#Euston Meadow

[thomasmannia]

“Nature has but little clay,” said Mr. Bankes once, much moved by her voice on the telephone, though she was only telling him a fact about a train, “like that of which she moulded you.” He saw her at the end of the line very clearly Greek, straight, blue eyed. How incongruous it seemed to be telephoning to a woman like that. The Graces assembling seemed to have joined hands in meadows of asphodel to compose that face. He would catch the 10:30 at Euston.

Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

[7r0773r]

To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf

'Nature has but little clay,' said Mr. Bankes once, hearing [Mrs. Ramsay's] voice on the telephone, and much moved by it though she was only telling him a fact about a train, 'like that of which she moulded you.' He saw her at the end of the line, Greek, blue-eyed, straight-nosed. How incongruous it seemed to be telephoning to a woman like that. The Graces assembling seemed to have joined hands in meadows of asphodel to compose that face. Yes, he would catch the 10.30 at Euston. (pp. 32-33)

***

They came to [Mrs. Ramsay], naturally, since she was a woman, all day long with this and that; one wanting this, another that; the children were growing up; she often felt she was nothing but a sponge sopped full of human emotions. (p. 36)

***

How then, [Lily] had asked herself, did one know one thing or another thing about people, sealed as they were? Only like a bee, drawn by some sweetness or sharpness in the air intangible to touch or taste, one haunted the dome-shaped hive, ranged the wastes of the air over the countries of the world alone, and then haunted the hives with their murmurs and their stirrings; the hives which were people. Mrs. Ramsay rose. Lily rose. Mrs. Ramsay went. For days there hung about her, as after a dream some subtle change is felt in the person one has dreamt of, more vividly than anything she said, the sound of murmuring and, as she sat in the wicker arm-chair in the drawing-room window she wore, to Lily's eyes, an august shape; the shape of a dome.

This ray passed level with Mr. Bankes's ray straight to Mrs. Ramsay sitting reading there with James at her knee. But now while she still looked, Mr. Bankes had done. He had put on his spectacles. He had stepped back. He had raised his hand. He had slightly narrowed his clear blue eyes, when Lily, rousing herself, saw what he was at, and winced like a dog who sees a hand raised to strike it. She would have snatched her picture off the easel, but she said to herself, One must. She braced herself to stand the awful trial of someone looking at her picture. One must, she said, one must. And if it must be seen, Mr. Bankes was less alarming than another. But that any other eyes should see the residue of her thirty-three years, the deposit of each day's living, mixed with something more secret than she had ever spoken or shown in the course of all those days was an agony. At the same time it was immensely exciting. (pp. 58-59)

***

For now [Mrs. Ramsey] need not think about anybody. She could be herself, by herself. And that was what now she often felt the need of — to think; well not even to think. To be silent; to be alone. All the being and the doing, expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; and one shrunk, with a sense of solemnity, to being one-self, a wedge-shaped core of darkness, something invisible to others. Although she continued to knit, and sat upright, it was thus that she felt herself; and this self having shed its attachments was free for the strangest adventures. When life sank down for a moment, the range of experience seemed limitless. And to everybody there was always this sense of unlimited resources, she supposed; one after another, she, Lily, Augustus Carmichael, must feel, our apparitions, the things you know us by, are simply childish. Beneath it is all dark, it is all spreading, it is unfathomably deep; but now and again we rise to the surface and that is what you see us by. Her horizon seemed to her limitless. (pp. 70-71)

***

Everything seemed possible. Everything seemed right. Just now (but this cannot last, [Mrs Ramsey] thought, dissociating herself from the moment while they were all talking about boots), just now she had reached security; she hovered like a hawk suspended; like a flag floated in an element of joy which filled every nerve of her body fully and sweetly, not noisily, solemnly rather, for it arose, she thought, looking at them all eating there, from husband and children and friends; all of which rising in this profound stillness (she was helping William Bankes to one very small piece more and peered into the depths of the earthenware pot) seemed now for no special reason to stay there like a smoke, like a fume rising upwards, holding them safe together. Nothing need be said; nothing could be said. There it was, all round them. It partook, she felt, carefully helping Mr. Bankes to a specially tender piece, of eternity; as she had already felt about something different once before that afternoon; there is a coherence in things, a stability; something, she meant, is immune from change, and shines out (she glanced at the window with its ripple of reflected lights) in the face of the flowing, the fleeting, the spectral, like a ruby; so that again to-night she had the feeling she had had once to-day already, of peace, of rest. Of such moments, she thought, the thing is made that remains for ever after. This would remain. (pp. 119-20)

***

And it struck [Lily], this was tragedy — not palls, dust, and the shroud; but children coerced, their spirits subdued. (p. 169)

***

What is the meaning of life? That was all — a simple question; one that tended to close in on one with years. The great revelation had never come. The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one. This, that, and the other; herself and Charles Tansley and the breaking wave; Mrs. Ramsay bringing them together; Mrs. Ramsay saying 'Life stand still here'; Mrs. Ramsay making of the moment something permanent (as in another sphere Lily herself tried to make of the moment something permanent) — this was of the nature of a revelation. In the midst of chaos there was shape; this eternal passing and flowing (she looked at the clouds going and the leaves shaking) was struck into stability. Life stand still here, Mrs. Ramsay said. 'Mrs. Ramsay! Mrs. Ramsay!' she repeated. She owed this revelation to her. (pp. 183-84)

