#FUCK DRAKE IM GLAD THIS IS HAPPENING TO HIM

[analogboii]

as someone who has hated drake for a long time, i am LIVING for kendrick dragging him rn. he was LOCKED and LOADED. thirty minute response time IS INSANE. he on that next level shit fr. i dont even listen to kendrick but damn that man chewed him up and spit him out. he left NO crumbs

[petite-phthora]

Do you think it was a date?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 5]

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Part 1

Ao3

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In-chat nicknames:

Daniel = Danny

Sharpshooter = Jazz

TooFine= Tucker

Chaos = Sam

TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie

---

Private chat nicknames:

Bill = Danny

Pants = Jazz

---

As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.

He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???

At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.

As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.

Uh oh.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Chaos: Guys check this out

Chaos: *link*

Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him

TooFine: @Daniel 👀

TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning

Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?

Sharpshooter: @Daniel

Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.

TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀

Sharpshooter: Tucker.

TooFine: 🤐

---

Danny takes a deep breath.

Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.

---

Private chat

Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?

Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: would you also still love me if I

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: accidentally

Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: kidnap and or kill me??

Bill: 🥺🥺🙏

Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?

Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺

Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.

Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘

Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣

Pants: Danny, what happened?

---

Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.

---

Pants: Oh Danny.

Bill: are you mad at me?

Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.

Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.

Bill: 🥰💞😘

---

With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Daniel: you know

Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡

Daniel: I’d have two nickels

Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔

Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues

TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes

TooFine: so not even a full week yet

Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?

Chaos: Danny?

TooFine: @Daniel ???

TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad

Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃

TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan

Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?

TooFine: already done

Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫

Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏

Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?

TooFine: deal.

Daniel: 🥳🎉

Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night

Daniel: around some place named park row??

Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔

Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley

Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷

TooTine: aye aye captain o7

Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley

Daniel: stop bullying me 😠

Chaos: No

TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described

TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all

Daniel: oh!

Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊

Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?

TooFine: the joker????

Daniel: oh no not the Joker

Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  

Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣

Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞

TooFine: def green flag

Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper

Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!

Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭

Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓

Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown

Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰

TooFine: f

Chaos: f

Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?

Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here

Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped

Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet

Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of

Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊

TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??

Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker

Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble

Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔

Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺

Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩

Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?

Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?

Daniel: well I didn’t tell him

Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷

Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner

Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli

Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance

Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰

Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?

Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before

Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️

Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home

Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!

TooFine: nice dude!

Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?

Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭

Sharpshooter: Danny…

Daniel: yes?

Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?

Chaos: How do you not even know his name?

Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13

Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠

Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?

Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger

Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something

Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔

TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??

Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?

Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳

Daniel: I wasn’t sure

Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before

Daniel: but then again

Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔

Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..

Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣

Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.

Sharpshooter: Who was it?

Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰

TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz

Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!

TooFine: former, actually

Daniel: what he said ^^

Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?

Daniel: stop bullying me

TooFine: never

Chaos: Never

Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?

Sharpshooter: Ellie did.

Chaos: Ellie

TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel

TheCoolerDaniel: 😎

TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀

---

Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):

@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard

[justallihere]

THE WAY YOU JUST DROPPED THE NEWEST CHAPTER OUT OF NOWHERE?????? EXCUSE ME ???? I was literally bored out of my mind and ignoring work responsibilities and then you dropped this? It was divine intervention.

so many thoughts so please bear with me

I appreciate how succinctly you wrapped up the Tecarus/luminary conversation. We don't need to spend unnecessary time reading more about him and his annoying niece (Cat not Syrena)

Drake fucking with Xaden has got to happen more often. I have this plot in my head, that Drake will just be "innocently" talking with Vi, and Vi knows what Drake is doing but plays along with it bc it annoys Xaden. Drake feels like that annoying older brother that just wants to fuck with the younger siblings in a good-natured way

Love me some DrakexMira moments... or well Drake staring at Mira and her not giving him the time of day. That's one of my favorite tropes ngl.

Xaden is so open and free with his smiles around Vi and I am equal parts disgusted and happy for him. I love and hate them your honor!!!!

IM SO GLAD WE GOT A SLOANE/DAIN MOMENT. Ngl I forgot abt them but when I read that part, I remembered the bit that didn't make it where Sloane was ogling Dain fighting Cam. man has a TYPE!!!! Poor guy likes her and Sloane is being a bit of a tsundere (idk if you know that term but she's being hot/cold)

I'm imagining the affronted/scandalized look on Vi's face when Xaden didn't share the tea about Dain+Sloane, meanwhile, Xaden just wants to kiss the shit out of her. I HATE THEM SO MUCH

Question: Did they have to imbue the wardstone like they did in canon, or was this assumed that it happened in the background (correct me if I'm wrong about my canon knowledge 💀)

Let me tell you, when I was screaming at poor Vi in canon when she skipped around in Warrick/Lyra's journals (I don't blame her, shes like what 21??? and stressed out her mind and everyone is also like in their early 21s) BUT I'm glad that in SITQ she started from the beginning.

The way I audibly GASPED when the guard was like "your mother is here". I was literally thinking a minute before, when the venin was threatening Violet, that theyre going to use her mother to lure her out (not that, that isn't in the realm of possibility) but I was worried for Liilth's health and safety after that threat. BUT MAMA SORRENGAIL IS BACK AND IM HERE FOR THE DRAMA.

I have this fear that Violet is going to potentially pull from the earth to save everyone.... bc that threat from the venin was ominous as HELL, but like that won't happen right?? right???????? RIGHT ALLI????

Questions

So like are we going to see Jack and Nolon make a comeback??? Bc fuck those two but if its for the plot then I guessss I can deal with it (i say this with uptmost respect and lets be real here. I will still eat up anything you post, I'm just being nosey)

are Mira and Bren going to make up? or is that like a background thing?

also will we see more of Mira and Drake (sorry i feel like im being extra nosey this time so just ignore these questions)

I gave a few hour warning this time!! I’ve been editing it for a week and I was over it lmao

Tecarus was a necessary evil for, like, one second, but Violet got what she needed and she wasn’t going to spend extra time entertaining him. And I wasn’t going to spend time writing drama with the fliers 😌

Drake is so FUNNY I love him, he’s an OC basically but if he ends up different in canon than I’ve imagined him I’m going to be irrationally upset. He’s just like “Xaden lighten up dude” and Xaden is going “please don’t ever look at my wife ever again” and Vi thinks it’s hilarious.

Mira has more thoughts about him than she lets on though 🙊 like she notices his attention for SURE

Sloane and Dain are so much fun (everyone say thank you @skyfallscotland for putting the idea in my head). Can’t wait to write more of them!! Violet is so offended though, like this is information she wanted to know?? And Xaden’s like it serves zero purpose?? Let her gossip idk

Re: imbuing yeah yeah that’s a thing for sure in canon, but I need sleep and a beta reader sooooo. . . pretend it happened at some point, I’ll go back later and add something in about that lmao 😁👍🏻

Lilith is back!!!! I have been waiting for Lilith to be back 😩 family drama next chapter, pray for Violet’s sanity. The venin are venin-ing, we gotta up the stakes a lil because we’re almost to the end

Nolon and Jack and their roles are still a bit up in the air, I’m still working out the specifics of what they’ll do. Mira & Brennan and Mira & Drake are also a toss up, but only because I want to write another one shot in this universe from Mira’s POV and I’m trying to decide what will make it on page in sitq and what I’ll save for that

Thank you as always babe!!!

[badtzbot]

sigh. go on then. drake.

i knew you cared about me....

How I feel about this character

my emotions about him are generally divided into 5 categories:

lust - not gonna get into it too much because this is tumblr not twt but uhhhh. he's 7 foot 8 inches. he's a dinosaur zoan.... he has a hybrid form. he has really good tits thighs and ass. all i'm saying is that i need him carnally

sobbing emojis - HIS FUCKING BACKSTORY OMFG. GODS. literally IM DEAD. i hope diez barrels is put through hell two billion times. i have extended headcanons about his time as an abused kid. i'm so so happy he was rescued. i can't believe he was nineteen there he was so small. im so glad that he's grown up now and (probably at least somewhat) recovered. i need the barrels pirates to be executed.

need to coddle him - i need to make him take a week off where he does nothing but experience joy. i want him to get over his trauma. i'm booking him a therapy session. im spooning him and washing his hair until he cries because he's never felt intimacy like that. i need him to be happy

need to bully him - his name is so stupid. "x drake" but it's pronounced "diez drake." he's a huge nerd about reptiles and ASTROPHYSICS. he's so large and so pathetic. he's a huge dweeb. he blushes and faints easily. he's weak to boobs. he's like if a mommas boy didnt have a momma. sengoku adopted him and he defected from the main marine force. he went undercover as a pirate and trafalgar clocked him in 0.2 secs as a narc. his pirate outfit is all leather which is both very distracting to me and very difficult to move in. he dual wields weapons that aren't normally dual wielded. his hair is the stupidest thing i've ever seen. he's a ginger. what is up with that weird ass pirate mask. his ship is literally just a painted over marine ship. i can't believe this guy he's such a dweeb

overwhelming love - i love him so much he's sweetie cutie of all time. i love him. he's 7'8. he's a dinosaur man. he faints when he sees boobs. i have only one figure and it's of him. he has such a strong moral compass. he's head of sword. he believes in real justice. he loves chicken and he hates eggs. he has two different birthdays. in the real world he would be a zookeeper. i LOVE HIM SO MUCH

he is my most specialest guy of all time.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

smoker, mostly. koby a little

My non-romantic OTP for this character

his relationship with the rest of SWORD in general is so cute. also putting drake and paulie in a room together has a lot of comedic potential because why are they Like That.

