her eyes through the rear view mirror, and took advantage of having the singer next to her so she could smack the back of his head. "I can't stand any of you." She muttered as the engine hummed alive, making them all erupt in laughter at the way Alex had jumped in his seat.

The drive back to their hotel had grown amusing when 'Still Take You Home' came on, and she turned the volume up after saying with a massive smirk "See? How's that for modern music boys?"

She started singing along, copying Alex's accent and exaggerating it to an obnoxious extent but they were loving it. She made a full show, playing an imaginary guitar, getting cheered on by the lads and when the song was over she did a little curtsy with her eyes on the road.

Jamie patted Alex's shoulder, making him turn around and see a smirk on his friend's face. "Sorry Al, you're being replaced."

The singer only sighed, keeping up with the charade, "Just like that, huh?"

"Sorry mate." added Matt, a faux-comforting grasp of his shoulder as he apologized.

Ella grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "Sorry Al, but it's clear who's better if the decision was that easy." A frown on her face as she acted on putting a face that exuded fake pity.

He only shook his head, grabbing the phone. Unlocking it easily with a swipe on the screen and he searched through her music. "But do you know..." He trailed off as he pressed on the track. The quick drum pattern of 'Pretty Visitors' coming through the speakers and her pout faltered.

"Won't even try because I can barely understand what you say in it." Her cheeks tinted pink as the other three hollered in the back of the car.

"Looks like you're back mate." said Nick, backtracking their previous statement.

Alex smirked at Ella, who caught the sight of him for a quick second before turning back around to look at the road. "That's what I thought."

In an hour, she had dropped them off at the hotel so they could get ready before the tour bus got there later and picked them all up. She rushed home to pick up her suitcase—which she had forced herself to keep light and small—and then went over Breana's to get her.

The sun was setting as they talked, laughed and sang, driving down the highway and on their way back to the hotel. The closer the hotel's exit got, the more nervous she felt. Bre noticed, but she kept making jokes that made her loosen up. After all, nothing bad would happen; the worst could be that however she felt about Alex got nowhere and she'd stay silently crushing over a man out of her reach. And she somehow was okay with that, as long as she still could have him as a friend.

It was muscle memory that made her find a parking spot and turn off the engine of her car at the hotel. With a blink, she realized just how dangerous that had been, because she couldn't recall those last five minutes of the drive. The thought of him was dangerous.

The tiny wheels on their suitcases scratched down the pavement as they met the band at the hotel's main entrance. She had to quickly reach for Bre's suitcase when she let go of it to run into Matt's arms, catching it right before it hit the ground.

Jamie sighed, "Thanks Bre, we missed you too." Sarcasm so clear in his words, Matt chuckled and only held his girlfriend tighter.

Eventually, the lovebirds let go of each other and Breana could properly greet everyone. They all lit cigarettes up as they waited for the bus, which according to the text Alex had gotten, would be there in about fifteen minutes.

It was all laughter and chatter, a taste of what the upcoming week was going to be like, and Ella found it refreshing. Yes she loved her job, but there was something about driving down the west coast along with her friends, who happened to be musicians, enjoying their art and whatever the cities had to offer.

She wished she could go on tour more often already but since she knew this was gonna be the first and last time she'd get to go on one, she'd make the best out of the experience and enjoy every second of it.

A few minutes earlier than anticipated, the bus arrived. Tall black coach with dark windows that made her wonder if you could even look through them at all. She found that she could, after they all left their luggage where they had been instructed to place it and they walked up the steps and into the vehicle.

"Holy shit," Ella could barely keep her jaw from falling at the size of it, "It's bigger than the last one."

Matt walked up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder and his other arm hugged Breana tighter to his side. "Had to upgrade since we're taking on two very special guests."

"Awh, I knew I was special to you." Ella cooed playfully before jabbing the drummer in his ribs.

He flinched and tried to get her back but she moved faster, "Don't go pushing your luck now, Ellie."

She giggled before she was swept away by Breana, who grabbed her hand and took her to the next few steps that led into the rest of the bus. There were far too many bunks for just the six of them but they looked bigger and more comfortable than the ones in the tour bus they had taken to Las Vegas so she wouldn't go complaining about anything. She was sure she could go without a hotel throughout the week, seeing that they had a perfectly sized bathroom inside as well, with a small shower and all.

Nick walked into the hallway, standing by the door that separated the bunks from the rest of the bus. "Yous can choose your beds first."

Bre turned to her with a playful smirk, shrugging her shoulders mischievously. "Chivalry is not dead I see..." the model trailed off, getting a hold of Ella's hand again to bring her back down the hallway.

And after leaving their coats on top of the beds they had chosen, which were facing each other, they went back down to the lounge area. The driver was at the bottom of the stairs telling them they'd be setting off in five minutes and made sure there was nothing else they were missing.

Five minutes after the confirmation that they were good to go, the bus started moving. They felt the change of rhythm as they got off onto the highway whilst they chatted, scattered around the settees in the lounge area.

"So Ella, are you ready for the groupie lifestyle?" Matt's voice was teasing, a slight pitch higher as the anticipation of her reaction bubbled inside of him. Breana giggled against her boyfriend's side which she was pressed against.

As per usual, Ella was starting to blush. Her cheeks tinted a faint pink as her lips pursed, "Groupie? That's a big commitment."

"Well I know a few people that would love to come to an agreement with you." The drummer let his eyes wander to his best friend who was about to break his jaw with how hard he was clenching it.

Ella knew exactly who Matt was staring at so her cheeks turned a very obvious red now, even the tips of her ears matching the color on her face.

She sighed, letting her head drop just a little bit for a few seconds before looking to her left and staring at the other three musicians. "How long is this tour again?"

Matt snorted, Breana laughing just as hard as Nick was. "Eight days." Jamie ended up replying, holding back laughter.

Her eyes were still on the rest of the band and she gave them a pitiful shake of her head, "Can't believe you can stand months of this one on the road. I'd pull all of my hair out."

Alex agreed with her then, "I'm fairly close to that point every tour."

"Sure mate, I'd pay to see you bald." Dared the drummer to which he only received an eye roll and a lovely middle finger from the singer.

Ella could only think how unforgettable those eight days were going to be.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had been right.

She had it all imprinted in her mind.

Every kiss to her cheek followed by a 'good morning', an arm snaking around her waist giving it a firm squeeze before letting go and leaving her breathless.

Every time an arm came around her shoulders and rubbed her arm up and down when she was shivering because of the strong winds outside the venues as the sky turned from lilac and orange to a velvety blue.

Every whiskey glass turned into a slurred 'you look stunning, darling', that somehow always led to shared cigarettes outside bars and his giggles in her ear as he leaned into her every time she'd make him laugh.

Every picture she had taken of their views and their surroundings, that turned into a plea to take a picture of her with whatever it was in her previous shot as a background.

Every late night chat they had as they were always the last ones to go to bed. It be on the tour bus' lounge or a hotel bar, the walls of these places being confidants to everything they'd shared: stories from their childhoods, a movie they never really got over, a hobby they always wanted to get into but never could, their already gone dreams that would forever stay as that, the intricacies of existence they'd come to terms with never really understanding.

She was sure she had never blushed more in her life compared to how she had been in the past five days. Her cheeks were sore from grinning after everything Alex did, whatever little things he'd say to her.

They had grown closer, always next to each other. Their behavior had earned them plenty of eye rolls from the rest of the band, but they didn't truly care anymore.

That Tuesday she had woken up with a groan. They had been in Vegas the day before and, whilst their stay had been shorter and tamer than the last time they had been in the city, they still had had plenty to drink. A headache was all she felt, softer than she would've expected and she found a bit of hope in the fact that she could nurse it with a couple of painkillers.

Her phone screen flashed in front of her, a notification from the weather app telling her it would be a sunny but windy day in San Diego. Eyes going up to the time, nine in the morning and she took a deep breath but it got stuck in her throat when she realized the date. Fucking Valentine's Day.

Ella had grown to have good memories of the holiday, but they had all been tarnished by people's decisions and time. She didn't care much for it anymore, or she forced herself not to. Now all she could think was how she would hate the decision of having Breana sleep just across from her, she'd have to sleep blasting music in order not to hear anything. It had already worked for her the days before, so she would hold on tight to her earphones and her playlists to drown out whatever the lovebirds would get up to that night.

She shivered just thinking about it.

Slowly pushing the curtain aside, Ella slid out of the bunk. Landing with a thud on the floor, before she walked out to the lounge to make herself a cup of coffee on the fancy Keurig the tour bus had.

Nick had kept his promise of asking for loads of it. It had been an exaggerated amount but it was of a really really nice kind so she wouldn't complain.

Surprisingly everyone rose up not long after her, she thought it was probably the coffee's smell that had guided them out of bed and into the lounge. First came Jamie, who stood beside her, leaning against the makeshift kitchen counter as they sipped on their coffees.

Nick and Breana followed, the girl claiming Matt was still asleep but they'd be going out when he woke up, which meant the other four of the group were gonna be left alone without the lovers.

She had been teasing Breana along with Nick and Jamie—laughing as they managed to make the model blush and hide behind her hands—when Alex came out looking freshly changed, wearing a plain white shirt with a leather jacket, dark jeans and his usual chelsea boots. Gold chain around his neck and she had to pinch herself to stop her mind going places.

He took her breath away and it was shown in the way her exhale pushed the steam of her second coffee cup forwards.

"Morning everyone." The singer greeted in a low voice, morning's effect still over it as it sounded husky and slightly raspy.

They all said morning back, Ella turning around to pour him a mug of coffee. A spoonful and a half of sugar, the way she now knew he liked his coffee.

When she held it up for him to take he got closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek and whispering "Thank you, Ellie."

He took a long sip of the beverage before he cleared his throat, "You should get ready, we're going out in a little bit."

She frowned, cup slowly leaving her lips. "But–" she turned to Jamie then, who was still standing beside her, "Didn't we not have plans?"

Jamie smirked, looking from Ella to Alex, "We didn't."

"Just us, you deserve a break from these two idiots." He tried to downplay it, not wanting to say he was taking her on a date but he was.

Her hand was still frozen, the cup of coffee midair as she slowly broke out of her shocked state. "Alright..." she trailed off, her voice barely a whisper.

Nick got up, taking the mug from her hand. "Go on, I'll wash this for you."

Breathlessly she replied, "Thank you," before she, in panic, looked at Breana who had the biggest grin on her face.

The model jumped up onto her feet and ran away into the bunk beds with Ella's hand tightly clutched. They moved onto the empty bunk area, and closed the door behind them to not wake Matt up.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Breana whisper-yelled and it only made her more nervous.

Ella waved her hands to calm her down, "Stop! Stop!" She shouted back in a whisper.

Bre sighed, "He's totally asked you on a date."

"No he hasn't, it's just– We're just going out." Ella fought back, stuttering as she made her point.

"Going out. On a date." The model stated in a tone that said it was obvious.

"Fuck." She swore under her breath and Breana shrieked. "Shush! I don't want to get my hopes up."

The admission made Bre stop in her place, she grabbed Ella's arms and squeezed affectionately, "Everything will be okay, alright? Whatever happens, it will be a good day and you'll remember it as such."

She inhaled and exhaled, twice, long deep breaths to calm her down but they did nothing really. She needed a cigarette, desperately, but she needed to get ready first. "What do I even wear?! I have nothing date-appropriate to wear."

"Lucky you have me, babe." Breana wasted no time before she crouched down to pull her case towards herself, unzipping it and showing a mess of fabrics.

Ten minutes later, after she had been pushed into the bathroom to get ready and then change into the clothes Breana and her had chosen, she was putting some mascara on. Breana pushed one of her lip glosses into the pocket of the cheetah print coat she had lent Ella.

The coat had been decided into the outfit after Ella claimed she'd get too cold without one as she was just wearing a satin top, that looked like the top half of a slip-on dress, and her high waisted blue jeans. She fished her packet of Marlboro reds and her lighter after spraying some perfume on the way out, her camera already hanging on her shoulder and her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

Her boots clicked as she walked down the few steps that led into the lounge. And Alex swallowed hard when she fully came in view. He didn't have it in him to feel shy or embarrassed to be heard by his mates when he went over to her, clutched her hand and told her, "You look beautiful, Ellie." followed by a kiss on her cheek.

His lips burned on the already heated skin of her cheeks. She just had it in her to say back a quiet, "Thank you, Al. So do you."

He quickly said goodbye to everyone before they could say anything, and he thanked his lucky stars that Matt wasn't there or else she would've shied away from it all with his teasing. She said bye too, quietly as the nerves bit away at her slowly with every step they took in direction to the bus door.

Once outside he decided to tease her, joke around to have her loosen up because he could feel just how stiff and nervous she was. "Beautiful am I then?"

She chuckled, blushing again. "Shut up." she replied with her head down, her voice directed at the floor. "Where are we going anyway?" She put a strand of hair behind her ear as she inquired.

Alex smiled softly at her, "We're renting a car and I'm taking you to this place I've always wanted to go but never had the chance to."

"Mysterious." She let her words hang in the air as they walked, she had no idea where they were going and that made her more nervous yet she was growing giddy too. The bus had stopped at the venue, so they took an exit through a door all the way around, where the fans weren't queuing up for later.

Just like he had been saying, there was a car rental place a few blocks away and it wasn't long before they were driving down San Diego's coast. About twenty minutes later, when she had asked many times where they were going and he was not telling her, Ella was able to see the outline of a rollercoaster beside the sea and it made her gasp.

"Are we going to Belmont Park?!" Her pitch was high as she couldn't contain her excitement, and Alex grinned hard when he took a quick glance at her and saw her practically beaming.

He hummed like he didn't want to let a pathetic happy squeal, "We are."

She couldn't stay still and she was aware that she probably looked like a child but she had always wanted to come to this place, and she was fairly sure she had mentioned it to him when they found themselves chatting over a few drinks at the bar of the hotel they had stayed in when they were in San Francisco.

It came back faintly to her mind then. Alex had mentioned that San Diego was the last place before they would drive back up to Los Angeles and Ella had gone on an alcohol-induced rant about how she'd been dying to go to Belmont Park but the few times she had gone down to San Diego, no one had wanted to go with her or something happened that kept her from going.

Her insides filled with a feeling she had been trying to ignore for the past few days, just thinking about how he had remembered all that when she had almost forgotten even mentioning it in between the cocktails.

Alex rolled the windows down, wind blowing their hair around. Not even her hair on her face could hide her grin and it only got bigger as they parked and got to the ticket booth.

The place was less crowded than she expected it to be, with kids back in school and it being winter, so they were walking freely and enjoying the controlled noise from the people already there.

The orange wristbands they had gotten allowed them to go on any ride they wanted so they went walking around the place, drinking in everything they could do throughout the day and seeing what caught their eyes first.

"We're definitely saving the roller coaster for last." She pointed out, her ears filling with the yells of people on the ride's trains as they came down the big slope.

He nodded, "Yep, but we're going in the first row." He was wearing dark sunglasses but she could see his teasing gaze behind them.

She smirked at him, "Okay, deal." putting her hand out for him to shake and that he did, firmly and matching her smirk.

A few minutes later they had found a mini golf course, safari themed that they deemed the best way to start the day. They picked up their score card, a pencil, their balls and putters and off they went into the course.

Ella turned to him as they approached the first hole, "Don't laugh at me," her finger threatening as it pointed straight at her face. "My dad tried to get me into golfing but I've always been shit at it."

His lips pressed hard against each other, trying to hide his smile. "Sure. Promise I won't laugh."

But when she hit the ball first and it awkwardly landed in the furthest spot from the hole, completely missing it by a foot, he snorted and she huffed as she turned around. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

Her pout tugged at his heart strings, "Sorry darling," he pressed a kiss to her temple before placing his ball on the tee, "But you really are bad."

"I know." She whined, a soft chuckle leaving her lips seeing how far her ball was and how funny she found her own lack of golfing skills. Jesus, that's fucking embarrassing, she thought.

Ella didn't mind keeping the score, she was just a little embarrassed by the end when Alex won by having half her points. She blushed when he asked who had won, only wanting to tease her because he knew it was him.

Alex had compensated it by getting her ice cream, which they were eating away blissfully as they walked around.

The wind kept blowing her hair around, making her curse as she tried to keep it away from the ice cream. He stopped and handed her his cup, she was confused until he stood behind her and brushed her hair back to then start braiding it.

Her face was heating up, as she stared ahead of her, feeling his fingers on her hair. "What are you doing?" The words were so soft they almost sounded weak.

"A plait, so your hair doesn't blow on your face." Alex responded just as softly, his breath hitting the back of her neck. He could see the goosebumps erupting on her skin so he smirked, purposely brushing his finger against her neck soothingly.

He didn't take long to finish it, tying it with an elastic she had on her wrist. He squeezed her shoulders to indicate he was done and she turned around on her heels, "Thanks, Al."

"No worries." He smiled, getting his ice cream back from her.

"Where did you learn how to braid? I'm curious now."

Alex chuckled at her eyes clearly showing her curiosity. "I used to have long hair y'know."

She paused, "Wait– like long long? Longer than when we met?"

He nodded, "Way longer."

"Oh I'm gonna have a good time on google later." Ella elbowed him softly to tease him, cheeky smile breaking out despite the spoon between her teeth.

He rolled his eyes in faux annoyance, "Sure you will. Will have a good time chatting shit with Matt too, I bet."

She beamed and joked, "You know me so well."

Ella kept on walking then to taunt him some more, leaving him to keep up with her as her strides got faster. She got a playful shove when he caught up beside her which ended in her laughing.

Teenagers were running around with their friends, laughter came from all around the place, the sun was shining bright behind the clouds that stubbornly chased the star around. It was all perfect and it only got better as the day went by.

They had gone on the bumper cars twice, the drop tower, the beach blaster—which had gotten them so dizzy they ended up riding the carrousel afterwards, earning frowns from certain parents who were holding their toddlers up on the horses—, the go karts, the fun house and even a laser maze.

It was around lunch time when they were walking past a line of stands filled with food you could only find at a fair. Sweetness bold in the air, making their mouths water.

"What's that? Smells very nice." asked Alex when they passed a funnel cake kiosk.

Ella stopped in her tracks, grabbing his wrist to drag him to the back of the short line. "Funnel cake and we're getting some," she fished for her card to keep it in hand and pay before he could, like he had done all day. "Have you ever tried it?"

He hadn't even heard of the term before, "No, is it good?"

She sighed in delight just thinking about it, "It tastes like heaven."

Ten minutes later they were sitting on a little wooden table with two funnel cakes—that she proudly and quickly paid for—sitting on top of it. One had whipped cream and caramel drizzled all over, while the other had a scoop of vanilla ice cream, chopped strawberries and chocolate fudge.

"This is like asking for a diabetic coma." The singer joked, watching the dessert filling the plates.

She smiled at that, "Welcome to America baby," she quipped back with a playful tone on her voice.

The phrase came out of her mouth without her even having time to realize the pet name, but she played off her flushing cheeks as excitement as she moved one of the plates towards him and pulled the other in front of her.

Plastic forks dug into the fried batter and, just as Ella had described, it tasted amazing. She made him take bites out of hers, claiming he had to try it or else he'd regret it, so he did and she watched him take it in as she wiped some caramel from the corner of her mouth.

Alex savored the bite, thinking about how if he kissed her, she'd taste just as sweet and just that thought made his mouth water even more.

She had been taking pictures, and he thought about how he'd never grow tired of seeing her like that: so adamant on catching the perfect shot, sometimes slightly crouching down or standing on her tippy toes, nose scrunching as she closed one of her eyes to focus the frame, finger so delicate yet precise when pressing the shutter and that beaming grin after capturing it.

The same grin she was giving him now after she had taken a picture of him and the funnel cakes, the rest of the attendees so oblivious to her heart swelling up at his soft smile and the way his eyes crinkled.

Once they finished their food, they stood up and kept on walking until they stumbled on a photobooth on the left side of the boardwalk. He paid before she could notice, and when they were sitting on the flat red leather seat, she awkwardly smiled at the screen.

There was a five second countdown that made her internally freak out until she settled on just smiling, eyes closed from how big it was and he copied it as he also faced the camera.

Once the shutter sound went off she sighed, "I have no idea what to do, I'm usually the photographer!"

He chuckled and threw his arm around her shoulder to hug her into him, cheek pressed against her temple making her giggle. The sound of her bubbly laughter was interrupted by the shutter and she couldn't wait to see how that one had turned out.

She let out a small shriek, desperately trying to think of something to do. "Okay Mr. Rockstar, rock on." Ella said quickly before doing the rock 'n' roll sign with her right hand, tongue sticking out to the camera. He mirrored her actions, both of them bursting out with laughter right after. "Sorry I panicked, didn't know what to do."

Alex just shook his head and she scrunched up her nose looking at his blissed expression. "You're something else." He said almost breathlessly, getting lost in her pretty eyes.

"Is that a compliment?" Her voice was shy as her cheeks tinted pink for the hundredth time in the day.

He smirked, "Definitely."

And with that the shutter went off capturing the last picture. When they came out of the booth and saw the freshly printed pictures, they laughed. They laughed to hide how the strip of photos actually made them feel, her skin erupted in goosebumps at the sight of the last one: both of them just smiling wide at each other, eyes staring into the other's like nothing else mattered.

He held the little sleeve in which the two strips were now saved, and delicately placed it on the pocket inside of his jacket, so ironically over his heart.

Not long after, they were on the line for the roller coaster which they had agreed would be their last ride before they went out to eat at this Mexican restaurant she loved that wasn't too far away.

She had always hated the long queues at amusement parks, the wait making her body catch onto just how sore her feet were or how her back begged for a resting place but it was easy with Alex. They would get caught in conversations so quickly, effortlessly flowing through topics and stories, making the forty minutes of wait seem shorter.

He had asked for them to be seated in the front row, having to wait for five more minutes before they got the instruction to sit and when they did she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.

"Are you nervous?" Alex asked, half teasing and half worried.

Ella cleared her throat to begin explaining, "I love roller coasters but hate heights. Just a walking contradiction I am."

He squeezed her thigh to then pull on the black bar set firmly atop of their hips, "Don't worry, this won't budge."

And before she could nod the trains started moving and her eyes widened, a chesty laugh falling from his lips at her reaction. A few seconds later they were in complete darkness and then the light of day could be seen at the end of the tunnel.

Once the light hit them again, the trains started going up and she turned to him in warning. "Just so you know, I tend to laugh like a maniac when I'm scared on a ride."

"Very excited to see that." Alex was teasing her but not quite, he actually wanted to hear every version of her laugh.

Ella could see the drop coming up and suddenly she remembered the lack of protection her top provided, words spilling out of her mouth with no filter as the anticipation built up. "My fucking tits are gonna fall off this top!" She shouted through her teeth, just loud enough for only them both to hear.

In comparison, his laugh was loud, "Well I wouldn't mind seeing that either."

She scoffed, one hand on the bar on top of them and the other holding the fabric of her strappy top to her exposed chest. "Of course you wouldn't you cheeky– Fuck!"

The car dipped faster than she expected and she closed her eyes for a second after her curse flew out into the wind. He was laughing beside her, making her laugh with him and as the trains went up and down, a funny feeling on her stomach made her giggle away uncontrollably.

The ride ended after a brief minute of ups, downs and tilts to the sides, and as they came to a stop at the loading bay of the attraction, Alex turned to ask her, "You wanna go again?"

In all honesty, he didn't want to make another almost-hour-long line but the whole time he had been looking at her and hearing her in the ride, and he selfishly wanted to experience it all again.

"If the line wasn't as long, then I'd say yes. But maybe next time yeah?" Ella replied, patting his cheek before the worker lifted the security bar and they got out.

They had laughed at her reaction on the way back to the car, the sunset creeping on behind them. She gasped at the colors in the sky as she opened the car door so she stopped to take a picture before getting inside.

"Got it?" The singer asked softly with a small smile on his face.

"Mhm." She nodded, shy smile reciprocating his.

And then they drove as she sang to the songs from her phone. Smirking when 'Suck It And See' came on shuffle, "Oh what a lovely coincidence, isn't it Turner?" she had said before singing along to his voice booming through the speakers.

He had only shook his head as he looked at the road but whenever he turned to see her singing to her heart's content, with the pink and lilac casted behind her as the sun fell slowly to kiss the horizon, he took a mental picture of it all. Not because of nature's wonders but of her, in all her glory, she was far more captivating than any of the most stunning skies he had ever seen.

"A picture would last you longer, Turner." Ella played, feeling his burning gaze as she scrolled through her music on her phone.

