#Exo Kai fanfic

[proudahgase-exol]

♡ ᴊᴏɴɢɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴀ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ♡

Jongin x reader

-this is how I imagine Kai to be as a BF.

If you enjoy it please like and reblog ♡

He loves to watch you in silence, not in a creepy way but in a loving manner.

He talks about you to his friends, and he tells them how sweet you are to him.

He tells his mom that he's found the one he’ll marry.

He likes to match clothes, so he buys a few things for both of you.

He likes it when you wear his clothes; it makes him feel some type of way.

When it comes to you, he doesn’t have to drop whatever he’s doing to be by your side.

He’s so whipped, it’s crazy.

He likes to make you laugh. He likes to hear the sound of your laughter; it makes him happy.

He gets sad when he’s not with you; he needs to have you around at all times.

When it’s time to sleep, he likes to cuddle you. He feels safe if he has his arms wrapped around you.

He has so many pictures of you two on his phone.

He likes to go out for a walk with your hand in his

He always tells you how he’s feeling; he knows you will listen carefully and give him advice.

You are his best friend, his other half, and everyone can tell how much he loves you.

He’s really patient with you and never gets mad at you.

He's trying to make you dinner, but it doesn’t go as planned.

He teaches you how to dance to his music or exo music.

When he’s far away, he makes sure to call and text you.

[imaginidol]

POV: The Intimate Moments Between You & Kai's Relationship

There's a faint sound of running faucet water that wakes you up from a slumber that you hadn't even noticed you'd slipped into. You hear a faint tap, tap, tap coming from a corner of the room.

It takes you a couple seconds to realize you're in some sort of hotel room. Actually, you are. A quick glance at a sleek men's suitcase sitting at the foot of the window reminds you that you're in Jongin's room. This is his bed.

Tap, tap, tap. You turn over and find yourself peeking at Jongin through the bathroom mirror, which is in broad view from where you lay in bed. Jongin is spreading shaving cream all over his beard stubble and faint mustache, possibly unaware that you'd even woken up.

Right, the memories start flooding back to you. You were out all night with Jongin and the rest of the management and EXO members, hopping from an evening dinner to a late-night American talk show interview and performance, and somehow soberly made your way back to the hotel. I must've done it again last night. Shit, did I... did I fall asleep with Jongin--

"Good morning," Jongin's voice startles you back to reality and away from your traveling thoughts. "Kind of unprofessional that my hairstylist slept in my room, don't you think?"

Oh no, you think to yourself, feeling around the nightstand table for your phone. You have plenty missed calls and texts from the manager.

Shit, I'm definitely getting fired, you curse quietly in your head.

Last night you’d had only a few drinks for dinner. All you really remember was spending most of the evening whispering with Jongin back and forth next to each other at the dinner table. The flirting lead to a quiet text message from him reading, “come to my room later,” and you obeyed happily. Needless to say, the rest of the night was history.

“Shit, I’ve gotta get back to my room,” you start to say as you throw your legs over the edge of the bed, only to quickly look down and realize you’re wearing nothing more than your underwear. Shit.

"You can stay," Jongin looks at you mischiviously through the bathroom mirror as he finishes washing his face. "I'll cover for you if the manager asks."

You roll your eyes and begin searching for your pants, blouse, and heels scattered all about the floor, quickly dressing yourself as the time on your phone flashes to 6:37 AM. Everyone is probably awake by now, so I've got to run back to my room before anyone sees me.

"Text me," Jongin sheepishly calls out after you as you run out the door and into the hallway.

--

A little over half an hour later you're back in Jongin's room with Minseok and Chanyeol. Minseok rumages through Jongin's suitcase looking for a particular cologne. You're touching up the last of Chanyeol's hair with a thin comb. Suddenly, a flash of light catches your attention.

"Say cheese," Jongin says from behind you, as he's rotating a camera in his hands in your direction. "You're gonna be in our vlog. Get-Ready-With-EXO behind the scenes!"

"Jongin," Minseok mutters from behind. Jongin, mindlessly recording still, turns around and gasps as Minseok is holding up a very familiar bra. "Don't leave this next to my Dior, please."

Your eyes widen and your hands tense up at the sudden realization: I didn't take my bra! Your thoughts are interrupted by a small whimper from Chanyeol as you realize you'd pulled his hair in the process without meaning to.

"Shit, sorry Channie," you mumble, your cheeks flushing faintly.

Jongin laughs nervously, turning the camera off. "Nevermind. Guess you've got enough screen-time in the vlog already," he mutters. "Uh, Minseokie, a... fan gave me that last night. After the... talk show."

He slyly raises an eyebrow in your direction at the word fan, and you, embarrassed, turn your attention back to Chanyeol's hair, re-doing his middle part for the umpteenth time.

Chanyeol notices the exchange of expressions through the mirror. He inhales and exhales quietly, turning his attention to his phone and not saying a word.

"Jongin," you stay back for a few minutes after the other members have left the room. "This isn't working. We're not working. Minseok could've found out--"

"Minseok recognizes your bra like that?"

"What? No! I'm just saying, what if it were something more... obvious?"

"They wouldn't mind if I told them," he says, now sitting on the floor next to his suitcase and wrapping your bra inside one of his black t-shirts for you to sneak back into your room discretely.

"No, you can't tell them because I work for you guys. I'm your hairstylist, and it's wrong!"

"Why is it wrong?" he looks up from the neatly folded t-shirt.

"I will get fired. It could cause a scandal if another employee finds out. It could cost you your career!"

"Fine," he exhales, grabbing a set of playing cards from the nightstand table that Chanyeol had left earlier. "I'll end it now. On one condition."

"Okay," you whisper. He flips through a few cards between his fingers.

"Look me in the eye," he whispers, bringing an ace card to his lip, "and tell me you don't want me anymore."

Shit.

Your eyes lock with his. You can't bring yourself to say it.

My better judgement is telling me that maybe I should leave, you think.

"Jongin--" you start to mutter, but your voice is caught in your throat.

"You won't," he says, slowly standing up. He stands in front of you, completely towering over your frame. He lets the ace card fall to your feet, and by your luck it lands facing up.

Aha, you think, how could anyone say no to the ace of EXO?

Definitely not me.

You feel his fingers grasp your hands as he leans down and grazes his soft lips against your forehead.

"It'll take me a while to get over you if you leave," he whispers, "but I'll be okay."

Your eyes close as your noses begin to nudge each other, your lips softly calling for his. One peck, two pecks, three pecks later, you find yourself kissing Jongin over and over again.

You pull him closer to you, nudging him to sit on the edge of the bed with you. You're wrapping one hand around his neck, the other slowly making its way up from his waist to his collarbone. You cup his jaw gently in one palm, soft kisses shared back and forth, each slowly becoming firmer and harsher after the other.

You're about to invite his arms around your own waist when suddenly the sound of the door bursts open.

"Jongin, I left my cards in--"

You and Jongin quickly turn around to find yourselves meeting face-to-face with Chanyeol. He halts in his tracks, not moving a muscle from his stance at the door. Your eyes widen, then Chanyeol's, then Jongin's. You can't tell whose cheeks are reddening the brightest in the room, a wave of embarrassment from all angles inhabiting the air. Chanyeol says nothing, and immediately steps back into the hallway almost as quickly as he'd stepped in.

Unprofessional, you think.

You turn back to Jongin, who's now scrolling through his phone in search of Chanyeol's number.

"I'm so getting fired," you whisper. Jongin simply looks up from his phone, a sheepish smile spreading over his face as he holds his phone up to his ear to call Chanyeol.

"He won't do anything," he swears.

"How do you know he won't!?"

"Because," he smiles. "He likes you too, but you're mine now."

He winks at you, reaches towards the end of the bed to retrieve something, and hands you a rather neatly folded bulky black t-shirt.

[kpop---scenarios]

Reckless (2)

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader

Genre: Brothers Bestfriend

Warning: Hurt.. smutty smut [18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT READ]

Word Count: 2.6k

Part One |

Taglist: @hyunjinhoexxx @ovulatingrn @jisunglyricist @guiltycoco @fawnpeaks @purple-bell @seungminsapuppy @chanbahng29

“Dumb enough to do what, exactly?” You ask Jisung, eyes darting between him and Minho.

“Fuck around, get to together.. you know, anything like that.” Jisung chuckles.

“Would that really be so bad?” Minho asks, locking eyes with you as Jisung looks down at his food, that was your food, and laughs.

“It would be hell on earth.” He yells. “My little sister and my best friend? Ew, never happening.”

“Don't worry man, I would never go for Y/N. She's not even my type.” Minho laughs.

You glance at Minho, who is now avoiding eye contact.

“But you can go after my best friend?” You scoff, pushing his shoulder a little.

“What?” He asks. “When did I go after Hyunjin?”

You roll your eyes at him. “Not Hyunjin, Jisoo you moron!”

“She's hot.” Jisung laughs, looking at Minho. “And judging by his face, he thinks so too.”

“Ah, um, no, I don't.” Minho says. “I really don't.”

“It's okay, her and I are just a casual hookup thing, I can set you up with her.” Jisung offer.

“Since when are you a casual hook up thing with her?” You ask.

“Since last night.” Jisung explains, with a giant smile on his face. “So, you wanna get set up?” He asks Minho, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I don't need your help with women. I'm perfectly capable of getting them on my own.” Minho laughs.

“I'm gonna set you up anyway!” Jisuung yells, excitedly. “Minho and Jisoo!”

You look at Minho, you're not even sure with what kind of expression.

“As fun as this has been, I have to go get ready for class. Both of you, goodluck with the whole Jisoo thing.” You say, forcing a smile as you walk past both of them.

“What's up her ass?” Jisung laughs as you walk out of the room.

You hated him so much sometimes. As you're gathering your bag and books there's a knock at your door.

“Go away.” You yell, grabbing your phone off your bed.

“Open the door.” You hear. You rolled your eyes, you had no choice, you had to leave anyway. You pull the door open, seeing Minho standing there, looking guilty. “What?”

“Listen.” Minho starts.

“Don't.” You say, putting up your hand. “Whatever happened was a drunk thing, I'm not even your type so don't worry about it.” You finish, moving past him, heading downstairs and out the front door.

“Guys fucking suck.” You scoff, sliding into the seat next to Hyunjin.

“Good afternoon to you too.” He chuckles, running his hands through his hair.

“I'm sorry, not you. Just a select few.” You sigh.

“Your brother?” He asks, glancing at you.

“He's one, yes. He hooked up with Jisoo.” You shiver, the thought makes you nauseous.

“Yeah, unfortunately I saw that.” Hyunjin sighs. “I had nightmares last night from it. Also, where did you disappear too? You said you were getting a drink and never came back.” He pouts.

“Ah, I got pulled into the hallway by one of Jisung's friends apparently. Changbin.” You explain, opening your text book.

“That creepy fuck?” He almost yells. “Stay away from him.”

“That's the plan.” You smile as your professor walks into the room. Hyunjin leans over, his lips brushing your ear. “Do you wanna get a drink after this?” He asks.

You smile at him and nod your head. Hopefully you'll be able to make it through this class. At the end of the lecture, your head was pounding. You were exhausted and confused by the entire lesson plan. You swore you had no fucking clue what your teacher was talking about in almost any of the class.

“Drink?” Hyunjin asks. You desperately nod your head as he links arms with you, heading to your favorite pub. You know those people who say they're going to only have one drink, and end up having multiple? Yeah that was you and Hyunjin. One turned to two, which turned to three, and four and so on. By your 6th drink you were hiccuping and slurring your words.

“Let's get you out of here.” Hyunjin laughs, pulling your arm.

“I don't wanna go hooooomeeee.” You whine. “Stupid Minho is there.”

“What'd he do?” Hyunjin asks, holding your shoulder as he guides you out of the pub.

“I'm not his tyyyypee.” You exaggerate.

“But you're everyone's type.” Hyunjin scoffs. “Especially mine.”

“No..” you hiccup. “No No don't do that.”

“Do what?” He asks. He leans his face close to yours, and you're uncomfortable. You can feel in your pocket, your phone vibrating. You grab it, fumbling to answer the call, not even reading who was calling.

“Hellooooo?” You answer, moving away from Hyunjin's close face.

“Where are you?”

“Minho?” You ask.

“Yes, Y/N, Where are you?” He asks again.

“Why do you even care?” You wonder.

“Y/N. Please, just tell me.” He sighs.

“I got a drink with Hyunjinnie.” you giggle. “That turned into 6.. I think he's trying to kiss me.” You whisper.

“At the pub by school?” He asks.

“Yeah, we left. He's walking me home.”

“Stay there.” He deadpans. “I'm on my way.”

You wanted to tell him no but the line went dead. You slipped your phone back in your pocket as Hyunjin walked over to you. “Who was that?”

“Minho.” You slur. “He told me to wait here.” You sigh, rolling your eyes.

“I'm more than capable of taking you home, you know.” He whines. You look at him, he looks annoyed.

“Yeah, I know.” You smile. “I didn't ask him to come.” You chuckle.

“Doesn't matter. Why does he have to come? Why can't I just have some time with you. And why are you okay with him coming!? I thought you didn't like him.” He huffs.

“It's complicated Hyunjin..” you sigh. This sudden serious talk was beginning to sober you up and you didn't like it.

“Complicated how?” He asks. You grab the sleeve of his arm, dragging him back towards the bar.

“More drinks.” You huff, Hyunjin in tow. Hyunjin chuckles from behind you, as the two of you enter the bar. You wanted to see how many shots you were able to do before Minho busted through the door.

It ended up only being two. The front door of the pub swings open, a huffing Minho walks in, looking around the bar for you. You tried to duck behind Hyunjin, but drunk you weren't the best at hiding.

“Minho.” Hyunjin says, placing his hand on Minho's chest to stop him. “She's fine with me. You can go.” He finishes.

Minho looks down at Hyunjins hand, swatting it off of him. “She's fine with you, huh?” He laughs. “After you tried to kiss her?” Hyunjin doesn't say anything. “Yeah, that's what I thought. Y/N, let's go. I told Jisung I'd bring you home.”

“So you're not here because you want to be.” You sigh, standing up. “Jisung sent you?”

“Yeah.” Minho responds, avoiding your eyes. You scoff, pushing past him and Hyunjin, towards the front door.

Minho follows closely behind you as you walk out the door. “I'm parked right there.” He says, pointing to his car.

You huff as you walk towards it, climbing in the back seat. Minho climbs into The driver's seat, turning around to look at you. “Why are you back there?” He asks.

“It's much safer back here.” You say, crossing your arms.

“Safer from what?” He asks, starting the car.

“Safer from you. You can't kiss me back here and then tell people I'm not your type.” You yell.

“Y/N.. that's not..” he starts.

“Don't wanna hear it.” You yell, cutting him off. He sighs as he starts to drive towards your house. The rest of the ride goes by in silence. You walk in the door first, Jisung tries to greet you but instead you walk straight up the stairs and head towards your room, changing into some shorts and a tank top before crawling into bed. You glance at the clock, it was only 10pm, and Jisung had already forced you to go home. It wasn't even that late, you were an adult, so why were you listening to them? You pulled out your phone to send a text to Jisoo, seeing what she was doing.

[To: Jisooooo] 10:02pm: What are you doing rn?

[From: Jisooooo] 10:05pm: Party at the EXO house. Come!!

You smile at your phone as you crawl out of bed and head to your closet. You slip on a dress, quickly doing some makeup and your hair. You grab a pair of shoes. You open your bedroom door, peeking out into the hallway, not seeing anyone you quietly head down the stairs, trying to be as quiet as you possibly can. You peek around the corner, seeing Minho and Jisung watching something on the couch. You tiptoe by, opening the front door, and of course it squeaks.

“Y/N?” Jisung yells. You pull the door open as fast as you can, not bothering to shut it and you bolt from the house. You look behind you, seeing Jisung's shadow in the door frame as you take off.

Once you feel like you're far enough, you slow down, put on your shoes and call an Uber, which comes quickly, taking you to the lively house.

Jisoo came outside as soon as you texted that you had shown up. She pulls you into the house, heading straight for the drinks, which were surrounded by so many attractive men.

“Y/N, this is Kai, Sehun, Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.” She says, introducing you. You smile and wave at them all, but one in particular cannot take his eyes off of you.

The seven of you stand around taking shots, talking and laughing for a few minutes, until Kai holds his hand out to you. ‘Wanna dance?” He asks, with a gorgeous smile. You take his hand, smiling back at him before he drags you to the living room.

You're hot as you dance in the crowd of people, Kai’s hands roaming your body as the two of you danced close to each other. His eyes remain on you and yours on his, you are completely oblivious to anything else going on, until Kai is ripped away from you. You look over in shock to see Minho standing there. He walks closer to you, you back up until you can't anymore. His chest pressed against yours as he stared at you.

“What are you doing?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.

“Dancing. What does it look like?” You ask.

Minho is pulled away from you. You see Kai standing there, the collar of Minho's shirt crumpled up in Kai's fists.

“What the fuck, man?” Kai yells, shoving Minho back. “Y/N, Do you know this dude?” He asks.

You sigh, running your hand over your face. “He's my brother's friend.” You say. Kai nods his head, walking away, but keeping a close eye on Minho. You grab Minho's wrist, pulling him outside the house.

“What are you doing here!?” You ask.

He chuckles a humorless laugh. “Why are you trying to make me jealous?” He asks, walking closer to you, moving his face closer to yours.

“Why are you jealous? I'm not your..” you say before he cuts you off.

“Cut the shit.” He breathes, crashing his lips onto yours. His hand presses against the back of your head, pushing into the kiss harder. His lips move against yours as his tongue slides into your mouth, swirling around your own. You wrap your arms around him, bringing your bodies closer together. The sound of someone yelling causes the two of you to break the kiss. Minho pulls you to his car, opening the passenger door for you before moving around to the driver's side. He speeds off, turning down random streets until you hit one that's fully dark. His hand held onto your thigh the entire time, slowly sliding up with each turn.

He puts the car in park, sliding his seat back. You reach over, unbuttoning his pants as he kisses you again, this time with more desperation and neediness. His hands roam your body as he pulls you closer to him and onto him, straddling him. He pulls his cock out before moving your panties to the side. Just as you begin to lower yourself onto him, his phone rings. He grabs it from the cup holder, groaning as Jisung's name flashes across the screen.

“Don't answer.” You breathe, desperate to feel his cock inside you.

He swipes to answer. “Yeah?”

“Did you find her?” Jisung asks. You smirk as you lower yourself onto him, his cock stretching you out. You watch Minho's face as he squeezes his eyes shut, biting his lip to keep from moaning out.

“Yeah, I've got eyes on her - She's fine. I'll get her home soon.” He says, hanging up the phone and tossing it to the seat next to him .

“You lied to him.” You moan as you rock your hips against him, his cock so deep inside you.

“It's not a lie.” He smirks. “I do have eyes on you.” He says, his hands on your hips as he guides you while you ride him. Minho moves his hands all over your body, up to your breasts, pulling them from your dress. He grips them, pulling you closer to him as he slips your nipple into your mouth, sucking on it. You cry out as you bounce on his dick, the feeling of his tongue swirling around your nipple sending you over the edge.

“God damn.” He groans. “You feel so fucking good.”

You smile as you throw your head back, he bucks his hips, pushing himself deeper into you. You run your hands through his hair as you continue grinding on him, your orgasm building so quickly.

“Fuck.” You breathe, squeezing your cunt around him, trying to delay your orgasm but it doesn't work, your eyes roll back as you cry out, your orgasm pulsates through your body.

“Oh fuck.” He groans. “I'm gonna cum.”

“Cum in my pussy.” You breathe, bouncing harder. “I'm on birth control.”

Minho moans loudly as he cums, thrusting himself deeper inside you. The two of you breathe heavily, your chests heaving as you slide off his cock and back into the passenger seat.

The rest of the ride is quiet as he drives back to your house. You walk in the front door, Jisung is in the living room.

“Don't take off again, please.” He sighs, his eyes never leaving the tv.

“Night.” You say, heading up the stairs to take a shower. That night you fall asleep, dreaming of Minho and what this night meant for the two of you.

The next morning you wake up happy as fuck. Happier than you had been in a very long time. It was Saturday and you were excited for the day and what might come of it. You look at the clock, you'd slept in late, it was already 1pm. You went downstairs, seeing Jisung and Minho in the kitchen talking and laughing.

“What's your plan tonight, Y/N?” Jisung asks, popping a candy in his mouth.

“I'm not sure yet.” You smile, glancing at Minho. “What about you?” You ask your brother.

“Gonna have people over later, but first Minho and I are going on a double date.” He laughs.

“Oh?” You partially choke. “A date?”

“Yeah.” Jisung chuckles. “Minho has been talking to Maya for a few weeks. And Jisoo and I are going to join them.” He explains. You look over at Minho, who won't look at you.

“Sounds fun.” You whisper.

“Yeah.” Minho pipes up. “It should be.”

[kjsexo]

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

⋆.˚ ♡ ⋆.˚

[nanawritesit]

Being EXO’s fem!idol crush who gets shipped with them - Maknae Line Ver.

Hyung Line Ver.

a/n: this is based on the SM girl group idol au that i wrote a while back, please read that first so that the writing will make sense :) AND these scenarios are LONG (esp. Chanyeol’s omg it took FOREVER) so i’m splitting this into two parts! enjoy :)

TW: kissing, sleeping in the same bed, mentions of food, slightly suggestive remarks, mentions of bullying, being held, sitting on his lap, mild cursing

Chanyeol:

You were both sent by the company to be on a new variety show called “Idol Roommates,” where a bunch of idols would be living together in the same house for a month. SM had sent you, Chanyeol, Yeri, and Ten, Hybe had sent Beomgyu, Jake, Sakura, and Minji, and JYP had sent Bangchan, Yuna, Lily, and and Gunil. The fans were super excited to see all of their favorite idols be roommates, and you had to admit, you were a little too excited to be living in such close proximity with Chanyeol.

The first episode began with you all arriving to the house with your label mates, and greeting all the other idols in the kitchen. There were cameras hidden all around the house, except for in the bathrooms, so you never really could tell what was being broadcasted and what wasn’t.

“So, what do we do first?” Sakura asked once everyone had arrived.

“Oh, there’s a note here on the table…” Bangchan said as he reached for it. “‘Welcome to your new home for the next month! In this bowl are all of your names. Please draw for your roommate and choose your rooms in order of your ages.’” he read aloud.

“Well, Chanyeol hyung is the oldest, so he goes first.” Ten explained, patting Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“Wow, you don’t have to rub it in.” Chanyeol joked, a playful smile on his face. Everyone laughed along with him, quieting down when he reached into the bowl to draw a name.

“Y/N.” he announced. Everyone turned to you expectantly. Yeri and Ten shot you mischievous grins, to which you blushed and looked away. They knew about your enormous crush on Chanyeol, how he had been your bias since high school, and how you used to have posters of him all over your wall. You shot them a dangerous glare before turning to Chanyeol.

“Alright, shall we go pick our room?” you proposed, desperate to get the attention off yourself.

“Yeah, let’s go!” he agreed, leading you up the stairs.

“This one looks the biggest.” you suggested after you had surveyed all the rooms.

He walked over from the other end of the hall and glanced inside the room you were talking about. “Alright, works for me!”

You had separate beds on opposite sides of the room, but it was still a little awkward. The two of you had several interactions in the past, and they were all pleasant, but mostly formal. You began unpacking your suitcases and shuffling around the room to get settled in silence.

As you did so, you could hear the other groupings running excitedly up the stairs to claim their rooms. Ten and Sakura were first, then Bangchan and Yeri. Gunil had picked Jake, then Beomgyu picked Lily, and that left Yuna and Minji together. Hearing the chatter of your colleagues in the background helped ease the tension a bit.

“Do you sleep with a light on?” Chanyeol asked suddenly, making you jump a bit.

You nodded sheepishly. “I’m a bit scared of the dark to be honest.”

“Ah, you’ll have to remind me. I don’t sleep with a light. Are you okay with having a fan on?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind that!” you told him, shuffling awkwardly. “I’m sorry you got stuck rooming with me. I know I’m not the most fun person in the world.”

“No, don’t be sorry… I’m actually relieved that I drew your name.” he told you reassuringly.

“Really?” you asked, cocking your head to the side in curiosity. “Why’s that?”

“Because you’re one of the few people I feel comfortable around in the idol world.” he answered, a tiny, bashful grin on his face.

You tried to ignore the flush creeping up your cheeks. “I feel the same way about you.”

Suddenly, Bangchan and Yeri appeared at your door. “Hey, are you guys ready for the debrief? We’re all heading downstairs now.” Chan asked.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Chanyeol replied, leading you out of the room. He followed Bangchan down the stairs, and with their backs to you, Yeri turned around and wiggled her brows at you. You pushed her forward a bit out of annoyance, causing her to tumble down the stairs by a few steps. You instinctively reached out for her, then looked at her, concerned. You both broke out into laughter, her gripping onto the railing and you holding onto her.

“That would’ve sucked.” Yeri chuckled, holding onto her stomach from laughing so hard.

—————

“Okay, so all the housework has been assigned.” Sakura declared, setting down her slice of pizza. “We’ll do meals in order of oldest to youngest, and chores in order of youngest to oldest.”

The production company had sent you all pizza for your first dinner, but you were instructed to prepare meals for the house for the rest of the time you would be there. That meant that you and Chanyeol would be preparing breakfast tomorrow.

For the remainder of the night, you all just chilled in the enormous living room and talked about all of your careers while a movie played on the TV. Conversation was flowing so smoothly that time just seemed to fly by, and before you knew it, everyone was getting up to get ready for bed, including you and Chanyeol.

“You can take a shower first.” he told you, sitting down at his bed to check his phone.

“Okay, thanks!” you chirped, making your way over to the bathroom.

Once you were done and in your pajamas, which embarrassingly enough had little kittens all over them, you padded your way back over to your own bed. “It’s all yours.” you told him.

“Awesome, be right back.” he responded, getting up from his bed. He did a double take as he looked at you. “Nice pajamas. They’re cute.”

You blushed, trying to focus on drying your hair. “Thank you. Kaori got them for me and I just can’t resist wearing them, even if they are kind of silly.”

“They’re perfect.” he smiled as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

You sighed, placing your hands on your cheeks to cool them off. Get it together Y/N. You’re on TV.

You went about the rest of your nightly routine, then curled up in bed to scroll on your phone for a bit. After a while, you heard the water shut off, meaning that Chanyeol was done with his shower. And then it happened. Everything went to black.

