#FUN FACT I found a poster with their name in Chinese (along with the English name in VERY BLURRY AWFUL QUALITY)

[star-scrambled]

CURRENYLY THINKING....ABOUT THEM......HEYYYYY..........

[halloweenismyfav]

I can't stop making OCs. I'm so sorry for those who follow me for my writing instead of art/OC stuff. I'm also still very behind with the game's story, so this might be updated once I get farther. Here's meh girl @genshin-obsessed! (I had to do a picrew for now, I'll do the actual drawing soon)

"My current life may be a lie...but I'll live on this lie as long as no one realizes I'm her."

Lotus

ロータス

Nicknames:

Flower - Childe

Lilliana (Real Name)

Young One - Zhongli

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Home-Region: Mondstadt

Age: 18 (Appears) 1,000+ (Real)

Birthday: September 19th

Zodiac: Virgo

Sexuality: Pansexual

Bloodtype: O-

----💢----

Weapon: Polearm

Vision: Hydro

Constellation: Hippocampus

Affiliation: Neutral

----💢----

Haircolor: White

Eyecolor: Lawnclipping green

Height: 162cm | 5'4

Weight: 113lbs | 51kg

Bodytype: Slight hourglass, average

Motif Flower: Lotus (rebirth, enlightenment)

Scars/Birthmarks: Many scars around her body, a small heart on her shoulder

Expression: Smile, slight concern, neutral

Voice | VA: (English) Paula Tiso (Camilla - Fire Emblem Fates)

(Japanese) Miyuki Sawashiro (Camilla - Fire Emblem Fates)

(I had way too much trouble trying to find Chinese and Korean VAs so I'll keep trying, for now though it's just Japanese and English)

----💢----

Favorite Food: Peach Sorbet

Least Favorite Food: Wine

Likes: Sweets, making shapes using Hydro, playing with the children around Mondstadt and Liyue

Dislikes: Talking about her past/curse, alcohol

Hobbies: Painting

Talents: Staying hidden

MBTI: INFP

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Personality:

Lotus is generally a happy person. She's had many all time lows and still deals with them now, but she's gotten better at hiding what she's going through. Lotus does have some evil intent hidden away in her soul, but it only rises to the surface when someone mentions Lilliana or when someone asks about her curse.

Backstory:

Lotus' backstory is an interesting one. To put it simply, her bloodline is cursed. Since the curse wasn't predictable, you wouldn't know you have it until many years pass and you don't look any older. Unfortunately for Lotus, she had the curse and outlived her parents, along with many other family members. She changed her identity after her parents passed and made missing posters for herself. Lotus then fled to Liyue. She still visits Mondstadt, which is how she meets the Traveler.

Fun Facts:

• The curse (deemed the Amaran curse by her mother) makes whoever bears it stop physically aging once they hit 18 and they grow immortal. However, it's unknown who the next in the bloodline gets the curse. With the curse, you can never hurt yourself with the intent of it being on purpose.

• Lotus didn't understand why Zhongli calls her "young one" when she's over 1,000 years old. She only realized when she found out he was much older than her.

• Her real name is Lilliana. Now that Lotus changed her identity, she treats Lilliana as if she's a completely different person.

• Lotus is a 4* playable character obtained through wishes.

• Her role is only important when the Traveler and Paimon are in Liyue after dealing with everything in Mondstadt.

• Lotus thinks Paimon looks lowkey adorable.

• She finds Venti's habit of speaking in rhymes...interesting to say the least.

• Childe called her Flower once and it stuck. She hates it.

- She threatened to stab his eye out with her polearm at one point.

• Profile Lines - Coming Soon!

[09yards]

Don’t Call Me Angel / NCT secret agent au | read on ao3 here

pairings: Kun x Ten, Johnny x Taeyong, Doyoung x Jaehyun, Mark x Donghyuck, Lucas x Renjun and small Hendery x Yangyang

note: I changed the pairings from the original ones slightly and apologies for that but I think the story will work a lot better now. Anyways, enjoy (:

“I do not need some six-foot, macho-man, babysitter, Kun. I think I’ve made it perfectly clear I can take care of myself and we both know I work better alone.”

“Ten, when I came over last night I found you crying on the sofa with an almost empty bottle of expensive white wine over Grey’s Anatomy. You cannot take care of yourself.”

“Derek died Kun, gone , dead , never coming back! He left Meredith alone, and she’s pregnant! Think of the babies! Anyone with a heart would find that upsetting.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have a heart then,” Kun tisked, “And seriously, what is your obsession with babies? Can you move on from that soon—you keep mentioning them around Taeyong and he keeps whining about how cute they are too. Babies are weird, squishy things, they are not cute . They cry and scream and you can’t just leave them to their own devices. It’s so irritating .”

“Jesus, you’re such a bitch. You’re my best friend and I love you but god Kun, you can be so mean . But we’re getting off topic—I don’t need a damn bodyguard!”

“He’s not some bodyguard or babysitter Ten, he’s going to be your partner —your equal, if you will.” Kun stood up from his seat and walked around his desk to lean against it, gaze firm and business face on. “The two of you will be working together . He happens to be extremely skilled in the combat side of things and yes, he is much taller than you and appearance-wise he seems more fitting to the role. And his looks match your work a little more than yours do. He’s ex-military, his file says a Navy SEAL if I recall correctly. He will make sure you stay out of trouble while you charm and flirt your way through missions. He will allow me to guarantee—or at least somewhat reassure—your safety.”

“I sincerely apologise that I’m disrupting your usual conduct Ten, but I won’t apologise for wanting to make sure you’re safe. After what happened with Sicheng, neither me nor Taeyong are willing to take any risks when it comes to the safety of our agents. Even Doyoung is being assigned a partner for his field work. Taeyong is letting him know later, and so I give it—” Kun paused to give a quick glance to his watch and then the clock ticking against the wall. “—about forty minutes until the coffee table in the reception is smashed into several hundred thousand pieces, again . Remind me to ask Jungwoo to order a new one when we’re finished.”

Ten let out a soft chuckle, “I’m sorry too, by the way.” Ten took a deep breath, his voice was much quieter than normal, almost as if he was embarrassed. “I get where you’re coming from, I’m just not used to working with any other people aside from Doyoungie or Hendery in my ear, let alone working with anyone in the flesh. The only person I ever had as a partner was you, way back when we were still rookies.” Kun flashed him a small smile in return, an acknowledgement of some sorts of their rookie days. The days before Kun left.

“It’s going to be an adjustment, but I think it’s a good thing. Frankly, even though you probably won’t see it at first, you and Youngho will get along great. He’s coming from a placement in Berlin. He was originally part of the European branch actually, and he’s also bringing three other agents with him—Jung Yoonoh, Lee Donghyuck and Liu Yangyang. I’m not sure what code names they’re being assigned as of yet. Youngho is fluent in both Korean and English, and apparently his Mandarin isn’t terrible so you can pick what you like but keep in mind who your in-ear is. Don’t speak in a language they don't understand. That will remain the rule.”