His cheeks heated slightly from being caught, "It would. Quite gutted I'm driving right now."

She blushed but leaned into the console to get closer to him and kissed his cheek, "Your memory better do then."

When they stopped at the restaurant, she came out of the car with a bounce on her step. "Oh thank god! I was starving." she admitted, holding his hand as she rushed them into the place. When the tune of the bell greeted them inside, two heads turned and were quick to say 'hello' and sit them down.

"Alright so," she started, clasping her hands in front of her on top of the table, "My guilty pleasure is Mexican coke and I'm just so lucky that we always have it here in the south so we're getting some first. It's so much better than the American one, far sweeter."

He hummed at her, thinking back to remember if he'd ever had Mexican coke but barely even remembering the last instance he'd had a can of regular coke. So when someone came back to take their orders, the first thing she asked for was two bottles of Mexican coke along with carne asada tacos and chips with guacamole.

They ended up ordering another pair of Cokes to wash down the food. She desperately wanted one to nurse the numbness the hot chili sauce had left on her mouth and when the two new bottles were left on the table, she thanked the waitress and quickly enclosed her fingers around one of them.

Condensation dripped down her palm and wrist, as her swollen red lips found purchase around the tip of the bottle. She took a long sip, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed the carbonated liquid. Alex suddenly wanted to be the bottle, to feel her lips on his in any way he could, to feel them around him. There was nothing he wouldn't do to be in the place of that damn bottle.

It was about an hour, the time they had spent at the restaurant. They paid—he did, despite her arguing with him about it—, and they were on their way back to the venue shortly after. When they got to the theater, they parked by the back entrance and ran inside seeing they only had fifteen minutes left before Alex had to be on stage.

He got waved over by one of the sound guys, telling him they needed him to check his in-ears before it was show time and he promised he'd be over soon, the man leaving after telling him where they were gonna be waiting for him.

She blushed at the tension in the air, she felt it so thick over her like the humidity after a hot summer rainfall. So shyly she held his hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of it. "Thank you for today." her tone was so timid, it made his need to kiss her shyness away even bigger.

He gave her a soft smile, so genuine that it melted her. "I should be the one thanking you, darling. Had the best day."

Someone in the distance shouted his name, and she could've bet money on it being none other than Matt 'Cockblocker' Helders. But before the drummer could've come to completely ruin the moment, she took it in her own hands to seal the day with a golden ribbon.

With a tinge of courage she started, "Well, happy Valentine's day Al." and before he could say it back, she was standing on her tippy toes and pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

For merely a few seconds he felt her plush pink lips on his, they were soft and hot, still a bit swollen from the hot sauce. They were seconds that felt like an eternity but way too short for his own liking. Just that moment felt like it had caused a domino effect that somehow provoked a new universe to be created in space, a new black hole to be born and suck everything around it.

She practically ran off before he could do anything else, following the signs that guided her towards the crowd where she knew Breana would be, like every other gig in the past days.

Matt yelled out his name once again but Alex was just standing in the middle of the hallway staring at the wall with the sensation of her lips still pressed against his.

"What the fuck are you doing just standing there like an absolute melt?" The drummer asked with a frown on his face, watching the clock ticking on the wall in front of him.

Alex sighed, wishing time would stop just so he could sit on the feeling and replay the moment over and over until it was permanently engraved in his mind, frame by frame. "Matt, would you just shut up?"

"What? Was the date bad or–?" Matt inquired, teasingly and ready to annoy his best mate.

The singer sighed and cut him off before he could continue with his taunting, "Shut up Matthew." To which the drummer frowned when he saw the big smile breaking out on Alex's face as he turned around.

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After the band got off stage, they all got back in the tour bus and when the lads had finished taking turns to shower, they suddenly decided it was a night worthy of some wine.

Four bottles of red wine later, Ella found herself giggling away as she rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Their cheeks were flushed due to the alcohol and she felt like she was about to start sweating but she couldn't find it in herself to peel away from his side.

Not that Alex wanted her to, that's why his arm was firmly stuck around her waist as he kept her cuddled into his side. He would pinch her side when she made a dig at him, and rub soothing circles on her stomach over the satin of her top when she would laugh or snuggle further into him.

It was nearly three in the morning when they all started to quiet down and he noticed how Ella seemed to have fallen asleep on his shoulder, face hidden on the crook of his neck.

He couldn't find it in himself to wake her up, that's why he stayed until the latest he could, watching everyone wave him goodnight before disappearing up the steps. Eventually, his eyes started closing as he felt the exhaustion catching up to him. He rubbed her arm, up and down until she started squirming under his touch.

"Darling, shall we go to bed now?"

She mumbled something, her lips brushing against the base of his throat, making him almost shiver.

"Should I carry you to bed?" He suggested, his fingers pinching her side softly as he continued, "Huh? Lazy."

She groaned, "I can walk Al. Just–" she paused to yawn behind her hand, "Gonna keep my eyes closed though, so just guide me yeah?"

He nodded, "Alright." So he did what she had asked, saying "Step, another step, last step." his hands around her waist as he walked behind her and guided her back into the bunk beds. When he slowly opened the door, he noticed Jamie and Nick inside their bunks, snoring away peacefully. Bre and Matt were nowhere to be found but he could bet they were on any of the other beds from the room that followed the one they all slept at. At least they are considerate today, he thought.

When they were in front of her bed, he brushed her hair back and away from her face. "We have arrived at your destination, darling."

She hummed slightly in annoyance as she now had to open her eyes to slide into her resting space. "Thank you," her eyes opened just a tiny bit, hissing at the light hitting her corneas. "Fuck, that's bright."

His chuckle made her smile, a loopy grin before she slid into her bunk. "You comfortable?" Alex asked as she slithered further inside the bunk.

She sighed content to finally be in bed, "Very much so," she poked her head out, squinting to see him and decided she was sleepy enough to not care about what she did anymore so she leaned into him to give him another kiss. A peck that ended up being delivered to the corner of his mouth but he wouldn't complain, not when her voice sounded so mellow when she said "Sweet dreams, Al."

And they were sweet dreams, the ones he had, as he fell asleep with the whole day playing on his mind in a never ending loop that he wasn't getting tired of, and the feeling of her lips on his haunting him.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella woke up the next day with another headache and a long list of questions. The memories of the previous day helped lull the ache in her skull but it only added to every single one of her inquiries and worries. She had no idea if things would change or if it would stay all the same.

That was answered sooner than she expected when she went out to meet everyone after brushing her teeth. It seemed like it all was the same but different at the same time, because he still told her good morning followed by a kiss on her cheek but whatever she felt about the things he did before had grown exponentially, and it was like her stomach was flipping on its own over and over.

It happened throughout the whole day, her insides melting at every single embrace, the kisses on her cheek or her temple, the laughs in her ear. And Alex wasn't too far behind, feeling his insides coat with warmth when she would hug his waist every time he came beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders, the way she'd play with his fingers as she chatted with the guys, how she would brush his hair out of his face when the strands got in his eyes.

They had driven back to Los Angeles that morning, meaning they had arrived at the venue just in time for lunch and they weren't planning on doing anything else other than stay in the greenroom until showtime.

After their meal, the band had done a quick soundcheck before the show. Bre and Ella, cheering for them, playfully telling them they could do better and doing silly little dances that didn't match the songs at all.

Back in the greenroom, they had started drinking and playing truth or dare. Ella had rolled her eyes but agreed to participating, despite being nervous about what she'd be dared to do or say.

It was Nick's turn to choose someone and that person ended up being Ella. Her sigh was heard by the whole group, making them laugh.

"Ella, truth or dare?" The bassist's eyes indicated nothing but trouble.

She sipped on her margarita before choosing, "Truth."

Nick paused for a few seconds before he straightened up and smirked, "What was your worst sexual encounter?"

She blew the air out of her mouth dramatically, "You wanna know the worst worst one?"

Everyone nodded along with Nick, all curious to know.

"Okay, erm– Fuck, alright. Just be ready 'cause it's really bad." She started, putting her drink down on the closest table. "A little preface though, this was back when I was confused and seeing if I actually did like men or if I was just a lesbian so bear with me."

She cleared her throat before she could start and took a deep breath, "It was sophomore year in university, we were all in Florida for spring break and I took the chance to just... Y'know," her cheeks reddened at the thought of saying her motives to her friends, "Fuck around." she finished quietly and they all laughed making her face heat up even more.

"Anyway, so I found this guy at the beach who was really hot and he ended up buying me a drink and whatever. Long story short, he told me he had a room in this hotel across the street and we had both been pretty obvious about our intentions so we went up to his room." They all saw how she grew impossibly redder as she reminisced, "So we got down to it..."

Breana interrupted with a gasp, "He went down on you?"

Ella just shook her head, "I wish." The words left her lips before she could think about them and everyone chuckled at her bluntness. "We were just getting off for a while, you know, dry humping and whatnot until we got to bed." She sighed, grimacing at what was coming next. "We took our clothes off and all, he put a condom on after I asked him to and then he started going at it. Only that he never went inside me..." She trailed off, her voice rising in pitch as she got more embarrassed.

"He was on top and we were basically in missionary, but when he went to, erm– put it in, he just put it between my ass and the bed and started thrusting. Mind you, I wasn't making a single noise because I was genuinely confused while he was moaning like a mad man." She turned to grab her glass back up and take a swig of it, the tequila pushing her to finish the story. "He finished so quick and had the nerve to ask if I had finished, I just stood up, said 'no but probably the duvet did', put my shit back on and left him."

Jamie whistled, "Mental."

Matt had the deepest frown on his face, "How do you not notice it's not in?"

"He said something about that being the reason he doesn't wear condoms as I walked away." Ella shrugged, before taking another sip of her drink. "Thanks to him I almost entirely gave up on men."

Breana snickered then, "Oh, but do tell who gave you back hope."

"That's for you to find out if I choose truth in another turn." Ella winked at the model with rosy cheeks, bluffing as she definitely wasn't choosing truth then because one sex story was enough for the day.

Nick interrupted then, "Alright Ella, who are you choosing now?"

"Jamie." She decided after a few seconds of internal debate. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." The guitarist uttered, taking a sip of his own drink.

"I dare you to reenact for us your favorite position." She had a smirk on her face, wanting to tease the man just for the laugh.

"Can't do it alone though." Jamie argued just to see if that would get him out of the dare.

But to Jamie's dismay, she pointed at the man standing right beside him, "Well you've got Alex right there don't you?"

When Jamie dragged Alex to the settee and pulled him on top of him as he laid on it, the rest of the group started hollering, Matt wolf whistling as Alex hovered above Jamie's lap in a cowgirl position, swinging an imaginary laso above his head.

"I see the vision, Ella." Bre approved playfully between giggles which got her giggling too as she went to retrieve her polaroid camera.

She pointed at the two guys on the sofa and ordered them, "Stay there, I'm taking a picture of this." as she turned the device on, and ten seconds later the shutter had gone off and the picture was getting printed out.

Matt took the opportunity, seeing as Jamie got off the sofa leaving Alex sat there alone, to dare Ella to do the same using Alex as her partner. "Go on then Ella, it's your turn to show us yours."

"Says who? It's Jamie's turn to choose." She chatted back knowing exactly what Matt was trying to do.

But before she could continue, Jamie clocked onto what the drummer was doing and egged her on. "I choose you and you're doing that same dare."

She rolled her eyes, cheeks growing more flushed despite them being already pink from the alcohol. Her legs hit the sofa and she laid on it just like Jamie had done, only she pressed her feet on the settee but before she lifted her hips up, she grabbed Alex's hand and guided him on top of her.

He was about to tease her, about to say 'Oh so you like being on the bottom?' when she knocked the breath out of his lungs by saying, "Hop on, you be me." loud enough for everyone to hear and gasp in shock.

Once Alex was on top of her, she pushed his hands to be just above her shoulders so his chest was almost pressed against her and his collarbone was straight on top of her face. She lifted her hips up and pressed them on his ass for a quick second, winking at him before dropping back down.

Matt was quick to comment, with a heavy smirk on his face. "Oh she is dirty."

Nick followed, "Naughty!"

And Jamie topped it all off by asking, "How long have you been thinking about that one? You worked that out with Alex really quick."

She hid behind her hands, her palms feeling the growing heat on her whole face. "I'm never drinking with y'all ever again."

Everyone laughed away, even Alex but he did it in her ear as he dropped further into her fully sitting on her lap.

"Uncover your face for me darling." He ordered with such a raspy voice she wanted to squeeze her thighs together but she couldn't so she just did as he said. He smirked, pulling back a few inches to see her from that angle, all flustered and with her hair disheveled over the settee. What a stunning view.

"That's it." His eyes looked at her adoringly and she felt like she was melting onto the settee under his gaze, but Ella completely froze and burnt over at the same time when Alex whispered to her, "Good girl."

As if he hadn't just said that, he got up and walked over to get another cup of whiskey. She was left gathering her thoughts on the sofa, head all scrambled and her very human needs screaming at her to do something about the man.

She got up eventually, Breana winking at her as she walked past her and to the table which had the bottle of tequila. She needed a shot, or two. So she poured them and downed them instantly, needing herself to calm down.

After that moment, it felt like everything had gotten even more intense. Maybe it was the sexual tension suffocating them whilst they were in the same room and she wondered if their friends around them could feel it too.

Alex would come up behind her and hug her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he rubbed circles on the skin that showed in between her black dress pants and her shirt. Ella would relax in his arms, drowning in his scent as she indulged in the sweetness of his touch.

He would press kisses to her face before he went anywhere, brushing his fingers on her arm or her waist as he walked past. She would turn over her shoulder to see him and scrunch her nose at him before leaving a peck on his cheek that made a toothy grin break out on his face.

She was drinking it all in, knowing that the next day, when her coworkers from the crew came over to the venue for the gig and later on they moved to the place they'd film at, she would force herself to distance herself from Alex just to appear professional and not have everyone talking and asking questions.

That's why that night, she was in front of the barricade beside Breana recording every single bit of the gig that her phone allowed her. He had noticed, of course he had, since he spent most of the time on stage looking at her so he decided to tease her for a bit.

"You ready? You recording?" Alex asked into the mic with his eyes on her and everyone in the crowd looked to their left to see her.

Her eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights so she just lowered her phone down with her signature pink cheeks.

He wanted to coo at her, "No, no. Record this one, it's your favorite." The singer added before he put the mic back on its stand and started playing 'Teddy Picker'.

She had recorded it all and when she went back to see the videos before falling asleep, she found every glance he took at her forever captured, every point of his finger as he sang, every little dance of his that she knew where the one's she had made fun of him for. She had it all.

And just as she had predicted, the next and last day of the little tour had arrived, making her wake up melancholic. She savored every hug, every feel of his lips against her skin, every graze of his fingers on her body, before her bosses and coworkers got to the venue.

When the Focus Creep crew arrived, a few hours before the show, Alex instantly noticed the change in her behavior and he knew why that was, so he would respect it. He kept to stolen glances and fleeting touches, no constant kisses on her cheek or her temple, no hugging her every chance he got but definitely some embraces here and there.

The limited affection had already sparked questions and talks from her coworkers so he understood her position, which he had heard in echoes and passing comments, and on top of that was Ben who attentively was watching them and then smirking at Alex like he knew exactly what was happening.

Ella had decided to be a part of the crowd that night, standing almost in the middle of the crowd, about five rows from the barricade but she had a perfect view of the stage so she wasn't complaining. Some of her friends from work stood beside her and Breana did too, they all had a drink in hand, sipping absentmindedly as they waited for the show to start.

When they had all finished their drinks is when the band had gone on stage, causing the sea of people to push forward and make her stumble. He had found her in between all the faces fairly quickly, winking at her before greeting the audience and starting the gig.

She knew by then that the sixth song was always one he would sing looking at her since she loved it, so before they were due to start it she puckered up and blew a cheeky kiss to him when his eyes had landed on her.

He smiled before puckering up himself and blowing her multiple kisses. Bre shook her by her shoulders and shrieked in her ear very not subtly, making her wince inside but her smile couldn't be brighter and she couldn't care less if her work friends had seen, because she was incredibly happy.

She was sure by the end of the night she'd grow the courage to properly kiss him. Finally.

So with that goal set in her mind, she kept going about her night with a smile and a skip in her step. She had a beaming smile on her face even as she picked her blue clipboard and saw the massive list of things she had to make sure were in order for the shoot.

The location in which they were filming had only been ten minutes away, and they had come to it almost ready. There was a car which looked the exact same as the one on the Black Treacle music video and about twenty feet in front of it, by the end of a dirt trail, was a circular spinning platform that was homing a drum kit made to look exactly like Matt's on stage.

Around the place were tents in which Matt and Alex were being touched up to be ready for filming, and two tents down the row from the lads were the models getting their makeup done and changed into costume. Caroline and Arielle were the lovely models and Ella had just introduced herself to them before she got called away by one of the camera men.

When Ella went back to the tents to check up on the models, she walked past Alex and Arielle chatting away a few feet away from the tents and beside the big lights that were up around the site, soft smiles on both their faces as they dove into conversation. She felt a small pinch in her chest, one that she decided to ignore the best she could because Alex was a nice person, he was kind and welcoming and she had no reason to feel and react that way at the fact that he was only talking to someone else who she had heard was his friend.

Her feet took her to check up on Caroline who was almost ready, and Matt who was getting his hair fixed. She instructed both of them to go back into the filming area as soon as they were done so the filming could be started.

After that she left to go stand beside Nick, talking to him about random stuff like how long it usually took the crew to set up shoots like that or how Nick had been doing with the wedding planning as she'd heard him on the phone in the morning with Kelly.

When the four people who were gonna appear in the video were ready, Ella told them to follow her up to the directors. Ben and Aaron told them they would rehearse a few goes before properly filming the whole thing, since it was a single-shot video and it would be filmed by Alex and Matt at the start.

First went Alex and Matt, to get instructed exactly what they should do when they got in the car and how they got out, the musicians brainstorming the things they could do whilst they filmed themselves in the car.

As they went over and over again, for about six or seven times, Ella had been standing next to Arielle. They had been talking about lots of things: Arielle's modeling career, Ella's photography hobby, how Arielle had been auditioning for a few commercials and small acting gigs, how Ella had moved to LA and a year later landed a job with Ben and Aaron. The girls had gotten on fairly well, following each other on Instagram and laughing about the things Alex and Matt were doing in front of the camera.

After that, Ella got called over as the two brits got let off after almost half an hour. Matt had gotten off the car and gave her a smile, Alex side hugged her quickly before walking off with the drummer. She had smiled back at him when he let go but he missed it as his eyes were set on the model standing a few feet behind the PA, his smile being directed towards Arielle rather than her.

She had had to act cool, as if that minimal detail wasn't begging to claim her every thought, nodding as her bosses told her to stay close and annotate as they gave instructions to the crew on set.

Someone drove the car back down the dirt trail, Ben guiding the two cameramen on the angles he wanted to be captured and the setting on the light. Ella had helped move some of the lights, her eyes focused on Aaron as he moved his hands from side to side and sometimes rotating them.

Her eyes had slipped in Alex's direction a fair few times and she had noticed just how much closer Arielle and him looked, as they didn't leave each other's side even if she got called over by the makeup department or he was called over by Ben to ask if he was alright with that angle and the timing.

By the time she was done with the lights, Ella had gotten sent to check if the platform was spinning correctly, she pressed the button and as she heard it turn she also heard Alex's voice a tad louder than the creaks of the spinning object.

"So have you got a map?" He asked Arielle, his shoulder brushing the model's.

Arielle frowned with a smile on her face, "Of LA?" The singer nodded quickly, "No I don't, why?" she had asked back just as quickly.

"Just wanted one 'cause I keep getting lost in your eyes." Hiss tone was cheeky, and Arielle let out a bubbly laugh. Her perfect smile on full display as she nudged Alex's shoulder with hers.

"That was a nice one." Arielle had replied back, still smiling hard at him.

Ella had spun the platform back around by the time she had heard the end of the interaction and she rolled her eyes before walking back to the directors. She couldn't be annoyed though, she had no right to be, he was probably just being funny like he always was.

Breathe in, breathe out, she told herself.

As the directors went over to Nick to tell him exactly how he'd be sitting in the back between the two models, Matt came to stand beside Ella. Her eyes were glued to the scene in front of her as Arielle was still very much stuck beside the singer and he was leaning into her more and more making her laugh.

"Seems like you make a great matchmaker." lightheartedly joked the drummer, looking at the same thing she was.

She frowned, confused as she turned to Matt, "What do you mean?" Matt pointed at Alex and Arielle with a tilt of his chin and she frowned even deeper before adding, "It wasn't my decision to choose her."

It was Matt's turn to frown then, "Whose was it then?"

"Well I was told by your team she was selected by you because you already knew her."

Matt sighed, "We've seen her a couple times in artists sections in festivals, yes, but the only one who was a slight bit more of an acquaintance with her is Alex."

Ella hummed, "That answers the question then, doesn't it?" She finished up, a tight lip smile that was way too forced and Matt started to feel bad. It got worse when Arielle broke out in a very loud laugh that had Alex covering her mouth with his hand, fully hugging her as they swayed from her weak attempts to break from his hold.

Ella's heart was sinking, but she had to remind herself she had no leg to stand on to go and complain about his behavior, to be openly jealous about it because nothing serious had happened between her and Alex. At least not serious enough for him, if he was going around acting this way with Arielle after being so close with her the week before.

Ben called everyone to their places, meaning Ella saw Arielle and Alex separate for the first time in thirty minutes. She had no idea what to think anymore, the way he was acting with the model reminded her how he was with her and she hated it.

She tried to push it in her mind that he and Arielle were friends already, so maybe there was a trust to act that way with each other. She tried, but it did nothing to the way her guts twisted at the image of those two together like that.

They did one take but something had seemed off from the cameras, the settings seemed too different from the car to the outside shot so the directors got to fixing it up the quickest they could after they yelled cut.

Out of the corner of her eye she had caught Alex and Arielle leaving for the furthest tent and getting behind it, her giggles could be heard as they walked away from everyone and she slowly felt like she was going to be sick.

It took about ten minutes to get it all sorted out, Ben's voice called everyone up again to start filming again and everyone listened. Aaron called the models in first, giving them a second rundown of their duties and how they should get in frame. As the director talked, Alex had walked over to Ella and hugged her from behind like he had gotten used to throughout the tour.

Ella hadn't want anything more than that, as she had been deprived of his touch for a fair while since they had gotten to the set, but when she tried to relax into his chest and rest her head on his shoulder, she had smelt the model's perfume and it had make her freeze in her spot. Alex had felt her tense up but brushed it off, his mind too aware that he had the attention of two stunning women and it had gotten his ego boosted up a little too high.

She didn't reciprocate the embrace like before: only one of her hands on top of his, her back inches apart from his chest, her head not weighing down on his shoulder, no kisses on his cheek, no cheeky glances or nose scrunches. But he didn't really wonder about it since he was too busy staring at the other American girl that was dressed in costume right in front of him. A few seconds later, he got called over and he easily let go of Ella, leaving her with a faint squeeze of her waist.

She had noticed how enthusiastic he got every time he was able to get back beside the model, always a smirk on his face as he kept brushing shoulders with her or whispering things in her ear before he got in the car for each take.

Alex was looking amazing for the shoot as well, meaning Ella could see Arielle so painfully obvious checking Alex out and him doing the same to the model when she turned around.

It was probably the twelfth official take they had done, almost running off of the flares the models walked with to the drum kit as they kept repeating the video over and over. The new song that she had already learned the lyrics to, now completely engraved in her mind since they had it playing on loop with almost no breaks in between each play.

The question now replayed in her mind, bringing back memories. Are you mine? His gaze stuck on hers while singing the chorus. Are you mine? Her wink after she sang 'are you mine tomorrow? Or just mine tonight' that night at the very last gig, making his smirk grow and a tinge of blush show on his face. Are you mine? His eyes no longer on her now, but stuck on Arielle even when he had her in his arms. Are you mine? Ella just wanted to turn the song off to stop it all coming to the forefront of her mind.

They were about to start the thirteenth take, after the directors went over the last bit of footage the last take had given them, when she walked past the quiet place Arielle and Alex were cooped up in. It was near a corner, behind a line of four big lights and away enough from everyone from the crew. Ella had been walking around the site, the edges of it taking her straight behind them, and that's why she had heard them.

"I've got another question..." Alex had started with that tone that meant he was gonna say one of his cheesy flirt lines and Ella just had to stay and listen to what he'd say, she thought her head was cooler by then and she might find it funny but she had no idea what she was about to get. "How does it feel like being the most gorgeous girl in the room?"

