#Entity NEO
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the star of the show!
@entityneo
#entity neo#napstablook#mettaton#mettaton neo#undertale#ah yes for today’s art shenanigans: how do i vibrant my colors hard enough to cast light mode#this is. a little off from the vision that hit on the train last friday! but Still Good#did not intend to try painting (sorta) but who needs art style consistency when i can pull this shit (/pos)#+bonus ramblings from me notes:#it’s all about the ✨symbolism✨. it’s all bright and all that fun shit because they’re the star.#except they’re not. except they are in a sense.#wings are vaguely shaped like that of a butterfly. which is extremely funny actually.#symbol of change and life and death. who else has all three as a theme?#they’re the star of the show! they’re not happy about it. all eyes on them and they’d probably hate that so much.#>:D
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NULL
#katana zero#pose referenced from 'upon the throne 006' by null-entity on deviantart image filter from photomosh.com#was gifted this game fairly recently and had such a great time with it. fantastic neo-noir with addicting gameplay... glad theyre making DL#cw#blood#drew this a while ago then went back to tweak it rn and i keep. staring at it and finding mistakes. help#id in alt
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#fridaynightfunkin#fridaynightfunkinfanart#friday night funkin#fnf#fnf fanart#fnf soft mod#fnf soft au#fnf neo#fnf b3#fnf tabi#fnf agoti#fnf ayana#fnf void#fnf kou#fnf entity#fnf nikusa#fnf whitty#fnf hex#fnf carol#fanart
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New Shoes With a Fashionable Twist!!
Current fashion says camo shoes are in, but the pattern should be vertical, not horizontal. Father approves since he's done this before when he first started wearing his odd rainbow gloves. But now he shifts the pattern himself... will Haz pick up that too? Hmmm.
Inspiration below.
These perfect shoes don't exist you say. Well...
They do!
#ntwewy#ntwewy spoilers#neo the world ends with you spoilers#neo the world ends with you#hazuki mikagi#yoshiya joshua kiryu#joshua kiryu#twewy#twewy oc#father twewy oc#twewy spoilers#i don't know how much joshua would actually care but i'm sure he would have at least a thought on only having the pattern rotate#my art#my twewy series art#twewy parental entities
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I PRESENT TO YOU THE BOY THE ONE THE NOT-SO ONLY BUTTERCREAM! He is here to say hello and he hopes you have a good day <3 <3 <3 <3 That being said my ass tiiiiired I'm gonna go to bed and then go more on Pinterest later today to learn stuff and save every single ref Jinx gave me from the board <3 I'm so excited, this is genuinely- I might have finally broken through my stunted growth all thanks to a friend being so kind as to guide me ;o; <3 <3 <3 but yes for now I 100 percent need some rest and then I'll wake up and provide more *food* <3 Feel free to lmk how you feel if you want! ALSO: YES I KNOW HIS HAIR[THE POMPADOUR/FLUFFY MOHAWK] IS VERY AMATEUR AND NOT VERY GOOD. I AM CURRENTLY RESEARCHING POMPS AND MULLETS TO LEARN HOW TO PROPERLY SPAM. I WILL FIX HIS HAIR FOR THE FINAL DON'T WORRY. <3
#oc:buttercream#the poor baby hes so jaded#deltarune chapter 2#spamton#spamton deltarune#spamton neo#spamsona#spamton neo deltarune#spamton fanart#angel#angelic power#divine entity#this one has the roughest lore of all their 30 year old sons-#but i plan to give them a happy ending i promise
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I think it's weird as hell when people act like Trivia is a separate person from Neo and want her to "come back". Like dude Neo is who Trivia was always meant to be, that was the whole point of Roman Holiday. She found herself.
