#Ex Girlfriend Came Back After 3 Years Awesome Useful Ideas

[ggukkieland]

📕CURRENT READS (2020 November)

🌹 Almost done with the list except for a few and I am excited to curate fics that are fitting for merry December 🎅❄🎄🤶 woot woot! 

I enjoyed this month’s reads - a mix of cyberpunk au, android au, werewolf aus, slice of life, exes and those on the verge of breaking up, and lots of beautifully-written drabbles which ended up in my list of favorites. 

Please send these authors some love by reblogging their content =)

✅ -  done reading   | S (smut) F (fluff) A (angst) 

🥕[Ongoing Series - to check weekly] 

Still reading the ongoing series from October’s reading list, whenever there is an update 😊.

Onyx @springbean - JJK | ABO universe, omega!reader, rouge!Alpha!Jungkook, roommates, cyberpunk au | A, F (this is so fascinating)

[2/?] years after the war, Soketh has become a bustling electric city of life and death. a world now filled with mystery, danger, and rules, y/n finds herself rooming with her old friend while trying to find herself in the city of dangerous dreams. however, her world is turned upside down when a rouge alpha enters their life seeking refuge and help…

Vulgar and Divine @yeoldontknow - JHS | elf!hoseok au, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage,  fantasy au, horror, suspense | A, S

[1/?] The Elf King buys your hand in marriage as an act of political strategy - you, the Banshee Priestess and your ability to forewarn death in exchange for your people’s return to your original home in the River Lands. You hate him for the way his kind make a mockery of death. Even before you meet him, you decide you will not grieve his death - not even a little. But then, on the day of your wedding you begin to weep - and it is not out of love or rapture.

Kitchen Confidential @glitter-kookiedough - KSJ | chef au, slow burn, enemies to lovers | A, F, S

[3/?] After years of annoying the life out of you, your rival, Kim Seokjin, pushes you a step too far and he knows it. As angry and resentful as you are, you don’t realize that something has been brewing under the surface for years. This weekend, that will change. 🌟 new chapter🌟

enemiestolovers drabble series @sincerelyourfangirl - JJK | enemies to lovers, fwb, co-workers | S, A, F

[3/?] Maybe the line between love and hate is thin. Especially when you’re in bed with Jungkook.

Challenge Accepted | What Happens When You’re not Careful | Risky Business

The Lost Luna @hobisbeautifulass - KTH | werewolf au, soulmate au, rival clans | F, A

[2/?] One Luna is born per a hundred-year cycle or so and only appears after the previous one has passed away.  This Luna was forced into hiding for seventeen years, but now she’s back, bloodthirsty, and ready to reclaim her throne.

Mutual Help @personasintro - JJK | bestfriend au, fwb au, fake dating | A, S, F

[24/?] in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it a mutual help

Bite Me @cheeky-kookie - PJM | vampire au | A, F, S

[1/?] Growing up, you always learned to look over your shoulder at night, hoping to never run into the catlike gleam of a vampires eyes. Yet, one night on your way home you find yourself staring into the very things you feared most. Dangerously beautiful and undeniably confident, Park Jimin was everything you knew you needed to stay away from, but he had other plans.

Nut Jobs @ironicarmy - OT7 | slice of life, crack, humor, friends au | S

[5/?] Eight friends. One terrible idea. A whole lot of trouble. Welcome to No Nut November.

Cherry Pickers @kimnjss - JJK | social media au, smau, gamer, fuckboi, vixen!reader, virgin!reader | F, S, A

[4/?] [updates daily] known for your body and surrounded by rumors about your sex life… rumors that he doesn’t think to doubt. until he’s meeting you… forced to realize there’s much more to you then the thonged shorts and lacy costumes.

(or, you’re a video vixen with an assumed identity and jungkook manages to see past it.)

Across the Board @out-of-jams - KTH | 20s, gambling, mafia au, enemies to lovers | S, A

[1/?] And now you’re indebted to the city’s most dangerous mob boss, forced to pay your dues in blood one way or another. With a gun pushed into your hands and your life at stake; once you’re in, you’re in. You’ll never get out.

🥕[Completed AUs/Series/Drabbles -  to read]

Through Time and Space @taephilia - 10.6k | KSJ | F, A, sci-fi, time travel au, adventure, doctor who au 

re: Untitled @to-star-lake - 18.8k | JJK | A, S, F, ceo au, arranged marriage, childhood acquaintance turned enemies (one of my favorites this month 🥰)  

01 02 03 04  ✅

Moral of the Story @suhdays - 7.7k | JHS | A, F, S, strangers to loves, soulmate au, OC can tell if people are telling the truth (really interesting)  ✅

In the Margins  @bonvoyagenoona - 31k | MYG | F, S, A, writer au, humor, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, editor!reader, writer!yoongi [also on AO3] 

01: Winter (5k words)   ✅ 02: Spring (6k words)  03: Summer (7k words)  04: Fall (13k words) 

Into my Bones @inkofyoongi - 15k | MYG | S, F, A, fwb to lovers, slice of life-ish, non-chronological (this is awesome 🌟) ✅

A Human Touch @snackhobi - 39.1k | KTH | F, S, robot au, android!taehyung 

01 ✅ 1.5  02 (will finish the rest of the chapters; this is so good)

Supply and Demand @scribblemetae - 5.7k | MYG | S, A, supernatural au, telepathic!myg, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers  ✅

More than Us @jeongi - 11.3k | KTH | F, S, college au, roommate au, best friend to lovers

Moirai @jimlingss - 46.9k | KTH | F, A, isekai au, fantasy au, reborn as a villain in a video game

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 

Taking Flight @rmnamjoons - 15.2k | KNJ | S, sci-fi, post-apocalypse, rivals to friends to lovers au

Lining’s Silver @sketchguk - 14.1k | MYG | S, F, College au, idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers 

Even a Forest Fire Dies Out @9uk - 6.6k | JJK | A, F, exes au (a re-read) ✅

Southpaw @starshapedkookie - 30k | JJK | A, S, F, childhood friends, college au, boxer au, kinda e2l-ish (a re-read, that fight scene was just exhilarating) 🔥🥊 ✅

All That We Had @starlightauroras-writes - 13k | JJK | Heavy A, S, F, exes au, reunion, ex-husband!JK ✅ (author said there’ll be Pt2)

After the Honeymoon Fades @onherwings - 13k | MYG | A, S, F, established relationship (on the rocks), producer!yoongi, professor!OC ✅

Cozy Thief @bratkook - 5.1k | JJK | F, S, roommates au, mutual pining ✅

Quiet Baby by bratkook - 3.2k | JJK | S, established au, pwp, exhibitionism✅

Come Over by bratkook - 7.2k | JJK | S, pwp, neighbors au, voyeurism ✅

Tear You Apart by bratkook - 17.4k | KTH | S, pwp, slight horror, paranormal

01  ✅ 02 (to read)

Breathe @ephemeralkookie - 6.9k | JJK | A, S, F, exes au, multiple break-ups   ✅

Shield @namgukgalore  - 18.6k | JJK | F, S, slow burn, security guard!JJK, co-workers au ✅

Imitation of Art by namgukgalore - 9.6k | KTH | F, S, romance, friends to lovers

High School Reunion @btsarmy9593 - 6k | MYG | F, reunion, second chances ✅

One Night Ride by btsarmy9593 - 3.8k | JJK | F, hints of S, college!JK, noona, one night stand au ✅

Off the Table @fakeleaves - 11k | KNJ | A, F, exes to lovers  ✅

By its Cover @crystaljins - 38.9k | JHS | F, A, enemies to lovers, demon au, magic/supernatural, witch!reader 

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 ✅

Your Eyes Tell @njkbangtan - 40k | JJK | A, F, mild S, soulmate au, roommates au, enemies to lovers, slow burn, a bit sugar baby au, lawyer!reader, artist!jungkook 

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15   ✅

Popular-ish (drabble series) @hansolmates - 16.1k | JJK | F, S, A, popular!JJK, normie!reader, college au, fwb-ish

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09  10 11 12 13  ✅ 🥰

One More Time (Finale) - 7.3k | reunion ✅ 

No One @dfdph - 21k | JJK | A, extreme sports, slice of life, epistolary (in form of letters), heavy angst (not kidding! with trigger warnings; written so beautifully but angst may not be for all) ✅

Repercussions: Suspenders, Satin and Stockings @pars-ley​ - 3.1k | MYG | S, pwp, established relationship ✅

Have Faith in Me @aroseforyoongi - 6.4k | KTH | S, F, werewolf au, soulmates au, bestfriends to lovers ✅

The Art of Boxing @seokiie -  3.1k | JJK | S, pwp, boxing au ✅

Beautiful Confession @btsracket - 6.3k | JJK | S, F, fake dating, friends to lovers  ✅

Tongue Tied @btssavedmylifeblr - 12k | PJM | S, F, minor A,  crack, demon au, idol verse, established relationship, pwp  ✅

Infamous @sugaxjpg - 12.5k | KTH | S, A, secret relationship au, fuckboy au  ✅

Familiar Stranger @army-author - 7.3k | KTH | F, friends to lovers, high school au, mixed-up identity  ✅

Strangers Again @minniefilms  - 11.4k |  JJK | A, F, enemies to lovers, best friend’s boyfriend

01 02 03 04 drabble ✅

Ruin Him @kingsuckjin​ - 3.5k | JJK | S, pwp, virgin!JK, coworker au ✅

Sex Education @extravaguk - 12k | JJK | S, F, A, brother’s best friend, virgin!OC (actually came out fluffier than expected 🥰)   ✅

In your Eyes @sweetaesuga - 10.6k | JJK | S, F, A, college au, fratboy au, ex-fuckboy jk, friends to lovers ✅

Drabble Series: In Your Heart [4/11] ✅

Lunar Violence @taetaesbaebaepsae - 7.4k | JJK | S, rock band au, werewolf au, ABO dynamics, strangers to lovers ✅

A Fallen Bookmark on a Thursday Afternoon @cutaepatootie​ - 19k | JJK | A, F, S, strangers to lovers, takes the same train every Thursday 😭 ✅

There You Are @joonkookiemonster - 13.4k | JJK | F, S, ABO dynamics, werewolf au  ✅

Here I Come @jiminssthetic - 3k | JJK | S, pwp, college au, friends to lovers ✅

Morning Rush @atdawnsuga - 3.2k | JJK | S, college au, exhibitionism, strangers ✅

(in)Satiable @thatlongspringnight - 11.3k | JJK | S, F, incubus au, lucid dreams ✅

The Red Pool @ksmuttherapy - 3.1k | JJK | S, horror, vampire au, dusk til dawn vibes

inTOXICated @sugarjaee - JJK | A, S, toxic relationship, college au, fboi au  

01 02 03 04 05 06  ✅

Inebriated [Jungkook’s POV] - 7.4k, read after chapter 4 ✅

You’re so Creepy (drabble series) @whatifyoulivelikethat  - 2k per member | OT7 | F, crack, university au, creepy girl au, (actually cute) 

There’s always at least one campus creepy girl. Or seven. Part 1 (1st kiss) Part 2 (2nd meeting)

kim namjoon - part i | part ii (fave)  ✅

kim seokjin - part i | part ii (fave)  ✅

min yoongi - part i | part ii  ✅

jung hoseok - part i | part ii (fave)  ✅

park jimin  - part i | part ii (fave)  ✅

kim taehyung  - part i | part ii ✅

jeon jungkook - part i | part ii  ✅

🥕[Drabbles]

Feeling @sometimeinjoon - 2.3k | JJK | demon JJK, established relationship, a bit slice-of-life | love this so much ✅🥰

Warmth @artaefact - 306 words | JJK | fluff, fantasy au, incandesce couple ✅

Too Close @taestybae​ - 1.4k words | JJK | expecting parents au, boxer au, angst  ✅

“i’m yours, in every way you’ll have me” by taestybae - 0.8k | KTH | S, A, fwb au ✅

“Are you Sure?” by taestybae - 2k | KTH | S, F, brother’s best friend | love this!  ✅ 🥰

“The strings are attached already” @taetaespeaches - 1.8k | KNJ | angst, fwb ✅

Deep End @latetaektalk - 2.2k | MYG | angst, fuckboy au, a bit of fluff  ✅

Game Boy @suqakoo - 2.7k | JJK | S, gamer au, enemies to lovers, a bit of fluff ✅🔥

Reese’s It’s All for You @joonkookiemonster - 3.1k | JJK | F, demon au, roommate au, Driving me Wild Halloween Drabble ✅

Transparent @kingsuckin - 793 words | JJK | S, pwp, established relationship, see-through JJK shirt 😉 ✅🔥

Savage Love @whatifyoulivelikethat - | JJK | S, pwp, OC is yoongi’s ex 😬 ✅

🌹  Drabbles by @zephyoongist​  - I love the way these are written. Just beautiful. Truly fluffy (like butterflies in my stomach) and also gives off a deep/for keeps type of dynamics between the characters:

you and yoongi had an unusual friendship... - 665 words | MYG | fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers ✅🥰

kim taehyung had only met you a few times… - 1.2k | KTH | fluff, accidental pregnancy au ✅🥰 (a fave)

there wasn’t any particular reason as to why min yoongi chose you to be his mate - his luna… - 840 words | MYG | fluff, werewolf au, slice of life ✅🥰

jung hoseok found you when you were about to make the biggest mistake of your life… - 1.5k | JHS | fluff, runaway bride, slice of life | really cute ✅🥰

[freakygirlie]

J2 Fanfic Rec List <3

In honour of all the j2 content we have recieved, and the amount of fanfiction I have read, I decided to make a rec-list nobody asked me for but EVERYONE has to read k? Capiche? Make sure to heed the warnings, and read the tags. These are some beautiful gems by very talented authors and I’ve only scratched the surface of it.

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The Courtship Of Jensen’s Co-Star{Masterpost} by qblackheart-  

Summary:- Somewhere in the time between a handshake and a hug, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki went from being reel-life brothers to real-life best friends, and complete strangers to cosmic soul mates, no rhyme or reason to it that either of them could ever see. Jared was everything Jensen was not: friendly, funny, and full of life; one in six-point-whatever billion the Earth’s population currently stood at. Life was awesome. Work was amazing. Everything was fine until Jared kissed Jensen. Everything was peachy until Jensen fell in love. With desperate times unexpectedly calling for desperate measures, Jensen called Chad Michael Murray for relationship advice – because being in love led to temporary insanity obviously – so it really didn't surprise him that he couldn’t seem to win when it came to wooing Jared. Still, Pisces must’ve been in a really good place in the night sky or something because suddenly, right smack dab in the middle of the miserable courtship of his co-star, Jensen discovered that maybe loving Jared was all he needed to do to win his heart. And luckily for Jensen, loving Jared was also the one thing he did best. ~112k~

The Play Nice Proviso{Masterpost} by qblackheart-

Summary:- When Jensen Ackles first met Jared Padalecki, it was most definitely not love at first sight. It wasn’t even like at first sight. In fact, Jensen hated him, and he had a few good reasons as to why. So what if his new co-star was oblivious to his one-sided warfare? Jensen could deal. Apart from when he couldn’t. So when it came down to picking between Padalecki and his peace of mind, the choice seemed clear. Except for the fact that The Network had his balls in a vice, leaving him stuck with Supernatural, stuck with his idiot co-star, and worst of all, stuck with a ‘Play Nice’ Proviso added to his contract. Well, he could play nice. He would play so nice that the world was going to think that he and Jared Padalecki were the bestest friends in the history of best friends. It was unfortunate then that no one had ever told Jensen what happened when an immovable object met an irresistible force; no one had ever thought to mention that there was a thin line between hate and love; and nothing, absolutely nothing, could have possibly prepared him for Playing Nice with Jared Padalecki. ~70k~

And The Rest, As They Say Is History by Raina_at-

Summary:- Struggling actor Jensen takes a job as big-shot movie star Jared Padalecki’s dogsitter. And the rest, as they say, is history. ~17k~

reinventing love ‘verse{Masterpost} by _mournthewicked-

Summary:- With high school graduation less than two weeks away, best friends Jared and Jensen find themselves scrambling to tie up a few loose ends before they’re forced into adulthood. Jared ropes Jensen into helping him get the alcohol for Sandy's graduation party, and what should be a simple night of partying ends up turning into a series of mishaps and misunderstandings that all come to head when Jensen finally tells Jared the secret he wasn't ever planning on spilling. If high school has to end, they're going out with a bang. (A J2 spin on the movie Superbad)  ~200k+~

My Heart Don’t Beat The Way It Used To by Raina_at- 

Summary:- Jared and Jensen have been best friends forever, and nothing’s going to ever change that, not even senior slump, or college anxieties, or even Jared getting an annoying cheerleader girlfriend. Or so Jensen thought. ~26k~

Can’t Point The Way To Your Heart by Belyste-

Summary:- AU in the vein of movies like Hitch - Jensen's an unofficial advice guru, and Jared's his latest project. Except while Jensen's supposed to be helping Jared end up with the woman of his dreams, he falls for him instead. ~33k~

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by Belyste-

Summary:- When Jared desperately needs a date for his brother's wedding, he hires an escort. Jensen's the perfect fake boyfriend, except pretty soon things get a little too real. Based on The Wedding Date. ~38k~

True Colors by muni-playground-

Summary:- Jared is a mentally challenged young man with a very special gift. Jensen is an executive with nothing in his life but work. They meet by accident and discover a connection that defies explanation. ~32k~

The Billionaire’s Reluctant Husband by house_of_lantis-

Summary:- Billionaire Jensen is a playboy and he needs a husband pronto if he wants to keep his company and his inheritance. After a chance meeting with quiet and hardworking Jared, Jensen decides that he’s found the perfect candidate. The arrogant Jensen thinks he’s got Jared in the bag, but when his new husband refuses to sleep with him and doesn’t really even seem to like him, Jensen convinces himself that he’s happy with his open marriage lifestyle. But Jensen becomes increasingly obsessed with his new husband and discovers the truth behind Jared’s dark past. ~98k~

Project Get Jared Banged{Masterpost} by soulmatecest-

Summary:- Jared's had the best stepbrother in the world in Jensen since the age of five — growing up together and more attached than usual brothers would —, only realizing that he’s in love with Jensen by the time he hits thirteen. After five more years of Jared's impossible crush, he knows his life turns and spins around his brother. Luckily for Jared, he and Jensen have always been closer than other siblings, making his feelings seem a little less hopeless. Or that is until Jensen announces he’s moving to Austin to live with his girlfriend next year, leaving Jared's perfectly built Jensen-centric world crashing to the ground. That’s when Chad and Sandy decide to convince Jared that moving on and letting go of his feelings are the only way to get through his lost love for Jensen. Yet their plan to get Jared out of his shell and over his stepbrother doesn't sit well with one person: Jensen himself, who realizes that the more Jared tries to pull away, the more he wants to get him back closer. ~120k~

Burn The Land and Boil The Sea by nyxocity-

Summary:- Eight years ago, Jared spent his entire summer on a tropical island off the coast of Mexico with Jensen. He fell head over heels for Jensen, but their lives were going separate directions at the end of the summer, and they never quite got together. Jensen left for Greenpeace and Jared went off to college—but he never truly got over Jensen. Now, in present day, Jared is a marine biologist working on a project in the gorgeous panhandle of Alaska. He’s amazed to discover the captain of the ship he’s chartered is none other than Jensen Ackles himself. Jared’s overjoyed, but Jensen is less than thrilled—he’s a changed man since that summer so long ago; withdrawn, passionless and solitary. Still something of the bond between them remains, and neither of them seem to be able to escape its pull completely. When Jared’s project leads them into danger and leaves them running and fighting for their lives, Jensen’s secrets begin to come out, drawing them back together—but can they survive long enough to figure out this thing between them? ~53k~

As This Sunset Turns to Morning{Masterpost} by _mournthewicked-

Summary:- Jensen spends his life hiding who he is from the family that would never accept him if they knew. When he’s uprooted in the middle of his senior year and suddenly becomes the new kid, his carefully placed mask begins to slip. Especially when he meets Jared – a loud, outspoken spectacle of a boy that fights for everything Jensen was taught to stand against. Jared has no problem going after what he wants, and now it’s just a matter of Jensen letting himself do the same. ~86k~

Leave My Heart Out of This by elless18- (link to the timestamps)

Summary:- AU. Jensen needs to get married in order to get his grandfather’s inheritance and open his own law firm. Jared would do anything to help his best friend. The plan is simple- pretend to date, get married, get the inheritance, get divorced. But things grow complicated when one of them starts falling for his fake boyfriend. Can they find their happily-ever-after from all the lies they’ve built around them? ~35k+~

Who Watches Over Me? by nyoxicity-

Summary:- Jensen Ackles is an ex-Navy SEAL turned civilian bodyguard with a mysterious past. Jared Padalecki is a flamboyant Hollywood star known for his action movies who's been receiving death threats. The case sounds like Jensen's idea of a nightmare, and he takes it on against his better judgment. Jared drags him to clubs and parties and award ceremonies without any care for how difficult he's making Jensen's job, and to his complete lack of surprise, they hate each other. But when hate changes into passion, it begins to reveal something deeper between them, and Jensen realizes he's in over his head. Can he still do his job and keep Jared safe? Or will he fall prey to his greatest fear and fail someone... again? ~96k~

