#FUCK YOU RAVIOLI I HATE YOU SO MUCH

[franticmelody]

thinking about pasta right now

[briseroyawritingsblog]

𝒊 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒈𝒐 — 𝑨𝑼

𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒓!𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

• +21 minors do not interact. this is taboo please be aware, rough unprotected sex, oral (m&f), foul language, mutual feelings, large age gap, manipulation, motel sex, dad!body (because it’s hot), biting etc.

𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 / 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

divider by @anitalenia 💕

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." you read out loud, the whole class seemed to be mesmerized by the verse you were reading. That was the last sentence before you looked up from the book to meet the eyes of your professor. For a moment… stealing glances and longing sweet innocent touches which were tiny. His heart seemed to jump every moment of the day as you two crossed paths and like that it was… for weeks.

But that all changed when you walked inside a restaurant on Saturday evening. Your family were having a dinner, so you joined them. It was your favorite- the ravioli were delicious. Ordering drinks, you heard a laugh. The voice was way too familiar so turning around you saw what you really didn’t want to. It was your professor dining with some woman, who wore a disgusting dress. She wore a revealing dress, and that caked on makeup god.. she reminded you of a hooker. Your heart sank as your professor sipped on his liquor talking away, with her and she seemed to be laughing at his little jokes gosh your stomach turned. Swallowing hard you tried to keep yourself together not wanting to cry. You smiled as you talked reassuring your cousin that you were okay even though your eyes were flooded with tears. What was that? All that.. was he playing with your heart at the end? You were just a toy weren’t you? You hated that he was wearing all black, which made him even more attractive. Those specs… his smile. Your heart was hurting. Were they in a relationship? Who was she? She seemed twice your age anyways. He wasn’t married anymore because you saw that his wedding band was not on his finger this meant only one thing- she was his girlfriend.

“Excuse me.” You breathed, standing up. But as you turned around you bumped into the waiter sending the glasses with drinks on the floor where they broke and spilled all over. Then… your tears really started to roll down your cheeks. You looked to his direction and his face.. he was worried. He only noticed you when you accidentally did what you did. Biting your lip, you grabbed your bag and walked out the door. You wanted to walk home and cry in peace. So he liked older women too? With slutty legs and caked on makeup?

-

“We need to talk about money. Meet me at the usual restaurant. Our daughter needs a new car and I’m not paying that kind of money.” the voice on the phone belonged to his ex wife. He sighed heavily sitting in his office- holding a coffee cup full of whiskey. Goddamn he hated his life. You hated him too apparently that’s why you ran out of his house in middle of a heated makeout session and now his ex wife wanted money and probably all of it. “I’ll meet you. Don’t be late tomorrow- who’s paying the dinner? Let me guess— me.” Another sigh left his lip clearly tired of his boring life. “Of course you’re. Toodles.” The line died and Logan closed his eyes taking another breath. He would regret this so much- why didn’t his daughter just ask him. Why did she have to involve the mother?

The sound of glass breaking caught him off guard his smile momentarily disappearing. He didn’t know that it was you. Once your eyes locked, seeing you cry caused his chest to tighten too. Fuck he hurt you didn’t he? You were thinking awful things about him now. So now this didn’t work out either you hated his guts. Great. Another reason to get shitfaced- just drown in alcohol. Because what else was there? He couldn’t talk to you in any way and you wouldn’t even let him explain. At least he thought so… you weren’t that childish.

The day started with a storm. You really didn’t want to attend any lessons- you didn’t have the strength to deal with your hurting heart and confused mind so you just sat in the library. Typing away on your laptop submitting yet another essay which was supposed to be already sent two days ago. Sighing with relief you smiled as friends joined you bringing smoothies from the cafeteria. At least the chatter would distract you for a moment. Seeing the face of a person you really didn’t want to see - heart in your chest skipping few beats. You had to ignore the aching feeling it wasn’t worth it at all. Taking a hold of your friend’s hand lacing your fingers through his seeing professor approaching your group. You sipped on your healthy smoothie pretending to smile but your smile faded away. “Can I see you in my office?” He let out a breath. “Sure.” You sighed letting go of your friend’s hand walking with him to his office. “What can I do for you sir?” You cleared your throat once his doors were closed. “I am so sorry. It’s not how it looked.” shaking your head with disagreement his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I’m sorry sir I don’t know what are we talking about.” he took a breath, seeing the look on your face. “Yesterday in a restaurant you-” you cut him off by reaching for the door. “I’m sorry sir, I don’t recall to remember. Excuse me- I have lessons” you politely nodded even though your heart was torn apart. “It’s my ex wife.” He blurted out at you. “I don’t have a relationship.” his answer halted your actions turning to him. “You don’t owe me an explanation.” softly smiling he seemed to stay frozen in one place. The truth was he was not interested in anyone but you.

“She looked like your girlfriend. I just don’t want to be played with.” Shrugging your shoulders biting your lip. He chuckled “My girlfriend? Oh please sweetheart. I don’t date” walking around his table to sit down you remained on the same place backed against the doors facing him. “But- she wore a dress and tons of makeup.” He nodded “Does that mean something? If a woman wears makeup and a dress…?” You nodded “yes it does. It means she wants you” he let out a soft chuckle. “My ex wife? She’s an old story. Besides she was meeting someone else after our dinner. I headed home pretty drunk.” Admitting even though it was embarrassing. “Don’t worry about it.” raising a brow you approached his table. “Really? You think I worry about it?” He nodded softly. “I-I don’t..” you mumbled out.

The key in your hand told you already all of the wrongdoings. “Motel..” you whispered under your breath. He nodded softly standing in front of you. “Meet me there tonight..” you swallowed thickly. “I can’t meet you there it’s going to be so late” his thumb brushed against your lower lip. “better late then never” your heart raced in your chest as your orbs locked. Gosh.. “okay.. I’ll meet you. What are we going to do?” He smirked softly. “Something..” leaning down to cup your cheek his mouth brushed against your forehead. Fuck…

The motel was definitely out of town, it wasn’t anything close to an eerie but it definitely had your heart racing. Parking your car, you sighed softly seeing a small light in the window on the third floor. Walking up the stairs you approached the doors with trembling hand sliding the key in and unlocking the doors stepping inside. There was nobody inside… the bed was primarily large for a motel. Shutting the drapes, remaining by the window biting your lower lip. Why the nervousness? Perhaps your professor just wanted to talk about some things- you really had no idea what he actually wanted from you this time. Soon you saw his car pull up, it was relieving seeing him show up. Backing yourself against the wall you waited until he came in. “Hey” you nodded “hi”- your heart seemed to be jumping in your chest. This wasn’t like the moment you experienced in his home. This was so much more intimate. The fact he was still wearing a suit from work- you figured he had worked until late. “You came” he removed his jacket throwing it on the bed. “I rent this room so often i almost feel like i own it.” He smiled and you chuckled approaching him. His large hand nearly covered your entire side as he caressed it bringing you closer to him. You hiccuped looking him in the eyes. Gently reaching up to remove his specs- his thumb touched your chin the tip of his finger rubbing your lower lip. “I wonder if I could fit my cock in there…” he let out his thought and the words caught in your throat making you blush in the cheeks. “You want to find out?” Your stomach was doing flips and the butterflies were swirling around in there. “Mmm” nodding, he lowered sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Between daddy’s legs.. come here” he pulled you down on your knees and you obeyed. “You want to call me your daddy tonight don���t you?” what happened to you? You were so eagerly obeying forgetting how sinful this actually was. “You need to tell daddy how does your pussy feel right now baby” cupping your cheek as you remained on the carpet between his parted thighs. “Mm tingly” you breathed moistening your lower lip by licking it. The view along went straight to his cock making it heavy and hard. “You don’t want daddy unhappy don’t you? Be a good little girl and open his pants.. his cock needs your mouth. We will see how it’s gonna fit” you gazed up at him like a lost little kitten reaching for his belt and his pants. Undoing each to get to his cock and once it was freed it stood proud and hard. Your face twisted in interest. “Something tells me you’ve never seen it up close like that” his thumb flicked against your cheek as he cupped it.

“I- no.. I never” you found yourself stuttering, gosh it was embarrassing how your face heated as he wrapped his hand around his cock stroking along collecting some of your saliva to lubricate himself you willingly spit on his fingers. “That’s a good girl” his nostrils flared as you watched him work his cock up and down. Your mouth salivated out of nowhere and your body was so eager, your pussy wept with slick and pulsed. “Come here” he brought you even closer, stuffing the tip of his cock between your lips making you whimper. He was thick, decorated with veins and gosh you sucked softly making him grip on your hair. “Fuck baby I always wanted your pretty mouth on my dick. Tastes good?” the only response he got from you were those tiny sucks and the drool which surrounded your lips coating him. Finding himself groaning as you braced yourself by touching his waist- smiling a little to himself. Thinking how of a sickly fuck he is for you. “Use your tongue” he breathed running his fingers through your hair wrapping his other hand around his length pushing it deeper past your lips. You whimpered taking a breath through your nose sliding your tongue on the underside of him. He let out a gaspy breath- bucking his hips up to push his cock into your mouth. He tasted salty, more like you imagined but that hint of sweetness kept you going.

With cum on your lower lip and chin, few moans of his later he was having you spread on the bed. Thighs parted as he devoured your pussy. He made out with your folds and spit on your entrance speculating around it with his tongue blowing on your clit making you a moaning mess and begging for more. “Sir!! Oh daddy!!” You pressed your pussy against his mouth and he groaned lapping up your juices. You were so close to cum- his expert fingers drawing fast circles on your clit leaving you sobbing covering your face in embarrassment “that’s a good girl doing so good for me, let me show you, letting me put my cock in there honey?” He smirked licking his lower lip tasting your pussy nectar. His chin shined with it and you nodded too dumb to think straight. Kneeling between your parted thighs you saw his cock standing again, you wanted it inside of you. So badly- “please daddy! Mmmm-yes” touching his tie and button up as he slapped your pussy lips earning a loud yelp out of you. He smiled at you hovering above you. “I don’t have a body of a perfect man- but I know how to fuck princess like you” he licked his lower lip rubbing his cock between your folds coating them in his pre cum. “I don’t care I want you.. you’re my daddy” you whimpered watching him do these sinful things to your body. Your core bloomed with heat as he peppered kisses around your breast through your shirt heading towards your neck. “Yeah? You want a dirty old man who is horny for you?” You nodded spreading your legs for him willingly too needy to refuse your professor. “You’re hot to me.. please daddy” you pleaded with tears in your eyes awaiting for him to slide inside of you. “We doing a bad thing but I want my cum dripping out of you honey” grabbing his length in his hand he put the tip inside of your core making you gasp for breath gripping his sides. Watching you with a soft growl he slid the entirety of him in you causing you to hit your lower lip so hard it bled. “Ow ow-so full of my cock you bitin’ your gorgeous lips huh?” swiping the little blood off with his thumb he slammed himself on top of you making you accept all of his weight. “F-fuck baby I can’t hold back I’m going to fuck you now” you nodded ignoring the slight pain at how deep he was inside of you. The little pudge of his tummy gave you both the extra claps as he snapped his hips into you. Your legs rising with every thrust, your body rocking and jolting heart juddering in your chest. His face fell against your neck as he groaned your name twice, trice, picking up the speed of his hips fucking into you and god your pussy drooled slick giving him the easiest slide in and out of you. Moaning out your hands held fistfuls of his white button up resting your feet on top of his thighs as he began to snap his hips harder into you. “Can’t stop now kitten.. take my cock.” Breathing harshly he nuzzled his nose against yours taking in your moans and whimpers as he kept going fucking your very heart and soul. “Yeah? You like that?” He smiled as he listened to your whimpers mixed with the wetness of his thrusts and your pussy colliding with him. Making a total mess until you both couldn’t anymore, your orgasms hitting you shortly and like he promised the cum he released inside of you it leaked out of your abused hole his eyes watching proudly before fingers stuffing it back inside of you. “Perfect little thing, can be so … slutty.”

-

(Any typos and mistakes I apologize in advance)

[neverniko101]

Hey chat

Just a reminder (if you’re in America, especially because of the upcoming election):

TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS.

Trans people are VALID. LGBTQ+ people are VALID. You are lovely and incredible and you’ve grown so much and you will grow so much more. It’s honestly fucking awful that there are some places where that is not okay and that some people, whether through ignorance or hate, continue to keep it that way. There are ALWAYS people who will care about you. There is ALWAYS people who will help. There is ALWAYS hope.

Here’s the vid that inspired me to make this lmao, my Mom watched and wanted to show me:

And their website

Here are some hotlines for different countries

Here are some in different European countries

Here are some hotlines (for the US, mostly i think)

Here are some other services (again, I think for the US)

LGBTQ+ ARE VALID!!!

I AM HERE TO GIVE OUT FREE HUGS!!!!!

I may need to hug all of you

REBLOG THIS TO HUG PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /no pressure /silly

@bunningchaos @yellowrabbitfurry @catt6565 @soul100 @songwolfwildblogs @snowdrop-wolf @cas-spirit @thevoidfairy (SORRY I HAVEN’T BEEN TAGGING YOU FLORA I COULDN’T FIND UR USER AND WAS TOO EMBARRASSED TO ASK YOU) @ph0enix-12 @kissimor @kredenakrejn @crazy-snake @ravioli-randomness @raptornoturno @laizimoon @voltaicfox @dreamseersystem @emo-axel @infinitrix @julia-jck @junipers-insects @joonebugg @lifelyne @miracle-negative @notsoterribletyrant @kiraapk @rainylightsheep @plippy28 @unamzi @vantalemons @wonkus-bonkus ALL THE HUGS. YOU. YOU READING THIS. VIRTUAL HUG. YOU’VE BEEN VIRTUAL HUGGED

OKAY HAVE TO GO EEP NOW

I’ll have to finish Inktober/Cross BDay drawin tomorrow:,)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unparadiz’d

Warnings: non/dubcon, bullying, blowjob, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Part of Roo’s Pajama Party (October 7-8)

Prompt: Unparadiz’d - brought from joy to miserie. (List of prompts here) + this look

Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all. I hope you enjoy this one and have a lovely weekend.

This is the last of pajama party drabbles. Let me know if you want me to do anything else like this.

“Actually, you’re both wrong. Gladiators were more often highly-trained. In fact, many were soldiers, but they most certainly weren’t slaves,” you intone. 

You can’t help a smile. After more than an hour of chatter over things you didn’t know or care about, the conversation finally sways in your direction. History. That’s your ish. The Roman Empire especially. 

“And where did you get that?” Ransom scoffs.  

Charles rubs your back encouragingly. He hates how you tend to fade into the background. He needs someone who can stand at his side, not behind him. 

“Well, I studied history. Masters, um, but you know, I am always open to learning new things. So, perhaps you might have proof otherwise.” 

Ransom scowls. He hasn’t offered much more than that for most of the night. You don’t take it personally. He isn’t much better with the table full of people he calls friends. As the newcomer, you’ll happily just let it slide off your back. 

“I don’t care that much,” he snorts. “Whatever. Charles, what about that Corvette? Sounds like a broke down train pulling up.” 

“It’s antique. A classic. You would know if you had any sense of taste.” Charles rebuffs smoothly. “Safia, you’ll have to recommend me your chef. Mine can’t make ravioli for shit.” 

You smile prettily and keep your fingers pinched around the stem of your glass. Charles’ friends are the society type. Your own are few and far between and the most you did was go out for coffee or a movie. These people are intellectuals and you can’t help but feel like a pretender. 

“Stealing from me again, eh, Charles,” Safia drawls. “Mm, I might. If you’re a good boy.” 

Safia is gorgeous. Thick black brows, thicker hair, full lips. You can’t tell if she’s flirting or you’re just intimidated. 

“So,” Kimora turns to you pointedly, “you studied history. How cute. What did you study exactly?” 

“Hmph, Marie Antoinette and the like, I’m sure,” Ransom mutters. 

“Um, ancient history, actually,” you speak up. “Egypt, Greece, and Roman. But I was able to explore a bit more in my undergrad.” 

Ransom clucks and drains his glass of whiskey. Your eyes meet his stormy ones. You’re not sure if his irritation is meant for you or if it’s more a general disdain. Every time you speak only deepens his agitation. You might be better staying quiet. You can bear the lecture from Charles after, but the hatred in that man’s eyes pierces like a knife. 

“Well, if you’re looking for any writers on the subject,” Charles suggests, “I give her a five-star review.” 

“No one wants to read about dead people,” Ransom snips. 

You sip from your glass and lower your gaze to the table. You’re embarrassed. There’s really no particular reason to be but the way he talks scalds you with shame. Everything you do is wrong in his eyes. 

“I don’t know, Hugh, some of them are a lot more interesting than you,” Charles retorts. 

“Fuck off,” Ransom snarls. “Don’t call me that.” 

“Oh, my bad. At least Hugh doesn’t sound like it belongs on a dog,” Charles chuckles. 