#i cant remember if ive made this post before but it remains true#Neopolitan Prime wasn't some fully formed entity#she was what Trivia wanted to be like#she was her ideal#and then she grew into that ideal#ugh im so passionate about her#neopolitan#rwby neo#neo rwby#rwby neopolitan#Neopolitan rwby#roman holiday#my post
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somepeople still in passing call me void and i really really still quite enjoy the name
#despite it all im still a queer ass space entity#rambles#a girl has GOTS to find some space neos that really resonate with me. then its fucking over for you all
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Compilation of sillys :]
References under cut
youtube
youtube
#splatoon#splatoon art#splatoon comic#comic#videogame art#videogames#videogame comic#my art#artists on tumblr#neo agent 3#captian 3#shitpost#thats a lollypop in my inkling's mouth since they/i dont smoke#i love drawing siblings being siblings <3#*me and my brother playing baseball with a sword and a bomb*#Splat dare is a entity of chaos while callie is concentrated chaos#my brother is chill untill were put together and then we unlock dumbass mode :]#dare is the bain of orcas exsistence *cue more and more rediculious slapstick of dare trying to smuggle in their sword into tests*#neo squidbeak splatoon#callie and marie#splatoon callie#splatoon marie#Agent 1#Agent 3#vines#memes
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WOW!
Very cool.
Now people without an income can still file a patent
#I was doing initial research and some lawyer's like 'oh yeah real patents cost at least $50k' and i'm like uhh#'isn't that a horrible sign for innovation then? only rich people are allowed to have ideas?'#but then as I learn more it's becoming clear#a utility patent *would* cost a large corporation over $50k to get probably even more than $100k#but if you're an INDIVIDUAL? like a one-person human being entity? Your patent costs are less than 10x smaller#like it's micro#the patent costs for a solo rogue cowgirl / cow person / cowboy#and if you are low-income this link is how to get a patent FOR FREE BABY#that's inter-generational wealth opportunities to smart people FREE OF MONEY-COST#i'm not going to say meritocracy is the best system but it's definitely better than the neo-feudalism going on in Mitch McConnell's senate#i'm tired of racist lazy bastardos leading the nation let's have a smart sharp go-getter who's motivated take the helm for chrissakes
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The universe works in mysterious ways, but I'm starting to think it ain't working for me Doctor, should I be good? Should I be good this year?
happy (actually checks numbers this time) 8th anniversary to @entityneo! love this traumatized ghostbot. love how they cling onto the past so intensely that they end up dragging its dead weight forward :D
#entity neo#napstablook#mettaton neo#mettaton#undertale#so this ended up being partially inspired by ajr's tmm tour performance of karma#looks extremely cool btw. excited to watch it during the tmm tour livestream yippee!!#not pictured: me raising my hands in the air at that one part of karma. the one that sounds like ascending into the heaven#goes hard!!!#so yes i am once again combining my hyperfixations
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i havent even finished editing the prev fic for jupe but i did write this for the next part and it made me laugh
#jupiter.speaks#> me the author and also jupiter: jupe u cant just “what the hell man” ur way out of this situation. jupe: watch me.#> just setting the vibe immediately u know. his ass is not going to handle it. he IS going to get silly with it#> i think its funny that kos n jupe r so similar (isekais) and yet sooo different#> like kos is so intimately intertwined into the canon (n unknowingly has been since a young age) and experiences an entire retelling of it#> whereas jupe shows up 20mins late. monster in hand. work laptop in his backpack. has no connection at all hes just here for a laugh#> well i mean he does wanna go back but also...kinda not. kos has that too tho tbf! kos kind of...cant go back. unless kos (entity) lets him#> i just love lore i love inventing things i need to write down everything eventually#> im intending to collate every detail (written fics + my general idea) per s/i / ship on my neo when its done but. not quite yet#> okay gn i have work :(
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_you know your hair
_i know of it
_it's all blue!
_i change my hair every week-and-a-half, dude. get used to it.
#artists on tumblr#poetry#art#fake it till you make it#i said what i said#blue#blue hair#cyber y2k#neo y2k#y2k#y2k aesthetic#y2kcore#cybernetic entity#portrait#photography#old web#ramona flowers#scott pilgrim#scott pilgram vs the world#quotes#electro#emo#indie rock#2014 tumblr#female hysteria#femcel#musician#female#feminism
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...Hmm. To think when she first showed up here she'd have felt a lot less conflicted about this vacancy.
