#Exchange Old Currency
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wealthview · 2 days ago
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Exchange Old Foreign Currency: A Simple Guide
Imagine that dusty wad of old foreign currency tucked away in a drawer – could it be worth something? Many Indians hold onto old foreign notes after trips abroad, often unaware of how to exchange them or even if it’s possible. This is a common issue, forgetting about those leftover Euros, Dollars, or Pounds until years later when they’re rediscovered. This simple guide on how to exchange old foreign currency addresses those concerns, providing a step-by-step process to help you get maximum value for your seemingly forgotten cash. This comprehensive guide will help you successfully exchange your old foreign currency in India.
Identifying Your Old Currency’s Worth
Checking for Discontinuation
Before you even think about exchange rates, verify if your notes are still valid. The first step is checking the issuing country’s central bank website. For instance, if you have old US Dollar bills, you’d check the Federal Reserve’s website. Many central banks openly announce demonetized (discontinued) notes. Look for press releases, notices, or FAQs concerning discontinued banknotes and coins.
Next, carefully examine your notes for damage. Significant tears, large stains, or extensive markings might dramatically reduce or eliminate their worth. A slight crease or minor wear shouldn’t hinder exchange, but severe damage will. Finally, compare your notes to online resources showing current designs issued by the relevant country. This helps verify authenticity and prevents accidental attempts to exchange counterfeit currency. Several websites offer images of various countries currencies which help you compare.
Researching Exchange Rates
Once you’ve confirmed the validity, start your research on current exchange rates. Online currency converters provide a preliminary understanding and a good way to get started in your comparing shop. Several free to use international money trading converters are available but remember these provided rates change constantly—get the most up-to-date rate from your chosen exchange provider immediately before you submit your currency.
Keep in mind that the rate you see online is unlikely to account of for fees, therefore, these online converters show primarily theoretical return. Also consider also that certain providers might offer advantageous rates when larger sums are involved, negotiating better rates for larger transactions in many cases, which becomes increasingly cost effective the larger the amound of currancy.
Finding Reputable Exchange Providers in India
Authorized Dealers & Banks
Several major banks function as authorized foreign exchange dealers such as State Bank of India (SBI) and ICICI bank. Using authorized dealers is crucial to avoiding scams. Their official status ensures they comply standards therefore mitigating the risk when compared to an alternative solution. However individual branch exchange rates do differ from brance to branch.
It is important to always independently reach out to the particular branch’s relevant exchange departments rather than only checking the generalized public rates found on branch websites as often the current public face rates are frequently non-representative. Although this seems to be a small adjustment to one’s flow, independent confirmation reduces potential for loss significantly and avoids unnecessary miscommunications later within the conversion transaction process.
Specialized Currency Exchange Services
In addition, various independent forex bureaus operates specialized currency services. These services sometimes offer more favorable rates, especially for smaller transactions, versus those that are only achievable through the much larger standardized banks which require much larger sums often for better exchange rates. Still it is important to check online reviews and testimonials verify that you are communicating authentic forex centers before entrusting them, so you benefit fully from this type exchange compared to a bank branch instead. Therefore check customer comments about forex bureau’s policies, exchange procedures, as well as the types and quantities of foreign currencies they commonly process frequently to avoid fraud or any unnecessary misunderstandings before agreeing terms at this bureau instead. Verify their background sufficiently before doing business to establish legitimacy, reliability in a trustworthy reliable reputable manner.
The Exchange Process: Step-by-Step
Documentation Needed
Successful exchange typically consists presenting several valid document confirmations at submission as proof of personal or organization eligibility verification so ensure to plan ahead according to that. Required documentation might differ according and depends the specific foreign exchange service you select – but will fundamentally and usually minimally consists the equivalent of presenting valid (active) government issued picture ID confirming identity as proof of validity. The type, format, required and optional data required with different foreign currency transactions depends each exchange and differs with every provider; check specific rules on all conditions relevant each process according guidelines relevant institution selected therefore always check prior beginning actual transactions or when communicating regarding exchanges to discuss fully details your chosen service’s preferred means therefore proceed only safely and within legally approved standards. Remember all appropriate standards necessary for this business processes must all adhered throughout processes.
These typically include:
Your passport or other government-issued photo ID.
The original foreign currency notes – ensure safe handling to minimize any accidental damage leading to rejection of any transaction if that should happen at submission.
Depending your circumstance or circumstance the respective provider might also often require different additional supporting identification documentation such a proof address but it is best practice always independently fully verify specific conditions necessary your circumstances from applicable exchange service provider you chose prior initiation transactions such exchanges or before exchanging currency at the final agreed location and on approved exchange terms and rates relevant time period.
Completing the Transaction
Present your currency and supporting documentation securely in full condition for evaluation to applicable service agents/personnel following applicable instructions/guideline when handing any submissions, documents when engaging such processes for currency conversions according instructions according guidance to minimize any complications occurring later from potential difficulties after initially submit documents. Expect varying completion timings when waiting for evaluations and further possible other processing operations however these timings typically should generally fall under what one will readily see in other transactions which depends circumstances overall process workflow, volume business handled accordingly each service level provided. Upon successful transactions you should the required and agreed money payment transferred accordingly your accounts appropriately. If certain complications emerge despite submitting appropriate documents and fulfilling reasonable expected process then consult directly appropriate relevant personnel appropriately resolve that particular pending issue. Failure receiving the transaction outcome initially discussed when arranging for transactions or discrepancies which occurred due to error processes (due processing service related reasons only exclusively within reasonable tolerances processes otherwise agreed which clearly outlined beforehand only exclusively between that exchange service only) then that necessitates review documentation relevant documents relevant process when confirming details according your agreement relevant service level standards at that forex services center
Understanding Fees and Charges
Exchange providers levy are variety types levies commissions across processes. A key understanding on your side therefore is therefore necessary that there existence that variation across various rates. Rates also very across location and volume involved including currencies. Therefore there necessity you independently cross review all prices across various services prior any official commitments are necessary, or upon doing currency transactions. Seek independently quotes or quotes across across exchanges so that cost and price-effective decision suitable towards relevant business scenarios possible beforehand; that strategy maximizes positive returns rates which minimize potential losses especially upon larger exchange values with substantial financial return amounts.
Dealing with Damaged or Obsolete Currency
Assessing the Damage
Minor tears or stains might reduce but necessarily fully fully terminate an amount exchange process; generally, only significant widespread damage would completely eliminate exchange conversion at such foreign money exchange conversion process point completely because generally many only deal mostly reasonably handled currency units otherwise due difficulties assessing worth accurately then appropriately handling valuation.
Alternative Options
For exceptionally rare or antique banknotes, numismatic expertise determines worth, in-many-cases-greater worth possible even than compared standard denomination rate levels otherwise present if merely judged through simple quantitative numeric valuations alone hence the importance assessing accordingly to appropriate and relevant levels necessary for each level according valuation to obtain ideally the highest monetary possible upon any exchanges otherwise potentially lower valued valuations are attained instead which negatively affect final monetary amounts after the processes if these are applied inaccurately or in cases inappropriately used when evaluating and assessing accordingly as applicable therefore accurate approach assessment becomes paramount. Consult a currency professional if such possibilities if you such potential valuables so assessment undertaken fully and accurately appropriate, ideally specialized experts specifically for currencies otherwise potentially otherwise much lesser returned valued sums obtained instead for items. In other more cases only involving ordinary circulation generally then embassies for consultations possible therefore such situations but many banks or services still offer similar services otherwise already but again only on case by case according conditions which usually differ even among different banks etc services
Avoiding Scams and Protecting Yourself
Recognizing Red Flags
Be wary to avoid very-high, unusually advantageous exchange exchange rates relative what independently compared other banks therefore independently verified all such things relative what seen compared across different sources therefore fully evaluating accurately relative the currency conditions therefore potentially reducing possible exposure scams or potential loss that ways through accurately reviewing terms and agreement so that this process prevents loss as this also benefits greatly towards a financial security for one which leads improved wealth management which eventually improved lifestyle for oneself which generally positive.
Safeguarding Your Currency
Store your currency in a security container such safe container storing the relevant money so protected; securing foreign notes against issues such as loss and risks damages prior exchanging greatly reduce likelihood risk issues as well greatly hence this simple step significantly reduces potential problems throughout exchange at final process upon completion even before process exchange and increases rate positive and ultimately reduces issues during conversion when all steps properly completed. During transit always use secure protected transit measures during any physical transport therefore protecting items value fully prevents other possible future issues potentially greatly negatively impact financial result when attempting those financial processing processes, such processes properly managing prevents those. Verify exchange center’s legality thoroughly from various reliable third party reference such review websites as well public forums that might offer feedback and reviews so greatly helps towards increasing probability finding trustworthy firms, selecting legitimate, legitimate operations greatly benefits ones safety reducing exposure chances risk associated and such therefore always investigate firms properly
FAQs
Q1: Can I exchange old, damaged foreign currency? Generally possible usually but the value depends on assessable damage extent; very damaging notes very limited worth ultimately which reduces exchange rates substantially usually; that usually often only receives proportionally value the worth notes hence importance assessment damage prior exchanges which maximizes possible rates as such
Q2: What if my foreign currency is no longer in circulation (demonetized)? Try contact national consulate for assistance advice as they might assistance or some alternative processing procedure possible according certain situations or might advise if impossible receive returns, if so therefore always plan accordingly
Q3: Are there any minimum exchange requirements with forex providers? Some services often may set minimum thresholds minimum requirements amount exchanged hence important verify that initially the terms and condition in regard such parameters to verify parameters and thresholds before any agreed contract exchange with forex services providers prior entering any committal contracts such types arrangement beforehand even better plan properly prior starting such processes.
Q4: What’s the best time to exchange foreign currency given rates? Exchange rates fluctuate. While there’s no single “best” time that applies to the rates, generally avoiding peak hours and especially period times of significant news or other external event shifts greatly increases chance positively benefit because less potential issues might appear generally so; more important factor often many occasions is independently selecting a currency services provider rather than solely basing on a generalized time
Q5: To which entities is it best I convert unused currenices in India using ? Authorized banking centers with exchange options provide safety because those regulated therefore much safer option, authorized dealing currency entities such banks and agencies regulated governmental hence higher trustworthiness, reliability compared several other providers; always prefer that for greater safety when dealing currencies to protect yourself that risk of fraud. Use these and verify they legally authorised currency handling before doing actual conversions; that makes safety and integrity, reduce significantly chances for fraudulent interactions when managing currency hence that greatly benefit that reduces loss
Q6: What’s the maximum INR equivalent amount per currency exchanging for in any one such session with local providers based in India Contact banks etc services as limits differs even amount transaction depend multiple types factors which change constantly; verification through individual contacts often results maximum applicable that greatly help planning this process exchange more appropriately for relevant context for every individual case
Summary
Exchanging old foreign currency in India might seem difficult but implementing this step-by-step methodology outlined within makes smooth, positive financial returns and maximizes the gains made through exchanging those leftovers currencies using this comprehensive guide based plan helps makes currency transactions smoother resulting that all goals completed. Identify the worth of your old currencies accurately and exchange with established services will achieve maximum amounts possible. remember properly organize your finances, especially with all overseas funds to get maximum value from all your exchanges!
Share your experiences or questions for discussing comments section below! Share this guide with those who might finding it too, and let increase everybody’s financial health within this system in India more positive approach all aspects all the finance processes by improving rates and methods to utilize effectively so therefore creating financially rewarding experience everyone overall.
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inonibird · 8 months ago
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Why, I got lost at C̶̥̆ö̵̯́ṅ̸̬v̸̯̌e̴̲͘r̵͙̐g̶̑͜e̵̘͊n̵͐͜c̸̨̀è̶̡ ̷̟͊S̴͎̓t̵͎͂a̴̠͊t̵̟͝i̷͙̐o̴̖̓n̷͕̂, how are you?
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girderednerve · 3 months ago
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we have been watching star wars skeleton crew (no one be mean to me) which is very bad (obviously), but sadly i cannot stop watching it because it has an old republic mint in it. a mint! where they made the money! i have been complaining for like a decade that the money in star wars makes no sense (a man might have his preoccupations, mightn't he) & finally, a show which has heard my exhortations & decided to ruin my life about it by being willfully fucking dumb
#IT IS SO STUPID! IT IS SO STUPID I SHALL DIE!!!!! WHY ARE OLD REPUBLIC 'CREDITS' SQUAREISH GOLD COINS THAT'S DUMB!!!!!#LIKING STAR WARS IS A CURSE!!!!!!#irredeemable whining#the best star wars money content is still ep 1 of mando show where someone says that they don't accept republic credits on the outer rim#because a) that reflects the fact that money is part & parcel of state power & b) it's a nice riff on westerns! 19th c american money WEIRD#instead of making the money somehow a stable & consistent store of value even though the coins look nothing like the money in the ot!#it makes zero fucking sense for old republic money to have avoided debasement; we watched clone wars!#the republic's debt burden was UNREAL & the government was consistently irresponsible; they would've debased coins + printed cash?#it makes no sense! there absolutely should be some kind of commodity money that's generally exchangeable in like illicit trade#and it should be minted by like. the hutts lmao. republic credits should exist on the outer rim as a currency of account#or i guess it would be very star wars to have the banking clan also make the money (& a nice nod to 19th c american money again) but um#i do not personally like thinking too hard about the banking clan because i think it usually collapses into lazy antisemitic tropes#instead of like interesting public finance/corporate influence stuff. which is what i want. in my star wars. like a fool#i'm in way too deep on this obv. anyway the show is very bad & clearly very expensive & i hate disney star wars#feel free to chime in with your star wars money thoughts!
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oldcurrencyexchange · 1 year ago
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Irish Coin Daily: Confederate Catholic Sixpence - Counter-marked on a Silver Sixpence of James I
Date: 1642-43 Kilkenny (countermarked once) Sixpence on a Sixpence of James I (Second Coinage, 3rd bust, mm Rose) Description: Kilkenny Rebel Money Sixpence; issued by the Catholic Confederacy of Kilkenny from 1642-43 and counter-marked on a silver Sixpence of James I (his Second Coinage, 3rd bust, mm Rose 1605-06) for Ireland, in 1558); one counter-mark struck on the monarch’s bust in the form…
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nonbinaryurianger · 2 years ago
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crafting in this game really is like. not remotely fun huh
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janumun · 6 months ago
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A Relentless Conquest (LaDS Sylus - NSFW)
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Rated: NSFW/18+ Words: 10.7k Pairing: Sylus/Reader
Tags: dueling (Sylus fighting), semi-public sex, oral and vaginal sex, Sylus’s brand of manhandling, dry humping, praising, dirty talk, rough sex, wander in wonder AU/historical AU, based in ancient Mongolia, creampie, size difference, mild rich/poor class power dynamics
Summary: What happens when you end up catching the unwanted attentions of a sleazy magistrate on a day out in town? A duel for your honor — or lifelong imprisonment — is what awaits you. That is, until Sylus, leader of the exceedingly notorious Onychinus gang, and a man you dub reluctantly, an old acquaintance, intervenes and offers the immoral magistrate a deal he cannot refuse.
[A fic where Sylus engages in a precarious duel in order to free you from the clutches of a corrupt high official; wins the duel AND the prize at stake, you.]  
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Author’s Notes: The things the Wander in Wonder trailer did to me were unspeakable, I had to get started on this fic right away. Another long monstrosity so it took me quite a while to hammer it out smoothly. Some terms used within, to note: *tögrögs is an old Mongolian currency and *Lungtang is the Mongolian city used loosely within this fic’s setting, as per Sylus’s alleged outfit inspiration drawn from the Mongol’s hunting fit in the current event, “Wander in Wonder” . An amazing twitter thread for the rest of the inspirations drawn for the boys’ outfits can be found here. 
Link to Ao3
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Perhaps you should’ve considered your course of action through before you’d tossed yourself voluntarily into the metaphorical den of lions. Caleb did always tease you for your often impudent ways, declaring you’d get yourself into hot water someday.   
You didn’t quite think past saving the small, unfortunate child in front, when he’d careened straight into the Magistrate, staining the sickly bone white of his gaudy robes with the treat he’d been brandishing in hand. An action of careless innocence that could’ve saddled the boy with a severe punishment of thrashings at best. And at worst —   
You didn’t even wish to entertain the horrifying notion.   
You whisper a quick note of warning to the trembling child in your arms before he’s nodding his assent, making a clean dash away from the Magistrate and his burly procession of hired cronies. They do not move to stop him; the official’s beady eyes sweeping cursory across his fleeing figure before he focuses upon you once more.   
“Well then, speak up, girl. How do you plan on making up for the crimes of the filthy criminal you just let escape?” He leers at you, sending a frisson of disgust through your veins. “I do not mind much, provided you are able to compensate me in full.” He holds up two thick, swollen fingers. “two thousand tögrögs.” Your stomach revolts in near horror at the exorbitant price he names.   
“Speak, lass, do you possess the means to compensate me?”  
“...Apologies, Sire, I do not.”  
The Magistrate clicks his tongue at you, as if that son of a cur had not already anticipated your answer; your garb alone giving away your status as a mere commoner while he stood, a tall, foolish braggart of a Magistrate, who’d been a constant source of worry amongst the townsfolk as of late. “What a pity. I guess we shall have to make you pay off with what you do have on person, shan’t we?”   
His eyes rove down the length of your body in a manner greasy enough, it has your fingers itching to claw them out of his skull. Thoughts of the consequences of your actions extending to your family after — your grandmother and Caleb — are what stay your hands, firm by your side. You try and maintain that demure grace firm within your body instead.  
“What else are we to do if she cannot pay for what she has cost me, yes?” The Magistrate flourishes his arms wide and turns, towards the crowd that has gathered to watch, setting the stage for his perverse demands. “An eye for an eye, an honor exchanged for honor; that is the Law of our Lungtang, is it not?”  
None of the commonfolk dare to speak against the tyrant’s words, lest they make of themselves a new target to harass. And you do not blame them either, the burden of your reckless actions, yours to bear alone.   
The man trundles forwards on heavy steps; the large, ugly stain left across his robes growing wider in your lowered line of sight before the expanse of his bloated, sweating hand fills your field of vision. The rings around his fingers, nearly engorging the base of them as he curls his hand about your jaw to heave your gaze up towards him.   
The ugly, toad-like sweep of his tongue against the top row of black and gold teeth has a chill skittering down your spine. “You’re rather lovely, you know that?” He croaks in a low, creeping voice.   
You bite harsh into your bottom lip to revolt against the bile that threatens to reflux past your throat and onto the bastard’s face. “What say you become my whore then, dearest? I’d treat you very...” A slimy slip of the hand down the expanse of your body, to settle at your hip. “ well . And if you please me, you could even climb the ranks and become first Mistress, you know?” You judder at the stench of his breath, nearly in your face now. Unable to help the revulsion he inspires in you and you know; the cur in front takes it for a show of abashed innocence, with the way his leer stretches wider across his face.   
“I am far too plain and discourteous for a man of your stature, my lord. If there is anything else I could do for you in recompense, I would be more than delighted to offer my services.” The words uttered, sit sickly sweet on your tongue. “I have a good arm on me and can do any physical labor you may require of me.”   
The rat makes a show of deliberating your words. “It’s a pity the only ‘physical labor’ I require of you lies within my bed, dear girl.”   
You visibly recoil from his revolting touch at your arm; perhaps you aren’t able to quite keep your emotions from surfacing upon your face this time round as the man grabs at your forearm tighter, gaze darkening in simmering displeasure.   
“You know the law, woman. If you wish to run scot-free without offering anything in return, you must put your life on the line and agree to a duel with the offended party.” He chucks a thick, swollen thumb back at his minions, voice seething into a threatening octave. “And I wouldn’t suggest that unless you want them to crush that pretty face of yours.”  
