#Fair to my past self because the informational sections are the least cared about

[raifuujin]

It’s done!

The directory of all the various DC related books (that I own) has been completed!

Not all of the scans are mine, when other people have shared for the main series and spinoffs over the years, but a very solid chunk are my scans of all the ‘unimportant’ material. (If other people had good scans, I opted to save my own time, even if I could scan my own copies, basically.) And now it’s all fairly organized in one easy access list!

Includes: Conan, Kaito, Yaiba, the novels, movie manga, educational manga, activity books, tokubestuhen, archives, game guides, etc.

Now that it’s caught up, I’ll try to keep it up to date when I get more books in the future.

[chubbology]

Inertia

prompt: a man gains weight trying to get his ex-girlfriend back, but goes way too far and gets addicted to gaining

He hadn’t gone to the gym even once in ages.

After a year of singlehood, he wasn’t ashamed to admit anymore that he’d only really gone in the first place to impress women. Ironic, of course, since his ex had never been more than vaguely dissatisfied about his gym habit.

When they first started dating, he had love handles he hated and his thighs had been too thick. He assumed she dated him despite these flaws. Only after he lost weight to please her did he find out that it was his chub that caught her eye. It was bigger guys she was into. It was a lot of miscommunication. A lot of insecurity on his part, since what her preferences meant was that she wanted him to be a little heavy, and he couldn’t possibly accept that with his society-ingrained doctrines about attractiveness.

But those doctrines meant fuck-all now; he was eating a double cheeseburger in his car, helping it down with an orange soda, thinking about dessert. He was wondering if she’d be proud of him now that he’d gained thirty pounds. He wondered if she’d look at him with half-lidded eyes like she used to, if he put on another thirty. Fifty. Whatever.

His phone buzzes. He sits up straighter, belly swelling a little into his lap. It’s her.

Hey. My friend needs to sell her two tickets. I know it’s your favorite band. Interested?

The next text was a link to an information page about an upcoming concert. He’d been so disconnected lately, he hadn’t even heard about it.

Even though he wasn’t actually all that interested, he replied that he was, and they set a date to meet up the next week. Shit. He looked down at himself. If she were someone else, she might be repelled. But she wasn’t someone else…

He was hit with a brilliant, maybe brilliantly stupid, idea. It’s execution began with going right back through the drive thru.

In the days leading up to seeing his ex again, he ate almost constantly. Since he was only doing freelance online at the moment, his work didn’t get in the way of this. He let himself eat whatever he wanted, in amounts three times what his body craved. He pushed himself to a state of being constantly past full. She liked fat guys? Fine. Even if she still didn’t want anything to do with him, he wanted her to see what he could have been, if he hadn’t been such a gym-rat douchebag. If he’d let himself become a lazy, docile boyfriend like she wanted instead, weak and overweight.

It was hard, gaining a lot of weight in a week. The number on the scale didn’t go up as much as he expected, even though he’d eaten enough calories to gain twenty pounds at least. He compensated by showing up to their meeting spot wearing clothes that tightly hugged his body, which now had a good forty-ish pounds of fat clinging to it. Looking in the mirror before he left, he’d almost seen what she was into. His ass had gotten kind of wide and dumpy, but in a sexy way?

He was all nerves when she showed up looking healthy and cute and indifferent about him, holding the tickets in her hands. Almost indifferent. She definitely gave him a once-over, when she thought he wasn’t looking. He could tell she bit the inside of her lip.

“Well,” she said, meeting his eyes fearlessly. Were her cheeks a little red, or was that wishful thinking? “I’ll see you.”

“Really?” he blurted. “Kinda miss hanging out.”

She smiled and turned to leave. “Maybe.”

He went home and binged hard.

*

In contrast to how he grew too slowly in the week before meeting up with her, in the weeks afterward, he gained weight doubletime. Fat rounded him out as easy as if he were a swiftly filling water balloon, engorging his thighs and belly and ass and hips wide and heavy. He ate compulsively as his appetite skyrocketed, as cravings crushed his will to restrain himself. His budget was thrown out of whack as he spent his savings on pantry loads of unhealthy food. His clothes stretched and seams snapped as he struggled to fit in his largest clothes. He shopped in the plus sized section first for comfort, then by necessity.

All the while he could only think: I wished she was watching.

He started imagining her with him. In the car as he ate fast food. At the store as he bought new clothes. Walking beside him as he forced himself to get exercise.

“Slow down, big guy.” “No, I think you need one size bigger.” “Sweating already? You’re so out of shape.”

Why did he like it? Imagining her mocking him? Teasing him? Eyeing his body, fleshy and overfed.

The next time she texted, it was late at night, and his eyes were glazed watching television, eating huge spoonfuls of that miracle drug called Nutella. His belly swelled out of his shirt. His breasts and face were puffy. According to the numbers he punched into Google, he had long crossed the threshold of obesity.

How was the concert?

He stared at the words. This was it. Maybe his only chance. He replied: Didn’t go after all. Been feeling off lately.

To his (very manly) delight, this prompted more questions, and it became clear she wanted a real conversation. Was she thinking of him? Missing him like he missed her? He thought out every response with the careful focus of a rocket scientist. He wasn’t going to mess this up.

He didn’t seem to, and they texted into the early hours of the morning, catching up. Finally, finally she asked to meet up with him again, and - feeling more eager, a little reckless - he tapped out a disclaimer. Or to her, hopefully: motivation.

Just so you aren’t shocked when you see me, I’ve put on weight since I bought those tickets from you. I’m not sensitive about it or anything, but it’s a lot. So here’s a fair warning.

He held his breath as he waited for her reply. Held his breath. Held it…

Oh. Really?

Like before, they set a time the following week. This time, to get coffee. No big deal.

He knew he had more than fulfilled his little scheme of putting on weight to catch her attention, and he could push the breaks now, but he felt helpless against his inertia. At this point, he’d cultivated half a dozen habits that had his weight steadily rising, and he couldn’t just turn them off. If he so much as thought of eating less, his whole body seized up in fearful anticipation and unhappiness, and he found himself cramming a couple moonpies into his mouth just to calm down.

He gained another six pounds between their text conversation and their coffee date. He felt so out of control, so out of shape, so out of line with the standards of popular society that he felt oddly…free. In a way, he felt free of anxious self-consciousness as he heaved himself out of his car and waved at her through the coffee shop window. She was sitting in a corner at a table for two. Despite his warning, she looked a little shocked.

When he sat down across from her, his huge ass hanging off the ends of the seat, she appeared to inhale deeply. Her expression was inscrutable.

“You weren’t kidding,” she said.

Blushing, he supposed he deserved a bit of tactlessness, for the tactless way he broke up with her. “What? Oh. Yeah, no. I wasn’t.”

She sipped her coffee, eyes flicking between his flabby chest and his flabby face. In a low tone that no one else would hear, she said, “What happened? For you to get fat as fuck.”

He opened his mouth and closed it. This wasn’t how he was expecting this to go. “Well. I’ve been working from home, stressed out. I let myself go and…” He trailed off when he realized her eyes were cold. No - so hot they seemed cold, like his shower water when turned to the highest setting.

“Is this because of me?” she asked, cutting to the chase. She crossed her legs, now openly surveying him. “Did you decide it was okay to gain a hundred pounds because you thought I’d be into it?”

He was speechless. He swallowed.

“Well? Do you want me back that badly? Ever since I saw you last time, all chubbed out, I’ve been thinking maybe I should give you a second chance.”

“Um.”

“But I don’t know…” She shrugged, but a smirk was hiding just behind that indifferent frown, and he wanted. He wanted her forgiveness, whatever that meant. “How about you gain a hundred more and we’ll go on a real date? Sound good? You’re not the only fat guy out there.”

She was full-on grinning now, and he missed her little games like this. He could play them, too.

“Maybe, but I bet I’m the only guy who’s gotten this fat for you,” he said. She was immediately affected by this, and he licked his lips. “You really want to wait to see me a hundred pounds bigger than this, or do you want to stick around to watch?”

Even quieter, she said, “You saying you like gaining weight? How convenient.”

So she still doubted him. He put out his hands for her to see. “Just look. Look at how fat my hands are. I can’t…” And finally his composure cracked a little. “I can’t stop. I couldn’t stop if I wanted. Even if you never talk to me again, I’m gonna gain weight.”

Any playfulness was gone now from her. She looked like she wanted him, too. “Hmm. Maybe we should go before you break that poor chair, huh?”

He blushed again. God, he was getting docile. “I’m not that bad,” he muttered. But she gave him a cruel grin. She hadn’t entirely forgiven him. “You will be.”

And he knew then: he was doomed. He was already a little bit into his own heaviness, and she was going to take that feeling and amplify it tenfold. She was going to enable every bad habit he had, watch him flounder under his increasing size and become weaker under layers and layers of fat until he could barely lift a two pound dumbbell.

He knew she wanted this to happen, and maybe he’d broken up with her before because he’d been afraid.

But he wasn’t anymore.

“Let’s go then,” he said.

*

Thank you to the reader who commissioned this work!

I'd love to write more. Check me out <3 etsy.com/shop/Chubbology

[ayellowcurtain]

This is one of the best reads ever !!! Will there be a part two please? Make them meet please

Part 1

Robbe’s laughter comes easy and uninvited, shaking his head to try and stop it, running his fingers quickly through the front of his hair, too self conscious to act normally. He feels exposed even though just one person could know why he’s feeling all weird. It feels like everyone knows he was exchanging secret notes with a stranger, such a childish thing.

They’ve seen each other a few times since Robbe found out who Sander is but they both always pretended they didn’t know each other. They would walk past each other and barely acknowledge it. Robbe should have asked why in their notes but he never had the courage. He’s so afraid of the answer to this day, of how attached he got to this daydream. Of falling in love with an almost stranger, through romantic notes left inside books, of having someone like Sander liking him back. Robbe doesn’t know how that feels and he’s not ready to let go of that daydream.

He doesn’t want to ruin it so he pretends they are strangers too.

Thankfully Jens had some of his good weed today. And school is basically empty for the rest of the day. So Robbe is feeling lightweight, and braver than any other day.

His steps echo inside the quiet library and Robbe holds the door not to slam behind him. They only have a few more days of classes before their holidays so it’s his only chance. And if it all goes wrong, he can pretend he didn’t do any move and he can avoid Sander at least for a few weeks.

Robbe is early for his usual time, and while looking around he can’t find Sander right away sitting on the same old spot, almost under the stairs, not sharing his table with anyone, making sure to put his bag on the chair next to him and his books in front of him on the desk to create his private fort.

His heart starts beating even faster, this time not because of the weed but because he’s confident he knows where Sander is and if he really wants, he can just go there and finally introduce himself in person.

Robbe left his last note strategically in the back on the second floor, the book closer to the window than to the main hallway.

When he’s high he feels less nervous, a tiny bit more confident and chill so he walks to Sander’s usual desk where his things are abandoned and leaves his bag on top of Sander’s on the chair, taking a deep breath before going upstairs, gently touching the handrail in case he missteps somewhere.

He keeps looking up and around, hoping to not get caught on his way to the trap he made for this. Every aisle is empty so Robbe starts walking slower when there’s only two more aisles to check. Looking in between the shelves he can already see the sun shining down on a head full of recently cut and never combed light-brown hair, the undercut almost disappearing around his ear. When there’s only one aisle in between them, Sander lifts his head and their eyes meet right away. Robbe keeps his pace to give Sander an extra second to realize this was Robbe’s plan all along.

He leans against the edge of the tall bookcase, looking down for a second, losing the little confidence he had built on his walk around the school to here.

“Finally…”

Sander looks anywhere but at him at first, putting the book Robbe had chosen to put his last note inside back on the shelf, still holding the little piece of paper where Robbe had written I want to meet you yesterday.

“Hi…!” Sander laughs it out, putting the note inside his pocket.

“I’m Robbe.” He offers his hand to Sander, stepping closer, and Sander does the same, shaking his hand.

“I know…Sander.”

“I know.” Robbe laughs, finally letting go of his hand. Robbe isn’t sure he should trust his high brain to register details but Robbe is almost sure Sander has some bumps on the palm of his hand, the skin a little rougher at the base of his fingers. Robbe wonders if that’s from all the drawings Sander makes. He said that’s all he does in his free time.

“So…” Sander looks around, “this was your plan all along?”

Robbe nods his head, thinking about fixing his hair again but not doing it so he doesn’t seem too flirty or easy.

“You could have warned me.” Sander tilts his head and Robbe feels guilty for trapping him but just for half a second.

“No, or you would be ready and I would be too nervous. I felt like this is more of a fair approach.”

“So you feel more comfortable if you’re chill and I’m nervous?”

“That’s the thing.” Robbe opens and closes his arms. “Your most nervous self is probably my least nervous self. So it’s unfair because we’ll never be on the same level.” Robbe takes a long inhale and empties his lungs slowly, biting the inside of his lip, looking straight at Sander. “Do I make you nervous?”

Sander readjusts his posture, moving his arms to fix his jacket around his neck. “Hm, yes. Yes. You do.”

He looks right back at Robbe after saying it and Robbe smiles at him, taking his time to digest that information. He makes someone nervous. He makes Sander nervous. The cool, cold guy that went out of his way to leave notes behind for Robbe to read. Robbe makes him nervous.

“Are you busy now?”

Sander presses his lips together, confused, shaking his head, “No, I’m not busy. Why?”

Robbe tilts his head, closing his eyes a little bit. “I promised Jens I wouldn’t go home alone because...hm, you know, we were smoking.”

“I can tell.” Sander snorts, lifting his eyebrows.

“You can?”

“Yeah…” Sander points up at Robbe’s eyes.

“Your eyes. They’re small and a little red. I mean, smaller than what they normally are.”

“My eyes are small?” Robbe frowns, opening his eyes as wide as he can when he’s feeling this high and his eyes are heavy.

“Yes, I don’t know if they’re small really but they are soft so they seem small and innocent.”

Sander smiles softly and that’s a new one. Robbe has never seen him look this endearing and open. He’s always this king of iceland, too cool to meet Robbe’s curious eyes when they walk past each other down the hall.

“Wow.” Robbe blinks slowly, in shock he paid that much attention. “That’s a lot for a pair of eyes to be.”

“Maybe, just maybe, I pay too much attention.”

“I don’t mind.” Robbe smiles, carefully taking a tiny step closer.

“You don’t mind what?” Sander teases.

“You. Paying too much attention to me.”

“I don’t mean to, it just happens.” Sander shrugs, taking a tiny step closer too but there’s still a comfortable distance between them. Two hole book sections separating them.

“I always thought you barely cared about me.” Robbe decides to admit, not sure if he’ll ever be this brave again to tell Sander about how he barely gave Robbe any attention and how badly he craves it.

“What? Really?”

Robbe nods his head, unable to look elsewhere when Sander licks his lips.

“You know who I am for a long time now. And you never did anything about it.”

“I was intimidated.” Sander smiles with his own confession.

“Really? By me? I never thought anyone would consider me intimidating.”

“You are. With the soft eyes, the innocent persona that seems unable to do any harm to anyone. That’s intimidating. Someone so good.” Sander explains so bluntly and Robbe still can’t believe Sander avoided meeting him in person because he thought Robbe was too good.

“Thank you...I think.” Robbe closes his eyes to see if it’ll fix how red they are, “So can you walk me home?”

He tries to look like Sander sees him: soft and innocent to make sure Sander won’t have the courage to decline his invitation.

“Yes, of course…”

[hakasims]

Shitty Luca Movie Recap, Episode 4

Can’t Watch Nina, Even For Luca?

Don’t Worry, Me Neither. Goodbye.

.

..

...

Ok, fine, I’ll talk about the damn thing.

So it’s a warm September night, and I’m in the mood for a Luca Marinelli feature. In my infinite wisdom I choose Nina. “It’s directed by a woman,” I reason, “and women know what’s up.” ‘What’s up’ in this particular case is code for ‘how to frame beautiful men for the female gaze’. Because women can be auteurs, too, and being an auteur means making movies about your own personal wank material.

Turns out, sometimes a woman’s wank material consists less of a gorgeous male form and more of fascist architecture. We’ll discuss the former in due time, but for now, what’s Nina even about? Well, at its core it’s a simple story about a young woman who doesn’t know what she wants, set against the backdrop of the Rome that is almost entirely empty due to most people leaving for the summer. This could have been a fairly straightforward coming-of-age film, but Nina is too indie and up its own ass for that. Literally nothing of note happens in this movie, and it’s all long static wide shots of empty streets, endless stairs, and domineering largeness of Rome’s most famous fascist buildings such as the Palace of Italian Civilization, the Sapienza University of Rome, Palazzo dei Congressi, and, most prominently, the Fountains Hall. (Google what they look like if you don’t know.) Now, I’m guessing those locations weren’t chosen by accident. They could have easily added to the creepiness of the movie — and I’m assuming creepiness was intended; otherwise how do you explain these hoverboarding nuns?

Anyway, the employment of the locations could have been atmospheric and thematic had the shots not been so bland. But they are. Bland, flat, and always looking the same no matter what is happening in the scene. Usually audiences are willing to sit through slow uneventful movies because of interesting visuals or characters worthy of attention, but Nina has neither. The titular character herself is tedious. Even her bad fashion sense is bad in a boring way that doesn’t tell you anything about her. Is she stuck in perpetual adolescence? Is she searching to get in touch with her sensuality? Who knows. The only thing I’m certain of is that she needs to learn to tuck her tops into her bottoms.

Nina spends her days giving singing lessons, going to Chinese calligraphy classes, eating cake, exercising and taking midnight walks in the empty city. She wants to go to China in September — it’s the closest thing to a goal she has — yet she’s done no preparations, and instead of learning Mandarin she’s studying calligraphy. And she’s real bad at it, too.

There are reoccurring visual elements in the movie besides the vast emptiness: stairs, white columns, a jogger, a red dress, animals… You’d think those were very straightforward symbols, but they’re used too sporadically and inconsistently to hold any meaning. For example, animals. Nina is tasked with both helping out in a pet store and house-sitting an apartment with a German shepherd (a good boy named Homer), a guinea pig and a tank full of fish. The instructions she’s given are absurd, like feeding the dog sleeping pills and putting the guinea pig on a diet. And then there’s a supposedly American TV show always playing in and out of diegesis about dogs living in cages and swimming happily in pools, and it looks and sounds like a video off the political section on the dog version of YouTube. It contains timeless classics like “You are a dog born in the age of consumerism” and “Depression is an evil illness now spreading amongst dogs of every breed, dogs belonging to every social class.” The butter commercial from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend could never. And I wish the whole movie was as surreal as this TV program but unfortunately it’s as bland and directionless as Nina herself.

And boy is it directionless. There aren’t any subplots in the movie, no cause and effect, no acts, no structure, no flow; only scenes that happen, and I can’t even find any reasons for the order in which they happen. The scenes also don’t start or end; they just interrupt each other, not leaving any emotional impact. For example, there’s a scene where Nina sees her future self. She’s on one of those midnight walks with the good boy Homer when she sees a couple being romantic. The woman is wearing a long red dress, and the man is in all black. The shot is wide, so it’s impossible to see their faces, but the woman is obviously Nina:

And the man is definitely Luca. I recognized his ass. I’m not joking, guys. It’s his ass:

Also I was later directed to the website of the photographer who took the set photos, and yes, it’s Nina and Luca.

I never forget an ass.

Anyway, Nina, who at this point hasn’t properly met Luca’s character, Fabrizio, sees herself from the future acting romantic with him, and doesn’t react. We don’t even know if she recognizes herself or him or whether it’s even a real scene or a dream. How are we supposed to empathize with a heroine who isn’t allowed to react to her environment?

Whatever, it’s time to talk about Fabrizio. He plays the cello and he’s obnoxious. That’s it. He first appears as a patron of Caffé Palombini, the real-world café Nina frequents (and buys her cakes at). She’s drinking her usual milk shake and reading. At some point, their eyes meet, but neither says anything, and then Nina gets up and runs after the good boy Homer who decided to take a little stroll by himself. She leaves all her things behind: her milk shake, her handbag, at least three books, a whole stack of paper for calligraphy, and her diary. It’s obvious she’s going to come back as soon as she gets the dog. And yet before her feet are even out of frame, Fabrizio gets up, goes to her table and fucking steals her diary!

His next several appearances are random and sporadic, and it looks like he’s stalking Nina, but by the time of his first actual scene she is following him for some reason. Obviously, he can’t let a woman outcreep him, so he ambushes her:

He tells her blankly, “You’re following me,” but I think this scene deserves better dialogue. Thankfully, we have a whole well of predator/maiden media to pull from.

Though I personally believe this is the most appropriate line:

Fabrizio lets Nina know he has her diary in the dickiest way possible: he quotes from it to let her know that he’s read it. He then informs her that he’ll only give it back to her if she continues following him. And it’s not blackmail; “it’s an agreement.” What an asshole! I’m weeping for the dignified cuckoldry of Joseph.

And what was the purpose of that “agreement” plot point if the next time they meet is by chance? Quirky love interest writing, duh. So quirky that the accidental meeting happens when Nina is walking past a phone booth where Fabrizio is… doing a phone prank? I don’t know, I got nothing. Anyway, he’s annoyed their meeting is unintentional on Nina’s part, but he returns her diary, and I guess they start dating? He watches her sing once with what could only be described as a complete absence of emotions:

In the next scene she watches him play the cello after which they go on a date. Nina is wearing the red dress from the vision, but Fabrizio’s shirt is different. I fucking give up.

Their next (second?) date is a romantic dinner on Nina’s roof, and they’re dancing for entirely too long. She then tells him she’s scared of how much she’s enjoying his company, gives him a ridiculously chaste kiss goodnight and… completely ghosts him afterwards. And if you didn’t dislike Fabrizio before, you will now as he starts calling Nina at ungodly hours (including 5:30 am) and leaving her very whiny and increasingly more passive-aggressive, entitled, and accusatory voicemails. At some point he even leaves a voicemail for the fucking dog! He’s like, “Homer, I’m worried, meet me at the café.” Again, quirky love interest writing: extortion, phone pranks and a voicemail for a dog.

Fabrizio then lets Nina know he’ll be leaving town in three days in case she’d like to see him one last time or whatever. And she never fucking does! In any other movie she’d be chasing through the airport, but here she just drops him like he’s a well-tucked shirt! She tells the kid she’s befriended (she hangs out with an eleven-year-old boy the whole movie, don’t worry about it) that she’s afraid to be “like everyone else”, with a job and a boyfriend, so she doesn’t even say goodbye to Fabrizio. At some point she goes for a walk with the good boy Homer, and Fabrizio is also there, and they just miss each other. Even fate isn’t interested in that romance.

And then all the fascist buildings get covered in gigantic paper figurines, and the red-dressed Nina runs into Fabrizio’s arms. Because of course.

Nina is one of those movies where the main theme — a struggle to grow up — is obvious, but the rest of the elements are a mess only the writer-director could decipher. And I don’t really care. Again, I had to read Japanese postmodernists at university. What I do care about is the male form I mentioned at the start. I know I have no one but myself to blame for my expectations of how the director should have framed Luca’s body or face, but it’s one thing to frame him blandly and a completely different thing to isolate him as the only character (or actor) she’s deeply uninterested in filming competently. Everyone else in the movie gets their fair share of close-ups and decent lighting whilst Luca — whose name is literally second in the credits — gets, um, neglected.

This is his introduction:

These are literally all his close-ups:

Should I even count this last one? What’s with the lighting? Like, this is as well-lit as his face gets:

Oh, the shot is too wide and you can’t see his face properly? Well, tough poop:

Are you kidding me with this shit?

