#Everyone works differently and i know he doesnt control it but i feel... Not used but like... Like i only was worth

[mrfoox]

Maybe I'm petty but the guy that I basically turned down a month back... Is still kinda messaging me half heartedly and I just... Im over him lmao

[angy-grrr]

A thought about the leaks:

It makes more sense when you think about Izuku Midoriya as an unreliable narrator who wanted to talk about a hero story.

He doesnt want us, the audience, to know about the depth of his own feelings and emotions, because this is the story of how he and the rest of the class kept reaching out their hands to those in need of help.

Something that kind of surprised me when he talked to Ochako was how he would frame it almost like "you are my hero as you have reached out your hand to me multiple times since the beginning, and I want to also be a hero to you too, so I must help you with everyone else"; he wants to be a hero from the beginning to the end, and this act of kindness for Ochako and need to let out her emotions for Himiko is framed as heroic. This is him being a hero.

Who saves the heroes? Other heroes, instead of being alone. And anyone can be a hero. This is a story about it.

Izuku has no intentions of showing off his trauma, his loneliness, his pain, outside of what's heroic; he cant even talk about romantic feelings without going back to it.

It made me feel much better, to see it that way; its not that the whole story ends with what he said, he is literally skipping all he parts that wouldn't be part of a cool hero story.

He parallels AFO after all.

I think it makes sense considering how much different Ochako's feelings and thoughts are depending on who tells the story; when we have her POV while fighting Himiko everything is personal and emotional, but when she explains her feelings to Deku she doesnt even mention anything related to how much she wanted her in her life, besides the childhood friends comment, and even brings up the uses of her quirk. Its like she is comparing herself to Deku? Like if she noticed those things about quirks instead of focusing on the emotional aspect, then maybe she could have helped her sooner. And in the final chapter, when she is mentioned, its about her heroic work, not about how much they talked, or their hangouts, or anything like that.

Izuku skips the handhold, and I want to believe its bc it wouldnt make it for the hero story. He doesnt talk about what he felt when he sacrificed himself for the first time, but we saw his anger and his uncontrolled pain. He doesnt talk about how he forgives him, but we saw how much he always wanted him in his life. He doesnt talk about Katsuki dying. but we saw how someone else had to tell him they didnt lose anyone yet and he was getting help. Control your heart. Izuku hits his chest, black whip makes a heart, and he focuses in what he knows to do: heroics. He will save, and he will fight to save.

Another reason why he wouldnt bring back his own feelings when it comes to imitating Katsuki unconsciously even if he knows others would dislike it; he wants to be selfless hero Deku, and while he does admire Katsuki and cherish his company, he knows he himself wouldnt get a pass to be rude when he isnt as brilliant as him from his perspective.

And like any hero would, he wants his friends by his side, and forever to help others. That's what he wants to represent in his hero academia, another saving hero like his All Might.

(Also apparently Horikoshi and his team were especially pressured by Shonen Jump during these months and he admits he found it rushed, so once again the capitalistic corporation is the evil to defeat. This is just my own interpretation in universe)

[dr-spectre]

Hello everyone, I got some announcements to share and some plans for the future of this blog now that the Grand Fest is over and the news drought begins.

(LONG POST AHEAD!!!!)

I think going forward I'm gonna change how I approach myself acting online and be less "OH MY GOD HOLY SHITENWIOEDISIWIEOE GUYYS!!!"

Because to be honest with you all... I've been feeling very self conscious about the way that I've been acting online and I feel like I gotta channel my passion for Splatoon in a much more healthy and less EXTREMEEEEE way.

I am aware that um.... people have blocked me... and you know, that's to be expected of course when you are online and you're slowly building a following. Still really stings, though, and I think it's due to the fact that sometimes I can be sorta- "This is what happened, and if you disagree with me, you're an idiot and you're wrong!!!!!" When I make posts. And I don't wanna do that, and I don't want to come off as a gatekeeping fan that thinks lower of other people who might not know my stances very well. I wanna educate people and present my stuff as more of "Hey guys, this is what I think actually happened in this event. Feel free to take a look! I think this is really cool and I wonder what you guys think of this perspective that i have?"

And sometimes I can be pretty loud mouthed and stuff and I have talked shit towards certain characters. I remember one time I made a post where I said "what the fuck is wrong with Marie?" And said some stuff... I probably rubbed a lot of people the wrong way with that post... and other posts. I'm so sorry if I have made some of you upset in the past or have said some awful things about your favourite characters in the series...

As you guys probably know, I am passionate about Hypno Callie and I have very strong stances and opinions on her. And that leads to me get a bit... out of control. Callie is my biggest comfort character and to see certain people try and push this vile and disgusting event that happened to her... that she was kidnapped by Octavio and the Octarians when she was alone, and that he brainwashed her and forcibly put the shades on her, or he tricked her and he removed her memories too...

and I try to see the same event in a completely different lens... I see it as more of Octavio manipulating her in a more subtle way and due to Callie's poor mental state and desperation, she heard him out. Octavio used the shades as a way to control her more easily but he doesnt have full direct control over her because her influence helped motivate the Octarians. Octavio still wanted Callie to be... well... Callie. Plus, Callie was more than willing to help the Octarians as well, as she thinks they are cute. I do have evidence to back it up as well as articles and definitions explaining how hypnosis actually works and its limitations.

But this perspective gets compromised and put into question in my head when people keep pushing and pushing and PUSHING the other thing. Then it feels like I have to yell and get mad.... I've seen it as recently as when Blushing Tide came out and I looked at the YouTube comment section on one of the uploads and I just kept seeing people say "oh it's like Tidal Rush but without the brainwashing" or some shit like that idk. I dont remember it well but i know I saw the word floating around. (Don't look at YouTube comment sections. You won't get anything of value from them.)

Anyways, I also wanna cut back on swearing too because sometimes I border on being a hazbin hotel character and I DO NOT want myself to get to that level LMAO!

So what shall I be doing now that Splatoon 3 is officially wrapped up? Well... I wanna do more creative projects and fun stuff like that. I got good reception from my haikus for the Grand Fest and I think doing more stuff like that sounds really really fun!!! And it might actually give me a reason to finish stuff as well lol...

Like I have a God damn Splatoon 2 hero mode finale rewrite that's nearly done and it's been sitting on my Google docs since JULY!!!! I have also made plans to do a fan sequel to the Squid Sisters Stories that takes place in between Splatoon 2 and 3 because that time frame for the Squid Sisters has been barely touched upon. I'm also doing a personal project where it's basically what I want to see out of a Splatoon 4 and I've been really enjoying making that. I dont know if I would ever share it but... it's something to do for me at least.

I also wanna involve myself in the community more, I received an ask where someone said (I forgot who asked I'm so sorry) if I could do a thing where I receive Splatoon OCs and critique them. That sounds really fun!!!

Maybe i can do photo mode competitions or showcases!!! Where I choose a theme (Callie, water, Splatsville, etc) and people submit their photos and I critique them and showcase them to everyone!!! Does that sound like something people would be interested in?! I would love to know as virtual photography is a hobby I love to partake in and I wanna encourage more people to try it!

There is also other stuff i can do like going over the Idols outfits and rating them, but I don't have the motivation to do that at the moment and I know it's not gonna be as in-depth as the one I did for Callie.

Anyhow, that's basically what I have so far. I think im gonna slow down on posting and I'm gonna chill out. Or at least I'll try to chill out.

I've just been feeling incredibly guilty and kinda... sad that I've been acting in a certain way for a while. And I really wanna change that. I dont like making people upset and I don't wanna be the kind of Splatoon fan that puts down others who don't even know any better and don't know who I am....

But enough being sad, I wanna focus on the present and make sure that my future on here is bright!!!