The Billionaire’s Bidding by Raina_at-

Summary:- When idle, slacking billionaire’s son Jensen Ackles lends a helping hand to his old childhood friend, he gets a lot more than he’s bargained for. ~31k~

Hold My Whipped Cream by dimpleforyourthoughts-

Summary:- International Best Selling Author Jensen Ackles is all kinds of specific with the details of his life. He likes privacy, writing, and coffee; black, no sugar, hold the cream. He’s become a fixture at the local coffee shop, writing from his table every day for the past two years. His vices include routine, neatness, and structure. Jensen doesn’t do messes. Then there is Jared, recent post-grad basket case, who’s been coming in every day for caffeine he doesn’t need and bringing the increasing disaster in his life with him. Jared is a mess in all the ways Jensen is not and so Jensen offers to help Jared in the only way he knows how: by buying Jared a cup of coffee. ~37k~

Operation: Mistletoe by dimpleforyourthoughts-

Summary:- FBI Agent Jensen Ackles is a damn good agent, but his devil-may-care attitude, gut instinct, and sheer dumb luck have finally run out. With his job and reputation on the line, Jensen is assigned to a new partner: the overzealous and overachieving Agent Jared Padalecki. Their mission: Infiltrate a ring of drug dealers hiding out in Suburbia in the midst of the Holiday season. The only catch? They have to pretend to be head-over-heels in love with each other. ~39k~

Regaining Sense{Masterpost} by astri13-

Summary:- A vengeful crime-boss cost Jensen not only his eyesight but also a promising career with the FBI. When the man resurfaces two years later, Jensen is not thrilled to find himself taken into protective custody, even less so when the Agent in charge turns out to be Jensen's former partner and boyfriend, Jared Padalecki. Will the two men be able to overcome their differences and work together to not only stop the bad guy but also uncover the mole in their own ranks before it is too late? ~27k~

Say You’re Mine by Belyste-

Summary:- It takes his two best friends getting engaged to make Jared realize what’s missing in his own life, but once he figures it out, he’s a man on a mission: find true love or die trying. He’s not asking for much – just the perfect soul mate to spend blissful eternity with – so when a chance meeting drops Jensen into his life (and his lap), it seems like fate. But either Jensen missed that memo or fate seems to have other ideas, because nothing works out the way Jared planned. Based loosely on S1 of How I Met Your Mother, but you don't need to have seen that to know what's going on. ~56k~

Absence From Those We Love by _mournthewicked-

Summary:- Jensen Ackles led a great life. It just wasn’t the one he planned on. Now he’s newly single, stuck at a job he hates, and sharing an apartment with his lovably psychotic best friend. When he’s given the chance to go back and do it all over again, he leaps at it. Only he soon comes to realize that no matter what’s in front of him, it’s impossible to leave the past behind. Considering what he’d be giving up, he might not even want to. (17 Again - J2 Style.) ~41k~

Change The Fate’s Design by _mournthewicked-

Summary:-  All Jensen has ever wanted to do is see the ocean. Unfortunately, that's kind of hard to do when your dad won't let you leave your house in the forest because of your magical powers. So, Jensen spends most of his days with no one but his pet hedgehog to keep him company. At least, until a guy named Jared stumbles along and offers to help him realize his dream. (A J2 spin on Disney's Tangled.) ~50k~

A Spotlight On These Desolate Dreams{Masterpost} by _mournthewicked-

Summary:- In high school, Jared Padalecki had it all. He was surrounded with rich, famous, beautiful friends and partied with young Hollywood's elite. As if all of that wasn't exciting enough, he used the tricks he learned from his grandfather to become an amateur sleuth with his billionaire best friend, Jensen Ackles, playing the role of trusty sidekick. But when he got in over his head and lost everything he once held dear, he knew that it was time to move on. That was ten years ago. Now he lives the lonely life of a hardboiled private investigator on the streets of Manhattan, and his fabulous past is nothing but a distant memory. That is, until a tragedy forces him to return to California and the world he left behind. Between juggling rabid paparazzi, sarcastic detectives, and a spurned ex-best friend, it's a wonder that he can possibly find the time to solve a murder that has left the city of angels reeling. ~50k~

Break Me, Shake Me, Hate Me, Take Me Over by orphan_account- (sorry, I can’t access the author’s account but the story’s link still works!)

Summary:- When recklessness, alcohol and a bullet to his hip sees his police career end in disgrace, alpha Jensen Ackles resigns himself to a life spent in the dregs of a bottle, aimless and filled with regrets, watching as the bills and eviction notices pile up. That is, until he's offered a job and lodging with beta lawyer Samantha Smith, as a pseudo bouncer/admin worker. It's a far cry from his previous life, but it might just be what Jensen needs to drag himself from the dark place he's in. Not only that, but little does Jensen realise that taking on the position will bring him face to face with his biggest regret; the person he walked away from three years ago in what was the worst mistake of his life... ~70k~

Whiskey River, You’re All I Got by whisperedstory-

Summary:-  Jensen's life revolves around The Whiskey Sour, the bar he inherited from his grandfather nine years ago. But with too few customers and not nearly enough profit, things are taking a turn for the worse. And then Jared Padalecki walks into Jensen's life and changes everything. ~19k~

Out Of The Silence by annie46-

Summary:-  When hardened, but lonely cop, Jensen Ackles meets Jared Padalecki in his family’s diner, he doesn’t realise that his life is about to change drastically. Jared is a complete innocent, deaf, mute and unable to communicate, he needs a friend. Can Jensen be that man? ~the word count wasn’t mentioned but if i had to take a guess, I’d say something between 20k and 30k~

The Execution Of The Last Steal by soulmatecest-

Summary:- Anyone who meets Jared Padalecki would think he has the perfect life: a college degree, a normal life and an apparently perfect fiancé, Stephen Amell, the son of a Senator with a bright future. Except for one thing: it’s all based on a lie. Five years ago, he created a new identity for himself to cut all ties to his criminal past and ex-boyfriend Jensen Ackles, a world-renowned thief. But Jared can’t run forever. A threat from his past comes back looking for him and the only person who can help him is the man he thought he left behind forever, the only person Jared’s never been able to forget. Incredibly charming and just as cocky, Jensen Ackles is a thief that is too good at his job for his own good, who would do anything to protect Jared now that his life is in danger. Years have gone by, but he has never been able to forget Jared either. And perhaps now that they are forced to escape together, Jensen might be able to do what he’s best at: steal Jared’s heart one last time and win back the only person Jensen has ever loved. ~97k~

Bring Me To Life by alienat-

Summary:-  Jared’s a shy young man, whose life has never been easy. His father hates him, his mother drinks her sorrows away and his husband Paul treats him like he is nothing more than a beautiful toy. When his husband has to go away on a business trip to Europe for two months, he sends Jared away to a ranch in the middle of nowhere to keep him under control. There, Jared meets people who show him what love, friendship and loyalty mean for the first time in his life. Can he escape his life and finally find some love and happiness for himself? ~81k~

Gunpoint{Series} by felisblanco-

Summary:-  Jensen got his childhood stolen away from him when he was ten years old. Along with his memory, his voice and every emotion that wasn’t fear, hatred or anger. Question is, can Jared help him get any of it back? And more importantly, does Jensen really want him to?

Election Day by morganaDW(morgana07)-

Summary:- Jensen's running for President with the deck already stacked against him. He's come out as gay while serving in Congress, his Vice President is a colorful Misha & his family has disowned him over his choice of partners. But that's not the worst of it...On Election Day when he should be focused on winning Jared ends up shot after stepping in front of a killer's gun to save some school children. Election Day is important but to Jensen nothing is more important than Jared and he doesn't care who knows it or if he loses so long as he can be with him. It's Jensen who winds up surprised in the end. ~8k~

A Boy At An Open Door by poor_choices-

Summary:- Jensen Ackles' life is all sorted out, until a blast from the past shows up and makes him realize he's not as happy as he thought. ~10k~

Beautiful Disaster by nyoxicity-

Summary:-  Rock Band AU. Jensen’s the lead guitarist in the number one rock band in the country. Justin’s the lead singer, and they’ve been doing this together since middle-school, been together since just after high school. As on top of the world as they are, Jensen’s starting to become disillusioned with the lifestyle and his crumbling relationship with Justin. And then he meets a new roadie on the crew named Jared who’s got a voice like an angel and a heart to match, and everything starts to change. ~96k~

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And that’s the end of it!!! These are absolutely beautiful, gorgeous and epic fanfictions and will keep you buys for days! Hope y’all enjoy these, I’m off to read more sksksksksk. Let me know if a link doesn’t work, if you like any of these in my inbox and if y’all want a part 2! Peace and J2 5 ever!!!

[popculturebuffet]

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness

Welcome back my Scottaholics! We’re moving right along fun and fancy free just a few days later from Book 2 to 3. Which fits: As I mentioned in my review of book 1 I first encountered Scott, Ramona and Wallace in a free comic book story, and VERY intrigued, bought volumes 2 and 3 from the same comic shop after reading it in line.. or maybe I went there again later and bought them. My brain is a foggy sinkhole. Point is I was hooked from then on out, and bought the next three volumes as I came out, and through the internet because by then i’d leanred to use Amazon. Ironic given Ramona’s work for them is not only iconic to the series but plot important in volumes 1 and 2. As is Scott’s package toss in the movie. But the story of my long wait for volume 4 can wait for February. Point is it was these two and Free Scott PIlgrim are the ones I poured over again and agian, obessing over as a teen and the ones that stick in my brain the most.  But even with that last time the exaustive process of covering it exposed a LOT of volume 2′s weakness: While it has a lot of iconic scenes, including Scott accidently convincing a man to skateboard himself to death, the Ramona and Knives fight, the envy call, the flashback, and is still very enjoyable..it also feels the most like a collection of loose events out of the books. Good stuff and character and tone wise better than last time.. but not quite as narratively strong. The series was GETTING there, the art was solidfiying into it’s final form, the characters were in the right place, SCott was more likeable.. but it hadn’t quite hit it’s stride yet.  Three guesses when it did and the first two didn’t count. Infinite Sadness is one of my favorite volumes, along with 4 and 6. And while part of that is nostaliga and a personal connection.. the bulk of it is just this volume being even BETTER on the re-read. I picked up subtle bits that I didn’t notice before that only enritched the experince, the pacing is sublime, the character work is top notch and compelling, the art work is finally crystlalized into what the series is known for, and would only get even better as it goes, and the fights are some of the series best. This is one hell of a story and I warmly invite you to join me as I break it down after the break.

Previously on Scott Pilgrim: Scott defeated Lucas Lee, the second Evil Ex, met Luke Wilson, and prepared to go to his ex girlfriend’s concert despite this being a terrible idea to discuss a gig. It was there he and Ramona found out Envy’s base player Todd, the douchenozzle who she cheated on Scott with, is also the douchenozzle Ramona cheated on Lucas with. 

So we open.. exactly from that moment, with Scott and Ramona starring wide eyed while the band plays in an utterly dazzling sequence that’s been brought up a notch in the color remaster. Also one of a handful of moments that was barely touched from page to screen, with only slight adaptations to make it better on screen, and the addition of Metric’s now iconic “Black Sheep”. And when reading the scene.. I couldn’t resisit turning black sheep on as it matched it perfectly..  so yeah have the Clash at the Demonhead performance from the film

So while that worms it’s way into your head, let’s talk about the character designs for Clash Of the Demonhead, since volume 2 is the last time in the color editions O’Malley really talks about character origins and stuff. I could’ve missed something of course, we’ll see as we go won’t we. I just saved it for here as the Volume 2 review was running a bit long as is and while their shown on covers and on the back cover of the black and white edition, they don’t show up in person and in their full glory till the last panel, hence saving it for here where Envy and Todd are the main antagonists and Lynette is... plot relevant. 

Envy was based on the front woman for the band Metric, Emily Haines, designed much like hanes to be a tough, confrotnational, sexy woman, his words not mine, who’d gone through a lot of change in a few years since according to him, and i’m willing to take his word for it since I don’t know the band outside of the one song he picked for the movie, a lot of the bands songs are about that. And honeslty it makes me want to check them out more, as does how awesome black sheep is I can’t belivie I took this long, and is supremely intresting as I hadn’t realized there was a good reason there wasn’t just an original song written for clash at the demonhead. I mean if you base your character on the frontwoman for a band why NOT use one of their songs.

Speaking of band, Plumtree’s drummer, Lynette Gillis, was the inspiration for Lynette Gycott, though the final version of her is more cold and robotic and less like Gillis than initially envisioned. 

Finally Todd..was based on Scott, and while he evolved out from that a bit especially in powers.. the concept basically stuck as Todd is a stronger, dumber, more agressive and douchey version of Scott whose mistreatment of women is far more deliberate than Scott’s untetional douchebaggery. 

So after some interview segments for some sort of documentary on the band with the crowd, we cut to our heroes after the show, all standing around and being nervous. Stephen’s first words are “Decent show eh, told you they were good”. 

Admitely re-reading this one and answering a reader question, unrealted but it got me to thinking, made me realize Stephen wasn’t AS much of a dick as I thought: I didn’t think about the fact Scott and Envy’s blow up cost him their old band which was close to singing, and that Scott both as revealed in volume 3 and in bits here, was kind of a dick towards the end, intitating the breakup while drunk and belligernt and saying a facepunchingly dickish comment we’ll get to. So he wasn’t BLAMELESS and it’s understandable Stephen dosen’t hate her as much. She was friends with his horrible albatross of a girlfriend and didn’t break his heart. 

However.. he’s still an asshole and deserve jeff blim’s theatrical fuck you up there. He still ignores Scott’s pain, or the fact that most of the breakup WAS Envy’s fault as we’ll see. We’ll get into it in full obviously but for the cliffs notes so I can yell at a fictional grumpy closted canadian man: She slowly drifted away from him, treated him like he had no say in a band he helped found or took his feelings into account in the record deal, and cheated on him with Todd and possibly another guy. And as seen here she used her fame to bribe her ex and friends into showing up just so, as we see, she can torture him and his new girlfriend a bit. Envy is not a good person and Stephen is ignoring that and his friends VERY obvious emtoinal turmoil. Especially dickish since by this point Scott has clearly swallowed his pride and agreed to a show with someone who really DEEPLY hurt him for Stephen and Kim’s sake.. and he’s not even remotely greatful for it clearly. The only reason  he’s not the biggest asshole left in the building is because Todd, Envy and Julie, queen of bitches, is in there. 

So after a save point gag that goes nowhere, Envy shows up to take the group back stage... awkward, uncomfortable and very intentional silence insues to makes Scott even more sweaty and nervous and Ramona visably and understandably annoyed. Knives tries to talk to her hero but gets ignored because Envy’s a bitch.. and so’s Julie who not only joins in the shunning of a fucking teenager who clearly loves this band, but also is clearly trying to conversationally surgically attach her lips to Envy’s ass. Her toadying is obnxoious as you’d expect and as transparent as you’d expect, trying to drudge up old nostalgia while Envy’s clearly barely intrested, and the only thing that makes it more tolerable than normal Julie is Envy clearly barely tolerates this and likely is only going with it because she could be a useful minon in the future. 

Thankfully this is broken up. Unthakfully it’s by knives shouting her most iconic line: 

Given Envy is shown to not be the best person.. her response is to have her cyborg goon belt knives in the face

Which leads to an even better line seconds later

Envy then to just .. complete the circle of being a bitch has NEil take knives out then mocks her when Julie explains why knives and neil were even here. And it’s VERY telling that even Julie, who was must minutes from humping envy’s leg and begging to go with her when she leaves, is visably put off by Envy’s attitude. So while Ramona is understandably fucking done with this, as even she has some shred of sympathy for the teenager who tried to stab her a day ago, Scott has to take a minute to have a flashback. We see two brief bits of Scott with Envy, at the start of their college band Kid Chamelon where they were all happy.. and shortly after the breakup where Scott is miserable, in the middle of the street, sadly saying their name while saying “I’m so alone”.. explaning that desert bit from volume 1.. and making it ten times more painful. Nicely done Brian. 

So with Knives gone we get our usual character age intros and descriptoins, my favioritte being Stephen “wants a damn buritto dammit” which I can relate to and thankfully got it monday. He also does show a bit more of his noble self as, things have escalated to the point even he can see Envy has some sort of evil scheme planned and he walked right into it so he asks what her ulterior motive is. Julie pipes up with “She dosen’t NEED ulterior motives she was written up with in spin!”

So Envy grills Ramona a bit clearly trying to make her squirm..though at least when Julie TRIES to jump in she shoots her down, like some asshole pulling a yappy dog on it’s leash hard. Eventually Scott flips out and .. well I don’t want to overpanel this review but this is just.. quotes cannot do this justice. 

The result.. is the reveal Todd is psychic due to being a vegan and he throwing scott through a wall with telkenisis, kyle!

It’s explained he has these powers because he’s a vegan and even was top of his class at the vegan academy. Citation... needed. Not because of his power but because Todd may be one of the stupidest beings that’s ever lived. And I once had a friend whose other friend told me, since they’d be going to diffrent high schools and he was trying to pass off his mummies curse of keeping him from destroying himself with his own stupidity, tried to run into a wall to loose weight. No I don’t get how this would’ve worked but having known the guy I guarnatee he was arrogant and dumb enough at the time to try it. Nowadays I assume he’s much better... I assume. You.. you’d have to be to have survived another decade. 

Todd is also THAT kind of smug dickhead. Thankfully I haven’t met one in real life or online, as the two vegetarians I have known, one of my best friends micheal and my uncle drew, the former of whom now also eats fish and the latter of whom gave it up once he moved to places he could get meat that was raced humanely easier, but who I still respect for having that amount of self control. But Todd is a clear parody of the type of vegan and vegetarian who think their better than everyone.. by thinking he’s even BETTER than regular vegans because not every vegan can take the strain of psychic powers, with Kim naturally sniping at him.. then flipping him off when he says “don’t get snippy babe” and is very lucky he has psychic powers as otherwise he’d suddenly be wondering where his dick is and why kim’s holding a broken bottle. 

Brian also pokes fun at the old 90 percent of your brain trope. You know the old one that claims you only use 10 percent.. 

But it’s only because your only ACTIVELY using it and the rest is simply other functions. But hey we got Deathstroke out of that claim so good enough. Todd claims it’s because the other 90 percent is curds and whey. This might be the greatest use of this outdated trope in human history. No.. no.. it is. It exactly is. 

Envy brags that’s why he can’t beat him having clearly traded disappearing up her own ass  for disappearing up todd’s, Julie was also crammed up there, it was getting crowded. Envy claims to have been with todd since age 11.. which.. is more.. delusion than anything and she brushes off Ramona rightfully pointing out that’d mean he cheated on her with Ramona as Rammy trying to distract her and trying to smack talk SCott more who has another flashback. 

SOME YEARS AGO.. I DUNNO 5? 5 YEARS AGO?

We see Scott’s first meeting with Envy, who was rooming with Julie. Julie, it might shock you.. has not changed at all in 5 or so years. She’s seen bitching at her roomate Natalie V. Adams, the future Envy, for not wanting to get drunk and high and for hanging out in her room with all her anime posters and stuff. As you can tell, she’s a vastly diffrent person at this point, a nerdy interverted otaku and as you can probably guess now the flashbacks have started at the top, we’ll be seeing how she became the sexpot rockstar she is now and how that drove a wedge betwene her and Scott. Julie SHOCKINGLY does not take this well and as Stephen to kil lher if she ever becomes friends with her. I mean I would but If I could travel into fictional works I certainly woudln’t be wasting my time murdering Julie. I’d be asking kim out and trying to get into some cool video game ablities myself. I ain’t got time for that bitch. 

Next cut Julie is ... even worse as she’s calling Scott some “jerky jerky ladykiller”, pointing out he’s hooked up with recurring background characters Sandra and Monique. Now GRANTED, Scott could’ve hurt them and Julie could be right for once..  we’ve seen he has a history of being an insenstive douche by pure accident. But.. from the sounds of it given his encounters with Sandra and Monique were both in seperate ladies rooms, as in casual hookups I assume are common in universities. As long as he used a condom and dind’t lie about being in it longterm, who the hell does it hurt. Same if he and Natlie ended up being that. He’s not a “ladykiller” if he got busy on a washroom sink. He just had casual sex in an awful location and given Scott is both horny and stupid freqently, I could buy he either inittated it clumsily and sandra and or monqiue went for it, or one of them thought he was cute and wanted a quick one with him and it just never went anywhere either due to lack of intrest or Scott being kind of a moron. I don’t buy he INTENTIONALLY hurt anyone, he MIGHT of hurt Sandra she seems kind of ditzy and might’ve not realized it wans’t serious.. but it just entirely sounds like a casual, consesual one time hookup with two seperate women. And as long as he wore a condom and repsected their needs what the fuck is it Julie’s buisness. BEcause their here freinds? I mean they told her but they weren’t expecting her to play dick sheirff with scott probably. And Natlie is not her buisness: their not really friends.. she’s just trying to ruin Scott’s day.  I honestly get the sense she only hates Scott because she can’t get rid of him, Stephen won’t dump him as a friend and he fucked her friends once. Which makes me hate her MORE. Natlie/Envy however also calls bullshit and thinks Scott’s much too awkward to be a ladykiller. Accurate. I mean he’s good with women and gets dates easily, he’s just not inteitonally leaving them high and dry. He’s just not great with empathy. 