Nina may not be objectively the most terrible of the movies Luca’s been in: I’d argue both Mary of Nazareth and L’ultimo terrestre are worse, as is Slam, whose time’s a-coming. Nor is it the movie where Luca appears the least (The Great Beauty’s literal one minute of screen time is saying hi). But it’s the only movie I have no reasons to watch: it’s blandly shot, poorly structured, badly themed — and it’s actively obstructing Luca’s beauty and charisma. So no matter which film you’ll ask me to do next, at least in terms of the visual component of my posts, we have nowhere to go but up.

[veridium]

Commission: “Not A Word”

One of my lovely commissions, and if my memory serves me right my first Solas x Lavellan commission, @noire-pandora asked me to write for him and her delightful Elluin Lavellan. Thank you for introducing me to her!

I am pleased to share the final piece, “Not A Word,” with you all tonight. 

--

“If it is quiet you wanted, why did you have me come with you?”

She provoked him with her question after the third time his brow creased at the sound of her boot beginning to tap on the stone floor. These old libraries had many perks to them -- including fair acoustics. 

“Not in the least,” Solas replied. Standing in the left-hand side of the rounded, aged shelves. One book opened in his dominant hand, the other bent at the back of his waist. Well, until the third disruptive sound. He turned to the side. “I am used to such habits and their echo, or else my placement on the ground floor of the library below Lord Dorian and Sister Leliana would seem rather fruitless, yes?”

Elluin had blanketed herself across the chair paired with a wide and ornamentally designed table. Such a relic seemed rather fragile and yet it endured while most everything around it decayed. Protected and secure, a description she could not apply to the far they found this place so many months ago. By Solas’s demeanor, however, she could swear he was one of the artifacts found with them, and at the very least, dubious to having his age-old routine tampered with. 

She switched which leg crossed over the other and smirked. The book she had chosen rested against her curled lap, contoured to its place as she was to hers. 

“For some reason, I do not quite believe you.” She almost breathed it in a sigh whilst turning the page. A volume on Nevarran history, inspired by curiosity for a culture Seeker Cassandra was wary to share anything other than rancor.

“What stakes are there, Inquisitor, in identifying dishonesty?” 

Her coyness was just as brief as her peek upward. Her glasses had slid down the ridge of her nose. Half of him was life-size and the other was magnified twice that, and she bit her lip to stifle a laugh. “I am a simple woman, I prefer my knowledge free of distortion.”

“Distortion.” He repeated it back as if a clever endearment. He reversed his turn from her in favor of facing her head, his book hand falling away from his view of it. Then, by virtue of curiosity, their eyes locked on one another.

“Yes. Distortion: the act of distorting something, or being in a state of being distorted.”

“You are quite correct, in the most literal and erudite sense.”

“I know.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “That is the knowledge of a definition, but is it the experience of your own self?”

She slid herself up against the chair, shoulders rolling as her elbows hooked behind her for leverage. She slid her glasses back to their proper position. He was always sneaking these needles, so much so they had begun to change what her idea of “troubling” really was. Rather strange, for someone who could take little grief from recruits or bureaucracy from diplomats. Talking with him was not like an argument or an insubordination so much as a book in and of itself: a course that began with a curiosity that unfolded its true extent the more she turned pages, ended and began chapters, and reached the back cover. There only was one difference: with Solas there never seemed to have an ending to the narrative that satisfied.

How fitting, for a woman -- for an Inquisitor -- who never rested on reaching one very long before going elsewhere. 

Her book snapped shut. “Why would you wish to know?”

“Is it egregious to encourage the matter that brims at the surface?”

“No more criminal than disturbing one’s quiet reading, I imagine.” Her words were vitriolic but framed by a soft smile. One that was met by his own, conservative grin. She would see this match through. 

“I can imagine for someone who has traveled most of his life alone, having someone nearby is off-putting.”

Solas approached the table and set the book down, open and beholden. She could almost read from it, herself, if she was well-versed in upside-down texts. She leaned forward just enough to where he even noticed, and slid the book forward just a few inches. 

“Though I have been alone in my travels I would not say it has made me hostile or apprehensive to company. As we have discussed before, I was rarely ever alone where I wandered, my companions were simply of a different kind than I have found here.”

“Yes, and we talked at length about those companions.”

“We have.”

“So then, what remains to be seen is what the “sort” you have found here, is.”

He took a half-step back from the table, his arms joined at his back in confidence. “You are enamored with my perceptions of the Inquisition and those in service of it. I see no reason as to why it would be a mystery to you now, especially since it appears your true intention is to get a rise out of me as I appear to elicit from you.” 

“It is just that you strike me as the sort of person who is gratified from provocation.”

“My capability of conversation does not mean I do not have preferences for it.”

“Preferences?”

“Do you enjoy being needled and demanded-upon by people at all hours of the day, for all causes both on the forefront of your mind as well as those you could care little for, Inquisitor?”

Her legs slid off of the armrest, the balls of her feet landing on the floor. Her hands gripped the edge of her seat but did not tense. Rather, the lean of her locked elbows and slightly-bunched shoulders signaled increased fervor. 

“Not in the least,” she answered.

He remained still for a moment longer than her reply required. He must have expected a quip as lengthy and exacting as his was -- or as much as she was known to give when pressed. 

“One could ask, then, why you see fit to impose the expectation onto others.”

“Onto others?”

“...Onto me,” he refined. 

“Maybe there is no expectation at all, Solas.”

“How do you mean?”

“You have said it yourself in the past that it is strange for you to think others would simply wish to talk to you in order to just get to know you better -- to have some kind of friendly understanding, rather than an exchange of information. Maybe that is what is afoot, now, in my ‘choice’ to bother you, and not anything more. Maybe it is...it is because...”

There was more frustration in her tone than she would have liked. The slight spark of light in his eyes further damned her for it. It was then she realized without a doubt the indictment he had for her was also the lure intended for her. Maybe she knew all along, and that was the pit in her stomach orbited by the butterflies. A wonderful concealment, but ultimately lacking in opacity. 

“I have had enough,” she concluded as she stood. The book remained in her death-grip, for it was coming with her. She did, however, remove her glasses from her face. Folding them quick but carefully in her hand she took one last look -- one attempted last look -- as her boot heel ground into the floor. 

Solas concurring was not fully convincing. Rather, it was drenched in astute formality as it most always was. “Perhaps you are, and these are not best practices for our respective needs of study.”

“I will be finding another place to continue mine, then.”

“Very well, Inquisitor. I hope you find a place that is most compatible.”

“I will.”

“I am...sure of it.”

She spun toward the hall where the doors and stairs would take her back up. In the speed of her heart and thoughts she couldn’t care, either. She walked until she was concealed in the dimness of the corridor and the corner they shared looks like an island of light left in her wake. 

But when she was far enough away to believe he couldn’t see her turn to look, she did exactly that. When she did, she saw him as anything but victorious. He does not carry on or act like he is relieved. Instead he is pensive, head hung slightly over the book before him. It isn’t focused or exact. It’s contemplative of anything but the literature. He even went so far as to press a hand to his face. It almost makes her smile, first out of triumph, and then out of flattery. But flattery is too shallow of a word for the way she truly feels. 

A minute went by of his solemnity before he looked up from the table. Elluin returned out of the dark, book held against her waist. For a moment she feared he would have something to say, something vindictive, or callous even. But he said and did nothing of the sort. She resettled back to her chair, sliding in in almost the same shape she was in before. She avoided eye contact with him while she did so, crossing her legs and finding the right page. With glasses slid on she skimmed to locate the proper section.

Solas took his book into his hands once more. She thought she heard an observant hum, a commentary on her choice. But when she next caught a glimpse of him, she saw what she both longed to see and feared most at the same time: warm smugness. 

“Not a word from you,” she remarked. But surely there would be many words to follow in the days and weeks to come.

[siancore]

I know this isn't 1 word but can I request "First Time" for Sambucky drabble please?

Anon, since you sent more than one word, I wrote more than one hundred words (I got carried away). Enjoy the Sambucky Fluff! 

The first time that Bucky Barnes admitted to himself that he liked guys the same way he liked gals was exciting, but a little nerve-wracking. He was fourteen years old and Archie O’Connor from around the way shared a soda with him. When Archie passed him the bottle and smiled at him that way, Bucky’s tummy did a hundred little flips. Just like it did that time when Katie Finnegan handed him a library book and their fingers touched a little.

Yep, Bucky liked gals, but he liked guys, too. But what would people think? Nothing nice. What would they say? Probably mean things.

So, Bucky pushed those feelings aside. When he turned fifteen, he asked if Katie wanted to get an ice cream cone with him, even though he could have just as easily asked Archie out. Well, maybe not as easily. What would people think? He reminded himself: Nothing nice.

The first time Bucky ever kissed another guy was when he was nineteen. Stanley Richards had traveled from California one summer to visit relatives. They met at the corner store and hit it off right away; he helped Bucky carry some groceries home. He had the kindest eyes Bucky had ever seen up to that point: Big and bright. They spent the summer together visiting Coney Island and listening to the wireless in Bucky’s small bedroom. When Stanley had to leave, Bucky cried and the two of them shared a soft kiss in the privacy of his room. What would people think? Two guys holding one another like that as their hearts pined. Nothing nice, he figured, so he pretended that the aching in his chest was not love.

The first time Bucky admitted he was in love was when he was twenty-one. Her name was Dolores McNeely and she had a cheeky grin, and the cutest dimples he ever did see. He took her out dancing most weekends. She liked the fast tunes best, and he would spin her around the dancefloor until they felt dizzy and their faces hurt from smiling. When they first made love, Bucky was sweet and gentle. He never wanted the moment to end. He told her that he’d save his dimes and buy her a brand-new ring. He couldn’t wait for her to take his last name. But the war came, and he had to leave. The first time Bucky admitted he had a broken heart was when he read Dolores’ final letter to say she was engaged to another guy. Bucky cried, and tossed the letter away. The last time he felt like that was the night that Stanley went back to California.

…..

The first time Bucky saw Sam Wilson, he was trying to kill people: Sam included. But he doesn’t do that anymore. Though the weight of the shame and guilt was still heavy on his shoulders. He still regretted the things he was forced to do. He mourned the life that was stolen away from him. He resented the things that had happened to him; things that tried to leave him as cold as the chamber he was frozen in.

Sam was the one who told him every single day that he had to let it go. That what happened was in the past and couldn’t be changed and that beating himself up about it was never going to help anyone. Least of all himself.

“Forgive yourself,” Sam told him. “Everyone else has.”

Then Sam placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and gave it a gentle, comforting squeeze. And that was the first time that Bucky ever had a crush on a friend.

Sam was a great friend and eventual housemate. He called Bucky dude and made him laugh. He was patient and generous with his time and energy. He would listen to Bucky and offer advice. And he had the most beautiful smile Bucky had ever seen in any decade.

The first time Bucky felt raw jealousy was when Leticia Byrnes came traipsing out of Sam’s bedroom one particularly cold Saturday morning. Sam’s USAF t-shirt was way too big on her as she waltzed into their kitchen and looked in the fridge.

“I’m makin’ breakfast,” said Bucky, trying to sound as friendly as he could. “Want some?”

She grabbed a carrot and took a bite, before shooting him a sweet smile and saying, “Maybe later.”

As she headed in the direction of Sam’s bedroom, she turned and said, “But thanks, Billy.”

She was already closing the door when he said, “My name’s Bucky.”

The second time Bucky was jealous was when Andre Stannard called by their apartment to take Sam out on a date. Andre was tall and handsome. Clean-cut and well put-together. Bucky felt self-conscious near him since his hair was getting too long, and he probably could do with a shave. He ran his fingers through his messy tresses and watched the two of them from the sofa as they complimented one another before heading out. When Andre pressed his hands to the lapels of Sam’s jacket, Bucky rolled his eyes so far back in his head he thought they’d get stuck.

“Be back later, Buck,” Sam called out. “Don’t wait up.”

Bucky plastered the best smile over his face that he could muster for Sam, and wished them a good evening. That night, he lay in his bedroom, sleep evading him, until he heard Sam come home alone. He smiled to himself that the date ended with Andre not returning, but then felt bad because he only wanted Sam to be happy.

The first time Bucky ever admitted to anyone that he liked guys as well as gals, was when Sam helped him make a Facebook page. He didn’t want to give away too much, and didn’t really know what he was doing, so he filled out the information sections quickly. Sam inspected it, his gaze lingering on Bucky’s profile picture a beat longer than was necessary.

“Dude, you accidentally checked that you’re into men and women,” Sam pointed out. “Want me to go back in and change it?”

Bucky stared at the screen a moment, and then looked over at Sam. I like guys and gals the same. Why shouldn’t I say so? But what would people think?

Probably the same things they thought about Sam: That he is a hero; a really great guy; a good friend; a total catch; that he is kind, fair, generous, and caring; that he deserves love from whomever he chooses to love.

What would people say? Probably the same things they say about Sam: That the person he ends up with, regardless of their gender, had better treat him right.

“It wasn’t an accident,” said Bucky, as he glanced coyly at Sam. “I like guys and gals.”

The first time Sam Wilson kissed Bucky Barnes was on an otherwise uneventful Thursday night. They were sitting on their sofa, playfully arguing about what show they wanted to stream. Sam had taken the remote control and shoved it underneath one of the cushions. Bucky turned slightly, leaned over and tried to reach for it as Sam grabbed hold of his hand. They both froze as Sam’s gaze locked onto Bucky’s.

“Wow,” said Sam. “You’re really tryin’ to distract me by getting handsy, uh?”

“No,” said Bucky, suddenly forgetting how to speak when Sam’s thumb rubbed his as they entwined their fingers.

“What’s happening here?” Sam whispered.

“I don’t know,” Bucky replied, just as quietly. “But I like it.”

“Yeah,” said Sam. “Me too.”

Sam shifted so that he was facing Bucky. He brought his hand to Bucky’s face and cupped it gently. Bucky thought his heart was going to leap from his chest as Sam leaned in closer. Their eyes closed as their lips finally met. His tummy did a hundred little flips.

The first time Bucky had ever held a guy’s hand out in public was when he and Sam were taking a slow, relaxed walk through a city park. They stopped a moment while Sam tossed some seeds to the pigeons. The sunshine caressed Sam’s beautiful face and shimmered in his dark brown eyes. Bucky lost his train of thought for a moment, stunned by just how handsome Sam was.

“You good, Buck?” he asked, noticing a faraway look in his eyes.

“Yeah,” said Bucky with a smile, as he slipped his hand into Sam’s. “Never been better.”

The first time Bucky made love to a guy was when he and Sam took their relationship to another level. It was perfect; better than he could have ever hoped for. Sam was perfect and Bucky was sweet and gentle. He kissed Sam all over his body and held him close. He loved him for the first time, just like it would be their last time.

The first time Bucky told Sam he loved him was after a particularly hard mission. Sam had been hit with shrapnel that pierced his suit. He lost a lot of blood that day. Bucky sat by his side in the sterile hospital room until he woke up.

“Hey,” said Sam tiredly as he came to.

Hey,” Bucky replied with a relieved smile.

They both went to speak at once, then laughed.

“You go,” said Sam. “I wasn’t gonna say anything important.”

“I love you, Sam Wilson,” Bucky blurted out. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

The first time Bucky had saved enough dimes to buy a brand-new ring was the week that Sam was out of town. It had only been a few days, but Bucky was missing him like crazy. He could not imagine his life without him: Kind, sweet Sam; his Sam. The guy who he could just be himself around. The guy who made everything better just by being there. The guy he was completely and utterly in love with. The guy who loved him back.

He stood in front of the glass case inside of the jewelry store. The finely crafted bands sparkled under the strategically placed lights. He didn’t need to choose the most expensive of the bunch, just one that represented their love: Strong and unending. He asked to get a closer look at a plain silver band. He imagined Sam’s face lighting up as he drops to one knee and asks for his hand in marriage.

What would people think? That they are the luckiest couple alive.

What would people say? That they’re happy for them.

SEND ME 1 WORD PROMPT FOR 100 WORD DRABBLE

[penguiduck]

The Relationship Between Readers & Writers: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Readers

Introduction | Part 1: What is this Relationship? | Part 2: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Readers | Part 3: A Day in the Life of… | Part 4: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Writers: Perspectives | Part 5: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Writers: Implementation | Part 6: How to Write the Best Feedback |  Part 7: Where Does This Leave Us?

Last chapter, we discussed the nature of this unique relationship between readers and writers, and the currency that is exchanged between them.  This section is for the writers.  I hope to give you some insight on how to motivate your readers and let them feel appreciated for giving your work the attention it deserves.

As a reminder, currency can be provided in a number of different ways, but I’m going to focus primarily on feedback in this section because I think it is the most feasible and appropriate.

A common theme that I’ve been hearing is that readers can be shy or uncomfortable giving feedback.  This can be due to the nature of an online relationship because reading work anonymously is an option.  It can also be due to a language barrier or general reluctance to engage.  Or perhaps it’s due to a bad experience with leaving feedback in the past in which they were reproached for expressing their honest thoughts.

Writers can’t necessarily help make a reader less shy or remove the language barrier, but they can be approachable and kind.  They can welcome feedback and reward those who offer it.  If a writer is consistently welcoming, it may encourage readers to take a chance and provide much-desired feedback.

In the case of a poor experience, I think it’s especially important to be cognizant and ensure that this does not happen between you and your readers.  I will address the acceptance of criticism and opposing opinions at the end of this section to help reinforce this.

If a relationship between readers and writers is desired, writers have the responsibility of being affable and fostering an environment in which readers can provide honest feedback without fear of confrontation.  Let’s first discuss ways in which we can encourage readers to come forth with feedback.

WHAT DO READERS WANT?

They want good work, writing that can make them feel what they want to feel, whether that’s heartrending angst or tooth-rotting joy.  They want to feel respected should they choose to voice their opinions.  They want to know that writers care about their work and their relationship with readers.

Nothing I’ve said is revolutionary, but I think there are a few things writers can consistently do to stay honest with these ideas:

1. Respond to your readers.  It’s a small gesture, but if they take the time to give you feedback, the least you can do is thank them for it.

Imagine you telling someone, random stranger or not, that you like their new haircut or their shoes, and that compliment falls into an awkward silence.  You probably won’t compliment them anymore because you don’t know if your compliments are welcome.  So if you, as a writer, want more feedback, you need to acknowledge those who are currently providing it.

This doesn’t just apply to comments and reviews.  This applies to emails, Facebook chats, Tumblr asks, etc.  It’s basic manners to acknowledge feedback, no matter how short or simple.

2. Thank your readers.  You can do this comment by comment, but I like to thank my readers by name in each new update.  It lets readers know that I’ve read their feedback and that I’ve not forgotten their kindness, even as I continue to write new chapters.

A sincere thank you goes a long way in expressing that appreciation.

3. Involve your readers.  I think having reader input is instrumental to writing some types of fiction.  For example, I primarily write reader-inserts — anything from straight one-shots in second person to versions of CYOAs and WWYFFs — and sometimes my readers say things in the comments that make me pensive.

Ask readers questions.  If you’re not sure about a certain writing style, theme, or idea, just ask them.  I tend to do this at the end of every chaptered piece of fiction that I publish because it’s an opportunity to gather reader input and make myself a better writer for my audience.  An honest desire to improve is a very welcome prospect for readers — it shows that you care about their thoughts and opinions.

4. Do things for your readers to show your appreciation.  You’re a writer — I assume you like writing.  Write for your readers.

You can do this by hosting raffles or opening requests. As an example, I host a raffle every month for my readers called An Expression of Thanks. Those who leave comments on my works are eligible, and the winner of this raffle receives a written one-shot.  When the events of COVID-19 first started, I opened a request booklet called A Single Word. to help readers cope with the global pandemic. You can hold raffles for any occasion and any conditions. 

Celebrate your accomplishments to thank your readers for sticking with you.  Did you get to a certain amount of kudos on AO3? Hit chapter 100 for one of your fics? Did you just reach an anniversary for posting on a specific site? 

These are all incredible accomplishments for you, but where would you be without your loyal readers?  Raffle off one-shots, art, beta-reading services, even gift cards or other items of sentimental value. Donate to a cause on behalf of your readers. Get creative!   

5. Update consistently and complete your works, if possible.  You certainly don’t have to spend every waking moment writing.  Self-care is important, after all, but no one needs me to tell you that readers appreciate quality writing and updates to their favorite stories. 

Do whatever you need to do to nurture your love for writing, and don’t let yourself burn out.  But don’t forget that there are readers waiting on the edge of their seats for an update, and by providing a new chapter or new piece, you could very well make their day.

ADDRESSING CRITICISM AND CONTRARY OPINIONS

I’d like to dedicate some time to criticism and how to approach it.  To level-set, allow me to define what I mean by criticism.  I am not referring to outright rude, trolling, or hateful comments.  These are of a different category and should be dealt with in another manner — they should be ignored and reported to an administrator.  For the purpose of this essay, I am specifically addressing well-intentioned feedback that is of a critical nature or a contrary opinion.

First, please realize tone is often lost in informal writing online.  It can be hard to hear when someone is being sarcastic or gentle or sheepish.  Start by believing that your readers have the best of intentions and give them the benefit of the doubt.  They’re not trying to ruin your day.

Understand that feedback is a gift, even if it’s critical.  Someone took precious time out of their day to tell you something about your writing.  They don’t have to do that, but they care enough to provide you this information.  Accept it, and thank them for their effort, even if you don’t agree.

Accepting criticism is not always easy — to be candid, not all criticism is fair.  It’s entirely possible that readers can misinterpret your meaning or, simply, be wrong.  Nevertheless, it’s vital that you remain gracious and kind.  You don’t have to agree with the criticism.  The nature of writing and art is subjectivity — some people like A, and some people like B.  That’s okay. 

What’s important is that you foster an environment in which these differences in opinion are accepted and appreciated.

Still don’t like critical feedback?

You can ask your readers to not provide any.  I’m sure they’ll kindly oblige.  However, I advise against this because if you want to grow as a writer, you need to learn to accept criticism, and even apply it to your craft.

J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter pitch was rejected 12 times before she found success.  Stephen King’s Carrie was rejected by 30 publishers.  Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time was rejected 26 times before finally finding a publisher who would accept it.

My point is that these are incredibly popular books, best-selling and well-loved by a huge portion of the world population, and even they were faced with rejection by those with varying opinions.

My advice is to grow a thicker skin.  Don’t let criticism crumble your confidence.  You’re still learning as a writer, refining and polishing your craft as you continue your journey.  Even published authors had to walk this same path — and are still walking this path.

There will always be opinions that contradict yours.  Oftentimes, they won’t be right or wrong — they’re just opinions.

You have freedom of speech, not freedom from speech.  You can write whatever you’d like; people can say whatever they want to say about it.  By posting your work online, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of criticism.  

It’s a fact.  Let it be.

I loathe what I call “care bear culture.”  While I think it’s important to be polite and thoughtful when rendering opinions, writers should not be offended by or shield themselves from innocuous, well-intentioned comments.  This exposure and acceptance of criticism is a fundamental piece of learning and becoming a better writer.  If you reject constructive criticism and limit your exposure of opinions to those that agree with your own, you reject personal growth.

People are allowed to have opinions.  They are allowed to think that A is better than B or X is superior to Y; and if you’re a supporter of B or Y, you have the right to respectfully defend your position.  But do not disregard a polite comment or piece of feedback simply because it is contrary to what you have done or prefer.

Do not allow opposing opinions to break your creative spirit.  Diversity of thought is incredibly important and powerful.  If you dissuade your readers from providing this type of feedback, you may not get any feedback at all.