“You mean if my in-ear is, for some reason, not Hendery or even Mark. You do know that there’s been only one case out of the four hundred and ninety-six missions I’ve worked where my in-ear hasn’t been one of them? And while we’re on that, please never assign Jeno to me again—he was awful but , in all fairness, I think he was just scared of telling me what to do.” Kun rolled his eyes at the fact Ten has memorised his exact number of missions and watches as Ten had visibly relaxed once again, kicking his feet up onto the arm of the sofa he was lounging on. His eyes widened as he tried to remember the information Kun had told him. “Wait, European? Kun did you finally find me the hot British agent of my dreams? I’m ready for my romancing. Okay, that’s a lie, but who knows.” He shrugged.

“No. I don’t know the logistics of how he ended up in Europe but he’s American, from Chicago—the place that, according to him and a quick google search, has really good pizza and is always windy. I wasn’t really interested in his life story, I was more interested in his stats on his transfer application. If it’s any consolation, Irene and Seulgi swear by him—gave him glowing references from their time in Paris and said he’s easy on the eyes, whatever that means.”

“Ah, Kun dearest ,” his voice dripping with sarcasm at the added endearment, “How would you rate his attractiveness?”

“I don’t know, Ten, I don’t pay attention to these things. Besides, I’ve yet to meet him in the flesh. I’ve only seen the pictures from his profile that were provided.”

“Bullshit! Just because you’re all work-focussed and don’t spend time on tinder doesn’t mean you can’t objectively determine if someone is attractive or not. What do our years of friendship get me if you can’t even tell me whether or not he’s ‘future partner with mutually beneficial relations material?’”

The apples of Kun’s cheeks turned rosy at that, a light blush washing over him as he visibly stiffened slightly. Ten always found it amusing that even with their years of friendship and his own distinct lack of a filter, when it came to most discussions—particularly his nonchalant approach to sex and the attractiveness of someone—Kun would flush instantly like you’d just caught him with his pants down. Unfortunately, Ten knew exactly how Kun reacted to being seen with his pants down, a price that comes with having been friends for many years and Ten’s old habit of showing up at Kun’s apartment unannounced. It’s safe to say Ten avoided him for several weeks after the incident, and now he always makes sure to knock or text.

“He—” Kun faltered, “—I guess, objectively speaking of course, I might agree that he’s attractive. Although he seems like a romantic so don’t get your hopes up. God , I need a drink before I talk about this with you and the tantrum Doyoung is going to throw—oh dear.”

“No worries, I can help you with that!” Ten jumped up from his seat, walking over to the large bookshelf filling the length of one of the walls of Kun’s office. He rummaged behind several boxes of files before yelling, “Found it!” and returning with a bottle of soju. Kun doesn’t want to know how or when it ended up in his office, but Ten seems to have gained psychic abilities because he counters that, “It’s a need-to-know basis and you don’t need to know. But you never know when you might need a bottle. It’s handy to keep one around.”

“Have you got glasses hidden somewhere too?”

“’Fraid not. We do, however, have mugs so that’ll do. Shot glasses are a pain anyway. You have to keep refilling them and with a mug you don’t.” Ten promptly poured the soju, filling the two mugs and whispering “It’s our little secret,” before sitting down once again (with his feet up on the arm rest again, Kun couldn’t help sneer a little—he was a fan of the no shoes on the furniture policy, but Ten doesn’t agree to it at home, so why would Kun expect him to at the office?).

“Stop glaring at me, Kun. I’m not putting my feet down. Now , finish what you were saying about my partner .”

“I really don’t know much else about him,” Kun sighed, “he requested that two of the other agents also received a transfer and the third was given a non-negotiable transfer. He got into some trouble while in Berlin so they had to pull him immediately, but even I wasn’t given the details. I do know that he speaks Mandarin, so you can have someone else to practice with when you feel like, and I’m sure Xiaojun will be roping him into the Chinese-only nights in no time.”

“Kun, you’re supposed to be the source of all information. How do you know so little? Oh quit it, I know you only know what the profile tells you blah blah blah.”

“You can tease Doyoung about this partner, if that makes you feel any better. I don’t know much about him either but he’s another ex-military poster boy, Yoonoh could pass as a high-end model too. According to Seulgi they call him ‘everyone’s first love’. He has dimples that are apparently ‘ to die for ’ and if the photos on his profile are anything to go by, he has some rather... prominent abs. Taeyong described them as washboard,” when Kun had asked him to explain, Taeyong had patted the younger’s head and told him that it was late and he was going to head home. “I practically had to wipe the drool off of his face after he spent far too long looking at the pictures attached to the profile. Who even attaches multiple shirtless pictures to their profile? We only need one for identification, not multiple for Taeyong to fawn over. Jesus , pass the bottle, would you?”

“Kun it’s not even 5 pm, I think one mug of soju is enough daytime drinking while at work, especially if the new people are arriving today.”

“Need I remind you that I’m your superior, pass the bottle so I can drown out that picture. He kept making jokes about how I never date. I was young and hot once you know? I had fun, I got around, I wasn’t old and boring like I am now.”

“Kun I do not need or want to know how your sex life has deteriorated. I lived next-door to you in college—that’s all I need to know. You’ll find someone when you’re ready. Who knows, maybe you’ve already met them.”

“Have you thought about my offer to live with me or on-base yet? I don’t like the thought of you living alone… not after everything.”

Ten raised his eyebrow at the comment. “I haven’t yet but I’ll think about it. Now , tell me about Yoonoh.”

“The only other thing I was told is that he’s supposedly quite the charmer and sweet talker, however he’s always declined any advances made towards him according to Irene. He seems to have a naturally flirtatious personality, though.”

“Ahh, brilliant! Poor Doie is going to fall in love with him so quickly, I can’t wait . I hope Yoonoh’s going to flirt with him. He isn’t going to have a clue what to do.”

“What you’re saying would sound sympathetic or supportive coming from anyone else's mouth, but from yours it just sounds downright sadistic.”

If Kun hadn’t known Ten as long as he had, the eerie smile Ten is currently adorning would’ve been alarming but alas, once you’d known someone long enough, and you’d risked death together and saved one another’s lives more than a handful of times, and a large part of your job involves killing other people, it takes a lot to creep Kun out these days.

“Hey, your forty minutes are up now and no smashed coffee table yet—“

As if someone of a higher power was listening in, the sound of glass shattering echoed through the ground floor of the building along with several screeches from whoever was milling around at the time. This wouldn’t be the last time Doyoung would throw whatever piece of furniture he could get his hands on off the balcony, launching it to the floor below and consistently nailing the coffee table in particular.

“As you were saying Ten?”

Ten pouted and mumbled, “Never mind.”