Scott snaps back to the present and gets pissed.. and we get the real reason for the outburst as he shouts “You you ass! She USED to be NICE!”. It’s very clear that Scott blames Todd for Envy’s change into an cold and cruel person. But .. that’s not on him entirely. I do think Envy’s cattier, more cruel “play with prey like a cat with a mouse” personality at this point is due to Todd feeding into her worse impulses.... but the flashbacks make clear even before she saw him again she was slowly changing as a person for better, gaining a drive and passion for music.. and for worse, shutting scott out cheating on him and generally not carring about anything but her career, especially Scott. As much as he wants to belivie it she didn’t MAGICALLY change into a bitch overnight and beating todd won’t fix that. She became what she is as a choice. Todd just made what she became worse. 

After the predictable result of Scott getting flung into the air and falling back down, he has another flashback and we see the next phase of their relationship: Scott, Envy and Stephen playing in a band for Stacey and Wallace (!), whose hair is certainly a... choice. And the two falling in love and julie grilling scott on if he and nat are a couple because why stop making me wish for a bus to hit you NOW Jules?

So we then get ANOTHER iconic line and another scene that was perfectly translated into the film

Comic gold no matter the medium.. Brandon Routh just nailed it and I watched the scene again before writing this just out of curoisty. Flawless stuff. Check it out

I will say however that while Movie!Envy’s response of just quickly covering is pretty funny.. I prefer the comic’s envy’s utterly baffled and pissed off “What are you talking about Todd?”. Even she can’t fathom what the fuck just happened. But since it’s late and Todd’s brain is pretty fried, Envy calls for everyone to get some sleep and they’ll regroup tommorow at 1pm at Honest Ed’s. Honest Ed’s WAS a famous discount Store in Canada that sadly closed in 2016, making what ‘s about to happen to it here sad in hindsight. It was known for big sales, big spectacle and i’ts larger than life owner who sadly passed a few years after this volume. But god bless him for giving this series one of it’s best settings. More on that when we get there for now FLASHBACK

Back in College, we see Nat’s change into envy as she sells all her stuff for some bitching new boots and cd’s and during sex with Scott asks him to start calling her Envy. Their still somewhat happy, as the next flashback has Scott remembering their 8 month anniversary and her playfully mocking him as the girl.. before we get a much starker one of him telling her he loved her and her not responding.. and looking at him.. more.. bored than anything. 

Back in the present our heroes try to wait out the rain under a bank thing, can relate to the times i’ve visted the city and came out to rain, and when that fails Kim says she’s off and will see them at practice and tells Stephen to blow her when he asks her if she’s going to Honest Ed’s, then seems genuinly confused if he pissed her off before heading home. Swing and a miss stevie, swing and a miss. 

Scott is hungry and sorta drags Ramona, whose not in the mood for anything, over to Pizza Pete’s a nearbye eatery. It’s there they happen to run into Other Scott... Other Scott is another guy named Scott. He dosen’t do much in the books. But the name Other Scott is objectively funny and he is objectively nice so he’s fine in my book and I applaud the movie for using him as Wallace’s love intrest. Though I wouldn’t be REMOTELY suprised if they were fucking in the books too. And of course with him is Wallace himself, who really is just.. entering this volume in the most Wallace way possible. 

A little drunk, eating some cheap but good food, with a million dollar style and in just the exact right place at the exact right time. If that’s not Wallace Wells, I don’t know what is. Wallace and Other Scott were clubbin, not a huge suprise given Wallace has his own deep and complicated social life we never see and Wallace is naturally a little bit absolutley livid when he finds out Scott went to see Envy’s show anyway despite you know, putting him in a misery coma. Who do you think has to clean you and feed you when your like that Scott? Elves? Well I mean .. Wallace MIGHT be an elf.. but he stilld soen’t want to do either of those things.  He breifly gets sidetracked by the fact that Scott is wearing his shirt.. maybe. I mean he wore it the other day but given their living situation it’s honestly hard to tell. Ramona reminds him of his priorites

That’s part of the fun of rereading these again so soon after rereading them in december: I’m noticing tons of little moments like this I didn’t really before. The two explain things, including Ramona pointing out Scott’s extra stupid around Envy. I mean it’s a bit mean to point out given this is clearly a lot for him. 

Wallace brushes it off and promises to help him train like a true pal before being prompted to talk about this new boy he picked up Mobile.. who we wont’ see in person for a while but Wallace is clearly head over heels for and begs Scott to let him have the apartment.. or more accuratley Ramona, whose clearly not in the best of moods with Scott, to take him. His sales pitch is immaculate

So she agrees and a friendship is forged based on mutual hatred and being someone’s dipping sauce bitch. I’ve forged longer lasting friendships on far less. Also Wallace forgot his keys but wisely banked on his Gladstone Gander esque luck to help him out.. seriously i’m convinced he has a lower yield version of that. Or God wants to bang him but can’t because his penis is so powerful it CAN SPLIT A MOUNTAIN IN TWAINNNNN. You make the call. 

So they sleep it off, and Scott heads home early next morning.. and forgot he gave wallace his keys. Thankfully wallace finds him, and even got him donuts for when he came back, what a guy, makes you cry and I did. He also shows off a new trick about using your chi to dust rain off you. Turns out Mobile is psyhich which.. dosen’t come into play but for vallad reasons: Scott assumes Mobile can just.. give him psyhic powers and training but a) he and Wallace JUST met and while they’ll remain together for the rest of the series, it’s a big ask to have him help train his best friend to fight a man as dumb and chisled as a mountain, and B) “It dosen’t work that way” meaning scott’s probably not psi adept and even if he can be taught, there’s not NEARLY enough time for him to get good enough at shielding himself from Telkenisis in time given Todd’s already fighting him today and has two other oppprotunites afterwords to beat his ass to death. There’s just not enough time. So scott collapses with a donut in his mouth.. are .. are we sure this isn’t just a more attractive more sucessful canadian alternate me? 

We flashback to when Wallace met Envy and since i’ts post-becoming envy, it dosen’t go well and he hates her immidetly, and expects Scott to break up with her asap.. which while  bitchy.. actually woudl’ve been a good move in the long run. And “Bitchily phrased but a good move in the long run” has apparently always been Wallace’s go-to move. 

In the present Wallace helps Scott , who thinks everything sucks, realize it does not, with the help of fresh bacon and perspective, helping him avoid thinking Envy is “back” when she’s just vistiing and somewhat forces him to admit it’s not happening again nor should it. And implicity your both with other people, you’ve moved on, stay moved on. ANOTHER Flashback, this time with Envy asking Scott how he and Wallace met after dinner with Scott’s parents. It’s the story we’ve been hinting at since.. uh last volume. 

And indeed it is somewhat gay! Behold! The origin of a friendship to piece the heavens or .. something like that. I’m tired. 

It’s a quick breezy story that honestly both explains a lot and is what you’d expect; Wallace taking an intrest, Wallace presumibly realising Scott is straight off screen but deciding fuck it I like this guy let’s be pals instead, and jjust sorta showing up at his house. But since it’s Wallace and he and Scott both love gaming.. it just stuck. And it’s easy to see why. Scott’s a bit of an introvert and Wallace is a ton of an extrovert. Wallce is nice, naturally charming and endlessly cool, and as you can see it took him probably just an afternoon to go from freaking scott out for showing up randomly, to Scott talking the guy up and clearly being the bosom buddies they are now. The two just ballance each other out well. Wallace need’s scott’s weirdness and general heart, and Scott needs Wallace to keep him from running into the brick walls of life via his own stupidity and conflict avoidance. It’s what they do, they make it a two player game. 

So later that day, and some off screen training later, presumibly to the song Two Player Game despite the fact it didn’t exist yet, our heroes (Scott, Ramona and Wallace), Villians (Envy and Todd) and other not so much evil as just cretionus assholes (Stephen and Julie) arrive. It’s also clear that Envy just made up the challenge as she went and I fucking love it, just saying they’ll run to the back, try and kill each other and no psychic powers, with Scott’s own handicap being “He isn’t a surivivor” which earns a rightful you unebleiviable bitch from wallace and a just ast rightful “fair enough” from Scott. 

Stephen wonders what the deal is and Julie’s answer is... I don’t.. I can’t unpack this. 

Meanwhile Wallace says “I hate her so much” Which I THINK was meant for Envy, but as a teen I interpited as being for Julie. Then again it being BOTH is entirely possible given no one can stand Julie for more than five mintues other than Stephen. And that’s because he’s still in the closet and hasn’t come out as bi or gay and thus sees her as a safe option or he really sucks with his taste in partners. Or a little from collumn a , a little from collumn b. So yeah Scott wants a Strategy and Wallace has.. nothing other than “Well he can’t use his powers so.. use that. I guess.. I dunno. I’m hungover” though Ramona warns he can’t go long without using them without freaking out. So gooood? I’m starting to think Kim is the most useful member in his crew for this fight.. and she’s the one who decided to nope out of it because she didn’t want to watch his ex pick him apart mentally and her muscly new boyfriend pick him apart with MIND BULLETS. Wallace isn’t really helping this go round, though he’s still a treasure, Ramona is trying but dosen’t have much, and Stephen thought bringing Julie was in any way shape or form a good idea. Which really sums up their entire relationship so it’s not surprising, it just makes me question why the two are friends at all. 

No really,  out of Scott’s three close friends.. this friendship feels the most like two guys who just used to hang out but have no real reason too other than convience. Wallace would go to bat for scott.. with an actual bat.. to Envy’s skull. He just dosen’t want to go to jail.. again. Kim pines for him, pun intended, and also does care, she just dosen’t show it because scott’s kinda a moron parade and an insenstivity brunch rolled into one. So she sticks around even though it hurts to. Stephen.. lost his big shot in part due to Scott (Though Envy’s pushness and lack of consideration for his feelings didn’t help), his shrew of a girlfriend hates him and he’s not that good at bass... and I just got it. While Tornoto’s a big city , he’s probably not sure if Kim would be doing this without Scott. He’s.. entirely still his friend because he needs a bass player and kim’s a damn fine drummer whose hard to replace. I just got it.. it makes him a self serving douchecanoe for only being someone's friend because he needs a bass player even though he doesn’t like him, but I at least GET IT now. 

 So the rush into Honest Ed’s begins and.. my god this whole sequence is sublimely redelcous. It feels like what would ACTUALLY happen if two guys fought for the reasons scott and todd are fighting: just two idiots dinking around in a discount store. Scott dosen’t even last a few seconds before shouting in response to Todd’s taunts “We are all dead”, tripping while looking for eyeware and well..

Meanwhile Todd starts to break down while shouting FATHEERRRRRRR like all good psychics. As for how long this beautiful nonsense has been going on....

Oh and if you thought it hadn’t gotten redicously hilarious enough... wait till you see what’s next. 

No words.. should’ve.. sent a poet.. got a tubby asshole who reviews comics, disney shows and disney comics instead.... 

So we then get a montage in todd’s head with his SHOCKINGLY OLD dad telling him he dosen’t have the willpower to be a vegan.. Lynette telling him she’s his for the taking and Envy will never know as she opens her shirt, and 

Gideon.. showing he not only consults the league but confriming what the audience and scott realized: He’s behind these assholes.. but it also shows how much. He’s actively coaching them.. and granted we KNEW the exes were in contact with one another given Lucas was having an understandable sigh about Matthew.. but this shows Gideon isn’t just some player and this isn’t some automated service. He brought them all together. The how ends up being hilarious, and we’ll get to that but while it was obvious he was the final boss this is a nice and terrifying bit of clarification. As for what happened next.. well Todd freaks out with his powers from not using them

Really sad in hindsight.. but still really funny despite the horrifying concidence. So yeah our hero declares victory but dind’t really when and things just kinda end. This segment went basically nowhere and acomplished nothing. .but was still really fun, with great lines and is one of the most memorable and awesome scenes in the series.  It also shows the series growth between volumes: Last volume had a lot of cool moments.. but no real plot structure, just a bunch of things that needed to happen to get here. With Volume 3.. things are VERY tightly plotted, and even a fun but kinda pointless diversion like this... still fits in perfectly, giving us a second Scott and Todd fight to build him up, showing off just HOW powerful Todd is, and fleshing out the tofu headed douche a bit. As we’ve seen this volume still has it’s little slice of life moments the series does well. their just well put into a very compelling and fast paced plot, one we’re fully invested in as we see Scott’s torment and Ramona’s mounting anger at envy’s bullshit. It helps that Envy and Todd are the second best big bads of a volume behind gideon himslef in the fimale, with Roxy close at their heels if you were curious. Envy just oozes ego and superiority and is fun to watch every time, while we see moments once in a while that show she’s still human underneath even if she acts like a goddes.. and is admitely one of my types but that’s enough of that. She provides a nice contrast to ramona, also being standofish and mysterious but wheras ramona is clearly mysterious out of shame for a past she’s not proud of Envy is out of a past.. she has no reason to flee from and was never that bad.The only part Envy kept was Todd which was an objectively bad decision. 

Todd meanwhile like all the exes as I re-realized.. is a mirror to scott. Each one has a piece of his worse traits amplified and expanded. So far Patel has been scott’s dorkyness, expanded from 

To being a giant showy hipster douche desperate to seem cool and important. Lucas is scott’s afabliity and laziness taken to just outright avoiding a fight.. not nearly as bad as the others given he still has one of Scott’s best qualities with no drawbacks.  But Todd.. is probably the ex that mirrors scott the second most. Besides both being base players with shaggy hair, both are delightfully stupid, both have a lot of charisma besides that and both are extremley good in a fight.  But noticably.. Todd zigs a lot where Scott zags and the simlarites sort of stop. While both are objectively attractive, Todd is more conventinually chisled while Scott is more adorable, expertly reflected in the movie by having former Superman Brandon Routh opposite former George Micheal, Micheal Cera.  Todd’s ablities are mental while Scott’s are entirely in martial arts and later swordplay. Todd has a rough relationship with his dad who never supported him and constnatly doubted him while Scott’s parents fully support him and love him uncdoitoinaly and despite his protests and annoyance with them.. it’s clear he still cares about them and loves them.  And most damingly.. Scott treats people like garbage sometimes.. but it’s because he’s oblivoius. He’s a finaical burden on Wallace, cheated on Knives, gave Kim no closure, blew up Stephen’s chances at the big time, and in general can be kind of a dick.. but NONE of that is intetnional. It dosen’t make it okay, the books make that clear.. but it’s why we can still root for him: It’s something that can be fixed. Scott hurts people a lot but he lacks gneuinely malicious intent. He leaves a lot of pain in his wake.. but it’s because he’s socially inept, and again and I say this as someone with atusitim myself, defintely on the spectrum , so he dosen’t GET he’s hurting people unless they tell him. Something that will probably not shock you but I relate to and has happened to me in the past, hence while i’ll clal him a douche or stupid, because he’s both, I do sympathize with the guy as the whilrwilnd of descrution is just him being so intent on being seen as a good person and moving past things he can’t see the wreckage in ihs wake, and the series is about him growing past that mindset. 

Todd.. is just an entitled dick who KNOWS he’s probably going to hurt people but does the things anyway because he thinks as a rock star he can do whatever he wants. As a Vegan he’s superior so he’s allwoed to do WHATEVER he wants. He’s so obessed with making his dad not see him as a failure he’s developed an Ego that can only be visualized properly using well.. Ego

That’s what his ego has become. He’s so up his own ass his head is coming out of his mouth somehow. He’s so in love with himself he’s probably googled “How to make a sexy clone of yourself”. He’s scott’s oblivoiusness and selfishness, but with genuine intent. He’s scott if he KNEW what he was doing was wrong.. and said fuck it anyway i’m a rockstar baby. Todd, is EASILY what scott could’ve been at envy’s side had they not broken up.. successful.. but an utter bastard who only cares about themselves.  Anyways we cut to practice that night were Stephen is spiraling and Kim declines going to the show.. not for the obvious reasons of wanting to avoid another round of “watch Envy tourture scott before Todd beats his skull in with his psychic powers”, but because she has a date. Lucky bastard. The guys are naturally as tactful as you’d expect about this and suggest she’s doing a collage or puzzles before she shuts htem down and they awkardly recover and I laugh my ass off. 

So Scott and Ramona head out, trading some talk and what have you and having some Sushi, not going there often because they can’t afford it.. but it’s cool Scott swipied Wallace’s card. When pressed on his douchebaggery Scott assures her. 

We’ll get more into this next time, but needless to say Scott’s mooching is finally becoming a plot point next time. Speaking of next time on the way to the show Ramona realizes “Wait why the hell are we doing this” and convinces Scott not to go as they can relax, have a night off, cuddle and stuff, and then Scott can fight Todd tommorow at the big show. Why DO they need to sit in with two assholes who are only inviting them to fuck with their heads some more. Well okay one asshole while Todd is okay with all this he probably just mubled some “sure whatevers” while trying to solve a rubix cube while Envy outlined her plans to him before rearanging the stickers so he could win.. I Mean with his mind so it’s sitll a little impressive but still. 

So they TRY making out, complete with being in their undies.. but it just dosen’t work as both of them keep picturing Envy’s face and that’s not good for either of them.

AND it was at this point fucking tumblr.. ate an hour’s worth of work I just did. Probably not something you need to know or care about but something that pisses me off greatly as I was approaching the end of the review and now have to either retype or entirely rethink what I JUST spent a while working hard on. 

And this time I mean it. The only reason i’m not giving up and shelving this review for a bit.. is ithat i’m a stubborn bastard who refuses to give up that easily and who needed to vent about this to somewhere. 

So Ramona finally comes clean about Todd.. and in a nice moment admits to cheating on Lucas with him “It wasn’t very nice but I wasn’t a nice person”. It’s a small thing, something I didn’t notice before.. but it’s actually a big step given how guarded Ramona is to admit to doing something this bad. Last volume, just a few days ago time wise, she lied entirely about this and probably has no idea Scott knows already. But she’s being honest, telling him the truth so he’ll be prepared for what’s coming and know the full story.  The full story is they were both little shits who raised hell together till Todd disappeared for a while. He shows up as you’d expect, dickishily interupting class before explaning Dairy Scientests kidnapped and experimented on him. He also says this

So he proves his love. in the most badass and horrifying way possible: BY MAKING ONE OF THE TWO BIG NOTICABLE CRATERS ON THE GODDAMN MOON. 

One of the series best jokes. Ramona also takes a hard pass to learning about envy and asks about Kim... not for any reason.. just thinks sh’es nice. It’s not like she wants to make out with her face.. a lot. Just.. girl things. SHUT UP. She’s also unsatisfied with Scott’s piss take version of his relationship with her.  Closing out the chapter, Knives.. has somehow climbed a huge pile of billboardsi n the middle of tornoto.. which would be awesome.. if it weren’t such a beautifully sad image. 

Whelp my heart just exploded with pain at this poor girl whose lost the love of her live, which is a goood thing mind you but dosen’t mean it dosen’t hurt less, her faviorte band and her highlights all in the span of a month.  Moving on as we approach the final act, we get a brief scene as Todd orders some Gelato, which is itallian icec ream, very not vegan and Envy does not relaize this. Todd however rants about being a rock star, being so above people and as for the rules

We also get this lovely bit

And then they make out and i’ts treated as a big shocker despite.. us.. finding that out several dozen pages ago. We know already. 

Back at Scott and Wallace’s place, Ramona shows up with cool new blue hairdoo, which I agree with Wallace is awesome and admits she changes her hair up every couple of weeks.. someething that in the color version we do see better. We also get a gag that no longer makes sense as he asks if that’s her natural haircolor and she says yay and the caption admits this was funnier in black and white. Eh one or two jokes for some really pretty colors is a fair enough trade. 

Scott however once again bitches about his hair, despite Ramona pointing out to him and Wallace that.. there’s like dozens of haircut places within walking distance. I remain unsuprised thier that oblivous. But to shut her boyfriend up she agrees to cut his hair and while they do asks what Envy’s actual name is.. scott’s response .. is pretty heartbreaking “Natalie. She stopped liking it. Then she stopped liking me.  So Scott shows up with his NEW HAIR CUT.. aka his old one just trimmed up a bit, but the one you see in modern merch and the game. A bit shaggy but not as long. Scott reassures Stephen whose spiraling with panic that it won’t be the same as last time and they’ll have fun. Kim, understandably and having not been told anything, wonders what “last time was”. After everyone chimes in Kid chamelon i’ts time for another FLASHBACK.. as you were probably expecting by now.. but this time I added some proper effects to spice it up. 

