#Except arguably maybe not that much of an idiot?

[cookie-nom-nom]

Idk about anyone else but I’m having a fun time picturing Ivan as the irresponsible captain Taylor.

[suzukiblu]

Ko-fi thank-you sentences for Plot Bunny; den mom Black Zero.

“You’re Kon-El’s age?” Wonder Woman says, looking thoughtful. 

“I said that, yes,” Black Zero replies in annoyance. He usually has a higher estimation of Wonder Woman’s intelligence than to need the obvious restated, but it could be worse; could be Superman talking again. 

“Are you intending to repeat your crimes in this reality?” Wonder Woman says. 

“You cannot possibly be stupid enough to think I’d answer that truthfully either way,” Black Zero says, eyeing her dubiously. The corner of her mouth quirks up, just a little. 

“Perhaps,” she says. “But I imagine you’re aware that I do have a method to assure that you would.” 

Black Zero rolls his eyes, then holds out his arm in further annoyance. It’s not as if he needs to lie, much less cares enough to. If he wanted to kill them, he’d be killing them. 

“Thank you,” Wonder Woman says, because of course she’d waste time on that, and then loops her lasso around his wrist. “Your name, please?” 

“Black Zero,” Black Zero says. Wonder Woman hums consideringly. 

“What are your intentions towards this reality, Black Zero?” she says. 

“To explain to your Superboy why he’s an idiot and murder anyone between him and his brother,” Black Zero replies dryly. “Also, I might punch your Superman. He’s pissing me off and I’ve never actually gotten the chance to.” 

“Technically not true,” Superboy says. “One of the Superboys we met was actually a younger alternate of Superman, and you definitely punched him. Like, really hard. And his dog.” 

“Did I?” Black Zero feels pleased. “Good.” 

“You’re such a prick, man,” Superboy says, scowling at him. “The dog!” 

“I hate dogs,” Black Zero replies with a dismissive shrug. 

“So do I, but that is not the point!” Superboy says in exasperation, throwing his hands up. “And we’re not murdering anybody! No murder!” 

“You’re not, maybe,” Black Zero snorts. Wonder Woman watches his face, her own expression still thoughtful. 

“You want to abduct Match from the Agenda,” she says, which is again something he feels he’s made very obvious, but whatever. 

“It’s adorable that you’d describe freeing a legally-enslaved teenager as ‘abduction’,” he says. 

“Arguably, I couldn’t even describe him as a teenager, given he’s . . . how much younger than you, Kon-El?” Wonder Woman asks, glancing towards Superboy.

“Oh, uh–like a year, about?” he says. “I think about a year, anyway, I’m a little fuzzy on some of the dates, after the Wild Lands and–I think about a year, yeah.” 

“So you people left a newborn clone with an organization run by slavers,” Black Zero says. “For a year. That’s about as impressive as I’d expect from a Justice League, yes.” 

“Match has made his feelings on remaining with the Agenda clear more than once,” Superman says, narrowing his eyes at him. Black Zero gives him a dubious look. “We tried to help him. He’s made his choice."

“Yes, physiological teenagers with five minutes’ worth of life experience are notoriously adept at making informed choices with long-term consequences that involve them rejecting everything about and everyone in the only life they’ve ever known,” Black Zero drawls, rolling his eyes. “Silly me. How could I forget.” 

“Your priorities are . . . interesting,” Wonder Woman muses, still watching him thoughtfully. He doesn’t know what she thinks she’s looking for. 

“They're correct, is what they are,” he says. “No one else gives a fuck about our kind.” 

“Clones, you mean?” Wonder Woman says. 

“You keep asking me incredibly obvious questions,” Black Zero says. Who else would he mean? 

It's been made very clear to him that no one else is going to look out for any of them except each other.

[moghedien]

You know what I'm curious about is Lanfear describing Moggy as 'insane'. Since vain idiot is arguably the persona Graendal intentionally plays up in thr books, honestly she right thst most of the men Foresaken can't plan their way out of a bag (Demandred and Ishamael are the two real exceptions), but Moggy's description just catches my ear. Also I am curious if they've say, cut Mesaana and Semirhage, aka two of the more competent Foresaken.

Mesaana I absolutely think is getting the axe, and I've been on that for a while. Like sorry to her, but she's barely in the books as it is and her role can very easily be given to Moghedien since she doesn't even do much between book 7 and the last battle anyway. If they wanna condense the Forsaken, she's the most obvious one to cut after Be'lal

Semirhage I'm not convinced of. She's a late series Forsaken anyway, so they don't need to start hyping her yet. I can see Lanfear just not wanting to bring her up up because she's scary, but also like, name dropping all of the Forsaken in that scene would have been to definition of an exposition dump, so I think its still entirely possible for her to still show up. Moghedien and Graendal make sense since they're some of the ones we're gonna see soonest. I am curious about "the boys" still

Anyway, about Moghedien being insane, she's extremely paranoid to the point where she refuses to attend any meetings with the other Chosen even when its a group activity sorta thing and definitely isn't the "Let's Kill Moghedien" party she assumes it is. But also despite being extremely paranoid to the point where it hinders her from doing basically anything, she still meets privately with fucking Graendal of all people (Graendal mentions this after Moghedien is captured and didn't make their meetings). Like she won't meet with the group because she's scared of them, but she'll meet with the most balefire happy of the Chosen who turns people into mindless pets as a hobby. The girl doesn't think these things through or make logical decisions. Or maybe Graendal is just her therapist, who knows.

Lanfear and Moghedien also have a sort of petty rivalry because they both claim to be the master of Tel'aran'rhiod. Moghedien is just obviously too scared to challenge Lanfear on this to her face, so it makes sense that Lanfear is just dismissive of her because she'll talk big about shit until she actually has to back that up, then she runs away.

Also I mean, like literally all of Moghedien's role is just her getting easily distracted by and obsessive over mean woman, to the point where it is actively getting in the way of what she is supposed to be doing for the Shadow.

So yeah,

[ineffably-human]

it's how definitive it is for me. it's how we've actually ficced and debated this for years and they wrote it so crudely and unimportant, in a way that they can't really revisit later. no chance of more thoughtful or better storytelling next year, about one of your show's central goddamn questions.

this is our arguable main character, he is our entry point into everything else. and as that entry point, Guillermo's story is about dedicating his entire life to something, finding meaning in it since he was young, finding and latching onto it when he's not even supposed to know it exists. clawing his way forward for a place at the table where he's decided he wants to sit. risking his life at least a half dozen times I can think of.

Guillermo's story is about damaging his relationship with the entire rest of the world, throwing himself in with people who take years to admit they even like him. rejecting his family and his innate nature and lineage. tying his most important relationship up in it: this is the person who'll give him the thing he wants most in the world. one day Nandor will look him in the eye as an equal, as someone Like Him, who can stand next to him forever. his relationship with Nandor, at every stage, has always been a combination of 'do I want you or do I want to be you? does claiming me as one of yours mean I am yours? am I allowed to have forever with you?'