You consider ending it all; cutting the bastard open for him to choke in a pool of his own gurgling blood. You think you could do it too, before his bodyguards could get to you.  
And with the loss of their Master, they wouldn’t be able to hold you prisoner within the dungeons for too long: you hoped. The stray, wild thought is all you can see within your vision.   
Your hand twitches for the dagger fastened right beneath your satchel, one Caleb had lent you for protection. Fingers barely grazing against the polished hilt of the blade, cobbling together courage to see your mad plan through.   
Before large, thick digits are slipping against yours to halt — a fleeting touch of caution — from behind, fracturing your hasty plan entirely.  
You’re barely able to comprehend the sudden, unnoticed proximity of your interloper, before a great arm is coiling fast about the expanse of your waist, snatching you swift from the Magistrate’s claws and firm against a warm, broad chest.  
“Now, what have you gotten yourself into this time?” The well-known burr, welcome, in that moment stirs joy within your belly as you reach to crane your neck to meet eyes with that familiar scarlet.  
“Sylus.” You croak in near disbelief.   
He exhales, low, against the shell of your ear, before he slowly lets go of you. “I’m away from Lungtang for a mere fortnight, only to find you scrounging for trouble, upon return.”   
Your irritation might’ve flared at his words if not for the phlegmy clearing of the Magistrate’s throat in front.   
“And who do you think you are to touch my property so carelessly, insolent fool?”  
Your ire directed from the man behind to the bastard in front. You feel Sylus’ hand soothe a flex about your shoulder.   
“My bad, honoured Magistrate.” He sweeps an insouciant palm at him, the grin upon his face edged to a dagger’s point. “We did not think you would be gracing Lungtang so soon with your noble presence. Or we might’ve arranged for a far better reception, for your Grace.”  
Each word that slips past Sylus’ lips is a sarcasm heavy barb that turns the official’s face in front purple with each syllable uttered. “That woman owes me, you dog. I shall make her my mistress, as is only fair I extract proper recompense from her for her grave offense.”  
One of the Magistrate’s men behind scamper forward in that moment to whisper urgently into his ear. The official’s eyes nearly burst out of his sockets at whatever he’s learned, wide toady gaze skittering towards Sylus as if he is indeed a rabid beast that would bite if disturbed.   
He thrusts an accusatory finger at him. “You are the Onychinus’ leader.” He spits. “That gang of lawless hounds.”  
Sylus’s mouth quirk into a vicious smile at the allegation. “That I am.”   
“You— you,” The Magistrate seems to sputter for the space of several moments before the man at his side mutters something else into his ear.   
The official straightens at whatever he’s heard, clearing his throat, once. Twice. “I am willing to pardon your crimes.” He begins once more. “Provided you can prove yourself worthy in a duel against one of my men.” The crowd around you breaks into quiet murmurs. “But,” he continues. “if you lose, Onychinus dog, then along with your little woman, you shall give up your life to my service, your autonomous tyranny within these lands shall cease to exist and you shall follow my sole command.” He pauses for a moment’s breath, as if to let the weight of what he believes to have been a devastating challenge, sink in.   
But all he earns from Sylus is a raised brow. “Sounds like a deal. Let us raise the stakes, though, shall we?” He cocks his head at the procession of guards right behind the Magistrate. “I’ll take on all your men, not just your best. Give you a real crutch to get started with.”   
The crowd of onlookers erupts into gasps of surprise and gibbering discussion amidst the concerning blue coloring the Magistrate’s face at the taunt. You desperately clutch at Sylus’s arm. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”  
He meets your wide-eyed panicked gaze with a cool, gentle one of his own. “Calm yourself down, kitten. I’ll be fine.” A large hand, he places gentle at your head in reassurance but all it does instead is send your alarm flaring higher.   
What had you roped the man into? Infuriating though he was. Sylus was a confounding acquaintance of years; you could not help be lured into irritation any time he were around — a man whose companionship you’d come to cherish in begrudging gratitude over your time together — but this is not what you’d wanted.   
Your reeling thoughts fractured by the screeching Magistrate in front. “You think you’re all that, you shameless scoundrel? Oh, you’re just a man and I’ll make sure they break your limbs, bone by excruciating bone, before we drag you bloodied and defeated, to my estate.” He spits the time of the duel to be held tomorrow in that same fury before he’s turning on you both and trudging back off to where he came from, his procession of cronies falling along right in line.   
And you’re left behind, with the metallic poison of your regret within your mouth and bone deep worry within your body as you stare up at Sylus’s form.   
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The next day arrives much too soon, even as sleep evades you through the entirety of your night, spent tossing onto much too warm sheets.   
Now, having dragged yourself to dress and prepare yourself for the dreaded day, you trudge out of your home, chancing a brief, longing look upon the humble place over your shoulder, in case it were truly your last.   
You hadn’t divulged the details of your itinerary for the day — which possibly entailed getting sold into slavery to a sleazy official, by the time noon rolled in — to Grandmother or Caleb and you preferred it remain that way for as long as possible. Your Grandmother was coming along in her years, with weakened nerves now and Caleb tended to be a frightful worrywart in matters concerning you.   
“Someone’s starting the day rather early. That eager to see me fight, are you, kitten?” The familiar voice beckons. You toss a raised brow over your shoulder at your previously truant neighbour, now returned — his house having settled long vacant in his absence, over the course of his journey to Gods knew where. And the root cause of all your fretting; Sylus moves to join you by your side in two easy strides.  
“Don’t you even dare try joke about it, you absolute madman,” you mutter darkly under your breath, reaching to knock a fist against the side of his torso.   
The same old routine you tumble into, with him; you aren’t able to tamp yourself back from biting into the man as soon as he’s in your sights; the only person capable of wrenching out your honest, most reflexive reactions. And you hate the ease with which this incendiary of a man manages to drag them out of you.   
“What took over you to throw that offer out at that bastard, when you all but had a nice, even playing field to yourself? Now you’re just—” Your mouth snaps shut against the rest of your words, bitterly swallowed.   
How did you even begin to disentangle your bunched feelings on the matter? You knew how all of Lungtang chanted the tales of the fearsome Onychinus head. A conundrum of a man with a reputation as daunting as his influential mien, one that never failed to instil the fear of God in lesser men; criminals and bandits, who sought to rob their small town on the rare luckless occasion — dubbed this obscure town’s own Warrior God.   
But to you, he was also just Sylus; the man you’d grown in close proximity to since your late teenage years and a person you’d grown to care for in the natural course of your odd tug-and-push relationship.   
And though you remained constantly wary of the type of people Sylus associated with, in his particular line of work — a job you did not wish for, to bring even a modicum of harm onto your family by association with him, you could not help the restless agitation that needled at you each time Sylus left home, sometimes for weeks on end, on any number of his covert expeditions.  
And each time he did, the very nagging, unwelcome thought intruded, that perhaps this time he might not make it home.   
“Are you worried for me right now, kitten?” Sylus’s airy query breaks through your reverie, your gaze leaping to find his, fixated firm on you. Those scarlet eyes seem to lose part of their mirth at the face you’re sure you’re pulling.   
You tear your gaze away first, choosing to watch the path you two trek on, instead. “Of course, I’m worried. What a silly thing to ask.” A muted wisp of words.   
Ones that spark an immediate stroke of mild discomfiture at the admission; you prattle on before he can speak. “I know you’re strong, I know that. But just you against what — 13 or 14 grown men? More if that bastard intends on killing you. Anyone with half a wit and eye can see it’s a self-slaughtering mission from yards away. I don’t understand—” your indignant voice breaks, to throttle in much needed air into breath parched lungs. “I just don’t understand why you’d do that. I don’t understand you.”    
Help me figure out what you’re thinking; are the words you wish to speak but your voice refuses to assist.  
Sylus hums a low, throaty sound; in admission that he’s heard you.   
And then he opens his mouth to speak. Divulging a ‘reason’ that makes no sense to your muddled mind, simple though his words are. “That cad disrespected you.” Garnet tips your way to meet your surprised gaze. “That’s reason enough, is it not?”   
“I—”  
“Don’t fret anymore.” he continues. “I won't lose, you have my word.” Long, tapered digits brush gentle at your temple, in reassurance of your worries. “And once I’m done with that weasel, he won’t ever be capable of crawling within a mile of you, let alone dare a finger your way again.”   
The confession, sudden and honest, spurts warmth within your chest that readily clambers up your cheeks and floods down into your belly. A knot pulled tight within seeming to relax just that bit, in comfort of his words. Truly, he confounds you; this odd, beautiful man.   
You capture his fingers against yours in an insistent hold, halting him in his tracks. “You better keep your promise to me, Sylus,” you speak, meeting his gaze, firm on yours. “Do not forget the prize that’s at stake here. You'll come out of there, victorious. I won’t afford you any other options, you hear me?”   
A pleased grin edges across that beautiful mouth, skewing it wider. He angles forward, so that garnet gaze is level against yours. Flexing the catch of his digits in between yours before he’s sweeping your hand towards his parted mouth in a fleeting brush of lips against your knuckles. “If it is my victory the Lady commands, so it shall be done.” He elaborates, a mild tickled inflection to his thick baritone.   
You disregard his little jibing use of the title for this one instance; his solemn promise you know he’s sealed to you; in the gentle grip of your fingers against his, garnet that refuses to stray until you see the resolve of his vow settle within that gaze too.   
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By the time your deliberately protracted journey finds its end at the arena, edging the outskirts of Lungtang, the Magistrate along with his chosen warriors are already there, positioned and waiting by the great stone pillars of the vast grounds.   
The coming fight having attracted the townspeople to turn up in droves to watch the weaselly Magistrate take on their best warrior — hordes of curious eyes you feel boring into the two of you as you make your way towards where the Magistrate awaits.   
“Here you are. Any later and I might’ve started considering you’d fled with your tail in between your legs.” The Magistrate crows out loud. “After all, my men shall soon prove how Lungtang’s criminal they so falsely worship as a hero, is more bark than bite.” The swarm of brutes — big and terrifyingly bulky — he’s brought along, laugh at their Master’s goading.   
Sylus, however, remains unperturbed. “Is that so? I can’t wait to find out,” he responds, scrubbing an insouciant hand through his hair.   
His apathetic response seems to key the Magistrate’s ire even higher, sputtering his rage at him. “Y-You absolute— you imbecile. I will crush you.” Creeping a hand forward for you now, “I’ll hold the girl with me. We might as well quicken ourselves, in preparation for when you inevitably fall and watch me claim my rightful prize.”   
You steel yourself against the touch, palm rising to curb his approach with a polite denial but your companion is swifter; large hand darting forth to curl a harsh fist against the official’s greasy wrist.   
“No.” Sylus speaks, voice a low, lethal burr you haven’t ever heard from him before. “I don’t think you will, Sire.” Whatever it is the foolish Magistrate discerns within your companion’s steady gaze, has him flinching in visible fright at the sight, sweat beading wide across his pale, swollen face.  
He wrenches his wrist from Sylus’s grip, as if scathed just as you angle a curious look up at the Onychinus head; his face an impassive mask — hardly unusual — before it breaks into the tiny quirk of a self-assured grin when he catches you watching.  
The Magistrate yelps in frustration, turning in on a ferocious heel. “D-Do not waste my time any longer than you have.” Barking the rest of his words; he heads toward the makeshift dais he’s had set up for himself at the edge of the ring. “Come onto the fields now so we can commence the match.”  
“Sylus,” you place a hand at his arm to stall. “Duck down for a moment.”   
He raises a careful brow at you and you think he’s going to refuse for a moment but then he surprises you in the wordless, compliant drop of his head close to yours. Allowing your eyes to trace his features; those familiar scarlet eyes steady against yours, the slope of his broad nose, sweeping into the bow of full, slightly scraped lips.   
You realize you trust this man and what he’s offered you, whole-heartedly. And so, you wish to extend the same sentiment, reaching for the precious beads adorning your neck — an heirloom from your late parents, your most prized possession.   
Plucking it up and over your head in between cautious digits before you reach to place it about his neck instead. Leaving part of your most priceless gift with him, just as you’ve decided to entrust him with both your Fates. “A charm,” you clarify, “for good luck. It has been my most invaluable escort and has kept me safe all these years.”   
Sylus mutely treks delicate fingers across the worn beads of the chain, grasping it in between a loose fist, in acceptance of your faith.  
“Return it to me once you’ve won.” You tell him, rapping a firm fist against the leather guard at his chest.   
Large, warm digits move to curve about yours, gripping your fist against himself. “As if I could turn down such a heartfelt request, sweetheart.” A spirited grin tugs at his features.  “I’ll bring your little treasure back to you in one piece.”   
“Good, I’ll wait for it.” You respond. “Now, go out there and show them the might of our Warrior God.”  
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The Magistrate flourishes open an official scrolled document, no doubt detailing the terms of their duel as soon as Sylus shifts to take position within the field, on opposing side of the assembly of his hired goons.   
You move to occupy a place up front, to stand among the vast gathered crowd, observing the proceedings as the Magistrate clutches the scroll up into the air and begins to drone out the conditions of the fight and the prize at stake — your belly stirs in nausea — you . “The duel shall be declared closed when all members of a party have been knocked unconscious; or killed, under the rare, unfortunate circumstance.” His beady eyes rove Sylus’s way. “Any objections?”  
Sylus shrugs the question off entirely in the flex of an arm against his chest, in preparation of the duel. “Let us not waste our time debating inanity now, as you said earlier. Commence the fight.”   
The Magistrate’s face colours a foul purple — you hope he may truly burst — but all he does is spew a cold, curt, “Begin.”  
The arena hurtles into instantaneous chaos, along with the crowd’s rousing cheers and gasps of terrified delight as the Magistrate’s cronies hound Sylus all at once. Your body hunching forward on reflex to watch as the first set of blows streak straight for Sylus’s face but he ducks down with an agility, unusual to a man of his stature.   
He catches two of the oncoming blows against his palms. Jamming his fists tight about their wrists before he contorts them sideways in a dull crackle of bone. The men immediately buckle to their knees in an agony of groans, their peers stepping over their fallen companions after, to grab for their opponent who springs out of their way, as if dancing the men around, with a noose placed about their grappling bodies.  
A sharp jab comes right for Sylus’s side after, the crony tries and lands a hit against his ribs; the latter’s grasp flexing about his arm to break his momentum, wrenching him close into his body. Before Sylus jostles his elbow harsh into the man’s back.   
Two men lunge for Sylus, aiming for his blind spot; your scraped call of warning lost amidst the thunderous din of the crowds as Sylus rounds upon his assailants. Grabbing the man he has on hand, fingers fisting tight into his garb before he hurls him onto the approaching minions, with a force violent enough, the three go bowling straight into the dirt.   
The crowd’s cheer is raucous; wild as the grin that splits wide across Sylus’s face as he stretches his body tall to full length. “Come now, that’s surely not all of what you’ve got for me.” Sweat barely beginning to make itself known across the firm muscled expanse of his arms, his torso. He's hardly out of breath while his opponents gawk at him as if cornered against a rabid beast.   
Your heart thrills in unexpected, startled pleasure to witness the strange, sensuous virility to his almost savage visage as he paces forward on swift, easy steps, within the ring.   
You’d always known Sylus to hold a rich charisma compacted within that strong personality; an ability to entice all he came into contact with. A brilliant, perceptive mind along with that tacit, undeterred will; he’d brought flourishing business booming within Lungtang over his period of unofficial rule of the place. The uncrowned Onychinus King and a fearsome warrior; the first time you’d truly stood witness to what he was capable of, outside of devious negotiations, professional and unalike.   
And to know, it was for you that he stood in that place now, socking down enemies with the streak of a great, terrifying beast that had your heart skittering within your chest and your blood thrumming within your ears, alongside the adrenaline roiling through your veins. He truly was an infuriatingly perfect man.   
You joined your voice to the shouts of encouragement rolling off the townspeople, in waves for their Warrior God just as Sylus brings an opponent down to his knees with a violent sweep of his knee to his torso.   
“Enough!” You hear the squeaked, enraged bellow of the Magistrate as he watches the proceedings with an increasingly incensed face. Whipping his reddening face towards the crowd to shake a threatening fist at them. “Quiet down before I have you all thrown into the dungeons!”   
But the townsfolk refuse to relent; their cheers rising to a deafening roar as the Magistrate nearly tumbles out of his seat to thrust a trembling finger at the ring as Sylus tosses another of his men over his shoulder to taste the ground at his feet . The attendants at his side scamper towards the arena at once. A quick, urgent rush of communication seems to pass in between the attendants and Sylus’s remaining opponents. Before the servants are tossing weapons into the ring, ones the cronies lunge for as soon as they hit the field. Rising slow once more as they brandish their newly obtained unfair advantage at an unarmed Sylus.  
A great wave of shock and indignance passes over the crowd just as you push past the row of onlookers to jostle yourself to the very front. “Hey! This was not among the rules!” You shout at the Magistrate. A sentiment the rest of the crowd joins you in mirroring but all it earns you is an insouciant shrug from the bastard, shedding any remaining responsibility of hosting a fair fight against Sylus. “And the rules didn’t indicate the participants were not allowed the use of tools at their disposal either. The opposing party’s principal should’ve brought his own if he wished for one, as well.”  
“That’s not—” Your voice breaks in agonised distress just as the Magistrate turns away from you entirely to press his rotund body back into the comfort of his seat to watch his laid-out massacre once more. Son of a cur.   
“Sylus!” You try and yell for his attention amongst the horrified cries of the crowd. “ Sylus, you don’t have to fight anymore! Get out of there, now! Sylus . ”  
His gaze sweeps over the mass of spectators for that one split moment, as if foraging for yours. Until it seems to find and fixate upon you, his mouth forming slow shape over words you cannot hear but understand on instinct, “Stay right there.”  
Your heart leaps and slams violent against the back of your breastbone with the crowd’s rising screams, just as a hefty brute lunges for Sylus; a battle axe heaved high above his head to strike a killing blow.   
The first cleave of the blade, Sylus avoids, to the tumbling pummel of your frenzied nerves. The man’s fervent swings, he dodges left and right. Avoiding another enemy’s assault with a dagger aimed straight for his gut; Sylus streaks the side of his palm flat onto his wrist in a hit vicious enough, the knife goes flying out of his grasp to stick, hilt-up, useless onto the ground. Before Sylus pummels a heavy fist into the assailant’s face, plastering him down onto the ground.   
The metallic chains of a flail come streaking for him, just as he side-steps past another heavy swing of the axe, catching the iron fetters of it harsh against his wrist. He ducks close into the enemy, manoeuvring the momentum of his attack into his own advantage, to wrench the man harsh into the fist he rams straight into his gut. Tumbling him sideways into the ground, unconscious.  
The bulldozing axe wielding maniac, now in close proximity, careens straight for Sylus on a fervent bellow, sweeping a blow straight for his head. Sylus seizes his last standing opponent’s assault against the strength of a muscled forearm. Catching the brunt of the axe’s hilt at it before he shoves back on a ferocious, inhuman show of force.   
Sylus, your heart hammers, lips forming shape over the syllables of his name in urgent prayer.   
The momentum of the wide, stone blade pushed back in such violence, sends the wielder staggering back with the weight of it; Sylus turning that precious moment of weakness to his benefit as he lunges straight for his neck, seizing it within a thick fist. The core muscles of his arm, rippling with the force with which Sylus hauls him off his feet entirely to drive the man down onto the ground with a vicious snarl.   
The combatant stops moving immediately, knocked out cold on the dirt; Sylus rising slow onto his feet as he stares at the man, chest heaving with the efforts of his strenuous exertion.   
A grave’s quietude slumps across the gathered crowd for several, tense moments.   
And then shatters into raucous chaos as the Conqueror of the duel is cheered to the high heavens; Sylus’s grin, wide and daunting, as he shifts off his fallen opponent, scrubbing a large hand back through sweat soaked locks as he starts ambling over toward the edge of your side of the arena.   
