#Ellie and Sarah are sisters | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kkcauseway · 11 months ago

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Life- Joel's POV

Pairing: Joel Miller & f!reader Summary: Life from Joel's perspective. Content/warnings: TW-depictions of childbirth/sickness, lots of family fluff, like so fucking much...Joel Miller is just the most doting husband and father in the entire world! Protective!Joel, no use of Y/N, no outbreak. Characters: Joel Miller, Sarah Miller, Ellie Williams, Tommy Miller, Maria Miller & You Author note: I’m so in love with this I can’t 🥲 hope you enjoy x

Read Life here I Series Masterlist I Main Masterlist

Joel’s day starts off pretty good, for once they get the right size for the headers and so work can be done instantly rather than the usual delays they always seem to encounter on a job.

You weren’t awake when Joel got up for work this morning as you’d spent most of the night tossing and turning, and so when you finally do wake it's not too long before you call him. His phone rings and your name pops up on his screen, so he takes his gloves off and removes himself from the noise.

“Hey Baby, you okay how’d you sleep?”

‘I’ve been sick again, like a lot, I actually feel really bad this morning, but I did sleep for a few hours, I think… hope.’

“Oh Baby…” He sighs “you’ve definitely slept at least for a little cus you were dead to the world when I woke up. Do y’need me to come home?”

‘No no I’ll be okay, I just need to get some food and chill which is exactly what I’m gonna do.’

“Y’Sure you don’t need me, cus fuck work I’ll come?” he laughs.

‘Joel it’s fine, Sarah's still asleep, when she gets up, I’ll tell her we are having a movie day and she can pick, she’ll be happy. I know we don’t usually let her sleep in this late but it’s just easier like this. And I couldn’t face taking her to school today I know that’s bad but-’

“Y’aint gotta explain yourself to me Baby, I know you’re doin’ what’s best f’you. N'that girls smart enough, she can miss a day.” He interrupts.

‘Yeah, she’s our smart girl’ sniff ‘how’s work today?’ you end it with a yawn.

“Pretty good actually, they actually gave us the RIGHT size for the headers! So, we’ve been able to crack on!”

‘WOW! That’s a once in a blue moon occurrence. Today is obviously gonna be a good day!’ you laugh.

“Forever the optimist aren’t you Baby. I hope you’re right!”

‘Ugh hold that thought, I’m definitely gonna be sick again, I’ll speak to you later, kay?’

“Baby I hate you bein' like this, but okay y'look after yourself, and let me know if y’need me to come home. I love you”.

When he stops for lunch him and Tommy go to a local café and he texts you to check up on you, the baby had you up basically all of last night and with this bout of sickness hitting you on top, he knows you’re miserable even if you try to stay positive.

“Better check in with the Mrs” he utters to Tommy as he gets his phone out of his pocket.

“Sure, I’ll get these.” Tommy responds with a smile, walking to the counter whilst Joel sits down on a nearby table.

How you feelin Darlin?

He texts you and puts his phone back on the table as Tommy walks over with two BLT’S.

“How’s she doin?” Tommy asks taking a bite of his sandwich as he nods towards the phone.

“Mmm she’s not sleepin’ too good now, think she’s just ready for the baby to be here. I quite frankly am shittin’ myself at the prospect. And she’s been throwin’ up this mornin’ apparently, which is her worst fear. She hates bein' sick especially when m’not there”.

“Sounds like she’s havin’ a time of it, but she’s strong, plus, the dads are supposed t’shit themselves.” Tommy takes another bite. “Dads are supposed to be useless” he says mouth full, before swallowing “but y’all have done this once before so you know what to expect.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” he sighs.

His phone pings then, lighting up with your reply:

Not too bad, having a few pains, nothing like labour though don’t worry, just these fucking Braxton hicks givin me a run for my money on top of all the rest. We’re watching Cinderella so just chilling.

Awh my girls, and as long as you’re okay baby?

He looks to Tommy again. “She says she’s been havin’ pains, but not labour pains. Shit Tommy my heart just at that feels like it’s gonna beat out my fuckin’ chest” he chuckles nervously.

“Ahhh, you’ve got this big brother, no need for you t'shit yourself.”

He takes a big breath then. Looking down at your reply.

I’m okay, feeling no more tired or shitty than I have been. x

I’ll try my best to be home on time Baby. You just keep relaxing today, don’t let me find out you’ve been on your feet doing chores!

Yes sir, I promise. Love you. x

Love you too Darlin, see you tonight x

Joel gets home from work at 5pm, which is the first time in a long time he’s managed to keep good time. He actually makes it home before dinner is even cooking. As he walks in the door Sarah runs to him.

“Hi Daddy!”

“Hey babygirl, y’had a good day?”

“Yeah, it was sooo fun, Mama said I didn’t have to go to school, and I made you both a picture, she put it up in the kitchen!” she says bouncing on her feet.

“Did she now? Well, m’gonna have to go and check that out now aren’t I! Where’s your Mom at?”

“She’s sleeping; she told me to tell you to wake her up when you got home” she points to the living room.

“Okay thank you Baby, now why don’t you go run and get that picture from the kitchen an’ I’ll go check on your Momma?”

“Okay!” she runs into the kitchen.

Joel quietly moves through the house to find you without disturbing you. He find you so at peace wrapped in a blanket asleep. He sits next to you and just watches. God, he loves you so much. And boy is he thankful that you’ve finally managed to get some rest. It makes him smile.

Sarah runs back towards him then, with the picture in tow. “Look daddy!” she shouts as she jumps onto his lap shoving the picture in his face.

“Shhh baby, we’re gonna let Mama sleep some more, so we gotta be quiet okay, but lemme see” he takes it from her with one hand as the other cuddles round her waist.

“It’s you and Mama and me and the new baby!” she whispers as she points to the different people in the picture.

“Oh yeah wow! So, this is our first family portrait as a family of four huh? It’s beautiful I love it!” He kisses the top of her head.

“Thank you, Daddy, it made Mama cry when I showed her and then I felt sad, because she was sad!” She pouts.

“Oh, babygirl m’sure she wasn’t sad, m’sure she was happy, and it just made her a bit emotional.”

“Yeahhh, that’s what she said” she sighs “she said sometimes the baby makes her mind a little crazy.” That makes Joel laugh “So, I spoke to the baby and told them to stop, cus I don’t like it when Mama’s sad.”

He smiles at her, as the picture of you receiving that drawing from Sarah and how it would’ve made you tear up in an instant runs through his mind. You’d have been crying instantly unable to stop the tears, he had the same reaction; instantly watery eyed, but your emotions being so all over the place would’ve made it almost impossible to hide it, he was able to hide it; thank god. He can also imagine Sarah telling the baby off and it makes him chuckle.

“You’re such a good girl aren’t you. Thank you for looking after Mama for me today” he kisses the top of her head. “Now, how about you and I go and get some Chinese takeout for dinner, because we don’t want her cookin’ when she’s so tired do we? And we can leave her to sleep for longer in the quiet then?”

