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lucidcreates · 3 months ago

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Willie Gaymon's Going Home Ceremony

A story from Pamelita's (his sister-in-law) perspective.

It was a sad day for the family as we gathered together to say a final farewell to Willie Gaymon, Father, Grandfather, Husband, Brother, Uncle, Cousin, Friend.

The day we heard of his passing, some family drove from another state to support each other, though grieving we were there for each other sharing fond memories.

The family again came together to find ways to give Willie a respectful funeral. Times are tough but his stepson Kyrelle (we call him KP), who Willie helped to raise since KP was two years old (KP is now 33 years old) had the idea to start a GoFundMe, loved ones and strangers gave to the fund and because of this it gratefully helped the family to truly honor Willie, sending him home with dignity. The funds helped to cover some of the costs of the funeral.

The day of the funeral we gathered at the designated funeral home to pay our respects. We hugged each other. Of course many cried, and we held onto one another, stood beside each other as we listened to good memories of Willie. Tears of grief helped to release the sadness and possible turmoil within. We listened and were there for each other.

As one walked into the large funeral room where Willie lay one felt and sensed the love and respect the family have for him. Lovely music played low, some of his favorite songs, giant bouquet of white roses and other flowers placed near the end of his coffin, many pictures of Willie and his family in various collages, some on the door as one walked in, other picture collages near him. A digital screen of more family pictures and memories, every picture with Willie smiling, holding his children when they were babies, and through the years his being there for his children and sharing good times with loved ones. I noticed many (but not most) of the pictures displayed I took throughout the years.

Willie is my brother-in-law and at the time of his passing my sister and he were divorced for some years, yet I knew many of Willie's family. As I attended the funeral to be there for family and to pay my respects to Willie, I said hi to every single person whether or not I knew them, and most I did not know, and I hugged every single person I knew or if they looked familiar. I just wanted to send my love in different ways. With most of Willie's family I let them know I am his sister-in-law and mentioned my sister's name, ahhh, many said, they remembered me or knew of me via my sister, and some of Willie's family I kept in contact with.

"I just saw him two months ago." I said to some. In June I brought Willie's youngest son over to see him at different times while my nephew staid with me during the summer, his son also staid over Willie's for father and son time and bonding. I also sat each time and spoke with Willie, once we spoke for over an hour. The last phone text message I received from him was early August 2024, he said he was going on a trip to visit his eldest sister down South, I text back to have a fun good time and to have a safe journey. Less than two weeks later he passed on August 14.

Raw honesty, Willie and I had our ups and downs as in-laws have through the thirty to thirty one years of knowing each other since he met and married my sister, but what remained was the respect and love, everything else as the saying goes is 'water under the bridge', meaning it flows away. The last times I met Willie we showed and spoke only respect for each other.

At the funeral during the wake, which is before the ceremony so one can walk to the coffin and say farewell, one of Willie's child, the only one with his name sake, Willie Junior, stood over Willie's coffin and did not move, even during the service. Silent and sad, holding Willie's white gloved hand. The love in the room for Willie filled the air.

Willie was well dressed in a medium-dark gray suit, he had on a dark gray hat similar to a trilby hat and had on white clothed gloves. He was presented well and with care, going home in high style and classy classic fashion, laying relaxed on a soft white 'bedding' in his shiny new coffin during his long sleep.

"He looks peaceful. He is at peace." I said for his family, especially for Willie, Jr to hear. Some nodded.

My sister, though Willie's ex-wife for years, kept in touch with Willie's siblings and other family, she helped a great deal with the funeral arrangements, helped to prepare the hall where the repass would be held, along with other family such as my nephews and nieces, helped with the funeral program (which included some of Willie's sensational and talented paintings and artwork), helped to put together the pictures for the collages seen around the ceremonial room, my sis and her children, Willie's siblings, and others did a good job in giving Willie a wonderful send off. A tribute and personal touch at the repass was to put paint brushes in every bouquet vase which sat in the center of each table, to honor Willie as an artist and a painter, a lovely idea presented by one of my nephews.

