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#Every single time it said “not that I care” or something along those lines
thesillyexpresser · 12 hours
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Finally kinda “””finalized””” my personal design of Murderbot and some other things along with a couple more doodles
It’s just a silly little guy who’s done with everything what’s not to like??
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splatashahowlett · 2 months
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Nighttime frenzy
logan howlett x reader
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part.2
you trusted charles with your life, everybody knew it. but sometimes he had the tendency of making the dumbest decisions known to mankind, at least from the outside. one of those senseless decisions was sending you and logan, the person that annoyed you the most in the whole world, on a mission on the other side of the country.
that's how you ended up in a trashy camping car in the middle of texas. what a great spring break! as if the smell of the vehicle or the broken ac wasn't enough, logan had decided to be even more irritating than usual. the begining of the trip could be summarized by unrelenting bickering; like logan tying you to your seat with the seatbelt after you threatened him to jump out of the window while he was driving.
you were conscious that you both acted like children, but you couldn't help it. you both seemed to awaken something in each other but couldn't quite put your finger on it. so you manifestly chose to hate each other. you accepted this mission for charles' sake and absolutely not cause something within you wanted to spend more time with logan.
"stop. it." logan fussed at you, who wouldn't stop pressing every single buttons before you: resulting in turning on the headlights, changing the radio channel, folding and unfolding the rear-view mirrors or activating the blinker. you knew you were getting insufferable but you had to occupy yourself during the trip right ?
"damn, you're so lame. you're the worst person to do a road trip with" you rolled your eyes, wishing it was ororo next to you. logan didn't answer, probably also wishing it was someone else next to him. so you kept going: "you're telling me charles has all those fancy cars and we're stuck with this piece of crap ? how is that even possible ?" logan, again stayed silent, but you knew he agreed on this one.
you both fell silent. the only thing you could hear was the occasional car driving by and honking at logan -considering the truck was going way too slow for everyone's liking- which would inspire logan's need to swear. each time he muttered a "fuck off" or honk in return you would let out a soft laugh, followed by a death stare from logan.
the heat was excruciating and you desperatly needed a shower. so you begged logan to make a stop for the night.
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"logan, I know you want it too" you coaxed, giving him a pleading gaze. logan abrubtly stopped the truck almost sending you flying through the windshield if it wasn't for his arm suddenly coming infront of your stomach.
"fine" logan said firmly. you bit your lip, amused but also embarassed by being corrected like a child. "I'll go for a walk while you're showering" he continued, stepped out the truck and slammed the door with enough strength to shake the entirety of the vehicle, including you.
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half an hour after your shower logan was still gone and you started to feel dumb for acting frivolous. was he really mad at you? did he get lost? it wasn't your problem anyway, if you could finish the mission alone it would be better for everyone.
so you climbed into the only bed, thinking logan was not going to sleep anwway. you didn't care nevertheless if he wanted to, you would get the bed.
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you woke up in the middle of the night, crickets basically singing to death. it was still extremely hot which explained your choice of clothes: a light tank top with a small short. what couldn't be explained was the presence of a monstruous bear in your bed. well, logan had enough of walking you guessed. it's only when your eyes adjusted to the darkness that you noticed logan was bare chest, and even if you hated it, this made your heart flutter.
right as when you were falling asleep, logan started shifting franticly in his sleep. you tilted your head, confused as to what was happening until you heard him mutter somehing along the lines of "let me go". ororo had told you about logan's recuring nightmares and you figured this must be one of those. you didn't really know what to do, being woken up by someone you don't appreciate much must be even worse than having a nightmare and you also didn't want to end up with his claws in your guts. so you found nothing better than to fill an old bucket you found in a cupboard with water and to drown him with it.
logan woke up instantly, claws coming out his knuckles. this definitely wasn't the best idea but at least no one got hurt. logan looked at you, not an ounce of anger in his eyes but more of worry. he got up and seated himself on the stairs leading to the outside off the camping car.
ten minutes later you joined logan by leaning against the doorframe. you didn't love the guy to death, but you knew those kind of nightmares were merciless and left you reliving things you wanted to forget over and over again. you didn't have to get a degree in psychology to guess logan wasn't doing great right now, his arms were crossed over his knees and his eyes fixated on the ground.
"come on, I changed the sheets" you spoke softly, scared to disturb his thoughts more than they already were. logan didn't move at first so you assumed he needed more time. you were about to join the bed when you heard a gentle protest.
"I'm sorry" logan said. you stopped in your tracks, surprised at how logan was acting. this was the first time he showed a sign of weakness. this made your heart melt and you immediatly answered. "there's no need to be sorry logan, you didn't do anything wrong". logan looked up at you and you sweared you saw a glimpse of gratitude and maybe even more. he stood up and followed you in the bed. you were facing him, not wanting him to think you didn't mean what you just said if you turned your back to him. logan looked down, not wanting to show he felt miserable. you took his hand in yours and brushed your thumbs against the back of his hand in an attempt to bring him comfort. you guessed it worked cause when you looked back at him, he was looking straight into your eyes. usually you would find this interaction awkward and immediatly get out the bed, but if logan didn't take his hand back that must mean that he needs you to stay and show him that he is not alone. so you stayed.
"I'm sorry for throwing water at you" you muttered, almost inaudible. the corner of logan's lips twitched upwards and you couldn't help but smile. you scooted closer to him and hid your face in his chest. one of your hand left his and found its way on his back, hugging him. you could hear logan let out a sigh of relief before planting his chin on your head, keeping you close to him.
"thank you".
you would go back to hating each other tomorrow, right now you just wanted to hold each other as long as the moon was glowing.
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chastiefoul · 2 years
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regret | alhaitham
a/n: a very messy drabble based on some idea that popped into my head. basically about a y/n who's very in touch with their feelings vs alhaitham handling those feelings (to nobody's surprise, it didn't end well)
tags: angstyyy
part 2 here
1.5k words
to say that you get along with alhaitham would be a stretch.
anyone would agree that your interactions consisted only of you always pestering him and alhaitham barely tolerating it. this causes amusement but also worries, you both being the polar opposites and all.
the arrogant and cold scribe versus the bright and cheery you. there’s a line, a wall if you will; that made everyone wondered, how long would the strange dynamic last before something eventually went wrong.
and it finally did.
hanging out with kaveh is something of a routine, with you studying the same subject; architecture. people were always naturally drawn to you, kaveh wasn’t the exception. you both get along with each other pretty quickly, and he’s been a close friends since. you even got to know alhaitham through him.
alhaitham said once, that you both were pretty similar albeit with different words—or to quote him as he spoke with such exasperation, “archons, now there are two of them.” still however alike, he quietly also thought there’s a key difference, a very apparent contrast that he couldn’t help but notice, even he didn’t try to.
you and kaveh both were very in touch with your emotions, meaning all of your actions often solely driven by feelings. although with kaveh he wasn’t ashamed of this, always stating clearly—or unnecessarily,  if something had upset him. but you on the other hand chose to hide that displeasure, masking it with an uncertain smile, one that’s clearly forced. as though wanting to halt any further argument. that somehow infuriated alhaitham.  
everyday you would always greet him without any care in the world. even though every conversation you had with alhaitham, somehow always turned into something he had to won, that he had to have the last word. he also couldn’t figure it out himself what got him so worked up every time he talked to you.
“kaveh, don’t you think alhaitham is a nice person?” one a peaceful lunch you asked. he shot you a disgusted look, as if the question had offended him. “are you in your right mind?” he quickly retorted. “well despite him looking so fed up and all that, he still talk to us, doesn’t he?” you played your food with your fork. “... and that’s why he’s ‘nice’? dear god the bar is in hell—no it’s even below the devil’s foot itself.” he sighed, really couldn’t believing his ear. what got you so infatuated with him anyway? in all honesty kaveh was having a hard time remembering if there was ever a time where alhaitham was nice to you, he only recalled your cheery attitude getting shot down by alhaitham’s apathy every single time.
wait. he knew what this is.
“you like him.” kaveh suddenly said. you couldn’t turn your head to him any quicker. “what?” you panicked. “you heard me. now i just need to hear you admitting it.” there’s a playful smile on kaveh’s face, he’s teasing. “you won’t, cause i don’t.” you said, trying hard to be calm while eating your food. “mmhm,” kaveh hummed knowingly, an annoying smirk plastered on his face. “you know what? i don’t have to listen to this, i’m leaving.” you pouted, gathering your stuff. “yes, and you know what your in-denial self should listen to instead? me.”
“shut up!”
“good morning, alhaitham!” you greeted him per usual with high energy. he hummed a reply, acknowledging your presence. when you just lingered there showing no sign of leaving he sighed. “how many times do i have to tell you my office is not a playground where you can hang around however you please?” he asked, preparing to sort out the documents from the fresh pile that just came. “i was just—nevermind that, do you need any help?” you asked with a smile. however the harmless question just tick something unpleasant inside of the scribe, he knew you meant well, truly he knew that. “do i look like someone who’s incapable of doing my own job?” he questioned in a cold tone.
“of course not! i just thought since i was a little free-“
“right. you thought, that never went well though, did it?” the viciousness was out of nowhere, you were caught off guard.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you narrowed your eyes at the harsh words—like he was saying that you were some kind of an idiot. he was always ill-tempered towards you, but he didn’t need to be this harsh over a mere offer to help.
alhaitham could feel he was being unreasonably mean, but he just couldn’t stand it. your useless kindness, your warmth, your concerns over his well-being all of these were so strange for him and his initial reaction was to reject and mock them. alhaitham felt like he was above it, it was too troublesome. he was fine living up to this point without the concerns from other people, and he was sure as hell he wasn’t going to start not being fine without it anytime soon.
 “why do you always think i need help? or do i need someone to remind me when to have my meal, or telling me to be conscious of my sleep schedule? frankly, it made me very uncomfortable,” once he started he felt like he couldn’t stop. alhaitham was mad, but if someone had asked him why he also wouldn’t be able to find the words to explain. he just was.
“well excuse me for trying to look out for my friend!” you raised your voice.
“friend? i never once thought of you that way,” he said. that shut you up real quick. the confession left your mouth agape, your chest ached. just what you are to him then, for the past half-year? but then when you think about it again, when has he exactly treat you as if you were something more of an acquaintance? in the end it was on you to assume, but it still hurts nonetheless.
in the brief silence alhaitham found the answer as to why was he so aggravated every time he talked to you.
alhaitham was blunt, he was ruthless in commenting on things that are out of place according to him. he was arrogant, often thinking that he’s above everything else, this include his way of life. a life of solitude; without the need of other people. but then you came, and his principles was shaken. alhaitham was a lot of things, but none would say that he’s fickle. yet, his rage right that second was a living proof that perhaps alhaitham was never the winner of those meaningless conversations he had with you. that truthfully, you already had him at the first good morning greeting you had given him with a bright smile.
and that is alhaitham’s hardest pill to swallow. you, a single person managed to make him almost change his entire life principles he had believed his whole life. and that’s as terrifying as it is infuriating to him. he couldn’t let you sway him more than this.
after what felt like eternity you finally responded.
“there’s a limit to being heartless, don’t you think?” you weakly said, you don’t even know what you were hoping for as a reply honestly. “there’s also should be a limit to your groundless assumptions.” he didn’t even look at you as he said these things, which perhaps good since you seriously couldn’t hold your tears anymore.
you had never believed rumors about people, as you will never know the truth unless you verify it yourself. but there, standing quietly as your tears wet the floor; there was no denying it anymore, alhaitham was indeed a heartless man who has zero empathy towards other living being.
“maybe i was wrong about you, alhaitham.” you smiled sadly.
it’s better this way.
“you were. now if you don’t mind, i have work to do.” he stated firmly, meaning: get out. which you will do gladly once you said your piece.
“it’ll do you good in the future to not be so driven by your emotions,” he still thought he was in a position to lecture you.
“yeah? and it’ll do you to good get off your high horse once in a damn while, you’re not fucking better than everybody else, alhaitham.”
“maybe so, but i certainly know i’m above acting solely over any emotion i’ve felt in the moment. i stopped doing that after i turned six, actually.” to think he'd mock you for crying.
“fuck you, alhaitham. enjoy your ‘alone’ time, i hope it stays that way forever.” you walked away from his office, swearing to yourself that it will be the last time you set foot on that damn place. alhaitham rarely see you frown, and to see you that angry and he was the cause of it.. silence got the better of him, the insides of his chest was swirling, he wasn't sure what to feel.
when your footsteps was finally out of hearing, alhaitham brought his palm to his face, his emotions getting the better of him. he saw the the hurt in your face, it was beyond saving. there’s nothing he could possibly say or do to get you to forgive him. and that was his intention of course, to get you to hate him. but he never thought he’d be ready for that.
alhaitham days quickly returned to the monotous routine. a quiet cycle, he thought he loved that. it's easy to realize that he did not anymore.
he's already so used to you. he kept waiting for you every morning, maybe if he wished hard enough you’d forget everything and just came back like nothing happened. but those days didn’t come, the memory quickly turns into anguish but more than that, regret.
aside from his ego, perhaps this regret is also something he would take to his grave.
-
part 2 maybe??
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xxblairexxss · 1 year
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Smitten (part 2 for ‘Everything Shower’)
Pairing : Charles leclerc x reader
Theme : Fluff
Feel free to slide in my inbox. I’m always open to talk about any ideas you would want to see in my upcoming fics!
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Charles groaned as you pulled the drapes to the side, allowing the sun to illuminate the room.
“Morning, baby!” Your mood was clearly not on the same level with your boyfriend because he still had his eyes closed but his arm was stretched out when he sensed you walking closer to his side of the bed.
“For a second I forgot what happened to my image.” He scooted a little bit so you could sit by his side and started stroking on his cheek.
He looked so beautiful, even more beautiful with the morning sunlight. The way his eyelashes lined up along the ends of his eyelids, the way his mouth was slightly ajar as he breathed out. He wasn’t asleep anymore and you knew it from his grasp around you waist.
“Your lover boy image? Are you embarrassed that they found out you were obsessed with your own girlfriend?”
“No, I am the proudest boyfriend ever but I can’t stand them teasing me. Daniel would be attending this race too. As if things couldn’t get any worse.” He grumbled before you caught his arms and pulled him up to sit.
“Get up, bubs. It’s time for you to get ready.”
His arms found the way back to your waist again and he started planting kisses from your neck, up to your jawline and ended the train of kisses on your nose. “But I’m not done spending time with you yet. Care to join me for breakfast together?”
You weren’t a breakfast kind of girl because you would always feel nauseous if you eat something heavy in the morning and Charles knew it too. But you knew he had asked you just so that you two could pass time together before he spent the rest of the day in the pit today.
“Sure, let me get ready first.” You left a peck on his cheek before getting up to leave to the bathroom.
“Baby, count me in too.” Charles threw the duvet away from covering his half naked body and followed your steps. You couldn’t even brush your teeth alone.
kymillman
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kymillman Charles Leclerc arrived at the paddock. Not sure what happened but the crowds went wild!
username it’s the lover boy
username he looked completely different compare to y/n video
username bcs he’s with his gf in private you have never been in love bud?
username tough days ahead for him 🤭
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﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎
After what happened at Silverstone Grand Prix, you just continued with your life as if you weren’t the one behind all those teasings he had to face during the weekend. Well, there was nothing wrong. It wasn’t like you aired your boyfriend’s dirty laundry.
Charles had told you that he kinda liked it because it kinda gave him a reason to mention you in interviews but he refused to admit the clingy part.
“Bubs, you are the clingy one.”
Charles firmly shook his head. “No, I’m not. I didn’t see you for 2 weeks so it was a moment of weakness.”
“So you are saying it won’t happen again? You won’t hug me like you usually do while I’m prepping my skin?” He had his hand under your oversized shirt as you leaned on his chest and you felt his thumb abruptly stopped from stroking the skin of your belly which caused you to giggle. You knew he liked clinging on you whenever you finished your shower. He liked the scent of your vanilla scent from your hair shampoo, the sweet fruity scent from your moisturizer. It was just accidentally being recorded in the tiktok because you were just trying to make a video, not because you tried to expose him.
He was quite and you could sense he was thinking hard, analysing every single consequences for every answer. “I can’t hug my girlfriend?”
“You just said it was a moment of weakness.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“You said, it was a moment if weakness.”
﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎
You turned on your phone and propped it against the box of cotton pads. A few skincare products were placed in front of it, careful not to cover the camera. Once everything was set up, only then you turned off the shower. You knew Charles would come in when he no longer heard the water flowing and you wouldn’t have enough time to set up your phone if you did it by then.
You had just washed your face when you heard a soft knock and a muffled voice coming from the outside.
“Baby, are you recording a video again?”
“No, why?”
Charles didn’t reply but you heard a faint creaking sound from the door being opened. “Nothing, I was just asking.” Your ‘not clingy’ boyfriend is now in the bathroom with you for no absolute reason. He didn’t go straight to embrace you as he usually did because you were glaring at him ever since he stepped in.
“I just wanted to check on my girlfriend….” It was as if he had read your mind before you could asked him, what are you doing here.
You continued with your skincare, serum, niacinamide, retinol all sorts of things while occasionally still glaring at him and your boyfriend was just there, staring at your reflection while touching all sort of products you had in front of you, itching to hold you like he always did but if it wasn’t the consequences of his own words. You knew he didn’t missed your look, he was just ignoring it.
“Oh? This is a new one. I have never seen this before.” Your boyfriend looked like a curious kid who just happened to find something new that was worth his attention. Charles stood up straight and took the product that caught his attention. “Chérie, what’s this? Looks like the one you always put on every time we go out.”
“That’s my lash serum, Charles.”
“Wow, you have serum for your lash too? How do you put it on?”
You took the product from his hand and twisted the cap to pull it open. “You put it on like how you always see me put on my mascara.”
“Put it on me.” He scooted his way in front of you, blocking you from seeing your reflection in the mirror and now the camera could only see his back that was leaned against the cabinet. Charles finally held you as he pulled you closer by your waist, making you stand as close as he could in between his legs.
“You can put it on yourself.”
“No, I don’t know how. You do it.”
“Such a baby.” You rolled your eyes and placed your hand on the side of his neck as the other one started carefully stroke the brushes on his long lashes. “You know, you really don’t need to put this one you already have long—“
“Ouch, that went into my eyes. It stings, baby!” Charles suddenly flinched and turned his head away. You immediately put the serum aside and tried to stepped away so you could do something, anything.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Wash it off. Come here, I’ll help you.”
“No.” He closed off his legs before you could move any further and you could feel his grip on your waist went tighter.
“What—“
Before you could finish your sentence, he slanted his body against you and hides his face in the creek of your neck.
“I just want to hold my girlfriend…can you stop glaring at me…please?”
And he didn’t say anything else. All you could hear after was just the sound of his breathing and warm breath against your skin.
“You scared me! Is this your moment of weakness again?” You stifled a giggle as you bring your hand on his fluffy hair and stroked it.
He hummed in response. He couldn’t pull you closer because you were practically latched on his body now. There wasn’t even an inch of space in between your bodies.
“No, I’m just smitten with love.”
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ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, and 446,376 others
ynusername date night with my cuddly bby 🤎
username you are a saviour keep on feeding us the content
username we live for more content for boyfriend charles
danielricciardo I got goosebumps thinking about the video
landonorris Yeah, that’s a no from me
username CUTIES 🥰🥹
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janeyseymour · 2 months
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Never In a Million Years... Unless...- pt. 1
back on my bullshit and here with this for you
summary: Melissa feels a certain way about everything. And you? You're just happy to be there.
WC: ~1.8k
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Melissa Schemmenti never wanted to be a mother. From the time she was little, she knew that she never wanted to have her own children. After having to take care of most of her siblings after her parents’ devastating divorce and stepping into a more maternal role at the ripe age of ten, the redhead knew what it took. She never wanted to be in that position again. Cooking, cleaning, running to the bus stop to make sure siblings got to school on time before attempting to get herself an education in a rightly manner was more than enough mothering than Melissa knew she ever wanted to have to do.
And she stood by that as she grew older. In fact, that single fact alone ruined quite a few relationships in the woman’s past.