Ella's blood ran cold then, the familiar words coming back to her like a bucket of ice cold water and as Arielle giggled and leaned into him touching his arm, she felt herself feeling faint.

She didn't even think about her following actions, as she scoffed much louder than she anticipated but still quiet enough for it to only be heard by her and the other two. Her feet took her faster than she was thinking, accidentally barging into Alex's shoulder as she made a beeline towards her bosses.

He whipped his head around so fast, forgetting about the model beside him and catching a glimpse of Ella's pale complexion. But his worry was brief as he turned back around to the model, who was now fully leaning into him to continue flirting with him. A smile broke out on his face, seeing Arielle's reaction.

Ella felt like those fifteen feet of walk had actually been a whole mile, her heart hammering in her chest as if trying to keep her up until she could finally break down. As soon as she got beside Ben, she tapped his shoulder. The man saw her worried face, the lack of color on it and he got preoccupied.

"Are you alright Ella?" Ben asked softly, his inquiry making Aaron pause what he was doing to check on their PA.

She sighed, feeling everything coming up her throat and wanting to leave her body. "I'm not feeling well guys, I– I, uhm, I think it would be better if I just go home."

Aaron nodded, they didn't have much left anyways and Ella was so dedicated to her job, they knew that if she was asking to leave, it was because of something serious. "Of course, you have a way to get home?"

She thought about her car, being parked at the hotel an hour away from home but she'd take a taxi. She didn't care anymore, she just didn't want to be there. "Yes, someone is coming to get me, don't worry."

And just like that they let her go. She practically ran to the Monkeys' tour bus to retrieve everything she had there, and she thanked the fact that Bre had to leave right after the show for having encouraged her to have her suitcase ready well before the gig.

Ella called a cab company and told them to pick her up at a McDonald's that was a block away. As she walked, she felt like she wanted to cry and it infuriated her even more. Because why would she cry? They weren't anything at all, a date didn't mean shit apparently and much less would the touches they shared.

She cursed herself for getting attached when she knew she shouldn't have. It all came back to who they were, even if he hadn't done what he had that night, by the end of it she'd be getting dropped off at her house and he'd be leaving to travel around the world. It would've never worked out.

When she remembered how she had strived to properly kiss him goodbye that night, before they parted ways once again, she allowed herself to let the tears fall. And she cried on the way back home, when she saw their photo booth pictures sticking out of the inside pocket of her purse.

She wanted to throw it away but she couldn't, that's what she did when somebody hurt her: cling onto every last beautiful thing they gave her even if the memory stung like a wound being sprayed with salt. She was half tempted to burn it as she lit the cigarette she had just placed between her lips before finding the pictures but when she flipped it, she found something written down.

'only the sweetest of dreams for you, miss tennessee xxxx'

It came over her how every sweet memory of him would taste bitter now, and how it would up until the moment she'd finally decide she was over it. And that's when it all started tasting more bitter, and then it turned sour and her sadness turned into anger.

The audacity he had had, to just drop her like a toy he had gotten bored of, and maybe he had had other intentions but seeing how shy she was and how he wasn't getting anywhere, he decided to change her the first chance he got.

And there it was, that feeling of being so easily replaceable dawning over her head like the darkest cloud in the sky that swore to bring the heaviest precipitation of the year. The heartache she had felt when she got cheated over by the one person she swore was the one, and it was insane to her how she could feel a similar way about someone she knew for so little doing her wrong too. But she couldn't downplay it either, not when it opened a wound back up that had taken so long to close.

In her head she was asking herself repeatedly, 'am I that easy to replace?' until each word lost its meaning but the feeling was still the same, if not worse.

She cried a little more when she got home, feeling the familiar walls like an embrace that she longed for. The tears were falling as she showered, slowly and without permission, making her wipe them with more force than necessary, leaving her cheeks red raw. But it had been slightly relieving to cry under the shower for she confused her tears with the water falling over her and it made her feel less pathetic.

By the time she was out of the shower and she slowly finished getting ready to sleep, the filming had been wrapped up. The crew were quick to pick everything up and load it into the production company's coach.

Matt walked over to Alex, who was too busy staring at Arielle's ass as she walked away to get out of costume that he didn't notice his presence until he cleared his throat.

"Y'Alright?" asked Matt, still confused about his friend's antics throughout the day.

Alex nodded with a tight lip smile, "You?"

"Wonderful." The drummer answered, a slight hint of irony in his voice that the singer decided to ignore.

The both of them had stayed quiet, watching the organized chaos going around. And it wasn't until Alex saw Ben with Ella's blue clipboard as he waved goodbye to them that he realized she was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Ella?" The singer seemed worried, it dawning on him then how he hadn't seen her since she barged into him.

Matt shrugged, "Dunno. She left running earlier and the driver said she got her case from the bus."

Alex's heart dropped, thinking about all the endless possibilities of something happening to her, "I'm gonna text her and see if she's okay."

"Well, she probably isn't after she's played cupid against herself." Matt sassily replied.

Alex frowned, "What do you mean?"

Matt sighed, almost annoyed at his best mate's lack of common sense, "Mate, there was something there between you two after Valentine's day, and tonight you've just gone and switched her for Arielle."

"No I haven't. Me and Arielle, that's just banter." He explained back like it was obvious.

The drummer didn't want to get deeper into the situation, he had already said what he had seen and all that was left was for his friend to realize so, "Whatever you say Al." was all he mustered before leaving him, going straight back to their tour bus.

Ten minutes Alex was left thinking, taking the first few minutes to text Ella and the rest to thoroughly think about what Matt had just said. He knew she must've heard him talking to Arielle and maybe it wasn't the best of things to listen to after everything that had happened during the past week but it was just lighthearted banter to him, a joke to keep them entertained during the filming process.

It was all a misunderstanding and he would tell her if that's what she had gotten upset over. Surely it has to be something else though, he thought.

(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x

(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx

(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx

(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx

(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx

Their drive to LAX had been going fine. They were relatively quiet in comparison to how they usually were but it was because they were tired: the days of tour, driving and walking around plus the late night filming had caught up to them. Alex was mixing his concern about Ella with his exhaustion making it even worse, the sways of the tour bus not helping with the headache he could feel brewing in the back of his skull.

Alex's thoughts were interrupted then by Matt laughing at his phone, the light of his device reflecting on his eyes.

(16/02/2012 23:32) Is everything good Ella? Saw you running to leave the set.

(16/02/2012 23:48) Everything is good Matt! Sorry for leaving like that and not saying bye, I was feeling kinda sick and I couldn't keep it together any longer. (Feel like a bitch for not saying goodbye knowing I'm not going to see you for god knows how long :()

(16/02/2012 23:48) Yeah probably not the best to have you projectile vomiting in the middle of our music video!! (You don't have to feel like one, you're one already xxxx)

(16/02/2012 23:49) You're the absolute worst...

(16/02/2012 23:49) HAHA love you Ellie!! Hope to see you very soon xx

(16/02/2012 23:49) Love you too dickhead. See you soon xx

Before Alex could complain about the unnecessary noise coming from Matt, he informed them all, "Ella's fine, she was just feeling ill." which made Alex snap his eyes open to look at him.

Jamie snorted then, cheekily suggesting, "Ask her if she's sure she isn't pregnant."

Leaning over Matt's shoulders, Nick and Jamie started laughing as the drummer's fingers started typing what the guitarist had said.

Alex frowned, not only at his friends acting like kids but at the fact that Ella had replied to Matt and not him. There wasn't a day she didn't reply to him within minutes if she was awake. He thought for a second then that he might've gotten a reply but hadn't noticed it, so to make sure he unlocked his phone.

But he hadn't expected what he saw, and he thought back to what Matt had said and just how bad of a confusion the end of the night had been when he was met with the proof that she had just plainly ignored him.

(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x

(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx

(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx

(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx

(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx

read at 23:41

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A/N: Uh oh... Well now I don't even know if I should ask if you liked it hahaha, but I really hope you did. Shit only gets more interesting from here so I hope you lot are just as eager as me to see how it unfolds. Thanks a million for reading, I appreciate it so much!! I hope you have the best weekend and I'll see you April 7th for the next one xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @red---moon @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #alex #turner #arctic monkeys #alex turner arctic monkeys #alex turner fanfiction #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fluff #alex turner one shot #alex turner blurb #alex turner drabble #alex turner imagine #alex turner x you #alex turner x y/n #matt helders #nick omalley #jamie cook

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hepatosaurus · 10 months ago

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2023 AO3 Wrapped!

I had a lot of fun tracking my fic reading in 2022, so... I did it again in 2023! Still fun, still both completely unsurprising and a little illuminating at the same time. I definitely read less fic this past year—only 77 across 12 fandoms, compared to last year's 110—but that's OK. Life happens, and I'm very aware that I'm never going to be a person who reads a million words per month (or 100 books a year). Stats-wise, I can't guarantee that these numbers are completely accurate, but they feel right and that's what counts.

Word Count

971,646 words! Numbers fluctuated throughout the year with one real dead zone (lol @ June - I was busy! sibling got married! played a lot of Zelda!), and I kind of petered out by the end of the year. On the plus side, my brain can handle reading actual books again, which was fun. On the minus side: less fic. Oh well. (Also: May's number isn't entirely accurate, but I had to put rubicon's final word count somewhere. No, I haven't finished reading the complete edited fic yet, but that's when the last chapter draft hit my inbox, soooo there.) Most fics were on the shorter side, unsurprisingly (average length was ~12k); I think rubicon was the only one over 100k. I did read more 50–100k fic compared to last year though, which was nice.

(Putting the rest behind a cut. Obligatory warning that this is mostly about Fire Emblem, but what else is new?)

Top Fandoms

My FE3H reading took a HUGE hit this year, falling from 87.3% to... 83.1%. Ouch, how will my faves recover. Really though, this was yet another reminder that although I certainly watched and loved a lot of new movies and tv shows, read new books, played new video games (ok, it was mostly BOTW/TOTK), all things that could conceivably lead me to check out greener pastures, I am still in an extremely monofandom phase in terms of actual fic reading/fandom participation (four years now!). And honestly, I'm fine with that! I'm having fun, blorbos are still my blorbos, there's still a ton of fic I haven't read yet (new and old), and I'm in a nice/quiet/drama-free corner of fandom. Besides, the average fandom lifespan is too short these days anyway. I'm doing my part to break the cycle. :P

I do wish I had the brain space to read a little more widely, though. I was so close to going on a zelink bender after I finished BOTW, but life got busy and it just... didn't happen. Maybe in 2024. Severance and fandom juggernaut SoftBank Next 30-Year Vision tried their best—two fics each! impressive, lol—but the heart wants what it wants, and what it wants is anime chess pieces kissing (and/or killing) each other.

Top Authors

56 individual authors, with the top spot going to...desmodus! which does not surprise me tbh; they write such good fic. Looking at these particular results was an interesting reminder that I'm really not someone who methodically/voraciously reads through an author's entire back catalogue, at least not currently. Like, besides the named authors, there were four more with two fics each and the rest had only one each. Next time, I'm almost tempted to see if I can factor in word count to get a better idea of how much time I really spent reading each author, especially since I might (hypothetically) read multiple forgettable 1–5k fics by Author A, and then a single memorable/meaty 95k fic by Author B that sticks with me for years. Is Author A really more of a "top" author? Not really. That's more work on my part though, so we'll see what happens. (All of this waffling could be solved by making an actual rec list for once, but shhhhh.)

Top Pairings

Surprising absolutely no one, I'm still in sylvix hell. Congrats to None for jumping a couple spots in the rankings, though! A solid showing. I need to get better at tracking platonic relationships, but to be fair, those tags are underutilized on AO3 to begin with (or not used consistently), and I typically—but not always—stick with the main tags chosen by the author.

Also, please note that the ship in sixth place was entirely thanks to alphabetical sorting (it was a six-way tie), but I'm keeping it as is because it makes me laugh/implies some sort of character growth on my part that may or may not exist.

Top Characters

Lol. In my defense(?), Sylvain did drop almost three whole points this year; he couldn't even hit 60%! What kind of blorbo...?! Jokes aside, it's an entirely expected list. My Blue Lions/Golden Deer bias persists, but I'm not sure what determined when I logged "Blue Lions Students" vs. their actual names—probably half laziness, half just following what the author picked. I did love seeing Ask A Manager's Allison Green chilling at the bottom of this list with Bakugo, though. I'm sure she'll be fine. (And god knows Mr. King Explosion Murder and the rest of my top 20 could stand to follow her advice.)

(Also: apologies to Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, as I see his illustrious surname was cut off accidentally. Forgive me.)

Ratings, Categories, etc.

Also pretty unsurprising! I considered cutting my NSFW tracker at the beginning of last year since it's a little redundant, but that never happened. It might come in handy one day, especially if I'm looking through my spreadsheet for individualized recs. I was surprised that the Multi category was so low, but that could be due to inconsistencies in how people tag their fic? And/or how I logged them. Sometimes it means poly, but sometimes it just means that there are multiple kinds of ships in a fic. Either way, it's something to consider for 2024's tracker. Consistency! Let's strive for it! ✨

Tags & Tropes

Also about what I expected, though I was honestly shocked to see Established Relationship ranking so high? And Friends to Lovers so low? What is going ON here. (The former is probably partially due to mikey desmodus's excellent married sylvix fics.) Sorry to Horse Feelings, though; I made a dedicated tag on my google form and everything, but there was only the one fic in the end :(

Etc: Commenting, Rereading, Reccing, and Bookmarks

Commenting: My only real fic-reading "goal" in 2023 was to get my commenting percentage up to at least 50% and...I did that! Just barely, but 51.9% is 51.9%. Obsessive media tracking works!

Rereads: As expected, and pretty in line with last year (with a tiny increase). I'm just not a big rereader in general, though I did do a fair bit of rereading WIPs to prepare for new chapters. (Not sure how I classified those, come to think of it...)

Bookmarks: Also pretty similar to last year (with a tiny decrease).

Reccing: Now this DID surprise me. That "Yes" percentage seems almost absurdly high, jumping from 46.4% to 61%, and my "No"s dropped a ton too (22.7% to 5.2%). Either I got nicer or I just read better fic. :P Leaning towards the former, but probably a bit of both tbh. My one DNF was a longfic WIP that didn't spark joy and was becoming a hateread, which is rare for me - byeeeee.

Takeaways

By now my tracking form has become part of my fic-reading routine (read - track - comment/etc), and I can't see that changing any time soon. Obviously not everyone wants to (or should!) engage with fic this way, and I can definitely see how it might suck the joy out of reading for some people, but for me, it's been a good mental exercise and a really helpful commenting aid. Also, it's just fun. I like thinking critically about media! I like having a place to record my silly little thoughts about the silly little fanfics I read! All in all, I highly recommend doing something similar if you, like me, get a rush from making lists and compiling data, and if you like complimenting people but sometimes need that extra push to actually tell them and post a comment.

Goals-wise... I don't really do those lol. Probably to continue commenting and maybe try to read more widely, but honestly I'm probably not going to change my habits intentionally. Besides, looking at what I've read so far, yes, it's already half Fire Emblem, but also half gen and half F/F with nary a Sylvain in sight*! We got History Boys, we got Haikyuu filk, we got Ingrid and a MILF! Who knows what's around the corner?

(*This is quite literally only because I haven't logged rubicon yet. Don't worry, he's coming.)

#fandom #fic tracking #ao3 wrapped #fandom navelgazing ahoy!#and fire emblem obviously.#also a bit of a rehash for anyone who follows my fe twt but i get to ramble more here

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starflake-burning · 11 months ago

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I saw @antimony-medusa doing ao3 stats, and since I have not made very many og posts on this blog after making a new multifandom blog, I'm using this as a opportunity to update everyone here on what I posted this year to ao3 :)

I'm going to be blatantly ripping off Medusa's format for this.

Overall stats for 2023

--User Subscriptions: 119

--Kudos: 5,606

--Comment Threads: 306

--Bookmarks: 1,618

--Subscriptions: 846

--Word Count: 174,435

--Hits: 64,821

Everything is almost the same, except for a decrease in kudos. That makes perfect sense since I wrote a couple of rarepairs in fandoms that are less hyped about multishipping.

My user subscriptions have basically stayed the same since I started posting, likely because I organize fics down into different series so that people can sub to those instead.

Fun Stats:

Total number of fics published: 40

This was my most prolific year of fic writing! For reference, my total number of fics posted EVER is 53. I wrote a lot of short fics as treats for two different extreme timed challenge exchanges. I also got into several new fandoms this year.

Number of One-shots: 24

There's the exchange fics coming in clutch! And also the bushel of smutshots (oneshots that are pwp) that I wrote for new fandoms I got into and got very excited about writing smut for.

Number of Multichapters (Including WIPs): 14

Some oneshots become twoshots. Some multichapters had planned chapter counts and many did not.

Number of WIPs (aka unfinished works): 4

Of these, one is the most recent fic I have posted, which is being actively written and updated. One is being co-written with someone else. And the others are one hiatus.

Number of Inspired Works: 1

My total number of inspired works ever is 2. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have plenty of ideas to work with on my own.

Longest Fic: Stealing Candelabras (10,797).

Most of my works this year were under 10k, and a lot of them were even under 1k. I started the year short and ended it long. And I anticipate writing much more longfic this year. This one was long because I love vampires and making up vampire lore.

Shortest Fic: shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when i saw your face (476). A very cute prompt that I had to fill. Title courtesy of my partner's suggestion, since they love the song so much :)

Most Kudosed fic: On the Twelfth Day of Christmas My Twin Sons Gave to Me: The Child Spy of My Enemy (586).

:/ Ah yes the last vesitges of my Dark SBI era. Not my favorite thing I've written, but it has it's audience.

The second most kudosed is The Care and Keeping of Your Vash (406). I love you trigun fandom <3

Most Viewed Fic: Same as most kudosed! But those stats do build up over time so I'm gonna highlight my fifth most view fic that was only posted a couple months ago as opposed to almost a year ago: When I'm On the Throne it's a Total Freak Zone (3,366). My second foray into exploring a character being a soft dom.

Most Subscribed Fic: Same as the most kudosed and most viewed. To be fair it had the format of the twelve day countdown to Christmas, so it hooked people into sticking around.

Most Bookmarked Fic: Same one again. My second most bookmarked was Shot Through the Heart, and You're to Blame (110). Arguably my best trigun fic, I love writing monsterfucker porn, especially as part of a larger canon divergent au. Double points for also getting to write a trans headcanon.

Most Used Fandom: Dream SMP, at 13. But if you combine all the fics for books by the same author (MXTX), it comes out to 12, which is pretty close!

Least Used Fandom: There's a couple I've only written one work for so...

1. Big Dragon the Series. This is a tiny fandom for a BL drama that I am co-writing a fic for. If you go searching for this show MIND THE WARNINGS. It is very intense from episode one so proceed with caution.

2. SMP Earth. I wish I got into this fandom when it was more popular, Now I don't know where to find the stream archives to get into the lore :(

3. Supernatural. I came back to this fandom this year only to post a trans character study of Dean and then leave it again lol.

Most Used Rating: E, 15 fics.

Like I said, I wrote a lot of smutshots lol. Second place is Teen, at 11 fics.

Least Used Rating: Mature, 0. Alternatively, Gen, at 9.

None of my fics are rated Mature this year because I discovered the wonders of smut and I can no longer do things by halves.

Most Written Relationship: Still SBI, but Quackbur is a close second.

Most Used Additional tag: I can't be bothered to look through all of this year's fics right now, but for the E rated ones I'm 90% sure it's Biting. As I've been quoted saying "biting is sexy!"

Most Frequently Used Characters: Again, SBI wins out. Though I think of all of them I have more fics with Techno than the others. (Again, too lazy to look through 40 fics right now lol).

Hopefully this was fun for someone else, because it certainly was illuminating for me. I'm much more active on my @cosmic-starfall blog nowadays but I'm still doing mcyt stuff occasionally here as well :)

#starry speaks #end of year ao3 stats

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spaceclefairy · 2 years ago

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The Gentle Art of Making Enemies, Ch. 16

Pairing: Michael de Santa/ OFC; Trevor Philips/OFC; Michael de Santa/OFC/Trevor Philips; Michael de Santa/Trevor Philips

Summary: Los Santos is a hellscape, but if you’ve got brains and a little determination, it can be a real hell of a playground. Michael needs money, Trevor needs whatever Trevor wants, and Franklin’s moving up in Los Santos. Jen’s just along for the ride.

This is gonna be fun.

Author’s Note: I’ve been writing this beast of a thing since 2013. It’s been through a thousand different incarnations, but it’s been in my drafts for the last six years. I realize this fandom isn’t as popular as it used to be, but I might as well have a little fun and finally start posting it.

Also, not to be that bitch, but this is on Ao3. I would very much appreciate kudos/comments, if you’re so inclined!

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8 || Part 9 || Part 10 || Part 11 || Part 12 || Part 13 || Part 14 || Part 15

--- --- --- --- ---

Lester’s contacts came through beautifully.

When Jen arrived at her office the next morning, the only people in the office were her own employees, peacefully doing their jobs. There were no IAA interns rummaging through her files, no IAA agents stalking her employees through the halls, no IAA agents sniffing and smirking or lauding their hierarchy. Possibly better still, absolutely no sign of an FIB agent could be found.

Jen grinned as she strode through the office, clicking away in her tall, tall heels - there would be silence today, for at least a brief little while. Mary at the front desk handed Jen a stack of mail as she entered the office, smiling politely. She’d seen the news that morning, pleased that she no longer had to keep tentatively looking for a new job. The rest of Jen’s employees waved and greeted her as she walked by each office heading to her own.

Absolutely beautiful.

Wonderful, beautiful silence for a brief little while. Brief, being the operative word.

Jen had no sooner sat down to begin her day when her phone started ringing. She grinned as she looked at the glass screen - Dave Norton, right on time.

She answered. "Howdy, Dave."

Dave's voice crackled out as a scandalized huff. "What did you do?"

Jen stifled a chuckle. All the years of maintaining decorum despite immense displeasure had given her a stellar poker face. "What are you talking about, Dave?"

"The shitstorm going down on Weazel News? Breakdown of election results being published? Covers blown? Ring a bell?"

"I haven't turned on Weazel this morning, so that’s news to me. Come to think of it, though, it's awfully quiet in the office for once," Jen observed. "Look, Dave. I've got a massive murder trial in a few weeks. It’s all I can do to get out of bed in the morning some days. Where would I find the time to do all that? Or get the resources?"

"Oh, stop. I know who you know," Dave snapped. "Good Lord, Jen! We told you we would handle it!"

“Well, it’s been handled now,” Jen replied simply, stifling a giggle with the back of her hand. "What are you complaining about anyway? I’m watching Weazel now. Looks like it was only IAA info that got leaked, not FIB."

"Be that as it may," Dave huffed, "But now the higher-ups are talking about a government-wide review of all personnel."

"Wouldn't hurt, I'm sure."

"Need I remind you that if I get tapped, so does your boyfriend?" Dave grumbled.

To be fair, Dave had a point. His career-making takedown of one Michael Townley hadn’t come without a price.

"More threats, Dave? Come on, we’re on the same side. That’s not your style."

Dave sighed. “It’s a warning, Jen. You should have let me handle it."

"I had nothing to do with it,” Jen lied. “Check your sources."

"I will,” Dave snapped. "Now, I’m going to go clean up this mess. You better pray Steve doesn’t start snooping around in my files. And be careful, please."

"I'm always careful."

Jen hung up the phone and cackled while she dialed Lester’s number. She really liked Dave, truly. If he put half as much work into actually being a good agent as he put into pretending to be a good agent, he might have had a shot at being director once upon a time. But Dave, deep down, wanted glory without putting the work in. And that mindset, in Jen’s experience, was easily exploitable.

Lester picked up on the first ring. Jen could hear the crackle of Weazel News in the background. No doubt the nefarious little nerd was enjoying the spectacle that was the product of his handiwork.

"Lester, I could kiss you!"

He snorted. "Keep it to yourself. I don't want your boyfriends beating down my door."

"You'd let me if I tried."

"Probably,” Lester conceded, “Oh, and you’re welcome."

“As always, my friend, I appreciate our time together,” Jen replied in her sweetest voice. "Also, I'm sending you the recording of the call Dave Norton made just now in case we need a little… insurance. Thanks again."

