carnelian-pimpernel

[carnelian-pimpernel]

An adaptation of Sherlock Holmes set in a world in which the fictional character/literary juggernaut Sherlock Holmes, and all the subsequent adaptations thereof, still exist.

Sherlock Holmes (pronounced Holl-mess, as he is constantly reminding people) just had the misfortune of having parents who really liked the books, and his attitude towards his fictional counterpart is pretty much the same as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Sherlock runs a Youtube Theory channel called Mysteries Unwrapped with Sherlock Holmes. He has received no less than seven cease and desist letters from the Conan Doyle estate, all of which he has so faded managed to rebuff by pointing out that that's literally his name.

(No he won't change his name. He's Sherlock Holmes the real live human person. Let Sherlock Holmes the non existent fictional character change his name.)

John is Sherlock's flatmate. Sherlock almost refused to live with him once he realised that it would mean staying with a medical student named John, and only gave in once John pointed out that: a) he's a biomedical student, which is completely different from an md, and b) his surname isn't Watson.

It's now been three years, which is long enough for them to have developed a genuine friendship, and for John to have a) started working towards his PhD in biotechnology, and b) for him to start dating somebody with the surname Watson.

Sherlock can feel the narrative closing in.

His Youtube channel is meant to be focused on lost media, fan theories and stuff like that, but he keeps accidentally stumbling upon and then solving genuine crimes.

His brother Mycroft may or may not have chosen that name after he transitions specifically to annoy him.

He doesn't even live in London, but somehow the only flat they could afford was on a street named fucking Baker Street.

Sherlock Holmes and the Unescapable Power of the Narrative.

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Friendships as a teenager: we used to talk 5 hours every night now it’s down to 3… are we still friends 🤔? I wonder if they don’t like me anymore

Friendships as an adult: omg I’ve finally cleared up 20 minutes of my schedule to talk to my friend I haven’t spoken to in 4 months #bffs #we will find eachother in every life

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I take my art practice very seriously y’all

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Me, fighting a yoga mom in the organic food market circa 2023: take your hand off that peach or I’ll vaccinate your children against polio

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Even Weird Al has had that™ experience with Tony Hawk

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I want a black t-shirt styled like a metal band tee, with skulls and purple flames and shit and dramatic gothic font text on the front that says

YOU MUST SUFFER ME TODAY

and on the back it reads

I MUST SUFFER ME FOREVER

[carnelian-pimpernel]

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

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when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

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forgive yourself again and again and again and again and again

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ATTENTION NEW TUMBLR USERS: This website is different from twitter and there are actually four (4) things that every blog needs. Go to the woods and fetch the cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as yellow as corn, the slipper as pure as gold

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https://twitter.com/Kbearart/status/1433601390429892621

wizard

thats plectronoceras its the first 100% definite cephalopod in the fossil record, wizard friend :)

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Zoozve, my beloved

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This episode was gold

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THERE BUT FOR THE GEESE OF GOD

PDF and text-only versions (PWYW)

Post on Grant's Patreon about visiting Poland and hearing about the legend of St. Martin and the Geese

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everyone shut the fuck up and look at this snake named barcode