#FUCK this is making me want to go finish my wips 😭 time to open the docs

[duke-thomas-stan-blog]

(tags via @starlooove on the previous reblog, ID in alt text) THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!! literally me & a bunch of other people have made posts talking about duke for people who dont wanna read comics. for people that do there's some very accessible reading lists. and duke's not a very complicated character! he doesnt have as many runs as dick or jason or tim its EASY to get to know him. show me his rebellion show me his anger show me ANYTHING other than "erm guys what are you doing" "omg jason died??" "you guys are crazy!" duke holy fuck

this is a personal bitch and very petty okay but the last post reminded me of smth and i wanted to talk about it. sometimes i see writers go "sorry i didnt include duke i dont know his character well enough to write him :(" and like its valid wanting to not mess up someone's character but my Brothers In Christ. yall barely know the other robins characters either 😭 yall arent even writing tim correct to his canon personality suddenly it's a problem when it's duke? we bring up duke mischaracterisations a lot but Honestly none of the bats are characterised correctly 50% of the time. as long as he isnt "the new one" i dont care what u do with him genuinely. just INCLUDE him

[artists-ally]

{Train Wreck} HUGE UPDATE!!!!!

~~~~~

OKAY. LISTEN. IM BRINGING IT BACK. I'M BRINGING THIS SERIESS BAAAAAACK. It has been far too long since I have updated it. I know. I'm sorry my loves. Thank you to everyone who has kept asking about it, I haven't forgotten it. I promise.

So, what does this mean? I am going to take down the current parts for this series and revamp them a little, give them a bit of a makeover. I know exactly what I want this series to be now, and with the way the first two chapters are, I can't make it work. Don't be alarmed when you see them gone from my masterlist, they will be back.

I know I have a couple other WIP's y'all are waiting on, a lot of requests, but this is all I want to write right now. So deal with it 😭

I have decided I'm going to kinda go balls to the wall here on Tumblr and only allow myself to write one series or one fic at a time. I cannot have multiple projects open at once, I get incredibly burnt out trying to have so many ideas, and it's just not good for me. So, for the foreseeable future, I will be writing for Train Wreck and Train Wreck only. I hope you all will understand.

I will be finishing this series, as well as my She Gets The Flowers, Right? for Lucien. Just going through my masterlist one by one and making sure everything is completed before I start anything new.

BUUUUUT, I am beyond excited to start this series again. I went through it today on google docs and thought to myself "why did I ever stop writing? This is fucking brilliant." I absolutely adore Ira and Cassian's story, and what eventually will become Azriel and Ira's next. Just be patient, I promise I will bring this series to the next level. Again, thank you for all the support on this series and my other fics, I haven't forgotten them. I have taken a much needed break from posting on here, but I am back. And I am so ready to do this.

[comesitintheclover]

Six Sentence Sunday Monday 📚📜🖊️

Thank you so much for the tag @bookish-bogwitch! your chart is awesome!

I will remember to try that/ a similar thing if I keep having issues with this fic I'm writing (but I should at least try to slog through a first draft of my trouble chapters first - i just get so anxious that I will fuck up the funny-conflict and make it miserable or something when it's 'perfect' (but vague af) in my brain and has been that way for 4 years...).

And thank you everyone who has tagged me in the last months/year <3 @nausikaaa, @ileadacharmedlife, @monbons, @supercutedinosaurs, @brendughh, @rimeswithpurple, and anyone else if I missed you because my tumblr notifs won't go that far back 😭💗💞💖 I love you all! Thank you for including me in the community even when I haven't been writing for a while! It's been so inspiring seeing what you all have been up to and I've finally started writing again so yay!

My goal is to finish this fic I've been writing for four years (i've written what I'm estimating is 50k words freehand and am transcribing and editing them onto my laptop and I still need to write the other half ... hahahaha 😅. But I love it. ) called *The Long Summer*, within a month (the first draft at least, I'll come back and edit it at a later date. I want to post it on ao3 over a summer so hopefully I will be ready next summer! I need to write it while I still love it!), and then I want to write the first draft of an original story for a month or so/NaNoWriMo, and then I will pick one of my Carry On WIPs to work on (hopefully just in time to celebrate snowbaz's anniversary!)

(The Carry On WIPs in question: I'm thinking I will probably pick my soulmate au fic called Meet the Parents/When You're an Adult You'll Understand, or a trans au called Fraternity house, orrrrr this magical Agony-Aunt fic called Basilton Grimm-Pitch’s 10 Step Plan for Getting Over*(letting himself be in love with) Simon Snow ).

And I'm planning to interact more with wip-wednesdays and six-sentence-sundays from now on to keep me motivated and accountable! (hopefully this works, battling my motivation is like trying to wrestle a fish or something... i'm constantly at a loss with my brain - oh why won't I do things that I love and have time to do??)

....Oh and I want to make some Carry On animations.... (this is probably why I don't do things... Too ideas many and hard to pick. I tried to make a schedule last night that included everything I wanted to do in a day and it was 35 hours long... oops).

*The Long Summer* is a harry potter fic, and since I know all of you lovely people from Carry On, and I know lots of people avoid hp stuff for obvious reasons (JKR is wrong! Trans liberation now!), I will keep the rest of this under the cut <3

here are the first six sentences from my 💗beloved fic💗:

Ron Weasley wasn't an introspective soul. By the time something actually rolled around to happening he would probably have had twelve chances to predict it, if he was Hermione. He presumed something like this would never have happened to Hermione. Summers were probably a lot more quiet in the Muggle world, as an only child, with parents who weren’t - well Hermione was so smart she probably already knew, no there was really no reason to write to her. And Harry - well he didn't want to write to Harry about it either.  Honestly, it would probably be better if he never found out.

(I wrote these when I was 16 and they may need editing but that's for future me to worry about - rn I'm trying to push out a first draft as fast as possible...)

Thank you to anyone who read this far!

Hi!'s, tags, and hand-hearts to everybody 🫶 @stitchy-queerista, @umdiasujo, @carpeosculum, and open tag to anyone who wants to be tagged! <3

[solivagantingrebel]

Fanfic writer questions!