Guillermo's story, this season, is reacting to every single stage and marker of finally getting what he wants with joy, with the exceptions of 1) stepping away from a family that never seemed to understand or fulfill him in the first place, 2) having it happen in a less than ideal place and way, hurting Nandor in the process. the central problem of his turning isn't his feelings, which are extremely clear, it's how this impacts his relationship with Nandor. (answer: exactly the way you think it will. he's upset and then he gets over it. nothing else changes.)

and then suddenly we're told: Guillermo can't be trusted about what he's consistently said he wants. he hasn't given thought to a regular, inextricable piece of what it means - even though he's been next to, and engaged in, violence that's way more direct and bloody and sometimes even more senseless. the guy whose vampire entry point was Anne Rice never thought about The Horrors for some reason, because he's an idiot now. some people can Handle It and some people Can't, and he Can't because by the way when the vampires said he couldn't get what he wanted because he was lacking in some way, they were right.

suddenly, in the eleventh hour, it's off the table now. and even though every single other part of him has been tied up in it for his entire adult life, that's somehow a simple decision to make.

and more importantly, the show is going to take maybe five minutes at best to tell us that, and to make it clear it's not something that's a 'maybe' or a 'someday'. character development can't smooth it out. he can't try to fix it. it's just how it is.

yeah, of course in life you prepare for things that then swerve unexpectedly and take you in different directions. there are things you dream of that aren't how you imagine in reality, and you change gears, and you adapt.

and those are huge moments. they matter.

Guillermo doesn't get to mourn it. he doesn't get to reflect on where it places him with his loved ones. he doesn't even really get space to decide it on his own before declaring it in front of everyone he's ever met.

he has no anchor for his entire place in the world anymore, and if the amount of attention and care paid (read: very little) means anything, we're not supposed to feel very much about that at all. and we're not meant to have any indication of where he's going next. and I fucking hate it.

it's a lazy, thoughtless, botched-ass job, and I expected better.

[starplusfourletters]

(way too many) thoughts on the ahsoka show

It was fine? I was really afraid there would be something I hated. And there was nothing I hated. Sad but true that that’s the bar for new SW material atm.

I really liked ep5; ep5 will probably get a rewatch. I liked the casting. The visuals were pretty cool. Huyang was a treasure.

So we’re really going with “the Force is in everyone so everyone can use the Force if you just try hard enough”? I… kind of hate that. That somehow feels ableist of me to say. But this is a heckin fantasy universe I feel like some people Really Are That Special, y’know?

Exception that proves the rule: A Force-less Sabine is still VERY SPECIAL. In Rebels, she can hold her own in a fight just as much as Kanan or Ezra. She’s extremely competent without the Force. She’s somehow less competent in this show

She really is just the worst here in ways that I do not remember her being in Rebels. I guess arguably Ezra was the one with Terminal Protagonist Syndrome in that show? And she caught it from him before he left?

I feel like what this season WANTED to be about – and honestly it’s the lowest hanging fruit possible for a show titled “Ahsoka” – is the tension between Ahsoka’s past / her relationship with her master and her future / her relationship with her apprentice. But I don’t think they actually hit a balance there, because they just did not make her relationship with her apprentice very compelling. Three reasons for this:

1. My bias. There are very few things that start with “Ahsoka &” that would get my attention more than “Ahsoka & Anakin.” Feel like I’m not alone on that one tho

2. Established canon. It’s already an uphill battle because Ahsoka and Sabine don’t have much of a relationship in Rebels. I’m honestly not sure they ever have a conversation. I remember Sabine being like “wow she’s cool much cooler than my idiot adopted brother”, and maybe that would be a place for a mentor figure relationship to start, if Sabine weren’t already DROWNING in mentor figures. It’s not that they have nothing in common, they are just straight up not a focal point of Rebels S2.

Hey you know who canonically has latent Force abilities? And maybe needs some training? And whom Ahsoka would have a Complicated feeling about without even needing a prior established relationship? Someone with mutually incompatible daddy issues? Someone deep enough in the cultural zeitgeist she literally would need no introduction?

Yes I KNOW it’s never gonna be canon and I should just go back to AO3 but it’s RIGHT THERE HRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

3. But a lot of the issues with Ahsoka & Sabine as a focal point are of the showmakers’ own creation. You’re telling me they have a relationship now? Fine, CONVINCE me of that:

First they shoot themselves in the foot by not giving us any information about how Sabine became Ahsoka’s apprentice originally. Why did Sabine want to become a Jedi when she didn’t want that in Rebels? DID she want to become a Jedi? What did she want to learn from Ahsoka? Why did Ahsoka decide to take an apprentice at that time and not any time before or after? How did she feel about it? And why pick Sabine, who is, and this is true, Not Very Good at the Force? Who approached whom, or did they run into each other accidentally? I suppose answering some of these questions might require answering “where was Ahsoka between 3 BBY and 4 ABY?” and they aren’t ready to do that yet, but guys. GUYS. If you’re trying to tell me how Ahsoka and Sabine fix their relationship, you gotta tell me why I care first.

I know I'm harping but I really cannot emphasize enough that "fuck it I'm gonna go round two on Found Family" is an arc-defining character beat for both Ahsoka AND Sabine and the fact that the audience doesn't get to see it really makes me question whether the powers that be themselves know what it looks like

Then we get vanishingly little information about why they broke up, and all of it is provided by Huyang. And what I’m picking up from what we have is “Sabine got too Revenge Quest-y, and Ahsoka got nervous.” I don’t even know where to begin here – maybe with the fact that if Sabine decided to go on a murder rampage, she wouldn’t need the Force, lol. We know Sabine’s family died, she wanted to go to Mandalore, and Ahsoka didn’t want her to. So… did Sabine go? How did she end up back on Lothal? Who left who? Was Ahsoka worried for Sabine’s safety, or that she was getting too Dark Side-y, or both? What juicy terrible intergenerational-trauma-driven things did they say to each other when they broke up? I want to compare and contrast this with Ahsoka leaving Anakin, but I do not have the information to do so because there are zero details and the info we DO have is from ANOTHER CHARACTER. Again, if this season is about this relationship, TELL ME WHY I CARE.

To me this is the same cardinal sin as Picard S1 – implying that some really interesting stuff happened when the audience wasn’t watching, and that it explains why the characters are behaving the way they are, and then… not disclosing that information. EXCEPT PICARD GAVE US MORE THAN THIS fjdghjfghjkhkd

I was not on Tumblr when I was watching Picard S1. Probably for the best.