[spiralsublime]

okay let me cook but

i think the skulker is such a part of the paula and liv drama. so we discovered that you can kind of see familiar motions on other avatars and feel who they could be. so i think that paula could have thought liv could have been the skulker if she hadnt arrived with her

paula just found out that liv, her work bestie who might feel almost like another kid for her, is stealing. paula reacted to this like liv was going down this dark road that she needed to save her from. johnny started stealing to feel something, and now woke up on the other end of it, stuck doing it now to protect someone else. im sure jack manhattan would find out about it in his movie and he would feel similiarly to paula.

he would blame himself, feel the need to save his son, miss his partner and feel crushed that he might not have known that he wished they were back together before he was murdered

but that brings us to the big kingskin in the room

liv is Not Johnny (obviously).

sure she is stealing, but she doesnt think of it as something she is stuck doing or that it is such a central part of who she is. no she is stealing to assert control of her life. she has all these people looking at her and making assumptions about her, putting her in this box and not asking her what She Wants.

but she wakes up as Kingskin. a man who seemingly is in total control of what happens and who he is. but there is supposed to be something about them that draws them together.

what if kingskin is put into that same exact box. everyone knows kingskin, who he is, what he does. and they look to him to be that “more than” person for them. the one who made it to the top, the one that “got out” of grunt work. what if he doesnt give a fuck about that.

i mean the empressario was supposed to be his gang rival, but he still walked into the club and bosses kingskin around.

the fact that johnny exists to allow paula the space to heal her fear for liv and for liv to focus on a fully different aspect of her own need for control and to Genuinely be seen, it means a lot to me.

[bigassbowlingballhead]

so. strap-on sex 101. welcome to class, everybody. i'll post the notes on the class website later and there's a reading response due on wednesday.

part I: introduction to anal

PREP PREP PREP PREP PREP PREP PREP et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseum. we're gonna start with the basics.

if you've never done anal before, there are a couple things to consider before starting. first, hair (calm down jon). there's gonna be hair unless he's decided he wants to remove it, and it's obviously okay either way, but it's not something you always think of when considering anal. as is going to be a theme throughout this lecture, you should talk to your partner about what you both want the hair situation to be.

in a similar concept, don't go to shit's house and then be surprised that it's home. let's all be grown ups about the realities of anal sex, shall we? there will be poop. obviously there doesnt have to be a TON of poop (unless that's your thing ig), but there will be some at some stage of the process. there are a few different ways of cleaning before you go for it, and once again, that's gonna be a conversation between you and your partner. for whatever it's worth, my bf used to douche before every time, but then he started taking care of his gut health and now he just takes care of business in the shower, and we've never had any real shit issues (shitssues?). but if you're penetrating deep and he hasn't done something like a douche or an enema, don't freak out if there's some crap after the fact. it's gonna be okay.

nota bene: idk if you wanna try eating ass, but these are both considerations for that as well. eating ass is pretty fun. that's a whole other lecture though, we'll get into that in unit 6.

part II: easing into things

okay. everyone is emotionally and physically prepared. time to peg, right?

no :)

based on your ask, your bf has never been penetrated before, so we are not starting with a dildo right off the bat. we're gonna start small, but don't worry, it'll still feel bigger than he expects. if you've got some small toys with flared bases, we can start with that. if not (or if you only have small toys without flared bases), fingers will work just fine. my suggestion is to have sexy ass adventures a couple of times before getting a strap-on at all (it was a while between introducing anal play with toys and hands and actually pegging my bf. take your time. no one's in a hurry).

so, you asked where to start? that's where to start. and once again, TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU BOTH WANT BEFOREHAND. there are a ton of ways to incorporate penetration into your sex life. blowjobs with some fingers (always a popular one), good-old-fashioned fingering, eating ass while jacking him off, vibrators, prostate massagers, the list is endless. do some research (not porn) together and figure out what is the most interesting to both of you, and then give it a shot. dont be upset if things dont go exactly as you planned or if something isnt as good as you thought it would be. first time i used a prostate massager on my guy, he had to safeword out – now it's literally his favorite thing in the world. keep communication open, keep your mind open, don't be afraid to try again, and don't feel guilty if you don't want to try something again.

part III: it's peggin' time

if you've gotten yourself and your boy totally comfortable with anal stuff, and you still want to peg that man into the mattress until he can't think, first of all, WOO!!! you are about to have so much fucking fun!!!

second of all, now you know the basics to starting out, so begin with that. warm things up slowly and carefully so you don't hurt him. keep in mind that the difference between sizes feels exponentially bigger the larger the thing in his ass is, so you gotta be extra careful the bigger you go. my suggestion would be to try inserting the dildo without attaching it to yourself first so that you are in total control of the angle and pace of penetration. once it starts to go in easily and he's used to the size, strap up, baby!

another option is to have him on top the first time so that he's in control. that is an UNDERRATED position imo. holy fuck. boy on top of you, riding your strap, moving his hips like he's being paid for it? motherfucker, that's some good shit right there.

i'll go into some more positions later, but those are some good ones to get started with. as always, keep checking in, keep asking questions, keep doing literally whatever feels good. that's what this is about.

part IV: choosing a dick

now we get into the real recs. there are a few things to keep in mind when picking out a strap-on. do some more research, keep your mind open to different ideas, and say it with me class – communicate with your partner! here are some tips for shopping:

get something made with body-safe silicone

dual-density is the most realistic feeling, but more flexible ones will be easier to take and make more positions simpler

they make dildos specifically designed to stimulate the prostate

they make dildos specifically designed to stimulate your clit while pegging

not all dildos are strap-on compatible, so look for one that specifies it is

there is no law that says you can only get one dick. i have four.

picking the strap part of the strap-on is more personal preference, but here are some tips for that too:

buckles don't slide like adjustable straps do (and trust me, if they can slide, they will slide)

they make specialized boxers that fit a dildo, but ive never personally tried that

i really like that mine has straps around the thighs as well, because it feels more secure and im not pulling it up as much

the positioning of the ring that the dildo has to go through is going to affect how you're able to move while pegging. something lower might help with missionary, where something higher might be easier for doggy or riding.

you should feel sexy when you wear it. you should feel like the hottest motherfucker alive, and if you dont, it's okay to switch to a strap-on that does.

TRUST THE LESBIANS. they know. they know everything.

part V: the act itself

if you're not used to being the penetrating partner, it's going to be an adjustment, because pegging is a serious core workout. pretty much any position is also a workout move, so dont be surprised if you need a break or change in positions relatively frequently.

also, try to focus more on the pleasure of what's happening than getting to an orgasm. even with a vibrator underneath, i've only ever finished while pegging ONCE out of however many times (i mostly dont even try, because it makes it easier to focus on him if i dont care about finishing)

finally, some positions to try. again, riding is going to be the easiest on you, missionary is fun but tougher than you'd think, pronebone is good if you have a pillow princess on your hands. i dont actually know the name of this one, but it's really good: get your guy on his knees on the edge of the bed and a pillow between his legs so that he can grind against it while you fuck him. you can stand with both legs on the floor or a leg up on the bed for leverage, but either is pretty comfortable in my experience.

thanks for coming to class today, everyone. my office hours are in the syllabus. let me know if you have any questions about the reading, and dont forget to turn in your outlines for the midterm.

holy shit (lol) gia. thank you for this super well thought out lesson in anal with your boyfriend.

penetration anon, here you go. knock yourself out, and blow your boyfriend's mind.

