#Eternally beautiful regardless of what anyone else says.

[kismetconstellations]

♥ ♥ ♥

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi!! could I request Argenti, Boothill and Jing Yuan when someone tries to flirt with their s/o? I absolutely adore your writing btw!! Hope you're doing good!!

Boothill

Has a bullet with their name written on it and it was in times like theses where he wishes his shit hadn’t been tampered with, just so he could curse the bastard out for merely brushing shoulders either you.

Words such as:

Mother fudger

Heck

And Gosh darn it

Weren’t exactly going to scare the person flirting with you off with their tail between their legs but threatening to shot them would. However after the person had scampered off, Boothill would be subjected to you scolding him about threatening people for simply flirting with you, when there were other ways to do so without the inclusion of unnecessary violence.

Boothill can’t help it! He hates it when people flirt with his darling and he isn’t one for sharing you either, he’d much rather hog all of your time and attention for himself! You were his partner! Not everyone else’s!

‘Boothill.’ You said warningly.

‘What?’ He said as he tugged you into his side, keeping his arm at your waist possessively. ‘He was getting a little too cosy and I had to remind that fudging idiot to keep his hands to himself.’ He adds with a smirk, stealing a kiss from your lips.

His jealously stems from his own hatred towards his metal body, you could find someone else who could feel you in your entirety beyond from their face and head, unlike him.

‘I get that and I thank you for running them off, but you know you don’t have to worry about me looking at anyone else.’ You reassured him as you held his face in your hands and watched as his smile falters and his featured relaxed into your touch. ‘You’re all I want, you’re all i’ll ever need regardless of your inability to physically feel.’ You then pressed your forehead against his, feeling him push himself further against you in a selfish need to feel you. ‘You’re my handsome, handsome cowboy.’ You whispered.

‘I am your handsome, handsome cowboy.’ He muttered under his breath.

Argenti

He’s not jealous in the slightest.

He’s the most trusting in the strength of your relationship and you to even allow for an ounce of doubt to permeate his thoughts.

If anything he’d agree with everything the person was saying about you while adding onto it, making the person feel as though their attempts at flirting with you were useless, especially when the cherry haired knight beside you was casually waxing poetry on your ethereal beauty.

‘Indeed they are a beauty to behold indeed.’ He’d say as he knelt before you and held your hands in his all the while making sure his eyes remained glued on you as he spoke. ‘I’d kneel before their alter for the rest of eternity if it meant achieving the impossible and catching their gaze, they truly are my reason for breathing, the reason I see beauty whenever I travel, as they are the true beauty I have been seeking for my whole life.’ He finishes by kissing the back of your hands softly, his thumbs caressing the skin there as though they were porcelain.

The person who was flirting with you left not long after because how could they compare with that?!

All they said was that you were cute and Argenti took that and made you come across as though you were a deity lost to time, finally having been found after so long.

They knew they couldn’t win and left for easier people to pull their mediocre pick up lines on.

Argenti is your Gomez, you are his Morticia. There was no one getting between you two because the love you had was stronger than most.

Jealousy doesn’t exist when you actually trust someone whom you claim is half of your own soul.

Jing yuan

He finds the face they make upon realising who’s s/o they’ve been flirting with particularly funny to be even remotely jealous.

Not to say that he doesn’t get jealous, he does but it’s not nearly as evident. He’s self assured in his relationship with you that he didn’t even think of the person flirting with you as a threat even in the slightest.

‘I’m sorry to interrupt your riveting conversation but I’d like my partner back now.’ He’d say as he stood behind the person flirting with you.

‘Look buddy I found them,’ the person looked behind them, and upon realising who was behind them, the words of annoyance were quickly discarded as they could only stare at a smiling Jing Yuan, ‘first…’

Jing yuan raised his brows as the Cheshire smile on his lips only grew at the evident regret across their face. ‘Hmmm? Cat got your tongue? You seem a bit pale, maybe you should go sit down and rest.’ He suggested and watched in amusement as the person didn’t fight back, but instead wordlessly followed his instruction and walked away for you both to go somewhere else.

‘You’re having too much fun with this.’ You’d tell Jing Yuan as he placed a hand on the small of your back and guided you out of the establishment.

‘What can I say, their expressions may be the same every time but that doesn’t stop them from being more humorous than the last.’ He replies with a chuckle as he presses a tender kiss to your forehead. ‘However I cannot blame them for finding you as appealing as I do if they’re so desperate as to flirt for your attention.’ He adds and you huff and crossed your arms. ‘As if you were any different.’

Jing yuan raised his brows, silently telling you to continue.

‘When you wanted my attention, you would sit next to me and rest your head on my shoulder before falling asleep.’ You added and Jing yuan chuckles. ‘I didn’t-‘

‘All. The. Time.’ You cut him off, emphasising each word that left your mouth. ‘Yangqing told me that you only did that to me, no one else got that special treatment from the all mighty general.’ You smirked at Jing Yuan who muttered a soft ‘Yangqing.’ under his breath as you held onto his side. ‘It doesn’t matter now because I thought it was extremely cute.’ You reassured him with a kiss to the cheek as you both walked home, tucked closely against one another, the events that happened prior having completely been forgotten as you reminisced the past.

[xoxochb]

yooooo happy 300 followers!!!! I’m so glad we’re moots <3

Anyways I’m requesting I LOVE YOU, I HOPE THAT YOU’RE OKAY with Leo Valdez and Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA if that’s cool, and if you haven’t ever written anything with that song before

ok, have a nice day!

⋆·˚ ༘ * don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me!!

warnings: idk how to feel about the ending but that’s it

pairing: leo valdez x daughter of poseidon

leo wasn’t one to get jealous, he was never like this before, but once you started dating things had been different. every time you tried to even speak to another man leo would classify as ‘attractive’ he would come over and wrap an arm around your waist or maybe a kiss to your lips if he was feeling confident enough

he supposes he feels this way because he’s insecure about himself. how could he get a girl as beautiful as you to be with him? he asks himself everyday what you saw in him, what made you want to stay with him. you assured him everyday that you loved him and he was the only boy you wanted to be with and even though you’re always reminding him of this he still can’t come to his senses that you actually, genuinely like him

today was one of those occasions where you had been talking with another boy, some aphrodite kid you didn’t know the name of. he was talking absolute nonsense, it started off as compliments then went on to asking you your favorite flowers, then onto many subjects that were awfully flirtatious. you wish leo would have been here, but he left when the boy pulled you away so now you’re stuck with an idiot who doesn’t get the hint you don’t like him

when you finally found an excuse to leave you hurried to find your lover. you searched his usual spots and when you couldn’t find him there you got worried. you feel as though you searched the whole camp at this point the only place you can think of is the beach, so that’s where you go. with your luck that’s where you find him

of course it’s the last spot you look

you sit beside him on the sand “hey”

“hey” he mumbles

you frown. he never greets you like this, it’s always a bone-crushing hug or a kiss with an ‘I missed you’ no matter how long you had been apart. but now he sits with a saddened demeanor, playing with the grains of sand, even refusing eye contact. perhaps you had done something without knowing it

“did I do something wrong?” you ask

there’s silence for a moment before he speaks “it’s me”

your heart breaks for him. why must he always blame himself for everything? “what do you mean?”

“why do you like me?”

poor boy. you want to take all his sadness and self doubt and throw it into the deepest depths of the universe, places nobody coil reach

“oh leo” you take his hand in both of yours, holding them delicately “if I gave you every reason we would be here for eternity”

he cracks a smile. there’s your leo

you continue speaking, “I love you because you are the sweetest boy ever. you always make beautiful things for me, you put yourself first always, you make sure that my needs are fulfilled before yours, you worry when I haven’t eaten, you take care of me when I’m sick, you build fires to keep me warm, you comfort me when I’m sad and calm me when I’m angry. you always try your hardest to make me laugh regardless the situation, you always make sure I’m happy. and not to mention that you’re an amazing kisser and incredibly sexy. but anyways what I’m trying to say is that no other boy would treat me as good as you do and I swear on the river styx I would never even think of being with anyone else but you”

he looks at you with adoration “really?”

“really” you confirm

you slip your shorts off, revealing bikini bottoms “now c’mon fire boy, lay all your love on me”

oh he surely would if you asked like that

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fear Of The Known

Lucifer x Fem!Angel!Reader

|Chapter Fifteen|

The feel of Lucifer's lips against Y/n's own felt like absolute bliss. And as their lips met, all breath was stolen from Y/n's lungs. Had she not already been an angel, she swore she could have died happily right then and there.

It was wonderful, it was lovely, it was beautiful, and it was...wrong.

Y/n gasped and pulled back swiftly, her mind finally catching up and reality began to set in once more. Her mouth shot up to cover mouth, eyes wide, matching Lucifer's shocked filled ones.

The two looked at each other in deafening silence, neither one moved an inch, barely even blinked. They just...stared. Completely and utterly in shock, and maybe even horror, of what they had just done.

At last, after what felt like an eternity, Y/n slowly moved her hand away and spoke in a hushed and uncertain tone.

"Lucifer..." His name was the only thing her mind could formulate. She was at a loss for words, unable to think clearly with how fast her mind was racing. And the terrible sinking feeling deep inside of her.

Or...perhaps it wasn't a 'sinking feeling', but rather something else. Something she did not recognize, at least, not yet. But regardless, it frightened her.

"Why..." Y/n began again. "Why did you...Why did I...W-What was that?" A foolish question. She knew well what had occurred between them just mere minutes ago. But what she couldn't understand was why.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry." Lucifer finally spoke up. Y/n could see the regret forming in his expression, along with some dread. He stood up from the bed, and gave Y/n some space.

"I-I don't know what came over me." He continued. "I would never do something like that without your permission. I-I mean! Why would I even consider it!?" He began to ramble on now.

"You're my friend! No friends do that! Not even close ones, and we are close, but not that close! Friends don't just randomly kiss one another like that! I don't even know what I was doing! All I could see was you, and everything else was a meaningless blur, and then...Oh shit, what have I done..." Lucifer groaned into his palms.

"You say this as if you're entirely to blame." Y/n muttered, looking down at her lap. "It's not like I tried to stop you.."

Lucifer looked up from his hands at her. He couldn't read her expression, and that worried him. "Y/n." His voice came out desperate as he approached her again.

He fell to his knees before her, and held her hands within his own. "I am so endlessly sorry. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable or scare you."

But he didn't. Y/n didn't feel the slightest bit of discomfort from Lucifer. She trusted Lucifer more than anyone else. She knew he would never do something to make her feel that way.

In fact, the way she felt when it did happen. She...liked it. She knew she was wrong for it. What just happened between them, that kiss. That one brief kiss, could land Y/n in deep, deep trouble if anyone were to find out.

That tiny act alone, could quite possibly result in her being exiled from Heaven.

An angel, not only an angel, but an angel of God's court, sharing such an intimate moment with the devil, the kind of Hell himself. It was an act unspeakably vile and treacherous.

And yet, Y/n could not help but like that feeling she had when she and Lucifer kissed. It was wrong, she knew it was. But she liked it.

"Lucifer, it's alri-"

"It will never happen again, I promise you. You have my word." Lucifer tells her firmly.

Y/n felt a sharp twinge in her chest hearing those words. Why?

"I-It's alright." Y/n tells him. "Really, you have nothing to be sorry for. Like you said, it will never happen again..."

As awkward as last night was, Y/n and Lucifer didn't not let it linger in their minds the next day. They'd both rather spend that time in each other's company before Y/n finally said goodbye.

And this goodbye, would be one of the hardest things Y/n would have to do yet.

"Big things are happening for Heaven." Said Lucifer. "It'd be a shame if you missed out." His smile wasn't one of happiness, but of sadness. Longing. He wanted nothing more to have Y/n stay just a little while longer.

That, and to tell Heaven to suck an egg for having such strict rules that kept them apart.

"I have no doubt Charlie will be requesting another meeting." Y/n chuckles. "This time, I'll see to it that she is taken seriously."

"Thank you. It's about time someone did." Lucifer sighed. The two of them stared in silence for a moment. Unsure of what to say, they just...stared.

Y/n eventually broke the silence with a soft sigh. "Well...I suppose I should get going then." Lucifer only nods. Y/n opened the portal back to her home and took a few steps towards it.

Before she walked in, Y/n turned back to Lucifer. Suddenly she ran to him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Lucifer was surprised, but only for a second, before returning the action. He felt tears fall onto his neck, and the light tremble of Y/n's shoulders.

"Don't forget me." Y/n sniffled.

"How could I ever?" Lucifer murmured.

Y/n pulled away, and quickly turned away, fearing looking at him any further would only cause more tears to form. Y/n steps through the portal and close it behind her.

Y/n exhaled shakily before walking up to her room. Her gaze landed on the duck Lucifer had made for her, resting on the nightstand next to her bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and gently held the duck in the palm of her hand.

She ran her pointer finger over it's head a few times before holding it close to her chest.

"Stop it." Y/n tells herself. "Just...Stop it, you fool. You're an angel. It would be wrong of you to..." She trailed off, not exactly knowing what she wanted to say.

To be his friend? An angel of her status, and the King of Hell, friends? That alone would be reason enough to cast her out of Heaven.

But to try for anything more...

Y/n cuts the thought short as she places the duck back onto the nightstand.

"It's like I'm begging to be damned." She huffs.

Y/n's body then suddenly jolts at the sound of her doorbell. She stands from the bed with a groan before quickly making her way downstairs and to the front door. She opened it, and was greeted by a small deer cherub.

"Hiiii, your presence is requested by the Heavenly Council." She said with a cheery tone.

"Oh. Um, is there something going on?" Y/n asks. "Usually Michael tells me about these things ahead of time."

"Yeeeeah, noooo. Sorry, I'm afraid I am unable to provide any further detail. I was simply sent here to deliver the message." She tells you, folding her hooves in prayer. "The Heavenly Grace awaits."

You nod. "Alright, I'll head there right away then. Thank you."

The deer cherub waves goodbye before you opened the portal to God's palace, just outside of the meeting room. You open the doors, inside were Michael, Galim, God, and...

"Sir Pentious." Y/n says aloud.