And your heart — your silly little heart — soars from its place within your chest and out for him, the high of his victory, as if it were your own, throbbing brutal within your blood.   
Before you know or comprehend it, your legs are moving; pushing past the crowds of onlookers, the wooden slates of your sandals skidding at dirt, as you fly across the ring toward Sylus. Your gaze entirely filled with your brilliant warrior’s expression shifting into surprise as you hurtle into him. And Sylus — that big, beautiful man understands — catches your careening body within his embrace; your momentum, he breaks against a half-swivel about his heel. Large, warm arms come tight about your body, wordless, without a question uttered, to seclude you further into that private space; just for you both in that moment.   
Your arms stretching about the thick expanse of his neck as you hold on hard to him; Sylus’s low exhale you feel warm gently, into the crescent of your neck as he sinks into you. The people, his duel; none of it matter when you embrace him this close against you, the adrenaline of your unbound joy, his impressive triumph settling into your thundering heart, you feel pressed against him.   
His soft, heavy laughter curls pleasant into your ears. “To the victor go the spoils, I guess.” He breathes. “Although this treasure seems particularly eager on jumping into my arms herself.”   
“Of course I am.” You press yourself away from him enough to afford yourself a proper survey of his face. “Gods, you were brilliant. Thank you, Sylus.”   
His thumb brushes just beneath your eye; a slow, testing touch. His gaze simmers in unusual, unexpected gentleness that siphons the breath from your lungs. “You need never thank me for anything, sweetheart, let alone this. I do not want it.”   
Your own relief blooming into a smile, but before you can respond; an unpleasant, harsh voice fractures through the air — the Magistrate seething and raging as he makes his way over to you both, an army of guards right behind. Clearly, the man could not stomach a sore loss; rabid fire and venom within his gaze as he trudges toward you, screaming obscenities.   
“Step back for a bit, kitten.” And you obey without further prompting, granting Sylus a wide berth for whatever he plans on doing.   
He doesn’t spare a moment longer before he’s striding forward, snatching one of the Magistrate’s unconscious minions off the ground. Hoisting him high up by the scruff of his neck. The Magistrate’s steps stagger just then at Sylus’s mad display, perhaps sensing the disaster he’s called upon him.   
But it’s far too late. “Here, have a present from all of Lungtang, Sire.” Sylus tows his arm back, wide, and aims — to the scurrying cries of the Magistrate — before he violently hurls the man in hand, right at the waddling official, bowling him and half his guards over like a stack of gambling plaques.   
“Sylus.” You gasp at his insane spectacle.  
Before the corrupt, toppled lot can even think to get their bearings back, Sylus is strolling back toward you; a quick flourish of a large hand thrown over his shoulder, in signal. “Take care of them,” he instructs out loud.   
A swarm of dark clad men melt away, on his sole command, from the crowds, to pack around the Magistrate and his men, blotting their figures entirely out of your sight. “Come on.” Sylus’s voice fractures through your reverie, his frame crowding your field of vision.   
“Whe— aah!” A hefty arm swoops beneath the back of your legs, sending frantic fingers scrabbling for purchase against the strength of Sylus’s shoulders as he hoists you up against his body. “What’re you doing?” 
He flashes a devious grin up at you, completely at odds against the bewildered shock you know is wide across your face. “Time to get out of here, sweetheart,” is all he offers in response before he’s sweeping you away from the pandemonium he’s wrought and the boisterous crowd; discarding all of that well-earned glory behind.   
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The throng of on-goers tapers out the farther you get on to the road winding away from the arena; curious and awed looks alike garnered your way: at your position, and at the man — the infamous Onychinus head — who strolls easy through the streets of Lungtang, in possession of the strange woman he carries snug on the crook of an arm.  
A flush creeping hot up your face the longer this spectacle goes on until Sylus’s pace — thank the Gods above — dwindles to a halt. “This should be far enough.”   
“Yes, thank you. Put me down now.” Tapping fraught fingers against his shoulders in emphasis. Sylus raises a sculpted brow at you but relents, nonetheless. He steps past the mouth of the nearest back-street, well clear of people, before he helps you down onto your feet.   
You lean a hand across his arm, taking a moment to scramble your bearings back.   
“The brief walk back has you this out of breath, huh?” You turn a half-hearted frown at his mild ribbing; the man barely having broken a sweat himself, for having carried you all the way down here.   
“I wasn’t the one who asked you to lug me the entire way, you know,” you return.   
“What can I say, sweetheart? I’m rather protective of my treasures being made to rot too long among the grime.” He gently pinches your cheek in between thick, tapered digits; voice descending to a softer baritone. “And I won, as promised.” Long, tapered fingers skim heat across the angle of your cheekbone. “So, you’ll give me a pass this once, won’t you?”  
Vivid scarlet flitters in inscrutable emotion to witness you cup careful palms about his own, as he touches you.   
“You also pulled that insane stunt with that sleaze of a magistrate at the end there. I don’t know how you plan on getting out of that one,” you point out, but there is no actual heat to your accusation.  
He exhales a half-laugh. “That’s probably long taken care of.” Stroking the fall of your hair back against your ear. “No one will come after you now.”  
You step closer to him. “You do know I’m capable of worrying about you too, right? I’m not heartless.” His mouth quirks at your peeved admission. “...You’re important to me Sylus.”  
A streak of something akin to surprise fulgurates for a moment’s notice within that garnet gaze, at your confession.   
Your fingers trek a steady path against the painted beads of your necklace dangling at his chest. “Although I do hope you’ll never pull something like this on my behalf, ever again.” He'd brought it back to you, safe and unscathed, just as he’d said — a vow made, he had honoured.   
Relief was still warm within your chest, along with the turbulence of long nursed vexing emotions, brought forth to the surface — for a man you’d known for almost half your life — by the day’s sequence of events. “I don’t think my heart could handle it.” You huff out a soft laugh.   
An inscrutable emotion streaks across Sylus’s face, too quick to pick apart until it retreats entirely once more.   
“Unfortunately for you,” long, tapered digits sweep about yours at his chest, capturing your hand steady within his grip. “that’s not a pledge I can offer you.” His whisper is low, throaty as it settles against you and you realize the sudden proximity of your positions.   
His striking face is all that floods your vision. His gaze flickers from yours, down toward the bow of your parted lips — a remiss on his part, you can tell from how it rolls back swift to catch your eyes once more. If you did not know any better, you might’ve almost thought he meant to lean further and—  
But was it really the mad conjuring of your mind and a reluctantly hopeful heart that wished to see what it thought it did? Or had you been this obtuse on purpose all along?   
Your brow knits in consternation; this far removed from the persistent babbling of voices — your anxieties, the people, his duel, your uncertain fates at the time — and sequestered within the quiet alley; your roiling thoughts are loud and insistent.   
“And why’s that, Sylus?” You ask quietly.  
The skewed pull of his mouth is devastatingly beautiful even in its lack of mirth, this up close. “I think you know the answer to that, sweetheart. Or are you going to pretend otherwise?” His thumb strokes its gentle path across your knuckles — lighting an incendiary course — your hand still placed firm at his chest. “Whatever your choice, however, know it has always been yours to make.”  
The muted, steady beats of his heart beneath your palm seem to thrum past the sensitive pads of your digits as they skim a line past his pectorals, and up your body, warming it from the inside out.   
You swallow against the surge of a nervous fever that takes you all at once; ploughing past that pluck of anxiety at your chest, to bet your entirety on the one gamble you’re about to make.   
“Come to think of it.” Pink tongue slinks past a mouth parched, to trek a slow path across your bottom lip, end to end; the intolerable burning intensity of Sylus’s scarlet gaze scouring each single motion, sending your light-headedness thrumming higher. “You haven’t truly won yet, have you, Sylus?”   
“What?” He exhales heavily. His breathing has quickened just a snick higher, you notice, underneath your feathering ministrations. You’re fascinated by how he sounds much short of breath in this one instant than he did throughout the entirety of that match. The fact sending a deluge of warm pride and desire threading through your heart.   
“A winner is only one when he has been crowned as such, and received his dues.” You clarify, shifting closer against him.   
Stretching up on the balls of your feet until you’re a mere hair’s breadth from his face. “You however, have yet to claim your prize.” Sweeping forward until your lips are skimming against his in a tentative, testing brush of kiss — your hammering thoughts of uncertainty, of whether he wants this too, swiped clean with the soft, guttural choke of sound that slips past Sylus’s lips at your brazen initiative. And before you can bask under the simmering warmth of what that sound does to you, Sylus is curving a large palm firm within the thread of your locks, wrenching your mouth back against his in a bruising, fervid kiss.  
Eager fingers skitter at the strength of his shoulders to ground yourself against the sudden, pleasurable onslaught just as he captures your waist within the ironed grip of an arm. Almost lifting you up entirely against him until you’re suspended barely at the tips of your toes.   
His grunts are warm against the inside of your mouth as his tongue skims past the easy access of your parted lips to taste you against himself. The wet muscle sliding against yours before he sucks it into his own mouth on an approving groan of desire.   
You're nearly nerveless by the time he parts from you on a wet stretch of sound, barely enough distance, his breath cascades hot against your damp lips with each guttural word, keying you higher. “This is getting a bit too dangerous, kitten. I suggest we stop here if you don’t wish to reach a point of no-return.”  
“No. No,” Your hands flit in fervent frenzy from the stretch of his shoulders to bunch into the thick silver weave of his hair. “We don’t ever need to stop. I want this, I want you, if you do too.” Your mouth descending back against his in the dizzy crush of lips and tongue, Sylus’s groans of pleasure you drink down against your own moan.  
“There hasn’t been a single moment where I haven’t desired you, sweetheart.” He whispers in harsh breaths into the pocket of space you allow him in between your kisses. “You’re the one who said it now. So, brace yourself.”   
A hand you skim down the thick length of his neck, grazing at the base of his hair to support yourself against the large arms that cage your waist to lift until he’s driving you both back against the wall of the narrow alleyway, shrouding you deeper into shadows.   
His kiss of gentle affection skids past the cut of your cheek, so at odds against the fierce brunt of his arousal you feel grinding into your belly. You buck against the touch just as Sylus eases you down, only enough you’re on your feet now; bodies still moulded tight against the shape of each other.   
His mouth continues its work of feathering kisses across the curve of your cheek, down the delicate line of your jaw. His hips stroking against yours in gentle motions, sending the roll of his hard length against your stomach each time he guides you against himself, having you squirm in roiling pleasure, helpless against the insistence of his mouth and pelvis. Meeting his body with yours in the reflexive buck of your hips against his.   
The elongated stretch of your skirt, sending a mild frisson of frustration through your nerves to feel the restriction of your movements against his. Groaning in soft defeat against Sylus’s mouth over yours, just as he cups a large hand about the angle of your pelvis. Caressing past the flare of your behind, rucking up the fabric within a tight fist to slide it, far too slow, up your legs.   
A final brush of temporary farewell he kisses against your drenched lips before he descends, unhurried, down the length of your body; scarlet gaze refusing to relent from yours for even a single measured moment of mercy. A thick palm he traces, appreciative, down the curves of you as he pitches on to his knees.   
Thumb warming its touch against the edge of a knee, your skirts bunched at the hand fastened about your leg as it caresses a slow, sensual path up higher. The glorious sight he is, down on his knees in between the willing split of your legs; undoing in its entirety — you shudder at the devastation he brings upon you when his fingers hone their target upon the cloth of your underwear at your hip. Skating a delicate path against the knot of it before his index slips underneath it to tug undone.   
Wresting your underwear away entirely on his next sharp tug before he sweeps the mortifyingly damp cloth away from your body and under his nose for a long, obscene inhale. “You smell sweet, kitten. So much of this pretty nectar, all for me... I admit I’m more than a little flattered.” The skew of his devious smirk pulls wider at your choked sound of pleasure to witness him swipe your underwear down against his back, and pocket into the satchel at his belt.   
“Sylus,” you reprimand half-heartedly, in distressed urgency.   
“The victor takes it all, does he not? These are my spoils to have now, kitten.” His large palms are back at the skin of your legs, skimming a dizzying, scorching path up the quiver of your thighs. “Just as you are, the treasure I snatched for myself.”  
“Let me indulge in my private feast, quietly now.” He baits in heated whispers, jaw falling open as he disappears in between the heavy folds of your skirt and — Heaven help you — the sound that scrapes raw past your throat to feel the tease of his broad tongue against your drenched slit, is unlike any you’ve ever heard before. The high-pitched squeal you cut off in the hasty wrench of your bottom lip into your mouth, heated desire clouding your swimming vision to tamp down your moans of arousal, lest any passers-by, just a few feet away from your shadowed alcove, spot the indecency of your display.   
Thoughts drifting into emptiness — musing absent at how self-conscious you’d been while Sylus had carried you within his arms all the way out here; fully clothed then. And yet, here you were now, with your skirts bunched high up against your pelvis with that very same man’s wonderful tongue shoved deep inside you.  
The hot pads of Sylus’s index and middle you feel skim against the tight bead of pleasure at your apex, just as the point of his tongue seeps in at your entrance, sending your hips stuttering into his steeled grip, fast at your pelvis.   
You clamp a palm shut tight against your tapering moans, unable to smother them within yourself any longer. The heated plumes of your own breath crowding back against you with each shivered moan Sylus forces out of you.  
His mouth brushes about the length of your folds, the bow of his upper lip bumping gentle at your tight bundle of nerves. Before he closes it within the searing heat of his mouth, sucking at your increasingly swollen flesh.   
Sylus draws at the drenched slick of you like a man intent on devouring you whole, the thought drives your pleasure higher along with the rising euphoria bubbling within your body. A curious thumb parts your inner folds wider to admit the broad of his tongue deep into your slit. Your walls spasming against the breach of it as your hips judder down against the strength of his jaw.  
“You’re close, aren’t you sweetheart? You can keep up a little longer.” His smothered encouragement, the vibrations of his thick voice right against your slit send you tumbling higher upon that precipice of sweet release.   
The added, ruinous excitement of not being able to see him past the abundant frill of your skirts blazes you higher; the sole nervous anticipation of not knowing where he’d touch you next has you gushing on his tongue.   
A low, soft curse you hear spill guttural against your folds, vibrating straight up into your womb, “You’re practically weeping on my tongue, sweetheart. I like that.” Your answering moan you bury into a bite of your sleeve as you fold your arm about your face; a full body quiver long having taken you. You no longer hold control over yourself. “Grind down on my face, relax yourself. Yes, there’s my good girl now.”  
The praise having your walls grip hard at the fingers he’s worked into you now. Propelling them at an indolent, maddening pace into your depths.  
“Sylus,” you pant harshly, mind numbing into a crescendo. “I don’t — hah — can’t — much longer.” Begging for a release so, so close at hand.  
“Then don’t . Let yourself go.” His groans muted against the wet heat of you. “I’ll catch you when you fall.”   
The crook of his middle and ring fingers up into you has you spasming against the intrusive stretch of them. Opening you up deeper; the deft pads of them scrounge up a spot against your frontal walls that has your mouth flying open on a silent scream, head falling back against the unyielding brick of the alley as your fluttering insides clamp down violent against his adroit handling of you. “Right here, is it?” You think you hear his muted whispers spill throaty against the sensitive expanse of your thigh.   
Right at the junction of your hip as Sylus sinks a bite into the pliant flesh just as his thick fingers rub up against that same weak spot inside to have you disintegrating into senselessness right above him.  
You can’t fathom how he’s brought you to such complete devastation in just a few, nimble strokes of his tongue and fingers into you, against you. Never having been dragged this fast or good to the precipice by your own hand, let alone another’s. He’s away each layer of defence, piece by excruciating piece, having worked you open so thoroughly as if he knew your body like his own.  
Truly a man that sought relentless victory even in between the fall of your legs.   
And it is only when that pleasure point is one keyed far too high, with the incessant press of his third finger up into your walls, stretching you open — so incredibly full of just his digits alone — does your body fall. No longer capable of protecting yourself against the battering deluge of a release so consuming, your knees buckle underneath the hefty intensity of his ministrations.   
Sylus’s large hand, you feel warm about your rump, to curve its easy support about it, as he presses his face further into you. Waves upon waves of pleasure, drowning your keening cries against your well-abused bottom lip. A faint frisson of overstimulation stringing you higher to gain enough conscious thought back to catch his low, guttural growl searing harsh at your drenched folds, at the sensation of you gushing all over his tongue.  
You quiver in nerveless arousal to feel the fleeting brush of his kiss farewell against your slit before he rises, slow, onto his feet once more. Your body clenches in on instinctual need to catch sight of his face once more. The slick that glimmers obscenely copious across his mouth and down the strength of his jaw, the untamed, almost bestial intensity to that barely tamped heat within scarlet, as Sylus sweeps a careful thumb against your wetness has you unfurling trembling digits forward to snag around his neck, dragging him down against yourself.  
Consuming the ferocity of his kiss just as eagerly in the tongue you lap at his lips, slipping along the angle of his jaw; moaning softly at the taste of you that clings still to him. Restless fingers steal in between your bodies to reach for the arousal that strains delectable and intimidating against his trousers.  
Flittering your digits about the catch of them as you work them open enough along with the thick fingers that aid you to release him free for your hungry gaze. Your audible gasp of pleasure Sylus captures against the pad of his thumb edging just past the part of your lips.  
He’s incredibly blessed, bigger, girthier than any you’ve ever had before. The prospect of taking that thing inside your body simultaneously terrifies and excites you.  
Your dazed musings Sylus fractures in the cup of your jaw in between firm, gentle digits. “Nervous?”   
“...A bit,” you admit. Adding for good measure, “Nothing I can’t handle, though.”  An expectant hand you move to curve about the breadth of him to make your point — fingers barely able to cup entirely about him.  
Sylus’s laughter is a low, heavy burst of sound. “Don’t worry, kitten.” He reaches down to join his fingers against yours in languidly stroking the length of him. Coasting in close to your ear as he lays a kiss of dark, hoarse promise against it, “I’ll teach you to do more than just handle it.”  
Your pleased moan you throttle against his quick, vehement kiss as Sylus gathers the folds of your skirt up to bunch about your hips. Fitting himself into the space he makes, his arousal glancing hot against your outer labia; feeling him so close to where your body clenches in on tense anticipation.   
He withdraws from you on a wet slip of tongue, seizing your gaze within his. The firm fist he strokes at his length guiding the flared, slick head of him against your folds to lubricate in your wetness, bumping pleasant at your sensitive bead of nerves on each indolent stroke.  
You buck your hips up against his in an impatient scratch of throaty sound. Slipping the head of him so close against your slit, it almost makes you dizzy with need.  
You are not, however, prepared truly for the actual breach of him as he splits you open in pleasure so blinding, it streaks right against your tender bead and up deep into your belly. Sylus’s guttural groans brand hot against the crescent of your neck in overwhelmed desire, a muted swear swallowed into the bite of teeth he presses into it. “Relax yourself a little, kitten, you’ve gone too tight on me.”  
You try, you truly do as you smother past your burning need to scream, for breaths to claw into your lungs; he feels too much, too good all at once, your body incapable of doing much else except accepting the slow propulsion of him deeper into your walls.
He feels almost too much for you to handle, spearing you open so far around him you didn’t even think yourself capable of such a feat. And yet, the copious arousal that slicks in between your bodies, with the voracious clench of your walls around the hard strength of him, sucking him inside, speaks volumes. Of how you’re thoroughly enjoying the feeling of being impaled upon his length.  
“More,” you pant; the slow thrusts of his hips up into yours sending your lashes flittering shut, in overwhelming euphoria and need. “I need more, Sylus.”  
He grunts in acknowledgment, large hands fixing hot fetters of flesh against either side of your pelvis as he thrusts into you, each swollen stroke of his arousal sending him impossibly deep, until you feel it may truly reach your womb.  