There was a sheepish knock on the door and Kun yelled a quick come in as a response.

“Sorry to bother you guys, just thought I’d let you know, Kun, but I’m putting the order for a new coffee table in now and a new office chair. Is there anything else you need?”

“No that’s all, thanks Jungwoo.”

“Wait? An office chair too?” Ten sat up a little, waiting for a response.

“Yes, Ten,” Jungwoo sighed, “That’s what Doyoung threw off the balcony—may need to bring a contractor in to fix the dent in the floor, but I think a new table will cover it enough that it doesn’t need to be done anytime soon.”

“I forgot you’ve never actually witnessed Doyoung throwing various belongings off the balcony. The money he costs me is ridiculous.”

“I’ll leave the two of you to it. I doubt it’ll be long before they make their way down. You know what Doyoung’s like.”

“No worries, thanks Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo had only just made it back to his desk where Xiaojun was waiting with a fresh cup of coffee when Doyoung flung Kun’s office door open, bypassing the now sheepish looking Jungwoo and closely followed by an exasperated looking Taeyong.

“For the last time, Taeyong, no! It’s not happening! I work alone, alone ! Do I need to spell it out for you? It’s a five-letter word, of which the meaning is to be by oneself, or shall we take the definition from the Oxford Dictionary where they define alone to be: one, without any other people or two, without the help of other people or things.” Doyoung took a second to catch his breath in between sentences, “I don’t need someone looking out for me, I look out for me. I’m the quartermaster, I head up our entire technology department.”

He jabbed a finger in Taeyong’s direction, “I’m regarded as one of the best amongst all the branches of NCT. Yes, I hacked my profile again to look. You really should get someone to make it less easy—oh wait, you can’t because I’m the only one who can because it’s my job. I am not some newbie field agent who doesn’t know how to reload a handgun in less than ten seconds. You made me go through the training just like everyone else, I can tell you that I did not engage in hand to hand combat on a daily basis with Lucas for shits and giggles. No one trains with Lucas for fun aside from Renjun but its Renjun. That kid scares me, he may be pint-sized but if Ten has taught me anything, the short ones can bite and they usually have high pain thresholds but not-so high patience and I’m not ready to die just yet. Honestly, I’m getting a tad concerned at the number of people we employ that appear very cute but just happen to be capable of snapping your neck or blowing your head off.”

“Are you done yet?” Taeyong sighed, impatiently tapping his foot against the floor. He was fully aware that Doyoung wasn’t actually angry, he wasn’t death glaring either Taeyong or Kun, and aside from the coffee table no major damage had been caused. It was typical Doyoung, whine until someone gives in.

“No. No, I am not finished. Thank you, Taeyong.”

“Oh my, please continue, Doyoung. Everyone here wants to hear your pathetic complaints.” Ten’s trademark sarcasm dripping from every word.

“Oh Ten, don’t act like you weren’t whining to Kun about this less than an hour ago.”

“At least I haven’t been bitching to Taeyong for an hour and thrown a fucking chair. You can be so dramatic Doyoungie.”

“Dramatic? Me? Have you met yourself?”

“Both of you, be quiet!” It was rare of Kun to yell at someone, to be angry with them—let alone full-fledged shouting in the confines of his office. “Taeyong, please may you check with Jungwoo on when the new agents will be here? Ten and Doyoung can join the meeting as well if they stop insisting on acting like children . Apparently, they seem to have forgotten that we may all be friends here, but while we’re at work, I am their superior and what I say is final.”

“Sorry to interrupt again Kun, but the new agents are here. Xiaojun is with them in the conference room and asked me to get you as soon as possible. He seems to find them rather intimidating.”

“Right, nevermind Taeyong and thank you Jungwoo, we’ll be right there. You and Xiaojun can feel free to head home. I’ll need just one of you to round up whoever’s still hovering and point them in the direction of the dorms—I don’t want to be interrupted when we give them the tour. Have a nice evening, and I will see you tomorrow.”

“Will do, thank you. I’ll be in for the conference with Japan first thing in the morning. See you then!” With a meek half-smile, he hurried out of the office once again. Jungwoo wasn’t a stranger to the tension of the office, so he knew very well that Kun rarely shouted, and he wasn’t for testing his patience.

“Okay then. Do you two still want to act like toddlers with your whining? Or can we all go and introduce ourselves to the new agents with the manners and respect we would expect to receive from anyone else?”

“Yes, Kun. Sorry, Kun.” They both mumbled simultaneously, standing up and straightening their clothes.

“Ready, Yong?”

“After you.”

[cruciblle]

                 *･ﾟﾟ･*  𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚘 .

UNREDACTED  CASE  FILE  NO.  663762-XDL.  records  show  that  agent  bellitudo,  given  name  SANNE  SAEDI  SONG,  was  last  seen  in  reykjavik  on  october  1st,  2019.  psych  eval  describes  them  as  hubristic  and  incensed  but  otherwise  fit  for  service  at  the  maenads  agency.  at  twenty,  they  have  been  recruited  as  a  junior  agent  for  the  nine  months.  associations  include:  the  most  sinister  intentions  hidden  behind  the  prettiest  works  of  art,  plucking  an  ant  from  its  safe,  isolated  community  to  give  it  a  life  it  didn’t  ask  for  &  crimson  covered  palms  from  digging  sharp  nails  into  the  flesh.      -      kim  doyeon,  cis  female,  she  /  her  .

okay  ,  hi  everyone  ,  i'm  lit  rally  so  excited  for  this  i  have  no  other  words  to  say  .  i'm  cc  from  the  cst  tz  &  i've  been  dying  to  play  sanne  for  months  now  ,  but  i've  never  found  the  correct  place  to  bring  her  ?  anyway  ,  this  is  really  long  &  winded  &  dramatic  &  stuff  so  pls  ,,  if  u  wanna  skip  to  the  tl;dr  pls  do  .  like  this  &  i'll  slide  into  ur  messages  ,  but  love  u  all  !

𝓲.     𝚊𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚐𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝   .

full   name   :   sanne   saedi   song   /   성 새디 age   :  twenty gender   /   pronouns   :  cis gendered   female   /   she / hers sexuality   :  pansexual  /  panromantic hometown   :  unknown codename :  bellitudo   ,   beauty   in   latin position :  junior  agent  faceclaim :  kim  doyeon 

fun facts : knows  five  languages  (  english  ,  korean  ,  swedish  ,  arabic  &  chinese  )    &   is   in   the   process   of   learning   more  ,  spent  a  few  weeks  on  the  fbi’s  most  wanted  list  after  performing  solo  heists  &  building  b*mbs  for  a  few  people  ,  didn’t  have  a  name  until  she  was  six  shhh  ,  has  really  thick  glasses  &  is  as  blind  as  a  bat  ,  has  a  genius-level  iq  but  doesn’t  utilize  it  often  .

aesthetic : the  most  sinister  intentions  hidden  behind  the  prettiest  works  of  art,  plucking  an  ant  from  its  safe,  isolated  community  to  give  it  a  life  it  didn’t  ask  for  ,  learning  things  on  a  whim  that’ll  help  later  in  life  ,  creating  a  wicked  name  for  yourself  among  the  lowest  reputables  ,  escaping  with  a  singed  cape   &  crimson  covered  palms  from  digging  sharp  nails  into  the  flesh.

