#Evil author day

[hylianengineer]

A aromantic prince has been turned into a frog

It's a curse only true love can break

So he spends months trying to fall in love, trying to stop being who he is because god dammit he's not a frog either!

After yet another unsuccessful date, he begins to despair for his future which is looking more amphibious by the minute.

A loud noise disturbs his brooding as something comes crashing through the undergrowth. He's barely gotten his little froggy feet underneath him before a tiny (but still quite big if you're a frog!) hand is scooping him into the air.

A little kid sees the frog on the grass.

They grab it before he has the chance to protest and kiss him square on his slimy little head.

He transforms back into a very confused human.

No, this is not a Renesme moment, gross. Not romantic love or even friendship, just the blind joy of a kid who thinks frogs are super cool. The child loves every amphibian she's ever set eyes on, but that doesn't make it any less real. And she grows up to be a biologist who studies frogs, because of course she does. The prince pays her tuition as thanks for returning him to his proper form. She was like 4 years old at the time and doesn't even remember the frog incident - there's just some random rich dude paying for her college because of something she doesn't remember, but she's not complaining because grad school is expensive as heck.

[seollem-tm]

Evil Author Day

Oh this sounds fun.

“Miss Granger?” a gentle voice startled her into nearly dropping the jar, and she spun back around to face the doorway. Although his face was cast in shadow, the dim lights of the corridor outlined his silhouette just enough for her to recognize the straight, prim posture and head tilted slightly to the side.

“P-Professor Riddle?” she gasped, heart stopping in her chest. He was an NPC, which were typically the ones who caught her breaking the rules and sent her spiraling into a bad end. The game’s police force, really.

“A bit of late night potion-brewing? That never bodes well,” he teased, stepping into the small space. She instinctively took another step back.

“No, I just thought…” she stammered, scrambling for an excuse and coming up with nothing. “I heard a noise and hid in here.”

“Hogwarts is the safest place on earth.” Another step toward her. “What have you to fear?”

“I-I dont know,” she backed up until her back hit the shelves behind her with a thunk, jars rattling.

His hand slowly reached toward her and she jumped when his fingers brushed the backs of her hands. Then he gently pried the jar from her hands, lifting it up to read the label.

“Ashwinder eggs?” he frowned, eyes hardening. “Don’t tell me you’re brewing a love potion, Miss Granger?”

“Of course not, that would be unethical.” Not to mention completely useless. Love potions were cheating, after all, and not an option in the game.

“Felix Felicis, then? Though, I doubt you need luck, with your grades,” he mused, gazing at the frozen eggs.

“Only someone as unlucky as me would be caught sneaking around the castle at night,” she joked, shrugging.

“You are sneaking, then?” His tone sharpened, and she began babbling.

“Figure of speech. I was only exploring, clearing my head after a study session.”

She paused, and looked up at him pleadingly.

“You won’t expel me, will you?” That was not an ending that would get her back to reality, she was certain of that.

“No, detention should do it,” he gave her a warm smile and the jar floated from his hand back up to the shelf. “Every night this week, seven sharp.”

[devdevlin]

Happy evil author day

TW: Peremo (and abuse and non-con, I guess)

Sometimes, he was brutal.

In those first months, the first ones after Tom came back into her life, he came for her infrequently, but when he did, he made sure she felt it.

He'd pull her hair so tightly it was a miracle he didn't rip it out. He left her with bruises, squeezed her so tightly she thought she'd snap, but then sometimes—only every now and then—he'd meet her eyes and hold her closely, as though he could see into her soul.

He'd bind her, gag her, throw his words like knives, and position her in front of the mirror and force her to watch—

But then sometimes, he’d revel in her. He'd wipe away her tears, breathe her in, whisper sweet nothings while he fucked her gently, like what they had were something real.

Sometimes, she found that she liked it when it hurt, because it hurt so much more when it didn't.

[christiwhitson]

Summary:

As an Unspeakable at the height of Grindelwald’s war, Claire Beauchamp has seen her share of violence, intrigue, and extraordinary magic, but nothing could have prepared her for an involuntary tumble through time. There are few places more dangerous for a witch than 18th-century Scotland. Not only must she worry about overzealous muggles, but if her own government caught wind of her time-travel mishap, they’d lock her away for the rest of her life to avoid risking a paradox. With no safe way back and nowhere to go, what else could she do but try to blend in?

And then there’s Jamie Fraser. She’d seen his latent magic the second she’d laid eyes on him, and within an hour of learning his name, she knew he possessed the power to change her life irrevocably. But how could her soulmate turn out to be a semi-magical man from another century? And how would he react when he inevitably learned that the legends and folklore he’d been raised on weren’t so mythical after all?

[veryrealauthorthings]

[ellorypurebloodculture]

EVIL AUTHOR DAY!

It is, once again, 15 February and that means it's Evil Author Day!

(For those who don't know, this is the day every year that authors share snippets of WIP with no guarantee that they will ever be completed.)

Read at your own risk. DO NOT ask for more.

#1 Untitled Severus Snape/Sirius Black (This isn't set in PC 'verse.)

"I," Sirius gritted out, his gray eyes as hard as diamonds, "am nothing like my family."

Severus sneered, "Keep telling yourself that, Black, and you'll be an even better liar than the Dark Lord."

For the second time, Sirius reeled back and flinched.

"You want a chance to prove me wrong? Fine, Snape," Sirius spat, something thick and haunted in his voice, "why were you studying the Dark Arts, then? What possible reason could you have--?"

"--for learning the counter curses listed in the book, right beneath the curses almost every pureblood in Slytherin grew up learning?" Severus interrupted with a sneer. "I wonder, Black, what possible reason a poor, pathetic half-blood with a Muggle for a father might have to be studying such a book."