“I don’t want children,” she would tell her partners. They would either try to sway her into changing her mind, or they would outright tell her that the relationship wouldn’t work out. Melissa found that she almost liked when they would just end it right there instead of trying to drag out something that would never work because of her stubborn position on the matter. The only person who didn’t push the idea of children on the woman was Joe- and she ended up married to him. Of course, she divorced him later on, but that’s besides the point.
All that being said though, Melissa Schemmenti knew that children were destined to be in her life one way or another- which led her to teaching. And teaching filled that hole in her heart of not having her own children. Some days, she almost wished she had her own children, specifically after her school children did something absolutely precious. But then there were the days where her school children were absolute menaces, and she was beyond grateful that she didn’t have to go home to her own little monsters (and she knows how Schemmenti children can be).
She led her life that way for oh so long, brushing off questions of when she was going to settle down again and finally have the children that others so desperately wanted her to have.
And then you came along- not that that changed her outlook on getting remarried and having children. But having you come into her life… it was nice. It was different. Melissa genuinely liked having you around, something that she couldn’t say about most of the people she worked with.
It had started because you were a new teacher at Abbott- a new kindergarten teacher to help take the load off of Barbara Howard. Quite frankly, the two veteran teachers weren’t thrilled with your appearance, but once they realized that you truly did have what it took to stay at the elementary school, they welcomed you with open arms- at least somewhat open arms.
And then one day, it changed. The redhead knew how perfect you were with your students, how you helped her best friend with the challenges that came with teaching at an underfunded and, at times, poorly run school, how your heart was in the right place… and that were absolutely stunning to look at. But when she was able to actual witness the magic that you seem to hold, she couldn’t stop herself from asking you out any longer. 
Everything that she stood for was laid out on the table right away, and you respected that. Hell, you leaned into it and promised her that the feelings she had about every matter on the table were valid. 
Your relationship with the sometimes brash and irascible second grade teacher was one of, if not the, healthiest relationships you had ever fostered. She had boundaries, you had your own boundaries, and neither of you crossed those lines. And if you did? The night was spent talking it out in a mature and calm manner, often times leading to making it up to each other in sweet and honest ways.
At this point, the two of you have been dating for a few years, and things still couldn’t be any better.
After a slight hiccup in the road, you’re living together. Domestic life could not come easier for the two of you. It is a blessing to be able to wake up to those sparkling emerald eyes, spend the morning getting ready together, have lunch together, cozy up on the couch after a long day with a warm meal, and then retire to the bedroom where you could fall asleep to the gentle beating of her heart.
Life is perfect with Melissa. There is nothing that you would change about her, and she wouldn’t change anything about you. Sure, the sometimes incredibly short temper on your girlfriend over menial things was challenging, and she didn’t necessarily enjoy the fact that you would kick your shoes off at the front door instead of placing them in the shoe basket you had. But every person has their faults, and you’ve come to learn that she needs space over certain things, and she’s realized that rather than pick a fight, she can just toss your shoes into the bin.
The topic of marriage and future is few and far between. Really, the only times that you ever spoke about it were when you first started dating, and then again when you took the leap and moved in with her. Neither of you were gunning for marriage or children, and that made the redhead breathe easier- knowing that you wouldn’t leave her over the topics.
You, in a blissful and loving haze, don’t know though, that things in Melissa’s mind are changing. You’re younger than her, and while you’ve made it quite clear that you’re more than okay with just being partners, doubts of you leaving her for someone else are never far from her mind. You could have anyone you wanted- a strong and beautiful man or woman who would gladly take your hand in marriage without hesitation and mother or father your children who would no doubt be the complete opposite of what a Schemmenti child is.
So when your girlfriend brings up the topic that is relatively taboo in your household, you’re taken aback.
“What?” you ask over a glass of wine, feet propped up on the coffee table.
“I don’t know, mi amore,” Melissa sighs as she plays with one of the rings sitting on your finger. Subconsciously, her hand begins to rub where an engagement and wedding ring could be sitting if you had decided that you wanted something else in life.
“Mel, I don’t need that stuff,” you tell her softly. “I just need you, and I’m the happiest woman alive.”
“I just…” the redhead trails off. “I’ve been thinking about it lately that you could have anyone you want, and maybe I’m just holding you back.”
At that you turn to face her, bringing your feet under you as you force her to look you in the eye. “Melissa Schemmenti.”
She hums, dropping her own eyes down to her lap.
“I could have anyone I want, and I have the person I want,” you tell your girlfriend fiercely. “You are not holding me back in the slightest. All I could ever want is the life I’ve built with you, and I do not need you getting in your pretty little head about the absurd ‘what if’s’ that are never going to come true. You’re stuck with me. I love you.”
“I love you too, mi amore,” she whispers as she leans in to kiss you.
“You are everything I could ever want,” you promise Melissa quietly. “Smart, sexy, confident, funny… brazen. Everything I could ever want, and then some.”
That night, just like every other night, you fall asleep with your head on her chest. And while the second grade teacher would usually follow suit relatively quickly, her mind is racing. She had always been so against marriage- giving her heart to someone else, only for it to be broken again the way Joe had broken her heart. She had spent so much time putting the pieces back together again, and even then, there were still cracks and scars from that relationship.
But… in every sense of the word other than legal parameters, the two of you are practically married as it is. You’re living together, you sleep in the same bed, she’s already given her heart to you. So maybe… just maybe, marriage isn’t quite off the table. 
She knows that you really don’t mind not being married, that you are perfectly okay with just spending the rest of your days together in the same realm that you are now, but… she also knows that you wouldn’t mind being married. And you’ve been so you about the topic of marriage- kind and understanding of her hesitations, doubts, and fears. You’ve never pushed for it because you’re so respectful of her boundaries. But she’s also heard when your coworkers ask when you’re finally going to have a ring. She’s also heard the way that you sigh softly, just the slightest bit of disappointment traceable in that little breath before smiling and saying that you don’t need one as long as you have Melissa. You’re just happy that you’re able to call her your girlfriend, your partner, the woman of your dreams.
The woman realizes that so far in this relationship, you’ve compromised on every big thing. You were willing to wait until she was ready to date, despite the fact that you knew she was into you way before she finally asked you out (she found out from Barbara that you had confided in your colleague and claimed that you were okay with waiting until Melissa came around to it herself). You were willing to accept her non-negotiable when it came to the romantic aspect of your relationship. You didn’t push her into living together until she brought up the subject, and then almost took back her offer because her own fears and doubts took over. The foundation of this relationship was mostly built upon the redhead’s views, and you were happy to go along with them because all you knew was that you wanted Melissa. 
And maybe… maybe it’s time she think about you. Of course, she still has doubts and fears about it, but jumping into a relationship with you was terrifying, and she thinks about where she is now. She said never in a million years was she going to get married again, but here she was- almost certain that at some point in the near future, she would be asking you to marry her. 
TAGS (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo
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y3ager · 11 months
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STORYTIME I (26 F) FUCKED MY SUPERSTAR CLIENT (24 M) AFTER MONTHS OF SEXUAL TENSION!
— ‘i’m a manager for a pretty big music label and my client is the biggest dickhead in the world but i fear i fucked him after one of our usual arguments.. 😵‍💫’
eren y. x black!fem!reader
tags: modern au, smut, porn not much plot, hate(?)sex, cunnilingus, cowgirl, reader gets called ‘mama’ and ‘boss’, unprotected sex, mild choking, musician!eren, manager!reader. minors do not interact.
my first collab entry MAKE SOME NOISE YALL WTF!!! but no seriously thanks so much to @k9nto for letting me join your event i had a blast writing this! hope you all enjoy! 🤭
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YOU’VE ENCOUNTERED SOME annoying people in your life. in kindergarten, a boy taunted you by picking up one your fallen hot pink knocker-balls and refusing to give it back to you. in high school, some chick named tiffany ripped down all of your junior class president posters that you spent weeks designing and printing out on the highest quality paper. your college advisor had been completely useless, you’d still be dragging yourself through your bachelor’s degree if you didn’t stay on your toes and realize the classes you were dropped in were a waste of time. but all of these people, and many more that have slipped your mind, shaped and molded you into the woman you were today. strong, tenacious, independent, a go-getter who never gave up and thus was able to reap her hard work, in the form of three nice crisp degrees and a never pitiful bank account.
but eren yeager, grammy award winning singer, songwriter and musician, with multiple weeks spent at the top of the billboard hot 100 and 200 charts, millions of units sold worldwide, and stadiums packed to the brim, took the fucking cake.
you were warned he’d be difficult. every manager he’s assigned quits before one of them ends up in a body bag. none of them have a single nice thing to say about him, and he finds that hilarious.
for better or for worse, you took the challenge because you’re a sucker for them. nothing in life comes easy, and you figured that the managers before just didn’t come hard enough. maybe eren’s fame and status made them falter, but such a fate wouldn’t befall you.
you dragged him to his magazine shoots, you kept his mouth in line during interviews, you kept his socials clean. he was never a second late to rehearsals and recordings. he was a reflection of you, and if you were perfect goddammit he was going to be too.
until today.
“i’m not putting in another extension, eren. the label is starting to get really irritable. we need to go to the studio now.” you furiously swiping along your ipad, pacing around the singer’s deluxe hotel room. while you’re dressed for the day in clean crisp clothes, sharp stilettos, and jet black lace front expertly melted and laid, eren’s still in the bed. the covers are everywhere, his shirt is next to a couple pillows on the floor, and he’s laying on his back eating a croissant from room service, paying you absolutely no mind. it takes everything in you to not chuck your device at his big head. “i’m serious. get. up.”
“and i said i’m not,” he mocks your assertive tone, voice oozing in sarcasm. “going.” he coughs, obviously faking. “my voice hurts. can’t make those greedy bastards money if my vocal chords ache. they’ll live.”
“you are on a strict deadline this era. if you want to catch award season, this album needs to be finished and dropped in the next month. amidst the press tour, your window of recording time is dwindling fast.” dates in your digital calendar glare at you, red and angry. every time you check something off your to do, ten new things pop up. you feel your jaw clenching, teeth gritting together uncomfortably.
“i’ve won enough awards. i don’t care. i’m not getting up.” eren finally raises up from the bed, narrowed green eyes meeting yours. it’s fire against fire, an unstoppable force that is a manager determined to do her job versus an immovable object, a musician who’s not budging from his spot. “it’s my album. it’s my music. i finish it when the fuck i get ready. that label will burn before they drop me.”
“if you don’t follow contract, they will drop you. they put a lot of money into you-”
“money i made back for those dumbasses-!”
“they are your bosses, without them-”
“they need me way more than i need them-!”
“get,” you toss your ipad over to a small couch, storming over to the bed. you snatch the edge of the covers and yank hard. enough is enough. if he won’t get up, you’ll make him get up. “the fuck out of this bed, eren, now!”
“you need,” the cover is yanked back, tugging you forward along with it. you lurch momentarily before righting yourself upwards, leaning back to give yourself more leverage in this childish tug of war you find yourself in. “to calm the fuck down, ___. i’m not going and that’s fucking it.” eren may be lean, but he’s toned like a MMA fighter, muscles rippling under tan skin when he calls upon them. another tug and you topple onto the california king bed, one expensive heel sliding off your foot and falling across the room.
your heads snaps up from the covers, brow furrowed deep in anger. “stop being so fucking difficult, you moron!” emotions welling, you grab one of his arms, preparing to drag him out of this bed. your to do list is a nagging itch on your brain that by the grace of god you are going to scratch. you’re not about to let this bad-with-authority dickhead best you when all he has to do is record a fucking vocal.
“oh, we’re doing this?” easily, too easily, so easily that you register your back hitting the soft bed before you realized he even grabbed you back. he pins you down easily, slightly calloused hands grip your upper arms firmly, pushing them down. he places his legs other either side of your hips so yours are forced in between them, but doesn’t keep you from writhing to free yourself. “whatever fucking—stop doing that—chip you have on your shoulder, you need to fucking solve it because shit’s not going your way today. i’m not going and that is final.”
the tussle leaves you two of you panting, eyes boring into each other’s. eren’s long chocolate brown hair is disheveled not only from a night’s sleep but from this impromptu wrestle. small beads up sweat trickle down his naked chest. your writhe again, and he presses down against you, a synonymous hiss sliding through both of your mouths.
“i hate you, eren.”
“whatever helps you sleep at night, ___. looks like you wanted an excuse to feel up on me.”
“oh, like you wanted an excuse to hump me like a mutt?”
there’s another beat of silence as you two watch each other. eren’s hands tighten their hold just a tad before he presses his hardening length hard against your clothed cunt. against your better judgement, your head tilts back and a small moan fights against your bitten bottom lip.
eren hums lowly, his dick bulging against the constraint of his boxers. “hate me too much to actually fuck me, huh? i’m only worth a dry hump.”
oh how eren frustrates you. how he makes even the simplest things in life painstakingly difficult. how he makes you want to smoke ten packs of cigarettes after a day of dealing with him. but oh, how handsome he looks under the lights at photo shoots. how his deep, smooth voice reverbs in your ears. how his fingers move so deftly on his guitar, as if it’s merely an extension of his body. who wouldn’t fantasize about that late at night, him bending you over and snatching down your pants to fuck the stress out of you, or yourself knocking him down a peg and making him beg to let you cum inside.
“shut-” another roll of his hips makes you gasp. “up..”
“i want you, ___,” eren confesses. his hips don’t falter, his cock becoming hungry for release. “i want that pussy. i wanna fuck that little attitude out of you, can i? i see how you look at me and i stare right back.”
you shiver, hand rushing to undo your dress pants and feel more of eren’s dick against your dampening cunt. his hands work with your perfectly, yanking your pants down. it’s a whirlwind of clothes, your sweater, bra, your other shoe.
eren reaches up to grab your breasts, rolling them in his palms, squeezing the supple flesh, pushing them together. “oh, pretty girl. pretty fuckin’ tits.” leaning down, he kisses down your sternum, stomach, inching closer and closer to your center. he wastes no time grabbing your thighs and licking a nice, long stripe against your drooling cunt and sucking on your clit.
your back immediately arches up and your hands fly to grip eren’s hair, tugging at the locks and pulling him in closer so you can feel everything. “oh my god, eren.” the singer’s not shy at all, audibly sucking at you and reaching up to twist and pinch your pebbled nipples.
with another languid lick eren pulls himself away. he pulls his boxers down on and off, freeing his dick from the constraint. he rubs the thick, weeping tip up and down your slit, staring hungrily at the juices leaking out. the feeling of it makes you shiver in anticipation.
“mmm, mm-mm.” you push yourself up. “let me get ‘n top..” there’s a greedy look in your low eyes as you place your hand on eren’s solid chest and lay him down on the bed.
“take charge here too, huh?” your forwardness makes him chuckle as he watches you straddle his waist. “okay then. ride me.”
you brace yourself on your toes as his hand and yours grasp his shaft, directing it to your pulsing hole. you slide down gingerly onto him, his size quickly stretching you out. “ahh, fuck, eren. fuck…”
“you got it,” he assures you, one hand on your thigh as you sink lower and lower, taking him in inch by inch. he bites his lip at the wet tightness of your walls, squeezing and sucking him in. it makes him throw his head back, a couple of small pants escaping his mouth. “mmhm, fuck that pussy feels so good. take that dick, boss.” his hand raises only to land on your ass check with a sharp slap.
you start out slow at first, letting yourself adjust to the wideness of his dick but that quickly gets old. you’re soon addicted to the feeling of him fitting inside so perfectly. gripping his free hand in yours, you swivel and raise your hips faster and faster, effortlessly, desperate for that feeling of him pounding that oh so sweet spot. your juices slide down his length, the slap slap slap of your ass against his muscled thighs filling the room. “‘s so big, feels so good,” your voice slurs.
eren hisses from his spot under you, eyes trained on where you two connect. mouth slightly agape, he watches your cunt swallow him up and the fluid that leaks out. “yes, mama. keep fucking me just like that. feels.. f-fuckin’ amazin’…” his hands grab your plump ass cheeks, fingers digging in hard as he thrusts his hips up, driving the tip of his cock even deeper inside you and pulling a loud moan from you. “keep goin, mama, ‘m almost there, don’t stop, please..”
his pleading make you clench even tighter around him, and that feeling deep inside your tummy aches for release. you place a hand around his throat to better balance yourself, relishing in his low groan. your thighs quake and tremble, your hips meeting his eager thrust perfectly. “oh, my god; oh my god. i’m— shit!” you throw your head back in ecstasy, cumming hard enough on your client’s dick to leave you numb.
“aw, fuck, boss.” eren thrusts up to push his cum deep inside, holding you against himself to ensure a single drop doesn’t leak. “take it, take it..”
the two of you are left panting hard, bodies sweaty and gleaming with the afterglow of sex. you gingerly pull away, cunt left sore and spent from a round of sex months in the making. eren reaches over to caress your ebon lips, admiring the smooth, wet feeling once you roll onto your back. “no more attitude from you, yeah?”
“no more attitude from the man reduced to calling me ‘mama’ and begging to cum either, i’d assume.” your teasing laughter is cut off by him purposefully sinking three fingers deep inside you. “mmh…”
“mhm, sure.” roles reversed, eren climbs on top of you and stares down with green eyes aflame with lust through his tousled brown hair. “now i want to see what i can make you call me.”
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koolades-world · 5 months
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i saw the cat and corvid mc ones and i wanna see dog-like mc so bad, like one whos very loyal, loves cuddling with loved ones, if they had a tail and one of the gang came home itd be faster than a helicopter i think, if they see anyone with food theyd just come up to them with their puppy dog eyes, they just lounge around in random spots nearby the characters or even lays their head/body on them. sometimes theyll be playing with something and be possessive over it and a "Whats that in your mouth" situation comes in and they run away taking random stuff they found lying around the HoL, maybe theyre also rly playful and love playfighting and stuff like tug of war
thats just a few things that come off the top of my head lol how the mc is like is up to you, sorry if theres too much or doesnt make sense! xoxo
haha hi!!! yes of course!
this is such a fun idea. i may or may not have based this reader off my goofy goober of a dog. she's so sweet but sometimes i wonder if theres even a single thought in that head of hers haha
enjoy <3
Dog-like Mc
Lucifer
getting lock out of his bedroom always proceeds as such: being sad that you're locked out, sitting sadly in front of the door and scratching at it, lucifer feeling bad and eventually letting you in so you can sit on his bed and ruin the freshly made sheets lol
rinse and repeat the cycle nightly
the puppy dog eyes work very well on him
since he handles his brothers so often, he's good at getting you to listen when you're off in lala land or something along those lines
Mammon
he himself is kinda dog like, so the two of you get along pretty well
both of you would follow the other to the worlds end <33
you probably steal his sunglasses from time to time and he has to hunt you down to get them back, just because when he said “drop it” you accepted that as a challenge lol
the only difference in the two of you, however, is that you’re much more open with how you feel and will not hesitate to admit that you love him even if it flustered him haha
Levi
he's a little wary of having you in his room
he has lots of valuables that he treasures and while he's a little afraid you'll steal and or mess something up, he genuinely cares about you and is willing to get past that
however he did need a day away from you after you drooled on his Ruri pillow haha
after he got to know you better, he really appreciated always having an outgoing buddy to go out in public with someone that wasn't one of his brothers
Satan
sitting with him while he reads!! randomly laying your head in his lap <3
you always check out what's in his mug while he reads despite the fact that it never changes (it's always tea) but maybe one day it'll be something delicious, like chips haha
he's wary of taking you into a cat cafe, but surprisingly, all the cats love you!
now he's questioning if he's really a cat, or if he's a dog person lol
Asmo
you let him do any kind of skincare and treatments he wants on you
and he thinks it's great! until he sees you at the end of the day and it kinda looks like you swam in a mud puddle
he's not going to be the one to subject you to a bath so he always shoos you off and tells you to go clean up before you can get something else done (my dog hates water lol)
if he's ever missing one of his rather tasty smelling skincare products or a brush, or something like that, he just opens a bag of chips and summons you + beel (see below lol)
Beel
please the amount of food you're getting from him
those puppy dog eyes work so well and he can't help but give in every single time
both of you come running every time someone opens a chip bag even if it's on the other side of the house haha. if the others have issues finding you, that's how they do it quick and easy
every meal of yours is eaten together, of course
Belphie
the realest cat and dog dynamic ever!
please there's no way you're not jumping on his bed just for fun while he's sleeping in it. he's convinced it's to annoy him but it's just you being incredible oblivious and wanting to have fun
you guys are best friends. i don't make the rules haha
when you do want to nap with him, however, it's the best nap you've ever had and is probably a very cute pic
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scififettuccine · 3 months
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A Wild Fix: Part 1.5?