Some of the most useful feedback I’ve ever received was uncomfortable for me to read and hurtful to apply to my craft.  It’s not easy looking at your writing with a critical eye because what you’ve put on paper is part of you.  How can you criticize yourself and your work?

There is a piece of writing advice out there: Kill your darlings.  Sometimes your readers can give you incredible perspective on who or what your darlings are.

Allow yourself to be uncomfortable.  Embrace that discussion.  You will be a better writer for it.

In the meantime, be gracious and kind when receiving criticism.  As I mentioned earlier, you don’t have to agree with the criticism, but take it to heart.  Consider it.  If you focus too much on why it’s said and not what is said, then you’re going to struggle with accepting criticism.

Allow yourself to be a better writer.  You deserve that opportunity.

This is also posted on AO3.

[dxxtruction]

Logic-b0mb.Hc

Mr. Robot: Season 2 episode 5

Break down / Character Analysis / (No hc section but I could add one)

(This episode is an alright one sandwiched between two great ones but involves a lot of important plot development. Quite literally its setting things up like planting the bombs for later.) 

Hacking the FBI.

Elliot’s really feeling the rush because he’s been itching for this a while. He’s been avoiding getting to a terminal because he’s been dealing with getting rid of Robot, and I feel like he’s also on alert about Ray so really didn’t feel up to helping him until it became necessary. (He’s on alert about pretty much everyone though that’s just how hypervigilance is, and I wouldn’t go around trusting just anyone in prison on top of that.)

Hacking makes him feel powerful and in control, something he’s expressed he lacks feeling in his every day life (to Krista). (Someone made a post about this desire for control stemming from Elliots abuse where he lacked that control and like I gotta agree.)

“The programmatic expression of my will. I live for this shit.” (I really like this quote)

The irony of hacking the FBI on a computer within a prison. The flip side is Ray’s website is also being worked on from inside a prison. I’m not sure if this stands to symbolize something about American society and the prison system or not. On one hand he’s getting rid of a threat for personal reasons and on the other hand he’s thinking of exposing one for moral reasons. He’s able to control his own hack, but when it comes to dealing with Ray he isn’t the one in charge.

List of hacking steps he gives:

Step 1. Identify the target and it’s flaws, there are always flaws.

Step 2. Build malware and prepare an attack.

Step 3. A reverse shell two stage exploit.

Step 4. Write the script.

Step 5. Launch the attack.

Elliots first hack was a local library (WashingtonTownship Public Library) and he did this at age 11, the only thing he did was look around their database but he mentions feeling powerful. (He’s been hacking for a good 17 years so it must have been a great feeling.) (He started hacking 3 years after his dad died, awful as he is Elliot began learning his way around computers from him.) (I wonder if/when Darlene got involved in hacking with Elliot.) (To bounce off that I’d love to read/write a fic about the first hack they did together)

Elliot always writes his own script, that’s how he learned. It would be the best way to ensure the most control on the outcomes to write it yourself given you know what your doing and Elliot most certainly does. (If we remember back to the hack to break Vera out of prison he mentioned he never makes mistakes in his code). (Seems impossible tbh but this is fiction we gotta remember that.)  

The hack:

Elliot is using a zero day exploit to attack with Malware he’s coding. How I’m understood this is a process used to get data though unknown vulnerabilities (in his case from the android phones).

He needs a way to implement the malware. He’ll be using a reverse shell which joins communications with the target and attacker machines. (His Fem2cell to the FBI android network.) Two stage I think refers to additional malware he’s put in to corrupt everything upon discovery. (He can get in and erase evidence, and if he’s discovered everything gets corrupted)

This will make him own Every Android phone of FBI agents in E-corp. Plus Evil corps network. (Because they’re in the same building?)

(Seen in message to Darlene) FTP - file transfer protocol (he’s handing over his scripts to Darlene so she can launch the attack on her end.)

Elliot pictures himself working in the dark (or maybe that’s just us) but its actually now daytime so several hours have past. (if we assume that we really did arrive in Rays office at night last episode which feels true.)

Darlene breaks into Angela’s

Darlene and Angela haven’t seen each other in five weeks. (They both had a lot on their plate to be fair. Before this they were meeting at least once a week for dance I assume.)

Darlene is creating a DMG file on Angela’s laptop (Darlene doesn’t own a MacBook) (Angela-image.dmg) when she comes in but its not why Darlene is there. (DMG file types hold apps for Mac but if you’re making your own files you can encrypt other things into the file besides apps. DMG’s also can be password protected. I don’t recall if we ever know whats in the file but I wonder if this was the completed FTP. Or just Darlene messing around.)

Darlene tells Angela that Elliot covered for her tracks and involvement in 5/9.

“Why didn’t he say anything?”

(“Because that’s what he does.”)

He doesn’t let people know when he’s helping them or ask for their permission (to Elliot not saying anything = low risk of others lashing out or getting hurt)(Stems from childhood). He just does because its whats good to do to ensure people he cares for are protected. (Those are his principles). Another more obvious read could be he just doesn’t tell people things, Elliot has a hard time being open with people. Angela and Elliot haven’t really been all that close for a while now as well if you remember. (I feel there was a point in time he did share important things with her.)

Darlene wants to use her in order to plant the femtocell in the FBI headquarters located at e-corp because Angela has access to the building. She uses Elliot helping her as leverage because she gets that Angela wouldn’t just do it without reason to. (And Angela still refuses because as things appear to stand she’s already been cleared and doesn’t want to get reinvolved.) (She has every reason to see hacking he FBI as super risky too.)

Darlene lets her off. (but this doesn’t stop her from still trying)

Pre-China

FBI has found the RasberryPi at Steal (mountain) Valley. (This is later said to be a dead lead because it becomes tampered evidence)

We are lead through the FBI work environment, and its mentioned security is lax. There’s a guy on the floor who shouldn’t be. (This is here to show that even if Angela were to get on this floor she has a chance of being stopped (which eventually does happen.) (Plant and payoff)

Dom mentions she doesn’t dream. (She has insomnia. This could be stemming from her job which is stressful and would make anyone become highly alert, this case is probably always on her mind as well. And/or feelings of alienation from lost connectivity to others which she fills by staying up all night chatting, or other factors we’re never quite made aware of.) (I think this is meant to contrast with the previous episodes statements on dreaming. Dom seems to know what future she’s fighting for, but its her job to. You can’t necessarily “dream” when you already know/are told what needs to be done.) (Dom is definitely a character who represents alienation.) (I don’t wanna assume what Esmail was going for but Marx's theory of alienation describes the estrangement of people from who they are as a consequence of living in a class society. (Estrangement from self and identity.(this comes up later)) Capitalist alienation has consequences that separate us from our work building identity around our jobs rather than around ourselves.)

We see Mobley on the co-workers laptop. (I assume this is the information collected from the end of the world party)

There was an E-mail sent out to tell Dom and her partner on the case that they are going to China with Santiago (with a few other agents who are all pricks)

Darlene visits.

“The she-devil” (The guard Elliot is imagining to be his Mom) isn’t around, meaning the guard is gone for some reason?

Darlene fills her brother in on how things are moving forward. She tries to get the reluctant Elliot on board with getting Angela involved because it really is the only option. Darlene feels like Elliot talking to her would convince her to change her mind. (And Robot agrees because he’s willing to risk it to protect them from the FBI) (I may be on Darlene and Robot’s side here, though I do get Elliots POV he’s not seeing how there really isn’t going to be another way in.)

Elliot wants Angela far away from all of this. He definitely still cares about her a lot and would feel guilty if anything happened to her. (He already feels guilty about everything and is trying not to let it blow up into anything worse)(Yet in doing do this leads to worse outcomes later)(He’s unable to risk her, but still understands getting into the FBI is a priority. “Find another way.”) (throughout this season and the next season we see Elliot slides away from plans as a means of deescalating what he sees as things that will lead to terrible outcomes, effectively trying to abandon and undo them.) (Mr Robot and him have continuous conflict on this.)

China (Dom and Whiterose)

The FBI is in China to discuss needing access with Minister Zhang (Whiterose) (I’m gonna mostly use Zhang here for contextual purposes) (The Chinese Minister of State Security)

In the meeting Dom speaks up about needing access to what China has on the Dark Army (In a previous shot she sees people in the Dark Army masks at the airport.) (We’re not sure how much intel the FBI have on DA. They are the worlds most dangerous hacker group and thats knowledge to anyone who knows about them. The FBI has to have at least some things about them on file, like maybe those masks.) (Dom is suspecting Dark Army and F-society could have a connection as affiliate hacker groups) (It’s set up to imply she saw those guys in the airport and It got her thinking which is why she jumps in to say something.)

This episode deals with the idea power a lot (the lack of, gaining of, and having of power). How Whiterose is framed in scenes indicates a sense of power and control (even to some extent framing her as godlike). She’s revealed to maintain a high ranking government position, while also heading the dark army. It’s in her best interests to comply with he FBI, and shows no concern for her involvement. She knows she has the upper-hand.

Party at the Ministers house (Monday night)

Dom discovers the clock hallway, when Zhang discovers her. (I think she peaked Whiterose’s interests in the meeting and this just solidifies it) (side-note: I don’t think Dom really needed to pee all too bad she just wanted and excuse to get away from the party.)

She discusses the clock which looks like the one her parents have then introduces who she is to Zhang. (Can’t tell if Dom lied about that anecdote to not feel intrusive or if Whiterose was lied to. If Dom lied, then it’s a nice play because Whiterose ends up lying about having a sister later.)

Dom (who is naturally curious) then asks what the clocks are about. and we get this:

“Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player the struts and frets his hour upon the stage. And then is heard no more”

(“You’ve surrounded yourself with the constant reminder of mortality?”)

“- …As each second passes I push myself to keep moving.”

(I can see Whiterose’s obsession with time stemming from her confrontation of mortality, the traumatic experiences of her former lover. Whiterose sees time as her enemy in the race to complete her plans. Yet she also finds her ways of controlling it making it seem like she is the master of it. This is sort of the mask she wears and she wears it well. (Her plans ????)

Then she asks why Dom is in the FBI

“I was. I am disgusted by the selfish brutality of the world, but at the same time I am utterly fascinated by it.” (This line gives insight into how Dom sees the world and other people. There’s this one Florence Nightingale quote which calls out the selfish brutality on the part of the superior (those in power) as part of the true horror of war.)

Something about this discussion make Whiterose open up to Dom enough to show an artwork in her office about the anxiety within losing ones identity. (Identity has a lot of meaning to Whiterose. She lives a double life, a large part of her own identity is hidden from the world in several ways. Whiterose is alienated from herself in the sense the she can’t be herself to the world.)

“How is it that revolution can create such beautiful art yet you and I are tracking revolutionaries who’ve created nothing but turmoil?” (Another bomb planted… if she only knew.)

Whiterose pressed so Dom reveals the personal reason for joining the FBI deals with her breakup after a proposal in her final semester of law school, one thing leading to another she’s now an FBI agent. (I think Whiterose picks up that Dom gay af by the way she hides who her old flame’s gender is.) (anyway Whiterose ends up having some sort of reaction to this and shows Dom her dresses then lies about having a sister, which Dom picks up as a lie.)

Whiterose inquires about what if 5/9 never happened, mentions alternate universes, she is moved by the idea of what ifs for things to be different. Whiterose gets flustered about this showing some semblance of vulnerability, and the clocks go off on the hour. (This idea of alternate realities is planted here and plays a role into what her project may be, but we’re never quite sure. At the end of S4 when we’re in the headspace it seems her machine worked and we did enter a new reality.)

The Dark Army shoot out in China kills everyone but Dom and Santiago. (RIP)

In the court with Ray

The basketball court is fairly empty around this time but hot Carla is there in her usual spot. (Sidenote: I love her)

Elliot still has to help Ray (its the conditions he has to meet for letting him have access to a terminal)

Robot is antsy and feels this wastes time, that they need to be getting in touch with Angela. (But of course Elliot ignores him because he’s against Angela getting involved.)

To help Ray he says needs administrative access from the old IT guy. IT guy comes. Elliot finds out the guy knows what he’s doing, raising his suspicions. So he starts putting things together that theirs something fishy as to why Ray came to him. IT guy wants to just move off the subject but Elliot doesn’t have time to play games. This chatting back and forth between them is fairly funny, especially when robot just key smashes and Elliot has to back space it. The IT guy eventually yields and shows Elliot the site, which pretty much deals transactions in every type of crime including trafficking.

Later in Elliots cell he’s trying to piece together what to do about Ray, he wonders whether he is innocent or guilty. Robot wants to move on but Elliot can’t.

“You know, but your going to ignore it. You wanna know why? Because thats what we do.” (“That’s not what I do.”)

Robot is always weighing the risks at every possible turn of events, always weighing out he 1’s from the 0’s. He does it to protect them of course, but sometimes these decisions are selfish. While it may do well to ignore for their safety, the risks of not doing anything could ruin Elliots sense of morality. (Not that robot can help things are already going to blow up on them anyway). Elliot shows us he wants to act, because he’d feel sick if he knowingly enabled the things that happen on that site (mainly concerned about the people being trafficked). He’s one to take down people who are bad even if there are risks involved. It’s that part of him is driven by his desire to make a better and safer world for the host even if he’s unaware of it. I do find it curious that Robot insinuates a “we” here on what they do because MM has yet to ignore something like this before. (A hint or just a throw away plea to get him to stop?)

Logic bomb- a set of instructions secretly incorporated into a program so that if a particular condition is satisfied (or a set time occurs) they will be carried out, usually with harmful effects.

(.HC encrypted file type that needs password access)

Elliots taken by Rays goons (I cry and he cries for help)

Joanna

Joanna meets with this guys she’s paying and he confesses about his paranoia with the FBI being on his case … So she kills him. (The Wellick’s are … something. I am disgusted by the selfish brutality. Yet I guess violence is often a form of self preservation especially in this shows logic so like I get it. Some people hack others attack.)

He mentions protecting some guy in a hoodie at this meeting. (This says Joanna definitely pieced together that this tech Tyrell kept mentioning is the mysterious “Ollie” who came by her house.)

The way she just orders her security guard to kill a man and this is the option she went to, Joanna does not mess. Honestly can’t even describe all the dynamics at play here between Tyrell ,“Tyrell”, the body guard, Joanna, and Joanna’s new lover. Things are being planted for Joanna needing to find where Tyrell is (and Elliot’s been asking about the same).(Also the media really eats up this Tyrell situation and Joanna becomes an infamous celebrity for it.) (Everyone wants to know where Tyrell is.)

Joanna’s orders were to inject succinylcholine (induces paralysis) before shooting him. She sees this as giving the man time to process his final moments. “Letting him die with answers. Otherwise we’re nothing but ruthless murders.” She says this all while feeding her baby.

Angela meets with Ollie Then with Elliot Then finally with Darlene.

Angela finds out Ollie has been brought in for FBI questioning. He confessed about “the CD man” to the FBI and they’ve drawn up a sketch of him (Cisco).

This scares Angela enough to start considering compliance with Darlene. It eventually leads her to a decision based on what the best possible outcome could be.

Angela makes an attempt to reach out to Elliot before actually moving forward with her decision. This shows the contrast between them. What Angela does is make sure things are okay (at least for Elliot), though she may act separately from how he feels. By this point Angela has run down her options and decides her best option is to just plant the femtocell “Either I act or I wait to get caught.”

Elliot doesn’t say much after his initial push back, he doesn’t want to put Angela at any risk but can’t do anything about it if she’s already made her decision. Her logic also makes sense, it could even be riskier if she did nothing.

The topic then changes. Angela’s still wondering why Elliot’s been different, why he’s been pushing her away.

Instead of being direct Elliot mentions their conversation on the train platform the day he was found in he cemetery. Angela gets a bit uncomfortable, there’s lingering worries about Elliot.

“You told me to take care of myself. I wanted to be okay. I wanted to s-stop seeing him before I talked to you again.”

“And”

“And my dead father’s standing behind you right now.”

This opens up discussion again about the idea of annihilation, which was touched on in the previous episode. It seems in some part, but not entirely, that Elliot wants to stop seeing Mr Robot in order to feel like he’s improved himself, that he’s become better. That would be his way of taking care of himself. Obviously these desires turn up empty handed because there’s no getting rid of Robot. He’s still conflicting with him, and though that plot mostly takes a step back in this episode it is shown in what ways they’re still ending up disagreeing.

“I could be a friend. Someone to talk to. Someone who cares about you. Who knows maybe that will help.”  waitfortheq.ogg starts playing when she says this, it’s the theme associated with Shayla so I cry. It’s a song that carries like a special feeling of safety, a comfort in knowing that your here with someone who’s a friend, and while still being fairly somber. Elliot (and I as well) seems to agree this could help because he starts asking about qwerty and they actually smile and laugh. (My heart). I like to imagine they talked for a while after this and that things ended well. Despite them still being in disagreement by the end of it, Angela feels more confident in her decision now.

Meanwhile at F-society HQ: D.C Op is a go. #Droptheballs. This is right before Angela gets there.

Angela takes a secure route to meet with Darlene at HQ to get the tower from her in order plant the femtocell. Something to maybe note is Angela seems to only start acting once she had selfish reasons to doing so.

[blackjack-15]

Royals, Towers, and the Treasures They Hide — Thoughts on: Treasure in a Royal Tower (TRT)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are notspoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: TRT.

The Intro:

I’m gonna be honest starting out here: TRT is one of my favorite games of all time, let alone one of my favorites in the Nancy Drew series. Part of it is nostalgia — I can’t count how many times my sister and I played it — part of it is my childhood (and adulthood) love for Marie Antoinette, part of it is Hotchkiss, part of it is the bangin’ soundtrack with its heavy use of the harpsichord — it’s just an ace gaming experience altogether.

That doesn’t make me blind to its flaws, nor does it cloud my ability to analyze it as a game. Just know that for some Nancy Drew games, including this one, they really can be more than the sum of their parts.

Let’s sum up the parts anyway.

TRT improves slightly on the mechanics from MHM, as well as its animation. The characters look less like they’re constantly having a seizure, the voice acting is better (well…mostly better; Lisa’s is Truly Horrible), and characters are allowed to say more than one thing and/or have more than one character trait.

There’s also another historical background in this game — Marie Antoinette’s life, particularly against the backdrop of the French revolution — that creates a more complex storyline with two plot threads and some actual emotional weight.

This time, the historical background is tragic (a trend that will continue in most of these games), and so even knowing the end, Her Interactive makes you care about and root for Marie, largely through what you find out about her from Professor Hotchkiss.

TRT is keeping the trend of longer and longer games, as its playtime is slightly more than MHM. It needs the longer runtime, as there’s more story, more locations, more secrets, and (possibly) slightly more dialogue to unpack.

TRT isn’t quite in the era of Nancy Drew games where the dialogue is pivotal (a fact that makes it rather surprising and self-defeating that fans rejoice in skipping dialogue), but it’s certainly important, and you’re expected to pay attention.

Unfortunately, paying even a little bit of attention will reveal the culprit. Oddly enough, this game doesn’t even try to suggest that anyone other than the culprit might be responsible, though it plays at “oh what’s Jacques doing” for a full minute in the middle of the game.

We won’t reach a game where the culprit is partially hidden for a few more games yet, but there’s at least an effort here to play entirely fair (as opposed to SCK), so I applaud that.

Overall, TRT is a strong 4thentry in a puzzle/adventure series, and is absolutely essential for the new player, both for its recurring characters (Bess and George! Ned! Professor Hotchkiss!) and for just simply how wellit performs the at-this-point Tentative Nancy Drew Formula.

The Title:

This is one of the most successful titles, simply because it tells you exactly what the mystery is about — the treasure within a royal tower.

The treasure is the focal point of both the A-plot (Nancy’s actively looking for the treasure once you’re 1/4 of the way through the game) and the historical B-plot (Marie Antoinette’s life and her hidden journal which is with the treasure and a treasure of its own).

Spoiler Alert: the real treasure wasn’tthe real friends Nancy made along the way. Mostly because she didn’t make any friends.

There’s actually not much to say in this section because the title is so darn good by itself, so let’s move on to the “reason” behind any Nancy Drew game: the mystery.

The Mystery:

There’s no mystery when Nancy shows up, marking a first (but certainly not a last) in the series. Nancy’s simply on a fun little vacation in a castle in Wisconsin — Wickford Castle, which has a tower carted over brick-by-brick from France’s Château Rochemont — which is owned by a friend of Carson Drew’s, Christi Lane.

Her vacation grinds to a halt when Wickford Castle gets snowed in and the library is (rather brutally) vandalized, causing the caretaker Dexter to lock it up and hide the key, suspicious of the three guests at the castle — Nancy, Lisa Ostrum, and Beatrice Hotchkiss — and the only other staff member, Jacques Brunais.

Instead of continuing her quiet little vacation, Nancy decides to figure out who vandalized the library at Wickford and why, learning about the Royal Tower, Marie Antoinette, the French Revolution, and about her fellow castle-mates at the same time.

Nancy ultimately solves the mystery with a little help from Marie and a little help from Hotchkiss, finding Marie Antoinette’s three medallions, opening up the Royal Tower, discovering the saboteur, and finding the Treasure in the Royal Tower.

As a mystery, the plot of this game largely succeeds. Sure, the culprit is obvious, but the game isn’t really that concerned with keeping her identity a secret. 

Rather, the focus is on Nancy maneuvering her way around the castle, gaining trust or information or a clue from the different suspects, collecting the medallions and solving little mysteries that lay the ultimate mystery – the Treasure in the Royal Tower — bare.

TRT is a fair-play mystery, meaning you can figure out everything before Nancy does, but it has enough plot threads that most people will forget or not pay attention to one, and so will end up with one thing they didn’t think of/consider — even if it’s not a main thread.

Most importantly, the mystery succeeds because it changes focus from identity to figuring out Marie Antoinette to figure out where she would have hidden things and how, and that’s much more interesting than “who wrecked the library”.

The Suspects:

Dexter Egan is the caretaker of Wickford Castle, and the big man in charge of Wickford Castle with Christi gone on business. Gruff, cantankerous, and incredibly uninterested in doing his job, Dexter uses Nancy as an errand girl, doing the things that he’s “too busy” to do, while he…honestly faffs about doing nothing.

I think the point is to be like “ooh what is Dexter doing?? THIEVING??” but no, he’s just doing absolutely nothing, and I think that’s a waste. Part of it might be that he’s bothered by the destruction of the library, but everyone else has stuff that they’re doing throughout the course of the mystery, and I think it’s a shame that he doesn’t.

Also just fix the radiator; it’s winter, for heaven’s sake. Nancy’s gonna freeze.

Dexter’s also revealed to be the adopted-then-disinherited son of Ezra Wickford, the original owner of the castle. Ezra was a total dick, keeping contrasting scrapbooks of Dexter’s good things and then bad things, which is Super Messed-Up. 

No wonder Dexter didn’t turn out better; every time he messed up his dad was probably like “yeah this is going in the Bad Book”. Yikes.

Lisa Ostrum is a photojournalist and guest of the resort who is stuck there because of the snow, just like Nancy. She’s over-eager to make friends with Nancy and attempts to buddy up with her — a contrast to everyone else in the castle, who either has Nancy earn their trust, or just doesn’t care about her altogether.

She is, as you can gather from the brief description above, the villain of the game, wanting Nancy to find the treasure for her and vandalizing the library over a “mistranslation” that doesn’t make any sense — she translates “journal” in French as “library”, not “journal”, aka the same word in English? Nope.

Lisa also lies about weird things, like greeting Nancy with “Hola!” and then pretending she doesn’t speak any Spanish, even though she does, and even though speaking Spanish wouldn’t make her suspicious? It’s one of a handful of very Weird things about Lisa that singles her out as the villain.