"Yesss, that isss me." The snake demon, or rather, angel spoke with a light hiss. "And you are?"

"Y/n." Y/n introduces herself with a smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you." She turns her attention to God. "I was told I was needed?"

God nods. "Yep! See, Sir Pentious here is in need of his...um...what were they called again, my child?" He looks down at Sir Pentious.

"My egg boysss!" Sir Pentious tells him. "I couldn't posssibly go on without them! They do my evil bidding, after all."

Michael clears his throat. "No, no. Sir Pentious, we don't do 'evil bidding' here." He gently corrects.

"Definitely going to have to work on that." Galim mutters to himself.

"Egg boys." God repeats. "How cute. Anyhow! As we speak they are all currently in purgatory, awaiting divine judgment. However, there are quite a few of them, and there are many human souls still being sorted as well, so it's a bit backed up at the moment." He explains.

"Oh?" Y/n tilts her head slightly. Galim looks to her. "We're sorry to ask this of you so suddenly, but could you perhaps help Sir Pentious get accustomed to things while we sort this issue out? It shouldn't take much longer than a day."

"I've tried my best, attempting to diminish any thoughts of evil or wrong doing, however..." Michael leans over to Y/n as he whispers. "He is quite stubborn." He leans away. "Perhaps you might know how to help?"

Y/n looks to Sir Pentious, and smiles. "Of course." She approaches him and holds out her hand. "I can show you around while they find you egg boys, Sir Pentious."

Sir Pentious hesitates for a moment, but eventually takes her hand.

"I'm sure you remember what we discussed." God looks to her. "Perhaps a...private tour, would be best for Sir Pentious. Michael can accompany you."

"Of course." Y/n nods her head. "I'll be off then." She and Michael leads Sir Pentious outside of the palace gates. Michael then summons a bubble force field that covered the three, making them invisible to anyone outside of it. The bubble lifts up into the air, and flies over the city below.

"I'm sure you have plenty of questions." Y/n starts. "Feel free to ask, we'll do our best to answer."

Sir Pentious, tears his starstruck gaze away from the city, to look at Y/n. "Oh, yesss. I do in fact, have ssssome quessstionssss, my dear. Firsssst being, how did I end up...here?"

"Well, you have done something truly good to wind up here." Y/n tells him. "You sacrificed yourself for your friends, yes?" Sir Pentious nods, a look of sadness on his face.

"And what about them? My friendsss? Will I ever sssee them again?"

Y/n's smile faded, she glanced at Michael, he nods. "Well." Y/n places a hand on Sir Pentious' arm. "There is a chance you might. You see, just you being here, it is now proven that sinner's can be redeemed."

That seemed to have brought a bit of a smile to Sir Pentious' face. Y/n wasn't sure she had the heart to tell him, just how that could be achieved though. Even when she told Charlie, she couldn't bring herself to tell her.

Her friends would have to die to end up here. She would loose them. Y/n hoped she could find some other way, it shouldn't have to end in death, to be rewarded eternal paradise.

There must be a way for those sinners to earn their wings some other way.

"That'sss good!" Said Sir. Pentious. "There isss one in particular I would love to sssee again." There was a light blush on his cheeks. Y/n smiled once again, and continued to answer any question he had, while showing the sights of Heaven.

When the day was over, Sir Pentious was returned to God's palace, where his egg boys would be waiting for him. Upon seeing the little creatures, Sir. Pentious was overjoyed. "My eggiesss!"

"Hiya boss!"

"Why is everything so clean here?"

"I like your feathers!"

"Who's the tall guy?"

"Aww! They're even cuter in person!" God gushes over the little guys. "No wonder Sir. Pentious cares for them so much."

"Sir. Pentious, for the time being, we believe it would be best if you stay here. Your egg creatures are welcomed to stay as well." Galim says to Sir. Pentious.

"Here? In this palace?" Sir. Pentious asks, making sure he heard Galim correctly.

"Why not?" God shrugs. "I have more room than I know what to do with here. It's no bother."

"Oh, well, thank your highnesss." Sir. Pentious bows his head. God chuckles. "No need for that. Come, let's get you settled in. Galim, if you'd be so kind?"

"Of course." Galim nods and leads Sir. Pentious, along with the egg boys to where they'd be staying. God then turns his attention to Y/n and Michael.

"Thank you both for that. It was quiet the hassle gathering those little creatures. But seeing Sir. Pentious so happy, was rather nice." God smiles. "So! How did the tour go?"

"It went well." Michael answers. "It appears that one can fit into Heaven's society after all. With some help, of course. But, we still have the exorcists to worry about. Lute, most of all."

Y/n inwardly cringes at mentioning of Lute's name. She remembered how their last conversation went, and her heart picked up a bit. But she managed to keep a calm composure. "Yes, that will be a challenge of it's own." She sighs. "Lute is not the type to be swayed so easily."

Michael nods. "You can say that again. It seems Adam's death has only made her more difficult. She would not go against our word, but it's clear Adam was the one she held the most respect for. Speaking of..." He glances at God, then back to Y/n.

"We have news about Adam."

Y/n looks at the both with a confused, yet curious, stare. "What do you mean?" She asks. From their own expressions, she could tell it wouldn't be pleasant news.

God's carefree demeanor faded into a more serious one as he spoke. "Adam's soul has manifested in Hell."

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[butmakeitgayblog]

I shouldn’t speak on anyone else’s behalf, but I’d like to hear about the new angsty not-fake-dating au idea please

Ok 👀

Gonna preface this by saying Clarke's overall character in the first half is... questionable. But listen just, set that aside for a minute and think of Clexa and also endgame 😅

So I was thinking something along the lines of Lexa gets recruited by a friend of a friend of a friend/distant classmate/ad in the college paper? Idk, whatever. But anyway, someone she's not at all close with or really has any ties to, and she's basically hired to pretend to be this girl's girlfriend for a group vacation her and her friends are going on (She's a nice girl, but a lonely gay/bi in a group of party girls/ habitually dating girls who always have Someone™ dangling off their arm, but this girl does not. Always looked over, the eternally single friend, etc. You get the gist.) And Lexa's hot. And kind of intimidating. Has that whole smokey eyed badass, femme fatale aura about her. It's... a reach, but also kind of perfect because it'll make this girl look fantastic to her friends in the street cred department and also possibly give her confidence the little boost that it needed. And considering Lexa grew up the only gay in her town, and didn't grow into her very gangly and awkward body until senior year of high school, she gets what it's like to always be the one passed up. Plus she could use the cash. So she's more than down for this. Everything's great, right? Right.

Except for the fact that one of said girls on the trip is in fact, Clarke. Who does have her own date. Now, I can't quite decide if Clarke would know about the arrangement or not, but regardless, Clarke has always been the main one in the group who is this girl's cheerleader. Very "you're better than how you treat yourself. You deserve everything, and it's not fair that people don't see it. The right person will fall in love with you in an instant, believe me. You're worth it." Very that supportive friend. She's ride or die until the end.

Now, Lexa's technically "on the clock" so to speak the entire trip, which means she is laying on the charm thiccc af. It's not exactly a stretch by any means because she is naturally a doting girlfriend in relationships (when she has one), but ya know, she's giving this girl her money's worth. She wants her feel like a princess for the entire trip. Yes it's a job, but it's also nice just making a girl feel special when she's not used to it.

The only problem is... Clarke is also seeing all of this. All of Lexa's sweetness and all of her thoughtful actions. Her attentiveness and her softness beneath the edgy exterior. The little presents Lexa surpises her friend with, the way she remembers her friend's little quirks. Always remembering her food preferences, her favorite drinks. Lexa's got this girlfriend thing down to a science. She's just so goddamn thoughtful and charming to boot. And also hot. Can't forget hot. Like really, unfairly hot. But mostly it's the way she's so gentle and sweet.

The other issue is, Lexa sees that in Clarke too. She sees that out of everyone, Clarke is pretty much the only one who actually treats this girl with kindness and respect. Never talking down to her or placating her, never just treating her like an afterthought. Clarke is so damn sweet and thoughtful, beautiful and fiery sometimes to a fault. She's funny, and warm, and just... the entire package. She understands why Clarke is never single.

But. It quickly becomes A Problem™. Because it's in the moments that Lexa is trying very hard to just focus on her "job" that she constantly finds herself in Clarke's orbit. In the mornings when she's up early making ~her girl~ her fancy coffee, late at night when she's tinkering around in the kitchen making her a lil snackie snack so they can watch a movie before bed. Those stolen interacting becomes moments of them just talking, Clarke on the counter as they chat while Lexa feels her eyes on everything she does. Them lounging by the pool while the others run into town for supplies. Dinners out with Clarke sat close on one side,,, while the girl sits on the other.

And there's flirting. Way too much flirting whenever they're in private. Effortless flirting that Lexa isn't really aware of until it smacks her in the face that they're both just idiots smiling. But it's all very cloaked in joking and throwaway moments because, technically, they're both supposed to be attached.

And as most things are, everything is fine. Until it's not.

The whole situation comes to a boiling point when they just get lost in one of those moments. A night of too many drinks and way too much flirting, finding themselves entirely too close in their villa's bathroom. It feels dangerously like the period on the end of a sentence that was written the second they'd layed eyes on each other. Before they realize what they're doing, Lexa's hoisted Clarke up onto the bathroom counter, her fingers pumping between Clarke's legs. It's a heated rush of moans and licks to sex-sweetened skin, both grabbing at each other through messy kisses meant to leave bruises. Both way too far gone into the release of all the tension to realize that... Clarke's being kind of loud...

It's a fucking catastrophe after that because yeah, well, Clarke definitely just cheated. In front of everyone. Including her "boyfriend". Though granted she'd only been seeing the guy for like a month so it's... it's not as earth shattering for her as it could be. But the real issue, the real vomit inducing kick in the moral gut is that she's just ruined the entire facade for het friend. Made her a look fool in front of everyone. Basically fucked the entire thing up for this girl who had only wanted to feel like she fit in. Just once. It honestly makes her feel awful. It's not like she just accepts it and feels ok with it, she is thoroughly disgusted with herself.

Obviously Lexa returns the money, letting herself be branded a homewrecker and cheater rather than embarrassing this girl further with exposing the truth that they were never actually together. She can carry that stigma as long as it means she's not doing anything to hurt this girl worse. She's caused enough problems as it is.

In the end everyone goes home. Pissed off or hurt or with a new bit of gossip to tell. Clexa going their own separate ways, without a single other word to each other.

The girl never talks to Clarke again when they get home and despite Clarke's efforts to try and make amends, she doesn't blame her. It was the single worst fuck up she'd ever made in her life. Which is why she takes the time to stop dating altogether and start really working on herself. Because she didn't like the version of herself who would do something like that to anyone, much less her friend. Feelings or not. Tipsy or not.

Lexa also never hears from the friend again, though that is not even remotely a surprise after everything. But she still wishes she could have done something to make things right. Some gesture or, or... something to fix what she'd fucked up so royally. It's a guilt she carries with her for a long, long while.

Eventually though, a few years down the line when it's more just a distant memory that still stings but doesn't burn quite as bad as it used to, the friend reaches out to Clarke in the form of a very opulent and beautiful wedding invitation that says she's... getting married to the guy Clarke cheated on that weekend. Clarke doesn't want to go, at all, but kind of feels obligated because not only is this the first olive branch she's ever gotten from her old friend, but also like,,, tf??? You're marrying that guy?!??! What the hell happenesd??? So she's gotta go. She has to, just to make the final amends for what she did.

Which works out well because the girl is all smiles and that bubbly laughter that comes from real, true happiness. She seems so easy and free when she tells Clarke that she is total over it. That they'd found the love that they'd been searching for in each other while commiserating through the pain of that trip. "Eh. Burnt toast theory and all that," is how she puts it with a lift of her champagne in response to Clarke's very thought-out apology.

So it's good. It's not great, and it doesn't make up for what Clarke did, but at least she now knows that her friend is at peace with what happened.

And then aND THEN Clarke catches a glimpse of Lexa at one of the tables across the room. Looking awkward and unsure and still disrespectfully hot in her formal wedding attire. And her friend, in all of her wedded blissed out glory, is like "Oh right. So. Speaking of blasts from the past. I invited another old friend... You should go say hi."

With the bride's blessing, she does exactly that despite her absolute terror at the prospect of seeing Lexa again. They have drinks and reminisce over wedding cake about that fucking shitshow of a vacation, catching each other up on where they are in their lives now and how they've been. They talk about how stupid they were. How awful and, honestly, immature. But through their embarrassed commiseration and disgust with their past selves, they both carefully (and not so carefully) toe around the subject that while they both do regret the way it happened... neither actually regret that it did. Because the sex had meant something. Because the feelings were entirely real. Those late night talks and time spent together still mean something today. Even through the messiness and the people hurt in the aftermath, the connection had been real, and in the end it had always sort of felt like the other was 'the one who got away'. So, drinks turn into dancing, which turns into Lexa catching a ride home with Clarke in a designated cab. And before either of them know what's happening, it's Clarke that Lexa is making breakfast for in bed 👀

[shyminmin]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 ᯽𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐗 𝐟. 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Urban Fantasy AU | ᯽𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.9k + ᯽𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : Minor Angst

Many say that life is nothing but a cruel game.

That in all her beauty and grace, life is unfair to those who try to live morally within her bounds, only to wind up being the ones to be pushed over the edge in the end. To cop the blow while injustice reigns in the hands of the perpetrator. That once you’ve met your undesirable demise, it’s over.

Second chances are unheard of, don’t get given away freely like menial handouts. The cat never saw past its ninth life to finally pounce on that golden bird it’s been eyeing off for eternity, so why would anyone else be viable? No once you’re gone, you stay gone.

Reality is one big slap in the face in that respect.

Funny then..

Funny then how life, as straightforward as she is questionable, has a way of catching her players off guard..

It’s almost laughable really at how such a cataclysm of events, of petty discrepancies seasoned by a good dose of cowardly violence, could lead to such an ever changing outcome. Never in their small, miserable lives would they have fathomed that such a thing was possible.

