#FG stands for fangirl.......

[enzombie]

Ranking the commanders of FG properly:

⁽ⁿᵒ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʳᵉᵈᵈᶦᵗ ᵖᵒˢᵗ ᵈᶦᵈⁿ'ᵗ ᵘᵖˢᵉᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵒʳ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ⁾

Disclaimer I am ranking them as fictional characters because that's what they are, obviously real-life would rank wildly different. Audience likeability comes into it. The biggest crime a fictional character can commit is irritate the audience, and the murders didn't actually happen. Anyway,

Vivian - the perfect commander to introduce FG actually. she was cool, she was charming, everyone loved her. she made good decisions and dealt with shit well I think. good commander all round. what more do you need. ALTHOUGH my issues with zombie island do impact her ranking because she was a believer in it and I have so many issues with zombie island so overall 8/10 because she was epic and a good leader but her long-term plan was extremely shaky

Chase - I liked Chase. he had to deal with a lot more than he bargained for honestly and that's Carey's fault. also I've said this before but Major didn't help. Major complicated a lot for Chase and he's also the one that gave him the advice that made him go ahead with the OG Renegade execution that made him a villain. honestly I don't have any big issues with Chase. I think he tried his best. I think the circumstances got to him a bit but I don't think he did significantly worse than anyone else would've. I'm giving him a 7/10 because he did the best he could and I can't hold that against him

Major - listen. as a character, I like Major. when he's interacting with Liv and Ravi I'm like 'this guy :D' the moment he's at FG tho. brother. this guy not cut out to be a commander. you cannot lead a military government just because you're the most popular with the bros. Hobbs did a misjudge on that. Major doesn't DO anything. there are actual hatecrimes happening and he's like "we cant do anything about it or it'll look bad :/" like DUDE. like CMON. some of his men were killed in action because of his lax policies and he's like "I can give you their backstories. no justice only backstory." sir I know you're in over your head but a little effort. also I think FG just brought out the worst in Major even before he was commander. not even talking about the child soldiers, just his general character. like go home and play video games with Ravi man you're scaring me :( but yeah that's why we're here at 2/10 because he was too worried about being as uncontroversial as possible to actually do he job

Enzo - READ MY USERNAME AND WEEP. THIS MAN CAN DO NO WRONG AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED. IF HE WANTS TO DO A LITTLE KILLING SOBEIT. HES EARNED IT. but in seriousness I'm not fully convinced he knew what he was doing. props to him for wanting to stick up for zombies and put an end to the hategroups tho. but his way of going about things was.... perhaps terrible? but like he tried to get anyone else to do it. finally decided "be the change you want to see in the world new seattle" and then proceeded to stumble and fall on his face. the effort was there. the civil war didn't help his public image either. in terms of leadership, solid 4/10 because his heart was in the right place, he had potential, but he definitely could've done a lot better (sorry bro)

[dreamescapeswriting]

A Little Time ~ KNJ [Request]

➳➳➳Word Count: 4,1K

➳➳➳Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Western Artist!Reader

➳➳➳Genre: Angst with a fluffy ending

➳➳➳A/n: Hope this turned out the way you were expecting hun

Namjoon held your hand in his as you laid on the hotel bed together, your fingers were intertwined as he hummed a song to you softly holding you as close to him as he could get you, your hands fit perfectly together as if they were handcrafted for one another. Your eyes were staring up at your hands as he held them above your faces, swaying your wrists side to side as you just laid together in silence. It was the first time in months that you'd been able to get away from everyone in the industry and just be together. You were visiting Korea for an award show and you could finally see your boyfriend for the first time in months, it was hard dating him since you were a western artist and he was Korean one but you tried to make it work. The day you had met Namjoon was still fresh in your mind,

You were running late, you were always running late for everything but this was something you really shouldn't have been running late for. It was supposed to be one of the most important meetings of your entire career but your alarm didn't wake you up and then the traffic to your studio was awful. You sprinted up towards the board room where the meeting was being held, a giant table in the middle of a white room with 20 chairs surrounding it,

"Here she is!" Your manager yelled out in excitement as you fell into the meeting room out of breath and panting as you held onto the door handle for some kind of support. Your legs felt like they were about to give out since you took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, your eyes landed on Namjoon instantly and you felt panicked about being late and putting a bad image on the company. You'd known he was going to be there but it didn't stop the inner fangirl inside of you freaking out that he was there to work with you and you alone on a song that you'd been prepping for a while. 

"Sorry, my alarm- traffic, and the stairs- I can't breath." You wheezed sitting down on one of the desk chairs trying to catch your breath, you groaned to yourself for being such a mess in front of Namjoon but he was chuckling softly about it, finding it cute that you'd made such an effort to get here even though you were already late.

"It's fine, we were just going over some ideas for the song. Do you have anything in mind that you want to try?" He asked you sliding you a bottle of water, you took a sip from it and nodded. 

"I've been wanting to try rap..." You mentioned looking at your manager who was nodding along in the corner of the room taking notes on the conversation, 

"I think we could work with that," He smirked at you which made your cheeks heat up as you made direct eye contact with him.

From that point you went into deep planning, coming up with beats and lyrics together and he began to help you with your rapping. Giving you lessons after the long days at the studios were over he didn't mind putting in extra hours for you, those extra hours were extra hours with you and he didn't mind that at all. 

"You're getting better." He told you as you stood in your studio in front of a microphone, you still weren't as good as you wanted to be but you knew it would all come on with practice. 

"Thanks, I thought I was getting worse for a while." You laughed looking at the lyrics in front of you, you were confident in the song and so was he but it was just a little hard to get your head around rapping them instead of singing them. 

"No, you're doing great." It was only now that you realised how close he was to you, your faces were inches apart and you felt your heart rate picking up as he stared down into your eyes, he licked his lips and his eyes flicked down to your lips. He gulped and you felt the urge to grab him a kiss him, there was no doubting that you'd had a crush on him for years but would it be weird if you started making out? 

"Namjoon I-" You didn't finish your sentence because he kissed you, putting his hands on the small of your back to bring you closer. Instead of overthinking it you dropped the lyrics on the floor and wrapped your arms around his neck standing up on your tiptoes to make it easier for him, your lips moved together in sync and it was perfect. Your whole body was tingling as you made out in the studio, he licked your bottom lip and you parted them your hands rushing to his hair to tangle into it and tug a little, making him let out a soft moan into your mouth which made you giggle at him. He pulled away from you to check that this was okay with you and when he saw you smiling up at him he felt his stomach flip, both of your eyes were filled with passion for one another. He kissed you again this time it was rough and passionate as he pushed you back against the desk behind you. Your legs hit the edge and you jumped up to sit on it, spreading your legs so he could stand as close as possible, his hands slid to your cheeks as he cupped your face to deepen the kiss with you.  

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered as he noticed you staring up into space where your hands were hanging in the air, you hummed in the realisation of where you were and came back from your daydream looking at him and then at your hands smiling to yourself about how perfect it felt to be with him. Namjoon and you had been dating for three years since the song came out and every day with him was just as amazing as the last, the only thing you hated was hiding away from everyone. 

"Just us," You giggled softly trying to ignore the pit in your stomach, you had a gut feeling that something was going to go wrong and you knew what it was going to be over. 

"Are you going to be there tomorrow?" You asked, trying to bring the subject up as casually as possible for him but it was never going to be easy. 