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Pairing: Platonic!Butcher x Supe!Reader
Summary: 3 weeks into your alliance with The Boys, you and Butcher go through the Vought Database. Butcher being curious about a Supe he's never heard of leads him to put together a plan that's less than safe. But does he listen to your warnings? Of course not.
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: Exposition, mentions of casinos, mention of suicide
Notes: Hey ya'll! Long time no see! You're probably wondering what the fuck this is. As you may have noticed I haven't posted anything in a few days. This is because when I got into writing Part 2, it became A LOT more complex and involved than I intended, including new characters and a sharp left turn in the story line that I didn't plan. Considering the results from the pole, I figured no one would really be mad if I did this. Part 1.5 is A LOT of exposition, setting up the actual second installment of the series. I could have made Part 2 longer, but it was way past how many words I wanted to have in each installment. I didn't want to call this an actual part two, because this alone isn't long enough to qualify as its own part, so...✨1.5✨ As you can most likely tell, I'm not following the canon plot exactly, I find that to be EXTREMELY boring. I know it's something that some people don't love, but at the end of the day it's creative writing and I enjoy doing it. Here is a link to Part 1 if you missed it! The official part 2 of A Wild Fix will be out very soon, but for now, enjoy this expositional interlude from our good lad, William Butcher.
It was safe to say that, since your first meeting? You and Frenchie didn’t get along very well. You had been running with The Boys for almost a month now, yet the two of you couldn’t agree on a single thing. But honestly? That didn't really matter to you. He didn't seem like the kind of person you wanted to be close with, anyway.
You had adjusted pretty well to this double standard of life, working for Vought, and working with The Boys. You were very careful, and there hadn’t been any close calls…yet. As for adjusting to the basement hideout? That didn't necessarily get any easier. You had carved out a little spot for yourself in one of the less occupied corners, just big enough to set your computer down, and maybe put a cup of coffee off to the side. And at the moment, that's where you sat. Working out time to help out wasn’t very hard. You were a member of The Seven, yes, but due to your powers, you were more of an alternate. You still went to meetings, and you still lived in the tower, you just weren't sent out as much. Butcher had requested that you dig into a few things for him in the Vought database. The Vought database had become available to you since you signed the contract with the company. It didn’t contain anything majorly world shattering, just some more detailed info on every Supe that had ever been involved with the company, including deceased, and currently active Supes. The info pages almost reminded you of trading cards, you laughed to yourself at the thought. It almost made you wonder why Vought hadn’t cashed in on some sort of trading card game.
“Something funny, love?” Butcher asked. You could see him approaching from behind in the reflection of your laptop screen.
“Yeah, actually…” You said, beckoning him over. Butcher crouched down next to your chair, looking at the computer screen. “Don’t those stats kinda look like trading cards? I mean, even the way it’s set up. Surprised Vought hasn’t cashed in on that yet.” Butcher raised a brow and leaned a bit closer to the screen, letting out a small ‘hmph’ sound. 
“You’re not wrong.” He examined the screen for a moment. “So you can see every Supe that's ever been involved with the company?” You nodded.
“For the most part, yes. But usually if there's anything they need to hide, the Supe goes to whoever runs the database and asks for that piece of information to be taken off of it. It’s actually in the contract somewhere, in the fine print, if I remember.” Butcher gave a small hum of acknowledgement.
“So if I had to guess, Homelander doesn't even have a file?” He asked. You narrowed your eyes towards the screen as you clicked out of the file you were on, and searched Homelander’s name in the top bar. When the file came up, you clicked it. Low and behold…? Not much. Just his in-company stats, The Seven logo, showing his affiliation with the group, and the year he had been signed onto the company. 
“Yeah…nothing much. Most of The Seven are like this, actually. If I remember correctly…” You clicked out of Homelander’s file, and clicked on the search bar again. You went to type in ‘Maeve,’ but Butcher stopped you, placing his finger over one of the file cards on the screen.
“Who’s that bloke?” He asked. You raised a brow and moved his finger out of the way. He had been pointing to a file card for the Supe named Mixer, who belonged to a new Vought owned Supe team that had been gaining steam recently…Residency. Vought had always sort of branded it as the new age Payback, but it was more of a marketing thing. The Supes on the team were legit, powerful, and some of them popular…But it definitely wasn't anything close to Payback. Mixer, admittedly, was one of the more known Supe’s on the team. He had been a musician first, gaining popularity from his young start in the industry. And as soon as Vought could get its bloodstained hands on the poor guy? He was signed on. Now? He had a residency at Planet Vought Casino & Resort in Las Vegas, and a spot in Residency.
“That's Mixer. He’s around my age, I think…Super popular in the music industry.” You explained, clicking on his file card.
“You know’im?” He asked. You shook your head as you scrolled through his file. 
“I met him at a convention a few years back, around this time of year actually…He seemed kinda full of himself. He has a residency now, though, kinda ironic, at Vought’s casino in Las Vegas.” You explained. Butcher nodded, clearly thinking.
“How is it ironic?” He asked.
“Mixer is part of a Supe team too, but the team is called Residency. So I thought it was kinda funny that he had an actual residency-” Butcher cut you off.
“Another Supe team? Owned by Vought?” You nodded.
“Yeah. It's him, Klepto, Bloodshot, Laugh Track, Void-” Butcher cut you off again, before you could even finish naming the members.
“The convention you met him at…Was it a Supe convention?” 
“Yeah. But not like the crazy fan ones. It's by invite only. All of Voughts Supes go, it’s a huge event. They invite new, upcoming Supes, and Vought investors. It’s a 3 day affair. They usually hold it at the Casino location that's here in the city, though, not the one in Vegas.” You turned your head to look at him, narrowing your eyes. What was he thinking?
“You said it was around this time of year?” He asked, turning the laptop towards himself so he could scroll.
“Yeah, usually towards the middle of fall…Why do you ask?” You raised a brow.
“I’m assuming you're invited?” He asked, the smirk on his face growing.
“Yeah, like I said, most contracted Supes are there. Annie is going too, we kinda have to…You’re not thinking what I think you are…right?” You asked, narrowing your eyes once again.
“That's exactly what I’m thinking, love.” He chuckled and stood up. “A whole casino full of Supes and Vought officials? That's practically an information gold mine. And with your connections? We’re bound to uncover something. Do you get a plus one or anythin like’at?”
“I’m pretty sure contracted Supes get two guest passes, but this is out of the question, Butcher. Digging at a Vought run Supe convention? It’s suicide for anyone involved.” You said, closing your computer. This wasn't a good idea, not even in the slightest.
“So if both you and Hughie’s girl go, that's four guest passes between the two of you?” He asked.
“Yes but-” Butcher cut you off before you could protest.
“Just enough passes for Hughie, MM, Frenchie, and meself. It’s settled, then, love.” Butcher gave a smug smile and patted your shoulder. You cringed internally. Butcher wouldn’t take no for an answer…and you didn’t favor the idea of being on his bad side.
 If you were caught, no, if any of you were caught snooping around at this convention? You’d be dead before you could leave the building…or worse.
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And that's the end of my exposition bomb. Again, Part 2 is coming very soon, and I'm sorry that I had to break it up like this. This series became more involved than intended, as you can probably see. More information regarding Residency and its significance is to come👀 Stay tuned to get back to your regularly scheduled Frenchie x Reader content <3 Adieu!
teeny tiny taglist: @llynx7 @stinkysam
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celiastjamesoscar · 1 year
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Cinnamon Girl
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Pairings: Sam Carpenter x fem!reader
Summary: Getting a dog wasn’t the best idea, but Sam grew to love the fur ball when she found out you were the dog’s vet.
Warnings: light cussing, extremely fluffy, and I think that’s it? Let me know if I missed any!
AN: Came from this request! I had so much fun writing this and I hope you love it!!!
If you guys want to join a Taglist, let me know!
My Masterlist
Word Count: 8.6K
It was supposed to be a quick trip to town; Sam needed some chili powder and beans to finish making her chili, and Tara wanted to tag along. Of course, Tara only wanted to go because she could probably convince Sam to get her something, and that definitely happened; it just wasn’t what Sam expected.
As the two sisters were leaving their local grocery store, there was a piece of paper stuck to the bulletin board, and as soon as Sam read it, she knew it was over for her.
“Oh my god, Sam, look!” Tara exclaimed as she walked to the board and pointed at the paper. On it was a blown-up picture of a mother dog and six puppies next to her, and underneath the photo read the words, ‘Puppies for free. Shar Pei and Malinois mix. Need all six gone, or they go to the pound. Text XXX-XXX-XXXX if you are interested.’
“Sam, we have to get one!” Tara said as she pulled out her phone and texted the number. “Absolutely not,” Sam retorted. She would not have a dog in her household that she would have to take care of inevitably.
“Why do you hate me?” Tara asked with a slight frown. She knew that if she played this card, Sam would have no option but to tell her yes. Sam stammered over her words but eventually said yes when she realized she couldn’t tell her little sister no. Tara let out a happy squeal as she texted the number, and as they left the shop and got into Sam’s car, she got a response. “They said we could stop by and look at the puppies right now if we wanted. And, of course, we want to,” Tara decided for her and her sister as she told the stranger that she was on her way. “Tara, we cannot just show up at a stranger’s house,” Sam retorted, and Tara scoffed at her words.
“We aren’t going to show up randomly; we’ve been invited. And besides, you’ve talked about getting a guard dog for a while,” Tara explained as she put in the stranger’s address and told Sam how to get there.
With a small huff, Sam listened to her sister’s directions, and the pair arrived at the stranger’s house within ten minutes. Any fear of this being a murderer’s house quickly disappeared as soon as Sam turned down a road near a golf course, and country club homes were lined up on both sides of the street. It was close to Christmas time, and every single house had Christmas lights hung up. And as the two looked at the lights, they both guessed that each house paid more for those lights and decorations than they made in a year combined. ‘It’s just October,’ Sam thought to herself as she gazed at the houses.
“Some of these houses are insane!” Tara exclaimed as her eyes followed a house with a giant statue of Jack Skellington dressed as Santa, and Sam hated to admit it; it was pretty fucking insane.
As the two drove by that house, the most beautiful and captivating woman Sam had ever seen stepped out of the house wearing scrubs, and she looked like she was in a hurry. A weird feeling shot through Sam’s chest as she drove past the beautiful woman getting in her car, and for the first time in her life, Sam wanted to ask for that lady’s number.
With a shake of her head, Sam continued her drive for another minute before she parked outside the designated house. It was one of the more expensive houses in the area, and when Tara texted the stranger about looking at the puppies, a sweet older woman came out of the front door and approached Sam’s car with a beaming smile and warm personality.
The woman introduced herself as Andrea and led the two sisters in her lavish home. “I know it sounds awful, but we must get rid of these little guys. My daughter, Y/N, lives just up the road from me, and the sweet thing is a vet. So I know she would kill me if I let one of these cute babies go to the wrong people. But you two look like lovely people,” Andrea explained as she led the sisters through her house and into the living room, where a small area had been boxed off as the mother and her pups slept together. “How old are they?” Sam asked as she looked at the puppies and felt her heart warm at the sight of the babies and their squished faces.
“Almost eight weeks; Y/N says that’s good for them to stay with their mother for that long,” Andrea replied as she opened the gate and allowed Sam and Tara to walk in. At the sound of footsteps approaching, a couple of the puppies began to stir, and one walked toward Tara and started to rub its face against the girl’s leg. “Hey, little guy,” Tara said as she squatted down and petted the puppy, “Am I allowed to pick it up?”
“Of course! Look at as many as you like; please wash your hands before you pick up the next one. Y/N’s rules,” Andrea said with a smile. Tara picked up the puppy and giggled when the dog licked her face.
The puppy was a brownish color with some shades of black and the softest ears Tara had ever felt. Along with his soft ears, he had the wrinkliest face of a Shar Pei and the stiff body of a Malinois. He had these brown beady eyes that Reminded Sam of Tara, and as she watched her sister play with the dog, she knew the two would be a handful. The dog might not be the best guard dog in the future, but at least he will keep Tara out of Sam’s hair.
After discussing it with Andrea, the two sisters adopted the dog and wrote down the advice of Y/N. “You know, I seriously think you and my daughter would get along perfectly, Sam,” Andrea stated as she walked toward Sam’s car. The mother was carrying a few bags of soft dog food and a more oversized bag for when he gets bigger, recommendations of Y/N, of course. “Oh, yeah? How come?” Sam questioned as she opened Tara’s door; her sister was carrying the puppy that had now fallen asleep in her arms and shut the door.
“I don’t know. Call it a mother’s intuition, but I know you two would get along,” Andrea replied with an all too-knowing smirk that Sam didn’t pick up on. If she played her cards right, she could finally set her daughter up with someone who wasn’t a psychotic woman who tried to murder people on occasion.
Not that your dating history was terrible; you just preferred women who might try and kill you in your sleep.
“What place does she work at? We’ll need to find him a good place,” Sam asked as she opened the back doors. “She works at Ocean Boulevard, just off of Cornelia Street,” Andrea replied as she placed the bags of dog food in the seat, and Sam closed the door.
“I’ll have to give it a try. Thank you,” Sam said with a smile as she said goodbye to Andrea, got in her car, and drove back home with a new addition to the family. As she drove away, Andrea pulled out her phone and called you, too excited to tell you about the new romantic partner she found for you. She might have been an over-the-top mom and was always trying to set you up with women, but she had a good feeling about this young lady.
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The sound of soft scratching and whimpering woke Sam up from her peaceful slumber. She groaned as she checked the time and cussed as she saw that it was a quarter past 1. “Warner, come on. We have to go to bed,” Sam heard Tara whisper outside the door, but it was too late; Sam was already getting out of bed.
“Hi,” Tara weakly said with an awkward smile as she held the puppy close to her chest. “What are you doing up?” Sam questioned as she looked between her sister and the dog.
“Warner wanted to come and visit you, and he wouldn’t stop crying until he got to see you,” Tara replied as she held the dog toward her sister. Sam winced when he yawned in her face, and the smell of puppy breath invaded her nostrils. “Well, he got to see me. Now tell him to go back to bed,” Sam commanded as she got back in bed, leaving Tara standing in her doorway.
“But he wants to sleep with you,” Tara spoke for the dog as she sat him on Sam’s bed. And sure enough, he walked toward Sam and made himself at home on the woman’s chest.
With a small huff, Sam allowed the dog to sleep on top of her while Tara climbed into her bed. “Not you, too,” Sam groaned, but Tara shushed her and quickly fell asleep.
As the minutes ticked by, thoughts of regret plagued her, but she was glad to see her sister this happy. And who knows, maybe she was about to meet the vet daughter Andrea was talking about.
Almost like a prayer, not even a week after Sam went to bed with the thought of you, she had to take Warner to the vet.
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When Sam came home from work, she only wanted to relax, drink some wine, and watch a movie or two. But all that came crashing down when she returned to a crying Tara sitting on the floor holding a more than excited Warner. “Oh my god, Sam! Thank god you’re finally home!” Tara exclaimed through tears as Warner wiggled out of her arms and came prancing toward Sam.
“What’s wrong, Tara?” Sam worriedly asked as she dropped her bag and went to Tara’s side. “Warner ate one of my Legos!” Tara shouted as she picked up the dog and placed a loving kiss on his head. Warner then tried to lick Tara and whined when she dodged it. The puppy seemed ignorant to the crying girl who feared for his life, and all he wanted to do was lick Sam and Tara.
“He seems fine,” Sam coldly replied, but when Tara gave her a death glare, Sam stood up and grabbed her back, “Alright, let’s take him to the vet then.”
The car ride to the vet was silent as Tara tried to calm down while Warner happily licked the more petite girl’s hands. It might sound stupid to most, but taking care of Warner meant that Tara could actually care for herself in her own eyes. She believed that if she kept the dog alive and gave him a long and happy life, she could also have that same life.
“I think he’s fine,” Sam stated but quickly regretted her words when Tara smacked her arm, and she swore she heard Warner do his dog version of a laugh. Sam could not wait until they got to the vet just to prove to her sister that the dog was perfectly fine.
And Sam also hoped that you would be there as well. Not that she was particularly interested in meeting Andrea’s daughter, but she wanted to see if you actually lived up to your mother’s kind words about you. And when Sam met you, she knew that Andrea was right, and then some, as the Latina could not pull her eyes away from you.
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It had been a prolonged day at the clinic today, nothing too crazy except for the occasional ‘help, my dog swallowed a mysterious item.’
“If I had a dollar for every time someone came in here because their dog swallowed something they weren’t supposed to, I would be rich!” Your coworker, Noah, exclaimed. You two have known each other for years, as you went to high school together, and both decided that you two wanted to go to veterinary school together as well. The two of you got along so well because you both never dated in the same pool of people.
“I feel your pain, but the night is still young, and I bet you that we will have another one,” you replied as you rolled over to his desk in your chair. “Are you seriously playing Solitaire right now?”
Noah scuffed at your question as he continued his game on the computer. “Yes, I am, thank you very much. And I am quite good at it; I shall have you know,” he sassed back before turning his attention away from his game and looking at you, “Your mother told me that she had found someone for you. Is it true?”
You sighed as you leaned back in your chair and threw your back. “Dude, you have no idea. She called me as soon as she met this woman. She went on this long-ass tangent about how I seriously need to give this woman a chance because ‘she had the softest brown eyes and held all the warmth I would need,’” you finished with a quote from your mother.
“She sounds like a real charmer,” Noah replied, “But seriously, how much should we trust your mother’s opinion? You remember the last girl she set you up?” At the mention of your last relationship, you shuttered. “Yeah, let’s not bring that up again. And besides, when did this turn into a ‘we’ thing?”
Noah scoffed at your words that cut him deep. “We have a bond, you and I. We shared a room on our trip to Italy because the group wanted to ‘contain the gayness’ so no one would contract it. That’s a bond that doesn’t break!” He exclaimed with a smile. “Being for real, though, You’re my best friend, and I want what’s best for you, even if that means having to butt heads with your mother from time to time.”
I know,” you said with a sigh, “I mean, at least she’s making an effort. Even if she sets me up with crazy ass women.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Noah joked as he returned to his solitaire game while you stood up. “You know, I kinda want to meet this woman. Just to prove to my mom that all the women she tries to get me with are absolutely insane,” you joked as you grabbed your telescope and put it around your neck while leaving the reception area.
Just when you started to walk into the back room to check on the animals that were staying overnight, the front door opened, and the bell rang. “Your turn to get it,” Noah stated while making no effort to check to see who was at the door.
You huffed at his words while walking toward the front door, and your breath hitched in your throat. Standing before was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, and she wore a tight, long-sleeve shirt that hugged her muscular arms perfectly. The shirt was also tight on her torso area so that you could see the faintest of an outline of her abs. And those eyes, you swore that they were the softest eyes you had ever seen, big and brown and enticing. All you wanted to do was get lost in them, but your mind was quickly pulled out of the gutter when a more petite woman stepped out from behind the alluring woman while holding a small puppy in her arms.
“My dog swallowed a Lego!” The girl exclaimed while walking closer to you, and you threw an evil glance at Noah when he chuckled at the girl’s statement. “Alright, let’s see what I can do for it. May I?” You politely asked with a smile while holding out your arms. The girl was hesitant initially, but after a slight nudge from the taller woman, she reluctantly handed you the puppy.
“Follow me,” you said while walking down the hallway and opening up a door to a room. You placed the dog on the metal table, and he automatically curled up into a ball and closed his eyes. “I’m going to need you to fill out these papers while I get the ultrasound set up and ready to go,” you stated while putting some paperwork on a clipboard with a pen and handing it to the more petite girl, as she seemed to be the one who cared about the animal the most.
While you got the ultrasound ready, you couldn’t help but feel eyes on you, and when you met them, you gave the taller woman the softest smile, and Sam felt her heart melt. When she first got here, Sam noticed your badge, and her heart did flips when she saw that it said ‘Y/N L/N,’ and Sam prayed that you were the daughter of Andrea.