Jen hung up and tossed her phone onto her desk. The pleasure of silence was golden. She could focus on actually doing her job now rather than monitoring agents and babysitting her staff. She could get ready for all the cases coming up, get this mess of a murder trial off the ground… She might even get to go home on time today.

Huh. Now, there’s an idea. Getting home on time meant Jen might be able to get Michael to come over, maybe even spend the night. He had been back in Los Santos for a week, having successfully gotten the price on his head rescinded. He hadn’t come over yet for want of a little relaxation.

Jen grabbed her phone and texted him, asking him to come over tonight. To her surprise, he responded in short order with a quick sure (Michael wasn’t known for his texting skills).

Excellent. Jen could get everything ready for tonight. A little wine, some candles… She could get that whiskey Michael likes and order some movies, relax for a while. Wonderful.

MaryAnn threw open Jen’s office door, yanking Jen out of her euphoria. Never let it be said that MaryAnn practiced proper work etiquette.

MaryAnn’s manic grin was contagious. “What did you do? How did you get them out of here?”

Jen shrugged, matching her grin. “I had nothing to do with it.”

“Bullshit,” MaryAnn laughed, taking a seat in one of Jen’s cushy office chairs. “I know you better than that. Did your creepy old boyfriend have someone killed?”

“There are so many things wrong with what you just said.” Jen shook her head, but the grin never left her face. “Wasn’t me - pinky swear. Some internet do-gooder pulled the records and leaked them last night. Check Weazel.”

“And you didn’t even point them in the right direction?”

Jen shook her head. “Nope.”

“Well, I’ll be,” MaryAnn said, crossing her arms. “Someone really likes you.”

Thanks, Lester.

Jen snorted. “As much shit as I get on the daily, I’ll take any win I can get.”

“Well, that means we can get down to business prepping for this trial.”

Jen eyed her whiteboard over in the corner. It was covered in notes and crime scene photos - a gruesome collage of a trial plan. “Finally. I’ll be glad when it’s over.”

“You and me both,” MaryAnn agreed. “Well, as much as I’d love to let you bask in your victory, we need to get started.”

“You pull the file, I’ll start calling witnesses.”

“Done.”

--- --- --- --- ---

Michael spent most of the week following the fertility idol debacle moping in his sedan. A week after yelling he loves Jen, he sat in the Burger Shot drive-thru, moping in his sedan. One full week of Burger Shot Depression Specials, blitzed out of his mind at 11AM on the good cognac, while Franklin shakes his head at him from the driver’s seat of the sedan.

Michael had texted Franklin maybe an hour before requesting Burger Shot, not for the first time this week, after downing about a hundred dollars’ worth of good cognac for breakfast. He was resolutely ashamed of himself, but too depressed to stop. Franklin, bless his soul, agreed to drive him, if only to ensure Michael wouldn’t drunk-drive himself to Burger Shot in Los Santos lunch traffic.

“Jen calls the sedan the Saggy Balls,” Michael hiccuped from the passenger seat while Franklin contemplated his life choices. “She says it makes me look old.”

“You are old, dude,” Franklin replied, accepting the reeking, greasy bag of double-doubles that will surely incite The Widowmaker, the final heart attack that will send Michael to an early grave, from the window cashier. “Why don’t you just call her?”

Trevor had already given Franklin the run-down of what happened on the beach, from the fertility idol right down to Michael’s duh-moment revelation. Therefore, he already knew why Michael wouldn’t willingly call Jen. It’s not like the man was an expert at dealing with his feelings in a healthy, sensible fashion.

“I’d rather fuckin’ die, Frank,” Michael moaned, taking a bite of his double-double cheeseburger with bacon. Grease beaded up in shiny specks on the bun, and Franklin wished Michael would eat a salad, for his own sake. “I got a plan. I’m trying to get my life back. I want my kids back. I want Amanda back.”

“You sure about that last one, man?” Franklin asked. He really shouldn’t complain about what Michael eats (why was he even concerned about it in the first place?). He was chowing down on greasy ass fries while idling at the red light.

“I want my life back.”

“Whatever you say, bro.”

Not a moment later, Michael’s phone vibrated. He groaned and laid his head against the headrest. “It’s from Jen.”

“Why are you complaining? Don’t you love her?”

“Yes,” Michael said flatly. That much has been established. He flicked through his text messages. “She wants me to come over tonight.”

“Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“I can’t keep seeing her if I want to get my life back.”

“Ain’t you been seeing her for, like years? Just go-” Franklin stopped, huffing. “You know what - you’re not gonna listen to whatever I tell you. You’re gonna drunk dial me at 2AM and ask me to come get you from Tequila-la’s and take you to Cluckin’ Bell.”

Michael was lost in his own thoughts. “You know what, I’m gonna go see Jen tonight. I’m gonna go tell her I can’t keep doing this.”

Franklin shook his head. “You’re gonna be diggin’ your own grave…”

--- --- --- --- ---

Jen answered the door dressed in a black button-down and her underwear, a glass of wine clutched in her hand and a grin on her face. Her cheeks were flushed pink, and she'd tied her mass of puffy orange hair up out of the way. An empty bottle of wine rested next to another full bottle, belying that she’d already started enjoying her night.

She had to be drunk. She wouldn’t have answered the door in a button-down (his button-down, one he’d left here before) and her underwear if she wasn’t at least tipsy. He’d surprisingly never seen her drunk before. Or, at least, she never let on that she was drunk.

It was… nice. She looked happy, kind of like the morning after the first night he’d stayed here, like she’d actually been able to let loose and relax. She wasn’t often this happy, always stressed about everything and exhausted and even more harried and harassed than usual with the election issues hanging over her. And that trial she’d mentioned - the serial killer one. He’d followed that story himself - seen some of the crime scene photos on her computer once, too - and it looked like a doozy.

Looking at her made Michael’s heart ache. He was going to ruin a perfectly good night by just being himself.

Or, at least he was, until she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Oh, fuck him. Michael’s hands were latched onto her waist in half a second, kneading her soft flesh with the tips of his fingers. She tasted like bad decisions, like he was about to really fuck up his life if he stayed here any longer.

The button-down was a stupid idea; she should have just answered the door naked and put him out of his misery. He’s got it so fucking bad for her, and there’s not a thing he can do about it.

Jen pulled back with that wicked grin on her face that let Michael know, in no uncertain terms, that she had his number. Guiding him over to the couch, she sat him down and shoved a drink in his hand. "I bought that good whiskey you like, the entire Richard's Majestic catalog, and snacks, Mike. Snacks. So, get cozy because we're celebrating!"

Michael reclined back against the couch, crossing his legs. The glass of whiskey in his hand was cold and sweating lightly. "What are we celebrating?"

Jen flopped down onto the couch next to him and slung a muscled leg across his lap before curling up against his side. "The death of my IAA annoyances - not literally, of course. Lester leaked the election results and blew all their covers."

He instinctively wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Good enough reason to celebrate, I guess."

Jen tipped her glass in salute. “Any reason to celebrate is a good reason. But this reason is an especially good one.”

Michael had to agree - any reason to celebrate was good enough for him. He’d never been one to turn down a good time, for whatever good it did him.

Jen snuggled closer into his side. "Plus, it's your first night back here since Madrazo called off the hit. Figured we could have a night to ourselves."

That’s what was killing him. Michael knew he shouldn’t have come over. No matter what the situation, no matter what time it was, any time he walked into Jen’s apartment, he didn't want to be anywhere else. He should have asked her to meet him for dinner or something - made it easier for both of them. He could have called things off, let her blow up and leave, gotten drunk and forgotten all about the past… seven years.

Yeah, that totally would have worked… He totally, under no circumstances, would have ended up right back here in Jen’s apartment, in exactly the same position, completely brought to his metaphorical fucking knees.

There was no scenario in which Michael wouldn’t fuck this up in some way or another. He’s just gotta do it. He’s just got to open his mouth and do it.

Twenty years ago, this wouldn’t have been a problem. He’d never had a problem telling a girl to get lost (except for his wife, Amanda, who he married because he got her pregnant, in some chivalrous attempt to own up to his choices). Never had a problem being the asshole, the bad guy, the jerk… He could sweet talk right up to the point where he wasn’t interested anymore, when he got what he wanted (ass), and would tell them to get lost.

Not this girl. Not Jen. Michael knew good and well he couldn’t do it because Jen was Jen, and she was his. He just didn’t want to acknowledge he knew it.

Before Michael could blink, they’d finished the first movie. He couldn’t even remember which one they’d watched - he’d been lost in his own thoughts. One of the shitty action movies, probably, that comprised most of the Richards Majestic catalog. Jen crawled out of his grasp to grab the remote and press play on whatever movie was queued up next. The loss of heat next to him was jarring after being so comfortable for so long.

The next movie in the queue was a romance. Michael preferred action movies all day long, but he wouldn’t turn his nose up at a decent romance. Especially not a Richards Majestic romance - they had just the right formula of hot and cheesy.

Jen crawled back up under his arm, another full glass of wine in one hand and a refill of his whiskey glass in the other hand. “I remembered you like Some Like it Hot - figured you wouldn’t mind watching this one next.”

“It’s one of the best, as far as rom-coms go.”

“Rom-coms aren’t so bad,” Jen teased, taking a healthy sip of her drink.

“Says the woman who almost exclusively watches mafia movies and B-horror.”

“I don’t want to hear shit from you, Mr. Action Movie.”

Michael pinched her side, earning him a gentle slap on the thigh. He shouldn’t be encouraging this, shouldn’t be playing with her and teasing her like he always does, but he wants to. And her lips are so soft when she kisses him, and she feels so warm against his chest, he just can’t make himself stop.

The minute Jen straddles his lap, he's done. Lost. No hope of holding out. She tastes like liquor and a lost cause when she kisses him, like communion at church, and he's the damned sinner clinging to the hope of salvation.

Michael damn near rips the buttons off of the shirt she's wearing - his shirt his shirt his shirt - just to get it open. He doesn't care to push over her shoulders or even try to get it off of her completely. He lets it hang open while he grabs her tits, pinching and pulling blindly while she kisses him. Fuck he loves these tits, these soft, heavy tits that make him forget how to think-

She didn’t have underwear on - how had he been sitting here half the night and not noticed?

Jen takes him by the throat. He fucking loves when she does that. She doesn't put pressure on his windpipe, it's just to force his head back so she can leave deep purple bruises on his neck that won't even be close to hidden by his shirt collar. He groans deep in his chest, and he swears he feels her smirk against his skin. He’d never admit out loud he likes being handled like this, loves when she leaves those dark bruises where everyone can see, loves when she puts him in his place. He can’t function like this, reduced to a groaning mess with every kiss and lick and touch.

She grinds down in his lap, stroking her naked pussy along his still-clothed cock. He could scream, he really could, but he doesn't. He lets her use him to work herself up, use him to get herself wet for him.

Michael’s searching fingers find her wet little cunt grinding down in his lap, and he wastes no time plunging his fingers into her. He crooks his fingers against the spot that makes her shake, and she howls against his neck. He can feel the muscles in her legs tense from the effort of hovering over his lap. Her nails dig into his shoulders, and it’s only the thin barrier of his shirt that saves him from red little half-moon bites in his skin.

Jen pulls at the buttons of his shirt with shaking hands while he fingers her. “Get- get this off.”

“Get it off me, then.”

The way her eyes flash at him, that dangerous little warning of don’t test me, makes Michael’s cock twitch. He twists his fingers, adding a third finger to stuff her full, and the shaky whimper she lets out makes him grin. She works faster, though, almost ripping a couple of his shirt buttons right off.

“That’s right, princess - you don’t want to be the only one naked, do you?”

Jen yanks his shirt open so she can get her hands on him, and Michael just lets her rake her nails down his chest. He loves testing her like this, loves when she gets rough with him. It doesn’t matter how much he likes to be in charge. Jen is Jen, and he wants this any way she’ll give it to him.

Michael can feel her starting to tense around his fingers. "Come on, princess, you know you wanna come for me."

Jen stops him with a hand on his bicep. "Don’t get mouthy. Stand up."

Michael is damn near bewildered, but he does as she commands and stands. His jaw hits the floor when she turns toward the back of the couch, knees in the cushions, hands resting on the top of the couch.

Jen doesn't do this. Hasn't done it, not once, in the seven years they've been seeing each other. She likes the dominant role, and Michael is more than happy to take the lazy route and let her use him any way she wants. Vulnerability and submission are not her preference - she likes to be in control, and getting fucked from behind isn't enough control.

And, for a long moment, Michael finally forgets himself. Forgets he wants Amanda back, forgets he tried to keep himself from getting in this position in the first place. This vulnerability throws him for a goddamn loop.

And Jen is impatient. "You gonna stand there all night or are you gonna fuck me, Mike?"

Michael’s pants hit the goddamn floor like they're on fire. He lines his hard, leaking cock up with her cunt and thrusts, and thank god he fingered her for as long as he did because she's tight and dripping wet and rocking back against him and-

He squeezes her ass and gives it a sharp swat before pulling her back onto his cock as hard as he dares. He's not gonna last like this - not by a long shot, but damn if he's not gonna get her to scream his name before he does. He leans over her, chest to her back, and guides her upright, knees buried into the couch cushions, with one arm wrapped around her waist and the other hand squeezing her tits.

Michael's teeth nip at Jen’s earlobe, his tongue tracing the outer shell of her ear. He thrusts up hard, pinching her nipples. "Gonna come for me, princess? Gonna come for Daddy?"

Oh, he knows she wants to sass him, wants to fight him, wants to shove him back down on the couch and take back control for that comment, and he fucking wants her to, but he can feel her hot cunt start to tighten and flutter around him. No, she’s not going to fight him for control. She wants him to fuck her stupid, take her like he wants to take her.

"That's it, let Daddy make you come."

“Don’t-” Jen jerks the hand squeezing her tits down to her clit, where he circles her presses and dips his fingers between her folds. Her nails dig into his forearms, searching for stability and balance while she falls apart in his hands. "Fuck, Mike-"

"Try again."

And Jen plays his game. To his amazement, she plays his game. "Come on, Daddy, make me come-"

He does. With quick, rough strokes, and his fingers pressing down and circling and teasing her swollen clit, he makes her come. Long, and hard, and slow, until Jen is howling his name like he’s never heard her do. It breaks him, and he comes in hard spurts, twitching and rocking up into her.

“That’s it, princess,” Michael groans into her neck, “love your cunt, love you, baby-”

Michael grabs Jen’s chin, twisting around so he can kiss her. She’s still fluttering around him, still coming all over his cock, and he feels like he’s never going to be able to stop.

And when Michael finally softens enough to pull out, Jen collapses down on the couch in a sweaty, satisfied little heap.

From that moment, it takes approximately five seconds for Michael to freak the fuck out.

Because he said it.

Michael had never gotten dressed so fast in his life. His hand is on the front doorknob before Jen even really realizes he’s leaving. He doesn’t know if she comprehended what he said, and he’s not sticking around to find out.

“Michael, where the fuck are you going-”

The door slammed behind him, and he could hear her yelling. He’s in the elevator and on the way down to his car before Jen can even grab a robe.

He let his phone ring and ring as he climbed into his car, and he ignored every call.

#grand theft auto #Grand Theft Auto 5 #Grand Theft Auto V #gta #GTAV #GTA5 #michael de santa #michael de santa x oc

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lovestuckyhatemarvel · 1 year ago

Text

Fair warning: I’m watching this in bits and pieces because TWO HOURS AND TWENTY TWO MINUTES AND 24 SECONDS FOR A SEASON FINALE IS BONKERS STUPID.

Putting a read more because this episode is long and therefore this post is super long.

1.) Yuri just removed something from the helicopter, which is extremely rude and potentially stupid.

2.) I’ve decided I hate Yuri.

3.) the audio balancing of this show is garbage.

4.) Hey, did we need this Joyce and Hopper changing simultaneously scene???? Like at all??? It’s not very good filmmaking and this season finale is OVER TWO HOURS LONG.

5.) Also I know they think it’s funny to have Joyce be in a Hulk Hogan shirt during the scene, but I think it just is off.

6.) This flirting session would be better if this finale WAS NOT OVER TWO HOURS LONG. And the reason it’s happening is because Netflix is avoiding syndication.

7.) Robin knelt to boost Nancy lmao.

8.) I still stand by the ‘Make him pay’ moment mirroring Han and Luke’s interaction. Anyway, I want Steve and Eddie to smooch.

9.) Yeah I’m skipping the intro. Chop chop. We’ve got 2 hours left.

10.) Would have been fun for Kali and her group to show up for the finale.

11.) Mind Fight.

12.) Argyle was cryptic.

13.) Did we actually need a scene of Max, Lucas, and Erica searching for Vecna? We know what they’re doing and what their plan is. We don’t actually need to have our hands held this fucking much. Fourteen year olds don’t either. I promise high schoolers can follow context clues sometimes.

14.) Oh come the fuck on. A guy just HAPPENS to be walking his dog past the abandoned goddamn Creel house so that their location is compromised????????

15.) Oh, Hopper knows El is fighting a monster in Hawkins with Joyce’s kids.

16.) Oh my god, the particles are just in Russia just for this bullshit so they can fight it.

17.) are all surfer boy employees stoners????

18.) Metal concert ahoy. I’m taking a break.

19.) okay session number two. Eddie’s putting sweetheart on. Also I’m realizing that people who have someone bring Sweetheart back from the upside down are wicked overthinking things. He’s playing the upside down version.

20.) Steve crawled. backward as a baby and I can’t focus on that because Im’ realizing the LIGHTING AND THE AUDIO BALANCING ON THIS SHOW ARE GARBAGE.

21.) Steve suffered head trauma as a baby that could have killed him. Isn’t that funny?

22.) I love Nancy and Steve being friends but acting like Nancy and Steve did each other favors at the end of their relationship is stupid.

23.) Ugh, the confession. I DON’T WANT THEM TOGETHER. STEVE DOESN’T WANT THEM TOGETHER. HE SAID HE WASN’T INLOVE WITH HER LAST SEASON UNER TRUTH SERUM. I have a conspiracy theory that the Duffers saw people shipping Steve/Eddie and went, “Fuck, gotta try to force Stancy.” But also I don’t remember nor do I care to check when part 1 and part 2 of this simultaneously short and abysmally long season aired.

24.) why did Erica need to signal the group outside? Was it just to give a rando a chance to spot Erica?

25.) IDK how Hopper, Joyce, and Murray didn’t anticipate that maybe the demogorgon they helped get out might have killed a fuckload of people.

26.) “I was told the Peanut Butter Smuggler was once a great man.” HEY DUFFERS, DID FUCKING NONE OF YOU REALIZE THIS LINE IS GODDAMN STUPID? Like and I know it’s not supposed to be a joke! The framing is serious! The performance is serious! The music is damn near inspirational! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. And all this happened because you guys just had to advertise fucking JIF of all goddamn things. JIF Peanut Butter, something I don’t even think would be popular in the 80s in Russia in the fucking first place!!!!!!!!

27.) The very blue lighting of this scene fro Max and Lucas is bad.

28.) Can we talk about the Duffers’ love of having a straight couple promise each other a future Friday date only for the season finale to fuck with it? I Haven’t seen this episode, but I know it happens. That’s two seasons in a goddamn row, you dipshits.

29.) Vecna has been hiding out in the attic all goddamn season long. Why is he suddenly downstairs for the finale? Oh right, it’s to make the plan easier to screw with.

30.) My roommate asked me why I wasn’t watching this on 1.5 speed during my last viewing and I’m wondering the same.

31.) Mike in the sunglasses is being pretty cute.

32.) Of course Mike gets interrupted. Because Duffers haven’t met a cliche they didn’t wanna fuck.

33.) LMAO WHAT? Wait, that lego up the nose story was just to be like ‘YOU USED TO COME TO ME FOR HELP?’ How is Jonathan suddenly so shit at talking to Will???

34.) oh my god stop mentioning the lego up the nose. I cannot stand that this ‘you can come out to me’ speech has legos up the nose.

35.) Time to go into Max’s brain.

36.) Oh now they’re going into the attic.

37.) Of course Max’s plan isn’t working. The Duffers hate it when a plan comes together.

38.) I hate this blue lighting. It’s digital and it sucks.

39.) I still think a much more interesting storyline would be these kids forgiving themselves for human emotions, even ugly ones. Especially because this puritanical ‘thought crimes are real and bad’ schtick is stupid.

40.) lmao what is the point of going back to Will, Mike, and Jonathan just to show them react to what El is saying????

41.) These pizzeria shots could have been cut.

42.) Initiating Phase 3.

43.) Eddie’s fantastic performance.

44.) The song choice is great but I also still fucking hate that Jason got told how to find Erica, Max, and Lucas at all. Like, this is just fucking annoying.

45.) All these images are happening way too rapidly to be anything other than chaotic noise. Like, nothing has room to breathe.

46.) You two idiots, stop screaming about most metal ever. You’re hiding from things that are attracted by sound.

47.) oh no. Everything escaped. Whoever would have guessed that everything escaped in the Russian prison?

48.) Of course the guy died before he could answer who the shadow went into.

49.) Steve’s very good at hopping around shitty CGI vines.

50.) It’s super jarring going from a memory where there’s ALL THE LIGHTING to scenes where it’s all digitally dark and blue BACK TO BRIGHT MEMORIES.

51.) Balloons popping into blood? Someone’s seen IT.

52.) WE DID NOT NEED THIS MUCH BUILD UP TO EL AND MAX GETTING TO THE SAME DREAM. THIS EPISODE IS ALREADY TOO FUCKING LONG. TRIM SHIT. Have it be easier for El to get to Max in her mind BECAUSE THEY’RE ACTUALLY FRIENDS, YOU DUMB PIECES OF SHIT.

53.) I hate Jason Carver so fucking much. Like I hated BIlly and wasn’t sad when he died, but I didn’t actively want him to die, tbh. Just didn’t wanna save him. Jason, I wanna push through a wood chipper.

54.) Hopper is bait.

55.) “This time, it’s gonna be different.” God, I wish, but no, this show is still shit. Actually, wait, no, this show did get somehow SHOCKINGLY worse.

56.) Back to back. Eddie and Dustin. Bros bros bros.

57.) oh suddenly Eddie knows to be quiet.

58.) Vent. All the vents in this show are so huge. And also the bats got smaller because they needed to fit in. The bats from previous scenes didn’t look like they’d fit.

59.) EARTHQUAKE. Because we have time for this shit. JUST GET THIS TRIO TO VECNA. OH MY GOD. Oh wait, Robin’s against a a wall. Steve’s against a wall. RObin’s on the floor and now on a wall. Nothing is going right.

60.) Joyce seems actively stressed out by Hopper heading down a flickering corridor. I’m actively stressed out by how badly paced this all is.

61.) here here doggy doggy doggy. Brennan Lee Mulligan voice: I’m gonna kill that dog.

62.) Blocked one vent. Took the bats exactly 2 seconds to find another vent????? Somewhere?????? Impossible to see in this shitty digital lighting.

63.) Did not know that Eddie starts to climb before he realizes the door is about to burst. Ah, I can see him having a big damn hero realization before he cuts it. RACING AWAY ON A BIKE. Goodbye new lovable character that was doomed by the narrative because Duffers hate new people.

64.) hey why has El not actually gotten to Max yet? It’s been so fucking long.

65.) Vecna is boring.

66.) Oh, Max is pinned to the wall like Vecna was.

67.) God, Jason Carver is so fucking pathetic.

68.) “Normal’s just.a raging psychopath.” No, that’s not true either, Lucas. The duffers just are still really mad no one wanted to date them in high school. And no one wanted to date them in high school because they’re stupid sexist creeps with no real grasp on narrative structure.

69.) “But in the end” - Vecna. Me “IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER, HUH?” I mean, that’s not the words he said, but he might as well have.

70.) oh hi El, nice of you to finally fucking join.

71.) goddamn it just let El be powerful enough to beat Vecna. Have this goddamn show end in season 4.

72.) more biking. Dustin’s about to fall from a ceiling. Yeah, that was a bone crunch sound effect.

73.) Eddie stopped running and I don’t know why. He could have just kept drawing them away.

74.) Hopper’s running from a demodog.

75.) Erica’s running to the house as Jason Carver tries to kill Lucas. HE HIT LUCAS WITH A GODDAMN VASE.

76.) I think I ship Mike/Will and El/Max/Lucas.

77.) Vecna is so raspy. Drink some tea, bud.

78.) IF YOU TOUCH HER AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU AGAIN. Okay that loses its bite at the end.

