#FUCK EM IM SO HOT AND BOTHERED ITS NOT FAIR

[selfshippinglover]

Looking at pictures of demon Alastor got me acting UP

(Horny in the tags so ignore just needed to scream lol)

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Ground Rules

Geralt lays down the law with the help of yennefer after catching the reader haveing a bit of me time in the bath.

Masterlist

Ok this took all day as i couldnt stop tweaking it and i got to the point iv just got to step back and throw it out there or im gonna scream.Any way this is to go along with pastry negotiations its based after that one so could be considered part two? can be read stand alone tho in all honesty these modern reader inserts are gonna jump about in timeline cos my plot bunnys are twats. Im basing my Ciri on a mix of mature netflix Ciri and slightly mischievous witcher 3 Ciri. Any way i hope you enjoy this one im pretty pleased with it xx 

WARNING: Adult Themes, Smut, DubCon Swearing MxFxF 18+

Dont like it dont read it.

Geralt snaps when you take matters into your own hands.

The Ground Rules

"Well someone is excited" Jaskier drolled as he watched your form slowly creating distance between you as you marched ahead.

As the small rickety town came into veiw you cried out a victorious and dramatic "still alive" causing eye rolls and chuckles in the group. Honestly this was the first real town you'd come to since being here and you were thrilled. Sure you'd passed a tiny smattering of houses four or so days ago where you'd traded for some bread, tiny amount of dried meat and a few other essentials oh! and yenn had managed to replace your pastry to the amusment of the resident witcher. They'd both been more open with you since the whole pastry incident-which you thought was an off handed comment on yennefers part but she and geralt had since indicated otherwise.

The people in the village had mentioned of a near by town that was rumoured to have a contract out on a nest of some monster thingamajigs that you hadn't botherd to remeber the name of .You looked down the verge towards the town with immediate thoughts of eat, bathe and sleep- on a bed, a real fucking bed ,ok so it wont be a temper mattress but you could live with that-oh my fucking god hot water,a nice loooong soak you moaned in your throat the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. You walked ahead trying to usher the group.

And maybe you could have your own room. Honestly sharing a bed with the couple was becoming an issue for you,your crush on them was definatly getting out of control now constantly blushing under their heated glances and they are becoming more touchy feely, Hands lingering longer than nesscasary or leaning in so close so thier breath tickled the hairs on your neck basically doing anything to get you flustered and you swear to god yesterday yennefer copped a feel whilst helping you threw a small steam which you didn't need help with;not that she listened. Bottom line you were becoming sexualy frustrated pretty much staying in a constant state of arousal a night away from them to take care of business would be very much appreciated. 

"Come ooooonnnn guys keep up" you turned looking back at them drawing out your whine befor resuming towards the town

"Someone should catch up with her she looks like a girl on a mission" Yennefer commented 

"Yes. Ciri would you keep her near the main gate and out of trouble while we settle roach in the stables ,here take her this she should cover up befor anyone gets any ideas" geralt grunted as your form began to dissapear down the brow of the hill ,ciri looked between the two before shrugging grabbing his offered cloak then ran to catch up with you.

You glanced to the side as you heard footsteps noticing Ciri fall in step with you she held out his cloak.

"Here geralt said to cover up before people get any ideas" you sighed it wasnt your fault his shirt hung off of you showing a large amount of shoulder and chest luckily when the hoover portal of doom sucked you in you were in fleece lined black leggings that had been durable enough to survive the last 3 weeks on the road(your stitch t shirt hadn't survived your initial fall) because you doubt he'd have anything your hips would get in to. Rolling your eyes you pulled the heavy fabric across your shoulders repostioning it so that it wasnt draging on the floor to much but was still sheilding your body. 

"He's such a dad" Ciri giggled nodding in agreement befor reciting what esle geralt had requested ordered. You scoffed shaking your head

"So he doesnt even trust me to walk through a town, he does realise im an adult right? That i can do things with out causing trouble. i mean for god sake im not jaskier" she snorted 

"I think its more like he doesnt want other men trying to sleep with you" you did a double take 

"The hell you know about that sort of shit? has Jaskier been corrupting you?"

 A knowing smirk crossed her face as she held her hands up coming to a halt facing you just inside the wooden gates of the town.

"You think i havent noticed whats going on by myself, Geralt likes you so does yenn jaskiers noticed to, think he's going to write a song" 

"He better bloody not and anyway maybe i want to find a companion for the night." You announced tersely crossing your arms only to freeze as you heard a growl from behind you.

"Oh yes, i may have forgot to mention that witchers are senses are really sensetive" she smiled sweetly, you gaped why were you only being told this now. Looking between her and the others approaching.

"Wh-what how the fuck you leave that out? d-do you think he heard us? from back there" She nodded 

"Most definitely" you gulped feeling yourself shrink into Geralts cloak a little at the looks you received from Geralt and Yennefer as he spoke to her telling her what youd just said.oh fuck.

"when you say senses you mean all of 'em? Not just one or two?" hoping beyond hope that something had been lost in translation.

"Nope all of them sight, smell, hearing the whole lot" she replied watching the colour drain from your horror sticken face. You'd been getting wet over the past few days. And the realisation that he probably knew embarrassed the shit out of you. Geralt smirked obviously he heard.You were so fucked.he knew and if he knew then she knew.oh my god. You were sooo fucked.'whelp there goes my dignity' you thought. He strode past you to the mediocre stables with roach in toe ready to hitch her for the night.Jaskier and yenn followed pulling some of the bags off of the horse then passing them out to their respective owners. Geralt then stood before you all giving you all the 'game plan' as you call it.

"we will find an inn and eat after that you get settled in for the night whist i see about this contract."

"don't bother about me tonight im going to catch myself a young fair maiden for the night" you scoffed at Jaskier's announcement drawing his attention

"Sounding like a creeper there Jask, what? you gonna do throw a net in the tavern? don't think they'd take to kindly to that" he huffed through his nose aggravated. 

"No im going to sing in the tavern and lure a beauty to my side for the night" you played along widening your eyes in false realization

"oohh so your gonna go pay for it, how does it work exactly is it by hour or-" Geralt quickly intervened covering your mouth one to stop the inevitable spat and two before you could corrupt Ciri any further Jaskier deadpanned giving you a flat look.

"you're welcome to come find out for yourself im sure your just Itching  to get some relief-"

"JASKIER! you go ahead at least try to keep a bit of coin back this time" Jaskier 1 Y/n 0.

You glowered behind Geralt's hand as he dismissed the smirking bard who turned on his heel prancing off quite pleased with himself. You smacked Geralt's hand away wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before slowly making your way down the street into town.It had taken nearly half an hour to find a decent inn that had room for the four of you. A room with two double beds that had a heavy curtain to split the room into two it was usually rented by traveling families. You groaned as you walked in, now you really couldn't take care of business, you followed Ciri as she placed her bag on the bed on the left following suit you placed yours on the other half of it only to have Yennefer quickly relocated it to her side of the other bed. Ciri snorted giving you a knowing look.you sighed then stomped across the room. Knowing all to well that it was futile to argue with the sorceress ,the witcher was stubborn but she was something else. Geralt handed a small pouch of coin to Yennefer.

"This is for the new clothes Ciri needs a thicker cloak preferably fur lined maybe new boots to not sure how long those will last in the mountains." yennefer hummed as she pocketed the money. 

"And the clothes for Y/n as well?" 

"Yes, should be enough there for what we discussed if not i'v got a bit more saved" you raised your brows blinking at them.

"err what was discussed? guys? what did you talk about? was it about me? helloooo" you waved as they ignored you.Yennefer pulled off her cloak leaving it on her side of the bed. you and Ciri followed their lead only for Geralt the tug yours back across you giving a sharp look as you rolled your eyes.The group made its way down into the quiet main room of the family run inn where you were served a meal of roast beef with vegetable trimmings ,before you knew it Geralt had left to find out about the contract with a final 'Behave' thrown in your direction.To which you grunted in response,too full to even tell him to 'jog on' - a phrase that still frustrated the witcher as he didn't know the meaning-. Yennefer had asked for a bath before your meal which you were just informed was ready leaving you alone with the sorceress. You had all decided Ciri would have the bath first then you, yennefer and finally geralt if he was back before it got cold.

"I cant breath" yennefer laughed out loud you rubbed your tummy closing your eyes

"I mean honestly, I think theres food in my lungs" groaning leaning back against the chair she gave a sympathetic smile

"Well you did inhale your food, maybe next time take it easy."

"Can you blame me, been the first meat iv recognized since i got here" It was true so far you'd been living on meats that you wouldn't have necessarily chose to eat back home rabbit,mutton venison ect.

"After we've bathed we will rest for the day but tomorrow we have to run over to the seamstress and get your new clothes, not sure how long we will be here and might have to order some or have them taken up,you are a little thing.Might have to have some leather work done too." you squinted pointing an accusing finger at her

"You calling me a midget? we going for shots now are we?" she smiled sheepishly

"No .no shots?. i just meant your petite don't worry its very cute. Anyway we are only picking up the basics a few day dresses ,Riding clothes boots that sort of thing" you blinked owlishly flushing as she called you cute. 

"Riding clothes yes. Dresses no thank you" she stared unblinking at you for a few moments making you squirm at the calm expectant gaze that was getting heavier by the second, it was like the eyes of a mother when you'd been caught doing some dumb shit you knew you shouldn't be doing.

"Stop it....Yenn no... cant i just get something like Geralt has..please... i'd be much more comfortable...even Jaskier i mean im not one for the puffy bits but 'd make do....."

she blinked slowly

"Oh fine but only one or two no more and your not getting rid of these leggings either" you gave in, her gaze was to unnerving and it did things to you. Her face lit up. She was looking forward to seeing you in feminine gown instead of a her and Geralt's shirts not that she minded but it'd be a nice change to your strange stetchy leggings (not that she minded you in the form fitting bottoms) She moved leaning in to your side hand on your thigh patting it lightly.

"Thank you, don't be so worried i will take good care of everything" you gulped as you felt the flushed skin of your face grow hotter,your core clenching and warming at her sultry reply you closed your eyes trying to regain a bit of control. Suddenly her attention was drawn to a pink skinned Ciri who had finished her bath and changed Yenn nodded and released your thigh. You bolted upstairs hearing a chuckle as you did.

Once in the room you sighed in relief, making your way towards the screened off section that held a large oval tub full of steaming water. Discarding your clothes as you all but melted into the hot water.You submerged yourself getting your hair wet scratching tentatively at your scalp that had begun to ache under the grime. Spotting a small stool with what you'd consider toiletries, a bar of hard sweet smelling soap and a few vials.You grabbed the soap, opting for using it for your hair as well unsure what vials did what and went where.After scrubbing all the built up sweat and dirt you you closed your eyes lounging back against the slanted end tub you relaxed a few moments it wasn't long before you were feeling much better ,tired muscles succumbing to the soothing hot water.your body hummed. 'no one would have to know' as your summarized that this was the perfect opportunity to relieve yourself of other tensions, 

'its not like geralt could smell you under water, i mean i dont think dogs can thats why criminals cross rivers when their being hunted on tv isn't it?' biting your lip you peaked an eye open and listened out carefully feeling naughty when you began moving your hand to the apex of your thighs gasping as your finger ghosted over your hardened bundle of nerves .Fuck. Your clit was sensitive not surprising when Geralt and Yennefer had practically edged you for nearly a week. You whined quietly as you began a fast rhythm on your clit ,other hand slinking down to your opening rubbing your fingers up and down the warm weeping hole. You bit off a groan as your hips gyrated against your roaming hands. Stomach tensing as you drove yourself faster and faster to the edge.Almost there.Fuck almost-you jumped hissing 'shit' ,ripping your hands away from yourself , sitting up fast enough to make your head spin splashing a wave of water over the floor when you heard the door open slamming the wall beside it.