𝓲𝓲.     𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢   .

BEFORE , blood & general criminal activity tw !

a  beautiful  baby  ripped  from  her  mother’s  womb  ,  unwilling  to  turn  the  right  way  to  be  born  &  forcing  her  way  out  with  blood  already  on  her  hands  .  her  parents  ,  two  unwanteds  with  a  rap  sheet  longer  than  the  great  wall  of  china  that  have  her  on  accident  –  the  young  mother  unaware  of  her  pregnancy  until  her  husband’s  cutting  into  her  stomach  &  pulling  a  child  from  her  .  she  doesn’t  survive  &  the  first  time  she  sees  her  mother  ,  she’s  left  in  a  puddle  of  blood  in  a  hotel  bathroom  .

she  doesn’t  remember  ,  obviously  ,  but  her  dad  does  .  he  reminds  her  of  it  every  chance  he  gets  ,  that  she’s  a  murderer  .  five  years  old  &  one  body  underneath  her  belt  .  he  taunts  her  ,  chides  her  into  thinking  there’ll  be  more  unless  she  obeys  him  .  she  stays  under  his  thumb  ,  afraid  to  leave  or  speak  out  in  the  fear  that  she’ll  become  what  he  says  she  is  .

when  she  grows  ,  she  starts  to  capture  the  attention  of  people  around  her  .  she’s  beautiful  ,  stunning  ,  a  visage  comparable  to  aphrodite  –  an  old  woman  told  her  once  .  her  dad  doesn’t  like  it  ,  reminding  him  of  a  woman  who  bore  him  a  child  &  left  without  naming  her  .  he  teaches  her  how  to  weaponize  her  beauty  ,  how  to  use  it  against  the  ones  that  praise  her  so  much  for  it  &  how  to  get  the  most  out  of  venus’s  gifts  .

she’s  six  when  she  finally  gets  a  name  .  sadie  ,  the  first  guess  from  an  elderly  woman  who  found  her  wandering  along  the  side  of  the  road  .  she’s  never  had  a  name  ,  her  dad  refusing  to  call  her  anything  except  ‘you!’  or  ‘hey!’  .  she  takes  the  name  sadie  &  proudly  wears  it  ,  taking  it  back  to  her  dad  who  laughs  &  bitterly  tells  her  that  she’s  not  american  &  to  remember  it  .  they’ve  only  arrived  in  the  country  weeks  ago  ,  she  doesn’t  belong  here  .

after  she  becomes  a  woman  ,  before  she  can  call  herself  an  adult  ,  she  runs  away  from  a  dad  that  never  wanted  her  in  the  first  place  .  she  leaves  the  country  after  she  gets  on  the  radar  ,  spotting  a  wanted  poster  with  her  face  on  it  when  she  winds  up  in  a  cell  for  driving  without  a  license  .  it  lists  her  crimes  &  her  skills  ,  wanted  for  the  theft  of  millions  of  dollars  ,  for  building  bombs  to  aid  criminals  ,  for  creating  fake  passports  for  kingpins  ,  the  list  is  endless  ,  as  are  her  skills  .  they  underestimate  her  abilities  the  way  everyone  in  life  underestimates  her  &  she  flees  the  country  undetected . in  sweden  ,  she  chooses  a  different  name  to  go  by  ,  a  different  life  to  lead  .

sanne  chooses  a  quiet  life  in  the  country  side  ,  a  small  village  offering  a  home  to  a  beautiful  young  woman  who  just  needs  a  little  guidance  .  she  turns  eighteen  there  ,  keeping  to  herself  &  learning  everything  she  can  with  her  free  time  .  the  people  there  love  her  &  she  loves  them  .  she  can  finally  see  a  life  for  herself  when  there’s  a  knock  on  her  door  one  day  ,  asking  her  if  she  wants  an  opportunity  of  a  life  time  .

AFTER  !

initially  ,  she  says  no  .  she  says  no  for  an  entire  year  before  she  says  yes  ,  because  since  she  was  found  by  them  ,  she  was  found  by  the  ones  who  want  her  to  answer  for  her  crimes  .  she  doesn’t  have  much  of  a  choice  ,  she  can  go  with  the  maenads  ,  or  she  can  go  with  interpol  .

that’s  ten  months  ago  &  since  then  ,  she’s  been  studying  with  the  agency  .  she’s  fit  &  she’s  skilled  ,  though  she  knows  a  lot  of  people  see  her  as  nothing  more  than  a  pretty  face  .  her  dad  taught  her  one  thing  &  that’s  to  use  it  to  her  advantage  ,  so  she  plays  the  role  people  want  her  to  play  .  

in  the  agency  ,  she’s  not  proven  herself  to  be  much  more  than  a  beautiful  girl  .  she’s  not  a  hardcore  field  agent  trainee  ,  or  a  smart  biomed  agent  ,  to  the  agents  in  the  legacy  filled  agency  ,  she’s  somewhat  of  a  mistake  .  she  flips  her  hair  &  purses  her  lips  &  studies  in  private  ,  keeping  her  head  down  &  succeeding  without  letting  anyone  know  .

sanne  knows  she  can  go  in  whichever  branch  she  wants  ,  but  she  only  finds  passion  in  research  –  because  as  good  as  she  is  as  kicking  in  someone’s  face  or  finding  a  cure  for  cancer  ,  she  enjoys  learning  .  she  works  toward  her  goal  in  secret  ,  keeping  up  the  one-woman  show  &  she  pretends  she’s  really  nothing  more  than  agent  beauty  .