My unpopular opinion about this character

idk what the popular opinions about him are. that hes ugly? i agree tho he is a little bit ugly. but i still love him. ummmmm idk. the unpopular opinion is that i like him at all

oh also not a fan of drake and law? idk i just don't think law would fuck marines. except for One of them

also i don't think he's a daddy dom. he's my pathetic little princess

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

can i just get more of him in general. can we leave one piece and go to "life of diez drake" instead. that would be really good for me

[ishikawayukis]

fr anxiety has been a little shit but I think I’m managing lately, could definitely be worse lol but I’m glad you’re doing better!! :’)

es que a veces la gente realmente me sorprende con lo ciega que decide estar JAJAJAJAJAJA literal en wano mostraron tantos momentos que te demuestran cuánto realmente se aprecian y respetan pero la gente solo se fija en “okay pero quién es más fuerte porque entonces el otro no sirve” kskfbekfj??!!? I’m so done with these people I might throw hands one day lol

JAJAJAJAJAJA por un momento me sentí mal pero luego recordé “la verdad es que me tomó casi un año creo que si logré controlarme” JAJAJAJA ALSO THE FREAKING DRUMS DAMMITTTT🗣️‼️‼️‼️ yo sabía que en wano tenía que aparecer gear 5 y pues por los fanarts me imaginé que Joyboy era el nombre como Snakeman or whatever PERO CUANDO LLEGA ZUNESHA Y DICE “I can hear them, it’s been so long” o algo así yo dije juepuya hoy si JAJAJAJAJAJA that was truly amazing I loved it, the animation was *chef’s kiss* literal volví a ver ese momento como unas tres veces porque amo la animación de g5🫶🏽 pero si Luffy el mc ideal, nadie más tonto e inteligente que él JAJAJA

istg it is a challenge to ignore them and remind yourself that they’re literally not understanding the plot or the characters at all, pero la recompensa es de vez en cuando ver teorías locas y reírte porque no, no va a pasar pero que matado de risa que esta fue su conclusión amigos JAJAJAJAJ Franky is the best I sweaaaar necesito más momentos de Franky, Soul King, Jinbe, idk I have a soft spot and respect for all the over 30 strawhats they are everything🫶🏽

si cuando volví a ver ese primer episodio de thriller bark y Luffy de una invitando a Brook sin saber nada de él me mató de risa otra vez JAJAJAJAJAJA like I remember I did find everything funny and nonsensical as always, pero volverlo a ver me dio más risa porque es recordar que Luffy solo viene por las vibes y la verdad es lo que deberíamos de hacer, vivir la vida y disfrutarla sin tener que tomarla en serio 24/7

YES YES YES LITERALLY THE MAGIC GIRL TREATMENT🫶🏽✨ amé ese momento tanto y efectivamente le sigue cuando Hawkins y Drake lo ven e inmediatamente “bro is that THE stealth black??? IM FIGHTING STEALTH BLACK??✨” JAJAJAJAJAJAAJ los verdaderos fanboys, Oda por favor dame más momentos así JAJAJAJA Y SI AAAAAAAA cuando Sanji empezó a tener su breakdown yo literal queriendo que cualquiera apareciera y le diera una cachetada y luego un abrazo porque no, ya establecimos que te queremos por ser tú ya BASTA JAJAJAJA más con la promesa que hizo con Zoro ay no, yo asumí que concluyeron que ya no bc I want to be delusional and happy that nothing bad is going to happen JABJAJAJ más que le dice “I came back from hell to kill you” OKAY??? JUST FOR HIM THO?????? cómo ser Sanji para que Zoro regrese de la muerte por mí la verdad 😔✌🏽 JAJAJAJAJAJ

if you end up throwing hands please let me know so that i can join you LMAO

casi un año es lo normal diría yo AJJAJA i just went a little insane and had a lot of free time and didn't want to Think LMAO the gear5 animation is honestly the best fucking thing and soooooo so luffy too, and can you believe once again that the dudebros hate it because it's "too goofy and not serious enough" like my guys pLEASE none of you are allowed to watch this show anymore

i just knoooooooow franky, brook, jinbe and robin all have a little 30+ group that no one else is allowed to join where they rest from their captain's nonsense and zosan constant fighting for a little while LMAO

literally oda give us more silly moments and my life is yours LMAO noooooo esq esa promesa y zoro literal diciendo volví sólo por ti? i know what you are 👁👁 but also soooo many people do think is gonna end up happening and i'm like hey man why do you love pain, why are you like this who hurt you man

[inkskxtch]

what do you think about howard and orc?

I love orc so much i genuinely think hes a great guy. Before I started rereading the books I remembered I used to like him a lot, but then when I read Gone again i couldnt stand him i thought he was awful skdjsk but now that im up to Light i love him again and im glad hes redeemed himself, yeah he fucked up a bunch but this dude has no malicious intent. Still haven’t been able to reread Light but I know what’s gonna happen so. cant wait to cry :,)

I thought him turning to Christianity near the end of the series was a little random but at the same time he’s always looked up to Astrid a lot so it kinda does make sense? especially since astrid was never open about her struggle with losing her own faith during the fayz

Same kinda goes for Howard, i didnt really like him at the start but I did like him a lot more leading up to Fear and i did get kinda sad when drake killed him just cause nobody else seemed to care except orc😭😭

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[vhs-ghost]

Opinions on Ducktales (2017) Villains:

(im adding a Keep Reading because its very long lol)

Overarching Season Villains:

Magica: she was an amazing villain in season 1 imo. The whole Lena thing, how she was controlling her, it was great. The shadow war was pretty good. She was also funny and I enjoyed her interactions with Scrooge and all. After her defeat tho, she was hella annoying. She also looks better green. She peaked in season 1. Phantom and The Sorceress was like one of my least favorite episodes.

Lunaris: so I hate the moon plot so FUCKING much. However, I did find Lunaris to be a great villain. I am naive and trusting, so the twist got me (Lance Reddick also played Broyles on Fringe and so I would have trusted him with my life. Therefore, I did not expect him to be evil). I thought was very threatening as a villain as well. I just hate. The. Moon. Plot.

F.O.W.L: they were extremely interesting at first and now I’m just bored. Hope something neat happens tho. They were discovered too easily. Black Heron: amazing design. Definitely chaotic evil. Interesting. Bradford: enjoyed the twist villain aspect. Interesting character. The definition of lawful evil.

Other Villains:

Mark Beaks: they should have leaned more into crazy rather than cringey. He was legitimately threatening once upon a time. Now he’s just annoying as hell.

Glomgold: funny. Love his rivalry with Scrooge. The scene at Scrooge’s “funeral” will forever be the funniest Ducktales scene.

Don Carnage: I never watched Talespin, so he’s not nostalgic for me. He’s kinda funny. His first episode was entertaining. I love that he hates Dewey. I could take him or leave him tho.

Ma Beagle: absolutely annoying. Hate anytime she or the beagle boys are in an episode.

Doofus Drake: what a creepy fucking child. Keep him away from all people (especially Louie) and get him some fucking therapy PLEASE.

Rockerduck: I remember so little about him. I just remember him being annoying and weird.

Zeus: he’s just a dick. His children are the sweetest, tho.

Darkwing Villains:

Jim/Negaduck: he was so threatening. That episode is what got me to watch Darkwing Duck in the first place and I have to say I was disappointed that his character in the original show didn’t have as interesting of a backstory as this Negaduck. “They want grim and gritty huh? Happy to play the part,” and then his LOOK at the CAMERA with his CRAZY FUCKING EYES??? 1000000/10. I’m disappointed he just stayed in the sewers for the whole series and we’ll never see him again. Wasted potential.

Steelbeak: annoyingly stupid at times. But his design SLAPS. His voice is good. I prefer this voice for him (and this VA is know for playing rather strange characters) and like I love Rob Paulson but his og Steelbeak voice was annoying. I didn’t actually watch many og Darkwing episodes with Steelbeak so I don’t feel cheated by his character or anything.

Taurus Bulba: really interesting and innovative character choice for him in Ducktales. I preferred everything about him in this one to his Darkwing counterpart. I wasn’t even sure he’d still be a villain, that’s how good it was. Just good takes all around.

The Fearsome Four: I wish they had stayed in St. Canard. Who are Drake, LP, and Gos even fighting??? Splatter Phoenix?? Anyway, I was SO happy to see my boys. Quackerjack: my favorite. He looked the same, had the same VA, and got a lot of screen time. I can’t complain at all. Liquidator: I don’t know why they made him like buff in this one. Made him look weird. I also missed the watery effect behind his voice. Still had great salesperson lines. Megavolt: had good lines. Sounded the same but I know it wasn’t the same VA. Translated well to the Ducktales style. Bushroot: they did him SO dirty with his look being inspired by Twin Beaks. I know his VA passed but like, they really did Dr. Reginald Bushroot dirty. Tho I’m glad his backstory was at least talked about.

[nike-shawn]

Bad Boy, Part I

A/N: for those who have been following me for a while and have waited actual years for this series... here ya go. 

Have ideas or questions for this AU? Tell me

i. 

Your heart is pounding so hard you can hear it as you scramble to throw Shawn’s belongings into any suitcase, backpack or grocery bag you can find, gathering it all in a heap and not bothering to even flatten it down before zipping the luggage and moving on to the next thing. Tears are streaming down your face and all you can do is sob, sob, sob, as you hear the sirens get closer. Your hands shake with the terrible tremors that come with nerves, so you struggle to even pick things up properly.

Shawn is sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at the wall. He has nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants on and his hair is still messy from sleep. You choke a little on your tears as you say, “help me!” No response. You throw one of his shoes at his back to get his attention. “Fucking help me!”

No response.

You can’t keep your cries quiet anymore as you throw the packed suitcase at his feet and shove a backpack into his hands. “Just take it,” you tell him desperately, “take it and leave right now Shawn.” He doesn’t move. You shake him by the shoulders, though your hands are trembling so bad it barely moves him at all. “Leave!”

He starts to shake his head. “It’s not worth it.”

“Fuck that!” you scream, tugging on his hand. He doesn’t stand, doesn’t even shift from his spot on the edge of the mattress. You can feel yourself absolutely falling apart. You suddenly feel so tired, like you’ve given everything you could possibly give and this was it. This is the end of it.

