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[libraryofgage]

Ko-Fi Writing Commissions!

Want a fic with your favorite tropes? Got an idea that just won't leave you alone but no energy to write it yourself? Want somebody to write your OC's backstory? Craving a cringe (affectionate) haiku?

Well, I'm your gal!

I will write:

Prose or poetry

Fanfiction

Smut

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Horror

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I will not write:

Heavy gore

Intense action scenes

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Prices*

500 words = $5 1k = $10 1.5k = $15 2k = $20 Anything more than 2k is eligible for price negotiation

Poetry is eligible for price negotiation *Prices doubled for smut

Fandoms/ships I'll write:

Stranger Things: Steddie, Ronance, Buckingham MXTX: Hualian, BingQiu, Wangxian BNHA: TodoDeku, ShinDeku, ShinKami, DabiHawks, NatShig This list isn't comprehensive. I'll write for almost any fandom and pairing; just let me know what you're interested in seeing!

Commissions may take anywhere between 1 and 3 weeks depending on how busy work makes me, but I will keep you updated on the time and progress of your piece

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Got a favorite series that you wanna see updated sooner? Have it jump to the front of my To-Write line for $15

The following series are eligible for line jumping:

Addams Family B-Side (Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually---Debbie and Fester Addams)

Good Vibrations

SpiderPool Steddie

Mermaid/Pirate Steddie

PJO Steddie

A Place Like Steve in a Boy Like This (Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually--- Rick and Evelyn O'Connell)

Harlequin Prince (Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually--- Harley Quinn)

A Hop, a Skip, and a TARDIS Jump (Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually--- Tenth Doctor and Rose Tyler)

A Prince and a Metalhead (Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually--- Queen Clarisse Renaldi)

The Wish Job (Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually--- Leverage Crew)

Any unwritten Parent AU from the Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually series that I've currently got ideas for (Crowley and Aziraphale, The Scooby Gang, etc.)

If you'd like to line jump a series, just send the ko-fi with your desired series as a comment! Series will jump based on the order and number of ko-fi payments received for any given series, and the series will be updated within 1 week

All series listed are drafted/planned. Requesting a series update simply pushes your desired series to the front of that update line so you can read more of it sooner

[03jyh23]

— starlight, guide light, and everything in between || jeong yunho

In the quiet moments of parenthood, amidst the tears and the laughter, we find strength in each other's arms, and love that knows no bounds.

first-time dad!yunho x first-time mom!reader

genre: angst, fluff

trigger warnings: infant distress/crying; illegitimate child; parental anxiety/panic; emotional distress; breastfeeding; postpartum experiences

words: 3.8 k

reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! the time has finally come, and im publishing my first Yunho fic 🥹 lately, some kind of maternal instinct seems to have awakened in me, and i had to get it out somehow 😭😭 i guess im getting old. just to clarify, i haven't given birth myself or have kids, so this fic is solely written based on my imagination of what it might feel like postpartum.

love, monika. ♡

if you enjoyed this post, i'd be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!

You were dozing off wrapped in Yunho’s arms, your head in the crook of his neck, his smell calming your tired body. Your eyes were heavy, and it was getting harder to fight sleep. His hand was creasing your sides softly, lulling you to sleep. Being curled up on top of your boyfriend was your favorite place on earth. There was something incredibly comforting about being wrapped up in Yunho’s arms, feeling his warmth and steady heartbeat. It's like your own little sanctuary, a safe place where you can let go of all your worries and just be present in the moment. And falling asleep like that, with the gentle rhythm of Yunho's breathing and the soft touch of his hand, felt like drifting off into a dreamland.

It was a little over a month since your life was turned upside down when your little daughter was born. In that short period, every aspect of your world had shifted, reshaped by the arrival of this tiny, precious bundle of joy. The days had blurred together in a whirlwind of feedings, diaper changes, and sleepless nights. Yet amidst the chaos, there were moments of pure magic—how your daughter's eyes would light up with wonder at the world around her, the soft coos and gurgles that melted your heart, and the overwhelming sense of love that filled every corner of your home. But alongside the joy, there were also moments of doubt and uncertainty. Yunho, however, was deeply scared and anxious about becoming a father to a daughter. The mere thought of holding the fragile little being, feeding her, or changing her, filled him with a sense of fear and hesitation. It almost seemed like he was unable, or unwilling, to form an emotional bond with the newborn. This emotional disconnect was not just limited to the baby. Ever since you gave birth, a sense of apprehension and fear had gripped him. It was as if he was afraid to hold you, to touch you, and to confront the changes that your body had undergone postpartum.

The vulnerability that came with postpartum recovery was like nothing you had ever experienced before. Your body felt foreign, every movement was accompanied by a dull ache, a reminder of the physical toll that bringing your daughter into the world had exacted. But it wasn't just the physical changes that left you feeling vulnerable—it was the emotional upheaval as well. The hormonal fluctuations, the sleep deprivation, the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn—all of it combined to create a perfect storm of doubt and insecurity. In those moments of vulnerability, you had expected Yunho to be your rock, your unwavering source of support and comfort. Yet, his actions—or rather, his lack of them—left you feeling more alone than ever. His hesitation to hold your daughter, and his reluctance to look at your postpartum body, all served as a painful reminder of your perceived shortcomings as a mother and a partner. You couldn't help but wonder if Yunho found you unlovable now if the changes wrought by childbirth had somehow diminished your worth in his eyes. It was a cruel thought, born out of fear and insecurity, but it lingered nonetheless, festering like an open wound in your heart. You couldn't help but feel a sense of helplessness wash over you. The distance between you and your boyfriend felt insurmountable, a gaping chasm that threatened to swallow you whole.

That's why today's little nap meant everything to you. For the first time since the birth of Yunmi, Yunho was holding you like this, providing you with the comfort and warmth you longed for.

"Wait, did you hear that?" Yunho’s soft voice disrupted your nap. Not in your right state of mind yet, you just hummed against his neck, your eyes not opening even for a second. With a gentle hand, Yunho shifted you slightly, allowing himself to slip out from beneath your embrace. As he rose from the bed, you blinked groggily, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep that clung to your senses.

"What is it?" you murmured, your voice thick with sleep. Yunho's expression was one of quiet concern as he motioned towards the crib.

"I think she's awake," he whispered, his tone barely audible in the dimly lit room. Your exhaustion weighed heavily on every limb, making even the simplest tasks seem daunting. With a weariness that seemed to seep into your bones, you clung to the pillows, seeking refuge in their soft embrace.

"Could you get her?" you whispered, your voice barely above a hoarse murmur, as you heard the soft cry emanating from the crib. You mustered all your strength to sit up and shake off the tiredness as you looked at Yunho standing still next to the crib, almost as if he was unable to move any closer. Each cry felt like a dagger to your heart, a reminder of your inability to provide the comfort that your daughter so desperately needed.

"I think it's better if you take her," he said, his voice devoid of emotion, his gaze fixed on the wall as if unwilling to meet your eyes. The words struck you like a slap in the face, igniting a firestorm of indignation deep within your chest. Yunho's refusal to take Yunmi stirred a storm of emotions within you. Anger, frustration, hurt—all of it boiled beneath the surface, threatening to spill over at any moment. How could he still refuse to take responsibility for his own daughter? How could he stand there, staring blankly ahead, while you bore the brunt of exhaustion and fatigue?

"Yunho, how can you—" you began as you stood up from the bed, your voice trembling with emotion, but the words caught in your throat, choked off by the weight of your anger and hurt. Tears welled in your eyes, hot and stinging, as you struggled to contain the torrent of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. As you approached the crib, your hands clenched into fists at your sides, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you fought to maintain control. You leaned over the crib to take Yunmi into your arms and care for her. With a shaky breath, you turned away from Yunho, cradling your daughter close to your chest as you retreated to the living room. You weren't surprised that Yunho stayed behind in the bedroom, his presence a silent reminder of the distance that had grown between you. With a heavy heart, you settled onto the couch, cradling Yunmi in your arms as you prepared to breastfeed her. Your daughter's eyelids drooped as she nursed, the weight of exhaustion finally catching up to her. With each gentle suckle, she grew more and more drowsy, her tiny fingers curling against your skin in a gesture of contentment. As you watched her drift off to sleep, a pang of guilt tugged at your heart. You had expected Yunho to be there for you, to support you through the challenges of motherhood, yet time and time again, he had fallen short of your expectations. Yunmi finally drifted off to sleep, her tiny chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. With a weary sigh, you leaned back against the pillows, holding your daughter close as you closed your eyes, allowing the exhaustion of the day to finally claim you.

You opened your eyes to see Yunho carefully lifting your daughter from your arms, his movements a mix of awkwardness and tenderness. Despite his initial hesitance, there was a determination in the way he cradled her against his chest as if he wanted to make up for any shortcomings. As he tiptoed back into the bedroom, you couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth in your heart. Despite the challenges you faced, seeing Yunho taking care of your daughter for what you believed was the first time, filled you with hope for the future. You listened as Yunho gently placed your daughter in her crib, his voice humming a soft lullaby as he tucked her in. Drifting back to sleep, you were roused once more by Yunho's quiet voice emanating from the bedroom.

"I have so much I want to say to you," he whispered, his voice barely above a hushed murmur. Yunho gazed down at Yunmi, her small form tucked snugly into her crib, her chest rising and falling in the steady rhythm of sleep. ''I'm so sorry for letting you, and your mommy down since day one...'' A sense of awe washed over him as he watched his daughter, the weight of his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. "You're my little starlight, and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. Yunmi is Daddy's precious, shining light in the darkness." He reached out to gently brush a stray lock of hair from her forehead, his touch feather-light against her soft skin. "Daddy is really so sorry," he continued, his voice thick with emotion. "Sorry for all the times I've been afraid, for all the moments I've missed. I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world, and I'll do whatever it takes to be the father you deserve." As he spoke, he felt a surge of love and determination welling up inside him, a newfound sense of purpose ignited by the presence of his daughter. In her innocent slumber, he saw the promise of a future filled with endless possibilities, a future that he vowed to protect and nurture with all his heart. "I may not have all the answers, and I will make mistakes along the way," he whispered, his voice trembling with sincerity. "But I promise to always be here for you, to love you unconditionally, and to cherish every moment we share." With a tender smile, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin for a moment longer. "I love you and Mommy so much. Sleep well, my little starlight," he whispered his voice a soft lullaby that filled the bedroom with warmth and love. "And know that Daddy will always be here, watching over you, every step of the way. From now on Daddy will do his best." As Yunho's words echoed in the quiet of the apartment, you felt a mix of emotions welling up inside you, threatening to overflow. Tears streamed down your face, unnoticed in the darkness, as a tumultuous storm of feelings raged within your heart. Anger simmered beneath the surface, directed not at Yunho, but at yourself. How could you have been so blind to his struggles, so oblivious to the pain he had been carrying? You berated yourself for not recognizing the signs sooner, for not being there for him when he needed you most. But amidst the anger, there was also a profound sense of relief—a weight lifting from your shoulders as you finally understood the depth of Yunho's feelings. For the first time since your daughter was born, you felt truly connected to him, bound together by the shared experience of parenthood and the raw vulnerability of exposing one's innermost fears. And beneath it all, there was love—a love that transcended words and actions, a love that bound you together despite the challenges you faced. Despite the tears and the turmoil, there was a sense of gratitude in knowing that you were not alone—that together, you could weather any storm that came your way.