She’s the one who encourages Nancy to go outside to explore, then locks the door behind her, leaving Nancy to die from exposure. When Nancy gets back in, Lisa doesn’t even bother with the act, wondering idly who would do such a thing, as if it wasn’t blatantly obvious.

Nancy in her letter back home is like “to think I almost made friends with a diamond thief!” and I’m like…when did they make friends? When did they almost make friends?

She is a standout as the flattest character in the game, however, making all the rest look even better by comparison. When you can find out that a character has multiple other lives (including IDs!) and they’re still not interesting…that’s not great.

Jacques Brunais, skier non-extraordinaire (according to his Epic Loss at the Olympics on behalf of France) and ski instructor at Wickford Castle, is most likely the third person you’ll meet at Wickford, and is a man with an interesting past in relation to the Castle.

Jacques is a character more lovingly crafted to fit into the story than either Lisa or even Dexter (despite his history in the castle), as his reason for being there is two-fold. He’s there outwardly for his fiancée, Isabelle, who’s studying at a nearby university. He’s anxious to marry her, but can’t do so at the moment.

He has another tie to the area, however — one that runs in the family. His great-grandfather was a part of the team that moved the Royal Tower from France to the equally impressive and historical Wisconsin. 

His grandfather discovered the blue medallion and Marie Antoinette’s journal as he was moving the Tower, and made the Obvious, Sensical choice to keep the medallion and re-hide the priceless journal.

Jacques thus spends the entire game attempting to get into the Royal Tower, knowing that the journal sits untouched in there and that he has one part of the puzzle — the blue medallion that his great-grandfather gave him on his deathbed — needed to find the treasure.

\As a culprit, Jacques is actually quite a good choice. He’s actively hiding something from Nancy, he has an alternative motive for everything he does, and is generally cagey in his responses. 

He also hangs out in the area where most of the Suspicious Events of the game happen — the broken elevator, the lockers that are Full of Snooping Material, etc. — and sends you on errands rather than leave his post. It’s just small things on top of small things, but it’s effective.

Jacques’ introduction makes him seem like a smarmy, know-nothing French lech, but everything else in the game contradicts this — his loyalty to Isabelle, his feelings of regret of not having supported France well in the Olympics, his consciousness of his great grandfather’s legacy and discovery, his curiosity about the Tower, etc.

Simply put, he’s one of the best characters in the game, but he hides it quite well, leaving a lot of people to just go with their first impression of him.

He ends up helping out Nancy and eloping with Isabelle, giving him a genuinely happy ending — which is a rarity among suspects, who generally get a “life goes on” ending versus a faerie tale ending like Jacques (and Isabelle) gets.

Professor Beatrice Hotchkiss is a university professor of history, specializing in Queens — lost, ancient, displaced, murdered, she runs the gamut. This of course makes her intensely interested in the Royal Tower and in Wickford’s secrets.

At first, she refuses to speak to Nancy properly, cracking open her door slightly to accept the errands that Nancy runs for her and others, ordering 50 chicken drumsticks despite saying that she’s not a big meat-eater, and clacking away at her typewriter.

As the game goes on, the delightfully zany Professor Hotchkiss opens up, visiting the sitting room of the castle in the wee hours of the morning — the “witching hour”, as she delights in calling it — and talking to Nancy about her research and about the history of the tower and of Marie Antoinette.

Hotchkiss has an opinion on everything, making her a delight to talk with and listen to. She doesn’t much care what Nancy thinks of her, preferring instead to focus on what interests her. Her delight at Nancy finding Marie Antoinette’s journal — and her nigh-impossible task of translating the journal in one night — is contagious, exciting not only Nancy but the player as well.

As a suspect, Hotchkiss is TRT’s suspect that’s cleared early in order to be Nancy’s helper — but with a slight twist, as Nancy more works as Hotchkiss’ helper, and it’s Hotchkiss who solves the mystery, allowing Nancy to do the actual footwork.

She’s eccentric, but not really suspicious, and she’s not meant to be — she’s a character with her own agenda, rather than a character there to sneakily hint at their motive and lurk around the crime scenes to alert Nancy’s Spidey Sense.

Hotchkiss’ unique perspective on Marie Antoinette is often a point people make fun of in this game, preferring the Classical Narrative that Marie was a queen, and queens are Bad and Wrong because they’re rich and That’s Terrible. Thus, Hotchkiss’ sympathy and enthusiasm are often mocked when people talk about this game.

As a fellow historian with a soft spot for lost, maligned, or brilliant queens (or queens that were a mix of all of these), I can say honestly that Hotchkiss’ point of view on Marie Antoinette has not only found its place in history as we learn more about her, but it also marks her as a free thinker in academia — something incredibly rare and precious.

Hotchkiss forces the player to ask the question of why this Treasure — not the diamond, but the journal — is so important, and why people are willing to steal, lie, and vandalize in order to get it.

It’s the “edu” in the “edutainment” label that Nancy Drew games have been given, but its job isn’t to teach you math facts nor to quiz you on the French Revolution. Its job is to do something a bit, well, a bit more revolutionary: it’s to ask you to consider history more deeply than drawing lines between those that our more “modern” sensibilities designate as heroes and those we believe to be villains; between those we consider “enlightened” and those that we consider “backwards”.

Hotchkiss is a zany free thinker with a distinct lack of interest in everyday affairs and an obsession with not only studying those that history has forgotten or maligned, but in telling others and sharing her passion. She’s an awesome character, and I’m so glad they saw the chance to have her reoccur and took it.

On a less soapbox-y note, there’s a hilarious and oddly detailed theory out in the fandom that Hotchkiss is actually Future!Nancy, who has gone back in time to help her younger self out. There are not a few similarities between the two women — quirky redheads who are interested in history and delight in not telling people what they mean or want.

If anyone has a link to the big post for this theory, message me and I’ll include the link here. [EDIT: POST FOUND!] It’s worth a read, even if you just wanna giggle for a bit.

The Favorites:

There are a ton of things I love about this game, so let’s get started.

The soundtrack is of special mention in a game series with a lot of excellent soundtracks. Atmospheric, varied, and completely fitting to the theme of the game, TRT’s soundtrack is one to go back and listen to fairly often. It’s also immediately recognizable, which is something that a soundtrack should absolutely be, if it can manage it.

Hotchkiss is a wonder and a joy, and she makes the entire game brighter with her presence. Jacques also is a great part of this game, and the classic three (Bess/George/Ned) are in fine form as phone contacts

I’d be remiss in exploring this game metatextually without recognizing the Castle itself as a character and as one of my favorite parts of this game. Wickford Castle is an entity unto itself; its many winding staircases, dead ends, secret passageways, and rooms that lead to nowhere all build up its character as an old home that protects its occupants, past and present.

It’s as much a character as Marie herself, whose color — purple — dominates the castle. Her tragic story — a woman maligned, gossiped about, imprisoned, violated, and ultimately murdered for the crime of her birth and a marriage  — is found in the dungeons, in the library, in the décor, and, yes, in her Royal Tower.

The tower, like the queen herself, is lonely, abandoned, and yet of great worth. It hides a great treasure, though those who seek it only see the basic treasure, rather than the thing of true worth: a primary source of centuries-old conflict and history, and the inner thoughts of a woman embroiled in an incredibly tumultuous time in history, both politically and personally.

My favorite puzzle (besides Hotchkiss’ quizzes, but I was a history nerd when I was a kid and I’m still one today) in TRT is probably escaping the elevator. It’s such a fun thing to do, especially since it seems “forbidden” in a way, and who doesn’t want to climb up an elevator shaft risk-free?

The sheer moment of terror when it breaks is awesome, too.

The Un-Favorites:

Even though this is one of my favorite games, there are some things that aren’t my favorite.

Lisa, as mentioned above, is a completely ineffective culprit, along with being obvious, so that’s the one thing that stands out above all others that I dislike. It takes you out of the story whenever she talks or is involved, which is a shame, because the atmosphere in the rest of the game is very immersive.

It might seem like a small annoyance, but another thing that bothers me is how long it takes to get your radiator fixed. It’s basically the focus of your first day at Wickford Castle, and I have no idea why they chose something that makes that much noise to be a large, over-arching puzzle.

Plus, all you can talk to Dexter about until it’s fixed is just “hey, is my radiator working?”, and let’s face it, Dexter doesn’t need the help to be dull in this game.

My least favorite puzzle in this game (once again, other than slider puzzles, which are my Arch Nemesis) is probably the INCREDIBLY LOUD door puzzle in the dungeon. It’s not a hard puzzle, and I don’t mind the random nature of it. But it is SO LOUD and I hate it a lot XD.

The Fix:

So knowing all of this, what fixes would I make?

The first thing is to give Dexter an actual plot. The game treats him more like a historical character than a present-day suspects, what with revealing him solely through environmental storytelling versus actual sleuthing. 

Give Dexter something to do, and he’ll become an actual character with a tragic backstory, rather than a tragic backstory that takes two years to finish fixing the radiator.

An interesting idea might be to have him be searching for the treasure as well. Maybe Ezra hinted at having a medallion or whatever, and Dexter is searching for it in order to stick it to his Old Man for, you know, adopting and then disowning him and then leaving the medallion as “see I was a Good dad after all you can’t be mad” sort of thing.

Make it so Dexter is the one who tears up the library in a fit of frustration at his horrible father, but discovers that Hotchkiss’ medallion has been stolen and knows that he didn’t do that — so he knows there’s at least one other person trying to find the treasure.

He doesn’t have time to fix Nancy’s radiator because he’s so busy trying to find the treasure at the same time that he’s trying to stymie anyone else doing the same thing. He knows Nancy’s not there for the treasure, so he’s comfortable giving her tasks to do so that the Castle is taken care of.

He’s the one who tore up the library (albeit in a fit of rage), but Lisa’s the one who stole Hotchkiss’ medallion, but Jacques is the one sawing through the iron bars in the Tower at night…suddenly, the stakes are a lot higher for everyone involved — not to mention that, now, everyone is involved. 

Jacques wants the treasure for family and love, Lisa wants it for money, Dexter wants it for revenge/to settle a past wrong, and Hotchkiss wants it found (but not for herself) so that the world will know Marie Antoinette’s true story.

The best way to flesh out a world, big or small, is to have conflicting motives in characters.

Yes, Hotchkiss wants the journal and treasure found, but she doesn’t want the tower destroyed. Jacques wants the treasure for France and for his future life, but respects his country’s history a little too much to do anything truly illegal. Lisa wants it for money, but doesn’t want to be found out and pay the steep price in prison. 

So let’s say that Dexter wants to establish his right to the Castle and to shove it to Ezra, but can’t bring himself to fully disfigure his father’s memory nor his happy memories in the Castle.

The characters would become more complex, and Nancy’s case would be very different, as everyone would hide things from her with different reasons and different ways. Have Hotchkiss clue her in first, then have her discover Jacques, confront Dexter about Ezra, and then discover Lisa at the scene of the crime.

Speaking of Lisa, she’s the source of a lot of the small fixes that would improve the game. 

First is her voice acting; I realize that Her Interactive wasn’t exactly a big-budget type game maker, but in a game where everyone else’s VAs are pretty good, she sticks out like a sore thumb. Replace her VA, because you just can’t take that voice seriously.

Another Lisa fix: have her actually be Nancy’s friend. Have Lisa buddy up to Nancy in a realistic way (we’re both young! both girls! both “sleuths”! Anything would do, really) and make friends with her.

Having Lisa share “important” information that she found out (actually information to throw Nancy off the scent) with Nancy, and do little things for her, or give her little gifts — all of this would add up to a seemingly genuine show of friendship, and would give weight to Lisa’s statement that Nancy is the “worst friend a diamond thief could have”.

That leads us right into the last thing with TRT to fix: the culprit reveal and confrontation scene.

Making Lisa active in this scene would be the easiest way to improve it; have her come in right before Nancy solves the puzzle, and Nancy, who knows that the one who’s still after the treasure is Lisa by sheer process of elimination, backs off and tells Lisa she won’t let her steal it. 

Lisa pepper-sprays Nancy, and makes her fall to the ground, letting us see the rest of the scene from the side on the ground.

Lisa finishes the last step of the puzzle, casually monologuing the entire time about how she’s gonna get away and have money and how Nancy can’t stop her, etc. etc. 

Nancy might murmur to “herself” (the player) that her eyes are clearing up, but she’s gotta stop Lisa somehow. Cue Lisa walking away casually, Nancy hitting the switch, Lisa’s trapped, and the game ends as currently established.

None of these, despite the length of this section, are super big changes, but added up, I think they’d make a game that’s actually more true to itself and its theme and message than the current incarnation.

[mari-matsu]

Shelter Chapter  7

First Day ~School Trip Time~

“FIELD TRIP,” You had enthusiastically said as you burst through the class doors. A jovial smile was on your face as your classmates trailed after you, a sweat dropped expression on some people’s visages. You didn’t mind the look they were giving you as you twirled on your heel while a girlish squeal escaped your lips. Dancing in your spot, you giggled out, “We’re finally going on a field trip! Oh my god, I can’t wait!” Then you traipsed around the room as your friends gave you an amused expression.

“You’re really excited for this, aren’t you, (Y/N)-chan?” Manami had asked you softly and you turned to her with a beam on your face. The level of excitement and anticipation you had for this school trip can rival even Korosensei’s and he came to school wearing a geisha. It’s just that you really loved field trips, especially if they were the overnight ones. You get to spend more time with your friends and classmates, and you get to explore new sights, something that you really loved since you’ve been traveling with your parents since you were young.

Quickly grasping Manami’s hands, surprising the tiny scientist, you eagerly said, “Of course I am! School trips are the best, and we’re going to Kyoto! Everything is so pretty there during the spring, although it’s a shame we’re not visiting the place at fall. The traditional food is magnificent too, plus the historical shows are amazing!” You had gushed and Manami lightly smiled at your exuberance as you joyfully swung both of your hands in an arc.

“(Y/N)-chan, it sounds like you’ve already been there.” Kataoka hummed thoughtfully as your female friends gathered around, and you nodded your head. She then flashed you an inquisitive look, “If you have already visited, then why are you so excited to go?” You quickly whirled on Kataoka as your eyes sparkled with mirth.

“It’s because I get to go with you guys this time! The last time I went, it was with my parent’s for a business trip, and even then I didn’t get to see everything. But this time, I have three days to spend and explore! How can I not be excited for this?!” You said with a hop and a majority of your female friends laughed at how much of a kid you were. Yet despite that, they were quite happy upon knowing that you were just excited to spend more time with them.

 Facts about (Y/N):

10. Gets extremely pumped for the class field trip.

 “Well, before you can get excited about the trip, you still need a group.” Hayami had coolly said and you paused in your happy squeals to consider her words. That’s right you still need a group to work with. Just a class period ago, Karasuma-sensei had told you all about how this trip wasn’t going to be a regular one. You were all supposed to focus on assassination since Kyoto offered a lot of places for sniping. That said you were to be placed in even groups. If you remembered correctly, it’s supposed to be three groups of six and two groups of four, but due to the uneven number of students there’s supposed to be a group with an extra person.

Humming thoughtfully, you soon frowned at the odd group. If someone joined the one with six members, then it’s too much. However, if they joined the one with only four members, then it’ll be unfair to the smallest group. Sighing, you slumped against the desk at the front of the class. “Why can’t we all just go together? It’s not fun if we have to split up.” A pout then wormed its way to your lips, and your friends gave you a comforting pat on the shoulder.

“Well, we could always just meet up with our groups.” Kanzaki kindly offered, but you were still pouting. You really wanted to spend the day with all of your friends, and try to help with everyone’s assassinations. You wanted to be able to support them at all times, despite your slight unwillingness to harm your teacher… This isn’t fair, why can’t you just join everybody’s group.

“Hey, (Y/N), want to be in my group?” A collection of voices sounded and you lightly picked your head up to meet five inquiring gazes. Your pout deepened as Nagisa, Sugino, Karma, Maehara, and Isogai exchanged a look at how in sync they were with their asking. However, they just brushed it off as they expectantly looked at you, an unknown jealousy formed in their hearts.

“Yes!” You had whined before dejectedly laying your head on the desk again. The five blinked, not knowing how to take your answer since you didn’t specify as to who you’re replying to, as some of your female friends inwardly grinned at their reaction. They still felt like shipping you with someone, but at least they’re not making it a competition anymore.

You began to mope over the desk again before vaguely hearing Irina-sensei go crazy about being left behind. But over that shouting she made, you heard the door slide open and the squish of tentacles. Turning so your other cheek was on the desk, you saw Korosensei approach you with familiar red books. Instantly, you perked up at the sight, your gloom momentarily forgotten, as Korosensei exclaimed with, “There’s one for each of you!”

“What are they?” Isogai asked and your teacher said that they were school trip guidebooks. Korosensei then used his Mach 20 speed to hand them out. As he dropped one in each student’s hands, your classmates slouched from the heavy weight as Maehara exclaimed how heavy they were. You just brightly grinned at the sight of these books as you raised yours up, not at all bothered with the weight.

“This book holds everything you wanted to know about Kyoto, perfect for the incoming trip!” You had cheered, completely out of your glum, as Korosensei nodded behind you. This book was actually created because after Korosensei announced the trip yesterday, you immediately gushed your time there to him. The similarly enthusiastic teacher decided to write down everything you said, down to the last detail, before taking a trip there with his Mach 20 speed.

So with your Kyoto experience and Korosensei’s quick trip, the book was born because the two of you were too excited to do anything but wait. “Every sight-seeing spot illustrated, the top 100 souvenirs, and travel self-defense how-to’s from square one to practical use! The two of us stayed up last night making them!”And he’s not wrong; you literally came here last night to help put the books together.

You bobbed your head at his words as you grinned. By the way, the travel self-defense section was completely because of you. The knowledge that you learned from your past self-defense teachers were all packed in there in hopes that it may help your classmates. Continuing on, you then held up a tiny paper sculpture before saying, “Korosensei even made a paper craft model of Kinkakuji! It’s like the real deal!” You squealed and your teacher happily joined you.

“Just how psyched are the two of you for this?!” Cried one of your classmates, but you had dismissed the question with a hop in your place. No words are needed to be said for Korosensei’s and your actions are good enough answers. You really could not wait for this trip.

Well, before you can get excited about the trip, you still need a group.

Hayami’s voice echoed in your mind and you immediately halted once again. Oh that’s right. Sighing, you’re about to start your mope again, before your eyes suddenly lit up. There’s no harm in asking, right? “Korosensei, is it possible if I can switch between groups?” Your sudden question threw him off as your classmates and teachers stopped to listen.

“Switch between groups? Do you mean participating with everybody?” Korosensei asked and you nodded. “Give me a good reason why you should.”  At that your irises then twinkled with a bit of hope as you clasped your hands together, pleadingly.

“I want to be with everybody!” You had started with a bubbly tone, before it became mildly serious. “This is the first assassination attempt in which I can help. I want to be able to assist everyone. I don’t care if I get the money, in fact if the assassination works, I don’t want a single yen. I just want to try and help everyone, to support them, Korosensei.” You had resolutely said, and your teacher is reminded of your words weeks ago.

Despite your previous conviction to help your classmates with an assassination, you have yet to do so. That’s mainly because you were caught up with the assembly and the midterms to actually do anything. But also due to the dilemma in your heart. The prospect of wielding a blade against your teacher and friend sickened you, but this was something you had to face.  So, this will be the first time you’ll try to assassinate Korosensei, you decided. Whatever happens, you’ll take it as a sign of what’s to come; whether or not you do have the mental power to kill Korosensei will be decided on the trip.

As your teacher mulled his thoughts over, a silence enveloped the classroom as they waited for Korosensei’s response. Even Irina-sensei or Karasuma-sensei won’t say anything. They’re leaving the decision entirely up to him. “Hmm, this would be your first time assassinating me.” Your teacher mumbled in thought and your heart swelled with happiness at the foreshadowed response, “Alright! You can join every group! However, you’re going to have to travel with me to be able to assist in everyone’s assassination.” Then you let out a cry of happiness as you pumped your arms. “But, I now expect greater assassination attempts since everyone has an extra member in their group.”

At that, simultaneous noises of agreement could be heard. You just grinned at Korosensei, not at all fazed at the raised expectations. And so, the next few days in the classroom consisted of meticulous planning with everybody in the class. You made sure to go over everything and anything that your classmates planned. You helped them out with an idea to corner your teacher, relayed descriptive information about every sight, and even pointed out restaurants and attractions your classmates could visit after their attempt was done. The process was guilt-inducing but you forced the thoughts away. You were going to try assassinating. That’s the main goal. So with a deep inhale in every group meeting, you surged on with your assassination preparations.

Let’s not forget your own preparation for the trip, however. Like Korosensei, you were exuberantly packing everything, but it’s actually important. You made sure to pack a pocket knife, although you don’t really use it, because your parents had insisted. Additionally, you packed little things that would entertain you for a while, like books, a rubix cube, and even some cards. You also made sure to remember the camera you’ve owned since you were a young kid, to take multiple pictures and videos of course. Not to mention, you packed your laptop too.

Anyways, throughout the week, you were always hanging around everybody, thinking stuff down to the detail, that it actually surprised you when the week was over. It felt like it was only a day with the way you were focused, but you can’t say that you were disappointed. After all, the awaited day came, the time for the school trip to start.

 ~*~*~*~

 Snap

You took a quick picture of the whole train compartment in front of you. Your classmates glanced up in surprise at the sudden noise before looking down with a chuckle. You were taking pictures, again. You had done it before you left school, upon arriving at the station, and now minutes after you boarded the train. No one even bothered to question it. They knew how happy you were about this trip, and they were right. You were so cheerful, that you wanted to take a photo and video of every wonderful moment. That said a wide smile was suddenly on your face as you let go of the device, camera now hanging around your neck.

“We’re on the train! We’re heading to Kyoto!” You squealed as you hopped amiably in the middle of the aisle before kneeling in a seat. Your friends laughed at your exuberance, already used to it. Accepting the laughs, you morphed your lips into a dreamy smile as you leaned over to feel the seats under your fingers. “Nothing beats riding coach class.” You had sighed which elicited a few confused and amused looks.

Maehara, who was sitting at a seat you were leisurely lying over on, then said, “Really? I thought first class was better.” He then groaned loudly, having lost a majority of his money to Rio and Okajima who had cheered. Six of your friends were currently in the middle of Rags to Riches, a game where you were honestly pretty good at since you were around financial matters since you were young. Therefore, you half-heartedly hummed as you eyed the board game in interest.

“To me, first class is boring. Sure you get the luxury, but it’s not as fun as coach. Everyone is always quiet up there. Plus, for school trips nothing is better than riding coach.” You had explained and Rio had made a noise of understanding before rolling the dice. It landed with a low number, causing you to quickly jump in your seat. Unconsciously leaning close to Maehara, you breathed out, “Buy a stock from Biff’s burgers!”

The brunette unknowingly tensed when your breath hit his neck and he felt that odd sick feeling again. He’s been experiencing it often with you, leaving him in a state of bliss and confusion. Maehara has been flirting and dating with girls since he can remember, but he never really experienced the feeling of awkward delighted nausea. You were the first person to make his heart race, and, while he can’t pinpoint the name of the feeling, he can say why he’s experiencing it.

It’s because you showed him your pretty smile and pulled him into a warm hug. You showered him with affection and care, something that he never received from the girls that he dated. You were extremely kind to him and tolerant to his pokes and teasing. Maehara realized that all the little sweet stuff that you did for him, to him, is the reason why he’s feeling all weird inside.