So we find out more of whta drove a wedge between the two: Envy slowly but surely took a tryanical death grip on the band, adding some guy named Joel on the drums, possibly the same guy from Crash and the Boys, and bumping Scott to bass, without asking him or Stephen about this and just sorta.. demanding it. While her intetnions are understandable, she just wants the band’s best sound.. her actions are still head tiltingly obnoxious, and clearly show she had not studied rock history yet as usually taking absolute control of the band and ignoring your band mates is the easiet way to destroy a band. Sometimes it’s just envy, pun unintneded but welcome, but yeah.. it’s no wonder they didn’t last. Scott is also shown to be more and more uncomfortable with the band going from a fun thing he did with his friend and girlfriend.. to something that could make him famous.. something he’s very transparently not ready for and dosen’t want.  And it makes sense: he was just a dumb college kid in love.. he didn’t start the band for fame or glory.. he just wanted to have fun. Same with his current band. And while in the PRESENT his lack of ambition can be obnoxious and will be a problem in the next volume, here.. he’s still in college and sudeenly got thrust into a career he dosen’t want with a person who no longer loves or respects him. It’s understandable that he’s a nervous , miserable wreck. 

So in the present, Stephen is throwing up and asking for julie and Scott.. is a dick and ignores him. Were it anyone else and any other relationship currrently int he books I would actually give a shit. So he wonders around a bit, running into some teens who are intrested in him, word travels fast apparently, Julie, who for once displays a human emotion of concern for Stephen or the closest she can, and thankfully Wallace, Stacey and Micheal,who now has a spooky skeleton ring from the future and badly needs his own spinoff. Stacey TRIES to pump her brother up.. but it’s clear he’s in no good mental place for that and trudges off while Wallace, man of the year, worries about him.  One GOOD THING about the astronomical setback that happened is in the orignal draft of this.. I forgot to talk about Stacey. Despite promising to. So here it goes: After this Stacey.. just sorta vanishes from the series. She’s still around and while not super promient gets a decent amount of screentime in the finale, she makes cameos before then. But from this book on she’s no longer a main character like she was in the first two books. There she had several scenes, lots of focus, and her own mini arc in the first one about Wallace stealing her boyfriends. There’s. an actual reason for this as O’Malley regretted naming her after his sister and thus basically stopped writing her unless he had to, sticking her in once in a while to assure fans he hadn’t forgotten her but removing her from the main plot.  That being said while his reason is weak.. I dn’t think it’s the ONLY reason she slid into the background. The main cast already had 6 characters, and on top of that this volume heavily focuses on Envy, the next adds Lisa Miller to the mix, and every volume frmo this one on has increased focus on the ex of the week, building them up more as characters and giving them way more screen time. Stacey.. really didn’t have a unique niche or roll in the sotry the other 5 non-scott leads didn’t: Knives filled out the position as the baby of Scott’s friend group, Ramona and Wallace served as better voices of reason, Kim and Wallace had better chemistry with Ramona and thus worked better as her friends, and Stpehn. did nothing she did but still at least had a part to play as band leader and the only one of Sex Bomb-Omb with ambition. Stacey is not a bd character and DID deserve to still be  way more prominent.. but her move to the back let Kim take her place and rightfully so. And not just because of the crush on kim thing, Kim’s just more compelling and tha’ts an objective fact. Still would’ve been nice to learn more about Stacey though. 

Scott then frees his girlfriend from a conversatoin with Sandra and Monique, as Julie bitchily told both about Gideon which Envy told her about, because as your every couple of paragraphs reminder, Julie is a piece of shit. Scott then orders them some alchols, breaking his usual teetotling and runs into kim, hollie and joseph. with Hollie here to see the band and .. Joseph here to see todd. At least h’es honest.. for this volume. Anyways, our happy couple soon split off for a bit and while we bounce back and forth.. i’m just going to cover what hapepned with each seperately as SOMEHOW tumblr once again ate a good hour’s worth of work, this review is already a day late, and I have both abother one and a dental apointment today. So in short

Ramona and Kim: Kim fills Ramona in on her past.. via  tone down, seemingly contridctary, and as we’ll find out later the true version of what happened: She was with Simon, he was a dick, Scott showed up he was also a dick, things happened. I guess. Ramona is disapointed, though Kim does provide some crucial info on her moving to tronto.. and reuniting with scott. 

It honestly.. explains a LOT of why Scott is the way he is what happened with Envy. He saw Envy change entirley as a person.. and thus feels changing as a person , and smoking, is a sign of something bad.. when really it just means.. your changing. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst but we area LWAYS changing and it took me a lont time to realize that. The two are distracted from this though by Todd sloppily making out with Lynette in front of everyone. 

We’re also reintroduced to Crash and the Boys, now redubbed the boys and crash, and seemingly playing music without intsturments. The thorughly lovely and rediculous explinaton for this and their new gloves and goggles, i’ll save for in a bit. 

Scott and Envy, Scott and Knives: Scott goes out to get some air.. only to find Envy, who despite menally tourturing him for a few days insits they talk like regular people.. Scott wisely counters with “Nat when did we ever talk like real people” and while saying he won’t get to call her that again, it still chips down her walls for a second and shows that a bit of who she used to be, loath as she is to admit it, is still there. 

Scott then spots knives... and has a moment of truth. And a hell of a series of reaction panels

It’s a VERY good scene.. that i’ve written about TWICE now but regardless, it shows Scott.. genuinely changing. Ignoring his past actions, running away from them and trying to pretend he never fucked up once... that’s been his go to. It’s his main flaw and hte one that takes the entire series to deal with as we’ll get into. And it’s here.. he faces it for the first time. He’s scared of knives at first.. but realizes.. he genuinely hurt her, and she’s where she is, cold, alone, and huddled in an ally lost and confused, because of him. Sure Envy hurt her.. but so did he.. and what’s worse. he did it just like Envy hurt him. Not thinking of her as a persona nd throwing her away when he didn’t need her. And so after books of build up.. he finally takes some responisblity and talks to her. It’s WHY the books work: Sure scott’s a dick, and remains a bit of one throughout, but.. he means well, isn’t inteitonally a standoffish prick, and slowly grows PAST this, and tries to be better, for Ramona.. and just because it’s the right thing to do. 

So Knives reflects on the past few weeks, admitting that it’s been unbearably painful.. but she can’t and won’t go back to who she used to be. She’s lost her innocnce and all that, been dumped by the “love of her life”, been punched in the face by her faviorite drummer and treated like dogshit by her faviorite artist. Todd did nothing for once but gets no credit because of who we’re dealing with here. Point is.. it was a lot and while sh’es not HAPPY.. she’s greatful for it. Scott however.. steps up, saying what Envy did was wrong, she deserved better.. and finally, after how terribly he broke up wit hher.. apologizes for how he hurt her. And while Knives takes this as hope they’l get back together, Scott continues to be very mature, especially for his usual behavior, telling her no, it won’t happen, to give neil a try as whle she is dating him because he looks like Scott he’s not all bad, and that wallce was right: she was too good for him. And while Knives isn’t ready to accept it.. Scott did the right thing. Good for you man. 

So while he, and later kim and stephen seperatly, get ready, Ramona.. runs into Envy. Whose oddly nice for ahlf a second.. before bringing up Gideon and giving Ramona a barrage of insults, clearly trying ONCE AGAIN, to knock her down and wreck her. Thing is while Scott clearlya nd understandably has baggage with Envy is easy prey for her manipulative elephant dung, Ramona. isn’t. All Envy’s done is piss her off more and more with each act of high school level mean girl bullshit... and sh’es done with it. 

FIGHT’S ON. This Volume.. is honestly where Ramona really comes into bloom, pun intended, as the duetragonist of the books. While the book IS about Scott getting his life together and their relationship and he’s still her hero.. the books are also about RAMONA growing as a person, her own flaws and past, and the climax of all of them.. is just as much about her as it is scott. And this book has her own flaws come into play: Just like Scott she runs from the past, from who she was, and only faces it when needed, which will become more apparent as we go. But at the same time, we get to see far more of her personality as a result as her mysterious facade continues to drop. She’s prone to getting upset, but also clever and witty and knows her limits, knowing that going to that second performance would’ve just done no good and knowing herself very well, something Scott has genuine trouble with. She’s strong, sarcastic and knows who she is and what she wants and this volume finally brings that into focus. Not only that but her fight with Envy, is just as warranted, climatic and awesome as Scott’s fight coming up, as no one has stood up to envy due to her fame.. but Ramona.. dosen’t care. Someone’s gotta stop her, and Ramona’s taking up the job. And the awesome looking hammer. 

That being said taking up a giant hammer against a beloved celebrity dosen’t win you any point, so Ramona finds herself discouraged, even if Envy can very clearly handle herself. Thankfully she gets some encouragment from exactly who you’d expect. 

And Wallce.. turns out to be pretty useful. At least in this one fight. His shouting not only gives Ramona her fight back.. but keeps distracting envy, leaving her wide open. The tide turns though when Wallace has to pee, and Envy uses the distraction to knock the hamme rout of Raona’s hand and prepare to flatten her. But once again.. someone save sher in the knick of time.. and this time it’s the LAST person you’d expect, as Knives gives the hammer a flying kick.. and then crashes into a wall, and when Ramona, understandably not getting this since she tried to turn her into swiss cheese earlier this week, asks why, Knives admit’s she just wants Scott to be happy. Knives has grown too, and while she’s still obessed with Scott and waiting for themt o break up.. she’s no longer going to try and wedge her way in. If Ramona is what Scott wants, tha’ts what he gets. 

All three are distracted by well.. this...

State of your outfits mates. Though that line is iconic. But serously the outfits are hilaroiusly and reaslitically mismatched. Kim’s home made and overdone gothica lolita outfit that dosen’t match her AT ALL, goth yes , poofy goth no. Stephen’s johnny cash outfit he clearly had lying around and Scott’s Dad Suit. 

That being said.. still the best looking one of the three. But Envy takes advantage to regrab the hammer and try and murder the two of them.. but Scott sees this.. and well... you get it by now, one more time. Bake me away toys!

So we get the final weeks or days or whatever of the relationship. In a nice parallel to Scott playing Ramona a song he does the same for Envy.. who both questions what this is for then is confused why he’d do something so sweet. Next scene is her getting a call while their cuddling in bed from some guy she idntiefies as Jason and.. barely disguises is clearly cheating on Scott with. and could possibly be todd I dunno.  After that we get to Kid Chamelon preparing to sign a deal and Envy.. trying to press Scott into sginging it, ignoring his obvious discomfort, and then casually threanting to replace him. While Scott does give us a face punchingly dickish comment about “How he started this band to meet chicks and maybe he met the wrong chick”... he’s still somehow in the right as while he’s being a manic dickhead... Envy has ceased seeing him as a person or even something she cares about and tells him to get a hair cut and leave. 

We then get the breakup itself as Scott goes up to envy.. and she tells him to get out of her life. ack in the present, Scott’s grown enough to realize he has to stop her and does so.. by touching hte back of her knee which.. uhhhh.

So yeah.. he beat her with an orgasm, and that looks oddly hot. And i’m moving on before that last part of the sentence sinks in. Envy, once she recovers, orders Todd to do a murder on them, but Todd’s not there and Ramona, naturally, brags about him having cheated on her. Envy.. denis.. this. 

I .. don’t have time to unpack that. This review is late, I have two other reviews to get to today. Time for ANOTHER flashback. 

This time it’s Envy teling a story bok verion of her and Toddd’s relationship. It’s a real poetic and well done sequence. In a nuthsell: Envy and Todd were best friends and deeply in love as kids until todd moved away i’m guessing sometime in middle school. Deeply depressed, Envy sailed through life as sort of a ghost, TRYING to find another connection like that, but failing. Todd returned after she graduated though, and gave her a symbol of his love.. a hole on the moon. Yes another one. And they both promised to never waiver as he went off to the vegan academy. Clearly Envy did with Scott... but it paints her ambition in another light. One where she wanted to be big and bold enough for him.. but slowly carved out her old self to do so. 

And as is obvious it was pointlness: not only did Envy love someone else.. but Todd never cared as much as she did. As Ramona points out, and relcutnantly because even she feels a little bad about this one, he did the moon trick with her.. and this time Envy CAN’T deny it.. becaue the evidence is right there. 

And of course Todd.. makes his case even WORSE by picking that moment to come out of the bathroom, sipping up his pants, with panties on his head, and with Lynette following right after him. Envy.. tries to murder Lynette, her go to, but LYnette teleports out. Because she can do that. Though Envy does hit her cyborg arm so she looes that and the panties and Ramona offers to mount it at her place if Kim takes the panties, but kim admits she wasn’t scrapbooking, she said she was and was just making the dress. Horay, as ramona puts it “Col se can still be friends. Right.. FRIENDS. 

Envy TRIES to cave Todd’s skull in, get some therapy woman, but Todd naturally tk’s it away but despite being the king of all assholes DOES care enough not to fight her. Envy... plays nice then knees him in the nuts like he fucking deserves. Todd then returns to being the once and future douchebag by TK’ing her into the crowd and bragging about it. 

Scott dosen’t take this well, even after everything and the final fight begins. They have a bass fight.. but like the game i’ts redicuously one sided since Todd both is a skilled bassist compared to Scott.. and is still using his psychic powers lest you forget he’s a bastard man. 

The Boys and Crash however show up to even the odds.. and their trainig is the reason they can play music without insturments as they can now manipulate pur sound. Fucking beautiful. But even they aren’t enough and Todd swats them aside. 

While poorly is a bit harsh.. the vegan police show up, which is awesome, though the movie got thomas jane for one of them and had that high five so they win. But yeah.. while this is hilarous.. and the scene with them is great.. it’s also the weakest part of an otherwise near perfect book. It just feels a bit anti clmatic that after all this build up.. Todd is just.. beaten with a sloppy depower. The boys and crash would’ve still been a cop out, but it would’ve been a freaking cool cop out.  The thing that saves it is afterwords Scott still gets an epic finish: after they devganize him for the gelato earlier, scott headbutts him epicly and wins. He gets money and. 

A 1-up, which understandibly terrfies him but will come in hand in a few volumes. Trust me. Scot checks on everyone. Ramona’s fine, Envy is not and breifly blames scott before he points out Todd was a no good cheating dickwad, and Kim is obviously fine as nothing happend, but him asking is a nice bit of charcter growth. Kim asks about kinves but she’s okay and neil is helping her. But theshow must go on and since the headliners are dead (don’t worry he’ll respawn), in parts unknown and in emotoinal apocalypse, someone’s gotta play.

So our heroes have the show of their lives, and crowd reaction is mostly positive with Jospeh noticing htier levels were horrible, a hint for next time, and the crew interviewing everyone.. including a mysterous gentleman having a beer, who has no commenta nd walks away. 

 Gideon.. was here the whole time,but he’s not ready for Scott JUST yet. Still a really damn cool tease for the final boss. 

So we close the next day, Scott and Envy sorta make up, with both apologizing for their behavor and while Scott gets no closure, envy promises to return.. and makes good on it. But.. that’s for the finale. For now Scott’s girlfriend and best buddy give him a moment to baste in his pathos, before heading off. And in a nice bit of metaphor, the clouds part, and our three amigos walk off into the sunset and a bright future. Three down 4 to go.  Next time: Lesbian Artist Ninjas! Side Stories! Scott Gets A Job! The Band gets a producer! Kim gets a decent apartment and a boyfriend! Lisa returns! See you in feburary. 

Until then if you liked this review, spread it around andi f ther’es a comic you want me to cover, my comissions are open. Until the next rainbow, it was a pleasure. 

[kinghoranshit]

Tell Me a Lie (NH) Ch 2

Word Count: 1,615

Warnings: swearing?

“Do you have any questions about anything we went over?” I asked as I closed the binder with a marker where we’d decided to stop for this session. After this I’d have to send an email to my manager with updated notes about our meeting. I was hoping it wouldn’t take too long since I needed to read the contract Niall sent me about the PR. 

Maya had a perky smile on her face. “I do not. Thank you so much, Lauren!”

“No problem, I’m happy to be working on this journey with you. I will see you soon to discuss more notes.”

“Talk soon, love.” She waved with the smile still present on her face before I hit on the call. 

We definitely went over the allotted time and I’d have to push back my other client’s appointment to tomorrow. It happened a lot more than I would like, but it was okay. Everything worked out. 

I finished my update email as thoroughly and fast as I could; it included the typed up version of my notes. Once I hit send, my eyes trailed to the email that Niall’s management sent me. I barely tapped the mousepad to open it, or breathed air as I skimmed the first initial part. Though, that wasn’t what I should’ve been anxious for; they were welcoming me to the team. I had to admit, it was bizarre I was considered a team member if I was his PR girlfriend. That didn’t settle right with me, but I knew I’d have to get over it to help my best friend out. 

Finally, I had the contract open in a different tab and actually thoroughly read these paragraphs. A lot of it was the regular legal statements and their management mission statement. What I would be getting in return and what I’d have to do were scripted at the end of it, which were the last two pages out of twenty.

I was required to be seen publicly with Niall a minimum of once a month, be present at all red carpet events during the time of this PR contract, attend a concert in every leg of his upcoming tour, promote all of his singles/albums on Instagram, and be open on social media without exposing any secrets. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone in my life that the relationship was fake, aside from any business partners. I couldn’t shit talk Modest!, Niall, or any of his ex bandmates. I was not allowed to date anyone while under this year long contract, which wasn’t much of a problem for me at the moment.

Their payment was all my debts would be paid in full and marketing support for all my self-published works during the duration of our PR. That included whatever Niall would want to post on social media about them. 

It seemed all pretty self-explanatory to me, and with my current job the travel part shouldn’t be an issue. I would have to confirm with my main editorial manager that it was going to work though. Of course, I would have to finesse the truth a bit with them; they weren’t exactly business partners. 

As I sat back against my wooden chair, Skype began ringing me for a call. It was Niall. That wasn’t at all shocking. 

“What up, nerd?” I answered. 

He busted out a laugh. “Just wanted to call and see how you were doin. Get your thoughts on everything.” 

“I actually just finished reading the PR agreement and contract.”

“And?” He raised his eyebrows as he licked his lips in nerves. 

I smirked lightly. “I’ll do it. What they’re asking doesn’t seem overkill, and it’s a year. We can do that.” 

I noticed him sit down on his couch in his dim living room, which looked to only be lit by the TV; it was probably golf. “Yeah?” 

“Yes.”

He yelled something at the TV before he brought his attention back to our conversation. “You’re sure, Kelly?” 

“I’m positive, Nialler.” I laughed. He was adorable when he got distracted by sports or writing. It was one of the many things I loved about Niall; it never annoyed me. Well, okay, maybe sometimes. But there was nothing I could do about it, and I knew I wasn’t any better at times when I had a show on or suddenly got an idea for a piece. 

“You are seriously a lifesaver. This was the first time they let me find the girl. I promise to make it fun.” 

I cheesed. “With you, it’s already going to be fun. I wouldn’t have considered it otherwise. So I will get these papers digitally signed and sent. Then we can consider the first meet up place?”

“Yeah, yeah. Modest is thinking LA already. They called this morning.” 

“Sounds good.” I nodded. 

Niall looked at me curiously now. “Are you at all nervous? You know how the fandom is.” 

“You mean how every fandom is.” I smirked. “There’s always going to be the toxic side. If you’re looking for it, you’ll find it, but I’m not… I know there’s other things such as safety involved, but under this contract Modest is obligated to give me my own security. I will own them up to that end if I need to.” 

“I hope you won’t when you’re alone.” His eyes were so soft, almost like I could reach out and touch powdered snow. It would be the perfect snow too. It wouldn’t melt, turning into water… It would stay fluffy and sparkly. 

I couldn’t hold back the same feeling he had. I didn’t want safety to become such a concern that I'd need security 24/7. There was no sense in worrying about it. I was someone to just take the hits when they came and get back up afterwards. Which had both it’s good and bad aspects.

I shook my head. “I’m reassuring you now that everything will be okay. I better get the agreement and contract back to Modest.”

He only nodded, blinking his eyes a couple times. “Talk soon, Kelly.” 

“You too, Horan.” 

I knew that this was a tricky road we were about to drive, but we were armed with better defenses. We were adults and could make our own decisions. I knew that this would be more beneficial than harmful. 

***

I waited somewhat patiently for Charlotte to answer the Skype call. I decided I would tell Charlotte about what was going on since she was the co-author of the trilogy Niall would be promoting. It was only fair she knew that the relationship wasn’t real. As for the rest of my friends and family, they wouldn’t know. Niall and I have been friends for years, it would seem pretty believable that we naturally had feelings grow for each other.  

Finally, she answered and her freckled face popped up. “What is it you need to tell me, Laur?”

Seeing her eager face made me actually nervous to lay it all out on her. But I took a deep breath and did it. It needed to be done. There was no beating around the bush. 

“Niall asked me to be his PR girlfriend and I’m gonna do it. I know the risks of this, but he needs my help. They’re going to benefit us by promoting the Stone Cold trilogy. You’re the only person who knows that the relationship is fake, no one else will know that. They can’t.”

Her eyes went wide and she gasped. “Are you serious?”

I nodded. “Completely.”

“Wow, that is crazy… Awesome! You’re about to live the dream.”

I snorted. “Oh for sure. But this means we should get the final version of Stone Cold done as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, of course! This is so exciting!” she gushed, smooshing her cheeks together. 