TL ; DR .

born  somewhere  overseas  ,  sanne  is  born  to  criminals  .  her  mom  didn’t  know  she  was  pregnant  &  her  dad  had  to  unfortunately  perform  a  shoddy  c-section  which  killed  her  .  she  was  then  raised  by  a  bitter  dad  that  dragged  her  with  him  through  his  crimes  &  stuff  ,  idk  .

she  never  had  a  name  until  she  arrived  in  america  ,  where  she  got  lost  &  an  old  woman  picked  her  up  &  asked  what  her  name  was  .  sanne  was  like  ‘  guess  !  ’  &  the  woman  said  ‘  sadie.  ’  &  sanne  was  like  ‘  yep  !  ’  &  she  was  so  happy  .  when  she  told  her  dad  ,  her  dad  said  she  wasn’t  american  so  sanne  has  always  gone  by  saedi  instead  (  새디  )  .

at  about  sixteen  ,  she  finally  steels  up  &  runs  away  from  her  dad  .  they’re  somewhere  in  america  &  she  manages  to  live  on  her  own  while  she  racks  up  a  criminal  career  until  finally  ,  she  finds  out  she’s  somehow  on  the  fbi’s  most  wanted  list  ,  so  she  manages  to  flee  the  country  &  settles  down  in  an  isolated  town  in  sweden  ,  where  she’s  chosen  to  go  by  sanne  now  .

in  sweden  ,  she  stays  in  this  little  town  by  herself  ,  falling  in  love  with  the  town  &  the  people  .  she  spends  her  spare  time  learning  everything  she  can  ,  from  languages  to  cooking  to  singing  technique  &  she  genuinely  enjoys  her  life  until  the  maenads  agency  shows  up  at  her  door  to  recruit  her  .  she  says  no  for  an  entire  year  until  she  gets  word  that  interpol  has  now  found  her  ,  so  she  finally  says  yes  to  the  maenads  agency  .

at  the  maenads  agency  ,  she’s  met  with  a  lot  of  the  same  stuff  she’s  met  her  whole  life  –  that  she’s  just  a  pretty  face  &  there’s  not  much  more  there  ,  except  she’s  got  a  lot  going  .  BUT  she  decides  to  just  go  with  it  ,  accepting  the  codename  bellitudo  &  playing  dumb  &  flirty  while  she  studies  &  succeeds  quietly  on  her  own  .

𝓲𝓲𝓲.     𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗   .

despite  her  quiet  life  in  a  quiet  town  ,  sanne’s  been  nothing  but  angry  her  entire  life  .  she  resents  herself  for  killing  her  mom  ,  she  resents  her  dad  for  resenting  her  &  she’s  angry  at  the  world  for  being  nothing  but  cruel  to  her  .  she’s  very  angry  ,  but  she  excels  at  hiding  it  .

she’s  extremely  hubristic  ,  truly  believing  always  that  she’s  the  smartest  one  in  the  room  at  all  times  .  she’s  been  on  her  own  pretty  much  all  her  life  &  that’s  how  it’s  affected  her  ,  by  making  her  think  that  it  should  always  be  her  way  &  her  plan  ,  otherwise  everyone  else  is  stupid  .

extremely  gifted  .  she  loves  learning  &  here’s  why  :  she’s  good  at  it  .  equipped  with  a  photographic  memory  &  a  genius  level  iq  ,  she’s  extremely  quick  when  learning  new  things  ,  able  to  change  and  adapt  like  a  chameleon  with  her  knowledge  .

also  extremely  stupid  though  ,  in  the  sense  that  she’s  gotten  away  with  a  lot  and  she’s  gotten  by  a  lot  of  the  time  because  of  her  beauty  .  she  chose  the  codename  bellitudo  &  as  a  junior  agent  ,  she’s  been  falling  in  the  middle  of  the  pack  .  she  hides  her  skills  &  gifts  behind  a  dumb  smile  &  her  looks  because  she’s  secretly  hoping  she  can  escape  ,  but  i  mean  –  she  kind  of  enjoys  it  ,  so  at  this  point  she  might  just  be  pretending  because  it’s  Fun  .

𝓲𝓿.   𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍    𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜   .

i  really  want  a  mentor  that’s  also  her  confidant  ?  like  i  might  submit  this  to  the  main  if  i  don’t  get  it  ,  but  any  kind  of  agent  who  sees  through  her  pretty  girl  act  &  genuinely  wants  her  to  survive  &  pull  through  .  she’s  not  had  much  guidance  in  her  life  ,  so  this  figure  would  be  a  huge  thing  for  her  .

like  ,  a  one  -  sided  rival  ,  the  one  -  sided  being  your  muse  because  sanne  genuinely  doesn’t  care  enough  yet  ?  she’s  just  starting  to  fall  in  love  with  the  idea  of  becoming  a  secret  spy  ,  but  she  mainly  just  wants  to  escape  &  find  another  small  town  &  get  another  new  name  ,  uk  ?  but  probably  rivals  because  sanne’s  still  succeeding  despite  putting  zero  (  0  )  effort  into  this  thing  .

someone  who  she  spars  with  /  trains  with  physically  .  she’s  by  no  means  unfit  &  she’s  been  in  her  fair  share  of  fights  ,  but  it’s  probably  nothing  compared  to  the  other  agents  here  .  please  give  me  someone  that  kicks  her  ass  &  then  helps  her  wrap  her  sprained  wrists  &  fingers  afterwards  pls  ,  uwu  .

someone  she  studies  with  ,  even  though  she  technically  doesn’t  ever  study  .  when  she  does  ,  it’s  extremely  low  key  but  imagine  her  studying  in  private  &  ur  muse  walks  in  &  suddenly  her  secret  is  exposed  :  she  does  try  &  she  swears  ur  muse  to  secrecy  &  it’s  this  whole  thing  .

the  agent  who  recruited  her  ?  that  somehow  found  her  in  this  small  village  in  sweden  &  knew  about  her  criminal  tendencies  &  somehow  thought  she’d  be  a  great  fit  as  a  spy  so  here  she  is  .  she  probably  holds  a  lot  of  resentment  toward  them  for  leading  interpol  to  her  but  honest  lee  ,  i  just  want  a  begrudging  enemies  to  fine  ,  i  care  about  you  to  that’s  my  family  thing  ok  .

a   senior   agent   that   she’s   a   significant   annoyance   to   pls   .

a   junior   agent   from   the   firebird   agency   that   she   ??   links   up   w   &   does   general   bullshit   antics   with   because   i   think   that’d   be   super   fun   .

a   regular   agent   from   the   firebird   agency   that   she   links   up   w   or   annoys   in   general   because   i   like   that   .

a  research  agent  who  she  looks  up  to  ,  since  it’s  what  she  wants  to  go  in  .

another  junior  agent  she’s  sort  of  friends  with  ?

someone  who  she  lets  her  untapped  anger  out  to  .

flings  pls  !  the  more  angst  &  drama  ,  the  better  !

skinny  love  !  

lit  rally  anything  ,  pls  i’m  so  excited  for  this  .

𝓿.   𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗   .

if  you're  still  here  wtf  ,  thx  for  reading  i  love  u  all  sm  !  &  i’m  sorry  it  was  so  insanely  long  !  i’ll  message  everyone  who  likes  this  !  if  you’d  prefer  to  plot  on  discord  ,  i’m  @  brain  not  there#0044  !

[christlovez]

A Study in Skulls, Sonnets, and Chess

Ello! I am only a beginner at theorizing for Sherlock and I’ve yet to read the books (gotta read asap) but found great fun in brainstorming. Hopefully this isn’t all a repeat of what the fandom’s been saying for months now!