***

One must hold the scene — so — in a vice and let nothing come in and spoil it. One wanted, [Lily] thought, dipping her brush deliberately, to be on a level with ordinary experience, to feel simply that's a chair, that's a table, and yet at the same time, It's a miracle, it's an ecstasy. The problem might be solved after all. Ah, but what had happened? Some wave of white went over the window pane. The air must have stirred some flounce in the room. Her heart leapt at her and seized her and tortured her. (p. 230)

***

[Mr. Ramsey] was reading very quickly, as if he were eager get to the end. Indeed they were very close to the Lighthouse now. There it loomed up, stark and straight, glaring white and black, and one could see the waves breaking in white splinters like smashed glass upon the rocks. One could see lines and creases in the rocks. One could see the windows clearly; a dab of white on one of them, and a little tuft of green on the rock. A man had come out and looked at them through a glass and gone in again. So it was like that, James thought, the Lighthouse one had seen across the bay all these years; it was a stark tower on a bare rock. It satisfied him. It confirmed some obscure feeling of his about his own character. The old ladies, he thought, thinking of the garden at home, went dragging their chairs about on the lawn. Old Mrs. Beckwith, for example, was always saying how nice it was and how sweet it was and how they ought to be so proud and they ought to be so happy, but as a matter of fact James thought, looking at the Lighthouse stood there on its rock, it's like that. He looked at his father reading fiercely with his legs curled tight. They shared that knowledge. 'We are driving before a gale — we must sink,' he began saying to himself, half aloud exactly as his father said it. (pp. 231-32)

[temenosjournal]

on a walk was i

on a walk was i

on pathways i’ve beenthru a meadow, by a streami was yesterday

[theageofthemovies]

SOMERS TOWN - (Shane Meadows, 2008)

Two teenagers, both newcomers to London, forge an unlikely friendship over the course of a hot summer. Tomo is a runaway from Nottingham; Marek lives in the district of Somers Town, between King's Cross and Euston stations, where his dad is working on a new rail link. The boys are both infatuated with the same girl and pass their days bickering over which of them loves her the most. One day, finding himself homeless, Tomo surreptitiously moves into Marek's apartment but it's only a matter of time before Marek's dad discovers what's going on...

 Shane Meadows effortlessly crafts a poignant tale that addresses the obstacles youngsters face when making the transition from child to adult in this film that I consider one of the best of this millennium’s beginning. A fresh, objective, tough, sometimes striking, sometimes comic, but always com-passionate portrait of two lonely boys desperately seeking for affection in an anonymous part of an unknown (to them) metropolis filmed with a style that reminds of Truffaut’s glorious early days and a story that (mildly) recalls “Les 400 coups”. Young actor Thomas Turgoose—who I much liked in “This is England” (2006) —is an engaging lead, ably supported by newcomer Jagiello, consolidating Meadows' reputation as an great director of younger actors and the marvelous B&W cinematography by Natasha Braier's depicts and reveals a part of London that's not been seen in decades (till some masterpieces of New British Cinema), providing an exquisite backdrop against which this intensely involving drama plays out. And, despite the comedic, exciting tone of the final scene (filmed in raw color with a handheld Super-8 camera), the viewer is let to reflect about “what” will be the future of the three Heroes after the movie’s end.  

r.m.

United in Paris.

[pumpkinspicelexatte]

*puts on scientist goggles* EVERY QUESTION

           Random and personal questions  Redacted abusers from history     

1. Name:Amy Brianna Rose Meadows

2. Birthplace:Worksop

3. Ancestry: I have zero idea but apparently i have some irish family lol is all i know

4. Zodiac Sign: Gemini

5. Biggest fear:Tied between getting older and people I love abandoning me

6. Strength/Weakness: Loyalty/Stubbornness

7. Worst habit:Eating salt packets whole?

8. Favorite holiday: Halloween I guess?

9. Ever been in a car crash: Nope

10. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: So many times

11. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house: Check tumblr lol

12. Age at first kiss:25

13. When did you fall in love for the first time: I wanna say 11 ish?

14. Who Is Your Longest Friend & How Long:

15. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be happier

16. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sending my girlfriend a birthday message and listening to the new paramore album

17. When was the last time you laughed hard: today with @janes-nature-garden “I guess you just have internalized drumphobia”

18. Who was the last person that told you they love you: @allisbornagain

19. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up yesterday morning: yesterday as in thursday i guess, either @allisbornagain is so cute or why are there chickens

20. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with: I guess the cinerma with my first ever girlfriend grace when i was like 13 lol

21. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen:I have never

22. Who did you see in concert first:Thursday when they opened for MCR

23. Who was your favorite teacher:Jemma my college biology twacher

24. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day: @allisbornagain or @janes-nature-garden

