#FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS (SO OBSESSED)
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It was an average Monday morning when you, Nanami Kento's wife, were turned into a cat.
"An unusual Curse," Shoko had said, "not longer than a week, surely--"
"Not--not longer than a week?!" Kento spluttered, his glasses lopsided, and, dangled in front of him beneath the arms (legs-- legs, he reminded himself)...you.
You, with two pointed ears, a long whippy tail, your many toe-beans and a perturbed little head-tilt. On the doctors' office couch, a neatly folded (if a little furry) pile of your clothes.
"Meow," you had said.
"Don't 'meow' me," Kento spluttered again, fixing you with a stern look that barely overlaid his concern. You simply stared up at him, long, and feline, and unblinking...and reached out one little paw, pressing it onto the end of his nose.
Kento sighed; a bone-deep, weary sigh. Shoko put out her cigarette, speaking through a haze of smoke.
"Like I said. Give it a week, and Mrs.Nyanyami will be back to nor--"
"What did you just call her?'
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Mrs.Nyanyami, the cat formerly known as Nanami Kento's wife, wanted for nothing.
"I think that tuna's more expensive than anything I've ever eaten," whispered Yuuji to Gojo. On the other side of the conference room, you sat upon the desk before Kento, waiting patiently for the next lump of tuna (meticulously cut into cat-appropriate cubes) to be delivered in his chopsticks.
As Kento's hand approached, you held it close with paw and claws, to steal the pink fish from him. He looked like a surgeon performing heart surgery.
"I just...dont know how he can look so serious while he's doing that," Gojo whispered back, to Yuuji's frantic nods. Still, they watched this freakish nature documentary with quiet obsession.
A higher-up sat down beside Kento, waiting for the meeting to begin. Jolting back, and grumbling, he did a double take.
"Young man-- you can't bring a cat to a Sorcerer's meeting--"
"That's not a cat," Kento snapped, frosty, "that's my wife."
And so began the rumour amongst the higher-ups, that Nanami Kento had gone mad.
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"You should leave her at home--"
"--absolutely not--"
"--really, Nanami...just put the television on, she'll be fine--"
"--unequivocally, no--"
"--why not?!"
Silence. An awkward shuffle on Kento's thick chest. You peeked your head out of the pocket of the cat-carrying hoodie that Kento wore over his shirt and tie, and turned to Gojo with narrowed eyes.
"Meow," you had said, batting at Kento's strings, and hooking his tie out with your paw, to kick it to death with your legs.
"I agree," said Kento, whispering and scratching you beneath the chin until you purred, "he's wrong, isn't he? Stupid Gojo. You'd get lonely. You'd get bored. Yes you would..."
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"Oh my god...he's gorgeous...you should get his number--"
"--I'm not brave enough...you go. I'll get our coffees."
"--okay, okay..." The woman cleared her throat, sweeping her hair behind one ear with her best smile. Kento looked up from his coffee, with one finely raised eyebrow.
"Can I help you?" He lied, unwilling to help anyone at all before he'd finished his croissant.
"Hi, yeah, I just...can't help but notice you're sitting alone, and my friend-- well she-- she just wondered if she can have your number, and--"
The woman broke off into shrieks. Climbing up her leg, all claws and furry vengeance, was you. She shook her leg, shrieking. You hissed. Your cup of steamed milk clattered over the table, slopping everywhere.
"--o-oh my god-- oh my god, what the hell is this cat doi--"
"I'm sorry," Kento sighed, not sorry at all and dabbing his mouth with a napkin and doing absolutely nothing to help, "it's my cat. She doesn't like company--"
Hisses. Claws. Dirty feral yowls.
"Get this fucking thing off me--"
"I can't take you anywhere. No more steamed milk for you."
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At times, you seemed so human. At others, undeniably cat.
Kento would wake to clattering from the kitchen, bleary and feeling around for you, only to remember, and trace his hand up to the furry, round little patch you'd leave behind on your pillow. He allowed himself just a moment of misery, before getting up.
He followed the sounds of cups and kettle and coffee machine, and leaned against the doorway with sleep-mussed hair and a squinting, teenagerish glare.
You were up on the counter, all four paws and determination. You had gotten as far as switching the kettle and coffee machine on, and heaving the cupboard open with your tiny limbs. Kento watched as you tipped your head sideways, managing to drag two mugs out in your teeth. He winced as they almost smashed upon the counter.
"Come on," Kento rumbled, his voice rusty with sleep, "let me do that."
You meowed at him, batting at the air with one angry paw when he stepped closer. Kento huffed, raising his hands in surrender.
"Fine," he tutted, "but I'll pour the water."
"Meow."
"Why? Because you don't have opposable thumbs, darling."
The fur stood up along your spine. You turned around, and around, in a circle, then sat upright. You turned your back on him while you waited for the kettle to boil. Your tail flicked from side to side, irritable. Kento waited, too, reaching out one hand to stroke your ears.
You nudged your back paw out, and pushed his mug off the side to smash on the floor.
Silence.
"...what is wrong with y--"
"Meow."
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Skitterskitterskitter.
Distant meows.
Kento groaned, rubbing down his face. He checked the clock, frog-blinking; two in the morning. He groaned harder.
Skitterskitterskitter.
Thunk.
More distant meows.
"Please just come back to bed," Kento moaned into the hands pressed over his face.
SkitterskitterskitterSKITTERSKITTER-- rustlllleerussstle--
Directly over his face.
"Meow--"
"I am begging you--"
RustlerustleTHNKskitterskitterskitter.
Distant meows.
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"I miss you."
You raised your head to look at him. Your purring hitched. Your ears tilted.
Kento had murmured, his low voice barely audible. The only light in the living room was the ever-changing light of the television screen. Laid on his back on the sofa, with you curled on his chest, Kento stroked down your back with longing.
You crept up his chest, pressing your cold wet nose to his, and purred. Nose to nose, and cross-eyed, Kento could have cried.
"I really miss you," he repeated, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Your claws dug into his chest, just a little. You rub, rub, rubbed your warm furry head along his jaw until he sniffled, and gave a choked little chuckle.
He fell asleep with you on his chest that night. In so many ways, it was familiar; home. In so many others, you were gone forever.
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"Meow."
Kento shuffled. His chest felt heavy...warm. His belly felt warm, too. And his lap, and--
Kento's eyes shot open, his head lifting up from the couch.
You bit your lip, naked on top of him, and smiling. Human. An angel.
"Oh, my love," Kento moaned, crushing you to him in a bear hug from shoulder to toes, "you're back-- I missed you, I was so worrie--"
You batted an arm out, swiping last night's wine glass from the coffee table beside you, to shatter on the floor.
Silence. Kento blinked slowly, looking from the wine glass, to you. You felt your cheeks grow hot, swallowing hard.
"God, I...sorry, Kento. Force-- force of habit--"
#pseudowho#pseudowho answers you#haitch#jjk#kento nanami#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#nanami fluff#Mrs.Nyanyami#What the fuck am I doing#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami#nanami fanart#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#kento nanami x y/n#nanamin
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Fruitloop Phantom
DP x DC Prompt
The Nasty Burger explosion happens, but when Danny is much older, it takes his family, friends, and countless others with it.
He is under Vlad's care for a few months, as he is 17 and still in school. Vlad is slowly getting worse and worse, caring for Danny is only slightly fulfilling his obsession, but not enough to keep the Fruitloop existing.
Dani had come rushing back to the Manor in Amity that Danny and Vlad share. Dani is destabilizing, and everything Danny and Vlad do isn't working. So Danny takes Dani to Frostbite.
One Ghost Doctor trip later, and a little interference from an old-time Ghost, Danny is in Gotham, looking for the Red Hood, as the revenants ectoplasm is needed to help Dani.
Danny and the Red Hood have a one night stand, Frostbite said that the only way to get the needed ectoplasm without harming the Red Hood is through sex, and Danny had been crushing on the 'Avenger of the Dead' after he had seen some images of the man. And since Danny is Trans, he is capable of hosting the new Halfa in his body.
Dani had been reborn, but not as the same girl she once was, as she is no longer a clone but a full person. Her new name is Elaine Jasmine Fenton. Vlad got to hold her once before the Fruitloop had passed on the next day, leaving Danny as the Heir to Dalv.co. Now, Danny has a company and the Infinite Realms/Ghost Zone to run.
A few years go by, and Elaine is almost 6. When Danny returns to Gotham to set up a branch of Dalv.co in the city, he just doesn't expect to run into the Red Hood again until the man saves their daughter from whoever decided that she was a new Wayne kid and brought her back to him(technically not wrong, but Danny doesn't know that).
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcu#batman#ghost king danny#dp crossover#dp x dc prompt#trans danny#dead on main
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The Idiot I Call Mine - Lando Norris x BestFriend! Reader
summary: best friends are supposed to share laughs, inside jokes, fries and the occasional late-night drive. what they’re not supposed to do is flirt like it’s a competitive sport or make you question every unspoken rule of friendship. at least, unless your name is Lando Norris apparently. (7.1k words)
content: fluff! friends to lovers; flirty dynamic; mutual pining
an: whaaat? a fic about another driver? yes loves. this is me coming forward as a secret Lando fan. I hope you'll enjoy as much as I did writing this :)
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Lando Norris has this annoying habit of always being right. It’s not even about anything important—it’s just little things. Like the time he guessed exactly how long it would take before I caved and ordered dessert, or when he said I’d end up watching a rom-com tonight even though I claimed I wanted “something deep and meaningful.”
“See?” he said smugly, leaning back on the couch as the opening credits of The Holiday played. “I know you better than you know yourself.”
“Hardly,” I shot back, tossing a piece of popcorn at him. “You just know I have a weak spot for Jude Law. That doesn’t make you psychic.”
“No, but it does make me an excellent best friend.” He winked, plucking the popcorn off his lap and popping it into his mouth like the show-off he was.
I rolled my eyes, pretending I wasn’t fighting a grin. Lando and I had been inseparable for years, the kind of best friends who finished each other’s sentences and shared a borderline unhealthy obsession with late-night McDonald’s runs. But lately, something had been… different.
Not bad, exactly. Just different. Maybe? I wasn’t even sure to be honest.
“You’re staring again,” Lando said, breaking into my thoughts. He was sprawled out on the couch, one arm draped over the backrest in a way that felt entirely too casual and yet completely deliberate. His green eyes sparkled with mischief, and his smirk was the kind that could make even the most confident person question their sanity.
“I wasn’t staring,” I lied, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in my mouth for good measure.
“You were absolutely staring,” he teased, leaning closer. “What’s on your mind, hmm? Thinking about how devastatingly handsome I am? It’s okay—you can admit it.”
“You’re such a joke,” I said, trying to sound unimpressed but failing miserably. “Devastatingly handsome? Please. You look like you just rolled out of bed.”
“Exactly,” he said, flashing a grin. “And yet, here you are, spending your Friday night with me. Interesting choice.”
“I’m here for the popcorn,” I deadpanned, though even I didn’t believe myself. “And because you begged me.”
“I didn’t beg,” he protested. “I suggested strongly. There’s a difference.”
This was us—lighthearted insults, jokes at each other’s expense, and an ease in our conversations that felt like home. If there was something different lately, I told myself it was just my imagination running wild.
“Speaking of choices,” I said, leaning back against the couch. “What’s the deal with you and your phone wallpaper?”
“What about it?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“Oh, come on, Lando,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “You really expect me to believe you just happened to pick a picture of me for your wallpaper?”
“It’s a great photo,” he said with a shrug. “You look happy. And let’s not pretend your wallpaper isn’t me.”
I froze, caught. He was right—my wallpaper was him, but that wasn’t the point.
“That’s different,” I said quickly. “You look stupid in yours. It’s funny.”
“Ah, so I’m your personal clown now?” he asked, his voice dripping with mock offense. “Good to know my humiliation brings you joy.”
“Always,” I said sweetly, tossing another piece of popcorn his way.
The movie played on in the background, but neither of us was really paying attention. We were too busy pushing each other’s buttons, like always.
“Hey,” Lando said after a while, his tone a little softer. “You’re coming to dinner at Mum’s next weekend, right?”
“Do I have a choice?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not really,” he said with a grin. “She’s already planning the menu. Something with pasta, probably. You know how she gets when you’re coming over.”
I smiled despite myself. His family had always treated me like one of their own, and his mum had a knack for making me feel special in ways that were both comforting and overwhelming.
“Well, in that case,” I said, pretending to think it over. “I guess I can clear my schedule.”
“Good,” he said, nudging me with his elbow. “I’d be bored without you there.”
It was moments like this—simple and familiar—that stuck with me longer than they should. The way he said things so casually, as if they didn’t carry any weight, even when they somehow did.
“You’ve got something on your face,” I said suddenly, trying to distract myself.
“Where?” he asked, leaning closer.
“Right there,” I said, tapping the corner of my mouth.
He smirked, deliberately licking the spot where I’d pointed. “Better?”
“Ugh, you’re insufferable,” I said, shoving him away. But I was laughing, and so was he.
“You love it,” he said, and for once, I didn’t argue. Because maybe I did.
As the night went on, the teasing continued, each remark more loaded than the last. By the time the credits rolled, I wasn’t sure if it was the movie or Lando’s lingering glances that had me feeling so off-kilter.
“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” he said, breaking the silence as he stood to clean up the popcorn bowl. “Something on your mind?”
“Just thinking,” I said vaguely, not meeting his gaze.
“About?” he pressed, leaning against the counter with a smirk that said he already knew the answer.
“Nothing important,” I said, grabbing my phone and pretending to scroll.
“Liar,” he said, his voice playful but probing. “You’re terrible at hiding things, you know that?”
I glanced up at him, my heart doing that annoying fluttery thing it had been doing lately. He was standing there like he had all the time in the world, his green eyes locked on mine, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe.
“Goodnight, Lando,” I said finally, brushing past him on my way to the couch.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he called after me, his voice laced with amusement.
…
“You know, for someone who claims to be an athlete, you spend an alarming amount of time eating,” I said, glancing at Lando over the top of my menu.
“Carbs are fuel,” he replied, flashing me a grin. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I understand that we could’ve gone somewhere normal instead of whatever this place is,” I said, gesturing to the overly fancy restaurant. The kind of place where the wine glasses sparkled brighter than the chandeliers, and the menu was full of words I couldn’t pronounce.
“You’re so ungrateful,” he teased, leaning back in his chair. “Do you know how hard it was to get a table here? I had to name-drop myself.”
“Wow,” I said dryly. “The struggle.”
“Exactly. And now you’re here, about to enjoy the finest pasta in town, thanks to me. A little gratitude wouldn’t kill you.”
“Gratitude? You dragged me here under false pretenses. You said this was a ‘low-key spot.’”
“It is low-key,” he argued, gesturing around. “For Monte Carlo standards.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the smile creeping onto my face. This was just how things were with Lando—effortless, easy, and borderline ridiculous.
“Alright, what are you getting?” Lando asked, lowering his menu.
“Fettuccine Alfredo,” I said without hesitation.
“Of course you are,” he said, smirking. “Predictable.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I shot back. “What are you getting, then? Something groundbreaking? Life-changing? Revolutionary?”
“Tagliatelle al tartufo,” he said with a mockingly posh accent.
“Wow,” I said, feigning awe. “Truffle pasta. You’re really pushing the boundaries, Norris.”
“Don’t be jealous just because I have sophisticated taste,” he replied, the smirk never leaving his face.
“‘Sophisticated’ is one way to put it,” I muttered, pretending to study the menu again. “Another is ‘pretentious.’”
“You’ll be begging for a bite,” he said confidently, setting the menu down.
“Please,” I said, scoffing. “You’ll be stealing mine before the plates even hit the table.”
He leaned forward, his grin widening. “You know me so well.”
The food arrived soon after, and, as predicted, we switched plates halfway through without even discussing it. It was second nature by now, like so many other things about us.
“You know,” Lando said, twirling a forkful of fettuccine, “if this whole racing thing doesn’t work out, I could be a food critic.”
“Sure,” I said, deadpan. “Because people are dying to know what Lando Norris thinks about pasta.”
“They would be,” he said, undeterred. “My palate is unparalleled.”
“Your palate consists of pizza, chicken nuggets, and whatever I’m eating,” I shot back.
“And yet, here we are,” he said, gesturing to the table. “Me, enjoying this culinary masterpiece, and you, enjoying my company. Life is good.”
It was shaping up to be another night of easy conversation and mindless teasing until a voice interrupted us.
“Lando?”
I looked up to see two women standing at the edge of our table. They were both tall, blonde, and effortlessly elegant, the kind of women who looked like they belonged in a magazine spread rather than real life.
“Oh, hey!” Lando said, his face lighting up in recognition.
I glanced at him, watching as his entire demeanor shifted ever so slightly. He straightened up, his grin widening just enough to make my stomach twist.
“We haven’t seen you in forever,” one of the women said, her smile bright and practiced.
“I know,” Lando said, leaning back in his chair like he had all the time in the world. “It’s been a while.”
“You look great,” one of them said, her smile bright as she leaned in a little too close.
“So do you,” Lando replied, his tone polite but just warm enough to make me suddenly very interested in my water glass. The conversation floated around me, full of laughter and inside jokes I didn’t understand.
“And who’s this?” one of them finally asked, her gaze flicking to me with polite curiosity.
“This is Y/N,” Lando said, gesturing toward me with a casualness that felt too deliberate. “My best friend.”
Best friend. There it was again.
“Nice to meet you,” I said, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes.
“Likewise,” she replied, her tone perfectly pleasant.
They didn’t linger much longer—just enough to leave their mark before excusing themselves with a wave and a promise to “catch up soon.”
“Old friends of yours?” I asked once they were gone, my voice light but with a slight edge.
“Something like that,” Lando said, taking a sip of his water.
“Something like that?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged, his smirk returning. “They’re sisters. I, uh… may have had a thing with both of them. At different times, obviously.”
My fork froze midair. “Both of them?”
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said, laughing. “It’s not that weird.”
“It’s incredibly weird,” I said, shaking my head.
“I mean, it didn’t overlap or anything,” he added, as if that somehow made it better. “But yeah… sisters.”
I stared at him, equal parts amused and horrified. “That’s… impressive? I guess?”
“Thank you,” he said, grinning like he’d just been handed an award. “Think I should call them again?”
“Sure,” I forced a laugh, stabbing at my pasta. “And then ask if they have any other sisters you might’ve missed.”
He chuckled, clearly oblivious to the sarcasm in my tone. “Good idea. Always room for a hat trick.”
My stomach churned uncomfortably, but I didn’t say anything. Instead, I focused on my plate, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way my mood had shifted.
…
The paddock was its usual chaotic self—teams rushing to prepare for practice sessions, fans peering over barriers for a glimpse of their favorite drivers, and media personnel darting between interviews. I decided to escape the madness for a bit, heading toward the staff catering building for a much-needed coffee.
The line was mercifully short, but as I joined it, I noticed someone already waiting near the front. Tall, dark-haired, and wearing a Ferrari polo with his name—Marco—stitched neatly on the chest. He turned slightly, catching my eye and offering a polite smile.
“Busy morning?” he asked, his tone warm and conversational.
“Something like that,” I replied with a small smile. “You?”
“Always,” he said with a soft chuckle. “But coffee makes it manageable, no?”
I nodded. “A universal truth.”
Marco stepped aside to let me order, a gesture so casual it almost went unnoticed. As I gave my order to the barista, I felt him glance at me again—not invasive, just curious.
“So, not Ferrari,” he said after I stepped back to wait for my coffee.
“Is it that obvious?” I joked.
“A little,” he admitted, his grin widening. “You’re far too relaxed to be one of us.”
“Should I be offended or flattered?” I asked, tilting my head playfully.
“Flattered,” he said easily. “Relaxed is a good thing.”
We fell into an easy rhythm as we waited. Marco was effortlessly charming, asking questions without prying and tossing in a few self-deprecating remarks about Ferrari’s chaos.
“You’re here with a team?” he asked eventually.
“A friend,” I said vaguely.
“Lucky friend,” he said, his tone light but genuine.
I laughed softly. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”
Marco opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, a familiar voice cut through the hum of conversation.
“There you are.”
I turned to see Lando approaching, his expression relaxed but his eyes sharper than usual.
“Hey,” I said, surprised. “I thought you were doing media.”
“Finished early,” he said, stepping closer. His gaze flicked briefly to Marco, who stood quietly by my side. “And I figured I’d find you here.”
“Good instincts,” I said lightly, though something about his sudden appearance felt… deliberate.
Marco offered his hand to Lando, ever polite. “Marco. Ferrari engineering.”
“Lando,” he replied, shaking his hand. “McLaren driving.”
Marco chuckled. “I know who you are. Good to meet you.”
“You too,” Lando said, his tone friendly but with an edge I couldn’t quite place.
The barista called my name, and I turned to grab my coffee, giving them a moment to exchange polite words. By the time I returned, Marco was stepping away with his own drink.
“Enjoy the rest of your day,” he said, offering me a small wave before disappearing into the crowd.
Lando watched him go before turning back to me. “Who was that?”
“Marco,” I said simply.
“And what was Marco talking to you about?” he asked, his tone too casual to be entirely innocent.
I raised an eyebrow. “Coffee, mostly. Why?”
“No reason,” he said quickly, taking a sip of my drink.
I studied him for a moment, noting the way his shoulders tensed ever so slightly. “You’re acting weird.”
“I’m not acting weird,” he said defensively.
“You’re definitely acting weird.”
Lando sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Alright, fine. I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, genuinely baffled.
“He was flirting,” Lando said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I blinked. “He was being nice.”
“Nice,” Lando repeated, his voice laced with skepticism. “Sure. That’s one way to put it.”
“Lando, he’s just a guy who works for Ferrari,” I said, shaking my head.
“Exactly,” he said, as if that proved his point.
There was a beat of silence as I processed his words.
“You sound jealous,” I said finally, testing the waters.
“Jealous?” he scoffed, though the flicker of something in his eyes gave him away. “Hardly. I just think you can do way better than some guy who chats you up in the coffee line.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?” he asked, smirking now.
“Yes,” I said firmly, though the warmth in my chest betrayed me.
We walked back toward the McLaren garage, his mood lightening with every step. By the time we arrived, he was back to his usual self—chatting with the mechanics and laughing at some joke I’d already missed.
But his words stayed with me, replaying in my mind as I sat down with my coffee. My coffee which Lando had somehow already drank half of.
…
The McLaren lounge was a rare oasis of calm in the chaos of a race weekend. Engineers hustled past the windows, radios crackled with updates, and somewhere in the distance, an engine roared to life. But in here, it was all plush couches, soft lighting, and a distinct lack of urgency.
I was curled up on one end of the couch, flipping through a magazine, while Oscar and Lando lounged on the other side. Lando, as usual, couldn’t sit still. He was draped sideways over the armrest, absently spinning a water bottle in his hands.
“Alright,” Lando announced, breaking the comfortable silence. “Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?”
I looked up from my magazine, narrowing my eyes. “That’s the best you’ve got?”
“It’s an important question,” he insisted, his grin wide and mischievous.
I pretended to ponder for a moment. “One horse-sized duck. Definitely.”
Lando gaped at me like I��d just declared something outrageous. “Terrible answer. Absolutely terrible.”
“It’s the smart answer,” I shot back, sitting up straighter. “You outmaneuver one big target instead of exhausting yourself trying to wrangle a hundred tiny ones.”
“Do you even know how terrifying a horse-sized duck would be?” Lando asked, his voice rising in mock disbelief.
“And do you know how terrifying a hundred duck-sized horses would be?” I countered, raising an eyebrow.
Lando leaned forward, his grin widening. “Oh, come on. You’re telling me you’d rather face one giant, angry duck with a wingspan bigger than this couch?”
“Absolutely,” I said confidently. “Ducks aren’t that scary.”
“They can bite, you know,” he shot back, gesturing dramatically. “One snap, and you’re done for.”
I smirked, leaning closer. “I think I’d survive. Besides, I have a secret weapon.”
“What’s that?” he asked, his eyes narrowing playfully.
“You,” I said, deadpan. “I’ll just toss you in its path and run.”
Lando gasped, clutching his chest in mock betrayal. “Wow. That’s cold, Y/N. I thought we were a team.”
“We are,” I said, grinning. “But only if you pick the right answer next time.”
For a moment, he was quiet, his grin faltering just slightly as he met my gaze. It wasn’t much, just a flicker of something softer beneath the banter. But it was enough to make my stomach do that annoying little flip I’d been trying to ignore.
“Lando,” Oscar interjected, his tone casual but pointed. “You’re staring.”
“I am not,” Lando said quickly, his ears turning the faintest shade of pink as he looked away.
“You are,” Oscar said, leaning back with a smirk.
“You’re imagining things,” Lando muttered, crossing his arms.
Oscar snorted but didn’t press the issue, instead grabbing his phone and scrolling through it idly. But the look he shot Lando wasn’t lost on me—or Lando, for that matter.
As the banter settled into silence, I decided to grab a drink from the catering area, leaving the two of them alone.
The moment the door swung shut behind me, Oscar struck. “Mate, you’re not exactly subtle, you know.”
“About what?” Lando asked, feigning innocence as he fidgeted with the water bottle.
Oscar didn’t even look up from his phone. “About Y/N.”
“What about her?”
Oscar set his phone down, leveling Lando with a knowing look. “You’re acting like a lovesick puppy every time she’s around.”
Lando scoffed, though the tips of his ears betrayed him again. “That’s ridiculous. We’re just friends.”
“Sure,” Oscar said, dragging out the word like he was savoring it. “That’s why you light up like a Christmas tree whenever she walks in the room.”
“I do not,” Lando said defensively, but his voice lacked conviction.
“You do,” Oscar replied, leaning back with an exaggerated sigh. “Mate, you’re glaring holes into the back of her head every time she talks to someone else. And don’t even get me started on how you were watching her during the duck-and-horse debate like she’d just solved world peace.”
“That’s—” Lando started, then stopped, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not like that.”
“Right,” Oscar said, his smirk firmly in place. “It’s exactly like that, but go off.”
Lando opened his mouth, then closed it again, clearly searching for the right words. “It’s… we’ve known each other forever. It’s Y/N.”
Oscar nodded, as if that made sense, but his smirk didn’t waver. “Don’t you think it would be time to change that soon? You two are exhausting.”
Lando shot him a look, but there was no real heat behind it.
“I’m just saying,” Oscar said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “You’re completely gone for her. Admit it already.”
Lando groaned, leaning back against the couch and running a hand through his hair. “You’re the worst, you know that?”
“Yeah,” Oscar said, grinning now. “But I’m right.”
Lando didn’t respond, his gaze drifting to the door where I’d just left. And for the first time, he let himself wonder if maybe—just maybe—Oscar was onto something.
…
The moment we walked into George’s celebration, the energy hit like a wave. The room was packed with familiar faces—drivers, engineers, and friends—dressed to the nines in that effortless way people in motorsport always seemed to manage. String lights twinkled across the ceiling, soft jazz played over the speakers, and a steady hum of conversation filled the air.
“You’re going to owe me for this,” I teased, glancing at Lando. “Dragging me here after wasting twenty minutes deciding between two identical shirts.”
“They weren’t identical,” Lando replied with a roll of his eyes, his hand resting lightly on the small of my back as we weaved through the crowd. “One had a darker stitch.”
“Completely life-changing,” I said dryly, though I couldn’t help the small smile tugging at my lips.
“See? You get it,” he shot back with a grin, steering us toward a booth near the bar.
The way his hand lingered, warm and steady, was something I tried not to think too much about. It was just Lando being Lando—playful, touchy, and completely oblivious to the little flips my stomach insisted on doing whenever he leaned too close.
We found our way to a booth not far from the bar, where Alexandra and Charles were already seated. Charles was gesturing animatedly about something, while Alexandra sat with her usual poised grace, sipping champagne. When she saw us, her face lit up.
“Enfin, vous êtes là !” Alexandra exclaimed, waving us over. (Finally, you’re here!)
“Lando a changé de chemise trois fois,” I replied, throwing him a look. (Lando changed his shirt three times.)
Charles chuckled, leaning back with a smirk. “Toujours dramatique, hein ?” (Always dramatic, huh?)
“English,” Lando whined as we slid into the booth. “You’re ganging up on me in French. It’s not fair.”
“Pauvre bébé,” I teased, patting his arm lightly. (Poor baby.)
“Whatever that means,” he muttered, though the grin tugging at his lips made it clear he wasn’t upset.
The conversation flowed easily between the four of us. Lando, of course, dominated the chatter, weaving an elaborate story about George’s awkward rookie days. His expressions were so animated, his gestures so over-the-top, that even Charles—usually the calm and composed one—was cracking up by the end.
“That’s not true,” I said, nudging Lando with my elbow. “You’re exaggerating again.”
“I’m not!” he protested, his green eyes wide with mock innocence. “It’s all true. Every word.”
“Sure it is,” I replied, raising an eyebrow.
“Back me up here!” he said, turning to Charles.
Charles raised a brow, taking a deliberate sip of his drink. “I wasn’t there, but… I wouldn’t put it past him.”
Alexandra laughed softly, glancing at me. “Toujours l’acteur dramatique, ce Lando.” (Always the drama actor, that Lando.)
“Hey,” Lando said, pointing at her. “I know that wasn’t a compliment.”
I smirked, leaning closer. “It absolutely wasn’t.”
He gasped dramatically, his hand over his chest. “Betrayed by my own friends. I’ll never recover.”
“You’ll survive,” I said, brushing him off, though the warmth in his gaze lingered just a beat too long.
Lando eventually excused himself to grab drinks, leaving me to chat with Alexandra and Charles. As soon as he was out of earshot, Alexandra leaned in, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Il est tellement évident qu’il a un faible pour toi,” she said softly, her voice full of amusement. (It’s so obvious he has a thing for you.)
“Quoi?” I asked, my cheeks heating instantly. (What?)
“Ouvre les yeux,” she said, smirking. (Open your eyes.)
Charles chuckled, sipping his drink as he watched the exchange. “C’est écrit partout sur son visage.” (It’s written all over his face.)
“Stop,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re imagining things.”
Alexandra raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue, her expression saying everything her words didn’t.
At the bar, Lando was cornered by Carlos, who leaned casually against the counter, his expression smug.
“You know,” Carlos said, his tone casual, “you’re not very subtle.”
“What are you talking about?” Lando asked, though his focus kept drifting toward the booth where I was sitting.
Carlos raised his drink, gesturing toward me. “You’ve been staring at her all night, hermano. Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”
Lando stiffened, his grin faltering. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Just tell her,” Carlos said, swirling his drink lazily.
“It’s not that simple,” Lando replied, his voice quieter now.
Carlos raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”
“Because if I mess this up, I lose her,” Lando admitted, glancing toward our booth.
Carlos tilted his head, studying him. “You’re scared. That’s what this is.”
“Of course I’m scared,” Lando muttered, running a hand through his hair. “She’s my best friend. If it doesn’t work—”
“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Carlos interrupted, his voice softer now. “But you’d better do something soon.”
Carlos’s smirk softened slightly, but before Lando could reply, Liam Lawson appeared at the bar.
“Who’s the girl with Charles and Alexandra?” Liam asked, nodding toward the booth. “She single?”
Carlos grinned mischievously. “Yeah, she is—go for it.”
Lando’s head snapped toward Carlos, his glare sharp enough to cut glass. “Carlos.”
“What?” Carlos said, feigning innocence. “Just giving the kid a shot.”
…
Liam approached with the kind of confidence that only a Red Bull driver could pull off.
“Hey,” he said, sliding into the seat across from me. “You’re Y/N, right?”
I blinked, momentarily surprised but recovering quickly. “That’s me. And you are?”
“Liam Lawson,” he said, extending a hand.
I shook it, his grip firm but not overbearing. “Nice to meet you.”
“How do you know George?” he asked, leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on the table as if he had all the time in the world.
“Through Lando,” I replied, keeping my tone polite but measured. His easy demeanor was almost disarming, but there was something about the way he looked at me that made me hyper-aware of my surroundings.
“Ah, Lando,” he said with a soft chuckle. “Lucky guy. You two seem pretty close.”
“We’ve been friends for a long time,” I said simply, taking a sip of my drink and trying not to overthink his comment.
“Well,” he said, tilting his head slightly, “his loss if he hasn’t made a move yet.”
That caught me off guard. My gaze flicked to his, searching for any hint of a joke, but he was entirely serious—or at least good at pretending to be.
“Excuse me?” I asked, my voice betraying my surprise.
Liam grinned wider, clearly enjoying himself. “Just saying. If I were him, I wouldn’t be sitting over there, letting someone else steal your attention.”
The comment was bold, and I didn’t quite know how to respond. My thoughts were a mess of confusion, flattery, and something else I didn’t want to name. Before I could formulate a response, the familiar sound of Lando’s voice cut through the air.
“Liam,” he said smoothly, stepping up to the table. His tone was calm, but his green eyes held a sharpness that made me sit up a little straighter.
Liam glanced up, raising an eyebrow. “What’s up?”
“Christian’s looking for you,” Lando said, his tone casual but firm. “Something about debrief notes.”
Liam frowned, clearly reluctant. “Now?”
“Yeah,” Lando said, nodding. “He seemed pretty keen.”
Liam hesitated, his gaze flicking between me and Lando like he was weighing his options. Finally, he sighed, pushing himself to his feet. “Alright. Nice meeting you, Y/N.”
“You too,” I replied, watching him leave with a mixture of relief and something I couldn’t quite pin down.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Lando lingered for a moment, his hands shoved into his pockets as he avoided my gaze.
“That,” Charles said, his tone thick with amusement, “was the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.”
Lando shot him a glare, his ears turning faintly red. “Mind your own business, Charles.”
Charles just smirked, raising his glass in mock surrender. “Whatever you say.”
I didn’t say anything, but a flicker of suspicion settled in the back of my mind.
Had Lando just…? No. That would be ridiculous. Wouldn’t it?
��Let’s get a drink,” Alexandra said, pulling me to my feet.
…
As Alexandra and I made our way back toward the booth, she nudged me gently, her eyes glinting with curiosity.
“Lando looked like he was about to breathe fire earlier,” she said casually, sipping her drink.
I laughed softly, trying to deflect. “He’s always protective. It’s nothing.”
“Protective?” Alexandra repeated, raising an eyebrow. “That was not protective, chérie. That was jealousy.”
I opened my mouth to respond but stopped short as we neared the booth, Lando and Charles’s voices filtering through the hum of the room.
“It will just be awkward, mate,” Lando said, his tone low and almost resigned.
“Just talk about it,” Charles replied simply.
“It’s not that simple,” Lando muttered. “She will never be more than just a friend.”
The words hit me like a punch to the stomach. My chest tightened, and the air around me seemed to still. Alexandra’s hand touched my arm gently, but I barely noticed.
“I— I need some air,” I managed, turning away before she could respond.
The ache in my chest grew with every step I took, his words echoing in my head.
She will never be more than just a friend.
And just like that, everything I thought I’d imagined felt painfully real.
…
I turned my phone face down on the table at Gigi’s, willing myself not to glance at the screen again. The missed calls from Lando were piling up, his name lighting up my notifications every half hour like clockwork. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to him—I did. But every time I thought about his voice, his laugh, his damn words, the ache in my chest tightened.
She will never be more than just a friend.
