#FATHERHOOD COULD HAVE HEALED HIM JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE MY MAN DESERVES IT!

[thefallenangel2008]

I'm sorry, but the fact that Stan could have become just like his father but he still ended up being supporting and encouraging towards Mabel, Dipper, Soos and Wendy despite everything... I'm- I'm sorry but I love that man so much YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

[one-more-offbeat-anthem]

i only chose this because of you

jimmy novak character study for father’s day, 1.3k. read on ao3 here.

Everybody wants to be a father.

Oh, you don’t need children to be a father--you can parent a dream, you can foster hope, you can say a kind word to a lonely person.

There, you’re a father.

But Jimmy doesn’t believe this.

He’s unable to understand what his friends feel when they speak of marriage, of fatherhood, of new life in this world. He feels like something’s missing; is there something wrong with him, that prevents him from feeling this way, like he’s supposed to want all of these things?

When Jimmy meets Amelia, he doesn't love her immediately.

He likes her. A lot. But like is not love and so at first they are study partners, friends, each other’s ride homes. Then there are first kisses, first dates, and first fights. A first time, that they are both sure God will condemn.

But fire does not rain down upon them, and they live. Graduate. Marry. Buy a house.

He is not sure who he would have married if not her.

Because the others--no.

He has heard it enough at church, shouted from the pulpit. People like that will burn in the fire of hell.

Jimmy is safe with Amelia, and he is happy with Amelia.

But something is still missing.

------------------------------------

Two years later, Amelia gets pregnant.

For their families, it’s a great source of joy. A grandchild, a niece or nephew, someone to coddle and pin the Novak hopes and dreams onto.

It’s more complicated for them.

What their families do not know is the woe of many doctors appointments, of nurses’ worried expressions during sonograms, of medicine and praying and laying on of hands.

This child could die before they even get to meet her.

Jimmy’s relationship with God is tenuous--they used to be friends, Jimmy thinks, before people started telling him he was going to die in God’s name.

(If they did not know they were speaking to Jimmy--does that make it okay? No, he decides.)

But he needs something to believe in, so he prays anyways, and maybe God is listening at the time, because when their daughter is finally born, she is healthy. More importantly, she is alive, and that was all Jimmy had let himself hope for.

They name her Claire. It means bright and clear, and she is certainly a light in Jimmy’s life. He is beginning to understand those who want to be fathers--because there is no one more precious than Claire. The silence, the cavern inside of him, is deafening, but when he is with his daughter, in the late night hours in her nursery with a bottle, it feels a little bit fuller.

And Amelia is happy, with a child around.

So he has no choice but to smile.

------------------------------------

Amelia gets a job.

It’s at the library, and she loves it, wears cardigans and floral dresses and runs out the door, off to do something very important.

Jimmy sells ad time and he doesn’t love it at all. He feels lonely and like he’s not doing any good in the world by trying to get people to buy things. His God warns of overabundance, but Jimmy is empty most of the time. He lies awake at night, his wife asleep, Claire in the next room murmuring to her stuffed animals as she drifts into slumber.

Amelia’s job is less flexible than Jimmy’s, and so he begins to be the person who takes Claire everywhere. Dance recitals, soccer practice, school, friends’ houses...her car seat takes up permanent residence in the back of his car, the pockets of his trenchcoat filled with candy wrappers, tissues, rocks she found on the playground.

He learns how to dress her, and then how to argue with her about how he’s dressed her, how to plait her long, blonde curls. Claire is developing a personality--stubborn, funny, clever, curious.

Full of heart.

He loves her more each day, even as he slips away from this world, anchored only by her drawings from class on the fridge and her sparkly, light-up sneakers left right in front of the door.

Then the voice comes.

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The voice’s name is Castiel, and Castiel is an angel.

Jimmy hears Castiel only when he is alone--on the radio, in pictures on the television, or just in his head. Castiel tells him to do many things--prove your faith. Prove your strength. And Jimmy does them.

The things his pastors and fellow churchgoers have said must be done to prove one’s faith are far less painful than what Castiel asks of him. Castiel says there’s a task for Jimmy--that Jimmy is the only one who can do it. The hole inside him is starting to fill with echoes of the angel’s voice, night and day.

Claire notices nothing different--she still pulls him to her room to play with dolls, still shows him all her assignments from school. He puts her 100 on a math test on the fridge, stacks up her books for reading class. Bridge to Terabithia. Charlotte’s Web. The Westing Game. Kids sure talk a lot about death.

But Amelia notices, and she tells Jimmy’s doctor, but he doesn’t take the medicine.

Amelia thinks he’s slipping.

Jimmy thinks he’s better than ever.

When Castiel finally asks him if he can borrow Jimmy’s body and use it as a vessel, Jimmy only asks one question.

“Will my family be okay?”

Castiel promises yes.

So Jimmy replies in kind.

------------------------------------

For almost a year, Jimmy watches the world through the angel’s eyes. He hates and loves Castiel at the same time--for wearing his face, for wanting the Righteous Man, for saying to his daughter I am not your father.

He just hopes Claire is safe, like Castiel promised.

From inside his own skin he watches his hands smite and heal and hold and when he finally gets out and as himself meets the Winchesters, those for whom all this trouble was apparently worth, he vows never to go back.

It’s like being strapped to a comet, he tells them.

He gets to have dinner with Claire again.

Amelia is wary, and Jimmy understands. The angel has burned him, carved the hole wider instead of truly filling it, and Jimmy wonders: if this is an angel, what is God like? Where is He, if this is what is happening on His earth? Monsters and Lucifer and the apocalypse impending?

Jimmy cries over dinner, cannot pray. Not to God. Not to anyone. He is ready to return home, to hang up that trenchcoat--he is done traveling--and leave this behind. Leave saving the world to the Winchesters and their friends.

But instead a demon comes.

There is a scuffle, ropes and burning and Jimmy is nearly dead by the end of it all, delirious as his hair is smoothed back by his daughter, but it’s not his daughter.

“Your time is done,” the angel says.

Jimmy shakes his head. This can’t be how it ends--Claire doesn’t deserve to get her soul carved out, but Jimmy does, he’s already halfway there.

“Take me instead,” is what he says to the angel wearing his daughter’s face, but what he means is, let this not all be in vain. Let my last act be saving her. Let her live.

Castiel says Jimmy will die.

Jimmy says he knows this. He knows, deep inside, he was dead from the beginning. It just took some time to accept it.

The angel agrees to the deal, and Jimmy Novak is burned out from the inside, and is no more.

------------------------------------

Years later, in Heaven, a guest arrives, a woman who looks familiar, who has tears in her eyes, who rushes into his arms. His wife. Amelia. All he can ask is how is she? And Amelia tells him, she is beautiful. You would love her.

Jimmy does love her. That is why he did not watch her grow up.

[potatoqueensays]

Okay okay so I may have wrote an Irondad drabble. It's kinda like a character study or something, idk I just came up with it and was like yeah let's do this. I hope you enjoy!!

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My World Isn't Perfect Without You In It

3,004 words

It started as a simple feeling.

Tony was in his lab with Peter on one of their lab days, as they always were on Fridays. He would work with the kid after Happy picked him up and they would work on whatever their genius hearts desired.

Tony didn't really find himself looking at Peter with pride until Pepper pointed it out to him, she would comment on how he seemed like a Dad all of a sudden with the kid hanging around more.

He would always deny it with that Stark charm of his of course, deflecting was one of his main traits when it came to his feelings.

"Pep, motherhood may look nice on you, but fatherhood isn't kind for me you know." Flattery was said to get you places, but Pepper was known for never taking his BS.

"Tony, I can tell the way you look at him, you love him, whether you want to face it or not." She grinned at him, she was always right, even if he didn't like to admit it sometimes.

He thought back to her words frequently, picking up on how his heart swelled with pride and warmth when Peter looked at him for approval, or whenever he would get a question right, or even when Tony himself was having a bit of trouble with an equation, and he was Tony Stark, he could do anything!

The kid wormed his way into Tony's cold heart, thawed down his icy walls with a flamethrower and melted his heart into a puddle of goo.

The billionaire could never understand how he became so fond of the kid so quickly, but he always knew the reasons he liked the kid. He was so selfless, kind, and brave. A true hero at heart and much better than Tony even thought he would be, he was everything Tony wasn't and more.

He wasn't even jealous at the kid when he would steal the light, his own best friend becoming fond of the kid and mentioning how he was practically his kid.

"Platypus, he's not a Stark, in any way shape or form."

"He may not be blood related to you Tones, but he's your son in everything else, he has your brains even, maybe even smarter than you!" Rhodey teased.

"I'm wounded, Honey-Bear." He placed a hand over his heart in mock hurt.

"Oh hush, you know it better than anyone else."

And if he did, he would never say it up front.

He was proud of the kid even in his worst moments. He would try to console the kid when he came to him for help when close to a panic attack (which broke the hero's heart, the poor kid didn't deserve any of the unfair treatment the world had, it was too cruel for such a pure hearted kid like Peter.) or when he had a nightmare when staying over at the tower.