Sirius paled whiter than a Malfoy.

"Sod off, Black," Severus spat his name, "back to your little posse of people with perfect little lives and play happy families with them. Some of us don't have that luxury."

#2 Untitled Batman fandom

No matter how Dick Grayson shifts, the Nightwing costume chafes. It's been over 100 degrees all week. Even though it's midnight now, the concrete and steel and glass of Gotham City still radiate the heat absorbed throughout the daylight hours.

He's scrolling on his phone, leaning against a gargoyle in The Bowery. Because, and this is worrying on some level -- someone with power must be planning something huge if the small fries aren't even out and about -- he's bored.

Dick's been on patrol for over two hours now and he hasn't run into a single crime. It's almost ... relaxing.

Which is never how someone should feel while covering Red Hood's patrol route while Jason Todd is injured.

Dick's thumb freezes in his scrolling. He blinks. Blinks again. Lifts the white-outs of his domino mask to be sure. Blinks yet again.

"What the hell?"

His thumb is hovering over an article that's going viral online. The headline is: Police Arrest Superman.

#3 Untitled Batfam

"No comment," Dick replied, not even glancing up from his phone.

Ah, the conversation hadn't gone particularly well, it seemed. Either that, or Jason had asked Dick not to share whatever his response was. It was difficult to keep from pressing, but Bruce managed it. It might have taken years, but he had finally reached a good balance between knowing everything about his children and allowing them privacy at the same time.

"Is it over yet?" Tim asked, staring out the window.

"Not unless you have a time travel device in those trousers, Timmy," Dick teased.

Bruce frowned when Dick and Tim turned to face each other, a mischievous look in their eyes. "No, we're not using a time travel device to skip past the auction," Bruce admonished.

Tim huffed.

"Killjoy," Dick muttered.

#4 Untitled Jason Todd/Tim Drake

That was ... flattering.

Tim had received more than his fair share of odd compliments in his life, usually from business partners wanting a better deal from the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, or from a socialite trying to crawl their way into his bed, and so on. But this one, coming from someone like The Red Hood, had more impact than all the frivolous ones did combined.

"And I think it's admirable you stick to your rules," Tim stated, because it was admirable.

Most vigilantes, crime lords, whatever Hood technically counted as--the answer was both--changed their moods on the flip of a coin, redrew their lines in the sand as easily as breathing. But Tim had never once heard of The Red Hood doing that. His lines were drawn in cement, not sand, and everyone could count on him to abide by them at the end of the day. It was comforting, that steadiness, because there wasn't much in Tim's life that was consistent.

#5 Untitled Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd

It felt like Jason had been punched in the gut by someone wearing brass knuckles. The breath whooshed out of him. He ... he hadn't expected that.

"Why ... why didn't you...?" Jason couldn't even get the words out as he struggled to process what Bruce was saying.

Jason would never get to be a vigilante, never get to be a side kick, never get to be a hero. All the time he had spent thinking of names for his alter ego, all the time he spent surreptitiously designing costumes in a sketch pad with his abysmal art skills were for nothing. Because Bruce never intended to let Jason join him out on patrol.

"It's important that you learn how to protect yourself," B said, squeezing Jason's shoulder comfortingly.

So this ... all this time B was giving him fancy self-defense lessons with no intention of letting Jason fly through the Gotham skyline? It was ... what?

"Then why?" Jason demanded, tears in his eyes. Why did B silently dangle that possibility in front of him all this time if it wasn't even on the table as an option in the first place?

"You're my son, Jason," Bruce said, crouching down to look Jason in the eyes. "And that means you'll be a target for abductors. I want you to be as safe as possible."

#6 Untitled Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (This is not set in PC 'verse.)

Harry Potter shifted into his Animagus form with a smirk on his face. It became wily and menacing as he sprouted a muzzle with ebony fur and needle-like teeth. With a nudge of his snout against the emerald and platinum collar on the floor, it magically appeared around his neck.

His boyfriend, while a right prat and a total snob, was the best.

Of all the places his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger in particular, would look for him when he was missing -- was it really too much to ask for a few hours to himself without being interrogated about his whereabouts?! -- they were never going to check to see if he was hanging out with the Slytherins.

To be fair, they didn't have all the information.

He hadn't told them that Sirius had taught him the Animagus Transformation. And, obviously, he hadn't told them he was dating Draco Malfoy either.

It didn't have a single thing to do with him being ashamed of dating a Slytherin. Harry wasn't ashamed. Harry was a Slytherin. He was just hiding out in the lion's tower, like a snake in lion hide.

What he wasn't okay with was the furor that would result if his relationship got out. Harry was sick and tired of being on the cover of every publication in the wizarding world.

Him being in a committed relationship with a pureblood heir, a Malfoy, the son of Voldemort's Right Hand? Yeah, no. He'd pass on that thanks.

Just imagining the headlines made him nauseous.

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

happy evil author day!

here are my three contributions to evil this year

[Working Title] Quinlan Wakes Up in the Past With Two Vod’e Within Reach

complete, but ends with only some questions answered

Commander Thorn/Quinlan Vos/Commander Fox

3,259 words, rated M for post Order 66 everything, and also adult themes, in that Quinlan uses his dick to save the galaxy…just not the way you think

[working title] Goran Takes Korkie to Obi

incomplete, unresolved

past satine kryze/obi-wan kenobi, pre quinlan vos/obi-wan kenobi. this snippet is gen

3, 284 words, rated G

[Working Title] jon is one of the cuy'val dar

incomplete, unresolved

Jon Antilles/Mij Gilamar. this snippet is pretty much gen

2,363 words, rated G for gay space dads haven’t gotten around to anything higher rated yet

and that’s all the evilness I’m capable of this year, I and my endless pile of wips will see you next february 15!