I shook my head, forcing the thought away as the waiter arrived with my order. The smell of rich, cheesy pasta wafted up, comforting in the way only food could be. I twirled a forkful absentmindedly, hoping the carbs would somehow fill the space that had been hollowed out the night before.
The familiar growl of an engine outside pulled my attention from my plate. I glanced toward the window and froze.
The unmistakable silhouette of Lando’s Miura parked just outside, sleek and shining even under the soft glow of streetlights. A moment later, the door opened, and there he was, stepping out effortless as usual—but his expression wasn’t the easygoing grin I was used to. He looked… worried.
Before I could decide what to do, he spotted me through the window, his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. He pushed through the door, his eyes locking onto mine immediately.
“There you are,” he said, relief evident in his tone as he approached my table.
I blinked, caught off guard. “Lando? What are you doing here?”
He pulled out the chair across from me, sitting down without asking. “Looking for you.”
My heart twisted. “Why?”
“Because you’ve been ignoring me all day,” he said, his voice quieter now.
I looked away, focusing on my fork. “I had my phone off that’s all.”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, studying me with an intensity that made my skin prickle.
“I knew I’d find you here,” he said finally, his voice softer but steady.
I glanced up, frowning. “What?”
“You always turn to cheesy Italian food when you’re upset,” he said with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s your thing.”
The casual observation caught me off guard, a mix of warmth and frustration bubbling in my chest.
“So what?” I said, my tone sharper than I intended. “You’re some kind of expert on me now?”
He sighed, leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table. “Y/N, I know you better than anyone. And I know something’s wrong.”
I didn’t answer, twisting my fork in the pasta and pretending to be engrossed in my meal. But the usual comfort it brought was absent, replaced by the uncomfortable weight of his gaze.
“You’re not yourself,” Lando said after a moment, his voice quieter now. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly, my tone clipped.
“Don’t lie to me,” he replied, his tone more serious than I was used to.
I set my fork down, the clink of metal against porcelain louder than it should have been. “Maybe I just don’t feel like talking.”
His eyes softened, his frustration giving way to concern. “Y/N…”
“Lando, I’m fine,” I interrupted, though the words felt hollow.
He didn’t push further, but I could see the gears turning in his head. He sat back, glancing down at my half-finished plate of pasta before gesturing to the waiter.
“Can we get the check, please?” he asked, pulling out his wallet.
I frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Paying,” he said simply, standing as the waiter approached.
“For me?”
“Yes,” he said, looking down at me with an expression I couldn’t quite read. “Come on.”
“Come on where?” I asked, my brow furrowing.
“You’ll see,” he said, extending a hand.
I hesitated for a moment before letting him pull me to my feet.
The warm night air hit us as we stepped out of Gigi’s, the soft sound of waves in the distance mingling with the faint hum of the city. Lando didn’t say anything, his grip on my hand firm but gentle as he led me toward Larvotto Beach, just a short walk away.
“Lando, seriously,” I said as we reached the sand. “What’s going on?”
He stopped, turning to face me, his green eyes brighter under the moonlight.
“We need to talk.” he said simply.
And just like that, my heart started racing, even though I had no idea what he was going to say.
The beach stretched out before us, quiet except for the rhythmic crash of waves against the shore. The city lights glittered faintly in the distance, their reflection dancing on the dark water. Lando walked beside me, his shoulders tense, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets.
For once, I didn’t fill the silence. I didn’t trust myself to. My thoughts were a whirlwind—last night’s overheard words still fresh in my mind, colliding with the unexpected intensity of this moment.
We walked like that for a while, the sand soft beneath our feet, until Lando came to a sudden stop. He turned to face me, his green eyes catching the moonlight in a way that made my stomach twist.
“I don’t even know where to start,” he said, running a hand through his hair.
I crossed my arms, my heart pounding so loudly I was sure he could hear it. “Try the beginning.”
He huffed out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “The beginning’s too far back. I’d be here all night.”
“Good thing I don’t have anywhere else to be,” I said, my voice quieter than I intended.
For a moment, he just looked at me, his expression softening. “Y/N, I have a lot of friends. Like, a lot of friends.”
I blinked, confused. “Okay?”
“But none of them get to me the way you do,” he said, his voice dropping.
I stared at him, my breath catching. “What are you saying?”
He glanced out at the water, like he was searching for courage in the rolling waves. “I mean… you’re not just anyone to me. You never have been. You’re the first person I think of when something happens—good or bad. And the idea of upsetting you? It’s unbearable.”
My throat tightened as his words sank in.
“Like today,” he continued, his voice cracking slightly. “You ignored my calls, and I couldn’t stop thinking about whether I’d done something wrong. Whether I hurt you somehow. Because if I did…” He stopped, exhaling sharply, and shook his head. “I can’t stand the thought of you being upset because of me.”
I didn’t respond, too caught up in the flood of emotions his words were pulling from me.
“When you’re upset, it breaks my heart,” he admitted, his voice softer now. “And when you laugh… it’s like my entire day gets brighter. When you’re sad, it feels like my world’s falling apart.”
“Lando,” I started, but he held up a hand, shaking his head.
“I’m not done,” he said, his words tumbling out now, faster and more frantic. “I’ve been feeling like this for so long, and I thought I could just push it aside or pretend it didn’t matter, but it does. It matters so much. And if I messed up—if I’ve ruined this somehow—I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“You didn’t—”
“I’m in love with you,” he blurted, his eyes locking onto mine. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now, but I’ve been too scared to admit it. And I know this might change everything, but I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way.”
I froze, his confession slamming into me with the force of a tidal wave.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know if this makes sense. I just… I can’t lose you, Y/N.”
Without thinking, I stepped closer, grabbed his face, and kissed him.
For a second, he was completely still, caught off guard. But then he kissed me back, his hands slipping to my waist as he pulled me closer. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, but it deepened quickly, making the world around me disappear.
When we finally pulled apart, his forehead rested against mine, both of us catching our breath.
“So… I’m guessing you feel the same?” he asked, a small, nervous smile tugging at his lips.
“You’re so slow sometimes,” I murmured, shaking my head with a laugh.
“Is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes,” I said, smiling.
The relief on his face was almost comical. He pulled me into a hug, his arms wrapping around me tightly like he never wanted to let go.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long,” he murmured into my hair.
“And I’ve wanted to hear it,” I admitted, my voice muffled against his chest.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his brow furrowing slightly. “But… yesterday. Did I say something? Did I—”
I hesitated, my stomach twisting. “I overheard you talking to Charles.”
His face paled. “Oh.”
“You said I’d never be more than a friend,” I said, my voice wavering.
Lando winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “God, Y/N, that’s not how I meant it at all. I said that because I thought I didn’t stand a chance. Like… you’re so important to me, and I didn’t want to mess up what we already had by wanting something I thought I could never have.”
He looked at me with a mix of regret and hope. “I’m an idiot. It wasn’t because I didn’t want more—it’s because I didn’t think I could have it.”
“You are an idiot,” I said, my lips twitching into a small smile. “But you’re my idiot.”
He laughed softly, shaking his head. “Yours, huh? Bold claim.”
I tilted my head, my grin widening. “Think you can find someone else to deal with you the way I do?”
He raised an eyebrow, stepping closer. “Deal with me? You mean worship my charm and tolerate my perfection?”
“Oh, please,” I shot back, rolling my eyes. “The only thing I’m worshipping is the patience I’ve built up putting up with you.”
His hands slid to my waist, pulling me slightly closer, his smirk turning more mischievous. “You love me. Admit it.”
“Not a chance,” I said, even as my pulse quickened.
His gaze dropped to my lips for the briefest moment before meeting my eyes again, his voice softening but still teasing. “You’re a terrible liar, you know.”
Before I could respond, he closed the gap, kissing me again with a fierceness that took me by surprise. This wasn’t the hesitant, nervous kiss from before. It was confident, teasing, like everything we’d been holding back had finally snapped into place.
I kissed him back, my fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt to pull him closer. His hands tightened on my waist, grounding me as he smiled against my lips, murmuring, “Still denying it?”
I broke the kiss just long enough to catch my breath, raising an eyebrow. “You think one kiss is going to make me fold?”
“Two,” he said smugly, leaning in for another without waiting for an answer.
I rolled my eyes but didn’t stop him, meeting him halfway this time. His lips curved into a grin mid-kiss, and I could feel his stupid, insufferable smugness radiating off him.
“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” I asked when we pulled apart, my voice laced with mock annoyance.
“Unbelievably,” he replied, his grin widening as he rested his forehead against mine. “And don’t pretend you’re not.”
“Maybe I am,” I admitted, smirking. “But if you keep talking, I might start regretting it.”
He laughed, pulling me closer. “Alright, no more talking. For now.”
“Good,” I said, leaning in again, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore fading into the background as everything else fell away.
The weight of everything unsaid was gone, replaced by the warmth of realizing we’d both been fighting our way toward the same truth: we’d always belonged to each other.
When we broke apart, Lando’s grin turned mischievous, and I immediately knew he was up to something. Before I could react, he scooped me up effortlessly and started toward the water.
“Lando! Don’t you dare!” I shrieked, squirming in his arms as laughter bubbled out of me.
“Payback for all those times you called me an idiot,” he teased, stopping just as the waves lapped at his shoes.
He finally set me down, his smirk smug and unapologetic. “Admit it. You love me anyway.”
Figures. I’m in love with someone who steals my fries and once confidently argued that dolphins were just “sea dogs.” I wouldn’t have it any other way though.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando x reader#lando x you#lando norris one shot#lando norris imagine#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine
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What they think - Kim Mingyu
Summary: Mingyu wasn't supposed to fall in love but he did anyways, he fell hard for you; his sugar baby, who waits desperately in his hotel room with open arms and open legs.
Warnings: Idol au, Sugar daddy!Mingyu x sugar baby!reader, dom! Mingyu, sub!reader, heavy degradation, choking,spit kink, cum play, creampie, overstimulation, oral sex (m receiving), fingering, tit play.
Word count: 3.5 k
Minors don't interact , if the tags make you uncomfortable don't interact.
Mingyu loved how submissive and obedient you were for him, his one glance and you are already falling down to your knees, your eyes were always silently begging for him to use you and disregard you as soon as his desire for your body is fulfilled.
Mingyu didn't understand how someone could be like you; a complete pushover, he calls you that in his head. No matter how much he pushes you back, no matter how much he tells you he's just using you for your body, you crawl back to him, you look at him like you have seen the night sky for the first time in your life, you look at Mingyu like you are in love with him.
And it scares Mingyu to death, you weren't supposed to fall for him neither does he, your contract stated it in bold letters no falling in love, still both of you were breaking each layer of indifference everyday. He wasn't supposed to cook breakfast for you, he wasn't even supposed to sleep in same bed as you but he did anyways, he's doing it since months.
Mingyu sometimes remember how you bounced into his life, he wonders how his life would be peaceful if he never listened to his best friend Jeonghan and went on a date he arranged for him, not just any ordinary date; a fucking date with potential sugar baby.
Still he couldn't blame Jeonghan completely, his friend was tired of him finding new girl to take to his room every weekend, having one night stands sometimes without signing the NDAs. He was putting his whole group reputation to risk cause' he wasn't to fill the gap in his chest by one night stands or drugs. Mingyu was exhausted with the monotonous and tiring life he was living, he wasn't the same person he was years ago.
Deep down Jeonghan knew Mingyu was yearning for romantic connection but he also knew his friend has gone fully pessimistic and bitter regarding love, years of empty failed connections turned the hopeless romantic golden retriever to complete walking red flag.
So all Jeonghan could do was visit some sketchy sugar daddy site and register anonymous date for Mingyu. He didn't wanted get his group's reputation tarnish just cause' a member can't keep it to his pants.
When Mingyu saw you for the first time at the restaurant, he felt like his whole body was attacked with tiny needles, his heart thumping rapidly, he didn't knew why the hell he was having such a visceral reaction by simply looking at you he just knew you were the most beautiful women he has ever laid eyes on.
That happened eight months ago, eight months since Mingyu is trying hard to not spill his feelings to you like a stupid highschool boy. Whenever he sees you , he feels the same sensation he felt the first time he saw you but now he was able to name that feeling; it was love. Pure filthy obsessive love . He wanted you in every possible way but he was afraid. He was afraid of what some of his psycho fans would do to you once your relationship became public, just imagining that makes his skin crawl and blood boil.
Mingyu had endless adoration, love and admiration for you, he knew most of your secrets which you spilled unknowingly during druken late night conversations, he knew why you were forced to be in that stupid website and how much of shit you had gone through. He knew you shine so bright cause' you are trying to hide the darkness residing in you.
Mingyu can't make you go through a forever hell just to be with you, just cause' of his own selfish desires. Being with him meant constant jabs thrown on you, having sasengs following you everywhere you go, your privacy and rights getting stripped of you and your life struggles and traumas being talk of world.
Mingyu knew you don't deserve that, you deserve kind, soft and peaceful kind of love which you were made for receiving but at the same time Mingyu was a slave to his feelings, he couldn't let you go, atleast not yet, atleast not until the contract expires and when he does he's gonna make you sign a new one.
You are Kim Mingyu's muse..
Mingyu was rushing to his hotel room after the concert ended thirty minutes ago, usually the concert adrenaline makes him want to party and get wasted at some bar with his members but everything has changed since you came to his life . He couldn't wait to reach his room cause you would be there, welcoming him with open arms and open legs.
Back in hotel room, you were waiting for Mingyu desperately, playing with hem of your short skirt which was there for mere decoration, for Mingyu to rip it off your body. The memories from last night were making you hazy and lightheaded, Mingyu overstimulated you till you were screaming for him to stop, you looked around your hotel room, remembering how he relentlessly fucked you on each furniture even on that damn cold floor. You lightly touch your neck, hissing sharply as your fingers ram across the hickeys Mingyu painted your neck with. You were doing anything to stop yourself by taking the pillow from behind and hump against it like a bitch in heat like Mingyu calls you.
You were a little too deep in your fantasy land when you heard the sound doorknob opening, a smile made it's way on your face as you jumped off the bed and ran to Mingyu hugging him tightly, clinging to him like a koala bear.
"Missed you daddy so fucking much" you whispered against Mingyu's chest, littering the fabric with kisses. Mingyu felt his heart swelling up on your simple adorable action, his hand engulfing you into a tight embrace, your body fiting perfectly with his, like two missing puzzle pieces coming together.
"Daddy missed his little angel too babe" Mingyu said as he held your chin with his index finger and thumb and slowly bringing his lips close to yours and kissing you like he's been away from you since forever, his hand wrapped around neck and cheek as he deepened the kiss, his tongue licking your bottom lip ever so slowly asking for access even he didn't have to, he could take your body, mouth as he pleases , you smiled into the kiss letting his tongue wonder inside your mouth, you could feel Mingyu's desperation as the kiss deepened.
Your lipgloss was smeared all along your face, wads of spit falling down as Mingyu took your mouth hungrily, he pushed your body closer to his, grinding his growing bulge against you.
"So fucking beautiful" Mingyu said as he broke the kiss to get a good look of your face, his eyes carrying passion of madman, lust growing heavily, you felt your knees giving up as he eye-fucked you.
Giving you one final kiss, Mingyu ran his tongue in your left cheek, the mere action making you let out a whiny moan.
"On your knees" Mingyu ordered, his hand gripping your shoulder and softly pushing you down onto the cold floor.
"You look so pretty like this" Mingyu smiled deviously as he rubbed his spit across your face, his cock straining painfully in his trousers, your messed up face was best view of his life. you should have felt disgusted, dirty but you felt incredibly turned out and wet, your panties sticking to your folds as you were clenching your thighs, mind clouded with heavy pleasure.
"Open up" Mingyu tugged your lower lip with his thumb and suddenly a glob of spit hit your cheek, you knew damn well he missed landing spit in your mouth for his own sadistic pleasure.
"I won't miss this time babe, now open up wide for daddy" Mingyu said his voice laced up with fake sympathy. "Say aahh"
"aahh"
Mingyu spit straight into your mouth, you got the urge to swallow it immediately but Mingyu had taught you better than that, wait till he gives you green light.
"swallow" Mingyu groaned, as started undoing his belt, his cock begging him to use your mouth and chase his high .
You swallowed Mingyu's spit and he didn't wait no further, his hand made it's way to your head, gathering your open hair into a ponytail and gripping it tightly while his other hand held his cock and was smearing his precum on your lips before shoving half of his length down your throat in a quick motion, the action making you moan, sending vibrations down his length.
"My little cock slut, always desperate for cock" Mingyu groaned as he bopped your head upon his cock, his pace being cruel, that's what you absolutely loved about Mingyu, the way he fucked you like a toy, you loved how absolutely feral he was for you, you knew only you had this effect on him.
"It's like your throat was made for sucking and gagging on my cock, that's the only purpose you have Y/N being my human fleshlight" Mingyu's tone was ice cold laced up with desperation nevertheless his degrading words made your pussy dripping with arousal, you swear you could cum by his words alone, the way he thrusting into your mouth made your brain hazy with pleasure. Tears and snort running down your face and dripping into curve of your breasts, the sight making Mingyu lose his mind completely.
"I am gonna cum in this slutty mouth, if you waste even one single drop I am gonna make you lick it off the floor, understand?"
You let out a muffled yes, hollowing your cheeks and sucking his cock harder, your grip on Mingyu's thigh tightened as you looked at him desperately, not caring even a bit regarding the burn you felt at back of your throat, jaw sore from accommodating his large length.
"Take it, fucking good girl" Mingyu moaned as he spilled his cum in your arching thorat, white spurs of cum painting your mouth, he let out hiss as he felt you giving his dick a kitten lick, he pulled out, releasing rest of his cum onto your nose and cheeks, you being covered in his essence satisfying the animalistic urge inside him.
You swallowed Mingyu's cum happily like it was something sacred, afterall you indeed worshipped Mingyu, you licked your lips and held your tongue out showing him evidence of your obedience, he smirked looking at you as he scooped the remaining cum which he painted onto your face by his fingers and shoved them inside your mouth, you needed no command to suck them clean.
Mingyu kneeled down, looking at you with insatiable hunger, even though he just had his cock sucked down so good he was hard again, with you it was never enough .
"hands up" Mingyu commands and you obeyed in a blink of second not caring the ache in your muscles.
Mingyu removed your pink crop top and threw it somewhere carelessly, he wasn't surprised to find you braless as your hard nipples were already poking out since the moment he got here. His palm grabbed your left breast pinching the sensitive bud between his fingers, you whimpered, electricity running in your veins.
"So pretty" Mingyu murmured to himself as he started playing with your tits , kneading the soft flesh mercilessly, his lips made it's way to your neck, sucking on to the same hickey he gave you last night, you felt your whole body was burning with pleasure but it wasn't enough, he wasn't giving your cunt any attention.
"Daddy please... touch me" you whimpered helplessly, earning a raised eyebrow from Mingyu.
"But I am touching you angel, aren't I?" Mingyu said in a mocking tone. Fucking pretentious asshole you thought to yourself.
"Touch my pussy daddy.. please it hurts" you said, not giving two fucks about how pathetic you sound , you knew Mingyu loved having you beg like this, he stripped you off any shame and innocence you felt months ago. What Mingyu made you was in simple words his cock hungry whore.
"Aww it hurts? " Mingyu cooed as his palm landed a sharp slap against your pussy, making your whole body jerk up with sudden ecstasy, you were still on your knees and would have fell off on your head if it wasn't for Mingyu holding you tightly against him as he landed another harsh hit to your pussy, his rough palm being covered with your glistening juices.
"Daddyy" you cried out as you felt Mingyu pinching your clit harshly.
"You wanted me to touch your cum hole right, I am doing it so why are you being ungrateful now, you little whore"
You swear you could have cum right then and there, his words sending sharp vibrations to your cunt, you didn't knew which unhealed part of you, yearned to have Mingyu treat you so roughly but whatever it was you loved it, your pleasure was overwhelming your senses. Each of Mingyu's touch making you shudder.
"Daddy please—Make me cum—please" you begged as you grinded your pussy on Mingyu's open palm, feeling desperate for some sort of stimulation. His one finger was enough for you to reach your orgasm.
Your begging might have pleased Mingyu as he got up and wiped his hand onto your boob and gave you muttered quick stand up.
"Get onto the bed, hurry up if you don't want me to take you again on the floor" Mingyu said as he removed his t-shirt and pants, standing before you like a sculpted statue , every part of him screamed perfection, his skin perfect, his abs? You wish you could ride them, his biceps? You wished he headlocks you while taking you from behind.
You laid down on your back, eyeing Mingyu hungrily as he walked towards you, his tall frame engulfing you completely, he crawled on to the bed, sitting between your legs and pulling them apart in swift motion.
"Look at this desperate pussy begging to be filled up with cum" Mingyu said to himself as he ran his middle finger between your folds, parting them ever so slowly and spitting directly onto your clit, the lewd action drawing out a moan from you.
Mingyu shoved two of his fingers into your cunt, the pooling wetness making it easier for him to move and scissor them around easily, his thumb toyed with your clit, as his digits worked relentlessly inside your walls, pressing down your gummy walls.
" Your tiny cunt remains tiny no matter how many times it gets fucked, even if I fist you today it would again tighten up tomorrow like a virgin hole" Mingyu groaned as you clenched furiously around his digits, the prospect of him fucking his entire fist inside you making you spiral. He knew you were close by the way your walls were clenching so tight around his, afraid of him ruining your much awaited orgasm.
But Mingyu wasn't cruel like that , edging didn't interest him slight a bit, he was a giver and making you cum again and again is what he loved. He loved how sensitive you get after each release, afterall he loved spoiling his baby.
"Cum darling, let it out —make a mess for daddy" Mingyu's words were enough for you release the coil in your stomach, Mingyu's gripped your hip, preventing you from squirming away, you begged for it, so he would give it to you.
"Cumming —" you let out high pitched scream, as you felt your pussy spaming onto Mingyu's finger, thick slick gushing out endlessly, the sound your pussy was making was absolutely embarrassing, almost porn worthy.
Mingyu fucked his digits slowly as he felt your high fading away, he removed them and put them inside his own mouth, lapping the digits clean, he let out a satisfactory hum.
"My favourite desert"
You felt your cheeks heating up at the lewd compliment but at this point your whole body was burning up so it didn't matter. You felt Mingyu aligning his cock between your folds, you tried to squirm away but he quickly held you down by your throat as he was preparing to fuck you in missionary.
"I am sensitive daddy — no more please" you whimpered as you felt his tip entering your sensitive walls .
"Shut the fuck up, I own this cunt and I will use it till as I please" His hand tightens around your throat and another hand between your soaked thighs, cupping the sensitive mound. Fingers spreading open, hard cock teasing your entrance. A hissed whined leaving your lips. In swift motion Mingyu thrusts into you and removes his cock entirely before repeating the same action couple of times, streching you out completely, body tired and sprawled out for him to use, break and mend.
" You feel heavenly baby, my baby" Mingyu whispered as he captured your lips into a passionate kiss, hungrily lapping your mouth and sucking onto your tongue as his cock drilled inside you at a deliciously punishing pace. The hand which was resting on your throat searched for your hand, intervening fingers lovingly as if he isn't fucking you without any ounce of mercy.
" Y/N,Who do you belong to?" Mingyu asked breaking the kiss, looking at you like a pirate that found world famous treasure.
"You — I belong to you " you answered voice breaking between each words, Mingyu let out a disapproving grunt as he gave you particularly sharp thrust .
"I belong to —daddy" you cried out, feeling pleasure beyond limits as Mingyu rutted against you.
"My name darling" Mingyu said, pausing his movements all together, you looked at him with confusion, shock then with pure happiness, you weren't allowed to call Mingyu by his name in bedroom ever, it was one of very few clauses you didn't break, your heart strings tugged as you tried spelling out his name.
"Mingyu —" you whispered, voicing out shyly while ignoring the waves of emotions, erupting in your stomach.
"Louder" Mingyu grunted as he continued his movements, brain going fuzzy by your soft voice moaning out his name so beautifully.
"Mingyu — fuck Mingyu, soo good" you screamed out, clenching around his cock desperately, your second orgasm, approaching you like a truck.
The sole reason Mingyu didn't wished to have you call his name was cause' he wanted to forgive his identity whenever he was with you ,he wanted to stay with you as a nobody, not as a Kim Mingyu who was loved and hated by many, he just wanted to be a simple man with you, the one who is loved and one who is in love.
"I am close darling, gonna breed your pussy real good" Mingyu said as his thrusts grew more sloppy, his own orgasm approaching. With few more thrusts, he spilled his cum inside you, as you released too both of you cums mixing up and overflowing uncontrollably.
Mingyu detached his cock from you, admiring the beautiful creampie he just created, your pussy looked absolutely delectable,he shoved three of his fingers inside you, pushing his cum back inside your tight cunt,the action making you squirm uncontrollably.
"Mingyu please —sensitive" you hissed as you felt his delicious touch, the overstimulation clouding your senses.
"We can't let even a single drop waste, right Angel?" Mingyu asked, as he picked you up almost too easily , bringing you to bathtub and making you sit comfortably while taking seat against you.
He ran the warm water onto your body, the temperature making you forget the ache in your muscles.
"I am sleepy" you said as you pressed your body against Mingyu, finding solace in his big strong arms .
"What's your ring size" Mingyu suddenly asked you, bringing you back from the dreamland you were just about to slip in.
"I don't know never measured" you said sleepily, not caring why he even asked that question in the first place.
However Mingyu made up his mind, he won't be letting fear of future events Make you slip away from him, he loved you, he loved you enough to finally not giving fuck about anything, sudden epiphany hitting him, the love you had for him wasn't that weak to get shattered cause of opinions of useless people and your history, he was billionaire he could bury everything and anything he wants, Mingyu was done torturing himself and you.
He loves you and he will spend his whole life loving you.
A/N:This was the flithiest shit i ever wrote pls share your views
#seventeen#seventeen scenarios#seventeen smut#mingyu smut#mingyu#mingyu x reader#mingyu drabbles#mingyu ff#seventeen fanfic#seventeen ff#kim mingyu x reader
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♡︎ 𝙖𝙬𝙤𝙤𝙜𝙖𝙨! ♡︎
characters: sub!big men x gn!dom!reader
warnings: cock/strap/dick traditions, boob fucking, cumming on face, body, feminization, size difference, mentions of pregnancy, dumbification, lactation, feminine language used for the characters (princess, womb, maiden etc so pls tread with caution if that ain’t ur thing), read with optional bias character in mind
notes: nobu finally posting smt??????? nobu actually writing for once???????????? also this is just my obsession with boobs talking. dividers from cafekitsune. manga color tint by me
big men! with big chests that gets mistaken or joked of it being boobs by close friends and colleagues, who had gotten used to it. who at first used to get all blushy blushy but nowadays just shrugs it off with a disgruntled huff of “knock it off”
big men! who didn’t really see much problem when you started to favor their chest more, eventually opting to use them as a pillow rather than use your actual pillow since it gives them the advantage of falling asleep with you on top of them and they got to cuddle with you all night. a win-win situation in his book, as he could be quite clingy when behind closed doors. who laughs sometimes at the silliness of you smothering your face in between his chests, finding your obsession with his pecs to be endearing
big men! who didn’t realize how sensitive their chest could be until you decide to show it to them. squeezing, fondling the large muscles, tweaking his cute nipples occasionally and making him jolt in place with a cute blush covering his ears and cheeks. so adorable, like a meager bunny when he was nearly twice your size and could probably crush a grown man’s skull in with their hand
big men! who get so worked up over the dirty words you whisper when you pinch his hardened nipples, your words of “i could make your chest lactate”, “your boobs feel so heavy, darling”, “such a nice big tits you have” making him whine in the back of his throat, shaking his head as he shakily denies that “t-they’re not b-boobs… y-you nngh know that…”
big men! who gets manhandled by your smaller frame to lay on their backs, a cute surprised “eengk!” escaping his swollen lips as he looks up at you, pushing his tight shirt up until they’re resting over his chest, showing the big muscles you love so much. who cutely whine and wriggle in place under you as your fingers bully his hardened buds, pinching at the cute pinks, tugging on them before letting go, a noise of awe leaving your lips at the way his chest fucking jiggles while your bf could only jolt with words of “c-cruel… you’re so cruel to me. pu-unhh puppYAGH!”
big men! who get fucked stupid, brain churning into a mush by only having his nipples played with. pinched, tugged, even bitten till your fangs and teeth leaves a round mark closed around his areola that he slurs is too deep, acting like he is getting his tight hole spread open and fucked by your cock. whose face is so cutely flushed, eyes dazed over as he breathes heavily of “wan’ moowr.. ungh h-haah… annh♡︎ m-more please? touch me.. to-ouch me moore”
big men! who act like a sweet virgin who never got himself fucked by you when you kick off your pants, hardened cock already springing out and slapping against his cute boobs. who stare at your oozing tip with gaping mouth, letting out stuttered questions of “w-what… whaddaya doin’? h-hunny, noouw… no, don’t—♡︎!” before squealing when you squeeze his chest together, rutting your strap in between them
big men! who act like they have never seen your cock, never tasted it or even deep throated it before, acting like he never once took your dildo into his pretty hole until his legs shook as you fuck his boobs, moaning loudly like the cute bunny he is. who opens his mouth, jaw shaking as fat tears collect in his big doe eyes, messily sucking the tip, getting drunk on the taste of your pre already when you politely ask him to suck you off
big men! whose hands shakily grasp your ass, unintentionally helping you fuck their tits even more, pushing your strap even deeper inside his mouth as if he wanted you to just let go of their boobs and just fuck their throat instead. who lets out a cute confused noise, mouth full of your cock, batting his lashes up at you like the pretty little thing he is when you move his trembling hands to hold his boobs together instead of your ass. who tries to speak words of not knowing how to do it, still mouthful, as you give a tug to his cute bitten nipple, making him squeak
big men! who meagerly tries to fuck your cock in between his mounds, choking on your tip when you tilt his head down just enough so he could also suck you off, acting as if you just shoved your entire strap down his throat and was keeping it there, snuggly shutting him up. a whiny bf whose tears finally fall when you cum into his hot mouth, dropping of your cock when you came as if he was never drunk on the taste of your seeds before, letting some of it shoot over his face and hair instead. a hunky beast of a man, sniffling like a baby when he notices the mess you made of him, who dares to give you a half assed glare as if you forced him to make a mess
big men! who gets addicted to boob fucking after that one time thing, constantly thinking back on the feeling of squishing his own chest together to fuck your dick for you. whose hands finds themselves wandering to his pecs more often, pushing them together and moving them in soft round circles as if you would suddenly appear and fill the empty space between his boobs. who finds himself messing with his nipples over the tight fit of his shirt, finding himself to be perverted as he gets turned on by just fondling with his chest
big men! who, unable to keep teasing themselves anymore, start to touch themselves when you’re away on work or whatever. more specifically, their chests. rutting his clothed, hardened cock against a pillow that is squished between his thighs, tweaking at his nipples and tugging on them — just like how you do it — before letting go with a whimper. it hurt, but it also felt so good, he could feel his precum already wetting his boxers
big men! who finds out that his constant arousal by his nipples was a bad idea, as now every time he wears a tight shirt or compression vest, his nipples are rubbed and he finds himself getting horny. who, in desperation, decides to tenderly tape the cute pink nubs with a band aid, pouting to himself about how you were slowly but surely turning him into a perv
big men! who now finds it much easier to use his boobs to fuck you, quick to drop down to their knees in front of your clothed crotch, kissing the hidden thighs and inhaling at your natural scent with a love stricken look in their eyes. a cute, desperate bf who kisses your strap, rubbing you with his hands to try and get you hard as quick as possible. who hook their shirt over their chest, intentionally pushing his boobs together with his hands on his knees, creating the effect of round shaped breasts
big men! who impatiently watches until your cock is free, taking it into his mouth the moment you slide down your undergarments, suckling at the head just like how you enjoy it. who push you down to sit, so he could climb onto your lap, pushing his chest together so he could fuck your strap with his boobs, determined that now he had learned a good technique to make you feel good. who is quick to take the head of your dildo into his mouth, swiping the gathered pre with a pleased hum, looking up at your through his thick lashes with a drunken giggle before pulling away to spit on your hard on
big men! who drunkenly take the head of your strap into their hot mouth, suckling away at the delicious precum, unafraid to slobber all over your cock and his chest as he slowly moves the big muscles in a circular motion. who giggles in delight at your words of praise and groans, the tip of your cock that is still in his mouth vibrating with his drunk laughter. beefy bf who eagerly lap away at your cock head, slurping at the mess he made of his own drool and your precum before taking it back into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks for you. only for you♡︎
big men! who pulls away again when you cum, watching with a cute mix of fascination and lewd anticipation as your hot cum shoots all over his jaws and chest, painting his skin in white. massaging your balls and stroking you through it all, opening his mouth slack as he stares up at you with hazed eyes, letting the last few drops shoot into his awaiting tongue, licking at his full lips with a pleasured hum. the salty, slightly sweet taste, a familiar one that he had gotten drunk on within the first round
big men! who straddle your lap, rubbing your wet strap on the round curve of his ass with a giddy giggle, feeling how the slippery wet tip doesn’t enter his tight hole without helping hands. finally, grasping at your dick with his hand, giving it a few strokes before pressing the tip against his entrance. your sweet bf who decide to be bold, sinking down onto your cock with one swift movement, a choked sob getting stuck in his throat at the sudden feeling of being “f-fughkk♥︎ a-aah haah mnngh♡︎ shooo fu-ull.. gut’s so ffuul of m-my [name]♥︎”
big men! who ride your dick all night, even as his muscles strain and his brain gets fucked into a stupid mush, slurring words of love and lust, saying all sorts of lewd things through his cum and drool covered pink lips as the kissable looking pair of muscles turn into a cute drunken smile. beefy big bf whose tits bounce all the while, their cute jiggles every time they sink down into your dick hypnotizing you to only focus on them. an adorable squeal escaping him as you tear away the band aids from his nipples, the stimulated nubs all hard and blush red as they greet you
big men! who squeeze their breast, forefinger and thumb squeezing around his nipple, as he grins at you with blown wide heart shaped eyes. “a-ain’t they cute…? dontcha wanna suck-unghk suck on them?” he asks, squishing his mound softly with a near delirious grin on his face. “come owwnn, don’t my [name] wanna taste my milk♡︎?”
big men! who lets out a pleased wet sob when you do give in, suckling, biting, squeezing at his jiggling boobs as he starts to bounce on your cock with a more fervent pace. who cries out at it being painful when you leave another teeth mark around his nub, one of his hands placed over his chest like one of the scared damsels in paintings. who slur out words of not being a damsel, of being a maiden, shaking his head as if he actually understood anything
big men! who gets their wombs filled with your cum for nth time that night, feeling his stomach start to bloat at the sheer amount he greedily took into his eager hole. fucked dumb bf who shakes his head at your words of getting off, refusing to lose the warmth in his stretched hole and filled stomach. who only notices when you pointed out, that his nipple was leaking, lactating a delicious white milk that dribbled down to his cum covered tummy. another drunk giggle follows, as he gets close to your ear to whisper a filthy slurred “now that i’m p-pregnant, my [name] better take responsibility♥︎”, having completely forgotten that he can’t get pregnant. but oh well, your beefy bf who is so adorable as he giddily speaks of carrying your young, rubbing at his belly with hearts swirling in his eyes, to the point you can’t bring yourself to correct him. only going slack on the couch with your sweet princess still on your lap
⇨ JOTUN LOKI, jiyan, diluc, alhaitham, CAPITANO, zhongli/rex lapis form, itto, wriothesley, JUNG YUAN, YINGXING, argenti, GALLAGHER, gepard, yhan, yuanwu, GLORFINDEL, maedhros, elu thingol, finarfin, FINROD, logan, thor, DIAVOLO, beelzebub, anubis (ennead), gyomei, YORIICHI, messmer the impaler + whoever you like!