But okay, they have a history, the show is gonna be about them, sure let’s move on. AND THEN THEY SPEND LIKE HALF THE EPISODES NOT EVEN IN THE SAME GALAXY. The time they do spend in the same room is 75% generic sniping. As someone who came into this way more invested in the Ahsoka & Anakin relationship, ep5 was very much NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART

And the couple of beats they do have together have me going HUH? After ep2 I spent most of a day debating myself on whether there’s a missing scene, between Sabine getting stabbed and waking up in the hospital, where we see Ahsoka actually REACT. On one hand, Ahsoka would be upset, maybe we as the audience can fill in the gaps and we don’t need to spend time on it. On the other hand, maybe we do, tho? At the time I was thinking about how we haven’t seen Ahsoka truly emotionally vulnerable since TCW with the exception of “Shroud of Darkness” and maybe “Twilight of the Apprentice.” She has a very normal range of emotions, and she expresses them in very controlled ways, and I just wanna see what she looks like when that breaks down, ya know? What’s weird to me is that in ep4 when Ahsoka thinks Sabine is dead we do get this beat; she gets Real Mad there for a second. So maybe what we’re learning is it was a double beat and they should have cut the stabbing thing entirely I mean come on they had to have known they were gonna catch flack for that. Then again, having that moment shows the audience that Ahsoka does give a shit, more than she wants to admit and more than she typically shows Sabine, which is a fun compare/contrast with Anakin, and it might have given me a better understanding of the relationship if it had come earlier.

The other big beat is Sabine deciding to help the baddies. That is just such a devastatingly terrible decision. So bad, in fact, that I feel like we’re supposed to be drawing parallels to Anakin. Their whole “screw over the galaxy to save one person” thing. Except 1) Sabine is not Anakin and 2) in order for that to be interesting, Ahsoka needs more information than I think she has. She knows Padme died around the same time Anakin totally lost his shit, and that’s about it. Which is actually a fun little thought experiment: what assumptions does Ahsoka make about the causality there? The only people who could have given her more intel are Palpatine, Obi-Wan, and Vader – unlikely. So IF the show is about the lines between Anakin and Ahsoka and Sabine, Sabine’s choice here could be central to that, and crucially to Ahsoka’s understanding of that, except it’s just for the audience I guess?

I do really like that Ahsoka’s extremely chill about what Sabine did, though. Ahsoka “Eh Shit Happens” Tano. Somehow her lesson from all this is “masters support their apprentices literally no matter what. Citation: Mine did.” That’s an unhinged take and I expect nothing less from my blorbo.

WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST GOTTEN A FLASHBACK TO THE SITUATION IN WHICH AHSOKA DIDN’T SUPPORT SABINE HRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

I realize that I’m really tearing into this thing pretty much just for not being something it isn’t. Like, it’s not BAD. But maybe its weaknesses stem from not committing to being about any one thing. It’s kind of about intergenerational trauma, it’s kind of a Rebels Part Two, it’s kind of a Filoniverse installment, it’s kind of a worldbuilding exercise. And that’s not necessarily too much material for an 8-hour show. It’s more like the powers that be DECIDED that was too much material.

TLDR, footage of me after pretty much everything star wars that’s come out since the Disney acquisition:

[blackholedjester]

I just realized that i can use this as a place to post the Plushswap AU, so, i'mma be annoying about it for a while.

Yo yo hello! for most if not all of you who are here and dont know what the Plushswap AU is or need a refresher, I'm here to ramble your ears off about it!

So here's the

Celestial Idiots Plushswap AU Masterpost!

Tags : Plushswap will always be underneath the following tag : #Plushswap au If you're looking for a specific character, it'll be!: #PS! [character name]

The Plushswap AU is just as it sounds! The cast of The Celestial Idiots, but all the robots are swapped for plushies and vice versa! When speaking in reference to Plushswap, it is normally abbreviated as "PS" for speed of typing Though i do suppose some more context is needed beside that so 'ere we go!

vvv Cast vvv

This is the first art piece, and technically the official 'start' of the AU! It features most of the characters within the Plushswap AU and as close to 'official' designs as they were gonna get (i stay loyal to the reference sheets given v.v) [if there is no image to accompany a character, they're up here in this drawing or didn't have a ref change substantial enough for a new image!]

Color!

Color is the one and only daycare attendant within the Plushswap AU, taking over the roles of both Moon and Sun. They had found Sun and Moon randomly while going through some storage closets for supplies one after-closing eve. Keeps things relatively under control until the plex closes for the day, then its time to grab their choice of the living plushies and head off to play games!

Sun and Moon!

Two of the (arguably) most helpful plushies around! They were made to beta-test out some alternative designs for daycare attendants, though they ended up being scrapped for Color in the long run. FazCo was just too corner cutty when it came to this project, so they settled for one, static daycare attendant instead of the dual-personality.

Eclipse!

[As of this post, Eclipse has only made an appearance in one video, mischaracterization is bound to occur and i apologize ahead of time ^^'!] A much, much older beta plush! Made as a beta to the Daycare Attendant that was the predecessor to Color! They were found torn apart in a storage box down in Parts 'n Services, and was stitched back together by Trix.

Lunar!

The other half of the older beta plushies, they were also found in shreds in Parts 'n Services. They just sort of, appeared in the daycare one day. Color seems to recognize them, but if she knows anything he's playing dumb very well.

Chica!

A very energetic and peppy plush! She tends to hand out more around the other glamrocks during opening hours, though she will occasionally sneak out to lead a group of (older) kids through some stretching!

Roxanne Wolf!

[As of this post, Roxy has made very few appearances and has no actor! Mischaracterization is bound to occur, and i apologize ahead of time ^^'!] A not-too-active plush, usually spending her time outside of the daycare and away from the general chaos of it. If she is found, she's usually found slinking around near or around Foxy's areas. She is the beta design for Foxy.

Montgomery Gator!

A rather rude and grumpish plush, he chooses to be away from the commotion of the activities of the daycare, but that doesn't stop Moon from dragging him along to play once the daycare closes. If there's bickering to be involved, it's usually between him and Moon.

Freddy!

[as of making this post, Freddy has only appeared in one video so far! Mischaracterization is bound to occur, and i apologize in advance ^^'] One of the quieter plushies, seeming to not have the ability to speak at all with how little noise he makes at all! Where he gets off to when he's not hanging around the daycare, no-one really knows! Except maybe Monty, but he doesn't seem like he's going to tell anytime soon.

Trix!

The one and only human amongst this cast! Trix is the daycare attendant handler, though is more of the voice of reason amongst the chaotic flock of somehow-alive Plushies and chaotic attendant. They seem to be the only one to see the loose, child-like plush that appears around the attendant sometimes..

Peepaw!

Admittedly? No-one really knows where Peepaw came from! Moon says he dragged him out of the trash one day, and the ever wise and ominous doll has been occasionally tagging along to the games that the gang plays.

[vampyr-game]

Do you think Myrddin had an "oh shit" moment when he saw his new freshly turned champion, Jonathan, was about to kill himself when he just became a vampire? I just replayed the game for the 6th time, and I just realised that his not-so-average maker probably was watching Jonathan. And Jonathan probably should had died there, so maybe Myrddin just dragged him back with some godly-vampire-magic. Still I'd love to see the panic in Myrddin's eyes at the beginning.