25. Who do you think about most: @adorablyamy or @allisbornagain or @janes-nature-garden

26. Is your ideal occupation?  If i didn’t suck at it a writer of some kind

27. Beer, wine, or liquor? I guess wine

28. Favourite restaurant? Firezza in soho is amazing but i’ve been to so many good places recently

29. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Dairy free soy vanilla

30. McDonlads or Burger King? Burger king

31. Fantasy dinner guest(s)? Alexa bliss, Poppy, Lana del rey, Hayley williams

32. Have you ever been drunk? When was the last time? lots of time, Probably the night me and jane did karaoke

33. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? probably karaoke with Jane lol

34. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman? I have no idea

35. How many pets do you have? Does a vulpix count? :p

36. What would be the first thing you bought if you won the lottery? A house so i could live with my girlfriends

37. When was the first time you smoked? Technically age 2 or 3 lol

38. Who last sent you a text? Jane

39. Who did you last send a text to? Jane

40. What 4 things would you take to a desert island? Sattelite internet, water purifier, phone , solar charger

41. Name the 3 most important people in your life? @allisbornagain @janes-nature-garden @truetrashsoulrebel

42. Favorite song? Right now it’s idle worship by paramore

43. Favorite movie? The disappearance of haruhi suzumiya

44. When did you last cuddle someone? today

45. When did you last have sex? I guess technically wednesday although weird feels lol

46. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? Internet stuff for money lol

47. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? That i’ll never be able to be a girl

48. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be? I have no idea

49. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go? I guess there’s one online one where i still love them a whole lot and i just can’t get past it

50. Where would you take a road trip? I have no idea

51. How do Mondays feel for you? alright

52. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them? i dont know

53. Do your practice ‘self love’ or ‘self loathing’? self loathing mostly lol

54. What’s your greatest achievement to date? Escaping an awful abuser?

55. What scares you about your future? Money and fascism

56. Why does pizza come in a square box? Because delivery bags are square?

57. What would happen if you knew you could not fail? no idea

58. How does it feel to be photographed? nice sometimes

59. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose? A certain night in november

60. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’? Nope bpd is hell

61. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others? I’m kinda bad at just trying to please others

62. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life? Something useful and good like volunteer

63. What are you thankful for, this moment? Actually feeling like i have a chance to live

64. Do you have same sex gender fantasies? Always

65. If you have had sex in a public place, where? Not quite but there was a bus station with em

66. Have you ever cried during/after sex? lol yep

67. Who is the oldest person you’ve had sex with? 27

68. Who is the youngest person you’ve had sex with? 21

69. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a totally dominant partner? as a polyam i can choose both right? :p

70. How tall are you?    6′3 ish

71. How much do you weigh? I have no idea, I avoid because ed related reasons   

72. What color is your hair naturally?     dark blonde/ light brown?

73. What size jeans do you wear?    16?

74. What is your favorite color to wear?  pink or black  

75. Do you have any piercings?     nope

76. Do you have any tattoos?    nope

77. Do you care how other people see you?    very yes

78. Do you like sports?    eh not really, thanks to certain podcast hosts i have a slight interest in mma lol

79. How do you feel about age differences in relationships?    mostly fine as long as everyone is over 18 although huge age differences particularly way older men scream creepy power dynamic

80. How do you feel about race differences in relationships?    why would that be an issue????

81. Do you believe in karma or fate?    very yes

82. Do you keep a journal?    nope

83. Describe the last dream you remember:   making out with a tumblr follower, although one i interact more with on twitter lol

84. Describe your favorite dream:    

85. Where are some places you would like to visit?    Arctic to see aurora, Japan with em tbh

86. Any upcoming concerts you want to attend?    not really

87. What music do you listen to when you are happy?    paramore, lana , poppy

88. What music do you listen to when you are mad?    paramore , lana, poppy, melanie martinez

89. Do you like to burn candles or incense?    not really

90. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?    wine

91. What are your favorite alcoholic beverages?    prosecco is good atm lol

92. Do you smoke cigarettes or cigars? What about marijuana? only when jane gives me them :p i have before

93. Who is your number 1 friend and why is he or she there?    All my friends are good, but i guess Jane has a best friend feel?

94. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?   nope

95. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? a few

96. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath? seems dangerous :p I’d fall in the shower lol

97. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex gender?I have only

98. Do you think your last ex still wants to be with you?ew

99. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you?no cause thats all i’ve done , well mostly , i’ve dated some nb people

100. What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual people? Amazing

101. How often do you brush your teeth?Daily, thanks exec dysfunction

102. How often do you shower?  When was the last time you had a shower? most days , today

103. How often do you shave your legs?weekly?

104. Political affiliation? not sure

105. Opinion on abortion? let people do what they want /need with their bodies

106. Opinion on immigrants/ immigration reform? immigrants are in no way a bad thing

107. Should prostitution be legalized? very yes

108. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? if i could choose? like 19

109. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Capitalism?

110. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? make men not in charge

111. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Something involving looking after pets?

112. Would you break the law to save a loved one? yes

113. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? italy seems nice i guess?