Ransom slams his hand down, rattling his plate and cutlery, “you’re such a fucking smart ass, Charlie.” 

“Oh, behave,” Safia reprimands, “sit down.” 

“Piss off, mommy dearest,” Ransom spins and stomps out. “Bunch of snobs.” 

As he storms off, Charles laughs louder and Safia tuts and shakes her head at him. Bronson reaches over to take an untouched quiche from Ransom’s plate. “More for us.” 

You stare after the angry man. Something must be wrong. It can’t just be the dinner. It’s been rather pleasant up to that point. 

“Well, we’ve almost finished the bottle,” Charles reaches for the wine. “You’ve got a spare bed?” 

“You know I do, Charles,” Safia affirms. “I had the guest rooms made up. I know you all too well.” 

“Oh, don’t act like you haven’t kept pace,” Kimora tosses back with a smirk. “Charles, save some for me.” She puts her glass out and you glance down at your own. You still haven’t even finished your first. 

The night wears on as you once more get lost amidst the garble. You put a word in or two but someone else always talks a bit louder or you find yourself without much to say. Finally, the plates are cleared and you disburse to find a room to sleep in. 

You didn’t expect to stay the night, but Charles seems to have anticipated it. He pulls a black nightie from his leather bag and fans it out on the bed. You stare at the dainty fabric. 

“Oh, wonderful.” 

You wonder why he didn’t mention the possibility. It hardly matters. Charles knows best. 

You change into the night gown. It’s tight and a bit short. You fix the straps as they dig into your shoulders. 

“I don’t understand, it’s your size,” he drawls and belches into his hand, “mm, those prawns aren’t settling.” 

“Are you okay? Should I get you some water?” You offer. 

He waves you off and grumbles as he stomps around the bed. You watch him go then slowly look down at the nightie. Your chest threatens to fall out of the bodice. 

You sit and wait and listen. The tap runs then shuts off. Charles’ wretch follows and his vomit hits the water loudly. You cringe and get up. You go to the bathroom door and nudge it open, “Charles, can I--” 

“Get the fuck out!” He barks and you obey. 

You back up to the bed and sit. You won’t be able to sleep. He’s sick and you just want to make it better. Well, it’s good he gets it out. You probably wouldn’t want someone hovering over you in the same situation. 

You wait for Charles. Twenty minutes before you get up and knock on the bathroom door. He doesn’t answer but as you try the handle, you find it locked. He’ll come out when he’s ready. 

You keep the lamp on and move to the top of the bed. You fold the blanket back and recline, but don’t cover yourself. You turn onto your side and close your eyes.  

As you keep your ears perked for Charles’, you slowly drift down. After the long night and stress of meeting new people, you’re exhausted. You cross your arms and sink into the mattress. Reality is vague on the other side of your eyelids as sleep creeps up your body. 

You lurch away as a door clicks. You roll onto your back and look toward the bathroom. The door is still closed. You blink as a shadow emerges from behind the other. The door to the hallway. 

You lay in disbelief, paralysed in surprise. It’s Ransom. He wears only a pair of silk boxers. He must have gone into the wrong room. 

“Um, hi?” You sit up, “I think--” 

He puts his fingers to his lips and you snap your mouth shut. Confused. Maybe he needs to talk to Charles. 

“Charles is just--” 

He wiggles his finger then points it as you. He comes up to the foot of the bed. He tilts his head as his eyes scour over your body. He smirks. 

“You know about gladiators, huh? Know everything, don’t you?” He hisses. 

“Erm, no, I... no,” you gulp. “I didn’t say that.” 

“But you had to say something,” he snorts. 

“No, I was only... talking,” you tense and bend your legs up protectively. “I’m just about to go to sleep. I can let Charles know--” 

“You can shut the fuck up,” he puts his knee on the bed and reaches for you. He snakes your ankle and pulls your leg straight. You squeal as he hauls you down the bed. “Make another noise and I’ll go find Charles and bash his head into the fucking toilet.” 

“Please,” you wisp. 

“I fucking mean it,” he wrestles your legs down as you try to kick. He crawls over your body to straddle you. You claw at his forearms and wriggle helplessly. “You think you fucking know it all, well, I’m about to teach you the most important fucking lesson.” 

He closes his hands around your throat and you cough. His thumb presses down sharply and you whimper. He shakes you until you’re quiet. Your eyes wet and you try to bat away the fuzzy sheen. 

“You don’t fuck around with me,” he growls as he glares down at you. “I don’t care if you’re fucking that cockwad, you speak to me with respect.” 

You wheeze and slap your hand on the bed. You didn’t mean to. You were just trying to fit in. Why is he so mad? 

“So let’s start easy. Don’t make a fucking sound, do you got me?” 

You nod frantically against his grip as your head pulses from the lack of air. He grins and slowly releases you. He brushes his hands along your shoulders and yanks down the straps of your dress. Your tits pop out and you close your eyes in shame. 

“Look at these things,” he gropes your chest greedily. “Guess that makes up for that mouth.” You sniffle and he pinches your nipples meanly, “look at me, you bitch.” 

Your eyes snap open and round, tears bobbling along the brims. He snickers and flicks his finger up your throat. He pokes at your mouth and toys with your lower lip. 

“I know exactly how to train that mouth of yours. Surprised Charlie hasn’t already,” he pushes his finger into your mouth, forcing deep until his knuckles press against your teeth and you gag. 

He rips his hand away and raises himself on his knees. You squeak as he rolls down his boxers and springs free. His dick bobs as he climbs over you and you shake your head and snivel. 

He grabs his dick and your head. He wrenches you up by your hair, straining your neck as he presses his tip to your lips. You clamp your mouth shut and whimper. 

“Open the fuck up or I’ll break your teeth. Don’t think I’m fucking lying. I’m here, aren’t I?” 

You tremble and give in. Your eyes flow over and blur with the wash of tears. It’s not just the violation, it’s that Charles is right on the other side of that wall. And you’re just letting this happen. 

Ransom rams into your mouth. He shows no mercy as he thrusts down and invades your throat. His hand fists in your hair as his other trails back to your throat. He rubs there as he pushes down to his limit. As he thrusts, he feels himself from the outside, growling and grunting as you gurgle. 

“Yeah, fuck,” He ruts harder and harder. Saliva pastes across your cheeks and your throat sears from his relentless fucking. “That mouth isn’t so fucking bad. Fuck. And those tits. You fucking play with those tits.” 

He straddles just above your chest. You bring your hands up and cup your tits in your hands. You babble and squeeze, squirming as he pumps into your mouth. 

“Like that. Huh? Listen to you. Sounds like he don’t fuck you good enough. He doesn’t punish this mouth how it should be,” he snarls and puffs as you feel the tension cord through him, “oh, yeah... yeah... yeah...” 

His breath rattles and he quakes. He yanks your head up so your mouth is right against his pelvis. He rocks slightly, suffocating you, and suddenly, twitches. You feel him explode in your throat. His cums flood you, rising into your mouth and coming out your nose as you choke and hack. 

You quake and cough as he pulls out of you, inch by inch. Your body lurches as you barely hold back a swell of nausea. He raises himself over you, his dick softening slowly as it shines with spit and semen. He groans and cradles his balls. 

“Actually, you aren't entirely useless.” He taunts. 

[galaxywarp]

So do you have any recommendations for Kitchen Nightmares episodes? I saw the Amy’s Baling Company one once and I’ve been taking psychic damage ever since

Oh I love this ask. I’ve been binge watching. Here’s my recs:

Season 5 episodes 1 and 2 “La Galleria 33” parts 1 and 2. owners are a pair of sisters who are honestly fucking hilarious and he revisits them later and they do turn things around for the better so that makes watching even more satisfying for me. This is the episode with that famous waitress recommending the ravioli that’s terrible on purpose and smiling when asked why

Season 1 episode 15 “Black Pearl”. One of the most insufferable bastards of an owner on the whole show

Season 2 episode 2 “Flamangos” Gordon hates these guys decor so much he sets all of it on fire

Season 2 episode 12 “Sushi Ko” this one is more heartfelt. Owner is genuinely a good guy and good father he’s just very tired and needs help

Season 3 episode 12 “Capri” owners are a pair of goofy twins. Pretty fun episode

Season 3 episode 13 “Zeke’s” I hated these owners a lot lmao they bought a locally beloved restaurant after the previous owner Zeke died and then made it cheap and shitty and the whole staff hates them

Season 4 episode 15 “Cafe Hon” this owner fucking trademarked the word “hon” in Baltimore and would send cease and desist letters to anyone else trying to use the word “hon” so the community absolutely HATEDDDD her and Gordon interviews them. Very juicy

Season 4 episode 1 “Blackberry’s” this owner honest to god accuses Gordon Ramsay of planting a dead mouse in her restaurant. It gets nuts

HAVE FUN!!! Binge with me

[stuckymonkey]

Hot But Not Bothered

Natasha Romanoff

Pairing - nat x autistic!reader

Summary - it's a very hot day at the compound, and nat is getting flustered by y/n's distaste for over-warm garments.

Warnings - use of y/n, implications of sexy times, reader has autism and too much confidence to care about the demons that are clothes, fingering, oral

Word Count - 1k

a/n - i love this ship, and i thought this was a fun idea! literally ended up turning into pure smut

masterlist natasha romanoff

Summers at the Avengers Compound could get a little heated, in more ways than one. Today was one of the hottest days of the year and an awful time for the AC to take a very unauthorized break.

I lounged around on me and Natasha's shared floor in barely any clothes. The feeling of warm clothes sticking to my skin no matter what was unbearable. I was breaking a sweat just from sitting on our usually comfortable couch.

No matter how much iced water I drank, or how many cold showers I tried to take, I could not cool down. I had drawn all of the curtains closed, making our living room nearly pitch black, save for the T.V that was currently playing.

"Baby, what do you want for dinner?" I heard her call from the kitchen. "Something cold!" I whined. Her footsteps could be heard as she made her way to where I was sitting, only in a pair of pajama shorts and floral mesh bra. "Hi," I made grabby hands at her, successfully getting her to sit on my lap. "Hi," she breathed, her face heating up in a blush.

She was wearing a black sports bra and capris, somehow. "How are you not dying in these?" I asked, tugging at her pants. She shrugged. Having autism was a gift. My grandmother had told me so and I believed her with my whole heart to this day. But it could also make things very difficult for me, like being warm and wearing clothes.

I had a very specific garment palette: baggy hoodies, jean shorts, leggings. The end. See how shirts aren't included there? I hate shirts with a passion, Nat knows this but it never stops her from getting flustered when I don't wear them.

"You know," I whispered to her, "I've seen every glorious inch of your naked body, and you've seen mine, so I don't know what has you all flustered, kitten." she preened at the name, grinding her hips on mine.

She gasped as she must have rubbed her clit the right way on the fabric of our pants. I grabbed a hold of her hips, stopping her movements. Her wide green eyes flew to mine. "Go make dinner kitten. We can play when you get back." She whined while I have her a wink. Reluctantly she got off of my lap, earning a small slap to her ass, making her moan as she went back to the kitchen.

Because it was dusk now, the air had cooled off and I threw on one of Natasha's old shirts. "Hi baby," she giggled as I placed kisses on her neck from behind. She turned around, leaving the counter to kiss my collarbone and rub my nipples through my shirt. "Natty," I grabbed her hands, once again halting her movements.

"Y/n/n," she whined. "Let me play," she said, smirking after licking her lips. I gently spun her back to the counter where she had ravioli cooking on the stove, one of my favourite comfort foods. "Pay attention to the food Natty." I said. Once I saw that the meal had her full attention, I swiftly pulled down her capris, exposing her bare cunt to me.

"Fuck, Nat." I ran my finger through her glistening folds. Her quickened breaths filled my ears as I kept teasing her entrance. "This all for me, kitten?" I asked. "Yes," she managed to get out, doing her best to focus on the stuffed noodles and keeping her knees from buckling.

"Good girl," I purred as I put one finger in. I felt her lean back on my hand, making the heel of it rub against her clit deliciously. She let out sinful groans as she kept tending to the food. I added another finger, moving it quicker as she started grinding and clenching on my fingers.

"You're almost there, aren't you kitten?" "Yes, please." she moaned into the light of the kitchen. I moved my mouth to her dripping folds, licking around where my fingers were buried inside of her, pumping quickly and curling to hit just the right spot. I sucked on her sensitive clit, getting "Oh"s and chants of "Yes, yes, yes!".

Before I knew it she was cumming on my face. I sucked at her cunt, devouring everything I could before straightening up and letting her taste herself on my lips.

We moaned together, moving our tongues in a dance. "Fuck," she said. "tastes good, doesn't it, kitten?" I asked. She hugged me closer and nodded. "I love you," I said, pecking her lips. "I love you too, dekta."

I filled both of our plates and helped her get comfortable on the couch, taking off my shorts and giving them to her, knowing she didn't appreciate being bare for long periods of time. I, on the other hand, loved it.

I loved this woman with my whole heart and I know she loves me too. The show we were watching soon finished, and I helped Nat set up a warm bath to soothe her muscles while I cleaned up the counter.

After cleaning up the dishes and putting the extra food in containers I joined Natasha in the bathroom. "You were such a good girl today" I whispered. She closed her eyes at the praise. I would have joined her but I knew my body couldn't handle the heat, or the task of drying off and feeling a towel against my skin.

Nat fell asleep in my arms, her skin still warm from the bath. Thankfully by then the AC was back on full blast and I could enjoy a comforting night with my best girl and the love of my life. Also the best thing I've ever tasted, but you get it.

[messrmoonyy]

- you sunshine, you temptress

Tess Servopoulos x Female reader

Request- already in like Jackson, and so Ellie and Joel live together but Tess doesn’t. They’re new in town so they’re still not used to the whole nice civilized thing, but the reader is her nice neighbor who wears her down. She plants stuff and even like cooks for tess. But she’s not a wimp either, very skilled with guns and stuff. Just a fic where they meet and like reader takes care of Tess. Smut too if you want

A/N- I took this request and ran with it. It took me a long ass time I apologise but I do really like how this turned out. It became far more angsty than I’m sure you wanted it to be but. Here we are. I wanted to explore an idea that Tess didn’t like Jackson and took time to adjust, didn’t really like reader as well. Tess leaning to adjust and love and be loved. Also in transferring this over none of my italics saved and I could’nt be fucked to go back through this again and add them back lmao

Warnings- 18+ | tess is quite low for the majority of this, canon compliant discussions of death and violence, vague/ implied smut (wc- 13.2k )

Tess masterlist | AO3 - Tess requests are open but not currently top priority

SPRING

Tess didn’t like Jackson. Not at first. The drastic change from Boston to the nomadic lifestyle she had been living with Ellie and Joel as they crossed the country had been difficult enough. But to then transfer to something so wildly different from both of those things? Yeah. It took some getting used to.

She didn’t quite know what she had been expecting really. Maybe something like Boston but without the soldiers. Small pockets of people doing their own things to get by, together for safety but nothing much else. Not the working, thriving town she had walked into. Not the cleanliness, the stores, the diner, the hot water- that apparently was only a little temperamental in the colder months compared to year round like Boston- and clean clothes. Jobs. Families. Farming. She felt like she was in an alternate dimension.

She didn’t like the way everyone was so… cheerful. Which was a weird thing to say, but it was true. Because it threw her off.

She had developed her own bubble of happiness with Joel and Ellie over the months. They laughed together at Ellie’s shitty jokes, shared in her joy when she found a can of ravioli she liked. But would be stoney faced in an instant to protect each other. Joel and Ellie she loved like family, they were her family. She was used to warm smiles from them, a desire to be near her and talk to her. She wasn’t used to it from others.

Other people were scared of her. They moved out of her way and they did as she asked. They kept their heads down in case they upset her and they didn’t cross her path. But not in Jackson. No.

They smiled at her in the street, asked her how she was, said good morning.

And it spooked her. She didn’t like it. And she hated that she didn’t. That she had become so hardened that genuine kindness scared her. Because no one was kind anymore. No one showed care unless they wanted something else in return.

So she didn’t know how to take it. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the new found trust people had in her, their ease at having her around. To her surprise Joel didn’t seem to be struggling as much. He had Tommy back after all and that seemed to be easing his discomfort. Ellie was fitting in… kinda. Her colourful vocabulary and brashness had put some of the kids off at first. But they seemed to be warming to her now.

So it was just her. Trapped in some odd isolated headspace where she didn’t quite know what to do. She didn’t mention it to Joel, didn’t want to interfere with him and Tommy as they rebuilt their relationship again. Maria had tried to pull Tess into things more, and Tess liked her. Maria didn’t take shit, she had power and was in charge. People respected her. And she didn’t let Tess mope around for too long either.

But even Maria couldn’t quite pull her out of that disconnected state completely.