How many works do you have on ao3?

8! But if we count my other account that I abandoned, 10.

What's your total ao3 word count?

So far, roughly 142k words.

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly just COD fandom (exclusively Ghostsoap!)

Top five fics by kudos:

Leaving Your Heart On Fire - omegaverse smut amirite? (first attempt at smut fic too, which is, something!)

carry me in your teeth (with tender jaws of sympathy) - seal!soap x orca!ghost with hurt/comfort, biting and other shenanigans. honestly, i never thought people would like it that much since i hallucinated the plot & the first chapter within a day lmaoo.

Only Yours - another omegaverse smut! second one in the series, but whatever. wall sex galore tho <33

Sweetest Gift - lingerie & shibari & bdsm. need i say more

With The Softness Of Your Breath - what if hallmark movies were good, and ghoap? ALSO childhood friends and retired au + all the christmas goodness. this one is very deserved and i will literally kiss everyone who read this on the mouth for giving it a chance even tho i know first person pov isn't favoured in fandom spaces. i poured my heart into it, ty <3

Do you respond to comments?

I try my best to! Miss some sometimes because i'm too busy giggling and kicking my feet over the sheer amount of elation i feel whenever i get the notification.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Happy ending kind of guy, so none. Unless you count the letter. MCD 😔

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

CHRISTMAS FIC,, but all of them are going to be happy ending so we'll see!! my current longfics will take the rest of the year, or more, to end though, so who knows.

Do you get hate on fics?

No? But I did get a comment about how first person pov was something that a reader hated and they were looking forward to reading the fic with the tags & summary. Oh well, their loss.

Do you write smut?

ABSOLUTELY,,, i adore writing smut. right after fluff and angst, i have to say.

Craziest crossover:

None yet :(

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! I wouldn't mind it though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but Alex. i am looking at you with the softest, darkest brown eyes ever.

All time favourite ship?

GHOSTSOAP. but also capitaru and cami. if you know you know. i don't mind ghoap x reader too, but i swear they NEED to be fucking each other as well, no ghoap 'thinking' of each other as friends and nothing more. all of us are in love and fucking and that is final, or there is nothing.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Beyond Life and Death,,, im so sorry my first attempt at a longfic but i really overestimated everything before i started writing it. Still hold it in my heart, since it was how I taught myself to write fanfics in general but it's a mess, honestly.

What are your writing strengths?

I. have no idea. I've been told I'm good at setting scene (emotional, erotic, angsty) so maybe that? Words also fly out of my mind at the speed of light whenever I am deeply dissecting a character's inner monologue, feelings and thought process AND ALSO TRAUMA, so that too.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I would say action if it were me from the past,, but I've gotten better at it. So, for now, plot, but I'm working on it!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

HELL YEAH!!

First fandom you wrote in?

......JJK. You will not find that fic though.

Favourite fic you've written?

All of them are my babies don't make me choose 😭

I have no idea who has done this tag game and who hasn't. it was trending like months ago, so open tag for now! do feel free to yap about your fics and tag me if you, i'd love to know <3 (get some recs meself) ill tag a few but feel free to ignore me if youve already done it lmao @eiraeths @myriadblvck

[youredreamingofroo]

📩 Simblr question of the day: What are some of your favorite behind-the-scene screenshots? I'm throwing this out to gameplayers, storytellers, renderers and the like :)

thank you anon!! 🫶🫶

this question is from the @simblr-question-of-the-day blog, check em out if you haven't :)

I'm gonna throw in mostly blender (and GIMP) BTS screenshots cuz i dont really have anymore BTS screenshots from sims 4 LMAO (I also ended up throwing outtakes in at the end :))

putting them under the cut cuz theres A LOT 😭

the full body (and prototype) pose of the Nirvana x Vanella post

- -

"you got any games on yo phone"

- -

A wip that i never finished,,, but nirvana being hot and seggsy as always (I wish i was that skeleton...)

- -

I learned how to do text in blender for the first time

- -

If you ever wanted to know what the BTS for that last scene in the Wake up Roo post looked like, here you go LMAOO

- -

not much to say about this one, i think it speaks for itself

- -

whenever I'm doing stuff on GIMP that involves layer modes, I like to go thru pretty much every single mode to see what looks good and sometimes i get fucking flashbanged 😐 (i also usually edit in the dark... so its literally like a flashbang for me)

- -

And for funsies, here's some outtakes that I rendered and may have edited that I never shared :D

- -

if you remember my international womens day post, there was this scene, and while it looks similar, this one is actually darker and is supposed to focus more on Nanel's hand placement :) I didnt go with it cuz iirc it didnt look right next to the other panels, but it is very pretty!

- -

From my emotions/feelings post, this was gonna be the one I used for Roo, but because of the lighting it looks like his mouth is open and not him just showing his teeth in frustration (which was the intent), so I changed it to be closed

- -

I think you can instantly see something is off with Kyneva's eyes... 😭😭 The lighting made her eyelashes look weird so I had to adjust the lighting to be more central (lots of lighting issues with these panels...)