A little while later, you heard Yunho returning to the living room, his footsteps soft against the floor. A pang of guilt tugged at your heart as you pretended to be asleep, not wanting him to know that you had overheard his heartfelt words to your daughter. You quickly wiped your tears, and kept your breathing slow and steady, willing yourself to remain still as Yunho approached the couch. Soon, his arms enveloped you in a gentle embrace, lifting you bridal-style and carrying you back to your shared bedroom. Settling you onto the bed, he tucked you in with care, ensuring you were comfortable before gently placing the duvet over you. His touch was tender, his actions speaking volumes of his love and devotion. Yunho pressed down a warm kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment against your skin.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion against your forehead. "I'm just so scared to be a father," he whispered, his voice barely audible in the stillness of the room. "Scared to hurt her, to make mistakes that she'll never forgive." You felt the weight of his fear pressing down on you, his vulnerability laying bare the depths of his insecurities. With each word, it was as if a window had been opened to his soul, revealing the raw, unfiltered truth of his innermost thoughts and feelings. "I want to be the best father I can be, but... but what if I'm not enough?" His voice cracked with the weight of his uncertainty, his words echoing in the stillness of the room. And then, you felt it—a single tear falling onto your temple, a silent testament to the depth of his pain and fear. In that moment, your heart broke for him, for the struggles he faced and the burdens he carried. "And you," Yunho continued, his voice trembling with emotion, "you've been amazing since day one. I've watched you, seen the way you care for her with such love and devotion. It's like you were born to be a mother, and... and I can't help but feel like I'm falling short." Yunho longed to be the pillar of support you needed, the rock upon which your family could lean in times of trouble. But with each passing day, the weight of his insecurities grew heavier, threatening to crush him beneath their burden. "I'm still so afraid," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper now. "Afraid of letting you down, of letting Yunmi down. But I promise, I'll keep trying. I'll do whatever it takes to be the father she deserves, even if... even if it scares me to my core." In the darkness of the bedroom, his words hung heavy in the air. "I love you so much, Y/N, and I will do better, I will be the support you need." Yunho's voice broke through the silence once again, his words filled with sincerity and remorse.

"And I love you," you finally whispered, your voice filled with tenderness and affection. With a gentle touch, you reached out to wipe away the tears that streaked Yunho's cheeks, your fingers tracing the contours of his face with utmost care.

"You've been awake the entire time?" Yunho's voice broke the silence, his words carrying a mixture of surprise and relief. A shy smile tugged at the corners of his lips, a hint of uncertainty in his gaze as he met your eyes. You returned his smile, the warmth of his presence washing over you like a gentle breeze.

"Yes," you admitted softly, your voice filled with understanding. "I heard everything." There was no judgment in your words, no recrimination for his vulnerability. Instead, there was only acceptance—a shared acknowledgment of the complexities of love and the struggles that came with it. Yunho's smile widened, a sense of gratitude shining in his eyes.

"Thank you for listening," he whispered, his lips placing yet another kiss on your forehead. "And for being here with me." You reached out to him, your hand finding his in the darkness, a silent reassurance of your love and support.

"Always," you whispered, your voice filled with unwavering devotion. "I'll always be here for you, Yunho. Through thick and thin." Yunho creased your cheek gently, his eyes never leaving yours. "And now get under the covers with me," you giggled mischievously, reaching out to pull Yunho close by his neck. With a playful tug, you caught him off guard, pulling him towards you until he landed on top of you with a soft thud. Yunho's eyes widened in surprise, a startled laugh escaping his lips as he found himself sprawled across the bed, his gaze locked with yours.

"You little trickster," he chuckled, his voice filled with amusement as he shifted to settle beside you under the covers. With a grin, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close until your bodies were pressed together in a warm embrace. The feel of his warmth against your skin sent a shiver of delight down your spine, a feeling of contentment settling over you like a soft blanket. "I haven't kissed you in forever," Yunho murmured, his voice laced with longing as he gazed into your eyes with a mixture of affection and desire. A soft smile tugged at the corners of your lips, your heart fluttering at the thought of his lips against yours.

"Then what are you waiting for?" you teased as you leaned in closer to him. With a tender touch, Yunho cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin as he drew you closer to him. And then, with a gentle tilt of his head, his lips met yours in a sweet, lingering kiss. At that moment, as you melted into each other's embrace, time seemed to stand still. The world faded away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the warmth and intimacy of the moment. As you pulled away, breathless and flushed with emotion, you felt a sense of completeness wash over you—a reminder that no matter how long it had been since your last kiss, the love you shared was as strong and passionate as ever. A playful sparkle danced in your eyes as you posed the question, your curiosity piqued by Yunho's endearing nickname for your daughter.

"If she's your starlight, then what does it make me?" you asked, a teasing lilt to your voice as you awaited his response. Yunho's gaze softened as he looked at you, a tender smile gracing his lips.

"You," he said softly, his voice filled with warmth and affection, "you're my guiding light. The one that leads me home, no matter how lost I may feel." Your boyfriend's words washed over you like a gentle caress, filling you with a sense of warmth and love. With a smile of your own, you leaned in closer to him, your heart overflowing with love and gratitude.

"And you," you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, "you're my everything." And as you melted into each other's embrace, surrounded by the quiet intimacy of the night, you knew that no matter what the future held, as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm that came your way.

The sound of Yunmi's cries pierced through the tranquility of the night, pulling you from the depths of sleep with a jolt. You moved to rise from the bed, instinctively driven to tend to your daughter's needs. But before you could fully untangle yourself from the sheets, Yunho's firm grip on your arm halted your movements.

"I'll get her," he murmured, his voice filled with determination as he gently pulled you back towards the bed. You hesitated for a moment, torn between the instinctual urge to rush to Yunmi's side and the desire to trust Yunho to handle the situation. But as you looked into his eyes, you saw a steely resolve there—a determination to prove himself as a capable dad, despite his fears and insecurities. With a silent nod, you allowed yourself to sink back onto the bed, the warmth of Yunho's presence comforting you as you watched him rise to tend to your daughter. As he crossed the room to Yunmi's crib, you couldn't help but feel a surge of pride welling up within you—a recognition of the strength and courage it took for him to step up and take on the role of caregiver. Yunho took her in his arms, gently and tenderly, almost as if he were afraid that his touch alone might hurt her. He held Yunmi close to his chest, rocking gently from side to side, he tried to calm his daughter, yet Yunho's panic escalated as Yunmi's cries persisted, his worry evident in the trembling of his hands and the furrow of his brow.

"Is she okay?" he asked, his voice tight with anxiety.

"She's probably just hungry," you reassured him gently as you stood up for the bed, understanding the depth of his concern. But before you could offer to nurse her yourself, Yunho's response caught you off guard.

"Oh..." he trailed off, his voice filled with uncertainty. "I can't breastfeed her," he murmured, the realization dawning on him as he grappled with the limitations of his role as a father. You reached out to him, placing a comforting hand on his arm.

"It's okay, baby," you assured him softly. "There are other ways you can help soothe her. We can prepare a bottle together, or you can hold her close while I feed her. What's important is that we're both here for her." Yunho nodded, his eyes reflecting a mixture of relief and gratitude.

"Thank you," Yunho whispered, his voice filled with emotion as he passed Yunmi gently into your arms, his eyes still big with worry. "Should I prepare a bottle for her?" You smiled softly at his eagerness to help, appreciating his willingness to step up despite his initial panic.

"I think I'll just breastfeed her for now," you replied, your voice gentle and reassuring. "But thank you for offering." Yunho nodded, a sense of relief washing over him as he watched you cradle Yunmi close, the familiarity of the bond between mother and daughter bringing him a sense of comfort. As you settled into the comfortable position, you nursed Yunmi, Yunho remained by your side, offering silent support and encouragement. As you nursed Yunmi, the gentle rhythm of her feeding lulled both her and Yunho into a peaceful slumber. The soft sounds of her contented suckling mixed with the steady beat of their breathing, creating a tranquil symphony that filled the room. With Yunmi cradled in your arms and Yunho nestled close beside you, you felt a profound sense of contentment wash over you. The warmth of their bodies against yours, the softness of their breath against your skin—it was a moment of pure serenity, a snapshot of the quiet joy that parenthood brought. You allowed yourself to bask in the tranquility of the moment, relishing the feeling of being surrounded by the ones you loved most in the world. In the soft glow of the morning light, you watched over them with a heart full of love, knowing that in this simple embrace, you had everything you ever needed.

"Be patient with him. He's trying," you whispered to your daughter, the words soft and tender as you gazed down at her sleeping form.

[maggstar]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐃𝐢𝐞

───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+, mni DNI!

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: when Y/N is moving to a new place, she asks for some help. To her luck, the handsome officer living nearby picks up her call to lend her a "hand".

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, sappy asf, cop!Hee, confession, kissing (tongue action yall know it), mutual touching, oral (f. and m.), 69.

𝐖𝐂: 3.2k

𝐀/𝐍: Hello my lovelies, I'm back (not for long). I have been promising a cop!Hee fic for so long that I've decided to feed yall with a prologue at least. Hope you like it!

Please leave any sort of feedback: reblogging and commenting is the best for me, so let me know!! ───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

 Summer 2022

"Oh, come on now, we're not even halfway there!" the lilting tone emancipated from afar, shifting through the rooms of the empty apartment to place the piles of carton boxes in their assigned spot. 

They were all different sizes, some possessing parts of old furniture or newly bought ones, decorations, and daily-life equipment, carefully packed and branded. It seemed as if the amount kept growing with each placement, countlessly checking the truck.

Moving shouldn't have been such a demanding process, yet Heeseung found himself sighing every minute, constantly puffing after successfully delivering a package. The sweat on his forehead kept amassing, bringing his gaze to the flaming orange star. As if the hot weather wasn't enough, the lack of clouds deprived him of cooling down a little. 

He regretted dressing up for the occasion because he only wanted to rip the beige Hawaiian shirt off him. It went well with the iceberg-pleated shorts, but he would have been better without it. At least the brown aviator sunglasses were somewhat helpful, giving off the cool vibe he dearly lacked. It was all an attempt at impressing the female whom he decided to help, postponing everything on his calendar. 

With a dramatic sigh, he looked back at the mentioned one, hopping from one leg to another, hips swinging to the sides at each jump.