114. Why are you the person you are? Abuse and trauma?

115. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Kinda although im super needy

116. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? they don’t really,

117. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? do my comfort things in public, be visibly trans

118. Were you happy when you woke up today? not really

119. What’s a fact about the last person who text messaged you? she laughs at the tube station euston cause of euston we have a problem

120. Want someone back in your life? Not anyone who would be good

121. What are you excited for? My chewable necklace thing

122. Are you scared to fall in love? not any more thanks to @allisbornagain

123. When is your next road trip? never?

124. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? message em?

125. Do you like to cuddle? very yes

126. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours? I’ve kissed two people within five seconds of each other

127. Plans for tomorrow? Rest i’ve been told

128. Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? can’t care too much so just enough

129. How is life going for you right now? okay to good in different aspects

130. If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept? sure

131. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? probably @catnip-brownies :p

132. Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? yep

133. If you could have one super power what would it be? shapeshifiting seems fun

134. Background on your cell phone? Me jane and em

135. What are you thinking about right this second? Girlfriends

136. Last book you read? How was it? The sigh of haruhi suzumiya  pretty good

137. What is the last thing you bought? food

138. Do you live with your parents? nope

139. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? nah my parents never cared

140. Have you ever met a celebrity? nope

141. What are you like when you’re drunk? fun and loud

142. What are you like when you’re high? emotional

143. Do you want children? idk

144. Do you want a church wedding? idk

145. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

146. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope

147. Who was your first real crush? Lauren styles a blonde girl who moved to where i lived from croydon,

148. What are you allergic to? some antiallergy meds

149. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Meadow Meadows

150. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? girl prolly

151. How did you get your name? i chose it , inspired by someone who saved me

152. Name one thing about your body you love? My butt is pretty nice

153. What is your biggest goal in life? be happy and help people I care about be happy

154. Do you still have feelings for your ex? is hate a feeling?

155. Do you think aliens are real? yeah

156. What age did you start drinking? I guess 14 on a school trip to italy?

157. What do you think of President Obama? I don’t know enough about politics nevermind american ones

158. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yep , nearing 6 months and 5.5 months with my gfs :)

159. Describe your dream girl/guy? furryish cute, weird, gay

167. Favorite fictional character (movie, book, tv show)? Weiss schnee right now

168. How many followers do you have on tumblr? What about twitter/ instagram? 1274 , 215 ish , 50

169. Are you friend with your parents on Facebook? hahahahahhahahahahhahahah no

170. First time you thought you were in love? When did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person?

171. Do you talk to yourself? Always, in the third person referring to myself as aimz , amyface, amykins or aimster lol

172. How old will you be on your next birthday? 26 ew

173. How did you meet the last person you kissed? On tumblr

174. Do you have any hickies?i have never

175. Turn ons? girls

176. Turn offs? boys

179. How many siblings do you have?  one sister

180. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity? ew yes

[omgtaxtwerk]

The ultimate commuter villages – less than an hour from London

Author: the-telegraph-fin-yahoopartner

It’s a well-trodden route for many families who have had enough of battling the daily journey on the Tube and the sharp elbows found at the gates of the capital’s most popular schools, and who yearn for more space.

The big move (abbreviated to “BM” around many London dinner party tables) to the countryside becomes the obvious next step. For some it’s embraced with excitement, for ­others with trepidation.

One sure-fire way of sweetening the pill for the most reluctant commuter is to find somewhere that offers good affordability and to make sure the journey itself is as short as possible – as well as providing all the trappings of village life to make that big move worth it. 

Research by Savills has analysed the best commuting villages around London which have a mainline station with a direct train link to the capital in less than an hour. To qualify, they must be true villages, complete with amenities such as a post office, community hall and a pub (with bonus points for a thatched roof).

Surrey loses out when it comes to ­affordability: no fewer than seven of the top 10 most expensive commuter villages by house price values are found in the county, with Oxshott and ­Cobham occupying the top spots. “You have a perfect cocktail of transport ­options,” says Charles Broadbent-Combe of Savills. 

Instead, look to Essex, Kent and Buckinghamshire for a mixture of value and speed – and those all important village features.

The need for speed: fastest village commutes

It’s often the case that journeys from the outer zones of the Tube network into the centre of town will take longer than moving out and commuting back. These are the top three villages with services to London terminals taking fewer than 30 minutes. 

Welwyn North, Hertfordshire

Journey to King’s Cross: 21 minutes

Average house price: £464,000

Season ticket: £4,364

In pole position, if you catch the 07.59 train to London King’s Cross, the journey takes just 21 minutes, making it the fastest commuter village, according to Savills’ research. The station serves the village of Digswell, which lies on the northern boundary of Welwyn Garden City. It has a primary school rated “Good” by Ofsted in 2017, and shops include a butcher and convenience store.

It’s also home to Digswell Lake Society, 17 acres of woodland and ornamental parkland (open to members only) and Digswell Arts, which supports emerging artists in Hertfordshire. Hamptons International is marketing Tewin Lodge, which dates back to the 18th century and stands on the banks of the river Mimram, for £1.6 million.

Six bedroom home in Denham is £3.5m, with Savills

Denham, Buckinghamshire

Journey to Marylebone: 25 minutes

Average house price: £514,000

Season ticket: £2,516

A favourite with commuters not only for the train but also access to motorways and Heathrow Airport, Denham attracts “professionals moving out of London but not yet ready for the full ‘welly brigade’ move to [rural] isolation”, says Sadie King of Hamptons International in Gerrards Cross.