That against all odds, they indeed somehow earned that invaluable second breath when they were almost certain that their time on this worldly plane was up…

And little did they know that along with that exemption from death, also came the birth of something more profound in nature within each of them..

Something that – dare I say – went as far as breaching the very confines of mortality as we know it.

Three figures emerged from a dense sea of bark and foliage, the accumulations of an endless woodland.

Its trees, which mainly consisted of various species of maple and oak, eventually cut away to form the natural circumference of a wide spanning clearing, carpeted by lush green grasses. With the daytime waning on them, the small entourage swiftly ventured towards the very center of it, determined and alert.

The wind, which had been steadily picking up at the time of their arrival, brushed over them, almost like an inaudible welcome as it ruffled bits of their clothing. The seemingly kind gesture though failed to deter the ever present caution that clung to them like an itchy second skin.

Besides the whispers of the breeze and the faint rustling of branches in the far off perimeter, nothing dared to breathe a sound. The only female of the trio surveyed their vacant surroundings as she clutched a thick woolen blanket within her arms, long dark hair tumbling down her back like a midnight stream. Her two brothers loosely flanked her on either side, counting down the steps to their desired destination all while remaining on constant guard.

This would be the fifth and hopefully final time of stepping foot into such a place. As beautiful as this emerald patch in the middle of nowhere was, with nothing but nature greeting its visitors from all sides and isolated from the rest of civilization, it still held a level of eeriness that irked them to their very cores.

For it was the unsettling event that would eventually take place, and that they were in turn forced to witness each time, that never ceased to strike that chord of unease within them.

Regardless, they had little choice in the matter. Failing to turn up here at the calculated timing would mean they'd risk missing out on reaping their rewards; the chance of reuniting with what they had lost.

That of their remaining kin.

A few crunching steps later, their trek finally halted at the terse raise of a hand. It belonged to the eldest, one of the men whose face was fixed into a permanent stony resolve. By default he was elected to be the group’s leader, not just because of his superior years to their own but due to the amount of experience he held regarding the circumstance they found themselves in currently. Unlike the others who had only made the journey here once or twice, he had been present for all of them.

“Are you sure she’ll be here?”

The question came from the other male within their group, the words tumbling out of his mouth anxiously, uncertainty all but plaguing him as he shuffled in his place. Ever the compassionate person, their younger brother often wore his heart on his sleeve. When it came to the wellbeing of his loved ones, he was always the one who dwelled on it the most, broadcasting his emotions and showing those around him just how affected he really was. He gulped, tanned skin gradually heating up as he thought of the worst, clenching his fists tightly as faint sizzling erupted from them.

Slightly alarmed, the woman turned and placed a steady hand on his arm trying to ease some of his tension, sighing when she felt his temperature return to normal after a few moments, the abnormal sounds he was emitting soon subsiding. He looked down to her once he was settled enough, giving her a sheepish look, “Sorry…Thanks Noona.” She only gave him a grim smile in return.

“Give her time,” the oldest responded calmly off to the side. He viewed the dwindling light shining above them where a warm mixture of yellows and oranges were painted seamlessly across the sky. The golden disk of the sun ever so slowly sank below the tree line, bidding them a solemn farewell.

And perhaps relaying an ode of what was to come.

Anytime now, he muttered in his head, refocusing his gaze back down to the ground before them.

Just a little longer..

She’ll come. The rest of us had, so she shall as well. It was the equinox after all, if anything that should mark her arrival.

His mental consolation kept repeating like an unrelenting prayer in time to his wavering heart.

She’ll be with us soon.. She has to..

Nervous anticipation filled the atmosphere at this point as they remained in their place, biding their time.

However, the discomfort only grew when in the next moment everything decided to turn on its head.

The previous gentleness of the wind abruptly sped up, transforming into something that was far more perilous and dangerous; the now influx of raging gusts seeking out nothing short of discord. Their sudden strength unapologetically ripping out blades of grass in their wake and pushing and pulling the siblings from all angles, an almost sick game to get them off balance.

Such a competition proved successful as a yelp sounded out, the woman of the group none too kindly getting knocked off her feet. With both her hands occupied on keeping hold of the blanket, she was in danger of taking flight. Fortunately, before that could happen, she was quickly grabbed and righted by her brothers as they now all huddled together, slightly crouched to gain some sort of traction as they braced against the howling winds.

“Look!” The youngest suddenly yelled over the noise, pointing off to the distance from where they had first arrived. They all gaped in both shock and awe as the once vibrant shades of green that the trees had so proudly adorned faded into various fiery hues. Some of their leaves outright flying off the branches only to get swept up into the ever growing whirlwind, looking practically like shooting flecks of flame.

“It’s begun,” the eldest gritted, grasping the other two tighter. “We just need to wait it out! Keep calm and neither of you let go!”

“No shit!” His sister thundered back, earning a scolding curse from the man. This was hardly the time to argue as voiced by their youngest when their banter didn’t seem to let up. Survival was of their utmost priority and he would be damned if they failed to do that because of some petty arguing.

With the amount of reddened leaves continuing to break away from their origin trees, getting grouped together from the unrelenting winds, one could almost mistake this phenomenon for a growing tornado of fire, the trio unfortunately being at the very center of it, completely at its mercy.

All they could do was hope for the best.

A dozen or so said leaves collided with their skin in the mix, the rate of their speed causing their paper-thin edges to become that much more sharper and in turn drawing lines of blood.

Regardless, the siblings kept up their strong front, brushing off the attacks. The younger two were more emotive, their expressions filled with bewilderment while their oldest brother continued to remain impassive, eyes never losing their sharpness behind his dark locks.

Was this her doing? He resounded once more as he took in the situation. Such power…

Long minutes that seemed more like painstaking hours passed as they braved it through this strange turbulence, determination and longing keeping them rooted to the ground. The sky by now had lost its warmth, washed away by an indigo sea dotted with pearls.

Darkness crept over the clearing.

And as if this natural dissipation of light marked the end of wakefulness that the daytime ensued, so seemed to have in turn caused the winds to lose their erraticness. The harsh streams of air gradually lost their vigor and once more faded into gentle caresses that glided smoothly across their forms. The airborne foliage as a result rained down upon them, now a shower of leafy embers.

The three, seeing this change, gradually loosened their hold on one another but still remained close. They knew better than to let down their guard in a moment of reprieve.

Out of their peripheral, a dash of maroon shot past.

They watched breathlessly as a single maple leaf broke away from the amassment of falling red. It twisted and tumbled downwards in an almost elegant dance, its spiraling descent soon ended though as it softly perched on a pale mound of smooth skin; a shoulder.

Three pairs of eyes widened as recognition set in.

“Y/n!?” Gasping, the younger brother took a hesitant step forward but was almost instantly held back by his hyung, a warning shot his way. Worry had dominated the shout but deep down it served as the epitome of relief.

For there, taking up the once barren land before them, now housed the small form of a woman.

Y/n.

Their little sister.

Curled up on her side in a tight fetal position, her bare back faced them as they took in the faint rise and fall of her torso, goosebumps threatening to peek through as she shivered. Oh how she looked so fragile from where they stood, the world all but seeming to swallow the poor girl up while she was clearly in such a vulnerable state.

Weak, bare and alone.

At this, they were almost afraid to approach her, in fear that she could somehow shrivel away if they got close enough. She had always been sensitive in that respect. Too good, too pure for the world they were born into and the underserved hardship that was instantly thrust upon her amongst her first breath.

Hesitation was soon quelled though as long raven locks surged forward past the two men as their sister who had originally accompanied them crouched down before her curled up dongsaeng. Swiftly unwrapping the blanket she had brought, she draped it over the girl to protect her modesty, unclothed body now hidden from sight.

“Oh Y/n,” she softly spoke, delicately brushing some of the young woman’s hair behind her ear, revealing a face donned with sleep. “Sweetheart, can you hear me?”

That’s when she heard the meek, strained words.

“Jiwoo…unnie..?”

At the sound of her name, the raven haired woman’s eyes lit up, “Yes, that’s right. Your big sister’s here, dearest. We all are.”

“What happened?” Weak sobs made themselves known as Y/n stumbled over her words. “It was so cold… and dark… I-I was all alone..” Trembling, her eyes were yet to open as she remained to shake under the wool of the blanket. Jiwoo as a result looked her newfound sister over in dismay, not quite knowing how to handle the girl’s anguish.

Having been in the exact same position Y/n was in right now, not nearly six months prior, didn’t make dealing with this current predicament any easier. Honestly, how would one go about waking up in the middle of nowhere with no clothes on their back and expect to simply shrug it off like it was nothing?

No, if anything her demeanor was more than justified.

Swift footfalls resounded behind them as their two brothers silently joined them on the ground, their focus trained solely on the clear distress that their youngest displayed.

The eldest, with the same care and gentleness that his sister Jiwoo had taken, cupped the sides of Y/n’s head and softly turned it so that her face was in full view. Her lashes kissed her cheeks as trails of tears streaked down them like branching rivers, her lips wobbling. “Y/n..” his voice deep and calm to their ears. “Can you open your eyes for us?”

“Oppa..?”

“Yes love,” he rasped as his eyes lost some of their edge. “We’re right here, everything is going to be alright.”

Ever so slowly her lids pulled upwards. Glossy orbs appeared behind them, blinking a couple of times before focusing where they then locked onto his own. The otherworldly glow that radiated off her irises made him still for a moment.

The bright russet of her eyes reflected off of their own, like two alluring lanterns guiding one through a darkened landscape; bewitching beauty and warmth while they were the moths being drawn mindlessly to them. However, if one were to look just that little bit closer, just that one measly second longer, then they would notice that the soft radiance that they initially bestowed didn’t completely hide the presence of something else in intensity.

Something slightly foreboding in nature…

But before they could probe deeper on that fact, those lanterns of her’s dimmed, fizzling out to revert back to a more ‘human’ luminosity. Deep brown now stared up at them, unaware of the spell they had just cast.

“How do you feel?” The oldest asked after a few long moments.

Scrunching her eyes pondering, she settled on one word she deemed the most feasible, “Weird..”

All of them smiled down at her at that, liking her curt but somehow thorough explanation. They knew exactly what she meant.

“Weird but…strangely alive..?”

The youngest brother let out a small chuckle as he patted her head comfortingly, tears threatening to break free from his eyes. He silently thanked whatever force was out there that had brought his little sister back to them in one piece.

“Hobi,” Y/n gasped, mistaking her brother’s happiness for the opposite, “Oppa, don’t cry”. That only incited another laugh from him, a droplet finally escaping from his orbs. “I should be saying the same to you,” he wiped the sides of her cheeks where they were still damp from the result of her own crying. “No more tears, you’re back with us now.”

“Oh you two,” Jiwoo cooed, at risk of following in their suit with watery eyes of her own. She was quick to help with wrapping the blanket further around her sister when it started falling off as Y/n, with some effort, managed to push herself up into a seated position. Her body swayed a bit in the process, still in a fairly weakened and sleepy state. Concerned, she was assisted by the quiet older brother, his large hands holding her by her shoulders, coaxing her to lean back against him which she was more than grateful for.

“I…how…? She began again, looking between the three of them in disbelief. “It’s been years. How are you all here?” I… I thought I would never see any of you again…”

“I–”

“The feeling’s mutual dear.” Her sister crooned while Hobi nodded to the sentiment, patting her cheek. A faint squeeze of her shoulders chimed in from the oldest as he looked her over in a rare display of intrigue. “You’ve grown…” He muttered, taking in the lack of baby fat that had always clung to her face. “I was sure you’d stay little forever; how the time has passed,” he mused.

As a result, Y/n’s cheeks couldn’t help but take on a tinge of pink as she looked down bashfully.

A shout of contradiction rang out.

“What are you talking about? She still is! She’ll always be our baby and nothing will change that!” Jiwoo butted in matter of factly, flicking the older’s forehead much to his annoyance. “Tch really?.. You’re more of a child than she is.” He grumbled at her actions. “Can you at least act your age?”

Ignoring his complaining, she went in to hug Y/n and in turn ended up embracing the exasperated man as well since he was practically stuck to her back as her support. The brother nicknamed Hobi, with shining eyes smiling at the display, soon joined the family group hug as they all basked in each other’s warmth and comfort. More tears were spilled but they were drowned out by joyous laughter and cries.

What once was three now became four; the quartet of siblings was finally reunited and complete. Nothing would tear them away from each other again. They were in this together. This second chance at a new life and beginning which they would live out as one unified front.

| 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 |

[asturlavi]

Can you walk us through some of the symbolism in your most recent piece?

i was about to be snotty and say that it's free for anyone to interpret as they'd like. then, i gave it some thought and realized i enjoy sharing my thought process and inspirations behind each piece so i can encourage people to explore some incredible hidden gems... (i was also saving this ask until i had enough time and braincells to properly collect my thoughts as well as i could and not go into it sounding like it's a whole bunch of drunken drivel... only for it to still sound like that regardless)

i'll only brush on some of the details and not all of them, otherwise we'll be here a long, long time.

lets start with the easiest one: the pomegranate. we all know that it represents several things, life, death, fertility, etc. some of you know how attached i am to my greek myths, and of course, i naturally went with the symbolic attachment it has to persephone. i won't be getting into too much detail, especially when its a story that has been told to death as of late... but, i will say this: oftentimes, persephone and hades' relationship is romanticized as something with its fair bit of troubles that any marriage has, a prime example of this being hades (the game, of which i absolutely love the interpretation for. it's written with such gentleness and care. hades (the god) absolutely, rightfully adores persephone). it can also, however, be depicted as someone tricked and entrapped against their own will, that the pomegranates were a medium used to force persephone to live beside hades for a set amount of time, no matter what her opinion or feelings be on that circumstance. in that way, it can easily turn into a dark, malicious tale. and in astarion's case, a dark tale it was. vampirism was the forbidden fruit, where the eternal life he received had unknowingly led him to forfeit all his freedom.

then comes the vines, inspired by an obscure little quote that i ran into while reading the scarlet letter, specifically these lines that reminded me so much of a certain someone... (the final sentence is my favorite for... reasons). simply read the passage, and the answer is there for you to see.

i should also add that in my illustration, the vines are bare of any flowers, any hope, any world of beauty under cazador's control. it withered away under the centuries, all wishes dead beneath an oppressive life of darkness.

and finally, the bats. they had no (conscious) inspirations, literary or not. it was something i've added because i thought of the fun little, depressing idea of the bats as messengers of cazador. they keep surveillance on cazador's spawn and report if there is any occurrences that may be anything less than satisfactory to someone like cazador, who would absolutely loath if any single one of his spawn treads a path that he deems unacceptable.

that's all comes to mind for now and it's always fun finding an excuse to start talking about obscure academia adjacent tidbits. thank you for asking, and i hope reading this wasn't simply a dreadful waste of your time

(also here's a variation of the illustration before i ultimately scrapped it. i don't know how else to post it, so here you go!)