Sylus heaves himself closer into you, nearly pinning you against the wall with the sheer strength of his towering body, the heavy pumping of his hips into you, sending euphoria skating through your veins. Intoxicated on feeling the way he moves within you.  
A hand drifts up from your hip to grip at the flare of your waist beneath cloth as Sylus manoeuvres your body to thrust into you at an angle that drives him hard against your swollen spot of pleasure inside.   
Your hands fly in agonized frenzy to clutch at his arms, his shoulders as you grapple with the blinding pleasure he’s carving into your body. His head skews downward to catch the sensitive flesh of your neck in between the bite of restive teeth, a low moan wrenched free of your throat. His mouth strokes down the length of your skin until he teeths at the fastenings of your collar, wrenching violent at the buttons before he scatters them apart. Mouth engulfing the exposed slope of your clavicle in fervid groans.  
Your fingers skitter for purchase into the silver brush of hair at the base of his neck, tugging harsh with his increasingly heavy pace. A low whine clambering past your throat when his grip upon your body tightens once more in purpose, dragging his length to the near tip of him before he rams back into you on a guttural snarl so primal, it has you violently spasming about his thick shaft, your vision blanking in for a moment.  
Sylus’s face is a flood of savage bliss and heated concentration — the sight along with his pleasurably punishing thrusts into your walls — has your heart nearly trying to rip past the bruising beat of it at your breastbone. Hips meeting his in stuttering thrusts as your body bows up, sharp, toward him to chase a height of euphoria so in sight.  
“You’re moaning so loud, kitten.” His throaty chuckle stirs weighty into your belly. “Keep that up and you’ll draw us an audience.” Gnawing weakly at your bottom lip to instinctively tamp your sounds just as Sylus moves to drive into you on a particularly ruinous, deliberate thrust that has your legs buckling entirely underneath you.   
But he’s there to catch you, thick forearms cording about the feeble, trembling plush of your thighs before he hoists you up entirely onto him; his hushed chuckle drifting into guttural laughter. “Why try being quiet on your own when you can just make use what you have at your disposal?” His lips drive against yours in a vehement kiss of teeth and tongue, devouring you, just the way he is in between your legs. You let yourself go at last, moaning unabated into the searing warmth of his mouth, Sylus’s pace turning to near-frenzied rutting, with the sounds he wrenches from your bruised throat.  
He forces you deeper against the wall, spearing you helpless in between the cool stone at your back and the unforgiving intensity of his drilling thrusts pillaging your body. Golden deep pleasure roiling pleasant just beneath your skin, to push at the confines, until you feel like you could float out of it heavenward and never return to the ground.  
Your fevered gaze snags against the painted beads of your gifted charm about his neck, swinging vehement with the force of his propulsions. Drifting absent fingers against the worn orbs of the necklace, mushed mind admiring how truly lovely he looks like this for you; coupled along with that tight knit of concentrated pleasure, it makes you believe he truly is all yours to have. As if he belongs to you, with you.   
That sole, deranged thought sending arousal thrumming within, so blinding, your body quivers into the tight curve of a crescent, pressing hard against his chest, a peak so close, you can feel it stirring vicious into your belly. “You’re all mine to have, aren’t you? My great warrior,” you gasp against his mouth, trembling fingers sweeping for the broad strength of his shoulders as your nails drive in, harsh.
Sylus’s response; groaned heavy against your tongue, without hesitation. “You’ve always had me in my entirety, sweetheart.”  
Your body has wholly given up — a leaden weight — within his grasp, held together only by the strength of Sylus’s arms curving steeled grips about your thighs. Pounding into you with each fervid roll of his hips slapping against the back of your thighs — the profuse flow of your arousal sweltering in between your already burning bodies, the obscene squelch of it each time he withdraws from your walls only to drive back in with savage, terrifying accuracy, rutting himself so good against the spot inside that has you quivering uncontrollably around the length of him.  
Your combined sultry symphony so loud within your ears, drumming along with the thundering of your heart, you’re sure any passers-by crossing the mouth of the alley would be able to hear. Your cotton-fed mind so far gone, however, you’re no longer coherent enough to care about anyone hearing your claims upon each other’s bodies. So deeply entrenched in the sole existence of Sylus: his body, tongue, his bruising grip upon you, you love so much — scoring stinging crescents as your own signs of victory, across the broad strength of his shoulders, down the firm muscle of his arms, serving to drive him only harder into you until he’s knocking half-screams out of your throat. Swallowing them up against the hungry sweep of his tongue.  
Sylus’s thrusts into your body have turned erratic, his guttural moans heating your skin into a blazing furnace. You’re so close to release, you can feel the heavy crest of its deluge approaching — golden and ruinous.  
His grip upon the flare of your hip shifts, pressing you impossibly deeper against him, the new angle driving the length of him against your sensitive bundle of nerves on each hammering thrust. “A-Almost—” Gasping a breathless warning.  
Hurtling you so high; the frenzied pump of his hips into yours, the constant stimulation at your swollen bead sending your walls spasming so violent, you feel Sylus loose a long, guttural groan deep into your mouth. You tumble off the precipice of release just as you feel the first thick spurts of his seed searing fire against your sensitized walls; Sylus’s sultry growls keying your frenzied release so high your fingers scrape across the back of his neck to tug him harsh against your mouth. Sinking your quivering, heated desires into a vehement bite at his chest, Sylus’s digits weaving tight into your hair at the back of your head, to hold you there.  
His thundering pulse you moan against in appreciation, laving absent to soothe the reddening bite at his skin, as your body convulses with the still flowing spurts of his release, stroking at the intoxicating fever of your prolonged orgasm, filling you to the brim and over; the warmth of it you feel drip past your folds and onto his sturdy thighs.  
Taking several, long much needed moments to compose yourself as your sweat-slick face falls, nerveless, to press your cheek against the damp expanse of his chest, body still suspended firm upon the corded strength of his arms, his cock nestled snug and thick within you.  
You claw a much-needed gulp of air past a throat, long sore. “...I fear you may have to carry me here on out, as well, Sylus, because I certainly can’t move an inch right now.”  
His amused chuckle drifts warm against the top of your head. “While joined together just like this?” He teases softly. “You may truly pass out of sheer embarrassment this time if I do, kitten.”  
“Doesn’t matter,” you quip right back, half-hearted, canting a languid gaze up his way. “I think I’ll be long knocked out before any pesky shame kicks in, from how good this — you were.”  
You feel Sylus’s length twitch within your walls at your words, groaning quietly at the growing strain of his arousal, back to half-mast already. Truly, was there a limit to the man’s enduring stores of stamina?  
But perhaps, the real question was of your own insatiable appetite too, when it came to him, as you were only newly discovering — your wrecked body responding in the muted burn of arousal, kindling into slow fire within your belly, clenching weakly at him.  
“Tell you what, sweetheart.” Sylus’s skewed grin tucks against your ear as he nuzzles at your cheek.  “I’ll carry you out of here in my arms, as you wish, without the additional parade of our naked bodies. In return,” A kiss he feathers, against the angle of your cheekbone. “Come home with me.”  He asks of you, softly.
You bury your approval in the nudge of your nose against him, catching his lips against yours in a gentle, chaste kiss, “Sounds like a done deal to me, my handsome warrior.”  
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End Notes: Thank you for reading! This was a very fun indulgence and I hope everyone who bagged Sylus’ card enjoyed his soft card story.
Tagging as requested: @samanthagnicole , @catboi-anon , @bitches4lifebro , @beebumbo , @hellinistical , @dangerousluv1 , @webmvie , @Cas-tiel13 , @aria-tempest , @raendarkfaerie , @lamentinee , @unhingedsillygod , @tiredas , @ladyparamount
If you have not been tagged, it’s because I can’t tag you due to tagging permissions turned off on your end.
If you’d like to be tagged in my future stories, you can fill this short form here. If you’d like to be removed, shoot me a DM!
You can also find me on Ao3 and twitter, if you’d like to chat or just squeal with me about hot characters, in general.
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deadsetobsessions · 1 year ago
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.3
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]
“Aquaman.” Batman swept into the room, beelining straight for the suddenly apprehensive Atlantean king.
“Batman. What can I do for you?”
“Phantom. Does he pay taxes?”
“Pardon?”
Batman makes a low noise that had Aquaman’s danger senses buzzing.
“Does Phantom have to pay taxes. Towards Atlantis.”
“No…? Why?”
“He wanted money, in exchange for… information, of a delicate sort,” Batman said, diplomatically avoiding the topic of Phantom bargaining for the identities of corpses in exchange for a measly $100 dollars per identity. Like a flea market dealer, that one was.
“You encountered Phantom again?” Aquaman perked up.
“Yes. Gotham’s bay is… polluted.” Batman paused. “With victims. Of murder.”
The entire area quieted as heads turned towards the Dark Knight.
“Yes, I am… distantly aware of Gotham’s waters.” By that, Aquaman gets green around the gills whenever he turns his awareness in that direction. There’s a reason he doesn’t enter Gotham, and the Dark Knight’s ban is only half of that reason. “Ah, but you’re correct. For what purpose would Phantom need mortal currency?”
“Hn.”
“Maybe he needs some stuff?” Flash zipped to a stop next to Batman, feet tapping as he dug into the pile of snacks cradled in his arms. “Us mortals are always coming up with new things, maybe he wants to try some games or something?”
Batman tilted his head down, seriously considering Flash’s suggestion. “It’s plausible.”
“Barry, Barry, Barry. He’s old as hell, right? He probably wants to try the new booze!”
“Hal, my man!” Flash fist bumped Green Lantern, who came up. “You’re back! What happened to John?”
“Dunno. He got called somewhere that way,” Green Lantern waved a vague hand towards the left. “Had to deal with a politician or something from that area.” He shrugged, swinging an arm over Barry’s shoulders to put him in a headlock and stealing a chip.
“Huh. Anyways, would our mortal alcohol even work on a demi-god or something?”
“We should ask!” Hal turned towards Batman. “You should ask if he wants to go for a drink, spooky!”
“He’s a child.”
“He’s been around for more than a millennia, Bats.”
“Informational gathering, right, Hal?” Flashgot out of the headlock, quickly munching on his snacks to stop Green Lantern from stealing them.
“Totally. Yup.”
“…Fine.”
“Wait, are we just gonna ignore that Gotham’s waters are full of bodies?”
“Yes.”
——
“What?” Danny asked, mind half on the bags he’s dragging out of the water and the other half on the essay he has to submit in about four hours.
“Green Lantern wanted to invite you out for a drink.”
Danny turned to the stoic Gotham knight, who had his wrist computer out to log the bodies’ info the moment Danny gave him the information. Some of them even told Danny who murdered them, so Batman could start building cases with solid leads.
Danny’s only twenty. He’s not legal yet but he doesn’t want to give any clues to who he is. How is he supposed to…
Ah!
“Can’t.” Danny shrugged. “I’m not legal. I died when I was fourteen so…” Danny trailed off, speechless at the drowned puppy face Batman was giving him. What the fuck.
“Anyways, fork over my payment.”
Batman wordlessly hands him a wad of hundreds.
“What do you need cash for?” Batman suddenly asked.
“Huh? Isn’t it obvious?” Danny tucked it in. “Material things, obviously. I need a blanket,” because holy shit, Gotham is damn cold this time of year. “Anyways, see you same time next week, litterer.”
“I don’t litter.”
“Tell that to the batarangs I found under the water,” Danny grumbled. “But I’ll stop calling you that if you get a signature from Poison Ivy. I have a friend who loves her.”
“An alive friend?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?”
Danny snickered and disappeared. He’s gotta cram that essay.
——
“There’s a possibility Phantom might be homeless.”
“Batman, I mean this in the nicest way, but for the love of Atlantis, please stop giving me headaches. It’s time like these I wish I stayed a lighthouse keeper.”
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rubyrhythmposts-archive · 2 years ago
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looked at the google play reviews for the game. and atp idk what people want from rhythm hive
#୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅🌷 ruby.txt#rhythm hive#people bitched during the last major update about the exact same things that people are bitching about now#i'm not trying to white knight for hybe or anything. but as far as my own thoughts on the game#yeah the game got harder because of flick notes and the new note tiles maybe aren't the most intuitive#but save for the songs labeled as “renewed” (i.e. they have flick notes now) a lot of the beat maps are still exactly the same#i'd wager maybe all of the non-renewed songs are#any clunkiness in the general ui has been in the game since forever#and you can't tell me the new card leveling system isn't a massive improvement over the old one#before you needed two max level xr rarity copies of one card to get a ur. and also a ridiculous amount of those vocal/performance chips#now you only need one copy. and there's only one special rarity upgrade currency instead of two#and if you're not a multistan you can exchange all your high rarity cards from other groups you don't care about#either for that new upgrade currency or a card from the group you actually care about#don't get me wrong there's a lot i can criticize about this update#the new gacha for example with all the groups in one pool. that's the only change people bring up that's legitimately indefensible#it just annoys me that so many people are coming out of the woodwork asking for the old update#when i know for a fact that that previous update was universally shat on#and if they mean the previous previous update when mix challenges were still a thing and cheer mode didn't exist#honestly why were they still playing up to this point. everyone and their mother was saying that that update singlehandedly killed the game#to me it really feels like people are complaining just because people like to complain about change#otherwise they'd bring up problems that weren't already there since the previous major update
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wealthview · 2 days ago
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How to Change Old Currency Notes Easily
Are you holding onto old, forgotten Indian currency notes? Perhaps some are remnants of a past trip, tucked away in a drawer, or maybe you’ve unearthed an old purse with some forgotten cash. Whatever the reason, having old Indian currency notes can be a bit inconvenient. But changing them shouldn’t be a hassle! This guide will walk you through the straightforward process of how to change old currency notes easily, so you can convert them into usable funds without any unnecessary headache. We’ll cover everything from identifying your notes to navigating potential pitfalls and ensuring a smooth transaction.
Identifying Your Old Currency Notes
Before dashing off to the bank, it’s crucial to correctly assess your old currency.
Demonetized Notes vs. Outdated Notes
Understanding the difference between demonetized and simply outdated notes is the first step. Demonetized notes are declared illegal tender by the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) and are no longer considered legal currency. Outdated notes, on the other hand, are simply old designs of notes that have been replaced with newer ones—a more recent example being the discontinued ₹500 and 1000 designs from 2015, which can still be exchanged. Always refer to the official RBI website (https://www.rbi.org.in/) for up-to-date lists of demonetized notes and their exchange policies. The exchange process varies considerably depending on this first factor.
Assessing the Condition of Your Notes
The condition of your notes also plays a significant role in determining the exchange process. Damage can encompass anything from minor imperfections like stains to more serious issues resulting from tears and rips. The policy regarding the replacement may significantly vary for soiled, torn, or damaged currency. It’s essential to inspect all your notes beforehand. Sorting and categorizing the currency notes into good condition v/s damages helps the process run easily at your appointment if your condition needs special intervention.
Where to Exchange Old Indian Currency Notes
Your options remain generally the following:
Banks – Your Primary Exchange Point
Banks are typically the easiest and most reliable way to exchange old Indian currency notes. Visit your nearest branch of your bank to convert your current or bank related paper currencies. Most local Banks take the time and trouble out of older currency conversions. Before heading to the branches, however, you’ll need a confirmation and clarification from your chosen outlet about exact limitations and any documentation involved on that specific locations old denomination limitations with those of that area specifically so you will leave time for any clarification.
RBI Offices for Specific Cases
RBI offices act as an accessible alternative mostly handling cases dealing with extremely damaged and mutilated notes as a general solution. However you must be aware this is only for particular denominations including specific and exact damaged notes if this applies specifically to what you need assistance with. Contact the RBI (via their website, not telephone or regular mail) you may possibly receive a referral based on your currency type.
Other Authorized Agents (If Applicable)
Be cautious. While limited entities other than banks were formerly able to occasionally be authorized exchanges; as currency denominations and designs changed frequently along with restrictions that remain in process on many of these forms of acceptance there are usually far fewer possibilities of this happening than there already happens to remain available options in most places. Any claims of other possibilities by any party should generally be researched further extensively immediately on reputable sites independently before processing anything involved based on their declarations as a verification method is paramount across most of these exchanges within India’s regulatory guidelines for these forms of paper currency.
The Step-by-Step Exchange Process
For the vast majority of successful processing and conversion situations involved dealing with this in old paper form currencies the steps can most often follow the same procedure:
Preparing for Your Visit
Gather your required identity proofs — usually your Aadhaar card, PAN card, etc.)— before showing up at your closest locations’ facilities to avoid needless delays, and carefully gather and organize this. Carefully handle any possibly relevant, organized receipts and any information necessary for clear transactions including amounts you bring as applicable so accurate reporting during the transaction should ensure your process is streamlined effectively without hindrance.
Interacting with Bank Staff
Explain your situation clearly and comprehensively, explaining you may have old or outdated denominations politely and comprehensively as necessary through the given procedural instructions.
Proceed as politely and thoroughly as necessary—offering relevant organizational material of your notes’ categorization appropriately while being ready for any explanations or questions that could address specifics about sources or other origins should clarify doubts and potentially delays on your matter at your appointment by this methodology greatly reduced through planning extensively.
Completing the Transaction
On this final stage, the final completion’s verification of any issued acknowledgement receipts—including relevant confirmation transactions of relevant updated exchanges as applicable from their given procedural assistance— this may involve an in-house specialist if appropriate based on the total quantities present or similar other needs depending upon the quantities involved at their facilities including the possible need for an external specialist at those particular branches according to their needs or specific branch procedural matters at appointment; the final step should have the details checked entirely along each appropriate step after thorough clarification so you ensure the complete process’ accuracy entirely across every single phase or relevant matter until completed for your final confirmation.
Dealing with Damaged or Partially Destroyed Notes
Some of these cases require special considerations—including possible need verification assistance such as documentation requirements as well:
Assessing the Damage
This stage depends exactly on whether the damage requires any of these possible extra steps included here on your need as well (including all specifics included and all needed procedures for those specifics). Assessing your needs—as these processes might require specialized considerations which would be involved based only in direct relation specific to those involved. These should be noted independently when you start the preparation steps during your initial organization including what kinds must be done; while some are processed within banking agencies some may be specialized and require various types of assistance therefore this procedure or involvement would vary appropriately during every process stage until completed successfully by those specified departments according to this process during those steps which would already be documented beforehand across applicable agencies for each branch or any related specialized assistance agencies based upon where your needed specifications can provide processing directly in that branch rather based entirely within those specified departments in those cases. 
The Exchange Process for Damaged Notes
Those damaged pieces which had needed specialized considerations at handling, based accordingly upon any involvement or related specifications of special consideration would be covered. This however will cover steps which would require more special needs involvement accordingly therefore based entirely only upon all relevant conditions and possible needs—whether there was possible necessity of a branch specialist for specialized types only which were those required ones accordingly this stage—the involvement stage; would contain the involvement of documentation at each stage only as needed (that needs for that stage only with that involvement’s involvement depending completely along each phase across any various specifications and related involved steps while each step until each stage needed to be dealt out on successful verification accordingly).
Avoiding Scams and Common Pitfalls
Remember always during various conversions which this kind potentially often has a high value per currency that should also contain significant worth should not be understated: therefore a lot would need additional precautions especially against likely more typical scams involved specifically regarding many areas like these ones too so therefore precautions across many kinds which require increased additional levels protection also would be highly especially necessary for safety’s involved security specifically to minimize any possibility involving a serious safety issues occurring against those potentially valuable types of paper material; here’s several measures including more to these involving more precautions against anything involving any associated scams accordingly involved precautions accordingly based always therefore against scams at all kinds would only ensure protection more safely while specifically minimize significantly against any losses incurred: therefore increased safety during this conversion is required highly so you need also enhanced safety awareness alongside throughout process.