“Here you go,” Tara said while handing you the clipboard, and you told her thank you as you took it from her. “‘Warner?’ That’s an odd name for a dog,” you stated as you looked over the sheets for the dog.
“Yeah, I named him after my favorite book character,” Tara replied embarrassedly as her eyes looked bashfully at the floor.
“Please tell me you did not name your dog after Aaron Warner,” you deadpanned as you stared at the girl.
A few beats of silence passed before she admitted, “Yes, I did.” You chuckled as you set the clipboard down and turned on the ultrasound machine. “I’m going to ignore what you just said,” you joked with a smile, and Sam had to fight back the feeling of jealousy that stirred in her chest.
“Okay, so I’m going to do an ultrasound on Warner’s stomach to see the location of the Lego, and then, depending on its location, I will be able to tell the best course of action. Is that alright with you?” You asked as you sat in your chair and rolled over the metal table.
“Yeah, that’s fine with me,” Tara replied as she walked over to the table and gently ran a hand down Warner, causing the dog to open his eyes and yawn.
A few minutes passed while you performed the ultrasound, and when you found the object in the puppy’s stomach, you pointed to it on the screen. “You can see the object right here. Now, he will be able to pass it just fine; giving him cooked asparagus will help him have bowel movements, and he should secrete it in a couple of days,” you explained as you turned off the machine and rubbed the dog’s head for good measure.
“Thank you so much,” Tara replied as she picked up the dog. “It’s no problem,” you replied while opening the door and motioning for the sisters to follow you to the front desk.
“Just come back in a week's time for a checkup, and I can do his routine checkup as well,” you stated while filling out a business card with your number and the clinic's address, and you handed it to Sam. When she took the card, her fingers brushed against yours, and you both felt a spark shoot through your fingertips and quickly spread throughout your bodies. Both of your heartbeats quickened and matched in rhythm, both of you too shocked to say anything for a few moments.
‘Umm… How much do I owe you?” Sam eventually asked after she put your card in her wallet. Realizing that you were still at work and needed to take money from this woman, you hated your job at that moment. “You don’t owe me anything,” you offered with a smile as you printed off the receipt for Sam.
A small laugh escaped Sam’s lips as she started to pull out her credit card, but you quickly placed your hand on the woman’s wrist, stopping her movements. “I’m serious; you don’t owe me anything. Consider this pro bono,” you said as you gave Sam’s wrist a gentle squeeze and a loving smile.
The feeling of your hand on her wrist gave Sam wartime she didn’t need, and she felt her heart rip apart when you pulled away after keeping your hand on her for a second too long. “I can’t let you do that,” Sam stated as she shook her head and handed you her card, and you accepted it only to hand it back with a smile. “Consider this a treat, and you can repay me by coming back next week for a check-up,” you reasoned.
A few moments of silence passed as you had a silent battle with Sam, but eventually, she surrendered and put her card away. “Are you sure?” Sam asked one last time; she hated having to be in people’s doubt, as it seemed that they held something over her head. But the thought of being in your doubt didn’t sound bad for some unknown reason.
“Oh yeah, I’m positive,” you responded as you followed the sisters toward the door and held it open for them. She didn’t know why, but Sam wanted to introduce herself to you. It might be because you just waived her undoubtedly costly vet bill or because she found herself attracted to you.
“Well, thank you. Seriously. I don’t know how I could ever repay you,” Sam said while sticking her hand toward you, “I’m Sam, by the way.”
‘You can repay me by letting me take you on a date,’ you helplessly thought but said, “It’s nice to meet you, Sam. I’m Y/N,” while shaking the woman’s hand.
Her rough hands felt heavenly against yours, and you could feel her strength as she tried her best to treat your hand with gentleness, something she wasn’t used to. You found yourself getting lost in her chocolate eyes, and you questioned how thieves bothered with petty art while her eyes existed; they seemed priceless to you.
An awkward throat cleared beside you, and you quickly dropped Sam’s hand while Tara looked between you and her sister. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Dr. Y/N, but me and my sister have to go,” Tara commented with an evil smirk; she could not wait to interrogate her sister about her tense exchange of names with you.
“I’ll see you next week, yeah?” You asked the girls, but in reality, you were only talking to Sam. “Of course,” Sam responded with a smile as her eyes quickly checked you from head to toe before leaving the clinic with her sister.
Once they had left the building, an arm was flung around your neck, and Noah pulled you against his body, “What did I just witness?”
“Nothing, just a friendly exchange,” you replied as you shoved Noah off you and sat at the reception desk. “Bullshit. You never offer free stuff because it will come out of your paycheck. And you and I both know that was over 500 dollars,” Noah retorted while standing over your shoulder.
“I know that.”
“Then why did you do it?”
“Because I felt like it was a nice thing to do.”
“Nuh-uh. You just saw a pretty woman and instantly fell to your knees. You disgust me,” Noah joked with a disgusted face. “Oh, like you haven’t done worse. Remember that Tinder guy? You had made me drive you an hour to where he lived so we could stalk him at work!” You exclaimed as you recalled the memory.
“That wasn’t my fault! I needed to know if I was being catfished! And I was!” Noah defended, but after a few moments, he decided to let it go; he knew he would never win an argument with you.
“Mhm, that’s what I thought,” you smugly said as you began writing down notes on Warner, and once you were done, you checked the time and stood up. “Alright, it's time for me to clock out. I’ll see you later, Noah,” you stated while grabbing your belongings and walking toward the front door.
“I’ll see you,” Noah called out with a wave of his hand while you disappeared outside.
The drive back to your apartment was a quick one and one filled with the thoughts of Sam. You knew it was stupid, but you couldn’t help but feel an undeniable attraction to the woman you had just met. Based on the details your mother had given you about the woman she told you about, you knew that this was the woman she mentioned. Those big, brown eyes and soft smile, you were head over heels for that woman. And unbeknownst to you, she is also head over heels for you as well.
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“What the fuck was that?” Tara questioned as soon as they got into Sam’s car. “Hmm? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam guiltily replied. She had hoped that her sister wouldn’t have picked up on her unmistakable fascination with you, but Tara knew Sam like the back of her scarred hand.
“Yes, you do. Why did you feel it was necessary to introduce yourself to her? You hate it when people know your name, especially strangers,” Tara challenged. She would get an answer from Sam, whether the woman wanted to admit it or not.
With a small sigh, Sam started the car and drove toward the apartment before answering, “I just felt like it was needed since she paid for the bill. Nothing else.”
“Mhmmmmm,” Tara replied as she studied her sister. She knew Sam was lying, but she wouldn’t press her for more information. Not now, at least.
Sam was grateful that Tara didn’t press on anymore, and she enjoyed the silence as she hoped she would be the one to bring Warner back to the vet. She found comfort in your soft and calloused hands, and for the first time in her life, she wanted to be held by someone. And if you had her without hurting her, you would be the first who ever did.
Sam knew it was crazy to feel this way toward someone she had just met not even an hour ago, but there was an undeniable spark that you both felt when your hands met. And she was pissed that she had to wait a week to see you again.
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That week was the slowest and most dreadful week of Sam’s life. Work sucked, and she had to work doubles almost daily, but she vowed to repay you for the vet bill. She thought about inviting you over for dinner to repay you, but she figured that you would want actual money instead of a nice, home-cooked meal where the secret ingredient was love and yearning.
Only when it was time to take Warner to the vet did she get out of bed with excitement, threw on a tank top that showed a little bit of her belly, and put on her trusty bomber jacket over it.
“Alright, Tara. I’m taking Warner to the vet,” Sam called out as she picked up the puppy and grabbed his leash. Warner started getting a little bit bigger now, but he was still small enough for Sam to hold him with one arm.
“What? I thought I was taking him?” Tara confusingly asked as she exited her room and frowned when she saw Sam heading toward the door. “And why are you so eager to take him?”
“I’m not; I just want to get this over with. And you can’t take him because you have your English paper due tonight,” Sam reasoned, even though she wanted to take Warner to see you again.
“Are you sure you don’t want to take him because you want to see the pretty vet lady again?” Tara questioned with a playful smirk and thought, ‘Got ya,’ when Sam quickly scoffed and automatically denied the accusation.
“Why would I want this little shit to the vet just to see someone? That’s absurd,” Sam denied as she grabbed her purse backpack, put it on her back, and opened the door. “But I’ll pick you up some food on my way back.”
Tara knew what that translated: don’t tell the twins, and I’ll give you some ‘hush food.’
“Sounds good! Be nice, Sam. And remember: don’t be silly, wrap your Willy,” Tara joked with a smirk while she walked back into her room and shut her door.
“I don’t need to wrap my Willy, do I, Warner?” Sam asked once she left the apartment and rubbed the dog’s chin. Warner responded with a small yelp while licking Sam’s fingers, agreeing with Sam in his way. “Come on, little guy. Let’s get you to the pretty vet lady,” Sam told Warner while walking toward her car.
She opened her door and sat him on the passenger seat, and naturally, he curled up into a ball and went to sleep. It amazed Sam how much the little shit slept; she was positive he slept at least 14 hours a day and was only awake to torment her. But Sam couldn’t say anything to Tara about it, as she believed Warner was the sweetest little guy out there. The two had that in common: both being little guys who were absolute devils when left by themselves. Sam had lost count of how many shoes he had destroyed, and she also lost count of how many fights Tara started with literal children on Roblox. It was safe to say that Sam was constantly busy between the two, and she only wanted to relax with you.
When Sam arrived at the clinic, she put Warner on his leash, held him just for a safe measure, and walked inside. “Hello, Warner is here for his check-up,” Sam said once she reached the reception desk. “Okay, Doctor Y/N is finishing up an orchiectomy, and then she’ll be right out. You two can have a seat right there while you wait,” the receptionist politely stated as she motioned to the waiting area.
Sam told the lady ‘thank you’ and sat in one of the chairs and Warner in her lap. She’d rather die than let the shit step foot on the ground for even a second, and she was grateful when he went to sleep. Several minutes passed while Sam tried to calm her mysterious nerves, and her phone vibrated, and she scoffed when she read the text message.
Tara: How’s it going with lover girl??
Sammy 👻: Waiting for her to get done chopping the nuts off a dog. Why?
Tara: Ummmm because you seemed way too eager to take Warner to the vet this morning
Sam’s phone vibrated with another message, but she didn’t get to read it when her head instantly shot up when she heard your soft, angelic voice. “Alright, make sure he keeps his cone on and doesn’t do anything too crazy,” you told an old woman who held her dog close to her chest. “Oh, I will, sweetie. Thank you so much,” the old woman replied with a voice that spoke with years of knowledge.
Sam watched as you held the door open for the woman before you turned to Sam, and when your eyes made contact, a giant smile grew on your face. “Where’s the sister?” You asked with a lovesick grin as you walked to Sam and stopped before the sitting woman. “She stayed home. Had a lot of homework to do,” Sam replied as she stood up and held Warner close to her chest. The dog started to wake up, and he whimpered with excitement when he saw you and began to squirm out of Sam’s hold to get to you.
“Hey, little guy,” you said softly as you reached out toward the dog, and Sam eagerly handed him over to you. You gave Warner scratches behind his eye, and he tried to lick your hand in ‘thank you.’ “You can follow me,” you told Sam as you began walking down a hallway and opened a door to an examining room.
Sam sat down in the corner of the room while you sat Warner on the examining table and rolled your chair over to the table. “How has he been since his last visit?” You asked as you put on gloves. “He’s been fine other than being a little shit most of the time,” Sam responded with a slight chuckle as her phone started to blow up with chain messages from Tara.
A small gasp left your lips as you pretended to be shocked, and you tried your best to ignore Sam’s phone. And your heart pinged with jealousy at the thought of someone calling Sam their girlfriend. You covered Warner’s ears and kissed his head, “Don’t listen to her. I bet you’re the sweetest thing ever.” The Latina scoffed at your words, but she enjoyed seeing how Warner loved you and the attention you gave him. She found comfort in that you could display such love for an animal and hoped that one day you could show her the same passion.
“Alright, little guy. Let’s start your exam,” you stated as you gave Warner’s head one final pat before grabbing your stethoscope and putting it in your ears. Sam’s phone continued to receive messages, and you couldn’t take it anymore, and you had to know.
“You got a boyfriend?” You asked while your eyes darted between Sam and her phone, which vibrated with text messages while you held the end of the stethoscope to Warner’s heart.
“Why? You wanna ask me out on a date?” Sam joked with a smile as she tried to hide her nervousness and turned on ‘do not disturb’ on her phone. She had no idea why you would ask her that question unless it pertained to her phone, which was being assaulted with chain messages from Tara.
“Maybe. Do you have a boyfriend?” You questioned with a flirtatious smile as your eyes scanned Sam’s muscular body, and your mind was instantly filled with the thoughts of you and her tangled in bedsheets. You moved the scope to Warner's lungs as you tried to return to reality.
“No,” Sam replied as she raised her eyebrow, trying to see what angle you were playing at.
“You never told me your last name,” you observed while listening to Warner’s breathing with your stethoscope.
“Why do you want to know my last name?” Sam asked with a nervous chuckle, hoping that you didn’t know her name from the Subreddits that accused her of the 2022 Woodsboro murders or that you didn’t read Gale Weathers’ latest book that called her a born killer and mentally unstable.
“Because I want to know what my future last name will be,” you confidently stated with a smirk as your mischievous eyes met Sam’s soft ones. You set down the stethoscope and then placed your hands on Warner’s stomach.
“Moving a bit quick, aren’t we?” The Latina pointed out after a few seconds. Tension filled the air with every second that passed, and even Warner seemed to pick up on it as his small head darted from you to Sam.
“Maybe, but U-Haul lesbians exist for a reason,” you reasoned as you palpitated Warner’s stomach, checking for abdominal pain or masses.
“I guess so. But seriously, why do you want to know?” Sam pressed on, “It’s Carpenter, by the way.”
You already knew her last name was Carpenter from the paperwork she filled out during the first visit; you just wanted to mess with her a little bit. And also find out if she had a boyfriend in the process.
“Because I would like to take you out to lunch sometime,” you said as your eyes refused to meet Sam’s. Any confidence that you had earlier disappeared when you asked the million-dollar question. “Only if you want to go, of course.”
“I would love to go to lunch with you,” Sam replied with a genuine smile, something she wasn’t used to doing. “Sweet! I’ll, um, I’ll give you my number once I finish up with him,” you embarrassingly said as your eyes met with Sam’s, and you smiled when you saw the excitement in hers.
Once you finished Warner's exam, you told Sam that everything was fine and that he should return next year for his next checkup. As you walked Sam out of the clinic, you pulled out a small notepad from your white lab coat and wrote down your number. “You don’t have to call me or anything, but I would like it if you did,” you told Sam with a smile as you ripped out the paper and handed it to her.
Sam gladly accepted the paper and put it in her jeans pocket, “I’ll text you when I get home, Y/N. It was nice to see you.”
“Yeah, likewise,” you responded as you held the front door open for Sam, and she left with Warner climbing over her shoulder and howling at you, telling you that he was going to miss you.
And true to her word, as soon as Sam stepped foot in her apartment, she set Warner down, and he automatically took off to Tara’s room while she texted you.
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The two of you talked every day, and you started to have lunch with each other every Friday. You two would talk about your week and your plans for the weekend while also talking about your personal lives. You told Sam everything about your childhood, and in turn, she started to open up more around you.
During your fourth lunch together, Sam opened up completely about her past. She was terrified that she would drive you away and ruin any chance at having a romantic relationship with you when she told you about her schizophrenia, past drug addiction, her biological father, and how she was in the most previous Ghostface attacks in Woodsboro.
“I knew about the attacks, Sam,” you told the woman once she finished speaking, and you gently reached your hand across the table and took one of hers in yours. You traced soft patterns on her hand with your thumb, “Thank you for trusting me enough to open up about them.”
Sam was dumbfounded at this news. She could not believe that you knew about the attacks but said nothing. “How come you didn’t say anything?” Sam deadpanned as her walls started to come up again, but she allowed you to still hold her hand and trace patterns on her skin.
“Because I figured it was something you would want to tell me on your own time or never talk about it,” you honestly replied, and Sam found comfort in your words as you continued, “I’m sorry if I upset you from keeping that from you. I didn’t know how you would react if you knew that I already knew about some things in your past.”
A dry chuckle escaped Sam’s lips, “I honestly probably would have ran if you would have told me.”
“Well, I’m glad I didn’t then,” you responded with a small laugh, and Sam gave your hand a gentle squeeze, grateful that you didn’t rush anything with her or try and force her to talk about her past.
Things between the two of you changed after that lunch; you two would FaceTime whenever you couldn’t see each other, and you would talk on the phone every night just before bed. The feelings you bore for Sam grew even deeper the more you spent time talking to the woman, and her feelings did the same.
Whenever the two of you didn’t have to work the next day, you would stay the night at the Carpenter apartment, and you were even invited to their game nights every Friday night. You quickly bonded with Mindy and Tara, and sometimes, when Sam was at work, they would invite you over for their horror movie night. You would engage in debates with her, and after enough conversations, you earned Mindy’s approval to date Sam, even though she would never tell you that.
Tara was a bit harder to win over, but when Warner would fight out of her grasp and make his way to you and how the little shit would lick your face as you laughed uncontrollably, she knew you were the one for her sister.
Sam was still the hardest to win over, ultimately. Yes, you were on her mind every second of every day, and she fantasized about what it would be like to wake up with you in her arms every morning and call you hers, but she was still scared of commitment. Sam wanted to love you; she needed to love you, but she was also terrified that you would hurt her in the end. And that is the reason Sam is in this current situation.
“Trust me, Sam. Women are crazy; just ask your sister. Finding the right woman is like finding a needle in a pile of needles: it’s impossibly stupid. But luckily, I have the woman of my dreams,” Mindy exclaimed with her hands, adding extra emphasis to her words while Tara nodded along. Mindy had forced Sam to sit down in the living room and lecture her on dating women, and she also had gathered the women of the group to talk to Sam and convince her to ask you out, whether Sam wanted to or not.
“Don’t try and flatter me after you called all women crazy,” Anika dryly stated. “Sorry, love. But anyway. Sam, you have found yourself a woman who is that needle in a needle stack, so you better not let her go!” Mindy shouted, and Sam shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She hated being the center of attention, especially during this current conversion. She had been with a few women before, but she had never dated one. And Sam also hated getting advice from one of the children she used to babysit.
“Alright, fine, I’ll ask her on a date,” Sam defeatedly said as she pulled out her phone and opened up her messages with you, “what the fuck are you doing?” Mindy questioned as she took Sam’s phone away from her.
“I was going to ask her on a date, just like you told me to,” Sam retorted as she reached for her phone, but Mindy held it away.
“Nope. You have to do it in person. Like a big girl.”
“That was not in the agreement. I have to ask our Y/N, and you never told me how.”
“Well, new rule: you have to do it in person!” Mindy exclaimed as Sam scoffed at the younger girl. “Mindy, we should let Sam do it however she wants. The point is that Sam will ask Y/N out, not how she will do it,” Tara reasoned. Mindy hated to admit it, but the little shit was right.
“Alright, fine,” Mindy huffed as she handed Sam her phone back, “But you better not fumble.”
“I’ll try not to,” Sam replied as she typed out her message to you, ‘Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?’ And she eagerly waited for a text message back as her nerves started to grow. Sam was on the verge of texting you and apologizing, but she saw that you had already responded.
Dog whisperer: Of course!! I was starting to wonder when you would finally ask me ;)
Sam 😮‍💨: Haha, very funny. Want to grab some dinner and come back to my place to watch a movie later today?
Dog whisperer: You don’t even have to ask! I’m free around 6
Sam 😮‍💨: Sounds good! I’ll pick you up then.
The smile on Sam’s face was comical as she texted back and forth with you while ignoring the insults being thrown at her by Mindy. She didn’t care; as long as she had you, she would deal with everything with a smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The date was excellent; you two went to a fancy restaurant, and you had to restrain yourself as Sam wore a tight, black dress that hugged her body perfectly and displayed her muscular arms. You two joked back and forth throughout the dinner, and when it was time to leave, you went to Sam’s apartment.