Tony wasn't always the most physically affectionate, he would give pats on the shoulder or back, arms around shoulders to keep the person close, and side hugs, even if he didn't do full ones.

When it came to Peter however, he slowly broke out of his shell of that. He kept a hand gently over the back of the boy's neck, sometimes playing with the curls that rested there, occasionally giving a reassuring squeeze when Peter seemed a bit nervous or highstrung. It always got rid of a little of his own stress when the boy would lean into his touch, side hugs and pats on the shoulder were gladly accepted.

Even the occasional hand holding when the kid was kept in the med-bay after a stressful mission or patrol, he would keep his hand over the boy's pulse point to reassure himself that the kid was alive and well. He would keep one hand over the kid's wrist while he worked on his suit, improving how he could make sure the current problems never happened again, whether it be even a scratch or a stab wound, he wouldn't let Peter get hurt on his watch.

He would always keep an eye on the kid, letting Peter know that he could call whenever he felt he needed something, maybe even just to chat, the billionaire found himself even endeared to the chatter that came from the spider-kid, it was a nice comforting constant to fill the silence in his life, even if he worked in his suits with FRIDAY blasting AC/DC, he seemed to have a better preference for the chatty kid. He would invest himself in listening to what happened in his day, to what him and Ted did over the week, and even hearing about how Aunt May burned water when trying to boil pasta.

He was fond of the kid, the feeling that was so simple at the start but steadily increasing over time and getting fiercer and stronger with each visit to the med-bay or after every movie night that eventually had the boy cuddled up to him. It grew into a surge of protectiveness, a very parental feeling and yearning to make his the kid happy.

So yeah, he was fond.

He was in too deep, as he wanted the kid by his side for as long as he could have him in fact, he begun to realize that yeah, he liked the kid and was fond of his company, but even more so.

He loved the kid.

He loved Peter.

Tony had a crisis when he was having a revelation about his feelings towards the younger hero.

He felt parental, even if he kept denying the fact when everybody knew how he felt before himself. Even if he tried to hide his grin whenever the kid's smile lit up a room, even if he kept rolling his eyes affectionately and ruffled the kid's curls when they bantered.

So yeah, he loved him.

Loving was dangerous however, loving got you in difficult situations where you don't think and sometimes your actions get out of hand with how much you care.

He cared about Peter with his iron heart, he cared about the boy so loudly in fact it would almost creep those three words up into his throat when he loved too fiercely with kid.

That's how he found himself in a very dangerous situation.

Peter was hurt, badly.

And it was his fault because he loved him, he was someone he got too close to and now it was his fault.

He stayed too close even when he should have remained at arms length, but the kid had to get close.

The bullet was supposed to be for Tony, not Peter, but the kid saw it coming from a mile away and pushed the iron clad man away from the aim of fire and taking the punishment with all the confidence of a self sacrificing idiot.

Peter was laid up in the med-bay as Cho and her helpers ran around to try and nurse the kid, while Tony was trapped in his own mind with how much he let Peter get too close, how he didn't notice that the kid obviously loved him too, so much in fact that he took a bullet for him, when Tony specifically told him not to if something like that happened.

He couldn't find it in his heart to be angry at the kid, no matter how much he wanted to be, he wanted to scream and shout and punch the walls, blame the universe for giving him someone so precious and kind that he would ruin completely, to rip apart a kid's life. It was his fault that the kid was by his side now, wanting to be an avenger because he took him to Germany just to win a fight against his own team, his own family. Or what he thought was.

He was pushed out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder, Rhodey's comforting voice making it's way to the man in armor, ridding him of the terrible thoughts and guilt that went through him.

"He'll be okay Tones, he's tough, he can handle it, he always does." Rhodey reasoned, trying to take Tony down from his tower of guilt.

"But he shouldn't have to."

"He did what he did because he cares, I know you would do it in a heartbeat if he was the one about to be shot."

"Because that's how it should be, I'm the adult, and he's the kid. He's just a child, Rhodey, a child." The older hero sighed, his face visible as his helmet was open, anyone could easily see his terror and distress. He tried to tear his eyes away from the frittering med staff, but he could only think of Peter. His Peter. His self sacrificing kid that he loved too much, and now it had gotten him hurt, the panic gripping his chest like a vice and not letting go as he feared what worse could have happened to his kid.

"Listen, he'll be okay, I know it." There was no room for argument with his tone, even if Tony wanted to, he needed to be at Peter's bedside, he was always there no matter what, even if he was mad or trying not to think about his guilt, the boy's presence always seemed to calm him.

The hero sighed softly, nodding even though panic rested comfortably in his chest.

He had cleaned himself up after the fight, after seeing Peter taken away from his side as he bled out and was in pain, even under the mask for the spider-suit, Tony could tell by the way the white eyes of the mask were pinched. It haunted him how he thought of Peter's bambi eyes shining with unshed tears and pain under that mask, those bright doe eyes filled with innocence and brilliance.

He remained stationary by the kid's bedside as he was finally left alone in his room, his accelerated healing luckily used in this moment. Helen had said the bullet hadn't hit any major arteries or organs, so that was a plus, but it still was agonizing to think of the boy in any sort of pain, or to even think of Peter leaving his side. If that happened, he didn't know what he would do. If he didn't have Pepper he would certainly lose it.

He just loved the kid too much to let him suffer.

He had his Stark-Pad resting in his lap as he held onto Peter's wrist, the feeling of the pulse underneath his fingers much more reassuring than the beep of the heart monitor. He kept his eyes focusing back between the notes he had down for what he could improve on Peter's suit and on the kid himself, eyeing his chest to check his breathing and checking the face of the boy in case he was going to wake up anytime soon.

He looked at the features of the boy, taking in the curls swept over his forehead, they were always gelled back no matter how much Tony joked about it. He never had a problem with it, but it was always pleasing to know how the boy liked a hand combing through his curls, whether it be his aunt to Tony himself. His face always bright with a smile that reached to his chocolate doe eyes, shining with talent and excitement for everything and anything. From Star Wars to how the Iron Man suit worked, he was always so smart and inquisitive. The boy was a ray of sunshine in Tony's bleak life. Yes he had Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy, he loved them all to bits and they made his life so much better, but loving Peter was different. He was his son in everything but blood, and that didn't even matter. He was a bright light that warmed up even the coldest of hearts, thawing right through to make anyone wrapped around his little finger.

Tony loved him.

He realized he was looking too much at the boy and swiftly changed to reading the schematics of the spider-suit, although he didn't read far when he heard a small sigh coming from in front of him. He looked up to see those bright and beautiful doe eyes looking up at him with that same amount of adoration that made Tony's heart want to burst, he didn't deserve the kid in the slightest, but here he was with him.

"Good afternoon, bambi." He said softly, aware of how Peter was sensitive his surroundings after waking up in the med-bay, the lights always at a dimmer power than normal to accustom to the spider-boy.

"Hi Mstr' Strk'." The boy slurred, still tired from just waking up and having pain reducing drugs in his system. The man carefully let go of the boy's wrist to hit the button that alerted Helen that her patient was awake, he almost missed the small whine that came from the younger hero at the loss of contact, it cut right through his heart.

"I'm here kiddo, don't worry." He held onto the boy's wrist again, fingers resting over the pulse point with quick muscle memory at this point.

"M' srry.." The boy mumbled, relaxing slightly as he registered the touch again, wide bambi eyes drooping sightly in relief.

"What are you sorry for, kiddo?" The man wondered. Peter always apologized, whether it be for something as small as dropping a pencil or bumping into a dog. He had such good manners.

"Ar' you mad a' me?" The boy's speech improving only a little as his enhanced metabolism burned through the painkillers.

Ah, so that explains it, he was worried the billionaire was mad at him. He gently rubbed a circle into the boy's wrist with his hand, comforting the kid into relaxing and not stressing when he needed to heal and get rest.

The man softly sighed and put the Stark-Pad away on the side table, scooting a little closer to the cot as he could look the kid better in the eye.

"No bud, I'm not mad, anymore. But you worried me a lot, I have a heart condition you know." He moved his free hand to go over the boy's front curls that hung in front of his eyes, getting to see those baby browns even better as the kid leaned into the soft touch.

"I knda' had to, you'd do it too.." The kid had a point, as it was similar to Rhodey's, even Pepper would say something like that, and she was always right, so that had to mean that Rhodey and Peter were too.

"That's different Pete. You're a kid and I'm an adult, we seniors kinda have to take the bullet. Figuratively and literally." He chided gently.

The boy let out a small huff of frustrated air, which was absolutely adorable as his nose scrunched up and he eyed Tony with what was presumably a glare that equalled the look of a puppy.

"But we gotta prtect' each other, otherwise you'd get hurt much worse." He brought up matter of factly.

"Well, maybe that's a risk I gotta take for spider-babies like you." Tony provided ruefully.