[hikarry]

Giving up on love is a very sad reality :( you believe in Azi and Crowley, so why not believe for yourself? You deserve to be loved too, Spencer

I love Aziraphale and Crowley's love but they are fictional and so is that type of fairy tale burning eternal passion type of love

I'm a romantic at heart. Fairy tale intense romance and eternal love is something I crave and I'm ready to give, but, let's face the facts: that type of love and relationship doesn't exist outside of fiction and, for as much as I'm ready to offer that type of romance and loyalty to someone, actual people live in a reality in which that type of love isn't actually real

The thing is, I don't want anything less than I deserve and I deserve to be loved intensely and fully. Yet that reality is fiction therefore actively chasing it is futile

I've had my more than a handful of relationships and my experience teached me no one truly wants to care for a broken vase. They want a simple and easy romance. I want a simple and easy romance. No drama. I'm one of those people too

But the truth is that no one truly wants or has the patience to see, acknowledge and try to understand and be careful with your broken parts

I am so damaged and scared of opening up fully to anyone again that what I truly need is someone that will take things very slow with me. Hold my hand and slowly help me find some of my missing parts. Put up with my bad side too. My very broken very damaged side. But no relationship is one sided. The other person will have their struggles and broken parts too and, deep down, we are too individualist to be able to multi task and hold both our and someone else's broken vase. It might work for a while but eventually our own struggles will surpass the other vase and we will grow detached

It's sad to say, but I trusted the wrong people and got myself thrown against the wall multiple times. I learned with each throw and moved on, but the trauma stayed. Until I work all my trauma regarding romantic relationships and pick up my missing pieces, I'm not fit for love. Even afterwards, I don't believe there is a living human that will be delicate enough to pick up my vase and carefully maneuver it and learn it like it deserves to be learned and cared for. People simply don't have the patience. They are searching for something whole and easy and I'm way way beyond that, even after I work all my problems

It might sound sad to you, but the truth is that I don't fit with the romance spectrum in our current circles anymore. And I'm fine with it. I'm fine with experiencing romance through fiction and dedicate all the love I had reserved for a significant other to my currently loved ones and my cat. I do in fact have a lot of love to give and an extreme need to care for something and my friends, family and especially my cat are fine enough deposits for all the love I have to give

I'm truly and honestly fine with not being loved like that or in any way at all. Romance is overrated anyway

Pets can love you much more than any person ever could and everything I'm fighting for is honestly to give a good home and future to my cat

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Your message is very sweet and thank you for caring, but I'm truly okay with not being fit to be loved by another person romantically. I've honestly got everything I've ever needed already and I'm perfectly happy with that

Oof that was heavy. Jesus.

Here, have a picture of my cat to lift the mood. Her name is Alex and she is evil incarnate, but I love my beautiful daughter very much regardless

[ahalal-uralma]

People who had the chance to see you nude are the most blessed and lucky on this planet. Such beauty is very rare. Well done.

Thank you, but I hope you don't approach people like this in real life.

a) I didn't ask for your opinion on my naked body and quite frankly you had to know that was inappropriate or you wouldn't have hidden your identity b) How would you know if they're lucky or not? c) and how would you know if it's rare? What is your basis for comparison and expertise of measurement on this? Many women and men are beautiful alike, so I don't get this sentiment. d) You make it sound like I had a choice alternative to my anatomy, which is really strange. No one has a choice on how their body is born or develops, and no one needs to be told "well done" for it regardless.

A simple "you're beautiful" would have been effective and polite, if you felt that compelled to say anything to anyone...or you know, say anything else. I love your taste in music, books, etc. Not everyone needs it excessively enforced that they're aesthetically appealing. I already have someone extremely special to stimulate my mind and enrich my life with his beautiful formulations and utterances. I can't get enough of him and I can only hope he sees the depths of my eternal affections. I don't need this from people I don't know.

[grimm-rider]

Entry 1

My name is Calio Caecos, and I’m a Black Rider of Baba Yaga.

There, I got the important part out at the front.

I’m writing this for my own personal records. In case I forget these things again. Not for anyone else to read it. Hint hint. Turn back now or bear a terrible curse. Or something.

Anyways, it’s been a couple of weeks since my journey started and I’m not going to write detailed daily entries of every little thing we did every day leading up to today or I’ll never catch up to…well, today. So I’ll summarize until I reach our current moment in time.

After trying to travel to Irrisen from Ustalav, I woke up in a…compromised position…in the Taldor border town of Demgazi, on the opposite side of the continent from where I was meant to be. A year later than it was meant to be. And I’m not going into anymore detail than that since I suspect someone other than me might get nosy and start reading this.

Aenland. That means you. Stop reading my journal.

Regardless, after I woke up in unusual circumstances, I went to a cleric to get checked out, due to my…sickly complexion. This is how I discovered both my…unusual allergy to positive energy, and the fact that despite it I don’t detect as undead of any sort. The priest wanted to preform some other prayers and rituals or something on me, but I was tired of holy men, and wasn’t quite sure what he’d end up doing if none of his little rituals worked. So I slipped away.

It was not long afterwards that I discovered my new magic and ability to call on negative energy—and the knowledge of how to scribe the spells into scrolls. I remained in town for one day to make some scrolls, then began making my way north.

I didn’t get far. Heldren, specifically. About as far South in Taldor as you can get without being right on the border. There I was roped into helping save a forest from an unseasonable winter that had mysteriously occurred along with three others.

First was a fellow Irriseni named Edeya—a beautiful woman with a talent for witchcraft. Next was a literal bear wielding an axe named Nestian—yes, a literal furry grizzly bear, not a gay bear. I don’t know his particular preferences. He might not have any as far as I can tell, he doesn’t really seem to have a strong reaction to much of anything or anyone. Last and certainly least is Aenland, an absolute nightmare of an elf. Take all the features that make elves beautiful and exotic, exaggerate them until they’re uncanny, stretch him out for good measure, and you have Aenland. He has creepy bug eyes, his limbs are far too long and thin for his body, he’s always smiling that creepy smile, and his hair is infuriatingly perfect. He is a sleep paralysis demon given flesh. And he seems to have made it his goal to be as infuriating as he is creepy. I hate him. So much. Everything about him makes me unreasonably mad. He has no social graces. He’s patronizing and looks down on anyone who isn’t an elf. He charges headfirst into sensitive topics with the subtlety of a charging rhino. He doesn’t know when to shut up and keep private information to himself. And as far as I can tell he’s totally oblivious that he’s doing anything rude.

And Aenland, if you didn’t take my words to heart and quit reading my journal prior, I want you to know: I wholeheartedly mean every word I say. Also fuck off and quit reading my journal.

Oh there’s also Edeya’s familiar I suppose. Snezhinka, an arctic fox. When we first met Edeya, the fox was pretending to be a stole around her neck, but after we left town and I called out Edeya on her obvious Irriseni origins, she had Snezhinka stop the act and introduced us.

After we gathered some information, and learned of one missing Lady Argentina, we headed to the bubble of eternal winter covering the normally warm Taldan forest. Along the way, Aenland asked us obnoxious invasive questions. I had a…friendly wrestle…with Edeya, to try to decide who would be subjected to Aenland first. I won, but unfortunately Aenland decided I would be next regardless. His questions were as annoying and intrusive as I’d expected and I gave the most barbed pointed replies I could muster—which he seemed completely oblivious to.

Finally, we made it to the bubble of winter and were free from Aenland’s incessant talking. There we found an overturned carriage, and fought some zombies within. My first foray with the undead—a very fascinating experience. We found Lady Argentina’s signet ring within the carriage, and continued on our way.

In the forest we faced fey, ice elementals, another fey riding a giant elk pretending to be a forest spirit, and a handful of bandits. Nestian didn’t want to kill the bandits, so we knocked two unconscious and I spooked the other two into running back to their camp with their tails between their legs. We woke one of the unconscious ones, questioned him—spooked him a bit—and got some information on Lady Argentina’s whereabouts. We had him lead us to their fortress.

Despite the bandit we were leading attempting to use his own body to set off a trap, we made our way through the fortress and cleared it out easily.

Well, I say easily. At one-point Nestian was surrounded by enemies and bleeding out, and Aenland spent part of the fight frozen in place by the necromancer leader Rohkar’s Hold Person spell. And Edeya was bleeding out so badly she could hardly think straight at one point. So okay maybe this wasn’t that easy of a fight. Maybe I’m just that good at keeping myself alive. Mostly alive?

…Alive. I’m alive. Detect undead doesn’t work on me, so clearly I’m still alive. Despite anything Nestian has to say about me smelling like death.

Anyways, despite any setbacks, the end result was Aenland knocking out Rohkar, me convincing this girl Nestian really wanted to leave the fight to leave, Nestian killing a shitton of people and seeing some weird fey creature flee into the woods, and on the outskirts Edeya keeping everyone else alive with her healing and using Evil Eye to weaken enemies.

We found Lady Argentina in a basement, I gained her trust by returning her signet ring, and we let her out and told her we had some prisoners we intended to question. When she heard one was Rohkar she insisted she be there to question him herself. We agreed. She had a strong personality and I for one QUITE enjoyed it.

When we woke Rohkar, Lady Argentina started our questioning by immediately slapping him and demanding answers. Then before he could actually answer she slapped him again.

Did I mention I like this lady?

Rohkar told us that they plot to kidnap the Lady had been concocted by the fey, and was part of a greater Irriseni plot, although he didn’t know the details. All he knew was that the leaders of the fey in this area were an Ice Mephit named Izozai and a Moss Troll named Teb Nottin.

After the others asked their questions about his plans and the eternal winter around us—which we learned was caused by a portal straight to Irrisen—I asked my own questions. Namely about Rohkar’s necromancy and what a necromancer gained from following the god of murder, Norgorber.

He gave his answer, that if he killed someone and raised them in Norgorber’s name, and then they killed someone, and then he raised them and they killed someone, it was a growing wave of death all in the name of the god of murder. He also told me a bit about the actual workings of necromantic spells—the necessity of always having onyx gems on hand to use as a material component, because the spells to raise the dead consume an amount at a rate determined by the power of what you try to bring back. Although the scrolls I took off him won’t need those. Which meant I had one free big hitter I could make.

I looking back feel like I’ve used it wisely.

Anyways after that enlightening conversation, we went to bed. We had a little detour back to town to cure Edeya of a disease, get a reward from Lady Argentina, and meet Nestian’s family (literal bears. Not talking shapeshifting bears like Nestian. Literal four-legged cave bears.)

Then it was back on the road to the winter portal. We fought some of Rohkar’s scraps (some icy skeletons left behind), some (very flammable) living trees, and finally the Mephit and an ice elemental.

She wasn’t as threatening as we’d expected, honestly. The ice elemental took longer to kill.

Then came something that…left a bad taste in my mouth. I’m not going to just summarize this part because…well I’m just not. It feels like more should be said about it. That’s all.

We came upon a Haunt.

Aenland was the first to see it. A young boy ran across his path. He begged to be left alone, then vanished into the boulders ahead of us. Aenland went ahead of us and tried to talk to the boy. The child poked his head out of the rocks—but instead of talking to Aenland, he addressed a ‘Mrs. Vasillanova’.

That’s a name we’re going to hear a lot more going forward. It’s one I hate. And its owner is going to get what she deserves and oh so much more when I get my hands on her.

At this point I recognized the Haunt for what it was, and informed Aenland that what he was seeing was not a true ghost, but a memory of a child caused by something terrible and traumatic happening. We had seen a strange doll laid out within a cabin on the top of the icy cliff ahead of us, and I let the others know that it was likely the key to calming the Haunt. Until then we had to be on guard, because Haunts were usually extremely dangerous and malevolent things.

Aenland saw that our path was blocked by some sort of magic—likely something that would trigger the Haunt. Nestian decided to take a different approach, and began using his claws to climb the side of the ice cliff directly. Then he threw down a rope so the rest of us could follow.

As we moved through this area we continued to hear from this poor child. First, he was yelling in anger at Vasillanova, telling her he just wanted to go home, and he didn’t want anything to do with her ‘stupid doll’. Then there was a more quiet and tearful moment, in which he was talking to someone named Thora, and he said he didn’t think he would be coming back.

As Aenland crossed onto the plateau, the doll activated from his proximity. He was hit by a Ray of Frost from the doll—which was actually a Guardian Doll. A construct powered by a soul gem in its left eye—in this case a particular twisted creation considering it appeared Vasillanova had decided her souls of choice were children.

Nestian charged the doll. It locked him with its gaze and tried to cast a mind dominating effect on him as it said in the little boy’s voice “You want to help Dominik, don’t you?”, but Nestian was stronger than the doll and shrugged it off.

I hit the cursed thing with a Ray of Sickening—as despite being a construct this particular creature was susceptible to these types of attacks, perhaps due to its reliance on a soul. Edeya hit it with an Evil Eye.

Then Aenland decided to get fancy and try to get into flanking position instead of just going for what was closest or just shooting the damn thing. And so instead of getting to hit it at all, he got stabbed in the ribs by a freezing cold dagger and became paralyzed by cold. Again.

Fucking Aenland.

Anyways Nestian managed to keep him from getting his throat immediately slit by grabbing the doll and cutting straight through it in one final expect chop—soulgem and all.

We were all pretty quiet afterwards, and moved on quickly after Aenland and I confirmed that the Haunt was really gone.