[autism-connoisseur]

what's your take on karkat now that you know his big secret?

genuinely amazing how his whole personality is a defense mechanism.... this guy cares he cares so much but his whole life hes had to push people away lest they Find Out.... living in constant alert ever since he had consciousness of how Different he was and how dangerous that was for him, knowing that everyone around him would cull him on the spot if they found out about It.... if im not mistaken trolls' tears are the color of their blood so he also had to repress himself to Not Cry. and for a person as emotional as karkat thats such a challenge!! not even out of sadness, or grief, but people also cry out of happiness, nostalgia, frustration, anger... those two especially i can see happening to karkat. and hed hate it.

he can be so Mean sometimes, perpetually angry... sure, it might be part of his personality, he is definitely easily irritated and prone to heat-of-the-moment decisions (like when he ran sollux's code and promptly exploded his computer and cast a curse on himself & his friends) but like i said, he's lived his entire life having to be Alert, not being able to let his guard down, because he would die if he did!! and at the same time he needs to prove himself, prove that despite being Wrong and Different he can do things!! he can be useful!!! maybe if he makes himself useful enough someone will even see him as a person and not just a mutant... thats why he is so dead set on being the leader. much like dave he has lived his whole life Needing To Be In Control Of Things (rose too, but shes more like she needs to Understand People, if she can read people correctly then she can avoid them flipping on her (no she cant that is not how it works babe)), but whereas dave is content with letting june be the leader (even if he wants to surpass her, hes very much doing his own thing anyways) karkat NEEDS to be the leader because that way he will prove that hes capable (to his friends in particular but to society as a whole, they are basically a mini representation of society anyways with each of them representing each caste).

but also he blames himself, he blames himself so much whenever anything goes slightly wrong and that feeling just gets amplified since he ran sollux's virus. it's a vicious circle for him since he needs to be in control and call the shots to feel like hes useful (defense mechanism, you wouldn't get rid of an useful pest even if he was a pest now would you?), but whenever something goes wrong under his command he freaks out (maybe relating it to his blood color? like he is Bad so this happened. also we know he takes sollux's virus's curse very seriously), he takes it as proof that He Personally Is Wrong and obviously everyone knows this, but since he doesnt want to be seen as that and he wants society to accept him without ever realizing there was a reason they shouldnt (see: also why he wanted to join the military or some part of it at the very least) he doubles on his efforts on Controlling everything.

and when he realizes they created our universe, it finally gives him a chance to be above someone. to be the powerful and not the powerless, the respected and not the shunned. its why he treats the beta kids as stupid, inferior beings, and why he constantly points out that he is their god even though he isnt (well he technically is but you get it). it mimicks the way some highbloods treat lowbloods, but where the highbloods are like that because society told them it's their natural right that they were born with, karkat does it to forget what that same society told him: that he was somehow intrinsically worse than anyone else. so bad, in fact, that he'd be better of dead. actually, he'd be so better off dead that they want him dead, that they will kill him as soon as they find him. so of course he takes the chance to not feel like that! of course he wants to feel superior! he needs to be the one above for once, he needs that control over someone instead of feeling like he needs to watch out for everything and anything. he sees a chance to not be the lowest link in the chain, and he takes it. sure, he may be a mutant, but theyre human... and not just any humans. the very same humans that doomed their session, the session karkat threw himself into because not only did it grant him escape from a planet that hated his existence (as much as he also idealized, trying to fit in, trying to not be seen as Abnormal even though all the beta trolls are Abnormal & don't fit in), it also gave him the chance to, like i said, prove himself.

he trusts his friends, he does, and he said he'd tell them his blood color eventually. but he needed to be ready and that's why both jack noir & terezi, or at least their reactions, are so important to him. neither of them shuns him, they don't attack him, they don't make fun of him of call him aberrant or do anything that most trolls would. fair, jack noir isn't a troll, and he doesn't even understand why karkat is freaking out. but when he shows him his own blood, the same color, karkat is suddenly not alone. even if red blood doesn't mean anything special to jack, to karkat it means the world to see that he is not some abomination, that the universe didn't signal him out to be different than the rest forever and always. and terezi, terezi is what really does it for him. shes somewhat high in the hemospectrum, she is someone that karkat likes (and apparently kissed! good for him because God knows the kid didn't let anyone in out of fear of being found out), she is a troll. and she doesn't mind. she even calls him adorable in the same log! the beta trolls are outcasts of the alternian society; and they are karkat's friends. that's why he was willing to tell them eventually: it was his secret to keep and his secret to share. and even if terezi found out when he wasn't ready yet, her reaction was absolutely positive. again, these kids are the furthest away from troll society as they can be, almost its opposite, which is why karkat thought about telling them, is willing to tell them. he knows hes safe with them.

ive seen people point out how his handle (carcinoGeneticist) references his sign (carcinogenesis is the process by which an organism gains cancer) and both these things represent how hes considered an anomaly & something to be rid of, something sick; i also think it's. ironic that he's the knight of blood, but i don't know enough about classpects yet to analyze that. it must have felt like a cruel joke to him, though, being told that his literal title was someone who fights for the same thing he's ostracized for. it would certainly piss me off that's for sure.

[pookieismissing09]

ok guys i never post on here but heres my take on the sturniolo space camp situation if anyone gives a fuck

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO READ EVERYTHING NO ONE WILL PROB SEE THIS ANYWAY 💀 ill prob delete this icl its just a lil rant 🥰🥰

and if u disagree with me idc im just expressing my opinions 😭 read the whole thing so i can justify myself before u start attacking me

before i say anything im not just sticking up for nick just because im a fan of the triplets. like some people are only sticking up for him because they hate to admit that he would ever lie or do anything wrong- and they’re defending him with no reasoning other than “he would never 🥺” like stfu. what im saying is that i don’t know for sure whether the ‘bee better’ guy is telling the truth, for all i know he might be chatting utter shit. but if he is telling the truth, then im saying that i understand nick lied but its not necessarily a negative thing.

so like first of all i dont see the issue with nick not being the founder of the brand. like yes i understand its ‘morally wrong’ to lie and its misinformation but i think we will live… it doesnt make any difference to the products or the people who buy them. like ik people say that they only bought it to support nick and they wouldn’t have bought it if they knew it was just some random brand, but its not just some ‘random brand’- they are still supporting nick cos he gets payed for advocating it. by purchasing the products, theyre keeping the brand afloat which means nick will get payed for being the ‘face of the brand’ and doing a good job at advertising. or in simple terms, even if nick isnt the founder of the entire brand he is still a huge part of the company and is definetly getting a fat bag from all of this. like yall are acting like you wouldnt lie if a company said they would pay you to do so- bffr we would all do what nick did.

and the other main thing is everyone is complaining about the price all of a sudden. like if you are all protesting about how nick has nothing to do with the origin of the brand then surely he also wouldn’t be able to control the price? so according to everyone saying the lip balms are not his idea, don’t be mad at nick for the ridiculous pricing if he apparently ‘had nothing to do with it in the first place‘. and aside from that, the pricing literally had nothing to do with the fact that he lied about being the founder- it would probably cost the same either way so why are people only getting worked up about the pricing now that he is being ‘exposed’? like honestly people are just looking for excuses to say he’s a bad person like what 😭

and ik this doesnt have anything to do with spacecamp, but in general these days everyone is saying how the triplets don’t put any effort into their content anymore and only do it for the money. i think you are forgetting that youtube is their full time paying job. doing youtube as a hobby and doing it as a career are completely different- and most people find that when they pursue their hobbies as a career choice they start to enjoy it less since they feel under pressure to perform a certain way (and don’t come at me for saying that because im “babying” the triplets, piss off).

put it this way, people that have high paying jobs that sit in an office all day don’t do that type of work for their enjoyment- they only work in that environment because they want to receive a larger income instead of having an enjoyable job with a poor wage. this is exactly the same as the triplets’ situation, i doubt very much that they actually do youtube for their personal enjoyment. at the end of the day they have to pay the bills and youtube is their only job- its not always going to be fun like it used to be (both for them and for us watching).

and for all of you thinking ‘well they shouldnt be youtubers if they cant entertain people’ you have to understand that getting a different job takes time. like the whole process of finding a career, interviewing etc. and as well as that, they are probably terrified to even consider looking for another career because of their batshit crazy fans (including me 💀). like can we just cut them some slack and let them get on with their job 😭. and at the end of the day they cant just stop being youtubers, they will never be able to live their lives as regular people now that they have created their platform- i doubt they will ever do anything else bc of the fear of being recognised in public whilst they are doing a more “normal” job.

and for the love of god this is NOT me saying that the triplets are gonna quit youtube. like i said, its their full time job. im just giving my opinion on people saying they are only doing it for the money- and quite honestly they are, but is that really such a bad thing? like im sorry but they aren’t just posting for our entertainment, they need money one way or another.

also is anyone else excited for the stream later like i hope nick will say something about all this and not just stay quiet until it all blows over

i think thats all i was gonna say i cant remember but if theres more then i will say 😘😘😘 sorry i waffle alot