[echoofawind]

Happy Evil Author Day!

[anneamm]

“Did you see this? It says here there’s a list of thirty-six questions that if you ask someone, you’re guaranteed to fall in love.“

Hermione scoffed. “That’s ridiculous. You can’t manufacture true intimacy or love. I can’t believe you would buy into that.”

“Then prove it wrong,” Parvati answered calmly.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Parvati continued. “Try it. Look at it as an experiment. If there’s nothing to it, you’ve got nothing to lose except the time. In fact, I’ll even ensure your success. Do the experiment with Malfoy.”

The beginning of an eighth year fic posted for Evil Author Day 2023. Read it here.

[carnelian-pimpernel]

Evil Author Day gives me the perfect excuse to post this little bit I’ve been playing with when I get stuck on my WIP’s! Not sure if I want to turn it into something real yet, but who knows? 

We live in uncertain times after all. 

      •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

Later, Julian would discover that a docked freighter had been carrying explosive materials that hadn’t been properly stored. 

Later, he would care for the minor injuries and lacerations brought on by the ensuing shockwave. 

Later, he would have to be shaken out of daydreams by nurses who needed him to sign off on treatment reports and discharge notices. 

But for right now, Julian was cradled gently to Garak’s firm chest, halfway pressed against a wall and gasping for breath as Garak held him up. 

When the station had jolted violently, he had to let himself fall. They were in the heavily crowded Promenade and he couldn’t risk someone noticing clumsy and awkward Julian Bashir gracefully avoiding going down. 

So he’d simply twisted enough to avoid breaking something and let himself fall, already cataloging the various aches and pains in his future. 

But instead of finding himself crashing against the floor, his world spun as he was caught in strong arms, pulling him into an unyielding chest. As the aftershocks of the explosion wracked the station, Garak pulled the two of them into the wall, bracing an arm against an outcropping and curling himself protectively around Julian.

Julian didn’t even try to stop himself from sinking into Garak, feeling warm and safe. 

One arm was wrapped around his waist, the other raised over his shoulder, grasping something and keeping both of them effectively bolted to the wall. Both of Julian’s hands were trapped against the soft fabric of Garak’s tunic. He let his hands curl into the fabric, pulling Garak just a fraction closer, using the shaking of the bulkhead as an excuse. 

Their legs were as intertwined as the rest of them and Julian had to focus very carefully on not letting the rocking motion of the station cause any problems to…rise. 

As close as they were pressed together, Julian could only clearly see Garak’s eyes, and for a moment he was lost in them. Their breath mingled between them and Julian could smell that uniquely Garak scent, almost like cinnamon and pine. 

Julian had been equally grateful and annoyed when his comm chirped and Sisko called him to the infirmary. It pulled Garak away before Julian could embarrass himself any further, but he missed him immediately. 

“Garak…” he hesitated before he walked away. “Thank you.” 

“But of course my dear doctor! Anytime!” And then Garak was leaving to check on his shop and Julian had patients to attend to. 

When he finally managed to make his way to the infirmary, very carefully forcing himself to not think about Garak, he wondered idly to himself if he’d be able to bow out of going to the holosuite with Miles. 

He didn’t think he’d be able to focus on flying a plane tonight. 

                 ________________________________________________

He wasn’t able to get out of it. 

“Right. What the hell was that then?!” Miles asked, incensed and red in the face as they stood next to the flaming wreckage of his plane. 

Julian debated playing dumb for all of a millisecond before conceding that it would be pointless. 

“Look, I told you that I was going to be worthless tonight and I meant it. I’ve been…distracted today.” 

Miles rolled his eyes. “Yes, trust me, we’ve all noticed yer obsession with the Cardie.” 

Julian reared back slightly, eyes wide as he stared at his friend. “You noticed?!” 

“Alright so Keiko told me about it, but it doesn’t change the facts.” 

That calmed Julian, but only just slightly. If news had gotten all the way to Miles then everyone on the station knew by now. 

“Look,” Miles began, “Not that I want to- to encourage this at all but. Why don’t you just- you know?” 

Julian raised a brow. “Why don’t I just what, Miles?” 

Miles pulled his aviator’s cap off and shook his head, “Well, no offense mate but, you’ve never exactly hesitated to…instigate something when yer attracted to someone before. What’s stopping you from just getting it outta yer system?” 

Julian paused for a moment and just stared at Miles, unsure how to explain to him that it wasn’t that simple this time. That it couldn’t just be ran out of his system, at least, not for Julian. 

For once Julian didn’t even need to say anything. “Aw naw! Don’t tell me ya actually like the lizard?!” 

Julian smiled sheepishly, but let his voice be defensive. “And what if I do? What would be so bad about that?” 

Miles stared at him, disbelieving. “What would be- Julian! He’s a Cardassian!” 

Julian felt his smile drop away, real anger flowing through him. “Yes, he’s a Cardassian, and I’m a human, and none of it matters! I’m not going to make excuses for him Miles, we both know who and what he is and none of it matters because I love him!” 

Julian inhaled sharply as Miles' eyes widened. He backed away from his friend slightly. His heart was pounding in his chest but his mind was strangely quiet, settled. 

He’d never said it out loud before. 

“I love him, Miles. I know you can’t see it, but he’s a good man. He has so much love in him and he hates himself for it, but I’ve seen it.” Julian passed a hand over his face, a hundred memories running through his mind. Garak asking for forgiveness as he lay dying, the haunted look on his face telling an orphaned girl he couldn’t take her home, Garak smiling at him over a table, hopelessly indulgent. “He’s confusing and infuriating and he drives me crazy. He’s also beautiful and thoughtful and caring, even though he would never admit it.” 