#nobu.writes#sub character#sub xmen#sub marvel#sub mcu#sub lotr#sub the hobbit#sub wuthering waves#sub wuwa#sub hsr#sub honkai star rail#sub genshin#sub genshin impact#sub obey me#sub silmarillion#sub anubis#sub messmer#mcu x reader#avengers x reader#xmen x reader#x men x reader#marvel x reader#lotr x reader#lord of the rings x reader#the hobbit x reader#wuwa x reader#wuthering waves x reader#hsr x reader#genshin x reader#ennead x reader
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Sorry that I'm about to write a treatise on monsterfucking. But this post sparked that little obsessive part of my brain that needs to talk about it. So, I see monsterfucking in a couple of different ways. The most basic and simple is Monster HOT. Monsters are inherently sexy. And writers and directors *coughs Del Toro* recognize this and play into it. The Asset was designed to be attractive with a nice butt and kissable lips.
But we also have to ask why Monster HOT? Well, from my own experience as a trans woman, the monster is always portrayed as "the other". Myself and people like me are constantly demonized. They see us as dangerous. They call us predators, freaks, forced into this societal position where there are legitimately people afraid of us. (This goes for other marginalized identities too)
Afraid in the same way that they would be of a monster. And I think that's where a couple of my own ideas come into place. The first is empathy for the monster. In seeing ourselves in the monstrous, we want to reach out and offer love and affection. The same love and affection that we, ourselves need, and often don't receive. There's many horror movies where the monster just wants to be loved and in the end is rejected. Or killed based on societal fear.
King Kong is one story. It's represented in the final quote of the movie "It was beauty that killed the beast". Kong's love for Ann Darrow, which it's been a while, but I believe was rejected in the 1933 film, and accepted in the 2005 film. Kong always was "the other" (and was suggested in criticism of the film to represent blackness) to Ann Darrow, a conventionally attractive white woman. Kong's love of Ann represented the fears of interracial marriage at the time. Kong craved love, and society doomed him. As someone who is also othered doesn't it make sense to empathize with him?
Shape of Water, again also plays with this but more explicitly. Our Protag, Elisa is a disabled (mute) woman, her best friends are her black co-worker and her gay neighbour. All three are marginalized people. All three are shown to face discrimination throughout the film. Del Toro made sure that the fact these people were othered was text, rather than subtext. The main antagonist, Colonel Strickland, of the story is a white cishet man. His aggression, disregard for others and need for domination are extremely evident from his introduction. He's the kind of man who would be a protagonist in any other horror movie. Back to Elisa, it's her otherness that allows her to see the humanity within The Asset. The intelligence, the capability for love. In the end it's that love that saved both of them, while Colonel Strickland was doomed by his hate.
Those are just two examples of empathic monsters. For myself of course I want to love and be loved, and for a long time the fear of rejection for being a trans woman stopped me from truly achieving that. But I am loved and I'm loved by others like me. Who don't fear me because it found a different way to womanhood. And so of course I love monsters, because it shows I can be loved too.
My second thought about monsterfucking relates to a loss of control. Your powerlessness against a creature 10 times stronger than you. Who has all sorts of ways to make you submit. In other words a non-con kink. A kink that is often highly reviled because of its implications, but also very common. I believe the woman in the picture that I'm responding to is specifically referencing her own disgust with dub- or non-con.
Loss of control is a huge kink because many people, especially women feel like they always have to be in control. In control of their emotions, in control of any situation, in control of their sexuality, in control for their own safety. The point of being in control of our sexuality has been hammered in so intensely that to accept that we even have desires is hard. We're not supposed to want sex, we're supposed to deny ourselves. Slut shaming, attacks against women for being too sexual, all reinforce that a woman is not allowed to want for herself. We crave a release, to stop thinking all the time, to allow ourselves to want.
While heterosexual sex is so focused on the man, on the masculine penis, that a woman's pleasure is oft put to the side. You still have to think about others even when you want pleasure yourself.
Well, the monster doesn't care. The monster is going to give you exactly what you want have been denying yourself. This goes for men too. Louis from Interview with a Vampire is a good example. His bisexuality is frowned on by society, but Lestat doesn't care. Lestat is going to show Louis exactly what allowing himself to let go and accept pleasure is like. And for most of the movie Louis continues to try and deny himself, until he finally lets go and accepts who he is.
Speaking of vampires that brings me to my last point. Monsterfucking as a way to get power. And the clearest example I can think of this is Twilight. Bella, while attracted to Edward, was more interested in receiving the power Edward has, than Edward himself. She wanted to be a vampire and this was clear from the beginning. But Edward had to be all Mormon about it. There's many people who find power in the monstrous. To take a piece of the monstrous into yourself and thus gain the same power. And power is sexy.
Werewolves are shown as power through their physical prowress. It's very rare you see a lanky, malnourished werewolf. *Looks at a certain series with distain*
Idk I kinda rambled on. But those are my thoughts
Every day I am thankful to not be a TikTok user
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the lovely amazing darling @crescenthistory tagged me a little bit ago about doing the 12 fics for 12 months. i had to really ponder so it took me a moment; i apologize
all fics are character x reader
but here they are 🥰:
just to stop the feeling; theodore nott - @musingsofahufflepuff ;; when i say that i cannot express enough how much i absolutely adore and love this fic. there's a little bit of everything for the sb trio person in here; Enzo being a smart ass, Mattheo being a tender friend, Theo discovering himself. my hubs really did an amazingly fantastic job. please scour his master list I'm begging.
come back, be here; sirius black - @ellecdc ;; this fic is the single most important fic that got me truly hooked on reading more marauders. there's angst, there yearning, there's hurt (and then there's comfort). eight parts overall, this link is to part one. elle is quite amazing.
its nice to have a friend; remus lupin - @crescenthistory ;; this is childhood best friends to lovers with my favorite marauder boy always...and fuck if i'm not a sucker for that.
midnight strolls and nosy portraits; sirius black - @iamgonnagetyouback ;; adorable adorable sirius black fluff, if you're looking for a way to make me obsessed with something, sirius + being a sweetie = sab's brain melting.
divination; james potter - @ikkyfics ;; you and james have (you guessed it) divination class together and get a verrrry interesting reading
dealer!remus x shy reader; remus lupin - @inkdrinkerworld ;; if there's one thing sab loves, it's remus who has a special affinity for you based on what makes you different than the rest. uuuugh love this man. there's two parts to this as well.
everything is blue; barty crouch junior - @unconventional-lawnchair ;; this is barty x potter!reader. if you've paid attention to my blog at all over the last, i'd say, four months, i'm obsessed with barty. everything barty. i need barty. (there's a sort of second bit to this too)
checked box; sirius black - @marauder-misprint ;; sirius is seemingly going through a list of sorts, confusions spread of whether you should be on it.
first kiss; remus lupin - @latenightreadingpdf ;; title says it all, and i'm obsesssseeddd
my darling elle's hockey!au ;; i've linked her remus master list here. if you like hockey (or just thing the rough and tumble of hockey boys are sexy asf [valid]) then i implore you to explore this.
if i kiss you i'm sorry; james potter - @astonishment ;; the first fic i read by my darling darling mal. strangers-esque to lovers. many parts. as always she is just captivating a writer. i encouraged you to explore all her other works as well (you're losing me/remus lupin/james potter has me in a chokehold as well)
desperately needed; mattheo riddle - @musingsofahufflepuff ;; mmmm yes yes yes yes yes i love this, nothing quite like a lil bit o bump and grinding. my favorite activity with mattheo
#this was soooo difficult to pick#but i'm satisfied with the list#EVERYONE GO READ THEM#FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE#james potter#james potter x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#sirius black#sirius black x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo ridd x reader#theo nott#theo nott x reader
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H.S.K.T
Minjeong could rant about her de taste for the song “H.S.K.T” but that song soon became her most played song when she overheard her crush gushing about it
Warnings; fluff, fem!reader, kissing, quiet x outgoing, music freak reader, lmk if I missed anything cuz I think there’s a lot that I missed :P 5.5k WC
The hallways of Seoul High School were always filled with the sound of laughter and chatter, but for Y/N, the only sound that truly mattered was music. She lived and breathed it, spending every spare moment listening to her favorite artists, discovering new genres, and even composing her own songs.
Y/N's love for music was infectious, and it wasn't uncommon to see her walking down the hallway with her earbuds in, a look of pure joy on her face. Her friends and classmates had grown accustomed to her musical obsession, and they often joked that she had a soundtrack playing in her head at all times.
But amidst all the chaos and noise of high school life, there was one person who watched Y/N with a quieter, more introspective gaze. Minjeong, a tall and soft-spoken senior, had harbored a secret crush on Y/N for what felt like an eternity.
Minjeong loved the way Y/N's eyes lit up when she talked about music, the way her entire face seemed to come alive with passion and excitement. She loved the way Y/N's hair curled slightly at the edges when she wore her earbuds, and the way her smile could light up an entire room.
For Minjeong, it was more than just a passing infatuation. She had fallen deeply, irrevocably in love with Y/N, and she didn't know how to process her emotions, or how to navigate the complex, terrifying landscape of her own heart.
As the new school year began, Minjeong found herself drawn to Y/N more and more, her feelings growing stronger with each passing day. And Y/N, oblivious to the quiet, devoted gaze that followed her everywhere, simply continued to live her life, surrounded by the music that brought her so much joy.
—
Minjeong rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she sat down at the lunch table with her friend Karina. "I swear, have you heard that trending song by Lee Hi and wonstein ?" she asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste.
Karina looked up from her phone, a curious expression on her face. "You mean 'H.S.K.T.'?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.
Minjeong nodded vigorously. "Yes, that's the one! I mean, I get it, the melody is catchy and all, but the lyrics are so repetitive. It's just the same phrase over and over again. I mean, can't they come up with something more original?"
Karina chuckled. "You're just not a fan of rnb, Minjeong," she teased.
Minjeong shook her head. "I'm just saying, there's better music out there. Music that actually means something, you know?"
Just then, Y/N walked by their table, earbuds firmly in place. Minjeong's eyes followed her, a soft smile spreading across her face. She didn't notice Karina watching her, a knowing glint in her eye.
"Minjeong, you're so oblivious," Karina whispered, a grin spreading across her face.
Minjeong turned back to Karina, a questioning look on her face. "What do you mean?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
Karina just chuckled and shook her head. "Never mind, Minjeong. Just never mind."
As Y/N and her friends sat down at the table next to Minjeong and Karina, Minjeong's breath hitched in her throat. She felt a sudden rush of heat to her cheeks, and she knew she was blushing.
She tried to play it cool, focusing on her lunch and pretending she wasn't aware of Y/N's presence. But it was no use. She could feel Y/N's energy, her infectious enthusiasm, and it was drawing Minjeong in like a magnet.
As she listened, Minjeong heard Y/N start talking to her friend Ryujin about music. Specifically, about the song "H.S.K.T.".
"Oh my gosh, Ryujin, have you heard the new remix of 'H.S.K.T.'?" Y/N asked, her eyes shining with excitement.
Ryujin nodded, a smile spreading across her face. "Yeah, I heard it yesterday! It's so good!"
Y/N squealed, bouncing up and down in her seat. "I know, right? I've been listening to it nonstop. I'm totally obsessed!"
Minjeong's eyes widened as she listened to Y/N's enthusiastic rant. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Y/N, the girl she had a crush on, was actually a huge fan of the song Minjeong had just been trashing.
As Y/N continued to gush about the song, Minjeong found herself feeling more and more intrigued. What was it about "H.S.K.T." that Y/N loved so much? Was it really as bad as Minjeong thought, or was there something she was missing?
Minjeong's curiosity got the better of her, and she found herself leaning in, listening more closely to Y/N's conversation. She didn't even realize she was doing it, but Karina noticed, and raised an eyebrow.
"Minjeong, you okay?" Karina whispered, nudging her friend with her elbow.
Minjeong nodded, still listening to Y/N's enthusiastic monologue. "Yeah, I'm fine," she whispered back. "I just...I want to hear more about this song."
Karina grinned, a knowing glint in her eye. "Ooooooooooo," she whispered, teasing Minjeong mercilessly.
Minjeong's face went bright red as she realized she'd been caught. But she couldn't help it. She was intrigued by Y/N's passion, and she wanted to know more.
As soon as Minjeong got home from school, she found herself wandering over to her computer, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. She had promised herself she wouldn't give in to her curiosity, but she just couldn't help it.
She typed in the name of the song, "H.S.K.T.", and hesitated for a moment before pressing play. The opening notes filled her room, and Minjeong felt a slight wince at the repetitive lyrics.
But as she listened more closely, something strange happened. The first thing that came to her mind was Y/N - her bright smile, her infectious enthusiasm, her passion for music.
Minjeong couldn't help but smile as she thought about Y/N, and before she knew it, she was tapping her foot along with the beat. The repetitive lyrics didn't seem so annoying anymore, and she found herself singing along to the chorus.
As the song came to an end, Minjeong felt a pang of disappointment. She didn't want it to be over. So she did the only thing she could think of - she pressed play again.
And again.
And again.
Before she knew it, Minjeong had listened to "H.S.K.T." eight times in a row. She was surprised by how much she had grown to love the song, and she knew exactly why.
It was because of Y/N.
As she drifted off to sleep, Minjeong couldn't help but wonder what other songs Y/N loved, and whether she would ever get the chance to share her own musical passions with her crush.
Minjeong sat on her bed, her laptop open in front of her. She was determined to create the perfect playlist for Y/N - a collection of songs that would speak directly to Y/N's heart.
As she scrolled through her music library, Minjeong's mind wandered back to Y/N. She thought about the way Y/N's eyes sparkled when she talked about music, the way her smile could light up an entire room.
Minjeong's heart skipped a beat as she imagined Y/N listening to the playlist, her face lighting up with delight. She pictured Y/N seeking her out, thanking her for the playlist, and maybe even asking her to hang out.
With renewed enthusiasm, Minjeong started adding songs to the playlist. She chose tracks that reminded her of Y/N, songs that captured the essence of Y/N's bubbly personality.
As the playlist grew, Minjeong found herself pouring her heart and soul into it. She added songs that spoke to her own feelings, tracks that conveyed the emotions she couldn't quite express.
Before she knew it, Minjeong had created a playlist that was as much about Y/N as it was about herself. It was a collection of songs that told a story, a story of crushes and music and the power of connection.
Minjeong saved the playlist, a sense of pride and accomplishment washing over her. She knew that she had created something special, something that might just help her connect with Y/N on a deeper level.
Now, all she had to do was work up the courage to give it to Y/N.
—
Y/N's eyes widened as she scrolled through the playlist Minjeong had given her. She couldn't believe the effort Minjeong had put into creating it - the songs were all perfectly curated, each one speaking to Y/N's musical tastes in a way that felt almost uncanny.
As she listened to the playlist, Y/N felt a warmth spread through her chest. It was clear that Minjeong had put her heart and soul into this playlist, and Y/N was touched by the thoughtfulness.
She looked up to see Minjeong watching her, a nervous expression on her face. Y/N's heart skipped a beat as their eyes met, and for a moment, they just stared at each other.
"Minjeong, this is...wow," Y/N said finally, breaking the silence. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
Minjeong's face lit up with a smile, and Y/N's heart skipped another beat. She felt a flutter in her chest, and suddenly, she was seeing Minjeong in a whole new light.
Y/N's eyes scanned the playlist, and her face lit up with a bright smile. "You even put 'H.S.K.T.'!" she exclaimed, her voice trembling with emotion.
Minjeong's heart skipped a beat as Y/N's face scrunched up, and she pouted, clearly touched by the gesture. Before Minjeong could react, Y/N had thrown her arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.
Minjeong's eyes widened in shock, and she froze, unsure of how to respond. She had dreamed of moments like this, but she never thought they would actually happen. She was about to hug Y/N back, but before she could, Y/N pulled away, her face flushing with embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry I did that," Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what came over me."
Minjeong's heart was still racing from the sudden hug, and she felt a pang of disappointment that it had ended so abruptly. But she tried to play it cool, not wanting to make Y/N feel any more awkward than she already did.
"It's okay," Minjeong said, trying to sound casual. "I'm just glad you liked the playlist."
Y/N smiled, looking relieved, and Minjeong's heart skipped another beat. She couldn't help but wonder what had just happened, and whether Y/N's hug had meant something more.
Karina watched the exchange between Minjeong and Y/N with interest, her eyes narrowing as she sensed the tension between them. She had known Minjeong for years, and she could tell when her friend was crushing hard.
As soon as Y/N walked away, Karina pounced, plopping down beside Minjeong on the bench. "Spill," she said, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
Minjeong sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know, Karina. I think I might have misread the situation entirely."
Karina raised an eyebrow. "Misread the situation? You mean, like, you thought Y/N was into you?"
Minjeong nodded, feeling a flush rise to her cheeks. "Yeah. I mean, she hugged me, Karina. Out of nowhere."
Karina's grin grew wider. "That's not out of nowhere, Minjeong. That's a sign. And I'm not just talking about the hug."
Minjeong's eyes locked onto Karina's. "What do you mean?"
Karina leaned in, her voice dropping to a whisper. "I mean, Y/N's been watching you, Minjeong. I've seen the way she looks at you. She's interested."
Minjeong's heart skipped a beat as she processed Karina's words. Could it be true? Was Y/N really interested in her?
Karina's advice echoed in Minjeong's mind as she watched Y/N walk down the hallway. She had been waiting for the perfect moment to confess her feelings, and she couldn't let this opportunity slip away.
Minjeong took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest. She quickened her pace, catching up to Y/N just as she was about to turn a corner.
"Y/N, wait!" Minjeong called out, her voice barely above a whisper.
Y/N turned around, a smile on her face. "Hey, Minjeong! What's up?"
Minjeong's heart skipped a beat as she gazed into Y/N's eyes. She could feel her pulse racing, her palms growing sweaty. This was it – the moment of truth.
But just as Minjeong was about to confess her feelings, Ryujin appeared out of nowhere, a concerned expression on her face.
"Y/N, baby, I'm not sure I'll be able to follow you to that W2E concert," Ryujin said, her voice hesitant. "Maybe you'll find someone else? I'm quite busy with my family on that day."
Y/N's face fell, and Minjeong could see the disappointment in her eyes. She nodded understandingly, but Minjeong could tell she was trying to hide her true feelings.
Ryujin nodded sympathetically before turning to leave. "Sorry again, Y/N! I feel terrible for bailing on you."
As Ryujin walked away, Y/N let out a sigh, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Minjeong's heart went out to her – she could see how much Y/N had been looking forward to the concert.
Without thinking, Minjeong spoke up, her words tumbling out in a rush. "Hey, Y/N, I'll go with you to the concert! I've heard great things about W2E, and I'd love to see them live."
Y/N's face lit up, and she let out a squeal of delight. "Really, Minjeong? You'd do that for me?"
Minjeong nodded, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. "Of course, Y/N! I'd love to spend time with you."
Y/N's eyes sparkled with gratitude, and she threw her arms around Minjeong in a tight hug. "Thank you so much, Minjeong! You're the best!"
As Y/N bounced up and down, Minjeong couldn't help but laugh. She felt a sense of joy wash over her, and for a moment, she forgot all about her confession.
Y/N pulled back, still grinning from ear to ear. "I'll make sure to get us the best seats! Thanks again, Minjeong – you're a lifesaver!"
With that, Y/N skipped off down the hallway, leaving Minjeong to watch her go with a dreamy sigh. Minjeong's heart was still racing, but it wasn't just from the excitement of confessing her feelings – it was from the sheer joy of making Y/N happy.
As she stood there, a goofy grin spreading across her face, Minjeong realized that she had forgotten all about her confession. She had been so caught up in the moment, so happy to see Y/N smile, that she had let her chance slip away.
But as she turned to walk away, Minjeong couldn't help but feel a sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, she would get another chance to confess her feelings to Y/N. And maybe, just maybe, Y/N would feel the same way.
The weekend finally arrived, and Y/N's excitement was palpable. She had been looking forward to the W2E concert all week, and she couldn't wait to share the experience with Minjeong.
As she waited for Minjeong to arrive, Y/N found herself pacing back and forth in her room. She had spent hours getting ready, trying on different outfits and doing her hair and makeup just right.
Just as she was starting to get anxious, Y/N's phone buzzed with a text from Minjeong. "Hey, I'm ready! Maybe we should meet up somewhere?"
Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she read the text. She quickly typed out a response, but before she could hit send, Minjeong sent another text. "Wait, don't worry about meeting up. I'll come pick you up."
Y/N's face lit up with a smile as she read the text. She felt a flutter in her chest at the thought of Minjeong coming to pick her up.
As she waited for Minjeong to arrive, Y/N found herself walking around her room, checking her reflection in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time.
Just as she was starting to get impatient, Y/N heard the sound of a horn outside. She rushed to the window and pulled back the curtain, her heart skipping a beat as she saw Minjeong's car parked outside.
Y/N grabbed her bag and rushed downstairs, flinging open the front door and sliding into the passenger seat of Minjeong's car.
As she settled into her seat, Minjeong turned to her with a bright smile. "OMG, your outfit is so cute!" she exclaimed, her eyes scanning Y/N's outfit.
Y/N's face flushed with pleasure as she thanked Minjeong, feeling a little self-conscious about her outfit. "Nah, yours is better," she said, taking note of Minjeong's outfit. "Mine is just casual wear."
Minjeong laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Casual wear? You look amazing, Y/N! I love the baggy clothes on you."
Y/N's blush deepened as she smiled, feeling a little more at ease. "Thanks, Minjeong. You always know how to make me feel better."
As they pulled away from the curb, Minjeong glanced over at Y/N, her eyes shining with excitement. "I'm so glad we're doing this, Y/N. I've been looking forward to it all week."
Y/N grinned, feeling a sense of excitement wash over her. "Me too, Minjeong. Me too."
As they drove to the concert venue, the two girls chatted excitedly, discussing everything from their favorite W2E songs to their plans for the summer.
The atmosphere in the car was electric, and Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of joy and excitement. She was so glad she had agreed to go to the concert with Minjeong.
As they pulled up to the venue, Y/N's heart skipped a beat. The line of fans waiting to get in stretched around the block, and the air was electric with excitement.
Minjeong grinned, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Ready, Y/N?"
Y/N nodded, feeling a sense of anticipation wash over her. "Born ready, Minjeong."
As the concert got underway, Y/N found herself getting more and more into the music. She was singing along to every song, dancing with abandon, and having the time of her life.
But as the crowd around her grew more intense, Y/N started to feel overwhelmed. The noise, the lights, the sheer number of people pressing in on her from all sides – it was all starting to feel a bit too much.
Minjeong noticed that Y/N was starting to look a bit frazzled, and she quickly grabbed her hand, pulling her through the crowd to a safer spot near the back.
"Hey, are you okay?" Minjeong asked, her voice loud enough to be heard over the music. "You looked like you were starting to feel a bit overwhelmed."
Y/N nodded gratefully, feeling a bit better now that she was out of the crush of the crowd. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said. "Just got a bit too much for me."
Minjeong smiled and put a reassuring arm around Y/N's shoulders. "Don't worry, I've got you," she said. "We can stay back here and enjoy the concert from a distance."
Y/N smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her chest at Minjeong's thoughtful gesture. She leaned into Minjeong's side, feeling grateful for her friend's support.
As they stood there, watching the concert from a safe distance, Y/N felt a sense of contentment wash over her. She was happy to be here with Minjeong, enjoying the music and each other's company.
And as she glanced over at Minjeong, she couldn't help but notice the way the lights from the stage illuminated her friend's face, making her look even more beautiful than usual.
As the concert went on, Y/N found herself feeling more and more drawn to Minjeong. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was something about Minjeong's bright smile and infectious enthusiasm that made Y/N feel happy and alive.
At first, Y/N tried to brush off the feeling, telling herself she was just being silly. But as the night wore on, she couldn't shake the sense that her feelings for Minjeong went beyond friendship.
It wasn't until they were walking out of the venue, the cool night air a welcome relief after the hot and crowded concert hall, that Y/N realized the true extent of her feelings. Minjeong was laughing and chatting with her, her eyes sparkling with amusement, and Y/N felt her heart skip a beat.
She was in love with Minjeong.
The realization hit Y/N like a ton of bricks, leaving her feeling stunned and disoriented. She didn't know what to do or say, so she just stood there, frozen in place, as Minjeong continued to chat and laugh beside her.
Meanwhile, Minjeong was oblivious to the turmoil going on inside Y/N's head. She was too busy basking in the glow of their wonderful night together, feeling grateful and happy that she had gotten to share this experience with her dear friend.
But as they walked to the car, Minjeong couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Y/N seemed a bit quieter than usual, a bit more subdued, and Minjeong wondered if everything was okay.
"Hey, Y/N, are you doing all right?" Minjeong asked, her voice soft with concern. "You seem a bit quiet tonight."
Y/N hesitated, unsure of how to respond. She didn't want to lie to Minjeong, but she wasn't ready to reveal her true feelings either.
"I'm fine, Minjeong," Y/N said finally, forcing a smile onto her face. "Just a bit tired, that's all."
Minjeong looked at her skeptically, but she didn't push the issue. Instead, she just smiled and nodded, her eyes shining with warmth and understanding.
As they drove home, the silence between them was comfortable and companionable. Minjeong chatted occasionally, pointing out landmarks and talking about the concert, but for the most part, they just enjoyed each other's company, the quiet darkness of the night wrapping around them like a warm blanket.
It wasn't until they pulled up in front of Y/N's house, the porch light casting a warm glow over the scene, that Minjeong finally worked up the courage to confess her feelings.
"Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute?" Minjeong asked, her voice soft and hesitant.
Y/N looked at her curiously, wondering what Minjeong wanted to say. "Of course, Minjeong," she replied, her heart pounding in her chest.
Minjeong took a deep breath, her eyes locked on Y/N's face. "I just wanted to say thank you," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. "Thank you for being such an amazing friend, for always being there for me."
Y/N's heart swelled with affection, and she felt a lump form in her throat. "Minjeong, you're an amazing friend too," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Minjeong smiled, her eyes shining with tears. "I'm glad we're friends, Y/N," she said. "But I have to be honest with you – my feelings for you go beyond friendship."
Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she processed Minjeong's words. She had been hoping and dreaming of this moment for so long, and now that it was finally here, she didn't know what to say.
"Minjeong, I –" Y/N started, but Minjeong cut her off, her voice pouring out in a rush.
"I know it may seem sudden, Y/N, but I've been feeling this way for a while now. I was too scared to say anything, but I couldn't keep it inside anymore. I had to tell you, no matter how scared I was."
Y/N's heart went out to Minjeong, and she felt a wave of love and affection wash over her. She knew exactly what Minjeong was feeling – the fear, the uncertainty, the hope.
"Minjeong, I –" Y/N started again, but this time, she was interrupted by her own heart, which was pounding in her chest like a drum.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, but it was no use. Her feelings for Minjeong were too strong, too overwhelming.
"Minjeong, I feel the same way," Y/N said finally, her voice barely above a whisper.
Minjeong's face lit up with joy, and she leaned in, her lips brushing against Y/N's in a soft, gentle kiss. Y/N's heart soared as she felt Minjeong's lips on hers, and she knew in that moment that she was exactly where she was meant to be.
As they pulled back from the kiss, Minjeong's eyes shone with happiness, and Y/N couldn't help but smile back at her. They sat there for a moment, just looking at each other, the tension between them palpable.
"I'm so glad I told you," Minjeong said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was so scared, but it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
Y/N nodded, feeling a sense of understanding and connection with Minjeong. "I'm glad you told me too," she said. "I've been feeling the same way, but I was too scared to say anything."
Minjeong's face lit up with a smile, and she reached out, taking Y/N's hand in hers. "I'm so glad we're on the same page," she said, her voice filled with emotion.
As they sat there, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes, Y/N felt a sense of happiness and contentment wash over her. She knew that this was just the beginning of their journey together, and she couldn't wait to see what the future held.
The night air was filled with the sound of crickets and the occasional passing car, but Y/N and Minjeong didn't notice. They were too lost in their own little world, a world of love, happiness, and possibility.
As the night wore on, they talked and laughed, sharing their hopes and dreams with each other. They were no longer just friends; they were something more, something special.
And as they sat there, under the stars, Y/N knew that she had found her soulmate in Minjeong. She was excited to see what the future held for them, and she knew that as long as they were together, everything would be okay.
—
Sunday morning dawned bright and early, and Y/N woke up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. She stretched out in bed, yawning widely, and reached for her phone to check her messages.
As she scrolled through her social media feeds, Y/N stumbled upon a video of the H.S.K.T challenge that had been making the rounds online. She had seen it before, but this time, something about it caught her eye.
Maybe it was the memory of Minjeong's bright smile and infectious laughter from the night before, but Y/N suddenly felt a strong urge to share the video with her girlfriend. She sent the video to Minjeong, along with a message that read: "Min, would you please do this challenge with me :("
Y/N couldn't help but add a few pleading emojis to the end of the message, hoping to guilt trip Minjeong into agreeing. She knew it was a bit silly, but she couldn't help herself – she was just too excited about the prospect of doing the challenge with her girlfriend.
Minjeong, on the other hand, was not surprised by Y/N's message. She had been expecting something like this, given Y/N's love of challenges and silly videos. And besides, she couldn't say no to Y/N's adorable pleading face, even if it was just a emoji.
"Of course, I'll do it with you!" Minjeong texted back, trying to sound casual despite her growing excitement. "When were you thinking of doing it?"
Y/N's response came almost immediately. "Thanks, Min! We'll do it when we meet up at the park :)"
Minjeong grinned, feeling a thrill of anticipation. She had been looking forward to meeting up with Y/N all day, and now she had something extra to look forward to. She quickly got dressed and ready, her mind racing with thoughts of the challenge and what they would do.
As she headed out the door, Minjeong couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and nervousness. She had no idea what the challenge would entail, but she was ready to face it head-on with Y/N by her side.
Meanwhile, Y/N was getting ready on her end, her heart racing with excitement. She had always loved doing silly challenges and videos with her friends, and this one promised to be extra special. She was looking forward to spending time with Minjeong, and she knew that this challenge would be a great way to bond and create some unforgettable memories.
As she headed out the door, Y/N felt a sense of anticipation building up inside her. She knew that this day was going to be special, and she couldn't wait to see what the future held for her and Minjeong.
The park was just a short walk away, and Y/N arrived there a few minutes early, her eyes scanning the area for any sign of Minjeong. She spotted her girlfriend walking towards her, a bright smile on her face, and Y/N's heart skipped a beat.
"Hey!" Minjeong called out, waving enthusiastically. "I'm so excited to do this challenge with you!"
Y/N grinned, feeling a sense of excitement and nervousness. "Me too!" she replied, holding up her phone. "I've got the video all cued up and ready to go. Let's do this!"
Y/N held up her phone, the video of the H.S.K.T challenge playing on the screen. "Okay, Minjeong, watch closely," she said, demonstrating the dance moves. "It's not too hard, I promise."
Minjeong watched intently, her eyes fixed on the screen. She nodded along, trying to commit the steps to memory.
When Y/N finished demonstrating the dance, Minjeong set her own phone down and stood up, a determined look on her face. "Okay, let's do this!" she exclaimed.
Y/N grinned, feeling a surge of excitement. "That's the spirit!" she said, holding out her hand to Minjeong.
Together, the two girls launched into the dance, laughing and spinning to the music. They stumbled over a few of the steps, but they didn't let that stop them. They kept going, their laughter and joy infectious.
As they finished the final step of the dance, Minjeong let out a whoop of excitement and threw her arms around Y/N. The two girls tumbled to the soft grass floor, holding onto each other tightly.
Their laughter erupted into the air, a joyful sound that echoed through the park. They lay there for a moment, holding onto each other, their hearts full of happiness.
Finally, Y/N managed to catch her breath and pause the video. She turned to Minjeong, a smile still plastered on her face. "You're an amazing dancer," she said, her eyes shining with amusement.
Minjeong grinned, her face flushed with excitement. "Thanks to you," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she gazed into Minjeong's eyes. She felt a surge of affection and love, and without thinking, she leaned in and gave Minjeong a light kiss on the cheek.
Minjeong's eyes fluttered closed, and she held onto Y/N's waist tightly, her face still flushed with excitement. The two girls lay there for a moment, the only sound their happy sighs and the distant music still playing from Y/N's phone.
It was a moment of pure joy and happiness, a moment that neither of them would ever forget. And as they lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, they both knew that their friendship had blossomed into something more – something special, something true, and something that would last a lifetime.
#aespa#aespa x fem reader#aespa x reader#aespa fluff#aespa fanfic#aespa winter#winter x reader#aespa winter x reader#aespa imagines
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triple-dog dare | lsm
“Bambi.”
The sternness of his tone surprised both of you, so much so that when you snapped to look at him, both of you froze. Your moon-sized eyes were further proof that your childhood nickname still rings true to date, although your being the deer made him the oncoming car in this scenario.
He didn’t love that analogy.
Recovering quickly, he pulled the Ace from his sleeve: the surefire way for one of you to get the other onboard:
“I triple-dog dare you to come with me.”
pairing: lee seokmin x reader summary: when you're left off the guest list to seokmin's parent's thirtieth anniversary party, you're content to keep your questions to yourself and stay home. seokmin, on the other hand, is not content. in fact, he pulls the one card he knows will always win. au: childhood best friends to lovers genre: fluff, angst, smut type: one-shot rating: 18+ only. minors do not have my consent to interact. wc: 13k cw: pov switches, complicated sibling dynamics (seokmin’s), there is in fact one (1) bed, halmonis gone wild, stupid childhood nicknames, fingering (v), oral sex (m receiving), multiple orgasms, implied penetrative sex (p in v). reader notes: afab, uses she/her pronouns, wears a dress/heels to the party, is implicitly an only child. the setting is intentionally ambiguous, so she's not implicitly korean and/or asian. there are no descriptions of body shape/size, complexion, etc. a/n: thank you to the incomparable @daechwitatamic for beta-ing this! it's been a long damn time since i've written anything, so this might not have seen the light of day without jo, the hype-man. on that note, i suck at summaries; just read the fic, lmao. svt masterlist. svt permanent taglist. multi permanent taglist.
For being the walking disaster that he is, there have been shockingly few moments in Lee Seokmin’s life where he’s needed to shove his oversized foot into his oversized mouth.
Prior to the incident at your apartment, the last time he’d embarrassed himself like this was when he’d asked his oldest sister, Soyeon, in earnest whether or not she was pregnant, only to learn that she was just bloated; and he’s just an ass.