79.) And immediately El is losing. LMAO DID WE NEED TO CUT TO MIKE GOING, ‘SHE’S FIGHTING HIM’??? LIKE YEAH, BITCH, WE KNOW. WE CAN FUCKING SEE IT.

80.) Should have rally given Eddie and Dustin some fire.

81.) why is Vecna so overpowered??? EL HAS KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE TOO. THIS WHOLE POWER JUSTIFICATION THING IS SO STU PID.

82.) can Max get knocked out inside her own head?????

83.) El got sent into Vecna’s mind and dragged up. I literally hate this scene so much and have no respect for it.

84.) Max is being carried into Vecna’s mind. Glad we’re all here. Also yeah, somehow Max’s mind is knocked out?????????????

85.) It’d be fucking hilarious if ‘Papa is dead’ had stopped Vecna.

86.) And by hilarious, I mean it would make more sense than all this shit. “He is the monster, Henry, not you.” Babe that ship sailed after he murdered a ton of children.

87.) I STILL HAVE AN HOUR LEFT. Vecna is blaming EL for doing this??????????????????????? FUCK HENRY. THAT’S SO GODDAMN STUPID.

88.) there’s literally no reason for Henry to have survived getting struck by lightning a bunch in the upside down.

89.) ‘unspooled by mankind’. Both you and Thanos can take your bullshit and jump off a cliff. Neither of you understand shit about fuck.

90.) LMAO WHAT? HENRY MADE THE MIND FLAYER LOOK LIKE THAT BECAUSE HE’S INTO SPIDERS? GO FUCK Y OURSELVES. GO FUCK YOURSELVES. GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

91.) If Vecna is so powerful, it’s stupid that he would need El’s powers and kill 4 teens to get out.

92.) Montage of everyone getting their shit handed to them over Vecna’s annoying speech.

93.) Jason is fucking strangling Lucas. What the fuck?

94.) how is there still 52 minutes left and why did the vine that wrapped around El’s neck look particularly stupid? God, I’m taking a break.

95.) Okay it went back to showing me the vine going around El’s neck again so I need to note how bad it looks. Again.

96.) “Don’t be afraid.” THAT’S NEVER WORKED.

97.) Why HAND SO BIG? Like HOW DID BEING IN THE UPSIDE DOWN MAKE HIS HAND SO BIG? Oh also his head is smooth like an egg.

98.) I’m fine with being shown the pizza crew pulling El out of the bath. That makes sense to show.

99.) ????? Hey Will??? Since fucking when is Mike the goddamn heart?????

100.) Listen, as sweet as this Mike speech is, I kind of wish El had believed in herself without her boyfriend giving her a pep talk about believing in her.

101.) Lucas starts getting the upper hand in this fucking blue lit room just as El gets free.

102. Goofy fucking limb breaks.

103.) Henry flying back is hilarious.

104.) Joyce using the fucking stun thing was neat.

105.) Seriously, how did the Russians have so many goddamn creatures???????

106.) Things are turning around. Sort of. Thanks for burning the fucking monsters.

107.) why the fuck is there a sword in this Russian prison?????????????????????? LIKE WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?

108.) Can y’all stop making a meal out of killing Vecna and just fucking do it already?

109.) LMAO (epic synth arrangement of Running Up That Hill) Thanks subtitles for telling me that. For the record, it’s not as good as the original or most covers.

110.) Vecna burning again.

111.) So, Max is awake in Lucas’ arms and the teen trio is attacking Vecna. This should feel epic to watch them fight Vecna while Hopper sword fights a demogorgon but it’s….so boring. So stupid. And honestly super fucking unearned. I’m also, even with breaks, fucking exhausted of this show. Fucking end already.

112.) Hopper and Joyce are hugging as a helicopter arrives from Yuri, who I guess had a change of heart offscreen. The place all the interesting things happen.

113.) Eddie is dying because he was too good for this story. Actually, why the fuck is he dying???? This doesn’t actually make any fucking sense. Like I’m so baffled that I can’t actually be sad. Anyway, I feel less bad for not mentioning basically any of this shit in my fanfic.

114.) The duffers can bring him back. Especially since straight up, his dying makes no goddamn sense. He was injured, yeah. He was having a very bad time. BUT NOTHING HE WENT THROUGH LOOKED FUCKING FATAL BITCH GOT KILLED BY THE PLOT, NOT ANYTHING IN IT.

115.) Lucas tells Erica to get an ambulance.

116.) Hey why the fuck is Max doing so badly???? None of this makes any goddamn sense.

117.) This blue light is impeding my ability to care and that says a lot since I cry over butter commercials.

118.) The clock chiming to let the teens know Max died was interesting at least.

119.) JASON CARVER FULLY GOT CUT IN HALF. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE HIM BE ALIVE????

120.) I am glad Jason Carver got cut in half.

121.) Can we talk about how there’s definitely been 4 gates open at one time before and it didn’t do shit? Why do these 4 suddenly matter?

122.) Damn, everyone’s commutes are gonna suck in the morning. Town got an x through it.

123.) Everyone waiting for El to wait up so she can be like, “Max beefed it because she read the script.”

124.) El touches Max and ??????????? Max reads the script again and okay finally I’m getting emotional and it’s over flashbacks to seasons that sucked less, Yeah, I ship El/Max/Lucas. Fight me.

125.) lmao fucking what? TWO DAYS LATER. God this show is so badly made.

126.) Droves of people leaving Hawkins as a pizza van arrives.

127.) 7.4 earthquake. Hold on, gotta google something. 7.4 is major but not the highest level. I don’t know why I think it’s so fucking funny that it doesn’t beat the highest on record. The highest is 9.5 in 1960 Chile, btw.

128.) ‘A natural disaster of near-unprecedented scale’. It’s literally not in the top 10 of actual history you dumb fucks. ALSO THERE ARE ONLY 22 DEAD. NO OFFENSE BUT THIS IS NOT UNPRECEDENTED. IT’S PRECEDENTED. THERE’S A SCALE. 22 IS SAD, BUT IT’S NOT, PARDON THE PUN, GROUNDBREAKING.

129.) Also the satanic cult shit is still so stupid. Satanic panic was fake. Even Criminal Minds knows that.

130.) WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO DESERVE SO MUCH SUFFERING? HOLY SHIT, WHAT REPORTER TALKS LIKE THAT?

131.) Reunion.

132.) ???? Why would El need to ask why Lucas is at the hospital?????? She literally knows what happened to Max????? WHO EDITED THIS EPISODE?????

133.) Max is in a hospital bed.

134.) “Her heart stopped for over a minute.” She probably could be fine.

135.) Why is El not admitting she did this?

136.) How is there 20 minutes left???? Why do we need to see Steve, Robin, and Dustin taking donations to the high school???? Do we need to watch them do volunteer work?

137.) Vickie is cute but because they’ve like, not at all interacted, I don’t actually care if her and Robin get together. Also they are kind of two samesies.

138.) Steve is such a proud best friend though.

139.) Dustin talking to Wayne and having to tell that sad old man that Eddie was killed by the Duffers for no good reason.

140.) Duffers, people did love him. This speech is just annoying because it was unnecessary.

141.) Jesus Christ, this episode is STILL GOING?????????????????

142.) The cabin needs more than the cleaning supplies that Nancy has. Also, Steve Harrington’s parents still like, don’t exist, so why doesn’t El just hide out with him?

143.) Hey, Jonathan, don’t be a dick to Steve.

144.) Will really does have spidey senses.

145.) HOOOOOOW ISSSSSS VECNA ALIVEEEEEEEEE?

146.) Black car approaches while El has emotions over a coke bottle that she played games with Max with. Stop using Coca Cola as emotional beats.

147.) Hopper and El reunion. What the fuck is Hopper wearing???????

148.) Matching father daughter hairdos.

149.) Joyce and El are so cute.

150.) Mike and Hopper were kind of cute.

151.) The amount I’ve seen the back of Will’s neck is weird.

152.) Sky darkening. Shit drifting from teh sky. Uh oh. Upside down is here.

153.) We get everyone’s reaction shots to it. THIS EPISODE IS TOO FUCKING LONG.

154.) I’m gonna buy the Duffers an intro to storytelling book or something. This is garbage.

155.) THe ash kills plants, I guess.

156.) If the Duffers have it so that this is actually a big loop and the upside down is actually Hawkins in the future, I’m gonna hunt them for sport.

Do I actually need to spell out I hated this season? It’s bad. The writing is bad, the characterization is weird, the plot is convoluted, the pacing is worse, the lighting is fucking atrocious, the CGI is hideous, and I DO NOT CARE ABOUT VECNA. VECNA IS SO BOOOOOOOOOOORING. Like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THIS EVIL CHILD OBSESSED WITH SPIDERS SHIT. MAYBE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN INTERESTING TO ME WHEN I WAS 8 BUT THERE’S NOTHING EVIL ABOUT SPIDERS. They’re important part of the ecosystem, but they also are a lesson, if you actually pay attention, IN EVERYTHING HAVING ITS PLACE. HENRY CREEL IS A SHIT EDGELORD WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND SPIDERS OR FUCKING ANYTHING ELSE.

That was a goddamn waste of time. Definitely not watching season 5.

#stranger things #stranger things rewatch #s4e9 #season 4 episode 9 #stranger things s4e9

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lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 2 years ago

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Love Song for a Vampire Pt.20

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan Warnings: none Words: 3348 Summary: You meet Carmen and Eleazor. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39

Your summer school homework was the bane of your existence, tapping your pencil incessantly against your bottom lip as you stared at the jumble of letters and numbers. Whose idea was it to put letters in math anyway? Perhaps you would have known had you paid more attention in your classes instead of falling asleep or thinking of your wolf life. A life no one else in your class was aware of.

There was a small school on the La Push reservation that must have had the smallest classes in the state. Only a hand few of other students attended. A smaller class should have been better for your scholastic life right? Not when you part-timed as a wolf at night. Such an essential part to both the safety of La Push and Forks yet no one else was to know except for your fellow school going pack members who found lessons to be just as tedious. Well, excluding Quil. None of you knew how he did it, but he had passed all of his classes with a strong C across the board. You refused to accept that Quil, the same kid who used to eat sand when he was younger, was actually smarter than you.

Rubbing your fingers against your forehead, you lean back in your chair and close your eyes if just for a moment. Your body ached to run. To shed your useless human skin and take the powerful form of your wolf. Unfortunately your mom and dad had put their foot down on you at least finishing one homework assignment before you left to gallivant with the rest of your pack. By all means it was fair, but that was of little consolation now that you were faced with actually doing the work. You could take down newborn vampires but math was another battle that you were ill-equipped to handle.

You were all too eager to answer your phone when it started to ring. The caller ID had every cell in your body leaping for joy. Edward was calling. How long had it been since you heard his voice?

Feeling guilty at how excited you were at the prospect of talking to him, you squash down those damnable butterfly flutters and pick up your phone. Did Bella tell him of the lunch you two spent together? It didn’t seem like they were speaking with one another.

With great trepidation and elation, you press your thumb on the green answer button.

Rude to stare at people, you were unable to prevent your eyes from gawking at the two new vampires that stood before you. Their gold eyes told you have the identical vegetarian lifestyle that the Cullens had.

“Carmen, Eleazor, this is (y/n).” Edward introduces you with a hint of pride that you caught onto quickly. You needed to act cool. Show them that his presence didn’t affect you as much as it actually did. If they were close to Edward, he must have told them everything including that you had essentially deemed him to be your soulmate. “(Y/n), these are two members of the Denali coven. Eleazor used to be in the Volturi a long time ago. They wanted to meet both you and Bella. Get acquainted with you if we are to fight alongside each other in the future.”

So it was certain then, another battle loomed in the distance. Whether it happens a week from now or a month, Edward was already preparing for when the Volturi discovered that Bella had changed her mind about becoming a vampire and would remain human. You would have to fight for her safety once again. This time though it was different. Like you understood her better. Not that you ever resented her.

After your only real interaction with her though, you came to the conclusion that she was a good person who didn’t want any of this chaos either. In fact it seemed she resented herself a little bit for not being able to protect herself, let alone being able to protect Edward.

During your time in that diner, Bella had told you in detail what had happened in Italy when she first encountered the Volturi. All about why Edward went there in the first place and the underlying cruelty that lay underneath their put together facade. They were vampires that didn’t believe in drinking animal blood. Preferring the richness of that blood that flowed through humans instead.

She had been unable to protect him from a certain Volturi member’s power that caused invisible pain to grip its victim. Surprisingly though it hadn’t done anything to her. Bella seemed immune to this Jane’s power.

Pulling your lips into an easy grin, you held out your hand to the both of them. “Nice to meet you. It’s refreshing to meet a vampire that isn’t trying to kill me.”

Both Carmen and Eleazor smile at your little joke. Carmen shakes your hand first, her palm and fingers are like ice as they press against your warm hand. She didn’t recoil from your wolf scent, showed no sign like some of the other Cullen members had displayed when you first met them.

“This is the first time either of us have met anyone like you. Our world never ceases to amaze me. I wonder what other creatures could be thriving among us.” Eleazor comments after taking his turn to shake your hand.

That twisted face of Xiomara was like an incessant phantom in the back of your mind. Rearing it’s head up every so often to remind you of what real monsters existed. Monsters that shouldn’t be real and should stay in fairytales.

“I’m sure my alpha will want to meet the two of you as well. Show you the proof of our alliances with the Cullens.” Sam would be interested once you told him. A safe idea for you to come meet the new vampires first as you now seemed to be some sort of ambassador between the wolves and vampires. “How long will the two of you be staying here?”

“As long as it takes for us to come up with a decision and proposition for the other members of our coven.” Carmen sighs. “Three of them are still not so sure. Especially about working with your kind.”

Yeah, some members would have a problem with accepting two more so soon. Many were finally warming up to the members of the Cullen family. This new camaraderie was delicate. New and uncertain.

“We’re hoping this visit will make them come around.” Says Edward. “Depending on what Carmen and Eleazor say. They will respect their words far more than mine.”

“Not by any default of your’s.” Eleazor reassures Edward. The other three members decision was nothing of the personal nature against Edward, but surely he would be biased.

“Irina will be the real issue.” Honey gold eyes glance at you. “A male she was very interested in was killed by one of your kind.”

Wincing, you remembered the incident. The panic that had ensued because that vampire had tried to attack Bella in the woods of wolf territory. The Denali couple wave off your change in facial features, wanting you not to worry about it.

Carmen proceeds “It was a fairly new romance. We hadn’t known him for too long. Regardless, Irina feels jilted.”

You wanted to proceed carefully, choose your words with the utmost care. To not offend these newcomers since you didn't know how volatile they could be. A reassuring nod from Edward gave you the courage to speak up. "It was a regrettable action but we did what we were sworn to do: to protect the defenseless humans of Forks. That is all my pack wants, what we were made for." Compared to these immortal beings, you must have been but an infant. Hell, you hadn't even been anywhere outside of Washington before. Experiencing little of what the world had to offer you.

Both observe you with those once eerie gold eyes that you had grown so comfortable around. As if gauging your character, your inner soul. Would they deem you worthy to fight alongside with? You hoped you weren't setting a bad example for your pack. Maybe someone else should have been called rather than you. You were young and so inexperienced with giving empowering speeches. You felt so small compared to the other members. Paul or Jared were old enough to be delegates too, although a lot more short tempered than you.

The first one to break the quiet was Carmen who offered you a soft smile. "Well, I hope the others of your ilk are well mannered like you."

"Unfortunately, well mannered wolves are in short supply." You comment with a bit of a teasing lilt in your voice to inspire Carmen's smile to widen. Enough to make your body sag with relief. These were potential allies. Allies who, while they can be serious, also have a gentle side to them. Gentle and friendly. Just like the Cullens. Hope that the rest of your pack would warm up to them bloomed inside of you and you catch Edward's eyes on you. You shoot him a success filled smile. You would have a good report to give to the others.

***

When (y/n) bid farewell, promising of Sam getting into contact with them later that day, the three vampires lounge around in the living room. Everyone felt more relieved after the introduction. (y/n) had that effect on people: making them feel at ease.

"So. . . That's the wolf girl who. . . what was the word. . . imprinted on you?" Carmen asked Edward with a sly grin that made the corners of her lips curl in an impish way.

Thankfully his perpetual pale pallor prevented him from blushing. "Yes. (y/n)."

She knew she hit home with her comment as she witnessed Edward shift a little bit in his seat. "I like her. She's a cute little thing. The smell, I'm sure, I will get used to in time. It's very. . ."

"Earthy." Edward says before she was even able to finish. That's what he smelled anyway whenever he was around her. Earth and life itself.

"Is she aware of the attraction you feel toward her?" Eleazor speaks up.

He forgot how observant these two were. Of course his attentiveness toward (y/n) revealed it's true meaning to them. Indeed he himself couldn't ignore how excited he had been to see her and that (y/n) seemed like she was doing well. The dark circles under her eyes had lessened and she seemed. . . happy.

Longing was evident on both ends. So close they were but they consciously put a safe distance between themselves. That invisible wall known as Bella. She had broken things off with Edward yet neither of the fated pair were willing to take that first step to be together. Still respective of the fresh breakup and the love Edward still had for the human girl because each knew that he was willing to wage another battle, possibly a war, to protect her.

Edward couldn't think of a proper reply. Did (y/n) know? Could she smell a difference in Edward's scent whenever they were together? He didn't think so.

Putting a hand on her mate's shoulder, Carmen shook her head as if to say that the topic should be dropped for a later time. "And when can we meet Ms. Swan?"

Grateful for the change, Edward relaxed his back against the cushions. "That one will be a little bit more tricky. At the moment, none of my family are allowed to speak to her. We'd have to go through her father. He's the local police chief. After all that happened, he wants us to keep our distance."

Eleazor raised a brow. "He knows the truth?"

"All of it. Including the truth about the wolves." Edward nods.

The Volturi would not be happy that a second human knew of the secret existence of vampires. That would cause even more problems if it were to get back to them in Italy.

"I'm hoping," Edward starts "that once the wolves give their okay, Charlie will ease up a bit to at least let the two of you meet her. I'm sure Bella would like to meet the two of you as well. She hasn't really met a lot of vampires like us. Most of them have tried to kill her."

Charlie didn't keep it a secret that he preferred the wolves over the Cullens. At least they were still semi-human. And he had always been on friendly terms with Billy, Jacob's father. Something that had previously irked Edward when he had been dating Bella. It was obvious that Charlie wanted Bella to be with Jacob. That probably hadn't changed. Must have been enhanced since learning the truth of everyone. If Bella chose Jacob, then she could keep her humanity and not become a monster to be with him.

(y/n) also had Charlie's favor since she had saved him not too long ago from one of Victoria's stray newborns. Defended him without a second thought nor had she been worried of the repercussions of him learning the Quileute tribe's secret. Selfless, she had only been concerned about Charlie's safety and went up to bat for him in a heartbeat. Another attribute of the wolf girl that made Edward admire her so much. At a young mortal age, (y/n) owned the heart of someone leagues older than her. That was what drew Edward in, like a vacuum her genuine heart pulled him in and kept him there. With each interaction he had with her, the further Edward was pulled into her orbit. He wanted to stay there. Never had he felt so comfortable, so carefree. If he could dream, they would be filled with images of the lush woods with he and (y/n) spending endless hours together. If he could capture her scent in a bottle, he would. Bella may have been his singer, her blood so opulent and alluring that anyone of his kind would want to taste her, but it was (y/n)'s essence that made him feel human again. Made him feel alive.

Catching that Edward was getting lost in his own thoughts, Eleazor quietly cleared his throat to bring Edward back to their conversation. Embarrassed, Edward tucked away his musings for when he would later be alone. "I think (y/n) can convince her pack mates to meet you. Even without their consent, I'm sure she can go to Charlie and convince him too to let Bella meet you."

“You hold a lot of faith in (y/n).” Eleazor couldn’t resist the tease. Chuckling at her mate’s antics, Carmen playfully elbows him in the side. Also a slight warning to not tease Edward too much.

“She deserves my faith.” Edward told them with a whisper of softness in his eyes. Was this his fate in life? To be drawn to women that he shouldn’t be. First a human then a wolf. It would have been easier had he been attracted to Tanya. Even Rosalie when Carlisle first brought her as a potential partner for Edward. None of them had been able to bring forth such feelings within Edward though. Only Bella and (y/n) had sparked such affections in him.

“That’s what that strange scent was.” Jared murmurs to Paul after you told Sam of the Cullens’ two guests. They had already been in the area when you arrived at Sam’s. He called them in from the woods where they had been patrolling.

Arms folded across his chest, Sam mulls over what you had divulged about Carmen and Eleazor. More vegetarian vampires. Even had the gold tinted eyes.

“They seem like good people. Er- good vampires.” You had to correct yourself. “I didn’t sense any sort of hostility coming from them. Even when Laurent popped up in the conversation.”

It was still debated who exactly had killed Laurent when he trespassed on Quileute territory. You hadn’t been there when it happened. Only the older members of the pack had been in attendance in the forest that day. Perhaps fortunate for the younger members would not have had much experience.

“They want to meet the rest of the pack. And Bella.” Sam reiterates back to you what you had finished on.

Three pairs of eyes land on you. Trying not to feel intimidated in front of them, you straighten your back a little to feel more confident. “I think it’s natural that they want to meet everyone involved. How can we ask them to help us if they don’t really know us? We’re strangers to them. They won’t be willing to risk their lives against the Volturi, even if they are long time friends with the Cullens.” You look to Sam in particular. “For what it’s worth, I would be honored to calm them my comrades.”

A cool, impassive statue is Sam’s face until he pushes of the wall of his living room and goes over to pat your head. Confused, you, Jared and Paul watch Sam wordlessly step out of his house with a soft click of the door.

Mouth open, you direct your questioning over to Paul who was the one sitting closest to you. But he was just smiling. “What’s going on? Am I missing something?”

“Of course you are, (y/n).” Jared crows with a tilt of his head. “Couldn’t you tell?”

“Tell what?” They were beginning to annoy you with their aloofness.

Paul shakes his head. “He’s proud of you. You’ve really stepped up. Madam Ambassador.”

Jared confesses “I’m a bit jealous! And here I thought I would be considered to be his second in command.”

“Well her wolf is bigger than both of our’s. Almost the size of Sam’s.” Argued Paul as he smiles at the even more perplexed expression you had. “He takes what you think into consideration. Sam trusts you and your judgement.”

Your face heats up and you look anywhere but at them. “You guys-“

The front door opens once again and it’s Sam returning from wherever he had been. “Make some room. I’ve called another pack meeting.”

Your trio groans. And here you thought the tedious pack meetings were all but over after Victoria.

Tomorrow, everyone would meet at the borderline, meeting in the middle of their neighboring domains. A familiar grip of anxiety twisted inside of you. Thinking of another battle both terrified and. . . And thrilled you. Your wolf raged in delight of the idea. Snapping more vampire necks. So easy you had done it with your strong jaws. Your heart raced at the memories.

Violence you had never known before. . .

Puffing out a sigh into the night, you walk the quiet road by yourself back to your house. Out here there were no street lights to guide you home. That was okay. Even before you had phased, you had never been afraid to walk alone in the dark.You had always felt safe with the stars as your guardians.

Nights in La Push were beautiful and you enjoyed the solitary walk home. Gentle and caressing, a small gust of wind curls around your arms and tickles at your hair. Odd though, in that breeze you picked up the pungent scent of cinnamon and other spices that tickled your sensitive nose.

Then you heard it. Feet scuffling against the dirt behind you.

Jerking around, a cloaked figure of a woman is standing behind you. “Your blood led me here.” She rips off her hood and you see her face. Young, but not as young as you were, her green eyes contrast greatly with her tanned skin. “Found it in my sister’s home. Along with the corpse of that damn lechuza.”

Every muscle in your body was taut and ready to explode into your fur. “What do you want?”

“I am Letizia’s sister, Evita. She was killed by the lechuza, that abomination with a face of an owl.” Evita stops a few feet away from you. “I came to thank you.”

——————————

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#edward cullen #edward cullen fanfic #edward cullen fanfiction #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen x you #twilight #twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #twilight fandom

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kjhmyg · 3 years ago

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rough edges pt. 12 (m)

pairing: jungkook | reader genre: college!au, badboy!jk warnings: mentions of death, drugs, executions, drinking, trafficking, getting high, unprotected sex, anxiety. word count: 16k

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 6.5 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / part 12 / masterlist

a/n: i hope everyone is doing well. love you all.