They sat in tense, uncomfortable silence for a moment before Miles spoke. 

“I don’t understand what ya see in him but…anyone with eyes can see that he makes ya happy.” 

Julian whipped his head up to stare at Miles in shock. Miles smiled ruefully, “I can’t say I like it but, I’m yer friend and if he’s what ya want…” he trailed off with a shrug. “If ya love him, why not just tell him?” 

Julian shook his head with a humorless laugh. “He’s spent his whole life being told that he’s unlovable, that love is, is weakness. Even if he wanted me,” and Julian knew that Garak did, could see the lust in his eyes as they argued, “It wouldn’t be the way I want him. It would be meaningless sex. And I don’t think I could do that with him.” 

Miles looked distinctly uncomfortable at the turn the conversation had taken. “Right well…” 

He trailed off, looking around the battlefield they stood in. 

“Want to go get a pint then?” 

Julian just smiled at him, understanding the attempt at comfort for what it was. “Yes, let’s.” 

                 ________________________________________________

“Ya know Julian, I’m still not clear on why ya haven’t just told the Cardie that ya love him!” 

Julian shushed Miles quickly, thankful that they had moved away from the bar to play darts. He cast a glance around them and relaxed slightly when he didn’t notice anyone around them listening in. 

“Say it a little louder, I don’t think they heard you in the neighboring system.” 

Miles just rolled his eyes at him as he leveled his last shot and let it fly. He went on, fully unrepentant. “I’m serious! I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” 

It was Julian’s turn to roll his eyes. “Ah yes, how could that possibly go wrong. Hello Garak, I know that you’re my best friend and that it would be a horrible abuse of my position on this station, not to mention as your doctor, but I have something to tell you.” 

He threw his first dart.

“I know that you only tolerate my company because you’ve been exiled here and you don’t have much choice, since even though I’m an ‘infuriating pest’ I’m the only one with any hope of keeping up with you and your exhausting Cardassian literature-”

His second hit the target.

“But the fact of the matter is that I am desperately, hopelessly, in love with you and have been for some time!” 

His third dart landed. 

He realized belatedly that his chest was heaving and that in his passion he’d forgotten to dull his abilities.

Every dart was in the bulls-eye. 

He turned to a shocked Miles. Julian was honestly unsure if the Chief was more surprised at his outburst or his suddenly incredible darts skills. 

Thankfully, Miles took the darts as a lucky chance. “Wow, if talking about Garak makes you aim like that, we should put you in charge of the weapons the next time the Jem’Hadar show up.” 

Julian huffed at him and shook his head. “My point is that telling him would be pointless and most likely very painful. I’d rather have his friendship than nothing at all.” 

Miles seemed to accept this, nodding as he put away their darts. He clapped a hand to Julian’s shoulder and guided him to the exit. 

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think he’d be damn lucky to have you.” 

Julian smiled at his friend in thanks and they made plans for a few days later as they left Quark’s. 

Above them, a shadowed figure watched them leave, leant against the guardrails of the upper level of the bar. 

“Yes Chief,” Garak rumbled to himself, “I rather think I would be.” 

He smiled to himself and straightened, plans already forming for his dear doctor Bashir. 

                ________________________________________________

Garak was trying to kill him. 

Not literally obviously, Julian had never actually been as worried about that as he maybe should have been. Truthfully, by the time it had occurred to him to be afraid of it, he already trusted Garak enough to disregard it out of hand. 

Something that Garak had berated him for effusively, which of course, had just made Julian dig his heels in further. 

Trusting someone partially to spite them was a strange kind of feeling, but Julian relished it anyway. 

So no, Garak wasn’t literally trying to kill him. 

But Julian wasn’t sure he was going to survive this anyway.

[rachelfivehundred]

Teaser trailer for the stories I have lined up for the upcoming Evil Author day and International Fandom day!

[lorenzobane]

Oh! It's evil author day. Have some of my Sweet Home Alabama!Garashir AU.

Summary: Chief Medical Officer Julian Bashir suddenly finds himself engaged to his new partner, Ezri Dax. Normally that would be a cause for celebration... Except for one minor detail. Technically, Julian is still married to someone else. A certain Mr. Elim Garak.

-----

Julian wakes up smiling as a series of sweet kisses pepper down his neck, and he squirms happily into his bedding to enjoy both sensations a bit longer. 

“It’s time to wake up,” an amused, sweet voice says, and he smiles unconsciously. 

“Five more minutes?” He asks, turning slightly so he can face the other body in his bed more easily. 

“You,” Ezri replies, her messy black hair spilling in every direction, “will be late. How did you make it to anything on time without me?” 

Julian grins more broadly. “I truly cannot remember now.” 

She smiles and flings blankets at his face. “Get up. I want breakfast before the staff meeting.” 

They go to ops together, hands lazily intertwined as they reach. Ezri breaks off before he gets to the senior staff meeting- without the war and Sisko, she is no longer technically considered Senior Staff. 

He greets everyone else at the table and nods jauntily at Kira. 

“You seem happy this morning, Julian,” Nerys says. 

“You make it sound so unusual,” Julian replies. 

She rolls her eyes and starts the meeting, and Julian opens his spreadsheets to his staffing needs and inventory. The rest of the staff circles around and discusses their weekly needs and inventory requirements- Julian makes sure to request more general analgesics, and they’re free to go. 

Thank god because he has something to talk to Kira about. 

“Nerys,” Julian calls as she starts to walk out of the room. 

She turns around, and Julian is struck by how much calmer she is and more content and in command of herself. She is a wonderful person and an even better friend. Which is why– 

“I have something to tell you!” 

“Well?” She replies, amused. 

“Well…” He trails off. “Well! I’m going to ask Ezri to marry me.” 