To your credit, you’re far from cruel when he slips up, but that almost makes it worse. You visibly deflate when he asks his well-intentioned but ill-fated question, rather than letting him have it the way his two siblings would have done.
The day in question went like this:
He asked, “Did you reserve your room yet for the 31st? If not, we can double up. It’ll be a lot cheaper.”
And you blinked, stunned like you’d been slapped. “Have I what?”
It dawned on you both at that moment that, for whatever reason, his parents’ thirtieth anniversary party was in fact news to you. Two things then happened at once: you tried to hide your surprise and the twinge of pain that comes with being excluded; and he racked his stupid brain to find any explanation for why you had to feel either one of those things.
The best option he found was to gently toss his middle sister, Seonmi, under the metaphorical bus.
“Seonmi’s been working on something special for them. You know how she gets,” he waved dismissively. “So obsessed with finding the perfect napkins — ” He wiggled his fingers for emphasis. “— and creating custom cocktails, that she misses the forest for the trees.”
You didn’t look convinced. Likewise, you didn’t look any less uncomfortable.
Fuck.
“I’m sure it was an honest mistake.” To drive his point home, he reached from his spot on your couch to give your knee a reassuring squeeze. “I have a plus-one, so it’s not like it’ll be a logistical problem. You belong there as much as we do.”
And he meant it, wholeheartedly.
All his life, the running joke has been that Soonyi and Minseok Lee have four kids: two biological daughters, a younger son, and his otherwise unrelated twin, who spent more time sleeping on his top bunk than in her own home next door.
The way he saw it — and the way he’s sure his parents would see it — is that no family gathering is complete without you. That’s a hill he’d die on if need be.
You shifted in your seat, which caused his hand to slip off your knee, whether or not you meant for it to happen. Glancing uneasily out your window, you worried your bottom lip between your teeth, mumbling, “I don’t know…”
Seokmin frowned. You didn’t see it, though, and therefore weren’t moved by it. Instead, you cycled through your anxious thoughts at high velocity. If he was still touching you, he’d be worried that your sparking brain might catch him on fire.
“What if it’s not a mistake? I mean, what if it’s a couples thing?”
He couldn’t even classify these questions as rhetorical because he wasn’t meant to hear them in the first place. Though you asked out loud, each one of them was for your ears only. From his half of the couch — miles away — his frown deepened, unbeknownst to you.
“You know, Seonmi follows me on Instagram; she’d know that Kai and I broke up a few months ago. Maybe she doesn’t want me to feel awkward? Even if I went, and I didn’t feel weird about that, her expecting it to be weird might make it weird, right?”
Fuck.
You’d spiral all day if Seokmin didn’t stop you. As much as he loves how thoughtful you are, he knows better than most that you have a tendency to take it too far, inflicting that relentless consideration on yourself until it wounds.
“Bambi.”
The sternness of his tone surprised both of you, so much so that when you snapped to look at him, both of you froze. Your moon-sized eyes were further proof that your childhood nickname still rings true to date, although your being the deer made him the oncoming car in this scenario.
He didn’t love that analogy.
Recovering quickly, he pulled the Ace from his sleeve: the surefire way for one of you to get the other onboard:
“I triple-dog dare you to come with me.”
Begrudgingly, you’d conceded, just like Seokmin hoped you would. You sat with him while he figured out travel plans to the mountain resort, helped him visualize what the hell he needed to wear to an event like this. When the time came, you sent him half the cost for the room he booked, even though he repeatedly insisted that you didn’t need to chip in.
Now, that unsolicited sum sits untouched in his Venmo balance. You sit next to him on the night train out of town.
Sit, he thinks, is a bit of an understatement. You’re barely upright, so exhausted from your work day that his shoulder and side are bearing most of your weight. His arm went from tingling to numb an hour ago, but Seokmin doesn’t mind. There isn’t a burden he wouldn’t carry for you, up to and including you yourself.
Besides, he’s not worse off for being left to his own devices. In fact, he keeps himself thoroughly entertained by taking selfies of the pair of you. The aftermath will stay securely in his camera roll — largely because you’d kill him if you saw how squishy your face is, pressed against his coat, or how your little pout trembles slightly, almost as if you’re trying to talk through your sleep — but he still finds it worth the risk. This mochi-cheeked version of you is one of his favorites.
When Seokmin has amassed enough silly photos to comprise a dossier, he tucks his phone back into his pocket with a self-satisfied smile. You’re still out cold, so you don’t stir at his subtle movements or the sound of the concession trolley rattling your way down the aisle.
The girl manning said trolley is significantly outweighed by the thing itself. She hardly looks old enough to have graduated high school, he figures, and he can’t imagine how it is that she’s working at this hour — or how she got stuck doing this job, when it takes all she’s got to maneuver the giant metal contraption through all the train cars.
“Anything, sir?” She asks politely, albeit slightly out-of-breath.
Even though she’s speaking to him, her gaze is directed squarely at his hat, leading him to believe that she may also be too shy for her job. Nonetheless, it’s been two entire hours since his dinner, and he’s on the brink of starving to death, so he coughs up a few bills in exchange for several different snacks.
She could do him the kindness of assuming his massive pile of food is for sharing, but she doesn’t. She gestures to you and whispers, “Anything for your —?”
Seokmin intercepts the question, knowing exactly where it’s headed: in the same direction as the million others like it that he’s heard over the years.
“— parole officer?” He supplies with a smile, “No, this nap is fueled by a lot of crab rangoon. She’ll be out for the duration, I fear.”
Both halves of his response seem to stun her, which means he has to cover his inevitable laugh with a fake cough.
This bit of yours will truly never get old, although the implications that prompt it did a long time ago. It was a stroke of genius on your part, dodging inaccurate references to your relationship status by offering up something too absurd to converse around.
“You two make such a cute couple,” an Uber driver once told you.
“He’s not in a relationship,” you’d politely corrected him. “He’s in witness protection. I’m duty-bound to keep him and his identity safe.”
The silence turns awkward, so Seokmin thanks the girl and gives her a smile he hopes says, “you’re allowed to run away from me now; I won’t take it personally.” She bows her head a little too eagerly, then skitters off with a grimace, like she pulled something in her neck.
Alone again with you, he wiggles gently upright in his seat so that you can rest more comfortably against his pectoral, rather than his shoulder bone. Even though you’re still asleep, Seokmin swears he hears a quiet mmpfh, as if you’re expressing gratitude. He bites his lips to keep from smiling, knowing that smiling in your proximity is one step away from laughter: the only thing you’ve never been able to sleep through.
Instead of giving into the urge, he murmurs, “You should get paid royalties whenever we use that joke. Being as smart as you are should pay off.”
Now, he knows he’s not simply hearing things because you’re just barely loud enough to overcome your own mumbling.
“Agreed,” you sigh on an exhale before slipping to sleep off again.
“Well?”
There are two beats between his first question and his next: the unfilled gap you’ve left in the conversation and the cab’s trunk shutting firmly. “‘s that cool with you?”
Seokmin stares at you, staring at him. His expression is soft, like your lack of responsiveness is something to be fond of, rather than annoyed by. It’s unexpectant, too, leaving the door wide open.
You blink. “Sorry — I — What did you say?”
Hitting him when he least expects it, you shift your suitcase from your dominant hand so you can gesture properly to the bright, poorly crocheted bucket hat flopping over his forehead. “It’s a bit hard to hear you. That hat is so loud.”
His quizzically raised eyebrows drop in an instant. Likewise, that airy smile of his flattens into a straight line.
Bullseye.
“Is it me that you hate?” He asks, tone dead serious as he points his finger towards his own chest. “Or is it the very concept of whimsy?”
You’re too busy biting back a grin to protest when, without being asked, Seokmin reaches out and takes the handle of your suitcase into his own hand, as well as the garment bag you’d draped over your arm. Before turning away to abscond with both sets of luggage in addition to his own, he shoots you an incredulous look. It dissolves entirely before his face even disappears from view.
“This is an objectively delightful hat,” he mutters, nonetheless, in furtherance of the bit.
He spots a member of hotel staff standing on the sidewalk directly outside the hotel’s double doors and pleads his case to them. “She made me this hat, you know,” he announces, gesturing back to you with a nod.
The valet’s uniform hat casts a shadow under the lamplight, but it doesn’t do enough to hide the expression on their face. It is abundantly clear — even in the dark — that they didn’t hear a single word Seokmin said before he offered up that bit of trivia, seemingly apropos of nothing. They muster up a customer-service smile that doesn’t reach their eyes and tell him it’s a wonderful hat. Meanwhile, you roll your eyes from behind because nothing either of them just said is true.
That hat is the byproduct of delusions of grandeur and innumerable skeins of color-conflicting yarn. You made it for yourself, believing that you were the kind of cute and kitschy person who could pull it off; and inconsolable weeping Christ, were you wrong. It was — no, is — your greatest fiber arts failure.
Frankenstein’s floral monster would be in a secondhand shop somewhere if you’d had any say in the matter. It isn’t because you didn’t. Seokmin “rescued” it from the “to donate” pile on your bedroom floor. Since then, he’s worn it at every — public — opportunity, season be damned.
Admittedly, he’s exactly the kind of cute and kitschy person who can pull it off, but you’ve decided out of sheer pettiness to keep that appraisal to yourself.
You take your time catching up to him, both because his long legs make it hard to keep pace; and because the room is reserved under his name. After all, he’s the welcomed guest, not the reluctant party-crasher. The receptionist is already handing him a white keycard when you finally reach the desk. Seokmin holds it up between his index and middle fingers, closed-eye grin sparkling in a matching shade of ivory.
Though the journey up to your shared room is long, the real trip is being confined to an elevator with mirrors for walls.
No matter how hard you try to avert your eyes, you manage to keep finding some new, horrible angle of your stale, post-train state. It’s torture. Three versions of you stare back with deep, dark undereye circles; and all you can think about is how dull your complexion is — especially in comparison to Seokmin, who may as well be bioluminescent with the way he glows from the inside out.
It’s joy, you know, his primary state of being and something he radiates like no other. He’s happy to be here, happy that you’re here, and happy to be happy. Whether or not he means it to be, it’s infectious. Now, you feel yourself starting to smile, too.
Despite your quiet observation, you must have missed him looking at you. Seemingly out of nowhere, he carefully sets down your belongings, raises his now-empty hand, and cups the right side of your jaw. Unaware that you’ve frozen solid, he swipes his thumb carefully over your cheek, tilting his own head to the side and frowning.
“I got you bad, huh?”
You blink.
“The zipper on my coat,” he explains, laughing. “Looks like it took a bite out of you when you used me as a pillow on the train.”
For reasons you can’t possibly explain, the only word to roll off your tongue is a sheepish, “Sorry.”
For a second, Seokmin is just as confused as you are about whether you’re needlessly apologizing to him or his coat. He chuckles quietly at how easily distracted you both are, then he gets back to the point: “Does it hurt?”
“No.”
Your response comes unnaturally quick. Your pulse does, too, when you finally make eye contact with him. After clearing your throat, you give him a half-hearted smile, ignoring whatever medical event you seem to be experiencing. “I didn’t know it was there until now.”
He hums in acknowledgment, then rescinds his hand. You watch in silence while he re-encumbers himself with your luggage and turns back to face the elevator doors, which open almost immediately.
Seokmin steps out easily, like the weight of your respective burdens doesn’t mean a thing. “I’d say this way, please, but I’ve already forgotten the room number,” he admits with a sheepish laugh. “The keycard’s in my pocket.”
You take his cue and reach into the front, right pocket of his coat for the keycard. As soon as you see the room number, you snort.
“You booked room number 218 because that’s your birthday, and then… what? You forgot your own birthday?”
“I’m deeply flawed.” He sighs, put-upon. “Now, let’s go, Bambi. It feels like you packed a week’s worth of bricks.”
There’s no time to point out that you never asked him to carry your suitcase or bag for you in the first place. Likewise, there’s no opportunity to ask exactly how many bricks is a week’s worth. He’s on the move again before you can blink, energy evident in each step regardless of how late it is.
Once again, you follow Seokmin’s lead. Despite the signage, which is clearly visible on the wall, he walks confidently in the wrong direction, prompting you to grab him gently by the elbow and steer him the opposite way. His smile doesn’t falter; he plays it off as if he was just testing how closely you’re paying attention.
It takes several turns down several additional hallways before the pair of you reach your target. When you come to room 218, you tap the keycard against the reader, causing the lock to click open. You turn the handle, push the door open into the room, and step awkwardly out of the way so your personal bellhop can get by.
“This is what I was trying to tell you when you so viciously insulted my favorite accessory.” Seokmin nods his head towards the center of the room. “All of the rooms Seonmi included in the reservation block have a king-sized bed — singular. The rooms outside the block are criminally overpriced for ski season.”
It’s far from the first time you’ve doubled up, so you shrug. “Just like old times, right? Like, when you thought your house was haunted, and you forced your way into the top bunk with me?”
“First of all,” he says as he sets both of your suitcases down and places one hand on his hip, the other pointing at you. “We were six.”
After locking the door behind you, you toe off your shoes, smirking at him from over your shoulder. “What’s your second point?”
“It was haunted —” He insists. Then his stern expression melts into something smug, the way it always does when he’s about to blatantly rewrite history. “— and you asked me to come up there because you were scared.”
A laugh slips out of you automatically, but you selflessly decide to let him have this. Crossing to him, you pat him on the bicep, patronizingly simpering all the while, “You are the brave one.”
Even though you’re both cowards, and he knows it, he pockets this little victory with a pleased hum and a grin.
Turning away from him, you make a beeline for the closet area near the door. There, you shuck off your coat and hang it up, out of the way. While you do, Seokmin passes you both your garment bag and his. From there, the pair of you work in efficient silence: you, pulling your respective formal wear from their bags and smoothing out any wrinkles; him, tucking away your extensive collection of toiletries in the bathroom.
When everything is in its place, you turn back around and notice for the first time how beautiful the room actually is. Though the shades of the floor-to-ceiling windows are almost completely drawn, the snow-covered mountains are at least partially visible through the gap in fabric. If you had the time, you’d spend all day tomorrow sitting on the forest green, velvet chaise directly in front of the window, staring at frosty peaks so massive, they feel close enough to touch.
To your right, an electric fireplace heats the room, while a portrait-framed television hovers on the wall above the mantle, flipping through famous artworks as a screensaver. In between flashes of Van Gogh’s Almond Blossoms and Klimt’s The Kiss, you catch a glimpse of Seokmin’s smile reflecting on the black screen.
Awestruck, you turn to him and sigh, “Don’t let me get used to this.”
He jerks his thumb to his right, gesturing towards the bathroom. “Don’t judge me if I steal one of the bathrobes. They’re probably more expensive than half the shit in my apartment.”
“I won’t, but they’ll bill you for it when they figure it out,” you warn him. “On that note, do you need to shower or anything before I start my skincare side quest?”
Seokmin shakes his head, causing the crocheted abomination to flop. “All yours. My hair’ll get weird if I don’t deal with it tomorrow before we head out.”
And with that mental image of his insurmountable cowlick, you quickly grab your pajamas and shuffle off towards the bathroom.
The first few seconds after you close the door are spent gawking at the insanely intricate, geometric tile pattern in the walk-in shower. Thinking of how much time it must’ve taken to lay each one of them, you set to work on your own tedious task: your ten-step regimen of cleansers, toners, serums, and moisturizers. Seokmin says otherwise, but you don’t think any of them truly make a difference. As stupid as you know it is, the routine itself is therapeutic, even if your skin is no more bouncy and glowy than it was before.
When it’s all said and done, you emerge from the bathroom to find your best friend stretched out on the half of the bed nearest the door with his eyes fixed on his phone screen. It’s the side of the room he always chooses, claiming that it’s to protect you from any intruders, but you know the truth: he’s too much of a freeze baby to sleep near the window, and he knows you like it cold.
“Feeling refreshed?” He mumbles to the best of his ability; his sweatshirt hood is pulled up and drawn so tightly that it squishes his cheeks and chin, restricting his movement.
Chuckling quietly as you go, you pad over to your half of the bed and slip under the comforter. Like a moth to a flame, the other occupant sends his last text, tosses his phone to the side, and scoots closer to you, eager to siphon whatever extra body heat he can. His head winds up on your shoulder, while your cheek rests against the top of his head.
“Before you tell me that I look it, I’d encourage you to stare long into the abyss that is my under-eye circles.”
When he laughs, it’s merely a puff of air from his nose. “You never look as tired as you feel,” he says distractedly, fiddling with the drawstrings of his hoodie. “Pretty miraculous, given how little sleep you get.”
That comment warms you up so thoroughly, you wonder if he can feel it. Then, you wonder if that was the point. You intend to tease him for that, but then it dawns on you how fidgety he’s being. It’s rare for him.
“You okay, Thumper?”
It feels silly, using that nickname after so long. Your clumsiness stuck around for the ride, continuing Bambi into perpetuity; but he grew out of his companion name when he hit puberty, and his giant feet were suddenly proportional to the rest of him.
He’s certainly no bunny, nor is he a child, but the low ebb of anxiety rolling off of him reminds you of the scared little neighbor boy you used to know. It fits, even if it is silly.
At first, Seokmin begins his explanation without peeling his gaze off his restless fingers. “Apparently, Seungcheol and Mingyu are in town.” Then, his eyes slowly lift up to find you peering down at him. “They want to meet up to go snowboarding before we leave.”
Ah.
There it is: the top-secret look in his eye that only you can decipher. The one he’s been practicing for years, at your insistence, for moments like this, when he needs to be talked into something. When he needs to be brave and avoid missing out on something he’d love, solely because it freaks him out.
You respond the same way you always have; the way you once pinky-promised you always would: “I triple-dog dare you.”
He sighs deeply, neither fully resigned nor relieved, but then he nods. His head knocks slightly against your shoulder as he does. “I’ll do it.”
And that’s that; it’s settled.
Or so you think.
A beat passes in silence, until Seokmin suddenly pipes up again, “But you’re going to have to hold my hand on the chair lift, or I’ll pass out and fall to my death.”
“Deal.”
You grab his hand now in consideration of your promise and scratch affectionately at his palm. Surprisingly, his thoughts haven’t made him clammy. His skin is even softer than usual, likely due to the expensive hotel lotion he’s undoubtedly now harboring in his suitcase. Tongue firmly in cheek, you look at him sideways.
“Just — leave the hat in your suitcase, okay? The snow will be blinding enough.”
Seokmin’s been dressed and ready for at least thirty minutes, but you’re still standing exactly where you have been for the last forty-five. Face pinched, you turn this way and that in front of the mirror, smoothing fabric that’s already wrinkle-free, apparently for the hell of it.
“I’m oh-for-three.” Your exasperated sigh is punctuated by your bare, right foot stomping on the carpet. It doesn’t make the impact you likely hope it will, at least sonically. It does, however, speak volumes about how close to the ledge you are.
“All of them looked good,” he says earnestly. “I think this one is my favorite, though, if that means anything.”
Apparently, this is the wrong answer. Your wild-eyed gaze lifts from your own reflection until you’re staring him dead in the eye through the mirror.
“Why did I even pack this?” You ask, “Do you see this?”
Suddenly, you lift a manicured hand to point at your neckline, from which he’d admittedly been averting his eyes. “This is too much cleavage for a family function, isn’t it?”
As quickly as you glanced at him in the first place, you go right back to fussing with your dress, thankfully missing the way he swallows thickly.
Fuck, now he’s staring — but you’re the one that made him look in the first place — and he can feel heat rising to ears, a dead giveaway. His sudden silence does enough to communicate his struggle. He has no idea how to respond without vaulting over the boundaries of your friendship.
Is it hot in here?
Deciding to rely on his usual tactic, he jokes his way out.
“If you think I’ll ever side against tiddie…” He forces a grimace, shaking his head gravely. “Then you really don’t know me at all.”
You laugh loudly, and whatever one-sided tension filled the room snaps like a twig. Better still, the smile you give him stays on your face while you reassess your dress. Seokmin takes it as a personal victory that you commit to his choice, rather than cycle back through your options for the second time.
While this means that you’ll both be able to hit the open bar sooner rather than later, the biggest upside is that he no longer has to keep excusing himself to the bathroom so you can change again, and again, and again.
You finish up quickly, tossing on jewelry, and then turn to him. His shoulder keeps you steady while you slip into your devilishly high heels. Seokmin pays them little mind now, however; his attention is drawn to the accessories you’ve chosen. Sure, they match perfectly with the rest of your outfit, but that’s not what strikes him. It’s the fact that everything you’ve picked was gifted to you by his parents at one point or another.
Unable to stop himself, he reaches out and gently taps on one of your dangling earrings. “Eighteenth birthday,” he muses to himself.
Then, both his gaze and his hand lower to your necklace. He skims his fingertip along the delicate, gold chain, inadvertently making you freeze up. “Christmas 2019?”
You shake your head slightly, though it barely counts as movement.
“Ah,” Seokmin corrects himself. “2020.”
Sensing that he’s somehow made you uncomfortable, he reels himself back in and clears his throat. “Shall we?” He asks, furnishing you with a bent arm to loop yours through.
You take his cue, link your arm to his, and sigh, “I suppose we shall.”
The walk to the elevator is quiet, in that neither one of you says a thing. Seokmin can hear the gears in your head turning, though, without any conversation to drown them out.
You step inside that glorified, mirrored box; and for a few minutes, he lets you work through the thing he knows ruined your sleep last night. That is, until he hears your breathing come a little quicker than usual.
“Hey.”
It was supposed to be a jumping off point. He was going to go from there and reiterate that you belong here with him. The plan was to reassure you for as long as it takes to get you to believe it, but you look up at him almost helplessly, and his Etch-a-Sketch brain is wiped clean in an instant.
The very best he can do is smile and offer a single word: “Hi.”
“Hi,” you whisper back, eyes twinkling.
Your plagued frown curves slightly back in the right direction. The creeping shroud of doom lightens, if only a little bit.
“That’ll do, pig.” You swat his arm, but he says it again, emphatically, “That’ll do.”
Halfway through you scolding him for quoting Babe at a time like this, the elevator door reopens, ready to regurgitate the pair of you out onto the ballroom level.
Unlike the lobby, which sits only one floor below, this floor looks like it was ripped straight from the pages of a fantasy novel. Everywhere he turns, there’s something new — and vaguely elven — to look at. Fairy lights hang in perfectly spaced arches from the lofted ceiling, delicately illuminating the exposed, wooden beams above. The chandeliers — plural — are crafted out of antlers of some kind, cutting between rugged and highly refined.
As stunning as it all is, Seokmin’s mind snags on a single conclusion. You’re the one who voices it, though, much to his surprise.
“This is the most Seonmi thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” you whisper to him, all without taking your eyes off the extravagance in front of you. “Is this a dress rehearsal for her wedding next year?”
He bites down on his lips hard to keep his laughter to himself. Of course, you’re dead on. Nothing about this space feels like his parents, who are supposed to be the sole focus of this entire event. He already found it odd that they agreed to such a big to-do in the first place — especially when it would require their loved ones to go out of their way, literally and financially — but this is….
“Am I being petty, or is this kind of… selfish?”
Petty, no.
Psychic? Probably.
“You’re right, and you should say it.” Seokmin nods and withdraws his arm from yours so that he can drape it properly around your shoulder. “This way to the beer, please. We’ll need it.”
Merely four steps in the direction to the bar, and a screech rings out from somewhere neither of you can locate. In fact, Seokmin’s head is turned the opposite way when someone launches themself at you, damn near ripping you from his hold.
“Oh, my god! I knew you’d come!”
Soyeon’s relief in seeing you is palpable. Seokmin can practically feel his bones being crushed as she hugs you tight, swaying from side to side. He catches a glimpse of your expression, which barely peeks through the curtain of his oldest sister’s hair; you’re far happier now than you were in the elevator.
His sister kisses the side of your head. “I missed you so fucking much. I love my residency program, but I hate how far away it keeps me.”
A solid minute passes by like this. When it starts to get unbearable, Seokmin clears his throat, hoping to remind his sister that she hasn’t seen him in months, either; and he’s also standing right here.
Instead of greeting him, Soyeon shoots you a wry smile. “Who is he today? A fugitive you’re harboring?”
In tandem, the two of you appraise him with thoughtfully narrowed eyes. See, this he didn’t miss: being both of his sisters’ least favorite younger sibling.
“Oh, no, though I can see why you think that.” You shake your head, then reach out to pat his shoulder patronizingly. “If anyone asks, this is a foreign diplomat, and I’m the interpreter he can’t understand a word without. Best not say hi to him; he won’t know what you’re saying.”
Soyeon nods, though Seokmin wonders if she truly gets what you’re trying to achieve. Not quite, he realizes a moment later. Instead, she covers his chin with her hand so she can squeeze both his cheeks at once.
“He’s adorable,” she coos. “Doesn’t look old enough or mature enough for diplomacy, though.”
Seokmin rolls his eyes. “Well, we can’t all be doctors, can we?”
Again, in tandem, all eyes on him widen with feigned shock. Between overlapping gasps of “he does understand!” and “someone’s been studying!”, he shakes off his sister’s touch and scowls.
“If you’re going to keep bullying me, can you at least do it at the bar? That way, I can numb my suffering with booze.”
At this, Soyeon drops the charade and pulls him into a hug like a vice grip. She holds him so tightly that his vision starts to get spotty. It’s not until he gently pats her back, begging for air, that she lets him go.
“I missed you too, Thumper,” she swears, prompting you to snicker.
Now, he’s annoyed for a completely different reason — one that makes even less sense to him. That nickname hasn’t bothered him in the last decade, so it shouldn’t now. Then again, the only person who’s called him Thumper since middle school is you.
The rules are different for you, if they exist at all.
“And I promise to catch up with you later, but I’ve got five thousand questions for Bambi, and the answers aren’t half as juicy with you around.”
Just like that, his plus-one is subtracted.
As much as you love Soyeon, she’s no Seokmin. With him, talking is easy; he never rushes to fill silences, doesn’t steer the conversation with a white-knuckled grip.
On the contrary, his oldest sister comes forward with a pickaxe, smashing through small talk while she mines for the wild stories she thinks she’s missed out on since moving away.
You don’t blame her, really. If you spent all your hours in a hospital, only sleeping in the lulls between other people’s trauma, you’d probably become just as intense — the human equivalent of a cracked-open fire hydrant — in the search for closeness, too.
In the thirty minutes you sit with her, you brief her on all the cliffhangers you’d left her with the last time you saw her.
Yes, you’re still stuck with your lease in the same apartment; and the old lady next door still regularly sets off the building’s fire alarm by accident.
No, you decided not to stay with Kai and haven’t spoken since the breakup; he needed more of your time and energy than you wanted to sacrifice for him.
No, Seokmin still hasn’t gone out with anyone that you know of in months. In fact, it’s been so long since either of you have touched on this topic, especially compared to how little time he and the last girl were together, that you can’t even remember her name.
Beyond that first, limited fact, you keep your mouth shut about the rest. It’s not your business to share; and it wouldn’t kill her to ask Seokmin about himself for once.
The longer you spend with her, the more frustrated you find yourself getting, although you keep this fact to yourself, too. Soyeon and Seonmi have both spent their lives fussing about Seokmin, talking about him like he’s some helpless baby, without doing much to get to know him.
That’s it.
If you were at all confident that Soyeon would take the initiative, you’d let her find all of this out on her own. She won’t, you know, but maybe it’ll sink in if she hears it from you.
“Seokmin’s doing really well, now that you mention it,” you offer, though she barely mentioned him in the first place. “He got promoted last month; he’s now lead architect on that massive commercial lot downtown. Apparently, it’s still a secret, whatever it is they’re putting there. Must be something special.”
Seokmin is something special, you all but yell inside your head.
Soyeon’s eyes brighten.
Nobody loves secrets quite like she does. You wait for the barrage, anticipating all the questions to which you’ll have to respond with “seriously, I don’t know,” but they don’t come.
Instead, she puts her drink back on its coaster, reaches out, and squeezes your wrist with her slightly chilled hand. “I’m grateful that he’s always had you, Bambi. If he didn’t, I don’t know if he’d lean in to opportunities like that.”
The look on her face tells you she means it. Maybe that’s what makes your stomach sour: that she can sit there, hearing of Seokmin’s accomplishments, and still find a way not to credit him for them.
Anger ignites inside of you. The flames lick up your esophagus, ready to explode, and you suck in a breath with every intention of letting her burn.
But then an arm slinks around your waist. Seokmin’s head bumps slightly against yours until you’re cheek to cheek.
“I hope I’m interrupting something.”
For a second, you think his slight tipsiness caused him to misspeak. Tilting your head to the side the best you can, you look at him out of the corner of your eye and catch his very subtle wink.
Soyeon opens her mouth, but Seokmin makes his wish a reality.
“Sorry, sis,” Seokmin says, entirely unapologetically. “I just found out that the band takes requests; and I’ll be goddamned if Bambi and I don’t show you clowns the meaning of dance.”
It takes no encouragement whatsoever for you to slip off your stool, get to your feet, and inch your way closer to his side. Then, like a starting gun was fired, the two of you bolt clumsily away from the bar, with you shouting “sorry!” over your shoulder as you go.
Your heels skid against the dance floor when you finally reach it, but Seokmin steadies you before you can eat shit in front of god and everyone.
“You’re way too expressive, you know that?” The fact that he’s out-of-breath doesn’t keep him from laughing. “I could’ve seen that grumpy turtle face of yours from space.”
Unintentionally, you prove his point, drawing your eyebrows together and frowning. “I do not —”
“— Also, I lied,” he interrupts yet again.
This, coupled with the everything else going on, leaves you too stunned to speak.
“This band is all trot, all the time. They don’t take requests — trust me, I tried — but if you stay here with me long enough, we can kill two birds with one stone.”
Seokmin doesn’t wait for you to answer because he knows it’s a yes. He doesn’t wait for you to assume your position, either, and instead holds your left hand in his right before placing your right on his left shoulder. This close, you feel the urge to tell him how handsome he looks with his hair parted off his forehead. You don’t, however.
The music swells behind you. Seokmin leads, and you follow, swaying slowly and moving across the floor.
“Two birds?” You remember to ask, one eyebrow arched.
His right arm lifts. “Spin,” he whispers. You step under his arm, then twirl. While you’re facing the opposite direction, he continues, “There. Do you see it?”
“Oh, my god.”
You do.
The bar stool you were just occupying is now filled by Seokmin’s great-uncle, Hajoon, while his new and much younger girlfriend, Yunhee, hovers near his shoulder. Even from this distance, you can see the look of abject distress on Soyeon’s face, totally unhidden by her attempt to seem engaged.
You return to your position in front of Seokmin, your hand accidentally landing on his bicep, rather than his shoulder. Flustered by the deceptive bulk there, you immediately scoot your palm back to where it belongs.
He leans in so that only you can hear him. It doesn’t feel necessary at all, given how loud the band’s horn section is, but you don’t recoil this time.
“They had me trapped over by the appetizers,” he explains, low voice making you shiver involuntarily. “Every time he started a story with when I was your age, I wanted to point out that Yunhee hadn’t been born yet.”
You can’t help the laugh that erupts out of you and therefore can’t pull your head away from Seokmin’s ear in time to save him. Instead of wincing or complaining, he looks at you and breaks into laughter of his own as soon as your eyes meet. The effect doubles, and before you know it, both of you are teary-eyed.
“How the hell did you get away from him?”
It’s a feat you've never once managed. Uncle Hajoon’s inability to read a room is equal parts due to his horrible hearing and his tendency to never stop talking. Even if he did leave space in the conversation for you to excuse yourself, you’d never successfully get the message across.
Seokmin lifts his arm again but not for you. He takes his leave to spin himself, simpering as he goes, “That’s where Yunhee came in handy, actually. I didn’t know she had it in her, but she’s not as much of a dud as we initially thought.”
“Oh?”
“She told him that I should be able to dance with my girlfriend, and he shouldn’t keep me any longer.” He shrugs. “It didn’t seem like the time to correct her.”
All the heat in your body goes straight to your cheeks. Nonetheless, you attribute it to the dancing and choke out, “No royalties for me, then.”
“Not this time.” Seokmin shakes his head. “I said that Soyeon was trying to catch up with everyone and would love to hear his stories.”
You bite back a grin. “You’re a bastard, you know that?”
“Maybe.” He smiles with every single one of his teeth. “But you’re free.”
“Surprisingly so. I haven’t felt the Eye of Sauron on me at all yet.” Just in case your statement serves as a jinx, you glance around the room for Seonmi. The tension you’ve been keeping in each one of your muscles slackens when, once again, your radar is blip-free.
“Dinner was supposed to start ten minutes ago. If I had to guess, she’s either leaving a scathing Yelp review or personally waterboarding the chef as we speak.”
“Both at the same time,” you counter, earning a wry smile. “She inherited your mom’s self-assuredness. If she believes she can, she will.”
After the pair of you dance through two more songs, the band breaks, and the hotel’s battalion of waiters come in, bearing domed, silver trays. Seokmin takes off in a hurry for your assigned table in the far corner of the ballroom, so famished that he barely remembers to tug you along behind him.
Through the meal and all its complimentary wine pairings, you do your best to focus on the conversation. Seokmin introduced you to the few people sitting with you that you haven’t had the occasion to meet yet. While he does what comes naturally to him, charming them with ease, you struggle for the first time to pay attention to him.
A few tables over, Seonmi sits down with her fiancé, joining the company of her parents; Soyeon and her date are there, too, leaving Seokmin out by design. Like an insane person, you can only watch her, rather than Seokmin’s blatant theft of bites from your plate. She laughs at whatever jokes her mother cracks, but you’d recognize that look of veiled angst anywhere. She isn’t happy, you realize. You can’t avoid the feeling that you’re the reason why she isn’t.
Time passes, somehow too quickly and too slowly. The plates are emptied, then cleared away by the wait staff — except for your half-empty glass, which is your third. Much like the other guests at your table, the joyful buzz you’d been feeling so far leaves, too.
All that’s left is you, Seokmin, and that ominous, storm cloud you can’t seem to shake.
“You’ll probably feel better if you talk to her.”
He’s always more observant than you give him credit for. You snap out of your zoned-out stare across the room in order to look at him. You frown. “I doubt it. She already looks pissed. Me parading my presence here despite her isn’t going to help anything.”
“Bambi,” Seokmin sighs, not impatient but gentle. “She’s not exactly warm, but she has always liked you. There’s literally no reason why she wouldn’t be happy to see you —”
You open your mouth to argue.
“— that happened over twenty years ago, and you really need to stop feeling guilty about it —”
You close your mouth, cross your arms self-consciously, and sink in your seat. Despite yourself, you glance over at him and catch the way he’s looking at you. He doesn’t need to say the words out loud for you to hear them.
It’s either the unspoken dare, his reassuring, soft-eyed smile, or all the blasted merlot that does you in. You’re not sure which of the three was the coup de grâce, and as you slink off towards her table, you realize it doesn’t matter. For one reason or another, you’ve decided that fear isn’t going to get the better of you this time.
Seonmi somehow senses you coming. Even without the band underscoring your movement, your timid steps across the mahogany parquet should’ve been impossible for anyone to pick up on.
Must be an older sister thing, you think, being doomed to keep a perpetual eye on others.