"err theres some one in here!" you called out loudly, angry at who ever just interrupted you.You got nervous as the heavy steps quickly made their way towards you.Realizing who ever it was didn't care for your modesty as they were coming your way you slung your top half out of the tub to grasp the towel screaming because before you could grasp it and cover yourself a large calloused hand enveloped your shoulder shoving you back into the water.

"WH-GERALT THE FUCK? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME." you shouted at him as he released you then you looked down slapping your hands down to cover your self as he raised his eyebrows and gave a lop sided grin.He defiantly looked like the big bad wolf in that moment eyes ablaze with a hunger you wasn't sure you wanted to explore or not. Collecting yourself swallowing dryly before scolding him in a voice that seemed to become smaller with each word.

"hey! get the fuck out im trying to bathe you prick" you heard the door open and close again in a less violent fashion. And suprize suprize yennefer glided into view behind the .

"Thats not all you were doing tho was it? i can fucking smell you" was growled at you as geralt wet his lips you squeaked. 

"huh? b-but.. i thought..w-water" you stuttered out as your brain malfunctioned on on an epic scale. Yennefer gave out a loud laugh.

"so thats why he tore threw the inn like that.honestly Geralt i thought something was wrong" she continued laughing as she replayed the way geralt had all but vaulted the tables to get to the stairs. you pouted throughly humiliated

"something is wrong" he ground out before kneeling beside you .Shifting you tired to create some distance from him. He was having none of that wasting no time thrusting his hands into the water tugging away your shielding hand the other forcing its way between your legs. You slammed back against the tub gasping trying to get away. All you'd achieved was his hand pinning your hips to the back of the bath by your pussy

"GERALT WHA-"  

"Lets lay down some ground rules" He squeezed your throbbing heat in his hand curling his fingers dangerously close to your opening you bucked moaning breathlessly .Your eyes searched Yennefer's for help but she wore a similar hungry look that he had. Another slow squeeze brought your attention back to the brooding alpha male in the room.

"This is ours.ours to lick,suck and fuck as we see fit, to do what we please with and is off limits to your wandering little hands we clear on that?" You groaned out as he emphasized certain words with teasing brushes of fingers and a slow rub of his palm. Realizing that he might actually be serious.You nodded quickly babbling as he rocked his hand back and forth igniting the heat that you had built alone.

"C-crystal-please Geralt PLease" You threw your head back as his hand moved deliberate and teasing.

"You think you deserve it? after being caught up here playing with yourself?" You nodded then shook your head confused, unable to really concentrate on anything apart from his magnificent hand ,half lidded eyes and clenching your fingers tight around the thumb he was using it to control your movements as your body whithered under his ministrations.

"Really?" He said smirking as he held completely still you sucked through your teeth biting back curses.He chuckled smug bastard. moving trying to get some friction to no avail.

"Well we have been teasing the poor thing ,of course shes going to try sorting herself out the first chance she gets .Honestly Geralt what did you expect? i did tell you" yennefer reasoned as she stood behind you combing threw your wet hair you before grasping your free hand pulling it up out of the way kissing your palm before ghosting her nose down your neck pressing soft kisses along it you mewled at her and tried to coax geralt to continue again by rolling your hips.

"I suppose we could let her off this time" His voice was pure sex as he glanced down before giving into pushing two thick fingers up into you. his breach of your walls had an initial sting but was incredible as your needy walls tried sucking him deeper greedy to be filled.

"oh-oh fuck Ger-please" you arched your back pushing down onto his hand clutching onto Yennefer's wrist. you were so hot .fuck.he was gonna make you cum too quick. You panted throwing your head side to side as your legs tensed then raised up towards your torso, your pussy wrapped tight around Geralts fingers as he held them deep every few thrusts making you feel just how your walls rippled around him. he alternated between fast and shallow then slow and deep trying to build you up slowly he wasn't going to rush you, he was skilled enough to walk you up to the edge and throw you off whenever he damn well pleased. You'd never been this desperate in your life . Yenn's cool fingers delicately teased out your nipples pinching and flicking them until they stood out provocatively. You rocked against the both of them as Geralt made sure to start dragging your clit up and down with his palm as he finger fucked you curling his fingers searching for that small spot that'd send your mind reeling. Yenn had leaned down kissing your cheek and begun whispering lowly into your ear.

"He knows what he's doing doesn't he?Iit wont take him long to find every single spot you have, thats the thing with bedding a witcher they are much more observant then regular men. I have no doubt he will know when your going to orgasm before you do.He has the ability to force them out of nowhere when ever he pleases.. He is quite cruel like that" you moaned out loud snapping your head back high pitched and vulgar sounds tore from your throat as Geralts invading fingers began rubbing furiously back and forth on a soft spot inside of you.Unable to control yourself as your legs and tummy spasmed erratically as your tearfull moans and pleas filled the room

"Thats it oh i think iv found it~" he boasted as he moved his elbow pinning a knee to the side of the tub leaving your clit cruelly exposed for Yennefer,they shared a look as she moved her hand down to join Geralts taking over to rub small firm circles on your exposed clit.

"oh-OH fuck noNOno i cant please i ca-UGh to-Too much please FUCK" Yennefer was quick to swallow your moans in a kiss of clashing teeth and tongues before any one could hear ,tears streamed down your face as your body ached your pussy contracting painfully around his swiping digits. Pulling back for air the sorceress placed open mouthed kisses over your shoulders leaving red marks with her teeth and sucking bites.

"Good girl your being sooo good you don't have to ask this time" she praised as she reached your ear befor sucking harshly below your jaw. you were quickly becoming putty in their hands Geralt growled as he picked up the begining tremors of your orgasm.

"Look at me" you obeyed instantly moaning as you watched the white wolf pull his lip up in a snarl that would have scared you any other time.

"This is what you were made for, your ours, we own you, mind body and soul we own every whimper ,every tear ,every orgasm and hole they are ours for the taking when ever we choose,from now only ecstasy you will know is what we give you" You'd never have guessed how filthy his mouth could be but it seemed to have the desired effect as a sudden rush of heat was your only warning before rearing up screaming out, not sure if you'd shut your eyes or blacked out for a moment as you gushed into the bath water.Geralt pressed into you persistent while Yennefer's hand continued the tight circles efficiently drawing out the best orgasm your ever had.Finally their movements ceased and your body went limp wracked trembling in the aftermath as your orgasm ebbed away slowly. After giving you a few moments to come down and catch your breath Geralt removed his fingers you whimpered inside's still so sensitive after your orgasm, sucking on them he moaned deep and feral before plucking your clenched fingers off his thumb. Yennefer quickly wiped your pussy gently clearing the cum from between your swollen lips. Making you twitched as the cloth ran over you.Pulling you from the bath was a joint effort as they rested you on the bed and began patting you dry with the towel.Moaning in protest as your arms waved loosely trying to take over only having your hand smacked away as they finished.Lying back looking up at them bleary eyed trying to stay awake you felt like jelly, giving up fighting you rolled over yawning tucking your arms below your head Yennefer tilted her head stroking your hair sending you into a relaxed sleep.

"Poor dear ,Oh look at her geralt shes all fucked out and we haven't even fucked her yet" 

"hmm she'll be ok we just need to work on her stamina" he replied patting your bottom as he pulled the cover over your washed out form.Geralt panicked

"Shit wheres Ciri?"

"well when you came charging in down stairs i told her to go find Jaskier and stay there until one of us came to get her" Yennefer said with a sly grin he shook his head and scooped her up kissing her passionately. As he took a few steps to the now vacant bath

"well the bath is still warm care to join me?"

"with pleasure lets try not to wake her tho"

.

See you soon xxx

[loucifieri]

To Hell and Back (v3 HPA AU)

[Part 1]

It’s a bigger hot mess than the previous one lol

04/21/18 09:21PM

ShirogaNYEH: welcome back! previously, Akamatsu-san creates a group chat, Ouma-kun uses it to stir some shit and in the end, a subtle confession was made!

starlord: shirogane what the heck weve been chatting continuously

Maki Roll: yeah what are you even going on about

ShirogaNYEH: but it's not the same case with the audience

starlord: what audience??

Lord Panta: can we go back to my moment

chaotic lesbean: no go away

Lord Panta: ANYWAY

Lord Panta: is it true Saihara-chan??

Lord Panta: do you find me irresistible?

The Only Hope For Me Is You: I wouldn't use that adjective but yeah

The Only Hope For Me Is You: you're hard to ignore

Lord Panta: !!!!!!

The Only Hope For Me Is You: since you constantly demand attention

The Only Hope For Me Is You: You're like an annoying itch that just won't go away

starlord: ooooh SHOT DOWN

Treblemaker: Damn Shuichi-kun, didn't think you would be a harsh heartbreaker

Do You Believe In Magic: lol rip........

Maki Roll: good job saihara

Lord Panta: I

Lord Panta: …

Lord Panta: that's hot

dumb blonde slut: haha the purple twink is obviously a bottom

Lord Panta: bitch it takes one to know one :)

dumb blonde slut: eek n-no im not

starlord: he didnt even deny it

Robot Rights Activist: I backlogged and I seem to recall you express dissatisfaction over your assigned nickname, Iruma-san

Robot Rights Activist: Why haven't you changed it yet?

Lord Panta: coz she actually likes it, duh

dumb blonde slut: piss off cockichi

dumb blonde slut: awww kibs ur concerned!! i always knew u were in love with me

Robot Rights Activist: I do not.

Treblemaker: yeouch

starlord: so many crushed hearts tonite

Lord Panta: EAT SHIT AND DIE DUMB BLONDE SLUT

Treblemaker: Hey! No attacking!

Imma meme: you literally attacked me moments ago smh

Kork: This is a mess.

dumb blonde slut: dont get ur panties in a twist, idiot virgins

dumb blonde slut: the great iruma miu is too gorgeous 2 be affected by this shit

dumb blonde slut: im hella gay anyway

chaotic lesbean: you go Iruma-san!!

Robot Rights Activist: Still, I apologize if I came across as rude in any way! It was not my intention.

dumb blonde slut: dont beat urself too much over it kibs

Treblemaker: Aww Iruma-san really has a soft spot for Idabashi-kun

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Uh, Kaede-san, I assume you have your headphones on because I've been knocking on your door for awhile now and you haven't shifted from your position to indicate that you will answer the door.

ShirogaNYEH: truly a detective,,,

Treblemaker: oh shit sorry!!

chaotic lesbean: AND WHAT IS A DEGENERATE LIKE YOU DOING IN THE FEMALE AREA OF THE DORM THIS LATE AT NIGHT

Treblemaker: It's fine Chabashira-san!! Shuichi-kun usually comes over so we can gossip or whatever

chaotic lesbean: WHAT??? USUALLY??????

Maki Roll: wow Saihara, you managed to sneak past chabashira several times already, im impressed

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Thank you Harukawa-san! I feel validated.

Lord Panta: is there really NOTHING going on between you two

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Kaede-san is my bestfriend??

Treblemaker: Yeah, why does that bother you so much Ouma-kun?

Kork: He likely feels envious of your relationship.

Lord Panta: lol no

starlord: sure jan

Lord Panta: quick question what are yall sexual orientations

imma meme: im fabulously gay

chaotic lesbean: isn't it obvious

dumb blonde slut: dont have 2 repeat myself

Do You Believe In Magic: ace...... sexual attraction is tiring.........

ShirogaNYEH: same!!

Kork: as am I.

Treblemaker: Actually, I'm Bi but I tend to prefer girls

starlord: well since were being honest ok im bi too

Maki Roll: same

Gokuhara Gonta: Gonta loves all!! And Hoshi-kun says he's Ace!

Treblemaker: Gonta-kun, it's getting really late. You and Hoshi-kun should start heading back here.

