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soaps-mohawk · 4 months ago

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I love this gif so much 😂

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 30: Butterfly's Wings

Summary: Now that the truth has come out, everyone has a decision to make

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 11,377 words

Warnings: ANGST, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, language, anxiety, reader has several panic attacks, violation of privacy, vomiting, anger, Simon yells at the reader, Simon does manhandle the reader a bit but it's not in a violent way, lots and lots of crying, sort of interrogation, conspiracy theories, not a lot of comfort in this one

A/N: And so the angst continues. The awaited reveal of what happens next has come. A lot of emotions here, a lot of thinking. I am not sorry for what is going to happen in these next few chapters

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You swallow thickly, squeezing your fingers together as they begin to shake. He knows, he heard it perfectly. He’s giving you a chance to come clean, to admit that you’ve lied to them for months. There’s no going back. You’re panicking again, just as you had in the mess a few minutes ago.

For the first time in a long time, you’re afraid.

“I-I...” You try to find the words, trying to put together a coherent sentence under the sharp, scrutinizing gaze of the alpha in front of you.

He leans over even further across the table, holding eye contact with you. His eyes are so sharp you think they may leave knife marks on your skin, burn scorch marks across your body. He’s pulled taut, even his voice sharp. You’re not talking to Simon anymore. You’re facing Ghost now.

“I said, do you want to repeat that?” He repeats it slower, enunciating every word as if you didn’t hear him the first time. You almost didn’t with the blood pulsing in your ears, the panic lifting your heart rate higher and higher. He’s pushing you, daring you to try to lie to his face more than you already have. He’s using his status against you, making you feel cornered.

“I-I found cameras...in my room.” You try not to choke around the nervous lump in your throat. Your voice is quiet, shaking just as much as your body is. Maybe you should let that lump choke you. Death seems less terrifying right now than the angry alpha in front of you. He is angry. You don’t even have to read his body language to know. You can tell just by his eyes and the quickly rising edge of ozone in his scent. “T-The first mission when everyone left...someone broke into my room and put up cameras...I found them and broke them and I hid the bag in my bathroom.”

He stares at you for a long moment, the silence so tense you can nearly taste it. He slams his hands on the table, pushing himself up so he’s standing. You jump, starting to curl in on yourself, an attempt to protect yourself from his wrath. You know he won’t hurt you, but your brain is screaming at you to run, to hide, to make yourself as small as possible.

“Get up.” He snaps, his anger freezing you in place. You can’t move, even though you know you should. “I said get your fucking ass off that bench and let’s go.” He yells, forcing your body into motion.

You nearly fall in your attempt to get off of the bench, your body trembling almost violently in fear. Your breaths are coming in gasps again, the alpha rasping at the edges of his voice melting your brain into a fear-filled mush. His hand wraps around your arm, fingers digging into your skin. If you hadn’t been wearing a sweatshirt, you know you would see the indents from his fingers. You’re going to bruise later.

Your shoulder pops as he tugs you harshly towards the barracks, your feet scrambling to keep up. Passersby stare at you, sensing your fear and his anger, but they wouldn’t dare intervene. It’s not their place, and you can’t blame them for not waiting to face down the giant, angry alpha hauling you to the barracks.

You’ve fucked up. You’ve royally fucked up. You should have just told them when they got back, admitted to everything then. You should have been honest, should have revealed everything instead of trying to keep it all hidden.

The fear you felt back then is nothing compared to the fear you feel now.

You’ve betrayed them, betrayed their trust. Admitting to your stupidity would have been nothing compared to the shame burning hot through you now.

Simon throws open the door, dragging you into the barracks. You know where he’s heading, your feet finally under you on the tile. He lets you go and you scurry to your room, too afraid to even try running for help. None of them will protect you, not after he tells them why you’re so afraid.

Your hand fumbles with the doorknob, the nervous sweat on your skin making it slide right off the metal. He’s behind you, lingering as you use your sleeve to finally turn the knob and get the door open. There’s no hesitation as you enter the room, going straight for the bathroom. Fear trickles down your spine as you kneel down, hands shaking as you pull everything out from the cabinet. The bag is still there, still tucked in the far corner. It’s like it’s mocking you now, jeering at your fear. The bag that holds your deepest secret, the bag that you had almost forgotten about until now.

You ignore the mess as you pull the bag out, turning your body to face the alpha in your room. Simon is standing there just outside the doorway, anger still rolling off of him. You’re shaking so badly the bag of broken plastic and metal pieces clinks as you hold it up to him. He takes it from your hand, holding it up to the harsh bathroom light. It’s impossible not to tell what’s in it, especially not to someone who probably encounters these items often.

“Get up.” He snaps again, and you use the sink to aid you in rising on your shaky legs. They feel like jello, nearly giving out as you stand there in front of him.

He reaches for you and you expect him to grab your arm or even your throat but instead he reaches around, gripping you by the back of the shirt. He pulls you after him, half dragging you to your door and out into the hallway. Your shoes squeak on the floor, slipping as you attempt to get your weak legs to keep up with his steps. He doesn’t care, and you know he’d drag you if you stopped trying to walk.

You’re thrown back violently to that time years ago when you had been in a similar position, being dragged from the safety of your room, your father’s fingers digging into your skin as he dragged you down the hall. He was ashamed of you, angry at you for what you were. The shame you felt for months from disappointing him, the ozone-laced scent of alpha anger still burning in your nose even years later.

The same kind of shame burns in you now.

Simon’s anger is like a thunderstorm, the familiar scent of ozone pricking dangerously in the back of your mind. You want to sink in there, retreat into the safety in the back of your mind but you can’t. It’s like your omega knows you have to face the consequences, abandoning you in revenge for keeping this secret for so long.

The squeaking of your shoes has brought Kyle out of the rec room, his brows furrowing as he sees you being dragged along by Simon.

“What’s going on?” He asks, looking between your teary face and Simon’s angry one.

“Find MacTavish and meet me in Price’s office.” Simon snaps. It’s the only explanation he gives before he’s turning the corner, making his way towards the half opened door.

He shoves it open with his shoulder, not even bothering to knock. The door hits the chair pushed into the table in the corner with a bang. John looks up in surprise, his brow furrowing as Simon drags you to his desk, your legs finally giving out as he releases you.

You kneel there on the floor, tears streaming down your cheeks in shame now more than fear. They’re going to get rid of you, they’re going to drag you from what has become your home and send you back to the CIA, or worse, the institute. All the progress you’ve made is gone, it’s been undone by your choice to lie, to hide this from them. You’re crying from fear, but also from anger at yourself. Why didn’t you just tell them? Why did you think they’d ever be upset for you revealing something so serious, something that could be dangerous? There could be cameras all over the barracks and they wouldn’t know, all because of your anxiety, your fear, your stupidity.

“Someone bugged her room,” Simon says, tossing the bag of broken pieces on John’s desk. “And she’s been keeping it from us for months.”

You want to melt. You want to sink into the couch and dissolve into nothing. Your metaphorical tail has never been tucked quite so far between your legs as you sit there, cowering on the couch in John’s office. The alpha is pacing back and forth in the small space, the scent electric with ozone and the bitter stench of your fear. Even the attempts to overpower the scent by the betas sitting on either side of you have failed. They’re too upset. You know it.

“I want you to run that all by me again.” John says, pausing in his pacing to stand over you. Simon is leaning against the door, arms crossed and still reeling with anger.

You had felt like you were in an interrogation when they asked you about your nightmares. That feeling is nothing compared to what you’re feeling now. That had been simple probling, the concern of your pack as they guided you into telling them the truth. This is an interrogation, a first-hand glance at their abilities, their skills, who they are in the field and not the pack that you recognize.

You’ve fucked up. You’ve royally fucked up.

“I-It was the day before you got back.” You say, looking down at your hands. You can’t handle facing any of them right now, seeing the anger and disappointment on their faces. “A beta, a woman, knocked on my door. She was an American, a-a soldier. She told me General Shepherd was waiting for me. I-I didn’t know what to do and I panicked because I knew I couldn’t just say no, so I went with her. General Shepherd asked me some questions about the pack and how we were settling in and he looked at my mark and then sent me back to the barracks. When I got back I noticed my door was open and I know I closed it when I left. I always close it.”

You swallow thickly, trying to calm your rapidly beating heart. The last thing you need to do right now is distress. You’re not sure John would help you, any of them would help you. They’d just stare down at your pathetic form as you give into your fear, their anger wiping out the instinct to help, to care for their omega. You’ll die while they all look down at you in disgust.

“I noticed something sticking out of the vent slightly, so I climbed up and it was a camera.” You continue, your voice shaking. “Someone went in and put cameras and recording devices all over the room. I-I looked everywhere for them and then smashed the ones I found and hid them in the cabinet in the bathroom.”

John lets out a sigh before he starts pacing back and forth again. The silence is almost worse than if he had been yelling at you. “Why did you keep this from us?” He snaps, turning on you again.

You flinch at his anger, sinking deeper into the couch between the two betas. “I-I thought you might have known.” You say quietly, trying to curl in on yourself. “I-I thought there was no way your superior could have been on base without you knowing, and then I...I panicked about the cameras and I was scared if I told you, something might happen and if you started asking questions you might get hurt or s-something might happen to me, and I was ashamed that I did something so stupid, leaving like that with a stranger and I couldn’t handle it if you were disappointed in me or angry and I just wanted to bury it and forget.” The tears are falling freely now, every breath a sob. “I-I was scared you might send me back or, or do something worse because I was stupid, but I shouldn’t have kept it from you I’m sorry.”