Sobs ripping through your body, you slump over against the wall in front of him, trying with everything in you to just catch your breath so you can tell him the things you’ve always wanted to tell him. You keep thinking about whether you’d ever get to say anything to him again. You’re thinking about a trial, about handcuffs, about jail-cells, about—

Shawn’s hand rests lightly on your head. His fingertips tangle in your hair. “I’ll be fine,” he says, but you can tell from the tone of his voice that he doesn’t even believe himself.

It makes you mad, the way he’s just letting this happen, as if he doesn’t have options. Your throat hurts from the constant pressure of your grief. You’re shaky, dejected, tired.

And when Shawn gets up and walks towards the sirens, you don’t let yourself follow.

You curl in on yourself, your fingertips digging so deeply into your calves that you can already feel bruises forming, and you keep yourself there.

There’s shouting and sirens and everything else but you keep yourself there.

Until a gunshot rings through the house.

***

You’re newly 19.

Shawn slides a cupcake across the card-table to you. It has a single pink candle in the middle, sunk down in the cake, wax already gathering at the very top. You push your hair behind your ears and close your eyes, a smile hinting at the edges of your lips, and you wish against all hope that you pass your final tomorrow morning. And then, as a slight afterthought, wish that you and Shawn stay together for a while.

You blow out the candle. Shawn waves away the smoke as not to alert the easily spooked dorm fire alarms and leans down to put a light kiss on your lips. As you start to pull away, he grips your shoulders and pulls you back in, slipping his tongue between yours.

“Happy birthday, Doll,” he says against your lips. “Here’s to many, many more with you.” He punctuates each ‘many’ with another peck to your pout, then pulls away with a smile. He takes up his original spot in the folding chair across from you and waves to the uneaten cupcake. “Go ahead. It’s all yours.”

“It’s got peanut butter in it,” you tell him.

He raises his eyebrows. “Right…”

You lean forward a bit, hinting that you’re looking for something more. The poor boy looks at you with the blankest stare. “I’m allergic to peanuts.”

“Oh, f*ck,” he mutters, immediately jumping to his feet and throwing the cupcake into the trash. “I’m so sorry, Doll, I completely forgot—”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” you laugh. “Don’t worry about it.”

Shawn tries to rake his fingers through his curls but there’s already a twisted bandana holding them back. “I’m really so sorry.”

You rise from your chair, shake your head and bury it in his shirt, wrapping your arms around his torso. “It’s really fine.” He smells like a mix of laundry detergent and cigarette smoke.

He’s tense for only a moment before he allows his shoulders to drop, his cheek resting on the top of your head as his hand settles into your back jeans pocket. The two of you start to sway, Shawn humming a bit, singing along to that new Drake song he’d just played in the car on the way back to your dorm from his house. His voice is low and calming.

The lock on the door clicks and you two break apart.

“Happy birthday— oh.” Naomi looks slightly disappointed as she notices Shawn’s presence. “Sorry to interrupt.”

Shawn clears his throat and takes a step back from you. “Hey Naomi. Sorry if you guys had plans, Im headed out now anyways.”

“You don’t have to go, Shawn,” you say, trying your best not to sound whiny and desperate in front of Naomi who already looks impatient, tapping her white Adidas against the tile.

Shawn smiles and assures you it isn’t a big deal and that he’ll “be back for dinner.” He waves goodbye to Naomi and makes sure to softly close the dorm door behind him.

Naomi’s smile suddenly reappears full force, as if it had never disappeared. “Alrighty, birthday girl. What are we doing tonight?”

You hide your disappointment as you hop up on your bed and pick at the seam in the mattress. You tell her that you don’t want to do much at all— “we can do a movie?”

Naomi nods absentmindedly. She starts to dig around in her backpack and your stomach turns at the sound of glass bottle against glass bottle. So that’s where she went, you think, watching with a cocked eyebrow as she pulls a Tito’s bottle from the bag. She turns around and shakes it to catch your attention. “Movie night with a bit of Tito’s?”

You weigh the options in your head. You and Shawn are going to dinner in a few hours, but he already told you he had work obligations after your dinner so you’ll be in your dorm with Naomi, either giving in to her boozy movie night or fighting off her constant pleas to go out to the bars with whatever boy is chasing her these days.

Neither sounds appealing.

You force a smile. “Mr. Tito can have a spot in front of the T.V.”

Naomi cheers a little and places the bottle on her desk. You wonder how she gets anything done— it’s a Thursday night, and she has class tomorrow at 9am. And when Naomi goes out, she doesn’t just hit a couple bars and call it quits. She stays out until the sun comes up, stumbles home alone (despite your continuous pleas for her to call an uber or just call you), and pukes until she can get up, wipe her mouth, and basically collapse in her 9am Econ class.

“So,” Naomi starts, “what was Shawn up to?” She looks skeptical. She’s fighting to keep her face under control but she’s never been one for theatrics— her pursed lips and fiddling fingers give it all away.

You shift a bit in your spot on the side of the bed. “He just stuck around for a second to give me a birthday cupcake.”

Naomi nods along. “Mhmm,” she hums. “And you were at his house earlier today?”

You start to feel like you were being interrogated. “Yes?” You say, irritation coloring your words. “Is that a problem?”

“Calm down. God,” Naomi replies, laughing a bit through her nose to lighten the conversation. “I’m just asking. You never let me know where you are so sometimes I get worried.”

You want to call her out on her bullshit, want to tell her that there are stretches of three or four nights where you have no idea where she is, either. But you don’t. You just nod and announce that you’re going to get ready for dinner. It’s not for another two hours, but you need any excuse to leave the dorm.

You walk to one of the many community sinks and splash water on your face to wake yourself up. You start to hum along to that Drake song, the one Shawn got stuck in your head, and you start to think that maybe you’ve gone crazy because you hear Shawn’s voice, not inside your head, but down the hall. It’s slightly hushed, as if he’s trying not to bother someone, and it’s low enough that you can’t make out what he’s saying. You almost go into the hall and find him, ask him who’s on the phone, but then there’s another, louder, slightly familiar voice that is joining Shawn’s mumbles.

“Thank you so much, man,” the other voice says. “I just call this number?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shawn says. “Don’t forget this time or the job’s gone. He was pissed the first time.” There’s some small amount of humor in Shawn’s voice as not to sound rude or intrusive, but the words obviously held meaning. His voice is no longer hushed and you hear them exchange goodbyes, the other voice saying that he’s glad he ran into Shawn, and then the elevator dings and you know Shawn left.

The other voice begins to walk towards you. You hear the footsteps get increasingly louder on the tile. So you resume your examination of your face in the mirror, pretending to be extremely interested in the blackhead on your nose, and as the man passes by you only see a flash of blonde hair. He’s moving quickly, almost like he knew you were scoping out his face.

You didn’t think you knew him, but his voice was so familiar. Maybe you just recognize it from the many useless floor meetings your RA calls—perhaps he’s even in one of your classes. But something about the whole situation makes the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. What were they talking about?

Their conversation coupled with Naomi’s ever-present skepticism is enough for your stomach to turn. Part of you wants to run to the elevator and chase Shawn down, demand he tell you exactly what’s going on, but you don’t. You know you can trust him. He’s a good guy. Although you two have only been dating for a few months, you know that he’s reliable and honest. Shawn was just offering this guy a job. Right? You splash some more water on your face.

Yes, you tell yourself. You’re being crazy. It’s just a job.

Right?

Right.

***

Dinner with Shawn was fine.

He noticed you were quiet. He would tap your nose flirtatiously, saying something like “cats got your tongue?” or “did you not like your food?” You would just force a laugh and assure him that you were stressed about your test or that you were tired. He didn’t believe you. He would push some more before sensing that he wasn’t going to get anywhere and drop the subject. After a while, you saw the tension in his hand as he gripped his glass. He was stressed, or angry, or something in between.

Fine. You were stressed and angry too.

Dinner with Shawn was fine. Just fine.

He drops you off in front of your dorm. You don’t kiss him goodbye. He doesn’t really seem to care. He drives off.

Fine.

You lean against the wall in the elevator after pressing the button and mindlessly scroll through your phone. The doors begin to close but someone thrusts their hand between the doors so they abruptly open again. You briefly look up out of habit, but your eyes linger once they catch the man’s face. A bruised eye, a cut lip, a bump on his forehead. You try to be discreet, but the space is so small and there isn’t anything to pretend to distract yourself with. He’s handling the pain well, from what you can tell. His hands are shoved in his pockets and his face is devoid of anything that would hint to you that he needed medical attention.

Surface wounds, then. Maybe he was robbed. Maybe the thugs just ruffed him up enough so he was too distracted to call the cops right away. Or maybe he fell off his bike. There were a million things could explain his wounds but for some reason you were completely taken aback. And his hair, his hair was similar to the hair of the man you saw in the hall earlier today.

The doors open and he swiftly exits the elevator. You follow him down the hall, stopping outside of your door and turning the lock but waiting for a moment, looking after him to watch him go into his own room. It’s the one two doors down.

When his door closes, yours opens abruptly. Your heart jumps.

“What are you doing?” Naomi asks, looking in the direction you were only to see an empty hallway. Her face is scrunched up in annoyance, like your curiosity somehow inconveniences her.

“Sorry. I was just staring, I guess.” You shrug, pushing past her into your shoebox of a room. Naomi has the cartable covered in red solo cups, signifying an awaiting game of beer pong, and she’s dressed in a tube top and high-waisted, ripped jeans. You look down at your own outfit and frown. You and Shawn went to a nicer restaurant, so you’re wearing that old gap dress that your mom got you for your birthday a while ago.

You look like you just came back from church, and she looks like she’s about to go to Diddy’s birthday party.

“Get changed. We’re going to Mario’s to get margs and then to that bar on eighth, the new one.”

It’s not up for discussion, then. Anger builds in your chest, but you fight it down. She’s trying to entertain you in the only way she knows how. She doesn’t mean to be rude.