Sam gave you some more comfortable clothes to change into, and she did the same. You held the shirt to your nose and breathed in the comforting smell of Sam before you realized how weird that was and changed into the clothing. When you came out of the bathroom and joined Sam on the couch, the Latina lost her breath when she saw you in her clothing, and she couldn’t help but wish she could see you in her clothes all the time.
You guys watched shitty romcoms well into the night, and at some point, you fell asleep with your head in Sam’s lap. Not wanting to make you uncomfortable, Sam carefully stood up and placed a pillow underneath your head while she went to the loveseat couch and slept.
For numerous weeks, you and Sam would spend a couple of evenings a month doing that, and eventually, you worked up the courage to place a loving kiss on Sam’s check after you dropped her off at her apartment one evening.
By this time, it was well into December, and Sam was falling in love with you. You two didn’t put any labels on your relationship, but you both had feelings for each other even though neither of you said anything.
“Would you want to go ice skating with me later today?” You asked Sam as you were in her kitchen and helping her wash dishes. You had been invited over for dinner with the core four plus Anika, and while the rest of the group was in the living room watching a basketball game, you stayed in the kitchen to help Sam clean up.
“I would love to, but I have to warn you; I haven’t ice skated before,” Sam responded with a small laugh as she dried off a plate.
“That’s alright. That just means we will have more fun,” you stated with a smirk as you pulled out a dish from the sink and began rinsing it off. “Yeah, it will be so much fun when I fall on my face,” the raven-haired woman joked as she walked over to you and grabbed a plate with her left hand. A surge of boldness shot through Sam as she placed her right hand on your lower back and kept it there, silently waiting for you to push her hand off you. But when you turned to look at her with that soft smile only reserved for her and your eyes quickly glanced down at her lips, Sam moved her right hand even more, wrapped it around your hip, and pulled you close to her.
“I would love to go with you,” Sam whispered as she kissed your head. Long forgetting about the dishes, you dried your hands off and gently cupped Sam’s cheeks as your heart began to pick up its pace. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you slowly brought Sam’s face close to yours, and you could feel her breathing against your lips.
“May I kiss you?” You asked against Sam’s lips, and when you felt her nod, you slowly leaned, and you could feel the outline of her lips against yours when Mindy came stomping into the kitchen.
“Do not make out in front of my ice cream cake, you disgusting perverts!” Mindy exclaimed as you and Sam pulled apart at lightning speed. Sam awkwardly cleared her throat as she watched Mindy take a fork, shove it into the middle of the cake, pull out a ginormous slice, and put it on a plate before disappearing back into the living room, but not before sending you two a playful wink.
A few beats of silence passed before you cleared your throat, “So, about that ice skating?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On New Year’s Eve night, you took the group to go ice skating at Rockefeller Center. To say that the trip was a disaster would be an understatement. From Tara skating around like Tonya Harding and then purposely tripping small children that got in her way, to Mindy and Chad refusing to leave the guard rails while Anika tried to pry Mindy away from them.
“Come on, Sam. It’s not that bad,” you stated as you pushed off the rails and skated a few paces away from Sam before making your way back to the woman. “Shut the fuck up,” Sam whispered as her legs started to wobble. Ice skating was something she hated, and she hated you for convincing her to do it.
“Sam, I will hold you up the entire time, I promise,” you declared as you stood in front of her and placed your hands on her hips, “Just do one lap with me and we can call it quits.”
“I fucking hate you, you know that?” Sam whispered but she allowed you to guide her away from the rails. “I know you do,” you replied with a gentle smile as you skated backward while facing Sam. You had never skated backward before, but you would do anything for Sam, and your smile grew even larger when the woman placed her hands on your shoulder and pulled herself closer to you.
The first lap went like a breeze, and Sam was starting to get the hang out of it. She even felt confident enough to have you skate beside her and you two held hands as you went around another lap. You were getting ready to ask Sam to be your girlfriend when she hit a small bump on the ice and started to fall.
“I got you,” you stated as you gripped her forearms and pulled her back to her feet and steadied her. When Sam was finally stable on her feet, she felt her heart burst as she looked at your love struck eyes and hearty smile. “Thank you,” was all she managed to mutter before large shouting echoed throughout the area.
“Ten! Nine! Eight!”
You and Sam looked around and you saw that the ball was about to drop, and you pulled Sam closer to you. Sam smiled as she realized that she might have her first New Year’s kiss with someone she wanted forever and she refused to give that opportunity up.
“Am I allowed to kiss you?” Sam asked as she got closer to you. “You don’t have to ask,” you replied while Sam cupped your cheeks and you gripped her waist and pulled her body against yours.
“Three! Two! One!”
When the crowd reached one and the ball dropped, you sealed the New Year with a kiss from your Sammy. And that kiss contained the promise of years to come.
“Alright now. Break it up you two,” Tara joked as she skated over to you and you placed a quick kiss on Sam’s lips before pulling away. “Is everyone ready to go?” You asked with cheeks that were crimson red as Sam dropped her hands from them and you let go of her waist.
“Yeah, I think so,” Tara responded and you left the area with the group. You and Sam allowed the rest to walk a few paces in front of you, giving you two some privacy to talk. “So,” you said while lacing your fingers with Sam’s and pulling her into your side, “Would you like to officially be my girlfriend?”
Sam squeezed your hand three times and kissed your lips before responding, “I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day.”
Sam tried to push you out and keep you at arm’s length, but you just found your way back in. There were so many things she wanted to say to you, like that you were the first person to hold her without me, but Sam waited until later that night to show you just how much you meant to her.
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weirdsht · 3 months
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HAHAHAHA imagine Cale with someone weaker than him + a troublemaker and oftentimes think crazier than him, but they're useful so that's what tied them together with the gang💀 bro might feel the stress his hyungs felt whenever he throws himself into danger lol and would start reflecting. Have u done this b4? :D
Is This My Karma? - Cale/Reader
notes: anon... did you take a look inside my mind? or maybe my docs? because the series i'm going to publish later has a similar prompt. i was gonna make it a surprise but since the cat is out of the bag imma announce it here lol. i'll be making a cale/reader slowburn series or at least try but while waiting for that you guys enjoy this small drabble from anon's ask first
tags: fluff, sickfic, reader is an idiot, cale is also an idiot, idiots in love basically, choi han is in charge of their single braincell, established relationship
English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors
Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission
Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome
Requests are open and welcome
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“For the last time, you will not pass your cold to the White Star. How are you even going to achieve that? Also what merit would it bring if that punk catches your sickness?”
Cale glanced over at the sick person in his bed speaking nonsense. Well, it’s not completely nonsense as it was possible.
…If that said person wasn’t on the verge of dying because of a fever.
“We both cough know it’s cough possible. Plus you’re not looking at the bigger picture of cough White Star getting a fever.”
“No you’re just thinking irrationally-”
“Ah ah, I’m still cough speaking. Let the cough sick cough speak.”
“...I think the sick should shut the hell up and sleep.”
The person who is Cale’s significant other only glared at the commander before drinking the water Choi Han handed to them. When arguments like this first happened the swordmaster would interject to create peace.
But that was before he learned just how unhinge this person was.
_____, Cale’s headache and significant other, was a naturally weak person. Even weaker than Cale without ancient powers. However, despite their physical prowess being on the weaker side they have a very useful ancient power.
They have a wood attribute power that can conjure flowers, grass, and trees with either poison or healing powers. Its downside is that the abilities do not work on _____. However, they can make flowers that can spread whatever sickness they have at the moment.
“We all know you just need to fling me at cough a good distance near Mr. Steal-My-Cale’s-Looks and I can pass him my cold with the flowers. Easy peasy Ron’s lemon squeezy.”
Cale remembers _____’s explanation being that the flowers' pollen would contain the same bacteria and virus as their body. Or something along those lines.
“...”
“Hear me cough out, okay? Imagine this, White Star with his plate on the verge of breaking, coughing out so much blood, armless in every sense of the cough as well. Imagine a cough nasty fever and cough combo on top of that.”
“...”
_____ looked at the silent Cale expectantly.
“Sometimes I really wonder why I got together with a punk like you”
“But you love me!”
Sigh
Cale couldn’t refute so he just sighed.
At first, he let _____ join their group because they were useful. Not only is their ability useful but they are also intelligent. They have the see the faults in Cale’s plan and think of a counter-measure. They can also conjure up great plans.
Well, most of the time at least.
Other times look like this…
“No, we are not doing your absurd plan. Just go to sleep and get better, I’ll take care of things.”
Cale kissed the top of _____’s head.
“And don’t even try to think of sneaking out like you did last time. Alberu and Tasha almost had a heart attack.”
The previously smiling _____ because of Cale’s kiss was now pouting because of the reminder. 
Meanwhile, Cale let them be as he went out of their bedroom.
He let out another sigh as he did. Behind him was Choi Han struggling to suppress a smile, wait no a laugh.
“What’s up with you?”
“No, it’s just that Cale-nim you and _____-nim are really similar.”
Choi Han added after seeing Cale glare at him.
“Sometimes that’s how your plans look to us.”
“Haaa”
Cale couldn’t help but notice how his acting like his sworn brother right now.
‘Is this how the crown prince feels about me?’
Not just the crown prince but everyone else as well.
‘Was this why team leader-nim and Choi Jung Soo insisted that I should farm with them even after retirement?’
There was no way, right?
‘There’s no way me and _____ are similar. I’m not self-sacrificial like that. I always make sure that I will live.’
Right?
Looks like he finally got all my warnings.
Cale ignored Super Rock’s voice.
But still, he can’t deny that he caused his group some headaches.
“...I will reflect on myself.”
Choi Han only nodded and smiled at the dazed young master.
Meanwhile, Cale’s mind is a bit chaotic right now.
‘Did my karma come in the form of my significant other?’
There’s no way that’s the case… right?
Right???
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five-bi-five-mind · 7 months
Text
Instead
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!reader
Genre: Angst-ish, Hurt & Comfort, Smut
Words: 9.4k+
Summary: JJ had been in love with you from the very moment she met you. The only problem is, you've been with someone else this whole time. Not only that, but he treats you like shit and you keep running back to him. Is there more to it than she knows or do you truly love him the way she wished you loved her?
Warnings: Mentions of stalking, cheating, and unhealthy relationships. Smut, fingering (r receiving), marking (r receiving), top!JJ, bottom!r, smut with a lot of feelings okay
A/N: I was really into this concept and then I really wasn't... but it's finished and now I can move on to other fics. Hope y'all enjoy it though!
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(gif not mine, credit to greencways)
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This happened way too often, but JJ was there every single time. She knew the signs, knew what was going on. You didn’t have to say a word and she would immediately understand what was going on with you. It was the look in your eyes, even when you smiled. Those eyes always said the opposite of whatever you tried to tell her. Or even what you tried to tell yourself. 
He was always bad for you, from the moment JJ met him, she knew he wasn’t ever going to be what you deserved. And, boy, was she completely right. She lost count of the amount of times she would catch you bawling your eyes out over something stupid he said or did. You’d often try to appear unbothered, but the minute she would approach you and ask if you were okay, you’d utterly fall apart. And every single time, she would open her arms for you to fall into. She would stroke your hair and wipe your tears and tell you all about how he’s not good enough for you and that you deserve someone who would never treat you nearly as bad as he did. There was always the silent sentence she never said, though. The one that ends with something along the lines of someone like me or I would never treat you that way. But she always held her tongue, feeling selfish everytime she was tempted to say it.
Without fail, whenever there was a fight, your horrible boyfriend would come back with some excuse, some way of apologizing, and you’d rip yourself from her arms and fall right back into his. Not that you even knew that JJ wanted you to stay in her arms, but it still hurt like hell every single time. She tried to tell herself for a while that it hurt so much because she knew he would hurt you so much. You were her closest friend, so of course it was just that she cared deeply for you like a friend should. Right? That lie only lasted so long. A year went by and she was stuck with this horrible crushing feeling in her chest. Finally, JJ couldn’t deny it at all anymore. It was incredibly obvious to everyone except for you, it seemed, that she was completely in love with you. 
So then she went through these phases each time you took him back. It would start with the painful feeling of rejection, even if you were completely unaware that you were rejecting her. Then she would get angry. Go, be in love, JJ would think, I don’t care. But that was a complete lie, because she would remember all the times you’d smile at her. Really smile. A smile she swore you’d never give that man. She saw the two of you together, she saw the forced smile you gave him in the rare moments he’d hold your hand, kiss your cheek, and be a semi-decent partner. It’s what confused her the most about this situation. It also, unfortunately, gave her this false sense of hope that maybe you didn’t feel the way you said you felt. 
But then again, why did you fall apart every time he left? Why did you run back into his arms every time he came back? JJ found herself laying awake in bed at night way too often, just mulling over these questions for hours. She didn’t get her answer, but this time… This time was the last straw. 
She knew what was going on within seconds of seeing your face. It was the way your eyes were just slightly puffy and how you’d let out a small sigh before throwing on a forced smile. To your credit, you were really good at selling that smile, but JJ just knew. You walked around the office, your eyes never really focusing on any one thing. Your mind was obviously elsewhere than whatever task was at hand. The team didn’t seem to pay much mind, too busy closing up a case, while you did your own duties alone in your little corner of the BAU. JJ knew exactly what all of this meant and she felt herself get angry this time. It was a new feeling for her; a break in the routine. She usually was just concerned for you and angry at him, but this time it was just the whole situation. 
So, when she got you alone in her office, the back and forth was a little different. It started out the same, though. You did that avoidance thing. The thing where you gave her a pained smile and swore up and down you were fine, while she pursed her lips and crossed her arms. JJ wasn’t buying it at all. She never did.
“Really,” you sighed, “I don’t want to get into it.” 
“Of course you don’t.” JJ rolled her eyes and your own widened. She had never been even remotely snappy with you. “Because it's probably the same shit it always is. God,” she scoffed, “Why do you let him jerk you around like this?” 
You stood there, your eyes filled with disbelief, and you both just stared. If JJ were being honest, she wasn’t proud of that. She was a little shocked all of it came out of her mouth and even more shocked at how harsh her tone was. 
“You don’t get it.” Your tone wasn’t exactly harsh like JJ’s, but she could tell she struck a nerve. 
“What’s there to get?” JJ threw her hands up, obviously letting her frustration boil over. She got this far, might as well keep pushing. Did JJ think it was a good idea? No, maybe not, but she wanted you to finally get a grip on the reality of this relationship. It was clearly not good for you. “He’s not reliable. He doesn't consider your feelings. He clearly hurts you every single time he goes off and fucks up. And god, he has fucked up so often.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Your tone was a warning. “You don’t know everything.” 
“What then?” JJ knew she was pressing. She knew she was pissing you off, but frankly she didn’t care. She couldn’t watch you fall apart again only to go back to the very person who kept mistreating you. She couldn’t handle you choosing him again instead of her. “Jesus, what is his hold on you? Why do you let him treat you like shit? You run back to him every damn time too! It’s— fuck, it’s ridiculous! Why don’t you have more self worth when it comes to him?” 
You definitely did not look pleased right now. Your face was twisted into a tight lipped frown and JJ didn’t think she’s ever seen you look at her like that. Her eyes flicked down to your hands and saw the way they were balled into fists, before looking back up, finally into your eyes. That’s when the anger fled her body and was immediately placed with crushing guilt. Your face told her you were pissed, but your eyes… Always those god damn eyes of yours. They were so expressive and JJ could read them better than anyone. She saw, hidden behind this anger, the pain and, to her confusion, the fear. 
An uncomfortable tension filled the room and finally you took a slow, deep breath. Your eyes closed for a minute and JJ noticed the way your hands squeezed for a second before you relaxed them. When your eyes reopened and met hers, she realized you were trying to calm yourself down. It was like you had that routine down, like it was a factory reset of your own emotions, and she wondered how often you had to do that. Her gut twisted when she realized you needed to because of her. 
“I said I was fine,” you said in the most monotone voice. “So, if you don’t need anything else, I have files I need to get back to.” 
JJ’s jaw clenched as she realized that you, for the first time, were shutting down in front of her— because of her. She gave a short nod and turned her eyes to the floor as you walked right out of her office. 
Fuck, she thought. JJ had fucked up with you. She pushed when you warned her not to and now she has some apologizing to do. Then again, she still was curious about the look in your eyes. What exactly weren’t you telling her? You said she didn’t know everything, so what else was there? Something told JJ whatever it was would just make her even more angry about this whole situation. 
———————————-
This might look bad. That’s what JJ was worried about as she stood in front of your door with a bag full of takeout boxes of your favorite foods. It might look like she was pushing, and she absolutely was. That was her goal anyways. She needed to know whatever it was you weren’t telling her. 
It took a couple of minutes of pacing in front of your door before she finally took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and knocked. Her grip tightened on the bag of food, and she took a few more slow breathes as she waited for you to answer.
Thank god you lived alone. For whatever reason the two of you had never moved in together and as far as she knew, you had no intentions of doing that. That was something at least. That you understood a little that if he treated you so badly when you spent time together, living with him 24/7 would make your situation even worse. 
JJ’s foot tapped on the ground as she waited outside your apartment. She couldn’t hear if you were coming to the door or not, but she knew you were home. When you finally did rip the door open, there was absolutely no surprise in your eyes when you saw that it was her on the other side. Was she really that predictable? JJ fully understood that to everyone else who knew about her feelings for you, it looked like she was some lovesick puppy, following you around until you finally opened your eyes. The fact that you weren’t surprised she was standing at your door stung a little. 
“I came bearing gifts.” JJ held up the bag of food. “And to apologize. Can I come in?”
You didn’t reply, but you didn’t have to. All you did was step out of the way so she could enter and she knew all was forgiven. 
JJ knew your apartment well at this point. There were too many nights she spent just sitting next to you in your living room, sleeping next to you on your bed, taking in everything about your space that felt very you. Of course, all of this time she spent there with you, you were none the wiser about the fact that it made her heart go crazy. How could you know that sharing a bed made her ache to reach out for you? Or know that spending so much time in your personal space felt almost like a domestic bliss JJ so badly wanted to share with you? You had no idea and it tugged at her heart in the most uncomfortable way each time. 
She knew your apartment so well that, as she walked into the kitchen, she didn’t even wait for you to get anything. JJ already started rummaging through your cabinets for plates and your drawers for silverware, knowing exactly where to find them. You just stood back and watched as JJ plated the food, never saying a word. Not a lot of things unsettled JJ, but your silence was always one of them. When you were silent, it meant you were really hurting or stressed. She could imagine, right now you might be feeling both or— she thought back to that look of fear in your eyes— perhaps it meant something worse? Was your mind preoccupied with something scaring you? 
“So…” JJ broke the silence herself, handing you the plate as she spoke. “I stopped by that place you like on 4th street.”
“Thanks,” you mumbled, taking the plate and turning to go to your couch. She followed after you. You owned a dining table. Granted, it was small, but plenty of room for you two and all the food JJ over-ordered. But JJ liked to think you chose to sit on the couch and eat there because of how close you two could be. Hopeful thinking again, she realized that, but damn… she had it bad. 
“Listen,” JJ started as she sat down next to you. “I’m sorry about my outburst today.” She paused for a moment, reading your face. Your expression was neutral, but she knew you were listening and receptive. You were always so kind, too kind for your boyfriend, so she wasn’t worried you would be angry for long. “I just hate seeing when you hurt. And I worry that you’re not okay… That something is really bothering you.”
“I’m fine,” you said in a very unconvincing tone as you absentmindedly pushed your food around on the plate. 
“You say that but…” JJ trailed off and didn’t continue that thought when she saw the warning glance you gave her. She dropped it for a moment, but she was going to bring it back up. Just not yet. 
As you both ate, conversation turned to unimportant things. It was obvious that you were both avoiding the pressing subject— your shitty boyfriend. Or maybe ex-boyfriend if JJ was lucky this time. When you two were done JJ took both your plates without waiting for you to get up and made her way to the kitchen. She was entirely too aware of the way your eyes stayed glued to her as she washed the dishes, dried them, and put them back in their rightful place.