First of all I would like to commend you on being so thoroughly invested in this game that you've played it 6 times! That's a level of not-normal-about-media I can vibe with. 💞

But what an amusing question! Myrddin is such a smug bastard about the whole affair that I'd certainly enjoy seeing him taken aback by the sheer suicidal audacity of his new Progeny. I think being a newborn vampire comes with plenty of perks (I have many theories about the biological and supernatural process of turning), not least of which include heightened resiliency to mortal wounds--but the change also seems to be something that not everyone survives (Charlotte's friend Emily, Reid's alibi upon killing Aloysius Dawson)... 🤔

So, is Jonathan already out of the woods, just because he's already woken up? Does waking up (and feeding on his sister, when we know how well you KNOW a person effects how much power you can get from drinking their blood...) imbue him with insane temporary strength? Or is it still uncertain whether he'll survive? Would Myrddin have bothered reaching out with psychic poetry if Jonathan weren't a sure thing? Is that poetry a kind of "blessing" or magical invocation to wish his Progeny luck in the coming travails? Is predestination involved in Myrddin's seeming certainty?

I believe we're meant to understand that Myrddin is largely implacable in the face of mortal affairs, and he's made plenty of Progeny. That makes my knee-jerk assumption that he'd watch Jonathan attempt suicide impassively, which is actually so messed up? Sure, if him surviving is guaranteed then I guess there's no need to worry, but jeez. Have a heart, Myrddin. 😰

Having said that, we know Myrddin expresses (arguably contradictory) sympathy for Jonathan in the darker epilogues. Does that care only come after the events of the game, or is it there from the outset? Jonathan is naturally unconscious in the immediate aftermath of his suicide attempt--so if Myrddin, say, called out to him in concern, he wouldn't hear it, and we certainly wouldn't be privy to it. And the idea that Myrddin might PANIC and "drag him back with some godly-vampire-magic" is so compelling?? Surprise, Myrddin, your new son doesn't think you're God, he just thinks he's going insane (or dreaming)! Maybe you should have counted on the skepticism of the modern era, idiot! (Or did his other Progeny also make attempts on their life?) (This does seem like the most narratively expedient way to demonstrate someone has achieved immortality) (munch to consider...)

I know many of us tend to dispense with the supernatural nonsense (namely Blood Daddy and Plague Mommy) for more grounded narratives (I've certainly made no secret of preferring Vampyr's more human-focused original story concept to the JRPG-reminiscent "Let's Kill God" finale we ended up with); but Myrddin is still a crucial linchpin in Jonathan's development as a character, given he provides the inciting incident, is the root cause of most of Jonathan's problems, and the source of all his powers. I'd certainly like to see more of, and try my own hand at, fan explorations of their relationship.

Thank you so much for your wonderful question! 🥰 As preoccupied as I am by the contradiction of Sean being a(n alleged) sole exception to vampires being hurt by the cross, I had almost forgotten that Myrddin's cryptic bullshit and impenetrable poetry was one of the main reasons I became obsessed with this game and wanted to do literary analysis at it. So thank you for the reminder! 🫀💓

[x-authorship-x]

Can I just say that except for a handful of characters (I can't think of anyone outside the main Yamanaka family and, like, the old farts of Konoha and the various clan heads and maybe a couple of people from other fandoms here and there) Shisui is very shippable with like, every other character in existence

Hey Anon so I'm going to blow this wildly out of proportion and say that you're absolutely right but Shisui isn't just the ideal character to ship with others but ALSO one of the best to play with in general in the sandbox of fanfiction. Like, let me say my piece-

Shisui is powerful. You can make him literally the baddest bitch out there and you wouldn't even be stretching things. Shisui ALSO has the potential to be pathetic (the hot mess of his death is just...so...so stupid) AND you can make the world's best damsel out of him. Shisui can save people and fix shit BUT he can also be saved and swept off his feet. What a versatile king.

And it goes on. Shisui is sunshine, he's the only Uchiha grinning in public and making friends and he laughs. He's also so fucking traumatised and tortured. You can make Shisui the heart-bruised hero or you can have him as the comedic chaos king or you can have him as baby boy who needs loved or you can have him as fucked up beyond belief but no one believes you because would a psychopath be the nicest person in his whole clan?

You could have shisui siding with Tobi and suddenly the whole world is rewritten because guess what you can't DETECT Kotoamatsukami-

Shisui can be a hero, THE hero, and he has the potential for a great villain, an even more heartbreaking Martyr. He's sweet and hurt, he's loud or sensitive, he grins in anger and he laughs in tears. Shisui contains a LOT of multitudes. I think he's really so baby boy for that.

And look at where he's situated in canon, in the power ranking, in the timeline. He holds Konoha's whole existence in his hands, he can tear into the past that led to that point AND he can reshape her future.

Shisui is painfully loyal but he's also willing to manipulate everyone he knows and loves for his own ideal of peace, stripping them of their autonomy in that moment. He's also willing to die, to actually kill himself, before letting others take that power. He's a genius, the kind that made him Itachi's mentor as a fellow child, and he was given arguably the most powerful and terrifying Mangekyou ability yet he made his name by revolutionising a basic technique, the Shunshin, into something legendary.

A bit of canon divergence and Shisui completely rewrites the world that Naruto's generation inherited. He's the legacy of Kagami, who was the legacy of Tobirama. There's so much you can do, forwards and backwards, with just this one character.

He's also, you're right, ideal for shipping. He's pretty, he's a genius, he's also a mess and an idiot. Frankly, who wouldn't want to kiss him lmao

Yeah, I'm a Shisui supremacist 😉

[imiren-kul]

Okay I'm gonna start using my blog for like, actual blogging. I was telling some friends about the antics I get up to at work and they were saying I should write it down and share it so I guess that's what I'm going to do.

For some backstory/context, I currently work as a driver/salesperson for BlueBell Creameries. If you don't know, it's an ice cream brand that only sells in the American South and has a cult following here in Texas since its original factory was based in Brenham, TX. It's really good ice cream, arguably one of the top three options you can find in most grocery stores.

I also used to work for a flatbed company for a while about a year ago or so. That may come up in the future but I'll elaborate as I need to. All you need to know is that is was a nightmare job where every day was a new calamity.

I'll try and update art least twice a week if not daily. It would probably be fun and cathartic to share some of the wacky shit that happens. I'm also told I'm a good story teller but the jury's still out on that.

So I'm gonna update yall on the latest happenings before I start the week.

I've had no less than 4 freezers go down on me this month and one freezer is on its way out. The first one seems to have been a one-off weird malfunction. It's working and I haven't had ice cream go bad in a few weeks. I'll check back in on that tomorrow. Another one that went bad is on Mondays route as well. (I hit different stores on different days of the week. So Monday stops are different from Tuesday, Thursday, or Friday stops with the exception of major grocery stores that I hit every day.) The second convenience store that went down, I lost like 40 some pints of ice cream. I left them with a minimum of ice cream and I'm not gonna go back until my territory manager gives me the okay.

The third one was actual at a grocery store, one I call the Cursed Randall's™. It's very gross. The back rooms are a disaster and the frozen manager is disgusting. There's a river of slime in the back lot where I park I have to step over. Anyway their freezers suck. They go down more often than they should and the ice cream is always slightly soft in the doors. They got fixed and I refilled the freezers so it's back to the status quo for me.