“I refer to the Thames Valley/Chiltern countryside as ‘soft’ country where you can still have easy access to a cappuccino or latte.” Dubbed a “celebrity village” thanks to previous residents Sir John Mills, Sir Roger Moore and Cilla Black, it has two golf courses, three pubs, a post office and shops. It falls within the catchment area for Buckinghamshire’s grammar schools.

Old Farm Cottage in Hersham is £825,000, with Hamptons

Hersham, Surrey

Journey to Waterloo: 26 minutes

Average house price: £578,000

Season ticket: £3,024

Hersham – with its 26-minute journey into London Waterloo and road links to the A3 and M25 – comes in third position for the fastest commute. Large enough to have a Waitrose, Hersham sits on the edge of Walton-on-Thames and has a large village green. There are also open riverside meadows.

“It’s popular with growing families as Hersham has some excellent state and private schools”, says Vincent Dennington of John D Wood & Co in Weybridge. He is selling a five-bedroom, newly refurbished house in Westcar Lane for £1.4 million. 

Best value commuter villages

It’s pretty much a given that somewhere that offers this commuting idyll of a village life and a short journey back into London brings attendant increase in house prices.

However, Savills has uncovered some village destinations that buck this trend. They aren’t all blessed with duck ponds, cricket pitches and thatched-roofed pubs overlooking verdant village greens, but they nevertheless offer better affordability (compared with the capital), an easy commute back to town, and that all-important taste of country life.

Easterfields in West Malling is £1.185m, with Savills

East Malling, Kent

Journey to Victoria: 58 minutes

Average house price £350,000

Season ticket £6,184

At 58 minutes into London Victoria, this isn’t the shortest journey time to the capital but would be a good choice for anyone looking at the holy trinity of a manageable commute, a more affordable house and a village lifestyle. Lying just outside the M26 and M20, and set among hop fields and fruit orchards, East Malling is “centred around a stunning stone church which is surrounded by listed buildings,” says Chris Doe of Fine & Country in West Malling.

The agent is marketing a four-bedroom Thirties-era house for £1 million. There is a significant number of new-build houses, adds Andrew Harwood of Strutt & Parker in Sevenoaks. “With good pubs and a village fete in the summer, it’s not quite Archers-esque – but something in-between.” Primary and secondary schools in the area are good but the nearby Maidstone grammar schools are the main draw. 

White Notley, Essex

Journey to Liverpool Street: 58 minutes

Average house price: £358,000 

Season ticket: £5,520

Set in undulating arable farmland, in the Brain Valley, midway between the towns of Witham and Braintree, the village ticks several boxes: it has a small primary school (rated “Good” by Ofsted in 2017), a pub, post office, village hall and 10th-century church. According to Paddy Pritchard Gordon of Knight Frank, it “attracts professionals who need easy access to the City such as bankers, consultants and lawyers”.

He describes it as a “quintessential English village” which is “beautifully located in the middle of the countryside”. A period house with a big garden will range from £750,000 to £1.1 million. Local agent Beresfords is selling a recently built, four-bedroom house for £650,000.

GREAT ESCAPE: Narrowboats moored at Cheddington, Buckinghamshire Credit: alamy

Cheddington, Buckinghamshire

Journey to Euston: 44 minutes

Average house price: £415,000

Season ticket: £5,232

This village was made infamous as the site of the Great Train Robbery when, in 1963, £2.6 million was stolen from the Glasgow to London mail train at nearby Bridego Bridge. Set deep in the heart of the Aylesbury Vale, this pretty village boasts plenty of period houses including thatched cottages, as well as Victorian and Edwardian stock.

Because it is located deeper into the countryside, it offers “more bang for your buck”, says Edward Ruggles-Brise of Knight Frank in Berkhamstead. There’s a café that is the “heart of the village social scene,” he adds. It’s also in the catchment area for grammar schools.

Source: Savills Research, Land Registry, National Rail

Author: the-telegraph-fin-yahoopartner

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[temenosjournal]

looking for wild things

looking for wild things

sunshine drew me there into the day, to Euston, to watch magic play

[temenosjournal]

To The Coves And Back Again

To The Coves And Back Again

[temenosjournal]

And So We Go On A Weekly Wear Out The Pop-Goes-The-Weasel Walk To Euston

And So We Go On A Weekly Wear Out The Pop-Goes-The-Weasel Walk To Euston #MyChihuaha #519Dogs

Unfollowing we will go, unfollowing we will go, heigh ho, bye bye get lost, Unfollowing we will go.

I know this stuff wasn’t around when you were alive… never-the-less… just imagine if could curate the news, get rid of the things you didn’t want to see, add things you do, simply and instantly. That is sort of, kind of social media in a nutshell. Basically, instant access, right there, all day…

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i

love

random

accidents

you do not intend

that peek one’s imagination

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the accidental photo i love random accidents you do not intend that peek one's imagination

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October 18, 2017

November 11, 2017

April 26, 2017

August 27, 2017

And so I returned once again to that little woods at Euston Meadow, as I had to see it just one more time before all the leaves fell. I had been meaning to for days, but then we had our first snowfall and I knew the end was nigh.