Gokuhara Gonta: Of course, Akamatsu-san!

Imma meme: spoken like another mom

Treblemaker: >:(

Robot Rights Activist: My attraction is not affected by one's sexual orientation

bitch I am the WAY: Angie is pan!~

The Only Hope For Me Is You: I'm gay

Lord Panta: YES!!!!

Maki Roll: wow he was not subtle AT ALL

Treblemaker: What about you @Mother Knows Best?

imma meme: why do you want to know (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

Treblemaker: It wouldn't be fair to leave out someone from a question addressed to everyone!

Treblemaker: also, another word amami and im bashing your head with a shot put ball

ShirogaNYEH: go get em Akamatsu-san!

imma meme: im having war flashbacks

Mother Knows Best: Thank you for your consideration, Akamatsu-san. Apologies for not replying the soonest as I had to attend to some last minute errands. To answer your query, my preference is of the same sex.

Lord Panta: okay cool thank you for your input everyone!!!

Maki Roll: you only wanted to know one person's tho

dumb blonde slut: how about bull balls what do u think his orientation is

starlord: are you referring to great gozu??

dumb blonde slut: yea dumbass

dumb blonde slut: oh fuck those huge man tits,,,

dumb blonde slut: annsd heds a wretslerr he g ets all sewaTYyna d

chaotic lesbean: OK TENKO HAS HEARD ENOUGH

Maki Roll: Iruma shut the fuck up

bitch I am the WAY: Angie hears moaning again and it is very disturbing~~

Treblemaker: To think our rooms are billed as soundproof...

The Only Hope For Me Is You: I am effectively traumatized tonight.

ShirogaNYEH: we need to take this up with the headmaster!!

imma meme: uhhh its kinda weird to explain how we discovered the walls arent entirely soundproof

imma meme: “our classmate was masturbating too loudly to thoughts about our homeroom teacher's man boobs”

Kork: Let us not prolong this discussion. Can someone take care of that horrid excuse of a human being.

bitch I am the WAY: oh, she has stopped

bitch I am the WAY: Ah, Angie hears loud noises of struggle

bitch I am the WAY: then some shuffling outside the hallway

bitch I am the WAY: it is dead quiet now

chaotic lesbean: what just happened

chaotic lesbean: Tenko was terrified to peek outside

Treblemaker: Harukawa-san we talked about this

Maki Roll: what? I didn't kill her

Hoshi Ryoma: yo

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Hello Hoshi-kun

Hoshi Ryoma: just got back in the dorm with gokuhara

Hoshi Ryoma: he want back to his room but

Hoshi Ryoma: im still in the lounge room rn

Hoshi Ryoma: im seein tojo with a gagged and immobile iruma wrapped in a blanket being dragged across the room to the front door

Hoshi Ryoma: tojo just dumped her out

Lord Panta: NISHISHISHI PUNISHMENT TIME

chaotic lesbean: :O

imma meme: what an ICON

Treblemaker: woah thats hot

bitch I am the WAY: she is doing Atua's work~~

Mother Knows Best: I was merely disposing of the trash.

Do You Believe In Magic: …..tnx mom........

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Best mom!

starlord: shouldn't that include ouma tho

Lord Panta: suck my dick spaceman

Robot Rights Activist: Language!

Lord Panta: da hell keeboy it wasnt even that crass

Gokuhara Gonta: Oh no! What has been going on here, friends?

chaotic lesbean: NOTHING! PLEASE CARRY ON WITH YOUR NORMAL NIGHTLY ROUTINE

starlord: hey gonta, buddy, do me a favor and dont backlog

Gokuhara Gonta: Alright, Momota-kun!

ShirogaNYEH: Gonta-kun should not be tainted in any way!!

ShirogaNYEH: we should probably let Iruma-san inside now though

Lord Panta: are you in league with the DEVOL

Maki Roll: not like you're any better

Mother Knows Best: Very well. I suppose she has learned her lesson, at least for this moment.

Imma meme: well this was wild

Treblemaker: Let's not talk about this ever again

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Group chats tend to spiral down into levels of insanity the longer we spend time in it

Kork: Might I suggest a more... family-friendly topic?

Treblemaker: What is it, Shinguji-kun?

Kork: Ghosts in Hope's Peak

starlord: FUCK NO

bitch I am the WAY: hmmm what about nicknames for Gonta and Ryoma!~

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Good idea, Angie-san

Gokuhara Gonta: Oh yes! Gonta is excited on what name friends will gift him!

Imma meme: okay we better not fuck this up then

Lord Panta: allow me~

Maki Roll removed Lord Panta from the chat

starlord: lol sniped again

imma meme: DEADT

chaotic lesbean: noone must ruin this special moment!!

Do You Believe In Magic changed Gokuhara Gonta to Good Noodle

imma meme: yumeno-san is our name-changing cryptid

Good Noodle: Thank you Yumeno-san! Gonta loves this nickname!

ShirogaNYEH: im,,, CRYING

chaotic lesbean: you're doing amazing, sweetie

Do You Believe In Magic changed Hoshi Ryoma to quail egg

ShirogaNYEH: s m o l  b e a n

quail egg: NO

imma meme: hoshi-kun can literally punt us to the sun let's not baby him

starlord: not to mention that hes got a deeper voice than the rest of us guys

starlord: its so manly

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Momota-kun, your gay is showing

Treblemaker: Yay! Now everyone's got a nickname.

Treblemaker: We should probably add Ouma-kun back here.

quail egg: respectfully disagree

chaotic lesbean: you are too nice akamatsu-san!!!

ShirogaNYEH: funny how we somehow end up kicking Ouma-kun out the chat then add him later towards the end of the chapter...

starlord: ????

Treblemaker added Lord Panta to the chat.

Do You Believe In Magic changed Lord Panta to notto disu shitto agen

notto disu shitto again: i feel loved

dumb blonde slut: THE GREAT IRUMA MIU IS BACK YA DUMB VIRGINS

Maki Roll: fuck go back

Kork: This is the 10th Circle of Hell.

Mother Knows Best: I would like to inform everyone that the time is now five minutes past eleven in the evening. I believe this is the ideal time for all of us to get some rest as we have a class on Physical Education early morning.

Imma meme: omg I hate PE

notto disu shitto agen: but moooooom

Mother Knows Best: All of you go to sleep or I will not make breakfast for everyone tomorrow.

notto disu shitto agen: okay okay jeez

dumb blonde slut: yes mommy

starlord: aight mom

bitch I am the WAY: Apparently, Angie must postpone here sacrificial ritual tonight~~

ShirogaNYEH: awww I wont binge watch anime tonight then

Do You Believe In Magic: ….....good nyt...................

chaotic lesbean: Sleep well yumeno-chan <3

Do You Believe In Magic: …...........nyeh <3

Good Noodle: Goodnight everyone!

quail egg: night

dumb blonde slut: nyt cocksuckers

The Only Hope For Me Is You: Good night, all!

notto disu shitto agen: hey saihara-chan are you back at your room can i come over :v

The Only Hope For Me Is You: nah I'm sleeping over Kaede-san's tonight

notto disu shitto agen: WHAT

chaotic lesbean: WHAT

Mother Knows Best: Saihara-san, I am afraid I will have to escort you out. Now.

Imma meme: oof

-

nickname guide notto disu shitto agen: Ouma The Only Hope For Me Is You: Saihara Treblemaker: Akamatsu bitch I am the WAY: Yonaga starlord: momota shirogaNYEH: shirogane Mother Knows Best: tojo imma meme: amami Maki Roll: harukawa Do You Believe In Magic: yumeno chaotic lesbean: chabashira Kork: shinguji Robot Rights Activist: idabashi dumb blonde slut: iruma Good Noodle: gokuhara quail egg: hoshi

NDRV3 HPA AU Character Design Masterlist here and background information here [Facebook] [Instagram] [Twitter] [Blogger] [Kofi]

[obannthepunished]

This weeks notes Mostly transcription this week i think, i tried my best for nott’s scene. as usual ignore the asterisks because theyre just notes to myself.

peace

Molly is Nervous (tm) abiut sticking around, or going to the gentleman

theres a fight in the evening nip, beau is fucking excited its thedd (halfling from sewers) and lewis (one of the ones that had run from the research facility)

N: "I got three gold on Thedd" M: Seems a bit late for a wager at this point N: Just you and me! M:.... fair. I'm in.

Thedd wins by standing on lewis' throat til he passes out holy shit M: (drops coins into Nott's hand) N, smug: Thank you :)

oh now Nott and Beau are fighting jesus christ. C: "I cast Haste on Beauregard." Laura: YOU PIECE OF SHIT **

J: Inflict Wounds (17 dmg) ((Fjord, changing his voice: "I GOT 5 GOLD ON THE HORNY ONE)) B: WHAT THE FUCK JESTER, Stunning Strike, (7dmg, jes fails con save (6), she is stunned, extra attack from haste, 6dmg) J: (is stunned for this round, until the end of beaus turn) B: Beaus the shit outta her ( 12dmg, 6dmg) ((MOLLY blinds her)) B: still goin, but misses 2 of em, hits on the third (12dmg) J: (goes down)

caleb: goes for the low five, and Beau just.... ignores him unintentionally bless.

Frumpkin is sent to lick the blood off of jesters face, Beau cleans her up <33

They are called to the gentleman's side

offered a forward of 500gp and a pot of 4500g to travel to Shady Creek Run, the criminals town, and free and bring back Ophelia... something, who corresponds often with the gentleman

the tldr of the second (250 adv, 1750 pot) is that the swamps are dangerous for the gentlemans safehouse which has gone dark.

theyre promised resources for missions from the gentleman

Jester: "IS HE MOIST"(re the gentleman)

they take on both, starting with the swamps. The Gentleman advises they travel the 70 miles above ground.

Fjord is so fuckin smooth talky wtf. they get greater heling potion(s)?? + cure disease? Caleb's gettin some ink + paper, but its not good for spells 8(

Nott keeps making water puns. im counting 4. and a hankie.

Jester wand of smiles Kutha again, poor kutha 8(

Caleb + beau ( + assumedly nott) go to pumat's

have they paid their inn tab??

Cay buys incense for rituals, probably find familiar lbh. he also gets his magical ink+parchment.

Beau is interested in the bracers of defence. Theyre like 1200gp tho arent they??? B: how much PS: 1200 gold B:HOLY SHIT PUMAT. [snip] B: HOLY SHIT PUMAT(S).

C: (tells beau he cast haste) B: YOU SLIP SOMETHIN IN MY DRINK CALEB??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN

they have 6 horses, 2 pulling, 6 solo. Jes is driving thr cart.

Caleb: (brings up the feywild) Jester: oh the traveller has told me about that!!

Frumpkin is (one of) the first cats yasha has seen 8'O shes fuckin loving it **

lots of fucking soldiers heading to war. hundreds, if not thousands.

night falls as they reach the origin of the. road. they cant find a campground because tal rolled SHIT even with advantage.

Jester + Fjord take first watch. (13. Nothing) Yasha + Beau on second watch. (14. Also Nothing.) B: We should huddle together for warmth??? Y: Fr- Frumpkin is keeping me. very warm. are you cold??? do you want my, my cloak? B: No, no my, my (jacket??? cant remember what she said) is fine, its htin, but its warm Then they talk about Yasha ands this is the furthest shes ever been. Y: "i like this stuff. Grass, and, things. you know." B: You appreciate grass?

B: What was your favourite part of xorhas? Y: I... dont know if i HAD a favourite part

this was the CUTEST shit

third watch is Nott + Molly (10, nothing happens) taliesin trying a jester voice makes me the heart eyes emoji

goblins canonically steal children what THE FUCK. And EAT them. But Nott, apparently, has not eaten a child. "My clan, we STOLE from people. money and clothing and things. And when things got tough, we'd steal the people too." Goblins dont do family. "I do not have an urge to kill and eat children" "i have cravings for... rats... cats-" (Caleb snaps) Frumpkin goes back to the feywild Yasha: =(

taliesin taking watch after rolling shit cmon. he gets 16. Noon, broken cloud cover, a tiny distant curl of smoke. oh not again. its a mile away tho so like

the smoke is coming from a small shack.