#isola mini#Bwaaake ;~;#These two had so many good memories together#Like when Blake tried to kill Neo after she knocked Yang into the abyss#Or when Neo tried to kill Blake when she first showed up in their townhouse#Or when Neo pushed one of the most important people in Blake's life to unmake herself#And then was horrifically possessed by a malevolent entity who- like Blake- was also a cat#Such good times T_T#But fr now that she's more chill she would've been fine living with Blake- better than a bunch of strangers probably
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Comforts for Father.
In which Angels can imprint-like feelings on another. It's not guaranteed to replace how the other was feeling before, and you could probably force an override, but your results may not be healthy in the long term.
In this case, Mother is offering something soothing while she works. Father can accept it or ignore it. And it's tied to her jacket too since it's not only her clothing but maybe like a part of her? I dunno about that part. But he could probably wander off with it and feel the calming effects for a quite a while as if she was still nearby.
Mother and Father OCs Master Post
Some original background about this scenario: This post A Healthy Dose of Chaos AU and is from a timeline where Father a) has a crush on Hanekoma and b) confesses to him and c) gets rejected. After the rejection he starts wearing a bear hat which is only brightly coloured because I don't know what its design will be yet. The cyan will remind me...or it will be the design.
I say it's from almost from another timeline because I'm not as keen on Father having a crush on Hanekoma anymore, but I figured I should share it. Regardless of what led to this, this might be the first or one of the few times Mother has done something like this, which is why Father is surprised.
#twewy spoilers#ntwewy spoilers#neo the world ends with you spoilers#the world ends with you spoilers#twewy#ntwewy#mother twewy oc#father twewy oc#twewy oc#twewy parental entities#gosh i miss working these so much so i cleaned up a doodle of them :']#my twewy series art#my art
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The majority of censorship is self-censorship
I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT in SAN DIEGO (Feb 22, Mysterious Galaxy). After that, it's LA (Saturday night, with Adam Conover), Seattle (Monday, with Neal Stephenson), then Portland, Phoenix and more!
I know a lot of polymaths, but Ada Palmer takes the cake: brilliant science fiction writer, brilliant historian, brilliant librettist, brilliant singer, and then some:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/10/monopoly-begets-monopoly/#terra-ignota
Palmer is a friend and a colleague. In 2018, she, Adrian Johns and I collaborated on "Censorship, Information Control, & Information Revolutions from Printing Press to Internet," a series of grad seminars at the U Chicago History department (where Ada is a tenured prof, specializing in the Inquisition and Renaissance forbidden knowledge):
https://ifk.uchicago.edu/research/faculty-fellow-projects/censorship-information-control-information-revolutions-from-printing-press/
The project had its origins in a party game that Ada and I used to play at SF conventions: Ada would describe a way that the Inquisitions' censors attacked the printing press, and I'd find an extremely parallel maneuver from governments, the entertainment industry or other entities from the much more recent history of internet censorship battles.
With the seminars, we took it to the next level. Each 3h long session featured a roster of speakers from many disciplines, explaining everything from how encryption works to how white nationalists who were radicalized in Vietnam formed an armored-car robbery gang to finance modems and Apple ][+s to link up neo-Nazis across the USA.
We borrowed the structure of these sessions from science fiction conventions, home to a very specific kind of panel that doesn't always work, but when it does, it's fantastic. It was a natural choice: after all, Ada and I know each other through science fiction.
Even if you're not an sf person, you've probably heard of the Hugo Awards, the most prestigious awards in the field, voted on each year by attendees of the annual World Science Fiction Convention (Worldcon). And even if you're not an sf fan, you might have heard about a scandal involving the Hugo Awards, which were held last year in China, a first:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/science-fiction-authors-excluded-hugo-awards-china-rcna139134
A little background: each year's Worldcon is run by a committee of volunteers. These volunteers put together bids to host the Worldcon, and canvass Worldcon attendees to vote in favor of their bid. For many years, a group of Chinese fans attempted to field a successful bid to host a Worldcon, and, eventually, they won.