"Nt' a baby."

Well you're my spider-baby. He almost wanted to say.

Luckily he was saved by Helen Cho coming in to do a small checkup on Peter, looking over his vitals and smiling softly at her patient.

"Hello Peter, how are you feeling? Any pain?" She eyed over her clipboard presumably to check over his vitals and wounds again, being very perceptive to how Peter responded.

"M' fine, jus' a little sore." At that, Helen nodded and worked on administering a little medicine into his system, making the boy sigh gratefully at that. Both Cho and Tony knew when Peter said he felt a little pain it meant more than he played it as.

"I'll be back in a couple more hours, get some rest okay?"

Peter nodded at that and watched as she left the room, now alone with his father figure mentor once again. He looked over at Tony with a dopey smile, looking very tired now, he was bound to fall asleep. He sightly tugged on the man's arm, they both know that was to invite the man to cuddle, which they never brought up out loud, but they both knew the other enjoyed it greatly. It helped assure Tony that Peter was safe and there, while Peter got comfort and protection.

The man sighted good-naturedly as he stood up to get beside Peter.

"Alright alright, scoot over, this isn't gonna be nice on my back later." He joked. Although he said that, he would gladly take a little pain if it meant having Peter safe in his arms.

The boy obeyed and scooted over quickly, allowing Tony to climb in and get comfy, then let out a small "oof" as the kid rested his head on his shoulder and clung like a koala.

The man chuckled, a hand coming up to cradle the boy's head and play with his curls, knowing that helped Peter sleep much faster.

"Okay cuddle-bug, you heard her. It's nap time."

"Nt' a bug." Peter mumbled, blissfully unaware how Tony's heart practically melted with how easy Peter fit in his arms. He was so small. They were like two pieces of a puzzle, father and son, mentor and mentee. They belonged together and they wouldn't have it any other way as they needed the other.

"Right, arachnid." Tony corrected himself, hiding his grin in the kid's hair as Peter let out a pleased hum, slowly drifting off to sleep.

"Night." Peter mumbled, slowly lulled to sleep by the soft rumbling of the older hero's chest as he responded in kind.

"Goodnight bambino." He mumbled, pressing a small kiss to the boy's hair as they soon both drifted off to sleep.

Yeah, Tony loved him, and he needed him in his life like Peter needed him.

Thank you to @polaroid15 for reading this before hand and your lovely comments!! 🥺♥️

[poodlejoonas]

Dad!BC AU - before and after

Because I’m feeling so soft tonight, I wanna share my thoughts on the guys before and after they become dads. Everyone knows that kids change people, but sometimes the change is nice and wholesome. 

I blame Joel and his sentimental edgy ass for that post on Instagram earlier.

(Under the read-more for length)

As the first dad of the group, Joonas was terrified of what the change would bring for him and Kirsten. He knew he would make his mistakes and he dreaded the day they would come. He was afraid that he was too immature to be a father - he read the comments online about him as a punk, about his Danish girlfriend who could barely read the hate comments written about her, and about their baby and how so many people “wished the poor girl luck” in dealing with a childish father like him. On top of that, Kirsten’s parents were begging her to leave Finland and him so they could help raise Sohvi because they thought they could do a better job than him. He was motivated to become the best dad he could be to prove them all wrong, but also to give his daughter the best life she deserved. He admits to his mistakes in the early days of fatherhood - he knows he should have been kinder to Kirsten when she was struggling mentally as a new mom.

Years later, with their third child on the way, the first two are a little bit older and they adore the hell out of their dad. Sohvi loves music like him and unapologetically stands her ground on the things she believes in. Lukas is a cannonball of a personality who loves the ice and playing hockey as much as his cousin Enkka. And the youngest of the Porkos, Jakob (aka “Jaska”) grows up to enjoy the softer things in life - reading, baking, knitting, and cuddling on a lazy day. Even through his busy schedule, he makes time to make memories with each of them in a way that matters to them - jamming out with Sohvi, skating with Lukas, and reading bedtime stories to Jaska. They all take his punk attitude, the very thing that many people used to discount his abilities to raise one child, let alone three. His family is perfect, and he realizes now that he had nothing to fear when he held his daughter for the first time.

--

Joel had never given the thought of a family of his own much consideration. He was too busy being a rock star and conquering the world, and he was afraid of what the change after having a kid would look like for him. He wanted to be happy for Joonas when he told the group in Rotterdam that he was going to be a dad, but he was afraid of losing his best friend to an uncertain future. He grew to love his niece, after some time and a little bit of effort on his part, but he still thought they just weren’t for him.

When he went out on a blind date with Emilia Peltonen months later, he wasn’t expecting it to go anywhere from there. But she gave him a second chance, and a third, and so on, until they were finally living together. Milli finally asked him what he thought of the idea of having kids, and he thought he needed “some time” to think on it. It took him all of about 12 hours to make up his mind, but they waited almost a full year before they were finally successful. In that time, he asked her to marry him, regardless of whether a baby would even come along. Still, he had his doubts about his own abilities to give his son a happy life - he was impatient and snappy, his mental health would fall apart some days, he was never the most affectionate person. And yet, none of that matters to little Viktor; Joel is his idol and, in his mind, he’s the coolest guy on Earth and he wants to be just like him someday. He teaches Enkka to skate and fosters his love for hockey and music. When Enkka needs a hug, either when he’s sleepy or he just woke up from a bad dream, he knows his dad will be there to catch him. So many people love to see that he went from being a dark edgelord online with a pessimistic sense of humor, to being the best dad and husband of their group whose public presence is covered with the signs of his pride in his family. Joel’s transformation surprised so many people, but the change was a welcome sight.

--

(TW: mention of miscarriage)

Niko wanted to be a dad from the beginning. When he dated Jenna in high school, the hopeless romantic in him dreamed of their little family and the future they would build together. He was devastated when they went their separate ways, thanks to their very different paths in life. He gave up on his dream of their little ones, until they crossed paths again. He knew he would be a fool to give up his second chance. He was overjoyed to learn that Jenna was pregnant with their first child; unlike the first two dads, he had no fears in the back of his mind that he would be a good one. As soon as he stepped into his house, he turned off the rock star Niko the world sees, and became Leevi’s dad and Jenna’s husband with every ounce of his being.

They made a promise to each other: when Leevi says his first word, it’s time for baby number two. Blissfully unaware of his parents’ plan to give him a sibling, Leevi watched Rommi walk by and blurted out his first word: kissa! Within two months, they were expecting their daughter to round out their little family. Lahja Rose was born the next February, two weeks past her original due date. Her father was a little heartbroken - she was supposed to be born on his birthday, hence the name Lahja (“gift”). But he was happy to finally have his little Rose to pay tribute to his favorite film (even if people made their fair share of jokes about it). They hit their first real snag as a family when, between 6 and 11 months, Lahja lived with on/off inner ear infections. Her parents did everything they could to help relieve her pain, eventually opting for surgery to fix it. Niko was a wreck for the full five months, refusing to leave his family’s side and being more than willing to fight anyone who disrespected his decision to have privacy with his family. Niko helped Jenna through the painful process of losing what would have been their third child. They mourned, they healed, and they decided that they were at peace just having their two.

--

Olli wanted to be a dad, but he was terrified when he learned he had two on the way. Kaarina wanted to laugh at his adorkable response to the news - “count them again” - but she knew his fears were valid. She’d known this man since they were children, and his response to the news was typical of him as an anxious mess under his cool and seemingly collected personality. Her fears were the same; after all, she had no idea what changes were to come for her health. But both girls had a hold on his heart long before they were even born. Olli was willing to do anything to make Riina and the twins feel comfortable until their arrival a week before Christmas. The moment Elina was placed in his arms and he saw the way Elisabet fit in Riina’s, he wondered where those fears even belonged now.

Well... just a little more than three months later, when he was convinced he’d gotten his wife pregnant again, Olli was rightfully scared shitless. He loved his girls, but he couldn’t have three kids before the first two even celebrated their first birthday. Having narrowly dodged that nightmare, he took all the next steps to ensure that it never happened again. He was happy with his two, and so was Riina. The Matelas spend their summers at their beach home, the twins developing as much of a love for the ocean as him. They wear the best coordinated outfits - but not matching though, Olli and Riina want them to maintain their own personality outside of being twins. He’s more than happy to let them put a tiara on him and invite him to their “garden tea party” in their shared room. It was tough at first, but he soon became a master of carrying one in each arm while they felt tall and safe with him. But he can be a bit strict with them sometimes; he loves them, but he doesn’t want them to follow in his footsteps as a rock star. He knows it can be difficult and fun, but he doesn’t want his daughters to fall victim to the lifestyle. And yet, Elisabet was determined to forge her own path in music, while Elina took to the ice like Lukas and Enkka as a figure skater. There was no use in trying to stifle their dreams. Olli’s proud of his girls, and he’s always wanted them to be happy.