You yelped a bit at the sudden darkness, gripping onto your blankets.

“Guys?” you heard Gunil shout from down the hallway.

Everyone started emerging into the hallway with their phone flashlights on. “Is everyone okay?” you heard Lily ask.

“Everyone’s here except for Chanyeol and Y/N.” Jake stated. You heard shuffling down the hallway coming towards your room, which only made your anxiety worsen. You didn’t want any of your adult colleagues to see you scared out of your mind just because the electricity went out.

Just as you were preparing to face your housemates, Chanyeol emerged from the bathroom and practically sprinted over to the door with his own phone’s flashlight.

“Yeah, we’re both good in here.” he told your housemates from the doorway, shielding you from the view. “Since it’s the middle of the night anyway, I say we just all go to sleep. The production company’s cameras will have suddenly shut off, so I’m sure they’ll fix it by morning.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point.” Chan agreed. “Well, since everyone’s okay, let’s just go back to our rooms.”

Once everyone was back in their rooms, Chanyeol rushed over to you, sitting down on your bed. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice dripping with concern. You had never seen him so serious before.

“Yeah… just scared…” you shuddered, gripping onto your blankets.

“It’s okay, nothing is gonna happen to you. I promise.” he comforted you, patting your shoulder. “Do you think you can try to go to sleep?”

You thought for a moment, then shook your head. “I’d be too anxious. I know that nothing is going to happen to me, but it’s just a fear I’ve never been able to shake.”

He looked as if he was tossing an idea around in his head. Hesitantly, he looked back up at you. “Would you be able to sleep if we shared a bed?”

Your eyes went wide. Was Park Chanyeol actually offering to sleep in the same bed as you just so you would feel safe? It was as if all of your dreams were coming true in this moment.

You coughed awkwardly. “Well um… you don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable, but… it would definitely help.” you stuttered out.

“I don’t mind at all.” he told you, a comforting smile on his features. “I just want you to feel better.”

You grinned, feeling your heart swell with emotions, then scooched over to make room for him.

It was obviously a little bit awkward at first. You both faced away from each other, a good three inches of space between the two of you. You thought that was going to be how the rest of the night went, until you started shaking.

“Y/N, are you trembling?” Chanyeol asked, turning towards you.

You froze. “Um… yeah. I’m sorry. I’m just scared.” you sighed in humiliation.

“It’s alright… do you want me to hold you?” he offered, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I… I don’t want you to feel like you have to…” you spat out reluctantly, even though your heart was screaming at you to say yes immediately.

“I want to, Y/N.” he told you, a slight chuckle slipping out as he did so. “I mean, who doesn’t want to hold the person they like as they fall asleep?”

Your heart stopped. More than anything, you said in your head.

Your mouth fell open in shock, and you frantically flopped over to face him completely. “You like me?”

He nodded, a small smirk on his face. “I thought it was obvious.”

Your face broke out into a huge, toothy grin, and you lunged forward to hide your blushing face in his chest. He chuckled at your bashfulness, closing his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“Shall we get some sleep?” he asked.

You happily nodded in his hold. “I think I can manage now that I’ll have something to dream about.”

“Goodnight Y/N.” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead before curling up around you.

“Goodnight Chanyeol.”

————���

In the morning, you tumbled awake to see him sitting up against the headboard scrolling on his phone. “I was just about to wake you up.” he chuckled, ruffling your hair. “Did you sleep well?”

You nodded groggily, smiling through squinted eyes. “All thanks to you.” you curled into his side.

“Although you look super adorable right now, we really should get started on breakfast.” he suggested. “We don’t want everyone going hungry.”

“I suppose so…” you sighed, getting out of bed. You both threw on your robes and slippers and made your way downstairs to the kitchen.

“Alright, what are we working with?” Chanyeol inquired as he opened the fridge, inspecting its contents.

“Well first of all, we’re going to need lots of coffee.” you giggled, busying yourself with the coffee pot.

“Very true. I can get started on some eggs and bacon while you do that.” he decided, swiping the ingredients out of the fridge and moving over to the stove. You prepared breakfast in a comfortable silence, that was, until the front door swung open, and three suited men strode in. You recognized one as your manager, but had no idea who the other two were.

“Hyung? What’s going on?” Chanyeol asked one of the men you didn’t know. You now assumed it was his manager.

“Don’t worry, we shut the cameras off this morning.” the man responded to him. “However, the production manager would like to tell you something.” He turned to the last remaining unidentified man and looked at him begrudgingly. Your own manager looked equally as annoyed with the supposed production manager, tapping his foot impatiently.

The man sighed. “The electrical outage was staged last night. Cameras were rolling throughout the entire night, and everything that went on was broadcasted.”

“You mean… the fans saw…?” you asked meekly, feeling your heart drop into your stomach.

“Yes, they saw you and Chanyeol sleeping in the same bed and confessing to one another.” your manager told you, a sympathetic look in his eyes. “I’m sorry kid. They didn’t tell us about this, or else we would’ve told you not to act as if you were in private.”

“There is, however, a bit of good news that goes along with this.” Chanyeol’s manager interjected. “The fans are really happy about it.”

You both snapped your heads up in shock. “Really?”

“Our ratings went through the roof.” the production manager explained. “Just in the past eight hours, we’ve received more viewers than any of our previous pilot episodes combined.”

“What are they saying?” you inquired, still incredibly surprised that the response was positive. Fans were not usually supportive of idol romance, wanting to maintain their own personal fantasies about their idols being available. In fact, “Idol Roomates” was kind of a controversial show because it allowed male and female idols to live together as if they were couples.

“See for yourself.” your manager instructed, holding his phone out to you. You began scrolling through some recent tweets he had pulled up on his phone, Chanyeol looking over your shoulder to read them with you.

I TOLD YOU GUYS IDOL ROOMMATES WAS FIRE, NOW WE GET Y/N AND CHANYEOL CONTENT 🔥

channie was soooo sweet to comfort y/n while she was afraid of the dark 🥺 i love seeing him be so soft to her ❤️

that innocent forehead kiss!!! i love them so much!!! <3

“Wow… that’s amazing.” Chanyeol marveled, running a hand through his hair. “So… what now?”

“Well, that’s up to you guys.” his manager replied. “The company has given us the okay to either confirm or deny the relationship based on your wishes.”

You both glanced at the floor, thinking to yourselves for a moment. Suddenly, you looked up and realized that you didn’t owe anyone an explanation.

“Let’s not say anything.” you suggested. Everyone looked over to you with a slightly shocked expression.

“Nothing?” your manager asked. “You mean, just let them wonder?”

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea…” the production manager agreed, tapping his chin in thought. “They are the most popular couple on the show, and no matter what, there are going to be skeptics on whether or not it was staged. Why don’t we just let the show be an experiment?”

“And if we ever do develop a relationship, this can be looked back on as where it developed.” Chanyeol grinned, taking your hand in his.

You grinned at him appreciatively, then turned back to your manager. “Is that okay?”

He shrugged, an amused smile on his face. “It’s your call, kid.”

You looked back over at Chanyeol, who gave you a determined nod.

“Let’s do it.” you decided.

“Alright, case closed.” Chanyeol’s manager stated, clapping his hands together. “We’re going to see that you guys have a few minutes to speak with each other alone before they turn the cameras back on...” He shot a dirty look to the production manager before continuing. “… but other than that, we hope you have fun on the show. And please, don’t take it too far. Fans can be quite temperamental.”

As soon as the three men left the room, you turnt to Chanyeol. “Did you really mean that?”

“What? That I see us developing a relationship?” he asked, scratching his head with a cute smile. “I thought that much was obvious.”

You giggled, shaking your head at yourself. “This is the second time I’ve been completely oblivious. I feel like such a fool.”

“You’re not a fool.” he reassured you, pulling you into his arms for a tight hug. His height always allowed him to give the best hugs. He made you feel so safe and cared for. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Thank you…” you whimpered into his chest. “I really do want to make this work.”

“And it will.” he grinned, rocking you slightly. “I promise.”

You looked up, resting your chin on his chest. “I believe you. You promised nothing would happen to me last night, and you were right.”

He smiled down at you affectionately. “There’s one more thing I want to do with these last few minutes we’ll get alone.”

“Hm?” you asked, once again oblivious to his insinuation.

Before you even had time to register what was happening, his lips were on yours. His hands came up to hold onto your face and press himself further up against you. You held your breath, then relaxed into his arms, hands linking together behind his neck. He began to deepen the kiss, puckering his lips against yours repeatedly and darting his tongue between them periodically. When you were completely out of air, you pulled back, both of your chests heaving against one another.

“I can’t wait until this show is over and we can have some real privacy.” you grinned suggestively. “Now, shall we finish breakfast?”

D.O:

You rubbed your sweaty palms against the rough material of your jeans, taking a deep shaky breath as you waited in the recording studio. Usually when you were nervous in a place like this, it was because you were worried about messing up your notes or forgetting the lyrics. But that wasn’t the case today. You had practiced the drama’s OST relentlessly, and knew the song forwards, backwards, and sideways. What you were nervous about was the fact that you were going to be singing a duet with Do Kyungsoo.

Not only were you totally intimidated by his vocals, but you also had the most mortifying crush on him. Everyone at the company seemed to know about it except him, and you wanted to keep it that day. You just hoped you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself in front of him today.

You jumped as he entered the room, springing to your feet. He looked ungodly handsome, clad in a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up halfway and jeans.

“Hey Y/N.” he smiled warmly as you locked eyes. “How’s it going?”

“Hey, I’ve been really good!” you choked out, playing with the sleeve of your sweater. “How about you? I saw you guys were in Jeju Island last week. I mean, on Instagram, I wasn’t there stalking you or anything. Not that I’m not a fan, but…” you stopped yourself before you dug down into an even deeper hole.

He chuckled at your babbling, somehow finding it endearing. “We were, it was a really good trip. Although I almost threw Baekhyun off a cliff while we were hiking.”

“Oh, that’s not good! Accidents happen, I suppose.” you shrugged, brushing your hair back behind your ears. You could feel a thin layer of sweat on the back of your neck, a telltale sign that you were nervous. You had to tell yourself to calm down, you didn’t want to look sweaty when they filmed the video.

“Oh no, it would’ve been on purpose. He was being insufferable.” he explained, grinning evilly. God, he was so attractive.

You laughed, genuinely this time. “I get it. Sometimes I want to strangle the girls.”

He hummed in amusement. “Look at us, bonding over wanting to kill our members.”

You giggled at his comment, feeling yourself relax slightly. Maybe this isn’t going to be so ba-

“Alright guys, the company wants us to film the video now, so in the booth.” your manager decreed as he entered the room.

Nevermind.

“We don’t get a chance to practice at all?” Kyungsoo asked, looking understandably irritated.

“I’m sorry guys, they forgot about the deadline they gave the marketing team for the drama.” the other man explained sympathetically. “They need it within the next hour, and editing is going to need at least a half hour after we film it.”

“Awesome…” you sighed, grabbing a pair of headphones and following Kyungsoo into the booth.

You could feel your nerves getting the better of you, making your hands shake and your throat go dry, both of which would not be good for your performance.

Kyungsoo seemed to notice this, and grabbed your hand gently. Your heart stopped, making you freeze in place.

“Hey, you’ve got this.” he whispered with a comforting smile. “You have the voice of an angel.”

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach. He thought your voice was angelic?

“Alright guys, camera is rolling.” your manager said from the control panel. Music starting in 3…2…”

You exhaled as the music started, letting yourself ease up. You glanced over at Kyungsoo. He was looking at you with such kind, sensitive eyes. You couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your face as you began to sing your lines. When you were looking at him, it was really easy to belt out a love song.

He seemed to feel the same way as he started singing his own verse, his smile never faltering as he gazed into your eyes affectionately.

As you began to sing the chorus together, it was like the stars aligned. You were perfectly in synch, voices intertwining together like two rivers of golden honey merging into one. You were both putting so much passion and energy into the song, the lyrics resonating in both of your hearts as you looked at one another.

As the song came to a close, you both held your notes until the music ended, looking at each other breathlessly. Both of your eyes were twinkling, and you could feel chills running down your spine. That was the best duet you had ever sung with anyone.

“That was amazing you guys!” your manager suddenly said, snapping you out of your daze. “I don’t know how you guys did it perfect on the first try, but great job!”

“Uh, thanks!” you stammered, removing your headphones. You started to blush as you realized the amazing connection you and Kyungsoo had just had. Your anxiety was quickly returning, causing you to act without thinking.

You turned to him. “God, it’s hot in here. Are you hot? I mean, you are hot, I mean-“

He looked at you expectantly, as if you could possibly recover from that humiliating sentence. However, he didn’t look embarrassed at all. He had a hopeful glint in his eyes and an anticipated smile.

However, you were far too overwhelmed with your own nerves to notice. “Well, I’m gonna go home. See you later alligator!”

And with that, you bolted out of the studio and ran back to your dorm, not stopping until you were back in your bedroom. Nabi and Kaori were shouting after you, but you just ignored them, slamming your door behind you.

You collapsed your back against the door and slid down until you were on the floor, placing your head in your hands. “‘See you later alligator?’ What am I, 50?!”

—————

After a few hours of cycling through rotting in your bed, pacing the floor in anxiety, crying out of humiliation, and passing out from exhaustion, you were disturbed by yet another knock on your door. You groaned, assuming it was one of your members trying to talk to you again.

“Dude, I love you, but go away, I need to be alone.” you grumbled, pulling your pillow up over your head.

You heard the door open and someone walk in, but you didn’t have the energy to look up. Maybe if I stay really still, they’ll think I’m dead, and then they’ll leave, you thought.

You felt them sink down on the bed next to you and place a hand on your shoulder. “Y/N? Can we talk?”

You snapped up, eyes widening as you realized who was in front of you. “Kyungsoo!” You frantically fixed your hair and wiped your face. “Oh god, I look terrible…”

“No you don’t.” he chuckled, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You froze at his touch, relishing the feeling of his fingers in your hair before blinking back to reality. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I just thought you should know how well our OST is doing.” he grinned, pulling out his phone. You leaned forward to see the music video you made that already had millions of views in just a few short hours.

“Wow, people love it this much?” you asked in disbelief.

“That’s not all. Look at the comments.” he handed you his phone, and you did as he asked.

You know this drama’s gonna be good when they got Y/N AND Kyungsoo to sing the OST… total power vocal couple!

Y/N and Kyungsoo might as well be the main couple in the drama, their chemistry is insane

the way they sing the song to each other… my heart 💓 💓💓

You couldn’t help the giddy feeling that was blooming in your chest, attempting to fight off your smile to no avail. “They really like us, huh?”

He nodded, setting his phone back down. “There’s another reason I came here.”

“Hm?” you asked, cocking your head to the side in curiosity.

He took your hand in his, just as he had done in the recording booth earlier. “Y/N, you don’t have to be so nervous around me. I think you’re adorable, and I really like you.”

Fireworks went off in your stomach. “Y-you do?”

“Of course I do.” he laughed, shaking your hand in exaggeration. “Why do you think I asked to sing the OST with you?”

Your jaw unhinged in shock. “You asked to be paired with me?”

“Well yeah, how else was I going to get close to you?” he chuckled. “I was going to ask you out after we finished, but you ran away so quickly, I never got the chance.

You blinked at him a few times, then erupted into a fit of laughter. He joined you, doubling over slightly.

As you both settled down, he leaned in closer. “Will you go out with me?” he practically whispered.

You nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, yes! Of course I will!”

He smiled brighter than you had ever seen him do before, then slowly inched closer to your face. His eyes were focused on your lips.

Deciding you had been oblivious enough for one day, you took the hint and closed the distance between the two of you, crashing your lips onto his. He placed a hand delicately on your cheek, then began deepening the kiss, until you both pulled away, eyelids fluttering open slowly.

He smirked. “So, where do you want to go, angel voice?”

Kai:

“You’ve got it… you’ve got it…” Ten instructed you, guiding your movements. You were both in the dance practice room, covered in sweat as you went through the routine. You were working on a partner dance for your next solo album, and you wanted it to be with Ten, but somehow it just wasn’t going as planned. You were stumbling through the steps, there was no flow so your movements were jerky, and you somehow couldn’t shake the tense expression from your face.

As the music finished, you awkwardly caught your footing and struck the most pathetic ending pose you’d ever done. Ten gave you a crooked smile out of sympathy, which somehow made you feel ten times worse.

“Ugh, this is hopeless.” you sighed, throwing your hands up in resignation as you plopped down on the floor and leaned your back up against the mirror. “I’m never going to get this routine down in time.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault.” he attempted to reassure you, sitting down next to you. “You’re doing everything right. Sometimes, it just takes a little while to get the right feel for it.”

“Yeah, or I’m just a horrible dancer.” you huffed. You put your head in your hands and scrunched up your hair. The shoot was in two weeks, and this routine had to be perfect. Your fans deserved nothing less.

Ten was conflicted on what he should say next. On one hand, he wanted to tell you how amazing and talented you were, but on the other hand, he knew it wasn’t going to mean anything if you didn’t believe it yourself. He decided to grab a water bottle and hand it to you with a warm smile. “How about you just take a little break? I’m sure you’ll feel better in a few minutes.”

You smiled back at him, taking the water bottle from him gratefully. Your brow furrowed as he stood up and walked towards the door. “Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go find something that’ll help.” he grinned over his shoulder before leaving the room.

You shook your head at his cryptic behavior, then collapsed back against the mirror, staring up at the ceiling in desperation. Please God, if you’re listening, please send me something to help with this dance.

“Y/N?” you heard someone ask from the doorway.

You snapped your head down to see who it was, and smiled widely at the pleasant sight before you. “Kai! What are you doing here?”

“Just checking in on my favorite junior.” he smirked, shutting the door behind him as he strolled in. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his jacket as he stopped in front of you, looking you over with a concerned expression. “What are you doing on the floor?”

“Just taking a break.” you replied, stretching slightly. “I’m too bad of a dancer not to.”

He frowned, crouching down to your level to glare at you. “Don’t say that about yourself. You’re an amazing dancer.”

“You haven’t seen me practice this routine.” you chuckled. “I’m sure you would change your mind if you did.”

“Alright then, show me.” he demanded, standing back up and taking a step back.

“Wait, like now?” you asked, slowly getting up yourself. “You don’t even know the routine…”

“I’m sure I can improvise.” he grinned, taking his jacket off and throwing it to the side, leaving him in just a cutoff tank top and sweats. “What, do you doubt my skills?”

“Absolutely not.” you chuckled. You had been secretly admiring him since before you even became a trainee, in more ways than one.

You got into position and waited for the music to start, then thrust into action as you began the routine. The first half went almost perfect, as it was just your solo part. You began to get nervous as the duet portion approached, feeling your muscles begin to tense up.

Kai approached you and placed his hands gently on your waist, a focused spark in his eyes. He somehow knew the exact partner position, and began guiding you across the floor.

“Relax, relax…” he instructed calmly, “remember to breathe.” He spun you around and placed a hand on the small of your back.

You inhaled deeply, holding the breath in your chest for a bit, then exhaled and released all the tension you didn’t realize you were holding onto. You started being able to flow through the moves better, but now you were hyper-focusing the footwork.

“Hey, don’t look at your feet. Focus on me.” he brought you back to center once again, twirling you back to face him and placing his hands on the sides of your face.

You looked up at him, locking in on his pretty brown eyes. It was as if they were telling you exactly what you needed to do, and for a moment, your body was running on autopilot, and all you thought about was being close to him.

“Show me that pretty smile, white swan.” he chuckled with a playful grin, instantly making you giggle and blush.

You actually couldn’t believe that you were going through the entire routine without any problems, and as you struck the ending pose, you were absolutely speechless. “That was…”

“Brilliant!” Ten suddenly interrupted you, causing you to jump away from Kai defensively.

“T-Ten!” you stammered nervously. “We were just-“

“It’s okay, I told him to come here.” your best friend smirked from the doorway. “I found him in the hall and he asked how you were doing.”

“You did?” you asked, a touched lilt to your voice.

“I told you, I wanted to check in on my favorite junior.” Kai explained, brushing the hair out of his face with an innocent half smile. “Ten said you were having trouble with the dance, so I had him show me the training video, and then I told him I’d help you.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief...” you sighed, glad you didn’t have to explain yourself to Ten. “So, you’re not-?”

“Jealous? Hardly.” he chortled, shaking his head. “In fact, I think you should do the dance with Kai for your music video.”

Your jaw unhinged slightly in shock. “Really?”

“Oh yeah, the chemistry is way better. You really seem to enjoy yourself when you’re dancing with him.” he teased, winking at you inadvertently.

You shot him a warning glare, then turned back to Kai. “Is that alright with you?”

“It’d be my pleasure.” he grinned, extending his hand to you. “Shall we?”

—————

It had been a week since your latest solo comeback dropped, and all of Starlight was losing their minds over it. Albums sold out everywhere, you had already one two awards, and everywhere you went, you heard it being played on the radio.

After one of your performance stages, you were sitting in your dressing room, and decided to look over some of the comments on the music video again. You always loved seeing what your fans had to say about your work.

There were a lot about how pretty you looked, how beautiful your vocals were, and how proud of you your fans were, all of which made you giddy with appreciation. However, some were starting to stick out to you and pique your interest. Particularly, the ones about your dance with Kai.

the tension between Y/N and Kai is so thick you could cut it with a knife 👀

i don’t think i’ve ever seen our Y/N dance so well with anyone else than with Kai… i hope they do more stuff together :)

anyone else think Y/N and Kai would make the PERFECT couple??? just me???

You felt your cheeks grow red and warm at the insinuation. I mean, sure, you had been fantasizing about dating Kai for years now. But now that you knew your fans approved, it was all the more flustering.

“Knock knock.” someone interrupted your thoughts as they entered your dressing room.

You looked up, then scoffed playfully. “Kai, if you keep showing up unannounced, I’m going to have to start locking my door. I could’ve been bare faced!”

“And you’d still look just as beautiful.” he commented, smiling at you genuinely.

You pouted your lips affectionately, then stood up to hug him. “Thank you so much.”

“Me? What for?” he asked, wrapping his arms around you to reciprocate the hug.

“If it wasn’t for you, I never would’ve gotten that dance down.” you beamed into his shoulder.

A quiet chuckle rang through your ears. “You already had everything you needed to accomplish it. I just pointed you in the right direction.”

You gave him one final squeeze, then invited him to sit down on the couch with you. “So, what brings you all the way here?”

“Well, I had to admit, seeing you do the dance with that backup dancer on stage made me pretty jealous.” he replied, a more serious expression appearing on his face.

“Oh?” you inquired, folding your hands in your lap. “Is that so?”

He nodded slowly. “Indeed. I was going to let it go, but after reading some of the comments on your music video, I was inspired to do something about it.”

Your heart soared as you imagined him reading the exact comments as you had read previously. Did he feel the same butterflies when he read them over?

“And what exactly are you going to do?” you asked, feeling your nerves vibrate harder with every passing second.

“I want to ask you out.” he told you. He leaned in closer to you, to where you could see the sparkle in his eyes. “Is that alright?”

“Yes, it is.” you replied, letting a huge smile plaster itself across your face. “And yes, I’ll absolutely go out with you.”

He replicated your large grin, patting your leg affectionately. “That’s wonderful. Because I don’t want you dancing with anyone else.”

You chuckled, squeezing his hand a bit. “Well, you’re going to have to fight my members for that right.”

He thought to himself for a moment, then shook his head. “I don’t think I could take them, they’re pretty tough. I’ll settle for being the only guy you dance with.”

“Deal.” you giggled, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on his cheek. “Thank you again, Kai.”

“You’re welcome, white swan.” he chimed. He rose up from his seat and walked over to the door. “I’ll leave you to unwind. I’ll text you later to set up the date, okay?”

You nodded, waving goodbye to him. “Sounds good, talk to you later!”

You turnt back to your mirror, beginning to brush out your curls. However, you were startled as Kai ran back into the room quickly.

He placed a bouquet of flowers on the vanity in front of you, then kissed you on the cheek briskly. “I almost forgot, these are for you. Congratulations on such a good comeback.”

Sehun:

“Excuse me, pardon me, ‘it girl’ coming through!” Nabi declared as you made your way through the busy photo shoot studio.

“Ugh, shut up Nabi!” you scowled over your shoulder at her. “I hate it when you call me that!”

“Hey, I’m not the only one.” the leader shrugged, chuckling mischievously. “Everyone calls you that nowadays.”

“Well, I’d prefer to only deal with it when I’m being interviewed.” you scoffed, setting your bag down at your vanity.

“Spoken like a true queen.” Nabi smirked, crossing her arms across her chest.

You rolled your eyes. “Why did you even come with me today?”

The younger girl shrugged. “You’ve been stressed lately. I figured I’d tag along to make sure you have a comedic buffer.”

You softened at her kind gesture, touching her arm lightly. “That’s really sweet of you.”

“They also always have huge snack buffets at these things.” she added. “I’m gonna go get a plate, okay?”

You went back to your previous mood, sighing and sitting down. “Yeah, just get me some chips.”

You watched her skitter off to the snack table, shaking your head at her. In front of the other girls, she was a strict, stern dictator. But around you, the only member older than her, she was a true child. However, she was your best friend, so you tried to find it endearing.

“Y/N?” a deep voice inquired from behind you.

You spun around in your chair and gawked at the realization of who stood in front of you. “Sehun?!”

He smiled at your surprise, holding out his arms in a dramatic gesture. “In the flesh.”

You sprung up out of your chair in an instant, practically jumping into his arms to give him a hug. He stumbled backwards a bit, laughing at your sudden affection, then caught his footing and wrapped his arms around you.

“I’ve missed you so much!” you told him, pulling away. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for the Valentine’s Day shoot.” he replied.

You knit your brows together in confusion. “Really? Because this is…” You looked around the studio, then it dawned on you. There were heart shaped decorations and pink balloons everywhere, and the studio had a romantic, dim lighting.

“Oh… they didn’t tell me this would be a couple’s shoot…” you chuckled awkwardly.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. “Really? That’s strange. Maybe they knew you’d be nervous if you were told ahead of time that you’d be doing a shoot with the Great Oh Sehun.” He flipped his hair dramatically, a cocky smirk on his face.

You scrunched your nose up, hitting him on the arm playfully. “Ugh, don’t be so smug. It doesn’t suit you.” You were actually just trying to hide the fact that he was right.

Sehun had been slowly becoming one of your best friends at the company, ever since that day he walked in on you being bullied by a bunch of female trainees and silenced all of them with his presence. He was actually competing with Yeri, Ten, and Karina for a spot on your BFF list.