Part of her felt she was being ungrateful. She was alive and as safe as anyone could possibly hope to be in the current climate. Joel was alive. Ellie was alive. She was alive. But there was just… something.

Maybe a sick part of her missed it. Missed Boston. But then again maybe it wasn’t so sick. She hadn’t liked Boston really. But spending so long in one place would always make it hard to leave behind. Even the things she had so often complained about. She found she couldn’t even sleep on her new bed, Jackson having been looked after for so long that the mattress was actually still soft. She was too used to the lumpy one in the zone, and sleeping on the ground for months.

She’d been sleeping on the couch since she’d arrived. If she even managed to sleep at all, unable to fall asleep on the soft sheets and bed.

She missed her power too. Got tetchy when she thought about who was running operations back in the zone now. Who was living in her and Joel’s apartment, had they found their stash? Who was selling her shit and walking around like she had? She had to remind herself she shouldn’t care. That wasn’t her life anymore. It never would be again. Boston was a distant memory she needed to put to rest.

But it was difficult.

The new house felt too big. The town too clean. The people too nice. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do with herself. She mildly regretted living separately from Joel. Just out of… familiarity. She wasn’t used to such an open space to herself. Even before the outbreak the house she had shared with her husband and son hadn’t been so big. And she had had two other bodies to fill the space.

In Boston that tiny apartment she had had Joel to fill the gaps.

But she knew she couldn’t impose on him any longer. Joel was handsome and mellowing. He would no doubt find someone in town… and she couldn’t be the one to stand in the way of that. Especially seeing as she herself had no desire to go there. Their relationship had always been purely platonic and she had no intention of changing that.

So when Maria had asked, she had taken her own place. Ellie had taken the garage. They all had their own space. But those two seemed far better at living in it than she was.

It had taken that stark shift though for her to realise that maybe she simply wasn’t made for being alone. She had met her husband in college. They had moved in together immediately after, and had their son young. Then she’d fallen into the group heading for Boston, met Joel… she’d never really been alone.

Though she also wasn’t particularly doing anything to change that either. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Back in Boston she’d get lonely from time to time, would go out and pick someone up with ease. Now? She didn’t know where that confidence had gone.

She felt people looking at her when she ventured out. She knew she wasn’t exactly unattractive, she knew people liked to look. But she had no desire to pursue. She didn’t even entertain them for a second. And they all grew bored of trying and moved on.

Everyone was friendly enough, but some kept their distance when they realised she wasn’t the… happiest of people. But one person didn’t let the permanent frown glued to Tess’ face deter them.

You.

You lived across the street from her, would wave hello every morning when Tess ventured out to find out what tasks Maria had to keep her busy for the day. You’d smile. You’d say hello. You even left her things on the porch.

And you liked flowers.

She gathered that pretty quickly. The window boxes were full, potted bushes and blooms littered your porch and edge of the dirt path street. It made her own place look incredibly dull. But maybe that was fitting.

She’d never been one for flowers. So expensive for them to just sit and wilt away in a vase, to be left with nothing but some crisped petals and dead stems within a week. So amongst the sandwiches and pies left at her door, the odd flowering embellishments she knew came from you.

A lot of people in town left stuff for her and Joel, to welcome them. To give them things they needed. She didn’t like accepting any of it. She didn’t like the feeling of… owing people. Feeling like they would have a hold over her, that they had given her a new jacket so now she owed them something. That you had left her a pie so now you were owed something too.

So she left the majority of it exactly where it was placed on the porch, Maria being the one to bring them inside for her.

“ You are gonna attract every damn animal in town if you keep leaving this stuff on your porch Tess “ Maria used as a greeting when Tess opened the door one morning, seeing the woman standing there with what seemed to be a loaf in her hands “ and wasting food? Really? Especially this? Now this looks delicious. Still warm too “ Tess scoffed but before she could speak she heard your voice.

“ Good morning Maria! Good morning Tess! “ she looked over Maria’s shoulder to see you jogging down your porch steps and waving, thankfully turning to walk into town rather than try and start a conversation

“ morning hun “ Maria responded with a smile, glancing over to Tess when she ignored you as she always did.

“ what? “ Maria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in the way she so often did when she was at her wits end. Usually with Ellie and Joel’s bickering.

“ I’ve told you a million times. We all get along here. It’s a small town Tess, you can’t have grudges. Or.. at least public ones. I have a few secret ones myself “ Tess sighed and stepped back to let Maria inside, who only sighed too when she eyed the blanket on the couch “ you’re still sleeping on the couch? “

Tess brushed her off and grabbed her boots from by the door, sitting down to pull them on. She could already sense another of Maria’s lectures brewing, and the headache pulsing behind her temples made her hope she’d hold off on it.

“ I just fell asleep there I was… reading “ Maria did not seem even remotely convinced and walked through to place the bread down in the kitchen.

“ And what’s with the silent treatment with the doll across the street? “

“ she’s too… happy “ Maria laughed and shook her head

“ She's harmless. She’s kind “

“ she’s fuckin annoying “ Maria’s eyebrows flew up and she gave a small laugh again

“ Theresa “ it sounded almost scolding. Tess scoffed at that “ you sound like Ellie “ Tess scoffed again. Fucking Ellie?

“ calling me a kid now Maria? “

“ yeah. Cause you’re acting like one “ she sighed and stood with her hands on her hips, the way that told anyone nearby that she meant business. To shut the fuck up and listen to her “ you’re here now. And you need to stop isolating yourself “ she walked over to her and placed a hand to her arm, a gentle comforting squeeze “ I know it’s hard. I do. But you have to try “

She knew she did. She was just stubborn and stuck in her ways. And you really were… peppy. One of those people that seemed constantly in a good mood, seeing the world through rose tinted glasses and trying to spread your joy.

Tess’ own glasses had smashed a long long time ago. And she saw no reason for the amount of joy you seemed to hold.

“ I’m trying “

“ Try harder then “ Maria said before folding her arms and tilting her head a little as she watched her “ what’s going on with you? “ Tess stood up again and ran a hand through her hair, wishing she knew. Wishing she had the words to explain.

But how could she? How could she tell Maria that she wanted to go home? She wanted Boston back. That she felt out of place in Jackson and had never felt as lonely as she did in her entire life.

“ I’m fine. I’m just tired. Shall we go? “ Maria didn’t seem convinced but nodded, following her outside.

It was a nice day. Spring was in full swing now, in the weeks between Salt Lake City and settling into town the chill of winter had finally disappeared. She could see daffodils sprouting in the window boxes of your house. Her own were barron.

“ I’ve put you on farming rotation today. Sounds good? “ she nodded “ okay. It’s easy enough. Pot things, label things, pull things. It’s quite therapeutic “ she’d be the judge of that one.

She followed Maria around to the greenhouses, watching how people greeted her and smiled when they saw her. She didn’t know whether she was jealous or annoyed.

“ okay. Greenhouse 4, shouldn’t take more than a couple hours. When you’ve finished in there come find me if you want to help out some more. Okay? "She followed where Maria was pointing and stopped when she spotted someone already inside greenhouse 4.

“ are you fuckin kidding me Maria“

You.

Maria smiled and squeezed her shoulders, leaning close to her ear

“ Be nice “ Tess scoffed and turned to try and beg her to assign her anywhere else but there, but Maria was already walking off.

“ Maria- “

“ be. Nice! “

“ fuck “ she gave a frustrated huff and headed into the greenhouse, you turned around at the sound with that usual beaming smile on your face. She didn’t have the energy for this today. Didn’t have the energy for you.

“ Oh hi. I didn’t know I was paired with you today “ she stood not really knowing what she was supposed to do, annoyance practically steaming out of her ears “ you wanna get that side and I’ll continue with this side? Seeds are in that bag there, compost and soil is there, tools in the crate under the table. Okay? “

She gave a small nod and headed for the crate of tools, pulling out a small trowel and grabbing a pot. But she found her hands refusing to move. Simply staring down at the equipment in her hands. It felt like a weight was pushing down on her shoulders, crushing her chest, turning all of her muscles to lead.

“ I thought Maria would’ve had you trained up for patrols by now “ you said lightly, the sound of your trowel filling another pot “ from what I’ve heard your pretty handy with a gun “

What had you heard?

“ yeah “ she said, almost having to force herself to reply “ soon… they don’t like new people straight on patrol “ her hands still wouldn’t move.

“ figures. You could always ask her to put you on my regular route at first if you like. It’s one of the busier ones, you seem a little stressed. And well blowing the head off a clicker might be beneficial “ you laughed as you said it but quite frankly she felt you were right.

She didn’t like being unarmed. Adults in town were allowed to own their own weapons but weren’t to bring them out of their house unless they were heading on patrol. Her back pocket felt too empty without her gun there. Her fingers itched to hold it, if only for the familiarity of the metal on her fingers.

“ or why don’t you see if she’ll assign you on the hunting crew? Shooting rabbits isn’t exactly as fun as putting down clickers but. You know it’s something “ you seemed fully convinced that the answer to Tess’ supposed stress was killing something one way or another.

What had you heard about her? Who had been talking?

“ right “ she still hadn’t potted a single seed, some unmoving crushing sense of dread still heavy on her shoulders.

She didn’t know why the weight of her problems was weighing her down so heavily in the last few days. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just adjust to Jackson. Why was she feeling more anxious and depressed in the safest possible place she could be, than when she had been living under the looming threat of being murdered everyday?

No normal person's mind worked that way. No normal decent person craved the life she had once had. The familiarity back at least. She felt sick.

You were humming a song to yourself now. It felt irrationally loud in her ears. She could hear Maria’s voice in her head too. Telling her to try. To try be nice. Try to mingle.

“ thank you. For the bread “ she said in an attempt at conversation. She’d known it was you that had left it. Had seen the sprig of some kind of flower tucked into the cloth it was wrapped in. Obviously you “ but I don’t need charity “

“ it’s not charity “ you said, the sound of your tools stilling “ it’s a gift. I don’t know… welcome to town gesture that’s all “

“ Whatever it was. I don’t need it “ maybe this wasn’t exactly nice. But it needed to be said “ you can take it back if you want. I haven’t touched it “

“ alright “ she didn’t have to look at you to know your face would be reminiscent of a kicked puppy “ keep the lavender though. It’s calming… it’ll help you sleep” she turned around to look at you then. How did you know she wasn’t sleeping?

“ how- “

“ I came from a QZ myself, I spent years after that roaming. I know it takes time to adjust Tess. I barely slept a wink when I first got here… paranoid an infected was gonna jump me in my sleep or FEDRA was gonna come arrest me cause they suspected me of rebel activity… silly I know but. Our brains are hardwired into survival mode and it takes some time to shake it off “

It sounded genuinely sincere. Caring. She barely knew you and yet you seemed as though you actually wanted to help her. It made her skin prickle.

“ yeah. Well. I’m not you “ she turned back around as if to resume her previous activity. Though she had still not potted a single seed.

“ That's very clear “ even annoyed you sounded remotely cheerful still. Like no malice truly laced your words.

What was she doing here? The world was a hell hole, it was full of shitty people all doing shitty things. And there she was planting fucking carrots. In some odd altercation with you about her behaviour.

“ Tess? Everything okay? "Your hand falling on her shoulder shocked her into reality. She stepped away from your touch, moving so quickly it was as if you’d burnt her, heading for the door. She felt like she was suffocating she needed to get out “ Tess? “

“ I- I have to go “ you hurried out after her and she took a deep breath of the fresh air trying to calm herself. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t skittish and scared. She didn’t get anxious and erratic. She didn’t recognise herself anymore.

“ Can I do anything? I can get Maria or-“

“ look. I know you mean well. But I don’t need… any of this. I don’t need you thinking you’re helping all of the time “ her words were harsh and as much as you annoyed her, it was like looking at a kicked puppy “ just. Stop “

She turned away from you and headed straight for home. Home. Home that felt nothing like the word.

She felt ungrateful. People were sleeping out in the woods or in derelict buildings basically waiting to be attacked by infected. And she had a house. Warmth. Safety. But she couldn’t shake the feelings and she hated it.

She closed the town out behind her, closing the door and leaning against it to catch her breath. Why was this all so difficult for her? Why was she so incapable of adjusting to some kind of regular society again?

She debated talking to Joel. If anyone in town understood her it was him. Joel knew her inside out, could talk to her with just a look, knew what she was going to do before she did it. But he was settling in fine. He wasn’t struggling like she was. She didn’t want to weigh him down with that when he finally seemed so light.

She hid away for the rest of the day, almost expecting Maria to come and drag her back out again. But she didn’t to her relief. She had her peace and quiet to mope. To wallow in her own stupid sadness and isolation.

Until the evening.

She sighed when there was a knock on the door, probably Ellie ready to go charging around the room rambling off every piece of information about her day with an amused Joel in tow. Though she actually wouldn’t mind that.

But it wasn’t Ellie. Or Joel.

“ hey “

“ I thought- “

“ I know. Look. I just wanted to come and tell you I was sorry if I offended you or something. You just… you seemed like you needed a friend and I wanted to help “ she could tell you genuinely meant it. That you truly were one of those people that was just… nice. Good. Even after the past two decades that had twisted and warped so many others, herself included, you had somehow remained what she assumed was the same.

“ well I don’t… need any help “ you gave a small nod but didn’t immediately leave, shuffling a little awkwardly on the spot “ anything else? “

“ I noticed. I noticed you don’t have anything in the window boxes. I have some spare seeds… flowers can really help brighten the place up. I find that on sad days it’s always a little bit nicer to look at a flower than an empty box “ she opened her mouth to decline, to tell you she didn’t want you in her way. But you seemed to anticipate it “ you won’t even have to see me. Or talk to me. I can do it when you’re not home or if you are I can… I can just knock so you know I’m there. So you can wait for me to leave or- it’s just an idea “

She figured that in the long run giving you something to do that you might take as being helpful, might actually make you leave her alone a little more. And so, ever so slightly reluctantly, she sighed and nodded.

“ fine “ the smile on your face after that almost made her want to smile too. Almost. So kind. So genuine. So… bright.

“ yeah? Okay. Do you have any preferences? Or allergies? Colours maybe- “ she lifted a hand in a silent request for you to shut up.

Be nice.

She closed her eyes for a moment and gave a steady sigh, forcing some attempt at a smile onto her face.

“ anything. Anything is fine “ you gave a nod and turned slightly before pausing. You seemed to debate something for a moment before delving into your pocket and pulling out a small jar of something that looked like jam.

“ I know… I know you said you didn’t want- it goes real nice with the bread “ she waited a second before taking it from your hands. You said nothing else, just gave her a small nod of a goodbye and headed down the steps and across the street.

That evening she ate bread with the jam. It was annoyingly good.

———————————

You’d appeared the next morning to plant the seeds. And then you tended to them everyday. Watering them and doing god knows what to the soil. You would let her know you were there each time, a small knock on the door that you didn’t even mind if she didn’t answer. Just letting her know you were out there. Just as you’d said.

And as time passed she found herself answering it from time to time. Just poking her head around the door to see what you were doing, always there with your small watering can and a smile.

And that was okay. You were okay. Nothing else in her life felt right at that moment. But having a new constant did. And she had to admit that even when she woke up on the couch, rubbing at her sore neck, seeing the sprouts through the window almost made her crack a smile. Almost.

SUMMER

As the cold completely shifted from Jackson’s air she found that not even the warmth could truly raise her mood completely. Everyone in town seemed far more cheery, like the sun had some odd healing ability to make everyone more joyful after the bitter winter and the final week of spring which had been nothing but solid rain fall.

Though Tess, begrudgingly enough, found that her own joys still only stemmed from her family. But also from you. As much as she refused to admit it, she’d found herself looking forward to your small knocks on her door each morning, or on mornings where she left early for patrol she found herself almost hoping you’d be on the porch with your watering can and your smile.

Which she didn’t exactly understand or care to understand either. In fact she blatantly ignored the voices in her head warning that she was going soft. That she was beginning to almost look at you as some kind of friend.

She opened the door more often than not now, even made attempts to ask you about the flowers or ask about your day. You never probed her about herself which she liked. You didn’t pry. You let her be. You let her keep her walls fiercely guarded without so much as a complaint. And she kind of hated the fact that made her like you a little more.

And that morning was no different to the rest now, you had knocked and she had gone out to say hello. Had offered you tea and you had accepted as you so often did.

Her night had been filled with bad dreams. And she had feared that it would send her into another one of those days. Where she wanted to do nothing but hide and mope. But she had forced herself to go outside. At least to say hello.

Annoyingly to her, Maria had been right. And she lived there now. And that meant she had to try. She had to try adjust. Fit in. Be… nice.

She still felt wary around you. Maybe even more so because of how she was beginning to sort of like you. Or maybe tolerate was the better word. She told herself it was anyway. But she had been in Jackson a few months at this point. And after a few months your joy and happiness was bound to wear her down. Even if she was reluctant about it.