I’m going to kill that bitch Vasillanova. And I’m going to make her into a bloody skeleton so her soul is trapped in service to me, for a long long time. I’m going to make sure she understands the same suffering every single child she murdered felt, tenfold.

…Anyways. After that we had an encounter with a giant white weasel, which Nestian calmed and helped us pass by without a fight. And from there we were almost at the heart of the forest—and the winter portal.

The snow storm had grown unbearable here, we could barely see an inch in front of our noses, and it was incredibly difficult to walk without snowshoes. Ah. Just like home.

Man I never quite realized just how much Irrisen sucked as a kid.

We ended up in a fight with a fey in these conditions, if you could really call it that. A bunch of blind swinging in the snow, on both sides. Our blind swinging was just better.

Then we reached the eye of the storm.

There was no snow where Teb Nottin awaited us. Trees surrounded a clearing, and the snow swirled around us, spat out of a portal in the center. The moss troll put up a fight—he did a number on Aenland when the elf got too close. But I set him on fire, and he panicked when that happened and looked like he was going to actually turn and run. But Nestian cut him down before he could.

I regretted not turning him into a bloody skeleton then and there, but it’s okay. I got one that’s just as good later. I…ended up distracted by other things a moment later.

See, this is when we met the Black Rider.

This is when we witnessed the Black Rider’s final moments of life, and each agreed to an oath—for our own differing reasons—to take on the mantle of the Black Rider, save Baba Yaga, and stop Queen Elvana. The Black Rider laid back into the snow, and the last life left his body after his power joined with us.

Aenland was seeking a weapon to kill a Demon Lord. I was seeking answers—and somehow the Black Rider knew me, even though I shouldn’t have been back to Irrisen before, so I knew the answers about my missing year were tangled up in all this. Nestian wanted to protect his family from Queen Elvana, who they’d already fled from once. And Edeya…Edeya was the most mysterious of the lot. Yeah even more than me. When Edeya hesitated to take the cloak, the Black Rider looked her in the eye and said “Edeya Karanasi take the cloak, it is your destiny”. Karanasi was the name of the former head of the Winter Witches, before she mysteriously died in the Vale of Tears twenty years ago. So at the time that gave me some suspicions that she was probably directly related to at least some of the Winter Witches. She has since confirmed that her parents were Winter Witches, and she was slated to join their ranks—but she decided she wanted to do something better with her life.

Good for her.

I’m curious what caused her change of heart. The Winter Witch position comes with a lot of perks and power. There must have been some sort of catalyst to push her into deciding to leave that all behind. But for now, I’m leaving that be. I like Edeya, so unlike Aenland, I know how to keep my nose to myself and respect other’s secrets when they aren’t immediately relevant to me.

Although if we ever find ourselves alone, and in a place where we can’t be easily overheard, I might just ask her…

Anyways, we gained the power of the Black Rider, the old Black Rider died, we’re Geassed to seek out Baba Yaga, and so we stepped through the winter portal and into Irrisen—some of us for the first time.

Not me. For me this was a long overdue homecoming.

At least it feels long overdue. From how the Black Rider was talking…it sounds like maybe I was in Whitethrone recently? In my own memory I’d never been to Whitethrone. But in my own memory I’d not returned to Irrisen since I was a child, so there we have it.

We walked for a while, before we ran into a giant mantis attacking a man and a woman. The man was injured, in its mouth, and clearly not a warrior. The woman was holding her own with a fiery handaxe and a pick. She saw us and called for help in Skald—the native tongue of Irrisen for those not in the know—and I answered in agreement. It’s not like we had anything better to do, and having locals on our side rather than against us would do wonders for our journey. Plus, I was sure Nestian and Aenland were probably a hair’s breath from helping whether she asked or not.

I told the others, and we jumped into action, helping to slay the giant insect and saving the man before he could be torn apart. The woman—Nadya—thanked us and asked some questions about where we’d come from and why we were here. Aenland was…incredibly too honest for where we were. But it worked out in our favor, as it turned out Nadya had reason to hate the Winter Witches, and was immediately willing to help us if we were working against them.

It turned out her daughter, Thora, had been kidnapped by one Nazhena Vasillanova. We remembered hearing both of those names during the Haunt we’d passed through, and informed Nadya of it. She said she knew Domonik’s father and would give him the grim news. As for Thora…fortunately Vasillanova was in Whitethrone at the moment and had left her lover Radosek Pavril in command of the Pale Tower. While he was still a vile man, he was far less likely to have killed Thora.

As we were getting ready to rest for the night, I spent some time alone. Just…thinking about some things. I had some words with the symbol of Norgorber I took from Rohkar. Before I really got anywhere though I got rudely interrupted by Aenland. There was a fey woman singing at the edge of camp and he wanted me to come with everyone else to check it out.

And thus, we met a fey named Miriam. She appeared to be a pleasant and sweet girl who just wanted friendly company to wait out the cold night with.

Looks can be deceiving.

We talked. We told her about ourselves. Aenland told her far more than necessary. Again. She asked many questions and seemed very interested, hanging on our every word. But it all seemed like a totally friendly chat at the time. The next day we parted ways as the people in camp were suspicious of her and she felt going into town would be dangerous. Supposedly.

We only learned days later just how deep her deceptive nature ran.

In town, Aenland and Edeya noticed that the people in town seemed to all look weirdly like the people in Heldren, and the buildings were identical. After come talk about how weird it was, Nestian came up with an intriguing theory (which turned out to be right). Heldren and this village were connected by a leyline, and that natural magic had in some way affected the way the people looked and the way the town was ultimately set up.

With that strange mystery solved, we first went to Nadya’s house to plan our assault on the Pale Tower (and to meet Nadya’s sons, their grandmother Katcha, and her home’s Domovoi, Hatch.) Afterwards we went to the local tavern, where we got a reception almost as icy as the weather outside. And the barkeep’s wife tried to drug us with tea that had a suggestion effect on it so that she could try to make us leave town—something Nadya after the fact realized they must have done to other travelers in the past, who had mysteriously packed up and left without warning for no clear reason after going to the tavern. We didn’t out them in the tavern in front of Nadya, but Aenland and I both caught onto what was going on. Aenland decided he was going to take all of the tea to go, and when the barkeep’s wife tried to argue, Aenland asked if I had anything I wanted to say about the tea. Getting the hint, she let us take the tea. Aenland rubbed it in further when he suggested some mead for the table.

…He can be okay sometimes. On very rare occasions.

We returned to Nadya’s house not long afterwards, and had our own drinking contest with Katcha. Things were a bit of a blur after that. That old lady can really hold her alcohol. And so can Nestian. I mean yeah, he’s a bear. Edeya even tried to help give me an edge by Evil Eyeing Nestian once. Or maybe she was just Evil Eyeing someone at random. I don’t know—she was doing it to prove she wasn’t a buzzkill because she was the only one not drinking and I was poking a little fun.

Aaaanyways all this to say, I was fucking wasted when the next thing happened.

This compact mirror we’d taken off Teb Nottin’s body began vibrating.

I took it out and began examining it. Finally, I opened it. The face that was in the mirror wasn’t my own. It was a man with greasy brown hair, bad facial hair, and a big forehead. The man wasn’t looking at me, and was talking as though he were talking to Teb Nottin. I laughed and gleefully informed him that Teb was dead.

The man froze and looked at me now. I was expecting a ‘who the hell are you?’ or a ‘what do you mean Teb is dead’ or maybe even a ‘you’ll pay for killing my troll!’. Instead he asked “Calio, is that you? Why are you back here?”

That threw me off balance—and I was already off balance from the alcohol. My response was something along the lines of “How do you know me, I don’t know you?”

The man immediately flew into a rage, ranting that I shouldn’t have come back, and that if he saw me he was going to kill me, before the compact turned back into an ordinary mirror.

I stared at my bewildered reflection for a long moment, wondering if I’d just imagined that entire thing in a drunken haze or if it had really happened (spoiler alert: it really happened). Then I went back to sleep.

Not for long because soon Hatch was pawing at me in a panic and saying we were under attack. So I helped wake Edeya up, and we all fought a bunch of Pale Tower guards who had come to arrest Nadya for…something? Maybe harboring us, but I’m not really clear. Honestly it doesn’t matter, since when did the White Witches need a legitimate reason to spirit people off?

Hatch directed us back to the tavern we’d nearly been drugged at before, where Nadya had gone to face the Pale Guards’ captain. We made our preparations and then made a beeline for the tavern.

At the tavern Aenland went around the side to peek in through a window, then motioned for the rest of us to make our move. Nestian burst in, taking down a Pale Guard along the way. Aenland shot the captain, and I saw an opening. I used a lovely little spell I’d gotten ahold of called Boneshaker and ripped the skeleton from the man’s body.

With a touch of the symbol hidden in my pocket, I raised the skeleton again and had it trip up one of the other guards.

The symbol felt warm in response.

Anyways we cut through the pale guards without any trouble. And those assholes, the tavernkeeper and his wife, decided to side with them.

Hilarious thing. Turns out his wife was channeling negative energy using a very familiar symbol.

She channeled negative energy and the look on her face when it didn’t affect me was just…priceless.

What was even more priceless was the look on her face when I turned it back on her with inflict moderate wounds, pulled her in close, and told her “you’re not the only one who kills in his name”, and let that be the last thing she ever heard.

That felt really good.

Aenland didn’t take kindly to me taking his kill (he’d wanted to kill the tavernkeeper’s wife, but after I saw her unholy symbol I knew I just had to be the one to do it), so he killed the tavernkeeper and was saying something to him about how I heal from negative energy as he did, which just seemed to confuse the man in his last moments.

Afterwards we found another of those little mirrors on the captain. That reminded me of what had happened the night prior, so I told everyone about what had happened. I described the man I’d seen, and Nadya identified him as Radosek Pavril. So apparently the person who is head of the Pale Tower currently and lover of Nazhena fucking Vasillanova knows me somehow.

Well, knew me. Past tense now.

I ended up explaining to the others about the hole in my memory, since I had no other explanation for where Pavril knew me from. Afterwards Edeya jumped in on the ‘revealing secret truths’ train and told us that her parents were Winter Witches, and she’d been slated to be one before she ran away.

Knew it. Totally called it.

Anyways, we got Nadya back home. She had a happy reunion with Hatch. The house spirit had promised if we got her back then he’d help us with the Pale Tower. He used to work there once upon a time, and he knew the passcodes for all the teleporters between floors. He also knew the dangers on the road between here and there.

And so we disguised ourselves using the clothes of the Pale Guards we’d killed and made our ways to the Pale Tower. We didn’t run into the monstrous crow guarding the road because of our disguises, and I talked our way inside by saying we were expected by Pavril and he wouldn’t want to be kept waiting.

Inside, the courtyard was being patrolled by an Ice Troll, and guarded by a frozen construct.

I set a second troll on fire. Wonderful trend to keep going.

You know what’s even better? I got to make up for my regret of not using my animate dead scroll to raise Teb Nottin. I raised this particular Ice Troll as a bloody skeleton, who we’ve taken to calling Reggie. Naming him was Aenland’s idea. He insists you have to be friends with the undead you make, and I fear if I didn’t play along he may well have broken my new toy.

Reggie helped Nestian and Nadya to finish off the ice construct.

We had Reggie break through the main doors while we went through the smaller side doors. We fought a water elemental, then a number of Pale Guards—including some that Reggie got the jump on while on their break, and a second captain who had the key to the teleporter.

We teleported up to the second floor, fought a shapeshifter that tried to pretend to be Lady Argentina, Reggie killed two fey who were completely ineffective against him, and then we entered a room with two ice statues.

I approached the largest doors to see where they went. When I did, the nearby mirror began reflecting Radosek Pavril. He questioned who dared to try to invade his tower. He seemed surprised to see me. He told us we should leave or be crushed. I told him to say hi to Reggie. He broke character for a moment to say that me making his minion into a bloody skeleton was really friggin awesome. Which it is. Anyways we told him we’re coming for him, he seemed to want to say something but like with the Black Rider he couldn’t seem to. Then he said come if we could make it to him. The mirror turned back to a mirror.

And I got hit by a lady with a sword.

Oh and this is the part I was foreshadowing when I said Miriam wasn’t all she appeared to be. Because she showed up here helping the lady with a dragon claw trying to gut me.

Turns out just because a fey can feel remorse doesn’t mean she’ll be any less likely to join a bunch of child murdering assholes. She was apparently originally tasked by Queen Elvana to kill the Black Rider before the queen killed him herself, so then when Aenland went and spilled the beans about the Black Rider and our new role, she decided that she was going to learn more about us and find a chance to kill us instead.

Bitch.

I managed to survive. Between Aenland, my own inflict wounds scroll, and Nestian finishing the clawed woman off, she didn’t manage to finish me off first. And as such I called up my last inflict moderate wounds and pumped it into Miriam—because I wanted her to die for stabbing us in the back.

Nestian and Reggie dealt with the ice statues, which had come to life after the mirror turned back into a mirror. Miriam took a stab at me with a flaming blade, then made a run for it. I stabbed her, but it wasn’t enough to stop her.

Aenland got this kill. He dashed after her as she made her escape, and took the final shot.

He was weirdly distraught afterwards. I can’t fathom why he’d mourn someone who betrayed us and just tried to kill us. She was never really our friend. She used his kindness and his naivety against him.

We found the key and some other items of interest, then took the teleporter up to the next floor—the aviary.

There we fought a sylph who seemed to somehow know Nestian—although Nestian didn’t know him back. Nestian didn’t seem to have any holes in his memories like me. So we have no idea what’s going on there.

We managed to get another key, and entered the final teleporter.

On the final floor we stood before an army of ice elementals.

Pavril whirled around and activated a huge mirror behind him. In the mirror was Queen Elvana herself, along with a bound Milani worshipper. She was annoyed with Pavril for ‘interrupting dinner’. When Pavril tried to tell her about us, she said she already knew about us. She spoke each of our names, and said she had been scrying on the Black Rider’s death. She already knew all about us. She said if he wanted to be the only one punished for this and not Vasillanova as well, then he should kill us now. Now leave her to dinner. And then she called two *fucking dragons* to rip the Milani worshipper apart, and the mirror turned back to a regular mirror.