However, you had always secretly hoped for more with him. He was so kind, even though he could seem cold at first, and he always made you laugh. He was so caring, despite how hard he tried not to be, and had incredible wit and humor. Plus, there was the fact that he was incredibly handsome. Like, obnoxiously so. But, as much you wanted things to go to the next level, they remained stagnant. Neither of you were the most upfront about your feelings.

“There you guys are!” the director suddenly clapped his hands behind you, pulling you away from your conversation. “I’ll let makeup and wardrobe know you’re here, and we should be able to start shooting in about an hour.”

You both nodded and thanked him, then turned back to one another.

“See you behind the camera.” Sehun proposed with a minuscule wink that was so small you wouldn’t have caught it if you hadn’t been admiring his features so closely these past few years.

You sent him one last smile, then turned back to your vanity while he strode over to his own.

Suddenly, Nabi reappeared next to you with a plate full of snacks. “What was that about?” she asked, crunching on a pretzel.

“Oh nothing, I just have to do an amorous photo shoot with my secret crush.” you grumbled, falling back against your chair with your hands bunched up in your hair. “Did you get my chips?”

Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“Nabi! Either be helpful or leave!”

—————

The hour of makeup and wardrobe went by way too fast for your liking. You had been trying to build up your courage to no avail. It seemed hopeless. How on Earth were you going to do a romantic couple’s shoot with your crush without it looking you were hopelessly devoted to him? Not that you weren’t, you just didn’t need the whole world knowing it. That would be mortifying, not to mention a total career killer.

You walked over to the photo setup, which featured a red velvet sofa and a table with an extravagant bouquet of flowers. You swallowed the hard lump in your throat, making one last stitch effort to calm yourself down. Settle down, Y/N. It’s just a photo shoot with your colleague. I’m sure he won’t even be-

“Is this chain on straight?” your thoughts were interrupted by the man in question. You flipped around to see him dressed in a deep v-neck black blazer with a white button-up shirt underneath, the top three buttons undone to reveal his chest, adorned with a glimmering silver chain necklace. His thick black locks were tousled and textured perfectly around his forehead, and his skin was practically glowing.

Okay nevermind, time to panic.

“Holy shit, you look hot.” you heard yourself speak, although you don’t remember making the decision to. Instant regret flooded your brain, and you immediately began apologizing. “Oh my god, I meant the chain looks hot. I’m sorry. I mean, not that you’re not hot, I just…”

“Thank you.” he cut you off, a pleased smile evident on his features. “You look hot too.”

Your heart practically jumped out of your chest. “Th-Thank you…” You were sure your face was as red as a tomato. However, you had to admit, you did look pretty hot in your tight red dress, pearls, vampy lipstick, and red strappy heels.

“Alright, we’re ready to get started!” the director declared from his chair. “Sehun, I’d like to start with you laying on the couch horizontally. Y/N, go ahead and sit on his lap facing the camera.”

You did as instructed, although uncomfortably. He sensed your tension and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“It’s okay, just relax.” he suggested, a reassuring smile directed at you.

You gave him an appreciative grin, loosening up and leaning into his form.

“Okay, now Sehun, put your chin on Y/N’s shoulder and rest your head against her neck. Y/N, just keep looking forward.”

The camera flashed a few times, with a few breaks in between to look over the shots.

“I’m really proud of you, you know.” Sehun told you while the camera crew was busy.

“What do you mean?” you asked him, laying against the back of the couch.

“You’ve come a long way from the girl I met who was letting some older trainees pick on her.” he teased. “I’ll never forget the look on your face when I appeared next to you.”

You laughed at the memory. “And I’ll never forget the looks on those girls’ faces when you told them off.”

He joined you in your laughter. “Notice how none of them are at the company anymore, and how you’re the ‘it girl’ now?”

You smiled contentedly. “Everyone seems to be calling me that these days.”

He suddenly scooped you up in his arms and pulled you down to his chest, ruffling your hair affectionately. “You’ve always been my ‘it girl’ Y/N, from day one.”

You squealed as he caged you in his arms, feigning resistance. A sudden flash went off, and you both looked up to see the camera crew staring at you blankly.

“Ah, sorry guys, that was my fault...” a feeble intern announced nervously. “I accidentally hit the wrong button.”

“Wait, let me see that shot…” the director demanded, motioning for the camera to be brought over to him. He looked it over, then turnt to you both with a baffled expression. “This is it. This is our cover photo.”

“What? No way.” you marveled, getting up and walking over to the director. Sehun followed you, catching you as you stumbled a bit in your heels. You looked at the photo, and soon you were both making the same face that the director had made a few seconds ago. “Woah… this is amazing…”

“Look at how beautiful you are…” Sehun commented, taking in the picture lovingly.

You blushed, nudging him slightly.

The director clapped his hands dramatically, snapping you both back to reality. “Alright, let’s keep this energy going! Next I want a shot of Y/N pulling Sehun in by his chain!”

—————

A few days later, you were chilling out at the dorm with your members, having a much needed girls’ night. All of your favorite snacks were laid out on the coffee table, you were all in your pajamas, and there was a cheesy rom-com playing on the TV, even though none of you were paying attention to it. You were far too busy gossiping, squealing, and beautifying each other. It might have been stereotypical girl behavior, but it was incredibly therapeutic.

“Everyone shut up!” Nabi suddenly decreed, jumping up on the couch and holding something behind her back.

You looked up from braiding Kaori’s hair. “Oh god, what is it now?”

The younger girls all laughed, finding it hilarious that you were the only one able to talk to Nabi like that.

“Well ‘it girl,’ it just so happens that I have the most recent issue of Elle in my hands.” the leader grinned evilly, brandishing the magazine out in front of her.

The other three girls all gasped and rushed over to grab at it, except for Iseul, who just jumped up and down excitedly. Her nails were still wet from Marie painting them a few minutes ago.

“Oh my god, you look so hot!” Marie marveled, flipping through the glossy pages.

“Yeah, and this one of you pulling Sehun in by his chain is just perfect!” Iseul nodded in agreement.

“Wait, the shoot was with Sehun?” Kaori asked, her eyes going wide with innocent shock.

“Yes Kaori, we talked about it three days ago. Keep up.” Marie groaned at the maknae.

“Hey, be nice.” you warned protectively. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yeah right. You’ve only been in love with him for years now.” Nabi challenged you, jumping down from the couch.

“I am not in love with him.” you rolled your eyes. “Besides, he doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“The fans seem to think differently.” Nabi commented smugly, whipping out her phone. “Look what they’re saying on Elle’s post about it.”

You snatched the phone out of her hand and began to skim over the comments.

you could tell me the cover shot was totally improvised and i’d believe you… their affection looks so real <3

who knew the oldest member of Etoile and the youngest member of EXO would make such a fire couple? TOTAL goals!

The fact that they’ve been friends since Y/N was a trainee makes this so much cuter… they’re clearly in love with each other 💞

These two OWN Valentine’s Day now 😤

“Look at how big her smile is!” Kaori grinned admiringly at you.

“I know, it’s so cute!” Marie added, wrapping her arms around your maknae and twirling her around. “‘Oh Sehun, please marry me!’”

“‘Oh Y/N, I’d love to make you my wife!’” the younger girl acted out, giggling madly.

You scowled, trying not to laugh along with them. “How come you two only get along when it’s at my expense?”

You all froze as the sound of a phone ringing suddenly cut through the noise.

You looked over at the end table to see your phone lit up and vibrating. You picked it up and unhinged your jaw as you saw who it was from. “It’s Sehun. I’m gonna go take this.” You got up and rushed down the hall to your bedroom.

The three youngest members attempted to follow you, but Nabi stood protectively in front of the hallway. “Nope, no one is eavesdropping. This should be private.” Marie, Iseul, and Kaori started pouting and vocalizing their protest. That was, until Nabi gave them her signature glare. “Living room, now.” She really was a great leader when she wanted to be.

Shutting your door behind you, you answered the call. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/N, it’s me.” Sehun said from the other end. He sounded uncharacteristically anxious.

“Hey, is everything okay?” you asked in a concerned manner.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” he coughed nervously. “I just wanted to… you know….”

“Wanted to what?” you giggled, sitting down on your bed.

You heard him exhale momentarily as if mentally preparing himself for something. “If you’d like to go out with me for Valentine’s Day?”

Your breath hitched in your chest. “What?”

“Don’t make me say it again…” he sighed, clearly having trouble being this forward. “I just… we had so much fun at the shoot together… and you’re just so cool, and fun, and pretty. I’ve never really known how or when to say it, but… something about that couples’ shoot just pushed me to go for it. So will you?”

You clutched onto your chest as if it was the only thing keeping you grounded to Earth. “Yes… yes, of course I will!”

“Really?” he marveled, sounding genuinely surprised. “I can’t believe you agreed.”

“Sehun, I’ve literally been waiting for you to ask me out for years now.” you chuckled. “You’re the worst at picking up on signals.”

“Yeah, well you’re not very good at sending them.” he teased, clearly getting his confidence back.

You laughed cutely into the phone. “We’re not very good at this are we…”

“No, not at all.” he chortled, shaking his head. You could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. “And just so you know… I meant it when I said that you’ve been my ‘it girl’ since day one.”

You blushed with a small smile. “I usually hate it when people call me that. But with you, it feels good.”

“Well, I’ll have to call you by that name as much as possible. Then you can be mine exclusively, and no one else’s.” he replied.

You laughed once again, feeling like a giddy school girl. “I always have been, remember?”

He laughed at your sudden cockiness, knowing that you definitely learned it from him. “I’ll see you on Valentine’s Day?”

You nodded, feeling your lips curl up into a grin. “I’ll see you then.”

“Goodnight, my ‘it girl.’”

“Goodnight Sehun.” you giggled, hanging up the phone. You then threw it across the room and flopped back onto your bed, rolling around and kicking your feet in ecstasy.

“Y/N! What happened?” Marie suddenly burst through your door, followed by the other girls. You assumed Nabi held them off as long as she could, but eventually lost strength. There were three of them after all.

You sat up, brushing your hair out of your face. “Guess who’s going out with Sehun on Valentine’s Day!”

The four girls all screamed and jumped on your bed, showering you with praise and congratulations. You laughed as you captured them all in a group hug. It was then that you realized you didn’t need to be the ‘it girl’ to be happy, you just needed moments like these. And with Sehun, they seemed to just keep coming.

[justwritedreams]

Sin | Jongin

Idol!Jongin x Reader

Word count: 2.344

Genre: fluff, slight angst, smut.

Author: maari 

Warnings: MDNI!! THIS IS A +18 STORY Explict words and filthy studio sex, oral (fem receiving), sex without condom (don't do this at home), heartbroken Sehun 😞.

Note: WELL i'm proud of this one and I won't even going to deny it lol My stories with Kai are usually short so I don't fall in love with him BYE

Request: I have something we’re he’s at the studio with his s/o and they make out and end up having sex and one of the boys walks in on the (who are you pick had a crush on y/n) and gets mad because he told Kai he liked her and they argue but y/n tells x that she’s only interested in Kai

⫷ Exo Masterlist

Y/N was trying to control her smile as her body moved on its own to the beat that sounded through the studio's speakers.

"What do you think?" Jongin asked, after the preview he played for her ended.

She looked at him, smiling proudly.

“It’s different from what you’ve done before, but it’s your vibe.”

Jongin sighed, relieved. He closed the file on the computer and turned completely to face her.

“I wanted to try new things for this album.”

“You did it, I'm sure everyone will love it as much as I love it.” she winked at him, seeing him smirk.

"Thanks for being here." he got up from the chair and sat next to her on the couch, his shoulder lightly touching hers. "Means a lot."

Y/N tried to hide her huge smile while feeling the butterflies in her stomach, that's why, unable to think of what to say, she just put her hair behind her ear, looking away a little shyly.

“Well, it’s not like I can deny you anything.” she confessed, wetting her lips with her own tongue and looking back at him.

Jongin kept his eyes fixed on her, raising an eyebrow.

"Anything?" he asked, interested and she narrowed her eyes without understanding what was going on in his head. “So if I tell you that it wasn’t for nothing that I asked you to come here.”

Jongin then brought his body even closer, cornering Y/N between the couch and his strong chest. All she did was take a deep breath, unable to take her eyes off Jongin's dark iris.

He looked at her as if she were the only woman in the world and hadn't even truly touched her.

That was enough to make her tremble all over.

“I would tell you that I already imagined it.” she replied quietly, without any strength.

Not when the heat of his body covered hers so deliciously.

Y/N saw Jongin smile widely before projecting his torso forward and bringing his face to hers so that their lips met in a slow sensual dance, just like the rhythm of the preview he had played earlier.

One of his hands went to her cheek while Y/N's trembling hands went to his chest, even though it was covered by the sweater he was wearing, she felt his heart beating quickly in her palm.

The kiss that was enough to take all of Y/N's breath away was broken by Jongin as he pressed their foreheads together. When she felt his penetrating gaze on her, she opened her eyes to find complicity there. Something that made her legs feel wobbly, as always did when she was with him.

They hadn’t yet described what type of relationship they had, they were together in secret. Nobody knew they were making out in empty hallways or in each other's houses.

It was a mutual agreement, after all, what no one knew, no one ruined, but that didn't mean that the feeling wouldn't grow because Y/N was sure that with each touch Jongin made, she fell in love even faster and deeper.

She knew that trying to stop this from happening was impossible since Jongin was addictive. It was like that the first day they met and it was still like that every time they kissed.

He began another kiss, this time faster, as their tongues met again and their hands were no longer so shy, they roamed each other's bodies.

Y/N imagined it would just be another make out session they would have, her fire seemed to complete Jongin's and they couldn't keep their hands off each other, but it wasn't like that tonight.

Involved by the preview played earlier, the atmosphere in the studio became much more sensual after the kisses, which no longer seemed to be enough.

Her neck was already marked and wet from his devoted kisses on her skin when he started to lift her blouse, making her body and also her pussy combust.

Mainly because he was between her legs when he started to take off the piece of clothing, which she promptly helped him do, considering that she wouldn't be crazy enough to stop his caresses.

His big, warm hands found her breasts and she sighed loudly, feeling her belly squirm inwardly as her panties were soaked.

Jongin had that power over her, his kisses were enough to make her go out of orbit. And he knew it, so much so that his nimble fingers promptly took off the bra she was wearing and his mouth found her breasts, giving the same attention to the hot flesh that his lips and tongue gave to Y/N's mouth.

For her, controlling the moans was an impossible task that she knew she had no control over, that's why she let the studio be filled with her sounds of pure pleasure as her hips tried to rub against Jongin's.

But he was too far away and his intentions were different at that moment, Y/N felt her whole body shiver when he lightly bit the skin of her navel and his fingers found the button of her pants.

She helped him, a little clumsily, to take off her pants and he knelt on the floor, staring at the white panties she was wearing with pure thirst, his fixed eyes made her pussy tremble, yearning for what was to come.

Her panties suffered the same fate as her clothes and her eyes rolled and closed when his finger found her throbbing clit.

Her hips rolled against his hand of their own accord and he approved, starting to move at a pace so slow that it bordered on torture.

Y/N's mouth was already dry and open, her moans were more constant and when she opened her eyes again she saw Jongin bringing his face closer to her pussy.

She trembled from head to toe before feeling his lips against her hot, wet flesh, he placed a soft kiss before extending his tongue out and closing his eyes to eat her like a starved caveman.

Y/N's hand went to his hair, squeezing the strands between her fingers as she felt his wet tongue mix against her own juice that dripped from her pussy, she moaned his name over and over as it was the only thing that her brain could remember at that moment.

His tongue was precise, he knew exactly what to do and how to make her reach orgasm, he alternated between her clitoris and her hot entrance, and he murmured in approval as he felt her inner muscles contract every time he fucked her with the tongue.

But Y/N closed her legs against his face when Jongin kept his tongue on her clit while his fingers worked quickly at her entrance, going back and forth in such a delicious movement that it didn't take long for her to cum for the first time that night.

She tried to take deep breaths as she spasmed and he drank all the juice she had released.

When their hungry eyes met, Jongin's clothes were quickly removed so that Y/N's slender hands could find his hard cock, she stroked it slowly and managed to elicit a few low moans from him. She wanted to make him as ready and thirsty as she was, and she was prepared to do it with her mouth before he stopped her.

"I need you now." He pleaded and she smiled mischievously.

Jongin sat on the couch and Y/N positioned herself on his lap, he directed his dick to her entrance and the moment their eyes met again, he made her sit hard.

Y/N moaned loudly and closed her eyes, her hands resting on his shoulders as Jongin squeezed her waist with a force that would probably leave marks.

She felt his dick pulsating inside her and without being able to control her desire, she began to move.

He moved at the same pace, feeling her hot inside and tight enough for him to bite his own lip.

He helped her keep the rhythm but it didn't seem enough, it had to be faster, so he helped her move up and down on his dick and the sounds began to echo around the studio in perfect synchronization as her nails dug into his skin.

Moans, the sound of their skin slapping together, everything was so erotic and so right that it made Y/N feel dizzy.

“You take my cock so well.”

"Fuck."

Throwing her head back, she hugged him around the neck and he held her more tighter around the waist, getting up from the sofa so he could lean her against the wall. Y/N hugged his waist with her legs and their position made him enter deeper into her pussy, this time not only moans came out but also screams of pleasure.

Jongin thrust hard and deep, he went fast and Y/N felt her new orgasm form in her womb as her skin shivered and her toes trembled with excitement.

"Look at me. I want to face you while you cum on my cock.“ He placed a hand on her chin and made her look him in the eyes, without having the strength to look away.

He then took his hand off her face and brought it to her clitoris, where he made circular movements, making her scream even more and feel her whole body shake as the orgasm came strong.

“Babe…” she whispered, weak and breathless.

Seeing her so intoxicated as her cum dripped out, Jongin continued his thrusts until his body shook and his own orgasm came with force.

He moaned softly and buried his face in the back of her neck as they tried to catch their lost breath.

“If I had known this was the kind of thing you wanted to do with me in the studio, I would have come sooner.” she said, laughing and caressing the back of Jongin's head.

He laughed and placed a kiss on her skin before helping her get off his lap, Y/N felt her legs weak and leaned on his shoulder.

“I should have brought you sooner.” He responded and led her back to the couch.

Y/N lay down, tired and saw Jongin take her panties and helped her put them on, making her smile slightly at the gesture.

He put on his own underwear and Y/N was wearing her bra when suddenly the door was opened without delicacy.

“So that’s how it’s going to be.”

Y/N widened her eyes and covered her body with her arms when Sehun entered the studio furious and red.

Jongin remained standing, looking at his friend seriously.

“This is how you repay me after I shared a secret with you.” Sehun said, angry as he stood in front of Jongin.

"It wasn’t on purpose." he explained, the tone of his voice not so calm.

Sehun laughed, bitterly.

“Of course not, but it didn’t stop you from fucking Y/N right here.” he pointed towards the studio as she felt her face burn. “Right after I told you I liked her.”

Y/N felt her jaw drop and looked at the youngest without knowing what to think.

Did Sehun like her? Since when?

“And what did you want me to do, huh? Stop seeing her?” Jongin questioned, irritated. “You also know that I’m in love with her.”

She felt the corners of her mouth lift into a surprised smile.

She always imagined that but she never heard Jongin say it out loud, so hearing those words was a very nice surprise, knowing that he reciprocated her feelings.

“But I didn’t sleep with her right after.” Sehun accused, hurt and Y/N felt her heart sink.

One of the reasons why she wanted to admit what she felt for Jongin right away was precisely so that everyone would know what was going on between them, without any more secrets.

But she never imagined that Sehun also liked her and that he would be in the studio at the exact moment when she and Jongin couldn't control the need to be together in the most carnal and intimate way possible.

“Sehun.” she called him, getting up from the couch.

And he looked at her, completely hurt.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt that way.” She pressed her lips into a thin line. “If I had known, I would have explained to you earlier that I have been interested in Jongin for a long time.” He nodded silently. “It’s nobody’s fault.”

An unbearable silence fell in the studio, until Sehun sighed.

“You’re right, but that doesn’t change the fact that my friend betrayed me.”

Y/N opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out and Sehun walked away in long strides, leaving both of them with nothing to say behind.

She passed her hand over her face and looked at Jongin, he shook his head as he looked at the door.

“I think I better leave.” she announced quietly and turned to pick up her clothes.

However, he stopped her, holding her arm.

"Come to my home."

She took a deep breath before looking at him.

“Jongin, but Sehun-”

“I won’t walk away from you because of him.” he spoke firmly. "I can't anymore."

She smiled slightly.

"What do you mean?"

He smiled, moving closer to tuck her hair behind her ear and caress her cheek.

“That if being in love with you is a sin, then I will sin again.”

She bit her lower lip.

“No more sex in the studio?”

He laughed, hugging her around the waist and touching their foreheads.

“I can't promise that.” He kissed the tip of her nose, making her close her eyes. “Not after the sounds you made in here.” he kissed her cheek, purposely in the corner of her mouth. “The scenes are engraved in my head and will hardly ever fade out.”

“Then I guess we will sin together.”

[mieczyslawn]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ exo✶icons

[jongbross]

don't even think about other things (kim jongin x f!reader)

pairing: kim jongin x f!reader word count: 821 genre: smut warnings: mature content, p in v, riding, cursing, dirty talk?, jongin being the best boyfriend in the world a/n: wrote this some while ago. hope you all like it <3

“i got you”, jongin whispered in your ear, licking his lips before kissing your neck and sucking on your skin. you moaned at his actions.

goddamn right he did. his promise to make you oblivion to all the shit that was going on in your life? he kept it. he told you he would make you feel good, cry and shake inside his arms while fucking you so good you would even forget your own name - and he did, all of it. his arms were holding you close, pushing you down to his lap as your legs straddled him. even though you were on top of him, he still had the upper hand; jongin was still the one dictading all of your moves.

his main goal was to make you forget everything you complained about earlier. your job was overwhelming you? your boss was being an asshole? your family asked way more than what you could do for them? don’t worry, he got you. he said he would, so he did.

jongin bit your shoulder while squeezing your ass in both hands, heavenly breathing when you moaned at his touch. he looked at you, lustful eyes burning your skin as his gaze went all around your face, collarbones, chest and breasts. damn, you were so beautiful.

“i love you”, he said without even thinking, lips making their way down the valley of your breasts, sucking everything they came in touch with.

you whined, both hands holding the back of jongin’s neck and scratching his skin, making him moan against your skin. 

he couldn’t wait anymore. one of his hands let go of you, stroking his length as his grip on your waist got stronger, a silent cue for you to align your entrance. and so you did it, slowly pushing your hips down, sinking on him and taking in the sight of jongin moaning, head threw back, veins on his throat popped up.

you closed your eyes, letting go of everything and relaxing your entire body. every single muscle gave in, flat as the sensation of being filled up by jongin became too much to you. he felt you shaking, and instantly wrapped both of his arms around you again, pulling you closer to his chest.

jongin’s movements started so lightly, so careful. he bucked his hips up over and over, thrusting into you with such a teasing pace - and you didn’t need no teasing.

“baby, please…”, you whined. you pressed your body harder against his own, burying your face into his neck. “harder.”

he groaned at your words, hands now caressing your waist before grabbing it, fingers sinking on your skin. jongin started to thrust deeper, harder, faster. every time he got out and into you again you made a new sound, breathing hot against his skin, nails holding his shoulders for dear life.

your mind went blank. there was not a single problem in this world that could distract you from that moment, not a single person could make you not focus on jongin. you made a mental note to thank him later - for being so good at fucking you, so good at taking care of you; for cheerishing you, putting your well being on top of his own. for being the best partner you could ever ask for.

“look at me”, he whispered to you.

the moment you did, jongin sighed at the sight of you. he didn’t waste a single moment, locking his lips to yours and moaning against them. his movements somehow increased, fingers starting to stick to your sweaty skin. he let you take control over the kiss, deciding whether you wanted slow or fast, hard or soft.

you only broke to kiss to loudly moan jongin’s name, throwing your head back as you felt him hit your sweet spot. jongin looked at you, eyes piercing through your soul. he slid one of his hands to between your bodies, fingers quickly finding your clit and starting to make their magic upon you.

“baby…”, you managed to say.

“shhh, i got you”, he repeated. “cum for me.”

his words gave you the cue, as you came hard and loudly, whining his name over and over again, feeling the best sensation in the world washing over you. in any other moment, any other day, you would do your best to make him cum too, to feel him either inside you or all over your stomach; but tonight, you were feeling selfish enough to only care about your own pleasure.

jongin didn’t mind though. he smiled while watching you cum, movements becoming sloppier to match the way your body relaxed against him. when you sighed, laying on top of him and slightly chuckling, his smile got wider.

“you okay?”, jongin asked, after a few moments.

“i love you”, was all you could manage to reply. “i love you so much.”

you heard jongin giggling. he loved you too.

[marshmallow-phd]

Genre: Regency Gothic AU

Pairing: EXO x Reader

Summary: A stormy night brought you to the manor in the middle of the woods. Nine strange men occupied its halls. They won't let you leave. A dangerous secret haunts this estate. Learning it might either be your saving grace or it could lead to the last breath you ever take.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5

**

Lightning lit up the thin curtains covering the two small windows on either side of the carriage. Thunder rumbled and you felt it deep within your chest. Tugging your silk cloak closer, you closed your eyes and prayed that the driver would get you through the storm. There was no one to comfort you, to reassure you that a little rain and noisy sky wouldn't delay your journey.

Your father had insisted you take your sister or even a friend, but the two day’s journey didn’t  seem consequential enough to need a companion. Besides, what would they have done once you arrived? Your elderly aunt had only asked for you. From what you could decipher from her letter, she needed you to be a companion as she traveled to the southernmost coastal town. Apparently, it was now the ultimate fashion to travel to for the summer. Just the idea of rolling waves made your stomach churn. But what was worse was who else would be there–

The carriage jolted to the right. You spread out your arms, only barely catching yourself from falling to the floor. No sane person would have endured such dangerous weather. This storm had come from nowhere. Skies blue and cloudless as you had ever seen bid you farewell in the late morning. Most of the day's journey had been uneventful. Then the joyful light faded. Thunder shook the walls of the carriage. Rain pounded on the roof. When would you reach the inn? Bile rose up in your throat, burning the sensitive tissue as the carriage continued to rock violently. The horses neighed over the sounds of the storm. 