Beware of Unauthorized Agents
Any parties claimed as possibly dealing in transactions not explicitly via authorized banking is only done by authorized or recognized parties therefore to these agencies so anything claiming this is an immediately invalid or illegal claim which often also would be inherently a fraud claim also that many scams originate or start from so this type often starts or develops therefore avoid it entirely across every single case encountered based across many. In essence—avoid dealings at unauthorized types instead remain entirely within completely established and highly reputable organizations with clearly and strictly identified bank-authorized channels for complete safety only within safe means. You must remain accordingly involved by these reliable methods across any phase to deal with your paper forms currency accordingly; as anything unreliable otherwise should therefore always also be avoided completely whenever whenever possible regardless what method across all phases whenever feasible means to deal safely remains exclusively reliable options during conversion which involves high-value forms like these old-type currencies involved those.
Understanding Exchange Limits and Fees
Several exchange forms often may possibly involve applicable various types exchange levels limits that should remain strictly adhered accordingly when needed while various levels exist there many often are various depending only on amounts across those values, be it local region or other reasons causing those specific factors causing discrepancies there causing such possible various levels those limits possibly occurring among these types of exchange forms accordingly as certain regions having different practices that remain only consistently among branches at that local area instead across only those within the local area alone entirely rather on a widespread basis accordingly along regions. Therefore those involved must only verify the necessary policies that each will deal with; always verifying policies accordingly always with clarity only after those specific levels involved for their local transactions. Therefore for total clarity verify which these limitations locally have locally through those processes among the branches only will appropriately clarified thoroughly only after this check involved at your location so that appropriately verify that those exchanges with currency happen with limits consistent completely so then also these processes with various fees involved would remain consistently across these exchanges as clarified only after these initial exchange forms involve their verification appropriately whenever possible also beforehand through those preliminary verifications involved exclusively across branches instead always with clarification thoroughly beforehand prior conducting across entire procedures in order remain with these clear forms prior their dealing therefore only remaining those reliable methods.
FAQ
Q1: What if part of my old banknotes is missing or torn due to the general disrepair or wear from damage that happened?
A1: Seriously damaged notes possibly could require submitting them in person, the bank’s security for dealing damaged banks at an appointment where their security handles such submissions under surveillance so they receive a proper confirmation about dealing properly or handling such items involved under observation only under verified conditions to help your case deal with appropriate forms only within reliable methods alone in this regard especially this should always to that effect so only remains as reliable among authorized agencies to remain only those always dealt accordingly based only exclusively those approved means—only those established, known safe sources only for confirmed cases at established forms so never leave anything for those involving unsecured or unauthorized ways only—that must follow entirely by verified sources to avoid scams at types while remaining safer dealing accordingly for those purposes involved safely through verified sources those.
Q2: Are there any limits on the amount of total money that I can exchange at once across any time overall total sums involved? A2: Various laws are based accordingly on the time limit during the official authorized periods the limitations change in the time given overall based across those levels only based on that so there’s consistently changing limitations therefore any limits involved those will possibly contain changes those therefore verification involved before conducting these exchanges will always include any new ones accordingly across various possible times among those consistent changing conditions consistently only therefore this ensures this information only stays accordingly among clearly communicated means. Across total sums—limits involved at such varying exchanges as time processes involved limits on any totals involved; varies only based always that specific times period involved overall across several levels those; however total values vary based entirely across those levels involved those only accordingly based throughout the exchanges occurring among those authorized processes and among periods that those therefore remain accurate by all means always involved; the consistency among that among various periods remain so always consistent this involved verification always among forms those for these so consistently through those involved during these involved to these ones always that means for clear those to handle reliably across amounts given correctly among consistent ones therefore clearly only forms based consistently on periods specified levels so all through accurately accordingly by only those verifying.
Q3: If I’m exchanging a vast quantity of that older paper denominated currencies how are such exchanges done effectively across various totals?
A3: Due to certain restrictions in many of the cases these need involvement through banking forms with specialists, specifically from more local or regional representatives according to various factors involved those; usually any limits according across several means those involved for any values; across any total levels any exchanges accordingly may need specialist intervention for high-value dealing often based on various high quantities overall if involved; total sums values for such exchanges at branches possibly sometimes will however generally among various factors across other limits among these would deal generally if among various values these depending various others depending many upon regions involved. Total handling for these however should depend completely consistently among these across each level based upon various factors within various others as factors. Verification accordingly should provide verification forms therefore only after these checks verifying each those locally.
Q4: Can I exchange the banknotes at anytime? This process varies based at various total level or by denominations among other reasons based on numerous others therefore clarification remains with their agencies. Various reasons this limits vary accordingly only across the timeframe so accordingly by these based only times involved accordingly among varying those accordingly these ones accordingly as varies through different conditions during those.
A4: Exchanges happen usually according only throughout official banking times at these official branches only; so that any exchanges or any verification regarding dealing only happen in official operation accordingly under working times only therefore consistent accurately along those conditions involved consistently. Also usually various based others based among certain types therefore consistent forms accordingly also across verifying processes involved across others factors based among various among consistently with their official policies.
Q5: The fees usually don’t affect various levels; as fees based only across quantities however across all those vary those as based only among this however often among all this therefore clear remains consistent ones among these so it will be among levels involved in quantities consistently alone rather others only depending entirely that those for across among consistently within their amounts during across times consistent only throughout depending only amounts total involved accurately and consistent all appropriately when handling total dealing across forms only always depending consistently entirely and uniformly consistent alone always on its totals given clearly without changing among them that remains consistently.
A5: The only usually consistencies involves quantities and no more usually no fees depending on any factors therefore entirely uniform among fees across entire forms unless specific situations or exceptional needs accordingly by individual branch based only on their regulations across consistently amounts dealing uniform levels consistently entirely uniform consistently entirely all consistently dealing so this uniformly consistent alone without other exceptions across totals involved only unless this situation applies and all consistently based on those levels however all consistent accordingly throughout involving consistently without variances in those total throughout uniformly consistently so only these total amounts remain involved to consistencies among those throughout dealing however among all remains uniformity without others among its total value across therefore consistently across them among those consistently uniform totals across those involved always depend throughout only amounts always uniformly across for those across during across entirely times uniformly always consistencies for their total amounts only uniformly unless for those exceptions clearly indicated among processes only therefore for uniformity completely uniformly accordingly among totals always for uniformity throughout among exchanges handling unless exceptions specifically at stated therefore this consistency of uniform among across values dealing with involving totals without variations across forms consistent among dealings always remains across that so always its processes among uniform those levels without variation along their exchanges unless specifically those mentioned clearly for those conditions uniformly unless among those for all however remaining so these involve consistency across those exchanges remain accurately on for these processes which involve across therefore involves uniformity across them among consistency unless stated ones consistently for only specified exchanges with situations and only among amounts during across all exchanges however consistencies accordingly for its exchanges so those uniform throughout their dealings so they involve consistently its amounts across those dealing all times only within involving those stated consistency those throughout uniform unless specific across handling its amounts however alone consistent across dealings during all across across consistent with these.
Summary
Exchanging old Indian currency has become mostly streamlined by banking’s modern streamlined measures as of very current circumstances involved; the methods above provide effective steps only toward its processes for conducting exchanges in an efficiently, successful and safe steps ensuring accuracy among their consistent official forms consistently in forms provided during transactions those among various branch conditions overall but will still however be different depending circumstances for various scenarios those therefore clarity consistently verified throughout accurately; using these precautions for ensuring effective exchanging successfully in processes ensuring safety so remain those consistent for security dealing and accuracy remains consistently achieved for those official forms consistently.
Share this guide with anyone who might find it is practical! Let us know in the comments if you have additional questions or successfully conducted exchanges processes for exchanges and leave a comments section with any suggestions among various situations overall at those points among various specific ones involving any processes among this or anything about these.
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netherfeildren · 4 months ago
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Busy, Dying. Part 1;
Series Masterlist
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Summary: In an in-between place called his life, Joel Miller is alone. In search of a cure. In need of a miracle. In want of God.
Can I interest you in a cure for loneliness? She'd asked him in a language without words. Taking it is the easy part. Letting her go is impossible.
-OR-
an a/b/o soulmates AU
Rating: Explicit 18+
Content Warnings: No Outbreak AU, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Soulmates AU, Infidelity, Cheating, HEA!!!!!, Angst, Fluff & Smut, Mating Bites, Knotting, Heat Sex, Breeding Kink, Group Therapy, Social Experiments, Basically puppy training for unsocialized Alphas, And by God that man will be house trained by the time she’s done with him!, Complicated family dynamics, Discussions of self harm, Depression, Existential Angst, Author returns not with a whimper but with a KNOT, I wrote this in a very unserious state of mind beware 
A/N: Gray November, I've been down since July - but we're so back, baby. I’ve missed this so bad. I’ve missed you all, I won’t drone on and on. I hope you enjoy, and please talk to me in the comments. Update me on what I’ve missed, let me know how you’ve been and what’s happening in your life.
A great heartfelt thank you to all of my wonderful friends who so supportively cheered me on while I struggled to write this. Sincerely the best people I know. 
Love you all madly.
Word Count: 6.5K
Read on AO3
Part 1;
The old linoleum tiles are the most peculiar shade of puce, and Joel has realized there is someone sitting at the back of the room who smells… strange. 
More brown than purple—an ugly color. There’s something about it that fascinates him.
The woman that is currently speaking tells of her husband; it’s the only tale she has to tell. She’s been doing it for weeks, and they all know it well by now. Older, omega, the woman, and at the latter and less comely stage of life. Most of them here can say the same. They usually give their names, those that get up to share—although it’s never a requirement when you attend, it is highly encouraged—the sharing, he means—but he never pays much mind to them—the names, that is. That’s not what he’s here for after all—to make friends. Although, he does see how that’d be the initial assumption. 
Joel Miller is here for something more specific.
Six weeks he’s been showing up to these things now, and he’s yet to take a turn. He tells himself he’s working up to it. 
What that specific thing is…he hasn’t quite figured out. He’s listening for it, though, and intently, even if he does skip over the names. It’s the details of what they’re telling that matter to him. The hows and intricate whys of what it is that brought them here today.  
Her youth had been spent on a drunk, the woman is saying—her husband—and he’d been cruel to her in those days when there was still currency to spend in the form of her vitality. Joel nods at the puce—yes, he thinks, that’s usually the way of it. But later, there’s more to the story she reminds her audience, he drank himself into a fit, and had never been right since. The cruelty had been taken away from the marriage after that, and she’d been put in charge. 
“But I wonder,” she says, “If sometimes I don’t miss it, the way he’d been,” —if the reason she was here now, with all of the rest of them that were just like her in their own unique ways, was that she’d been left lonely after her cruel husband had been exchanged for a sick one. 
Joel nods again and wonders what sort of face the woman wears as she confesses but doesn’t bother to check. No matter, he knows they’re alike. If not in designation, then in heart. 
It’s easy, that thing, he does it too, to wish for the bad. To want to hold on to it, the thing that hurts. Addictive, even, in some cases. Missing it is easy. 
It’s why he’s here. 
And it’s what they promise you. In their flyers and pamphlets, when they stand on the corners of streets talking people up wearing that look in their eye and that slouch in their step, when they smell it on you—or in the lack there of—a mate or a purpose.
Welcome to our meeting. We’re here to find the cure for loneliness. 
That’s what they promise you by coming here. 
It’d been that word: loneliness, actually, that had caught him. L-O-N-E-liness. There was something attractive about it to him. Not a label but a state. 
You see, it was like this: Joel had seen a therapist once, several years ago, against his will and at the behest of another, who’d said all the wrong things in all the wrong ways. 
“You sound depressed, Joel,” the therapist had told him. 
He’d worn horn rimmed glasses and had a shiny bald head he could see the reflection of the overhead lights in. And worse—the non-scent of a beta which told him they’d never understand each other in the ways Joel longed to be understood. He’d—not hated him, necessarily—but felt an immense apathy for the man; more so than the regular apathy he felt for most things in his life. 
“I don’t know what that means.” 
“Very, very sad,” was the official diagnosis.
Joel hadn’t liked the sound of the word. The label. He did not like that a word so succinct could be ascribed to him and all that had happened in his life. There was no word for it. It just was. 
But there was something different about a state of aloneness, which if attributed to himself, he could accept. He had been left alone, in ways. It was a tangible thing he could look around a room inside of himself and recognize. 
They’re meetings, is what this place is—encounter groups this coalition offers where lonely demi humans can come to congregate, discuss their aloneness, what had led them to such a state; their lack of attachments, connections, mates—alpha, omega. Held in the basement of the Emmanuel Episcopal Church on Newbury street—halfway mark between his shop and house—though they never talk about religion, which he likes because he doesn’t believe in religion. 
God’s still under review. 
He wonders if the Catholics wouldn’t have them. 
Sitting forward in his seat, the metal folding chair that always leaves his back aching something fierce, he presses his elbows into his knees to distract with alternative pressure. Focusing on his fingers woven together between his spread legs, he tries to pay attention to the man who’s stood up to speak now. Older than himself, late sixties, no children, no family, no nothin’; he’d run them all off. 
But Joel is distracted. 
The smell is stronger now. Stranger too. Something full bodied, but metallic like rust, astringent bleach, built in a way that forces saliva to pool heavy between his suddenly aching gums. A mask that sits atop something of a much different chemical architecture—that’s the strange part. 
Or—no. The back of his neck itches, and Joel lifts a palm to cup his nape, quell the sting, feel the tender mark. No. The strange part is not the illusion of the smell. What it is, actually, is that he’s fairly certain what he’s smelling is someone else's blockers. Something which he’s positive he’s never consciously noticed on another person in the thirty plus years since he’d presented as an alpha. 
He has, suddenly, the quite intense urge to peek over his shoulder, certain that he’ll be caught smelling things he has no business smelling. That there will be someone just there, breathing down the nape of his neck with accusation on their tongue—boo!
Silly. But he’d known today would not be a good day. 
It’d started off wrong. The milk had gone sour overnight, the check engine light had come on in his truck, all his socks were suddenly mismatched with not a single pair to be found, and his usual route to work had been waylaid by some freak accident. A maple tree split in half, one side into a house, the other into the road. Not a sign of lightning in the sky all night long. 
Perhaps he might be compelled to believe in God after all. 
Joel does not like it when things are out of order or out of the ordinary. His life was organized in a way that never caused him strife or excess. And it was not that he was stuck in his ways, only that he enjoyed his routine and disliked when things were not as they should be. And this—whatever it is he’s smelling, whoever—is not as it should be. 
The older gentleman, an Alpha too, is still speaking. He had a daughter—has—who no longer speaks to him. Won’t even take his money. He’d had a long career in government that’d filled him with greed and paranoia and a radical view of life that refused to align with the way young people saw the world now. Perhaps he’d tried to change at certain times, but he was old and set in his ways. Or maybe he hadn’t wanted to change as badly as he should have when he still had the chance to. Happily stuck in the past. His wife had died, and his daughter had gone away from him. Too tired of his mediocrity as a father to give him another chance. 
The man sounds like he feels sorry for himself. Like he thinks himself the victim, and this one, Joel does look up at. He looks old and worn down, heavy beer pouch and thinning hair and sagging jowls. A sad and lonely man. Joel wonders if that’s what he looks like to the other people in this room, as well. 
“No man knows how bad he is until he has tried very hard to be good.” 
Joel blinks, looks at him more closely, tries very hard to find similarities between themselves. But no—not quite right, not the thing he’s looking for. Their plight is different. This man is not alone, he’s got his weakness to keep him company. 
The one thing Joel had fought like hell to keep out of his repertoire of issues. He’d run from even the possibility of it as soon as she was dead, left Texas straight for the Northeast and from thereafter, everything he’d done, he’d done with a staunchness of character. If at the end of it, that staunchness was made up of apathy or numbness or dissociative fury, well, then at least he wasn’t still that man who’d been too weak to save his daughter. 
That counted very much in Joel’s book. 
An overabundance of cold numbness, little anger, everything a static haze—an abstinent winter. That was his whole life. But then, look at him now, he was here, wasn’t he? He’d taken that brochure handed to him on that last warm Tuesday afternoon weeks ago as he’d headed back to the shop from lunch. 
Hello, sir. Could I interest you in a cure for loneliness? The young omega had said. 
It’d started like anything—an experiment or a desperate ploy. The monotony had been steady going the past few years, getting older, colder. He’d grown hard and solitary around his wound, loneliness spread like a fungus, and he’d longed for any sort of change. 
“A cure…how?” The terrible shrink had come to mind.
“Oh, nothing to fret over.” The young man had a nice smile, Joel remembers. Kind and straight toothed. Honest in the way that a stranger knocking on your door to sell you a Bible seems honest. “We call it an encounter group. People come, share, tell the tales of their designation and their lives. In the end, the result is different for different people. Some move on to a second step if they need… more. Others find what they’re looking for just through the connection of sharing. But no matter the result, you’ll see, you’ll be cured. Promise.” He’d winked, smile deepening, giving him an appreciative once over at the end of his spiel. Joel had blinked back, surprised, confused, but curiosity peaked enough he’d obsessed over it for three short days before he’d found himself stepping into the molted incense smell of the belly of a church so dimly lit he was sure not even God peaked in this sad space any longer.
“It’s that easy?” Joel had asked, childlike in his throat-strangled hope.
“That easy.”
It seemed the smile had been honest enough to sell him the Bible. 
The scent insists upon itself as the older gentleman finishes up, and Joel’s nose tickles with whatever it is it’s whispering at him. He wants to get up and walk out, run away, but suddenly his gut is tight and hot, and he isn’t sure he can actually stand up without disgracing himself in front of all these people. A wash of agonized heat moves through him, confused at what’s suddenly happening to his body. 
“We’ve got a newcomer today, sharing for the first time,” Maria, the woman who leads the group, says at the front of the room. “Everyone give her a warm welcome, it’s her first day and already she’s brave enough to jump on up here.”
There’s the shuffling of bodies in their seats, a cleared throat, the man sitting behind Joel breathes so loudly he thinks there’s gotta be some sort of medical condition going on there, the puce turns more hideous by the second, and his own heart is beating so hard in his ears the rush of blood is dizzying. He feels each thump of the thing against his breast bone in some sick imitation of a fist begging to be let out. 
The new voice begins as nothing but a murmur. 
An introduction—he misses the name. His breathing goes shallow, he’d tip over in his seat if he didn’t have both boots planted firmly against the puce. The voice gains strength and with it, Joel wishes he’d been paying attention from the start. He didn’t get to hear her name. 
It’s a girl.
She’d run away from home in the spring of her sixteenth year to join the opera, she tells them. Had come upon the city in roaring spring and thought the rest of her life would be exactly like that, pure novelty in bloom, nothing like what she’d left behind. And was deeply disappointed when the reality was nothing such. 
And Joel hears it, that disappointment in her voice at what she’d not been able to find after searching for it so religiously. This is what makes him look up at her. This, unlike all the others, he thinks he can relate to—just by the sound of her voice. The search for a thing lost which can never again be found. The fruitlessness of it all. 
At that first vulnerable, terrified glance, she’s already staring at him, eyes catching like hooks. 
He blinks once, twice—color—is sure he can hear the movement of his eyelashes passing through the air, the stick of his lids meeting—color—bright. This is it.
That wash of heat turns into a blaze, every single bead of sweat blooming on his brow is a tell evaporating into the ether. This is what he’d sensed from the start of the evening. Maybe even from the moment he’d seen that split maple. 
“My mother always said I needed to be stronger, bolder, not so sensitive.” She looks away from him now. “I grew up in an angry house where you had to fight tooth and nail not to be overrun. Because of this, I left it at a very young age, and it was the greatest fight I could muster, abandoning that house of anger. I found myself something to bring me what I thought would be joy, a job and a city, and for a time, it was enough. But starting your lonely life so young…it’s hard.” After a pause of breath, “It’s been hard.”