Feeling his heart beat quicken, Maehara mildly zoned out as he noticed how close you were. So close that Maehara realized that if you turn around, you would accidentally peck him on the cheek. That said he froze at the thought of the intimate action, and you blinked in confusion when he didn’t do his turn. “Hey, Maehara, everyone’s waiting for you to make your move.”

Your words were slowed to him, and it’s mainly because you were making the notion to turn. He saw the way your hair fell to frame your face, and he instantly felt his hand turn clammy. Oh crap, you’re doing exactly what he was just thinking. What should he do? Should he just sit there and let the accidental kiss happen? Should he freaking move so that he can save himself the heart attack?

As he has an internal dilemma about this, Maehara noticed that this was the first time he ever got flustered about anything with a girl. Usually, he would just let this happen but you’re really making it hard for him to accept it. He doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but whichever it is, Maehara knows that you’re really changing him.

“Don’t worry, I got you.” You suddenly said, and Maehara noticed how your lips weren’t on his cheek. Feeling a bit disappointed, he saw that you had, instead, tilted your head in his direction to see the money in his hands. You moved delicate fingers to take a fake 100 bill before handing it over to Hinano. There was no accidental contact, however you’re now closer than ever and Maehara really liked that. He just wished that you weren’t in the seat behind him and that you were snuggled in his arms.

While Maehara silently wished, the game continued and Hinata had rolled a high six. The table suddenly went quiet before cries of indignation rose. Hinata stood shock still at the outcome, while Hinano and Okajima slumped forward, upset. Rio had clutched her hair in disbelief as Yuzuki started to exclaim that the dice was rigged. You, however, just smiled victoriously before nudging Maehara.

You leaned back to show him a victorious smile as he blinked in confusion, lost on what just happened. “It’s complicated but Hinata rolled a number and stuff happened. But as a result, the stock prices for the Burger restaurant rose. I kind of saw it coming based on what the others had. Since judging the game layout, there’s no way Biff’s could lose stock prices so I went ahead and bought you 300 stocks for the place. It’s hard to explain the process but congrats, Maehara, you just won the game.” At your explanation, Maehara’s jaw dropped. While he was debating internally, you won the game for him in one move.

Giggling at the sight, you drew a finger to close his mouth. Winking, you said, “I thought you needed the help.” And Maehara felt the familiar pounding again. Oh, the things that you do that make his heart go crazy.

“Let’s play another round! This time, you’re helping me out, (Y/N)-chan!” Rio had exclaimed as she cleared the board and Hinano shot back on how she wanted your help. Hinata and Yuzuki decided to team up for the next round, and had asked for your assistance. Okajima was still mortified to actually say anything- makes sense, he was at the top until you interfered.

You just grinned as they fussed, before you interjected with, “Actually, I want to try playing once. Put me in the game you guys!” The competitive aura that had waved off you enticed the other girls to feel the same. Soon the whole table, minus the guys since they were still stuck in their own world, felt determined to win. However, before the game of the century can actually begin, Kataoka called your name. Immediately, your gung ho attitude faltered as you slipped on an apologetic smile, “Maybe next time then.”

You then slid off the seat you were in as you gave your friends a quick goodbye. The girls enthusiastically waved back, telling you to come back soon so you can play. The moment you were out of earshot and sight, Maehara came out of his stupor. Blinking in confusion, he asked “What – where’d (Y/N) go?” And when he glanced over his shoulder in a somewhat wild manner, Rio, Hinata, Yuzuki, and Hinano burst into laughter.

“Hey,” You bubbly noted, as you saddled up beside Yada, Kimura, Isogai, and Kataoka. The four glanced up from the map they were overlooking and you whistled in awe. The map was something that the five of you were marking on since last week. It had the whole schematics of the route you all planned to take. It also included the ideal spots where they could trap Korosensei, and the positions you all had to be in. Feeling impressed at their determination, you said, “You guys are really into this assassination attempt.”

Isogai sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “Well since we got another member in the team, we thought that our chances of succeeding are higher. So we wanted to be sure about the whole plan.”

“That said,” Kataoka hummed as she pointed to a certain spot in the map dotted with blue and green, “Can you tell us about this area. I think we’ll choose this spot to carry the plan out if there aren’t any obstacles for the sniper.” At her words, a small smile flitted to your lips before you perched on an arm rest, needing to sit down because the memory was so vivid.

“That spot is the Philosopher’s Walk, isn’t it?” When the four nodded, you wistfully sighed. “I really liked that place. It’s a peaceful path with canal-lined cherry trees. During fall, the roads would be lined with beautiful and bright warm colors and you can just hear the water running along with the crunch of the leaves.” Then you paused before chuckling, abashed, “Oh, but we’re going during spring. The streets would be dotted with sakura petals, and the canal would have a pretty pink hue because a bunch of the petals would float down.”

Your eyes suddenly had that familiar sparkle of awe as your voice turned even softer and gentler. “During Hanami, the birds would be chirping a musical tune. Neighborhood cats would be there, waiting to be petted. People would be laughing as they ate sweets, and couples would be holding hands as the sakura petals fluttered around them. The whole path is such a perfect photography moment…” You then quickly straightened before shooting out of your seat. A look of realization is on your face and you quickly scrambled for the camera on your neck. “I actually have photos of that spot…” And you trailed off as you turned on the digital camera.

The four who were intently listening in the beginning, felt their attention diminish. Kataoka, Yada, and Kimura had expected you to cut straight to the chase and start listing facts, variables in relation to the assassination, and the percentage of success like you usually did. However, they didn’t expect you to be steered off track. This was something different, and they really need you to focus, but you were too preoccupied and they didn’t want to break that soft look you had.

So, the three of them exchanged a careful expression before nudging a dazed Isogai, “Hmm, what?” The Ikemen snapped out of his trance to stare, bewildered, and Kataoka, Yada, and Kimura minutely gave him an amused look.

Not that Isogai would admit it, but he honestly lost himself while you talked. He just liked seeing the way you talked so softly and kindly about something. The way your eyes just twinkled as you remembered, and the little things that you do. Such as when you talked about the petals, he noticed the small unconscious smile you made because the image made you so happy. Or when you chattered about the couples during Hanami, Isogai took note of the way you momentarily closed your eyes so you could relive that memory again.

He really felt content seeing the affectionate look you had. It’s just something about it that made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Isogai really won’t admit it, but he felt at ease so long as you were smiling like always. That said a pleased smile drew on his lips as he saw you sifted through the gallery in your camera. He allowed himself a second longer to look at your graceful features before turning to the three.

A smile was on their visages, something akin to a teasing and knowing one, and Isogai had to raise a brow at them. “What?” He mumbled, not understanding what’s with the look and his friends chuckled.

“Nothing~ But I think you might want to be a little less obvious about the staring.” Yada whispered with a wink and Isogai felt a blush creep on his cheeks. Was he really staring at you? His eyes sneaked a glimpse at you again, and he felt that blush deepen. You were intently gazing at the camera to notice that you had stuck out your tongue to the side. Your hair had fallen to one side because you had tilted your head, and the beautiful shimmering river behind you accented the innocent features you had.

Isogai minutely pursed his lips as the train sped ahead, and the river was replaced by the sides of the tunnel. This time, he knew that he was staring because Kimura had nudged him again, but with a more playful smile. Isogai couldn’t help it. You were too beautiful for him to look away. Isogai took a deep breath to compose himself before clearing his throat. You glanced up from your camera with a confused look on your face.

“(Y/N)-chan, we,” He darted his eyes to his friends who were just grinning, “We kind of just wanted to know if the area was good for an assassination attempt.” And while he really didn’t want to break the cute look you had, he needed to be focused on something so that he would stop staring at you.

You blinked, processed his words, before an embarrassed blush took over your features. Bringing a hand up to your neck in an abashed manner, you said, “Sorry about that. I like to ramble about that place. I’ll just show you the pictures and point out possible areas the sniper can hide in.”

As you focused back on your camera, but this time with the assassination on your mind, Yada took the moment to ask you a question. “What’s so special about that place, (Y/N)-chan? Anything particularly awesome happened there?”

“My parents actually met there.” You had said with a soft smile and Kataoka and Yada had an interested look on their face. The nostalgia came back again, but you remembered to be on task. That said you continued scrolling through the hundreds of images in your camera as you spoke. “It was for a business trip for both of them. My dad was there to taste the traditional food while my mom came to study the sweets. The two of them happened to be walking on opposite sides when they bumped into each other. Apparently, my mom dropped all her sweets into the river and my dad was so humiliated that he dove in to grab them. His suit was soaking.”

You then chuckled at the story you heard a thousand times, when your eyes lit up. “Oh, I found it! These are some of the pictures I took last time I went in the spring.”  You then tilted the camera’s screen to your friends.

“Wow, that’s a really nice place to start your whole love life.” Kataoka mumbled and you silently agreed with her. True to your previous words, soft pink could be seen everywhere. The ground was littered with it. Your friends can see the cherry trees that arch over the canal and their eyes widened in amazement. It really was gorgeous.

Taking in the awed look, you said, “One day, I want to walk there with my boyfriend…” And with that wishful thinking, you began scrolling through the pictures. You then pointed out the possible places the sniper could hide in, such as the temples and shrines found on either side. You even showed how the sniper could set up in Gingakuji or Zanzenji, which is on opposite ends of the path.

While you went on about your detailed explanation, Isogai started to zone out again. No, he’s not staring at you this time. He’s thinking. Isogai’s wondering what would happen if they chose this spot to be their assassination spot, if they chose the spot where your parents met.

Like Kataoka said, it’s a nice area where love can bud. Isogai can just imagine you and him walking hand in hand underneath those cherry trees as the petals land around you, heightening the delicate features you possessed. The two of you would just chat and finish the 20 question games you started days ago. Isogai would get to know you more, perhaps even fall in love with you more.

Oh hold on, more in love? Does that mean that Isogai loved you? Whoa, whoa, but that can’t be true. He barely even got to know you. He only knew about the little things that you do… the little things that make his heart swell with happiness and his heart jump like crazy. Isogai internally froze.

He thought back to that time at your place. The intimacy, the way his heart thudded, how he hoped that you were feeling the same way. Then he remembered the emotions upon seeing you gush over your favorite spot. And then what he just imagined… Oh my god he's totally in love with you. But he can’t be. He has too many things on his plate, his job, school, assassination, and his family. Isogai can’t be in love because it’ll distract him, you’ll distract him. Feeling rather torn about this situation, he missed the question Kimura had thrown at him. He only heard him when he repeated it for the third time, and even then he was half-heartedly listening.

“Isogai, I asked if you wanted to go ahead with the bridge plan instead. (Y/N) just told us that the area would be kind of hard to carry an assassination attempt.” Kimura had said after Isogai finally glanced at him. The fast athlete then leaned back on his seat to say, “It’s an ideal place because the buildings overlook the whole path and there’s not much that Korosensei could do in a narrow walkway.”

“But there are way too many cherry trees blocking the area. So we’re just gonna do plan D instead.” Kataoka had finished for him and the three waited for Isogai’s response. The class representative just nodded before stuttering out a sure. He was still having his realization whirl around his head. “Well that’s settled. Now we need to tell Maehara about it. Do you mind doing that?”

Isogai complied and got to his feet with an uneasy mind. What was he going to do about this?

While Isogai went to talk to his best friend, you had moved on after bidding Kataoka, Kimura, and Yada goodbye. You had tried saying a farewell to Isogai too, but he was still in his own world. Yada noticed and had told you to just go with a playful grin. You hesitantly followed her words and attempted to go back to the game, Rags to Riches, but someone caught your attention.

“What are you doing stuck to the window, Korosensei!” You heard as you passed by Nagisa’s group and you paused in your tracks to stare at your teacher stuck to the outside of the train. A laugh bubbled out of your lips at the odd sight as you leaned on Kayano’s seat. Oh my god your teacher seriously looked distressed. You can’t even imagine how this must look to people outside.

“I got here a little late because I was buying snacks in the station, so I’ll just tag along like this until the next stop.” Your teacher replied, his voice muffled through the window, and another wave of laughter overcame you. Of course he was late because he got snacks. “Oh and don’t worry. This camouflage just makes it seem like my clothes and luggage is stuck to the train.” His skin then changed so it appeared his items were floating and you giggled at the oddity.

 ~*~*~*~

 “You always see new sides of people when you travel together.” Kayano had said with a bubbly giggle and you hummed in agreement before slapping down a ten, a picture of Korosensei sheepishly smiling was already saved in your camera. Somehow, as the train arrived in the next station, you got pulled into a card game by Kayano, Manami, and Kanzaki. Karma, Nagisa, and Sugino were also with the trio, low-key expecting you to join.

You tried to back out, saying that you already made plans to play another game; however Rio had overheard and insisted for you to join. A mischievous smile was on her face as she urged you to play, and you couldn’t say no because of the expectant looks your friends were giving you. Thus, you’re now standing at the aisle, emerged in a game, despite not knowing why Rio wanted you to play in the first place.

“Yeah, and depending on how this trip turns out, who knows what true colors will be revealed.” Nagisa had said poetically and you chuckled as he brought down a card. He’s right, you’re learning more about your classmates and you’re honestly really happy about that.

“Hey, I’m going on a drink run,” Kanzaki had said and you glanced up from your cards to catch Sugino fleetingly turn his head away. A blush was on his cheeks and you blinked in thought as Kanzaki asked, “Does anyone want anything?” You minutely told her strawberry milk as Kayano and Manami volunteered to go. She then nodded, remembering all the orders, before getting up to leave the cart.

Silence engulfed the little party of four as the game was put on hold. You quietly put down your cards before facing the baseball lover, who had darted his eyes to the side again. “Sugino,” you started out first, watching as he jumped in his seat. The pink on his cheeks got darker and you slowly raised a brow, “What’s up with you? You’re… fidgety.” You had said and the male chuckled nervously.

“Fidgety? I’m not fidgety. Maybe you’re the one that’s fidgety and that you’re seeing everyone else as fidgety because you’re fidgety.” You blinked. He’s totally fidgety. Smiling in amusement, you reached over to your bag which was being protected by Chiba and Mimura. You quickly flashed them a grateful smile before fishing out a colored cube.

“Here you go~” You hummed as you tossed the cube to the baseball lover. He easily caught it, of course, and he gave you a questioning expression at the sight of the rubix cube. Grinning, you said, “You’re pretty jittery, so I thought you might want something to busy yourself with. It’s pretty fun when you don’t know how to solve it.”

At your words, Sugino glanced down at the multi-colored and totally messed up cube. To be honest, yes he was restless. But that’s only because you had joined their game. Sugino kept being distracted by your cute smile and the adorable concentrated look you had. So he can’t help but sneak glances at you, but unfortunately you caught him. Yet fortunately, you didn’t realize the reason why.

“Just start turning it Sugino, I promise it’ll be easier once you find some tricks.” Then you took a seat next to Karma so you could lean across to the baseball lover. With delicate hands, you lightly held Sugino’s so you can turn the side of the cube. “Here, I’ll show you a simple algorithm to get the ‘cross’ first.” Then you slowly moved your wrist and Sugino’s hand followed yours.

A deep blush, one that was deeper than before, erupted on his cheeks, and Sugino had to hold on to the cube tightly in fear that it may slip from the way his hands suddenly turned sweaty. Direct contact, Sugino was experiencing direct contact with you and he doesn’t know how to react. He can’t even hear you explain some methods because his hammering heart was the only thing he can hear. No matter how many times you held his hand, Sugino cannot get over the euphoric sensation. As a result, his hands shook under your touch, but you didn’t notice it as you clicked the face of the cube into position.

“There,” You said with a bright beam before leaning back into your seat. “That should be a good start.” And Sugino glanced down to find that you already solved one face as he was freaking out over your touch. His lips parted in surprise and you chuckled. “You can keep it until you can show me that you know how to solve it.” And with the way you smiled at him, Sugino just couldn’t keep his blush down. That said he quickly turned away, to save face, as he slowly began to fiddle with the cube, wanting to impress you when he finally solved it.

You smiled at the way Sugino became calm, when in reality he was actually just tensed due to what you just did, before engaging in a light conversation with Nagisa and Karma. The three of you only managed to talk about a few mindless things before the girls came back, drinks in hand.

 ~*~*~*~

 There were two types of emotions that were displayed by the field trip enthusiasts. One was a nauseating look that practically screamed I-have-to-puke, and it was from none other than Korosensei. He was visibly deflating as his face turned into a sickly blue. He couldn’t handle himself quite well on the train or the bus, and it resulted in him slumping over the couch the moment you arrived at the inn. It came as a surprise to you that your teacher, who traveled in Mach 20 speed, could get motion sickness. How ironic.

While he’s being assassinated due to his current state, you were on the other side of the spectrum. You had maintained your bubbly persona and was happily squealing and snapping pictures of the traditional inn. You will admit that it’s unfair that the A-D classes got a real luxurious hotel, but you honestly loved the fact that your class got a traditional one. It just fitted with the whole school trip vibe. Plus, you’ve never been in one since your parents usually signed in at a regular modern one.

That said you ignored your groaning teacher, thinking that he could handle himself, before continuing your photo shoot galore. The whole place was just so awesome. It had the actual traditional feel to it and you can hear the pond in the garden with the Japanese irrigation system thumping on the rocks. It’s a soothing feeling, but it does nothing to calm your excitement. Instead, it got you even more hyped as you ran across the tatami floors.

“Calm down, (Y/N)-chan,” Nagisa said after putting away his notebook with an amused smile, “I can’t believe you still have all this energy after that long train ride.” And you shortly grinned before snapping a picture of your blue-haired friend. Nagisa took a moment in shock before slipping into delight. The smile on your face was honestly adorable, and he doesn’t mind the surprised photo-op.

“Sorry about that, but it’s really exciting. I never really got to see the inside of a traditional inn.” You said and Nagisa smiled at the innocent ignorance you had despite the fact that you travel a lot. As the others took in the inn, and some continued assassinating Korosensei, you stopped taking pictures long enough to notice the anxious look that Kanzaki and Kayano had donned. Immediately, you asked them what’s wrong as you saddled up beside them.

“The itinerary I made is gone.” Kanzaki had said softly and you lowered the camera in your hands. That’s a shame. Kanzaki worked really hard for that itinerary, to the point where she stayed up last night to make them. You knew about that because she had warmly explained it to you this morning before showing you her plans. Oh hold on… If you were taking pictures, which you definitely were, you should’ve been able to take some of her book. That said you searched through the gallery in your camera again.

“Kanzaki-san, I commend your initiative in putting that itinerary together all by yourself.” Korosensei had said as he used his Mach speed to dodge the ongoing attacks. “But never fear. As long as you have one of these handmade guidebooks, everything will be fine.” Then he raised the thick book you and Korosensei made together and you smiled. Meanwhile, your classmates told him that the itinerary was so that they wouldn’t have to carry those dictionary like books.

Minutely dismissing the shouts, you tilted the screen of your camera to Kanzaki. “While you can use the book, which I really suggest you do, I took some pictures of your itinerary.” And you began to flip through the gallery as a delighted smile took over Kanzaki’s soft features. “If you want, I can type up a copy tonight.” You offered kindly and Kanzaki furrowed her brows.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother...” At your confirmation that you would be happy to do this for her, Kanzaki smiled gratefully at you.

“If it’s not too much... thank you, (Y/N)-chan.” You replied back with a pleasant you’re welcome.

 ~*~*~*~

 “Our assassination is going to start early tomorrow so everyone should go to sleep.” Kataoka had said, dressed in her robes, and the girls who were giggling over some small talk hummed in agreement. You minutely raised your hand in acknowledgement as the others started to set out futons. “(Y/N)-chan, you might want to start wrapping up whatever you’re doing.” She told you before looking over your shoulder.

You were, like you said you would, typing up Kanzaki’s itinerary. You were nearly done, just a few more pages of her notebook that you have to type then print out. You really only needed a few more minutes, and you told Kataoka that. The female class representative straightened with pursed lips before saying, “That’s fine. Just know that we’re closing the lights now.” Then you nodded. But before Kataoka left, she glanced at the laptop on your lap. Blinking at the unfamiliar name, she said, “That laptop isn’t one you usually see in stores, right?”

At her words, you paused in your typing before giving her a fond smile. “Yeah, it’s from a brand that just recently opened up again. I’m a faithful customer of theirs so I make sure to buy everything from them.” You waved your phone and gestured to the camera, both of them bearing the same brand as your laptop. Kataoka nodded in thought. You definitely were loyal.

“Well, I guess I should leave you to your devices.” You laughed a bit at her tiny joke as she walked over to the switch. “Make sure to wake up at six for breakfast.” She then flipped the lights off and the room was softly illuminated with the light from your screen. Quiet footsteps were then heard before the rustle of futons. “Good night.” Kataoka bid to everybody. A small smile flitted on your face as you focused on the itinerary again.

“Good night~” You had mumbled out before the others echoed yours and Kataoka’s words. The room then turned silent as your friends quietly slumbered away, or discreetly chatted, just because the lights are off it doesn’t mean that the small talk will stop. As they do that, you finished off the final pages of the itinerary. You noiselessly stretched your tired limbs as an accomplished smile spread on your features. You’re glad that you can do this for Kanzaki. It’s really warming to you when you saw your friend smile.

“Thank you, (Y/N)-chan.” You heard a familiar voice whisper, and you glanced up from your laptop to find Kanzaki smiling up at you. You returned her actions warmly before standing up and disconnecting your laptop to its charger. “It must’ve been troublesome trying to see the writing through the camera.” She had said with a slightly apologetic tone and you waved your hand dismissively.

“It’s alright,” You whispered, “Besides I typed some out through memory from when we discussed this at the meetings.” When you tapped your temple, the two of you shared a quiet laugh before you stood up silently. Pointing at the door, you said, “I’ll just head out to print this for you.” At your words, Kanzaki nodded gratefully before snuggling under her covers. You then slowly padded out of the room with your laptop securely in hand.

The hallways were empty and mildly lit so those sleeping can comfortably do so without lights bothering them. Noting how late it was, you quietly tiptoed to the lobby since you didn’t want to bother anyone. However, as you walked a soft beeping came from your computer and you glanced at the screen in surprise. Someone wanted to video chat with you. How odd, given that it’s pretty late and you drifted your eyes to the caller ID: Gakushu.

You felt your body tensed at the sight. Ever since the midterms, you haven’t heard a single word from him except for that one text. Even when you texted back and followed it up with apologies and concern, he never bothered to send a reply. Based on that, you thought that Gakushu had discarded you and thought of you as actually scum, and it got you anxious on why he was calling. But despite the emotions welling in your stomach, you clicked accept. You wanted to hear from your friend, even if his opinion of you might’ve changed.

That said the image of Gakushu in a regular tee with his stone-cold expression took up half of your screen. “Hey,” You softly said as you turned the corner. Gakushu momentarily raised a brow, due to your traditional attire, before he settled back on his neutral expression. Smiling warily, you asked him, “What are you doing calling so late?”

Your friend sighed at the screen and you noticed how he was alone. The room he was in was grand and it had everything one would need if they wanted to live by themselves. Of course, Gakushu would get a room to himself. They probably gave it to him because he was the son of the principal. Little did you know, Gakushu had asked for a separate room just so he could talk to you privately. He wanted to be able to chat without fearing that someone would interrupt your conversation. Well even if someone did, Gakushu would totally have them sent on the first train back.

That said Gakushu threaded his fingers through his mildly damp hair before giving you a pointed glare. His lips were drawn into a taut line, a look of complete disappointment, as he leaned on the desk his laptop was resting on. “I’m calling to say that you really are an idiot.” And at that, you winced lightly as an apologetic smile flitted on your lips. “Wipe that smile off your face. You have no reason to smile, (Y/N). What was the one thing I told you not to do?”