[dragon-queen21]

im so happy you enjoy my ramblings! it means a lot to me, thank you🤍

Going off your recent mini fic, I DEFINITELY agree with the idea of zoro regressing, had that headcanon FOREVER but yeah sorry im a sucker for “big strong man being taken care of” he deserves it man. i feel like he’d be a older regressor normally (round 8) but if he needs to can slip really far (2-3, sometimes younger) like the idea of like regressed zoro just working himself up over something and stomping his feet and everyones like so surprised and hes so embarrassed about it idk i keep thinkin about it

i feel like the first time zoro FULLY regresses, he wakes up little. specifically after the crew leaves a island where he had to fight a huge battle and he doesnt realize he feels different until he goes to see his crew for breakfast, so now he one, has no idea whats going on and why he feels like this, and two, the poor baby is silently working himself up over it :(

i see zoro being strangly picky? sanji brings out breakfast for the crew and zoros just looking at it like its the grossest thing in the world. and sanji notices and its the strangest thing because sanji has MADE this dish for him before. sanji KNOWS zoro likes this ??? and now that sanji pointed it out everyones put their attention the zoro waitin for him to say something,

in my imagination, choppers the one to process that fact zoros regressing

and the kid is all overwhelmed with all the attention

in my head the end of this situation either ends up with zoro crying :( or him getting mad at everyone for thinkin theres somethin up (there is)

i dont see zoro as aomeone to get genuinely mad at the crew often but throw in overwhelmed kid factor and what do you get?

in another situation after both he and the crew accepts zoros a little, they make a rule that he cant use his swords little and that pisses him off because he got to use his swords when he was kid? why not when hes regressed and the crew has to explain that its because what if he slips younger all off a sudden? they cant control that, its too dangerous.

okay thats it for now, im sorry it was SO hard to put my thoughts on little! zoro into words, and ill be honest im not to happy about how i worded this, so i hope you understand what im trying to say and convey

but please if you have any little! zoro hcs id be happy to hear! no pressue at all though!

📷

Mkay we are going to pretend this didn’t take me as long as it did to answer. I wanted to give you a proper well thought out response and my brain was fighting me for days 😭

Anyways!

~I have had so many thoughts about regressor Zoro (when my brain will cooperate). I swear I say this all the time but I WILL post that fic in full. Eventually. One day. >///< ahh too many projects.

~I have such a soft spot for a character who is always protecting those around them getting taken care of in return.

~Zoro would throw so many small temper tantrums over the silliest things.

~In love with the idea of Zoro being ever so slightly clueless about his own regression. Add injury and blood loss, post adrenaline haze, etc. and just so many reasons for him to make excuses that everything is fine, he’s just feeling a bit off that’s all… until it happens again and again and suddenly he starts to realize, hmm maybe something is up… maybe he needs to go to Chopper about this.

~Ooh okay, I’ve had that headcanon for awhile with Zoro being fussy when it comes to food. I think that Sanji would eventually get so fed up with trying to feed the little, because he liked eating this meal yesterday so why is he throwing a fit today???, that eventually Robin takes over for him just because she has more patience for the regressor. (Also just mama Robin my beloved.)

~Zoro acting funny, my first thought was, oh gosh Luffy would be just so- Luffy.

“There’s not’ing wrong alright?!”

“Yes there is. Zoro is acting funny.”

“‘m not!”

“Are too!”

~Telling Zoro he’s not allowed to use his swords also because no one knows how to properly watch over him. Unlike him as an actual kid there is no one to properly ‘train him’ does that make sense?

~Recently been on the kick of caregiver Luffy. Just loving the idea of him being oddly good with kids and highly responsible in his own way. Overly protective once he knows one of nakama is little. So just thinking about him watching over Zoro and realizing his first mate is small before Zoro realizes it himself.

[sakitenmaenjoyer]

4 the fic ask thing if u want to share info on any or all of them I would clap and cheer

fuck yeah

emunene little mermaid au: ive talked about this like once, but it's basically what it sounds like. emu is a princess; nene is a mermaid

plot stuff, emu goes on a ship, emu is saved by nene when her ship goes down, and she's very !!!! when she realizes that nene is the one with the singing voice she'd been hearing right after her grandpa died. unfortunately she is half delirious when she's saved and doesn't remember how nene looks. emu vows to look for the beautiful lady with the beautiful voice....

ruinene and emukasa would be the platonic pairings in the fic. i considered having tsukasa be emu's fiance? if only to parallel the original story. nene won't stab tsukasa. probably. but she does find him deeply annoying at first. he and emu might be close enough to consider a marriage of convenience...still havent figured that part out yet. nene gets less annoyed by tsukasa when she sees why he's emu's friend

rui is the sea witch, and he helps nene become temporarily human.

i dont have any of it fleshed out but i want to do something with the idea so bad. emu dragging nene to see the sights of the human world and to socialize.......nene being emu's company for longer than either knew. nene realizing the value of her voice when it's gone....she thought being silent wouldn't be any different from normal, but emu made her want to talk, and to sing, to yell and laugh. she wants to have an our happy ending moment with emu but she can't

rui angst fic/TtSaB/Working Title: "When faced with the unthinkable, Rui struggles to navigate old feelings and new fears. Fortunately, he has his friends by his side... it's just a matter of letting them in."

this is a fic ive been chipping at had since curtain call came to en LMAO. i asked 'hey can i have curtain call rui please please please ill write and post that fic idea i have' and rui came home in a single pull. so im legally bound to write and post it eventually. here's some of the scenes ive done

actual dogshit writing lmao. but yeah this fic is more serious than any of my other prsk ideas. i wanted rui to have at least one important scene with each wxs member, because their friendship is at the core of this. also wanted to include the vocaloids bc it's not project sekai without them....even if the idea of talking about your personal problems to hatsune miku is. well.

the plot and title is under wraps for the time being, but here's my notes on how i want to characterize rui

the fic should be 8 chapters. It's teetering between a Teen Rating and a Mature Rating, but I should probably write the rest before deciding anything...

other:

whenever im bored, i format unwritten fic ideas into stories on ao3. ive written absolutely almost nothing for either of these, but it's nice to imagine i have lmao

But I'm Still Here: Saki goes invisible, and everyone around her proceeds to freak out as they search for the 'missing' girl. includes tsukasa ping ponging between 'we'll find her, we have to' and 'it's so fucking over', leo/need trkes and failing not to fall into depression, and saki feeling guilty that Everyone's lives are put on hold for her. the original idea was set before they debut, but maybe it should be after (so toya would have surpassed rad weekend already lmao).

everyone who adores saki makes themselves sick with worry. especially since it lasts about a week. tsukasa has not been that anxious in his fucking life. he's coping...fine. he's doesn't throw himself down while wailing at least. and he doesnt vomit from stress (preventing both takes a lot of self control). leo/need try to be strong for each other, but they are all sad shivering dogs. shiho wants to punch to be useful but knows she can't do anything. ichika tries to stay hopeful, like saki would want. honami tries to be their calm leader...but theyre like, 16/17, so theyre all just anxious.