You get changed, down a couple shots of that Tito’s and add more black eyeliner. There’s a knock on the door and Naomi opens it to reveal Jeffrey, that guy who bought an uber for her once and whom she now regards as some kind of frat boy Prince Charming. He looks stupid. He’s wearing a button-down Hawaiian shirt and khakis.

Whatever.

They start to play a flirty game of beer pong. Each time Naomi makes a shot, Jeffrey pretends to be upset and pout like a fucking three-year-old until Naomi kisses it away.

Once the kissing turns into a make-out session that ends up with Naomi pushing all the cups to the floor and sitting on the edge of the card table, you say “I’m ready to go, c’mon,” and grab your jacket off the back of your desk chair, leaving without checking to see if they’re following you.

You’re just so… annoyed. Your birthday is dictated by everything besides what you want to do. Naomi couldn’t give less of a fuck about what you like to do, you made Shawn mad, and you spent half the day worrying about some kid you’ve never met before.

And you have a stupid final tomorrow.

You’re embarrassed. You look so dumb in your tiny cut-off t-shirt and jeans that are much too tight with holes that are much too big. You have so much black eyeliner around your eyes that people could mistake you for a racoon. Your boyfriend bought you a cupcake you couldn’t eat because, oh yeah, it had the one thing in the world you can’t eat.

The elevator dings and you step forward as the doors begin to ease open.

“Oh, hey,” Shawn says as he almost runs right into you coming out of the car. “What are the chances of seeing you here?” he jokes, his smile wide and nothing at all reminiscent of his earlier expressions. He changed from earlier, now dressed in your university’s football team’s jersey and black jeans. He seems to catch on that your mood from dinner hasn’t gone away. “What’s up? Naomi said we’re all going out for your birthday.”

You nod and push past him into the elevator. Of course, he follows you.

“Seriously, what’s wrong,” he said, exasperated. “You’ve been pissed off all night.”

You lean your head back against the wall and cross your arms over your exposed stomach. “I’m just mad that Naomi planned this without telling me.”

“It was a surprise, baby.”

You take a deep breath. “I told her I just wanted a movie night.”

“She’s just trying to do something nice.”

“I get it, Shawn,” you say, anger building in your voice, “but she completely went against what I wanted to do for my birthday—”

You stop. Shawn’s finger was pressing the close-door button so the elevator could begin its descent, but your eye caught the discoloration on his knuckles and your mind went blank. He follows your eyes and laughs. “Did you see these?” he asks. “I thought I was super macho and didn’t need gloves at the gym. Boxed Jaimie without them. Stupid idea.”

You hum your recognition of his excuse, but panic was building inside of you. You knew your hands were going to start to shake so you pull your jacket closer around your body and you leave the elevator quickly, pacing ahead of Shawn. He’s close on your heels and your anxiety peaks.

The bruises on his knuckles. The bruises on that kid’s face. The hair. The conversation.

You realize that you don’t know your boyfriend at all.

Not at all.

A/N: What do you think will happen next? What do you want to happen next? Tell me!

Requests are open for blurbs, so ask away!

[jemej3m]

radio silence (chapter 1: misunderstandings)

twinyards week - day 1!!!! im going to be compiling these all in an ao3 fic at the end of the week, because they’ll all be the same au, and ((mostly)) in chronological order. 

i hope u enjoy!  

tw warning for child sexual and physical abuse, self harm, canon-typical violence, swearing, homophobia (aaron and andrew ((and nicky))’s backstories)

*

Ever since Andrew could remember—which was pretty much forever—he’d had an imaginary friend.

Well, sort of. His imaginary friend was a very distinct voice in his head called Aaron, who didn’t like his mother because she would always hit him, and leave him locked in his room whilst she went off with needles and men. Andrew was sometimes perplexed at how specific his imagination could be.

Aaron knew about Samuel, and James, and Harrison, because Andrew had told him, hidden away in a small, dark closet with his body shaking and aching. Why do they touch you? Aaron had asked, sounding upset. Probably because Andrew was upset, too.

I don’t know, his seven-year-old self had whimpered, lost and scared and alone. I don’t know.

Imaginary friends fell out of fashion pretty fast when Andrew finally went to school: Andrew Doe, the foster kid. Andrew Doe, the weirdo who talked to himself. Don’t go near the short one: He’s a freak.

He spent his time instead in the small, decrepit libraries that those schools had to offer, hiding in the corner with a book that was probably too hard for him to read but he didn’t care: He waddled through it, Aaron asking about what happened at the end of every chapter. He couldn’t read as well as Andrew could. Probably because he wasn’t real.

It was the realisation that Aaron was most certainly a detailed, intricate figure of Andrew’s imagination that forced him to stop talking to him. This lasted for years: The silence was almost echoey in Andrew’s head as he moved from home to home, none of them any good.

Until Cass.

She was warm and gentle. She baked him cookies and taught him how. Richard took him to the movies and drove him too and from school. They were the kindest people Andrew had ever met, and Andrew clung onto them fervently.

Then Drake, their son, came home. He was tall and broad shouldered and smiled like a wolf: He pinned Andrew down into the mattress and Andrew wished his pillows would just swallow him. Mornings were spent squirrelling away bloodied sheets and staring at himself in the mirror as hopeless tears rolled over young adolescent cheeks. Why me? He’d thought, desperate. Why me?

Andrew, Aaron said, astonished after all the years of radio silence. Is that you?

“You’re not real.” Andrew whispered. “You’re not real.”

Is something wrong? Something has to be wrong. Are you hurt?

Andrew ignored him in favour of finding the razor tucked under the spare face clothes in the sink’s spare drawer. When he climbed into the shower, he watched the water dilute his blood, and thought of the way that everything had a cost.

*

Officer Phil Higgins was an overbearing man who knew Andrew from a program for troubled kids within his area, where he gathered them all into a circle and forced them into bonding activities. Board games. Backyard baseball. ‘Buddy’ forming activities. Andrew was required to go, due to his ‘lacking social skills’, but he almost never participated. The pig never pushed him, never asked why he wore black long-sleeves in the middle of a Californian summer and never encroached on Andrew’s personal space, which was why Andrew continued to put up with the man’s antics.

The only actual conversation he and the pig ever had was when the man held Andrew back after one afternoon session, much to Andrew’s irritation.

“I went to a baseball game on the weekend,” he said, like it was something Andrew wanted to hear. “I met someone very interesting.”

Andrew stepped out of his space and made for the exit: When Phil said “Andrew, please listen,” he stood, the revolted shudder making the entire frame of his body tremble. He glanced over his shoulder for merely a second, but the officer took his chance. “I met a boy just like you. He looked identical to you. I think you might have been separated in the system at birth. His name is Aaron.”

That was enough for Andrew, who sprinted away from Phil’s curious gaze. In a brief lapse of control, he silently yelled at Aaron: You’re real?

Yes. Are you?

Yes, Andrew thought, devastated.

I met a police officer, today. He said that you’re real, Andrew. That you’re here, in California. Are you? Can I see you?

Fuck off, Andrew snarled, wishing he could run away from the voice inside his own fucking head. He didn’t want Aaron anywhere near the Spear family, with Cass’s gentle hugs and Richard’s genuine laughs. He didn’t want Aaron near Drake’s malicious intentions, facing the same fate that Andrew did every night. Fuck off, don’t talk to me, don’t come near me.

Andrew—

Andrew shut himself inside his bedroom and made a feral snarling noise, wishing he could cut Aaron out of his head. Rain splattered carelessly against the small window of the bathroom, so uncharacteristic of California’s sunny skies and relentless cheer that he had to look away.

Everything was wrong. Everything was so wrong.

It wasn’t until the pig himself came over and explained to Cass and Richard what had happened that Andrew decided to do something preventative: From the hallway, Drake grinned, fisting a tuft of Andrew’s hair in his too-tight grasp.

“We’ll have so much fun together,” He whispered against the shell of Andrew’s ear. “The three of us. Won’t that be exciting?”

That night, Andrew crept out with a flask of gasoline from Richard’s shed and a box of matches before Drake could sneak his way into Andrew’s room, walking to his school under the veneer of darkness.

He watched the baseball pitch burn, sitting in the batter’s cage and letting the heat lick his sweat from his skin. When the police arrived he went gladly.

“Don’t let there be any more kids,” Andrew insisted as he was being shoved into a cruiser. Phil Higgins looked at him, perplexed. “Promise me that there won’t be anymore.”

“Andrew, what are you talking about?”

It was useless. He burrowed into the corner of the police car and let the cool metal of his handcuffs around his bloody wrists draw him out of his head.

He did it for Aaron. He did it for the voice in his head, who could be real after all.

If that didn’t make him insane, he didn’t know what did.

*

The first time Andrew and Aaron met—in the parking lot of the Seattle Juvenile Detention Facility—they’d just stared at each other. Their mother had been too sick to come all the way to greet him, something about a chronic illness that probably wasn’t very chronic. Instead Luther and Maria, and their squirrelly son Nicholas, welcomed Andrew with open arms.

“We’re very glad to have you,” Luther said.

“Let’s go home,” Maria insisted.

They sat in the back of the rental car, venturing back to the airport with Nicky sitting purposefully between the two brothers. Forever an ice-breaker.

Andrew? Aaron asked, hesitantly. Andrew looked out the window. Please—I just want to know if I’m actually insane or not.

I hate that word, Andrew said, scathingly. Aaron looked down to where his hands were entangled in his lap.

Sorry, he said, and actually sounded like he meant it. He was kinda pathetic. Andrew finally looked around Nicky at his brother, who caught his eye. Aaron was littered with bruises and sickly pale, even if he tried to cover it up with his loose polo shirt.

Does she hurt you? Andrew asked.

Andrew—

I asked you a fucking question.