(This post will later on revolve a bit around the Extended Mind Palace theory and/or meditative trance theory)

Quick briefing for sonnets before i get into it: There are some fans who noticed that John’s counting on of 57 texts in The Scandal in Belgravia was a reference to William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 57. 

Being your slave, what should I do but tend Upon the hours and times of your desire? I have no precious time at all to spend, Nor services to do, till you require. Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you, Nor think the bitterness of absence sour When you have bid your servant once adieu; Nor dare I question with my jealous thought Where you may be, or your affairs suppose, But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought Save, where you are how happy you make those.    So true a fool is love that in your will,    Though you do any thing, he thinks no ill. 

Modernized verison: “Since I’m your slave, what else should I do but wait on the hours, and for the times when you’ll want me? I don’t have any valuable time to spend, or any services to do, until you need me. Nor do I dare complain about how agonizingly long the hours are while I watch the clock for you, my king, or how bitter your absence is after you’ve said goodbye to your servant. Nor do I dare ask jealous questions about where you might be, or speculate about your affairs, but like a sad slave I sit still and think about nothing except how happy you’re making whomever you’re with. Love makes a person such a faithful fool that no matter what you do to satisfy your desires, he doesn’t think you’ve done anything wrong.”

Sonnet 58:

That god forbid, that made me first your slave, I should in thought control your times of pleasure, Or at your hand th' account of hours to crave, Being your vassal bound to stay your leisure. O let me suffer, being at your beck, Th' imprisoned absence of your liberty; And patience tame to sufferance bide each check, Without accusing you of injury. Be where you list, your charter is so strong That you yourself may privilege your time To what you will; to you it doth belong Yourself to pardon of self-doing crime. I am to wait, though waiting so be hell, Not blame your pleasure, be it ill or well.

“Sonnet 57 is one of 154 sonnets written by the English playwright and poet William Shakespeare. It is a member of the Fair Youth sequence, in which the poet expresses his love towards a young man. Sonnet 57 is connected with Sonnet 58 which pursues the theme of the poet as a slave of the beloved.” - Wikipedia

Modernized version: ���Whatever god decided to make me your slave, may he never allow me to so much as think about having any control over when you see me, or asking you to account for how you’ve been passing the hours. I’m your slave, after all, and forced to wait until you have time for me. Oh, while I wait for your summons, let me suffer patiently the prison of this lengthy absence from you as you do whatever you want. And let me control my impatience and quietly endure each disappointment without accusing you of hurting me. Go wherever you want—you’re so privileged that you may decide to do whatever you like. You have the right to pardon yourself for any crime you commit. And I have to wait, even if it feels like hell, and not blame you for following your desire, whether it’s for good or bad.“

Sonnet 59:

Mary is said to have called/messaged John 59 times in The Six Thatchers because she’s going into labor.

John says this number, ‘59.‘

If there be nothing new, but that which is Hath been before, how are our brains beguil'd, Which, labouring for invention, bear amiss The second burthen of a former child! O, that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done! That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame; Whether we are mended, or whe'r better they, Or whether revolution be the same. O! sure I am, the wits of former days To subjects worse have given admiring praise.

Modernized version: “If it’s true that there’s nothing new and everything that now exists existed in the past, then we are really fooling ourselves when we struggle to write something new, winding up, after much exhausting, painful labor, with a tired imitation of an imitation! If only I could look back into the records, even as far as five hundred years ago, and find a description of you in some old book, written when people were just beginning to put their thoughts in writing, so I could see what the old world would say about your amazingly beautiful body. Then I could see whether we’ve gotten better at writing or worse, or whether things have stayed the same as the world revolves. Oh, I’m sure the witty writers of the past have devoted praise and admiration to worse subjects than you.“

Sherlock in The Six Thatchers, explains to Mary that he knows 58 possible ways of diminishing variables and calculating the steps she would take. (despite the fact that he did not use this tactic to find her location after she fled to lure Ajay away. Tracer device n’ all) This mention of 58 comes after the mention of 59, which is also mentioned in The Six Thatchers episode.

Sonnet 59 is also connected to a picture seen in The Abominable Bride. The skull painting of the modern Sherlock world is blue with a rather simple plain background. In Sherlock’s mind palace, the painting is red and is a Victorian painting called All is Vanity. All is Vanity in real life is typically a more neutral brown than the reddish brown we see, and sometimes white. (The fabulous @cyntrix-gm helped me find this painting’s name)

Both the painting, and sonnet 59 refer to verses in the bible from the same book of Ecclesiastes. 

(Sonnet 59) If there be nothing new: Ecclesiastes 1.9: "The thing that hath been is that which shall be; and that which hath been done is that which shall be done; and there is no new thing under the sun."

In Scandal in Belgravia, Sherlock says, “The wheel turns, nothing is ever new.“ and Mycroft in The Sign of Three in Sherlock’s mind palace reminds, “What do we say about coincidence?” Sherlock responds “The universe is rarely so lazy.”

All is Vanity: Ecclesiastes 1:2 “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.“

John’s Chinese fortune cookie  says “There is nothing new under the sun. It has all been done before.” (credited post by @teaandforeshadowing)

This post by @lillabaloo displays a screenshot in which thewatsonbeekeepers explains that William Sherlock Scott Holmes’s real initials (WH) are connected in parallel to whom sonnets are addressed to.

His Last Vow had a deleted scene featuring Magnussen and a hospitalized Sherlock where a vase with a dark, withering rose and letter stood.  

(@cyntrix-gm found the rose symbolism) The symbolism of the withering rose: 

“The dark crimson rose has a meaning that has two sides. On one side it’s about sadness and mourning and death.  On another, it has a more joyous meaning - rebirth and love.  When someone you care about passes away, the dark crimson rose can express your feelings of mourning and sadness.” - website of Auntyflo on rose symbolism. 

Magnussen - “The struggling carnations are from Scotland Yard. The single rose is from.. ‘W’.. And the black wreaths? C-block Pentonville (prison). I’m not sure the intent was entirely kindly.”

(Fun fact: White carnations = pure love, good luck. Black wreaths = death. Many more shades of carnations appear in the scene, though white is the most common, next to pink. The pink carnation was said to have appeared because of the Virgin Mary’s tears, a symbol of a mother’s undying love- it’s no wonder it’s a Mother’s Day flower meant to say “I will never forget you“. It also is a flower of support. [Info from: Teleflora ... and Google])

Flip the letter upside down and increase contrast levels:

Invert the colors:

A chess piece with a skull on it and something that can be described as a lock(?) above it. The letter W has turned into a perfect blue M.

(Blue and red in the series has been used as a way to imply inverse or alterations, especially when it  comes to Sherlock’s poster, and sometimes locations within his mind palace. Curtains within John’s home [or therapist’s office?..that office changes a lot too, to be honest,] in season 4 turn red, when before they had been blue.)