She doesn’t say anything when you slip into the chair next to her, which doesn’t bode well but isn’t a deal breaker, in and of itself. The important thing is that she doesn’t get up to leave. You tell yourself that this is a good sign. The knot in your stomach begs to differ, however.
Say something.
Say anything.
“Everything’s… lovely, Seonmi, seriously.” You gesture around you, smiling, but she only gives you a cursory look. “You’ve really outdone yourself with this one.”
Seonmi takes a sip of her cocktail — something bitter, the petty voice in your head assumes — and lets the corner of her mouth rise slightly. If it’s the closest thing you’ll get to a smile, you’ll take it. She hasn’t granted you a proper one in the decades since you got gum in her favorite Barbie’s hair.
“Thanks, kid,” she sighs, setting the drink back down on her personalized, cardboard coaster.
You can’t remember the last time she called you “Bambi”, let alone your real name. Just like Seokmin, you’ve always been a child to her. Apparently, you always will be, no matter what you do.
Her grip around the glass remains rigid, not unlike her overall posture. Condensation weeps under and around her manicured fingers, uninhibited. You watch those droplets soak through the coaster’s design, darkening her parents’ initials and wedding date, while you mull over whose turn it is to talk.
Ultimately, as is usually the case, Seonmi makes this decision for you. Without so much as a glance at you out of the corner of her eye, she muses, “It was a lot of work, getting all the details ironed out.”
You pick up on the subtext immediately. One of those details would’ve been the guest list; another, the invitations. Seokmin assumed it was all an accident and said as much to you no fewer than a hundred times, but this little comment from his sister blows his assurances to smithereens.
Your exclusion wasn’t an accident at all.
Suddenly, somehow, the room is twenty degrees colder. You shoot a panicked glance over to where Seokmin was just sitting, wanting nothing more than to slink back to his warmth with your tail between your legs; but he’s not where you left him. In fact, he’s nowhere to be found.
Fuck.
“Ah,” is the best you can do.
And then the two of you sit awkwardly in silence while the seconds age in dog years.
You should’ve brought a drink over with you so you’d have something to do with your hands. Or your phone — except you left it on its charger, you idiot — or a time machine, so you can revoke your bullshit decision to walk over here in the first —
“He deserves that, don’t you think?”
The combined suddenness of her voice and the switch in topics makes you jolt ever so slightly. You try to pass it off, to pretend that you’re simply adjusting the skirt of your dress, but your efforts go unnoticed. Seonmi is too busy pointing casually ahead, drawing your focus to the center of the dance floor.
Like absolutely no one else is watching, Mr. Lee twirls around his laughing wife, his heart-shaped smile beaming so brightly that it almost hurts your eyes. The love of his life has to hold one of her hands over her mouth to keep her laughter from bursting out; the other hand is raised with the rest of that arm, allowing her husband to spin himself underneath. When he’s halfway through, she surprises him, drops her arm down, and embraces him fully, giggling all the while.
It almost makes you tear up — Mr. Lee’s unabashed, silly love, and how much it reminds you of his spitting-image of a son; the way Seokmin’s mother’s eyes sparkle in the same blissful, radiant way his do. Maybe the same can’t be said for his older sisters, but it’s abundantly clear where Seokmin came from. It’s even clearer where he should end up.
“Yes,” you breathe, and it almost sounds like a laugh because of course, he does. Before you can stop yourself, you ask, “Is that really a question?”
No, you realize too late, it’s bait.
Without batting an eye, she counters, “Is it really so hard for you to let him have that?”
Seonmi turns her head to look you dead in the eye. Confusingly, despite her words, there’s nothing in her tone or gaze that reads like malice. If anything, the slight furrow of her brow shouts concern.
Your mind is spinning too fast to keep up with. Whatever her next move is, you’re too dizzy now to see it coming and too disoriented to follow it. With the knot in your stomach tightening further, you stammer, “Is — what?”
“God,” Seonmi drops her face into her hands. “You don’t get it, do you?”
A fish on dry land, all you seem to know how to do is open and close your mouth. You may not be literally flailing, but with the state your mind is in, you may as well start.
“Seokmin loves love.”
She says each of these words slowly, like she’s trying to hammer each nail through a thick skull.
“It’s the one thing he’s wanted most since he was a kid, yet I can count on one hand the number of short-term relationships he’s been in. He doesn’t ever bring anyone home to meet us; he doesn’t bring anyone to weddings, or parties, or holidays; he just brings you.”
Of course, you’ve been right there through all of his situationships. He’s always scant on details when they end — and you’ve never pressed for any — but you know better than anyone that nothing has stuck long-term.
You’ve never thought about how odd this really is, but with Seonmi spelling it out for you now, you can’t come up with a single, good reason why someone as objectively incredible as Seokmin can’t make these things work — or why, even as you rack your brain, the only constant you can find in his life is you.
She glares now, as if she’s daring you to speak; as if you’ve got anything she’d deem worth adding. The bulldozer revs up again, whether you’re ready or not: “You’ve always been the only person he saves space for, whether or not there’s a place for you, and he has no room left in his life for someone to love him like that —”
Seonmi points again to her parents, who are circling slowly on the dance floor, talking softly to one another.
“So, what is it? Do you truly not see what he’s missing, or are you choosing not to because you like his attention?”
Your eyes burn with tears, but you can’t let them fall, and you can’t wrap your head around why that is.
Who are you hiding them from: Seonmi or yourself?
The longer she stares at you, the muddier it gets. You don’t want her to be right. You don’t want to be the kind of person she’s describing; but there’s something awful whispering in the back of your mind, saying that you might be.
You’ve left every relationship you’ve been in, telling everyone who asks in the aftermath that you like being on your own better. But that’s bullshit. It’s not your own company that you keep when you’re single; it Seokmin’s.
He makes sure that you never spend a day feeling alone, that he’s always available over the phone in the rare times he’s not physically with you. As his best friend, he treats you better than every single one of your exes ever has. Like you’re worth more than anyone else will credit you.
What kind of friend are you if you feel relieved whenever his relationships expire?
Seonmi’s hand drops, landing half-heartedly clenched on the tabletop. Just the same, her voice drops until it’s almost a whisper.
“I am begging you,” she pleads, eyes narrowing desperately as they search yours. “If you don’t want him, someone else will. Please just — get the hell out of their way.”
By the time you reach the elevator, all you’re left with is a blur. You’ve already forgotten how the conversation ended, or which one of you was the first to get up. If she said anything else to you, it was drowned out by your own hammering pulse and a looping chorus of voices validating your biggest fear, stating in no uncertain terms that you don’t belong.
You’re shaking when you reach your floor. Heels clicking under unsteady footsteps, you make for room 218; and as you go, you shove your hand into the well-concealed pocket of your dress for the keycard Seokmin forgot to grab himself on the way out earlier.
He’s certainly not in the room when you finally step inside, although you have no clue where he’s gone. It’s for the best. The door closes behind you, and with no one to see it happen, you burst into tears.
All rational thought flies out the window, shaken off by the tornado of utter confusion tearing through your brain. You grab your suitcase, needing nothing more than to be anywhere else, and begin haphazardly throwing your things back inside of it.
Why did you still come with him, knowing it wouldn’t end well? It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve told him no; he would’ve listened if you truly meant it.
If you didn’t mean it when you initially tried to squirrel your way out of this, why not? Was it just your friend asking sincerely that won you over without a fight; or was it because you knew, deep down, it’d hurt to see him bring someone else?
Why would it hurt?
The answer to that will crack the foundation of everything the two of you have built, but only if you admit it to yourself. It can’t threaten you if you don’t say it out loud, don’t make it real.
So, you won’t.
You’ll bury it deeply enough to forget about, repour the concrete, and tiptoe through the rest of your life with your best friend still at your side.
That is, if your friendship survives the weekend — rather, your sudden departure from it — at all.
“Halmoni, it’s time to go back to your hotel, okay?”
He coos this, as if he’s pleading with a toddler at bedtime, because that’s exactly what it feels like to wrangle the drunk, 80-year-old clinging to his arm.
Physically, she needs to hold onto Seokmin to keep herself steady. Mentally, she’s ready to run and has made several attempts to do just that when she thinks his guard is down. It’s no wonder the hotel staff cornered him and begged him for help; she’s too wily for those who don’t know her.
The manager had at least done him the courtesy of hailing a cab. It sits out front, warm and waiting, while he shepherds his grandmother through the lobby.
“— and another thing!” She slurs.
There is never not another thing. She shouldn’t bother concluding her sentences in the first place; she’s never done talking.
“I told your sister — I said, Sunny —”
Seonmi, he dares to presume, although he doesn’t dare to correct her.
“— you can’t have stuff like this —” She gestures animatedly, albeit vaguely around her. “— in places like this and expect retirees to pay for it! I said — oh, what did I say? — Ah, I said, ‘find me the cheapest motel in the area, or I’ll be staying in your room with you’ —”
Her kitten heels hit the brick outside with an angry thwump.
Seokmin can’t help himself. “She didn’t go for that?”
“No!” His grandmother squawks.
The driver sees the ball of a woman wobbling his way and quickly exits the cab, skirts around it, and flings the back door open for her.
“I can’t imagine why, halmoni,” he lies through his teeth, which shine down on her in his best, least sincere smile. “You’re a blast in a glass.”
She roars with laughter, even while two grown adults work together to pour her into the backseat without bumping her head on the doorframe. “Glast in a blass!”
“Exactly. Can you —?”
He gives up before he finishes voicing his request; it’s no use. Instead, he bends down to hug her and finagles the buckle of her seatbelt while she’s too distracted to fight him off. That click is the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard, after the clunk of the door shutting her in.
By the time Seokmin turns to the cab driver, his grandmother is fully slumped in her seat, pilled peacoat rising and falling with every wine-laced breath.
“I am so sorry.” He sighs, which devolves into a sheepish laugh, and fishes all of the cash out of his pocket. No tip could possibly cover the emotional toll of this ordeal, so he does his best and gives the driver everything he has.
The driver’s eyes widen. Seokmin gets the impression that he doesn’t quite understand the task he’s undertaking.
Poor bastard.
Seokmin continues, “My grandfather is at the inn already; he didn’t feel well enough to come here, but he’ll be ready to get her inside once you drop her off.”
“Sounds easy enough.” The driver smiles and holds out his hand to shake.
Seokmin reciprocates, and he declines to explain just how wrong that assessment is. He thanks the man and chirps a quick goodbye to his grandmother before rushing back inside.
Walking into the ballroom, he hopes to find you and Seonmi laughing about whatever misunderstanding had gotten in your way before. At the very least, he expects you to still be sitting next to each other at the same table. That would be good enough, he thinks; he could assist in repairing the situation from there.
The problem, it seems, is beyond his help. Neither one of you occupies the same table. If his quick scan tells him anything, you’re not even in the same room.
No matter which way he turns, he can’t spot you. His sister, on the other hand, is near the far corner, having what looks like a nightmarish conversation with their parents. There are approximately five billion things Seokmin would rather do than get in the middle of that, but you don’t have your phone on you, and he has no other way to find out where you went.
Above the heads of the two women, Seokmin’s father catches sight of his approach. They lock eyes; there’s something insane in his father’s gaze. The older man shakes his head, mouthing “no.”
Seokmin stops short, raises his hands with the palms up to get across his confusion, and mouths back, “Bambi?”
In response, his father extends a single finger and points upwards. He then makes a shooing motion with his hand. His wife and daughter are so engrossed in their argument that neither of them catches the pantomime or Seokmin’s quick exit, back the way he came.
On the elevator ride upstairs, Seokmin worries. The most likely explanation is that you went to find your phone so that you could find him – but you haven’t texted or called him in the time he’s been looking for you, so he supposes it isn’t likely after all.
Maybe, he thinks, the wine caught up to you. You’re not as strong a drinker as you think you are. While he walks down the hallway to room 218, he steels himself. Even though you both hate it, he’s ready to hold your hair if he walks in and finds you with your head in the toilet. That dress looks too good on you not to be expensive; he’d rather talk you out of your embarrassment tomorrow than have you shell out for dry-cleaning.
You didn’t deadbolt the door behind you, which strikes him as odd. In fact, you didn’t even close it properly; it isn’t latched. All he has to do is tap on it for the door to open.
“Bambi?” He calls out before stepping inside entirely, thinking it’s only decent to confirm in advance that he’s not an intruder. “Sorry for disappearing. I had to pour my grandmother into a cab – it was exactly as awful as it sounds.”
The faint rustling sound he hears isn’t coming from the bathroom, which is both dark and unoccupied. Part of him wants to take this as a good sign, but the rest of him wonders if he’s walking in on a burglary. That flicker of fear is followed by a stupid sense of validation:
You always laugh at him when he cites this as his reason for choosing the bed closest to the door; you claim it’s statistically unlikely. Finally being able to say “I told you so” after a robbery wouldn’t make either of your belongings magically reappear, of course. That said, it might make him feel a little better.
But the figure rooting through your suitcase isn’t a bandit at all. It’s you with your coat on.
“Um,” he starts, unintentionally startling you. “What is….”
His question peters out when you look up at him. There are broken mascara tracks down your cheeks, as if you tried to wipe them off without actually looking at them. Above them, your wide eyes are wet, like you’re seconds away from crying all over again. Even worse, you’re trembling.
Seokmin’s only instinct is to reach for you. Before he can wrap his arms around you, you jerk away from him. “Please don’t.”
So, he stops, though he doesn’t understand why. This is quite literally the only time in your life that you’ve pushed him away.
“What’s going on?” Ideally, he’d project calm at a time like this. He just sounds desperate. “What happened with Seonmi?”
“She — um, she didn’t — It wasn’t that bad; I’m just… You know how sensitive I get when I drink wine.”
Like a switch flips, a half-hearted smile takes over the bottom half of your face. It’s not real; if it was, your eyes would light up and crinkle at the corners. Whatever that look is, it’s bullshit.
Seokmin gestures to your suitcase, where everything you brought with you has been unceremoniously shoved. “Sensitive enough to, what, run away? No. I’m not buying it. She said something — or did something — to make you this upset. Bambi, what happened?”
His urgency is selfish, he knows it. Seonmi’s always been way too intuitive for her own good. There’s no way she hasn’t noticed the way he looks at you when you aren’t looking; how god-awful he is at acting platonic.
He tries — has been trying, for a long time now — to shake these feelings off because he knows you’re not emotionally available. Because he knows who he’s supposed to be for you, and how devastating it would be if he threw your friendship away.
That devastation is right in front of him now; and it’ll push you out of his life forever if he doesn’t shut it down. He has to get in front of it.
You strike first, though. “Seokmin, why didn’t you bring anyone else?”
There are two ways for him to interpret that question: with the emphasis on anyone, meaning not you; or as an escape route. For your sake, he chooses the latter.
“She gave me a plus-one, not a plus-two,” he says softly.
Despite his tone, it must hit you like a punch. You nod curtly, once. “Got it. Basic math. Thanks, Seokmin; that was never my strongest subject.”
Foot, meet mouth.
You immediately set back to work, reaching for the lid of your suitcase to close and zip. Before he thinks once, let alone twice, his hand darts out and flattens against the mesh inner pocket on the top, preventing you from doing so.
“No.” He shakes his head firmly. “Not happening.”
You don’t scowl at him the way he expects, nor do you even stop to look at him. It’s far worse than that; your eyes start swimming, focused helplessly on your suitcase.
When you speak, your voice cracks. “I shouldn’t have come in the first place. I knew that this invitation shit wasn’t an accident; I knew I wasn’t welcome to —”
“— You came anyway.” Seokmin doesn’t mean to snap at you, but the point is moot. Softening at the edges, he quickly continues, “And I’m glad that you did because I don’t want to be here with ‘anyone else’.”
It’s not the whole truth, so it may as well be a lie. You know him too well for him to get away with it; it was stupid of him to try. Your head turns, and the slight narrow of your eyes says it all.
I triple-dog dare you to tell me the truth.
This fork in the road has two dead ends. His only options are to do just that or double down and lie straight to your face, while you see straight through him. Either option pulls the pin, he figures, so it’s no longer a question of who gets hurt; it’s who gets hurt worse.
Seokmin jumps on the grenade.
“I don’t want to be with anyone else!”
It comes out too loudly, startling you. In a way, it’s angry, too. He wishes could project that anger onto Seonmi for starting shit, as usual, but the person he’s maddest at is himself for putting you both in this position.
For the first time ever, he can’t decipher the expression on your face. He’d shove his foot into his mouth to try and keep himself quiet, but his adrenaline is firing on all cylinders, and he can’t seem to stop shouting.
“And I’m really fucking sorry to say it because I know you don’t want to hear it, not from me or anyone else. So, you can leave, alright? I’m not going to stop you.”
The force of the surprise almost knocks the air out of him, so quick that Seokmin can’t process what’s happening until his back is flush to the wall behind him — until your hands, flat against his white button-up, curl to grip the fabric, and you kiss him so hard that he sees stars.
You’re surprised too, it seems. When you pull away, chest heaving, you freeze in the same way he does. Eyes searching the other’s, unsure of what to do now that twenty-plus years’ worth of boundaries have been blown to bits.
You whisper, “Are you still sorry?”
Of the five million feelings swelling inside of him — fear, kind of; joy, yes; fucked up by your blown-out pupils, definitely — regret isn’t one of them.
Actually…
He cups your face in his hands like water from a spring, drinks down the sight of you in this new and perfect light. “I’m only sorry that it took me this long to tell you,” he confesses before kissing you back twice as hard.
You’d ask Seokmin to pinch you and prove to you that you’re not dreaming, but the fear you feel at the thought of waking up is too overwhelming.
Even if it wasn’t, he can’t help you, can he?
His hands are far too busy.
Your pretty dress is long gone now, having been shucked off and tossed somewhere out of sight. In its place, it’s Seokmin’s body that now drapes over yours, warm in touch and tone, like molten gold.
His middle and marriage fingers curl inside you, working you up again; and all you can do is cling desperately to his hair, whimper, and wait for the fall.
“I take back what I said earlier,” he murmurs between nips and kisses at your neck.
You can’t ask him to elaborate. You’re too close to careening over the edge for the second time tonight; too busy babbling fucking nonsense.
His simper against your throat reverberates all the way down, lights up your every nerve in tandem like a switchboard. “Only an idiot would tell you to be less expressive.”
The pad of his thumb swirls over your clit; its movement synchronizes with his middle finger inside of you, targeting your weak spot. He presses down on that spongy patch of nerves, and your hips buck involuntarily, a hallmark of your body begging for you while your words fail.
“You were right, though.”
You summon all your concentration. “I’m always right,” you counter. Seokmin pulls his mouth away from the underside of your jaw just to look at you pointedly. “You’ll have to be more specific.”
He picks up the pace of his ministrations, pulling no punches. You’re teetering on the ledge with no real ability to lift your own neck; your head crashes back against the pillow as you wail, clenching and gushing around his fingers.
“I do know how sensitive you get,” he snickers before slipping his fingers from you and sweeping down to kiss you sweetly.
The ringing in your ears has barely subsided, but you’ve decided not to take anymore of his teasing laying down. Slipping your fingers from his hair, you move your hands to his shoulders; and with whatever muscle control you still maintain, you flip him off of you, onto his back.
“How long —”
You climb over his lap and straddle him, placing your palms flat against his chest. It’s as much a show of dominance as it is a carefully disguised trick for balance.
“— have you been waiting to say that?”
Caught red handed, Seokmin shoots you that trademark, heart-shaped smile. His cheeks were already flushed from the effort he just expended on you; that perfect pink only deepens when he blushes and laughs, “What, you think I can’t come up with killer lines in the heat of the moment?”
You scratch your nails gently down the lines of his abdominal muscles. “Nope,” you purr.
Sitting up on his elbows, Seokmin tilts his head to the side and narrows his dark eyes at you. You’re nowhere near used to seeing him look at you like this, like you’re something to be devoured. The feeling of being wanted so badly makes your stomach flip.
“Give me some credit, won’t you?” He asks, voice low. “You’re a knockout; you’re naked in front of me for the first time; and it’s a miracle I can talk at all when I feel this concussed.”
When you lean in, he licks his lips expectantly. You’re close enough to kiss him, of course, but you stop a few millimeters shy of your mark and watch him fight the urge to pout. His eyes search yours, almost pleadingly.
“Is that why you’re still not naked?”
Seokmin’s next move is to reach for the black briefs he’s still got on, but you stop him, encircling each of his wrists with your hands.
“Ah, ah, ah,” you tut with a patronizing shake of your head. “You’re fired. I’m in control now.”
If the little sigh he lets out is any indication, he is very much on board with your self-promotion.
He takes your cue and reels himself in, allowing you to move further down his body, your fingertips hooking under his elastic waistband and tugging as you go. When his length finally springs free, you duck your head to take him into your mouth, beyond eager to feel his weight on your tongue.
“Oh, my god,” he groans, eyelids fluttering, while you swirl your tongue around his head. “Feels s-so —”
The rest of his sentence gets stuck in his throat; you take what you can of him down your own throat, working whatever remains with your hand.
Seokmin wants so badly to watch, you know he does, but he’s sensitive, too. His head tips back, eyes closed and mouth hanging open.
It’s messy, the spit dribbling down your chin and the sound brought forth by the suction of your mouth around him. The obscenity of it all spurs you on. Nothing inspires you quite like Seokmin’s breathy whines and low moans, though. Above all else, it’s his reaction to you that slicks the inside of your thighs.
You’d give him the ending he deserves, right down the back of your throat, but you feel his fingertips graze your shoulder, beckoning you to look up at him.
Voice rough, he pleads, “Come here.”
With his steadying hands on you, you move back into your original position with your bent knees on either side of him. You immediately spot the indent his teeth have left on his lower lip, which is now slightly swollen. Delicately, you brush your thumb over the mark. “Oh, you’re a goner.”
Seokmin looks at you pointedly. Though you tease, you’re even worse off: drunk on the taste of him, as much as the sight of him underneath you, wanting you just as badly.
“Alright, alright,” you concede. “I am, too.”
The hand you use to wave dismissively at him then reaches down between your thighs, fingers wrapping around his cock and lining it up with your entrance.
“But I’m taking you down with me.”
And you do.
So thoroughly that you barely recall him staggering off to the bathroom when all is said and done, the wash cloth he returns with to clean you up, or the way you slump into his waiting arms before promptly falling asleep.
You sleep so soundly, in fact, that you don’t stir when the sun blares through the open curtains. Likewise, when Seokmin carefully maneuvers himself out of the tangle of your limbs and places your head on a real pillow instead, you’re none the wiser.
What finally gets to you is the clatter of the expensive, hotel-issued shampoo clattering against the floor of the shower, echoing off the tile like a sonic boom. You sit bolt upright in bed, staring bleary-eyed in the direction of the bathroom.
As if on cue, Seokmin pokes his head out of the doorway to see if you managed to sleep through the noise. Damp hair splays over his forehead, hanging just as loosely as his lazily-knotted bathrobe. If you weren’t still too sleepy to function, you’d love nothing more than to grab him by that tie and drag him back to bed.
“Shit. I’m sorry, Bambi,” he coos, though his mouth is full of both toothpaste and a toothbrush in a distinctly greener shade of blue than usual.
You merely point at his mouth with a half-powered look of distress, otherwise unable to put your suspicion into words. He doesn’t get it; he glances down at his chest, looking for what he assumes is a stray glob of paste.
When you finally do speak, it’s a prayer: “Please tell me that’s not mine.”
Seokmin blinks at you, then down his nose at the toothbrush he’s using. He cocks his head to the side, opens his mouth to assure you it isn’t, and finally, when the realization makes his eyes widen, he groans.
You wail, “Noooooo!”
Memories of your last trip together clash before your mind — specifically, attempting to navigate a drug store in a foreign language while you shopped for the replacement toothbrush Seokmin is currently holding.
Ears bright red with embarrassment, he ducks back into the bathroom. Immediately, you hear a rush of water from the tap, which nearly drowns out his feeble cry of “I’m sorry!”
“I know it’s an honest mistake, but how do you make it twice?”
You collapse back onto the pillows and bury your face in your palms; and you stay that way, even when you hear him padding softly over to you. The mattress shifts under his weight as he makes his way, one knee at a time, until you feel him looming over you. His hands reach out and gently pull yours from your face.
Before you can get any ideas, Seokmin flattens himself on top of you; a weighted blanket, smelling like vanilla and spearmint. He folds his arms across your chest and props his chin up on the top of his right wrist, bright eyes sparkling as he peers up at you.
Suddenly, you find it very difficult to be annoyed with him. The worst part is that none of this is by design. He always just looks at you this way, not to get out of trouble but because you’re you.
Your hand reaches out of its own accord and brushes the remaining damp strands off his forehead. When your touch lingers, Seokmin leans into it, warming your palm with his cheek.
“Hey,” you say, after failing to come up with anything better.
He beams. “Hi.”
“Why are we awake at this hour?”
That smile of his evaporates slowly, giving way to a grimace you’ve seen before. “Seungcheol and Mingyu want to meet up at the ski lodge before the post-brunch crowd gets there,” he explains. “And I told my parents we’d get breakfast with them first, since yesterday was… well, mostly a disaster.”
“And it will conveniently provide you with time to think of a way out of snowboarding?” You chuckle quietly and pat his cheek.
Seokmin shakes his head firmly, then stretches his neck enough to kiss you.
“No,” he mumbles defiantly against your lips. “I never back down from a triple-dog dare.”
#dokyeom#lee seokmin#dk#svt#dokyeom x reader#seokmin x reader#dk x reader#svt x reader#dokyeom fluff#dokyeom angst#dokyeom smut#dokyeom imagines#dokyeom scenarios#dokyeom fic#dokyeom fanfic#svt imagines#svt scenarios#svt smut#svt fanfic#svt fic#kvanity#re: triple dog dare#i hate tagging shit for people with multiple name variations oh my god#i give up
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Writing on a blog dedicated, at least in spirit, to our dissociative identity disorder, this is something that fascinates me. For context - living with the poster child disorder of "that's not even real" and "you're just faking it to get out of jail" and "you're just histrionic with bpd I know this because I took a psych class once in uni", that some fucking airheads still make their paycheck "criticising" in the psychology field (and teaching), the fear of being declared a faker, an attention seeker, a liar, a self-centered and stage-obsessed criminal-until-proven-otherwise came as a free package with the diagnosis. Just the suspicion of the diagnosis was enough for all of those labels. From whom? Everyone.
The first time I dared to open my mouth to my psychiatric nurse, she was putting me against the wall for lying and omitting, because in her view, I was doing too well with no explanation. In reality, at that point, I'd spent some months after becoming aware of the system getting to know them and reading up on how to get the basics of communication together, and working through the first chapters of Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation, which helped us understand what we needed to do with one another in order to stabilise and feel safer in our everyday life. Things were actually going wonderfully, I wasn't lying, but I was omitting, yes. I was omitting, because even though at that point I knew nothing about DID beyond what I was learning from resources and my friend/now partner, who'd been in the community for a long time and gave us crucial peer support in terms of figuring our situation out, I knew extremely well the stigma associated with "split personality", and our first and primary instinct has always been to hide and cover the existence of the system.
But she was forcing it, so I told her. I was asking for help, yes, but with the context of doing so well - we were winning, and we wanted to keep winning.
She promptly told us we weren't allowed to leave, and started to set us up for involuntary inpatient stay. Exactly what we'd been afraid of the most: that "the psychiatric system" would imprison us and kill us, kill the parts of us who were vulnerable, with cocktails of medication in padded rooms and straitjackets and whatnot that we'd seen in the movies. (And, to a degree, during our actual inpatient stay years before.)
The resident psychiatrist did a quick evaluation of us and released us after, clearly annoyed at the nurse for overreacting and putting us in the extremely triggered and traumatised state that we were in, but it did permanent damage.
Very soon after, we discovered the online "discourse" on the validity of DID, and the "fake claiming" communities. This is all we inherited, first thing, with our diagnosis - which we did get after the above clusterfuck, within a year, with the aid of a specialising therapist and years of notes from our history, or so I assume. I can't remember, it's been years, and I have DID. The point is, even the DID community itself demands that you will never show a bright side to your disorder.
You either suffer all of the time, always, you hate yourself, you hate your other selves, you want to die, and you're forever a mess and you're in eternal war against yourself, or you're faking.
We are not this way and have never been. Prior to discovering the system, we were poorly. To spare the details, at 29 when we were diagnosed, we hadn't worked a day in our lives, dropped out of school at 12, and spent about a decade locked indoors with suicidal spirals being the expected main event of every three days or so. But our main strength has been our us, the family that we have, and the care that we've shown each other all along. Even if we can't love ourselves, we can love each other, and after learning communication - learning to listen, learning to talk - we've been doing phenomenally. Our condition has changed from treatment-resistant and debilitating to actually, we no longer need SSRI medication at all, after being on it for our whole lives. And luckily, this is enough proof for us, but not the world.
No, we're now in that funny place where our partially treated trauma/dissociative disorder looks like too much fun to the world. We're fine and we love each other. We indulge in dressup, we have our own silly little blogs and journals each with their own specific equipment like fancy ink pens and wares of stickers and decor, we have galleries of fake Instagram pictures of ourselves, we use PluralKit on Discord and talk to ourselves like we own the chat - among friends, anyway, or just between ourselves in our private one. All of this means we're fake, fake, fake, fake. God forbid a man has fun. God forbid a woman takes an afternoon to herself to give herself a makeover and go on a date. God forbid a guy just wants to feel comfortable and laugh and express himself, or have a chat with his closest friends.
We're not in enough pain all of the time to be "true" DID anymore. If we were "true" DID then we'd still be in the untreated, pre-diagnosed state. This is a stagnant disorder of identities that may never experience growth or true humanity. All I am allowed to be is a filthy, incapable hikikomori afraid of the world, because anything else is fucking weird to people.
I'm sorry, but. None of your fucking business. I've spent 33 years of my life split squarely on a tightrope over the chasms of "I don't want to die" and "I want to kill myself now". I'm 33 fucking years old and I've earned my goddamn license to feel good, actually. I'm allowed to be fucking weird because I'm developmentally disabled. I will never not be the way that I am, and I also have no intentions to ever be anything but the way that I am, I'm just aiming to be better at it.
This now means that I'm not actually allowed to talk about my disorder... basically anywhere but here and in therapy. No matter where I go, people treat me like a criminal. People who don't have DID tell me I'm faking for clout and larping (LARPing is great by the way and you should absolutely try it out instead of using it as a weird slur online) and they're the champions of true sufferers who are there to nobly remind me that REAL people with DID are actually so in pain all of the time and dying unrecognised while freaks like me... post on Tumblr for attention or whatever I don't fucking know I'm still disabled and in chronic pain and I can't do shit with myself regardless of our overall improvement - and people with DID tell me what I have isn't real DID and I'm "anti-recovery" or whatever because I don't subscribe to their specific dogma of recovery (which, for the record, every single microcosm of the recovery community has their own version of, and they all hate each other for it). The latest edition of how this fucked us over was our choice to write frankly about the positive sides of how the often negatively portrayed coping mechanisms of DID can be turned to work for recovery, and how things like substitute beliefs (believing things that are factually untrue such as 'I am an actual dragon trapped in a human suit' when you're not) can be used not to distance one from reality to escape but help one adapt into it (because I am a dragon in a human suit, a dentist cannot scare me), and had the whole conversation just without warning or any sort of notice deleted from the community. Mods never replied to my request on clarity on what the fuck they were doing and why, and I haven't been back in the community since, either.
And it's hilarious. The whole fucking thing is hilarious. You're faking it if you've recovered too much, because a true sufferer of a severe mental health condition would never recover, but if you don't recover enough, you're anti-recovery, and therefore also faking. There's a slim venue of acceptable suffering in an eternal still-shot in the middle, but you're not actually allowed to exist beyond it or past it in any capacity.
The only true DID case is a non-person who is incapable of growth and change, for a disorder that is all about identity, which by definition is all about growth and change.
I'm so tired of it. Sorry, freaks, I'm gonna freak the way that I freak from now on. I'm too well-adjusted these days to be your perfectly martyred poster patient.
ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.
#this may be completely incoherent as I am presently having the pain of divine punishment laid squarely on me#but it's also important.#to me. personally#so like brain doesn't work I'm about to drop unconscious from the agony but also I must type#... I wrote this for so long the painkiller kicked in and I am no longer in agony that makes me see my ancestors waiting for me.#did#actuallydid
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Safe embrace
pairing: lee felix x afab!reader
genre: fluff, smut, best friends to lovers
wc: 16k
synopsis: your toxic boyfriend leaves you just as you find out you're carrying his child, making your worst nightmare come true. thinking you have no one and you'll have to care for the baby alone, you're pleasantly surprised when your best friend swoops in to help you out.
warnings: toxic relationship, mentions of abuse and cheating, mentions of abortion (all in the beginning), pregnancy symptoms, crying, brief description of birth (nothing graphic)
nsfw warnings: multiple sex scenes, pregnant sex, nipple play, breeding kink, breastfeeding kink, oral (f and m), fingering, unprotected sex, creampies, felix is soft and obsessed
a/n: this was kind of inspired by this drabble i wrote! hope you enjoy the full fic💙 i never wrote pregnant reader and i wanted to write something mostly sweet🫶🏻
~ divider by @strangergraphics
~ masterlist
You were standing in front of your bathroom mirror shaking, the two little lines indicating that you were pregnant.
Your eyes welled up with tears, your worst fear had come true.
You were so close to getting out of your toxic relationship and now you were bound forever to the person who abused you and treated you like crap.
Anxiety took over your body as you started sobbing, he was going to come home from work soon and you had no idea how he'd react to the news.
Around 8pm he walked in, late as usual, you knew he was cheating on you but any time you tried to start a conversation with him, he'd find a way to spin it and make it seem like everything was your fault.
In the back of your mind, you knew it wasn't but three years of verbal abuse can do a lot to a person's way of thinking, and you were used to being figuratively smacked around by your boyfriend, always making excuses for him in your mind; he's exhausted from work, he didn't mean it, someone irritated him, he'll be better next time.
He never got physical, but sometimes you thought it was just a matter of time before he starts slapping you around.
It's not like you never tried to leave, you did.
But, he always found a way to manipulate you into coming back to him and like a fool you always fell for his empty promises.
This time, you decided it was the last time and you finally gathered all of the courage you had.
You were going to leave his sorry ass and never come back again, never fall for his lies again, never feel this miserable but now you felt you had no way out of this.
"What did you make for dinner?" he asked, not even sparing you a glance as he took his tie off.
"Chicken and rice." you answered.
"Good." he said as he continued to strip and you stood there nervously, playing with your fingers.
He lifted his head up and frowned at you.
"What are you waiting for? Serve me dinner, I'm hungry." he looked at you as if you were just a maid in his house and even though you wanted to tell him to put his own damn food on his plate, your tongue was twisted like always and your legs had a mind of their own.
You did what he asked, serving him dinner, before you sat on the other side.
He sat down and started eating. Your heart was beating fast as you kept looking at him.
"There's something I have to tell you." you decided to break the ice.
"What?" he asked, an unimpressed look on his face.
"I- I'm pregnant." you said quietly and he froze before his fork fell out of his hand, clattering against the plate.
Suddenly, he started laughing.
"You're shitting me, right?"
"No, I took a few tests and they're all positive."
He continued laughing and it was not the reaction you expected.