Slowly, Aaron nodded. Andrew settled back into his chair and glared at the seat in front of him, Maria’s tangle of curls peeking through the gap between the chair’s headrest and body, wondering what kind of woman Tilda Minyard would be, to give up one son and not the other, and then treat the one she had like shit. Ideas wafted across the empty expanse of his mind, forcefully blank to avoid exploitation.

That was fine. Andrew would cross that bridge when he came to it.

*

“No.” Andrew said. It was the first time Andrew had ever spoken to Luther, six months since being initiated into the Minyard-Hemmick household. He’d spent that time convincing Aaron of his plan to get rid of their biological mother, who continued to hit Aaron even when Andrew warned her not to. Aaron didn’t want his mother to die. 

(She’s family, Andrew, he’d said silently. She’s family. Andrew had just looked at him and reminded him that he was family, and that they had always been there for each other, and that there was no way he’d leave Aaron now.) 

“No?” Luther inquired. “But Cass and Richard would love to see you. They were very shocked when you were arrested. They’d wanted to adopt you, Andrew.”

“No.” Andrew insisted, voice hoarse. “You do not let them anywhere near Aaron.”

Luther still wasn’t sold. “Why not?”

“Drake - he -” Raped me. Because someone always was. 

Luther’s smile was beseeching and patronising, and drained every last rivulet of energy from within Andrew, who was exhausted and angry at the world. He’d just found his family - why was fate so insistent on tearing it away from him again? 

“I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding, Andrew.”

Misunderstanding. Misunderstanding. Misunderstanding. 

Right. Of course. 

Andrew turned on his heel and marched out of Luther’s perfect little living room, where he was sat on the white linen couches with a cup of tea and his little wooden cross on the mantelpiece. By the time Andrew had grabbed his coat from the Hemmick’s pristine entrance corridor and ignored Maria’s inquiry about staying for dinner, the plan was already in place. 

People always underestimated the lengths to which Andrew would go to protect what little family he had: He supposed that lack of insight about Andrew’s limits would come in handy when orchestrating everything under their noses. The only person who knew him, really, was Aaron, but he spent most of his time hooked up on their mother’s shit to read whatever Andrew was up to now. 

Andrew would kill Tilda. Nicky would come back from Germany. Luther would forget all about the Spears, and Aaron would be safe. 

Perfect.  

*

twin telepathy!!!

(is dark rn im sorry but i promise we’ll get through all the canon stuff and then explore their relationship post-canon and get to that SWEET SWEET DOMESTICITY, i promise anon :ppp )

[redemptioninterlude]

Woody could use some love okay f me

send urls, get positivity meme! + @joc-cook

lmao this is gonna be SO DAMN CORNY, but i swear this was like a legit instant connection. like our fucking identical musical taste aside, and the weird way we’re also mind reading and writing all the things the other person is thinking, AND THE WEIRD PERFECT CHEMISTRY, just generally?? cc is literally a fuckin’ queen. 

cook’s always been one of my favourite characters since i watched skins, i always thought he was such a funny loudmouth fuck up. but in all that is honestly such a fucking lovely character. like for real, you play him so well i’m consistently shocked. i’m out here tryina guess half the lingo you’re using AND I AM HALF BRITISH so like, right fuckin’ on cc, you’re just nailing the shit out of this. add on top that half of toronto slang is really appropriated british slang (thanks drake...) and i’m just like... how. and just the quality, there’s no words for how fucking excited i get when i write something for you or i see a notification from you, because i know as soon as it’s up we’ll be up in the ims yellin’ and for right fucking reason.

i’m literally s o o o  o excited for this ship and how it’s shaping up because i can already tell the angst is literally going to murder the shit out of my soul. and isn’t that low key the best kind? like all the lovely throes and highs and lows and shitty moments and then you know, typical fuck it and addict behaviour clashes and then BOOM PAP!!! that’s essentially what we’re crafting and i don’t know, i already feel this is one that’s gonna stick for me as something i look back on and i’m like, ahhhh, romantic sighs, wasn’t that just beautiful to write and experience? now i’m just here praying you keep up on it, don’t you ever leave!!! because i adore you, both in and out of the writing, you’re a pretty wicked friend, and i’m glad we got to meet, you know?

oh yeah and then because i promised this would happen... woody! who’s a good boy? yous a good boy! yes you are! yes you aaaaare!!! you cute sweet darling little pup! ask cc for a treat from me, okay?? yesssss, eat it up!

        ( ok i’m done bye )

[msjr0119]

Hold On

Part 20- I can’t lose you

Nobody got injured at the Homecoming ball, they all get separated into different safe houses- for safety.

Riley and Drake had confirmed that they had feelings for each other, however Drake believed Riley should be with Liam. Heartbroken, she moves back to New York. Only keeping in touch with Hana, Maxwell and Olivia.

Riley meets lawyer, Nate Cooper and begins a relationship with him. In Cordonia, Drake begins to court Kiara.

Nine months after Riley had left Cordonia- there is a reunion, but not the reunion the friends had hoped for.

*Characters belong to Pixelberry*

If you are under 18 please do not read this series. If you do you are consenting that you are over the age.

Series warnings: Suicide, domestic abuse, swearing, stabbing, smut 🍋. If any of these triggers affect you do not read!

Tags- @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @butindeed @bbrandy2002 @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @kingliam2019 @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @choices97 @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world

******

Kiara didn’t know how to react, she didn’t need a man- she was the heir to her estate, she was intelligent, why was she obsessed with Drake? When she was younger she always fantasied about being with the muscly commoner. Everyone looked down their noses at the Walker’s after Jackson tragically passed away. But not Kiara. She stayed civil with everyone, she taught Savannah Walker french before she abruptly left. Doing this, she had hoped it would bring her and Drake closer.

Kiara’s daydream was shortly interrupted, her head turned towards the wooden door swiftly like a meerkat. Drake’s body froze, his hand remained on the door knob. The vein in her neck became distended- she definitely didn’t trust the two of them now.

“WALKER! SIT DOWN!”

“Kiara, you have a problem with me not Drake. You and I can sort this. Just let him go. When the atmosphere is better, you two can sort this out. I’m sure he will forgive you. Right Drake?”

“Have you lost your brain cells Brooks? No chance in hell am I forgiving her!”

Riley grabbed Kiara’s hand, holding it tightly. Her baby blues, fixated on the insecure woman stood in front of her.

“Kiara, he doesn’t mean it he’s angry. You’re angry. Just both calm down. We can get through this.”

“We? Because you’re always involved aren’t you Riley.”

“I- I meant you two can sort it out. I promise you Ki, that I won’t tell anyone. I’ll just say to Liam that I was tired so I went straight to bed. It’s the first time I’ve drank alcohol in weeks- it’s a reliable story. Please. What else can I do to persuade you?”

“You should have never come back! You don’t belong here.”

Riley hated how everyone treat her using her commoner status. Everyone is equal she believed. No matter what status they had.

“Maybe I don’t belong here, maybe it was fate that I’m here. But between you and Madeleine, you two belong elsewhere too! You both need your heads looking at!”

“Brooks! Keep that big American mouth of yours shut!”

“Fuck you Walker! We wouldn’t be in this situation if you kept your dick in your pants and respected women!”

Kiara couldn’t cope with the two of them arguing. She had paranoid thoughts that this would bring them closer- Riley was sticking up for her. Was this a ploy to escape? Kiara didn’t care. She dragged Drake to the floor.

“Do you love me Drake?”

“No!”

“Do you love her?”

“I did!”

“If Liam wasn’t around, would you jump straight back into her arms?”

“I- I.. Kiara this ends now! Just let her go back to Liam. Please.”

“Don’t avoid the question!”

“Yes, I probably would! Happy now?”

“Wrong answer!”

Kiara turned to Riley, pushing her against the wall. Her eyes narrowed, as she put her hands around the American’s neck. Riley was furious with Drake. Why couldn’t he just lie?

“Lady Riley. Now it’s your turn... if Liam wasn’t around would you jump back into Drake’s arms?”

“No.....”

“You’ve done it before. So why not now?”

“Kiara you’re hurting me.... please .... just please.... believe me. Drake is my friend.... if you hurt us....”

“Oh if I hurt you, you think your King will save you both? No chance, Riley! Whilst you’re still here Drake is still going to want you.”

“Kiara.... I ... I can’t breath!”

“Kiara let her go!”

“SIT WALKER! IM NOT DONE WITH HER YET!”

“Ki... I love Liam.... please.... “

Kiara removed herself from Riley, creating little distance- pulling the knife out of her bra. She glided the knife across Riley’s neck. The cold blade, caused shock through Riley’s body.

“Riley you know I can’t let you stay. You say you love Liam. But here in Cordonia we have arrangements within marriage.”

“I’m... I’m... not like... that. I’d have done... it when... he was engaged to her....”

“Riley. Pick! You or him?”

“Me....Do what you want to me....”

“No Riley! Are you fucking crazy? You have a good future ahead of you. Kiara if you are going to hurt anyone it’s going to be me.”

“Aw Ri, he’s still playing hero for you.”

Riley felt the tip of the blade now against her abdomen. Closing her eyes, it felt like time had frozen. All she could think about was Liam, and the time during the social season.

I’m glad to have met you, Riley. I’ll never forget this night.

Riley... I never thought I’d see you again.

If I’m being honest, I was just thinking about you.

You look so beautiful in the firelight. Riley, I’ve never really had someone that I wanted to please so badly. I feel like I’d do anything to see you smile and know that I was the cause.

It is said that if two lovers climb to the top of the waterfall and jump in together, they’ll get the blessing of the lady of the waterfall.

You are entitled to a kiss, my Queen.

I’m always happy when I’m with you Lady Riley. I’ve been trying to imagine what type of Queen you would be if we were to be wed.

What I really want is to have a family. Maybe not this year or the next but eventually..... the most precious thing anyone has is time. You never know just how much you have left. And when it’s gone.. it’s gone.