You’re crying earnestly now, your breaths catching on every inhale. You curl in on yourself, drawing your knees up as you cross your arms, trying to put pressure against your chest. You wish you had your bear, you wish you had something to squeeze, something to try and regulate your mind before you distress. Something to hide behind.

John curses quietly, running a hand down his face. He drops to a knee in front of you, reaching out for you. You flinch out of reflex as his hand closes around the back of your neck. “Look at me.” He says, his voice rough. You’re not speaking to John anymore, you’re facing Captain Price.

You meet his gaze, looking into eyes that once might have been comforting to you, but the hardness in them, the accusatory glint to them has you curling up tighter. There will be no pity, no mercy. The back of your neck tingles, his hand almost burning where it presses against the skin there. All he has to do is move his fingers just slightly, dig them into your skin and force the truth out of you. It wouldn’t do any good. You are telling them the truth.

They just need to believe that.

“Do you know who could have done this?” He asks, his voice softer than it had been just moments ago. “Footprints, a scent, anything?”

You shake your head, trying to calm your sobs. “T-There was n-nothing. N-No scent.”

He sighs, releasing you to stand. He turns his back to you, resting his hands on his desk. His shoulders are taut, muscles straining as he tries to hold back his anger. You almost wish he wasn’t, you almost wish he’d take it out on you, give you the punishment you feel you deserve. Shame still burns hot in you, more than it had when you made the decision to lie to them. They’ll never trust you again.

“Whoever it was had access to high grade monitoring equipment.” Simon says, holding the bag of broken pieces. He steps away from the door, tossing it back on John’s desk.

“You think it was someone here?” Kyle asks.

Or someone who came with General Shepherd.

They’re all thinking it. They just don’t want to say it out loud.

The thought sends a shiver down your spine. The general had seemed very interested in the status of your pack, the bonds that were forming. The way he stared at your mark like it was a trophy, the way he stared at you like you were a trophy. You’re used to being looked at like an object. You’ve been looked at that way since you presented. Yet the way General Shepherd had looked at you...it makes your stomach churn. He wouldn’t have had the cameras put up, would he? What would he gain from it?

If he was so interested in your pack, then why hasn’t he come back? It’s been months since his visit, months since you removed the cameras, and yet you haven’t heard or seen any sign of him. Maybe he was only interested in making sure you had been claimed, that John had done his duty and not faked it or lied about it. Maybe John has been keeping him satisfied with his reports since then, giving them the details they want now that it’s been proven all of you have done your jobs.

The thought of what the details John has been putting in could be makes your stomach churn.

You need something to hold. You need something to push against your chest, keep the pressure there so you don’t fall into distress in the middle of John’s office.

“You’re sure you got all of them.” John says, turning back to you.

The yes dies on your tongue as you take a moment to think about it. The lingering feeling of being watched, the tickling feeling in the back of your mind in the last few days. The soulless black eyes staring back at you. The bumpy seam.

The bear.

There’s no other thoughts in your mind as you jump up off the couch, throwing the door open as you race down the hallway. They’re on your heels, your speed the only thing keeping them from catching you. Your shoes squeak as you race down the hallway, shouldering your door open. You go directly to your bed, grabbing the bear.

The way it’s been sitting there for weeks, almost mocking you. ‘You should have known. You should have guessed. I’ve been watching you this whole time.’ It’s saying to you.

You sink your fingers into the small hole, ripping the crudely stitched seam up the back. You sink your hand into the stuffing, reaching up towards the head, feeling, feeling until your fingers hit a wire. Nausea churns your stomach, the shaking in your body stilling as you wrap your fingers around it, tears blurring your eyes.

You yank on the wire, pulling the bear’s left eye out with it. The bear falls from your hand as you begin to hyperventilate, staring at the camera in disbelief. You turn to the others, the camera beginning to shake in your hand as your body comes back to reality, tremors of fear and disgust wracking your form.

John gently pulls the camera from your tingling fingers, turning to face the others. “Kyle, get her out of here.”

You flinch as the beta wraps his arm around you, guiding you out of your room, what’s supposed to be your safe space. It’s been violated again, or was it never safe in the first place?

Your stomach churns, more tears falling again, this time for a different reason. All the times you’ve slept, all the times you’ve fucked one of them in your room, all the times you’ve changed. Your heat.

You free yourself from Kyle’s hold, racing down the hallway towards the bathroom. You push open the door, slipping on the tile clumsily. Your knees knock into the floor painfully as you barely make it, vomiting into the toilet. Kyle is right behind you, kneeling down in the stall with you. He rubs your back, holding your hair out of the way.

You vomit until there’s nothing left to come up, dry heaving as you sob. Your stomach hurts, fear and disgust still causing your stomach to churn violently. Kyle pulls you up before flushing the toilet, leading you over to the sinks. He bends you down over one, using a paper towel to clean your face.

“Easy.” He tries to soothe you, wetting another paper towel in the cold before pressing it against the back of your neck.

Your hands are going numb as you cry, unable to take a deep enough breath to oxygenate your blood. You’re going to pass out. Your vision is tunneling. Maybe if Kyle is merciful enough, he’ll let your head hit the sink on the way down.

Maybe you’ll wake up and not remember anything.

“Search them all.” John says as soon as you’re out of the room.

Rage burns hot in him still, his hands almost shaking as he grabs another stuffed animal off your bed. Your betrayal hurts. The fact you hadn’t felt comfortable enough to tell them the truth, the fact you’ve kept this a secret for so long stings something deep in his chest. Were you ever going to tell them? Or would you have kept this a secret for the rest of your life had the truth not slipped out on its own?

He slices down the seam of another bear with his knife, sinking his hand into the fluff. He feels around, touching every inch of fluff and fabric, but there’s nothing. Stuffing falls on the floor, decorating it like fake snow as they tear open each stuffed animal and pillow.

“Got another.” Johnny says, pulling a recording device from another bear.

Fuck.

Simon grabs your giant bear, cutting it open far too happily. He’s none too gentle as he sinks his hand in, tugging out clump after clump of stuffing. “Nothing.” He says, tossing the bear on the floor almost angrily.

John stares down at the camera and recording device in his hand before motioning for them to follow silently. He heads back to his office, grabbing the bag of crushed cameras before adding them to it. He shoves the bag into a drawer in his desk before stepping back out into the hallway.

“Search every inch of this building.” He says quietly to Johnny and Simon. “For all we know they’re everywhere. I’m going to go have a chat with someone.”

His hands are still shaking, anger radiating off him in waves. He’d had enough sense to spray himself with scent blocker before he stepped out into the warm air. It’s nearly suffocating, sweat beading on his back as he heads straight for the medical center. His mind is reeling. Your betrayal, the cameras, the ones in your stuffed animals. Where else could there be bugs planted? Someone invaded their space, invaded your space, with the intention of spying on them.

And you tried to hide it from them.

He’s still reeling as he makes his way down the hallway towards the familiar door. His knock is firm, his breaths deep and slow as he tries to calm himself. Anger won’t get him anywhere in this situation. He needs a clear head, he needs to think logically. He squeezes the knob at the call to enter, taking another breath before he steps inside.

The soothing scent of beta goes straight to his head, calming the rage a bit as he approaches Dr. Keller’s desk. It always smells good in here, the scent soft and warm and relaxing. His anger far outweighs the light scent, though. If it had been more concentrated, directed at him, it may have been able to steady his swirling emotions.

By the look on Dr. Keller’s face, she can sense the emotions radiating off of him, even without being able to smell them. He doesn’t want to use his alpha, intimidate the truth out of her, but he will if he has to. This is a direct threat to you, to your safety, to them and their safety. He needs the truth, and he won’t tolerate anything but.

“Captain Price? Is everything alright?” She asks, closing the file on her desk as he stands just inside the doorway.

“Walk with me.” He says, his hand still gripping the door handle.

She doesn’t offer any complaint, doesn’t even ask why as she slips the file on her desk into a drawer before locking it. He’s impressed by her willingness, though he’d expected her to follow without question. If he’s approaching her alone, it’s not without reason, and it usually relates to you in some way.

She stands from her desk, slipping her keys around her wrist before approaching him. He can smell the nervous taint beginning to form on the edge of her scent. He steps out of the doorway back into the hall, taking another breath. He can’t get too accusing until he’s more confident in his conspiracy, until he’s certain. She locks the door before turning to face him. He stares down at her for a second before he heads for the door. She follows him silently, keeping up with his pace. He’s eager to get outside, away from any prying eyes, anyone that might overhear.

Away from cameras.

He waits until they’re outside, leading her away from the more populated areas of the base. Normally he wouldn’t mind having this conversation in her office, but with this new development, he can’t be too careful. For all he knows there’s cameras there too. Dr. Keller doesn’t spend all her time in her office. It would be easy for someone to enter in the late hours of the night, when only A&E staff are milling about, and plant cameras in the room. If whoever planted them in your room was so dedicated to watching you as much as possible, he wouldn’t put it past them to watch you during your sessions too.

He feels a bit strange being so conspiratorial, a bit paranoid, but he can’t help it. He can’t be sure of anything anymore.

“Were you aware that a certain omega left the barracks with a stranger months ago when we left on our assignment?” He can’t quite bring himself to use your name, the thought of it making anger flare in him again.

Dr. Keller’s brows furrow as she glances up at him, slowing her pace. “No, I had no idea.” She shakes her head.

“A certain general also came to visit. Wanted to ‘check on the status of our pack’s progress.’ She went to see him alone.” He glances down at her. “Do you know anything about that?”