“Marry… you…” Kira repeats. “Julian! That’s… Wonderful! Truly, I’m very happy for you. But, well, are you sure? This is pretty sudden. You’ve only been dating for six months.”

Julian smiles softly, “when you know! Besides, I feel very calm around her. Content. I never feel too much of anything.” 

“And that’s a… Good thing?” Nerys asks. 

“Yes! Goodness, you of all people should know how, well, I can be a bit too much. And this relationship and Ezri are really helping. Of course, I love her too. Obviously. She’s remarkable.” 

“Well, in that case,” Nerys starts, though her smile seems forced, “I give you my blessing if that’s why you’re here.”

Julian laughs. “No! I want you to perform the ceremony. Though I am happy that you approve.”

“She’s already said yes?” Nerys asks, raising an eyebrow.

Julian smiles a bit sheepishly and says, “not just yet, but I’m confident!” 

She looks at him, exasperated and amused. “If she says yes, then, of course, I will.” 

Julian is practically walking on air for the rest of his shift, cheerfully blazing through bodily fluids and unhappy parents and research. He’s booked Ezri’s favorite holoprogram of a hike on Trill and asked Quark to pack a picnic with her favorite spring wine. He knows he’s vibrating by the end of his shift. Julian had come close to proposing once, with Palis on Earth, and he had planned it. 

But this is different, adult. 

He’s still lightly whistling when he realizes that he hasn’t talked to Miles today. Even though his shift is technically over, he jumps into his office in the infirmary and pulls up Miles O’Brien on the comm. 

“Julian?” Miles asks, a bit groggy. Oops, Julian forgot to consider the time difference in his excitement. 

“Miles! Sorry to wake you, I just… You know how I mentioned I was proposing to Ezri last week?” 

“Yes?” Miles says, a bit suspicious. 

“Well! That day has come; it’s today! I was hoping you could wish me luck.” 

Miles rubs his eyes but smiles. “I’m happy for you, Julian. Now, if you could save your good news for a time o’ day that isn’t the middle of the night, I’d also appreciate that.” 

Julian chuckles, letting Miles’ rough voice coast over him. “Sorry again. I’ll let you know what happens after dinner. Sleep well.” 

“Blood–” Then Miles stops suddenly and shakes himself. “Julian, really. I am happy for you. You’ve been lonely a long time, and Ezri’s a good girl. You could do a lot worse.” 

“Not sure I could do better, actually,” Julian replies, feeling quite warm. 

Miles chuckles at that. “Damn straight. Now, good luck! Once more unto the breach, and all that.” 

Julian shakes his head fondly and cuts the line. He looks at the time and sees he has just enough to get ready and meet her at the holosuite, which he does. He forcibly keeps down his anxiety and levels his pulse. 

He idly wonders how people without control over their nervous system manage to do this without fainting. 

“--And then Lieutenant Perfect tells me that I’ve misfiled my form,” Ezri continues as she leads him up the path. “It's not my fault that a genetically modified super genius designed the filing system for the medical department!” 

“Complaining about the boss?” Julian asks playfully. “I’ll have you know that my filing system is the envy of all. Just last month, Dr. Crusher visited and was in awe. Asked me to walk her through my file naming conventions.” 

Ezri rolls her eyes. “She only did that because she feels bad about sleeping with you when she was your medical ethics professor.” 

Julian huffs. “Unfair! You only know that because I told Jadzia!” 

Ezri’s face crinkles sweetly as she laughs at him, and Julian lets the sound fill his mind. As they crest the hike's summit, Julian takes a deep breath. The stunning natural beauty of the Trill homeworld is spilling out all around them. It’s perfect. 

Slowly, he approaches Ezri, still facing the remarkable vista, and lowers himself onto one knee. He knows that this is a human marriage custom that Ezri will recognize, and she had mentioned previously that she did not want a traditional Trill proposal. 

“Julian!” She says, still gazing out. “Look at–” 

Her eyes go wide as she sees him kneeling there, a small velvet box in his hand. 

“Julian– are you?” 

“Ezri,” he starts after a deep breath. “I know this might seem quick, but I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this calm around another person in my entire life. You make me happy, and I would like to spend the rest of my life making you happy. So, Ezri Tigan Dax,” he makes sure to include her pre-joined last name, “will you–” 

“Yes!” She cries, flinging herself at him.

“Marry me?” He finishes with a laugh, wrapping an arm around her and inhaling deeply. 

“Oh, yes,” she replies. Her stunning blue eyes are awash with tears, and her smile is so bright that he thinks he just might match it. 

He carefully pulls the necklace out of the box, explaining, “you work a lot with your hands. I didn’t want it to get caught on anything.” 

“Oh, Julian,” she breathes, “it’s beautiful.” 

And Julian Bashir is confident, at that moment, that nothing could bring him down. 

—---

“What the hell do you mean?” Julian barks, not quite able to help but glare at Kira, who looks like she’s going to laugh. 

“I mean, you can’t get married, Julian. You already are married.” 

Julian looks frantically over at Ezri, whose face is frozen and unreadable. “Ezri, I swear, I have no clue what she is talking about.” 

“I mean, you’re–” 

“How can I possibly be married? You’d think I’d remember a little something like that, given my perfect memory.” 

“I guess not that perfect, Julian. Because you got married about two years ago.” 

“What?” Julian replies, even more baffled now. “On the station? To who?” 

Kira is fully chuckling now, but Ezri seems to have thawed. 

“Remember that one mission where you and Garak went to Alpha Sigma IV?” 

“Yes?” Julian answers cautiously. 

“Well, it appears you got married there.”

[thiawen]

Since I’ve asked about challenges recently, I wanted take a minute to talk about my favorite challenges that I follow. (Though I confess I have yet to participate even though I’ve followed them for years. Someday, damnit.)