The carriage shifted hard to the left. And kept falling. You slammed into the door, nearly opening it with the force. You didn't know what was happening. The floor was now the wall and the wall the floor. A downward momentum made it impossible to stand. Screams ripped at your throat.

Then it stopped. 

The rain continued to pour and the thunder roared on but the carriage was still. Your legs wobbled as you slowly stood. With your palms, you pushed open the door. The thin wooden panel clapped against the outside of the carriage. Immediately you were pounded by the storm. Large drops pelted your face, obscuring your vision. It was dark. You could tell that much. And there were trees. In every direction. 

You climbed out of the carriage, calling for the driver. Your feet slipped in the mud, but you managed to keep your balance–for now. The mud was thick and sticky as you trudged to the front of the carriage.

 No. No, no, no. Both of the horses were gone. And so was the driver. Somehow, the carriage had fallen down a hill or ravine. With a storm this terrible, you needed to get to higher ground or risk possibly being carried away–or drowning. Clawing and digging your hands and feet into the soaked dirt, you climbed the hard incline back to the road. 

Once you could make out the road, you called for the driver again. No answer. He was nowhere to be found. You needed to find shelter. The storm gave no promise of letting up. You wouldn't survive the night in this forest, even if you went back into the carriage. The only choice was to find sanctuary. You stared in the direction you believed you came from. Nothing but trees and darkness. You turned to the other choice. All the same–wait. 

There was something... when lightning brightened up the sky. Your heart began banging in your ears. Spires, towers. Not trees. It was some distance away, but it was shelter nonetheless. 

With near tears in your eyes, you picked up your skirts–your fingers numb from the cold���and hurried towards the castle that could be your saving grace. 

*****

The manor was calm tonight. Odd, considering the amount of bodies roaming around these haunted halls. Only the beautiful storm outside and Chanyeol's sorrowful melody from the piano broke the silence. Jongin had draped himself over one of the arm chairs as he inspected the wine mixture within his goblet. The taste was… adequate. The cellar would need replenishing soon.

In the corner, a rather lax game of cards covered the small, round table. Minseok smirked at his winning hand. The faded wooden chips with bits of white painted around the edges were piling up in front of Yixing, who leaned back carelessly, sure of his next win. Little did either of them know that the youngest among them had a little... trick his sleeve. As the quickest, Sehun had perfected sleight of hand long ago. None had caught him yet.

A fire roared, coaling the usually gray and brown room in flickering orange. With how close he stood near the fireplace, Kyungsoo's silhouette was visible through his loose shirt. He leaned his palms on the mantel and let the warmth of the flames engulf him. Warmth was all they could feel after all these years. It could be an addiction so strong it was tempting to throw himself into the fire. 

Junmyeon joined him at the fireplace, leaning his shoulders against the brick. The bite of the edge hardly registered in his mind. Pain of that measure... it was only a ghost that had nearly crossed over. 

“Such strong thoughts for a night like this.”

Kyungsoo didn’t look from the fire, but raised a questioning eyebrow in response. 

Junmyeon shrugged a single shoulder. “I can’t read minds, but it's obvious you're turning something over more times than a praying rock.”

“It's the same thoughts,” Kyungsoo murmured in his strange, monotone voice. “Always the same thoughts.”

“One day you will have to let it go,” Junmyeon sighed. “This is our existence now. And forever will be.”

“Acceptance of the present doesn’t erase the past.”

“But it does make the present more enjoyable.” The red liquid sloshed against the rim of the goblet as Jongin draped an arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulders. He wore a mischievous smile. A clear indicator of his true intention. 

Junmyeon shook his head. “We’re not going out tonight. There’s nothing out and about in this storm.” Hunting in these conditions would wield no trophies. Tomorrow would be a better night. 

“Jun’s no fun tonight,” Jongdae teased as he and Baekhyun emerged from the hallway. 

“If you want to go out in this mess,” Junmyeon waved towards the front door. “Be my guest. Just don’t you dare get mud on the rug–”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Help! Please! Help!”

Nine pairs of eyes snapped to the echoing sound. None moved. 

Bang! Bang! 

BANG!

One of the double doors burst open and a figure fell to the floor, landing on its knees and palms. It looked up. A flash of lightning illuminated the face.

The face of a beautiful young girl. 

*****

Your knees vibrated when they hit the wooden floor. Water fell from your loose hair that clung to your cheeks. The chances of  the door opening when you pushed on the handle had been low–yet the barrier that kept you victim to the storm fell open and you crashed downward with it. 

Greeting you in this strange hall were several men, their jaws hanging open in a mirror of your own surprise. More men appeared from a side parlor, curious as to who dared intrude on their evening. One, two, three–you counted nine total. Nine men. This was not ideal–a bit terrifying, really–but you didn't have a choice. The storm raged outside.

"P-please," you stammered past chattering teeth "The st-storm overturn-overturned the carriage.” 

The men stayed silent as they exchanged unreadable glances. One raised a questionable brow. 

"Jongdae, go run a bath," ordered the man closest to you. One of the shorter residents nodded and disappeared into the darkness that led into the rest of the manor. 

That's what this place was. A grand old manor, not a castle. Isolated. When you'd first run through the rusted iron gate, you'd feared it abandoned. A long dormant instinct whispered that you might have been better off if it had been. 

The first man approached, each motion slow, deliberate, and hauntingly graceful. He crouched down in front of you and captured your frightened stare. The fear in you began to melt away. He was… beautiful. Obsidian fell over his forehead in gentle waves. His tunic was of a fashion your grandfather would have worn. There was something strange about this man–all of these men. Something... different. 

"Let's get you warmed up." He held his hand out and you were up on your feet before you even realized your fingers were resting on his. "Don't worry," he murmured. "You're safe here. My name is Junmyeon." 

You nodded, somehow believing him, but unsure if you should. Through your violent chattering, you managed to stammer out your name in response. 

Bang! 

You jumped at the sudden noise. One of the other men had somehow appeared behind you to shut the door you'd fallen through. 

"Thank you, Yixing," the man beside you said. The one named Yixing nodded and then shifted his eyes to you. “Come.” A hand pressed into the space between your shoulder blades and guided you down the hall, leaving a trail of mud in your wake.

The man led you down several halls until you reached an unoccupied bedroom. Red blankets draped the oversized bed. Matching curtains hung limply from the canopy. All of the wood was a dark sort, rich in color but not quite welcoming like other, brighter woods. 

Jongdae emerged from another door on the other side of the bedroom. Steam rolled out after him as if it were following him for its next set of orders. “Anything else?” he asked drily. 

“No, thank you.”

Jongdae strolled the from the room without a glance either of you and closed the door behind him. Your breath hitched in your throat. The two of you were… alone. It wasn’t appropriate. It was…

You looked to the man still with you, fear causing your heart to pound painful against your chest. You tugged your cloak closer to you, but it was soaked from the rain. Shivers violently raced down your arms and spine. The man didn’t seem to notice as he walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. He pulled out a long white cloth. 

“These should suffice for tonight.” He held up the cloth for you to see. A nightgown. An old one by the cut of it, though thankfully it hadn’t been devoured by moths or mice. “If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask.”

You nodded. “Thank you.” 

He visibly suppressed a laugh at your small voice and waved you into the adjoining bathroom. Taking the nightgown, you tried your best to avoid his gaze. You scurried inside and shut the door. 

*****

Junmyeon smirked at your mousy state. It was understandable why you were so frightened. The women of this period were warned of being alone with a man. And now you were alone with nine. 

Nine very dangerous men. 

The proper action for him to take was to leave your room now that you were safe inside the bathroom, but his feet didn’t move. Somehow, the storm had stranded you in their forest. What had happened to the driver, he wondered. Surely a gentlewoman such as yourself was not controlling the carriage. And yet, you were all alone. Circumstances were… ideal.

A small hiss echoed in the bathroom. It stretched out, along with the sound of sloshing water. Junmyeon frowned. 

Hm.

He stood there for a few minutes more, listening to you sigh as your skin grew used to the scalding water. The sound of soap scraping against skin reached his ears, followed by more sloshing water. Soon, you would be getting out of the tub. Time to leave. 

He emerged from the bedroom, careful to close the door as quietly as possible. Everyone had gathered out in the hallway since they were too curious about their visitor to go about their night. Junmyeon found Jongdae blending in with the cluster. He glared at him as he hissed, "The water was too hot." 

Jongdae merely shrugged. Why would he care about water possibly being too hot? It would never hurt him. 

On the opposite end of the group, Yixing cleared his throat. "What are we going to do with her?"

Junmyeon glanced at the door behind him. There was only one best option, for all their sakes. "Tomorrow morning, we will send her on her way." 

The eruption was instant. 

“Enough!”

In an instant, the hissing ceased. 

Baekhyun huffed and folded his arms against his chest, collapsing against the wall. Jongin scoffed. "Such a waste." 

“A waste that will keep this household from tearing itself apart,” Junmyeoun countered. It was an outcome none of them wanted. No one wanted to cause a fight, but resisting was difficult. The temptation was great. The quicker you left, the better off they would all be. 

"Do you really think it’ll end so well?" Minseok’s mocking comment hung in the air. Silent agreements rippled through the air. 

Junmyeon looked to Kyungsoo, whose answer was to look away. "No one touches her," he ordered. They all would try, he knew. But their strength would only get them so far. He stared down a few of them especially, so they knew he meant it.

Sehun pushed off the wall with a roll of his eyes. "Just get her out of here so I can get some peace." 

Junmyeon started to call after him but was interrupted by a soft thud from the room behind him. Confused, he opened the door to find you lying on the floor.

[dilxcc]

hellooo!! can i request some boyfriend! kai headcanons?💘

boyfriend!jongin headcanons

boyfriend!jongin x reader

okay trust me when i say that he loves you to the moon and back

we all know how much of a hardworker he is but he would drop everything the second you said that you miss him

youre craving something but feel too lazy to buy or make it?

he'll make it or buy it for you.

when you feel like youre so tired and couldnt lift a finger?

dont worry, hes here to help you with everything

you suddenly want something but doesnt have the money to buy it?

he'll buy it for you

what if you guys had a fight?

he'll be pouting the whole time but try his best to be matured

when youre both finally cooled down, he will talk and say that hes sorry

also cuddles!!!

i think hes a very touchy person

if youre going out together, i think he would wrap an arm around your waist

if youre walking, he likes it when you link your arms together

but if you dont want to, you can always hold hands

but what if you dont want any of it?

fine, he understands you but he WILL make a face

personally, i think hes a REALLY jealous person

probably would ignore you or confront you if hes jealous (its a 50/50 chance)

he likes seeing you wear his clothes

dating him would be an experience

you guys would be the most fashionable couple ever

also not to forget how the whole exo members will tease him about you every chance they get

[paintingwhiteceilings]

❃How EXO acts around their crush❃

a/n: This is 10000% just for my own pleasure. I may have had this in my drafts for weeks... I am totally okay with all the Kyungsoo solo content and EXO ladder dropping. Totally. Super functional, delusional who?

ALSO to any EXO-L that are sharing Chen's LEAKED wedding photos. Please be respectful and either delete them or, at the very least, blur out his wife's face. Chen has gone to great lengths to safeguard her privacy, as she is not famous nor wants to be in the spotlight. Not to mention that there could be crazy sasaengs out there with ill intent. Sharing her info is basically doxing, and it is insane to me how many people shared these posts without much thought. Anyway, I needed to share my frustrations.

Xiumin/Minseok:

✾ He is a lot shyer than the other members; where most of EXO probably feels comfortable enough to act on their crushes, he is a bit more reserved. He wants to test the waters first, ascertaining whether the feeling is mutual. Whenever you are around and are talking to other people, he sits back silently, observing your reactions.

✾ Xiumin is smiling so widely around you that the other members worry that his muscles might start cramping up soon. The moment he sees you, his bubbly personality starts to really shine through, and sometimes you can't help but wonder whether this man truly is 33.

✾ That being said, from the moment that anyone offers Xiumin a couple of drinks, his confidence spikes, and he will start flirting with you. His flirting is still extremely sweet and cute; Xiumin can be incredibly charming when he wants to be.

Suho/Junmyeon

✾ He is such a gentleman around you, trying to make you feel at ease with his kind gestures. Whether it is him pulling back a chair or opening a door for you, he will do anything to make you feel like a princess.

✾ Being one of EXO's proud black card owners, he will casually buy you whatever you need. He keeps repeating that he wants to treat his friends when you try to interject. You can't completely refute it; he does spend a lot of money on the members. Yet, you can't help but feel like his gifts are slightly too expensive and excessive for 'just friends'.

✾ So. Many. Soft. Glances. Suho looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars; you catch him staring at you almost every time you look over. Conversations with him can, therefore, be a tad awkward. He doesn't always register what you are saying; he is so absorbed in watching you that he forgets to listen.

✾ The other members relentlessly tease him for it. If you don't catch on based on Suho's actions, you will definitely catch on due to his members' relentless teasing. Whenever he does anything remotely romantic around you, their faces light up like Christmas came early. The members are not subtle about it whatsoever, thoroughly enjoying putting their leader in a slightly uncomfortable position.

Baekhyun:

✾ The members didn't think it was possible, but Baekhyun somehow became louder. It is as if he wants to draw your attention simply by screaming, as he no longer has any volume control when you are around. Everyone can hear your conversation from across the room, and his laughter becomes borderline obnoxious as it overpowers any other sound.

✾ He is such a tease and a suggestive one at that. Considering he has no problem revealing intimate, not suitable to be aired on national TV, details about the members' bodies, he won't have any trouble suggestively flirting with you. Where Xiumin's pick-up lines are cute, Baekhyun's are far from it. Give this man some holy water, Jesus.

✾ He is so intense with his flirting that it sometimes crosses the line of sexy to parody, coming off as a joke. Baekyhyun has a very flirty personality and isn't above flirting with his friends. Even though he isn't subtle about his crush, he can accidentally fall into the "he flirts with everyone" category, making you question whether he genuinely likes you or is just being friendly.

✾ He really enjoys the chase when it comes to relationships. Thus, it will take him quite some time before he asks you out, simply because he likes the push-and-pull game.

Chanyeol

✾ There is nothing subtle about Mr. Park Chanyeol. The moment he sees someone he wants to date, he is going for it full steam ahead. Puppy Chanyeol is momentarily retired as he makes his way over to you; Chanyeol knows that he is handsome and sexy, and he is ready to show it to you. I hope you weren't interested in anyone else because the moment you return any of his interest, he will be flirting with you like there is no tomorrow.

✾ Internally, he is so excited to be talking to you, and sometimes, you will see glimpses of his cute puppy-like persona, especially once he feels like you are just as interested. Still, the words coming out of this man's mouth, Jesus part two. Please go and ask Baekyhun to pass the holy water.

✾ That being said, he will get embarrassed when the other members are around or slightly bashful when you return his flirting at full force. I don't think Chanyeol is used to anyone sharing his level of intensity, so once you do, he gets a bit flustered. He absolutely loves it, though. Your compliments got him grinning from ear to ear.

D.O./Kyungsoo

✾ Don't get me wrong, I adore this man to a delusional extent, but he is absolutely hopeless when it comes to communicating with his crush. He won't go anywhere near you if he can't help it; he prefers looking at you from afar. He is someone who favours being approached first over approaching you himself. It isn't that he doesn't want to talk to you; he simply isn't the type of person to initiate contact with his crush and tends to stay back when he can tell that someone else is interested, too. 

✾ Even if he finds himself near you, don't expect him to have a full-blown conversation with you. He already tends to be a man of little words, but when it comes to you, he is a man of not a single word. Being around you is enough to make him happy; he doesn't really need to have a deep conversation. 

✾ Nevertheless, his actions make more than up for it. He is such a gentleman, being the definition of preferential treatment. You don't have a chair to sit on? He will quietly offer you his. Your sweater got caught on something? He will silently help you get it out. Although he may not say much to you, he communicates his feelings through his actions. 

Kai/Jongin

✾ If you think Xiumin or Kyungsoo are shy, you have not yet met Kai with a crush. He turns into absolute mush the moment he sees you, giggling and blushing whenever you do as much as breathing. You can't even see him because he has resorted to hiding behind the other members, preferably Sehun or Chanyeol, as they are tall enough to obscure him completely.

✾ If he somehow musters up the courage to talk to you, good luck having it go anywhere because he can barely make it through a sentence without giggling. It is obvious to everyone around him that he is smitten with you; his laughs are awkwardly loud, and his eyes are literally shooting hearts.

✾ The moment he manages to ask you to dance, his shy demeanour completely changes. His movement… His expressions… The way he is smirking at you… Maybe you should go and ask Chanyeol whether there is anything left of the holy water he borrowed from Baekyhun.

Sehun

✾ He has one of two ways of acting around his crush: either he acts super bratty or becomes painfully shy. It depends on whether he has met and talked to you before. But, if you are complete strangers, he would be so quiet, hiding in the furthest corner he can find.

✾ He will pester the members to go over and collect as much information as they can about you. They will do it because he will whine the entire night about it if they don't and, repeat with me, what Sehun wants, Sehun gets. The members try to convince Sehun to go talk to you himself, but Sehun stubbornly refuses. Bro will be playing the Maknae card harder than he ever has in his entire life.

✾ In the end, he will drag Suho with him, trying to 'casually' strike up a conversation with you. The small talk is painful, and in all honesty, Suho, with his dad jokes, isn't helping in the slightest. At the very least, it provides the two of you with a new conversational topic: the teasing of Suho.

masterlist

[proudahgase-exol]

Tender Love 💗

Jongin x reader

Summary: Jongin feels unloved and out of place, observing how friends and strangers are treated by their lovers, but feels unloved when with his S/O, leading to sadness and insecurity.

What’s Tender love? Tender love is all part of the same love you feel for someone, it's just showing it in a more openly positive way such as a cuddle or encouragement when they are feeling down or need reassurance.

Jongin pov:

 

Today I got invited to dinner at Junmyeon’s place. All the guys were there, and so their significance was another. It was sweet to see them all in love and together as a family.

 

On the other hand, I was alone; my partner was busy, and I had to show up to dinner alone. I understand that they had something else to do, and it usually didn’t bother me, but lately I can’t help but feel lonely, especially in places like this where everyone is with their loved ones and I’m not.

 

I know we have been dating for a year now, and at first I thought I was okay with how y/n acted. I knew they didn’t like to show too much affection, and it was fine with me at first. That is, until I started to feel jealous and like y/n didn’t actually love me.

 

The whole time I was at Junmyeon Hyung’s place, I tried not to show how upset and jealous I was. I didn’t want to ruin the mood for anyone, so I just stayed quiet.

 

I was so happy, but at the same time, I envy the other guys relationships. I wish I had a relationship like Kyungsoo and his girlfriend. I love how sweet and caring she was to Kyung, and that’s what I wanted my y/n to be with me.

 

When I got to Y/N’s place, I knew they were in the shower. I could hear the water running, so I went to the couch, sat down, and waited till they got out.

 

Well, I was waiting for you. I started to think of all the times I felt like they didn’t love me or cared about me. I really hoped they loved me, but my thoughts were making me think they didn't. I thought if I should say something about my feelings, but I didn’t have the courage to say anything.

 

Y/n pov

 

After I got out of the shower and got dressed, I heard a noise coming from the living room, and I knew Jongin had just gotten back from dinner with his bandmates, so I made my way to him.

 

When I got closer to the living room, I saw Jongin sitting and taking a deep breath with a shaky sigh, and I knew there was something upsetting him.

 

So after standing in the doorway of the living room and looking at his back, I decided to talk to him.

 

When I got closer, I clearly cut my throat so he could see me and walk around the couch to sit next to him.

 

“Hey Jongin, what’s wrong? You seem upset?” I asked in a soft voice, “What’s wrong? You can talk to me; you know that, right?”

 

“Can I? Can I actually talk to you, and would you even care about what I have to say or about my feelings?” he replied in a harsh tone.

 

“Of course you can talk to me, baby. What makes you think I don’t care about what you say that?” I was confused and hurt.

 

“I don’t know, how about you tell me? Tell me why you don’t actually love me; tell me how you don’t want to hold me or kiss me; you don’t even want to spend time with me,” he said, raising his voice.

 

“Where is this coming from? When have I made you feel like that?” I replied

 

“All the fucking time, I feel like you don’t even want to date me. Since we started dating almost a year ago, I felt jealous of my friends relationships, and I even feel jealous seeing strangers with their boys or girls. I just wish we could be like them and show others that we are together and that we love each other,” he said, upset.

 

“Why have you never said anything? Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling insecure and jealous? Why didn’t you come to me and tell me how you feel?" I was upset as well.

 

“Because I didn’t know if you’d care,” he replied with a sigh.

 

“Baby, do you know how much I want to do all that, but there’s something in my past that keeps me from doing so?” I said, embarrassed.

 

“What do you mean by that?” He asked, confused.

 

“Well, a few years before I met you, I had this boyfriend who treated me badly. He hated when I tagged along with him and his friends. He hated when I tried to cuddle him or even hug him. He just hated everything that had to do with physical affection. So as time went on, he made me believe that showing my feelings for the ones I love was bad. That’s why I never did all those things in fear that you would hate them as well. I know it sounds stupid, but he was a really bad person.” I really let the tears fall.

 

“Oh Jagi, why didn’t you tell me that sooner? Now everything makes sense,” he replied as he pulled me closer to him.

 

“Jongin I do love you. I love you so much that it scares me to lose you. You don’t know how much I wanted to hug you in public or in front of your friends, but I was just scared. I’m so sorry for making you feel like I didn’t care,” I said, looking up at him.

 

"Jagi, it’s okay. Just promise me that you won’t hold back your feelings. If you want a hug, you can hug me. If you need reassurance, I’ll be here. All I want is to feel your love and affection because I love you so much that it hurts not to receive your love,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

 

“Same for you, Nini. I want you to tell me how you feel. If you think that I’m not giving you enough love or attention, don’t hesitate to let me  know." I replied back.

 

 

“From now on, I will make sure to do some. Now let’s go to bed and have a long cuddle session, and tomorrow we can go out for breakfast and then do whatever you’ll like,” he said as he got up from the couch and pulled me up with him.

 

"Yeah, maybe we can invite the boys over for dinner and play some games,” I asked.

 

“Yes, we can have a game competition between couples and see which one is the best,” he replied, excited.

 

As we walked to my bedroom, I couldn’t help but admire him. He looked happy talking about all the couple stuff he wanted to do. He looks so excited now that he finally got what he wanted.

 

He wanted to be reassured; he wanted to be told that I love him. It might have taken us a bit longer, but now we are both happy and no longer feeling trapped or anxious.

(This was trash I know but I like of love it 😅)

[eomayas]

D appointment • kji (pt. 1)

part two can be found here.

pairing: jongin x f!reader, fwb relationship

genre: smut 18+ MINORS DNI!!! bit of fluff if you close one eye and tilt your head

synopsis: reader leaves her friends for a last minute dick appointment with a hot man

warnings: p in v, riding, against wall, facial (kinda), oral (f receiving) multiple orgasms, cocky/sweet/mean/teasing jongin! mentions of alcohol, but no drunkenness

jongin: u busy?

you smirk at your phone and down the shot sitting in front of you. “excuse me, ladies, but duty calls,” you say to your four friends, standing up and grabbing your bag off of the back of your chair.

“no! we’ve barely done shots!” your friend sana protests, grabbing onto your hands.

you stick out your bottom lip. “sorry, bae, but i really have to go,” you say, trying to pull away.

“for the what? to do what?” she questions, frowning up at you.

you can only smirk. “jongin,” you say, booping her on the nose and then pulling yourself out of her grasp. you know it’s fucked up to leave your closest friends for a dick appointment, but worse things could definitely happen, and they have to understand—it’s not just any dick, its dick that has you walking funny the next morning. “so sorry to leave like this, but dick awaits.” you say, blowing kisses to your friends before leaving the bar, their groans and sounds of disapproval be damned.

you stand on the side of the building and call an uber that arrives quickly. you hop in the back and reply to jongins message, your nails flying over the screen.

y/n: be there in 10

the entire uber ride, you check you appearance and reapply your lipgloss. it’s not that you needed to look good for jongin, but you wanted to. and to admit, you were nervous—you were always nervous every time you met jongin, even though it was multiple times a week and you’d done thing more than ten times so far. you meet him mostly at night, sometimes during the day, never in the morning, but always after 12pm. but you still managed to get jittery beforehand.

the uber pulls up to his apartment building, and you thank them and get out. you attempt to pull down your tiny poster girl dress, but it just slides back up as you walk over to the door and buzz his apartment. “y/n, is that you?” his voice asks through the intercom.

“yes. let me in, it’s cold,” you say, but there’s barely a breeze. the buzzer pops and you quickly enter the building and make your way to the elevator. the ride is quick, him only living on the third floor, and the walk is even shorter.

you knock and a few seconds later, he answers the door, in a white tank top, jeans, and hat. “hi,” you say, giving him a quick hug as you walk in.

“you look nice—what do you want to call this? is this a dress?” he asks, loosely holding your hand as his eyes roam over your figure.

“mhm,” you say, looking up at him. he licks his lips and raises his eyebrows.

“you always dress like this when you go out? or is this just for me?” he asks mockingly and your roll your eyes, spinning around on your toes to look at him. he can’t help but drop his gaze to your chest, where three giant cut outs expose your chest and the fact that you’re not wearing a bra.

“does it matter?” you ask, gently pushing his chin upwards. jongin looks you in the eye and nudges you against the all before dropping to his knees in front of you.

“guess not,” he says, pushing your dress up so it bunches around your waist. you sigh and mold your back against the wall, butterflies of anticipation in your stomach as he presses his fingers against your core, the material sticking to you for a bit. jongin wastes no time helping you out of them before dragging two fingers through your slit, and then pushing them inside you.

you sigh and brace yourself against the wall, looking down at him and biting your bottom lip. before you know it, his fingers are replaced with his mouth and you gasp, throwing a hand over your mouth and tilting your head back.

jongin licks and sucks, pressing his tongue into your hole. you drop the hand from your mouth push his hat off, tangling your hands in his hair. you pull at his roots, moaning out his name. you make the mistake of looking down at him, seeing as he’s already looking up at you, his eyes wide. your mouth falls open and you can feel him smirk against you. “j-jongin,” you pant, putting a leg on his shoulder.

he flicks his tongue against your clit and your vision goes spotty for a second. jongin feels your body tense and continues his ministrations, adding his fingers to the mix to push you over the edge. but he doesn’t let you get all of the way there, pulling away when your vision starts to blur just the way you like, and your legs feel weak.

it’s rude, and you gasp in horror. “fuck you! i was close!” you cry, your eyes never leaving him as he stands up and unzips his pants. you frustratedly put your hand between your legs, trying to get yourself off but you know that it’s not going to work since he’s already been down there, and it’s his and his mouth that you want.