The service began with a prayer and the family walking in, a very long line of family, then a niece of Willie reminded everyone that first and foremost the foundation of their family is Love.

The ceremony was lovely, there were family representing Willie's siblings (he was the only brother of six, five sisters, two who passed before him), Willie's nieces and nephews, Willie's children. Each spoke so highly of Willie, amazing speeches and retelling of happy times and the man Willie was, of how he supported his family and impacted each of them. My nephews and nieces gave phenomenal, loving speeches which touched my heart.

Each person gave good fond memories and reminded others why Willie was so special to them. What a wonderful tribute.

Later during the 'open to all' where anyone can come up to speak, friends and family reminded everyone why Willy was an amazing person. Friends Willie knew for twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years, childhood friends and those he met along the way in his long well-lived life.

Willie had a Tailor Shop and was a gifted Fashion Designer. He later found his passion in Teaching, taught for over 30 years as an Art Teacher. He also sketched and painted and many requested his artwork. There was a collage of his artwork in back of the funeral program.

More than anything willy was a Family Man. He had many children and helped to raise them all. Willie also was a Father Figure to a host of people, especially to some of his nieces, nephews and family friends who looked up to him. Some who spoke reminded us how he was there for them as not just an Uncle but also as a Father Figure. Such good memories.

Some took the passing hard, one person in particular went up there to express her pain, in a dramatic way, that's all I will say about that.

There were poems read, songs sung, scriptures read, pastors who spoke, people nodded, smiled, laughed with fun and funny memories of happiness with Willie. Some friends were pastors so we had many blessings as they recalled a life shared with Willie as a good friend. He was sent off with love, a celebration, as we were reminded this is a time to honor and cheer Willie, not just to cry that he is gone. The good times were remembered, and sometimes laughter filled the air with a good joke to lighten the mood. The telling of a long good life which made an impact on many.

Willie will be remembered by many, he impacted so many lives.

After the ceremony there was one last farewell to Willie as people viewed him in his coffin for the last time, hugs between loved ones, and then many headed to the repass held at a church, which is mine and my sisters church we were raised up in from Sunday school, Bible lessons, choir practice, teen fellowships, gatherings, church service. Each of my sister's children were christened at this church. Willie and my Sister were married at this church and also held their wedding reunion. In the community hall of this church the repass was held.

My nephew, my sister's eldest child, Willie's stepson, cooked for 100 people for the repass, a 5 star catering from a talented Chef. My nephew Kyrelle, we call him KP, is a chef, he did so much to help honor his stepfather. Family and friends ate, drank (no alcohol allowed in the church though some snuck in liquor), and continued to cheer good memories of Willie. Willie's eldest child and first daughter made T-shirts with Willie's face and the words "In Loving Memory of Willie Gaymon. Forever In Our Hearts."

There seemed to be about 150 to 200 people at the funeral but less than 100 were at the repass because there was plenty of food left over, and some took silver pans of food home for another day.

I did not go to the repass, but I heard it was truly wonderful. I saw a video of all the food my nephew cooked, just wow.

Some family staid over my home the day before the funeral and the night after the funeral. After the repass some of Willie's children and family staid up all night, continue to recall memories of Willie and supporting each other in love. When they were ready to sleep, some gave me a call and though 2am in the morning, I woke up to receive their call and opened the door to let them in, having made up spare beds with clean sheets, pillow, (no blanket needed since it was a hot summer), so they can have a safe place to stay. The next day family headed home. Some took planes, or railway trains, or couch buses, or drove in cars to get to the funeral, and of course those traveling from all boroughs of the city. And now they were headed home.

I reminded the children that grief will hit them, it's OK to cry, release the grief, but no matter what keep going.