There was a dazzling smile glowing amidst those moves, radiating bright energy, swaying her head from left to right. The wavy hair created a breathtaking shot in that lavender-colored jumpsuit, soaked in its splashy floral pattern. It all added to the sweet image, complemented by a charming personality. 

Heeseung didn't know what about her turned his insides upside down. There were too many factors about that breathtaking beauty to pinpoint one. From her looks to her brains, she was a flawless 10 out of 10. A woman every man could only dream of. 

He was one of those men, dreaming about her every night after hitting bed. At this rate, it was turning into a habit. His head would automatically wander to her curvy shape once he shut his eyelids. Her long and slender shoulders were a sight to see, and he imagined running his fingers on them. Sometimes he visualized her powerful thighs, hungering to feel them in his hands. His ultimate wish was to reach her back and squeeze her buttocks as much as possible. He was a pervert for fantasizing about her in such inappropriate ways. However, he couldn't help it. 

She was incredibly attractive, and even if he tried to look away, his vision still ended on her. It was unavoidable. She was gorgeous.

"Lee Heeseung! Stop being a baby and help me!" the bundle of joy reprimanded, looking back with knitted eyebrows. 

Nothing appeared better right then, content with the outcome of her decisions. It almost made the volunteer forget about the awaiting unboxing. He could sense the exhaustion steadily approaching from the corner, taunting the weary with its impact. 

She crouched down to organize the pieces in the corner, not anticipating a figure approaching from behind. 

"Oh, you did not just say that," he called out, hands stretching to the sides of her torso, ignoring the loud no's as he came closer to the desired location. At that moment, the secret weapon was released. The victim fought for air, their laughter overconsuming it all, hands trying to stop the intolerable torture. 

"Yah! Stop!" they yelled, slapping the boy's arms, squirming in his imprisonment. The imbalance in the position caused them to fall over, bringing the perpetrator with them and landing on the floor together. 

Heeseung stopped once his eyes locked with hers, staring into those beaming green orbs, casting rays of bliss. 

It was as if he was looking at pure euphoria, smearing its gilt palms on him, like a warm blanket on a cold day, whispering sweet nonsenses. He couldn't cease admiring the view, the corner of his mouth lifting unknowingly. It was immaculate, its face round as an apple, light brown dots etched around its Grecian nose, forsaking their presence at the plump upper lip, overshadowing the bottom half, completing the perfection.

He hoped this moment could last forever, with her beside herself with joy, grinning and holding onto him, pledging its eternity. It didn't have to be authentic, just the thought calming his anxious soul, questioning the length of this point before disintegrating in his grasp. 

Yet, staring into her almond-shaped eyes reassured the worried. His fingers ran through her silky hair, body slightly freezing in surprise, gasping at the unexpected gesture. The change in her breathing didn't miss his sight, caressing her head overfilled in worries and pang, hoping to divest them.

If only he could sweep away all of the trouble from her system and hold her close eternally to provide the oughted warmth and comfort. He appealed to the universe to provide her with the needed healing. To replace the bandages and plasters on her crushed soul with long-lasting stitches and disallow the wounds from ever opening up again. 

The universe found it amusing that he kept asking for something already there from the beginning, fulfilling all his requests without his knowledge. It was as snug as a bug in a rug, watching over the little one and protecting her in its embrace. It was all there, slanting over her with doe eyes, creating temporary crow's feet.

"You won't go, right?" she asked, swallowing the sudden change of emotions, the numbness and fear heckling to emerge. The despair on her brows drew in, transmitting through as her jaw pulled in. 

He shook his head, soothing away the dread with a peck on the rosy cheek, "No. I'll stay with you."

"Promise?" she held onto his collar, pulling him closer till their foreheads kissed. Oh, how much she wanted their lips to be the ones who connected and chafed against each other, devouring one another in ardor. She was foolishly hoping for the upcoming redness to evaporate, not embarrass her in front of the mighty male she so broadly adored. 

Was it the bambi eyes blanketing her in love or the warm palm holding her petite hand that made the girl swoon? She couldn't ignore the effects of this fine man in front of her. Her true intentions have been bottled up for so long that they began opposing. They wanted to shout and express the overgrowing desire evolving into a blooming garden of affection. 

"Promise," was all she needed to hear to pull him closer and make her dream come true without hesitating. To her surprise, nor did he.

It was like they'd both waited for this spectacular moment to happen, not getting enough of it. Their hands roamed on each others' backs, attempting to draw in the other as much as possible. They practically crushed their noses while doing so, forgetting about breathing for the upcoming seconds. The only thing they could focus on was the bliss it provided.

The ravenous act of love was so passionate that it almost made the woman collapse, holding on to Heeseung's T-shirt. He was in his world, experiencing the most pleasing kissing. 

No previous connection could match the intensity and perfection of this moment. It was such an anticipated fantasy that he struggled to fathom her soft lips brushing against his. The way they collided with his was sensational, relinquishing every thought in his brain. 

There was only this tingly feeling leading from his chest in between his legs. He was all over the place, but so was Y/N.

In her 21 years of living, she had never been French kissed before, and this was the first time she allowed someone to try it. Despite her strong resentment against the act due to finding it unhygienic, she let the man she dreamed of having for so long play with her tongue. For once, she ignored picturing bacteria transmitting through saliva and wrapped her arms around his neck.

And Heeseung made sure she wouldn't regret it. 

As soon as he gained access, he tenderly slipped inside her mouth with his warm and wet tongue. He painted her walls in adore, cupping her cheeks to bring them in. That way, he could also pull her closer and deepen the kiss. 

They both found the sounds of wet smacks bouncing off the empty room stimulating, letting out a few whimpers. 

"Heeseung, I want you," she started sucking on his bottom lip, voicing her frustration by occasionally biting. It didn't hurt, but it was enough to bring him back from the dazed state she left him in.

"I want you too," his fingers lightly slid down her arms, sensing the change in her heartbeat. It continued grazing over lower, barely touching her skin.

The teasing threw her over the edge. She just wanted him to tear off her clothing and wander his veiny hands all over her chest. To squeeze her breasts and pinch her nipples until she couldn't handle it. She wanted to become an utter mess underneath him. 

"Please, love me," She felt like an animal in heat, unable to think of anything else than the longing desire in her system. It repeatedly screamed his name in the most alluring way, gluing onto his mouth like it was the last time. 

The combination of his lustful gaze and comforting smile was an unbeatable experience. His eyes were the key to his soul, expressing love and appreciation with one beguiling look. 

"Can I?" he asked in her ear while playing with her earring, hooking onto the hems of the jumpsuit. 

"Yes, quick," she appealed, the urge intensifying each minute. Without having to ask, she began unbuttoning his cotton T-shirt, having a compulsion to rip it apart. 

His tongue was back trekking in her mouth, concealing her aching lips in the warmth of his saliva. Y/N couldn't properly focus on the cursed buttons when he delicately declared his delight in the kiss. It was impossible to do anything with him quietly moaning, stumbling over her consciousness.

"Fuck. Are all police officers this hot?" She exhaled at the mouthwatering view ahead. Her eyes rolled when her palms slid against his naked skin, the coldness causing them to flex. She knew about his exquisite physique before but never had the chance to see it up this close.

His muscles had always been visible through any piece of clothing, and Y/N found herself staring at every opportunity. Her hands couldn't stop touching his delicate skin, desperate to kiss and mark every spot. Just picturing him in purple love bites did wonders to her woman parts.

At this point, she was openly drooling over him. 

"You should look at yourself," He blushed at the compliment, pulling the piece of clothing off her. His leg pressed against her core right after, adding a log into the fireplace. She closed her mouth to conceal her needs, shutting her eyelids when his knee rubbed her clit. Was she too blatant with her thigh squeezing? Fuck. 

"You're fucking gorgeous," he leaned over, tracing her chest and torso with his nose. Seeing her in her undergarments and face scrunched in pleasure spurred his aching shaft even more. The addicting scent of shea butter absorbed every part of her, placing him under a spell with her features.

He placed delightful pecks on her stomach to ensure her comfort and safety, a feeling of happiness and contentment in his presence.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," his moans wiped down her thighs, licking and kissing everywhere. Her insides began burning, and she found herself desperately gripping his hair. The compliment he just dropped on her head blasted through her ears, flushing her cheeks in a rosy pigment. 

He had to have a lot of adorers in his past, and she didn't doubt it was the same in the present. His visuals were better than the models on magazines, a mixture of soft masculinity. Looking at him made her gasp consistently, habitually admiring his breathtaking assets. He was a work of art, and she couldn't stop admiring it.

"Heeseung," her breath lingered, staring at the savory growth behind his sweatpants. The outline, which appeared immensely luscious, provoked her intrusive thoughts to yearn for it. To lick and suck on it like candy until reaching a sugar crash. 

"Please let me put it in my mouth," the desperation transferred, sitting up to flip sides. He stared at her in shock from the floor with hands above his head, having hers wrapped around his wrists. Her sudden revelation caught him off guard, sensing his friend wholly waking up at the lewd confession. 

If it wasn't obvious how much he wanted her to have him her way, he wasn't sure about anything anymore. His heart was merely beating for her, picking up speed in pumping blood around his body. It was inevitable, particularly when she circled her tongue around his teats.

He would lie if he said he had experienced such a dirty act before, twitching and squirming from the kitten licks. He wasn't sure if it being his first time caused such a mercurial reaction or her being the one suckling on them.

Either way, Heeseung wasn't complaining one bit. He permitted her to play with them as she desired. 

"You're all I've ever dreamt of," her breath skimmed lower and lower until it recoiled up on his crotch. Both sighed at the highly-awaited instant as if they had been waiting for it to happen forever.

Y/N took in the paradise and rested her face on it, massaging her cheek against it. She was roaming in a daze, omitting everything around and focusing on the growing element beside her. 

All these lascivious acts made Heeseung think Y/N was an expert, not having a second to figure out his methods. They were thrown out the window the moment she pulled down his shorts and Calvin Klein boxers in one go, uncovering his nudity all to herself. He goggled at her from the uncatchable pace, leaning against his elbows for balance. 

"God, Hee," she wrapped her hand around the leaking material, leisurely smearing the pre-cum on the head. 

"Y/N," he hissed, watching his thick cock twitch in her small hand, throwing his head back. Once her thumb circled his tip, his testicles drove in. They uncontrollably pulsated with each hoop, losing control over their equipoise.

Her sparkly orbs, gazing at him from below while gingerly kissing the base, pushed the filthiest groans out of him. He could cum from her lips polishing his member, the delicate touch reminding him of a feather. 

"No more teasing, please," his hips raised, pressing his thick cock against her rosy cheek. He couldn't hold his desire any longer, practically begging her to suck him dry. 

"Oh? So what do you want me to do then?" her lips entangled around his tip, turning into a feisty smirk.