"Yeah, we're performing." He told you watching as you sat up in the bed and looked around for something to change into. You'd gone to get Namjoon in jeans, an oversized hoodie and a mask to hide who you were. Neither of you could risk being seen by dispatch or other paparazzi because the relationship was a secret from every person except for the ones in the hotel room right now. 

"Okay, well- My manager she thought it would be better if I had a date for tomorrow." He sat up immediately and stared at you, you knew it wasn't going to go well now. The look on his face wasn't a good one, you'd only ever seen it before when he was mad at a reporter for claiming they were plagiarising the song that you made together.

"A date?" His voice was stern and he was clenching the jaw which normally made you weak at the knees, angry Namjoon was your favourite Namjoon but you knew this anger was directed at you and it only made you anxious. 

"I don't want to." You mumbled getting changed into his oversized FG hoodie and then into your jeans, you wanted to be fully clothed if there was going to be a fight about this.

"Did you even fight it?!" He yelled getting changed into a shirt and some jeans that he'd come out in, you nodded at him. Of course, you'd fought against it but what were you supposed to say. 

"What was I supposed to say Namjoon? I can't because my boyfriend will be mad? We're not supposed to tell people remember?" You were being as calm as possible about this, confrontation was never one of your strong points and you avoided it as much as you possibly could. But Namjoon was fuming about this, his blood was boiling at the mere thought of someone else having their hands around you tomorrow night, touching the person he loved the most. 

"So you're just going to act like a couple all night?!" You could tell he was getting madder by the second, the vein on his neck was starting to bulge and you could see him turning red in the face. 

"There are rules Namjoon, he isn't allowed to kiss me or anything like that." You tried to defend the boy who would be with you for the night but there was no defending him at this point, Namjoon was blind with jealously and anger. 

"It's not as if I can be with you all night, is it? I'm not allowed to touch you...Hold you! Fuck Namjoon I can't even kiss you in the street or tell people we're together." You had had enough of the same fight, it was always this way. The fight was always the same, he would get jealous over you spending time with someone else and then you would just live with it letting him sit in his jealous rage but you couldn't take it anymore. It was down to him that you'd been hiding for the last three years, hiding the relationship from everyone you loved. 

"I told you it's because of the company and I don't want you to get hurt." The same thing he would tell you every time, it was the same line recycled over and over again. 

"Don't get mad at me then because my company wants me to seem like I'm taken." You tried to make him see that this wasn't something to be shouting and falling out for but he didn't see it that way, he saw it as you trying force your relationship out into the open.

"What is it? You just want our relationship to be out so you can benefit from it?!" There was a spiteful tone to that that you'd never heard him use before with anyone nevermind with you, you felt your heart shatter and you physically took a step back away from him upon hearing the words leave his mouth. 

"Excuse me?" You whispered trying not to cry in front of him but it was too late the tears were already rushing up into your eyes and you were ready to start balling. 

"Get a little extra money from us dating, some extra paparazzi to expose your music." You scoffed at him for being so ridiculous you'd been together for three years if you were really that bothered about music sales or money you would have done something long before now.

"Is that what you think of me?" Your voice was full of hurt as he stayed silent and you knew you had your answer, 

"I'll drive you back to the dorms." You mumbled looking around your hotel room for your car keys, you'd rented a car as soon as you got to Korea because you knew Namjoon couldn't drive and no one would be trailing you too much.

"Y/n-" You shook your head at him not wanting to hear it from him right now and reached for the keys, nodding over at the door. 

"I'll wait in the parking garage." You whispered leaving the room and trying not to cry as you walked down the silent halls. It was 3 in the morning so the hotel was dead except for the night manager who was watching you as you passed by, 

"Going for a drive, clear my head." You said in Korean smiling at him before leaving and going to find the car. You wished that you and Namjoon could be a normal couple, being able to hold his hands as you wanted, you wanted to go Namjooning together and look up at the stars on a night time by the Han River. You wanted to scream out for everyone to hear you that you loved Kim Namjoon and that he loved you back.

"Fuck." Your voice cracked as you gripped onto the steering wheel pushing your head against it and crying as you waited for Namjoon to get to the car. Tears were streaming down your cheeks and your vision was blurring and you were shaking with how angry and upset you were. 

As soon as he was inside you silently started up the car and began the short drive back to the dorms for him, tears rolling down your face in silence, you didn't make a sound not even a sniffle as you tried to focus on anything but the deafening silence within the car. The sentence he'd said to you rushed through your mind over and over again playing like a song that was stuck in your head. If he really thought that's why you were with him then why did he stay with you?

The night was starting to begin and you were looking around for Namjoon from inside of the car you were waiting in, you hadn't even spoken when he got out of the car the night before, he just got out and left you alone, once you got back to the hotel room you cried into his shirt not wanting to go through with the award ceremony anymore. It didn't feel right without knowing if you and Namjoon were okay. 

"You okay?" You felt his hand slide around your waist and for a second your mind let you believe it was Namjoon coming to see you, forgetting for a second that you were sitting inside of a car and not outside on the carpet, but your hands landed on the hand and followed the arm up to find Chris. The one your manager had set the evening up with, you cringed at his hand on your waist where Namjoon's should have been, his thumb was caressing the dip in your dress and you stared at you manager inside of the car but she stared at her phone avoiding your gaze. She knew something was wrong with you, she'd walked into your hotel room and found you crying but she said nothing. Choosing to get you ready for the night instead consoling you about it, you'd tried to get out of the date again but she was adamant that this was needed.

"Your turn." The door to the limo opened and you stepped out first, holding hands with one of the escorts on the carpet, you thanked him in Korean and walked along the carpet stopping to do small interviews with reporters. It was a good thing you were fluent in Korean or this would have been a terrible night for you, Mark stayed by your side with a giant smile across his face and you kept glancing around for any sign of Namjoon. 

Namjoon spotted you first he stared from across the carpet as the one you were with place his hands around your waist and drew you closer to him, making you fake a laugh loudly to get attention from reporters.

"Joonie? You alright?" Jungkook asked grabbing the attention from the other members who all turned to see what Namjoon was staring at, the youngest saw you first and he smiled. 

"Isn't that Y/n? You collaborated a couple of years ago right?" Namjoon nodded as he watched them all drool over you as if you weren't together, but they didn't know. No one knew and he knew that was his fault. He was just scared of everyone knowing about you and the relationship losing what was special about it, it was a secret that only you and he knew about. Jimin nudged Jin in the side remembering the lyrics they'd seen on Namjoon's studio desk before this whole thing started, 

Jimin walked into the studio looking for Namjoon so they could go and get food before the event but instead, he found scattered bits of paper laying around the table. Jin came into the room after Jimin to see what was taking so long and then he saw the state of the room. It hadn't been in such a mess for years, he was clearly working through some emotions he was feeling, Jimin picked up the piece closest to the keyboard and read through the words,

Nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby, I don't want to live love this way and I don't wanna hide us away. I wanna tell the world about the love we're sharing. Till that day we'll hide behind closed doors, and sneak moments behind closed curtains." Both of them stared at the paper and then heard Namjoon coming back so they put it down trying to act as though they had only just walked into the room. 

"You don't think?" Jimin asked looking at Namjoon, his fists were clenched by his sides as you giggled again moving closer to the boys. You looked up from the floor to meet Namjoon's gaze and the rest of the world seemed to slow down around you as you locked eyes, you were the only ones that existed right now and it didn't matter that Chris had his arms around you because all you were picturing was Namjoon. 