The last memory hit Riley, she needed to fight. She needed to get to Liam- to tell him how much he meant to her, and that she regretted every moment she had lost with him in the past. Feeling Kiara turn and twist the tip of the knife against her abdomen, she knew somehow she had to knock the knife out of her hand. As she opened her eyes, her vision went into slow motion as she saw Drake sprint into Kiara, tackling her to the floor. The knife fell a distance, out of everyone’s reach.

“Kiara, ENOUGH! This has to end NOW!”

Anger in his voice, that Riley had never witnessed before apart from in Applewood. He had risked his life again for her. Riley looked sadly at Drake who had stopped restraining a now unconscious Kiara on the floor.

“Brooks! Get out now!”

“I- I can’t leave you...I can’t even find the key!”

Drake stood up leaving Kiara on the floor, frantically both of them began looking for a key. Riley removed a hair grip out of her messed up hair, hoping that it would unlock the door.

“It’s not working! The window! We have to jump!”

Riley grabbed Drake’s hand, leading him to the window. She would rather have broken limbs than be butchered to death.

“She’s locked it! Pass me your bottle of whiskey! We have to smash the window!”

“Are you crazy?”

“Drake, I will personally buy you whiskey for the rest of your lifetime. Please... it’s our only way out!”

Drake hesitantly handed the bottle over. Both of them taking a swig from the bottle before attempting to smash the window- glass from the brown bottle shattered. Riley stared in the windows reflection, feeling defeated that the window itself didn’t smash. Of course she was in a palace, the windows were probably bulletproof. In disbelief, she saw Kiara rise from the floor, pointing the knife towards them- her eyes widened as she predicted what was going to happen.

“DRAKE! MOVE!”

In slow motion, Riley felt the heavy weight lean into her body. Losing her balance, they both fell to the floor.

“I’m so sorry Drake. I loved you.”

“Love? Are you fucking serious Kiara? You’ve just literally stabbed him in the back!”

Riley slowly stood up, trembling- her hands now painted red with Drake’s blood. Adrenaline now taking over she ran over to Kiara, with a shard of glass from the whiskey bottle. Threatening the noble lady.

“Kiara, I swear to god- give me the key! He needs medical assistance!”

Kiara stood, smirking at Riley. No other expression was shown.

“You have five minutes to save him, Lady Riley.”

Riley looked confused as Kiara entered the bathroom, running the bath. She ran over to Drake, knowing she had to find the stab wound and prevent anymore bleeding. Raiding through his wardrobe, she could only find his usual white shirts and denim jackets- it’ll have to do.

Riley placed pressure on the wound and cradled Drake in her arms, hoping her friend would pull through. She wondered where the others were, as far as she was concerned she had been gone too long.

“Drake, why do you always have to act like the hero? Come on. You can’t die on me. You’ve already dodged a bullet. What’s next eh?”

“Br-Brooks....”

“Drake? Come on! Open those brown eyes wider! We have five minutes to get out.”

“Say... goodbye... to everyone. I love Liam... Max... Savannah.. Bartie... Hana... and you.”

“We love you too! You are not leaving us! I’m in love with Liam but I love ya, I always will...you’re my best friend. Don’t tell Hana or Max though.”

Before Drake could respond, he saw Riley’s sad facial expression turn to into grimace. A tear fell from her face effortlessly, before her face head butt his shoulder. Her hair whipped onto his face leaving a lingering sting.

“Goodbye you two...” - Kiara snarled as she removed the whiskey bottle glass shard out of Riley’s back. Blood began pouring like a waterfall- it was never ending.

****

The men raced up to Drake’s room, they had hoped that the door was open. The guards entered with armed weapons, searching the room for Kiara. Bastien swallowed hard as he entered. Shaking, he picked up his phone demanding for medical assistance immediately and commanded that the palace was searched for Kiara.

Liam attempted to barge through the crowd. Bastien heard the commotion, he stood in front of Liam, placing his hands on the Kings shoulders.

“Sir, please. It’s not a nice sight.”

“Bastien I don’t care! Let me in!”

Liam’s heart felt as if it had stopped. He ran over to Riley, scooping her up in his arms, whilst Leo tried to help Drake.

“Ri, please don’t leave me. I can’t lose you.”

Liam remained cradling Riley in his arms. He felt as if his whole world had collapsed- he didn’t know how many more tears his body could produce. The paramedics arrived and immediately began to save their saves- they were both given oxygen. Leo hugged his brother as the two victims were escorted out of the room.

******

“Riley Brooks, aged 25. Stab wound in the lumbar region. She still has a pulse, but it’s weak. The bleeding is being controlled every so often, she needs immediate surgery.”

“Drake Walker, aged 28. He also had a stab wound to the back. His pulse is also weak. The bleeding is now controlled. But he needs to be seen urgently.”

The guests all waited all the bottom of the stairs. They heard the paramedic on the phone to ER. Madeline wasn’t lying. Their friends were fighting for their lives. Reality hit when they saw Riley and Drake’s bodies on stretchers, being escorted outside to the ambulances.

The friends all witnessed Liam barely holding it together. No wonder. Olivia walked over to him, placing a comforting hand on his arm.

“Li, they are both alive. They are both fighters. They will survive this and fight.”

Liam tried to compose himself, as he had an audience gawping at the scene.

“Liv... I can’t lose either of them. I’ll keep you all updated. Can you keep me updated on Kiara’s whereabouts? One thing I’m sure about- if they both die, Kiara’s a dead woman!”

[taysfolklores]

Reasons Why Every Song on Lover is My Favorite

I Forgot That You Existed:

• A Bop

•”In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah”

• Taylor is telling you that she gives no fucks

• the SNAPS

• Her explaining that this was the closing song for the Reputation Era

Cruel Summer:

• BUM BUM BUM BUM (YEAH) BUM BUM BUM BUM (YEAH)

• “he looks up grinning like a devil!”

•THE ANGST OF HER BEING IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT HE DOESNT KNOW AND WHEN SHE DOES TELL HIM SHE LOVES HIM, HE SMILES (like a devil) SHOWING US THAT HE REALLY LOVES HER TOO”

•”I’m drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar”

•”I love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard!?”

•Just the whole song really.

Lover:

• She wrote it by herself with a piano

• the echos in the background when she sings “Can I go, where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever.”

•it’s just such a personal song that she decided to share and that means so much

•”ladies and gentlemen will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover!”

• ITS SO DELICATE AND SOFT

The Man:

• Talks about social issues that need to be addressed because women don’t get treated the same as men

•She calls out the fucking patriarchy

•”Whats it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models and it’s all good if you’re bad and it’s okay if you’re mad, if i was out flashing my dollars I’d be a bitch not a baller, they paint me out to be bad so it’s okay if I’m mad”

•The beat to the song is truly everything

The Archer:

• it’s soft yet powerful

• the bridge!!

• “and all of my heroes die all alone, help me hold on to you”

• she poured out all of her fears about love into a love song and then shared it with us and her lover and I’m just- 🥺

I Think He Knows:

• where do I start? The whole song’s perfect

• “he got that boyish look that I like in a man, I am an architect I’m drawing up the plans, he’s so obsessed me and boy I understand. Boy I understand”

• we got MORE SNAPS

• her voice was truly made for this song. Sultry and sexy

• “it’s like I’m 17, nobody understands”

• “BLESS MY SOUL”

• when she says “where we gonna go?” Which suggests that she’s starting a new wonderful beginning adventure with him!!

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince:

• “American Glory faded before me”

• the fact that she metaphorically used high school to show off politics in todays era America

• “GO!” “FIGHT!” “WIN!” Cheerleaders

• “American Stories burning before me”

•the VIOLINS OH GOD, I LOVE IT

Paper Rings:

• “the moon is high like your friends were the night that we first met”

• the fifty diner sounds of the whole thing

• “in the winter in the icy outdoor pool when you jumped in first, I went in too, IM WITH YOU even if it makes me bluuuuee”

• YOU GUYS THIS SONG IS WHAT TRUE LOVE FEELS LIKE. It feels like someone who you just wanna run away with and it feels fun and free and you’d marry them even if they had nothing. You’d marry them with paper rings. With flaws and all because you love them through all that.

• “1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4!”

•I mean just get up and dance. You know you want too.

Cornelia Street:

• It’s about what would happen if her and her lover were to break up and I think that’s such a refreshing song and a new way to look at love and heartbreak

•she wrote it in her fucking bathtub. I mean-

• we can truly picture her time on Cornelia Street as if we were there. That’s how detailed it is.

• “Baby I get mystified how this city screams your name”

• this is a place where she fell in love with her lover and she didn’t even know that she could fall in love like that and that’s beautiful.

Death By A Thousand Cuts:

• the harmonizing church choir going “my, my, my, my”

• the piano, need I say more?

• THAT BRIDGE THOUGH

• it’s based off a movie she loved, not her real life and I love that

• “but I’ll be alright it’s just a thousand cuts”

• JUST ALL THE PRETTY METAPHORS! “I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up. Chandeliers still flickering here”

London Boy:

• The giggle and the James Corden interview at the beginning

• she really lets us in how Joe is as a person and gives us reasons she loves him and tells us that even though he’s different and grew up different, she wants to be apart of who he is no matter what and that’s love

• THAT BASS

• “babes don’t threaten me with a good time”

• hi Joe, we see you. Thank you for taking care of her!

Soon You’ll Get Better:

•her mom... get better soon Andrea. Please ❤️

• a good song to cry too if you ever need it

• the Dixie Chick’s harmonies

• “I’ll paint the kitchen neon, I’ll brighten up the sky, I know I’ll never get it, but there’s not a day that I won’t try”

• I say this about pretty much all her songs but it’s true: Taylor Swift put this song out into the world and it’s SO personal. Like she had a family meeting and together they decided to release it to the world and to us and I’m just- wow. Just wow. You’re such a force Taylor. You and your mother. Stay strong loves.

False God:

• “alter is my hips”

• the fucking saxophone, god yes

• I feel like I’m in a 20s jazz club every time I listen to this and it’s truly amazing.