At the time, there were many concerns: about traveling to a country with a poor human rights record and a reputation for censorship, and about the logistics of customary Worldcon attendees getting visas. During this debate, many international fans pointed to the poor human rights record in the USA (which has hosted the vast majority of Worldcons since their inception), and the absolute ghastly rigmarole the US government subjects many foreign visitors to when they seek visas to come to the US for conventions.
Whatever side of this debate you came down on, it couldn't be denied that the Chinese Worldcon rang a lot of alarm-bells. Communications were spotty, and then the con was unceremoniously rescheduled for months after the original scheduled date, without any good explanation. Rumors swirled of Chinese petty officials muscling their way into the con's administration.
But the real alarm bells started clanging after the Hugo Award ceremony. Normally, after the Hugos are given out, attendees are given paper handouts tallying the nominations and votes, and those numbers are also simultaneously published online. Technically, the Hugo committee has a grace period of some weeks before this data must be published, but at every Worldcon I've attended over the past 30+ years, I left the Hugos with a data-sheet in my hand.
Then, in early December, at the very last moment, the Hugo committee released its data – and all hell broke loose. Numerous, acclaimed works had been unilaterally "disqualified" from the ballot. Many of these were written by writers from the Chinese diaspora, but some works – like an episode of Neil Gaiman's Sandman – were seemingly unconnected to any national considerations.
Readers and writers erupted in outrage, demanding to know what had happened. The Hugo administrators – Americans and Canadians who'd volunteered in those roles for many years and were widely viewed as being members in good standing of the community – were either silent or responded with rude and insulting remarks. One thing they didn't do was explain themselves.
The absence of facts left a void that rumors and speculation rushed in to fill. Stories of Chinese official censorship swirled online, and along with them, a kind of I-told-you-so: China should never have been home to a Worldcon, the country's authoritarian national politics are fundamentally incompatible with a literary festival.
As the outrage mounted and the scandal breached from the confines of science fiction fans and writers to the wider world, more details kept emerging. A damning set of internal leaks revealed that it was those long-serving American and Canadian volunteers who decided to censor the ballot. They did so out of a vague sense that the Chinese state would visit some unspecified sanction on the con if politically unpalatable works appeared on the Hugo ballot. Incredibly, they even compiled clumsy dossiers on nominees, disqualifying one nominee out of a mistaken belief that he had once visited Tibet (it was actually Nepal).
There's no evidence that the Chinese state asked these people to do this. Likewise, it wasn't pressure from the Chinese state that caused them to throw out hundreds of ballots cast by Chinese fans, whom they believed were voting for a "slate" of works (it's not clear if this is the case, but slate voting is permitted under Hugo rules).
All this has raised many questions about the future of the Hugo Awards, and the status of the awards that were given in China. There's widespread concern that Chinese fans involved with the con may face state retaliation due to the negative press that these shenanigans stirred up.
But there's also a lot of questions about censorship, and the nature of both state and private censorship, and the relationship between the two. These are questions that Ada is extremely well-poised to answer; indeed, they're the subject of her book-in-progress, entitled Why We Censor: from the Inquisition to the Internet.
In a magisterial essay for Reactor, Palmer stakes out her central thesis: "The majority of censorship is self-censorship, but the majority of self-censorship is intentionally cultivated by an outside power":
https://reactormag.com/tools-for-thinking-about-censorship/
States – even very powerful states – that wish to censor lack the resources to accomplish totalizing censorship of the sort depicted in Nineteen Eighty-Four. They can't go from house to house, searching every nook and cranny for copies of forbidden literature. The only way to kill an idea is to stop people from expressing it in the first place. Convincing people to censor themselves is, "dollar for dollar and man-hour for man-hour, much cheaper and more impactful than anything else a censorious regime can do."
Ada invokes examples modern and ancient, including from her own area of specialty, the Inquisition and its treatment of Gailileo. The Inquistions didn't set out to silence Galileo. If that had been its objective, it could have just assassinated him. This was cheap, easy and reliable! Instead, the Inquisition persecuted Galileo, in a very high-profile manner, making him and his ideas far more famous.