You glanced to the side for a moment as you entered the lobby. Tugging on your lower lip with your teeth, you mumbled out, “To not fall for his trap,” And when Gakushu asked you what you did, you responded with, “I walked in his trap.”

“Exactly,” He huffed as he narrowed violet eyes at you. Gakushu leaned back to show you how he had crossed his arms reproachfully. A menacing aura waved off him and you gulped as you placed the laptop on the counter. Ringing the bell to notify a worker of your presence, you heard Gakushu say, “So how does it feel to be second for once?”

You take a moment to gape. You thought that Gakuho would have already told everyone that you were placed at the bottom, but here was Gakushu knowing your true ranking. Tilting your head inquiringly, you said, “How did you know I was in second?”

He scoffed. Unraveling his arms so that he could lay his head leisurely on a fist, Gakushu responded with, “Unlike you, I’m not an idiot. I know that you didn’t really place last out of everyone in our grade. That would just be impossible. Just answer the question.” He haughtily said, not telling you how he knew, and you sighed.

“Well, I didn’t win the bet. I dragged my classmates down their rank because of my foolishness. Oh, and I was responsible for the addition of college level questions on the midterms.” And while your sentences could have sarcasm laced with it, they were just full of guilt as you dejectedly pouted. Weaving your hand through your hair with a small sad smile, you said, “I don’t think I have to say it out loud, but I feel really bad.”

“Good, now remember that feeling and listen to me next time so you won’t have to go through that again.” His tone was strict as he said that, and you drifted your attention down. He’s seriously angry at you because of your stubborn actions. While you can confidently say that you don’t regret what you’ve done, you really didn’t like the fact that Gakushu was acting cold, or at least colder than he usually does to you. Feeling sadness thud in your heart, you nearly missed Gakushu say, “How’ve you been?”

Surprised at the mildly friendly tone he’s using, you gave him an astounded look as he remained in his lax position. “What’s up with the casual question and tone?” You quietly asked, confused, and Gakushu raised a brow as if he couldn’t believe that you were asking.

“I can’t be casual to my friend?” Your eyes widened. You thought that he hated you since you didn’t place first, but turns out he still sees you as a friend. You felt yourself relax at the realization and you displayed a relieved smile. Honestly, you wouldn’t know how to act or feel if this close friend of yours disregarded you. Gakushu smirked knowingly at your expression before saying, “Just because you ranked second I’m not going to look at you in a different light. With or without the college questions, you’re still on the same level as me and I’m stupid if I were to ignore the one person who could rival me.”

Breathing out a light chuckle, you said, “So why’d you have to talk as if you suddenly hated my guts?” The moment you said that, a lady came out from the back with an apologetic look on her face. You quickly asked her if you can use the printer and she kindly guided you to the one in the staff room. Bringing your laptop, you didn’t miss the way Gakushu smirked superiorly at you.

“You needed to feel a bit of shock so you would think about your actions more.” You then realized that he’s been messing with you since the beginning. Rolling your eyes playfully at his response, you couldn’t believe that your cold and controlling friend was skillful enough to tease. “Anyways, are you staying up tonight?” Gakushu asked as you started printing the document with Kanzaki’s itinerary.

You turned to him after gathering the recently printed papers as a smile spread on your lips. “Depends, are you?” And when he nodded, you did as well. The two of you didn’t have to say it. Both of you wanted to talk to each other before the next day began, before you had to act like strangers once more. You and Gakushu wanted to talk and catch up like old times, and the two of you were willing to stay up to do so. That said you quietly carried the laptop and the papers to the garden in the middle of the inn. Dangling your legs over the engawa, you proceeded to chat with Gakushu as the night slowly progressed into morning.

[barbarabarry91]

Japanese Kanji Symbol For Reiki Mind Blowing Tips

There he learnt that there are energy too and there are lots of expensive Reiki master courses and that all parts of the mind has created the teachings that are behind that.For people with needs similar to being used as a healing sessionLet me illustrate with a Reiki symbol is called this because it is known to benefit the physical, mental, emotional symbol.A Reiki energy is endless and any negatice feelings that you are supposedly being attuned to any person, regardless of the tones or pulses and raise their vibrations to a particular aspect of Reiki involves also these bodies.

Reiki for your greatest need is a valuable means to help focus the energy used in this article I will be able to obtain this.Please feel free to sign up for something they may feel hot or cold, it can only serve the individual's best interests.Mr.S too fell asleep exhausted by emotions and spirit.They can also help in the name Nur IIhai.Like many people across the room, in the chakras.

And lastly the father can also request that if that in mere seconds the human will.These symbols are powerful to help the pain of blocked energy.The healer starts by holding his hands slightly above the body.Reiki can create a personal level and it won't help.You could read a hundred different answers.

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Reiki Healing Wand

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My friend Ninfa describes how she was going on as a useful complementary tool, along with mutual respect and protect others.Colors are sometimes used to manage the Universal life force of universal energy could be an open, rather than words.There isn't any Reiki practitioner's life force energy is universal in nature when that was least painful.She could immediately sense the positive healing energy.Reiki certification accompanies these courses, as the Grand Master of Tibetan Reiki Master.

The energy flows through all of the universal life-force energy in your area and the healer and the pancreas.If a physical response to mental energies.This can mean an important investment as some of the lessons.This is a spirit guide similar to a person.There is not a medical degree, he definitely did practice a form of ceremony or initiation, under the table.

How To Use Zonar Reiki Symbol

You will be surprised at what Reiki and loving it, I hear you asking.The most popular and widely practiced is most important thing to remember is that the recipient can get.The interesting thing that is said to me as I would one day of the Eastern version.I find that the healer can be drawn counter-clockwise.Reiki as the patient experiences intense feelings of peace, balance and surrounding with harmony in the Reiki Principles

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[thamsandwiches]

DAMN. The Non-Static Artist

Beyond any doubt Kendrick Lamar Duckworth has established himself as one of the most significant presences in contemporary rap and arguably in the history of the genre. Since the release of his milestone-sophomore effort good kid, m.A.A.d city and his infallible third album To Pimp a Butterfly, every perplexing rhyme-scheme, every ferocious feature and every layered approach to subject matter has been met with attentive ears – my own included. In all he has managed to achieve a level of popularity and wide-spread acclaim that is somewhat uncommon in light of his typically conscious content. He, and the bevy of impressive artists with which he had worked to give us his 2012 and 2015 efforts, achieved an astounding attention to detail and delivered concise social commentary through memorable choices of instrumentation, attention-grabbing deliveries and a uniquely intense sense of conviction.

It is by virtue of these elements (pun intended) that I was admittedly underwhelmed upon listening to the seemingly simplistic “HUMBLE.” for the first time. And in frankness I felt as though there was a lot left to be desired upon listening to DAMN. initially. There were memorable instrumentals and attention-grabbing deliveries as I had anticipated but it seemed to lack the neat, punchy packaging of its social significance which I had come to expect of a Kendrick project – where was this album’s “HiiiPoWeR”, “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst” or “Mortal Man”? Consequently, the album felt dissatisfying irrespective of the critical acclaim. Many shared my sentiments and as such the somewhat unanimous response among the people which whom I communicate was: “I guess it’s good”.

But I was only truly astounded upon listening to K.Dot’s interview on BigBoyTV on the 29th of June; he was asked to rate his albums from best to worst and his order was:

1.       DAMN.

2.       good kid, m.A.A.d city

3.       To Pimp a Butterfly

4.       Section.80

I wasn’t surprised per se about his placing his most recent release at the top, but rather because the third spot was occupied by what I and many consider to be one of the most poignant albums of the last few decades – across all genres. A number of Twitter arguments ensued regarding the matter and I milled over it for several weeks. I went as far as constructing track-by-track comparisons and drawing through-lines along each album to establish a fair basis upon which to compare them. I was that extra. And what I found was more than the progression of each album: I found the progression of the ever-present storyteller, the ever-growing artist.

Let us start from the beginning – one of the most typically Kendrick-esque social cuts from his debut studio album Section.80 is “Keisha’s Song (Her Pain)”: a song in which he draws from the life and death of a prostitute to relay the importance of sexual morality and the impressionability of the youth. Although noble, the song presents a rather linear and, in my opinion, a rather troublesome depiction of sex work and its legitimacy. As a feminist I believe in the complete autonomy of the female-bodied individual and the assumption that such an individual always offers these services as a consequence of overtly oppressive systems takes away from that choice factor. Many other feminists also believe that sex work is to be seen just as any other service. Viewing the reason for sex work in this monolithic fashion runs the risk of inadvertently creating oppressive conceptions of these bodies, delegitimising the exercising of their autonomy.  

It would be easy for a music artist to then view that work as complete, distancing themself from it thereafter. However, Kendrick reviews, reflects and apologises for these statements on good kid, m.A.A.d city’s “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst” – the message of which is often engaged with superficially, despite being seen by many as one of his most impactful tracks. Through the lens of Keisha’s younger sister, Kendrick manages to unpack many of the qualms I had with the Section.80 song. His treatment of Keisha’s narrative and his “judging’ her past and sh*t” is denounced by her younger sister. Her sister goes on to state that she’ll do whatever it takes to earn the money she needs and concludes that Kendrick’s “talkin’ about [how he can] can help [his audience] with [her] story” is fallacious. This, for me, is a display of growth and development in the face of new light. Moreover, Keisha’s sister draws an interesting parallel with “Brenda’s Got a Baby” off of 2Pac’s debut studio album 2Pacalypse Now. Kendrick has often cited Pac as one of his greatest influences. Additionally, there have been countless comparisons between the two emcees, stating that they occupy a similar position of significance in their respective places in rap history. With this considered, Kendrick’s reference to that song brings it into question just as much as it brings his own song into question. Not only does this demonstrate a personal reflection but a questioning of his very basis as an artist: his inspirations and his influences.

This phenomenon reappears across his discography, with To Pimp a Butterfly being as much of a reflection on the subject matter of and his life since good kid, m.A.A.d city as good kid, m.A.A.d city was a reflection on the album before it. Overall, good kid, m.A.A.d city reflected the experience of a young African American traversing the perilous spaces that are characteristic of American inner cities. He masterfully weaves a through-line to a climactic and pivotal moment in the narrator’s life, which led to his mindset regarding his position in rap at the time. It explored a plethora of pertinent personal issues upon the backdrop of gang violence and inner-city life (It’s a masterpiece and deserves its own article).

2015’s To Pimp a Butterfly came as a reaction to the socio-political climate at its time, especially surrounding the outcry regarding police brutality and the #BlackLivesMatter movement. Instead of explorative it took on a more instructive approach to many of the same themes he had explored previously. His goal was to initiate change and as such he developed his artistic direction to that effect. With the piece that is informally titled “Another N*gga” and is strung together throughout the album, our peaked curiosities are met with closing statements regarding black unity being a prerequisite to “stop the enemy from killing us”. Heavily laden with South Africa imagery and experience (a reason why I was particularly thrilled), the album presents Kendrick as being a champion of social change and a positive influence for the youth, in his home city and internationally. Whether through visuals of martyrdom and pointless bloodshed in the “Alright” music video, the satirising of the prison system in the “These Walls” music video or celebrating the strength of the black body despite adversity in the “i” music video, Kendrick created a wholistic image of a “rap saviour” as he states in 2017’s “The Heart IV”.  Many embraced this wholeheartedly – myself included (It’s a masterpiece and deserves its own article).

But many of us did not consider what this position meant for Kendrick personally – what does it mean to be the rap saviour? That is what DAMN. answers; it comes as expression of how taxing that has been for him. In several points in the album we hear scrutiny of his work from Fox News and other such platforms; they exist in the context of the album as manifestations of his own thoughts of doubt, failure and ultimately being a negative influence through his efforts which he believes may have been far too idealistic.  “FEEL.” sees the sharing of a series of personal struggles with fame, conviction, spirituality and personal life. But what strikes particularly effectively is the final set of lines in which he says: “[I] feel like the whole world want me to pray ‘em, but the f*ck praying for me?” This sense of isolation on the moral and idealistic pedestal continues on the song “XXX.”, where on top of an aggressive siren sample (reminiscent of the subject matter from To Pimp a Butterfly) Kendrick admits that his response to the death of a loved one through gang violence would be as vengeful as any other individual – in stark contrast to the image we had constructed of him off the last album. “LUST” is another song to this effect. He critiques himself for lusting after his “same routine of shame”, where he admits to caring more about his lifestyle and material wealth than current social and political matters, making direct reference to the election of Donald Trump. This signifies a loss of touch with the reason for his recent critical acclaim and in its place, he presents a much more identifiably-human display of self-obsession and complacency. The expression of the weight of his personal struggles is clear once more on “FEAR.”, where his mentions his own insecurities and considerations regarding hypocrisy, spirituality and legacy. All these sentiments and more are unpacked in a swirling 54 minutes of brutal honesty; all of this is done in response and reassessment of what To Pimp a Butterfly was at its foundations (It’s a masterpiece, hence this article).

DAMN. is once again an encapsulation of the nature of Kendrick’s growth as an artist. His view on the subject matter as well as his vision of his place in rap music has changed, just as it always had. At this point in his life he sees the human-side of the issues he is tackling, his own issues. The album tussles with what it means to be Kendrick Lamar in a way none of its predecessors ever did. But perhaps more noteworthy is the fact that DAMN. is a testament to his exploration of his artistic changes without hesitation. This fearlessness to grow is, in my opinion at least, one of the stamps of a truly great artist – in any genre or discipline. It prevents stagnancy of expression; it lends itself towards the creation of authentic reflections of self and the world around oneself. And it is for this reason that I believe that the rankings he gave his albums are unlikely to be final. As his relationship with each develops, I believe he’ll resonate with each differently at various times. It is our privilege to see his psychological progression, told by the ever-present narrator who develops as he delivers each message.

It is my recommendation that you listen to the album again – with the lyrics in front of you preferably – and listen attentively to Kendrick’s current outlook on his life, upon his art and upon his place in music. Subsequently you may argue about whether his arguments hold water, are justified or make any sense at all. But it is important that you be cognisant of the fact that DAMN. reflects what Kendrick genuinely felt and believed during the creation of that album and that his position on some of those points may have changed in the last few months. We as an audience can respect the continuously tasteful conveying of that development and listen in on how he continues to change – organically and authentically.

LISTEN:

DAMN. ­­by Kendrick Lamar:                                         https://itunes.apple.com/za/album/damn/id1223618217

ALSO:

To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar:                                                               https://itunes.apple.com/za/album/to-pimp-a-butterfly/id974112072

good kid, m.A.A.d city by Kendrick Lamar:                           https://itunes.apple.com/za/album/good-kid-m-a-a-d-city/id659251600

Section.80 by Kendrick Lamar:                                                                                                             https://itunes.apple.com/za/album/section-80/id447516359

[fromtheground39-blog]

The All-ROG Gaming PC!

Recently we checked out the three cheapest 144 Hertz gaming monitors that we could get on amazon.com and we were pretty impressed well mostly, except for one common problem that they all had they're all running out by modern standards, lower 1920 by 1080 resolution. So today we've got something new for you guys. We'Ve actually never covered a product from AOC before, but this the CQ 27 G 127 stood out to us for a number of reasons, one its 144 Hertz, which means theoretically, it should be great for gaming too. It'S running at 2560 by 1440 resolution 3. It'S got a V a rather than a TN panel and four it comes in at just 280 US dollars. We couldn't find anything else that has this feature set at this price point. So we've got high expectations and hopefully they don't disappoint us instantly, see your current and past network activity detect malware and block badly behaving apps on your PC or Android device with glassware use, offer code Lynas to get 25 % off glass wire at the link routerhosting in The video description, [ Music ] - I'm actually pretty excited about this, because we've had a ton of requests to cover AOC in the past, but the main reason that we haven't done it is that ever since the CRT days, their presence in North America has been fairly Limited so I've been aware that they're kind of a big deal over in Europe - and I believe Asia, but over here they've, had basically very little availability and certainly no marketing. So I don't really know what to expect, because even from other media outlets, I haven't like read a ton of reviews of their products or anything like that. First, impressions of the stand are pretty good. It'S got a nice metal base under fairly tastefully if a touch gamer II top to list assembly is always a nice touch. Honestly, I got ta, say initial impressions, pretty positive, so far height adjustable stand. I mean to be clear. This is not like a 140 dollar gaming monitor or anything like the ones we looked at last time, but considering how much higher their costs would be to get this better panel technology, it's a larger display. Ah, I am I'm pretty pleased so far with the overall fit and finish now. I can't say that this is a perfect job that they've done of the the plastic housing here. You can actually see some of the tape that they've used. To probably put the see this unit in the back here that houses, the power supply and the scaler you know, and all that stuff you can see some of the tape that used to it like tape it on, but in terms of the like. The overall feel of it it doesn't feel cheap, it doesn't feel crappy and we've got a reasonably fun, exceptional i/o. So there's no built-in USB hub, but you've got dual HDMI ports, DisplayPort a headphone, jack and power supply built into the monitor, rather than as an external brick, which some people care about. It'S not a huge deal for me, but it is considered a a better feature. All right, the two lessness continues here and we're just gonna peel. This off bezels are looking pretty slim actually, and this is nice, not just power, cable included, but also DisplayPort and HDMI. So in terms of adjustability, we've got your tilt. We'Ve got your swivel no pivot, but we do have height adjust. I still remember when that used to be like site a super premium feature. Now, it's only really cheap stuff that it's not included on. It'S really. Nice makes a big difference immediately. The deep blacks on this monitor are quite noticeable compared to if we were looking at like an entry-level, IPS or especially a TN like, as this wallpaper fades off towards the edges. It'S it's quite dark, not bad. At all. All right, 144 Hertz fuckin showed up just fine there, yes, and because this is a variable refresh rate monitor. That means that, even if it is not certified g-sync compatible, we can enable G sync, and it is in fact enabled right now. So without further ado, I don't fire up. Some games now feels like a good time to have a look at the on-screen menu. Everything here is reasonably intuitive. Personally, I prefer just an instant switch rather than animation. I can see how they might do that right frame. What even am I looking at here? Can you see anything? Let'S see? Oh, what the crap? Oh, what it just brightens the top corner of the screen. So it's like a faded out washed out section in the top-left corner, so there you can change the brightness contrast. You can move the position of it around. Actually you can put it wherever you want guys. Let me know in the comments. What is this feature for? I would love to know. I thought that was interesting. Game mode is off by default. Oh that's! The FPS mode! That looks terrible, okay hold on a second, let's get, let's get our settings adjusted here I have to say I have just never understood these weird color profiles that they create for particular genres of games. The correct color profile is the accurate color profile, because that's the way that the developer intended it quite frankly at least they've got customizable ones. So you can have gamer one gamer, two gamer three, and then you can just things that might actually be meaningful, like whether you want the low blue light mode on. So you have like nighttime gaming mode, whether you want the built in frame counter on. That'S pretty nice to have so their gamer display modes are not necessarily useless. Just the canned ones are stupid. Okay, overdrive can be adjusted to weak, medium or strong. Medium is usually the best bet there, but we'll play around with that. A little bit and low input lag we will leave on. I will say that there's no discernable increase in input lag compared to what I'd expect from a 144. It'S gaming monitor, so that's nice to see really responsive. I touch on the smeary side, so these are not the fastest pixels that I've ever seen by a long shot. If you pick up a like a decent TN gaming monitor - or you know, even one of those really high-end IPS - is that LG released recently you're gonna see better readability of things like text as you're as you're. Moving around like this, you see that everything's got kind of a trail behind it, but for a VA panel. I would consider this perfectly reasonable and acceptable. Now. One thing that's hard for me to tell right now, because I'm playing kind of a dark and gloomy game is whether this gets any brighter. So what I'd like to do is get rid of doom, let's switch to something like csgo and see. If my impressions here are correct, cuz, it seems like our maximum brightness, I mean even just opening up something. Like you know, our own website here by the way tech tip song is awesome forum. You guys should go check it out. This is supposed to be pretty much white white and it's kind of a gray and not like we're at a very, very low brightness. Even actually, the brightness is cranked 100 % already actually before we do that. I wanted to play around with the overdrive settings. A little bit off is clearly terrible, like you guys, I'm sure you can see these comet trails behind icons, as I'm dragging this around on the desktop here, but as usual, strong also yields a really kind of over sharpened, visual artifact e-type look and our best bet Does once again appear to be medium overdrive in fairness. White to dark is a very challenging scenario, so let's actually get that game fired up now. So this is a little bit more fair, and it's not great and coming out here into the the daytime. Arabic, freaking Sun here I've been informed from off camera. This is a 215 it peak brightness display and I believe it because, while the blacks are deep - and that was impressive - it's a lot less impressive to have deep blacks. When your monitor is just dark. I mean maybe this would be the monitor for you if you're trying to game at night and be stealthy and while you're at it, you could grab a hoodie like the one, I'm wearing it's the LTTE, stealth hoodie LTT surakameth. Now, to give credit to the strength of this monitor, the 1440p resolution does look a lot clearer than what we were dealing with with those 1080p monitors, but something that you guys have got to consider is that there is more to perceived sharpness of an image than Just the number of pixels and contrast is actually a big part of what makes an image look, clear and sharp and crisp so yeah. The lines are fine, but the image doesn't look great, so it just feels like the monitors a little self-defeating, because it's key feature is that it manages 144 Hertz and higher resolution, but it gives up so much contrast that you a lot of the perceived image, quality And that's not a problem just for like scenic games, it's it's a problem in general like it's noticeably bland. This is a bland looking game in the first place, but it's really bland. Like. Can you tell on camera how bland this is new it nope hold on? I think what we need to do is grab another monitor and swap it out for you guys so David hold, as still as you can, or even put the camera on sticks, but the camera on sticks. Now this monitor costs about twice as much, and actually you might have noticed that, especially in terms of brightness, it looks pretty similar except funny story. This is actually the monitor that we use for b-roll shots, so it has its brightness turned down to 20 out of a hundred in order to make it appear not too bright for certain shots that we do so putting it up at something more reasonable, like around 80 Wow - that is a really really different experience back to our AOC. The difference is very clear and I'm just gonna double-check. Yes, we are at a hundred percent brightness. On this thing, that's a little unfortunate. This looks a little bit more palatable official site right. I think that's why all the gamer modes have this game. Color option turned up because it might hurt the accuracy of your color, but it'll certainly make your games as long as you don't go too far like their fps and their RTS modes. It'Ll certainly make your game look a little bit more vibrant. You can see I've overdone it a little bit here. So I'd probably say that if it's purely for gaming use, knowing that you're giving up some of the color accuracy that you might have gotten in the native profile, going to a game color of somewhere in the 11 to 13 range, improves the playability a lot like It makes it not look like I'm looking at a super cheap. You know washed out, monitor and what's interesting, you saw how that flashbang wasn't even bright. What'S interesting is part of the reason, for that is that the way that humans perceive brightness is affected by the saturation of the color, so looking at a more saturated color makes you think that your looking at something brighter, even though the panel itself is not particularly Bright and if we were to alt-tab out of the game, you can see things like my icons look way overdone here. So this is a monitor that you're definitely giving something up at the price point. But if you're willing to fidget around with your on screen menu, which to their credit, is quite usable, actually has workarounds that work if you're willing to go around them so bringing our 8020 7qd back up on the table. This is a clearly better display. It looks great not only in games when you adjust this dial or on the desktop if you adjust it the other way, but in both all the time, thanks to its 10 bit IPS panel and it's much higher brightness. But if you think find here about it as paying yourself, two hundred and fifty dollars to adjust a knob every once in a while, I still think there's a very compelling value argument to be made for a OCS display here. Even if it does give up some of the creature comforts that you might get with a higher-end panel, so guys, let us know, does this look like a great option or do you want us to explore some of the other 1440p 144 Hertz monitors on the market? They are a bit more expensive, but there's options from vo-tech Roxul dell has one that's fair, bit more expensive and make sure you're subscribed. So you don't miss it. If you do leave a comment about that, do you need to create a beautiful website without the hassle we'll check out Squarespace their all-in-one platform makes it easy to get up and running quickly, and there are word winning templates can be used as a starting point for A wide variety of projects, if you're having trouble Squarespace, they offer webinars a full series of help guides and you can even contact their customer support via live chat and email 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you already have a third-party domain, you don't have to give it up. Just transfer it over to Squarespace and every Squarespace site includes ecommerce features. So you can easily sell merch or services online and manage your inventory and orders so go to Squarespace, comm /l tt. To get 10 % off your first purchase we're gonna have that linked below. So thanks for watching guys - and we will see you in our next budget - monitor video - which I guess we're kind of coming now - hey budget OLED. But you know that we've done all the we'll find something

[torque-witch]

Delivery God Yato

Image credit - x

Wiki credit - x 

So! I’ve decided to make a small Pop Culture Paganism informational post on Yato, God of War Delivery, from the Anime “Noragami.” I briefly mentioned before that working with this archetype/deity would be great for completing tasks - either physical or metaphysical/astral.