RE asks tag / pinterest board

Considering Hongjun’s offer was your first mistake. Next was contacting the number on the napkin. You hadn’t told anyone about it. After Hoseok left, you took a long shower and tried to sleep it off. But you couldn’t when your mind kept you up. You heard Hana come home that night and check on you, closing the door gently when you don’t move.

The truth is that Hongjun was right; which is a scary thing to say. It may not seem like it but you do want the same thing. Setting aside the differences in your individual motives, your end goal was to free Jungkook from the syndicate.

He replies to your text the next day with a time and place. It’s far out and with a quick search online, you realise he’s asked you to meet at a massage parlour. Knowing them, it’s probably a front for all the shady stuff going on in the back, disguised as another business. In the end, you proposed your own location to be safe. Thankfully, he agrees.

“You don’t have to be scared of me.” He approaches.

“What?”

The busy street takes away any reservations you had about meeting him. One scream and all eyes would be on you, leaving him powerless.

“Meeting at a public place like this, in the middle of the afternoon.” He scoffs. “I know what you’re doing.”

“Can you blame me?”

“Guess not.” He shrugs. “So you’ve thought about this? You’re really going to do this?”

“Do what, exactly? I want details before I give you an answer.”

“Fair enough.”

The two of you walk towards a bar, filled with people in suits, seemingly the harmless kind. Probably office workers getting off work. You take the table at the back, one with a reserved sign on top. Hongjun pushes it away without much thought, and you assume he’s a regular here, and that the table was kept empty for him in the first place considering how the bartenders don’t even bat an eye.

He gets himself a beer and then looks at you. “I’m good. Thanks.”

“Suit yourself.”

“So tell me, what’s your plan?”

He grins. “No small talk before we get to business? I mean, tell me about yourself. Your hobbies. Your boyfriend.”

You tilt your head with a passive look on your face. “Really? As if you don’t know all that already. You probably even know my grade point average.”

Hongjun laughs. “I’m not that resourceful. Besides, I don’t care about any of that. I only need you.”

You shift uncomfortably. “What for?”

“Believe it or not, I only need you to convince him to quit.”

He says it so casually it makes you laugh, even more because it’s ridiculous. A small part of you thinks he might be joking, but realise he’s quite serious. As if you hadn’t just spent the last year or so doing exactly that. “Believe it or not, I’ve tried.” You frown. “He’s not that easy.”

“Yeah but you didn’t bring him solutions, did you? Obviously, he’s not going to quit knowing they’d come after his ass.”

“What are you saying?”

He rests his forearms on the table and leans forward. “The only way he’ll quit is if he knows both of you will be safe. Which means you can’t stay here, not anymore.” He smiles. “That’s where I come in. I can guarantee you safe passage out of here.”

As he speaks, you try to decipher if he’s telling the truth. What if this was all a ruse? “You’re asking me to run away with him? What makes you think he’ll come with?”

“Come on, it’s you. He’d do anything for you I’m sure.”

He’s right about that too. Jungkook would. “I don’t know...”

Your hesitation is expected, so it doesn’t seem to bother him much. It bothers you, because he probably would have thought about all the different ways this meeting could go. He leans back and shrugs. “It’s the only way.”

“There must be some other way.”

“Not for someone like Jungkook. He’s way up there, close to the head. He knows way too much already, done too much. If he quits, he’s a liability. And there’s only one way we deal with those in our organisation.”

“A fucked up way...”

You suddenly wish you had a drink in hand. What are you even doing here? Talking to Hongjun of all people. If either Jungkook or Namjoon knew what you were doing, they’d lose their heads. Hongjun’s plan was less impressive than you thought it’d be. Maybe you were expecting too much. Even so, he isn’t wrong. The only way to help Jungkook is if he disappears. That way, no one can hurt him.

“Also,” you move closer to the table, “what do you mean by, ‘he’s way up there’?”

He’s amused, as if you’ve just given him something new to work with. “You’re telling me you don’t know? He’s almost like our boss’s right hand man. Almost. He’s more like the favourite child.”

You take a breath. “So he knows everything?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “He knows it all. Sometimes he and his partner get to make decisions. I mean you’ve been at the club, haven’t you? I didn’t get a club of my own to run, nor did any of the other teams in other districts.”

Jungkook did tell you he’d joined them as a kid. It would make sense for their boss to have some sort of attachment to him and Suga. It’s likely why they’re getting special treatment. And probably why Hongjun hates them. He’s jealous, you get it now, why he’s always after Jungkook.

“Maybe he’s just good at his job.” You try to defend him, noting the way Hongjun’s face twitches slightly.

“Oh he’s good alright.” Hongjun smirks. “He gets the job done. One word from Kim, and he goes to work like a good boy”

You ignore his little attempt to insult Jungkook. “Jobs like...dealing drugs right?”

“Yup.”

“And so does he do...other jobs for your boss?”

Hongjun’s smile widens, obviously ecstatic at the new revelation that you don’t in fact know everything about your own partner. So much so that you’re asking him questions. “Oh I see, you’re asking if he does the dirty work. Well, dirtier work. I hate to disappoint you my dear but the answer is yes.”

You take a sharp breath to prepare yourself.. “Like what? Like...does it involve hurting others?”

“Everything. He has a lot of blood on his hands.” He enjoys the way you try to hide the shock though it’s so obviously splashed across your face. “You didn’t really think he’s all that innocent, did you? What were you expecting?”

“Nothing.” You say putting an end to it. The fun is just beginning for Hongjun, but luckily for you he drops it. “Um okay. So. Your plan. I don’t know if it’ll work.”

“Then you make it work.”

“I’ll have to wait and see⎼”

“No. You make it work.”

It’s scary how he switches up in seconds; one moment he’s fine and the next it’s as if he’s possessed by the devil himself. He catches himself right after and manages a smile. You return it with a hesitant one, with no choice but to agree for now.

𝄖

Meeting up with Hongjun left you feeling icky. So much that the first thing you did when you reached the apartment was to make a run for the shower. But it couldn’t wash away the feeling on the inside. You let the warm water run down your head and body as you think about what he said.

Jungkook has blood on his hands? He would never. Would he? Would your Jungkook actually kill someone? With you, Jungkook is embarrassed of his ties to their gang, you know that much. He doesn’t like telling you things because he thinks it’ll scare you off. But he hasn’t mentioned doing anything other than dealing with drugs.

But does it matter?

Yes. It does, because this involves life and death. Others’ lives. And deaths. Maybe that’s why Jungkook is so afraid of leaving, because he’s seen first hand what happens to those who do. Maybe he himself has pulled the trigger on⎼

Several loud knocks on the door make you jump. “You okay? You’ve been in there a while.” Hana calls out.

You snap out of it and turn the water off. “I’ll be out in a sec.”

When the door of the bathroom finally opens, Hana turns to you, noting how steamy it got inside from how long you spent showering. “You look like you need a drink.”

“I do.”

You take a seat on the couch, bending over to wrap your wet hair with an old cotton shirt. She sets her phone down and turns her attention to you. “What happened?”

“I went to see Hongjun.”

“Who’s that?”

Your head rests against the couch and you stare up at the ceiling. “The guy that tried to hurt Jungkook. And Mia.”

Hana looks at you, confused. The name doesn’t come up often, and there’s only so much she can remember from all the stories you tell her. “The dangerous one?” You nod. “And why did you do that?”

“He proposed we work together.” Hana raises her brows, seemingly interested. “He had a point, we ultimately want the same thing, which is to get Jungkook to leave the gang.”

“I don’t know what his deal is but it’s definitely not the same thing.” She goes on, “You want what’s best for Jungkook, while it seems this Hongjun guy wants the best for himself.”

“True. But what if both goals can be achieved through the same means? Killing two birds with one stone.” Hana looks skeptical, biting her bottom lip. “If Jungkook is free, it means I’ve succeeded in keeping him out of prison. And at the same time, Hongjun doesn’t have to see his face at work anymore.”

She gets your point. “So what’s the plan then?”

“That’s where I’m kinda stuck at,” you smile awkwardly, “he’s offering us safe passage out of this state. Maybe even country. Anywhere as far away as possible from their boss.”

“You’re kidding, right?” She moves forward. “That’s the only thing he can come up with? I think he’s playing you. There’s no way in hell the only way he can get Jungkook to leave the gang is by getting him to run off with you.”

“But it is...in a way. You see, Jungkook won’t be safe if he leaves. They’ll hunt him down.” Your eyes drop. “And possibly kill him. So the only solution is to leave.”

Hana looks at you with an exasperated look. “And you don’t think Jungkook has the resources himself to run away? You really think he needs someone else’s help to get out of this country undetected? Jungkook has a lot of connections. If he wanted to, he could move to Spain right this second and live under a new identity.”

“I thought of that too.” You sigh, sliding to lie on your side.

“Plus,” she goes on, “would you really leave everything behind?”

“Jungkook asked me the same question once.” You smile thinking about it. “I said, without a doubt.”

And you meant it.

“You would leave your best friend to fend for herself in this scary city?” She pouts and you move to the seat next to her. “And for a man?”

You laugh and cup her face. “Aww. I would miss you though.”

“What’s so special about Jungkook anyway? He doesn’t even put the toilet seat cover down.”

“Oh my god, you’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

She waves her hand about. “What’s so hard about putting the cover back down when you’re done? And would it kill him to not wet the area outside of the shower? Ugh.” She rubs her temples. “That’s the guy you wanna be with? The dick must be worth it.”

You wrap your arms around her middle and push her down on the couch. “Hana!”

She pats the top of your head over the shirt. “Fine. I get it. You love him.” She sighs. “But you know you shouldn’t sacrifice your entire life for a person, even if you love them a lot. You have to think about yourself too.”

“I know.” You say, then push yourself up to face her. “There’s actually something else that Hongjun said which is bothering me.”

“What is it?”

She mirrors you as you cross your legs. “He said that Jungkook’s got a lot of blood on his hands.”

“You mean...Jungkook does more than just dealing drugs?” Hana thinks about it. “That’s not good. What does he mean specifically?”

“I don’t know, but I’m imagining the worst. What if he’s...killed someone before?”

“Y/N that’s…” She shakes her head, unable to even comprehend the thought.

“I know.” You nod, leaning in to wrap your arms around her and rest against her. “If it’s true then that means...it just makes things complicated.” Your heart skips. “Of course, we have to consider the fact that this is Hongjun. He could very well be lying.”

“I hope that’s the case. Because otherwise...that means your boyfriend’s a murderer.”

𝄖

The next month goes by slowly. Four weeks since you’ve laid eyes on Jungkook. You’d be so busy catching up with assignments and preparing for tests, it didn’t occur to you until today, how you don’t see him around campus anymore. Usually, you’d get a glimpse of him in the hallway or the cafeteria. Sometimes he’d take the longer route to class just to pass by yours. But not now. Three weeks ago, Jungkook had told you over the phone that he’d be laying low for a while and won’t get to contact you as much as he’d like to. You didn’t realise he’d go ghost altogether.

After your afternoon class, you take a walk around campus, passing by places you think you’d find him. The school gym, the tracks, cafeteria, the lawn. No sign of Jungkook. The last on your list is the gym hall. Instead of Jungkook, you find Hoseok, shooting hoops by himself.

Turning when the doors creak open, Hoseok smiles warmly. “Hey.” You take a seat on the side bench. “Where’s the rest of the team?”

“We ended early today,” Hoseok says, dribbling the ball as he walks over, “everyone needed a break.”

“That’s nice.” You nod. He stands in front of you, resting the ball against his front with his hands. He stares at you for a little too long. “So uh...was he here earlier?”

“Who?” Hoseok tilts his head. “Jungkook?” You nod and he raises a brow, studying your face before sitting down next to you. “You don’t know?”

You straighten up. “Know about what?”

“Jungkook,” Hoseok lowers his voice as if his words could affect you less that way, “he quit.”

You’re confused at first, as if Hoseok had been speaking in a foreign language. Then your heart rate picks up, anxious if there’s something you should be worried about. “Quit? He quit? He quit the team? When?”

“Y/N…” Hoseok furrows his brows and shakes his head. “He quit college. Left a couple of weeks ago. I thought you knew.”

It doesn’t register immediately. So many questions run through your mind. Hoseok watches quietly from your side. “He didn’t say anything...why would he leave? What happened? Did you do something?”

He looks hurt that you would even think that, mouth parting to defend himself. “I didn’t do anything. He just decided to go. Got all his stuff out within a day. He didn’t speak to me personally but he told the other guys at the house that he’s leaving college for personal reasons.”

“I don’t get it.” You stare at the floor, unable to think straight. Why didn’t he tell you? This isn’t a decision he’d make overnight. It’s a big decision.

“Sorry, I thought you knew. That’s why I never said anything.”

“I should’ve known something was off. I thought it was odd that I never see him around anymore.” You sigh, slowly accepting it. “Figured maybe he just wanted to be extra careful about us.”

Hoseok sighs as well, looking around the court. “Yeah well, it was a surprise to the rest of us too. The team’s bummed out that he won’t be with us during finals.”

“Oh right,” you look at him, sympathising, “the game.”

“Coach didn’t want to make it a big deal. He thinks it’ll make the student body lose confidence in the team, which will affect our morale.”

“He has a point.” You shrug.

Hoseok smiles sadly, “Doesn’t matter, morale’s taken a hit anyway.”

His smile falters when your hand lands on top of his, squeezing slightly. “Let’s go get an early dinner, shall we?”

𝄖

Hoseok digs into his steak while you slowly work on your pasta, building up the courage to tell him about Hongjun. He’d freak out, no doubt about that. But you also promised to keep him updated.

“So,” he starts, “how’s the whole dating in secret thing going?”

“What do you want me to say?” You laugh. “We’re still together, so I guess it’s going well? We haven’t spoken in weeks though.”

“What do you think happened? That he’d leave so suddenly without even telling you?”

You shake your head. “I don’t know. Could be anything. I’m surprised Jimin or Taehyung didn’t tell me.”

“Pretty sure they didn’t want to upset you. Don’t they think you’re broken up?”

“Oh. Right.”

After a while, Hoseok notices the way you’re forking your pasta without taking any actual bites. It looks like you’re searching the food for an answer. He sets his utensils down. “Something bothering you?”

You look up and laugh nervously, releasing a sigh. There’s no use pretending there isn’t, you’d have to tell him anyway. “Yes. There is.” He urges you to tell him. “Don’t freak out, okay?”

“I find that difficult when it comes to you.”

“I met up with one of Jungkook’s...enemies, if you will. He works for the gang too and sort of has this competitive streak with Jungkook.”

“Hold on, does this have anything to do with that guy I saw you with the other time? Back at the cafe?”

“Oh right, you were there. Yup, that’s him. Hongjun.”

Hoseok rubs his forehead. “It looked like he sucked the soul out of you that day. Why would you go looking for him?”

“Because he wants to help me with Jungkook.” You say, but Hoseok looks hesitant. “He’s tried to hurt Jungkook before, and the reason Jungkook wanted to keep us private was to keep me safe from him. But well, he knows. And he wants me to convince Jungkook to run away because it’s the only way we’d be safe from Kim because if Jungkook quits then they’d sure as hell go after him⎼”

“Stop stop stop!” Hoseok closes his eyes and lets out a huff. “This is...a lot. Working with his rival...running away?”

You let him process it all despite not being done. Across from you, he looks like he’s going through the five stages of grief. The irony that you asked him to dinner to cheer him up, but here you are adding on to his stress.

Hoseok’s quiet for a while and you continue eating silently, only the sounds from others in the restaurant filling the air. “What does he want you to do?”

You swallow. “He says he’s going to get us out of here safely if I can convince Jungkook to run away with me. I know what you’re thinking, but if we don’t run, they’ll kill him.”

Hoseok pauses mid-cut with the knife in the steak at the last part, and glances up at you.

“Yeah,” you bite your bottom lip, realising how casual that must have sounded for something so serious, “that’s actually why he hasn’t left them. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he can’t. Not if he wants to live.”

He swallows the lump in his throat, remembering all the times he pressured Jungkook to stop dealing with drugs. It didn’t occur to him how deeply embedded Jungkook is within this gang.

“But...Hongjun also mentioned something else that’s been bothering me.” He looks at you curiously. Paying attention to your surroundings, you soften your voice. “Hongjun may have implied that Jungkook has a hand in crimes other than drugs. That he’s...involved in many other things I can’t say here.”

“My god…” Hoseok mutters, shaking his head. “So now what? I thought you trusted him?”

“I do. And there’s a chance Hongjun is lying.” You say. “But what do you think? You think Jungkook is that kind of person?”

Hoseok takes his time to come up with an answer. He tries to be rational, despite feeling all sorts of emotions after everything you just told him. “Y/N, I know he’s a good guy. But sometimes when we have someone we answer to, we end up doing things for them even though we know it’s not right. If he has done anything seriously bad, even if he didn’t mean it or didn’t want to, he still did it, right? But if I’m correctly reading what you’re implying, it’s bad, isn’t it? And, I know it sucks but he has to face the consequences if that’s true.

Once the operation goes through, even if you’re gone by then, they’re gonna find out about Jungkook and the things he did, and that would mean you’d be on the run with a wanted man. Do you really want to be an accessory to his crimes?”

“No…” You lose your appetite, pushing your plate away. “I don’t want to believe Jungkook is that kind of person. But you’re right. He may not have had a choice.”

“Like you said, Hongjun may be lying too.” Hoseok says and you nod. “But what are you gonna do if he was telling the truth?”

“I don’t know.” The longer you think about it, the more confusing it gets. Either scenario is possible and you don’t know which to believe. “Hoseok, I’m scared. I love Jungkook so much, but I can’t defend him if he’s really done some seriously bad things. Things he can’t make right.”

He doesn’t know what to say, giving you a sympathetic smile in response. “Ask him. He’ll tell you the truth.”

Honestly, you’re not sure if you’re ready to find out the truth. But you nod anyway. “Okay. I will. Once I can confirm that he’s not what Hongjun says he is…”

“Then what?” Hoseok raises his brows, expecting you to continue. “You’ll run off with him?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” You pout. “Running away is a little extreme…”

“Well, it seems like you have a lot of thinking to do!” His lips spread into a smile when your expression changes from a sad one to confusion. “What?”

“Seriously?” You raise your brows “No lecture? No you need to stop before you get hurt warning from you?”

“You do what you want anyway. Does it matter if I say it?”

“Yes!” You frown in the cute way you do, then say softly, “It’s comforting.”

He smiles to himself and looks away before his cheeks explode. “Fine. Please be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Good.” You’re satisfied. “I’ll speak to Jungkook. In the meantime, could you ask Seokjin if they have any updates? I don’t wanna get caught off guard.”

“Sure.”

𝄖

You: can we meet?

He reads your message just after midnight, but you don’t get a reply. It’s two nights later, at 11pm on Friday, when you finally get a call from him. He’s sent for a cab to pick you up and you get ready, excited to be seeing him in weeks despite everything on your mind.

Jungkook doesn’t tell you where you’re going. The driver wouldn’t tell you either, only following Jungkook’s orders and the directions on his GPS. Forty-five minutes later, you arrive at a park you’ve never been to, all the way on the other side of the city.

The ride is paid for but you don’t see many people around, so you’re hesitant to leave the car until you spot Jungkook’s bike a few metres down the road. Looking around, you see no sign of him anywhere. You’re about to call him on your phone, when finally you hear a low whistle coming from behind you. He leans with his arms crossed against a tree, a smile on his face.

Running into his arms, he lifts you up and does a little spin. “Where have you been?” You ask.

“Hello to you too.” He kisses the side of your head. “I missed you so much.”

“You have a lot of explaining to do.” You say when he finally sets you down and he sighs, accepting the glare you’re giving him.

You take a walk through the park and reach an area up a hill, overlooking a small town in the next city. It feels nice to have your fingers interlaced with his again, to be near him and smell his cologne. Despite the view, you give him your undivided attention. His eyes look tired, like he hasn’t had good rest.

“You got a haircut,” you say, touching the sides where it’s shorter than before. He’s styled it up instead of letting his bangs fall over his face.

“You like it?”

“I love it. It’s sexy.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.” He leans forward, aiming for your lips, only for his to be met with your finger stopping him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you left college?”

Jungkook knew this was coming, he sighs, “I didn’t want to make it a big deal, sorry. I was going to tell you soon.” He smiles, placing his hands on the small of your back, gently swaying you. “When did you find out?”

“Honestly, a few days ago.” You smile sheepishly. “I thought you were just really good at avoiding me. I only knew when Hoseok told me.”

“Oh.” His tone drops when you mention Hoseok’s name.

“Wanna tell me why you left?”

He looks at your lips, then your nose and then eyes. “I had to. Suga wanted me to. It’s the only way he’d leave you alone.”

“He forced you to? Because of me? I’m so sorry…”

The swaying comes to a stop and he leans in to kiss you, treasuring the taste of your lips and the soft satisfied sigh you let out. Your eyes remain shut when he pulls away and he smiles. “Don’t be. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. What an ass. He shouldn’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Jungkook shakes his head, not in disagreement but to say he doesn’t want to drag it out. “Leave it. It’s done anyway.”

“Fine.” You resign, “So you’re working full time now. What have you been up to?”

He shrugs. “The same old things. And some other stuff I guess...”

“Hm.” You nod, then look away, resting your head against his chest. “You know you can talk to me about these things right? You don’t have to hide things from me anymore.”

The weight of his head rests on yours. “I know. ”

The two of you stay in each other's arms for a while, in silence. “Just so we’re clear, I’m still annoyed you didn’t tell me you quit.”

You can’t see his face but you can tell his smile has stretched. “Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Not in the last month, no.” You giggle.

“I love you.” He kisses your forehead. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You wanna go for a ride?” He asks out of the blue.

“Don’t you have to work tonight? What if Suga finds out?”

“One night won’t hurt.” He grins, already interlacing your fingers together.

𝄖

Taeho walks behind Hongjun as they roam their district, walking down alleyways and other remote areas, waiting for buyers. They rest against the side of a brick wall while waiting for a couple more of their usuals.

“So what’s the deal with that girl?” Taeho asks.

“Which one?”

“The one with Ace. I thought you said you were gonna bring her on board.”

Hongjun scoffs. It’s been weeks since you last met, and he hadn’t even thought about you until Taeho mentioned it. Mostly because he hasn’t had to run into Jungkook at all the past month, so it was easier to pretend he (and you) doesn't exist. “Oh that one. Yeah. She never called back. Maybe I spooked her. And I wasn’t going to bring her on board. I wanted her to get Ace to quit.”

“Like that’ll ever happen.” Taeho laughs. “You think Ace is gonna quit for a girl? Come on.”

“Not just any girl maybe, but this girl.” He smiles thinking about it. “She’s got him head over heels.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Taeho shakes his head. “This is Ace we’re talking about. I mean, there’s a reason we call him Ace.”

“Will you shut up?” He sends Taeho a dirty look. Jungkook earned that nickname when after constantly showing the team he could give results. Deal numbers were high, and he managed to get one of the rival gangs to give up their claim of an area. Needless to day, Hongjun despises that name. “Apparently he’s serious about this girl. And she’s not like us. From what I hear, he’d do anything for her.”

“Seriously? That’s weak.” Taeho thinks about it for a minute. “You really think he would quit because of her?”

“Even if he didn’t, I wanted her to try. So he’d be conflicted. I want him to go crazy having to choose between her and work, thinking about leaving all this behind and maybe when he finally does crack, Kim will know that I wasn’t wrong for beating him up that day.” Hongjun snickers, “You should’ve seen the way Kyun reacted when I brought her up. It’s like he was on to Ace too. Too bad I didn’t have any evidence back then.”

“Why don’t you just go and tell Kyun what you know now?”

“Because I want Ace to ruin his own life. I don’t want to do it for him, not directly at least, that’s no fun.” Hongjun smiles just imagining the inner turmoil Jungkook would be going through. “He got so worked up over her. I want him to feel so fucking bad about not being able to be with her that maybe just maybe it gets to a point where he decides to finally walk away from us. And when that happens…”

“Bang.” Taeho pretends to make a shot with his hand.

“Exactly!” Hongjun claps his hands together. “And guess who’d move up the ranks in Kim’s books?”

Taeho rolls his eyes. “So is she not going to do it?”

“Well, Ace is not dead yet so I guess not.”

“Maybe she just needs some motivation.”

They look at each other, both exchanging malicious looks. Hongjun gives Taeho an approving slap on his back.

𝄖

The sand is soft and cool to your touch. The breeze blowing at you the familiar smell of the open water. Jungkook lies between your legs with his back to your chest while he plays with your hands.

“Hmm...What about your first kiss?”

“Oh god.”