Mary in the Abominable Bride opens a letter from Mycroft saying, “Immediately.” It’s from Mycroft because later, as she sneaks with Sherlock and John to catch the Emelia Ricoletti culprits, she admits that she works with Mycroft and that he summoned her.

A rose and letter from Mycroft after Sherlock is stabbed by Rosamund/Mary? Interesting.

In the modern letter it’s hard to tell whether the chess piece is a standard queen or bishop piece.

This brings us back to the controversy surrounding season 4 promotional pictures, which apparently were copyrighted and declared as ‘leaks’, because they reveal important spoiler information.

It’s not quite known what the spoiler is, but the implication is enough for mystery.

In this picture, we see two bishops upended along with pawns, flying towards the camera.

“The bishop’s predecessor in medieval chess, shatranj (originally chaturanga), was the alfil, meaning “elephant”, which could leap two squares along any diagonal, and could jump over an intervening piece.” - Wikipedia

We can now say that the letter’s chess piece is most likely a bishop, as it very well references to a reoccurring symbol: The elephant [in the room]. 

Symbolically or literally an elephant has been hidden in rooms, for example on Mrs. Hudson as a necklace, in the back of the 221B room, and within John’s blog and Sherlock’s best man speech using The Elephant in the Room as a good tale. The symbol can refer to an obvious issue that John and Sherlock choose to ignore, perhaps their feelings towards each other (if you’re a johnlocker).

If you want to further analyze, the remaining pieces standing on the board is two opposing knights, with Mycroft’s king and his two pawns.

Knights: “Colloquially it is sometimes referred to as a "horse", which is also the translation of the piece's name in several languages. Some languages refer to it as the "jumper", reflecting the knight's ability to move over pieces in its way.“ - Wikipedia

John may be the “jumper”, as Sherlock does refer to John’s jumpers an episode before, in The Sign of Three, when trying to deduce who is the next target of the Mayfly man. If the chess pieces are symbols of people, who if not John would be the knight? John’s presence in this picture raises slight question.

 With all this comes the question of: who is Mycroft’s knight? And why do John and Mycroft’s knight oppose one another?

Most of Sherlock’s chess pieces are strewn on the table in front of Mycroft, and Mycroft’s pieces across Sherlock’s side of the table.

Sherlock is either unable to beat his own brother (so close to checkmate), or he’s passing the game onto us in this picture.

Mycroft throughout the series has subtexted queen status.

John at Buckingham Palace, “Are we here to meet the Queen?”

Sherlock - “Apparently”

A painting of the young Queen Elizabeth II, “Queen Regent”  by Pietro Annigoni in 1954, hangs behind Mycroft in his office. It’s the only wall decorative in this Sherrinfordian office. 

Moriarty’s stealing of the crown jewels could be a reference to gaining control over Mycroft, perhaps through blackmail. We know they communicated inside and outside of Sherlock’s mind palace, at least.

Irene - “Jim Moriarty sends his love.”

Mycroft - “Yes, he’s been in touch. Seems desperate for my attention, which I’m sure can be arranged.”

“And honey, you should see me in a crown.” - Moriarty.

This symbolizes a lot that I’m unsure of. He breaks down a glass wall after writing “Get Sherlock” on it, which I suppose means his barriers keeping him back are no longer there, and he can now become queen. We still don’t know what Irene told him in the beginning of A Scandal in Belgravia, and what could have possibly kept him from killing John and Sherlock at the pool (unless someone does know, please hit me up!)

In the end, Mycroft holds the power of the British government. There’s no explanation for how, besides that Magnussen also held a lot of power and it was through blackmail.

But regardless, Mycroft is most likely queen on the chess board.

Back to the letter W/M in Sherlock’s hospital room, the W/M stands for someone/something.

It’s easier to assume it’s an M, with the chess piece insignia as reference for which way to read the seal. If it is M, and the one Sherlock plays chess/games against is Mycroft and Moriarty, especially as Moriarty in S4 is shown to have worked with him, and oddly has also had a connection with Mary Morstan before John and her ever met.. it can be safe to assume M stands for Mycroft.

Another idea of who it is could be Mary. She did visit Sherlock in the hospital, possibly as one of the first visitors. A rose very well mirrors her true name, Rosamund, as does the wallpaper behind Sherlock when she shot him.

Though this is an overly prepared and symbolic way of giving a ‘ get well’ or ‘don’t tell john’ letter. (If you believe the Extended Mind Palace theory starting from the reversed heart monitor in HLV, this can also mean M is still working behind the scenes while Sherlock is incapacitated)

S4′s connection of all the people who ever pulled the strings of Sherlock’s heart and gave him trouble, find their place and connection to Sherrinford or through Mycroft, the one supposed to be in control of Sherrinford. 

Or it may not be so complicated. It may simply be Moriarty’s last goodbye, but if so, who placed the letter and rose there?

Rewind to the skulls.

So many skulls.

Sherlock’s skull poster seems to always remain blue before The Abominable Bride (Correct me if I’m wrong please):

Alas, poor Victor.

Odd glass-ish ball on Mycroft’s desk possibly resembles a skull at certain angles.

Perfectly normal, unusually well-lit poster here.

Stop laughing at me, Mr. Skull. You’ve gone purple, and I’ve never heard of a pirate having a purple flag.

Blue, the shade of TD-12, Mary’s death scene, and lies. Fascinatingly vague information.

Skull picture is blacked out in TLD, while Sherlock is with Culverton at the hospital. Which brings me to realize.. 

If Sherlock is unconscious, who’s manning the mind palace?

Is him being unconscious in the hospital bed a thing of consciousness awareness? He may still be in the hospital outside of mind palace, after all. 

John is often wearing colors that match the Mind Palace skull paintings. John seemed to be subtextually connected with Sherlock’s skulls since the beginning of A Study in Pink where John says about the mantelpiece’s skull, “So I’m a replacement for your skull?” and Sherlock says, “Don’t worry, you’re doing fine.” Sherlock upon John’s first seeing the skull claims that it’s his ‘friend’ of a sort. In Sherlock’s mind palace, after HLV, John may be even more connected to the skulls.

The skull poster is also symmetrically aligned with John’s chair, just as the shifty orange lamp and smiley face is aligned with Sherlock’s chair. The room is rather deliberately a half-n-half of John and Sherlock, John’s side being more green, and Sherlock’s being more beige.

In narration, it always seems to matter who’s sitting on the right or left side of the flat. Clients must sit in the middle while John and Sherlock sit in their respected spots. Moriarty chooses to sit in John’s seat as an act of domination over their balance of things, which can lead us to assume that Sherlock offering his own chair is in an ode of respect towards John rather than Moriarty. Which leads me to believe the placement of the skull poster (and smiley face), is even more correlated with John’s place in the Mind Palace.

During Mary’s frankly unreal monologue at the end of The Final Problem, we see the skull picture again, purple/gray and appearing very dark, digital and coded. It’s a sign that things aren’t finish yet.