“ you know if you take good enough care of these they’ll bloom next spring too “ you said as she hovered by the door watching you “ it takes time and care though. Pretty things but strong enough to survive the winter if they’re tended too correctly “ your eyes flitted up to her for a moment as you said it and she felt the statement were a little more loaded than just being about the flowers.

“ I’ll leave that up to you “ you smiled warmly and looked back down at the plants.

“ here’s hoping “

Tess watched you carefully, still unsure exactly how to pinpoint what she was feeling. She was beginning to like having you around. But also your joy drove her insane. You were annoying. So unbelievably annoying with your bright smile and desire to care.

And yet… you had managed to be the one to coax her out of the house. Yes it was only to her porch but it was still out. You had given her something to almost look forward to each day.

She didn’t like it.

“ oh shit “ she blinked a couple of times to drag herself out of her head to see blood in her peripheral, dripping between your fingers and between the floorboards of the porch.

“ what did you- “

“ fucking sheers they slipped I. Look, it's fine it’s just a cut… You got a bandage or something? “ Tess nodded and glanced towards her door. She realised how bad it would seem to keep you out on the porch. To just leave you there whilst she went looking. But also the thought of you in her home…

“ yeah. Do you wanna… come in? Wanna wash it or something “ part of her almost wished you’d say no, but the relief on your face made her regret the thought instantly

“ thanks Tess “ she headed straight for the kitchen. Not even looking to see if you were behind her, rummaging around in a cupboard for her box of medical supplies.

“ wash it. The sink “ she murmured, watching you carefully from the corner of her eye as you headed for the sink beside her, cupping your hand in some attempt to not drip blood onto the tiles. She looked at your bloody hands, ignoring the guilt rising in her chest at the fact you had injured yourself doing something for her, and reached out for you. She held your cut hand in her palm, leading it carefully under the water. She could feel you watching her, eyes almost burning into her skin as she gently washed away the blood and the soil.

She focussed on the pink swirls twisting down the drain rather than looking at you.

She didn’t like it. Didn’t like how you put her on edge. She didn’t want to go delving into why exactly that was either. Why in the space of 6 months she had gone from despising your very existence, to having you in her home because you’d hurt yourself tending to her flowers. It was a lot to try and process all in one go.

“ Marias always laughing at me “ you said as she turned off the water “ says I’m one of the best snipers in town yet I’m clumsy as shit with anything else. Can shoot a clicker miles off but can’t handle a pair of gardening shears? Idiot “

Maria had told her all about your impressive skills out on patrols. She was yet to see them for herself though, Maria hadn’t paired you together yet. Thankfully. Though she couldn’t lie that curiosity on the matter was strong. She’d always had some morbid fascination with the nicest of people that were able to kill like it was second nature.

A silent chaos raging behind a gentle smile.

“ guns more important than sheers “

“ well that depends on the situation don’t you think? Gun won’t help clip the weeds “

She bandaged your hand silently with the care and tenderness that few saw from her, wrapping it up and admiring her work for a second.

She stood back when she was done not exactly knowing what to say anymore. And she hated it. Despised it. Tess always knew what to say. She was always one step ahead of everyone in the room, but she faltered when it came to you. And she didn’t know why. Or what power you seemed to hold over her as of late. Was it your kindness? Was it the simple fact that you had never shown her nothing but care and respect since day one and she just didn’t know how to accept it? Maybe.

She wandered if you noticed how she looked out of place in her own home. Surrounded by so many things that she had no connection to. Objects that weren’t hers, placed into a house that had once been lived in by others. Loved by others.

Like so many others she had gotten used to not getting attached to materialistic things. She could see you glancing around, how you could probably see that from the way the place looked so… bare. Unloved by her. Un- lived in by her. That you probably figured it out pretty quickly.

You were watching her intently as you wandered the kitchen and she didn’t like it, she didn’t like the way you made her feel like a prey animal ready to dart any moment. That wasn’t her. She wasn’t prey. She wasn’t the hunted. She was the hunter. She was the one with the upper hand.

But not with you. Not with you and your unyielding kindness and desire to know her.

So she turned around and started packing away the medical box slowly and carefully. Just to give her hands something to do.

“ why are you so afraid of me? “ you asked suddenly and she turned around with a confused look on her face. Afraid of you? Why would she possibly be afraid of someone like you.

“ what are you talking about? “

“ you’re afraid. You won’t let me in. You barely even let me be your friend. You keep trying to scare me away with being so… miserable. You have to let people in Tess… and I think it’s because you’re scared yourself I- “

“ I’m not afraid of you “ She said immediately. Her heckles raised at the intrusion. And at the confusion for your sudden lack of ability to not interfere “ are you afraid of me? “ she asked, her voice calm. And low and steady. Intimidating. The way she spoke to people in Boston who were pissing her off and she needed to remind them who she was. Her eyes had not left you for even a second. They were burning into you. Calculated. Smart. Intense.

Some desperate attempt and desire to keep you out. To make you back off. Even if it meant missing those morning knocks and tea on the porch. She couldn’t let you in. She wouldn’t.

But you weren’t afraid of her. You never had been. She could tell. You were stubborn. So unbearably kind but stubborn. Stubborn in the way you had kept up your daily visits even when she wouldn’t answer her door, in the way you still waved at her before she even spoke to you. So stubborn in the way you were standing your ground before her.

“ no. I know I should be. I know what you did. But I’m not “ she folded her arms across her chest, quirking a brow. Who had you been talking to? What could you possibly know. So you hadn’t been refraining from asking her questions all along, you’d been getting your information else where. She was almost impressed. It was smart. Calculated even.

At this point she wouldn’t be surprised if you’d cut yourself on purpose to get inside and make her talk.

“ oh? Oh you know what I did? “

“ someone in town… was gossiping I- everyone’s done bad things “ you said with a shrug.

“ what do you know? “ she advanced on you then. Slowly. Crossing the room to where you stood by the wall. You didn’t move. You held your ground.

“ a lot “

“ tell me “ she wanted to hear you say it. To confirm if what you knew was true. But also because maybe some sick part of her needed reminding what she had once been capable of. Of what she had been before she had become that misery of a human whose only joys came from her pseudo kid and the woman who planted flowers for her.

“ all the people you killed. Tortured “ your voice had dropped to almost a whisper as she stood in front of you. But you still didn’t look scared. And she couldn’t decide how that made her feel. Annoyed? Because she clearly didn’t hold the fear inducing powers she once had. Or… relieved? That she had finally come across someone that took what she had done and dusted it under the rug. Accepted it and moved on.

“ and it doesn’t scare you? “

“ you must’ve had your reasons “ there was a heavy tension hanging in the air, she could feel it thickly between you. Soon enough one of you would choke “ I know what you did. I don’t care. You can’t scare me away Tess “ at this point she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to.

No one had challenged her like that. No one like you anyway. No one so… sweet.

Her old self would’ve laughed. Would’ve laughed in your face and thrown you out. But then again. Her old self would’ve laughed at what she had become too.

Things had changed. And she needed to accept it.

“ stop trying to scare me off “ to her surprise you reached up, your hand gentle on her face. She recoiled at first. As if your fingers were steeped in acid and you’d blistered her skin with your touch. But you waited a moment and did it again. And she froze, unsure of what you were doing or how she was supposed to react to it “ I want to be your friend. Let me. You don’t have to scare every single person that wants to care for you away. If anything you damn well need it “

She didn’t know what to say. Stood there like she was made of stone with your gentle hand on her cheek, your face full of nothing but warmth and affection for her. She felt like a deer in headlights.

“ you don’t know what I need “ she finally spoke, taking a single step back so that your hand fell away. Though she was certain she could still feel it. A kind touch was so unfamiliar to her, so rare that it lingered in her skin “ you know nothing about me “

“ I know enough “ so stubborn. So unwilling to take no for an answer or let yourself be pushed away. She kind of liked it. Liked the challenge “ you have to let people in. Let me in. I know how you feel- “

“ how could you possibly know how I feel “ she almost spat “ you’ve lived here. Comfortable and safe “ you gave a small laugh at that

“ not always “ she didn’t know why she had assumed you had been there so long, maybe because you were so… settled. Adapted “ spent two years captured by a bunch of slavers before I even set foot in Jackson. I’m not some sheltered little girl born into comfort Tess “ she took a step back, eyes narrowing as she tried to asses the new information presented to her.

She knew about slavers. Had been taken by them herself at one point. But two years? She had been there two days, in a tiny camp as they prepared to move her to their main base before she’d managed to get away. Those two days had been hell. She couldn’t imagine two years.

Maybe she had underestimated you after all.

But before she could answer you properly there was another knock to her door.

“ only me! “ Maria’s voice sounded as she entered the house, opening her mouth to say something else but stopping when she saw you stood there. She looked violently overjoyed “ oh! I’m sorry. Didn’t know you had company “ it must have been an odd sight to walk into. Tess as stoney faced as ever and you practically gazing at her.

“ sorry I- “

“ did you need something? “ Tess asked

“ lunch, the whole family. Good haul from the hunting crew today “ family. Her family. As dysfunctional as it was she very much wanted to escape the current situation and see them “ but if you’re busy- “

“ no. I’m not. She was just leaving “ she glanced over at you as you gave a small nod and a smile, quietly excusing yourself and heading for the door.

“ just. Think about what I said Tess? I’ll see you tomorrow “

She didn’t hear the end of that for the entirety of lunch. Maria not usually one to pry. But knowing very much that Ellie and Tommy would. Casually mentioning it and… that was that.

Ellie seemed particularly delighted. Looking at her in a way that she recognised from her own childhood when she realised liking girls wasn’t just a her thing. That she wasn’t the only one. But Tess didn’t probe. Though she was happy in the knowledge Ellie would come to her if she needed.

“ y’know I think it’s real nice “ Joel said to her when she stepped outside stating she needed a little air “ she’s softenin you “ Tess scoffed and folded her arms across her chest

“ you have no idea what you’re talking about. She’s a neighbour. And she looks after the flowers. She’s a pain in my ass”

“ baby steps Tess “ she glanced over at him and he was giving her that look that said he knew something was going on inside her head “ you leave the house more now “

“ to my porch and back “ she mumbled not entirely wanting to get into that conversation. She was not in the mood to discuss her long hours trapped inside her house. And her head.

“ baby. Steps “ she sighed and ran a hand over her face. She was tired.

“ she wants to be my friend “ it sounded so unbelievably juvenile to say out loud. She almost regretted saying it

“ and… you don’t want that? “

“ no “ she said maybe a little too quickly

“ right “ she could feel him watching her, trying to read her as he so often did. The way only two people who had been together for so long could do “ I don’t think I believe that “

“ I’m not asking you to “ he sighed again, used to her stubbornness. Her bad moods.

“ you are allowed to have friends Tess. And… more than that. I don’t know what that girls intentions are, I don’t pretend to know how your mind works either. But if you really didn’t like her then why are you still lettin her around? Tess I know would’ve told her to fuck off and threatened her for good measure for even tryna talk to you if you didn’t like her “

“ you’re talking shit “ he laughed and shrugged

“ you’re proving my point. Tess. Just do something. If you want her? Go get her. Tess I know would. And if not? Tell her to leave you be. Cause this mood you’re in… it’s not nice to see “

“ ‘ the Tess you know’ “ she muttered under breath. She didn’t feel like that Tess anymore.

By the time she walked home she couldn’t tell if she was more annoyed by the entire situation or relieved by it because somehow Joel of all people had begun to put things into perspective for her.

Maybe it was both.

Though the annoyance was slightly winning out. She wasn’t soft. She didn’t like the implications that you were softening her. She was stronger than that. Stronger than you. She hadn’t pushed you away because Maria said she needed to be nice. That’s why.

It was.

Wasn’t it?

She felt a sudden desperate need to prove to herself that what she was thinking was correct. And not Joel.

She was not soft. She was in control.

She didn’t quite know what it was that compelled her feet to head up your porch steps rather than her own. Knocking on the door before she’d even fully come to a halt.

Waiting impatiently for you to answer, looking a little surprised to see her when you did appear.

She pushed past the threshold, watching you take a step back in mild confusion at her sudden intrusion, cupping your face in both her hands and kissing you. You stumbled for barely half a second, kissing her back with a muffled moan and your fingers wrapping around her wrists.

The confidence she was used to felt far more present in your space, in the four walls of your home rather than her own.

She pressed you up against the closest wall, kissing you like her life depended on it. Far more in control than she was a few hours earlier. Than she had been in a while.

And this was it. This was the familiarity she had craved wasn’t it? This was the power she had been missing, the ability to take what she wanted when she wanted it. Even when she wasn’t entirely sure it was what she wanted.

So why didn’t it feel the same. Why did it not even slightly fill the void in her chest.

You were breathing heavily as she pulled away to catch her own breath, a joyful almost dopey smile on your face. You looked so incredibly beautiful. Sweet.

She’d break you. She would. She knew she would. It was a vicious awful cycle. Anyone she got close to got hurt. Friend or… more. It would all end the same way.

“ this won’t end well “ she said quietly, not entirely meaning to say it out loud. The words escaping her as she watched you, someone so beautiful and kind didn’t belong with someone like her.

Someone who had not let the awful things that happened to them twist them into something unrecognisable. In the way that Tess had.

It would be a mess.

“ maybe not “ you answered, voice just as quiet “ but did you ever stop to think that maybe it will be okay? “

“ no “ you laughed softly, head leaning back against the wall and your eyes falling closed for a moment. She wished she could have such a carefree look. She didn’t think her face even knew how to relax into such an expression.

“ have a little faith “

AUTUMN

It had been over 20 years since her life had completely fallen apart. And a lot could happen in 20 years. A lot had happened. Tess was good at having bad shit happen and then burying it so deep down that she didn’t have to think about it. She was good at having a blank face when inside she was screaming. But in the end, one person could only hide so much stuff for so long. Eventually it would spill. And every now and again it did.

And when it did? It was suffocating.

It struck her out of no where. She never saw it coming.

Sometimes it almost scared her. Scared her that the stuff she had done wasn’t even the worst of what kept her up at night. She had no remorse for the people she had killed. Tortured. Those bodies and those sounds. They didn’t haunt her. The stuff that had come before that had damaged her beyond repair.

The first few years had been the worst. Before FEDRA had full control, before any rules were in full effect. When everyone ran rampant, when people looted and murdered because they felt like it. When groups formed and did whatever they wanted. To who they wanted. When Tess had been alone. Had left her home with nothing but the clothes on her back and ran. And ran. And by some miracle survived.

That time before Joel. Before the entirety of the group making their way up to Boston.

Tess didn’t get scared. She wasn’t afraid of things. But she had been back then. She had been so afraid.

So utterly powerless and out of control.

She tried to see the positives as ridiculous as it sounded. Tried to twist the shitty things that had happened. The shitty things that she had done. She had done them to survive. And maybe that scared her even more. That she felt justified in her actions.

That she could think back to certain people she had tortured. Killed. Ambushed. And justify it. Not feel as though she had done the wrong thing at all.

And that she would do it all again if she needed to.

She would throw herself in front of trucks feigning an injury. Just a poor, defenceless woman. Beg for help only for Joel and the others to spring from the bushes and take everything they had. She’d kill every man and woman that got in the way of her rise in the smuggling ring. She’d tortured ever last piece of information out of those fuckers who had taken Ellie. Murdered every. Last. Firefly. In that hospital.

All again. A million times over.

But her humanity was still in her somewhere. Buried deep down but there. And when it reared its head it was ugly. Filled with words to make her feel like the worst person alive. Fill her ears with the strangled cries of her son. The sickening sound of the blood that pooled in her husband’s throat.

It made her feel numb. Like she was floating. No longer in her body and desperately trying to claw her way back down to it.

“ Tess? “ she was too lost to react. Too deep inside her own head to even turn around and look at you. But she knew that voice. The voice that had become as familiar as Maria’s. Ellie’s. Joels “ Tess what are you doing it’s freezing out here “ your voice was soft compared to the voices that were screeching inside her head, soothing. Gentle. Quieter yet somehow speaking over the screaming ones.

Your hands fell onto her arm and she flinched, shifting away from your touch.

“ hey. Sorry “ you said softly, hands raised in some kind of surrender “ won’t touch you again “ the voices were still shouting at her, but a little further off now. Like she was on one side of the room and they were on the other. And wasn’t that interesting. Where in the past only Joel had been able to coax her back to reality. Ground her. Now you had. And she had known you far less “ can I sit? “ she gave a small nod and you sat down, leaving a small gap between you both.

Things between the two of you had been a little different as of late.

You hadn’t kissed since that day she’d barged through your front door and re established that she was very much the one holding the reins. But she was letting herself be lighter. Trying her hardest to open up to you. To go into town more. Smile back at people. And it was hard. And slow going. But she was getting there.

Baby steps. Like Joel had said.

“ I’m gonna go get a blanket okay? It’s so cold “ she listened as you went inside, returning a few moments later.