Phthonus: Rui is envious and sad the fic, rip bozo. it'd be an introspective fic. i'd want rui to subconsciously compare and contrast himself and bakuno, and come to the realization that tsukasa (romantically) likes the parts of bakuno that rui doesn't have (bakuno's timidness, his lack of confidence, his acting, his ability to not annoy tsukasa lmao). but he also has traits that rui does have (his passion for theatre, obsession with writing stories, talent above his age range, the ability to bounce ideas off of tsukasa)

tsukasa still loves rui, but he never saw him in a romantic light. if he ever did, then it's too late....tsukasa set his eyes on bakuno and went "i can fix him". and unfortunately, tsukasa isn't polyamorous. rui deals with the heartache every time he sees tsukasa, even though it hurts him. he loves him too much to ever look away

uhh other stuff without titles-

bakuno/tsukasa fic, maybe a kotaro/akito fic. they would be in a series about the npcs waxing poetic about the ocs. throw in some pairings like miyake & rui, otori siblings & emu, yukki and mizuki, nagi and an....but the first fic would be bakukasa because i like them a lot lmao

Another rui is jealous fic, but it ends in rks- bakuno and tsukasa sign up to be gay lovers in a short film and rui's clenches his teeth and tries not to mope over it. (he is the one that asked them to do it) he does not know why and thinks there's something wrong with the film/acting rather than himself. he's stupid. meanwhile tsukasa is slowly realizing he likes men bc of gay research he did... and while he thinks bakuno is cute, he's immediately hit in the face that he likes rui a Lot.

saki in mogami land fic- saki gets isekaid in a hell world where everyone hates her/doesn't know her. i cant decide yet. maybe both. tsukasa and her parents say mean shit to her, ichika avoids her, her favorite idol doesn't even know who she is. the ending is her going back to her normal world, where she proceeds to be crushed by tsukasa and her parents (she went missing for a week. tsukasa cries the hardest at her reappearance... though her parents aren't too far behind) this is another "i want to show saki how loved she is by taking it away from her" fic

ruikasa are fucking dumb fic - tsukasa confesses to rui, they get together, and then things go down hill because neither know how to act in a new relationship. tsukasa wants to be a good boyfriend, so he treats rui differently (in a way that bothers rui). he's probably sweet and nice and doting, which rui like, but it feels more like a role tsukasa wants to perfect. rui wants tsukasa to be himself. at the same time, rui also wants to be a good boyfriend, but becomes aware that he has no idea how to do that...so instead he subconsciously tests their relationship, wondering just how far he could push tsukasa to get him to go back to "normal". the conclusion is that theyre stupid and just needed to adjust and realize nothing changed

future wxs meets present wxs - there r so many ideas i have for this it'd fucking ridiculous. the most prominent one is future rks meeting present wxs. another one is 3rd anni tsukasa meeting pre wonder magical showtime tsukasa

wxs takes care of child wxs - due to sekai bs, there are teenage wxs and child wxs. they all take turns and interact with the kids...tsukasa and baby rui & nene and baby rui would be cute i think. my ideas are

1) baby rui getting sad that tsukasa said his ideas are too dangerous (he's literally five and wants to jump from a high place). tsukasa feels guilty about his sad little face and offers to do it for rui. cue rui's excitement that an adult wants to try his idea

2) baby rui looks at grown nene like a proud parent and says 'i'm so proud of you nene' and nene goes 'you're literally five. also youve told me that before.' she still says thank you though, bc it's cute and she's fond

child/middle school wxs meets emu's grandpa - rakunosuke shows up during difficult times in tsukasa/rui/nene's lives and helps them smile. none of them remember him, but during that moment, he's a bright light. maybe some emu/rakunosuke parallels?

kamiyama group during mizuki5 - i made a post abt this already, but a silly fun fic to what fun everyone had at the festival. nobody knows mizuki is suffering. very bittersweet

saki helps tsukasa get ready for a date with rui - saki gives tsukasa questionable dating advice and tsukasa ends up botching date with rui (rui doesnt care). includes tsukasa trying to be a gentleman, saki getting love advice from manga and magazines, and rui having a good time watching tsukasa fumble be a gentleman

arcland rui - canon rui wakes up in universe where he joined arcland and asahi. it shows an alternative path rui could have taken, and how that path would have been every bit as valid as keeping wxs together

...unfortunately, rui isn't happy with this because wxs disbanded and he doesn't talk to them as often. he doesn't even go to school with them anymore. (also he has a situationship thing with asahi And tsukasa but he doesn't notice either of them lmao)

i probably have others but these are the ones that come to mind first...hope this is all okay!

[corvidares]

okay, so i just finished re-reading Any Way the Wind Blows and this feels so blatant as to be smacking me in the face: simon is disabled.

now, the reason why that makes itself even clearer in this book than in wayward son (where he, of course, also has the wings + tail) is because simon is once again in the world of mages - despite doing his best to leave it behind. compared to wayward son, where hes basically and literally in the wild west. where theres magical beings everywhere, where simon practically fits in because he is one.

but ill get back to that.

ive seen a lot of really interesting points about what simon's wings represent and mean, and i'm not disagreeing with those. but in a very literal sense, they are a disability.

think about it like this: the world of mages (and Normals) is not built for humanoids who have giant webbed wings and a tail. simon constantly struggles with controlling these limbs, and their size makes it ten times harder. spaces are too small, furniture and objects are broken when he spreads them, and many a shirt or jacket are ruined.

he struggles to find a good way to deal with this - spell them away? wear them out by cutting holes in things? fold them extremely painfully into his shirt? even though this last one is treated like a solution for a little while, its far from ideal. who is simon doing this for? himself, or everyone around him? yes, of course Normals cant see them. and yeah, hes expressed discomfort about baz and penny spelling them hidden. but thats not the point. even with this botch job of a way to "wear" his wings, which succeeds at hiding them from Normals, simon still states a couple times that he knows people stare at him and his seeming hunchback. i mean, thats blatant.

(he eventually, with shepard's help, realizes a good way to work around this - zippers or buckles on shirtbacks - which very much feels like an aha! disability aid moment)

im not saying disability is based in how people look at you, or it only being a societal thing. (as in, when he wasnt in the world of mages, he wasnt suddenly 'not disabled at all') disability is a huge spectrum. but those things absolutely can be a part of the disabled experience.

but all of that doesnt even get to my main point: simon has no magic anymore. and in the world of mages, thats a huge deal. magic is like living and breathing, especially for baz and penny. its not something they question or have to worry about not being able to call upon. hell, even before simon lost his magic he was disabled, just to a different extent.

before awtwb, we dont hear much about mages whose magic is weak. but they come to the forefront now - which just solidifies that solid magical ability = able bodiedness.

smith is promising a miracle cure. a cure. think of it like bullshit orgs such as aut!sm spe@ks, wanting to "cure" autism - he wants to cure people. (and hes just as full of shit) why? because weak magic is seen as a disease, a problem, even subhuman.

take daphne, baz's stepmom. her quality of life is fine, great. her weaker magic doesnt seem to put her at a disadvantage. she manages her disability well. but in comparison to the norm, to what is expected of the average mage, shes got nothing. less than nothing. she feels shame over what she cant do.

smith's case becomes even more blatant when we see, at the end of awtwb, that he wants to essentially cull weak magicians. that they're holding back society. that theyre better off as powerless as Normals - who are blatantly seen as subhuman - than as weak mages. much like how ableist rhetoric puts forward that disability is a fate worse than death.

which brings us back to simon. he insists hes a Normal, now or always has been. baz insists hes the most powerful magician to exist. both of them are wrong.

and right. and right and wrong.

simon is some third thing - not a mage, not a Normal. akin to how disability is its own minority aside from race or ethnicity he has a foot in each world, and he always has. but now he cant achieve blending into either.

this is why the increasing presence and humanization of other magical beings beside mages is so important (thank you shephard!) how mages tend to seem magical beings is very ableist. theyre subhuman, theyre not to be trusted, theyre freaks, theyre dirty, etc. except oops, how can you keep thinking that penny, when this very nice one works at a cafe and helped you translate shephard's engagement terms?

even baz and the events of wayward son play into this - yeah, some vampires are horrible people. but plenty, like baz, are just people. with a range of experiences and morals and ways of living life. (take nicodemus) (i could make a point about how simon's stalwart acceptance of baz's vampirism helps baz comes to terms with it and how this is also super disability coded, but thats another essay)

in the beginning of awtwb, he decides to go to the extreme opposite of his chosen one powered life - to live as a Normal, and the second step (after cutting himself off from baz and penny) is getting his wings removed.

except he cant do it. and even having his wings touched is horribly uncomfortable. now, this partly has to do with how much theyre sensual parts of his body - same as his tail. but its also, separately, very intimate. theyre treated very clinically, like a fascinating specimen to pore over. im not trying to give niamh shit here, just saying what i saw.

but theyre part of him. people with disabilities often deal with being stared at and poked and prodded by the medical field (if theyre not ignored or waved off. maybe both.). even every day folks feel the right to touch disabled folks, or their mobility aids.

for a lot of people, mobility aids are a part of them - its like a stranger touching your face and thinking theyre doing you a favor. when instead theyre being weird as fuck.

simon's status as previous chosen one even plays into this sort of thing - people see him more as a figurehead, for what he can and cant do (including his wings!) than a person. hes a tragedy, hes a hero. hes inspirational, hes to be pitied. sound familiar?

the end of awtwb doesnt spell out whether simon ends up deciding to keep his wings (frustratingly). but they spell out that he would absolutely would, in my opinion.

simon increasingly treats them as a natural extension of his body. think of the scene where he flies about the watford goats. how he expresses his feelings with his wings and tail. and of course, how he learns to let baz loves each and every part of him: including his dragon limbs.

baz loves him, and loves them, not in a fetishistic way, but because its simon, and he loves everything simon is. not just what he represents or can or cant do.