"For you, Fjord, I will make Frumpkin a bird." He doesn't though but its the sentiment.

Yasha gets shoulder frumpkin back!

The shack door opens to "an elderly fullblood orc" with hair and beard and all that shit.

for 1 (one) gp a month, you TOO can bother a whole old man orc. Jesus christ he had a battleaxe. puts it down, invites yasha and molly in. THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY Molly buys hide armor + 2lb of meat for 16gp. M: Perception check 10. Matt: "Okay." There is sOMETHING SUS about this.

and theyre off again, i am glad for this. i do not like elderly orc man.

yasha and molly double up on that goof "we totally killed him, three times." its very good

M + Y: What kind of meat is this? (fuck their rolls) its meat! its good meat!

M+Y take first watch, its 12. Nothing happens. Yasha collects some flowers to press awww. N+C Second watch, they roll w advantage lmao. 22. something is going to happen. "you hear the snapping of a twig. you see a shifting of shadow. a few things" Cay casts mage armor

Two arrows for Caleb. con saving throw. probably poison. 10. its poison. he is poisoned. fucks frickin sake. is it gnolls?? is it goblins??? hyenas??? furred barking things. wolves.

two ogres, a cluster of wolves, and goblin-like creatures

initiative order:

Beau: Nat20, 24 Goblins Caleb: 18 Fjord, Molly: 16 Ogres Nott: 15 Yasha, Jester: 6 Wolves

B: Jester, puppies!!

Yasha and Jester shrug off poison of those that hit them.

Caleb casts slow on one ogre. unrelated liam is so good???

oh yeah eldritch blast gets two beams of eldritch blast at lv3

Molly radiants once scimitar and cuts RIGHT through one of em. misses the second.

Caleb hit with a javelin, 4-5 inches into his stomach, holding itself upright. Caleb keeps the spell going.

Nott pretends shes one of them and aims for Caleb, hits the book instead. and nails it.

Jester (traumatised): CALEB!!! cure wounds 2nd level. but he is pretty fucked so its ok. he heals to full its ok its ok. Jester cares so much

Yasha pulls necrotic shroud! which as someone who cant watch TM, this is a reveal for me! :D

J: (to cale) Youre alive! How did- C: (monotonous) haha! funny, joke.

Fjord explodes a goblin Molly cuts one in half, vertically

Molly curses the ogre attacking beau

Nott shoots the ogre, and then the goblin next to her... but misses and is fucked

Yash gets the hdywtdt on one of the ogres

Beau @ necrotic shroud!yasha: you look... dope. You look FUCKIN HOT LETS GO.

cay has magic missile!

fjord gets the second hdywtdt w eldritch blast.

cay n molly go to retrieve stolen goods from goblin but apparently just Molly

Yasha necrotic shrouds when shes startled awake. F: Can you fly? Y: ...no J: Have you tried? Y:... yeah.

Yasha n Caleb have a conversation in celestial C: No really, are you an angel? Y: of sorts, i guess [snip] C: You will have to explain this now, or later. do you want to explain this now, or later? Y: i- ill explain it, just, maybe we should clean up first!

i have no idea whats going on but i heard marisha say "bad dragon" and im gonna die

J: Nott, are you okay? Was it weird to fight other goblins? N: it was... rewarding. I'm only sad that... one got away. B: Nott, do you share the same hatred in yourself? [snip] N: Do... do I hate myself? No. I'm... I'm cool. F: You seem excited to hurt your own kind. N: I know, I'm a goblin, for as long as I've been alive I haven't felt comfortable in, in there. I havent felt comfortable in my skin. It feels like I shouldnt be, i dont fit in with them. I feel, this feels WRONG, like I should be in a different body. The way they act, the way they are, it's not ME. They do horrible things to people, and they seem fine with it. I never felt the same with them. It's not that I don't like myself or anything, I think I'm okay, I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands, or my feet. They just feel wrong. I just want to be... different. C: Was there anyone you were close to? N: Not in my clan, but there was... someone. They tried me on different jobs but I was not a soldier, i was not a good cook, not good at sweing, or building, they stuck me with the torturer. I was the torturers assistant. there was a halfling village not far away and they captured someone from the village, they wanted me to kill him, but instead, I was kind to him. And he started talking, and my... fellow gobbies didn't like that, but they allowed it, because i was getting valuable information. [about halflings resources] I became friends with him. He was nice. J: What happened to him? N: I hope he got away J: Did you leave before him? N: We left together [snip J: Did you love him? N: .... I don't know. The halfling taught her how to speak in halfling, taught her about alchemy, when he has taught her everything, the goblins said to kill him. And she didnt want to. so she got REAL drunk, and shot another goblin in the ass. N: I hope he got away. We ran off in separate directions. I've been running ever since.

+1 to the quest log, find Nott's friend.

Beaus trying to be nice i love her.

C: I do not care. I know who you are now. (<333)

B: I think we're all a little bit of island of misfits.

F: You showed a lot of bravery tonight B: Nott, The brave. J: Maybe there is a comma.

Y: Nott, I'm sorry we made fun of you eating children N: I HAVE NOT EATEN CHILDREN

B: What got you locked up with this guy? (Caleb) N: Being me. Stealing food? C: You told me it was cherry wine. N: OKAY IT WAS BOOZE.

it is now raining.

M: Well, I'm sleeping underneath the cart! if anyone wants to join me... J: We wont all fit! M: We'll snuggle. *

Molly + Jester are under the cart.

"i tasted a baby once. ONCE. they were handing around a bowl, I didn't know-" -N Liam takes Sam's flask and takes a swig so i assume caleb does the same in canon C: "Who am I to judge?"