“Come on!” You whine, making him smile. He can’t see your face but he knows you look adorable. “I’ve told you everything about me.”

He sighs, giving in. “Fine. First kiss...I don’t know. It was with a girl I barely knew at some party I crashed. We played spin the bottle and it landed on me. Wasn’t that memorable. I think she enjoyed it though.”

You hum. It may not be memorable to him, but you enjoy finally getting to know these things, the little things he never shared before, because thinking about his past was painful enough. “How about your first…time?”

“Oh? Now we’re talking.” He turns his head up and his hands move to the back of your neck, guiding you to meet him halfway in a kiss. You push him away when it starts to get intense.

“Just kidding. I don’t wanna know that.” You giggle and he’s annoyed that your makeout session is cut short but he smiles anyway. “I never even told you mine.”

“Yeah because I’m not a creep who asks about someone’s first time.”

“Shut up. It was a joke.”

He laughs then laces your fingers together, pulling your hands to the center so your arms envelope him nicely. You’re not the only ones on the beach, with other couples and groups around you, though at a good distance away. Jungkook starts humming, wishing he could spend the rest of the night here with you.

While he seems content, your mind runs wild. You wonder how he would react if you asked him about what you’re thinking about. You clear your throat and though you do it subtly, he stirs and looks up at you. “What is it? Why are you all tense?”

“There’s something I want to ask you but...I don’t want you to get mad.” You admit.

He laughs, not knowing what you mean. “What is it this time? You wanna know about my first blowjob?”

“What? Ew. No. It’s about work.” He stops laughing and you notice the light in his eye slowly fade away. “But if you don’t want to, it's fine, I get it. I mean, you’re here to not work so why would you wanna think about work. I know it seems like I’m obsessed with your job or something but I promise that’s not the case⎯”

“Y/N stop,” he laughs again at your sudden outburst, “it’s alright, I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?”

“No.” He kisses the back of your hand. “Although, I’m still trying to get used to opening up...so it caught me off guard.”

“I told you, you can tell me anything.” You press a kiss to the side of his head. “You’re doing good though. I don’t wanna push you if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Ask away.” He smiles though he feels his anxiety rising.

“Just a simple question. I was thinking about your boss, he calls all the shots right?” Jungkook nods. “So has he ever asked you to do things for him?”

“Like run errands? Yeah.”

“Not errands per se, but more like...I mean, he’s brutal, isn’t he? He gets people...killed?”

Jungkook narrows his brows. “Yeah? Hey I told you, nothing like that is going to happen to me.”

“No. I know.” You sigh, feeling a heavy weight on your chest. You’re praying he doesn’t take it the wrong way. “I want to know if you've ever been asked to kill someone?”

“Y/N…”

“I’m sorry. I’m curious. I...I need to know.”

Jungkook stirs from his position and sits up so he can face you, pulling you into his arms this time. He presses your foreheads together. “Where do you get such silly ideas from? I’ve done a lot of bad things, but I’ve never killed anyone.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. “I was worried, you know? That maybe your boss makes you do such things for him…”

He smiles, “I’ve never had to do anything like that. He has his own men to do those dirty work. I mainly deal with drugs.”

“And the escorts.”

Jungkook gulps, looking down for a moment, then back at you. “Yeah, that too.” There’s always that worry that it might be too much. “But...we are trained to defend ourselves. They taught us how to use guns, how to aim and shoot. So if I’m ever in a life or death situation...I might have to pull that trigger.”

“I hope you never have to.” He looks down again and you tilt your head to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

“What if I have...killed someone...would that change how you feel about me?”

You want to say no, but the truth is that it would be difficult to live with that fact. “I don’t know. Yes? I still love you, but that’s a big deal. It’s not something you can just sweep under the rug, you know what I mean?”

“I get it.” Jungkook takes a deep breath. “Since we’re on this topic, I might as well bring this up. I want to be honest with you. I may not have killed anyone but I have hurt people. Lots of them. Beat them up, thrashed their place, threatened them, made their lives hell if they didn’t comply…no one made me do it, I just wanted to.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I wanted people to be scared of me. That’s what I saw our members do when I was growing up. Everyone listened to them, was scared of them, they had so much power. And I wanted to be like that, to be in control for once. It was fun back then, made me feel powerful, like a man. Whatever that means. I’m not proud of it.” He studies you. “Does it change how you feel about me now? Be honest.”

“It kind of scares me a little.” You admit, bringing yourself closer when you notice the look in his eyes. “But I’m glad you told me. I’m not condoning what you did. It was definitely wrong. I don't like it...but you can change now that you’re aware of it. You can work on yourself and be better.”

“I’m not that kind of person anymore. I haven’t beaten anyone up in ages.”

You laugh and even Jungkook snickers when he hears what he says out loud. “I’m happy to hear that.”

Jungkook seems hesitant still, but asks you anyway. “Anymore questions?”

You bite your bottom lip. Might as well. “One more. If I asked you to run away with me, would you?”

“You want to run...from what?” He stares at you, unsure if you’re joking, but your expression says it all.

“I want to run with you, so you can be free from...Kim.”

“Y/N…”

You shake your head, suddenly regretting what you just said. “I...I only want you to be safe. You can leave all of this nonsense behind. And if escaping is the only way you don’t end up seriously hurt, then I’m in.”

Jungkook pulls you into his embrace and you let yourself cling to him like a koala. “I am safe. Don’t worry. I’ll find a way for me to leave without getting in trouble, but I’ll need time. Suga shouldn’t have put that thought in your head.”

Except it wasn’t just Suga. Namjoon and Hongjun had basically confirmed something bad would happen to him if he wasn't careful. “But would you? Run away with me?”

“Baby like I said, I won’t let you choose me over everything you have. It’s not fair. I don’t want that.”

“Small price to pay for you.”

Jungkook laughs again, then squishes your cheeks between his fingers. “How is that a small price?”

“Okay, it’s a big price. But I’ll find a way to deal with it, if you want to.” You pout. “That’s how much I care about you.”

Knowing how stubborn you are, the seriousness of your tone and the look on your face tells him you’re seriously considering it. It’s concerning. The last thing he wants is to drag you into his mess.

“You know I don’t judge you for the things you do. And have done. Especially because I know you regret it, and want to change.” You sigh. “I can tell you don’t want that life anymore. It pains me to see you sacrificing a life you can have for the life you no longer want.”

“Baby please…”

“I know, I know. It’s not easy. But that’s how I really feel and I want you to know that.”

“Thank you for being honest with me.” He smiles. “I’m sorry this is hard on you too.”

“No.” You cup his face. “It’s not your fault. I know you still think you’re a bad person. Maybe you were back then, but what’s important is who you are now. I hope one day you can be free from your past, and free of others telling you what to do. You can be you, the real you. Basically what I’m saying is, you deserve a good life too, you know? The life you want.”

His eyes start to well with tears. “Next question.” He says in a shaky voice and you laugh.

Wiping away the wetness from his eyes with your sleeve, you rest your forehead on his and think about it. Before you can say anything else, he starts, “How about I tell you about my first love?”

You smile. “Go on.”

He sets you down on the sand and you want to protest about getting sand in your hair but the way he looks tonight is distracting you. Jungkook hovers over you and traces his finger over the features of your face. “She’s beautiful...kind...pretty eyes…soft lips...looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you.”

You giggle. “She sounds cool.”

“Oh she is. Drives me crazy sometimes, but most of the time, makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world to be loved by her.”

He leans in to kiss you and presses his body to yours. His hands move down to your hips but you place yours over them and stop him. Confused, he looks at you for permission to continue. “We can’t do it here.” You say, regaining awareness of others around you. Though it’s dark and you could probably get away with it without getting their attention, you still don’t want sand everywhere.

Obnoxious laughter and screaming comes from the other groups there and he rolls his eyes, as it ruins the vibe for him. “You’re right, let’s get out of here.”

He gets up first, holding his hand out to help you up, brushing sand off your back and giving your butt an extra slap or two, earning a glare from you. Then he holds you close by the waist. “Where to, princess?”

𝄖

Hoseok doesn’t get why Seokjin is too hard to contact. It’s not like he’s the one undercover, all he does is sit behind his desk and⎼ he stops himself before he gets too worked up. All the frustration he thought he left behind when you and Jungkook broke up is coming back to the surface. Now that Jungkook’s no longer staying under the same roof, he can no longer keep track of him.

The line on the other end finally clicks. “Hello?”

“Finally!” Hoseok exhales. “Why is it so hard to get to you?”

“Excuse me, I’m working. I can’t just drop everything to have a conversation with you.” Seokjin goes off on the other line, and Hoseok backs down. He hears Seokjin move from a busy to a quieter place where his voice is clearer. “Plus, we’re not even supposed to be contacting each other. What do you want from me?”

“I need some updates.”

Seokjin sighs. “I already told you I’ll contact you if I have any new information. Even though I’m not obliged to do it and technically this is illegal⎼”

“Please.” Hoseok says softly. “There must be something.”

A few seconds of silence, then he says. “Fine. He contacted us recently, and says there’s some new development. But he can only meet up with us in the next few weeks, haven’t told us when yet.”

“Is that good news?”

“I don’t know, but at least we know the plan is still working. I’ll let you know when I get updated.”

But⎼”

The call ends and Hoseok is met with the dial tone before he can even finish his sentence. He wonders how you’re doing. He wasn’t surprised when you told him about Jungkook being Kim’s right hand man. It took everything he had not to say I told you so, not to tell you to stop seeing Jungkook again for your own good.

His mind goes back to that day he saw you two in the locker room, the same day you told him to reflect on his intentions. Has his motive really shifted from trying to help Jungkook to trying to keep you away from Jungkook? He hates that you’re right. There was only so much he could say to Jungkook and he was wasting his energy with that one. He doesn’t get why you’d trouble yourself for him. Hoseok catches himself from whatever he’s thinking. Maybe he is a little jealous.

He calls your number and waits. It continues to ring for a while but you don’t pick up. He ends the call and throws himself back on his bed.

𝄖

Your place was too far, so he brought you to the empty apartment you’d been in before. That address on the paper. The entire drive there you let your hands roam from his middle, slyly snaking your hands down to his thighs and back up, just to rile him up.

Jungkook’s playlist plays in the background while you makeout with him on the couch, slowly losing pieces of your clothing, each one ending up on the carpet below.

“Is it me or do you smell really good tonight?” He asks, nose grazing over the skin of your collarbone.

“That’s just your hormones going crazy.” He smirks, pressing his lips to your skin gently in the way that makes your breath shake. “But I did put on that perfume you like.”

“You were ready for this,” he says, “bet you planned for it all along.”

“Oh yeah, I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me.” You shove him away and sit up on the couch. He follows, eyes focused on the way the straps of your bra fall off your shoulders.

“You even have matching underwear. It seems I’ve fallen into your trap.”

“Will you shut up?” You laugh, pulling his face in for a kiss. You did, in fact, make sure to have matching pieces while you were getting ready earlier.

You only vaguely remember how this place looks. The last time you were here, it was bright and you were feeling dizzy. Now with the lights dimmed, you can’t tell if anything’s changed. What you do remember is the view of the city, which looks even better at night. Scattered lights showing you a different side to the city compared to what you’re used to. “Beautiful isn’t it?”

“It is.” You turn your attention back to him. “I forgot, is this your place?”

“A friend’s.” You nod, snuggling up to him and tracing a finger down his bare chest and abs. “I love sitting up here and looking at the view.”

“What about this view?” Your hands move to your back to unclasp your bra, and it joins the rest of your clothes. Jungkook wets his lips with a satisfied smile, pulling you to his lap so that you’re straddling him.

He holds on to your wrist to keep you from running off and you squirm, moving your clothed core over the hard-on in his pants. He exhales at the friction and tightens his grip, placing a firm hand on one side of your ass. You’re giggling despite him being rough with you and he huffs. “You really get a kick out of teasing me, don’t you?”

The innocent look you give him almost snaps him out of the cloud of lust surrounding his mind. Your arms snake around his head as he brings you closer, burying his face in your chest. He flicks his tongue over one of your breasts, rolling it over the nipple. You sigh in pleasure, bringing his hand to work on the other. He chuckles when you start to roll your hips impatiently, kneading your breasts with his hands. He sings along to the music as he moves across your skin, lips grazing against your shoulder and you giggle.

You lean back and take a second to look at him. Under the dim light, studying his features; his eyes, nose, the mole under his soft lips. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m happy,” you say softly and he smiles. You stare into his eyes, one filled with lust and so much more. The way he’s looking at you makes your heart skip, and you lean into his ear, whispering, “I want you.”

“You want me to what?”

“I want you to fuck me.”

Something flashes in his eyes and Jungkook allows you to lie back on the couch, while he kneels between your legs, unbuckling his belt, keeping his eyes on yours. With your focus dropping down to his hands at work, he slowly unbuttons and unzips his pants, then hooks his thumb under the band of his boxers and tugs it down along with his pants. “Now you’re teasing me.”

You push yourself up and come face to face with his semi-hard cock, mouth watering at the sight of it. Just as he shoves his pants to the floor, your phone goes off and starts to ring, interrupting the moment. Ignoring it, you give a long lick on the underside of his cock and your boyfriend hisses. “Are you going to get that?” He asks in a strained voice, trying to glance at the screen but gets distracted when he feels your warm hands wrapping around him.

“I’m kind of busy at the moment.” You say before welcoming him into your mouth.

Taking your time, slowly moving up and down his length, Jungkook musters up all his will not to buck his hips into you. His hands position themselves on the sides of your head as he guides you to the pace he likes. You watch him as you go, not wanting to miss the faces he makes and the sounds that leave him as he throws his head back above you.

As you move back up, your hands pump the rest of his length, and the grip on your hair tightens when you suck on the tip. “Fuck...fuck me.”

It’s when you have him fully in your mouth again that you start to hollow out your cheeks, moving back up and down his length. After a while, it proves to be too much for him so he removes himself from you and shoves you back down on the couch.

While he calms himself down with steady breaths, you slip a hand under your panties and start touching yourself as he watches. Jungkook feels the room getting warmer watching you pleasure yourself. His cock twitches in his hand when your breathing starts to hitch and soft whimpers escape from you. He gets the panties off so he can have a better view.

Two fingers move in and out of you and he palms his own length as he watches, listening to how soaked you are and wanting to feel that all around him. When your thighs start to tense up, he swats your hand away and aligns himself with your entrance.

Carefully, he enters and your mouth parts, gasping at the initial stretch as he slips the rest of his length inside you easily, filling you to the brim. Staying that way for a moment, he then starts with gentle movements of his hips, leaning down to face you, “I’m happy too.”

Body pressed against each other and his hips slowly gaining momentum, your soft moans earns you kisses all over. Tender smiles on both your faces as he starts to pick up the pace even more, hooking his arm under one of your legs to get a better angle.

Your phone goes off again when you receive a bunch of texts. Jungkook raises a brow at you, “You’re popular tonight.”

You laugh, “Yeah I’m booked for weeks.”

A hand strokes your thigh, then squeezes it. “Sorry I didn’t make an appointment sooner.”

“I can always squeeze you in.”

Jungkook fights a laugh, “Have your secretary put me down for next month. Same time, same place.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll always have time for my man.”

Jungkook pauses, expression changing completely when you say that. As cheesy as it is, his heart flutters when you claim him as yours. You tilt your head in question, eyes moving between his. “I like it when you say that.”

“What?”

“When you call me your man.”

With the way you’re pressed against each other, he feels the rise in your heartbeat as you felt his. There’s no going back for Jungkook, this is right and he feels it. He’s going to do everything he can to make sure you end up together. “You’re such a cutie.” You kiss him, moving your hips up, “My man.”

His hips meet yours halfway, and he presses kisses over your body as he moves down and gets on his knees, before pulling out and lightly tapping you to get up as well. He sits on the couch and you position your legs on either side of his. He holds you by the waist as you lower yourself on his cock, taking your time to slide all the way down.

Jungkook loses it from the way your face twists and little whimpers, and he bucks his hips up to meet yours which has you crying out, slapping his shoulder. He gives you a silly grin, dropping his head against the couch. “Sorry.”

Leaning against him for support, he holds you close as he lets you go at your own pace, grinding your hips against his. He watches intently the changes in your expression, every sound that comes out of your mouth only adding to the fire in the pit of his stomach.

You push away, now grabbing hold of his arms as you move up and down his cock, biting your lip to stop yourself from squealing every time he’s deep inside you. Jungkook focuses on your body this time, memorising every little detail. You smile shyly when you realise his intense staring and his face softens, hands coming up to play with your breasts. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Why not?” He interrupts your rhythm with kisses to your chest. “You’re so sexy.”

You smile shyly, like you always do when he compliments you while you’re together.

"Do you miss our meetups on campus?" He asks, voice going soft. He's always enjoyed sneaking into empty or unused classrooms for a quick one.

"I think about you all the time when I pass by the art classes," you giggle, "they were your favourite classes to sneak into."

"The paint smell drowns out the smell of...us." You both laugh. "I miss fucking you on the desks. And you trying your best to hide your moaning, trying not to get caught. Pulling down your pants and bending you over⎼ fuck⎼"

His middle tenses up and you feel the throbbing of his cock inside you. His hands hold your hips in place, stopping you from grinding into him.

"You okay?"

He chuckles in response, pressing a palm over his forehead. "I almost came from that."

“Cum then.” You say, and Jungkook stares at you, trying his best not to lose control, which evidently, you make it quite difficult to do.

“Don’t.” He warns, feeling the precum leaking inside you. He takes a deep breath, still keeping you still.

“Then make me cum.”

Now he gets heated. Jungkook takes over, thrusting up into you as you hold on to his shoulders. With each thrust, it gets harder to keep yourself up, leaning on him for support while his hands hold on tight to your ass to keep you steady. You moan right into his ear each time he thrusts into you.

He switches positions while still inside you. Placing you back down to the couch, he spreads your thighs open and starts ramming into you.

“Fuck,” you mutter, hands grabbing on to anything you can get a grip on.

Your fingers cling to the fabric of the couch, knuckles feeling strained. He only slows down to wipe the sweat off his forehead and pushes his hair back. You admire his body from where you lie, chest heaving and abs gleaming. As he continues, Jungkook pays attention to the way his cock moves in and out of you. His thrusts start to get harder and deeper, knocking the wind right out of you.

Leaning down, he cups the side of your face, noticing how your eyes can barely open, you’re almost there. His hand drops down to find your clit, and you twitch when his fingers rub against it.

“Don’t stop,” you manage to get out in a soft voice and he replies with a kiss, “it feels so good baby.”

He keeps going in the rhythm you like, thumb still working on your clit. It doesn’t take long for your breath to hitch and your moans get louder and needier. The tension that builds in your core finally snaps and your thighs shake as you come undone, cumming all over his cock. Jungkook breathes out at the feeling of your walls convulsing around him.

He gives you a second to recover before continuing, now lying on you, between your legs. He keeps his face next to yours and you hear his breaths against your ear, grunting with every thrust.

You run your fingers through the back of his head and he brings his face to yours, pressing your foreheads against each other. He goes into a steady pace and you sigh, feeling your center tense up again building up to another orgasm. “I’m gonna cum again,” you say against his lips.

“Not yet.” He bites your bottom lip.

“I can’t⎼”

“I said not yet, babygirl.”

Having to delay your orgasm makes the feeling even more intense. You whine in response, head going dizzy trying to focus on not giving your body that climax it’s ready for. Jungkook grabs your jaw and forces you to look at him. He gets on his knees again and squeezes your thighs on either side before ramming into you. You marvel at the sight of him, abs clenching everytime he slams into you. He gets sloppier as he goes, the grip on your thigh loosening.

Jungkook’s focused on you, your face and breathing, the way your breasts bounce with each thrust. “Fuck.” He hisses, reaching his own climax. A hard slap lands on your ass, and you cry out loud at the sudden unexpected contact, which causes you to lose grip of yourself and eventually the tension in your belly snaps, and you succumb to an orgasm more intense than the last one.

It has your toes curling and thighs convulsing uncontrollably. With your walls clenching around him and your moans filling the room, the sight of you fucked out before him, Jungkook can’t hold himself back any longer. He cums seconds after you do, sloppily thrusting into you as your hips buck up in reflex. Your mind buzzes and you barely hear Jungkook call out your name as he cums, warm seed mixing with your juices.

“Holy shit.” He rides it out, continuing to slam into you till the very last drop, before taking a deep breath and dropping down onto you. You wrap your arms around him, rubbing a soothing hand against his back and giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

“I love you.” You say, whispering.

“I love you more.” He kisses you, moving from gentle pecks to wet kisses and then you’re laughing when you feel him twitch inside you.

“Easy,” you giggle, “we just finished.”

“Can’t help it, you keep teasing me.” You laugh and shove his head. He removes himself from you and you gasp, feeling the stickiness drip down your ass. The couch is probably ruined and your thighs are going to hurt tomorrow.

You make space for him to cuddle with you. “I love you baby.”

“You already said that.” He laughs, “And I told you, I love you more.”

You look up at him. “I just feel like I need to tell you that. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Jungkook smiles tenderly, then gives you a kiss on the forehead. “I love you too, my darling.”

𝄖

Whispers and murmurs reach your ears, though the sounds are faded, like you’re underwater. When you finally find your way out of the dream you were having, your mind finally awakens and your senses alert, your eyes peek open and the brightness of the day glares at you through the large windows. You’d ended up back on the couch last night after a shower. But Jungkook's arms are no longer holding you close.

The voices are still there, whispering. At first, you thought it was the television, but carefully paying attention to the voices, you realise it’s coming from Jungkook and someone else in the apartment.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” The familiar voice says.

“It’s just one night. I told him I needed a break anyway,” Jungkook says, “how’d you know I was here?”

“My alarm went off.” He says. “Checked the cameras and realised it was you.”

“Okay well, I didn’t know where else to go, Namjoon.” Jungkook sighs. “I just wanted to spend time with her.”

Namjoon? He’s here.

“Fine. Whatever. Just make sure you have a solid excuse if he asks you where you’ve been.” You hear the fridge opening and closing. “Anyway, I have some news. Overheard some of the men at HQ saying that Kim wants to accelerate the merge.”

Jungkook doesn’t respond for a few seconds. “What?”

“Another shipment got caught. Kim suspects that the cops are on our tail now.” Namjoon says. Your heart sinks. If they find out about the operation, it’ll ruin everything. “He’s furious.”

“Oh fuck.”

“And you know what, one of Barome’s men got arrested the other day for fraud.” You hear Jungkook groaning and Namjoon shushes him. “So now Barome’s a threat to us, because his men might snitch on us to save their organisation. Unless⎼

“Unless we’ve merged, which means he’d be tied to us and less likely to betray us.”

“Exactly,” Namjoon lets out a breathy chuckle, “so we have no choice. The merge is happening. Soon.”

“Shit.”

An uncomfortable silence follows. You didn’t know Namjoon had his own reservations about how things are at work. At least, not to this extent; based on what you heard and his tone while speaking, you assume he’s not happy at all.

“You need to keep her safe from all of this.”

You feel their eyes shift to you. Keeping your body still, you try to keep even breaths to make it seem like you’re still sleeping. Their voices lower a notch like they can tell you’re faking it. As if on queue, your usual alarm rings, your heart almost ripping out of your chest.

Jungkook goes over to you as you pretend to awaken, doing a little stretch and yawn. “Good morning.” He says, climbing back onto the sofa bed.

“Morning.” You say sleepily, reaching for your phone to snooze the alarm before turning to him. Your attention moves over his shoulder where you see Namjoon standing behind the kitchen island. You give him a little wave and smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Just paying Jungkook a visit.” He says.

It gets awkward after that, neither of the two wanting to say anything, and you, having overheard everything. If your thoughts could materialise, the entire room would go up in flames. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” Namjoon intercepts before Jungkook can say anything. He makes a move first, grabbing his bag and a bottle of fruit juice from the fridge. “I’ll be downstairs.”

“What was that about?” You ask when you’re finally alone again. “Is he mad that I’m here?”

“No, he’s stressed out about work. Nothing to do with you.”

“Oh.”

“Go get cleaned up. I’ll send you home, then I have to get going.” Jungkook says and you nod.

You go off, climbing over him to get to the other side and he smacks your ass as you go. Already halfway to the bathroom, your alarm starts to ring again. “Could you get that for me?” You call out to him before closing the door.

Jungkook lies on his front, reaching for your phone. He dismisses the alarm and is about to set your phone back, but notifications from the night before start popping up again. He’s not a prying kind of person, but Hoseok’s name popping up on screen gets him curious. The missed call, a string of messages, all from the same person.