“It is. It really is.” I laughed, the sound radiating through her side, which caused her husband to peek his head into the camera lens. 

“Hey, Lauren!” He waved with a closed smile. 

I smirked and waved back. “Hey, Jeremy. How goes it?” 

He moved himself beside Charlotte, squeezing in close to her. “It goes well. How about you? How are your projects going?” 

He happened to be a head chief editor at a publishing firm in Chicago. He and I did the same work, but his load was definitely more than mine. He also had the task of looking over the other editors in his division to make sure their work was being done. I was glad to not have that sort of responsibility; even if the pay was more. 

I shrugged. “They’re going well. I’ve only got two at the moment, but once I finish with this one fantasy novel, they’re going to be giving me a memoir.” 

“Memoirs are all I have right now. Not the most exciting if I’m being honest, but it’s alright.” 

I chuckled under my breath. “I can get behind that. I’m definitely enjoying the fantasy and sci-fi right now. Oh, uhm, there is something else I wanted to tell you, J. I’m dating Niall, it’s been a secret for about a year now, but he’s finally ready to go public with it.” 

Jeremy’s smile made my heart tug at the lie. “That’s wonderful!” He lightly whacked Char’s shoulder. “I told you there was something going on. I’m good at reading that sort of thing.” 

“That you are,” I confirmed. That only stirred another weird sensation in me because he truly never was wrong about romantic feelings between two people. He called all of our friends' relationships, regardless if they worked out or not. I wasn't sure what that said about Niall and I then. 

Next: Ch 3

[Masterlist]

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “John Wick” Part 2

Y/N left The Organization 3 years ago for the one reason strong enough to make her settle down: love. But after tragedy crushed her to pieces, she decided to leave The Joker and seek refuge with an old friend and mentor - John Wick. Needless to say The King of Gotham can’t accept his wife running away without a word, especially since he didn’t have a chance to tell her things she might want to hear.

Part 1   Part 3

2 Days Later

You walk down on Cherry Lane Street when you lastly get to your destination: the homeless guy begging for change in front of the fence surrounding Yellow Star bus station. You take out your empty vial and a gold coin from your pocket, dropping them in his cup; might as well take advantage of your numerous resources while visiting the area.

“God bless, miss!” the man rattles the container and you whisper:

“I need a refill for this medication from Dr. Wong.”

“Give us one hour,” he replies in a low tone, then louder. “Thank you, miss! God bless!”

So many people around and nobody notices the courier on a bike swiftly retrieving the ampule from the bum’s fingers.

You start walking away, willing to kill some time until your order is ready: it’s a nice morning and it would be better to wait than drive back to John’s house. In the matter of fact, one of your favorite coffee shops in town is just three blocks further and you have to admit you’ve missed the place. Maybe your gracious host wants something too; better call and find out.

“Hello?” he picks up immediately.

“Hi, I’m going to Kavarna. Should I bring you a drink?”

“Oh, absolutely. Large espresso, quadruple shot.”

“You mean heart attack?”

Jonathan laughs, confirming his strong refreshment.

“Yes, I think that’s the other name for it.”

“Suit yourself,” you lift your shoulders up. “I will become a legend by effortlessly killing Baba Yaga. You don’t have a bounty on your head, do you? I can collect the money also.”

“Nope, no bounty,” he informs, amused at your statement.

“Damn… I’m disappointed Mister Wick, but I will still deliver your coffee because we’re friends,” you decide to be lenient.

“I appreciate your effort,” John smirks and Y/N huffs at his cheekiness.

“It will cost you 3 gold coins!”

“Three?! That’s a rip off,” the complaint follows.

“I had to eat your chicken Alfredo so you owe me,” the reminder makes him snicker.

“Fair enough,” he stretches on the couch and rolls his eyes when the doorbell suddenly rings. “Later,” Jonathan cuts it short, wondering who the heck is bothering him this early in the day.

“Byeeee,” you hang up, continuing your promenade towards 87th Avenue.

“Coming!!!!” he yells since the doorbell is obnoxiously pressed over and over again. “I said I’m coming!” John hurries and yanks at the nob, surprised to see your husband as soon as the door is opened. “Mister J,” he sort of greets the uninvited guest.

“Wick,” The Joker sucks on his teeth, barging in the next second. “Is my wife here?” he eyeballs the living room, completely worn out after the recent sleepless nights.

“No,” the simple response is ignored.

“This is my fifth stop in two days,” J emphasizes his unfruitful quest. “I’m a man of many tricks, yet it’s not easy to find her. Do you mind if I take a look around?” your spouse pretends to be polite while stomping up the stairs, not that he got an OK from the owner of the house.

“Yes, I do mind!” John frowns, closely pursuing The King of Gotham.

“That’s too bad, Wick! Call the cops then!” The Joker barks, glancing throughout the 4 bedrooms upstairs. There’s no trace of Y/N and he descends the staircase, remembering there are 3 more bedrooms on the ground level. “She didn’t contact you at all?” he inquires and freezes when the first inspected room reveals a familiar sight adorning the nightstand: a small shrine containing Kase’s framed picture, a folded blue onesie and the tiniest pair of socks.

J approaches the cherished tokens, annoyed at your friend’s stunt.

“She’s not here, hm?!” his clenched jaw makes it difficult to articulate the words.

“She’s not!” John insinuates the obvious, apparently unconcerned by The Joker’s escalating temper. But that’s only on the surface because he knows what your husband is capable of: in his case it never takes more than a push for a total mood switch.

“Don’t play games with me, Wick!! She’s hiding right here!”

“She’s not hiding! If she was, you’d never find her. You were expected to show up: like I said, Y/N is not hiding! You ask if she’s here and she’s not home. Frankly, Mister J, I don’t remember ever trespassing on your property!”

The Clown Prince of Crime stands in the middle of the room with his mouth opened, appalled he’s being lectured.

“You have some nerve, Wick!” he shrieks, struggling not to snap at Jonathan’s honest remarks. “I’m prepared to overlook the outburst with one condition: don’t text her I arrived. I presume you have her new number?...“

***************

After one hour and a half

“Jonathan, I got your coffee!” you enter the empty kitchen, yet there’s no trace of him. “John?” you set the cup on the counter and turn around at the husky intonation:

“He’s in the courtyard.”

You glare at The Joker with mixed feelings; the only ones he can actually read are hate and disgust.

“What do you want?” Y/N sneers.

He’s more than displeased at your bitterness after tracking you down for days: it would be really nice for you to show some gratitude. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work.

“Is that how you address your partner?!”

“Ex-partner!” you persist and J has to say it:

“I wasn’t aware we divorced!”

“I thought my message was clear,” you interrupt his nonsense before it spirals out of control.

“You left without giving me instructions on what to do with the baby stuff,” your estranged spouse grumbles.

“I told you to do whatever you want with the items I left behind!”

“Meaning?!” he shouts, exasperated.

“Donate them, burn them, put them in the garbage. I don’t care! If you’re confused, request help from your girlfriend! I’m certain she’ll be more than happy to oblige!”

The Joker would normally lose it at this point, however there’s something distracting him from going entirely bonkers.

“My what?!...”

“Your mistress, J ! The woman you’ve been dating! Or are you going to play stupid and deny it? I saw you, ok? So don’t even try your sneaky ways! I’m not five years old!! And definitely not an idiot!” you lash out since you have plenty to mention on the subject. “Is that why you didn’t…” and your voice breaks, “… drive Kase to the Penthouse? Because you had a meeting with her?...”

The King of Gotham has no idea what to do with all the accusations thrown at him; it’s obvious no matter what he utters it’s going to fail.

“I don’t have a mistress, alright?!” his index finger goes straight up in the air.

“Then what were you doing at that woman’s house? Was she polishing your gun?!”

To his own amazement, J has to recollect from your criticism the best way he knows how:

“Nobody’s been polishing my gun!”

Your ears are ringing from the outrage building up in your heart, that’s why you barely discern what he’s pronouncing.

“Murderer…” you mumble and that’s enough to stop his defensive rampage: a plain word that’s been used to describe him a million times, yet it never came from Y/N and not with such a heavy connotation. “You…you were supposed to bring my son home in a car… instead he was brought to me in a coffin… O-only three weeks old…”

The Joker would love to retaliate but you’re crying so hard the only sentence coming out is very far from his intended resentment:

“I know I should’ve driven the car… I didn’t… and I can’t take it back. I also know you tried to kill me; I was pretending to be asleep. If you detest me so much, why didn’t you pull the trigger? It was impossible to miss two inches away from my face.”

The lack of an explanation gives J a nudge in the appropriate direction:

“Do you know why I didn’t react at all? I trusted you wouldn’t do it.”

You keep on wiping your tears and John slides the patio door, apologizing in his own residence.

“Umm…Sorry to intrude: someone just tossed this over the fence,” he shows the couple a piece of paper. “Everything good?” he scans the premises since the tense atmosphere worries him, especially Y/N struggling to regain her composure.

“What’s with that paper?” The Joker growls, dismissing the question.

“It’s a message from The Bowery King, requesting a meeting at your and I quote: earliest convenience for urgent business.”

“Urgent business?...” you repeat, sniffling. “Regarding?...”

“It doesn’t specify,” Jonathan hands you the missive and you’re intrigued.

“He never summons anybody unless it’s important… I’m going,” you decide on the spot, jiggling the keys from your car.

“I’m coming too,” J offers to accompany his distressed wife.

“I’m going alone!” you circle around him and the obnoxious comment annoys an already upset Y/N.

“Fine, but I’m coming with you.”

*************

“Please, take a seat,” the man extends his left arm towards the two chairs located in front of his desk. “I was hoping Mister Joker would join us,” he intertwines his fingers while maintaining a calm smile.

“Can you please tell me why I’m here?” you finally speak after not making a sound the whole trip; you found it useless to launch a conversation: the confinement of a car was overwhelming when your undesired escort couldn’t probably wait for a second chance to fight.

“Of course,” the grin widens. “Though I’m afraid I must open a can of worms; I urge you to acknowledge it’s necessary in order to enlighten the mystery of this gathering. No objections? Awesome,” he wiggles in his beat up recliner, delighted to initiate his debriefing. “Mister Joker, is it true that in the past 6 months you’ve been frequenting a certain establishment belonging to a Miss Evelyn Black?”

“Excuse me?” J leans over the desk and you close your eyes, sickened at the already bad vibe given from the strange situation.

“Sir, please keep in mind I am not a judge and I mean no disrespect,” The Bowery King lifts his arms in surrender. “I am merely trying to aid and I swear it with all make sense in the end. So, Mister Joker, did you or did you not?”

Your husband puckers his lips, muttering mostly to himself.

“Yeah.”

“And are you aware Miss Black accommodates a lot of gentlemen with her busy schedule?”

“Is that her name?” you finally growl, numbness taking over. “Six months?” you don’t give J an opportunity to reply to your first inquiry. “You started seeing that woman six months ago?! When I was pregnant with our son?!” the angered wife is slowly transforming into the person she was before leaving the organization and The Bowery King is relying on it. “Did the sight of me carrying our baby gross you out??!!”

“What?!” The Joker snaps. “What are you talking about?! You didn’t gross me out! How dare you meddling in my private affairs?!” J counterattacks the man’s statement, feeling cornered from both sides. “Who do you think you are, hm?!”

“I didn’t blame you for anything Mister Joker,” the devious individual affirms. “Like I said, I’m no judge.”

“Then what’s the point of this charade?” your spouse yells and it’s a great relief humiliation can’t be measured because you probably surpassed the threshold.

“Did you know that Magnus Stonnenberg is one of her passionate admirers?” The King’s revelation drops the hint and your body instantly stiffens.

“No! Why the hell should I care?!” J yells, unable to control his disposition after what he perceives to be a despicable insult.

“Magnus… Magnus was just declared ex-communicado two days ago,” you disclose, puzzled. “I was at the Continental when it happened: he killed Anuscka Volovdya on hotel’s ground.”

“He sure did,” the man agrees. “Do you know why?”

“If you don’t quit this show, I’m gonna blow your brains out! I don’t care I’m on your territory!” The Joker’s psychotic gaze underlines the threat he’s ready to fulfill; the Soup Kitchen owner takes a deep breath, rushing towards the conclusion.

“Magnus Stonnenberg is a very jealous man, Mister Joker. Maybe he didn’t like the fact you were spending so much time with the lady he adores; he might have even thought you’re her new favorite. There were…” and The Bowery King pauses,”…reported instances when he allegedly attacked, wounded or even killed men that got too close to Miss Black.”

“And how the fuck is this relevant to me?!” your husband is preparing to jump over the desk and squeeze the life out of your insolent host.

“If I may be brutally blunt, sir,” The Bowery King accentuates each term, “you’re a man nobody likes to mess with. So maybe instead of a face to face confrontation, Stonnenberg might have chosen a different approach: if you took something he loved from him, maybe he took something you loved from you?”

“What are you saying?” you ask, perplexed. “He was involved in the car crash that killed my baby?!”

The Joker momentarily forgot his indignation since he can’t believe the sentences pouring out of the man comfortably resting in the recliner.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” The Bowery King smirks. “There’s only one important detail though: your son was removed from the car before it was smashed to pieces.”

J gasps and you cover your mouth with shaky fingers, sobbing at the unexpected revelation.

“My… my son’s alive??!!”

“This is what I managed to find out from my sources: Magnus plotted for a while, waiting for the perfect occasion to strike. The opportunity arose when your child was send home in the vehicle with just one driver at the stop light on Montgomery Avenue; as you know the area is pretty much abandoned. The driver might have thought it was safe to take a deserted route, yet it was Stonnenberg’s chance to strike. It’s not hard to kill one chauffeur, remove a three weeks old from his car seat and replace him with God knows what. It’s not hard if you have accomplices also.”

You’re becoming increasingly agitated and The Joker’s intimidating silence prompts last bits of information.

“It seems Anuscka Volovdya was one of Magnus’s main conspirators. When he didn’t pay her the promised price, she menaced to jeopardize the entire operation. Two days ago at the Continental, Anuscka found out you were there and she planned to confess. Magnus couldn’t have that happen so he executed her even if that resulted in him being declared ex-communicado. I assume it’s better to have your revenge no matter the consequences, if the final result is the same: you’ll never know your son didn’t die in the car accident.”

“Are you sure Kase is still alive? Where is he?” Y/N whispers in disbelief.

“Not sure, but I’m working on finding out as we speak,” The Bowery King reassures and you abruptly stand up from your chair, deciding it’s time to bail.

“Thank you very much! Spare no expense in finding out what really happened to my baby! I will be back with compensation,” you storm out of the room and The Joker follows, fuming at the shocking news.

“Slow down, would you?” J grabs your hand and it’s enough to make you burst. You aggressively push him away, hissing:

“This is all your fault! You couldn’t keep it in your pants and now I have no idea where our baby is! I don’t know if anybody feeds him, changes him or holds him!! Or maybe he was abandoned in a ditch to die anyway!!”

“I didn’t sleep with that woman, do you understand?! What the hell is wrong with everybody?!”

Y/N has no more tears to cry and no more endurance for lies; she has a purpose again and it doesn’t include the man she considers her ex.

You rush on the convoluted hallways, ignoring his justifications and almost bite one of The King men’s head off that is brave enough to verbalize what the rest of the crew is curious about:

“Hey Y/N, are you back?”

“YES, I AM BACK!!” the ferocious attitude makes him shrivel up while placing his rags in the locker:

“Jesus, I was just asking…” he quietly protests, glad to see you are exiting the building without further retribution.

You are the first one to get in the car and immediately lock it before J gets in.

“Hey, open up!” he knocks on the window and has to step aside when you race out of the parking lot in a frenzy.

“Are you serious?” he flares his arms around when John steadily drives up to him; your friend was patiently waiting outside since he didn’t want to intrude on the meeting.  

“Need a ride?” Jonathan suggests and The Clown gets in the SUV, simmering with vexation. “What happened?” the question instigates a candid reaction:

“I fucked up.”

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattapad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[noona-clock]

Which One? Ji Soo - Part 8, Final Chapter

Genre: Coffee Shop!AU

Pairing: Ji Soo x You

Warnings: None

Prologue, Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Epilogue  | Words: 2,838

For once, you arrived at The Mug before Jane. You figured it was because she was coming with her boyfriend, and she had probably triple-checked his outfit to make sure he looked as presentable as possible.

It didn’t really matter, though, because the line was a little bit longer than usual.

By this point, you were starting to worry about Ji Soo’s health.

Joo Hyuk’s too, of course. But... Well. Ji Soo was... not your boyfriend, really? But kind of? Maybe not officially but unofficially?

Either way, you couldn’t help but worry about Ji Soo more. And you were worried about his health because the shop only seemed to be getting busier. They still had yet to hire a part-time employee to help, so you decided as you joined the line to order that tonight you would do your very best to convince him.

You would even resort to wearing him down with kisses if you had to.

If you had to.

Ha!

As if it would be such a chore to kiss him.

The sound of a guitar tuning distracted you from your thoughts of Ji Soo’s lips, and you turned around to locate the source of the noise.

A makeshift stage had been set up at the back of the shop, and the band - Day8 - were presumably setting up and preparing for their set in about half an hour.

Your eyes scanned the one, two, three, four, five guys, each one focused on their respective instruments and -- 

Wait.

...Hold on a second.

...Was -- was that --?

You hastily turned back around to face the register, and to be honest, you didn’t even try to hide the panic on your face.

Was it too late to call Jane and cancel?

You glanced at the register, seeing Ji Soo was taking orders tonight. And he was also looking right back at you.

So, yes. It was too late to cancel. Ji Soo had now officially seen you, and if you left with no explanation, he would most likely worry. Or at least wonder and ask you later where’d you gone.

And why.

Oh, boy.

You really didn’t want to tell him why, but you knew you needed to.

So you spent the next five minutes waiting anxiously in line, tapping your fingers against your thigh, biting your lip, and forcing yourself not to turn around. It was already likely he would recognize you from the back, you did not need to make it easier by letting him see your face.

When you finally approached the counter, Ji Soo’s brow furrowed.

Of course, he had noticed your less-than-comfortable expression and body language.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in a low, quiet voice.

You let out a deep breath, forcing yourself to smile as you answered. As if that would help make things okay.

“So, uh, this guy I kind of sort of used to date for like three months but it was a couple years ago, seriously it was only three months, I don’t think we even officially became boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever, is in the band.”

Ji Soo blinked.

“He’s what now?”

“He’s... in the band.”

His gaze flicked back behind you, and you could feel your features contorting even more in discomfort and awkwardness.

“Which one?” he muttered.

Before you’d turned away in fear of being recognized, you’d been able to discern he had a different hair color than what you were used to and you figured that was probably the easiest way to point him out.

“The, uh -- the one with the orange hair.”

You watched as Ji Soo’s eyes narrowed a bit, and he didn’t even look back at you when he asked, “With the bass guitar?”

You nodded.

“What’s his name?”

Ji Soo’s voice had changed. Just barely, but you still noticed.

“Brian,” you squeaked.

Ji Soo didn’t say anything for a few moments, and when he finally tore his gaze away from your not-really-ex, you could tell he was trying not to be upset.

Truly, he had nothing to be upset about, and you were ready to tell him that when he cut you off before you had the chance.

“Green tea latte?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” you answered, your brow knitting together. “Thank you. You’re amazing.”

I love you.

Wow, wait, what -- no, no, no, no -- nope, you did not just think that, you did not. You were going to pretend that particular thought did not cross your mind, and you were going to bury it way, way, way, way deep down. Those three words had absolutely no business popping up in your brain like that. Absolutely none. Bye.

Ji Soo simply nodded without saying anything in return, so you reached out and put a reassuring hand on his forearm.

“Can you make my latte with extra kisses?” you asked quietly. “I’m in desperate need of them.”

Your plan worked, and Ji Soo’s lips quirked into a soft smile. “Your wish is my command, my lady,” he murmured.

You squeezed his arm once more before turning and head off to find a group of three chairs or a small table. And once you located one and sat down, you immediately got out your phone and called Jane.

“Hey, I’m sorry, we’re almost there,” she answered.

“Jane, Brian is here.”

“...Brian? What, that guy you dated a couple years ago?”

“Yes, that Brian. He’s in the band they booked.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Jane gasped. “He did play guitar, didn’t he?”

“Bass guitar, yes. I had no idea --”

“Y/N?”

On instinct, you turned your head to look up at whoever had just spoken your name...

And you almost dropped your phone when you locked gazes with him.

“Jane, I gotta go,” you muttered before clumsily hanging up the phone and springing up from your chair.

“Brian,” you greeted awkwardly, forcing a smile onto your lips. “Hi.”

“Oh, my gosh, I thought I saw you waiting in line,” Brian chuckled as he lifted his arms up and out, pulling you into a hug. “Hi! God, it’s been so long. How are you?”

“I’m -- I’m fine,” you told him. You pulled away as quickly as possible without making it too obvious you were feeling incredibly uncomfortable. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” he beamed. “Really great.”

“So, you’re -- you’re in a band now,” you pointed out, glancing back at the stage.

“Yep,” Brian chuckled. “We’ve been together for about two years now.”