My latest store that had a freezer go down has been a problem child for a long time. The freezer has failed several times before and has melted ice cream in the past. They fairly recently got a new freezer unit but they put it in the back corner of the store next to the cleaning supplies so they never sell much or any ice cream. I deliver there maybe once a month. Anyway, they lost all their ice cream recently because of some kind of failure. I chunked like 50 pints, 5 ½ gallons, and dozens of snacks. I told the manager on duty that I couldn't guarantee they'd get a credit on the ice cream since this has been happening so much. I'm not gonna go back there either until I get the green light from my TM.

There's more lore but I'll fill you in as time goes on. Hopefully I'm able to keep this going and that yall enjoy my stories. I also have a dashcam so I can share videos of the idiots I encounter on the road as well!

[sparklyslug]

For the WIP tag game, "fucking > forgiveness"

What a fun working title!

AHAHAHAHA YES! Simple premise for this one, Our Flag Means Death where Ed and Stede are fucking for a long time before they forgive each other. FUN!!

Name the wip, I’ll share a snip!

To punctuate his point, and because he’s a fucking prick, Stede shoves Ed against the side of the stable.

“Ah,” Ed says.

Except. It’s kind of more of an aa-hhh. A high, trembling sound punched right ouf his gut, horrifyingly out of his control and unmistakable in its tone.

Stede should know it. Stede does know it. He’d panted that little ahh right into Stede’s face, Stede’s arms locked around him and Stede’s blade in his gut, Ed feeling high and filled up with moonlight and not as guilty as he should have been for kinda (okay definitely) tricking Stede into what wasn’t quite just another fencing move. Had felt like a laugh, had felt like a joke, and they’d laughed and joked about it. But the fuck-that-stings-please-don’t-stop fucking little noises had to be laughed at because they certainly couldn’t be suppressed.

Stede was a bit clueless then. Maybe he’s less clueless now though, because he’s frozen in front of Ed. Hands still wrapped tight in Ed’s collar, forearms braced strong against Ed’s chest.

Neither of them says anything. Ed’s busy trying to keep his breathing under control, refusing to let himself show his soft vulnerable underbelly to this asshole ever again, refusing to let Stede see him sweat. He’s not sure why Stede’s gone quiet, pretty unlike him actually, more prone to reciting his thoughts as he wanders through them (something that had delighted Ed once upon a time, happy to follow those rambling reflections anywhere they– hey fuck you, don’t think about it). He’s just looking at his hands, looking at Ed’s face, his own breath coming suspiciously hard.

Then, slowly, experimentally, he pulls Ed forward. Just a bit, just enough to rock Ed onto his toes. Ed’s not a huge guy, alright, but he’s a little surprised at how little effort it takes on Stede’s part, and surprise is cut in half by terror at being drawn closer to Stede because is he– he’s not–

And he isn’t. Because just as soon as the thought crosses Ed’s mind, he’s been pushed back again, slammed with force back against the wooden planks behind him.

He grunts. Like, grunts. Might be, arguably, more of a moan. And even if it wasn’t, the way his back fucking arches a little, totally invulntary, neck tipping back like a fucking invitation before he can stop the motion, is even more of a fucking giveaway.

Fuck. This sort of thing has never done it for him before. But clearly, that’s just because this sort of thing has never been done to him. Before. By Stede.

So much for acting cool, unbothered, untouchable. So much for protecting his soft underbelly. So much for pretending that after the last six months, he couldn’t give two shits about Stede Bonnet, his eyes full of concern and his hands on Ed’s body and his mouth–

–His mouth, hungry and demanding and hot against Ed’s.

“Fuck,” Ed says, high and desperate, and Stede makes an inarticulate sound of fury or desire or both and shoves at Ed again, crowding his body against Ed’s for better leverage, Ed’s dick making the sudden aquiantaince of the unmistakable hard length of Stede’s own.

This isn’t a tender confession on a beach, tentative romance and flutterings in his chest. This bears no resemblance to that moment, and not only does Stede feel like a different person, Ed feels like a different person. They couldn’t be further from those two idiots sitting side by side in the sand, and thank fuck for that.

[noisytenant]

rant on places that have policies of “no cis men” or otherwise similar things. not complaining about cis man feelings idgaf abt that

i kinda think events and groups that are like “we include everyone except cis men” are lame as fuck. but lots of times they’re doing cool things, which sucks.

i understand how many people are surrounded by idiot guys who impose their wills onto whatever scene, act as chasers, drive the cool people out, and take all the credit. i think it’s fair to exercise caution and to want to prevent that from happening, and in small settings i think it’s not a big deal—even if the same criticisms apply, it has very few consequences. i especially think this policy catches on because it offers a simple comfort that is rarely afforded to people, and arguably being able to breathe a sigh of relief is worth something, even if that relief is illusory.

but i think that the problems this paradigm raises arent worth it on any larger scale. theres a lot of obvious things from the simple fact that “being a cis man” isnt a verifiable trait, but also it comes across to me like someone has done half the work of thinking about social justice but just stopped there.

i understand that power dynamics are complicated so it’s not that social dynamics are wholly reversed just because you have a position of authority, but if you organize events or operate a space YOU RUN THE SHOW! the idea that cis guys will be an invasive species that predates upon your queer utopia falls apart for the simple fact that you are not a prey animal, you are the administrator of a social club. you can distribute authority among trusted individuals in your group to protect more vulnerable people. you can do the work to cultivate a safer space by setting explicit conduct guidelines, having a clear mission statement, having policies around investigating grievances, etc.

and it will be much harder than turning away cis guys at the door—but i think if you aren’t willing to understand what it actually takes to prevent abuse, then you can never successfully cultivate meaningful community. you’ll exclude people who deserve, maybe even need what you’re offering more than some of the people who fit the bill. and, i’m not likely to trust you to genuinely keep me safe if you operate on this kind of baseline.

it feels like playing house, living in a fantasy where you can just leave the bad guys at the door. and as i said before, i simply think that is lame!

[allisoooon]

What is your opinion on the babying of klaus? From what I seen since season one their constantly constantly infintalizied, saying klaus is baby, their child, son, etc way more then the other siblings. Considering he is arguably the most popular sibling in every social media aspect of the tua fandom except maybe TikTok with five this probably was to be expected since he is “skinny” “ frail” “ fragile” “ more traumatized “ as ppl like to say and whatnot. Never have once seen anyone formally hate klaus dislike them not even a hate post where as the other siblings get treated like complete dust and shitted for all their actions/scenes and tons of hate post made on them whereas klaus is on this throne of some sorts. It sucks since klaus is so much more since the dude literally went thru Vietnam, the 60’s thinking they were the only sibling alive, and just their life in general and not some damsel in distress that could do no wrong and if someone does anything to them their atuomatically hated on ( in reference to the siblings ).

With a lot of comfort characters like Klaus and Five, I sometimes have this feeling that what people like isn't actually the character because they gloss over the less glamorous parts of them instead of loving them as they are.

I am weirdly protective of Klaus' flaws--all of their flaws, really--partly because it's what makes them human, but also because it's what makes their growth as characters so compelling. You didn't love Luther this season just because he was wholesome--you also loved how he crooned "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and the fact that he knew all of the words. You didn't just love Diego for how good a brother he is, you also loved him for how bad a father he (initially) was. Klaus actually says it perfectly when talking to Ben about Ben: being a mess, embracing their mess, makes them easy to love.