"Hi Y/n." Taehyung greeted oblivious to what was happening and your gaze was pulled away from Namjoon, 

"Hi, Tae." He hugged you and then the rest of the members joined in, leaving Namjoon till last. You'd met them all before when you first came to Korea, you were doing a small stage to premier the song you'd written with Namjoon and they were they. 

"Hi." Namjoon greeted trying not to come across too eager or not eager enough, you hugged him as you had the others not wanting it to come across weird if anyone was watching.

"I love you." He whispered in your ear when he knew no one could hear you, you pulled away and nodded at him letting him know you loved him as well. You felt relieved as you walked away from them, knowing everything was still okay with Namjoon put your mind at ease and you didn't feel like you had to worry throughout the night about what was happening between you both. 

"As a surprise award, we have a collaboration award." Nominees were read from a card by the presenter on stage and you clapped your hands together as you heard the names being mentioned until it got to your name and Namjoon's. You had no idea you were up for an award except for the one you had already won earlier that night and neither did Namjoon by the look on his face. Your night was only supposed to be about one award and that was the Best New Producer award which you'd won when you collaborated with a new kpop band.

"The winners are Y/n Y/L/N and Kim Namjoon!" The venue was erupting with cheers and you got up from the table and began walking in the direction of the stage, meeting Namjoon by the stairs and he held his hand out to help you walk up them.

"I didn't know we were up for anything." You said through the smile as they played the song loudly throughout the stadium, 

"Neither did I." He said back through a smile, chuckling as the man held you a small trophy and you smiled up at Namjoon wanting him to do a speech. He was always the better one at talking to crowds, 

"I can safely say that myself and Y/n had no idea we were up for an award but we're so thankful to everyone who helped it possible." He chuckled looking at you and urged for you to go next, 

"I didn't prepare anything so I'll just say thank you!" You were both escorted backstage to hand the trophy back to someone who would give you the real one to take back to your tables, you and Namjoon were alone for the first time all night. 

"I don't want to live like this anymore," He whispered to you as you both stayed still looking at the desk in front of you. You didn't know how long you had until the woman came back so neither of you wanted to test it by kissing if someone saw you it was game over.

"I don't want to either Namjoon, but it's how your life works. I'm sorry I was dramatic last night," He shook his head his hand brushing against yours debating taking hold of it but stopping himself when he saw the woman coming back in the distance. 

"You weren't dramatic, I was out of line." You hummed and took the trophy sending the lady a quick thank you before leaving. You turned you back on Namjoon and began walking away but he wasn't through with the conversation, he followed behind you quickly and pulled you into a nearby room. 

"A utility closet? Really?" You asked trying not to laugh at how cliche it was that he pulled you into one of the tightest rooms he could manage,

"I didn't think it through." He chuckled looking down at you, he pushed the hair from your face and his hand rested against your cheek his thumb gliding across your skin as he looking down at you lovingly. 

"You don't get to look at me like that." You whispered wanting to cry as soon as you stared up again him but he frowned cocking his head to the side. 

"Like what?" He teased still staring at you with the same look in your eyes that made your legs shake and your world spin, 

"Like you're in love with me." He bent down so he could be next to your ear, 

"I am in love with you." He whispered kissing your cheek and then pulling away, he was trying to be cute but it only made you want to cry out more. You wanted to be mad at him for what had happened the night before but the truth was you could never stay mad at one another and it was always going to boil down to the fact that you loved each other and nothing else mattered except that. 

"I'm sorry," You whispered to him kissing his lips softly and then staring up into his eyes, 

"Give me six more months, six months of convincing everyone that this is good for our image and we can be out in the open. We just need a little time," His fingers held onto yours and you felt a spark ignite starting at your fingertips and spreading throughout your entire body.

"I don't mind hiding Namjoon, I just-"

"I mind, I don't want to hide our love anymore." You felt your heart race as he said that, normally it was you and you alone fighting for sharing your relationship, this was a whole new side to Namjoon. 

"We'll start with the boys, you'll come back to the dorms later and we'll tell them then." He growled and you smirked knowing that he was jealous that his friends had all hugged you and watched you all night, 

"Is someone a little jealous?" You teased biting down on your bottom lip and playing with the tie he was wearing, 

"It's pretty right? It'll look better around your wrists later, I'm still mad at you and that-"

"Chris." You told him the name making him growl once again only making you more excited for the night to come to an end so you could be alone together, he grabbed your ass and pulled your body so close you were basically sitting on top of him inside of the tiny room. 

"Don't let him touch you anymore tonight, you're mine." He whispered in your ear, biting down on the lobe and pulling away knowing that people would be looking for you both if you didn't go back now.

"I'll see you tonight baby, I love you." He whispered giving you another kiss on the lips, you wished you could have stayed there longer but you knew the sooner you got on with the evening the sooner it would be home time. 

"I love you too." You whispered, kissing him on the lips and leaving the utility closet first and walking in the opposite direction of which you had come.

tagline:

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @kpopfanfictionhoes @lyoongx @mitzwinchester​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @fan-ati--c​ @callingmyangel​  

[arabian-bloodstream]

TROS: The Good, the Bad & the Huh?

So, I watched The Rise of Skywalker on Thursday. It met my expectations which were to not expect too much. I hadn't read the leaks, but I had still been spoiled. I didn't want to believe that Ben would actually die, but I knew it was a very real possibility so when it happened, I wasn't terribly surprised. Overall, I liked the movie, because, duh, it's Star Wars. However, I had a lot of problems with it because a lot of things didn't make sense.

I watched it a second time on Saturday and sadly, those things still didn't make sense, but I still liked it because, you know, Star Wars. So, here are my thoughts, first off with all of those things that don't make sense without having to rely on the SW visual dictionary or EU (because you should NOT have to rely on outside source to understand stuff) to explain them, then my biggest issues with the film, the things I did really like and my rankings of all the films as of now before it comes out and I can do a full rewatch:

Questions... So Many Questions

Where is Kylo in the beginning? Who is he mowing down? How does he find the wayfinder?

How did Palpatine come back?

Who has been taking care of him for the last 30-odd years?

Who are all of those hooded creatures in the stands?

Why are there a couple of Snoke puppets? Molds? What the fuck ever? In aquarium tanks?

Who is this General Pryde dude and why is he so high up and we've never heard of him before?

Who was Palpatine's girlfriend/wife/one-night stand that led to Rey's dad(?) mom(?)?

Where did this all come from!??!? Palpy having a child seems like a pretty fucking big deal to just OOPS! pop out of nowhere?

Some random THERE ARE ONLY TWO SUPER-SEKRIT-SITH wayfinder thingies to find Palpatine that Luke was on a SUPER-SEKRIT mission with Lando THAT WAS NEVER MENTIONED in between him training his Jedi students and his temple getting destroyed, having a split-second 'maybe I should murder my nephew' moment, 'nah!' and going into exile. Uhm, OK.

Leia was trained in the Force by Luke? Uhm... when? When she was pregnant with Ben? Because she got pregnant pretty much right after Endor. So... she learned enough from Luke--even though she didn't complete her training--to train Rey... enough that Rey became super-duper powerful. Because I highly doubt that Leia had time to train while pregnant and helping to start up a new government. OK, then.

So, Leia and Luke *knew* that Rey was the granddaughter of Sheev Palpatine--the most evil who ever eviled--and had no problem believing that there was good in her and she could be molded into an awesome Jedi... but didn't believe the same about their own son/nephew because he had too much "Vader" in him? Even though, Luke believed that Vader could be redeemed? Huh?! I mean... huh?