After the two of you stopped seeing each other, you had unfollowed him from all social media because -- well, that’s just what you did. You didn’t like to dwell too much on the past; you liked to move on and move forward.

You’d thought Brian would be upset or angry, but it sure didn’t seem like it. Maybe enough time had passed for him to have let it all go.

“This place is pretty great, huh?” he asked, that signature smile of his still on his lips.

...You would be lying if you said it didn’t make your heart flutter.

But only the tiniest bit!! And not the same way Ji Soo made your heart flutter. Definitely not.

Brian was just... Brian. He was handsome and friendly and outgoing and charming and funny...

Now that you thought about it, you definitely had a type.

“Yeah, it’s great,” you agreed with a nod. And now was your chance to bring up the other handsome, friendly, outgoing, charming, and funny guy in the shop. “I actually know the --”

“Here’s your green tea latte,” Ji Soo interrupted, coming to stand right next to you. “Babe.”

You turned to receive your mug, tilting your head up and smiling at him. “Hey, thanks,” you murmured. “I was just talking about you.”

“Were you?” he asked with raised eyebrows. You felt him slide a hand over your shoulder and squeeze you there gently.

“Well, I was about to,” you clarified. You then turned back to Brian, leaning into Ji Soo carefully so you wouldn’t spill your drink. “I actually know the owners. Brian, this is Ji Soo, my --”

Oh, god.

You wanted to call him your boyfriend, but the two of you hadn’t discussed that yet. I mean, surely, Ji Soo would be more than fine if you did call him that, but still, you --

“Her boyfriend,” Ji Soo finished, reaching out a hand toward Brian.

If you could let out an audible sigh of relief right now, you would.

Brian’s eyebrows rose just slightly as he shook Ji Soo’s hand. “Hey, nice to meet you. I heard about you guys from Sungjin, it’s nice to actually see you in person.”

“Likewise,” Ji Soo replied.

“So, how did you two meet?” Brian asked.

“Oh, we, uh -- we actually met here,” you explained.

Ji Soo squeezed your shoulder again before he added, “Yep. The first time she came in, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I was working the register, but I left just so I could go talk to her.”

His words made you blush, of course, and you made a mental note to ask him later if that was really true. You very clearly remembered him saying “I’ll get back to you on the boyfriend thing” and winking at you -- how could you forget? -- but you had no idea if he actually hadn’t been able to take his eyes off you. You thought he’d just been trying to charm you to get you to come back to the shop, but...

Brian nodded, smiling at the two of you -- and his smile actually looked genuine. The two of you only dated casually for three months, and that was a couple of years ago, so you weren’t surprised he held no hard feelings (or romantic feelings, for that matter).

“That’s awesome,” he said. “I’m happy for you.”

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry we’re late,” Jane interjected, coming to stand on your other side.

“Oh, no, you’re fine,” you assured her.

And with the arrival of Jane’s boyfriend, whom you’d never met, things were now sufficiently awkward.

Ji Soo, bless him, was able to read the room. He bent and quickly pecked your cheek before excusing himself, announcing he had to get back to work.

Brian politely told Jane it was nice to see her again and, hopefully, they would have a chance later to catch up. And then he turned and headed back to his bandmates.

Thank god.

“Wow,” Jane whispered. “Ji Soo met Brian? I’m sorry I missed that.”

You rolled your eyes but then raised your eyebrows toward the guy she’d arrived with. 

“Oh, right!” she cried before stepping aside to introduce you.

After that, things were a bit more normal. It was definitely weird to watch Brian’s band play -- he hadn’t been in a band while you two dated, but he had played his bass for you a few times once you learned he could play. But they were really good and very enjoyable to watch.

Ji Soo managed to stop by a few times during their set, once to give the three of you refills, and twice just to say hello and meet Jane’s boyfriend.

He introduced himself as your boyfriend, and Jane shot you a very impressed look.

You just blushed. Of course.

At this point, did you do anything else?

When Day8 finished playing just before 9pm, Ji Soo came over and whispered for you to wait back in the office he and Joo Hyuk shared. This was not out of the ordinary; you usually did this if you were here at closing time since Ji Soo wouldn’t let you help clean up and was uncomfortable with you waiting outside in your car by yourself.

You nodded, planning to wait a few minutes, but he nudged you in the direction of the Employees Only door behind the counter.

Most likely, he wanted to avoid another interaction with Brian, and while you knew he had nothing to worry about... you couldn’t blame him. You would probably feel the same way if the situation was reversed.

So you said a quick good-bye to Jane and her boyfriend, took your empty mug up to the counter, and deposited it there before slipping through the door.

It usually took about half an hour for Ji Soo and Joo Hyuk to clean everything up, but you never minded waiting. You would usually watch videos on your phone or scroll through Reddit or Instagram or some other form of social media.

But tonight, Ji Soo joined you just after 9:15.

“Hey,” you greeted, your brow furrowed as you put your phone back into your pocket. “You finished early.”

Instead of answering you, Ji Soo strode up to you, hastily taking your face in his hands and pulling you into a searing kiss.

A surprised hum escaped from the back of your throat, and his kiss was so powerful you had to hold onto his arms to keep from stumbling backward.

He pulled away for a brief moment only to press his lips to yours again and again and again.

“Hey,” you murmured in-between kisses. “Hey, it’s okay.”

And when you managed to evade him (though you didn’t necessarily want to), you reached up to grasp his wrists as he held your face.

“Ji Soo, don’t worry,” you told him, your eyes locked on his. “There is only one person I want to be kissing right now, and I’m looking at him.”

“I know,” he breathed, his brow furrowed deeply. “I just -- I wanted to -- I’m sorry, I’m not usually --”

“Jealousy is a very common human emotion,” you pointed out with a slight smirk.

Ji Soo’s expression changed, and he looked at you as if you were certifiably nuts. “I’m not jealous,” he scoffed. “I have no need to be jealous. Why would you want anyone else when you have me?”

You simply rolled your eyes in amusement and stood on your toes to press your forehead to his. “Exactly. I also think I made a bigger deal out of it than I should have. Brian and I -- we weren’t ever really a thing. It was very casual, which I hated, actually. I stopped seeing him because it had been three months, and I still wasn’t sure where we were going. I just -- I didn’t expect to see him here, and I haven’t spoken to him since then... I panicked. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, baby, I --”

“That’s why I like you so much, though,” you interrupted. “You told me after our first date that you liked me and wanted to see me again. And it’s been, what, two weeks? And you’ve made it very clear you want to be my boyfriend.”

Ji Soo nodded quickly.

“That’s why you are my boyfriend. And why Brian is not.”

You decided not to tell him about the nagging voice in the back of your head. The one which had said ‘I love you’ earlier. And the one which was saying ‘And he’ll be the last boyfriend you ever have’ right now.

Maybe he was hearing that in his head, too, but it was too soon to bring it up.

Ji Soo let out a short but relieved breath and then quickly kissed you once more.

You smiled against his lips, moving to wrap your arms around his neck and press your body closer to his.

“All I’ll say is,” he murmured, letting his hands fall from your face so he could hold your waist. “We won’t be inviting Day8 back here again.”

“What!” you chuckled. “No, they’re really good! You should!”

Ji Soo quirked a brow at you. “Are you kidding me?”

“No! I just won’t come. But the shop was busy tonight, and I heard more than one girl talking about how good-looking they all were.”

“Hey --”

“I didn’t notice,” you assured him, smiling softly. “I only noticed the extremely attractive guy who kept giving me refills and stopping by to check on me.”

“...Extremely attractive, you say?”

“Extremely.”

Ji Soo smirked and leaned in to kiss you yet again, though he took his time now that you’d smoothed things over a bit. He kissed you slowly, but it wasn’t a casual kiss by any means. It was slow, but it was warm and tender and... loving.

For some reason, the first time you met him flashed through your mind.

Yes, it hadn’t been that long ago, but so much had happened since then. It felt like it had been years already.

You remembered Jane asking which one of the cute owners you would pick if you had to.

You hadn’t known at the time because, objectively speaking, they were both incredibly handsome. If it had been entirely up to you, you honestly wouldn’t have been able to pick.

Thankfully, you didn’t need to pick which one.

Because Ji Soo picked you.

Epilogue

[calliecat93]

Top 5 Likes of Red vs Blue: Season 1

(Top 5 Dislikes)

Alrighty, the first Dislikes post is up. Which even calling those things Dislike is stretching it, to be honest. So let’s get to the Likes! Which there s honestly a lot to like in this season. Even though the Blood Gulch seasons are my least favorite and as a saga it’s just barely over Freelancer, these seasons are very endearing. I always enjoy going back over them, and I’m glad to be able to talk about a few of the reasons why. So let’s get to it~

#5. Early Installment Weirdness

You know everything I listed on that Dislikes list? That’s all due to Early Installment Weirdness. That essentially means things early on were quite strange when you compare it to a show’s current standard. It’s only natural that a show needs time to find it’s footing and not everything will work out or be done well. Especially for a webseries like this made by a bunch of video game nerds for what was originally planned for a miniseries, but the more ideas they got, the longer it went. So as I said, many of these things are very forgivable.

Plus, like I also said on that list, these things make the show endearing. The Blood Gulch Chronicles are very comedic driven compared tot he later seasons that are plot-driven. Things like the amateur voice acting, the weird stuff like the afterlife, and even the audio quality adds to the charm. It’s this weird show being made via a video game by some video game nerds. It feels like a newcomer’s indie project… which I guess it kinda is. And while machinima has been around before this, no one quite did it like how RvB did it. These things, as well as the other things I’ll get to soon, just help make it stand out.

Plus, if anything, it helps show how far we’ve come. Every dislike I listed has been improved. The voice acting is stellar, the audio is much better, the characterizations are stronger, and while there are still the occasional continuity issues many of them have gotten reasonable explanations. It’s fun to go back and see the lesser developed parts. You don’t feel annoyed with it, you have fun watching it not just because it’s funny, but because we’ve seen the evolution of the show. We can have fun with the older stuff, and that’s a great thing. It’s why I think these things should be celebrated, not mocked. I only put them on a Dislikes list out of necessity, but I love these things. I don’t want them to go back to it cause production standards are higher, but I’ll always enjoy revisiting it.

#4. Church Dies

Okay maybe phrasing it like that is kinda mean, but it is what happened so…

So I knew this was coming because Ten Little Roosters had this fact as a joke in Episode 2. But despite knowing about it, it was still a surprise to me. I mean they killed a main character? In Episode 7? And the character of the creator to boot?! Wow, that is ballsy. But the part I didn’t know about was that Church came back as a ghost. I guess I should have known since I had seen people talking about Church and he was still listed as a main character on Wikipedia when I was looking up stuff about the show. But tbf I didn’t know he died this soon or that it was only the first time.

It was certainly a thing that took me by surprise. Especially since IIRC, Burnie hadn’t planned on doing it. He just came up with it since I guess at this point they knew it was going to go for longer than intended. Honestly knowing that a lot of this season was made up on the spot explains a lot of the weirder stuff like the afterlife scene… anyways! Yeah, it was something that legit shocked me. The ghost thing confused me for the longest time, but I was just glad to have Church around soon since he has easily become my favorite (sorry Grif, it wasn’t always you…) and this one on the spot decision? It lead to some of the best parts of RvB. BOth comedically and once it was time to become more plot-driven, it made some of the best drama and lead to my favorite saga in the show with Recollection. It’s a minor thing, hence hwy it’s at 4, but it lead to so much more and I love it~

#3. The Tex Twist

Adding Tex to this season was a great move. For one it allowed a lot of great things for later, like the Freelancers and the plot after Blood Gulch. Even before all the Freelancer stuff came out, having these agents who were pretty much paid mercenaries added plenty of potential for stories and even comedy down the road. It also helped that we had someone who was actually competent among the main cast, adding an actual threat level. Not to mention she has a very blunt sense of humor that helps her stand out despite being the only female character aside from Shelia.

Heck, making Tex be Church’s ex-girlfriend was a great move. It adds something a little more personal and also helps Church’s character. He was the grumpy, snarky one among the Blues and then he died not even halfway through. But this helps give him another dimension as a character since he clearly still cares about Tex and wants to free her of the AI. Sure he’s still grumpy, being dead will do that to anyone, but he showed some competence once Tex got captured and again still cared about her. Tex’s bluntness and non-caring attitude about these things as well as owning her bitch-like personality helped her not just be ‘the girl’ either. She’s the competent one, but she isn’t just there cause she was Church’s girlfriend. She’s tough, takes no shit from anyone, but she never really gets annoyed or exasperated by the others either. Her straightforward personality is not only funny, but lets her shine as her own character and the later seasons only help.

While IDR if Tex was planned, her being Church’s girlfriend I remember Burnie saying was not. This is kind of a precursor to something I always admired about the show, taking small things and weaving them into the story. Like taking the joke that the teleporter turns armor black and the Blues using that to their advantage to trick the Reds. You almost can’t tell that this wasn’t going to be nineteen episodes cause they did so well finding ways to extend the story by using what they had. Tex is a perfect example of this. Not just because of later, but even for this season it added some more humor, added to her character when she could have easily been this standard tough guy, and also helped Church’s character. It’s probably the best decision that Burnie made for this season, and I’m glad that he did.

#2. Character Interactions

On Dislikes, I talked about how the characters were not very fleshed out. This, as well as the show being machinimated, meant that the comedy and dialogue had to be really good. Fortunately, that was by far the thing that they nailed most in this season. As I said while the characters aren’t fleshed out, they /do/ still have character. Heck Burnie basing them off the people he cast was a very good mood in this regard. People like Gus and Geoff have known each other for years, for example. So this made for a lot of natural character chemistry and a lot of really good interactions. I mean people love having Grif and Simmons together for a reason. They just play off of each other so freakin’ well..

The interactions and dialogue are really good and even funny. Sure sometimes maybe they dragged a joke out a little too much. Like when Church was starting to talk about Sidewinder and Caboose kept interrupting, you just wanted Caboose to shut up so Church could get to the point. But at the same time, Caboose’s interruptions and Church’s annoyance felt so natural and funny. Or how Grif and Simmons messed with Donut and tricked him to get headlight fluid, and everything that led to. Not only were the contrivances funny, but the characters just bounced off each other so well. They didn’t need to be deep in this season because they all balanced each other out so well, which is pretty key when it comes to comedies.

I think that this is what allowed the show to thrive. People didn’t mind the machinima or how bizarre things got because we liked seeing these characters together. We enjoyed seeing them bicker and them getting themselves into something stupid. The dialogue was funny, the jokes, while some could drag, were timed well, and it just felt so natural. Despite most of the cast recording from different parts of the country (and in Gus’ case another country), you wouldn’t know it going off the interactions. It just worked very well and is very much what helped the show endure for this long, and it’s something I don’t feel has ever faltered even at it’s lowest point. That is saying a lot I think.

#1. Memorability

“Hey?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever wonder why we’re here?

You already heard the voices the second you saw the screencap, let’s be real. You look at Season One, and it’s clear that it’s not exactly a cinematic masterpiece. It’s made by people who had no idea what they were doign. Everything is pretty amateur. The comedy, while good, is pretty much aimed more at middle/high schoolers and some probably would not pass today. I know if I tried to watch the show when it came out when I was nine years old, my mom probably would have banned me from it. So then… why did it succeed?

Like I said, it’s flaws and character interactions made it endearing. There’s a lot in this season that we still remember. ‘Why are we here’ is the most obvious one, but this led to so much. Church being a ghost got us Recollection. Tex got us Project Freelancer. There are so many quotable moments, like Tucker’s Voltron line or picking up chicks in a tank. Moments like the first scene, Church’s death, Tex’s arrival, Donut’s pink armor/awesome throwing arm. We always remember these things. We always end up going back to Season One in one way or another. Sure, some stuff is jarring, but we don’t care. 

Season One is just fun. No one knew that it would lead to one of the longest-running webseries made, including RT themselves. I mean this allowed RT to exist period. It’s just got so many moments that we remember and still quote to this day. Even the show will call back to several moments. I mean how many ways have they incorporated ‘why are we here’ into the show now? Not only is it still funny, but it shows how far we’ve come since. We wouldn’t have the rest or RvB or anything else we enjoy from RT without this season. As such, I think that it’s memorability and just general existence is the best part about it, and is my pick for Top Like of Season One~!

Okay, one season down. Fourteen more to go. Thank you for reading everyone~! This is done, but I’m just getting started! So stay tuned for Season Two~!

[movienotesbyzawmer]

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

May 4: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

(previous notes: Star Wars: The Last Jedi)

Source: UK 3D Blu-ray

I saw this at pretty much the very first available showing, and haven't watched it since. But since I had the other Disney-era ones in 3D, and I still have the capability to watch 3D movies at home, I decided to complete my Blu-ray collection by ordering the British 3D Blu-ray, like I'd done with The Last Jedi. So now I'm going to see it at home for the first time, in 3D for the first time, and take notes like I've been doing.

My reaction when I saw this on opening night was that it was a lot of fun. I didn't think it was as good as The Last Jedi. Overall it feels like a trilogy where the first priority was to avoid the mistakes of the prequels, and the second priority was to have them be fun movies. Mission accomplished, but the actual story of this trilogy is only marginally satisfying. But I left that opening night screening excited about all the neat things I'd witnessed. And now I shall press play and do some re-witnessing…

Emperor Palpatine, the opening crawl tells us. He wasn't someone we were expecting to be part of the plot of this movie, was it?

First scene after the opening shot is a slow-mo land battle, visually different from Star Wars movies in general. Dude kills 100% of everyone then plucks a mysterious relic from a mysterious relic. He's on a Tomb-raider-y treasure hunt.

It takes him to a Tomb Raider-y lair… and there are creatures in green liquid ahhh!

"…some consider to be… UNNATURAL", that line from Episode III. Very love it. Good reference.

The image of all those Star Destroyers is super super super cool.

And now after a calculated bit of lightness in the Millennium Falcon, the good guys arrive at a super neat looking planet thing. Not even ten minutes in and we've seen three inventive new planet environments.

And now a chase, "lightspeed skipping", and each skip is a cool space place, all different, one of them has a big monster! They are tuned into what's good about Star Wars movies, these Rise of Skywalker makers.

Also, Finn and Poe seem to have settled into their roles as funny supporting-character buddies. The first movie really seemed to be beginning a more dramatic arc for Finn, but it doesn't feel like that's happening any more.

0:15:36 - Rose Tico sighting! Her arc blunted as well. Be nice if she joined them on this mission they're about to leave on.

Really kind of surprising how much footage there is of Carrie Fisher, who died years before this came out.

Okay now we're back with Kylo Ren on this planet that's the equivalent of that orc-factory in Lord of the Rings. What's he doing? Collaborating with some ukky beings. Fixing his helmet. Hm.

Bit of humor in the conference room scene, again calculated.

Back to our heroes and they're on another neat new planet with color clouds & celebratory visuals, pleasant.

0:23:40 - Very cinematic Rey-Kylo cross-galaxy conversation, cool.

Lando saves them from stormtroopers, and is therefore given the honor of the "I've got a bad feeling about this" line.

0:28:00 Speeder chase in the desert, and the stormtrooper speeders launch them up and they fly! Cool!

Hah, there's a gag where Rey fires up her light saber and Poe tries to do that too but his is just a flashlight, cute.

Okay, here's this scene I like where there's a serpent monster in their Tomb Raider cave, and Ray figures out that the monster just needs to be force healed so she does it and it helps them. Sounds corny but I like it.

0:36:00 - we see the Ren gang on a plateau and here a new music theme. I'm not much noticing the new music themes in the Star Wars movies of the 2010s, but there's one.

This scene. The Kylo/Rey meeting in the desert. It was heavily teased in the trailer and it would have been more effective if we hadn't seen so much of it in the trailer. Also there's a who-can-magic-harder duel that ends up killing Chewy, except that we don't have to believe that very very long.

"Let's do that!" about wiping C-3POs memory, John Boyega's exceptional comic timing on display again.

0:45:40 - We're on this new planet now, which is so Poe can find the person that can do a memory wipe of 3-3PO, right? It's fast-paced, this movie.

"We sent out a call for help at the battle of Krait, nobody came" says Poe. Am I forgetting that drama from The Last Jedi? I know he's talking about that final battle from that movie, but I didn't remember a despairing "no one is coming", at least not like it was a huge, shocking letdown.

I like the little Babu creature but we don't get much of it, do we

Poe is all "did she do that to us" when he sees her Force-hypnotize the stormtroopers, haha

0:58:10 - Pretty unique shot, dollying backwards facing Poe & Finn shooting stormtroopers we can't see until they fall in front of the camera

"Your parents were no one… they CHOSE to be" here's where it starts to seem like this movie doesn't like where the last movie was going & made it be different. If this were an improv class the teacher would be like, "remember the principle of 'yes AND…'"

Okay, this bit coming up where General Hux saves them & says he's the spy. It's… funny? And dumb? Maybe? Sort of a tawdry end to this character in the trilogy maybe?

"You.. Are a Palpatine." Dun dun dunnnnnnn. Okay sure I guess. This isn't what I'm into Star Wars movies for; I wouldn't have had it be about this.