• “I’m New York City, I still do it for you babe”

• SEXY AS HELL

You Need To Calm Down:

• “SNAKES AND STONES NEVER BROKE MY BONES”

• EQUALITY

• “SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY!”

• she ain’t holding nothing back. Bitch snapped and we’re all loving it.

• “WE ALL GOT CROWNS”

• just a true wake up call song about modern day America

Afterglow:

• “fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves”

• she takes full responsibility in a way we’ve never seen her do before and it’s so nice to see and for her to tell us these things and her flaws is honestly another level of friendship between us and her and I’m just- yes.

• the fact that she named it Afterglow. Showing that in every bad fight or time there’s a light at the end.

• just a lyrical masterpiece really

ME!:

• the drums!!!!

• “babydoll”

• Showing that everyone should love you the way you are and that you should love the way you are and when you fall in love, they’re gonna have flaws but remember not to settle for less than you deserve because there’s only one of YOU and no one can take that away

• the fucking bridge that was brought in by Brendon

• the fact that Brendon Urie WROTE AND SANG THE SONG WITH TAYLOR

• this is truly the duet I never knew I needed in my life but I’m glad I have it

It’s Nice To Have A Friend:

• I could go on and on about how much this song means to me

• it’s so simple and really just shows love at its core

• it’s not complicated or over done, it just is. Which is what happens when you fall in true love. It just is.

• showing that your lover should always be your best friend too

• the steel pans!! I mean who thought of that?? I love it!!

• it’s indie. So indie. And I love that.

• “side walk chalk covered in snow” and later on “rice on the ground, looks like snow”

• thank you for this song. It’s one of my all time favorites and I want for whomever I fall in love with- I want that kind of love. That feeling of love. Well this and paper rings haha!

Daylight:

• “I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked, clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke. Maybe you ran with wolves and refused to settle down, maybe I’ve stormed out of every single room in this town, through out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now, it’s brighter now, now”

• the chorus

• she wrote it by herself!!!

• a lyrical masterpiece

• the way she calls out RED

• just her showing us how happy and content she is with life and love right now and a great way to end the album

• “it’s golden, like daylight. You gotta step into the daylight and let it go.”

• I love the way how free and unrestricted she sounds. This song is freedom. In love. In life. In all of it.

• the phone call recording at the end tells us everything we need to know about this album and her life in general. It gives us an insight to her.

All in all, thank you so much Taylor for an incredible album. You never cease to amaze me 💗💗💗

[luobingmeis]

okay just gonna be very honest here, mad spoilers for amnesty episode 29 under the cut bc i’m basically gonna be documenting the emotional turmoil me and my best friend just went through

[us, getting breakfast before listening]

me: so, yeah, the description of this episode was something like “one final lunar interlude. our heroes reflect on what got them to this point before their final standoff.”

him: oh my god it’s just going to be a recap

me: i thought it was going to be flashbacks? except, like, from their past before amnesty?

[us, starting the episode]

griffin: so yeah you’re gonna hear some old clips-

my friend: told you! it’s a recap episode!

[the episode beginning]

us: who tf is this man

me: holy shit they’re skipping months

mama doesn’t know where the sylphs are??? amnesty lodge is closed????? it’s months later?????

our current attitude: ?? kinda skeptical but we’ll go with it

[duck’s section]

hey!! sarah drake!!

we lost it laughing at minerva’s “i’m going to eat a pizza and watch the voice”

it sounds like kepler is closed off from the public? like, with the extraterrestial stuff and the mountain collapsing, it sounds like kepler is guarded off like in apocalyptic movies so that no one can get in or leave? and that’s, how do u say, very concerning!!!

like, it seems like A Lot of fbi agents are coming into kepler which, like, makes sense, but still

my friend: listening to this is kinda confusing

me: yeah it’s almost like the same person is playing seven different characters at once

[ad break]

me: ngl i’m kinda nervous but also i think this is how everyone who listened to balance as it was happening felt when stolen century started so... i trust griffin, but i’m nervous

my friend: oh yeah griffin is going to make this all work out

also my friend: also mama is being kept in captivity bc she doesn’t know where the sylphs are but duck does because of the spring-thing

me: holy shit

also it sounds like amnesty lodge is either closed bc a) the sylphs are gone, b) it was raided, or c) it was destroyed by the fucking mountain falling into town

honestly it sounds like kepler in general is in shambles

[mama’s section part 2]

basically the one thing that has been sticking out to me is the light creature stuff. like, even when we first saw them back in the water arc, it always stuck out to me that they all seemed Incredibly At Peace

honestly thank god for this section because i forgot so much about thacker, especially how fucking creepy that scene was with him and aubrey in the basement

[aubrey’s scene]

hey!! the hornets!!!

i love how aubrey and the hornets are working together, tho it seems rather begrudgingly

me and my friend settled on that it seems like they’re... preparing for something? a fight, obviously, but against what, or who?

aubrey is preparing some Big Magic

also the music playing behind aubrey trying to cast A Spell was so fucking good

also thank god for those flashbacks bc a) they fit so well and b) i forgot so much

and i’m so glad they finally came back to the interpreter, i was wondering what was gonna happen w/ her

tho, tbh, me and my best friend had this moment of utter understanding

it was during the flashback when janelle was telling aubrey about sylvain and how she disappeared and no one knows where she went

and i just turned to my friend and said, “i think aubrey is actually sylvain”

and my best friend said, “i was about to say the same fucking thing, aubrey isn’t a sylph because she is literally sylvain”

so that’s the theory we have

also me and my friend: where! is! dani!

bc obvi i will never stop worrying abt dani

[that fucking final scene]

okay

okay

o k a y

throughout this entire episode, i was thinking to myself, “god, i’m kinda nervous for ned’s section. it’s probably going to be a funeral, right? like, it’s gonna be sad, yeah?”

but then, i started thinking to myself, “hey... this episode is only, like, an hour and fifteen minutes... and mama’s already had two sections, and duck had his, and aubrey is having her section, and it’s long, so, like... are they gonna skip ned?”

and then

and then

we hear clint gasping for breath

and the amnesty theme starts

and me and my best friend kinda side eye each other

bc, listen, i love ned so much and would love more of him, but i kinda didn’t want him to come back bc his death was so impactful that it would’ve kinda... ruined the moment?

and then we hear, “aubrey! you did it!”

and then

we hear

“welcome back, thacker”

and we

fucking

lose

our 

minds

we both gasp and throw our hands over my mouth (im still driving tho so one-handed)

and we’re both just speechless

and we’re just staring at my radio as the ending music plays

and i start absolutely fucking losing it, “holy shit! clint is fucking thacker now! holy fucking shit! oh my god!” except like take that x1000

and i’m screaming and me and my best friend are just staring at each other and, finally, he says, “griffin mcelroy is a fucking genius”

and we replay the moment bc we Cannot Fucking Believe That Just Happened

and, oh my god, it was fucking wild, bc we were still driving down by the beaches and absolutely freaking out and my friend is like, “it was so perfectly set up! griffin is a fucking genius! thacker is a character with no established personality or backstory! it’s fucking perfect!”

and i was telling him abt all the theories that had been going around and just

holy shit

it was definitely one of those “you had to be there in my car to truly see what was going on” moments bc me and my best friend were absolutely losing our minds and, ngl, if you can, find a friend to enjoy stuff with! bc i listen to amnesty w/ my best friend and, as someone who already loves amnesty and has a lot of fun listening to it, it makes it so much more fun!!

and, like, we had been saying that entire episode, “something is gonna happen with thacker, something’s gonna happen”

and, well, something happened with thacker

like, okay, we all kinda assumed clint would still be There, but i was thinking it was gonna be ned flashbacks or something

but clint coming back to play thacker??? that is officially one of the best the adventure zone moments ever like that part needs to be cemented in adventure zone history

we are also waiting for when shit goes down with fucking dr. harris bonkers phd bc he was mentioned A Good Amount Of Times

now, we’re just wondering how the next couple episodes are gonna take place

griffin said that, in two weeks, the final arc will begin. does he mean the finale, or does he mean an actual arc before the finale?

anyways, i’m so fucking hyped, and amnesty is so fucking good, and i knew i was right in not paying attention to other people saying “oh amnesty won’t have moments like what balance had” bc i knew that the end arcs of amnesty were going to pack a fucking punch

so, yeah, moral of my ted talk, amnesty is really fucking great!!!!

“griffin said gay rights when he brought thacker back” “gay and trans rights”

[rjshepherd]

Poldark Season 5 ep1

S5 ep1

You know I forgot how this season started …and pretty much everything about it except the fact that ned is tiresome and then he dies. Something about this filmography seems…idk much higher budget or something. Like its been shot with a new camera for film instead of tv. I’m not complaining but now the old ones look like rubbing sand in your eyes.  funny they start with a flash back because thats what im having when we start zooming in on ross not giving a shit when everyones lives around him are on fire.

Ooh that ocean shot coming down on ross from above was nice. very cinema much wow

Watching George being sad however was not.

Loving Demelza’s new red dress. In case you haven’t guessed I’m a costume fiend and i like dresses.

Oooh, I’m sorry but gc is…um…an acquired taste.

Jesus Cary is still kicking? Oh boy. 2 Poldarks? George will have his hands full stirring 2 pots at once.

what is a collection of poldarks called? an annoyance? a gaggle?

That face drop at the mention of elizabeth was epic.

Has gc had lip fillers or something?

Ooooh thunder rumbling in the background and that big dumb servant standing menacingly.

Can George control the weather now?

That’s not a very flattering portrait of elizabeth now is it.

Morwenna is looking well. I’m glad, she deserves to be happy.

I’m still upset about Dwight having to bear this secret.

Hey so is ross still a banker and an MP? where did that all go?

When is knocking at the door in the wee hours ever good?

People who wear black gloves are always bad. Jesus even his daughter doesn’t like this fucker.