[transgenderdoctorwhomst-old]

In Mr clever absorbing 11s mannerisms and emotions, which I just love the irony of that, I do wonder if it makes Clever & the doctor blended in a way where you can sorta tell who's who but the lines pretty blurred at this point. I wonder if it's blurred enough that a regeneration wouldn't even fully fix it.

I wonder if his mannerisms would be a little off, maybe to show to a point that at first Mr clever isn't used to a more humanoid body vs hydraulic or whatever the cybermen use, but as time goes on he learns to blend and gets used to movements and how to 'act' human.

I have a lot of thoughts but like not very in depth so I'ma be jumping around a bit.

But I am enjoying imagining just what would be the 'who is that' moment for different companions rn and how weird it would be for previous companions to see how the doctor is acting now. The yeah he acts about 80% like the doctor but there's a lot of little tipping points like you said that sort of point to something else.

Do you think we'd see a sort of return of timelord victorious with the planner? Maybe thinking he can bring the cyber empire into power using the tardis, either by changing history directly or a domino effect.

Idk, but I'd love to hear your thoughts <3

if the cyberplanner gets in the tardis, he is ABSOLUTELY pulling a time lord victorious. even if the cyberman amusement park planet is blown up, he'd definitely get to work on setting up a new army and figuring out what events he could change without accidentally deleting himself from existence. and he'd have to be keeping an eye on not changing his own timeline or the doctor's timeline, which is probably the only thing stopping him from going back and immediately changing every single loss the cybermen have ever faced. cant very well bring back the cyberiad empire if you blow up yourself and half a galaxy because of a paradox!

everyone will be very lucky the cyberplanner has the major flaw for a cyberman, of having an ego and feelings and potential for doubt. and also a flesh body that needs rest. and is constantly fighting with the doctor for control. and a tardis that doesn't always like to cooperate. because it would be an absolute nightmare for everyone else otherwise. any kind of evil doctor is an absolute force to be reckoned with.

for body movements, he seems to mirror 11, using his preexisting muscle memory, but i think over time he would make efforts to try and rewire it into more, you know, still and calm. less of 11's spinning around and waving his hands around and large gesturing. which is very odd to see on 11, because he's very active and needs to be constantly stimming. just some real uncanny valley shit.

we see they act similar enough that clara does feel the need to ask and can't tell just by looking, so long as the cyberplanner doesnt majorly fuck up an assumption about 11's behaviour. i think he would try to learn how to mimic the doctor, because it's useful if he can run around calling in any favors owed to the doctor. he just cant resist the urge to be a mean little shit to people, much more than the doctor usually is. (and 11 can be a mean little shit).

he does have the tell that he talks in a lower, more gravelly voice than the doctor, though. like he's trying to replicate the modulated cyberman voices. which is fun and definitely not something the cyberplanner is doing on purpose, i think it just sounds more correct to him.

i have no idea how a regeneration would affect, but considering 11 doesn't actually have any regenerations left until gallifrey gives him a new cycle, who knows when 11 might get the chance to try. the cybermen need physical parts installed though, so there's probably still some physical component wired inside his brain that could be burned out. the problem is not killing the doctor in the process.

[gorebek]

Bro you should def infodump e v e r y t h i n g about your Torbek swap au

only if you wanna of course 👉👈

Its hard to do literally everything because im stupid and cant put thoughts to paper but i can talk about a lot of stuff i have in my head

big disorganized yap session below cut

I plan on drawing a ref EVENTUALLY but some of the core stuff i want to add is gorebek being younger and shorter because he got the operation done a couple years before torbek

and he gets it done willingly so its less of a botch job like toebek the pipes that go through his body are more neat i guess is the best word they look cooler and he has actual clothes that are also adapted for his new additions

im thinking hunter fit like torbek but also idk... I still want to incorporate the suit but idk how i hate designing clothes

For how they met they never had any pre operation interaction like no working at the carnival but he was released post operation like hey go hunt people trying to fuck with us and given the carnivals whereabouts or something idk and when he gets to the inn and threatens them and powers up torbek fronts and just immediately starts crying and hides gricko is the first to reach out and realize hey this dude is pretty chill and then they take care of torbek until gorebek fronts again

Gorebek in this is probably like early ouaw torbek whos very new to things and the world torbek is that but way worse they both only know operations and experiments and whatever they were told without really experiencing the outside world while gorebek socialized torbek literally never has in his existence (himself, probably has cofronted and seen gorebek talk but its different)

idk how exactly this would go but i feel like he would follow them at first after the fight being like yess yes evil secret intel and slowly get accepted into the found family realizing they actually care for him and dont treat him like a creature to test on unlike insert evil people (release the duke backstory after hiatus so i can make this more accurate pls ouaw)

i think this process would be WAY way longer for gorebek then it is for torbek torbek probably fronts more often and connects with everyone while gorebek rarely lets himself get the chance to bond with anyone

in this i dont think gorbek is like explicitly evil i think he is acting on his beliefs and can be more connected to the carnival then canon gore

but i think that connection will be very co dependent after being held for so long and being told he was a tool he would probably crave that feeling of being needed again even if its warped and fucked up and probably act out but also crave love and the acceptance like torbek gets so gorebeks relationships would all be extremely hot and cold and constantly changing while torbek is just chilling (mostly)

Gorebek is also very self destructive i can see a shit ton of stuff they do being fucked up because gorbeks ego takes over or he just doesnt care what happens to him or those around him and when torbek is fronting for quests hes just clumsy and still very unaware and fucks it up like that

In canon ouaw torbek gets smarter and more leader-y even if the group doesnt wanna go with what he says and i think gorebek would try to be like this but fail he would definitely get smarter and learn a lot but leader-y not so much i dont think he would plan anything and fail because of it

Talking about reverse gorebek makes me want to talk about canon gorebek parallels and how i think canon gorebek plans everything meticulously and is an extremely good leader because hes given the skills to because he doesn't front he controls the witchlight while reverse was thrown to the wolves without developing skills because he cant harvest it like torbek can but torbek was given up on like canon torbek and just kinda tossed out as well idk idk

I did not reread any of this sorry if theres a bunch of mistakes im just ranting

[just-a-floofy-catt]

THE LAST DRABBLE FOR NOW

Thank

Fucking

God

XD

This ones another barely coherent bullet point one lol

Its based completely around the song "Rises the moon" and its lyrics :)

• The dca bois in their recovery after the virus incident in sb :(

• Like, imagine a fic where you have to help them get better/back to normal after all that trauma

• Sun is still super paranoid and has a breakdown or panic attack at even the insinuation of the lights going out

• You have to slowly get him used to it and try to chill him out

• He feels really bad for not trusting Moon, since he missed him so much after all. But he just cant help it, and ends up overworking himself and trying to stay in control as long as possible and give as little chances as he can for Moon to come out.

• So then he has warring fear and guilt eating away at him

• On the other side of this, Moon is doing a hell of alot of reflecting

• He feels absolutely awful about what has happened, despite how much others try to tell him it isnt his fault and that hes also a victim in the situation

• He becomes incredibly distant and lost in his own wallowing, avoiding literally everyone and isolating himself out of fear of hurting someone

• Just imagine a super soft scene where after a month of trying to get Moon to just properly talk to them, YN ends up catching him sat alone in the dark with only the faint glow in the dark elements in the daycare illuminating him on the balcony. Hes literally just sat there, just staring sadly at the fake stars along the ceiling.