“Of course not.” She says, stopping in her tracks. “Even if I did, you would have been the first to know, whether or not I thought you knew about it. I know what these people are like. If I knew he was here, I would assume he sought her out too. I wouldn’t put it past him to invade the barracks because he felt like he had a right to as both your commanding officer and one of the heads of the initiative.”

He stares down at her for a long moment, holding her gaze. She’s smart, more aware than he’d given her credit for. Though, he supposes, one can never be too careful in her position. The Keller siblings are alike, he muses.

She doesn’t look away from him, even in his angry state. She doesn’t waver, doesn’t shy away. She’s not lying, he decides. He knows what liars look like, and she’s far too comfortable staring at him for someone that might be guilty. She’s not intimidated by him, not even a bit uneasy now that she has an understanding of the reason for his anger.

“Some soldier, an American she said, entered the barracks and took her to meet General Shepherd.” He says, still holding her gaze. “While she was gone, someone bugged her room with cameras and recording devices.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “What?” She breathes the word in shock. So this was news to her too.

“She found them and hid them from us. For months she knew and she didn’t say anything.” He’s trying not to sound accusing, but he can’t help it. He needs to hear her say it. The anger is still simmering under the surface. Anger at you, anger at whoever put those cameras up.

Dr. Keller shakes her head, still fearlessly facing down his simmering anger. “She didn’t say anything to me either. I may be a firm believer in doctor-patient confidentiality, but there are some things that necessitate the breaking of those laws. Those include things that put patients, or others, in danger. I would have told you if I knew.”

John stares at her for a moment. There’s no lie, no deception in her face or her tone. “I know.” He finally says, relaxing a bit in his anger. He can never be too careful, but he doubts now that Dr. Keller had any hand in this, much less knew about it before they did.

“You think there’s something deeper going on behind the scenes, Captain?” She asks, almost reading his mind.

“John.” He says. It’s been long enough that she can call him by name. “I know there is.” He says, letting out a sigh. “I’ve had my suspicions for a while. Pulling all four of us for a mission that would have only needed two so soon after her heat? General Shepherd just happening to show up unannounced at the same time? The incessant emails requiring an in depth report on the status of our pack...”

“How long have those emails been coming in?” She asks cautiously.

“Two weeks.” He says, a frown forming on his own face. “You’ve been getting them too?”

She nods. “Two weeks of formal requests for all of my records and notes relating to my patient. Something is going on, John. Yesterday, a formal request from General Shepherd for access to all documents, records, and notes regarding my patient was delivered by an American soldier.” She shakes her head. “They gave me 48 hours to deliver before I get removed from the initiative.”

John stares at her, his frown deepening. He’d been handed a similar document yesterday as well. A formal request for the in depth report before disciplinary action would be taken. He’s been loath to think what that action might be. He’d tear them all limb from limb if they ever tried to go after you. He doubts they would sink that far, not if they’re so dedicated to the success of whatever experiment they’re unwilling guinea pigs in. They’re far too interested in you and your integration into the pack to take that risk. They just want more...detailed information, and not just from him.

Detailed enough they may have put cameras up in your room.

He lets out a sigh, dragging a hand down his face. “Send them.”

She blinks at him. “What?”

“Send the files.” He steps closer, lowering his voice. “She can’t lose you. She needs someone she trusts. I need someone I trust in on this.”

“You think she’s hiding something else?” She asks.

“She hid this from us.” He says. “I don’t want to say I don’t trust her, but if she lied about this so easily...”

Dr. Keller makes a face. John knows she’s the last person that wants to do this, but they may not have much of a choice. Your safety is on the line. They need to know, and John knows you trust her. Not enough to reveal the cameras, but perhaps Dr. Keller can coax other things out of you that may have happened. John knows you’re telling them the truth about what happened when they were gone. With your reactions, he has no doubt about that. He just can’t be too careful now that he knows how easily you lied, how easily you hid things from them. He needs to know. He needs to be sure.

He hates how you reacted to his anger, how close you were to distressing there in his office. As angry as he was, he would have helped you. He wouldn’t have let you succumb to that. You were afraid, you are afraid. It almost hurts him more that you were scared enough to try and hide out of shame.

“It’s for her own safety.” John says.

She lets out a sigh, nodding. “I’ll see what I can get out of her. I don’t doubt she’ll want to talk about this.”

“Let her tell you.” John says. “If you reveal you know, she may hide out of shame again.”

Dr. Keller nods. “That was my thought exactly.”

“Keep me posted.” John says. “I’ve got some digging to do. You should check your office, make sure no one hid cameras in there as well.”

“I will.” She nods. “John?” She calls as he begins to walk away. He turns back to look at her. “Be careful.”

He nods once before turning back around. He feels slightly better now, after talking to Dr. Keller. She hadn’t known either, just as in the dark about everything as they were. They’re in the same boat, having gotten the same threats from General Shepherd for information. He wants to write it off as being necessary for the initiative, to garner more information about how to best proceed with integration once it's greenlit. He doesn't want to think too much into the conspiracies forming, the existing ones being fed by this new development. He’s no stranger to questioning direct orders, going against them, but this time he may not have a choice.

He lets out a sigh, running his hand over his face again. He has a report to write.

You can’t move. Sweat is beading on your forehead but you’re still shaking and shivering. You’re immobilized, wrapped in a blanket burrito laid out on the couch. The tears have stopped, your face tight and swollen as they dry on your skin. Your gaze is far away, not focused on anything even as Simon and Johnny tear apart the rec room, checking every inch for any hidden cameras and recording devices.

They’ve been going through the whole barracks, room by room, turning them upside down looking for any that might have been put up. You don’t know if they’ve found any, and you’re incapable of caring right now. You’re not sure which is worse, that there might be others that have gone unnoticed because you didn’t say anything, or if the cameras were exclusively placed in your room.

Kyle is seated at your feet. He’s angry. It’s not hard to tell. He hasn’t touched you since he rolled you up in the blanket, electing to sit as far from you as he can. He’s been staring into the distance just as you have, his knee bouncing. You’ve betrayed him, just as you’ve betrayed everyone. The thought makes you sick, your stomach rolling again. You cough, trying to hold down the bile. There’s nothing left in your stomach. Your mouth is dry, lips cracked. He hasn’t offered you any water, and even if you weren’t restrained, you’re not sure you could find it in you to move and get some.

The mood shifts as John appears in the doorway, your eyes moving automatically to look at him. The angry cloud that had permeated his scent is gone, though you can tell from his face the emotions haven’t left. Not completely.

“Found anything?” He asks, addressing Johnny and Simon who are both placing the books on the shelves again.

“Nothing.” Simon says. “Not even a recording device.”

“You checked the vents?” John asks.

“Vents, electronics, lights.” Johnny says. “Nothing.”

A broken whimper leaves your throat. So it was just your room that was bugged. The thought is worse than the idea there were others in the barracks that have gone unnoticed. Whoever had placed them had done it purposefully to watch you. It makes your stomach churn again and you shift on the couch, leaning over more in case you puke again. They’ll make you clean it, but you don’t care, not right now.

Boots appear in your vision before John takes a seat on the coffee table in front of you. He lets out a quiet sigh before reaching forward, his fingers brushing your cheek. You flinch, ready for something worse, but his touch is light. He brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead, the tenderness a shocking change from the anger he had been burning with earlier.

“What you did was dangerous.” He says, making you flinch slightly at his words. “Leaving the barracks with a stranger was stupid, but nothing compared to hiding the cameras from us. Part of our job is to keep you safe, but we can’t do that when you lie to us.” He pulls his hand back, resting his arms on his knees. “Your safety is paramount. Your anonymity is vital and if someone put those cameras up with the intent of revealing your existence and ties to us, that could get you killed.”

You flinch at his words again, wanting to cry but you have no tears left. He’s right. You were stupid for hiding the cameras. You don’t know who put them up or why. It could wind up getting you hurt in the future. You’re vulnerable when they leave, even if one of them stays with you. A sneak attack could leave you unguarded. Your only chance would be to run, but where would you go? You couldn’t put Dr. Keller at risk like that. Could you trust the other soldiers would defend you and not take advantage of the situation?

What if they’re involved? What if they put them up for their own sick entertainment?

You make a horrible choking noise as bile rises in your throat, burning your already raw esophagus. You’re going to puke again, all over John’s boots.

John shifts so he’s kneeling on the floor, cupping your face and turning it to look at him. His palms are warm on your clammy skin, your inability to read him through his scent making you uneasy. The sting of scent blocker burns your nose, and you can’t tell if he put it on purposefully. Was his anger too much, was the risk of sending you into distress so high that he had to hide that anger before it overwhelmed you?

“Look at me.” He says softly, softer than when he said it earlier in his office. His eyes are softer, almost back to the stare you recognize. “What happens next is important.” He’s not just speaking to you, he’s speaking to everyone. “There’s things going on that I can’t be certain of yet. Finding the last of those cameras may set some things in motion. We have to be on guard and aware. Anything suspicious goes on, we need to know about it and take care of it. Even if it’s just a feeling.” His thumbs brush your cheeks, calluses scraping against your tingling skin. “Your safety is our prime concern. Whoever did this wanted eyes on you. We need to know why.” He lowers his head slightly, looking you in the eyes. “If there’s anything else, we need to know. Anything. We need the truth. All of it.”

They think you might be a spy.

They don’t say it directly, but you know that’s at least part of what they’re asking. Nothing is off the table anymore. Any conspiracy they may have shrugged off before has a chance of being real. Every little thought, every little tickle in the back of their brain now has the possibility of being real until the truth gets unveiled. You’re just as in the dark as they are. In fact, you probably know less than they do.