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Buster

Edie: oi my sister there Buster: She's at work Buster: Are you alright? Edie: tell her come home so everyone get off my dick Buster: I can't tell her what to do Edie: ha yeah u can Edie: i know how she is Buster: Come on Edie: What I thought you want everyone 2 know Edie: or that not include me Edie: wouldn't be the first Buster: 'Course you're included, Eds Buster: Alright fine, I'll be honest Buster: I don't wanna tell her to come home Buster: Do you get that? Edie: oh i get it Edie: its fucked up but i'm with it Buster: Call me a selfish cunt if you want but that's how it is Edie: Why'd I call u that Edie: u didn't do that shit den bounce on us Buster: Yeah but I want her to stay here Edie: yeah u getting ur dick sucked Edie: i said i get it Buster: It's not like that Edie: it is tho man Edie: i'm sorry to tell u actual Edie: but whatever she chat, you ain't special to her, you know Edie: that's just how she do Buster: Nah, babe Buster: It's different Edie: oh mckenna mckenna Edie: thought you was smart Buster: I am Buster: That's why I know what I'm saying is legit, yeah? Edie: the timing ain't got u fucked Edie: oh no i'm in trouble, here's another distraction, like Buster: Like I said, it isn't like that Buster: Me and her have been together long before Drew did what he did Edie: and she's wanted drew to pipe her long before you Edie: ain't none of us believe that just came outta the blue Buster: Don't Buster: She's never wanted him like that Buster: It was one sided, all from him Buster: Yeah, he's been playing that way for a while too but Edie: I'd hear her and Indie talking you know Edie: now that's fucked up, catch her talking to me like that and he ain't even wanna be my dad Buster: What do you reckon you've been hearing? Edie: 'low it, KNOW what i hard Edie: heard, whatever Edie: she thought he was soooooo hot, like every other bimbo in this family Buster: Maybe for one second when she was a kid Buster: It doesn't mean anything other than that Edie: oh boy you drank too much koolaid Buster: Nah Buster: I've been there when he's been acting up, I've seen it for myself how much she wasn't about him like that Buster: Trust me Edie: obvs she ain't gon be wid it when you're about Edie: like at the baby shower Edie: she ain't thick Edie: smarter than u Buster: She isn't ever Buster: It's fucked up Buster: He is Edie: save the spiel baby Edie: he's this family's scapegoat for when they wanna do the fuck shit they wanna do Buster: He's a cunt regardless Edie: u cute Edie: don't let her play u the same Buster: You wish, babe Buster: I know exactly what I'm doing Buster: Do you? Edie: haha Edie: babe, is it really that good it worth dis Edie: i always know what i'm doing Edie: whatever i want Buster: It's worth way more than this shit Buster: Believe it or not Buster: Like it or not Edie: no one like it but what they gon do right Buster: They can do whatever they want Buster: So can I Edie: dun know who u think u preaching at or why Edie: i don't give a fuck what u do Edie: came here cuz i need em off my dick and back on hers and i'm outta here Buster: Why are you chatting at me then like you wanna save me from her or something? I don't buy it, Eds Buster: You could have just said that and left Buster: You care Buster: So talk to her Edie: i care bout me Edie: they're pissing me off more than normal Edie: shame if they get u too but ain't gonna be crying over it baby Buster: Come to London Buster: You can stay here Edie: i dont like u like that mckenna Edie: soz Buster: Shut up Buster: You know what I mean Edie: rahhhh u actually so fucked up lmao Edie: i got places i wanna be Edie: thats the point Buster: You want your fam off your back I'm offering you somewhere to be where they won't be Buster: That's the point Edie: who she Edie: just cos she wanna try out for new step mum Buster: Aint I always had your back? Come on Buster: She isn't gonna give you grief like that Edie: you alright but dont get it twisted u ain't know me like that Edie: i don't wanna see her again at all Buster: I'll get you a hotel if you wanna come then Edie: hell no u cant buy me Edie: i ain't no hooker like ri be Buster: Don't call her that Buster: You know it ain't true Edie: it is tho Edie: she can do what she want but i aint gotta respect it or call it by a diff name to make her feel good bout it Buster: Don't be stupid Buster: You ain't a kid, you know how this all works Edie: she gets paid for her company Edie: what u wanna call it Edie: what makes u feel better Buster: Forget it Buster: I'm not trying to hit my head against the bricks Edie: hahaha thats what they always say when im right Edie: well if she aint gon go back for them she should know her man going pure apeshit, wilding out again like he think he the age he feelin Buster: Nah it's what they say when you won't be told. Not the same thing, like Buster: For the last time, he ain't her man. She doesn't give a fuck what he does or doesn't do Edie: meh whatever you say boy Edie: someone needs to go cheer him up Buster: Not our problem Buster: You do it if you're that bothered Edie: well he won't speak to me will he Edie: i ain't that fuckable, clearly Edie: or he got more morals than yous, either or Buster: Fuck's sake. Don't say shit like that to me Edie: awh mckenna only playin Edie: it's kinda funny tbh Edie: she act like she give the most shits about this fam Edie: and then she ruin it like that cos she wanna bang Buster: Hilarious Buster: She hasn't ruined anything Buster: Behave Edie: yous don't know u ain't here Edie: i'm tellin ya, why u think i'm jumping ship Buster: Neither are you, babe so don't act it Buster: If anything's fucked it's cause Drew fucked it Buster: You should be used to that as a concept Edie: didn't fuck himself mckenna Edie: all yous carry on blaming him til he the only one left tho Buster: I'm blaming him for this 'cause it's his fault Buster: I'm not trying to go any further back in time Edie: what u so whipped for Buster: Fuck off Buster: I know you'd love it to be that simple but it ain't Edie: u actually serious u think u love her Buster: I do love her Buster: I know that Edie: gon take up heroin next mckenna Buster: Grow up Edie: not the one still playing kissing cousins Edie: cute Buster: I don't care what you think Buster: And if that's the best you've got, don't bother, like Edie: good Edie: me either Edie: easier init Buster: Sometimes Edie: don't do halves Buster: Me either Buster: But you ain't the only one getting grief and feeling over it so Edie: fair you are chucking one in your fam, what u expect Edie: i've not done shit Buster: Whatever you say, babe Edie: ha tell me dickhead what have i done u reckon Buster: You're a bit of a cunt honestly Edie: boohoo Edie: if i was i'd fit right in Buster: You are and you do Buster: Deal with it, like Edie: all i do is deal with the unfortunateness of it trust Buster: Don't we all Edie: well bondings been fun babe but i got to go Edie: tell 'em all fairwell from me if you could tah u a real one Buster: Not your errand boy, sorry about it Buster: But not Edie: oh well Edie: they'll deal with not hearing it Buster: Since you ain't giving 'em a choice, yeah, they'll have to Edie: since when did u have to Edie: i ain't had 1 Buster: You've had plenty Buster: There's always choices Buster: Don't chat that bullshit to me Edie: nah Edie: god bless thank god u pretty Buster: Yeah Buster: On both counts Edie: i never had any it was all decided 'fore i even got here Buster: Nah Edie: yeah, mckenna Edie: he ain't want me, ma did Edie: i don't want her Edie: what a sad lil circle Buster: That's a cop out Buster: None of us got to pick our parents, babe Edie: least yours picked you Buster: Your ma picked you and Caleb Buster: You've got a mum and a dad same as I do Edie: well i don't want either of 'em Edie: so i'm offski Buster: Like I said, choices Buster: That's yours Edie: yeah it is Edie: finally Buster: Alright Buster: So stop wasting both our time with this chat then, yeah? Buster: It ain't going nowhere and you've decided you are Buster: Somewhere to be, like Edie: oooh Edie: touchy Edie: i'm waiting for my ride n my time Edie: what u even doin Buster: You don't care so what does it matter Edie: long as it matters to you babe Buster: Cheers Buster: Good insight Edie: ikr Edie: talents are wasted on this town Buster: You and me both Edie: shut up dickhead Edie: streets are paved with gold are they not Buster: Again, you wish it was that simple, babe Edie: why u even invited me then Edie: n u don't wanna fuck me Edie: rude Buster: I can only offer what I can offer Buster: I said it was an out from your fam not a fix all paradise, like Edie: lame and untrue to boot Edie: unfortunate but happens to the best of yas Buster: Whatever Edie: you might be ignoring the family tree like Edie: nothing in it for me Buster: Fine Buster: Don't come Edie: wasn't gonna Edie: doubt we got enough disel to get that far Buster: That's what planes are for Buster: But you know Edie: you know i ain't got that money Buster: I wasn't suggesting you paid for it Edie: kai has less than me lmao Buster: Him either Edie: mckenna mckenna mckenna if she's really doing that bad a job there's places you can go, people you can see Buster: This is boring Buster: You're just repeating yourself now girl Edie: you ain't my first choices either baby it's cool Edie: he's picking up Buster: Very gentlemanly Edie: like i ain't paying for it lmao Buster: If that's your way of saying you need money, make your mind up, like Edie: i'm saying that's where my money goes and is why he ain't getting on no plane Edie: paranoia man it'll get ya Buster: Yeah Buster: I bet Edie: Poor baby Edie: and Charlie thought he left all that behind him Edie: unlucky Buster: Can't say he don't know how to handle it at least Edie: that's a joke init Buster: Are you laughing right now? Edie: Big time Edie: got even less of a handle than ali and caleb Buster: Sure the judgement really helps too Edie: who's judging Buster: You Edie: Nah Edie: I don't care enough for that, I'm just laughing at the mess, not commenting on it Buster: Whatever you say Edie: how much would you give me Edie: outta interest Buster: How much do you want? Edie: ha you're such a bullshitter Edie: wouldn't stall if u was serious Buster: It's a serious question Buster: I don't know how long you're going for or where Buster: Not just gonna pull a number out the air Edie: for good and wherever we end up Edie: guess there's no ballpoint on that eh Buster: That's what you're saying now but if you're gone for a day and I give you a grand its not you who looks like a mug Edie: you a mug thinkin u get to tell me what to do with it like her Edie: its drug money mckenna don't act dumb Buster: Have I said shit about how to spend it? Nah Buster: Be serious and I will Buster: Tell me how much you want Edie: wow you really are dumb Edie: be careful out here baby Edie: even i ain't gonna play u like that but so many will Buster: Fuck off Buster: You're all talk, kid Edie: i'm serious Edie: ain't got your rents biz head have u jesus Buster: You don't know shit about what I'm got or not, Edie Buster: Don't act like you do Edie: you showed enough cards Buster: Nah, I'm showing you I can help you Buster: But be stupid Buster: How far you think you're gonna get with no money and no way to get any? Buster: Unless you're gonna play it the same way as Rio does whilst judging her for earning it Edie: you can help me get high? you and half the punters in this postcode, my da included Edie: ain't special baby and i ain't tryna enter yours so i don't need much Edie: plenty ways of getting cash that don't involve selling your ass Buster: Yeah, you're really smart Edie: aw thanks Buster: Cheers yourself Buster: Not a waste of time at all Edie: You're precious Buster: I know Edie: I reckon we've talked for sufficient time you can play you tried to stop me now Buster: I'm not gonna bullshit anyone Buster: That's for you to do Edie: as you like Edie: oh, tell ri gracie keeps crying, like ALL the time Edie: more than usual Buster: Tell her yourself Edie: alright Edie: she didn't reply last time i wrote her tho but worth a shot Buster: Try saying something worth reading Buster: I know it's a stretch but Edie: aw darn, i really thought i was smart Edie: oh well Buster: Bye, Edie Edie: laters mckenna Buster: Unlikely from how you're selling it, but sure Edie: see i don't know what u reckon the point of u is if you ain't gonna let me hit u up on the reg for cash Edie: you ain't know how this works Buster: I'm not trying to be anything for you Buster: Not my job Edie: knife thru my heart Edie: she always got the best of everything so used to it Buster: yeah yeah Edie: there u go again 💘 Buster: Poor baby Edie: u got jokes Buster: I know Buster: Pretty, smart and funny Edie: when u suck urself off that's somehow grosser than the incest Edie: eurgh Buster: Hilarious Edie: no jokes Edie: i reckon that's hurting your chances more Buster: I didn't ask and I don't care Edie: awh so in love is it Buster: Even if I wasn't, not gonna take advice from you Edie: why not Buster: Not gonna write you a list either Edie: i get laid Edie: by people i ain't related to n all, craziness Buster: Well done Edie: why thank you Buster: Sure your boyfriend wants to talk to you more than I do Buster: So on you go Edie: probably not if he's started without me but you know Buster: Well all the more reason to catch him up then Edie: ha you really don't like me do you Buster: You're not as stupid as you sound Buster: Good to know Edie: its chill b Edie: i dont like me either Buster: Do something about it then Edie: who for? Edie: this cunt Edie: i think not Buster: For you maybe Edie: that's the cunt i was referring to Edie: keep up Buster: You're just being so edgy right now, like Buster: How can I? Edie: we all know u aint vanilla now boy quit playin Buster: You first Edie: what u chattin i'm bein painfully real Buster: You're trying too hard, babe Edie: at what lmao Buster: This game Buster: Been there, done it Buster: You ain't been real this whole convo Edie: tragically i have Edie: soz you found it disappointing but same Buster: Disappointing ain't the word Buster: If you wanna put any in my mouth, try even harder Edie: you should save the wiser older brother bit tho Edie: ur actual sis would probs benefit Buster: I'm not trying to be that for her or you Buster: Unlucky Edie: now who's not being real Edie: it's cute, don't be ashamed Buster: Why should I be real for you? Edie: u shouldn't Edie: just a bit weird to be lecturing me Edie: unless you really tryna kick it daddy and its all do as i say not as i do Edie: i'm with you Buster: Weird ain't the half of what you reckon I am so why do you care? Edie: why do you Buster: Why do I care about you? Buster: Don't be stupid Edie: i'm not u got no reason Buster: Yeah I do Edie: ha sure Buster: Whatever Edie: you're as bad as her aren't you Edie: i got it fucked feeling sorry for you at the start Edie: you gonna chat like family means anything, god, at least i thought you were committed mckenna Buster: She ain't bad, that's your first mistake Buster: She's better than me, that's your second Edie: three strikes and i'm out? Edie: fun Edie: lemme think Buster: If we were playing that you'd have been out ages ago, babe Edie: good to know Edie: underestimated myself again but that's life Buster: I wouldn't know Buster: Not how I'm living Edie: hmm i wouldn't peg you as a total jump the gun cum in your pants type but if you insist Buster: You ain't got a clue how to peg me but it doesn't matter Edie: i been in the know on that but like i said Edie: don't like u like that Buster: Good Edie: lmao gotta draw the line somewhere mckenna Edie: glad to know it's at butt stuff Edie: on that note, peace Edie: my ride here Buster: Bye again Buster: Been a pleasure, obviously Edie: put it on my tab Buster: 'Course

[ylla]

Friday Night Gurus - Chapter 5

Series: JJBA Ships: josuyasu, koichi/yukako (others will eventually happen too, but im tagging as i go) Tags: celebrity au, modern au, pining, recreational drug use (smoking that wacky tabaccy), meeting some of the fam, dirty talk, dicc succing, josuke and okuyasu go on a learning journey together Rating: E (YEAHHHH TIME FOR SOME SEXY STUFF)

AO3 link

LONG TIME, NO SEE. Sorry for taking 10000 years to update. I’ve got a 20 hour unpaid internship, 20 hour work week, and a full class load on top of it all. I’m slowly losing my mind! :’D But, I’ve been plugging along at this for awhile, and now it is bearing fruit, so I hope that you all will enjoy the new chapter. I can’t give a time frame of when I’ll have the next one up, as I absolutely have to update TMBTP and also finish a commission, but hopefully it will be sooner than later!

Also, fair warning, this chapter is where the fic earns it’s explicit rating :’) I hope the smut isn’t awfully written, and if it is, it’s due to me hooting like a 12 year old the entire time I wrote it.

A FEW THINGS OF NOTE:

- manxom has given me the good content, and helped me flesh out FNG so much, that i gave them co-author status! They’re real, and strong, and my friend, and has really helped me shape the AU!

- puffle-tuff who is a friend and boi drew Oku and Josuke watching RHoA together! FOLLOW THEIR ART BLOG, THEY’RE SO GOOD! 

- emberandcelica made a spotify playlist for FNG, and it’s really good! So go check it out when you get the chance! 

As always, remember to comment on the fic, kudos the fic, and bookmark the fic to see more of the same fic content.