"Put your tongue on it," he pleaded, his knees turning numb from the ecstasy. 

"Like this?" her eyes looked up at him between his legs, sticking out her tongue to draw perfect lines across his treasure. For an answer, she received a loud groan alongside a light thump into the ground. She was playing a dangerous game, but it was too amusing to miss. 

"Look at how your cock twitches when I do this," she snickered, licking him from the top to all the way down to his balls. They were also in need of attention, and Y/N didn't forget to engage them in her playtime. 

"Or barely lick your head," she demonstrated the act, causing Heeseung to shiver in her grasp. 

"It makes me wonder how it'll react if I decide to put it in my mouth," her last word got nearly swallowed as she answered her question, leaving Heeseung in utter disarray. His brain resigned, incapable of handling the sheer amount of pleasure. If it stayed any longer, it would go insane. 

"It's so soft," she furrowed her eyebrows upwards, her hands coming back to wander on his buttery skin. 

"So tasty."

"So beautiful."

"So perfect."

It hit the back of her throat, face entirely buried into his crotch, satisfied blusters opposing as a reaction. She found it adorable how he desperately held onto her hair, trying to shove himself even deeper. It was so incredible that he struggled to contain his growing lust, prompting him to unravel his aggression. 

He wanted to grab her silky hair into a ponytail and mercilessly guide his dick deep down her throat. To watch the lump in it growing and disappearing with each pulse while her eyes looked straight into his.

He couldn't hold it anymore. 

He had to taste her.

"Turn around and sit on my face," he conveyed, seductively running his tongue over his lips. 

"What?" the shyness transferred to the opposite side, goggling at the depicted request. 

"Come on, don't be shy and sit on my face, princess." 

Y/N hesitantly looked at the stripped man, who was calmly lying with his arms behind his head, lustfully eyeing her up. 

"Ride it until you come down my throat," the nasty invite slipped out his mouth carelessly, putting on a smirk to secure its impact. 

"You know I'll lick it all up."

The woman's jaw dropped at the proposition, heavily floundering with her senses. Her interiors thawed at his sensual words, screaming at her to turn around and do as he demanded. 

"I don't want you to suffocate, dumbass," she lightly punched his arm, trying to dissipate the butterflies piling in her stomach. She didn't want to seem like a nuisance with her subtle shots at the getaway. However, her confidence wasn't the biggest one out there. 

Being on top wasn't the issue, but being that exposed to Heeseung. She always found it uncomfortable to have guys looking at all of her. Relaxing in someone else's arms was a problematic obstacle.

Heeseung wasn't an ignorant person not to notice the modest hints, settling to act rather than unroll the tangle of unnecessary insecurities. 

With that determination, he lifted her and placed her on his face without warning to get her raw reaction. 

At the same time, he found it foolish to waste a minute arguing. 

Instead, he could use it to eat her out and show her immortal magnificence.

"You have no idea how good you look from here," both ended up facing each other's genitals, admiring the glorious piece of art. She stared at him covered in her saliva mixed with precum, its size managing to develop more with each touch. 

Heeseung was playfully running his finger around her slick hole. The amount she had produced was more than he could imagine, the sticky material creating squelching sounds. His index traveled upwards, smearing the juices on her swollen clit.

"I could just play with you all day without ever getting bored," his finger disappeared inside her, unweaving a beautiful whimper. 

"Just run my finger up and down your pussy until you can't handle it," he smoothly pushed another in, her fluids substituting lube. 

"So warm and tight. All just for me," his nose hit her clit, soaking up her scent in an instant. 

"Heeseung," she sighed, holding onto his legs for support. 

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you more, Hee."

...to be continued...

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Taglist: @end-hyphen, @hee-pster, @jakeswifeyy, @gegeetime, @heerated, @jayked, @forjongseong, @enhastolemyheart

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! ^^

───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

@maggstar

[khayrrilrainxwells]

Flowers Of Love

HR Wells X Reader

A/N: Greetings, dear reader! I present to you my new fic, filled with passion and creativity. Your support through likes, reblogs, and comments would mean the world to me, and it would inspire me to continue writing. Thank you in advance for your encouragement!

Summary: Losing the love of her life was excruciating for (Y/N). In her grief, she longed for the impossible: a chance to turn back time and cherish their love once more, even if only in her dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're sitting in a breathtaking flower field, its vibrant colors complementing the warm hues of the sunset painting the sky. By your side is your beloved boyfriend, HR, whose presence brings you immeasurable joy and contentment. Every date with him, no matter how simple or extravagant, fills your heart with love and excitement. Whether it's a romantic night out, a cozy movie night, or even a quiet breakfast together, as long as you're with HR, you feel an overwhelming sense of love and happiness. From the moment you first met him, you were apprehensive due to past encounters with other versions of Wells, but HR proved to be different—sweet, funny, handsome, and refreshingly down-to-earth. It's his simplicity that captivates you the most, and you consider yourself incredibly fortunate to have him in your life. Being with HR brings you a sense of tranquility that you've never experienced before. He always goes out of his way to ensure your happiness, and the thought of a life without him is unimaginable.

As you gaze at HR, a sweet smile graces your lips, reflecting the deep affection you hold for him. Your attention then drifts to the beautiful flowers that surround you both, their fragrant presence enhancing the romantic ambiance. You find yourselves lying in the grass, your head nestled in the crook of HR's arm, a cozy and intimate position. In his other hand, he holds a delicate red flower, a symbol of love and passion.

"Isn't it peaceful?" you ask, your voice filled with awe as you take in the serene atmosphere.

HR's eyes light up, and he twirls the red flower between his fingers before tenderly placing it behind your ear. As you breathe in the fresh scent of the flower, you shift your position to sit beside him, your eyes never leaving his face. The breathtaking sunset paints the sky in hues of gold and pink, mirroring the beauty you see in HR.

"Do you ever miss it?" you ask, your voice tinged with a hint of sadness, as you twiddle the flower between your fingers, contemplating its delicate petals.

HR gazes at you, his eyes filled with warmth and understanding. He moves closer, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, causing your gaze to meet his.

"Miss what?" he asks, his voice tender and playful, a loving smile gracing his lips.

A mixture of emotions washes over you, and a bittersweet smile forms on your face, tears glistening in your eyes. You summon the strength to express the unspoken ache in your heart.

"B-being alive," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper, unable to meet his gaze.

HR's smile softens, and he sits beside you, his touch sending a comforting warmth through your body. He cups your face with gentle hands, causing your eyes to meet once again.

"I think it's time for you to wake up," he says, his voice filled with a tender sincerity. He places a gentle kiss on your cheek, his lips lingering against your skin. "Hopefully, you'll dream about me again."

As his words fade into the ether, HR slowly begins to vanish, leaving you alone in the enchanting flower field. A single tear cascades down your cheek, a testament to the depth of your love and longing. You awaken from the dream, your tear-stained eyes blinking open. Your hands tremble slightly as you wipe away the lingering tears, searching for solace.

Your gaze falls upon a framed photograph on the nearby table, holding a red, dried flower—a precious memento left behind by HR. With a bittersweet smile, you cradle the frame in your hands, pulling it close to your heart. It's a symbol of your enduring love and the cherished memories you shared. Though HR sacrificed himself, leaving a void in your life, you vow to keep his memory alive within your heart.

"Don't you worry, my love. I'm going to dream about you again," you whisper, your voice filled with determination and devotion. Placing the frame back on the table, you take a deep breath, summoning the strength to face the day ahead. While the ache of HR's absence may never fully dissipate, you're determined to honor his memory and find solace in the love you shared. With each passing day, you strive to carry his spirit within you, embracing the sweet moments you had together, and finding comfort in the dreams that bring you closer to him once more.

[albonoooo]

Emy 💛 slowly working my way through the list of people who make my dash a better place to be. Your tags are always perfect and hilarious and insightful, but I always notice when you reblog art/fic/edits you are so sincerely thoughtful in a way that means so much. Your post about ao3 bookmarks the other day is just proof that you have such a big big heart. And I *always* see you being supportive in people's likes and comments. I feel so lucky to have you on here <3

oh i'm 😭 thank you so much anon!!

i don't even know what to say, i'm just so happy to be here honestly. all of the people i've met through f1blr are so incredibly kind, funny and supportive. being a part of this community is so much fun and it brings me great joy that something as small as writing a little comment or being insane in my tags can have a positive impact.

i'm also taking your words about having a big heart and (gently) throwing them right back at you. i've seen a couple of your messages on other blogs and every single one of them has been heartwarming and thoughtful. it's such a lovely thing to do, thank you for that!!

i've screenshotted this ask and will cherish it greatly (read: possibly reread it every day, who knows). you've absolutely made my day and i hope someone will make yours, too 🫶🏻

[marzipanandminutiae]

its really too bad that you didnt respond to the well written response nbraraeaves made to your incredibly cruel and judgmental tags on that post. they brought up a lot of good points and its disappointing how youre so unwilling to hear any perspective other than your own.

Genuinely I had no idea what this was about until I scrolled halfway down their blog. Maybe next timetry specifying the theme of said post at least, so I have some idea about what I've been "incredibly cruel and judgmental" in regards to? We're not mutuals, and this was such a quickly dashed-off reblog that I didn't think to keep track of it after moving on to the next post.

I found what you were talking about, I think. I tagged a post about wanting community tags to block "x reader" fics- that is, second-person fics where the reader is a given character's OC love interest -thus:

Which, I admit, was a bit snarky of me. Although I will clarify that I meant it as an expression of genuine surprise: most fandoms have stories ranging from breathtaking to unreadable, quality-wise, in every sub-category of fic, so it surprised me that I'd never come across any Well-Written But Not My Thing stories of the Xreader variety. Logically I still figure there must be some out there, somewhere; it just seems strange that I've never found them.

the commentary, unlike this ask, was very polite and considered, and made some points I hadn't thought of before. (hence why I am actually responding to it, instead of simply deleting the ask)

They mentioned a lot of things I'll admit I hadn't considered- I assumed it was mostly just people wanting to bang a specific character. Which would be fine, to be clear! I don't go into Xreader circles and yuck anyone's yum- I said this on my private blog, where I thought nobody into that sort of thing would see it.

Which leads to another point: I did not think anyone who was into Xreader would be following me.

Listen, on the balance, the Xreader fanfic in my fandom tends to be. Not kind to the female main characters, Lucille especially. And again, that's fine; I'll just avoid those fics. But it lead me to assume, clearly incorrectly, that most CPeak Xreader writers hated my Best-Beloved Blorbo, and therefore were unlikely to stick around once I made my love for her clear.

(Why I didn't think about other types of XReader writers...I can't say. Fandom laser-focus, I suppose.)

Now, clearly I was wrong- that commenter is a CPeak Xreader writer and at least tolerates my immense desire to blanket-burrito Lucille like a hissing kitten enough to actually read my fanfic. It's for them that I'm answering this, not you; however that post came to my attention, it's still worth sharing, and they shouldn't be punished for what some anon with a bug up their ass does.