• YN approaches him carefully and he doesnt even notice

• They sit on the edge of the ballpit, looking up at him in silence

• He finally notices them and startles

• Random note - (Metaphor in the song of how every day with sun feels different, due to both his erratic behaviour and him actually slowly improving over time, but every night is always the same with moon refusing to open up to you)

• He just waits and stares at them suspiciously

• (This isnt their usual shift. They werent supposed to be in today and theyre a later than usual too.)

• (They asked if they could go in, because they felt like they just couldnt give up on Moon and made a spur of the moment impulsive decision before going to bed that they would go and see if catching him later would help at all or make a difference. They were desperate for just anything at all to work)

• They didnt really plan this, so not only do they not know what to do or say, but their lack of sleep means theyre tired af

• After a few moments of just silent staring, they start to droop a bit, and yawn, laying their head on their knees, just waiting for any reaction at all from him.

• Theres just complete stillness between the two, and YNs body seems to give into Moon’s stubbornness, dozing slightly and causing them to fall asleep

• Moon softens slightly, programming kicking in at seeing them so tired

• He hesitates, waiting a little longer, then goes down to them

• He cautiously approaches them, then reaches down to pet their head

• They shift slightly and he smiles

• His fear of accidentally hurting someone, or suddenly becoming a monster still holds him in its grip, making him rather scared when gently lifting them into his arms

• He goes back up to the balcony, heading for his room

• He jumps slightly as they suddenly grasp onto him

• "I promise things can get better, Moon... it will soon"   "i trust you."

• Moon is shocked and emotional from their sleepily-murmured words, suddenly having the realization that- yes. He does want that to happen. He does miss being with the childern. He misses being with Sunny. He misses being happy.

• He settles down into a pile of pillows and holds YN close, protective, as they sleep.

• Moon then agrees to working with YN and they slowly start his road to recovery

• Just YN helping a very nervous Moon to get his confidence back :)

• Meanwhile though, as this progresses, whilst Sun has pretty much eradicated his issue, he gains a new one. Dealing with the daycare kids all without Moon again is really taking its toll on him again, and not only does he desperately need the help, but he also really misses Moon

• Having him so close but just out of reach was destroying him over time. He knew he needed to be patient. Every time he asked you when he could properly talk to his Moonie again, thats what you always said. That moon needed more time to get better. And he understood that, but that didnt make it any less hard

• Eventually, theyre reunited

• Just

• Omg

• Imagine how FUCKING ADORABLE THAT SCENE WOULD BE

• I WOULD CRY

• Reading or writing it, i would S O B

• They finally have eachother back to take refuge in once again, and they owe it all to YN

• Cue the 3 of yall just being really sweet and all

[kylejsugarman]

Idk if you’ve answered this already but at what point in their relationship did Jesse tell Demi ab his past? How did that go over? How much does she know?

ive mentioned it some before but i haven't really gone super in depth!! as u all may know, i am very "and then everyone made it to alaska and everything ended up ok!! :)" minded, so i dont have a big dramatic revelation beat to my story and ultimately, jesse never tells demi that he's living under a completely new identity. however, he does tell her a Lot of other things, partially because he trusts her, partially because he feels guilty keeping things from her that might make her see him differently; he feels that she deserves to know how fucked up he is so she can escape him and avoid tying herself down to a mistake. jesse first tells her about his drug use after demi explains how her sister died, again out of that guilt and the expectation that she won't want to associate with a former(ish) addict, but demi saw firsthand how powerful addiction can be and isnt scared off. when it comes to his criminal history, it takes him a little longer to work up the nerve to disclose that stuff: he's afraid of both endangering her by letting her know what he's done and losing her. he drops a few things along the way, usually related to drug dealing and production since she was so understanding of that aspect of his past, but once they decide to get married, he feels that he owes it to her to be totally honest. the dark details of making and selling the drugs, being around violence and controlling figures. enacting violence himself. losing people. being sold into slavery. he leaves out specific identifying details (demi's never been a current events kind of person but he cant risk her connecting those dots) and places a lot of the blame on himself instead of trying to describe the people from his past who were pulling a lot of those strings. its basically an abridged version of the show's events, no names, no details in certain places (he doesnt even tell her which state he used to live in), and no forgiveness.

demi listens patiently the whole time, not asking many questions along the way. she tenses up when he touches on captivity, but otherwise her demeanor remains open and nonjudgmental. when it's over, she doesn't say anything, which is somehow worse than disgust. jesse is so wound up at this point that he flips out on her, insisting that this is her time to cut her losses. he's a criminal, a fucking murderer. he's evil. demi still doesnt react the way he wants and instead just waits until he's out of venom before reaching out to very gently smooth down his hair. petting the angry, upset dog instead of reflexively giving him away. "im sorry you've had to carry that around with you all this time," she says softly and that breaks him. because it Has been so hard carrying that around. demi asks a few more questions, clarifies a few more things, then tells him what she thinks. that she's seen how he acts now, how he treats people, how he treats himself. that she grew up with a father who sounds like the figures he alluded to in his story. that she is uncertain and insecure about a lot of things, but she's never been more sure that jesse is a good person and that she loves him irrespective of whatever came before. "im dangerous," he insists, a former fighting dog that would rather die than return to the ring. a hand on his own—"then why do i feel so safe with u?"

it's not perfect. there will always be things that jesse never shares with her and he will never totally forgive himself because as the one living person who knows the Extent of what went down, he feels that it's his responsibility to hold himself accountable for It for the rest of his life. demi's perception of him Does change, although not entirely in a negative way, and she is a little hurt that he expected her to bail so quickly and she can't lie and say that her mind doesn't occasionally drift to the fact that her husband has killed people. but at the end of the day, they're two broken people who were utterly convinced that their lives were over before they found each other. this is their second chance at life and they're never going to take that or each other for granted. whatever comes, they're going to face it together

[kindnessisweakness2]

Perfect Chaos - Part 9

“I should explain everything to you guys. I owe you that. Especially you Angel. I would hate you to think i was leading you on. I would never do that.” Riley sat around the fire pit as she spoke to them all. Angel, Lina, Coco and Ez all looked at her with worried expressions. She needed them to understand. She needed them to know why she was so worried for Angel’s safety. “I know things i shouldn’t know. Like club business. I know your all in the shit because you were running coke for Galindo and one of the shipments got stolen. I know Galindo thinks theres a rat at your table because it was BTT that jacked his shit. BTT are guns for hire basically, and Miguel thinks it was a Mayan that organised the hit. I know that by next Monday Miguel wants someone in his Pew to make up for the mistake.” Coco, Ez and Angel couldnt help but share glances of worry between them. “I know all about Ez and Emily’s old relationship, that its a sore spot for Galindo. That means Miguel already hates Ez and because your brothers he also dislikes Angel. I also know about the Rebels and the hate their pushing for the Cartel.” Coco placed his beer on the table and leaned his elbows on his knees. “You get all that from Jake?” Riley nodded. “Guess who the rat at your table is?” Riley sipped her drink and continued to fill everyone in. “He’s in Miguels pocket. Jake’s his ear in the Templo. Miguel wants rid of the MC and Ez dead. His wife clearly cant let go of her feelings and that burns Miguel. Jake set up the hit for Galindo’s shipment to start all this drama. Jake wants power and control. Just being patched doesnt give him that anymore.” Riley shook her head and sighed. "He knows I don't want to be with him anymore. I've tried to leave him before. That didn't go down well. He beat me so bad I couldn't get out of bed for days. Told everyone I was sick and he was taking care of me. Told me if I left him, he'd tell Miguel Coco was working with the rebels against him. He’d be dead and Lina would be devastated. I couldn't do that to any one. I don't want anyone hurt because of me.' Tears Welled in Riley’s eyes as Angel pulled her close. “This is why we have to be careful. I dont want him to come after you Angel.” Angel shook his head in disagreement. “I meant what i said. He’s not hurting you again.” Riley rolled her eyes at the stubborn man. “And i meant what i said. Im not letting any of you get hurt because of me." Lina leaned forward clearly frustrated. She couldn't stand Jake from the moment her friend started dating him. And she couldn't stand that he had used Riley's love for her and Coco to manipulate her. "Look how about we try and enjoy the next few days here. No Jake. No Stress. We will work out a plan before we head home." Everyone agreed, including Riley eventually.