The worst part of being a world-famous musician, in Josuke’s opinion, was the tedious amount of boring business shit you ended up sitting through. Contracts, scheduling interviews, planning photoshoots; it felt endless at times. Really, being in the business of being yourself could be so dreadful, and Josuke avoided as much as he could. He was a busy man, with a 3 week young relationship with an amazing guy and a load of other horseshit to take care of. The only way Koichi could get him to stay in one place long enough to go over everything was to corner him while they ate at a restaurant, which was exactly what was happening at that moment as they waited for their significant others to appear. “Morioh Records wants you to come by sometime in October to talk about your contract with the new CEO,” Koichi passed Josuke the email he printed out. Josuke made a face while reading it before sliding it back across the table. Morioh Records was his label, and while they had always been good to him, Josuke hadn’t heard anything great about the new guy in charge. He scowled, “I’m good through the next year, why does he wanna talk to me about it already?” Koichi shrugged, “He wants to get all of his ducks in a row, I guess.” “What’s his name again?” “Kira Yoshikage.” “Never heard of him,” Josuke sniffed. “He was some anonymous board member that somehow got appointed as CEO when the other guy retired.” Koichi pulled out another piece of paper, “Last thing, I swear,” he quickly added when Josuke rolled his eyes so hard, they looked like they were about to pop out of his head, “Calvin Klein called, they wanna do another underwear ad campaign with you.” Josuke perked up at that, “Really? Hell yeah, I’m down.” “Thought you would be. I’ll email them and say you’re up for it,” Koichi looked at his phone with a slight frown, “I figured Yukako and Okuyasu would be here by now. Wonder where they are…” As if summoned by magic, Okuyasu and Yukako blew into the private room they were in. Oku had a strange look on his face as he plopped down in the chair beside Josuke, “Keicho has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about,” he said in lieu of a greeting. Yukako pressed a kiss on Koichi’s forehead before sitting in the chair beside him, “He doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Okuyasu pointed a finger at her, “They go on dates. And you should’ve told me.” “They aren’t official, and it’s none of my business,” she replied, inspecting her nails. Josuke furrowed his eyebrows, “Wait, what?” Instead of responding, Okuyasu fished his phone out of his pocket, and opened up a text message before handing it off to Josuke, “It’s easier to just read it.” Clearly, it was something that was bothering his boyfriend; Josuke turned his eyes to a group chat titled DICKHEAD. Okuyasu: yooooo who wants to get wings with me tonight????? Okuyasu: keicho u gotta come with Big Bro💣: No. Okuyasu: well y the fuck not??? Big Bro💣: I’m busy. Okuyasu: too busy for ur little brother??? breakin my heart over here ;)n(; ☠Fungi☠: oku what the fuck is that face Okuyasu: ITS ME!!! IM SAD!!!! Okuyasu: bro what r u doin thats more important than eatin food ☠Fungi☠: yeah keicho, way to be transparent with your bros Big Bro💣: It’s none of your concern. Go eat gross shit with your boyfriend and don’t annoy me with it. :| A bunch of text messages were Okuyasu and Yuuya needling Keicho, with him responding with various ways of saying ‘shut the fuck up’, until Yukako spoke. YuYu Kakosho👊💥: He’s probably seeing that girl I caught him with back in March. Okuyasu: WHAT ☠Fungi☠: oh shit Toilet Hazmat🚽☣: kek Okuyasu: U DIDNT TELL ME??? Big Bro💣: Goddamn you, Yukako. You said you wouldn’t say anything.  YuYu Kakosho👊💥: I’m tired of having my phone blow up. Get it out of your systems now. ☠Fungi☠: you got a girlfriend, keicho?? Someone strike up the band Okuyasu: Y DIDNT U TELL US Big Bro💣: 1) She’s not my girlfriend, and 2) You two screaming is exactly why I didn’t. The rest of the messages were just Yuuya sending suggestive emojis and Keicho threatening to inflict violence upon his person. “Sooo, he’s seeing someone?” Josuke asked. Okuyasu scowled, “Yeah, that blonde-haired fuck. He didn’t tell me.” He sunk down in his chair, face sullen, “Why would he hide that from me?” “Because Keicho never tells anyone anything about his personal life,” Yukako interjected, face neutral. “I’m his brother—” She raised an eyebrow, “I’ve only known you people for three years, and I can see why Keicho Nijimura keeps everything close to the chest.” Koichi had busied himself with his phone, “Don’t take it to heart, he most likely has his reasons.” “Still, we’re all the only family we got left. I don’t wanna hear about things in his life from other people.” Yukako sighed exasperatedly, “If it makes you feel better, the only reason I know this is because I happened to see him with her at that coffee shop.” “What were they doing? What does she look like?” Josuke leaned in. He didn’t care about Keicho or his love life, but he sure did love hot gossip. “Talking. He had his hand on her arm, she was blushing and giggling. Typical flirting.” Yukako took a sip of Koichi’s tea, “She’s not like any of the other girls I’ve ever seen him with; no tattoos or piercings. Has long, curly brown hair, blue eyes, petite. I’d put her at about 5'2 or 5'3. Very pretty."  "Damn girl, you really have an eye for that kind of thing,” Josuke said thoughtfully, “How did he find out you knew and how did he buy your silence.” “Took a picture of them together, sent it to him later that night. Got a promise that he’d do me favors in exchange for me not repeating what I saw.” Josuke whistled, “Cold-blooded.” Yukako merely shrugged, “That’s the nature of the beast.” Okuyasu sighed, but said nothing. Josuke frowned a little at him, “Since you don’t really have plans, do you wanna get pizza with me and some of my family tonight?” Oku waved a hand, “Don’t need ya to take pity on me.” At that, Josuke rolled his eyes, “I’m not, I want you to come out with us. You gotta meet them anyways.” “Hmm…who’s gonna be there?” “Polnareff, his boyfriend, my nephew, his husband, and their daughter. Pol’s sister may be there too.” “…Does this place have wings?” “All you can eat.” Okuyasu smacked his hand on the table, grin replacing his scowl, “I’m sold.” “Good shit, I’ll let them know,” Josuke brushed his hand over the one Oku smacked down onto the table, “You’ll like 'em, they’re good people.” “Josuke,” Koichi interrupted, “I emailed the Calvin Klein people. They’re going to get in touch with us to schedule the shoot.” “C-Calvin Klein?” Okuyasu stuttered. “Yeah, doing another underwear ad campaign for them.” “O-oh. That’s…good…” Okuyasu’s face was blood red.  Before Josuke could ask what was up, a waiter sprang up to take their orders. Questions for another time.

Meeting at Pineapple Larry’s Pizzeria for dinner, followed by a couple hours at the arcade was a tradition that dated back ten years. Originally it had just been Polnareff, his boyfriend, Josuke’s nephew, and his now husband, but then grew to include Pol’s little sister, Josuke’s niece, and Josuke himself.  When he and Okuyasu breezed in, Josuke was in the process of warning him that his nephew was taciturn, his niece would bully him into playing Street Fighter II, and that everyone was great, save for the fact that they liked to put pineapple on their pizza. Josuke couldn’t give anymore heads up when his 5 year old niece went flying into his boyfriend’s arms. “Oku!!!"  "Hey, it’s my favorite bunhead!” Okuyasu caught her in a hug, “How you been, Jolyne Cuisine?” “Good!” “Uh, what?” Josuke asked, perplexed.  Jolyne waved at her uncle, “Hi, uncle Josuke!” Okuyasu did a double take, “Uncle?” She looked between the two of them, “Uncle Josuke, do you know Oku too??” “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend–” Jolyne gasped and hugged Okuyasu harder, “Really?? Wowie, that’s awesome!” She grinned, her front left tooth missing, “Now I’m gonna have two cool uncles.” Josuke felt his face go crimson, and was only mildly relieved when he saw the same color mirrored on Oku’s face. A man with flaming red hair, cherry earrings, and tattoos strolled up to them, “Jo, don’t choke him.” “'Kay, daddy! I’m gonna tell pops that Oku’s here!!” She hopped down, and took off towards the back of the restaurant.  “Sorry, Okuyasu,” Noriaki Kujo smiled, “You know how she can get.” “S'fine, I uh, didn’t know you guys were related?” Noriaki laughed, “Yeah, Josuke’s technically my uncle.” “What the fuck, dude, why didn’t you tell me you knew Oku??” Josuke asked incredulously. “Where would the fun be in that?” Noriaki responded with a toss of his singular hair curl. Josuke learned as they walked to the table that Okuyasu had been patronizing Hierophant Green, Noriaki’s tattoo parlor, for a long time. “He did me and Keicho’s memorial tattoos for our mom,” Okuyasu explained as they followed Jolyne to the back. “Not to mention all those cover-ups,” Noriaki shook his head, “Whoever allowed you two to get those monstrosities should be hanged.” Jotaro, Jolyne, and Polnareff were already at the table; Jotaro was reading through a thick stack of papers, but threw up a hand in acknowledgement that he was aware of their presence. “Bonsoir,” Polnareff greeted them, “Mo is running late, but he’ll be here soon,” his face turned into a grimace, “And my precious little sister will not be joining us today, as she has a date with some man she has yet to introduce me to.” Noriaki took his place beside Jotaro, “Is it the same one she’s been seeing all this time?” “Yes!” Polnareff groused, hands up in the air. “They aren’t even dating! She says it’s 'casual’ and 'non-exclusive’,” he used air quotes while talking. Josuke and Okuyasu sat down. “Not to change the subject or anything,” Josuke started, “But the fact that all of you have met Okuyasu before really took the wind out of my sails.” “He hasn’t met Av yet.” Jotaro pointed out, eyes not leaving his paper. “That is true,” Okuyasu said helpfully, “I ain’t met him yet.” He rubbed Josuke’s shoulder, “It’s all gravy.” Their orders were taken and well on their way on coming out before Avdol showed up. “Apologies,” he said, while kissing the top of Jolyne’s head, then Polnareff’s cheek, “Had a student with a crisis, but it’s all resolved now.” He turned his attention to Okuyasu, “And this must be the boyfriend I’ve heard so much about,” Avdol stuck a hand out, eyes twinkling, “Mohammed Avdol, pleased to make your acquaintance. Everyone calls me Mo or Avdol, so feel free to address me as either.” “Uh, likewise,” Okuyasu shook his hand nervously, “Polnareff talks about you alot.” Josuke snorted. That was the understatement of the century. Avdol elbowed Polnareff as he settled down beside him, “Hopefully you’ve heard nothing, but good things.” Polnareff was affronted, “Excusez-moi? I’ve done nothing, but sing your praises to everyone. Perhaps I should start revealing the truth.” “And what truths do you have to reveal, Jean?” “That you are mean to me, you insult me, you don’t appreciate anything I–” Jotaro rolled up his substantial pile of papers and started smacking Polnareff in the head, much to Jolyne’s amusement, “Shut up, no one cares.” The Frenchman would not be silenced, “Betrayed by my own flesh and blood!” “We aren’t related, jackass.” Thankfully, the pizzas and Oku’s wings picked the right time to come out.  Josuke made a face at the Pineapple Larry’s Pineapple Larry Special, which was a Hawaiian pizza. Which Josuke hated with an almost irrational passion, so he scarfed down his little margherita pizza (Oku tried the pineapple. Final verdict: pretty damn good). “Hey Oku, when’s ya birthday?” Jolyne asked between shoveling huge bites of pizza in her mouth. Okuyasu was on what was probably his 27th wing, “October 10th.” Josuke spat his drink all over Polnareff, who immediately started shrieking and ran off to the bathroom, “That’s literally two weeks away! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” “It never came up.” “We gotta throw ya a party,” Josuke whipped his phone out. “Nah nah, don’t worry about it,” Okuyasu put his hands up, “S'fine, dude.” Josuke rubbed his arm with one hand while texting with his other, “Don’t worry about it, we’ll get you and a bunch of other people shitfaced.” Okuyasu was about to protest, but Noriaki waved him down, “Might as well accept it, Okuyasu.” He stood up and stretched, “You guys ready to head to the arcade?” Jolyne hopped up and posed, “I’m ready!” Avdol followed suit, “I’ll go coax Jean out of the bathroom.” As Avdol walked away, Okuyasu leaned over to whisper in Josuke’s ear, “Hey, let’s go back to my place after we get done here.” “Sounds good, sunshine."  "Come on guys, I gotta beat you in Street Fighter!!” She started tugging on their shirt sleeves, “Losers have to buy ice cream!!” “You’re on, kid.” Josuke challanged.