I may edit this bit later if I notice anything else.

Interesting post regarding the skull poster  by @the-7-percent-solution

(to those tagged, please let me know if you want me to uncredit!)

(Gradually migrating Sherlock posts from this blog to @all-is-v-57)

[theconservativebrief]

Halfway through The Meg, I squinted at my notes and realized I’d just been writing down names of other blockbusters I’d seen this summer. And in the case of The Meg (a.k.a. Jason Statham Fights a Giant Prehistoric Shark), that’s a feature, not a bug.

To call the film “derivative” isn’t pejorative; it’s kind of the point. The Meg is a shark movie (a well-established and dearly loved summer blockbuster subgenre since Jaws codified it in 1975) starring Jason Statham (an action subgenre unto himself) that never gets too ambitious, despite the size of its “monster,” as several people call the shark. There’s some sluggish action, a little tension, a few clearly telegraphed jump scares, a bit of romance, a cute kid, and some blandly conceived wisecracks nestled into blandly conceived dialogue.

What results is a film that’s both eminently watchable and eminently skippable. Based on the novels by Steve Alten, The Meg may be the Platonic ideal of a big, brainless summer movie: fun to watch and very easy to forget. It’s exactly the movie you’re expecting.

In a sense, The Meg’s predictability works in its favor; late-summer entertainment often seems engineered to give people an excuse to enjoy overactive air conditioning for a few hours without having to think too hard about what’s playing in front of them. But it’s also a bit of a shame, since the posters for The Meg suggested something epic, visually stunning, and a tad quippier — both a shark movie and a feature-length joke about shark movies.

Instead, in the hands of Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure), it’s just a shark movie, and a kind of inert one at that.

Bingbing Li and Jason Statham in The Meg. Daniel Smith/Warner Bros.

The titular Meg is a megalodon, a theoretically extinct 90-foot shark that could bite a whale in half and had no natural predators. Well, you’ve guessed correctly: It’s not so extinct anymore! Turns out the Meg has been lurking in a previously undiscovered area of the deep seas and is inadvertently loosed by a deep sea exploration team based on a deep-sea exploration rig and bankrolled by a rich guy named Morris (Rainn Wilson).

A number of scientists and specialists are working on the rig, the most experienced and prominent of whom is Zhang (Winston Chao) and his daughter, Sunyi (Bingbing Li), a single mother who brought along her own precocious daughter Meiying (Shuya Sophia Cai). Three of them, Lori (Jessica McNamee), Toshi (Masi Oka), and a fellow everyone calls “The Wall” (Ólafur Darri Ólafsson) venture into the Meg’s lair and get trapped there, while up on the rig the others — including Mac (Cliff Curtis), Jaxx (Ruby Rose), DJ (Page Kennedy), and the team’s physician Heller (Robert Taylor) panic.

To rescue them, they decide to call in Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham), who’s been lying low in Thailand for seven years after a botched deep-sea rescue attempt that he maintains was thwarted by a giant shark. He’s resistant, but he eventually agrees to go rescue the crew (and as it turns out, Lori is also his ex-wife; the world of deep-sea exploration is apparently a small one).

From there, The Meg follows a predictable path. People get into trouble because of the big angry shark that’s now at large in the sea. People are rescued. People are put in danger again. Rinse and repeat.

Bingbing Li and Shuya Sophia Cai in The Meg. Daniel Smith/Warner Bros.

What’s most remarkable about The Meg is nothing in particular about the film itself, but how often it calls to mind things that are not The Meg, and not even about sharks at all. There’s the obvious Moby-Dick reference (you can’t have a dude hunting a deep-sea creature with fins without hauling in Ahab and his whale obsession) and a quick, glorious callback to one of the most famous fish movies of our time too. But parallels to other summer blockbusters are what animate The Meg.

For instance, the idea that huge monsters driven purely by rage and never before seen by modern eyes lurk in a world of their own, separated from us only by a thin, permeable layer, is the basic setup for the Pacific Rim movies, including this summer’s Pacific Rim Uprising. But while this can be a splendidly fantastical apocalyptic framework, with lots of room for fascinating world-building, in The Meg, that construct is set aside pretty rapidly. (I for one would like to see more of what else lurks down here, but maybe they’re saving it for the sequel.)

Wait: You say the monsters are prehistoric? Well, well — Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has a thing or two to say about that. Both movies also have greedy megalomaniac guys with a curious, ill-advised penchant for the teeth of their conquered prey. But while I wasn’t much of a fan of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, its best sequences come when the film tilts into becoming an actual horror movie — as did, for instance, a film like Jaws. The Meg, however, never gets there. Despite the repeated dubbing of the shark as a “monster,” it feels most like an adventure movie, and lacks any notable thrills or chills.

Do we need a bigger boat? Warner Bros.

There’s a handful of comparisons to be made between Mission: Impossible — Fallout and The Meg too. The former’s a much better film, but they’re both big action movies with big set pieces, and they both star action stars who famously chafe at using stunt doubles. Both also feature incredibly pleasant ex-wives encouraging those stars to pursue a relationship with the film’s romantic lead, which feels very congenial and warm.

And the most revealing comparison comes from the fact that The Meg is another addition to Hollywood’s ongoing attempts to rake in cash from audiences around the world. Its cast, which draws on stars from at least three continents, makes that clear. Though most of its dialogue is in English, and its lead cast is predominately English-speaking, its locations are all Asian — not wholly unlike Skyscraper, as well as the Pacific Rim movies. Like those movies, it also employs a joke in which an American tries to speak an Asian language (Chinese or Japanese) but does so badly, which suggests we’ve finally found a joke that crosses all borders.

But more importantly, this summer’s films have been a testament to how hard Hollywood is trying to make its blockbusters appeal to everyone, everywhere. It sort of makes sense: Big-budget movies need big box office returns. And in some cases, the result is also a good movie. And, hey, giant monster movies originated in Asian cinema, so in a sense, this is just extending a long international film tradition.

And yet the danger in trying to appeal to everyone is that you’ll appeal to nobody, and The Meg too often succumbs to this. (It’s telling that the best joke in the movie is a reference to a beloved film aimed specifically at children.) There’s little adventure in this adventure tale. Its monster isn’t really all that scary. The jokes aren’t funny, and the dialogue that’s meant to be touching feels lifted out of most any other film. You keep waiting for something big to happen, but whenever something does, you can see it coming from a mile away, like some giant, slow-moving prehistoric threat.

There’s admittedly some charm to The Meg striving to remain so strenuously bland, but it ultimately feels like empty nostalgia for whatever it’s echoing. The Meg may be the perfect summer movie for right now, fun enough to sit through for a couple of hours. But it’s unlikely to have much of an impact — or even be remembered — past the end of the season.

Original Source -> Jason Statham and a colossal shark can’t save The Meg from a lifeless existence

via The Conservative Brief