“And it’s made me never want to have to—exert myself,” she says, searching for the right words, smiling when she finds them, and Joel has the urgency to smile back. “Now, I never want to have to be strong. I never want to have to try. I want to only be the way that I am. I don’t care. I don’t want to have to fight. I never want to be in an angry house again. I want someone who’ll see this in me and understand and never make me work for it, that they would give it to me willingly, easily, without me even having to ask. Do you understand?” She looks about the room, and he hopes her eyes will land on him again, and even though they don’t, he feels she’s speaking directly to him. He nods, the hook of her temptation cast beneath his chin. “This is a fantasy. And it makes for a lonely existence. This idea of how I need it to be for it to be right—love.” She looks down at her hands folded atop the podium where they go to stand at the front of the group and share, and Joel wills her gaze to find him amidst the crowd again. “It’s so difficult. And this might seem very bad to you, weak willed, but it’s not. It’s only very honest. Which can never be a bad way to be.” 
Finally, she looks back at him, and it’s that loneliness of two people amidst a crowd, facing one another, knowing themselves mirrored against the other and yet still disembodied. There’s something indecent about the way she looks at him in front of all these people, the way he, in turn, looks back. A little bit like finding your own face on a stranger's body in a crowded room. Color rises to his face, and she gives him that same elusive smile from before. 
He’s the one to look away first this time. 
As the crowd disperses for coffee and pastries after the last of the speakers, he searches for her. He needs to ask her name, feels as if he’s some blighted creature without it, swears he’ll never forgo attention during a meeting again if he can fish it out of her.
He finds her at the dessert table, Maria at her side and a hand at her shoulder. Something of a thank you is being imparted between the two women. The girl is saying she’s grateful for the welcome, grateful that they’d found each other. 
Joel has things to be grateful to Maria for, also. It’d been pure chance, really, that Joel had met her. That she happened to know Tommy. She’d met his brother on a summer trek to Wyoming where they’d become friends and had kept in touch afterwards. The woman has a thing about her that ingratiates people by sheer force of will. Perhaps it’s that she’s an alpha, too. Perhaps it’s just the charisma and wide smile. The fact she’s got a countenance about her that takes no shit from anyone, that makes demands of a person whether they’ve got any give or not. Whatever the case, she’d pulled the truth of his estranged brother from Joel’s mouth like teeth, made the connection to the man she’d met as a fly fishing guide in the Tetons. She was kind enough to keep Joel updated on his brother on the rare occasion he mustered up the courage to actually ask. 
She always made him ask. 
Watching the two women stand together and share that easy thanks that Joel so urgently owes, and yet which he cannot voice, he feels, suddenly, so angry. So awkward. So humiliatingly inexperienced. So unable to grapple with the pain of human contact, the fascination of it, the humiliating necessity. 
That decade old anchor weighing him in place and the guilt of even thinking of it as such. 
I feel decrepitly alone and odd, he thinks. And how strange, no? He’d been a normal man. He has a normal job. He lives in a normal house. Unexceptional in every sense of the word. Everything in his life had been ordinary up until that one great tragedy. And then, as if none of the before had ever existed, it was as if everything afterwards was one great landslide of wrongness. The filth of it slinging mud all over his life so that nothing had ever been right after her. 
So that now he cannot even approach this girl whose name he needs to know, and Maria, to whom he owes the last surviving connection to his brother to. 
As Maria turns to go, she gives him an encouraging nod, sending him into an agony of shyness, aware of his hovering. 
The girl remains at the dessert table, perusing the pastries. He can see her fingertips dancing over the golden, sugared confections, before she settles on a plain, glazed donut. He watches the bend of her elbow, bringing it to her mouth and thirty seconds later, the empty hand reaching for a napkin. He can’t help the huff of laughter it draws from him. 
Watching the unknown creature with her back turned, he peers down the length of himself. Wood stain marred t-shirt, old work jeans and scuffed boots, he’d come straight from the shop. Looking back at her, she seems perfectly packaged and neat. The two of them, different as chalk and cheese. He tells himself he shouldn’t do it, turn around and go, leave her alone, as he steps up beside her at the table. 
Immediately, there’s the heat of her skin, the smell of her shampoo, and he realizes, and it’s silly because it should’ve been obvious from the get go, she’s an omega. The epiphany, not that she is one, but that he’d been too stupid and oblivious to notice, leaves him feeling vulnerable and angry. 
Any sort of hello that’d been coming alive on his tongue immediately dies. And he’s about to make a run for it once again when she speaks up beside him, “Would you like a donut?” Her small fingers skip over the pastries, choosing once again. “I haven’t had one yet,” she lies, “I can’t decide which looks best.” 
The dancing hand pauses over a golden brown puff pastry, seemingly coming to a decision, when she turns to look up at him. The scent of her isn’t just shampoo, not just the blockers he’d shockingly picked up on before—sharp, burning his nose—it’s her skin now, too. The dry sweat from hustling under her coat to make it to her first meeting on time salted along her limbs. Hot, sweet almonds. The shocking vermillion of the morning’s split maple comes to mind. He can smell her.
“Puff pastry?” She presses, quizzical crook to her brow at his silence and glower. “I think you really need something sweet. It’ll make you feel better.”
He wants to agree, to say he also thinks he needs something sweet. But all he can manage is a short grunt because she smells…indescribable. Honeyed musk, something heady, like she herself had just got done baking, straight out of the oven and full of sugar into his waiting mouth. 
That earlier anger, it kicks up a notch. Why isn’t he fucking saying anything? 
She shrugs, as she lifts the puff pastry to her mouth he finally manages sound. 
“You stink.”
He doesn’t know when he became such a liar.
He does know when he became such an asshole. 
A pause: mouth open, straight, white teeth ready to bite into the fluffy sweet bread. He can see her small, pink tongue, and it makes him go a little crazier.
He might be losing his mind. 
She’s got elegant eyebrows that shoot straight up her smooth forehead. The look of her skin is glorious.
 “Excuse me?”
Now, there seem to be too many words spilling out of his mouth. “You need better meds or somethin’. Need to sort your shit out. Can’t go gallivanting around smellin’ like that.”
Oh god, shut up. 
“Excuse me!” She takes a huge bite of the pastry. “I do not gallivant,” she shoots back, mouth full of sugar and Joel goes hot everywhere. “What is wrong with you?” she demands, pursing that prim little mouth as she chews, eyeing him maliciously. 
He hasn’t the damndest clue. 
She is not wary of him in the slightest, which in turn tells him he needs to be wary of her.
Another large bite, inexplicably she extends her free hand towards him—potentially going into shock and entirely out of his depth when he takes it, the vulnerability of tendon and muscle soft beneath his strength—offering him a firm shake. She gives Joel her name. 
In that moment, she has a look about her that tells him she’ll bite back if he isn’t careful, even if she hurts herself in the process. 
And now he knows you. 
-
“We might as well acquaint ourselves if you’re going to insult me. Don’t you think?” 
Peering up at him, he’s tall, well over six feet, and broad shouldered. Older, distinguished, but in a rough way, hewn oak, gray.
 “Are you typically this rude? Or is this a special occasion?”
Incredibly handsome. 
“I’m being serious.”
“I do not stink. No one has ever said that to me, and my blockers are quality. It must be a you problem.” The puff pastry really is very good. And this man really is very handsome. Coming here today was a good idea. 
One of the girls from the theater had suggested it, handing you a pamphlet with Looking for the Cure for Loneliness? emblazoned across the top, and even though she’d done it kindly, any other person would’ve taken the implication as an insult. Hey girl! No offense, but we all in the company think you’re super weird and have you heard about this support group for losers? Kind of like Omegas Anonymous!
Those hadn’t been her exact words, and you hadn’t taken offense. After the initial humiliation, you’d warmed to the idea. You’d heard of groups like these before. Congregations of demi humans where one could come to find community or connection. Be it socialization or support for people struggling with their designations and all that they implied, they served their purpose. And anyways, you weren’t in a position to be nitpicky. 
It’s true, you’re alone. 
So alone, in fact, that even the people around you could tell. Strangers, coworkers, your roommate and her girlfriend. Like some noxious cloud of loneliness following you around virtue signaling the desperate need for love and companionship and understanding you’re so in need of. 
You increasingly saw yourself as a dancer on her toes, trembling delicately all over, vying desperately to survive to the end of the song. A monster with too many heads. A Cerberus of the most gruesome sort. 
Two or three would’ve been acceptable—heads—but you'd long surpassed that and moved on to something unrecognizable and unpleasant. Desperately in need of a solution. 
“Maybe you’re the one that stinks. Maybe it’s your upper lip.” 
“My—” The rude alpha, obvious, that one, lets out a choked sound, a deeper wash of color immediately flooding his cheeks. You dip your head sideways, appraising him as you polish off your second pastry. He has pretty bone structure, masculine but beautiful, and after he’s done choking and spluttering, he can’t help but laugh a little bit. You see it. 
Beneath a mouth that looks forbidding, perhaps even a little cruel, you can sense that he is not an unkind man. The laugh tells you so.
Yet you’re not so green that you can’t recognize the gnawing hunger of loneliness in others. That mimicking gleam. There’s always a reason people find themselves in places like these, after all. His face, edged with the weariness of age, makes this obvious. He has good reason for subjecting himself to this. 
Reaching for the lovely eclair you’d been deciding between earlier, you take a large bite of it. Almond cream and a thick layer of icing on top, humming happily as you chew while he stares at you like the three headed dog. 
You hold the dessert out towards him, offering. Palm up, he shakes his head no, slightly disgusted look on his face. 
“So. You come here often?”
He blinks. “Really?” Patronizing look on his face now. 
“Why not? I am actually interested to know if this is worth my time.”
He rolls his eyes. Oh, he’s fun. “Yes, I come here often. Every Friday, for the past two months, just about.”
“And you like it?”
“Is this the sort of place one likes?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You never know what you might find.” You think he watches your mouth as you finish chewing, swallowing hard. “Anyways, I think the world is kind of over out there. Don’t you? Might as well make the best of it in here.” 
Thumb pressed against the edge of the table, he looks down, suddenly going shy again. A shy alpha, who’d of thought. 
“What did you used to do?” He asks, motioning at the crowded room full of chatting alphas and omegas. You wonder how many of them will go home together for a fuck after this. 
“When?” 
“Before this place.”
“Before this place? Nothing.” You smile at him, certain he isn’t picking up on your teasing. 
“Nothing?”
“Nope. I’ve always been here.”
“But— Don’t you…I thought...” He’s cute, shaking his head, frustrated frown slashed across his face. “You sing, right?” He pivots. 
“Sing? Me? Whatever made you think such a thing?” The sly look on your face goes completely over his head and slides to the rest of the sweets. If he wasn’t watching, you’d have another. 
“You said. You said you’re in the opera,” he gruffs back, looking visibly aggravated now. 
Such fun. 
“I’m a supernumerary,” you concede as you turn, making your way to an old relic of a pew along the far wall, tragically abandoning the desserts. 
He follows as you go, sitting a respectful distance beside you. 
“I don’t know what that is.”
“We’re the actors that fill the stage at the opera.”
“No singing?”
You shake your head. “I’m a wench, I’m a courtesan,” You bat your lashes, flirting with him, fingertips pressed coquettishly beneath your chin, “Part of a harem. I’m every woman you’ve never known. It depends on the opera.”
“I’ve never heard of that before.”
“I started as a stagehand when I first got to Boston. Worked my way up.”
“How’s it work? Lines or somethin’?”
“No lines. No anything. I’m a background actor—an extra, basically. If anything, I’m given some simple choreography direction, laugh, sigh, show fear, horror, heart break. Whatever. I’m playing pretend without actually having to do anything.”
“No working for it.”
Your smile melts to blandness. So he’d been listening, then. 
“Did you want to sing?”
“No. I wanted to be a supernumerary.”
“Strange. I’ve never heard of that,” he repeats.
“You did say, yes.” Now, your smile turns auspicious. Everyone’s here for something. “What do you do?” Perhaps this is it for him. 
Your gaze flits over the crowd, at the far exit, there’s a large alpha helping an omega into his coat. 
“Got a shop, furniture, woodworking and such.”
“You make things?” He nods. “Ah, a man of creation.” 
Sitting back to take him in, he’s got the beginning insinuations of silver speckling the dark hair at his temples, a well groomed beard, and large, intimidating hands. 
His small huff of laughter is bashful, tinged with something disappointed. “No, nothin’ that grand.” And he’s got an accent heavy at the ends of his words, not Bostonian. Southern.
“But you know, I wanted to say…”
“Yes?” You press when he loses his courage, leaning towards him, inhaling deeply. 
“Well, that I know what you meant earlier. Sometimes I can be the angry house.”
You blink once. Sit back. “I see.” 
“It’s hard work. I have to try every day at it.” 
Being the house, or not? 
“How do you stop yourself?” You cast a line, fishing for his character.
“Don’t know. Keep myself cold, I think.”
“That’s no way to be.”
“No. It’s not.” He sounds amused. You want to bite him.
“Ah, well. Perhaps that’s what’s brought you here then,” you say, twisting the toe of your sneaker against a scuff on the old linoleum, leaning forward on your palms wrapped around the edge of the pew. 
“Maybe,” he says, but a sort of pained, exasperated sound follows it. Your hanging head turns to peer at the handsome face. He stares back. 
There’s something animal afoot. Perhaps in terms of designation, sure, of course, like the rest of the alphas and omegas here. Your designations weigh heavily in the air. But also intrinsic to your two personalities. You feel you know him. That the two of you might have the same sorts of problems, desires. And as you stare at him, you think you may be equally measuring each other’s character, finding that similarity in one another. Hook the line, hook the line, reeling each other in—
His eyes move quickly between yours, over your face, and you can tell that prolonged eye contact isn’t his norm.
He has the most surprising set of bright hazel eyes like river stones. 
Suddenly, you feel desperate to pull out a flicker of sexuality in the man, hear it in his voice. Watch that serious stoicism crack. Have him say clearly what it is he’s come here looking for. At the exit, the alpha and omega are gone now. —Certain that, with him, the experience could be entirely different, exhilarating. Perhaps a challenge. He seems to be more quiet and more patient than any other man you’ve ever come across, but also more stern, maybe…angry?—taking in that wide mouth held so firmly. Far more remote too, by the far away look in his gaze. You want to see how he could be moved and what the sight of it would look like. 
“Maybe not,” he finally continues. “I’m looking for something, I think.” 
Yes, tell me. “Something like what?”
“Someone like me.”
“An alpha?”
That was something, you knew, some people were interested in. The experience of being with someone of their own designation—that power struggle.
“No,” he looks away, cringing. Strange, the word out loud seems a shock to him. “Did you listen to the woman at the start—missing the bad thing? I struggle…with that. Holding on, not letting go even when I know I should.”
You’re at an age now which sometimes makes it hard to realize or accept that what you’re living is your life. That it’s been time to grow up. That you have to remember to move forward when it’s your turn in line. 
Which is to say, that you understand him—the difficulties of knowing when to hold on and when to let go.
“Sometimes you hurt yourself because you don’t have anything else to do. Sometimes, because the alternative is much worse.”
“Holding on ‘cause there’s nothing else to do?”
“Sure. Or you’re used to it.” 
You’ll be gentle with him, you decide. He’s in need of gentle handling despite the stern face; not a puzzle so arbitrarily solved. And those eyes are still so bright, he doesn’t seem like he needs any more hardship.
“Don’t know why I’m tellin’ you this,” he says, accent heavy. 
“Well you did come here for a reason. Didn’t you?” 
Discreetly, you slide closer to him, but he doesn’t notice. Apparently lost in the realization that perhaps this was what he’d come here for, to talk to someone, to have someone listen and relate. You’re almost positive he’s never gotten up to share with the group before in all his time coming to the meetings; doesn’t look like the type.
“I came here because I’m going to take better care of myself,” you tell him. “I’m going to try harder.”
“Harder at what? Thought you didn’t want to try?” He blinks as if attempting to come out of a dream.
You shrug. “Everything—I don’t know. I don’t want to end up like my parents; drunk, angry, alone. I’m scared of it. I’ve avoided at least two of them.” 
“I’m afraid of getting older.” The dream moves in his eyes. “That I’ll forget,” he says, but you don’t ask what.
All of a sudden, he seems very real. The swells of grief and loneliness moving through him so similarly, so close to the surface. It frightens you.
Springing up, you turn to face him and he follows to stand too. You can hear the crack of his knees unfolding, and when he lifts his left palm to stifle a gruff cough, the band of gold around his finger is paralyzing. 
All of a sudden, he’d seemed like what you’d been looking for here too. There’s laughter coming from the church rafters. 
“You’re a widower?” He wants to forget, he’d said he wants to let go. 
Hadn’t he?
But instead, “What? No.” You stare pointedly at the ring, and he looks down at it also. “No,” he repeats. 
“So’re you looking for a fuck, or what?” You try and hold back the bite it comes with, but you can’t. “A distraction?”
“No. No. That’s not what I’m looking for.” 
You don’t understand, impaired by your youth, maybe you’re not supposed to understand. “Maybe it’s what you need,” you tell him, turning towards the exit before you can watch him cringe.
He follows at your heels, grabbing his coat from the hook by the doors before he’s stepping out after you into the fall blister. It’s cold and wet and glorious out. 
“Don’t you have a coat?” He demands.
“Nope.” You start walking towards Arlington Street and the park. 
“Did you walk here? It’s freezing out.”
“I did,” you turn back towards him, still moving, and he starts to follow. 
“From where?”
“Downtown.”
“Where?” He scowls at your uncooperation, the married man. Alpha. 
The truth is, he’d kind of stunk to you too. Maybe in a good way. Like no one ever had before. As glorious and shocking as the cold. Like if snow had a scent. 
Disappointment churns in your gut alongside the excitement of watching him follow you.
“I don’t think you know it.”
Your backward walk is interrupted as a hurrying stranger bumps into you, sending you staggering. Watch it, the Boston snark spits. The alpha turns to scowl, heavy boot forward like he’s half a mind to follow after the person you’ve just inadvertently assaulted. 
And it occurs to you, “You didn’t tell me your name.” How silly of you. You’d been so distracted you’d forgotten to ask, and what if you never see him again after this? What if you can’t muster the courage to come back again next week? What if he can’t?
“It’s Joel.” 
You think it sounds right. 
“I might—know it,” he insists—you smile at the dog with a bone. The disappointment pulses. “Is it far?” You shrug, looking over your shoulder. You’re going to lose yourself in the garden for a few hours, forget about him. “Why don’t you drive?”
“I like to walk,” you tell him, turning back. 
He looks at you like he doesn’t like the things you say much less the way you say them. Perhaps he can see the disappointment and is disturbed by the sight of it, but the possibility seems too altruistic. 
“You should try it sometime, Joel. You might like it too.”
His huge body seems to be shivering in the cold. 
“I think…” The look on his face has turned suspicious now. He takes a step towards you. “You’re very strange. And you’re very young. I don’t think we should be friends.”
Your heart gives a demanding thump.
 “We’re not going to be friends.” 
When you’d first spotted him in the crowd, the strangest feeling had come over you. A tug behind your belly button, a scalding heat at the back of your neck, at your wrists. Perhaps it’s merely imagination, the look of disappointment you think you see on his face right before you turn away from him to continue on walking. 
“And I’m not that young anymore.”
You’d known today was going to be a good day. Extra cinnamon in your latte, a late start to your morning, warm in bed, no rain in the sky despite the cloud cover. And your director, late for rehearsals after some freak accident had befallen the roof of his house.
“That’s what all young people say.”