These are all multi fandom events that are free for everyone to follow and participate. I highly recommend them.

First up: Evil Author Day

EAD is an annual event that occurs every February 15. It’s where authors post any of their Works In Progress for people to get a peak at and enjoy. Here’s the evil part - there are no promises attached to these snippets. The author may never get back to it. There may never be more than what you see or they may finish it next week. It’s read at your own risk. Seriously.

Jilly James maintains a masterlist of EAD participants that can be found here:

This goes back to 2015 and it’s still going strong. I encourage anyone who wants to participate. I’m thinking of doing so myself this year. When the time comes, you can drop a link to Jilly and she will add you to the masterlist.

Next: Quantum Bang

Quantum Bang is a Big Bang Writing Event and the theme is fix-it fics. It’s been going for a few years now and I love it. It’s too late for anyone else to participate this year but posting begins in June for anyone who wants to see this years offers. They also maintain an archive of previous years if you want to check it out. There are some absolutely amazing fics there and I highly recommend it.

You can find the website and archive here:

You can sort the archive by years, fandom, genre, author and artist. Very convenient.

Next: Rough Trade

Rough Trade is a multi fandom theme challenge. There are three challenges a year in April, July, and November. It’s technically two themes at a time and you can do one or the other or both. Whatever you want. The challenges for 2023 will be as follows:

April: Crossover / Found Family

July: The Sentinel / Natural Disaster

November: Magical World / Second Chances

You can check it out here:

You have to become a member to dig deeper into the site but anyone can sign up and subscribe.

Last: The Big Moxie

The Big Moxie is another multi fandom themed challenge but I think its a little more flexible than Rough Trade. Here are the Rules:

1. Minimum 5,000 words count (no maximum)

2. Any fandom (no RPF)

3. No limit on the number of stories

4. Only unpublished works qualify

The Big Moxie is a quarterly challenge. It’s too late to sign up for the first quarter this year but here they are:

Q1 - Inexplicable Babies

Q2 - Fusion/Crossover

Q3 - Friends to Lovers

Q4 - Time Travel

You can also find the To Every Season Challenge on this site. It’s a seasonal theme challenge that I’m sure a lot of people would enjoy.

Original Winter – January – March

Theme: Original Characters

Alternative Spring – April – June

Theme: Gender and Sexuality expressions outside of the binary

Sapphic Summer – July – September

Theme: Femslash pairing (Yes, it can be platonic)

Vibrant Autumn – October – December

Theme: Characters of color

You can find the site here:

I hope everyone enjoys all of these as much as I have. And I encourage anyone who wants to participate. It’s open to everyone and the fandoms and fics I’ve seen have been diverse and amazing. Go check it out.

[somandalicious]

For Evil Author Day:

Title: The Good Time Girl

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Draco/Hermione

Summary: After an ugly breakup, Hermione isn’t looking for Romance, but she might consider a Good Time

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45074425/chapters/113389861

[lukecastellan]

evil author day!!

i literally just learned what this is (you post a snippet from a story with no strings attached as to when or if it will be continued, basically), and so im gonna use it as an opportunity to share a bit from one of my original stories :)

If you do read it, let me know how you feel and also, what you think the story is about!!

Jake had known these people for three full years now, and the absolutely worst part of attending a boarding school was that he was never truly free of them. Some of the peers he had hardly exchanged more than ten words with, and yet he could confidently exclaim what their preferences were, what they were insecure about, all of the specifics of their godforsaken allergies.

Alexandre Carvalho didn’t have any allergies, for example, though he was uncharacteristically afraid of bees, nimbly circling around locations whenever he faintly spotted one. Still, that had never stopped him from being constantly outdoors, soaking in the ever glorious afternoon sun, always involuntarily pushing different parts of his body to practice something soccer related, which he obstinately referred to as football. And despite its international curriculum and mostly exported student body and faculty, Farlow Academy was obsessed with soccer. So they were obsessed with Alex, too.

“Jacob?” He heard Miss Belmont nudge, apparently not for the first time.

He feigned embarrassment. “Sorry, Ma’am. I guess my brain hasn’t fully settled down from vacation mode. What was the question?”

His teacher gave him an endearing smile. “That is quite alright. I asked everyone to give me one or two words projecting what they expect this year to be. Could be individually, or on a worldwide scale, if that is easier.”

He considered the task, but it was challenging to squeeze a sincere reply out of his overridden brain. 

His mind was too focused on the memory of Alex Carvalho’s deltoids compressed inside his jersey as he headed a ball to a winning goal and the entire school erupted in celebration, dripping with conquest, while Jake remained motionless in the bleachers.

Jake closed his eyes in contemplation, urging himself not to veer too crookedly into his frustrations, digging deep into his heart in order to find the proper answer.

Alex going neck to neck with him for top student; Alex winning the election for class president in a landslide; Alex speaking three languages fluently, his piercingly green eyes glinting as he sheepishly accepted more praise.

Alex being asked to join DeLa. His DeLa, his dream, his aspirations, his future.

Jake forcefully pressed the tip of his pencil until it caved, enjoying the brief seconds of tingling pain as it pierced his skin.

“Turnaround,” he finally uttered, taming his anger, consciously choosing to take control. “It is the year where everything changes.”

__________

[ellorypurebloodculture]

EVIL AUTHOR DAY!

So, for those who don't know, Evil Author Day is a yearly event that takes place on 15 February.

It's an opportunity for authors to be a little bit (or a lotta bit) evil by sharing snippets from WIPs, idea files, etc., with the understanding that there is NO GUARANTEE WHATSOEVER that these stories will ever be completed.

Seriously, read at your own risk!