You would do that sometimes. Just stare at her when you thought she wasn’t looking or wasn’t aware. But she always knew. JJ was always aware of you, even if you weren’t aware of her. It was like she had finely tuned herself to notice every little thing about you, whether she meant to or not. She just had to be and at first she didn’t understand why. Then, when she realized it was because she was in love with you, it all made sense. It was blatantly obvious that the man you kept running back to wasn’t taking care of you in the slightest, so JJ did it instead. Deep down, she hoped you would notice; hoped you would understand that she would treat you better than he ever would. But it’s been a year of her pining and your constant heartbreak and still things between you and JJ haven’t changed. 
When she was done with everything she sat down next to you again and, to her relief, you scooted closer. Her eyes studied you and she wondered if now was the time to press again. However, this time she was going to be more gentle. 
“Listen,” she started. “I know it’s a touchy subject, but I really want to talk about-”
“Can we just not please?” Your eyes left hers and she watched the way your body shifted uncomfortably on the couch. At least you didn’t scoot away from her. That was one small relief for JJ. 
“I think we need to.” JJ was trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible this time. Patience, she must have patience with you. Clearly, there were some details she was unaware of. You hinted at as much, anyway. “I just don’t understand why this keeps happening. You do know you deserve far better than him right? That you don’t deserve all the pain he puts you through.”
You nodded slowly, your shoulders slumping as your eyes fell to your fidgeting hands. It was absolutely clear in that moment, to JJ, that you did know you deserved better. A spark of irritation filled her chest, but she tried to take a couple of deep breaths. She didn’t know the full story, she was trying to convince herself that maybe what you said next would be a good reason for why you still stayed.
“It’s complicated, JJ,” you breathed a shaky sigh. “I know he treats me like crap, but there’s a reason I stay. He takes care of me…” 
“Are you sure about that?” JJ’s jaw clenched as she thought of all the times he’d fuck up. “Because it looks like he could care less about your feelings or your wellbeing for that matter.”
“No.”  You shook your head hard. “No, not in that way. It’s…” Your eyes closed tightly and you took another deep breath. It was at that moment that something clicked for JJ. It was a face you made every once in a while when you brought your boyfriend around and he said something stupid. It was a look of shame that had washed over you and whatever irritation JJ had felt a moment ago was replaced with a feeling of worry. “It’s that with him around I feel… protected, I guess.”
“Protected?” JJ’s brows furrowed as she tried to understand. You worked at the BAU, so of course you saw some scary stuff. You weren’t one of the members who would go out in the field, sure, which meant you didn’t have all the training of an agent, but you had the basics. She didn’t think even for a second you’d be afraid of anything coming back on you from the job. It wasn’t like your face was even known to anyone involved in any one of the cases. 
“Not– It’s not from the job,” you quickly corrected, reading exactly where JJ’s confusion was coming from. “I had this boyfriend back in undergrad. Things didn’t exactly end the way he wanted it to.”
JJ felt like her stomach was dropping as she watched you fidget even more. She knew, whatever you were about to say would tie everything together for her, but it still made her feel sick. The idea of you being scared of anyone made her feel unimaginably uncomfortable for you. 
“Ever since, he’s just kind of been around,” you shut your eyes tight for a moment before continuing. “I could move and then, somehow, I’d just bump into him. He would always be there when I met someone new. He just– He hovers. He’s never hurt me, but then again I don’t ever want to let my guard down.” 
“So with your boyfriend then…?” She was still trying to put the pieces together of where your current boyfriend fit in. It didn’t quite make sense that you would leave one shitty guy and then find another.
“My boyfriend scares him. It wasn’t always bad between us, not at the very beginning. He was protective and I felt safe. There was this one time when he caught on that we were being followed– He made this big show of how protective he was. Ever since then, I’ve felt a little less like I need to keep looking over my shoulder.” 
JJ was nodding patiently as you explained. Suddenly, she understood just about everything. It wasn’t that you were so heartbroken that he was treating you so badly, that he would cheat on you, that he would disregard your feelings, it was that he provided something important for you. Something that helped you just exist without having to be terrified all the time. It made sense now to JJ. She knew how important it was to feel safe, to feel protected. It broke her heart that you thought you needed to put up with poor treatment just to be safe. Didn’t you know she could protect you so much better than your boyfriend ever could?
“Why are you just telling me this now?” JJ’s voice was gentle, barely a whisper. She felt like if she were to push anymore you’d break in front of her. 
“I don’t know, I was ashamed. Maybe? But I know you’re tired of seeing me go through the same routine with him. He always does this thing where he’ll run off with someone else and I’ll be scared, but it’s not– I’m not scared of losing him, just of being alone. I was so tired of looking over my shoulder, but when he showed up it was better… He always comes back though. Always.” 
It was like you were trying to convince yourself of that fact. The way you gulped right after you said that, your eyes looking anywhere but at JJ. You knew she could read you, that she could tell when you had doubts or were lying. JJ wondered if you really thought he would come back this time? She knew it might be selfish, after all the things you just told her, but she hoped he never would come back. If he made a show of protecting you to your stalker, then she could make a better one if she needed to.
“And if he doesn’t?” JJ knew this question was going to be a hard one for you to answer, but she needed you to see that he wasn’t the answer to your problem.
“He will.” You said that almost as if it were a bad thing. Or maybe JJ was reading into it.
“You don’t need him to,” JJ urged. Okay, so now maybe she was being a bit more selfish, but she also wanted you to know that even if he didn’t come back you’d be safe. JJ would protect you with her life, she thought you understood that already. Even if you didn’t know what feelings she had for you exactly, she thought you knew how important you were to her in general. “You don’t need his protection.”
You let out a bitter chuckle at that and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, okay,” you snorted. “JJ, I’m not a field agent like you. It’s not that easy for me to protect myself when I’ve only got the bare basics of self-defense down. By the time I have more skill in that, my ex will have already made an appearance or worse.”
“That’s not what I meant.” JJ was trying to give you the most determined look she could give you and you looked back at her, clearly confused. 
Realization dawned on you as you understood what she was implying. “I can’t expect you to always be there.”
“I would.” She didn’t miss a beat. Her tone was almost pleading. “I’d protect you and– I don’t know, I can teach you to protect yourself in the meantime. Just–” She was getting desperate as she watched the way you shook your head in protest with every word she said. “Please, just let me. Please.” 
“JJ, shh,” you cooed, your arms suddenly coming up to pull her into an embrace. For a moment, JJ felt pathetic. It was her job right now to console you, but here you were holding her and trying to calm her. She didn’t realize how upset she was about this whole situation. She hated that you were allowing yourself to be mistreated just so you could have some sense of protection from another bad relationship of your past. She hated that you felt scared at all, she never wanted you to feel that way. More than anything, she hated that you didn’t think she would protect you, that you even needed your horrible boyfriend in the first place, when she was right here practically screaming choose me, pick me! 
“I’ll be okay,” you murmured, your hand running up and down her back in a way to comfort her. Only, instead it made her heart race. Her arms wrapped around you now, holding you close for a moment. “You don’t need to take this on, okay? I can handle this.”
It wasn’t like that for JJ. It wasn’t a burden for her to take on, it was something she’d do for the rest of her life happily if you let her. It was something that she already was doing, even if you weren’t aware of it. Whether you felt the same as her or not, she would protect you with her life for as long as you would have her around. She had to make you understand that.
So she pulled back a little from the embrace. “It doesn’t have to be like this,” she whispered as her eyes searched yours. You looked back at her with a soft, wistful gaze, but you let her continue. “Let me be here for you instead…” She trailed off and started to lean in. It was now or never, and her eyes closed just as yours widened. But still, you didn’t move, you didn’t pull away, clearly knowing exactly what JJ’s intentions were. Instead, you held perfectly still until finally, for the first time, JJ’s lips met yours.
The kiss was gentle and earth shattering all at the same time. JJ was scared you’d pull away, but you didn’t. Instead, your lips parted for a brief moment, a slow exhale fell from your lips onto hers and she shuttered. She expected you to pull back, but instead you waited and she kissed you again. When she kissed you this time, you instantly melted into her. It was like every nerve ending in JJ had finally woken up. The moment she had waited for so long was happening and it was better than she ever imagined it to be. 
Her hands tightened around your waist and the small sound you let out, as you were pressed closer to her chest, made her heart skip a beat. Your hands were holding onto her for dear life. She could feel a slight tremble from your body, but when she thought she should pull away, you kissed her harder. 
One of JJ’s hands left your waist, only to reach up and cup your cheek. You had never been kissed so lovingly, so deeply in your entire life. JJ, on her part, was trying to pour every ounce of love she’s ever had for you into the way she was kissing you. It was intoxicating for both of you. For a moment, everything melted away. There was no tension between you two, there was no shitty boyfriend that JJ was desperate to get you away from, there were no unspoken feelings that plagued JJ’s mind every waking minute. There was only you and her and this moment. A moment that meant everything to JJ. 
But it was fleeting. Maybe JJ had pushed it a little too much. One second she was brushing her tongue lightly along your bottom lip, a small gasp escaping from you as she did. The next, you were pushing her back and she was blinking at you in confusion over the abrupt change. 
“What are you doing?” You said breathlessly. Your eyes were shining and JJ realized they were rimmed with tears that had yet to fall. JJ was kicking herself. Obviously, she had rushed this way too much. 
“I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have–” 
“I don’t need you to do this, JJ,” you interrupted. “You don’t have to. Just because I’m scared of being alone doesn’t mean– you don’t have to make this sacrifice just so I can feel safe.”
“What?” JJ was trying as hard as she could to understand what you meant. Sacrifice what? Her own safety? Surely, that couldn’t be what you meant. JJ’s own job put her safety at risk constantly, so you had to understand that she wasn’t worried about that when it came to being with you. She would be safe and she’d keep you safe, it wasn’t a problem. So what were you talking about?
“I don’t want you to think you have to be with me in order to fix all my problems. That’s not fair to you. Or to us.” You were squeezing your eyes shut so tight as you spoke and JJ realized the hands still pressed to her shoulders were trembling even harder now. 
“I don’t think that,” JJ put her hands over yours, trying to calm you. She was starting to understand now and her heart ached for you yet again. Of course, you’re so used to being treated badly that you didn’t even realize how genuine JJ was trying to be. “Just…” she let go of one of your hands to brush away a tear that had fallen down your cheek, “be with me instead.”
“Oh.” That was all you said. Things were clicking for you now too. The word instead rang through your ears and suddenly it all made sense. “Oh,” you repeated, this time with more shock in your voice. JJ was putting it all out there for you now and nerves were getting the best of her. But what would it look like if she backed out now? If she couldn’t handle the fear of being vulnerable in front of you, how could she show you that she could protect you from the things you feared most? 
“JJ,” your voice was barely above a whisper, “Have you always had feelings for me?”
She swallowed hard. It was a question she knew was coming, but still, that didn’t make this moment any easier. If she was going to put herself out there, then she might as well bare it all. Yet, words escaped her. Her heart pounded in her chest so loud, she could hear its beat ringing through her ears. All she could manage was a nod. 
You sat back a little and it looked like you got the wind kicked out of you. It was very clear to JJ now that you really had absolutely no clue about how she felt. In all fairness, that wasn’t a surprise for JJ. She was probably a little too good at keeping a poker face around you, even if she didn’t mean to. Although, with you, for so long she was terrified of you finding her out and losing you all together. She warred with herself for so long on telling you about her feelings, but the idea of ruining your friendship and losing you forever felt worse than never having you in the way that she wanted. But here it all was, out in the open. 
“For how long?” Your question wasn’t harsh, just genuinely confused. 
“I don’t know,” JJ admitted. “Maybe they’ve always been here. It took me a while to realize it, but then you…” She didn’t need to continue for you to understand. There was always your boyfriend, so JJ thought there was never a good time. It was your turn for your heart to break for her. All the instances where you’d question her actions, her looks that she shot your way, all of it hit you. The realization was shocking in some ways, but made complete sense in others. And, for the first time, you realized just how much it pained her to watch you stay with someone who treated you with very little disregard. You thought back now to all the times you had run back into his arms and all the times she was just forced to watch. The hurt that must’ve caused her, you couldn’t even begin to imagine. 
“I had no idea,” you mumbled. But then again, maybe you did? In the entire time you knew her, she had one relationship. It was a relationship she was already in when the two of you met, and it lasted maybe three or four months after you’d gotten to know each other. When it ended, JJ didn’t say much about why, just that it was for the best. Now you understood; it was because of you. “Or… I think I didn’t. I– I don’t really know either.”
JJ’s eyes stayed on you. She could tell you were going in circles in your own mind, trying to better understand this new development. Guilt was washing over her as she realized she’d put something complicated onto you, on top of all the other complicated factors you had just told her you were juggling. The kiss was a mistake. JJ knew the timing was horrible, but would she take it back? Absolutely not. Not even when you were looking at her in a way that told her she was about to get her heart ripped out. Her whole body tensed as she waited for the rejection she thought was coming, but still you just… sat there and stared. 
You kept opening your mouth for a second, seeming like you had something to say, but then backing out a moment later. JJ knew whatever you were going to say wasn’t going to be easy for either of you, but she also knew you definitely had something you wanted to get out. She didn’t say anything in response to you, she just kept waiting for you to resume talking. Part of her hoped that whatever you said, it would be a good thing. Another part of her, a bigger part, worried that you were struggling so much because you were trying to tell her she made you uncomfortable and you didn’t quite know how to best reject her. Little did you know, it didn’t matter how hard you were going to reject her. JJ was going to stay by your side. Now more than ever, she understood how important that was for you. 
Still, the silence was getting deafening for JJ. You stopped trying to talk and just looked down at your lap. JJ was about to finally break it when you did eventually decide to look back up at her.
“I think,” you began, “Maybe, I need a little time to wrap my head around this.”
JJ nodded hard, her heart thudding in her chest. It wasn’t what she expected you to say. It wasn’t even necessarily a good thing, but it wasn’t a rejection. She’d settle for that. “Of course,” she rapidly replied. “I know, it’s a lot. Today was a lot.” She stood up for a moment, anxiously looking around the room, trying to figure out her next move. “I’ll– I can give you space for the night. I should– Yeah, I should go.”
When your shining eyes looked up at her, it was like JJ’s world stood still. You had such sadness in them, such exhaustion. It was hard for her to see when she knew she caused even the smallest portion of it. You didn’t deserve everything you were dealing with. And to deal with it in silence for so long? It crushed her that you were just telling her all of this now.  
You didn’t say anything for a moment as you stared up at her. Your head nodded the slightest bit, but JJ saw it. “Just for tonight,” you said in the smallest voice. JJ gave you a pained smile, one that she hoped would read to you that she understood completely. 
JJ did as she said and found herself back home in her empty apartment before she could even realize how she managed to get there. The minute she stepped out of your place, all throughout the drive, and even as she laid in bed there was only one thing on her mind. Would things be different if she had known sooner?
She fell asleep with what if scenarios running through her head. Ideas of the two of you being happy somewhere far away from anything you feared. Far away from the shitty boyfriend you thought you had to be stuck with. 
———————————-
JJ wanted to give you all the space she could possibly give you, but it wasn’t that easy. Now that she knew what she knew, it was hard for her to take her eyes off you for even a second. Not that it wasn’t already hard for her to do so without the information she now had, but now there was an extra layer to it. She felt more protective than ever, but she also knew you needed some space from her to process. So, she was constantly internally debating with herself.
You had told her you wanted space just for the night, but then you didn’t really talk to her the next day or the next or even the rest of the week after that. She kept her eye on you still, even if your eyes would never meet hers or you’d shift and squirm when she was near. It was killing her inside. A lot sooner than was probably healthy, a horrible thought popped into JJ’s head that had her spiraling. What if she had messed everything up? What if she ruined her friendship with you because she brought up her feelings?
The kiss kept replaying in JJ’s mind though, and she swore up and down that you kissed her back that night. Yes, you were the one to pull away, but before then, it felt like everything JJ was trying to give, you wanted to reciprocate. Maybe that was just all in JJ’s head, but she really didn’t think so. Then again, maybe she shouldn’t have kissed you at all. Maybe in her mind, everything seemed so different than it actually was. She just kept going on and on spiraling further into this thought process with each passing minute that she hadn’t heard from you.
Finally, after over a week of work, JJ had a day off coming up. Nothing had changed between you and her, you were still very much avoiding her. It was exhausting JJ, how worried she was about your wellbeing, how worried she was about the state of your friendship with her, how  worried in general she was about all of it. JJ didn’t even have a minute to really sit down and take in the fact that it was also hurting her, knowing that she was probably rejected by you and her wishful thinking was just that– wishful thinking. But now she has a day off. A day to process. JJ didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing for her. For one, she got space away from seeing how uncomfortable you were, but then she couldn’t keep an eye on you to make sure you were safe. On the other hand, she could actually sit and think about how she was feeling and how to approach the silence you were giving her. However, she knew the minute she really started to think about it her heart would ache. JJ liked to think she was strong, but even she had her limits. 
So how did she spend her day off then? By wallowing in her apartment and nursing her expected heartbreak ahead of time. At one point she did get dressed to go work out, but she never made it out of her apartment. She just stayed in her clean gym clothes and sat back on the couch, the idea of possibly running into you in the gym (even if she knew you’d probably be busy elsewhere) was too much of a risk. 
When evening came and she finished checking her texts, missed calls, emails, and everything else you might message her on, she decided maybe she should get food. Before she even decided what she wanted to get delivered— there was still no way she was leaving her apartment at this point —she heard a knock on her door. Her eyebrows furrowed, there was no package she was expecting, no conversation with anyone else about coming over, nothing that warranted this knock. 
With an exasperated sigh, she hoisted herself off the couch to go see who it was. It hadn’t been that long since the first knock that she heard another, more frantic tapping at her door. She huffed again, frustrated that whoever was on the other end was both impatient and interrupted her night of self loathing. A third knock came and she was getting a little pissed at this point.
Usually, being an agent at the BAU, she has a strict habit of checking the peephole before swinging a door open to an unexpected guest. But JJ hadn’t really been thinking clearly lately, so why start now when she could tell off the irritating person on the other side? Except, when she swung open the door she utterly froze.
She didn’t expect you to show up tonight, not when you had been actively avoiding her for days. Not to mention, you had never really needed to knock on her door. You had a key and both of you had a habit of just waltzing into each other’s places. So, you were definitely her last guess for who was waiting on the other side.
When JJ’s shocked eyes fell on you, you looked back up at her with the look of a deer caught in the headlights. JJ’s first reaction was to ask you why you seemed so scared if you were the one avoiding her for days and then showing up at her doorstep, but she held her tongue.
“Listen, okay here’s the thing…” you started suddenly. “I thought about the night, about what happened. Okay— so I took longer than I said and I’m sorry about that, but I have a good reason. I think, maybe.” You were rambling. JJ’s eyes were still filled with shock but she still had the sense to step out of the way when you pushed yourself into her apartment. “It’s just that,” you kept talking as you let yourself in, “this isn’t just something you do quickly, you know? I was with him for a while, and you and I… I’ve never connected with someone on the level I have with you. So if there was ever an inkling that I might lose our connection, even if it’s the smallest chance—“
“(Y/N), you would never lose me.” JJ had the sense to butt in with that, but your hand came up immediately after to signal her to stop whatever explanation she was ready to give you. 
“Even then… The idea is terrifying,” you looked back at her with pleading eyes. Her heart sank as she began to realize where this conversation might be going. You were still pacing and she so desperately wanted to stop you and tell you not to worry about it. You didn’t have to say them to her tonight. She didn’t know if she could manage to hear the words you might say, but she didn’t dare move from the doorway. 
“This isn’t coming out how I planned.” You pressed your hands to your eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “But…” you dropped your hands and gave JJ an intense look. “Then I thought about that night and all the other nights I’ve spent with you and I thought about… that kiss.” You both gulped as you said the word. “It was,” you paused, struggling to find the right words. “It was eye opening. It made me realize something…”
JJ was holding her breath. She really wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but she really was internally begging for you to rip off the bandage. 
You took a deep breath and tried to center yourself for what you wanted to say next. JJ was on edge where she stood, trying not to let you see the way her hands trembled as she waited.
“JJ, I want to be with you.” The words were out there and JJ’s eyes widened the second she took that in.
“What?” It wasn’t that JJ didn’t hear you, it was that she was in a state of mild shock.
“I have feelings for you too. I think I’ve always known how you felt, how I felt even. I just wasn’t sure how to face it…” Your eyes fell to the floor, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than you perhaps ever had been. “But then when you left that night it was all so clear to me.” 