“ why are you here? “ she asked as you sat down beside her again, wrapping the blanket around you both.

“ I was out on late patrol. I saw the light on… was gonna come see why you were still up. Have a chat or something… you didn’t answer so I just poked my head inside and I saw the back door was open“

She gave a small nod and continued staring out at the backyard. She hadn’t really done much to it. But there was a rope swinging attached to the large tree at the bottom now. Ellie loved it.

“ do you need to talk? About anything? “ you asked quietly “ it’s what friends are for you know. Talking “

“ I’ve never been very good at friends “ you gave a small laugh and nodded

“ yeah. I figured that one out myself “ you shuffled a little closer to her, nudging her leg with yours “ you must’ve had friends at some point “

The ones that truly stuck in her mind were Bill and Frank. Frank would’ve loved you she realised very quickly. You were so alike. So happy. Made to see the positive in absolutely every single thing. Yet becoming friends with Frank had been far easier than becoming friends with you.

She’d been different back then.

“ I had. I had friends “ she started, realising in that moment that she had never actually spoken about Bill and Frank since they’d died. Her and Joel had done as they always had and refused to talk about it. Let it settle and weigh heavy until it began to dissipate on its own “ they lived a few miles out of Boston. Met them over the radio “

“ they weren’t in a zone? “

“ no. Bill… fuckin crazy been planning for doomsday his whole life. Had the whole town mapped out and wired up “ she actually cracked a small smile thinking about it “ Frank though. I think. I think he’s the closest thing to a friend I really had “

She missed him. She missed them both. And missing Bill was something she never thought she’d feel, even if he was more open to her company than Joel’s.

You listened diligently as she spoke about Lincoln. Dinners in the garden and Bills stash of supplies, the awkwardness that always lingered between Bill and Joel. The bi monthly drop offs that had started increasing in distance as Frank got sicker and Bill got older. And then finding them with Ellie. The silent moment she had taken in the garden to cry for her lost friends whilst Ellie showered and Joel fixed the car.

“ they sound like amazing people “ she shrugged and glanced over at you for a moment. And maybe it was silly of her to take so long to realise it. But maybe she had a friend in you, maybe more than that. Maybe she had done all along and had been too blinded by her own self loathing and moping around to truly notice it.

It was the early hours of the morning and there you were, sat on her porch steps in the dark. Listening to her talk. Comforting her. And she realised that you were exactly what she needed. In that moment and every other moment to follow. Your compassion and your calming force of a personality. The way you cared…. Loved even. Your stubbornness. Your loyalty.

“ thank you “ she said quietly “ for being here “ you looked up at her and smiled. That warm, sweet smile that made even the coldest of days feel mild. Tess was all sharp edges and bitter words, someone so soft should be keeping a safe distance to ensure they didn’t get cut. But you weren’t afraid. You never had been “ for everything “ she didn’t want to elaborate and you didnt make her.

She reached forward to cup your face in her hand, thumb tracing over your cheekbone. You understood her in a way it had taken Joel 20 years to. Some odd force of nature that wiggled your way through the cracks in her heavily guarded walls.

Her eyes drifted down to your lips. Remembering the hard, forceful kiss you had shared that one time before. The kind she was used to. The kind she was good at. She wasn’t very good at being tender and caring. Kissing and all that lead from it had long since been something she did out of care and love. It was a means to an end. A release. A way to remind herself she was human.

But it didn’t have to be that way anymore.

“ you gonna kiss me or not? “ you whispered. And it made her lips twitch into a smile.

Tess had kissed a lot of people in her time. And if she was perfectly honest she wasn’t entirely a fan. Kisses were not like how the movies or books portrayed them most of the time. Uncoordinated or clumsy, too much teeth or tongue. She didn’t care much for kissing.

But kissing you was different. Kissing you was like a shot of adrenaline straight into her veins. It was the closest she felt she could come to understanding why Joel had been so hooked on pills before Ellie. It was addictive.

But something had changed now. Some locked gate inside of her had finally clicked open and you had seized the opportunity to slip your way inside. And she surprised herself with the realisation that it actually didn’t seem all that terrifying now, having you there. Having those feelings and thoughts.

Of course there was still… something. But it was less so.

Holding your face in her hand, your willingness to let her lead and melt into her. With every soft and gentle movement of her lips against yours she felt herself slipping. Like when the winter storms would hit Boston and her worn down boots couldn’t find grip on the icy paths.

But this slip wouldn’t end with her falling flat on her ass and nursing a bruised leg. You were keeping her tethered. Your fingers that were looped around her wrist, your hair that was tickling her face.

It made her feel startlingly real. Alive. Present. Present in a moment in a way she hadn’t done all day, she’d spent the day drifting. Some far off place in her head where her demons scrambled over her and suffocated the air out of her lungs. But she was breathing fine now, breathing in air that was yours, breathing as if you were her air.

She kissed you until her jaw started to ache, not sure how long it had been or how many quick seconds apart to catch her breath there had been. But when she finally did let you go the fog that had been blinding her all day seemed to have disappeared. Everything felt as though she were looking through glasses that had just had the lenses cleaned.

Sharper. Clearer.

“ it’s really fuckin cold “ she murmured, causing a giggle to bubble past your lips.

“ yeah. It’s freezing “ you didn’t seem even mildly pissed that that had been her first words after practically kissing your face off. Instead you both silently seemed to agree to go inside, collapsing onto her couch and kissing some more.

Something had shifted after that. Had changed after she’d woken up the following morning on the couch with you.

She actively chose to be around you, even more so than she had been. Spent enough time with you that people began to murmur about it. But she found she no longer cared.

There was still an odd weight looming in her chest, one she was certain may never actually go away. But it was far lighter than it had been.

WINTER

Tess had always preferred winter to summer. Especially after Boston. She hated those sticky summer days. Especially in that apartment that was freezing in winter but a sauna in the summer, no comfortable in between. Days when she felt like the heat was suffocating her and every drop of water she drank sweated its way out of her within the minute.

Winter felt so much… fresher. She liked the snow and the opportunities to wrap up and be warm on her own terms.

Some people found it bleak. But she rather enjoyed it.

You seemed to like it too. Because you could use the cold weather as an excuse to be close to her. And it felt nice. To have you there, to have you wanting to be near her. Even if she was beginning to believe you were forgetting your gloves on purpose now so she would hold your hand.

The arrival of the winter months had brought along the silent confirmation that you two were… something now. Dating didn’t feel right. That word didn’t feel like it belonged in the world anymore. And there had been no real discussions of the matter, mostly due to her own refusal to mention it. And ‘girlfriend’… it felt a little juvenile. Even if was Ellie teasing her every fucking day that you were in fact her girlfriend now.

Jackson was starting to feel more like somewhere she could begin to call home. Riding back through the gates with Joel, watching them close behind her but not feeling that feeling of imprisonment anymore. Not feeling as trapped as the walls in Boston, but finally feeling safe.

She walked into the Bison, happy to find it slightly less crowded than it could be. She walked over to the bar, smiling at the guy stood drying off a glass

“ hey… she here? “ something in her still prickled with an odd sense of anxiety that she didn’t need to ask for you by name now. That they all knew who she meant. That Tess would not venture into the bison alone for anyone else, and that you would never be leaving with anyone else but her.

But she pushed it aside.

“ yeah she’s out the back. I’ll grab her “ she waited patiently as he disappeared through the door, glancing around with some still deep rooted fear that someone was watching her. She didn’t think she’d ever shake that. But she had to remind herself that no one there was after her. No one there was watching her to find her weakness and abuse it.

“ hey you “ you appeared through the door a few moments later and you greeted with that beaming smile of yours, looking at her as if she were the singular source of joy in your life. You leant over the bar and she met you half way, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. It was the kind of kiss that was… familiar. The kind two people in love shared without thought, something as simple and regular as breathing.

“ having fun? “

“ oh yeah. Making sandwiches, riveting stuff “ she watched you wipe your hands off on a towel before slipping your way out from behind the bar “ but I’d really like to go home now “ Tess nodded and offered you her arm without needing to be asked, your hands slipping into their usual place and huddling close against her.

It was getting chillier out, the sky had taken on that odd yellowy state that signalled impending snow. The kind of day that back in Boston would’ve been some forewarning of an impending low ration season. But there was no such thing in Jackson.

You spoke about your shift in the bison as you walked and Tess listened diligently, all the while silently musing over you asking to go home. And very much heading with Tess towards hers.

But. You stayed over more often than not now. Your things were starting to intermingle with her own, the space that had previously felt so barren and so disconnected from herself… now felt almost like a home.

There were some of Ellie’s drawings tacked to the fridge, her talent alone making the space seem a little more lived in. A few pictures had been framed now too and dotted about the place. Tess, Joel and Ellie over for dinner at Tommy and Maria’s. Another of Ellie pulling a stupid face with Joel looking slightly amused at her side. One of you and her, you beaming at the camera as she looked at you. Maria had taken that one much to Tess’ original dismay. But she was quite thankful for it now.

That was the first piece of you that had made its way into her home.

You had a toothbrush in her bathroom now. A spare jacket on the hooks by the door. A small box of gardening tools by the front door. A hand knitted blanket across the back of her couch.

You were in the air even. The air wafted of the flowers you adored wherever you went, you filled the place she had only ever referred to as a house into home.

And sometimes it almost made her want to laugh. Laugh at herself for what she had become. Tess didn’t take things slow like this. Tess didn’t let her space be invaded by someone else. Tess didn’t have feelings or let herself… love.

Which was exactly what she was feeling more and more these days. Which was completely and utterly terrifying but she found she was just letting it happen. Because she could. And because she was allowed to.

She wasn’t old Tess anymore. If anything she was beginning to feel as though she was slowly becoming more and more like the version of herself that had existed before an apocalypse had destroyed the world. The kind of woman that did date and did take things slow. That had girlfriends or boyfriends and wasn’t scared. Was care free and happy.

And maybe that was more scary than the fear she had felt at losing the version of herself that had developed over 20 years of hell.

She was beginning to think that nothing would ever be without fear these days. But she was working on it. And it was lessening.

And you becoming a permanent fixture in her house was part of that.

Quite often the nights ended exactly as they currently were too. With you walking home together, cuddling up together on the couch to escape the chill of winter.

And making out until she forgot how to breathe.

It had not been more than that. She hadn’t allowed herself to let it be. Had happily let you sit in her lap or let you pull her down over you and sink into the couch cushions. But she never let it progress.

She didn’t truly think about why and you had never asked it of her either. Until tonight.

“ why are you holding back? “ you whispered, pulling back from her slightly. Still close enough that she could feel your breath against her lips.

Why was she holding back?

Because you weren’t some random girl she picked up in the zone because she was bored and lonely. Because until you, sex had become something with little feeling. Something to do because she needed some human contact that wasn’t Joel stitching up a stab wound.

And it was funny, really, when she thought about why she was holding back. Why as much as she may have wanted to, as much as the old her would’ve gone and gotten what she wanted months ago… she hadn’t.

Because it hadn’t felt right. Hadn’t been the time. You deserved more than that. You deserved more than a quick, meaningless fuck off somewhere secluded because she wanted to feel like a human being again. No, you deserved more.

Maybe you still did. She couldn’t figure it out yet.

But what she did know, was if now was not the time then she would wait. She would wait a million and one lifetimes. As much as she knew the short serotonin boost would breathe some life into her for a few hours again… she would endure. Because when she really thought about it, that wasn’t what she wanted really.

She wanted you. Of course she did. Needed you. In every single sense of the phrase. You had been a shiny little light in her darkness, you had prevailed and endured her bitterness to discover something sweet hiding beneath.

And so you deserved the best. Deserved every ounce of love and compassion Tess could find deep within herself.

“ where’d you go? Hm? “ you whispered softly, fingers trailing along the side of her face and tucking an unruly strand of her greying hair behind her ear “ you seem… else where “

“ just thinkin “ your touch was gentle, fingertips somehow still smooth and soft. So different to hers, calloused from years of fighting and doing shitty jobs in the QZ. She felt too rough for you. Too sharp around the edges. Like her hold on you alone could shatter you.

She knew in reality you weren’t delicate. She had watched you shoot like a trained marksmen. Had seen you jump on clickers and stab them until you face was splattered in blood. Chop firewood for town like it was nothing. You were strong. Capable. And yet she felt like she could bruise you like a peach just by looking at you wrong. She was no stranger to your strengths, your capabilities. Yet to her? She felt she could always see you as breakable.

Fine China. Soft fruit. The petals of the flowers you cared so much about.

Soft and pure and delicate. Not made to be touched by the rough and ready hands of the likes of her

And yet…

“ thinking about me? “ you said it with a small laugh, half joking. Half hoping. She gave you a small smile, a small nod.

“ of course “ it came out so quiet she wasn’t even sure she’d really said it right away. But your warm smile told her she had. And you’d heard. And even now, even in that moment, she still took a moment to be amazed at that smile. Amazed that it was because of her. You were smiling because she was thinking of you. You were on her mind. And you liked that.

Her hands twitched slightly at their place on your waist. Almost involuntarily. Like they were trying to make her move, go ahead. Do… something.

You looked down for a second before letting go of your gentle hold of her face, sliding your hands along her arms and trailing your fingers over her wrists.

“ I’m not going to break “ you picked up her hands, moving them down to brush over your ass, your thighs “ you can touch me “ she was afraid she’d do something stupid like blush. So she kissed you again, gently tugging you close by her soft hold on your thighs.

Your hands slid back up her arms, over her shoulders, up to hold the back of her neck, your fingertips slipping under the collar of her shirt. Everything about you was soft. Precise and purposeful. She could practically feel the desire radiating out of your fingers. But also the care.

She hadnt been touched like that in… a while. Touched in a way that conveyed love. A way that was gentle. Caring. Deliberate and slow. Like you wanted to take your time, in a way akin to how you had behaved since you had met her. You wanted to know her. To understand her. To peel back the layers she kept pulling on to keep you out.

And maybe a part of her would always want to keep you out, deep down. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a vulnerability she was still learning to adjust to.

But she was adjusting. Had been. And it felt right now. Felt right having the soft weight of you on her thighs, having your gentle fingers rid her of her sweater. Felt the shame of her equally as raging desire dissipate.

It was okay. She was okay.

She watched your deft fingers carefully unbutton your plaid shirt, one that now she thought about it looked remarkably like one of hers. When had you taken that she wondered.

She let her hands slip over the bare skin of your waist, disappearing under the soft worn cotton of your- her? - shirt. There was a scar along your ribs, the kind that had been there a while. No longer angry and red but faded and soft. She ran her thumb across it.

“ chains “ you said, answering her unasked question.

“ the slavers? “ she murmured, still tracing her thumb over the long stretch of scarred skin. You hummed a reply, your eyes watching her intently

“ plenty of permanent reminders of those fuckers on me “ it still baffled her how you had endured such cruelty and appeared on the other side as gentle as you were. She wanted to track those fuckers down. Torture every single last one that had even looked at you wrong. And reserve a special place in hell for the ones who had left their permanent marks.

She leant forward, dipping her head and pressing her lips to the scar. Your chest deflated in a soft sigh as she did, ghosting her lips over the skin in some feeble attempt to replace the pain with care. Your fingers laced into her hair, silently urging her to kiss you some more. And she did. She kissed up your chest, breath stuttering embarrassingly as her cheek brushed against the cotton covered swell of your chest as she pressed kisses to your sternum.

Everything about you was soft.

She inhaled deeply, your skin smelt of that familiar scent of being outdoors. As if winter air had been bottled and sprayed across your skin like perfume. Something so usually mundane and common place, yet intoxicating on you.

She kissed up your neck, skin in flames with every single soft sigh it caused you to let out.

“ can… can I.. “ you said in between kisses, hands now fumbling with the button of her jeans.

“ not here “ she murmured, pulling away from your lips slightly reluctantly “ you deserve better than the fuckin couch “ that made you smile, head titling to the side inquisitively.

“ well aren’t you just a lady “ Tess scoffed, patting your leg gently to urge you to stand up

“ lady? You must be thinkin of someone else “ you seemed reluctant to stop kissing her, grabbing her multiple times on the way out of the lounge. Including a long pause on the stairs where she almost regretted suggesting you move. And seriously debated just letting the entire thing play out right there on the staircase.

She’d never really been one for kissing. But with you she couldn’t stop. She was obsessed. A woman possessed. And she was taking her time.

But she remained on track. Leading you into her bedroom and the bed she had barely slept in.

She sat down on the edge, watching you as you closed the door before turning to her. Leaning back against it for a moment.

You were truly something. Stood there in your jeans and your bra. Your mismatched socks and your ruffled hair. Lips kiss swollen and eyes watching her intently.

“ c’mere “ she said quietly, gesturing you over with a tilt of her head. You wandered over, coming to a stop in front of her and reaching out to cup her face gently “ you’re so fuckin beautiful you know “ she said, not entirely intending to say it out loud and rather just think it. But the blush that crept across your cheeks made her glad she had said it.