Ever since I have wandered around in my soul trying to somehow capture the words to express how those trees make me feel, but alas, the spirits have not gifted me with a poem so pictures will have to suffice.

I wish I could transfer you there through your screen to this enchanted woods, so call this a virtual ‘forest bath‘, as that is how it always feels to me, as though I have been blessed. I hope you enjoy this autumnal finale.

Walks In The Woods And so I returned once again to that little woods at Euston Meadow, as I had to see it just one more time before all the leaves fell.

[temenosjournal]

    Euston

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I was asleep when the phone rang, when the nurses at the hospital called to say, “its time”. So about 20 minutes from now, as I write these words, 20 minutes and 5 years, it will be.

And how time has danced by, with new friends, new home, new me.  I received the anniversary notification last month, which marks the day I registered with WordPress, but the first post didn’t happen until October 26th of that year, 2012.

February 2010

In those first days after, grief gripped my voice every time I said his name, every time I had to tell someone he’d passed away. So I blogged through my grief.

It started simple enough, but it became more. It became more than  the cottage, the lake, the woods, the gravel roads, the Alpaca’s, the old railway trail we found one hot summer day, that I returned to again and again, way, way back there in Never Neverland.

But here I am, writing still, but on this new little Chromebook, at the crossroads of this fair village within a city I’ve always wanted to live within, sitting here in my little snug, in Tim’s big wicker chair, across from Grandma’s velvet settee I’ve dragged everywhere over the last decade or more. And when I return home, my reflection in that antique glass of the mirror greets me. That long green credenza-like dresser we were given by neighbours, well it’s packed to its backboard with as much as I can stuff in. Irish now is asleep on the bed, the same mattress, you know, that Tim and I shared those last days of his life before he chickened out and escaped back to the hospital in town.

Dying’s hard, and I don’t blame him. It’s painful, and stubborn, and takes things from you, more than just life, it takes it’s time, sometimes dignity, and sometimes the control that once predominated, the iron-grip of lies and illusions are laughed at, thrown aside, like toilet paper. And hospitals have better drugs.

He didn’t last long once he’d made it to the hospital, but I refused to sleep there in the room, waiting. For that’s all it would be, and I just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t. And that hurt him, but it felt like ants crawling up my spine to be there. It felt like someone had a grip of my lungs, pushing at the valves of my heart, with my thoughts pacing those dark hospital corridors, nothing to do, but wait for it to be time. Wait. However, we didn’t have long to wait, things you dread always have a way of coming quicker then one would like.

So, here I am, watching the clock, tick, tock, as I was actually up this morning at 4AM, but it didn’t occur to me, till I gave up and decided to go make coffee, nope, didn’t occur to me at all what day this was. Till that first sip had reached my throat, the realization. Five years.

You know, I couldn’t even listen to my iPod till recently. All that music was the soundtrack of summer after summer, and bonfires by the lakeside, listening to Coyotes yipping across the dark lake, illuminated by the billions and billions of stars, dancing on its surface. Neighbour up with friends, guitars strumming ditties we all knew, laughter, lawn chairs ringed round, coolers at the ready, full of libation. Mornings at the kitchen table, watching the birds, as the dawn rose over the cedars that ringed the lake. Walks back behind the cottage, past the Hungarian Hall, out onto the road that now probably has cottages that line that part of the lake; there were just for sale signs back there 5 years ago.

I miss all that.

I miss those hidden back roads that lead to magical places, and those Alpaca’s with their goofy faces. I miss cresting the hill with Irish ahead, just the two of us, after those days of waiting for his death.

I miss the thousands of dollars he took from me. I miss the trust I had in humanity. I miss the security of my line of credit, and my credit cards. I’ve adapted, and truth be told, I think maybe the experience did change me for the better. I learned from him that people don’t really pay as much attention to the details, certainly far less than I once did. Sure, he used his knowledge for ill, but it taught me how to be less introverted. Far less all-consumingly self-aware.

Self Portrait – November 2012

And, I thought last night, that thanks be to whoever arranges these things, but thank god that first tooth fell out way up there. Facing one’s fears, like waking up with a tooth on your tongue instead of where it should be, well it doesn’t sting as deeply. It all changed me. All of it. I no longer weep, certainly not for lost teeth. It was always coming. Now I hardly think of them. I am humbled, but I’m content. I have a dental plan. I am more patient, I get angry less, I actually smile more too, go figure that, toothless grin and all. I grin that maybe no one but me really understands, but facing my fears is a smile that would have scared the crap out of me not long ago. I suppose my concentration now is just on other things. But I dress well, he made certain of that.

Well, truth be told, I am still cautious with those smiles, but they happen now much more frequently.

Maybe he took away all the security I gathered close, all the things that buffered me against what I was, who I was, what I wanted to be. He ripped off my mask, and with no remorse, stared me in the eye, and, well, metaphorically,  whispered to my soul: “you are weird like me, deal with it”.

And so I did.

Day by day, these past 5 years, I dealt with it.