Pavril turned back to us, and said ‘Well. You heard the woman.’

And so there were no more words. We fought. We killed the ice elementals. His familiar, some creepy goat that talked in abyssal and shot ice out of his mouth, fought back. I slipped through and got the first strike on Pavril himself with an inflict spell. He tried to curse me in return.

Bitch.

Reggie joined me in beating the crap out of Pavril. Pavril stepped away and in one final desperate bid he began throwing a cloud of snowballs at us—but they were not horribly effective. Then Aenland followed up with one final arrow that pierced him in the head—killing him.

A moment later Nestian slayed the familiar, and it vanished in a cloud of locusts and blood.

We found Nadya’s daughter and reunited them. Then—with Edeya’s help (And Aenland’s…attempted help…)—I closed the winter portal. We were officially stranded in Irrisen.

[mattspinksjoyblog]

Jesus; The End of All Religion | Katie Spinks

Firstly let’s define a few words, so we’re starting on the same page.

Jesus- A person of the Triune God, who was sent to earth to reveal God to man and by becoming human, has forever united God and man in one body thus redeeming everything in all creation.

Don’t worry we’ll get to unpack that for all eternity. I don’t know about anyone else, but that statement right there gets me excited! Basically, even if we’ve studied theology and all that you can imagine that’s available in our lifetime, we’re not even scratching the surface. No disrespect to well studied scholars, but were all babies when it comes to the Trinity. The point being is “Let’s look at this together and realize that there is so much awe and wonder of God, and God is showing us, They are more wonderful and good than we could have ever believed or imagine.

"End": to come or bring to a final point; finish.

It is finished.

"All": used to refer to the whole quantity or extent of a particular group or thing. All means all.

This is where it gets tricky. Religion is a big word encompassing all sorts of ideas and cultural experiences. I’d like to pick a part this idea of religion as being a means of doing things in life that people would classify as sacred or holy to get closer to God. The old root of this word is bind, to be under obligation and to hold to monastic vows. This kind of religion seems to be an outward self regulating of ideas put into practice to keep one at peace with society, because religion deals with moral or ritual behavior, and with themselves, because if they’ve done their duty and obligation they can pat themselves on the back and expect good things to follow.

So when I say Jesus is the end to all religions, I mean he single handedly made them obsolete. So how did he do that? By become a man and thus uniting God with man. He isn’t united to God for just himself. He represents to God all humanity in this union with God. Because he’s God and he know what he’s talking about, he says we’re ALL mystically united in this person Jesus.

Well, how is that the end of religion? It’s the end of religion because Jesus accomplished life perfectly and we’re in Him! His victory is ours, His righteousness is ours, His union with the Trinity is ours!

So what does this mean for our life? Well, Jesus not only united God with man but heaven with earth, that means the practical and the spiritual are in harmony and working together. For you and me that means we can live from the inside out. The Trinity is in us, guiding us and influencing us, because it’s coming from within it makes a big difference! The difference is that, it’s without obligation, its apart of us. Holy Spirit is in us and as we recognize their abiding presence we can follow and listen. We can follow and listen because they live inside of us. We begin to understand that we are connected at the deepest level regardless of anything we’ve done or will do. That is why Jesus is the end of all religion. Jesus got inside of us without our efforts. Religion’s goal so to speak, is to make us holy and get us to look like god. Well, holiness is a person, his name is Jesus and he’s already inside of you and He is God. It is finished!

What do we do? We can rest; you’re fully accepted and loved. Fully redeemed and saved. We rejoice and tell others of this beautiful news of what God has done through his son Jesus. We start to realize we can fully live as it in heaven, because God is the presence of heaven and heaven/God is inside of you.

You’re free to love God and do whatever. Of course we’re still babies and learning from our Father. But the most beautiful things of God's design are that we can learn this together and enjoy God together. We were made from a family, the Trinity, and where two or three are gathered in my name there I AM.

If you’re still living a life with God as shoulds and have tos, know the Good News that Jesus liberated us from that life of religion. Freedom means without obligation, it means you want to do it and it’s good and pure and the outward display looks like heaven, looks like Jesus. You’re not alone living your life for God. God is in you, living your life with you. They know everything about life, how to love and have healthy relationships. They’re showing you the paths of life, showing you what you love, because they know you better than you know yourself. They are enjoying your life together with you. This is what life is all about and this is what they made possible through Jesus!

Enjoy your life without religion. It’s no more duty, because it’s influenced by love and desire. Thank you Jesus for showing us the way, the truth and the life!

- Katie

[miraclewoozi]

FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE. -l.c

pair : dino x fem!reader. prompt : “say you want me, and i’m yours.” SMUT. MINORS DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT.  wc : 5k. heads up / smut tags : ex-boyfriend!chan. everyone’s down horrendous. drinking/some alcohol consumption prior to the fucking (they aren’t drunk tho). chan is able to lift reader and carry her a short distance. oral (f rec). backshots. unprotected p-in-v sex. reader has solid arch game. chan calls reader good girl/pretty girl/ baby. it’s all very needy. notes : i had idubilu chan on the brain for a big portion of writing. this was supposed to be a drabble and then ended up longer than some of my actual fics, so. bon appetite i guess?

There’s a list of places you think you’d be okay to run into one of your exes. 

In the grocery store, for starters. At the gym. In a bar, at your favourite pizza place, the library… None of them would exactly be fun, but one way or another, you believe that they would all be quite manageable. 

Further down are family events. While on a date with someone else. At the beach, or a swimming pool. A doctors office. Considerably more uncomfortable. Would probably warrant a large glass of wine as soon as you got home. You would live, though. No doubt about it. 

But at a wedding? Not only is it not on there, it’s quite high up on its own index.

The Crisis List. 

Yet this is the position in which you find yourself on this beautiful summer’s evening. You suppose it’s sort of what you get for letting yourself be set up with a friend of a friend while you were in college and mixing your social circles: this is some sort of twisted, universal revenge. But of all the places you’ve pictured running into Chan and succeeding to pace yourself through awkward small-talk before parting ways again… you never imagined that a celebration of eternal love would be the setting. 

You recognised the sound of his voice pretty much as soon as you arrived, but you were thankfully seated on opposite sides of the aisle during the ceremony itself. It was therefore pretty easy to keep your eyes off him and instead focus on what was going on at the front of the room. This wasn’t so simple when you only knew one other person at your table during the dinner service and Chan was seated barely ten feet away, and every time you glanced over to him, he was blowing bubbles and entertaining a group of young kids. Every time he laughed, or even every time he made one of them laugh, your head would snap over on instinct. Though you locked eyes with him a few times, mostly you were able to look away again before he had the chance to catch you.

Regardless, seeing that brilliant smile from across the room full of strangers made your stomach twist, so much so that you couldn’t even finish your dessert. 

Thus far, the day has passed without any real incident; dinner was three hours ago and you’ve managed to avoid him almost perfectly. You keep telling yourself that if you can just make it a little while longer, you’ll be able to go back upstairs and retire to your hotel room, and maybe even eventually, this will become another one of those memories you can laugh about with your friends. 

Just a little while longer.

In the meantime, a stool at the very end of the bar is your sanctuary and it has been for so long that your ass has started to go numb. With more people in attendance at the reception than there were at the ceremony and dinner portions of the day, you’re doing a pretty fantastic job keeping your distance from Chan. His friends, too. Everyone, if you’re being completely honest: with your back to the room at large, you could forgive anyone here for assuming that you peaked early, got wasted and just no longer have the legs to move from your perch. 

But the truth is that you’re still nursing the same flute of champagne you were given on your way in. Still drawing your fingertip round and around the rim of the same glass, wiping off the lipstick marks you leave with every tiny new sip. Still watching the same bubbles rise up and burst at the same surface. You’re about as sober as anyone on the planet has ever been. 

At least, almost certainly, you’re the most sober adult in the building. 

You know it’s not exactly fair to have removed yourself from the fun like this on the happiest day of your friends’ lives. You’re overjoyed for them, you really are, and you sort of wish you could just shake this off and go about your business, pretending he’s not here so that you could enjoy yourself properly. You’ve never claimed to be the life and soul of the party, but you know being so distant is a new look on you.

If only it was as easy as simply caring less.

But you’re surrounded by happy couples and faced with the man who is the definition of ‘right person, wrong time’. How can you possibly think about anything else?

Your spine tingles with the feeling of someone hovering behind you and you pick your glass up into your hand, ready to spin around and tell a concerned bride — for the fifth time — that you promise, you’re okay. To keep up the lie about the bellyache you’ve been pretending to have for an hour now just to get her to go back to her party. You square your shoulders and put a smile onto your face, but you don’t have the chance to turn around and put up a façade. The person — who is decidedly not who you were expecting — appears to your right instead, a solid frame in a black suit swallowing up your periphery. Your excuses fade away to static in your brain. 

“Is this seat taken?” Chan asks, fingertips brushing over the leather of the chair adjacent to you. “Are you… waiting for someone?”

You shake your head, taking a deep breath. There’s no running away now. “Nope. All yours.”

He swings one leg over the stool and settles into it, both hands resting up on the bar. He, too, twitches his fingers against his glass. He, too, fails to even glance at you. 

“Been a while, huh?” He says after a few seconds. Even though music continues playing behind you both, it’s nowhere near as loud as the thick, uncomfortable silence that had started to settle between you. 

A while is sort of a massive understatement. You haven’t seen him in… four? Five years? Not since you left college and he accepted the job offer of a lifetime, pulling him all the way to the other side of the country. Not since, despite your shared willingness to try, you realised that the whole long-distance thing didn’t work for either of you; not since you ended up calling time on your relationship after just four months of being apart. 

Ending things meant saying goodbye to amost two and a half years though, in total.

You’d you’d never been broken up with over a video call before. It fucking sucked.

“I didn’t know you were around,” you say instead of answering the obvious. “Are you just here for this, or…?”

Chan takes a long sip from his drink and finishes the glass, pushing it away from himself. He shakes his head, scrunching his nose a little. You were surprised not to see him with some sort of a whiskey in-hand, so his reaction to the chug makes sense: he was never that big into wines. Some things never change. 

“I got promoted. Came with a relocation,” he tells you. This time, he turns his head and looks at you properly, a small smile tugging up the corners of his lips. 

“Oh, shit. Congratulations,” you offer, tilting your now mostly empty glass in his direction before draining the little bit in the bottom, just like he did. You know it’s probably all in your own head that the fizz gives you a bit of a confidence boost, but you find the nerve to move to face him fully: you’ve never been one to turn your nose up at a positive coincidence, after all. “That’s amazing.”

“Thank you,” he says, bowing his head. “It’s… good to be back.”

A few seconds later, he tags on, “and it’s really good to see you.”

The bartender comes back to see if she can get you anything else to drink now you’ve finally finished your champagne and Chan puts his card down for a round of your choosing. It helps loosen up the tension in your shoulders, stops you bouncing your leg against the rest beneath your seat, makes it a little bit easier to settle into a back and forth with him. Eventually, the conversation starts to flow as if you were never really apart. 

You laugh at his bad jokes. Chan shoves you playfully when you make some back. He gets so invested in catching up on what’s been going on in your life that he doesn’t even tell you what the promotion he got is, nor where he’s been relocated to. 

As the following few hours tick by, he doesn’t leave your side. Even when people come over to talk to him, even when your friends’ eyes start to find you together and linger, as they attempt to read your lips, pick apart your body language, as they begin whispering behind their hands. He takes exactly one bathroom break, and he finds his way straight back to the chair he left. He even scoots it a little bit closer.

And the longer he stays glued to your left, the more you find yourself starting to hope a little harder that wherever he’s living now, it’s not too far away. That whatever him being ‘back’ means, something happens because of it.

Your something comes in the form of your companion trying to persuade you to get up and dance with him. He fails, numerous times; you have a whole arsenal of excuses, some of which are recycled and things that he heard a very long time ago, but others are new. He raises his eyebrows at a couple of them, though you don’t know if he’s just shocked at your attempts or actually impressed. None of them work on him though. You should have remembered that he wasn’t a quitter.

“My shoes hurt,” you tell him on attempt number five. “You go, I’ll stay here.”

Clearly, this line of defence isn’t good enough either. 

“Just one song,” Chan asks again as he stands up from his chair and picks up one of your wrists, this time. You look down at where he’s holding you, but he doesn’t. “Please? Just… for me?”

“When was the last time I did anything ‘just for you’?” You scoff incredulously, shaking your head. 

It doesn’t. His eyes soften and he takes a small step closer to you, those perfect lips of his pressing into a pout. 

He drops his fingers lower and squeezes your hand lightly. “Too long ago. I miss it.”

Something in his stare looks a little far away and you wonder what exactly it is that he’s thinking about. Is he remembering the times you would bring him his favourite snacks when he was sick, ice his injuries after gruelling dance practices, brush sleep out of his eyes early in the mornings when he stayed up too late and couldn’t get out of bed, but really needed to make it to his 8AM classes? Is he remembering when you’d put band-aids on his papercuts? Make sure his laptop was fully charged when he had long study days? Pick him and his friends up from the bars and let him lean all his weight against you as you dragged him into your apartment?

(Those needy nights where you’d let him call you the prettiest girl in the world as he snuggled into your side and nuzzled his cold nose against your warm cheek? When you’d let him tell you, without even rolling your eyes, that you were his everything, the reason he had any strength, the love of his life, the only person he’d ever need—)

He uses your distractedness to his full advantage; as soon as the muscles in your arm go slack, he pulls you again and this time succeeds in getting you to your feet. You stumble a few steps towards him and he ends up leading you all the way over to the dance floor, grinning proudly the entire time.

“One song,” you stress, hanging your head to try and conceal the fact that you’re definitely blushing hard.

“Just one,” he lies, glancing back at you. 

You know he's lying, too. High-flying job aside, he’s always been a dancer at heart: when he turns around to face you, there’s a glint in his eyes that says ‘one... or five.’ 