--

Tommi’s family came pre-started. He was introduced to Marja Oksanen, a single mom to a young son who escaped a dangerous relationship with the father of her child. She was afraid that learning about her son would drive him away, that he wouldn’t bother with a single mom if she couldn’t put their relationship first. But Tommi loved this woman already, and someday he was sure he would love her son. He had his reasons to be wary around the boy since he’d never had a father figure in his life (outside of his Uncle Niko for the year or so that Marja and Miikka lived with him and Jenna). He let Miikka accept him first, and he waited for his cue before he grew into his role as his step-dad.

He readily agreed when Marja asked him if he wanted a baby with her (or “another cub” to fit the bear theme they adopted for their family). Tommi would have been happy to have several cubs with her. But when her pregnancy with Anna left her on constant bed rest and their daughter was born a month earlier than she should have, he couldn’t put her through that stress again. Marja’s health mattered more than the thought of a large family. Besides, he was more than happy with “Baby Bear” (Miikka) and “Cub” (Anna), because despite the fact that Miikka was not his son by birth, he was his son by love. And he was willing to defend that from anyone who dares to insult their family dynamic. Tommi is a master of being a dad; his energy calms both kids down when they’re stressed or in need of some love and understanding. It’s not an uncommon sight to see him with one on either side of him as the three of them relax in his recliner. So many people know Tommi as a man with a tough exterior, who doesn’t let his emotions show, doesn’t talk much, and doesn’t garner much attention in a room. But Tommi with his children is a different person altogether. He shares a side of him that belongs to his family.

--

As the last to become a dad, Aleksi had a wealth of experience to rely on when he needed help with his son. He made the difficult decision to voluntarily become a single dad when his ex-girlfriend Laila expressed zero desire to become a mother. He endured so much stress and heartache in the process, from Laila dragging him in the media over his decision to announce the pregnancy to being banned from Noah’s birth altogether. He first laid eyes on Noah when he was just under an hour old, having only been held by the nurses who prepared him to meet his father. He spared no expense in spending two nights in the hospital with him in a suite, even when Laila had long checked out and left without saying goodbye to either of them.

He felt a twinge of shame when he accepted help from Joonas in taking care of his son. He wanted to do it by himself and prove that he could be a good dad alone. But having a village of friends behind him helped ease him into everything that fatherhood would throw at him. When Noah is diagnosed on the autism spectrum when he’s three, Aleksi immediately learns everything he can to understand his son better. He becomes his biggest defender when people try to push him out of his comfort zone, telling him that they can respect his decision to wear his noise-cancelling headphones when he needs them or they can leave both of them alone. He learns sign language to communicate with Noah whenever he goes mute and he shows solidarity when Noah stims in public. He stays out of the dating scene for years to stop a revolving door of strangers from coming around his son who is shy around new people and lives with separation anxiety from losing his mother at a young age. But Hanna Laaksonen was the perfect exception, as a child psychologist with a Master’s degree in early childhood development. The rest of his friends watched as Aleksi fell in love with her and as Noah began to call her Mom. Still, Aleksi always put Noah first, the same as he always had, and Hanna respected that fact.

[hailing-stars]

@febuwhump day 20: betrayal  don’t say clown

summary

“You’d be dramatic too if you were about to get your teeth stolen and ripped from your mouth,” says Peter, shoving his phone in his pocket.

“Uh, ripped is not exactly what happens, and no I wouldn’t,” says Tony. “And I didn’t. As you constantly like to remind me, I’m a dinosaur. I’ve already had the privilege of having my wisdom teeth taken out.”

Peter huffs and digs his back further into the seat, as if he wants to disappear into it. “But do I really need to get it done today?”

“Do you want to be in pain when they start growing in?”

“No but-”

“Then yes.”

OR

Tony tricks Peter into actually attending his appointment to get his wisdom teeth removed, after him bailing several times. 

Tony feels a sharp pang of guilt as he turns the car into the parking lot of an oral surgeon’s office. Peter’s face is still buried in his phone, so he’s got a little time before the gremlin discovers his fate and tries pulling out the puppy dog eyes.

But it isn’t long enough.

He parks the car, and Peter jerks head up from his phone. His eyes go wide as he reads the letters printed across the giant, glass double doors. “This is betrayal, Mr. Stark. Betrayal of the highest order.”

“Dramatic, much?” asks Tony, shutting off the car.

“You’d be dramatic too if you were about to get your teeth ripped from your mouth and stolen,” says Peter, shoving his phone in his pocket.

“Uh, ripped is not exactly what happens, and no I wouldn’t,” says Tony. “And I didn’t. As you constantly like to remind me, I’m a dinosaur. I’ve already had the privilege of having my wisdom teeth taken out.”

Peter huffs and digs his back further into the seat, as if he wants to disappear into it. “But do I really need to get it done today?”

“Do you want to be in pain when they start growing in?”

“No but-”

“Then yes.”

“They probably don’t even have an aesthetic strong enough to put me under.”

“They don’t,” says Tony. “Which is why I rented out the office today and paid the Avengers medical staff to assist. They have the good stuff Brucie invented.”

“Okay, but I have school -”

“-May’s already told the school you’ll be out a couple days.”

“You guys are awful,” says Peter. He unbuckles his seatbelt, and Tony knows that means Peter’s out of his excuses and arguments. All he has left is whining and pouting. “You could’ve given me a heads up.”

“Sure,” says Tony. “And then you would have conveniently disappeared and missed your appointment, like the last three times.”

“I see your point,” says Peter. “But to be fair the last time was a real emergency. The lizard guy almost destroyed me and MJ’s favorite coffee place.”

“Why does every person who fights you have a ridiculous name?”

“I’m called Spider-Man. I’m kind of asking for something ridiculous.”

“That explains it,” says Tony, with a nod of his head. In full agreement.

The conversation stalls, and Peter looks truly miserable. Another pang of guilt ripples through Tony, though he knows it isn’t logical. It’s better for Peter to get this over with, rather than wait, but there’s something written across the boy’s face that gives him pause.

“Okay, let’s talk about it,” says Tony. “Why all the avoidance?”

“I dunno,” says Peter.

“Perfectly natural to be afraid -”starts Tony.

“-I’m not afraid,” says Peter. “I just don’t wanna be out of commission for days while I recover. It’s so boring.”

“You’ll likely be medicated so I don’t see you having enough coherency to be bored.”

“That’s worse,” mutters Peter.

“If it makes you feel any better,” says Tony. “You’ll probably be healed up and ready to hit the skies as Spider-Man by morning, with your healing factor.”

Relief washes across Peter’s face, but it’s there only seconds before it’s replaced by another perplexing frown. This time it’s better. This time Tony doesn’t have to pry to get his answers.

“...You’re gonna stay here?” asks Peter. “While I’m… out?”

“Yep,” says Tony. “Pepper made me bring a bunch of SI stuff I’ve been neglecting.”

Peter swallows. “And you’ll be there? When they knock me out?”

“Knocking you out is a harsh way to put it,” says Tony, with a frown. “But yeah, if you want me there.”

“It’s just - I dunno, what if I don’t wake up for another five years?” asks Peter. “And the world passes me by again?”

“I’d never let that happen,” he tells him immediately, and with confidence he doesn’t understand.

Tony’s seen enough tragedy in his lifetime to doubt he’d have control over a situation like that, but the words had come automatically, and they seem to smooth the worry creases on Peter’s face.

“Ready?” he asks him.

“Yeah,” sighes Peter. He grips the door handle and pops it open. “Let’s just get it over with.”

Tony follows through with his promise. He’s there when the medical staff inserts the needle into Peter’s arm. He holds his hand, tells him he’ll see him in a few hours, and watches as Peter’s scared, lost eyes slip shut.

His anxieties catch him by surprise. Seeing Peter lose consciousness like that brings him back to Titan, and although he allows staff to shuffle him out of the operation room, his fears beg him to stay, as if holding onto Peter's hand will keep him from dissolving back into dust.

*

Tony doesn’t concentrate on the work Pepper had given him.

His mind terrorizes him with illogical fears and his leg starts bouncing.

There isn’t a sturdy thought for his mind to dwell on, so it’s like his mind is swimming through varied traumatizing outcomes to Peter’s very common procedure. He’s like that the entire time they’re extracting the kid’s wisdom tooth, and he’s mentally berating himself about forcing Peter to go through with it.

And then the nurse pops her head out of the door. Tells him that it’s fine. That he should go on back to the operation room, because Peter’s about to wake up.

Tony holds his hand again, and Peter’s eyes flutter open. They’re dazed and confused, but still hold that soulful Peter Parker look inside them, so Tony breathes.

Something inside him snaps back into place. Something’s been corrected and healed.

“Hey, kid, you’re back,” he says. He squeezes his hand.

“‘Ony.”

“How’re you feeling?”

“I don’t like it,” says Peter.

He wrangles around in the dentist chair, and Tony puts a hand on his chest. It’s enough to stop him, at least while Tony takes instructions from the oral surgeon, and collects Peter’s super special painkillers.

