#Facebook Memories

[jasondamien93]

🖤

[theseaofworry]

Spoiler alert- it was undiagnosed autism.

[thequeenofsastiel]

I like Facebook memories most of the time, but I'll be honest, I could do without reminders that my 18 year old self liked to post cryptic song lyrics like the big loser drama queen that I was. A much less good queen to be than the one of Sastiel.

[scumgristle]

and chances are if you reach your breaking point and lacerate these fucking momos with deeply personal verbal attacks (or failing that, constricting their throat with your inner elbow until you sense their peepee about to come out), you'll be the one getting the firm talking to. because you briefly allowed your emotions override your composure and "violence solves nothing" and "as soon as you respond with anger you're AUTOMATICALLY WRONG" (i heard that last line more times then i care to remember), meanwhile these duplicitous jizz-tarts keep on keepin' on, learning nothing and having their worst impulses either ignored or enabled.

Or howzaboit this classic;

"I know this is hard now, but literally 1/2 a day after graduation a fairy god stripper is going to boop you on the dick with a wand made of waterfall wishes and you'll transform into a world famous omni-celebrity millionaire who gets laid every 12 hours, and all those bullies will be mopping up your stank gravy for twelve cents an hour, cause ThE gEeKS aLWaYS wIn"

[batwynn]

Shout out to facebook memories reminding me that today is the anniversary of the day I could have secured my rights to my work before someone stole it and made money off of it. 🥲 Always a good time with Facebook Memories.

[renee-writer]

From my Facebook memories. The possible hand hold has nothing on these. Ship on😁

[thecurioustale]

At Flannigan's Grocery

"Paper or plastic?"

"How dare you? How DARE you?!"

"Sir???"

"You forgot to ask me if I'd like to save audacious percentages from my bill by signing up for your store card."

"This is Flannigan's, sir. We don't have a store card."

"Don't you at least have some kind of irresistible mega January 8 sale?"

"No, sir."

"Well, then surely you'd like to invite my comment as to whether I found everything I was looking for and had the best experience possible!"

"Was there something you needed help finding?"

"Of course not! I wouldn't have checked out otherwise."

"Of course, sir. And...would you like paper or plastic?"

"How DARE you?!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Here I am at the checkout--the CHECKOUT, I tell you--and you haven't so much as asked me for my ZIP code, let alone my previous three home addresses or weight in kilograms on the Moon. What kind of store is this?"

"This is Flannigan's Grocery, sir."

"Yes, well, I'm sure now's the moment you've been waiting for to spring on me the oh-so-innocent question of whether I'd like to take a moment to donate a dollar for charity! Ah hah! I'm on to your little games."

"No, sir. I just want to know what kind of bags you'd like for your groceries."

"Unlikely! You haven't needed to pick up that little phone of yours and summon the manager with some special overlord's key to open your till there."

"There's no need. You're all paid up and you got your change."

"Am I in the wrong line or something?"

"Sir?"

"This is completely unacceptable. Where are the exhortations, the solicitations? Where are the promises of glimmering bargains beyond the dreams of avarice? I demand a barrage of point-of-sale demands for my time, money, and energy!"

"I suppose you like you could tell me whether you'd like paper or plastic bags."

"Touché! And well-played, I must concede! But you won't have it so easily from me. I brought my OWN bags! They're right here in the...er...in the trunk of my car."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"How about plastic?"

"Yes, sir."

[misslisamiray]

6 years later, I'm still wondering about this. I still have no answers. 😂

[aeterna-auroral-avenger]

I think high school senior me was trying her hand in angst poetry with this facebook post:

So the bell rings again. I walk the same path once more. The routine has never changed. I know what it means when they say, "Home is where the heart is." School is in session, and I'm thrown back into the hazard and craziness of society.

[nickrowler]

I forgot about this 😂

[creepyolddude1973]

[jasondamien93]

Still relevant

[hachama]

Thank you, Facebook memories, for reminding me of the Democratic primary debates that I analyzed so intensely 5 years ago.

For the record, Biden did not do well on my rankings.

Image description: screen capture from a Facebook post. A line of text at the top reads "I'm going to rate the candidates on a very scientific scale. Veeerrrrryyy scientific" above a picture of three stylized faces. On the left, a smiley. In the middle, a neutral or disappointed ":/". On the right, an angry, frowning face with dramatic eyebrows.

[admiralgiggles]

*Stanley meets Lady Liberty.

Sometimes I really appreciate Facebook reminders. Around this time I n 2017, my niece, who lives in North Carolina, got to participate in the Flat Stanley project and chose me to take Stanley on some adventures.

*Here we are in Chinatown, NYC.

*Of course I had to take him to my favorite place to drink coffee and contemplate life with my friends, the JC waterfront.

*I even took him to a place I’d never been before, Seaside Heights, NJ. It was pre-season, so we had to traverse a dune to get to the water.

I was 34 at the time. I'm not sure who had more fun with this project me or my 6 year old niece, who got all kinds of souvenirs (because that was actually part of the project) and a megaton of salt water taffy to share with her class (because sometimes I'm an overachiever).

Perks of being an aunt, I suppose.

[mbrainspaz]

I wish there was a facebook hack where you could change all instances of your deadname in to your name. I like looking through old memories but it's so eugh seeing my name and even worse when I see myself deadnaming friends who've come out since then. Sure, there was no way any of us could've known better, but in my heart we were using eachother's real names and pronouns, and I wish our old posts could reflect that.

[renee-writer]

Six and a half years ago. Holli meeting Elijah. My first time meeting my grandson as well.