- -

So like the others, the lighting was just too dark and I had to add a brighter light 🙃

- -

As an introduction of the "story" name for Roo and Leo, I was gonna do a post (which is why I learned to make text in blender) where Roo talks about the significance of the word "Hiraeth" in his life, which is that uhhh he learned Hiraeth from Leo lmao. But now he feels "Hiraeth" for Leo essentially. I still like the idea but for some reason I just haven't vibed with the scene and just haven't been motivated to go back and make that scene now esp. since I've introduced the story name now

- -

I was gonna do a short sequence in the Obsession Desperation post where Leo checks his phone and sees the notifs of Roo texting him, but figured it didn't fit the rest of the post and veto'd it :) But I'm planning/thinking of doing a post where it's Leo's POV/Side-of-things

- -

OKAYY finally the last one LMAOO This one i've shared before and is still an outtake, but i just love it so much I wish i could just shove it into peoples faces like its a cake. Only reason I didnt use this is bc I didn't have any dialogue that fit this panel and it didnt really fit in with the rest of the panels (this was for the Inner Child post btw), maybe I'll use it in a diff post one day <:P

[leofrith]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

Tagged by @aeide and @ainulindaelynn 💖 I did this one a few months ago but a few answers have changed since then so I'll update those. 😊

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Six now! Four one-shots, a short-ish multi-chapter which was supposed to be a one-shot that got away from me, and my longfic which at this point I should have just waited to post but am definitely still chipping away at.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

33,030 which is almost double my count from a few months ago. Woaaaaaaaaahhhh

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Still Assassin's Creed, now dipping into Baldur's Gate 3 as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Still the same five fics in the same order but with slightly different numbers:

Hideaway - 149

Bright Skies - 139

Press On, Move Along - 94

Out of the Cold - 43

Honor Bound - 29

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Always.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Still Press On, Move Along.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Still Hideaway.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Still hate-free, for now.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure do 💀 and I've posted some of it since the last time I did this. I think the only way I can really describe it is emotionally-charged, because if I'm going to horny jail it will at the very least be in service of some kind of character development. 😭

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Still occasionally poke away at the AC x Star Wars AU, but I'm not super invested in it right now. But I'm sure that will change as soon as a new Star Wars thing comes out. Since I last did this I also went digging through the depths of my writing folder and found a Walking Dead x MCU crossover that I must have started when I was like 14 years old. Absolute fucking horror show that I am so very thankful I never wrote enough to post. 🤡

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Still no, as far as I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, except for yelling back and forth about ideas with friends. I would probably be open to it but also maybe not because I know I am extremely unreliable.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Saying "all-time" favourite feels a bit much, but as far as mental real estate and also just sheer number of words written, Leovor far surpasses any other ship I've been into. 🧍🏻‍♀️

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Since I did that ask game a few weeks ago, the Inquisitor Ahsoka/Rex starting a clone rebellion/post TCW AU has been on my mind. But I know that, realistically speaking, I'm unlikely to ever be invested enough to actually sit down and write it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm trying to make a point to read more fiction and while it's possible that the few books I've read thus far lately just haven't been particularly good, it's certainly made me way more confident in my ability to write dialogue that feels like it would be spoken by real live humans and not aliens pretending to be humans. Similar deal with internal monologues. I'm convinced that none of these authors read their work aloud.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Still generally the same—overthinking comma usage, editing while I write and therefore being very slow, going back and forth between being stuck because I didn't plan enough and feeling stifled because I planned too much. Etc etc.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I try to avoid it as much as possible, with the exception being words or phrases that are used a lot in canon.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Still Marvel :(

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Honor Bound is still my baby, but I didn't expect to actually like A Different Kind of Solace as much as I do, mostly because I didn't really go into writing it expecting to hit the emotional notes that it does. Also still Out of the Cold. There are some banger lines there.

Not tagging anyone because this one has gone around a few times recently but if you want to do it, you're welcome to pretend I tagged you. 😌

[midsummersmorn]

20 Questions for fic Writers!

Thanks for the tag @monsterrae1 & @spotsandsocks ❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

6

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

18,654

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly 911

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

emerald star in the sky

Touch my heart (and let it rest)

bated breath

I could take you

Why’d you only call me when you’re high?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I like to see what people think and to thank them! ❤️

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I couldn’t say. I don’t really go for sad endings, I will however say that surprise party fic has gotten me feeling the most angst.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

emerald star in the sky for sure

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, I mostly try to make it as tender as possible while trying to make it a little steamy.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I used to, you won’t find them on ao3 though lmao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes but not on ao3, they never got finished though 😭

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Buddie, as if that wasn’t obvious lmao

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hotchniss fic 😭

16. What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know lmao, I like writing feelings and stuff so probably that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Openings and fucking transitions.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am not very comfortable with it, I’ll read it but I don’t think I could write it myself.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Torchwood and then on ao3 it was Druck.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I can’t pick just one, it’s tied between emerald star in the sky and bated breath

Tagging: @hippolotamus, @honestlydarkprincess, @witchesdiaz, @wheelsupin-five, @loserdiaz, @prettyboybuckley, @buddierights, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @rogerzsteven, @disasterbuckdiaz, @spookylostboy, @911onabc & @your-catfish-friend

[zonerz]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by da bestie @a-problematic-writer for this !!!!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

There's 14 atm!!!

What's your total AO3 word count?

Sitting at 569,356 rn :] thank u Answers LMAO 😭

What fandoms do you write for?

MCSM, Sonic, Kingdom Hearts, and anything that catches my fancy and eye in the meantime! Basically whatever! Also got some FF and Danganronpa peeking in :]

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Answers, Would You Like To Dance, MCSM Prompts/Drabbles, Demyx Drabbles oop-- 😳, Sonic and the Black Knight? More likeSonic and a Lot of Trauma

Do you respond to comments?

Yes all the time and all of them!!! I love interacting with readers and having conversations!!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the SatBK one LMAO sorry my beloved. Maybe I LIED HOW COULD I FORGET. ALVI. IT'S THIS ONE.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Im honestly not sure??? They all, despite having their angst, tend to end on some hopeful notes or some kinda resolution 🤔it's also kinda hard to judge tho bc a lot are just drabbles and little thought experiments for me :]

Do you get hate on fics?

I've had the pleasure of not yet encountering any!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not my thing! I can barely write two characters holding hands without feeling like a whore LMFAOOOOO

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not typically where I specialize!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of 😭👍

What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

ANSWERS. MY GOD. I've been working on Answers since December of 2018 and she's still going and gonna be 5 years old soon which is CRAZYYYYYY 😭😭😭 That said, I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm still very excited for it and the future of it as I'm FINALLY getting into some of the meat of it that's been on the docket since 2018 :]

As for shortest, I'm pretty capable of getting a fairly long drabble out in just a few hours, so that'd probably be the shortest time I have.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not on Ao3!

What's your all-time favorite ship? From all fandoms?