“Okay, ready to go?”

Peter slowly nods his head, and Tony wraps an arm around his back, helping him to sit up without the help of the dentist chair. Tony helps him swing his legs over the stand of the chair, and does most of the work transferring him to a wheelchair provided by the staff.

It’s the same once they get outside and it’s time for Peter to leave the wheelchair and climb into the car.

Tony offers his arm, and Peter uses it as a guide and as a way of lifting himself from the chair. Tony doesn’t let him go, keeping his hands firmly locked on his arms until he’s sitting in the passenger’s side seat, looking every bit like the lost Golden Retriever puppy he’d once tried convincing Tony to home.

He takes the wheelchair back inside and quickly zips back to his vehicle, climbing into the driver’s seat.

“You left me,” Peter accuses, as Tony sits behind the wheel.

Tony starts the engine and switches the air on. “I wasn’t even gone a minute.”

“Felt like an eternityyyy,” says Peter. He lets his head rest against the window. “Don’t like feeling this floaty. Like I’m in IT and the clown’s got me.”

“Don’t say clown.”

“Clown,” says Peter, defiant even in his drugged state. “You’ll float too, Tony.”

“Okay, clearly it was a mistake to let you watch that movie.”

“Maybe they should’ve stolen Pennywise’s teeth,” says Peter. “Dentists could’ve ended that movie before it started.”

Tony laughs, and the smile’s still on his face while he watches Peter try and fail to insert the end of the seatbelt into the connector. After a couple more misses, Tony takes over and buckles him in.

“Can’t even stop making movie references when you’re dopey, you fiend.”

Peter lets out a noise that’s between a growl and a whine.

“Which is good,” says Tony. “We can watch lots of movies while your gums stitch themselves back together.”

“Yeeesssss,” says Peter. “I love movies.”

“I know, kid.”

“We gotta watch IT.”

“Okay, veto,” says Tony. Knowing the type of villains Spider-Man attracted, Tony’s convinced it isn’t long before his kid is facing off against a serial killing monster clown. He doesn’t want to tempt the fates. “How about something nicer-”

“Ohh, the one with the dinosaurs,” says Peter. “What’s it called…” He trailed off, lost in thought, and Tony imagines those drugs must be strong if the kid’s forgetting movie facts. “Jurassic Park!”

An image pops into his head of Peter fighting an actual dinosaur, and he begins to wonder if fatherhood was going to ruin movies for him. Damn kids.

“I want a red balloon,” says Peter, out of nowhere.

“Pete,” says Tony, with a breath. “Please move on from IT.”

“But I’m floaty.”

“How about a sit-com,” offers Tony. “Nothing bad ever happens in a sit-com.”

Tony wishes life were that way, that he could move his family inside of a bubble that he controlled and where nothing could touch them.

“Okay,” he agrees. “As long as I can still have a balloon. I went to the dentist. I deserve a balloon.”

“Fine, but it’s not going to be red,” says Tony. He lets himself be consumed by hatred for this fictional clown for stealing his signature color.

He pulls the car out of the parking lot, and just before he turns onto the street and joins traffic, he notices Peter’s eyes fluttering closed.

“Tony,” says Peter, voice quiet and dazed. “Thanks for being here, you know, when I came back.”

He doesn’t know whether Peter means after his surgery, or after he was stitched back together from dust. He decides he must mean both.

“Of course, Pete,” says Tony. “Thanks for coming back.”

Peter flashes him a grin, before nodding off, and warmth fills Tony’s chest. So live isn’t a sit-com, but in that moment, everything was great and for now, it’s enough.

[renaroo]

Thinking Positive

Disclaimer: Doom Patrol and associated characters are the creative property of DC Comics Warnings: internalized homophobia, depression Rating: T Synopsis: In order to heal, Larry will have to work on being more positive. It’s a long and difficult journey. 

A/N: I watched Doom Patrol last year and to say I loved it would be a major understatement. But the thing that took me by surprise the most was just how meaningful Larry Trainor’s story was to me, someone who also grew up surrounded by a lot of homophobia and feels like openly living with pride is still a difficult and ongoing struggle into my adulthood. 

And with global quarantine being what it is, I’ve had a lot of strange and curious time on my hands to work on things so far as mental health is concerned. And it’s had me thinking a lot about how sometimes negativity and cyncism is a coping mechanism that’s easy to use but damaging in the long run. I tend to take that perspective away from Larry’s story rather than the way the show sometimes dismisses valid personal fears of outing and shames closeting. So this rambling story came barreling out of me. I hope it makes some sense. 

Larry dismissed himself from dinner with the rest of Doom Manor’s residents.

It didn’t take much more than some dismissive words on his part, easily ignored over the rambunctious antics of Jane and Cliff, or the attempts to quell said antics by Vic and Flex. Rita was the most difficult to escape, considering Larry was her main outlet for commentary, but even she was willing to let him go when he stressed that he was tired.

He had tired rather easily over the last few months, and Rita knew why even more than the others.

In some ways, it was like therapy. In other ways, it was like torture. But that had always been Larry’s dilemma. He was rarely allowed to have one over the other.

Even before the Negative Spirit melded to his very soul.

When Larry attempted to frame his fears in less selfish designs, he framed his need for more energy as being there for the others. Cliff needed to have someone counter his gutsier instincts. Jane’s sarcasm needed someone equally verbose in it. And Rita, of course, counted on Larry’s counsel more than anyone’s. But it was easier, lately, with each other, with the others like Vic and Flex and even Dorothy, young in appearance and still finding her place as she was.

Besides all that, Larry had made a promise to himself that he wasn’t going to blame his reluctance on others anymore.

Which led to the closing of the thick lead door behind Larry. The slow removal of his protective bindings as the Richter scale crackled in the decompression port. The daily walk through his metal room and his radiation proofed furniture.

It was funny to think that his room had changed so little from the minimal aesthetic it had when the Chief first offered him a place nearly half a century ago. Funny, but also uncomfortable. Like it was wrong and stupid of him, but it had been so long that it would be weirder if Larry attempted to make any big changes.

He laid down on his bed and made himself comfortable, his hands rested over his chest, close to his heart.

Larry gazed at the ceiling and felt the rumbles deep in his body which let him know that the spirit was aware of what time it was.

“Hey there, buddy,” Larry said, voice low and tired. “It’s that time again. The one where I try to get stuff off my chest.” His hands tapped rather nervously over his shirt. It was light enough that the nerve damage kept the tips of his fingers from truly feeling more than the slight pressure of it. “Literally.”

For the life of him, Larry couldn’t figure out why he always started out so nervous and uncomfortable every day.

Then again, Larry had lived his entire life nervous and uncomfortable. It was hard to break habits formed over a century, he supposed.

“Okay, well, here goes nothing,” Larry sighed, closing his eyes and preparing himself. Idioms aside, it did not feel like nothing, it felt like everything every time.

“Start from the top? Positive things?” Larry asked out loud. With his eyes closed, the rumble from the negative spirit felt even stronger, more enthusiastic perhaps. “Of course, you eat those up. Alright.

”Today my azaleas began to bloom early. I got some rhododendron seeds in the mail. Chief is offering to get me a new greenhouse on the property, to expand things. Dorothy made me a flower crown. She didn’t use any of my flowers. I think she used paper and then with her, ah, powers turned them into real flowers. Usually, her using her powers is disturbing, like the whole thing with the puppets. But this was, you know, cute. I liked it. I mean it’s quicker to use a Snapchat filter, but…”

The negative spirit rumbles more abruptly. It gives Larry a sense of warning or disapproval.

“I know, I know, staying positive,” he sucks in a deep breath. It’s the sort of deep, lung filling breath that he’s only capable of thanks to the negative spirit’s possession of him. Their temporary separation reminded him of that. That, however, was an unspoken positive between them.

“I tried a new recipe, everyone seemed to enjoy it,” Larry continued. “It’s curried roasted eggplant with smoked cardamom and coconut milk.” He couldn’t resist the huff of a laugh that escaped him as a result. “Sheryl would’ve never believed it.”

There was a numbness that spread out from his chest. It was an overwhelming sense, but Larry considered it a good development.

He and the Negative Spirit both took a long time to have a response to his ex-wife being invoked that was anything other than overwhelmingly negative.

Still, it was best to trade subjects and not linger on old regrets. As natural as it was for Larry to do that.

“With all the new residents, this place has really gotten lively,” he said, arching his neck back more comfortably on the pillow. “I know I’ve let you out a few times to explore that for yourself, but you probably miss a lot of the little things.”

A gentle hum radiated out from his chest. Positive? Affirmation? Larry was still deciphering the finer bits.

“It’s good for all of them,” Larry concluded. “They fit together well. Well, not fit. The whole point of this place is that fitting is…”

He trailed off, catching his own turn toward negativity long before the spirit had a chance to disrupt him.