But this isn't some early example of Inquisitorial Streisand Effect. The point of persecuting Galileo was to convince Descartes to self-censor, which he did. He took his manuscript back from the publisher and cut the sections the Inquisition was likely to find offensive. It wasn't just Descartes: "thousands of other major thinkers of the time wrote differently, spoke differently, chose different projects, and passed different ideas on to the next century because they self-censored after the Galileo trial."
This is direct self-censorship, where people are frightened into silencing themselves. But there's another form of censorship, which Ada calls "middlemen censorship." That's when someone other than the government censors a work because they fear what the government would do if they didn't. Think of Scholastic's cowardly decision to pull inclusive, LGBTQ books out of its book fair selections even though no one had ordered them to do so:
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/06/books/scholastic-book-racism-maggie-tokuda-hall.html
This is a form of censorship outsourcing, and it "multiplies the manpower of a censorship system by the number of individuals within its power." The censoring body doesn't need to hire people to search everyone's houses for offensive books – it can frighten editors, publishers, distributors, booksellers and librarians into suppressing the books in the first place.
This outsourcing blurs the line between state and private surveillance. Think about comics. After a series of high-profile Congressional hearings about the supposed danger of comics to impressionable young minds, the comics industry undertook a regime of self-censorship, through which the private Comics Code Authority would vet comings for "dangerous" content before allowing its seal of approval to appear on the comics' covers. Distributors and retailers refused to carry books without a CCA stamp, so publishers refused to publish books unless they could get a CCA stamp.
The CCA was unaccountable, capricious – and racist. By the 60s and 70s, it became clear that comic about Black characters were subjected to much tighter scrutiny than comics featuring white heroes. The CCA would reject "a drop of sweat on the forehead of a Black astronaut as 'too graphic' since it 'could be mistaken for blood.'" Every comic that got sent back by the CCA meant long, brutal reworkings by writers and illustrators to get them past the censors.
The US government never censored heroes like Black Panther, but the chain of events that created the CCA "middleman censors" made sure that Black Panther appeared in far fewer comics starring Marvel's most prominent Black character. An analysis of censorship that tries to draw a line between private and public censorship would say that the government played no role in Black Panther's banishment to obscurity – but without Congressional action, Black Panther would never have faced censorship.
This is why attempts to cleanly divide public and private censorship always break down. Many people will tell you that when Twitter or Facebook blocks content they disagree with, that's not censorship, since censorship is government action, and these are private actors. What they mean is that Twitter and Facebook censorship doesn't violate the First Amendment, but it's perfectly possible to infringe on free speech without violating the US Constitution. What's more, if the government fails to prevent monopolization of our speech forums – like social media – and also declines to offer its own public speech forums that are bound to respect the First Amendment, we can end up with government choices that produce an environment in which some ideas are suppressed wherever they might find an audience – all without violating the Constitution:
https://locusmag.com/2020/01/cory-doctorow-inaction-is-a-form-of-action/
The great censorious regimes of the past – the USSR, the Inquisition – left behind vast troves of bureaucratic records, and these records are full of complaints about the censors' lack of resources. They didn't have the manpower, the office space, the money or the power to erase the ideas they were ordered to suppress. As Ada notes, "In the period that Spain’s Inquisition was wildly out of Rome’s control, the Roman Inquisition even printed manuals to guide its Inquisitors on how to bluff their way through pretending they were on top of what Spain was doing!"
Censors have always done – and still do – their work not by wielding power, but by projecting it. Even the most powerful state actors are not powerful enough to truly censor, in the sense of confiscating every work expressing an idea and punishing everyone who creates such a work. Instead, when they rely on self-censorship, both by individuals and by intermediaries. When censors act to block one work and not another, or when they punish one transgressor while another is free to speak, it's tempting to think that they are following some arcane ruleset that defines when enforcement is strict and when it's weak. But the truth is, they censor erratically because they are too weak to censor comprehensively.