I can't easily pick one but I do feel like Sonic and Shadow's dynamic has like. rewired my brain LMAO

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

the Demyx Drabbles mentioned earlier. Mainly because they were a set of character explorations and a lot of my own ideas and thoughts have changed pretty drastically from when I started writing those, so I've lost the idea spark on that line of thinking. Im still COMPLETELY unwell about that little weirdo, but in a different flavor now

What are your writing strengths?

Character relationships, motives, and dialogue and maybe a bit of ilke??? Atmosphere????? I do my best to write it well at the very least!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Action sequences are always a fucking bitch bro 😭 same with like physical descriptions and scenery--I don't know if it comes across like that but I always put in extra effort and time to refine these aspects before putting something out because I want them to be the best I can make them at the time 👍

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm open to it but personally would like to have a little familiarity with the language and its nuances myself before attempting too much lest I fall into the trap of like. Google translate ruining shit 😭

First fandom you wrote for?

Sonic!

Favorite fic you've written?

Answers is VERY much my pride and joy rn :] to me it's more than just an MCSM fic/continuation, it is 100% a love letter to MC as a whole which was just huge to me growing up. I've completely thrown myself into all corners of it's world and lore as well as throw in fun little references from things I loved over the years and done my best to stir them all together in a way that feels naturally cohesive, fun, and semi-realistic in a way that doesn't like snap a reader out of their suspension of disbelief! I want it to be engaging and natural and overall just a fun experience :] 💖

I can't think of anyone to tag rn (brain so so empty) so if anyone wants to take a stab at this go ahead!!! :]

[sensoryseekinganakin]

🌈🦋🌻🎈🎙️💌

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

Chapter 7 of You Have Got An Open Mouth, And I Have Got An Open Wound... 😭 no one on earth is ever going to understand how long it took me to write that stupid hair cutting part. That was the most frustrating work of fiction that I've ever willingly written.

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

I'm very rarely insecure about posting a fic because I'm very difficult to embarrass in any public way. I worry sometimes about starting controversy, but having really good friends who understand me helps me not worry about that. I get a little bit insecure or nervous when I know that something I'm very passionate about is about to be read as silly, but only in certain specific cases and probably not the ones anyone would expect.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

I haven't ever truly wanted to give up before because I know I'll always come back. Taking breaks is okay! I get discouraged sometimes when the intentions or themes of what I write are misunderstood, but I will always keep writing, even if it's temporarily only in private.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

I think my style changes a lot, but people who have read what I write are probably better at gauging this than I am -- I just write it and I don't have any purposeful style. I will say that my prose has changed drastically between when I first started writing obikin and now, and my works from more recent years are very differently organized and written from my much earlier writing that isn't on Ao3. I think that my word choice and figurative language have also built on themselves over time and the more I write the stronger those become. What does everyone else think?

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

I would LOOOOVE a podfic of the first chapter of Does It Hurt You? Do You Like It? Can you imagine? With sound effects??? I think about this a lot.

No One Asks Me for Dances Because I Only Know How to Flail could be an interesting audiobook and God Am could make really fun audio porn (sorry for choosing a non-Star Wars option). All of these are titled after song lyrics, so the intro/background music is already chosen!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I'm excited about the palpakin fic that I teased in an ask game thing a couple months ago, which I'm still working on and close to finished with. It's short, but everything takes me a long time lately. I'm also excited to proceed with Does It Hurt You? Do You Like It? once I pick up steam again. Recently I was inspired to write more Wintergirls fanfiction, which I started, but I'm not sure if it will go anywhere.

Here's the playlist that I've been writing my palpakin fic to (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/404qAv3CjhVOUcCjSkEeha?si=2c7d5ffb0dc34c5f)! I'm probably going to title it after lyrics from Beauty School by Deftones.

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I totally forgot about the ask game 😭😅 Thank you Violet!

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

"Oh. maybe they'll like this next one better 👍🏻*opens another wip*"

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

(i talk about a smut fic here for whoever wants to skip <3)

Off the top of my head, the Dirty Dance For Three (Arthur/MC/Isaac poly smut) because at the time @scummy-writes was that one cool person that i look up to and we hadn't interacted much up to that moment (and now is That one cool person that i look up to and we frens :)) *blushes*) so that's one factor, another is, for some reason i took the ikemen gift exchanges REAL SERIOUSLY, i tried to give my everything to craft my giftees their perfect fics because it's like a very detailed and special request?? and i wanted this fic in particular to be more than your ordinary threesome so i spent some time wondering how to show their wholesome poly relationship outside the sexy parts 😭 it ended up being almost 4k words long and i wrote it in multiple sittings which happens very rarely for me,,,, i love it lotsss i ended up missing being inside the world of the fic once i got finished with it! i need to give it a reread some time!

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

Ohhh let me think... maybe the three headcanon + scenario fics with Napoleon ( Our Little Family , Making a home , A piece of heaven on earth ) - especially the most recent one about their family life, i was constantly doubting all i know about kids 😂 ended up reading tips on how to write kid characters (which is actually the first time ever i looked up writing tips) but then there's the historical facts i weaved into it, like the bunny army battle which i honestly thought i made up in my head up to that point 😂, THEN the kids' names. oh my god. i feel like some parents pick their firstborn's name quicker than i did for napoleon and mc's 😭😭 i spent two days looking up baby names from five different origins (french, italian, roman, greek, latin) , then i spent another two or three days going through TONS of pinterest boards searching for perfect pics for the post. but it was a labor of love. all of it. i do that sort of fic once in a year (typically my first fic) so that i can feel like "okay, i have one well-made fic about napo, i can go on without feeling guilty towards him!" it's very silly actually and it might sound like a lot of work but i promise you it gives me a lot of happiness and once it's done i spend a whole year thinking about the next theme :))) ❤❤❤

-> ask game (you're never too late to this!)