“were you?” he asks, removing your hand from in between your legs and turning you around, pressing you into the wall. you close your eyes and put an arch in your back, waiting for him to push himself in. because he’s sweet, he doesn’t waste your time and pushes himself in with a grunt.

“oh, jongin!” you mewl, meeting his thrusts as he rocks his hips into you. he grips your hips tightly, giving himself more leverage with fucking into you.

“best pussy i’ve ever had, fuck,” he groans into your ear, slipping a hand between to the front of you to rub at your clit. you arch your back deeper at his words, reveling in the feeling of his hips slapping against your backside. the curve in his dick his that spot nicely, and has you seeing stars. “shit, y/n.” he says, rubbing on your clit faster.

he pounds into you, your cheek smooshing against the wall. your mouth is permanently dropped open, only sound you emit being breathy moans and his name. you lift one of your legs, that earlier feeling coming back into the pit of your stomach. jongin catches your leg, holding it up and widening his stance so he can get you back to the place he rudely took away from you.

“jongin, please, i’m c-close!” you beg, your chest heaving up and down as you feel yourself getting closer and closer. he’s nice, always has been to you, so he speeds up his thrusts. “shit, shit!” you cry out, that euphoric feeling washing over you as you release onto him.

“that’s right,” he grunts, still pounding into you, holding you securely around the waist with one arm while the other gropes your chest. “cum all over this dick, y/n. it’s yours.” jongin kisses your neck, his thrusts getting shallower as he feels himself getting closer. you shake in his grasp, the feeling too much, and you’re grateful when he pulls out and cums on your ass, his voice low as he curses.

“is your face okay?” he asks when you both take a moment to catch your breath. you face him and he turns the cheek that was pressed against the wall towards him. it’s red, but it doesn’t look like any real damage was done. “does it hurt?” he asks, dragging his finger tips across it lightly.

you shake your head and pull him close to you. “good. sorry ‘bout it,” he says, giving your cheek a kiss and then pressing one on your lips. you wrap your arms around his neck and let your mini make out session last a bit longer.

but jongins hard member rests heavily against your thigh, and you still have enough energy for another round. so he puts his hands underneath your ass and hoists you up, sliding into you easily. his strength and frame are contradicting. he’s skinny, as are his arms, so when you met him and agreed to start fooling around, you weren’t sure about wall sex, or even riding him, the fear of being dropped or hurting him too prevalent, until one night he told you stop bullshitting and showed you how much a skinny guy could do.

“fuck, jongin, you feel so good!” you hold onto his shoulders, grabbing at the hair at the nape of his neck. he concentrates on fucking you deep, his stamina decreasing quicker than he really intended. you can tell, so you say, “is that all you got?” yanking at his hair.

jongin looks up at you with a face that says i’m giving you EVERYTHING, but slides you down the wall and starts driving his hips upward, hitting that perfect spot again and making you scream out his name. “this enough for you?” he grunts, his hands holding onto you right enough to leave marks. “fuck, y/n. i need you to come.” he groans, licking his lips and squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to hold himself back from coming before you.

you push his hair out of his eyes and rub on your swollen clit with your fingers. it doesn’t take much, between your rubbing and his thrusting, to make you reach your climax, it springing on you quicker than you had anticipated. it’s not as intense as the first, but you can’t feel your legs.

jongin quickly sets you down and you fall to your knees, your legs too weak to hold you up at the moment. “open,” he says, his dick in front of his face as he pumps his hand up and down.

you do as asked, your mouth wide open and ready to take whatever he gives you. ropes of his cum land on your tongue and you keep your mouth open until he’s done. you swallow, keeping your eyes on him, and he breathes heavily as he watches you. jongin never made you swallow, and didn’t feel any type of way when you spit the first time you gave him head. but ever since the first time you swallowed his cum, he’s found a new kink for it. he likes watching you do it, it turns him on every time.

jongin helps you up onto shaky legs, one of his hands on the small of your back. “i’m not done with you yet,” he says, looking down into your eyes.

“i’m tired!” you whine, holding onto him. he shrugs and you pout, hoping it’ll change his mind.

“nah, you were talking shit to me. it’s your turn to prove yourself, ms. ‘is that all you got?’,” he says, slapping your ass. you only frown up at him and he gives you a shit eating grin. “let me see your foot.” he says, and you lift your leg up, holding onto him tightly as you wobble standing on one foot.

he puts your leg on his knee and unbuckles your heels for you. it’s weirdly intimate, and you ignore the pang in your heart as he gently pulls off your shoes, holding onto your ankle delicately. “thank you,” you say, wiggling your toes.

jongin nods and pull you close to him by the ass. he looks down into your eyes, and you feel like exposed under his gaze so you quickly close the distance between you and slide s hand up the back of his tank top. “you’re not getting out of this,” he mumbles against you, pulling away to raise an eyebrow at you.

“my legs hurt,” you say as he walks you backwards to the living room.

“aw,” he says, not a hint of sincerity in his voice. while he was sweet, he can still get competitive (and mean). jongin takes a seat on the couch and beckons you toward him, spreading his legs wide and holding onto the base of his dick.

you sigh and pull your dress off the rest of the way, and let it fall to the floor. you ignore jongins piercing gaze as his eyes roam over your naked body, and lower yourself onto his lap. you lift your hips up so you can slide him in, and your lips part as you take him from this angle.

letting out a breath, you sink lower onto him, holding onto his shoulders for support. “you’re moving awfully slow,” he says, pulling your hair.

“shut up,” you say, starting to move up and down on him. he rolls his eyes and laces his hands behind his head, looking at you lazily. “take this off.” you whine, pulling at his tank top. he obliges, and you rest your hands on his bare chest as you start to pick up the pace.

but your legs start to burn as quickly as you start, and after a few minutes, you’re practically just sitting on him, your chest pressed against his. “that’s all you got for me? you dont like me anymore?” he asks, holding you by the neck.

you shake your head. “my legs hurt!” you complain, grinding down on him. it only feels good for you, and you both know it, so he lets you do it for awhile longer before he gets tired.

“and you had the nerve to talk shit to me, but you can’t even ride me for longer than a minute,” he says, thrusting up into you harshly. you curse and try to match his pace with your own hips, but he quickly shuts that down. “you just sit there and let me take care of you.” he grunts, basically granting you to be a pillow princess for the rest of the night.

jongin keeps true to his word and manually bounces you on him, and soon you’re both cumming for the third time tonight. he proves to be officially worn out when even his arms can’t hold you much longer, and he melts into the couch.

you kiss his cheek before pulling yourself off of him, and grab your dress. you pull it on and walk down the hall to retrieve your underwear and the rest of his clothes. “you want me to drive you home?” he asks when you hand him his bottoms.

“please?” you ask, pulling on your underwear. you can’t help but collapse onto the couch, your body exhausted.

he looks down at you as he stands up to pull on his jeans, his eyebrows furrowed. “why are you resting when i did all the work?” he asks. you flip him off and he smiles.

“shut up, you didn’t even do much,” you lie. he scoffs and shakes his head at you.

“oh jongin, jongin, fuck me jongin!” he mocks, imitating how he thinks you sound.

you roll your eyes, but your cheeks burn in embarrassment. “you can make fun of me all you want, but i’m the best pussy you’ve ever had,” you say, standing up from the couch and pointedly looking him in the eye.

jongin doesn’t argue or deny you statement, just smiles to himself and watches you as you put on your heels. you can feel his eyes on you, so you don’t turn around when you ask him if he’s ready to drop you off.

he grabs his keys and jacket and you two exit his apartment. jongin wraps an arm around your waist, surprising you. “you look like bambi right now,” he says, glancing down at you.

all you can do is blush and lean into him, enjoying his embrace. you guys make it down to the lobby after a short elevator ride, and go out to the parking garage to get into his BMW.

the drive is short, and you guys make small talk the entire time. he pulls up in front of your condo quicker than you thought, and you unbuckle your seatbelt.

you open the door, ready to get out, but he stops you. “come here,” he says, pulling you back to him. you’re confused, and become even more shocked when he plants a goodnight kiss on your lips. you guys rarely kiss outside of hooking up, and when you part ways, it’s just a goodbye hug, or nothing but words.

pulling back, you’re a bit stunned but find the words to say goodnight, and your legs to let you out. you expect him to drive away when you step out of the car, but instead he waits for you to unlock your door, and honks once, as if to say goodbye, before he speeds off.

he’s just full of surprises.

[sunshyni]

take a ride with “us”

★ PAIRING | Kai × Haechan × Reader

☆ WC | 0.4k

☆ SUMMARY | Jongin e Donghyuck eram quase bons demais para serem de verdade.

★ notinha da Sun: já pararam pra analisar que eles têm timbres de voz parecidos? 🤔 Pois é, isso ficou na minha cabeça durante um tempo no ano passado, quando o ep de Rover foi lançado (como assim já faz mais de 1 ano?). Esses dias, eu estava sossegada no tiktok e de repente Hyuck apareceu ao som de Rover, e como eu já tinha um pedido do Kai, resolvi escrever essa!

☆ boa leitura, docinhos! ⛽

— A gente vai pra onde? — você perguntou enquanto se contemplava no espelhinho do banco do passageiro. Estava em um conversível e tinham parado em um posto para Jongin encher o tanque por conta própria. Haechan permanecia no banco do passageiro, te observando enquanto você passava gloss nos lábios. Ele pulou do carro, segurou seu rosto, ignorou completamente que você estava passando batom e selou os lábios nos seus, calmamente. Você até queria resistir, mas quando percebeu, já o puxava suavemente pela jaqueta de couro.

Vocês tinham uma relação... Diferente do habitual. Kai e Haechan haviam combinado de te fazer a mulher mais feliz do mundo, roubando beijinhos aleatórios, te buscando no trabalho mesmo que você fizesse horas extras. Era o melhor dos mundos, como se eles nem fossem reais, como se fossem entidades criadas para tirar seu estresse e te fazer verdadeiramente feliz. Com os dois, você aprendeu que, sim, a felicidade poderia ser plena e constante.

— Onde você quer ir? — Jongin perguntou no momento em que Haechan deixou seus lábios e te beijou de leve na bochecha. Você pensou por um tempo, pensou mais um pouco e achou que seria divertido que visitassem o cânion próximo dali. Jongin concordou com você, te beijou docemente. Nem fazia muito sentido retocar o gloss, sabendo que ambos gostavam muito de prová-lo, como se fosse um prato de um restaurante Michelin.

— Seu pedido é uma ordem, senhorita, mas antes, sai do carro — Jongin pediu com um sorrisinho no rosto. — Você também, Haechan.

Os três saíram do carro: você com seu vestidinho de pin-up girl, Haechan com sua jaqueta de couro e Kai com uma t-shirt de cereja que sempre mostrava sua cintura delineada toda vez que erguia os braços.

— Agora vem me pegar — Ele pediu, e você sorriu. Os dois eram muito infantis, apesar de Jongin ser alguns anos mais velho que Donghyuck. A idade não era capaz de separar suas mentalidades. Estavam correndo pelo posto deserto, até que, em um momento, você ficou exausta, com o cabelo grudando no rosto e os pés doendo, mesmo com o saltinho pequeno.

— Chega, eu desisto — você disse. Quando elevou o rosto, não encontrou os dois, mas deu um sorriso feliz quando foi abraçada por trás. Conhecia aquele cheirinho doce de Haechan que poderia sentir a uma distância de muitos quarteirões. Enquanto Haechan te abraçava por trás e descansava a cabeça no seu ombro, Jongin te beijava com doçura. Era quase bom demais para ser verdade.

— Eu perdi — você sussurrou quando Kai se afastou devagar. Ele sorriu e não pensou duas vezes em dizer:

— Não, você ganhou — Haechan beijou seu pescoço enquanto Jongin acariciava sua bochecha. — Ganhou nós dois.

[xiubaek-13]

Requested: No

Genre: Canon-AU, smut

Pairing: ? (at this stage undecided) x Reader or is it Baekhyun x Reader ?

Warnings: 18+ fic, minors DNI! angst, fluff, suggestive text, making out, confessions of feelings. Not many warnings for this one but she's deeply in her head for a decent portion of this chapter.

Word Count: 22,599

A/N: Here it is. The final chapter. Like most of my writing in the back half of this fic, it was supposed to be considerable shorter but then I let the brain worms control my fingers and now you get this behemoth of an ending. It's only had one very quick edit so I hope it makes sense and isn't a let down.

7 years ago I knew the ending for this fic, but when I was plotting out the chapter that ending simply didn't fit anymore so we've got a new ending and I hope it doesn't let you down.

The flight home left you with a lot of time to think. You had asked Minseok and Baekhyun to let the rest of the guys know about your meeting, telling them that Junmyeon could probably fill in more of the details that you’d left out when you’d broken the news to them. Your mind had been focused on getting to Minseok’s reward at the time, so discussing the feedback you’d received in great detail was not front of mind. 

Feeling overwhelmed with your own thoughts, you’d also asked them to tell everyone that you had requested some space. From them. You just couldn’t handle any of them right now. You’d assured Minseok & Baek when you’d all woken up the next morning that they hadn’t overstepped or done anything, but that your mind was too busy and too much for you right now. The internal storm had been brewing for quite some time but you’d constantly pushed it down, too busy to deal with silly things like the future, feelings and relationships. But once the tour ended and the rewards were completed (inconveniently on the same night) it all came crashing down on you. The floodgates had been opened and you didn’t know how to act normal and not drown in your own mind at the same time. You needed space to simply exist. Space to sort out your mind before you did something utterly stupid and reckless. You’d promised to never disappear on them again without talking to them, and whilst you felt a bit guilty for withdrawing from them like that you had provided warning, and as much context as you could. Baekhyun refused to let you leave until you promised him you weren’t self-destructing. That you weren’t going to disappear and not respond to them.

“You said you wouldn’t do that again. You said you’d lean on at least one of us when you were struggling.” He said, his eyes full of concern as he watched you nervously pace around the room.

“It’s different this time. I’m not sad, or feeling lonely or headed to a dark place mentally.” You stopped in the middle of the room as you tried to hold off the panic attack that you could feel building within you. You needed to go. You needed to be away from it all. You needed them to understand. “It’s just loud. And overwhelming. And I need time to be by myself to sort through everything.” 

“But you’re asking us to not contact you.” He looked down at his hands. “How will we know if you’re ok?”

“It won’t be for long. I hope. Just give me a week, then Minseok or Kyungsoo can check in to make sure I’m ok.” You said. 

“Why not me?” He asked so quietly that you barely heard the words.

“Because I know they’ll just check in with me and nothing more until I’m ready to chat.” You smiled at him. “You wouldn’t be able to help yourself. You yap. It’s just part of who you are.”

“I hate this.” He grumbled.

“I don’t like it either, but I’ll do it.” Minseok replied. He looked worried for you as well, but he could tell you weren’t going to bend on this request. He didn’t want to back you into a corner. He knew if any of them did that, they ran the risk of you running from them. He hated to see you struggle with your thoughts but he hoped he knew you well enough to know that you’d reach out if you needed to lean on them. Even if you weren’t ready.

“Fine. I’ll do it as well, but know that I truly do not like this. Not one bit.” He sighed, resigned to your decision. He realised his words may have come across too harsh when he saw guilt flash across your features. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad. I’m just worried and wish I, or any of us, could help.”

You nodded. “I get it. I would hate it if any of you did this to me. Trust me I feel shitty about it, but I need to go deal with some stuff that I’ve been putting to the side because I simply didn’t have time to process it.” You shifted nervously on your feet, itching to leave the room. You felt your heart rate increase, and breathing was becoming difficult. You had to leave before your panic was obvious to them. You weren’t sure why you were so wound up this morning, but you knew you just needed to get away from the people who paid too much attention to you. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.” 

You knew that they had conveyed your wishes when the group chat you’d been added to, one that had been busy that morning with members arguing over the best American breakfast sandwich, just stopped. The messages just abruptly ended. It left a bittersweet feeling in your heart. On one hand, they were only respecting your request for space to think, but on the other, having nine large personalities all fall quiet at the same time made you feel lonely. You hadn’t realised how much they had integrated themselves into your life, and you theirs until then. You might not see them every day but their presence was always felt. Through messages bickering with each other, reminding you to eat, dumb selfies, silly jokes, recommendations for movies or tv shows, unflattering photos of the others. They were always there. Until now. Now it was as though they’d all simply ceased to exist. It was weird. It felt wrong.

You’d travelled back to Korea with the other staff members. No one found that strange as there was no reason for any of the guys to request your presence for a lesson - the tour was over. You mindlessly watched movies until you fell asleep. Dealing with the onslaught of thoughts and feelings was not something you were going to do on a long haul flight. Having a breakdown 30,000 feet above the ocean was not on your bucket list. Did you shed a tear or two at certain scenes in the movies you watched because they reminded you of certain people? Maybe. But lucky for you the staff were all equally exhausted and happy to sleep for the majority of the return trip. Once you landed the guys were called to the company whilst you and multiple other staff members were told to go home and rest. You were beyond thankful to be told to go home because that was the only thing you wanted to do. You wanted the safety of the familiar four walls of your apartment. The comfort of your bed. Maybe all you needed was a really long sleep and then you’d be less of an emotional wreck. You didn’t think you’d overworked yourself but maybe you were wrong? 

It was quiet in your apartment. Not that that was a new thing. No, the new thing was that you knew it would remain quiet. There would not be a knock on your door from a bored neighbour who wanted to raid your snack cupboard and hide from their roommates. There would be no flurry of messages to your phone or late night calls. It was probably a good thing. If this feeling that you were experiencing, like teetering on the edge of an abyss of panic, was anything to go by then you were probably deluding yourself if you thought it was purely related to being exhausted from work. 

No, if you actually thought about it, you realised that it was the culmination of a few things. First there was the fact that your contract was over and you didn’t know what was next for you, or how their CEO would respond to the work you’d done. Second was the fact that you had been sexually intimate with each of the members. You thought you’d kept the interpersonal relationship side of things separate from the sex but now your mind was throwing every ‘what if’ in the book at you. Were they your friends?, were they colleagues?, did any of them now want nothing to do with you because you’d been with the others?, did any of them want more from you?, did you want more from any of them?, did you ruin everything? Your mind was in full spiral mode, with no exits in sight. You were unfortunately in for the ride, even if you did not want to be.

You knew you needed to sit down and dwell in your thoughts and work out what to do about the nine very special men who were woven into your heart, each one you had slept with, but did you feel something more than friendship and attraction to any of them? Was it simply a working relationship that you’d sprinkled some highly unprofessional fun into or did you have romantic interest in any or all of them? You’d avoided thinking about this very thing for weeks now, always telling yourself that you were too busy with lessons. Now you were forced to address it. No one would come distract you, and there was no work to be done, and if you didn’t address it? Well it seemed like you were destined for a full blown mental breakdown if you left it to fester.

You were officially off the clock until the CEO summoned you so you had nothing but time to sit and dwell on your thoughts and feelings. Naturally you decided to clean your apartment instead. Then reorganise the kitchen, do all of your washing, make your bed and organise your desk. It was when your thumb was hovering over the call button for your parents that you snapped out of your procrastination spiral and forced your brain to start unraveling the mess that was your relationship with the EXO members. 

Like every other time you’d had to solve a seemingly large problem, you took out a notebook and pen and began to make notes. It wasn’t a pros and cons list, rather, it was your jumbled thoughts spewed out onto a page. You’d always worked best with problem solving when you had something to annotate. You needed visual logic cues if you were to concentrate on this long enough to deal with it. When you looked down at the page it was one very messy web of unfiltered thoughts. Seeing it all on the page didn’t ease your worries like it usually did. For some reason this felt bigger, like it was more important than you could perceive. 

The crux of the issue still seemed to be that they were your friends before you took on the role of teaching them English, then after they became colleagues you rather quickly implemented the reward system. Then came the issue of involving sex, but honestly, apart from some prying and joking the guys hadn’t changed in how they acted towards you. If anything some were more affectionate with you but that was never in a sexual way. They understood that the system was there for the lessons and if you excluded Minseok and Baekhyun - all sex acts were contained within the lesson rewards or punishments. Yixing was playful, but only because he knew he could get away with it. He never tried for more than being close to you, and you knew he cared about you (especially since the day at the Han River, and because he wasn’t always around), but you didn’t think he was pining for you though it was sometimes difficult to gauge what he was feeling. Junmyeon was a gentleman and rarely brought up anything to do with the reward arrangement. Chanyeol, Jongdae and Sehun liked to make suggestive comments and jokes but that was mostly in. Sehun had been clingy before all of this anyway. Kyungsoo was another who was difficult to read. He’d never tried anything after the reward, but he was sweet to you, and very familiar with you in a way he hadn’t been beforehand. Jongin was a sweetheart before and after, and you were pretty sure his reward was just an experience for him and nothing more. Minseok and you… well that has basically been a friends with benefits situation however neither of you appeared to be trying to push that arrangement into something more at present. You were both more than capable of hanging out and not fucking. 

Baekhyun presented a whole other problem. Your relationship with him had never been normal. The sexually charged banter had been there from the very beginning and only built as things went on. The day at the Han River proved that he cared about you enough to find you and help you. You enjoyed his company which wasn’t to say you didn’t enjoy all of their company, but with him it was different. Wasn’t it? You weren’t sure. The relationship that grew between the two of you had been sexually charged thanks to your drunken flirting very early on in the scheme of things but he’d never shied away from it - as long as you weren’t a drunken mess. The flirting had continued and your encounters always seemed to teeter on the precipice of taking that next step, but ended in delayed gratification so it was impossible for you to decipher if you had felt so strongly because you’d craved his body and his touch or if it was something more.

You paused in your deliberations to order some food. All this thinking was making you hungry and your mother had always told you to never make important decisions while hungry. It was something you’d lived by and you weren't about to stray from it now. A decision made while hungry could very well just be the impulsive choice rather than the choice you might make once hunger wasn’t making you impatient. Hangry was never a helpful state to be in.

What were you even trying to figure out? Did you want to date all of them? Was that even a possibility? It would be hard enough to date one idol, let alone nine of them. How would that work? You knew people back home who were in successful polycules but like, they were on the smaller side and had a more even split of gender. That and the fact that they weren’t also hugely famous in a highly conservative country and would receive backlash for anyone they dated. If you dated all nine of them, you would be the only woman and as far as you were aware, none of them were all that interested in exploring each other in that way. Did you feel that way about them? I felt like it had to be an all or nothing situation for it to be fair. You didn’t ask your brain what kind of logic that was because it made sense to you at the time. So would you be ok if you didn’t pursue anything more with any of them? Would remaining close friends with them be enough for you, or them? God you hadn’t even considered if any of them were romantically interested in you. How embarrassing would it be to make a decision only for it to be the opposite of their decision? Could your heart handle that rejection if you were dealing with freshly discovered feelings? You stood up and did a full body shake in a feeble attempt at releasing the building anxiety from your body. You needed to focus on one question at a time. Were you romantically interested in all of them? 

You weren’t sure. It was complicated. 

If you didn’t want all of them, would you be fine with just being friends with them? 

Again, you weren’t sure. All this thinking was making your head hurt. The lack of answers you were providing yourself wasn’t helping your anxiety in the slightest. Maybe you should just finish your food, go to bed and try again in the morning? You probably had jet lag. That couldn’t be helping. 

Did you want any of them in that way? Did any of them want you in that way? If you were just friends with them, would you be ok watching them date other people? Could you be happy for them? Your heart felt heavy and you were no closer to working out why. You closed your notebook and got into bed, hoping the cocoon of your blankets could wash away some of the worries and panic. 

Sleep was elusive. You tossed and turned for what felt like the entire night because you could not switch your brain off. It wasn’t supplying any new information nor was it being productive in any way. No, instead it was showing you all of the worst case scenario outcomes from your possible decisions. Thoughts of being doxxed for dating any of them, sasaengs hurting you or any of them, calls from antis to have the group disband or certain members thrown out. All of it haunted your sleep deprived brain. When your thoughts drifted to the possibility of you being deported over dating any of them, you finally heaved a sigh, called your mind an idiot and somehow fell asleep. It was more likely that you passed out from exhaustion at that point, too drained mentally to remain conscious. The dreams were just snapshots of all these awful thoughts. Your subconscious must have felt bad for you as it sprinkled in small glimpses of the happy endings where everything worked out. Little bursts of colour surrounded these moments, like it was really trying its best to show you there could be good outcomes. 

Warmth and laughter in their company, locked lips and entwined limbs, waking up in someone’s arms, secretive dates, happy smiles. Small glimpses of building a happy home together, of not dating but still hanging out and enjoying being with your friends. Feeling whole, and loved. Even dreaming you were no closer to a resolution than before. 

A new day brought distractions. So be it if those distractions were ones you forced upon yourself, they were still distractions dammit. You took yourself out for a walk in a feeble attempt at clearing your mind only to find yourself standing in front of an aquarium in Gangnam. Water always grounded you when your thoughts became too loud, and since you couldn’t sit at the beach, staring out at the waves for hours like you could in your hometown, an aquarium was the next best thing. Something about walking through enclosures below the water with sea life surrounding you was calming. It was serene and quiet. You allowed your mind to go blank as you made your way through the different exhibits, reading the fun facts that were put next to each enclosure. 

You learned about the sharks that could reproduce asexually, never needing the company of others to keep themselves afloat. Sharks were always so interesting to watch. A terrifying predator who seemingly feared nothing, but to you they were also these goofy looking creatures because of their teeth. There were too many and they were too sharp but it also made them look kind of ridiculous when they were simply existing. You had an appreciation for them. They were unbothered creatures, content to simply exist, only attacking for survival whether that be for sustenance or to defend themselves. They let specific creatures into their personal space, never attacking them, but seeming to simply coexist. Those suckerfish - that you now found out were actually called Remora - helped the sharks and in turn the sharks helped them. It seemed like a simple relationship. You imagined that one day they just attached themselves to the sharks and never let go and for some reason, the shark just let it happen. 