Spectacular acts of censorship and punishment are a performance, "to change the way people act and think." Censors "seek out actions that can cause the maximum number of people to notice and feel their presence, with a minimum of expense and manpower."
The censor can only succeed by convincing us to do their work for them. That's why drawing a line between state censorship and private censorship is such a misleading exercise. Censorship is, and always has been, a public-private partnership.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/22/self-censorship/#hugos
#pluralistic#ada palmer#worldcon#hugos#china#science fiction#fanac#publishing#censorship#systems of information control during information revolutions#scholarship
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it’s october 7th. you hear about the attack by seeing people you followed glorifying the terrorist attack—a massacre, a pogrom—as victory & justified resistance, glorifying a terrorist group that was founded with the explicit intent to kill your entire people
you make a post in which you make it clear you support palestinians and oppose the ways israel has wronged them, explaining that the terrorist group is still not good. you know you will probably get some flacc from the pro-Hamas side, but naively underestimate how much.
you get thousands of notifications on that one post, the majority of them hateful comments.
some of the response is positive. multiple messages thank you for the post, expressing bafflement that it’s controversial.
a few Israelis are upset at the loaded language in your post, but explain their problems with it civilly. you called Israel “apartheid”. they ask you what apartheid laws Israel has. you admit you honestly don’t know.
your inbox is flooded with anonymous hate from anti-Israel leftists.
over the course of a few weeks you have received hundreds of death threats, a dozen rape threats. people accuse you of being pro-genocide. you’re a literal Nazi. you’re racist, you thirst for the blood of Palestinians. you’re brainwashed by propaganda, a shill for The Zionist Entity. a few of the hate messages are from literal Neo-Nazis; the overwhelming majority are from leftists, many of them queer.
you are considering suicide.
you see footage of the october 7th attacks. you see footage of the bombings in gaza. you see footage of a Jewish man being murdered at an anti-Israel rally.
a popular creator you follow posts in support of an antisemitic hate group that masquerades as a Jewish organization. this organization regularly posts blood libel and other antisemitic rhetoric, works with groups that are even more explicitly antisemitic, including celebrating October 7th, holocaust inversion, blood libel, “Khazar theory” and others. more than one of the orgs they work with is pro-Putin.
your former roommate liked the post.
graffiti appears on a street you frequent that says “#freepalestine” and “end settler colonialism”
the boyfriend of the friend you spent most of the summer with makes his first post about the war. it’s a reposted comic that mocks and downplays the october 7th attack.
you doubt he’ll be receptive to criticism. he’s shared leftist memes about “monied elites” pulling all the strings and evangelicals being modern day “pharisees” in the past, and getting him to understand why that was antisemitic was like herding cats. you try anyway.
another of his Jewish friends also pushes back. he smugly dismisses her, tells her she’s falling for Zionist propaganda and uses several antisemitic tropes. you go off on him. he just deletes your comment.
you give up. you’re done. you block him.
you see anti-Israel posters and billboards around town
you mention what happened with the guy you went off on to his girlfriend—the friend you’ve grown very close to, who you’ve been listening to as she unburdens her fears for the future and complains about her bf’s BS over the last year. she doesn’t respond to you.
a friend of a friend shares posts tokenizing fringe groups that spread blood libel and have collaborated with holocaust deniers. you know they don’t know what you know, so you explain what those groups are. they seem somewhat receptive, apologize, and take it down
the next day they share several more posts that dip into antisemitic tropes. you mention this to your mutual friend, that you’re worried about them being radicalized. you’re not sure how receptive they’ll be to continued criticism
you have a confrontation with the foaf. in the meantime they’ve shared even more antisemitic posts. they say they didn’t mean to cause you distress but instead of stopping they effectively block you.
the “end settler colonialism” vandalism has been counter-vandalized with the words “commie propaganda” in place of “settler colonialism”. you don’t know if this is an improvement.
a month passes. the friend whose bf you went off on still hasn’t spoken to you. you see she shared a post defending an SJP chapter that posted Nazi cartoon caricatures of Jews repurposed in “Anti-Zionist” memes. you unfriend her on all social media platforms but you can’t bring yourself to block her number.