"Whatever. Get rid of it." he said, picking his fork back up and continuing to eat.
"What?" you looked at him in shock, your heart skipping a beat.
"You heard me. I'll pay for the abortion. I don't want to have a child with you." he said like you were the most disgusting thing he's ever seen.
"I'm- I don't want to get an abortion." you swallowed and he looked up at you.
"Well, I don't give a fuck about what you want. You will do as I say."
"No, I won't!" you stood up suddenly and he looked up at you before letting out a chuckle.
"Great, I was looking for a reason to do this." he said before standing up.
"D-do what?" you stuttered, taking a step back as fear washed over you.
"Get the hell out of my house." he crossed his arms and your lips parted.
"You're throwing me out?" your eyes widened.
"Yes, if you don't get rid of that thing, I want you out."
"But I have nowhere to go." your eyes filled up with tears, you had nothing of your own, your asshole boyfriend made sure he was the one to provide you with everything so you had to depend on him.
"Do I look like I care? You're good for nothing anyways. Can't even cook a decent meal and now you wanna have a baby? Ridiculous. The only thing you're good for is spending my money."
His words stung and everything around you started spinning, your head hurt and you had trouble breathing as you started panicking.
"You didn't let me work!" your voice raised as your eyes filled with tears.
He scoffed, coming closer to you as he grabbed your wrist and you yelled for him to let you go but he started dragging you towards the front door.
"I said get out bitch! I don't want anything to do with you and whatever is inside you. If you ever come near me again I'll fucking kill you!" he yelled as he opened the door, literally throwing you out before slamming the door in your face.
You couldn't believe he reacted this way, you thought he'd use your pregnancy to manipulate you even more but he did the opposite.
You really had nothing except your phone in your pocket, not even a jacket as you shivered in the cold night air. Tears kept sliding down your cheeks as you turned and started walking down the street. Your mind was blank for some time while you were trying to process everything that happened.
You reached for your phone and saw you had texts from Felix, your best friend. A smile spread on your face instantly, he was the only good thing in your life, the only light that shined on you in your darkest moments. You decided to call him and he picked up almost immediately.
"Oh, hey bubby! I was just about to text you." he answered cheerfully, as always.
"Lix." you sniffled. "Are you home?" you almost didn't recognize your voice, you sounded broken.
"Y/n, what's wrong?" Felix was worried instantly.
"Can you pick me up? Please?" you couldn't stop crying.
"Of course, tell me where you are and I will be there as soon as I can." he said, already getting up and grabbing his jacket.
You told him where you were and waited as you picked on your jeans.
Felix drove fast, finding you in less than ten minutes. His heart broke when he saw you hugging yourself and shivering without a jacket.
He ran out of his car fast and you looked up at him, fresh tears forming in your eyes. Felix took his jacket off without a word, wrapping you up in it before enveloping you in a hug.
"Shh, it's okay bubby. I'm here now." he soothed you with his warm deep voice, his hand moving in circles on your upper back.
"Let's get you warmed up, hm?" he leaned back to look at you and you nodded.
Felix turned up the heating in the car for you and the ride was silent as he drove you back to his apartment. Your mind started spinning as you stared out the window, all the possible scenarios passed you by and none of them seemed positive.
Felix led you to the couch, wrapping you up in a blanket and running to the kitchen to make you a cup of hot cocoa as you melted into the warm and soft fabric that was hugging you.
It smelled like Felix and it was comforting just like he always was.
"Careful, it's still hot." he smiled as he brought two cups of steaming hot cocoa, before sitting down next to you carefully.
"Was it him?" Felix asked with a serious expression on his face, referring to your, well now ex-boyfriend.
Felix never liked the guy, he could see right through his fake smiles and fake words. You never told him the extent of the abuse but he knew something was wrong.
"He threw me out of his house." you said, clutching onto the blanket and Felix's eyes widened.
"What? What the hell is wrong with him?!" Felix looked angry at that moment, his face becoming red and his hands clenching into fists.
"Because I'm pregnant." you finished, suddenly finding the white rug under the coffee table in Felix's living room interesting.
It was quiet for a while before you felt his hand on yours so you looked up at him and he wore the softest expression you've ever seen on your best friend's face.
"I'm so sorry, y/n."
"Well, it's not your fault. It's mine. I was dumb and let him control me, I should've left him sooner and now he dumped me and said he doesn't want me or the baby. Actually, he threatened me, telling me if I don't abort he will throw me out. And I told him that I'm keeping the baby..."
"First of all, you're not dumb, he is. I knew he was an asshole but I had no idea he was this sick. I can't believe he told you to abort, that's your decision to make anyways." Felix said and you sat quietly as he squeezed your hand.
Your eyes welled up with tears again.
"What am I gonna do now? I have nowhere to go."
Felix scooted closer to you.
"Wrong." he said with a smile and you looked at him. "You can stay here, with me."
"B-but I don't wanna impose on your privacy. And with a baby too..." you felt like a burden at that moment, like you were asking too much of Felix even though he was the one to offer it first.
"Nonsense. You're my best friend, you think I would leave you out on the street? You and your baby are more than welcome here. I will help you with everything you need and you can focus on growing a life." he smiled at you and you burst into tears.
"Y-you're an angel, Lixie." you sobbed as you wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest. "Are you sure this is okay?"
"More than sure, bubs. You know I love you a lot?" he said, his eyes full of warmness as he smiled at you sweetly, caressing your head.
"I love you too, Lixie." you held him tightly.
"Now, drink your cocoa before it gets cold." he chuckled, handing you the cup.
You felt so blessed to have someone like him as a best friend and the horrible feelings that filled you up earlier were now in the back of your mind.
"You must be exhausted." Felix noticed as you kept sinking into the couch while you drank the cocoa and he yapped about his favorite games to get your mind off of everything.
"Actually, I am." you nodded.
"Are you hungry? I'll make dinner and you can take a nice hot shower." Felix smiled.
"I don't even have any clothes." your eyes welled up with tears again.
"You can wear mine. Don't worry about anything." he quickly shook his head and you nodded as he reached to touch your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb.
When you stepped into the shower, you were left with your thoughts again.
You thought about your life, your now ex boyfriend and how you let yourself get into this situation where you couldn't even help yourself and had to depend on someone else helping you.
And now you had a life growing inside you, your ex's words ringing in your head; how you're not capable of doing anything properly, not even cleaning or cooking let alone anything else, how are you going to take care of another human being?
You couldn't stop crying but you didn't want to worry Felix and stay in the shower for too long so you tried to dry your tears and look normal as you got dressed in the clothes he gave you.
Felix turned to look at you as you walked in and his heart hurt when he saw the redness in your eyes and your sad face, you've never looked this down before.
"I made some ramen. That was the fastest thing I could whip up but tomorrow we can go shopping for some groceries because you need to eat healthy from now on. Oh and you're gonna need to make a doctor's appointment. Don't worry, I'll go with you." he talked as he served dinner and you sat with your hands in your lap, crying quietly as your tears soaked the fabric of the shirt you were wearing.
"Y/n?" he leaned down to look at your face.
"I'm sorry, Felix. I just feel so bad." you sniffled.
"Hey, it's okay, really. I told you I don't mind taking care of you, in fact it makes me happy."
"It's not just that." you hiccuped as he sat next to you, grabbing your hands and rubbing circles with his thumbs.
"What is it?" he tilted his head at you.
"I don't think I will be any good at this." your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.
"What? Being a mom?" Felix frowned and you nodded.
"You're gonna be an amazing mom, y/n. I've known you almost my whole life and you're the most caring and responsible person I know. Look, I know everything seems terrifying right now, you just found out you're pregnant and your ex acted like an asshole so you're pretty shaken up. What you need is food and sleep. And to stop thinking about things that haven't even happened yet, hm?" Felix played with your fingers and you nodded, wiping your tears away.
"You're right, I can't even think straight right now. There is so many emotions inside me that I don't know where to start."
"Let's start with dinner." Felix smiled and you were amazed at how calm he seemed.
But on the inside, Felix was seething. He couldn't believe that your ex really had no heart, throwing you away like he did, especially when you're pregnant.
Felix was mad at himself in a way, he felt like he could've done something more to help you get out of the toxic relationship earlier and you wouldn't be as hurt as you are now.
He wished you chose him instead of your ex. Things would've been different then, Felix would treat you like a queen, the way you deserve it.
To you, Felix looked absolutely calm as he smiled at you but rage was bubbling up inside him along with the need to smash in your ex's face. But he held all that down for your sake, his top priority was to make you feel safe, not upset.
"I would give you the guest room to sleep in but it kind of became a storage room. So I'll have to get everything out and clean it up but in the meantime you can sleep in my room and I'll take the couch." Felix said after you got ready for bed.
"Oh, I can sleep on the couch, I don't wanna take your room too." you said, your face burning.
"No way, the couch is not comfortable." he shook his head.
"But isn't that gonna be bad for your back?" you worried instantly, knowing that your friend had back problems.
"I'll be okay for one night." he smiled.
"If you're sure." you chewed on your lip nervously.
"Of course."
Felix changed the sheets and prepared the couch as you barely stood on your feet, the exhaustion from the turmoil you felt washing over your body.
"Everything's gonna be okay, bubby." Felix said soothingly as he gave you a warm hug.
You didn't know what to say to thank him for everything he's doing, instead you just squeezed him tightly making him squeal and chuckle.
"Good night, y/n."
"Good night, Lixie."
As soon as your head hit the pillow, you fell asleep, drowning in the soft sheets and blankets.
Felix tossed and turned on his couch, mind racing with thoughts.
He thought about how much you meant to him, how much he had always loved you and wanted to be with you, but it was like you were blind to his love and instead kept running to your asshole ex.
He thought about how scared you must be, a protective feeling waking up inside him along with all the other feelings he had for you that he needed to learn how to suppress because you had a boyfriend.
Felix decided he was going to do his best to show you that love is supposed to be soft, comforting and sweet, not whatever your asshole ex made you believe.
The next morning when you woke up, you were confused for a second until you rubbed your eyes and looked around.
Seeing you were in Felix's room, everything that happened last night came flooding back, some kind of fear washing over you but the fact that you were surrounded by Felix's comforting scent and his things managed to calm you down.
He always had this effect on you, that's why you kept one of his hoodies for years even though it didn't even smell like him anymore; it belonged to him and that was enough to comfort you.
Shit! Your things!, you remembered, your ex threw you out without giving you any of your clothes, your knick-knacks and most importantly your laptop.
You slowly got up, following the sounds of utensils that were coming from the kitchen.
As soon as you entered, you saw a very disheveled Felix running around the stove like a busy-bee.
The smell of eggs hit you and your stomach started rising up to your throat.
"Oh, good morning y/n." Felix turned to look at you just as you covered your mouth with your hand. His eyes widened as you turned around, running to the bathroom.
"Shit." Felix cursed under his breath, turning the stove off and running after you just in time as you leaned over the toilet.
He quickly gathered your hair in his hand as you threw up, his other hand moving in soothing circles on your upper back.
"Ew." you whimpered as your eyes teared up.
"Are you okay?" Felix asked cautiously when you flushed the toilet.
"The smell of eggs was too much. I didn't think this would start already." you groaned and Felix chuckled.
"Damn, my cooking sucks that bad, huh?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood and you giggled.
"We can work on that." you winked as he smiled at you.
"You know what? I will look up what's good for you to eat right now with the sickness and all, and I'll make it for you." he said.
"That's sweet, Lixie but I can make it myself, don't worry about it." you quickly shook your head.
Felix pouted at you before grabbing your face. Your heart skipped a beat.
"Listen to me. I enjoy taking care of you so let me do this for you."
"Fine." you sighed as you made your way back to the kitchen.
"Remember that time in high school when you got shitfaced?" Felix smirked at you, throwing the half-burnt eggs in the trash.
"Oh my god, please don't talk about that." embarrassment washed over you.
"Come on, we can laugh at it now. You were so funny, you couldn't even talk properly. And you tried to climb on the table and dance. I think if I didn't catch you, you'd probably break a bone or something." Felix snickered as he searched up some breakfast ideas on his phone.
"Ha ha, very funny that I almost got a concussion by being a lightweight." you rolled your eyes with a smile.
"Nah, I would've caught you before you hit the floor anyways." Felix smiled, making your stomach flutter.
"Hey, I have some of these things in my kitchen. Oats and almonds and such." he showed you a recipe he found and you nodded.
"I can make that too, it's no biggie." you started getting up but Felix shook his head.
"I know you can. But I want to do it for you."
You couldn't argue with him and he seemed genuinely happy about making you breakfast so you sat down and waited, playing with your fingers.
"You know, I remembered that I never had the chance to get all my stuff from my ex. My laptop is still at his place." you chewed on your lip.
"I'll get them." Felix said nonchalantly as the two of you ate.
"A-are you sure? He can be... an uncomfortable person." you grimaced and Felix chuckled.
"Bubby, I have a 3rd degree black belt in taekwondo. I could break him in half if I wanted to." he smirked, making you giggle.
"You're right, I forgot with how innocent you look." you teased and Felix laughed.
"All the better. He won't know what hit him." he sat up straight then made a few moves with his arms acting like he was cutting the air into pieces.
"Okay, just don't get in trouble, killer."
-
When Felix left to get your things, you decided to clean up the kitchen. You didn't want to feel like you were just waiting for him to do everything for you, you wanted to do your part and help him out when he took you in without even thinking twice.
Felix must be an angel, that's what you thought as you smiled to yourself while washing the dishes.
Your angel was currently parked in front of your ex's house, his hands gripping the steering wheel, knuckles turning white from the way he held onto it.
He was trying to calm his anger down, the one that surfaced as he thought about your disgusting boyfriend yelling at you and throwing you out into the cold night.
Felix had to walk in there with a cool demeanor, otherwise he would end up letting his anger get the best of him and he'd show the guy just who he had crossed.
After taking a few deep breaths, Felix finally made his way to the door and knocked. Shuffling could be heard from the other side before your ex opened the door, giving Felix the elevator eyes.
"Oh, you." the guy scrunched his nose up.
"I'm here to pick up y/n's things." Felix said calmly.
"Whatever, just do it quickly. It's junk anyways, you saved me the time I would lose throwing it out." he shrugged and Felix could feel the anger course through his veins but he had to bite his tongue.
He tried to gather all your stuff as quickly as he could, putting it in a bag he brought, making sure to take your laptop too. A small smile danced on his lips when he saw you still had his favorite hoodie. He grabbed it and put it in the bag too before turning around to leave the room.
"I'm assuming y/n ran to you immediately." your ex scoffed. "Makes sense, she's not capable of taking care of herself anyways."
Felix's eyes darkened.
"You better watch what you say." his voice dipped low.
"Or what?" your ex folded his arms on his chest, staring at Felix.
"Or you'll regret it."
"Ooh, I'm so scared!" he mocked as Felix made his way out of the house.
"Don't even think of coming near y/n again or trying to contact her. Matter of fact, I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again." Felix said and turned on his heel, not giving your ex time to respond as he frowned on the porch.
-
"I had no idea you kept my hoodie." Felix smiled as you rummaged through your things and your face heated up.
"Oh... Of course I did. It was a gift." you smiled back.
"Yeah, I remember that day like it was yesterday. We were at Jeongin's birthday party."
2 years ago
You had been invited to yours and Felix's mutual friend's party for his birthday. Getting your boyfriend to go with you was another story.
"Why do I have to go? I don't even know Jeongin well. And why would you want to go there alone? We should stay at home." he said.
"But Jeongin is my friend! He invited me and I already bought a gift."
"So what? You can just give it to him some other day. I was hoping we could stay in tonight." he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him.
"B-but I really want to go." you said.
"Fine. Go. But there will be consequences."
"What?" your eyebrow lifted in shock. "What are you talking about?"
"If you want to find out, just go to the party." he smirked at you.
"I- Just... just come with me? Please?"
He looked at you, pursing his lips as he thought about it. There would be so many guys there, is what ran through his mind. He didn't think you were that pretty but a horny drunk guy would fuck anything that walks so he decided it would be best if he went just so he could keep an eye on you.
"Fine."
Unaware of his thougths, you squealed happily, giving him a hug.
But everything went wrong at the party. Your boyfriend thought you had lingered too much while hugging Jeongin, making his delusional mind come up with all sorts of scenarios of you cheating on him.
He got drunk and made a scene, calling you a cheap slut before he left the party, leaving you behind. You cried as you ran to the back porch, wanting to catch some fresh night air in hopes of calming down.
"Hey, you okay?" it was Felix, who followed after you.
"Not really." you sighed, wiping your tears away as you shivered.
He noticed you were cold so he took off his hoodie.
"Here, you can have it." he smiled sweetly at you, making you melt instantly as you thanked him.
"You know you can do so much better than him, right?" Felix asked as you drowned in the warmth his hoodie provided.
"We all have our flaws, Lix. He's not that bad. He'll realize he was wrong and apologize to me once he's sober." you shrugged.
"Are you sure? Because if he-"
"Lix, it's fine really. You don't have to worry."
Of course it wasn't fine, the whole relationship kept spiralling downwards after that, bringing you to your current situation.
"Y/n?" Felix brought you out of your thoughts as you clutched onto his hoodie.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I got distracted." you smiled and he smiled back at you. "Lixie, thanks for being there for me always. I know I kind of ignored you lately but my ex didn't like me talking to other guys."
"What an insecure pig." Felix said and you chuckled. "But of course, I told you I'd always be there for you. Now, I'm gonna clean out the guest room and then we can call to make a doctor's appointment, does that sound good?"
"Yeah, sounds perfect. Do you need me to help?"
"No, it's all heavy stuff i have to move." Felix shook his head so you offered to make lunch.
While you were making it, you remembered what your ex said.
'Can't even cook a decent meal and now you wanna have a baby? Ridiculous.'
Your eyes watered instantly and you quickly wiped off the falling tears, continuing to cut veggies. You heard Felix moving around stuff and grunting as you cooked, humming to yourself.
"All done." he came into the kitchen with his hair messy and a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.
Something stirred in your gut for a moment but you ignored it.
"I'm almost done too. The smell of the meat is bothering me a little." you said and Felix gasped.
"Oh, let me finish up then." he quickly made his way to you.
"Maybe you should shower first." you took a step back from him and he pouted.
"Are you calling me stinky?"
"Mhm." you grimaced and he laughed.
"Fine, I get it. Be back in 5 minutes." he practically ran out of the kitchen and you let out a breath you were holding.
It wasn't that the scent of him made your stomach rise, quite the opposite, he suddenly smelled even nicer to you than before and once he came closer you felt it in your core. You scolded yourself for thinking about Felix like that and tried to ignore it as you finished up lunch.
When Felix came back, his hair still damp from the shower you looked at him in anticipation as he sat down to eat. Anxiety washed over you as you expected to be chastised for being a lousy cook even though you know in your heart Felix would never say something like that.
"Mm, this is delicious. I must say, I don't eat very healthily since I work a lot and this is refreshing." he smiled at you and relief took over.
"Thank you, I'm glad you like it." you smiled back at him.
After lunch, you called to make a doctor's appointment and Felix had some work to do on his computer, luckily he was mostly working from home as a programmer, only going to the office twice a week or more if needed for a project.
"I hope the bed is comfy enough." Felix said as you were getting ready to sleep in the guest room, which was now your room.
"Lixie, please, I'm grateful to have a bed at all." you sighed and he grabbed your hand.
"We'll get through this." he whispered and you nodded.
"I know."
A few days later, Felix and you walked out of the hospital with news that you were 6 weeks pregnant and that thankfully the baby was doing well.
"See, you had nothing to worry about." Felix smiled at you as the two of you got in his car.
But your emotions got the better of you immediately as you started crying.
"Oh, y/n?! What's wrong?" he leaned towards you, worry evident in his voice.
"I don't know, I- I think I'm crying from relief." you sniffled and Felix smiled at you fondly. "Let's just go home." you added, not even realizing that you called his apartment 'home'.
But Felix did, and his stomach filled up with butterflies that wouldn't stop flying around his insides until he parked in front of the building.
"I'm not feeling the best." you clutched at your stomach as you walked in, the feeling of nausea taking over your body. It was exhausting but you kept trying to remind yourself that this was just a phase, the worst part of it and that it will get better with time.
Some days it worked, other days it was unbearable. Today seemed to be one of those other days as your emotions were all over the place.
"Okay, go lay down and I will make some lunch."
Felix took it all so seriously, stepping up immediately as if it was his baby which made your heart clench in your chest. He made sure you were comfortable, brought you some tea and crackers for nausea, even pressed his lips on your forehead as he tucked you in.
When he left the room, tears started sliding down your cheeks and soaking your pillow.
You felt like you didn't do anything to deserve someone like Felix taking you in, and the burden of a baby that had nothing to do with him and you had no idea why he would go to such lengths to make you feel good. Yes, of course you knew that he cared about you but you felt beyond grateful and humble, trying to think of a way to give back.
But, Felix saw this as a second chance with you. A chance he would not let go to waste like he did before, when he held his tongue and his feelings back, never even hinting to you how much he loves you. It was enough for him that you were there and that everything was fine with you and the baby, the rest was not as important.
"I can't believe you're actually pregnant." Felix chuckled as the two of you chilled on the couch after dinner, some romantic comedy playing on tv.
"I can't believe it either." you chuckled with him. "I think it'll be more believeable when I start looking the part." you added and Felix froze for a moment.
How could he forget?
He'd already noticed your breasts getting bigger and he felt bad for the way he kept stealing glances at them all the time, but at the end of the day he's just a man.
It wasn't his fault that they looked rounder, and that you didn't care to wear a bra next to him, your nipples poking under the material of your shirt constantly, the way they swayed or jiggled with any movement you made.
Felix felt his dick twitch and he started beating himself up immediately. It's barely been two weeks since you were at his place, and he knew you were vulnerable and the last thing he would want to do was to make you feel like he was pouncing on you instantly.
God, he got so used to keeping his feelings and urges about you to himself, why was that so hard all of a sudden?
"Excuse me." Felix stood up rather quickly and you looked up at him shortly, watching him scramble to get to the bathroom.
You shrugged, continuing to watch the movie as you snuggled closer to the spot he was lounging in, the couch still warm and smelling like the body wash he used earlier. For some reason, you wanted to roll in it but you settled on stealing his spot and taking deep breaths.
Felix was trying to exercise deep breathing too, as he stood in the bathroom, willing his cock to soften up. Just the thought of you being all round and cute had him so worked up. How is he supposed to survive this?
Somehow, he managed to calm down and when he came back to the living room, his heart fluttered when he saw you dozing off in his spot.
"Bubby? You wanna sleep?" he said quietly, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear gently.
"Mm." you mumbled, half asleep.
"Cutie." Felix chuckled fondly before he gently lifted you up and carried you to your room.
"Lixie." you reached out for him blindly as he laid you down.
"It's okay, I'm here. Get some rest." he caressed your head before going back to the living room.
Your dreams were filled with images of your best friend that night, fleeting pictures of a relationship that never happened appeared in your mind, ending with the two of you holding a baby in your arms.
Couple of weeks later, you and Felix fell into a nice rhythm. He was mostly home, only having to go to the office twice a week, sometimes four days if he was working on a bigger project. You were glad he was there because your nausea has gotten worse and Felix didn't mind helping you out as always, cooking and cleaning together with the work he was doing.
You felt bad for that again, crying to him how you feel like you're not doing anything in the house and Felix was quick to shut all those thoughts down.
"Y/n, you are growing a literal human being. That's exhausting, your body is changing rapidly and you're scared. And that's normal and it's okay." Felix held you in his arms.
"How are you so understanding?" you hiccuped as you gripped his shirt, soaking it with your tears.
Because I love you.
Because I wanna make you happy.
Because you deserve this and more.
"I've been reading some books." Felix smirked playfully instead of saying all the other thoughts that crossed his mind at first.
You looked up at him before bursting into laughter, smacking his chest as he giggled at you.
It was getting harder for him every day, living with you and being together 24/7 felt so domestic, especially with you being pregnant and Felix kept daydreaming that the baby inside you was his baby too.
It didn't help that your tits just kept getting bigger and that you finally had a little bump to indicate the precious life growing inside you and Felix was obsessed with the way it looked on you.
You were slowly coming to terms with it, everything felt so surreal because it was happening so fast and you knew that even though it seems hard and exhausting right now, the baby would come very soon and then the real work will begin.
You spent a lot of time looking at your body in the mirror, checking it out and trying to accept that you were changing forever. It was hard but Felix was there for you, taking care of you, never missing a doctor's appointment, cooking for you, his arms always open to take you into his embrace where you felt the safest.
You had no idea how you'd get through all this if it wasn't for him, so when he left to work at the end of the week, you decided to make him a chocolate cake as a thank you even though you knew the pastry wasn't enough for what he was doing for you and your baby.
You were glad you woke up feeling somewhat less nauseous that day so you could function normally. Baking the cake proved to be fun as you blasted some music and enjoyed making something sweet for Felix.
"Bubby, I'm home!" he yelled out as he walked in around 4pm, while you were cleaning up in the kitchen.
"Hey, Lixie." you smiled at him as he came into the kitchen.
"How are you feeling?" he made his way to you, his arms wrapping around you automatically.
"Good, actually." you melted in his embrace as he held you from behind, his hand sliding down to caress your tummy. It was comforting when he touched you like that.
"Something smells nice." Felix chuckled, burying his face in your hair and you could feel the tip of his nose brushing against your neck. Goosebumps appeared on your skin as you pressed your body back into his without even realizing it.
"I baked you a cake." you said, not noticing the way Felix's breath hitched when your backside pressed into his middle.
"You did?" he asked happily, moving away from you because he was moments away from losing his mind.
"Mhm, chocolate, your favorite." you said as you walked over to the fridge to take it out.
"You spoil me, bubby." he grabbed your face, kissing the tip of your nose.
You were so close to grabbing his shirt, pulling him into you and kissing his sweet, inviting lips.
"You should eat lunch first. Dessert later." you said and Felix chuckled.
"I ate at work. I want my treat." he pouted, acting all sulky and you couldn't resist his adorable face.
You cut two pieces and the two of you sat down.
Felix dug in immediately, you knew he always had the biggest sweet tooth and he baked you his brownies hundreds of times so you wanted to show your appreciation.
"Mm, I love it!" he smiled happily and your heart fluttered as he munched on the cake cutely.
"Really? Is it better than your brownies?" you smirked, teasing him and he coughed a little before smirking back at you.
"Let's not go that far." he teased back and you smacked his arm playfully as he chuckled.
Fridays were always reserved for movie night and cuddles so later that evening Felix and you were settled on the couch together.
You noticed he looked tired and kept touching his neck, grunting under his breath quietly.
"Are you in pain?" you asked and his eyes widened a little before he looked at you.
"Oh, it's nothing. I just didn't have any time to stretch today because we had this big project to finish up before weekend. Basically, my neck and shoulders are on fire but it'll pass, it always does." Felix shrugged, waving it away with his hand like it was nothing.
"Lixie, let me give you a massage. I wanna help." you offered, having no idea that the thought of your hands on him like that had Felix twitching.
"No, it's fine really. You don't need to do that, I'll just sleep it off."
"Nonsense, come on." you motioned with your hands and Felix nodded, not wanting to upset you as he turned around.
He took a deep breath in, trying to calm down as you gathered his hair out of the way, your fingertips brushing against his sensitive neck and ears, making him shiver.
A blush appeared on his freckled cheeks, spreading to the tips of his ears and down to his neck as you sat closer to him, your legs around his frame as you put your hands on his shoulders.
"You're so tense." you snickered quietly, your breath hitting his skin.
"Ha... yeah, well I was sitting at my desk all day." Felix bit his lip, shutting his eyes tightly as you started to massage him.
"Jeez, relax. You're so stiff." your gripped his shoulders, trying to roll them back a little and he laughed nervously.
"Oh you have no idea." he said and you furrowed your brows, shaking your head as you continued giving him a massage.
He managed to relax after some time as you worked your magic on his neck and shoulders. It was so quiet around you that the action felt so intimate and you found yourself scooting closer to Felix. His neck looked pretty and inviting and suddenly you just wanted to press your lips on his skin.
And that's exactly what you did as you leaned in, mindlessly pressing your lips on the back of his neck.
Felix nearly jumped out of his skin as he turned to look at you, his face red as a tomato.
"What was that for?" he swallowed and you chuckled embarrassingly, playing with your hands.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I- I just leaned in and-"
"No, it's fine." Felix saw that you were getting upset immediately, your mood swings getting the better of you lately. "Just wasn't expecting it."
"Is you neck better?" you asked, ignoring the way your face burned.
"Oh yes, definitely. Thank you for that, bubby." he smiled at you and you felt warmness spreading inside your chest.
-
Felix laid in his bed restless. He couldn't stop thinking about your touches and the way you kissed his neck. He couldn't help it as his hand wandered down to his boxers, gripping his bulge before he started palming himself.
"Fuck." he grunted quietly, biting down on his arm as he pushed his underwear down just enough to take his leaking cock out and wrap his fingers around it.
He felt dirty for it but his mind swam with thoughts of you as he sped up, trying to finish as quickly as he could. He checked up on you earlier and you looked so sweet while sleeping soundly, he knew you felt safe with him and that was his number one goal.
He wanted nothing more than to make you feel comfortable and relaxed, to make you feel good. He wished he could cross the line and bring you pleasure the way you deserve it. With how selfish your ex was, Felix doubted he ever made any effort around you in that area too.
His mind wandered to your body then, specifically to your chest and he imagined himself sucking on your sweet nipples and that was enough to make Felix snap as he twitched and came all over his hand and abs.
He gasped, riding his high, his eyes teary.
After cleaning up quickly, he laid back in bed and fell asleep fast, trying not to think about the fact that he just touched himself to the thought of you.
-
"Lixie?" you gently knocked on his door before opening it, tears sliding down your cheeks.
"Felix?" you slowly made your way to his bed and he groaned in his sleep, his eyes fluttering open.
"Y/n?" his voice was deep and scratchy as he squinted at you. "What's wrong?" he sat up when he noticed you were crying.
"I had a nightmare." you sniffled and his expression softened as he lifted up his blanket.
"Come here, bubby." he invited you in and you plopped down in his bed, settling your back against him. It wasn't the first time you cuddled like that but you haven't shared a bed in so long, not since you started dating your ex.
Felix wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his body gently, nuzzling his face in your hair and the back of your neck.
Goosebumps rose on your skin as he caressed you gently, his hand landing on your tummy.
"Wanna talk about it?" he whispered, his lips brushing against your skin.
"N-no. It was about my ex and I don't wanna give him any more attention that he doesn't deserve."
"He's not gonna hurt you or your baby. And if he tries I will fucking kill him, so don't worry about him sweetheart." Felix held you a bit more tightly, but was still careful with your tummy.
"Lixie. I love you." you kissed his hand as your fingers entwined and he smiled.
"I love you too, bubby. More than you know."
And with that you fell asleep in Felix's safe embrace.
After that night, you had a hard time falling asleep alone; Felix's body warmth and his comforting presence lulled you to sleep so you sneaked into his bed.
Eventually, Felix told you that you can just sleep in his bed freely every night and you were more than happy to do that.
He loved having you close, but there was a battle inside him, having to resist the craving he had for you was harder than he thought it'd be. Especially when he'd wake up in the morning and watch you sleep so soundly.
It was one of those morning where he woke up first and watched you. Your belly was bigger now along with your breasts and Felix thought you looked adorable. He was admiring you, how strong you are, after everything your ex put you through and left you alone with a baby you were taking it so well. You never complained about anything, even if you were in pain but Felix knew you too well so you couldn't hide it from him.
He wanted to make your pregnancy as comfortable as he could, the thought of you suffering made his chest hurt. Felix caressed you gently as he thought about you and how much he loves you. He couldn't help himself, the emotions that have been building up even more now that you were here and so vulnerable with him started overflowing his heart, traveling through his veins and spreading through his body.
Warmness enveloped him as his cheeks burned and he leaned in, pressing gentle kisses on your cheek, down to your jaw and neck.
You stirred a little but didn't wake up as his lips touched your skin, his hand caressing your belly.
"L-Lixie?" you muttered, still half asleep.
"Bubby." Felix grabbed your face as you turned to look at him, your eyes fluttering open just in time when he leaned down and pressed his lips on yours. You gasped a little, but still kissed back as he moved his plump lips against yours.
Your heart picked up speed and you were shocked that he was kissing you out of nowhere but at the same time it was so comforting and sweet to feel his lips against yours. Felix started letting go of everything he held back, his hands slowly sliding on your arms down to your waist and belly before resting on your hips.
He licked at your lips with his tongue and you let him in, your entire body burning up. You haven't been touched passionately since forever and being pregnant meant you were extra sensitive plus it was Felix. He was your everything.
He overwhelmed you with his scent, his warmth, his touch and you melted into the sheets as his tongue massaged yours, his hands grabbing at your plushy thighs.
You gasped for air once he leaned away, looking at you with hooded eyes.
"Lixie, w-what..."
"Shh, bubby. Will you let me worship you?" he licked at his lips as his darkened eyes ran all over your body, lingering on your breasts.
"B-but... My body doesn't look the best right now. Pregnancy did things to me like stretchmarks a-and-"
"Y/n, you look fucking beautiful. Let me show it to you." he persisted and you nodded, your heart skipping a beat in excitement.
Felix leaned down to kiss you again before his lips traveled to your jaw and neck. He licked at your sensitive spot, biting the skin and sucking on it, eliciting a small moan out of your lips.
His hands slid up to cup your breasts and you whimpered as he squeezed gently, running his thumbs on your sensitive nipples.
"Wow." he lifted up and stared at them, pressing them together and you chuckled. Felix's face became red as you looked at him intently while he played with your nipples.
He gripped the end of your shirt and you nodded so he took it off, his mouth practically watering at the sight of your body. You were left only in your panties and he could already see a wet patch appearing on them.
Felix stared at you making you feel self-conscious for a moment, your arms coming up in an attempt to hide yourself.
"Don't hide, bubby. You look perfect." he gave you a small smile, his hands on your breasts again.
"Lixie." you whispered as your breath got caught in your throat.
"Mm, they're so big." he leaned in closer to your chest. "Please." he whimpered as he massaged them gently.
"Okay. Just be gentle." you said quietly.
"Of course." he said before running his tongue over your sensitive bud.
You whimpered, instantly feeling a wave of hotness run through your body, your pussy dripping and soaking your already damp panties. Felix wrapped his pretty lips around your nipple and started sucking, his eyes fluttering shut in delight as he moaned around you.
You were getting incredibly wet, probably because of your hormones, you were more turned on than ever, your pussy throbbing for to be touched.
"L-Lix." you whined as he gently kissed your breasts, alternating between massaging them and sucking on them.
His hands slid over your belly and he smiled at you.
"You're so beautiful. And strong. You know that?" he said and your eyes watered.
"Stop praising me, I'm gonna cry." you answered, feeling sensitive everywhere.
"If it's happy tears then they're welcome." Felix pressed a kiss on your belly as he rubbed your thighs, his fingers tracing your stretchmarks.
"Is this okay?" he asked and you nodded.
He looked at your bump, almost going cross-eyed from the closeness of it and you stifled a laugh.
"Sorry baby, close your eyes and ears now." he grimaced and you let out a chuckle.