And on that note... so, all of the old Jedi decided to let the grandson of The Chosen One fall down a pit and crawl back up in agony with a shrug, but were like, 'yeah, we're gonna help the granddaughter of the man whose goal in life and in-between life and now life again after sucking out the life-force of the two remaining Jedi in the Galaxy.' OK, then.

So... how come, when Rey died she didn't just fade away? I mean, when Ben died he faded away right away. Why didn't Rey fade away right away?

So those horse-creature thingies... why were they on the ships to be on the destroyers? I mean, like... was there even room? And when that was destroyed, did like those horse-creature thingies all die? How sad... and no one cared.

The 'Rey, I need to tell you something' from Finn. I know now it was that he's Force-sensitive. AFTER watching the movie and hearing other people say it. Watching it the second time, I picked up on the clues, but those I watched it with the second time thought it was that he loved Rey. A lot of people thought it was that he loved Rey. I thought that the first time. It was clumsy, it was tacked-on. It was... stupid. Why would you leave a dangling thread, one of JJ's "mystery boxes" in the final chapter of the ninth-film saga? WHY?!

Also, more importantly, why were the Resistance celebrating at the end? Because "The Final Order" were taken out, but uhm, The First Order is still around. Unless I'm remembering it incorrectly (and I could be), it was the Final Order ships, General Pryde's destroyer and a bunch of First Order fighters, but not ALL of the First Order destroyers were there. They've got thousands of destroyers spread across the galaxy. They weren't all there. They took out the Emperor's fleet, not the Supreme Leader's fleet. And sure, the Supreme Leader is gone, and Pryde and Hux are gone... but there are other Generals who will step up. So, yeah, the First Order is still around. The First Order is the huge, massive enemy that our heroes are fighting the entire two films. And there is LITERALLY no mention of their defeat, of how THEY are brought down in this film. Instead, JJ brings in Palpatine and his thousands of somehow functioning Final Order fleet... and *that* fleet* is destroyed. YAY! Celebration ensues. WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST ORDER!?!? The one that we spent the last two films fighting?!? The ones that the rest of the galaxy had zero interest in helping to fight during the battle of Crait and ANYTIME in the interim before the Battle of Exogol. That's kind of huge.

Why did Rey go to Tatooine? Seriously? Why. Did. Rey. Go. To. Tatooine? Luke hated Tatooine. And besides, Rey spent at most a week with the guy and didn't have a very good relationship with him. Sure, they had a decent post-death conversation, but that was it. It really was like JJ intended (after TFA) for Rey to go to Luke and for Luke to train her in the ways of the Force and for there to be this great relationship, much like Luke and Yoda. I guess he expected for Rian Johnson to redo so much of TESB much as he had done with ANH. But Johnson didn't do that, and Abrams clearly didn't care. So he just ignored the relationship that Johnson *did* establish between Rey and Luke and pretended like the one that he envisioned had happened had, well, happened. (Psst, even though it didn't.) But it made no sense. Again, at most a week Rey spent with the grumpy old dude who wasn't very nice to her, whom she fought with and who told her--yeah, no, this ain't how it's gonna be, and so she took off and went her own way. Sure, Luke changed his mind, but she wasn't there for that.

Why did Rey have BB-8 with her? BB-8 is Poe's droid, not hers. Oh, right... it paralleled TFA--where it made sense that BB-8 was with her, when Poe was "dead" which he is not now. Mmhmm.

Why did Rey take the last name Skywalker? She didn't have the relationship with Luke that warranted it. You know who she DID have the relationship with? Han SOLO. Leia Organa-SOLO. Ben SOLO. Those are the people with whom she had that kind of relationship. The man who DID become like a father to her in a few short days. The woman who did become like a mother to her. The man who was literally the other half of her soul. If she was going to take a name... it should have been Solo. Rey Solo. Taking the name Skywalker, much like going to Tatooine was not in character for Rey, and it wasn't FOR Rey. It was nostalgia for the Original Trilogy fans (oh, like JJ Abrams). It wasn't true to the narrative, the character, of the story that has been told over *this* sequel trilogy.

Why was there no Force Ghost of Ben? There needs to be some specific training in order to be a Force Ghost, sure. Which Luke *probably* got from FG Yoda. And which Luke gave to Leia in cut footage. And this specific training was mentioned briefly in the Prequel Trilogy, and more extensively in The Clone Wars.... but unless you remember that one line from the PT or watched TCW and know about that cut footage, you have no clue. So, many are left wondering, again: Why was there no Force Ghost of Ben? If Luke *probably* got that training from Yoda, why didn't Luke train Ben in it? He's gotta know how tragic the lives of the Skywalkers are... ain't no way he didn't train that boy early on about that bit of info, right? So, yeah, why no Force Ghost of Ben?

So many questions, so many things that had me going: Wait? What? Huh? Why... I don't... huh? How did--? When? Huh? That should not happen this much in a film. Period. That is bad writing. That is bad directing. That is bad pacing. That is just bad film making.

The Big Four Issues

I. Ben Solo Dying.

Had he had not been the last Skywalker, I would have been OK with him dying. Not happy, but narratively, I would have been OK with it.

Had Han not sacrificed himself essentially which was then used as a narrative to build into a huge reason as to why Kylo was having such a hard time staying on the Dark path, I would have been OK with him dying. Not happy, but narratively, I would have been OK with it.

Had we not been given some hints that Ben had been manipulated his whole life by the Dark Side and abandoned by his family, I would have been OK with him dying. Not happy, but narratively, I would have been OK with it.

Had we not been told that he was literally sharing a soul with Rey (one soul-two bodies), meaning that she will be bereft and lost without him for the rest of her life because her literal soulmate is dead now, I would have been OK with him dying. Not happy, but narratively, I would have been OK with it.

However, because of all of the above, narratively speaking, no, I am not OK with it. I have always said in every fandom I have been a part of that if it makes sense from a narrative point of view--even if I'm not happy as a fangirl--I will be OK with it. From a narrative point of view, this did not make sense. So, yeah, I had an issue with Ben Solo dying.

II. Kylo Ren's Helmet and Rey's Hairstyle

I said when I first saw the triple-bun-hairstyle again and Kylo with the helmet that I was wary because I felt that JJ had fundamentally missed the symbolism of what Rian did with the progression for both characters. I hoped that I would be proven wrong and there would be a reason for the return of both things (beyond needing the hairstyle for scenes with Leia to match the footage). Alas, I was not.

Kylo without the mask was him no longer in Vader’s shadow. The mask was about him being the scared, little boy, hiding who he was. At the end of The Last Jedi, he supposedly got everything he wanted. He no longer needed to hide. By destroying the mask, he was doing his best to let go of the past. He let go of Snoke, let go of Vader. But, of course, that wasn't the story that JJ wanted to tell. He wanted to keep Kylo answering to someone else, holding onto Vader. So because Rian got rid of Snoke, JJ brought in Palpatine for Kylo to be submissive to, beholden to Vader still, no longer the leader and back came the helmet, undoing all of that great character progression that Rian had crafted.