“Okay Daddy, I like that plan, I’ll go get my shoes! I’m gonna get my ones with the laces and try and do them myself again, but I’ll need your help daddy if I can’t.”

“Okay Baby” he whispers back to her laughing lightly.

Sarah jumps down from his lap and runs to get her shoes; he finds a piece of paper and writes a note to let you know where they’ve gone, in case you wake before he’s back. Leaving it next to where you’re sleeping. He tucks your blanket even tighter around you, before lightly kissing your head, you hum in your sleep, in response.

It’s whilst they’re waiting on the food that his phone pings again.

Baby needs spring rolls and lots of em please x

😂 I figured after last time don’t worry spring rolls secured x

God I love you x

They’re back within half an hour, Sarah instantly running to the kitchen to carefully get plates after she demanded she be the one to get them now she’s ‘a big girl who does her laces herself’. So Joel walks into the room finding you slowly moving your body as you exhale, a hand on the underside of your belly. Shit.

He puts the food on the coffee table.

“Baby what’s wrong?”

“Just another one of them stupid fake pains, I’m okay don’t worry.”

Joel feels himself getting nervous, thankfully the food helps that feeling to die back down.

At 8pm Joel puts Sarah to bed, as he’s tucking her in and goes to give her a kiss on her head, her very sleepy face is replaced with a quizzical look. He can see the cogs whirring in her mind at a sleepy pace.

“Daddy when’s the baby gonna come?” she questions following it by a yawn.

He squats next to her bed so he’s eye level as he talks to her “soon babygirl, any day now.”

“Mm, I had a dream last night the baby was already born and when I woke up and it wasn’t true, I was sad.”

“Soon baby you won’t need to feel sad about that, when the baby is here, we will have them forever, that’s excitin’ ain’t it?”

“Yeah! I can’t wait!”

“Now the sooner you go to sleep babygirl the closer we get to meetin’ the baby, time goes very fast when you sleep doesn’t it that’s what you always say? So shut those beautiful eyes and before you know it the baby will be born”.

“Okay Daddy, I can't wait! Night night.”

“Night babygirl, I love you” he says as he stands, bending to kiss her head.

“Love you too Daddy.”

After softly shutting her door- but not all the way because she doesn’t like her door shut- he’s quick to return to you. He can tell somethings off. Once he’s made his way back downstairs you’re eagerly sat up waiting for him.

“She wasn’t too sad I didn’t come up to say goodnight, was she? I just can’t handle the stairs right now; my body is so tired.” You whine as you look to him.

“No baby of course not, I’m sorry you feel so shit” he responds as he comes to sit next to you, rubbing a hand over your thigh.

“Fuckkk” you suddenly utter sucking in a breath.

“Another one already, really?” he jumps forward a little.

You just nod as you let out a little moan.

Fuck. -and this isn’t even the real thing yet, he’s gonna be a mess.

This continues for the whole night in the most random of sequence. Until he feels enough is enough “Baby I know we are timin’ these as best we can, but they’re all over the place, I think we should just stop with this now and try to relax you? It’s obviously not labour.”

“Yeah, I’m just stressing myself out even more. They aren’t coming, I'd know if they were, although” you look down to your stomach prodding at it as you add “I do not appreciate this, thank you very much.” You sigh whilst he laughs at you telling off your unborn child. You then add “let’s just put something on tv and relax. God my body is so tired though, I hope it’s not long till it’s over.”

“I know darlin’, they’ll be here soon, and then you can relax. Not long baby” he cuddles you close.

You settle back down then trying your best to get comfortable.

A sudden wince within the quiet of the room as the tv plays softly makes Joel jump. He looks to find you rubbing just under your ribs.

“You havin’ another one baby?”

“No, just kicking my ribs, bloody rascal… here” you take Joel’s hand positioning it where you had just felt the foot? Of course, nothing happens, typical. The baby will kick and kick but when there’s an audience eagerly awaiting the show they stop. Thankfully all it takes is you pushing his fingers into the spot for the baby to respond.

Joel feels his heart melt, and he becomes overwhelmed with emotion. He’s so excited to be a dad once more even if he is petrified. “My perfect baby” he whispers as he strokes the spot.

About half eleven, your head is droopy on Joel’s shoulder, you feel super tired, and you think it best to take advantage of the moment, going up to bed now in hope that when your head hits the pillow, you’ll be able to sleep. Joel is close behind, watching as you carefully get yourself comfortable in the bed. He can see how much you’re aching, how difficult it is for you to move at all, but you still do it so gracefully, so beautifully. You’re just this ultimate beauty that he adores.

“Think I’m gonna have a bath in the morning if I still feel like this, maybe that will help?” It’s more of a question than a statement.

“Sounds like a good idea baby, now you go try and sleep I’m just gonna use the bathroom then I’ll snuggle up next to you.”

“Okay, night cowboy”

“Night beautiful, I love you” he bends to kiss your lips.

“Love you too.”

Joel stops off at the nearby storage cupboard before entering the bathroom, getting out one of the fluffy towels he knows you love so much. He places it onto the toilet seat lid ready for your morning bath if you decide on it. Then he makes his way back to you, the room is dark, he listens to your breathing for a second and by some miracle, you are in fact asleep.

He climbs in carefully next to you. “Sleep well baby” he whispers to you before placing a soft kiss to your shoulder as he snuggles up to your back, pulling you closer to him. He drifts off within seconds so happy and warm snuggled up to you.

🩷

He’s awoken in the middle of the night to a shout; he’s unable to make out what's said but it definitely gets his attention. It's only when he hears it again ‘Joeeel!’ and it’s clear it’s your voice that he lifts his body up and looks to his side, your side of the bed is empty and cold to the touch, you’ve been gone a while. He jumps up shouting “I’m coming baby!”

He shoves the bathroom door open and is met with you, red faced on your knees in the bath, gripping the side so hard your knuckles are white; gritting your teeth as you scream your way through what is an obvious actual contraction.

Fuck

He looks to you and you look back at him. Fuck you look like you’re in so much pain and he hates it. “Joel” you whisper to him. His heart is fucking racing and he runs over to you then, not a care in the world that he’s naked. “It’s okay shhhh, baby breathe” Joel strokes at your lower back. His voice laced with fear and worry even through he’s trying so hard to mask it.

When you manage to catch your breath back you look to him in fear “Fuck Joel, that one hurt” you groan as you lower yourself back onto your heels in the tub. Joel moves with you coming to squat besides the bath as he faces you.

“It’s okay, you’re doing amazing baby” he kisses your forehead before asking the question he’s dreading but already knows the answer to, “s’it time?” He rubs your arms as he looks into your eyes.

“I- yeah, I’m pretty sure it is” you whine as a tear runs down your cheek.

Fuck why didn’t you wake him earlier is all he can think. You chose to suffer for this long alone, but he won’t dwell on it, you look broken, your eyes full of tears. He wipes them from your eyes like he’s done so many times before, and he notices that gleam he fell in love with reappear in them, slightly. God you’re gorgeous. He stays in that thought till you have the audacity to apologise for waking him. You act like you’ve committed a crime “don’t you dare say sorry, y'aint got nothin’ t’be sorry for.”

He can see you getting more and more uncomfortable as time goes on and so he’s straight to your aid when you ask for help getting out. He grabs the fluffy towel from behind him and wraps you up in it to keep you warm as he holds you tight in his arms. He wants to keep you as calm as possible, and God does he love you, he hates seeing you like this . You snuggle into his chest; feeling as you physically relax.

“Y’know I knew second babies were faster, but this seems super-fast” it’s muffled as you say it into his chest. He hums in response, only allowing himself to internally panic. You look up at him then “Can we go back into the bedroom? I wanna go sit on the bed; my back’s killing”.

He kisses the top of your head then “Course Baby, come on let’s get you comfy.”

He walks you into the bedroom and helps you sit on the bed. He then proceeds to help you to dry off and put on an oversized lounge set. He notices your bare feet; he can imagine you’re already feeling uncomfortable with them exposed like usual. So, he gets up, grabs some pink fluffy socks out of the drawer and puts them on your feet; knowing how cold your toes get. You like to torture him with them at night, pressing them against his warm legs.

“Thank you for always being so good to me cowboy” you smile at him.

Cowboy, you know how much he hates you calling him that: he’ll let it slide all things considered. Fuck he loves you so much. He takes your free hand in between his; “baby I love you so much, and the fact that I have this amazin’ life and I share it with you, and you’ve given me Sarah, now this baby too, I am so so grateful to you...”

He eventually goes and grabs some clothes for himself. He hears as you struggle through another pain whilst he’s preoccupied. Fuck this is really happening. It makes him get dressed all the faster.

When he’s finally dressed, he’s absolutely petrified, his heart is racing to the point it’s almost painful and he can’t help but break out in a sweat, but he tries his best to keep it all to himself. He feels like a first-time parent all over again. Completely clueless and out of control. Remembering how Sarah’s birth was quite traumatic, and that you were in a lot of pain doesn’t help the situation. You were constantly crying out for him, and he’s never felt as awful as he did when he couldn’t take the pain away from you.

Especially considering he strives through life making sure you’re happy and healthy, this is the only situation ever, that he’s felt helpless in, and it scares him that he’s going to witness it once more. He’s pacing back and forth till he can’t physically stand it anymore. He checks all the bags are packed ready and places them ready to go by the front door, with everything present and correct he then proceeds to call Tommy.

The phone begins ringing and with every ring Joel feels worse and worse, he hates thinking that he’s waking them up. Although this was the plan, if it happened no matter when no matter where. He calls Tommy and lets him know. They will then come and stay as long as is needed with Sarah.

After five rings Tommy finally picks up.

“Hello” he answers with a sleepy groan.

‘Tommy, hey bud sorry it’s late, we need you to come over’-

“Oh, shit so she was in labour?” he interrupts, his voice suddenly perking up and he can hear how he shoots up in bed.

-‘yeah, it’s time’-

“Oh my god labour!” Joel can hear Maria shout in the background before Tommy adds “If you can’t tell, Maria’s real excited, aren’t you sugar?”

“Hell yeah!” it’s distant again and she sounds out of breath like she’s running around the bedroom getting ready already.

Joel laughs.

“I’m excited too big brother” Tommy eventually adds. “Give us 20 minutes and we'll be there. Maria’s already dressed haha. Now you go look after your girl."

-‘Okay perfect I’ll let her know, see y’soon, thanks Tommy.’

He puts his phone back in his pocket before making his way back over to you on the bed, sitting at your side. “He says they’ll be twenty minutes max, should’ve heard the squeal Maria let out.”

“Anyone would think it’s her baby” you giggle “but amazing thank you”. God how he admires your ability to still be funny at any given moment. He loves how you find the positives in everything.

When the decision is made to wake Sarah to let her know, it freaks him out even more, it’s getting so real now. “You know what; I still can’t get over that we are doing this again” he smiles before kissing your forehead. “I love you Baby” it’s about the fiftieth time he’s told you tonight, but boy does he mean it. He’s never ever loved you more.

🩷

Joel helps you to waddle across the hall to Sarah’s door, his hand resting softly on your lower back. He only leaves you then, in order to knock, before slowly pushing it open. Sarah is fast asleep, her nightlight highlighting her gorgeous features. She begins to rouse as he steps a foot into the room. “Daddy?” she rouses confused, he quickly looks back to you, just as another contraction washes over you. He goes to stop but you nod for Joel to continue in, so he turns back to focus on his daughter.

“Hey baby girl!” it’s an excited whisper.

Sarah looks to the window and notices it’s still dark. Rubbing her eyes, she looks back to him. “Daddy, it’s not morning.”

“No baby, I know, listen, me and Mama have somethin’ to tell you” he takes a seat on her bed, still unable to get over the fact she’s going to be a big sister.

She yawns as she sits up straighter in her bed, intrigued. “Where is Mama, was she shouting?” the concern evident in her voice which melts his heart.

He strokes her head “She will be in, in a minute baby. Now listen, your new little brother or sister wants to say hello, so we need to go to the hospital, Uncle Tommy and Aunt Maria are on the way to come and stay with you, whilst we’re gone okay.”

“The baby’s comin’?” a smile grows on her face.

“Yeah babygirl, the baby’s comin’.”

“Yay, okay!” it’s an excited squeal, one that reiterates the adoration and love she has for her unborn sibling already.

He strokes her hair as he stares at her, never having loved someone as much as he loves her.

“Mama!” she bounces in her place on the bed eyes lighting up as she looks to the space behind him.

“Hi my pretty girl!” he hears you reply behind him, sounding tired.

He’s quick to turn to look at you asking, “you okay?”

“Fine, honestly” you smile in response.

He nods.

“Can you come and sit with me Mama?” Sarah taps the place on her bed next to her as she shuffles over slightly.

He moves to be sat near to Sarah’s feet, giving you and Sarah more room to stretch out. He sits and stares at his two favourite girl as they converse with one another. When their conversation ends and they’re cuddling, Joel continuously smiling at you, he then taps Sarah foot “hey Sarah, last time to put your bet in, what’s it gonna be a boy or a girl?”

“It’s a sister I know it, she told me” certainty on her tongue.

“Oh yeah, and when did ‘she’ apparently tell you this?” you reply making Joel chuckle.

“When me and her were talking one day, you know we like to talk”.

“Well, we will soon see, me and Daddy think it’s a boy” he chuckles as you boop her nose.

“But I don’t want a - Oh- Mama? Are you okay?”

He watches as your body tenses, and you begin to close in on yourself. Squeezing your eyes shut as you begin to breathe your way through it.

“Mama’s okay baby” he’s quick to reassure when he notices the fear within her eyes. All the while he strokes a hand up and down your leg “This is just your baby brother or sister tryin’ t’get out”. Smiling at her for reassurance, she seems to relax slightly then, he then adds looking back to you “Breathe Mama”.

“Oh” Sarah moves slightly in your arms, opting to rub some hair out of your face and behind your ear. Joel can’t believe what he’s seeing. Sarah then proceeds to kiss your check once she has done it adding her own “breathe Mama.”

Joel watches, his heart pounding with adoration and pride as you and Sarah show each other love. With the contraction over, Sarah moves to bring her mouth to your belly. She lifts up your top to expose it and whispers against the skin; “Don’t hurt Mama please baby sister” she kisses your tummy and adds “I can’t wait to meet you.” He tears up at that, instantly, but tries to hold it back because if caring Sarah decides to start hugging him too that will be it. The tears would start flowing and he wouldn’t be able to stop them.

Eventually there is a distant knock drawing all three of your attention’s. Joel is quick to stand up and is out of the room in the same breath. He races down the stairs to open the front door letting an excited Maria and Tommy in.

“How is she?” Maria questions excitement laced in her voice.

“Pains are gettin’ worse, but she’s okay.”

“Good” Maria smiles as she kicks off her shoes.

“And how’re you doin’ big brother?” Tommy looks to his brother.

“Shittin’ myself” he laughs letting out a big breath.

“Ahh you’ve got this” he reassures tapping a hand onto his shoulder.

“Hope you’re right” he laughs.

“Where are they?”

“They’re in Sarah’s room.”

He then proceeds to lead Tommy and Maria up.

“Hey stinker!” Tommy shouts to his niece as they enter the room.

“Hey Uncle Tommy, hi Maria!”

Joel looks to you in an instant, noticing that you’re crying and is straight to your side “You, okay?” he then reaches to Sarah’s bedside table to get you a tissue.

“I’m fine, I promise, Sarah was being Sarah, and now I’m crying. You know how it goes” you laugh wetly.

“Oh, I do. Jesus, you scared me for a second” he turns to Sarah then, stroking her cheek “You’re the best aren’t you babygirl” she giggles in response.

He then looks back to you “Right baby, y’ready to go?”

“Yeah” you smile and take a deep breath “let’s go have a baby!”

Fuck- another baby.

Joel holds out both his hands to you and he helps you to swing your legs back over the side of the bed. He then helps to pull you up with a groan. You take a second to catch your bearings, now you are back on your feet. Joel helps to walk you slightly to the middle of the room, so Tommy and Maria are able to position themselves on the bed by Sarah.

Maria sits herself next to Sarah and he can’t help but smile. Just as he notices you do. It’s so lovely to know she’s in amazing hands whilst you’ll be gone.

He’s holding your hand as you begin your usual routine which makes him laugh. Telling Sarah to be good, do as she’s told, all that jazz. He’s so used to the routine that he isn’t fully paying attention but when he hears “ugh” his full attention is in that moment, watching as you place your free hand under your stomach. Joel grabs hold of you tighter then- it’s when you shout “f-fuck!” that he gets scared. When in labour with Sarah, you only started swearing when it got bad. He feels as you grip onto his arm like it’s a lifeline and move back to face him. He shushes you as he offers you his other arm too, so you can hold onto him properly and sway. You push your forehead into his shoulder. You can’t help but be vocal this time, in too much pain to be able to control the moans that come out of your mouth. “You got this baby” Joel whispers into your hair. His heart pounding, and he’s kicking himself that he can’t really help. He holds you as long as is necessary.

You and Joel look into each other’s eyes when the pain is gone, it makes him even more nervous when he can see you’re already beginning to feel deflated. Yet he also can’t help but smile at the fact you swore in front of Sarah. It’s this smile that causes you to remember what you had just said. You stand up tall again and turn back to look at Sarah. “Mama is sorry for saying that baby, I didn’t mean it, be good for Tommy and Maria, listen to what they say okay? I love you.”

As Joel helps you to begin walking out of the bedroom Joel turns to look back at the three of them; “Tommy, I’ll be in touch, thank you again for havin’ her. See you soon babygirl, be good, love you”!

“Love you too Daddy, make sure to look after Mama”.

“I will, I promise!” he laughs.

Tommy and Maria both shout good luck and you make your way downstairs, grabbing the hospital bags that you left by the door, and then you’re on your way.

🩷🩵🩷

After what felt like an eternity in the room alone. Joel feeling terrorised as he watches you suffer through the pains. The hospital room door opens, he raises his head on the click of the door.

“Hi, I’m Sally your midwife, how are we both doing?”

Joel nods “good” in reply as you add “good thanks, but definitely progressing much faster than I expected.”

“Well, there’s never really been a time scale for these thing, your baby must just be super eager to make an appearance! Are you okay if I check you, just to see how far along you are?”

Joel moves to support you through the examination knowing that its going to be awful but stops as you begin crying out in pain again. Moving instead to rub your lower back, ‘counterpressure’ he remembers the midwife at Sarah’s birth called it. He doesn’t remember your cries being this bad last time. It makes him angry that he can’t stop it. Once the pain ends, he helps you to shift in the bed, so you’re able to get into a suitable position for the examination. Knowing it’s going to be uncomfortable; he remembers from last time; he’s already offered you his hand.

He stands impatiently from beside you looking as the midwifes head disappears below the blanket. He feels you grip his hand tighter once the midwife begins the exam. Eventually her head pops back up.

“Okay, six centimetres, coming right along, well done! Won’t be too much longer now hopefully” she snaps her gloves off.

“Oh, thank god” you groan.

“Now am I right in thinking it’s in your birth plan to have a water birth, if we have a room with a pool free? Is that still what you want?”

“I would love that! I really regret not having a water birth with Sarah.”

“Okay, no problem, I’ll get onto the case and find out if we have a room, I’ll be back with the verdict asap, in the meantime, I’ll be right outside if you need me, okay? That red button to your right, press it if you need me, I’ll come running, literally, especially if your water breaks okay, shout me!”

“Will do, thank you, nurse” he responds she smiles before leaving the room. Leaving the pair of you alone, listening in tune to your babies heart beat.

“She’s nice” you murmur as you turn to him and smile.

“Yeah, I like her” Joel agrees. She seems like a caring midwife of which he’s glad, the midwife at Sarah’s birth just kept getting mad at you and he’s really hoping that won’t happen again. He got really angry with her, but didn’t act on it as he needed to be there to support you. He was sure to put in a hefty complaint afterwards though. Eventually you snap him out of his thoughts.

“Hey not too much longer baby and we will be a family of four, how crazy is that!”

“I can’t wait” and he really can’t, just the idea alone of his family expanding makes his heart feel so full. “D’you think Sarah is right about it being a girl?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I know she really wants a sister, so I would love to give her one. But either way she will be the best big sister, I know that much.”

You’re right of course, she’s such a special little girl. “Oh, she most definitely will, I have to agree with you there Darlin'.”

Joel moves his hand out of the grasp of yours and begins to caress your belly. Making gentle work of it, as he knows just about any pressure on it right now is painful. You let out a pleasurable moan in response. His palms tickling your belly in a really relaxing way. His baby kicking in response every so often. And it seriously makes him tear up. He’s going to be meeting his baby soon.

“God, I really hope I can have a water birth.”

“I’m prayin’ for you baby” he replies leaning down to kiss your stomach.

🩷🩵🩷

Two hours later, again, your breathing begins to speed up as another pain takes over you whilst you lie on your side in the hospital bed. You’ve been checked multiple times and it seems this baby is in no rush to make an appearance. You grab onto Joel’s arm as you moan with the pain. You lean into him, curling your body tight. He uses the arm you don’t have a hold of, to rub up and down your back. She’s getting bad is all he can think. Struggling so much to keep your composure. He can't believe it’s dragged out this long. Time is just going on and on and this baby seems no closer to coming.

“Y’got this baby, m’so proud of you” he reassures softly.

“Ugh, it really hurts” your voice breaks and you can’t help the tears that begin to fall. “I can’t do it anymore!”

Shit “You can baby, you can. You’ve got this, you’ve done it all before with Sarah. Just think of how amazin’ life is now because you brought her safely into the world. You did that! Endured all that pain t’bring her into the world, and now you’re gonna do the same again with this baby. We are all so lucky to have you. You’re so strong. So beautiful n’so strong.” He kisses your sweat soaked forehead. Fuck he hates that he can’t do more.

When the pain eventually subsides, you have the ability to sit up straighter. Joel moves out of your way so you’re able to sort yourself out, however you wish to. Rather than sitting against the pillows, you bring your legs over the side of the bed, so you can sit directly facing Joel. You hold your hands out on either side of the bed to help you stabilise.

He stares at how small you look, dropping to kneel in front of you, allowing you to put your arms around his neck, in an effort to hold him closer. He’s your safe space. You pull each other into an embrace, and you rest your head on his shoulder as you cry.

“Shhh baby, you’re okay, you got this” he kisses you softly.

You don’t say anything, you just continue to hug him as you shake and cry. Joel brushes his hands up and down your back. After giving you a moment:

“Hey Darlin', look at me” he whispers to you as you stay snuggled into his neck. You don’t move, just shake your head no into his shoulder. “Baby” he pulls away a little “please, look at me” this time it’s much sterner, but still drowned in concern.

You slowly lift your head up; your hair falls in front of your face as you do so. Your face red and shiny with tears. You looks exhausted and defeated. Joel brushes the hair behind your ears and smiles at you. He then wipes your wet cheeks to free them of your tears. “Hi” he smiles “there’s my girl, see you’re so strong. So much stronger than I could ever be. I promise you, you’ve got this”.

“I don’t” you whimper.

“Baby” he laughs “you do! Look at you, you’re literally doin’ it as we speak!”

“I don’t feel strong”.

“But you are, come on take a deep breath. S’all gonna be worth it”.

You take a deep breath in before exhaling, keeping eye contact with Joel as you do. You bring a hand to your lower back with a wince.

“Can you help me up please? I wana walk for a little?”

“Course baby, whatever y’need”.

He takes hold of both of your hands and pulls as you begin to lift yourself off the hospital bed with a groan. You then proceed to pace; breathing deeply as you rub your belly. Joel watches from the side lines chewing on one of his nails. What the fuck can he do to help you? He thinks and thinks till a great idea comes into his head.

He looks at you as you pace “You up for some music? We can dance for a bit, will that help?”.

He stops you in your tracs and you look up at him. One hand still holding your belly. “Aww Joel, you cutie you still wana dance with me? Even when I look like this.”

“I always wana dance with you darlin'." They’re the truest words he’s ever spoke.

He makes quick work of grabbing his phone and puts on a random playlist of slower songs. He takes you into his arms and cuddles you close swaying with you. He loves feeling you so close and calm. Content to be in his arms. You stop with each contraction that hits you, and he rubs your lower back. He kisses the top of your head every so often. You continue to do this for a while, seemingly more relaxed until:

“Shit, wait Joel stop, I feel weird.”

He immediately stops swaying with you but continues to hold you. His heart suddenly pounding once more.

“What d’you mean?”

“I- I, it feels weird down there, I don’t know.” He watches as you grab the underneath of your stomach.

“What can I do?” he can’t help the fear evident in his eyes.

You begin to stand straighter in his arms. “I- I just need to move, just need t-"

You’re interrupted by a gush of water, falling from between your legs. Soaking your bare feet, and Joels boots.

Shit.

He blanks out for a second, staring into empty space, unable to do anything, but is brought back when you keel over with another pain. Placing your palms onto the hospital bed as you sway and moan.

Joel rushes to push the red button, then races right back to your side to help you through it. The nurse is in the room within a couple of seconds.

“Hey, I was just on my way back to you guys, what’s going on?”

Joel notices you’re still getting over your pain, and that he is going to need to respond on your behalf.

“Erm, her waters went”.

“Oh goodie! Progressing as we should and to top it off, we have a room free. We will take you there when you’re ready sweetie” she rubs your shoulder in concern.

🩷🩵🩷

The short walk to the delivery suite brings Joel out in a sweat. He’s walking behind you in the wheelchair, being pushed by Sally, carrying the bags. Fuck it's really happening. When you enter the suite, he gulps. This is where it’s going to happen, when he next leaves this room, he’s going to be the dad of two. Completely responsible for two lives. Sally begins filling the pool at once. He helps you to stand out of the wheelchair and fishes out your bikini top from the bag. He helps you to put it on and ties your hair off your shoulders. Finally helping you to climb into the water once it's ready. Sally instantly handing you the gas and air.

Joel has a newfound energy now. Coaxing you exceptionally through the pains you have and the next hour of contracting in the water, comes and goes in what feels like five minutes. Now, you’re sat leaning against the side of the tub, a flannel over your forehead as Joel is rubbing your shoulders. Your body so tense and achy. He feels your shoulders tense telling him another pain is starting. This pain is excruciating. There’s something much more primal about this scream that Joel notices instantly. He watches as you sit up taller in the pool, pulling a face as you try to move to get more comfortable, which is just impossible.

He moves into your view “You okay baby?” alarm bells instantly ringing when he sees the distress on your face.

“There’s so much pressure down there I think- I feel like- like I need to push.” You take a second to get a proper feel for what it is you’re feeling eyes bugging as you look to him again, “yeah, I do- I need to push Joel!”

Shit.

He’s quick to jump up, pressing the red button and it takes all of ten seconds for Sally to return.

“How we doing?” she asks genuinely, but it’s obvious she knows the answer she’s about to get.

“I need to push!” you utter before a contraction takes over you that has you screaming in pain. You turn in the tub to face Joel and put your arms over his shoulders. He hugs you close.

Okay it’s happening, it’s official. He remembers the screams; this baby is coming and it’s coming now.

“You’re okay baby, you’re doin’ so good” he reassures.

“Okay, when this pain is over, I’m going to check you, whatever you do, do not push, okay?” Sally shouts in a rushed tone.

You nod into Joel’s shoulder in response and it takes every fibre of your being not to push. You don’t move whilst she examines you, continuing to cuddle into Joel as you try to suppress the urge to push.

“Okay it’s go time angel; babies head is right there I can see it.”

“Oh, thank God” it comes out like a cry.

He lets out a massive sigh of relief. “Y’hear that baby you can push” he softly whispers.

“You can start pushing as soon as you’re ready angel, how do you want to do this? You happy in the position you’re in or do you want to move?”

“No, I want to stay like this” you say determined but exhausted.

“That’s absolutely fine. Now on the next contraction, I want you to push with everything you’ve got, okay, I’m going to count to ten and I need you to push that whole ten seconds, okay? You’re no quitter, so I don’t want any giving up.”

“Yeah, okay” it’s about all you can manage response wise.

It doesn’t take long till the next contraction happens, they’re basically on top of each other by this point. You bare down as you grip onto Joel, and you give it all you’ve got. He feels as you bare down and squeeze into his body as you ensure all of your energy is being used to push into your bum. You hold your breath squeezing.

“Good!” the midwife shouts “keep going that’s it, 8, 9, 10!”

You stop pushing with a gasp.

Joel gasps too, that was the longest ten seconds of his life.

“You did so good baby” Joel whispers in your ear. He knows reassurance is key right now. The last thing he wants is for you to start feeling as though you can’t do it.

“Ready to go again?” the midwife asks, and you nod before baring down for another ten. It takes a few more pushes before the head is completely out.

“Okay good the head is out! Well done! Take some deep breaths for me. Just a few more pushes and your beautiful baby will be here!”

“The heads out?” he hears you cry into his shoulder.

“Yes, it’s out!”.

“Can I feel?”

“Yeah, course go for it” the midwife adds. You move out of Joel’s grip slightly, bringing one of your arms back to feel the head between your legs.

He watches as her hand disappears between her legs. Face lighting up before looking him dead in the eye. “Oh, Joel, I can feel them, wow they have a lot of hair”.

“Yeah? Lotta hair, just like Sarah?” he asks. Feeling so much love for this baby already. His new baby has loads of hair just like his gorgeous daughter did. He could cry.

“Oh yeah beautiful full head of hair I can see it” the midwife adds in looking over your body to look to Joel briefly. They smile at each other.

“Good, hey almost there now baby” he kisses your head as you lean back into him. He couldn’t be any prouder of you if he tried.

The room is filled with pants as you all wait for the next pain. Joel feels as your entire body heaves. He can feel how tired you are becoming; more than glad you’re now at the final stretch.

“Give us a really big push on this next contraction, okay?”

“I can’t” you shake your head into Joel’s shoulder.

“Baby you can, what do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t!” you cry.

This hurts him. It cuts deep. You’re absolutely deflated. “Baby, you’ve been doing so well and you’re so near the end now”. You don’t reply or give him any indication that your listening, so he quickly adds “hey look at me.”

You lift your head slowly from his neck to look at him.

“You’re so strong you’ve got this, okay? You push, give it everythin’ you’ve got and lets meet this baby of ours, okay?”

“Y-Yeah, okay”

“Good girl” Joel replies kissing your forehead. His smile reappearing once he sees some of your sparkle reappear.

The pain begins to wash over you and you push until you can’t anymore. Joel and Sally coaching you through every second of the push.

“Few more pushes and baby is out” the midwife adds.

“Good you can do this baby come on!” Joel shouts enthusiastically.

You scream as you bare down gripping onto Joel’s shoulders. It takes three more pushes to get the baby out. The midwife is there to catch and when the baby is finally free from your body you immediately sit back releasing Joel, taking the baby from her.

Oh god, he’s so overwhelmed watching you cry as your new baby is passed to you. He’s in shock.

“It’s a girl!” the midwife announces as she places your screaming daughter in your arms.

“Another girl Joel!” you cry at him, and he comes over to kiss you on the head before placing a hand on the back of his new screaming daughters head.

He’s now the dad to two girls. He has two girls to protect now.

“She’s so beautiful” he finds himself choking back tears.

“Sarah was right” you laugh, “she got the sister she always wanted”.

“Look at all of her hair!” he’s genuinely shocked, he strokes it with his large, calloused fingertips, it’s so much more than Sarah had, and he though that amount was crazy.

“She gets that from her daddy” you chuckle.

You had said the exact same thing to him when Sarah was born, he remembers it clearly. Fuck he loves you he can’t help the tears that begin to fall.

You’re crying, Joel’s crying, the baby is crying. You all just stay like that for a minute.

“Dad do you wana cut the cord?” Sally asks Joel, bringing you both out of your new baby bliss bubble.

“Y- yeah” he replies. His first responsibility to his new daughter. Freeing her. Making her, her own person. An individual. HIS beautiful individual.

He grabs the scissors from Sally watching as you move the baby to be cradled in your arms, he reaches down to cut the clamped cord. The midwife then takes the baby and gives her to a nurse to clean her off whilst you deliver the placenta.

Joel feels useless as the nurses work round him preparing you to go to the postnatal ward. But when you allow him the honour of carrying your daughter up to the new room he jumps at the chance. Walking at a snails pace along the corridor to the lift. Petrified of anything and everything in his surroundings.

🩷🤍🩷

An hour later all three of you are settled in the postnatal ward. Joel sits on the chair next to the bed watching your newborn daughter sleep against your chest. She makes little purr like noises as she does. He could cry as he rests his palm against her head. She’s so small.

He stares at her for who knows how long. Time non-existent in his new daddy bubble. “What should we call her?” he eventually asks. Knowing you’ll have come to a decision having now seen her face.

You turn your head to the side to look at him briefly, whispering back “I think she looks like an Ellie.”

“Ellie?” he looks to her squished, pouty face then. Studying her as a grin grows and grows on his face. Ellie, HIS ELLIE. “S’perfect” he leans to kiss her tiny head.

As if she hears herself being talked about, she stirs awake and lets out a little grouchy cry. That quickly turns into a pleading scream.

“Oh, Baby Ellie, you’re hungry again huh?” you ask her.

Moving, Joel quickly grabs Ellie from you, as it's much easier to undress yourself ready to feed her that way. When your breasts are freed and you’re propped up comfy enough on the cushions, Joel helps to position her at your breast, knowing it still really hurts when you move. Her tiny head fishes around for the nipple; quickly finding it, she latches almost instantly. Joel leaves you both to it then. Retreating back to his chair to admire your amazing body and what it does to keep your daughter alive.

“You’re so special baby” he murmurs to you quietly, not wanting to disturb a very content and hungry Ellie.

“Joel don’t you’ll make me cry” you reply wetly with a soft laugh.

“I mean it, I don’t think I could love you any more than I do right this second” he smiles at you.

“I love you so much too, I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“That was all on you baby, nothin’ to do with me.”

“Joel, shut up, you were there when I needed you, you kept me calm. You’re my hero, now get your ass over here and kiss me because I can’t move” you laugh.

He’s quick to laugh back rising from his chair and coming to sit on the bed next to you. He’s delicate as he touches your cheeks, curling his fingers round the back of your head, he pulls your face towards his connecting your lips. It’s a deep, sensual kiss. Long awaited, much needed. Full of love.

He eventually retreats back to his chair, but not before stopping off at his bag, and getting out his camera. He sits himself back down and turns the camera on, pointing it right at you. You looks gorgeous right now, he needs to keep this memory forever.

“Babe, stoppp I bet I look a mess”.

“You look gorgeous Baby.”

This birth had been much less traumatic than Sarah’s and you’re raring to go home. Thankfully you get the all clear to go, Ellie was born six hours ago; she had fed easily and is going to the toilet normally. And you got the all clear on your health too, so home time it is. Joel dresses Ellie in her going home outfit, you brought a blue and a pink one with you. He makes sure she’s wrapped up incredibly warm as he places her into the car seat. Leaving you with enough time to give Sarah a call like you promised.

The walk to the car feels so long. Him taking every single step extra carefully. You make him stop at the entrance so you can take a photo of him carrying your daughter out in the car seat, just as was done with Sarah.

He's shitting himself for the drive home, and with you and Ellie safe and secure in the back he gives himself an internal pep talk, telling himself to calm the fuck down and then you’re off. Driving into the night. Going home to make your family of four a reality.

🩷🩵🩷

There’s a welcome home sign on the front door, clearly made by Sarah, when you make it back home. Joel quickly rushes out of the car to open your door for you, helping you out of the car. “Do you wana get her or do you want me to?” He questions. “You get her babe” you reply to him.

He nods making his way into the back to get Ellie out who’s sleeping soundly once more- definitely his daughter. You then walk up to the front door together; Joel quickly unlocks it before moving back to allow you to enter first. Him close behind you with Ellie in tow.

You walk into the living room and Sarah runs straight to you. Jumping up and down in front of you. “MAMA!”

Sarah’s voice makes his heart so happy.

“Hi beautiful girl!” you say as you gently crouch down to hug her. “You wana meet someone special?” You mumble to her as you cradle her body close to yours.

She nods as you break away, her eyes fixed behind you, watching as he walks into the room, baby carrier in tow.

“Babygirl, this is Ellie, your baby sister” he announces excitedly.

“Sister? It’s a girl! See I told you!”

“Yeah, you were right baby, now if you go and sit nicely on the couch, you can hold her if you want?”

“Yes, yes pleaseeee!”

Sarah runs hurriedly over to it sitting nicely, kicking her legs with excitement. You come to sit next to her and put an arm around her. He delicately places the carrier down onto the floor and bends to carefully unclip Ellie to get her out. Maria and Tommy both coo from the other couch when her tiny body is lifted out of the seat. Joel wants to cry at the sight of her miniature body scrunching in on itself as he lifts her out. He walks over to Sarah, keeping Ellie in one arm as he uses the other to help Sarah to position her arms in order to hold her new sister correctly. Sarah’s one arm is moved to be propped against a pillow to further help her in supporting her baby sister. He then carefully places Ellie into her arms, eventually releasing her altogether.

“Hi Ellie, I’m your big sister. She’s so tiny wow” she strokes her cheek gently.

“She is huh?” He adds crouching next to her. “She’s gonna get so much bigger though, one day she will be as big as you.” And boy does she look big holding her dot of a sister.

“She’s so beautiful” as if on cue, Ellie opens her eyes then and looks straight up to her big sister in curiosity.

“Look Sarah she recognises you; she remembers her big sister’s voice from all those times you spoke to her when she was in my tummy. God, you look so big holding her baby girl” you bend her head towards you gently then to kiss her.

Joel reaches into his bag and gets his camera out once more. Needing to capture this moment of his three girls forever.

He quickly turns it on “girls look up, let’s get a picture of the three of you.”

You and Sarah both look up at once, you quickly wipe the now drying tears from your face. He ensures he takes lots and lots of pictures. So completely happy in this moment he never wants it to end.

“Right daddy I think it’s time you got in too, don’t you?” Maria asks from behind him, placing her hand delicately on his shoulder, he quickly passes her the camera and sits the other side of Sarah, you all smile once more at the camera, and Maria also take one of the three of you looking down at Ellie as she makes her tiny little noises.

"Okay now enough you lot, think it's time Uncle Tommy had a cuddle, don't you?" Tommy asks “c’mon shift, stop hoggin’ my niece!” He jokes.

You all can’t help but laugh at him.

This is family, this is love, this is the life you’d spent your whole life dreaming of. And here you are finally living it, and it’s so much better than you could’ve ever, ever imagined.

LIFE I Series Masterlist I Main Masterlist

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guiltyasdave · 11 months ago

Text

it’s the season

part of the space sisters secret santa 2023 - for @pascalispretty, merry christmas sophie! 🫶🏻

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

word count: ~ 1.8k

summary: Joel had promised his daughters that they would bake Christmas cookies this weekend - which turns out to be more complicated than he had anticipated. Fortunately, their new neighbor next door can help.

tags: AU! no outbreak, Joel has both of his daughters, FLUFF, hints at reader’s sad backstory but nothing specific, mentions of alcohol consumption, able-bodied reader, I think that’s it? Let me know if I missed something <3

dividers by @/saradika-graphics 🫶🏻

full masterlist here

follow @guiltyasdavenotifs and turn on notifications for fic updates

shoutout to @reddedmiller for holding my hand while writing this and convincing me that it’s not trash, i love you bby <3

It’s Sunday, one week until Christmas, and Joel Miller is beginning to lose his mind.

His daughters had been bugging him about baking Christmas cookies with them for weeks, and he wants nothing more than to make them happy, but while Joel is many things, he’s certainly not a baker.

Work has been hectic lately, which apparently led to him forgetting to buy the ingredients that the girls swear up and down they had requested several times.

He’s had to sent Sarah to ask one of their neighbors to lend them something twice now and by the looks of it, he’s gonna have to do it a third time. She groans and insists to take Ellie with her this time, complaining about how this is “sooooo embarrassing, Dad!”

You furrow your brow when your doorbell rings for the third time in half an hour, a slightly disbelieving look on your face when you open the door and once again reveal the young girl from next door standing on your porch, this time accompanied by who you think is her younger sister.

You only moved into the house a month ago and don’t really know any of your neighbors, except for the elderly couple that lives a few houses over. They had introduced themselves hours after you moved in and have tried to invite you to come to Sunday church with them several times, an invitation that you consistently decline.