JJ took a few steps towards you, her heart beating like a jackhammer in her chest. “Then why did you ignore me for days?”
“I wasn’t trying to.” You looked back up at her with apologetic eyes. “I said I wanted to do things right and I do. So, I wanted to make sure I put a permanent end to my relationship. All his stuff needed to be out, I needed to tell him that— You know, that this was really it. Which I did, last night. And then it took me all day to figure out what to say to you.” You let out a soft laugh and shook your head. “I had this whole script planned out. I didn’t use any of it. This has to be the messiest way to tell someone you want to be with them.” 
Finally, JJ’s face shifted from shock to a soft smile. She took another step and then another until she was right in front of you. “I think it still worked out well.” 
You took a step towards her and whispered, “yeah?”
“Yeah,” she nodded before reaching for your waist. She leaned in and her lips pressed against yours for the first time since that night. And just like that first time, you melted into it. 
———————————-
When you made up your mind to finally tell her that you wanted to be with her, you had also told yourself that you would do things right, take things slow. However, when your back hit her mattress and you looked down at the foot of the bed to see JJ crawling up your body… Well, that ship had long sailed. Even JJ had a similar thought when you finally admitted that you wanted to be with her, but that idea quickly went out the window the minute she felt your whole body press into hers as she kissed you. Her resolve only broke further the more the two of you pulled at each other’s clothes as you made it to her bedroom.
There was still a part of both of your minds that told you two that maybe things should slow down, but then when you looked at her, pupils blown, a slight blush across your face, that idea left her mind entirely. And when she looked back at you, nothing but adoration in her eyes as her hands ran up and down your half-naked body, any worry about going too fast was erased from yours too. This was JJ after all. It wasn’t like you didn’t know her. You did, you truly knew her. Perhaps deeper than most people can know one another. 
So there you both were. JJ was hovering over your body at this point and you couldn’t stop yourself from taking in the beautiful tone of her bare stomach as she waited above you in nothing but a sports bra. Without even thinking, your hands made their way to her stomach and your nails, ever so softly, raked down her skin. You watched in awe as JJ shivered and her eyes filled with lust; a look entirely new for you to see. 
JJ cupped your chin and dipped her head down. The way she kissed you, slow and deep, had your chest heaving and your heart racing. Your nails dragged across her stomach until they reached around her back and you pressed her down. Now her barely clothed form was pressed against your matching half naked body. Her hand didn’t leave your chin as her tongue traced around your own. You, for the most part, could only grip at her closer as you continued to kiss her. All of these feelings, of her pressed against you, the way she kissed  and touched you, everything was just overwhelming your senses in the best way. Finally, when you felt JJ’s other hand start to brush down your stomach until she pressed the palm of her hand to your bare thigh, did you start to ground yourself in the feeling of her touch. Her fingers gently traced circles on your inner thigh as she kept kissing you, with each passing second getting closer and closer to where you wanted her most. 
JJ pulled back just a little, her lips still barely ghosting over yours. Her fingers were playing with the edge of your panties and you realized she was trying to get your consent. Your heart swelled for the care she was giving you. It was something that might just be considered the bare minimum, but when JJ did it, it showed just how much she respected and felt for you. All of this felt new to you tonight, not just the fact that you were about to be with JJ for the first time in a way that you had never expected before, but everything else about the encounter. Never had you felt someone cherish you as much as she did and that feeling intensified with each little touch.
You gave her a small nod, your arms moving up her back to wrap around her neck and pull her lips back down to meet yours. As you resumed the kiss, you let a small gasp out against her lips the moment you felt her fingertips dip into your panties and brush against your clit.
Her fingers stroked slowly across it once and then twice and you couldn’t stop the small sounds that escaped from you. JJ wanted to take this slow, to soak in every single sound you made and how good you felt, but it wasn’t easy. Part of her wanted to just let go of everything, to let go of the long time she spent bottling things up, but she knew you needed to feel the love and adoration she had for you before she could dive in and finally indulge in what she’s wanted for so long. 
Her fingers started to trace small circles around your clit and her lips left yours to kiss across your jaw. Your eyes were screwed shut again and your hips were moving ever so slightly with the way her fingers were working on your clit. JJ’s eyes were fixated on the way your face looked, flushed and twisted in the pleasure she was giving you. Your lips parted slightly to let out a small whimper and that was when JJ knew she needed to pick up the pace. Her fingers pressed more firmly on your clit and the way they moved against it sped up. Your hips kept moving in time with her hand, trying to get more friction. JJ’s other hand went to your breast, pushing your bra up so that she could have access to your nipples. Her fingers traced around each one as her lips made their way down your neck. Neither of you seemed to notice or care that the way she started nipping and kissing at the skin there was surely going to leave visible marks. 
The feelings she was building up in you was starting to become too much, but you still wanted more. The way she focused on your clit felt amazing, but you wanted to feel her– to really have her. Without hesitation, one of your hands untangled itself from around JJ to reach down and grab her wrist. Both of you were shocked by the bold move, but neither of you minded, when you pushed her hand down further into your panties. JJ knew exactly what you wanted and let her fingers circle your entrance. 
You took a few deep breaths, your hand leaving her wrist to go back to pressing her body closer to yours. JJ’s lips moved down to your chest and the moment you felt her fingers start to push into you, you also felt her take one of your nipples into her mouth.
“Oh!” You did not mean to gasp as loudly as you did, but after that gasp came a moan as you felt JJ’s two fingers sink deeper into you before pulling out almost completely and pushing back in. She wasn’t going fast, but she wasn’t necessarily going slow either. The angle was a little awkward with your lower half still partially clothed, but you desperately wanted her to keep going. Eventually, your legs fell open wider to give her more space and your arms left JJ again only for a moment to frustratingly pull your panties down and kick them off. With those off, and JJ’s fingers back inside you, your head rolled back again. You couldn’t stop the constant, desperate moans and gasps that left your lips. 
JJ, in the meantime, had been busy switching between your breasts, marking up each of them and running her tongue across both nipples. When she started to feel your legs shake, she knew she needed to speed up. Her lips moved back to your neck, kissing over the marks she had left behind previously. Her fingers curled and your nails pressed into her skin. The sting of it didn’t even bother her, she was too lost in this moment with you. You were practically crying out her name with each pump of her fingers inside you. She wasn’t aware of much else other than the way you felt around her fingers. 
“I love you.” Her voice was muffled into your neck, barely above a whisper. “I love you…” she breathed again, her fingers pumping faster inside you while your nails dug harder into her back.
It took a moment for those words to sink in. Words you didn’t expect to hear so soon. Especially not now, not during your first night together like this. But they were out there, whether JJ meant for you to hear or not. 
Your body tensed for just a moment, even if you didn’t mean to. You had hoped JJ wouldn’t notice, but like always she did. Her head pulled back, her fingers slowed to a stop but never pulled out. Immediately when she met your eyes hers filled with panic. Probably because you looked back up at her with shock.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean for–” She started to pull away. “I know this isn’t the best time to say–”
Your hands clenched harder onto her back, trying your best to get her to stop pulling away from you. “I love you too,” you whispered. It wasn’t something you expected to say, but suddenly as you looked up at her, you realized it was the truest feeling you’ve ever had. 
Her eyes searched yours for a moment. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah.” You nodded hard, your hand pressed to the nape of her neck to encourage her to lean down and kiss you once again. As she did, her fingers resumed from the pace that they had left off. 
One of JJ’s hands came down to your thigh, grabbing it to hook across her waist. Her fingers hit just the right spot deep inside you and you broke the kiss to moan out a breathy, “I love you.” JJ’s pace sped up even more and that was all it seemed like you knew how to say. You kept saying it until finally, finally you came hard on her fingers.
JJ slowed her pace, letting you ride out your orgasm until you finally took a deep breath. Your eyes stayed closed and JJ, ever so slowly, pulled her fingers out of you.
“Wow,” you panted. 
“Yeah,” JJ let out a breathless chuckle. “Wow.” Her hands came up to cup your face again and you pressed a kiss to her palm. 
“I do really love you,” you whispered. “I don’t know how it took me this long to see that…”
She shook her head before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We’re here now and that’s what matters.”
Your arms pulled JJ tighter into you and you knew she was right. Despite how long it took you to put up with the bad treatment and accept the fact that she was there this whole time, you two were here now. Together and in love. This was just the beginning of it, and you knew that not only were you finally able to feel truly safe, but that feeling would never go. As long as you had JJ, you felt no fear.
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ieatfanficforbrunch · 8 months
Text
Steve is Worthy
He based all his self-worth on others. He knows he got it from years of living with his parents for so long.
They were by no means rich, just rich for Hawkins. Lowest High Class if you will. With that came the constant reminder of their Reputation. His father was an Assistant Director for Coke-a-cola and, whether he liked it or not, the Harringtons were in the public domain.
Of course, that meant he had to be perfect, there was no choice.
When he was three, his father took him to a store to get a toy for his birthday. Little Steven in his kakis and a sweater vest with a collar, wanted a baby doll.
He picked one out, something perfect for him. A baby doll with dark hair and blue eyes. Its body was a cloth material, and its head, arms, and legs were plastic. It came with a bottle and a pacifier; it was everything the toddler could ever dream of.
When he picked up the toy it was ripped from his hands, his father scowling down at him.
“You know better Steven. If you want to make me proud, go find a car. Honestly, what must I have done to get a son who wants a doll?” The words brought tears to his eyes, but he knew better than to cry, he was a boy, and he needed to act like one.
When he turned seven his mother threw him a birthday party. He was grateful, ecstatic that his friends from school would be coming to see his room and his cake. He picked out the best cake in the world, a small one with delicate flowers in blue and white. It was perfect for him, soft and gentle.
His parents told him to stay in his room until 6:30, his mother specified that he needed to wear the outfit she chose for him. He waited for hours, excited at getting to celebrate his special day. When the clock struck 6:30 he took the stairs two at a time, excited to see what his mother had planned.
When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he didn’t see any of his friends from school, he didn’t even see any kids. There were adults from his father’s company, all with a glass in their hand. On the kitchen table there sat a small blue cake with a baseball bat on it, not a single flower in sight.
His eyes once again burned but he knew better than to cry.
“We have to keep up appearances, Steven,” his mother said, “Your friends are not good enough for you, you are no longer prohibited to speak to them. As for the cake, you know better. Flowers are for girls; you are a boy. Your father has signed you up for baseball, basketball, and the Swim team. I expect you to attend every practice.”
Steve just nodded.
For years he did everything they said, everything they wanted him to do. His mother picked out his outfits, his father found suitable friends for him. Those friends made the decisions for him, he followed along blindly. He knew that the only way he was worth anything was if he was perfect and obedient.
He would go to every event his father told him to, only date who his parents allowed, and never once did he step out of line, because when it was all over and he got an award or a date or a good grade he would be rewarded with a “well done, Steven,” from his father.
When his parents bought an apartment close to his father’s office, Steve was left to take care of the house. He was left without direction. He was free.
The first thing he did was get in a fight with Johnathan Byers, the second was kicking his friends to the curb, the third was getting broken up with, and the fourth was fighting an interdimensional monster.
If that wasn’t bad enough, he also (accidentally) became the ‘mother’ to the nerdiest kids on planet Earth.
From a young age, he learned that his worth as a person was connected to what he could give people. For these kids, he would give protection, free movies, and his life if it ever came to it.
Robin tried to help him realize his worth as Steve, but nothing worked, and then things went from bad to worse.
Steve was shell-shocked, to say the least, as he carried Eddie’s limp, bleeding body through the upside down. He was desperate, Desperate to make himself useful, desperate to save his new friend and lover, he needed to be useful.
He got Eddie out of the Upside down, to a hospital, and in the care of the only people who could help him. Then, he waited.
He didn’t get treated, couldn’t, wouldn’t, because one of the kids may need that help, or the earthquake victims, or anyone who wasn’t him.
Robin could only sit by and watch, knowing that Eddie was the only person who could convince Steve that he was worth enough to get his wounds treated.
Eddie woke up 6 days later to Steve holding his hand.
The lights were bright, the sounds were loud, and everything was cold. Everything except Steve. His skin was like fire against his.
Eddie blinked slightly, glancing around the room. Wayne was in the corner, sleeping in some terrible chair, Dustin was asleep on a tiny cot next to the bed, and Robin was leaning up against the wall.
“What happened…?” Eddie asked her.
Robin sighs, “Your Stevie here carried you out, got you to a hospital. The doctors said you should heal with minimal damage, but it will take a couple of weeks…”
Eddie nods, asking, “Is he…okay?”
Robin pinches the bridge of her nose, a habit she picked up from being around Steve so much, “He’s refusing treatment, says the supplies need to go to people who actually need it…I think the wounds are getting infected…”
Eddie sighs softly before gently shaking Steve’s shoulder.
“Stevie…Baby, wake up, it’s time you go to the doctor,” Eddie whispers.
Steve grumbles softly before opening his eyes. A smile spreads across his face as soon as he sees Eddie. For a moment they just looked at each other, and then Eddie pulled Steve to his chest. The embrace was anything but silent, sniffles, escaped sobs, giggles, and even ‘I missed you’s are shared between the two.
Eddie doesn’t let Steve leave his chest as he talks, “Ok Stevie, time to get those bites taken care of…yea? Scars are Metal, dying because of infection…not so much.”
Steve looks up at him, prepared to protest, but Eddie shushes him, getting a bitchy glare from Steve.
“Come on Baby, please. You are so important to me, and I need you to get better, ok? I don’t care if you think those people need it more, you not only helped save the world, but you saved my life. Do you understand? No one in this world deserves to be patched up more than you,” Eddie whispered, cupping both Steve’s cheeks.
Silent tears stream down his face and he reluctantly nods. Robin immediately runs to get a nurse.
“You are my everything Steve, my entire world. If I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do. You are Worth Everything. Ok? Everything,” Eddie says, gently kissing Steve’s cheek, then his other cheek, then his forehead, then his chin, then his nose, and finally his lips.
Steve smiled, getting the treatment he not only needed but deserved. He was moved into Eddie’s room where he was showered with love, affection, and encouragement. He felt happy, he felt loved, and, most importantly, he felt worthy.
337 notes · View notes
hottiehiei · 3 months
Text
No Strings Attached with Hiei
When friends with benefits turns into something more…
nsfw (nothing too explicit), gender neutral
✧༺✧༻✧༺✧༻✧༺✧༻✧༺✧༻✧༺✧༻
𓆩⟡𓆪 Don’t catch feelings. That was the only rule. Hiei made this clear from the very beginning, and you agreed without complaint. Neither of you had any intentions of pursuing a relationship, so it seemed easy enough. It was only harmless fun.
𓆩⟡𓆪 Hiei warmed up to the idea after you caught his attention through subtle flirting, mostly using nonverbal cues like seductive stares. At first, he thought you were dense for trying to seduce a demon, but he was intrigued by your lack of fear. Besides, a human who didn’t mind being used was far too good to resist. He responded rather boldly. “If you want it so bad then say it.” “How long do you plan to drag this out. I know what you want.” (Hiei isn’t much of a flirt, sorry.)
𓆩⟡𓆪 Quick side note— even if there are no strings attached, there needs to be some level of trust before Hiei exposes himself intimately. Sure, he might have the occasional dirty thought, but he wouldn’t sleep with just anyone. Hiei may be a demon, but his morals differ from those of his kind. That said, sex wasn’t an everyday thing. His libido isn’t very high.
𓆩⟡𓆪 Only under certain circumstances will Hiei decide to snatch you away to satisfy his urges. Suppose he’s pulsing with pent-up energy after an intense fight. Dragging you to the bedroom would be the perfect way to blow off that extra steam.
𓆩⟡𓆪 Once this routine is established, you eagerly await his next battle, practically wishing for some idiot to come along and challenge him. The more riled up he gets, the better. Hiei can feel your eyes trailing him while he’s engaged in combat, and he enjoys every minute of it. Once the battle is over, he will send you a look that says, “You’re next.”
𓆩⟡𓆪 There’s no lovemaking or sensual foreplay. To keep your relationship a secret, everything has to be quick, which is no issue for Hiei. His mouth is rough and hot against your body, licking and biting at your skin for only a second— any longer and he’d risk leaving unnecessary hickeys. Don’t even bother trying to take control. He’s visibly on edge, relentless with his thrusts. But, if there's time to spare, Hiei will generously go down on you as a way to calm down.
𓆩⟡𓆪 All of this, yet he never kissed you. A small boundary that he would not cross. You never prohibited kissing, he simply chose not to, and you didn’t question it.
𓆩⟡𓆪 By the time you return to the group, your hair is noticeably disheveled, and your clothes are oddly loose and stretched out. Somehow, Hiei is the same as before, not a single hair out of place. He’s perfectly relaxed while you’re struggling to recover. It’s a miracle no one has caught on.
𓆩⟡𓆪 But in the midst of everything, the line between friend and lover started to blur. The two of you developed an emotional connection rather than a physical one. As mentioned, sex was never frequent to begin with. The strength of your relationship didn’t rely on what happened in private. Hiei liked you…a lot. Spending quality time together was more than enough to put him at ease. It didn’t matter how the time was spent, he just wanted to spend it with you.
𓆩⟡𓆪 Hiei’s growing feelings became apparent during intimacy. He seeks your touch because he misses your warmth, not because he needs to relieve tension. Instead of his usual manhandling, he holds you closer, pressing his body onto yours with great gentleness. He wants to hear and feel you in different ways than before.
𓆩⟡𓆪 Less dirty talk, more sweet talk. He went from saying, “Beg for it.” to “Lay back, I’ll take care of you.”
𓆩⟡𓆪 The switch up is so obvious. Initially, he strictly prohibited kissing; now, he can’t keep his lips off you. There are full-blown kissing sessions that last way longer than they should.
𓆩⟡𓆪 Honestly, Hiei will eventually slip up and say something along the lines of “You’re mine.” or “You belong to me.” because the very thought of you sleeping with someone else is maddening.
✧༺✧༻✧༺✧༻✧༺✧༻✧༺✧༻✧༺✧༻
103 notes · View notes
akutasoda · 10 months
Note
Hi there! ☺️ Can I have headcanons of ranpo, dazai, chuuya, sigma and tetchou with a fem!reader who is very very strong physically (not because of an ability) even though she looks fragile, delicate and vulnerable? 🙏🥰
looks can be deceiving
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synopsis - you always seemed so delicate yet you probably were stronger than them
includes - dazai, ranpo, chuuya, sigma, tecchou
warnings - fem!reader, fluff, slight crack, wc - 676
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osamu dazai ★↷
↪he initially thought you were absolutely precious. while he did dislike how you always looked so vulnerable as he did worry something may happen to you and the fact he couldn't say no to you, he didn't mind when he was around.
↪he could always protect you. but eventually that turned on it's head when he watched you help out with more heavy duty chores around the agency.
↪while he was initially apprehensive about you helping, he immediately shushed his concerns as you exhibited a strength he could only compare to that of kenjis. except your's wasn't your ability.
↪but now he had this information and would call for you every single time he needed help. and he'd be lying if he didn't find it slightly attractive.
ranpo edogawa ★↷
↪he saw your seemingly natural delicate look to be rather cute. he adored you and your personality and clung to it like a life line. any time he felt down he'd find you and immediately perk up.
↪he found out about your strong natural strength by accident. because you seemed so fragile he never assumed you could do much psychically, with no offence toward you.
↪so when he was bored, he started teasing you. teasing about how you probably wouldn't lift him let alone give him a piggyback ride. and you were determined to prove him wrong so you quickly and abruptly picked him up.
↪he never expected it but loved it. so now he would constantly behave like a child and do those grabby hands for you to pick him up so he could parade around the office on your shoulders.
chuuya nakahara ★↷
↪he loved you truly, there was no doubt about that. but he always constantly worried about you being associated with him. you always seemed so fragile and delicate compared to his line of work.
↪so he constantly feared you could get caught up in it and he wouldn't be able to protect you. but those worries very soon melted away when he came home to your shared residence.
↪he opened the front door and was immediately greeted by you practically picking up and moving around the furniture. he immediately got concerned and then curious to why you were doing so.