He shouldn’t have, but he taps on the pop-up notification and the messages drop down, giving him a preview of your conversation.

[1:05 AM] Hoseok: hey hope you’re ok [1:07 AM] Hoseok: anw i thought about what you told me. and what you said that day… [1:07 AM] Hoseok: whatever you're thinking of doing, i'm in [1:07 AM] Hoseok: call me back when you wake up i have...

The rest of the message disappears into the notification. Jungkook puts the phone down and lies on his back. “Jung Hoseok, you just don’t know when to stop, don’t you?”

𝄖

Jungkook sends you home without much thought, until he has to say goodbye. He drives his bike into the alleyway next to your building so you wouldn’t be seen out front. “I’m going to miss you.” You put on a cute voice and pout your lips towards him.

He chuckles, getting off his bike to give you a long hug. You stay that way for a good five minutes, savouring every second. You don’t know when you’re going to see each other again, especially with what you just heard earlier. You have to relay this new information to Hoseok.

“Take care okay?” He says when you finally pull away, finger under your chin to make you look up at him. “Please call me if you need anything. I’ll try my best to come and see you whenever I can.”

“It’s alright Jungkook, you do what you need to do. Focus on work. I don’t want Suga to make things difficult for you. You’re already having a hard time as it is.” You place your hand on the side of his face.

“Still. I want to be there for you.” The look on his face is different. Almost sad. “I know it’s difficult to date someone like me. But I’m still committed to you, please remember that.”

“Of course,” you say, shaking your head, not understanding why he’s acting this way, “I understand. I don’t blame you for any of this. You’re only trying to keep me safe. I know you’re trying your best.”

Jungkook looks down. “I am…”

“Is this about last night? When I asked you those questions?” You ask, and he doesn’t respond so you assume it is. “I don’t want you to think about your past, only your future. You’ve made mistakes, yes, but I believe you when you say you want to be a better version of yourself. I’ll stand by you, okay? I’ll be with you all the way.”

Jungkook only nods, then finally looks at you. “I don’t know how I’ll live without you.”

“You don’t have to, I’m always here for you.” You hug him again.

“I love you so much.” Jungkook says softly into your neck. “You’re the only thing keeping me going.”

You look him in the eye, “Jungkook, I love you so much.”

His fist comes up, pinky showing. “Promise?”

You laugh, hooking your own against his. “I promise, you silly bunny.”

𝄖

The clubhouse; that’s what they call it. An underground club where most of the gang members hang out. Only the ones working the ground of course; runners, dealers. They’d never find any heads of the organisation down here. Which makes for a great place for them to let out their complaints to each other. Jungkook squeezes down the busy hallways, looking for the room Suga had called them to.

As he passes by others, he overhears some parts of their conversation. “If you ask me, we’re already screwed.”

“Yeah. You really think Kim’s gonna have our backs if any of us get caught?” They scoff and the others murmur among themselves. “He’d feed us to the wolves and probably run off with all the money. Live the high life in another country while we rot in prison.”

Jungkook sighs, not acting on the need to interrupt their conversation. Besides, what happens here stays here. There’s no need for him to defend Kim. In fact, he finds himself agreeing with what they said. He reaches the end of the hallway and knocks twice before entering.

Suga and Namjoon are already there, joined by Bella and a couple of other girls from the club. They leave as soon as he enters, as requested by Suga. “Where’d you go last night?”

“I already told you I wanted the night off.”

“That wasn’t the question.”

Jungkook sighs, glancing over to RM who is putting on a poker face. “I went to the safe house.”

“Oh. Okay.” He gestures for Jungkook to sit and he takes the seat next to Bella. “I’m guessing you already know by now.”

“About the merge? Yup.”

“Kim wanted the merge to go slowly, we should have transitioned into it for the next six months at least. But now that we might be under the police’s radar, he wants it to happen as soon as possible.” Suga explains. “Since a couple of our last shipments got caught, he’s being very careful now. And if we don’t officially tie ourselves with Mr. B, Kim thinks he might sell us out in hopes of saving himself. They’re in talks right now.”

“So what are we here for?” RM asks.

“Captain wants us to scan for any potential leaks here. Anyone who could end up snitching on us.”

“And then what? We snitch on them?” Jungkook scoffs. “They’d get the firing squad.”

“Better them than us.” Suga speaks through his teeth.

“Wow, is that what it’s come to now?” Jungkook chuckles. Bella places a hand on his thigh, subtly shaking her head for him to stop, but he doesn’t care. “Listen, everyone here is on edge because of the merge. If anything, merging with Barome is what put us on the radar in the first place and it’s going to be even worse if we get caught because now we’re tied to a trafficking ring. And you know what? Kim’s not going to save our ass if we get caught.”

“Will you calm down for a second?” Suga sits up straight and leans closer. “We just need to take note of who could be trouble and put them on a list. If anything happens, we know who to look for.”

“Or pin the blame on.”

“Dude,” RM signals for him to stop.

But Jungkook’s emotions are getting the better of him. “Can you confidently tell me that Kim is gonna come and bail you out of prison?”

“Look, no one is going to prison.” Bella interrupts. “We’re here to prevent that.”

Suga lets out a scoff, wondering why they’re even having this ridiculous debate. “Why are you even mad at me for?”

“I’m not mad at you.” Jungkook states, “I’m mad at this entire situation. It’s so fucking stupid that we have to worry about shit that’s not our fault to begin with.”

“You act like what we do is legal. Selling drugs would get you time too.”

“I know that. But now it’s much more serious. And things were fine before…” Jungkook stops himself before continuing, knowing he’s probably wasting his breath. Suga will never see it any other way.

“Enough of this.” RM speaks up before either of them start again. “Let’s just forget about whatever we came here to do and go back to the club. I’m sure we’d be more productive there.”

Suga is the first to get up, wiping his palms on the front of his pants. “For once, I agree with you. I’m going back to the club, you guys can do whatever you want I guess.”

Bella hesitates to leave, staying a little longer just to give Jungkook a hug. “Don’t worry too much, you’re starting to get wrinkles from all the frowning.”

Jungkook smiles weakly at her attempt to cheer him up. But it doesn’t distract him from the situation at hand. Eventually Bella goes off, leaving him alone with RM, who looks at him in exasperation.

“What?” Jungkook asks.

“Would it kill you not to blow up like that every time you meet her?”

“Meet who?”

RM laughs quietly to himself. “You’ve been fine the last few weeks, now suddenly you’re all worked up again. Coincidentally, the day after you spend time with Y/N.”

Jungkook grimaces, “What does this have to do with her?”

“Really?” He sighs. “You’re all angsty because you think things are gonna go downhill. And you don’t want to implicate her. Nor do you want to disappoint her. Or make her worry. Then you come here twice as upset as you normally are about this whole thing, yell at your partner and call it a night.”

For some reason, it makes sense to him. He does get worked up when it comes to you. It’s harder to control how he feels about this place when he’s got you on his mind.

“You can’t be around her. She’s like your kryptonite.” RM says.

“I...I didn’t realise.” Jungkook says, playing with his hands.

“I hate to say it but, Suga is kind of right about you and her.”

Jungkook groans, ready to walk out that door. “Don’t give me that. It’s not the same. He hates her.”

“I know. But, she is a distraction.” He gets up and heads for the door. “I didn’t defend you in front of Kyun for nothing. You can’t afford to act like this, especially not with what’s going on. Remember, we have a job to do.”

Jungkook goes after him, once again going through the hallways where others seem to have taken notice of their presence, eyeing them wearily. Unfazed by all the attention, RM smiles at everyone as he passes them. Jungkook on the other hand, tries not to lose his cool again.

Outside, RM turns to him before getting into his car. “Remember the end goal. If we do it right, everything will fall into place.”

Jungkook runs a hand through his hair. He doesn’t understand how no one else is as freaked out as he is. Even if he wasn’t affected by you, he’d still be worried.

“In the meantime,” RM adds while getting into the driver’s seat, “if you’re really worried, why don’t you get your safe house ready. Where is it anyway?”

He scoffs. “Nice try. Like I’d tell you that. Go get your own place.”

“I thought we were besties.” RM shrugs with a smile on his face, shutting the door before rolling down his window. “You’re gonna burn out if you keep stressing. Relax.”

Jungkook shoves his hands into his pockets, looking sullen as RM gets into the driver’s seat. “Easy for you to say.”

RM rolls the window down. “Alright. Go see her tonight. Then try not to for the next few months. We need you here bro, present and accounted for.”

Jungkook scoffs, wondering why he’s taking orders from Namjoon now of all people. His car speeds off while Jungkook sits on his bike, contemplating his next move. He could go to the club, get work done. Go to the gym and sweat it out.

He looks at his phone and the text you sent him.

[7:27 PM] you: oh no i left something behind [7:27 PM] you: do you have it?

[8:05 PM] jungkook: what?

[8:06 PM] you: my heart [8:06 PM] you: hehehe

𝄖

You decided against telling Hoseok what you heard at first. But as soon as you returned his call the next night, you could hear the excitement in his voice about finally getting some good news, at least he thinks it’s good news. Whatever he heard from Seokjin was probably related to the merging of the companies, like Namjoon said.

“I hope it’s good news,” Hoseok says on the other line, “but then, that means you need to figure out what you’re gonna do about Jungkook. Have you talked to him yet?”

“Yeah. He won’t run.” You sigh.

“Really? Even with you?”

“He doesn’t want me to leave behind all I’ve got.” You roll on your back. “Isn’t he sweet? He still thinks about me even when I’m trying to help him.”

A few seconds later Hoseok responds with a dull hum, to which you remember you’re talking to Hoseok and not someone who could appreciate you going on about Jungkook. “So I guess you’re not about to take Hongjun’s offer?” He sounds slightly relieved.

“Guess not.” You say. “And now I know Hongjun was lying about him. He hasn’t killed anyone.”

“That’s good.”

“It’s great!” You don’t mean to sound so excited. “I should have known from the start, he’s not that kind of person. I just needed reassurance.”

“Still doesn’t change the fact that he’s done many other horrible things.”

“I know that.” You almost lose your cool, but remind yourself that Hoseok’s just being real. “He really wants to change though.”

“Good for him,” Hoseok says, “You’re a really good influence on him. I hope he knows how lucky he is. He’s got you.”

You laugh dryly, feeling it get awkward as it always does when Hoseok starts to slip up. “He has you too. Your approach could have been better but...you meant well, I’m sure.”

“I guess.” He sighs. “Anyway, I’ll call you again when I get updates from Seokjin. Sorry for the call and texts yesterday night, I was too into it I forgot how late it was. You must have been asleep.”

“Oh no. I was⎼” You recall your phone ringing and the texts that follow after and what you were doing. His timing couldn’t have been more accurate.

“You were what? Out?”

It’s not like you can say he called right when you were about to suck your boyfriend’s dick. And even if you don’t explicitly say that, he’d be thinking it anyway. “I was with Jungkook actually.”

“Oh,” he clears his throat, “my bad. I’ll just text next time.”

You chuckle awkwardly. “Don’t worry about it. See you around, Hoseok.”

“See you. Goodnight.”

Your thumb presses on the end call button as fast as you can, before rolling over to scream into your pillow. Why do you always find ways to embarrass yourself? You could’ve just lied and said you were asleep, but no⎼

“What are you doing?”

You let out a shriek at Hana’s sudden appearance, not realising she had entered your room just as you were having a mini-meltdown. “I was just...nothing. What’s up?”

“Okay. Jungkook called me and asked if you were home.” She nods to your phone. “He’s been trying to reach you.”

“Oh shoot. Thanks.”

It must have been while you were on call with Hoseok. You call him back and he picks up within the first few rings, sounding relieved to hear your voice. “Hey, you were looking for me?”

“I’m on the way up right now.”

“On the way up? To my place?” You get up, inside jumping with excitement. “You’re here?”

“Yup,” he says with a cheerful tone to his speech, “exiting the elevator...walking to your door⎼”

It’s the last thing you hear before abandoning your phone on your bed, then running to the door with the biggest smile on your face. You open it just as Jungkook reaches, and you jump into his arms as you did the night before, planting kisses all over his face. “What are you doing here?” You ask, way too happily.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting to get this reaction.” Jungkook laughs, stepping into the apartment before setting you down. He waves to Hana, who peeks out of her room to check on all the commotion. She smiles when she sees him, then winks at you before retreating back inside.

You practically drag him into your room. “I thought it’d be at least a month before we’d see each other again.” You say, hugging him. “I was already missing you.”

Jungkook heaves out a sigh of relief. It feels like all his problems disappear when he’s with you. Like magic. “I missed you too. That’s why I came here. Is it okay if I stay the night?”

“Of course!”

𝄖

Kim waits for his new partner to settle in the adjacent seat. He’s prepared one of his most expensive bottles of wine for this meeting. The view in his high rise apartment matches no other. Barome stares out the window, smiles, then walks over to his seat.

“I’m sure you haven’t called me here for a friendly chat,” Barome says, “I assume you’ve heard about one of my men getting arrested.”

“Yes.” Kim says simply. Two guards stand guard behind him as does Barome’s behind him. “We should expedite this merge.”

Barome takes a sip of the drink before him. “Getting nervous are we, my old friend? Now, you know I’d never sell out that easily. If you’re worried that I would⎼”

“I’m simply making things easier for the both of us.” Kim states. “We both run a tight ship. But not everyone can be trusted.”

“And you think the merge will make a difference?” Barome asks, quirking a brow.

“We’d have more immediate resources available for both of us,” he points out, “and our men will think less of trying to betray the other. Sometimes…people can be loyal to a fault.”

“You’re worried about my men betraying you?”

“I’m worried about a lot of things.” Kim leans forward, interlacing his fingers together. “Like how both our shipments caught the eyes of the authorities. It’s no coincidence.”

“What are you saying? Surely you don’t think our own men are behind it.”

“It’s a possibility.” Kim shrugs and Barome exhales, watching him closely. “But if you ask me, it’s most likely because we’re being watched. Now our men might not have been behind all the recent arrests, but they could be in future. Like I said, not everyone can be trusted, especially those at the bottom. We need to get them to work together.”

Barome takes some time to think about it. “I see what you’re saying.” He nods.

“The authorities are on to us, they’re probably trying to get more information by targeting our shipments. Right now, whether or not it’s true, our men are already pointing fingers at each other. This is their play, they want our men to rat each other out. It could get worse if we don’t act now.”

“Okay.” Barome looks at Kim. “I agree. We’ll expedite the merge.”

Kim smiles for the first time that night. But Barome gets lost in thought, bringing the glass to his lips, then putting it back down without taking a sip.

“Do you think…we have a traitor amongst us?”

“You mean,” Kim eyes him, “you think there’s an agent lurking within our organisations?”

“It would certainly make sense, we haven’t made the merge that big of a deal until recently. And it would have taken months of planning to catch our shipments at the right time. Both shipments.” Barome says.

Kim nods, entertaining the thought. He knows not everyone can be trusted, but he also knows they take great measures to make sure they only have the best men on board. They’re careful with their recruitment, but maybe not careful enough. “You could be right. I’ll have my men on it. Can’t be too careful.”

“I get mine on it as well.” Barome slaps his hands together, excitedly picking up his glass once again and holding it out towards Kim. “Here’s to our partnership.”

“To our partnership.” Kim echoes his words.

“We’ll need to have a discussion about the logistics as soon as possible.” Barome says.

“I’ll have papers ready by tomorrow.” Kim chugs down his drink like it’s water.

“Perfect. I’ll come down with my men tomorrow, and we can sort it out.” Barome starts to get up, buttoning his suit jacket. “Now, thank you for the drink. I’ll get going and let you have the night to yourself.”

Kim gets up as well and goes over to give him a proper handshake and a half-hug. “I’m glad we see eye to eye. It’s going to be fun working together.”

“I’m counting on it.” Barome says and they share a laugh.

Kim’s men usher him out of the place after they bid the other goodnight. When the door closes, Kim takes off his jacket, finally about to turn in for the night. His right hand man and assistant, appears from one of the rooms and smiles, having overheard the entire conversation.

“Seems it went well, sir.” He says.

“It did.” Kim pauses before entering his room, then turns to him. “Be prepared, the next few months are going to be crazier than usual.”

𝄖

He changes into some clean clothes and joins you in bed. “It’s been too long since I’ve come over.”

“I know! That’s why I’m so excited!”

Jungkook pulls you in closer, resting his face on your tummy. Grabbing your hand, he places it on top of his head, and you know it means he wants you to softly play with his hair. “I was waiting downstairs for fifteen minutes. Your line was busy.”

You pause, then go back to giving his scalp gentle massage. You can’t tell him about Hoseok, not if you want to keep the peace tonight. He’s obviously come here to get his mind off something. “Yeah I was on a call.”

“Must have been a very important call. I tried calling so many times. Then gave up and called Hana.”

“I was talking to my dad.”

“Oh okay.” You don’t even feel bad for lying. It’s not like this is the worst thing you’ve lied to him about.

“So,” you decide to change the subject, “why are you here? I thought you had stuff to take care of.”

“Yeah well your good friend Namjoon allowed me to come see you tonight.”

You laugh, “You’re taking orders from him now?”

“Hell no.” He says defensively. “You know, he chided me earlier, going off on how emotional you make me and how I’m a nuisance because of it. Says he’ll hit me in the face if I don’t listen to him. So I think you should go yell at him for that.”

"What? Are you sure he said all that? Doesn’t sound like him…" He clicks his tongue to show his displeasure and you switch up, gasping. "I mean, how dare he say that to you! Don’t worry, I’ll handle him."

Jungkook grins thinking about how you’d chew Namjoon’s ear off. He rubs his head against you. “You’re so comfy.” He mumbles sleepily as you run your fingers through his hair.

“Did something happen again?”

Jungkook moves up the bed so he can crawl on top of you, and you make space for him between your legs as he comfortably buries his head next to yours, into your pillow. You let out a soft groan. It feels nice to have him in your arms like this, hand gently stroking his back.

“Nothing…kinda butt heads with Suga again.” He says into the pillow.

“Awh,” you rub the back of his head, “I’m sorry baby. He must be a real pain in the ass.”

Jungkook turns his head to face you. “Actually…this time it was just me. There’s so much going on I lost my cool.”

“Oh. Well he probably deserved it anyways. I mean look how he treats you, forcing you to quit college like that…”

He chuckles, “You really dislike him, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t if he wasn’t such an idiot.”

“He’s actually not so bad. Remember, the only reason I’m still alive is because he helped me all those years ago.” You turn to Jungkook, whose own words seem to have hurt him, the smile disappearing and replaced by a tender look.

You squeeze him in your hold. “Sorry, I know you care a lot for him. Sometimes the people closest to us are the ones that hurt us the most.”

“Yeah. I’m sure I hurt him just as much.” Jungkook gets lost in his thoughts, keeping quiet for a period of time. “He likes you though. Deep deep down inside.”

“What?” You scoff. “You should’ve seen his face when he cornered me at the mall. If looks could kill…”

“Trust me, he likes you. It’s only because…” Jungkook pauses, “Well, you’re different from us. And he wants to protect his world. Which in his ideal version, involves me.”

“And I’m the villain who steals you away from him?”

Jungkook laughs. “It sucks. I wish I didn’t have to choose between either of you. Because I love you both.”

“I’m sorry.” You kiss his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you have to choose.”

“Will you stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault?” He covers your mouth with his hand. You lick his palm and he removes it, wiping his hand on your shirt. “Seriously, stop saying sorry.”

“Okay sorry.” He gives you a look. “Oops. Sorry.”

Jungkook presses his lips to yours to shut you up, going in for more after every giggle. With your arms around his neck, he adores your face, tracing his finger over your skin. “You’re gonna be so mad at me,” he says, and you furrow your brows, “but I think he’s right. And so is Namjoon.”

You narrow your brows. “About what?”

Jungkook sighs, “I can’t control myself when it comes to you.”

“Understatement of the year.” You laugh and he rolls his eyes.

“I meant emotionally.” He says, looking at you only with adoration in his eyes. “I have this intense…need to protect you. And fear of losing you.”

Your hands slide down to his biceps, watching him as he thinks about what he’s going to say. “Jungkook…”

“Because of that, I get all angry and sensitive when I go back. ‘Cause I’d rather not be there. I’d rather be with you.” Jungkook rests his head on you. “I also get frustrated at myself, cause there’s nothing I can do to change things. Or make time go faster, to when I can finally be free. Especially now with all the changes. So I take it out on Suga. Namjoon noticed this too. But don’t blame yourself…this is just something I have to work on.”

When it’s too quiet on your end, Jungkook lifts his head to read your expression. “Are things really that bad right now? I’m scared for you.”

“If I’m being honest, I’m scared too.”

“What if…I mean…the police…what if they were…” You avoid his eyes, trying to think of what to say without giving away the investigation. “I don’t know…”

He lets out a little laugh, pinching the tip of your nose. “What’s the matter?”

His expression drops when you go quiet again. So you shake your head and manage a weak smile. “Do you think…things will get better? That one day you can be free for real?”

“I promised you everything will be okay, didn’t I?” You nod. “Things will get better. I just have to be patient.”

“How are you optimistic and pessimistic at the same time?” You grab his face and kiss his nose, giggling. “One moment you’re talking about losing me, the next you say everything will turn out okay. You’re so silly.”

“I didn’t think of it that way.” He laughs along with you, shaking his head. “Maybe it’s you.”

“Me again? What did I do?”

“You make me scared, but happy…worried but hopeful.” He smiles. “Just something about you. Drives me insane.”

Your heart rate betrays you as you try and keep a cool front, but with his body pressed to yours, he can feel the way your heart speeds up. You reach for your bedside table and grab something on top of it, holding it out to him. Getting him to open his palm out, you drop a ring on it. “I want you to hold on to this.”

“Are you…proposing to me?” Jungkook sits up to his knees. “Oh my god.”

“Will you stop with the dramatics?” You use your foot to kick him playfully and he laughs before plopping right next to you, holding up the ring. It’s nothing new, one you’ve had for a long time. You came across it at a flea market, at a booth where a lady was selling trinkets. You’d wanted to get something so badly, but had no money with you. So she let you choose something small to have for free. “That’s my lucky ring. It’ll keep you safe. When the day comes where everything is okay, just like you say it will be, you can return it to me.”

Jungkook smiles fondly, carefully looking at the patterns around the ring, admiring the faded colour of royal green sloshed with dark blue. “It’s cute.”

“It’s nothing fancy. Just something of mine to have with you.”

In exchange, Jungkook removes one of the rings he has on his hands, and passes it to you. “Now you have something of mine.”

“I already have this necklace you gave me,” you touch the piece around your neck, the one he’d given to you for your first christmas gift as his girlfriend.

Jungkook shakes his head, not accepting no for an answer. “That’s different. This is a promise.”

“That you’ll be okay?”

Though you were only joking, your heart does a little skip as you say that. “On the day that I can finally be with you without worrying about anything else, we’ll return the rings to each other.”

He kisses you gently, and places both rings on the side table before getting off the bed to turn the lights off. Leaving only the soft glow of the nightlight. Crawling back into bed, he snuggles up to you, pressing his face to the side of yours.

“Baby,” you whisper, “it’s only ten.”

“So?”

“It’s way too early.” You pat his head.

“But I want to cuddle.”

“I don't wanna go to sleep."

“Okay," he mumbles, not letting go of you. His arm over your waist pulls you in close. “Let’s decide on baby names.”

You groan, pulling up the covers and closing your eyes. “On second thought, goodnight.”

He laughs, tickling your sides and you squirm. “Fine. Let’s watch a movie while we cuddle.”

You agree, getting your laptop from the table and choosing something on Netflix. Jungkook waits for you to be done so he can have you in his arms again. Resting your body against his while the movie plays, Jungkook barely pays attention to the show.

He focuses on how nice you smell, the softness of your skin, and the little vibrations when you giggle about something on screen. Everything about you, he finds endearing. Even the way you doze off an hour into the movie, despite saying you didn’t want to sleep.

He puts the laptop away and tucks you in, pulling up the covers. You instinctively roll over to hug him in your sleep, pressing yourself close to his chest, arm hooking under his. Jungkook can only smile, resisting the urge to squeeze you tight and shower you with kisses. Instead he lands a gentle kiss to your cheek and closes his eyes, cherishing the this lovely moment he has with you, not knowing when he might get the chance to again.

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#jungkook fics #jungkook x you #kwritersworldnet #jungkook smut #jungkook scenarios #rainworks #my fic

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