As for Rey and those buns, sigh. Once she realized–as she did in the cave, even if she didn't admit it fully to herself until Kylo called her on it–that her parents weren't coming back, she let go of that hairstyle. Why? Because that hairstyle is the only way she could figure that her parents would still recognize her. It's the hairstyle she had when she last saw them. By letting her hair down and not putting it back up, she let go of the fantasy that they were coming back. JJ putting her back into that ridiculous style, like with Kylo, he erased that huge, beautiful character arc of Rey's. She was once more a girl in search of her identity, her self. That self, that woman that she had found at the end of TLJ was gone. *double sigh.*

III. Rose's Presence or Lack Thereof

The toxic bullying and horrible way that Kelly Marie Tran was treated was completely unjustified in every way, shape and form. JJ Abrams pretty much rewarded that treatment by sidelining the character of Rose and wrote her as a glorified extra. Period. There's pretty much nothing else to say about it. Anything else will just devolve into ranting. It--yeah, just gonna stop here.

IV. The Force Bond Scenes

Least "big" issue, but it bugged me. I noticed it the first time I watched the film and hoped that it would be more clear the second time I watched it. That second time, I watched it with my brother-in-law and nephews and asked them if they had the same issue. They did. I wasn't sure honestly when Rey and Kylo were actually together or were having Force Bond moments. One of my nephews didn't realize that Rey and Kylo were actually fighting in person on the Death Star until Kylo was talking to Han. That entire scene from when he showed up inside the Death Star remains, through the fight scene, through her stabbing, then healing him and her taking off... my nephew thought that it was a Force Bond scene. Both times, I didn't realize it wasn't a Force Bond scene UNTIL they moved outside of the Death Star remains. When they were talking inside, I thought it was a Force Bond scene.

Rian Johnson did such a wonderful job establishing they were having a Force Bond moment. It was like the air was being vacuumed out of the room. You could feel the tension. It was obvious, but in these Force Bond scenes unless the scenes were drastically different or there was dialogue establishing it, you just could NOT tell.

But, It's Not All Bad!

The Han/Ben scene gutted my very soul in all the best way possibles. I ADORED the callback to The Force Awakens scene. How the play on the dialogue worked in the opposite direction, with Han urging him that he could it, he did have the strength to turn to the light. How Ben held the lightsaber, and once again, Han reached out to touch his face. Oh, God, and when he said "Dad," his voice breaking and Han said, "I know." I died. I was just.... gah, a total mess. I teared up both times. That was just everything. SO. VERY. HARD!

Babu Frick may be my new spirit animal. No, I do not find him cuter than Baby Yoda (puhleeze!), but dear Lord, I loved him so. When C3P0 (who will forever remain in my heart, I love him so) had his memory wiped and was introducing himself, I laughed out loud both times when Babu immediately pipes up with, "I'm Babu Frick!" and then later on when whoever mentioned that Babu sent them a message, 3P0 pipes up, "Oh, I know Babu Frick, he's my oldest friend," I lost it. So good.

Speaking of C3P0, every moment with C3P0 was gold (hehehe, see what I did there?). I seriously do love Goldenrod. I liked the sentimental, the sweet, the serious and the funny with him. Outside of the Babu Frick moments, my favorite was when he mentioned something about the Passana Desert festival and they all looked at the annoyance that is 3P0 and he has no clue and turns around himself to see what they are looking at. Oh, I love him so.

When Finn told Rose that he was staying on the ship... JJ may have cut the Finn/Rose dead in the water that Rian set up, but damn did KMT give it her all. That moment where she looked after him, oh it was beautiful. You could see all of the worry, the love, the pride... everything on her face in that moment. So good.

I may have felt that Zorri Bliss was a completely useless and pointless character, but that final bit with her Poe was hilarious.

The lightsaber battle on the Death Star remains was AWESOME-SAUCE. Every moment of it. I especially loved: Kylo walking out of the rain/water. Kylo and Rey both so exhausted they can barely keep going. Kylo having the kill-shot like two or three times and just not able to do it. Ben hearing Leia say his name. Ben dropping his saber when he senses her end is near.

Chewie finally got his damn medal!

Chewie mourning over Leia. That was all of us.

Man, when Rey and Kylo were fighting over the destroyer and then lightning came out of her hands... it was like WHOAH!! SO FREAKING COOL! I loved that. I really totes did!

I loved every single, solitary moment of Ben Solo. From his running to save Rey. From his free-for-all jump to his "Ow." To his facing of the knights, knowing he was outnumbered, but still determined to take them all. From his 'We got this babe!' look to Rey to his shrug once he held that lightsaber in his hand and took on every one of those Knights and took them all down, Ben Solo was sassy, bad-ass and amazing all without saying an actual word.

Dear Lord. Crawling from the pit, forcing himself across that rocky floor on a broken leg, gathering the woman he loved in his arms. The relief of finally, finally, truly holding her in his arms, the devastation at knowing she was lost to him, and then the determination, the refusal to let her go, to lose her. He truly finished what his grandfather started. He would not let the woman he loved die. So be brought her back, pouring every ounce of his life, his love into her.

I loved that she told him that she wanted to take Ben's hand, and so she did. And she said his name, one last time. "Ben." And I loved that we got that beautiful, beautiful smile. So happy, so free, so full of light. And no pain.

*sigh* The kiss. I loved, loved, loved that we got our beautiful, epic space kiss. *double sigh* Because it was beautiful. And it was epic. And it's canon, bitches! Yeah, baby!

Overall, I liked the movie. I believe that when I watch all the films together, I will be satisfied. I just wish I loved it. I AM happy for all of those people who do love it though. I truly, truly am.

The Skywalker Saga Rankings

Yes, I consider Rogue One part of the Skywalker Saga since both Darth Vader and Leia appear in it.

The Empire Strikes Back

The Last Jedi

A New Hope

Rogue One

Attack of the Clones

The Force Awakens

Return of the Jedi

The Rise of Skywalker

Revenge of the Sith

The Phantom Menace

[thewafflewhat]

22/07/17 (9th time) (evening)

So, let’s start off this rant with the glow stick fiasco. I’m sure by now you’ve all heard about glow stick gate, but if you haven’t, I’ll give you some context now: I’m standing in one of the two massive fat-off queues either side of the building to get in when suddenly this woman walks past handing out glow sticks saying that it was for Wicked, and for some reason I thought she was with the theatre so I took some (free glow sticks!) and stuck them in my mother’s bag. There were four in each little pack; two green and two pink, and there was a little note on them that said something to the effect of ‘get them out when Elphaba hands Glinda the book in For Good’ and I just thought ‘aw that’s cute! Like for the last ever show in Germany! That’ll be cute omg the AV staff are being really cute this cast change’… Until less than a minute later, a woman in the FOH suit walked down the line in the opposite direction taking all of the glow sticks off of everyone, and tbh I didn’t want to give mine in because even if they weren’t going to be used in the show they’re still free fucking glow sticks! Who turns down free glow sticks?! But they were doing bag checks on the way into the theatre (as an extra security measure after all of the terror attacks across the UK since the start of the year) and I figured they’d get taken off of me on the way in anyway… So I gave them to the woman as she came back down the line to head back into the theatre.

So, the FOH staff know when the glow sticks are going to be pulled out and they were on high fucking alert going into that part of the scene (although I’d almost forgotten about them at that point) so when Elphaba passes the Grimmerie to Glinda just before FG all you heard were the cracks of glow sticks that the people giving them out had still managed to sneak in, and then suddenly there was a FOH staff member crouching down and running down every single aisle (that I could see of the stalls from where I was sitting) to tell anyone holding the glow sticks to put them down so they wouldn’t be distracting, and it was the funniest goddamn thing I think I’ve ever seen in that theatre not related to the show. Legitimately, I was half immersed in the scene (only half because I didn’t want to start crying in public…) and I heard the cracks and had a bit of an ‘oh shit’ moment when I remembered about the glow sticks and then I just started laughing.