[maiverie]

NO THE TEXT BUBBLES IM CRYING SO MUCH :((( THIS TAKES ME BACK TO THE TIME I FOUND ABT UR BLOG AND TRAIGE :( THE WAY I READ ALL FOUR CHAPS IN ONE SITTING AND MENTALLY CRIED ABT THE LAST CHAP NOT BEING FINISHED. IM SO GLAD TRIAGE IS A HAPPY CHAP IN MY LIFE. MIGHT MAKE A JOURNAL SPREAD WITH OPEN SESAME

IKR LIKE 10 MONTHS :(( ATLEAST THEY ARE PROMOTING AND GOING ON SHOWS. I REALLY WANT HEE ON YOUNGJI'S DRINKING SHOW SO BAD, BUT APPARENTLY HEEHOON ARE FILMING EUNCHAE'S STAR DIARY

MY FAV BSIDE IS SACRFICE BUT CHACONNE IS SO CLOSE TO BEING MY NUMBER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FATE IF IT WASNT AN INTRO :(

I HONESTLY HAVE 6 WIPS WHAT AM I DOING SMH BUT I NEED TO FINISH MY SMAU AHAHAHHAHA AND THEN DO WHATEVER SHIT I WANT. IM WORKING ON THE HEADCANON I TOLD U ABT A COUPLE DAYS AGO.

P.S CAN YOU CHECK MY WIPS AND TELL ME WHICH ONE INTERESTS YOU THE MOST

(WONT WRITE MORE BC THIS SUCH A BIG ASK, SORRY MAI)

SJDJSK OMGG HOW LONG HAVE U BEEN AROUND TUMBLR??? :00

and yes you’re right omg at least we’ll get to see them thru shoes,,, also IM SO EXCITED FOR HEEHOON AND EUNCHAE 😭 I BET ITS GNA BE SO FUNNY HELPPP

and HMMM OMG ALL UR WIPS LOOK GREAT??? BUT OOF IF I HAD TO PICK,,, MAYBE GAME OF LOVE & WHOOPS, ACCIDENT SEEM RLLY FUN HEHEH but i think that’s just bc personally i’m a big fan of like rlly upbeat romcom stuff 💀💀 PLSSS SUNGHOON BEING A PLAYER AND E2L W JAY?? FUCK YEA ‼️‼️

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

sorry this took me a while to get to!!

Historical or Futuristic

Defff prefer historical stuff. Idk I’m not really into sci-fi? Usually I write/read semi-modern or fantasy stuff. I have a soft spot for dystopian settings tho :D

Opening or Closing Chapter

I’m gonna be honest here, I have never written an ending chapter. And I don’t know how to! I’m bad at finishing things! It’s much easier for me to begin. And not even at the beginning. I just write something from the middle of a silly plot in my head and post it and just be like “here’s 3 sentences of explanation, have fun” and that’s my idea of an opening chapter woohoo.

Light and Fluffy or Dark and Gritty

Seriously, mad respect to the people who can write fluff. I can’t. I am anti fluff. All characters need to be in situations. Dark and gritty stuff is great but I think my tastes lie a bit in between. It can’t be all dark and gritty. Gotta be a little light stuff in there. Something to hope for. Otherwise I get depressed. 

Animal Companion or Found Family

I have a cat. I do not have a lowkey kinda shit family forcing me to rely on friends for all my family needs. I think my OCs usually end up with nice friend groups rather than like found family stuff specifically. Also one of my OCs has a time kitty who can control time. I think that’s really cool.

Horror or Romance

Look. Cocaine Bear vs Hallmark movies. I know which I’d rather watch. Obviously cocaine bear is not peak horror lmao but girl I am literally so tired of the romance genre and it’s 6 million cishet white man and cishet white girl fall in love Twilight-ass bullshit 😭 Also I’m aromantic. Romance isn’t cool unless it’s dysfunctional and toxic as fuck but not in like the heterosexual way in the queer way. If you get what I mean. Or they eat each other. Idk man. Horror is better. Honestly I think whump could count as a form of horror itself--some of the most horrifying stories I’ve read have been other people’s whump pieces. Horror is fucked up and owns it and I like that. I could go on but let’s leave it there.

Hard Magic System or Soft Magic System

Look I am so bad at making consistent rules. I just get a silly idea and I’m like “yeah I’ll make that work.” I could never make a comprehensive system for all this unless I bullshitted it. It feels like inventing math.

Stand Alone or Series

Literally can’t consistently write a series for the life of me. The devil grants me my writing skills and he gifts me motivation at completely random times for completely random ideas. The shit I post? That’s up to Satan, baby. Also I’m bad at making series so everything ends up being stand alone anyways just in case I never write the next one. I love love love reading series tho. Shoutout to writers who can do that I love you all very much.

One Project at a Time or Always Juggling 2+ 

Just look at my masterlist. My WIPs folder has like 10 projects in there. Never, ever have I been able to do one project at a time. Too many silly ideas in this accursed brain.

One Award Winner or One Bestseller 

I’d get embarrassed if so many people read my book,,, also I feel like winning an award is easier to brag about. Actually no if I do become a published author, I would ideally like to have a small but dedicated fanbase that makes a fuck ton of video essays and dissertations about my book. Also they have to be at least 10 years late.

Fantasy or Sci-Fi 

I like the silly things you can do in fantasy. Like immortality and curses and stuff. Idk how to explain it man. Also fantasy outfits are cooler sorry.

Character Description or Setting Description 

I am so bad at settings. Theyre all kinda vague in my head. Characters I’m better at. Also cuz I usually get a visual reference for them so it’s easier to describe them.

First Draft or Final Draft 

If I can get to it, that is.

---

tagging uhhhh anyone who wants to jump in cuz I am become Tired and I cannot do a thought rn. have fun guys :D

This or That Tag

Thanks @verkja for the tag!

Historical or Futuristic

Hm…I prefer to write in a setting that’s loosely based on irl historically-inspired timelines. It serves as a sort of backdrop I can manipulate into an entirely different setting— which works great for writing fantasy. But if I’m reading, I love a futuristic setting.

Opening or Closing Chapter

Okay I love both but an opening chapter sets the stage— it can have so much tension and I love it when a story hits the ground running.

Light and Fluffy or Dark and Gritty

Dark and gritty! Serious undertones and desperate characters and the snap of a lighter in the background? Yes please.

Animal Companion or Found Family

Well, I’ve never written a character with an Animal Companion before, so we’re going with Found Family.