The way for them to continue to honor their Father is to honor themselves. Their Father loved each and every one of them very much and the children taking care of themselves, getting along with each other, living a good happy life, is what Willie wanted the most, to see them doing well. Honor the memory of your Father by honoring yourself. His children are his Legacy.

Willie was a Father figure to many, he had two biological children before he met my sister, and was a Father figure to others, including nieces and nephews, again before he met my sister. My sis had one child, KP, before meeting Willy. They blended their family after meeting each other, all the children raised together and kept in touch during childhood and as adults. Now most of Willie's children are adults, his two youngest are teenagers, 17 and 15. I continue to pray for all of Willie's children, not just the biological ones of my sister. Some of Willie's nieces and nephews call me Auntie. All the children and the rest of the family vow to continue to keep in touch and be there for each other as they go through the grief and sorrow of losing Willie.

An example of the Father figure Willie was to many, my little cousin (she's now in her thirties) saw Willie as a Father figure, she lived with my sis and Willie for some years and Willie taught her how to drive. My young cousin was not a biological family of Willie and yet he treated her not only as part of his family, but like a daughter. As I stood next to her while we were over Willie's coffin paying our respects to him as he 'slept' she shed tears remembering Willie and what he meant to her. I said he taught you how to drive, I remember, he was there for you, as I hugged her. She cried and said if it wasn't for him she wouldn't know how to drive and he helped her in so many ways. This is the quality of Willie and how he touched many lives.

The children decided to cremate Willie. Sometimes a loved one is held in a well-made, well designed Urn, yet some of the ashes are put into special items, such as a locket, and given to those he was closest with. Perhaps the children will do something similar, it may mean a lot to them. I can imagine Willie, Jr holding onto a special item with some of Willie's ashes in it, the way he stood over Willie's body in the coffin, holding his hand throughout the wake and ceremony not wanting to let go, but after a time must. Maybe in such a way he can hold onto Willie again. I hope all Willie's loved ones find peace and instead of the overwhelming grief of losing Willie, they smile throughout their lives in fond happy memories of Willie.

I wanted to share just a ‘brief’ telling about the respectful and dignified ceremony Willie's loved ones gave him for a final farewell.

It says a lot when all close relatives and long-time friends made time for Willie's funeral, all his living siblings, all his nephews and nieces, all his children and grandchildren (except a brand new baby just a few weeks old), long-time (including childhood) friends, his co-workers (he was a retired teacher), most likely former students. I did not know most of the people at the funeral and yet I knew and met all his siblings and most of their children, and of course all of Willie's children. Willie has now gone home to spend time with his parents and siblings who passed before him.

My sister's family also supported her and the children, for example our Mom, cousins, family friends, and other relatives came to pay their respects and be there for the children and my sis, they also met Willie from time to time at family gatherings when my sis and Willie were married for over twenty years. Those who could not make it, because many family live in different states and overseas, sent well wishes, and some, for example our Father and Stepmother, also gave to the GoFundMe. Many loved ones, including total strangers contributed in helping to give Willie a wonderful respectful going home service and memorial.

For the GoFundMe I asked my nephew KP if I could share the GoFundMe link on my social sites, he said yes. I noticed thousands of views for the posts and over one hundred reposts and comments (mostly via Twitter / X posts), some also asked for a Cashapp so I shared my nephew KP's Cashapp. I don’t know if the views translated to anyone giving, but I heard there were a good amount of anonymous donations. For complete strangers to help in giving to Willie's funeral costs, I am grateful. This funeral retelling in story form is my way of saying "Thank You."

Below is a copy of some of the funeral program. My family is very private so this story and what I share is just a snippet while I continue to keep my family's privacy.

Live with peace in your heart. Be Blessed.

Loving vibrations pour out from me towards you.

With Love,

Pamelita

P.S. Continue to keep Willie's family especially his children in your prayers.