“It’s nice, seeing how meaningful it is for Cliff and Jane to have someone…” Larry scowled and lifted up one of his hands from his chest to scrub at his face. Doom Manor was so hard to contextualize sometimes. “Not younger. She’s older than all of us. Smaller? It’s nice to see Cliff and Jane both have someone smaller to look out for. Daughter. Little sister. However it goes.” He lowered his hand down to his side, away from his chest where he’d more acutely feel the rumbles of the Negative Spirit’s responses. “Did I mention she made me a crown? That was nice.”

Larry lapsed into silence, his eyes unfocused as they stared at his ceiling and past it toward all the feelings and regrets of a long life.

He never felt the need to regain a sense of fatherhood like Cliff was haunted by. But he had been a father, too. He had been a father of two.

And he never saw either of them again. Never tried.

Sheryl had taken them away to a better life. Maybe she remarried, to a man who could love her the way she deserved to be love. Maybe the boys got a father who could teach them all the things about being a man that were beyond Larry’s comprehension.

It probably would have been simple enough to find out, if Larry had asked questions or reached out.

But he hadn’t. He forfeited that part of his life, just like he had forfeited so much else.

In some ways, he hoped Sheryl had told the boys he had died. That way they never grew up wondering why Larry hadn’t reached out. So they didn’t have the accurate picture of what a coward their fearless flyboy father had been.

There was no telling how much time he was prepared to spend down that path before his body jolted.

Not without warning, the Negative Spirit seized through Larry’s body with force and separated. His eyes rolled back into his head and everything went limp and dark.

When Larry woke with a gasp, he already knew what had happened, but he sat upon his bed all the same and grabbed at his head in frustration.

“Look! This is part of it!” he yelled toward his chest. His heart was racing, equal parts the Negative Spirit’s pulsing and Larry’s own anger. “I know, I know we need to work on being positive, but you got yourself paired with one of the most naturally negative sons of bitches on the planet. This wasn’t just about you, alright? We’ve talked about this before. I was born negative. I’ve been looking at the dark side of things since I was seven years old and that’s not changed in a century. You have to work with me here if we’re going to get anywhere.”

He was answered only by the creaks and groans of Doom Manor.

“I’m allowed to remember bad things, you know,” Larry continued to argue. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe everyone’s right and I’ve been letting them rule me. I-I know you’re all right about that. But completely avoiding and ignoring negative things doesn’t keep them from existing. It’s dangerous. And it’s wrong.” His frown deepened. “I’d be more of a monster than I ever dreamed myself being, if I thought anything less than the fact that the boys didn’t deserve what they had to go through. Alright? They may be old men now, but they are still my boys. And they deserved not losing everything they ever knew. And they didn’t deserve all the secondhand anxiety and paranoia from me. Those are just facts. Even if they were unavoidable.”

Finally, the Negative Spirit hummed again.

“What? That’s what you wanted from me?” Larry asked, splaying his hands against his chest to feel the rumble more. “You wanted me to say it was unavoidable? Look, how many times do I have to learn these lessons until you’re satisfied?”

There was quiet once more.

“If it’s until I believe them,” Larry’s voice softened to a murmur, “we’ll be doing this every day for a long time. Maybe until the day I finally die. And even then it might not be enough. You know that, right? I’m pretty majorly fucked in here, and a good amount of that came with the package before you joined in, buddy.”

The hum was unmistakable that time, Larry felt it through his core.

Okay.

“Okay,” Larry repeated, laying back down. “Stop having fits the second we go into some territory you don’t like, I’ll try to respond quicker.”

There was another unmistakable hum through his chest.

“If you’re wondering about the conversation with Rita about Flex, then you probably were already aware of most of it,” Larry snorted. “I’m coming up on one hundred years old, I don’t want to repeat what I said to my best friend about someone else’s quads.” He tossed his head a little from side to side and then sighed. “They are nice, though. And admitting it out loud didn’t light me on fire, so, who knows. Maybe being gay does get easier with practice.”

That seemed to satisfy the spirit, and it did Larry, too.

Small victories — victories so small that a previous version of himself might have argued they weren’t worth celebrating, not for the amount of time it took for him to get to that point. But he felt the accomplishment all the same.

There were so many regrets and so much fear in his life that was still there, and he still didn’t believe that erasing all of it was the fully responsible or realistic thing to do.

But he could make himself lighter, in whatever small increments he could. And that was surely worth the battle alone.

[headoverjojo]

Hello! If this has been asked already/makes you uncomfortable please ignore! But how would the Bucci gang react to their S/O telling them they’re pregnant?

Hello there dear! Makes me uncomfortable? I LIVE for parents stuff aaaaaa ❤️

Bruno’s gang’s reaction to their s/o’s pregnancy

(Under the cut for length!)

Bruno Bucciarati

Bruno and his s/o had talked about starting a family, living a quiet life -as much as they could- in a house near the sea… sometimes he indulged in such thoughts and dreams, picturing his s/o with a baby in her arms, seeing himself taking his child to the beach, teaching them how to fish, as his father did with him… sweet, innocent dreams that actually give him the strength to endure.

They, however, never seriously tried. It was always a sweet thought, a topic that sometimes came out, especially when they saw a mom or a dad with a little child. They didn’t know if they would ever be able to have a family, with their work… even if Bruno, especially, wanted a family so badly. That’s why the pregnancy was totally unexpected.

His s/o wasn’t feeling too well, in the last period. And, speaking of period, she missed it more than one time. The first month she didn’t pay attention, it was already happened, but the second time… well, suspicions started to rise. And her sickness was suspicious too. So, when the test confirmed it, she wasn’t so surprised, more… excited. A bit scared too. And not it was time to tell Bruno.

And finally the moment came. Bruno was just entered home and she was immediately here, smiling brightly and hugging him, tearing a surprised chuckle from him. He was so happy to receive a welcome like this! And then she grabbed his hand, leading him to the kitchen table: it was prepared for three. At Bruno’s question if they would have had a guest, she sweetly smiled, answering: “Well, more than a guest, it’ll be a new member of the family. They’ll be with us in nine months.” Bruno almost choked hearing such words. So she was…? They were going to be…? Her smile and the positive test she was holding were the answers he needed. He hugged her tightly, kissing her cheeks and face, with a bubbly, watery laugh, murmuring how much he was happy and what a beautiful family they were going to be. It couldn’t have done better than this.

Leone Abbacchio

When he was younger, he had dreamt about having a family, one day. Doing his dream job, finding love, having one, maybe two children… it all shattered that terrible night. His dreams and ambitions died with his partner. He didn’t want to stay near anyone, he didn’t want to bring in the darkness anyone else. It was at that point that Bruno found him.

In the gang, Abbacchio found one out three of his dreams: his s/o. He couldn’t believe it… still, they were together and she beared with him and vulnerability. She softened him. And she started to dream about having a family… but she didn’t dare to bring it up. Not yet. Abbacchio was healing… it wasn’t the right time.

She thought she had been careful. Still, even being so, there was a slight chance of failure and this is what happened to them. She got worried when she skipped her period and immediately bought a couple of tests, just to calm herself down. Just that… they were positive. Both of them. She couldn’t stop staring at the positive lines. Shit shit shit… she was screwed. She was so scared Abbacchio would be angry at her, for not being careful enough… for a little while she even thinks about hiding it. But then… it would have been unfair. They were a couple and he deserved to know the truth. So, the moment he came home, she bluntly announced her pregnancy. Saying that Abbacchio was baffled was an understatement. She was…? How?! They were careful, how…? Still, it happened. It can’t be helped… and, well… he never said it aloud, but a corner of his mind had started to graze the idea of fatherhood. Now it all seems so real… he grabs her shoulders, pressing his forehead on her, just asking her to be patient, with him, to teach him how to be a good man and a good father for their child. She can’t restrain herself from hugging him, tightly, murmuring that he was already a good person and that both would have learned together, relieved to see him reacting, well… way better than what she thought.

Guido Mista

Mista comes from a big family: even if he was a only child, he had tons of cousins who were always around, so it was like having a dozen of brothers and sisters of various ages. He loves big families! He’d really like to start a family with his s/o. He’s just waiting the right moment to bring it up! It’s a big step and he wants it to be perfect!

Not that he never talked about it with his s/o… especially because she too would like to start a family. Maybe one, two children… just not four. She doesn’t want him to die on spot! Sometimes she joked about him being already such a great dad with the Pistols, just to being said that she was practically their mom, seeing how the bullets always ran to her to be cuddled and loved!