@nbraraeaves: I appreciate you sitting down to tell me why your preferred form of writing is meaningful and enjoyable to you. Thank you for your comment. While XReader will probably never be my thing- honestly, more because I want the characters to be with each other and not me than out of any perceived Inherent Failing of the medium, above tags notwithstanding -I can understand your perspective on it much better now. I hope it continues to bring you joy for a long time to come

@Anon: you may now retreat to your hidey-hole, proud and secure in the knowledge that [checks notes] you got a random person to stop being a little bit disdainful towards your favorite fanfic genre on the Internet. your gold star will be arriving in 3-5 business days

[autumntouched]

Tumblr Crash Course/Welcome

I'm still not over learning some of you joined tumblr because of Talk to Me 😭😍🥹

**Please excuse any terms I use incorrectly and feel free to correct me 🫠 I’m becoming my mom with my slipping grasp of technology 😭 **

Sorry, this site isn't the most intuitive, but I find it much easier as a writer to interact with readers here. I love that people can send me private messages/chats with their thoughts 💗 If you’re new, here's a little TGM fandom tumblr crash course:

First, I love this fandom. The writers are so talented but also incredibly kind. You may see us occasionally have meltdowns around "likes" and interactions, so I'll start there…

There are a lot of things about tumblr that don't make it entirely user friendly, including not having a "save" option for posts that you want to come back to. Enter the "like." On most other social media platforms, a like carries weight. On tumblr, a like can feel ambiguous to a writer because of its dual function as a bookmark

Therefore, generally, the best way to communicate your appreciation for a fic is to reblog it (to raise its visibility) or comment (to let the writer know you read and appreciate their work). If you’re looking at a post, the “reblog” option is the square of arrows. A window will open for you to add a comment and/or gif and/or image and/or Tags. Tags can serve as comments and/or a way for you to organize the the content you’re interacting with (helpful if you want to find it later). Once you post, the reblog appears on your blog for your followers to see

A “comment” can be left with a little speech bubble. Note that a comment goes on the original post, so if the writer is adding to a post that they’re reblogging, you have to tag their blog for them to see it. Apologies, not the clearest explanation, but you’ll get the hang of it!

But not every reader is comfortable with that visibility! Anonymous “asks” are a great way to share a little love. The option to send an “ask” is at the top of a writer’s blog if their asks are “open.” It’s usually a button with some clever way of saying “talk to me.” Lol, which is mine as a nod to Phoenix’s “Talk to me, Bob.” Just dropping a note, a screaming gif, a heart to say “i love your work” means the world. If you’re requesting something, it’s nice to lead with some kind of acknowledgment to the writer. Know that the writer will reshare your thoughts publicly though! So make sure to switch to “anonymous” mode before you start writing so you don’t forget when you post 😊

Also, personally, my messages are always open, and I love hearing from you there too!

That said, even with those varied options, saying anything can be a huge and terrifying stretch for readers, and that’s where I don’t really have an answer 💗 What can I say? When you give up time and important aspects of your life to put words to screen, it helps to know and feel that time is well spent. But I also want this space to feel welcome and open to everyone so demanding that people engage in a certain way, and in any way that is harmful to their well-being, is not conducive to everyone feeling safe and included. A communication work in progress, I guess 😅

I hope you stick around long enough to feel comfortable engaging but if not, I still hope my stories bring you joy 💗 I’ve had to de-prioritize writing quite a bit for the time being but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wanting to get to know you all or thinking about you as I’m going about my day or cheering you on when I know you’re going through a tough time or also an amazing time. Life can be pretty rough, so I try to live by the motto “be kind.” I hope you feel that here, and I’m so grateful for the connections I’ve made through our shared love for TGM

xx

[lordwoolselytaxservices]

I need to… vent(?) about something for a moment so bare with me.

I see on a pretty regular basis “Reblog if it’s okay to make art of your fan fic!” Or “If you want people to interact with your OCs, you need to make content about them!” Or “Make content/art/fanfic for your OCs for you! Not for others!” And though I understand the sentiment, and I don’t think any ill will is intended, it’s kind of disheartening when you already do those things and get zero traction.

It makes me feel very much like a little kid who’s begging her mom/dad/etc to please just look at this thing I made at school today because I’m really proud of it and I like it and them just ignoring me or scoffing.

Absolutely I make the content (I hate that word but honestly, it’s what it is) for my OCs for myself. 100% I do. I created them for me. But when I share that with others and nobody looks, that’s such a downer to feel like nobody wants to share in your joy with you about something you’ve created. It makes it hard to participate and share in fandom when you always feel like the weird kid that everyone ignores.

I’m not always great at interacting either, even among my friends I have a hard time keeping track of everyone’s characters and traits and things they say about them. But I do try to the best of my ability. What I can say though, at least for me, is that it’s a lot easier to interact with other people’s character/content/etc when there is also a shared interest in what I’m creating.

I’m not perfect by any means so take everything with a grain of salt. But it just makes me sad because even just a couple of years ago there was so much more positive interaction and it seems like every time you turn around these days people are just asking for simple interaction but everyone is so drained and there’s so much fighting within fandom more than there is for the happiness it brings us.

Maybe it’s the elder millennial in me, but it always gives me pause when I see people just bare knuckle boxing about the most minute things. Why can’t people just like what they like? If you don’t like it, then don’t interact with the content in that capacity and move on. Very few of the subjects I see at the core of the discourse that goes around are things no one will give two shits about within a year, definitely not within a couple years or longer. It’s not something that will affect the health and wellbeing of others, it’s just a difference in opinion. Why let it bring you down and enrage you so much when you could just ignore it and enjoy it the way that you see fit and let others do it the way that they choose?

Social media did a wonderful thing by allowing us to connect. But when that connection becomes a reason for people to be hostile towards others because they think that character would never like this character and you say they’d be best friends it’s honestly so disheartening. Have your opinions, have your preferences, headcanons, what have you but just let others have their own and respect that fact that you see it differently and it makes no difference because it doesn’t apply to you. There’s an old(?) saying: “if the shoes fits.” If that shoe doesn’t fit you, then it wasn’t meant for you. And you don’t need to rage reblog/comment because it doesn’t. Just move on and appreciate it as a difference in opinion. I’m not saying some of it isn’t valid or problematic. I’m just saying that a lot of it in the grand scheme of things isn’t worth the energy that people but into it.

Fandom saved me when I was in a really dark place. To watch it die the way that it has been just makes me so incredibly sad and depressed. I certainly don’t have any of the answers but I hope that some day it can get back to what it was: a place for people to share in the joy that it brings them and to share in the joy it brings others.

(I’m totally not traumatized by the examples mentioned either 😅)

[whataperfectwasteoftime]

Okay so here's the thing and why I am reblogging this with an obnoxious comment instead of just voting and boosting...

I love this story. You have heard me go on and on about it many times, and I'm over the MOON that you are working to finish it even though you're leaving the fandom (🥺🫂). I love what you've done with Marcus’s character. It makes all the sense in the world with what we know about his personality canonically that he would get into a fucked up situation like this and hurt somebody irrevocably.

That being said, I'm not sure which way to vote 🥺 On the one hand, I want you to write the story you *want* to tell. The original idea didn't wrap up nicely in a bow, and I love that about it. It's messy, fucked up, and so angsty that it makes me want to die. And I love every word of it.

On the other hand, I don't want you to feel obligated to finish this fic and then write an entire sequel fic when the fandom isn't bringing you joy any more and you are actively phasing your blog out and transitioning to a new blog and moving to the next stage of your life 💕 You didn't have to finish your WIPs either, and yet you are, and that's incredibly sweet of you and very kind and selfless and not at all required for you to do. I appreciate it more than words, because this fic is the best Marcus Pike fic I've ever read, period. The premise is incredible and I love that he's a flawed, sad little meow-meow and I cannot express the way love it other than to say I have read and re-read this steaming pile of angst over and over again just to feel it all over again.

Foli, I'm going to vote option number two because that's where my heart truly is, but I want you to know that if finishing this in it's epic entirety isn't something that brings you joy or worse, actively stresses you out, I want you to know that you can wrap it up quickly (or not at all babe, I promise we'll be okay).

Your writing has been a JOY to devour. You were one of the first people I discovered on here years ago and I've been a fanatic for you ever since. 💕💕💕

So in regards to Run to You, the ending of it plays a huge part as to whether or not it gets a sequel. I don't want to spoil it, so I'll just throw it up as a vote for you to decide on and call it a day.

(The sequel would go straight up on Ao3 as I'll be leaving this space behind and only focusing on writing over there, but I'm more than happy to come back briefly to notify you when it's started ❤️)

[yehet-me-up]

Turning the page to a new chapter 💕

TLDR; this is my swan song/goodbye and thank you post for Tumblr 🥲 

I won’t be deleting my account or anything, so you can still find all my work on my Masterlist or in chronological order here! And you can check out my (obsessively compiled lmao) EXO support/info post here 😄 

I’ll be checking my inbox/messages here on and off for the next few weeks, so please feel free to hit me up on here for a bit longer 💕

I’ve been on tumblr since college, probably 2008 or so? At least a few years before Superwholock dominated the ENTIRE platform haha. I left sometime around 2015 and joined again in 2017 after lurking for a few months. This is the first thing I reblogged on here and it still brings me great joy. I was definitely a VIXX fangirl before EXO swept in like a wrecking ball and dominated my life. 

I heard about kpop in 2014 from a co-worker and really got into it in a big way in late 2016 during one of the hardest depressive episodes of my life. I wrote and read fanfic in high school and college (lord of the rings, harry potter, MCU, etc.) but had no idea there was anything like that for kpop until I randomly found a tumblr fic through a google search about a BTS MV in early 2017. I was shookt. I hadn’t written fanfic in years but something about this community, especially in 2017 during the heyday of a lot of groups, pulled me in like a riptide haha. 

After reading for a few weeks I finally started writing again in the Denver CO airport (a fic that will never see the light of day again ;alksjdf;laks) and posted on here the following month after deciding I’d do this just for fun and just for me. Spoiler alert: it got a bit bigger than that 😂 I have met some of my best friends on here. I’ve written so much that I’m proud of and this journey helped me write one book and get started on another. And I got to meet and interact with so many wonderful people about music, travel, writing, and life in general.

I have had AMAZING experiences - live chatting and screaming with everyone when BTS performed at the AMAs in 2017, waking up at the ass-crack of dawn for EXOs Obsession album release, losing our minds about VIXX LR’s incredibly 👀 MV for whisper with the first group of friends I made on here, and so much more.