ANYWAY altogether that incident probably lasted less than 30 seconds and no one got the glow sticks out again, not even for the curtain call and speeches. And that was glow stick gate, now onto my other rambling!

- Random thought before I start to properly ramble but the cogs on the set actually turn! It took me seeing the show nine time to finally see it but I thought it was so cool!

- I said it before when I went to see Kerry’s last show but I’ll say it again: the audience for cast change dates (specifically last show dates) is fucking electric, there’s so much love from just about everyone in the theatre and I’m glad I got the chance to experience it again; it’s Wicked at its best imo, purely because the cast gives as good as they get and react accordingly to all the love and extra attention from the audience, and you can really tell that they were savouring every second

- The best example I can think of to try and describe what the atmosphere was like to anyone who wasn’t at the show was the applause that went on for a ridiculous amount of time for just about every principle cast member for their first entrance.

- Suzie’s lasted for a literal minute (which made “it’s good to see me isn’t it” and “no need to respond, that was rhetorical” even better imo) and I just remember never wanting it to stop because you could literally feel the love radiating from the audience! I felt so fucking proud because all of those people were clapping and cheering FOR HER! This smol Aussie bean who joined the cast in September who crept into the hearts of every single person who saw the show during that time. Like I haven’t seen one bad word said about her online and she always seems so gracious and lovely (and you’ll know that I fucking love her if you read the last one of these I did back in January) and she fucking deserved that applause. I’m so happy she got it, and it set the tone for the entire show that, yes, this was going to be a beautiful show full of love not just between the cast on stage but from the audience to the cast as well.

- If I thought Suzie’s applause lasted a long time then Willemijn’s lasted for a goddamn eternity. I’ve never heard anything like it, and I’m so fucking glad that she got that support and felt that love from everyone in the auditorium. *BEWARE FANGIRLING AHEAD* The amount of love and pride I felt for her in that single moment was off the fucking charts. If someone could go back to 2014 and tell that Willemijn that in 3 years she’d be back in the London production of Wicked getting the chance to properly finish her run, not just in London but for the whole show, after a decade with the role, getting to celebrate her own special 10th anniversary along with the London production, and the fact that she was STILL getting that much support and love from audience members from around the entire goddamn globe, I don’t think she would have believed you. And that just speaks to how humble she is to this day about all of the opportunities she’s had with this role and this show, and all of that is just a testament to how much she loves the show, the role, her cast mates (from all of the numerous companies), and all of her fans. I’m just so glad I got a chance to see Willphaba’s ‘super Elphie’ when I did as many times as I got to!

- Sue Kelvin got applause when she came on too and she absolutely lapped it up. She was loving it so much, she even did a tiny curtsey when the applause didn’t stop.

- Oliver Saville got some love when he first came on but it didn’t go on for nearly as long as Suzie or Willemijn’s (mostly just because it felt so awkward for the applause to keep going on when he was pretending to be asleep so he couldn’t savour it in quite the same way as the others)

- Mark Curry got applause when he first entered too (which I thought was so lovely! I’ve never seen a Wizard get applause but I really came to love Mark’s interpretation so I’m glad he got some love)

- I also have to give props to the audience for being respectful and waiting until the end of songs to clap (instead of starting to clap before the music has even ended and going over the top with it), and for the fact that any clapping mid song didn’t go on for a silly amount of time (just enough to show appreciation for the moment without interrupting the rest of the song; like when Willemijn flew in DG, and when she comes up for the start of NGD) which made me feel pretty proud, especially since I remember Kerry’s LAST last show and there was none of that respectfulness… Yay! Audiences growing up with the show over the years!!

- Major side note: the audience should really learn to take cues from the ensemble; if they’re laughing, you shouldn’t be. That literally resolves all issues of laughing at the shit that isn’t funny, AND if the atmosphere on stage is serious then you don’t laugh! Like when Dr. Dillamond bleats during SB there was this drunk woman (who’d clearly seen the show before) who mumbled along to the end of his lines and then laughed hysterically when he bleated. There’s a big difference in atmosphere for a serious scene vs. what is supposed to be comedic (the bleating vs. the train station scene, for example) and I’m still waiting for the day that an entire audience actually gets that.

- (I’m also waiting for the day when the audience actually laughs at all the stuff that IS funny. I’ve seen far too many shows where I’m laughing because the line or the delivery of the line is funny but no one else around me is laughing. Like, it’s fucking funny, just laugh)

- Willemijn is The Riff Queen™ god she really left no prisoners with this show, a wonderful send off to the six month run she had, creating new riffs left, right and centre at random fucking weekday shows.

- (Here’s a short ‘Willemijn is queen’ thing) During the last section of TWAI she doesn’t take a breath all the way from the start of ‘with me’ right through until the end of ‘things I’ve never felt’ but she never loses any power or volume in any of the phrases (once I realised it I’ve been checking to see if other Elphies do it and none of them do. Some of them manage from ‘with me’ to the end of ‘with the Wizard’ but none of them can manage to sustain it for as long as Willemijn. Super Elphie to the max!)

- Both Suzie and Willemijn’s little Americanisms in pronunciation were still there but I can’t fault them for that, their accents were otherwise truly convincing (although Willemijn did seem to trip up on the line “so you think I should just shut up, is that it?” during the lion cub scene but that was really the only line)

- Suzie and Willemijn still broke my heart in all the right places (like Elphaba’s dance! Suzie did the eye contact thing again and my heart ached)

- Popular is hilarious. More specifically, Suzie’s Popular is hilarious. In fact, it’s the funniest part of the entire damn show (but only if the actress playing Galinda lets it be and also if whoever the Elphaba is plays along with it too), purely because of the ‘toss toss’ bit. I do think it just speaks to the chemistry Willemijn tends to have with her Glindas, and the way that she plays off of what each Glinda gives her. Suzie’s ‘toss toss’ has a laugh AND a gesture after it so watching poor little awkward Willphaba react to that is always a good time. It had me proper belly laughing, I can’t lie. ALSO! Suzie’s little lip puckers when she puts on the lipstick makes me chuckle every time, and then to add to the moment, Willemijn wipes the lipstick off and then proceeds to wipe it on Galinda’s bed!

- Elphie not only keeps the pink flower that Galinda gives her but she also doesn’t take it off until just after Fiyero catches her practicing her hair toss and tells her she doesn’t have to glam herself up, and I just realised that I find it really cute that the flower and the new found Gelphie friendship clearly means that much to her that she kept the goddamn flower, I mean!

- Low E in INTG!

- There are little flashes in lighting for any small downbeats during OSD and I realised it to simulate photographs being taken! Gelphie being tourists and being dorky and taking photos together is my new favourite thing!

- I’ve said before how much I love the fact that any time Suzie’s on stage she’s acting her goddamn heart out even if she isn’t the focus during that moment, so I was watching her to see her reactions to certain things and she smiles when Elphie casts her first spell!!! A proud smile! It was the most beautiful thing!!!!!!!!!!!!

- (I’ve flailed about Willemijn’s final DG in a few posts before posting this so I’ll just link them here (x) (x))

- Low G in INTG reprise!

- Willemijn did her line Kerry Ellis style after ALAYM! (As did Rachel Tucker for her last show this year too)

- Willemijn’s witch cackle during the cat fight scene is seriously unmatched and I already miss it.

