#FUCK parsnips

[momonica05]

He

He added carrots

He added carrots to stardew valley...

I've never been happier

[b4kuch1n]

siren

[dearlystars]

brian pasternack has rizz so deep in the negatives that it somehow manages to wrap back around to somehow someway ungodly mountains of the stuff. he falls flat on his face trying to get into the elevator and half the office that's still coherent enough to think has the "ohhh i can't not fuck him" panel from neil cicierega's hit comic ariel needs legs flash in their mind so fast and repetitively that at least two of them might enter an epileptic episode because of it

[canisvesperus]

Oh fuck it. That which is real is irreplaceable. 2011-2014.

[buckets-of-dirt]

I absolutely love archaeology and being an archaeologist, but today was one of those days that makes me want to write a letter to past Wally telling him to go into something sensible, like accounting or perhaps underwater basket weaving

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 4

"The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones" by The Mountain Goats

[harrysnotechanges]

.

[infinitekitties]

behold: the world's dumbest little animal

[senselessalchemist]

Been so busy with work I forgot to be depressed about holidays. Luckily I fixed that by getting off work early today

This helped tho

[megamewtwos]

Voltaic Will

just barely missing being called a drabble! Also on AO3 here. an OC of mine that I've barely spoken about here yet, Binx is left to wander the city as his father works. Following his feet into a situation he couldn't have imagined. Written in first person! Word Count: 1009 Characters: Binx (OC), Volkner, Flint Info: Binx is a fan-kid for Volkner! In my main setting I write Volkner being in his mid-late 40's when platinum happens. My timeline charts are too detailed. If I continue these you'll get the chance to meet his brother as well. This takes place well before Platinum.

It was all on a whim really.

Waiting for dad to get out of work so he could come home with the next insane thing he came up with to build from the ever growing piles of scrap in the workshop. Eating instant food out of the same beige scratched up bowls he bought when I was 5. Was still sick back then, fell asleep to the cranking of a wrench or clicking of the welder. 

Same yesterday as the day before, waiting and wandering around town aimlessly with my Shinx at my heels. Carrying the big idiot every time he tried to pick a fight with the local streetlife. Buying snacks with pocket money won from the kids around town. Always thought they would get better, maybe even beat me someday. They never did. 

My feet took me out of town, the sun beating down on my back to leave another sunburn the old man would get on me about. I never could remember the sunscreen no matter how often it happened. Said I'd get skin cancer or something someday from it, the worst I got so far was a mess of freckles. 

The whim though, that's where my mind wandered two hours out from town. The Idea that drove me out of town. That lake that everyone told me was special. Some kind of guardian that gave us the will to keep going. Keeps us moving forward.

It sounded nice, and I couldn't remember why I was doing much of anything anymore. Something that sat in my bones and filled my head with dreams left me behind. Kept moving forward, forget that it had a job to do. Maybe whatever was in that lake had it. Gave it to someone better, more deserving of it. 

The lake wasn't too far then. I could see the forest surrounding it leaking between the corners of the hills. Desperate to spread beyond its limits despite being chopped back over and over again. Could the trees feel that itch? That haze of static over your skin as you got closer to the water? By the time I broke the treeline and saw the lake I was sprinting. Air heavy in my lungs as I fell to my knees.

My reflection stared back at me, foggy sunglasses surrounded by a ruddy face smattered with freckles. Hair sticking to the sweat on my forehead as it ran in rivers to my chin. Shirt damp and limply clinging to my skin as I dropped my jacket on the grass.

The sky was red, sunset looming heavy over the water full of threats of dark woods and stern words from dad. He should be home soon. Work always let him out just before dusk, long enough light left to stop at the corner store and drag home something sweet for me. Always looked forward to doughnut days. Rare treats they were though, dad said they were expensive. 

My attention snapped back to the lake again, a fine mist crawling over the water and rising like a tide over the rocky island sitting center stage in the waves. 

That fizzle ran over my skin again, humming under the surface like jet fuel waiting for its spark. I rose to my feet. 

My hand met the water before I realized I was running. 

The ground giving way under my feet, the surface tension not being able to hold the weight of a 12 year old boy with fire in his blood.

The water was cool. Cold even. Whatever spark it was kept that realization heavy in the back of my head as I swam to that island. I'd never swam so far in my life. Even living on the coast dad and I only made it to the ocean when his friend visited with his little brother. 

I hadn't seen them in a while. I hoped Buck was doing ok. 

The stone under my hands was sharp as I climbed to the peak of that island. It jutted out of the water in defiance. The entrance to its cave was hidden in the stone and shaped in such a way that water couldn't get into that gaping hole. 

I don't remember much after that.

I remember the blood on my hands from the stone. The heavy weight in my legs as they struggled against me, screaming for salvation. Desperate for rest. I remember something in the cave entrance. Its eyes wide, twin tails wrapping around each other like listless DNA. White skin and a blue head, red eyes burning as cotton filled my ears. 

I woke up in an alleyway. 

Night firmly set into the sky, Clothes sopping wet and chilling me to my bones. I was shivering in Sunyshore. Still had my pokeballs. Still had my jacket. I couldn’t remember grabbing them.

I could hear dad yelling for me, that edge of fear in his voice I rarely heard. A desperation. My legs screamed as I stood, begging me to sit down again. I trudged to the sound of his voice. 

To this day I'm not sure if the look on his face was anger, relief or joy. He just grabbed me. Held me so tight it made my ribs ache for days. 

Flint stayed with us for a few weeks after that. Kept me with him all the time. I think they thought that I’d dissolve or something. 

Looked at me weird when I told him about the island in the lake. Told me the fences keep people out. That there was no way to get to it without permission and a guide. The guards patrol all day, he said.

I asked him why. He handed me a drink and shook his head. Never answered.

Whatever that thing was, it had what I was missing. My dad called it my spark. 

One day I'll find it again. Thank it. Even if  chill water on my hand makes my bones ache, the fog rolling over the shore driving fear into my skull like an ice pick.

[ampleappleamble]

Me: aw man i don't wanna be induced at week 38, that seems too soon! ...maybe if i'm lucky i can make it to week 39–

My doctors, today: good news! because of Reasons, you'll have to be induced at week 37

Me:

[femmeboyhooters]

Gotta share this somewhere but I can tolerate vegetables now!!!

[misplacedmonster]

Please look at my baby girl and despair I never post art on tumblr.

[grayh0und777]

I cant stop playing stardew valley someone please help me

[hey-its-caiten]

Lookit these lil weirdos

[infinitekitties]

said goodbye to my favorite little screaming pest today. she got out yesterday, and we couldn't find her to get her back in. i looked for her for hours last night, and all day today, and this evening i found her on a neighbor's lawn, she'd pretty clearly been hit by a car.

the burial is over, and she's at rest now. she's never going to be cold, or hungry, or itchy, or scared ever again. she'll never feel any more pain, and she's with all the other pets i've lost over the years, so she'll never be alone.

just. give your cats a good smooch and a snuggle for me, and keep them inside.