you see a friend of someone whose couch you surfed when you were homeless harassing Jewish celebrities with “Free Palestine” comments. you block them.
you’ve lost count of how many people you’ve unfollowed or blocked, or who’ve blocked you. friends, content creators.
when a friend takes an unusually long time to respond you worry if it’s because of your posts about antisemitism.
most of the podcasts, youtube channels, and other content creators you regularly engaged with no longer feel safe. you wonder who will be next
a couple friends wish you a happy hanukkah. you don’t celebrate much aside from lighting the hanukkiah and making some latkes.
you see posts about a destroyed chabad menorah, antisemitic comments on Jewish celebrities’ Hanukkah posts.
your neighborhood is covered in pro-Palestine & anti-Israel posters. some are seemingly innocuous, some are JVP “not in our name” posters. some call for intifada. “globalize the intifada” “Zionists fuck off!” “solidarity means attack!”
a man kills himself shouting “free palestine”. you learn about his suicide by seeing posts from several popular accounts you followed glorifying it.
you follow a bunch of jewish accounts on social media and commiserate with them about everything happening
your jewish friends post screenshots of the dead man’s antisemitic, pro-Hamas views. you look at his reddit and find even more horrific shit: anti-Ukraine posts. mocking Zelensky. “elites” are “lizard people”; the only named individual he calls a lizard person is Jewish. you start to notice a pattern: a lot of the people he dislikes just so happen to be jews.
several people you know share a post glorifying this man’s suicide. most are acquaintances, one is someone incredibly important to you.
you wonder how they would respond to your suicide.
you tell the close friend that shared this post how it scares you. you show them the receipts of the man’s antisemitism. their response is a single sentence. they didn’t know about the antisemitism.
they don’t apologize.
you notice none of your irl friends, even your closest ones, interact with your posts about antisemitism. you are able to vent to a couple friends, but no one has reach out to you
you try not to read into it. you try not to take it personally.
you haven’t slept well in months. you’ve always been an insomniac but not like this. you’re not sleeping until 4am, 6am, even 9am. even when you get to bed at a decent hour and get a full night’s rest it takes you hours to get out of bed.
a few weeks go by. the friend with the single sentence response shares a post saying they’re excited and proud to join a group to help palestinians. you’re excited and proud for them.
a couple days later, they share a post about a fundraiser to help a palestinian family get out of gaza. you note to yourself this is a much more effective & less concerning form of activism than the pro-suicidal antisemite post.
your friend shares another post about the fundraiser. it’s a joint post between their group and another group.
you open the other group’s page
the page is just a wall of signs from rallies. you swipe through one after another: “from the river to the sea”, “by any means necessary”, justifying/denying the atrocities of october 7th, calling for violent revolution. anything done in the name of resistance can’t be terrorism, all Israelis are terrorists. Jews aren’t indigenous; they’re white colonizers. holocaust inversion. other vile, thinly veiled violent rhetoric
you feel sick to your stomach imagining talking to your friend about it.
you already feel like you’re burdening the few friends you can talk to about this. you already feel like you think about it too much, talk about it too much. but you can’t not think about it; it affects every aspect of your life.
you’ve filtered out relevant keywords on more than one social media site to avoid the worst of it. some still manages to leak through.
there isn’t a single friend you regularly interact with that you don’t fear the moment when they will switch from listening to your concerns to seeing you as the evil zionist or indoctrinated hasbaranik they’ve been warned about.
it’s not an irrational fear. it keeps happening. you knew it would then, and you were powerless to do anything about it before, and you continue to be as it happens again and again.
you don’t know what to do about any of it.
#idk just kinda wanted to document what this has been like all back to back#I know some of these on their own might come across as not that big of a deal but all together#they add up#tw for the all of it#cw trauma dump#antisemitism#i/p#tw suicide#tw suicidal ideation#tw death threats#tw rape threats#tw october 7th#tw terrorism
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