A prickling begins at the base of your spine, slowly crawling its way up your back to your brain. Your blood runs cold, goosebumps forming on your skin as your breath hitches. You’re not sure how you didn’t put things together sooner. Maybe it was the fear in the moment blocking out all rational thought, making you blind to things that should have been glaringly obvious in the moment.

You should have said something sooner.

“There is one thing.” You say, staring at John with wide eyes. Your heart is beating rapidly in your chest, so hard you’re scared it might thump right through your chest cavity. Your voice shakes, your fingers going numb where they’re trapped against your sides. You’re starting to feel claustrophobic, the blanket around you becoming constricting, like it’s keeping you from possibly running, possibly escaping from the realization that’s slammed into you like a train.

John’s brows furrow just slightly, a movement that would have gone unnoticed had you not been locked onto his face. You can see the subtle shift, the change from John into Captain Price again. He’s thinking the worst, expecting what they had all been silently thinking.

“Something Kate said before we boarded the helicopter in London.” You continue, taking their silence as an invitation to drop the bomb you’re about to blow this whole thing up with.

“What did she say?” John asks, shifting slightly where he’s kneeling.

You take in a shaky breath, your hands curling into fists. Their eyes are all on you, waiting with bated breath. The anticipation is palpable, all of them, even you, on edge, waiting for what you’re about to drop on them, what you’re about to admit to. They’re questioning all of their partnerships, their relationships. They’re questioning Kate, they’re questioning you. Can either of you really be trusted? Can anyone be trusted?

“She told me to do what I need to do, because they’ll be watching me.” You say.

The silence hangs heavy in the air. It’s thick and heavy as your words sink in, as they all come to the realization you just had. The double meaning of those words should have been obvious. They should have been at the front of your mind as soon as you found the cameras, yet you had forgotten entirely about your short conversation, the silent warning. Did Kate know they would be literally watching, planting cameras and spying on you? Or had she simply been referring to how they would be waiting to see how things progressed, eagerly waiting for the many reports John has had to send over the last few months since your arrival on base.

John pulls his hands from your face, resting his arm on his knee for a moment. He’s thinking just as hard as you are, the pieces beginning to fall into place. He’s questioning the same things you are. Was Kate more involved in this than she let on? Or was she as unaware as you all were? Are you all pawns, or does Kate have a hand on the chess board as well? Did she pick you because she knew enough about the initiative to choose you above all the others?

Was this why she chose you? Did she think you were smart enough to figure the truth out on your own?

You’ve never cursed your fear and anxiety more than you are right now.

“I have some things I need to do.” John says, letting out a sigh. “I want you to stay here. You don’t leave these barracks unless they are on fire, understood?”

You nod. “Understood.”

“Good.” He says, pushing himself up to stand. He looks between Kyle, Johnny, and Simon. “One of you stays, the other two follow me.”

“I’ll stay.” Johnny says, glancing down at you before looking back at John.

John pats his shoulder before leaving the rec room, Simon and Kyle following. He watches them go before letting out a sigh, his shoulders slumping a bit. You can’t look at him, face his disappointment anymore, the hurt in his eyes. You wiggle on the couch, trying to get a limb free so you can unwrap the burrito you’ve been encased in. It’s too constricting, too hot.

You begin to roll, gravity betraying you as the end of the couch begins to sink from your body. You wince in preparation for hitting the floor on your face, praying the blanket is thick enough to keep you from slamming your head back onto the tile. You wince even as hands push you back the other way, rolling you towards the back of the couch again. Those hands untuck the edge of the blanket, slowly unrolling you from your fuzzy prison.

Your face still feels tight from your tears, your mouth dry from the copious amounts of salty liquid that you’ve lost over the last two hours. You push yourself up to sit, maneuvering the blanket out from under you.

“Will you get me some water?” You ask quietly, half expecting him to say no, to get it yourself.

He does move to the fridge though, grabbing a bottle before moving back to the couch. Johnny sinks down on the cushion, sitting as far as he can from you as he passes you the bottle. You unscrew the cap, chugging the water as fast as you can. The cool liquid hurts your throat but you can’t stop, and Johnny makes no move to stop you.

He’s not looking at you, his elbow resting on the arm of the couch, his chin resting on his fist as he stares at the far corner of the room. You don’t know what to say as you finish the bottle, the plastic crinkling in the silence as you screw the cap back on. You’re not sure you should say anything.

You know Johnny can be a ticking time bomb. You haven’t seen him angry very many times, but he burns hot with it in those rare moments when you have seen it. It’s never been directed at you before, and you’d like to assume it never will be, even now. You can’t sense any anger, even with your stuffy nose. The scent slipping through isn’t laced with the sharp, almost burning scent of beta anger.

He’s not angry, you think. He’s disappointed.

It almost hurts worse.

You lean over slowly, keeping your eyes on him as you set the empty bottle on the coffee table before curling up against the other arm of the couch. You feel like crying again, but you have no tears left. Your stomach is still churning, the events of the last two hours still feeling unreal. You’d spilled the secret you’ve been keeping for months to Simon, who of course told the rest of your pack. You were interrogated, placed in the path of their anger and disappointment in you. Then your worst fears were confirmed and there were cameras you missed, ones that could have been spying on you for months, violating your privacy after you thought you were safe.

You never were safe, keeping this secret. This goes deeper than you think it does.

Now that you know what you know, it’s not impossible to see that. You’ve been delaying this for months by not confessing to them right away. Is it worse, or perhaps it’s better that you delayed this probing into the depths of this initiative, into who could possibly be behind the violation, the invasion of the pack’s sacred spaces. The last thing you want is your pack to get hurt, for it to be your fault.

Will it be your fault because you held off for so long?

You won’t be able to live with yourself if something happens to them.

“Why did ye do it?” Johnny’s voice pulls you out of your spiraling thoughts. “Why did ye keep this from us?”

You swallow thickly, your mouth feeling dry again despite the water you had just chugged. “I was afraid.” You say, the same thing you told John. “I let my irrational fears take over.”

“We wouldnae been mad at ye.” Johnny says, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “Still aren’t.” His voice softens. “Was right glaikit of ye, but John is right. We want tae keep ye safe. Cannae do tha’ if yer keeping secrets.”

“I know it was stupid.” You say. “I wish I hadn’t hidden it.” The water you chugged is threatening to come back up as your stomach churns. “If anything happened to any of you because of it...”

Johnny scoffs, finally turning to look at you. “We’ll be fine. It’s ye we have tae worry about. Someone’s keeking at ye. We need tae find out who it is and put a stop to it.” His hand curls into a fist where it rests against his thigh. “I’d like tae know who so I can...” He trails off, punching his hand against his leg.

“Beat them up?” You offer.

“Nae, they don’t deserve to live after this.” He says, his voice lower than it had been before.

A chill runs down your spine at the obvious shift in him. You’ve never really seen this side of them, the side that comes out in the field when they shift into soldiers on a mission. No hesitation, no remorse. Killers.

You know that, deep down. You’ve been living with that reality since you first learned where you were being assigned. It’s easy to look the other way, to ignore the things they’ve done, the things they will continue to do, because it’s never involved you. You were innocent to it all, kept in the dark, staying home while they go off and do whatever atrocities are necessary in order to maintain world peace, or whatever it is they tell themselves to rationalize it.

Now it does involve you.

How far will they go to hunt down who put up those cameras? What happens if they do figure out who it was, if they uncover the reason why they were put up in the first place? Blood is going to be shed over this, you knew that as soon as you pulled the bag of cameras from under your sink and handed them off to Simon. Maybe you knew that deep down as soon as you found them. Maybe that’s why you had held off for so long, determined to keep this a secret as long as you possibly could.

Blood is going to be shed because of you.

You’re not sure you can stomach that thought, even if whoever did this does deserve it.

“I spoke to Kate.” John says, folding his hands on his desk, squeezing his fingers together. “She’s claiming innocence in this. She wasn’t aware of any orders made from the initiative for surveillance of our omega.”

“You trust her?” Simon asks, crossing his arms.

“We may not have much of a choice.” John squeezes his fingers harder, so hard they turn white. “I’ve sent the cameras off to her. See if she can trace where the footage was being routed to.”

“You’re sure that’s a good idea?” Kyle asks, glancing between John and Simon.

“I’ve known Kate for a long time. I like to trust she wouldn’t hide something like this from us. Not to this extent.” John answers.

“She knew something.” Simon says. “Enough to try and give a warning.”

“She could have meant a lot of things.” John sighs. “If she meant it literally...we’ll never really know. If she was blind to this like we were, you bet your arse she’ll dig until she finds the truth behind all of this.”

“The doctor?” Simon asks. John knows he’s never entirely trusted Dr. Keller. Trust doesn’t come easy for him. He’s absolutely shattered over this.

“She wasn’t aware of any of this either. I trust her on that.” John says before Simon can interject. “She’s just as deep in this as we are.” John pulls the manilla folder out of his desk, pulling out the orders. “Both of us got orders directly from General Shepherd. Hers was a command to send copies of all of her notes and records within 48 hours or she’d be removed from the initiative.”

“What is she going to do?” Kyle asks.

“I told her to send them.” John says, holding out his own orders to Simon.

“You think Shepherd is involved in all of this?” Kyle asks.

“Speculation won’t get us anywhere.” John says. But it’s hard not to think so.

“We can’t trust anyone.” Simon passes the orders to Kyle.

“We have to be careful.” John says. “We have no leads on any of this. Until we know more, we leave the probing to Kate.”

“You think she’s telling the whole truth?” Simon asks, staring down at John. He doesn’t need to specify who he’s talking about.