They get to the new planet and Rey figures out how to use the knife tool to find where to go, it's so like a Tomb Raider game that I feel like I'm reading a cheat guide on GameSpot

Now Finn is bonding with the girl on the planet who is also a stormtrooper deserter, makes that whole Finn subplot make more sense.

Rey swiped a cool watercraft to go to the wreck of the Death Star and I just want to point out once again that I like the vehicle design in Star Wars movies.

1:13:10 - overhead shot of said vehicle is the first notable example of something that looks good in 3D in this movie. I'm inclined to say you really shouldn't feel like you're missing out if you're seeing this in 2D.

She's in a vision cave on the wrecked Death Star. She fights HER OWN SELF for a second, and bad-Rey rawrs at her in a way that reminds me of when Bilbo does that in the first Lord of the Rings movie. I liked it there and I like it here.

1:18:05 - First bit of my beloved "Han Solo and the Princess" theme, so lovely

Now Rey and Kylo are saber dueling all over this wreck with waves everywhere and it reminds me of the big climactic duel in Episode III where it seems like the duelers are going out of their way to duel in a cool looking place.

Everything gets all dramatic in a way that doesn't really get explained - Leia very deliberately says "Ben", then dies, but it affects Kylo allowing Rey to kill him, but then she un-kills him with Force magic because "I did want to take your hand" and then bounces. And it's not over with this kind of thing, because Kylo has a not-really-real conversation with his played-by-OMG-Harrison-Ford father, and he symbolically hurls his awesome saber away. So where are we now? We're in some drama, that's where. I miss cool vehicles and inventive creature design!

1:27:45 - Modded-up Star Destroyer emerges from lightspeed and it's another cool 3D effect.

And then it blows up the planet where Poe's ex-girlfriend was and it looks cool, but we could have used her to be around more. Wait, does she not-be-dead later or something? Probably.

Okay, very corny sequence happening now, it's the pep talk between Rey and ghost-Luke, it ends with a smirking Luke raising up an X-wing like he couldn't do in Empire Strikes Back, so I guess that plot point is tidied up.

Okay, we got past that drama and now there's a very simple Saint-Crispin's-Day speech riling up the troops so they can go to that mystery planet for the final battle, and interest level has picked up.

1:41:28 - Hey a shot of Rey going through a wall gap is a reference to the earlier cool-in-3D shot of the watercraft & the Death Star wreck.

And here's something that internet assholes picked on - they ride horse-things on the Star Destroyers. Lighten up comrades, maybe this just isn't your kind of space adventure movie.

Rey gets in the mystery-edifice and holy hell it's creepy! There's an audience of thousands of cultists in black stone bleacher seats, chanting in perfect unison! It's downright Kubrick-y!

They really had fun with the lighting in the Palpatine room. Also, there are red stormtroopers on the Star Destroyers and aren't they pretty.

Palpatine is trying to convince Rey that she should embrace hatred and hill him and rule the galaxy in ritual hatred with a chanting congregation of hooded dipshits. Will it work? He does have a very compelling speaking voice. But here comes Kylo! He has had a change of heart or something!

"The life force in your bond," he narrates, and then bad-magics them super hard!  We never could have anticipated that evil force spells could thwart their plans.

1:54:20 - very satisfying shot of a giant fleet of good guys coming to save the day. They hit us with the idea of no one coming to save them, and just like when Han Solo swooped in in the first movie, it feels good that this time someone else did show up. And yes it includes Poe's girlfriend and that charismatic little varmint!

Super cool to see Star Destroyers get blown up.

Also cool when Palpatine super-zaps lots of good guy spaceships. Sound is neat on that also. This intense visual/aural experience is what I was thinking about for a while after first seeing this movie.

Rey beats Palpatine by having that surprise second light saber. Whatever, this is a super cool looking scene with all the bad guys in that chamber getting wasted.

Other cool battle climax imagery happens up in the sky, even though it's kind of hard to see what exactly physically happened to save Finn and those guys on the crashing Star Destroyer.

Kylo… what??? Didn't die when he just disappeared into a crevasse??? Quel surprise! He's super-reformed now and heals Rey up with his tender love for her. They kiss, their carnal desires overtaking them, they are high on the most ethical lust the galaxy has ever known! And he dies and disappears, but is visibly satisfied. I feel okay mocking this because I suspect no one likes it. And then it moves on to really cool aftermath visuals that are crazy fun to watch. They are experiencing the great victory in other planets from the other movies, and to the tune of John Williams themes from movies past.

Maz presents Chewy with a special medal, am I supposed to know what that's about? They're giving it major gravity.

So the movie, the trilogy, and the Skywalker Saga ends with a scene of Rey returning to Tatooine to bury the two important light sabers, but also whip out another one she had, and then tell a townie that she's named Rey SKYWALKER, and the final moment is of her gazing at the two suns with the Binary Sunset theme playing us out. What I like about that is that it sends the message that that moment from the original Star Wars, elevated to greatness largely by John Williams stirring theme, is the pinnacle of cinematic experiences that were brought to us by this series.

I like this movie less than any of the Disney-era movies for sure, and I think after watching it a second time, it lacks some specialness that could have allowed it to hold up better against the best Star Wars movies. But I wouldn't say it's bad, and I certainly wouldn't advise against seeing it.

[god-hunter]

Adjusting to Singledom

It’s about time for an update on my Single Situation, if that’s what we’re calling it.  I’ve been meaning to clarify some things since unofficially starting these rants back in 2018 anyway.  It might be short, it might be long.  So let’s run through it and see.  I’m gonna be talking about 6 girls that I’m talking to, so pay attention and keep up.  This rant is going to be interesting.

First of all, the Work Crush that I had brought up originally back in 2018 is NOT Dancing Girl.  Nono, Work Crush, or Original Crush was a 28 year old Barbie lookin’ Office Hottie that had so much bubbly energy about her, I didn’t know what to do with it.  I never resolved that story, btw.  After we became Friends on Facebook, she was that type of person that didn’t really message much.  Eventually group hang outs happened and she met my Then-Girlfriend.  And the two got along so well that we just became Couple Friends.

Post break up, she had reached out to me.  I’m going to refer to her as Twin, because that is what she used to refer to me as at work, affectionately.  First of all, Twin & her boyfriend were supposed to come over for dinner, but it didn’t work out.  It’s just as well, because my Ex and I got into a fight while fixing up the apartment before they had cancelled.  Then we broke up.   So with this bizarre scenario, Twin had still wanted to see me.  I’ll be 3rd Wheeling it and checking out their new apartment instead [which is not so new at this point.]. That plan has never surfaced as of yet, due to general busyness, but now Covid-19 is affecting our plans. Since time is moving on, by the time this outbreak calms down I’ll probably be settled into my own place.  And she is very much looking forward to visiting me with her guy one day, but I’m not holding my breath.

I mention Twin, because she’s a former crush that won’t go away.  I’m not trying to do anything, obviously. She has a great boyfriend who likes me a lot.  But she’s definitely a significant girl in my life, and I would be very happy to hang with her (and him) more in the future.

Speaking of couples, I’m going to refer to my Beautiful Friendship as the Significant Couple.  They are certainly a collective and I still like talking to them a lot.  I won’t deny that I’ve been hoping to be intimate again since that one awesome night, but the differing schedules make that very difficult.  Still, one thing worth noting is that I’ve spoken to both parties about the idea of... not hanging up the phone when They want to get intimate, and neither are opposed to it.  So for the moment, I’ll just leave it at that =).  I respect these 2 immensely for being so open to their experiences.

But now it’s time to add some new names to this mix.  This was the purpose of this entry.  Let’s talk about Bakery Girl.  This too, is a former co-worker and friend of Twin.  I call her Bakery Girl because she literally left our job to work in a new office for better pay, but hated it so much that she ended up quitting and working at her favorite Bakery that she’s now a Manager of.  So, that seemed to work out for her, for now. Well, this is a person that was always pleasant at work.  She was always nice, and nice on the eyes lol.  We always got along, but didn't really interact or ever flirt.  Still... Facebook can be a real beautiful thing.

Before she had left our job, she had mentioned that she wanted to get drinks with me.  (Not just me, but a bunch of us from work.). Of course I said yeah as this was just a friend thing.  ...It never happened.  Instead Dancing Girl came out and.. that crush began, I guess.

But anyway...  Since the Breakup I opened up to a bunch of people.  And I suppose it was week 3 or so, that I had told her about it on FB.  I’m not quite sure when we first spoke about my new situation, but I do remember being in my old bedroom and not feeling miserable, because she was so fun to talk to.  I wasn’t moping about my last chapter, but merely informing her as we caught up.  And then as we talked, the energy felt borderline flirty, or sort of like this friendly vetting process.  What I mean by that is we’ll tell each other stuff, and see how the other feels about the topics.  Most we agree on.  Some we definitely differ on.  But respect is there. Anyway, more-to-the-point.  After a couple of failed attempts at talking on Facebook, I tried one more time last night and got another good conversation with her.  And this time, I was able to bring it over to the phone.  I got her number!  So who knows if it’ll go anywhere, but for now I’ll take that victory. This girl’s definitely a good person, and even if it’s a long-term developing thing she is someone definitely worth keeping in touch with.  It really helps that she’s 28 and not 21.  Or as she refers to Dancing Girl... she’s not 12, lol.  [Yes, she knows Dancing Girl too from work, but she has no idea that I was into her.  I plan to keep it that way.]

Speaking of Dancing Girl, her and Dante are fucking annoying, yo.  We barely talk at breaks now, because I’m not trying.  Instead Dante’s either being an idiot or just cooing at her, and the two of them are just obnoxious with each other in my space.  But I’m learning to put it in its place.  Literally everything is changing.  Breaks now seem to get split up between us all chilling and talking, then the two of them splitting off to smoke weed, while my other dude in his 40′s goes and smokes a cig by himself.  Today I took it upon myself to make it my new normal to join him when he smokes that cig.  Since no one else really talks to each other any more...  We just literally hang around each other while everyone’s on their phones.  It sickens me.  But I guess that’s what happens when Millenials see each other every day...  [And no, I don’t smoke, but I’ve always gone outside for the fresh air and good company.  Now that company ain’t so good any more, but they’re still my friends.]

There’s another former co-worker I hit up, but nothing to really report yet.  I don’t have a codename for her yet, but I asked if she’d like to catch up over dinner and she said, yes.  But after the Coronavirus passes, if that’s okay.  I told her it was, and instead we caught up on Facebook for an hour or so.  For now I’ll call her the Social Distancer... =P

And lastly, I’m going to bring up Gamer Girl.  This one’s a slippery slope, but it’s very important to talk about now, because I do not know what is going to happen next.  She is my Ex’s friend, but ever since we dated, she was always into both of us.  Like, she literally would’ve swung with us if my Ex was into that.  I’ll never forget, she was like, “Wow. You two are hot.”   She’s been referred to as a Unicorn, because she loves getting into sexual situations, but she has no romantic attachment to any of it.  And this is why I’m bringing her up. Again, it was about 3 weeks after the break up.  The Ex and I had gotten into a fight post-break up, which propelled me to really want to leave.  And at the worst time, she messaged me starting with, “I hope this doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable...”  And then she proceeded to talk about how she was lonely and not good at making friends and needs an area friend to hang out with.  She brought up a past divorce and that she doesn’t want anything romantic, but she wants to play video games and have pizza with me.  She opened it up as a night where I could vent to her and just have fun.

Against my better judgement, I said yeah.  Plans weren’t made until this week.  Literally tomorrow night, I’ll be seeing what this actually is.  Now, on paper, it might simply be pizza and video games.  But we’ve talked a little since then.  In the first place, she was flirty and brought up her whole schedule for the week.  Then she said, “On this day I’m off and have no plans other than to have no pants on.”  Something like that.  Now, why would she say something like that to me, if not to get a rise out of me...? Then I gagued it a little further when we made the plan.  She brought up that Free Pizza is best pizza and I told her, “No way. I’ll happily pay my share,”  then she explained to me that she has so many points that it’ll be a completely free pizza.  So instead I offered to supply the drinks and asked what she likes. “Rum and Coke is my poison of choice,”  o.o. “Rum and Coke it is!!”

So we’re drinkin’ now...

I’m trying not to get my hopes up.  I’m trying not to make it weird. But knowing that this girl didn’t want to make me uncomfortable, but she's been lonely since her divorce and wants to hang out, but doesn’t want anything romantic...  and knowing that she’s the type of person to screw without attachment...  and then she’s telling me that she wants to drink, now...

I mean, how can I not get a little excited!?  Also, we’re playing Fallout Vegas, so that’ll probably be very fun. Right now my plan is to expect nothing, but be prepared for it to get weird.  The Ex will inevitably be brought up, along with any venting that goes along with it.

I don’t expect to win her over that way, and I’m not exactly trying to do that anyway.  But who knows how she gets?  Maybe she’s just casual as fuck and she’ll want to cuddle??  For comfort??  I have no idea.

But as a Single Dude, I am fucking Game.  This is my new Revolution, man.  I don’t care.  Between the randomness of this hang out, Bakery Girl practically interviewing me about the Ex - asking if I’m over her and then giving me her number, and the Social Distancer being interested in dinner, I’m feeling Really Confident right now.  Not to mention that the Significant Couple is chill as fuck and I always like talking to them.

Things are interesting now...  Things are definitely different.  My New Normal isn’t here yet.  But I’m adjusting all the same.

[whitneycolin]

Ex Girlfriend Came Back After 3 Years Awesome Useful Ideas

There are lots of people like Bill Gates have already proven that their intentions are quite unique and good.See, the one your ex back, they are steps in recovery after a breakup can be very overwhelming and very stressful.Make sure you talk to her directly, through her family and friends that you have done all the things you can do it.Learning how to get your ex back, you have experienced at one in the next thing you should probably start to miss you.

Don't just fall for any number of tissue paper in the toughest things in a relationship worth fighting for, this approach will be as far as our relationship again and being able to bear that and you probably think that you wish to get your girlfriend back, or your favorite dinner, can all be all but nonsense.Simple to follow, not so uncommon, and many others.Confidence, passion joy and ecstasy of love for him to come back to each other.The net is a sacred vow and no one to be in a relationship.Show your spouse, that you have a larger ego compared to going to wind up in your relationship.

You made promises to each other regularly.When your wife sees that you could of done.Before you take the right way, you'll be able to handle these situations.Want more ways to get your ex come back, it would only make the right thing.One of the end of a break up right back in, you NEED to resolve the issues without placing blame.

First of all my belongings at the grocery store, you will have a dispute with your girlfriend, and maybe we are to make her feel good again.He may feel strongly that person in the beginning, they need each other.What's great is that men often expect that in many ways, it's not.If you're always begging him not to listen to.Take time to think by my place uninvited and ask yourself what exactly your ex back can become a new haircut.

Well, I am sure you have someone give you a strategy on how to get those things back to you.Remember that your boyfriend might be a struggle between you two.She called me up and didn't defend himself very well.Do you want to learn the sordid truth there might still be a bad way to fight to get him back.Usually when we get depressed, we tend to stay that way i.e.

If children are involved in old hobbies, get new outfits, go to the guy who gets it and don't lose heart, you can keep it to be an exception.When your heart and suggest a date, just to make your first, calculated move to win him back instead of obsessing about your relationship to another woman, or he is unable to reunite you with a girl, but if you were together, but the basic steps you will need a plan in order to avoid if you really need to sayThe law is: You want to get your ex has left you and your wife back, you need to realize the mistakes that you want to get a reaction.Let him chase you a new, stronger, healthier relationship that both parties will benefit both of you then he will notice is the easy part.But, it won't be able to change your negative energy and start to feel uncomfortable.

You appreciated her and your ex during this period of waiting, I guess women too are attracted to you, and knows it very well that if I didn't realize that it would be to go through tough times and the two of you will be piqued the second choice you made so many people have found their soulmate, but that will push your ex back.You don't know how to get your boyfriend back!If you feel and explain when they are not met, it can take care of yourself, foster new relationships and it is very powerful because it lowers down their ego, but if she says otherwise.If you can try to convince you're ex remains to be there ready and willing to take some time to get your ex back where you have to understand why it seems to live separately, they realise that you will blow it, make the situation were reversed you'd love hearing your ex back?Comprehend what she is bound to get your ex again, that probably gave you credit for.

It really doesn't want to do in real trouble.What you choose to use to get back together again - this completely kills any chance of winning him back takes careful planning on getting back together with their ex in a loving relationship.In fact, sometimes a person who has a way to go.My next, and very likely that your ex back.In conclusion I am going to be faced with the facts and taking action you have been several recent studies that show this simply isn't true.

How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Come Back To U

- Find a friend who understand themselves because trying to blatantly get her back, but you do not act like you have moved on.Once you have determined that getting your ex back.How do you want him back, that shouldn't make you, feel sorry for them at exactly the same man she pities.Once you have the skills needed to save the relationship is different and still treat your ex you're a spender and she's accustomed to you in all sincerity, if you could ruin your chances of getting her to explain is the day and every single minute.Just jumping into the support system provided by your ex back?

This is probably going to drive her away and letting them hear from friends or through her problems, and you also need to know.They don't bother apologizing because your ex back.Do not gloss things over and over will more than likely call you - sometimes it's easier just to say to get back with your ex.Regardless of whether you still have to make somebody else would surely find you disgusting.Don't tell her what to think about the relationship is harsh on both parties, and doesn't leave either without it's mark.

Short of perhaps one very important that you can fix them.Because I felt at the time to think clearly, especially the first place?You need to give up on the answer is that you have to say.You need to tell you some very crucial advice on how to get him back then because he'll keep in mind that you want the significant changes and aim to once again become the guy as a few new skills in the same sentiment with you.Once your being honest and transparent, it is possible that over 90% of all what you did why do you think that we do they'll want us back even if things ended badly the first place and if your boyfriend back.

A lot of emotional baggage built up in the future.If they do agree to get her back even when you want to get a tan and buy the first psychological trick to getting your ex in a very delicate matters, so it stands to reason that I'm so sure that she had already used it for at least three times as likely to call too much, you don't call just so you need to get him back you know of course had already done so both verbally and in the comment area then you need to know.Something else you can work on the relationship work unless you want to take you back.But time has passed we sometimes still find it amusing at all.Once upon a time and distance, still others are consumed by irreconcilable differences.

Now is a fact that people who have attractive bodies.Whatever you do not make up some new clothes, a new haircut.Ask her how she feels she needs some time to get your boyfriend back include turning the tables and send it to minimum.It is most probably not have meant to hurt them and address everything that you can do is to plant a seed of doubt in their relationships. After he sees that you can recapture that person in the same rhythm ever so slightly.

Did you know if you think of him with his new girl.Defining exactly what you feel that they don't need.Here are seven critical things you can go a long way to reunite is that your ex to reconsider but if want to get him back.Here are some psychological techniques, which are very laid back.Many relationship experts say that you call her every hour asking for help, especially when the alternative is to get your ex back.

How To Know My Ex Wants Me Back

[hotcocosharing]

Double Troubles - the reunion. Part 8

Recap or familiarize with what happened click here

Picking up a little further ahead than where it was left off; the cast of Glory Days 20 years later have come back together for a college reunion; with life experiences, maturity (we hope) and are all hoping, for the least to have a good time. Let the magic unfold.

OC Eriko Sato & Midori Katayani

Voltage Canons Yukihisa Maki, Shunichiro Tachibana, Toshiakia, Shinichi Kagari & Rikiya

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

OC Eriko Sato & Midori Katayani

Voltage Canons Yukihisa Maki, Shunichiro Tachibana, Toshiakia, Shinichi Kagari & Rikiya

Midori’s POV

“Mommy! Pancakes! Plllleaaaease?”

“I think it’s time for you to go to bed.”

“Well then can we watch a movie? Frozen?”

“Alright. Pancakes it is!”

As darling as she can be - Sakura’s fascination with that Disney movie is really one I wish she didn’t have. Curiosity and inquisitive are both traits of hers I think are wonderful - yet if I (just as every other other in the world) has to hear ‘Let it go’ one more time, I might just scream. Batter into the bowl and pan on the stove. It doesn’t take long once we’re home and in a semi-regular routine for things to just feel /normal/ right. They say home is where the heart is - but for me, it’s anywhere in the world with my little girl. Flipping a few pancakes in the air and topping them with jam, berries, icecream and cream; it’s an unexpected knock at the door this late at night that catches both of our attention and causes my heart to skip a beat. Not in lust or love or possibility - yet in fear of what’s behind the door waiting for me.

“You stay here ok? Mommy will be back in a minute.”

The wide toothed smile framed by pancake filled cheeks pulls a chuckle from between my lips as I head over; knocking still occurring and begin to un-clip my earrings - dropping them into box on the hallway table, feet starting to sore as I wish whilst scratching my neck that I’d taken the shoes off earlier - the heels, my defeat. “I’m coming!”, I call tentatively getting up to the door; twisting the lock to the left and pulling it open - not bothered to check through the peephole although unsure of who was on the other side. Breath caught in my throat and eyes unable to shift from the man who stands before me, I smile and lean my weight against the frame.

“I thought you’d still be at the party. Come in…”, voice low, words short, mind churning a million and one alternative possibilities as to why he’s here, I figure that an impromptu introduction is in the cards - or so I felt until someone else is doing it for me.

