#Evie watches Koisenu Futari

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Japan just blessed us with another aromantic! Asano Tomoko, 1 of the 2 leads in Konya Sukiyaki Dayo. I love that it wasn’t just a one and done mention either, she’s brought it up multiple times in just the first 2 eps alone!

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hhehehehehehe octoberrrrrrr

on one hand i still dont like that twitter post and also the allonormative culture/gatekeeping/aphobia from the larger queer (allos only) community

on the other hand my depressive spiral is pretty over now and ive discovered more about ace/aro stuff, followed more ace/aro blogs, joined the r/asexual discord and subreddit, the aro and aego subreddits, the ace sex-favorable/curious kink-friendly sub and discord (lets be real tho ill probably just lurk but its nice to know they exist+educational and relatable posts), kinky ace bsdm sex educator/youtuber Evie Lupine (bro she seems so friendly and understanding in all her videos its so nice!), some books fiction and non-fiction about aces/aspect by aces/aspec, a jdrama to watch (koisenu futari), and also have a ton of ace/aro positivity and educational posts in my drafts that im gonna schedule to be posted on ace week this year so yayyyyyyyyy.

also have a random bell hooks quote that i kinda agree with on how the sex positivity movement is very very allonormative. like. everyone assumes that everyone will have sex someday and will say yes at least once eventually someday, but what about those who will say no every time, not bc they’re “broken” or “frigid” or “prude/puritans”, but just bc they’re just not interested in it.

The focus on “sexual liberation” has always carried with it the assumption that the goal of such effort is to make it possible for individuals to engage in more and/or better sexual activity. Yet one assumption of sexual norms that many people find oppressive is the assumption that one “should” be engaged in sexual activity. This “should” is one expression of sexual coercion. Advocates of sexual liberation often imply that any individual who is not concerned about the quality of their experience or exercising greater sexual freedom is mentally disturbed or sexually repressed.

— bell hooks, Ending female sexual oppression

hehehehehe this oct 23 - 29 will be an interesting interesting time on main

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Preach, Takahashi! Don’t use love as an excuse for bad behaviour!

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They’re really touching on all the ways people can be aphobic and I appreciate them so much for shining a light on that but also this is drama is being too relatable oof

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Crying because Takahashi really thought that if they no longer lived together their relationship would just disappear like they never met - that if he pursued his dream they would both be alone in the world again. He values the family they built so much that he was willing to sacrifice his dream just to hold on to it. It never crossed his mind that Sakuko would still want to be a family with him even if they lived apart. He didn’t think he could have both - his life was always a game of sacrifice, of concessions “if you want this you can’t have this other thing”, but here Sakuko is telling him it’s ok for him to go after what makes him happy. The relationship they have will not disappear, they will always be family.

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“In the beginning, I didn’t think that we could become a family without romantic feelings involved. But now I think we can. So, I don’t want to go back to being alone.

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“When I think of it, I always lived a life giving up on things.”

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“Not at all” liar lol. Petition for the drama to end with them celebrating becoming a family by eating crab

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The moment she started I knew what she was going to say, and honestly I hated her for it, because I’ve had such things aimed at me too many times. I don’t care if it’s off-handed, meant to somehow be nice, or if you’re venting, it’s not something we have ever appreciated hearing. Like, if people acknowledge us at all they confront us with a type of... envy? They don’t actually want to be aroace, but they see us and go “ah it must be nice being aroace”, saying they wish to switch with us “ah~ I want to become aroace (like it’s a choice) i’m tired of feeling sad/struggling you have it so much easier”, entirely disregarding the fact that we’re human beings that do feel pain and loneliness and have our own struggles - not just in general, but also specifically concerning our orientation. They treat us like we live in an emotionless void where life is just easier, like we live free of any emotions or concerns so we can’t be hurt. It hurts a lot when people say these things, and you could see that pain all over Sakuko’s face.

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I saw this coming, but it’s so sad to watch. To watch them both lose someone precious to them over things neither of them have any control over. She can’t help but love Sakuko, and Sakuko can’t help it that she’s aromantic. In the end they both just end up hurting each other... I hope one day they’ll be able to meet again as friends

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locked on target

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To be caught off guard by someone you thought you were just platonically close to is something I totally understand. And then to have to be the one to reject and hurt them and wonder...

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It’s almost more painful when someone you love doesn’t mean to hurt you, their worry is coming from a place of care, but they can’t imagine or accept that you are happy just as you are. Their worry becomes a thorn in your heart.