Horror or Romance

Eh, neither. Romance stories really aren’t something I enjoy and Horror may be slightly better, but if I had a choice, I wouldn’t read horror either.

Hard Magic System or Soft Magic System

I like the creative license a soft magic system gives me. I have tried to write a hard magic system but I often box myself in with rules that contradict themselves…so soft magic system it is.

Stand Alone or Series

Cannot for the life of me write a stand alone. The stories always drag on way past the ending I had planned so I usually try to write in trilogies or in interconnected stories.

One Project at a Time or Always Juggling 2+

Oh lord, I wish I wasn’t juggling so many. But my brain refuses to just work on one WIP— always bringing in different ideas, like the jerk it is.

One Award Winner or One Bestseller

If I was ever traditionally published, then I’d have to go with the award winner. I feel like it would be more satisfying, but idk.

Fantasy or Sci-Fi

Fantasy. Yes. That’s all >:D

Character Description or Setting Description

I struggle more with setting description than with describing my characters. I guess I’m worried I’ll bore my readers by over describing the scenery, and so by default writing setting also bores me.

First Draft or Final Draft

Ha it would be great if I could finish either. But yeah, final draft— I can’t think of anything I want more than holding a completed manuscript in my hands.

tagging: @kira-the-whump-enthusiast, @another-whump-sideblog, @whump-queen, @whither-wander-whump— if you want to, no pressure!

[dreamersparacosm]

austin butler - almost is never good enough

warnings ; angst, talk of infidelity, penetration (+18)

prompt ; in which your harmless fling with austin hits a wall, and you’re forced to think about the what ifs.

a/n ; how i finished this piece so fast is beyond me. i am amazed at the way my wip list keeps growing skdkdkd😭 some of y’all about to be real mad at me… because this is pure angst lmao whoops!

part one | part two

and it breaks my heart - leon

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

When you were five years old, you had your first crush. Puppy love, schoolgirl infatuation, whatever that event was called when your mouth went dry, cheeks were burning, pupils dilated to the size of a saucer. It was the most disgusting, disastrous, monumental moment that left you scarred for all of elementary and middle school — enough to convince you that you were going to marry one of your dolls.

However, despite the dreadful rejection and numerous tears, it was the first time you had experienced it. A belly full of sparkling monarchs and swallowtails that lit up when your little crush entered the room—it was a poetic vision, but also a tangible occurrence that illustrated the close connection between the body and the mind.

It wasn’t just a queasy stomach either. It was frequently accompanied with sweaty palms, a racing heart, and difficulty focusing on anything but the subject of your affection. And just as striking as the existence can be, the absence is noted.

That must be the reason you keep returning to Austin. Why you keep inviting him to your hotel room in the wee hours of the night, why you can't seem to get yourself to leave him alone, why you let him push you into storage closets. Why you don't mind when he's curled up on your bed with his arms around you. Why it's alright for him to tear through those barriers, even for a moment.

Those damn butterflies.

Your back digs into the velvet couch, the fabric burning against your skin as your repeatedly rub the surface of it. Sunlight spills through your half-closed curtains, clothes discarded and abandoned on the carpeted floor. Austin’s fingers curve into your hips, enough to leave a bruise within the next hour, as he repeatedly slams into you to the point of pleasant torture.

The thing is, he’s so fucking deep inside of you, chasing a release and reaching a place that you never thought was feasible. The tip of his erection hits that spot over and over and over, until you’re about ready to wave a pathetic little white flag and succumb to whatever punishment you’ll endure later.

“F-fuck,” is all you can manage to moan out, your fingernails leaving crescent-shaped marks as you rake them down his back. So much for no evidence. If it wasn’t 2 in the afternoon, in your hot, sweaty trailer, you might have shown a little more decency. However, it seems like morals are out of the question.

“Look at me, baby,” He speaks in between thrusts, sweat dripping from his temples as he slows down but still reaches that same spot, leaving you with an ineffable sense of being full. “Show me those pretty little eyes.”

You simply utter mindless babbling into the void with your eyes closed tightly, toes curled, and legs trembling in his arms as you take in everything he’s putting out. He dryly chuckles, bringing his lips down to your neck to graze over your scorching skin. He can feel your chest heaving, your walls clenching around him.

He grasps at your chin, wrapping his callused hand around it. Forces you to open your eyes and look into his, nearly freezing you over like ice with how bright they are. “There you are. So pretty, all for me,” He coos.

Your throat stings from the sounds coming from it, groans pitiful and feeble. His words make you want to retreat, make you want to dash in the opposite direction. But he knows you’re not going anywhere, not like this. You just nod stupidly, taking your bottom lip under your top teeth and chomping down so hard you taste the metallic flavor of your blood.

His thrusts are painfully and torturously steady, with the imminent threat of your orgasm looming over him. He knows you’re close, he always does, but he wants to live on that ledge a little longer. Live where he knows you won’t be able to fight when he says you belong to him. “Aus, p-please, I’m so close.”

He smiles, moving his hand to brush a strand of your wet hair away from your face. He’s good to you. In the three weeks that you’d been letting him fuck you, take you apart limb by limb, he never fails to let you cum.

You are well-aware of Austin's belief that fucking you silly will cause you to surrender to whatever demon constantly warns you not to get too close to him. Of course, you know that sharing a life with him wouldn’t be your demise. However, the action of it finally happening is more terrifying than the thought itself.

Late at night, when you're in his arms, he imagines that perhaps this is it, that dumb little dream will come true, and that he won't need to pretend that how he feels about you will pass.

But this time is no different.

“You wanna cum for me, baby?” He groans out, his thrusts no longer combining with your groans and his mumbling of foul obscenities into your neck. You look up at him, tears nearly brimming your eyes as you know he’s about to knock you down a few pegs, make you dizzy and useless. “Beg for it, then.”

You can hardly speak. He’s just so deep still, his cock resting against the edge of your cervix. You’re seeing stars, smelling colors, the whole nine yards. You wiggle under his body, whimpering softly. With no response, he just moves his hand to cup your face, rest his palm right where your chin is. “Come on darling, don’t tell me I fucked you stupid.”