And when I read a fic with some idealized version of Klaus whose problems are 0% his fault, I don't feel like I'm reading about the same character. Then when people demonize anyone who is remotely mean to him, it actually downplays something that is good about him: he doesn't take everything personally. He's tougher than he looks. He has some areas that are incredibly fragile, but he knows a "sibling I-love-you" when he hears one. You know, like when Diego says "I still think you're an idiot." That's just his way of saying "I love you." So is "Let's go find your stupid mother." Also "I hate your face"/"I hate all of you." It willfully misinterprets the context in which he exists, which in turn misinterprets him.

There are worse things than your fave being a coward, or being self-involved, or having a victim complex. Your fave could be perfect. That is so, so much worse.

[juicypassionfruit]

Perfect Match

Summary: Y/n unexpectedly falls for Ryan

Warnings: Swearing, Y/n is kinda gross not too much though mostly just chaotic, drinking

There was no one in the entire high school who was as stupid and gross as the CKY guys, except maybe Y/n who was dumber and arguably grosser. She was every teacher's worst nightmare and weirdly enough every student's idol. Without a doubt, she was the most well-known student that ever attended East High School.

For her entire four years of high school, she hung out with these guys. They weren't as known as her, except for Chris Raab but that's only because he put shit all over the lockers and it's still talked about to this day. Y/n was crazy and did the absolute dumbest shit. She was most known for her parties and how drunk she got during them. The drunker she was the more likely she was to do whatever you dared her to. From jumping from the second story onto a table to licking Ryan Dunn's toe.

The only thing Y/n did that the others, besides Ryan, wouldn't do is let her friends give her stick and poke tattoos. Eventually, she got some professionally done but most of her tattoos were stick and poke. Her body was covered in dumb quotes and stupid images. They all thought it was funny and weren't shocked she'd do that. It seemed like every day she had something new on her.

At school, she would show up high out of her mind and not get caught. Which turned into everyone showing up to school high and seeing who would get caught and who wouldn't. Without even trying she was a trendsetter. Her style had a mix of everything it just depended on the mood she was in. Some days she dressed more feminine and other days she looked like a skater, sometimes she dressed grunge.

The music she listened to varied but for the most part, it was all metal. Occasionally she listened to rock and very rarely anything else. She didn't watch tv very much, too busy being dumb with Ryan and Bam, but when she did watch something it was something as simple as Ren and Stimpy or cheesy 80s horror films.

Y/n didn't drop out like the others, even though she wanted to. When she finally graduated she got a job at a local skater shop, thanks to Bam. She knows very little about skating, just how-to and a few trick names. Her main goal was to save up and bartend, so she was working and saving up for school. Occasionally she did some stunts for the CKY movies, but pranking and just completely irritating everyone was her go-to.

Ryan didn’t know what it was but he was hooked from the moment they met. Her natural ‘I don’t give a fuck attitude’ had him in a chokehold. He was so intrigued by her and wanted to know more about her.

Y/n was best friends with Raab and met the other through him. Bam let her hang out with them because she was cool and because he was scared of what would happen if he said no. She was beyond intimidating, which made Ryan like her even more. She could hold her own and didn't need anyone.

***

The buzzing of her phone interrupted her dancing and listening to music. Annoyed she answered it, “What?”

“Hey, Y/n. Let us in” Raab said and hung up. Y/n rolled her eyes and walked out of her room to let them in. Her music blared throughout the house. When she unlocked the door, Bam, Ryan, Dico, and Raab stood there. “Are you gonna stand there like idiots or are you gonna tell me what you want?”

“Come to LA with us to film Jackass. It’ll be cool trust me.” Ryan said

She looked them up and down trying to decide if it really would be cool. Y/n would have to call off and get someone to cover the bar for the weekend. “Alright. I’ll go”

And with that, she packed her stuff and got on the plane with them to LA. When they landed they immediately went to the bar to get some drinks. Walking into the bar Bam immediately went up to a group of guys Y/n wasn’t familiar with. The group of guys started to yell and cheer.

Apparently, Bam and Ryan always brought up Y/n any chance they could. Having a girl who was just like the Jackass guys was something they loved to brag about.

The guys came up to her and introduced themselves. “I'm Steve-o” He stuck his hand out. “Y/n” She shook his hand.

“I don’t wash my hands”

“Neither do I” Steve-o erupted in laughter not expecting that kind of response.

Throughout the night Y/n talked to the Jackass crew and drank. Keeping up with them with no problem. They all got to know Y/n and listened to countless stories that Raab and Dico loved to talk about. Like messing with the teacher's cars and pulling pranks in the hallways and bathrooms. Bam liked when she got fired from multiple jobs because of his own pranks. Ryan hadn't made a comment on it, but he loved everything she's done.

By the end of the night, which was early morning, everyone was drunk and stumbled to their hotel rooms. Ryan kept his arm around Y/n holding her up as they walked. When she looked up at him she saw him differently. Maybe it was his friendliness; the way he made sure to get her Advil and water and offered to hold her hair back if she needed to throw up. It was a new kind of consideration he hasn’t had for her before and it was in that moment she realized that she might like Ryan a little more than a friend.

Later in the morning, Y/n was rudely awakened by everyone storming into her room. Her spare key was taken and used to her disadvantage. She grabbed the comforter and pulled it over her head, “Get the fuck out!”

“Get up Y/n we have to film” She could hear Bam rolling his eyes and getting impatient. Y/n sighed and got up.

On set, Y/n baked in the warm sun. Watching the skaters attempt to do the wooden loop that stood before her. It was entertaining, to say the least but she needed some way to cool down. Even in shorts and a bikini top, she was burning up.

Ryan stood beside her watching Bam go again. “Dunn, I’m sweating my balls off. Let’s go in the water.” He let out a chuckle and nodded, “Alright alright. C’mon”

They both went down to the shore and put their feet in the water. Y/n leaned down to put some water on her arms and legs. Ryan was too busy looking over to watch the Bam skate down the ramp to notice that Y/n was staring trying to figure out how she now viewed him. Before she could give it a deeper thought, she decided she should push him in.

She stood up all the way to figure out to do it without him knowing. The movement made him look over at her. She smiled at him and moved closer. Her arm moved to wrap around his lower back, which wasn’t unusual for them. Before she could wrap it around him she quickly pushed him from behind. Ryan was completely caught off guard.

Y/n leaned over and laughed. He stood up and started to walk back while she stayed in the same spot catching her breath. She had no idea he was planning on getting her back so soon so when he tackled her into the water it shocked her. When she got up from underwater she smiled at him. He returned it and started splashing her with water. They both laughed and splashed each other some more. As the sun started to set they both got out of the water to dry off and go out again.

It didn’t take long before Y/n was taking shots and drinking with Steve-o and Chris. They begged her to do something stupid and even made it a competition to see who could do the stupidest thing. The cameras were constantly out and filming just in case they caught anything good. They mostly stayed on Johnny who was flirting with some girl.