- There wasn’t a note match going into NGD but it’s because Suzie’s speaking voice is quite deep compared to some other Glindas (Savannah has quite a deep speaking voice too, I think it might be a London thing) so when she yelled ‘Fiyero’ it wasn’t as high pitched and screechy as some others, and then Willemijn still went ‘fuck it I’m gonna belt a super high note anyway’ which means the transition between the two wasn’t seamless but goodness me Willemijn Verkiak!

- NGD is Willemijn’s song all over, I don’t even give a single fuck.

- Sue Kelvin’s Madame Morrible is bullying Glinda even before their little scene in MOTWH (in fact you could see it in TG, when the Ozians were spreading those horrible rumours about Elphaba, Suzie was reacting to each thing and then turned around to Morrible to protest and got shut down and turned back around with a fake smile), it’s just that is when you actually see it first hand in the show. I love it when cast members have enough experience to create those small moments between themselves that only adds to their character and the mini arcs in each act.

- I also have to give some merit to Sue Kelvin’s Madame Morrible, her ‘wicked witch’ never failed to give me chills, and every tiny nuance from her line delivery to her stage presence just makes me love her more; there will never be another like her.

- There were no noticeable sound issues this time (thank fuck, sound no. 1 has finally learned!) but the mix still sounds really weird to my ears and for what I enjoy.

- Willemijn and Suzie started their bows hugging! The door opened on them at the right time and they were standing there hugging each other :’) (x)

- There were 21 cast members who left the company for this cast change! Just about every single principal apart from Nessa and Dillamond left and a large number of the ensemble (although there were a whopping 23 cast members who left for the 2016 cast change just before the 10th anniversary cast joined the show)

- Willemijn was crying during her speech, Suzie was crying, the ensemble was crying, my heart was fucking crying ugh

- You could really tell just how much the whole company love each other as well

- Popular was Suzie’s song from the beginning! She auditioned with it for WAAPA when she completely changed the course she was studying! I’m so glad she got to finish her Wicked journey in London.

- All in all, the principles from the 10th anniversary casts were all incredible and they’ll be sorely missed in the global Wicked family (though you never can be too sure with any of them, saying they’re done with the role and then ‘surprise bitch’)

So the moral of this story is: when you’ve already seen your show 3 times in under 2 months, the only way you can possibly see them any closer together is to just go on the same day!

[kayostesting]