There’s been a newfound confidence to him, something he had kept hidden when he was eating you out in that bathroom, lapping up your juices like a little puppy, submissive and brooding. It’s evident now, with his hand around your chin and finger reaching down to circle your throbbing clitoris. You let out a yelp, legs shaking as words become useless, just become syllables that live in your brain incoherently.

“P-please, Austin,” You breathe out, watching as his thumb puts pressure on your bundle of nerves, watching as he teeters you on that edge just to bring you back, knowing nothing will do it for you except the movement of his cock inside of your needy walls.

“Please what?” And there’s a little smirk on his face, just the slightest one, and it’s sinister.

Your words have no use, you’re grasping at straws as the consistent circling of your clit sends you into a lustful frenzy. “Please fuck me, Aus. Please. I need you to make me cum.”

“Good girl,” He whispers, and before you can take a moment to process, he’s splitting you open, breaking you in two, and you’re a moaning, dripping mess. It’s the kind of moan that feels as though it’ll never stop, one that ignites a distinct kind of fire in your stomach and leaves you with an uncomfortable but satisfying agony. His pace increases, your couch slamming against the wall of your trailer repeatedly, to the point where you’re certain you can feel the whole vehicle shake with how roughly he’s pounding into you.

He looks down, notices the wetness that collects between your thighs and connects to his own skin, leaving strings of your juices on his body. He nearly combusts from the idea of having you like this. Your own hand trails down to replace his figure-eights on your clitoris, your pointer and middle finger rubbing furiously, chasing that orgasm that lingers so closely.

“I-I’m so close, I-I, please, please, I want to cum —“

“It’s okay, baby,” He can feel it, feel your walls impending on him and sucking him in with each thrust. Feel the way your slick coats every inch of his cock. He’s right there with you, riding that high and on that verge. “I want you to cum for me.”

Satisfyingly enough, you listen to him.

His name falls from your lips, legs encircling the circumference of his waist as he feels your walls tighten and clench around him, a pattern that makes his own cock flutter. It’s like how it always is with him: an explosion of warmth that reaches out from bottom of your feet to the top of your head, burning all thinking in its path, enough to make you his.

He groans at the feeling, pushes his matted hair back as he feels his own release wash over him like a tsunami wave. You’re still caught up in your own orgasm that you don’t feel the sensation of his cum leaking into your cunt, filling you up to the brim and marking you in a way only he can. The bruises on your hips start to form, his body melting on the couch as he tries to regain his breath.

You just sit there, lay there like a useless body. Hurts too much to speak, to think, to even breathe.

He presses a quick kiss to your forehead like he always does.

Those butterflies return, sit in the pit of your stomach like deadweight.

Sometimes, and you’ll never tell him this, you live in that silly little dream with him.

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

Weeks turn into months. Months turn into… well, they turn into thoughts. Dune 2 filming was nearing its end, and with all the promise of its beginning, its finale was almost worse. You know that with filming ending, there’s only one thing left to consider.

It’s something you put off since you let Austin Butler get on his knees in that bathroom at that club. Something you had put off every time you allowed yourself to get closer to him.

So, you settle for the latter. Settle for random men. You settle for the idea that being used is better than being hurt. Because at least you’re choosing to put yourself in that position.

Late one night, when you lie in bed with another man, one who isn’t Austin and one who isn’t madly in love with you, you say to him: “Have you ever been in love before?”

Aforementioned man, doesn’t look a day over 25, all bright and eager to fuck an A-list actress, some European guy with a big dick who fucked you raw but didn’t eat you out, simply looks over at your from where he lies on the bed, and says, “Yeah. One girl. You?”

And you say, “Yeah. One guy.”

It’s not the truth.

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

“Are you still hooking up with him?” Florence Pugh is nothing short of a gossip. She spends her days with her nose in a good tabloid, although she claims they’re filled with phony lies and fan traps.

There’s something about her question that makes you want to double over and pass out. Or vomit. Or just die. You blink twice, “I am.”

“Hm,” she just hums from where she sits across the table, eyeing her food. You know she’s not done. You’ve grown close to her within the months of filming, and you realize that despite her need to pry, you’ll miss her. “Who was that guy I saw leave your hotel room the other day then? Or… the other guy?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, pushing your steak around on your plate. “Just some random dude.”

She raises her eyebrow in shock. There’s no hiding her expression. “Thought you said you didn’t do hookups.”

And you think of Austin. Think of how, before him, you were in love once before. You were in love with an athlete who fed you manipulation and gaslighting, gave you nothing but trust issues. Think of how, with Austin, there’s none of that. You should confront that fact, but instead, you mash it down and hide it. You shrug, “Changed my mind.”

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

The pattern goes like this: you pretend you don’t want Austin, you meet another guy, another random man who doesn’t care if you live or die, you let him fuck you, and then you’re calling Austin begging him to come over and satisfy you.

Austin enjoys the pattern. Or, well, he did. Used to enjoy it when he thought it was part of some sick cat and mouse game, thought it was intriguing how he could chase you. But, reality hit and suddenly he realized he was on a time crunch.

Four days left of filming. Four days left before he could make some sort of play, mention something about taking your relationship to the next level.

So, one night, when he lays naked in your bed and you’re somewhere up in the clouds, staring at the ceiling, he says, “Let’s go to dinner tomorrow.”

Your body freezes, thoughts crashing into an imaginary wall. You should’ve seen it coming a mile away. Apparently, when you’re fucking a man for over five months, there’s some sort of expectation that there’s more to come.

“Why would we do that?” Your eyes remain fixated on the ceiling.

And he’s an honest guy. Always has been. Sure, a little rough on the edges and too shy for his own good, but at his core, he knows what he wants and when it matters, he’s not afraid to say it. “Because I like you.”

You snort. He scrunches his eyebrows, body fully facing you. “Is that hard to believe or something?” He questions.

“No, no,” you say unconvincingly. “It’s just, I don’t know, I didn’t really think about that.”

“About the possibility of me liking you?”