The tropical exhibit was vibrant and massive. You had to stop yourself from reciting lines from Finding Nemo lest you appear like a crazy foreigner talking to themselves. You knew a lot of the facts about these creatures from your studies at school but there were some things they had left out of your textbooks, probably to avoid teachers having to explain certain concepts to children. Concepts like polyamorous fish. Yeah, those existed. Well, technically the marine biologists simply documented that certain species of tropical fish mated with multiple partners. So one couldn’t explicitly state that the fish were polyamorous, but maybe that term was better than saying the fish were swingers. It was a ridiculous concept to think about. The inner working relationships of fish. Maybe you were losing your mind. 

You moved on to see the seals being fed. You always found them to be a deceptive creature. ‘Looks like a friend but is most definitely not a friend’ was the label you’d always associated with them. Growing up you’d been to a marine park and been in awe of the cute seals who did tricks for rewards in the form of fish. You even had a photo with a seal posed next to you. You remembered that it was heavy, very wet and its breath stank of fish, but it was pretty chill. Your cousin snuck you into a section you weren’t supposed to go to, where they were rehabilitating other animals - mainly dolphins and seals. He knew about a specific seal species that looked adorable and said he wanted to show it to you. He left out the part where this particular species ate penguins and other seals. He waited until you were home, talking to anyone who would listen about the world’s prettiest seal, about how they must be the sweetest and most amazing seals to ever exist. He waited until you were so enamoured by them that you were almost going to claim them as your new favourite animal to show you a section of a documentary of that specific species hunting. You had nightmares for weeks. Thankfully the seals in this enclosure were not the leopard seals of your childhood nightmares. It did remind you to call your cousin to catch up and remind him of how much he terrorised you as a child. 

You spent way too long watching the penguins in the arctic exhibit. They appeared to be nesting, at least that was the conclusion you arrived at. There were penguins lying in little circles made of rocks and ice, a nest you supposed, while their mate searched the enclosure for the perfect pieces of ice and rocks before bringing them back and placing them in the nest (you assumed they were mates since they kept returning to the same nest, never straying to a different penguin. That and you knew penguins mated for life, so if they weren’t mates then they were definitely courting the penguin they thought could be their mate). It was such a simple act but you found that you simply couldn’t leave the viewing window, entranced by such a simple act of love. 

When you finally left the aquarium a few hours later you felt more at peace than you had in weeks. By no means was your mind clear, but the chaotic tornado that had taken up residence in there was now more of a light breeze as all your worries quietened down, allowing you to logically sift through them. You allowed yourself to believe that you had in fact, been successful at teaching EXO English. The tour was successful and you hadn’t been required to step in very often during their ments or interviews. For a group with poor prior experience with learning English you had basically done the impossible. You managed to let go of the stigma that had clouded your mind for the past few weeks that was constantly telling you they were only succeeding because of the sex, but really if all they took from your lessons was the sex then they still would have failed miserably at their ments and interviews. Something you did stuck, and whether it was because you were someone they knew and trusted was kind of beside the point. You took the time to learn how each of them would learn the best from you, and tailored sessions to maximise their recall of their ments. And it fucking worked. You should really allow yourself to feel your oats more often than you did. The cloud of self depreciation that had been looming and trying to take root was dissolved. You did a good job. Others had told you so, you knew it to be true. You just had to be consistent in telling your self doubt to go fuck itself when it next tried to diminish your achievements. You felt a little lighter than you had this morning, one less voice causing chaos in your mind.

Riding on your good mood, you decided to take a walk through the nearby night markets, enjoying food from the street vendors and looking at the pretty wares others had on offer. You resisted the urge to buy gifts for the guys - this was a day for you, not a day for you to revert to stressing over if you would be giving a gift as a friend, as a romantic partner, or as a farewell. For now you simply took in the craftsmanship of the trinkets, clothing and jewellery on offer - deciding that you would go to more night markets in the future. The streets were so full of life, bustling with a palpable energy that was infectious. You loved it. The streets were illuminated with soft and pretty lights, making you feel like you were walking through a little fairytale rather than the streets of Seoul. It was an impressive feat for this small section of such a bright and bustling city to achieve. 

Eventually you decided it was time to begin the journey back towards your apartment. You wanted to call your family, possibly a friend as well, just to update them on your life as a translator overseas. Now that you actually recognised the work that you had done you knew you could feel confident talking to them about it. Talking about it to someone outside of the business might also help bring other things you were worried about into focus. You headed home with your head held high, finally feeling good about the work you had done these past months. 

Speaking with your parents and your closest friend back home helped you unpack more of your thoughts. Ones you wouldn’t have realised if you hadn’t had to conceal certain aspects of your life over here. Describing the boys as acquaintances then colleagues felt weird and wrong, but you knew you had to hide the friendship to an extent. After all, they didn’t know how damaging that kind of news could be if it got out and they would not feel the need to keep that information to themselves. You knew they’d just say you were overreacting if you told them not to tell anyone about it, so you simply kept that from them. It was easier this way even if it felt off. They meant more than you could tell your parents.

You’d always worried that your family wouldn’t be proud of you for taking a job in a foreign country and leaving as quickly as you did. You’d expected to cop an earful from your mother for not calling her more often but you were pleasantly surprised to hear how many questions she had about your work - how was your boss, how did they assign clients, were they treating you well, were the hours humane, were the conditions fair, did you get sufficient pay and time off. The list was endless. You answered all of her questions to the best of your ability without breaching your contract or giving away incriminating details. Your father wanted to know all about your living conditions, was it in a good neighbourhood, was the security good, were you safe, were you being smart when you left the house. You allowed him to nag you since that was his love language - fretting about his daughter's safety. He even convinced you to hang up and call again on video so you could show him your apartment and so they could see your face, to make sure you were being truthful about eating and sleeping well. Definitely not because they also missed you terribly. Once you had appeased them, promising no less than five times that you were keeping out of trouble, were eating well and getting enough sleep, did they allow you to ask them questions about life after you left home. It was comforting to talk to them, even if it made you miss them terribly - you longed for a warm hug from each of them more than you wanted to admit. You dodged questions of romance, citing that you were far too busy with work to date. You also had to explain how dating culture was different here, and once they knew how much faster relationships began your father was much happier to know that you weren’t dating. You’d die if he knew what you had been doing though. 

You eventually told them that you were at the end of the current contract you were on and that you were awaiting a final evaluation to see if the company you had been on contract with wanted to keep you on for other projects or if your boss would be assigning you to a new company to work with new artists. Your father could tell from your voice that you were feeling anxious about being in limbo. He told you to rest assured that you did the best work you could, and that your successes would be noticed. He told you that if they renewed your contract that would be great because you already had rapport and knew your way around the company building, feeling comfortable with that environment but he also told you that if they didn’t, that it wouldn’t take long for your boss to find you a new company because of your achievements on your current contract, and that change wasn’t a bad thing. It could lead to bigger and brighter things. Your mother was always good at talking out the minutiae of a problem with you but your father could pinpoint what you needed to hear and ease your busy mind. It was a trait you were thankful he had because it was what you needed right now. You talked for a long time after that, catching up on everything you had missed in their lives, on tv shows, the news, gossip around town. Your mother could harp on about anything if you let her. Eventually you had to try and wind up the conversation, you did have another call to make after all. After promising to call more often they let you go so you could call your closest friend. 

Speaking with her went exactly as you thought it would. First there was a lot of nagging about how you never called or told her anything, how you’d abandoned her for the rich and famous clients you had. That you’d probably snagged some uber rich and hot guy and forgotten all about little old her. Then came the endless I miss you’s followed by all the things she’d been dying to tell you. You got wildly sidetracked as you caught up on her life, her new boyfriend, her work, her plans and seemingly endless tangents. She was the kind of friend who could easily take over a conversation, something she had often had to do in the past. There were times where you just preferred to go quiet and let others lead the small talk. You preferred topics that interested you when meeting new people because you had something to contribute, and surface level conversation kind of bored you. You could do it, and did when work required it of you, but in your personal life you were often much more reserved in conversation with strangers. There was probably something to unpack there but you chose to ignore that for now.

You went through a similar interrogation about work and life in Korea with her, though she pressed for far more details than your parents did since she had some idea that you were working with idols. You managed to avoid incriminating yourself in any way but you knew this would not be the last time she pressed you for information. She had a knack for knowing when things were left unsaid, and boy did you leave a lot of things about your situation unsaid. When you got to the topic of your current employment potentially coming to an end she made similar points to your father, though she added that the more people you worked for in the entertainment sector, the more likely it was for you to meet some amazing guy. You almost choked on your laughter at that. Once again you had to promise to contact her more often before she would let you get off the phone with her. 

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: Don’t think for a moment that I didn’t pick up on the fact that something is going on with you.

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: I won’t push you for an explanation yet, but know that I’m here for you love. Anytime. 

She was too perceptive for her own good. You hated and loved her for it.

[9:21PM] You: Nothing gets past you does it? I should have known you’d pick up on it. I’m not ready to talk about it yet, still wading through my thoughts etc. But thank you bby. ILYSM <3

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: <3 Talk to me when you’re ready to unpack everything in that pretty little head of yours. ILYSM2

The calls left you feeling even more grounded and settled in your emotions. Your mind continued to be quiet and calm as you got ready for bed, hoping you would get a decent night's sleep and continue your ‘me’ time tomorrow. After all you still had to wade through your feelings about the guys, where everything between the lot of you stood now and where things were going. You weren’t sure that you could fully work out your feelings without talking to them, which could go horribly wrong but you were just too confused. You knew one thing for certain, you had to tell them that there had to be no more sex related things between any of you until this whole thing was worked out. That obviously meant no stress relief fucking with Minseok, but also had to include suggestive comments and jokes. You just weren’t sure if anything could be taken at face value, or if there was more to it.

You promised yourself that if you still felt calm and clear in your thoughts by tomorrow afternoon that you would reach out to the guys. Sure they were giving you space now, but you weren’t so naive to believe that this would continue if you reached a week with zero contact. Sure Minseok or Kyungsoo would message you but you’d rather not let it reach that point if you could help it. You knew them well enough to know that they’d start to worry, and then they’d jump to conclusions that it was somehow their fault that you weren’t talking to them. That was something you wanted to avoid. You weren’t the only one capable of spiralling in your thoughts.

***

Thankfully sleep came easily for you. The bed was comfy, the sheets a perfect texture and the room was cool, allowing you to snuggle into a blanket burrito and sleep deeply. You awoke the next day feeling well rested and more at peace than you’d felt in weeks. You promised to give yourself until the afternoon to make contact and you planned on honoring that self imposed promise so you headed out on another stroll since the weather was yet again pleasant. First stop was the coffee shop for your daily dose of sugar in liquid form (also known as an iced chocolate) and a flaky pastry. Today that was a blueberry danish. With your tasty treats in hand, you set off through the closest park, hoping to find a duck pond to sit by while you ate. There was no reason or tradition for the dunk pond, you just liked being near water when you wanted to get lost in thought. 

As luck would have it, you did find a pond, sadly barren, with no ducks, but it still had the desired effect of being an idyllic backdrop for you. You made a mental list of the things you needed to complete before returning to your apartment. 1. Get groceries so you could cook yourself some meals for the next week. 2. Buy some new clothes and accessories before the season changes so you wouldn’t be caught out. 3. Visit a nearby corgi cafe so you could give some fluffballs your love. 4. Buy a couple of gifts to send home to your parents and closest friend. It wasn’t too overwhelming, but it should keep you occupied until it was time to reach out to the guys. You probably wouldn’t check off the final item today, that would require a future visit to the night markets. 

Groceries were reasonably simple. After talking with your family you suddenly craved a simple western meal so you’d decided on some pan cooked chicken with roasted vegetables and a salad. If you seasoned each chicken breast slightly different it would change up your meals enough each night for you to not grow bored of them. You managed to successfully buy some new clothes and accessories to put away for the next season and then spent two blissfully happy hours at the corgi cafe. You were constantly being prodded with little paws or wet noses asking for pats and treats. You were quite literally covered in fur but you didn’t care. They were so cute and getting to spend time with them really filled the part of you that desperately wanted a pet. You’d have one one day, when the time was right and you could dedicate yourself to training and giving them all the affection in your being. 

With a little tri-coloured corgi resting his head on your lap you let your thoughts drift. When would you get the call from Mr. Kim? At this point you just wanted to have your meeting so you could stop weighing up the uncertainty of your professional future. Once that was set then you knew you could much more easily discuss where things either should or should not progress with the guys. That moment of clarity for what you wanted in that respect remained elusive. You knew that you wanted them in your life, and whilst the thought of nothing more than friendship didn’t entirely sit well with you (you still couldn’t pinpoint why that was), you knew you could do that if that’s all they wanted from you. You felt something for each of them but you hadn’t fallen hard for anyone, a feat that you thanked your guarded heart for immensely. There was closeness, attraction and lust but no deep romantic love. You could see yourself falling if you opened your heart to it and if it was reciprocated by them, but for now you were safe from heartbreak if they didn’t have interest in you like that. 

You’d thought about what you’d do if more than one, or oddly if all of them wanted some sort of arrangement with you. You’d decided that you weren’t opposed to the idea, but only if certain ground rules were in place to keep everyone safe.  If they were opposed to a more polyamorous relationship then you would step back and remain their friend. You refused to allow them to fight and potentially damage their relationships with each other - both personally and professionally - over dating you. It could be seen as a clinical approach but the reality was that they were at the peak of their careers right now and you would not allow the prospect of dating you to get in the way of that. You weren’t that important, you couldn’t be. There was also the secretive nature of whatever relationship you all moved forward with. Male idols were not supposed to be close with other women, that only led to dating scandals which was another thing you wanted to avoid at all costs. 

Ultimately you had to talk to the guys and lay all of your thoughts out for them. They had to know where you stood and then you had to give them time to work out where they stood and what they wanted. Would that be an awkward as fuck conversation? Yes. Was it necessary? Also yes. It was time. No more radio silence. No more dwelling. You quickly sent off a message before you could talk yourself into taking another day to sit with your thoughts. 

[6:13PM] You: Are you guys busy?

The response was almost instantaneous. You hoped that didn’t mean they were hanging out by their phones waiting to hear from you. 

[6:13PM] Junmyeon: Noona! It’s nice to hear from you :)

[6:13PM] Junmyeon: We all just got home. Do you need something?

His words calmed you a little. It was his usual routine to check his phone as soon as he got home. Then he did his best to ignore it for a few hours, only answering if a manager or family member called.

[6:14PM] You: I was hoping I could come up and have a chat with everyone?

[6:14PM] You: But like, only if you’re all free and ok to have me over. I’m sure you’re all still tired.

You might be offering to have this meeting but that did not mean you weren’t incredibly anxious about it. You’d kept your thoughts at bay for almost two days but as soon as you put the talk on the table all of your fears resurfaced. What if they were mad at you? What if you’d read too much into this relationship? What if you caused a rift in the group? You didn’t want to be EXO’s Yoko. 

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: Nonsense. Come on up.

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: They’d kill me if I didn’t invite you up here and you know it.

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: All I’ve heard since we boarded the plane is whiny men. Get your ass up here and put me out of my misery!

You laughed at that. You could practically see him pouting as he typed the messages out to you. It didn’t seem like they were mad, but a small part of you also began to worry that they were too prone to overreacting. You shut that down when you reminded yourself that you’d basically cut them off cold turkey right at the end of the tour. The only people who had spent time with you after that final concert were Minseok and Baekhyun, and only them and Junmyeon knew about your meeting, unless they’d told the others about it. After all you had said they could do that. 

[6:15PM] You: It’s barely been 36 hours. You guys are maybe a little too codependent on me.

[6:15PM] You: But fine, I’ll be up in like 30 mins. Is that enough time for you to round everyone up?

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: You know we love you, but it was the radio silence and request to not contact you that sent them in a tailspin.

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: Not that I’m mad, just to be clear. I get it, but they lowkey freaked out.

Yeah, that checked out. You needed to just get home and go see your ragtag bunch of idiots who seemed to care about you more than you ever thought they would. However you also need to stop whatever attempt at ‘down with the cool kids’ lingo Junmyeon was trying to achieve. He already got teased enough for being the old man of the group and poorly inserting lingo that was clearly out of place in his vernacular was not going to help him.

[6:15PM] You: Don’t say lowkey, that’s not who you are. 

[6:15PM] You: Sehun is probably the only one of you who can get away with saying that. Chanyeol and Baekhyun think they can, but the jury is out on whether or not they can.

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: I’m going to ignore that slander of my character. I’m up on current slang. 

You actually facepalmed. Why was he like this? WHY.

[6:16PM] You: Seriously. STOP. You are in no way helping yourself here.

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: 30 minutes is fine. See you soon. 

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: Just to check though, should I be emotionally prepared for some heartbreaking and serious talk? You rarely ask to speak to all of us at once.

You supposed it could come off as a we need to talk moment given the lack of context you’d provided. And it kind of was that, but also not? You really didn’t want them to freak out. Nine guys fretting would be too overwhelming for you.

[6:16PM] You: Semi serious, but nothing heavy. I just want to explain myself and where my head has been at so you all understand why I kind of just disappeared.

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: Bet. See you soon then <3

[6:17PM] You: You are too old to be saying bet. Who is teaching you this shit? You know what. Don’t answer that. Just stop saying ‘trend’ words. We both know you’re not cool enough to pull them off. No offence.

[6:17PM] You: See you soon. <3

[6:17PM] Junmyeon: Wow noona. Harsh. My lingo is on fleek, it's rude of you to not realise that.

[6:17PM] You: I’m never going to speak to you again. 

[6:17PM] You: And I might have to cause bodily harm to whoever taught you this lingo.

You locked your phone before you cringed at any further attempts at current slang were sent to you. It was go time for you. Whether you were ready or not (you were not), the conversation was happening. Time to get your butt home and face the music. So to speak. You just hoped you weren’t about to fuck it all up. 

***

Nine pairs of eyes stared back at you from the various spots in the living room. You stood awkwardly in front of the tv as you contemplated whether or not to find yourself a chair or if you were just going to stand here and speak. The choice ended up being made for you as Yixing brought a chair in for you to sit on. It was still placed in the centre of the room facing all of them, but it felt a little less intimidating to sit before speaking. Yixing’s fingers brushed over your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, before he moved back towards his place on the lounge. 

You cleared your throat and decided to approach this as you would remove a bandaid - quickly. You knew the guys were all wondering what the cause of your no contact rule was and the sooner you put them out of their misery the better. It would be better for you as well because you would get at least this part of the conversation out of your brain. Your time at the aquarium had helped clear your thoughts, as had your walk through the city. You weren’t so sure if the evening sitting in your apartment spiralling in your thoughts helped, so this was your attempt at preventing that from happening again tonight while still putting some space between them and you while you sorted your shit out.

“I uh, I want to apologise for not speaking with any of you properly before we flew back from the tour.” You held up a hand to stop the immediate chorus of responses that were coming from the guys. “Please let me get all of this out before any of you speak otherwise I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through it.” Nine heads nodded at you and waited for you to continue. 

“I got really in my head about everything and needed to take a step away from all of it, from everyone, while I tried to settle my thoughts.” You started. “First I worried that I hadn’t done a good job because I’d been unprofessional, but after I let myself spiral I realised that wasn’t true and that I had done a great job. I didn’t get to tell you after the last show ended but I could not be more proud of each and every one of you. Your English improved SO much and whilst a certain amount of that is on me, a huge part of that is on you for applying yourselves to the lessons and the study in order to make those improvements. You should also all be really proud of yourselves for the progress you’ve all made.” You couldn’t help but smile at them, pride shining through you. You were truly impressed at the work they’d put in and the results they’d shown in such a small timeframe. “Were part of the lessons and some of my conduct unprofessional? Yes, but I now believe that none of those things hindered your progress, nor were they the sole motivation for your improvements. Whether I’m wrong or right about this, I’m now choosing to believe that they were a pleasant bonus to all of this.”

Time for the big reveal. The thing that had been weighing on you, causing you to nearly have multiple panic attacks. The thing you were most scared about admitting to them. Would they thing you were overreacting or crazy? Would they understand? “My relationship with all of you also began to get muddled in my head by the end of the tour. We all met before I took on the role of teacher and prior to that we were all friends, and with more than one of you there was also an undercurrent of flirtation - regardless of whether any of us were going to act on it or not. Then I became someone who worked for you, who was quite literally on call for if you needed a lesson, in any setting and at any time of day. We were still friends but it did alter the relationship with you. Then I added in the reward/punishment system and that kind of threw a spanner in the works. We were all close, but inevitably when you add physical intimacy or sex to the equation it blurs the lines. My brain kept spiralling between ‘are we friends, colleagues, fuck buddies, in a relationship, did you never want to see me again, were you going to fight if any of us wanted a romantic relationship…’ so yeah, after the last night in America I withdrew into my head and just needed to be with my thoughts - as much as I really really really did not want to sift through them. I knew I needed to for the sake of my mental wellbeing. I hadn’t realised it but those thoughts had been building for quite some time and after all the lessons were over and all rewards or punishments received, those thoughts were relentless and overwhelming. I couldn’t ignore them any longer.”

You couldn’t stop talking. If you did, you were pretty sure you’d bottle everything up until you did what you were best at, running. It wasn’t a fair thought to have, but sadly you were in no state to control the cruelty of your thoughts. You just had to keep speaking and once you finished you hoped they understood. “As I’m sure Minseok and Baek told you, I had a meeting with the managers and Junmyeon to discuss my work and for feedback to be provided. Without going into too much detail, the meeting went well, but my future with SM hangs on your CEO. He was sent video of your ments and interviews while overseas to review as well as feedback from the managers, staff and yourselves. I will either be let go and my boss will find me a contract with another company - which will mean we won’t see each other as much or as freely - or I’ll be kept on one of two contracts with SM. Either an exclusive contract with EXO with allowances for freelance tutoring in my free time within SM, or a contract with SM where I would not be assigned any specific group but would be available at the company to provide lessons for existing artists and trainees. Either of those options would mean we would see more of each other, but the latter would mean we would not be able to speak as freely as we do now with each other.”

“I spent a lot of time stressing about what I wanted to happen and what possible scenarios could happen but I guess professionally any option is good for me as all options mean I remain working in this field and helping others improve their language skills. I stress over large changes in my life, not sure if that is something I’ve ever mentioned, but it’s a thing. Obviously.” You scoffed as you made a vague gesture at yourself and the clear state of stress you were in. “Personally, I don’t want to lose what we have. I cherish each of you and love that we’ve still been able to hang out and play around while we’re all working. I know we’d make it work if I have to go to another company but I know we would see each other significantly less than we do now.”

You took a deep breath. You hadn’t looked at any of them while you spoke. You knew if you saw their eyes you’d stop speaking. So you just couldn’t. Not yet. What if they looked at you with pity, anger, happiness, disgust, or worse - indifference. You could rationalise it if they felt something, but seeing them feel nothing when your mind had been fucking chaos might just be the straw that broke the camels back. You didn’t look at them. “So to sum up, I overthought everything, stressed, spiralled and withdrew from all of you which may or may not have been the right thing to do but I’m here now. I should know in a few days where my future lies work-wise but wanted to open the floor to discuss whatever this relationship we all have now is because I don’t think it is something I can resolve by myself. We don’t have to discuss it now, but I want you to think about it. I don’t know if you view me as a friend or as someone you want to pursue something with, or someone you no longer wish to see. I’m sorry to just dump all of this on you but I need to put it all out there, as much as I can right now anyway.” 

You’d done it. You’d told them what had been going on in your mind. Mostly. You hadn’t discussed your feelings but you’d mentioned all possibilities so that had to count for something. You really just wanted to run and hide, to become invisible rather than be perceived right now, but you knew you had to remain in your spot and hear what they had to say. No matter what it was. 

Chanyeol was the first to speak. He ran his hands through his hair as he tried to keep his tone even. “Not going to lie, this is a lot. I think I speak for all of us when I say that, and I think you know that. I appreciate you opening up to us about what was going on in your head, I'm sure we all do, even if it does leave us with more questions and discussions to have.”

You nodded. It was a lot. You knew it. You’d lived with all of it in your brain. It was only fair to give them time as well. That’s why you’d said you didn’t need to discuss it now.

Minseok was next to speak, he smiled softly at you, his own way of trying to calm your nerves even now. “I don’t think it’s something we should talk about tonight. You know as well as we do that we can be impulsive and that discussions can get heated quickly if we haven’t had time to choose our words. As weird as it will be I think we all need to take some time to think about what we want, and what will work best moving forward.”

You nodded again. You’d used all your words in speaking to them and now could bring yourself to speak. 

“This is going to sound shitty noona, and for that I’m sorry but I don’t think there is a diplomatic way to put it, well at least not one that I can think of right now,” Junmyeon said, sighing as he had to be the guy to say it. “but we do need to consider how it might affect the group if one or more of us are interested in pursuing you, especially if it means some may be rejected. At the end of the day, EXO has to come first, and god I know that’s a shitty thing to say, but it’s something we need to think about and probably talk about amongst ourselves. No offence.” You knew someone would have to raise that point, and it was a valid one, one you’d thought about as well. It did make sense that it was their leader who was the one to say it. After all, he always did put the group above everything else.

You had to speak, nodding wouldn’t suffice in response to that. It would only make him feel like a jerk and that was the last thing you wanted him to feel. You cleared your throat and hoped you said the right things. “All valid points, and don’t worry, there’s no offence taken, Junmyeon. I’d also thought that you should all take some time away from me to think over what you want and to discuss with the group. If one or more of you wanting to pursue me would negatively affect the group then I don’t think anything more than friendship is possible.” 

You paused. Would they think of this option if you didn’t raise it? You weren’t sure. But if it helped them with their deliberations then it was worth the level of embarrassment you were about to feel by simply suggesting it. “I guess the last thing for me to put out there is that after some thinking, I’m not opposed to exploring the possibility of a polyamorous type of situation if that is something you guys land on. However, I’m also not opposed to monogamy or just friendship with all of you. It might sound like I either don’t care that much or that I don’t know what I want, and the latter is somewhat true, but I did draw a line between what we were doing in the rewards versus hanging out outside of that and it prevented me from allowing too many feelings to take root. I’m not sure where any of you stand and I don’t want to know right now either since all of this” You gestured with your hand, waving it vaguely to indicate all of you. “Is so fresh and we all have a lot to consider, or not consider. I don’t know.” Breathe you told yourself. You had to breathe or you’d panic before this conversation ended.  “I’ll hopefully have a follow up meeting in a couple of days and then will know what will be happening with the work aspect of my life. I think we should meet once I know that side of things and chat again? But if you need more time, I would completely understand.”

Not much was said after that. The air was tense and awkward as you all kind of forgot how to act around each other. You stayed for a little while to hear about the plans for their encore concert but as soon as that conversation topic dwindled, you said your goodbyes and headed back to your apartment.