I’m glad mel knows what she’s in for. She’s not even remotely shocked about this pillock. she just laughs like yea go on ya big galoot.

Is that jacka again? Christ id hoped the winter’d taken yoTESS TRIGIDDEN I REMEMBER YOU YOU BEAST OF A BURDEN.

Cecily . I have so much respect for women of this era for not murdering every man they see. give this woman a larger drink

NO. TOO SOON. NO MARRYING.

Once more, Dwight is the voice of reason.

I've said many times that Cornwall would be fucked without Demelza, Caroline etc but honestly they need Dwight too, because he’s the only one with foresight beyond tomorrow.

Hahah Georges ill coat billowing in the breeze its so cute.

Someone push hanson, Cary and George into the ocean.

Actually don’t, their evil might  poison our water supply, burn our crops, and delivered a plague until our houses.

well maybe not.

BUT ARE WE GOING TO WAIT TILL HE DOES?

Cary knows this guy is horse shit and its only ep1

Damn Tess I remember why hated you.

And Sam she is not your religious conquest. She’s a knob.LEAVE HER.

MERCRON. I FORGOT ABOUT YOU TOO. BASTABERD  A BACKSTABBING BASTARD.

The phrase “prime breeding stock” makes me sick. And the look on his face when his hallucinations start is terrifying.

Although Cary looks equally scared tbh.

I wana know exactly what illness he has ima look this up.

Aww drake respecting morwenna and that cute ill finger kiss . he’s AMAZING.

How old is ned? This childishness is stupid. He’s worse than ross.

Garrick is best dog. What happened to Ambrose? Georges dog?

I’m glad Cecily isn’t a dick like her dad. She’s going to great things and she doesn’t take any shit.

I’m CRINGING . that was so awkward, poor George is losing his mind in ep 1

Poor wenna. I want to hug her but …like not touch her. I like these clothes on her better, she’s matching drake.

I want someone to call me a firebrand.

Valentine looks more like George than ever before. The brown puts me in mind of elizabeth.

I’m glad we all agree that Elizabeth didn’t deserve to die. And it never occurred to me before that her kids have a horrible fate being stuck with George and without a mother.

LOVE IS NOT SEX AND SEX IS NOT LOVE. I’m glad this is the message Poldark is giving us instead of some bs bodice ripper stuff.

That’s some coikeedink that ross just happens to hear this plot against the king.

And also its not fair to doubt George on EVERYTHING he says because of his mental illness.

Gc and Cecily are funny as all hell.

Wickham seems like a dick. I know he’s a spy and all but Christ a little levity is all I ask.

Ross is the least subtle human alive do you REALLY THINK HE’D BE A GOOD SPY?!?!

“WICKHAM IS AN ARSE”- my mum.

George is losing it and Cary shouldn’t be playing into it.

“god love him , he’s going mad”- mum

Literally everyone knows what a bad idea this is with ned getting free.

This spy dude looks like wrinkled tankard.

Ok as with all ep1s of Poldark, I’m left wondering how the fuck we get from here to what happens in the end. 7 hours is not that much time if we’re all honest with ourselves. It wasn’t dull ill give it that but this is the first time I've cringed at anything. I GET George is going mad with grief but that was just uncomfortable. I've never had a psychotic episode, I've never lost touch with reality baring that 1 time I had the flu and thought I was made of crystals so I don’t know if this is how it works.

Idk maybe I’m missing the point and its MEANT to be physically uncomfortable to watch but that’s not why I watch tv, I’m here to be entertained not cringe myself inside out.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (19)

Anonymous said: Hey can you do something like Bruce reacting to Jason's death? Or just dealing with it in general (I'm feeling awfully sad)

Ahhh I get that you probably want new material, but I don’t have the time for it just now, so I’m just gonna link to all the sad Bruce and Jason content. I hope you feel better! Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help :///

The fic about Bruce right after Jason died

The fic from Under the Red Hood

The fic with Tim as Robin

The fic where Jason gets injured

Generalized angst with a Bruce and Jason section

Anonymous said: Your new list of punishable offenses really, really improved my day

I’m so glad! We all need a lil help, you know?

@thephilosophersapprentice said: Headcanon that Dick uses those relaxing videos from youtube to get Tim to fall asleep

Sleep?? He doesn’t know her (what videos tho hmu)

Anonymous said: Have you done your torts reading yet? Should I poke you? I believe in you!

I did it that day but regrettably there is new torts reading every day :///

Anonymous said: I read the thing about Damian liking plants, and I'm just imagining him and Poison Ivy talking about their favorite plants and like, having a full-on discussion about plants

Selina says it’s “good for them both” and “vaguely cute” but honestly? Makes Bruce nervous

Anonymous said: JOSS WHEDON IS NO LONGER DIRECTING BATGIRL!!!! I am screaming with joy!!

Ahhhhhh it was just a rumor but I WISH

Anonymous said: Hi, I just read through like, all of your Damian hc's and I also read the one about him giving people thoughtful gifts and then I cried for a while. Thank you

One of my favorites! He’s a good kid

Anonymous said: Hey, gotta question. How old is Jason? I had a friend ask me and I wasn't sure.

Really hard to say on that one :/

My personal guess would be somewhere in the 19-22 range in the n52/rebirth, maybe 25ish in the preboot

Anonymous said: Have you read Worlds Apart by Fernandidilly_yo??? They just updated it and it is SO good, I think you would enjoy it. :)))

I haven’t, but I’ll give it a look :)

@giotanner said: Thank you very much for reblog my art (Tim Drake -inktober). This means a lot for me, 'cause I love your blog and always I follow it. Have a nice day!

It was a beautiful picture!

Anonymous said: what did you like about justice league tho ///

Spoilers below

I liked seeing Ben Affleck’s Batman and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman on screen, acting like friends. I loved new-Barry and new-Arthur and new-Victor (especially Victor), especially when he called Bruce an asshole?? Iconic

I’ll be the first to admit that the movie had substantial problems, but here’s the thing: I just genuinely enjoy watching the characters I love on the big screen. The movie made me happy, and that’s all I really care about just now.

Anonymous said: hey mom, can i rant a lil? i am.... disappointed after watching justice league. i mean, i loved the new characters but coming out of the theatres i felt.. icky??? something just didnt sit well with me - the movie was too.... altered i guess is the only word i can think of right now. it didnt feel right. the tone was too light too different (forced?) for me too but thats just me. idk i just... im just upset right now. what did you think?

I’m really sorry you felt that way! I know what you’re talking about, and I’m sorry it ruined the movie for you

@batfightart said: I am so so so so so so so so sorry to hear what you have been going through with this "friend" of yours. That is truly despicable of him to disrespect what you have already told him about yourself and attempt to pursue a relationship despite it. And it's especially terrible since he's your partner for a class and that you share so many friends. Please feel free to vent to us anytime you need, we all love you so much and care for your well-being. I don't know if there is anything I can do, (1/2)

batfightart said: (2/2) but please let me know if I can help in any way or if you need anything. Please remember that you are so loved and that you are VALID as you are. We all appreciate you so much on here, and just want to give you support. I'll be thinking about you and wishing for the best for you. Thank you for sharing with us. We are here for you <3

Honestly this was.... exactly what I needed to hear a few days ago. Thank you so much for your support :’)

@justhavingfun123 said: I understand a bit of what you going through. I've had something similar happen with a guy; he thought he was "the exception". But just because he's friends with your friends doesn't mean you have to distance yourself from them, it might seem like to right thing to do(I've done it before), but stick to your friends. He'll hopefully see he was cruel in the end, and you need friend at a time like this. Hope everything will turn out good in the end and love your work ✨

My friends have been super supportive, which is really great because I don’t think I could have made it through this week without them. Sorry about your shitty experience with that guy :///

@12freddofrogs said: : ( That thing with the girlfriend-zone sounds horrible. I'm really sorry for you having to go through it. I wish I could give you advice or help, but all I can do is offer a virtual hug and prayers. I'm sure it will work out, but it sucks right now, and that's what hurts.

Hug and prayers both greatly appreciated <3

Anonymous said: In regards to your personal distress: you are valid. What you want and don't want is valid. I don't know the full extent of the situation, but if you can take a few precautions then tell him to back the f off, do so. I hope that that will help you feel better(?) about the situation.

I really needed that, anon

Anonymous said: God I’m so sorry that this guy has been playing you that fucking SUCKS and you did NOTHING wrong and we’re very different people but I know the feeling of just feeling so violated over being touched and it’s just the worst UGH I hope this guy fucks off forever and things go back to being good and happy

It was really bad for a couple of days, honestly. I still get all shivery and gross when I think about it, but I’m getting better

Anonymous said: I hope everything works out for you. I wish you the best!!!!

It’s been rough. Haley and I talked to him about it yesterday, because before that, he didn’t know that I was onto him. I made an outline and everything, and I practiced the speech a bunch of times. I made it through the whole thing without breaking down or losing my temper, and he just sort of.... sat there for awhile, until Haley made him apologize. 

It was a really good apology. He said that he had justified the whole thing to himself, but now he understood that his actions were wrong, and he was sorry that he hurt me. I think it was genuine. He was visibly upset when he found out I’d been having panic attacks about it. 

On the one hand, I don’t think he’s a threat to me anymore. He won’t pull that shit again. On the other hand, we aren't talking to each other anymore, and he’s avoiding me. In all honesty, I appreciate that, but even though I know I shouldn’t, I feel guilty for hurting him.

Haley said that he cried a lot after I left. I know that doesn’t change anything. No matter how genuine his feelings towards me are, they don’t excuse his behavior. He manipulated me, and even if it was for honest-to-God-Disney-princess-True-Love, he had no excuse to violate my trust or my autonomy like that. 

I still feel guilty. I’m actively repressing the urge to call and see if he’s okay. I’m not gonna do it, but the urge is there. 

It’s just been.... a week. I don’t know, guys. I’m struggling.