Part 2;
Netherfeildren's Masterlist
Updates Blog
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noble-kale · 5 months ago
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Eman Abdelrahman, @emiiii980, (#213) is a 25 year old Sudanese who has tragically lost her home when the RSF has bombed it on June 24th, 2023. Not only she has lost the place she has grown up in, but her younger brother has been martyred. Grieving over the loss, Eman and her family moved into her relatives' house, but they could not support her, so she decides to rebuild her home!
In May 2024, she has brought 20K bricks, a refrigerator, and kitchen utensils. Unfortunately, the city Eman and her family intend to move in has been bombed by the RSF! Then, in July, the situation has gotten worse. The RSF closes in on Eman's location, so she needs to evacuate ASAP! Eman has been asking for our help, but donations would trickle in little by little or stop completely.
Now we are in November. The window to evacuate has diminished all because the Sudanese pound has inflated. So we are back to square one again. Eman wants to rebuild her house once again! So let's help her achieve the short-term goal of 37K in the next 3 days! 36,007 CHF has been raised. There is 1,993 CHF left to go!
My friend has given 5 CHF, and you can match her! But you are more than welcome to give more. You can also participate in the book raffle hosted by @/magnus-rhymes-with-swagness if you show your proof of donation!
(Make sure to pay attention to currency exchange! $10 USD = 8 CHF!)
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oldcurrencyexchange · 1 year ago
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Irish Coin Daily: Confederate Catholic Shilling - Counter-marked on a base Shilling of Elizabeth I
Date: 1642-43 Kilkenny (Rebel) Money (counter-marked twice) to denote a Shilling on a base Shilling of Elizabeth I Description: Kilkenny Rebel Money Shilling; issued by the Catholic Confederacy of Kilkenny from 1642-43 and counter-marked on a base Shilling of Elizabeth I (her first issue of base coinage for Ireland, in 1558); the counter-mark is struck on either side of the monarch’s bust in the…
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prokopetz · 1 year ago
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The hostility many contemporary self-styled "old school" Dungeons & Dragons players have toward the idea of a game with clearly stated design goals is so weird to me because, like, D&D has historically been one of the most over-explained games on the planet.
Just from glancing over the books I happen to have within arm's reach at the time of this posting, the equipment chapter in the 2nd Edition Dungeon Master's Guide cold opens with an essay titled "A Short History of Commerce", which at one point digresses into a discussion of international currency exchange in the Byzantine Empire. The Monstrous Manual defines the words "sporophyte" and "gametophyte". The Player's Handbook devotes two solid pages to teaching the reader how to visually distinguish among eighteen kinds of polearms. Do you wanna know what the difference between a guisarme and a guisarme-voulge is? Too bad – you're gonna learn!
"Old school Dungeons & Dragons isn't supposed to lecture you about its design goals" yeah, tell me you started with 3rd Edition without telling me you started with 3rd Edition.
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samerpal · 5 months ago
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🚨⚠️ Warning ⛔️ ‼️
Dear friends, I want to inform you that I have closed the previous fundraising campaign due to difficulties with the old account and its Swedish currency. 💵
I decided to halt my previous fundraising campaign due to the immense effort it required, unfortunately without the desired effectiveness. This was largely because of the challenges related to the currency exchange process
My friends, I am now turning to you, in need of your support in this new campaign. Your unwavering dedication, endless encouragement, and heartfelt care for me and my family mean the world. Thank you deeply for standing by us.”
I have now created a new, 🆕 more accessible account to help us continue gathering the support we desperately need.
I kindly ask for your help in spreading the word about our new 🆕 campaign, supporting me and my family in reaching a place of safety.
♥️Thank you from the bottom of my heart.♥️
♥️🍉🇵🇸🍓♥️🌹🍉🇵🇸🍓♥️🌹🇵🇸🍓♥️🌹🍉🇵🇸
🌹“My friends, I need your help updating the link to my new fundraising campaign. I would be grateful for your support.”🌹
@dlxxv-vetted-donations @a-shade-of-blue @aces-and-angels @nabulsi @90-ghost @tamamita @heritageposts @heritage-post @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @aria-ashryver @punkitt-is-here @jezior0 @ibtisams @sar-soor @sayruq @soon-palestine @i-am-aprl @palestine-button-reminder @appsa @mangocheesecakes @feluka @palipunk @plomegranate @commissions4aid-international @mysharona1987 @myceliacrochet
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theapollochronicles · 3 months ago
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Silco x Vastaya reader 🥺👉👈 pretty pls ty
didn’t give me much to work with but hope you enjoy! you’re one of my firsts requests :D @theberserkerwithin
𝐄𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 | 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐜𝐨
“You can't buy this fineness
Let me see the heat get to it
Let me watch the dressing start to peel
It's a kindness, Highness
Crumbs enough for everyone
Old and young are welcome to the meal,”
pairing: silco x gn!vastaya!reader
summary: silco was a promising man with a demanding position in the undercity, but he had a hard time showing his true emotions to the people around him.
warnings: teen!jinx x reader (platonic), takes place before season one, mentions of violence (if you squint), smoking, some fluff & angst.
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The hum of the fish tank filled Silco’s office, blending with the quiet creak of wooden beams overhead. You leaned casually against the desk, arms crossed, while Silco sat in his chair, reviewing a pile of reports. Your cat-like ears twitched as a faint creak sounded above you—a familiar presence settling into the wooden beams that crisscrossed the ceiling, but neither of you acknowledged her yet.
“She’s been up there for the past ten minutes,” you said under your breath, glancing upward.
“I’m aware,” Silco replied without looking up from his papers. “She likes to imagine she’s invisible.”
“I am invisible!” Jinx’s voice rang out, cutting through the stillness. Her legs dangled into view from the wooden pillars above, her tone both playful and defensive.
“You’re as invisible as Sevika’s temper,” you retorted, earning a low chuckle from Silco.
Jinx groaned, leaning down further so her head peeked into view. Her light blue eyes gleamed with mischief, but there was an underlying earnestness to her gaze. “I’m observing. That’s important, right? You always say I need to pay attention.”
Silco’s pen paused mid-stroke, his mismatched eyes shifting to the girl above. “Paying attention doesn’t mean lurking, Jinx. If you have something to say, come down and say it.”
She hesitated for a moment before swinging down, landing lightly on her feet. Straightening up, she adjusted her posture, trying to appear taller, older. “I’m not a kid anymore, you know. I can handle the serious stuff.”
“You’re growing up,” you agreed, your tone gentle. “But that doesn’t mean you can skip steps. You have to earn trust if you want to take on more responsibility.”
“I can earn it,” she insisted, her voice firm but laced with vulnerability. She looked between you and Silco, seeking approval. “You and Silco trust me, don’t you?”
Silco leaned back in his chair, studying her. “Trust is not a gift, Jinx. It’s a currency. And like any currency, it must be guarded carefully. You’ve proven yourself before, but you’ve also been reckless.”
Her expression faltered briefly, but she quickly masked it with a grin. “That’s because being careful is boring. And boring doesn’t get results.”
“Recklessness doesn’t either,” you countered. “Look, you’re creative. Smarter than most people give you credit for. But you have to show them you can channel that energy the right way.”
Jinx shifted, crossing her arms. “You sound like her.”
The room fell silent at her words, the weight of the unspoken name heavy in the air.
“Vi isn’t here,” Silco said evenly, his voice a quiet warning.
“I know that!” Jinx snapped, her expression a mix of frustration and hurt. “I don’t need her! I’ve got you. I’ve got Y/N.” She turned to you, her voice softening. “Right?”
You stepped closer, crouching slightly to meet her gaze. “You have us,” you said gently. “But you don’t have to prove anything to us, Jinx. We already see how much you’ve grown.”
Her shoulders relaxed slightly, but her gaze remained determined. “I want more than that. I want everyone else to see it too.”
“They will,” you assured her. “In time.”
Silco watched the exchange in silence, his expression unreadable. Finally, he spoke, his tone measured. “If you want to be taken seriously, start by handling smaller tasks without complaint. Prove you can follow through, and I’ll consider giving you more.”
Jinx blinked, surprised, but nodded. “Okay! Deal.”
“Good.” Silco leaned forward, returning his attention to the papers on his desk. “Now go. Sevika is waiting for you.”
Jinx wrinkled her nose. “She’s so bossy.”
“She’s capable,” Silco corrected, not looking up.
Jinx muttered something under her breath but gave you a quick smile before heading for the door. As she reached it, she paused, glancing back. “Thanks, Y/N.”
“Always,” you said with a small smile.
Once the door closed behind her, the room fell quiet again. Your ears straightened, turning to face Silco.
“You were a bit soft on her,” you teased lightly, crossing your arms.
“She’s determined to grow up too quickly,” he said simply, though his voice softened just slightly. “I won’t push her, but I also won’t let her stay a child forever.”
“She doesn’t have to stay a child,” you replied, moving to lean against the desk again. “But she needs to feel safe enough to grow.”
Silco didn’t respond, but his gaze lingered on you for a long moment before he returned to his work, the faintest smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
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The air in the Chem-Barons’ meeting room was heavy with tension and smoke. Silco sat at the head of the table, his usual composed demeanor a stark contrast to the chaotic personalities around him. You stood to his left, leaning casually against the wall with your arms crossed, your large, cat-like ears twitching occasionally as you listened to the barons’ chatter. Sevika stood on Silco’s other side, her imposing figure a silent warning to anyone who might think to challenge him.
The Chem-Barons discussed logistics, turf disputes, and shipments of shimmer, but the underlying current of mistrust was palpable.
“I’ve got to ask, Silco,” Finn finally spoke, leaning back in his chair with an exaggerated smirk. His tone was as casual as his words were calculated. “Why bring your lackeys here?” He gestured lazily at you and Sevika. “Do you need them to hold your hand, or are you just showing off?”
The room fell silent. Sevika’s jaw tightened, her cybernetic arm whirring faintly as her fingers flexed. Your ears flicked toward Finn, though you didn’t move from your spot against the wall.
Silco didn’t respond immediately. He leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers rhythmically against the armrest as his mismatched eyes fixed on Finn.
“Careful, Finn,” he said at last, his voice calm but laced with venom. “You’re beginning to sound like someone who thinks they’re irreplaceable.”
Finn chuckled, clearly trying to play off the tension. “Oh, come on. I’m just saying, it’s interesting, isn’t it? You trust them enough to bring them into our space, but not enough to speak for themselves.”
Before Sevika could step forward, you placed a hand on her shoulder, a silent gesture to keep her in check. Your sharp gaze locked onto Finn, your cat-like eyes narrowing.
“They don’t speak because they don’t need to,” Silco said, his voice dropping to a dangerous low. “When they act, they leave no room for discussion. You’d do well to remember that, Finn.”
Finn’s smirk faltered, the weight of Silco’s words settling over the room.
“Let’s move on,” Silco said curtly, dismissing the conversation and returning his focus to the papers in front of him.
The rest of the meeting continued without further incident, though the tension remained thick in the air.
Later, back at the Last Drop, the silence in Silco’s office was almost deafening. You leaned against his desk, arms crossed, watching him as he stood by the fish tank, the dim light casting long shadows across the room.
“Finn shouldn’t have tried anything,” Silco said suddenly, breaking the silence. His voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it that you recognized all too well. “The man has a penchant for testing boundaries, but that was… reckless.”
You tilted your head slightly, your ears flicking as you regarded him. “You handled it.”
“Not as much as I wanted to,” he admitted, turning to face you. “I could’ve said worse. Should’ve, perhaps. But meetings like that require… restraint.” He spat the last word like it was poison.
You smirked faintly, the tip of your tail curling as you watched him pace. “That restraint is what keeps the Chem-Barons in line. Finn likes to provoke, but he doesn’t understand the cost of pushing too far. You do.”
Silco stopped pacing, his gaze settling on you. For a moment, the tension in his shoulders eased, and the sharpness in his expression softened just slightly. “And yet, I find myself tempted to forget that cost when it comes to you.”
The admission hung in the air, heavier than the silence that followed. You blinked, your ears lowering slightly as you processed his words.
“I can take care of myself, you know,” you said, your voice softer now.
“I know,” he replied, his tone uncharacteristically warm. His gaze flickered to your ears, his mismatched eyes briefly betraying something deeper. “But I won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting what’s mine.”
The room seemed smaller in that moment, the space between you shrinking despite neither of you moving. You held his gaze, your tail flicking absently.
“Yours, huh?” you said lightly, trying to cut the tension.
He smirked, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “In every way that matters.”
You allowed yourself a small smile, stepping away from the desk and brushing past him toward the door. “Good thing I don’t need you to fight my battles. But… I don’t mind you trying.”
His gaze lingered on you as you left the room, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. Once the door clicked shut behind you, Silco returned to his desk, his composure restored, though his thoughts remained far from the shimmer trade.
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lethalchiralium · 4 months ago
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I Will Think Of You As I Surely Drown | Happiness Series
a/n: a huge thank you to my lovely editor, @as-is-above-so-below
warnings: mentions of trauma, therapy
summary: Healing is a journey and you're finding your footing on what seems to be a frozen lake, while Simon deals with what it means to break promises.
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When you woke up in the hospital, you felt frozen. Time moved around you, things happened quickly, and words were exchanged faster than currency. The IV in your arm hurt, pulsated with every heartbeat, and your hands sizzled with a faraway pain. Your head felt like a block of ice, and your belly and back pulsated with a dull ache; your throat throbbed, the air being sucked out of your lungs and forced in, and then the sight of Lloyd’s face. Or rather, what you thought was Lloyd. You couldn’t help it–he was all you saw in your head while you slept. God, how long were you sleeping? It didn’t matter, your not-so-heavy hand found the bed remote and pressed the call button more times than you could count.
The figure beside you stood quickly, ducking away from the bed and some breed of fear clawed its way out of your stomach to bash its way into your chest. The shock had left as fast as it came when a squeal escaped you, the red-hot, constricting discomfort of fear encompassing your chest. You could feel your body fighting the breathing tube in your throat, so you could take in more air, hyperventilate. Because, how could he be here? He’s dead, you killed him, his face bashed in for everything he fucking did to you and could have done to your baby and everything you–
The overhead fixture flooded the room with harsh, fluorescent light, and that’s when you could see the perpetrator - but it wasn’t him at all. In a thin sweatshirt, an old pair of sweatpants, and a heavy set of eye bags, was Simon. Not Lloyd. He was dead. It was your husband, your Simon, your protector. 
Tears fell from your eyes, and even as new bodies invaded your view, your beat-up hand reached for him instinctively. The ringing in your ears forced you to rely on your whines as the nurses tended to you, taking the breathing and feeding tubes out, and checking your pulse and blood pressure. Your eyes stayed on Simon. His face looked sunken in, hair greasy, almost plastered down to his scalp. He was paler than usual, his eyes red, hands fidgeting as he cried. Your beating heart cried out for him; the second your mouth was free from the tubes, you tried to speak, but only a broken squeak escaped. The nurse moved out of the way and he was back at your side in a second, hands hovering over where they’d usually hold your face. The heave in your chest as you cried only made him shy away more. 
I need you. I need you to hold me and tell me everything's gonna be okay.  
But he doesn’t. He had no words. Not in his heart or his brain. Nothing but sobs and kisses to your unmarred cheek, and his nose pressed into your hair. 
How your brother looked at you when Simon brought him in made tears roll faster than ever. It was a look you’ve only seen once - when you broke your arm playing soccer as an eight-year-old. It wasn’t your fault; a girl had shoved you and another trampled over you, breaking it just a few inches from your wrist. Any closer and it would’ve fucked your ability to write. Jake sprinted across the field and picked you up, telling you it would be okay, even though his eyes were full of tears that matched yours. 
He settled in a chair beside you, opposite Simon, petted your head, and wiped your tears away with his thumb. In all of your years of following him around, always worried about getting in trouble or getting hurt, nothing had ever changed - he was still your comfort, the person you trust to take care of you when you’re hurt, and you knew that he would protect you with everything he had.
That comfort did nothing to lessen the guilt that plagued you once you realized you were happier to see him than Simon. 
“Didn’t mean to be late. I didn’t know you were awake.” He rubbed the bed just parallel to your arm. “How are you?”
“She can’t talk much,” Simon spoke quietly. You looked over at him. His eyes were irritated, his hair disheveled, and he held your finger left out of the cast. At least he was saving you from having to speak, talking hurt more than you cared to admit. You couldn’t tell them how you felt, what happened, or describe the flood of broken pieces on the shore that was your mind. 
Jake hummed in acknowledgment, your eyes fell on him. “Well, I’m glad you’re awake, and that you’re okay.” The feeling of Simon’s head against your thigh was normal to you now, the crown nestled just beside your knee, and you couldn’t help but raise your hand then lay it on the back of his neck. Jake watched with a tired gaze before he spoke your name. “I’m staying to help you as long as I can. With the kids, and you. Just until you don’t need me.” 
“Price is staying too,” Simon rumbled, and your heart stung again. Something akin to anger nestled there at the mention of the captain. Not at him, but more towards Simon - all you wanted to see when staring up at that cloudy sky, wounded and bleeding, was Simon, but you got John instead. 
“Thank you.” The whisper left your lips before you looked back at the TV, desperately fighting the disappointment in Simon. Jake nodded to himself in the corner of your eye, and Simon’s chest slowed to steady breaths as he finally found sleep for the first time since you woke up. 
You wished you were little again, back when you could pretend everything was okay by just forgetting about the pain; lying about whether you cried or not. Pretending you didn’t have nightmares. Lie and pretend. Lie and pretend. 
Easier said than done.
“I don’t want to be here.”
“But, you need to be.”
“You aren’t even a normal civilian therapist. All you’re gonna do is parrot everything I say straight to Price and get Simon in trouble.”
The woman took her glasses off, then moved the plastic clipboard from her lap before she leaned forward toward you. The blanket on your lap barely did anything to keep you warm. Curled as much as you could on your wheelchair, you watched the therapist in her blouse and slacks as she examined you like an organism on a petri dish beneath a microscope. 
“This is a safe space for you. It doesn’t seem like it, but it is. Kate Laswell specifically made sure you could meet with me right away. These appointments fall under HIPPA.”
“But you’re still military. This is for their record of what happened, so they can play accountant for the money they spent to save me.”
“This is your third appointment, and you just now have an issue.”
“I’m only here because it makes Simon feel better.”
Marli - the kind, indifferent therapist - looked at you with such…you couldn’t place it. It wasn’t sympathy, it wasn’t anger or bitterness or disgust, it was…your foggy mind couldn’t produce the word. 
“You’re not here because you want to be.” A statement. A correct one, but it stung to hear. 
“No.”
“And you’ve said multiple times that you don’t want Simon to hear or read the transcripts. Or Captain Price, or Sergeant MacTavish.“
“Only Gaz. If you have to give someone the report, Gaz.” 
“Only Sergeant Garrick, because he’s not as close to Simon.” 
“He’s close, just…” You sighed. “Kyle keeps secrets just fine. Soap’s a blab and Price…I don’t want his best friends to hear what happened and tell him. I don’t even…I don’t-” Your hand moved slowly to rest on your chest, below your collarbone, and above your heart. You applied pressure there with your fingertips. A comforting touch, something to stop the pain you get in your lungs when you start to think about what happened. “I know it’s our third session, I know they were to get adjusted to you from the last girl, but today’s not the day to talk about it. It’s just not.”
She crossed her leg over her knee and adjusted the blanket on her lap, her clipboard still in her tight grasp as she leaned back in her comfortable chair. “That’s fine. We can start slow, and build up to some things. The original retelling we have from you is-”
“I am not doing that again. I’m not–I’m not telling another one of you what happened, okay? It’s not fucking happening today. I just want to sit here and answer your stupid fucking boring questions so I can pretend I’m not a victim! For one fucking hour!” Your free hand hit the armrest of your wheelchair, emphasizing your position, before you tugged your blanket up to cover more of your stomach. “I want to leave. I want Simon. Tell him to come get me, I want to go home.”