Confirming your suspicions, seven songs later, you’re still up there with him. You’ve stopped caring about your dumb shoes, or having too many sets of eyes on you, or whether anyone here is murmuring about it. How could you mind, when he keeps finding little ways to touch you again? When he’s singing his heart out, serenading you with corny 90’s love songs, hand on his heart and everything? 

How could you mind, when he so clearly doesn’t care?

And the thing is… no part of you thinks that this is a bad idea. It could never be a bad thing to let somebody make your heart race this way and your brain so fuzzy; just seeing him grin at you as he extends his hand out, waiting for you to take it, feels like being twenty one all over again. And when he spins you and spins you and spins you until you’re dizzy, falling over your own feet and staggering until you land against his solid chest, laughing… when he catches you in both arms, and darts his tongue out over his lips at the exact moment you look at his face… 

Perhaps your rare moment of unabashed bravery is spurred on by the way he drinks you up like an elixir. Perhaps it’s spurred on by the way he adjusts himself to hold you tighter against him, perhaps it’s spurred on by the fact that this right here is exactly what you feel like you’ve been missing. Whatever the reason, you hook a finger through one of the belt-loops on his pants and manage to find your voice long enough to speak.

“My room or yours?” You ask, quietly enough only for him to hear, loudly enough that he can’t mistake you.

Letting out a breathy chuckle, he brings his palm up between your shoulder blades. “Don’t care,” he says, ducking lower and brushing the tip of his nose against your own. “Just… pick one. As soon as possible.”

A few people have already started to leave: couples with young families, older relatives who are getting tired, friends who have work in the morning, so you don’t feel too bad about slipping out into the corridor with Chan in tow as soon as you’ve grabbed your things. The elevator door closes behind you and you feel the mechanism start to pull you upwards, away from the hotel’s function room and towards the fourth floor to your own suite. Chan presses kiss after kiss to the back of your neck as soon as you’re alone, hands slipping around your waist and joining together just below your belly-button. 

“They have… cameras in these, you know,” you sigh, tilting your head to give him better access anyway. 

He chuckles quietly, nosing just behind your ear. “Okay?” He says, kissing you there too, bunching your dress in his hand and pulling it a little higher up your thigh. “So what?”

“So… fucking… public indecency,” you laugh, a little taken aback by his brazenness. 

It’s hard to be stern with him when he’s acting as if he never forgot how to press every single one of your buttons. Hell, as if he never stopped pushing them, in the first place. You lay one hand over both of his and squeeze gently, encouraging his teeth to keep grazing over the skin of your shoulder. You’ve never had any resolve when it comes to him. He clearly hasn’t forgotten.

Just as you’re relaxing into it, the elevator pings and you jolt away from him just in time for the door to open. The middle aged woman waiting to get in eyes you both as you rush out into the hallway and Chan grabs hold of your hand: you’re fairly sure she sucks her front teeth just before the door closes, but you don’t care. You’re too busy counting the rooms until you get to yours. 

409, 410, 411… 

“You look so fucking good right now,” Chan groans as you whip turn a corner and he quickens his pace to catch up, walking so fast he should probably be running instead. 

421, 422… 

“423,” you breathe, fumbling in your purse for the key-card. 

In a flash, you wave it over the sensor and pull down on the handle: before you have the chance to get dizzy from the speed of the turn, Chan has you pressed against the door from the inside. He doesn’t wait to be invited. He barely gives you the chance to catch your breath from your power-walk from the reception. Both his hands press into your hips when he brings his mouth down against yours, lips scorching hot, lifted up at the edges in a grin. Your knees go weak and you hold onto his biceps for stability, which… maybe, with how thick and sturdy they feel beneath your palms, isn’t a great way to help you calm down. 

When his tongue presses into your mouth and he tastes you for the first time in what feels like forever, you know the only thing keeping you standing is his strength. His hands, pinning you to the wood behind you. His body, pressing against you everywhere it possibly can. His muscular thigh, slotted between yours, giving you something to relax down against but also, to find a tiny little bit of friction from.

He dips down a little lower, looping his hands around you just below your ass, and with a quick movement he lifts you up off the floor completely. You hook your ankles together behind him, shifting to get higher up on his hips: when he steps away from the door, you drop your head down to his shoulder and a smirk replaces his prior very needy expression, feeling how warm you are at your core now your dress has hiked up around your waist. 

“Say you want me,” he says, licking a stripe up the side of your neck. He knows you do. 

“Huh?” 

Chan repeats, “say you want me.” 

You grasp harder at his hair and pull, but he doesn’t move away from your neck, just keeps kissing you at your sweet-spot until he’s walked a few paces to the middle of the room, holding you up over the hotel’s generously sized bed. 

“Say you want me, and I’m yours.”

He’s… yours?

It takes you a moment to process it but you don’t have to think twice about how you respond, even though your stomach flips at this very open-hearted confession. The entire way back up here, part of you expected this to be little more than a one-night-only special event, but…

“Shit,” you whine, feeling his fingers slip beneath the thin fabric of your underwear at your hip and tug. He pulls back from you at the sound of your voice, determined to look you in the eyes when you say it. 

Faces just inches apart, you admit, “I– I want you, Chan. Please. I want you so much.”

He bounces you up a little bit higher to get you to unhook your ankles and proceeds to basically drop you down onto the mattress, pushing both his shirt sleeves up to his elbows and reaching for his necktie. In a manner you can only describe as obscenely smooth, he grabs the knot and pulls, tugging it side to side to make it looser. The expensive silk comes undone easily. He balls it in his fist. You watch him toss his tie to the side, snap open a few more buttons, and with heavily lidded eyes, he plants one knee on the comforter, before crawling up the length of your body until you’re face-to-face again.

You take care of the remaining buttons on his shirt for him as he trails his lips all over your throat, your chest, your shoulders: even down your arms, to the crooks of your elbows, everywhere he can reach with your clothes still on. When his upper body is bare, he disregards the fact that you’re still wearing anything at all and kisses down your torso anyway. 

He lays between your thighs and presses his lips to them, too, pushing your dress up higher until it’s bunched up around your ribcage. One of his hands pushes your panties to the side and the other one reaches up to grab hold of yours, pulling it down to lace your fingers back into his hair. You do as he silently asks, and you swear his eyes roll back into his head at the first little pull. 

Chan always liked giving, but he loved it when you used him like a little toy, tugging and moving him around until you couldn’t handle him anymore.

Some things never change.

You’re about to tell him that he doesn’t have to do this. That you could take him now, if he wanted to hurry and get to it, because you’re already feeling yourself flutter at the thought of having him buried inside you. But his lips part and you feel the tip of his tongue drag through your folds, separating them, exposing you; he collects your arousal and swallows it back, pressing his tongue into your hole, swirling it around your clit, sending sparks up and down your spine.

That ridiculous, stupid idea dies magnificently. You let Chan lose himself in you, and in equal parts, you lose yourself in him. In the cold bite of the ring decorating his middle finger as he trails them down your sensitive skin, in the way he grunts and moans and praises you between your legs. You selfish– and selfless–ly let him have his way, right up until you feel so tense you could snap. 

Sure, you could let yourself come undone like this. Easily. In seconds, even, because he’s got you right there and you’re battling not to let it wash over you. But there’s something you need even more than the euphoria of your own release.

You scrunch your fist in his strands so hard that it forces him to pull away from you, gasping and cringing at the sting. At this, before he has the chance to ask what’s wrong, why you’ve stopped, if you’re okay, you press up onto one elbow, straps hanging off your shoulders, your own hair a mess. Somehow, Chan still looks up at you with glittering eyes, so shiny you can see their sweet, questioning gaze even in the dark. 

“Need you, now,” you tell him, your chest rising and falling in shallow breaths. He wipes over his lips on the back of his hand and nods, pulling himself up onto his knees. You let go of him and tug your dress up over your head while he fiddles with the buckle on his belt. 

“Flip over,” he says huskily, tugging it free just as quickly as he did with his tie, and when it thunks to the floor, you hear him start to move his pants down his legs too. 

You do as he says, turning onto your front, bracing yourself on your knees with your hands clasped together beneath your head. Your back arches naturally for him, pressing your hips higher into the air; his breath catches at the sight of you, your perfect ass, your dribbling pussy. 

It’s his favourite view. Always has been. Shit, nothing since the last time he was with you has ever come close.

“Deep breath for me,” he says, so soft in comparison to the way his fingers on one hand grasp at your hip and you feel the blunt edges of his nails digging into your skin. You inhale through your mouth, loud enough for him to hear. “That’s it. My good girl.”

He’s so fucking hard when he finally drags his tip through your folds, so heavy and thick when he pushes inside you inch by inch. The stretch is more intense than you remember, and despite slowly letting the breath you sucked in leave your lungs, you feel all of your muscles go tense. Your eyes squeeze shut. Your torso goes tight. You know your cunt hugs him because of how he lets go of his length and lays his hand flat in the middle of your back, dragging his thumb back and forth, trying to soothe you through it.

“Easy,” he says to you, slowing but not stopping until he’s buried all the way inside you. He’s so deep, you swear he nudges something he shouldn’t. So far inside you that you don’t know what to do with yourself. “Relax, baby. I’ve got you.”

It’s a little difficult when you feel more full now than you ever have, but slowly, you manage to loosen up and it’s only when you give a small nod of your head and an 'mhm' that he starts to rock his hips back and forth. Shallow, to start with, but with the angle he slides into you at, he might as well be going full depth, full force, full speed with how feverish this already is. You bunch the comforter in your fist, letting those familiar sensations of being fucked by Chan take over, letting the discomfort subside until it's replaced only by pleasure.

By which point, he's stopped treating you like a fragile doll, and has started to handle you like the person he wishes he never lost.

Those dancer hips haven't gone to waste, you realise, as he snaps them fluidly into you, the harsh slap of skin-on-skin punctuating every single sound that escapes you both. Sometimes, he pulls you back, spearing you wholly on his length, letting you do some of the work and control the pace. Sometimes, he holds you completely still so that he can have it all.

At all times, you feel yourself losing your mind piece by piece. Though you've tried to be with other people since that horrendous breakup, it's never managed to stick, and you find yourself thinking that maybe in a way, you were waiting for him. Hoping that one day, he'd waltz his way back into your life and sweep you off your feet and make sure you never forgot just how well he can give it to you. Praying that the universe was going to give you another chance.

One of his hands slips around your waist, now, and you feel him come down lower, pressing his chest against your back. His thrusts stop being so long and instead, he settles for harsh, deep ruts. His fingers find and start strumming over your clit, and you can feel yourself start to break apart with gasps and choked moans and whines of his name.

You're done for, and he knows it, but he still teases you as he kisses up your spine.

"Wanna feel you come, pretty girl," he says. His fingers move so easily that it takes everything you have not to collapse beneath him. “Missed feeling this pretty pussy around me. Wasn’t the same watching you play with it on the phone.”

You hide your face in the comforter and gasp, that beautiful heat starting to rise up inside you again. “Fuck, Chan—”

“That’s it,” he guides you, grunting with every little spasm of your walls. “Missed you so much.”

“I missed— missed—” you try to say, but he finds just the right pattern to make you squeak and you tug harder at the sheets. “Oh my God—”

Your universe explodes as he hits just the right spot inside you and you feel your peak slam through you, hips jerking back to meet his until there’s no room for any air to pass between your bodies. Chan stills, letting you ride yourself through it, easing up a little with the pressure of his fingers but still keeping them moving to milk every ounce of pleasure that he can from you.

With your thighs still shaking, you buckle downwards and he slips out of you unintentionally as you fight to catch your breath. You’re still seeing spots, still trying to put your thoughts in the right order, but when he smooths his hands over your ass and down the backs of your thighs, still up on his knees behind you, you slowly start to come back to Earth.

You slowly move round to lie on your back so you can look up at him, his still hard, now soaked cock sitting heavily against his thigh. He settles his hands on your knees, and you lean over to the side to pass your finger over one of the light switches. The one behind the headboard flickers to life and illuminates him: a sheen of sweat makes his broad frame gleam, his rosy blush makes your chest stutter.

“I missed you too,” you say quietly, unsure now if he was just saying so in the heat of the moment or if it was the truth.

You never needed to worry, though. Not if the way he drops down onto one elbow and kisses your newly regained breath straight back out of your lungs, cupping your cheek with his other hand is anything to go by.

“You meant it, then? You really want me?” He asks, pulling away only to drag his thumb over the corner of your mouth. You nod, turning your head a little and pursing your lips forward, pressing a kiss to his skin.

“I never stopped,” you tell him.

Little celebratory fireworks start to dance in his pretty eyes.

“Yeah?” He breathes, rolling onto his back and pulling you on top of him. “Good. Neither did I.”

thank u so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it! as always, likes, reblogs, comments & feedback are so so appreciated.<3 thank u so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it! as always, likes, reblogs, comments & feedback are so so appreciated.<3

[gatekeeper-watchman]

What the Bible Says about Evil in the World

Everywhere in this world, we find heartache, strife, sickness, poverty, injustice, and a host of other ills. Why can’t men live in peace and enjoy the good things on this earth? The Bible (God’s book to mankind) gives us the answer to these questions and tells us how to be born again and what that means. He tells us in His Book that all the troubles in the world are due to either my sin or someone else’s. All of mankind is sinful and thus separated from the holiness of God.

Sin and the Wages of Sin

For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23

What exactly is sin? If you asked ten different people, you might get ten different answers. Some might say that sin is “doing something wrong or breaking the law,” while others might say that sin is “hurting another person or taking an innocent life.” Still, others might deny the very existence of sin, saying that there is no such thing as right or wrong– in short, that there are no real absolutes in this world. However, most people agree (regardless of culture) that certain actions are wrong, and should be punishable by fines, imprisonment, or even death.

Even the person who “doesn’t believe in right or wrong” would have a hard time observing a maniac rape and murder a small child, and say that what happened to them was not a crime.

Sin is a terminal disease that eats away at the very heart of this planet. It destroys individual people, families, cultures, and even the earth itself. Our world is defiled by it, yet most people cannot even give a definition of the word, or grasp the true gravity of the situation. What is sin? Surely sin is more than ten different opinions from ten different people. Is there any final authority on this subject?