“Yes.” John nods. “She’s scared enough as is, I don’t think she could hide anything else, even if she wanted to. She made a stupid decision, but we’re hardly innocent either. I think it was almost better that she kept it a secret until now. Had we jumped into this sooner, it may have been far more conspicuous, and it could have been written off easily. Whoever is behind it has known that she’s known for months now. They were banking on her keeping it a secret. Now they know that we know, so it’s their turn to make a move.”

“They make the move first, they risk revealing themselves.” Kyle says.

“Exactly. Forcing their hand is too much of a risk for now.” John says, looking between them. “We wait for them to make a move while we continue to dig for answers. If nothing else, it will force their hand.”

“What do we do in the meantime?” Simon asks.

“They’ve targeted our omega. We have to protect her. She doesn’t leave our sight. One of us has to stay with her always. We keep her in the barracks unless we have no other choice. Be vigilant. Anyone looks slightly suspicious, you tell me. Whoever put those cameras in there was bold enough to enter the barracks in the first place. I don’t doubt they’ll try again, even with us here.” John pushes himself up to stand. “Keep an eye on her. I’ll debrief Johnny.”

You feel a bit like a prisoner.

You know they don’t mean to, but with their lingering and their constant watching, it’s like they’re waiting for you to mess up again, waiting for you to do something suspicious. You’re afraid to even move too much. You’d eaten in the barracks again, John staying with you while the others went to get dinner. The food hadn’t been very appetizing, but you knew you had to eat. John was serious about keeping you in the barracks for now, though with what’s happened recently, you can hardly complain.

You’re curled up on one side of the couch, Kyle sitting on the other. Simon is in his usual spot in the chair, only sitting closer to you out of necessity. Kyle is on his phone, the room quiet aside from the evening news playing on the TV. Kyle hasn’t said much to you, still hurting from your distrust and betrayal. Simon hasn’t said anything at all, and you know you’ve lost all the trust you’ve built up with him over the last few weeks. You don’t blame either of them for being upset with you, disappointed in you. Part of you wishes they were still angry. The disappointment hurts worse than being yelled at.

You rest your head on the arm of the couch, your eyes burning after spending a good portion of the day crying so hard you made yourself sick. The exhaustion is beginning to settle in, your eyes fluttering as you fight to stay awake, listening to the news anchor delivering the latest breaking news.

“Breaking news, an Austrian tourist was found dead in his hotel room this morning. Authorities say there’s no leads as of yet as to what caused his death...”

Your eyes close, sleep beginning to fog at the edges of your mind. You’re going to lose the battle against it quickly.

“I killed an Austrian once.” Simon says, the words barely registering in your quickly numbing mind. “Big fucker. Shitty sniper, but the t-shirt over his face probably didn’t help...”

You have no choice but to give in, your body going lax as you’re finally pulled into the depths of sleep.

You jump when a hand gently shakes your arm. Sleep still clouds your mind as you look around, desperately trying to find whatever it was that disturbed you.

“Time for bed.” A quiet voice says as you blink desperately against the bright lights assaulting your eyes.

The attempt to say something comes out as a garbled sound. The news is still playing in the background, meaning you haven’t been asleep for long.

“Come on.” The fingers wrap around your arm gently, easing you up onto your feet.

Your legs barely get under you to hold you up, your eyes squinting as you try to clear them enough to see what’s happening. A quiet groan leaves your lips as you rub your face, awareness starting to creep back in as you force your body to move.

You follow the blurry figure out of the rec room, shuffling along behind it. You want nothing more than to crawl into a bed and sleep for the next sixteen hours. You want the comfort of your nest but you don’t have that anymore.

You pause for a second, your brain snapping into awareness at the thought. You don’t have a nest anymore. It’s gone, the safety and security of it broken once again. The thought makes your skin crawl, your body wanting to sink in on itself. Your nest is gone. It’ll never be the same again.

“Come on.” John says again, guiding you down the hall towards his room. You let him lead you, the back of your neck prickling.

Anger bubbles inside of you. Not sadness, not depression, not grief. Anger. Anger at whoever broke in and planted those cameras. Anger at whoever invaded your private space. Anger at yourself for not telling them sooner. It makes you feel violated and angry.

John ushers you into his room, not missing the frown on your face. A few of your things have been moved into his room, likely because you wouldn’t be spending much time, if any, in your room for a while. It’s like a crime scene now. Ripped apart again just as it had been when you found the cameras the first time. The floor littered with stuffing from your pillows and plushes, furniture rearranged. The scene of a massacre.

The perfect picture of the violation of your privacy and the destruction of your safe space.

John closes the door behind you before ushering you to his bathroom. You get ready for bed, the anger fading to numbness as you change into one of his shirts. You want to shower, but you don’t have the energy for that. With your luck, you’ll fall asleep and need to make a visit to the medical center.

You’re hesitant as you exit the bathroom, tugging at the hem of the shirt. John has changed into his usual sleep pants, electing to wear a shirt this time. It makes you flinch involuntarily. Things really have regressed that far back now. The only reason you’re sleeping in here is because they can’t leave you alone without the risk of something happening to you.

Maybe you should offer to sleep on the floor. That might make things easier on the both of you.

“Here.” John says, holding something out to you.

You stare at it for a long moment, at the pink and green fuzzy fabric. You reach out for it hesitantly, wrapping your arms around the strawberry pillow you had counted as a loss. You counted most of your nest as a loss.

“Johnny is working on sewing them back together.” John explains. “All except the two we found surveillance equipment in. Your big bear was innocent.” He says. “Johnny just needs extra stuffing for that one.”

You hold the strawberry against your chest, trying to comprehend his words. They were fixing your plushes and your pillows? You’re not quite sure what to think. On one hand you’re glad they’re not a total loss, but at the same time, you’re not sure you can trust them again. They have been thoroughly checked, obviously if they were being fixed up again, but the thought of them staring at you, listening to you...

“Johnny’s fixing them?” Is all you can manage to get out.

John’s lips pull up in a smirk. “Thought you’d appreciate it.” He puts a hand on your back, turning you towards the bed. “Come on. You’re exhausted.”

You are. The sleep is probing at your mind again, making your eyes burn. As much as you want to protest, to offer up sleeping on the floor, you let yourself be guided to the bed, climbing onto the mattress. You shove the strawberry into the corner before you settle in, laying facing the wall. John turns off the light, the room going dark. Your nightlight is plugged in on John’s desk, casting a soft glow that pushes away the threatening darkness.

John doesn’t wrap his arm around you, keeping as much space as he can from you. It hurts, tears stinging your eyes as you lay there. You shift your hand up, fingers reaching for the strawberry. You wish you had a bear, something smaller to clutch to your chest, to push away the anguish you’re feeling.

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly, fingers brushing the soft fabric of the strawberry. “I should have known better, I should have-”

“Don’t.” He interrupts you, shifting behind you. “You didn’t trust us because you didn’t know better. You’ve been betrayed and traumatized by the people you trusted in the past for things that were out of your control. You were made to believe that it was your mistake that caused everything that happened in your life since your presentation. You were traumatized by authority figures that were supposed to help you and support you.”

You feel a bit like you’re in a session with Dr. Keller rather than in bed with John. You might have assumed he had spoken to Dr. Keller himself, but you know how knowledgeable and aware and analytical John is. He can read situations quickly, something you know was born from his experience and his training.

“Of course your first instinct would be to hide your mistakes.” He continues. “You’ve been punished for them before.” His fingers brush your arm, making you flinch.

It’s not the only reason you flinch, however. You’ve never told him, never explicitly laid it out, but you’re not surprised he knows. He’s aware of everything, always watching, always assessing, just like Simon. They’re all aware, but the two alphas seem to have almost an extra sense when it comes to the pack and others outside of it. It’s part of the job, but it also seems to extend past that.

Alpha instincts.

“Get some sleep.” John says, finally wrapping his arm around you. “We’ll deal with everything else in the morning.

Nearly a week goes by and you’ve heard nothing else regarding the cameras, or your mistake. Johnny and Kyle have forgiven you, warming back up to you, not quite to where they were before, but more than they had been that day. John is distant, not in emotion but physically. He’s been spending a lot of time in his office, Simon coming and going frequently. It’s about the cameras, you figure, or perhaps they’re digging into who might be behind it. They’re not just going to leave it at that. They wouldn’t tolerate a slight against their omega, much less someone invading the pack’s territory like that.

Simon...he’s still distant, closed off, hardly looking at you unless it’s entirely necessary. He’s reverted back to how he was before, and it’s tearing you up inside. More than the knowledge that you made a mistake, more than the knowledge you broke their trust, more than the knowledge that they’re upset with you. You made it so far with Simon, and now it’s all come unraveled and it’s all your fault.

You want to speak with him, but you don’t know how. You’re almost afraid to, like acknowledging him might set off the bomb ticking inside him.

What if he’s waiting for you to break the silence again?

You’re not brave enough to do it. Not so soon. You’re afraid of pushing too much, of ruining things more than you already have.

Besides Simon, things are slowly moving back to normal. The rift that had begun to form is slowly closing, sealing back up before any more damage is done. You still regret it, still hate yourself for causing it in the first place. It’s your fault this scar will always remain in your bonds, always there, always a reminder of your stupidity and your fear.

Guilt is eating you alive, and you know all of them can tell.

They’re all uncomfortable, still very much intune to you despite everything. It’s hard to break those instincts, even with the scar left on the bond. Even Simon has to be feeling it, despite his regression, despite his attempts not to. It’s not hard to miss that Johnny is trying to goad him to at least go easy on you, to lighten his still swirling emotions towards you.