"Gotta make mommy feel good." Felix smirked at you, his hand coming closer to you panties.
He ran his middle finger on your folds and you whimpered, shivering instantly.
"So wet for me, hm?" he looked smug and your legs shook for a moment as you nodded.
"Take them off, please." you whined quietly.
"Anything you want, my sweetheart." Felix said before hooking his fingers in your underwear and sliding it down. He threw it somewhere behind him, his eyes fixed on your pretty pussy.
His brows furrowed as he brought his finger between your folds, going up and down slowly, spreading the wetness on your clit and pressing into it in circular motions. You were so sensitive that you couldn't contain your moans or your middle chasing his touch and Felix observed you, how quickly you were unraveling because of his touch.
"Can I taste you, bubby?" he gave you his puppy eyes and you giggled.
"Sure." you could never say no to that face.
Felix leaned in, the tip of his tongue licking at your clit immediately and you moaned loudly, your hand flying to his hair. He groaned when you gripped the blonde strands, encouraging him to taste you further. He let his tongue slip between your folds as he closed his eyes, enjoying your pussy like it was his last meal ever.
Your legs were shaking, automatically trying to close around his head which you couldn't even see properly because of your bump. You gripped his hair harder as you lifted up a little to see his face, his eyes closed as he kept moaning into you, looking all blissed out giving you pleasure like that.
It made you even more wet to see him enjoying it, his nose brushing against your clit perfectly as he made out with your pussy, pushing his tongue as deep as it can go, fucking you with it while he gripped your thighs.
"I'm- I'm close!" you whimpered, pulling on his hair harshly and making his eyes roll back in his head.
"Cum for me, bubby." Felix groaned, his deep voice even deeper in his arousal as he kept devouring you.
"L-Lix! Lixie!" you almost pulled all his hair out as you gripped hard, your legs closing around his head while you painted his face in your release.
Felix loved it, loved that he made you feel so good that you fell apart against him.
"Mm..." he lapped you up as you shook from your intense orgasm.
"Need more." you whispered, feeling like you were out of your mind in that moment.
"Of course, beautiful. Tell me what you need." Felix hovered over you, ready to make any wish you have come true.
"Y-your fingers." you moaned and he smirked, bringing the tips of his fingers on your folds.
"My fingers? How many?"
"Two." you answered quietly as he kept smirking.
"As you wish." Felix ran them on your wetness before slowly pushing them in. You moaned, gripping at the sheets instantly as you took in the way he looked, all disheveled and worked up from tasting you. A shiver ran down your spine as he pushed in, your pussy taking his fingers with no resistance.
"Fuck, what a good girl you are." Felix groaned as he started moving his fingers inside you, the wet sounds made your ears red in embarrassment.
"Oh you like that?" he smirked as you clenched around him. "You like being called a good girl?"
"Yes." you moaned out, pushing up into his hand as he started fucking you faster, the tips of his fingers finding that special spot quickly.
"What about my good girl?" he emphasized, making you clench around him yet again so he sped up, the force of his arm making you shake.
"Y-yes! Oh my god!" your legs shook as he started quickly flicking his fingertips over your clit while pounding into your sweet spot.
You were starting to see stars as you moaned loudly, and Felix leaned in to suck on your nipple, making it the last straw before you clenched around him and squirted all over his hand.
"Oh." you gasped as Felix looked at you.
"That's so hot." he groaned.
"Lixie, please." you felt like your mind was gone and all you could think about was his cock filling you up.
"Mm?"
"Please, fuck me." you gripped at his arm and he chuckled.
"Never thought I'd hear my sweet bubby say something so dirty." he chuckled and you smacked his arm, feeling annoyed and needy.
"Never thought this could happen but here we are." you said, pulling him closer with your legs.
Felix chuckled as he took off his underwear, now completely naked and you looked down, mouth watering at the sight of his pretty dick, all hard and leaking just for you.
He saw the way you were looking at it so he pressed his tip on your folds, massaging them a little before slowly pushing his tip in.
"Ah!" you moaned, gripping at the sheets as Felix stretched you, slowly filling you up until he bottomed out.
"You feel perfect around me, bubby." Felix groaned as he leaned down to kiss you, making you taste yourself on his lips and tongue.
Your legs wrapped around him and you brought him as close to you as you could.
"Just be careful." you whispered and he smiled, caressing you face as he looked at you lovingly.
"Always." his hands slid down to your hips as he leaned up and started moving inside you slowly, dragging his cock against your velvety walls and making you feel every inch of him claiming you.
Felix hated the fact that your ex had you like this when he didn't deserve to have you at all. He hated that it was your asshole ex who gave you a baby instead of him, the ultimate connection between two lovers.
But when Felix looked down at your face, the way you stared up at him like he hung the stars in the sky, little moans escaping your lips as you gripped at his arms, your tits jiggling with every movement of his hips and your cute baby bump, his heart softened.
He was going to love this baby as if it was his own.
Felix continued fucking you, making you cum three more times as you shook from overstimulation, begging him to just cum inside you.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his cock twitching at the thought.
"Well, I'm already pregnant, we're clean and it's not harmful so yes." you said as he slowed down, trying to keep himself sane.
"Fuck, you really want my cum inside you, hm?" he gripped your hips as he fucked you faster and your pussy clenched around his length.
"Yes- please!" you almost screamed out, your legs holding him in a death grip as he drilled his cock into your fucked out pussy.
"You're so cute like this. But I still wish I could breed this sweet little pussy." he groaned and you gasped.
"Felix!" you couldn't hold it in, squirting around his length as he grunted and fucked you harder.
"Fuck, you like that, huh?" he grabbed your breasts, both of you losing your minds completely.
"Ah yes, please breed me Lixie!" you begged and that was enough to push Felix over the edge as he spilled his hot seed inside you.
You dug your nails into his arms as the two of you rode your high together. Felix slowly pulled out of you, the sight of you laid out under him with his cum dripping out of your spent pussy made him grunt.
"So pretty." he ran his fingers on your folds, gathering his cum and pushing it back in.
"S-sensitive." you whimpered and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them to his lips as he licked at them.
"Wait a sec." Felix then got up as you stared at him, your entire body tingling in bliss. He came back with a warm wet cloth to clean you up, smiling at you the entire time as he kept caressing your soft skin.
"W-what now?" nervousness washed over you and Felix giggled as he tossed the cloth aside before leaning over you, his hands cupping your cheeks.
"I love you, that's what." he said, rubbing his nose against yours.
"I love you too, Lixie but... the baby, I don't wanna be a burden to you." suddenly your eyes teared up as sadness washed over you. "It's not even your responsibility to care about my baby."
He quickly shook his head, running his thumbs on your cheeks and catching your tears.
"You and your baby will never be a burden, because I love them as if they were mine. Maybe it's not my responsibility, but it's my pleasure." he said as he pressed gentle kisses on your lips.
"R-really? You wanna help me raise my baby?" your lips trembled as more tears raced down your cheeks.
"Of course, I wanna be here for you and the baby one hundred percent. I- I've always loved you, y/n. I beat myself up every day for not stepping in when your ex was basically holding you captive and abusing you."
"It's not your fault, Lix. I was dumb and naive, I was blind. He fed me sweet lies and I believed him, there was nothing you could say back then that would make me leave. I was stuck." you sat up, grabbing his hands in yours.
"I still feel like I should've protected you." he sighed.
"You're here now." you reassured him with a genuine smile and he searched your eyes for a moment before his face broke into the signature smile that reaches his eyes and warms up your soul.
"I am. And I don't plan on going anywhere." Felix leaned in to kiss you lovingly before pulling you into a hug, his hand caressing your head soothingly.
"I'm scared, Lixie." you whispered as you held onto him.
"Of what?" he asked as he kissed your temple.
"All of this. The baby, I'm almost half-way through my pregnancy and they're coming soon. I'm actually gonna be someone's mom."
"You're gonna be a wonderful mom, bubby. And you won't be doing any of it alone, I'm with you every step of the way." Felix said and the dam broke as you started crying again.
"I love you so much, Lixie." you held onto him like he was your lifeline.
"I love you more." Felix said as he kissed you and though you couldn't know exactly how he felt on the inside, you believed him.
Sitting at the doctor's office as Felix squeezed your hand, you anticipated the news you've been waiting to hear for some time now.
"Congratulations, you have a perfectly healthy baby girl." the doctor smiled at you as you gasped.
"Oh." your heart swelled, now you could start making a list of names and imagine yourself with your daughter.
"That's wonderful news! Thank you, doctor." Felix smiled as you sat there speechless, thinking about the precious life growing inside you.
"Are you okay, bubby?" Felix asked as you were silent while walking to his car.
"Just realized this is becoming more real every day. Now I can imagine myself with her, I can give her a name. I'm happy." you concluded and Felix chuckled as he caressed your cheek.
"I'm happy too." he pecked your lips. "How about we go on a date to celebrate tonight?"
"Sure, I'd love that." you nodded with a smile.
Felix and you have been officially dating for a few weeks now, and you felt so safe and relaxed with him, craving his presence more and more every day.
Of course he took you out on dates, the two of you took romantic strolls in the park, bringing some food to have a picnic there, you went to the movies and sat in the love seat, cuddling the entire time and hit the best cafés in town but you never went on a fancy date.
You had one pretty dress you were saving up for a nice occasion, it hung in the back of your closet in the guest room. You had no idea if you could even put it on now but you were willing to try.
Luckily the material was stretchy and you only filled it up more, your breasts almost spilling out of it and you chuckled to yourself, knowing Felix will definitely appreciate the sight.
"Bubby, are you ready?" you heard him yell from the living room.
"Be right there!" you yelled back, looking at your reflection one more time. You were satisfied with the way you looked, pregnancy glow was a real thing and Felix kept reminding you how beautiful everything about you is every single day, adding on to the smile on your face.
"Oh, sweetheart." Felix's eyes widened when you walked into the living room.
"Is it okay?" you asked, fidgeting with your bag.
"Okay?" he chuckled. "You're absolutely breathtaking." he came closer to you, his hands sliding on your hips to your waist and belly as he caressed it gently.
He smirked suddenly, his hands cupping your breasts.
"Lixie." you chuckled, smacking his arm with your little bag and he laughed.
"Sorry, I just wanna rub my face there." he bit on his lip. "One squeeze?" Felix pouted at you cutely, batting his long eyelashes, the little menace.
"Just one." you warned and he nodded, gripping your breasts as he leaned in to kiss you roughly, his tongue swirling around yours hungrily.
When he leaned back you were breathless.
"Let's go or we will never leave." you chuckled.
"Fine." he whined playfully as the two of you made your way out.
-
Dinner was fun, finally sharing a nice meal out with Felix felt so rewarding as the two of you reminisced of high school and college days.
You realized he was there with you the entire time, he never insulted you, never yelled at you, never made you feel less than, he always made you feel so truly happy, always thinking of your needs and preferences. You've never met a man like Felix and you were thankful to have him in your life.
You wanted to show him how thankful you were as soon as you got home, your hormones were raging lately and you were constantly horny which was fun for the both of you (maybe not for the baby).
Felix was so cute to you, always hovering over you with his adorable smile and silly antics, he was like a little kitten rubbing against you whenever he could.
That was the case as soon as you sat down on the couch, he nuzzled his face between your breasts immediately.
"Mm." he sighed happily, rubbing his cheek against you as he placed his hand on your tummy.
"Having a good time?" you chuckled, caressing his head and he nodded.
"Let me make it even better."
You grabbed his face, bringing his lips to yours as you kissed him. Felix melted into you instantly, his hands on your breasts like always as he squeezed them and played with your nipples gently.
You gripped his hair, leaning his head back as you started kissing his neck and Felix whined deeply, the sound creating vibrations against your lips.
You kept kissing him, your hands roaming on his abs as you pushed them under his shirt, before sliding your hand down and gripping his bulge.
"Y/n." Felix moaned against your lips.
You smirked, leaning back as you unbuckled his pants and slowly slid down to your knees between his legs.
Felix gasped in shock, hands flying to grab your shoulders instantly.
"What are you doing?!"
"Showing you my appreciation." you kept smirking.
"Bubby please, you don't have to do that. I don't want you to kneel if it's uncomfortable or painful."
"Felix. I'm pregnant, not made of glass." you chuckled as you palmed him and you could see him losing his resolve as he melted under your touch.
"F-fine but if it's too much, stop any time. Don't think you have to do that to appreciate me." he gave you a small smirk as he cupped your chin. "It's enough when you lay all pretty for me and let me worship you." he added and you almost moaned out loud as your pussy clenched, slick gathering on your already soaked panties.
"I know but I wanna worship you too." you said, your voice becoming raspy from arousal.
"I won't stop you." he snickered as he lifted his hips so you could strip him.
You licked your lips at the sight of his cock, hooking your arms under his thighs as you brought him closer to the edge of the couch. Felix squealed from the strength you pulled him with, his cock twitching when your breath hit the leaky tip.
You leaned in closer as you wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock, your tongue on his slit, catching the beads of precum and savoring the salty taste of him. Felix held onto the the edge of the couch, nails digging into the material as you swirled your tongue around his tip before wrapping your lips around him. He groaned, his eyes full of lust as he looked down at you and you kept your eyes on him, taking more of his length in and enjoying the feeling of his hardness on your tongue.
Felix was holding back, you saw the way he was biting on his lip, his breaths ragged as he fisted at the couch cover. You slid down more, bobbing your head up and down slowly as you reached out to grab his hand. You placed his hand on your head as you moaned around him, encouraging him to relax and enjoy.
He let out a moan as he gripped your hair, your eyes fluttering shut as you sped up on his cock, fondling his sensitive balls with your hand.
"Mm, y/n." Felix groaned and you looked up at him. His was was flushed, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, his lips swollen because he was biting on them the entire time. Your pussy clenched at the sight of him as you continued sucking on him, determinded to make him cum in your mouth.
"Oh my god, bubby!" Felix exclaimed, his hips moving up on their own accord, his legs shaking as you bobbed your head up and down faster. He pulled on your hair making you moan around him and you gripped his balls, massaging them while your tongue swiped over the vein on his pretty cock.
"I-I'm gonna cum!" he tried to pry you off but you swatted his hand away, your brows furrowed as you whined, sliding down until your nose was buried in his pubes, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat.
"Shit!" Felix twitched, groaning loudly as he spilled his hot seed down your throat and you swallowed every single drop.
You leaned back, releasing his dick with a pop and pressing a little kiss on the tip as you caressed his thighs.
"Give me a sec." he leaned back on the couch, breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut a few times in an attempt to come to his senses.
"You okay?" you giggled.
"Ruined. But perfect. Thank you for that." he sat up, grabbing your face and caressing your cheeks.
"You're amazing, you know that?" he added and you chuckled.
"I know. Now help me get up." you said and he gasped, quickly scrambling to stand up.
"Are your knees okay?" Felix panicked immediately and you smiled at him.
"They're fine, the rug is soft." you answered and he let out a breath.
"Good. Now, let's go to our room so I can return the favor." he smirked.
-
"We should buy some baby stuff soon." Felix said as he caressed you. You were lying on your side, the only comfortable position now, a pillow between your knees as Felix spooned you.
"Mhm. Maybe we could go shopping tomorrow."
"Yes. I was thinking... We can make the guest room into a baby room." he said, pressing a kiss to your neck.
You turned slightly to look at him, your heart fluttering.
"Really? You would do that?" you asked, your eyes teary instantly.
"I would do anything for you and your baby." he whispered with a sweet smile on his face.
"Our baby." you whispered back and his eyes widened for a moment before he chuckled happily.
"I love you so much, y/n." he kissed you gently.
"And I love you, baby." he added, sliding down to kiss your belly as you giggled.
"We love you too, Lixie."
Entering your third trimester, you were a mess. The mood swings were strong and you felt so emotional all of the time and that coupled with the pain in your body made you cry one afternoon while Felix was at work.
You kept thinking about him and how sweet he was to you, how much he loved you and how he always put you and your baby first. You thought about your daughter and how she will be in your arms soon, your mind spinning with negative thoughts of what could go wrong an if you'll even be able to handle this.
"I'm home!" you heard Felix come in after some time but you didn't want to move.
"Bubby?" Felix searched for you, he heard sniffles coming from your room and his heart squeezed inside his chest.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he approached you cautiously as you looked up at him all teary-eyed.
"I'm scared." you whispered and he was by your side instantly. You sat up and he wrapped his arms around you, soothing you as he caressed your hair.
"I don't know if I will be able to do this. If I'm fit to be a mom. Like what if she doesn't love me?" you whimpered and Felix looked at you, softly wiping your tears away.
"Of course she will love you, you're her mommy. And you will be the best mommy ever, I'm not just saying that because I love you, it's a fact."
"I don't deserve you." you cried harder and Felix shushed you immediately.
"Yes you do, bubby. We were made for each other. I don't even want to imagine my life without you. I've wanted this for so long, to be with you and to be able to call you mine. I've always dreamed of having a family with you and maybe this isn't the most regular way to start one but you know I love her like she is my own daughter." Felix said, his hands on your belly. "Oh, she's kicking."
"Yes, into my ribs." you said, both of you chuckling then. "You really mean all that?"
Felix smiled suddenly, sliding down to his knee and you gasped as your eyes widened.
"Lixie, what are you doing?" your heart started beating fast.
"This is not how I wanted to do it, I wanted to make it romantic with a ring and all." he started. "But, I can't wait anymore. I know we started dating only a few months ago but I've loved you since the day I laid eyes on you and maybe even before, in some other life. So, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"
Your heart skipped a beat as fresh tears slid down your cheeks.
"Oh, Lixie." you grabbed at him. "Yes, a million times yes!" you said and he laughed happily, his eyes filled with tears too.
"I love you." you said in between the sweet kisses he showered you with.
"I love you, bubby."
"I just feel bad sometimes, you're doing all this for me and I'm not even working or doing anything to help out." you said and Felix scoffed.
"Working while pregnant? Not on my watch, bubby. You need to rest and focus on our baby. I will do everything else, I enjoy it so don't worry about not helping because the only thing I need is your love. As cheesy as this sounds, it gives me wings and nothing is hard to do when I know you appreciate it." Felix pressed a kiss to your forehead.
"I'm going to cry again." you sniffled, grabbing at his shirt.
"If it's happy tears, I've done well."
-
You decided not to wait anymore and get married as soon as possible, you had no doubts whatsoever in your mind, you knew that Felix was your person just how he was sure that the two of you were soulmates. You had a small wedding with just your family and close friends, keeping it simple due to your pregnancy.
"You look beautiful today." Felix said as soon as you got home after a little celebratory dinner.
"You tell me that every day." you chuckled, plopping down on the couch, making Felix laugh at your cuteness.
He kneeled to help you take your shoes off.
"Are your feet in pain?" he asked and you nodded with a pout. "Don't worry, bubby. I'll give you a massage."
"Come here for a sec." you waved your hand and he stood up before plopping down next to you.
"What's up?" Felix looked at you, a contemplative look on your face and a small smile spreading on your lips.
"I just need a minute to process that we are married now." you said and he chuckled, his hand finding yours, fingers entwined.
"Suits you well. To be Mrs Lee Felix." he smirked, bringing your hand to his lips and pressing a kiss into your skin.
"Don't say it like that." you whined.
"Why?" he chuckled.
"Because I'm already out of my head horny for you." you looked at him. "Hubby." you smirked and he sputtered.
"Let's just go to our room." he wiggled his eyebrows, making you laugh.
"Help me up." you reached your hands towards him and he grabbed them, lifting you and leading you to your room.
Felix helped you strip before he laid you down, his eyes raking all over your body as he took you in.
"I'm gonna worship you for the rest of my life, wifey." he said as he stripped and kneeled between your legs.
"Me too." your breath hitched as soon as he put his hands on you, running them up and down your inner thighs, coaxing you to spread your legs more. His hand slid up to your core, thumb brushing against your puffy clit, making you whimper.
He slid his fingertips on your wet pussy, leaning down to kiss and lick at your nipples.
"Felix." you moaned, hands tangling in his hair, gripping him to ground yourself.
He grunted around your nipple and started sucking on it harder, slowly pushing his fingers iniside you.
"L-Lixie. Can we change the position?" you stopped him and he lifted up immediately with a smile.
"Anything to make you more comfortable, bubby."
You slowly turned on all fours, the only position that was pleasant lately and Felix ran his hands on your back.
"You okay, love?" he asked, pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder.
"Mhm." you leaned back into him, his cock brushing against your skin and twitching.
"Someone's eager." Felix smirked behind you, grabbing handfuls of your ass.
"Stop messing around, I'm horny." you whined, your pussy dripping with arousal. He never answered so you were about to turn around but then you felt the tip of his cock on your wet lips.
"Mm." you melted into the bed as he filled you up slowly.
"Like this, bubby?" Felix teased, dragging his cock inside you slowly, one hand on your hip and the other on your back.
"Harder." you said breathlessly.
"Harder, hm?" he gripped your ass, but continued moving his hips slowly.
"Please!" you cried out and he leaned over you to whisper in your ear.
"As you wish." his breath tickled and before you could gather your senses Felix gripped your hips and set a relentless pace, shaking your entire body as his hips slapped into you.
"Oh my god." you gasped, grabbing at the bedsheets while he fucked you into tomorrow.
"My sweet wife." Felix grunted, giving you a little slap on your ass and making your pussy clench.
"I'll give you another baby, you know?" he leaned in to whisper in your ear again, the tone of his voice even lower than usually.
"Ah, yes!" you groaned as he tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled.
"You want that?" his other hand grabbed at your breast, squeezing it harshly.
"Y-yes! Yes!" your mind was foggy and all you could do was agree as you came around him, your pussy gripping his cock.
"You'll be mine forever." Felix practically growled while he gripped at you, fucking you even harder as he chased his high.
"Forever. My husband." you moaned and Felix snapped, whimpering in your ear as he pushed deep inside you, filling you up with his warm cum.
He continued fucking into your slowly as he rode his orgasm, making you cum once again.
When he pulled out you laid on your side with him behind you, and he propped himself on his elbow, peering down at you.
"Are you okay?" he caressed you face as you smiled at him.
"Perfect." Felix kissed you and the two of you cuddled for some time before you decided to clean up.
"You're really thinking about another baby already?" you chuckled when you laid back in bed to sleep and Felix's face became red as he sputtered.
"W-well I want to have a family with you." he said sheepishly and you melted. "Plus, you're so cute when your pregnant." he added with a smirk and you smacked his arm.
"Shut up."
Your baby's arrival was nearing and Felix was doting on you until the end. He cooked for you, gave you massages, prepared you baths, he did everything he could to make this exhausting time as comfortable as it can be.
You had fun together, watching movies and playing videogames from the comfort of your home. Felix wanted you to be happy and feel good about yourself.
He even painted and built the baby's room together with some friends who helped him out and when it was done he proudly showed off his handiwork. You started crying immediately as you were touched and Felix was there to comfort you.
"This is wonderful, Lixie. I love you." you sobbed.
"Love you the most, bubby." he kissed your tears away, like he always did.
-
"God, I want this baby out of me. I can't do this anymore." you whined one day, close to your due date. Everything was ready, your overnight bag, the baby's room and of course Felix, who was buzzing constantly.
"You know sex can induce labor." he smirked at you while you laid on bed together and you threw a pillow at him.
"Anything to get into my panties, hm?"
"What? I just wanna love on my beautiful wife." he looked at you with a smug smile.
"Beautiful?" you scoffed. "I look like a whale."
"A very sexy and alluring whale." Felix said with a serious face and you gasped before bursting out into laughter.
"You're dumb." you nudged him with your foot and he slid closer to you.
"Dumb in love." he smirked as you rolled your eyes at him.
He grabbed your hands in his gently, staring at you adoringly.
The vibe in the room shifted as Felix started kissing your knuckles slowly, while keeping his eyes on yours the entire time.
"You were serious about fucking?" you chuckled.
"Not fucking. Making love to my wife." he smirked as he leaned up to kiss you.
"Cheesy." you chuckled against his lips.
"Only if you're okay with it. If not I will leave you alone. Might cry a little but I'll be fine." he pouted and you giggled.
"I'm okay with it. Just be quick, I wanna nap soon." you said, making Felix laugh.
It was cute, every day spent with you in a domestic setting made his heart overflow with happiness. He had fantasized about being yours for the longest time, never knowing just how happy he would be.
You were happy too, happiest you've ever been. Even though you still had doubts and fears about being a mom, everything was easier with Felix by your side. He gave you the right amount of comfort and support, he loved you more than anyone ever had before.
All the shitty things you went through, your strained relationship with your parents, your horrible ex, the sadness that existed inside you was now exchanged for a happiness you couldn't express in words.
-
Felix was sitting in your room, right in the middle of a game with his friends when you appeared on the doorstep.
"Felix." you said.
"Yeah, bubby? I'll be done in a minute." he didn't turn around, too concentrated on his screen.
"You gotta be done now. My water just broke."
With that, Felix's head snapped in your direction, his eyes widened as he scrambled to get up.
"Guys, gotta go. About to become a daddy." he quickly said into the mic before running to you.
"I'll grab your bag." he said, his voice shaking in panic as you started to feel the pain.
Felix drove to the hospital quickly, probably running over a few red lights.
"I can't do this!" you screamed as soon as you were situated in the hospital.
"Yes, you can bubby! Just hold my hand, okay? Break my fingers if you need to." Felix tried to be encouraging but you gave him a look.
"I'll break more than just your fingers." you threatened before screaming in agony.
Felix screamed with you, mostly because you were actually crushing his hand.
When it was time to push, Felix nearly fainted multiple times, especially when he leaned in to see the baby's head coming out.
"Oh my god." he squealed, the nurses giving him a look as you almost pulled his arm off by yanking him away from the sight.
"Stop looking." you groaned, not wanting him to pass out for real.
Felix concentrated on encouraging you as much as he could and before long, the nurse finally placed your daughter in your arms.
The feelings swirling within you couldn't be explained in mere words as you stared at the life you had created.
"Wow, she's beautiful. She looks just like you." Felix's eyes were wide as he stared at her, his heart swelling inside his chest.
"You wanna hold her?" you asked and Felix swallowed before nodding a little.
"She's so tiny, I'm afraid I'll break her." he gasped when he took her in his arms.
"You won't." you smiled at the sight, Felix holding your daughter and looking at her with so much adoration in his eyes.
You couldn't wait to go home and start your new life, just the three of you, your own little family.
-
The adjusment was hard at first, everything felt surreal and the time was going by too quickly. Your daughter was already almost 5 months old and you were wondering how the hell did all that time pass.
Felix was the most helpful husband you could ask for, everything he promised he'd do weren't just empty words and you were eternally grateful to have him.
One afternoon as you put your daughter into her crib for a nap, a knock came on the door.
Felix was in the living room and he stood up to open it just as you walked in. Both you and Felix were shocked to see your ex boyfriend standing there. You weren't expecting to see him ever again, an uneasy feeling spreading all over your body as your feet got stuck in the floor.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Felix was fuming immediately.
"I- I realized I was wrong. I want to have a family with you, y/n. I've been miserable since you left." he craned his neck trying to look at you but Felix stepped in, standing straight in front of your ex.
"It's a little late for that, buddy." Felix showed the guy his wedding ring with a smirk on his face and your ex gasped.
"You got married? To him?" he scoffed suddenly.
"I suggest you leave now." Felix ignored him as you stood there, still unsure of what to do or say.
"What a slut you are." your ex smirked and Felix snapped, quickly manhandling the bastard down to his knees as he twisted his arm back and placed his foot on your ex's back.
He yelped as you gasped, never seeing Felix this mad.
"Don't talk about her like that, scum. You never deserved her. If I ever see you anywhere near my wife or my baby I will fucking kill you." Felix growled, pressing his foot harder into his back.
"Do you understand?" he pulled on his arm, almost popping it out of place as your ex moaned in pain.
"I understand." he said through gritted teeth.
"Do you really?"
"Felix, it's okay." you intervened, not wanting him to go too far.
"I understand, alright!" your ex yelled annoyingly and Felix finally let him go as he scrambled to get up.
"Fuck the both of you." he spat before leaving and Felix watched him drive away before he turned to you, his expression softening.
"You okay?" he asked after closing and locking the door.
"God, that was so hot." you threw your arms around his neck and Felix's eyes widened as he chuckled.
"Really?" he asked and you let out a laugh as he circled his arms around you, pulling you closer to his body.
"Mhm. My sexy husband." you wiggled your eyebrows as he blushed.
"Does the sexy husband get a reward from his beautiful wife?" he smirked.
"Why of course." you chuckled, leading him to your room.
"Are you sure? We haven't since- you know. I don't wanna hurt you." Felix shook his head quickly.
"I know you'll be gentle." you said, caressing his face and tracing his pretty freckles with your fingertips.
Felix smiled softly at you, leaning in to kiss you sweetly.
"We have only while she naps though." you said as the both of your started stripping.
"Okay quick but gentle." Felix nodded, making you laugh.
You were about to strip completely, when you stopped, biting on your lip.
"What's wrong?" your husband came up to you, his hands running up and down soothingly on your arms.
"My body is completely changed. And well, it could get messy."
"I like messy." Felix smirked and you shook your head with a smile. "You have no reason to be insecure with me. I love you even more than I did before. I admire you so much, you're my everything y/n. And you'll always be sexy to me."
"Felix." your lips trembled as your eyes filled with tears but he was quick to kiss them away. "I love you so much." you breathed out between kisses as his hands traveled under your shirt before he pulled it off.
The way he looked at you erased any insecurity in your mind, Felix was mesmerized, his eyes full of love and lust.
"Lay down for me." he said quietly and you smirked.
"No, I wanna be on top."
"Oh." Felix's cock twitched, straining against his boxers painfully. "Whatever you want, bubby." he licked his lips, no thoughts behind his eyes whatsoever as he kept staring at your full tits.
You pushed him down on the bed, stripping him out of his underwear so you could have all of him on display for you to play with.
You crashed your lips into his before kissing his jaw and his neck, your lips traveling on his skin, touching every precious freckle. Your nipples kept brushing against him and Felix whined, pushing his cock up towards you.
His hand flew to the back of your neck as he brought your face to his, kissing you again.
"Ah!" he groaned when your fingers wrapped around his length, giving him a few pumps as you observed his face, twisted in pleasure.
You hovered over him and he gasped.
"You're so good to me, bubby. I'm so lucky to have you." he whimpered as you ran his tip on your wet cunt.
"I'm the one who's lucky. I get to use this cock whenever I want." you smirked as you pushed the tip between your folds.
"Oh my god." Felix groaned, pushing up towards your heat. "Yes, yes, use me whenever you want!"
You slowly slid down on him and sat still, adjusting to the feeling of him inside you after some time. Felix kept staring at your tits and you smirked.
"You want these?" you grabbed them gently, jiggling them a little and you felt him twitch inside you.
"P-please. Can I- can I taste it?" he gave you his puppy eyes and you clenched at the thought.
"You wanna taste my milk?" you asked and Felix panicked.
"N-no, I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that! I'm sorry if that's weird, you totally don't have to." he sat up a little, his cock brushing against your sweet spot.
"I want you to." you said and he stared at you, his eyes wide.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Come on. Wrap your lips around it." you leaned over him, your breasts in his face and he whined as you dripped around his cock, slowly moving your hips in circles.
"Y/n." Felix moaned before giving your nipple a few kitten licks then wrapping his lips around it.
You gasped as he started sucking greedily, the taste of your sweet milk making him become rock hard inside you. Felix moaned as he swallowed, grabbing at your breast and squeezing it.
"L-Lixie!" you moaned loudly as he flipped you over, fucking into you, his hands on your breasts and lips around your nipple, drinking from you.
He couldn't get enough, fucking you with a semi-fast pace as he kept sucking on your tits. You felt so aroused, your body sensitive and you came, squirting around his cock.
"Fuck, bubby!" Felix licked at his lips, his eyes rolling back as he pulled out, jerking his cock until he came, ropes of white cum landing on your tummy and chest. You pouted at him, grabbing at his arm.
"Why didn't you finish inside?"
"I had to pull out or I'd get you pregnant again." he groaned and you giggled, biting on your lip.
"So what?"
"Baby, don't tempt me." Felix whined and you chuckled. "You should take some time to heal."
"I love that you're so caring but sometimes I wish you were just a little bit inconsiderate." you teased as he brought you into his chest, cuddling with you.
Felix laughed, the sound shaking your body as he held you close.
"Okay, I'll be a bad boy next time and forget to pull out." he smirked.
"Mhm." you smirked back and leaned in to kiss just as your daughter started crying.
"She's awake and hungry." you sat up and Felix kissed your shoulder before leaning his chin on it.
"I might be hungry for something sweet later too." he smirked and you smacked him as he laughed.
"I'm sure you will be."
-
Fall came around and with it all of the pretty colors had painted the leaves, it was your and Felix's favorite sight to see so you decided to go on a little stroll to the park with your daughter.
Felix pushed the stroller as you held onto his arm, taking in the scenery around you and the fresh air smelling of rain about to fall.
"What are you thinking about?" Felix asked.
"You. How happy we are." you smiled as you looked at him.
"I'm so happy." he smiled back sweetly and your daughter fussed a little.
"She's growing so quickly." you sighed wistfully and Felix nodded.
"She is. We can always make another baby." he added and you chuckled.
"I'd love that."
Later that afternoon, the rain poured outside as you sat under a warm cozy blanket with your loving husband and your sweet daughter, safe from any harm. You couldn't imagine a better life than this.
And it was all thanks to Felix loving you and making you love yourself again as the scars on your heart healed one by one.
~taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @schniti-is-in-the-house @eastjonowhere @sona1800 @channiesrightasscheek @justwonder113 @yvettemint @inaribu00 @httpdwaekki @possum-playground @ria-april @yn-x-them @mariahxrrera @halfwinterhalfuniverse
#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#stray kids#skz smut#skz x reader#lee felix smut#lee felix x reader#skz fluff#skz imagines#skz scenarios#stray kids fluff#lee felix scenarios#lee felix imagine#lee felix imagines#lee felix fluff#lee felix x y/n#lee felix x you#lee felix#skz felix x reader#skz felix smut#skz felix fluff#skz soft thoughts#skz soft hours#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours#lee felix hard thoughts#lee felix hard hours#skz felix
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"what’s your name again?" | JEON JUNGKOOK [FOLLOWERS POLL’s CHOICE]
one shot
> summary: jungkook met you at a costume party for the new year eve. you're bold, drunk and horny.
> pairing: jungkook x reader
> genre: small smut, one shot (shorter than i thought tho)
> warnings: smut, protected sex!!, public quickie in the female restroom (i'm not good with warning)
> word count: 2.8k
*french writer, i apologize in advance for my awful english!
Jungkook never likes masked parties. But when Hoseok suggests going to one where everyone is in costumes, he reluctantly agrees. He has nothing better to do for New Year’s Eve anyway, and it seems better than drinking alone in his apartment. He sighs as someone bumps into him—that’s why he avoids crowded places.
Everyone wears costumes as if it’s Halloween. He’s not surprised to see most of the women in tight, short dresses. Jungkook considered dressing as a character from Squid Game but decided against it—there are already too many of them here.