An hour later and they had all moved indoors. The atmosphere was different though. Instead of depression and worry hanging heavy in the air, laughter now filled the indoor pool area they were all gathered in. Lina and Coco were all over each other in the pool, play fighting and making out. Ez was lay back on one of the pool chairs reading a book. And that left Angel and Riley down the furthest end of the pool. She would be lying if she said he didnt make her nervous. She was convinced that he could hear her heart beating ridiculously fast in her chest and she was trying to focus on keeping her breathing even. " Your beautiful." Angels soft voice made her snap from her thoughts. Beautiful? She was far from it. A ugly bruise spread on the one side of her face, her hair soaking wet and the oversized t-shirt she wore to swim in made her feel far from pretty. She smiled softly at him as her head turned to look at Lina who sat on Coco's shoulders, giggling as she covered his eyes with her hands. Now She was what you considered beautiful. Her tanned skin, long legs and wild curly hair had loads of guys falling at her feet. But she met her match in Coco and Riley was genuinely happy for them. Soft hands on her hips, again pulled her from her thoughts. "You don't see it. How amazing you are." Riley smiled at Angel, lifting her arms over his broad shoulders. "Thank you" she spoke softly, almost as if she spoke too loud he would disappear. Angels brows furrowed in confusion as he looked down at his girl. "For making me feel safe. For caring." Riley explained as she leaned into him fully. Angels heart lurched in his chest at her words. She really did feel like she was on her own. That no one cares. That she had to be strong. Angel gently leaned her against the side of the pool, her legs coming up to wrap around his hips. "I meant what I said Ry. I'll always keep you safe." Riley couldn't explain the emotions that Angel put through her. He really was incredible. Not being able to resist, she leaned forward and captured him in a deep kiss. Her hands cupping his face, his moving lower in the water to rest on her bum. The feel of his hands sliding underneath her shirt and up her back made Riley groan. Everywhere he touched made her skin tingle with excitement and warmth. She wanted him. She wanted him so bad, worse than she has ever wanted anyone before. None of this seemed real to her. That someone like Angel would want someone like her. He could have any body he wanted, but here he was kissing the life out of the girl nobody in their right mind would look twice at. "We should stop, it's not just us...." she spoke against his lips, inbetween kisses. " No one's paying attention baby." Angel trailed kisses down her neck, fingers hooking in the sides of her underware. "I could take you right here against the edge of the pool and not one of them idiots would notice." God, soaking wasn't the word. A gasp left her mouth as his hands moved lower. He filled her senses completely. She felt love drunk already, and it didn't make sense to her. How he could make her feel so much in such little time. Jake had never and could never make her feel this way. So wanted, so beautiful. "I have a better idea." She kissed the shell of his ear as she spoke quietly. Angel smiled as she drew him into another kiss before lifting herself out of the pool. Holding out her hand with a smile, she waited for Angel to get out or the pool before leading him towards the hallway. Lina locking eyes eith her as they passed a grin spreading on her face.

"Ooh go get it girl!! Make most of your alone time!! Don't do anything I wouldn't!!" Lina called out to them followed by lots of giggles. All Riley could think about was enjoying every moment with angel she could because as much as she hated to admit it, she knew there was trouble brewing and it was heading straight for her..

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

My personal “screaming about the lack of Ladynoir in the finale” post TM

Don’t know how to preface this???

this isn’t hate for the finale,

this is more, me reveling in the Angst of what they Chose Not To Put and screaming and wailing about how ladynoir has me in a chokehold

Im coming to terms with the s5 finale and finding bits of hope for my Ladynoir heart, etc. And i have decided that the finale has a ton of very very cool potential.

But i still can’t stop imagining… what if Adrien had gotten the messages from Ladybug??? What if he was About to give up being Chat Noir and give in to hopelessness and nightmares and terror and the cage he was trapped in and THEN (probably via Plagg, they could make it work) he got the frantic terrified messages from ladybug that were like “hi where ARE you?!?!?! Kitty cat come in NOW i NEED YOU!!?!? Hawkmoth knows my identity i think i am going to die i am all alone please please please show up i need you pick up pick UP.”

What if he was like. “Oh.” And his world just. Shifted. He thought his worst fear was ending the world as chat or being trapped even further by transforming in front of his father and being Caught but now Neither of those matter… now the only fear is just… not being Enough for ladybug… the fear of losing her or letting her down or making her feel as alone and abandoned and hopeless as he does right now????

What if he just????? Transformed without a moment of hesitation??? What if he was there taking to her on the phone coaching her through breathing and telling her he promised she would be okay and he promised he would be proud of her no matter what happened???? What if his own nightmares and fears started slipping through on the call and SHE turned around and reassured HIM that she trusts him fully and if he can’t trust himself he can at least trust HER judgement????? What if they both managed to avoid the mind control by being Each Others’ alliance?????

What if Ladybug found out that Chat Noir was in London ,,, because if Her identity’s been revealed to Monarch and she’s In His House than it’s Already going to hell and secrets don’t matter anymore, it just matters that they trust each other??? All they ever WANTED was to be open and trust and now its all they have left??? And theres not identity reveal or speculation bc it doesnt MATTER right now it just matters to SURVIVE or at LEAST be together for the end.

What if she told him not to come to Paris because it’s too dangerous to be in the same spot and he was like “im so sorry but i Cannot do that i cant leave you there Alone” and she was like “i know. and i love you. And id do the same. And that’s also why i cant tell you who monarch is or where the house is because i KNOW you’ll come here and i cant stop you. We cant both be in his grasp i just need you on the phone”

What if she fought in the basement for her life while getting support from him whilst he rallied all the other heroes and the resistance across the surface of paris???? What if we had ladybug and chat noir fighting the same battle on two different fronts, both Very Aware of each others’ situation nonstop,,, working as a Team despite the distance????? What if chat was just nonstop doing everything he could to reassure ladybug that they were doing okay and everyone supported her and he Trusted Her to do anything because the nightmares were STILL debilitating for everyone including them and they couldnt afford for either of them to get akumatized or even DISTRACTED and they just told puns and reminded each other when to use their powers and when to breathe?????

And chat could be captured or whatever and have to call out to ladybug and she could be like “send me your kwami its okay you did so good, i’ll be okay ill see you again”

Bug noire could still happen but it would be a strategic choice BOTH of them made TOGETHER with pain and love mixed together rather than the result of major decisions that they both were forced to make Independantly with no communication only fear and guilt and lonliness???

I dont know how to explain this but this is not salt this is not hate towards the episode this is just,,,, UGH this show has made me SO INVESTED in the dynamics and they had a CHANCE to do stuff and make it so fun and they DIDNT ,,,, they CHOSE to make it darker and grittier this time and i think it’s probably going in a cool direction,,, i think that ladybug and chat noir are gonna have some Fun (for me not for them) things to Discuss after this and some brand new abandonment issues combined with weird bits of Hope that Apparently they can survive on their own, all in a messy weird blurry pool of fears and relief and guilt and lonliness!!!!! And there’s so much to explore

But ALSO i miss my ladynoir goddammit i miss when it was the ladybug and chat noir show and i feel a little bit hollow seeing how ALONE!!! BOTH OF THEM were!!! this entire finale!!!!!!!!! Why are they ALONE those are my LADYNOIR they are PARTNERS do not SEPARATE THEM!!!! Stop doing PLOTS and HARD DECISIONS and IN CHARACTER MISTAKES to them and PLEASE just let them be perfect and together anyways aaaaaaaaa

(Bonus u can read the absolute essay i accidentally put in my tags for more scrambled thoughts)