It might be time to call your friend. You were more confused after that meeting and once again on the precipice of a breakdown. You couldn’t wade through this on your own and you couldn’t ask one of the guys for help because this was about them. You couldn’t tell your friend every detail, but you could tell her enough. 

[10:49PM] You: So uh, are you free for that chat?

[10:49PM] Your bestest friend in the whole world: For you? Always. 

***

You awoke the next morning to the sound of a text message notification on your phone. You rubbed your eyes as you tried to focus on the name of the contact who sent the message. You sat up in your bed as soon as your eyes managed to make out that the message was from your boss. Hopefully it was the message you’d been waiting for.

[7:42AM] Mr. Kim: Good morning, I hope you have had sufficient time to relax since returning from the overseas tour with EXO. I had a meeting this morning with SM’s CEO, Lee Soo Man about your performance under the current contract you have with SM and what his thoughts were for your potential future prospects at the company. I’ve scheduled a meeting for us at midday at my office. I’ll see you in a few hours to discuss. 

If you were half awake at the start of that message, you were wide awake now. Of course a meeting is called the day after you dropped what felt like a literal bomb on your nine upstairs neighbours. You had just over four hours to freshen up and get yourself over to his office. Not that you were nervous… not at all… not even a little bit. It wasn’t like the outcome of this meeting determined the future of your career or anything. No, shut up. You tried telling your mind as it attempted to spiral before any form of carb or sugar entered your system. You repeated your father’s words over in your head as you picked out clothes for the meeting, a simple and professional outfit that you would not anxiety sweat through before you even reached Mr. Kim’s office. You showered and got yourself ready for the day and whatever it would bring. Maybe it would be better once it was all over, then you could stop overthinking and fretting about every possible outcome. That wasn’t how you liked doing things but it seemed to be what happened whenever it was important to you. When you cared.

Just before you left the apartment you sent a message to the group chat so that everyone was kept up to date.

[10:25AM] You: Hey, just a heads up that I’m on my way to a meeting now. LSM has made his decision and I’ll know my work fate in a couple of hours. I know I suggested meeting again after I had my meeting but given I literally only proposed everything to you last night, I’ll bench our talk until you guys have had time to deliberate and all that. Just reach out when you want to chat and I’ll make myself available. 

It felt clinical and not how you’d ever spoken to them when there was no one to overhear your conversations. It felt like how you spoke to them when one of their managers was present. It felt wrong and something in your heart hurt. There was no response, but you could see the members slowly reading your message. Sehun reacted to it with a thumbs up message which then spurred everyone into chatting, mainly to scold Sehun but seeing the chat alive again felt right.

You put your phone on do not disturb mode as you approached Mr. Kim’s office, coffee in hand. Not the iced variety that was so popular among idols. No, the purpose of this coffee was not to keep you awake, rather it was to give you a caffeine hit as well as comfort you with its warmth. You were always nervous when it came time for a performance review, but unlike last time with Blackpink, you were a lot closer with the members of EXO and their staff. Unlike last time you knew that you had done your job successfully, you’d been present to witness the members grow in their language skills and watched them deliver their ments to their American audiences with little to no translation required. The only slip was the night Baekhyun forgot his lines, but the following shows he required no assistance.

Once you arrived, Mr. Kim’s secretary ushered you into his office, telling you he was just finishing up a meeting in another room and would be with you shortly. Thankfully you did not have to wait long before he entered the room. He smiled and greeted you warmly then moved to sit at his desk. You’d been in this room a few times now and it was always nerve wracking. 

“Once again I can tell that you are eager to hear your evaluation.” He chuckled.

You nodded. “Apparently my face hides nothing from you.”

“Actually your face is not what gave you away, it was the fidgeting fingers this time.” He pointed at your free hand which was unfortunately fidgeting with the buckle on your handbag.

Your fingers stilled, but you itched to keep busy with something. Anything to get the frenetic energy out of your system. “You got me. Now please put me out of my misery already and give me my evaluation.”

Lucky for you, he prided himself on business and got right to it. You never had to endure too much small talk with him. It was a much more pleasant experience than the managers you had back before moving here. They seemed to want to spend up to ten minutes chatting about nothing before switching to business mode. That was not the Mr. Kim way. His way was better. For you at least. Mr. Kim pulled a file up on his computer and turned the screen so that you could see it as well. “As you already know from the last time we did this, we assess you in three areas. 1. How well the tasks were performed 2. How you worked with the clients and 3. Work ethic/professionalism. I’ve reviewed the recording of the last meeting you had during the tour as well as received feedback from the SM CEO.” 

He clicked on a file and opened it. “This is a review of the tasks performed. As you can see, it was unanimous across the board that you have excelled in this area. You successfully prepared the members for their interviews and concert ments, improving their English significantly. You joined the group on tour and no issues were reported by staff or the members, nor did you appear in any fan reports or cause any scandals.” He paused to look at you, a knowing smile on his face. “But you already know this from your meeting with the managers and Junmyeon. I’ll only add the feedback from their CEO. He said he was impressed that someone of your young age was able to successfully complete these tasks to the level that you did, he made special mention of the tailored lessons as a genius move on your part. He noted that whilst it would be an arduous task for all clients, it worked for EXO in ways no one expected. They have not had this level of success in teaching a group that didn’t already have a member with a decent grasp on English or a native English speaker. He was also very impressed that you were able to fit in and work seamlessly with a well established team.” Mr Kim paused, signalling that you could now speak before he addressed the next criterion.

So far things were going well. Logically you knew that you had succeeded in your role, but it was always a relief to hear it. Hearing from your boss and the head of the group's company eradicated the last of the anxiety you felt about your ability as a teacher. “Thank you Mr Kim. I felt that I was succeeding in my role and I am glad to have that confirmed by the head of their company, but I do have to ask what he meant about my age?”

“Most translators or teaching staff that are brought in are older than you. Especially when it comes to English. There is a greater risk when idols are involved and most companies specifically request someone over 40 to be assigned so that there could never be any misunderstandings around the nature of the relationship.” He replied.

Your brow furrowed. “Then how did I get the job? I’m significantly younger than that, even if I’m still older than the members.” 

He smiled smugly. “Ah well that was me. I know companies prefer older staff, especially when they are working with the opposite sex, but I had a hunch that you would succeed where others had failed with EXO. Their CEO reluctantly agreed to trial you and had to admit he was pleasantly surprised after receiving the one month evaluations of the members progress.” 

Noticing that you weren’t going to add any more to that discussion, Mr. Kim moved on. He scrolled through the document until he reached the heading indicating the second criterion. “Before I move into discussing the external evaluations I would like to say that I am personally very impressed that you took on the feedback provided after your time with Blackpink and applied it to EXO. You managed to become more familiar with them and it shows in the reviews from the others. I strongly believe that this improvement is what made this job such a success for you.” He gestured towards you. “So I wanted to commend you on the large improvement in this area.”

You smiled. “Thank you Mr. Kim. Your advice was intrinsic to the development of the tailored lessons as well as my comfortability in becoming closer with the members so that we could work together to the best of our abilities.”

“As you know from the feedback from both managers and members, you exceeded expectations in this area, and everyone benefited from your approach. The CEO questioned whose idea it was for you to become closer to the members and expressed the concerns he had about it. Once I explained that it was feedback that you had been given from myself and the reasons why I felt it would improve outcomes, especially given your closeness in age to any 2nd or 3rd gen idols in comparison to the on staff teachers who were usually around the same age as the idols parents he understood. He stated that whilst he had his reservations about that kind of approach given the potential issues that could arise, dating scandals, sasaeng accusations, unprofessionalism etc. he could see how it worked in the members favour. The group had undergone quite a few hardships prior to this comeback, with members leaving and dating scandals damaging their public image. He stated that they were likely to be quite reserved and untrustworthy of someone new to their staff and that it would take a long time for them to begin to trust a new staff member. However, you managed to make them feel comfortable and not lose the authority you had over them as their teacher, whilst remaining respectful at all times. He said he was very pleasantly surprised by this.” He sat back in his chair while you processed his words. Mr. Kim had only had meetings with you a handful of times before this, but he already knew to let you take a moment while his words sunk in before having you respond. 

A weight lifted off your shoulders. Yes, you recalled the nature of the meeting you had with the managers and Junmyeon whilst overseas, but your brain had managed to twist their inarguably positive feedback into statements that you had turned over in your mind repeatedly as you second guessed every moment you’d spent with the members. Knowing that the CEO was reviewing all of the work you had completed overseas had stressed you more than you had realised. It was as if you could feel the tension leaving your body every time Mr. Kim read out his feedback. 

“I’m glad my efforts have been recognised, and that I’ve shown improvement in this area. I also understand the concerns their CEO had. We had meetings with the members and their managers regarding safety and security of both the members and myself to ensure no photos were snapped if we were not on a schedule. The last thing any of us wanted to do was bring negative attention to this working relationship. We also discussed at length the boundaries we should draw in order to not become overly familiar with each other and I believe that assisted greatly.” It wasn’t a lie as such. You really did have those meetings and you really did discuss those boundaries. It was just the managers weren’t present for the third meeting which involved you and the members working out how to put each other in line if any of you slipped and a glimpse of how close you really were slipped through. It was a miracle nothing ever happened in view of other staff or the public, but there were a couple of close calls. You’d all been very lucky in that regard.

Mr. Kim powered on. “On to the final point, we’ve never had any issues with your work ethic or professionalism, and neither have the members or managers. Their feedback was passed on to the CEO, who praised you for being available at short notice in order to fit with the members busy schedules. He was also very happy that the members did not abuse this clause in your contract but rather made sure the others were aware if one of them had required you early in the morning or late at night so that they could avoid overworking you.” Mr. Kim closed the document. “I’ll be honest, he got rather sidetracked at this point and spent a good ten minutes praising his EXO boys. I can assure you that he was very pleased with both your work ethic and professionalism. He agreed with the manager's statements that you clearly succeeded at your role, exceeding all expectations that were had of you.” He chuckled as he shook his head. “But once he starts talking about those boys it is hard to shut him up. You’d think they were his sons sometimes.”

You allowed yourself a pleased hum at the feedback you’d received. High marks in all areas of assessment. Exceeded expectations, exemplary results. “Thank you Mr. Kim. I’m very glad that my hard work paid off and that my approach was successful for the members.” You paused. “However, as much as I want to just bask in this feedback, I am too curious about my contract. Did their CEO happen to mention if he planned to renew my contract, or are you finding me a new group to work with?” You needed to know, and you needed to know like two weeks ago at this point. 

Mr. Kim, to his credit, did not outright laugh at your impatience. Instead he opened a drawer and pulled out a manila folder. “I understand that this must have been weighing on your mind these past few weeks.” 

You nodded. “You would be very correct.”

“He did come to a decision. I won’t draw this out as I can tell you just want me to get to the point. He was incredibly impressed by your determination and competency, and as we all know, the results speak for themselves. He does want to offer another contract, however it would differ from your current one.” He stated.

“How so?” You asked.

“Firstly, this contract would not commence until three months from now.” He explained. “They want you to continue your work with the company, working with all of their artists. EXO would take priority if and when they have any overseas schedules that would require them to speak English. The rest of the time you would assist whichever groups or artists he deems in need of your skills. You would also offer lessons in the company like you did whilst EXO were in Japan during your contract.” Mr. Kim slid the folder across the table for you to pick up and look over. 

“I am grateful to have the opportunity to continue to work with SM. Like I said in my meeting overseas, I have been treated exceptionally well by their company, its staff and idols and welcomed the opportunity to continue working with EXO, be assigned to another group within the company or as an in-house teacher/translator.” Well there it was, they had offered another contract. You could keep working for SM, potentially with the guys as long as their schedules required English, but you’d still be in the same building as them. There was a decent break before commencement which was nice, but you did have concerns about your income. Not working for three months would be a struggle for you financially. “I do have questions regarding the three month break in between contracts though.”

“I believe my next statement should cover whatever concerns you have.” He directed your attention to another section of the new contract. “During that time, SM has stated that they will contact you for freelance work if/when required but that you are also not exclusively bound to the label during that time, so you can assist other companies and artists. This will allow you to continue to earn income and gain further experience in this field. I will also say that you will find in the proposed contract that your fees have increased. I did not consult you on that, but felt that you had every right to request a higher rate given the success of your work thus far. I would encourage you to take a break for a couple of weeks, more if you wanted to take this opportunity to visit home, before letting me know you are ready for some more work with other artists. I do have one group in particular that I think would work for this short timeframe. They have not yet debuted but they do have varying levels of proficiency in English, varying from fluency to what is taught in our schools here.” He waved a hand in front of his face as he realised he’d said too much. “But that is a discussion for another date, I’m getting ahead of myself.”

You smiled, genuinely too. This was wonderful news and it settled a large part of your anxiety to have secured more work, especially work that would require little change. “Thank you Mr. Kim. I’ll take this contract home to review but it sounds promising. I think I will take a couple of weeks off to rest and recuperate, but I would like to request a clause be added to this contract. I understand that I may have some further changes to request, but I’m reasonably certain this one won’t already be in there.”

“What would that request be?” He asked.

“An allowance for one or two weeks of consecutive leave within the next 6 months for me to visit my family. I’m not ready to make a trip home yet, but I know I will be during that time period and I don’t wish to be told that I cannot go. I would provide sufficient notice for the leave, unless there was an emergency, so as to not hinder the progress of their artists' lessons.” In your mind it sounded reasonable, and you’d heard of difficulties with obtaining leave from work in Korea, so you wanted to safeguard yourself as best as you could. 

“I’ll have our lawyers make the addition. We’ll hold off sending it to SM until you’ve read through the contract and made any other amendments.” He stood and shook your hand. “You’ve done well so far, and I continue to be impressed with your work.”

The meeting ended shortly after that which you were glad for. The feedback was self esteem boosting, and proved to yourself that you had done a great job, that your hard work had not only paid off but had been noticed. You also managed to tell yourself that your closeness with the guys wasn’t the sole factor for your success, they really did suck at English before your lessons and whilst the sex during the rewards and punishments was great, you were pretty sure you couldn’t learn a language purely from fucking. Somewhere along the lines, your lessons struck a chord with them and they wanted to learn, so they did, and it stuck. That was a job well done by you. 

After you left Mr. Kim’s office you put your phone back in normal mode.The group chat had been busy these past few hours. Message notifications flooded your phone as you began the commute home. They had pinned a message so that you wouldn’t miss it once you finally checked your phone.

[11:48AM] Minseok: Please tell us when you finish your meeting. Kyungsoo wants you to come up for dinner so you can tell all of us what the outcome was. 

The messages after were a chorus of predictions and bickering. 

[11:51AM] Jongin: I think SM will do another contract.

[11:51AM] Sehun: Well duh. They’d be stupid to let her help our competitors.

[11:52AM] Jongdae: Noona could make some sweet demands if they offer a new contract.

[11:52AM] Kyungsoo: Yeah, make SM work for it. Lord knows they’ve fucked over too many idols in contracts. If they offer a new one MAKE A LAWYER LOOK AT IT.

[11:53AM] Yixing: Make demands of your own too. Make that thing benefit you, coz if they offer a new contract it means they want to stop you from working with other companies.

[11:53AM] Chanyeol: MAKE. SM. WORK. FOR. YOU. You’ll have the upper hand and they don’t want you to know that.

[11:54AM] Baekhyun: Yeah, fuck SM!!!

[11:54AM] Junmyeon: Guys… 

[11:54AM] Minseok: Idk man, all I see is valid points being made.

[11:55AM] Junmyeon: I… you were meant to be on my side Minseok.

[11:55AM] Minseok: I never promised that. 

[11:55AM] Minseok: Fuck SM. 

[11:56AM] Kyungsoo: So I think we might be doing the opposite of encouraging you to consider taking another contract with them if they offer. What we mean to say is, have someone look over the contract, make some demands (because they have to acknowledge your worth now) and know that our disdain for our company comes from the nature of idol contracts which are VERY different to the kind of contract you would be offered. 

[11:56AM] Junmyeon: Thank you!

[11:57AM] Kyungsoo: Stop making me do your job man. 

There were another 500 messages after that (which you did not read), but you made sure to send one as requested

[3:30PM] You: Holy crap that is a lot of messages. No offence but I am not reading through all of them. As requested, I’m letting you know that I’ve finished my meeting. I’m heading back to the apartment now. What time do you want me up there for dinner?

[3:30PM] Kyungsoo: Food should be ready at 7 PM. 

[3:30PM] You: I’ll see everyone then.

***

“Noona, can we talk before you come up for dinner?” You’d picked up on the first ring when you’d seen Baekhyun’s name pop up.

He sounded unsure of himself, which was a rarity. “Sure Baek. Is everything ok?”

“I think so? I hope so.” He groaned in frustration. “Ugh I don’t know.”

Now you were getting concerned. Was he ok? “What’s going on?”

“I’ve been thinking about everything you talked about last night and I think I understand why you had to just unload everything all at once to us.” He took a deep breath. “My brain has been working too much and making too many scenarios for me to keep up with.” 

Well that you could relate to. You really didn’t wish the clusterfuck that had been your thoughts over this past week on anyone, so you empathised with Baek if he was suffering with the downward spiral that too many thoughts inevitably brought. “I get that. Would it help if you just tell me everything?”

He was quiet for a moment as he thought over his options. Quite likely he was worried that speaking to you would only make things worse. That’s precisely what made you a nervous wreck before you word vomited all over their living room last night. “Maybe. Might make everything worse, I don’t know.”

You tried to sound reassuring. It was always easier for you to provide comfort in person or via text. Over the phone was some strange middle ground where you didn’t always stick the landing. “It’s just me. Since when have we ever not been able to talk to each other?”

“You’re right.” He said. “Fuck. Ok.” Yeah, he was nervous. Should you be nervous? Was he about to reject you? Was he going to confess? No. You needed to remain as calm as possible. He was the one allowed to freak out right now, not you. 

You pushed your growing anxiety down and said as reassuringly as you could. “I’m right here. Promise.”

You heard him take a steadying breath before he started speaking. “I guess I’ve been trying to work out where things stand between us.” He said. “It’s never just been friendship between you and I. There was always flirtation and we only got bolder with it as time went on until we had sex, which I know was as a result of my lesson, but I don’t know, we only had the lesson because we were about to fuck and you stopped it from happening until after that. I guess it felt like more than just because of the reward stuff I guess. It felt like something that was inevitable, like we were orbiting each other until we would ultimately collide.” He took a breath, meanwhile your heart was hammering in your chest. 

“I know we’ve discussed it and both agreed that there was something more there, some kind of feelings neither of us had addressed. I don’t know how you feel now, but for me, after we slept together those feelings only intensified. I still didn’t know what they were so I just assumed they were born from lust but when you asked for space and then went silent for days I realised that they weren’t feelings of lust. I realised that I care deeply for you and the very thought of you not being in my life hurt me to my very core. I know it was just sex for you and everyone else but for me, I can’t say for sure, but I think I like you as far more than a friend and would not be satisfied just being a fuck buddy. I know I said I would never entertain us ever being able to actually be a real thing but I want that so much that it is physically painful. I needed to tell you before we all talked tonight because I want to be selfish and pursue you myself but I don’t know where you stand. I don’t know if I’m making a fool of myself right now and you’re thinking of the nicest way to reject me or if you don’t know how you feel or if you feel the same. All I know is that I barely slept last night after I realised all of this and I had to say something.”

“Baek,” You started.

He didn’t let you get the words out, not that you even knew what those words would be. So maybe him interrupting you was for the best right now. “I know this is a lot to dump on you, I know that, but I needed to say it.”

You weren’t sure if you were ready to tell him everything you realised on your call last night. It was still too confusing. Still too fresh. But you also couldn’t leave him hanging with nothing after he just poured his heart out to you. “You know I have feelings for you, just that at the time I didn’t know what those feelings were.”

“Have you worked it out since then?” He all but whispered, as though he was scared of what your response would be. 

You couldn’t say it yet. You couldn’t say it until you believed it yourself. It wasn’t fair to him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to utter the words back to him. Not yet. “I think so but I’m not sure. I am so scared of ruining everything Baek.”

“I’ll let you think some more, but I want you to know that for me it is about much more than sex now. So think about how you feel and ask yourself if you feel the way you feel about me with anyone else?” He tried his best not to sound deflated, but you didn’t miss the pang of hurt in his voice as he spoke. He’d just confessed to you and whilst you hadn’t rejected him, you hadn’t reciprocated his feelings. You felt overwhelmed. You needed to say something, but what? What could you possibly say when you weren’t ready to admit how you felt, when you were too terrified to ask for what you wanted.”

You had to say something. For him, you couldn’t just leave him with nothing. “I -”

He cut you off again, though this time it was probably out of fear that you would reject his confession. “Don’t answer now. Just think about it and we’ll talk later. Bye noona.” He hung up before you could attempt to speak again.

You hung your head in shame. Why couldn’t you just tell him? You didn’t realise you were crying until you felt a tear hit your hand. You sank to the floor and let yourself cry for a few minutes, too overwhelmed with emotion to even try to stop the tears from falling. You felt guilty for not being able to tell him how you felt, for feeling like you were toying with his heart. This sweet, funny and endearing man, who had been so good to you. When he needed you the most, you’d choked. You didn’t deserve the feelings he harboured for you, how could you if you couldn’t even respond to him. How could you be deserving of that love when you all but pushed him away. 

By some stroke of luck your eyes weren’t too red or puffy when you checked them before leaving your apartment. You really hoped your night didn’t end with you returning to this apartment to cry over a ruined relationship. There was only one way to find out, and in order to do that, you needed to walk out your front door and head upstairs.

***

“Alright, how did the meeting go?” Sehun broke the silence that was permeating the dinner table. Everyone had greeted you when you’d arrived, and made some small talk about their day. That felt strange. You’d never lacked for conversation with these men, but now they seemed to be walking on eggshells around you and you weren’t sure if it was because they were trying to protect themselves or you from where this evening went.

Regardless, you decided to put on a brave face and do your best to hear them out without breaking down. You felt exposed, fragile and breakable. But you pretended otherwise as best as you could. You just hoped they couldn’t see through the facade. “Really well. The feedback was all very positive and everyone agreed that I did an excellent job. Your CEO expressed his concerns about my boss and the managers suggesting that we be more personable but he agreed that the fact that we did that probably served as a catalyst for the success of the lessons.”

“That’s fantastic news!” Jongin said, far louder than he or anyone else at the table were prepared for. Everyone, Jongin included, jumped a little at his volume. He muttered a bashful apology afterwards, stating that he was just really happy for you.

You smiled at him. He was so very different to what the general public saw when he was onstage. He was soft spoken and endearing beyond words. “I’m also really grateful for the feedback you guys provided. I didn’t get a chance to say it before so I’ll say it now, thank you. Your words meant so much to me.” It was the honest truth. You had no idea that they would be asked for feedback about your work, and while they could have provided generic positive feedback they didn’t. Instead they provided in depth feedback about your abilities and how well you had worked with them. You would be forever grateful for the kind words contained in their feedback.

Kyungsoo decided to add to the conversation, his soft yet commanding voice cutting through your thoughts. “Bias aside, you earned that feedback. We did our best to only give the facts and not let our friendship cloud our opinions of you.”

“You cannot deny that we sucked at English before you noona.” Chanyeol quipped, laughing as he spoke.

Junmyeon looked personally attacked by his words. “Speak for yourself!”

“No, he’s right. We were bad at it.” Minseok laughed. “Like really fucking awful.”

Yixing pushed the food around on his plate with his chopsticks. “Anyway, uh, not to be pushy or anything but did you talk about what’s next for you?” He briefly locked eyes with you before diverting his gaze back to his plate.

“Yeah we did. Uh, they offered me another contract.” You saw all nine heads suddenly turn towards you and felt their gazes on you. “I do have to read over it and make sure it's fair but essentially they want to put me on contract for another 2 years. If EXO has schedules requiring English, then me teaching you takes priority over other groups, otherwise I’m free to work with any artists under the SM umbrella. Your CEO may assign me a group to work with, or managers may request my help. If no one requests then I’m kind of an in-house teacher/translator.”

Jongdae grinned. “I’m not going to lie, I’m glad they offered you more work, they would have been idiots not to, but it does mean you won’t be a stranger.”

Minseok was more hesitant as he spoke.“What are your thoughts on it, just based on the offer given you haven’t read it yet.”

You sat back in your chair, contemplating your response. “I’ve only had good experiences with SM so far, so the offer sounds good to me. I know a lot of the staff, I know the building, the resources, I know some of the artists, obviously I know all of you and work well with you. It feels like a good choice over starting anew elsewhere and hoping that I’m treated as well as I am here.” You smiled a little. “Plus, I get to see you guys if I’m still here, that’s a bonus.” 

A smile finally formed on Minseok’s face. “I know we may have come across a bit brash earlier but,”

“Oh don’t worry. I already had a copy sent to a lawyer to look over it, and I also made a request for a leave allotment to be added into the contract.” You cut him off, already guessing what he was referring to from the earlier flood of messages. “Once I read through it myself I’ll discuss it with my lawyer and make any other changes that need doing then return it to Mr. Kim to negotiate for me.”

The unanimous response that came from all of them was creepily synchronised. “Good.” 

You thanked all of them for their kind words again. “The contract won’t start for a few months, so until then I’m likely going to be freelancing. Mr. Kim has an idea of another group I can work with briefly before I become exclusive to SM. I think I’m going to take a couple of weeks off before committing to any of that though. I need some time to recalibrate.” 

“Uh I guess that brings us to the elephant in the room.” Junmyeon said.

You waved your hands in front of you, not sure you would ever be ready for this conversation, but after how well the contract renewal offer had just gone you were apprehensive about the ‘what are we’ conversation. “Oh, we really don’t have to talk about it yet. I only mentally unloaded on all of you last night so if you need to take more time before discussing with me, please do.”

He chuckled awkwardly. “That’s the funny thing I think. Without really realising it we have discussed it over the past few months as things progressed.”

“Oh.”

He straightened in his seat and looked directly at you. “Yeah. We kind of realised that last night when we started trying to discuss it.” He shifted, trying to get comfortable in his head. That was the only sign you had that he was equally as nervous about this conversation as you were. “I think we should each just speak for ourselves and then go from there?” He offered.

All you could do was nod. “That seems fair.” This was happening. You weren’t sure you were prepared for it, regardless of what they said. 