He doesn’t trust easily, and you’ve betrayed the trust you so carefully built, betrayed that vulnerability he showed towards you.

The knowledge of what you’ve done to him is almost worse than everything else.

“Hey.” Fingers snap in front of your face, making you yelp as you jump back into awareness. You clutch your hand to your chest, trying to stop yourself from diving straight into a panic attack. You’ve been on edge since the reveal, jumpy even around your pack. You know they'd never let anything happen, but with their hovering and constant watching you can’t help but be a bit panicky in response.

Johnny shifts where he’s sitting on the couch, sensing your change in emotion. “Didnae have to give her a heart attack, Si.” He says.

“Price needs you in his office.” Simon says, ignoring Johnny. He moves out into the hall, waiting for you to get up.

You swallow thickly, trying to calm your racing heart before you push yourself up to stand, nerves starting to twist in your stomach. It’s the first time you’ve been in John’s office since your confession and you’re not quite sure what to expect. You feel like if it was something serious, everyone would be gathering there.

Or perhaps they already did and now it’s your turn.

Simon walks you down the hall, their hovering not allowing you to even go to the bathroom without one of them following. You know it’s partially because they have to be vigilant and leaving you alone leaves you vulnerable to anyone that might not be happy with the cameras being discovered. Whoever is behind it knows that the others know now. There’s been no nightly visitors, no wiggling of the doorknob, no sneaking into the barracks like there had been when you were alone. They put their own cameras up, watching and waiting for someone to be stupid enough to try something. They’re ready and waiting, yet you’re all on edge, waiting for it to happen. With so many unknowns, it’s hard to guess when or how it will happen.

While you don’t know any details directly, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

Simon opens the door for you when John calls for you to enter, letting you go through before closing the door behind you. The air feels heavy, the energy in the office low. You shift nervously on your feet, staring at John. He looks tired, exhausted, dark circles under his eyes. It’s been a long week for everyone, and you don’t doubt he’s been feeling it the most.

He stands up from his desk, approaching you slowly. You can sense something, something off, something bothering him. It puts you on edge, your stomach starting to churn nervously. You expect a lecture, or him to yell at you for something, or him to get angry, but that’s not it. He’s frustrated, but not at you.

Has he figured something out? Gotten an answer as to why, or maybe who was behind all of this? Is he about to tell you he has to send you off, hide you away while they deal with this new development? Separate you from the pack for your own safety?

He stops in front of you, his hands closing lightly around your arms. He stares down at you for a long moment as you look up at him with a concerned face. Something stirs in your chest, anticipating bad news. Something’s happened. They have to send you back, the discovery of the cameras has started the decommissioning of the initiative. You’ve fucked everything up somehow, and now you’re about to pay the price one way or another.

John lets out a sigh, squeezing your arms tightly as if he’s trying to keep you from floating away. You’re expecting the worst, your heart thumping in your chest as you swallow thickly.

“Kyle and I are being shipped out on an assignment.” He finally says, dropping a bomb worse than any of the others you had been anticipating. “I don’t know when we’ll be back.”

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accirax · 2 months ago

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Danganronpa: Despair Time Chapter 2 Episode 13 Dissection

Jesus CHRIST, the hits keep on coming (/pos). I don't think anyone could have predicted everything that came to light in this episode. But, hey, at least we're finally cooking on the murder method a bit more...?

SPOILERS for Danganronpa: Despair Time though Chapter 2 Episode 13! Also, CW: discussions of suicide.

Similarly to last time, I tried not to look at too many other people's major reactions/theories as to not influence my opinions as they were when I watched the episode. (Although I think I failed to do that more than last week...) Here's what this episode got me thinking about!

Genocide Jack, Junko, Mukuro, Peko, and Korekiyo:

On that note, though, this is... debatably relevant lore about Hope's Peak as it exists in DRDT? We know from Chapter 2 Episode 2 that Veronika (and likely all of the non-Terukos as well) don't remember Trigger Happy Havoc, and, based on this, it's likely that they don't remember much of the history of the old HPA either. Ace being so adamant that HPA wouldn't scout a murderer implies that the new HPA has fully regained its spotless reputation, potentially even more than the Tokyo school ever had.

I want you all to know that I tried to write out a little theory about whether or not Levi could have killed any plot-relevant characters here, but I came to a dead end at every venture. Levi killed Mai? No, he has no motive, and the murder happened before everyone attended Hope's Peak. Levi killed Elliot? No, Ellie was probably killed by dogs, and the timing is all wrong. Levi killed someone at the North C and Chariton incident? That didn't even happen. I was just getting that confused with my theories about what Xander might have done at that incident in FF's DRDT Milgram AU. Not even what actually happened in the AU. Just my theories on what might happen.

The only option I couldn't fully rule out was the idea that Levi killed some of the ~5 missing members of the altDRDT cast, but, holy shit, can you imagine how funny that would be? Teacher and the gang get to the sixth Class Trial and ask all dramatically, "so, what happened to the rest of our class that didn't make it to the killing game...?" and Monowhatever is just like "actually, Levi Fontana just straight up merced those dudes years ago." Hilarious.

Anyways. That goes to show that I do think these were just random guys, and the only specific relevance they would have is in the realm of Levi's backstory specifically.

RIP to the "Levi used to be an assassin" theory. I actually kinda liked that one myself.

(Also, hijacking this image to point out the background music here. You hear the ticking clock motif? Very suspicious indeed...)

Yup, even more confirmation that HPA highly valued having an incredibly pure and righteous image. Of course this HPA was also corrupt. Is it even possible to make an HPA without some level of corruption?

(Levi. My guy. I need you to use a different sprite; the quadruple image combo is starting to look ridiculous.)

What I find really interesting here is that, even in the realm of forgetting about murders, Levi remembers the three random guys before his father. Like, I know that Levi says that he kinda equally doesn't care about everyone (and I believe him to be telling the truth on that), but you would think that, just by virtue of having spent more time with his dad or the people around him's reactions, Levi would have remembered killing his father before offing three random thugs.

I don't know if this is meant to A) really drive the point home that Levi sees no difference between those he "knows" and those he doesn't; B) imply that Levi might have sustained some greater amount of trauma from killing his father that caused him to block that memory out more; C) suggest that killing the guys was more recent than killing his dad, which might lead him to remember it with more clarity; or D) some combination of the former three. However, I think it's an interesting detail to note.

The foils are foiling........

This was hilarious. And lowkey evidence that Nico was the one who tried to kill Ace.

You know, I actually almost made a theory once that the clauses "you're a murderer" and "you have no remorse" could be read as two separate secret statements! Not to say that Levi didn't have no remorse for the killing part, but that having no remorse was a state of being not solely tied to the murdering.

Alsoooo... just gonna say, Levi on Drawing Pins is looking better and better all the time...

Eden: But you're a good person. Why are you saying these things when it's clearly not true? You're so kind to everyone. You're always helping others out, even when it'd be easier not to. Like that time Ace almost died. You kept trying to help him, even if he always pushed you away. Isn't that what "a good person" does?

WE ARE BACK AT IT AGAIN!!! "GOOD PERSON" SPECIFICALLY IN THE LEVI/EDEN CONTEXT AAAAAAAAA

Beyond the further "good person" jumpscare, I found this line interesting due to how Eden describes Ace. Someone who "always pushed [Levi] away." Sounds a lot like Arei, huh? In fact, a lot of it sounds like Eden is applying it to herself.

"But I'm a good person. Why am I thinking these things when it's clearly not true? I'm so kind to everyone. I'm always helping others out, even when it'd be easier not to. Like that time Arei yelled at me. I kept trying to help her, even if she always pushed me away. Isn't that what "a good person" does?"

Obviously, I'm reading into this in the "Eden is the blackened" context, but I think that it's still an interesting read of Eden's mental state even if she isn't the blackened. We know that, to some extent, Eden blames herself for both Min and Arei's deaths. Therefore, despite likely feeling like she's fucked up, she wants to cling onto the idea that she's a good person so she doesn't lose faith in herself.

That leads into some super interesting parallels when it comes to this speech versus what Arei said, but I'll talk about that more once we get to the Arei monologue.

This week, acevi shippers take the L. Really, Levi x anyone shippers, but I think acevi shippers got the worst of it.

Except, they also took the W. "Ace lowkey confirms he once had feelings for Levi" was NOT on my bingo card. Or Star's.

(Also I LOVE this new sprite)

I saw some people talking about Ace's friend (Taylor?) but I do not remember and cannot find any information about this character (so I can't even tell if they're just fanmade :( ). If anyone knows what I'm talking about and has a link, please send it to me. Anyways, "insult to his memory" definitely makes it sound like Ace's friend is dead. I wonder if the way in which he died has anything to do with Ace's fear of horses/cowardice in general.

I want to see more Levi and Veronika interactions so bad. It's no surprise that Veronika was the first to pick up what Levi was putting down. Both of them don't have the "normal" way of processing their feelings and interacting with others, but while Levi has decided to try to be what society deems as "good" anyways, Veronika has decided to fully live by her own creed. I wonder if Levi could be at all convinced by Veronika to go back to his old ways.

Veronika: You're always guessing as to what a normal human would do in your situation. You're so awkward in social settings because you can't tell what other people want.

I'm excited to see Levi and Nico interact too, obviously. I suppose Nico is kinda like the midpoint of Veronika and Levi-- doesn't understand people and wants the world to work the way they perceive it, but also has been bullied enough to feel forced to play along with how others want them to be. Characters like these have become some of my favorite archetypes to discuss. I'm so glad that DRDT has so many of them!!!