Instead, he throws on his old Spider-Man costume from Halloween three years ago. It’s been gathering dust in his closet, but it saves him time and money. To account for the cold, he adds gray joggers and an old black sweatshirt. Tonight, he’s not Peter Parker but Miles Morales. He doubts anyone will notice the reference, though.
“Damn, I didn’t expect it to be this crowded,” Jimin says, handing beers to his friends.
Jungkook glances around and nods. It’s New Year’s Eve, so of course, people their age are out celebrating.
“It’s been a shitty year,” Taehyung groans, downing his beer in one gulp before heading to the bar for something stronger. His girlfriend dumped him last month, and he’s still obsessively checking her Instagram, where she flaunts her new boyfriend.
Jungkook shakes his head, amused. It was a rough year. His grandfather was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, none of his romantic flings went anywhere, and the company he worked for went bankrupt. Now, he’s living with his parents –again- and working a terrible job under an abusive boss. He sighs and takes a sip of his beer.
“At least we’re still standing,” Hoseok says, ever the optimist.
As the night goes on, the four friends drink steadily in their corner of the nightclub. Taehyung ends up crying on Hoseok’s shoulder, while Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“I don’t understand,” Taehyung whines. “I’m a good boyfriend! I used to bring her flowers all the time and give her all the attention she wants.”
“She’s a bitch. You’re a good guy,” Jungkook says, leaning closer so Taehyung can hear him over the music. “Stop wasting your tears on someone like her.”
“Maybe I’m bad in bed?”
“Stop it,” Jimin groans, grabbing Taehyung’s shoulder. “With your third leg, it’s definitely not about sex. Some women are just terrible people. Go find someone new tonight.”
“What?” Taehyung sniffles, while Jungkook silently gestures for Jimin to stop talking.
“Yeah, Tae,” Hoseok chimes in. “Find a girl, have some fun, and forget about her.”
Jungkook buries his face in his hands. Taehyung is too drunk for this advice. He’s not a one-night-stand type of guy and will probably end up vomiting on whoever he approaches.
“I need a smoke,” Jungkook mutters, getting up and wiping his hands on his joggers. He weaves through the crowd toward the exit, hating how packed the nightclub is.
“I’m sorry!” a voice gasps as their bodies collide. Jungkook instinctively grabs the stranger’s arm to steady them. Both of them are clearly tipsy, but they look more unsteady than he does.
His gaze falls on the person in front of him—his very own Gwen Stacy. The mask hides all of their face, but the costume piques his interest immediately.
“It’s my fault,” You begin. “I didn’t—” You stop mid-sentence when you look up at him. “Oh, Miles Morales!” You giggle, recognizing his costume. And your laugh makes him smile.
“Hi, Gwen,” Jungkook smirks, the alcohol making him bolder.
“Hi,” you reply as you both step outside into the chilly air. It’s a welcome relief from the stifling crowd inside. Jungkook pulls out a cigarette and lighter.
“I like your costume,” he says, noticing you scanning the crowd inside, probably looking for your friends.
You remove your mask and smile. Jungkook doesn’t expect you to be this attractive—especially the kind of attractive he’s drawn to.
“Thanks. I like yours, even if it’s a little inaccurate,” you tease, making him chuckle.
You pull out your own cigarette, accepting his lighter with a nod of thanks.
“It’s too cold to be Spider-Man.”
“Well, not Tom Holland’s Spider-Man,” you quip, freeing your hair from the costume.
Jungkook’s eyes linger on you briefly before smirking. “Marvel fan?” he asks.
“Hm, you?”
“Hm.”
You’re pretty and a Marvel fan? Jungkook looks up at the dark sky, silently thanking the universe for this coincidence. Before he can come up with something to say, you speak again.
“I almost dressed as Wednesday Addams, but it’s way too cold for that,” you explain, and he nods.
“Wednesday was my first choice, too,” Jungkook jokes, making you laugh.
“I’m Y/N,” you say.
“Jungkook,” he replies.
“Did you come alone, Spiderman?” you ask, and Jungkook shakes his head.
“I came with some friends.”
“Yeah, me too. It was either this or sleeping early. I figured it’d be more fun to get drunk,” you say, tossing the bud of your cigarette. Jungkook licks his lips with a smile. He guesses you’re a yapper, which is a good thing because he’s not drunk enough to talk freely without embarrassment. “Do you drink tequila shots, Spiderman?”
“Are you offering?” he teases, and you nod. “Alright.”
Even though he asks, once you’re at the bar ordering a round of six tequila shots, Jungkook is the one handing over his credit card to the bartender. You scold him, insisting you’ll pay for the next round. He’s just happy that you’re thinking about continuing the night with him, though he’s a little apprehensive about drinking more.
“Alright, on three,” you say with a smile, counting down before you both toss back the first shot and bite into a lemon. “Where are your friends?”
“Somewhere in the club,” Jungkook replies, his head nodding to the rhythm of the music.
You grab his hand and guide him to the dancefloor. Jungkook marvels at how easygoing you are. Most girls he meets play hard to get, but you’re different—just here, vibing with everyone around you. His smile widens as he watches you mimicking the dance steps of a guy dressed as a banana.
You burst into laughter when you mess up the choreography, and the banana-guy spins you back toward Jungkook, probably assuming the two of you came together. You stumble into his arms, your rosy cheeks and bright giggles captivating him even though he can barely hear it over the music.
After the fourth shot, Jungkook has to stop, reaching his limit. He isn’t used to drinking this much, especially tequila. But he chuckles, watching as you confidently take down two more. When you turn to him, he shakes his head in disbelief.
“Already?” you tease, giggling, and he rolls his eyes, amused. You finish the remaining shots by yourself, and he’s genuinely impressed. How can someone as small as you handle so much alcohol?
Jungkook blinks a few times, shaking his head. He’s almost certain you’re going to regret this if you keep bouncing around to the music like that.
“Are you drunk?” you ask, leaning closer, and he nods, patting his chest to settle the burn in his throat.
He grabs a bottle of water he ordered, takes a sip, and offers it to you. But you shake your head, and Jungkook can’t help but feel a strange responsibility to make sure you’re okay. You’ve only just met, but he’s already trying to sober you up a bit—anything to avoid you ending the night sick.
“Do you drink often?” Jungkook asks, grimacing as he takes another sip of water. He’s already done with tequila—probably for life.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you chuckle, your tone playful as you make him smile and shrug.
“Just that you definitely know how to hold your liquor.”
“I just needed to get drunk and forget this year,” you admit, tossing your hair over your shoulder.
“Do you want me to walk you to your friends?” Jungkook offers, his voice laced with concern.
“Are you tired of me, Spider-Man?” you joke, swaying slightly as you both half-dance to the pulsing music.
“W-What? No!” Jungkook stammers, looking adorably flustered, and you laugh at his reaction.
“I’m kidding,” you say, nudging his shoulder with a grin.
“Can… I have your number? Or maybe your social media?” he asks, leaning closer to your ear to make himself heard over the music. You pull back to meet his gaze, your hands resting lightly on his shoulders for balance. Both of you have hooded eyes, softened by the alcohol and dim lights.
Jungkook feels a rush of admiration for your boldness. You don’t care about the people around you or their opinions. His hand hesitates before resting on the small of your back. You tilt your head, your nose brushing his as your lips hover dangerously close.
“Do you want to have fun?” you murmur, your mouth brushing his ear, the music muffling everything else.
“What kind of fun?” he asks, his breath caressing your cheek. He feels himself leaning into the moment, emboldened by your energy. Why not? There’s nothing wrong with a little flirting with a stranger on New Year’s Eve.
You smirk slowly, your hand slipping into his to guide him off the dancefloor. Jungkook frowns slightly in confusion when you lead him into the women’s restroom. Before he can ask why, you cup his face, pulling him into a kiss that sends his heart racing.
He finds it thrilling—kissing someone he just met, in a place he’d never expect. It’s not the kind of fun he was imagining, but he’s definitely not complaining. You guide him blindly into one of the stalls, closing the door behind you as he presses you against it.
“What if someone catches us?” he whispers, his lips trailing along your jaw.
“We can stop if you want,” you reply, threading your fingers into his hair before pulling him into another heated kiss.
“No,” he says honestly, making you smile. “But we’re drunk.”
“Can’t get hard when you’re drunk?” you tease, your lips brushing the column of his neck. Jungkook chuckles darkly, grabbing your hand and guiding it to his joggers. Your eyes light up as you feel his growing arousal beneath the fabric.
Jungkook’s breath hitches as your hand starts to stroke him above his jogger. His mind races—this is new for him. He’s had his share of casual flings, but never with a stranger and never in public. Surprisingly, the thrill of possibly being caught makes the moment even more exhilarating.
He wonders if you’ve done this before—you seem so at ease. But before he can ask, your hand slides under the waistband of his joggers, palming his growing bulge. His eyes close almost instantly, a soft groan escaping him as your touch sends heat coursing through his body. His own hands find your backside, squeezing gently, grounding himself in the moment.
“Do you want to fuck me?” you whisper, nipping lightly at the sensitive skin of his neck.
“What—I—right now?” he stammers, wide-eyed, and you nod. Pressing your back against the door, you reach behind to unzip the bottom of your costume, your movements deliberate and teasing. Jungkook’s gaze remains locked on you, his mind racing.
His eyes widen further as he begins patting the pockets of his joggers in a frantic search for his wallet. He knows there’s a condom in there—he’s certain he hasn’t used it. A chance like this? No way he’s letting it slip by. He’s just a guy, after all, and if a beautiful woman wants him, Jungkook isn’t about to say no.
“What are you doing?” you ask, laughing as his wallet slips from his fumbling hands. He scrambles to catch it, earning another amused giggle from you.
When he finally retrieves the little plastic wrapper, he holds it up proudly. You smirk, pulling him into a heated kiss while he helps you peel off the bottom half of your costume. The black panties underneath match the dark tights perfectly, a sight that makes Jungkook’s breath hitch. His hands twitch at his sides, trying to maintain control.
“I’ve never done this before,” he admits softly, hiking your leg up to wrap around his waist, pressing you against him.
“Yeah, me neither,” you reply with a playful giggle, one hand gripping his shoulder for balance while the other threads through his messy hair. “New year, new experiences, right?”
“You’re really something else,” he chuckles, his tone equal parts admiration and disbelief. His eyes meet yours, silently asking for permission. You nod, and his hand slides between your thighs, fingertips brushing against you through the thin fabric of your panties.
“Fuck,” you whisper, your head falling back against the door as your hips instinctively press into his touch. Your reaction sends a shiver down his spine; he swears he’s never heard anyone curse so beautifully.
Jungkook frees himself from his boxers, giving his cock a few slow strokes while watching your every reaction. His gaze flickers between your face and the way your body trembles under his hand. When he pushes your panties aside, he hesitates momentarily to open the condom.
“Tell me to stop,” he says suddenly, his voice wavering as he tries to cling to the last shred of his rationality.
“Don’t you dare,” you reply with a grin, tugging at his boxers to free him completely. He groans, any semblance of self-control slipping away as he feels your hand stroke him again, this time skin-on-skin.
The muffled music from the club outside only adds to the surrealness of the moment. Every so often, someone walks into the restroom, and Jungkook tenses, half-expecting a knock on the door. But the thrill of being caught only seems to heighten his excitement. When you grab his face to focus him on you, your lips brushing against his, he realizes he’s long past the point of no return.
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath as he rolls the condom over his length. His other hand pushes his joggers just low enough to give him room to move. “Are you sure?” he asks one last time, his voice trembling with need.
“Yes,” you answer without hesitation, guiding him to your entrance. His fingers dig into your hips as he presses forward slowly, the stretch eliciting soft gasps from both of you. He stills for a moment, his forehead resting against yours as he adjusts to the overwhelming sensation.
“God, you’re so tight,” he whispers, his voice rough with desire.
“Please, move,” you urge him in a whine, your nails digging into his shoulders. He doesn’t need to be told twice. His hips pull back before snapping forward, setting a steady rhythm that has you biting your lip to keep from moaning too loudly.
Jungkook’s movements grow more erratic as he loses himself in the sensation of you. The cramped space of the stall, the muffled music, and the ever-present risk of being caught only add to the intensity. His hands roam your body, gripping your thighs and waist as he thrusts into you with increasing urgency.
“You feel so good,” he groans, his voice a low rumble in your ear.
“Faster,” you gasp, your hands sliding down to grab his ass and urge him deeper. He obliges, his pace quickening until the sound of your bodies colliding fills the small space. “Fuck –“
You bite down on his shoulder to muffle your moans, and he curses under his breath, the combination of your teeth and the tight grip of your walls pushing him closer to the edge.
“I’m close,” he whispers, his breath hot against your neck. His thrusts grow rougher, the door rattling slightly with each movement.
“Me too,” you manage to reply, your voice shaky as the tension in your body builds. His thumb finds your clit, circling it with just enough pressure to send you spiraling over the edge. Your walls tighten around him as you climax, your muffled cries vibrating against his skin.
“Fuck,” Jungkook groans, his hips stuttering as he follows you, spilling into the condom with a final deep thrust. He collapses against you, his chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath. The countdown outside ends in cheers and shouts of celebration, but neither of you notices, still lost in the aftershocks of your high.
For a moment, the two of you stay like that, tangled together in the aftermath. Then Jungkook pulls back slightly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The sounds of celebration seep back in as you both begin to steady your breathing.
“That was…” he trails off, unable to find the right words. “Hot.”
You smirk, cupping his face to leave a lingering kiss on his swollen lips.
“Happy New Year,” you whisper, your voice soft but playful.
“Happy New Year,” he replies, his hand snaking behind your neck to pull you into another kiss, this one just as passionate as the last. Jungkook knows he has to go back to his friends soon.
“What’s your name again?” you laugh, your breath mingling with his as he chuckles.
“Jungkook. Yours?”
“Y/N.”
hiiii!! first of all, happy new year to you all. may 2025 be a better year for you. secondly, i know, I KNOW, i'm a little late with the one shot i promised, i'm sorry! i was too busy those last few days. to be honest, the one shot didn't result as i was hoping for. I had a few ideas about it and it doesn't look like... what i expected. but i promise you a jk one shot for the new year so here it is. i'll do better next time, i swear!! but i do hope that you enjoyed reading it <3 I'll see you around, and on that, i'm going back to write the DOU chapter 6 now that i have free time!! luv y’all — Riza
#bts fanfic#bts jungkook#bts#bts fic#jungkook x reader#solarhys#jeon jungkook#bangtan#jungkook fanfic#smut#jungkook bts#jungkook smut#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#jungkook fluff#jungkook one shot#jungkook oneshot#new year 2025
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A string of emojis. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ is a perfectly valid comment!
HMHHKJJFGJD THIS IS AMAZING/INCREDIBLE/WHATEVER NICE WORDS YOU HAVE TO SAY
"AO3 wont let me leave more kudos so here are more: ❤️❤️❤️❤️"
(incoherent excited screaming)
Pick the part of the story that made you feel the strongest emotions. Let them know how absolutely adorable it was to see the characters holding hands, or how you nearly burst into tears on public transport while reading their fic and are thankful for it
"Reread!" comments! Let them know this is the second, third, fourth, or millionth time you've come back to reread their fic! It brings an extra level of joy to authors to know that their fics are worth reading not once, but twice, or even more!
Quote a favorite line and tell them how it made you laugh/cry/stare at your screen in awe and then reread the same line three times on account of its brilliance.
Literally any other compliment you can think of
Any combination of or all of the above!
So yes. Smash your face into the keyboard, highlight a favorite moment, or tell them it's 4 am in your timezone but you absolutely could not stop reading because it was so good. It means the world to hear positive feedback from readers, and it's encouragement for authors to share more works in the future!
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ᴅᴀʀᴋ ꜱʏɴᴀꜱᴛʀʏ ᴏʙꜱᴇʀᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ
you can join my astrology discord server :)
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not all observations will be dark, others will be sexual.
no copying! depends on how this post goes but i might do composite soon.
♱ 8h overlay is not the only overlay where people express their freaks, the 12h overlay can do that as well, hidden desires and kinks that they might be ashamed to express to other people.
♱ saturn aspecting lilith in synastry can be very, very intense. especially if its square or conjunct. the lilith person would expose the saturn person to liberties and freedom they havent experienced before, but sometimes the saturn person can be uncomfortable with how free the lilith person is and could even up wanting to restrict them.
♱ it was said before that venus can be the wife in love triangle situations, and lilith is the mistress. if the lilith aspects the sun which is usually the man, it can be really hard for the man/or the dominant partner to dismiss the attempts of the lilith woman.
♱ following up with lilith. lilith in a person's chart is what can make someone interested in the side person/the mistress. so someone with lilith in gemini in their chart shows that they would be into the other party who stimulates their mind, someone who can make them laugh and since its lilith, say dirty things to them. it could also make them very attracted to gemini placements.
♱ 5h synastry shows that the couple could love to have sex with each other, they could party with each other a lot. this could bring great joy with each other. but if it's not backed up with saturn aspects, the connection likely wont last for long.
♱ i've noted that a lot of virgo placements [including having chart ruler in jupiter] had a lot of stalkers, people constantly checking on them, its worse when there's neptunian/plutonic influence in their chart.
♱ 8h mars synastry would have someone so possessive over you, it'll be hard for them to get over you, and they would want to protect you all the time and sometimes treat you like you cannot do things yourself.
♱ dont get me started on pluto conjunct lilith. the epitome of an affair. if it conjuncts, the two of them will always find way to have each other, and have sex. but if there's no sex then its intense sexual frustration.
♱ lilith in the 2h synastry might cause lilith person to think they're entitled to know everything about you, another stalker indicator.
♱ sun in the 10h synastry...usually the sun person could be obsessed with being seen with the 10h person. it might cause them to see the house person as an object, or a ladder to use to climb up the social ladder.
♱ uranus in the 8h synastry is another obsessive sex indicator, they would want to have sex everywhere, and they could be into being watched by others.
♱ chiron in the 12h is you'll never get rid of me synastry. chiron could hate it if house person moves on, the type to stalk the person's new potential partners.
♱ lilith conjunct pluto is a very haunting aspect. like haunting from beyonce type of connection, thinking about each other all the time, and if broken up with each other they could go behind their lovers back and rekindle something again.
♱ 3h lilith synastry shows that lilith person could have very lewd thoughts about house person, and house person could be willing to play into lilith person's fantasy.
♱ saturn in 8h/12h synastry can speak of constant stalking each other. both people yearning each other sexually and spiritually, could get intense because either one could be bold enough to come between connections and break them.
♱ in most synastry charts i've looked at that involved cheating with each other, neptune 7h played a big part.
♱ pluto aspect sun...conjunct specifically? the sun would be obsessed! obsessed. and its worse if the person's sun aspects its own pluto as well. the sun person would pop up everywhere, always watching, taking note on who's their friend, if their instagram following or followers went up or not.
♱ moon in 6h synastry can make moon person very dependent on the house person's presence and energy, is another indicator of obsession.
♱ 11h moon synastry would have the house person want to involve themselves in moon person's life, like joe goldberg.
♱ north node conjunct venus? north node person might not be able to handle rejection from venus person, like at all. could get very reckless and intimidating.
♱ plus saturn 12h/8h synastry is an indicator of brat-taming kink.
♱ though 12h saturn synastry can speak of very intense breakups, like thinking about it forever.
♱ chiron conjunct chiron, feeling like you need each other all the time, only seeing, feeling and hearing them, could fall co-dependent on each other, but can also be each other's relationship/emotional injuries.
♱ mars opposition/square someone's mars/venus a game of cat and mouse, non stop, they would be too bold, could make advantages in public, the type to want to fuck them in places they'd get caught. very shameless synastry overlay. this is another synastry i saw where mars really wants to breed mars.
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#astrology#sagittarius#scorpio#aquarius#virgo#gemini#libra#aries#astro observations#astrology observations#astro notes#astrology notes#zodiac#zodiac observations#girlfriend#boyfriend#synastry#synastry astrology#dark synastry#love compatibility#compatibility#venus#mars#pluto#astrology community#astro community#love reading#law of attraction
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Emmy listen- I got a great idea but I need your beautiful mind for it. Feel free to just ignore me buut like what if for a daddy Chan idea where he accidentally yells at reader and they leave? Like a nice angst -> comfort. Ugh. I just know you’re so good with this series and I just love it and you but like you more lol. Annnywaaays I’m rambling have a good day lol
do you think beary will forgive me?
pairing: daddy!chan x princess!reader
genre: angst with a happy ending
word count: 2 ss and ~2.3k
warnings: very very brief mentions of dying (not real dying, it’s in reference to a tv show lol), yelling, lots of crying, pet names.
an: saturn, i hope this is what you were looking for. i hope i did it justice. it’s still crazy to me that one of my faves thought that i would be the best person to write their idea. anyway, this is absolutely devastating. so enjoy. lol i’m shy but i’ll try to reach out to you more, i’d like for us to be better friends. :)
masterlist
!! my requests are now closed until i’m caught up !! :)
the tv blared loudly as your newest drama obsession reached its peak, the main character sick in a hospital bed while the love of her life cries and begs her to pull through.
“if she dies, i’m going to freak out.” you say out loud. to no one in particular, as the apartment was empty. you glanced at your phone for the time. you got excited. daddy should be home any minute. your attention was pulled back to the screen as the main character wakes up from her coma. “oh thank god.” you say to yourself, clutching your blanket tightly, sinking further into the couch cushions.
you don’t hear the door lock beeping or the mechanical whirring of the mechanism as it unlocks and clicks open. a weary chan stumbles inside, kicking off his shoes. if you weren’t so entranced by your show, you would notice how tense he is. how his shoulders and neck look stiff with exhaustion, his brow furrowed with agitation.
he drags his feet through the house until he finds you in the living room. you see his frame in the doorway and jump up from the couch, running to him. “daddy!” you exclaim. you throw your arms around his neck, clinging to his body. he reluctantly wraps his arms around you, squeezing gently. it lasts only a second before he pulls away.
“do you have to have the tv that loud?” he scolds. your smile drops and you feel embarrassed. you felt stupid for having the volume up that loud. you race back to the couch, flinging the blanket to the side in search of the remote. after a moment, you find it and quickly shut the tv off, plunging the room into silence. you turn back around, but you’re alone again. there’s no longer a daddy in the room. you huff a disappointed sound and shuffle your slippered feet across the floor in search of him.
you ultimately find him in the bathroom, pulling his shirt off over his head. while his face is covered, you rush up behind him, wrapping your arms around his middle. you’ve done this so many times and he always loves it. always tells you how cute you are and how much he loves you. but… not today.
he discards his shirt on the floor before pulling your hands free of his waist and gently pushing you away. he makes eye contact with you in the mirror before saying “i need to take a shower.”
“oh.. okay.” you say. you force a smile to your face, determined to put him in a better mood. he must have had a very long day. he looks away before even noticing your smile, turning to switch the shower on. he kicks his shorts off and steps inside, without saying another word.
you were shocked. and also, kind of sad. he didn’t even seem excited to see you at all. you didn’t get any hugs, or any kisses, not even a head pat. you wondered if you did something wrong, wondered if you were just being dramatic or being too needy. maybe he finally got tired of you like you always feared. tears pricked your eyes. you forced them away, shaking your head.
no. you would not cry. you are a big girl.
unsure of what to do, and missing him terribly, you sat on the floor of the bathroom, waiting for him to be done. sometimes you would talk to him while he was showering, asking him about his day. but you felt like that wasn’t the best move right now. so you sat silently, patiently, playing with the loose strings on the bathmat. finally the water shut off and a muscular hand reached out in blind search of a towel. he found one and you could hear him drying himself, before he flung the curtain open to find you sitting on the floor. you smiled up at him, just excited to be near him, happy that he was finally home.
“what are you doing?” he asked, deadpan.
you didn’t like his tone. it was cold and very un daddy like.
“i was.. waiting for you to be done.” you said, your smile faltering a little.
he sighed. “i can’t even get a minute alone in the fucking shower?”
you felt like you had been slapped. “wh-what?”
he stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, and walked right past you and into the bedroom.
the tears were back at your waterline, threatening to spill. you carefully stood up on shaky legs and walked to the bedroom. you peeked your head around the door frame and saw him pulling a pair of boxers on, hair dripping onto his bare shoulders.
you wanted to say something, but he said he wanted to be alone? you didn’t want to bother him. but he never talked like that. if he ever needed alone time, he would sweetly tell you that before setting you up a movie or activity to do while he spent some time with himself. you couldn’t remember a time when he had ever cursed at you. your mind again wondered if you had done something wrong. something to upset him. he noticed you standing silently in the doorway.
“damn it, y/n!” he yelled. “i said i want to be left alone. what the fuck don’t you understand!?” he stomped toward the door, toward you, his face scrunched up in anger. you had never seen that face on him before. he had never talked to you this way and it really scared you. he grabbed the door and slammed it shut in your face. you stumbled and fell backwards onto the floor, landing on your butt and scraping your palm in the process of trying to catch yourself.
you silently cried on the floor for a moment. your heart raced with fear, with hurt. your palm stung. you wiped your tears and shakily walked to the living room. you grabbed your phone and walked out the front door, not a destination in mind, cow slippers still on your feet.
you stared at the door handle to your apartment. you had been hiding in the cold emergency stairwell of your apartment building, unsure of where to go. you reached your hand out. you wanted to go inside. wanted to feel the safety of the four walls and locking door. you even wanted for chan to hold you. for him to tell you that everything was alright. that you were safe now. but how could he make you feel safe, when he was the one who scared you in the first place? your stomach was in knots. would he yell again? he promised he wouldn’t.. would he be mad at you? mad that you couldn’t give him space, mad that you left without telling him where you were going? your hand shook as you reached for the handle. you took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
chan was sat on the edge of the couch, his phone clutched in one fist, his other hand was at his mouth, nervously biting on his thumb nail. when he heard the door to the apartment open, he stood up abruptly, his phone clattering to the floor. he took a step in your direction. you noticed him, and the fear in your eyes broke his heart. the door clicked shut behind you quietly. you stood in the entryway, not making a move further into the apartment. he took another step toward you, fighting the urge to run to you and scoop you up in his arms. but you flinched, and took a step back. your eyes were wide with fear and hurt and he didn’t know what to do to make it better. for once in your relationship, daddy didn’t know how to fix it.
he sank to his knees in the middle of the living room, head hung low. you were confused at first. and then your confusion turned to worry, all your fears melting away. you slowly approached him, stopping a few feet away. his shoulders shook.
“daddy..?” you said, your voice soft.
he looked up at you, tears in his eyes, his face scrunched up in pain as he fought the urge to sob like a baby.
you had only ever seen him cry once, when he watched a particularly sad movie with you, but this was completely different. this was devastation in his eyes. you knelt in front of him. now face to face, you reached out and wiped his tears off his cheeks with the pads of your fingers.
“daddy don’t cry..”
his eyes locked on your palm, the scrape clearly visible as you collected his tears. he looked back to you, before gently reaching for your hand. he held it in his, palm up, examining the damage.
“baby what happened?” he asked, his voice thick with tears.
“i.. fell.” you say. “when you slammed the door.. i fell.”
his face contorted in pain again and his head fell forward. his tears splashed onto your palm and onto the floor.
“baby.. i’m so sorry.” he sobbed. he messily kissed your injured palm.
“it’s okay..” you comforted him.
he shook his head. “it’s not okay.” he looked up at you, gently squeezing your hand, careful of the scrape. “daddy is supposed to protect you. but i.. i caused this.” his eyes looked to the ceiling as he tried to stop his tears from flowing.
“did.. i do something?” you asked, your own tears coming to the surface again. “to make you mad?”
his free hand came to your cheek, stroking gently. “no, baby. of course not. you were just excited to see me and i yelled at you. what kind of daddy does that?”
“why did you yell then?” you asked.
“it’s been such a long day.. it seemed like everyone needed something from me.” he sniffled. “i just wanted to be alone. and away from everyone. and then when i got home and you were right there, i just.. i lost it.” he looked into your eyes, the glassy surface mirroring yours. “i am so so sorry. i can’t imagine how scared you must have been. i will never, ever, yell at you again. i promise.”
“i was really scared.” you confessed. “i’ve never seen you like that.”
“and you shouldn’t have. daddy should never yell at his princess.” just when he thought his tears were under control, his bottom lip started to quiver again. “you were just excited to see me..”
he felt terrible. awful at how he treated you. he felt undeserving of his title. the whole day was heavy on his shoulders, exhaustion taking over his body now that you were home and he knew you were safe.
“i thought maybe you got tired of me..” you said.
“what?” his heart squeezed, like the knife that had been plunged inside it already was now turning. “baby i could never get tired of you.”
you looked down at your injured hand, your own tears falling freely.
“i’m always so needy. always clinging to you.”
“and i love that. i really do. baby i promise that you did absolutely nothing wrong. this is all daddy’s fault.” he tilted your face up to look at him. “you are my perfect little baby, yeah?”
you sniffled, but did your best to nod your head in his hand.
“you. are. perfect.” he said again. enunciating each word, really wanting to make sure you understood.
“can.. can i hold you?” he asked. you nodded in response. “are you sure? tell me with words.”
“yes i’m sure. you can hold me.”
he sat down on his butt, his back leaning against the couch, and he pulled you into his lap. your face was in the crook of his neck and he wrapped his strong arms around you. he held you tight. he had a thought that maybe it was too tight. but when he tried to loosen his hold, you gripped onto him tighter, his t-shirt balled up in your little fists. you cried quietly into his shirt, relief flooding through you as you were finally where you belonged.
“baby i’m so sorry.” he said against your hair, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. i will never scare you ever again. it’s.. it’s eating away at me.” he rubbed his hand across your back.
“do you think you could ever forgive me?” he asked.
you pulled away slightly to look at him properly. “i forgive you, daddy.”
tears threatened to spill down his cheeks again, but he refused. “really?”
you nodded. “you didn’t mean to scare me. you didn’t mean to yell.” you said. “but please don’t ever do it again.”
he shook his head, squeezing you tight. “i won’t. i promise.”
you held your pinky out. he let out a watery chuckle before linking his pinky with yours. “i pinky promise, baby.”
your head fell back to his shoulder and he continued to stroke your back, gently rocking both your bodies back and forth. it was quiet for a moment before he asked, “do you think Beary will forgive me?”
“hmm..” you thought. “i don’t know. he’s very protective of me.”
“i know he is. im a little nervous to face him.”
you laughed and he laughed too, your hearts feeling lighter now that you had each other again. and as he continued to rock you, your eyes grew heavy, your body exhausted from the long evening. you would eventually pass out on his shoulder and he would carry you to bed, tucking the cover around you, and kissing your forehead.
he would mutter an ‘i love you.’ and one more ‘i’m sorry.’ before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
♡ pls reblog if you liked it! it truly helps a lot and makes me smile :) ♡
©hyunjins-orange-slice-too i do not give permission for this work or any of my work to be translated, copied, or reposted.
#emmy answers#🪐 x 🍊#daddy chan supremacy#daddy!skz#stray kids#bang chan#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#bang chan stray kids#bang chan x reader#bang chan angst#bang chan hurt/comfort#stray kids angst#stray kids hurt/comfort#bang chan x you#bang chan x y/n
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💦💖 Sexual & Physical Compatibility Synastry 🤤
Soooo this post was inspired by one of my close friends. She's in a long distance relationship & was explaining how different sex feels with her new man. Now let me preface this and say
*not everyone will experience this synastry the same, that's okay these are just MY OWN obseervations. Ive been studying this for a few years now and so far - it tracks lol*
❤️🔥Mars-Venus Aspects❤️🔥
✨ Conjunction, Trine, or Sextile: These aspects show natural attraction and sexual chemistry. Mars represents passion, while Venus represents love and desire. You can find yourself becoming so intensely attracted to your partner. It's something we astrologers always look for, if you have these, you most certainly will know it by how your body reacts to that person being around you.
✨ Square or Opposition: These can indicate tension that manifests as fiery, passionate attraction but may need effort to balance. So yes, you will want to tear their clothes off every time you interact, but it can also be like unnecessary fights & explosive fights. You will need a sexual outlet.
❇️Mars-Mars Aspects❇️
✨ If Mars in both charts forms a harmonious aspect (e.g., trine or sextile), you may share similar sexual energy levels and desires. Which can lead to wanting the sex at the same time or being on the same page about what makes you feel good in the bedroom.
😍 Mars-Pluto Aspects😍
✨ This is a powerful placement for deep, transformative, and intense sexual attraction. I looooooveeeee seeing this one in couples charts. If you've felt like you can't explain why your body tingles around them, why you can't stop thinking about them? Why you're always wanting to be near them. You possibly have Mars - Pluto. The connection can feel magnetic and almost fated.
💋 Venus-Pluto Aspects💋
✨These aspects create an obsessive, passionate attraction. I say obsessive bc Pluto is involved. It can be healthy though, depending on how you express your obsessions. Like....don't stalk them, but be open about how they make you crave the. There’s often a deep emotional and physical bond that feels irresistible.
🧡Moon-Mars Aspects🧡
✨ The Moon represents emotions and Mars represents physical drive, so these aspects indicate a connection that blends emotional intimacy with sexual passion. I already did an entire post describing this connection in detail, so make sure you visit that one here:
💙Venus-Mars in Each Other's Houses💙
✨ When one partner's Venus or Mars falls into the other's 5th (romance), 7th (partnership), or 8th (sexual intimacy) houses, it can signify strong attraction and sexual compatibility.
💕 Sun-Mars Aspects💕
✨ Harmonious aspects (e.g., trine or sextile) between the Sun and Mars often indicate a strong physical connection. Challenging aspects can create a dynamic but exciting sexual tension. I like Sun & Mars bc sometimes it can feel invigorating & exciting when relationships seem to get dull. You'll always find the other person just enough of a challenge to keep your enticed.
💋Moon-Pluto Aspects💋
✨ This aspect creates emotional intensity and a deep, transformative connection that often translates into a passionate physical bond. I have sen this play out several times and it can be a beautiful bond that only you two will understand. So much so that you may even be willing to try new sexual things w this person, taboo sexual exploration. As long as the emotional connection is being satisfied, you will do anything to please your partner sexually.
❤️🔥Eros and Psyche (433 & 16)❤️🔥
✨Eros (sexual desire) and Psyche (soulful love) aspects in synastry can reveal where deep sexual and emotional compatibility exists.
💛 North Node Conjunct Venus or Mars💛
✨This placement suggests a karmic or destined connection where the partners help each other grow, often through romantic or sexual experiences. The friend I was inspired to make this post bc of this has this with her man. His NN is conjunct her Venus. she's expressed many times how his love feels like it is healing her, forcing her to grow as a divine feminine. I love this one, it also leads to sexual healing.
💕Bonus: 8th House Synastry💕
When one person’s planets fall into the other’s 8th house, it often triggers themes of intimacy, transformation, and sexual magnetism.
These placements and aspects don't guarantee compatibility, but they can highlight areas of potential connection and attraction. Always look at the full synastry chart for a holistic view!
Do you have any of these? Let me know below!
@nianeyemystic ✨❥
#astrology#astro notes#astro observations#synastry aspects#love astrology#astrology aspects#lovers astrology#astro tumblr#astro community#tumblr astrology#synastry reading#sun venus synastry#leo venus#moon mars synastry#pluto synastry#jupiter synastry#sun synastry#synastry moon#sun moon synastry
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