“Yeah,” You finally turn your head to meet his lingering gaze. “That, and that I kinda just thought we were having fun.”

Bullshit. It’s a load of horsecrap, he knows it, you know it, hell, the whole universe knows it. There is nothing fun about spending months entangled with someone’s body, learning about their intricate desires, sleeping next to their warm body every night.

“Oh,” He can’t hide the disappointment in his voice.

There’s a bit of guilt that bubbles inside of you, swallows you whole as you look at him, see the way his face contorts into something unrecognizable. Because in that moment, he is fixated on you. Not some girl, not someone he’ll never see again.

“It’s not that I don’t want to…” You trail off, hoping to find the end of that sentence somewhere.

“Then what?” He asks. “Is it…me?”

Your heart crumples at those words, at the implication that any of this could be his fault. That you let this get so far knowing you would never be able to give him what he so badly wants. “No, no. It’s not you. Not at all.”

“Does it make a difference if I tell you I fell in love with you?”

And, there it is. Out in the open. Floating in the universe. You sit with the words for a few moments.

“Probably not.” You’re just as honest as he is.

“Really know how to take a guy down a few pegs, dontcha?” There’s a bit of sarcasm in that sentence that elicits a smile from you.

“You know, you’re just my type. Like, the too hot to be real kinda guy. That’s why I never went for you before,” You admit, twiddling your thumbs. Might as well lay all your cards on table.

There’s a glint of something in his eyes that makes you want to jump off a cliff for what you know you’re doing to him. “Thanks, I guess?”

Another moment of silence passes by. It’s almost eerie, if not for the premises of your naked bodies lying there, still slicked with sweat after vigorously fucking.

And you’re praying, hoping, that he doesn’t ask you why you can’t let him in. Because then you’ll have to be real. You’ll have to confront that you haven’t fallen in love since that stupid athlete you let break your heart, that every time someone gets close, your brain is telling you push, push, push, that when you see Austin, you see everything you’re scared of. Really, you should hightail it out of there. But, your body stays put.

He says, voice steady, “So… if it’s not me, then what is it? You can tell me. I can take it.”

Then it’s back to your eyes on the ceiling. You inhale a deep breath, think long and hard of how to answer the question. You know exactly who’s at fault here. You want to tell him, because that’s the least he deserves from you. Even if it means reopening the wound that still feels so fresh and so deep. “I… was cheated on.”

His mouth opens and closes, tries to find the right words to say. You’ve heard them all before: I’m sorry that happened to you, I would never do that, he’s the worst. Austin just stares at you, eyes more forgiving than before. He shifts in the bed, moves closer towards you, “Did you love him?”

“Yeah… I guess I did. Or, I mean.. yeah. I did love him. A lot,” You dig your nails into your palm.

“That wasn’t your fault, you know.”

He says it with so much confidence that you almost believe it. It’s what you tell yourself to get through the pain, to coax yourself and move on. But it’s the first time anyone beside yourself has acknowledged it. You turn to face him, your hands trembling a little and your eyes a little watery. Austin's eyes change, and a hint of understanding appears on his face.

He’s looking at you like you hung the moon, not like you’re some fragile, duct-taped person who needs a shoulder to cry on. It’s the first time you’ve spoken about it with someone beside your inner monologue.

“I know. I do know that. But I haven’t been able to trust anyone since him. I’ve been living with this burden all by myself and I don’t know where to put all this pain… you know?”

“I could help you carry some of that,” He leans in even closer until your elbows are touching. It's strange because you've seen every inch of his body, but when he's like this, offering the world in the palm of his hands, it feels more intimate. It makes your heart skip a beat and your mind dizzy with possibilities.

You smile lightly, “You deserve better.”

“What if I don’t want better? What if I want you?”

It feels as though all the air has been punched out of your lungs, leaving behind a squeaking nose as it exhales out of your body. You don’t know how to answer. If you were any bit of the person you used to be, you would have let him love you the way you deserve. “Austin… I can’t. I just can’t.”

His face falls, expression bleak. In the far distance, you hear a clap of thunder. He looks down at his hands, whispers quietly, “Can I at least kiss you one last time?”

In that moment, you find comfort in his question. You nod, nudge your head closer to him. He removes his hands from under the blanket, cupping your face and glancing between your eyes and your lips, the ones he’s got to known quite well over the past few months. You feel his warm palms radiate heat onto your cheeks, scorching you like a fire. Feel his lips graze over yours, inhale a sharp breath to prepare yourself for the impact.

And then he’s kissing you. His lips mold into yours like they always do, remind you of what it felt like to kiss him for the first time in that bathroom, how it made you feel alive again, how it made you feel like you could fall for someone again. It’s a kiss that feels like it’ll never end, with his hands on your cheeks gripping for dear life, and your fingers running through his golden locks, wandering down to his sculpted chest.

You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel a droplet fall between you two, your cheeks wet.

He pulls away, stares into your eyes that are glossy.

“You know what the worst part is?” You say solemnly. He nods slowly, waits for you to go on.

“I fell in love with you too.”

The words stab him, cut so deep he feels himself sink into the mattress. He’s capable of being healthy, and knowing where his boundaries lie. He’s had years of practice - he loves relationships. It’s all he’s ever known. But then, enter you: person afraid that if someone breaks down your barrier, you’ll collapse. And, that’s almost what makes liking you so fun; you challenge him to prove to you that there’s more to life than the walls you put up. You challenge his ideology that it’s okay to love too hard and too fast. Maybe that’s his downfall, that he consistently allows your world to shift his own.

You hear the patter of rain against your hotel window. Feel your heart split in two. He knows he has to leave. If he doesn’t, he’ll stay there forever. “I wish things could’ve been different,” He whispers against your lips, and stands up to dress himself and leave your room one last time.

Realistically, you two were never going to cross the finish line. But, despite the failure in that regard, you don’t have an ounce of regret. He showed you that it was okay to let that wall down, to not carry that burden yourself, like you’re worthy of being loved. You take that with you now, and although it might take months, years, eventually, the fog will clear and the weight will lift off your shoulder.

You’ll be free.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

masterlist + request