The foils are foiling AGAIN...

Why the fuck are you so pressed about the secrets now??? I thought you were all about privacy?????

Well, thank you for "confirming" that swap, ladies! This talk of a pact is very interesting, though. I guess Hu must have gone to Veronika pretty early to ensure that her secret wouldn't get out-- makes sense, as without that there's a good chance Hu could believe that Veronika would reveal her secret at the most unflattering time to create drama.

It does slightly recontextualize Veronika's "A little mystery makes this Trial more exciting, don't you think?", though. I wonder if that was just straight up a lie, or if that was the rationale Hu used to appeal to Veronika. I doubt we'll get a flashback of this scene now that this moment's passed, but I'd love to see it. FTEs...? 👀

David you have to stop this right now or you're going to become my new favorite character. Dude's been dying to don the mantle of the comic relief character, apparently.

Is The Motive Scoreboard Accurate?

I'm including this because I've seen some other people say that it is, specifically on Teruko's front. I strongly believe that this motive board is incorrect, and Teruko and Xander's secrets are swapped.

The blaming yourself secret mentions parentS and siblingS. Back in Chapter 1 Episode 4, Teruko says that she never knew her parents (and therefore may even just be assuming that she has two), and she only had one biological brother. Furthermore, she has no idea if they're dead or not. On the parents front, she could assume that being sent to an orphanage is confirmation enough that her parents are dead instead of just not wanting her. Being sent there with her older biological brother is a further implication of that.

However, Teruko specifically says that her brother "left with some other family." She makes no mention of believing he's dead at all. Therefore, for Teruko to have the secret she claims to have, Teruko would have to be constantly mourning parents and an additional sibling that she never knew, and to believe that all of them are dead despite having no reason to believe that her known brother died.

Obviously, all of these things were said aloud to Charles and Whit, so there is a possibility that Teruko lied about or concealed parts of her past to keep her walls up around those two. However, what does this face from David mean if not "I've caught you in my trap?"

(DRDT sprites are SO GOOD--)

To me, this sprite clearly indicates that David knows that Teruko is lying about something, but has chosen not to bring it up to save it for later purposes. I don't know if he has something specific in mind or just wants to hold the potential blackmail over her head, but I strongly suspect that we'll come back to this someday-- either in later daily life or a post-Trial scene in this chapter.

It's also interesting to note that, while David knows that this is Teruko's for sure, Charles and Whit also have the opportunity to recognize the discrepancy. I definitely wouldn't be surprised if Charles kept notes about what he knows about everyone somewhere. We'll have to see if either of them ask her about it down the road as well.

Eden: I know that she's dead!! I know that she's dead and that she's never coming back. I know that I'll never be able to talk to her ever again. But even then... I have to know that when she was alive, she was still trying to become a good person. That if she lived, then maybe there'd be a world in which we would both be friends. If you really say that you lied about making Arei kill herself, then tell me the truth. Tell me that you didn't make her lose hope. Please! Tell me what happened last night between you and Arei!

Oh boy.

Can Eden Still Be the Culprit?

Look. I understand if you look at this and believe that Eden couldn't possibly be the culprit-- or at least, not without being a completely different character than we know her to be. Because I almost did. Zel's performance did a really good job of selling Eden's heartbreak in a way that makes it feel like she couldn't have possibly been the one to end Arei's life. However, upon further review, I do think that Eden's words could be that of the killer, with minimal levels of intentional manipulation thrown in.

If it would cause you emotional distress to listen to me continue to accuse Eden, I'll write the rest of this section in purple so that you can skip it if you'd like. I don't want to make anyone sad, so I fully understand if you want to avoid these bad vibes. However, for those of you who are still on the fence, and those who have stuck with Eden!culprit all along, here's my justification. I think it'll be easiest to break it down block by block.

Eden: I know that she's dead!!

Okay, well, maybe skipping this section a bit. More points for Arei truly being the one who's dead, I guess?

Eden: I know that she's dead and that she's never coming back. I know that I'll never be able to talk to her ever again.

Alright, so, this can fairly easily be read as the same thing as what Eden was doing back when she was talking to Levi: reassuring herself.

Well, maybe "reassuring" is the wrong word. Basically, she's repeating the same mantra that she told herself when she was trying to justify her decision to kill Arei. When making the decision to kill anyone, the killer (if they care) has to process that they will have to kill every other person in the game if they want to escape for themselves. Therefore, if Eden is the killer, she already had to grapple with the fact that she can't turn back time. ("You can't go back, no matter how hard you try.")

I think that Eden might have it in her head that, even if it wouldn't fully erase her wrongdoings, as long as she doesn't just forgive and forget the whole affair, it makes things slightly better. That's why she was yelling things like "You forgot about all the things you did just because you didn't face any consequences for them? That's incredibly selfish!" at Levi.

Feeling bad about things is her punishment to make sure that Arei is never fully forgotten. She knows that, if she goes through with killing, she'll never be able to talk with any of these people again. However, if there's something more important to her than these 13 lives that she has to escape the killing game to reach, it's a consequence she'll have to accept. She knows it's selfish-- but she at least won't be so selfish as to also forget everyone else's sacrifice.

Eden: But even then... I have to know that when she was alive, she was still trying to become a good person. That if she lived, then maybe there'd be a world in which we would both be friends.

This is probably the part that feels the most damning. Why would Eden care about whether or not Arei was trying to become a good person if Eden is the one who killed her? Wouldn't it be better for Eden if she wasn't?

Well, that's what Eden is trying to figure out, too. In Venus' Narrative Defense of Eden Culprit Theory, Venus says that Eden didn't believe that Arei actually changed and wanted to be her friend. And, it really makes complete sense if she didn't-- Eden had no idea that David and Teruko continued to talk so seriously with Arei after her departure, and Arei saving Eden from Arturo literally happened the same day that Arei had her breakdown. It had probably been, like, 4 hours since Arei chewed her out for her worldview being stupid, and then Arei's suddenly turning around and declaring that she wants to protect Eden at all costs. Of course Eden might just believe that Arei was setting her up for a fall! (Murder pun not intended.)

Venus also adds that, at this point in the Trial, David knew something that Eden didn't: namely, that Arei actually wanted to change, and saw Eden as her inspiration for doing so. Under the assumption that that revelation has been bothering Eden the whole time, it makes perfect sense that Eden would want to know more about what David knew about Arei. She needs to know exactly how terrible she needs to feel for doing this terrible thing.

I think the quote becomes a lot less defendable if you just swap out the "that" for an "if."

"But even then... I have to know if when she was alive, she was still trying to become a good person. That if she lived, then maybe there'd be a world in which we would both be friends."

Now, obviously, you could say that this is an unfair point-- Eden didn't say "if," she said, "that"! How can you excuse Eden based off of evidence that isn't actually real?

My point is that, even if DRDTdev didn't have Eden phrase it that way, it would be an incredibly easy swap to make. Thus, the only way in which Eden would have to be lying is to swap out one word. With that one word, "if," we see how she's still doubting whether Arei really was trying to be a good person, and can read into why she's bringing that up at this time. To disguise it, all Eden has to do is trade "if" for "that"-- she doesn't have to be some masterful lying manipulator to pull off a quick exchange that makes her look more innocent.

Eden: If you really say that you lied about making Arei kill herself, then tell me the truth. Tell me that you didn't make her lose hope.

Eden needs the truth so that she can know how despicable she actually is (in her opinion). She needs to know how bad she needs to feel for taking Arei's life, so that she won't wind up as "inhuman" as Levi.

I also think that "tell me that you didn't make Arei lose hope" could be interpreted in a killer-ish way. There is a rhetorical device in English that sorta turns words like that on their head. Like, if I said, "don't tell me you spoiled DRDT for all of your followers!," it's often interpreted as "I know that you did spoil DRDT for all of your followers, but I don't want to hear it." In this case, Eden might not want David to tell her that he made Arei lose hope because she doesn't want to believe that Arei had any hope in the first place. It's better than if Eden was the one to directly crush those hopes, sure, but if Arei approached David talking about wanting to be a better person mere hours before her death, that still means that Eden was killing a hopeful Arei. She doesn't want David to confirm her worst fears.

I don't know if I phrased that section exactly how I imagined it in my mind, but hopefully you understand what I'm getting at.

Eden: Please! Tell me what happened last night between you and Arei!

In the end, though, Eden knows that she has to face the music to figure out how she wants to proceed with this trial, whether that's sinking the cost of her fallacy or owning up to her crime. And that's how I think you can justify this outburst of Eden's within the context of her being the blackened, without having to fully corrupt her character.

What Arei Meant

This part isn't a theory, exactly; it's more of an analysis of the point I think Arei was trying to convey in this section. I've seen some people be sad about the new note that Arei's character is "going out" on, but I actually think that this is a pretty realistic, thematic ending for where Arei's story and the themes of the chapter are headed. Time to praise DRDTdev's writing for a bit!

Arei: I'm a manipulative, two-faced bitch. I pretend to be cute so that I can treat others like trash. I only care about myself, and I always hurt others for selfish and stupid reasons. Of course I wanted to change myself. [...] Still, for the longest time, I thought it was stupid to even try. I'm rotten to the core, and I might as well be a different species from saints like you and Eden. [...] No matter what, I'll never be a good person. And yet, despite all that... David, you... It turns out that you might be a total piece of shit after all. If even a perfect inspirational speaker like you turns out to be an asshole, then there's no such thing as "a good person." [...] And that makes me relieved, because it means I'm not too far gone. It's okay that I'll never be a good person, because no one else can be either.