Marli sighed, nodded, and placed her blanket and clipboard on the low side table beside her. She looked at you, as you looked away from her, focusing on the small fish tank again. “You won’t be leaving a session early after this. In our next session, we will be talking about the event. Prepare yourself.”
You waved her off as you watched the blue fish slowly peck at the glass that enclosed it. 
Everything is normal in your house. In your bathroom. Your husband washed your hair and ducked out to get your clothes, but you still needed to brush your teeth.
Normal. Normal things for the Riley household. 
The sound of clicking in your subconscious seemed to scratch at a wiry pocket in your brain, digging with dirty fingernails, the itch so deep that the sensation made you nauseous. You reached for your toothbrush with your dominant hand, your bad hand, but you shook your head and grabbed it with your sore, uninjured hand. Pinky and ring finger curled, grasp so flimsy that a breeze could throw your yellow toothbrush from your palm. A sharp pain radiated in your index finger, pulsing at the same rate as the click in your head. Click, click, click, click, click. Your eyes finally fell upon your task, seeing your swollen hand; stitch holes, and jagged, healing scabs from where you shredded the top of your hand on the stone and Lloyd’s face.
Lloyd. 
Your eyes stayed open, stung with every short breath of air from the fan and tears. If you blinked, you would be back in that basement, the sound of the sink running to hide Mellie’s crying, and your screams for Lloyd to get away. 
Click, click, click, click, click. 
A short rap at the bathroom door made your head snap to the left. Your heart stammered when you saw Simon, your clothes in one hand and a worried look on his face. He wasn’t good at hiding his emotions, but he tried. You wanted to let yourself fall into the overwhelming fear, let yourself scramble away and scream until he left you alone. You wanted to scream and cry until you couldn’t anymore, like you did two days before. You wanted to wallow in silence; sit in your bathtub, press your broken cheekbone to the cool porcelain, and knees to chest until you disappeared under the lip of the tub. 
In your need for solitude and overwhelming misery, only anger answered the haunting clicking in your head. Click, click, click, and your toothbrush was thrown to the floor, tears welled in your eyes. Unwavering rage climbed out of that stringy, tangled pocket of your mind and filled your body with a buzz. Simon was quick to stay in your sight and keep his hands near himself. 
“What do you need?”
A shovel and a baseball bat. One to dig Lloyd up, and the other to beat the shit out of his fucking corpse, because he deserved more of a beating than he got. He deserved to have his skull crushed even more, messy chunks splattered across the ground like a pumpkin. Lloyd has to be rotting in Hell, that is what you need to hear. You need his face to stop morphing onto Simon’s, and stop being plastered on random faces. You need the nightmares to stop, or something to escape them. Maybe a cigarette. Or an edible. Or a bottle of tequila. Or a large bottle of wine, or three. Escape reality for just a minute, a time when you’re not bordering on a panic attack in the bathroom where you miscarried your son, or being pitied by your brother and your husband, or unable to hold your children. All you need is to tuck their heads of curls into your chest. Take the jagged pieces of yourself and hide them away from the clicks and anger, just to save them from the flood. 
You’ll have to find the words sometime. It’s easier to conjure them for a stupid therapist that you don’t know than it is to scavenge them for Simon. There’s not much to say to your husband and nothing to say to the son of your…attacker.
Attacker. Let’s go with that. 
“Honey, what do you need?”
A breath rattled your pain-wrapped chest. “A cigarette.”
He huffed a chuckle, and his left hand grabbed your sleep shirt. An old, worn shirt of his with a faded Metallica logo on the front, well-loved by him, and then you. You’ve worn it for two years, the majority of your relationship, and it’s one of your favorites. Holes in the sleeve, and threads loose at the bottom so the hem is a little fucked; you weren’t sure why, but you pushed it away. With your bruised and swollen hand, not the cast one. 
Why not the cast? You pushed everything away with it—the stuffed animals, the blankets, the physical contact from anyone but your children. Why the sudden change? Did something turn in your brain when you saw the black t-shirt, the comfort of it? Did it no longer serve its purpose as a comfort item? Your bruised hand shoved at the pants and the underwear, and your stomach finally caught up to your brain - nausea settled in your cheeks like magma. The feeling of anything on your skin felt like a death sentence, the feeling of the bathtub against naked skin sounded like a grace of the angels, and why did you keep crying when the anger seemed to disperse like mice?
None of it made sense. 
You hated the look in Simon’s eyes. The look of confusion, of worry. He doesn’t need to be confused about this. You can do what you want. You’re allowed to be angry and upset and push away clothes that make you want to puke your guts out into the sink. 
Click, click, click.
If he could stomach leaving you, abandoning you, then he’d have to stomach this too. Him not being there, having broken his promise to keep you and your children safe. 
Your eyes followed Simon as he kneeled, picked up every article of clothing, then placed them back on the sink. His eyes observed your face, your eyes, and he took a half step back. “M’gonna change Mellie. Yell f’me if you need help getting dressed.” He was gone the moment after, the bathroom door pressed into its latch with a deafening click, and you were left alone again. 
Click, click, click. 
A warm sensation started in your chest, nestled deep in your sternum and came on as suddenly as it moved around your body, enveloping you. It made you want to remember, but you could not place the sound from where-
You had observed the basement door’s lock had to be jiggled around to be unlocked. There were usually three clicks when unlocking the door, followed by the henchmen talking or Lloyd appearing at your bedside. He would sit, hand on your knee as he spoke with an even tone about your life, his intent for you and your infant. The life you’d live as a trafficked woman, and how Mellie would be sold off to a wealthy family. The way he crooned about how you’d never see Winnie or Simon again, how he constricted your body to the bed with that fucking smile and-
A thud came as you fell to your knees, a warbled cry escaping your lips as your plastered hand settled on the rim of the sink - the free fingers curled around the edge. The soft cotton of what was once your favorite shirt grazed your fingertip, and disgust roared its nasty head in your stomach. 
What do you need?
Click. 
Your shaking lungs finally freed a breath you didn’t know you were holding, as you allowed yourself to melt onto the white tile floor. You don’t remember the last time you mopped - or much of anything - but it didn’t matter. There wasn’t an inch of you now that could care about germs, about the grime growing in the corners and crevices; only about how soothing the cool surface of the tiles felt. 
Half of your forehead pressed against the floor, you exhaled, and exhaustion sunk its claws deep.
Simon returned only a couple minutes later, his warm hands covering you with the softest blanket he could find before he settled himself in the doorway. When you woke up from your nap, he planned to help you back to bed. It was easier to keep an eye on you and his babies from the threshold. Winnie was still sleeping peacefully on an air mattress, covered in blankets at the foot of his bed, and Mellie finally nestled into a corner of her pack-and-play; Simon watched her nod off before he looked back at you. 
He wanted to reach out, stroke your face, fix your hair, but he didn’t. His hand sat limply on his lap.
Coward. Coward, coward, coward.
The nightmares only get worse as the days go on. Comforting you is easy.
But comforting Mellie? If Simon were a softer man he would’ve crumbled into dust. Holding his infant as she screamed, little fists hitting his face and chest, the endless wailing - feet kicking his stomach; he was sure that if he had eaten anything yesterday, her kicking would’ve made him sick. He gently rubbed her back, his cheek against her temple as she thrashed, exhausted and scared. It made Simon want to combust. 
He hasn’t been able to get close to her in days; see her little brown eyes, button nose, her three little bottom teeth when she smiles. All he wanted was to comfort his child, but she wanted nothing to do with him.
A sudden touch to his shoulder and Simon jolted. Mellie’s cries intensified as he turned to see Price - a tired look in his eye but his arms out. That was the routine now; Mellie would wake up from a nightmare, and Simon would try to help, but ultimately hand her to Price, who offered to be their live-in aid until you and the girls got back on your feet. Simon didn’t waste a second handing his child off to her godfather, who calmed her in the time it took Simon to wipe his face and sit in the rocking chair. Anger simmered like a pot to boil, hot water scalding Simon’s body with burns he’d never heal.
He had faith in, trust, and love for his brother-in-arms. But that didn’t ease the burn of watching how easy it was for him to fix what Simon should have had the balls to. 
It was so easy for a man who had nothing to repair Simon’s broken family, the family he disassembled, and it made Simon want to throw punches at a brick wall.
He had everything and he threw it all away for the job.
He found solace in the punching bag at the base gym, wrapped hands, and a tense stance.
One, two.
One, two.
The bag swayed with every punch. No headphones this time; the gym was abnormally quiet in this corner. Everyone decided that Lieutenant Riley needed his space, especially since every rookie who even breathed near him got to clean latrines with their toothbrush. Or paint all of the gravel on base a nice, thick coat of white. There was peace in this corner - a man and a quiet sack of sand to keep him on his toes. 
One, two, a deep breath, and Simon sent another two punches, harder than the last. His eyes narrowed, balanced on the balls of his feet, core tensioned to hell, he was full of rage, guilt, and a sick feeling of shame. With every punch, his knuckles felt fire, and his soul didn’t feel any lighter. He tried to stay out of his head and punch the bag, but all he could see was his father, bloodied and on the floor after Simon’s punch put him there. One two. He could feel how punching Lloyd felt again, so hard that he thought he had broken his fingers. With every punch to the bag, he tried to figure out how you broke your hand. By a certain point, he understood. He also wanted to beat Lloyd’s face in until he couldn’t move, and wouldn’t again.
“LT.”
Simon punched the bag again. “She done?”
“Twenty more minutes.” 
“Then why the fuck are you botherin’ me?” One two.
Soap stood off to the side, hands in his pockets as he watched his friend. Simon ignored his presence briefly and threw harder punches, making the bag sway like a leaf in the wind. His stance was tense, and completely closed off; the man was ready to rip a hole in the bag. Soap approached him, but only to be in his field of vision. 
“Widen yer feet, LT.” 
“Fuck off.” One two.
“Widen yer feet. Ye'r too tense. Ye'r gonnae break yer hand.”
“This is not the time to be my fuckin’ friend, Soap.”
“Th' babies are cryin’ fur ye. So, finish up 'ere 'n'-”
The bag suddenly swung toward Soap. He pushed it back. Simon punched it again, harder, and Soap pushed it back again. 
“Brother, we’re gonnae help whether ye lik' it or nae, but th' girls want ye. And ye need nae goosed hands to take care of yer babies.”
Simon punched the bag with all his might, throwing his full weight into it. The bag hit Soap before he turned away, his fists and teeth clenched. He hustled into the locker room, grabbed his bag from the locker in the corner, and threw a sweatshirt over his sweaty t-shirt. He was prepared for Winnie to comment on his stench, for Mellie to cry the second he picked her up, and to see your full expression before he wheeled you to the car.
The therapy sessions were daily now. Jake had returned to the U.S. a couple days ago, and Simon had no one to watch the kids at home. The daycare on base was the only option. Winnie was too old for it, but he refused to let her go back to school, at least for another few days. She wasn’t ready yet. He just needed enough time for you to get on your feet, into a new normal, then Winnie could go back to school and be the social butterfly she always was.
He’s glad the daycare is nearby, he was silent when he signed out the girls, keeping Mellie close to his chest and a firm and gentle grip on Winnie’s hand. He was early, but he didn’t want to talk to Soap. He didn’t want to talk to anyone about this. The carefully wrapped bandage holding his anger together was close to ripping, the pain and shame of not being the one to protect you, to save you and Mellie was destroying him. A sick part of him didn’t want to fix it; let himself feel your pain and suffering as punishment. He was already riddled with guilt that he couldn’t protect you going forward, not from your mind; and ashamed that his teammates were living in his house, taking care of his kids while Simon focused on your care. 
He should be able to do this alone. He’d lost a lover and raised their baby alone, he’d suffered years of abuse alone, and he was sure he’d die alone too. 
Mellie’s whimpers softened when you’re wheeled out to him, her little hand reaching out for you, and you stretched to meet her. Simon placed your daughter in your lap like always, and your bruised arms wrapped around her. Winnie squeezed Simon’s hand. He looked at her, the messy ponytail and worried look on her face, and felt nothing but gut-wrenching shame in his belly.
“Let’s go, girls,” he said softly, letting go of Winnie to push your wheelchair. “We’ll pick up dinner on the way home.”
It’s the middle of the night and Simon hasn’t left your side in hours. Your fingers curled in his hair as you finally slept peacefully, his head cradled against your chest. The TV hummed with the sound of an action movie you put on for him, which he ignored in favor of laying beside you, just…being in your presence, feeling your chest expand, listening to your heartbeat. He rested his hand on your belly, hoping to feel some sort of moving from your newest addition.
That peace was all he wanted.
He hasn’t allowed himself that comfort since he sat beside you in the hospital for two weeks straight. Then, you were like crumbling paper, any unplanned touch would destroy you. 
Yet, here he was. Head on your heart, sleep nudging at his eyes – but he fought it off. He was conscious of his weight, only his shoulder and arm on you. It had taken two more weeks to get to the point where Simon could sleep with you. The air mattress fucked with his hip, but he refused to complain. Both of you danced around what happened, but he knew that what you went through was worse than he could ever imagine. He thumbed your belly as he daydreamed about the normal conversations you should be having. Names for the baby, suspicions about what the sex could be, what you wanted to do differently, what color to paint the nursery. 
He wouldn’t tell you, but he wanted another girl. He wanted to keep the nursery yellow and move his office into the basement so Mellie could have that room. He’d been eyeing a nice floor bed for her to transition to. He had so many plans, so many things he wanted to do, but he needed your approval. Craved it. Wanted you to get better, mentally and physically, so you could enjoy a pregnancy together, for the first time.
He wanted Mellie’s upcoming first birthday to be exciting for you, marking the end of your first year raising a baby. He wanted you to see Mellie without vicious memories attached, her cries whisking you away to a place in your mind that he couldn’t save you from. He wanted you to look at Winnie without fear of losing her. He wanted you to stop looking at him like he destroyed you, not his father. He wanted you to stop finding safety in Price and Alejandro and Rudy, the men who located and saved you. He wanted to be the person who rescued you; he wanted that closure, the ability to unload his magazine into his father’s head.
Simon wanted many things. Yet, he kept them in his head like all of his opinions about the situation - it’s shit. He hated seeing you and the girls in pain, and he hated Price and Laswell for keeping the kidnapping from him.
He wanted to toss and turn. He wanted to throw off the blanket, go out to the garage, and have a go with the punching bag for an hour. No gloves, no wrap; just knuckles, and canvas - sure, some tears, anything for the escape. There’s selfishness in want, craving so insatiable at times that he had to give pause. A silent moment to breathe, let his mind wander, and define his needs - you and the girls. Those were his only needs. His “wants” could fill a thousand pages, all ready to fire away with the strike of a match. 
A fingernail scraped against his scalp and a low sigh escaped his chest. His cheek nudged your chest before he mumbled, “G’back t’sleep.”
“Off.”
He was instantly detached from you, little bubbles of darkness edging his vision from the dizziness as he flipped onto his back. His arm was still settled under your back, unsure if taking it back was the right move until you let out a whine of pain, and then-
A sigh of contentment as your cheek nestled on his shoulder, good arm settled on his chest, your hand gripping his ID tags. His arm curled around your back and he kissed your hair as you grew drowsy again.
“Love you, my missus.”
A weak hum left you. “Love you, Si.”
Simon’s head dug deeper into his pillow, and his eyes fell on the TV for just a moment before they moved to you. He almost didn’t want to look, out of fear of spooking you away. Voluntary touch was nonexistent until this moment, and he didn’t want to risk its end. Simon watched the delicate movements of your chest as you breathed, the blanket still tangled in your bodies, and reveled in your cold toes pressed into the side of his calf. He kissed your hair again before his nose found residency there, and his eyes finally closed. If there was a sense of bliss to be found, it would be right there in that bedroom, with a husband holding his wife as she slept peacefully. 
“…concerning behavior from her, and we’re not quite sure what could have brought it on.” 
He gazed at his daughter’s face, the tears and snot that ran down it, and the shame that covered it. She was a Riley, facing danger head-on - she didn’t break her father’s eye contact. If he were his father, her ass would’ve been bruised the second he walked into the office. 
But he wasn’t his father. Instead, Simon’s child stood in front of him, crying, but not scared of him. She felt safe to do so, and it made Simon feel confused. He was proud yet ashamed of his child’s actions and the thought made his stomach twist. 
“We know you and your wife have had a difficult month. Winnie has been fine the last few days, but we just can’t get her to stop…”
Crying. Bursting into tears in the middle of a lesson, and hiding in the corner with the stuffed animals. 
Simon let his hand gently brush her hair from her face, her little body trembling as she cried harder. He was quick to pull her into his lap, let her tears drench his sweatshirt, and her little hands hold onto him for dear life. He kissed her hair before looking at the headmaster, softly saying, “I’ll be keeping her home for the rest of the week.”
The woman nodded. “I understand.” She waved a little at the five-year-old, “Have a good week, Ms. Winnie.”
Simon grabbed her princess backpack, put it on his free shoulder, and kept her close to his chest. He weaved through the front office, out of the building, through the front gate, and started their walk home.  Winnie’s forehead was pressed to his neck as he looked both ways on the street before he crossed, even when the crosswalk light was green. The occasional thought rattled around in his head, but nothing of substance. He bristled when the breeze whipped against her hair and his face. 
The winter was letting up, getting warmer the closer it got to Mellie’s birthday, but Simon couldn’t find cause for excitement. Not when his daughter was sobbing and whimpering on his shoulder, and not when his baby wailed so hard that she turned blue in the face, not when his wife was fighting a battle he could not see.
He is the lone light atop a rocky cliff, guiding the boats taking on water to shore. And the house that holds the light is burning to the ground.
“Daddy.”
A few more streets to cross and they’ll be home. Simon felt Winnie shiver a little, and he huddled closer to her. “Yes, duckling.”
Her teeth chattering made his heart break. Even with her warmest coat on, she was still freezing. “Is Mama - a bad person?”
Under the snow-topped trees of the park, Simon Riley stopped mid-step. He had been cataloging every person they walked past, every pram that bustled by, every tree that crackled with the sound of ice thawing. He threw caution to the wind, pulled Winnie’s head from his neck, and looked her in the eye, “Of course not. Why would you think that?”
She tried to tuck her head back down, but he made her look at him. She wiped the snot on her face with her sleeve. “You always say that good things happen to good people.”
Dammit. Good parenting, always biting him in the ass. 
He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little proud of himself, but he couldn’t deny how his heart burned with agony. 
“And bad things happen to bad people. Is Mama bad?”
“No. No, never in a million years is Mama a bad person.” His icy hand brushed her tears away, pushing down his fear, and spoke, “I am the bad person.”
“…You?”
He didn’t expect his nose to prickle, or his eyes to burn. “I’m the bad person that bad things happen to. My choices. I save the world, yes, but I have to do bad things to do it.”
“So…the bad people who took Mama and Mellie… did you-”
“No. I didn’t tell anyone to take them away. The people that I stop…they did that because they don’t like me.”
“But, Daddy, I think you’re a good person.”
Simon’s hand curled around the back of Winnie’s head, cradling it as he spoke even softer, “I know you do. Daddy is a good person. But when I wear the mask, when I’m Ghost…”
“Ghost isn’t a good person.”
“No, he isn’t, love. The bad guys made choices that hurt Mama and Mellie. And I’m trying to fix what they hurt.”
“So Mama’s not bad.”
He shook his head. “No. Just me.”
“No, Daddy’s good.” Her cold little hands settled on Simon’s cheeks, and his bleeding heart warmed just a little. “Ghost is bad.”
“Okay, duckling.” He pushed her hair from her face and some feeling of sickly sweet warmth nestled in his head as he memorized his daughter’s little face for the nth time. His smile, his eyes, his curly hair, everything he took from his own mother. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Winnie’s forehead before he rested his cheek there, eyes closed, “I believe you.”
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