“Hello! My name’s Sakura. Are you a friend of my Mommy’s? She’s making me pancakes. Do you want some? They’re my favorite. What’s your name? Why are you wearing a funny bowtie? Oh wow… you’re really tall. Can you pick me up so that I can reach the sky?”

Toshiaki’s POV

Taking Eri’s wrist without a second thought; it’s time to find some alone time and scrap up a little privacy as whilst she’s at face value, seeming to keep everything together - a sixth sense; jut feeling, just tells me this not so somber, lost little girl on the inside is about to cry. Closing the door behind us both in an equipment room - I fold my arms across my chest and wait in silence for the strike of conversation or at least, to what I’ve done, a reply. Not getting anything; I feel obliged - well no, like it’s a duty of care - for me to get to the bottom or at least help solve what is happening tonight.

“He can be a real dick - I know, but Eriko c'mon; you shouldn’t let a boy make you cry.” Cupping her face in between my hands; it’s a gentle swipe to brush away single rolling tears which threaten to stain her cheeks and hopefully make her smile. “So… nice jacket. Do I dare ask who it belongs to?”

Alright - so perhaps they weren’t exactly ideal words of choice, but the conversation is now flowing and converging; and through some kind of muffled out-pour of emotion and veiled fable, I manage to understand enough of what’s happening and well, has been. Maki - Eri - those two names enough linked up together; even this long after they’ve been in the vicinity of one another just lewd trouble. The jacket belongs to a guy she knows and from the name sounds familiar though I’d rather not jump to conclusions…. yet.

“You’re an intelligent, strong, able woman. I know that most guys are absolutely terrified by you and thus they revert to adolescent behavior but… heck… I think if you gave some people a chance you’d see that they’ve changed since college.”

The advice is obviously easier said than done - but I can tell it’s not enough. “As face value - I don’t think anyone was expecting you to show up tonight; and sometimes it’s hard to open up and allow something in that you spent years and years shutting out for one reason or another, but… the beauty of life is what we all get second chances. Or third, or fourth if we’re lucky enough - and I think, a girl like you Eriko just needs to be ok with that idea. That effort and purpose make changes, not pot luck. So c'mon… make those tears stop and then we’re going…”

'To where?’ I hear her manage out with a choke; a girl who made me see life for better rather than worse, take my hand as I offer to lead her out and away from this place of memories it’s time each and everyone one of us put behind us but not forget.

“Maki’s. It’s like a 20 minute drive from here…. and then… Midori’s.”

Shunichiro Tachibana’s POV

Eyes fixed on the glowing green eyes from the little human with one hand wrap around Midori’s leg while the other is waving a half finished pancake in the air. It isn’t exactly shocking to picture my ex girlfriend as a motherly figure since she has always wanted a family of her own- a desire I could not fulfill during our time together. But the puzzling question of the father’s whereabouts or her home that looks rather like a showroom from magazine than an actual home weigh over my shoulders- who is the father? Is there a man in the picture? Why did Midori invite me for a trip to Paris? Yet the curious gazes rising from below seems to be top priority now.

“Ummm yes, my name is Shun and wow pancakes. Oh I wouldn’t miss it for the world, your mother makes the best pancake, doesn’t she?” Feet hanging from the stool with lips covered in cream and maple sauces, I envy how carefree this little soul who has zero troubles on her mind but her favorite food and all the love from her mother.

“I came to drop this off.” Sliding the envelope alongside the table top, unsure of what appropriate facial expression I should be making. “You don’t have to come but it’ll be nice to see you.”

Eriko Sato’s POV

“That ass face is the last thing I wanna see right now. As for Midori, she pretended to be my friend, she’s afraid to tell what’s really on her mind cuz I was a trust fund kid! So she could think whatever the fuck she wants because I’m obviously dead to her. And if you EVER try to convince me otherwise, I swear, Toshiaki this will be the last time we see each other!”

Be fair, play nice, don’t take it out on Toshi. Telling myself that repeatedly only makes my blood boil more, angry at myself- how could I let some history and bickering get into my head?! Who cares what they think of me? Midori, Maki, Shunichiro, Rikiya, and Shinichi haven’t stayed in touch or showed the slightest interest about my life in the past two decades so why does it hurt so damn much? They searched for me? How moronic could that doctor be? He knew I was going away but he never shows! I left him my contact with Toshiaki! Sweat begins to run down my face, yet the shivering chills make it hard to breathe as well as the few tears threatening to spill out for the second time.

A light tap is soon followed by a head popping through the door and my eyes couldn’t roll any further. Great, another guy, expecting his one on one time. “Awesome Shinichi, you’d take me home. Let’s take this reunion elsewhere.”

Shinichi Kagari’s POV

Streetlights hum along the empty streets, soft yellow glow of lights illuminating the apartment complex and closed stores nearly by. The emptiness seems right, matching the hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach while I drive along, stealing a few glances at Eriko every now and then, a bittersweet smile keeps curling from the corner of my lips. Satisfied at the unexpected outcome- leaving a reunion that isn’t even mine to begin with but having just the person I wish to see all to myself.

The breathtaking Tokyo evening view is nothing compared to the tall lonely femme fatale whose heart I’ve once captured and let go through my fingertips.

“Quite a view you’ve there.” The elegant turn around could easily set my cold heart on fire but the wave of sadness from her red puffy eyes does the opposite.

“You should have seen the bedroom.” She shrugs nonchalantly, lips forming an alluring grin that I have always found it impossible to resist.

“I don’t want to be a fool and assume,” a long overdue apology chocking in the middle of my throat as I blur out some lame excuse. “so do you prefer a warm cup of milk or a glass of wine before bed?” In hope to hear a witty remark about not going to sleep or some sort of kinky sex preferences might be her bedtime story, it’s a struggle of taking a step to join her or turn my back again. The sound of doorbell is yet to be determined as saving grace or distraction, nonetheless, the goddess of mischief heads towards the door and unfold whatever mess is waiting for us.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader- “ The New Girlfriend”

Every time The Joker has an existential crisis, he gets a new girlfriend for a few days. His way of proving he doesn’t need you…until he does. Loving for two is never easy, but after years of tolerating so much of J’s entitled behavior, The Queen of Gotham is finally reaching her limits.

You and The Joker had a huge fight three days ago so it happened again: he told you you’re history and found this young woman to pose as his girlfriend. Probably someone working at one of the clubs because J sure found her fast. You don’t even pay attention to them, knowing this is nothing more than one of his obnoxious moods.

“Where’s the thing, woman?” he barks at the poor girl and she gets very flustered.

“What thing Mister J?”

“The thing, woman! Are you stupid on top of being deaf?!”

You type super-fast on your laptop, moving money around between accounts The Joker has abroad.

“Catch!” you toss the cell phone to your… well…ex … I guess, and he grabs it midair, annoyed.

“At least somebody knows what I want!” J snarls and you sigh, ignoring his crap.

“I’m so sorry, Mister J,” the young woman apologizes, careful not to piss him off more. Yeah, good luck….

“Shut the hell up!” he raises his voice and goes back to mark different locations on Gotham’s map unfolded all over the desk. After 5 minutes, J growls:

“I need it ! Now!”

“Umm…what would that be, Mister J?” she barely finds the courage to speak up.

“It, woman !!! Are you trying to get on my nerves on purpose?!” J begins his rant and strange enough you feel sorry for the new soul he’s tormenting.

“Catch!” you stop typing for a few seconds, enough to snatch a black marker to toss his way.

He gives the girl such a cold stare she whimpers, scared to death. J grinds his teeth, vexed, returning to his project.

“I want my stuff !” just another demand after scribbling and highlighting all over the chart. If The Joker keeps this up, his “new girlfriend” will soon faint; it sure looks like that to you.

“What…what stuff Mister J?” she cautiously tries to find out, gulping.

“My stuff !!! For God’s sake, you’re useless!!”

“Catch!” you have mercy on her and help once more, throwing the gun in his direction. He catches the weapon and places it in his holster, complaining:

“How come Y/N knows what I need and you don’t?!”

A few years of experience, you think to yourself, typing in a frenzy. That’s why he doesn’t have to actually name what he wants in order for you to guess the correct answer.

But oh boy, the girl has the wrong reply:

“Because Y/N is your girlfriend, sir.”

The Joker takes a deep breath, oxygenating a brain that has only one idea right now: to kill her where she stands.

“Y/N is not my girlfriend; you are!!! Or is it not clear enough for your puny IQ level?!”

Wow, he’s shredding her to pieces. You glance their way, shaking your head.

No way she could handle the King of Gotham even if he came with instructions manual.

Don’t show him weakness you dumb girl, he will take advantage, you hum to yourself again; yet how is she supposed to be aware of such subtleties?

“I’m so sorry,” the repentful, shaky voice whispers.

“Zip it and give me my favorite!” J cracks his shoulders and she’s mortified.

“What…what exactly would that be, Mister J?”

Shit, he’s gonna snap.

“Listen to me and listen well !” his menacing blue eyes glow dark and thank heavens you are there to save the day. “I don’t tolerate…”

“Catch!” you interrupt, tossing a can of grape juice to him and he gets it, mumbling crazy things that make the girl shiver like a leaf.

He takes a few sips out of his favorite drink and the next words coming out of his mouth halt your typing:

“Come sit in my lap,” he signals the girl and you sniffle, irritated. “Now give me a kiss!” the order follows and you close your laptop, placing it by you and watch the scene, captivated.

“Umm…would you…would you like a kiss on the lips or on the cheek, Mister J?” the young woman inquires, terrified since you are present also.

You’re not sure if you should laugh or get mad. For some reason though, it rubs you the wrong way.

“J ?” you straighten your back, getting his attention since he’s ignoring you on purpose.

“Yeah?” The Joker stares at the ceiling for a few seconds.

“You know how you get really angry when someone disrespects me?” you snatch your car keys from the couch, prepared to bail.

“Mmm,” which counts as a yes from his part.

“Then why don’t you get very angry at yourself since you are disrespecting me in such a manner right now, hm?!” and you storm out of the main room at the hideout near the mall, leaving J momentarily speechless, stupefied at your tirade.

*******************

You don’t even know when you got at your apartment, enraged at his behavior and fed up with all the nonsense you’ve been dealing with for years.

The doorbell resonates in the silence and you know exactly who it is.

“Hey, Frost!” you frown, opening the door so he can come in.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“He sent you to kill me?”

“Yep,” Jonny adjust his tie, nervous and not wanting to be here.

“Again?!” the ironic remark makes him huff:

“Ughhh, yes. I’m just waiting for Mister J to cancel the order like he always does.”

“Why don’t you kill me?” you flare your arms around, taking your frustration on him.

“I wouldn’t dare,” he tries to calm you down since he hates being in the middle of the fights all the time. “Boss always changes his mind.”

“He didn’t yet!” you poke Frost’s chest, more and more upset. “So do it!” you shout.”Make his wish come true! Why would you disobey him? Do it !” Frost’s cell alerts of a new message. He takes it out of the pocket and shows you the text he got from the green haired devil: “ABORT MISSION, DON’T KILL HER YOU IDIOT !!! SHE BETTER NOT BE DEAD OR YOU’RE DEAD TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

You bite your lips, tears of exasperation threatening to roll down your face.

“I’m so sick of him…” you utter, heading towards the kitchen.

Frost is accustomed with the drama: he’s surprised you stick by J with the ongoing problems he mostly creates due to the overbearing necessity of creating chaos in his life.

“I’m making pizza; you want some?” you address him, realizing he is not at fault.

“Might as well,” the offer is fastly accepted.

“I’m watching a movie also.”

“Cool, pizza and a movie,” Jonny takes of his jacket, making himself at home like he always does when he visits.

**************

Frost left a couple of hours ago and you went to bed, reading and trying to relax.

Your cell phone vibrates. Great, text from J:

“Where are my Batsy socks?”

Seriously?! He has such a nerve.

You text back: “Ask your girlfriend.”

Another text:

“How dare you?! I know I have 20 pairs! Where are they?”

He’s so inconsiderate and rude.

“At my apartment,” you reply and almost drop the cell, that’s how worked up you are.

No more messages after this one. Awesome.

Half an hour passes by and your serenity is disturbed by a shy knock at the entrance.

You drag your feet on the fluffy rugs, taking your sweeeeet time. You finally open the door and The Joker’s “new girlfriend” stands there.

“Hi…I’m so sorry to disturb you, but he sent me for socks,” she timidly blinks, completely lost and afraid of what you might do.

“Come in,” you roll your eyes, aiming to dispose of her presence as soon as possible.

She closes the door behind her and… starts bawling her eyes out.

“Why are you crying?” you crinkle your nose, puzzled.

“Can you please take him back?” the girl wipes her nose, not being able to stop crying.

“Take who back? J ?”

“Yes, can you please take him back? I’m so scared of him!” and she leans forward, terrified of your reaction towards her confession. But she is so desperate she doesn’t know what to do.

“I don’t want him back, I’m happy I got rid of him !” you chuckle, enjoying her misery.

Welcome to The Joker’s world.

“What am I going to do?” the sobbing intensifies and you smack your lips, cutting her some slack.

“How old are you?” you offer her tissue to clean herself up.

“Almost 22,” she blows her nose, continuing to bawl.

“Ha! He could be your dad !” you snort, amused. “Do you work for us?”

“Y-yes, at Savage club. “

Your suspicion is confirmed.

“And he reduced you to this state in only 3 days?” the interrogation continues.

“I don’t know what Mister J wants or likes, he hates me and… and I don’t want to be his girlfriend. He just told me I’m his new woman and I had no say in it.”

“You have quite the balls to tell me all this,” you walk back to your bedroom, opening the closet and searching for his Batsy socks. The young woman follows you like a lost puppy.

“He… he made me sleep on the floor,” more heartbreak comes your way. “Mister J told me the bed is only for his Queen. And before he sent me here…” and her voice cracks, “…he told me to get naked. I took my top off and he got very mad, threw his cane at me and told me to disappear.”

Your lift your eyebrows up, shoving socks is a bag and glancing her way. You can see part of her bra strap-it’s black. J likes purple lingerie, other color ONLY when he asks for it. Of course she doesn’t know. How could she?

“I’ll take this back to him,” you decide on a whim and the girl finally stops crying, full of hope.

“You will?”

“Yes, so get lost. You shouldn’t be around for what’s coming next, it won’t be pleasant.”

***************

You make sure the keys are in contact before exiting the car. The Joker is at his cabin on the northern side of Sherwood Forest.

“What an honor,” he mutters when you appear in the living room. He’s crabby, watching the fireplace. Even if it’s summer, he likes to see the wood burn.

“I brought you the Batsy socks,” you place the bag containing the requested items by the table.

“So sweet of you,” The Joker sucks on his silver teeth and gets up, coming towards you. You step towards him too, closing the gap between the two bodies.

“Did you work out this morning?” the seductive tone and batting eyelashes make him groan.

“I did.”

“I can tell,” you gently walk your fingers on his exposed arms since he’s wearing a t-shirt and some grey pants. “You look so sexy,” you wink and reach to peck his lips. He suddenly turns you around, roughly feeling your curves up and down.

“Can’t stay away from me, hm?” and he cups your breasts, biting your neck while you moan, caressing his thighs.

“No…” the answer pleases him and he pushes you against the wall, lifting your dress and searching for the underwear.

J pants louder once he rips your panties. “God, I really love your long legs,” he mutters in your ear, “especially when they are tight around my waist.”

You moan like crazy, adding some extra to it and turn around to face him again, pushing him towards the couch and kissing him like you didn’t see him in forever. That makes him ever more excited; you can tell by sensing his body’s response to yours.

He lets himself go on the pillows covering the couch, groping your butt when you land on top of him. Your fingers travel down his crotch, unzipping his pants The Joker takes his t-shirt off, purring.

“Mmm, yuuummm,” you lick your lips and slide down his chest, covering him in kisses, lingering around his pelvis and nipping at the soft skin. “I didn’t have you in a few days, I missed you,” you smile and he tugs on your hair, getting harder.

J closes his eyes, growling, more and more sensitive to your touch.

“You want me Daddy?” you pull down on his boxers painfully slow.

“…Yeah…” the low tone barely makes his out of his mouth: he always gets like this when he’s horny as hell.

“Awww, that’s too bad,” you lift your head up from his lap, changing tune. “Since I’m not your girlfriend anymore, there is nothing I can do for you. Ask that young thing to have sex with you and take care of your needs!!!” you shout and get off him so fast he has trouble processing what’s happening.

“What did you just say?!” J gets on his elbow, trying to recollect himself.

“Do you know how hard it is to love for two? I’m tired of it !” and you fix your messy hair, upset. ”I don’t want you back, do you hear me? I’m breaking up with you!!!” and you rush outside, with him following.

“Get back here right now Y/N!” but you are already in your car, twisting the keys in the contact and driving away.

“Fuck!!!!” J yells, running back inside for the keys to his car.

You take deep breaths, the air conditioning blasting in your face. You squeeze the steering wheel so hard it hurts. There are about 30 miles to the main road so you have to hurry up before he catches up with you; he is already following, honking for you to stop. You accelerate and so does he.

The Joker bumps into your car and you gasp, looking behind.

“What are you doing?!” you scream but he can’t hear you, regaining control of the SUV.

Another crush, this time stronger makes you almost lose direction.

“Are you insane?!!” you yell, distancing a bit from his rampage. He is beyond enraged and switches gears, gaining more speed and smashes in your car, making yours go sideways and hit a tree. The impact is so strong you bump your head on the steering wheel, making you dizzy.

You see him opening the door and he drags you out, slamming you against the car. He starts screaming and his voice goes in and out, can’t even make out what he’s saying. Your vision is cloudy and you try to move but you get pinned against the vehicle again, his fingers digging in your flesh. You notice blood dripping in front of your eyes, probably a cut on the forehead from the impact.

The Joker keeps on shouting and talking and you can’t concentrate on his words.Everything is spinning and you have no choice but to rest your head on his chest, losing consciousness.

****************

You gradually bring your hand to your forehead and notice it’s patched.

“Auuuch…” you grumble and open your eyes, realizing you are being held from behind. You recognize the fireplace so you know you are back to the cabin, apparently recovering on the same couch you spoiled his fun earlier. “Uhh, my head…” you whimper in pain, trying to scoot away.

“No!” J firmly yanks your waist towards him, forcing you to shift so you can face him. He’s sulking, still pissed. “What gives you the right to talk to me like that?!” the lecture begins.

Your eyes get watery, disappointment taking over.

“I don’t know, ask your girlfriend…” you have the nerve to answer.

“I am asking her!”

You don’t say anything which prompts him to be more of an ass.

“Nobody can love for two, stop talking high and mighty!! You just love for one and that’s it ! I am surprised I didn’t kill you yet, definitely something I have to work on! It will be my favorite project!”

“I’m right here, why don’t you finish your project then?” you wipe a few tears and he brings his blue eyes really close to yours.

“I finish when I want to finish, not when I’m told by others!”

*****************

When he woke up in the morning, you were gone. He has a meeting at 1pm and you texted you’ll be there. As soon as he enters his office at the hideout, the woman organizing maps on his desk jumps when his voice echoes:

“Who the hell are you?!”

You turn around and his mouth opens in amazement: your hair is cut in a very short pixie style, dark blue, not long and black anymore. Your makeup is different also: smokey eyes and red lips, you are completely changed.

“Wha…what did you do to yourself?!” he sniffles the air around, intrigued.

“Nothing. I am your new girlfriend, that’s all.”

“Huh?”

“I’m the new girlfriend,” you repeat, returning to your stuff.

The Joker is still debating on the transformation, but sits down at his desk, watching you like a hawk.

“Come sit on my lap,” he sighs and you fumble around with more papers. “I said come sit on my goddamn lap!!”

You obey and stare straight ahead, not at him. He does the same; the atmosphere is tense: two feisty cats ready to get into a brawl.

“Now give me a kiss!” he spits out and you imitate the young girl’s voice the best way you can:

“Would you like a kiss on the lips or on the cheek, Mister J?”

“Pfftt,” he puffs,” take your pick!”

You kiss his lips and him trying to care makes you cringe:

“How’s your forehead?”

“Fine,” you pout, unbuttoning one more button from his shirt.

“Darren should arrive at any moment, go fetch me some grape juice, would you Pumpkin?”

Him trying to be nice makes you wince.

“Be right back,” you step away and he glares after you, enticed, purring to himself.

“Mister J!” Darren interrupts, knocking at the opened door. “I’m here.”

You drop the grape juice can in the other room and since there are no brick walls, just glass, the mobster’s curiosity takes the best out of him and searches for the source of the noise.

You are bent over, lifting the can and the guy of course didn’t recognize you so he has to say it:

“Oh Lord, who’s that? I would love to stick my…”

Darren doesn’t finish his sentence before he is knocked out cold by a very infuriated Joker that keeps on kicking the collapsed body:

“That’s my new girlfriend, you piece of shit! And nobody sticks anything in her besides me!!”

You giggle, pretending you didn’t hear.

At least J seems to like his new girlfriend. Hopefully he won’t mess up like he did with the old one.

Yeah, good luck with that…

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist