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crumbledcastle28 · 1 year ago

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Joel Miller: Stay Down

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (she/her; afab)

Word count: 3.2k

Summary: Joel thought he had grown accustomed to fear until he finds you covered in blood.

Excerpt: He swallowed, attempting to choose his words carefully. He had never been good with them, attributing his deficiency to a long line of likewise men before him. His brain poured for sonnets, poetry, prose that he had read in his insignificant time on this planet. Something to impress you, distract you, to take away that crestfallen look in your eye.

He couldn’t do it. He never would be. So, he used his mouth for something else.

Warnings: stitching of a wound, kissing, blood, blood loss, so much yearning, unestablished relationship, probably incorrect gun talk, Joel is scared of feelings.

A/N: This is me coping with the fact that we do not get more last of us in January. Also partially inspired by my favorite song maybe ever.

Pedro Masterlist

All my writing

Joel had found his hands becoming more and more susceptible to the cold as he got older.

They would crack and bleed, flaking dried skin within his decades-old gloves before November had even begun. This not only hurt like hell, but forced him to slow down and think about what he was doing to his body for once in his life. He had a harder time gripping the reins on a horse or fingering the trigger on a shotgun. Noticeably so. And living in a small town with a little brother foaming at the mouth to make old man jokes didn't help matters.

This is what led him to you.

He wouldn't call you a hoarder. Honestly, he would be the first to admit that you were one of the smartest people in Jackson. You had somehow become one of the most materialistically rich people in the town. You consistently managed to find the most randomly useful items on your patrols, things that people before the outbreak would never have even thought to miss.

Things like shoe insoles, ball point pens, Chapstick.

And luckily for him, lotion.

You never charged anyone for taking from what you had. Furthermore, you actively asked people if they needed anything. Even offering to scout around the area in search of specifics. Joel hadn't been around that kind of softness since...

Well, a long time.

This made him uncharacteristically nervous when he first approached your doorstep, but he knocked anyway. He had never in a million years expected to leave that house satisfied in more ways than one.

He blamed it on that stupid crinkle the skin underneath your eyes got whenever you smiled at him. He couldn't help but fall into your light.

This started a... friendship. Of sorts. He would come over when he needed you, and you would happily oblige. As time went on, the visits to yours became more and more frequent, frequent enough that the rest of the town seemed to be catching on. At least, that's what his brother had been hinting at through jabs and side comments.

"You smiled at me the other day, Joel," Tommy had said. "Actually smiled."

Joel responded with a gesture he was hoping Ellie would not pick up anytime soon.

Joel was...happy. Happy with the arrangement. He had a warm body – a fucking gorgeous warm body – to get his energy out with, and the woman inside the body seemingly had no issue with his lack of strings attached.

And yet, for some reason, this annoyed him.

There was some undetectable, bruised part of him that wanted you to…what exactly? Fight him on it? Confess your undying love for him? Pull him back into bed to cuddle?

There had to be either pheromones or crack cocaine in that honeyed floral perfume you always wore. You were beginning to drive him this insane. Unfortunately for him, the place he went when he was beginning to toe that line into insanity was always you.

Joel had checked the schedule posted in the main square, assigning every able-bodied person shifts of patrol. You had a shift earlier in the day, which usually kept you busy until noon. You would then shower, eat, and spend the rest of the afternoon doing whatever the hell you wanted.

Overtime, these mental gymnastics became muscle memory to Joel.

He huffed as he lugged his aching legs up your steps, their typical milk white now coated in an ugly muddy brown. Winter had begun, apparent by the puffs of Joel’s own breaths, and the snow in Jackson was trying desperately to keep up.

Joel balled his hands into fists as he planted both feet onto your porch, blowing into them quickly, before knocking three times. Spaced out enough, but not too much. He envisioned you smiling as you heard his signature knock, but cringed at himself internally, burying the thought instantly.

It fluttered back to the surface when he heard the pads of your footsteps somewhere in the house begin but extinguished itself when they dissipated.

He waited a few more seconds, the rational part of his brain saying that you must be in the middle of something, but the man part of his brain imagining you putting on your silky red robe he loved so much, only for him to take it off you so slowly it made his own fingers shake. He breathed in deep, the laundry detergent from his nylon coat mixed with the beginnings of December filling his nose, and cracked his neck while rocking back and forth on his heels.

His eyebrows came together when he heard another rustle, then nothing.

He knocked again.

Still, nothing,

He knew you were in there – he could hear you, clear as day, and he knew you could hear him – but for some reason, you weren’t coming to the door.

His much too weathered mind began to race, thinking of three possible explanations. One, you heard him knocking, and were ignoring him. Two, you somehow were not hearing him knock on the door. Or three, you for some reason were not able to get to the door.

Meaning, there was a possibility you weren’t alone in there, and not by choice.

“Y/N?” he asked loudly. “Y/N, are you in there?”

Nothing. A bit more rustling, maybe a slight groan, but nothing.

Joel’s fingers began to tingle, and it wasn’t from the cold. He knocked again, harder.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there,” he said loudly, “just…just tell me you’re okay.”

Silence.

He gripped the doorknob and jiggled it, hard enough for the wood to groan underneath his fingertips, but it was locked from the inside. He huffed, knocking again, his hot breaths now clouding his face. He felt an ache in his wrist.

He said your name one more time, hearing the beginnings of a voice he knew better than he should have muffled by the wood, and the door was flat in front of him before he could think twice.

He stomped his way inside, coating the ground with mud and snow, and his eyes darted around the familiar living room. His vision was tunneled, scrounging for the shape of you on the floor, draped over the couch, held at gunpoint. His heart pulsed in his ears.

You weren’t in the living room.

He stomped into the kitchen, the bathroom, the basement, nothing. All that was left was the bedroom.

There was no way in hell you were still asleep.

He practically sprinted to the room, preparing himself. He had seen what men did to women, the remnants of it anyway, and despite his state of denial, he could never in a million years handle the sight of you that way. In your own bed. In your own house. Likely one of your own friends.

He pulled open the door anyway, and was met with gold.

The room was dim except for the lamps you loved so dearly, spreading their warm, glowing, honeyed light across the room in streaks. He blinked his eyes to adjust, focusing in on your body on the bed. You were facing him, skin painted with similar golden streaks, highlighting the tears culminating under your eyes. You were sat crisscrossed, upper body totally bare, back slouched tightly, your body practically folded in on itself. Your right hand was pressed against your left shoulder blade, while your other was filled with wine-colored rags.

Blood-soaked rags.

His eyes met yours quickly, and despite their dampness, they still had that fucking crinkle.

You chuckled, your shoulders dropping up and down quickly as they always do.

“You know,” you said, voice curdled and tired, “if someone doesn’t answer the door, that’s usually them saying ‘leave me the hell alone.”

You chuckled again, this time finishing it off with a wince.

His hand slid slowly from the doorknob as he took a hesitant step towards you, his body tearing itself in half. One side begging to fold your body into him, bubbling you in a cocoon. The other, itching to tear whatever did this to you apart ligament by ligament.

Your eyes slowly drooped from humor to something like shame, like a kicked dog or a broken child, and he stepped forward again.

“Don’t,” you countered weakly. “Just…just don’t.”

You scooted away from him slightly, refusing to look at him, and applied more pressure to whatever was expelling that much blood from your shoulder. Pain was suddenly present in your face.

“You want me to leave?” he quickly countered.

You said nothing.

He walked to you, removing the hand you had pressed against your wound, and sucked in a quick breath.

“Probably the first time you’ve seen a revolver bullet in about twenty years, huh Joel?” you asked, chuckling once more.

He barely heard you.

You had gotten the bullet out, but it had sunken in deep. The skin around it was red and welting, so swollen that Joel had to guess you had already been working on it for at least an hour. He winced, imagining what kind of pain you were in, and the fact that you were dealing with it all yourself.

He swallowed grimly.

“Hand me that rag,” he said. He could tell how little strength you had left to fight him by how quickly the rag flopped into his hand.

He pressed it to the wound, and you hissed.

“Fuck Joel,” you whined, squeezing the covers of your bed so tightly your knuckles went white. He held his pressure, forcing himself to think straight.

He might as well have been feeling the pain in his own shoulder.

He finally eased his pressure, wiping away as much blood from the area as he could.

“You cleaned it pretty well,” he said softly, voice thick in his throat, so thick it was hard to speak. “But…it’s gonna need a stich or two.”

“Or seven,” you said, grabbing the first aid kit sat in the middle of the bed. You opened the bag with shaking hands, taking out the needle and thread. You attempted to begin threading the needle, but with your hands quaking so fiercely you only produced frustrated grunts and sighs. He moved to the front of the bed, the front of his body facing yours, and took the needle and thread from your hands, setting them to the side. He then held your hands in his, squeezing them slightly, before using one to tilt your chin up at him.

He sighed at the storm in your eyes.

“What happened?”

“Did you kick my fucking door down?”

“What happened?”

“I was stupid, that’s what happened.”

He sighed again. “You’ve never once been stupid.”

“Today I was.”

“How?”

“It’s how I always am.” Your voice cracked. “Thought I could pick some apples for Mrs. Lawrence down the street. She always talks about how much she loved that as a kid – a freshly picked apple. Went out too far. Felt a sudden burning in my shoulder and ended up having to take out six hunters all by myself. Six.”

A single tear dripped from your left eye, the gold from the lamps turning it to sunlight.

“I could’ve died. All for a fucking apple.”

You turned away from him again, and it took everything in him not to cup your face in his hands and turn you back to him. He had never seen you like this before. So… raw. Beaten. Trampled. Doused in self-hatred. He hated it.

And yet, he didn’t want to look away. He was slowly realizing that this was the part of you he had been desperate to see. Truth. Undercarriage. Weakness.

Human.

He swallowed, attempting to choose his words carefully. He had never been good with them, attributing his deficiency to a long line of likewise men before him. His brain poured for sonnets, poetry, prose that he had read in his insignificant time on this planet. Something to impress you, distract you, to take away that crestfallen look in your eye.

He couldn’t do it. He never would be. So, he used his mouth for something else.

Slowly, gentler than he ever had in his life, he brought his mouth to your cheekbone. You exhaled a prolonged breath, the heat of it cascading down the left side of his neck. It only prompted him to kiss you more, and more, and more. His lips traveling up into your hairline, across your forehead, down your nose, and finally onto your lips. His kiss there was tongueless, rather a soft press, and yet it meant more to him than any other one you had ever shared.

He could tell by your breathing that you agreed.

He pressed his forehead against yours, swallowing thickly. “I’m glad you didn’t. I don’t know…I don’t know what I would do if you did.”

Your stormy eyes turned into a sunrise, and Joel straightened his aching back to slowly remove his coat and boots. He placed them on the floor beside your bed, keeping his eyes on you the entire time. You watched him just the same, mouth propped open slightly.

He smirked as he set his things down. He then picked up the needle and thread while using his free hand to frame your face.

“I’ll be gentle,” he said, his thumb stroking your chin. “I promise.”

You nodded. “I know you will.”

His lips wanted to meet yours so badly it hurt, but he needed to stitch you. Quickly. For a wound as deep as the one you had, it should have been closed up hours ago.

He wouldn’t think about that now. He couldn’t.

He walked to the edge of the bed and turned you around, leaning you into him slightly to give your pretzeled back some support, and began.

You were surprisingly unreactive when he first inserted the needle, taking it as delicately as he possibly could. It wasn’t until he began to tug the skin together that your body showed signs of pain.

“You’re going too slow,” you mumbled softly after he finished the second stitch. “Please go faster.”

His hands began to shake at your request. He didn’t blame you. Speed would make it hurt worse, but be over with quicker. He squeezed the top of your shoulder in response, threading the needle quickly and stitching over the center of the wound.

You let out a high-pitched whine, gripping onto the comforter at your side, and he couldn’t help but kiss the back of your neck.

He let your breathing steady, then stitched again, this time kissing your shoulder blade.

Another stitch, a kiss across your shoulders.

Another stitch, a kiss down your spine.

Another stitch, a kiss on your lower back.

After every stitch, he planted one. Something in him couldn’t help it.

He made his final stitch and cut the thread quickly, sealing it with a kiss on the side of your face. He tasted a mix of salty tears and heat from your skin. He watched your throat bobble as he moved away, finishing off the wound with a final cleaning. Alcohol and blood filled the air, along with undertones of sweat.

He had a feeling that last aroma came mostly from him.

He threw the needle and thread away into the small garbage can you kept near your bed before turning back to face you. You rested on the balls of your palms, leaning back to look at him as he walked back towards you. There was pain visible behind your eyes, he could see it, but they were coated in something else. Something somehow rawer than before.

“You should rest now,” he said, scruff evident in his voice from lack of use. He cleared it quickly. “You took a hell of a hit.”

You didn’t move. Joel moved to the first aid kit still sitting in the middle of the bed and used the (what had to be decades old) wet wipes on his hands. He tossed those as well, but you still hadn’t moved.

“There somethin’ on my face?”

You cracked a small smile. “Thank you, Joel,” you said quietly.

He hummed. “Don’t mention it.” He then leaned forward and scooped your body into his arms. You involuntarily rested against him, eyes fluttering already, but he set you down beneath your sheets and swiftly pulled them over you.

He laughed at your fight against your own exhaustion, pushing stray hairs away from your forehead. He pulled away from you, beginning to walk out of the room. A fierce grip pulled him backwards.

“Stay,” you mumbled weakly. “Please stay.”

He inhaled deeply. The sweet cocktail of your voice mixed with those words fucking inebriating him, so much so he was surprised he was still standing up straight. He felt physically winded.

He squeezed your hand. “I’ll be right back. Stay down.”

You smiled, loosening your grip, letting your hand fall back into the bed.

Joel walked quietly out of the room but would be the last to admit how he practically sprinted to your kitchen and scoured your cabinets like a man being chased. He found your pain meds, pouring two into his hand, and filling up a small glass of water. He gave a slow, silent jog back to your room.

He felt equally as winded when he caught the view of the setting sun between your windows, glazing over you like a statue in Rome he had once seen on a traveling magazine. The streaks of leftover tears were highlighted in the light, as well as a small crease in your brow.

That is what told him you were not quite yet out cold.

He brought the meds and water to you, tucking your hair behind your ear to alert you of his presence. You opened your eyes and practically inhaled the medicine before laying back down on your side.

Joel removed his shirt in a blink and tucked himself in behind you, ensuring your stitches were not firmly pressed against him, but pressed just enough to ease soreness. You curved into him perfectly, as he did to you. He wrapped his arm around your frame, taking your hands in his and massaging them gently.

You hummed. “Promise you’ll stay?”

He knew your voice like that better than any man in the world.

He pressed a final kiss to your shoulder. “I’m stayin.’”

Tag List: (if you would like to be added please let me know!)

@untitledarea @avengersfan25 @lexloon @daphne-turner @leeeesahhh

#din djarin x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x #joel tlou #joel #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel x reader #joel the last of us #joel and ellie #joel miller x f!reader

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justagalwhowrites · 4 months ago

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Halcyon - Ch. 16: You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do

You and Joel look for Anna and find a new balance in your relationship. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 15, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Unprotected P in V sex. Discussion of drug use and addiction. Mention of parent death Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 10.6k

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“You’re sure this is a good idea?”

You kept your voice low, watching as Joel swayed slowly with Ellie cradled in his arms.

“She’ll be fine,” he said quietly. “C’mon. Would I do anything that would put this sweet little thing in harm’s way?”

You sighed, Joel already ignoring you in favor of your niece. Not that you could blame him. In the two months that you’d been basically living with Joel, Ellie had blossomed. She still had her crying jags and was far from an easy baby - from what you could tell, anyway. But she was eating steadily now that you’d found a formula that didn’t upset her stomach so much and sleeping for three hours at a time overnight. She’d gone from being underweight to having charming rolls of baby fat on her arms and legs and she had this tendency to watch whoever was holding her with an intensity that felt uncommon for a baby. You were sure you were biased but you were certain that she was the smartest baby you’d ever seen. Her gaze was keen as she took everything in, her eyes shifting to a deep, rich chocolate brown and it was hard to not just look at her all the time.

“I’d never let anything happen to you, would I?” Joel said to Ellie, his voice high pitched and lilting. “No I wouldn’t! Uncle Joel loves you so much, yes he does!”

You smiled a little, letting yourself enjoy the sight of your best friend holding the baby who had become the most important person in the world before looking back in the direction of the kitchen where you knew Tommy was putting a mountain of junk food into the fridge and freezer.

“Really, Goldie, it’s fine,” Joel said in his more typical baritone. “Tommy watched Sarah for me all the time when she was a baby, he’s actually great with kids, even tiny ones. She’ll be just fine for a night, I promise. We gotta do this.”

You sighed and then nodded.

“Right,” you said. “You’re right, we do.”

You held your arms out and Joel passed you Ellie before his lips brushed your temple, a motion that had become so commonplace over the last few weeks. You glanced at him quickly, eyes darting, as he pulled away from you and he flinched a little before grabbing your overnight bags and heading for the living room.

That was a commonplace occurrence, too. The flinching when he touched you in some intimate, familiar way that seemed to go beyond the bounds of your previous relationship.

You weren’t sure why he kept doing it. Kissing you, putting his hand on the small of your back when you were near, nuzzling into your hair. He always flinched some after, like these little sparks of closeness were nauseating. You had your theories as to why, of course. He’d told you little of Sarah’s mother but it sounded like she had been around for at least the early days of her daughter’s life. Maybe he was used to these tiny intimacies with a woman he was raising a child alongside, maybe the only way he was used to passing off a baby came with a gentle brush of his lips on skin. Or maybe he thought you needed it, that you were still so fragile even months after you’d shown up on his doorstep with a screaming infant and feeling like you were going to lose yourself if you weren’t careful that he needed to do things like touch you to keep you sane.

But you wished he’d just stop. It didn’t help when you knew how much he apparently loathed it, it just stung. Even tempering it with the knowledge that he apparently cared enough for you to tolerate something he so clearly didn’t enjoy because he thought it was what you needed, it hurt.

You and Joel had struck a delicate - if largely unspoken - balance since that first night. You’d all but moved in, Joel giving you two drawers and a corner of his closet, and you’d put a small bassinet in his room. The two of you took shifts overnight, switching out looking after Ellie when she stirred. Since UT’s school year ended a full month before Sarah’s did, you took over making breakfast and getting her out the door in the morning until she was on summer vacation and - now that summer break was in full swing - you watched her and you took care of Ellie while Joel was at work during the day. For all intents and purposes, you functioned like a couple. In all ways except one: you didn’t have sex again.

You should probably be thankful for that, you knew. It wasn’t like you’d ever say no to him if he’d offered. Even if it destroyed you, you’d always fold the moment he touched you like he wanted you at all. The fact that it hadn’t happened since was a blessing.

You tried to remind yourself of that when you were lying next to him at night and he didn’t touch you that way. Not that you expected him to at all, especially not with Ellie in the room but still. You wanted it. Longed for it. Ached for it, taking full advantage of what little privacy you got when in the shower or when Sarah was at a friend’s house and Ellie was down for a nap to fuck yourself hard and fast until you had to bite your lip to keep from moaning your best friend’s name.

Because it was always Joel you thought of now. He was burned into you that way. The first time you’d ever touched yourself had been to the thought of Joel, back before you knew what kissing him and taking him into yourself would be. It had been a losing battle since you’d moved back to Texas, the proximity bringing him to mind so much faster now. Once you’d started dating Stephen, it felt almost like cheating when you made yourself come to the thought of someone else, even though you’d never talked about being exclusive in any sense, let alone in the world of fantasy. Still, you came hard to the thought of your best friend and dealt with the twinge of guilt after. You’d just hoped you’d be able to set this obsession down if you became serious about someone.

The aftermath of sleeping with Joel again had proved, though, that you were going to be stuck here, feeling like this, for what seemed like forever. You cut things off with Stephen then, using Anna’s vanishing as an excuse to end things. Really, it was just because you couldn’t stomach pretending like it could go anywhere, like you wouldn’t spend your entire relationship wishing he was someone else.

Since then, you’d thrown yourself into anything - everything - else you could use to distract yourself. Beyond caring for Ellie and Sarah, you’d made some progress on your next book, shifting the story to be about a family more than a romantic relationship. You’d helped Joel with a business plan for Miller Construction, the contracting company he was hoping to start. But, most importantly, you’d gotten some idea about where Anna might be.

She was, at least, still alive. You’d been able to track down contact information for her sponsor after meeting her once and hearing Anna mention her first name a few times. Marlene had been reluctant to tell you much at all but did at least tell you that she was checking in with Anna daily. She seemed sober, apparently, and Marlene was encouraging her to seek some help but she hadn’t had any luck yet.

“I shouldn’t tell you this,” she’d sighed when you called a few days earlier. “But she mentioned her ex today. I think she might be with him.”

You’d all but flown into a panic at that, fighting to hold it together as you watched Sarah swim and you held Ellie carefully while you sat on the steps in the shallow end of the pool. Josh Williams was the worst possible fucking influence your sister could have. He’s who got her into drugs in the first place, their love affair had been a whirlwind even in the best of times. What would being around him do to her now, when she was cracking under the weight of motherhood and what you were certain was postpartum depression?

“Goldie, take a breath,” Joel said that night after Sarah was in bed and he’d plied you with a margarita. “Here, gimme…” He held his hands out and you passed him the baby and he beamed at her for a moment, making her giggle, before he turned his attention back to you. “Drink more. Let’s think on it. When things went real bad for her, was she with Josh or was she on her own?”

You sighed and took a sip of margarita.

“On her own,” you said. “She definitely got into trouble with Josh but… he didn’t hurt her. Well, not like that.”

“So she’s probably safe,” Joel said gently. “That’s good, that’s the important thing right now, right?”

“Right,” you nodded and sighed again. “Jesus… So what do we do?”

“Well,” Joel shifted Ellie and she cooed at him before he cooed back as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Lemme just…” He typed something in, pressing a kiss to little Ellie’s cheek as he did. “Alright, looks like that band of his is on tour and they’ll be in Dallas in a few days. We can go, talk to him, see if he knows where she is.”

You nodded slowly, taking another drink.

“If I can talk to her, I can see if I can get her to get some help,” you said. “Or at least come home… Even if we still keep Ellie for a while, if she was at least home…”

“It’s progress, Goldie Girl,” Joel said gently, putting his phone back in his pocket and shifting Ellie again. “It’s a good thing. It is.”

You drank a few margaritas there on his couch, watching Joel with Ellie. He seemed enraptured with her, making faces to pull little gummy smiles out of her chubby features and peppering her with kisses before coaxing her to sleep on his chest.

“C’mon,” he said quietly after a while. “Let’s get this one to bed and then get you to bed. You need it.”

That night was the closest the two of you came to fucking again. You were tipsy enough that Joel had to help keep you from stumbling between the bathroom and the bed, Ellie sleeping soundly in her crib as she had been the last few nights, the distance from her still oddly foreign to you.

“Careful there,” he caught you. “How many’d you have?”

“Enough, apparently,” you tried not to laugh, worried you’d wake up the baby.

“I’ll say,” he said, walking you to the bed and lowering you to the mattress. “Alright, legs in baby.”

You obeyed and he tucked the sheets around you before turning out the light and climbing into bed beside you. You rolled onto your side and nuzzled against him before he’d even gotten settled, making him laugh.

“Forgot what a touchy feely drunk you are,” he teased.

“Shut up,” you said, pressing yourself closer to him all the same. He laughed and then the two of you fit yourselves against each other, your body curving around his.

“Know it’s not the best circumstances,” he said quietly after a minute. “But… I’m glad you’re here. That you’re not tryin’ to do this shit alone.”

“Me too,” you said, moving somehow closer to him. His hold on you tightened, his nose nuzzling into your hair. Your lips ghosted over the warm skin of his throat. He groaned a little and your leg hitched over his thigh. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you ground your hips against him.

“Goldie,” he said, a little breathless, pulling back from you enough to look you in the eye. “We… we shouldn’t…”

You groaned in a way that was closer to a whine and his forehead dropped to yours.

“You’re drunk,” he whispered.

“Not that drunk,” you whispered back.

“Drunk enough,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “This… you still want this in the morning? We can talk about it. Or just forget about it. Whatever you want, but we can’t right now.”

You fell asleep before too long, feeling achy and needy as you did, and woke up still in Joel’s arms with dawn slipping through the slats of his blinds. Joel was already awake, his large palm resting on the crown of your head, his thumb brushing a gentle trail over your forehead. You looked at him for a moment, memorizing the planes of his face, the scruff on his cheeks, the way his hair was mussed first thing in the morning.

“She still asleep?” You asked quietly, eventually.

“Yeah,” he said, just as quiet. “Don’t know that she’s ever slept this late but checked the monitor a little while ago, she’s still breathin’…”

“That’s good,” you smiled a little. Your stomachs were pressed together, your t-shirt had ridden up in the night so your skin was against his and he was so warm, the heat of him seeping out and spreading over you.

“Goldie…” he whispered, his face drawn and so close to yours and your heart lurched in your chest. “I can’t…”

Ellie’s sharp little cry made you both jump, like you’d forgotten for a moment about the little life in the next room that was completely dependent on the two of you.

“I got ‘er,” Joel said, quickly pulling himself from you and all but running to Ellie’s room.

The two of you didn’t talk about it again.

You carried Ellie to the kitchen, Sarah perched on a counter as Tommy made a huge plate of nachos.

“And we can watch movies and stay up late and…”

“Just because I’m gonna be out of town for a night don’t mean that all the rules are out the window, baby girl,” Joel said, a small smile on his face all the same.

“Hey,” Tommy said. “How late she stays up and what junk food we eat while she does it is none of your concern when you ain’t here, old man.”

“Yeah Dad,” Sarah smirked, leaning over and swiping a chip from Tommy’s plate. “You leave Uncle Tommy in charge? You get what you get.”

“Lord,” Joel sighed, still smiling. “Such a bad influence on my kid…”

“S’why you love me,” Tommy smirked before winking at you. “Alright, let me see the tiny one, c’mon.”

You gave Ellie a kiss on her chubby cheek before passing her off to Tommy and he beamed at her.

“There’s the cutest baby in the world,” he held her with his large hands around her waist, lifting her to blow a raspberry as best he could on her onesie covered stomach. Ellie giggled and he held her to his chest. “There, now I got the important stuff all set. You two get out of here, try to have fun…”

“Not goin’ for fun,” Joel said, almost like a reprimand.

“I know,” Tommy said, still calm. “But still. You two have had your hands full lately. Have a damn drink at least.”

You stepped in before Joel had a chance to try to pick a fight with his brother.

“You know how to hold her when she has her bottle?” You asked. “And where the extra diapers are in case the ones in the changing table drawers run out? And…”

“I got ‘er,” Tommy said gently. “And I got your numbers if I need ‘em. Which I won’t.”

You nodded, not fully able to shake the knot that had settled in your stomach at the thought of leaving Ellie with anyone but yourself or Joel. At the thought of being alone with Joel, no buffer of Ellie or Sarah that had been there ever since you’d slept together again.

“Thank you for doin’ this,” Joel said earnestly. “It means a lot.”

“One day, I’ll have kids and I’ll need you to watch ‘em when I want to get my girl out of town,” Tommy said. “Better believe I’m cashing in.”

You and Joel stopped at a gas station on the way out of town, filling up your car and grabbing snacks from the convenience store and delaying the inevitable awkward silence when the two of you were alone with nothing else to distract you.

It felt like the two of you were halfway to fucking Waco when Joel finally spoke.

“You think she’ll be there?” He asked.

You sighed.

“I don’t know. I hope so, I hope we can get to her and that she’ll listen and…”

You ground your teeth for a moment before looking over to him. Joel was driving - it never mattered that it was your car, Joel always drove, it had been like that even when you were teenagers - and there was something so reassuring about him being behind the wheel.

“Is this stupid?” You asked. “Am I going about this the wrong way?”

He glanced over to you, looking you up and down before turning his eyes back to the road.

“I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do this,” he said after a moment. “It’s… it’s a shit situation. I just don’t want you gettin’ your hopes up too much is all.”

“They’re not,” you said quickly. “God, even if she is there, it’s still going to be a fucking mess…”

“It is,” Joel said. “But you’ll help her through it. You’re real good at that shit.”

You scoffed.

“What?” He said. “You are. You’ve been doin’ a great job, Goldie girl. That’s not going to change because Anna actually comes back - or doesn’t.”

You nodded slowly, looking out the window again, trying not to think about whether you were more afraid that Anna would be at the concert tonight or that she wouldn’t be.

“Think you’re ready to throw a pool party for a bunch of preteen girls?” You asked, giving him a little smile.

“Lord,” he laughed once. “No. But thanks for helpin’ plan it all the same. Sarah’s so damn excited, rivals the fuckin’ concert…”

“Your list is coming along,” you smiled a little wider him.

“Speaking of our lists,” he teased, glancing your way. “How’s that book of yours comin’ along?”

“Good, shockingly enough,” you said. “You’re in this one, too. Well, kind of you, it’s not like I named the character Joel but…”

“I am?” He asked, brows raised. You nodded and then he frowned. “Wait, too? What do you mean, too?”

Your face fell before you could stop it, your eyes going wide.

“Goldie,” he said, glancing toward you. “What’d you mean, too? Was I in your first book?”

“OK, don’t start that,” you said. “Come on, I… Look, alright? My first book was more of a coming of age thing and you were my best friend so… yeah, OK, you might have influenced a character a little. Just a bit. That’s all, it’s nothing crazy…”

Your heart was racing but Joel just smiled, broad enough that it made the corners of his eyes crinkle.

“Didn’t know I meant so much to you, Goldie Girl,” he teased.

“Don’t read into it,” you rolled your eyes. “Literally, please don’t read it…”

“Pretty sure it’s above my reading level, anyway,” he winked.

You glared at him.

“I hate you,” you said.

“I know,” he smiled, glancing over at you. “S’why we get along so well.”

The two of you fell into your usual, comfortable familiarity after that, joking and laughing and singing along to the songs from the playlist Joel made for the drive, you trying to forget about the fact that you were only making this drive to try to save your sister from herself.

The room Joel had booked for you this time was not nearly as nice as the one from the Taylor Swift weekend - not that you were arguing. Putting the two of you in one hotel room right now felt like tempting fate as it was, let alone one that could be mistaken for romantic. But still, you were disappointed when he opened the motel door to a room with two queen sized beds instead of just one king.

“Figured you could use some space from me since we don’t gotta listen to a baby monitor all night,” Joel said, carrying the bags in. He dropped your duffle on the bed furthest from the door and checked his watch. “Should probably head out in about an hour if you want to get something to eat first…”

You nodded, fidgeting with your necklace, feeling Joel’s eyes on you.

“Well,” Joel said, his voice a little awkward. “Think I’ll… I’ll just… take a nap. Keep my eyes closed. So you can get changed and shit if you need.”

“Right,” you smiled tightly. “Thanks.”

“Yup,” he said, lying flat on his back on his bed, his forearm over his eyes as you started going through your bag.

You checked in with Tommy, already missing Ellie, before you got changed into something that was good for a rock concert. Well, you thought it was, anyway - this was always your sister’s territory - and did your hair and makeup so that you had a shot of trying to talk your way backstage to talk to Josh. Hopefully. Maybe.

When you gently shook Joel awake he stared at you for a moment, blinking with a look on his face that you couldn’t quite place.

“You really passed out,” you teased, fighting that awkward feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Yeah,” he shook his head quickly, like he was shaking off the sleep. “Guess so. C’mon Goldie, let’s go see if we can find Anna.”

***

There had to be more Joel could be doing to help you. He was sure there was something he was fucking missing because there had to be something he could do beyond twiddling his fucking thumbs, waiting in line to get into a small concert venue in Dallas on a Saturday night.

You were twisting your hands around on themselves, lower lip between your teeth as you tried to peer around the line as though you’d have any chance of seeing any of the bands right now.

“Is this dumb?” You asked eventually, looking at Joel with wide eyes. “I’m worried this is a stupid fucking idea…”

“How else were you gonna get ahold of the guy?” He asked gently. “You didn’t have his number, it’s not like you can find him in the damn phonebook. You came to him. It’s what you had to do. You have to try, right?”

You took a deep, shaky breath and nodded.

“Right,” you said. “You’re right.”

The words didn’t match your expression, still worrying your lip between your teeth, still knotting your fingers and Joel wondered yet again what the fuck he was missing. It had to be something, there had to be something he could do to make your life easier because, fuck, why was he even here if he couldn’t?

Ever since you’d all but moved into his house, you’d done nothing but improve his life. Sure, you came with an infant and she was nothing if not a challenge but Joel liked having another kid around to take care of. Thrived on it, really. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed Sarah’s newborn days until he was faced with Ellie’s.

Joel had been so alone then, drowning in the state of his life, in his new identity as Sarah’s father, in the weight of the future heavy in his hands whenever he held his baby girl. It had been hard to really enjoy that time. He knew he’d want to remember it, the way her little legs tucked up into her stomach and the way her nose scrunched when she first woke up - something she still did now if he woke her up abruptly from a deep enough sleep - but it had been a conscious thing. Remember it because he should, because he knew he’d want to keep these parts of his daughter close, not because it came naturally.

He wondered, sometimes, in hindsight, if there was something wrong with him for that. If he wasn’t a good enough father because his mind had been elsewhere in his daughter’s earliest days, if some vital piece of him was broken because he hadn’t taken naturally to that part of fatherhood even though he loved her more than he realized any human being could love another.

With Ellie, though, he knew he wasn’t broken. He’d just been so overwhelmed by everything else that the best parts of fatherhood hadn’t found their way to him yet. Now, though, it seemed like he had everything he needed. There was Sarah, you, a new little life that needed care and guidance and love. He felt like he had purpose and so much of that was thanks to you.

And of course, once you came into yourself again with Ellie, you’d started doing what you always did: make things better. Of course, you just being there would have made things better. But you stepped right into loving his daughter like she was your own. He’d come home from a job site and find you in the yard with the girls, a makeshift soccer goal set up, Ellie in her bouncer in the shade, you in the goal to give Sarah a chance to practice shooting.

“Dad, look!” She’d yell before Joel even got the door all the way open on the truck.

“I’m watchin’,” he’d smile and look over her head to you and you’d give him a wink. And he did watch as Sarah dribbled the ball toward you and faked out her kick, making you go one way while the ball went the other.

“See?” She beamed, her smile huge. “I’m going to score so many goals next season!”

“You really are,” he kissed her forehead. “Great job, baby girl!”

You helped him with his business plan. You gave him an audience while he practiced playing guitar with a plan to go talk to Jimmy and see if he’d let him play at the bar again, like he did when he was young. You’d kick him playfully as the two of you sat on opposite ends of the couch with your legs overlapping his in the middle, just like you had when you were kids. You made him dinner and made him laugh and made him want to kiss you so bad he wondered if it was possible to explode with wanting.

You did so much for him. Why couldn’t he figure out a goddamn way to give it back to you?

The venue finally opened and you laced your fingers with Joel’s as you worked your way through the press of people, trying to make it close to the stage.

“This is so weird,” you said, looking back over your shoulder to Joel, standing at your back. “What do we do? Dance? Pretend this is a regular concert? Do we get a beer?”

“If you want a beer, Goldie, I’ll get you one,” Joel smiled a little. “I think it’s fine if we just stand here until they come on and try and get his attention when they do. But… well, if you feel like you can have a good time, I think you should.”

Your face pinched at that, like you thought maybe you shouldn’t even consider something as insignificant as your own happiness.

“Think this’ll be easier with a drink,” he said, making an executive decision. Maybe having fun when trying to track down your sister when she was fuck knows where and left you with her infant daughter was insane but fuck it, being miserable while doing it wasn’t making it any easier. “Be back.”

You looked like you were about to protest but he slipped away from you and into the people starting to press into the pit, working his way against the flow of bodies to the bar. He got himself a whiskey soda and you a vodka sour because that’s what you’d get with your fake ID when the two of you would sneak into places like this when you were kids. He smiled a little, thinking about that as he went to find you again, how you’d pretended like it wasn’t really breaking the rules since you were just helping Joel do research for how to break into the music business. You’d smile at him, your eyes so bright from the stage lights and say “Someday, that’ll be you up there” and he thought - even then - that you might be the best thing he’d ever seen.

Joel was working his way back through the crowd to you, living in that time long past for a moment, when he saw you toward the front of the pit. But he didn’t have a chance to really enjoy the sight of you all decked out in your concert clothes. Instead, there was a man next to you, his hand on the small of your back as you leaned away from him and Joel’s blood got hot.

“…just for a little while,” the man was saying, trying to step closer to you.

“No thanks,” you said, your tone sharp.

“C’mon, we’ll get you a drink and…”

“Hey,” Joel said, stopping right behind the man, crowding his space. The guy was tall but not as tall as Joel and he had to tilt his head back to look him in the face. “You botherin’ my girl?”

The man’s eyes darted to you before going back to Joel.

“She didn’t…” the man began before puffing himself up, straightening his spine as much as he could. But the top of his head still only reached Joel’s eyes and he quickly deflated. “Look man, all she had to do was say she had a boyfriend and I would’ve backed off, alright? Think your problem is with your girl…”

“No,” Joel said, jaw tight. “My problem’s with you. Don’t matter if she’s got a boyfriend or not, she says she ain’t interested? She ain’t interested. Learn some fuckin’ respect. Or do you need me to teach you?”

The man looked Joel up and down, like he was weighing his chances. Joel just stood his ground. He wasn’t about to let this asshole just touch you without permission. An excuse to hit him would be welcome.

“Fuckin’ asshole,” the guy muttered, turning to go. Joel watched him leave before turning back to you and handing you your drink.

“You alright?” He asked.

“Fine,” you said, watching him closely. “Thank you for that. He just was not backing off. I forgot what it’s like to go to places like this and deal with guys like that…”

“Shouldn’t have to deal with guys like that,” Joel said, clenching his jaw. “Fuckin’ asshole should know how to take a no. But probably shouldn’t leave you unattended again, apparently the second I walk away some jackass swoops in…”

You laughed a little and rolled your eyes as the crowd started cheering and you turned to face the stage as the opener came out. Joel slipped his hand around your waist to your stomach, his fingers splaying wide over the satin fabric of your shirt and he wanted to touch the silk of your skin below and he tried not to think about that. He tugged you back against him and you frowned, looking over your shoulder to him.

“To be safe,” he said in your ear. “Keep other assholes’ hands off ya.”

You smiled a little and Joel held you close as the first two bands played, your back pressed tightly against his front. The more of your cocktail you drank, the more you moved almost absently to the music and Joel had to focus to not get lost in you.

It was easier to remember exactly what the two of you were doing here when the headlining band - Josh’s band - took the stage. The crowd became deafening when they came out and you grabbed Joel’s arm when the guitarist jogged to his place under the lights.

“That’s Josh!” You yelled over your shoulder to Joel.

He evaluated the man quickly. Your brother-in-law was on the other side of the stage, stocky and shorter than Joel’d expected him to be, in ripped jeans and a tight gray t-shirt, a guitar strapped across his body. He lifted the neck of it and played the first chord, the lead singer running out and taking the mic.

“C’mon,” Joel said, keeping his grip on you and trying to guide you through the crush of people toward the other side of the stage, hoping that Josh would see you and recognize you in the crowd. “Try and get closer.”

It took some time, a few songs passing before the two of you could make it over there and even then, getting to the very front of the pit was basically impossible, fans pressed tight to the barricades and reaching for the band.

Still, it didn’t stop you from trying to get his attention, your arms up over your head and screaming his name. When he thought the set might be winding down and Josh still hadn’t acknowledged you, Joel started looking for where to take you to try to get back stage and, when the band left the stage and you deflated, he took your hand.

“C’mon,” he said. “Think we can try and get to ‘em this way…”

He tugged you along behind him, keeping a tight hold on you as he led you to a side door. He jiggled the handle but it was locked.

“Shit,” you swore, looking back to where people were leaving.

“Any security?” Joel asked, voice low.

You frowned and looked around for a moment.

“No, but…”

He grimaced but forced the handle down with all his weight, the old lock popping.

“Did you just break the door?” You asked quietly, brows raised.

Joel shrugged.

“You gotta do what you gotta do,” he said, ushering you through it and quickly pulling it shut behind him.

“Now where?” You whispered it even though there was no one around to hear you.

“Uh,” he looked around, trying to remember where he thought the green rooms would be as he looked down the hall. “This way, I think.”

He led you down the cinderblock passage, things getting louder as he did - a good sign, he thought. And then, he turned a corner and walked smack into a security guard.

“Sorry,” Joel said quickly, tucking you behind him and hoping the guy would forget it and move on.

No such luck.

“You two supposed to be back here?” The guard asked, looking you and Joel up and down. “Show me your passes.”

“We don’t have any,” you said, stepping out from behind Joel before he could stop you. “But I’m trying to talk to Josh Williams from Shine Anthem, he’s my brother-in-law and…”

“Don’t really give a shit who you say you are,” the guard said, reaching for Joel. “You can’t just come back here so I’m going to have to ask you to…”

Joel was trying to figure out some kind of plan when he heard your name being called from behind you and then the man from the stage was there, running up and damn near tackling you, bending low to tuck his shoulder into your chest so he could lift you into a hug as you yelped.

He put you down quickly, though, a broad smile on his face and a glassy look in his eyes.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming!” He beamed, looking you up and down. “Should’ve called! I’d have gotten you tickets and passes and shit instead of you hangin’ out out there with everyone else!”

“Well, it’s not like I had your number,” you said, a little incredulous as Josh leaned around you to the guard.

“They’re good,” Josh said to him. “This is my girl’s sister! She never fuckin’ visits, this is great!”

You turned to Joel, a look of almost total disbelief on your face as Josh threw an arm around your shoulders and started guiding you down the hall. Joel just shrugged at the security guard and followed, you looking back over your shoulder to make sure he was still there.

“She didn’t say anything about you coming, either,” he said, an almost odd familiarity to his tone. From what Joel knew, you’d only spent a little time with your sister��s husband, it wasn’t as though the two of you were close. “Could’ve called her, too! She can always get ahold of me, always answer the phone for that girl…”

“Have you seen her?” You asked. “Because…”

“Seen her?” He laughed. “She’s here! It’s like old times, s’been great! God I love that girl. She’s with the guys right now, nice to have her around again…”

“She’s here?” You stopped and turned to stare at him. “Right now?”

“Yeah!” He said brightly. “This is great, a regular family reunion! She’ll be so excited to see you, she’s always saying she wishes you’d come back home more. Who’s this guy, by the way? Not your husband, he’s that old dude, right?”

“This is my friend Joel,” you said quickly before trying to refocus him. “Josh, I need to see Anna. Right now.”

“Alright, alright,” he said, stopping outside a heavy metal door and turning to Joel. “You party? Because we can do shit up, I know this one’s not usually down but…”

“We’re not here to fucking party, Josh!” You snapped. “I need to see Anna! Right now!”

“OK!” He put his hands up and gave Joel a look as if to say ‘women, right?’ before opening the door. “She’s right here.”

The space was smaller than Joel had been expecting. Maybe he had idealized expectations for a rockstar’s green room since he’d once dreamed of being one but this one was small, with a few couches that were crowded with people, the air clouded with acrid smoke so thick he couldn’t help but cough.

“Ahhh!” Anna threw her arms in the air in glee from the corner of one of the couches, where she was perched on the lap of some other band member. “My sister’s here! Look, guys, it’s my big sister!”

Joel clenched his jaw and looked over to you, ready to help you if you needed it. The look on your face was hard for him to place, your expression so strangely foreign. Of all the faces Joel knew, he knew yours maybe best of all - Sarah the only exception. He knew how you looked when you were lost in thought, when you were about to cry, when you were coming, when you laughed so hard you cried. But you were so rarely angry that he didn’t recognize it, not at first.

But your eyes narrowed and your hands curled into fists at your sides and for a moment, just a moment, Joel thought you were going to scream.

But you didn’t. Instead, you steeled yourself and marched purposefully, forcefully, over to your sister.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You asked, standing over her. “This is what you’re doing? You’re here, partying with your ex-husband and the guys you used to fuck around with while I’m home with your daughter?”

The room had gone silent, Anna staring up at you with wide eyes.

“Daughter?” Josh said quietly and Joel looked over at him. He was staring at Anna in disbelief and disappointment. “Wait, you had a kid? When…”

“You didn’t even tell him?” You scoffed at her. “Of course you wouldn’t, why would you? Why would you ever consider anyone but yourself in your decision making process? You never have before! Hell, you never even really think of yourself, do you? Not your future self, not the person you really need to be worried about because if you did, you wouldn’t be fucking high right now!”

“I’m not high!” She got up quickly, stumbling a little as she did.

“Bullshit you’re not high,” you snapped. “Look at you!”

“I’m not…” She lowered her voice, as though that would make much difference in a room as quiet and small as this one. “It’s just some pot, OK? It’s not like…”

“Oh, because you’re not snorting anything or injecting anything, it doesn’t count?” You asked, brows raised, incredulous. “Because this isn’t the first step to you ending up back in the hospital after you OD again or worse, just dead somewhere?”

“You ODed?” Josh said weakly, going over to her, running his fingers through her hair. “Baby, you never told me this, why didn’t you tell me this?”

“It was last year,” she said. “You were touring, it wasn’t that bad…”

“She almost died,” you said to Josh. “And she had been sober until you came along, so congratulations on dragging her down yet again.”

You turned your attention back to your sister.

“Were you ever planning on coming home?” You asked. “Or were you going to just party like a goddamn teenager without a care in the world until you wound up dead?”

Anna just stared down at her hands and you shook your head.

“I should have fucking known.”

You stalked off without another word, slamming the door behind you as you went.

The room was awkwardly silent for a moment, Josh looking at Joel apologetically.

“I didn’t know,” he said quietly, his eyes wide, all the casual familiarity gone. Instead, he was almost uncomfortably earnest and almost sad. “I never would have… I didn’t know.”

Joel looked back toward the door for a moment before he sighed and looked at Josh again.

“We’re here ’til the morning,” he said. “Gimme your phone.”

Josh handed it over and Joel typed his number into a text message before sending himself a message that had the name and address of the hotel you were at with the room number. He gave the phone back before he turned to Anna.

“She loves you,” Joel said. “And she loves Ellie. You should come home.”

She sniffed but just turned her head, looking away from him.

“Right,” Joel said. “Well… Should know Ellie misses you. And we’ll be at that hotel until 11 a.m. tomorrow.”

He had to run to catch up with you, finding you standing outside with tears in your eyes as you paced.

“Hey,” Joel said and you looked at him, quickly drying your eyes on the insides of your wrists. “You alright?”

“No,” you sniffed. “No, I just fucked everything up, I shouldn’t have done that, who knows what…”

“Hey,” Joel cut you off, pulling you into his chest. “S’OK.”

“Easy for you to say,” you said, voice muffled by his shirt.

He sighed, holding you for a moment, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“C’mon,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “Let’s go back to the hotel. Pick up some beer on the way.”

You checked in with Tommy on the way and Joel tried to keep his distance from you once the two of you got back to the hotel room and you’d calmed down a little. He’d gotten the two damn beds for a reason and it wasn’t because he wanted to be apart from you. It was because he knew that things between the two of you had gotten too close since you’d shown up on his doorstep with Ellie in your arms. Even if the sex had never happened, it was too much like being with you, going through life with you the way he had been. It couldn’t continue, not without destroying him.

So Joel stayed on his bed and you stayed on yours, a six pack on the night stand in the middle and he cursed the pretext of it. The space was smart, he knew that. But goddamn, couldn’t he just hold you as long as you’d let him? Couldn’t he just live in that liminal place for as long as he could manage it? Wouldn’t the damage be worth it in the end if he did? He didn’t know. He just stayed on his bed, finding some stupid action movie with a bad TV edit to put on, one where the dialogue choices were bad enough that you were laughing so hard that you spilled beer on your bedspread.

“Oh shit,” you swore, putting the now nearly empty bottle on the nightstand and jumping up to run to the bathroom and grab towels. Joel joined you, mopping up the mess as best you could. “God, so much for having one night where I don’t end up covered in something. If it’s not spit-up at home it’s beer here…”

“At least this didn’t end up in your hair,” Joel smiled a little and you laughed.

“Yeah, thank god for small miracles. And at least it’s just my bed so you don’t have to deal with it, too.”

“You don’t need to deal with it, either,” he said before he even thought about it. “You can just sleep in my bed.”

Not that he really needed to think about it.

“You don’t need to do that,” you waved him off. “I’ve already taken over half your bed at home, you deserve your space. I’ll be fine sleeping in spilled beer for a night.”

“Goldie, c’mon,” he said, realizing just how close he was standing to you. How easy it would be to kiss you. “This ain’t some frat house, not about to just make you sleep in that shit.”

You bit your lower lip, uncertain, and he had to fight the urge to tug that soft flesh from between your teeth. He wanted to bite that lip, kiss it, run his thumb over it.

“What?” He asked, desire edging into his voice whether he wanted it to or not.

“What about distance?” You asked quietly, breathily.

“Distance is overrated,” he said, tightening his hold on the towels so he wouldn’t grab you and kiss you the way he was so fucking desperate to do.

He tried to make himself calm down in the few minutes you were in the bathroom, getting changed into pajamas and setting the beer-soaked towels out to dry. He wished he could jerk off because that might be the only thing that actually put him back inside his own goddamn head for a moment. Maybe he could once you were asleep, just lock himself in the bathroom and fuck his hand to the memory of you and try to keep your name off his tongue when he came.

But that wouldn’t help now as he watched you cross the room in the little shorts and tank top you’d brought to sleep in, all but mesmerized by the bounce of your breasts when free of your bra when you walked or the way the soft cotton of your bottoms just skimmed the edge of your ass and he could see the swell of flesh there, almost out of sight, almost out of reach, close enough to tempt but far enough to not belong to him.

“I really didn’t mean to put you out again,” you said as you climbed into bed beside him. “I really didn’t mean to the first time, either… In case I haven’t said it, I think I owe you my life for everything you’ve done for me and Ellie. I would have drowned in this alone.”

“You’re not putting me out, Goldie girl,” he said, smiling a little. “Hell, it’s been nice, having the two of you around. Sarah’s been beggin’ me for a little sister since she could talk, think this is the closest she’s getting for a while…”

You laughed a little and then sighed, leaning your head back against the headboard.

“How bad do you think I fucked up with Anna?” You asked, watching him.

He sighed.

“I dunno… S’not like I know much about addiction or what she’s going through right now. But I can’t say I blame you for what you said. She knows you love her, that you want what’s best for her.”

You sighed and looked down at your hands, picking at your thumbnail for a moment.

“She’s the one who found our mom, did I ever tell you that?”

“No,” Joel said quietly, watching you closely.

“She did,” you nodded at your hands. “I can’t imagine what that would have been like for her. I only saw Mom after the funeral home had her, I didn’t have to… I wasn’t there for Anna after that. It’s no wonder she dropped out, found trouble, tried to take care of shit with drugs…”

“That’s not on you,” Joel said.

“Isn’t it?” You looked at him. “I was the big sister, I was who she had and I left her to cope with it alone and the first time I try to actually help her with something, I fuck that up, too.”

“You were young,” Joel said. “Basically a kid.”

“I was 20 years old,” you replied. “I was old enough to have a fiance and a career path and a life away from here. I could have moved back, I could have stepped up, I could have done something but I just…”

“It’s not your job to take care of everybody, baby,” he said gently.

“What if I fucked up so bad this time that she doesn’t come back?” You whispered. “What if she leaves Ellie with me forever and I can’t do it and…”

You sniffed and looked back at your hands, a tear slipping down your cheek and Joel just tugged you against him, tucking you against his chest, kissing the crown of your head.

“We’ll deal with it,” he said, tracing his fingertips along your hairline soothingly. “Whatever happens, I’ve got you. It’s OK.”

You nodded wetly into his chest and he held you like that for a while, your body slowly molding to his until you were soft and warm and pressed entirely against him and your tears slowed.

“You doin’ better?” He asked eventually and you nodded against him, sitting up and sniffling a little. He smiled, reaching out and trying your tears with a swipe of his thumb, your cheek fitting against his palm. “See? Not so bad.”

“No,” you smiled a little back. “It’s not.”

Your eyes were on his and he was so close to you, so close that he could almost touch your nose with his.

So he did, moving ever so slightly closer so your skin was brushing his own. Your breath hitched when he did and instead of finding relief in the contact, it stoked a fire he hadn’t realized was burning, low and hot and sure, inside him.

“Joel,” you breathed. “Please…”

“It’s OK Goldie girl,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.”

He kissed you then, the concept of distance so far at the back of his mind as he did, the spearmint of your toothpaste tinged with hops from the beer on your breath.

It was hesitant at first. He wasn’t sure if it was just him holding back or if you were, too, but all pretense was gone almost immediately. You were twisting in the sheets, moving to face him, to put your arms around his neck and press yourself closer to him as his hands ranged over you, trying to touch as much of you as he could reach before you slipped through his fingers yet again.

He pulled at your clothes, your mouth separating from his only long enough to get your shirts off, and you moaned into him, fingers fumbling with his pants, pulling the waistband down to free his already hard and aching cock. He palmed you through your shorts, your cunt so hot and wet he could feel it through the fabric and if he thought too long about what being inside you would feel like, he was going to come before he even had a chance to fuck you.

Your hand wrapped around his length and you started working him, making him groan and you seemed hellbent on trying to move closer to him somehow, practically squirming as you worked yourself against his hand while pulling yourself toward him.

“I’ve got you baby,” he said, breathless, as he tugged your shorts down, watching with rapt attention as your skin was revealed to him. You were glistening between your thighs and he groaned at the sight, tossing your shorts and panties aside before he teased your little, swollen clit.

“Fuck,” you panted, closing your eyes for a moment. “Holy… I need…”

“What?” He asked after a moment, working your clit harder. “What do you need, baby?”

“You inside me,” your eyes opened again, your pupils blown. Your hips moved almost of their own accord against him and he moaned. “Please Joel, please, fuck, it hurts, I need…”

“Take what you need,” he said, cock aching so bad he thought he might explode with hit.

You just nodded before moving to straddle him. He sat back against the headboard and took your waist in his hands as your dripping slit brushed against his leaking head, his hips involuntarily jerking up toward you at the temptation of you there, hot and wet and wanting.

Your eyes met his - so wide and vulnerable - before you lined him up with your grasping entrance and took him inside yourself in one, swift motion,

He gasped at the feeling of it, how your velvet tightness made room for him inside of you, how your walls stretched over him, how you were so warm and soft inside, your wetness already making a mess of him.

“Fuck, you feel good,” he breathed, watching you closely. “So goddamn good…”

You just gave him a strangled little moan as you looked down between your bodies to where he was entering you, panting for breath. You rolled your hips against him, slowly and deliberately at first, pulling a groan from him that made him thankful you were in some shitty hotel room and not home where his daughter would hear him because he didn’t think he could stop it if he tried. He didn’t want to stop it. He wanted to let himself get lost in you and your body and your pleasure until the only thought left in his mind was you.

You started to ride him in earnest then, your pace increasing, your clit finding his pubic bone and grinding against him there as he thrust up into you, finding those deep, soft places inside your tight heat, places that made your channel start to flutter over him in little shocks of pleasure.

He watched as you stifled your moan as he hit one of those places inside of you and he pressed there deeper, harder, holding you to him for a moment before his thumb moved to your clit, working you in tight circles.

“Want to hear you, baby,” he panted before kissing and sucking at the tender skin of your throat. “Don’t gotta be quiet here, lemme hear you.”

You nodded quickly, desperately, and his hands ran up your back as you arched into him, fingers digging into your flesh, guiding you over him as you rode him hard and fast and he met you stroke for stroke. You moaned, your body tightening around him and he took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing and turning your moan into a needy little cry.

“That’s it baby,” he panted against your skin. “Just take it. Come for me, make yourself come on my cock, c’mon.”

Your movements became faster, more uncertain, your pussy so tight around him it would probably hurt in any other context but because it was you, like this, it was heaven.

“Joel!” You cried, burying him deep inside as you exploded around him, your muscles throbbing over him. He held you close and tight and drank in the sight and sound of your pleasure for a moment before giving over to his own, coming hard and deep inside of you, rope after seemingly endless rope of his spend spilling into you.

He held you close and tight like that as the two of you came back down from your shared high, buried inside you where it felt so much like he belonged he thought his heart might burst with it.

Eventually, you sat back from him, your eyes searching his for a moment, a hint of panic at the edges. He ignored the sting in his chest that came with that and instead just cupped your cheek.

“It’s OK baby,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.”

You just watched him for another moment before you nodded and slowly, gently, pulled yourself away from him, settling against him on the bed.

He had the fleeting thought that he should go, get a washcloth, clean the two of you up but he couldn’t bring himself to move, afraid if he lost this closeness with you now he might never get it back. Instead, he stayed there, trailing his fingers up and down your bare arm as he held you.

“What are we doing?” You asked quietly, eventually. “We can’t keep doing this, Joel, we have responsibilities, we’re not teenagers anymore, there are kids involved now, we….”

“Why do we have to be doing something?” He asked, adjusting so he could actually look at you.

You pulled back from him, frowning a little.

“What?”

“Why can’t we just…” he paused, trying to find the words. Words he shouldn’t say but that he couldn’t seem to stop. “We’re basically living together. We have so much else goin’ on right now it’s not like we’re dating anyone. Why don’t we just…”

He trailed off, hoping you’d fill in the rest.

“Do you mean like…” You paused. “Friends with benefits or something?”

“Yeah,” he said, even though calling you that felt so wrong that it was something like blasphemy. “Then we can just… do this when we need it. Don’t need to be a big deal, it can just…”

“Right,” you said, looking from his face to his chest before nodding. “Yeah… That… we can try that. As long as you promise it won’t ruin things with us. I can’t lose you again, Joel. I just can’t.”

“I know, baby,” he said quietly, kissing your forehead. “Can’t lose you, either.”

“OK,” you said softly, nuzzling closer. “Friends.”

“With benefits,” he said.

“With benefits,” you said.

The term felt so wrong that it took time to settle in him, reducing what he felt for you to something as simple as just friendship with sex. But there was something hopeful in him, too. Something that clung, vicious and hard, to the thought that he could have this with you, live in that place between worlds where he could pretend that you were his when he came home to you because he got to fit himself inside you every night. This, he thought, would be worth the destruction.

He tried to dwell on the comfort of that as the two of you got packed the next morning, moving slowly but in sync with each other in the small room, one bed stained with beer and the other your indiscretions.

Joel had given up hope that Anna would show - glad he hadn’t told you that he’d given Josh the room number so you wouldn’t be let down by it - when he carried your bags to the car in the morning but froze when he saw your brother-in-law standing outside an Uber, his arms crossed, watching the hotel room door. Joel just gave him a nod before going to put the bags in the trunk, Josh meeting him there.

“Didn’t think you were comin’,” Joel said, closing the lid with a little too much force.

Josh nodded slowly, staring at Joel’s feet.

“Needed to talk things through with her first,” he said before meeting his eyes. “I didn’t know any of that shit, swear I didn’t. If I did, I wouldn’t have… I guess it doesn’t matter. I talked with her. She told me everything. I think everything, anyway.”

Joel just nodded, giving him a chance to continue on his own terms.

“I’m not good for her right now,” he said. “Shit, probably never was but I’m smart enough to know better now and I love her too much to let her get hurt because of me.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” Joel asked. “Because saying that kind of shit don’t mean much if you just keep letting it happen.”

“You’re right,” Josh said. “She’s in the car. She agreed to go home with you guys and go to rehab. Back to rehab, I guess.”

Joel nodded again, looking toward the car, just making out the outline of Anna sitting in the back through the tinted window.

“You’re doing the right thing,” Joel said.

“Is she here?” Josh asked. Joel jerked his thumb toward the hotel room but Josh shook his head. “Not… I mean the baby. Ellie? Is she here?”

“No,” Joel said. “She’s home, with my brother. He’s takin’ good care of her, he watched my daughter plenty when she was Ellie’s age.”

Josh clenched his jaw but nodded anyway.

“Probably for the best,” he said. “I’m not… I should figure my own shit out before I meet her. But I want to. I will. I’m going to.”

Joel wasn’t sure he believed him but then, he’d done plenty to try to make himself worthy of being Sarah’s dad. Maybe Josh had it in him, too.

“Joel, do you have the…”

You fell silent as you came up beside him, one hand in your bag like you were looking for something, your mouth open in shock when you realized who he was standing with.

“Hey sis,” Josh smiled awkwardly.

“Hey,” you said quietly, eyes wide.

“Anna’s in the car,” he said. “We talked. She’s going to head back with you, figure shit out.”

“Yeah?” You asked, voice wet.

“Yeah,” Josh said. “It’s… it’s the right thing. Just… don’t be too hard on her. She’s hurting.”

“I won’t,” you said quickly. “I’m sorry I said what I did last night, I didn’t…”

“It’s OK,” Anna said. Joel hadn’t even noticed her getting out of the car but she was there now, one arm crossed protectively over herself. “I know I didn’t give you much choice.”

“Anna,” you breathed before all but throwing yourself at her, flinging your arms around her neck to pull her close. “I’m so glad you’re OK.”

She laughed wetly as she hugged you back.

“Yeah, me too.”

Josh went to help her get her things from the Uber and you looked to Joel, drying your eyes on your wrists.

“How’d you do it?” You asked quietly.

He shrugged.

“Don’t think I did much of anything at all,” he said, watching you closely. “Just told her the truth.”

“Whatever you did,” you said, stepping closer to him. “Thank you.”

You hugged him, your arms wrapping around him and he could feel every line of your body against his and he held you close. He couldn’t help but hold you close.

“‘Course, baby,” he said. “Do anything for you.”

He tried not to think about how true that was or how much that scared him as he gathered you up and took you and your sister home, where you belonged.

Next Chapter

A/N: I'm so sorry this took an eternity to write. My carpel tunnel flared up something fierce and put me out of commission for a while. Thank you so much for being patient!

Goldie and Joel are doing... something. It's something. I promise they're getting somewhere, they really are! There are just a few more bumps in the road until they do. I just really love writing these two as they work through these long-held assumptions and insecurities! Thank you for wanting to be there for it.

Love you!

Taglist: @kaseyconnour

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #halcyon #joel miller x oc #joel miller smut

168 notes · View notes

s-4pphics · 2 years ago

Text

scent of the pine. 4 (e.w)

we back in this shit like we never left y’all 😳

wc;cw 10.7k ohhh not again, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r black coded <3, FLUFF i know shocker, but slight angst bc i’m devious like that🤭, domestic ellie with a cat, some crack :p, SMUT UH OHHH MDNI, dubcon(ellie is high), weed, sexual tension yall already knowww, thigh riding, fingering, eating out no restaurant, mult. orgasms, squirting, dirty talk, one pussy slap, overstim, ellie’s tongue is pierced yes that’s a warning lol, masturbation, more stunna girl promo someone pay me, this is cute tbh lol

“Your girlfriend is living lavish. GYYYAATTT— “

“Arya, can you please shut up! She’s not my girlfriend!”

“No bitch, you needa shut the hell up! I drove you here and I will leave you!”

You and an irritated Arya (she’s not herself when she’s hungry!) were parked outside of Ellie’s very… expensive looking apartment building. It looked like there were about thirty floors to it with lots of windows. You knew she had accumulated a following due to the reaction people had to her on New Year’s Eve, but you weren’t expecting her to be living like an actual celebrity. She was fucking rich, now. You couldn’t wrap your head around it.

Arya must’ve noticed the nervous, intimidated look on your face as you gazed at the building because you immediately felt a soft hand on yours. “Hey, you’re gonna be fine. She seems more than willing to talk and apologize! I’m gonna be here the whole time and you come down when you’re ready, okay?”

You looked over to your best friend—the light of your life—and nodded. You’ve never been so appreciative of someone before. She made you feel so calm—

“With that being said, just know if she says anything outta line, I’m telling your sister and we’re jumpin’ her ass, no question!” she said seriously before encouragingly slapping your thigh. “Go ‘head, love you.”

“…Love you more.” She made you feel calm enough.

Your friends are so…. supportive!

You exited Arya’s car as you waved to her, her giving you two thumbs up in return.

Here goes nothing.

You took in the building as you entered…. this was some Michelin star shit!

Marble floors, white walls edged with gold frames, women wrapped in trench coats with puppies in their purses! What the fuck is going on—

You were even starting to second guess your attire. You wore a simple black puffer, hoodie, and sweatpants. Should you have dressed… better? More presentable? You were starting to get a bit insecure.

You pulled your phone out to distract yourself from second-guessing your appearance (or lack thereof!) and opened your texts with Ellie. You started typing.

hey. i’m downstairs.

You immediately saw her chat bubble pop up before her reply came through.

cool i’ll be down in 2 mins

You sighed a heavy sigh as you shut your phone off. Don’t overthink, you thought. You’re here to talk and that’s it! Nothing more, nothing less.

Don’t lie, slut!

Your brain hates you! It fucking hates you—!

Your train of thought immediately shut off as you saw Ellie walk out of the elevator. She looked so…warm. She had on a black beanie and sweatsuit, little marijuana fuzzy socks, and slippers.

You missed seeing this side of her. So relaxed and comfortable.

She walked over to you with a timid expression before finally muttering a hi, and you muttered one back.

You could tell she was nervous: her thumbs were fidgeting, she wouldn’t look you in your eyes for too long, and she was licking at her slightly chapped lips.

“We should, um… go upstairs?” She asked quietly, like speaking too loudly would frighten you.

You only nodded gently. She nodded back before turning, leading you towards the elevators.

You found out Ellie lived on the… nineteenth floor. What the fuck? Wasn’t the golden rule of apartments: the higher you are, the more expensive it is?! What the fuck was she doing up here?

“My place is down the hall,” she said over her shoulder. You took note of the shakiness in her voice. You’ve never seen her so skittish before. Was it because of you?

She unlocked the third from the last door and opened it, allowing you entry. You took in her place and… holy fuck!

Her apartment… her loft was fucking immaculate!

Her living room was huge: plush, gray couch that was stocked with matching pillows, black and green rugs littering the floor, TV mounted on the wall, black glass coffee table, and her dual monitor setup (you see that black kitten ears headset! was she a fucking gamer?!). There were black details everywhere on the walls, floors, and spiral staircase that led into her bedroom what the fuck?! You could see where she slept… and you were still downstairs!

And her fucking black marble kitchen! You were in love! You never cooked a day in your life, but you will gladly start now if it means you can stay in there forever!

“Ellie, who the fuck are you?” you asked, shocked and dazed.

She seemed to relax at your question as she softly chuckled, shyly looking down at her socked feet.

“I’ll tell you everything you wanna know. Come sit with me.” She said, nodding towards her couch. It was slightly sunken in; she must’ve been napping there! You unlaced your boots and removed your coat, holding it in your hands. As you followed her towards the couch to sling your coat over the back, a soft jingle, followed by soft paddling on the floor caught you off guard. You turned to see a small, green-eyed Bombay cat next to the kitchen counter, curiously staring at you.

You let out a gasp of excitement at the little baby before looking at a surprised Ellie, grabbing her wrist joyfully.

“Ellie, oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me you had a cat?! It’s so cute, boy or girl?! How old is it— “

“She’s a.. she’s a girl. Seven months.”

“She’s soooo cute! Oh my god! I always wanted a cat! What’s her name? Oh, look at her little princess collar— “

You turned back to her: she had an expression that you didn’t recognize, and you hadn't realized how close you’d gotten during your jumpy, hyper kitty questions. You felt her breathing against your face as she studied it, and you studied her back.

Why were you suddenly thinking about that night? You kissing her, her kissing back, her grabbing you like she never wanted to let you go again. Her eyes slowly dropped to your mouth, and yours did the same. All you had to do was lean forward again—

A quiet meow! snapped you out of your lustful haze before you looked down and backed away. You noticed Ellie hadn’t moved from her position when you looked back up, eyes still searching for… something.

“She’s.. she’s cute,” you said as you cleared your throat, walking towards the cushiony space. “Let’s sit.”

She silently nodded and sat next to you.

Deep breath. Exhale.

Let’s get this over with! your brain shouted.

“I’m so sorry. I never regretted anything so much in my life. I treated your sister like fucking garbage—I treated you like garbage and I’ve never felt so terrible— “

“Ellie, breathe,” you cut off her nervous mumbles. You just sat down! “I’m not… upset with you anymore. And you're not the only one who fucked up, either. It wouldn’t be an apology if I didn’t take some accountability too.”

You watched her relax before confusion overtook her expression. You explained yourself, blushing as you recalled the events of that night. “I know… New Year’s wasn’t the best first meeting after…. you know. I wanted to apologize for how I… reacted and what I did. It wasn’t okay at all—”

There was a moment of silence before she broke it, eyebrows still pulled downward as she stuttered. “You don’t... You don’t have to apologize for that. I um…. like, it was fine. Well, it wasn’t fine—we were drunk and whatever, but, yeah, I don’t think of you differently, or, what I mean is— “

You laughed lightly at her nervousness. She shook her head with a sheepish smile before she hit her mint elf bar that she pulled out of her pocket, blowing the smoke away from your face.

“I’m not sure if you can tell, but I’m scared shitless.”

“I think you’re making it obvious,” you said as you chuckled and continued.

She paused as she collected her thoughts, staring down at the couch. “I said a lot of… fucked up shit when I met up with your sister after everything happened. About her… about you. I don't know how much she told you but… I said things that I regretted immediately. I was angry and hurt… and I felt cornered, and I lashed out. Doesn’t excuse it at all, but… yeah, it was gross’n uncalled for.”

“She told me everything. All of it,” You tried to ignore the sting in your heart as you recalled that night. She nodded her head shamefully. You continued.

“Why didn’t you reach out after your birthday?” You pressed as softly as you could manage.

She didn’t answer immediately as you watched her breathe deeply.

“I…” She stuttered before whispering. “I was scared.”

“Of?” You pressed again, tone more urgent.

“Of you both never talking to me again,” She said, confusing you before she clarified. “I held it off for so long because I needed to think about my approach. I felt if I immediately called you, you wouldn’t wanna talk to me because of how fresh it was. But I also…I don’t know, it’s fuckin’ stupid.”

You shook your head at her. “I'm just…I’m confused because I never, like, hated you or anything like that after we left your party. I want you to know that,” you said seriously, your nerves making you stutter. “I was sad and embarrassed, but never… hateful, if that makes sense. Even when I tried to be afterwards, it never came.”

You noticed her expression drop slightly at the mention of hate before she replied softly. “I’d understand if you did. What I said to you and your sister was fucking disgusting… I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for what I said.”

“She’s been… stubborn, I won’t lie. I don’t know what state of mind she’s in when it comes to you, to be honest. I just know she’s still hurting.”

Ellie nodded in acknowledgment as she looked down, but you could see the sorrowful look overtake her face at your admission. It made your heart stutter. You watched as she hit her nic again.

Just as you were about to move to comfort her, your phone dinged, and dinged, from your pocket. You unlocked your phone and saw a slew of texts from Arya.

ari: is she giving you “i’m sorry” head yet?

ari: im bored bro being a good friend is tiring 😐🙄

ari: i know her strap is bright red and THICK

ari: like a fire hydrant!!

ari: how tf r u gonna walk outta that big ass building!!🚷🚷🚷

You clenched and blushed heavily at the suggestion, clicking your phone off and dropping it in your lap out of embarrassment. You looked back up at her with a mortified expression and she… was smirking. And then she smiled. And laughed. She’d been looking at your screen the whole time. Why didn’t you angle the screen away from her?!

She saw them. She saw the messages!

You want to die you want to die you want to die—

“Your friend’s funny,” she said as she blew out a waft of smoke around her giggles.

“I’m—I’m so fuckin’ sorry, she’s crazy and gross! —“

She laughed harder and shook her head. “No, you're good, don’t worry.”

You fell back on her couch (it felt like a fucking cloud!) with your face in your hands as you thought about the type of casket you wanted for your funeral.

But… oh, fuck.

You felt her body move on the couch before you felt her weight crawl on top of you and oh god what the fuck!

She pulled at your forearms to slide your hands off of your warm face, but you refused to open your eyes there was no way you’re opening your fucking eyes right now—

“Look at me.”

You shook your head. She smelled so good, she smelled so good! Your body clenched tight, you were so horny, and you wanted her bad and was her dick like a fire hydrant?!—

“Open ‘em, c’mon, wanna see you!” you heard the smile in her voice.

You missed her smile so bad, and you moved on autopilot, slowly opening your eyes and taking in the sight above you. She was cheesing so hard, a light blush painted across her freckles, beanie discarded and hair everywhere from her messing with it out of nervousness when you sat down. She looked so much more comfortable in your presence, and it made your heart skip with joy. You couldn’t help but smile back at her.

What you didn’t expect was for her to take your wrists in her calloused hands, pin them either side of your head, and bend down to whisper it’s not red, it’s purple, but yeah! before you turned away from her to suffocate yourself in her cushions. They smelled like her why does the universe hate you—!

She started hysterically laughing as she let go of your wrists and plopped down next to you, and it made you want to cry: her laugh is so goofy and stupid and she snorts, but nobody could tell you that her laugh didn’t sound like angels singing in that moment. All you could do was watch her with the widest grin on your face.

After she wiped the tears from her eyes, she met yours, her smile getting softer and her eyes gentler. She licked her lips before she subtly dropped her eyes to your mouth, and back up to meet your gaze again. You could feel her gently grazing her fingers across your forehead as you looked at each other. Your heart was pounding due to her closeness—

THROW IT IN ROTATION! (THROW IT!)—

Your ringtone blared in the living room and you wanted to fucking scream. You sat up to reach for it before plopping back down, answering it.

“BITCH, I’M STARVING! ARE Y’ALL DONE?!”

You heard Ellie snicker at your friend's blaring before she whispered a soft don’t leave yet. You sent her a reassuring smile and she sent one back.

“Umm.. Ari?”

“Girl… what?”

“I’m staying, m’ sorry for keeping you waiting for this long.”

You heard her let out a cackle before she wailed, “THE STRAP GOT YOU LIKE THAT?! WHEN’S THE WEDDING—!”

You hung up before she could say anything more. Ellie’s booming laughter nearly shook the entire building.

Your entire body was boiling hot. You heard another ding! from your device. You couldn’t help but read it, making sure to block the screen from Ellie's view this time.

ari: I LOVE U!!!!! PLS BE SAFE

ari: AND DONT B MAD AT ME BC HER PIPE CRAZY!!! XOXO

“Holy fuck!” Ellie said in between breaths, more tears running down her face. “I have to meet her, oh my god!”

It was dark and you were still at Ellie’s.

You’d been laying on the couch talking for hours about any and everything: how you and Arya are roommates on campus, your attempts at music production, your fucking YouTube channel and how she’d been a dedicated subscriber for months?! You let her talk about her life as well: her being a music engineer and producer (she started selling her beats to artists in the city months ago, rich bitches only!), how she, Dina, and Jesse are still very close (poor sissy), her being a literal fucking celebrity and a monarch for the creative community in your town.

(“It was such a random night, I swear to god!” she squealed out with a smile as you listened to the story, laughing. “But… I felt like I wanted to help them, they were such nice people. And it blew up like crazy, it was insane! We couldn’t believe it.”)

You both rambled on and on!

But, even with her transparency, there was still something heavy weighing on you that she hadn’t addressed.

“Ellie?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t wanna… press on this, and don’t answer if you don’t feel comfortable, but… why did you and Cat break up?” You asked softly, staring at the wall behind her.

You felt her shift next to you, and you immediately went to apologize for crossing a boundary, but she spoke before you could.

“We um… we were kinda… bad for each other? That shit sounds so fuckin’ corny, but it’s true.” She said as she collected her thoughts. She continued when she gathered them.

“We met really randomly. I was walking home from school, and we just bumped into each other in front of this gas station. She looked so cool to me and I was like oh my god, she’s perfect. I was still in my fucking gym clothes from P.E, like,” She said with a soft laugh. You smiled encouragingly. “I was in a really… bad place and she came in and made me not think about it all the time.”

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “We’ve always been a little unstable, but it just… all went downhill after we moved to Cali. She was doing things I didn’t like, I was doing things she didn’t like and… yeah. She broke up with me and kicked me out.”

“I’m really sorry, Ellie,” you said comfortingly. “I know you were together for a really long time, that’s terrible.”

“No need to apologize, we just grew apart. It happens,” she replied softly, finally meeting your eyes. “And I got cat custody, so.”

You both let out soft laughs as the familiar jingle rang from the kitchen.

“I swear to god she was human at some point, she always comes when I mention her,” she commented with an eyeroll.

“She’s such a sweetie pie, I wanna cuddle!”

She quietly hummed in agreement before letting out gentle kissy noises to lure her pet over.

Jingle, jingle, jinglejinglejingle—

And a cat appeared on the back of the couch.

“Hi, princess!” You said giddily as you sat up, propping yourself up on your elbow as she sniffed your extended hand. “I’m a fuckin’ idiot, what’s the baby’s name?”

“Duchess, fuckin’ vermin,” She said lightly, grin on her face as she sat up to grab the kitty and placed her in the open space between your bodies, planting kisses on her little head.

“Hi, baby! You’re so cute!” You squealed out as she purred at your gentle pets, before she froze, looked off into the distance and ran off the couch like she saw a ghost.

Ellie tsked and rolled her eyes at her fleeing form before she turned back to you. Did she move closer? Or did you?

“Are you hungry?” She quietly asked, her eyes—once again—locked onto your mouth.

“A little.”

“My dad made lasagna last night, it’s in the fridge. We can order in too if you don’t want that.”

“I love lasagna!”

You watched her grin and look at your mouth one more time before she got up and waddled over to the kitchen.

The lasagna was in the oven, and you were watching Ellie seal her rolled blunt at the kitchen table.

She was lightly licking the wrap closed and you were staring hard. Like, really fucking hard. Your devious fucking brain almost allowed you to forget that she had a fucking black tongue piercing, and you were starting to squirm in your chair—

“You smoke?”

You dazedly shook your head no. “Not really, on very rare occasions.”

She nodded at you while she licked the paper before speaking. “If you wanna hit, just lemme know.”

You nodded at her before redirecting your gaze back to her mouth. She was already done with sealing her blunt, but her lips were so fucking pretty and you couldn’t look away.

Until she started smiling. Fuck.

“You stare really hard,” she noted with a light laugh.

“So do you!” You said as you dropped your gaze to her table.

“Mhm,” She agreed with a nod, squinting her eyes at you. “But you try to act like you're not looking when you are. I want you to catch it, that’s the difference between me’n you.”

She said it so casually and it made your pussy clench—

Ding!

“Be a doll and light this for me, gonna go get the goods,” She said, sliding the stocked ashtray and lighter over to you before lightly jogging towards the oven.

You picked up the lighter and flicked it before picking up the blunt, awkwardly guiding it to the flame.

Was this correct? Or were you supposed to light the other side? What the fuck—

“How the fuck do you live with a stoner like your sister and not know how to spark?” She playfully teased you from the counter, mitt-covered hands holding the hot pan of food.

“Fuck off! I just told you I don’t smoke!” You said with a pout.

She walked back over to you, placing the pan in the middle of the table and removing her paw oven mitts before taking the blunt and lighter from you.

“You’re lighting it like a cig, here, lemme show you.” She said as she sat down.

You watched her ignite the flame and brought it over to the tip of the blunt. She slowly rotated the blunt so all sides were burnt, a steady stream of smoke releasing from the lit end of it.

She brought it to her lips and lightly puffed it twice and you didn’t realize how tight you were squeezing your fists together.

She put the lighter down, properly ripping from the blunt and breathing in a little… sphere? before exhaling and what the fuck was that she’s so fucking sexy—

“See?”

“I can see your charred lungs—!”

She busted out into laughter before she started choking, pointing towards the kitchen cabinets, whining out a go get the fuckin’ plates!

You giggled as you rushed over to grab two, along with forks and a knife before jogging back to your seat.

You made Ellie a plate, cutting her a piece of the cheesy corner and sliding it in front of her, placing her fork on the dish.

You felt her eyes staring holes into your face, and you slowly turned to her, holding her intense gaze as she brought the blunt up to her lips to hit it. She was watching your every move. All you were doing was putting the fucking casserole on the plate, but you felt so hot.

You shyly turned away from her gaze and made yourself a plate and ate in comfortable silence (this lasagna was so fucking good, it rendered you speechless!) as Ellie smoked her roach down. You could still feel her staring!

You both finished eating and you got up to stack and wash the dishes before Ellie stopped you with a nope! you’re my guest! go sit!

“Let me at least wash mine!” You said as you snagged your plate from her hand and ran to the sink, water running and sponge already in hand.

Ellie threw her plate in the sink as you both giggled, reaching for your plate to snatch it back. You tussled with her, dodging her playful grasps for the dirty dish before you felt her front press all the way up against your back, trapping you between the counter and her. And you were immediately still.

And so was she.

She slowly reached around you to turn the water off, grabbing the plate and sponge from your nonresistant hands to place them into the sink. Your hands and body were frozen as you stood there. You hadn’t realized how much you’d been anticipating her touch until you felt her hands on both your covered arms. She slowly moved them up before she brought her hands to your shoulders to squeeze them, sliding them over to gently massage her thumbs into the back of your neck.

You nearly bent over this fucking sink!

Your breathing picked up even more when she whispered out a this okay?, her breath making the hairs on your arms stand up. You nodded eagerly as you bit your lip. Your pussy nodded even faster!

Desperate slut! I knew it!, your brain screamed, and for once, you didn’t listen. You just felt the hands on you.

“You wanna know somethin’?” She whispered out against your neck.

You nodded so hard. Anything anything anything—

She let out a light chuckle before she said, “I thought about you a lot after you left the bar, ‘s kinda embarrassing.”

You spoke before you could think. “What… what'd you think about?” You breathed out, unsteady. You felt her hands clench tighter on your shoulders.

You felt her smirk at your greedy tone against your neck, “Fuckin’ you up against that door, wanted to make you cry.”

You were about to cry right now! Your pussy’s crying! She needs attention! Your hands were glued to the sink, but you slowly wrapped your foot around her ankle to subtly pull her closer to you. You wanted no space between the two of you, you needed her closer.

You felt her drop her hands before she whispered out a turn around, baby.

You dropped your foot spun—whipped— around and it made her giggle. She was so, so close but you needed her closer, needed to breathe her in, needed her inside—

You looked at her, you looked at her so fucking hard. She's so gorgeous and handsome and sexy and you needed her like you needed air! You missed her so much! You couldn’t fucking breathe—!

Kissmekissmekissme—

“Stay the night,” she whispered out against your mouth.

“Not fuckin’ going anywhere.” You could barely recognize your own voice; you needed her so badly.

She hummed, satisfied with your answer before she grabbed your waist to pull you flush against her—just like she did that night—and kissed you. She kissed you breathless and you couldn’t think. She barely touched you and you were brainless!

She smelled like weed and fucking pine and your legs felt like jelly!

Her hands were everywhere: grabbing your hips, grabbing your ass, grabbing your tits through your clothes and you were moaning into her mouth, tugging at her sweatshirt to pull her closer. You felt her studded tongue slide against yours and you moaned again, louder. She hummed back, sucking your bottom lip into her mouth before releasing it to lick it again. You felt her thigh shove between yours in a hard grind against your pussy. You squeaked into her mouth as you impulsively moved downward to meet her thigh.

“Wanted to cum on me so fuckin’ bad, right? Huh?”

“Yeah, baby, shit— “

“Uh huh,” she hummed at your whines before pulling back, grabbing at your sweatpants with a rough tug downward. “Take these off, c’mon.”

You yanked them down as Ellie squatted to help you get them from around your ankles. You stumbled as you lifted a leg to step out of one, but one of her hands came up to your hip to steady you, planting a gentle kiss to one of your thighs with a muttered easy. You noticed her catch a glimpse of your underwear as she pulled away from your leg, which were littered with fucking bowls of fruit are you fucking kidding—

“You’re so fuckin’ cute, holy shit,” you felt her chuckle lightly at your bashed reaction, covering your face as you whined into your hands.

“This is so fucking embarrassing!”

She ignored you as you felt her press kisses all over your legs, “Look at me.”

You whined again, shaking your head.

You felt her kiss her way back up over your panties, over your stomach with a tight grip on your hips, grabbing your tits over your sweatshirt, and you hadn’t even noticed that your hands dropped from your face to grip the counter to steady yourself. She reconnected her lips with yours and you threw your arms around her neck. She pressed her thigh against you, and you slammed a clenching hand down on the counter behind you for balance. She held your hips to help you grind down on her and you were so, so high-strung and ready to cum for her—

“El—Ellie, oh fuck!”

“Yeah?” She said against your neck, sucking marks into the skin.

“Ye—mmh!”

“Gonna get m’fuckin’ leg wet? Gonna make me yours?” She slurred raspily.

The thought of her being yours was enough to make you cum hard in your panties, your body stiffening and your eyes rolling back as it wracked through you. Ellie made sure to keep the gap between your pussy and her leg closed as you rode your high out. You tried to shut your legs as she pressed into you, but your resistance only made her dig her leg harder into your clit with a cocky chuckle against your neck. You couldn’t stop saying her name and you knew she loved it! You were so happy she was standing as close as she was; You would’ve hit the floor the second it washed over you!

She continued that slow grind as you came down. She pulled away from your neck to kiss your mouth, then your nose, then both your cheeks before mumbling, “Can you make it upstairs or do you want me walk you to the fuckin’ couch?”

You peeled your eyes open to lightly glare at her flushed face, and she laughed before kissing your cheek again and pulling you away from the counter. “C’mon, baby, wobble your ass upstairs.”

You did, lightheaded and all.

Ellie's room was so… her.

Posters of metal bands all over the black, faux brick wall, green and blue fairy lights above her dresser, little trinkets and action figures and books on her other dresser. It was all dark tones with hints of forest green on her dresser and nightstands. You were surrounded by her scent when you walked up the stairs, and you almost passed out from elation.

What you didn’t expect to see was her customized fucking guitar that her dad gave her on the stand in the corner of her room. Next to it, on the desk near her producing equipment, was the embroidered guitar pic that you and your sister got for her eighteenth birthday. She still had it, she actually used it. You immediately felt tears prick your eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she said sympathetically, wrapping her arms around your waist to hold you against her. You sniffled and wiped your eyes.

“…Nothin’, just happy and missed you,” You hoped she bought it. You weren’t about to tell her that you were crying over a fucking guitar pic.

“Missed you so fuckin’ much, you don’t understand,” and you felt her squeeze your waist tighter.

You were on cloud nine.

After you calmed down and wiped your face as she kissed your neck in comfort, she guided you over to her mussed king bed with a mumbled sit down against your forehead before kissing it. You sat and moved to scoot up towards the middle of the bed, but she quickly grabbed your ankles and pulled you back down to the edge. You let out a shocked squeak.

“No one told you to move. Stay there,” She scolded quietly before removing her sweatshirt. Your pussy squeezed at the sight of her bare chest and her fucking defined abs and her everything. You examined her upper body closely: flushed chest littered with freckles shaped like stars, small and random scars that you recognized from her skateboarding accidents years ago, how muscular she was. She was so…

She watched your legs squeeze together with a lick of her lips. You watched her gaze peer down as she watched wetness collect on your panties before she turned and walked towards her dresser to turn her dim lamp and dug around for something… a few things.

Your heartbeat pounded at an alarming pace as you watched her back muscles move with her rummaging. You let out a quiet, dreamy sigh. You’d let her do anything she wanted to you!

She walked back to the bed with full hands, placing the pile of… toys on her exposed, forest green, pine-scented sheets.

You were staring so hard at the… weaponry she just dumped next to you. The only one you recognized was the rechargeable blue wand, her fucking thick, dark purple strap oh fuck, some cherry-flavored lube, and that clit massager that people always linked under viral Twitter threads. Hey, ladies! —

Ellie must’ve noticed the shocked look on your face as you eyed the toys because you felt her grab your chin to redirect your gaze onto her. You were so wound up.

“We don’t have to use all of these, we don’t have to use any of you don’t wanna,” Ellie said gently as she looked down at you while gently caressing your jaw with her pointer finger. “Just wanted you to know I have a preeetty good selection to choose from, it’s up to you, though, whatever you want.”

You got wetter at her consideration and her soft chuckles and her touch and her tits, and oh god, you were about to say I love you—!

“Ellie, I’ve never—y’know,” You blurted out before your habit of impulsivity took over.

“Never used a toy?”

Your face got hotter as you sighed heavily and averted your gaze towards the wall, and you felt her release your chin to lay on her stomach next to you.

She called out your name softly. You timidly looked at her.

“You never had sex?”

You slowly shook your head no.

You were expecting her to joke around and laugh at your embarrassing confession, but she looked and sounded so attentive, so comforting, and it made you squirm.

“It's not a big deal, y’know that right? There’s no timeline to do it. You do it when you wanna… and that’s it.” She said with soft finality as you turned to look at her… very high ceiling. Wealth.

“I wanna, it’s just… like, I don’t know how. Like, where do I put my hands?” You asked with an awkward chuckle as you stiffly held them in the air.

She snorted in your ear before she shuffled closer, turning onto her side to face you. You felt her lift your hoodie up just under your lounge bra and you felt her hand graze the exposed skin above your panties, not dipping under, yet. Just… touching along them. It made you shudder.

“You put ‘em where you like,” She whispered in your ear as she kissed them, barely nudging her fingers under your panties. “And you just watch. See how they react.”

You dropped your hand to place lightly on her wrist to rest there. You saw her gauging your reaction for any signs of discomfort from the corner of your eye. There weren’t any, touch me everywhere!, you wanted to scream.

“El…Ellie..” You whimpered out

“Tell me what you want from me, I’ll do it, anything you want, just need to hear you say it.” She sounded just as eager as you felt and it was making your toes curl.

“Can you,” You whined out quietly as you gripped her wrist tighter. She nodded encouragingly at you. “Want you to touch me.”

“Tell me where, baby.”

“Y-you know where.”

“Say it.” She demanded. Her voice was going to put you in a casket!

“My… my pussy, want you to touch my pussy,” you quickly murmured out to her, your eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment.

“Take these off,” she whispered, kissing the side of your head as she snapped the band of your underwear against your skin. You quickly lifted your hips to rip them off your body, harshly kicking them onto the floor. She snickered at you.

She sat up to instantly straddle your waist and your eyes shot open. She looked so pretty on top of you like this. She bent down to place a quick kiss to your lips before she lifted your hoodie up and over your head and tossed it…. fucking somewhere, you didn’t care where! She started kissing you on your cheeks, down to your jaw, to your neck, to your shoulder (you jerked slightly, you love it when she touches you there!). You felt her slowly lift your bra up and over your tits, your back immediately arching up into her so she could pull it off you, tossing that into the abyss, as well.

“Put your fuckin’ hands up there,” She said, nodding her head up slightly as she sat up to take your body in. You pushed your self-consciousness aside and immediately followed her instructions, releasing the tight grip you had on her sheets and stretching your arms out above your head. “Don’t move ‘em, either.”

You nodded your head. You won't, you won’t!

She brought her lips down to meet yours again before she trailed them down your body. She kissed and sucked on both your nipples, the stud in her mouth circling the bud, as you whined and squirmed under her, fingers grasping the blankets above your head, your hips bucking up before she pressed them down with her strong hands.

“Stop moving.”

You nodded as you whimpered.

She left kisses down your stomach, sucking bruises into it as she moved down down down, her feet planting on the floor before she got down on her knees. She yanked you closer to the edge and her, throwing your legs over her shoulders again. Your lower half was nearly hanging off the bed!

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy, I swear to god.” She said against your thighs as she sloppily kissed them. You clenched tighter when she whispered out a so fuckin’ cute.

You felt her spread your pussy lips with her fingers, exposing the pulsing bud. Another gush of wetness left you and she laughed gently. It made you clench again.

“Ever put a finger inside?”

“N-no?” You whimpered between pants.

“You don’t remember?”

“I’ve never… yeah.”

She chuckled lightly. “Okay, wanna see if you like it?”

You let out a shaky mhm!, and you felt her arms tightly wrap around both your thighs before she licked your clit in a slow swipe.

You moaned out and your back arched and your eyes watered. The jewelry in her mouth was making you see stars and it’s been five seconds. She barely did anything and you felt that tight clench in your core! You were about to cum already!

You felt her tongue move in slow circles on your clit and you couldn’t stop making fucking noise! You were whining out pleads and your pussy was telling her I like it, don’t stop! with every throb, every clench. You could feel her take notes of all your reactions as she slowly massaged your clit with her pierced tongue. You felt that feeling coming back and it was so fast—

“El, mmh!—fuck, ‘m gonna—!”

“You can, ‘m not gonna stop.” She said against your clit. The vibrations sent your brain into overdrive.

“Ughh! Fuck—!”

You came. You came so fucking hard. You couldn’t fucking run due to the tight grip on your thighs, so you slammed your hand down on her shoulder to ground yourself, digging your nails into it as she moaned out against your clit as she sucked on it. Your head was thrown all the way back as you screamed her name, and she was still sucking on your clit and wasn’t stopping and oh fuck—

“El, pleasepleaseplease, I can’t—“you called out as you pushed her head away from you.

She released your clit and slapped it before you could squeeze your thighs together. You let out a squeak and jolted away from her snickering form as you felt her kiss up your legs, to your torso, to your face before resting beside you.

“You okay?” She asked as she laughed quietly, planting kisses on your ear and neck. You couldn’t move or speak—you could hardly breathe! — and she had the audacity to laugh?!

“I’m not done, I told you that,” She said as she sucked on your shoulder, and you felt a tight squeeze again.

“Ellie, I can’t take anymore— “

“Yeah, you can, open em’, c’mon, lemme see,” She said as she tapped your stiff thigh. You slowly released the tension in them before letting them fall open and she sat up to prop herself on her elbow. You watched her look down so she could look at and rub your clit again, letting out a quiet fuuuck at the sight of your sticky center. Your legs almost flew shut at the sensitivity, but she held them open with one of her legs. You let out a groan as she laughed louder and rubbed a little harder before she stopped at your whining. Fucking sadist!

“Wanna watch you take my fingers.”

You whimpered out her name as you met her gaze.

“Want me to stop, baby?”

You quickly shook your head. No, no no, don’t stop, don’t leave me!

She bent down to kiss your neck as she moved her hand to squeeze the inner parts of your thigh before she brought her hand back down to rub your clit again. Your hips bucked, but she didn’t hold you.

You felt her fingers dip lower and lower until she was at your drippy opening, only to bring them up to her mouth to suck them clean. You moaned when she moaned at the taste and turned to kiss you, gliding her tongue on yours so you could see for yourself. You sucked lightly on her tongue and her tongue ring, and she whined out.

“Taste so fuckin’ good, such good pussy,” She slurred out against your mouth. You felt her hand go straight back down to your pussy before she lightly nudged her finger in. You went stiff. She kissed your neck to soothe you.

“This okay?” She asked gently before continuing. “Always remember you can stop me.”

“Wan’it, El, I promise, want you everywhere, want you inside,” you sounded just as delirious as she was, drunk off each other.

She nodded against you. “Okay. Gonna go slow.”

You nodded back.

She continued her movements, slowly pushing her pointer finger inside you, watching your face for any signs of discomfort. But you were so fucking wet, you could feel yourself dripping on her fucking sheets, her finger slipped in and you wanted more.

You felt her slowly rub your clit with her thumb and it made you squeeze tight on her.

“Can barely move my fuckin’ finger, what the fuck,” She said in shock and it made you squeeze harder! “Want another, baby? Want another inside?”

You were nodding mindlessly as you listened to the noises your pussy made (yes, please! another inside!) as she rubbed you raw, and you could feel her wiggling around, in search for something—

You moaned aloud as your legs instinctively opened wider so she could get deeper and holy fuck it felt so fucking good when she hit right there—

“Yeah?” She rasped in your ear, pressing on it harder.

“Yeahyeah, fuck—“

“Yeah babygirl? That’s the spot? Like it right here?” She asked dazed as she slid another finger in to press up against it. You felt the stretch but you didn’t care because you felt something inside you rising and rising—

She wasn’t even fucking you anymore! Just grinding her fingers into right where you needed them while her thumb circled your clit and she was about to make you cum again. The squelching noises of your pussy got louder and louder and your eyes rolled into your skull as your back arched as it hit you.

“Fuck yeah, fuckin’ give it to me, thaaat’s a good girl, fuck me.”

You felt a burst of wetness around you and it wouldn’t stop because of how hard Ellie was fucking you. You couldn’t think and all you could say were slurry, wet fuckmefuckmefuckme’s as she took you to the moon and back.

You finally came down as Ellie pressed kisses on your head while slowly rubbing your clit, talking you back to earth. Your eyes peeled open, bleary and teary-eyed. How were you not dead yet? You felt like you died!

“Welcome back,” you heard a light voice giggle at you.

You flipped her off and she laughed. She gave it a kitten lick before she sat up. What the fuck—

You watched her get up to run to the bathroom. You heard the sink running before you saw her quickly return with a warm, damp washcloth to clean you up.

“My sheets are drenched, goddamn,” She said in quiet amazement as she ran her fingers through her hair. It made you blush harder.

Jinglejinglejinglejingle—

Meow! MeowMeow! Meow—

“Oh shit. Needa feed her, I’ll be back,” Ellie said to you, bending down to plant a kiss on your bruised thigh, discarding the towel in her hamper. You watched as she scooped up Duchess to carry her downstairs while pressing kisses to her head.

Your heart was pounding as you smiled dotingly at her descending form.

After feeding the purring kitty and smoking another blunt, Ellie made her way upstairs to find you curled up and snoring.

She snorted and made her way over to you, pressing light kisses to your back as you shuffled around.

“I gotta change the sheets babe, up you get, c’mon,” She said gently with an encouraging pat to your ass. She did, in fact, watch it jiggle. “You wanna shower?”

You shook your head as you rubbed your eyes, rolling over onto your back. “M’kay, just gonna change them and you can sleep.”

Ellie made her way over to her linen cabinet to grab the freshly washed sheets before making her way back over to your now upright form.

She watched you stand up to toss the blankets and pillows off and ripped the… soaking sheets off, everything—including the pile of toys that she never put back— falling onto the rug covered floor. She noticed your avoidant gaze as you caught glimpses of her dick poking out from under the pile of bedding. It made her smile and blush.

Ellie made the bed while you sat at her desk to drink water, fluffing the pillows and fixing the blankets.

“Alright, come lay down.”

She heard you move instantly as you dove headfirst into the plush bed, immediately grabbing a pillow and sliding under the blankets.

Ellie shook her head with a smile before moving towards her nightstand to turn off the dimly lit lamp. She made her way to the bathroom before she heard a little waaitt. She turned to see you with an outstretched hand, luring her back to you.

“What’s the matter?” She asked, squatting next to you.

“Wanna kiss,” You said, pouting, and Ellie's heart rate shot up. Fuck, fuckfuckfuck—

But she only hummed in acknowledgment, bending down to connect your lips in a soft kiss. “Better?”

You nodded with a grin, looking lovingly at her face. You leaned in for one more and she accepted. She accepted so quickly.

“Gonna go shower, okay?” She said gently against your mouth.

“Without me?” You whispered back with a sly grin, pressing another kiss to her mouth.

“Shut up, I asked you,” She was cheesing so fucking hard, her cheeks were starting to hurt.

You giggled, kissing her cheek before turning back over.

Ellie let out a deep sigh as she stood and stripped, removing her sweatpants and damp boxers, and tossing everything—including your fruit bowl covered panties that you would not be getting back—into the hamper as she made her way to the bathroom.

She shut the bathroom door and leaned back against it and thought.

What the fuck has she gotten herself into?

She wanted you close the minute she saw you downstairs, all warm and cozy with the brightest, gentlest eyes she’d ever had the pleasure of looking into. So soft and gentle and filled with longing.

She hoped you noticed how much she missed you, too.

And your stares… so filled with want and desire and eagerness. She wanted to touch you all over.

She was so fucking horny, and her heart was beating at the speed of light and every time she shut her eyes, she could see you smiling and laughing and—

She just made you cum all over her bed… and fingers…and leg and you were so fucking tight on her, and she wanted to fuck you so bad. Want to make you feel good. Wanted to make you see what she sees whenever she looks at you. So fucking gorgeous.

She was getting hot again.

She slowly walked towards the shower and turned the water on, checking the temperature before stepping inside.

She leaned forward slightly to wet her hair and her face before grabbing her loofah and soap, sudsing it up and scrubbing her body with the bubbly, pine-scented wash. She turned her back towards the hot water and immediately felt a sting on her shoulder. She turned her head, pulling the skin towards her to see the little red lines you dug into her when you came on her face.

All she could think about was making you fucking squirt again. She needed to fucking cum so bad.

But she didn’t want to wake you: you looked so cuddly and warm nestled under her blankets with your face nuzzled into her pillow. She wanted you to stay like that, content and satisfied and relaxed. Calm. You deserved it. Fuck, you deserved so much.

Her soft thoughts were cut off when she turned back around and looked up. At her shower head. Her detachable shower head. She let out a sigh and accepted her fate.

She rinsed her body off, making sure all the soap was running off of her and into the drain before she reached up to unhook the shower head from its latch in the wall. She adjusted the temperature to make it cooler, adjusted the settings to massage and squatted against the wall. She exposed her clit with her free hand and moved so the water could hit it straight on. The strong pulse made her shudder instantly.

Justneedacumjustneedacum—

Her glossy eyes fluttered shut and she immediately saw you bouncing on her dick. She saw you rubbing your clit and touching your tits telling her how good it’s stretching you out, and it’s all for her. She saw you looking up at her with your glossy, lustful eyes, your trembling thighs, your glistening pussy. How pretty it is. How pretty your face was. How bright your smile was and fuck, it was going to make her fucking cum—

She wanted you to be happy. She loved seeing you happy. She loved it, she loved it!

“Fuck, shit!”

She felt that sweet, swelling feeling in her cunt and she was so close. She missed your scent: you smelt like fucking sunflowers she wanted it all over her. Wanted to drown in you in any way she could. Any way you’d allow.

She lov—

And she came so fucking hard, her ears started ringing. Her brain only producing images of you and your giggling face and you playing your fucking violin! Who would’ve thought that would make her eyes roll back into her skull as her clit throbbed in her high?

She felt the sensitivity in her bud as she held the flow of water on it, but she needed more. She wanted you so bad, she couldn’t get enough. She was biting her lip to keep from making noises because you were fucking sleeping, but she couldn’t help the little hums and squeaks of pleasure as she bucked up into the stream.

She was going to cum again. She was getting tighter and she felt it in her toes and she couldn’t stop shaking.

It was coming so fast. She threw her head back against the shower wall as it swelled in her lower belly and it’s right there it’s right there—

All she heard was your screams of Ellie! and fuckme! and yes! more! want you everywhere! and she blacked out when it hit her. Her mouth dropped open, and she couldn’t help the moans that left her, saying your name as quietly as she could manage. Fuck, she wanted you next to her. Wants you close, always wants you close. She never wants you away from her again.

She came down, tossing the still running shower head onto the floor as she slouched in her position. Her vision was spotty as she glanced around at the marble walls, but she could still see you in her mind. And she knew that you wouldn’t be leaving it anytime soon.

Fuck.

She was in trouble.

After Ellie got up on her trembling legs and dried off, she walked back into her room to find you tucked under her dark blankets while Duchess laid across your feet on her back. Her heart stuttered in her chest, and she couldn’t help the small smile that made its way onto her face.

She put on a pair of boxers and Dina’s old Slayer tee before she pulled the covers back to lay next to you. She heard Duchess move around on top of your legs. She carefully sat up to stick her arm out to lure her closer, picking up the tired kitty before she put the fur ball between your bodies. She felt the kitty relax in her grasp.

Ellie looked up at your tranquil, sleeping form before leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on your forehead. You nuzzled closer even in your resting state.

Yeah.

She was in fucking trouble.

You woke up early. With no scarf on!

It was around six in the morning when your eyes pulled up, and you were very hot. And there was something fluffy between your neck and chin.

And then you remembered. Ellie. Kitty. Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. Oh, shit. The memories of last night slammed into you like a sixteen-wheeler and you couldn’t stop grinning. You probably looked crazy from another perspective.

She was holding you to her chest, your bare back flush against her clothed chest. You tried to shuffle as lightly as you could so you wouldn’t wake your cuddler, but she moved with you anyway, pulling you closer.

And then you felt her nails just barely grazing up and down your arm as you relaxed into her instantly.

“Ellie?” You whispered.

“Mhm?” she said hoarsely back. Fuck.

“You awake?”

“…No.” She said with a snort. You gently kicked her leg as you grinned.

Duchess had moved from your shoulder and onto the bed when you both started shifting, stretching her back before sitting to lick her paw and wipe her face with it, soft jingles ringing through the silence of the room.

“She likes you,” Ellie noted softly in your ear before kissing it.

“I love her,” you whispered back as you turned around to face the warm girl. She was resting her head on her large pillow, softly caressing your other arm. Her eyes slowly trailed down your face, then your neck, to your breasts. You watched her lick her lips before biting them. You blushed and reached out to lightly slap her arm. She smiled.

“Not gonna touch. Just lookin’,” She whispered with a foxlike grin on her face as she continued to stare.

You giggled at her as she softly laughed with you. “You can touch if you wanna.”

“Oh, I��m gonna, just not right now,” she said huskily as she cockily raised her brow at you. It made you shiver in delight. She could touch you anywhere.

But your smile slowly disappeared when you remembered.

“Ellie?”

“Yeah?” She said back quietly, meeting your eyes.

“I leave in a couple days,” you said sadly. “Back to campus, I mean.”

She nodded in understanding, but you saw her brows pulled down in a slight frown. She looked a little sad at the sound of you leaving and you wanted to hold her so tight.

“When do you come back, do you know?” she asked in a whisper as she mindlessly played with your fingers under the blanket.

“Not ‘til April,” you said with a sad smile. “Spring break.”

She let out a sigh before she leaned forward to plant a kiss to your lips, you instantly reciprocating.

She pulled back to whisper, “Do you needa leave today?”

You reluctantly shook your head yes. “Not right now, but later, yeah.”

She said nothing, but she grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer into her chest, nuzzling your neck to plant kisses on it. You didn’t want to leave, and you could feel tears pricking your eyes. You blinked rapidly so she wouldn’t notice how upset you were getting.

“Wanna make you breakfast, at least.”

You let out a wet laugh as you sniffed lightly. “You almost burned your house down when you made Jesse those cupcakes for his birthday way back! You’re never allowed in the kitchen again.”

“Oh, fuck you! I was ten and didn’t know what the numbers were on the knob, leave me alone,” She muffled with a smile into your neck. You let out an even louder laugh at her admission. She pressed one more kiss to your neck before sitting up and removing the blankets. Your nipples hardened as the cold air hit them.

“What are you lookin’ at? Hm?” You heard her ask. You propped yourself up to see who she was talking to. You followed her line of sight onto the floor to see a… very judgmental looking Duchess giving her owner a feed me now! glare.

“She’s a fuckin’ homophobe. Make out with me so we can piss her off more!” She said jokingly, making kissy faces and grabby hands at you. Even though you wanted her tongue in your mouth again, you declined.

“No! Go feed the baby right now!” You said with a laugh as you moved away from her. She laughed at you before she jumped up from the bed.

“Come on, m’love,” Ellie said as she clicked her tongue at her cat, moving towards the stairs. Small jingles and soft scratches on the hardwood filled the room.

“Ellie, can I use your shower?” You yelled from upstairs.

“…Course you can!” You heard her yell back.

You hadn’t noticed as you moved towards the bathroom, but Ellie flushed bright red at the mention of the shower.

After washing up and stealing some of Ellie’s pine-scented lotion, you put your hoodie and sweatpants from yesterday back on—bare pussy, where the fuck did your underwear go?!—and flew down the stairs at the smell of sausages and syrup.

You saw Ellie standing over the burning stove, spatula in hand, toaster filled with blueberry Eggos. Your heart raced at the sight.

“Oh my god, you weren’t joking about breakfast!” You said excitedly while trying to act like your heart wasn’t about to burst out of your chest. You hoped it was working.

“Oh, you think this is for you? This is mine, you’re making your own!” Ellie said as she looked at you in mocked shock.

“Fuck you! Put my eggs on the damn plate!” You yelled back to her as you walked over the table.

She laughed as she stacked two waffles on your plate before topping them with whipped cream, along with your crispy sausages and (slightly burnt) eggs. She's so cute!

The little chef walked over to you, towel slung over her shoulder as you giggled giddily. She sets your plate in front of you, calling the masterpiece chef Ellie’s surprise! with a dramatic wave of her towel. You clapped for her as she bowed.

You drenched your waffles in syrup and dug in, as she lightly jogged over to you with a you couldn’t fuckin’ wait for me?!, plate in hand.

You ate and talked and joked and laughed so hard, you nearly choked on your orange juice. The two of you were in your own little universe and you never wanted to leave.

But you had to eventually, and you felt devastation wash over you every hour that passed.

It was noon, and you had to go home.

Ellie held your hand the entire walk down the stairs. You got your puffer from the couch and put it back on as you both walked towards the front door.

She bought your Uber after your denial of her offer to drive you home, sadly claiming I don’t know if sissy’ll be there, and you could tell that the mention of your sister saddened her, but she accepted with a soft okay.

She squatted to lace up your boots, planting a gentle kiss to your clothed knee before she rose to your height. She’s so tall, fuck.

“Ready, babe?” She asked gently, wrapping her arms around your neck. You waddled closer, rubbing your nose against hers. She pressed a kiss to your mouth, and you pressed another to hers.

“Don’t wanna go,” you barely whispered out. You felt your eyes getting a little glossy. Don’t fucking cry.

“Don’t want you to go, but you gotta,” She said gently. “Fucking scholar.”

You were going to say something, but a notification came from her phone in her pocket. She grabbed it, softly saying your car was downstairs.

“Text me when you get home, okay?”

You nodded, giving her one more kiss before pulling away from her warmth, slowly walking towards the front door with her following behind. You pulled it open before turning to wrap your arms around her, and she held you just as tightly. You could see Duchess sleeping on the couch on her back, and your tears fell as you shut them. Don’t cry don’t fucking cry—

You knew you weren’t going to be able to see her before you left, so you inhaled her scent one last time until you saw her again.

And you turned to leave before she could see your tear-stained face.

You sent a quick text to Ellie as you exited the car saying that you made it safely. She sent you a im glad baby. get some rest and ill see u soon. And it made you sob. And horny. You want to fuck again.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket when you got up to your room, wiping your damp cheeks. You opened your STUNNA GIRL RIDERS👩🏾‍🦳💯 group chat.

y: hi guys lol

And you nearly jumped at how fast the messages came through.

ari: BITCH DKNT FUCCKINGNSAY HI LIKE SHIT IS SWEET HOW WASS THE PIPE

krissy: hi honey!

shining starr: U HOE

ari: SHES SO YRJXIDNFN I KNOW SHE LAID IT DOWNNNNN DDDDEEEEOWNNNNN

y: y’all r so annoying

y: not u kris ily so much ur everything to me

krissy: ur my baby! ilym

ari: SHUTHT EYFHCJCXUPPP GIMME THE DETAILS I NEED EVERY DETAIL RIGHRNFUCKDINGNNOW IM NOT FUXKING PLAYING

shining starr: 😛😛

y: she made me cum when she did the knee thing and sucked my tits and ate me out and made me squirt when she fingered me

You quickly typed the message and sent it before you regretted it. Your cheeks ran hot even thinking about it. You missed her so fucking much.

shining starr: oh wow.

ari: OHTNMTCUXKDKSIEIEIEISISJSKAKDBHDJS

krissy: eeeek i’m so glad u had fun!!

shining starr: u freak. always the fucking quiet ones i told u bitches that

ari: FUCKKDMFMEKWISDJJDJKOOEOEKWJWN

ari: SHES S ABOUT TO TURN YOU OUT FUCKCDINNG THATS SO FUCKIRGNNHOT

y: we didn’t even get to fuck fully but she has so many toys

y: i miss her so bad already

y: she has a kitty🥺

ari: BITCH FUCK THE CAT!!!! NOBODY CARES!! WHAT COLOR IS HER STRAP

ari: FUCKIGNNGG. FIRE HYDRANT DICK CONFIRMED???

shining starr: LMFAAOOOOO

You giggled as you sent them (Arya) the details about what happened last night and this morning and you fucking missed Ellie. You couldn’t believe how much you missed her.

You used to hate the Spring, but now, you couldn't wait for it to come.

they getting freaakyyy mmmm everybody clap.

everyone pray 2 the proofread gods 4 me they aint answering my calls no more

shoutout to my lil taglist :p. @fandomshitpostingqueen, @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong, @gold-dustwomxn

pt. 5 :p

#ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams angst #ellie x you #ellie x reader #ellie williams au #black!oc #black!reader #the last of us #ellie williams x black!reader #lesbian #works 𖧧࣪#scent of the pine. ̥*ೃ

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erxxi3 · 2 years ago

Text

— Head Over Pussy ♡

Pairings: Pussy ♡ Drunk! Ellie x Fem! Reader

♡ Summary: Ellie eating you out like you are her last meal and it’s been a couple hours.

♡ CW: f receiving, cunnilingus, praise, and overstimulation?

♡ Pussy drunk! Ellie eating you out, she has you on top of her face your knees bent on either side of her head. This girl can’t get enough of you because she pushes you over your limit, while lapping and sucking your pussy harshly to her content.

“Mmh…so fucking good…” She says moaning into your cunt, while her tongue works on you like magic putting you to a eternal bliss like state.

“Oh god— Oh~! f-fuck els…” You said uncontrollably drowning in pleasure from her tongue, and sweet rich pornographic moans are filling the air in her bedroom along with wet/sappy sounds coming from your cunt as her tongue travels deeper inside of you quickening the pace.

♡ Ellie is not going to stopping anytime soon, she just can’t get enough of how good you taste. <33

Holding you by your ass squeezing it bc of how soft it is, yet she is taking her time with you making it feel like it’s been more than a couple hours. “…please….ellie…” you begged for your release in whines trying to keep yourself upright bc your legs were starting to hurt, they were giving up on you.

Ellie moves her hands to hold your hips still praising you for being so good for her and holding out this long, her words vibrate against your cunt causing you to reach your high.

“e-ellie! oh god….” You said before ending your high with cumming all over her face that making ellie happy when she can make you feel good in order to earn every last drop of your juices.

Praising you as such: “You did so good f` me, my love....” and “You tasted just like heaven, so sweet..”, She said as she got out from underneath you, moving closer to you while her hand came up to caress your cheek planting a kiss on your soft lips, before biting down gently on them.

♡ After that Ellie makes sure to check up on you, taking you to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and then dressed for bed so the two of you can cuddle.

A/N: I really loved how this fic turned out and I’m very proud of myself! Bc I just craved for pussy drunk ellie fic for some reason like the idea came to me at like 3:00am, but I waited till it was 6:30am I was hella tired and wanted to sleep before writing. Sorry for the low quality image…

#lesbian #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x fem! reader #the last of us 🏹#ellie the last of us #ellie williams #💋 anon #Bl1ss posts

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echo-goes-mmm · 1 year ago

Text

Ambrose and Elliot #18

Masterpost

Warnings: sickness

Elliot had an itch in his throat. At first he thought it was leftover from screaming during James’s visit, but that was a while ago and it hadn’t gone away.

He kept on with his chores regardless. It was his place to serve, and a little cold shouldn’t stop him. Master had been rewarding him at the end of every day with a shiny gold coin and Elliot didn’t want to disappoint him. It would be just as bad as the beating that would follow.

He was tired now, too. It wasn’t the satisfying kind that he’d gotten used to after a day of being a good boy. Instead of sleeping pleasant and deep, he tossed and turned at night. Cold and hot all at once, and his beloved blanket wasn’t doing its job. It wasn’t fair. Elliot had been eating more than he’d ever gotten before. He slept well. He had no open wounds (the scratches had faded just like Ambrose said), so there was nothing to infect. It wasn’t fair!

And it wouldn’t be fair to Master Ambrose to stop working. So he didn’t.

___________________

He couldn’t get out of bed. Oh gods, he couldn’t get out of bed.

The fire had gone out during the night, and the fall air chilled him. He shivered, burrowing into the quilt, blanket, and pillows. His jaw barely creaked open enough to breathe, as his nose was clogged. Why did everything hurt? His limbs weighed him down and his muscles protested at the slightest movement.

Light began to filter through the windows. Dawn was approaching. His room faced the sunrise, and it was too bright. Just yesterday, he’d cleaned the windows and now he couldn’t get up to draw the curtains closed. How pathetic.

He watched the beams of light grow longer on his floor. Master Ambrose would be awake soon. Please help me.

___________________

Elliot wasn’t up and about yet. Odd. He wasn’t in the kitchen, or the dining room, or even outside watching the sunrise.

Ambrose knocked on the bedroom door. He heard a faint whine from behind the wood.

“Ellie,” he called, turning the knob, “I’m coming in, sweetheart.”

Elliot was bundled in both his quilt and blanket. Shivering and squinting, he panted and looked absolutely awful. The fire was out, and cold.

Ambrose crossed the room, closing the curtains. Dimming the light would help Elliot’s obvious headache.

He arranged a few logs in the fireplace, striking a flint to light them. He would need to bring more wood from a neighboring room later.

___________________

“Oh Ellie,” said Master, sitting on the edge of his bed. “I’m so sorry.”

Master’s cool hand brushed away his sweaty hair to take his temperature. Master tutted, and guilt swirled in his gut. If Ambrose wasn’t panicked, it must not be that bad. If it wasn’t that bad, Elliot should be working.

He tried getting up, but Master Ambrose gently pushed him back onto the bed.

“None of that, love. Just stay in bed, and I’ll take care of everything.” Elliot was relieved. Now he could rest and obey at the same time. He’d make it up to Master later.

He let Ambrose rearrange the blankets, untangling them from between his legs. The fire was already warming the room and the pleasantness made his eyelids heavy.

___________________

Ambrose let Elliot doze as he tiptoed down the stairs. Luckily, he’d made and canned a huge batch of chicken stock for soup season. Made with roasted chicken bones and bits with peppercorns, bundles of herbs, garlic, and vegetables, the hearty stock would be perfect for Elliot. And it would provide some fluid and nutrients.

He grabbed a pint from the storeroom and set to work. He drizzled some oil in a copper pot and set the heat. Ambrose minced some garlic and ginger and tossed it in the pot. Ginger would help reduce the croaking pain in Elliot’s throat. He diced an onion while the aromatics became fragrant. He added the onion and gave it a stir. Ambrose uncapped the pint of stock, and carefully plopped it into the pot. It was so rich, it had partially congealed. Perfect.

Ambrose held off on adding potatoes. They would be fine for Elliot if cut small enough, but Ambrose knew swallowing would be tough for him. Better to start off with a thinner soup and gradually thicken it as Elliot recovered. Instead, he added some cream for protein. A generous amount of salt, and it was nearly ready.

Soon it was the perfect temperature and the scent was delightful. He ladled a portion into a wooden bowl and carried it up to Elliot’s room.

___________________

Elliot tried to sleep, but the rumble of his stomach kept the fuzziness in his brain from working. The ache in his joints was uncomfortable, and he just wanted everything to go away. He felt so heavy.

“Love, I’m coming in,” said Master.

Elliot saw the bowl and spoon as Master entered. His stuffy nose kept him from smelling anything, but even the promise of food made his mouth water. Master Ambrose sat the bowl on his nightstand, and helped him sit up. Ambrose even propped up the pillows to keep his head from lolling, and Elliot was too tired to even feel ashamed for being useless.

___________________

He couldn’t lift the spoon. Damn. He should have thought of that.

Elliot stared at the soup, despair on his face. Elliot was so fond of food, and for good reason. Sympathy panged in Ambrose’s heart. It must be killer for Elliot to be so close and yet unable to eat without assistance.

Ambrose put the bowl to Elliot’s lips, tilting it ever so slightly. He’d intentionally made it just warm enough to eat right away, thank goodness. Elliot drank, his eyes fluttering. After a moment, Ambrose pulled away to let him breathe.

The look Elliot gave him was halfway murderous and it was almost comical if it weren’t for everything else.

“I don’t want you to choke,” explained Ambrose, and Elliot settled down. Hiccups wouldn’t help either. They were unpleasant if your throat was raw.

Ambrose fed him until the bowl was empty. Elliot had finished it quickly, drinking it down as greedily as a bottle-fed lamb.

“Let’s wait to see how your stomach does,” said Ambrose. “I’ll get you more if you can keep it down, okay?”

Elliot gave him a small smile; he understood.

“Do you want to sleep?”

“Mhm.”

Ambrose helped him lay down again. He’d have to stay by Elliot’s side today. Thankfully it was the third day of the week, so he didn’t have to put out notice that he had closed.

But as he grabbed a book from his shelves and went back to Elliot’s side, he wondered. How did he get sick so fast? He understood why Elliot was hit so hard; he was still not physically recovered from before, and the stress of the recent fight must have contributed. But these things didn’t happen overnight.

He watched Elliot’s chest rise and fall. The soup had loosened his stuffy nose a little, but he still couldn’t breathe through it. Ambrose would have to whip up some medicine to make that easier.

If Elliot had hidden his developing sickness from him, Ambrose needed to know. He’d ask as soon as Elliot could tell him.

___________________

Elliot’s fever broke as he slept, but a cough had taken its place. Ambrose dashed downstairs and hastily made a salve for Elliot’s chest. It was a sticky thing, full of strong scented herbs that would help Elliot breathe.

Carefully, he pulled back the bedclothes and reached under Elliot’s nightshirt. The salve was still warm as he didn’t wait for it to set. He smeared a generous amount on Elliot.

He barely stirred at the touch. It worried Ambrose, but at least he was sleeping.

___________________

Elliot woke up groggy. His head was stuffed with cotton but he could breathe a bit better. Ambrose sat next to him, a book in his hands. He had stayed, and that meant the world to him.

“How are you feeling?” asked Ambrose, setting aside the book.

“Better,” he croaked. And then he coughed and Ambrose sighed a little. His shirt stuck to his chest when he coughed and it felt… sticky under there. Alarmed, he clutched at his shirt and looked down. No blood. And hey, his arm was responding now. But what was it?

“What- what’s on-” he coughed again.

“Just some breathing cream. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you to put it on. You needed to rest.”

Oh. That was nice. It seemed to be working, at least.

“Do you want some more soup?”

“Mhm.”

___________________

The next few days were a blur of tissues and various teas and soups. Elliot’s fever had returned a couple times, and scared the hell out of Ambrose. He’d even gone delirious at one point and begged Ambrose to let him go. It broke his heart.

Elliot had nightmares, too. Eventually Ambrose started reading to him, and that seemed to help.

His cough had gone from a dry nuisance to a wet hack but a steady treatment of the cream and hearty, steaming food kept the worst of it at bay. At one point he’d hacked up something green and nasty and the cough significantly diminished.

Elliot kept everything he ate down, and Ambrose was proud to say Elliot hadn’t lost any weight while bedridden.

By the third day, Elliot was up and moving. His cough was gone, and the weakness subsided into a simple tiredness that could be treated with an afternoon nap. The worst of it was over, and Elliot would be fine.

Thank the gods.

taglist: @cupcakes-and-pain @secretwhumplair @paintedpigeon1 @whump-blog @whump-em @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @starfields08000 @littlespacecastle @mylovelyme @whump-cravings @zeewbee @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

#SICKFIC SICKFIC #i was ~inspired~ by both a spanish flu and a bubonic plague documentary #Ambrose doesnt get sick here bc he has an immune system with 100+ years experience and also is perpetually 25 years old #got that +75 advantage at 'resist disease' rolls #ambrose and elliot #my writing #whump #slavery whump

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starsoftheeye · 8 months ago

Text

TMAGP Episode 15 Live Reaction

I'm destressing after an exam so we're doing this again baby wooo

Pre-Episode

My YouTube keeps not showing the episode, it's been like an hour since the release and its still not up for me

It's not even up for my laptop this is so annoying

I can't remember how I got it to show up last time as well

Bro I keep refreshing my page and its not there WHERE ARE YOU???

Screw it Spotify get over here

THANK YOU SPOTIFY

who is this man and why is he just doing the toffee/gum in mouth/ face stretching exercise from every drama rehearsal i've ever been to

this is oddly scary

as a physics student... probably

oh its a gum ad

oooh implications

this podcast sounds cool

hi simon!!

i'm gonna stop talking about the ads now this post is so long already lmao

i love it when people dedicate episodes to their friends its so sweet

Pre-Statement

sam and celia!!

:0 he got them tickets? thats so sweet i love him

Theatre tickets can be fucking expensive as well jesus he is down bad

ah yes, my favourite piece of theatre to bring a date to: The Pillowman

i love them

alice!!

oooh luke mention

every thursday i listen to a new tmagp episode and every thursday my samalicelia post becomes a little more plausible

she has really thought this through huh

okay this is probably alice meddling out of jealousy but seriously you cannot expect me to hear her basically asking these two to hangout after theyve been on a date and expect my samalicelia brain to not go insane over it

aw alice :(

jack mention jack mention

"babys are cool" shes so me

aw celia i love her

uh oh sam and alice conversation

oh so now youtube decides to work

i cannot understand what sam said there but i'm assuming it was funny and only a bit passive agressive

Statement

Ah another voicemail

this guy sounds like tim but not

oh god what fucked up dinner party are the rich doing now

"they wanted to know whos kill they were eating" oh this is gonna be interesting

oh no theyre watching

ah yes, very informative "prepare"

whos gonna die

ooooh a fucked up woman i love fucked up women

i know this is probably a very important character and i should be paying attention but i am a mere lesbian and i am finding this woman very attractive right now

thats when you realised something was up?

oh im so gay

theyre gonna aim for the caterers they are not safe

bingo

theyre gonna make them run methinks

they killed all the birds

oh are they gonna make the caterers kill something/someone?

oh no steven :(

these people are being very vague id be asking so many questions

each other?

EACH OTHER

PLEASE BE EACH OTHER THATS SO COOL

EACH OTHER YES

I LOVE HUNTING STORIES

this guys enjoying this a little too much

go on boris

oh no boris :(

is she following him?

OH NO HE GOT CAUGHT

AHHHH WOMAN

SHES HOT

HUH????

CELIA RUN

actually no dont you have a better chance if you stay i think

SLAY CELIA

lena what did you do

this is weirdly homoerotic

GWEN???

GWEN WHAT DID YOU DO

GWEN I LOVE YOU BUT WHAT

CHESIRE BOUCHARDS WHAT

GWEN?????

Post-Statement

ooooh is this lukes band?

theyre good i like it

awww these two arent gonna survive together

damn hes doing well

pfffft weedy git i love luke already

hello?? whos this??

lady are you okay??

alice run

ALICE RUN

ALICE HONEY WHAT HAPPENED

yippee more trauma for her to cover up with jokes

is she doing ellie the elephant oh my god

oh shes back

yeah alice you should run

im betting this was the stranger from the magnus institute

i shouldve paid attention to her little ramble lol

oh my god so much is happening in this show and we're only on episode 15

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #samama khalid #celia ripley #alice dyer #gwendolyn bouchard #tmagp spoilers #tmagp reaction #tmagp ep 15

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gayuu-the-necromancer · 11 months ago

Text

｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Jude: "............"

Business partner: "I-I'm surprised that you took the trouble to come all the way here! We have only first-class products, so feel free to inspect them...!"

Jude: "You have lots that aren't shown here. Where are the rest?"

Business partner: "....Excuse me!?"

Jude: "What? Are you deaf? I said show me everything that isn't here."

Business partner: "Ah! T-That's..Umm..they're in the warehouse, far away from here. It will take time to get everything right now. Haha"

Ellis: "I knew this might happen, so I brought everything beforehand. Please check, these belong to you, right?"

Business partner: "W-W-What!?! When did you...!?!?"

Jude: "....The quality of these ones doesn't look the same compared to the ones you send to the head office."

Jude: "These ones look different."

Ellis: "You can tell? They all look the same to me."

Jude: "Shut your mouth if your eyes are rotting."

Ellis: "Yesss."

Jude: "So, care to explain this to me?"

Business partner: "Um..Ah..W-Well..it was a mistake..."

Jude: "No. You were trying to hide the inferior products and sell them at the high quality price, but you got caught."

Business partner: "......Ngh."

Jude: "Well, I'll let you off the hook this time."

Jude: "It's our fault that we made you believe that we're first timers and you guys could fool us with your shallow wits, right?"

Business partner: "Ha...Eh..?"

Jude: "Now you know, you can't fool me easily, right?"

Jude: "So if you try anything stupid like this again, I'll sink your whole ship, okay?"

Business partner: "Y-Yes...!! I understand. I'm sorry! Also...thank you very much."

............

Alphonse: *gasps* "Did you see that, Lord El? That evil look on his face. That's a scary blackmail, right? right?"

Elbert: "It's not nice to scam people.....we must also see this from Jude's perspective too."

Alphonse: "Yes yes. Thank you for your textbook answer."

Alphonse: "But that doesn't make the report interesting. Let's make some amendments."

Alphonse: "They were seen torturing and humiliating innocent civilians and Mr. Jude smiled at them cruelly...."

Elbert: "Al, lying is bad."

............

Ellis: "Ah....then."

Business partner: "Ah!?"

Ellis: "There have been some disturbing people going in and out the warehouse we rented these days...do you know anything about that?"

Business partner: "....!"

Ellis: "Ah, it's okay if you don't know. I just want to make sure you're not breaching the contract."

The counterparty, blue-faced and trembling, turns his gaze for a moment in horror towards the warehouse district.

He immediately returned his gaze to the front and shook his head sideways like a broken toy.

Ellis: "..............."

Jude: "....Whatever."

Jude: "You know what happens if you breach the contract anyways."

Ellis: "There's a trading company that buys these defective lots at a low price for shoddy goods, so you can take them there."

Ellis: "Here's the contact details of the representative. Good luck."

..............

Alphonse: "....Mr. Ellis, is taking care of the person who they themselves threated by helping them dispose their inventory..."

Alphonse: "He's so good....not worthy of being a Crown member to conquer evil with evil."

Alphonse: "We have to exaggerate this point as much as possible El......El?"

When Alphonse turned around, Elbert was...

Young woman: "Umm....I love you! Please tell me your name...Please...!!"

Sexy woman: "I'm rich and powerful in my home country. How about throwing away your mundane troublesome life here and let me keep you....what do you say?"

Painter with suspicious eyes: "You're a miracle of god...please come to my atelier, please...?"

Elbert was surrounded by passengers disembarking from a luxury cruise ship that had just arrived.

Elbert: "I...got some business over there-----"

Elbert was pushed further and further away by the waves of people approaching him one after another.

Alphonse: *sighs* "Looks like ducks eating breadcrumbs...."

Alphonse: "Let's cut the matter short and get on with it?"

Alphonse: "I hope they didn't notice us following them."

...........

Jude: ".....Ellis, you saw it too right?"

Ellis: "Yeah....what should we do? Do we catch them?"

Jude: "Nah."

Jude: ".......If you're going to do it, do it in one go."

............

Liam: "I wonder how El and Al are doing?"

William: "Let's wait for them patiently, first."

Liam: "Ah! They are here! ....Welcome home!!"

Alphonse: "............"

William: "You look gloomy. Did something happen?"

Liam: "Maybe they are spies after all...huh?"

Alphonse: "I have to reveal this terrible truth to you all."

Elbert: "...................Really?"

Alphonse: "Those two......have only been working all this time!!"

Liam: "Eeehhh!!? They are working!!??"

Elbert: "I don't think it's that shocking of a fact..."

Harrison: *sighs*"....What's going on?"

Alphonse: "They have been working so hard that I have nothing special to report. Isn't that insane?"

Elbert: "Jude is feared by people but Ellis is liked by people."

William: "So, do you think they are trustworthy?"

Elbert: "I don't know....yet."

Alphonse: "To be honest, I don't care."

Harrison: "......This didn't produce any results at all."

Liam: "Hahaha, the road ahead looks tough."

William: "Now that I think....I remembered something."

Harrison: ".....?"

William: "Roger must have known those two before they joined the Crown."

Harrison: "Huh!?"

William: "I think his story will help in determining whether they can be trusted or not."

Harrison: *sighs* "......It's lie when you said you just now remembered about asking Roger, isn't it?"

William: "Who can say?"

...........

Roger: "Yeah, so what do you want?"

Harrison: "Can you tell me anything you knew about Jude and Ellis before you came here?"

#ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #cybird #ikemen villain #ikemen villains #ikemen villains jude #ikemen villains ellis

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hotchs-second-wife · 4 months ago

Text

DON'T BLAME ME || 6 || Jay Halstead x Teddy Rhodes

Chapter Synopsis: When a fire scene causes the power to go out in the area, Jay worries about Thea's safety while Thea worries about everyone else's.

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of attempted murder; mention of a beating; brief description of a vehicular accident; spousal worries/concern for partner's life; split-second allusion to suicidal ideation; Elli's speech STILL fluctuates. Read ahead at your own risk.

Author's Note: I forgot to change up the chapter warnings for chapter five upon posting, so you can see what was planned for that chapter and later scrapped.

Jay

Usually when we finished with a case, we'd all go home. I'd give Brooke a lift home while she called her roommate to let her know she was on her way, and to see if she wanted something to eat. Usually I'd be planning to get comfortable in sweats and a tank, or just sweats sometimes, and call Thea when I got home. Elizabeth would stay at Brooke's until Kelly finished his shift and picked her up.

Usually, I wouldn't be in the bullpen by now and wanting to be throwing my computer over Hawkins' and Lindsay's heads and out the window.

"Someone's missing his wife," Ruzek teased, a knowing smirk on his face.

Brooke laughed beside me. "She's probably thinking he's dead." I looked at her, and she shoved her phone into my hand. She knew my phone died half an hour ago, but I didn't think to bring my charger to work this morning and I had to let it die. "Call her, Halstead. She might not be losing her mind, but she'd still be expecting a phone call. Even if you're not shirtless."

"You've been calling your wife shirtless while she's in shift?" Ruzek teased, as I slipped into the break room to call my wife. Zero-three-two-one. Elizabeth's birthday was easy to remember when it was her aunt and your best friend's pin for her phone.

"Theodosia Rhodes; I can't come to the phone, so just leave a message. If it's CFD related, call Firehouse 51. If it's Dolan Rhodes related, call my store manager." Given she likely wouldn't check her voicemail for a week anyway, I sent her a text to call me on Brooke's number when she got the chance.

As soon as I hit send, the lights started to flicker and everything turned off.

"Ruzek, what did you touch?"

"Nothing!"

"Uh huh."

I gave Brooke back her phone as I sat back at my desk. I felt everyone but Brooke and Dawson were staring at me weirdly and I knew what it was about. My lack of reaction to the power outage. "First off, I've been in worse conditions. Second, my wife has to have all the lights off at our apartment or she can't sleep straight."

"Is that why she looks half asleep when she comes in during her shifts?" Lindsay asked with a frown.

Brooke reasoned, "they can't exactly turn off all the lights in the bullpen at 51 while there's people filling out paperwork."

Thea mentioned she was getting different blinds for her office windows to block out a good portion of the light from bullpen, but it was on her own dollar and the CFD wouldn't cover it, so it was taking a while to get to the firehouse even on express delivery.

"I might be rich, but that doesn't improve delivery times and traffic."

The backup generators kicked in and the lights flickered to a start, as the computers rebooted themselves and I noticed the file I hadn't saved was blank again. I internally groaned as Brooke answered her phone.

"Yeah, we're good...no, I'm still at work...of course, Jay's here. He's my way home...yeah, I can tell him...are you okay?...alright, I'll come see you guys soon...tell her I said hi!" She held her phone to her neck as she leaned to me. "51 was on a call; Teddy's okay, her phone was in the truck; she said she'll call back soon; and she's picking up my grandparents and Elli to have them at 51 with her and Kelly. Oh, and when we're done here, you can meet my sister."

"Thought you only had a brother," Olinsky, frightening us a little, piped in front him secluded desk.

Brooke hummed. "As it turns out, my dad got a woman he cheated on my mom with pregnant and I have a 21-year-old chef as a half-sister."

"Do you like her?" Lindsay asked, and suddenly we were all about Brooke's family issues. She didn't blame Katie, as her sister's name was, since it was Katie's mom that slept with a married man and their dad that slept with another woman while married.

While they talked about the Severides, I got to texting Thea. The first message was just a 'be careful' one, knowing the dark can make people lose their minds. When she sent a 'you too', I stopped myself from liking the message since I was still on Brooke's phone. I passed it back, and I turned to Ruzek for a charger. I wanted to talk to her on my phone.

Thea

Once Elli was settled with Katie, watching her cook in the kitchen, I checked on Kelly's grandparents and made sure they were comfortable in my office.

"Thank you, Thea." Kent shook my hand in both of his. "My grandson's got a good woman looking out for him."

I smiled, knowing that Kelly cherished their support with Elli. "Always, Kent. You're family."

"You too, kiddo." His attention was back on Agatha, and I left them to each other's company. Kent knew he just had to call out to Connie if they needed me, or Kelly for that matter.

As I walked around the firehouse, keeping an eye on the civilians, I noticed Boden talking to one of the women from a building fire some days ago. I sent him a simple nod with a knowing smile before checking in on Elli and Katie. Surely Katie was getting a little overwhelmed with how many people she and Cruz were cooking for.

"How's Auntie Katie doing, Principessa?" I hugged Elli's little body as I stopped behind her to watch the cooking over her head.

"Her cooking is better than Daddy's," Elli waved her sticky hands in my face to prove her point.

Katie smiled guiltily beside the stove. "She stuck her fingers into the sauce before I even noticed."

I shook my head, making sure Elli knew she couldn't do that, before I turned my attention back to Katie. "She gets it from Kelly, he can't help sticking his grimy hands into food either, and Brooke's the same. Might be the Severide genes."

"I can guarantee I will use a spoon," Katie laughed. I went to add something about her family's genetics, chalking up to the fingers-in-food thing to being Kelly's mother as we walked around to the bigger dining table, when a crashed and bang interrupted me.

A man was slamming a younger guy into the table, and Kelly and Boden rushed to separate them. I passed Elli to Katie, who held her niece closer to her shoulder. The man, after being shoved into the metal counter by Kelly, stole a knife from Cruz and waved it at everyone.

Kelly raised his hands in front of him. "Put the knife down, and get out."

"That guy's drunk brother put my niece in a coma!" The man shouted, pointing the knife at the kid he was beating up, before moving it on Kelly.

"We're not going to say it again," I pointed a finger at him. I doubted it would do anything, but it was worth a shot. "Put the damn knife down and get out."

The man didn't move for a moment, staring at me, before he moved to rush Kelly and jump the kid again. Before he reached Kelly, I threw my head into his torso and pushed him into the round table as civilians previously sitting there fled. As I got my arms around him, the man slashed at me and I backed off instinctively.

My self-defence trainer had stopped training me since I started in the CFD when I was 18, so I knew I was a little rusty but the ache in my shoulder really shouldn't have felt as bad as it did.

The man swiped the knife at my face, the tip grazing my cheek and causing me to back up even more. Kelly rushed him, shoving the man into the counter again and making him drop the knife. Once the weapon was gone, Kelly grabbed the guy by the back of his neck and dragged him outside. Boden followed, silently telling me to stay put with the civilians.

I checked on Elli, who was crying from watching her parents get in a fight, and made sure Katie wasn't too panicked. When the guys came back inside, Kelly did the same and wiped the blood from my face.

Boden talked to the on-looking civilians, reassuring their safety, before he turned to us. A couple of my guys had appeared during the fight, and stood nearby. "Keep a look out for anyone wanting a fight; you do what Kelly just did and throw them out in the snow."

The guys and I nodded, knowing Boden was meaning us mostly, given our training. I patched up the cut on my face in the bathroom, as Gabby poked her head inside. "Jay's looking for you."

He was waiting in my office by the time I found him, and as soon as he saw the bandage on my face, Jay lifted his hand for his finger to lightly graze the plastic cover. "Shay called Brooke and said you'd been scratched. She didn't say anything about a knife until we got here though."

"I'm okay." I didn't even believe myself so much that my voice was shaky.

The frown he gave me was a dead giveaway he didn't believe me either. "Thea..."

Thank god Kent and Agatha weren't in my office, because as soon as my nose felt tight and my shoulders started shaking, I started crying and holding onto Jay's shirt.

I was terrified. Mortified that I could've been stabbed, and Elli would've seen her mom get stabbed. She saw her mom fighting. The only thing worse than that was seeing her mom get stabbed. I was doing everything I could to make sure Elli didn't have the same childhood as me, and I let my teenage self take over.

As soon as I met Herrmann and I knew I wanted to be a firefighter, I was going to put my fighting instincts behind me and I'd be a better person than teenage me was. When Elli was born, and I knew she needed a mother, I promised little newborn her that I would do everything I could to make sure she didn't see that version of me.

The version of me that punched first and asked questions later. The version of me that ignored how much her grief affected her that she hurt everyone around her.

But as scared as I was that my toddler saw me any differently, I was scared I was going to die. I didn't want to die. Sometimes I did, but in that moment? No way. I had people to live for now.

I had a husband, who I might not have married because I was in love with him, but I was in love with the time I spent in his company. I had a little girl who needed a mother. I had a best friend who needed my help raising his baby girl, because he was scared he'd end up being another version of his father.

I had a husband. We would have kids eventually. He would need their mother around as they grew up. Those kids needed their mother around. They needed their mother around. They needed their mother around.

"Theodosia, look at me." Jay's voice came through all the voices in my head, and I realised he had been holding my face for at least a few minutes. One thumb grazed over the bandage, and the other wiped the tears from the left side of my face. "You're okay, now. The bastard comes back to get you, I'll kick his ass before he comes in the door. I'm not letting him hurt you."

I bit my lip to stop the tears, just staring at Jay's face. Counting his freckles to calm myself down; his eyes were a really pretty shade of green. They were so much prettier with the freckles all over his face too. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"You didn't need to do anything to deserve someone caring about you, Thea. It's about time someone makes sure you know that. You're amazing, Thea, and I know Elizabeth looks up to you more than anyone."

"Teddy." I murmured, receiving a confused frown. "You can call me Teddy. We've been together long enough now."

Jay smiled. "Great. I was starting to get jealous of Brooke being able to call you that."

"Oh, ha ha. Very funny."

"I am very funny, aren't I?" He grinned, looking a little too prideful.

We didn't get any more alone time, as Brooklyn threw open my office door. I was sure she was more worried about me than her brother, and she was ready to shoved Jay out of her way so she could take care of me.

"I'm okay, B. You two can head back to the district, I'm sure you're needed more there." I squeezed her hands with a little smile. As much as I liked Brooklyn, I felt bad taking any sympathy from her. She was younger than me, and she really didn't need to worry about me; her brother did that enough. "As long as Katie and Elli are okay, you need to get back."

Brooklyn gave Jay a look, before she nodded and she bid goodbye. Jay squeezed my hand before following after her. The sweetheart that Gabby told me about was starting to show, or maybe he always was one and I just didn't notice.

#chicago fire #one chicago #chicago pd #one chicago oc #jay halstead #kelly severide #theodosia rhodes

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nalgenewhore · 2 years ago

Text

the way old friends do

rowan x aelin, elide x lorcan, modern au/neighbours au/platonic soulmates au, word count: 2920

Winter had finally arrived in Orynth, and Aelin could not have been happier. She used to loathe her commute home, when she had to trudge through the dreary downtown core which was a jungle of concrete and glass skyscrapers. Snow made everything better, she decided.

Aelin loved everything about winter. The snow was her favourite part, of course, and the fashion. With all the necessary layers, the possibilities were endless.

She tucked her chin into her soft scarf as the wind picked up and blew snowflakes into her red cheeks, but even that wasn’t enough to dim her cheer.

Her love for layering inevitably bit her in the ass when she got to her door after having climbed up to the fourth floor. Aelin panted a bit, positively drowning in her sweat.

She swung her bag around to dig for her keys. Just as she found them, buried under all her other junk, the door across from hers opened. Aelin turned and smiled easily at her handsome neighbour. “Hey there. Fancy meeting you here,” she teased.

Rowan huffed a soft laugh, stepping out into the hall. “I thought I heard someone huffing and puffing up those stairs.” He walked over to her.

Aelin gasped in offence. “How dare you?” She hit his chest with her leather gloves.

He cupped her face in his hands, still chuckling when he leaned down to kiss her. “Come over,” Rowan murmured. “Feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Humming against her boyfriend’s lips, Aelin thought for a moment. “I don’t know…” she said as she pulled away, “I wouldn’t want to interrupt your peace and quiet with all my huffing and puffing, would I?”

Rowan smirked, “Well, maybe I can make you huff and puff for another reason.” The moment the words left his mouth, he wrinkled his nose and grimaced. Aelin did the same. “That was… bad. But still, come over? Please?”

She laughed before kissing him again and letting him pull her over to his door. “Yeah, I’ll let you make it up to me for that horrible line.”

The look he gave her, pine green eyes smouldering, made her stomach twist deliciously.

“Oh, I will.”

✵✵✵✵✵

A while later, the only sound that filled Rowan’s room was soft pants, though it wasn’t Aelin huffing and puffing this time.

She grinned proudly as he rolled over, effectively pinning her to the bed, again. “Round three, already?” Aelin purred, her arms twisting around his neck.

Rowan kissed her, but he didn’t push further than that. “Not yet,” he said. He brushed her hair back from her forehead, looking utterly satisfied with himself. Pushing himself off of her, Rowan got out of bed and donned his previously discarded pants. “I’m going to shower.”

Aelin lifted her arms above her head and shamelessly stretched her bare body like a cat. “Mmm,” she groaned, easing the light strain in her muscles. A smug grin pulled at her plump lips when Rowan’s appreciative gaze burned over her skin. “I’m gonna eat something and call Ellie.”

Her boyfriend made a little face. “Why’re you calling Elide? You saw her this morning, didn’t you?”

“So?” Aelin asked, frowning. “I have to tell her I won’t be home tonight. She’ll worry if I don’t.”

Aelin lounged in his bed for a couple more minutes before finally rousing. She put on one of his t-shirts and used a pair of his boxers as shorts.

She wandered into his apartment while she tapped Elide’s number into her phone, but when she passed by Rowan’s roommate’s room, she paused. “Ellie?” she said, moving to stand in Lorcan’s doorway.

Elide was in her own boyfriend’s bed, although while he slept, she was working on a knitting project Aelin hadn’t seen yet. She was about seventy-five percent sure that it was her birthday gift. Aelin was excited – that rich maroon wool was gorgeous, and she’d always wanted a piece made exclusively by Elide.

Her friend smiled, her hands stilling. “Ae,” she all but squealed. Elide put down her knitting, then covertly covered it with the blanket. “What’re you doing here? I thought you were working late tonight.”

“Oh,” Aelin waved her hand dismissively, “I finished early, and Rowan caught me outside.”

Elide smiled, gesturing her inside.

Aelin didn’t hesitate, nevermind the unconscious man. “Have we ever spent the night at the same time?” She gasped, oddly ecstatic about that. It seemed fun, for whatever reason.

“I don’t think so,” Elide said, clutching hands with Aelin. “It’s kinda fun.”

“Right?”

They went silent when Lorcan sighed deeply, but the man only turned over mid-sleep and slept facing away from them. Elide capitalised on the opportune space. “Sit, sit with me.”

Aelin frowned a bit, nodding her chin towards the mass of man behind Elide. “He won’t think it’s weird?”

“Probably, but he’s asleep,” Elide reasoned.

Aelin didn’t need to be told twice.

✵✵✵✵✵

When Lorcan woke up, he wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep. He could feel someone next to him. The knowledge that it was Elide made the corners of his mouth curl up. He turned over, instinctively reaching for her.

He froze when his hand landed on a waist that was certainly not Elide’s. Without daring to breathe, Lorcan looked over and saw his worst nightmare. Quickly, he snatched his hand back, but not quickly enough to avoid waking Elide and Aelin.

Two pairs of eyes opened up to stare at him, though the girls themselves remained motionless as they spooned.

“Are you serious,” he asked, his voice deadpanned. “In my bed, right next to me?” Lorcan glared at Aelin before levelling his eyes on his girlfriend.

Elide gently moved Aelin’s arm to sit up. She smiled sleepily at him, looking so soft and joyful that he couldn’t stay mad. “Hi, baby,” she whispered. Her fingers came to rest on his jaw and the side of his neck while she kissed him.

He melted a bit, wrapping his arm around Elide’s waist, fully indulging in her embrace.

She hummed in appreciation. Elide pressed a little closer, putting her other hand on his chest while she sucked on his bottom lip.

The thought of Aelin was shoved to the back of his mind, out of sight.

At least it was, until someone started flicking the back of his hand.

Lorcan pulled away from Elide abruptly. “What the fuck?” Over Elide’s shoulder, he narrowed his eyes at the blonde menace, who was still flicking his hand. “Aelin.”

“You’re interrupting.”

Elide looked over at her friend. She clicked her tongue, “Honey, play nice” She batted Aelin’s hand away from Lorcan, then distractedly kissed his cheek. “Sorry, baby. Aelin, say sorry to Lorcan.”

“Sorry to Lorcan.”

“Aelin,” Elide chided.

“It’s fine.” Lorcan wasn’t the smartest man, but he knew when to pick his battles. Even if he was the smartest man, he would never try to come between Elide and Aelin. It was a suicide mission. Instead, Lorcan just smoothed his hand over Elide’s head. “Do you two want tea?”

“Ooh, yes,” Elide said.

Aelin piped up as she wrapped her arms around Elide from behind. “Yes, please.” She addressed Elide, “Ain’t he sweet? You trained him good.”

He gave her a simpering smile. Admitting defeat, he got out of bed and scrubbed his eyes. He grabbed a hoodie and pulled it over his head. “Alright, I’ll be back.”

As he left, Aelin and Elide resumed their cuddling position, though they faced each other.

Nothing about their friendship was what he considered normal. When he first started dating Elide, it freaked him out, but he’d gotten used to it. It took him a while to learn his lesson, though. Lorcan still didn’t completely understand it. All he knew was that Elide loved Aelin like no one else, and Aelin felt the same about Elide.

In the hallway, he ran into Rowan, who was exiting the bathroom. “Hey.”

“Hey, man. Is Elide over?”

He nodded, “Yeah, she’s with Aelin.”

Rowan frowned a bit. “Where?”

“In my bed.” Lorcan answered with a flat look.

His roommate started a bit. “Wha- doing what?”

He shrugged, “Napping, I guess.”

Rowan crossed his arms. “Napping?”

“Mm-hmm. They’re cuddling.”

“In your bed?”

“What did I just say?” Lorcan frowned. “Are you stupid, or something?” He shook his head and made to go into the kitchen. He was hungry. Lorcan figured after he made their tea, he’d make dinner too. Maybe a stir-fry.

Of course, he’d make enough for Elide, and if he made enough for Elide, he’d have to make some for Aelin. Neither of them ate meat, but he had tofu, so that wasn’t an issue. He’d probably have to make some for Rowan too. “You want stir-fry? I’m making some for Lee and Aelin.”

Rowan snorted, “My girlfriend just kicked you out of your own bed to cuddle with your girlfriend, and you’re making her food.”

“So?”

His shoulders shook with laughter. “You’re whipped, man. What happened to you?”

Again, Lorcan shrugged. It didn’t really bother him anymore. He’d been dating Elide longer than Rowan had been dating Aelin, and he’d known her before then, too. “If you wanna go and tell Aelin to get out, be my guest.” It’s your funeral, he thought.

Rowan straightened his shoulders and rolled his neck. “Maybe I will.”

Lorcan held in his laughter. “Maybe you should. What are you, chicken?” He taunted his friend with an arched brow.

“I’m not chicken.”

Laughing, Lorcan went, “Bawk, bawk, bawk.”

“If I’m a chicken, then you’re a little bitch. You let them walk all over you,” Rowan accused. He lifted his chin in challenge. “Watch this.”

“Oh, I will.” Lorcan leaned against the counter as he watched his friend saunter towards his room.

Less than a minute later, Rowan came back, looking like a whipped dog with its tail between its legs. High-pitched cackles followed him, and Lorcan didn’t bother hiding his smirk. “How’d it go?”

“Shut it,” Rowan growled. “Fuck, they’re terrifying, why didn’t you tell me?”

Lorcan chuckled unkindly, “You had to learn.” His roommate sent him a murderous glare. The kettle started to boil, and he nodded his chin towards it. “Can you get that? They want tea.”

It seemed Rowan had gotten the message that Elide and Aelin’s requests should always be acquiesced. He filled two mugs, leaving them to steep. Leaning his hip against the counter, he pressed, “C’mon, don’t you find it a bit,” Rowan made a face, “weird that they cuddle like that?”

“Not really. They tell me we’re missing out on the,” Lorcan made air quotes, “‘joys of platonic physical intimacy’, whatever that means.”

“I hope you know I’m perfectly fine missing out on physical intimacy with you,” Rowan retorted.

Lorcan held his hand to his heart like he’d been shot. “Damn, Ro. You really know how to let a guy down easy.”

“Shut up, dumbass.”

After another minute, the girls came out of Lorcan’s room, chatting amongst themselves. Elide pranced over to Lorcan and wound her arms around his waist. “Can I help with dinner?”

“Mmm, no, it’s ok,” Lorcan told her. “I'm thinking mee goreng."

“Ooh, that sounds good,” Elide smiled. She half-turned to address the other couple who were similarly entwined by the island. “Do you two want to watch a movie tonight? There’s that new whodunit that looks fun.”

Aelin nodded, “Movie night! Rowan, you in?”

“Mm-hmm,” he nodded. He exchanged a look with Lorcan, the both of them communicating that neither one of them really had a choice in the matter.

Lorcan leaned down to kiss Elide’s head. “Why don’t you go sit down, and I’ll make dinner?”

Elide didn’t need much convincing to seat herself at the kitchen island and wait for their meal to be made. Shortly after she did, Aelin joined her while Rowan fixed their teas to each of their likings.

“What agreeable boyfriends we have,” Elide teased. She delicately sipped, then grinned at Rowan, “Thank you, Rowan. It’s perfect.”

The silver-haired man inclined his head. “My pleasure.” He left the women to their teas, first going to change before he returned to help Lorcan with dinner.

Some years ago, the two of them had met while working in the same restaurant. They had both been hired as chefs until Rowan decided he preferred being behind the bar than in the kitchen. While neither still worked at the same restaurant and Rowan had moved on from the industry entirely, they’d stayed close friends after.

When Aelin and Elide finished their mugs of tea, Rowan made them their preferred cocktails – a French 75 and a gin and tonic, respectively. He gave them a plate of snacks to tide them over for the time being.

The women took their appetisers and moved to the living room to start their movie.

In the kitchen, Rowan and Lorcan moved just like old times. Efficient, flawless, knowing what one another needed with minimal communication.

Aelin sipped on her delicate, sparkling drink. She studied Elide with twinkling eyes. “So, Ellie, I saw your new knitting project. Anything special?”

Her friend looked back at her, a knowing grin ghosting over her heart-shaped lips. “I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about, my dear,” she answered.

“Alright, Lochan,” Aelin narrowed her eyes. “Keep your secrets. You know I won’t rest until I figure it out.”

“Things will come to you when they come to you,” warned Elide , “and not a minute sooner.” Aelin might be a word-class sneak, but Elide was well practised in foiling Aelin’s attempts. She drank some more of her cocktail while the guys finished up in the kitchen.

They snacked on Rowan’s first offerings, talking about their days.

Just as they finished their drinks, new ones were delivered alongside bowls of fragrant, steaming mee goreng.

Aelin moved to sit with Rowan on the loveseat, leaving the dark-haired couple on the oversized armchair.

Elide smiled as Lorcan took his seat next to her, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, love.” She curled into his side while he wrapped an arm around her. “And thank you, too, Rowan.”

He inclined his head, “You’re welcome, Elide.”

As she took her first bite, Elide groaned in satisfaction. “Babe,” she mumbled around her full mouth, “is so good!” With another hum, she used her chopsticks to push more noodles into her mouth.

Lorcan smiled and dug into his own bowl as Rowan started the movie.

If either one of them thought they could enjoy a peaceful movie-watching, they were kidding themselves.

Aelin and Elide took great delight in theorising who the real killer was. Their cunning minds solved and subsequently ruined the plot for their boyfriends, who had been perfectly happy to remain unaware.

“I told you the ruby necklace was important,” Elide declared.

To be honest, neither Rowan nor Lorcan had noticed the ruby necklace. Her boyfriend just gave her a congratulatory kiss before the men got up to tidy.

Elide moved to sit with Aelin. They pored over the plot, exchanging clues the other hadn’t picked up on and devising conspiracies for the next movie.

They stopped short of re-watching the same film, if only because Rowan had set up some work he needed to get done at the kitchen table. Aelin pranced over to him, giving him a hug and expressing her gratitude for their delicious dinner.

Elbows locked together, the duo retreated to Rowan’s room to continue their conspiratorial conversation.

✵✵✵✵✵

It was just past midnight when Rowan shut off his laptop. He scrubbed his eyes as he got to his feet, then yawned.

Rowan padded through the quiet, dark apartment to his bedroom. His roommate’s door was shut, and while he hadn’t seen anything, Rowan assumed Elide had gone to sleep with him.

He was mistaken though as he walked into his room, stopping short. Rowan stared at his bed, where Aelin and Elide were peacefully snoozing. The smaller brunette slept with her head nestled on his girlfriend’s shoulder, Aelin’s arm wrapped snugly around her.

The scene was entirely too similar to the position he typically found himself in with Aelin.

As he stood silent, Rowan sorely weighed his options. If he woke them up to demand his bed back as well as his girlfriend, then he’d be incurring the wrath of the both of them. Plus, if he did that, then upsetting Elide would no doubt set Lorcan on the warpath.

Resignedly, Rowan sighed to himself and grabbed his sleep pants before retreating. He got changed in the bathroom, then walked to the bedroom across from his.

Opening the door made Lorcan wake up. He made a noise in the back of his throat, “Ro?”

“Your girlfriend,” Rowan all but growled, “stole my bed. And my girlfriend.”

Lorcan’s laugh was rough from sleep. He flipped the other half of his duvet up and tossed a pillow onto the empty side. “You can sleep here, but we are not spooning, I don’t care how much you want to.”

“I would rather live in Hellas’ cold, dark realm before I spoon you.”

As it turned out, the next morning, when Rowan woke up more rested and refreshed than he could remember being, he was pressed against Lorcan’s side.

Lorcan’s eyes slit open when he felt someone staring at him. He looked down at Rowan, his eyes widening only for a minute before he smirked. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could ya?” he laughed.

Without shifting positions, Rowan put his head back down, “Shut up, dumbass.

✵✵✵✵✵

an: arent they cuuuuuttttiiieeesssss <3

tag list (lmk if u want to be added!): @sassyhobbits @empress-ofbloodshed @the-regal-warrior @celestialams @icecream52 @elentiyawhitethorn

#elorcan #rowaelin #elide x lorcan #rowan x aelin #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #aelin galythinius #rowan whitethorn #nalgenewhore #isa writes

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ofpineapplesanddawns · 6 months ago

Text

Still thinking about the Vardy au, so here's a little thing with them talking to each other. This is... probably before their relationship really got started, but there's some developing things between them.

As always with this au, Hardy is a vampire (and he's terrible at it, but he's been alive for nearly a century so something's working), and Lucian shows up in Broadchurch to chase down some creatures causing trouble. He ends up joining the investigation to help.

On with the fic!

"You said tea is something you can drink? Ellie told me to give it to you, and she said, in her own words, 'that he better drink every last damn drop'."

Hardy looked up at the man standing before him and his desk, holding a take-away cup in each hand. He scowled, of course Miller was telling Lucian things, she seemed to trust him far more than Hardy did.

"Did she make it?" He asked, taking the cup handed to him.

"She did, said it had exactly what you needed in it."

He popped the lid off and sniffed it, blood, and the office's typical brand of black tea. He wondered where she got the blood, is she hiding a stash so she makes sure he actually consumes some outside of his blood pills? Uhg.

He put the lid back on and took a sip, he would never admit that she knew exactly how to make tea the way he liked it best. Hardy watched as Lucian sat down on the couch across from him, drinking from his own cup.

"Did you need something?" Hardy asked, setting his glasses on his face before grabbing for one of the files on his desk.

"I am a bit curious about something."

"And that would be?"

"Why are you so resistant to consuming blood when you know you need it? Your friend has to sneak it into your drinks, and I've seen her put it on whatever food she brings you." Lucian leaned forwards, elbows on his knees, a studious look on his face. Hardy hated it when people tried to read him.

He glanced at the cup of tea, making a face at it. "I have no choice but to accept that I am a vampire, but that doesn't mean I have to do everything those beasts do."

"Blood is necessary."

"I have my ways of consuming it."

"You mean the pills? The dry blood you keep on your person?"

Hardy glared at him now. "It works."

Lucian sighed and leaned back. "I am still unsure of your vampire kind, but I have met quite a number of them in my long life. And yours? I am very... confused by it. I have seen vampires who have avoided drinking fresh blood, only to go feral. My kind's vampires drank from animals, and humans, but soon learned to make a synthetic blood. I know those who feed from animals, do you?"

"No, I don't like the taste, but I'll drink it if I have to." Hardy said, setting aside the file, grabbing another one instead. "And I do have blood bags at home, I just try to not drink it around people except my family. And Miller, but that's only because she found out."

"I see. It confuses me that you also consume blood with human food, does that help?"

"You sure have a lot of questions."

"Like you, detective, I am a curious person." Lucian smiled and Hardy huffed at him.

He took a drink from the tea and set it aside. "It's strange, I can eat a few things, mainly meat, but it has to be... iron-rich? I guess it helps if I'm not drinking blood. Toast is weird, doesn't bother me, but most foods make me sick or tastes like ash. It's a weird side-effect, but it helps to blend in. Why do you want to know these things?"

Lucian stared at him and Hardy frowned, feeling nervous. "I'm worried about you."

"You don't know me, you have no reason to." Hardy stated without much thought.

"I am allowed to worry about you."

"Why?"

He watched the lycan rise from the couch, he just smiled at Hardy as he walked out of the office, closing the door behind him. Hardy sat there quietly for a moment, completely confused by what just happened.

Why would Lucian worry about him? It's not like he cares.

Right?

#good omens extended universe #the vardy au #lucian x alec hardy #john's drabbles

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youvebeenlivingfictionalnbcyoa · 2 years ago

Text

You Definitely Are

Starting Choose Your Own Adventure Post

Warnings: Fluff; cursing

Yes, you’re tired. Yes, your knee hurts. But you didn’t come all this way to stay in your room and not get any face-time with Bateman. If that had been the plan, you never would’ve shown at all.

“Yeah,” You nod. “Yeah, I’ll be there. But, um—” You try not to get sidetracked by the way Nathan’s eyes seem to brighten with intrigue, “If I’m gonna be there, I should probably, you know. Shower and stuff.”

“Of course. C’mon.”

Nathan waves you after him, leading the way out of the room. You trail him back to the elevator, pass still in hand. It’s just another floor down before Nathan is nodding you toward a keypad in the hall. You raise your pass to it almost hesitantly, as if you expect him to lead you don't think it’ll work—as if you expect him to lead you wrong. Maybe you do, a little. You don’t exactly trust his instincts; he did invite you all up on a seemingly tipsy whim.

Nonetheless, the keypad changes color; you hear the lock click. You pull the door open and step inside, looking around. The room is large, and furnished more nicely than you’d expected. You shrug your bag off, dropping it at the end of the bed and drifting deeper inside. You lightly trail your fingers over the end of the bed, looking at the screen, then down at the small glowing fridge.

“Like it?” Bateman asks.

“It’s nice,” You nod, glancing back at him.

“Nicer than you thought?”

“Way nicer than I thought,” You nod. “I figured you’d be one of those like, weirdly stingy rich guys. I was expecting an air mattress.”

“I can get you an air mattress.”

“I said I was expecting it, not that I want it.”

“What else were you expecting?”

“Well,” You sigh, planting your hands on your hips, “I was hoping you’d actually turn up to the field in, like, a Jeep from the set of Jurassic Park.”

“Maybe get Will to do the, uh—The sunglasses pull off when I pull up to the facility.”

“He’d do it.”

“So you would be the Ellie Satler in that scenario?”

“Eesh, I don’t know. I think if he gripped and turned my head, I’d sock him in the stomach.”

Nathan chuckles, turning from you. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

“What are we having?”

“Fun.”

“What are we eating,” You clarify.

“You’ll see.”

Nathan gives you one more smile before he leaves, shutting the door behind himself. You find yourself biting your lip as he goes, your hand rising to scrub over your warming neck. Okay. So maybe you shouldn't be all that worried about the next few days.

You try not to find the fact that William and Dan are still in their hiking clothes too funny. Dan at least looks pretty cute. He's always been a handsome man—towering over the rest of you at 6'4, he has dark skin and an athletic build. Frankly, he looks pretty good in his hiking clothes. But William looks like he went to hell and back and didn’t even get a t-shirt while he was down there. He looks miserable. It almost makes helping him with his bags worth it. You look away from him, eyeing your plate and poking at the few remaining pieces of pasta.

“So,” Nathan shifts in the seat beside you, taking hold of his wine and taking it up. “Obviously we’ll have a few days to get down to the real nitty-gritty, you know, the harsh stuff, but let’s just do a friendly little thought experiment.”

You raise your brows, glancing between the guys and Nathan as he goes on—

“In your opinion, given the knowledge of the market and your previous work experience, am I taking the company in the right direction?”

The question plunges you all into tense silence. It’s as if you’re all afraid to look around, afraid to breathe—as if Nathan’s just passed awful gas and not asked a simple question. But it’s not a simple question, is it, or a friendly little thought experiment, as he said.

It’s a test.

You never did like tests.

“Absolutely—”

“I couldn’t think of a better direction—”

Dan and William practically trip over themselves to answer, and you can hardly stop your eye roll. It’s done with such force that it tips your head to the side. Within seconds, you feel the weight of their gazes.

“...I’ve got two answers,” Nathan pipes up. “Am I gonna get a third?”

“You want more of the same?” You ask.

“I want honesty.”

“You really think that what you just got from them was honest?”

It flies out of your mouth, and it’s a mistake. This dinner is supposed to be nice and light, something easy to set the tone for the next few days. Now, not only are you the only dissenting opinion, but you just technically threw your fellow Chief Officers under the bus in front of the company’s founder and CEO.

“...You don’t think it was?” Nathan presses.

Shit. You clear your throat, running your finger along the stem of your wine glass.

“I don’t think…That Dan and William spoke outta their ass, but I think they were kissing yours a little when they did,” You admit before glancing doggedly at the two men across the table. “No offense, guys.”

“None taken,” Dan raises his glass in a cheers. William says nothing, just grunts and slides down in his seat a little.

“So?” Nathan presses. “What’s your answer, honest or otherwise?”

You scoff a scornful laugh, unable to help it. “What can I say without you busting my balls or thinking I’m jumping on the band wagon here?”

“You must think I’m heading in the right direction if you’re worried about that.” His smile is smug as he says so. You push a sigh out through your nose, directing your gaze toward the ceiling as you consider.

“I think the way you’re headed, yeah, it suits the market. But we’re lagging behind in certain areas and that makes me nervous.”

“Which areas?—Don’t say chat AI—”

“Look, like it or not, Microsoft got out of the gate first and Google’s jumping to catch up,” You speak up. “You have the resources, you have the data, and…I don’t know what the fuck you’re waiting for to enact it, but,” You wave your hand. “We’ve been market leaders and now it’s going to seem like we’re falling behind because Microsoft wanted to show everyone how big their dick is. And like it or not, it's looking pretty big.”

The room is a different kind of quiet. It’s testy, and nerve wracking.

“...Shots!” Dan pipes up. “Y’all want shots? Will, let’s go, uh—” He shoves his chair back, “C’mon, I think I saw a bottle of tequila earlier.”

William moves slowly, and you’re not sure if he’s trying to catch in on any conversation, if he’s tired, or if he’s still stinging from the comment that you made. You look after them as they go before you redirect your gaze to Nathan. He’s shifted in his seat, gaze lingering heavily on your face.

“...Should I go update my resume?” You ask after a moment.

Nathan doesn’t answer before he pushes himself up from the table. Oh, what the hell—

“Come with me.”

You frown at the order, brows raising. Double what the hell—?

“Come on,” Nathan insists.

“What about—”

“Fuck them, get up,” He waves you toward him. “Let’s go.”

You hesitate before you groan, pushing yourself out of your seat and following him to the doorway. Is he going to lead you out into the woods and leave you to die or something?

“Where are we going?” You ask, quickening your pace to keep up as he leads you around the corner. Nathan doesn’t answer. He just raises his pass to a keypad and opens the door.

“Are you just gonna be all stony silent and…” You trail off, stepping in behind him. “And…” Your gaze sweeps across the row of monitors, the computer towers, the wall practically papered in post-its.

“And what?” Nathan pushes into your silence.

“And…Weird—What is this?” You take the document held out to you.

“Sign it,” He orders.

“Dude, let me read it first, I don’t sign shit all willy-nilly.” Your eyes scan the test, brow furrowing as you take it all in—

The signee agrees to regular data audit with unlimited access, to confirm that no disclosure of information has taken place, in public or private forums, using any means of communication, including but not limited to that which is disclosed orally or in written or electronic form…

“This is a fucking NDA,” You say.

“Loving that reading comprehension.”

You glance up as he holds a pen out, his brows raised in expectation.

“...What is this for?” You press.

“Sign it, and I will show you where all that fucking data is going. You want your answers, I’ve got them. But you’ve got to sign this, and you cannot tell anyone, including the guys.”

You frown, gaze sweeping over his face. You’re not sure if you trust him or not…But goddamn, you’re curious. You pluck the pen out of his hand, striding over to the table and setting the page down, scribbling your signature across it and dating the page.

“Leave it there,” Nathan orders. “And follow me.”

“Have you always been this bossy?” You grouse, hurrying to keep up again as he leaves the room.

The rows of lighted cases initially leave you with more questions than answers. You look around, frowning as you peer inside, and turning to look at Nathan as he reaches into a case. He’s holding an orb, a smooth, translucent surface with flickering lights and tendrils shifting beneath the surface.

“...What the hell is this?” You ask, leaning against the case and peering down into his hands.

“Wetware.”

“Which is…?”

“The basis of BlueBook’s next step.”

You’re quiet for a moment, hesitant as he passes it over to you. It’s a little lighter than you expected, far more squishy than you thought it would be.

“Is this a gel?” You ask, fighting the urge to squeeze it.

“Had to get away from circuitry. I needed something more malleable.” Nathan dips his head to catch and hold your eye. “This,” He points to the unit in your hand. “Is going to be more fucking significant than any of those chatbots. This is where we’re going.”

“...Why are you telling me this?” You shake your head. “You could’ve left me with my questions.”

“Because people like you are going to move this company forward.”

It sends a bolt of shock through you. You don’t expect it; you don’t expect him to be like this with you. And then he adds, “And me, obviously. Primarily,” And he’s the Nathan that you’ve gotten to know in limited situations all over again. Your surprise melts to fond amusement. You pass him the unit back, trying to ignore the slight tingling in your belly as your fingers brush. You fold your arms, watching as he tenderly sets the unit back down.

“So what does this go…In?” You ask after a moment, gaze flickering back to his.

“That is in process.”

“Am I gonna get kept in the loop, or is it all going to be one big surprise?”

Nathan considers you for a moment before he simply straightens, nodding toward the door.

“Let’s go find the guys,” He urges. “I was promised shots. Besides, you can’t keep throwing the guys under the bus if they’re not here.”

“That’s not true,” You scoff. “Don’t limit me.”

Nathan’s revelation is on your mind for the rest of the evening. You can’t knock it away, no matter how much you try—no matter how much enjoyment you get from knocking back drinks from the guys, and seeing Nathan try to teach William to dance. You find yourself leaning back against the couch, fingers tapping on your beer bottle as you remember the weight and feeling of the wetware in your hands. Your gaze flits to Nathan just in time to find him watching you. You expect him to look away, but instead, he smiles. You swipe your tongue over your lip before looking down at your drink again.

It’s just a moment before the music is turned down. You vaguely note the sound of William and Dan leaving the room, and the thud of Nathan plopping down on the coffee table in front of you.

“Where are they going?” You ask.

“More drinks.”

“They run dry already?”

“Mhm. What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing’s going on.”

“You have been dead silent for two hours.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’ve been too quiet.”

“I have…So many fucking questions,” You shake your head. Nathan is quiet for a moment before he reaches out, patting your knee.

“Tell you what,” He says, “I will throw time on the calendar tomorrow. You can ask whatever the fuck you want—Within reason.”

You raise your brows, looking up at him.

“Which topics are off-limits?” You ask.

“I’ll send them in the meeting notes.”

You smile, shaking your head and looking back down at your drink.

“You’re so fucking…You’re freaky, dude,” You mutter, scrubbing your hand over your face.

“Why’s that?”

“Your brain is terrifying. And I mean that in the best way, but sometimes you come out with something or you do stuff where I’m just like…How the fuck? Like, does he sleep?”

“I’ve been known to, yeah.”

“Every day?”

“That would be excessive.”

“Okay,” You scoff, setting your beer down. He doesn’t seem to even think or hesitate as he reaches out, taking your bottle up and taking a sip.

“Tell you what,” He adds. “Fuck the meeting tomorrow. Why don’t you stay on a few more days, we’ll go over the roadmap.”

“Within reason?”

“Within reason.”

You consider for a moment, pursing your lips.

“I’m gonna run out of clothes,” You point out.

“I’m sure I’ve got something you borrow. Barring that, and I realize this may shock you, but I do have a washing machine.”

“Oh, really? Thought you’d take your stuff to the river and pound it with a rock to get all of the stains out. You won’t run out of food, what with your whole one-man-in-the-middle-of-nowhere thing you got going? Am I gonna have to go out and hunt…Whatever the fuck wildlife is around here?”

“I won’t make you hunt-hunt, but if it’s more fulfilling for you, I can make it a scavenger hunt. You liked the hike, right?”

“I fucking hated the hike.”

“What!”

“Worst, like, hour and a half of my life.”

“Why the hell did it take you an hour and a half?”

“William spotted me and asked me to help him carry his shit.”

“You should’ve said no.“

“Well. I know that now.”

“Three more days. I’ll take you through all of it.”

“...Okay,” You agree after a moment. “Three more days.”

“Good.” Nathan takes another sip from your bottle before he passes the bottle back to you. “I’d uh…I’d cheers, but I’m empty, so we’re just gonna share.”

“Oh, we are? Thank you,” You reach out, taking the beer back from him. You raise your hand, saying, “Clink,” before you take a sip of your beer. Nathan chuckles, repeating, “Clink,” In a murmur.

#You Definitely Are

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