The relationships I’ve made on here, the memes and lyrics and fics and rude gifs of biases, the fan theories and enlistment announcement support groups, have all seen me through some of the hardest years of my life. So many of the groups have moved onto other things or drastically changed after this long. Gotten married, retired to pursue other things, started solo careers, had kids, and completely taken over the entire world haha. 

It’s always been about the music and everything that comes with it, but much more than that it’s been about the people in this community. The relationships and the creativity and the support. It started out being about kpop and (forgive me for going all after-school special on you all) it ended up being about US. 

For all that and more, I’m so thankful for the 4.5 years I’ve been here on kpop tumblr. I know people have left the community for various reasons, the least of which is tumblr and its seeming insistence on driving everyone off the platform, but I hope the next phase of kpop tumblr/kpop community will be new and exciting in different ways. 

I just wrapped up my biggest and longest running fic (exo mall) and I think it’s time to say goodbye and to end things on a high note 💕 

I’m so looking forward to writing in the future, just in new formats and in different ways. I’ll still be around on discord, so feel free to message me if we aren’t already connected there or on KKT! You can always find me through the @exoasis community on discord, too.

To everyone I’ve ever fangirled with, shared fics with, sent attacking gifs with, I’ll miss you 😭

We talk a lot about what it’s like to be a creator on here and truly every single like, comment, reblog, message, moodboard, and tag reaction has meant the WORLD to me. No matter how you engage with content on here - as a creator or a reader - you’re important. I hope you enjoy your stay here on kpop tumblr no matter how long it is <3 and I hope you always put yourself first and know how incredible you are. 

Take care of yourselves and take care of each other. I am so grateful to have been part of this and I truly wish you all nothing but the very best. Big hugs from me always 😘 Especially to @yeoldontknow @gingersaysjump​ @kyungseokie @yixingminseokjongdae​ who I’m lucky enough to bother on an almost daily basis 💕😂

And to KJM, who will never see this lol - thank you for everything. You’re the brightest star in my sky and I wouldn’t have made it through these past four years without you as my compass. You deserve the entire world. 

[the-pale-goddess]

Choices Fandom Shoutout Day

Thank you @choicesfandomappreciation for organizing this wonderful event! 💗

Our little circus aka Open Heart fandom is still alive and well because of all these lovely people who still support fandom creators, devour their stories and motivate them to keep posting their works. You’re the real treasure and deserve to be celebrated every day ✨

I’d like to take the opportunity and thank every single person reading and interacting with my word vomit - I wouldn’t be here without you! I’m so grateful for you all, for all those months filled with laughs and tears, creativity and kindness, for every single comment, message and moment we shared together. You deserve the world, I love you ❤️🌹

A special shoutout from the bottom of my heart goes to some incredible individuals whom I love and adore endlessly:

@blossomanarchy my fellow Witch of Tumbroke, my multitalented Queen, my angsty muse and my forever bestie, hyping me up whenever I need it ❤️

@terrm9 the loveliest angel to ever grace this Earth, mom goals, a brilliant storyteller and an even better friend ❤️ her fic reblogs deserve their own masterlist because they’re pure art!

@lem-20 my multitasking Queen, my amazingly talented friend and my most active confidence-booster ❤️

@mvalentine my soul sister, the first person I’ve met on this hellsite (affectionate) and one of my biggest supporters ❤️ Her extraordinary talent and generosity have no limits!

@estellaelysian my fellow Asgardian, one of the most creative and sweetest souls with superb drawing skills ❤️

@maurine07 an angel, a true gift we’re not worthy of, an absolute wonder ❤️ Her support and reblogs cure my depression, I know them all by heart

@anonymousrookie such a precious and talented soul, always brightening up my day ❤️ Compound Fracture is happening because of her!

@rosebudde one of the loveliest and most supportive people I know ❤️ always looking forward to her comments and thoughts!

@takemyopenheart my fellow Virgo Queen! Mix infinite kindness and immense talent and she appears ❤️

@forallthatitsworth one of the brightest parts of this fandom is this lady, her generosity, kindness and the ability to always make me smile ❤️

@quixoticdreamer16 a true gem, her support and wonderful spirit bring so much joy to everyone ❤️

@utterlyinevitable the OG Angst Queen, our fandom genius and the founder of OHFFs❤️

My OG Angsty Anon - Drunk Lord Ethan AU is here because of you ❤️

@perriewinklenerdie ❤️

@tsrookie ❤️

@heauxplesslydevoted ❤️

@thegreentwin ❤️

@barbean ❤️

@coffeeheartaddict2 ❤️

@schnitzelbutterfingers ❤️

@jamespotterthefirst ❤️

@drethanramslay ❤️

And a bonus shoutout to my beloved mutuals who are not active on tumblr right now, but have my heart forever and I can only hope to reunite with them at some point:

@writinghereandthere ❤️

@starrystarrytrouble ❤️

@mercury84choices ❤️

@irisofpurple ❤️

@anntoldst0ries ❤️

@stygianflood ❤️

@udishaman ❤️

@justanotherrookie ❤️

I tried to include as many important people as I could think of, but obviously I’m thankful for every single one of you - those who have been with me & my babies since the beginning, those who have left, those who have only visited, those who have just found my blog, those who interact and those who don’t, you’re all cherished and appreciated 💝

[thedeathdeelers]

Happy (belated) 6 months! 👻💕

(also a belated MOTIVATION MONDAY post)

i know it’s a week late but i was just straight up overwhelmed last week with all the love pouring in. i just needed time to process. (also i have major procrastination problems)

first off i just want to thank every single person i’ve ever interacted with in this fandom. every single person who’s interacted with me just by liking my posts or reblogging then and adding lil comments in the tags (i read every single one and they bring me an immense amount of joy- like i don’t think you understand. an incredible amount)

i genuinely don’t think i’d have stuck around this long if it wasn’t for how much people aren’t scared to just straight up interact with you and let you know how much they enjoy what you post (i’m still reeling at the idea that you guys enjoy my nonsense and aren’t ready to unfollow me the minute you see another ‘SOULMATES’ post. i just??)

and i can’t make a post like this without mentioning the mind-blowing talent in this fandom - from the art to the theories to the HCS to the fics - there’s always something new, everyday and its honestly the only reason a lot of us are still here holding on for a second season. so thank you thank you thank you to all the artists and writers and just content creators in general 🥰

There are so so so many people that deserve their own post their own paragraph and their own lil message of love dedicated to them, and i will try to send separate asks to different people at random times just to surprise you. for this post i’m going to tag as many people as i can because there are just so many of you and i appreciate you all ♥️ whether we talk or we interact via posts or if i just regularly see you in my notifications, just know you’re all such a big part of my experience on here and in this fandom in general 🥰 as i’ve said so many times before, i have the memory of a goldfish so please don’t feel bad if you’re not tagged below - my experience on here really wouldn’t be the same without you

thank you from the bottom of my heart ♥️

@molinashimbos, @smolfangirl, @tmp-jatp, @brightattheorpheum, @moreflowersthanweeds, @sunset-sweeerve, @ghostiesblog, @tonightthestarsalign, @tangledstarlight, @phantomsandsunsets, @pink-flame, @star-astro, @blush-and-books, @bluefirewrites, @ourstarscollided, @sunsetcurvecuddles, @lukesorangebeanie, @a-chaotic-ananas, @thesunsetcurvephantom, @unsaidjulie, @ruzek-halstead, @nervousmiracletrash, @ace-bookworm, @jelazakazone, @serendipitee, @hologram-ghost, @juliemolinaandherfantoms, @trevor-wilson-covington, @fiddlepickdouglas, @cantputitintowords, @futurearchaeologyprof, @understandably-odd, @alexjulies, @brightjulies, @phantom-sunset, @phantom-curve, @jawesomesauce, @thedragonemperess, @echocharm17618, @thereigning-lorelai, @gaylebcovington

[bookwyrminspiration]

WAIT. I'm late to the party but I just remembered all those anons were sending in "why I send you asks" and their reasons and I actually really want to participate, so I hope you will accept late applications?

The reason I send you so many asks is because you've just...built such a nice feeling that anything can be discussed, and it's never too niche or cringy or boring, and that's really relieving and amazing.

I'm sure you (along with many others) have realized by now, but I suffer from....really bad anxiety, both social anxiety and just in general, and it very often gets in the way of my life. Because of this and past experiences, I'm always very scared and hesitant to talk about my interests and my thoughts on anything.

But every time I've sent you an ask, even if it was, in retrospect, probably really annoying to read through the one hundred "sorry"s and "my bad"s, you've always been nothing but kind and interested in my ideas, and that was just...so surprising. Because I never really knew anyone who was willing to talk about anything, and it was just...really amazing to meet someone who was! Especially because I love and am interested in so many different things and kind of need someone to bounce ideas at. And it was really cool to see someone that was unashamed of their own interests and thoughts, but didn't make others feel bad for having different ideas.

Every time I send you an ask, you always have something interesting to say back. Something I hadn't thought of or considered, or a query that would make me rethink my own theories, or just a very well-thought-out answer to a question. I remember sending in tons of asks about the wings AU before it was released, and writing those was probably the highlight of my day, because I knew you'd take them and run with the ideas, and do your best to match my energy, and I was really grateful for that. And you were always willing to dig deeper, to think "but what if there was more?" and that's just...incredible! I don't have any other word for it!

I love sending you asks because you don't dismiss an idea or deem it as stupid, and you're just...such a kind and wonderful person that can make even the most obscure subject infinitely more interesting than before, and you never fail to make me consider things again, to expand my thoughts and views, and I'm really grateful for that.

So, because it should definitely be said by now, thank you!