“How the fuck did she get so good at Street Fighter?” Oku asked as he finished their shared joint, blowing the smoke into Josuke’s mouth. Josuke held it, then blew it out before answering, “Noriaki is a big nerd. He’s rubbed off on her.” “She’s five.” Josuke shrugged, “I beat Super Mario World when I was five.” They were sitting on a bench underneath a large open window facing out towards the back of Okuyasu’s apartment complex. The arcade trip had been a lot of fun, if you didn’t mind getting schooled at Street Fighter II by a 5 year old playing Blanka. This was the first time Josuke had been to Oku’s apartment in the entire time they’d know each other. It was nice, but didn’t feel like anyone lived in it. 'I hate being alone, so I go sleep in one of Keicho’s spare rooms, Yuuya’s couch, or with you. This place don’t really feel like home, ya know,’ had been Okuyasu’s explanation. The major upside to this place was that the Official Head Roadie and Weedman of Arrowhead, Hazamada, lived directly below Okuyasu. The two of them collaborated on a sick beat while pounding on the door to Hazamada’s apartment, inadvertently pummeling him in the face when he poked his head out to see who was knocking. Josuke almost pissed his pants from laughter; they got a shitty little joint, two middle fingers, and door slammed in their faces for their trouble.

When they lit up, Josuke straddled Oku’s lap and taught him how to shotgun smoke. It took a couple of tries, but eventually he got the hang of it. What followed was intense grinding and sloppy kisses. Josuke was very away of the problem poking at him, but was content with letting Oku twist in the wind for a bit. Then they fell into comfortable conversation, interrupted by the occasional tongue action. “Speaking of games,” Okuyasu stood up and stretched, his shoulders popping in a way that sounded painful, “let’s play something.” “What you got in mind?” “Hmm…” Okuyasu tapped his chin, “How about Metroid Prime 2? I never finished it.” He walked over to his entertainment stand, “I’ll get the Wii hooked up, could you go get my strategy guide for it?” “Why not just look up a FAQ for it?” Okuyasu kept his back turned to Josuke as he sat down to fiddle with the cords, “That guide’s got pictures. Sometimes reading a lot makes my head hurt, so they help.” Josuke nodded, but spoke when he remembered Okuyasu couldn’t see him, “That’s fair. Where is it?” “There’s a big box with "Books stuff” written on the side, filled with old magazines and shit in my spare room. It’s probably in there.“ Okuyasu’s spare room was were odds and ends went to die. The room was full of boxes and clutter that needed sifted through. At first, Josuke thought locating the box Okuyasu had indicated would be an impossible task, but miraculously, he was able to find it lickity-split. The box in question was filled with well-worn magazines and tattered strategy guides. It took a minute, but Josuke was able to find what he was looking for quickly. However, curiosity got the better of him, and he couldn’t help but sit on the floor, and peruse a few of the magazines. Guitar World, Kerrang!, Alternative Press, Rolling Stones; Okuyasu had quite the catalogue. There was a Rolling Stone in particular that, for whatever reason, drew him in. He picked it up and made to flip through it, but noticed that there were some pages stuck together. With care, Josuke peeled the pages apart to find his very first Calvin Klein underwear ad. The ad spanned two pages: one page featured him in nothing but briefs, biting his lip while staring into the camera, arms behind his head. The opposite page was more or less the same, except he had one hand on his chest, the other on a lollipop stick; his tongue peaked out of his open mouth, curled around the lollipop. The pages were covered in some residue. What the fuck did Oku spill on— he thought to himself, until a voice in his head interrupted. It’s semen. He masturbated to your undie ad. This was his spank bank. Josuke became very aware of how sweaty and red-faced he had become. Gently, he rose from the floor, guide and magazine in hand, and returned to the living room. "About time,” Okuyasu said, tongue slightly poking out of his mouth as he struggled to kill an Ing Warrior, “Was gonna go send a search and rescue party to find ya.” Josuke said nothing in response. Instead, he held up the spunk-covered pages, “I see you were a fan of my ad work.” Okuyasu’s face went on a journey from confusion to terrified. “Uhm…” he fidgeted nervously, already starting to sweat, “I can explain…” If he was about to explain it away, Josuke didn’t even give him a chance. He all but leapt onto Oku, shoving his tongue down his throat. A sloppy, heated makeout session ensued, with both of them groping at each other like a pack of horny teenagers. “You know,” Josuke panted, pulling away long enough to catch his breath, “We never cashed in that raincheck.” Before Okuyasu could respond, Josuke slid out of his lap, down in-between his knees. “I wanna make good on it,” Josuke rubbed the pronounced bulge in Okuyasu’s pants, “Can I suck you off, babe?” It seemed that Oku had been rendered completely speechless by that question. After a few seconds of processing what Josuke said, he could only manage to nod dumbly at his boyfriend. Josuke flashed him a wicked grin before pulling Oku’s basketball shorts and boxer briefs down in one go. A slight moan fell out of his mouth when he saw what awaited him. Okuyasu had a huge dick, and Josuke was delighted. It was long, thick, and throbbing; he couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. “Oh fuck, baby,” Josuke bit his lower lip. “Wh-what?” Oku found his voice again. Josuke glanced up at him, and found that his face was puce and covered in sweat. “You look tasty.” With that, Josuke swiped his tongue all the way down Oku’s shaft, pleased at the whimper it elicited from him. He wrapped his hand around Okuyasu’s cock, pumping it roughly, “Is this what you thought about when you jerked it to me? What my mouth would feel like? How I’d sound when I’d beg for your cock?”

“God, yes,” Okuyasu gasped, covering his ruddy face with his hands.

“No baby, look at me when I fuck you with my mouth.”

Okuyasu didn’t remove his hands, but he peaked at Josuke through his spread fingers, eyes wide. Good enough, Josuke thought to himself as he took Oku’s dick into his mouth. Unfortunately, Josuke wasn’t blessed enough to not have a gag reflex, but he made up for it by harshly jerking the inches of Okuyasu he couldn’t fit into his mouth.

Not that his boyfriend seemed to mind. He was too busy moaning and cursing as Josuke prayed at the altar that was his dong.

Either his succ game was too strong, Okuyasu hadn’t known the touch of another person upon his penis in a long time, or the fact it was just Josuke Higashi-goddamn-kata giving Oku’s dick the business, Okuyasu panted out, “I’m close,” after a few minutes.

Josuke pulled back off his dick, still working the shaft, “Where do you want to cum, beautiful?”

“Your mouth,” Okuyasu grunted, voice rough.

Josuke pressed his tongue against the head of Oku’s cock, “Be a good boy and fill my mouth up. Coat my tongue.”

The dirty talk sent Okuyasu over the edge; he let out a single “Fuck!” as he spent himself in Josuke’s mouth.

Hot cum glazed Josuke’s tongue. He waited patiently until Oku was done spurting before showing him the load, and then making a big show of swallowing it. Unable to help himself, Josuke licked the head of his cock clean, revealing in the shudders that he felt pass through Okuyasu and the winded expression on his face.

Josuke stood up, feeling triumphant, “I’m gonna get a soda. You want some water?” He didn’t bother to wait for a response, as he walked into the kitchen.

As he pulled out a can of soda, he was acutely aware of his own boner. It was a problem that needed to be taken care of, but he just sucked the soul out of Okuyasu through his dick, so Josuke felt that it might be poor form to demand a blowjob. Perhaps later—

He was brought out of his thoughts when he felt Okuyasu press up against him from behind, palming Josuke’s dick through his sweats, teeth on his neck. Unconsciously, Josuke hissed, arching his back into his boyfriend. “I’m not the kinda guy to leave someone hanging,” Okuyasu spoke into his ear, voice like sandpaper, “I’m gonna suck you off, angel. Turn around.”

Josuke didn’t need to be told twice. He spun around, pulling his dick out; Oku backed him up against the counter, before kneeling in front of him. As if hypnotized, Okuyasu gently wrapped his callused fingers around Josuke’s cock, slightly stroking. Josuke’s breath hitched at every stroke. After a couple of minutes he groaned, “You’re killing me, dude.”

“S-sorry,” Okuyasu whispered sheepishly, “Jus’ appreciating the view.” As if he was ravenous, he dove down onto Josuke’s cock, taking it all the way to the back of his throat in one go. “Jesus H. Christ, do you not have a gag reflex,” Josuke stuttered out, completely taken aback. He didn’t get a response, only a devilish look from his boyfriend.

Curling his fingers into Okuyasu’s unmade hair, Josuke just tried to enjoy the ride. He was unable to keep his hips still; the longer he felt Oku’s hot tongue or throat clamp around his cock, Josuke thrusted more and more into his mouth.

Okuyasu pulled his dick out of his mouth for a moment, “You can facefuck me if you want.”

“You sure?”

Yet again, he received a response in the form of a look and the feeling of Oku’s throat against the head of his dick.

Not one to deny such a polite request, Josuke snapped his hips, fucking Oku’s mouth. His eyes rolled up into the back of his head; he wondered if this is how he’d fuck Okuyasu’s ass eventually. The thought of it made Josuke’s inside clench, and he couldn’t stop himself from groaning out Okuyasu’s name over and over again while he shot jets of cum down his throat. If he wasn’t so spent, he would feel embarrassed how quickly he came, but goddamn did that feel good.

Okuyasu waited like a good boy until Josuke pulled out of his mouth before he swallowed and stood up. Both of them eyed each other with worn out expressions. Josuke was the first to break the silence, leaning over and softly kissing Okuyasu, who returned it, “Metroid?”

“Metroid.”

“You know, if I went back in time and told myself a year ago that Josuke Higashikata would suck my soul out through my dick, I’d whoop my own ass for being a liar.”

Josuke snorted, eyes trained on his phone’s screen as he organized Okuyasu’s birthday party, “I ain’t a succubus, Oku.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, demon.” Oku was brows were furrowed, trying to not die while fighting Quadraxis.

“So, you jerked it to that ad of me, like, pretty frequently?”

Okuyasu sighed, cheeks going pink, “Yeah. I bought that issue when I saw those pictures in there. It gave me a lot of inspiration.”

“Man, that really feeds my ego.”

“Don’t be getting a big head, Higashikata. It’s already massive.”

“Fuck you, there’s nothing wrong with my head!!”

Okuyasu cackled, which quickly turned into a groan of frustration as he was squished to death by Quadraxis, “Fuck this robotic piece of shit. I’m gonna go to his house and burn it down.”

“He lives in the game, you can’t do that.”

“I know, I know,” he rubbed his face, “Still wanna though.” He looked over at Josuke, “You know, you don’t gotta throw me a party.”

“I want to,” Josuke replied, “It’ll be a good time. I’m inviting cool people.” At the apprehensive look on Oku’s face, he continued, “All of them know about us, so no worries there. You’ve already met most of them, and my family will be there.”

“Okay, then that’s fine. I think. Jus’ make sure to invite Keicho and all them too.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” Josuke said soothingly, “This will be a lot of fun, I promise. Nothing bad will happen.”

He hoped that his promise would ring true.

[beatmyaudio]

Always On Time Song Lyrics – Ja Rule Featuring Ashanti

Always On Time Song Lyrics

Always On Time Song Lyrics From Popular Hollywood Artist Ja Rule Featuring Ashanti from Album.

This song is sung by singer ” Ja Rule Featuring Ashanti ” in Year 2002.