“Fine!” She laughed and stood up from the barstool she was sitting at. Y/n looked around the bar trying to figure out what to do for their entertainment. “Okay distract the workers.”

No questions asked they both separated and kept them busy. Chris flirted with the bartender and Steve-o was asking security stupid things.

With everyone distracted she walked over to the pool table area and stood on it. Before she could even do what she was going to do Ryan was throwing her over his shoulder and walking out of the bar.

“Y/n got in trouble” Chris laughed

On the way back Y/n kicked and punched Ryan as much as she could trying to get out of his grip. Being in his arms made her stomachs flutter, which was new. Ryan had done this plenty of times. He threw her on her hotel bed and tossed a water bottle at her.

“C'mon Ry! How are we gonna see what Chris and Steve-o do?” She complained.

He let out a laugh and shook his head, “How am I supposed to tell you I like you if I’m always watching Steve-o do what he always does.”

Heat rushed to her cheeks and she was at a loss for words. This made him chuckle. “You heard me right. I like you. A lot.”

“Ry-“

“Just go to sleep,” Ryan said sitting on the chair next to the window and turning on the TV.

***

In the morning, Y/n didn’t remember their conversation. She knew she was supposed to remember something but she couldn’t. Ryan expected that, which was why he said what he said. He knew it was not the right way to go about it so he was thankful she didn’t have too many memories of the previous night.

Back home everything went back to normal. Y/n worked at the bar, while Bam and the others would make their CKY videos and do their own thing. It was nice to be back in West Chester.

Ryan hadn’t talked to Y/n. He couldn't keep his feelings from her any longer but didn’t know how to go about it. There was never a good time to bring it up. He thought about asking Bam for advice but that'd be a dead-end so instead he went to Raab who knew Y/n best. Raab didn't have much advice except for be honest and tell Y/n whenever he could, so Ryan convinced Raab to tell Bam to throw a party. Bam had no other plans and agreed with no problem.

Y/n got ready for the party and waited for Raab to come and pick her up. The doorbell rang and she ran to answer it yelling at her parents that'd she was leaving. She was slightly taken back when Ryan was on the other side of the door, but went along with it.

"So where's Raab?" She asked as they drove to Bam's house. Ryan scoffed, "Already drunk and forgot about you."

"Why am I not surprised"

At Bam's he got out of the car rushing to the other side to open it for her. She thanked him and walked up to the front door with him.

"Ya know, Ry. I like you too. A lot."

His eyes widened and his cheeks reddened, "You do?"

She kissed his cheek and nodded before going inside to enjoy the night and maybe get some more alone time with Ryan.

[notquiteaghost]

this is only fun if it's not canon but jaskier being in love with geralt The Whole Time & geralt knowing n not feeling the same way DOES compel me, and also like. AU where since the mountain jaskier's actually gotten involved with someone new, because yes he is very heartbroken & sad & angry but he's also a catch dammit, just cuz one idiot of a witcher can't see that doesn't mean no one can, it's not like there's any point holding out hope now. he's moving on! maybe he's not getting over geralt but he's damn sure moving on!

so. geralt tracks him down after his run-in with yennefer, but he's not in prison, because he has someone to bribe the guards. he's in a tavern, getting ready to perform, & geralt's like "i'm sorry, i need your help" & then some guy he's never seen before comes up to jaskier & says in a decidedly displeased tone "oh is this your witcher, jask?" & geralt's like. what.

jaskier's new beau says "y'know there's a lot i've been wanting to say to you", but jaskier (looking pleased and fond) says "no, if he's asking me for help i'm sure he's really fucked, let's just be certain the world's not about to end before we waste our time yelling at him. is it cirilla? you better have had that girl with you, geralt, as much as she deserves someone better" & geralt's like. What.

jaskier & his new beau have a brief argument about whether or not jaskier should help geralt, with jaskier arguing yes and his new beau arguing absolutely not what the fuck he's already broken your heart once and gotten you tortured. jaskier does go with geralt but his new beau comes too. this guy definitely isn't a witcher, tho. jaskier's type is 'competent & mean', but people can actually be competent at things unrelated to monsters or violence. this guy is like, a tradesman. or maybe he owns the tavern jaskier performs in...

ok, rest of this post pending until i actually finish s2 but, spoiler alert, geralt gets very jealous & jaskier's like. i mean you DID dump me on a mountain. bit late now. except he is flirting outrageously with yennefer, as revenge for all the time he sat through geralt flirting with yennefer, and it's not insincere flirting. geralt's cringefail 'my ex & the guy i wouldn't admit to wanting to date are now involved with each other and with some other guy who is arguably better than me in almost every way' era.

edit: rest of this post in the notes

[mgsdays]

Hello! Kindly I’d like to know back while when Mo find the guitar in the locker, he went to see He Tian in his class but he was absent.. what do you think Mo was going to tell him if he was there? And when Mo says:” you don’t understand”, what does he mean?

Hi there! Ooh, good question.

Mo is a mess.

He Tian knows Mo better than anyone right now, even, arguably, Mo himself. It scares Mo. It leaves him feeling raw, and vulnerable, and really fucking scared. The guitar brought this all to the surface, a jungled mess in Mo’s head that he doesn’t know how to deal with.

The guitar was entirely for Mo’s benefit. He Tian would have loved to watch Mo’s reaction for example, he’d love to give the guitar himself, maybe even tell a joke and make Mo blush. He Tian didn’t do it though. He left it for Mo in a way that Mo would have privacy to process this on his own. He Tian is saying ‘do whatever you want, I’ll support you’ but he’s also saying ‘I understand you, I know what you want, I know you, and I’m just using that knowledge to make you happy.’ For Mo, that’s fucking overwhelming. Mo’s not used to being so exposed--even the desires that he’s embarrassed about--and what’s worse, Mo’s not used to being so accepted for it.

(About that: Mo is poor and doesn’t play the guitar, so wanting a guitar is embarrassing for him. What will he even do with it? They’re tight on money, Mo’s mom already works so hard. A guitar is superfluous. Mo’s embarrassed that he even wants one. Mo wasn’t about to ask for one in a million years. 

He Tian noticed Mo looking though, He Tian notices the things Mo wants, and then he gets them for him. It leaves Mo feeling exposed. And grateful. And scared. And a million other things. Mo is a mess right now.)

Sometimes He Tian does things that Mo could rationalise away as empty gestures. Not this one. He Tian says ‘do whatever you want, I’ll support you’ and then he proceeds to prove just fucking that. Is it a guitar that Mo wants? Boom, done. He Tian doesn’t mind that Mo wants it, He Tian doesn’t find it embarrassing — He Tian believes in Mo. And he will, in fact, be there to support Mo. 

It’s not an empty gesture. If it’s not an empty gesture, He Tian means it. Mo has to acknowledge the feeling behind it, has to acknowledge why He Tian wants to do this for Mo, why he cares.

I think the point here is that the things that Mo want terrify him. It’s not as easy for him as it is for He Tian. He Tian is not embarrassed of what he wants, hell, He Tian makes it loud and fucking clear. Mo's scared, and He Tian seems fucking fearless to him, so Mo thinks he can’t make He Tian get it.