And, well, that's why I love sending you asks :]

- pyro

there is no timeline so there's no way to be late! and I'm answering this a few days after you sent this, so if you believe yourself to be late then we can both be late together :D. you are fully welcome to participate if you want to (which you said you did)! it was mostly just a random question I had because i'm just as analytical with myself as I am with keeper, and knowing how other perceive and think of me is helpful for that--and I was curious about how i'd aquired so many asks so quickly, and then you all just turned it into complimenting quil hours for some reason !! (but on to your ask before I get even more distracted)

(note from a quil who has answered all of this: got very long so that's why there's a readmore! i love you /p)

this means so much to me--specifically your use of "built" because I do try pretty hard to maintain a positive atmosphere and welcome everyone in and treat everyone with the same attention. it didn't just fall into place, i try to be encouraging to everyone and support all the amazing work--art, writing, ideas, etc--I see from people. (note: i've been wanting to do a thing where I ask for fic/art/other recommendations from others (can be friends or their own) so i can go through and reblog a bunch of them with comments and the like, I just want to get through more of my asks before I start something like that). But you're right--nothing is too niche! there's so many details in the story it's impossible for one person to notice anything, so people bringing up the obscure and their own thoughts makes the story richer and more fleshed out for everyone else! and i think it's really cool to just see what other people focus on (like I said, my analysis isn't limited to characters, but I'm not like dissecting you all to understand each of you in a creepy way or anything. I just like to get a better sense of someone so I can respond in a way more tailored to them when we interact)

anxiety can really suck, so as someone who also has anxiety i am giving you a comforting hug if you'd like one. it genuinely impacts everything you do and think about, rewriting how you experience life. a single, inconsequential experience to someone else can literally change major aspects of how we think, which makes interactions so scary sometimes. i remember things people said years ago and still base my actions around them, but those people have absolutely no recollection of ever saying it, but just the fear of having done something wrong once permanently altered my thinking. (this is not to make this about me, I'm just trying to show I understand by sharing an experience of my own).

reading through all your "i'm sorry"s and "my bad"s wasn't annoying and never will be. you have never had anything to apologize for, and I know that sometimes you feel you need to enter a conversation and first apologize for being there, but I'm thrilled to have you here and always love seeing you in my inbox. I don't know how to articulate this properly, but I'm going to try. i saw your apologies and your apprehension as...a puzzle? that's absolutely not the right word but I can't think of the right one so please let me explain (I don't mean to imply you're like something to be solved or a problem in any way. words can be difficult and I'm trying to describe something very intangible rn, so I hope this doesn't sound bad). I didn't see it as annoying (you're never annoying), I saw it like it was something to work through, and while it's not my job or anything to help other's with their personal problems, it was like if I could just provide one space where I could encourage you (not just you, but anyone) as a friend to try shifting your language and start thinking of yourself more positively, then I wanted to give that.

because I am interested in your ideas! and I want to be kind and welcoming to you! but I also want you to be kind to yourself, so any impact I've had to give anyone a safer, less scary space is really cool. I don't know if that made sense, but I'm not trying to talk down to you or anything or be like I'm this high and mighty figure harboring lost souls or something, just that connection is important and I like being there for people. kinda worried that sounded bad because it feels worded strange but I'm trying to reciprocate and say i appreciate you and am happy to talk about anything!

i love bouncing ideas back and forth and you are more than welcome to say anything and everything you're thinking about. talking to you is always an absolutely joy and I get so excited when you send me an ask and when you're reading my response, because it often feels like this like...buzz? like we're just vibing on this frequency and it makes it so much fun to throw ideas back and forth and just listen to each other talk. i am very glad to have surprised you and met you! I don't know a lot of people like myself either, so having someone like you interact with me and just go all out on these little things and what we personally like about different parts of the so much fun. a lot of the other people I know irl feel like they just scratch the surface, they say things just to get credit for it and to appear like they know what they're talking about while ignoring all these other things that have such an impact, so it's amazing to have found someone else who looks at everything and anything like I do. my brain really is "a little bit of everything all of the time" so knowing you have so many different interests too is really cool. i am giving you an internet high five and pretending you aren't so far away.

I spent so much of my life being quiet when I had so many thoughts, so now that I have this kind of outlet I just! want to say everything I can! i want to look at everything from every perspective possible! the world is a huge collection of things tied together and I love following the strings to find the connected pieces! but I think that's a way of approaching the world not a lot of people share (I could be wrong), so it's really cool to hear you think my thought process is interesting!! my brain is practically composed entirely of questions. any subject at any time of the day and nearly all of my thoughts are just wanting to know more and trying to understand things, so having that opportunity to ask further questions and just learn things (about what other's thing, how things work, etc) is so much fun. you might've seen me ask some questions of other's in a few of the asks I answer, but those barely scratch the surface of just how many I have. my handle is in_quil_sitive (inquisitve) on nearly every social media platform (except for this one) for a reason.

I remember some of your asks from before the wings au was published, too. those were absolutely incredible, and I got a rush of excitement every time I saw you sent another. those were the the highlight of my week, too!! your enthusiasm and excitement for something I hadn't even posted yet gave me so much motivation to continue and you helped me think through so many future ideas and consider things from new perspectives. i know i specifically wrote that you inspired one chapter in the notes, but you've had an impact on every single chapter of this story/ it wouldn't be what it is without you, and I mean that with complete sincerity. you were the one who made me think "what if there was more" so I could make this au even better and work towards something bigger. I just have so many thoughts about everything all of the time, I can't go more than a few minutes without being distracted by a different train of thought, but knowing there was someone who would want to hear all the weird, disjointed ideas i'd strung together and composed into a more cohesive format was so cool. there's just so much to think about!!

I probably sound repetitive at this point but I love answering your asks because you're so receptive to the way i say things and it's like you're actually listening and want to hear what I specifically have to say, not just the general ideas. you want to know my unique, personalized opinions and perspectives and don't just dismiss them when they're not what you expect to hear or aren't generic. you're incredibly kind, too, I hope you know. I love the description of how I can "make even the most obscure subject infinitely more interesting than before." that is such a meaningful compliment to me. I just keep thinking about this line over and over again and it just...it really means a lot. because you're saying it's me that interests you and not just what I talk about. I could talk about anything and you'd still want to interact with me and that's so fucking nice. I hope you know the same goes for you. we can challenge each other's thinking together and make things even deeper and more complex before together <33.

thank you for being here and being my friend, pyro. talking to you is always one of the highlights of my day and gives me a very positive feeling that I carry around for a while. I do this thing sometimes where I film myself to later observe my behaviors in the middle of intense emotions to understand myself better (back to that whole analysis thing again), but it's not just negative things, it's also when I'm really excited or pleased with something and jumping around and stimming and all that, and some of those are from when I interact with you. that might sound a little weird but I mean it positively, as in talking with you makes me ecstatic.

I have said. so many things. so I will stop (for now). but I really appreciate having you in my life <33

[terrm9]

what does the USED TO WRITE in your description mean ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

😂❤ sorry for making you angry, anon!

I didn't want to turn this into a thing, considering how tiny this blog is, but I suppose it is fair to let you know

Yes, my days of writing (or rather posting) are over.

I made the decision almost immediately after posting The Ray Women, which I wanted to post because the fic is close to my heart (and I am so grateful to everyone who liked, commented or reblogged the fic. So very grateful)

Every stage of life, no matter how amazing, must come to an end and in my case, the end came now.

I will miss creating Chiara Ray terribly. I know I will and I will be the happiest if you guys remember her from time to time. But I will not have a chance to miss Ethan or OH in general, for I know how many amazing, brilliant writers are here to bring the characters to me.

As I said, this fandom is filled with so many talented, wonderful writers and creators that not only write fics but also manage to create all those original text edits, Picta edits, moodboards or drawings. It just doesn't feel like my chaotic writing can bring that much of an asset anymore and that is absolutely alright.

I will remain here as a reader and supporter, the No.1 fan of all of you guys❤ I honestly believe that I am capable of spreading more joy and love as a supporter, rather than creator. Also, my inbox is always, always open to anyone, if you just need to rant or vent or if you feel lonely and without anyone to talk to - I will be here. I cannot guarantee to help you, but I can promise to listen, to care and to never ever judge you, no matter what.

I thought about labeling this as hiatus but deep down I know that the hiatus wouldn't be broken. Well, except maybe if OHTY goes on its own hiatus and I feel the urge to create another AU series to fill that time - it all started with Already Gone series for me, after all.

I want to thank each one of you that has ever read my works or just my personal rambling, commented on fics or reblogged them, to those that has sent asks about Chiara or my writing in general. All of you have made me incredibly happy, filled with love and joy and I will never forget the gratefullness I have felt towards you in these 6 months of posting on Tumblr.

I love you all with my whole heart and I cannot wait to read all those splendid works I am sure I will get to read. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything.

(Adding my taglist to increase the chance of everyone being aware)

@takemyopenheart @maurine07 @senseofduties @mercury84choices @flightlessbirdiee @udishaman @ohchoices @adrex04 @queencarb @archxxronrookie @whatchique @drariellevalentine @gryffindordaughterofathena @mvalentine @doilooklikeiknow @custaroonie @secretwolfdreamertree @jamespotterthefirst @starrystarrytrouble @caseyvalentineramsey @whimsicallywayward15 @iemcpbchoices @stygianflood @tsrookie @fireycookie @canigetanawwjunk @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @the-pale-goddess @sophxwithers @uneravine @casey-v

[writeraquamarinara]

as with everything else in life, I’m late to making this post. I tend to make one around Jan 1st every year, but it’s now a few days after that, and all i can say for myself is that time is non-consequential during a pandemic, right? right.

anywho, this is my usual “thank you for keeping me going this year” post, but with even more fervor. 2020 would not have been nearly as tolerable without you all in it. and when i say all i really do mean all. thank you to anyone who follows me here or has read and supported my work on AO3 or has sent me a message or an ask or even just likes my posts. you can never know how many people’s hearts you’ve touched, lives you’ve made better, but i’m telling you now: you made me smile and laugh and feel love in a year that could have easily stolen all that. thank you for sticking around.

a few more specific shoutouts are under the cut to keep from flooding your dashes. i hope you’re all having a wonderful start to the new year.

much love, mari

to @anniemurphys: ria, i cannot thank you enough, for so many things. you played such a vital role in turning this year around for me. your friendship, and the friendships you’ve helped me make through book club, kept me smiling from week to week. i never wanted to leave our meetings, no matter how long they’d already gone. I could listen to your literary analyses and life advice for days on end. you’re such a kind, patient, loving person, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. here’s to another year of freaking out over taylor swift albums and the power inherent in voluntarily turning oneself into vegetation.

to @bigdsgirl: heidi, you’re one of the sweetest, most hard-working people i know. you amaze me, and you graciously humor my latest hyper fixations—somehow always knowing, always reblogging content related to what i’m obsessing over at the moment. you give such great advice and have such a calming presence that i love being in chats and on calls with you. i cannot wait for more zoom movie nights in 2021.

to @hellodinoflower: raptor, you’ve supported me for so many years now, and whenever i feel down about my writing i’ll go back through the comments on some of my old fics and yours always make me tear up. you’re so thoughtful and kind and excited about my work that i cannot help but be the same. i hope you enjoyed the little dino reference in pride & publishing—i tried my best, i really did—and i hope you’re doing well. sending you so much love.

to @soyforramen: soy, i promise i’ll get to your head canon asks some day. i promise i haven’t forgotten them; i’m just uncreative and uninspired, but what else is new. you, however, are brilliant and kind and thoughtful, and your guidance in making both life and fic-writing decisions has been so important to me this year. wishing you so much luck with school this year, and even more happiness.

to @ithoughtyoulikedmereckless: rach, where to even begin? you’re the person i talk to when i’m feeling happy or sad or annoyed or angry or pretty much anything, really. our FaceTime convos are my favourite, no matter what time of day we have them at (somehow, the ones at 10pm are just as crazy as the ones at 3am, and i don’t really understand how or why, but i love that for us). i’ve learned so much about myself through my conversations with you, and you keep me level headed when i start doubting myself too much. you understand me on such an amazing level and i’m so lucky that you reached out to me so many years ago. i’m so lucky that we just happened to find each other on here and just so happened to move near each other this year. i still cannot believe i get to see you in person and go on walks in the woods with you. you’re such a talented photographer, writer, painter, baker, and all around artist; an incredibly kind and funny person; and i aspire to be you. i’m rambling now, but just know that i love you.