I don't think that Arei is saying that the world is a lost cause.

Instead, she's saying that no one is a lost cause. She's applying that Syndrome logic: "if everyone is a bad person, no one will be." Arei thought that, because of her upbringing, there was no possibility that she could ever Be Good, because she'd already done too much wrong. Good People are perfect, unerring gods who do nothing but help others and reach out to wayward souls. However, David's manipulations proved that that wasn't true.

Good People fuck up. Good People do good things for bad reasons, and bad things for good reasons, and, hell, if David is a Good Person, then Good People do bad things for bad reasons sometimes, too! Arei confessed to us that she felt like her life was over because she was given an unfair start. However, now she knows that the bar has been lowered, and that being a good person can be done by anyone, anywhere, at any time. Perfection doesn't exist. Now that she knows that there was never any need to be perfect, the chance she sought for so long has finally been granted.

(Dipping back into purple for a sec to talk about Eden culprit stuff)

After this, I feel like the theme of this chapter has to be about deconstructing the myth of "The Good Person." You think that Nico is just a soft and shy bullying victim? No, they're just as willing to kill as anyone else. You think that Hu is a gracious motherly figure? No, she has an angry streak and talks over other people. You think that Levi is a softhearted giant who just struggles with what to say sometimes? His kill count is higher than everyone who's died to the killing game so far, and he doesn't really care that that's the case. You think that Whit is just a silly guy who cares about others? Fuck, even he's willing to stall out the trial in an attempt to fulfill his own agenda.

The main person who hasn't yet been proven so be not as good as they seem so far is Eden, who in this episode has been clinging to the idea of being a good person harder than ever. I know that some people believe that Eden needs to survive to fulfill the role of the optimist, but I feel like this episode proves that that isn't true. We don't need A Hopeful Person because anyone can step up to the plate and believe in hope if they want to do so. Eden isn't A Good Person, but a real person, who's just as capable of laughing and crying and living and dying as anyone else.

A good person is not gold. That's why everyone who tried to cling to the idea that they were being A Good Person-- Xander, David, Levi-- has always wound up hurting others in the end. Xander believed his actions were morally justified, and thus decided to kill Teruko, causing Min's death and lots of anguish for Teruko. David wanted to follow in his footsteps, and beyond his inspirational speaker persona causing damage to himself, he was also about to kill everyone else to do "what's right." Levi (Arei pending) hasn't killed anyone since trying to become A Good Person, but pretending to follow those guidelines without actually wanting to change anything about himself emotionally hurt Ace, who was set up with false expectations.

If Eden is so convinced that she's a good person, she's only blinding herself to the ways that she's inevitably not.

Back to Arei, while it is sad that her development was cut off just as she made this revelation, I believe that clarifying this additional bit of content is a way to allow her to rest in peace. Even if she didn't get to transform as much as she wanted to, she at least got to die knowing that she wasn't as wretched as she convinced herself that she was all these years, and having done at least one good thing-- saving Eden from Arturo-- before she passed. It's an amazing character arc to squeeze in for your second victim.

Phew, finally, a chance to talk about objective lore instead of heavy and divisive character themes! Except, uh...

WHAT THE FUCK???

Remember when, at the beginning, I said that no one could have predicted everything that came to light in this episode? This was the main point I was talking about. I don't think anyone saw this reveal coming, especially in this moment.

For starters, even though this CG does appear in David's memories, I don't think that he or Arei actually remembers whatever this was taking place. Beyond me attempting to debunk the idea that David had additional memories of Hope's Peak last week, Arei or David specifically referring to this moment means that they had to... be there? When whatever this was happened?

I say "whatever this was" to briefly create suspense before connecting the dots everyone's already talked about: that Eden was probably the one to scratch out Xander's eye. This would make Eden the "she" that Xander (er, I mean, "the guy with the bloody hands") talks about in the intro scene.

It also gives some more context to the clock with the fork stabbed into it depicted in LGI.

I don't know if "non-functional" and "I didn't expect her to" mean that Eden could have been brainwashed or otherwise broken down into not acting like herself when this happened, but it certainly seems out of character for what we know of Eden. Even her facial expression seems to suggest that she might not have wanted or intended to attack anyone with that fork.

Anyways, for Arei or David to know about the contents of that CG, they would've had to both be there when Eden attacked Xander and then also have regained/had their memories of it, which seems unlikely given how both of them treat Eden. Like, even if Arei is sure that Eden "did something to hurt someone in the past," this seems a bit extreme, and David probably wouldn't be so neutral on her if he knew that she attacked his man.

Another really clever point that I saw someone make (AND THEN COULDN'T TRACK DOWN WHO OR IN WHICH POST IT WAS--) was that Eden is wearing her current outfit in this CG. Interestingly, I looked back at A History of Hope's Peak and Visiting Graves to see what Min and Xander were wearing, and while Min was wearing her typical killing game uniform, Xander was wearing something different. Given that Min's scene takes place in HPA and Xander's doesn't, this could imply that Min was wearing the HPA uniform? That's fitting, for her.

We also know that the DRDT cast were all wearing these outfits believing that they were headed for the HPA entrance ceremony. Therefore, we know that Eden would wear this getup to school, but we don't know if she'd wear it elsewhere. Once again, assuming it was Xander who got forked, we can place this CG some time between Visiting Graves and the start of the killing game. I have a hunch that Visiting Graves might have taken place during HPA's spring break-- in A History, Min and Mai (er, I mean, "Unnamed Student") are at school studying for a test with "Spring Break next week" on the chalkboard, while in Visiting Graves, Mai and Xander have traveled elsewhere-- but that's not confirmed, so we can't lock it down.

Maybe we can get more information about this in Eden's bonus episode! Because, well, I at least do think that most of the mysteries of this CG could be solved within a bonus episode and/or other characters talking about her posthumously in later chapters. Again, I understand if you want to use this CG as evidence that Eden is important enough to need to stick around, though.

AREI I MISS YOUUUUUUUUUU

Also, I didn't catch this at all, but credit to everyone who noticed how similar this scene is to the "Diana Chiem" scene in LGI! Fascinating implications that I have no additional thoughts on at the moment. Mostly because we don't know shit about Diana, if that even is her who's portrayed in that CG. I'm sure I'll come back to this someday, just not right now.

Oh, and I don't think you can really argue that Ace made up this conversation anymore. Idk how much of it he stuck around to listen to, though.

See like why is she so pressed about it???

I'd like to say that this is a win for Whit not being the mastermind (because he doesn't seem to know what MonoTV is talking about), but he could probably just be going "why are you saying that at this time?" or something like that. Sigh (/j)

Why Does Whit Know So Much About Hanging?

Alright, so, obviously, this could be a super-suspect hint that Whit knows all of this stuff about hanging and therefore decided to use that knowledge to kill Arei. But, I don't care about that! What I don't understand is how Whit came to know all of this in the first place!

Well, after a quick review, there's one option that stands out more than all the others: Whit's mom was killed by hanging, likely self-inflicted. The only thing we "know" about Whit's mom dying (assuming that secret really is his) is that she is dead, and Whit omits it. It's phrased pretty vaguely. We also know that Whit thinks his mom is awesome, but that doesn't tell us anything about how she saw herself. Sadly, I think this lines up all too well.

Whit's main character flaw, as we've seen throughout the story so far, is ignoring things that stress him out or make him sad. He represses, and chooses not to get involved in others' fights because it's "not his business." It would make sense if the same extended to what he was like before the killing game. If Whit always chooses to ignore things that worry him, there's a possibility he blames himself for his mom's death via not paying enough attention to any warning signs that her mental state might have gotten so dire. Of course, if repression runs in the family, she might have been doing her best to not make it obvious as well.

So, even though he hates himself for not giving his mom enough support in her darkest hour, he still can't (yet) make any changes in his life because ignorance is the only way he knows how to cope. Yet, he still won't let himself pass up on helping another soul in clear need of support, like Charles panicking over the blood, or Eden suffering over seeing Arei's body. He can push himself to help others that are sad, as long as he never focuses on himself.

Or, he's the time loop mastermind who's heard Class Trials discuss hanging a billion times before. You never know with this guy.

CONGRATS TO FF AND BADJOE FOR BEING THE SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Man, even seeing Teruko explain this mechanism as the truth, I still don't know if I would've been able to come up with it myself. This fandom is so smart :D

(Also, why was Whit a dog? Goddammit, is this more MonoTV coding?! /lh)

FUCK YES, WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO GET ANSWERS ABOUT THE GYM MURDER IN THIS TRIAL? HALLELUJAH! IT'S ABOUT TO BE T A P E T I M E, MOTHERFUCKERS! (/j)

Phew, barely squeaked it within 30 images! I'm impressed and amazed that DRDTdev keeps managing to make such gripping episodes week after week.

Get it? Gripping? Like grippy tape?

I'd apologize, but you're almost certainly going to hear more of that from me next week. Until then!

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #drdt chapter 2 part 2 spoilers #fanganronpa #cw suicide mention #levi fontana #ace markey #eden tobisa #whit young #teruko tawaki #arei nageishi #btw i hope i didn't come off as at all rude or condescending to people who don't believe in eden culprit #especially bc i was the one who was saying that no one should use the trial results to be mean to each other #my goal was only to celebrate some of my friends for having their theories turn out to be true #but i do truly feel for anyone whose expectations aren't lining up with reality. i'm sure that must be hard after the long wait #(and also to be clear i'm not discounting that i'll be proven wrong not long from now i just don't think it's happened yet)#(or maybe i'm just still delusional)#my theories

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