So when I came back to the fold, when I arrived back here in my hometown, that Paula I had once been was gone. She had a missing tooth (hidden back then), and dyed hair. She wore clothes a dead man picked out for her and blessed be, she didn’t take the addiction to his Peruvian marching powder.

Today, the missing teeth are not hidden, the hairs not dyed and it’s long and flows down my back. I dress well and have a fine collection of scarfs to drape and tie for bling, and expensive jackets he found at Garage sales, with an eye for details I am still astounded by. I do not look the toothless sort, and I imagine it surprises people, and I like that. It makes me vulnerable, and saw a TedTalk by Brene Brown who said, “truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

Yet, for everything he took away, has over time been replaced with things no one can steal. For all the security he took, I made do with the realization that all that is mere smoke and mirrors. True happiness is not things, happiness cannot be bought on credit, nor held to close. Credit only gets you so far.

Simplicity is the mantra – happiness comes like the sunshine that glances past the walls of this old Victorian, hits my ferns, dancing off the giant Plantagenet Hosta’s, with their gorgeous crystal white lily blooms. It is the heady scent of Milkweed that drifts across Euston Meadow, as I pass by on my bike, well before dawn, to a job where they call me “mighty mouse”.

Happiness is realizing one has become a collector of bikes, and pathways that lead to magical places can be found right here in my hometown. It is the sunshine glinting off Irish’s golden coat, as she romps up the path before me at the coves. It is the wind in my hair, as I cruise down the Thames Valley Parkway bike trail that runs along the river through town, with my bike guy, that Crossroads Man I still don’t exactly know what to make of; but is weird like me, so that’s good. He doesn’t care about all the things I don’t have, and he feeds me steak and potatoes, as we dine among the chaos and his collectables, listening to Tom Petty’s greatest hits.

I can listen to that iPod now and share that giant collection of tunes with friends, as we sit around a bonfire, drinking beer, laughing and reminiscing on “when we first heard that song”, as nothing on it is post-2007.

But I miss it all sometimes, even him. I did, after all, love him, as much as I loved his lake and all the wild things that surrounded it. It spoke to what was at his core, and I still wonder who he could have been, should have been, and why he did what he did, was who he was, and lied about what he lied about. I still do. How does a narcissist come to be? Are they nurtured? Or was it just his nature to be a conniving piece of shite? Who knows, I certainly don’t.

Perhaps the greatest lesson from it all, probably the one thing that all the other things hinge on, is that I am no longer afraid to be alone. I have come to embrace solitude, and I found that peace within myself that I never knew was there.

Five years ago, today, he died, and that has made all the difference.

Weeping And Dancing And Grieving And Leaving I was asleep when the phone rang, when the nurses at the hospital called to say, "its time".

[temenosjournal]

Now, a couple tidbits that living with a narcissist taught me is first off, that any attention for them is good attention, they’ll take it all, any which way and Sunday sideways. Two, there can be only one, numero UNO, and that is their higher purpose to all else, contrary to whatever they say or bribe you with. And so here are some of those demons I mentioned, as this unposted post is a prime example, and not too surprised that Manafort has re-emerged over a month later accused of lying to the Special Counsel and thus breaking the rules of his plea agreement. Shocking! A liar lying? Unheard of.

With Sessions out and Whittaker in, the whispers have begun behind the curtain to feed all the rumpTus desires, as he so aspires to know, like the good little malignant narcissist he is,  having his very own patsy pawn, he can angrily tweet away hinting all his secret stuff, he’s in the club, watching all his little crooks and liar friends go down, all the while yellin’ ‘no collusion, no collusion’. Riiiight.

 Yeah, dude, that ship sailed, it’s a “conspiracy” now, try to keep up. But I doubt he cares, he just goes for the inside scoop, so he’s kinda easy to dupe. 

I have to wonder, seriously wonder, what exactly he expects to happen due to this insider/outsider Manafort maneuver, as this probe has gone too far for anyone to just sweep it away, lots of people know too much as one by one almost all the players from the campaign are being indicted, boom, boom, boom, and disparate pieces of the puzzle publically fall into place, of oligarchs wrapped up with this guy or that, bank records, emails, flippers are flipping, I do believe the jig is up, and so we wait. We wait for them newly minted Dems, and all the old gang, for the next Congress to sit, for mercury to go retrograde and the stars to align, who knows. Hopefully, the balance is put right and that one-party horse reined back from the brink, ol’rumpTus stinks. 

mMoooohAaaaaa { maniacal laughter }

From September 15th, 2018

To hear Guiliani and co talk, one would think this whole thing really does have nothing to do with the prez. So, chew on this;

Robert Mueller’s indictment of the fallen lobbyist is a masterful portrait of a craven man and his methods. But the chronology contained in the document filed this morning takes us right up to the eve of Manafort joining the Trump campaign, and then leaves the reader bursting with curiosity about what comes next. While Mueller has tied up all sorts of narratives about Manafort’s strange career in Ukraine, so many strands of the Manafort story remain maddeningly untidy. [ The Atlantic ]

Right up to the eve of, right up to. Now, so to get this straight, they want us to believe that the guy did all this stuff, from 2006 until 2018, if we include the last count of witness tampering, and so Manafort didn’t pull any of these tricks out of his bag for the rumpTus? Seriously, that’s basically what they are saying, in a nutshell. That all the influence peddling he did for Ukraine (the foreign parties in the 1st count of conspiracy against the United States), his association with a Russian intelligence official, and the whole Russian interests in Ukraine, all that just sort of stopped cold when he jumped on the rumpTus train? Kind of stretches the line of credibility, just a smidge.