Until the day the fantasies turned into reality. One day she found herself disgusted even by just the smell of the salame’s slices she used to give the Pistols, to her -and the bullet’s- utter dismay. What was wrong. She thought that maybe she was just sick. But seeing that this sickness wasn’t getting better -it was worsening- she booked an appointment. And her jaw almost dropped when the doctor told her she was pregnant. Really?? And now? Well- she’s happy, of course, she wanted to have a family, soon or later, but… now? Now that Mista is so busy as Giorno’s personal guard? She’s more scared from the bad timing than anything else. She knows that Mista would be ecstatic. And, to tell him, he asks the Pistols’ help -after they freaked out for the massive happiness-. They tell her things about his childhood, something that could give him some hints… in the end, she prepares his favourite dish when he was a child. When he comments with a “Ah! It was my favourite dish when I was a little brat, you know?” she replies, smiling, with a “Well, I hope it’ll be your child’s favourite dish too.” making Mista almost faint on spot. He’s immediately on her, shocked, asking if it’s true, oh shit, are they going to be a family?? Seeing the doctor’s report, he just beams in joy. He kisses her, more times, he kisses her belly too, nuzzling his face in it, promising that they’ll be so loved, cherished and protected, making his s/o almost crying on spot. It couldn’t have gone better than this…!

Narancia Ghirga

Even if now Narancia is more mature -both mentally and age wised- nor he or his s/o ever thought about starting a family. They’re young, they have time! And Narancia is climbing the ranks, neither of them have the right time to actively think about a family. Plus, Narancia wants to do things right, as Bruno always teached him, so he waits for the right moment.

But, alas, the right moment to seriously talk about their future -and possible family- never seems to come. Sometimes he is too busy with all the missions he’s assigned to, sometimes she is too tired or busy too… and they never can actually talk seriously about it. Sometimes they joke about - “Would you like a mini-me, amore?” Narancia is used to ask, making her laugh-, but again, nothing really serious.

So it was a big surprise when she started not to feel well. Narancia, even if still childish at heart, has learnt to be more observant of his surroundings and notices that his s/o is weird. They don’t eat a lot, some food she liked a lot now disgusts her -hell, she came to hate even the smell of pizza, what the damn-, she seems more tired… he’s so worried. Is she sick? But she hasn’t fever, so it’s not a flu or a cold… and she always says she’s fine and doesn’t need a doctor. Bullshit, Narancia thinks. But still, if she’s sick, Giorno could heal her. So Aerosmith’s user runs to call the friend, asking him to please check his s/o and see if Gold Experience can heal her. When Giorno arrives and uses Gold Experience on her, well… surprise! He’s baffled. He feels a little bundle of life in her! So that’s why she was sick… when he tells the couple, they’re shocked. She’s what?! For real?! Narancia doesn’t speak for a good while and his s/o, still shocked and wordless, almost fears he’s angry. But when he finally lifts his head, what that streams down his cheeks are tears of joy. He just lowers himself on her belly, kissing it, chuckling and crying, telling the baby that they really made mommy sick, eh? But that now that mom and dad know they are here, they are going to love them and properly care for them. He also ask them -and his s/o- to be patient, if he does mistakes, to teach him… his s/o can’t help but to start to cry too, hugging tightly Narancia, as Giorno slowly leaves the room, giving the two the right private time they need.

Pannacotta Fugo

Fugo isn’t one who loves surprises. He’s anxious and having things under control helps him to keep in control also his anxiety -and Purple Haze-, so talks about their future are common, between him and his s/o. What they’d like to do, where they’d like to live, projects, dreams… they talk about everything. Serious talks still in a relaxed atmosphere, while cuddling or when they’re home together.

Among all the topics, it came out also the children’s one. Fugo is really unsure about having kids, seeing his temper and dangerous stand, but his s/o is positive that he could be a good father, that he’s getting better and better with his anger issues too. She believes in him so much that, in the end, he decides to give it a try, with his s/o’s approval. He feels even a bit relieved, even if still agitated, now that they came to a decision.

And so they try. They want a kid and they’re going to try as much as it’s needed. Finally, after a while, his s/o starts to feel strange, like something’s off with her. Her back hurts, she has lost her appetite -or sometimes she craves for the weirdest food-… they both suspect that they finally made it. They go together to buy a pregnancy test -she needed his support right now- and they wait together, holding hands, as the test slowly turns positive. They’re both shocked -they hoped, but daring to think it would have turned out true? Not yet-, but soon a laugh bubbles on Fugo’s lips, as few tears escape his control. His beloved s/o is pregnant!! They did it!! He never thought he’d be so happy about it, seeing his visceral fear, but now he can just thinks about the so wanted and waited little bundle of life that is nestled in his s/o’s belly, safe… he kisses his s/o’s face, thanking her, thanking her so much, for being here, for wanting a child with him, before bending on her belly, pressing his forehead on it and caressing it, with another broken laugh. He tells them how much they waited for them, that they’re going to be loved, he promises he’ll do his best to be a good dad for them, the dad they deserve, not to make his parents’ mistakes… His s/o can just caress his hair while crying, softened and moved by his sincere words. Trying so much, in the end, had been really worth.

Giorno Giovanna

Giorno never had a real family, but he’d really like to have one, in future. Now that his dream had been achieved and he’s the respected Don of Passione, he can think about the future. He was lucky enough to meet his wonderful s/o, the woman he loves with all his might, the gang’s doing well, so… he really starts to think about future. A future with his s/o.

Even if Giorno is a damn busy man, he always finds the time to stay with his s/o and, when they’re together, they talk about their projects. Giorno loves to hear about her plans, her dreams, while gently caressing her back. He almost chokes when she confess she’d like a child, one day… but, thinking seriously about it, Giorno finds himself desiring it too. He knows well he’ll not be a horrible parent like his mom or step dad, so… he’d like to try to have a child. He’s more than sure.

They both know that having a child is a great responsibility, so, while they try, they also make plans for after the birth. How to make them live a serene life, keeping them far from the darkness of mafia, how to equally divide the duties -and sharing the funny moments-, how to organize Giorno’s Don life… and, while they plan, it finally happens. His s/o skips her period once, two times. It’s suspicious. A test confirms it: she’s pregnant. She runs to Giorno’s office, not even knocking -she knows what she can and can’t do, and storming in his office for a so important news is a thing she can do- and, if no one is present, she immediately goes to hug him tightly, to his utter dismay. What happened? Not that he dislikes sudden cuddles- but why? Then he finally understands when she takes his hands to place them on her belly. She’s pregnant!! Giorno instinctively calls out Gold Experience to check and here it is, a small bundle of life. He’s…overwhelmed. He’s going to be a dad. They’re going to be a… a family. It all is so real, now. He just presses his face on her belly, silent, letting her gently caress his hair, while he silently cry. He’s so happy he doesn’t know how to express it if not with sincere tears of happiness. He promises once more he’s going to be a good dad, he’s going to be present and he’ll keep them safe. He can’t wait for when he’ll meet them for real… for now, he just enjoy the overwhelming feeling of knowing he’s going to be father.

[pocket-anon]

Tumblr meme - 5 Favorite Fics

Hello, you have been identified as An Awesome Writer™! Congrats, you rock! So that all of your readers can shower you with some extra love today, please tell us your favourite five (or as many as you want) stories of yours and why you like them and then send this to another five fic authors you think deserve this title! <3 

Tagged by my dear @kmomof4!  I did a post like this once before, so it’s interesting to see how this list has changed over time.

1. Scar Tissue (my baby, the multichapter fic I cut my teeth on and the one that convinced me I could call myself a writer)

Four years after losing his hand and his first love in the line of duty, Killian Jones, now a permanent exchange officer with the British Royal Navy, is starting to wonder whether his emotional scars are doomed to be as permanent as his physical ones. A chance meeting with Emma Swan, a young Navy surgeon-in-training, however, grants him the opportunity to work toward healing and happiness, if only he’ll let her in. (Captain Swan modern AU. Angst & Romance. Warnings for vague descriptions of medical injuries, mild profanity, and eventual smut. Rated M.)

2. The Long Way Home (the CSBB fic that gave me a ridiculous number of fits and gray hairs but also gave me the satisfaction of overcoming some new challenges as a writer; it was also better received than I ever thought it would be)

After an unnaturally long life fraught with personal tragedy, Killian Jones has become known throughout the realms as the infamous Captain Hook, an opportunistic ne’er-do-well and one of the most formidable pirates to ride the waves. When he crosses paths with a mysterious young woman with no memory of who she is or how she arrived there, he recognizes the chance to claim a monetary reward that will constitute his biggest score yet. But a journey across the world to get her home leads to a series of adventures that reveal that her value lies in far more than gold and jewels. A Captain Swan Anastasia AU - sort of. (Captain Swan Enchanted Forest AU. Romance, Adventure, & Eventual Smut. Rated E.)

3.  A Fairytale Beginning (I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited about the concept for a fic, and this was a ball to write; still technically a WIP in the sense that the main body of the fic is done, but the epilogue is taking me FOREVER - so sorry, guys)

Killian Jones, the notorious Captain Hook, has been on a quest to kill the Dark One and avenge the death of his first love for over one hundred fifty years. But when he crosses the Evil Queen, he’s magically transported to New York City, a strange land full of fascinating wonders, the foremost of which is Emma Swan, a cynical single mother with no time for fairytales, real or imagined. A Captain Swan Enchanted AU. (Captain Swan modern AU, Captain Swan Enchanted Forest AU. Romance & Adventure. Rated G.) 