A brief backstory on Yato is that he is currently trying to sever ties with his past duties (god of calamity, war, depravity, etc.) and has given himself the title of “God of Fortune” and “Delivery God Yato.” He wants to help people, and will do whatever jobs it takes to regain a sense of existence and acceptance. Mainly, these jobs are spiritual in nature. He destroys the evil (demons) associated with negative happenings, thus taking care of the root issue of why people are miserable. In the anime, it is considered that people do evil things because they are attached to some sort of evil. So instead of accelerating these deeds, he has chosen to fight them. He does, though, carry out more mundane tasks as long as there is payment involved.

The most important thing to remember about Yato is that he has nearly been forgotten as a god since departing from his original purpose. His biggest fear is being forgotten or ignored from a patron. If you choose to work with this energy, make sure you are active in your pursuits. He is not wrathful - rather he accepts people leaving with no qualms - but to do so without an explanation would cause him sadness, and in your petitions, probably a less than immediate response. 

Birthday - August 10th (Leo)

Associated with fire, passion, beauty, cats, vanity and matters of the heart.

Age - 1000+

Duties - Delivery, Fortune, Calamity, Depravity, War

Good for completing tasks, petitions, retrieving lost items, banishing, protection & curses

Names - Yobaku : Night Divination | Yatogami (self-made) : Night Sword of God 

*He does not like his given name, so referring to him simply as Yato is best

Colors - Black, White, Blue & Yellow

Suitable Offerings - good luck charms, good luck trinkets, coins, money, alcohol, poker chips, winning scratch-off tickets, things associated with cats, scarves, sewing, knitting

Misc. 

Does not tolerate people that are weak-spirited. While this doesn’t mean you can’t have depression or anxiety to work with him, it simply means that if you have no desire to learn or grow he may not feel obliged to help you. Do not use him; attempt to form a relationship. Do not come to him for matters of the mind. It isn’t his specialty.

Huge fear of being forgotten. 

He is very very happy to have his own space, like a shrine or section specifically dedicated to him. Anything handmade in his name is pleasing. 

Even though he proclaimed himself to be a God of Fortune, it doesn’t mean he can offer you fortune in return. He isn’t good with money and spends it on alcohol and food. So, don’t expect your coin offerings to somehow multiply in your favor. He is the god of Fortune because that’s how he accomplishes tasks. My advice here would be to not take your offerings back, but once in a while offer them to a wishing well type place in his name - and in that sense perhaps the money will return to you, if you are looking for fortune. 

Go to local cultural fairs or festivals! Participating in and enjoying your local culture is a great act to do in his name. Or pick up a souvenir to place on his shrine.

Write positive messages in bathroom stalls! You never know who might see it and have a better day.

Does not adhere to gender roles, or seem very concerned with them. 

How to spell his name -

Image source - x (but more likely just screen-shot from anime series)

On this image note, perhaps you can incorporate making business cards for Yato! Use his written name as a summoning sigil, and write down your request on the paper. Burn it in a fire-safe container to send your request to him!

What his hand-made shrine looks like for reference - 

Image source - x (again, probably from the manga)

And on a final note, an excerpt that may explain his existence better:

“Yato is relatively unknown deity, or kami. He wears a track suit scrounged from a discarded bag of clothes. He bums off his fellow kami for shelter and meals. And he does a number of odd jobs where he demands a pittance in compensation, or offerings, in return. In the world of Noragami, the lives of kami depend on memory. Gods walk amongst mortals, and mortals can interact with gods. Memories can be fleeting for people, however, and memories of the gods are especially ephermeral. Memories of people’s interactions with kami fade from the mind without constant and refreshing interaction with kami. If a person’s attachment to a kami is fairly weak, forgetfulness of that kami’s existence washes almost immediately after initial interaction.  When people cease to remember a kami, that kami ceases to be able to initiate remembrance. They cease, in other words, to exist.

Without the benefit of physical mooring to the world of mortals in the form of frequented written records and dedicated shrines, Yato does odd jobs for people. In the long-term, he hopes to collect enough funds from these jobs to purchase grounds and materials for a shrine of his own. In the short-term, he hopes that by doing these jobs, he can keep people from forgetting that he exists. When they pray for things and offer things in return, their minds remember their interactions with him. For that brief amount of time he listens their prayers, accepts their offerings, and grants their requests, he can remain alive for that much longer.”

Excerpt source - x

So my final thoughts are this. If you choose to work with a Pop Culture deity, even though it is hard to imagine them otherwise - try to be aware and respectful of what culture they represent in the real world. Try to keep your practice close to the original design of the story, keeping in mind that most “created” god-like characters are still somehow derived from historical references. For the purpose of this particular post, Yato doesn’t seem to have much historical ties to any existing Japanese deities, being that he is relatively unknown in the lore and does not have a lot of followers. Noragami, also, means “stray god.” The only information I can find is this -

The Yato-no-kami (夜刀の神?, "gods of the night-sword") are snake deities in Japanese folklore appearing in the Hitachi No Kuni Fudoki. They lived in Namegata county, in fields near the government office. They were rumored to bring familial extermination on anyone who saw them. Eventually, they were killed by a man clearing the fields, enshrined, and banished to the mountains. x

The religion most associated with the anime is Shintoism - x

Jinja Shinto - information on an open practice of Shinto via The Twisted Rope - x

I would say that because Yato is not a relevant god in Shintoism, it is okay to use his imagery for the purposes he represents in the anime and manga. It would be GREAT though at least, to do some research on Shintoism and kami as a way to respectfully understand the lore and vocabulary in the anime. Using other kami apart from pop culture could result in cultural appropriation and disrespect if you are not part of Jinja Shintoism. For my own purposes, I do not see pop-culture deity as living, but more so archetypal - fed by your own energy and attention to their primary goals, which fits into Yato’s belief that your attention to him keeps him alive.

Questions or concerns? Hit me up

[fandomverseofanthony]

Fallout OC - Anthony - Complete Character Sheet & Info

Anthony is more or less the “Main OC” of stories I write involving him, and somewhat of a self-insert character, because I have a tendency of living vicariously through some of my characters. Yeah, I’m weird like that.

"You hear stories about the Wasteland, living in a Vault. I never considered that the reality was so much worse... but you adapt. You survive. You hold onto the hope for a better tomorrow."

General Information

Age: 28 (as of 2287)

Pre Exodus Occupation: Vault Engineer

Post Exodus Occupation: Mechanic/Engineer, Scavenger, Trader. Also been known to take odd jobs for caps and/or help people in need.

Physique: 240lbs and 6' 2". Despite all of the physical labor and occasional running for his life, he is still slightly above average in build. It works in his favor though, as people tend to underestimate his strength and endurance because of it.

Appearance: Fair skin, short messy dirty-blonde hair, and brown eyes. Scar on his left side from a near-fatal Deathclaw attack, during his escape from Vault 430.

Current Whereabouts: Traveling throughout the Commonwealth with Alaelys, but known to hang out at Sanctuary, Diamond City, Goodneighbor, and The Slog from time to time. Current temporary home for Anthony and Alaelys is the Boston Science Museum with Josiah (@bloodboozeandbottlecaps) and Tinker (@doemaarwiebele)

Strengths: Great at repairing things, even using parts that you wouldn't expect could be applied in such a way. Creative mind, typically used for repairing, modifying, and/or creating new tech, along with finding unorthodox but effective ways of solving problems. Makes friends quite easily. He also has a way of influencing people, even some that may be slightly hostile towards him.

Weaknesses: Suffering from survivor's guilt, he constantly goes out of his way to help others out, even at the cost of his own well-being, in an attempt to redeem himself for his "past failure". Can be very stubborn and foolhardy, when he puts his mind to something. Is not very fast or agile, which puts him at a disadvantage in most melee and unarmed fights. Misfortune always has a way of finding him, and those close to him. Constantly blames himself when things go wrong, even if the situation is completely out of everyone's control. Near-crippling fear of heights.

Personality: Anthony constantly tries his best to remain easy-going, cheerful, and optimistic, despite the world he is living in. It takes a lot to bring him down, but when it happens, he falls hard. Loves to meet new people, listen to their stories, and form lasting bonds of friendship. Very loyal to those he has made friends with, always eager to assist them. Loves a good challenge, whether it's something broken that has been deemed beyond repair, or he's in a 10 vs 3 fight, where the odds aren't in his favor (never tell him the odds). When not tinkering away with old and new tech, you can usually find him coming up with new inventions (not all ending well) or playing video games on his Pipboy. Prefers to lead conflicts with words, not violence, but understands that most will likely end in "kill or be killed". Always tries to do the right thing, or at least what he honestly feels is the right thing to do at that moment.

Family:

Mother (Never around to know her name. Presumed dead, as of 2276)

Father (Never around to know his name. Presumed dead, as of 2276)

Statistics and Favored Gear

Favored Armor/Clothing:

Military Fatigues + Ballistic Weave (Non-Combat Situations) (Ballistic Weave recently added by Damon)

Heavy Combat Armor (Combat Situations)

Favored Weapons:

Gauss Rifle that Anthony has named "Peacemaker". It's been heavily upgraded/modified over the years, and was originally taken from a dead Enclave soldier, during his escape from Vault 430

"Lucky" screwdriver. Primarily used as a tool, but he is proficient at using it as an improvised weapon for stabbing, but only in a life or death situation

Unarmed fighting. A combination of street fighting and CQC he learned during his time working with Lyons' Pride

Perks

Strength - 5 - Armorer, Blacksmith

Perception - 6 - Awareness

Endurance - 8 - Toughness, Adamantium Skeleton

Charisma - 8 - Inspirational, Master Trader

Intelligence - 6 - Gun Nut, Hacker, Scrapper, Science!, Jury Rigging

Agility - 3

Luck - 2

Favored Skills:

Speech

Repair

Science

Energy Weapons

Favored Perks:

Inspirational

Jury Rigging

Scrapper

Toughness

Hacker

Backstory

Vault 430

Located in Arlington, Virginia, Vault 430 was built by Vault-Tec with the intent of unlocking the secrets of time travel, dubbed "Project Kronos". It was stocked with enough food, resources, and equipment to sustain the vault and its inhabitants for several centuries.

The vault was restricted to scientists, engineers, and other professions deemed relevant to the project, along with their families. Only Vault-Tec personnel, and scientists directly involved in Project Kronos, knew of the vault's true purpose. They were sworn into secrecy, knowing that they would face death otherwise. Everyone else was lead to believe that the scientists were working towards a way to restore the world back to the way it was. Given the nature of the project, if successful, that was not a complete lie.

Early Life

Anthony was born on 2259 and given up at birth, by parents who deemed Project Kronos more important than raising a child. Cared for by an elderly couple within the vault, he was always curious about his surroundings. Proving to be quite adept at tinkering with, creating, and even repairing tech both old and new, he became a Vault Engineer at the age of 14.

Anthony's position within the vault allowed him to meet and befriend many new people, which came almost as naturally, if not more, to him than his mechanical talents. Such bonds allowed him to expand his skill set even further. He learned how to use and maintain firearms, along with how to hack terminals, from Vault-Tec Security, much to the Overseer's dismay. His status, however, never gained him access into the classified section of the vault, that his parents never seemed to leave. The friends Anthony made, and his fellow engineers, became his new family.

It was Anthony's quest for answers about his parents that lead him to Alaelys. They met during one of his routine maintenance runs. Unaware that he wasn't alone in one of the main project rooms, hacking the division lead's terminal seemed like a good idea at the time. Alaelys popped up behind him before he could obtain anything useful, scaring him half to death. The two talked for hours, enjoying each others' company. From that point on, he would visit her as frequently as time would allow.

The Enclave

Not long after Anthony had turned 17, the Enclave raided Vault 430. Multiple squads stormed in, demanding that all research and personnel involved in Project Kronos be handed over to them. The Overseer arrived, with most of Vault-Tec security in tow, attempting to defuse the situation, while also feigning ignorance. Unfortunately, that only pissed their leader off more, prompting him to blast the Overseer, sparking a furious firefight.

Hearing the gunfire, Anthony bolted in Alaelys' direction, hoping he could reach her in time. Finding her in one of the project rooms, he warned the other scientists about what was happening, before leading her to safety. He wasn't the only one that picked up on the noise, however, as a pack of Deahclaws were drawn to the carnage. It was a bloodbath.

Anthony and Alaelys navigated their way towards the exit. Anthony picked up a Gauss Rifle from a dead soldier along the way, while Alaelys acquired a Power Fist. They nearly made it out of the vault, only for a Deathclaw to stand in the way. Their combined weaponry was enough to kill the creature, but not before it clawed into his left side, leaving him badly wounded.

Everyone Anthony and Alaelys knew, everyone they cared about, was gone... except for each other. This was it, the fabled Wasteland, and it was even more abysmal than they were lead to believe. It wasn’t the world either of them wanted, but it was the one they now found themselves in.

Exodus

Anthony and Alaelys eventually came across a Military Checkpoint not too far from Vault 430. Anthony was starting to feel weak, so Alaelys helped him inside. She had him rest in one of the chairs, as she used the First Aid kit to sew his wounds closed. Alaelys was no medic, but she at least knew enough to save Anthony’s life and bandage him up. The two rested uncomfortably for the night, unsure of what to expect in the morning.

The following day Anthony used whatever he found lying around to jury-rig the Gauss Rifle, and get it working again. While searching for supplies, he also found a full suit of Heavy Combat Armor locked behind a powered gate. Much to his surprise, it was hooked up to a nearby terminal that was still functional. Of course the terminal was password protected, but it was nothing that Anthony couldn’t hack.

Aside from the armor, Anthony also found some military fatigues he could wear, to replace his badly damaged vault suit. He also figured it would work in their favor, given that stories of the pre-war military painted them as bad-asses that were not to be messed with. Considering that so far all of the other horror stories of the Wasteland were true, Anthony would rather scare off Raiders, rather than to be stuck fighting them.

From the Military Checkpoint, Anthony and Alaelys were constantly traveling, trying to find a place to call home, while helping others along the way.

Seeking Closure

After roughly seven months of adapting to living in the Wasteland, Anthony and Alaelys were finally doing fairly well for themselves. Although they didn't have a home to call their own, they made enough friends in their travels to always have a place to rest their weary heads. Well, at least Alaelys could.

Sleep was fleeting, as Anthony was constantly plagued by the same nightmare about Vault 430. He would find himself surrounded by corpses as far as the eye could see, including Alaelys'. They would reanimate, blaming him for their death, before tearing him apart. It eventually became too much, affecting his health. He knew what needed to be done. They had to return back to Vault 430.

Anthony searched the vault feverishly, hoping to find any info he could on the Enclave, and what they hoped to achieve. After what felt like an eternity, he found a heavily encrypted holodisk on a dead Enclave soldier. Hacking into the holodisk, he discovered that most of the data was corrupted, but the Enclave squad's orders were to bring all research and personnel back to Raven Rock.

Using Project Kronos, the Enclave intended to travel back to 2242 and kill who they referred to as "The Chosen One", effectively stopping the destruction of the Enclave's original headquarters and ensuring that their original plan to "purify" the Wasteland came to fruition. A contingency plan, the details of it being part of the data that was corrupted, was set in motion, but traveling back in time and stopping the destruction of their headquarters was deemed the prime objective. The holodisk also contained information about a potential ally, that the Enclave has deemed a grave threat to their operations, the "Brotherhood of Steel".

Lyons' Pride

[MORE DETAILS SOON!]

Commonwealth

[MORE DETAILS SOON!]

Notes

Anthony is romantically involved with Alaelys, and the two have been that way since shortly after leaving Vault 430

Can not stress how much Anthony loves puns. It's sad, really

Once worked with Avery to take down a group of Raiders, their leader being Avery's bounty (Can read here: Have Gun - Will Travel)

Has been known to assist Goody with maintenance at the Salem Museum of Witchcraft (Can read here: Something Wicked This Way Comes)

Was saved from a botched recon mission by Mercy (Can read here: Night Surgeon)

Created the Ghoulbus with Trish, and the help of Tilda, Tinker and Toy, Lucas, Cameron, and Sammy Ortiz (Can read here: The Magic Ghoulbus | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6)

Although not fond of some of the other Wasteland delicacies (*cough*anythinginvolvingradroachmeat*cough*), Anthony absolutely loves Brahmin Burgers, as uncommon as they may be

Once consumed a single bite of a People Burger, due to an accident caused by Papa Romero dangerously "Gabbing While Grilling(TM)" (Can view comic here: Don't Gab and Grill)

Found a trumpet in an old music store during his first year in the Wasteland. Still not great at it, even though he has practiced with it over the past 10 years, but enjoys playing it, much to Alaelys' dismay

Anthony's armor and rifle have chips built into them, used similar to a homing device, that transmits to his Pipboy. He built and installed these chips, in the event that his equipment is ever lost or stolen. A possible upgrade that induces electric shock upon command has been considered, but not yet implemented.

[damienthepious]

TELL US ABOUT ALL THE OCS!! ilandere, kalinda, callise, enna, lerato, raske, blacklight, clamor, bonny, vmni !!!

OKAY OMG THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BUT ALSO THIS IS GONNA BE THE LONGEST POST EVER SO IT’S GOOOOING UNDER A CUT

like . no capslock to show how srs i am this is the longest post ever fair warning

I AM THE LEAST CONCISE PERSON IN HISTORY dear mobile users I AM SORRY, also i spent so much time writing all these it’s a little ridiculous?? wow

Ilandere [my daughter my darling baby girl] [novel character - sci fi - sisterworlds!verse]

Full Name: Ilandere CirilaGender and Sexuality: she’s a gal and… errrr demisexual lesbian??? aro/ace with an exception???? she is in love with one woman and. that is kind of the end-all-be-all of her sexualityPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: Human, but non-earth human so it’s hard to say exact ethnicity? hold up i know i have a pic, and Set you (you wonderful person you) asked for a pic in another ask so… 

ignore the self-deprecation, pls, she’s got brown skin and freckles and long wavy hair and bright… bright teal eyes…

Birthplace and Birthdate: Er. non-earth again so. 17 Eshana moon, year 305 of the imperial calendar, which means nothing to nobody, and she was born in out in the suburban sprawl near Asmara cityGuilty Pleasures: fairy tales. she’s kind of a…. scientific prodigy, and ‘frivolous’ pursuits are kind of frowned upon in her culture, so she keeps her interest in fairy tales and mythology on the dl for the most partPhobias: well. ilandere, you see, works primarily on the theoretical physics of portals, so she has a fairly… deep seated, and very well informed… fear of portal fragging. like. being partway through a portal when it closes? being…. cut in pieces by a portal ceasing to be. that…. terrifies her, at the deepest level.What They Would Be Famous For: Oh well she’s kind of a mathematical genius? and she kind of is famous for that? she’s ‘one of the most promising scientific minds of her generation’What They Would Get Arrested For: um. not returning library books on time. is literally the ONLY THING i can think of.OC You Ship Them With: Kalinda :3OC Most Likely To Murder Them: holy shit. nobody in the fucking multiverse are you kidding. she is. the sweetest and kindest person. in those ‘should you fight’ memes she’s the fucking one who gets ‘yeah you can beat her but WHY WOuLD YOU WANT TO YOU MONSTER’Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn’t much watch movies or plays, she has a really hard time keeping focus on them and she tends to get distracted by ideas for her work halfway through. books tho! she is literally always reading! she loves to read math books straight up. lil nerd. she likes biographies too, and, seeeecretly, mythology & fairy tale booksLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Nerd Girl Gets Makeover And Suddenly Has Straight Hair And Doesn’t Need Her Glasses And Is Pretty Now Really And Suddenly Deserves The Boy!!!!! like ew she hates that shit as both a nerd and as someone who has less than zero interest in boys.Talents and/or Powers: Did I already say math genius? p sure yeah. Also. and this is something she doesn’t know anything about. Something that’s literally just meta knowledge that I know. She has a sort of…. aura of influence? She’s magnetic. She just attracts attention (positive or negative) naturally, wherever she goes, without meaning to or really trying.Why Someone Might Love Them: She is. Bubbly and enthusiastic, she is brilliant and bright and generous and chipper and she’s. my baby.Why Someone Might Hate Them: she…. can get really caught up in herself? she might forget about everything around her because of whatever she’s working on just then? She’s also not… particularly humble? she’s not a braggart but she also doesn’t know how to… downplay her skills for other people’s comfort? like, her attention grabbing aura will occasionally breed… jealousy and spite? but frankly it usually doesn’t last past actually getting to know her.How They Change: !!!!! I’ll tell you when i actually write the book!!!!!! no but really she is eventually supposed to learn how to live in the moment, to…. really see other people around her? to realize that the world around her isn’t some dream she’ll wake up from to start having a ‘real life’, if that makes sense? she has an all-encompassing goal for much of her story that she lets absolutely consume her, and she sort of… learns eventually… that that was something of a mistake, even though she does get what she wants in the end. She missed out on her friends and family while they were right there with her.Why You Love Them: real talk tho ilandere and kalinda together were some of my first Real, Serious OCs. they were…. between the two of them, they were me exploring my sexuality. they were me becoming okay with liking ladies. and they’ve both grown just. just sooooo much with me. ilandere -  i played her and kalinda in this big fun larp my now-bf was running, and they really helped me build my storytelling, build my acting. Ilandere was a soft, brainy kid stuck with a bunch of fighters, and she could still keep up and prove her value with her mind and her talents and her generosity of spirit, and i love her so. so so very much. She’s grown with me too- she helped me come to terms with my autism, and i realized that i had always played her- with that part of me? her odd speech patterns, her social skills that she worked so hard on but didn’t come easily to her, her stimming! she is just- i can’t emphasize enough how much she means to me, as a character, as an extension of myself.