Except He Tian does get it.

He Tian, in turn, is saying ‘I know you’re scared Mo. It’s not that I don’t know, but you can’t live in that fear. If you don’t acknowledge what you dream about, you will never get it. I can be there for you but I can’t help you get what you want if you’re too scared to say you want it in the first place. You will have to be the one taking that first step. You will have to be brave’. 

It’s about the guitar and Mo’s dream of playing it but it’s also about the two of them and the romantic relationship they’re on the verge of. 

Mo probably thinks of it as ‘He Tian’s one-sided feelings for me’ but Mo also blushes and stutters and experiences jealousy and doesn’t let He Tian pull away when He Tian texts that he will. He Tian knows his feelings are mutual. He’s telling Mo that Mo will have to be brave about them.

If Mo saw He Tian, I think he would ask if He Tian was a fucking idiot, why did he spend so much money on this, and then he’d tell He Tian to take it back. Some part of Mo already knows that He Tian does this because he has a crush. Mo can’t reciprocate (coff coff doesn’t realise that he reciprocates) so he can’t accept He Tian’s gift. Mo probably thinks it’s messed up, like he’s using He Tian or taking advantage.

He does reciprocate though. He Tian knows he does. And He Tian will not stop supporting him.  In the end, I have a very good feeling that they’ll be fine.

[d-criss-news]

Darren Criss FAULT Magazine Covershoot and Interview

Every artist has their unique reasoning behind releasing a Christmas album, however, few are as personal as Darren Criss’.

Whether you know Darren from his acting or singing talents, you’ll know he throws himself headfirst into every project and this album is no exception. While featuring several Christmas classics, the album still manages to be a wholly unique listening experience, and for better or for worse, it arrests your attention and evokes an emotional response.

We sat down with Darren to find out more about his process, creative direction and of course, his FAULTs.

What was the thought process behind releasing a Christmas Album?

I feel like at some point in a musician’s life, we all wonder what sort of Christmas album we would release. It’s a genre that happens once a year and you can’t avoid it. I’m a big fan of holiday music and I’ve always been fascinated with how the rules change just for the season.

As a self-proclaimed genrephile, I can’t help but be fascinated with musical ecosystems. I’ve always wanted to make a Christmas album, but I didn’t want it to be a cash grab but a significant part of who I am. Arguably this one could be my most personal project. There’s been a considerable amount of time granted to us this past year, I would’ve been a fool not to work on the album, it’s something that’s been long gestated and considered.

We’ve never heard River performed in such a way, can you talk us through your song selection process and how you came to the final creative direction?

I had a couple of goals, and if I had it my way, it’d be a bunch of songs no one had ever heard of, but I’m not an idiot. To make it accessible, I chose familiar songs which would hopefully gateway to my more left of centre choices. I wanted songs that people know but performed uniquely; I don’t like serving what’s expected or feels safe. I like the avant-garde but in my very humble musical facility.

For River, part of me is like, “how could you do that?” But then I thought, what an interesting way to reconceptualize a sentiment. There are a lot of songs that have this cognitive dissonance between a heartbreaking sentiment, and an upbeat sonic landscape. I like f*cking up those wires a little bit; for better or for worse. The Sonic palette of this album is to employ as many Christmas sounds to a non-traditional track – embracing the things that make me, me, and trying to inject that into the music as much as possible.

Have you taken the time to stop and recognise how far you’ve come on your creative journey or has it passed by in a blur?

All I see are the things that I haven’t done, maybe that’s my neuroses, but if anything, I should take more time to appreciate what I’ve completed because all I see is the vast landscape of things that I have yet to do. In my mind it’s a lot of output, but like low visibility.

I’m so obscenely appreciative of where I’m at and what I have, but I’m also at the same time obscenely aware that it’s fleeting, which is a very strange way to exist.

What is the biggest creative hurdle that you have had to overcome?

There’s always gonna be another mountain always gonna be a new hurdle that everybody wants to get over. If I have five plates spinning, one’s gonna fall so a hurdle is trying to make sure that I can keep the plate spinning, but not at the expense and jeopardy of longevity. I thrive on chaos and, and I work best doing a lot of stuff, but I am envious of those that can just really focus on one thing and have done very well doing that.

Every artist’s greatest hurdle is themselves. I’d much rather fail with something that I’m proud of than succeed with something that I’m tepid about. To be a part of something that gives me prosperity, but no pride is a strange hell. I’m very lucky to say that that hasn’t happened a whole lot. There’s plenty of things that I have done that I don’t think a lot of people would know about, those things are huge points of pride for me and were huge turning points in my life.

Is it difficult to make decisions for yourself that might be at odds with what fans want from you?

I think any artist’s journey is a constant compromise between what, you know you can do and what an audience is willing to accept. Luckily because of the transparency of artists and their process to audiences, the social kaleidoscope has shifted in my favour because audiences are smart and they don’t just see one thing.

No matter what your spectrum is of how you consume culture, I wanna leave a lot of options.

What part of the creative process don’t people get to see enough?

Being an artist is honestly, the smallest but loudest part. Everything else is like the day to day tedium of emails, phone calls, bearing the brunt of a lot of annoying tasks that torture artists. Wanting to be perfect, chasing the next thing, putting that all together would be unbearable if it wasn’t for the payback of doing something you’re proud of.

Think of any artist, whether you like them or not but you ask yourself ‘how is so and so famous?’ it doesn’t matter if you like their song, the hustle is so high functioning that it may just be a confluence of a lot of serendipities of a certain moment in time, but it is not without a significant amount of draw and hustle.

This has nothing to do with the art itself, but it has everything to do with the art that has reached you. That’s a really interesting concept that I think people don’t really see. I can’t throw a rock at anything in culture because I understand the degree of insanity that it takes to wanna pursue that.

What have you done to benefit your mental health?

Before the COVID era, people would ask me, “what’s your dream?” I would love to just say “time to do nothing.” It took a global shutdown for me to just have time to read and invigorate my mind and consume culture the way I did when I was a kid. I would have preferred to not be by way of, of a global crisis, but like many people, the silver lining is I did get the time to do a lot of stuff that I’d always wanted to do.

Shortly before the pandemic was one of the most congested, tumultuous times in my professional career, this Quibi show, was the most I’ve ever worked on anything in my entire life.

I got married in 2019 soo having the time for domestic bliss with my wife and sitting at home and watching things was a fantasy, so getting to do that for a bit of time was really special.

What is your FAULT?

I just wish I could do more and it drives me insane that all I see in my own life are things I didn’t do, or haven’t done. It’s also can be debilitating because during this time I just feel useless. It’s like, what have I done? Especially in the age of compare and despair, where you can see what everybody else is doing. That is a byproduct of our social media generation and it doesn’t matter how old you are, you feel it. If you see all this stuff other people are doing, you can’t help be like, “my gosh, I should be doing this.” It’s not totally healthy. I’m so old fashioned, I don’t like sharing everything about my life and, weirdly, it’s now expected of me.