test

You are now Choromatsu, and you have just arrived in the Land of Aluminum and Frogs. FUCKING FINALLY. Excuse that. You’re a bit mentally on edge after dealing with your server player and his dumbass shenanigans. But enough of that. Being so high-strung isn't going to get you anywhere. Perhaps you can wind down by exploring your planet for a bit. From what you gather by looking out the window to your side, the land seems quite barren, however you can see a few trees in the distance. There’s also a nice stream flowing just a little bit away from where you are. You glance at the windows behind you and find a giant mountain and… a mirror above it? What in the world could that be about? You’re gonna have to ask your spri...never mind. You’ll figure it out on your own. Your computer suddenly pings. That’s probably Osomatsu-niisan. It's probably a good idea to answer him. -- fappyGap [FG] began pestering moneyMeister [MM] at who knows what time -- FG: I’m back. MM: yeah good job MM: gluing together your little cube thing FG: Oh shut up. FG: Anyways, I need to go set up Ichimatsu now. I’ve left him hanging long enough. MM: yeah yeah MM: but hey MM: where are your consorts MM: were supposed to have them right FG: Now that you mention it, there’s nothing here but some plants and trees. MM: huh FG: Actually you know what I’m going to go outside for a bit. -- fappyGap [FG] ceased pestering moneyMeister [MM] at who knows what time -- You look up from your computer screen to exit the pharmacy. It’d be a good idea to get your bearings first, and then you’ll get right back to helping Ichimatsu. You turn around and go back inside, only to see something stand nearby the river. What’s that over there? Hmm...oh, it must be one of your new consorts! You quickly jog over to see what it is. Is it... …is that... Is that Jyushimatsu’s heirloom?! Why the hell is he even here??? You stare at each other for a few seconds before the...Hijirisawa? Yeah. Hijirisawa. Hijirisawa Shonosuke. You stare at each other before the Hijirisawa Shonosuke jumps into the river. You suddenly don't understand anything. In fact, you are currently casting sincere doubt on the laughable insinuation that you or anyone else ever actually did for even a single moment. Whatever. Time to get back to Ichimatsu. You’ve wasted enough time. You rush back into your office and quickly connect to Ichimatsu and start placing things down in your parents' house. Oh wait, he’s pestering you. Better see what he wants to say. -- fuckingFurry [FF] began pestering fappyGap [FG] at who cares about the time -- FF: oh wow. FF: you’re actually helping me now. FG: Yeah, ok, I’m sorry for leaving you hanging for so long, ok? FG: I’ll get you all set up as quickly as possible, so sit tight. FF: got it. FF: also don’t make a huge racket. FF: mom and dad are gonna wonder what’s going on. FG: Right, right. That’d be a good idea. FG: We can't have them flipping the fuck out right now. FF: as if you can talk. FF: you've been flipping your fucks like goddamn pancakes today. God that asshole is annoying. But no, you're going to be calm right now. No more fuck-flipping for you. Instead of chastising Ichimatsu for his asinine comment, you open up the inventory and place down the Pre-Punched Card along with the Totem Lathe and Cruxtruder. You then look around the room for something heavy you can use to eject Ichimatsu's Kernalsprite. You do not want to rip out anything that may cause a leak. Speaking of which, you’re going to have to patch up the damaged plumbing in the building you're in one of these days. But regardless, it's time to get back on track. You decide to look into your parents' living room and pick up a chair. Thank the Virgin God your father’s a bit too preoccupied with the televison screen to notice a floating chair behind him. You drag the chair upstairs and drop it onto the Cruxtruder and then quickly move your cursor to try and catch it before it lands. Somehow, that actually worked. You move the chair over in a corner to deal with later as you expand a wall and deposit the Alchemiter while Ichimatsu removes the Cruxite Dowel and begins carving it into a Totem. You suppose this is a good time to think about what to put into his sprite. FG: Hey Ichimatsu, what do you want to throw in the sprite? FF: don’t care. FF: throw in the chair for all i care. FG: Yes. Thank you. FG: That’s really helping us progress. FF: is that sarcasm? FF: i can't tell. FF: wait. FF: i just realized that i don't care. You pick up a random scarf from the floor. Maybe you can prototype the Kernalsprite with this. It’s not blue or sparkling, so at least Ichimatsu probably won’t object to it too much. Looking at it closer, is that…is that your Nyaa-chan scarf? OH, IT IS!!! FUCKING JACKPOT!!! You toss it into the sprite before realizing how your prototypings affect your underlings' appearences. You then remember you’ll have to fight imps influence from Pornsprite. You decide to initiate a HIGHLY DANGEROUS DOUBLE FACEPALM x2 COMBO. Whatever, what’s done is done. You watch as Nyaasprite comes into existence. CHOROMATSU: NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa she’s so great! You would love to switch places with Ichimatsu right now. Actually, speaking of Ichimatsu, he’s talking to Nyaasprite right now. You’re so jealous! Maybe you could pop by over there using the gates later and then meet her. But you've got to be careful, methodical. Start with your thoughts on her new single. Nonchalantly mention that you've reserved her new photobook, and throw your Tumblr URL into the conversation. Don't be pushy! Act appropriately distant, unlike those other fans. Make her feel like you really get her. Yes! Make her feel like you really understand her stress. There's nothing to fear; your plan is perfect! FF: choromatsu. FF: what the fuck. FF: why did you throw that dumb idol scarf in there. FG: NYAAAAAAAAA CHAAAAAAAAAN!!! FF: god fucking dammit. FG: SHE'S SO WONDERFUL. FG: NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FF: no. FF: stop. FF: i’m gonna just keep talking to her to get an idea of whatever the hell i’m supposed to do now. FF: since someone's being too much of a fappy bastard to do anything that isn't completely vomit-inducing. FG: I’M SO JEALOUS. FG: MY ASS HAIR IS ON FIRE. FG: Her divine visage glows with the beauty of 3000 suns. FF: fuck this. Oh, it seems that Ichimatsu’s gone into the group chat. FF: hey. FF: osomatsu. FF: you piece of shit. FF: get over here and restrain your client player. MM: what MM: im busy trying to help totty over here FF: he threw his stupid idol shit in my sprite. FF: he’s goddamn fangirling over it now. FF: blabbing about her “divine visage” or something. FF: just slap some sense into him. MM: yeah yeah ok i got you FG: NYAA-CHAN IS THE BEST. FF: fuck me. MM: lol i think ill pass You feel something poke into your face. It’s probably Osomatsu. You decide to ignore it for now and keep looking at Nyaa-chan. So pretty and wonderful, rivaled only by Totoko-chan! Ouch, something’s slapping your cheek. You turn around to swat whatever it is only to see a goddamned dildo dangling from the multicolored cursor in front of you. Screeching in horror, you quickly grab a random book nearby and proceed to smash it into the dumbass meddlesome cursor and fake-ass dick. After beating the vulgar object into oblivion while screaming at the top of your lungs, you switch over to pestering Osomatsu and slam your hand down on the keyboard rapidly. So much for keeping your fucks unflipped. -- moneyMeister [MM] began pestering fappyGap [FG] at lol insert time -- MM: hey MM: choromatsuuuuuu MM: how many times do i have to pokeHOOLYSHIT MM: nevermind MM: lmao you need to calm the fuck down FG: FRETGHFGFFGHTRHTUQETRYRJYNB C CB GNRJYMUKARY. FG: OSOMATSU-NIISAN. FG: WHAT THE FUCK. FG: WERE YOU THINKING. FG: OH WHO AM I FUCKING KIDDING. FG: YOU DON'T THINK. MM: are you sure you wont want that later FG: YOU KNOW WHAT. FG: YOU CAN GO FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW. FG: YOU SEE THIS PICTURE? YOU SEE IT? MM: wow lmao flipping the bird FG: THIS IS MY UNDYING RAGE FOR YOUR UNACCEPTABLE TOMFOOLERY. FG: NOT ONLY DO YOU FAIL TO TAKE THIS GAME SERIOUSLY. FG: BUT YOU ALSO INTENTIONALLY TRY TO FUCK IT UP. FG: You know how dangerous this game is. MM: lol MM: if you want help, perhaps you should elicit some profound wisdom from your wonderful sprite MM: who should have quite some expertise regarding your current dumbassery MM: ;) FG: You're impossible. FG: And it's "solicit", not "elicit". MM: ah MM: so elicit some profound wisdom MM: and get back to me once youve cooled down a bit -- moneyMeister [MM] ceased pestering fappyGap [FG] at lol insert time -- HE FUCKING LEFT. That petulant brat. You decide to not elicit some profound wisdom from your dumbass sprite and instead choose to- Ah hell, Ichimatsu's contacting you again. FF: hey. FF: if you’re done getting off, i need to get back to getting into the medium. FF: or i’m sorry, “The Medium”. FG: I’m sorry but I’LL NEED A MOMENT WITH OUR STUPID ELDEST BROTHER FIRST. You switch over to the group chat where everyone’s currently blathering away. Osomatsu’s talking. You are GOING TO GET HIM. MM: misson complete FF: perfect. HD: What the hell is going on…(・_・ヾ MM: just taking care of chorofappyski HD: What? FG: OSOMATSU-NIISAN. FG: YOU FUCKING BASTARD. FG: FUCKING FIGHT ME. HD: Oh my god. (－‸ლ) FF: oh hey he’s back. FF: and not slobbering over that idol. FG: NO SHIT. FG: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING. MM: i thought we just established that i dont think MM: do you have amnesia too MM: along with your severe case of royal tightass-itis HD: What the hell did you do? ��(ﾟﾍﾟ) MM: slapped him with a dildo ;) FF: perfect. HD: Oh dear god. FG: NOT PERFECT. FG: THAT IS FUCKING DISGRACEFUL. MH: OH, EVERYONE’S HAVING FUN OVER HERE!!!!! HD: Jyushimatsu-niisan, you might want to leave. (❁°͈▵°͈) FG: I WILL END YOU AND YOU WILL BE EXILED EVEN OUT OF HELL. FG: AND THEN I WILL END YOU. FG: AGAIN. FG: YOU WILL BE DOUBLE-DEAD. MM: lmao id like to see you try FG: FUCKING TRY ME. FG: I DARE YOU. FF: i have a cool cat toy you wanna see? MH: KITTY!!!!! HD: Yeah why the heck not. MM: why are you even so fired up about it -- fuckingFurry [FF] shared files -- HD: Ehhh, that’s pretty cool looking! (◕‿◕✿) FG: BECAUSE YOU FUCKING USED THE MOST OBSCENE THING YOU COULD HAVE. MH: IT’S SO INTRICATE!!!!! FF: i know, it’s pretty nice. PP: Hello, my dear brothers! I have finally finished carving my Cruxite Dowel, and I am currently engaged in the action of Alchemizing my Artifact. If I am not interrupting anything, may I inquire over what has occurred in my absence from our lovely gathering for conversation? MM: i mean you wouldnt listen to me MM: and you know ichimatsu asked me to “slap some sense into him.” MM: so i did FG: WITH A FUCKING DILDO. FG: YOU CHOOSE A FUCKING DILDO. FF: i didn't mean that literally you dumbass. MM: ;) PP:...Eh? HD: Karamatsu-niisan, you’re seeing this, right? PP: Yep. MH: AH. MH: BY THE WAY. MM: i mean what else am i going to use MM: your sprite spawns those things all over the place FG: And exactly WHOSE FAULT DO YOU THINK THAT IS?!?!?! -- muscleHustle [MH] shared files -- MH: EVERYONE SAY HI TO ESPKITTYSPRITE!!!!! HD: Ah, ESP Kitty! ( ・ ̫・) FF: nice. MM: lmao take a joke alexfapper graham bell FF: anyways i’m gonna go figure out what i need to do with this cat. FG: WHAT EVEN WERE YOU TRYING TO DO ANYWAYS. FG: DESTROY WHAT DIGNITY I HAVE LEFT??? FG: GIVE ME A BONER??? MH: I NEED TO ENTER THE GAME SOON TOO. HD: Idol otaku have their pride too, you know. MM: that was the plan MM: to give you a boner PP: Perhaps it’s a good idea to postpone our chatting to another time while we all try to enter The Medium in order to escape from our deaths. HD: Agreed. MM: and you got one -- fuckingFurry [FF] logged the fuck out -- -- heartlessDemon [HD] logged the fuck out -- FG: FUCK YOU. -- painfulPrat [PP] logged the fuck out -- -- muscleHustle [MH] logged the fuck out -- FG: I’M DONE. MM: lmao You turn away from your computer and slam your face into your desk. This is too tiring, go be someone else. You're too fed up to deal with anyone else's bullshit.