At the very beginning of his time working in Ukraine in 2003, Paul Manafort was in the employ of one Russia’s richest men, an aluminum magnate named Oleg Deripaska. We lazily describe many Russian oligarchs as residing in Vladimir Putin’s inner circle. But in the case of Deripaska, that closeness is a documented fact.

{ … }

Manafort finally reached out to Deripaska, just after he joined Donald Trump’s campaign. In emails obtained by The Atlantic that Paul Manafort traded with an aide, Manafort proposed giving Deripaska special access to the campaign, with the apparent hope of making his debts disappear. [ IBID ]

Yes, and as the bowels of mitigated BS turns, and I could go on and on, but, pft, that cookie will crumble as it will, as nothing I say can change nor re-arrange the world to my will, just preaching to the choir. Though a little knowledge never hurt anyone, though one would think so in the Trump world.

So, by this unposted post point that circus down yonder south was getting tiresome, though not my disdain, and even though I have nary an unposted political post, as this one stands alone, I see the tide was turning, as was my stomach, midterm anxiety, perhaps. Anywho, here are some more unposted pics from September 15th, 2018. 

A 15th Too: The Man, The Guilty, And Euston Now, a couple tidbits that living with a narcissist taught me is first off, that any attention for them is good attention, they'll take it all, any which way and Sunday sideways.

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at play once again in a salacious meadow for the sake of joy

euston again at play once again in a salacious meadow for the sake of joy

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“I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, “Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.” 

 Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

It’s a few blocks away from me and half the walk is in getting there, Irish stopping to sniff out the ‘news’ left behind by other four-leggeds, which of course makes the walk more of a meander. 

So off we go forth to Euston, left, right, left, right, through the village, here a sniff there a sniff, across busy Wharncliffe, and left, and then left again, and off through the scrap metal bit (remnants of the past when this whole area was one great big garbage dump, with scrap dealers and old cars lying around, and who knows what else). Its protected now,  and recognized as significant, and basically because of all that environmental damage that was done in the past, Euston finally can now rest easy, renew, and maybe have a chance to become again what it was before it was abused and misused.  

Many come to nature with expectations, of pristine vista’s devoid of humanity, of grassy meadows and woodsy meanders off the beaten trail, and they ignore these little spaces of becoming. Of a neglected past when their value was merely for a place to put the refuse from our lives, and not as a refuge from our lives, a nook of wild, urban vistas off in the distance. 

“Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.” 

Robert Frost

There is a unique beauty these areas with a checkered past have, that are maybe now still too toxic to build on, but with some management can be left to their own devices, left to go wild, free to be, and isn’t that what we all want? Free to be? 

Our current Premier, Doug Ford, Ontario’s very own Trump lite, and of course his next obsession is destroying our fragile wild places, and those trying to be wild. Ontario designated certain green spaces some years back, to stave off the ever advancement of urban sprawl, to protect our watersheds and family farms, and ensure something is left for future generations to enjoy. Course, Ford and all his wealthy cronies, and all the rich suburbian conservatives that rarely if ever venture forth from their white-washed world, and are hell-bent on ripping it all up to fill their coffers with more shekels and they certainly don’t give a rats arse for protecting natural spaces. These areas hold no value for them, just wasted land that they could build something on. 

Climate science and environmental concerns are considered to be, conveniently,  just doctored up by some rose-coloured glasses libtards trying to make money, reflect much? So they have no probs, as Joni Mitchell sang, paving paradise to put in a parking lot. 

Disgusts me how short-sighted they are, and saddens me that so many areas are going to be lost before we can get rid of this demon spawn and their delusions of grandeur and wrongheaded destruction of anything that gets in the way of making money. 

This movement of alt-right nationalist anger and misinformed notions, at the whim of their destructive blindness, and a complete disregard for the natural world that they somehow have got into their heads is the enemy to be conquered, and somehow not important to the survival of our species. 

“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature — the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.” 

Rachel Carson, Silent Spring

And so I go for walks, bring my camera, and try to capture some of that beauty that the earth gives us, and share it. Her gifts, her blessings, her snow-covered meadows and leafless majestic trees, her golden grasses poking up through that blanket of whiteness. It’s my best tool, my finest weapon, my sharpest sword to fight this wave of disregard and ignorance that seems to have no mercy for anything that can’t be converted into financial gain. 

There are some that have become imprisoned by their own greed. Their unhappy lives have them angry and fearful, and there are those that would use that towards their own ends. In an ignorance self-imposed, they set out to destroy the very things that could heal them, restore them, and give them what that gigantic TV never can, that new this or that or whatever thing they think will make them better, never ever will. 

“Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty.” 

Albert Einstein

Lollygagging In The Urban Wilds “I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.” …