You know the girls though, you often see them through your windows, constantly pestering their father, who constantly fends them off in a kind of gruffy but clearly loving manner.

The girl who had introduced herself as “Sarah” when she first came by thirty minutes ago to ask for baking powder smiles at you apologetically.

“Hi… again. I’m so sorry, do you by any chance have cinnamon as well?”

You can't help but laugh this time. “What are you guys even doing over there? I think I do, why don’t you come in while I go check?” They nod and follow you into your kitchen where you start digging through your supply of baking ingredients.

“Our Dad said he’d bake Christmas cookies with us today, but he forgot to get the groceries for it,” the other girl explains. “I’m Ellie, by the way.” You smile and tell her your name, then hand over the cinnamon to them.

“That’s very sweet of your Dad,” you remark, “I’m sure he’s trying his best.”

Ellie’s eyes fly over your neatly organized collection of ingredients and baking utensils, then her face lights up with an idea.

“Hey! You look like you’re a good baker and our Dad is really struggling to be honest. Do you want to come over and join us?”

“Ellie,” Sarah argues, “you can’t just invite people like that, I’m sure she has plans already.”

You don’t, to be fair, but you’ve never spoken to their father before, who’s rather giving the impression that he likes to keep to himself.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude…” you begin, when Sarah looks around herself and notices that you don’t have any Christmas decorations up around your house.

“Or do you not celebrate Christmas?” she asks, “You obviously don’t have to come if that’s not…”

Your heart warms at how considerate the young girl is trying to be. “No I do, I just didn’t…” you trail off, not sure how to explain that it feels pointless putting up decorations just for yourself and that you don’t want the reminders that it will be the first Christmas in your life that you’ll be spending completely alone. You shake your head and plaster a smile on your face. You do like baking and maybe this will help getting you into the spirit.

“You know what? Okay, if it’s alright with your Dad, I’ll come over and see how I can help.”

Both girls beam at you and you follow them over to their house, where you find their Dad elbows deep in a mixing bowl with dough sticking to his fingers and swearing to himself under his breath. You feel awkward and definitely like an intruder but the girls’ mouths are going a mile a minute, explaining how you had soooo many baking supplies and that you had agreed to help them.

Their Dad introduces himself as “Joel” and you feel your cheeks heating when you notice how attractive he is up close. You had already thought that when you’ve seen him from afar, but now that you’re standing in his kitchen, it really hits you. Trying to snap out of it, you take a closer look at the dough that he’s fighting with.

“This needs more flour, then it’ll be less sticky,” you mutter, suddenly feeling a bit shy, and go to add it to the mix in his bowl. He huffs a “Thanks” and you smile, still fighting the heat in your cheeks but also feeling excitement buzz through you as your hand brushes against his when you pull back.

The girls kick back into action then, throwing several recipes at you that they want to try and you do your best to coordinate it all, running back to your place for ingredients several times, accompanied by an apologetic look from Joel every time, but you honestly don’t mind. His daughters are adorable and you’re having more fun than you’ve had in months.

Sarah turns on the radio and Christmas songs sound through the kitchen. With the music in your ear and the smell of freshly baked cookies in your nose, you feel at ease, comfortable.

When all the cookies are baked and thoroughly taste tested, the girls retreat to their rooms on the upper floor, leaving you and Joel alone in the kitchen. You find that you don’t want to leave, don’t want to go back to that big empty house where it’s just you, not now that you’ve basked in the warmth of this family home right next to yours all day. And just maybe, you want to spend more time with Joel.

“I have a bottle of pretty good red wine, shall I go and bring that? Half of my kitchen’s contents are here already” you joke and Joel laughs.

“I’m sorry about that, I’m usually better prepared, but work’s been crazy these weeks and the girls insisted on baking today, so…” He scratches his neck and you smile at him.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve had a great time today. Finally got me into the holiday spirit a bit, I kinda really needed that.”

You walk over and take the wine bottle back to his place where you sit down in the living room, the Christmas tree that has been mostly decorated by the girls shining in the corner and the several strings of fairy lights that Sarah has spread all over the room glowing around you.

You feel a warmth and comfort that you haven’t felt in a long time, but also a kind of envy for this feeling of family, of how clearly this man and the two girls belong together, how their house is basically imbued with love for each other. A feeling that you’re not sure you’ve ever had, but that you suddenly find yourself desperately longing for.

“So…” Joel begins, a faint expression of uncertainty on his face. “Is it just you over there, or…?” You understand what he’s asking and nod, a wry smile playing around your lips.

“Yeah, it’s- it’s a bit of a long story, really, but yes, it’s just me.” The understanding is clear on his face and he doesn’t push you, sensing that you don’t want to expand on the subject and you’re grateful.

You still talk about both of your pasts, where you grew up, where you went to school, learning that Joel lost his parents when he was young, only two years after he had Sarah, how it had been just the both of them in the beginning, with the addition of his younger brother whom he speaks of with the loving kind of exasperation that only an older sibling can muster up, and how he adopted Ellie a few years later.

You finish the bottle quicker than you would like to, and when Joel walks you home and you’re both stood in front of your door, you’re drunk on more than the red wine, a happiness in your veins that warms you from within.

Joel clears his throat, his eyes trained on your face.

“Listen, I don’t want ya to feel pressured or nothin’, but would you want to come over for Christmas Eve? ‘S just me an’ the girls, nothin’ fancy, just-“ he shrugs, his hands buried in his pockets, “don’t like the thought of you alone in this house on Christmas.”

It might be embarrassing how quickly you say “yes”, but you can’t bring yourself to feel that way. A smile stretches across Joel’s face as he tells you “good night” and kisses your cheek before you step into your house and watch him walk back to his.

Christmas at the Miller household is one of the best evenings that you’ve ever had. Sarah and Ellie have gone all out on the decorations now that they have a guest, leaving twinkling lights, glitter and ornaments in every corner and on every surface, Joel makes a surprisingly good dinner, you’re playing board games with the girls that dissolve into fights between them most of the time, everyone is talking over each other and you’re all eating chocolate until you’re sick with the sugar high.

Late in the evening, with both of the girls softly snoring on the couch, tangled up in each other like two overly large kittens, Joel and you are sharing another bottle of wine. You feel so full of happiness that you feel like you might burst, a smile on your face that feels like it’s never gonna leave again.

When it’s time for you to go home, Joel stands with you and walks with you to his front door. “Thank you again, for inviting me,” you smile at him, “this was probably the best Christmas Eve that I’ve ever had.”

He nods, his gaze dancing between your eyes and your lips.

“Merry Christmas,” you murmur, butterflies erupting in your stomach. He leans in and you hesitantly do the same. Before you can overthink it, you cradle his face in your hands and pull him towards you, your lips meeting in a soft kiss.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispers against your lips.

i hope you liked this!!! merry christmas and happy holidays 🫶🏻

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