“ you think? “ she hummed a reply, her fingers trailing up and down the backs of your thighs.

She didn’t know what it was about having you there in that room. Her room. Alone. It felt so incredibly intimate. In fact the entire night had. She’d never taken such… time. Time to explore and to appreciate, to admire. And now to have you in bedroom, a room she had barely been able to step foot in alone since arriving in town. But felt almost at ease with you there.

It was a lot to attempt to process all at once. And so she decided not to. That it wasn’t the time to send herself spiralling into yet another pit of despair and dread, she focussed all her attention back to you.

“ you’re sweet “

“ I’m not sweet I’m honest “ you smiled again at that. In reality she was not an honest person. She was deceitful and not to be trusted by anyone but Joel. But you trusted her. And she was honest with you.

She was. You truly were beautiful. And she felt a fool that it had taken her as long as it had to stop and really look at you. Had spent so long despising your presence rather than admiring you from day one.

She slipped her hands further up your legs, cupping the denim clad flesh of your ass and pushing you forward slightly. You took the hint, stepping over her legs and placing yourself back in her lap. Your arms looped loosely around her neck.

She couldn’t resist diving forward, lips against your neck and teeth grazing your soft skin in a way that made the most delicious sounds leave your lips.

“ oh, Tess “ your fingers tugged lightly at her hair as she continued her gentle assault, hands wandering and desperate to touch as much of you as she could. “ I can’t take much more of this teasing “ you whispered after a few moments, tugging at her hair to make her raise her head.

Her fingers ghosted over the blooming marks on your skin. Blossoming spots of red and purple, marks of a gentle cruelty that had sent the most beautiful look of bliss to overcome your face. Yet another mark of possession on your skin, but not of chains and binds this time…. Of hatred. But of teeth. Of lips. Of desire.

Possession through the deep rooted need to keep you as her own, but simply to hold. To protect. To love.

“ Tess “ she wouldn’t make you wait any longer. She wanted to keep touching, to commit every single inch of you to memory. But she figured that she’d have plenty of opportunities to do so.

And she would give you anything you asked of her. So she would not make you wait.

Through a desire blurred haze she manoeuvred you to lay down, a blur of clothing making its way to the floor and soft moans as her hands ventured downwards.

“ no no keep looking at me “ she said, her voice as quiet as it had been since you’d lead her up those stairs, coaxing your head up from where you were hiding with her free hand “ that’s it I wanna see you “ you slipped a hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her down to press your forehead against hers with a small nod, lips parted slightly as she moved her fingers in soft circles.

She lost track of time. Of all straight forward thinking. The seconds and the minutes all blurring into a moonlit haze of body parts in her mind. She took her time, breaking you down and unwinding every single knot under your skin.

Nothing else existed outside the four walls of that room, just you and her. The soft lewd sounds of her fingers between your legs, your quiet whimpers and gasps into her mouth, the rustle of the sheets beneath you as you arched and writhed beneath her.

There was something incredible about having you there, foreheads pressed together as she hovered over you, something so… romantic. How your hands held onto her, fingertips warm like they were branding her skin. Isolated in that room in a newer way than she had been used to.

And when she finally brought you to your long awaited climax, she watched you intently. Admiring the beautiful way your face moved and contorted in pleasure, watching your lips part and your legs tremble.

You returned the favour once you’d regained your regular breathing pattern. Pushing her onto her back and leading a trail of soft kisses down her chest and her stomach, settling between her legs and sending her eyes falling into the back of her head.

Her back arching off the mattress and her hand twisting into your hair, relishing in a bliss she hadn’t felt in an incredibly long time.

And then you lay there together. A comfortable silence enveloping the room, only disturbed by the occasional kiss or soft sigh.

Tess’ fingers played gently with your hair, inevitably lulling you into sleep. And she took the time to think.

She realised that in the time she had lived there it was her first night actually sleeping in her bed. She glanced down at where you were sound asleep on her chest, the weight and warmth of you pressed against her keeping away any anxious thoughts that wanted to creep into her mind.

And she didn’t want to escape downstairs, didn’t want to run. To push you away and tell you to leave. That sleeping together was far more intimate to her than any form of sex act could be.

The thoughts didn’t come.

It had taken her meeting you to finally come to terms with what her life was now. And the things that she had done. That in the current climate there were really no good or bad people. Just human beings trying to survive. Do whatever it took to live to see another day. Doing unspeakable things to get by and trying to convince themselves afterwards that they had done the right thing. That they had had no choice.

And that was okay. She was coming to peace with that. She would never fully forget, but neither would anyone else. But that was okay. Because as long as she had you by her side, she was quite content in the knowledge that she could handle it.

That then come spring those flowers you had planted would bloom again and she would let her fears die with the frost.

Everything would be okay.

[critical-birb]

Something I'm learning from Age of Calamity is that Revali's attitude....really is only directed at Link and no one else.

Bird boi is actually super supportive towards everyone else. He thanks people when they help him in battle and commends their hard work. He calls Urbosa a worthy ally and Daruk a force to be reckoned with and is so grateful to Mipha for her healing. Sure he's still a smug bastard about his own battle prowess - but he has so much dialogue just complimenting and praising the other Champions.

Except Link. He fucking hates Link and there is zero explanation for that and I just love this so much. Dude hasn't even pulled the master sword yet, Ravioli saw this unimportant blond man and said u know what? Fuck you in particular.

[caramel-catss]

comma flirting

on ao3

word count: 4.4k

a collection of letters between link and ravio; ravioli falling in love

Mr. Hero,

I’m writing to inform you that your rental on the Sand Rod has expired. My assistant, Sheerow, has come to collect this item, and it will be available for re-rental at 50 rupees.

Best,

Ravio

Ravio,

I’m in the middle of assfuck Desert Palace and writing this on your envelope. Enclosed is a purple rupee. I have the rod.

Link

Mr. Hero,

Sheerow is coming again to pick up my Hookshot. Please don’t wrestle with him this time.

Best,

Ravio

P.S. Please visit the shop for purchases you make.

Ravio,

I’ll be there tomorrow.

Link

Mr. Hero,

Don’t worry when you open this letter - no rentals are due - though I’m sure you will anyway. I’ve been meaning to ask this since they’ve been in season for a while, but you haven’t been around recently. Is it alright if I harvest your apples while you’re out? You can trust me not to sell them, heh.

Thanks,

Ravio

Ravio,

Go for it, I won’t be home anytime soon. Juicer’s in the basement. Sell them and I’ll kick you out.

Link

Mr. Hero,

Since my retirement, I’ve been moving away my tables and letting the actual house part of your house take over. I’m excited for you to see the place! 

Your orchard produced beautiful apples, but there’s so many I’m not sure what to do with them. I’ve never seen so much fruit in my life! I’ve learned some baking recipes from the locals, so I’ve been trying a few of those. Let me know when you’re heading home soon so I can make pie!

Stay safe.

Ravio

Rav,

I’m fine; that gash from last month is just a scar now. I’m as safe as possible. I’m going home next week to pay you for that red potion even though you refuse.

Link

Link,

Don’t pay me back for that red potion. You were unconscious from blood loss.

Do come back home though, before Sheerow gets into the pie.

Ravio

Ravio,

I’m on my way right now. Note the purple rupee in this envelope.

Link

Mr. Hero,

You’re insufferable. I’ll see you soon.

Best,

Ravio

Ravio,

I’m writing this in case your stupid bird manages to find a portal before I do. Hylia knows he will. I miss your apple pie.

I hope Lorule’s doing okay. I hope your Triforce is actually back. It’s finicky. The Goddesses don’t like to fully honor wishes I wonder if you hold Courage.

I’m sorry. This is stupid. This is a stupid letter. You’re never getting this.

Link

I changed my mind I need to keep writing before I go insane

Zelda wants me to move into the castle. I don’t want to but every time I try to bring that up I feel like there’s sand in my throat. Like that one time at the Desert Palace. I still have that letter from you. I can’t believe I always wrote on the envelopes.

She’s officially queen now and says I should retire from being Hero and reveal my princehood to the public. Fuck, I never admitted that to anyone. It’s not like you’ll see this letter. Are you Hilda’s brother too? Nevermind.

I really, really hate the castle. Is that a selfish thing to think?

My uncle died there

I’m running out of parchment so I’m throwing this away. Goodnight, Ravio.

Ravio,

I guess you’ve become my diary now. Writing things out helps, I think.

Zelda and I fought today. I think I pissed her off. Who am I kidding. I pissed her off. I told her I’m already figurehead enough as the Hero and being a prince is too much shit for me to handle. She got real butthurt and almost sad? I don’t know. I’m bad at this shit. She kicked me out of the castle and said we could talk about it later. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

I never actually told you about the brother thing, did I? We found out a while ago. My first adventure, I think. Been a while.

I know Lorule needs its Triforce but please don’t rely on it to solve everything because it doesn’t.

I need to get a notebook or something. Or just suck it up and buy more parchment in Kakariko. I’m harvesting more apples tomorrow because it helps me not to think. I miss your apple pie. I miss you. I miss not being alone in that house.

Maybe I’ll just write more letters. Oh well. Goodnight.

Link

Ravio,

Kakariko was out of parchment for a while so it’s been a month since I’ve written things down. Zelda and I worked out the prince thing, I guess, because we didn’t discuss it any more after that day. As it stands, I’m still the asshole who saved the country more than enough times.

I’ve been reading up on these legends about Heroes. I wonder how it was like for them.

Other than that it’s been boring. I decided to juice half the apples and sell the rest. You better show up soon so I don’t have to sell the next crop.

Zelda says there’s a disturbance by the Sacred Realm entrance. Almost like there’s a crack between worlds there. By the Goddesses, Ravio, what are you and Hilda doing? Just don’t be stupid and don’t get yourself killed.

Please.

Link

Link,

I can only imagine your embarrassment when this letter reaches you. The thought makes me giggle, which I know will make you more embarrassed, which makes me giggle more.

Sheerow flew through the crack as soon as Hilda and I opened it. He arrived back to me a few hours later with three envelopes that I don’t think you intended to send.

I miss making pie, and baking in general. Retirement didn’t last long after I returned home to my post serving Hilda. I hold Wisdom, not Courage, and the Triforce is doing wonders for Lorule. I’m sorry it hasn’t treated you well. You deserve better than that. I’m sorry about your uncle, too.

I’m proud you stood up for yourself. No, I’m not blood related to Hilda, as far as either of us know. But you’ve been living life fine without being a prince, you’ll continue to live fine without it. Just stay safe in your Hero business. And for the other Heroes, I don’t know. Lorule has no Heroes, other than you. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for them, though.

I’m sending Sheerow back with this letter before I officially leave Lorule with Hilda. We’ll both be in the castle. I’m sure Zelda has discovered the crack, but if you may, please tell her we’ll arriving with Lorulean soldiers and nobility. I’ll visit you as soon as possible. I miss you too.

Sincerely,

Ravio

Ravio, you bastard,

I will be at Hyrule Castle at the asscrack of dawn and if you aren’t there I will fight you.

Link

Dearest Link,

This letter hopefully won’t arrive to you via Sheerow as I’m leaving it in your pack. Inside is food, weapons, the rings you asked for, and other items that you needed. Thank Lolia your bag has an expansion charm, because even my amazing packing skills wouldn’t have cut it. For the love of the three, stay safe out there. It’s been months since you’ve last been on a journey.

As Lorule’s ambassador, I’ll be at the castle most days, but I’ll take care of the house and continue baking. Zelda has been teaching me recipes from the castle kitchens, and they’re quite lovely!

Also as Lorule’s ambassador, I request you send reports on the happenings in Hytopia so that we may bring sufficient aid. As Ravio, I need to know if you’re safe; you know how much I fret.

Please write.

Sincerely,

Ravio

Dear Ravio,

You’re the craziest worrywart I’ve met, and Queen Zelda is my sister. I’m happy to supply reports, both of Hytopia and my own health, but I promise you that I’m fine. This is either my sixth or seventh adventure. I genuinely lost count.

As the Hero of Legend, I report that Hytopia is suffering from a “fashion crisis”. The two others operating with me are sufficient in their help, and I am currently confident in our quest to save Princess Styla. I estimate six months, maximum, will be spent on this journey. I will reach out if foreign aid is needed.

As Link, I need you to know with utmost honesty that this place is fucking crazy. There are two bitches following me anywhere, and by the Goddesses are they amateurs, claiming to be the Hero of Legend. I’m so tired of them. The princess is crying and hiding around town because she’s wearing a fucking brown jumpsuit and she can’t take it off. I feel like I’m slowly losing my sanity as each day passes, but what else is new? 

The fights are fine and easy. I’ve had to wear a skirt for the past week for complicated reasons, but I’ve found that this shit is actually practical. Who would’ve thought?

Write me back so I don’t go insane.

Link

Dearest Link,

I cannot deny that I’ve had to read your letter multiple times over to get through it without laughing. You never fail to take any boredom from my day, even when all I do is talk to nobility and worm my way through politics. 

I’m not sure what to write about. I’ve tried apple turnovers for the first time, but they haven’t come out the best. I’m spending time with the castle’s baker and pastry chef whenever I can. I’m sure you’ll be happy once you’re home. Speaking of home, Sheerow’s starting to relieve himself in the house again. I don’t think he likes the bird cage, but I haven’t had time to fix this problem yet. Please give me your blessing to let him fly free again.

Stay sane,

Ravio

Dear Ravio,

Make that bird promise to stop shitting on my carpet and you have a deal. 

I’ve had to wear more green in the past month than I’ve ever had to in my life - they made me dye my hair, for Goddess sakes - and I’m ready to never see that color again. Can you burn down the forest for me so the grass is brown? Don’t do that, Zelda will have our heads.

Apple turnovers aren’t too hard, I’m sure you’ll get it soon. Send one over if Sheerow can fly fast enough.

I’ll be home before year’s end.

Link

Dearest Link,

You’ll be pleased to hear that the forest is gone and we’ve both been banished to the Dark World. 

I’m kidding. I’ve been discussing with Zelda on the prospect of me gaining Hyruleian citizenship, and Hilda says she requests you receive Loruleian citizenship as well, seeing as you’re our Hero. The process for both is very complicated and apparently the Queens can’t just write us down for both without backlash from nobility, enough that it won’t be worth it. I’ve been looking for the easiest ways, and including the benefits on tax, marriage ironically comes up. I’ll keep searching.

I got the turnover recipe down; Sheerow should be arriving with a package of them for you and your “hero” friends. Enjoy!

I’m glad you’ll be home soon, even though it’s only summer. Stay safe out there, as always.

Sincerely,

Ravio

Dear Ravio,

I don’t know Hyrulean law well but I think you can keep citizenship after divorce. I don’t know about you, but I personally don’t give a shit. We could marry for the benefits and if either of us sorry fucks finds someone, we divorce.

Link

P.S. Those were the best turnovers I’ve had in my life. Keep making them.

Dearest Link,

It’s a decade of marriage before citizenship becomes unconditional, so if you’re fine with that, I don’t mind either. I’m glad you liked the turnovers, I’ll send more once the orchard produces more apples. Also, how are you doing in Hytopia?

Sincerely,

Ravio

Dear Ravio,

I’ll be dead within the decade, so fuck it, let’s do it. I’m leaving a ring in the envelope. For my ego, please pretend like this is the best damn proposal you could have ever dreamed of. 

Hytopia is doing well and Princess Styla is back to normal. I’m avoiding the ports and taking the scenic way home, so I’ll be back in two weeks.

Link

Dearest Link,

Don’t joke about that, please. I’m glad you’re on your way. I’ll see you soon.

Your proposal has had me swooning and I spent three days in recovery at the castle. On a real note, Zelda and Hilda are both confused and slightly furious at us. I believe we simply found a unique situation to this problem.

Sincerely,

Ravio

Rav,

I’m at Kakariko this morning to pick up bread. I didn’t want to wake you up. I should be back by noon.

Link

Link -

Emergency call from the castle, some monster invasion. I’m sure you’ll hear about it soon.

- Ravio

My Ravio,

Killing the monsters you had a meeting about yesterday, then Zelda wants me at the castle for wedding stuff. I’ll see you tonight.

Link

I have a dinner tonight so I’ll be gone when you get off work. Pie is in the oven for you. “My”?

- Ravio

We’re getting married, aren’t we?

Link

Link and Ravio,

I wish you the sincerest congratulations on your marriage, though the circumstances of it are definitely exploiting a loophole that I’d have half a mind to fix. Regardless, may you both be blessed with peaceful and long lives. My brother, I am so proud of you for how far you’ve come. My brother-in-law, you are an amazing friend, and I’m excited to be family with you. 

Peace and prosperity for you both!