KP, Willie's stepson cooked for 100 people for the repass, he also set up the GoFundMe to help family in giving Willie a dignified and respectful funeral, please bless KP's Cash App: https://cash.app/$KyrelleLee This is the link to the GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/df18c9d8

Below are the Cash App to two more of Willie's children. Kyara who is a poet and artist, she was blessed with her Father's artistic talents. Instagram link to some of her artwork: https://www.instagram.com/kyara.psd Bless her Cash App: https://cash.app/$kyaraprincey

Kye who just started college for the first time. Kye was at college orientation when Kye heard about Willie's passing. Kye had to leave school before classes even began. Kye missed the first two weeks of university courses. Kye coordinated with school officials so they know what happened, of losing a Father and wanted to attend his funeral in another state. Yet now with deep grief and having to carry on, Kye must make up for lost time at school and catch up with school course work. Kye has an Amazon college registry, here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/registries/gl/guest-view/OK7NM6STUQW9 Bless Kye's Cash App: https://cash.app/$KGaymon6

If you are a follower of my social sites or read my posts from time to time, in the future I want to provide the Cash Appfor my Nephews and Nieces, most who are Willie's children, and mention what they are up to, they are talented gifted people, for example one of them knows how to build a computer from scratch. If you are so inclined, bless their Cash App. You will (in the future) find a collection of such posts on my Pinterest board called Stars. https://www.pinterest.com/LucidCreates/stars

Thank you for reading my post, for helping my loved ones, for helping to give Willie a respectful and dignified send off, for your thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes.

I am grateful and appreciate you.

I mentioned Kyrelle's name because his name was on the GoFundMe, and mentioned Kyara's and Kye's because they gave me permission to post their Cash App. In the future I will mention in other posts the names of other Nephews (I have mostly Nephews) and Nieces, once I get their permission to post.

Please note my post leans mostly towards my perspective according to being there for my sister, the children and Willie's family I knew of, I wanted to be there for them and pay my respects to Willie. I mentioned mostly my nieces and nephews because that is my main connection with Willie, and of course my sister, however my nephews and nieces, and my young cousin, Willie was their Father and Father figure.

Willie leaves behind sisters, children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, cousins, friends, loved ones such as his ex-wife (my sister), and his eldest children's mother (mentioned here for respect, the woman he met years before he met my sister) who will keep his memory alive. I did not post that part of the program (list of family names) to keep most family private, some who are underage. With Respect.

Willie is watching over his children, he is at peace.

No matter what, the love remains, and the love is most important.

Willie's going home service and celebration was such a good honor, well done, a good send off.

A celebration of a well loved person.

Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors.

Please note, this is a temporary post that will be kept up for a month to two months or maybe a few months.

Snippets of the program for Willie's Going Home Service:

Order of Service

Officiant: Pastor (who was also a good friend of Willie's)

Processional: Clergy and Family

Hymn of Comfort: Precious Lord Take My Hand

Prayer of Comfort: 1 Corinthians 13: 1 - 7

Tributes: Siblings Nieces / Nephews Children

Cherished Memories: Open to All

Obituary

Musical Selection: "Going Home" Sam Cooke

Willie's Favorite Poem: "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou

Recessional

Previous posts I made regarding Willie's passing and to support the GoFundMe for his funeral costs (I posted on several social sites, but only including the Tumblr posts below because most of my posts regarding Willie's passing link back to the Tumblr posts):

Support Retired Teacher Willie’s Memorial & Funeral Costs. https://lucids.tumblr.com/post/759220619064786944/donate-to-support-willies-memorial-and-funeral

My Nephews and Nieces recently lost their Father. https://lucids.tumblr.com/post/759114035365085184/my-nephews-and-nieces-recently-lost-their

Support Willie’s Memorial and Funeral Costs: Retired Teacher, Artist, Loving Father and Grandfather. https://lucids.tumblr.com/post/759026321172168704/support-willies-memorial-and-funeral-costs

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