to @catthecoder: lav, my light, my love. seeing your icon and username on my dash makes me smile so hard. you just give off the best vibes and chatting with you always leaves me feeling like i’ve been basking in the sunlight for the past few hours. we need to make a resolution to sprint with each other more often this year, even if 2021 is going to be as hectic as ever, as i find so much joy in reading your snippets as we go along. you’re such a wonderful writer, and i often read your gift to me from years ago for inspiration and comfort. i hope you’re doing well and am sending so much love.

to @stirringsofconsciousness: stirrings!! i know you’ve had a super busy year, but you still made time to chat with me and i’ll be forever grateful. i often think about the advice you’ve left for me and the thoughtful responses you’ve given to my personal posts and find so much inspiration in your own words and actions. i also still cannot get over the time when you sent me a post of artful vases because you thought of me when you saw them. mortifying ordeal of being known who? anyways lol, i just wanted to thank you for being in my life and wish you a happy 2021.

to @heavy-lies-the-crown: alex, i just wanted to thank you for putting your time and energy towards answering my incessant questions this year. you’ve been an inspiration to me as a writer ever since i first found your work, but you’re also an inspiration to me as a person, and i’m always thinking about the advice you’ve given me. i hope you had a wonderful end to 2020, and that 2021 brings you even more joy than seeing your posts on my dash brings me. much love.

to @stonerbughead: maria, you brought so much happiness to my 2020. your support for my work took my breath away every time, and I swear I nearly cried when I saw your latest comments on pride and publishing. you put so much time and energy into this fandom, and into supporting the people in it, and I hope you know that it doesn’t go unnoticed. we all love you, and we’re so lucky to have you; your fics are brilliant, your podcast highlights are a joy to read, and your disdain for ras is hilarious. thank you for being you. sending lots of love.

to @sullypants: sully, it’s been years and i still marvel at how lucky i am to know you. you’ve taught me so much, from how to be more thoughtful to how to navigate therapy and self-love to how to be a kinder person in the world. you introduced me to ask polly and you send me really nice asks and you’re one of like four people who interacts with my posts on a consistent basis, which makes me feel a little less alone in the world, if that makes any sense. i’m going to stop myself from rambling on or else i might cry, but i just wanted to thank you for—here comes the cliche—changing my life (doesn’t everyone we meet change our lives, in some way or another? but you’ve changed mine considerably, and for the better). sending you so much love (in the form of both yellow and blue heart emojis)

to @justcourbeau: mel, our paths cross less frequently now than they used to, but that doesn’t mean i don’t think about you and the conversations we’ve had, or smile when i come across your posts on my dash, or when i happen to open up instagram once in a blue moon and see you’ve posted on your story. please never stop sending me sparknotes memes—especially cask of amontillado ones. your words of advice from the night i called you, distraught, a few years ago live in my brain rent free, and i will continue to carry them into 2021 with me. i hope 2021 treats you well, and that you achieve all you want and more. sending you an immense amount of love.

to @protectorofthesmoll: your string of comments on pride and publishing made me cry multiple times, i swear. i still read them back every so often, when i’m trying to muster the courage to start up on the new chapter. your support means so much to me, and it amazes me how far back it goes: I’m pretty sure I have at least two asks of yours sitting in my inbox, from back in 2018 when I had barely any followers or supporters, both of them writing prompts that I never filled. i promise i’ll get to them one day. anywho, i just wanted to thank you for your support this year, and every year before that. wishing you so much love and happiness in 2021.

to @panalegs27: 2020 was the year of figuring out that we have so much in common: a hatred of dating apps, confusion over tumblr’s obsession with the raven cycle, and an attraction to logan lerman with gray hair. thank you for chatting about all of these things, and more, with me; seeing that you’ve sent me a post always makes me smile, and our conversations make me laugh. wishing you even more love and laughter in 2021.

to @indiebughead: maria, it’s been so lovely getting to know you more over the course of this year. i love listening to your stories and living vicariously through you, lol. (i want updates on new neighbor boy, asap!) thank you for listening to my petty rants and for encouraging me to make bad decisions and be salty on main when i want to be. i couldn’t have asked for a more supportive conspirer ;) sending lots of love.

to @redundantoxymorons: iz, you’re one of the smartest, most eloquent, most supportive people i know. i know 2021 will be both stressful and exciting in many ways, and i wish you all the best. i know you’re going to thrive wherever you end up, and i’ll cheer you on as you navigate this new world, just as you’ve done for me all these years. i’m so lucky to have you as a friend, supporter, and beta, and all of our conversations bring me so much joy. pls continue to gush about taylor swift and rec books and send uquizzes with results that make me feel Known in 2021. i love you very much <3

to @cracklr: leda, i’ve missed your passive aggressive smiley faces, but your gushing insta comment more than made up for that, i promise :) sending you so much love and happiness in this new year <3

to @dottie-wan-kenobi: dottie, the posts we send each other make me so upset, but in a good way—the “if i just had to see this nasty shit then so do you” kind of way—and i love that about our relationship. who else would understand how disgustingly hilarious something is other than my wife? no one, that’s who. i often think about how you were the first friend i made in fandom, and i’ll be forever grateful for that: i couldn’t have found a better person. i love you so much, and am sending you all my love.

this list of shoutouts is really much shorter than it should be, but my brain is currently friend and i cannot seem to think properly anymore. therefore, i’m going to call it a day and reiterate my above statements that I love you all, and I hope you have a fucking amazing 2021.

[shadyladyperfection]

The New Year Fic Writers & Readers Ask Game 2020

 I was tagged by @homoose and @specialagentsergio for this, thank you so much ❤️

FULL DISCLOSURE: I got carried away with the fics that lifted my spirits this year and basically turned this into a fic rec list. And it is a long long list, so just brace yourselves, I guess? I put it in the end so you won’t have to read it 

What was your biggest writing/reading achievement this year?

Okay, I have always been a silent reader. For some weird reason, I couldn’t bring myself to interact with a fic or the writer. So, I guess my biggest achievement would be letting the writer know how much I enjoyed reading their work. It counts, okay?

What did you learn about yourself as a writer/reader this year?

It is so SO important to leave comments or reblogs on fics or any medium of art that you enjoy. I’ve been a silent reader for years, okay? And while likes help, letting someone know that their writing made your day or completely gutted you will make them appreciate you like no other, and I say this from experience. Creators are simple people and deserve all the love you can give them. Even a keyboard smash helps, btw. 

Did you dive into something familiar or try something new this year?

I started reading Criminal Minds fanfics this year, does that count as something new? I don’t know. 

What are you grateful for?

Personally? I’m just glad my family and I got through the pandemic so far while staying healthy.

Reading wise, I am forever grateful fanfiction exists because it’s the only piece of literary work I have been able to read consistently.

Have your style (writer) or tastes (reader) changed this year?

I was not an avid fluff reader. It sounds weird and I always say I hate angst but I tended to gravitate more towards stories that left me aching rather than reading fluff, so I think that has changed.

What’s the first thing you want to read or write this year?

My textbooks would be nice 😂 But uh, I’d like to work on this story idea that I have had for month now.

Anything you want to try in 2021?

Like I said, writing my own fic would be nice but I know me so I’m good as it is 😂

Do you have any fic resolutions?

Not really, nope 

Share a comment (if a writer) or story (if a reader) that lifted your spirits this year?

Ooh mama, I have so many fics and I am going to list them all. Yes I am. This is in no particular order because I am messy like that and I am not even going to try and keep the list short. Bear with me, or not. It’s up to you. Also, I only added fluffy masterpieces here otherwise I’d have over 600 fics here and I am lazy xoxo

 Starting with @justfangstvdto  ‘s  Waking up to Klaus painting you imagine. This is an all time favourite. Open Coffin is also, one of her best works!!

@moon-light-jukebox ‘s Angel is very close to my heart and I also enjoy Morning Coffee because who doesn’t love a coffee shop AU?

@imagining-in-the-margins has so many fics to choose from. It’s like a reader’s nirvana  Anticipation  Impromptu  Pumpkin   Fairytales Sunflowers   Sweet Cherries   Breakfast Run  

@erin-bo-berin writes the cutest Dad!Spencer fics (great smut too but we’re not talking about that here) I’d start with Cabin Fever and Cupid 

@definitelynotkatesblog ‘s 6 AM and Something to Cry About have a special place in my heart

@veraiconcos ‘ Kiss it Better  was the first Criminal Minds fic I ever read so it’s special in its own way 

@gubler-me-up  is very difficult to choose from but Fact Check would be my pick 

@mggpleasedontlookhere ‘s Helping  Heart and Insignificant Being are absolutely delightful!

I read @criminalmindzjunkie ‘s Unlucky in Love weekly for clear skin 

Promise Me by @gayouijaboard is a gem, I swear.

@zhuzhubii has an extensive list of amazing writings but I had to pick so here you go- Sleepyhead About Ethan (a little angsty but worth it)  I think i love you and hugging you

A Lick of Paint ,  Moi Je Joue and I Would Do Anything You Asked Me Too   by @differentkettleoffishalltogether are technically smuts but I feel nice after reading them and that’s what is important 

@brywrites ‘ Focus  Flight Risk   Happy Tears    Troublesome    and frankly, everything they’ve written is wonderful!!

@specialagentsergio ‘s Sweater Weather   Baby Kiss it Better  and Last Christmas  are all amazing 

@spacedikut ‘s entire masterlist is a delight and it is hard to choose, okay? But I did anyway    how to ask a girl out   you look good   nurse reid   words that wound   the disaster dream date  (Hotch says, “They’re our idiots.” What more reason do you want for reading this fic?)   everything happens for a reason   the very insecure dr reid 

Also @matthewsbitches is rewriting Criminal Minds with the reader as Gideon’s daughter, you should read that as well!!

@reidscanehand  is another writer whose every work is just an incredible read. I am pretty sure I have their entire masterlist linked here: Line of Fire  Twenty Percent   Cooling Our Heels  In the Shadow of Harmony   That Tiny Instant of Eternity  The Statistical Probability of Falling in Love   Rather Ardently

Atlas  Happy Birthday Genius  Hype Man   Lighthouse  and A Very Moosey Ficmas  by @homoose  fill me with so much joy, every time. I also love TMSIDK 

@dreamwritesimagines ‘ Twisted is a brilliant story with amazing twists and turns but does not hold back on the angst. Like, at all. D likes to make people cry. But she’s also one of the sweetest people on here <3

Tagging: @ineverhaveanynormalfans @girls-andcats @moon-child-writer @spencerscoven and everyone mentioned above