4. Somebody Waits For You (a sugary sweet dose of Christmas romance)

After years trying to make things work with a bad boyfriend/business partner, Emma Swan abandons New York for a fresh start in Boston with her son, looking for a way to live her life and run her coffee shop on her own terms. Enter Killian Jones, the pretty perfect owner of the bookstore next door who’s just the man to help her do it. But even the perfect guy can be haunted by his past, and the events of the Christmas season help reveal that maybe it’s not so much about her needing him as about them needing each other. (Captain Swan/Captain Cobra modern AU, coffee shop AU, bookstore AU, Christmas fic. Angst & Romance/Fluff. Rated G.)

5. Found (a CS baby one-shot inspired by our OTP’s happy ending; this one is actually based quite a bit on memories of the day my son was born)

Killian's first thoughts on fatherhood inspire a name for his little girl. Headcanon and fluffy, fluffy drabble. (Captain Swan. Canon Compliant. Fluff. Rated G.)

Tagging @blessed-but-distressed, @bleebug, @lifeinahole27, @mahstatins, @the-captains-ayebrows, and @justanotherwannabeclassic.

[autumnpawtribe]

Almost time - December 23

“Master Autumnpaw!”

I was sitting down on the trunk of a tree, laughing with Jung, one of the pandaren I hired to help out around the Kun’lai house and with my move to the cottage in Gilneas.  It was still warm out in the foothills for this time of year and we’d busted ass to box up a lot of gear, household items and split wood for the fire here.  Just because we were leaving after the birth, did not mean we shirked our duties to this house.  We still needed to cook and heat the place.  At that moment we’d decided to take a break, tell a few jokes and in Jung’s words allow him to “pass on fatherly advice”.  Jung was a father of five cubs, his wife soon expecting a sixth and seventh in the coming months.  He’d spent the time we worked together trying to ease my mind, giving words of sage advice and small stories of the good times that and happiness that fatherhood had brought him.  He’d been one I employed for months, but now I considered him friend for all of it.  

“Remember to remain calm when things get tough, Vol.  You have friends and family who will help you.  Let them.  You have long planned for things to happen without a child, food stores, gold, needs of your raptors and refugees.  Your needs have now changed, they include an infant.  Your people have always been enduring.  Others have made it, you will.  It will be work.  Have no doubts of that, but slow down, do not rush.  Enjoy your time with the child as they grow up.  Hae will help when the time comes.  Ultimately you are the caregiver and father.  No one knows when your mate will return.  You have the strength of will for this and your.. I believe you called the baby a tuskling.  Your tuskling will need that as they grow.  Endow them with that.  Through your nervousness and fear, show strength and courage to your babe.”  

Hae is his wife, they both were staying with Naddja at the Kun’lai house until her time came.  Their several of their children ran past as he spoke the four youngest playing with raptor hatchlings.  I encouraged them to play with the tiny beasts to socialize the youngest of my flock.  As they passed, their eldest boy called out for me as both his father and I turned to see.  The cub, near his adulthood, red of fur and stout as his father, was panting as he skid to a stop a few feet away.  His hands were on his knees as he strained for breath and looked up at me.  

“Ja ok dere Cai?  Ja been runnin hard.  Et not time fer suppah…”

“Mother says time… baby..”

I didn’t let him finish as I took off as fast as my legs would allow.  I had been nervous to be at the

birthing, but Jung had convinced me, and Naddja permitted it, so I did not want to miss anything.  I would be there for my child’s birth, be the first to hold them and all.  My obsidian knife and a fur and woven wool blanket were ready for my part.  Hae would be there to help and heal the mother of my child.

I actually hit the door hard before Hae opened up the top of the split door.  I slid a few feet before I could stop myself with gravity and wounded pride.  I was apparently hysterical to watch as I was flat on my ass, the pandaren woman giggling at me.  Hauling myself up and dusting myself off a bit, the healer who is just a bit smaller than Xiao, proceeded to open the bottom half on the door and let me in.  I always had to duck my head as the door was too low for me, but at least the ceilings only barely brushed my hair.  I stretched to my full height and smiled sheepishly as Hae turned to look at the hallway that led to Naddja’s bedroom.

“A false alarm for now, Vol’raka.  Her body is practicing, but it won’t be today.”  The relief must have been in my face as Hae patted my upper arm.  “This will happen, the practice.  It will make sure she is ready.  I know you two are not close, but perhaps speaking to her would be good for you both right now?”  With a not-taking-no-for-an-answer nod, she pressed me into the bedroom where Naddja was staying.  “Oh, by the by.  I have prepared supper for you both, but Jung and I will be taking the children to my sister’s for her birthday celebration this evening.  It is soup and a crusty bread, but it will feed two trolls for the evening.”

With a nod, I gave my blessing for them to go for the night as well as a thank you for thinking of us both.  I wandered to the bedroom, knocking softly until the deep rough voice allowed me in.  I

nodded, sitting on the floor next to the simple bed and smiling nervously.  Naddja looked tired, sitting up and rubbing her middle as I spoke, keeping my voice soft and calm in tonal Zandali, the language we spoke to each other as her common and orcish was fairly non existent.

“I am sorry I put you through this.”  Her words were simple, rough, and repentant.  Her face showed the pain as I could see her belly tighten.  I studied her for a moment, maybe memorizing her a bit so I could tell the child about their mother.  Her hair was a mix of green, more subdued in color than mine, with fine strands of sapphire blue throughout.  It was shaved on the sides, braided back and hung with bones at the ends.  She wore only a lip piercing, no other adornments.  Her skin was a cloudy grey-blue, her form thin and flat.  She looked unremarkable to me, though to a male who like other males, she was not my type.  I did not regret her and our coupling, but we had little to say to each other and she was a woman of few words.

When she spoke, my hand went to hers.  The only comfort she ever wanted from me was a hold of a hand, and I was ok with that.  We had agreed there was no love for one another weeks ago.  Holding or patting her hand at least gave her something to focus on when her body felt the pain that had increased lately.  I did that now, a hand on hers and a little squeeze as a simple gesture of support.  “Have you heard from your mate, the pandaren man.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.  I should apologize to you.  You have gone through this alone until now.  You wish to return to your own mate.  I understand.”  She had taken another Zandalari to mate a few months ago, but he did not want to raise another troll’s child as his own.  Especially that of a

Darkspear mongrel’.  That is why she came to me.  “When you are healed I have arranged for gold and offerings sent.  I have the means, and it will be the end between us, Naddja.  We have agreed.”  Another of our agreements.  This was business to us now, between mother and father, there was to

be as little emotion as could be.  Kit made us agree to this and the gold.  Partly for Naddja’s having to deal with the hunt and to ensure, as Kit said ���that she didn’t come sniffing back around’.

“And no, he has not responded yet.”

“If he leaves because…”  She seemed startled for a moment, looking down and taking my hand for the first time. She pressed my palm around for a moment before holding it still finally.  “Here…  Feel.”

I honestly didn’t understand for a moment until I felt the hard blow to my hand from my child as it

moved around, Naddja telling me it was kicking.  It was the first time she had permitted me to feel the baby move and I must have had a face full of shock.  I didn’t know what to feel for a moment, until she smiled, nodding down.  “Put your cheek down on here, It’s ok this once.  It’s going to be time soon, you deserve to bond with her.”  

That made my head shoot up and stare her in the face.  With a soft smile, she spoke.  “Your daughter, not mine.  Daughter of Vol’raka.”  She knew better than to speak the name given.  Names have power and it was a father’s right to name the child, in the old ways that we had agreed to, even if she knew the names I had chosen.

“You are sure of that?”  

I held the smile back for a second before she nodded.  “I trust the teachings of my Loa.  He knows he has no claim to her.  She is not meant to be raptari.  She is not meant to be mine.  Here.”  Her hand patted her middle, allowing a rare closeness to her in order to bond with my daughter.  “She should know your voice.”  

With a sigh, I laid my head down, moving my head into a more comfortable position so that my tusks didn’t snag the blanket she had draped on her legs.  I closed my eyes, smiling as I spoke to the tiny tuskling that would be here soon enough.

“My little child..”  I knew she would be tiny compared to me, Naddja a good two feet shorter than I am.  “I don’t know what to say to you, other than I will make sure you are loved, cared for.  You will want for nothing.  You have aunts, uncles, cousins who all will meet you.  You are unexpected, but I promise that you are wanted.”  I wanted to tell her that she also had a second papa who would probably promise the same, but I didn’t ever want to make a promise that I could not keep.

“Daughter of Vol’raka.  I will do my best.  That is all I can promise, for I will never lie, nor will I make a false promise to you.”  I lifted my head and spoke again the Zandalari.  “So Siame, so zutopong.  Wha weh wassa.”

‘My child, my daughter.  You are loved.”