“As the leader I’ll go first.” He shifted again, this time his eyes looked everywhere but you as he spoke. “I, well, uh, I’ve actually just started seeing someone. It’s very early days but I really like her and want to pursue things with her. My parents introduced us and weirdly we kind of hit it off, which is not what usually happens when my parents play matchmaker.” 

You thought you’d feel sad at being told someone wasn’t romantically interested in you, because that’s what this was right? He was dating someone and he really liked them. But rather than feeling like you’d been stabbed in the heart you felt happy for him. “So at present, pursuing anything other than friendship with you isn’t something I’m interested in. I also think we work better as friends and don’t want to lose the relationship we’ve got. We did have the least amount of sexual interaction so I don’t think it will have any impact on our friendship moving forward.” Once he finished speaking he lifted his gaze to you, apprehensively since he wasn’t sure how you’d react, but he visibly relaxed when he saw you beaming at him. “As long as a potential relationship with another member or members doesn’t leave anyone unsatisfied from the start then I give my blessings.”

“Are we going in age order?” Sehun asked.

Chanyeol replied. “That’s boring, just go in seating order.” 

“Fine.” Sehun sighed, resigned to his fate of being the next to speak. “Noona, I cannot deny that my punishment was fun and that I experienced more than I ever thought I would. But for me it was never that deep I guess.” He shrugged. “The punishment/reward was an opportunity to explore some fantasies with no strings attached with a person who I trusted. I think I’d be a shitty boyfriend to you as well, I can barely take care of myself, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to put up with that burden. I’m not boyfriend material yet.” He wasn’t wrong about that. He always turned up unannounced, never read the room, stole all your chocolates and sulked if he wasn’t the centre of attention. Well, not always, but it happened more than it probably should. Maknae privileges. “However, I am excellent bestie material. So I’d like to remain a very good friend to you.” You’d been rejected as a romantic partner but once again, you didn’t feel sad. Sehun was an excellent friend to have. He loved chatting so he always had good gossip and he was so beloved that he could almost get away with murder. He smiled softly at you, hoping you weren’t disappointed in his choice. 

Kyungsoo took a sip from his glass of water before grounding himself and speaking. “There are circumstances where I could see myself truly falling for you. You have a lot of the qualities that I look for in a partner. But I have to be truly honest with myself, and if I do that then I have to say that right now, I am so insanely career driven - both with music and acting. It doesn’t leave much time to fit in a relationship in a way that is fair to either person.” Logical reasoning. You understood that, but much like you had forced yourself to do last night, you wondered where his heart lay in this. “Our reward was incredibly fun, and something I would do again in a heartbeat, but it would be with no strings attached. I value your friendship above everything else and I also think that whilst you put poly on the table as an option, and it is not something I’m opposed to, I can’t ignore the fact that Baekhyun clearly has feelings for you that run deeper than I originally thought. So I think it would be unfair to pursue anything with you to see if feelings develop when one of us is already carrying that torch for you.” 

You were shocked. Baekhyun barely even reacted to Kyungsoo’s words, something that unnerved you. You could feel him staring at you. Was he that obvious to them? Had he told them? Kyungsoo wanted to simply remain friends, and if he wasn’t so aware of how Baekhyun felt then he would have been fine to have a friends with benefits kind of situationship going on. You weren’t really sure what to do with that information. It was very flattering, but did you want to entertain someone who wasn’t sure if they had feelings for you? 

Too impatient to wait to see if you were going to respond to anything that had just been said, Jongin began speaking. “You have been one of my closest friends since the start. You looked after me when the guys were on tour while I was injured and we hung out so much. I think we bonded over fried chicken and movies.” He smiled fondly at the memory. “You were one of the first people that I’ve met since we debuted who wanted to know me for me, not for who I was as an idol. I agree with hyung, there is a future where I could see myself falling for you under the right circumstances, you’re kind of loveable like that noona, but I would trade that possibility in an instant for your friendship. It means the world to me. I also think there’s one of us who has real feelings for you and it makes me giddy to think of the two of you together.” Did he also mean Baekhyun or was there another member harbouring feelings for you?

The chair next to Jongin scraped on the floor as Jongdae tried to adjust his sitting position. If he’d been going to cool, calm and collected - he’d failed. He looked stressed beyond belief. Was it him? Did he have feelings for you? “Ok so, like the others I cannot deny how highly I value your friendship,” Ok so not him then. “or the fact that I am a person with two working eyes and have spent too much time around Baekhyun to not notice his feelings for you.” You glanced at Baekhyun who still seemed to be checked out of the conversation, even with his eyes locked on you. His gaze was somehow blank and intense at the same time. Did he not care what anyone else was saying about you? Was he really going to be that selfish? He said he wanted you to himself but did that mean that if anyone else at this table confessed that you’d have to reject both of them? Because if he was going to be this indifferent, especially when they kept talking about his feelings for you, then surely picking one person would only lead to a rift forming within the group. “All of that said, I’ve also kind of been seeing someone. And I like her, like a lot, like an insufferable amount. 

Minseok saw the opportunity to chime in. “He dreamt about having kids with her last night.” He smirked.

Jongdae looked mortified. “SHUT UP. Um, yeah. So that’s a thing and I just want my friend who I can ask questions to when I’m about to fuck everything up with my possible future wife. God I sound lame, I’m just going to stop talking now.” He sunk down in his chair, put his forehead on the table and banged it against the wood a few times. Minseok and a few others tried really hard not to laugh at him, but they failed miserably.

Chanyeol’s eyes darted around the table as he decided to try and pull focus from Jongdae, who appeared like he was waiting for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. “I uh, yeah I’m not dating anyone per se, but I’m also not looking to be tied down in a relationship right now.” Sehun snorted. “God, I sound like such a fuckboy saying that, but I think you kind of awoke some sort of confidence in me and I just want to play the field.” You heard a muttered “And absolutely no one is surprised you moron.” from Kyungsoo and had to stifle a laugh as Chanyeol continued to speak. 

“I care for you a lot, and I know one of us cares deeply for you so I want to leave things with us as friends. You’re interesting and fun to be around, you’re competitive in silly games and aren’t a sore loser. Hah, I could probably learn a thing or two from you there. Anyway, yeah. That’s me done.” Again someone saying that another member had feelings for you, but not specifying who. So did he mean Baek or did Yixing or Minseok also harbour feelings for you?  You were surprised how at peace you felt with everyone only wanting friendship from you - so far. Kyungsoo admitting he’d fuck you again in a heartbeat had shocked you. That man was usually much more reserved than that. 

Yixing was sitting next to you so he turned to you as he spoke. “Ah my sweet lady. I like you a lot,” He took your hand, his thumb caressing the back of your palm gently. “and honestly if I let myself I could so easily fall for you, but I’m also a workaholic to a fault. I have such high ambitions and drive for myself that I tend to fill up every minute I’m not on a schedule with more work.” He laughed. “If it weren’t for these guys, I’d probably forget to sleep.” He paused and you felt the room somehow grow even quieter. What the fuck was he about to drop on you that everyone else this still? “I’m also headed back to China in a few weeks and, ah this sucks,” He hung his head, clearly upset about having to leave Korea again. “I don’t know when I’ll get to come back this time. The political climate has never been great between our two countries but right now it is really tense.” 

Ah, that explained the feeling in the room. He was leaving and no one knew when or if he would return. You felt sad. You were going to miss him a lot, as were the rest of the guys. He always worked too hard when he was away from the group because no one on his team in China seemed to grasp how hard he would work himself unless they forced him to stop and take a rest. You returned your attention to the man in front of you. He sighed sadly. “So I’m going back and working on music as a soloist, working on some acting projects and would hopefully be back next year for our new album, but it's all kind of up in the air. I couldn’t burden you with any of the long distance crap and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to even try to date and explore any feelings we may have when there would be such difficulty actually seeing each other. It will be a big enough strain on our friendship so whoever does end up dating you has my full support as long as they let me smother you with hugs when I return.” You were confused. His words made it seem like if it weren’t for returning to China, that he would want to date you, but he hadn’t said that he had feelings for you, just that he could see himself having feelings. Was it kind of like Kyungsoo’s situation? You let go of his hand as Chanyeol pulled him backwards into a big hug.

Minseok tapped you on the shoulder to get you to turn towards him. He smiled softly at you then took a deep breath. “Alright then.” He started. You knew he hated airing his business in front of others so regardless of what he was about to say, it was likely stressing him out. “Ah, well you and I probably had the most sex out of the group given the fuck buddy arrangement we’ve had going on. It was mostly stress relief and if we weren’t to have a physical relationship anymore, I don’t think it would drastically change our relationship. I value my movie nights with you over sex so ultimately I don’t want to lose my friendship with you. I trust you implicitly and we’ve both seen each other's ugly sides and haven’t run away from them. I could see circumstances where we pursue a romantic relationship, but like yourself, I haven’t really allowed my feelings to come into play so I’d be content just being your friend.” He glanced towards Baekhyun, who was staring at you. “Like the others, I also cannot ignore Baekhyun’s feelings towards you. I in no way want to come between what could be something beautiful between the two of you.”

Baekhyun doesn’t speak. He hasn’t said a word since you set foot in the dorm and he hasn’t averted his gaze from you the entire time. You could feel it boring into you while everyone spoke. He hadn’t said anything to correct anyone about his feelings for you and it seemed like he had no plans to speak in front of them either. You gave him a few moments to see if he was going to say anything, and noticed the way the others all looked towards him when he chose to remain silent.

You decided to respond to everyone else. Just because Baekhyun was choosing to be silent for the first time in his life didn’t mean it was fair to leave the eight other men in the lurch after they had all just told you how they felt. They needed to know how you were feeling about everything. “Well ok, this makes everything easier. After we spoke last night I did a lot more thinking about our relationships and where I wanted to stand with each of you. I came to the conclusion that your friendship means more to me than anything else and so with that, I was going to say that I think it is for the best that we don’t sleep together anymore. It kind of worked out well that all of you landed on that conclusion as well. Like some of you said, there are circumstances where I could see myself falling for you, but I’m also aware of how that would not be fair to explore, given everything. I love each of you in my own way, and I’m so happy that I get to keep my friends.” You could actually hear the en masse exhale that they let out once they heard you speak. They hadn’t hurt your feelings and everything was going to be ok. “The only thing I’ll ask, actually no - it’s more of a demand at this point - is that you stop being so awkward around me now. Things can go back to how they were, just don’t cross the line into being too inappropriate.”

They all laugh and agree, and just like that the strange tension that had surrounded the dorm disappears. However, one cloud of tension remains, concentrated solely around Baekhyun. He dropped his gaze when you’d spoken and hadn’t lifted it from the floor since. If anyone was worried about Baekhyun’s silence, they didn’t show it. You’d have to take him aside and speak with him soon enough. You’d promised to talk to him tonight. 

You continued to tell everyone how happy you were that they all wanted to remain friends with you, whilst also pressing Junmyeon and Jongdae for details about their dating life. You can practically see the hearts in their eyes when they talk about the new women in their lives and honestly, you couldn’t be happier for them. Poly was a fun idea to put on the table but it was never going to work long term for these guys. Logistically, emotionally or publicly. So it was for the best that none of you decided to venture down that path. 

Once everyone began to disperse you moved towards Baek and asked “Baek, can we speak privately?.” He shrugged but didn’t say no. He didn’t say anything. You walked towards his room and he followed you. You weren’t sure what the shift in him was from earlier this evening. Earlier he seemed like he wanted to date you, but now he wouldn’t even look at you and he looked so dejected and sullen, like he was fighting off tears. “Hey, Baek. Are you ok?” You asked. You wanted to reach out to comfort him but you weren’t sure if that would make matters worse. You had no idea what he was feeling.

He nodded in response, still not uttering a word. 

“Sweetie, you need to speak to me if you want me to believe you.”

“I’m just.” He sighed, “I guess I’m just struggling. Like of course I want to keep you as a friend, not having you in my life would be too hard, but I guess I was really hoping you’d work out your feelings for me as more than that.” He stared at the ceiling as he tried to remain calm but you could tell he was beginning to crack. “I know it wouldn’t be easy dating me, not because of who I am as a person, but because I’m an idol. Like we’d have to be secretive and couldn’t be all couply and go on normal dates like normal couples and maybe you don’t want to date someone who has to hide you. It’s just hard coz I realised all these feelings recently and now I’ve gotta reconcile with them and stuff them away. Which I will do, you are too important to me to not still be friends, but not gonna lie, it’ll be hard for me for a while I think.”

He just wanted to be friends now? But when he’d spoken to you earlier, he said he wanted so much more than that. You were so confused. “Baek, what are you on about?”

His head snapped back to stare at you incredulously. “What am I on about?!” He exclaimed, clearly frustrated and hurt. “You just told all of us that you want to remain friends with us. After I told you about how I felt earlier. So I guess I am not doing great with the rejection ok?”

Oh. Oh. Oh no. He’d misunderstood horribly. You’d responded to the others because they’d spoken. None of what you said at the table was for him because he hadn’t spoken. “No, oh my god no, you’ve misunderstood.” 

He looked so hurt, close to breaking as he responded. “What?”

You tried to remain calm, hoping it would make him calm. “Baek, I want to remain friends with the eight of them. I didn’t want to announce my feelings for you in front of them because you weren’t speaking. I didn’t know if you’d told any of them how you felt or if they’d all just worked it out, but then you didn’t speak. You stared at me the entire time but then you said nothing.” You paused as you took a step closer to him. “Plus my confession should be for your ears only first.”

He staggered backwards, not at all prepared for the words you’d said. “Wait, what are you saying?”

You locked eyes with him and did not break eye contact as you spoke. You needed to be certain that he heard you loud and clear. You’d been too weak to say it earlier, even though you knew how you felt. He deserved to hear it hours ago, but you couldn’t turn back time, so hearing it now would have to do. “Byun Baekhyun, I like you, a lot. Way more than is healthy for me I think. I want you in my life, I want to have you as one of my closest friends but I also want so much more. I want to be able to hold you, flirt with you, do domestic as fuck things with you, date you in whatever capacity we can date. I know that won’t be easy, I’m not naive about the secrecy that dating would require but to me you’re worth it. I want all of you, and I don’t want to share my romance with anyone but you. I’m not against bedroom scenarios that involve guests but I want you and only you as the person I fall even further for.”

“Fuck.” He whispered.

“Yeah. I want to do a lot of that too. You have no idea, but this is supposed to be romantic, not a confession from a horny teenager.” You both laughed. “I don’t know when my feelings changed or if I’d just ignored the way I felt about you for a long time but once I sat down and thought about my options with all of you, and spoke very discreetly with my best friend back home, I realised how sad I was every time I thought of not being able to be anything other than a friend to you. For every other member I was fine with the prospect of just friendship, but with you, it made me inexplicably sad.”

“Are you sure? Because don’t get me wrong, I want this, but it would be stupid of me to not understand the reality of it. Like you said, we won’t be able to go out on dates like a normal couple. We would have to be so careful. So unbelievably careful.” He paused as he took a couple of steps towards you, closing the distance between the two of you. “I think at this point a dating scandal wouldn’t ruin my career nor would it ruin EXO, but I’d be so worried about you.” He reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his hand lightly resting on your cheek afterwards. His eyes shone bright with emotion. He cared so much about you. “People can be so cruel, and I don’t want to see you hurt by their words should anything leak.”

You placed your hand over his, your eyes glistening with emotion. You knew his feelings for you, and he knew how you felt about him yet he still took the time to worry when he could be kissing you. “I don’t know that there is any way to prepare for the hate that would come my way if something got out about us, but I think that unless there was evidence of us in some compromising position it would be easy for SM to deny the rumours. In some ways working for the company and with the group allows for us to be seen together. We’d just have to keep things very work oriented when we aren’t in the safety of our homes.”

Baekhyun let out a shuddering breath. “I’m, fuck, why am I scared?”

You smiled. “Because. We really like each other. Fear is natural when you have something to lose but I think that just means trying to hang on to that special thing, or person in this instance, is worth anything that could be thrown at us. I’d like to think you wouldn’t just abandon me the moment a rumour comes out.”

He shook his head instantly. “I wouldn’t. I promise.”

“Then yeah, I’m all in on trying this thing. You and I. Exclusive. Together.”

His eyes widened at your words, like he still couldn’t quite believe this was happening. All the bravado you’d seen throughout the rest of your relationship with him was gone. The man who stood before you now was Baekhyun stripped bare. He was beautiful, inside and out. You don’t know how you denied yourself these feelings for so long, but if you continued to do so the sheer weight of what you felt might just consume you. “Is this really happening?” He asked.

“It is if you agree to it.” You replied. You stared up at him as you waited for him to accept your feelings and close the gap between you.

He leant in. “I can’t believe you actually like me. Didn’t you once say I was the most annoying person in the world?” He whispered. He was so close you could feel the ghost of the movement of his lips as he spoke.

“Maybe you’ll be less annoying if I get to call you mine.” Did he expect you to kiss him? Was he waiting for you to make the first move like you were waiting for him to do? 

“Oh. No. That’s where you’re wrong.” He smiled against your lips, the sensation of them touching but not kissing you was driving you insane. “I will be even more annoying if I’m yours.” His hand moved from your cheek to the back of your head, holding you in place.

“Still a risk I’m willing to take.” Baekhyun’s fingers tightened against your neck, stretching up into the edges of your hairline. He felt like he was trying to bring his own body as close to yours as possible. 

You waited for him to agree to date you, but he kept seemingly dodging a response. It was beginning to make your anxiety spike. What if he really liked you, admitted his feelings, yet still did not want to date you? Could you handle that? You didn’t think you could, not after laying your heart on the table for him like that. “Baek?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He replied as his free hand snaked around your waist, pressing your bodies against each other. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest as your breath hitched. 

“Please don’t leave me hanging.” You pleaded. You needed to hear him say it now that he knew how you felt. You felt light headed, and like your knees might buckle.

“What?” He sounded confused. The butterflies in your stomach felt like they were caught in a hurricane for how tingly you felt.

“I’ve told you what I want, confessed my feelings to you. B-but, you. You haven’t -” You struggled to get the words out.

He must have realised what you were trying to say as his grip on you tightened. “Fuck! Sorry noona, shit. I want to date the hell out of you.” You could feel how hard he was miling against your mouth as he spoke. “I’m excited for all the silly domestic things we can do. I want to buy couple pyjamas for us. I want to smother you with kisses and affection as much as I can when we are alone. If I don’t, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle my shit in public. I’m scared. I’m so so soooo happy, also a bit horny but that’s nothing new, mostly I’m just waiting to wake up from this dream.” You could feel yourself tremble, all the pent-up anxiety and fear and self-loathing having no other way to exit your body. The physical manifestation of the nerves wasn’t something you could control.

“Well could you hurry up and kiss me then?”

“Gladly.” Baekhyun closed the nonexistent gap between you as he pressed his lips against yours. The kiss started out softly, carefully and full of what could be referred to as love. He was kissing you with all the pent up emotion that he was now allowed to set free. You’d never been kissed like this before. Never been kissed in such a way where you could feel the emotion being poured into you. You felt desperate for him. It felt so good.

Baekhyun pressed harder against you as he kissed away all of your worries and doubts. You could feel how much he wanted you, more than just sexually, as his tongue swept across your lips, requesting entrance. You granted it readily, equally needing to devour him and reciprocate how you felt about him through the kiss. The raging butterflies in your stomach had morphed into tingling sensations that fluttered across every nerve ending. 

He pulled back just enough to cradle your face in his hands as he gazed at you with so much affection that you felt like you might combust. “I feel like I’ve gone crazy,” he chucked. “He didn’t allow you space to speak before jumping in to continue kissing you. 

You continued to kiss and hold each other for a while, trying to make up for lost time as you attempted to express every emotion via kisses. Some soft and loving, others rough and demanding. It’s you who pulled away the next time, as you both tried to catch your respective breaths. “We should tell the others.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yeah, and then can we please go to your apartment? I just want to spend time with you. I don’t care if we just hold each other and make out or if we do more, I just want to be close to you.”

“That sounds perfect to me.” You pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before you grabbed his hand. “Let’s go before we change our minds and they find us in here.” 

The two of you headed back out towards the living area hand in hand. The others all appeared to be caught up in various discussions but they stop once someone notices yours and Baekhyun’s intertwined hands. Baekhyun cleared his throat, unable to keep the smile off his face as he exclaimed. “We’re dating, and I hope all of you can be happy for us because, speaking for myself here, I’m really happy right now. I thought I’d lost her earlier tonight but as usual I misunderstood.” He smiled down at you. “Thank fuck it was a misunderstanding, otherwise all of you would be dealing with me being mopey and heartbroken.” 

One by one the members got up and came forward to embrace the two of you. You were over the moon with the outcome from this evening. You’d secured a new contract, didn’t have to move companies, got to keep some of the best friends you’d ever had and gained a boyfriend. Pretty productive night if you said so yourself. However, you couldn’t help but notice that neither Minseok or Kyungsoo had approached the two of you since Baekhyun’s announcement.

In fact, neither of them were even in the room. Suddenly the lights dimmed and the two missing members entered the room, holding a cake. It wasn’t anyone’s birthday. What was the cake for? As they got closer you heard the other members giggling and grew suspicious. Any of these men giggling was never a good sign. Finally the cake came into view as the two of them stood before you and Baekhyun. “Yah!” Baekhyun laughed as he tried his hardest to sound mad. “Did you fucking plan this?!”

“Dude, you could not have been more obvious in your affections as far as we were concerned. “Kyungsoo deadpanned. “After we all talked last night it became pretty obvious that none of us felt the same way you did, and whilst some of us could see ourselves reaching that point, we weren’t there now. We were always expecting you to confess, and well, noona, you were always closer to Baek than any of us. There was always something brewing under the surface there so we had faith that you’d reciprocate his feelings. So we figured baking a cake for the occasion was a sure bet.” 

“You did have us worried when you didn’t say a single word at the table but I’m glad to see it all worked out. We did change the message on the cake just in case you hadn’t confessed to each other by the time you came back out of the room.” Minseok smirked. You finally diverted your gaze to the cake. And laughed. You laughed so hard that you struggled to breathe.

Hurry up and confess to each other so we can celebrate.

“This was your amendment?!” You managed to splutter in between laughs.

Kyungsoo grinned. “Yeah. The original message said Congratulations on realising your feelings.” 

“I hate all of you, just so you know.” Baekhyun grumbled, though it was not even remotely convincing what with the huge smile on his face.

“You love us.” Minseok said. “And we’re very happy for you.”

“Now eat the damn cake. I baked it with love.” Kyungsoo said as he thrust the cake towards the two of you.

“You baked for us?” You asked as you smiled.

“Of course I did. I’d only let the others bake if I wanted you to be poisoned. I don’t know how he’d manage it but Junmyeon could give you food poisoning even if all the ingredients were in date. What do you take me for, a monster?” He replied, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

***

After the cake had been eaten,you and Baekhyun decided that it was time to take your leave and head down to your apartment for the night.  You made your way around the room to bid each of the members goodnight, and to give each of them a warm hug. You held Yixing extra tight, promising to come have a movie day with him before he had to return to China. You also made him promise to schedule video calls with you so you could keep in touch. He swore that we would and you planned to hold him to that promise.

Minseok walked the two of you to the door. The three of you chatted easily as you and Baekhyun put your shoes on. You were enveloped in a strong embrace as Minseok held you and told Baekhyun to take good care of you because you now had eight friends who would gut him if he hurt you. The weight of his words was diminished when he posed the exact same threat to you. Baekhyun laughed at his protective hyung, cooing at how cute he was for threatening the two of you. 

He didn’t let go of you as he reached out to playfully slap Baekhyun. To his credit, Baekhyun let the two of you have your moment as he watched you both silently. 

You should have known better. Silence and Baekhyun were never a good mix. “So what if I want Minseok to join in every now and again?” He said as though he was talking about the weather.

“What?!” You both spluttered.

Baekhyun shrugged. “Noona, Hyung, you should see your faces.” He giggled. “I’m only half kidding though.”

“Yeah, you are going to have to say more than that dude.” Minseok groaned.

Baekhyun smiled at both of you. “I don’t know about either of you, but if I had to take a wild guess - we all had a better than good time during hyung’s reward. I’m just not opposed to something like that happening again, obviously not a frequent thing, but yeah. I’m sure you are more than capable of taking charge in the bedroom noona but it was really fucking hot watching both of you and being told what to do. So uh, yeah, just saying I’m happy to leave that door open for a future session.”

“Baek, you can’t just say things like that as though it's normal conversation.” You replied.

“What made you decide to bring that up now of all times?” Minseok asked as you spoke.

“To answer noona - Is that a no to my idea then? Coz like, that’s also fine. To answer hyung - I was reminded of it when the two of you were hugging.”

Minseok shook his head at the younger man. “You’re fucking weird dude.” 

“You like it.” Baekhyun quipped.

“I don’t dislike it.” He agreed. “Look, I’m down as long as it doesn’t become weird. It was fun, it was deeply satisfying and it was hot, but not something I’d be willing to ruin our friendships over.” 

You finally found some words, not quite believing where the night had taken you. “I feel the same. So uh, I guess at such a time when we want to involve a third, we know who to call…”

“This cannot be my life.” Minseok shook his head in disbelief and pointed towards the door. “Can you two leave already so I don’t get sprung with any more headache inducing conversation topics?”

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you through the door. “Let’s go angel.”

You were content, more than content as you stepped across the threshold with Baekhyun, who was now your boyfriend, you supposed. You’d have to discuss labels later. You wanted to spend the entire night in his arms, and like him you did not care if that was while you watched movies, played games, talked, or expressed your feelings for each other in a much more physical manner. All you knew was you felt right, you felt loved and cherished and you felt like you were in a state of utter bliss. 

A/N: Thank you if you've stuck with me over the course of the past 7 years. I simply don't have the words to express my gratitude to everyone who made it to this point of my lil fic. Well it was supposed to be little. It was supposed to be 9 chapter of pwp and only take me a couple of months to write but then all of this happened. I grew as a writer through this fic and explored different aspects of what I could write. I'm proud of this fic and glad that it didn't become another one of those unfinished fics on the internet.

It would mean the world to me if you could leave a comment. I love you all.

[yezuri]

Fake love, real feelings > capa para uso pessoal

📅 05/06/24

Capinha dos dias dos namorados

Inspiração em @trancyzp, desculpa meu amor eu esqueci de colocar na capa, mas logo eu mudo aqui com os créditos tá 🥺❤️‍🩹

Serase eu saí do ferrugem? Até que eu gostei dessa 🤔✨