Sincerely,

Zelda

Ravio and Link,

I am amazed that this is happening, for multiple reasons. I suppose it is my fault for being surprised, however, knowing my advisor. Hero of Hyrule, I request you take care of Ravio; Ravio, I request you take care of Link. Perhaps your personalities are only compatible with each other after all.

Best wishes for you both,

Hilda

Link,

It’s been a week with no word from you, and I’m beginning to worry. I’m sending Sheerow off with this letter but I’m unsure if it’ll reach you, so if it does, I can only beg you to write back. These new monsters, the black-blooded ones, have been retreating some. Zelda is recruiting small forces of people to make them back off from towns, and it’s worked so far. We are all worried about you. Zelda and Hilda have been asking me where you are, and I don’t know how to explain that I don’t know.

I can only assume you’ve ended up in one of those portals they’ve emerged from. Your pack is missing, as well as some of your rings, armors, and gears. You left your extra pair of boots behind, I have them for you. I have your extra weapons, too. Please come back for them. Please come back.

I miss you. I hope you’re okay. Sheerow is pissing on the carpet again.

Yours,

Ravio

Dearest Ravio,

Time travel is fucking weird, so I have no idea when this’ll reach you. I’m fine. I’ve been pulled into another adventure, this time with my own kin. When the portals spit us out back home, I’ll sit down and have a long talk with you. We promised not to keep secrets from each other, remember? I trust you, but I have limited parchment so I can’t write it all down right now. 

In summary, though, I’m with other Links from around history. I met my fucking descendant. It’s crazy. They call me Legend; there’s 9 of us. I’m the veteran, apparently.

I’m sorry this is short. I hope I’ll be home soon. I miss you. Tell Sheerow to stop shitting himself, and while you’re at it, tell Zelda to stop shitting herself too. I’ll be okay.

Yours,

Link

My dearest Link,

I’m relieved you’re alright. Zelda laughed when I passed on your message, and she’s in a better mood now. Hilda also seems relieved. I’m awaiting your coming home soon. 

Your descendant? I expected those portals led to different dimensions, not across time. What is he like? I would consider you a veteran in your field, Link; you’ve saved more than 5 separate nations.

I made Sheerow promise not to piss on the carpet anymore, but I don’t think a bird will hold his word well, haha. 

We all miss you. If When you and your traveling companions come by, I’ll be here to welcome you all. I’ll see you soon.

Yours,

Ravio

Dearest Ravio,

Stop worrying about me, damnit. The Goddess will keep me around long enough to keep running errands for her. Sheerow, you stupid bird, it’s cage for you if you don’t shit outside. I’m glad Zelda and Hilda are okay.

We call him Hyrule, the Traveler. He’s some centuries down the line, the next Link, and I’ve been to his world. It makes me worry about the future. Rav, I’m really, really worried. I don’t think I’ve done enough 

Stay safe.

Yours,

Link

My Link,

You’ve done enough. More than enough. Never forget that.

If Hyrule falls, then at the very least, you defended it with all your life. You gave it precious time to be prosperous. You’re the Hero of Legend for a reason, Link.

Zelda wanted to include her own message on this letter when she heard that you’re distraught, so I’m leaving the rest of the space to her. Stay safe.

Yours,

Ravio

Link -

Hyrule’s history consists of both golden and dark ages. The Heroes of past all fought hard and performed their duty, and sometimes, the Kingdom falls regardless. However. Hyrule always rises again. I understand your worry for us, for Hyrule; but even when we fall in the future, a new Hero arises, right? Hyrule will be okay. You’ve done everything asked of you, and that is more than enough.

My doors are open if you need comfort or advice. Please, if you need to, seek me out. I’m here for you, like I’ve always been, always remember that.

Your sister,

Zelda

Dearest Ravio,

I’m sorry I worried you. I’ll be home soon. I’ll tell you everything then.

We’re in my Hyrule right now. I can tell from the magic, but we’re far out from the kingdom. Prepare ingredients for 9 - we have a cook, don’t worry - and expect me home within week’s end.

Yours,

Link

P.S. Zelda, we need to talk. There’s a curse. I’ll be at the castle promptly.

My dearest Link,

Please note the package attached to this letter. There’s two apple pies for you all, rupees for the Smith’s payment, and the Captain’s scarf which he couldn’t grab before you were all whisked away. Zelda has also left rings with protective charms for the others with none.

One more thing. The hibiscus plant is flowering, but I forgot to pick one for you earlier. I placed a stasis charm on it, so I hope it’ll be okay when it reaches you. I tried to pick the best color from your description; I hope I did her justice.

Best wishes for you all!

Yours,

Ravio

Dearest Ravio,

The hibiscus is perfect. Thank you.

The Captain thanks you for his scarf (he was whining like a toddler without it), and the Smithy sends you back your change. Pass on my thanks to Zelda for the rings. Your pies are delicious, as always.

Nothing much has happened lately, nothing worth writing about. We’re in the Champion’s Hyrule, and it’s so large that I feel grateful for the distance between our Kingdoms now. I never want to walk again.

Yours,

Link

My dearest Link,

I, once again, am entirely unsure if this will reach you. I’m writing from my bunk. It’s been an interesting past week.

I’ve been thrust through a portal of my own, thankfully able to prepare first. I met the Captain again; I can see why he recognized me now! I’m doing okay, and I’m fine and safe. I’ve run into Wind, too, and a boy who almost looks like Time. 

Link, I think I met her too. She matches everything you described, hibiscus and all. I don’t know how she’s here, either. She’s kind.

I’ll write as much as I can - it should be more exciting, now! - and I hope we’ll both be home safe soon.

Yours,

Ravio

My dearest Ravio,

Excuse me, you’re fighting in the fucking War of Eras!? Tell Warriors if he puts you on the front lines I’ll kill him. Slowly. By the Three, you better not get killed or hurt or ANYTHING along those lines. And you need to get home safe as soon as possible so the chance to is gone.

I don’t know what to say about her. I don’t know how she’s there, either, but be kind to her. And tell her I say hi, I guess, if she remembers me. Don’t let her go ba

Don’t open any time paradoxes, I know I’ll be the sorry fuck who saves you. Stay safe, damnit.

Yours,

Link

My dearest Link,

You never fail to make me laugh. And you call me a worrywart! I’m fine, don’t worry. Everyone is sweet and they take extra care to keep the ones from other times alive. Unfortunately, I think informing Mr. Captain Hero Sir of your threats would create a time paradox, as he doesn’t know you yet. Feel free to threaten him after-the-fact in your group, though!

Marin remembers you. She tells you to stop being a grump, and that’s only after my few descriptions of you! She also congratulated us on our marriage, though it’s been a year since. She appreciates the hibiscus plant and your pursuit of music when you’re home. She also says you should retire.

I understand why you care for her, Link. Really, you are a sweet person.

Yours,

Ravio

My dearest Ravio,

The Captain laughed in my face, because he’s an asshole. I would bet on my life that he’ll keep you safe, though; he’s captain for a reason. And maybe I do worry too much, but I have good reason to.

I’m glad she’s alive. This is selfish, but ask her if Koholint is doing okay, please. Tell her I’ll retire when the ladies upstairs let me.

I don’t know how to reply to your last line, Rav. But thank you, I guess. It’s hard to be kind in this world.

Yours,

Link

My dearest, Link,

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to write for a while. Sheerow went missing, and with no time traveling postbird, I haven’t been able to send letters. The war has also kept me busy and the paper has been scarce. I miss you so, so much.

I’m home. I don’t know how long it’s been for you, but it was around a year and a half for me. Sheerow is safe; he’s been at home this whole time. I’ll be waiting for you here again.

I like to think I discovered a bit of courage for myself while out there. Maybe the amount you rubbed off on me finally paid off, yeah? I’m really tired, I’m going to stay here for a while and rest. This is all over the place. I’m sorry.

Marin went back to Koholint. I don’t know if she’s alive there, but I’d like to hope she is. I’m sorry you two didn’t get to meet again. I’m apologizing a lot.

Have you been around? Our house looks the same as ever. I hope you did get to visit, at least for a little, in the time I’ve been gone.

I pray for your safety. I miss you, Link.

Yours,

Ravio

My dearest, Ravio,

I can’t put my relief into words. I’m still out, but nearing the end of this adventure. I can feel it coming to a close soon, and this one feels final. Maybe I’ll actually be able to retire.

I’ve missed you so much. I thought you were dead, or hurt, or Sheerow was dead or hurt, and I swear I couldn’t sleep for months. I’ll never let that damn bird out of our sights again. Please rest, Rav. I understand how you’re feeling right now. I’ll be home to help as soon as I can - you can’t recover from something like that alone.

Marin being alive or dead is more of a discussion if she is real or not real. I find that thinking over those kind of questions too much will only lead to feeling worse. It’s better to just accept that she’s gone. I’ll be there for you.

I’ve visited some, not as much as I wish I could. There’s never much time to relax, and our house feels wrong without you there.

Never apologize again, that’s a threat. I’m so glad you’re okay.

Yours,

Link

P.S. Did you think I wouldn’t notice you flirting with me? “My dearest, Link,”?

My dearest, Link,

Thank you. I’m harvesting apples from the orchard again, and I made pie for the first time in a while. Sheerow is carrying it over for you. 

It’s been hard, this past week, but I think I’ll be okay. I just need time to re-adjust. Don’t rush your adventure for me, okay? I’m glad you’ll be home soon, though.

I’m looking forward to see you again.

Yours,

Ravio

P.S. I can’t help but notice that you also placed a comma after “dearest”. Besides, aren’t we married?

My dearest, Ravio,

The portals have begun to place us in our own times, and we’re having our final goodbyes. You’ll be happy to hear that I’ll be home within a fortnight. I’m excited to see you again, finally. I love your pie; it’s amazing, as always.

I’ll see you soon.

Yours,

Link

P.S. We are married, and we’ve signed off as “yours” for over a year. Are you surprised that you’re my beloved?

My dearest, Link,

Hurry up and get home, you flirt. First you propose over letters, now you confess?

Yours,

Ravio

My Ravio,

I’m in Hyrule, three days out from home. Don’t you forget that you initiated everything. 

I can’t wait to see your face again. I love you.

Your husband,

Link

My Link,

I won’t bother to send you this letter, because I’ll tell you in person, but you can go ahead and find it on our counter when you arrive tomorrow.

You said “my Ravio” again, like you wrote on a note before our marriage. Don’t think you’re not as much to blame for this as I am.

I’m waiting for you, dear. I love you, too.

Your husband,

Ravio

[chronically-ill-psionipath]

OOC: I FINISHED READING THE BOOK IN ONE DAY 😀

SPOILERS FOR KOTLC 9.5

I am honestly so happy-

ALVAR- I SCREAMED I FUCKING SCREAMED WHEN I SAW HIS BEAUTIFUL 5 LETTER NAME WAS WRITTEN UPON THE PAPER. HE WAS THE PERSON IN THE COVER OMIGOD!!!

Honestly, he is so chill- HE WAS RANTING ABOUT MATCHMAKING AND OH MY GOD- WE MET TWO LGBTQ CHARACTERS??!!

THE RUNNER WITH HIS DOCTOR HUSBAND AND THE AUSTRALIAN WAITRESS WITH HER WIFE AND ALVAR MENTIONED IT TO KEEFE AND THEY ARE SO CHILL

I had to make sure I was reading the real book and not some good fanfic because I know we ship a lot of LGBTQ+, but haven’t met a canon, open one 🫡🥺

HOW ALVAR IS OBSESSED WITH PANCAKES AND PRAISED HUMANS FOR THEIR MEDICINE???

HE IS A FOODIE! HE LOVES FOOD??!! SAME ALVAR, SAME.

AHDSINDLAUDBAKUXHAJDBALISBX

AAAAANNNNDDDD the fact Keefe still trusted him and CASSIUS PAINTS?!! (People with no faces but HEY!)

I AM SO HAPPY. TBH- Alvar was the meme “can I get a waffle- can I please get a waffle??” When Keefe is dragging him around XD EXCEPT IT’S PANCAKES

MY DEFORMED HEART SOARED WHEN ALVAR MENTIONED RUY NEEDING ABILITY HEALING ♥️♥️

BUT- I am gonna be honest, as much as I LOVE Ravioli… does Alvar seem to hate Ruy?? Or dislike him?? Because when Keefe made the deal to heal his ability (which was gone), the first was not to tell a soul and Alvar remarked why would he ever tell etc. betrayed and all- Alvar PLEASE 🙏🙇 I PROMISE THAT RUY WON’T BETRAY YOU-

(Watch him drop kick Alvar in the next book/j)

THE PINK BUNNY- DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THE FIRST ART I MADE IN THIS ACC???????????? THE PINK BUNNY?! HC GUYS- HEAD CANNONS-

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 9.13.24: happy friday the 13th everybody

no this isn't two weeks overdue. i definitely did not have the world's most executive dysfunction about this and we definitely are not playing again Tomorrow. dont look at the date. dont

technically this is no longer doip. bc we have graduated from Dragon of Icespire Peak to Storm Lord's Wrath! but also doip. is iconic to me and slw doesn't have the same ring to it in a post title. snakes loving women

last time: Kepesk left the party to rejoin his old group, the Wilders, and the rest of the Skeleton Crew set out on a mission from Lord Neverember to head to the town of Leilon and help rebuild it! i spend the entirety of this session forgetting the second half of that sentence. this bodes well for me

today we're recording the session! and by we i mean nyx.

nyx: my computer go fast. leo: ..is that good? nyx: no.

(jorb wants a video record for archival reasons, im continuing notetaking bc its fun and more accessible for me than watching a ~2hr vod.)

oh nevermind, trying to record killed nyx on the spot. im recording now! i am also the only person that doesnt have spoilers on my character sheet apparently. jorb is doing a recap of the story so far! which is very appreciated because it has been several years. :,D

jorb: [..] big al calazorn-- leo: calzorne??? jorb: calazorn. leo: big al calzone vocaloid real??? jorb: no.

we're on the road to viridian ciiityyyyy there's a building at the triboar trail intersection! it's an inn / tavern. a tavinn, if you will. ah. people are trying to… break into the tavinn? something is Off about them. that's not good. theyve broken in! TIME FOR ALIDAAR TO SAVE THE DAY. oh shit, its zombies. good thing the skeleton crew is here!

dauble is curled up on alidaar like a scarf. perfect position to put him into a chokehold

im microwaving nyx.

arepo opens the fight with a spray of cards! and the half-elf lady in the tavinn is also good at dealing out damage. lets go! whoa. okay these guys might be capable on their own, actually. oh my god lmao. i was gonna say "nvm one of em has a nat1" but then it still hit. that owns. even random tavinn owners are ready to kick ass at any given moment

This Table Has A Hitpoint Bar

(there's a table being used as a barricade and the zombies are trying to break it down. jorb looked up how exactly that works and discovered that the table has a silly amount of hp. and then nyx asked him to put a hp bar on the table.)

jorb: are you happy?! nyx: i am. i am happy.

alidaar backhands a zombie to death.

(im screwing around in combat more and that includes doing things like "figuring out how to use unarmed strikes" and "getting silly with it". alidaar did, quite literally, backhand a zombie to kill it)

oh fuck theres wraiths too. thats not good. arepo gets so startled he vicious mockery's a wraith lmao OH THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. BADLY. WRAITHS SCARY :0 dauble has channel divinity + turn undead! dauble blasts everything with their fucking Aura

Alidaar Is So Fucking Annoyed these zombies do Not like staying down. alidaar does a cool slide under a table about it and climbs up on top to breath weapon! it does not achieve much. i hate it here i need to stop punching things bc then i lose track of my attacks. bc i have mainhand-offhand-mainhand and i got pretty used to the rhythm of it. but also im trying to vary up how i approach combat bc otherwise i feel like im doing the same thing over and over One Of The Wraiths Has Fucking Left

dauble and doorc are just chilling here. wait nevermind doorc is on the move. wait nevermind doorc is still just chilling hes just chilling somewhere else

(one of the npcs is an orc guarding the door. he is now forever the doorc to me.)

THIS FUCKING WRAITH IS 240 FEET AWAY FROM THE INN. ITS JUST GOING. IT CAN GO THROUGH WALLS. ITS STEALING RAVIOLI OOPS ALIDAAR'S MAX HP WENT DOWN. 59 -> 36! haha im in danger

nyx: how many times can i embarrass this wraith before it just gives up?

RED WRAITH DOWN! …blue wraith still on the loose. um. hm Ol' Pisspants Wraithy Will Come Back Eventually [dauble voice] Ol' Pisspants Wraithy ol' pisspants wraithy is fucking pissed

jorb: dauble, you're up! (leo: dauble!) nyx: im using turn undead. leo: NO,

dauble has used turn undead again. alidaar stares at dauble. crosses his arms. does nothing. arepo checks his pocketwatch. we wait Another Two Minutes for turn undead to wear off and this fucker to come back DAUBLE IS GETTING FUCKING OWNED dauble is down for the count! DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT alidaar does a sick flip, shoots the wraith with his crossbow, and then while arepo is getting ready to attack i remember i can still attack twice with this awful thing and miss. fantastic

doorc is the most competent person in this entire encounter.

dauble is rolling well on death saves at least :,D

nyx: [deadpan] you can tell by the joy in my voice. jason: you sound ecstatic. nyx: i am.