↪and you're answer was that you got bored. but he still couldn't help but be impressed by your natural strength. it was defined impressive to him and he probably didn't have to worry that much about you anymore.
sigma ★↷
↪he never cared much about how strong you were physically or how you currently seemed so fragile. he was just glad he had someone as great as you that he could trust and finally find home in.
↪but that being said, he did find your delicate nature rather endearing. especially after a long day and you gave him something to look forward to, your comforing embrace. but he wasn't really ready to see you're real strength.
↪he had brought you to the sky casino for the day as you wanted to tag along for whatever reason. but he needed some stuff moving around and before he could get any other employee to help you offered and before he answered you were already helping.
↪he was very impressed by your dispaly of natural strength as he sure knew that wasn't your ability. and he felt somewhat wrong for finding ot rather attractive. especially when you still looked at him with that delicate expression
tecchou suehiro ★↷
↪you two seemed the complete opposite, but he didn't mind bit. if anything he found it endearing how delicate you seemed as it meant that he had some sort of normality to his everyday life.
↪but that didn't really change even if he found out you had some pretty unnatural natural strength. in fact he was pretty impressed seeing with a strength that could probably rival his own without any abilities or such.
↪but that didn't stop him from still seeing you as more of a delicate person but he loved that you had that side to you.
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344 notes · View notes
last-herondale · 5 months
Text
What We Almost Were
(Almost Pt 10 I.)
Bucky Barnes x FemReader!
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Warnings: none
Angst, heartbreak, healing
AN: Welp. We are nearing the end here. This will be the second to last post of this series. I hope yall have enjoyed this as much as I have writing it! It’s pretty long so buckle up 😝
Enjoy 🤘🏼
Finale
It was odd how calm you were. You expected to find yourself pacing the kitchen of Tony’s kitchen, or fiddling with the placement of the pillows on the couch. Instead, you decided that waiting around the house was no way to spend your day. So, you opted for going outside and walking the beach. He would be here by the end of the day. That’s all your correspondence from Tony said when he called you.
Bucky would be here soon.
You weren’t shocked to receive his letter, not entirely. After not seeing him for months, not talking to him for months… You had been a bit surprised he hadn’t written to you sooner. You had given out your address weeks ago, and yet he hadn’t written to you until now. At first you thought that he truly didn’t care anymore.
That idea sat in your head for a bit. It bothered you at first, but then you started to realize that maybe this was for the best. You no longer worried about whether or not he thought about you. You couldn’t control him or what he did. You could only control how you chose to react. And so you didn’t. Slowly, over the weeks, the fear just fell away into nothing. And you continued that. With every worry, with every fear.
You just let it go.
What you had been shocked by was your response back to Bucky’s letter. You had thought long and hard about what you wanted to say. You mulled over it for at least four days before writing a single line back.
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It was short. It was simple. But it was enough.
It was a beautiful day on the islands. The sun was out and there was a thick heaviness to the air. It was forecasted to rain later in the evening. Part of you hoped that maybe his flight would be delayed, or that maybe he would decide not to show. However, you knew the likelihood of those things happening were low. So you took a deep breath, and made yourself ready to face whatever the day would bring. You knew it would not be easy, seeing him again, but you realized the day you read his letter, that this was necessary for your peace.
And with that idea planted in your soul, you allowed yourself to be content with whatever happened today. It was the most free you felt in a long time. You looked out at the waves, watching as they crashed against the rocks in the distance, how the water foamed at the shore by your feet.
This was freedom. This was peace. And you were enough. You deserved it all.
~
When I arrived, the house was empty. I was overwhelmed at first by the smell of the place. Vanilla, sage, and the faint scent of black pepper in the kitchen. It was all of the smells I had grown to associate with you. I didn’t realize I had missed it these long months without you, your scent. There were books scattered across the living room, along with a crumpled up blanket on the couch. The image of you curled up reading a book in the midmorning sun brought a warm smile to my face. I called out for you, softly at first, but upon not hearing a response back I opted for going outside.
I was grateful for Tony. He had provided you with a beautiful place to stay. The waves were crashing in the distance, and the clouds overhead were beginning to darken with the rising wind. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist being outside, even with the weather turning sour. So I started walking.
I was glad for this moment. A quiet moment in your space to think. I had been mulling over what I wanted to say to you for weeks. I only put so much in the letter that needed to be said, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you with my blubbering apologies. I feared you wouldn’t respond. That was my fear. More silence.
The thought of you cursing me back, telling me to leave you alone, that you hated me. At least it would have been something. I would have known you were okay, that you were safe. Even though everyone back at the tower assured me that you would be perfectly fine, I still worried. It was hard to believe in what I couldn’t see, but I always held out hope. And being here now, walking along the same beach where you had been spending your time, brought me peace.
I didn’t stray far from the house, but I continued to wander along the shore, looking for some sign of you. My heart was aching terribly. It had been since you left, but the knowledge that you were so close to me now had made it a thousand times worse. I thought about turning back to the house once the sun began to set, but then I spotted footprints leading off into the distance. My heart lurched in my chest.
You were at the end of this path. It made sense. My life had taken a very different turn when you entered my life, it was only fitting that however this moment in my life would end, that it would end with you. So I walked forth into my uncertainty.
I found you soon after. The shock of seeing you hit me like a freight truck. You were asleep in a soft patch of grass, lying up against the trunk of a palm tree. Your skin had tanned since the last time I saw you, and your hair had grown significantly in length. This environment suited you. You looked peaceful. You were breathtakingly beautiful.
I had no desire to disturb you and interrupt this wonderful scene. So, I found a place to sit nearby. I tried to share my attention with you and the waves crashing around us, but no matter how hard I tried, which admittedly wasn’t very hard, I couldn’t stop looking at you– for fear you’d disappear…again.
~
You must have fallen asleep after your walk. There was a soft patch of grass near a small alcove of palm trees where you liked to read during the afternoons. It was only when the soft cool drops of the beginning rain fell on your skin that you slowly opened your eyes. The sky had grown significantly more gray as the day wore on. You rubbed at your face, trying to rid yourself of the sleepiness.
“Hey, Doll,” his familiar voice called from your right.
You froze momentarily, then slowly lowered your hands away from your eyes as the scene unfolded before you.
Bucky was sitting on a log, a few feet away from you. He had cut his hair, and his beard was neatly trimmed down close to his face. He was wearing a red t-shirt and his black leather jacket that you loved so much. He looked good, at least better than you had seen him in the past. There were no longer circles under his eyes, and there seemed to be a certain liveliness about him that you hadn’t seen since his breakup with Nat.
“Hey, Buck,” you said gently, sitting up a bit against the tree.
The drizzling rain was peppering his shirt, leaving dark splotches of water in their wake. He gave you a small smile, staying silent, clearly wanting you to begin the conversation. You took a steadying breath.
“It’s nice to see you,” you began, “You look well.”
Bucky’s smile grew a bit. “You look good– er, great actually… I mean– you look happy.”
You couldn’t help but grin a bit at Bucky stumbling over his words. It was hard to remember that he was a very skilled assassin and soldier. Someone who could kill with the finesse of a practiced ballet dancer. The Winter Soldier. A title that invoked fear to any that heard it. None of that had ever mattered to you. To you Bucky was always just a man, and he was proving that to you now.
“I am. It's been nice to get away from everything,” you frowned a bit as you spoke, “I’m sorry for leaving how I did. I’m not proud of it, but–”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Bucky interjected softly, “I understand why you did. You don’t owe me anything, really. Steve understands too…”
Your heart ached in your chest at the mention of Steve’s name. He was one person you had not expected to hear from at all. After everything you did to him.
“Does he hate me?” you asked in a small whisper.
Bucky looked shocked by the question. “Of course not! He understood better than any of us your reason for leaving. He convinced me not to run after you the day I found your note and–”
“You found my note?” you asked.
Bucky’s face turned a bit red as he dropped his eye contact with you.
“I– yeah, I went to your apartment after our fight. I wanted to apologize– I wanted to–” Bucky seemed to be choking on his words.
You stood up from your spot by the tree. The movement made Bucky stop talking. You didn’t face him, rather you just looked out to the ocean. The rain wasn’t falling hard, merely a drizzle. You felt the warm breeze brush across your skin.
“It’ll rain soon. Walk with me back to the house.”
You didn’t ask him. In the past you would have questioned yourself in order to cater to what he needed, but now you didn’t even think to ask. You only noticed this when he took his steps silently beside you. The smell of leather and pine drifted from Bucky as he walked beside you. You hadn’t realized you could miss a smell so much. After a few moments, you took a breath and turned to him slightly.
“How have you been?” you asked.
“A mess,” Bucky said immediately, “But I’m getting better, honestly.
“I’m glad.”
There was a moment of silence.
“I– I ended things with Nadia,” Bucky blurted out.
You didn’t stop your pace, but you just gave him an inquisitive look.
“The night you left– after that fight– I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. Everything I criticized you about with Steve, and I was the biggest fucking hypocrite of them all. I’m sorry for that, really. I think about that every day. How I kept hurting you and hurting you, making you hate me–”
“Stop, Bucky just stop,” You said angrily.
You had finally stopped walking. The house was only a few yards away, but you couldn’t stand to move forward any further. Bucky stopped, his face pale as if he feared he had said the wrong thing.
“Look, I’m sorry that you feel shitty for how things happened, but this isn’t all about you, you know? I didn’t leave because of you, I left because it's what I needed to do for myself. I couldn’t keep living how I was. Always worried about what other people needed, what I could do for them. You needed me, and I found a purpose in that, and I lost myself in you. I couldn’t tell where your needs ended and mine began. And you kept me around because I fed into you, right? I fed into your need to be loved and desired and you used me for it. Right?”
Bucky made no attempt to correct you, so you continued on.
“Then you found someone to replace that position, someone who was less close to home, someone who you had the least potential to hurt. Maybe she didn’t mind it, maybe Nadia knew all along, I don’t know, but I don’t care. And don’t think I am shitting on you for using people for your own peace, because as much as I hate to admit it, you were right. That night when you told me I was using Steve, I realized I was. It wasn’t intentional– I never meant to use him, but I knew I wasn’t ready to move on from you and yet–”
The rain was starting to pick up. Fat raindrops were hitting against your face, but you also felt the warmth of tears streaming down, mixing together on your skin. You drew a shaky breath, willing yourself to look him in the eyes, to not shy away from everything you needed to say.
“I loved Steve, for everything he was for me, for everything he was for you. But I couldn’t fully give him my heart, and he couldn’t give me his. He would have tried, had I wanted, I’m sure. But I would never stoop that low, no matter if you believe the opposite.”
“I don’t– I would never–” Bucky choked out, “I think the world of you. I always have. Those things I said, accusing you of using Steve– they were so far off from the truth and just my own idiotic stupidity.”
“But I did use him–”
“No you didn’t,” Bucky said sternly, “I talked to Steve that night you left. He heard everything in the hallway. He was the first person to tell me how out of line I was. He never saw what you two had as anything that shallow. He knows you love him, and he knows that you love– or loved me. He will tell you all of this himself, but believe me, he understands.”
You felt a tension inside your chest release. You knew you should be skeptical of what Bucky said. Was he saying this just to win your favor back? Bucky was never one to lie to you, especially when it concerned his best friend, but you still felt relieved despite yourself.
“Why did he tell you this?” You asked.
It was pouring now. You and Bucky were soaked from head to toe as the thunder rumbled around you. Bucky’s eyes searched your face, and he hesitated before speaking.
“He– he told me this so that I could go after you…” he said softly.
It was your turn to remain silent. You weren’t sure of what to say. Bucky took a few steps closer to you, his eyes darkening as he looked at you. His body seemed to relax, as if he had been holding back these words for the longest time.
“He told me to go after you,” he repeated, “Because, I love you.”
You felt your chest tighten at his words. You shivered but it was not because of the cold of the rain.
“I have loved you for the longest time. You were there for me during the darkest time of my life. And you’re right, I thrived under your care. I used you for the love and attention you gave me and I gave you nothing in return. When I realized I loved you, that I could not go a day without wanting to be near you, I knew I had to distance myself. I thought myself too broken… too unworthy to love you like I did. I tried to distract myself from what I felt, and failed miserably.
“Then, the night of the party, when you told me you loved me… I–I was at war with myself. I wanted nothing more than to run to you, hold you, and tell you that I loved you a million times. I wanted– god, I wanted to do things differently with you, but I was scared.”
“Scared of what?” you whispered.
He looked at you with pure agony in his eyes.
“I was afraid that I would hurt you, like I did Nat, like I do to everyone. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I broke your heart. I didn’t want to risk it. But I did it anyway, didn’t I? By pushing you away… by lying to you about how I feel. I knew I made a mistake the day you left for that mission. I wanted to make things right when you returned, to beg and grovel at your feet, but then I saw you and Steve in the kitchen. You looked so happy. You both did. I couldn’t– I couldn’t ruin that. Not when the two people I loved the most seemed so happy. So, I stayed away. I hated every fucking minute of it, but I just wanted you to be happy. I still do.”
Bucky looked more defeated than you had ever seen him. His chest was rising and falling, as if he had just run a marathon. You tried to gauge how you felt. One on hand, you had just heard the words that you had been wanting to hear for the longest time. James Buchanan Barnes was declaring his love for you, finally. On the other hand, could you believe him?
He seemed sincere enough, but if you are honest with yourself, his actions towards you the past several months had not been indicative of someone who loved another person. He had been distant. He had been cold. And he had been cruel.
“Do you love me? Even now?” You asked.
Bucky took another step forward, leaving only inches between the two of you.
“Yes,” he whispered, “Desperately, I do.”
His eyes searched yours frantically. There was hope in his eyes, like glimmering sunlight on the ocean. Your heart ached furiously as you saw the light die a bit as you took a step back.
“Why should I believe you?”
Bucky deflated a bit.
“You have every reason not to. I don’t blame you for having doubts about me now, but I just want– I just want a chance. I know you have given me more than I deserve, but if you give me a chance… I will show you how your love has shaped me. I will pour back into you the love and devotion you gave to me, tenfold, because that is what you deserve. You deserve everything I have… every part of me– it’s all yours. And if you don’t love me anymore– if I’ve severed our bond so severely that it cannot be repaired… I will understand. I will bend to your whim, and leave. I am yours and yours alone. ”
He reached out slowly, allowing you plenty of time to shy away from his touch, but you didn’t. His fingers curled around your chin and held your face softly. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest.
“I love more than anything, Doll, you are my sun, moon, and stars.”
He watched you, his eyes fierce and blue. Thunder roared around you and the waves in the distance were starting to crash with fierce intensity, but it paled in comparison to the moment you found yourself in now. He was waiting for your response. Millions of things came to mind, but you couldn’t form any of them. A flash of lightning snapped you out of your revere and you blinked at the man before you.
You slowly used your hand to remove his from your chin. Bucky gave a little shiver at the touch as you lowered his hand back down by his side and let go.
“The storm is getting worse,” you said in a soft, even voice.
You began walking away from Bucky, looking towards the house and seeking comfort and warmth. You took a few more steps before turning to see Bucky standing in the same spot he was, looking at where you had just been. You took a deep breath and steadied yourself.
This day was not yet over.
“Well, come on then,” you called to him.
Bucky snapped his head around to look at you. He held a questioning gaze in his eyes. You didn’t say another word. The only response you offered him was a small wave of your hand as you continued to walk towards the house. You could barely hear his footsteps fall behind you underneath the sound of the thunder and the beating of your chest.
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totowlff · 1 year
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hello, how are you? first of all i have to say god how i love every single one of your stories, i literally gasp every time i see the notification of you uploading something new. i read all your fics and everyone is original and very well-written.
i was just wondering, have you thought of writing something about “needy toto” since he’s done surgery? i mean either soft toto who needs attention or not that soft toto who needs some other kind of attention 👀 if not never mind, it was just a doubt i had🫶🏻
hey, im good! and im super glad you enjoy my stories!
about your request, i guess i can do something for you, just check under the cut
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feverdream
You breathed a heavy sigh when you pressed the button for the top floor.
That was a difficult day, to say the least.
Being a fashion designer and entrepreneur had good and bad times. Some days were really good, and other days you didn't want to go back to your studio near the Prince of Monaco's palace. But you believed that, one day, it would all be worth it. One day, you would be invited to show your collections in the fashion capitals of the world.
It was just a matter of time.
When the elevator door opened, you headed down the hallway towards the door of the penthouse where you lived with your husband, who was finally home after two weeks in Asia for work. And you couldn't wait to give him all the kisses you couldn't give during those long 15 days.
When you unlocked the door and opened it, you definitely expected him to be in the kitchen, preparing something or even in the living room, watching something on television while he waited for you to arrive. However, the house was silent, the lights were on, but there was no sign of him.
— Darling? — you called, while leaving your bag and keys on the sideboard at the entrance. On top of it was your husband's wallet and keys, which indicated that he was also at home.
But where?
After finding out that he wasn't in the kitchen or in his office, all that was left was your suite to investigate. And when you entered the room, you found him lying on the bed, curled up under a double layer of blankets.
— Toto? — you said softly, unsure if he was awake or not. A positive grunt coming from somewhere in the middle of the pile of fabric made you come closer, sitting on the edge of the bed — What happened?
— Y/N — he stammered in a hoarse voice. Pulling the blanket down, you found his messy hair and pale, dry lips. The dark circles under his eyes and the way he was shaking even though he was covered made you press your lips into a thin line. He was definitely not well.
— Yes, darling, it's me. What are you feeling?
Toto didn't seem to be processing your words at typical speed. In fact, he spent long seconds with his eyes lost on your face, seeming to realize you were there. Until he finally answered you.
— Cold.
Placing a hand on your husband's forehead, you saw the reason for all those blankets.
— You're burning with fever — you said, while pressing your fingers against other points on his face and neck — Why didn't you told me before, my love? I could have left the studio earlier to take care of you.
— Cold, very cold — Toto limited himself to saying with a trembling voice.
Getting up from bed, you started thinking about what your mother did when you had a fever to bring your temperature down. The first thing you remembered was the medication, which was stored in a small box along with the other first aid materials in the bathroom. Checking if it was the right medicine, you got a glass of water in the kitchen and went back to your room.
— Sit down, darling — you said softly — I brought you some medicine.
With difficulty, Toto managed to lift his head, swallowing the pill with a grimace before letting himself fall onto the pillow. Leaving the glass on the bedside table, you went to the most complicated part. Pulling the mountain of blankets he had placed over his own body to reduce the cold he was feeling, even though they only made the situation worse, was a big challenge, especially with your husband's protests.
— No, Y/N — he groaned — It's cold...
— I know, Toto, but your cold will only go away if your fever breaks. And for that I need to take off these blankets.
He whimpered, trying to hold on to the duvet without success. After discovering him, you tried to take off the clothes he was still wearing, completely sweaty due to the fever and the layers of blankets he had placed over himself.
— No — Toto grumbled, trying to free himself from the gray t-shirt — Stop...
— My dear, I need to…
— No, I'm married — he said, trying to keep your hands away from his jeans, without success. The statement made you laugh, as you pulled the fabric down his legs.
— I know you're married, my love — you said, throwing your pants in the corner, while he curled up in the middle of the bed, in just his underwear — I was at your wedding.
— It was so beautiful — Toto said softly — Y/N was so beautiful... I love her so much…
— And she loves you too, I'm sure — you replied, holding back a giggle as you went to the closet in search of a washcloth that you could use as a cold compress.
With the fabric already wet, you approached the bed again, asking him to lie down on his back. As she placed the towel on his forehead, Toto hissed in protest.
— It's cold — he murmured, trying to remove the compress from his forehead. However, you gently pushed his hand away.
— I know, my love, but I need to do this for you to get better.
Toto fidgeted some more, while you stroked his face to calm him down. He was a terrible patient, and that was a fact. But at the same time, there was a certain sweetness in being able to care for him at that moment, when he needed you most.
— I hate being sick — he mumbled, eyes closed.
— I know that — you replied, taking the compress to his forehead again, his hair already damp at that point. After a few more seconds, Toto opened his eyes slightly.
— Sorry about that.
— It's not your fault.
— I should have been more careful.
You slid your fingers to his lips, asking him to be silent.
— In sickness and in health, remember? I will always be with you, Toto. Always — you replied, leaning in to press a kiss to his warm forehead before continuing to press the compress against his skin.
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