The Bible says that sin is a heart condition. It is a condition of rebellion against God, which stems from pride. The Bible even refers to pride as “original sin.” The Hebrew definition of the word sin means “to miss the mark.” God created us to be like Him, but our pride and rebellion make us fall far short of that purpose. Our actions, though they may be “sinful” are only the fruit of our rebellion against God. Our outward actions merely mirror our true inner condition. It is our true inner condition that God is concerned with. He knows the “real you” better than you do because he sees “the inner man” and all your secret thoughts and motives.

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13 (NIV)

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8

Though one may lead a “good life” on the outside, God looks at the heart. It is the nature of man to look outward, but outward appearances can be deceiving.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchers, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness. Even so, ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. Matthew 23:27-28

We cannot deal with our sins by “cleaning ourselves up” on the outside when our problem is a heart condition. “Verily, verily, I say unto you, whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin” (John 8:34). We are all slaves to our sinful nature, and we can only be cleansed from within.

Since sin is the root cause of all our troubles, we must deal with our sins first if we want fewer troubles in our lives. How do we get rid of sin? God tells us in His Word that by nature we are “…dead in trespasses and sin;” (Ephesians 2:1) and that we are “…alienated from the life of God…” (Ephesians 4:18). Just as a body without physical life is declared physically dead, so anyone who is separated from God is described in the Bible as spiritually dead. As long as we remain spiritually dead, we cannot know God.

Breaking Free from the Wages of Sin

We all need a new life. We need to be cleansed from sin and its penalty (which is death) and restored to fellowship with God who made us all. That is what Jesus Christ (God’s Son) meant when He said we “must be born again” (John 3:7). “…Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3). Without the experience of the “new birth” we have no hope of enjoying the glories of heaven nor escaping the terrors of hell. Have you been born again?

The “new birth” is not a religion, not living up to a creed, not a set of rituals, nor joining a church or denomination. It’s a transformation. Our old nature is changed and we receive a new one. Old things pass away and all things become new in Christ. We receive a new heart, new desires, new ideas, and a new direction because of this new nature. A birth is the coming into being of a new life which has the nature of its parents. When you were born the first time, you were made a partaker of the nature of natural man. When you are born again, you become a partaker of the divine nature (2 Peter 1:4). God can become your heavenly Father.

The greatest attribute of God is that He is a God of love. He loves you and me. He loves all sinners and wants to save every one of us from hell and the terrible results of our sins. His Word tells us, “But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “For He hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him” (2 Corinthians 5:21). God hates sin because of what it produces– war, sickness, poverty, etc., but God loves the sinner.

God sent Jesus Christ, His only Son so that we might have new, everlasting life. The Bible tells us, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). By His death and resurrection, Jesus paid for our salvation. He broke the power of sin and death, making it possible for us to have everlasting life. The life of God raised Jesus from the dead and He was the first-born Son into the kingdom of God.

Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins: Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And He is before all things, and by Him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence. Colossians 1:12-18

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was nailed to a cross by ungodly men for no sin of His own. He was an innocent man– the only man who was ever perfect and sinless. He never sinned, yet He took your sins and mine by taking an unjust death. Because He did this willingly, He was raised from the dead by His Father and given life and authority over the powers of darkness. God now imparts that same life and authority to all those who come receiving His provision for their sin. “…the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).

We must accept God’s Word that says we all are sinners and know that it is sin that separates us from God and repent or “turn away” from that sin. Until we each acknowledge, and ask forgiveness for our guilt, we will never be free from it. It will eventually lead us right into hell.

The Lord is…not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

God wants to give us His power over sin. We cannot conquer sin without that power. God wants to give us life for death, beauty for ashes, health for sickness, joy for grief, peace for strife, and love for hate. God’s Word says, “…I come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). Do you want abundant life? This abundant life comes only as we are born again and as we follow on and receive all that God promises us.

It isn’t always easy following God, but nothing worthwhile ever was. You may be ridiculed and persecuted. You will face many temptations to fall back into your old nature. But you can be assured that God is with you, and He will give you the power to overcome every one of them.

But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, and be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith. Philippians 3:7-9

The Prayer for Salvation

You can pray right now and ask God to come into your heart and receive the new birth. Simply talk to Him as you would talk to another person. You might pray a prayer similar to this:

God, I come to you in the name of Jesus, I do not know you personally, but I want to know you. I believe that Your Word, the Bible is true. I repent for hardening my heart toward you and delighting myself in things you hate. I don’t want to go to hell; I want to be free of my sin. Dear God, I ask Jesus to come into my heart and cleanse me of the guilt of my sins and give me the power to overcome those sins. I want to be Your child and learn of Your ways. Keep me from evil and save my soul. I am asking to receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord so that I can experience God’s love and plan for my life. Amen.

If you said that prayer and meant it from your heart, you are now a child of God. You will need to do four things faithfully every day so you will grow in God.

Read God’s Word daily. You need to read and study God’s Word (the Bible) every day. “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15). This is how you will learn about God’s ways and how to overcome your problems and troubles. His Word brings strength to your spiritual nature. If you do not have a Bible, make your first prayer request to God to supply you with one. “But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience, persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which can make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:10-17).

Pray to God daily. We must fellowship and talk to God if we are to hear His guidance and learn of His nature. We are promised that all of our needs shall be met if we will only ask the Father in the name of Jesus. “And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son If ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it. If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:13-15).“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).

Fellowship with like believers daily. Ask the Lord to show you the people you are to pray and fellowship with. He does not want you to be alone in your Christian walk. We need one another’s prayers, encouragement, and love to grow in God. “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Keep your heart pure before the Lord daily. Ask God to cleanse you of all sin and impure thoughts and motives. Satan, our enemy, will try to break our fellowship with God by getting us back into sin or trying to get us angry at God. Guard against this by resisting the devil daily. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). “Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). From: Steven P. Miller @ParkermillerQ,  gatekeeperwatchman.org Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups, Friday, December 8, 2023, Jacksonville, Florida., USA.  X ... @ParkermillerQ

[holisticsoulhealer]

Forgiveness - A Spiritual Story

I know I’ve redirected energy from the word and meaning of forgiveness, towards instead, the word and meaning of understanding. I live by that more than living in a state of needing to forgive those who had hurt my feelings, troubled me, caused me reason for pause. Now I love to stand in the emotions, inviting them to carry me forward into greater awareness and more understanding.

Mostly, I am in a constant place of creating more grace, by forgiving me for that which I wasn’t aware enough to not do, know or change at the time. I really do feel this is where forgiveness deserves its rightful spot in our World. There is an innocence that lives here, with a sweetness to always being willing to learn, grow and generate more wisdom. Wisdom and kindness are the two elements of humanity that I wish to cultivate for the rest of life and for time beyond this realm, to the point of eternity (if there is a point of that).

I have personally closed more doors behind me, with family, friends, neighbors and people I’ve known than most individuals I’ve had the extreme good fortune to meet, here on earth. At first I had so much work to do, to forgive myself for choosing me and the peace and harmony I could create inside, rather than pursuing relationships with those that don’t vibrate at the same levels. I stopped trying to make things work, when they didn’t, and stopped explaining to others why my story read differently than many of theirs.

I chose deliberately to only have close relationships in authentic and beautiful ways. It means I don’t need many people around me, I don’t need the “Hallmark holidays” with large tables filled with great people. I’m fine if that shows up and perfectly happy to share time with one or two very important people, who get me, accept me in all my many shades of human, and love me regardless. I mostly found that my awesome partner, Jeff, is more than enough for me, without anyone else.

Simple aspects of life delight me these days, and I forgive me completely and absolutely for not being willing to allow superficial connections, conversations or time shared with those who aren’t on the same page as me.

I mean this.

I forgive me for choosing me, and I now celebrate that I am only choosing that which flows through me, in my field of energy with ease and sincerity.

As always, please share this post with anyone that you feel can benefit from it! Please like us on your social media channels and subscribe to our mailing list if you haven't already done so! We are mailing out a monthly newsletter and a recap each week of our blog posts and interesting tidbits! This is how you can stay informed with what is new in the world of The Holistic Soul Healer!!

Love & Blessings,

Ruth

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[ordinary-eternalmachinery]

to hell with "good"

I have decided to make this place completely anonymous because I want to have a space on the internet to scream into the void and write unhinged poetry.

I have called it ordinary eternal machinery after a quote from Leonard Cohen's novel Beautiful Losers. I picked it because it sounded nice and evocative when I read the book. I don't know if Beautiful Losers is a good book or a pretentious piece of crap, and at this point I don't care about knowing. It left a small print on my teenage brain regardless of its merits.

I used to be an artsy kid - I was great at writing, decent at photography, and showed a lot of potential in drawing. At this point I have been shunning any kind of creative output for 10 years because I was (and am still) deeply, deeply ashamed of everything I create, because I wanted it to be good which at the end of the day might really just mean marketable.

The best stuff I ever wrote were letters or fragments of letters to my best-friend-turned-lover when I was 16. Sometimes about our hopes and dreams, but mostly about our adventures. I'm pretty sure that to anyone else, it was mostly unintelligible nonsense strung together, but to me it was a way of making our memories into a painting or a photograph. To let them know exactly about the way I experienced our time together and what it meant to me. To make it into pictures and hang them all up together like polaroids on a string.

To the world, what I used to write back then would be, at best, pretty but worthless. Like seaglass.

Why did I ever think that anything I made had to be anything more than that?

I won't say that I wish I had kept on writing. From now on I'm just writing.

I am a fucked up little animal. The universe staring at itself. I am still the mutinous little land pirate who crawled into cylindrical billboards with their best friend precisely because that's not a place you're supposed to crawl into.

I'm only here this once and I need to write about how pretty girls make me feel and how the sunshine through my grimy window makes me ache and about falling asleep while someone's playing the guitar in the next room.

There's nothing else. There's nothing else.

[xsadcorebenji]

the only truth to my life

is just an endurance test

zeus had

eagles devour prometheus’s innards

repeatedly for an eternity

for simply bringing

the gift of fire

(“stolen” i mean ripped from the hands of such ugly tyrants)

and i wonder

is it

so bad,

that visceral physical punishment over and over

at least

someone loves you prometheus

you brought us all

a bouquet of fires

a crisis hotline person i called to keep me company

told me

that they commend me for just going through so much loss

please, i never asked

for such an endurance test and i didn’t ask for strength

i am doing my best not to be as bitter as so many people

i really try my damnedest

i don’t care if

a goddamn person in the world loves me anymore

or thinks anything kind for me

i just don’t want to be

anyone i’m blood related to

just too radically different peoples

i am so tired

i had a good night last night

and a good day during the day

but can the universe stop

fucking destroying itself after a cycle of two days every third day

there’s only so much

i know i get angry and i’m a rather difficult person to be with

but

i wish you saw me for the kind parts

i work so terribly hard to be kind however

i cannot tell what you’d consider kind from your perspective

i just never wanted to be like my family

kinda why i always just joke and talk about everything regardless of how comfortable or conscientious it is

i grew up with no one except for ppl who just bottled themselves up and turned themselves into landkinds

and they consider me

the biggest landmine

in this life

i worked very damn hard

to be someone unlike them

and i have friends who love me

and i don’t know

so many ppl want someone to tell that they’re proud of them or all these very kind things

i don’t want kind words,

i just wanted someone to love me deeper than i can love me

just hold my hand

from time to time

my thoughts always goes to a younger different version of you from the early days

whenever i am tired and lonely

i once had someone

who wanted to hold my hand during

good times and not so good times

hold my hand

just hold my hand

i just wanted

someone to hold my hand

during all of this

you once told me

during a day when i as reacting to an article i found infuriating

wrote a whole vent to the world

and you told me

you loved me because i always stuck to my guns regardless

just brazenly

and it’s hard to forget about

therapist

says i don’t really give a chance to let ppl to grow to love me

and i truly don’t

i loved that you wanted me around

even when no one else

really wanted me around

a hand to hold

i cried my entire life

for a hand to hold

still crying it seems

i don’t know or care to know who you are anymore

i just

really terribly miss

that person who loved me

all the time actually

just a phantom memory

a phantom heartbeat

i write so many metaphors and all these fantastical romantic soliloquies

i wish you never loved me sometimes

name a worst drug than the oxytocin produced by the warmth of romantic love

there isn’t one

what a terrifying addiction

and my goodness

the withdrawals

are exhausting

terrible night

just ironic

how you can be so fucking aggressive

and have someone reassure and shoo away all the guilt you have festering

and me,

i have to stand there

constantly and just let everyone think i’m a monster

a bastard

and just because

you think my partaking of psychiatric medication is an inconvenience for you

christ

christ

it is horrifying unfair

how easily

everyone wants you just because beauty standards

what good heart do you even possess

fucking god i never saw it

blood strings between us

and me

no one

loves me

like that

i miss

my old night stand lamp

telling each other good night after talking on skype

and reading 1q84

into the late hours

after you fell asleep

this lamp next to me

sleeping next to you over skype

who was the person who loved me so terribly

who was that person

she loved me so terribly

i loved her

too

but

i think i must’ve imagined everything

it just sounds so insane

especially now

in a world where everyone is so hurt and burned out

just no love or curiosity for one another

or rather

no curiosity for me it seems

i loved her

i didn’t want

anyone else

who even were you

why did you want to know me so much

who was that person

i don’t even know anymore

i’m so sad without her actually

i can still have fun

i can still laugh

and i can still cry and i can still have fun and i can still love myself

but she’s gone

she’s gone

that person who loved me is gone

i wish i could call her

i wish

i knew where to find anyone like her

she’s gone and fox is gone

and i am the saddest i’ve ever known

baby

the person that loves me doesn’t have a name anymore

i can only name myself but it surely is getting boring

baby

i loved her

who even was she?

that person

who loved me

please

hold my hand

my heart and chest hurts a lot

and i just don’t want to be alone

baby

where are you?

i am so alone

i want to love you

i wish you’d

show yourself anyone

someone

please

someone hold my hand please

tell me you love me please

i’m so tired

of watching everyone sympathize with that terrifying person

and me

i have

no one but a mirror

o god

my heart hurts