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

1. Working Title: Probably a Line From a Poem, Not Poe, It's Too Angsy

Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy

Harry Potter shifted into his Animagus form with a smirk on his face. It became wily and menacing as he sprouted a muzzle with ebony fur and needle-like teeth. With a nudge of his snout against the emerald and platinum collar on the floor, it magically appeared around his neck.

His boyfriend, while a right prat and a total snob, was the best.

Of all the places his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger in particular, would look for him when he was missing -- was it really too much to ask for a few hours to himself without being interrogated about his whereabouts?! -- they were never going to check to see if he was hanging out with the Slytherins.

To be fair, they didn't have all the information.

He hadn't told them that Sirius had taught him the Animagus Transformation. And, obviously, he hadn't told them he was dating Draco Malfoy either.

It didn't have a single thing to do with him being ashamed of dating a Slytherin. Harry wasn't ashamed. Harry was a Slytherin. He was just hiding out in the lion's tower, like a snake in lion hide.

What he wasn't okay with was the furor that would result if his relationship got out. Harry was sick and tired of being on the cover of every publication in the wizarding world.

Him being in a committed relationship with a pureblood heir, a Malfoy, the son of Voldemort's Right Hand? Yeah, no. He'd pass on that thanks.

Just imagining the headlines made him nauseous.

2. Working Title: Probably Shakespeare in the End

Pairing: Viktor Krum/Harry Potter

"Er, thanks," Harry said, baffled.

He wasn't used to people supporting him. Well, people that weren't Hermione or Ron Weasley. So he wasn't quite sure how to react to Krum saying that Harry belonged on his own merits.

"You're velcome," Viktor said.

At the exact same time, Barty Crouch's voice rose high enough to drown out everyone else. "There's nothing for it! The contract is magically binding. Potter must compete."

Harry didn't understand why his stomach sank to his toes at the words. He had known they wouldn't do anything. Adults never did, did they? They were rubbish. When had an adult ever stopped these hellacious nightmares adventures that kept appearing in his life one after the other?

Some days, Harry wished he had never gotten that first letter, which set everything into motion. Sometimes, he wished that Rubeus Hagrid had never found him on that tiny island in a storm, never placed yet another Hogwarts letter in his hands.

Some days, the words, "Yer a wizard, Harry," gave him waking nightmares.

As much as life with the Dursleys was awful, at least he had never killed anyone there, or nearly been killed, or nearly lost his soul.

3. Working Title: In Which We Make Harry and Blaise Love Each Other Because We Can

Pairing: Harry Potter/Female Blaise Zabini

"One would think that even you would have better taste than this," a voice Harry couldn't quite place said.

He spun around on the piano bench, wand brandished. The war ended only a few months ago; his instincts and reactions were still on a hair-trigger. For Merlin's sake, he pulled his wand on Neville a few days ago.

Neville learned how to walk quietly during the time he spent in a castle ruled by Death Eaters masquerading as professors. And Harry learned that quiet footsteps were usually someone attempting to sneak up on him during the year he was on the run.

Blaise Zabini rolled her dark eyes at Harry's wand as if Harry was being histrionic. The shadows in the room lent an even darker shade to her skin than normal.

But for all the disdain in Blaise's voice, there was none to see on her face. If anything, she looked bored.

"What are you doing here, Zabini?"

4. Working Title: Let's Be Real, It'll Probably Be Shakespeare or Poe

Pairing: Undecided

"Kriff," Anakin Skywalker hisses as he fights the controls of his shuttle. If he crashes again, it'll be the third time in the past two months and Obi-Wan Kenobi will never let him live it down.

R2-D2 beeps warningly behind him.

"I know, R2, I see it!" Anakin says, doing his best to keep the shuttle from crashing into the side of the mountain on ... whatever planet's gravitational field he got sucked into after the Separatists got in a lucky shot.

The trees are purple, the clouds are green, and it's only the sight of animals fleeing that gives him hope the atmosphere will be breathable for humans and near-humans.

"Gener--" Captain Rex's voice comes over the comm, staticky and broken. "--walker."

"You're breaking up, Rex!" Anakin says.

He hauls in the controls and breathes a sigh of relief when the shuttle scrapes against the mountain with a loud screeching sound. At least the hull hasn't been compromised. That would--

Something hits the right engine. The shuttle spins out of control.

He sees a massive lake of yellow water through the purple trees, wraps himself and R2-D2 in the Force to protect them as much as possible, and then slams into the ground.

He blacks out moments later.

5. Working Title: I Never Have a Clue Until It's Over

Pairing: None, Batfam genfic

"No comment," Dick replied, not even glancing up from his phone.

Ah, the conversation hadn't gone particularly well, it seemed. Either that, or Jason had asked Dick not to share whatever his response was. It was difficult to keep from pressing, but Bruce managed it. It might have taken years, but he had finally reached a good balance between knowing everything about his children and allowing them privacy at the same time.

"Is it over yet?" Tim asked, staring out the window.

"Not unless you have a time travel device in those trousers, Timmy," Dick teased.

Bruce frowned when Dick and Tim turned to face each other, a mischievous look in their eyes. "No, we're not using a time travel device to skip past the auction," Bruce admonished.

Tim huffed.

"Killjoy," Dick muttered.

6. Working Title: "Can We Just Agree That This Never Happened?"

Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy

Harry Potter almost fell from his Firebolt to the Quidditch Pitch below, he was so stunned. Had that ... had that really just happened? It couldn't possibly be real, could it? Because if it was, that meant--

He wiped the sleeve of his Quidditch robes across his glasses, even though they were perfectly clear, no smudges of any kind. It wasn't raining or snowing or overcast. In fact, the sun was bright in the sky from where it had broken the horizon about half an hour past.

"Merlin," Draco Malfoy said, looking just as stunned as Harry felt. "Did I--?"