Lyrics of Always On Time :

always there when you call buckshots hah always on time gave you my baby be mine always there when you call always on time gave you my babybaby im not always there when you call but im always on time and i gave you my all now baby be mine im not always there when you call but im always on time and i gave you my all now baby be minecome on and get a piece of this latenight lover you know the one that swing dick like no other shit i know i got a lot of things i need to explain but baby you know the name and love is about pain so stop the complaints and drop the order restraints our sex lifes a game so back me down in the paint cause i cant wait no more cause its about a quarterpast three and shortys eyein me i got the bentley valeted and im just outside of jersey past the palisades and i love to see that ass in boots and shades sprawled out on the bed while im yankin your braids thug style you never thought id make you smile while im smackin your ass and fuckin you all wild but we share somethin so rare but who cares you carebaby im not always there when you call but im always on time and i gave you my all now baby be mine im not always there when you call but im always on time and i gave you my all now baby be minegirl get a grip come on pull it together its only a sun shower we been through worse weather like the stormy nights you wrote a dear ja letter and took my benz and keyed and cut the leather bitch you know better we live mob money over bitches murder inc i got two or three hoes for every v and i keep em drugged up off that ecstasy im a playground legend like kirkland peewee name a nigga in the league got more game than me i play hard theres so many women i fathered meet em with scars and send em home hot and bothered truth or dare this life aint apparently fair and a love with no glare is a crystal stare but we share somethin so rare but who cares you carebaby im not always there when you call but im always on time and i gave you my all now baby be mine im not always there when you call but im always on time and i gave you my all now baby be mineoh im feelin like ya livin a double life cause you dont be comin home sometimes baby but youre always on time checkin for one time you and i got a special bond together we go back like bombers boo in the coldest weather and when i play you play the same way you freak me baby i fuck you crazy then im gone baby dont really want me to get up and leave off that easy shell be wakin up wet for sheezy remind these bitches to mind they business believe me this pimp game is very religious and im built like the don bishop gon keep this moneygreen benz and my hoes as my witness the life we share is a thug affair but who cares you carebaby im not always there when you call but im always on time and i gave you my all now baby be mine im not always there when you call but im always on time and i gave you my all now baby be minealways there when you call always on time gave you my baby be mine always there when you call always on time gave you my baby be minehere at wiz we play nothing but the hits nothing but the hits nothing but the muthafuckin hits

Always On Time Song Lyrics

Youtube Channel Link

Lyrics, Always On Time, Edit, English, Hollywood, Ja Rule Featuring Ashanti from WordPress https://ift.tt/2N6BE6Q via IFTTT

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: are you done w him yet cos i have a question like Rio: Sorry Rio: Fire away Indie: serious how do i make it that good Indie: without meshing mckenna Rio: Honestly? You just find out with experience, what you do and don't like, then you have to ask for that Rio: then you ask them what they like and if they know you can do it Rio: most lads your age haven't got a clue but are easily pleased so Indie: 😒💔😒💔 Indie: not what I was hoping youd hit me w Indie: I dont have experience & he does Rio: Soz, if this was Cosmo I'd give you some weird ass tips involving household items but I ain't gonna do you like that Rio: You can get experience with yourself Indie: thats such a ma answer 😂 Rio: It's true tho babe 😂 Rio: Why, didn't you like it? Indie: i was shook i still am Rio: 'Course you were Rio: It's a big deal Indie: not too any other heads in these endz just this bitch here being cringe bout it Rio: Nah, people always lie about that shit Rio: whether it's under or over hyping Indie: we got both cos im amp and hes not bothered is that just how its destined or Rio: How you know that for sure? Indie: 👀 & 👂 Rio: There's so many answers that ain't that still though Rio: 'less I'm missing something Rio: he could be playing it cool 'cos he's as hyped, for example Rio: or just fucking hungover 'cos you know, ain't we all a bit Indie: nah cos last night isnt the only Rio: What you mean? Indie: since i gave him everything now he dont want it Indie: thats how it goes Indie: talking at new ones and bout his olds and how they be like im not there Rio: What a prick Rio: That's not on Indie: cos he dont wanna roll w no tourist which is how i am to this Rio: Nah, don't get it twisted, he don't wanna roll, period Rio: playing a numbers game like a typical teenage boy who's spent too much time alone in his room 🎮👌🍆 Rio: this isn't anything you did or didn't do, fuck that noise Indie: yeah cos i made the chase sick but then couldnt come through how he needed beyond that Indie: just school me and then Rio: Babe Rio: If he don't fuck with loyalty then he don't, that's on him not you Rio: doesn't mean you weren't good and even if you weren't, fuck getting better for a wasteman who ain't trying for you how you need it Indie: its what drew reckons too it aint just me chatting Indie: help me step my game up thats how you do Indie: he was with his previous for time i can make me stay for me too like Rio: What does he know, like Rio: I mean I can show you some things, yeah, but you gotta feel it and feel yourself, you know Indie: hes a lad & he knows the game, how they think & do idk he was on it with what he was saying i felt it Rio: You wanna get on a lad like your Dad Rio: they ain't all the same Indie: cos you landed mckenna & you outta that madness Indie: theyre the same for me Rio: I ain't saying a lot of 'em aren't shit, but like Rio: what about lads like your mates, they're all alright Rio: it ain't one extreme or the other Indie: to roll with if i was trying to link em theyd doing it exactly Indie: rudeboys my age want they want & get it how they do Rio: alright but idc 'bout them Rio: what do YOU want, Inds? Indie: I want him to feel for me how i do for him Indie: like he can do anything to me and wants to Rio: You reckon boys your age get it how they do Rio: so do like them Rio: how'd a fuckboy get your attention? Indie: it aint gonna go that way Indie: he scares me Indie: theres no power in it for me Rio: What scares you about it? Indie: im fallin all the time Indie: its deep and its heavy and its a total madness Rio: Oh baby Rio: If I had the answer to that shit, I'd be selling it for the 💸 and good of us all Indie: he makes me feel owned not like 💍 but 🤡 Indie: i cant do for him anything Indie: boys dont play me i play them 'cept now Rio: That is scary, no avoiding it Rio: Best you can do is front the bad bitch still, even when you ain't feeling it Indie: id let him put a baby in me when were olders and living that and he cant turn from edie for me Indie: what is that gonna be Indie: im just like my ma arent I Rio: Don't say it like a bad thing, your Ma was awesome Indie: nah Rio: She was though Indie: your ma can front it cos she got love for her Indie: if she was she'd be here Rio: nah, she don't get to be reduced to just how she died when her life was more than that Indie: she let him run her & i was never trying to be that but this is me younger and letting a boy play me Rio: You aren't that Rio: and I won't let that play out like that Indie: im over having my own back innit i wanted him to carry Rio: ain't a crime Rio: you got so many of us though, even if a boy does you dirty Rio: you ain't alone Indie: i feel it today Rio: I'm sorry Rio: Do you want to go somewhere with me Rio: I can get rid of Buster but I can't hang with Drew all day getting high, that's all Indie: idc bout mckenna but I want Drew to go Indie: theres a vibe Rio: We'll get rid of him Rio: or duck out home, he can sit here himself if he likes Indie: do you feel it or am i that faded on this 🚬 Rio: Nah, I do Rio: sure we didn't help, sorry again Indie: it's chill Indie: i would if i could Rio: gimme a sec to get decent and we'll bounce Indie: has he hated mckenna proper since the start or is it just since you two started riding each other? Rio: idk what else his reasoning would be tbh Rio: say what you like, he ain't that bad Indie: but he aint your hot half bro Indie: makes no sense Indie: you two can link up if you want Rio: you'd have to ask him, babe, but i wouldn't bother Rio: taking the moral highground on this one, i guess, idc Indie: is caleb home? he needs to cook for me cos mckenna is lax at providing Indie: that breakfast was dred Rio: i'll bell ahead and see if not we'll swing by the restaurant init Rio: did he try and make you eat something healthy? 😂 Indie: safe Indie: shouldve known not to trust a posh boy innit Indie: sneaky greens up in everything like Rio: gotta get those vitamins babe Rio: how cute Indie: youre so whipped for him i cant be listening to none of your words 😂 Rio: Shh 😜 Indie: tell yourself Indie: but nah cos its well too late Indie: 👀 & 👂 man Rio: Erm you keep them 👀 down, I know that door was closed Indie: you two are so amp for each other you aint always keepin it behind em Rio: I know, but it's hard 😩😂 Rio: Honestly, the fact only you and Drew know has me worried for this fam and their senses, like Indie: 😉😉 hes hard is how you mean Indie: standard Indie: might be a tourist still but i aint bait Rio: Don't be nasty 😏 Indie: tell him Indie: that boy so horny for you its a pure madness Rio: you been knew i'm peng gurl come on Indie: making me shook about myself Indie: its rude Rio: 💔 Rio: you ain't gotta be like me Indie: gurl please im not gonna seckle for less than Indie: youre goals Indie: 🔥🔥🔥 Rio: you're a babe Rio: need you about, only one Indie, like Rio: Mum enough for you? Indie: 😂 Indie: does that make mckenna my new daddy 😉 Rio: Watch it 😉 Indie: ✌ thats a yeah if i heard one ever Indie: ill get his take on my 🍒💔 Indie: but not over food like Rio: It's a gonna be a bit weird for us all if we both call him that but not trying to give you incentive biatch 😜 Rio: probably not in front of my actual da either, unless you want his input too Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: I aint trying to call nobody that Rio: Fair Rio: Can whack it out when you wanna throw subtle shade Indie: innit Indie: marko can dash me fore that word comes outta my mouth Rio: Deffo, you don't need to be on that hype Indie: he called me baby the other day boy please im grown Indie: stop playing Rio: 😂 Rio: See, boy got no clue Indie: him on that shelta and me on my 🍀 aint no wonder we got crossed wires bitch Rio: Sometimes it's better when you ain't know what they 🗣 Rio: Done that, or pretended I ain't fluent like 👋 Indie: innit tho Indie: me on your fams hype like im from there too sometimes Rio: Multilingual and ready to mingle 💃 Indie: bit late to switch that with him but Rio: You know, babe Rio: how you think I got stuck with him 🙄 nightmare, like Indie: fix my face? i gotta be fresh for all the 📷 imma lure this boy back w Indie: a bitch knows how to take a nude least Rio: 'Course Rio: but you best not be putting your face in no nudes Rio: you need denialabilty for so many reasons, main one being its technically CP Indie: no shit my face is for all the snaps to show what a sick time im having Indie: not missing him at all Indie: the nudes are for when he remembers hes missing me Rio: That's allowed then Rio: 👍 Rio: Proceed Indie: i gotta say if tho cos hes still giving me the most air ever Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: You're gonna fake it so hard you'll actually get there, trust Indie: last nite was so bangin til she fucked it up for me Rio: I know, babe Indie: do you reckon he wouldve Indie: with her Rio: Nah Rio: I mean, idk the lad and he sounds like a bit of a twat but Rio: sure he ain't gonna do you like that Indie: shes got ways tho Rio: She just ain't afraid of anything Rio: it works in her favour sometimes, other times it don't Indie: im not scared of no thing either Rio: 'Course Rio: but you know Rio: Edie not in a good way Indie: yeah Indie: on the subject drew wont go Indie: aint about leaving him here around all our shit but not trying to stay Indie: reckons he needs to chat at you Rio: Right Rio: I'm coming 🙄 ffs man Indie: is mckenna coming home w us? Rio: Up to you, babe Indie: it aint vexing or hyping me either way Indie: if he wants to be schooled for what proper food is Rio: 😂 he's swearing down it was Nance's fault but idk Rio: either way, we got a date so I gotta kick Drew to the curb Indie: standard she does eat how a 🐰 do Indie: he aint done me dirty fore so daddy can have another shot at winning me Rio: I'll let him know, in roughly those words 😏 Indie: tell the boy he gotta get in my snaps 👌 Indie: make me 👑💖 Rio: Gurl, it's literally still a sore subject but we will brawl s2g 😂 Indie: jam mama Indie: not trying to co-ord these bruises Rio: 😘 Rio: Stay 'way from him fr then you get me 👀 Indie: he's just a peng piece of staging Indie: not trying to ride it Rio: s'all 💕 up in here Rio: will be when we've 👋 anyway Indie: i wanna get done again now im 🍒 popped but he can chill on it Indie: not my speed Indie: and I'm too 😍😍😍 Rio: You a fool Rio: but I love ya Indie: you've been chatting at the old man for long Indie: come through w you Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 🙄 no need to tell me, he's in a chatting mood Rio: aight Rio: coming