ALIDAAR IS SICK OF THIS WRAITH'S SHIT. IT IS NOW CONFETTI. GOODBYE

jorb: you know how trunks kills frieza? leo: yeah.

jorb: so dauble is dying,

alidaar pours a potion of healing on dauble. please do not cease to be dauble is okay! hooray! also we've saved martisha, teegar, and coorag. teegar and coorag are married and i mixed up who is who and thought there was lesbians. there isnt. sad. alidaar is carrying dauble around like a cat. he is Very unhappy that dauble ate shit and is bad at displaying it so there's a lot of Wiggling Dauble to make sure theyre ok hooray, we're heroes! somebody is paying for our lodging and teegar's paying for our drinks :D

arepo has ordered a diet dr pepper.

jorb: she gets you a nice frothy mug of diet dr. pepper.

arepo is socializing while i catch up on note-taking bc i was busy driving the bus diet dr pepper is the famous local brew. its a peppery version of diet doctor coorag has a trident necklace! arepo recognizes it as a symbol for water stuff. i have immediately forgotten jorb's phrasing. something something not faith just lifestyle we are two hexagons away from the ocean.

alidaar is making friends! and eating pork pie. and also shoving dauble's face into pork pie. DURNALD DEEPCRUST. LMFAO

(that's the name of the cook. he's a dwarf. also the return of the "cryovain is alidaar's dad" joke happened so alidaar (lovingly) bullied dauble over it)

alidaar is a wuss when it comes to spicy so he ends up having to use bardic inspiration and a tiny bit of frost breath to survive this pork pie. this is hilarious alidaar has unlocked a tastebud. just one. OH MY GOD MY MEMORY IS STRUGGLING SO BAD. hi. we're going to a place i forgot how to spell to help with repairs. one of the people alidaar's befriended, silla, is heading there to try and do fishing stuff and get a job. also she plays the harmonica :3 alidaar has successfully played the flute! and one of the other patrons is singing along about defending the inn and then getting owned by the spicy pies. this is adorable

dauble is taking everything so normally.

dauble: can we get the 3 bed rooms? alidaar: yeah sure :3 alidaar: [lies down] dauble: [gets in alidaar's bed] alidaar:

ah. hm. dauble has sneaked off to do something while alidaar and arepo are sleeping. that's.. fine. the third bed is for twigbias. dauble is tucking the terrarium in.

aaaand that's the session! \o/

(these are way more disorganized than usual. hoo boy. juggling "being the guy that initiates interactions", "making sure the recording functions properly", and "taking notes" means that some stuff got a bit unbalanced. this is still more thorough notes than i took for the first session of doip at least lmao)

[finniestoncrane]

Hello good day! I heard the food in this restaurant is really fucking good so I thought about ordering, I hope I didn’t call the wrong number that would be embarrassing.

Anyway I would like a delivery, I like eating at home you see, I’d like some water and pumpkin ravioli with some pizza bites, breadsticks, soup and some guacamole cause I haven’t eaten in forever my fridge is empty

Thank you so very very much!!! (CONGRATS ON 1.5K FOLLOWERS FINNIE WOOOOO!!!! YOU DESERVE THEM, YOU’RE AWESOME AMAZING TALENTED I LOVE YOU!!!)

btaa!scarecrow x gn!reader, word count: 350 content (warnings): needy jon, demanding behaviour, apologies the kitchen is now closed! 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block) a/n: thank you gus gus ily!! ;-; i hope you don't mind i picked btaa for this one!! 💚

it's only by a divine miracle that jonathan crane isn't hurt as often as he is

because when he's wounded, minimally or otherwise

it becomes everyone's problem, especially yours since your duty as so happens to be personal nurse

gone is the confidence and seemingly unfaltering facade of big, bad, terrifying jon

suddenly he's a miserable, whining mess, pouting and huffing when he isn't brought his soup quickly enough

whimpering when you try to patch up any cuts, tearing up if you happen to put pressure on a bruise or a tender spot

he's a bit pathetic actually, but in the same way that a stray kitten caught in the rain is

it's impossible not to fall to your knees in front of him and tend to his every demand

and he will demand. a lot.

his mood is foul if he's ever caught in a position where he's on bed rest

because even though he might exaggerate his symptoms in a bid to get further sympathy and to make it seem like the odds were really stacked against him

he hates being stuck in one place, not able to conduct his business

so expect plenty of arguments, plenty of horrid comments thrown at you, for his mood to change within seconds for seemingly no reason

but he'll always apologise for it, profusely, and excessively almost

strategically placed soft kisses in the places that make you giggle most, your neck, your palm, your wrist, your collar bones

compliments you wouldn't hear him utter otherwise, genuine ones that expose his feelings for you and therefore his vulnerabilities

tender moments that remind you, and him, that he needs you

"please don't leave" as you threaten to go and get him a fresh cup of water

"i don't hurt too much" when he's trying to get you to join him under the covers

"i think a kiss would help" when he knows he's on the mend, but needs a bit more mollycoddling before he can get back to his gruesome self

[hestusjamsession]

I’m currently farming light dragon parts (sorry Zelda) and decided to do a follow up to my last post while I wait.

This list is all Linked Universe baby. Once again, if you know the blogs of some of these authors I’d appreciate it if you could tag them.

1. Linked Universe Age Swap AU by LazuliQuetzal

Let’s kick this off with a bang. This is a series of one shots centered around the Chain being alternate ages. We got Old Man Hyrule. We got Angsty Teen Time. We got Wolfkin Wild. It’s great. Check it out.

2. Dawn of the Fourth by LazuliQuetzal

By the same author, Dawn of the Fourth is one of those fics that I don’t think I’ll be able to do justice, so here’s a snippet:

Wild reached out and brushed a finger across the body’s cheek. Then he licked his finger. “Eleven,” he decided, smacking his lips.

“Hey, what the fuck.”

“Dirt tastes different depending on age—”

“No, don’t explain it! Why are you like this, I hate you so much—“

3. The Man and the Pup by Bubbly_Kandy

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Hyrule, there were eight boys and a man all trying to exist in a world that doesn’t want them.

This one has some serious fairy tale vibes which I love. It’s also kind of dark at times. It’s not finished but maybe if I point enough people towards it the author will pick it up again. Who knows? One can dream.

4. Deserving by @a-little-bit-of-ravioli

When Colin overhears part of a conversation between his father and his adopted big brother, he decides it’s up to him and his friends to protect Link from those wishing to do him harm.

5. Malevolence by @thescrapwitch

Wolfie eats something he shouldn’t and things go downhill from there. Secrets are revealed, friendships are tested, and Ganon is a jerk.

This fic is a masterclass in tension. If you need some heavy angst with a happy ending, this is your fic.

The one shot Wolf Heart by the same author is also very good.

6. Our Nightly Confident by Wisetypewriter

Alternative titles are “Wolfie is the Best Boy” and “Men Will Literally Talk to a Wolf Before Going to Therapy.”

This was one of the first LU fics I read and it’s so sweet. If you’ve liked Lupis Vigilans (coming up) you’ll really like Our Nightly Confident.

7. The Fierce Dadity Series by @skyloftian-nutcase

A series focusing on everyone’s favorite Mask-bound God/Spirit just trying to take care of his favorite mortal.

There’s a lot of fics by Skye that I love and it’s hard to narrow it down. But Fierce Dadity is up there.

8. Brethren in a Cradle by @skyward-floored

After coming across a village raised to the ground, the Chain finds its sole survivor: a baby boy. They quickly learn that there is more to this child than meets the eye.

The “Baby Joins the Chain AU”. Also I always get Skyward_floored and Skyloftian-nutcase mixed up and I would like to make a formal apology.

9. Where Your Meant to Be by @adrift-in-thyme

Malon has lived her entire life in her tower, never seeing the outside world. When a former-hero-turned-thief climbs through her window, her life takes a whole new turn.

The Tangled AU I didn’t know I wanted until I read it.

10. Lupus Vigilans by @pluviatrix

A character study of each of the Chain told from the point of view of Twilight, Hillbilly in Resident.

Wholesome and hilarious and heartbreaking in equal measure, I can’t recommend this fic enough. Also, I’m from the Ozarks and it’s cool to see that accent represented in the wild.

Their other fic, And Still The Cradle Blossoms is also really good if you’re like me and need a good cry at three in the morning.

11. Down by @musashi

When the Chain gets hit by a horrible illness, it’s up to Sky to take care of eight stubborn heroes. Each chapter is focused on a different member, and Twilight’s chapter in particular hit me in the feels.

I love sickfics for some reason and this one is so good.

12. Colors by HylianHarmony

A Four centric fic where he reveals the Colors to the rest of the Chain. Also he has a mind palace which is pretty neat.

This fic isn’t finished but it’s too good not to recommend.

13. Alone Together by Blueskullcandy

Another Four centric fic but told from the point of view of different members of the chain (including Four). The Twilight chapter in particular is worth the read by itself.

This fic is also not finished but I still recommend it. It’s really good.

14. Brothers Becoming by @turtleduckscribbles

After a fight with Twilight, Legend is forced to face his fears and insecurities and confront the one person he wants to avoid at all cost.

Prickly Legend learns to let others in.

15. Not Like You by HylianHarmony

Wind deals with serious imposter syndrome, but the others don’t realize it until it’s almost too late.

This is one of my comfort fics y’all. When I’m down I’ll read it and it always manages to cheer me up. I can’t recommend this one enough.

[creoterative]

Uhm... I made another one.

Yeeesss, I know, my finals for this semester are coming up, but leave me some freetime xD

Anyway, my best friend sent me another bunch of funny things kids in kindergarten said and I made another TWDG kids template out of it.

So there.

Enjoy! Xd

PS: I had to rewrite some of them because she gave those to me in german and they wouldn't make sense in english, so... excuse the Florida comment xD

Minnie: "I have a unicorn at home! But I ripped out the horn, so it's a not-so-much-corn now."

Sophie: "I always read books at home, my favorite book is Justin Bieber!"

Louis: "My parents have a swing in their bedroom, it must be so much fun, but I'm never allowed to play with it." (...That was disturbing, send help to the poor boy.)

Duck: *talking about future jobs* "I wanna be a whale!"

Ruby: "Yes, I love Spargel! Oh, what's that?" (It was at this moment, that the little girl learned, Spaghetti and Spargel aren't the same. And for my english friends, Spargel is Asparagus.)

Clementine: "Mommy had a baby yesterday! But it is a little bit ugly."

Marlon: *to the new young woman working there* "My dad said everyone needs a job when they grow up. Why don't you have one?"

Mitch: "Remember when you said that I'm not allowed to play with the water in the sink anymore? *soaked from head to toe* "Because I don't."

Louis: "I don't like cucumbers that grow." ( what .)

Willy: "Did you know, that eggs break apart when you throw them? By the way, where is the cleaning set?"

Brody: "You can't play with us, you don't like coffee!" Violet: "But you never drank coffee either!" Brody: "But I like it, because momma likes it!"

Tenn: "You're my kokong." (He meant Cousin.)

Marlon: "I want my reflection to be alive as well, I want to play with it. That's so unfair!" (He didn't understand the concept of twins yet.)

Violet: "I'd eat that very gladly. I just don't want to."

Willy: *after being asked to help clean up the mess* "No thank you, I like it better this way."

Marlon: "Your pants are ugly." Mitch: "You're wearing the same." (And then Marlon threw a tantrum because he felt insulted.)

Aasim: "I have a bunny at home. But sometimes it changes colour." (Again, Aasim are you okay?)

Louis: "My goldfish went to Atlantis today!" (It died.)

Marlon: "My uncle has no eyes, so he got a dog with eyes. I don't want my eyes either, I want a puppy!"

Clementine: "How long does a strawberry tree grow?"

Mitch: "If bears gotta go for little boys, they pee in their fur."

Louis: "I'm there in a second. Geez, I hate it when people say that, what KIND of second, a long or a short one?!"

Violet: "Tastes ugly."

Ruby: "You need to go home, you have 124 meters fever!"

Sophie: "If you destroy my picture, I'll get world destruction!"

Aasim: "I have to computer now."

Louis: "My tummy feels yucky, can you call my mother in law?"

Marlon: "What do you have there?" Louis: "A cough drop!" Marlon: "Woah, I want a tough drop too!"

Ruby: "I lost my fuck in the sandbox, momma!" (She was talking about her toy truck.)

Minnie: "My mom has circus disturbance." (She meant circular disturbance.)

Omar: "Today I have fish sticks with potato pudding!"

Brody: "Look, I'm a mermaid! Now I only need a fork!"

Marlon: "Why is that man shaving the lawn?"

Louis: "But I already ate all my cousins!" (It's raisins, Louis.)

Ruby: "My grandma is in the animal shelter because she can't walk anymore." (Her grandma went into retirement.)

Willy: "My grandpa is magnetic too!" (His grandpa had a prosthetic leg.)

Duck: "My dad is special too, he's from Florida!"

Mitch: "I want more pregnant stamps." Ms. Martin: "...What?" Mitch: "I'm still hungry." Ms. Martin: "Ah, yes, you can have more ravioli."

Duck: "Can I have more weed?" (He meant arugola.)

Sophie: "I only got one motivation left for cleaning up, so I'll hurry."

Louis: "I got a bikini!" (It's a kiwi, Louis.)

Marlon: "Does the CD player google the songs first or why is it taking so long?"

Clementine: "My baba brought me today." Duck: "Huh? I thought you could only eat them?" (...He thought she meant a banana.)

[mestruazioni]

the other day I was about to have an anxiety attack in the middle of the supermarket. I saw frozen ravioli that said on the package "they cook faster than before!" and I thought. my god. why does everything need to be fast and now. ravioli don't normally take long to cook. what do you mean they even cook faster now. why am I rushing this. why can't I enjoy the time I'm waiting for my good ravioli to cook to speak to those in the kitchen with me, watch a video, read, play with the cat. why can't they slow cook. why are we rushing ravioli and why are we rushing our lives. how did "they" actually convince us that we need to do as much as possible all the time and as fast as possible otherwise we're worthless. I want nonna's ragù that takes 3 hours to cook. I want slow things made with love, or at least a severe hate for all the complicated steps a recipe takes. I don't want mediocre, fast, emotionless food that I will eat just because otherwise I won't be satiated. I don't want to live at a desk or at a computer or at a phone doing work work work production while I eat fast cooking food between a mail and an assignment cuz the world decided I can eat shit if it means I'll spend more time working. and I'm saying work and not doing stuff I love because all the stuff I love I can do in the 8 fucking minutes it takes for lovely ravioli to be cooked. and we all know they dont make fast ravioli so i can spend more time making art. why do I need 3 minutes ravioli.

[the-lost-beast]

About: Chapter 5

I'll tag this as trivia. I like to give out peaks of what's happening behind the scenes 👀

🍃 Chapter 5 is titled after that famous quote from Catcher in the Rye. I hate Holden Caufield so really this could be ironic. But I thought the parallel between that song and the fact they literally crash into each other was funny

Characterisation: Bel and Rev 🍁

i WILL be posting a cast intro, once I'm actually done drawing the cast haha :'D Meanwhile, know that I mainly use the enneagram to craft my characters and that Revali is a 3 and Bellam is a 1. Typically 1 enneagrams 1 will be super demanding of others but also themselves. So that tells you where Ravioli got his self-exigence from. 1s also can't stand being criticised, which is why as soon as Kíran criticises Bellam, he goes 💥

3s hate being ignored, which I stated pretty explicitly in the narratives. Bellam says "I don't have time for this" and that's what triggers Revali into being mean. That + the fact he's being blatantly dismissed by Bellam when Kíran walks in. I love the "you're not my parent!" trope and will NOT apologise for it. Drama 😯

Zelda and Link 🌼

These two obviously have issues™, in case you hadn't noticed. I'm using that line from Zelda's diary that says what troubles her about him is that she can never know what he's thinking. I think it works pretty much the same with Revali. Both her and Revali feel judged or looked down at by Link because he doesn't communicate, and their self-esteem will automatically imagine he has the worst opinion of them both. Miscommunication, I love you.

Zelda and Rev 🍂

They're the fucking same in reality. And I know it's not obvious but really they are. Both have an exigeant parent in their lives, though, let me spoil you right there, Bellam is actually trying while the King is just a piece of SHIT, and both have low self confidence. In my own experience, finding someone who mirrors what you don't like about yourself will NOT make you comfortable around that person. So Revali thinks Zelda, in all her royal sufficiency, has little esteem for him as a Champion, while Zelda thinks Revali sees right through her efforts that she really is useless in this fight against the Calamity.