Harry stared at the Golden Snitch, which was in Malfoy's hand, from where he had grabbed it right before Harry could during their weekend Seeker's Match.

Malfoy had never beaten Harry to the Snitch before. Never. Not in the many, many official or unofficial matches where they had faced off against one another.

Harry blinked rapidly, licked his lower lip, and said, "Can we just agree that this never happened?"

7. Working Title: Feed the Spark, Save the World

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

”I swear if you tell me you don’t know what you want for dinner one more time, I will end this relationship right here and now!" Stiles Stilinski snarls as he stabs Derek Hale's irritatingly perfect pec with his breakable human finger.

He's grouchy and still sore from when the witch blasted him into a tree in the Preserve last week and he didn't sleep at all last night because he fell down the Wikipedia rabbit hole. He now knows how toilet paper is created and has learned how it can be used, in the right circumstances with certain ingredients, to make a cast, if absolutely necessary.

Derek frowns with the eyebrows of doom.

Stiles gasps. "Don't talk to me like that, Sourwolf!"

He's not in the mood for the drama of Beacon Hills. Can't they have one day of being teenagers without worrying they'll be murdered by the newest Big Bad?

That's all he wants. A day to relax and not have to worry or stress. A day to chill with his boyfriend and delude himself into believing that they don't live in a literal hellmouth.

Derek shrugs into his leather jacket, which emphasizes the breadth of his shoulders even more than the Henley does, and grabs his keys, head cocked to the side.

Stiles grins and chases after his Alpha with all the grace of Bambi when he first learned to walk.

"I knew you loved me!" Stiles sing-songs.

A milkshake and curly fries at the diner sound perfect.

8. Working Title: Frequent Kidnapping Promotion

Pairing: Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi

Roxanne Ritchi leaned closer to the mirror, double-checking her eyeliner. It had to be perfect, sharp and distinct and properly set so that it wouldn't smear when Minion pulled the bag off of her head. She really hoped it had been washed since her previous kidnapping. The smell was getting unbearable.

Satisfied, she used an extreme amount of hairspray on her short brown hair. The last thing she needed was for it to frizz and fluff everywhere when the bag came off. Especially since Megamind always broadcast his schemes across Metro City after taking over the news stations.

Roxanne was a reporter and she had an image to maintain. If that image involved primping and enough hairspray to make her a walking fire hazard, well ... that was beside the point.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she said, rushing into her bedroom to snatch up her frequent kidnapping card. She couldn't forget that today. She was only one punch away from having an entirely full punch card, and the reward was something she always looked forward to: an entire day to explore in Megamind's Evil LairTM and play with his inventions.

Roxanne slid her frequent kidnapping card in her purse, which Minion always remembered to bring along when he kidnapped her, and took a last glance around her apartment.

"Keys. Purse. Cell phone," she muttered, double-checking. "I think that's everything."

She left her apartment with a swish of her lucky purple skirt. Other people might not have been able to figure out Megamind's pattern, claiming it was random and incomprehensible, but Roxanne always knew exactly when she would be kidnapped. It directly correlated to which stars and constellations were in the sky. It was almost embarrassing that no one else seemed to have figured it out.

Then again, she was an exceptional investigative journalist.

She stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor, grinning when the doors opened to reveal a small blue cube on the floor where the doorman should be. Any second now--

Blackness ate Roxanne's vision.

9. Working Title: Pitch Black, The Nightmare King

Pairing: None, RotG genfic.

CW: Violence, dark imagery.

They didn't hear him. They didn't see him. They walked right past him as if he didn't exist.

He was a king.

The Nightmare King.

“I am your king!” Pitch Black roared.

There would be no forgiveness for their trespass; it didn’t matter that they couldn’t see him. It didn’t matter if the adults believed in him or not. That didn’t affect his powers in the slightest. There would be retribution for their crime.

“I wonder,” Pitch said, manifesting his scythe of black sand and shadows in his hand, “what nightmares blossom in the hellish pits of your minds.”

Pitch didn’t need to see his own grin to know it was macabre and nightmare-inducing on its own. After witnessing all the flinching and fleeing and gluttonously feeding on mortals’ fear back in the Dark Ages, when he ruled from the poles to the equator in every direction, Pitch knew exactly the effect his gaunt gray skin and black lips and razor sharp teeth created.

It was only mildly irritating that he wouldn’t get to see their reaction to his appearance.

As if it were a guillotine in his hands, Pitch swung his scythe through all three necks in one swipe. Then he laughed, the sound of rabid dogs filling the night air, as the men turned on one another with horrific screams and carved each other open, their insides spilling out like a rotten pumpkin.

10. Working Title: The Taste of Mud and Worms

Pairing: None, Batfam genfic

CW: Character is buried alive.

"He's having a flashback. Hood, answer us!" Nightwing says, voice buzzing in his ear. "What's the status on his trackers, Red?"

"I'm working on it. He changed the encryption again," Red Robin answers, voice tight.

Jason presses his hands against the lid of the coffin, nausea rising as he watches the satin lining wrinkle beneath his grip through wet eyes. Wood is firm and solid behind it. The coffin lid doesn't shift no matter how much desperate strength he puts behind it, adrenaline burning through him.

"No. Not again," Jason sobs, the lights on his helmet the only thing keeping the darkness from swallowing him whole.

Batman's voice is tense when he orders, "Red Hood, repor--!"

"Dad! Get me out! I'm sorry, okay? I'll stop killing people. Please, B, don't make me crawl out of my grave a second time. Please!" Jason begs, shaking so hard his teeth chatter.

There's a stunned silence on the comms before everyone starts yelling at once.

Jason can't focus on what they're saying, though.

His mouth tastes like mud and worms.