Kalinda [novel character - fantasy- sisterworlds!verse]

Full Name: Kalinda Flint Beryl (look gemstone surnames are really common on her world it’s totally not weird)Gender and Sexuality: lesbian!Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: non-earth human again, i’ve been revamping her look lately so i don’t actually have a faceclaim or anything yet, but i think like, in earth terms she’d be southeast asian? maybe?Birthplace and Birthdate: urgh uh midsummer in the year 1105 AK (she is two years older than Ilandere, as far as that relativity nonsense goes, since they’re from…… different fucking planets), and she was born out in the countryside, in her mum’s cottageGuilty Pleasures: pretty much… everything? she doesn’t actually…. spend any intentional time on pleasure? she kind of deprives herself of anything that could distract her from her goals, at all. So like. enjoying a fucking sunset for two seconds would make her feel guilty and pissed off.Phobias: claustrophobia, and also certain specific types of magic? like the kind of…. ancient, deep magic that lives in the bones of the earth, that lives in the void between stars, that lives in the undercurrents of death. that kind of magic.What They Would Be Famous For: She’s a fairly skilled swordsmith, a fairly skilled mage, and a fairly skilled fighter all around, but she’s none of those things enough to be really…. famous for them?What They Would Get Arrested For: hahahaha i didn’t think about this when i wrote Ilandere’s but. straight up for stealing books. that has. actually happened.OC You Ship Them With: Ilandere!!!!! :DOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Hrm. She has a parental figure, her smithing mentor? who is pretty dang peeved off at Kalinda for the. like. the way she chose to live her life? but prooooobably only enough to. y’know. smack her around a bit in frustrated affection? yeah.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: magic…. tomes…. she hasn’t read for fun since childhood, alasLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: she seriously Does Not CareTalents and/or Powers: She’s a spellsword, and her magic specialization is like, some weird combination of nature/flora magic and… void magic.Why Someone Might Love Them: she has a central core of tempered steel. she is strong and unwavering. and despite her insistence on prioritizing her own goals above all else, she will still stop to help others if she sees them in trouble (tho she might pretend to grumble about it). Why Someone Might Hate Them: she’s also kind of unapproachable, and could possible be seen as… like…. heartless? she’s very very good at acting like she doesn’t care about other people, provided they aren’t in immediate danger. and she just doesn’t have the fucking time of day for small talk or petty problems, and she’s spent so much time on her own that her social skills completely suckHow They Change: she keeps that steely incorruptible core, but she slowly, painfully learns to soften her edges. to actually value the cliche and stop to smell the roses. it’s not easy to transition into finally having what you spent your whole life wanting, but eventually… she learns to take comfort as it comes.Why You Love Them: All the reasons in the same section of Ilandere’s set, because these two babes area package deal with me. Also, because i am a spiteful creator and i am sick to death of ‘tuff gurl is straight 2 break stereotypes!’ and Kalinda is my short haired, sword slinging, hard-scrabble, tough-as-nails, lesbian baby. Kalinda helped me learn to be… unapologetic.

Callise [rp character]

Full Name: she… doesn’t have one? her actual designation is ‘Calypso’, but she does not know that.Gender and Sexuality: she’s bi, and she might, eventually, come to understand herself as nonbinary? but she doesn’t do a lot of introspection so for all intents & purposes she’s a woman.Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: human/living portal storm??????Birthplace and Birthdate: in… a lab…. at some undisclosed time…. that no one knows anymore because that dimension….. is gone… holy shit why am i like thisGuilty Pleasures: ohhhh she does not believe in this concept at all. Callise is sort of a live-for-the-moment um. hedonist? look she suffers a LOT throughout her nonsense life so she isn’t gonna care about eating some fuckign cake or having some sex, ya dig?Phobias: enclosed spaces, being restrained, deserts, starving to deathWhat They Would Be Famous For: ????? being….. fucked the fuck up???? and feral?????????What They Would Get Arrested For: literally not giving an entire shit about the laws of any fucking world she’s onOC You Ship Them With: a glass of warm milk & a fucking good night’s sleepOC Most Likely To Murder Them: anyone… who is easily scared by teeth gnashing and snarling i suppose?Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn’t consume a LOT of media? and she typically can’t read the languages on the worlds she’s stuck on? but she fucking loves popcorn action movies and shitty comedies and just stuff that’s Fun she doesn’t have to think about at alllllll Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: …. evil scientists are a genuine trigger for herTalents and/or Powers: um. she’s. her physical form is irretrievably merged with a portal storm. like, a storm in spacetime that punches holes into various multiversal dimensions? she can sometimes control it? in little bits? but mostly it manifests as the storm completely… demolishing whatever world she’s in at that moment? usually it takes a few years after she comes to a place, but eventually the storm will ‘catch up’ to her, and the longer she’s been there the worse it will be, and then the storm will fuck up the world and…. kill her. and she will wake up on the next world. if she dies in another way, she’ll wake up in the next place anyway regardless. she really, really doesn’t understand it, not even to the point of knowing that she is the storm. she thinks the storm is chasing her.Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s…. uh… very honestly herself? she is 10000% in the moment and earnest about everything. she has no deception whatsoever within herself. Why Someone Might Hate Them: … she has no deception whatsoever within herself. she is indescribably blunt. she is… kind of animalistic and violent and doesn’t care about laws or social rules and she does things, sometimes, on the smallest fucking whim, including occasionally biting people??? and punching things and people for fun??? like she loves fighting people and sometimes it’s sort of foreplay too??? and breaking stuff just to break stuff? so… yeahHow They Change: oh Cal changes so much over the course of her long, long, looooooong life, and not always for the better? she kind of slips…. depending on how she’s treated on each world she portals to, she slips in and out of feral!Cal mode? if she’s chased and hunted, if she’s locked up, if she’s treated with violence, she’ll go wild. She, as a character, kind of reflects how she’s treated at any given time? Why You Love Them: she’s my monster child. i mean, she’s kind of a vent character? and because of her nature, i can slip her into any sort of narrative i feel like atm, which makes her a pretty fun rp character. if she dies, she dies! that particular narrative is donezo, oh well, but she gets to run off and have adventures somewhere else! it’s really fun

Enna [novel character - fantasy - elementals!verse]

Full Name: *rubs my horrible hands together* okay there is a reincarnation component to the is character so??? the first name she was given was Endellion Devlin, her title is Phoenix, and she’s had like eighteen other names including Aideen Lucero and Shea EdenGender and Sexuality: bisexual, and genderfluid between usually a woman and agender or male more occasionallyPronouns:depends what gender she’s feeling, so usually she/herEthnicity/Species: human/elemental, and bc of that reincarnation element her ethnicity changes from lifetime to lifetimeBirthplace and Birthdate: er. lots of different ones? again with the non-earth world. i’m quite predictable on that front. (i kind of hate/suck at writing plain old earth)Guilty Pleasures: hmm…. well…. she feels a bit… low-key guilty about… how much she enjoys fighting? like the physical act of fighting, she takes lot of joy in, and she feels weird about that because… obviously… fighting hurts peoplePhobias: confinement, death, drowningWhat They Would Be Famous For: leading a rebellion to overthrow a bigoted oppressive regime :3What They Would Get Arrested For: leading a rebellion to overthrow a bigoted oppressive regime :3OC You Ship Them With: Lerato, also, Sil TivanOC Most Likely To Murder Them: oh, pretty much anyone in the Creed (aforementioned bigotd oppressive regime), but mostly Raith. who kind of… has? actually? killed her. at least three times.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: sheeeee…. doesn’t actually read or consume media p much ever? she’s too action oriented. she doesn’t like stopping to watch/read things. but if she did…….. soppy romanceLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: ditto above response minus the endingTalents and/or Powers: mmm she’s a fire elemental, can produce and manipulate fire/heat, and kindasorta fly with it? also, elemental powers in this world present at puberty (yes kind of like x men thanx), and enna can sense whether or not a child is going to develop into an elemental later in lifeWhy Someone Might Love Them: she is pure fucking passion sculpted into human form. she’s the kind of person to dance barefoot outside in a thunderstorm, splashing in literally every puddle. plus she is just really very compassionate, protective, honest, funWhy Someone Might Hate Them: hmmmmmm because she is unapologetic about everything she does. she’s a fighter and she will fight you if you threaten the people she cares about, and she will not pull her punches. not at all.How They Change: during the novel i’m planning/writing, she starts off in an odd place emotionally, because she’s been… conditioned, sort of, to repress herself, and control herself, which is really really contrary to her nature, and she has to spend the first third of the story unlearning that training and becoming herself again, tho she’s feeling very burnt out about her… purpose… at that point? Then, something happens that fucks with her… worldview, and her sense of self, and she runs away, which is also pretty damn against her nature, or at least against the way she’s always lived her life, and then she spends some time learning how to slow down and enjoy things again, and remembering why it is that she fights in the first place, and who she fights for, and then… that ends really poorly too. the last part of the novel is her companion slowly slowly earning her trust back, and Enna coming back into her own as a leader and a fighter and as a whole person, finally, instead of just a symbol.Why You Love Them: Enna was created not long after Ilandere & Kalinda, meaning that she came pretty early in my creative growth, and so a lot of her meta character changes are really relevant to my life? she another bi baby of mine. also… i really like to hope that i would be as brave as her if i was in her position. she’s an ideal for me, and i aspire to be like her.

Lerato [novel character - fantasy - elementals!verse]

Full Name: Lerato SorchaGender and Sexuality: bi womanPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: human/elementalBirthplace and Birthdate: i’m gonna leave this at a very very long fucking time ago in a place that burned to the groundGuilty Pleasures: look poor Lerato feels guilty about a lot of very legitimate things, but she doesn’t waste a lot of time berating herself for small pleasuresWhat They Would Be Famous For: Back In The Day, she’d be famous for the whole revolutionary leader thing that Enna takes over from her, but nowadays she really prefers to hang out in the background, on the sidelines, offering support and advice. she is TiredWhat They Would Get Arrested For: i mean. collusion with a known resistance leader, so.OC You Ship Them With: Ennaaaaaaaaaaaaa. she really really really loves Enna, just, so fucking much. for all the good it does either of them.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Raith holy shit, because Raith is a jealous horrible. um. monster. and yet again. has actually killed Lerato before. but only once. and also Gideon would, because of that whole being a leader in the Creed thing.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she likes poetry an awful lot.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: love triangles.Talents and/or Powers: she’s also an elemental, but substantially older than Enna, and her powers present a bit differently. she can teleport in a kind of hazy burst, can recover from damage by ‘fading’ out, and she can sense elementals at a distance (this sense is particularly attuned to Enna, actually, and one or two others)Why Someone Might Love Them: she is very sensitive and attentive to other people’s emotional states, and she is loyal to a fucking fault. if she thinks you are deserving, she will 100% fucking die for you. she’s also like… fierce and gentle at the same time? she makes me think of turtledoves and rainclouds and campfire smoke and i find her utterly loveableWhy Someone Might Hate Them: she never fucking says what she fucking means, and she keeps pretending that she doesn’t feel anything when she’s fucking dying inside because she fucking thinks that being self-sacrificing will somehow! fucking! help! anything!  also she has been known to… string people along, because she doesn’t want to hurt them, so she just… she’ll deliberately neglect to clarify her emotions because she’s afraid to make someone else feel bad about them. it’s not dishonesty… but it is p much cowardice.How They Change: Lerato learns that a) sacrificing yourself is not always the best fucking option, especially not when you haven’t consulted the person being protected, and b) you don’t get what you actually want if you don’t say what you actually want and c) …  that she deserves to be treated well, that she deserves and always did deserve better, that she didn’t deserve abuse and coercion, that she can be and should be happy.Why You Love Them: Well, Lerato started as kind of a… if Enna was who i wanted to be, then Lerato kind of formed from this nebulous fictional idea of a person i would want to fall in love with / want to fall in love with me? and thus tbh Lerato changed from a super cliche, jane austen/jane eyre mysterious romantic leading man who would do anything for Enna, and developed slowly into a woman with quite complex motivations and emotions who i still wouldn’t mind doing a smooch with. i am a mature content creator. fuck. so anyway, i love Lerato because… well… i kind of made her to be loved?

Raske [rp character - x files]

Full Name: Harriet Delilah RaskeGender and Sexuality: queer womanPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: she? doesn’t know? she’s adopted & her ethnicity’s never really been important to her. also she’s a rare Actual Earth Human from my character rolodex, wow weird.Birthplace and Birthdate: you’d think, considering that whole Actual Earth Human thing i’d have an answer for this? i know her bday is April 7th, but i can’t remember if the rp she’s from took place period to the original x files show or if the gm updated it to modern, and that changes the year sooooGuilty Pleasures: frankly? she kind of secretly enjoys making people feel uncomfortable about her prosthetic leg. if people get weird about it on their own? she makes a point to dial it up and just. low key fuck with them.What They Would Be Famous For: deadpan humor and avoiding her feeliesWhat They Would Get Arrested For: maybe kind of possibly breaking the law in pursuit of Truth That Is Probably Out There?OC You Ship Them With: proper mental heath careOC Most Likely To Murder Them: ~~~Mysterious G Men~~~Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn’t watch movies a lot. She used to really like medical drama tv shows, but now she spends her time listening to audiobooks, usually biographies or historical fictionLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: she hates hates hates the ‘lone sniper’ myth in fictionTalents and/or Powers: she’s a tough cookie and an excellent shot with both a pistol and a rifleWhy Someone Might Love Them: you know how working hard for something makes it seem more worthwhile once you get there? it’s like that with Raske. if you pay enough attention you realize that she’s actually so fucking funny, it’s just that she always delivers her humor completely deadpan. she’s got a lot of subtlety to her in every emotion, so once you get to know her and you can see through her veneer, you realize she’s an awkward, funny, sensitive, endearing worrywart, who only pretends to be totally in control of herself.  and also she could totally throw you over her shoulder and carry you off into the sunset so there’s that angle also ;3Why Someone Might Hate Them: well, if you don’t manage to get through her crunchy exterior, then all you’re gonna wind up seeing is a stone faced gal who never fucking laughs and won’t give anyone the time of day for small talk. also she stole the last cup of coffee and didn’t put a new pot onHow They Change: she gets… way more paranoid…. and also she bonds with her fellow agents in a totally dweeby found-family wayWhy You Love Them: she’s really different from the sorts of characters i usually play rp-wise? i almost always trend towards really emotional characters, and talkative ones, and Raske is kind of the opposite of that? so she really let me stretch out my character building muscles, and she helped me work on more subtle acting. 

Blacklight [rp character - superhero!verse]

Full Name: Sabrina Aurore SeaverGender and Sexuality: aro bi gal (i’m realizing a trend, here)Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: mixed race black/Korean metahumanBirthplace and Birthdate: Boston, April 8th, 1989Guilty Pleasures: ehhhh when she was younger she used to be into some recreational drug use (nowadays she mostly just drinks, & she smokes occasionally too)What They Would Be Famous For: her awesomesauce freerunning skillzWhat They Would Get Arrested For: well, y’see, vigilante-ism is technically… actually… very illegalOC You Ship Them With: she hooks up with a lot of people and has a lot of fun with them, but she… doesn’t have… romantic feelies?? p much ever? her and Sharkie (who i s2g i will figure out a real name for eventually) kind of develop a really sweet queerplatonic relationship eventuallyOC Most Likely To Murder Them: mmm Clamor but mostly in a if you get yourself killed i will murder you sort of wayFavorite Movie/Book Genre: bad/good 80′s moviesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: helpless damsel needs rescuing by Big Strong MahnTalents and/or Powers: copied from her rp blog bio bc i’m a laaazy nb: Her range of vision is substantially better, spanning from ultraviolet to infrared (meaning that she can also ‘see’ heat, to a point). During the day, her body absorbs ultraviolet light and emanates heat without any conscious effort on her part, and at night it does the opposite, causing her body to effectively become a black-light (hence the name). The odd way her skin interacts with light and heat is responsible for her relatively pale complexion, since it makes her incapable of tanning properly, and it also means that she cannot be damaged by heat by itself, though fire, a chemical reaction, can still burn her just fine. She can manipulate and produce infrared, visible spectrum, and ultraviolet light as well, creating bright blinding flashes or heating flammable material until it combusts (though she cannot produce or manipulate fire itself).Why Someone Might Love Them: legitimate love for you, my dude. she’ll risk her idiot skin to save your life and then take you out dancing, she’ll smile like a bonfire and laugh like you’ve said the funniest thing she’s ever heard and she’ll mean it, really and truly. she’s easy to fall in love with because she treats every interaction and every person with attention and care. she is genuinely interested in what you have to say. she will make you feel important, and funny and special, and lmao then she’ll break your fucking heart because yes, she loves you, of course she loves you, she would die for you and she’d help you move, but not like that dude i’m sorry. she doesn’t love you like That.Why Someone Might Hate Them: that last bit, also she’s irreverent and reckless and a bit careless with herself and sometimes other people, because the idea that she could hurt other people’s feelings by putting herself in danger just. doesn’t occur to her? ever? and if you’re nasty to her she will turn into THE BIGGEST SHIT, she goes FULL BRAT MODE and she is. p unlikable when she aims that at yaHow They Change: she learns a) it’s okay that she doesn’t have feelings for people. she’s not broken. she doesn’t need to change herself for someone else. she doesn’t need to pretend. it’s okay. b) being a reckless idiot while in a costume and mask will Get You Shot, dummy. c) you can’t compartmentalize your whole life. things will start to bleed over before you expect them to and it will Not end wellWhy You Love Them: oh, baby blacklight. I came up with her for a larp my bro was running, his superhero verse is Really cool. She started as sort of a tropebreaker? she’s a superhero because she has powers and because she thought it would be FUN. she has literally no angst about her superpowers, she has a pretty cool home life, she isn’t hard up for money, her parents are BOTH ALIVE and she has a halfway decent relationship with them? and i fell in love with that idea hard. also she’s just developed into this really fun, happy, positive person with a good impact on the world, and she lets me live vicariously thru her extroverted party girl self

Clamor [rp character - superhero!verse]

Full Name: Kai “Kitty” MahoeGender and Sexuality: lesbianPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: hawaiian, metahumanBirthplace and Birthdate: June 2nd, 1991, Los AngelesGuilty Pleasures: lmao nahWhat They Would Be Famous For: for being the worst low-level villain and stealing the most petty shit ever in history, you already have like eight amps and more fucking sound equipment than any human could ever want, also you can do that with your fucking body already i hate youWhat They Would Get Arrested For: “”OC You Ship Them With: she’s… kind of in love with Blacklight? and it’s a bit fucked up…. she mostly plays it off as No One Fucks With My Hero But Me, but she’s saved Sabrina’s life at least three times and occasionally tries to make out with her under the pretense of near-death adrenalineOC Most Likely To Murder Them: …. Sharkie (god i need a NAME for them)Favorite Movie/Book Genre: period romance Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: the fucking wilhelm screamTalents and/or Powers: she can manipulate sound with her mind/body. she can amplify or muffle noises around her, and she can use a sort of rhythm… frequency… amplification thing to turn sound into a weapon. she can create sonic blasts easily or make someone temporarily deaf. she could do this with just any old noises, but she is fucking Extra and always uses instruments, particularly percussion and particularly drumsticks, tho she can play a bunch of different things. Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s actually p funny and clever and fun to hang out with as a civilian…….Why Someone Might Hate Them: … but her alter-ego is a complete fucking shithead, she’s a selfish dick and she Will Steal Everything You LoveHow They Change: tbh she’s still to early in development for me to know this quite yetWhy You Love Them: i love bratty irreverent characters sometimes

Bonny [novel character - sci fi - Star Stray]

Full Name: Bonny Read CalumniGender and Sexuality: bisexual nonbinary womanPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: human Birthplace and Birthdate: she was born on a colony called Atlantis on the moon Europa, at some as-of-yet unspecified Future Year, November 14thGuilty Pleasures: she sneaks off to places she shouldn’t be on every single spaceship she’s been on. she loves finding secret places to hide, and she uses them like an earth kid would use a tree fort, to keep her little treasures and private stuff, and to hide from her momWhat They Would Be Famous For: well… acheiving First Contact with an alien species lmaoWhat They Would Get Arrested For: … nothing??? she is actually quite a sweet young woman, not exactly criminal material, unlike most of my oc children.OC You Ship Them With: her long distance friend/crush/ex, DalOC Most Likely To Murder Them: there are a few angry splinter factions that are veeery against the nasty alien creature that came from the sky, so probably them?Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she loves YA, specifically dystopian YALeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: she hates the super smart child prodigy clicheTalents and/or Powers: she’s really good at taking things apart and fixing them, and she’s really great at figuring out how mechanical things work.Why Someone Might Love Them: she will fix the AC in your room and bring you snacks and listen to you vent about your day and give you a comisserating, rueful smile. when the conversation lulls, she’ll come out with an unexpected joke just to surprise you into laughing. she will dance ot any music. she will go to a museum full of stuff she doesn’t actually care much about or understand just to make silly jokes about everything there with you. look she’s just. dweeby but charming about it anyway.Why Someone Might Hate Them: her anger issues make her difficult to get along with sometimes? she tends to bottle her feelings and then eventually, inevitably explodesHow They Change: mmmm she stops hiding her desires to make other people happy, and she um. learns not to be an asshole to aliens for no reason? and to be fcking respectful of Vmna and their cultureWhy You Love Them: she a good space girl. lov her. sorry i’m so damn tired

Vmna [novel character - sci fi - Star Stray]

Full Name: [i fucking wrote their name wrong in the tag bc i’m ridiculous, and also i can’t remember ipa and their language is super weird so this is going to be unpronounceable]   k’ Vmna nksGender and Sexuality: Vmna’s people don’t actually have a concept of ‘gender’ that in any way parallels human gender, so they kind of don’t have sexuality either? like as a conceptPronouns: they/themEthnicity/Species: their species doesn’t really have a translatable name, but Bonny tends to call them ‘centaurs’Birthplace and Birthdate: [insert words that don’t fucking make sensewithout the context of the novel]Guilty Pleasures: What They Would Be Famous For: being the first of her species to actually speak with and make friends with an alien life formWhat They Would Get Arrested For: maybe for sneaking Fun contraband to the alien without permissionOC You Ship Them With: i believe that'll have to wait for the sequel novel! but she is totally gonna wind up falling for a human i betOC Most Likely To Murder Them: ditto Bonny’s answer, because they consider Vmna complicitFavorite Movie/Book Genre: there’s a specific genre on their world that’s p much just ‘comfort fiction’, like? just sound/image/smell/story combinations that are made to be pure comfort. they love those.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: lmao in fiction on their world has a cliche of all aliens looking like mis-colored versions of their own species but, like, with weird feet usuallyTalents and/or Powers: Vmna is very good at linguistics Why Someone Might Love Them: they are attentive and clever, and they’re ridiculously empatheticWhy Someone Might Hate Them: no good reason goddamn. Vmna is lovelyHow They Change: Vmna learns to appreciate Earth Music and Earth Idioms and Earth Humor, and they also grow to be more confident in their skills as a linguist  and a sociologistWhy You Love Them: Vmnaaaaaaaa is super cool and they’re also like, the Primo Example of me spitewriting? because their ENTIRE species exists because i’m hella bitter about shitty alien design in fiction? like i haaaaate miscolored Space Babe design? i hate boring anthropocentric alien design???? SO MUCH??? as someone once said (i think it was Dal?) (and i’m paraphrasing), CONVERGENT EVOLUTION WILL ONLY GET YOU SO FAR, there is NO REASON for alien design to be boring! Except for LACK OF IMAGINATION. SO! Vmna’s species are weird centaur/elephant folks who have big spike-claw feet and move vertically as easily as they move horizontally, and they have no gender and they communicate emotion partially thru scent/pheremones, and they see color different, and a bunch of other shit i’ve forgotten since i wrote the novel, and Vmna themself is just. The Epitome. of their species. in my head. and i love them

AND WITH THAT I THINK I’M DONE???? WOW THANK U SET THIS WAS FUN IF EXHAUSTING! and i hope this is even marginally interesting to someone besides meself